#i can't believe that saturday was the first time i was 'allowed' to party in 7 years

[ohcarolina]

and there's so much stuff in my head that just makes it all so clear. like right now he's putting our son to bed and he's just arguing with him... never a nice word to his literal flesh and blood, he only ever cares about me in an extremely uncomfortable hyperfixated way. and i remember when he proposed i hated every second of it, i felt so awkward and i actually had like a rage in my gut... and then i said yes because i'm a dumb bitch who could never say no. i know this all sounds really horrible reading it from an outside pov...

[bairdthereader]

Nick Asking Charlie Out: Intention

The differences between the show and the comic in the scene where Nick asks Charlie to come to Harry's party are striking and, I think, are Alice's brilliant way of adding intention into this evolving relationship in a way it hadn't existed before.

In the comic, we get a panel that shows the boys' notebooks and their hands, but not their faces, as Nick says "Are you going to Harry Greene's party on Saturday?" Though Nick is obviously deeply interested in Charlie's answer, this is still a passive inquiry; the stakes are low when the question is framed this way.

In the show, on the other hand, we first get this moment of intense, silent struggle while Nick works up the nerve to ask a real question, a question that he knows is weighty. There's a second where he checks in with himself--you can see it in his eyes (Kit is brilliant here)--where he's asking himself if he's actually going to do this.

And, yes, he decides, he is. This is easily the most nervous we've ever heard Nick to this point. The words rush out, squeezed together and slightly high-pitched: "Do you want to go to Harry's party?" This in and of itself is still not a particularly loaded question; it's the fact that Nick managed to ask it at all that lends it consequence. He thought hard about it. He knew what he really meant when he asked it. He's still incredibly, intensely confused, but he also knows he's taking a concrete step toward exploring a romantic relationship with Charlie, even if he's still completely unsure of what that really means for his own identity journey.

And Nick wants Charlie to have a clear understanding of what he's really saying, too (as is Nick's way). So then comes the bit that really scares him, but about which he's undeniably most hopeful. This is where this scene deviates most noticeably from the comics, in which Nick never specifies that he wants Charlie to go to the party with him. I love that Alice made this change, because we get to see Nick, for the first time, making an intentional decision not only to act on his attraction to Charlie (in a seemingly small but for him really quite monumental way), but also, importantly, his intention to make Charlie aware, on some level, of his changing feelings.

In the comics we get Charlie's reluctance, and then Nick's admission that he doesn't want to hang out with his own friends. Then "I have you now, so . . . so will you come?" Again, Nick is asking Charlie to attend the party, and clearly wants him to say he will, so there is some kind of intention behind his ask, but he frames it safely in the context of wanting someone there to hang out with whose company he actually enjoys.

In the show, Nick is very purposeful and decisive in the way he responds to Charlie's reluctance. "I want you to be there." This is not passively allowing closeness to happen under the guise of friendship. Yes, Nick carefully walks the line between a platonic ask and a romantic one by not actually calling it a date, but this is still a critical point for him. This is intention, purposefulness, acting toward a specific, desired outcome.

I love the panel in the comics that appears after Charlie says he'll go to the party, that it will be fun if Nick is there. It's adorable, and Nick is clearly flustered and excited that Charlie changed his mind about the party based on Nick's desire for his company.

But in the show we get This Face. ⬇️ The I can't believe I just did that face, immediately followed by the thank god he said yes face (along with a tiny little sigh of relief that he managed to say what he wanted to say). This whole interaction is basically a preview of the rest of their relationship. Nick constantly acting in a very considered, purposeful way, pushing himself and surprising himself . . . in part because Charlie promises to be there, is happy to be there . . . and Nick not believing his luck.

[Side note: Charlie's face says a lot here too. It says "I think, maybe, that might have been an actual ask out!" Then it says "But maybe not, don't get too excited." Because despite Nick's intention, Charlie's past experiences and pain--not to mention everyone around him--have been telling him there's no way Nick could mean his question in the way Charlie wants to interpret it. Charlie's uncertainty even after this interaction makes Nick's next really purposeful, intentional, purely internally motivated move--taking Charlie's hand after their first kiss--that much more important.]

[hongmingoo]

Still You

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x f!Reader

Warnings: Brother's best friend, Best friend's sister, Slight underage relationship, Slight teacher-student relationship, Domestic Abuse (not explicit), Exes to lovers, Angst, Fluff, Forbidden love tragedy

Word Count: 11k+

Inspired from: Still You - Seungkwan

Summary: Tragic love story between two lovers who met at the wrong time, having to go through trials after trials just to end up finding each other again.

Jeon Wonwoo has never believed in love at first sight. He always thought that it takes time for people to get to know each other and eventually fall in love. But with you, it's so different.

You were his best friends' sister. A young girl compared to the circle he is used to. You were away, living with your grandmother in Jeju while your brother lived with your mom in Seoul. Six years younger than Jisoo is, you are instantly adored by his peers.

So, Wonwoo thought it's only normal for him to adore you too. You were a nice kid, polite and kind, also very understanding– very unfitting of your young age. You didn't complain when you're left alone at home after school because your mom works until late and your brother is busy with his school and part time job.

You'd do the chores at home on your own, cook simple dinner to eat, do your homeworks and go to bed early for school days. Sometimes, your classmate, Seungkwan would bring you food and side dishes that his mom made since he lived just next door. And because his younger brother Seokmin is in the same class as you too, he often sees you when he comes to pick Seokmin up from your house after his part time job.

"Poor Y/nie" Seokmin would say one day when they both walk home from your house.

"Why?" Wonwoo questioned.

"Because she's always left alone. Her mom's busy working, same as Jisoo-hyung. But when I asked her if she's lonely, she'd say she's okay with it because they're working hard to make extra cash now that she's staying with them. She's allowed to say she's lonely right, hyung?" Seokmin sighed, his tiny shoulders slumped from the heavy exhale.

Seokmin is caring, more than a 10-year-old should be, but that made Wonwoo proud nonetheless.

"Should we prepare a welcoming party for Y/nie? It's been 2 weeks since she came, right? We haven't had the time to welcome her properly. So, go tell Seungkwan and Soonyoung tomorrow that we'll throw a party for Y/nie at our home on Saturday" Wonwoo suggested, bending down to match his brother's eye level.

Seokmin's face lit up, nodding enthusiastically at the idea.

Still, Wonwoo didn't expect you'd be so happy when they threw the small party for you that Saturday. Didn't expect you'd cry and hugged him while saying your thanks. You'd hugged Seokmin, Seungkwan, and Soonyoung too, promising that you'd be best friends forever.

Jisoo and his mom had come at 8pm to pick you up and thanked his family for welcoming you so warmly which made his mom pat his back in pride. He'd kneel down in front of you to wipe your tears, told you to smile because you looked so pretty smiling.

Wonwoo didn't expect to fall for you, the way he did because he shouldn't. You are his best friend's sister, the one he looks up to as his own brother. And most importantly, you're way too young for him, plus you're also his brother's best friend. By the time he's 17, he realized that his first love is someone he can't get, someone he isn't supposed to love, someone he has to give up entirely on.

At 17, Jeon Wonwoo realized he had fallen in love with the 12-year-old you.

But, in his defense, you're way too mature for a 12-year-old. You're as attentive and caring as your brother Jisoo. You'd give him your handmade cards on his birthday, accompany him and Seokmin for dog walking, never attempt to drag him to a pool or a lake because you knew he had a fear of drowning.

There was one time where you'd knit a scarf for him because he got cold so easily. Tell him you learnt how to knit at school. You said you wanted to make him some mittens but it's too hard so you ended up making him the dark blue colored scarf instead. Then, you also promised that you'd make him a beanie with cat ears because he likes cats once you've practiced enough.

And Jeon Wonwoo realized he is fucked up because he can't possibly love someone so young. The guilt is eating him alive, he felt like he was betraying the trust Jisoo had on him. So, he did the only thing he knew at the moment. He ran away.

You were told by Seokmin that his brother had left to live with his grandparents in Changwon. So he could focus on his studies since he's a high school senior now.

"So, today our class will be taken over by the new student teacher. He's here for his internship for 6 months. So please be nice to him" your homeroom teacher, Mr. Yoon reminded his students. He welcomed the new teacher, that you didn't even notice his presence in the class, not that you cared.

You were just doodling when Soonyoung slapped your arm hard, to get your attention.

"Ow! What is wrong with you?!" You whisper-yelled, still having the decency to be quiet in class. You gave him a nasty glare but he paid you no mind, eyes still glued on the figure at the front of the class.

"Isn't he Seokmin's brother? The new teacher" he whispered, eyes not leaving the front.

"Hello, my name is Jeon Wonwoo. I'll be teaching you Math for this semester. Nice to meet all of you," the deep voice introduced himself with a smile. Your eyes widen, because you remember that voice, that face and most importantly, that smile.

"Hyung! It's me, Soon–" Soonyoung was about to expose himself, raising his hand in the air, but you quickly pulled him down together with you to hide your face on your table.

"Why are we hiding?!" He whispered, confused by your actions.

"I don't know?!" You replied, shaking your head.

"What?! Are you on your period or something? You're acting weird. Anyways, we're gonna have to introduce ourselves, so act proper" your friend scolded. You were stunned because he played Uno reverse on you since usually it's the other way around for you.

"My name is Kwon Soonyoung. My birthday is June 15 and I like tigers! I think you already knew me since we met when I was 10. I am Seokmin's best friend too" Soonyoung introduced himself happily, his hands flying everywhere. Wonwoo's eyes lit up in recognition upon seeing him, his smile widened.

"Oh, Soonyoung. You've grown. Nice to see you again. I look forward to seeing you around more" he chuckled at the boy's excited giggle. Soonyoung turned around to his side, a girl with long dark hair was sitting next to him, face hidden behind a book.

"Come on, your turn" Soonyoung chirped. You wished he could just shut up for one second. You groan inwardly as you stand up, feeling eyes on you already. You reluctantly meet Wonwoo's gaze but it accidentally turned into a glare from how hard you clenched your jaw.

"My name is Hong Y/n. I was born in winter, my hobby is reading" you mumbled your introduction, barely audible but Wonwoo heard it so clearly. It's you, the girl he missed the most. The girl who's still so pretty donning her summer uniform, even though it's already September, despite giving him a harsh glare with a pair of hazel orbs. Wonwoo's eyes widened slightly and his breath hitched but he masked it with a polite smile, the kind that teachers usually have.

"Did you miss your breakfast this morning, Hong Y/n? You seemed grumpy," he teased, for the sake of shaking off the heavy air hung in the classroom. The whole class erupted in laughter and you took a seat after blowing air to your bangs in annoyance.

"How did you know that, teacher? Y/n's only grumpy when she's hungry~" Youngji teased, earning a glare from you too.

"She reminds me of my cat at home. Grumpy when hungry, hehe" Wonwoo chuckled, making the whole class laugh again, except you of course.

"Anyways, I hope we get along just fine this semester. Pleased to meet all of you"

...

"Did you not have any decency to tell us your brother is back and he'll be teaching our class?" You scoffed, sitting at the table at the park for lunch.

"He told me to keep it a secret. He wanted to surprise you guys," Seokmin grinned, opening his lunch box carefully and picking up his chopsticks to start eating.

"I thought I was dreaming when I saw him walk into our class," Soonyoung said, sipping on his strawberry milk.

"So, he's back to your home?" Seungkwan questioned, munching on his sausage.

"No. He rented a house in town. He visited last weekend. And told me to keep it a secret. And here he is today" Seokmin laughed at your incredulous face.

"Are you still mad at him? It's been 5 years. Forgive him already. I thought you moved on from him?" Seungkwan asked.

"I didn't like him"

"Okay? So why are you mad?"

"He left without saying anything to me"

"You weren't anyone to him, Y/n. Why would he tell you? Haven't you thought of it like that?" Seungkwan questioned and you went silent, glaring at him. Soonyoung choked on his sandwich while Seokmin eyed the two of you warily.

"You didn't have to be so blunt about it," Soonyoung coughs, reaching for his strawberry milk. But Seungkwan was right, you were just a friend to his brother, why would he even tell you anything at all? But part of you is still mad at him, because you thought you were special, maybe you mean something to him. But no, you need a reality check. There's no way someone as perfect as Wonwoo would fall for a kid like you.

"Can I join you guys? We haven't had the chance to catch up," a familiar voice rang from behind you, making you frozen on the spot.

"Hyung! Have a seat, let's eat together," Soonyoung cheered and Wonwoo thanked him with a smile. He took a seat on the empty spot next to you, setting his tumbler and lunch box down before he began eating. You still froze, unable to look his way at all.

"You have to call me Teacher at school though. Please remember that," he scolded lightly, nose scrunching up in a cute smile. He still looked so cute and dainty, despite his body having bulked up from the last time they saw him. It's such a contradiction, but he looked hot anyways so who cares.

"Right, sorry. It's confusing," Soonyoung complained.

"When did you come back to Seoul?" Seungkwan asked, looking up at the older male eating his lunch cutely. Tiny bites of everything but somehow still has his mouth full and cheeks puffing up.

"2 weeks ago. I had to settle down in my new home and get ready for school. So yeah, haven't had the time to reach out"

"I see, I thought you just moved back in with your family, that way we could hang out again" Soonyoung whined.

"We can, once I've settled down properly sometime later. Though I wonder, would you younglings even want to hang out with an oldie like me?" The teacher teased.

"Ayy, come on. You looked the same, since 5 years ago. Even Seokmin looks older than you" Seungkwan scoffed before getting into a debate with Seokmin. Wonwoo looks over to you, who has been eating your food silently, not engaging in any of their noisy banter.

"I heard Jisoo is teaching at the private school out of town?" He asked, gently seeking your attention. You just nodded, not sparing him any glances and he had to hold back a pout at your lack of interest in him.

It used to be so different, you would have given him your full attention before he even opened his mouth. But now, you wouldn't even spare him a glance.

"I'm heading back to class. I forgot to do the notes Ms. Jung told us last week. See you in class, Soonie" you retorted, standing up from your chair to leave.

"Didn't you finish the notes right after? You even let me copy it yesterday–" Soonyoung cuts himself off immediately upon seeing you throw him yet another dirty glare, stomping away immediately.

"Sorry, she's on her period. Mood swings" the boy chuckled, scratching at his nape sheepishly.

Wonwoo's eyes trailed your leaving form. Your shiny hair, the tight shirt that clung to your form, your skirt dancing in the slight breeze, your long legs, cute socks peeking from your shoes. 5 years of being away trying to move on has gone down the drain, at the mere sight of you, the beautiful you who is mad at him, the pretty you who owns his heart.

He can no longer deny it. He loves you. He's madly in love with you.

"Is it your mission to follow me around now?" You questioned, irritation obvious on your face as you eyed Wonwoo suspiciously. You were working part time at the local bookstore, the one the elderly couple owns. It was your favorite spot, the place has become your mini library since there's rarely any customers anyways. Wonwoo knew this place, he was the one who brought you here in the first place. So, it's not weird to see him hanging around you because to them, you guys have always been close since you were kids. And today, they left the store for you to handle in favor of going to visit their grandchildren who had just given birth.

"Because you're mad at me and you're avoiding me. I need to know why" he explained, eyes soft as he looked up at you from his sitting position on the bench in the back corner of the store.

"I'm working. You could have meet me sometime later"

"You won't meet me even if I try. So I had to come here"

He was right, you have been avoiding him except in class because there was no way to run and you needed the knowledge because you suck at Math. Other than that, you would have bolted somewhere else if you even saw just a tiny tuft of his fluffy hair poking somewhere.

"Tell me why you're mad?" He persuaded, right hand reaching out to curl around your smaller one.

"I don't know, ask yourself. You were the one who left without any notice. You could have told me and I would have waited for you. But then you decided to come back here, unnoticed. What am I supposed to do?" You grumbled, pulling your hand back, unable to stop your rambling as you focus your gaze on the books you need to stack.

Wonwoo stood up from the bench, towering over you, and you made yourself smaller, fitting your body in the corner, avoiding his stare.

"Have you ever thought that maybe because I'm a coward? That I might have fallen for you but I shouldn't do that because you're my brother's best friend and my best friend's sister" he says, leaning closer to you.

"So what if I am your brother's best friend? So what if I am your best friend's sister? Is there some kind of rule that says that people like that shouldn't date each other?" You countered, glaring up at him. Wonwoo was quite taken aback from what you said, so you continued.

"Plus, I'm not that naive enough to think that you'd like a kid like me. Now move, I have tons of books to stack by today" you pushed him aside to grab the books on the cart and began arranging them neatly on the shelf.

"What if I say you're my student? Someone I shouldn't have developed any feelings on. Someone I should have clear boundaries with?" He questioned.

"Then, why are you here Mr. Jeon? If you know you should have clear boundaries with me, you should have just ignored me instead of following me around like this," you challenged, turning around to look into his eyes again. It shocked Wonwoo to the core to see you so upfront like this. He forgot what he wanted to say when his eyes met the blaze in your orbs.

"If you need to know, you are a person to me first before you're a teacher to me. The person that I liked when I was 12. Now please go. I'm working, you're disturbing me" you sighed, pushing him backwards to stumble towards the door. Wonwoo was stunned, he didn't expect that you'd just confessed to him. That was his answer, you were mad because you liked him but he left you behind without any news.

"It's okay to be naive sometimes, Y/n-ah" he breathes, large hands grasping your wrist gently to stop you from pushing him away. You glared up at him again, a frown decorating your pretty face. You didn't say anything, but it's enough to know you're questioning his motives.

"It's okay to be naive, to think that I liked you. No, actually… I love you. I'm sorry for being a coward and running away," he confesses. Your frown deepens and it was obvious to him that you're not buying what he says.

"Stop playing with me, Mr Jeon. Is this some kind of hidden camera you planned with the guys?" You asked, looking around the store warily. He smiled at you, hands traveling up to cup your face before planting a soft kiss on your forehead.

"I'm not playing with you. I genuinely love you. My heart is about to burst out of my ribcage from nervousness, you know. You can listen and be the judge," he chuckled, pulling your smaller body into his arms, your head resting on his chest. It was true, his heartbeat was going frenzy. It feels warm, being in his embrace, surrounded by his scent. It makes you feel safe. You realized you miss this, you miss him. Slowly, you wrap your arms around him– clutching at the fabric of his cardigan.

"I don't know if I can trust you. You were the one who left me behind after all," you mumble into his chest, voice muffled by the fuzzy fabric. He chuckled, tightening the embrace.

"Let me make it up to you, okay?" He assured, kissing the crown of your hair affectionately. You let yourself be comforted by his warmth and steady breath. Loving how he feels around your figure, you nuzzle your face into his neck and let out a relieved exhale.

"Thank you for coming back," you whispered.

You were having a study sleepover with your besties at Wonwoo's house for the upcoming college entrance exam which will be held in 2 weeks.

It's already 2am and your friends are passed out on the couch and the carpet, leaving you alone still trying to answer one more question for the past hour. Wonwoo came back from his room with extra blankets and pillows to place over the scattered boys.

"It's late. You should rest and continue tomorrow," he says, kissing you on the cheeks. You pull back in surprise, afraid that your friends might see you but Wonwoo only smiles and kisses the tip of your nose.

"They're dead asleep, baby" he chuckles. You sighed, falling into his embrace, wrapping your arms around his neck. Your boyfriend tugs you closer to him until you're straddling his lap, wraps his arms around you securely, kissing your temple.

"You're working so hard. I'm so proud of you, baby. You didn't have to worry so much. You'll do just great. I believe in you" he assured, rocking you back and forth in a comforting manner. You hummed, loving the attention he showers you with.

"Let's get you to bed" he says, carrying you up to his bedroom. He took you to the attached bathroom first to let you do your nightly routine, before carrying you to bed and tucking you beneath the soft covers of his queen sized bed.

"Get some sleep, I'll sleep with the boys outside. Just call or come outside if you need me, okay?" He whispers, kissing your forehead and brushing your hair out of your face lovingly.

"Won't you cuddle me first?" You pouted as he moved to leave already.

"Don't act cute like that baby. I'm trying my best to be nice here" he grunted but relents when you bat your eyelashes at him. He slides under the cover with you, immediately tangling himself with you. An arm sliding under your head, another pulling you close by the waist. Your hazel orbs are shimmery from the moonlight that peeks through the curtain and he couldn't stop himself from leaning into you.

He places a soft peck onto your plush lips as if to test the waters. Diving right in when you close your eyes and lean into the kiss. The hand that was on your waist cupped your jaw to tilt your head so he could kiss you better, your lips meshing together in a passionate liplock. You pulled away to gasp for air and he chased you back, capturing your plush pillowy lips in a kiss because he couldn't get enough of you. He's addicted to your taste.

It wasn't long before he pushed you to lay on your back and hover over your small body, forearms bracketing your head. Your arms curling around his neck, nimble fingers playing with the hair on his nape. Your hearts are beating erratically in your chests, excitement thrilling through your veins making you feel as if time stopped and it's only you and him in this world. You love the feeling of being smothered in his scent, overloading your senses. You love the feeling of Wonwoo on top of you.

When Wonwoo pulled away, it's you who chased his soft lips this time. He smiled, resting his forehead on top of yours, breath heavy. You could see it in his beautiful obsidian, the way he looks at you with so much love in them. He doesn't need to spell it to you, because his eyes are already screaming 'I love you, Y/n'. It makes you overwhelmed, that tears start prickling at your waterlines. You pulled him down, flushed against you to hide your face in the crook of his neck.

"I love you"

...

"So, when do we stop acting like we're oblivious about how they're head over heels for each other?" Seungkwan scoffed under his breath, munching at the slightly burnt toast that you made (only because he absolutely loves you) giving his best bombastic side-eye at the two of you being giggly while cooking breakfast like a bunch of teenagers. The three of them are bunched together at the kitchen island, watching the couple being lovey-dovey in front of them.

"I'm actually hurt that they don't trust us enough to tell us the truth," Soonyoung commented, lathering more chocolate spread on his toast.

"I think they have their reasons. You know how timid my brother could be. Plus his position right now has so many disadvantages to him. It could ruin him" Seokmin added.

"Did you think Y/n could ruin him? Are you serious?" Seungkwan was about to throw hands when Seokmin looked at him, eyes serious.

"Not Y/n. Jisoo-hyung. You know how strict Jisoo-hyung could be"

The two went silent. Agreeing with what Seokmin said.

…

"Are you dating Y/n, hyung?" Seokmin asked as Wonwoo drove him from his apartment. He could see his brother froze for a while, knuckles gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"I could see how you look at her with hearts in your eyes, hyung. And she's not any different either" the younger added. He saw Wonwoo hesitated in the corner of his eyes and sighed.

"You know I'm fully on your side, right? I saw the way you looked at her with such adoration from the first time we met her. You've been in love with her for quite a while, right?"

"Seokmin-ah… I…" Wonwoo trailed, unsure how to continue his sentence, biting his lip in anxiousness. Seeing this, Seokmin sighed.

“Hyung, do you know how long I’ve been gatekeeping Y/n for you? Not just me though, both Seungkwan and Soonyoung did. Seungkwan literally chased away a guy who tried to confess to her. You don’t have to be scared, we knew that you’ve like each other since we were kids. And you don’t have to be scared about dating a student. We’ll protect you both until we graduate, only 3 months left. I just need you to trust us. Trust me. I’m on your side” Seokmin assured.

Wonwoo wasn’t able to say anything else after that. His tears kept flowing down his cheeks. He forgot how kind and caring his brother has been. He was honestly glad that at least he has Seokmin on his side in his ‘forbidden love tragedy’ with you.

“Thank you, Seokmin-ah. I really needed to hear that. I’ll see you at school tomorrow. Good luck for CSAT” Wonwoo thanked his brother after he safely parked in the driveway of their family home, wiping his tears with his sweater paws.

“Won’t you look at me or give me a hug though? Am I not your baby anymore?” the younger brother pouted, his arms wide opened for Wonwoo.

“Always my baby. Even until you’re 70” Wonwoo chuckled, pulling his brother towards him and ruffling his hair affectionately. Seokmin giggled happily, nuzzling his nose in his brother’s neck and he squeezed him a little bit tighter.

“Please remember that I am always on your side, hyung. I love you” Seokmin whispered.

The four of you finished CSAT, after struggling for so long, and finally has sometime to enjoy. The school will be holding a Christmas festival before the winter holiday started, so your friends prepared for a performance with Youngji included. They’re only a group of highschool seniors, but they managed to hype the crowd so much that it almost looked like its their concert.

“Y/N!! Come to the stage! Let’s dance!!” Seungkwan screamed from the stage. You laughed and only shook your head from your seat.

“Mr. Jeon! Join us!” Seokmin called, and Soonyoung immediately dragging the older man to the stage to dance with them. Wonwoo is surprisingly a good dancer, you never knew that and were impressed that he managed to keep up with the boys despite just seeing the choreography. He was smiling so shyly when the students cheer him on for a solo dance break.

Your eyes met his, and he blushed madly– tearing his gaze away. He complained that he’s too tired for hardcore dancing but continued to dance for them when the trio gave his their puppy eyes. Its cute, to see such scenes again after a long time of being apart and hiding beneath the student - teacher facade.

Wonwoo sang a song after that, it was a song that he and Seokmin frequently sing, a song you knew all too well– ‘It Must Have been Love’. The whole school went into uproar at the sound of his voice, it was so beautiful, fitting for a man as beautiful as him. It was deep but it’s also so soft that it touched your heart. Wonwoo’s fanclub is cheering madly, lining up at the front of the stage to get a closer look at the young teacher.

“Wow! Such a beautiful song and beautiful voice! Mr. Jeon, who hurt you that badly for you to sing this tearful song?” Mr. Yoon coos.

“Ah, no… I’m just singing it” Wonwoo answered timidly, a shy smile on his lips as he fleeted a glance towards where you were standing on the upper corridor of the school hall. He doesn’t notice it but his fangirls followed his gaze towards you and whispered amongst them.

“What a bad girl. Please be nice your boyfriend girlies, we have feelings too. Or else, all of us will end up heartbroken like Mr. Jeon here” Mr. Yoon tuts playfully, patting Wonwoo on the back. You on the other hand notices the glares his fangirls threw your way, but you pay them no mind. Your eyes met with Seungkwan, the latter just nodding along signalling you he got what you were thinking about.

It’s almost the end of school day when your instincts prove you right. You were dragged by a bunch of girls to the swimming pool– pushed to stand on the edge while the rest of them surrounded you. You knew why they deliberately chose to drag you here, out of all the places in the school, because this is the only place Wonwoo would not come into. The safest place to assault someone because of him, in the name of ‘protecting’ him. Plus, it’s winter right now and the pool is out of bounds for the students.

“Are you Mr. Jeon’s ex-girlfriend?” one of them asked. She was the supposed leader of the fanclub, a self-proclaimed fan of the Math teacher. You remained stoic, showing no emotions on your face.

“I knew you were childhood friends with his brother, Seokmin. but , you dared to flirt with him too? And even broke his heart? And now you’re dating his brother?” another voice condemned.

“What has all that information has anything to do with you guys?” you questioned, unbothered.

“Aren’t you being a bitch right now?! You hurt Mr. Jeon’s feelings and now you’re playing with his brother. You think we’ll let a girl like you get close with them? Who do you think you are?” the leader yelled.

“Damn girl, your voice,” you winces, glaring at her. You stood up straighter, raising one eyebrows in a challenging manner.

“Do you think Mr. Jeon would appreciate you harrassing his ‘ex’ like this behind his back? Do you actually think he’d thanked you guys for dealing with his ‘ex’ for him? At the place he fears the most? Stop being delusional” you scoffed.

“We don’t care what he thinks. We’re dealing with you here because you don’t deserve to be around them at all. Not a poor girl like you with no dad! Mr. Jeon and Seokmin are precious, someone as disgusting as you doesn’t deserve to hover around them. We’re protecting them!”

“You don’t care what he thinks and yet you say you’re protecting them? What a contradiction. How can you guys be so selfish? It’s embarrassing” you chuckled, sarcasm heavy in your tone.

“Who do you think you are, you rude bitch?!” the leader screamed in your face, tugging at the collar of your coat harshly.

“I’m his student, who actually cares about what he thinks unlike you guys” you spat, successfully irritating the girls more. You only managed to hear the door to the pool bursts open and a shout before you were thrown into the water, your heavy backpack and thick coat pulling you down even more. Shucking off your backpack to lessen the weight, then you tried to remove your heavy coat. But you realized you’ll be drowned even before you manage to unbutton the fabric.

“Seungkwan-ah!” you gasped, hanging off the edge of the pool. You noticed it was Mr. Yoon who was scolding the girls and no Wonwoo in sight.

“Gosh, what happened to you?” Seungkwan muttered angrily, hauling you out of the water like a fish caught. You panted, breathing heavily as you lay down on the edge, gulping as much air as you could.

“What happened here? This is a prohibited place during winter. Did the school not tell you that? You are seniors already,” Mr. Yoon scolded, looking between you and the groupies.

“I don’t have anything to say. I was dragged here without consent” you answered, trembling from the cold of the wet clothes. Soonyoung burst in through the door a second later, towels and your gym clothes in his hands.

“What happened? Seungkwan told me to bring you your gym clothes and towels here?” he rushed, panicked to see your state.

“Go change first, we’ll talk after that” Mr. Yoon ordered. Seungkwan pulled you up to stand on your feet, then helped you shrugged the heavy fabric off your shoulders– leaving you in your uniform. You trotted to the bathroom with spare clothes in hand.

“You’re lucky its close to graduation that these kind of things happened. Or else, I’m not sure what the principal will do with you. Y/n, go collect your things from the pool, the rest of you go straight home” Mr. Yoon sighed. You just nodded and walked away, fetching your stuff that the janitor had helped fished out of the pool. You thanked them, wished them a happy holiday and began dragging the wet stuff behind you.

You told Seungkwan and Soonyoung to go first since they had to run errands for their family and Seokmin has gone home with his brother. You’re glad that the brothers weren’t around when something like this happened, because to you, it’s embarrassing. To be bullied at this age, and because of something so ridiculous. You’re used to be mocked as poor girl without a dad, you can take it all and it wasn’t as bad before because Seungkwan and Soonyoung were always there to chase off anyone who dares to open their mouth to insult you. But now that Wonwoo is here, it became terribly worse, just because you have that ‘childhood friend’ connection with him.

You won’t tell him what happened today either, because you refused to make him worry and blame himself. Wonwoo doesn’t deserve that. So, when Wonwoo appeared in front of your door teary-eyed that night, you knew things are about to go down real bad.

“I’m in love with Y/n”

Jisoo, who had just came home that day for Christmas went silent. His smile fell and the air around them hangs heavy. Your mom was with them in the living room too, while you were out with your friends for Christmas shopping. Wonwoo, who was sitting on his knees kept his head low, eyes staring at his fists that were clenching the fabrics of his slacks tightly on his lap.

“What? I didn’t catch you” Jisoo questioned, trying to put a smile on his face again.

“I’m in love with Y/n. I’ve been dating her for almost 3 months. And, I know that I shouldn’t keep this from you because you are my best friend. I’m sorry, Jisoo” Wonwoo explained. A punch was thrown, and the younger guy ended up on the floor, clutching his bruised cheek.

“She’s a minor, you bastard! And your student! Are you crazy??? She’s my baby!” Jisoo yelled, throwing punches after punches until he ended up straddling Wonwoo’s torso and hit him continuously.

“Jisoo! Stop, you’re hurting him” his mom called out.

“I trusted you! And this is what you did to me? You’re sick! Going after my sister behind my back?!!” Jisoo yelled, still punching him– not caring about his mom's cries. His best friend laid there, just taking the hits given to him without any fights at all.

You ran back home after getting a call from your mother, saying your brother is livid and has been beating the living out of his best friend, with your best friends in tow. As soon as you opened the door, your heart broke at the sight of Wonwoo, bloodied and pliant under your brother who was still screaming at him and punching his face.

“JISOO! ENOUGH!” You screamed, pulling him back by his shoulder only for you to receive a punch on your face too, making you stumble back.

“Jisoo! What are you doing?! It’s your sister!” your mom screamed, rushing towards you to make sure you’re okay. You stood up quickly, pulling your brother off Wonwoo with all your might and threw him on the couch.

“Take Wonwoo away, Seokmin. Call an ambulance, make sure he’s okay” you say before Jisoo yanks your hair harshly.

“YOU’RE SIDING WITH HIM?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” he yelled in your face.

“I should be the one to ask that! What’s wrong with you? He’s your best friend” you shouted back, trying to get him to release you.

“I have no best friend who’s a sicko like him! And you shouldn’t be around someone like that!” he exclaimed, throwing you away harshly until your side hits the coffee table.

“I’m turning 18 in 2 weeks! I can do what I wish. You have no control over me” you argued, only to earn you a harsh slap to your left cheek, making you fall to the floor, your lips cracking from the impact. You wince in pain, but the stinging in your scalp is back when your hair is pulled harshly again, to make you look at your brother. His eyes are crazy right now, it scares you to the core. Your mom froze on her spot to see his son beating up his sister for being in a relationship with his best friend but at this point, she wasn’t so sure what was the reason behind this fight anymore.

She looked to her right, to your three best friends, who was busy tending to Wonwoo, while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Her eyes made contact with Soonyoung, who came up to her and pulled her into an embrace.

You didn’t realize how long had you been fighting with your brother, you feel lightheaded after bumping your head on the drawer when you’re struggling with Jisoo who went insane.

“I SENT YOU TO SCHOOL FOR YOU TO STUDY! NOT FOR YOU TO FLIRT WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKER! HOW MANY MORE BEATINGS SHOULD I GIVE YOU FOR YOU TO GET THAT IN YOUR STUPID BRAIN?!” another punch to your right cheek this time, before the weight on your body is pulled off of you.

Jisoo is being pulled away by police officers from what you could see with your blurry vision, Wonwoo being taken away into an ambulance with Seokmin following him. You saw Soonyoung who was patting your mom on the back to calm her crying, then you saw the phone clutched tightly in her hand. You heard Seungkwan calling for you from your side but your eyes locked with your mom's.

“I’m sorry, mom” you breathed before your vision turned black.

…

You opened your eyes three days later, in a hospital with only your mom with you. She looked sad and stressed. Her eyes are tired, there are bags under them. She told you that Seokmin, Seungkwan and Soonyoung had testified against Jisoo, for assaulting them and the judges are waiting for you to release his verdict.

“Are you sure you want to do this, mom? He’s your son” you say quietly, toying with your food. Your mom stayed silent, folding the towels and clothes into the cabinet as she tidied up your space.

“We can drop the charges and let him free, if you want. I mean, being in the prison must be hard for him–”

“And what? Let him hurt you again? He may be my son, but you are my daughter too. He went on about Wonwoo betraying his trust but he betrayed mine too! He hurt you behind my back. No, actually, this is my fault for always absent. For not being there for you, I was afraid that we wouldn’t get enough to eat to abandon your safety. You must have been so scared, my baby” your mother broke down. Her hands clutching at your shoulders tightly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry…”

“Let’s get you to testify, okay? He deserves a punishment” your mom sobbed, and you only nodded.

When she learned how long you had been beaten by Jisoo, your mother broke down.

At the age of eleven, you had to face your brother's wrath even though it was never your fault to begin with. You had shielded your friends from Jisoo's assault when they accidentally knocked over a plate one day when they came over. It started light, with just a cane but Jisoo eventually lost his control seeing how well you took the beatings.

Seungkwan had begged you to tell your mom and asked for help, but you refused because you solely believed that might hurt Jisoo. You believed that Jisoo had become like this because he's been exhausted and overworked since you came to live with them. So the only way to help him is to let him punish you.

But what you didn't know is that he became addicted with that power he had over you. He had someone he can lash out to when something goes wrong.

"He told me it was for my own good, it was my punishment for being naughty. So, I gladly accepted it and kept quiet," you said silently, not looking the police officer in the eyes. Your mother felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest, punching the air out of her lungs.

"What's the worst injury he inflicted on you?" The officer asked, jotting down on his notebook.

"I broke my arm once when I tried to cover myself. Twisted my ankle when he pushed me down two flights of stairs and hit my head on the dresser a couple times" you tried not to look at your mom, when she let out a shuddering breath, she was seated on the chair next to your bed, trying to hold back her tears from falling.

The police officer turned towards your mother with a grim expression coloring his face. You knew it wouldn't be good news, Jisoo might be prisoned for more than a year, if you're well averse about the law. The two adults walked out of the room, to talk amongst themselves and you found yourself reaching for your phone on the side table.

There was a text from Seokmin, saying he's there too in the hospital with Wonwoo but his parents won't let him see you due to the situation with Jisoo.

'But, they're not here now,' was all it took for you to make a mad dash towards the upper floors where Wonwoo's ward was located. You got a stern scolding from the nurse to be careful which you only apologized sheepishly and continued your journey.

You saw Seokmin standing in front of a door to a ward room, scrolling down at his phone, with a worried look on his face.

"Seokmin," you called out weakly, feeling your muscles burn from your sudden spree. He saw you and quickly rushed towards you to pull you into his embrace. Seokmin was crying, apologizing for not coming to you quickly.

"It's fine. There's nothing you can do. Your parents must have their reasons to not let me see you anymore" you say but he shook his head, pulling away to look at you with teary eyes and a pout on his pretty face.

"You know you'll always be my best friend right? I'll find a way to go see you after this, so don't be sad, okay? I'll bring Wonu too" he sobbed, unable to stop the tears streaming down his cheeks. He said that, but he's crying harder than you are. But, only because Seokmin is such a pure soul who is so sensitive about everything, and tends to cry easily, especially at other people's misery.

You followed the boy into the ward room to check on his brother, and your heart broke yet again at the sight of your boyfriend. His beautiful face was littered with red and purple bruises everywhere, lips cracked at the sides, cuts on his forehead and the underside of his brow.

"I'm sorry that I let this happen to you," you croaked, gently caressing his face with your knuckles. Wonwoo stirred in his sleep, brows furrowing. You reached for something in the pocket of your coat, something that you stuffed there in a rush to get home from shopping the other day.

It was a box of a silver bracelet that you bought for him. It wasn't really expensive, but you still worked your ass off for it. It was a simple silver bracelet, with a diamond shaped piece with his name and a cute cat as charms.

You put it on him, loving the way it dangles around his left wrist prettily. Seokmin was guarding the door, constantly checking his phone in case his parents decided to come back.

"I have to go now. I'll come back to you again, when the time is right, I promise. I love you so much" you sobbed, kissing the crown of his hair and forehead. Seokmin, who heard what you said, turned his head towards you so quickly he almost gave himself a whiplash, eyes widening in terror.

"What… What are you saying? You're talking like you want to go somewhere far. Like you won't see us again. What are you planning?!" He urged, panic lacing in his voice. He grabbed your arms, squeezing them tightly without meaning to and only stopped when you wince in pain.

"What are you planning? Don't go, don't go anywhere. You know none of this was your fault right? You couldn't have guessed he would do that to my brother, to his best friend! You did everything you could, Y/n, don't go" Seokmin pleaded, fat droplets of tears rolling down his face again. He's hiccuping now, from how bad he's sobbing, shaking your smaller form to listen to him.

You don't say anything, only smiling sadly at him which made him break down even more. You pulled him into a hug, rubbing circles on his back as he sobbed.

"I'm sorry, Seokmin. Please tell Seungkwan and Soonyoung too. I love you guys so much. Thank you for being my friends" you choked, voice breaking at the end.

Just like that, you disappeared from their life.

10 years later.

You arrived at the lobby for the engagement party that will be held on the garden rooftop of the hotel. Nervously, you stood in front of the large mirror to check your outfit and makeup. You were wearing a long, backless, black satin slip dress with cowl neck, and spaghetti straps. There's a slit up to your thigh, and you wore a pair of black pumps to match the dress, and a small clutch bag in your hand.

You haven't attended an engagement party in a while, much less one of your closest friends is the host so you're very nervous. You took a very long time to choose the outfit, until you thought black is the safest option, so you went with it.

Glancing at the mirror one last time, you sighed heavily before making way towards the elevator. It was early spring, still a bit chilly but the weather was so nice and the flowers started to bloom already, decorating the glass hall with beautiful colors.

Pushing open the heavy set of doors, your eyes met with the ones you haven't met in 10 years, one of your best friends, Seungkwan.

“You bitch, is that really you Hong Y/n?!” He screamed, gaining the attention of the small crowd who was already there. You cowered, not liking the attention, pressing your pointer finger on your lips to shut him up.

“Did you know how long I've been trying to find you?! You didn't even tell me you're leaving, you nasty piece of shit and now you're suddenly back?! How dare you, you bastard–” Seungkwan cursed before he practically bawled his eyes out right then and there.

“Seungkwan-ah, no! Not now, please, I'm sorry” you begged, pulling him into your arms trying to hold back your tears. You know you will cry tonight, the only reason you're putting on absolutely waterproof makeup tonight, but you still try not to cry, at least not this early into the party.

“I miss you, you piece of shit. How are you alive without me? Who reminded you to take all those vitamins if it's not me?! At least you're looking so snatched so I'm not gonna be ashamed to admit you as my best friend” He grumbled, pulling away to look at your face as fat tears still rolled down his eyes.

“It's you, I was reminded of your voice nagging me all the time, if I dared to skip my vitamins. Thank you for keeping me alive, even from far away” you laughed, wiping his tears with your thumbs. He rolled his eyes at you, while muttering a small “of course”.

“Come on, Soonyoung's with the DJ. He needs to see you” he said, tangling your arms together and navigating you through the hall to go meet Soonyoung. But, you bumped into someone you missed so dearly on the way there. The reason why you left South Korea in the first place to study abroad.

“Wonwoo-hyung! Y/nie is back! See!” Seungkwan chirped excitedly. Wonwoo was frozen in his spot, eyes wide open as saucers. He still looked dashing as always, in his black suit with black tie, hair slicked black neatly with black horn-rimmed glasses decorating his handsome face. His obsidian jewel met yours, there's flashes of emotions in them and you could even see them turned glassy before someone interrupted your moment.

“Wonu, who's this?” Someone asked, it was a woman's voice and you barely managed to hold your glare before turning towards the voice. She was standing close to Wonwoo's side, looking up at him before turning towards you, giving you once over.

“It's my best friend, Y/nie. Y/n, this is Yul-noona. Wonwoo-hyung’s… er…” Seungkwan trailed, looking everywhere until the lady connected the sentence.

“Future fiancée. I'm his future fiancée” she answered, holding out her hand for you to shake. A smile curls on her lips. You could see Wonwoo's jaw tightened, the look in his eyes hardened, like he didn't want to be there, as if he wished the ground would just open up and swallow him.

“I'm Hong Y/n. The old friend. Nice to meet you” you smiled, it was fake, but still a smile– shaking her hand. You swore you could see the hurt in the older man's eyes when you introduced yourself as the old friend, nothing more than that. She couldn't see this, but you know Wonwoo's hinting something towards you, he's letting you see the emotions in his eyes but there's nothing you can do.

Of course, you expected this. No one is willing to wait for someone that long. People are bound to get tired at some point. It wasn't Wonwoo's fault that he found someone to replace you. In fact, you dated some guys too, when you're trying to move on from him. But you broke it all off because it wasn't fair for them. But still, it still hurts like a bitch to see him with a woman that's not you. Wonwoo is making plans to have a family with a woman that's not you, and you couldn't do anything about it.

You excused yourself with Seungkwan in search of Soonyoung, and you could see the latter was babbling nonsense at the DJ who looked so done before the party even started. You laughed.

“Kwon Soonyoung!” Seungkwan called out, pointing towards you as soon as the said male turned towards him. Soonyoung visibly gasped, before jumping off the stage to make a dash towards you. He practically swept you off your feet as he twirled you around before embracing you in a tight hug.

“I miss you!! How the hell did you end up here, not that that matters because I'm so happy to see you again but how the hell?!!” he cried, pulling away, squishing your cheeks with both of his hands.

“I met her at a conference 2 years ago and have been in contact since then. So I invited her today,” a voice answered from behind Soonyoung. It was the soon-to-be groom himself, Seokmin.

“Minie~” you coo, moving to give him a hug too which he gladly accepted with tiny jumps.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! 2 YEARS?? AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL US?!” Seungkwan barked, pulling you away from Seokmin to nag at him, eyes blazing with betrayal.

“DID YOU NOT TRUST US TOO JUST LIKE HOW Y/NIE AND WONWOO-HYUNG KEPT THEIR RELATIONSHIP A SECRET FROM US 10 YEARS AGO?!” Soonyoung added. You flinched from their loud voices, and you could feel all eyes looking at you, including Wonwoo and Yul’s.

“Let's not do this here, I was just respecting Y/n’s decision. She wasn't ready to come back so I wanted to give her time” Seokmin reasoned. The two calmed down almost immediately, frown disappearing as they looked over your form and crowd over you to pull you into a hug.

The rest of the party went smoothly, it was fun. As it turns out, Seokmin's fiancée was your roommate back in college. She went back to Korea as soon as you graduated and you haven't had the chance to reconnect with her until now. You were really happy for them, because they really suit each other, and are so sickeningly in love. What a small world.

You were just sitting at your table, watching the couple dance to the slow beat of the song, while your other two rowdy friends were going around practically everywhere, hyping up the crowd.

“Can I sit next to you?” A voice asked and you just agreed without thinking, only to see that it was Wonwoo. You froze.

“They're still rowdy as always, aren't they?” He chuckled, trying to make a conversation with you. You just smiled and nodded.

“How are you doing? I haven't seen you in so long” he inquired, slowly swirling the glass of red wine in his hand.

“I'm fine. Just alive and breathing,” you say with a sigh. You couldn't understand why it hurts to talk to him again. Maybe because your heart still yearns for him but he doesn't reciprocate that.

You were the one who left him– your mind supplies helpfully.

“How are you?” You asked, wouldn't want to seem rude and uncaring. He was silent for a while before letting out a rather heavy exhale.

“To be honest, when you left, I wasn't myself. I went insane. I went crazy, I was mad. I cried every single day. I can't accept the fact that you left me. But then I remembered I was the one who left first. I remember Seokmin telling me how sad and heartbroken you were. Even at that time, it must have been very heartbreaking for you too, wasn't it?” Wonwoo said, his voice was soft and soothing and you missed it so bad. You were silent, so he continued.

“I'm sorry that I didn't notice you were in pain. I'm sorry that you had to go through all those painful moments alone. You were so small, but you're so strong at the same time. Seokmin told me that you protected me with your body that day too. Thank you, for being so brave, Y/n” he added, his voice faltering, dark eyes glimmering with unshed tears under the lights. He reached out to give your hand a squeeze, and immediately, droplets of tears fell on his knuckles when you looked down to see how easily he covered your smaller hand in his bigger ones.

Wonwoo almost wants to pull you towards him and give you kisses until you calmed down. You were whimpering sadly, like you're in pain but he had to settle with just squeezing your tiny hands for comfort.

“I'm going to the toilet, please excuse me” you stood up abruptly from your seat to leave the hall in search of a washroom. You left your clutch bag on the table so Wonwoo took it to bring it to you.

–

“Why are you doing this?! She's your sister!”

“It's not about my sister. It's about you! Stop dragging her into this!”

“What about me? Why can't you understand that I don't want him? I love you! And I know you do too,”

“No! Why are you settling for someone like me?! Wonwoo is a good guy, he can take good care of you, you two can be happy together–”

“We can't! We've tried this for almost a year, Jisoo. It won't work. Our hearts won't let us be together. I don't want him and he doesn't want me too. He loves someone else and you know that too!”

You froze when you heard Jisoo's name. You turned around to see Wonwoo behind you with your clutch in his hand. He had a sullen expression on his face. You turned back to confront the arguing pair, your eyes widened when you saw your brother.

“Y/n why– how are you here?” Jisoo stuttered, his eyes not believing what he saw in front of him.

“Why?” You asked., trying your hardest to stay calm despite your almost leaping out of your chest.

“Why what? What are you saying?” He questioned.

“Why did you say ‘why are you settling for someone like me’? What's wrong with you?” You retorted fist clenching at your sides to hide the fact that you're still shaking at the sight of your brother.

“Everything is wrong with me! You out of all people should know that. You didn't remember what I did to you? To your friends? To my best friend?” He asked.

“Mom told me you've been reflecting on yourself, going on therapies and you've been doing so well. So what's with you degrading yourself like this?” You gritted out. Jisoo was taken aback that you've been keeping up with him through your mom. He didn't think you'd care about him anymore after what he did to you. He thought you'd hate him.

“I don't deserve to be loved anymore after what I did to my baby sister, Y/n” he croaked, trying to hold back his tears.

“Who said that? These people know you're trying, I know. So what else matters?”

“Y/n…” Jisoo called, taking a step towards you which you responded by jumping back involuntarily, startled.

“You're still afraid of me,” he frowned.

“I- I do. But it doesn't mean that I hate you. I don't. And you're still my only brother. But give me some time to be able to be near you again. So don't do that, don't push the people who love you away. You've suffered enough” you rushed to answer. Jisoo's frown melted into a soft smile. His hand reached out to hold Yul’s, squeezing it softly.

“Do you still love him?” Jisoo asked you. You were silent for a bit and you could hear a breath hitched from behind you.

“I do. Even after all these years, all these mess and pains. I still love him very much. Even if I tried dating other guys, I only ended up breaking their hearts because I couldn't let him go. Even if he doesn't love me anymore, I still do” you breathed, the tears that had stopped a while ago coming back, wetting your cheeks.

Your brother stared at the person behind you, a soft and apologetic smile pursed on his face.

“You have your answer,” he said. Immediately, that person is intertwining his fingers with yours, tugging you along with him to who knows where. You arrived at the parking lot, and before you could comprehend anything, Wonwoo is shoving a helmet on your head, buckling it securely. He then zipped up a leather jacket around you that he stored under the seat of his big motorbike.

“Hop on,” he called out, staring at you with shiny and hopeful eyes but you're not entirely sure if your dress tonight is made for bike riding but who cares about that when you have gleaming kitten eyes in front of you.

Wonwoo made you wrap your arms around him securely after you finished tucking your skirt so the fabrics won't get caught in the rims.

“What the fuck!! Wonwoo, too fast!” You screamed as he zoomed away through the night, passing buildings and trees. You're not sure where he's taking you but you just got to trust him. You ended up in another parking lot, this time it was in an apartment complex.

It was somewhat familiar, maybe you have been here before but you’re not remembering it clearly. But then it came back to you in slow motions, as Wonwoo guided you through the hallway towards his apartment. He let you in as you took hesitant steps, removing your heels at the doorway as he shuffled inside, turning on the lights to illuminate the dark apartment. It was just as you remember, the change being he has more shelves now and there’s cat towers, box houses and playpens.

“I’m home,” he said and a bunch of furry little kids, three to be exact– surround him in an instant. They were all black. He immediately took a seat in the middle of the living room to let those kids hover around him, asking for attention. A curious little one sneaked on you, sniffing at your legs who was still standing awkwardly at the doorway. A thought appeared in your head and you looked at Wonwoo who only smiled as if he understood what you were thinking.

“Are they Mong’s family?” you asked, remembering the black cat that you picked up from the street on your way home from school back then.

“Yeah. One of them was her child. The other two, I adopted them 3 years ago,” he explained. You looked around, for a sign of Mong, thinking she might be sleeping or hiding as she’s a senior already.

“Mong had passed. Last week. She had missed you terribly ever since you left, barely survived when she was delivering, only one of her litters survived, who are looking at you right now. We stayed together comforting each other these whole time but I think she needed to rest now. I kept her ash after cremation in case you’d want to see her when you came back,” he says, standing up to take your hand and tug you towards the glass shelf next to his TV. he showed you the small urn that kept your beloved pet’s ashes and the small memorial space he made for her.

“I’m sorry I was so late…” you croaked, choking up on your tears again.

“Since when have you become such a cry baby? My Y/n was very brave back then” he chuckled, teasing you as he pulled you into his warm embrace. You love the way he called you as ‘his’, your heart fluttering in your chest. Inhaling his musky scent, you let your head rest on his broad shoulder.

“It’s you. For me, it’s still you. The one for me, it’s still you. It has never changed, after all these time, no matter how far apart we are, for me it’s still you. Even when you weren’t here with me, the way I live resemble you. I was able to be brave because you taught me to, and that I knew you’ll come back, eventually. I won’t let you go anymore, not anymore, ever. I love you, Y/n. i love you very, very much. Will you please be mine again?”

He was hugging you so closely to his chest, letting you hear his frenzied heartbeat, large hands at the small of your back and one your nape. You were silent because you’re basking in his warmth but he mistook it for disagreement so he pulled away, to look at you, panic in his eyes.

“I’m sorry for proposing like this, I promise I’ll buy you rings, I’ll buy you a house, a car if that’s what you want, anything, can you please let me be yours again? I promise I’ll bring you a ring next time, tomorrow even! Please be mine–” he rambled, eyes looking everywhere until you squish his cheeks with your hands. His eyes blinked in confusion.

“Nonu, calm down!” you laughed softly at his panicked state, your eyes crinkling. Thumbs gently caressing his handsome face as you stared at him. Wonwoo calmed down when he saw the look in your eyes.

He realized you weren’t planning to go anywhere anymore, that you're right there, in front of him, ready to listen to whatever he has to say. Not moving even an inch away from his hold. You're there, with him, at last.

The dam to his waterlines broke, clear droplets streaming down like waterfalls. The relief washing his form to know that you're finally there, in his arms is beyond his imagination. He couldn't utter how happy he is at the moment, how grateful he felt.

“It's still you” he choked out, pulling you flush against him, face hiding in the crook of your neck. Hands resting on your hips, he let out shuddered breaths, before wrapping his arms tighter around your torso, engulfing you fully in his warmth. You curled your own set of arms around his neck, fingers playing with his hair on his nape while your other hand patted his back comfortingly.

“It's still you for me too. I love you, Wonu. I'm all yours. Has always been and will always be,” you whispered into his ears. He pulled away again to stare at you, your eyes twinkling under the dim lighting of his living room. You wipe away his tears with your thumb, cooing at how cute he looked, like a lost kitten and he pouted, before a smile crawling across his features again. He nuzzled his nose with yours, slowly leaning and capturing your lips in a soft kiss, sealing the vow of love you shared.

He misses this, misses your touch and your lingering scent floating around him, burning his skin. Before he could deepen the kiss, you pulled away in a hurry, scrambling to find your clutch bag that you've forgotten.

“What's wrong?” He asked, tone heavy with concern as he eyes your form crouching down on the floor to pull something out of the bag. His eyes widened when he saw a black velvet box with matching rings in it. The design was simple and elegant but he could tell how much thought you put into it. To say he was impressed was an understatement, because it was beyond that. You never fail to amaze him.

“I did say I'll come back to you again when the time is right. So, I've been preparing these for almost a year and got this custom made to our sizes and designed it according to our preference. But you were planning to get engaged with someone else?! I almost threw it in your face!” you say before ended up grumbling cutely at him, a pout on your lips.

He laughed at you, no wonder you were trying so hard not to glare at Yul when she came to him earlier. Instead of being disappointed, you were actually mad that someone tried to take him away from you. This side of you has always been amusing to him.

“Why are you laughing? Did you not see how close she was standing next to you? Are you sure you deserve this? Or, I will return it to the store later–”

“We love each other right? We just sealed our vows with a kiss. Am I not the rightful lover of yours? I wanna be yours, so you should put a mark on me so that today's incident won't happen again. If it did, you can just give them your hardest glare, babe. You looked so hot earlier,” he snickered, arms coiling around your waist.

“Are you playing with me right now?” You eyed him suspiciously. He grinned lopsidedly, before shaking his head, then planting kisses all over your face.

“I'm all yours, baby. But, I'll buy us our rings next time. I can't let my baby be my provider even though I know you're more than able to afford it now. But, give me my chance to pamper you like a spoilt princess you deserve to be” he coos. You finally laugh, finding it ridiculous how you're all tears earlier and all of sudden, bickering like you used to be out of jealousy and adoration. He smiles when you slide the ring onto his ring finger and he does the same to you, ending it with a kiss to your ring finger.

You kissed again, passionately this time, with a promise to stay together through life, never running away from each other again. Promising to still be each other's lover until the end of time.

-Fin-

[feralchaton]

I am a private person. I also believe that joy, like misery, loves company but it definitely throws better parties. Along with keeping much of me and mine to myself; I usually don't 'allow' myself to get excited. But. I am over the moon, bouncing off the walls, can barely contain myself excited/ happy/ elated at finally having our wedding.

The cute part of the story is that this was originally planned for 2015. The date would have been 11/11/15. In previous years, I was told that pregnancy would be next to impossible for me, and I was okay with that. Our son's birthday is about a week after that date. I'm more thankful for him. I also appreciate how, over that time, our guest list has gone from close to 250 to less than 10. Happily so, no fuss, just us.

I'm finally (officially) marrying my best friend!!! The one who let me know love at first sight is not only possible but very real. The one who taught & showed me what unconditional means and stood, stands, beside me as I consciously separate and navigate from all things conditional and toxic.

The trials and tribulations have been many, and we grew closer and stronger together not only through difficult times but the many good and great ones, too.

We see each other, meet each other where we are, and choose each other while choosing to keep going and keep growing. We are partners in every sense and yet wonderfully individual and separate, still finding ways to surprise one another. We do not tolerate each other's differences; we celebrate them. We don't hide our anger or misgivings; we talk and work through things together. We match, fit, and click in close to every way possible.

I can't imagine what has been close to the equivalent of half my lifetime spent with him any other way. Many remark on how lucky he is, but it takes two, and he helps me feel like a four leaf clover dancing on a rainbow each and every day.

"Monday for health, Tuesday for wealth, Wednesday best of all, Thursday for losses, Friday for crosses, Saturday, no luck at all"

Tying the knot (literally) 🍾🥂💐✨️🫶🏼💖🤭🥳💌

[enam3l]

rockstar eddie munson does halloween pt. 2

aka the year eddie had to start banning certain costumes

you can read rockstar eddie does halloween pt. 1 HERE

you can read all the rockstar eddie munson stories and lore at #enam3ls rockstar eddie

ok i got so carried away! but i wanted to do my first real smut. although i am sorry that all my smut is romantic, i can't help it! 4k words / cw: smut, NSFW, breeding kink, p in v, unprotected sex, MDNI

Catwoman. It was all catwomans fault. This was your fourth Halloween spent with Eddie and your annual arrangements were well established. The closest weekend to the 31st was when the gang would all go to Steve's for his annual Halloween party and you and Eddie of course had a matching couples costume. This year was no different, Catwoman and Slam Bradley were the chosen duo. Whilst Batman had been the obvious choice for Catwoman's counterpart, tights and a cape just wasn't quite Eddie's look. Slam Bradley who was a rogue hardknock with a detest of the police and corruption however was right up Eddie's street. Plus it meant seeing your man in a suit which was a far too rare occurrence for how good Eddie looked in them.

In your defence, you'd argue Eddie knew exactly what he was doing by choosing a character that allowed him to look rough and sexy whilst also in a suit. He knew exactly the way you'd look at him, your pupils dilated, your breath hitched and the way you'd cling to him, making any excuse to touch him. He knew because everytime he'd worn one in your presence, you'd done all of those things and repeatedly had to be reminded you were both in public - which actually didn't bother Eddie but he thought you wouldn't be pleased if paparazzi caught you feeling his ass cheeks in his perfectly fitted suit pants.

:readmore:

This year however, you weren't going to be able to have your usual road trip together up to Steve's. Corroded Coffin had a gig on the Friday and you had work commitments that you just couldn't avoid. Resulting in you and Eddie being separated for a week before you could be reunited at Steve's party. This also meant whilst you knew what characters you were, your actual costumes were going to be a surprise. You'd decided to base your Catwoman off Julie Newmar's, you'd always loved her sixties hair and make up and Eddie had made no secret about believing she was the hottest Catwoman so far.

When Saturday came round you could hardly wait to be reunited with Eddie, you hadn't been separated that long for years. You'd travelled down after work on Friday to Steve's and Eddie was to arrive on Saturday evening just in time for the party. The house was perfectly set up, the open planned kitchen and living area dark except for coloured disco lights and filled with extravagant decorations most of which you and Eddie had crafted. Jonathan and Argyle had taken full advantage of Steve's expensive speaker system to set up a whole DJ booth. You, Nancy and Robin had pretended to be witches brewing potions whilst you made a variety of cocktails to fill cauldrons. Dustin had already become too excited for the evening and had knocked over two of the cauldrons so a quick trip to the shop was now in order after you'd gotten ready.

Robin Nancy and Max had let out raucous wolf whistles at your finished look when you left the bathroom. You batted at them giggling but you couldn't deny you were pleased how it had come out. Your hair was down with the front pushed back by a pair of cat ears, after plenty of practice from glamming up for red carpets, gigs and award shows for Corroded Coffin, you'd been able to perfectly capture the Julie Newmar sixties make up with dark eyeliner and thick lashes. In a vintage store you'd found a long golden necklace and a golden belt that hung tight and low on your hips. The only problem in putting your costume together had been sourcing a tight shiny jumpsuit like Julie wore so you'd compromised with a black latex mini dress with long sleeves. It cinched at your waist, complimented by the belt and bringing out your curves. You'd managed to find a pair of black pointy leather knee high boots too and then some elbow length gloves. Honestly, you were excited to see Eddie's face knowing he'd love seeing his favourite girl dresses as his favourite Catwoman.

Carefully, whilst slightly clinging onto Robin you went downstairs in order to go out to replenish the booze Dustin had thrown everywhere. Thankfully missing the sheepskin rug and saving you all a Dad lecture from Steve. Robin snatched the car keys out of your grasp, with a smirk and a smack to your ass which made a ridiculous sound against the latex.

'Sorry hon, those boots were not made for driving... but I think that outfit might get us a discount at least.'

Robin wasn't wrong. The man at the checkout had shamelessly hit on you and you missed having Eddie's large frame by your side to shield you and scare off creeps. By the time you pulled up to Steve's house the party had begun and you prayed Eddie had arrived. Steve appeared from round the back of the house, having heard the car from the garden. He hurried over to help you and Robin with the excessive amount of booze you'd bought as well as the giant marshmallows that Robin had insisted on last minute.

Turning his attention to you as his picked up some bags, Steve nodded his head towards the front door and said

'Y/N, lover boy arrived. Go through the front door. He's been sat there waiting for you since the moment he got here like a sad puppy.'

You couldn't help but squeal and practically skipped over, bundles of marshmallows in hand. The second you opened the door he was there. Stood waiting for you. The marshmallows flopped to the floor as you ran and leapt onto Eddie. Your arms curled over his neck, your legs wrapping around his waist as his hands instantly went to support you up. He smelt so good, more like home than any place you've ever lived. Cigarettes and honey and firewood and just a natural Eddieness that couldn't be bottled. As your nose had been buried into his neck, you realised how stiff his body felt against you. Confused, you let yourself drop down and he immediately retracted his touch.

You searched his face, his eyes burnt into you and his lips were pulled tight into a thin line. He looked furious and you had no idea why. Desperate to break the tension you pawed at the suit he wore, taking it in for the first time. It was a new one, a deep charcoal grey and tailored to his form perfectly. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone, the edges of some chest tattoos poking out and his tie was loosened. He looked effortlessly handsome, it was cruel really that after a whole week you now see him for the first time looking better than ever. Your try to avert your eyes from how the suit trousers gave you a generous outline of his cock that you'd missed you much.

Letting his tie slide between your fingers, you looked up at him admiringly and murmured

'Look so handsome, Eds. My beautiful boy.'

You were aching to get a smile out of him but instead he picked your fingers off him and then dropped your hand away.

Your face fell, you couldn't ignore this anymore. You were shocked that this was your greeting. As you opened your mouth to speak, you were stopped by Eddie holding a finger up to silence you.

In a stern voice he finally spoke 'Bathroom. Now.'

Smacking his sassy little finger away you marched off down the hall towards the downstairs bathroom hoping maybe following orders will at least give you answers.

Eddie is quick behind you, as soon as you enter he shuts and locks the door. He stands with his back to you, his arms stretched out bracing him on the door frame and his he let out a heavy sigh.

Now you really were baffled. Stood in the middle of Steve's beautiful big white marble bathroom, you felt small like a school girl in trouble.

Your looking down at your boots, clicking the pointed toes together anxiously as he turns around and in a clipped tone asks

'What. Are. You. Wearing.'

You raise your head now, mouth agape and completely indignant. Never has Eddie once attempted to control what you did or wore and never in a million years did you think he would. He was as creative and expressive as you, it's one of the things you loved about him.

But when you look into his eyes you realise they aren't angry, his pupils are completely blown out, they're lust filled.

Looking up at his handsome face, now strained with how tight his jaw is clenched, you bat the thick lashes you applied and stare at him innocently with big eyes. Your lip pouts out and you murmur

'I was trying to do Julie Newmar's Catwoman for you Eds, she's your favourite right?'

Momentarily a little softness spreads across Eddie's face, he loves how you remember every little detail about him. He steps slowly toward you now, somehow he feels taller than usual. One of his fingers now glides along the hem of the latex dress then stops, hooking under it and pulling it towards him. Then he lets it snap back, the fabric making a wet slap sound against your thigh. Leaning into your ear he whispers

'I don't remember Julie wearing such a tiny fuckin dress.'

Eddie lingers close as he lets his nose glide above your ear and into your hair, deeply inhaling the smell of you he's been deprived of for a week. You're desperate to touch him, to cover him in a weeks worth of kisses but you aren't sure what game he's playing for if he is playing a game.

Shyly you stutter 'D-do you not like it...'

He hooks his calloused fingers now through the gold belt to pull you closer by your hips and his presses his forehead against yours. He inhales deeply again as he closes his eyes and quietly admits

'Baby...my baby girl. I like it too much.'

A breath you feel you've been holding for the past ten minutes finally leaves you and you move your head up so your noses are touching. You rub your noses against each other as you admit

'Eddie, you scared me. I thought I was in trouble. Thought you were angry to see me.'

Finally he pecks a small kiss to your lips. You frown it's not enough. He smirks

'Oh no. You are in trouble missus'

Another peck.

His hands now start to glide over your body, as if making sure you're still the same as when he left you.

'Very bad.' Peck.

'Cruel even' peck.

'To greet me for the first time in a week' peck. 'In the sexiest outfit I've ever seen' peck.

'At Steve's' peck.

'Not our home' peck, peck.

'Where I can't throw you over my shoulder' peck, peck, peck.

'And hide a way with you in this fucking outfit for another week'

You've caved by this point. Arms thrown around his neck as your lips desperately crash into his. All the longing from your time apart, mixed with the tension he'd just built all being put into it. Your tongues reunite as both your hands get tangle through the others hair.

You begin to suck Eddie's bottom lip and he groans into your mouth, responding with a harsh spank against the latex covering your ass.

Pulling away now to take you all in, a cheeky smile spreads across his face

'I think I like this material babe, think I gotta buy you a whole new wardrobe of it.' He takes one of your gloved hands and stretches your arm infront of him. Removing the glove and tossing it aside, he runs his thumb over your knuckles.

You both gaze at each other, feeling complete now you're able to touch and see the other.

Eddie begins to plant delicate kisses up your arm.

It's hard not to swoon over how sickeningly tender and romantic he can be.

'Missed you so much Eds, didn't feel complete without you. Hated how cold and empty our bed was without you there.'

He nods as his kisses reach your shoulder and go across your collar bone. He plants one big kiss along with a gentle suck at your throat and a small moan escapes your lips.

'I know baby girl. I can't sleep without you now, barely slept the whole week. Can't function without my love beside me.'

A wet but passionate kiss is shared between both your lips now and you smile against each others mouths.

Eddie continues his trail of kisses now down your sternum, his hands coming up to run thumbs over your nipples. Gently tugging at them as they begin to peak through the latex. Then he moves down to your stomach, his hands pressing gently against your abdomen where he knows he'll feel his cock poke at deep inside you later. Then his lips reach your pelvis. A flurry of kisses are placed there as his hands use your ass to push you forward into his face.

His calloused fingers then sneak underneath your dress, squeezing your ass cheeks the gliding round. He looks up at you to ask for permission to lift the dress. You can only smile at his big brown eyes and nod, your hands stroking his hair.

Eddie rolls the right dress up. Revealing a pair of black mesh panties. The transparency revealing your nearly trimmed pubes. He presses his face in, inhaling deeply.

'You... your smell. God, it's like a drug. Nothing soothes me more'.

You ruffle his hair and laugh at his dramatics.

He gives your pussy a little spank then for teasing him.

'Don't laugh babe! I had my sweatshirt you wear and a pair of your panties in the hotel bed with me. It's calming. Your actual perfume and ... your natural perfume.'

A giggle escapes you as Eddie sits there on his needs in front of you. His chin pressed to your pelvis and he gazes at you with the most beautiful and loving eyes you've ever seen. The way he worships you and the love he makes you feel is overwhelming, something you didn't think existed beyond books.

Eddie feels the same. The way you look at him like he hung the moon and the stars. The way you love him unconditionally for who he is. He's going to marry you one day. He's known that for a while now. The week apart just made it clearer than ever. Especially when he found an antique jewellers near the venue. He's actually glad you were out when he arrived, it gave him time to pass the ring onto Steve for safe keeping.

Suddenly, you can't take it anymore. Your hands grip at his tie to drag up back up and your lips crash to his. Against his mouth you desperately whine

'Need us to be together now, Eds.'

He chuckles against your lips

'Yeah, we are back together now baby girl, it's okay.'

You shake your head, he's not understanding. Your hands stroke along his hard cock, more prominent than ever in the tight suit pants. Yeah, you're glad he didn't debut this new suit at an awards show again.

'No, Edward. Need you inside me.'

The full name alerts Eddie to your desperation. He's quick to rejoin your lips, letting your tongues tangle in each other as he brings your thighs round his waist. Your thighs feel the cool marble counter underneath as Eddie places you on top, slotting between your open legs. Both of you ravenously rub and grab the other. Your hand continues to massage Eddie's rigid cock as another desperately tries to undo the trousers separating you from your prize.

Eddie's thumb presses hard against your clit, circles massaged round the nub. His fingers rub and toy with your entrance. Your wetness exposing your desire as it seeps out and soaks the mesh of your underwear.

Gasps and moans fill the bathroom, neither of you able to form a sentence to ask the other to move on to the next stage. Until finally, a breathy 'Please... Eds' escapes.

Usually insistent on hearing you ask properly, Eddie too understands the urgency and immediately pulls your soaked underwear down your legs, precariously hanging off the tip of one boot. He leans back as he watches you finally release his begging cock. Throbbing with torment and already seeping a weeks worth of cum that had been waiting for you.

His eyes prick with tears as you break the charged moment but bringing your fingertips to your mouth, kissing them and then placing that kiss on the tip of his cock. A guttural 'Fuuuckkk' breaks from his mouth as you then lap the precum off your fingertips.

He grasps at his cock, pumping slightly as the pair of you watch as he aligns with your painfully empty hole. Once the tip enters and his length slowly reunites with your walls, both your eyes meet, his hands caressing your face and your hands squeezing his. An overwhelming sense of love and lust is understood between you.

Eddie begins to pump into you, your pussy contracting along its length. Your bodies feeling complete now the two of you are joined. The pair of you watch again as his thick cock slides in and out of your little hole. His hole. Every bit of you is his and every bit of him is yours. You belong together.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders pull him closer so you can kiss and lap at his neck. Once your lips are near his ear you whisper

'Yours.'

It's understood. Eddie presses his forehead to your shoulder, his balls twitching at your love.

'Yours,' Eddie whispers back in agreement.

You're both close, the result of a week without release.

Eddie pulls at your hips now, he's moving you.

'I need you to see yourself,' he admits 'I need you to see how beautiful you are. Need you t'see why I couldn't control myself before.'

He brings you down off the top and turns you round so you face the big mirror above. Your dress above your ass, he has you bent over the counter, his cock still deep inside. You watch yourselves in the mirror as Eddie brushes your hair back over your shoulder and then points at your reflection'

'That,' he kisses the back of your head 'is the love of my life.'

His words are like bliss. Through a sniffle you beg 'Eds, make me cum please, my pretty boy.'

He daren't refuse you, pushing you down a little further over the surface, he slides one arm around your stomach so he can rub your clit.

You're both desperate now. And his pace quickens. Eddie is pummelling your poor pussy. You moan between each slap of his heavy balls against you

'You're. Mine. Forever. Eddie.'

He keens at your words, the knowing he's going to ask you to make that official driving him further towards an earth shattering orgasm. He presses his arm tighter to you now so he can circle your clit harder. His forearm against your abdomen proves his earlier theory correct, he can feel his big cock poking deep inside you.

You're gasping now, your pussy beginning to spasm and your clit throbbing on the cusp of release. You make sure to look at him through the mirror as you do. As your orgasm hits, it's intensified by staring into the chocolate eyes you love so much. You're practically dizzy as you moan his name and a series of 'I love yous.'

Through your drooping eyelids you can see in Eddie's face that he's about to cum too. His thrusts are hard and frantic as he chases the finish. You grab his arms and trap him against you so he can't escape.

'Inside,' you beg 'need your cum inside me, my love. Remind my pussy who owns it.'

This pushes him over. Eddie's cock spasms, hot cum filling you as his teeth bite at your shoulder.

Despite you being on the pill, each time he finishes inside you, there's an unspoken (or sometimes very spoken about) understanding that you both secretly hope he's just filled you with his baby.

As he catches his breath you slide slowly back and forth, milking every drop out of him. Making sure no bit is wasted.

You're about to begin your post sex ritual of telling each other sickly sweet things when the bathroom door flies open.

Both yours and Eddie's snap round as Steve's eye's widen in horror.

'OH MY CHRIST! YOU GUYS!' Steve shrills.

Eddie throws himself forward to cover your exposed backside, suddenly very aware his cock is still inside you and if he were to pull out Steve would be witness to his cum dripping out of you.

Your face is red and buried in your arms.

'Poor form! Not in my bathroom!' Steve although blinded by his arm, he turns to look at address both of you, 'I want you fully clothed and out this room immediately.' He tuts as he backs away and shuts the door.

A wild cackle erupts from Eddie, his body shaking your mortified one.

'Oh baby... I'm sorry but getting caught was worth it if I could have you in that costume.'

You groan whilst trying not to smile.

Eddie pulls himself out of you carefully and then cups his hand over your pussy.

He bends over to pull up your underwear with the other.

'Put these back on so you can keep me inside you.'

He pats your soaked underwear once he's put them back on you, then gives your ass a smack.

'Keep those pants on all night, okay baby? Taking those with me on the next trip.'

As you pull your dress back down you fake gag at him,

'Eddie Munson, you nasty little perv.'

He doesn't care, he loves it, he loves you.

He wraps his arm around you as he waddles with you towards the door to face Steve's wrath.

'Never used to be this way babe, it's you. You made me feral. Can't get enough.'

Once you exit the bathroom you're met with Steve standing with his arms crossed and an unamused look on his face. He does not care for how shameless and loved up the pair of you are right now considering he just caught you fucking like rabbits in his guest bathroom.

You shrug and bat your lashes at him,

'Sorry Stevie, we can't help it. We're in love.' You can feel Eddie's smile against your face. Steve shakes his head,

'Disgusting perverts, the pair of you. Ruining my bloody party... you belong together,' Steve says the last part with a knowing look to Eddie. Eddie's eyes widen, hoping you didn't catch on. To distract you, Steve shoos you along until you reach the stairs that stand at the edge of the living room where the gang are partying.

Pointing to them, Steve orders 'you're going to sit there on the bottom step. It's a time out. You're in horny jail. No party for you two until you think about what you've done'

Sniggering, you and Eddie take your seats on the stair. Steve pushes you two further apart as if you were about to have round two on the stairs in front of your friends. As he begins to walk of, he turns back around 'And... you're disinfecting that bathroom before you leave tomorrow.'

Like naughty kids, you and Eddie both salute and Steve who just huffs at your attitudes. 'Yes Papa Steve!' You both mockingly call after him.

After a moment Eddie reaches over to take your hand, your fingers intertwine and sit in the enforced space between you. One of Eddie's finger gently strokes back and forth over your ring finger.

You turn to him, taking in the face you've thought about all week, 'missed you so much Eds, never want to be without you again.'

He squeezes your hand, 'don't worry, you won't ever be.'

Bring your combined hands to your lips, you press a kiss to each of his knuckles. 'Oh... and Happy Halloween, Eddie.'

He smiles back at you 'happy Halloween baby girl...' he pauses and looks you up and down then smirks, 'and from now on, there will be no more costumes I've not checked beforehand. That should never have left our bedroom.'

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Eyes and Ears

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: An AU where Barbara finds Jason instead of Bruce.

It's March and Jason's fifteen in this chapter.

Chapters: 27/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon, Jim Gordon, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Sheila Haywood, Original Character(s)

Relationship(s): Jason Todd/Original Character(s), Past Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Older SIbling Barbara Gordon, Jason Todd-centric, Barbara Gordon is Oracle, Jason Todd is NOT Robin, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd Has a Crush, Adopted Siblings

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Spring Break

As the years went on, Barbara gifted Jason a computer of his own, and he took the PSAT's for the first time. To celebrate his results, Jim allowed Jason to go up to Metropolis with his friends. "Got your—." Barbara pointed to her ear to see if Jason had comms with him. Jason nodded. "Heated blanket? Extra socks? Phone charger? Kryptonite? Headphones?"

"Whoa! Hold on, Kryptonite? Why would I need Kryptonite? I'm not meeting Superman, and if I was gonna meet Superman, I definitely wouldn't want to attack him," Jason chuckled. Barbara smiled.

"Just keeping you on your toes," Barbara replied as she opened her arms and hugged him. "You're so grown up. I can't believe you're gonna be sixteen this year!"

"Barb?" Jason whispered.

"Yeah?" she answered, feeling a little more emotional than she was used to.

"You're cutting off my air supply," Jason strained, and she let go and punched his shoulder. "And I'm not that grown up. It's just my PSAT score. Next year is when I get to take the real thing. I think by then, I'll be all caught up with you."

"Don't act like you aren't excited about this trip," Barbara teased. Jason chuckled.

"I am excited... It's the first time I've ever left Gotham. I hate that I was too scared to do Lenaea this year... But maybe that was a good thing. That's a little too far too soon, don't you think?" Jason asked. Barbara pouted playfully. "I'm asking the wrong person. You think I'm old enough to go across the country for a school trip but not old enough to work under your supervision." She pinched his cheek.

"Your chances of dying in Oregon would've been low. Let's leave it there for now," Barbara replied.

"For now?" Jason asked.

"We'll see how you do on your driver's test on your birthday," Barbara whispered as she straightened out his jacket. Jason grabbed her hands.

"Babs, you're joking... You're kidding, right?" Jason asked. Barbara shook her head, and he embraced her.

"Okay, now go put your shoes on. Mr. Polishuk and Number Five will be here any minute," Barbara smiled.

"Oh, you're not gonna believe this. Reese and A.J. like this one. Her name's Emma... And get this, I found out she's having a girl," Jason replied, "But that's a secret. She told me on accident at A.J.'s birthday party. I haven't told Reese or A.J. or Dad, just you." Barbara messed up his hair.

"How is A.J.?" Barbara asked.

"Oh, he's good. He and Mason are going out," Jason replied, "But that's also a secret because Reese and Mason are mad at each other."

"Look at you, the keeper of secrets," Barbara teased. Jason shrugged playfully as the doorbell rang.

"I got it! I got it!" Jim yelled. Jason waved at Barbara as he took his suitcase to the living room and slipped on his shoes. Jason smiled and stood next to Jim for a moment before embracing him. "Be good, okay?" Jason smiled and nodded.

"Love you, Dad. I'll see you Saturday, and I swear I'll take tons of pictures," Jason promised. Jason waved one last time as he followed the Polishuks down to their van. Once they were on the freeway, all the kids started to talk amongst themselves, except Reese, who went straight to sleep.

"Do you think it's finally gonna happen?" A.J. asked Jason.

Jason's ears grew hot, and he shook his head. "Oh, I dunno. I know it's weird that I still haven't kissed him, but it's like every time we go in for a kiss, something horrible happens. Remember at the beach I tried to kiss him, and my nose started bleeding? Or when he went in to kiss me at the spring carnival and threw up over my shoulder? I think we're doomed to never kiss," Jason replied. Reese started to snore, and A.J. laughed.

"You're waiting for a perfect moment, and with Reese, that's never gonna come. He had his first kiss in seventh grade—."

Reese stretched out. "Ignore that. I'm gonna kiss you when we get to the Daily Planet. I've already decided," Reese smiled with his eyes closed. Jason turned to give Reese a peck on the cheek just as Reese turned his head, and they kissed. Jason let out a scream. Everyone else shrieked in surprise.

"What are you screaming for?" Casey yelled as she tried to calm herself back down.

A.J. laughed so hard he started to cry. "The irony," A.J. laughed.

Jason pulled his shirt up to his forehead out of embarrassment. "Please unlock the doors so I can end it all," Jason groaned. Reese held back a laugh as he tried to get Jason to show his face.

"It wasn't bad. I definitely have to say it was worth the wait even if it was an accident," Reese reassured him. Jason revealed his face, and Reese kissed him on the cheek.

They all went back to talking and laughing before the boys drifted off to sleep. The girls continued to talk to each other in the very back of the car. Jason was in and out of sleep for most of the ride there, and he finally awakened to look out the window. "Are we there?" Jason asked. Mr. Polishuk chuckled.

"We're there," he answered. Mr. Polishuk pulled into the parking lot of the hotel. Reese and A.J. woke up and elbowed each other playfully. "Come on, kids. Let's get settled in, and then I'll let you all go."

Everyone piled out of the car and got their bags, and Reese dropped everything to help Emma get her things. Mr. Polishuk went ahead of them to get checked in, and he came back with the keys. She smiled and whispered something to him, and Reese smiled. "Love you too, Emma," Reese replied as he carried both his bags and hers up to their hotel rooms. They all put their bags in the rooms, and they promised Emma and Mr. Polishuk they'd be back before dinnertime. Jason went with Reese straight to the park and hung around eating hot dogs and waiting for a Superman sighting.

"Jason, do you think we'll still be together when we're in our twenties?" Reese asked.

"I think so... But we don't have to worry about that now. That's years from now," Jason replied, "What'd you get on yours?" Jason pointed to the hot dog Reese had.

"Wanna try?" Reese asked as he held it up to Jason's face, and Jason took a bite.

"Mm!" Jason exclaimed as he finished chewing and went in for another bite. "Is that ham? On a hot dog?"

Reese kissed Jason's cheek and went to get two more of the same hot dog. "You should consider entering the school hot dog eating contest this year," Reese teased as Jason took a sip of water.

"Are the hot dogs any good?" Jason asked. Reese laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, they're delicious. Kind of plain, though," Reese replied. Jason started on another one.

"What does the winner get?" Jason asked.

"It's for charity, so it's like one hundred a hot dog for the charity of your choice, and like at the pep rally, a person in a hot dog suit gives you a sash and a crown," Reese laughed.

"Oh yeah, how could I forget the prestigious hot dog coronation," Jason grinned, "Hm... Maybe I'll do it."

"How many hot dogs can you eat? Like realistically speaking," Reese asked. Jason finished chewing before he looked over at Reese.

"Like in one sitting, I'd say maybe like nine if I was on an empty stomach and they were plain. I could probably hold down ten and a half, but no more than that," Jason answered casually.

"Where does the food go?" Reese teased.

"Shut up," Jason laughed. Reese snuck a bite. They both sat and talked until they finished eating, and they got up and walked to the bus stop. Jason checked his phone.

The bus hit a bump in the road, and Reese stumbled a little. Jason looked up from his phone and placed a steadying hand on Reese's arm. "Thanks," Reese whispered, "What's going on?"

"Oh, it's nothing serious right now," Jason whispered. Reese kissed the top of Jason's head. "It's just a dead end."

"Are you still looking for your mom?" Reese asked. Jason nodded.

"Yeah, but it's not looking good. Every time I think I've found my mom, it ends up being a dead end. I try not to look for her too much," Jason whispered.

"Why? Don't you wanna find her?" Reese asked.

"I don't know," Jason replied.

[billpottsismygf]

I've been stewing a little over the last few days about the news regarding the Doctor Who airing times and, although there's been a lot of discourse and probably everything has been said already, I just need to get my rant out there anyway.

For the uninitiated or the unsure, the brief rundown is that new episodes will drop online at the same time worldwide before the BBC 1 broadcast. This will be Fridays 7pm US time (EST I think) and Saturdays midnight in the UK. There will also be the usual Saturday evening broadcast on BBC 1, 18 or 19 hours later. Also, the premiere (10th/11th May) will drop the first two episodes of the series at once.

Simultaneous broadcast is pretty cool, and I believe the 60th specials dropped at the same time as the UK evening broadcast, giving an afternoon time for the US. That's great, but it's really messing with me that this new system completely shafts the UK in terms of viewing times. I'm not saying that only the UK has passionate fans, but I am saying that the UK is where Doctor Who is a cultural institution more so than anywhere else in the world, and seeing it prioritise the US is incredibly frustrating.

Moving to the specific fallout, there's the part of me that is upset on my own behalf, as my autistic self is really struggling with the notion that to watch the show ASAP I will now have to do so at midnight (on a Friday night too!). Since I was 9 in 2005, I have only twice gone to bed with a new episode unwatched. Occasionally that has been at stupid times in the early morning because I've been doing things for Saturday night, but generally I have watched the broadcast as much as possible, and often with other people as a community event. As a child it was always with my dad; as an adult it's often with friends!

Ultimately, though, I'll be fine. I'll watch by myself on iplayer at midnight because I am an adult who can make these choices, even if I'm sad that I probably won't get to have the viewing parties I had started to have with friends in recent years. (Though, who knows, we all have weird sleep schedules. Maybe midnight viewing parties are still on the cards.)

However, for all the kids out there I am so incredibly annoyed. I can't imagine if any of the iconic episodes from my childhood had aired the night before and I'd been unable to stay up for them. Blink? The Stolen Earth? Doomsday? I don't wish to overstate the matter, but I truly believe Doctor Who has remained such a cultural institution precisely because of its status as a family show. People are raised on it and then raise their kids on it and so on.

What are kids going to do now? Some might be allowed to stay up for the midnight release, though not many, especially for that double release which will end at like 1:30am. Others might watch it when they get up, but likely without the community aspect of the whole family sitting down for it. Still others might wait for the Saturday evening broadcast, having to dodge spoilers from other kids and adults as they go about whatever Saturday activities they have.

Regarding spoilers, I've seen some snarky comments saying 'just avoid social media lol', but firstly that's quite difficult in this day and age, and secondly it's not just social media. For one, there are all the tabloids that will plaster any new details across the front page, but also I can vividly remember talking about the brand new Doctor Who episodes at school, and how big an aspect that was of the community excitement. My teacher even did an impression of a weeping angel the week Blink aired, moving closer with a scary face when I looked away for a moment. Sure, there won't be school on a Saturday, but plenty of kids will be doing activities with other kids (dance classes, football, drama clubs etc.). What will happen when some kids have been allowed to watch the new episode and others haven't?

It may seem trivial to some, but I don't think it is. Where's the event aspect of it? Where's the community? Sure, I'm biased as an autistic Brit who grew up with the show and doesn't like change, but this new model seems designed to dilute both the excitement and importance of a new Doctor Who episode on a cultural level.

[alivegirlmari]

which skamiverse character do you think would fit in best with the Yellowjackets?

OKAY INSANE QUESTION. had to spend all weekend thinking. idk whether you meant who would best fit as in like, who would be friends with the team?? or who would just generally exist in the yj universe?? so i'm doing a bit of everything <3 long as fuck so under a read more.

mailin is, i believe, the only canon girl soccer player, so the most boring superficial answer ofc is that mailin is the best fit. however:

nora m. and lottie would be a bittersweet type of almost, i think, if they were ever in a group project together. one time everyone bails on a meeting so lottie is like let's ditch the library come over to mine my parents are out. at some point they pause for a break and have a drink (lottie offers something alcoholic, nora declines, lottie doesn't question further but Knows something is up and grabs them both sodas). i don't think they'd be completely honest about their respective mental illnesses or family situations, ofc, but there'd be a shared, quiet understanding borne from a few anecdotes and the implications underlining them. it's nice to be able to breathe for a few hours, to admit the depth of your loneliness and momentarily allow yourself to cast it away. at one point, lottie puts on some music. they dance and laugh and let themselves be teen girls before lottie's parents come home. i think they'd say hi to each other in the halls, and nora would cheer when lottie scores a goal (the cashqueens go to mailin's games), but i just can't see them - for multiple, complex reasons - becoming besties. or at least, not publicly? i think it's one of those 'we'll have the magic of that night and i'll always be grateful for it' dynamics. fuck i actually want a fic of this now lmao.

in many ways shauna/jeff/jackie is just a parallel universe eva/jonas/ingrid situation. so i think shauna would be friendly at school with some of the evas (i'm thinking og eva and megan, not an eva but she'd also like liv imo), but they'd never quite click, either. shauna recognizes something in them she doesn't like - or, she can't recognize herself at all bc in her mind her situation is worse. but they'd share notes sometimes.

rip javi you would've LOVED being a tiny big brother to umut inci <3 there's a world where javi, wanting to become closer to his dad (or perhaps forced to go with him? similar to how he and travis go on the nationals trip) goes to mr martinez's games & training sessions and sees the u12 boys team warming up first and talks to the sullen kid kicking balls really hard. tfw you love your elder sibling but things are hard and neither of you really has the language to express it all.

constantin and randy. obviously. they have drinking competitions at parties; constantin eventually hates randy for not being an alpha male like him. unforch it is the 90s and randy does not have the emotional intelligence to recognize constantin is an alcoholic spiraling. (was that plot like...ever addressed?)

zoe m. and mari besties, spiritual sisters, and soulmates every friday and saturday night. berlin slash wiskayok you are NOT ready. but i don't think zoe is as bitchy as mari is. or as smart, tbh? mari would def hate the instas's s5 stunts. it'd be a very intense, fiery, party-focused short-lived friendship. a 24/7 drunk girl in the bathroom vibe. always about to collapse but absolutely beautiful while it lasts. pre-s2 cris would also love both zoe and mari btw.

yara and tai are the resident It girls who run things bts. i'm assuming tai did multiple extracurriculars. she meets yara, class president, overseer of all, at one of them. they immediately just get each other's vibe and have the 'can work in silent tandem and get everything done in ten mins OR will spend an hour giggling' type of friendship. yara faux-casually lets slip that she's bi once. does she already know tai's closeted and wants to make her feel a little less alone, or is she just hoping she is, desperate to know she's not reading too much into it, wanting to feel a little less alone herself? (tai freaks out regardless. they make up, eventually. yara becomes the world's first tai/van shipper. they smile at each other, a little wistfully, across the room and over the crowd at parties.)

tai would think redouane was a bit of a class clown at first, but she'd see him on the other side of the gym sometimes, always working out, playing with the younger students, putting away equipment correctly, and she'd come to respect him. van would LOVE his lil films. he'd be on the yearbook committee and make sure to take really good photos of van for the yj page, and give her the outtakes, and they'd talk Cinema. bilal comes along once and he and van invent the Just A Goofy Little Guy Convention. but i also think they recognize something in the other - a desire for More from life, but a situation beyond their control that may not allow for it - and maybe they wouldn't talk about it, but she'd sneak him movies for zak and he'd sew her something to pin on her jersey.

pre-s6 lola would love pre-crash nat in the sense that they'd both skip classes to smoke behind the school. unforch lola would rather die than exercise so she also thinks she's better than nat bc she's not an athlete. max also likes pre-crash nat for her bisexual smoker swag.

nobody hates this more than me but tiff is v mistycoded like her first response to being rightfully slapped in the face is to fake a broken neck with a brace to make people feel bad for her. they also only have one friend. they'd absolutely HATE each other though. s6 tiff would def bully her. s7-10 tiff doesn't, but keeps a wide berth, and offers no real apology for her past actions. moira's existence is the only thing that stops misty from putting a dead rat in tiff's locker. the second moira's 18 though? oh it's over.

(tiff is also 10000% the allie stevens of the yj universe, btw.)

some of the william remakes, mostly senne & noah, give me jeff vibes. as in the fandom loves to think they're better men than they are but if you think about it for more than two secs you're like, hold on...but didn't they once...? however alejandro IS travis and i mean this in a way complimentary towards both. alejandro & travis: guys who eventually become one of the girls. guys who love their gfs but love isn't always enough. guys and their almosts, their what ifs, etc.

lucas r loves paul's aesthetic, esp. his earring. he also loves mari. but i don't think mari loves him. tragic (misty loves him bc she loves a gay man she can put in a cage. he doesn't love her at all. less tragic.)

lucas vdh would light a cabin of girls on fire no question. he doesn't even need to know about the cannibalism to do it.

crystal is obvs those two theatre/musical kids that approach the evas in every season one. i could not tell you their names if you put a gun to my head. they might not've even been theater kids. but that's her: Very friendly, Very unable to read a room, Very much deserved better. speaking of deserving better: ava and crystal musical duo when???

jackie [handshake emoji] maya: girls who are doomed by the narrative. girls with complicated families. girls who love really hard. girls who are in love with, and have their heartbroken by, their best friend*. i actually don't think maya would like pre-crash jackie tbh. she's too normie for her. but college jackie and maya meet when jackie's roommate drags her to a campus enviro protest, and they'd become friendly, esp. when maya spots jackie hesitantly entering the lgbt students union. jackie helps maya shave her head once. they talk about femininity and gender and lesbianism and something clicks maybe they become roomies. maybe they raise a plant together. (*yes max is maya's canon bestie but s9 took everything from me debshirley are NOT taking my lola/maya besties headcanon too)

anyways um. did not mean 2 write an entire essay here. sorry for taking ages with it. lmk ur thoughts anon <33

[y4wnjunz]

chapter 1

warnings: cursing, overthinking, nothing really just a good intro for y/n’s life.

word count: ?? i lost count sorry!

today is the day we'll finally be sizing our suits in preparation to go home, or well.. earth as majority of the population calls it. we're currently over the pacific ocean, which i assume it is as it's just a big vast of blue.

my cousin, mark, he says when i get acclimated to the gravity on earth, i'll get to experience real public school, not the school i've been stuck with for the past couple of years.

i wonder what it's like having friends. and boyfriends. or even girlfriends. and sleeping on a plush mattress without straps holding you down. or the smell of grass and not burning plastic, which space smells like.

here in the station we grow plants to help produce o2 or well, oxygen. what's it like on earth, where the wind blows in your hair and helps you cool off in the summer heat.

mark calls summer time, the devil's asshole.. whatever that means.

living in the station and only being around jay, yuna and our unofficial/ official babysitter, officer kim or soojin as we call her; it's hard, because i have no idea these slang words mark says during our video chats.

i've met some of mark friends, heeseung is quiet and jake reminds me of the golden retrievers that i've seen on movies. loud. energetic. and a partier.

they tell me all the stories of their weekly frat parties, every saturday at 8pm they all get plastered and puke their guts out the very next morning. sounds like a pain in my opinion.

they say it's fun until they have to get up for their 9am lecture on monday.

the thought of actually meeting someone other than the people i grew up with scares me. what if i have the permanent smell of burning plastic, or what if i actually never meet these people because my immune system is compromised from living in this floating tin can.

a worrisome expression makes its way into my eyebrows. making jay look at me from his treadmill. he takes his sweatband off; you know to prevent sweat from messing up the computers or getting into someone's eye. not good, happened once and we all got a whole new asshole from the captain on the ground. "hey y/n.. you okay?" jay asks floating next to me.

"yeah, just worried i guess," i look at him and he's nodding his head in agreement.

"i understand y/n. i'm scared shitless for the mission. can you believe we'll be down there in a month?? that's insane. all we've ever known is this!" jay says.

"we got this," i grab his hand and give it a firm hold. he squeezes it back in agreement.

i worry about everything as you can tell. from the possible reaction our bodies could have from radiation to what tomorrow will bring. i have a personal therapist that works for nasa, she's pretty cool. she says i'm one of the first people to be born in space, which that's a given. thanks linda. btw linda isn't her name, she just allows me to call her that since her real name is extremely hard to pronounce.

i torpedo back to my room, which is quite small. a little window with a bed and a tiny bathroom which is quite funny since our bathroom consists of tubes, and bags to store our- well you know.. hopefully.

i grab my book that's strapped down to my bed and read. it's quite fun floating around and getting to just read in the air. something mark, heeseung and jake are all jealous of. maybe one day they'll get to experience this. who knows, after-all jay, yuna and i's parents are astronauts so we got first dibs when our mothers were pregnant.

"hey y/n, we're doing a death sim, so come join us in the bridge please!" soojin says over the intercom. i sigh and place my book back under the bed strap and torpedo back out the door into the bridge.

jay, yuna and soojin are already there with their hands on the railing by the command desk. we can't exactly sit in space so we awkwardly float there with our hair going everwhere. jay blows yuna's hair out of his mouth and almost immediately start arguing.

beep

beep

beep

the control panel indicates that we can be seen by the commander. he's actually the guy who gives orders and is the one who started us as lab rats when he found out two of his astronauts was two months pregnant. i'm honestly surprised we all survived the three-hour trip to the station.

"glad to see everyone is getting along, jay. yuna. and hello soojin and y/n! how's everyone feeling?" commander park says with an eye smile. commander park is actually jay and yuna's great uncle, he's about 60 years old, pretty cool, but i can't help but to despise him for putting us in space.

there were mixed responses from everyone; good. soojin sleepy. yuna i'm bored. jay

and me.. idk how i'm feeling right now, so i stick with the good ole response.

"i'm good, how are you commander park?" i say trying to get this death sim started and over with.

after an hour or two, i lost count, the death sim was over with and we were able to go back to our living quarters to prepare for the next day.

we're so close to going to earth and i'm feeling it in my chest.

[elpscroll]

Saturday Report 11

Late, I know, sorry, it will happen again, am cube.

This week had nothing of adding sprites or assets, I was just working on the writing of the first day of both Celeste and Lily.

The writing progress was good, but there wasn't a lot done... That's what I want though because I'm not rushing anything here.

The first day of the main characters is the first impression people will have of the VN, so I want to make something that catches you, shows the theme of the VN and gives a sneak peek of what's coming with that character.

Before as a scenario, even though everything was mostly different I still didn't go into detail about some characters, because I assumed you got the idea of them from ST, but now there's none of that, these characters are starting here... And honestly, it's pretty fun. (Btw congrats ST for the new version)

This part I talked about in the ELPS Discord but, I'm not gonna talk about every planning in my process, but I can say one of my objectives is: I want a little more "scroll action" to be possible. I like how it worked before, it allowed for many fun stories, and I've never wanted an all powerful item anyway, but it always made the number of uses limited. What I have done currently to change that is adding a new spell to it, before there were only the main one and Xearch(This one will get changed too) and the reset. This new spell requires setup but transports the scroll to who used it after you possess someone. I believe that should be perfect and will open many possibilities, and the setup means it can't be used in a hurry or time sensitive moments.

I didn't come up with a name yet... It's gonna be something backwards

If anyone has a fun suggestion I would love to hear it

That's about all I have to say for this week, sorry if there isn't many cool screenshots this time.

We were in a "very cool phase" with all those sprite edits, and there will be more, but now, it's time for the writing phase, and hey, that's the one that really makes stuff happen.

That was all I had to say for this Saturday, have a good day and see you on the next one.

[elvispresleyhistory]

Anita Wood's Interview On Her & Elvis's Love Story

Anita Marie Wood Brewer was a TV performer, recording artist and girlfriend to Elvis Presley. She later married NFL football player Johnny Brewer. Elvis Presley and Anita Wood met in 1957 and in the same year Elvis referred to Wood as his 'No. 1 Girl'. The two dated seriously for several years from 1957 to 1962. Anita signed a contract to work as an actress for Paramount Pictures but later gave it up for Elvis. While he was in the army, he sent her letters which he told her never to show anyone. Anita recorded for ABC-Paramount (1958); Sun (1961); and Santo (1963). She also worked on the Andy Williams TV Show (summer 1958) and is the uncredited vocalist with Williams on 'The Hawaiian Wedding Song (Ke Kali Nei Au)', a Top 15 hit in early 1959.

Q: When did you first meet Elvis?

A: Well, I met Elvis in 1957. I was on Top 10 Dance Party on WHPQ radio television in Memphis at the time. It was a popular dance show that they had every Saturday afternoon. The teenagers would come and dance and Wink Martindale and I would introduce the songs. Elvis watched that show a lot and one Saturday after the show, he had Lamar Fike call me on the phone and he wanted a date to see me that night. Well, I already had a date with Jimmy Omar and I wouldn't break the date and Lamar went ballistic. I mean he just could not believe -- 'You won't break a date to go with Elvis Presley. Are you crazy?' I mean, you know, he just really went wild. And I said, 'Well, I don't believe Elvis would like that if I did that to him if I had a date with him and broke it for someone else. So, I'm sorry I can't do that because I already have plans'.

So anyway, he got really angry and hung up the phone. And I thought, well, I'll never hear from him again. And to be honest with you, I really wasn't an Elvis fan at that time. But it so happens a couple of weeks later he called again. And the next time, I did not have a date. So I was able to go.

Q: How was that first meeting like with Elvis? Did he introduce himself to you?

A: Well, Lamar Fike -- one of the guys that worked at the TV station was George Klein and another guy by the name of, I can't remember his name. But a couple of cameramen there knew him and of course, I knew them working there. Cliff Gleaves was with his entourage and Cliff was from my hometown of Jackson, Tennessee. He was a little older than I was but I knew his brother and I knew Cliff or I knew of him.

And I was living with a lady by the name of Ms. Patty at the time. And she was like a surrogate mother.

She was a little hen -- mother hen over me.

I was in Memphis working and I had just come from college, just away from home. And back in those days, people were very protective of their daughters and I had a very structured strict upbringing. So when I came to Memphis, Ms. Patty took me under her wing and I lived with her while I was working on television.

So on this night, Lamar said we'll be over to see you about eightish, eight I guess he said. So, I got dressed and ready and when they drove up in the Cadillac. They had a big long black Cadillac and George Klein came to the door. And George says, 'I'm here to pick up Anita'. And Ms. Patty says, 'No. I'm sorry. If he wants to see her, he'll have to come to the door and pick her up'. So he went back to the car and Elvis got out of the car and came to the door and met Ms. Patty. George introduced him to me and we had a little conversation there in the living room. Ms. Patty said, 'Now, you have her back at a reasonable hour'. She was very protective. So after she met us, she allowed me to go with him. And we went out into the car and I remember there was Cliff Gleaves in the back seat and George and this other young man. I can't remember his name right now. He was really a good friend of Alan Fortas's. And maybe Alan was in the car at that time and then Elvis was driving. So I got in the car and sat on my side of the seat because in those days that's what you did. And so then Elvis started around like we did many, many dates that we had just drive around Memphis.

We stopped by Crystal hamburgers. I didn't realize how much he liked Crystals. But anyway, Lamar went in and bought about three dozen Crystal hamburgers and they came back to the car and all the guys ate every one of them. I don't even like Crystal hamburgers but that was okay. I can't imagine that many hamburgers and they just woofed them down. Then we continued driving around some more.

And then Elvis said, 'Would you like to come out and see Graceland?' He just purchased Graceland at the time. And I said, 'Sure. You know, I'd love to'. Because I felt really at ease because of the guys in the back seat that I knew. Not knowing Elvis, but I'll tell you this, he made a good impression on me because he was so good looking. He had a red velvet -- and this was in the summer or spring. He had a red velvet long sleeve puppy shirt on and I think he had worn it in a movie. He had just made Loving You when I met him and he had this shirt on, these black trousers and I think he had like a motorcycle cap on and he was very handsome. I mean, I have to say that Elvis was the most handsome man I'd ever seen before or after. I'd never seen anybody as handsome as he. He was just very good looking, you know. And then as I got to meet him and know him, he had a very good personality: funny, pulling pranks and laughing. But anyway, so he was a very good-looking man at this point and he had my attention somewhat.

Elvis Presley and Anita Wood - September 13, 1957, Memphis Municipal Airport. Elvis picked up Anita who arrived from Hollywood on an American Airline's flight.

Above, Elvis Presley and Anita Wood embrace as she steps from an American Airline's flight at Memphis Municipal Airport the night of Sept. 13, 1957. Miss Wood, hostess for a Memphis TV show, 'Top 10 Dance Party', was returning from a week in Hollywood preparing for her first movie role in 'Girl in the Woods'. Elvis had given the 19-year-old a friendship ring the previous week in Hollywood.

So we went to Graceland and he proceeded to show me around Graceland and I think he gave me a Teddy bear that night that he had in his dining room, pink and black Teddy bear. And he gave that to me and he showed me all the rooms and introduced me to his mother and dad and to his grandmother. They were all there. And we visited and listened to some music, played the piano awhile. And he said, 'Come up. I want to show you my office and what's upstairs'. I said, 'Okay'. So we went upstairs and of course, he took me to his bedroom and it was a dark, navy blue dark drapes and the huge -- the biggest bed I'd ever seen in my life. I mean it was really a big bed and mirrors all around everywhere. It was just very dark. And so he said, 'This is my bedroom'. And his bathroom I remember had baby blue carpet, carpet all over the floor and light blue mirrors everywhere. And then the closets he showed me on both sides and they were just filled with his clothes. He never wore the same thing twice. You know, he'd just take them off and dump them. I don't think he ever wore the same thing twice. But anyway, all these clothes on both sides and he just showed me his room. I thought that was very nice. And his office was right there next to it. And then we were talking and then he began to sit me down on the pit and he kissed me and, you know, in those days, people didn't kiss on their first date, not ever. So, you know, that was just I didn't want to like that. Because I don't care who he was, you know, and then he began to try to get a little fresh with me. And I said, 'Oh, no. That won't work. You know you're gonna have to take me home'. So he said, 'Okay'. And he took me downstairs and took me home. He was a gentleman about it. He was very nice. But he did try to get fresh the first date, but he didn't get to first base. It didn't work.

Q: Tell us about some of your dates.

A: Well, okay. It's been a long time and it's hard to remember what we did next. But during the time I did date him which is about five years before and after the army. In Memphis, we'd go to the Memphian theater. He would rent it late at night and we would go in and watch two or sometimes three movies at night. And he would invite people at the gate to go with us. A lot of fans would be there. We would go to his house many times. And we would watch TV, listen to music. He would invite the people up from down at the gate which were a bunch of fans, and crazy girls, you know, and here I was his date and these girls would just, man they were falling all over him. Wanted to sit in his lap and everything. I really did not like that because I was his date. I had a hard time with that and they would go in and shoot pool and watch TV in that the TV room downstairs and for a long time all night long and, you know.

He called me Little because I was very small at the time, tiny. 'Little girl, go fix me a sandwich, peanut butter, and jelly sandwich'. Now, you know, back when I fixed a sandwich for him, we mixed up the peanut butter the banana together and we didn't put it in butter and put it in a skillet. We just put it on white bread. But now I saw the other day, this man was fixing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Elvis liked and they sliced the bananas in thick slices and put it in this butter and cooked it so he may have started liking that later. But when I was dating him, he liked just a plain old-fashioned mashed bananas and I would go fix him sandwiches. Pepsi -- he was a big Pepsi freak. He had this fountain downstairs. We would do that. That was a lot of fun. Sometimes we would go to Channel restaurant and they would let us in the back way. And we would all go get to eat everything we wanted, you know, and Elvis is kind of finicky eater. And there were certain things he liked prepared certain ways and he would go and eat there.

Sometimes we would go to the skating rink and he would rent it all night long and he would buy knee pads and elbow pads for all the guys and some of the girls not very many participated but some did. And they would get out there and have wars with one another and pop the wheel up, you know, as fast as they go. Little biddy people like Billy Smith, they just got clobbered but it was so fun and they just loved it. And we would just skate all night long and he would also invite the friends at the gate. He always invited his fans to go with us. Sometimes we would go to the fairgrounds and he would rent it after hours. And he would just invite everybody to come that was at his home and they're always people at the gate when he was in town. So they would all go to the fairgrounds with us: friends, some family, and just fans. And he would stay all night long and ride everything as many times as we wanted to, just have a wonderful time, all night long. Here I'm getting so tired sleeping. Elvis would be all ready to go. But we were so tired and sleepy.

Sometimes we would get on the motorcycle just Elvis and I and ride through Memphis. That was some of my best times with him. Sometimes he still had the truck when he worked for Crown Electric and it was a black panel truck. And just he and I would get in that truck and nobody would recognize him in that truck. You know, it wasn't like a limousine Cadillac. It was an old, old black panel truck. And we would get in there and he would take me down to Lauderdale Courts and where he used to live when he was poor and talk about that a lot and show me where he came from. We went to Tupelo several times and he showed me, you know, where he lived down there. This was all before the army now. These were things we did here. And then when he went to New Orleans for King Creole. He would always invite me down there for a spell and to California.

When he went into the army it was a little different.

Q: There are some photos that we have of you and Elvis on a rollercoaster or something. Could you tell us about the pictures where it looks like he's petrified?

A: We're just acting. We're just being funny. Like on the Scrambler, we were going like that. 'Act scared, Little. Act scared Little'. You know, just something funny to do and the Rocket that was another scary one we used to ride, the Scrambler and everything else. The rollercoaster just time after time after time. It was fun.

Q: Did Elvis like living in Hollywood for a while or what were some of his impressions of Hollywood?

A: Well, at first, I really don't think he liked it. I don't know what happened later when he stayed out there more. He always wanted to come home. He was always anxious to come back to Memphis. I think he met a lot of people out there. I know the first time I went out there, he was staying at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel, I believe. And I remember Ricky Nelson came up one night and some other people. I do remember him. And we stayed in that hotel that time before he ever rented a house or bought a house or whatever he did in California. Later on, he did rent a house and I came back and he was in a big house and everything. But even in California, we did a lot of driving around, you know, when we were out there. It was wild he thought as I thought that things that went on out there were things that went on in hell. I mean really, it was just the wildest place we ever saw. We talked about that a lot at the beginning. He wanted his family and friends around him. He felt as stranger, you know, he just loved Memphis better.

He liked being in Graceland back then.

Q: Were you on any of the movie sets with Elvis?

A: Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Lots of them.

Q: Do you have any specific memories of Elvis playing pranks or practical jokes?

A: They used to do that a lot. Oh, they got me good so many times.

I don't want to tell you about some of them. They were just embarrassing. I was so gullible, but anyway. Yeah. I just remember going to so many you can name them. The one he made with Tuesday Weld.

I remember he told me little things about her and, what was of the name of that one?

Q: Wild in the Country.

A: Wild in the Country and Flaming Star and that was interesting and then the one he made one with Joan Blackman, Blue Hawaii, maybe Kid Galahad. King Creole was one of the first ones I went to. A lot of the times I didn't go to the set so much as be there to be with him when he came home. He was so secretive back in those days and he always said because it was of Colonel Tom Parker, you know. He didn't want us to take any pictures and if I was ever with him and there was a picture made, I would look down or try to look away, you know, for from the camera and not appear to be too happy because he didn't want everybody to know our real relationship for each other. Our real, you know, that we really cared for one another. He wanted it to be more like we're just girlfriend and boyfriend and we're just dating. And then he'd always come to me and say, 'But, Little, you know that's not really true. You're just the only one for me. You know, these are just publicity stunts. It doesn't mean anything. You're the only one I care anything about'. And he had a way that he could convince you that that's true. I'm telling you. But anyway, I was out there a lot of times. I'm sure there was some more. I just can't think of -- I remember one with this tall girl and they were doing the dance like thing.

Q: Did Elvis ever tell you about the roles he would like to do like more dramatic roles.

A: Yeah. Yeah. He really disliked the little silly things that he did. Now, he loved King Creole. He liked that one. He thought he did well and I thought he did too in that one. He was a more dramatic role and he liked the actress he was playing with. Some of the others he did not like. Wild in the Country I think he liked that pretty well. You know, he would like to have done more dramatic roles and I think he really turned into a very good actor. You know, he had a little southern accent that was a little difficult to overcome, but he was just handsome and so darling and so talented that he did anything well, you know.

I think the fans like him during the musicals and things, but he really preferred the dramatic parts and would have liked to have done more of those.

Q: Tell me what Elvis' thought of King Creole.

A: Okay. Elvis' favorite movie that I ever knew about when I was dating him was King Creole and he liked it because the story line was good. And he liked it because the actors were serious actors that he was playing with or working with. And he would like to do more pictures like that, more dramatic pictures.

Q: Do you remember Cliff Gleaves driving you and Elvis around?

A: Yes.

Q: Can you tell some of those stories?

A: Cliff Gleaves, look, I cannot remember a lot of specific things unless he was here to remind me and then I could. But I just know that he could make Elvis laugh so hard. And they used to laugh at such silly things like his cousin Gene. I mean we would be driving along in California one time in a white Cadillac with gold specks in it and everything. And Elvis and Gene would sit there and talk this weird language, talk to each other so crazy, crazy, crazy. And just die laughing, fall out, laugh and stop the car, get out of the car and laugh, you know. I mean they were so funny. And he Cliff was right there with him.

Alan Fortas was another one that could make him laugh so hard. And he loved to laugh and he had a great personality. He was a tremendous guy and funny and I remember him quite well.

Q: Tell us about Elvis' sense of humor.

A: He had a good one. He loved to pull tricks. And I'm not going to tell you what he did on me, one that was so horrible. I was so embarrassed when I found out what I said because I didn't even know what the word meant and he knew that and he had me say something in front of a mixed crowd that was in the -- taking me home one night in the Cadillac and after I said it, they had to stop the car again. Because the people in the back seat just fell on the floor laughing and he had a Pepsi in his hand that just went up in the air all over the seat and they just died laughing and I was what did I say, I mean you know. And look it's not that I was dumb, but I was just very naive. I was very overly protected as a young child and a young girl. My family didn't talk ugly words, you know. I did hear a few ugly words and eventually, I understood it and knew exactly what they meant, but I didn't at that time. But yeah, he had a really funny sense of humor. Funny, funny, funny.

Q: Didn't you get a seven-year contract with Paramount pictures?

A: Yeah.

Q: Can you mention that?

A: Well, I won a Hollywood star hunt contest, you know. And I was supposed to go make a movie in California and I did go to California when Elvis was out there I believe when I went out there. And so Elvis came home first and the picture was getting ready to go into production. So Elvis came home and he called me on the phone, 'Little, I miss you. I want you to come home'. Well, I just said okay. So I just gave up the picture and everything and I came home and he met me at the airport. That's when they took a lot of those pictures if you remember. I just gave it all up. It didn't really mean a lot to me. You know, my parents had always wanted me to be an entertainer because God had given me a voice and I did sing and I liked to act. I enjoy that type of thing. But really and truly I just wanted to get married and have children and be a normal person. Well, with Elvis you could never be normal. I found out that right away pretty soon. And it was the furthest thing from being normal with him, but I didn't really care about those things.

So when he wanted me to come home, I came home. I just gave it all up.

Q: What are your memories of Elvis being drafted and going down there with him?

A: Well, before we get to that, let me see. I remember them getting the notice and I remember his mother's reaction. She was devastated, scared, sad. Mrs. Presley and Elvis were very close and I mean they talked baby talk to each other and loved each other and was very charming. I just loved it because he treated me the same way. He called me baby and talked to me baby talk just like he did to his mother and I just ate that up. You know, who wouldn't. I mean, he treated you just like you were a doll. But they had a real close relationship and I remember when they got this notice, Elvis was concerned about his career, you know, and what might happen. Leaving home, go that far away, was afraid he'd have to go overseas and he didn't like to fly. I don't know when he started liking to fly but he hated to fly. I hated to fly, you know, we'd ride the train all the time we had to go places. He was dreading that at that time. And like I said his mother, it just devastated her. She did not see another happy day from the day they received that notice.

And I remember when Elvis went to Fort Hood and when he left and we all went to the bus station down there to see him off and his mother was so sad and I would say it was a very sad time. And we all saw him off and then Mrs. Presley and Mr. Presley and I went back to Graceland after he left. Well, it wasn't long until Elvis had purchased a trailer out there in Texas and he put his mother and his dad and his grandmother in this trailer. And then at this time, I was in New York working on the Andy Williams Summer Show. And I was under contract with these people, ABPT Paramount Theatres. But anyway, so I was in New York at this time and he called me. And every weekend I had to fly to Fort Worth and we picked up Lamar, drove to Fort Hood and visited them in the trailer, while they had the trailer. There I was every weekend with them. His mother was not very happy. And it was a little uncomfortable, crowded in a trailer. She was used to different things by this time. And she was a little uncomfortable and she was not in the best of health. And it was in the hot summertime and in the middle of a field way back in the woods somewhere because that's where you had to be if you wanted any privacy at all. And that was a difficult time for them in that trailer, but that's where his mom and dad the whole time until his mother got sick then she had to come back to Memphis. It was not good for any of us at that time.

Q: Why was Elvis found with the Fadals?

A: We would get together. He and the Lamar guy was always there. In fact the law guys always there, all the time. Very few times were Elvis and I totally alone. There was always someone with us.

Q: Can you mention Mr. Fadal's name some more in there?

A: It's okay. Many weekends when Elvis would have time away from Fort Hood, from the camp or the base, whatever you call it there, we would drive over to Eddie Fadal's house and visit Mr. Fadal in Waco, Texas. I can't remember exactly, but we would drive there and his daddy would go with us. This was after his mom had passed away. I don't remember her being with us. It was Mr. Presley and Lamar and some other people, I'm sure. I just can't remember who. Someone was always there, I do remember that and we would go and visit Eddie and they were so nice and they just loved Elvis.

They just had a room there that they dedicated to him. And he could go and just do anything he wanted to do.

I remember one time we went there and they had a birthday cake, I think it might've been my birthday, it was in May and they sang a song and I got them to dance with me. You know he didn't like tap dance. But, he was dancing with me and singing that song Happy Birthday Baby, Happy Happy Birthday Baby for a long time. We used to sing there and Eddie he had a little girl. I remember his little daughter and we would gather around the piano and all of us used to sing. And they would always fix good food for us to eat and things that Elvis liked.

It was just a place to get away, away from the army.

And Elvis was at that time; he was more like a normal guy. He didn't have any dye in his hair, he didn't wear the lifts in his shoes, and he had a beautiful tan. He was just like the guy next door. I remember Bill and Ali Norwood. Bill is the Sergeant there and Ali was from Germany and they lived where the sergeants lived there on the base. And I stayed with them a lot when I went to visit him first. And we would come over and then we would go in the backyard and sit in the yard and look up at the sky. Talk about all the things we were planning on doing, like getting married, all that kind of stuff in the future. And then it was foreign to him not knowing what was gonna happen when he had to go overseas and he already knew that by now. And he was dreading that. Before his mom passed away, it was the greatest time that I ever spent with him.

He was a soldier boy and I was his girlfriend from back home and we were in love and we were together with friends. We just had a wonderful time. Dating, people didn't really bother him then and we just had a normal relationship during those days.

Later, after his mom passed away, he went to this house in Killeen, Texas and I remember his grandmother was there and his dad. Elvis would do everything to keep himself busy and he invited these people -- I remember fan club presidents coming from Chicago and other places. They would come and stay in that house. I could not believe it, they were all over the place. Every time I went down on the weekend, it was a different place. Different people there. Strangers, I'd never seen these people. Elvis didn't act like himself then. He would play on the piano and look around, 'Little are you there?' He would always look for me to make sure I was there, but all these strange people were around, ya know. Elvis was a big eater and I'm a big eater. I always have been a big eater. We like to eat. That was always a part of our day too - our night, night with Elvis. He slept in the daytime. You had to rearrange your whole schedule.

Q: Please tell us about Elvis and his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Presley and how it was for them when they were all at Graceland together.

A: It was a fun time. I can remember some Christmas' that we were there altogether. And we were all happy. It was a happy good time. She would look at him, and I remember to talk to him and she would grit her teeth, and talk this baby talk, and he would do it back to her. They were gritting their teeth at each other. And it was just so much fun and Mr. Presley was loving, but not as much so as she was. I mean I know he loved Elvis and, but he didn't show it the way she did. Of course, being a mother. And now that I'm a mother, I can understand it even more. But, because she lost Elvis' twin, she was just extremely close to him. And she would talk to me about, she wanted us to get married and she wanted us to have a little boy and to name it Elvis Jr. And she said, 'I can just see him running up and down the driveway in his little bare feet, this little blonde-headed boy'. Ya know. We talked about things like a lot.

She's trying to plan his future, not having any idea of the things that were going down.

We used to always sit down, he would always fix things like some kinda of greens. And they would get some grease and get it really hot on the stove and pour it over the greens. I've never heard of that before and I don't know what it is still to this day. But, it was good. Some kind of dark greens. Collard greens? Or something kind of greens. That was home cooking, it was really good and we would go visit and aunts and we would eat with them and they were the same type of people, ya know. And with Patsy, his double cousin, ya know. It was a good close family. We had a lot of family gatherings at Graceland. They would all come there. And we would go to their house too. I remember the day we went and found Junior dead and that was really sad. Junior Smith was his cousin and he died at night in his sleep and we went over there and we were the first there. A terrible sight, but that was just the first tragedy that happened in that family.

Q: What was Elvis' parents' reaction to his success, how did Mr. and Mrs. Presley handle it?

A: Mrs. Presley was worried, concerned, she didn't like him to go on his trips. She was afraid that someone might hurt him. That he might get hurt traveling there and back. Very protective mother. Very protective of him because she had lost the twin, you could understand that. That's all she had left and she wouldn't have any more children. So she was extremely close and protective of him. She was not really happy about him being gone. 'Son always take care, be careful, take care, call me as soon as you get there'. This type of mother and this is her message to him always. They talked on the phone often at first, you know, when I first met him and the times he would leave and go to Hollywood. And she did go out there for Loving You that was right before I met him, but I don't remember her going out there since then.

She really got in bad health and spent a lot of time at home.

Q: What do you think was the reason for her declining health?

A: Well, I would say because of Elvis and getting into the Army, having him join the Army and that might have something to do with it. I know that broke her heart because she did not want him to go into the Army. She did not want him to go overseas. I mean this was foreign to her and she could not imagine him going that far away from her and being separated from him. That why after the first six weeks when they couldn't go; when I could go down there and spend so much time with them the first six weeks of boot camp that's what they call it, I think. And when she came down there, how elated she was in the trailer, even in the trailer. And the quaint surroundings that we had down there, she was so happy to be there when she was with him, taking care of her son again, ya know. They were just a close family. He always included grandma too. She was always there too. It was just hard. She worried a lot about him. I mean worry can make anybody sick. She did, she worried constantly about him. Always concerned that someone was gonna hurt him, ya know. So it may have had something to do with her health. I don't know, she might have been having problems from the beginning, I don't know.

A liver problem, they say that's what is was in the end.

Q: How about her concern with the girls chasing after Elvis and so forth?

A: Well she didn't much like that either. She did not much like the girls chasing him when he'd come over the house. I don't remember a lot of the girls from the gate coming up there that often. Cause they were living there and they did not want them up there. His Mother would talk to me about she hoped that we would end up together, 'You're just the girl for him. You would take care of him, you know. I know that you will and he'll always remember his roots and where he came from' and this type of thing. She was not pleased with a lot of activity and I remember when they lived on Audubon before they bought Graceland, I remember her telling me about Natalie Wood coming to visit and she didn't much like that. She didn't like some the habits that she had and she told me all about it. I'm thinking that she had to approve of the person that Elvis really ended up with. It meant a lot to him that his mother approved of someone a lot.

Q: When the girls were rushing the stage, was she concerned about that?

A: Oh yeah, always afraid he would get hurt, you know. I mean there were a lot of girls, and boys, and women, and they would rush him. Sure, I would be and she was worried and concerned about that. He can get hurt. He may have gotten hurt some of the time. I think they jerked his shorts off and things like this, grabbing for him. So, oh yeah, she was a constant worrier. She just was. She was from a family that was not used to anything like this and it was all new and foreign to her and she did not like it.

Q: Tell us about when Elvis would go down to Goldsmith's after hours?

A: Well a time or two, he would just say 'Okay we're going, let's downtown to Levy's or Goldsmith's'. There was another one. I can't remember the name of it right now. He would just load up the car. We would all get into the car. And Patsy and myself, maybe Louis and Jean, some of the guys. He would say 'Okay ladies go get anything you want'. Well you know me, I didn't get very much. I've always been taught you don't take advantage of people. And so Eddie would tell me to get something I would maybe pick out this dress. I like this dress or these shoes. 'Get it, get what you want', you know. I would not get very much. Now Elvis gave me a lot of things and that's fine. And I accepted them and I gave them all away eventually, except the ring my daughter still has on that's the only thing I kept. But, as far as him saying go. And that's what he did and, of course, the guys would all go and just buy everything they wanted. But, I would just maybe get a few things. He'd yell out to me, 'Get em, get em, get some more, get some more'.

Yeah, he was very generous to a fault I think.

Q: Tell us about the guitar Elvis gave you?

A: Okay, well the guitar. One Christmas he was in Germany at the time and Mr. Diskin, who worked for Colonel Tom Parker, brought it to my home in Jackson, Tennessee and it was a guitar and it had gold letters written in it. And he had gold letters written on it, 'Too Little from EP'. Of course, I couldn't play guitar and didn't want to play guitar. A big guitar. It was in a very nice case and that was a Christmas gift from him that year. It was very nice. I kept it for while and then, later on, I gave it to an old neighbor of mine, Larry Worthy. I don't know if you know him or not. He said he put it in a Museum. I don't know what he did with the guitar, but he was a big fan and a little guy so I gave it to him.

Q: Was there certain getaways that you could remember?

A: Well now look, I done told you a lot. We spent a lot of time at Graceland. On the grounds at Graceland, they would have roman candle fights in the backyard that were just scary as everything, at each other. I mean they had no fear. Oh man and we sat and watched this. Fighting with each other, at each other with these roman candles. Right at each other. That's one thing they did. We would just get on the go-cart and ride around Graceland a lot. A swimming pool, we used to go swimming, they had a pool there.

Elvis was not a big swimmer and did not really like, when I knew him, to get in the water that much. But, he would on occasion go out there if I asked him, 'Let's go swimming'. You know, it was hot. I remember one time, we were out there, Lamar was out there and he had me stand up here and say 'Lamar, look at her. Just look at her. That hip is just a little bit bigger than the other hip', he said. 'Now you see that. But other than that, just look at it on her. She's just perfect, turn around Little'.

We'd go riding in the truck; we'd go riding on the motorcycle down to Lauderdale Courts. To the Rainbow Skating Rink, I believe was the name of it back then. To the Memphian Theatre, to the Fairgrounds, like it is now. And sometimes we'd go to friend's houses. He had some friends in Arkansas that ran the theaters; we'd go see them some. We would go to see Jean and Louise occasionally. They were close to him. Mainly, he'd just like to drive, ya know, just drive around Memphis. He'll say 'Let's go drivin'. We used to talk and listen to music, go back to Graceland, go to the music, then go to the piano room. We had a big white piano there then, and he would sit down for hours. Unchained Melody and all these beautiful old songs. He would play and we would sing together. Our favorite song to sing together was, I Can't Help It If I'm Still In Love With You. We'd just sit and sing and play for hours, in fact when he was in Germany he sent me this letter and the song had changed. Our song now was, Please Love Me Forever by Tommy Edwards.

And Soldier Boy was on the back of it and he told me he was going to make a record of it and he really did. He made a record of Soldier Boy later. Then he made me go out and buy the record. This is our song now by Tommy Edwards. But he was real musical you know, and had a great talent. He taught me to play the piano the way he does, which is just cording by ear. And that was fun.

Movies, he was a movie buff. I remember when I first met him; we went to this theater uptown. Maybe the Malco Theatre. Upstairs in the daytime, this is unbelievable, in the daytime, upstairs in the balcony. He and I and probably Lamar, he was always there and some other guys maybe and watch these western movies, I was so bored. But I sat there and watched movie after movie in the afternoon up in the balcony. The old Malco Theatre. And we would just cruise down Main Street. Oh boy. Sometimes we go to the radio station. Dewey Phillips was a DJ and he had a radio station. It was real popular. He'd hear his name, he'd drive by there, ya know, sometimes. Ya know, we didn't go out to places, as some people do on dates. Because he wasn't able to do that. He would get mobbed everywhere he went, except for the truck and the motorcycle. With his motorcycle cap on, ya know sometimes we'd stop someplace; somebody would recognize him and we'd have to take off in a hurry. But it was better in Memphis. They respected him more.

Q: I wanted to get back to when Elvis' mother passed away and he came back to Memphis and he learned of her death and said goodbye to her. If you could go back there for us?

A: Okay. During this time I was in New York again, all summer long up there. So one morning bright and early the phone rang, my mother was with me at the time, and he called me and said, Little. And he told me the sad news that his mother passed away and I want you to come. So that was on a Thursday, that's what I remember. And I also did the Andy Williams Show on Thursday night and they taped it. So as soon as I did the show that night, I had my make-up on, I went directly from the show to the airport and got on a plane and flew down here to Memphis. Lamar met me at the airport, took me to Graceland.

When we pulled up to Graceland in front of the house, Elvis and his dad were sitting on the front steps and Elvis was just crying it was so sad. And his daddy was crying. And I got out of the car and rained', Little, Little, Little, I've lost her, I lost her, I lost her'. Crying and he said', Come on in, I want you to see her'. And I said', No I don't think I want to go in there'. He said', Yes Little she loved you and I want you to come in there and I want you to see her. You just gotta come in here and see her'. She was in the music room and I didn't know that. And I was just a little bit squeamish about that, never having seen a corpse before or anything. And because I did love her, she was just a really sweet lady. She showed me a great deal of affection.

So he grabbed me and brought me inside with him.

And he walked me back and there were people all around, I don't remember who, I didn't see anybody. And he walked me back to the music room where there was the coffin. It was a white coffin and she was lying in the coffin which had glass over it. I often wondered why the glass was over it. They were afraid Elvis just could not keep his hands off his mom, you know. And she had a pink, one of her little western things she wore. She had that on and he started talking to her in that baby talk again. And I just broke down, it was so sad.

And he said', Little look at her little switties'. He made them raise up the back part of the coffin and you could see her little feet there and she was barefooted and her toes were painted and everything and he was talking about her switties, she was so swollen at this time. The corpse was still swollen and I remember he made me stand there forever just looking at her and talking to her.

And talking about her and including me in all the conversation, ya know.

And I was just so sad. But, really and truly I can say that I could not sympathize with Elvis truly until my daddy died many years later when I called him up and told him', Now I understand what you went through'. You know, until you experience something yourself, you really don't know what someone's going through. I didn't realize how he was suffering so much until I lost my dad of a sudden heart attack at fifty-nine years old. Then when I called Elvis, I wanted him to know I understood cause it was terrible. And I remember that's, I think that's when he started taking the pills from this Dr. Nichopoulos. Tranquilizers, because he was so upset, that he couldn't sleep and he couldn't sit still very long. He was constantly from room to room to room. Person to person to person. Back to the casket and I think that is when he and his father maybe Dr. Nichopoulos gave them some prescription drugs of some sort to calm him down and help him sleep.

Q: I've read for many years Elvis has said', Everything I have is gone, I did everything for you'.

Is that what he said?

A: Probably something very similar to that because he was doing a lot of lamenting over his mom and a lot of talking. And of course, you know, I was listening to some of it and I was crying too. He did say that he had worked -- all this was for his mom and that he was -- he did think it would be difficult to go on because she would not be there to enjoy with him the fame and the fortune that was coming his way.

Because it was for her and for his parents. Mainly for her, he made that statement.

Q: Tell us about Elvis actually going oversea to Germany. Your memories of that.

A: Well that was sad time too. You mean at the bus station down there.

Q: Right.

A: Well, his mom was there and his dad and Patsy and Judy Spreckles and some other fans were there. He hugs me last and his mom next to me. His mom and then me. The last thing he said to me was', Little I love you and I will return and don't forget me'. Okay, I remember that very succinctly. I was trying not to cry because I didn't want him to see me leave crying. It was just hard. My heart was being torn away because he was my first love. Elvis was my first love, Johnny, my true love. But, Elvis was my first and I was in love with him. It was very hard to see him leave and his mom and dad were crying, I was crying. His mom and dad knew that they would be with him again soon. But, they couldn't go over for six weeks. They were apart for six weeks.

Q: Tell us how often you kept in touch while he was in Germany?

A: In Germany?

Q: Yeah, did you write letters and stuff?

A: Yeah we did, we did, we did. He called real often on the phone to my mom's house, and I stayed a lot in Jackson during that time. Called on the telephone, weird hours. It would be very late when he would call because the time change was so different. He wrote me three letters that were very special to me and to anybody that would read them. He swore he loved me, how we would get married, how there was so no one else, how I need to stay true to him and remain and wait for him. How he was afraid I would not. I don't know why Elvis thought so little of himself. He was so jealous. I don't know why. I can't imagine why.

It just reminded me of something that happened once. We kept in touch and in fact he wanted me to come to Germany and had gone and got my passport and all the shots ready to go because grandma was over there and his dad was over there and Lamar was over there. So anyway, I was gonna go and right before I went he called and said that Colonel Parker had stopped that. That he thought that if I went over there, they would have us engaged or getting married and at this time in his life, in the Army, Colonel Parker said he does not need to have that kind of publicity. So it would be best if I did not go. So I did not go.

Then, of course, he met Priscilla after that, but I still dated him some when he came back.

Even though he had met her over there then.

Q: How was the reunion when he got back?

A: Oh my goodness. Well, I had read a little bit about Priscilla in the papers and he assured me that this was a child. A fourteen-year-old child that was the daughter of an Army Officer. And I said to him because I had read in the papers. And so that last letter he wrote me was a little cruel. I had been a little cruel to him and he was afraid that maybe I had found someone else or did not feel the same toward him, which was not true. I was just upset with him and I did not maybe talk to him for a while. But the letters were very special.

Anyway, you want to know what now? I got just off track.

Q: When did you first see Elvis when he came back home after the Army?

A: Okay, well I was over at Patsy Presley's house and he called over there and told them to come out, that he wanted to see them, but he knew I was there, and he said', Tell Little to wait'. And the reason being is because he told them that when we see each other', There'll be nobody else in the room, but just us. And I don't want my family to get their feelings hurt, so you wait Little and then you can come out later. I want them to come first and you come later'. It didn't work out that way. They went out there, but immediately he'd call me, he didn't wait. Then I went on out there and he was standing right there in the doorway of the music room where the piano was. And I walked in the front door and he was just standing there and ya know. He said, Little. And I just ran over there to him and we just embraced for a long time and I was glad to see him. I guess he was glad to see me. We just embraced for a while. Quite a while.

Q: In a way, it was like you never felt apart?

A: Well yeah, there'd been a period of time. Yeah, it was just like it was before. We were just really glad to see each other. It was just really a good time, happy time.

Q: What was your happiest time during this period when Elvis came back?

A: The happiest time was before he came back when he was at Fort Hood. That was the happiest time. When he came back? Just seeing him was a very happy time. We just spent time together, ya know. We still made some more movies, I went to California with him and visited him out there several times, met Joe. Charlie Hodge, from the Army. Army buddies. They stayed there all the time.

Q: Tell us about the guys around Elvis and the camaraderie?

A: There were always people around Elvis, guys. Okay, that's one reason why I could never have married Elvis when you really get down to it because you were not alone very often. There were very few times in our life that we were totally alone for very long at a time. They were always there. They lived with him, they took care of him, they did everything he said and they were always there. And they were always going to be there. Also, there were lots of fans that were going to be there, women that were gonna be there. They were there, to begin with, they were gonna be there in the end. I mean I had a little problem when Priscilla wanted to divorce Elvis because she should've known that there was going to be people in his life.

There were people there, they were gonna always be there. And like he tried to assure me, it meant nothing to him, but it was a very important part of his life and they were there.

Q: Have you found letters from Priscilla?

A: I found one letter when I was in California, one of the times when I was out there. And it was pressed in a book in the library outside of his bedroom. Joe remembers that I'm sure he was there. But anyway, when he came home from the set that day, that's when I asked him about the letter. And in the letter, it said 'Please call my dad. I want to come over there and if you call my dad, I know he will let me come, he will listen to you. I miss you'. So when he came in, I said', What is this letter, who is this, this Priscilla, you said she was just a child?' He got so mad because I found the letter. He took me and he shoved me up against the closet.

He was so mad at me, just livid because I had found the letter.

And then I left that night on an airplane back to Memphis. I went straight to Graceland with grandma. I know when I walked in the door the phone was ringing and it was him. I didn't want to talk to him. But he kept calling and I remember when he got me on the phone', Little, please don't tell anybody about this. This girl, again, she's just a child. She's just a fourteen-year-old child it means absolutely nothing. She just wants to visit, it means nothing. And if you told anybody, I'd get in a lot of trouble, she's so young'. He just begged me', Little, Little, Little'. So I said', I won't tell anybody', and I never did, I never did tell anybody.

I said', I won't tell anybody, that's fine'.

So even after that, we dated some, I dropped down the letter, not after I left that was the end of that. After I found the letter, he just wanted to tell me that', It didn't really mean anything'. But I thought she was a very pretty, pretty young lady. She was probably crazy about him too, fourteen-years-old, I don't know if she could be in love; she probably was. I don't know at fourteen-years-old. And I just couldn't imagine, well anyway. Coming over to the United States, it just didn't sound right to me.

Anyway, that's what happened, that's how I found out about her.

Q: You said that you overheard Elvis and his father talking in the kitchen?

A: You want to know about when I left, is that what you wanna know? Okay, this was about in 1962, early 1962. I had been there, this was late in the evening when I had gone upstairs and Elvis was in the kitchen and Elvis' father was sitting at the bar there with him. And when I was coming down the back stairs into the kitchen, I heard Elvis say', I'm having the hardest time making up my mind between the two. Well you don't know a lot of things that went on, but I do know she had come over; she visited'. He'd talked his way out of that one, ya know, with me. And I knew she was in his life, but I also knew she was young. Very young, but when I heard him say that I'm having a hard time making up my mind between the two, I knew exactly what he was talking out. And I had a lot of pride. In those days women had a lot of pride. Now they don't have a lot of pride anymore. But, I did have a lot of pride and so I just marched my little self right down the stairs.

And Elvis took me into the dining room and his dad was sitting at the table. And we sat down at the table and I said', I'm gonna make that decision for you, I heard what you said and I'm leaving'. And I remember that I started crying, it was a very difficult decision to make. I must say that was probably the most difficult decision that I've ever made in my life. I have to say that. After having dated someone like Elvis for five years, and as close as we were for this to end. And when I left, I knew there would be no going back. I would never have come back, never. So anyway, I said', I'm leaving', and I called Andy, my brother to come pick me up and we sat there and talked a little bit longer, nobody could eat, that was food, but nobody could eat. And I remember Mr. Presley said', Well if you must leave Anita, ya know, maybe you'll meet again. There are people that sometimes separate and they get back together, and you'll get back together again'. I said', I don't know, I'm not planning on it'. And I was crying and Elvis was crying. And he just said', I pray to God that I'm doing the right thing by letting you go'. And I said', You can't keep me from going, I'm going'. I mean I was really upset, I was mad, I was hurt and he wasn't going to have to make that decision.

So my brother came and we got some things that I had there and we left, and I never went back again as his girlfriend. I went back later after he died to see Grandma and Mr. Presley, but we talked later and we were still friends, I saw him later. But, that was the end of that; I would've never gone back. If you have a problem between me and somebody else, hey, that's it. I don't care. But it was still difficult because I loved him. Everyone was saying, it didn't matter if it was Elvis Presley or Joe Blow, ya know. I loved this person. If he was having problems making up his mind between me and another person, that was too difficult for me to take.

Q: Let's talk a little bit about grandma? Do you know how she got the moniker Dodger?

A: I think she dodged something at one time, I can't remember, ya know. We just always call her that and I think I remember them telling me the story, but I really can't remember it.

Q: Can you tell us the relationship between Elvis and his grandmother?

A : Elvis loved his grandmother and I loved his grandmother. I stayed with her when he was traveling and when he was in California. I would go and stay with her. She told me many tales, old tales. She would sit up there and dip her snuff and watch that T.V. She loved soap operas. And I would stay in the room with her and spend the night in the bed with her and talk for ages.

I remember one time, I was out there and I had a chest cold and Mr. Presley said', Look you see this stuff right here, you rub this on your chest and you will feel so much better'. Something called heat. And man I rubbed it on my chest, I had a chest cold. Listen it was so hot I cannot begin to tell you how hot it was. He thought that was so funny. He just laughed too. It was a joke, but I mean he was just like Elvis too, funny in a way. They thought they were helping me, but it burned me to death.

But I loved her; she was a very country, down to earth woman.

In Texas, he wanted sauerkraut and prattle peas, and colonial brunsel rolls, and fried bacon so crisp, ya know, that you can just crackle it. And she cooked it that way for him every time he wanted it That's the way she fixed it. I remember doin' that night after night after night. And he liked country fried potatoes and you slice the potatoes real thin and you cook 'em very crisp. And she would do that, just the way he liked it. And he would eat it every night. He never got tired of it. I'm a lot like that; maybe that's where I got it from because I don't get tired of food. It's good all time. But he would eat that all the time.

And whatever he wanted, she did for him.

Q: Anita, what are your memories about Elvis when Mr. Presley decided to marry Dee?

A: You don't want to know. Do you really wanna know?

Q: I wanna know.

A: Okay, when Elvis came back from Germany he told me that his father had met this woman and his father was gonna bring her over there and this lady was already married with three boys and Elvis said when she came to the house in Germany, she came to visit him, too see him. But he didn't want to see her. She started talking to Mr. Presley. And Elvis told me that one time when she was there with Mr. Presley in the bedroom, that he peeped through the keyhole. And he told me 'I have hated her ever since then', and I'm sorry if this may be offensive today and I'm sorry. He did not like that situation, was extremely against it. But it happened anyway. He had nothing to do with that. I remember when they brought her to Graceland, And we were at the swimming pool and Elvis was just ahh--- 'Daddy are you sure you want to do this? Do you want to do this? Why do you want to do this?' I remember when they moved back into the garage apartment in the mansion. I remember eventually the two of them moved into Mr. and Mrs. Presleys old bedroom. That wasn't very good either. Elvis didn't like that a bit. Ya know, he just wasn't comfortable with it.

That's just what he told me. He didn't like the union. He wasn't happy with it. And I'm sorry if it's offensive and I'm sorry if people don't like this, but this is the truth.

Q: Over the course of the years after you and Elvis parted, how many times did you get to talk to him?

A: Okay, let's see. I saw him at work after that when he caught me in the hall up there after I left him. And I could never get away from him, he had me cornered talking to me. My goodness, my knee's got weak, but I just, ya know, cause I still cared. But I'd still made up my mind that it was over. I saw him then and talked to him and then later after I got married, and I got married in 64, Johnny Brewer, my husband is a professional football player, and he first saw me when I had a date with Elvis at the Memphian Theatre and he said, they were at the gate. He and some fellow football players and Elvis said', You'll come on over to the Memphian Theatre'. And they were in the lobby when we drove up and he said', Boy you walked up with your little nose up in the air and just pushed right on up into that place'. I said', Are you crazy?' When you're with Elvis you never look to the right or the left. He looked straight ahead. I never saw him, but he saw me. That's the first place he ever saw me. But anyway, what did you ask me? What did you want to know?

Q: Did you get see--?

A: Oh yes, after I got married in 1964 and Elvis had married by this time and had his daughter Lisa Marie. By the way, when Elvis and I were dating and talking about having a family, guess what our little girl was going to be named?

Q : I don't know what?

A: Alisa Marie. Guess what my middle name is? Anita Marie. I mean that was just always that was the name, Alisa Marie. And if it was a boy it was going to be Elvis Aron Presley Junior.

Anyway, I thought that was a little coincidence there.

In Las Vegas Johnny was there before and I came with one of my lady friends the next day with my children and I was walking into the lobby and I ran into some of the guys, it might've been Joe and Charlie or Alan. Some of the guys that were there and they saw me and I saw them. I was so glad to see them. And they said', Why don't you come to the show tonight? Elvis wants you to come to the show tonight'. And the tickets were on sale at the door or whatever, ya know'.Okay great'. So I went back upstairs and I asked Johnny if it would be all right if I went to see the show. I ran into some of the guys downstairs and he said sure'.I went to see it last night before you got here. So go ahead and enjoy yourself'.

So this lady friend that I came with, she and I went, and they had us a reserved seat right there in the front. I never will forget it, man he looked so fine up on stage. He was singing right to me. I mean he just looked to me, he talked to me, he sang to me. I was just ooh-my goodness!! After it was over, one of the guys came; I can't remember who came and said 'Elvis wants to see you'. So I said 'Well come on let's go back stage'. So the girl and I went backstage, they brought us back there and we just embraced together. We were so glad to see each other. And he said', Come on in this room, let go in and talk'. So we went in there where there was just a little bed and a chair, just a little private area and closed the door. And all those other guys and Mr. Presley were in there talking and all these people. A bunch of big important people.

Anyway, we went in this little room and sat down and I guess we talked for about an hour. It was a long time. And during his conversation, I remember him saying', I wonder a little if we made the right decision those years ago when we decided to split?' And I said', Well, of course, we made the right decision, because if we hadn't, I wouldn't have my children and you wouldn't have your daughter and that's very important, that was meant to be, that we have these children'. And he told me how much he had missed me. We just talked for a long time about a lot of things you really don't need to know now! And we just visited for a long time and it was very comforting and good and reassuring that, ya know, he still remembered me, I think he still cared as I did for him. Once you care for someone, really care for someone; you always care for them in a way. You know, you never forget that person. If true and loyal. I went back and told Johnny. He said You were in there so long.

Then later when my daddy died, I called him in Las Vegas. My friend got him on the phone, I didn't know how to get in touch with him, I had no idea, but she did. She was married to Jerry Lee Lewis at the time, so maybe that's how she got it. I don't have any idea.

Anyway, she called him on the phone and I remember he came to the phone and he talked so slow. It seemed like Ricky answered the phone maybe. He talked so slow and he didn't sound like himself and I told him what had happened and I wanted him to know that now I can sympathize with him. When I was there when his mom passed away that I understand, and how sad it was for him and he said', Little, get a pen and pencil. I want you to write this poem down. Verbatim. Take a deep breath'. So I took a deep breath. He was in the bedroom, I guess at this time. So anyway, this poem is called', Where does love go when it leaves you?' And I had to write it down, which I have it written down at home on a piece of scratch paper. I think it was on the reverse side of a check or something. And I had to write it down verbatim'.Now read it back to me Little'. And I read it back to him. He said 'Don't ever forget it'. So we talked for a while longer. It's so sad because he doesn't sound like himself much. A little bit, but slow and draggy and not like his effervescent self. The way I remembered him. We just talked for a while and I still have the poem at home.

That might have been the last time I talked to him.

Q: Was 'Funny How Time Slips Away' a special song for you and Elvis?

A: That's a good song'.Funny How Time Slips Away' was a good song.

Q: Cliff told me that he was playing records and played the song over and over and he says', You know why I'm playing it, Cliff'. He said', My heart still burns for Anita'.

A: Oh my goodness. Please don't tell me that. You're going to make me sad. I remember you telling me.

But even back then it made me sad.

Q: You're supposed to be happy.

A: Well. Yes, but just what happened and how it might've been different. What happened, in the end, was very sad, you know. I don't know. Well, that was good to know.

Q: Would you talk about when Elvis got his draft notice?

A: Okay. I can remember the day that Elvis received the draft notice in the mail. And he brought it into us, and Ms. Presley and Mr. Presley and myself. And they were devastated. That's all I can say. They just could not believe that he was gonna have to leave them. And go in the service and do his part, you know. I mean, he didn't mind going and serving, but he really didn't wanna leave his family. I mean, nobody wants to. And his mother was so worried about what would happen to him, and him being away from them.

Q: Did Elvis talk to you about how concerned he was about his mom?

A: Well, you know, I don't think he really knew to what extent she suffered. Because moms have a way of keeping that away from their sons. Or children, period. They don't want them to worry that much. So she would cry and worry after he left on the train. We would go back to Graceland, and she would go to her room. And she would cry and she would worry for a while that evening. So she didn't want him to see -- she put on a brave front. As I tried to do a lot of times when we were separated, you know. But she being a mother, didn't want him to worry. So, you know, I don't think he really understood.

I mean, I know he knew that she missed him. But not to the point that she did.

Q: Did Elvis talk to you much about his childhood?

A: A little bit. Just how close he and his mother were, because his daddy, you know, was gone a lot. And that he was close to her because the dad wasn't there a lot of the time. And they just had a real special relationship because of that reason. She was always there for him, took care of him.

Q: Everybody wants to know, what was Elvis like?

A: He was a good kisser and all that? I get that question all the time.

Q: His heart, and the way he was with other people.

A: Okay. Elvis -- to me he was just a great guy. I mean, when I met him like I say, he was very handsome. Very polite. Very much a gentleman, always. Very humorous. Great sense of humor. Decent young man. I think he was deeply religious. You know we went to church once. Only once. But the reason we didn't go more often was because when we went to church he caused such a commotion that we didn't wanna do that. I mean, we went in the balcony one time. It was on Easter. And we went to the Church of God, Assembly of God. And we went up into the balcony and entered after the service had started. And we had to leave before it was over. And people just wanted to look at him and not listen to the sermon.

And of course, Elvis felt very bad about that. So we didn't go.

We went to a lot of gospel singings. I remember going to many of them, sitting backstage all night long. In Memphis and Nashville. You know, he just loved to sing religious songs. We talked about the fact that Elvis told me that he was saved. Because I was. He told me that he was a Christian. I think later in his life, I don't know what happened with the books and the other kind of religions and everything. But when I knew him, he told me -- he assured me that he did know Jesus as his savior and that he was a Christian because I certainly was. And I was of the Baptist faith. But he was of the Assembly of God. And of course his minister -- we met him, he came to visit him some. And I think he did preach at his mother's funeral.

But he was basically a good person. He was kindhearted. But now let me tell you something. He also had a temper. And we all do. And if someone hurt him, he did not like to get over it. He didn't like, you know, he remembered it. You didn't do Elvis bad twice. If you hurt him, you didn't hurt him again. And another thing was, he was always afraid that people were liking him because of who he was and what he could do for them. And that would be difficult to live with that, don't you think? You know, thinking people really didn't like him because he's this big star and everything. I think that's one reason we got along so good together because I really wasn't impressed. I wasn't a big fan of his when I met him. And I didn't just fall at his feet, you know. I would -- but I learned to know him. And I fell in love with him. Elvis the man, not Elvis the star.

And we had a lot in common because we were both from the South. We had a lot of morals of the same beliefs. And like I say, he was always a gentleman. And I was brought up to be treated as a lady, and he did. But like I said, he was generous to a fault at times. He really would help anybody. A lot of people wanted to take advantage of him from time to time. But he always would help people if he could. He was very generous. Good hearted. Funny, funny. I cannot begin to tell you how funny he was. Delightful to be around. And the minute he'd walk in a room he just lit it up, you know. And it's hard for me to imagine, after all, these years, that people can still be so enamored with him and so taken with him. But when I think back to how he was when I dated him, then I can imagine it. Because he was effervescent. I mean, he was special.

And I thought it was just because he was my boyfriend, you know. Just because I happened to fall in love with him, and he with me. I remember the first time he told me he loved me. It was on the porch of Miss Patty's'.I think I'm falling in love with you a little'. That was real special too. But he was just a down home guy to me. Now later on, after I left his life, I don't know what happened to him. Seems like he kinda maybe changed a little bit. Probably never forgot his roots, but I don't know. I'd have loved to have been with him more, but, you know. Maybe not. You can change anything, but -- because Elvis had a mind of his own. It was difficult to change it once he made his mind up, you know. But he had a lot of loyal guys that loved him too. And they stuck with him to the end and would've done anything. Because they had a lot of money back then. Because the guys really loved him. And I don't know how he got people to love him. It was just his personality. He drew people to him. And they all cared for him a great deal. He was special.

Q: Where were you when you found out Elvis passed away?

A: In my home. I was living in Vicksburg, Mississippi. And a newspaper called me. And wanted to know my reaction. Can you believe my reaction? I was so surprised. And -- what did they expect?

I mean, it was terrible. I couldn't believe it.

It was a great loss. Not only to me, to lose someone that I cared so much for at one time in my life. But to everybody. To the world. His talent. And so young, you know. And it just took me forever to get back to reality after this person told me that. I just couldn't believe it. But they just called wanting to get a response. And that's how I found out about it. On the telephone. From a stranger. It was sad. Sad day.

Q: I think that covers it. Did you think it was his dad?

A: Oh yeah, when they first told me that Elvis had died, I said', Oh no. That's not Elvis. That's his dad. His dad died'. I said', No'. You know. They had a hard time convincing me that it was really him. Cause he was just so young and vital and alive. And I didn't think he was sick. Very sick, you know.

[becauseicantthinkwritings]

Never Quite Enough

Part 3

Part 1 // Part 2

Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, overhearing mean comments, kissing.

"I wish I never met him." You say to the ginger cat.

Butter meows in response.

"Yeah, I think I'd rather he never came up to me at all. Then I could live in ignorance."

You think for a moment, wiggling your index finger under one of his pink paws, hissing when his claws extend to catch at your skin.

"I think not knowing what his laughter tasted like would have been easier." You continue, even though your furry friend doesn't say a word.

You swallow, listening to the jingle of his collar as he rolls over.

"He really is a terrible man."

Butter agrees.

.

You look at the e-mail with a little frown. You can hear sounds of excitement as everyone reads it. There's a garden brunch on Saturday, and you marvel at all the mixers and parties Billy allows in order to keep morale high. It seems to be working, and you think there are probably so many people loyal to the company because of it. This time, you notice that plus ones are invited, and there's a special prize as well.

You sigh, glancing at the antique ring on your finger.

It takes Dex all of one minute before he's at your desk.

"Are you gonna bring Matt?"

You blink at the audacity.

"I'll have to ask." You murmur, looking up at him.

Dex nods, you watch his curly hair bounce in thought.

"I hope he comes. It'll put some rumours to rest."

You almost hate to ask.

"What rumours?"

He steps around the table to stand by your side.

"You didn't hear it from me, but Stacy in Marketing thinks you made him up- but when I heard I stood up for you- but also I don't know who else she's told."

Fucking Stacy.

"Look," you say with a shake of your head, "I'll try to bring him, but if he can't come then there's nothing I can do."

Dex nods, "Yeah I totally get it, Fuck Stacy."

You smile, surprised that his thoughts were in line with yours.

You talk for a few more minutes before he's pulled away.

.

Not many people had known you'd been dating Billy in the first place. It had been mostly the people working around him that had any idea. You'd bent over backwards to make sure no one in your department knew, but Stacy had once found you kissing Billy in the broom closet on the third floor and you knew she knew more than she was supposed to. Billy had asked her not to say anything, yet it just seemed like she was working overtime on a loophole to expose your past relationship.

You wonder why she was so intent on saying all these bad things about you- was she jealous? Or just angry? She probably still thought you and Billy were together, perhaps attempting to spin a story that you'd slept your way to the top, but she couldn't say anything directly, knowing that it would be traced back to her.

It barely mattered to you anyway, until your boss asked casually if you would be bringing Matt to the brunch, and you knew that Stacy's storytelling had gotten to him as well.

You had to take a moment to tell yourself that despite the toxic work environment, this job had many perks to benefit from. You'd struggle to find a good dental plan elsewhere.

.

Butter meows in protest as you knock on your upstairs neighbour's door. He'd torn a paper bag to shreds in your bedroom when you'd found him, and hadn't appreciated being taken from his throne of scraps.

You hear footsteps at the door and then a pause.

"Hello?" A deep voice calls.

You smile at the peephole embedded into the door.

"I believe you're missing an inmate?" You say casually, jingling the little bell on Butter's collar.

Your mouth drops open when he opens the door.

Hot.

Steaming.

He's wearing a plain white t-shirt and boxers.

"So you're his co-parent, hmm?" He asks.

"Yeah," you say, introducing yourself to him.

He smiles, widens his door a little, as something of an invitation.

"I'm Matt." He says in greeting, and you resist the urge to tell him that you know. "Want to come in?"

You probably should have said no, but something about Matt just puts you at ease, disarms you into relaxing around him. The next thing you know, you're putting Butter down on the floor of Matt's living room.

"I hope he hasn't been too much trouble. Honestly I'm glad he's letting someone with proper eyes look him over." Matt says.

You look up at him in confusion.

"You... don't have proper eyes?" You ask slowly, unsure if he's joking or not.

Matt laughs and waves his hands in front of his face.

"I'm like ninety-five percent blind." He informs you.

"Oh, sorry... I didn't know." You mumble, feeling a little awkward, hoping you haven't offended him in any way.

"It's fine, I get by, and Butter chirps if to let me know if I'm about to sit on him."

That gets a laugh out of you, that you cut short when you realise your laugh sounds horrendous.

Matt's smiling along and it hits you with a sense of familiarity, a sweet smile from a man you think wouldn't mind what you have to say.

"So, I did something terrible." You blurt, blinking in horror at your lack of filter.

"Did you?" Matt asks with a tilt of his head.

You nod, taking a seat on his couch with a sigh.

"I was constantly being bothered at work, hit on, you know- asked on dates so I lied."

Matt comes around to sit on the opposite end of the couch. Butter jumps right into his lap. He adjusts the cat accordingly.

"I told everyone I had a boyfriend, and when it wasn't enough... I- I bought a ring." You raise your hand to show him before realising that he can't see it and dropping your hand in embarrassment.

"And now you're asking me to be your pretend boyfriend?"

You raise your head at him in surprise. He gives you a warm smile and you gulp, feeling your heart speed up.

"How did you know?" You ask.

"I mean, it's maybe a little obvious? Just the way you started your story and I kinda figured where this was going." He leans back, "Plus there are a ton of movies about the exact thing."

You smile.

"I know we just met, but there's a party on Saturday, and I'd be honoured if I could introduce you as my fiance, so that everyone would stop bothering me."

Matt nods, his deft fingers roaming in Butter's fur. The cat in question smacks at Matt's hand after a few moments.

"You know we'll have to act like a couple right? Maybe kiss a little?"

"That's okay, I'm not uncomfortable with it. I just-" You let out a slow sigh.

"I just want people to leave me alone."

He nods in understanding, a smile on his face.

"What's the dress code?"

.

"It's perfect." Billy says, admiring the crown of wildflowers.

"Are you sure? There are opinions of peonies and roses available, the wildflowers aren't as... sophisticated."

Billy wasn't going for sophisticated. Billy wanted rustic, untamed, wild and ethereal and you'd look amazing wearing it. Then everyone would see, everyone would appreciate you.

"It's perfect." He repeats to the florist, not taking his eyes from the thistle, trying to imagine it sitting on your head, the smile you'd give him that would spear his heart.

When she leaves, Frank steps in a few minutes later.

"She RSVPED with a plus one." Frank says in greeting.

It's the first time Billy tears his eyes from the crown. His chest burns for a second.

"You're serious?" Billy asks, watching Frank nod.

"She's got someone."

"There's no way." Billy hisses vehemently, walking around to his desk to sit.

"Stop being in denial. This is happening." Frank says calmly.

Billy's forehead thumps against his desk. A moment of silence before he speaks again.

"I just want her back so bad. I don't think I'll be able to look at her with someone else."

Frank puts a firm hand on his shoulder.

"You need to tell her everything, but also let her make her own choices."

Billy's head is still pressed to the table as he nods his head, he tries to understand, but deep down he knows that seeing you with someone else is going to rip him apart.

.

Matt definitely looks better than you do. You smile at him and you try not to acknowledge that they're already going to like him more than they like you.

When he asks for your guidance to the uber, you gladly link your arms in his.

"This isn't too fast for you?" You ask curiously, "I mean, we just met and I'm going to introduce you as my soon-to-be husband?"

Matt has the decency to look shy when he smiles, and for the first time in a while, your heart gives a solid kick.

"It is really fast," Matt agrees, "but honestly, I could never resist someone in need of help."

Your heart swells, you open the taxi door, smiling at the driver, confirming the address.

"And," he adds in, leaning into you a little and you catch hints of his cologne, "honestly, I maybe owe you for being so nice to Butter. He isn't... well... he isn't known for his sweetness."

A smile pulls on your lips thinking about the rambunctious feline.

"He is a troublemaker." You agree in passing and Matt grins.

"Where did you get him?"

When Matt's smile falters, you try to backtrack.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't-"

"-It's fine, it's okay, it's an innocent question." Matt interrupts, one of his warm hands covering yours.

"Butter belonged to my ex. When we broke up, it was really hard, and she left him behind so I wouldn't have to be alone."

"She sounds amazing." You whisper.

"She was, but I couldn't give her what she wanted, and she was smart to leave."

You frown, reaching up to squeeze his shoulder. You wish you could say something to comfort him, but you can't, you can't lie and tell him it gets better when you're actively avoiding your emotions, wishing you didn't ever exist because you didn't want to feel ever again. Thankfully, the reassuring squeeze is enough in the moment.

.

"I don't mean to point out the flaws in your plan, but we never even came up with a backstory." Matt says, standing on the sidewalk near the venue.

You break into laughter.

"Oh Matt," you say with an affectionate tone, "No one's going to ask me any questions. Nobody likes me." You feel your chest squeeze.

Matt frowns at you, but keeps walking.

"I'm sure that's not true." He says.

"It is, but anyway, we met a month ago, we hit it off, and now we're dating, don't mention the engagement unless someone asks. If you're not sure about an answer, squeeze my hand. And just," You bump your shoulders against his, "keep it light."

You paint a smile on your face as you enter the building. An usher guides you out back to the prettiest garden party you've ever seen.

The tables are filled with gorgeous flowers, only accentuated with white tablecloths, to bring out the colours. There are butterflies everywhere, attracted by the sweet nectar-filled flowers. Your breath catches on the ropes of wisteria hanging from above.

"Describe it to me." Matt says beside you, and you look at him with a smile.

"It's gorgeous," you say, "something out of a fairytale, there are flowers everywhere, every colour and shape. And so many butterflies, the blue morpho and the green hairstreak and the clouded yellow and-" You pause, realising you've shared a bit too much about yourself.

"You know a lot about butterflies." Matt murmurs, your eyes squeeze shut.

"Yeah, sorry, I get distracted." You say on a rushed breath.

"No, it's okay, I'd like to hear about them, they sound beautiful."

You swallow, glad you don't have to fake a smile for him.

"I'm actually a little thirsty. Are you?"

Matt accepts the conversation change, extending his elbow to you.

"Lead the way."

.

Even the drinks have flowers in them. A sprig of lavender in your prosecco, and a yellow viola in Matt's whiskey. The bartender is happy to let you know that all the flowers in the food and drink are edible, but you already know that.

"I didn't have a chance to ask before, but what are you wearing?" Matt asks.

A little laugh escapes your throat, and then a larger one when he raises his eyebrows in question.

"Sorry, its not a question that's usually asked without an innuendo." You explain, "I'm wearing a pink dress."

Matt smiles, "Floor length?"

"Yeah, and there's a slit on one leg."

"That sounds beautiful, I bet you look breathtaking." He says to you.

Your smile falls.

"Thank you." You murmur to him.

"You don't believe me?"

No, you respond internally, but you're spared from answering when someone says your name.

Dex happily approaches, and you smile at him.

He takes you into a hug, that makes you a little confused since this is the first time he's ever displayed that level of affection toward you.

"This must be Matt!" Dex says and you smile.

You introduce both men, and it's very easy and casual, you listen to the conversation, learning all the details you can about Matt, considering that you didn't really know him at all.

Your mistake is letting your eyes wander, admiring the decor, watching a white butterfly touch your shoulder on its way to a purple coneflower.

It's how you find him. Dressed in a white shirt, his broad back to you as he talks to someone. He looks busy, and there's a warm tug in your stomach as you momentarily forget his crimes. You could blame it on the atmosphere, one that's too serene for the incredible heartbreak you're in. But you forget, and when he turns, scans the room, meets your eyes and gives you a little smile, you feel inclined to give him a little smile back.

Until he looks beside you, and his smile drops.

He's got to be a really incredible actor, for you to be able to witness what you can only describe as heartbreak in his eyes, lasting only a moment before a stoic expression takes its place.

Somehow, you manage to feel sorry for him, when you know you shouldn't. You think that time has made you softer to his betrayal in some way, a thought that sparks anger.

You look away from him, back to Matt,  quietly reminding yourself of Billy's bad deeds.

Your entire relationship had been fake. When he'd held you tight after sex, it hadn't been real, when he'd tugged you into a random closet at work, palming at your ass, telling you that he couldn't go another second without you. That had been fake too.

Matt squeezes your hand as Dex excuses himself to greet other people. You look up at him with a smile.

"Are you okay?" Matt asks.

"Yeah, you're doing good." You reply.

"Of course I am, I make a good fake boyfriend."

That makes you laugh.

"Well I think Dex is probably the one person that would ask the most amount of questions, so I think we're safe for now."

Matt grins.

"Want another drink?"

"Sure." You say, heading back to the little bar.

.

Billy can only watch you together with him and hate himself.

It's the first time he's seeing you genuinely laugh since the break up, and though you're laughing with that guy, you're still laughing and he likes that.

His chest is filled with this mixture of happiness and agony. Happy to see you smile, even if it doesn't really meet your eyes, and pain that you're not smiling at him.

What Billy wouldn't give to have you smile at him.

It's why he did all of this after all. He'd memorised all the flowers you'd told him you liked, from that time you shyly showed him your cottagecore Pinterest board, and he'd tried to get as much of them as possible. He knew you liked butterflies too, after he'd heard you gushing about them to Andrew- which was how the bet had started in the first place. It hadn't been easy to bring in that many butterflies, but he'd done it, because every time you smiled at one, his heart would skip a beat.

He wanted you back so badly it hurt. He was determined to not let you go.

He'd do anything for your smile.

.

When you start to feel hungry, there's a lovely table serving an array of bite sized foods, beautifully crafted and delicious, it's odd, that there are so many things you like, in beautiful styles that accentuate the theme of the party.

The food spans a large range, from savoury crab cakes and meatballs to sweet minuscule cheesecakes. Even the vegan options are amazing and you enjoy sampling everything willingly.

Matt is delightful, asking you what he's stabbed his little fork into before he places it into his mouth and you get to appreciate him deep in thought while he assesses all the flavours.

"Thank you for coming with me." You say to him softly, bumping his shoulder.

He smiles.

"I'm happy to. Honestly, I haven't done anything like this since- well... you know..."

You wanted to ask what he meant by 'this', but you think you'd wait till the end of the day to make any kind of corrections on Matt's assumptions.

"It's honestly pretty lame when you're alone." You confess to him, looking around and remembering a time you weren't quite so alone in places like these. Too bad it was fake.

You blink, sighing with the weight of your pain.

"Can I confess something to you?" Matt asks, and you nod, raising your head to look up at him.

When he only waits expectantly, you realise your mistake.

"Oh, um, yeah."

He grins.

"You nodded, didn't you."

"Yes." You say shyly.

"Don't fret, happens all the time. Anyway-" he steps in closer, and your eyes widen. His hand moves over your shoulder so that he hugs you from the side.

"I have a superpower." He whispers to you.

You gulp.

"Oh?"

He nods.

"Losing my sight made my hearing really really good."

"...Right." you say, confused.

"It means I can pick up on things that you're trying to hide. Something else happened, didn't it?"

"What- what makes you say that?" You whisper to him.

"Because there's a man standing across the room facing us, and he's really pissed."

You don't look immediately. You blink at Matt for a long moment.

"How do you know he's pissed?" You ask.

"Heavy breathing. Racing heart. His fists are clenched."

"You can hear his fists clenching?" You ask in disbelief.

"Why don't you take a look and tell me." He challenges.

You do it casually, turning and pretending you're really looking for something in the room and when your eyes meet Billy's- he glances away.

"I can't see his hands, they're in his pockets." You murmur, and Matt hums in acceptance.

"Is he an old boyfriend?" He asks.

You turn back to him in surprise.

"You got all that from his heartbeat and his fists?" You ask, amazed.

"Not just him. You too."

Your shoulders sag in realisation.

"Oh. Yeah. We broke up a couple of weeks ago." You mumble looking down at the ground.

Matt pulls you in closer, his hand slipping down your shoulder and cupping your hip gently. The sensation is a little uncomfortable, especially since you barely know him.

"Is that the real reason you asked me here? To make him jealous?"

Your frown deepens.

"Jealous? N-no he doesn't even like me. I really just needed help with my coworkers and you've done that so well."

Matt seems to think for a long moment. Gradually, you grow used to his touch.

"So why do you think he's pissed?" He asks you.

You ponder for a moment, wondering how much to tell him. An orange monarch flutters by. You fight the urge to look back at Billy.

"I think he's mad because he's trying to get me back to prove a point. To prove that he can."

Matt doesn't respond, and when you open your mouth to ask a question, you're distracted by a little crowd gathering. A woman steps up, her voice is gentle and commanding. You think she's one of the newer media managers, and she looks delighted to announce that there's a prize to be won.

You have a little epiphany when you see the flower crown. It's something right out of your daydreams, you remember cooing in delight when you first saw something like it in a movie you were both watching. You were tucked into his side, your bare legs intertwined with his.

"I love flower crowns so much." You'd said, admiring each actress wearing one. Billy had hummed, deep in thought, and you didn't think he'd remembered a detail so minuscule.

"The flowers on those don't look like anything special. Wouldn't roses be prettier?" He'd asked. 

You'd simply told him no, that the flowers were beautiful because they were basic. A seemingly pretty item turned beautiful with just a bit more care and attention. Something you'd always wished about yourself. That you could be an ordinary thing made more beautiful by the things around you.

You hold your breath when you meet his eyes, unable to do both with the raw emotion inside you. Across the room, he's looking right back at you. The ache takes a second to hit you.

Do you really see me? You wonder, or was this just another game?

"Oh wow, it's really pretty, like in that movie! The weird one... with the cult." Someone says.

Midsommar.

It had become one of your favourite movies.

"The horror?" Another person asks, "With that girl from that other thing?"

Yes. Midsommar, you think, inching forward to look at the crown. Matt moves curiously with you, but you're not really paying attention to him as much.

"I can't remember the name of the movie. What was it again?" The first person continues speaking.

It's Midsommar. It's Midsommar. It's Midsommar.

"It's Midsommar." He says, and you swallow because he's right beside you now, and when he turns to glance at you, and you feel your stomach flip, everything makes sense.

It had been designed all for you.

The flowers, the butterflies, the food, the drink, even the crown...

Billy had thrown this entire event for you.

It's bittersweet. There's a warmth in your heart and a pang in your throat and you love it but you're in pain and you're barely aware that Billy is introducing himself to Matt.

"Hey, Billy Russo, Anvil CEO." He says extending a hand.

"Matt Murdock. Attorney." Matt responds, not extending his hand in return.

There's an awkward moment of silence before you lean in toward Matt.

"He's got a hand out for you to shake." You whisper and Matt makes a sound of realisation, reaching for Billy's hand.

"Apologies, I keep forgetting that without my stick, I look like I can see."

You try not to laugh and fail a little.

When Billy asks what Matt's relationship to you is, you feel your heart jump into your throat. Which was ridiculous. It's not like Billy liked you anyway.

"Matt's my boyfriend." You answer for Matt, knowing that Billy would see through your engagement story. It had only been around three weeks since you'd ended things with him. Saying that Matt was your fiance would raise too many flags.

Billy's eyes move to yours. A pained expression flits across his face before his features settle into a stony mask.

He nods, leaning away from you.

"Well, I hope you two have a nice time. Nice meeting you Matt."

Matt doesn't get a chance to respond before Billy turns and walks away.

"Well now I know for a fact that he likes you." Matt confesses when you're out of earshot of anyone else.

"How so?" You say softly to him, too deep in your head, concern for Billy eating at you.

"Everytime he looks at you. His heart races."

You look at Matt. You really look at him.

"It can't be true. He broke my heart." You murmur in that same soft voice.

Matt doesn't try to protest, a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"Come on, let's go for a walk in the little maze people keep talking about."

.

Billy's hands shake as he walks away from you.

A boyfriend? So soon? Billy was still trying to get his feet back under him after losing you and you'd taken the time to find a boyfriend?

He was probably just a rebound. Someone you could use to take your mind off of him, but the thought of you getting over him was sour through and through.

He tosses back two whiskeys before he can focus.

It felt like shattering. Like being consumed from the inside out. There was you, and there was someone beside you that wasn't him and in the time it takes Frank to find him, Billy begs any god listening for a second chance.

Frank's hand slaps down affectionately on Billy's shoulder.

"How are we doing?" Frank's asks.

Billy takes a third drink.

"I'm an asshole." He responds.

"You got that right." Frank agrees.

"I didn't think she would- I just want to-" Billy sighs in frustration, frowning when he can't get the words out.

"Sometimes there's a voice inside of me calling me to do bad things. The first time I heard that voice shut up was when I was with her."

Frank takes a sip of his drink.

"I hear that brother," he sympathises, "the war never really leaves us, right?"

"...right." Billy agrees.

"Don't give up just yet. The plan might be a little longer, but it's a good plan. Castles don't quit."

Billy's mouth curves up. He was a Castle too.

"Thanks Frank. That means a lot."

He gives Billy a reassuring nod.

.

"What a fucking douchebag." Is Matt's first response when you explain Billy's betrayal.

You laugh, loudly, before catching yourself and smothering the sound.

"Yeah." You say, voice laced with humour, "It is what it is."

"Okay, but, you're not annoying. Like, at all." Matt argues.

"Thanks." You say, believing that he only thinks like that because you've been holding back on him, fighting the urge to ramble at every opportunity.

The walls of the maze are a little high above your head and you giggle when you get to a crossroads and you turn one way and Matt turns the other way.

"Come on. Let's go this way."

You don't even bother to think about it.

"Okay, sure."

He leads you down a dead end, to a statue of Aphrodite, standing behind a white marble bench.

"How did you know this was here?" You ask, amazed.

"There's something here? I have no idea." Matt responds.

"It's a white statue of Aphrodite, standing on a seashell, her hair is flowing. It's a popular one."

When you get close enough, you guide one of Matt's hands to her knee, so that he has an idea of the texture.

"You're familiar with Greek gods too?"

You look down with a little bit of shame in your expression.

"Yeah..."

"Don't be shy about it, it's really cool. What do you know about her?"

You look up at her, and you give Matt a quick summary of her violent origins. Born from the sea foam of her father's decapitated testicles.

"Ouch." Matt sympathises.

You grin at him, bumping his shoulder with yours playfully.

"Someone's coming." Matt says, turning his head to listen. You go quiet too, you think you can barely hear what he hears.

"Stacy, I think her name is... and a few more people."

"Fucking Stacy." You whisper to yourself.

Matt grins.

"You don't like her?"

"She started the rumour that you were fake in the first place."

Matt hums in thought.

"Wanna give them something to talk about?"

You smile at him.

When the group stumbles upon the two of you, they find Matt's arms wrapped securely around you, kissing you breathless.

You break apart at the first gasp you hear and you smile, apologising to the group, before tugging at Matt and pulling him past.

You're both laughing wildly as you escape the maze. You suck in air, quickly let out on staccato breaths and you only pause when you turn your head to realise how public the space you're in really is.

Your lips don't tingle, not like the first time they did when you kissed- him, but you still find that you're willing to do it again, because Matt's a very very good kisser.

"Sorry if it was bad for you." You say to him, worried that kissing you, like everything else about you, was unpleasant.

"Are you kidding? You were amazing." Matt's expression sobers.

"Did someone tell you that you were bad at it? Because they'd be insane."

"No, no, no," you say quickly, "I'm just... making sure."

He grins, leans forward, kissing your cheek gently.

"I'd do that all day if you'd let me." Matt whispers seductively in your ear, and your mouth drops open in shock and arousal.

"Oh, you are trouble, Matthew Murdock." You say, taking his hand and heading back to the bar with him.

.

It's hard to pretend you don't notice... but you catch some people talking about you. It's subtle, and it's not a lot of people, but it's the way they glance at you every now and then that gives it away.

You try to ignore it, you realise you hate the way it feels, wishing you hadn't been caught kissing Matt in the first place.

Your shoulders drop. You hated this feeling. You look up again and make eye contact with one of them. They look away, laughing.

Maybe you really should quit.

Between this and Billy- you really begin to debate how necessary your job is.

You look down at your feet.

Why weren't you made to be someone better? Why did you have to be this way?

You sip your drink forlornly, only raising your head when the caged ball begins to spin. You look up, watching the little papers inside the ball toss and tumble as it turns, curious to see which name would be chosen.

Matt, who'd been busy taking a call, returns to your side as the ball stops rolling.

"Sorry about that." He says to you, and you turn your head to look at him, smiling.

"It's okay, you didn't miss anything." You say on a hushed breath.

"I missed you." He responds easily, and you grin at him, not hearing the first time your name is called.

You turn your head in surprise as your name is called again. Marissa, who you'd learned was the new media consultant, looks around the room expectantly.

"I think you just won." Matt says, a firm hand on the small of your back pushing you forward and your mouth drops open in surprise.

You take a hesitant step, and then people begin applauding for you when they catch sight.

The lights at the front are bright, and they dazzle you when you get closer, weaving through the small crowd of people to approach a smiling Marissa.

You swallow when she ushers you toward an expectant Billy.

Had he planned this?

You can't help the excitement that simmers inside of you when he reaches for the leafy crown. It's gorgeous and it's going on your head and for the first time in a long while, you let your excitement show on your face.

You don't look at him when he places it on your head, but when it's finally there, you build up the courage to meet his eye. You can't help the genuinely happy smile that spreads on your face. He gives you a pleased look in return.

The crown prickles your scalp as you tilt your head a little, accommodating for the weight of it. He leans forward until his face is beside yours, you resist the urge to make a sound as his cheek brushes yours, his beard rubbing harmlessly against your face.

"You're beautiful." He says softly, and you close your eyes tight for a second, squeezing both hands into fists for a moment, unable to process all your feelings about this.

Thankfully, you're in public, and everyone is watching you, which means Billy doesn't have a chance to say anything else, and you can smile gracefully and step away from him without any excuse.

.

It hurts to watch you walk away.

You're a vision with the crown of flowers on your head and your dress flowing around you and you remind him of some goddess he once read about that was so beautiful that a dark being fell in love with her and he thinks he feels the same because he wants to beg on his knees for just a second more in your presence.

He'd do it so easily that it scares him. He's never knelt for another soul willingly but he would for you because he knows you.

The knowing is the worst part.

The sound of your laughter on his lips and your quiet gasps in his ear and the way he made you wriggle in the morning with ticklish kisses to all your most sensitive spots and Billy knows too much.

He knows what Matt tastes when he kisses you next, when you return to his side and Billy watches him slowly lean in to place a firm kiss on your lips. The way he felt when your lips were on his is seared into his head except that he's forgetting how it actually felt and there's something inside Billy that's cracking from the pain.

It's unlike anything he's ever felt before, like being set on fire, or breaking every bone in his body, maybe those things would hurt less than this.

You laugh at something Matt says when he pulls back, but it doesn't meet your eyes. Billy watches you take his hands and help him feel around the crown of flowers, and you both smile together.

He doesn't realise that everyone has already dissipated back into their casual conversations until Frank squeezes his shoulder.

"You're staring." Frank says.

"I love her." Billy murmurs, half in realisation, half in fear.

Frank squeezes his shoulder in sympathy, unable to say anything.

.

When Matt stiffens during your little ramble of the flowers on your head, you pause.

You watch him turn his head in the direction of Billy and Frank conversing across the room and you frown.

"Am I talking too much?" You ask in a small voice.

He turns his head back to you quickly.

"Not at all, sorry I just got a little distracted for a moment there. You were saying?"

"The um... purple ones are daisies... they're little and have a yellow centre."

"Sounds very pretty." Matt hums.

You smile, a real one, and you feel the happiness wash over you.

"They are very pretty I'm so excited." You confess.

Matt smiles along with you.

"I can tell, I bet you look beautiful. I'm sure you do."

You swallow, a little smile tilting on your face. He looks so unbelievably genuine when he says it, you have to glance away to collect your feelings.

The rest of the evening is good, so many people give you compliments on your look and you feel like your face hurts from all the smiling you've done. There are some butterflies attracted to the flowers in your crown and you're happy to allow the company hired photographer to take a few shots of you alone, and then of you and Matt and Dex and some other coworkers.

You try your hardest not to ramble on about the flowers or the butterflies, keeping your answers short and you think that it's what probably makes people like you a little bit more.

It doesn't last, and you should have known better.

You're in the corridor outside the bathroom when you hear it. A small group of people around the corner from where you are, talking.

"I heard her going on about the different flowers on the crown to her fiance. I feel so sorry that the poor guy had to go through that." One voice says, and the words make you freeze. It was clearly about you.

"I know right! Does she ever shut up?" You hear someone else speak, and you begin to back away in shame.

"He's lucky he's blind because I wouldn't want to-"

You can't listen to any more, turning on your heel and immediately stopping short when you catch Billy standing behind you.

You know he's heard what they said, same as you, standing too close to the corner to pretend you haven't heard that it's you they're making fun of, their voices loud, echoing down the hall.

His eyes are dark, and filled with denial on your behalf. He gives a little  shake of his head.

It's not true, he seems to say.

Your heart screams in your chest, and you don't say a word, you keep your face calm, walking around him and heading down the corridor, back the way you came.

You dart into the first empty room you can find, a room with various pieces of art settled on the walls and a white bench in the middle for viewing. You take in a deep breath, and you let out a big sigh, felling every ounce of happiness drain out of you completely. You wonder about all the annoying things you've done and said to deserve those comments. You should have just kept to yourself. You shouldn't have left the safety of your apartment at all.

You fight the tears, numb from the pain, and aching for a release that you're not ready to give.

.

It's where he finds you, sitting on a little marble bench in the middle of the room. Your back is to him as he steps forward. Billy thinks hard about what he's going to say. He thinks simply about the revenge he's going to get on your behalf

.

You hated being you. Nothing would change that. You should have learned by not that people would never like you for you.

"None of that was true." He says behind you, and you let out another long sigh, your shoulders drop at his words.

You don't say anything, reaching up to take the stupid crown off your head and look at the little leaves and wildflowers woven in.

Billy sits in the spot beside you.

"Do you hear me? Nothing about you is even remotely annoying."

You swallow the lump in your throat. What a load of bullshit he was serving you.

You raise your head, blinking back tears. You should have known you couldn't be happy for long.

"I love hearing you talk about the things you like. You get so happy and I love seeing you happy because it makes me happy too." Billy continues, even though you haven't spoken.

"Stop." You whisper with a shaky voice.

"You can hate me how much you want. I won't have you believe lies. Those fuckers are just jealous of you."

"Jealous of what, Billy? My dumb sense of humour? My weird, niche interests? My ugly laugh?" You stop talking to take deep breaths. Trying to push the sorrowful feeling away.

"None of that is-"

"It doesn't matter." You say with a shake of your head, cutting him off.

Your breath catches when he slides in closer. Your leg is pressed to his, your shoulder to his, you look up at him in surprise as a tear spills down your face.

He reaches for the handkerchief in his breast pocket, dabbing the plum material over your cheek to soak up the tear without pulling any of your makeup off.

"You are gorgeous, and smart and witty and sure, maybe your sense of humour isn't for everyone, but no one's humour is. But I think you're funny, and I love the way you smile, and I think people are jealous of you because you've got that light inside you that makes to stand out in a room even when you're not trying." Billy says.

You don't look at him, because he's looking at you, and you're afraid to look into his eyes because you're afraid of what you might find... and what you may not.

You give a shake of your head.

"I'm nothing special." You murmur, moving to give him the flower crown, placing it onto his lap.

You watch his hands pick up the crown.

"You are the most special person. I'd spend the rest of my life proving that to you if I have to."

He raises the crown, and gently, sets it back on your head.

You finally look up to meet his warm eyes. Your heart stutters in your chest. His words couldn't be true, they couldn't be anything more than a game.

He cups your cheek, leaning in.

You wonder if this could be a part of the bet. If it is, you think you're okay with letting it happen.

You close your eyes as his nose brushes yours, his face slants a little to allow his lips to meet yours.

It's only one kiss, but it stretches for lifetimes and you wouldn't have it any other way. His hand is still on your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin in soothing movements, you feel your body relax, your mind clears. Kissing him pushes away the bad thoughts, it makes you feel whole, and for a moment, it's just you and him in frozen time, being reminded of how amazing being with him was.

Before-

You break the kiss slowly, looking away from him, feeling lighter than you have in days.

"Why did you do that?" You whisper, too afraid that your voice will break whatever link you have to him- however fragile it might already be.

"Because I wanted to." He says lowly, as if he understands the delicate nature of things.

You swallow, standing up on shaky legs, wobbling a little as your feet protest the distance from him.

"I should go." You say, turning away, never meeting his eye as you walk out the door.

You don't see the way his shoulders drop.

.

.

.

[allthemenofmydreams]

Back Home with a Trophy & a Baby- Ben Chilwell

It was the week of the champions final, Ben was busy with training and some interviews. But in his free time at night, he would lie next to me and always lay his head on my growing belly and talk sweet words to our baby.

I was 8 months pregnant, and we still didn't know what sex our baby was. We wanted it to be a surprise, even though we were dying to know. When the team reached the Champions League final and found out that it would be played in Porto. Ben and I started having little arguments on whether or not I should attend the final. Due to my condition, I was not recommended to get on a plane, especially when you are at a stage where the baby could be born at any moment.

The day before he left we had another little talk. We still hadn't decided if I would attend the game or not. Although the doctor had given us green light for me to attend the game because everything was under control and it wasn't a long flight. According to him, the baby was going to stay in my belly for a couple more weeks, but Ben wasn't so sure. He feared that maybe I would start having contractions during the flight or, worse, that the baby would want to be born while he was at the game.

I was in the kitchen making dinner when he got home.

"I think you should stay," Ben said, placing a flight ticket and the game pass over the table. "I will be more relaxed if you stay, but I will also feel at ease knowing that you are in the stands supporting me, so... I let it up to you".

I walked and stood in front of him, placing my arms around his neck and playing with his hair. I looked him in the eyes and said

"I'm going to be fine, I mean we're going to be fine." I took his hand and placed it on my belly so he could feel the baby move.

Ben smiled and kissed me on the forehead.

"I know, I just can't help but worry about you two".

"How would you feel if I thought about it over the next few days, and let you know what I've decided?"

"I'm fine with that." He smiled and then said, "what's that smell?"

"Oh, I made your favorite food because I was craving it," He laughed and walked over to the stove to serve himself a plate.

"Let's have dinner then"

In the morning, Ben got up early for a final training session at Cobham before leaving for Portugal.

"Please, let me know what you decide Y/N, whether you go or stay¨ Ben said, taking his things and placing them in the back of the car.

I was in my pajamas standing in the door frame leading to our garage watching his movements. It was very early, but I had to say goodbye to him and wish him good luck because, whether I was going or not, it was very likely that I would see him after the game.

"We're staying, so don't worry. The baby and I want you to stay focused." Ben came over to me and kneeled, placing his hands and forehead on my belly.

"I'm going to get that win and bring that trophy home so when you grow up I can tell you about that great day."

Pregnancy hormones and Ben's words made me cry. He stood up and looked me in the eyes.

"I know I'm going to see you in a couple of days, but I don't want to leave without saying thank you"

"Thank you for what?" I asked, confused with my voice shaking from crying.

"For making me the luckiest man alive, because you are an extraordinary woman who is doing a great job with our baby. I can't wait to have him or her in our arms."Ben placed his hands on my cheeks and put his forehead on mine, "I love you so much Y/N, thank you for being my support, I don't know what I would do without you"

"I love you too Ben, thank you for all you have done for us, and for showing us not to give up and work on our dreams, I know you are a great team and you are going to win. I don't need to wish you good luck, because that victory is already yours." I gave him a soft and deep kiss. Whenever Ben plays away I get a little touchy, even though I know he'll be back in a day or two.

We hugged one more time before he got in the car and drove away.

I walked into the house and saw the tickets on the table. Even when I had told Ben that I would stay because I didn't want to worry him and needed him to keep the promise he had made to our baby before he left. I told the Footballer a little white lie.

The next day, I got dressed in comfortable clothes, grabbed my suitcase, and called an Uber to take me to the airport.

As we took off, I remembered that I hadn't told Ben about my change of plans. After a couple of hours, we landed, everything under control and the baby still in my belly. It was a safe and quiet flight and I slept through it. On the way to the hotel, I was thinking about how to communicate to Ben that I was not in London but Porto.

After checking into the hotel and settling into my room, I sent a message to Ben.

Y/N Babe, I need to tell u smth

He replied almost immediately.

Benjamin Please don't tell me the baby is born

I laughed at his worries.

Y/N Nop, baby still on my belly

Benjamin Phew! then what's it?

Y/N You won't believe me, but we're here

Benjamin Here? where? He didn't understand

Y/N Porto.

I replied straight to the point.

It's been 5 minutes since I told him I was in Portugal and he still doesn't answer my message. I don't know whether to worry. Maybe he got annoyed. A couple of minutes later my cell phone showed an incoming call from Ben, and as soon as I answered I heard his voice.

"It was that a joke y/n? because if it was..." I interrupted him.

"It wasn't a joke Ben, I'm here in Portugal. I'm at the hotel"

"Oh my god! you're such a liar, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I changed my mind at the last minute, everything went so fast that I forgot to tell you."

"I can't believe you did it... "

"Are you mad at me?" I asked out of the blue. I couldn't deal with the feeling of guilt for not telling him.

"What! no, I'm not mad. I'm actually glad you're here."

We kept talking for a little longer until we had to end the call because of his pre-match duties.

It's Saturday morning, game day. I sent a text to Ben wishing him good luck and that I would see him later to celebrate. Later I was already in the stands waiting for the game to start. The opening ceremony gave me goosebumps. It was unbelievable. I was glad I was at the game and didn't miss this special day; because I couldn't have lived knowing how everyone was talking about this special day and I didn't get to see it.

The teams took to the field and lined up in front of the sideline for the anthem once again. I noticed that Chelsea's number 21 was discreetly looking for me. When he found me, he signaled to let me know he had seen me. The signal was to run his hand through his hair, so the fans wouldn't go looking for the person he had waved at. Which made it a special moment between us.

The stadium erupted in cheers and celebrations when Kai scored the goal that gave us the lead. I screamed and celebrated as I had never done before. We were winning. A few minutes before the end of the first half, I felt a liquid running down my legs, had I peed?

In the bathroom, while wiping myself, I realized that it wasn't pee, but that my water had broken. I tried to stay calm and not panic; there was still halftime left to play. I took a deep breath, adjusted my dress, and went back to the stands.

The referee added 7 minutes. My nerves were clutching my stomach, plus the baby was also nervous because I could feel it moving. When the ref blew the final whistle I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding, it was the longest 7 minutes of my life.

Everyone in the stands was celebrating, the boys and Ben were hugging each other. They couldn't believe it. I was so happy celebrating and watching the awards that for a moment I forgot my water had broken. It was a little pain that reminded me that the baby could be born at any moment.

When they allowed the families to enter the field, Ben came for me. The huge smile on his face and the medal around his neck made me emotional. As soon as he was near we hugged and both burst into tears. I was so proud of him, I still couldn't believe he was Champion of Europe.

"You did it!" I told him wiping the tears that were running down his cheeks "I told you you would be a champion, I am so proud of you".

"I still can't believe it, I'm over the moon," he smiled and kissed my temple "Thank you! Thank you for coming and being here with me"

"I couldn't miss this day for anything in the world"

"I'm glad you didn't miss it"

We continued celebrating until the guys went back to the locker room to get ready for the celebration party.

We had just arrived at the place when I started to feel stronger pains. I didn't want Ben to miss the party, so I tried to mask them with the breathing exercises I had been taught in my prenatal classes. But I couldn't take it anymore and doubled over in pain.

"Babe, you okay?" Ben asked, kneeling next to me. I shook my head.

"I think the baby is coming," I said, inhaling and exhaling. "at halftime my water broke".

"What? Why didn't you tell me before?" his voice sounded worried.

"Because... at that moment... it didn't hurt." my voice cracked in pain.

"We have to go to a hospital" he took out his cellphone and asked for an Uber to the nearest hospital.

When we arrived, the nurses attended to me quickly and took me to a room. They asked me a couple of questions, luckily they spoke English. Ben filled out the paperwork for my admission, while we waited for the doctor. As soon as he came in and checked me over and said.

"This baby is ready" what! but it was still a couple of weeks before I was due. "Get things ready for delivery and call the pediatrician."

All the nurses started moving quickly and I started to freak out.

"Calm down," Ben said, taking my hand and kissing me "It's going to be okay, I'm with you."

"Okay," the doctor said, "on my signal, you're going to push as hard as you can, okay?", I nodded.

"You can do it, sweetie, now it's your turn to bring our trophy into the world."

"Now!" the doctor said.

After pushing three or four times, I heard our baby cry.

"Congratulations! It's a boy," the doctor said. "Do you want to cut the umbilical cord?" he asked, looking at Ben, and Ben nodded. A nurse handed Ben a pair of scissors. Watching him cut the cord was the most beautiful moment.

As soon as it was cleaned up, they took the baby away to check that he was healthy and strong because he had been born a couple of weeks earlier. strong because he had been born a couple of weeks before.

"You did great Y/N," Ben said, kissing my lips "he is going to be fine".

Ben texted our family and the lads at Chelsea to let them know that everything had gone well and that the baby was healthy.

A couple of hours later a nurse came in with our little boy in her arms and handed him to me.

I couldn't believe that this little human being had come out of me.

"Look at him, he is as handsome as his daddy," said Ben next to me, I let out a little laugh.

"I know, he's going to be a little heartbreaker."

"I don't know which one of you two I should thank, but you have certainly made this day unforgettable" Ben's eyes were covered with a couple of tears, he was over the moon, "I'm a double champion, I won a title and a baby".

"Who knew you were going to come home with a trophy and a baby," I laughed.

Our baby was still very small but I did not doubt that he was a clone of Ben.

Since everything was under control and he was a healthy baby, the next day they let us go. So our little guy came out dressed in a Chelsea onesie that the team sent us, plus other essentials for Ben and I that we didn't have because it was all unexpected. They also sent us the baby seat so we could take him home.

We didn't know if taking a newborn on a plane was a good idea, but we couldn't stay longer in Portugal. Luckily, the doctor said there was no problem, as our baby was healthy and could handle a couple of hours on the plane. At the hospital they helped us with the paperwork so we didn't have any problems when we arrived in London.

I was glad we were going back to London with the rest of the team because then Ben could still celebrate with them. The kids and families watching us were excited, all wanting to meet little Ben.

"Congratulations, Dad," Mason said as soon as he saw his teammate.

"Thanks, buddy," they hugged. "Would you like to be his godfather?"

Mason smiled and said.

"No need to ask."

When we found out I was pregnant, we spent more time wondering who was going to be our baby's godfather rather than thinking about names. We both agreed it would be Mason since he was a close friend of both of ours.

As soon as we landed we went straight home. We wanted to rest and assimilate everything that had happened over the weekend. I was glad that our baby was born early because Ben was able to be present at the birth and enjoy our boy for a couple of days before he left for his international duties.

[professorsnape394]

The Potions Master’s Apprentice

Chapter Sixteen: Halloween

A/N: This is the sixteenth part to my fanfiction ‘The Potions Master’s Apprentice (Severus Snape x OC)’. Chapters 1-16 can be found already uploaded on Wattpad under the same name. Feel free to leave requests in my inbox for anything Snape related you want me to write. Leave a comment below if you wish to be added to my tag list.

Pairing: Severus Snape x OC (Dumbledore’s Granddaughter)

Summary: A talented young witch is employed as an apprentice professor at Hogwarts, but who will she be working under? Severus Snape is not best pleased with his new responsibility of taking on an apprentice, however she is relentless to create a friendship between them. Will she be successful? Or might the friendship just go a little two far? With the eyes of her grandfather constantly watching over them, an attempt at a relationship might not be in the cards for Aria Dumbledore and Severus Snape.

Word Count: 5342

Warnings: mentions of sexual harassment, alcohol consumption. 

Credits to Gif Creator

"Harry Potter." Dumbledore whispered, his lip almost trembling as he read the scrap of parchment that had just been spat out from the goblet.

The hall felt silence.

"Harry Potter." He spoke louder, looking furiously around the hall.

All eyes now searched for Harry.

"Harry Potter!" Albus yelled for a final time.

Aria felt her heart pound in her chest, surely this was a mistake, he wasn't even of age. She looked to her right, hoping Severus would provide some reassurance, though he too seemed just as shocked as she.

The young Gryffindor rose gingerly to his feet, being forced up by his friends and classmates. He seemed petrified, and just as confused as everyone else.

Students heckled him as he walked through the hall, assuming he had found some way to cheat the system. Neither Snape nor Aria believed this could be the case.

Aria Dumbledore stumbled slightly on her heels as she looked around desperately for someone to correct the situation. Without thinking she gripped her hand around the potions masters arm, clinging on for dear life. "Severus." She pleaded, her eyes wide with desperation, brow furrowed in frustration. "He's only fourteen."

Snape looked down at his apprentice, the look in her eyes paining him possibly more than the thought of the young boy competing in a deadly tournament. He opened his mouth to speak, almost about to place his own hand onto hers. But froze as Harry approached the Headmaster, and the parchment was thrust into his hand.

Severus broke away from Aria, turning his gaze outward as the boy came face to face with him.

Still completely shell shocked Harry made his way out of the room, earning a reassuring motherly tap from Minerva McGonagall on the way before disappearing along with the other Tri-Wizard champions.

Instantly the remaining students were dismissed back to their dormitories while a commotion broke out among the professors.

Both Headmaster Karkaroff and Madame Maxime outraged at the mere prospect of Hogwarts having two competing champions. The resident professors however, were far more concerned with Potter's safety than having a leg up in the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Dumbledore flew from the room, Severus following at his heels, and all the other teachers not far behind. Minerva faltered for a second, falling in line with Aria as they made their way from the room, clinging to each other desperately.

"Harry Potter, did you put your name in the goblet of fire?" Dumbledore asked calmly.

"No sir." The boy stuttered, his eyes darting between the crowd of professors.

"But of course, 'e is lying." Olympe accused, towering above even Hagrid.

"To hell he is." Mad- eye moody stepped forward. "The goblet of fire is an exceptionally powerful magical object, only an exceptionally powerful confundus charm could have hoodwinked it, magic way beyond the talents of a fourth year."

"You seem to have given this a fair bit of thought, Mad-eye." Karkaroff spat in return.

While the two men continued arguing, Aria broke arms with Minerva, once again working up the courage to approach Severus. Bringing his attention away from the chaos, she wrapped both hands around Snape's bicep, forcing herself closer to him. "Please." She begged.

Severus faltered. He saw the desperateness in her eyes, as well as in his friend Minerva's. He knew they both cared deeply about the boy. But what exactly was he meant to do?

"The rules are absolute." Barty Crouch sr. spoke. "The goblet of fire constitutes a binding magical contract. Mr. Potter has no choice, he is, as of tonight, a Tri-Wizard champion."

Severus locked eyes with Aria, wishing he could do more. Slowly Aria let her hands fall, she knew now he would not intervene.

Back in the potions classroom, Aria had almost become furious with Snape for not speaking up. Severus on the other hand, was getting sick of the woman going on at him about it, and was rather more concerned with why she chose to hold him in the way she did. A thought that hadn't let his mind since her fingers left his arm.

"I cannot believe you didn't stop them, Severus. Harry is not skilled enough to compete, not to mention the competition is renowned to be deadly. I can't believe it's actually still allowed to continue."

"And what exactly did you expect me to do Miss Dumbledore?" Snape questioned flicking his cloak behind him as he took a seat by his desk. "Barty said it himself. The rules are absolute, he is contractually bound. Nothing I could have said would have made any difference."

"But you could have tried." Aria whined, slamming her palms on the desk.

"And achieved what?" Snape shot up, his tone sharpening. "You overestimate my influence in this school, Miss Dumbledore. While your grandfather may rely on me for trivial duties, that is where my power stops." He snapped, getting annoyed at the woman for consistently guilting him.

"But you must know he didn't put his own name in, he couldn't have!" She persuaded, exasperated.

"Whether I believe he did or did not is irrelevant. He is competing and that's the end of it. That also goes for this conversation. I don't want to hear anymore of it." Snape warned, his eyes piercing into her. "Take the rest of the day off." He commanded.

Given that it was Saturday he had no right to keep her there anyway, though the witch had hoped she could spend the day with him, even if it meant giving themselves more work. Now that she had been banished from the classroom the prospects of her day were low and given that it was Halloween she suspected almost all of the students would be hauled up in their dorms throwing their own private parties. She had heard from Fred and George that it wasn't uncommon for the Gryffindor common room to be host to a number of events throughout the year, today certainly wouldn't be any exception.

Thinking of the students enjoying themselves sparked an idea for Aria. If they students were having party, why couldn't the professors?

Aria dedicated her day to doing her rounds of the school inviting every professor and member of staff she could think of to a party in the staff room that evening. It appeared the professors were just as in need of a night off as the students were, by the looks of it the party planning had gone quite successfully.

* Making her way briskly through the dimly lit dungeon corridor, Aria headed for the Hogwarts staff room, hoping not to cross paths with any suspicious looking rogue students on her way. As she passed by the old wooden door of Snape's office it occurred to Aria she had neglected to invite one crucial member of staff to this evenings event.

"Fuck." She groaned, running a hand through her sleekly styled hair.

Teetering on her heels Aria debated knocking on the door. Though it was highly unlikely Severus would even want to attend her party, she knew it would inevitably be better asking him at the eleventh hour than to not ask at all.

Braving the knock, she prepared herself for the ridiculing she was bound to receive.

A moment or two passed with no response, assuming Severus was located elsewhere, Aria chose to let herself in, just in case.

To her surprise Severus Snape was sat, hunched over his desk as he usually was. Only this time his desk was no longer cluttered with papers but displayed a singular framed photograph, which seemed to captivate Snape. He was evidently deaf to the world.

Coughing lightly to declare herself, Aria gently shut the door behind her.

"Professor Snape." She announced trying to get on his good side, though a hint of surprise and embarrassment remained.

Straightening his posture, Snape extended his arm slowly, slamming the picture face first into the desk, desperate to keep it hidden.

"Miss... Dumbledore." He droned, eyeing the woman up and down. A slight look of disgust forming on his face. "What are you doing here?"

"I... I erm... I've arranged a small get together in the staff room tonight; you know, some drinks and snacks and music, since it's Halloween and all. I was wondering if you wanted to come?"

"I think not, Miss Dumbledore." He said, instantly turning away, disinterested.

"Of course: I understand." She nodded her head nervously. "It's so last minute, I doubt many people will come anyway, to be honest with you." She shrugged, shuffling on her feet.

Snape looked up from his desk, watching the woman squirm, he almost pitied her.

"Professor Flitwick informed me of your little 'get together' earlier this afternoon Miss Dumbledore." His voice dropping with boredom. "It seems the whole faculty is excited by the prospect of a party. I wouldn't worry about attendance too much."

Aria's heart practically flew out of her mouth. It hadn't crossed her mind for one single moment that Severus would have interacted with anyone besides herself today, let alone been discussing social events.

"Fuck." Aria said again, under her breath. "I meant to tell you Severus, honestly. It slipped my mind, I didn't mean to leave you out. I feel so stupid. I'm so sorry." She rambled.

"Relax, Miss Dumbledore." He commanded. "Whether I knew about your party or not has no affect on my decision. I wouldn't have come either way, I assumed you would know better than to invite me, it's a waste of time and energy for the both of us."

"Oh, I, er... I thought maybe since it was me, you might have reconsidered." The words had come out of her mouth before she had even realised what she had said. What made her any different from any other Professor?

"Don't flatter yourself, just because I am forced to work with you everyday does not mean I am willing to change my entire personality for you." Snape scoffed.

"I just meant- oh what's the point, your right, this is a waste of time, I'll leave you alone."

The witch turned to leave, one hand reaching for the door, before she heard the voice of the potions master speak up again.

"Wait." He demanded. "I'm curious. What exactly are you supposed to be?" The potions masters eyes travelled up and down the girl, inspecting her outfit for any trace of a costume.

"Oh." She stopped in her tracks. "I'm a sexy devil." She grinned, showing herself off and brandishing a pair of cheap plastic horns and a pitchfork she had been anxiously twiddling behind her back.

"Of course you are." He scoffed, rolling his eyes in disgust.

"I got them from Zonko's, it was the best I could do at the last minute." She shrugged, shying away.

Reaching again for the door handle, Aria froze, spinning back on her heel.

"Who is she?" She asked abruptly.

"I'm sorry?" Snape retorted, baffled that she dare even ask.

"You got a question, now I do too. Who is she?" The Professor nodded to the toppled over picture frame.

"How do you-"

"I just do. Who is she?" Aria pressured once more.

"A friend." He answered simply.

"Do you love her?" Aria couldn't help but pry further, though she had no idea why she wanted to know.

Severus simply looked up from his desk, his eyes connecting with Aria's. They shared a knowing look, neither of them needing to verbalise it.  

"Oh." She responded, pressing her glossy scarlet lips together. "I guess you're not as heartless as you pretend you are after all." She smirked, finally leaving the room.

*

"Severus couldn't make it then?" A feline-esq Mcgonagall asked, joining Aria next to the drinks table.

"No." Aria replied. "He was busy. I shouldn't have expected him to anyway, this isn't exactly his sort of thing is it?" She said looking around at the crowd of professors disguised as pirates, superheroes and zombies, casually chatting and swaying away to the  music.

"I shouldn't think it is." Minerva agreed, taking off her pair of false cat ears, giving her head a moments release. Aria couldn't help but laugh at her choice of costume, which I'm sure was professors desired reaction.

Pouring yet another drink Aria felt herself swaying back and forth in her heels, the alcohol was finally beginning to take its toll.

"Pace yourself, my dear, the night is still young." Minerva chuckled, taking a sip of wine.

"Sorry." Aria chuckled, gulping down the rest of her cocktail, completely ignoring the advice from her friend. "It's just been a while since I've allowed myself to get drunk, ya know, the side effects don't agree with me much."

"Well your still young I suppose, people your age often are out partying every weekend. I think you should allow yourself the luxury just this once, eh. The side effects are tomorrow's problem." The older woman winked.

"God, I hope not." Aria whispered, but continued pouring drinks nonetheless.

"Join me?" Aria said, clumsily pouring two very large shots, for the pair to down. "Let's get a bit more life into this party, shall we?" She announced, turning up the music and began filling a tray of shot glasses up, passing them around the room.

"Everyone gather around and let's make this interesting." The young woman mischievously announced.

Lining up numerous shots glasses and filling them with various miscellaneous liquors, Aria waited for the staff to gather round the table.

"Truth or dare. Alcohol edition. If this doesn't get us all absolutely hammered by the end of the night, nothing will." She laughed, hoping that getting these witches and wizards drunk and spilling some secrets would be a bit more fun that just standing around talking.

"And on that note, I feel this may be my cue to retire for the night." Dumbledore informed, taking Aria by the hand, giving her a reassuring squeeze. "You lot have fun." He smiled, chuckling to himself as he walked away.

One hour, two bottles of tequila and several very very drunk professors later Aria Dumbledore was satisfied with her attempts at spicing things up. The game had begun to wind to an end, with a couple of teachers tapping out, a few more passed out, and, in the case of Hagrid and Olympe Maxine, making out.

"Your turn again Aria; truth, dare or drink." Aurora Sinistra enquired. The small crowd buzzed, hyping her up as she carefully considered her decision.

"Truth!" She shouted, chickening out of yet another dare, and she truly did not think she could handle one more shot.

"I have one for you." Igor Karkaroff confessed, seemingly appearing from out of nowhere and plopping himself down in the empty space next to Aria.

"Then go ahead." She allowed, gathering her legs in a basket and turning to face him.

"How do you really feel about Severus Snape?" He breathed, his face inching closer to hers the longer she paused to think. The few invested professors fell silent eagerly anticipating her response.

"How do I feel about Snape?" She slurred, letting out a small amused laugh, as her body continued to sway towards Igor unknowingly.

"He's... curious." She began, finding her words amidst a sea of drunken thoughts. "He has the capacity for love and friendship just like the rest of us, yet he chooses to be mean-spirited. And for what? No apparent reason but his own satisfaction. He can be rude and arrogant and cruel. And despite it all I try my best try to show him kindness, but where does that get me? He calls me out in front of practically the whole school? That was so fucking humiliating, and I'm just supposed to forgive him? I think it's safe to do say I'd live a happy life, if I were to never see that man again."

"It's seems you've had a bit of time to think about this? I assumed you and Severus were friends." Madam Pomfrey commented, as the room fell silent.

"Can anyone really be friends with that man." Aria scoffed, beginning to feel uncomfortable, as it became clear to her that others did not share the same opinion.

"Admittedly Severus can be a hard man to get along with. But really he's not so bad once you get to know him." Minerva informed. "While he may not show it, he does care. Give him another chance, Aria, it takes a while to warm up to him."

Aria gave a small nod, thinking now might be a good time to wrap things up. She felt guilty for saying such bad things about Severus but it had also been some what of a release to get it all out there before she was truly able to forgive him for all the horrible things he said.

Picking up her scattered heels she had abandoned some time ago, Aria decided to call it a night.

~

Severus Snape had barely moved from the moment Aria Dumbledore had left his office. He sat frozen in time, simply staring at the picture of her. It had become routine for him at this point, every year, on Halloween, he would mourn the life of the woman he had once called best friend. He thought back to that night when he found her, murdered by the man he had put his faith in, the man he believed would spare her life, the man he vowed from that point onwards, he would help put an end to. It was on this day every year, he reminisced on his life full of regrets.

It was then he heard a small amount of commotion and scuffling echoing through the dungeon corridor. Assuming it would be a couple of excitable teenagers Snape made his way out, ready to deduct a couple of house points for disrupting his evening.

Unable to distinguish any facial features in the dark, Snape listened carefully to the drunken mumbles from down the hall. As he closed in on the pair it became clear to him that what he once assumed to be a playful make out session, was in reality an act of unwanted attention. The female was clearly drunk and struggling to dissuade the man's advances.

Illuminating the tip of his wand, Severus ripped the man away from the woman, thrusting him into the light. "Karkaroff?" Snape winced, releasing his tight grip on the headmasters collar. Slowly coming to terms with the reality before him, Snape's eyes darted towards the woman, who, seconds ago, had been pinned to the cold stone wall. Pealing away the curtain of hair from her face, Aria timidly revealed herself.

"What the fuck are you doing Snape?" Karkaroff grumbled, stumbling backwards, struggling to keep his balance.

"I could ask you the very same question, Igor." Severus seethed, pressing the tip of his wand firmly into Igor's neck.

"No need to get so defensive." Karkaroff chuckled. "Do not believe this innocent act, she wants this just as much as me. She's gagging for it, Severus, you should know that more than anyone." He burped grotesquely, making a move in Aria's direction.

Instantly forcing himself between the ex-deatheater and his assistant. Severus dug his wand deeper into the man's skin. "Do not come any closer, Igor. I suggest you leave now and hope to God that Dumbledore doesn't hear of this."

Karkaroff paused for a second, running his tongue along his bottom lip in contemplation. Slowly closing the gap between himself and he potions master, Igor Karkaroff whispered into his colleagues ear. "I can wipe her memory straight after, no one needs to know. Go back into your chambers and forget you ever saw anything. I wouldn't blame you if you did the same."

"You disgust me." Snape spat, shoving the man away from him.

Karkaroff laughed sinisterly once again, seeing no real severity of his actions. That was the last straw for Severus. Swiping his wand across his face, a small but painful cut began to appear on Igor's cheek, a tiny pool of blood quickly forming and spilling down his face.

"Go. Now. Before I regret letting you off so lightly." The potions master commanded.

Having silently witnessed the whole exchange, Aria felt her pulse racing, feeling utterly helpless in her drunken state. Half expecting Severus to simply turn and leave, Aria begun to fiddle with the hem of her dress, not wanting to see him walk away. To her surprise a warm hand rested itself on her bicep, defrosting her body from the outside in.

"Are you okay?" Severus asked sincerely concerned.

Aria nodded her head repeatedly, but refused to meet her mentors gaze. "He didn't really do anything. He... he just wanted to come in for a nightcap." She tried to convince herself.

"I think we both know what his intentions were." Snape droned, agitated by her stupidity.

"Thank you." She said solemnly, her eyes finally meeting his.

Acknowledging her appreciation, Snape turned on his heel ready to finally retire for the night.

"Wait, Severus." She spoke up, finding her voice again. "I could use some company tonight. Do you mind if I join you?"

"It's been a long day, Miss Dumbledore. I was planning on getting at least some sleep tonight."

"I understand." She hung her head, embarrassed for even asking.

Looking down at the disappointed look on the young woman's face, he did not have the heart to leave her after what had just happened. Letting out a hefty sigh, Snape made his way to his office, throwing open the old oak door, waiting patiently.

"Come on then." He offered, motioning to the empty room.

~

"Do you mind if I...?" Aria gestured to a rogue bottle of FireWhiskey. "For the nerves."

"Go ahead." Snape permitted, settling back down behind his desk, while Aria made herself at home in his office.

Truthfully Aria had found herself becoming rapidly more sober by the second and she was desperate to put an end to that feeling as soon as possible. She was already embarrassed enough without the risk of Snape asking anymore questions.

"How was your little party." Severus pondered, having nothing else to occupy him.

"Not bad. Would have been better with you there though." Aria confessed, taking a seat on the edge of Severus' desk, gulping down her glass of FireWhiskey.

"I doubt that that is true." He droned, rolling his eyes, unconvinced.

"Of course its true, you're my friend Severus. Why do you find it so hard to believe that someone could enjoy your company." She raised an eyebrow at the potions master.

"There is not much to like about a man like me, Miss Dumbledore. I simply do not see the appeal." Leaning forward in his chair, Snape averted his gaze.

"Well I do." Aria assured firmly, refusing to take her eyes off the man in front of her. "And clearly you were open to friends in the past. You speak of this woman for instance, the two of you were friends." She tried to get him to open up.

"For a while." He replied simply.

"See."

"When we were children." He elaborated, once again meeting her eyes. "And that brief phenomenon ended when the prospect of a better opportunity arose for her." Snape added bitterly.

"That cannot possibly be true." Aria scoffed, unconvinced he was telling her the whole truth.

"That, coupled with my less than amiable personality, and a few harsh words drove her away for good. And with final nail in the coffin being just that, there is no hope for a reunion any time soon." He finalised, his tone harsher and more agitated than before.

"Is that a habit of yours then?"

"Is what a habit of mine?"

"Attempting to drive away your friends by insulting them." She said it only to be playful, hoping to coax a small smirk from him, but clearly that night was still a sore spot for him, even more so than it was for her. "Why don't you allow yourself the simplest bit of happiness, Severus. I know for a fact there are many Professors who think very highly of you, if you only let yourself be liked, you would have a great number of friends."

"What makes you think I want friends, Miss Dumbledore." Snape relaxed in his chair, finally turning his full focus to the young woman. "Has it ever occurred to you I am like this for a reason. That I like to be alone. That I drive people away simply because I do not want them in my life."

"I don't believe that for one second."

"Why?" He challenged. His temper beginning to boil at the woman's unyielding persistence.

"Because you loved her, Severus." Aria Dumbledore blurted. A moment of silence filled the room, the pair both slightly in shock that she dare speak the words, that Severus Snape was capable of love, aloud. Nevertheless she chose to continue, seeing no harm in speaking her mind now. "She was your friend and you loved her. I know it broke your heart when she died. And I know your trying to protect yourself from getting hurt again. But you must let yourself be vulnerable, or else what is the point in living? I am determined to be your friend, Severus Snape. And while I know that probably terrifies you, you really do not have any say in the matter. If you truly liked being alone, you would have left me out in that corridor tonight." She finished with a sigh.

Hoping off the desk to pour another drink, Aria's mind hummed away. Something felt different between her and Severus tonight. Despite at first being thrown off, and admittedly, slightly jealous of the woman in the picture, it had given her hope. Not fully understanding what she was feeling, she decided to blame it on the booze. Whatever it was, was tomorrow's problem.

Intending to join Aria for a drink, Severus ventured out from behind his desk, meeting Aria in the center of the room. Having practically read his mind, she presented her friend with a very large glass of Firewhiskey, and began to make a start on her own. As the cold glass balanced on the edge of her lip, Aria suddenly became hyperaware of how close her and Severus' bodies were. His fingertips grazed her own as he made to take the glass from her, clearly lingering for much longer than necessary. Aria darted her eyes in his direction, wondering if he too noticed their closeness, she found him staring right back at her. With no sign of uncomfort or anxiety visible in his face, Aria felt her heart begin to beat faster than ever, and her palms became instantly sweaty. Gulping down the remainder of her drink, she slammed her glass down on the desk, turning to the door.

"I think I should go." Aria swallowed nervously, refusing to meet Severus' gaze. "Let you get some rest, finally. It's already so late."

She was panicking and rambling. It was obvious to both her and Severus. But the way he looked at her. She had never seen him look at anyone that way, he didn't look as harsh or mean or unimpressed as he usually did, and that terrified her. Though it wasn't how he looked at her that scared her, it was how it made her feel. Butterflies inhabited her stomach, her heart pounded in her chest, and her throat scratched when she spoke it had become so dry. She knew she had to get out of there before she done something she might regret.

"Aria, wait." Severus called out, placing his glass next to it's twin, though his remained untouched.

It was the first time he had called her by her first name. It felt so... intimate. She loved the way it sounded coming from him. His velvet monotone made her name sound so smooth and delicate. She could listen to him speak forever, she thought to herself. Shaking herself back into reality, Aria forced herself to turn and face Severus.

Without missing a beat Snape closed the gap between them, pulling her body close to his; one hand resting on her waist, the other cupping the back of her head. Before either of them knew what had happened the pair found themselves lost in a chaste, but passionate kiss.

Seemingly coming to his senses Severus Snape forced himself off of Aria, his face instantly flushing with colour. Averting his gaze, it was clear he was starting to regret what he had just done.

"I apologise, that was... I shouldn't have-"

To his surprise Aria cut him off, resting a cold hand on his newly warmed face. Their eyes met for a single moment, both knowing that this was what the other wanted. Standing slightly on her toes for height, Aria thrust her lips onto his, pulling him closer and tighter than before. Deepening the kiss Severus quickly regained control, letting himself lose himself in the moment. The couple found themselves drifting towards the door, using it as a support, allowing them Severus to be as forceful as he wanted. While Aria's hands roamed the whole of Severus' body, squeezing and grabbing anywhere she possibly could, Severus on the other hand, remained the perfect gentleman, keeping his hands strictly to her waist and face, and eventually settling on either side of her head, leaning against the firm wooden door.

Breaking away for a moment of air, Aria let out a satisfied groan, biting on her bottom lip seductively. Severus could not take his eyes of her, watching her every move hungrily, struggling to catch his breath.

"Wow." She finally exhaled, but instantly Aria pulled him in once more.

As the kiss continued and another second passed, the pair became hungrier for one another, and so the more passionate the kiss became. Getting almost too caught up in the moment, Aria made a move for Severus' belt buckle, hurriedly unclasping it, ready to undo his zipper.

"Stop." Severus panted, grabbing her wrist, before she went any further.

Coming to her senses Aria retracted from the situation, a wave of humiliation washing over her as she watched Severus re-buckle his belt.. Hiding her face in her hands, she moved out from between Snape and the door.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No, It's not your fault." Snape tried to reassure. "I just... I wouldn't want to take advantage."

"You wouldn't be taking advantage, I was the one who wanted to-"

"I just think we need to end things here." Snape said firmly, once again cutting the woman off.

Accepting defeat Aria nodded to herself, knowing he was right. She had never felt so embarrassed in her whole life, she knew she would regret allowing herself to drink tonight, it never ended well.

"I should go." She whispered to Snape, refusing to look any higher than the man's shoes.

"Aria." He breathed, his voice full of sadness, knowing she was beginning to regret kissing him in the first place. He wanted to asked her to stay, but he knew it didn't matter what he said now to make up for stopping her, the moment was gone and so too was she about to be.

"Goodnight... Professor Snape." The witch sighed, reverting back to professionalisms and clicking the door shut behind her.

Taglist:

@ayamenimthiriel​ @lizlil​

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 16 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 3 K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

<- Previous part (15)

Next part (17) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

×

The Loss Of A Friend

You've never been to a funeral. Well, you did, but you were a kid and you didn't know the family friend who was being buried that day. In your child's mind, you didn't get why everyone was wearing black, in uncomfortable silence, crying all day long. You remember clearly that a blue bug got your attention, making your eyes follow its every move, making you smile despite the sad atmosphere.

It couldn't be more different today.

As the coffin is lowered into the ground, where Jason will forever rest now, you hold Billy's hand, the soft fabric of your black dress tickling your tights. You barely feel it though, all your sensations resumed to the weight in your chest, crushing, squeezing your ribs, smashing your heart.

You suddenly remember the day Monica introduced you to Jason. It was the Saturday before you started working at the pool, in the parking lot of Starcourt Mall. He had his little brother on one arm, and the girl walking beside him, tugging on the hem his shirt.

“So that's the new girl.” He said, a smile spreading across his lips as he reached out his hand for you to shyly shake. “I'm Jason, born to bear the weight of being Monica's cousin, but also the coolest guy you'll find in Hawkins.”

That, of course, started a small war of cheesy pick-up lines, insults, and sarcastic comments. You laughed, feeling easily welcomed by Monica's cousin.

Now, what gets your attention is how his young siblings cry, yell, calling out Jason as is he was just sleeping inside the wooden box and would wake up, smile, and start chasing them around again. He won't. Jason is only a memory now.

“I think we should go,” Billy says in a low voice, letting go of your hand to rub your arms softly.

Nodding, you let him guide you to his Camaro, driving you away from the sea of people dressed in black. You've known Jason for such a little time compared to everyone else here, who saw him grow up, studied with him, lived near him for many years. Your pain is just a speck of dust compared to theirs.

When you get home, the sun is setting. You decide to call Diane, just to make sure she's alright, but you don't tell what happened. It would make her come here immediately, and the last thing you need is someone else you care about being in danger. You have to lie, despite hating yourself for it, telling her that your voice is funny because you had to yell a lot with the kids at the pool. But it's better this way. There are more than enough people here you need to worry about.

“Come here,” Billy calls when you finally head to the bedroom. He sits in the bed, back against the headrest and you're quick to crawl into the bed and into his arms. “How are you feeling?”

“I don't know. Sad doesn't really explain it.” Putting your legs over his, you hide your face on his neck, breathing in your favorite cologne, the only one he uses since the day you told him that. “I can't believe I buried Jason. Jason. My crazy-ass friend.” Your voice cracks and you hold back a sob. “I'll never hear those stupid jokes again.”

“I'm so sorry, princess.” There's a pain in his voice too. Billy has been around Jason a bit, mostly with you. But you know he's actually sad because of how broken you are. You can see it in his eyes, that he wish he could take your pain away, and that he's desperate because he doesn't know what to do.

But there's nothing Billy or anyone else could do. You can't fight death. You can't hit it with a baseball bat full of nails until it gives your friend back. The only thing you can do is avenge him. Get whatever took him and destroy it.

“I wanna kill those Demothings.” The anger in your voice is tangible, and you clench your hands into fists. “I swear to God, Billy, I'll kill one of them myself.”

“Anger won't help. We need to be smart about it. We need a strategy.” Billy is often angry with things. Mostly with things that hurt you, but this time, you get why he's taking another path, trying to calm you down instead of putting more wood in the fire. “The meeting is set for tomorrow. We'll find a battle plan to kill those damn things.” His hand comes to lay on your thigh, fingers softly caressing your skin. “But for now you need to rest, ok? I'll cook something you like and then we'll cuddle watching some nice movie. How does that sound?”

“What if I cry through the movie?” You ask because more tears start rolling down, it doesn't matter how many times you try to get rid of them.

“Then I'll hold you tight.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Billy is kind enough to try and get you into some small talk. Nothing too complicated, nothing related to the Demothings or Jason. You're thankful for that. He even manages to get a few laughs from you, although they're always followed by a reality check when the events of the last two days hit you again, and the smile is gone.

A couple of hours later you're watching Jaws, your head on Billy's chest as you try to follow the events of the movie. But it seems way too fast for you, or it's just your mind that's refusing to process anything that's happening.

You just keep thinking about death. About how Jason's whole life was cut short. How all of his plans for the future were erased.

“Billy, can I ask you something?” Keeping your voice low, you speak up for the first time since you came to the living room after having dinner.

“Of course, princess. What is it?”

Biting your lip, you consider if you should really bring that up. It's selfish to talk about your future when someone else won't have one. But this whole situation made you want to make plans because it's a privilege to still be here. It's a blessing to still have time. “What you said to Joyce about... Marriage. Did you really mean that or–” Pushing yourself up from where you were laying on top of him, you take a deep breath. “–or were you just trying to get out of the conversation. Because it's ok if–”

“Haven't I made it clear that I want to be with you for the rest of my life?” He moves to sit up as well, pulling you close until you're placed in between his legs, a hand caressing your cheek. “Because if I hadn't, I'll make it clear now. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I don't know how it happened, and it did get me by surprise, but the day you walked in the Hawkins Community Pool, I knew something changed in me. I knew I had to get to know you, and I did thought it would pass, that I'd get tired of you as I got of the other girls, but I didn't.” Billy holds you closer to him, your foreheads touching. “You hit me like–”

“Bang.” You finish for him, the memory of the day he was unbelievably honest with you coming back. The day he admitted to you, and somehow to himself too, that he liked you. It was also the day he punched David, and the day he kissed your cheek, making your stomach burn like it has been set on fire.

“Like bang.” He breathes out, warm lips coming in touch with yours. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him as close as you can, the need to feel that he's here, with you, clouding the sound of the TV. Billy moves to lay back down again, and when you move to follow his change of posture, your knee slips and connects to his ribs. “Ouch!” He breathes out, cutting off the kiss.

“Oh, shit. I'm so sorry.” Covering your mouth, you bring the free hand to rub his side. “Sorry, baby.”

Taking a deep breath, he grabs your arm and pulls you down, making you collide on his chest, giggling. “Sorry. I shouldn't be joking around with you now.”

Squinting your eyes at him, you try to get up, but his strong arms come around your body, keeping you from moving. “I hate you, Hargrove.” The fake sentence is soon overcome by a giggle. “I'll kick you right this time, I'm warning you.”

“Oh, I'm shaking like a leaf.”

“Don't test me, Hargrove. Keep in mind we sleep on the same bed and I know all of your habits, baby.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Mhmm.” Mumbling, you manage to stand up, moving back into a sitting position. You know he actually let you go, but there's no reason to acknowledge that. Taking a deep breath, the sudden happiness is stained again, as the memories crawl back. It seems like Billy notices because his smile softens. “I love living with you, you know that, right?”

“I love waking up next to you every morning.”

You can't help the smile that comes to your lips as you bend over again, kissing his lips.

On the next day, Billy calls Anthony to ask him to give you a few days off work. Obviously, you have to urge your hothead boyfriend not to curse the manager and risk losing his job. You feel fine to go to the pool, or you think you do, but the truth is you wouldn't be paying much attention anyway. And much to your dismay, Billy gets a total of zero days off. No discussion, what makes him hang up the phone so hard you thought he broke the poor thing.

Since you don't want to be alone, and Billy would absolutely never allow you to be alone in the house when you're friend just died, he drives you to Joyce's place, where the party will gather to make plans.

Saying it's hard to be away from Billy on the day after you buried Jason is a misunderstanding. Seeing him drive away from Joyce's porch makes you feel like he's taking your heart with him. He didn't seem pleased either, but there was no other choice. You wouldn't make him miss the day, since you know Anthony is a terrible human being, just looking for the right excuse to get rid of the lifeguards.

“Honey, come inside,” Joyce calls a hand on your shoulder. “Can I get you something to eat? We had pizza last night and I have a slice in the fridge.”

“No, thank you, Joyce.” Politely, you decline her offer. “Is there any bed I can crash in?”

“Sure. Come.” Walking through Jonathan and Will, you wave at them, muttering a good morning and trying not to cry at their sad faces. They know Jason was a close friend, and, like everyone else, they don't know what to do or say. “This is Will's and Jonathan's room. Just pick a bed.” Nodding, you choose the one on the left and lie down. “Do you need to talk?”

“There's nothing to say.” Putting your head on a pillow, you stare at the ceiling. You feel comfortable around Joyce, she has this mother thing about her. “I just want this to end. Before anyone else gets... Eaten.” The word makes you shiver as it brings the image of his body back. “I wish I wasn't the one to find him. To... See him that way. I don't think I'll ever forget that.”

“Honey, I'm so sorry.” She comes to sit on the edge of the bed. “When... When they found Will's body, it hurt. I knew in my heart it wasn't him, but the very idea of losing my baby was horrible. So I have an idea of how you feel. Losing someone is a pain that doesn't go away. You'll get used to it, but it remains. All we can do is learn to deal with it and honor them by carrying their memories.”

You're crying through her speech, and you can't help but sit up and hug her, crying on her shoulder. “We have to be careful because I can't lose anyone else.” You're not sure if she can even understand what you're saying, but since she nods, you think she did.

“Don't worry, honey. We'll all be alright.” She pulls away, rubbing both your arms. “The kids will be here soon, but feel free to stay here or join us, ok? Do whatever makes you comfortable.”

“Thanks.” Offering her a small, sad smile, you watch as she leaves.

You hear when they get here, the chattering starts, and you can understand a few words here and there. They talk about you, and about Billy and about the funeral. But soon enough it falls into the major problem. And that's when you tune out, staring at the ceiling, trying not to make yourself too comfortable in someone else's bed.

The only thing you want now is Billy. You want to go back to the time where there was no Demogorgon, Demowhatever lurking around. At least to you. It's weird to know what really happened in Billy's car accident, how he was almost the host for the Mind Flayer. You're happy it didn't happen, that he's here now. You need to thank Max for that, actually. If it wasn't for her and the others, your Billy wouldn't be here. He could be dead, and you'd never meet him. He'd never shoot glances at you, or drive you home, buy you tacos or punch David's face. Or kiss you, hold you, love you. The thought of a life without Billy in it is absurd. Now, more than ever, after you lost someone so dear, you have this need to be with him. Just to make sure he's here.

Breathing out and closing your eyes, your hand comes to hold the necklace. It makes you feel closer to Billy, and there is a silent promise here, one you hold close to your heart, together with the earring.

Eyes open, you get up of the bed. You don't care if you got days off, you have to see him. Even if it's just for a hug. Leaving the bedroom, you make your way to the living room, which is crowded.

“We wait until it's late at night to make sure the Demodogs are out, sneak inside the tunnels, and spill insane amounts of gasoline all over it. Get the hell out, wait until it's morning, and set the whole thing on fire.” Dustin says, hands in the air and a smile on his face.

He's kidding, right? He can't be suggesting that as if it's the greatest idea of the world. “Are you completely insane?” You ask, making your presence known. Arms crossed, your eyes scan through the party. “You can't possibly think this is a good idea.”

“I agree with (Y/N), this is insane,” Joyce adds, her face making it clear she thinks this idea sucks. “I won't let you do that.”

“But–”

“The point is to kill them without getting ourselves killed. And every single idea you come up with has a hundred different ways to get us killed.” Steve says, both his hand on his hips as he paces around the room. “Who thinks this idea sucks raise your hand.” He's the first to do it, and Joyce, you, and Jonathan do the same.

“Count Billy in.” You say, raising the other hand as well.

“And Hopper,” Joyce states, giving you an approving stare.

“It's six against seven. We're doing it.” Dustin exclaims.

“No.” You basically shout, not caring one bit if you sound bossy. All eyes lay on you as you struggle to keep it together. “We're not doing it and that's final.”

“I–”

“I just lost a friend and I will not let you do something that might just end up in another funeral.” There are tears threatening to fall again, but you hold them back. “So come up with something else.”

The silence is deafening. You know you're breaking down again, even though the tears aren't rolling down. Yet.

“Please. There's gotta be something else.” Lowering your voice and looking down at your feet, you beg. You can't even think about someone else dying. You couldn't bear it.

“I saw this thing at school. Like a robot with remote control.” Lucas starts. “If we could build a bunch of them and attach a hose, we could guide it inside the tunnels and spread the gasoline.”

“Yeah, but there are seven holes. Which means a lot of ground we'd have to cover.” Eleven adds as you make your way to the group, sitting on the couch beside Joyce.

“Let's blow up six of them.” You burst out, crossing your legs. “A hell of a explosion that would take those things days to dig it back. Then there will be only one way in and out. Find a hell of a long hose or just connect a bunch of them and a million gallons of gas. The robots will spread it then we'll just need a match.”

“That's good. It could work.” Nancy says. “But we'll need to chip in to buy all these things.

“Hopper can get some for free I'm sure.”

“We start right now.” Mike stands up and the others follow. “Let's get started.”

The rest of the day is hectic. Lists are made, one of the kids teachers come over to help with what they called a summer project. For fun. And the materials started arriving. You don't really know what to do, so you help Joyce make lunch, keeping up with her small talk. Joyce is easy to be around, and you like to hear her stories about Will and Jonathan. You even manage to show a few smiles every now and then. After everyone is fed, you finally sit on the porch, trying to help as much as you can. The kids are genius, literally building remote control robots from random pieces and the instructions from books. It's amazing. Since you can't really be of much help in this aspect, you join Nancy, separating stuff or doing anything they tell you too.

When the sun is setting, some of them had to go home to gather their stuff. They'll crash here and take the robot construction through the night. By the moment you hear the faint noise of Billy's car, it's just Joyce's kids, Steve and Dustin. Leaving the small pieces of metal you were shaping into tiny little circles, you stand up abruptly.

“Where are you going? These circles aren't going to make themselves.” Dustin complains, raising his hands in the air.

“Billy is back.” There's no need for further explanation, so you tiptoe among the stuff, careful not to step on anything.

“It could be anyone.”

“Dustin, is there any other car in Hawkins that sounds like that?” As you speak, the noise gets louder and Billy's car comes to your sight.

“She knows her boyfriend's car.” Steve jokes as you walk to the yard, smiling when Billy stops the car and comes out.

“Miss me, princess?”

“Obviously.” It's a feeling of pure relief to see him. It feels like it's been so much longer than just some hours, but you feel that you'll have this insane need to be around him for a while. Just to enjoy the fact that you're still alive. You can't help but wonder for long the idea of death will hover over you... Probably forever.

“You ok?” He asks, his hand on your hair as you have your head on his chest.

“I will be.” Remembering the audience, you pull away, standing on your toes to kiss him. “Dustin had a terrible idea but I made him change his mind about it.”

“How did you do that?”

“I yelled.” With no intention of further explanation, you turn at the guys. “I'll be back tomorrow morning, alright? Have fun doing crazy science.” Waving at them, you get into the car.

You would like to stay at Joyce's, keep helping as much as you can, but you feel like you need silence and peace. The kid's laughter and jokes make you feel better, but you know that you also need to let the sadness creep over for a while. Keeping it hidden, disguised, makes no good. So as you dry and brush your hair, waiting for Billy to finish his shower, you cry.

For Monica, for Jason's younger siblings, his mother, his father, uncle, and aunt. For every friend he made since he was born. And for yourself too. Jason was one of the people that you imagined you'd be around for the rest of your life.

You're dragged away from your thoughts by the phone's ring. Rushing to answer it, you find it's Joyce, kindly asking if you can pick Mike up and drive him to her place, and of course, you comply.

“Billy.” You call when you hear him coming out of the bathroom. “Joyce needs us to pick up Mike. Nancy can't stop what she's doing there.”

“Sure. Let's go.”

Being out at night makes you anxious, but you try not to let it show. Eyes on the road, you bounce your leg nervously, tugging on the seat belt. Billy notices, and a hand comes to rest on your thigh.

“We'll be fine. Relax.”

“I'm trying.” Stretching your arm, you touch his neck. “I'm sorry if I can't stop thinking about Jason and what happened.”

“(Y/N), you just lost a friend. My responsibility as your boyfriend is to hold and love you through this process. Don't apologize.”

“I don't want this to be your responsibility, Billy.” When he turns his head to look at you, you run your fingers through his jaw.

He takes a deep breath, pulling over by Mike's house. You were about to get out, but since he doesn't move, neither do you. Billy looks like he's thinking, furrowed eyebrows and distant eyes. “Billy? Come back to Earth.” You decide to ask, taking off the belt and turning your body towards his.

“To have and to hold. For better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” He squints his eyes through the words, trying to remember them. It takes a while for you to understand what he means, and when you do, your heart starts drumming in your ears. “To love and cherish till death do us part.”

“Billy...”

“It means I'll stand by your side. Not because I feel like it's my responsibility, but because I love you. And I'm more than happy to take the responsibility of being your–”

“Couldn't you save that up for, I don't know, someday when I'm dressed in white?” The words come out fast, and you're blushing hard, your cheeks burning. “No. You had to do this now. Drive me insane now in your Camaro.” You roll your eyes dramatically when his lips break into a smile, that smug, cocky smile he has when he knows he got to you somehow.

“Be my wife, (Y/N).”

“No.” It's an utter absurd how hard you have to fight not to say the exact opposite. You want to just burst out the word, here and now, because you're so damn sure you want Billy for the rest of your life. “No, baby. We'll graduate, save up money and you'll make a decent proposal.” You hope he can't notice your hands shaking as you step out of the car, almost stumbling on the sidewalk. His words burn through your mind, sending shivers down your spine. “I won't say I'll marry you in the middle of the sidewalk, in the middle of the night, in front of Mike's house.”

“Did I just make you nervous?” Billy's arms come to encircle your waist, his deep voice, and breath on your hair making you sigh.

“Shut up, Hargrove.” With the sweet sound of his laughter on your ear, you knock on the front door, trying to push him away before someone comes to answer. “Let go.”

“Are you using my cologne again?” As soon as he asks, you feel his nose softly rubbing your neck, what makes you giggle and try to push him away again, uselessly. “You are.”

It wasn't your intention to let him find out, but he always does. “Well, it was–”

The door is suddenly open, a yellowish light hitting your eyes as you try to stand up straighter. The woman standing there gives a step back as if she just saw a ghost. Her eyes fly from Billy and back at you, then all the way back to Billy. It hits you suddenly as you realize she's Mrs. Wheeler, the woman Billy was going to meet on the day the Mind Flayer almost got him. They haven't met or spoken since that day, and you weren't expecting her to look so... Perplexed. You try to read her expression, to understand what the look in her eyes means.

“Hello, Mrs. Wheeler.” You manage to say because Billy clearly won't even try to be polite. You feel his muscles tensing up, as he gets immediately uncomfortable under the woman's stare since she doesn't seem to even try to hide. “Sorry to disturb you. We're here for Mike.”

×

@chloe-skywalker @dpaccione @dreamin-of-dacre @funeral-7 @uncookspaget @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @halloweenbitch2764 @redlovett @multific @shinydixon @nikkixostan @clockworkballerina @nope-thanks

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Sixteen)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Fifteen ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Seventeen

Luke pov.

“Do it again.” Ashton asks, staring at me intently.

We were about to leave my house for my surprise party, which I discovered in less than an hour. I was rehearsing a face of surprise so as not to end the surprise, cause I know everyone worked hard for it.

I widen my eyes, breaking into a smile.

“I can't believe you deceived me.” I say with my voice altered by the ‘surprise’.

“Don't say that, it will be very obvious that you know. Says ‘I can't believe you threw a party for me’.” he suggests.

"I can't believe you threw a party for me." I redo the entire acting.

“Yep! Me either. But what doesn't M&Ms ask, that I don't do?” Ash dries the water bottle with a shrug. “I'm just kidding.” he laughs after seeing my face.

“Speaking of her…” I fill my glass with some more wine, since it's too early for us to go. “Something new?” Ashton denies, frustrated too.

“I commented that she was acting weird, but she just changed the conversation and said that she's been busy and that she was nervous about the party.” he sighs. I massage my forehead, annoyed.

"Am I going to have to put her against the wall to get something?" I look at him, not knowing what to do.

“You know this isn't going to work. She's going to run away, you're going to fight, she's going to walk away and you're going to be more annoying than you already are.” I appreciate my friend's attempt to change the mood with provocation, but it has no effect.

"I can't find any reason to give me any sign of what's going on. Was it my fault? I knew I shouldn't have stayed with her that Saturday, I pushed the situation too hard and now she's pulling away, avoiding me-”

“Oh shut up! Don't even start with that.” Irwin raises his voice, cutting mine off. "Marnie isn't like that, she doesn’t do these things. If she wasn't comfortable she was going to talk. You said yourself that she asked you to sleep there. She let you pick her up on Monday and asked you to take her home, even after you dedicated Best Years to her. She didn't run away there, because it was remarkable how much she liked the song. You should pay more attention to the way she looks at you.”

A silly laugh escapes my lips when I see Ashton imitate her looking at me and smiling. My heart warms at the possibility that she is actually falling in love with me, just as I already am with her.

"Luke, if she didn't want to get back together, she wouldn't open up so many gaps and opportunities for you to be together. She must just be confused about the feelings. That's how it looked for the first time. Look, let's analyze her behavior today, after all the stress of the party and then we get stressed.”

I agree with my friend. I'm freaking out over something that shouldn't be very important. Maybe it's all the pressure with finishing the album. The release date is approaching and sure enough, Jim freaking out in my ear for the publicity trip we were supposed to be doing, but we're still going against it due to Marnie's accident.

I don't know how many times I have to tell him I'm not leaving LA yet. This delay wasn't hindering anything, so I don't know why he makes such a point.

“Go, get rid of that dead face and let's enjoy your party.” Ash slaps my shoulder.

We left the house, heading to Jack's house, where the party would be. I've been training my face the entire way, wanting it to be as realistic as possible, even though everyone already suspects that I know.

Even if I didn't know it, the moment I see the street full of cars, I realize that I would find out there. Irwin tells them we're coming and I notice the noise of the music fade away. Discreet.

We entered the house, finding everything quiet and tidy. But when we turn to the kitchen and garden, a lot of people scream in surprise. I take a step back, like I'm really shocked.

"I can't believe you did that." I look at Ash, wanting to see that I did well. But his expression ‘so so’ disappoints me.

“In the car it was better.” he says before walking away and letting people get closer.

I don't know how many people I hugged, but I know the only one I wanted to see was the last one to arrive. I hold my breath, seeing her in a black leather skirt and a transparent black blouse, highlighting her tattoo between her breasts.

I swallow hard, cracking a nervous smile as she approaches with a huge grin, almost jumping into my lap. Unlike yesterday, where I just got a congratulations message, M&Ms hug me, leaving a lingering kiss on my cheek.

“Happy Birthday!” the gleam in her eyes proves to me she's already a little high.

I resist the urge to steal a kiss from her lips, just kissing her cheek back but giving her waist a squeeze, pressing her against my body. She seems to notice my intent, drastically changing her breathing.

"I wanted to talk to you later. If possible.” I say against her ear.

“About?” her eyes sweep me for any clues.

“Surprise.” I reveal, seeing her roll her eyes in agreement.

I watch her walk away with the girls, but she doesn't fully break eye contact with me, looking at me from afar. I let out a breath, realizing it's going to be a long night and another long battle to resist her and the urge to take her to a dark corner.

In the kitchen, where most of the drinks are, I start my work, drinking the alcohol, enjoying the burning sensation that the liquid leaves in my throat. I get distracted with video game conversation and allow my mind to relax with lighter, more relaxed topics.

The party had been going on for a few hours. My head is already light, due to the high alcohol content my body retains. I know I'm laughing at some bullshit Brian is talking about, even though his words don't make any sense in my mind. Maybe I've already had too much to drink and it's better to stop for a while. I don't want to be sick at my own party.

The term vibrates in my mind and I start searching the crowd for the cotton candy hair, worried about her condition. The feeling pulls my head out of the air, sobering me up for a few minutes.

I find her dancing hand in hand with Noah, laughing at the older man's exaggerated steps. I stare at the scene, happy that she is enjoying herself. Unlike at the beginning of the week, Marnie is now upbeat and not acting. Maybe Irwin is right and she was just stressed about the birthday party.

I push my thoughts away, concentrating on yet another beer pong game. I've played more times than I could count and I'm starting to doubt the two arms Jack has won since my last drink.

“Problems.” Michael sings beside me, pointing to the door. Pam walked in smiling excitedly, holding hands with a guy who sure as hell didn't want to be there. It's not possible…

Sobriety hits me like a cannon. All the alcohol and smoke that was in my body is gone and I am able to think clearly for the first time since I arrived.

I massage my forehead, bringing my gaze to Marnie, who's already staring at Pam without a specific expression. I cross the room with incredible ease, reaching for her, hugging her waist, pulling her to me.

“We can talk now?” Marnie didn't even seem to hear me, still staring at Pam, who was greeting some people. "M&Ms?" I call closer to her ear, but no effect. “Hey!” I drop a kiss to her temple, squeezing her waist.

Her green eyes cross mine and I can palpate the insecurity in them. Marnie just nodded, letting me lead her out of the room. We went up to a room, being alone. I look at her face, still half lost, and I approach slowly, feeling that little box weigh tons in my pocket.

“What do you want to talk about?” she gives a slight smile, turning her full attention to me.

“First I wanted to apologize for Pam. I didn't know what she was going to come.” Marnie rolls her eyes, shrugging.

“It’s OK! No need to apologize. My head is so full I don't even care about her anymore.” she sits up in bed, crossing her legs.

“And I believe she won't even mind us today, after all, she came with someone” I sat beside her.

“Yeah! Poor guy.” I let out a laugh at her pity for the poor boy. “It was just that?”

I lose myself in her eyes for a few seconds, wondering if that's all. I draw her face in my mind once more, recording every feature I fell in love with. My lips tingle as I landed my eyes on her mouth, slightly reddened by the drink.

At another time, right now she and I would be locked in some bathroom or bedroom, succumbing to desire and the alcohol in our blood. My fingertips ache amidst the memories of all the times I have run across her skin, feeling it burn under my touch.

My mind starts to cloud and the flashes of the two of us become more and more vivid. I try to push those thoughts away, but they seem to sink into my mind with force. My body heats up with every scene my mind plays. I feel the blood running the wrong way and I don't know how to stop it.

"Luke?" I'm startled by your touch on my hand. Marnie was looking at me with a mixture of curiosity and concern. “Are you okay?” I watch her hand squeeze mine, like she always did when I was angry or upset.

And just with that touch, everything stops inside me. The fire is gone and now I'm seized by a gigantic pain and rage in my chest, a rage for her being ripped from me so abruptly. I stare at her fingers moving gently, transmitting a caress throughout my body.

"Luke?" now she was looking at me extremely worried.

“Sorry. I think the drink hit.” I open a smile, trying to calm her down. M&Ms don't seem to buy much, but she smiles smugly.

“I already told you you're drinking a lot. In a little while you'll be passed out and won't even enjoy your own birthday party.” my smile widens in the midst of her care. "Don't give me that smile." she pushes my face away. "Is that all you wanted to talk about?"

“No!” this time I answer faster. “Actually, I wanted to give you something.” I fish the little white box in my pocket, feeling my fingers as soft as jelly. What if she doesn't like it? What if she gets angry?

“You know it's your birthday, right? You're the one who should get presents, not give. Especially for me.” she looks at me angrily, not wanting to accept the box.

"Well, it's my birthday and I'll do what I want, in which case I give it to you." I place the object in her hands. “I wanted to wait until your birthday, but it's still far away and I can't take it.” I lift my shoulders quickly, making her laugh.

Taking advantage of the fact that she was involved with the present, slowly, I move closer to her body, contenting myself with the least contact we have. I notice Marnie hold her breath at the sight of the blue quartz necklace, just like the one she had.

With no more reaction than that, I start to convince myself that I've fucked up and she hated it. It wasn't the time yet, as much as everything was going well, it wasn't the time yet.

“I can't believe you did this.” her voice comes out in a breath in surprise. I let my mind race to our first Christmas, where she gave me my necklace and I gave that star to her.

“If you don't like it…” my voice trails off as I see her eyes watery and filled with joy. It was the right time.

I'm not afraid to advance towards her, covering your lips with mine in a short kiss. The cherry taste becomes my favorite for the rest of the night. Marnie wipes her tears as she calls herself pathetic for crying.

"I know we used it as a dating ring, but it doesn't have to be-”

"Could you put it on for me?" she interrupts me, not caring about my fear. With my hands still trembling and cold, I close the necklace around her neck, enjoying the scene of her smiling enchanted by that stone. “Thanks!”

This time it is she who steps forward, stealing a kiss. The mood changes drastically. The screams outside seem to die in my ears, leaving only silence. The music that used to burst had ceased to exist.

That little kiss breaks, but she doesn't pull away, keeping her forehead still glued to mine. I'm startled when her eyes return to mine, I can see her perfectly there, in front of me, in my arms. I recognize that glow, that look and what it wanted to convey.

It was her there. The reason I get up every morning. The reason that makes me want to be better and better. The person I always want to impress. My girl. My Marnie.

I bring my hand to the back of her neck, bringing our lips together once more. I feel goose bumps as our tongues touch and her hand cups my face, holding me there. If she knew the last thing I want is to run away…

I'm surprised I feel despair on her side. The urgency on her lips. The need for the touch of her hands, the way they ran through my hair, the back of my neck and chest.

Easily, I pull her onto my lap, moaning, feeling her body against mine after so long. The fire that had previously ceased inside me, runs again through my veins, making everything too cloudy. I can't reason whether this was right or not. We both drink too much. She still hasn't given me full openness to so much attitude, even though she's still here, kissing me.

I try for a few minutes to clear my mind, to be a little rational and not get carried away by emotion, but the sound her mouth makes when I touch her neck with my lips ruins whatever train of thought I was building.

I touch the exact spots that make her moan and scramble for more friction. I watch thirstily as her eyes roll back and her lip is bitten in an attempt to control the moans. Her nails scratch the back of my neck, releasing an electric current that migrates between my legs.

I gasp when I feel her rub against my groin, spreading a current throughout my body. I want to beg her to do it again, but it's not really necessary, she knows and she does. So excruciating, but so good. Again I am startled to find that glow that I knew so much. I wonder where this Marnie was all along.

I shove my hand inside her shirt, enjoying her burning skin. I stroke the spot below her bra with my thumb, wanting not to frighten her. I suck the skin under her ear, lapping it with my tongue. My body combusts as she stirs and presses her crotch harder against mine. I cup her breast with enjoyment, hearing her call my name the way I liked it best.

Her desperate hands run inside my jacket, wanting to throw it away. I was ready to help when a heavy knock on the door disrupts our moment.

"What the fuck is it?" anger rips up my throat, causing a very angry scream. So much time to interrupt.

"It's time to cut the cake." I hear Calum's voice and feel like throwing him from the second floor.

“Serious? Stick the cake in your-” two small hands cover my mouth, preventing me from continuing.

“We're on our way, Cal.” Marnie yells louder and breathless.

I watch your body soften, lost and, I fear, even regretful. She is no longer there. She avoids looking at me, perhaps out of shame.

“It was better this way.” her sweet voice comes closer to a whisper.

“Was?” I stare at her, not wanting to accept that I was the only one to feel it. I know I wasn't, because her expression tells me I'm right.

“Was! You know it was.” her tone is still sweet, but her gaze is hard. "I think we'd better go downstairs." she gets up carefully, getting out of bed. I throw my head against my hands, visibly frustrated.

"Go ahead, I need to get both heads in place." I throw my body against the mattress.

“Sorry, Luke.” I can't stand her feeling guilty when she's the biggest victim of all this.

"M&Ms?" I leap out of bed, grabbing her before disappearing through the door. “It's not your fault. I'm the one who lost control, I'm sorry. You didn't give me the opening to attack you like that and I let myself go…” her lips silence me.

“It wasn't anyone's fault, can we do that?” I nod, stealing the last kiss before I let her go. "I'll wait for you downstairs." she announce.

I turn around, heading back to bed, still feeling frustration coursing through my veins.

“Hey!” I turn to see her there, standing in the doorway. My chest races with yearning from the many times I've seen her do the same scene. My ears and heart ache wanting to hear those words that always came next. Those three words that were so beautiful in her mouth. “Thanks for this.” she smiles and leaves.

I stare at the wood, snapping back to reality. I'm such an idiot for thinking she was going to say she loves me. I hide my face, exhausted. I look across the bed, able to see the two of us there, so given to each other.

I replay the scene in my head, tasting her kiss on my lips. Feeling my body tingle, still wanting her touch. The pressure on my pants becomes bigger and more uncomfortable. I need to make this go away. I scramble my mind for many things to calm myself down, but I can't. I can still feel her hands running around the back of my neck and her groin against mine.

"Shit!" I give up, going to the bathroom and locking myself in there. I don't care if I'm late, or what they think. I won't be able to eliminate this with thoughts alone.

I lower my pants and underwear, releasing my already throbbing member. I run my hand over it, making my body vibrate in relief. I let my mind flood with all thoughts and memories with her, feeling my body inflate further.

I increase my speed, being able to feel her touch through my body. I punch the wall, feeling my stomach contract. I rest my forehead against the cool coating, letting out several sighs. Her eyes flash in my mind.

The many times I've seen her face twist in pure orgasm under my touch. That smirk and that vulgar glow she always lets off before pulling me aside. And I always did, like a puppy.

My breathing gets out of control as I reach my orgasm. A wave of relief and lightness overcomes me, along with a wave of guilt. It must have been the 15th time since it all happened.

I can't have her. I can't stand the idea of ​​looking for someone else, even though we are not officially together, so I have to get by with baths and my bare hands, but as a result I feel like the dirtiest human being, as she doesn't even suspect.

I walk down the stairs, not attracting any attention. I find her sitting on the couch, on Leah's lap, laughing at some imitation Ashton was doing. I approach the group, who make no fuss about my delay.

I pick up the bottle of white wine on the coffee table, flipping half the contents. I feel her green eyes burn on me and I don't even have the courage to reciprocate by ignoring her.

“Is everything OK? Sorry if I messed something up.” Hood says next.

“It's OK! In fact, it was better, if you didn't show up, we would have done something stupid.” I say dry.

"Is that why this sour face?" he raises an eyebrow.

"I'm feeling awful for almost bringing her to this and not having the conscience to stop." I reveal a part of the guilt that burns in me.

“Luke, you are not complete strangers. And maybe she really wanted to go further, she just didn't know how. After all, at that moment she was supposed to be your f-”

"I know!" I cut it off, not wanting to hear the rest of the sentence.

For my salvation, someone starts to sing happy birthday and the matter is closed. I open a smile disguising the shit my head was on. Michael puts a little purple hat on my head, blowing a plastic horn, very excited.

The scene makes me laugh, relieving the stress. I watch Leah and Kyleen swing colorful pom poms behind Marnie, who is holding a small cake with several candles.

I look deep into her eyes, noticing her happiness to be there and somehow mine too. After all, she's here, even if she doesn't remember much, she's still here. The accident could have been a lot worse and I could have lost her forever.

I push the damn thoughts away, blowing out the candles and driving everyone crazy. I'm surprised when Marnie leans in, stealing a kiss, not caring that she's in front of everyone. Her rosy cheeks manage to steal a smile far bigger than Michael did.

In the back of the room, I notice Pam with her arms crossed and sulking. I don't know if Marnie did it on purpose, intent on teasing, but something she did, and if Pam is pissed off, we're happy.

The clock was already showing around 5:00 in the morning. I've already fluctuated my alcohol level more times than I can count. While the boys filled me with rum, M&Ms filled me with water and food, afraid I would go into an alcoholic coma or whatever. Of course I took advantage of her concern and all the attention she was giving me.

At some point during the party, Michael took over the DJ's table and there we were, jumping up behind him, singing I Want It That Way at the top of our lungs, with the lost girls trying to do the choreography. That was definitely the best thing about the party, right after my moment with Marnie in the bedroom.

Right after his moment commanding the party's playlist, Clifford decided to climb on the roof to jump into the pool. Something that was already taking a while to happen. What he and no one expected was Marnie yelling at him, worried.

“It's comical, because if it weren't for the amnesia and the lack of alcohol, she would be the one on the roof.” Irwin comments lying beside me, watching the scene of her yelling at Michael, asking him to come down.

“And we called the fire department because she got stuck again.” I shake my head, wanting not to laugh at the memories. “Good times.” I'm toasting my friend, still watching her worriedly behind the older one.

Sitting in the garden, talking to some friends, I watch the girl laughing in a circle with Noah and Calum. She gets up, walking into the house, returning in a few minutes. I watch her come around, stopping behind me.

“Now the one who needs to talk is me.” she whispers in my ear. I don't think twice about taking your hand and heading out of the wheel chat.

I can see a large package in her hands and the idea of ​​being my gift makes me anxious. A little farther away from the mess that remained, she hands me the black box with a gold bow on top. Before opening it, I take a look at her excited smile, letting out a laugh.

I find five rings and three necklaces arranged around the box. I can't hold back the smile, seeing what she's chosen. I know I might look like an idiot for some jewelry, but it's amazing jewelry she picked out.

“You liked?” she bites her lower lip, curious.

“I loved!” I hug your body, thanking her. I know she has no intentions other than to give me a birthday present, but of course I will wear these rings and necklaces with more affection than usual. “Thanks.” I mean, still ecstatic.

Hand in hand, we approached the crowd again, bumping into Kiki, Sophie and Michael.

“We were thinking about going to Michael's house. The party is already boring and I'm hungry.” Kiki comments. I look a little offended at her, after all, that was my birthday party. “Oh! Nothing personal.” she laughs, slapping me on the shoulder.

“What do you think?” I ask the M&Ms, who shrug their shoulders. "Have you talked to the rest?"

“Leah was going to call Noah and Ash, we were going to rescue Calum.”

“OK! We'll get our stuff and meet you at the door.” Marnie agrees and so we disperse.

Still holding hands, we walked back upstairs, looking for her bag. In the kitchen, I grab a bottle of vodka, a tequila, and a whiskey, trying to put everything in my bag, but it doesn't quite work.

“We should take advantage of the gathering and have your liver funeral.” I turn to Marnie who glares at me, seeing three bottles in my arm and me struggling to open one of beer.

Easily, we made our way to the front door, finding Kiki and Sophie. Gradually, everyone arrived and so we left the party, without saying goodbye to anyone.

“Uh, tequila?” Hood comes towards me, hugging the bottle.

Michael's house was the closest and, having drunk too much, we thought we'd better walk.

On the way, we stopped at a bakery, buying a bunch of things to eat. The day was already showing signs of life when we arrived at Mike's house. At the dinner table, we spread out the stolen drinks and food, starting our round table, as well as picking up several board games that Michael kept.

“I wanted to propose a toast to Mr. Luke Hemmings.” Noah draws the toast, making everyone raise their glasses and bottles. “One of the few people worth meeting in this hellish city where you can't trust anyone. The other people are unfortunately not present…”

A shower of paper balls and food flies towards the 20 minutes older twin. I'm surprised when I watch Marnie leave my arms, standing up.

“I also wanted to give a speech.”

“You didn't have to, babe.” I say, shaking her hand that still had our fingers intertwined.

“It's not about you.” she sticks out her tongue, causing everyone to scream.

“Ouch!” I put my hand to my chest, accepting the blow and still feeling my heart race.

“Shut up.” she screams, laughing. “Well, I wanted to make this toast in thanks to all of you. I know it's been three years of friendship, but for me it's only been a month and even with all the confusion and breakup.” her fingers squeeze mine and I move them, giving them a light caress. “You still took me in and took great care of me. I am eternally grateful for that. Leah doesn't even start crying, I need to get this over with and if I cry it's going to go wrong.” the mood breaks a little with the laughter. “Bottom line, I just want to say that whatever the future holds, I like you all a lot and that this isn't just a bunch of crazy friendship the universe threw at me, it's the family I've been looking for. As Noah said, you're the few people worth living in this hell of a city and I love you all so much. Cheers!”

Everyone raises their glasses once more, toasting her speech. I cross my gaze with Leah, who has also noticed something odd. She still hadn't commented on Monday's episode and I still had it hanging around in my mind.

It was very visible that something was troubling her. Her eyes wandering lost, her disappearance since Monday until today, claiming to be super busy and out of time. Everyone was sensing that something was wrong, but she wouldn't let go or comment on it.

“Especially you.” I focus my attention on her, who settles back into my arms. “Regardless of our future, I like you very much.” she whispers, before pressing her lips to mine. “Please never forget that. Promise?”

I get lost in her eyes, noticing a hint of fear and pain in them. It's horrible to see her like this and not know what to do. For nothing in this world I want her to feel unprotected or alone, she said herself that we are a family, so she wouldn't have to face anything alone.

“Only if you promise me you'll tell me what's going on.” I play hard, not caring if this becomes an issue between us, or if it pushes her away a little.

“Luke…” my name comes out in a painful sigh.

"Marnie." I say her name harshly, wanting her to understand that I won't change my mind.

“I'll tell. Just not today. Today is your day and that's what matters to me. So please let's enjoy?” she begs. As always, I surrender, nodding. I drop a kiss to her forehead, before pulling her to my chest again.

Hastings still looks at me suspiciously and unfortunately I only have reason to agree with her. Something was up with Marnie and she didn't want to tell us.

A minute of silence, our baby is turning 25 today and I am not knowing how to handle it.