#i cannot listen to another country song this night

[fangirl-dot-com]

Chapter 6 - Ok It’s Happening! Everyone Stay Calm!

This chapter is going to span Tuesday night into Wednesday night. Nothing really happens in between the initial post and family dinner, so I tried to add some things to fluff it up. You finally get to read a bit of reader-lore. The next chapter, “Family Dinner,” will be posted Wednesday night. Enjoy and don’t forget to comment to be added to the tag list :D 

Arthur had to leave early Monday morning. You were sad, but were thankful that he was able to come spend a few nights with you. You almost forgot why you were in London in the first place. 

Oh yeah, to become one of the best freaking F1 drivers there ever were. You could see the TikTok edits now. You hoped there would be at least one with an Olivia Rodrigo song in the background. Or maybe Taylor Swift? The possibilities were endless. 

You were able to drive the car a few more times in the span of Monday and today. You really felt like you were becoming more familiar with it. One of the last times, they put you into the RB-19, just to get a feel for it for Vegas. 

Speaking of Vegas, something popped up on your Instagram that you just had to share with Vito. 

“Hey Vito, can you find me someone to marry while I’m in Vegas?” you nonchalantly asked while the two of you were having breakfast. He nearly spit out his orange juice. 

“Excuse me?” he responded while wiping his mouth with the nice cloth napkin. The brunch place was very high end. You ended up getting pancakes though, while Vito got something you didn’t even want to try to pronounce. 

“Well, there’s this Formula 1 wedding chapel, and I thought, how cool would it be to get married there while it’s up? So, I thought I’d ask to see if you could find me someone.” 

Vito took a deep breath before massaging his brow. He was “this close” to quitting. But he would never do that to you. Instead, he said, “Kid. You cannot get married in Vegas.” 

He thought you would have put up more of a fight, but you just shrugged and stuffed your mouth full of another bite of pancake. He shook his head as he tried to take another sip of his drink. The breakfast went well after that. You didn’t try to bring it up, but somehow, you would find your way to this chapel. Even if you weren’t going to get married. 

As the two of you walked out of the building, you angled your body to Vito. “So, what do I have to do?” 

He looked at his phone, “So you have to approve your helmet. And then we have to take some pictures for your post tonight. Tomorrow we have a flight to catch that will take us to Vegas. After, you will get settled at the hotel and then eat dinner with the team.” 

“Geez, that seems like a lot doesn’t it?” You opened the driver door to your vehicle. Vito had said that it was your time to drive. You wanted to argue that every other waking moment was spent behind the wheel, but you knee that he wanted to be the passenger princess for once. He said that was not the case as he couldn’t handle you picking Country Girl by Luke Bryan one more time.

He said he even heard the song in his dreams. 

You thought that was total madness. How could someone get tired of Luke Bryan. Maybe Daniel would listen to it with you at some point, if the two of you got close enough. Vito had walked around the car, got in, and started to buckle. 

Using the button to start the car, the engine came to life. You carefully backed out of the parking space and pulled onto the road. Per the request of the Vito and Mitch, you were to return to RB to go over some last-minute paperwork and things of that nature. 

Since the drive was so familiar by now, the time seemed to fly by even faster. You knew what you were doing. It was crazy to think that just last week, you were winning your F2 championship with no future plans. And now you were pulling up to headquarters like it was just another Tuesday. 

Time was weird like that. 

At the building, you almost cried when you saw your helmet. You wanted to make a joke, but decided against it. You could do that later over the radio in free practice one. It was everything that your little F1-loving heart ever wanted. The white and silver had a great contrast. But your favorite part was the glitter. You tried it on and had a couple of pictures taken. You let them know which ones were your favorites. 

You later found yourself in a conference room going over last-minute legal things. Vito made sure that you knew what you were getting into with a multi-year contract and how much it would damage you if you were to break it. You were still 100 percent with it all. You also discussed what picture you wanted to use for their official statement. You picked one that had been taken after your first F2 win of the 2023 season. You sheepishly smiled when they pointed out the Mercedes logo, but you told them that it was there since you had won a sponsorship to help pay for everything. You had no loyalties to the other British team. 

“All right, I think that wraps things up. Any questions, comments, or concerns?” one of the lawyers asked as he packed his things up. 

With multiple shakings of heads, he bid farewell and left the room. 

Now that it was just you, Mitch, and Vito, you spun your chair to face the two of them. You felt like a villain out of a movie as you put your hands together.

“Mitch, did you bring the special thing that I asked for?” you said in a darker tone, wanting to feel mysterious. 

She rolled her eyes as she got up and walked to a clothing bag that was laying on the end of the table. She brought it back over and laid it over your lap. 

You unzipped the bag and stared at the item. It was a vintage Red Bull bomber jacket. Just the sight wanted to make you cry. 

You stood up and carefully put the jacket on. You turned towards Mitch and Vito. 

“How do I look?” you asked. Now you were getting shy. You might be loud with people you were comfortable with, but you always put people’s opinion of you over anything else. They both had comforting smiles. 

“I think you were born to wear that jacket kid,” Vito said, with almost tears in his eyes. 

“Same here Y/n. You truly belong with us,” Mitch said as she gave you a hug. You let a few tears fall when doing so. It had been long since you really felt accepted somewhere. 

With your parents, you constantly wanted their approval, but never got it. That drove you to be the best at everything. People always told you to quit in F4, but you slowly rose above them as you entered F3. There, people told you that you, a girl, did not belong in F3. You were only 15 at the time. 

You proved them wrong as you became the first female to join the ranks of F2 two years later. You spent 3 years fighting for your hard earned right to be there. It got easier with the help of friends, but you always wanted more. One more chance to prove yourself. And you got that with the F1 seat. 

“Could we take a few pictures for me to post later?” Mitch and Vito agreed. You three found a nice spot on a hidden balcony. It basically looked like you were on the sidewalk, but you wouldn’t take that risk. It was too close and you had people right where you wanted them. 

You had grabbed an iconic can of Red Bull on your way out and cracked it open to pose with it. It took a good 30 minutes for you to get the pose correctly. 

While going through those photos, you spoke up. 

“Did you know that my first kart had the Red Bull logo on it. I loved that thing, even if I crashed it multiple times.” You chuckled at the memories. 

“What goes around comes around,” Vito muttered as he went through the photos. 

“Reminds me of that Taylor Swift sound on Tik Tok. It’s been a long time coming.” 

Mitch gave a playful scoff, “You should use that as your caption.” You hadn’t thought of that! Mitch definitely thought that you wouldn’t, but the look on your face showed her that you really wanted to do it. She, once again, rolled her eyes at your antics. But, she herself was comforted by your easy-going personality. She had only known you for a couple of days, but you were becoming very dear to her. 

You were becoming very dear to everyone. Every worker was amazed at your talent. A few even compared you to Sebastian Vettel and their very own champion Max Verstappen. But Mitch wouldn’t tell you that in fear of scaring you off. It was a big thing to be compared to the two legends, but you didn’t need that pressure on you. You already had been through so much. Vito had let Mitch know before of what has happened with past race strategists. She never wanted to be like what you’ve had to deal with. 

You now were beginning to explain the entirety of why Taylor Swift was re-recording her albums in the first place. Your hands were pointing at invisible objects in the air while Vito just stood and listened. Mitch thought it would be hilarious to see you and Max discuss race tactics. 

There was the Maxsplaining and the Leclerifying. Now you would be Y/n-strating (illustrating but with your name in front). 

“And that is why we don’t like Scooter. We’re gonna come for his ankles before he can come for ours. Mother never told us to be nice to him,” you gestured as you finished your rant. Vito looked bored to death while Mitch was just smirking at the two of you. You wondered what she was thinking about. 

Oh well. She could read your mind but you couldn’t read hers. 

When it got dark, you and Vito headed back to hotel to pack before you were supposed to be at the hotel. Riggs, Lacy, Mitch, and other personnel would be flying out with you. There would be no commercial flight, instead there would be a private plane for everyone. You couldn’t wait, since this would be the first time to fly privately. 

There was really nothing different to it until you actually got on the plane. Security was the same and the private lounge area wasn’t much different than the ones you had already been to. There were fewer seats on the plane, but everyone fit comfortable. 

You were excited that you didn’t have to pay for WIFI on the plane to watch your TV shows. There were a couple of Brooklyn 99 episodes that you hadn’t seen yet. Once those were finished, you told yourself that you’d take a quick nap and wake up way before you landed. 

That was a lie. 

You practically slept the entire way there, and was only awoken by the plane landing. You were excited to be back in the states. You hadn’t been in years. Texas would always be your favorite state though, since you lived there for 5 years when you were in your teens. You had begged Arthur and Ollie to go with you once, but they declined and you ended up not going. You couldn’t wait to drive at COTA. 

The nap really helped as you weren’t exhausted when you got to the hotel. Vito told you though that you had time to sleep before you needed to wake up the next morning. But the nerves were getting to you. 

At 9 a.m. Red Bull would be posting the statement. Which reminded you to do the same. You inhaled sharply as you picked the pictures on your Instagram. You were able to find a picture of your old kart, and you definitely used Mitch’s suggestion for the caption. You tagged Red Bull before posting and turning off your phone. You could deal with everything tomorrow morning when you had gotten a good night’s sleep.  

Well, that good night’s sleep was way too short for your liking. Your alarm sounded way too loud and interrupted the nice dream that you were having. It was something about marrying some dude at the F1 chapel. You just couldn’t get it out of your mind. 

You took a shower to at least feel better. The staleness of the plane air clung to you throughout the night. Should you have showered after sending the world into a panic? Yes. But did you? No. Your phone might as well have combusted last night. Turning on the front screen, there were thousands upon thousands of notifications. You simply swiped left and deleted them all. 

Opening your Instagram, it was worse. Your face was everywhere. Happily, enough, almost everything was a positive outlook. Only a few bad ones stood out, but you knew better than to look. While scrolling, you were interrupted by a face time request from Ollie. You quickly picked up and were met with the sight of his face. With jaw dropped, he just stared at you. 

“Hello to you to?” 

You pulled the phone away from your face as he started screeching. You just listened as he ranted for another 10 minutes before he went silent. 

“You done?” you deadpanned. 

“Uh, yeah. I think so.” 

“Ok good.” You went on to tell him about everything that happened in the past week. He definitely whined when you told him that Arthur knew before he did. He demanded that you tell him next time. And you told him that you hoped that there wouldn’t be a next time. You were determined to stay with Red Bull for as long as possible. 

After the phone call, you kind of just chilled around the room all day. Dinner wasn’t until later and you had time to get ready. 

After watching episodes upon episodes, you saw that you needed to get ready. With your trusty playlist, cans of hair spray, your makeup, and your curling iron – you were ready for the battle that was looking perfect for dinner. 

Each curl had to be calculated, each face product must be weighed to the exact suggested amount. Did you do either? No. 

You just did it how you normally did, and somehow you got it done. You took a quick picture and posted it on your story. The dress you picked was black. A long slit showed just enough leg, while there was only one sleeve. You paired it with some gold heals. You only hoped it wasn’t too much, but you wanted to make a good impression. Vito had gotten the go ahead from Christian beforehand. The restaurant was supposed to be of the upmost hoity-toity-ness and you hoped you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself. 

With a knock on your door, you knew it was time to meet the family.  

(Your story)

Tag List : @awekbachira @lightdragonrayne @leilanixx @angsthology @digitalizeduniqueness @topguncultleader @landosgirlxoxo @gods-menace @itsjustkhaos @thefandomswhre @alwaysboredsworld @vellicora @bintuabbas @sam-is-lost @empress-kimiko @assholeinatrenchcoat @kagatinkita @glitterquadricorn @zyonsay @tsukishimawhore @treehouse-mouse

[httpknjoon]

spotted | jjk

plot | This is how it started for the princess and the rockstar.

words | 3.8k

genres | fluff, modern royalty!au, celebrity!au

pairing | rockstar!jungkook x princess!reader

note | hi!! this is my first entry for this series and I'm so excited to write more about this pair in the future. let me know your thoughts! enjoy reading :)

main masterlist | drabble series

Royal Sisters, Princesses YN and Astrid Spotted Dancing at Sweet September’s Concert

On Friday night, the princesses were snapped watching the rock band at Crystalline Stadium.

Following the closing of the Royal Games earlier that day, Princesses YN, 25, and Astrid, 19, were spotted attending another big event in the country: Sweet September’s first Denim Jungle stop.

Fans of the rock band were stunned to see the two royalties in the said concert. Although the two sat in secluded seats in the stadium, they still attracted attention. Some concertgoers managed to capture pictures and short clips of the royalties enjoying the band’s performance– mostly Princess Astrid.

The usual contrast between the royal sisters is evident during their presence. Princess Astrid sported a rock-themed outfit with her oversized black leather jacket, red graphic tank top, flare jeans, and platform boots. On the other hand, Princess YN stayed true to her classy fashion style, wearing a black and white-collared Prada dress and knee-high boots. Both princesses wore black sunglasses during the whole event. The youngest sang and danced along to Sweet September’s tracks while the crown princess just nods her head to the beat. 

Worry not! Princess Astrid made Princess YN jump and dance along with her during the band’s performance of their hit song, My Fair Lady.

“You two will have your own entrance and exit spots. Ronnie and Ben would accompany you two to the entrance and would meet you at the same gate after the concert.”

Your father’s trusty courtier, Eddie, guided you and your sister with what you’re supposed to do. There were rules you have to remember. Especially since Astrid practically begged your parents to not have bodyguards with her in this event. Your father only agreed to let her come if you come too, knowing that you rarely go out outside of your royal duties. But since you love your sister, you agreed to go even though you don’t really listen to Astrid’s types of music.

After the closing of Zafiro’s Royal Games earlier this day, your parents left for a conference in Scotland. That reason made you in charge of your younger sister. But since you two don’t really live in a simple household, you are still looked after by your Royal Staff for your safety.

“Is that all, Uncle?”

Astrid already had her arms crossed as she asked that. It’s been fifteen minutes since your car arrived in front of this secret entrance to the concert. But because of the King’s instructions, you and your sister are now itching in your seats to go.

Eddie smiled, noticing your sister’s tone, “I know you are excited about this concert, Your Royal Highness. But His Majesty still has one last message… and this is a very important one so listen.”

Your sister is ready to let out an exaggerated sigh. You are ready to calm down her rising shoulders. But Eddie continued,

“Please remind my lovely girls to enjoy the night amidst my tiring instructions. Take pictures and sing along. I would love to hear stories from them about this very important concert– based on what my Astrid said– when I and my queen get back from our short trip to Scotland. Follow what your Uncle Eddie says.”

A small smile formed on your lips with that. Finally, Eddie lets you two go with your bodyguards until the gate. Then, Gerald, a nice concert staff, welcomed you into the venue and led you and your sister to your seats.

“Oh, my god. I cannot believe Papa let us come here alone.” your sister said as she slipped the Xyloband into her wrist.

“I know…” your voice trailed off when you heard the people singing along to the song playing not too far away. You turned to the staff, “Excuse me, is the concert starting already?”

“No, Ma’am. We’re just playing the band’s music videos before they perform on stage. But they will be performing in a few minutes.”

You nodded with that. You went to concerts before, but not like this one. You liked jazz and classical music and would always try to go to concerts whenever you can. Those concerts are very much different than this band’s.

“These are your seats, Your Royal Highnesses,” Gerald spoke.

“Thank you so much.” you and Astrid said as you walked to the two empty seats.

With that, the staff left you. The seats are not that close or far from the main stage and it’s in the center. For safety purposes, your father and the security team agreed to not put you two in the floor spots where you can see the band better. Still, Astrid finds these spots great.

You assumed your father pulled some strings to make this possible since you heard from Astrid that the tickets were sold out as soon as it’s started selling. It made you wonder what’s good in Sweet September. You probably heard about them before, mainly because Astrid’s a rock-music enthusiast, but you don’t really know anything about them. Except that they recently worked with UNICEF for a campaign focused on cyberbullying. But you know nothing about their music.

“Oh, look at that! Look at those signs!”

Your sister was laughing while she points her finger somewhere. Your eyes followed where she was pointing.

DEAR CARTER, I’M A DRUMMER TOO. LET ME ROCK YOU! ;)

I SOLD MY CAR FOR THIS

MARRY ME MINGYU

HAIL KING WOOSUNG

CAN Y’ALL BE MY VALENTINE <3

Among those aggressive signs, there is one that made your eyes stretch wide and look away.

JUNGKOOK LET ME PUT OIL ON YOUR ABS

What was that supposed to mean? You wanted to ask Astrid but she was already talking to another fan who’s seating beside her. The said fan seemed surprised and delighted at the same time when she locked eyes with you for a second. You just smiled. As a highly-regarded crown princess, you know that they least expect you to show up in a rock concert next to them.

You then turned to your other side, where you immediately locked eyes with a lady who seemed a bit older than you. She instantly looked away and slowly looked back after a few seconds. She probably thought you were not looking at her anymore. But you are. And you can tell who she is by her awkward aura and stiff movements.

Part of showing respect to royalties, the public cannot talk to you until you speak with them first. So you decided to say something directly.

“Did the King hire you?” you asked her in a small whisper.

You don’t Astrid to hear it. You want her to focus on the fact that she is free from your parents’ overprotectiveness tonight. You can see the hesitation on her face but you can already tell that she is a secret security Eddie hired.

“It’s fine. I understand.” you gave her a reassuring smile. “Please, enjoy the concert too.”

The woman nods and bows subtly. You turned away. Astrid already has new friends. Between you two, she definitely is the friendlier one. It’s not like you are hostile. But she is just more carefree than you. Ever since you were a kid, you already followed the rules by the book. You know that you are in line for the throne and you need to be rightful for it. So you always try to be professional in your duties. You studied and work for your country.

“It’s a surprise to see you in here, Your Royal Highness.” one of Astrid’s new friends said.

“Please, just call me Astrid or you can add that princess title if you’re uncomfortable with calling me by name.” she quipped and they laughed. “Actually, the King only let me come here when Princess YN agreed to accompany me.”

Her friends’ mouths all formed into a small o. You waved at them, and they bow their heads. Suddenly, the lights slowly dimmed down and everyone began screaming– including Astrid. To say that your sister is excited was an understatement. It’s like she slept with a hanger in her mouth with how wide she’s smiling. Your cheeks hurt for her. But you’re happy to see her happy.

Taps on the microphone can be heard before someone cleared their throat, building up everyone’s excitement. You stood there, just listening to them and observing.

“Everyone, welcome to the denim jungle!”

Someone began playing a good riff on a bass guitar. The band’s silhouette is recognizable on stage. In the first beat of the drum, the lights snapped open. There, your eyes directly spotted the lead vocalist.

Droplets of sweat made his skin feel gluey as he ran his hand through his damp dark hair. His plain form-fitting white top is almost useless with how it almost got transparent with his body. His chest heaves as he removes his earpiece.

“Great show tonight, boys!”

A staff greeted them on their way down from the stage. After almost three hours of singing, playing with instruments, and interacting with the audience, Jungkook can finally feel relief in his body. With his throat feeling a little sore earlier, he was careful with it throughout the whole concert.

“Okay, let’s take a picture first!” a staff declared.

Jungkook, Carter, Mingyu, and Woosung lined up and posed for a couple of pictures that their staff would post later. After that, the four talked about their performance as they cool off.

“My earpiece is a mess.” Woosung shared. “I cannot hear the drums well. I think it stopped working for a few seconds during Blue Skies.”

“Okay, we have extra of those. You can test your new one in your next rehearsals.” Tara, their manager, responded.

The others shared their thoughts for tonight. Jungkook just listened for the sake of his throat. When he felt it getting strained, he cleared his throat and reached for a bottle of water.

“How are you feeling now?” Mingyu tapped his shoulder.

“The same,” he answered shortly. “It didn’t feel better or worse than earlier.”

“Well, let’s go back to the hotel to let our Jungkook rest,” Carter replied.

The others agreed before standing up from the soft couch. Jungkook is already heading straight to their dressing room when Tara spoke.

“By the way, you had very special guests tonight. It made tonight’s tag trend worldwide on Twitter.”

Being trending is not new with the group. Ever since they started the tour a month ago, they have been on various social media trend lists every other day. They also had bid celebrities and personalities as part of the audience before.

“Who? The king?” Mingyu joked, making the others chuckle.

Tara clicked her tongue, “Eh, close. It’s his daughters, the royal princesses.”

The boys stopped in their tracks. Even Jungkook froze. He did not even notice his members simultaneously turning their heads in his direction. As if they were waiting for him to say something. Instead, it was Tara who spoke again.

“Maybe we can meet them.”

All while the concert was happening, a fan who was also present in the event posted a stolen picture of you and Astrid. It led to your name and Astrid’s trending. Fans were excited to see royalties in such an event.

@/rockjeykey: no one told me princess astrid is a fan

@/denimparty: SOMEONE TELL JUNGKOOK ABOUT THIS

@/CRAYONNO7: YOOOOO i was just a few seats next to them! THEY ARE SO NICE AND FUN I HAD SMALL TALKS WITH THEM PRINCESS YN SAID SHE LIKES MY BAND SHIRT

Replying to @/CRAYONNO7

- @/eunwoobass: ur so lucky!!!

@/ASTRIDLOML: i’d like to think yn is astrid’s forever chaperone in events 🤣

Replying to @/ASTRIDLOML

- @/crownprincessyn: haha going to a rock concert is not so yn 😆😆

@/multifandommyg: imagine having zafiro’s princesses as your fans

@/sweetmonthof9th: i want to see the boys' reactions 💀

@/cartermatters: lolololol mingyu would be teasing the hell out of jk 

@/ZafiroRoyaltyNews: Princesses YN and Astrid attended Sweet September’s concert after today’s royal events! 💜✨ #DenimJungleInZF [insert photos]

@/SweetSeptember_twt: Hey! Hey! Hey! Rubies are red. Sapphires are blue. You guys are a gem that is hard to find! A big 💜 to Zafiro. Thank you all for coming tonight! #DenimJungleInZF

“Thank you so much!”

Your mouth felt dry. You lost track of how many times you gulped throughout the whole performance as your eyes focused on someone. You felt like in a haze– a very hot one. 

Jungkook.

That’s his name, right? Whoever he is, he has the prettiest voice. You rarely listen to their genre of music but you managed to be entertained the whole time. But you don’t know why. When you saw him in that white shirt after he removed his leather jacket on stage, your brain stopped working for seconds. It’s probably because you didn’t expect him to have that arm sleeve tattoo. 

It’s so pretty.

He’s so pretty.

“Oh! That was so much fun! Thank you so much for going here with me.” Astrid cut off your thoughts. “I know this isn’t your type of music. So, I really appreciate you here with me.”

She jumped to hug you and you hugged her back, trying to cleanse off the thoughts in your mind. You just excuse your reaction now as a shock since this is your first rock concert. After saying goodbye to her friends, Astrid pulled you with her out of your seats. She continued talking to you about her excitement. You tried to listen but failed. You just remembered that lead singer playing with that guitar like his life depended on it. His fingers were smooth on playing that thing like he’s used to–

“Excuse me! Excuse me! Princess YN! Princess Astrid!”

Again, you snapped out of your thoughts. Both you and Astrid turned your head back when you heard your names. The lady who was next to you during the concert is now wearing her security earpiece. She was probably following you two since you walked out but you didn’t notice for obvious reason. She also looked at that someone who called for you.

That someone was also a concert staff. You read that card that she wears in her lanyard that says, MANAGER. She was almost out of breath when you stopped.

“Oh, I apologize for the informalities, Your Royal Highnesses.” she tried to speak with her hands on her knees, to catch her breath. After some seconds, she continued, “I am Tara Montez, Sweet September’s manager.”

“Nice to meet you, Ms. Montez.” you smiled, offering your hand for a shake, which she accepted. Astrid also did the same thing.

“Nice to meet you too, Princess YN and Princess Astrid. Thank you so much for being here!”  You see Tara paused. “It was totally unexpected and rare to see princesses at the band’s concerts. Uhm… We were hoping the band could meet you. They are big fans of your country. It would be an honor for them to meet you two even just for a short time.”

Astrid audibly gasped. You looked at her and her eyes say it all. You can even see the sparkles in her eyes. You can also hear your bodyguard communicating through her wireless device. You’re sure Eddie would definitely want you to walk out of the venue now but you know your sister would love the offer. It’s a one-time thing.

So before your bodyguard can interfere, you answered.

“Of course.”

Back in the green room, Jungkook and the other members now showered and changed into their casual clothes. Carter and Woosung munched on the chips they saw on the table. Mingyu was giggling as he secretly takes a clip of Jungkook walking back and forth.

“What should we do?” he asked them, trying to keep his cool. But everyone can tell, he’s failing. He just never thought he would meet any royalty– you.

Out of distraction from the chips, Carter replied, “Curtsy?”

Before the others can laugh with that, the door opened and they immediately stood up straight. Carter and Woosung wiped their hands and even sanitized them. Mingyu wiggled his eyebrows at Jungkook. The latter gave him an annoyed look.

“And this is Sweet September.” Tara, who got in first, introduced them.

Jungkook’s heart almost stopped when he sees you entering with your small smile. Every photograph posted in the news and articles didn’t give your beauty any justice as he found you more attractive now you’re in the same room as him. When you locked eyes with him, he swore his heart fluttered.

Following what Carter said, Jungkook was ready to curtsy when you spoke.

“Oh… Uhm, we don’t really do that here, Mister. That’s more of like the UK’s thing. A bow would be fine.”

Everyone in the room laughed except you, who tried to be professional. But you found it cute. Especially when you saw that tint of red forming across his cheeks.

“Oh— uhm— My apologies, my quee– princess.”

“It’s your royal highness, dumbass.” his bandmate whisper-shouted at the back.

Your sister scoffed, finding the lead vocalist’s mistake as funny. You looked at her sternly. She acted appropriately again. You looked back at the boys again, trying to break your sight away from Jungkook.

“Thank you so much for coming to our country. I’ve never seen a crowd as energetic as that.” you began the conversation to break the ice. “It’s a surprise for me to hear our people here singing almost every song in your set. I just learned they are a big fan of your group.”

“How about you, Your Royal Highness,” Jungkook asked. He doesn’t know where he’s getting all this strength to talk to you. But he just knows that this might be his first and last.

You replied with the truth, “Oh– I– this is actually my first time listening to your music. Princess Astrid right here just invited me to go here with her.”

“She’s more of a jazz fan.” Astrid shared and they nodded.

Before the conversation continues, your bodyguard spoke, “Excuse me. Madams. The Royal Staff is asking us to go out now.“

Woosung was quick to request when they heard that, “Can we take a picture with you, Royal Highnesses?”

“Of course!”

This time, Astrid replied with uncontained excitement. You stood in between the four members. Mingyu was supposed to be next to you but he pulled Jungkook to exchange places with him. Jungkook instantly smelled the sweet and flowery scent just by being next to you while you ignored that strange feeling in your stomach when you felt your arms touched.

“Okay, one… two… three!”

The band stood in line once again after that. You and Astrid shook hands with them in turns. You introduced yourselves and so they did too. Ever since you were a kid, when you began attending public royal events, you always followed the royal protocol. In every person you met, you would shake their hand while having good eye contact. Another part of the protocol is the public cannot physically touch you unless you initiated it first. So, you did.  

The boys seemed surprised but showed their respect by bowing their heads while you shook hands with each of them. You just hoped your hand was not stone cold since you felt like it was since you stood in front of their lead vocalist. But when it comes to the last person in the line, Jungkook smoothly managed to kiss the back of your hand when you offer it for a handshake.

You were taken aback by the action. Not because he did it. But because it felt something else. The kiss was feather-like. It was light and brief. But you felt something electric run through your veins the moment his lips touched your skin. Your heart shivered. Then, it suddenly beat fast and you’re scared that everyone around you can hear it. You gulped as you made eye contact with him again.

“It’s an honor to meet you, Your Royal Highness,” his deep and slightly hoarse voice said. It made you feel things you don’t know and you hate and like it at the same time. “I’ve read a lot about you.”

You pursed your lips, “You did?”

“Yeah.”

You wanted to ask and know more about what he reads about you. But before you can say anything again, 

“The Royal Courtier is waiting, ma’am.” the guard interrupted.

You tried not to show annoyance. But sighed.

“Well, we shall go. Our staff is waiting outside.” you smiled. “I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay here in our country. Congratulations on your concert.”

They bowed and you turned around with Astrid, ready to leave the room.

“Wait!” Mingyu stopped you one more time. “Is there any way we can reach out to you and invite you girls again to our future events? E-mail? Phone number? Telephone number?”

Your sister was over the moon hearing that while you tried to hide the smirk forming on your lips. Jungkook knows what his friend is doing and he is somewhat thankful for Mingyu.

“The only way to contact us is through Zafiro’s Royal Communication Office. I believe their e-mail and telephone numbers are on their websites.” you sounded like you were teasing. But you just honestly found their attempt funny. “Other than that, feel free to send us a letter through the mail.”

Of course, you would not give your personal number. Jungkook thought. Do you even have that? You probably have your own assistant who answered calls for you. It is known to almost everyone that even though every royalty in Zafiro has their own social media accounts, you just use them to share your duties and advocacies.

“Again, it was nice meeting your band. We hope you come back to our country soon.”

You left the room, sharing knowing glances with your sister.

While on their way back to their hotel, Jungkook scrolls on his Instagram account. His notifications were on blast as usual. But something caught his attention when he almost exit the app.

97.sapphire is now following you!

His eyes squinted. He clicked on the account. It only has twelve followers and two posts. It follows nothing. The account’s two posts are photos of artworks. One is a watercolor painting of a flower field during sunset. While the other is a detailed pencil drawing of what seemed like a coffee shop. Then, another notification popped out.

97.sapphire sent you a message.

Jungkook raised an eyebrow before he clicked on it. Without really expecting anything, he reads the message. As he go through the words, his eyebrow lowered while his lips formed into a smile.

let me know what do u want to read more about this pair! :) thank you so much for reading.

taglist rules

THE PRINCESS AND THE ROCKSTAR TAGLIST

@heartjiminie @rbrm094 @rjsmochii @jjkreblog @sugaslittlekookies @saintsugar @thvlover7 @alpha-mommy69 @natalia-rmnva @coralmusicblaze @stupendouscookiehumanmug @namgoogieee @yoonjinhusbands @borahaeb1ch @lilliankoo @0rubyrose0

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd​ @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @miyukihoshi @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild1

[bropunzeling]

Tim/Brady bodyguard AU?

this is so barely adjacent to what you asked for BUT

pop star timmy stu

just think about it. young timmy, who has made a name for himself with some club bangers a la avicii (rip :( miss u) and is getting pretty popular! he's had his european tour! his songs are THE songs of frat parties across the land!

he's big enough that his label sends him on a north america tour, and maybe he is going to play a show at a music festival in st louis or something, and who does he run into the day before when he goes incognito to the first round of shows, is getting shoved around while just trying to get a beer at the beer tent but brady

brady is still captain of the ottawa senators, nhl player, etc etc, and he also -- i cannot stress this enough -- has no fucking clue who timmy is

(brady listens exclusively to mid aughts indie bangers and sappy country; he is not Hip to the Scene)

so brady just sees a very hot very german very pathetic guy and is like, well i GOTTA help this guy out and get his beer.

and then they start talking and timmy is SO cheerful and also activating the "needs taking care of" sensor in brady's brain, and meanwhile timmy clocks that brady doesn't know who he is and THATS fun because as nice as it is to be famous it's also nice to just harmlessly flirt with the very large man you've found, and one thing leads to another and they've spent the whole day together

(maybe brady protects timmy from some thrown elbows in a crowd at one of the shows. bodyguard!)

and maybe after the last show they have some inadvisable semi-public sex somewhere on the festival grounds

but they don't exchange numbers and they don't figure it's going anywhere

until the next night, when brady gets dragged by a friend to some more electronica ish shows than his usual and guess who is up on stage, looking as cheerful and handsome and game to be debauched as ever

[ristoranteivorykeys]

the thrill of tragic tales — oneshot

it's another one of your late nights with malleus draconia, when he asks you a question you thought you'd never hear from him. ft. reader and malleus draconia

╰┈➤ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: reader is referred to as they/them; mom look i'm posting again after 84 years owo; this is born out of the stress real life is putting me through, so the style is also slightly different and a bit experimental. nonetheless, i hope this might be enjoyable =w=

“I do not mean to intrude on any… intimate matters, Child of Man.” Dry leaves and fallen branches crunch and crackle under his feet, a tiny show of a power no mortal can seek. “But I am curious on one thing about you.”

His question does not stop their walking pace, but they turn their head to his pale visage and shining green eyes. “What is it?”

“Why do you set your sights on him?”

They don’t respond, except with the raise of their brows and a tiny momentary jolt of knowing who exactly he is alluding to.

“I’m… surprised that you of all people are asking me that.”

“Why so?” He doesn't hide the small smile on his face. It amuses him that even an indirect mention of him can unbalance you.

“You never struck me as the type to be curious on matters like love and crushes.”

He chuckles. “You aren’t mistaken, Child of Man. I never cared for them. After all, it was that very same infatuation that brought the Almighty Fairy of Thorns from the heavens to the ground.”

“Did Lilia ask you to ask me?”

“… Again, you are not mistaken." Briefly, he wonders how long have they known him to recognize Lilia's involvement in his life. "Lilia brought me here to learn more about the human world in preparation for my future ruling.

“But I also ask out of my own curiosity," he adds. "You are not expecting an arranged marriage, so I assume you have the option to choose who you want to spend the rest of your years with. You have many choices within the school, friends that you laugh with. But that boy. He is…” He hums, looking for kinder words to continue his sentence.

“I understand,” they answer with mirth. An understanding smile blooms on their face, colored with a faint note of sadness. “I know that I haven’t quite spent much time with him, and the few stories you know seem so superficial. Truthfully, I don’t understand why either. It frustrates me, and sometimes, I wish to find a way to end it. But I see his gait and his grin, and I feel it again.”

“Human emotions... how contradictory."

“I sadly can’t disagree.”

“... Is that all?”

“Not at all." They shake their head. "There’s a lot I can say, but after pondering about it, I think it all boils down to one thing.”

He doesn’t speak. The floor is completely hers.

“You are a string player. You should know Brahms, yes?”

“Of course.”

“Have you heard of the story of him and Agathe von Siebold?”

He blinks. “That, I never have.”

“Agathe von Siebold was Brahms' lover. He had proposed marriage to her, but one of his concertos had an unsuccessful premiere. It worried him that he would not be able to provide for her, so he called off the wedding.”

“I... see.” He nods slowly. He knows what they say is sad, but he does not know how to react.

“Mhm. Then years after, he heard that Agathe moved away to another country. At that time, he was working on a composition. That experience molded that composition into what it is now. Have you heard of String Sextet No. 2 in G major?”

“A familiar title, yes.” But he cannot remember the melody—there are many compositions with a similar title, and it must have been ages since his last listen.

“At a certain part—bars 162 to 168 if I recall correctly—there is a climax where the notes spell out Agathe’s name as A-G-A-H-E. H was the name for the B key in his local nomenclature.”

“Ah, how creative,” he smiles. "H is rather rare to hear of, and for him to use it to form a word in his song speaks of his genius."

"I agree. It's honestly touching to find a way to write someone's name to your song."

"But why do you tell me this story, Child of Man," he asks.

"So I bring up this story because it is one favorite love story of mine. Something about it tugs at my heart the way that most stories don't. I always wondered why. Maybe it could have been because I never understood it. I never had to go through that sort of experience. Or maybe at the time, I never understood love of that magnitude."

They place a hand on their chest. "But I understand now. It’s the fact that he did not have her. He wanted her. But life couldn’t let him have her."

They face him. Their eyes sparkle of a spirit that had been hurting inside. A fiery frustration, an ice cold sadness, a whirlwind of bitterness. For the first time, he understands why eyes are the windows to the soul. They're young, yet their gaze holds an intensity of a hundred years' worth of hurt.

“You don't understand how many things in this life I wanted but cannot have for myself." A shake of their head accompanies their words. "This love that I have right now, this silly little love," their hand clenches into a fist as they turn away from him, "irritates me for that reason. I can’t have him, I don’t think I can. Yet why do I want to grasp for one more thing that I can’t have?"

They pause. They put their hand down.

"Child of Man," he speaks up. "Why don't you just leave him behind? It sounds as if he tortures you."

They let out a chuckle. It's breathy, it's hard to tell if they were amused or annoyed. “Because see, there is so much more to it. You know Oedipus?"

"Of course I do." The question almost offends him, but he lets it slide. They're a dear friend, after all.

They nod. "Oedipus, the man fated to kill his father and marry his mother. There was something he wanted, what was it?"

"To deny that the prophecy foretold about him came to light. His mother and father also took measures to ensure that the prophecy does not come to light."

"Exactly. And he failed."

They stop. The door to their dorm stands in front of them. It surprises him for a moment. He didn't realize how invested he is in the conversation until now.

"I've come to realize that at their core, tragedies are what they are because it's a story of someone who wants to go against family, community, or divinity, but does not succeed. He can be stopped, but he'd refuse to let what they say rule over him. And you know? There’s something oddly thrilling about that."

He raises both brows. "Really now?"

"Knowing that you’re fighting a losing battle, yet willing to fight in hopes that you can grasp a slim victory. Maybe astrology class will tell me to give up, but why should I? Maybe I am not meant to be with him. Maybe I'm destined for something else. But who is to stop me from seeing how far I can truly go?"

He says nothing.

“Maybe liking him hurts me. Maybe pursuing him is torture. But..." They look at him directly once more. There is something else in their eyes now. The frustration, the sadness, the bitterness remain, but there's a new light. A glint of determination.

"I don’t care what destiny has planned for me. I want to see how much I can fight it until the curtain call. I want to fight against an ending that seems set in stone.”

They blink. Suddenly, the sparkle from their eyes disappear. Away from their emotions, awake to their reality. "Ah! Sorry, tsunotarou. I rambled too much. I hope you weren't bothered by my answer."

“Worry not,” he answers. “Your answer was not bothersome at all. In fact," he smiles, the widest he's smiled tonight, "I find you rather intriguing now.”

[sleepless-crows]

went down a rabbit hole thinking of zoya and nikolai's favorite taylor albums so here is what i think are the crows' favorite taylor swift albums

KAZ - MIDNIGHTS

honestly if kaz would listen to music, or listen to taylor, he would feel a lot less bitter about life and his life would be less gloomy. that being said, i had trouble thinking of what album he would enjoy. i don't think it's reputation, i don't think he would vibe with that. i however do think he would listen to another album that felt more deeper into the night and more chill because he would definitely just listen to it in his office in the middle of the night. i think he would like midnights if he tried it

INEJ - RED

i think inej would love a lot of taylor's albums. i just think that she's the nostalgic sort of person and red is one of the earlier albums, perfect to reminisce. and also red deals a lot with losing your innocence but also having your friends there beside you which i think she would really value in a song. but she's also the type to have more than one favorite album so i'm picking it for her

JESPER - 1989

i just cannot imagine him loving another more than this. we all say it and its just true. he would strut ketterdam to style. i'm pretty sure more than once in his life has he listened to taylor when she wrote how you get the girl. he would vibe with this album so much

WYLAN - DEBUT

i don't know if he likes country but he would like debut. he would listen to picture to burn and more than burn more than pictures. a place in this world? was a comfort song. the outside? he has cried to that too many a time. just, debut

NINA - REPUTATION

giving corpse witch much? giving call me death if you like much? but she'd also love call it what you want and dancing with our hands tied and those songs. she is overwhelming. and her music taste also slaps. she doesn't just listen to rep but oh does it bring her mood up and does she listen to it often

MATTHIAS - FOLKLORE

its the least colorful album. cal said matthias would listen to exile. i agree.

[sarcasmrights]

A Man, A Girl, A Dragon, A Home

[ao3]

Hello!

Long time no write! First fic I've published in four years. This is entirely dedicated to Voira/Voi for their gorgeous animatic featuring Hanzo and Hana. I highly suggest watching it either pre/post reading to really get the feeling.

Thanks for reading!

🌣☾🌣☾🌣☾🌣☾🌣☾🌣☾🌣☾🌣☾

Hanzo finds Hana in the greenhouse long before dawn, when the world is bathed in a pale somber blue and is only just coming out of the secrecy of pure night. He, like many other agents, has nights where sleep escapes him completely, even in the comfort of another. Cole has been understanding when Hanzo untangles his octopus-like grip at odd hours of the night, offering a bothered grunt but rolling over without resistance. Tonight, he even returned to snoring before Hanzo left their shared room, a feat given how difficult Cole has complained it is for him to return to sleep after being woken up.

The greenhouse had been a later addition after the Petras Act had been repealed and Overwatch activity reinstated. With additional funds, Winston had taken it upon himself to create a greenery space for agents to return to should the Gibraltar winter be particularly harsh and force plants to wither. Hanzo had been on the committee that brought it together, personally selecting some plants and seeking those who also had green thumbs. It had been a surprisingly smooth affair, and the committee continues to meet every handful of months to discuss what supplies had to be repurchased.

It became Hanzo’s safe haven in these silent hours, when the only thing breaking the eerie quiet is the muted sounds of his footsteps. When Hanzo first sees a bundled silhouette, he approaches warily but approaches nonetheless. Hana’s form takes on more color as he draws closer, and by the time he stops (in a respectful distance), he can see the dark uneven purple under her eyes and puffy redness in them. No one has seen her for the past week, news of a particularly bad Gwishin attack in South Korea drawing her from the base, and she had returned under the guise of night only a few days ago.

Hanzo takes her in once more, paying closer attention this time, and sees an echo of himself in the large ill-fitting t-shirt she wears and the untamable exhaustion bearing down on her small frame. He is looking at a true Hana Song, a far-cry from the pop-star persona she puts on. In many ways, Hanzo realizes, he is looking at a younger version of him. While Hana does not have a clan behind her, she does have an entire country looking to her for strength, comfort, and reassurance. The weight of the world on such tiny shoulders… Hanzo’s chest aches in a bittersweetly familiar way.

Hana’s sniffle draws Hanzo back from his thoughts and he takes in a deep breath from his nose, walking closer to sit an arm’s length away from her. If Hana has not waved him away or drawn back herself, it would appear she wouldn’t mind the company, and Hanzo knows he would have appreciated a wiser someone to have sat with him in these hours.

Silence blankets over them again, and Hanzo knows he cannot be the one to approach Hana in these times. He believes in her inner strength, silently encouraging her with his mind as he gazes upon the Gibraltar horizon. The sea’s waves lazily tumble over each other, and Hanzo recollects someone briefly mentioning a gloomy weather prediction for today. Perfect weather for staying indoors today and train. He and Cole have been chasing each other’s sharpshooter best. Today may be the best day of competition yet.

A soft draw of breath brings Hanzo out of his light meditation, and he sits up a bit straighter to let Hana know he’s listening, that he wants to listen.

“What is the bravest thing you’ve ever said?” she asks, turning her head to look at him. Hanzo meets her eyes, gaze immediately softening at the sight of her. There’s a distinct lack of life on her face, a look Hanzo recognizes as survival over enjoyment. Hana must not have been sleeping for the past few days, or doing much for that matter. Her presence has been sorely missed by everyone, no jovial chirp as she bounces down the halls with Lucio nor late night screeches as she streams for her faraway fans. In terms of Hana, silence weighs much more heavily than words.

“Well…” Hanzo manages out, voice scratchy and deep with lack of use. He returns to look at the horizon again in search of the answer. A dozen memories come to him, vying for such a prestigious title. The first that comes clearly is his first rebellion against the Shimada elders, where Hanzo called for the end of the clan and vowed to seek retribution once they exiled him. Brave, yes, but not the bravest.

Seeking Genji after their confrontation in Hanamura Castle surfaces as well, when he packed what little belongings he had and came to Gibraltar. Hanzo had found Genji during his dawn meditation with Zenyatta and asked for a brief private moment. There, on a cliffside and with the sun as his second witness, Hanzo fell to his knees and performed the deepest and, in his eyes now, the only meaningful dogeza of his life. As his forehead brushed the cool stone, he heard Genji gasp and pause in his movements to beg Hanzo up. In one breath, Hanzo professed his final apology to his brother and made a vow to choose to live, instead of offering his life so willingly in a poor form of reparation. A stark reversal from the man he was in the Hanamura confrontation. The memory brings a warm pride to Hanzo’s chest, a feeling he is working to become familiar with. It draws a small smile to his face, and yes, it was brave, but still not the bravest.

A memory bubbles up to voice a delicate nomination, a time before he promised Genji to live. Hanzo faintly recalls a post-celebration late night, commending agents for a particularly grueling mission, one where the members left behind in Gibraltar cursed at feeling so helpless and those on the field made peace with conflict being the last sight for this life. By a string of miracles, Hanzo returned home, bleeding onto the emergency transport and Lucio raising his voice into a frightened scream for Angela. Nearly a life for a life, where Hanzo’s feet leapt him between a bullet and the young medic, dragons bursting from his arrow just as the opposing shot sank into the soft flesh of his stomach. As Hanzo fought for consciousness in the transport out, Lucio’s audiotech turned to dangerously experimental levels in hopes to give Hanzo a chance to live, his entire life flashed before his eyes and Hanzo realized something. He had not yet had a life to live. His life had been in the hands of others for its entirety. His clan, the elders, his father… Then Genji, as penance. Never his own.

Oh, he will never forget seeing Cole when he woke after surgery. The sound of struggle, protest, and defiance echoed behind his door loud enough to rouse him from medically induced slumber. His eyes had barely cracked open for more than a moment before his cowboy came barreling through the door. They had only recently acknowledged the possibility of meaning more to each other, gone maybe on a handful of “dates” before Hanzo had been called away on a mission. His last thought upon leaving Gibraltar had been how unworthy he was to be so fully loved by an honest, kind man. The last thought he had before he felt his eyes roll back and darkness take him was if he lives through this, if he opens his eyes again, he will learn to love Cole despite what he feels for himself, because that was what Cole deserved.

After rounds of drinks and Lucio’s exaggerated retellings of Hanzo’s bravery, Hanzo found himself crawling into Cole’s bed yet again to find his warmth and, after drawing a shaky breath, asked.

“Help,” Hanzo finally replies, returning to the greenhouse. He looks at Hana’s tiny frame over his shoulder, a softness coming over his features. Her eyes widen impossibly so, reminding Hanzo she still has yet to enter her twenties.

“Asking for help is not giving up. It is refusing to give up,” he expands, unable to keep a swell of emotion from blooming in his chest at how true his words ring. All his life, he has faced dragons, disappointment, war, and loneliness. At times, Hanzo feels his soul is older than his body can carry, impossibly heavy in ways that test the limits of human spirit, and there have been times he has stumbled, fallen from a bone-deep exhaustion. Surrender was not an option, though it had tempted him deeply. Instead, Hanzo found new purpose and resolve in those around him. Freed both Genji and himself from their past with his declaration, found love in a man who threw his entire being into making sure Hanzo felt loved. And, perhaps the greatest act of growth, Hanzo feels he deserves to feel this way: loved in every fulfilling way.

Hana continues to look at him, eyes becoming glassy before she chokes out a sob and hides her face between her knees, shoulders shaking as Hanzo feels her impossible weight fall off her shoulders. Hana sobs, and sobs, and fills the entire greenhouse with the release of her sorrow, weariness, and pressure. Because he has found a new strength in himself, Hanzo sits with her and, after a moment, reaches out and rests a calm hand on her kneecap.

It's as if Hana has been waiting for permission, as she explodes with movement as soon as he touches her. Delicate arms are flung around Hanzo’s shoulders, and she nearly falls off the small bench they share, continuing to unleash. Hanzo gently rests his hand on her back now, the other going to her hair and petting in the way his mother had a long time ago.

Once the sobs fade into something softer, Hana draws away to rest into a casual seiza, stubbornly wiping the wetness from her face. She looks at Hanzo and he hopes his expression is as encouraging as he feels.

She takes in a shaky breath.

“Help.”

🌣☾🌣☾🌣☾🌣☾🌣☾🌣☾🌣☾🌣☾

Cole wanders into the mess hall, having woken up earlier than he’s used to. The bed had been a little cold without Hanzo in it this time, but he has a hazy recollection of Hanzo leaving him to probably head to that greenhouse of his. It’s been his happy place when he can’t sleep, so Cole decides to head over there after fixing them up some breakfast.

To his surprise though, Hanzo is already sitting across from Hana. The picture is quite heartwarming, with Hana eagerly eating a hot bowl of rice porridge and pecking at a mighty fine spread of side dishes, and Hanzo sipping on a steaming cup of tea and working through a bowl of his own.

“Good mornin’ y’all,” Cole greets, sliding into the seat by Hanzo. He first presses a kiss against his darling’s cheek, enjoying the pleased hum he gets as thanks.

“Greetings. There is still enough for a bowl on the counter, if you are hungry,” Hanzo mentions and Cole eagerly gets out of his seat again, padding over to help himself to leftovers. Silently, he listens to Hana continue to eat, chopsticks against porcelain a rather pretty sound for him. Maybe it’s just ‘cause it reminds him of Hanzo finally taking care of himself and eating right.

“What’re you two doin’ up? Ain’t nothin’ good if it’s with you, squirt,” Cole teases when he sits. Hana’s wince immediately draws concern and Cole looks to Hanzo to check for a faux pas. Instead, Hanzo only offers a chuckle and nods to Hana, who shyly peeks up at Cole from her bowl.

“…Help.”

[saveourskinship]

Thankathankathank youuuuu @akorah for the tag 🥰

Three Ships:

Dramione. Because kissing someone furiously while grumpily saying "You. It's you. It's always you but... Why does it have to be you" is my jam, bread, butter, marmalade and vegemite [marmite if you're heathen ie smutty]

Zutara. Because they make each other better. They move each other forward. Because fire. Because water. Because lightning. Because ice. Because scars. Because healing. Because because because.

Skam and Beadie. This is cheating because they are original characters I am writing. They are not even a couple but God help me am I the hell leaving space to write my own fanfiction about them. Maybe an HEA where they don't all die at the end. *shrugs*

First Ship:

In anything: Barbie and Action Man. Before I was even in school my sister and I would steal our brother's Action Man as Barbie's partner. Ken's job was Beach. Our Barbie needed a man with a plan.

In media: Sora/Kairi from Kingdom Hearts. I used to devour fanfic about them. Shout out to the one which sticks in my brain and introduced me to My Chemical Romance when Kairi got married to Squall because of something to do with Mickey being an little shitprick which I think was because of some soul signature nonsense? I can't remember and anyway Demolition Lovers was their wedding song and the bane of my mother's existence - Save's Emo Phase was born.

Last Song:

Girls Like You - The Naked and Famous (shit, this is actually a lie, but it's the last 'proper' song I listened to since I don't count the demo I'm making for my friend's satire girlpunk band she decided to create last night as a real song yet. It just has boop-boop-boops. Night Lunch can pull off songs with only doof-doofs and boom-booms. I cannot. So the demo won't be real until Sasha does the drums at least.)

Last Movie:

What A Girl Wants. Look. It's Amanda Bynes. I love Amanda Bynes. It is also Colin Firth and blue blood upper crust English vibes (done poorly, sure, but still). The last chapter of rose-petal compliments is needing all the help I can get it right now.

Currently Reading:

Harrow the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir

Lesbian necromancers in space. Need there be another reason?

Currently Watching:

Jujitsu Kaisen Season Two (Gojo, my love. I salivate, I wither, I breathe so much ecstasy I lack oxygen and die.)

Taskmaster NZ (rewatch. Like, no shade to my country or anything [said under the world's largest umbrella] but fuck we're shit.)

Last Thing I Wrote:

Like, as in finished? Because otherwise it would be this, right?

I wrote delivery instructions for a food order earlier today. Can't have done it very well because the driver still got confused and had to call me.

In terms of Things with Titles that are Complete™️, then an original folktale called.... fuck, what did I call it? I can't remember. It's about an unnamed protagonist and a boatman though. Still waiting on my rejection emails from the magazines I've submitted it to 😂

Currently Writing:

Let's skip over the arseholiness of me saying that I'm currently writing this again, shall we? (Let's not turtles-all-the-way-down my mentioning it either.)

Okay. Here we go:-

rose-petal compliments: dramione. Quiet luxury, Hermione is wealthy. Set in the Muggle world.

sacreligious inferences of a midnight paradise: dramione. Trope soup. Marriage law/fake dating/date or die. (Plus a bunch more tropes because why not?)

The Absolute and Total Defeat of One Draco Malfoy. Multi-ship. Crack. Crack from crest to cunt.

What's Owed When. Dramione. Unexpected Pregnancy. France. Delectomancy. Draco pines so hard he's basically a forest.

foil&fall. Tansy (Teddy Lupin/Pansy Parkinson). Fluff. Epistolary.

Untitled warfic. Dramione. My attempt at All Plot, No Vibes. Yes, you read that right. I'm trying to write something with NO VIBES ALL PLOT. (Draw a pentagram and sage for me, I bloody need it.)

The Environmental Suicide Club. Original YA speculative fiction. This is the one Skam and Beadie are from. Grief. Environmentalism. Nihilism. Set one generation in the future. Everyone dies at the end. A Fun, Very Good Time! Completely unmarketable! Wheeee!

Untitled socmed. Theomione. Writing this one with @they-call-me-megs A bunch of fun and one we return to when we're struggling for inspiration elsewhere.

Aster, the Star-Sailor. Original children's series. Sci-fi, pirate adventure. Came from writing the Tansy and I fell in love with it. Thanks, Pansy.

Fate and Free Will series. Urban fantasy six-book series. Currently undertaking a massive rework of the structure.

wander/wonder. A Luna Lovegood POV story Christmas visual novel. Story is written and am hoping I can finish the video in time for December.

There are a few more but these are the ones I work on a least a little bit every week.

Tagging @they-call-me-megs @thusatlas @paandreablack

[leafsboys]

Get to know me tag!!

Thank you @annieqattheperipheral for tagging me! :) (Feel special that you thought of me🫶🏼)

Last song: Style - Taylor Swift (Speak Now TV cannot come soon enough!!!!) Have also been obsessed with Nate Smith and Erin Kinsey recently - any country rec send them my way or message me and I will gladly give them to you:)

Currently Watching: Modern Family - I started watching last August from the beginning and am slowlyyyy but surely making my way through PLUS I just finished my rewatch of Greek (If you haven't watched it, you NEED to)

Currently Reading: What We Find by Robyn Carr (I watched Sullivan's Crossing and really enjoyed it because who doesn't love some CMM) but I really want to reread The Love Hypothesis

Current Obsession(s): Sitting outside to tan and binge romance books by day and sitting outside to listen to music and talk with family and friends by night - summertime is my shit and I love a good campfire🏕️ (and candles that smell like them)

Tagging (No pressure to do it! Just wanted to let you know I love your blogs and that you make my experience on here so enjoyable xoxo): @shiptheship @thesweetestswede @zeagsmatty @hischiersdraisaitl @readyfreddy @imacanadian4 @23knies - I know you've already been tagged but another shoutout because I appreciate you🙌🏼

[signalwatch]

We Watched Eurovision 2023 (from the US. Texas, no less.)

I will be accused of only watching Eurovision 2023 because this edition was co-hosted by actor/ singer/ performer Hannah Waddingham of Ted Lasso fame.  First - how dare you.  Second - she looked amazing.

We've all heard of Eurovision, but until recently, it didn't air here in the US that I'm aware of.  In recent years we'd see twitter going bananas for it, but it was during daylight and work hours, and it was very unclear what was occurring over there.  But folks of all ages and walks of life seemed into it, so I think that piqued the curiosity of some of us.

Right at the start of COVID, I remember watching the Eurovision movie starring Will Ferrell, and it gave me *some* clue as to what was happening and how it worked, but, honestly, raised more questions than it answered.

what needs no explanation is Hannah's gown on Night 2 of the semi-finals

Then, two years ago, Jamie left me alone at home in the middle of the day - and I cannot imagine where she went, because this was *prime* COVID-hiding time.  But, left alone, I saw on twitter that Eurovision was happening, and that it was on Peacock.  I planned to tune in for fifteen minutes to check it out, but wound up sitting totally locked in for probably 3.5 hours (the finals this year ran 4:15).  Returned home, Jamie caught a bit of it, but didn't get the full deluge of sitting, trying to figure out what the hell we were looking at as act after act took the stage.

Some of you will know the winners from that year (2021), Italian rock outfit Måneskin.  They're pretty solid!

Last year we had a multi-day family event and missed the whole thing.  

But this year, nothing was going on. And, again, Waddingham was there, so I tuned in.

One of the challenges of Eurovision, much like soccer here, is that it airs on commercial-free TV.  Asking American TV to carry something they can't break up with commercials every few minutes is unheard of.  Or was until the advent of streaming platforms.  And now I get soccer and Eurovision.  And probably detective shows about like, British cookie-tasters solving polite murders in quaint small towns.

I've mentioned to a few (US) people that I was watching, and to a person, they've said, "So, what is that?  Like... American Idol?"  

That's not a dig on the people who put it that way, but it is very hard to explain the scope of Eurovision to Americans who have spent two decades bombarded by terrible singing and talent competitions that mostly rely on your knowing who the judges are and listening to bad covers of music you previously liked.

I would judge all gowns here a smashing success

Eurovision is the final round of about 37 participating countries from Europe and Australia.  It's more like the World Cup of song competitions as each of these performers has already been selected by their country in local competition.  Of course, local competion means one thing in England and another in San Marino (which has a population of 30,000+ people).  

The finals see 26 countries, and - friends - I have no real idea how this works.  Like, UK, France, Italy, Germany and Spain just show up for the finals but not the semi-finals?  

The music is pop, but it's not necessarily what Americans think of when they think of pop.  Not that, here at age 48 and with zero kids (I'm aware of) to my name, that I would know what current pop sounds like.  But I am pretty sure, based on the fact I live a part of the country where Cumbia and Tejano are gigantic going concerns, "pop" is different for different people.  So, across, 37 countries, you get some interesting stuff.  That's to say, don't necessarily expect (checks Billboard) Miley Cyrus. But get an Albanian family-band dressed in disco versions of local folk-wear and turning an anthem into a banger. 

It's also worth noting, the music swings between folks looking for radio stardom and folks putting it on the line as House or, really, Novelty acts.  I may vote for someone because they're entertaining as hell on this show, but I may not put them on my everyday playlist.  And that's fine.  We aren't making any life or death decisions here.  

what is a great decision was the wardrobe for the first part of the finale.  Great jacket, Graham.

Eurovision is a *friendly* competition that happens when you live in a place with actual history and less monoculture, and the overall competition is deeply not-American.  No one here gives a flying @#$% about the US and our pop scene.  But what they are celebrating is that they all bring their best game, everyone gets a chance, and you basically get to party in the audience for 4 hours.  

There are no judges influencing voting or destroying the souls of the contestants.  There is some weighted voting before the popular vote is counted that's a bit like the Electoral College where countries send their 12 votes in.  Oh, and, by the way - you can't vote for people from your own country.  Just imagine.  We'd burn the show down here in the US.

The performances have set pieces, light shows, screen shows, dancers.  It's big and it's... a lot.  And that's kind of the fun of the thing.  Everything is cranked up to 11, and it's pop songs, so even if one song isn't your bag, it's only going to be 3 minutes and out.  But the musicians/ artists really need their act together.  So every song is a little bit of performance art as well as delivery of a single.  

speaking of art: Hannah's final look from Eurovision 2023

Do they lip-synch?  I assume so.  There's a lot of dancing and rolling around and other things that make live singing seem unlikely.  Nor do people have instruments in hand all the time, or are bands seen.  And that's fine.  Who cares?  It's performing to a song as much as performing a song.

Whichever country wins then hosts the next year's competition, which, to be honest, does not seem like enough time to get all of this together.  But I'll assume they know what they're doing.  

However, this year's Eurovision was held in Liverpool, despite the fact the UK was runner-up in 2022.  The winner of 2022 was Ukraine, and...  Americans could do well to see how this was handled.  

Yes, the UK provided three hosts (including Waddingham and Graham Norton), but they also very much included Ukraine in the proceedings, starting with a Ukrainian rock-star host, Julia Sanina (who was really good, and realized she could also cut loose like Waddingham by show's end).  But there were also Ukrainian acts who played the voting interval and other segments, and repeated call outs to Ukraine.  

If Russia wasn't feeling isolated before, seeing dozens of European countries in complete support of Ukraine (and never mentioning Russia directly) had to have felt like a massive PR problem that no psy-ops are going to erase.  And, after the war in Ukraine has dragged on, it's a welcome reminder of the continued war and need to maintain and demonstrate support for Ukraine.

The show also both implicitly and explicitly made calls for inclusivity and equality.  And, friends, that's something I hope we can all agree on.  

I am unsure if I'll watch both semi-finals and finals next year.  It'll depend on time available.  As Sweden's Loreen won, Waddingham won't be involved next year (I assume).  But that's not a deterrent from watching.  

By the way, (a) it seems like non-Ted Lasso fans discovered Waddingham this week and are here for her, and (b) at least two guys who were announcing who their countries were voting for clumsily attempted to flirt with Waddingham.  Shoot your shot, king.

The voting is dramatic and stressful, and much more interesting than the hammy results delivery on most American reality gameshows.  The combo of scores to a total feels immediate and less...  architected.  And, I have no idea what the demographic is for the show, because Non-Threatening Boys did not do well, but hyper-real weirdos did fantastic.  

My personal favorite acts were Croatia, Austria, Moldova, Lithuania, Finland, and, yes, winner Sweden, who I had to keep my mouth shut about because Jamie was not having a previous winner coming back to win again. Also, all things being equal, the Italian guy was good but not my favorite.

Finland

Sweden

https://ift.tt/biatTk7

from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/gni4bwD

[coffeedrgn87]

I’ll Be Waiting

// If you ever wanna fall in love //

// If you ever wanna bet on us //

// If you ever wanna be my one //

// I'll be waiting //

// If you ever want one more night //

// If you ever wanna make things right //

// If you ever wanna change your mind //

// I'll be waiting //

“I’m— I’m not ready,” Draco says to him, whispers the words instead of an apology and pulls away, bringing distance between them both. He avoids looking directly at Harry, who, still out of breath from making out with Draco for the better part of an hour, simply nods. He isn’t even sure Draco sees is, but words fail him.

It’s taken them two years to get here, to get to this, and yet they’re back to square one.

“I— I can’t, Harry, I’m sorry.”

Harry doesn’t say anything. Draco takes another step back and their gazes meet. Draco’s cheeks are pink, his neck flushed, and the tips of his ears are glowing red. Whether it’s remnants of his desire or embarrassment, Harry cannot tell. Instead, he stares at Draco’s kiss-swollen lips. He can still feel them, along with the tingles that swept through him when Draco’s tongue wrapped itself around his own.

After a beat, Harry forces a smile.

“I’ll be waiting,” he murmurs. His breath vaporises as he speaks.

Draco doesn’t look at him, just turns away and leaves.

It’s not until fifteen years later that they see each other again. It’s a chance meeting too, and it throws Harry off-kilter. Up until Draco steps into his path, he’s lived a life, had boyfriends, married, had children, got divorced, quit his job, moved to the country, even took up writing. Yet, it feels exactly like it did when they first admitted their feelings for each other.

Draco looks older now, wiser, hair tied back in a messy bun at the top of his head, frameless glasses, and a cocky grin that makes Harry’s heart drop to his stomach.

“Are you still—” Draco starts to ask then trails off, looking every bit like he’s doubting that this was a good idea.

Harry offers him a grin.

“Waiting?” he finishes. “Yeah, I never stopped.”

Listen to the song here.

[userholland]

73 questions tag (2022 edition)

hi all ! so, i found this tag a few days ago and i did it back in 2020 so i thought it would be fun to bring it back (while also tagging some new people). sending love and hugs! <3

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? i think at least a 8. i'm almost done with college, it's close to my bday and im more optimistic these days.

describe yourself in a hashtag? #shesthatgirl

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? jake gyllenhaal what

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? "who's that girl? it's liz!"

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? still not a lot lmao

what’s your wake up ritual? read for fifteen minutes, get up and move my body, drink a glass of water and journal.

what’s your go to bed ritual? working out, usually stretching and i literally either go to bed at 11pm or 4am depends on the study sessions and writing that day. 

what’s your favorite time of day? midnight or dawn!

your go to for having a good laugh? kpop try not to laugh videos/variety shows

dream country to visit? london or zurich

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? knowing that i have the capability of making friends when i feel socially awkward. i know its not a single surprise but i think quarantine really made me think that i have no friends and dont know how to be a functional human.

heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers!!!

vintage or new? new.

who do you want to write your obituary? my partner <3

style icon? jeon jungkook

what are three things you cannot live without? my laptop, my phone and journal

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? butter tbh

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? princess diana, audrey hepburn and michelle yeoh. its a ladies night y'all

what’s your biggest fear in life? still trusting the wrong people

window or aisle seat? window!

what’s your current tv obsession? stranger things season 4 (y'all go watch it!)

favorite app? tiktok

secret talent? i can move my ears

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? probably traveling alone to mexico and wondering how i actually survived. i was 17 and knew nothing.

how would you define yourself in three words? sarcastic, introverted and quiet

favorite piece of clothing you own? xl t-shirts, sweats (black, grey and white)

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? white sneakers 

a superpower you would want? invisibility

what’s inspiring you in life right now? my nonfictional books

best piece of advice you’ve received? “life is like a tree. there are many branches that are like our emotions. one branch for anger, another for happiness, another for sad, it goes on. they break off, they grow, it's all about perspective."

best advice you’d give your teenage self? don't try to grow up too fast. you take all the time in the world to heal from whoever or whatever hurt you. don't dye your hair, don't curse at your parents, and don't complain about how slow life feels. just be young, enjoy the moment and love yourself for who you are and not how others want you to be.

a book everyone should read? the switch by beth o'leary

what would you like to be remembered for? goofy as fuck

how do you define beauty? beauty is in everything and everyone. i think that everyone should feel beauty rather than search for it. your identity is yours and no one else can take that away. there is no standard in beauty except yourself! 

what do you love most about your body? my freckles

best way to take a rest/decompress? listen to music

favorite place to view art? in a museum or traveling in a city

if your life was a song, what would the title be? screaming but sane

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? keyboard/piano

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? my whole left arm

dolphins or koalas? koalas

what’s your spirit animal? bunny or dolphin

best gift you’ve ever received? i dont want to say money but. money (for things i want to buy)

best gift you’ve given? i like giving people what they like or are interested in so, i dont think they're all the best but just memorable or caring.

what’s your favorite board game? sorry!

what’s your favorite color? still royal blue

least favorite color? dark orange/yellow

diamond or pearls? pearls

drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore makeup

blow-dry or air-dry? air-dry

pilates or yoga? pilates

coffee or tea? coffee or nothing

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? flabbergasted

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? NEITHER

stairs or elevators? stairs

summer or winter? summer

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? carbonara tteokbokki

a dessert you don’t like? anything almond. gross

a skill you’re working on mastering? journaling

best thing to happen to you today? i got to sleep in until 12:30

worst thing to happen to you today? i woke up tired lmao

best compliment you’ve ever received? “you look like the kind of a girl a celebrity would immediately hit on"

favorite smell? vanilla and coconut

hugs or kisses? hugs

if you made a documentary, would it be about? good food in new york

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? stranger things season 4, ep 4: dear billy. if you know, you know.

lipstick or lipgloss? lipgloss

sweet or savory? sweet

girl crush? jung hoyeon and sydney sweeney

how do you know your in love? when someone remembers the little things

a song you can listen to on repeat? born singer by bts

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? hmm. probably kim namjoon

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? graduating!!! writing!!! working on my model portfolio!!! anything coming my way!!!

tagging some moots ⇢ @venomsilk @t-lostinworlds @honeyspidey @thollandsdarling @totheblood @lauras-collection @cindymooons @veryholland @seolaseoul @lovelytholland @httphollands @ptergwen @silkscream @silkholland @starksview

[thelambliesdown1974]

MY RECORDS IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER. 2022

1. listen - a flock of seagulls

2. deep sea skiving - bananrama

3. abbey road - the beatles

4. beast the in the basement - leon berry

5. dear catastrophe waitress - belle and sebastian

6. girls in peacetime want to dance - belle and sebastian

7. the life pursuit - belle and sebastian

8. crimes of passion - pat benatar

9. precious time - pat benatar

10. the best of the great songs with a folk-country accent

11. paranoid - black sabbath

12. american utopia - david byrne

13. high n dry - def leppard

14. on through the night - def leppard

15. pyromania- def leppard

16. some great reward - depeche mode

17. a christmas together - john denver and the muppets

18. slow down world - donovan

19. another side of bob dylan - bob dylan

20. you are free - cat power

21. i cannot believe it’s true (single) - phil collins

22. lungs - florence and the machine

23. melt - peter gabriel

24. scratch - peter gabriel

25. a trick of the tail - genesis

26. duke - genesis

27. genesis - genesis

28. invisible touch - genesis

29. nursery cryme - genesis

30. the lamb lies down on broadway - genesis

31. ghostbusters 2 soundtrack

32. great ghost stories

33. two by two - danny kaye

34. the poetry and voice of gallway kinnel

35. computer world - kraftwerk

36. songs by tom lehrer

37. froot - marina and the diamonds

38. comedy is not pretty - steve martin

39. great white north - bob and doug mckenzie

40. strangebrew soundtrack

41. anarchy in the u.k. (single) - megadeth

42. killing is my business… - megadeth

43. so far so good so what - megadeth

44. chante… - yves montand

45. you, me, the music, and me - rick moranis

46. international morse code course

47. pictures at eleven - robert plant

48 the pleasure principle - gary numan

49. the odd couple sings

50. marching in time - oingo boingo

51. organ cameos

52. a day at the races - queen

53. news of the world - queen

54. jazz - queen

55. vo, vo, de, oh, doe - tony randall

56. fly by night - rush

57. love - sesame street

58. parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme - simon and garfunkel

59. sounds of silence - simon and garfunkel

60. abracadabra - the steve miller band

61. pieces of eight - styx

62. chicago, august 28, 1978 - talking heads

63. remain in light - talking heads

64. 77 - talking heads

65. creep on creepin on - timber timbre

66. hot dreams - timber timbre

67. timber timber - timber timbre

68. the music for unicef concert

69. the who by numbers - the who

70. close to the edge - yes

71. fragile - yes

72. 36 new songs for Jewish children

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary222

4/24/24

wednesday

another opening shift tomorrow.

and i also get paid!! i also got a check today cuz i forgot it lol. i also just used it all . lol!! but i'm okay with that because i need an external hard drive, i should also stock up on skincare and clothes while i can also. things to assuage whatever... idk, desires and anxieties, to last long enough.

i will probably finish discipline and punish before work tomorrow, and i brought agua viva to work today, just to get into that book. should be a quicker read, i basically only got to where i was at when i started it last, but restarting is good, i will say, i think bringing a pen to work to take notes in the book, this used to be my ideal way to read things, taking notes in the book, but maybe not anymore? it feels like it gets in the way. so i will drink the book as i read it and not take notes for now, until i read something that seems to beg of it. i tend to underline too much anyways because i love every line i guess.

another thing on my mind, is the real frustration with seeing protestors at various college campuses, the people occupying buildings, setting up tents, trying to do something (anyone can say oh it is useless or whatever, but we do not know this for certain until it all comes out at the end, even if it demonstrates possibility, can we say that it is useless? that is a beautiful thing to illustrate for us all) as anti-semites. it is a total fabrication and distortion of the goals of these movements as far as i can gather, they are simply agglutinations of a desire not for 'justice' but the fact of an end to genocidal empire, imperial meddling, and so on. this is an important desire, the fact this is put forth in the media as anti-semitic terrorism on the rise, is psychotic and stoking the fact that we have seen so many actual fascist turns in this country as a way to increase panic towards anything radical and 'abnormal,' and even 'unnatural' as the unnatural is what prevents the continuous flow of regular life. demonstration of that as non-continuous, something you might step outside, the law, pigs, work, school, discipline and the facts of hierarchy, even in miniature, even if for seconds, even if these communes (in miniature) fail into these kinds of terrible organizations once again, there was something there where it did not confirm these facts. the world is praying on failure. i hope they remain strong in organization, that they are not treating one another poorly, that they are sharing. that they resist their being painted as terrorists (not that they don't destroy anything really who gives a fuck about property, i mean resist the guilting at work, this super-parental-punishing complex these apparatuses of the state would like to mobilize against the students and faculty).

it makes me sad that there is nothing near me. perhaps there is, and maybe i can only talkabout wanting it? it on some level, makes me feel like a failure. i hope i am not. there is something soon and i'll try to go but it seems...idk. it's 'a night of resistance' where they are serving 'free middle-eastern food' which isn't bad but it's got the air of a meet and greet rather than, idk, anything else. but maybe this city and campus is so distant a meet and greet could accomplish more than i imagine. i will be there to try and listen i suppose.

that is all i can do, it feels like.

(shell out money also but it's rude to talk about such things seeking eyes upon the act (is this a bourgeois moralism lodged inside my heart? i cannot tell. it feels true to me, no matter what. (and i wonder, under all this quibbling, i am supposing my saudi friend would say something about how i talk about this, the same way many crackers do i guess. it's a pathetic way to wish the world were better maybe.)))

anyway, i worked on the last song in that list, so i am back to the 3 songs that need vox and that's it. hope i get on that soon.

i hope i have the day off of work for the strange palestine thing. there will be poetry there, i hope it is good poetry. i am worried it will not be.

i worry a lot of things will be bad, i guess. maybe that's obvious. it gets in the way of living often. the fear is an engine too though, it propels me, maybe misshapen to the idea of life lived right, without fear, maybe i am wrong, but i hold onto the pulsions of my will(s), whatever they are, they take me to something, at least.

passion/(dis)passion, they seem almost equal voices perhaps.

anyhow i really must be getting to sleep now. last night was so sleepless, it seemed like maybe only an hour, and then at work, a profound waste of time came upon me when i was told i had to, along side my coworker, lift extremely heavy boxes of tiles because the owner came and said 'i don't like this. it makes no sense'. terrible stuff to happen to a (thing, androgyne, girl/boy,) like me, who needs sleep and to not be sore.

but i liked what i ate today, so that is nice.

anyway,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cbenvs3000w24]

Nature Interpretation through Music

Nature in Music and Music in Nature.

No matter how you think of it, one cannot exist without the other. They complement each other completely.

In nature you have the beautiful harmonics of life, such as the lively chirps of birds in the morning, or the crashing of waves. Nature’s acoustic melodies can be seen throughout composed music as well. Some of my earliest experience with music came from analyzing “The Four Seasons” composed by Antonio Vivaldi. His brilliant work was inspired by the playfulness of spring, the warm intensities of summer, the lively abundance of autumn, and the dark harshness of winter. This musical interpretation allows the listener to feel the unique vibrations of each season. Another great example of nature featured in created music is the use of its harmonics in the background of songs. One example of this is “Come back as a country boy” by Blake Shelton. This song starts with the sound of wind, crickets, and wolves howling in the background transporting the listener to a fireside environment, or at least that’s how I interpreted this intro. It is truly amazing how listening to a song can take you to an entirely different atmosphere.

It is hard to think of just one song to include that takes me back to a natural landscape so hears a few. The first that immediately came to my head was “Starting Over” by Chris Stapleton. This song played on every radio when I moved to Vancouver Island for the Summer of 2022. One of my favourite things about living here for that time was how emersed in nature you were any moment you left your home. I drove 50 minutes to work every day… but how could I complain? I had the ocean to my left and rolling hills of forests to my right for the entire drive. I remember seeing Black Bears, Elk, and Bald Eagles on my drive too! Highway 1 is one of the most beautiful highways I have ever seen, nothing here even compares. So now anytime I hear this song I am instantly brought back to that car starring out at the natural landscape surrounding my drive. Another song that transports me back to the natural landscape is “When the night feels my song” by Beddouin Soundclash. This used to be one of my mother’s favourite songs when I was younger. When I was ages 5-12, my family owned a mobile home on a campground where I spent most of my summers. Here I spent every day hiking through the forest trails looking for snakes and salamanders, or at the pond catching frogs and turtles. Any time I hear this song (which is often as I have it in my favourites) I am brought back to the joys being a kid and getting to spend every day in nature.

It is truly beautiful how transformative nature interpretation through various mediums can be. I am excited to read through all your experiences with nature and music.

[andswarwrites]

I'm not sure how I'm going to write today, when I'm listening to a combination of show tunes and vintage country I compiled this morning.  I've shed a few tears.  It's just the right kind of day for this: it's cloudy, gloomy, rainy, cool and damp.  With music I am lighting a comforting flame to warm my hands and heart, to prop my feet up and immerse myself in the glow of nostalgia.  I'm not always singing along out loud, though at times the words burst forth from my mouth.  I'm singing along on the inside, lyrics I have known for decades, they fill my head, they move me in a way I have difficulty expressing.  Like embracing a beloved friend you haven’t seen in too long, and knowing exactly what they are going to say.

I worked on one of my projects yesterday afternoon.  I've got a science fiction novel just budding, I've got a completed dystopian novel to edit, which I am doing with my mom, and I have this sort of memoir jumble to compile.  To do that, I have to sift through all of my writing from 2022.  A lot of it is a detailed description of daily living, but every once in a while I come across a brief description of what life was like for me last year.  It's encouraging, because I'm doing so much better than that, even though it feels as though I am not living up to my own standards right now.  For example, this time last year, I had to drag myself out of bed every morning.  Now I get up between 7:00 and 8:00 AM most weekdays.

I actually usually wake up around 6:30 AM, not due to an alarm, but naturally.  Gone are the nights where I got sleepy and even dizzy shortly after taking my medication.  Gone are the mornings of not being able to get out of bed, because of being in a half-asleep daze.  I wake up, and I check the time.  If I have time, I roll over and close my eyes for a nap until the alarm sounds.  When it does, I either hop out of bed, or I lie listening to the whole song, then get up.  At times, I return to bed after my morning routine is completed, and get up just before it's time for school to start.  And that's another difference: we are so structured now, we even have a school bell on my phone.

Last year had quite the learning curve for me.  I had to learn what is involved in teaching a twelve year old girl a High School curriculum.  My daughter is highly creative and intelligent, but she struggles with her ability to focus and she has bad days every once in a while, where no matter if you threaten or cajole, it's got nothing to do with her work ethic or willingness: she simply cannot accomplish even the simplest task on her own.  She needs support always, but on one of her bad days, she basically needs to be led by the hand like a small child.  I've learned to identify when she is having an exceptionally hard time, and make allowances.  And there's a reason I do this.

I have bad days too.  Sometimes a bad day can turn into a bad week.  At least N-'s don't do that.  If I want to be treated with kindness and understanding when I'm struggling, shouldn't I also treat my precious girl with consideration?  I know the difference between being too easy on yourself, and genuinely not being able to function.  The end of the year is especially challenging, for both teacher and student.  We start strong in the fall, we make it through the winter months, and then in the spring, we basically fall to our knees and crawl across the finish line.  It takes a lot of tenacity, and it requires reasonableness, discipline, flexibility and insight. 

My therapist pointed out what an interesting family the three of us make with our personalities, our unique perspectives.  Essentially each one of us is neurodivergent in our own distinct way.  In some ways mother and daughter understand one another, in other ways father and daughter understand one another, in other ways mother and father are on the same page, and speak the same language.  And yet where we differ, we widen one another's horizons, we teach each other to adapt to and even celebrate each other.  When I remember how rigid my husband used to be, and how he has softened and adjusted, I am astounded at how much a person can evolve.

I don't like to say a person changes.  We don't.  We remain fundamentally who we are.  We can change habits.  We can break free of thought processes and superstitions that hold us captive.  In that way we can change, but in my personal experience, when I tried to deny who I am, because I thought there was something terribly wrong with me, that led me to inner conflict and deep unhappiness.  We have to accept ourselves, and more than that, we have to love that person.  I'll never forget how, in my twenties, I sat with S- and actually said, and meant, that I loved myself, and I burst into tears, because the familiar hatred I had lived with had disappeared.

I don't hate people, but I hated me.  It seemed like the right thing to do.  It's not.  With balanced self love, so much more healing took place, so gradually I can't even describe it.  I can't take all of the credit: I received a lot of solid advice from various sources.  And the love of the man who has been enveloping me and cherishing me with care and warmth since the summer of 2006 was a key factor.  I've always had his admiration and respect, ever since we met, but his love bewildered me at first, because I didn't know what I had done to deserve it, and I lived in terror of its loss.  Then N- came along in 2010, and when she was a baby, S- held her and fed her and changed her, bathed her and cherished her.

When N- got to the age where she started to express herself, assert herself, and take up space as is her right, I saw a side of my husband I had never seen before: he seemed to want her to be one of those children who are "seen and not heard," which was intolerable to me.  You see, N- did not have the "terrible twos".  She has a communication disorder that did not allow her to have a voice when other children obtain theirs.  So she wrote me a note, misspelled but clear: "Help.  I can't speak."  I told her I wanted to help her to speak, and she told me I needed to shoot her with the "speak ray."  I asked her where it was and she said it was in her room.  We went there and I "shot" her, and somehow she spoke normally after that.

S- needed to adjust to this “new” N-, chattering happily in the back seat of the car, making noise in the apartment, striking up conversations and, finally, asking questions.  I was so relieved, I embraced this development easily, but my husband didn't know what to do.  He'd rebuke her, which would lead me to defend her.  It's been gradual, but over time, S- has learned how to communicate with his daughter, and the closer their relationship, the closer I feel to him as well.  It was the roughest patch he and I have ever encountered, and if he had not adapted, I am certain we would have ended.  When I look at my family as it is, even with the looming challenge of raising a teenager, I am grateful for every day, good or bad, because it's a day I get with my family.  My amazing, quirky family.

[irelandsojourn]

2 days - 1 post

I'm combining 2 days activities into 1 post because I'm really not doing that many AMAZING things. Yesterday I went down memory lane by driving down along the coast to Fanore. I rented the most lovely cottage there in April 2018. I have lovely memories there. Because it was a bank holiday weekend, there were plenty of people enjoying the long weekend with reasonably balmy weather.

The drive from Ballyvaughan along the Wild Atlantic Way is just breathtaking with Galway Bay on your right giving way to the Atlanta at Black Head. The Burren mountains rise up along the road to the left. Below you see the Aran Islands in the distance.

Fanore Beach, is an unlikely sandy beach on the Atlantic. Many families were swimming (water temp 50 degrees, air temp 55 degrees), playing in the sand and walking their dogs.

A short drive up the Caher Valley alongside the Caher River (only above ground river in the Burren) I parked my car alongside the road and took the trail up. This video cannot do justice to the view, the peace, the spiritual calmness that I feel in this place. This website won't let me upload videos, but if you check out my story on Instagram I posted an amazing video of this spot.

When I was last here, I didn't venture far from where we were, but I have been quite the rambling Gram this time around. I took a road not knowing where it would end up and had a delightful circuitous journey home because of it. Lovely farmsteads along the way. The one good thing about this area in Ireland, most small country lanes end up at a main road eventually!!!

I returned home in time to join a Poetry Walk along the Flaggy Shore led by Brid from the Linalla Ice Cream Shop and Cafe. She led 6 of us on a lovely walk along the Flaggy Shore on the most gorgeous evening! Sun setting in the west as we ambled along hearing her read Yates, Shaw, Heaney and other poets who came to this shore and wrote about its beauty. By the time we had finished we had all bonded so well, we met up for dinner at Lindane's across the road. With the Irish music playing in the background during dinner, I felt as though i was now a local.

A new piece of history I learned last night was that this house, Mt. Vernon, home to Lady Gregory who hosted many of these poets and was instrumental in the Irish Literary Revival, used Mt. Vernon as her summer home. It was built in the late 18th Century and was named Mt. Vernon because the architect was the same as the one who built the White House, although i could not find that as fact. The story goes that the tall trees to the left of the house were supposedly a gift from George Washington. Maybe I shall do some historical digging when I get home at Mt. Vernon Historical Society.

Brid took this picture with her husband with the ladies. He didn't go along on the tour, but did get us off to a lovely start by singing a song about the Galway Hookers. This traditional sailboat measured between 35-40 feet and were particularly well suited for the rough Irish seas. These boats were used to carry turf to be used as fuel across Galway Bay from Connemara and County Mayo to the Aran Islands and the Burren. The boats often brought limestone on the return journeys, to neutralise the acid soils of Connemara and Mayo.

This morning the sun was out in full splendor. I enjoyed my coffee outside listening to the village begin waking up. Today was so lovely I wanted to do a walk so I drove to Carran, about 30 minutes away. It's a small village that has a walk called Templecronan Loop. It was part roadway, part walking path, and part field walking. Just over 3 miles I sauntered along enjoying the day, listening to the birds, speaking with the cows, horses, and a friendly dog I met along the way. Wildflowers are blooming everywhere - wild orchids, HUGE dandelions, wild daisies, gentian.

I came upon another abandoned church, Temple Cronin (12thC), which was part of a monastic community. It also had a holy well nearby. No matter where you go, there are ruins everywhere of old homes left during famine times, abandoned monastic communities and churches from times of persecution. They are all protected historical sites, but not maintained by anyone.

I'm getting very acclimated wandering around these country roads that I'm beginning to know where I am and how to get home. Irish roads are well marked. Those with an M or R in front of them are pretty much 2 lane roads, but I've been traveling on the L roads that are no more than a one lane road quite similar to Cumberstone Road to Gram's Camp. You can't drive fast and have to pull over when a car comes from the opposite direction.