thinking about the expert masseuse Alfred hired for the family that is paid a small fortune annually to provide massage services and ignore so, so many things. No questions, no remarks, just quality service and an ironclad NDA that, if broken, would probably topple said masseuse’s entire family line.
Things Alfred is paying them to ignore, in no specific order:
Bruce’s spinal hardware courtesy of Bane :)
weird amounts of muscle on everyone, even the kids (despite them allegedly not working physical jobs)
scars
FRESH scars
the fact that every joint in Bruce’s body clicks when moved/manipulated at the tender age of 42
Olympic athlete level physiques
rotator cuff injuries across the whole family
scars that are definitely from bullets and/or acid splashes
old signs of what looks like torture (Bruce)
Dick’s entire left arm is basically screws and plates (he “fell really bad” once)
every single family member takes deep tissue massage with max pressure with 0 complaints
calluses
no really, the weirdest fucking calluses
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100 trans/genderqueer musicians
Bands
Against Me! (rock, folk punk) (x)
The Oozes (punk) (x)
The Hirs Collective (metal, grindcore) (x)
GEL (hardcore punk) (x)
Urn (hardcore punk) (x)
The Black Dresses (noise pop, hardcore hyperpop) (x)
Party Ghost (rock) (x)
Lagrimas (hardcore punk, scream punk) (x)
Doll Skin (rock) (x)
Dazey and the Scouts (rock, indie) (x)
G.L.O.S.S. (hardcore punk) (x)
Dog Park Dissidents (punk rock) (x)
She/Her/hers (rock) (x)
Deli Girls (hardcore electronic) (x)
Dream Nails (punk rock) (x)
Sarah and the Safe Word (rock, dark cabaret) (x)
Pinkie Promise (punk rock) (x)
B. Fraser (emo) (x)
Newgrounds Death Rugby (emo) (x)
Scowl (hardcore punk) (x)
Feminazgul (black metal) (x)
Sports Bra (dream pop, light rock) (x)
Club Sofa (indie pop) (x)
The Cost ov Living (grindcore, harsh noise) (x)
Kuromy (punk) (x)
The Sonder Bombs (indie, pop) (x)
Lidocaine (rock) (x)
I'm letting unseen forces take the wheel (cybergrind) (x)
Gum Disease (punk) (x)
Cam Girl (rock, trash rock) (x)
Gully Boys (grunge pop) (x)
Arcadia Grey (sparkle punk) (x)
Schmekel (folk punk) (x)
Destructo Disk (punk rock) (x)
User Unauthorized (hardcore punk) (x)
The Spook School (indie pop) (x)
Pinkshift (emo) (x)
Glass Beach (emo) (x)
Butch Baby (light rock) (x)
VIAL (indie punk) (x)
Sister Wife Sex Strike (folk punk) (x)
homewrecker. (metal, hardcore punk) (x)
Mega Mango (indie rock) (x)
Keep For Cheap (prarie rock) (x)
Steam Powered Giraffe (cabaret, steampunk) (x)
Thotcrime (grindcore, cybergrind) (x)
Whirlybird (indie pop) (x)
Kampsport (hardcore punk) (x)
Um Jennifer? (alt-rock, punk) (x)
Scarlet Demore (alt-rock) (x)
HappyHappy (folk, folk-punk) (x)
Queen Zee (punk) (x)
Grumpy Plum (slop pop) (x)
Cheap Perfume (punk) (x)
Pollyanna (power-pop, rock) (x)
Ballista (metalcore) (x)
Faetooth (fairy doom, metal) (x)
Lacerated (death metal) (x)
Fortuna Malvada (hardcore punk) (x)
Peach Rings (bedroom power-pop) (x)
Solo Artists
Laura Jane Grace (rock, folk punk) (x)
Left at London (pop) (x)
ZAND (pop, ugly pop) (x)
Ada Rook (hardcore electronic) (x)
Ms. White (pop) (x)
Rett Madison (indie, folk) (x)
Murder Person for Hire (folk) (x)
Backxwash (rap, industrial hip hop) (x)
LustSickPuppy (electronic, rap) (x)
Babylungs (electronic, rap) (x)
Human Kitten (folk punk) (x)
Harley Poe (folk punk) (x)
Ewy (emo, folk punk) (x)
Averstaskta (instrumental) (x)
Andie Schoen (indie) (x)
Elliot Lee (dark pop, electronic rock) (x)
Urias (hip hop, ballroom) (x)
Twink Obliterator* (cybergrind) (x)
Rio Romeo (cabaret punk, indie) (x)
Knife Girl (art pop, indie) (x)
Alexander James Adams (folk) (x)
Starmaxx (pop) (x)
Sofya Wang (pop, alt-R&B) (x)
Boy Jr (indie/alt pop) (x)
Medusa (revenge pop, hip-hop) (x)
Mal Blum (singer-songwriter, folk) (x)
Gina Young (riot grrrl) (x)
Petra Fiyd (indie pop) (x)
awfultune (bedroom pop) (x)
Quinn Hills (alternative pop) (x)
Femtanyl (electronic) (x)
Vivivivivi (electronic, glitchcore) (x)
Lilac Boy (glitchcore) (x)
Rosie Tucker (indie rock) (x)
Ryan Cassata (singer-songwriter) (x)
Pain Chain (noise, synth) (x)
In Love With A Ghost (electronic, lo-fi) (x)
Alice Longyu Gao (hyperpop) (x)
Prophetic Nightmares (ambient synthwave) (x)
Saint Wellesley (indie folk) (x)
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