#healing is a process

[messiahzzz]

this informational piece is directed to the gale fandom specifically:

grooming is a tactic where someone methodically builds a trusting relationship with a child or young adult, their family, and community to manipulate, coerce, or force the child or young adult to engage in sexual activities.

1. Choosing a victim - The predator often chooses a child who is obviously vulnerable. Children who are withdrawn, low on confidence, emotionally deprived and with less parental supervision are particularly at risk.

2. Building access & trust - Sexual abuse often begins with friendship. The abuser can also take on other roles such as a romantic partner, a mentor, a caregiver or an authority figure. The abuser spends time in getting to know the victim's likes, dislikes and habits and pretending to share common interests. The perpetrator establishes trust with the child by making them feel special, sometimes through gifts or excessive compliments and attention. This is especially dangerous for vulnerable children who do not experience attention in their daily lives. In the trust development stage, offenders aim to develop a trusting friendship or relationship with their victim. This can involve several tactics, including:

a) praising the child for their maturity and intelligence;

b) encouraging the child to disclose personal information;

c) syncing their language with that of the child;

d) highlighting mutuality (i.e., similar interests, attitudes and behaviors between the offender and child); and finally,

e) portraying themselves as being trustworthy and nice.

3. Filling a need with gifts & favors - Giving the victim small gifts and favours is a strategy used by perpetrators to make the child feel indebted. Trust is further built by sharing intimate life details, going on special outings and giving the child access to things they normally wouldn’t get. Once the offender has identified a child’s needs, they will try to be the “hero” to the child who gives them what they desire. Examples include gifts, extra attention, or affection. This causes the child to see them as highly important and even idolized. They won’t want to upset them in risk of not getting the void in their life fulfilled.

4. Isolating - The groomer actively tries to isolate the child from people who may be watchful or helpful. This kind of isolation creates deeper connection & dependency. The offender also exhibits exemplary behaviour before parents of the victim & manipulates them into trusting the relationship. They will use this trust to create situations in which they are alone with the child. Time spent alone also reinforces the “special connection” the child feels they have with the offender. This “special connection” is further reinforced when the offender convinces the child that they love and appreciate them more than anyone else.

5. Initiating sexual contact - With the power over the child victim established through emotional connection coercion or one of the other tactics, the perpetrator may eventually initiate physical contact with the victim. It may begin with touching that is not overtly sexual (though a predator may find it sexually gratifying) and that may appear to be casual (arm around the shoulder, pat on the knee, etc.). Gradually, the perpetrator may introduce more sexualized touching. By breaking down inhibitions and desensitizing the child, the perpetrator can begin overtly touching the child. At this stage, the offender will exploit a child’s natural curiosity through physical touch and excitement. They will begin to teach the child sexual preferences and manipulate what the child responds to. The child begins to see themselves as a sexual being prematurely and the relationship with the offender now takes on a sexual term.

6. Post-abuse maintenance - The goal of the final stage is to ensure the child remains trapped in the cycle of abuse and loyal to the abuser, by either reinforcing and maintaining trust in order to prevent disclosure, or by explicitly threatening or blackmailing the child or their loved ones. This can also be reinforced and maintained by, for instance, giving the child affection, praise or encouragement for one’s actions.

[whirlwindofstuff]

[thepeacefulgarden]

[borderlinebelle]

“happy hellion healing”,

a photo series, 3/31/2024

I did these all by myself outside of a lovely little holiday gathering.

I am learning to love my skin again.

I held on to these for so long because I kept wanting it to be an intimate moment between myself and … myself… 😂 but I am ready to share.

and yeah .. I look pretty conventionally unconventionally …

and most days, I’m grateful for my mothers fine angles, full cheeks, and abundant lips. (despite her .. difficult attributes and personal struggle that spans through time and space to echo through me from birth to now …)

but deeply, I SEE A HAPPY HUMAN AGAIN. I see a healing human. I see a CHANGE EMBRACING powerhouse of fucking stamina and grace. I see a body excessively scarred but solid, strong, disciplined, determined, and resilient … and so so so so soft at the same time.

When I think about the methods they used to bring my little soul back to this body .. again and again… the shiver is molecular.

(supposedly)

a human being’s most inherit trait: the will to stay alive

I’ve betrayed this body by brutalizing it for every mistake, for every whisper of my mother or father’s voice, for every previous misstep, and every challenged choice, for every emotional explosion, for every mentally ill moment of grief and pain and sorrow and FEAR…x10000000 times over… and all it’s done … is keep me alive!

I see ME…CLEARLY for the first time … in a long time.

I know I have so much… wreckage from my past to wade through… but I look forward to it now. With these clearer eyes… maybe I can repurpose the absolute TAR into creativity.

👍🏽🤷🏽‍♀️🫀

i havta try.

[theidlespoon]

you think you're over it and then out of the blue you're curled up on your bathroom floor listing five things you can see four things you can touch three things you can hear.

[feralchaton]

"I dare you to take me on. I dare you to show me your palms. I'm so bored of cowards who say they want (love) then they can't handle love."

- Björk

[safe-haven-safe-place]

[ancientpersacom]

Plurality isn’t always scary

Made with childhood pictures taken when we were co conscious.

Even if the world will never be normal about plurality, that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to work with it and achieve functionality. Even though I don’t think we’ll ever be fully functional, we’re at a point where most days are calm and everyone gets along. Sure, I can’t remember three whole years of my life. Sure, I can’t control who switches and when. But we communicate well enough to trust each other no matter what happens.

No, plurality isn’t always easy. But I’d not trade the system for the world.

Happiness with your system is possible.

[vizthedatum]

DBT realization: radical acceptance isn’t toxic positivity. It can mean accepting exactly how bad it feels, how upset you are, how sad you are, how you fucked up, how everything else is fucked… AND making room for all the things that aren’t so fucked up.

Those latter moments can be appreciated just as much as the unsavory ones… but you need to be able to feel all of it.

[isabellehemlock]

Something that I don't think is talked about enough when it comes to processing trauma: sometimes, healing is grieving.

Grieving for a person lost. Or, for a childhood you never got to have. For the familiarity - regardless how unhealthy - because it's the only thing you know. Or, for the people who outgrew you, for one's you outgrew along the way.

Healing is a process that isn't necessarily peaceful.

Sometimes it's grieving for what could have been, what should have been, and releasing the pain in whatever healthy coping skills you're able to build for yourself.

[softtopxpressions]

I’m really starting to step into my style…and it’s so nice finally being the me I’ve always seen and never could attain 💖

[feehippielove]

🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤

🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤🫀🖤

[occhicerchiati]

I can do scary and hard things.

re-read when needed.

[sunandflame]

You were my hero, but you turned out to be my worst nightmare.

[siriuslyremus]

hey, it is okay to struggle with things you thought you healed from <3

[feralchaton]