#i cannot stop laughing. holy fucking shit

[dyketennant]

why is no one talking about the imdb "plot keywords" for episode 6 of good omens 2

[guys-im-literally-spiderman]

a fic inspired by this, because i could not stop thinking about it.

“What’s your name?” The girl who’s name Eddie absolutely did not catch, yelled, while holding her microphone out to him. 

“I’m, Eddie.” He yelled back at her, not quite sure if their yelling was necessary in their quiet corner of the room, but totally loving the chaos anyway. 

“Are you single Eddie?”

“I am indeed.” 

“Would you like to change that?” 

That question was not hard to answer at all. 

“Absolutely.”

“Great, because otherwise this would have been a very short video.” Eddie laughed much harder than he expected to–and oh shit he is much tipsier than he thought. 

“So what’s your type then?” 

“You’re gonna hate me,” Eddie sighed, knowing that what he was about to say was painfully contradictory, but hey, you can't blame a guy for having his taste in men be permanently altered by a guy he had a crush on when he was 20. “So I like jocks… but like pretty boy jocks.” 

“Pretty boy jocks?”

“Yup.”

A smile grew on her face

“Oh easy, give me like 5 minutes.”

And she really wasn’t kidding when she said that. 

Eddie had barely had enough time to get himself another drink when he heard his name being called behind him. He whipped his head around to see– 

Holy shit

“Harrington?!” 

Steve Harrington stared at him with a look on his face that Eddie assumed was equally as shocked as his. But then he’s the first to move, pulling Eddie into an enthusiastic hug. 

“Eddie! Oh my god, it's been so long!” 

When Eddie is finally released from the hug enough to breathe he responds, “what are you doing here?” 

“A gay bar or Chicago?” Steve laughs. 

And, oh yeah, Eddie’s stupid fucking crush. If the butterflies are anything to go by, that’s still around. 

Before Eddie can respond the girl cuts in, “I’m sorry, what’s going on here?”

“We- uh-”

“We’re from the same town.” Steve fills in when Eddie cannot find the words to explain their fucked up found family situation. 

The girl laughs, “what are the chances, jesus!”

“But hey,” Steve smiles in a way that Eddie is sure cannont mean anything good for him, “At least you got his type pretty dead on.”

“Oh my god, I forgot I told you that.” Eddie groans and full body cringes. And Steve just laughs. A frustratingly lovely laugh. 

“I’m not surprised you were very high.” 

Jesus fucking christ.

[ghostofwriting]

Kildare Split Part Four: in another life

Rafe Cameron x reader

Chapter 4: in another life

Note: Here's part four!! I'm still crying over TTPD. Down bad is so incredibly Rafeit's insane. Anyway!! I love you all so much, thank you for reading and being absolutely wonderful. This part covers the smau up until part 26. Good luck soldiers!!

Warnings: none, not edited, angst, swearing, sadness, julio, mentions of drugs, mentions of suicidal ideation.

Word Count: ��6,722

Synopsis: Everyone has noticed that there's been a shift in how Kildare Split acts around each other. Rafe and Y/N used to be so close, they were always pictured together, and always shared stories of each other and for the last few years, there has been nothing from them. A behind-the-scenes look at what went down between everyone's favourite band.

Chapter 4: in another life 

It’s a nightmare. Everything feels off. The walls are caving in. His mouth feels as if he had chewed on cotton balls for the past hour. It’s spinning. He’s lost control of himself and he doesn’t know how he’ll get it back. 

It started because of the thought of them together. Forever. Married. Having kids and living happily ever after clawed and his chest and ate him from the inside out. It was an ugly feeling. He wanted to be happy for her. There was no way he could be. Not when he was so deeply in love with her. Not that he ever stopped. 

It was just one blunt. He stole it from Barry. He was careful not to disturb any of the other drugs he had in there. Careful not to look at them too long. He’s been good. Has been clean for more than two years without any missteps. And here he is high once again. It’s just weed he tells himself. It’s fine. He’s fine. 

They’re about to go onstage when Sofia loses her mind. She goes absolutely ballistic. He’s pulling her off to the side away from prying eyes.

“Stop. Relax. Let me explain.” Everything comes out in a jumble as he’s trying to balance his damn guitar and get her to stop flailing her arms everywhere. 

“There’s no explaining anything. We are over. We are so done, Rafe. Holy shit I cannot believe I put up with your crazy obsession with your friend who by the way you didn’t even date. You’re insane.” 

“Can you calm down for a second?”

“No! For your information Rafe. She doesn’t want you! She’s moved on! And we could have too but no. You’re here still pining over something that doesn’t exist. You are so incredibly disrespectful to me. I have been nothing but supportive of you. And I have put up with so much shit from you so much hatred because what? Did I take you away from her? You chose me! You left her. And now I’m leaving you.” 

“Sofia-“

“The way you have treated me the last couple of months with your album release and hinting that it’s about her? Do you have any idea how that makes me look? How it makes me feel? You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh! Sorry! You and her! And barely even yourself, you know how I know?” She looks at him, volcanic ash in her eyes. “Because you’re fucking high right now!”

“Keep your voice down.” He pulls her deeper into the corner they’re standing in.

“Fuck you, Rafe. I loved you. I did. I thought that once she moved on, we would be okay. I was wrong. Do not sabotage this for her. She’s happy. You’re not good enough for her. And not for me.”

She does a 180 and storms off away from backstage and away from him. He looks up and Topper is staring at him from where he stands beside Sarah, her hand is on his arm, a look of concern on her face. He shakes his head at them and turns to the stairs that lead to the stage. He spots Y/N and Julio, they’re talking quietly to each other, he sees her laugh and touch Julio’s face, and he kisses the palm of her hand.

Fuck this. He runs back to the green room. He knows he left it around here somewhere and he knows where the lighters are. He digs through three of Barry’s jackets before he finds the blunt. Barry must have moved it. When he pulls it out, a plastic baggie with four white pills comes up with it. He thinks about putting them back. He wants to put them back. He hears the 5-minute warning, stuffs the baggie in his jeans and runs to find a lighter. 

+++

There’s something off about Rafe. She notices when they begin their second song. He’s swaying more than usual, coming up and singing to her face a little too closely. 

It must be because they’re trying to be friends. And maybe the fight with Sofia. It was pretty nasty the way she went at him. She couldn’t make out what they were saying, the crowd and music drowning them out. Sofia looked upset. She must have cooled off because she’s in the audience standing next to Sarah. Not that their manager would allow her to leave even if she wanted to. It would cause too much speculation online and that’s something they don’t need more of. 

She hasn’t had to protect Julio from how Rafe and her used to act on stage, during their no-talking years, they still put on an act but it was nowhere near the level of how they acted pre-everything. They were pretty heavy on the PDA, without confirming anything of course. It was more like singing into each other's mics while staring longingly into each other’s eyes. A lot of heavy petting, she would drape herself around Rafe, Rafe would swing her around and carry her. They would practically make out on stage every show. They did everything but have sex. It’s no wonder the theories and rumours started. 

Post everything that went down, they tamed it and kept it to their side of the stage unless they were switching over. They didn’t share a mic and looking at each other too long was off-limits. And now, well now, it looks like Rafe wants to sing into her mouth with the way he gets closer and closer. Julio knows about their past and he knows that she would never do anything to hurt him but this is a little much. She doesn’t want to rub anything in his face or make him feel disrespected. She also can’t diss Rafe on stage. They have an act. They’re all best friends and nothing bad has ever happened between them. 

So she plays along. And she sings into his mic, she whips her hair in his face and he sings over her shoulder. They’re closer than they’ve ever been. This should be a fun one to look at online. At some point, her shirt comes off. She’s a little angry at Rafe’s immediate switch-up. She feels that since they’re just figuring out how to be friends, he could give it a rest and not go all out. So her shirt comes off. It got stuck on the mic stand, she got pissed off that it ripped a little and she took it off, throwing it into the crowd. At some point Rafe is not even fully on the stage anymore, he’s lying down looking up at her as he plays his guitar. She’s standing over him, singing into the mic and playing the bass all while wondering what the hell has gotten into him. 

Security is going insane over Rafe hanging off the stage and people are trying to grab his legs. Sarah is diving into the crowd trying to get a shot of what’s happening on stage. She kind of wants the show to be over but at the same time, it’s the most fun she’s had on stage in a while. 

+++

Trying to find their footing after not being friends for three years, that much is clear. One moment he’s trying to make out with her onstage and the next he can barely look at her. It has been a little bit harder than she thought it would be. 

It’s strangely painful. The realization that they can’t go back to how they were before anything happened. She knew it wouldn’t be easy but these awkward silences might kill her. 

She’s sitting between Topper and Rafe, staring directly at Barry’s bored face as Ash explains who kows what. Something about which celebrities and important label heads are coming to tonight’s show. 

She didn’t care about the label heads. One of their most important shows had been the one two days ago. Their friends had all flown in from different places to see them. Now back in the city she calls home, that’s still all that matters. 

Cleo and Pope flew in from New York, John B and JJ had flown in from Hawaii. JJ would be leaving almost immediately after to continue training for the next big surf competition and John B would be staying at Sarah’s. Julio was at her house, she didn’t want him to have to spend the entire day at rehearsals so she told him to come by when he was ready. Ward was around somewhere too, probably with Sarah and John B. Kelce was at his hotel and would be arriving later with Kie after he got her from the airport, the only one that had missed the last show. It was an important show for them because of their people not because of some random celebrity they didn’t know. 

After the show, they would go to one of their favourite bars to celebrate and then she would be off to North Carolina for a week before moving to Madrid for the foreseeable future.

She was so excited to be there a bit before Julio started filming so they could visit his friends and family. 

After Ash is done running them through the guest list, they have some downtime before their private soundcheck and the fan soundcheck. Fan Soundcheck is her favourite because they get to play some deep cuts and answer some fun questions.

They’re standing backstage as one of their stagehands announces they’ll be out in three minutes. They’re standing in a circle making sure that their in-ears are on. Barry and Topper bickering about some random thing.

“Ready, buddy?” She looks at Rafe, her eyebrow raised as Barry laughs. 

“Buddy? Good one.” Topper laughs as Rafe’s face turns red. 

“Okay yeah, I’ll never say that again.”

“Please,” she laughs, “let’s go.” She leads the guys onto the stage as their fans start screaming. 

They play a song right off the bat and then sit down for a few questions. 

Everything is going fine, the mood is great, they’re all vibing with each other on stage, it’s great. Right up until it’s not. 

“Hi, my name is Sammy, my question is for Y/N.” She smiles at the girl and waves. 

“Hi Sammy, I remember you! You saw our last show too,” she speaks into the microphone. 

“Hi! Oh my goodness yes. I drove here from San Francisco after getting tickets last minute.” The girl rambles. “Okay, so I was wondering, what are you most looking forward to doing on your break?” She mulls over the question before answering. 

“I’m going to be semi-moving to Spain for a while so probably just exploring the city.” Sammy nods and thanks her as the mic is passed to the next person.  

Something shifts on stage after that question. She doesn’t know if she missed something or what, but suddenly the mood is tense. Barry’s in between her and Rafe and she can still feel the tension coming off him in waves. 

After the last question, they played one more song and bid the fans goodbye, telling them they would see them in a few hours for the show. 

Barry goes and does whatever Barry does before a show, Rafe storms off and Topper follows him. She looks over at her guitar tech who just shrugs his shoulders and takes her guitar from her. 

She texts Julio asking when he will be getting to the arena. When she doesn’t receive an answer, she sits in the green room, with no idea where the boys are. 

She dozes off for an hour before her phone blows up with texts from Rafe. She opens Julio’s message first, telling her that he would leave her house in an hour. Then she goes to Rafe’s texts, saying something along the lines of needing to talk to her. She sees that she has notifications from Twitter as well and opens those. From Rafe too. 

“I need you”

“Please don’t go”

“Y/N”

What is he doing? They just talked about trying to be friends, she knows about his feelings but he can’t go around blowing up her phone. He’s just sad about Sofia, how could he expect her to stay after he confessed to her that he still had feelings for his ex who wasn’t really his ex? 

She asks him what he’s doing and he asks to meet her. She tells him no, and that it’s too late to d this. Too late in the day, too late because the show is about to start, and too late because she’s going and she doesn’t want him. 

After telling Cleo to haul ass to the arena. Needing to speak to her about the Rafe of it all. She runs to the bus to hide. She doesn’t want to see him so she’ll avoid the arena. 

She doesn’t think about how if he doesn’t find her inside, he’ll look for her on the bus. 

“Y/N?” She hears him call. She’s in her bunk, curtain drawn and holding her breath. He walks closer and stands in front of her bunk. She can see his shadow. 

“I know you’re in there.” She stays quiet still. “Please talk to me.” She sighs, not able to deny him when he sounds so sad. 

She draws the curtain open and meets his eyes. 

“We talked about this.”

“No, we talked about how I would try to be your friend. Not how you’re going to move away with your boyfriend.”

“What did you expect me to do? Sit at home alone for however long the break ends up being?”

“No, I thought we could hang out when we were both home and repair our friendship or whatever.”

“Rafe, I can’t do that. I won’t put my life on hold for you anymore.”

“Why are you doing this? Why can’t you just feel the same way? Why won’t you love me?” 

She’s surprised by his words. For the first time, she looks at him. Takes in his dishevelled appearance, his jittering hands, and the dilation of his pupils. 

“Are you high?” she swings herself off her bed to get as much distance between them as possible. 

“No.” He’s lying. 

“What the fuck Rafe? Why would you do this to yourself?”

“Because I’m fucking sad okay? And I don’t want to feel anything.” She can’t believe he would go down this road again,  after being clean for so long. She can’t believe he would be around her like this. Not when he knows how many bad memories it brings.

“You have to leave. You have to get away from me.”

“Y/N.” His voice cracks.

“No. You know my history, the shit I have been through because of drugs. You know it very well actually. I don’t need to be around your erratic behaviour. It’s triggering, it hurts me.” Her voice is firm. 

“Okay. I’m sorry.” he backs up turning around quickly and storming off the bus. 

She sits back down, her hands slightly shaking. If he’s using again, she doesn't know if she can have him in her life. 

+++

He’s happy Sarah’s the one that finds him. He’s spread out on the floor. The curtain covers him from the fans' curious eyes. The stage is quiet, with only a few people coming and going. The rest of the crew’s at dinner. 

“What are you doing?” She stares from above him.

“Laying.” He mumbles

“Are you not going to come eat dinner?” She points behind her in the direction of the lunch room.

“Not hungry.”

“What’s wrong?

“Sad.” He sees the annoyance at his one-word answers cross her face. 

“Rafe, full sentences please.”

“Y/N told me to go away. That she couldn’t be around me.” She crouches down next to him. 

“I thought you two were trying to be friends?” she questions. 

“I ruined it.” He can feel himself well up. 

“How?”

“By being high.”

“You are not.” she kneels left to him now, grabbing his face roughly and bringing it so his eyes are aligned with hers. 

“I am.” She looks angry at him. He feels tears start to gather. God, why does he make the women he cares most about in his life so upset?

“You can’t be high. You’re an addict.”

“Just weed. Nothing more.”

“I don’t care if it’s just weed. It’s not just weed for you. It’s a slippery slope. You go from weed to forgetting you’re sober, to cocaine.”

“I’m sorry.” The pity in her look makes his stomach twist.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up before the show. You need food and to sober up.”

“I’ll be sad though.” She stands up, extending her hand out for him to take. 

“You’re high and sad, I don’t think it helped.”

“That’s what the cocaine is for.” He jokes, it doesn’t earn him a laugh, just a scowl.

“Don’t even joke about that.”

Maybe he can get drunk after the show, then he’ll forget how sad he is. 

+++

The show goes off without a hitch. They are all smiles, dripping with sweat as they take the final bow of the tour. Tears are prickling her eyes as she looks over at Topper. His smile was big and shining. She looks at Rafe and he’s messing with Barry’s hair, a burst of laughter leaving him as Barry jumps on his back. Barry waves to the crowd as Rafe piggybacks him off. Topper grabs her hand and pulls her off the stage, waving one last time before they can’t be seen anymore. 

Julio waits for her, a huge grin on his face and his arms wide open for her to run into. Once she lets go of him, she hugs Cleo and then Pope, and then she’s tackled by JJ, Kie, and John B. 

“You all killed it!” JJ yells in her ear, making her jolt back. 

“Fucking best show we’ve ever played!” Topper screams, coming up to her and hugging her. Barry joins the hug putting his sweaty arms around them both. Rafe hesitantly joins the group hug. 

“Another successful tour,” he says, his eyes catching hers in the huddle. She smiles softly. 

“Let’s go party!” Kie screams from down the hallway where she’s started to walk away. 

Everyone starts cheering and following her lead. She finds Julio’s hand as they make their way to gather their stuff and leave the arena. 

+++

He spots Julio come in through the back doors of the club, Y/N hanging off his arm, her lips swollen. His eyes soften when he looks at her. He sees how much he loves her, and how he would never hurt her. He would go to the ends of the world for her. And he hates him. He can’t stand that she’s not hanging off his arm. That he’s not the one kissing her against a brick wall outside a sleazy bar. 

Sofia’s gone. They’re done. And he’s hurting for the relationship that he could have had if he had let go of Y/N. Not that he ever could have. It wasn’t in the cards for him. A world where he wasn’t irrevocably in love with her didn’t exist. 

“You okay?” Sarah comes up next to him, planting her hands on the table to steady herself. 

“I’m high again.” He confesses. 

“Rafe, we talked about this.”

“I get that I just can’t stop. Everything hurts.” They look of pity from earlier returns.

“You need to stop.” He looks past her to where Y/N is.

“It’s just weed.”

“You don’t get to do weed. It’s not just weed to you. Slippery slope remember?

“I know.” 

“I’m here for you. I think you need to go back to rehab. Either before you tour or after. It needs to be sooner rather than later.  I’ll drive you there myself.” She offers. 

The idea of going back to rehab irks him. He’s not as bad as he was last time. He has control over it. At least that’s what he tells himself. 

“I don’t know how to be okay watching her be with someone else.” Sarah looks behind her at Y/N with Julio. Her smile lit up the room. Her laugh was music to his ears. 

“You don’t get to break down about this. You made your choice. Let her be happy. you need to focus on staying sober, you heal, and you move on.” 

“How?” He can’t rip his eyes away from the couple. Wishing with everything in him that it was him with her.

“By being her friend, Rafe.” She pats him on the back. He watches as she follows Topper out the back door where Y/N and Julio had come through earlier. 

Everything he and Sarah talked about flies out the window when Julio of all people see him standing there with a little bag full of who knows what that Barry gave him. Barry’s drunk and high, that’s one of the only reasons he gave it to him. Barry would kill him any other time. 

He’s been toying around with the idea of just doing it. Taking all these pills and getting it over with. 

“You probably shouldn’t take those.” Rafe side glances at him but doesn’t speak.”

“If you’re doing that shit you shouldn’t be around her.” Rafe doesn’t like him and he likes him even less when he tells him if he can or can’t be around Y/N.

“Mind your business.” He barks out.

“This is my business, you know why? Because she’s my business. And she’s a recovering addict too, Rafe. Or did you forget?” He shrugs. 

“Look, I don’t care if you care about your sobriety. But we both know you care about her enough not to risk hers. So if you’re going to do that shit, don’t bring it around her. And stay away from her.” This is the angriest he has ever heard the dark-haired man. 

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do on my tour with my friends.”  Deep down he knows Julio’s right. Right now he doesn’t care what the man says. He wants to fight him. 

“Do whatever the hell you want with yourself, I’m asking you to please, stay away from Y/N if you’re going to do drugs.”

“So you’re isolating her now too.”

“What does that mean?” Julio looks at him, one eyebrow raised, lips tight.

“You’re going to take her away. You’re taking her away from her family and her friends, to live in a country where she knows nobody. What kind of boyfriend does that?” 

“I’m taking her away from you, right?” 

“Yeah, you are.” The words spill from him before he can even think of denying them. 

“She isn’t anyone’s to take away. She makes her own decisions and she chose to be with me.” Julio saying shit like that makes him feel like he thinks he’s the best option. The best man out there.

“Shut up. You’re not better than me just because you say that stuff.”

“I’m not better than anyone, just let her be.” He doesn’t say anything. Julio stands up.

“You had your chance. Let her go.” He stays quiet. Julio starts to walk away. 

“I can’t.” He sees as Julio’s steps stutter.

“I’m going to fight for her.” 

“There’s nothing left to fight for.” He walks away. Back into her arms. Where he wishes he could be.

+++

The two weeks back home in Kildare were filled with press and interviews. Filled with people asking them when the next album was and when they would be back. He was scheduled to go to rehab after two weeks back home but due to scheduling, they had to move his tour up. Y/N was already in Spain. She spent a bit of time with her family, made sure everything was good and then flew off to Europe, taking his heart with her.

They were okay again, he had explained that he would go to rehab and try to get himself under control again. She told him that she was proud of him and that she wished him all the best. She told him that she wouldn’t be able to make it to his first show but that she would be there for his last. She hugged him goodbye on her last day on the island and told him that he would see her soon. 

The engagement scare still circulated in his brain. He’s so afraid that she would get engaged while she was away and he would truly lose her forever. Whenever he thought about it he felt like throwing up. 

One month. One month and he would see her again. 

+++

She stayed with Julio’s family for three weeks in Madrid before they had to go to Valencia where he had to film. She liked being in Madrid the most because she knew how to get around and she could stay at Julio’s house. In Valencia, they’re staying in a hotel so she doesn’t have the comfort of her things. She’ll go to the set with him most of the time but other times they are such long shoots she’d rather do anything else. She wants to explore but she’s so directionally challenged she’s scared to get lost and never return, her map couldn’t even save her sometimes. 

Julio cooks for her every day, he teaches her how to cook some dishes he learned in his classes, they write songs together, and she runs songs by him which turns into them taking turns serenading each other. They drunkenly kiss under street lights and dance in the rain. She’s never felt happier, ever been so in love. 

A month in and she’s back in Los Angeles where Rafe’s playing his last show. She’s excited to be here for him but she’s counting down the hours until she can go back to Spain. 

When she gets home she checks to see that her house hasn’t been broken into and that all pipes are still in place. Her worst nightmare is returning to a flooded house. It all seems normal, she opens a few windows to air it out. Penny’s back in Spain with Julio so she feels extra alone. 

She texts Rafe that she’s back in town and he texts her back within a minute. 

“Thank you for coming, angel.” She smiles at the nickname and responds,

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

He sees her and his world stops. Her hair is in loose waves and it looks a little longer than when he had last seen her. His heart reaches out to her, begging to be in her presence. Sarah notices him there standing like an idiot and waves him over, the motion grabbing Y/N’s attention. 

“Hey,” he says walking over.

“Hi!” She says putting her arms out to him, she goes on her tippy toes to reach him. 

“How are you?” He asks her, slowly letting go. 

“I’m good! Jetlagg is kicking my ass, but happy to be here! Look at you, rockstar.” She has a wide smile on her face that makes him feel like he’s seeing the sun for the first time.

“Yeah,” he laughs a little, scratching the back of his neck, shy all of a sudden.

“I heard a little rumour that Sofia was around?”

“I invited her to a show, extending a branch and all and we talked but that ship has sailed.”

“Are you on good terms?”

“I think we could be better, but it’s okay, I’m not holding my breath.” She links her arm with his, he looks at where their arms connect and feels like he’s on fire. How is he ever going to get over her?

+++

Rafe is amazing. He’s in a class of his own when he’s up on stage giving the show of a lifetime. It makes her tear up. She can’t help but think how he almost gave this all up when they were younger. She can’t imagine him anywhere but the stage. If he were working for his dad, his star would be caged. She’s so happy she could be a small part of his journey. He deserves the world. 

For the first time since they started talking again, she feels like they can go back to normal. She loves him. She can have her best friend back. 

+++

She doesn’t know how fast everything can fall apart. It’s perfect. Too perfect. She should have known that the other shoe would drop sooner or later. That’s how her life goes. She should have known she couldn’t have everything she wants. Things get ripped away eventually.

Rafe and Topper had mentioned that there were rumours they might have to go on a festival run. She hasn’t heard anything from their manager or their label. She likes the idea of a festival run, it could get them playing in front of people who don’t know who they are and expose them to new crowds.

She misses performing, she knows this would cut her time in Spain short. Much shorter than anticipated. She’s supposed to be there for almost seven months, with a bit of travelling back and forth until Julio finishes filming and they can stay in New York for a while. 

She’s only been here for three months. It’s been so nice to be back with Julio full time, and get to do normal couple things after work. She doesn’t know how she’ll break the news to him. She chooses not to until she knows for sure. 

The peace is short-lived. 

“What is this?” Julio holds up the phone for her to take. She grabs his phone and looks at Boston Calling’s festival lineup. She reads trying to see what he’s talking about and finally finds what he’s asking about. Saturday, May 8th: Kildare Split B stage. 

“I promise I didn’t know anything about this.” She tries to reassure him.

“That’s in two weeks.” He says to her, she feels the emotion in his voice.

“I know. I’ll talk to them.” She gives him his phone back and wraps her arms around him. 

“I’m sorry.” They stay wrapped up in each other, silence overtaking them.

+++

“Ash, no one told me. I just thought I had more time.”

“There’s nothing we can do, we have the contract, you’re expected here.” She slides her hand over her face and sighs. 

“Okay. That’s fine, but I’m leaving right after, no press.”

“Y/N, that’s not the only festival. You’ll be doing stops all spring and summer.” Her stomach drops. 

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” 

“I’m sorry. The label will make no exceptions. You have to be here for every show.”

+++

She cries in Julio’s arms about having to leave so soon. He tells her it’s okay and that it’s nothing that they aren’t used to. She hates being used to being so far from him. She already misses him. 

They try to get back to normal for the remainder of the time but something shifts. She can’t quite place it. She doesn’t know if it’s her or if it’s him. It feels off. For the first time since they met, it feels like they’re orbiting around different stars. 

They’re returning to their apartment from lunch with one of his co-stars when her world starts to crack. She knows what he’s thinking before he even says it out loud. His eyes are sad and she can read him. She’s never hated him a day since they met. Not until now. She tries to distract herself, tries changing the subject, she tells him she’s going to shower and get ready for bed. 

In the shower, she tries to scrub away the doubt and rubs at her skin to try and rid herself of the feeling. Impending doom. The world ending. A black hole fiding her universe and destroying it before she can do anything to stop it. 

When she gets out of the shower he’s sitting on the edge of their bed facing her, she’s still trying to avoid it, she kisses his cheek and turns away. He stops her from walking away by grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him. She doesn’t face him. She can’t.

“This is so hard.” His voice comes out hoarse.

“Then don’t do it.” 

“I love you so much it hurts.” It’s not supposed to hurt. He taught her that. 

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

“You said we could get through it. You said that it was nothing we hadn’t done.”

“I know what I said. I thought I could.”

“And now you can’t.” He looks at her, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I wish things could be different.”

“No. No. No. Stop, no, you don’t get to break up with me.” She’s screaming, the tears already spilling from her eyes. She’s never felt so crazy. And her world falls apart. She doesn’t remember a time before her life was him and her.

“Y/N. You know I love you, I would do anything for you, and this is the right thing to do.”

“No. You don’t get to choose what is right for me. I do. And I choose you. I always choose you.”

“It’s not feasible. Being away from you. It hurts too much. It hurts you and it hurts me. I can’t do 

it. My heart breaks every time you leave.”

“I’ll do anything.” Tears fall from his eyes as he gulps.

“Moving here is not realistic for you, you were supposed to be here for way longer and look, you leave in three days. I don’t blame you. It’s everything you’ve worked for and I won’t be the person that holds you back.” She’s sobbing now, she can’t see him over her tears, she’s shaking and desperate to get him to listen. To keep him. 

“I’ll quit the band.” It comes tumbling out of her mouth before she can stop it. she grabs his face and makes him look at her. “I’ll quit.” He looks at her eyes wide. 

“No.”

“Julio, please.”

“You don’t mean that, you’ll resent me and you won’t be happy and it’ll ruin us.”

“I won’t. I promise.” She’d never heard these sounds come out of her body before, so guttural and painful from somewhere deep inside her. 

“You will. You would never ask me to quit acting, would you?”

“No,” she whines, the tears flowing.

“Then how could I ask you to quit your dreams?” He’s right. She knows he is and it fucking hurts. She wants to rip her heart out. She’s never felt pain like this and she wishes she could have never met him. 

That’s not true, the thought of never having him in her life hurts. No matter how painful this moment is, the realization that their relationship is over is, she would never take back the years she spent with him. He showed her what it meant to be loved. How it felt to be seen and wanted. He taught her selflessness in love. She would never take it back. She needs to numb the pain. 

She falls into his arms, her face on his chest as she cries and cries. He holds her like he never wants to let go and cries with her. God how she wishes she could live another life. How she wishes they could be other people. In another life, she thinks. In another life. 

He’s what she wants, but she’s not what he needs. Because she’s hurting him. She’s been hurting him and he can’t put up with it anymore. She’s not worth it.

She books her flight for that night. Not wanting to prolong their inevitable goodbye. She watches as he closes the door to his apartment. The last time she’ll be here. They hold hands on the way down to his car and then as he drives her to the airport where he kisses her for the last time. Kisses her goodbye. And she gets on the plane and cries all the way home. The flight attendant keeps bringing her water and the people around her are whispering. She closes the curtains around her pod. Her eyes focus on the sides of the window as the frost builds like little spider webs reaching out to her.

She loves him. She loves him. She can’t believe this.

+++

She gets to her house. Penny next to her. She sets her stuff down next to the door and collapses into a pile of skin, bone, and numbness. Her heart missing. Her heart was somewhere back in Spain with the boy he dragged her out of her isolation and brought her back to life. How could she ever be okay again?

She doesn’t leave her house or her bed until the day she has to be on a flight to Boston. She has about 100 missed calls and a billion unopened text messages. She doesn’t care to talk to anyone. Doesn’t want to explain the breakup. 

+++

She can feel herself isolating. To the way, things were before him. She’s in a room full of people and she feels the most alone she’s ever been. She waves everyone off, not giving them a second glance. She marches on stage, she plays the show with a missing heart. Pretending she’s okay. The band sees right through her, the fans don’t know better. 

Everyone is worried about her. Ash forces her to come out with the band and crew. She’s probably scared she’ll overdose if she’s on her own. All the telltale signs of how she used to be. They’re keeping an eye on her. 

She doesn’t feel like she’s in her body, she’s floating through life right now. She walks out onto the balcony, needing fresh air. 

Everyone’s dancing as she sits on the balcony and stares at the night sky. The wind makes goose bumps rise on her skin. She feels another tear try and escape her eye. She blinks it away before it can. She’s so tired of crying all the time. 

“Hey, you.” Topper steps out into the crisp air. 

“Hey,” she whispers, trying to cover that she’s been crying. 

“You okay?”

“No.”

“It’ll be okay. Sometimes love just doesn’t last. It happens and it’ll pass.”

“We didn’t break up because we didn’t love each other. If the distance didn’t exist I would still be with him. I would choose him over and over again but I was hurting him and in turn, I was hurting myself and neither of us expected or would accept the other quitting their dream jobs to move. So we’re done and it fucking hurts, Top. I saw forever with him. I haven’t felt that way about anyone ever. Part of me thinks that one day, when we’re both settled and not chasing the next best thing, we’ll be together.” She’s choking up, tears spilling over.

“Come here,” he opens his arms to her and she falls into them, “I’m here for you.” she looks over his shoulder to where Rafe is with their friends. 

“For now I just want to drink and cry and sleep for three weeks. I want the pain to stop. I don’t want to feel.” She pulls back from Topper, grabbing his arm and dragging him back inside. 

She would forget. At least for tonight.

+++

Her head pounds in the morning. She would blame all the crying she’s been doing but it’s mostly the alcohol. Cleo would kill her if she knew how much she was drinking again. She opens her eyes and looks around the half-lit room, the morning sun peeking through the curtains. The curtains are on the wrong side of the room. She looks around some more and notices clothes thrown on the floor. Men’s clothes. This isn’t her room. 

She remembers bits of the night before, kissing and touching in the elevator ride, the fight to find his room key, looking into his blue eyes and forgetting the name of the man with the brown eyes. At least for a moment. She blinks as if that would stop the headache.  

“Shit.” She hears from beside her. She slowly turns her head until her eyes meet the blue eyes staring back at her. 

“Top.”

“Fuck.”

[val-cansalute]

𝙱𝙴𝚈𝙾𝙽𝙳 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝟶𝟹

summary: ellie and dina finally get to talk, you see her again at julia’s party

warnings: mentions of drug abuse and mental health issues, some description of injury, ellies jealous again, angst with comfort in later chapters

a/n: there’s a lana reference hidden in here if you can find it. this took so incredibly fucking long and i don’t even have an excuse (other than that this one is really long), i’m just really lazy 😬, see you next year. i hate this, not even fucking around, it feels so rushed even tho it took a month and a half to post 😶‍🌫️ it’s so long and barely any of it is about the two of them together but I SWEAR it’s so necessary for the next chapter cuz they’re literally gonna be together for the entirety of it… DONT STOP TALKING ABOUT PALESTINE

tag list: @diddiqueen, @amberputh, @fatbootymuncher (dude.), @sapphointhe21stcenturyposts, @jadelovesyou00, @ravyaryn.

series masterlist

Ellie is back in that room.

She never left.

Fluorescent lights overhead are blurred by an influx of tears as she sits by the hospital bed, scratching at and clinging to his cold and still body, sobbing like a bedlamite with blood drenching her clothes fresh carmine.

It was pouring out of him like it was desperate to escape and would not stop no matter how desperately she tried to bar the floodgate, seal the supermassive black hole with blockade of her pitiable palms.

She's felt this fear before, this helplessness, over and over. That pain is familiar.

And that glaring screech never quiets, always tormenting her, getting louder and louder as she watches Joel slip away, kicking, begging and screaming. She feels like one of those motes of dust that hover in mid-air with no limbs, no sway. It gets so loud, waves crashing against the walls of her skull like a tsunami, flushing her brain out of the night terror and jolting her heaving body upright.

She clutches her chest, grappling at the reddened skin, feeling that pain as raw and real as the day she had actually been in that fucking hospital. With a heavy head and a body scrawled with beads of sweat, she stumbles to her feet and strains to focus her mind on getting away, anywhere else, in spite of the crushing throb of blood rushing through her.

She cannot fill her lungs, each sharp and desperate intake of air feeling like gritty sand scratching her throat, and she needs to get out right now or else… or else- fuck!

She doesn’t know! But she can feel it, and it's bad- real bad. She can feel it deep in the knotted-up pit of her stomach, and it’s making her retch from nausea.

Her vision’s already blurring and the rest of the world melts away into a distorted sway of formless shapes and colors, overwhelmed by a pounding sense of terror. Holy shit, she can’t feel her face. She can’t feel her face. She needs to get out. Why are her legs suddenly so weak? She’s telling them to move but they won’t. Get out of here. She need to get to the door to outside. Fresh air. Right now.

Before she knows it, she’s stumbling out the wooden door and slumping onto the cold wooden planks of the veranda, hit with a wave of cool night air, prickling her clammy skin with goosebumps. She squeezes her eyes shut tight and never loosens the hold she has on her thumping chest, all focus placed on calming its assault, and then she feels it.

The gentle nudge of a wet snout against her hand, pulling her out of her mind. Ellie’s eyes meet the culprit sat beside her with his tongue hanging out as he pants excitedly.

She buries her hands in his matted fur. The sensation of it running through her fingers is like an anchor. It was one of the techniques they taught her at rehab, and she wheezed out a tired laugh in pride at her studiousness. Like a tidal wave, the panic ebbed, receding into the expanse of water beyond.

The scruffy shepherd dog nudged his head into her leg this time and Ellie groaned in disgust, still whispering a strained and quiet,

“Thank you, buddy.”

Head up to the sky, she counts each star her eye can capture to bring herself down, each constellation so much clearer back here than in the city, so much brighter now. Even the night air is a little crisper, filling her to the brim in a deep, stuttered sigh. As she sits there, her phone buzzes in her pocket and she pulls it out, halting when she reads the sender’s name.

Ellie stares at the screen for a while, keeping her fingers deep within the tufts of fur beside her but her frayed nerves don't spark. She shoves the phone into the front pocket of her hoodie, not bothering to type out a response. Dina knows she’s seen it.

When she finally retreats to that haunted bedroom, she doesn’t bother trying to sleep. Those motes and flecks of decayed memories still linger in your and Ellie’s old apartment days after her eventual return from the godforsaken motel. Every couple of minutes she lifts a stiff arm out to let them flutter between her calloused fingers, glowing in the honeyed light of her bedside lamp.

Sometimes, the fact that your shift ends at 4,

“This is absolutely unacceptable!”

brings you an unimaginable flurry of joy,

“And I won’t be coming here again!”

because dealing with this for an entire day would probably make you catatonic.

You do your best to keep your facial muscles flexed into an expression that comes across as even mildly concerned, because you couldn’t give a fuck less if you tried, and now you’re just counting down the seconds till this boomer asshole turns around and leaves.

God, why is he still standing here?

Eventually, he walks out with all the cadence of a nine year old, and Nathan is patting your shoulder all reassuringly as he laughs at his own joke which you completely tuned out, and now you have to force yet another fake-laugh, and holy shit, this is the worst.

You spend the rest of your shift sort-of hovering around the espresso machines, pretending to be present. When the digits on your phone hit 16:00, you huff as you undo the finicky knot at the back of your apron and hurl it onto the counter before hurrying out.

You’d deal with the mildly irritating consequences of that dramatic exit tomorrow. For now, you just needed to get home and get into bed ASAP.

The front door slams shut, shaking the walls. You’re bounding up the stairs to your bedroom, flinging the door open when you get to it, before stopping in your frenetic movements at the sight of Alexis perched on the edge of your bed, scrolling on her phone.

You forgot she didn’t work on a Saturday.

You open your mouth to speak and, before the sound escapes your windpipe, she’s enveloping you in comfort, throwing her arms around you in an attempt to rid your face of that glum countenance.

Quickly, you clamber to cling onto her too, eyes wide as they flicker around the room from over her shoulder.

But… this feels stiff – claustrophobic. Too hot, too constrictive.

Like a giant wall enclosing you, moving in closer and closer. All she's doing is making an empty room smaller.

And maybe it’s just a bad reaction because you've had a bad day, but tears are pooling in your eyes rapidly as that dull ache that accompanies your perpetual loneliness suddenly grows louder and louder.

Constantly in the back of your mind, since your family turned their backs on you, with a friend group so small that you can still barely hold onto, with Dina so close but never close enough to trust completely, and the day the love of your life left you alone.

Just can’t ignore the feeling that there’s something so intrinsically different and disagreeable about you that you’ll never beat that isolation.

Endless love to give without an outlet.

You squeeze your eyes shut over tears you refuse to cry anymore.

You never intended for this thing with Alexis to get too far. You know nothing’s going to come of it. That’s just the way it’s been since Ellie.

Ellie’s foot’s got groove, tapping against the spongy grass surrounding the park bench with a ferocity transcendent to that of Ellie’s body.

She hasn’t been to this park in a while. Almost two years, to be exact.

Fuck, she thinks she might vomit.

She can’t stop whipping her head around the place erratically, trying to evaluate the people strolling aimlessly along the path. She thinks she must look suspicious as fuck. She’s probably drawing even more attention to herself, craning her neck like that. That thought stills her.

With her hood up and the drawstrings keeping the thick fabric taut to her freckled skin, she’s desperately trying to avoid recognition. She doesn’t think she can handle conversation with a friend, let alone a jittery fan. Also, she isn’t often vain, but she’d rather not be caught looking like shit.

Especially not after all the things people said about her online during her recuperation at rehab.

“Boo.”

Ellie yelps indignantly, lunging her body away from the source of the mutter behind her. When she turns around, she’s face to face with Dina’s head thrown back into a laugh, something she hasn’t come face to face with in an ashamedly long time.

To be frank, Ellie was not prepared for anything short of quiet resentment and awkward stretches of silence between the two of them, as was Dina.

However, Dina doesn’t think she can handle that. In fact, she doesn’t think either of them can handle that.

She doesn’t think she can handle hearing Ellie’s hushed voice and seeing that coy smile after so long of being worried sick about her, while keeping the well-guarded distance they’ve built over the past months.

Ellie has suffered a lot, Dina knows that too well. And she’s going to suffer more, going to get enough of that dreaded brooding silence from others (you). So, Dina decides to lighten the weight.

Ellie huffs out a sigh, face shifting into a small hesitant smile as she gauges the strange unfolding of this whole situation, before looking away and muttering,

“What the fuck, D? You scared the shit outta me.”

Because she was ready for something different, yes, but if this is what she’s going to get, she’ll take as much of it as she can. God, she craves normalcy more than those drugs she had to go to rehab for.

But then Dina takes a seat beside her, and the wind is knocked out of Ellie, suddenly so close to everything she left behind, amalgamated in the form of the woman who was, at some point in time, one of her best friends. She takes in a sharp breath of air, looks down at her hands, and feels awful.

“I… I’m sorry for… you know, showing up out of nowhere, but I-“

She takes a deep breath and looks up, cleverly utilizing gravity to discreetly send tears back down. While she takes a moment to gather her words, she appreciates the thin, cotton whirls, curving into the azure sky, and blinks.

Ellie didn’t used to cry. She thought, for the longest time, that something was wrong with her. And something was. She's been through a lot. She drifted through life like a ghost, pushing it down and down, and further down. But a few months ago, it was like the dam burst, and now tears are ready to flow no matter when or where.

It’s getting slightly inconvenient.

“I couldn’t bring myself to text you… a- after so long. I jus-“

Dina holds a hand up, and shakes her head,

“You’re good,”

before a heavy silence blankets the park bench again.

Further up, a little kid runs across the field and trips over air and eats shit on the ground. Ellie presses her lips together. Dina presses her lips together. They both look away.

“How… How have you been?”

“…Good. Different, but good. A lot’s changed around here since you…”

Ellie winces, eyebrows knitting into grievance as the words land heavy on her mind. She knew it was coming, Dina has every right to feel what she feels but, holy shit, it still cuts through her like a blade. Ellie can’t bring herself to look at her as she stutters through another apology, her voice cracking through her scramble for the right words,

"Dina, I’m… I’m so sorry. I should never have just… left like that. I didn’t mean for it to-"

"Ellie," her voice is firm,

"you don’t have to explain yourself. What happened… yes, it hurt really fucking bad at the time, but you weren’t well... You’ve been through a lot... too much, and I’m sure you’re gonna have more than enough shit on your plate here too, but I forgave you a long time ago."

Ellie’s words catch in her throat. There is so much to say, and no way to say it, but the look on Dina’s face makes her feel comfortable just leaving it behind. It’s so difficult to muster the energy to speak, and there are no easy answers or simple explanations. They both know that.

"Anyway, enough about me. How’ve you been?"

“I… I’ve been doing a lot better – emotionally. Rehab was good. It… helped me a lot. But… I don’t know. Leaving LA was a given, it’s just… I don’t think I can face a lot of the people here. I want to try, I want to make things right, I wanna be better, but the people… they just… look at me like they hate me…

I don’t know if coming back here was the right thing to do…”

Dina stays quiet for a moment. Her heart is full, and her waterlines are flooding for the first time since she sat down.

“Fuck ‘em all. They don’t know a thing, Els. They don’t even know you.”

Her voice is small and her eyes are wide; she watches the ripple of movement through the trees lining the sidewalk at the other side of the park as wind rushes by them, before turning to Ellie with a small smile tugging at her lips and continuing, louder,

"You know, there’s a small party tonight at Julia’s place. You should come. I think it’d be good for you to get out for once, ya hobbit."

Ellie looks up at Dina from the absolutely captivating spot she’s been scratching and staring at on her jeans for the past few minutes, expression like a deer caught in headlights,

"I don’t know… There’ll be too many people there, and… you know."

Dina nods.

"I do. But it’ll be a small thing - just some friends, hanging out, talking. No pressure. You’re gonna have to face those people eventually. It’s a small town. But, who knows, you might even enjoy yourself."

Ellie tugs her bottom lip into her mouth, mulling over the suggestion.

There are a lot of reasons why she should turn in down, a lot of people she doesn’t want to run into, pushing her to retreat to her casket-like abode. And then there’s the nagging question she finds herself wanting to ask again. Will she be there? But she already knows the answer to that, and she wasn’t lying when she said she wants to make things right.

"Okay," Ellie rubs her neck, "I’ll see if I can make it."

She figures that’s a start.

Dina closes the door gently in her wake, her outward listlessness a screen concealing the frantic liveliness of her mind as she plays through her conversation with Ellie.

She hovers to the living room and tosses her cap onto the table, letting her loud hair breathe. She runs a tired hand through the loose knots intertwining its dark curls and leans against the back of the couch, where she finds you and Lexi embracing each other.

Or, Alexis is embracing you at least. Dina thinks the way you’re positioned on the couch sort of resembles an archaic painting, with her clinging onto your waist and you stretching away from her grasp. Anyway, Alexis is snoring softly, and you're lying awake, arms crossed behind your head, as you stare up at Dina, giving her a tight-lipped smile.

When Dina walked in, her head was bursting with morsels of things she needed to tell you immediately, but they fade to static in her mind with Lexi’s presence, especially after she stirs awake and rubs the sleep from her eyes.

Dina isn’t fond of Alexis, in case it wasn’t already obvious.

After an awkward exchange of reserved ‘hey’s, she movesto the kitchen to heat up some food in pensive silence, watching it rotate in the yellow, whirring glow of the microwave.

Eventually, the outsider takes her leave, and Dina flumps onto the couch beside your now sat-up form, holding two plates of food and handing you the one in her right.

“Here. Because I know for a fact your dumb ass has not eaten.”

You snicker as you scarf down a particularly large spoonful.

“Yeah, I was being held down, dude.”

She watches you in awe and bursts into laughter at the sight of you absolutely wolfing down your pasta.

“Damn, bitch.”

Once your plate is hammered down to a scattering of crumbs, the two of you ease into petty conversation. Dina tells you she’s going on a date soon, and it isn’t so petty anymore, as you sit up and lean in.

“So, you were serious about ending things with Jesse, huh?”

“I’m done with him. For good. I just… What we had was nice but it fucking felt like we were on autopilot at that point, ya know?”

You nod; she sips her beer as the conversation wanes. Then, you notice the stiffness of her expression – the wistful twitch of her lip. You know what that means.

“What?”

“What?”

“What is it? You look like you’re dying to tell me something, so go on. What is it?”

Dina sighs and looks away and your stomach sinks, because you also know what that means. Your suspicions are only confirmed when she tells you she met up with Ellie today.

“How is she?” you ask. Your chest hurts with how hard your heart thumps.

“She’s doing better, I really think she’s going to be okay…”

You nod. There’s nothing else you want from her. Being clear with yourself, your mind never quite left the last conversation, did it?

Fucking Ellie, coming back and taking over your mind so easily.

A sick part of you hopes she thinks of you even more than you think of her.

You don’t know it, but you’re right. Painfully so.

Dina’s conflicted. She hesitates, because she's not sure if you’ll react badly but she can’t help letting it slip past her lips.

“I really think you should give her-”

“What, Dina? Give her what?”

Your eyes are wide and trained on her.

She sighs. Never mind.

“Look, I invited her to Julia’s party tonight.”

And now your eyes are narrowed at her, harsh and interrogative.

“Well, she can’t stay hidden away forever! She’s gotta get out eventually, and you’re gonna have to face her again, whether you like it or not…

I know it’s hard to trust her after what she did to you, and I’m not asking you to… I’m just saying… I know that you know the state she was in when she left… But she’s not there anymore… She was our best friend at one point and, when I spoke to her today, I really felt like she was serious about what she said… I just think, for old times’ sake, maybe… just, as friends, acquaintances even… give it a chance…”

It's getting really hard to keep up the pretense of disinterest – keep pretending this doesn't go as deep as it does.

You still love Ellie. You would never deny that, even in spite of the bullshit idea that you’re over her. And you do want to see her happy, to see her smile, to see that smile again. So, if there is even a slight chance of putting things right and moving forward, you’re willing to be friends with her, with the person who broke your heart. Just friends.

“…Okay.”

Ellie shows up to the party on a wing and a prayer a little while after it gets dark out.

She’s still on the fence about whether or not she regrets it.

Julia’s moved since she last visited. Granted, it’s been a fuck of a long time, but she likes the new place. It’s charming, or whatever. Or maybe it’s just open-plan. Ellie feels like an old fart for thinking about the room being open-plan; Ellie feels like Joel.

Then she remembers that that feeling alone would have sent her into a spiral just a year ago.

Regardless, the place is glowing gold, with soft lights, and a rhythmic, drunken buzz of chatter among the cliques of people. A lot less than she'd expected. It’s also slightly reminiscent of the get-togethers Maria used to set up, drawing Ellie’s mind back to the fact that she needs to go over to Maria and Tommy’s soon.

She feels like an alien again, standing outside of it all, like the twang of a snapped guitar string during a melody.

Also, Dina was right: things are different. Very different.

In fact, with a quick scan of the room alone, Ellie can’t make out any familiar faces, save for a few, which she often sees looking at her distastefully throughout the course of the evening.

It makes her visibly retract into the table, hunching her back slightly, but she is used to the whispers.

She’s gotten a lot of them in her time.

And now she’s sure she regrets coming, because it isn’t even a little fun if you’re the only one who isn’t the least bit drunk.

She notices a buzz in the pocket of her jeans and pats the space for her phone, pulling it out to see that it’s yet another missed call from Max.

It leads her to a lookthrough of masses of texts left on delivered and blocks of unanswered calls from him in her phone history.

With a sigh, she returns it to its place in her pocket. She might as well block him at this point. He’s not gonna be hearing from her for a long time.

“Ellie!”

She flinches upright and doesn’t scour the scene for long before her eyes land on the tall Asian asshole that has seemingly appeared out of thin air beside her. She’s secretly a lot more relieved than she should be at the sight of a friend.

“I swear to God, both of you love to fuckin’ torture me.”

He guffaws while she waits for him to calm down, unimpressed.

“Wait, both of us? Who’s both of us?”

“Who d’ya think?”

“Oh, right. You finally spoke to Dina then, huh?”

Ellie nods, taking a sip of the drink sitting in her Styrofoam cup.

“I swear to God, you two are perfect for each other.”

He raises his eyebrows,

“Actually…”

“What? Again?”

That’s one thing that has remained a constant no matter how much time has passed.

“I give it, like, two weeks. You’ll be back together.”

Jesse takes a deep breath,

“I don’t know, man, I think we’re done for good this time. Already been two weeks… Why? Did she say anything?”

Ellie shakes her head and Jesse leans back against the table defeatedly before peering into her cup.

“Whatcha got there?”

That should probably rub her the wrong way, but it doesn’t.

“Water.”

They’ve drifted apart, and it’s blatant. Of course it would be. Ellie’s had a lot of time to think, a lot of time to prepare, and she’s expected this, but the conversation drifts back into that same easy flow like it used to all those months back, speckled with laughter, even some of Ellie’s own. She can’t help but feel slightly more hopeful, slightly more human.

He asks about Max and songwriting, having caught a glimpse of a text, and she considers it.

She hasn’t considered music in an almost saddening amount of time but her notebook is scrawled with half-finished poetry, so she knows it’s begging to be let out of her, and the thought elicits serenity in her. Making songs without intent to release. No purpose, no pressure. Just for herself and whoever she chooses to make privy.

She thinks she just might start.

An hour or so later, Ellie, having floated around the place, aimlessly entering conversations with Dina and Jesse, leans against a counter top beside a stumpy drink cooler.

She’s been mulling over the option of leaving for a while since Dina somehow disappeared on her trek to the restroom and Jesse took off early. She eyes the factions spotting the empty space across the floor. Somewhere near the dining table, Ellie catches sight of you, and she tenses up almost instantly.

You look good. You look beautiful. You always look beautiful, like the first time she saw you all those years ago, and she couldn’t get her eyes off you from up on the stage. No matter how warped things became towards the end, those memories will always be paradisaical.

The only difference, she considers, with a tight feeling in her chest, is the glaringly large new factor lingering around you, Alexis.

If Ellie and you were still together, if Joel was still here, if she hadn’t lost her mind, if she had gotten better sooner, or if she had never left at all, that would be her.

But it’s not.

It’s like a physical reminder, standing across the room, of the cruel consequence. Of everything she lost, what she left behind.  A reminder that the two of you were never a given, that you weren’t just going to find your way back to each other, and that maybe it’s for the best, because Ellie hadn’t seen a smile so genuine on your face for the entire month leading up to her departure as the one you’re wearing now. It stirs something within her, and it makes her take a deep breath - decide to get a refill on her water.

With her head tilted down, brows knitted like a kicked dog, she walks over to the sink, before she crosses paths with a woman. She looks to be a few years younger than Ellie, a few inches smaller too, with frizzy hair like strands of hay, grinning at her.

"Excuse me," her voice quivers with hesitant excitement and Ellie dreads what’s yet to come.

"You're Ellie Williams, right? I’m such a big fan, I saw you perform in Radio City back in New York last year! You were, like, genuinely fucking amazing! Man, I can’t believe I’m actually seeing you in the flesh!"

Ellie tries to make her smile look less like nervous, eyes briefly meeting the woman's before darting away. Her capacity for fan interactions has significantly decreased since she came back from LA, which is not good since it was already pretty fucking awful. Especially now that her mood has flat lined. Her jaw tightens as she mutters curtly,

"Yeah, that's me.”

“Oh my god, okay, um, would you mind if we took a quick photo together?"

With a hardened expression, Ellie takes a sip from her cup before responding.

"Actually, I'm just here to chill. Not really up for photos."

She immediately feels a tinge of regret as she watches the woman’s shoulders slump and her eyes dim,

"Oh, right. Of course. Sorry to bother you."

As you meander through the course of people and furniture, Ellie doesn’t bother watching the woman retreat to her place among the others. She releases a shaky exhale, drumming her fingers against the rim of her cup, her gaze fixed on a distant point before you yank the stack drink cooler open beside her.

"Ever the charmer, I see."

Her lips part to respond, but you’re so near, and she wasn’t expecting you to even come close to approaching her, so she stumbles through her words like a dumbass, mentally punching herself in the face.

“Uh- Hey… Didn’t know you were coming…”

“Well, I’m here. In the flesh.”

Ellie blushes, her voice low,

“You heard all that?”

“Yep.”

“How bad was it?”

You chuckle,

“Yeah, pretty fucking bad, dude.”

She sighs, running a hand over her face,

“I swear I didn’t mean to be an asshole, it's just… I haven’t spoken to any fans in, like, three months, and I have lost all ability to.”

“Pfft, okay, Justin Bieber. You and your hoards of fangirls.”

Ellie chuckles lightly, the dimple in her cheek deepening as she huffs out a quiet,

“Shut up…

Look… I-uh… I’m sorry for showing up like that at your place, I didn’t know you were living there… and… and, I’m sorry for how the conversation went, I just- had a lot to say, and it came out weird, and I understand if you don’t wanna see me anymore. I understand if you want me to keep my distance… If that’s what you want, I’ll do it, but what I said, I meant it… And I know it isn't really not possible to go back to how things were, but if you’re willing to give me a chance, I really would like to make things right.”

“Ellie… I’m gonna be honest with you. When you left, it was… “

You take a deep breath, shaking your head,

“I felt like my life was over. And then I kept hearing about overdoses and rehab and-

I don’t know…

I’m not gonna pretend I stopped caring about you. I never stopped… but… I don’t know… I just… I don’t fucking know if anything can go back to the way it was…

I used to feel like I’d never be able to forgive you.”

When you look back at Ellie, she takes in a sharp breath of air and her expression shifts as she looks away from you with glassy eyes.

“But… I’d like to try.”

She releases the air slowly, nodding her head as the tears pool, swiped away by steadfast hands before they cascade down her freckled cheeks. It reminds you wipe away your own.

“We have to take it slow, just try to be friends again, okay?”

She’s nodding,

“Yeah, okay…”

For the first time in way too fucking long, you feel oddly liberated. It’s like a weight has been lifted off your soul, released in the form of a heavy sigh, deep and visceral.

When you lock eyes with Ellie, you feel overrun with the desire to hug her - beyond just a hug. It’s been too long.

Perhaps it’s the nostalgia laced through the air in the moment, all the memories of late nights at the bar under dim lights, with the world shrunk to just big enough for the two of you and your honest laughter and the song changing to something you remember, and you watch a few couples start swaying in their drunken leisure.

"Hey," you look over and speak softly, your voice almost drowned out by the music.

"Hey,"

"I used to love this song."

Ellie nods, her gaze flickering towards the center of the room, where a few couples had started swaying to the slow beat and an ember of recognition glows in her dilated pupils before she chuckles softly.

"Yeah, I remember."

"Wanna dance?"

You blindside her completely, but she only lets the shock stunt her into hesitation for a brief moment before nodding,

"Yeah… I’d like that."

But, like clockwork, Alexis jogs over, weaving through people with a drunken flush across her cheeks, eyes lighting up when she spots you. You know it shouldn't disappoint you, but it does, because you can already feel Ellie tensing beside you and it takes everything in you not to groan.

"Hey, there you are!"

Her arm finds its way around your waist but the touch feels more suffocating than anything. Again.

"I've been looking for you everywhere, babe," her eyes dart between you and Ellie.

"Oh, hey, Ellie," Alexis adds,

"It's good to see you."

Ellie forces a gulp down her constricted throat with a stiffened posture. Her fingers curl into her palm before she takes hold of her left ring and pinkie in her right hand, squeezing them gently to feel something.

The easy smile she’d been wearing moments ago discreetly faded, deforming into something more guarded, uncertain, and when she speaks, her voice is quieter now. You think it's almost too quiet.

"Yeah. You too."

There's a strained silence, and it makes the air thick, too thick to breathe in comfortably, as the three of you stand awkwardly, the music a distant thrum in the background. You can feel Ellie retreating into herself. An old, familiar insecurity is creeping back into her eyes.

Clueless, Alexis leans into you,

"Wanna dance, babe?"

What if you said no? You would really, really love to say no. You already asked Ellie, after all. You look over at her.

But, before you can respond, her voice cuts in, soft but laced with something you placed a long time ago. Her smile was tight and forced.

"I’m good. You two have fun. I was planning on leaving soon anyway.”

And even through the polite wording, you can feel a pin-prick edge, a subtle distance that hadn’t been there previously. Her eyes land on you for a split second and then back at Alexis, but it was hard to miss the look in them.

"Really? Why? You should stick around for a bit longer."

“No, really, I’d rather not. I don't wanna impose.”

You clench your jaw, placed on the outskirts of the conversation again. Deja vu washes over you as you think back to the abrupt cut-off of the last one.

She turns to you,

"I'll see you soon?"

You nod.

You aren’t blind. You've lived with Ellie, spent every waking moment with her for years and years worth of time; you can tell when she's jealous.

But she knows she doesn't have the right to feel hurt..

What really plagues you is the fact that it shouldn’t make you feel this way.

When she leaves, you say nothing.

Ellie drags her feet up the wooden staircase leading to the veranda, mind clouded with thoughts, good and bad, with nothing but the shrill cry cicadas and of the oak beneath the weight of her shoes to punctuate the night.

When she reaches the top step, a familiar shepherd dog leaps at her torso, barking enthusiastically with his tail wagging and his tongue out. It knocks the wind out of her, and she grabs onto the rail.

“Woah. Hey, Buddy!”

She chuckles down at him.

The name just stuck. And, she supposes that, since she named him, she’s stuck with him for good too. It’s not like anyone will be looking for him anyway; he’s a stray she’s been feeding since she got back, with matted fur speckled in dirt and a slightly more skeletal structure than most. Ellie doesn’t like to acknowledge fact that he sometimes reminds her of herself.

When he barks up at her, she scratches him behind the ear and watches him contort into her touch like it’s crack or something.

And then, he somehow manages to get inside when she opens the door, paws smacking against the laminate floors as he scuttles across them. Ellie appreciates company a lot more these days.

She collapses onto that fucking king-sized bed as soon as she reaches it and runs a hand through her scruffy auburn hair.

Her fingers run through a lot longer than they used to. She needs a haircut.

You used to cut her hair for her. She’d sit in her underwear, shivering on a stool in the bathroom with a towel over shoulders that she’d hold tight like a cap, and you’d laugh at her as you sifted through her locks for ones that looked too long, blowing the cuttings from her bangs off the bridge of her freckled nose,

The last time she was due for a cut, she did it herself. Craned her neck over a bin and swiped the cut hair off her shoulders before looking at the choppy shit-show sitting on her head in the mirror.

Maybe she’ll just go to a hairdresser this time around.

She sighs and looks around the room. This was the only one in the house still full of things, because you’d left all of her possessions neatly arranged around it. Leaned against the foot of the bed is a painting she’d started a little after Joel passed, unfinished. A thin layer of dust sits upon the cotton and acrylic surface of the canvas, blurring the image of your face.

There are a few of that sort scattered around the room. Ellie turns onto her side and lets the tears run quietly. No pounding heart or hyperventilating. Just crying.

It’s bittersweet but, after tonight, she feels a flicker of hope, a dangerous thing for someone with her past.

She’s grateful for the door you opened to her, grateful for anything you give her at all, because she’ll take it gladly, and make things right, piece by piece, slowly, regardless of how long it takes.

It’s the only way she can keep going, because she’s tired of the way things have been. She’s tired of running.

At this point, you’re about ten minutes away from Julia’s place. You left, still not uttering a word. You left, without telling Alexis, and trailed down the sidewalk, paved with streetlights ushering you on, with a hazy mind but a set goal.

When your journey ends, you’re at the pebble beach that you and Ellie used to come to together.

Because you want to remember what it felt like.

Because you want to feel Ellie.

Smooth stones roll off each other as you walk to the shore, causing a series of mini avalanches with each step you take.

You stand before the shoreline, watching the foam blockade rush up to your feet and then back again. Down the center of the water, there’s a ribbon of moonlight, luminescent ripples glinting in the water, a thousand diamonds.

You sigh, and pull out your phone, tapping Alexis’ number.

It’s probably time.

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 24

part 1 | part 23 | ao3

cw: alcohol, throwing up, brief reference to canonical character death

"Oh, my god!" Robin barks, nearly throwing herself off-balance again with the force of her laugh. "This is too good, man. You truly cannot escape your babysitting duties."

"Can I help you?" Max seethes.

Help him? Help him? "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She gestures to the guy she's holding onto, some fluffy-haired kid with a cut-off vest covered in safety pins that Steve sort of vaguely recognizes as one of Eddie's friends. Oh, shit. Is Eddie here finally? Has he seen him?

"Wait, where's Lucas?" Steve asks.

"Who cares?" she bites back.

The guy gives a nervous chuckle and loosens his grip on her waist. "Uh-h. Did you say babysitter?"

"He's not actually, Jesus. I'm fourteen; I don't need a babysitter. And he was just leaving, anyway, right?"

Her glare feels like a slap. Girl's got daggers in her eyes, holy shit. It's like she's hoping some of El's powers magically transferred to her; like she's picturing him flying ten feet into the air and landing with a splat on the far side of the concrete, and he doesn't need this. He did not come out tonight to be bullied by a teenager. "Okay, that's it, I'm taking—"

"—me to the punch bowl!" Robin interrupts, putting her hands on Steve's chest to stop him from grabbing Max and hauling her back to the car.

"Robin, what—?"

"Yep!" She shoves him hard, pushing him to the edge of the dance floor. "Silly me, just dying of thirst, ha ha. Okay, cool, see you both later!"

—

"What the hell was that?" Steve demands when they're safely on the far side of the pavilion.

"An intervention."

Oh, my god. May he never hear the word 'intervention' again in his life.

"Un-ruffle your Mother Hen feathers for two seconds and think, would you? One: it would look really, really, seriously weird for you to be seen dragging a dead jock's kid sister kicking and screaming to your car."

A dead jock’s kid sister. Jesus, tipsy Robin has no tact.

"Two: you said we were going to go out and have fun and get, and I quote, 'very drunk.' Take your babysitter hat off for one night. She's a high schooler, and this is a high school party."

"Yeah, I know," he sulks. Doesn't need the reminder that he's technically past the age limit.

"Okay, so then let her have fun! It's not like you weren't out drinking and smoking by her age."

'I'm always so right about everything. I'm, like, cosmically correct.' Goddammit. Steve needs another drink. "I just don't want her to do anything dumb and get hurt."

"She won't. We can just, like, keep an eye on her from a distance, right? Let her come to us if she needs anything."

"So we should just act like your parents?" Steve snorts.

"My parents are amazing, thank you!"

"Your mom offered me mushroom tea once."

"Like I said: amazing."

Steve huffs a laugh, flips his hair out of his eyes and snags a handful of tortilla chips. "Okay," he says around a crunchy bite, "so what's the third thing?"

"Third thing?" Robin asks. She’s not even looking at him anymore, her eyes eager and distracted as she scans the crowd.

"You're biting your lip weird, there's clearly a third thing."

She turns to him, and the smile springs free from its containment, spreading all over her flushed, ecstatic face. "Vickie just showed up."

—

Steve’s hammered.

Whoops.

Didn’t mean to do it; feels a little bad about it as he tips his head up to the sky and all the stars go raining in bright streaks across his vision. Reminds him of the ceiling at Starcourt, nauseous and spinning under a swirl of bright fluorescence. He hopes Rob’s flirting is going well.

He meant to get politely drunk.

A socially appropriate amount.

But then Robin ran off to flirt with Vickie, and Steve was doing his best to just lay low, steer clear of Max and maybe find a way to casually run into Eddie if he could find him, when he spotted the girl he went on that disaster of a date with instead and realized his options were either: stay there by the beer coolers while she came over with her new date and subjected him to the most painful small talk of his life, or retreat to the dark edges of the party with as much booze as he could carry, so.

He's slumped on top of a picnic bench downwind of the bonfire, bad ear ringing, belly full to bursting, trying to remember when one beer became… more than one beer.

Five?

Six, maybe?

Fuck.

“‘M gonna puke,” he confesses to the splintered wood beneath his feet; to the pine bough overhead, the smoky fire at his back.

“Wow,” someone says, an amused lilt to their tone, and Steve knows that voice, he—

Oh, no.

Ohhhh, no.

Now? Really?

Steve whips his head around, opens his mouth to ask ‘Eddie?’ and barfs all over his shoes.

—

part 25

tag list part 1 below the cut, let me know if you want me to add you tomorrow (21+ only, please confirm your age if you're asking to be tagged)

@a-little-unsteddie @ahsokatanoss @aliea82 @alyelf @anne-bennett-cosplayer @aol19 @awolfstudio @bambibiest @bananahoneycomb @bookbinderbitch @bronwenmarie @cheonsazu @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @courtjestermunson @cuips-not-cute @dauntlessdiva @dawners @dontwasteyourchances @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple @eriquin @estrellami-1 @fandomfix8 @gregre369 @griefabyss69 @grtwdsmwhr @hallucinatedjosten @hellion-child @hiimlevi @honoragreyskull @hotluncheddie @jackiemonroe5512 @kas-eddie-munson @kingelyx @lifeisacrisis @littlebluejane @marvel-ous-m @melonmochi @messrs-weasley @milklechee @mrsjellymunson @mugloversonly @munsonslure @nburkhardt @nerdyglassescheeseychick @notsopersonalcharlie @novelnovella @nuggies4life @phoenixtheone @questionablequeeries @runninriot

[partycatty]

older!johnny cage > overheard

you're caught in the act of swooning over your boss

notes: i'm not even fuckin playing i just woke up from my nap in a cold sweat with this idea haunting my mind so here i am. i truly honestly genuinely cannot stop thinking about dilf johnny and his thick fucking arms and how much i want him to [REDACTED]

[ masterlist ]

• during your break from training, you managed to squeeze in a meal break with one of your closest friends. it was just the two of you, laughing and for once breaking the stoicism implanted into your demeanors from training ruthlessly.

• "jesus, commander cage really kicked our asses today," your friend whined, rolling her shoulder. "i get we're fighting against demons and elementals, but did we really need to run twenty miles?"

• "it wasn't all bad," you shrug, poking at your food. "we've done worse, i feel."

• "oh hush, you had the time of your life," your friend groaned, lightly pushing into your shoulder with a smirk. "you and johnny cage got to run beside each other in formation." your friend was sure to say his name in an announcer voice, wiggling her fingers as she pretended to read a large sign.

• you huff, planting a fist on the table as you try to conceal your embarrassment with faux anger. "oh my god shut up..."

• your mind wanders to earlier in the day. johnny decided to wear only a tank top instead of a long sleeve with a vest, giving you a delicious view of his arms as they pumped during the run. while you two didn't talk, he shared panting encouragements by your side, telling you you were doing so good and how much further you had left. it made running feel almost impossible as each word and grunt knocked the wind from you.

• "jesus, look at you," your friend laughs at your dreamy expression as you replay the memory. "you're down bad, girl, anyone and their mother could tell."

• "is it that obvious?" you murmur, burying your face with your hands. "i'm doomed."

• "nah, you might have a shot," she insists, pulling your hands from your face. "he might be into younger women, most celebrities are."

• "but he's not just a celebrity, he's our superior," you whine, rolling your head back. "i just watch his movies and pretend i'm the love interest."

• "oh, it's bad bad," she laughs, looking past you for a moment. her smile falters.

• "can you blame me? ugh," you rake a hand through your hair. "he's all muscle, he could just pick me up and snap me like a twig! normally i'd settle for height alone but holy fuck he's built like a brick fucking wall!"

• your friend falls silent.

• "and don't even get me started on his age," you point an accusatory finger. "he is 50 something and so fucking fine i can't even bring myself to focus on literally anything ever. i watched some of his old movies, and he literally aged like the finest fucking wine any vineyard has ever even dreamed of making! thank god his daughter is the commander because if he stood around and told me what to do i'd behave so much like a dog it would embarrass me. he is the god damn devil in disguise and i sure a shit don't have a single chance of him even looking in my direction with any more than a smile because at the end of the day i'm just a sad little recruit crushing on a guy who probably has a massive di—"

• "i'm fifty-nine," you hear a low, horrifyingly familiar voice in your ear. you can't even bring yourself to turn around, smile dropping and eyes widening. the only thing you can bring yourself to do is stare across the table at your friend, who's as equally still. maybe if you were still enough, he wouldn't see you. like a dinosaur.

• "lieutenant," you breathe out after a long silence, drunk on the smell of his cologne. "we were just... t-talking about you."

• "oh yeah?" his voice is rumbly, a teasing inflection making you want to burst out in tears. you had a faint suspicion he was behind you the entire time, something he confirmed before you could muster the strength to speak. "sounded more like it was just you."

• "well," you wonder if you can outrun him, stammering as you try to talk yourself out of this. "you know..."

• you finally get the courage to spin in your chair, turning around to face him. he's towering over your sitting form, a shit-eating smirk on his lips.

• "i'm sorry, sir, i'll... i'll do extra push-ups, i'll go overtime on training, scrub the toilets, anything to—"

• he holds a hand up, waving it away as he shakes his head slowly.

• "don't stress it," he stands up straight, crossing his arms. oh my god his arms. "but, uh... just a word, in my office, when you have the chance." you almost miss the wink he sends at you, but you caught it just as he spun on his heel and walked out, a cocky sway to his hips.

• you spin back around, slack jawed at your friend, who's red from holding in her scream of excitement.

• "he's totally gonna bang you on his desk," she finally spits out, covering her mouth immediately after. you just lower your head, hitting it against the table in defeat.

• who knows what he's gonna do to you in his office?

[123puppy]

I'd like to thank this precious video for giving me the mental image of Alastor's suffering~

-------

Cute.

It's a word Lucifer cannot seem to stop thinking about when it comes to The Radio Demon. For this, it's beyond his expectations. And a beautiful discovery he never thought possible.

Alastor lays flat on his back, arms barely staying near his head as he struggles to contain, and fail, the giggles that spill from between his teeth, face twisted into the sheets in a futile attempt to hide, flustered.

He forgoes his red-striped coat, sleeves rolled up along with the bottom hem of his light red shirt exposing his stomach and small waist, white strips almost zig-zagging his ashen skin.

A choked sound comes out of the man, unable to keep one of his arms in place, bringing said arm down to cover his mouth, grin growing bigger with a wobbly edge as his eyes pop open.

Long black claws dance gently over Alastor's lower tummy. It's been like this for over a minute, but Alastor is falling apart at the seams at the display, his other arm dragging itself down, red claws easily slicing through the crimson sheets in a slow 'rrrrRRRiiiip' and finding itself over his other hand to stop the giggles as they reach a slightly higher pitch, accompanied by a ringing, pitched with distressed deer noises.

Lucifer has a smile on his own face as he continues to tease the deer with no hope of stopping unless the sinner voices it. He's praying Alastor doesn't end it too soon, because for all that is holy, this has got to be the cutest and wholesome moment he's seen since Charlie's birth.

Another minute goes by. It could have been eons for all Al knows.

The sinner cannot keep still the longer this goes on. One long leg pulls itself up and scrapes along the sheets as he fights to keep from squirming about. But Lucifer, the little shit, has been discreetly pushing his shirt up little by little, then he would drag his nails down back to where they started. The sporadic reaction is a feat, the younger man fighting his instinct to curl forward even when the Angel pressed the pads of fingers into his hips. The tears welling within the corners of his eyes don't give him hope of enduring this much longer.

Alastor had been holding out for as long as he could, to the point that his death mark began to glow, until he broke when one of his lowest ribs gets grazed.

He slams his elbows down and twists his body onto its side, ears flat against his skull, "That's enough!" His voice cracks. His actual voice, no filters. He yelps when a devilish finger finds his belly button and twists away, choking back a squeal, "LUCIFER!"

Lucifer pulls his hands back, "I'm done I'm done!" He laughs, "Still, that was a lot of fun, and your skin, or fur, is so soft," He cages Alastor and grins at the withering look the demon gives him but doesn't miss how he tensed at being 'trapped'.

"Fuck off."

Lucifer raised his hands in mock surrender, laughing, "Not my fault you're sensitive. I didn't go full Tickle Monster on you like I do with Charlie." He wiggles his fingers over Alastor and the demon flinched, slapping his hands away.

Blood-red eyes turn into dials, locked on the smaller man, grin exposing all his teeth.

"I haven't forgotten how sensitive you are, Your Highness."

"Now let's not get ahead of ourselves-" Lucifer shrieks as Alastor pounces.

[pixiecaps]

Spiderbit moments at the second debate

Roier: He’s doing like shit in this debate.

BBH: WHAT?

Cellbit: Oh is he?

Roier: Oh shit, oh shit.

BBH: What the fudge. You told me I was doing good earlier-

Roier: That’s only my opinion. That’s not facts, you know?

BBH: Ohh that’s only your opinion.

Cellbit: That actually is the only opinion that matters, you know? But well anyway…

Roier: Oh shit.

BBH: Of course, you would say that. Of course, you would say that.

Cellbit: Yeah! He’s the smartest one on the island, man!

-

(Cinematic with debate instructions playing)

Cellbit: I like the soundtrack!

Roier: I like youu!

Cellbit: Aww.

Roier: Aw. Heh.

-

Fit: Cellbit you rang in so you have the floor.

Cellbit: Okay. Thank you.

(Roier starts hollering for Cellbit)

(Cellbit laughs and continues what he was saying)

-

Mike: What’s happening over there?

Roier: They’re hitting me! They’re hitting me!

(Cucurucho shoots Roier and he whines in pain)

Cellbit: AY AY! (Runs up to Roier and stands in front of him protectively) Stop hitting my husband, man, what the fuck!

Roier: TELL HIM! TELL HIM!

Cellbit: Stop hitting my husband, man. What’s wrong with you? (Cucurucho hits Cellbit) Yeah, you can hit me but you cannot hit him.

Roier: (Defensively) AY AY! (Starts barking at Cucurucho)

Cellbit: Stop. Stop. Chill.

(Cucurucho points his gun at Cellbit)

Cellbit: Yeah, you can shoot me. I don’t give a fuck just don’t mess with him.

(Roier keeps barking)

-

Forever: So Cellbit-

Cellbit: Yes?

Forever: -You are beautiful.

Roier: HOLY SHIT! I AGREE! I AGREE!

Cellbit: (Laughs) Ay! I’m married! Come on, I’m married! Ay, no, no. (Goes up to Roier) My heart is yours.

Roier: Ooh. My heart is yours as well.

Cellbit: Yours. Yours.

Forever: Oh I’m not saying that kind of beautiful. I’m just saying that-

Roier: No, no, I agree. Cellbit is beautiful, just that!

-

(Cellbit stares at Roier for a while before he crouches to catch his attention. Roier turns and they stare at each other. Roier plays music and they start nodding at each other)

[ghostingink]

My mafuemu brain cannot not get the image of emu being the first person to make mafuyu laugh like uncontrollably out of my head

Like I’m thinking maybe just so happens that mafuyu is watching one of the night shows or something and idk some stunt emu does goes wrong but in a funny way no harm really done but falls like flat on her face in front of mafuyu and she just bursts out laughing and cannot stop

And that like shocks Emu and first cause like always mafuyu hasn’t realised what she’s just done but like this is better than getting a kiss from her cause “HOLY SHIT I MADE HER ACTUALLY SMILE. NOT JUST THAT FUCKING LAUGH. UNCONTROLLABLY”

[zwoftt]

holy shit dog. episode fucking 98.

so what’s the thoughts guys ???

where do you guys think dorym is gonna go in ep99?? any predictions? since we all thought we’d see a pretty emotional scene between them during dorian’s dominox influence and then we DIDNT…. (to be fair it wasn’t long like chetney’s anyway) i’m kinda now trying to predict things a bit differently …

though! the two little dorym scenes this episode are not unnoticed at all!!!! - orym immediately asking if dorian was okay after he’s flashed back into reality, and continues to try and comfort dorian afterwards “it’s not real.” and the worried expression orym makes when dorian deflects everybody’s help and pries the skeleton open “DONT TOUCH ME! LET ME DO THIS.” holy FUCK robbie daymond acting. it’s so JUICY. and then also later when dorian knocks on the door, to which orym does a little face palm (they are married, your honor. husband behavior.) not to mention all the facial expression reactions to the flirting between braius and dorian/braius and orym… both liam and robbie looked like they wanted to say something, but just laughed instead when it happened to each other’s characters. ALSO ALSO ORYM VERY CLEARLY AVOIDING THE QUESTION IF HES SINGLE OR NOT!!!! AGH? orym “it’s complicated” of the air ashari???!!

we might see a scene later on, like orym confronts dorian about the vision during a long rest or something… but yeah?? ITS SCARY. STOP IT CR. STOP BEING UNPREDICTABLE.

but the insider information about dorian’s other half of personality is so great this episode. you have the charming, humble dorian… and then you have the stage fright, overwhelmed, stressed out, self-loathing dorian. — “YOU’RE A BARD! YOU’RE A BARD!” dorian is SOO DEEP and i cannot wait for more of his story.

and also with the new cowman addition... do you guys think sam would have his character purposely flirt with all of them purely to cause drama within the ships? for as chaotic as sam is….

anyway doomseed is fucking hot asf and him n dorian are going to be causing immense bardic ruin in the coming episode; that’s about all i can predict. dorian “we’re losers baby” storm hes so silly i love him.

but hey what about you guys??? whatcha think??? LET ME KNOW !!! also what the fuck was that endcard about ‘downfall’ episodes? that’s not going to change when bells hells episode 99 comes out (next thursday) right??? am i tweaking? WHEN DOES THE NEXT BELLS HELLS EPISODE DROP?

[txtmetonight]

Cheers ✆

call summary ⋆ ★ Cheers to the love who walks down the aisle...and cheers to himself, the lover

pairing *. * Han Jisung x Fem! Reader

genre⋆ ★ Angst, Fluff

warnings *. Maybe grammar?

call duration⋆ ★ 1k

a/n*. * I think I'm dying 😨😨😨😨 (I js have a cold)

taglist ⋆ ★ @kflixnet

Jisung has never known exactly where he would end up–what he would be doing in the future. It was all a gamble on his choices. From his classes in high school to his choice of universities that he was able to receive a letter back from; he just closed his eyes, muttered a few words under his breath, and practically stabbed his options with a pen. His excuse? He was rather indecisive and lazy–he thought that was pretty understandable.

But one thing that he had an absolute say in–something that he would never ever let his stupid old pen pick for him…was you. Being with you. Cherishing you. Adoring you.

And his reason for that–why it was so different compared to his other choices, was because it’s easy. Loving you is easy.

You hold the light in his eyes and the crinkles near his cheeks–the ones that make him really squint because he cannot stop smiling with you–at you. The beat of his heart thunders in his ears a lovely melody that plays on repeat because he swoons. Swoons so hard that he falls.

All metamorphically of course, in all of the senses except for that one time when he slipped down a whole set of stairs in middle school because he couldn’t stop looking at you as you both walked side by side to get to your next class together, for the first time. To where he gained a bruise, he also found who he thought was the love of his life.

He still does for that matter; it’s never changed nor wavered once.

Love is a strange word in his opinion, the definition given to the word doesn’t match. Jisung thinks that it’s more complicated–more intricate and just so delicate that you can’t help but nurse it in your heart and let it thrive in your veins.

The feelings he experiences for you are so much deeper than love that it hurts it. To where you exist in him, there’s a soft, feather like sensation that wraps around him whole, slowly blanketing him with your hands–your presence. He wants all of you–the feelings of you, the idea of you.

He yearns with chains on his hands, weights that keep his hands to the ground, going against his wish to rub at your cheeks, pad his thumb just at the corner of your lips where you’ll smile and have your eyes gleam, pull your ears gently so they turn a bit red and poke the tip of your nose where you’ll scrunch them from the soft tickle. God, he loves you so fucking much.

And as Jisung stands in a fitted suit, with his heart in his throat and near the altar–he finds it so that he still feels the same. Finds that you’re still so stunning since the first time he’s ever laid eyes on you and that you still hold that sweet laugh that practically melts him from the inside out.

You still even give him that puppy pout whenever you want anything from him and he has to act all disgusted even though he would give you the whole world if you asked. He could ramble on for eternity if asked about you.

But even more–even more dear to him is that after all these years, you’ve still stayed by his side. And he’s stayed by yours, too.

A soft melody chimes and Jisung’s eyes already start to well–it’s fucking blurry and he doesn’t want to miss your entrance so he quickly wipes them away. His friends laugh at him and he weakly chuckles along too, a little embarrassed. His cheeks are starting to become flushed–it’s bad.

But then when the doors finally snap open, capturing everyone’s attention…Jisung can’t breathe anymore–cause holy shit! His eyes widen, and his mouth gapes as you come out in a white dress, so…so beautiful and there’s a small smile that teases on your lips. But he can see that it wobbles a little.

He’s falling in love again with you and finds himself wanting to for the rest of his life. Every second. Every breath.

When you finally raise your head and look at him, Jisung can’t help but burst out into tears. It’s hot and sticky on his face and he’s sure that he looks horrible, but he can’t stop. His heart aches so bad in its cavity, throbbing against his ribs.

He loves you so so so much–he wants to say it to you a million times. His tongue utters it by his teeth, clacking by it as his jaw clenches when you give him a watering grin with tearing eyes. And underneath them, he recognizes the love that you store.

Love that wasn’t for Jisung. Love for someone else. And as you walk past him, to meet your soon-to-be husband at the altar, he shatters internally.

He always knew that the man on the opposite side of you had fancied you for so long but Jisung knows that he will never adore you like he does–he has never liked you as long as Jisung has.

Whatever your fiancé feels for you, he feels it ten times more–a thousand times more. And it’s just not fair–he wants to throw a tantrum like a petulant toddler.

But he just can’t. Because his best friend stands there. Chan stands, holding your hands.

And Jisung stands as the best man, right next to him, where he can see every little flick of your expression. The heart that you pour into your vows is shown on your lips, the way that you tremble when you say “I love you, Channie. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

Jisung is so fucking close, yet so far. It hurts him, like a stab. But as he watches you be so happy in love with his friend; he realizes that he would suffer for lifetimes on again for you. Even if Chan was your soulmate in every universe, he would always sit by the sidelines. For who is Jisung without you? It’s a question that he ponders upon at night, sobbing into his pillow, biting at his lips, tearing them apart.

You bring Chan into a kiss first (Jisung has to stop himself from imagining that it was him instead, taking your lips) and everyone cheers. He does too, but for different reasons. He cheers because he loves you. And always will. Even though you’re not his.

[urhoneycombwitch]

U just haaaaad to go and make another eddie for me to be feral over didn’t you? I need to know everything about roommate eddie pls 🤲🏻

IM IN LOVE W HIM TOO. thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak on it bc I have an origin story for roommate!Eddie with nowhere to go… until now 😈 here’s my other blurb of him btw linking in case others wanna see!! 🫶

so in this nebulous roommates!au, I’m imagining you’re besties with Robin. Eddie is besties with Steve. and of course since Robin and Steve are Ultimate Besties (in every world. in every universe.) they plot to get their respective Others together somehow. like, you’re offbeat and fun and so is Eddie!! should work out great right?

wrong. u and Eddie just don’t hit it off. you think he’s too loud and brash and godforbid he gets more than one beer in him ‘cuz he’ll be pulling you to the dance floor or making his own and embarrassing the everloving shit out of you. and he thinks you need to loosen up and get out of your head, which he decides is his new job that he takes VERY seriously.

eventually Steve and Robin stop trying to force it and yours and Eddie’s relationship just turns into casual frenemies. (a la Harry Met Sally) like, ah yes, You Again. the best friend of my best friend’s best friend 😒 you’ll hang out casually at various house parties and bars but always with a buffer, otherwise you’ll be at each other’s necks with (mostly) playful arguments and hot debates.

and it seems CRAZY at first that you’re gonna live in the same space but holy shit rent is so expensive in the Big City where you all moved to and it mind as well be with someone you know. you’re really worried about the set up but Eddie turns out to be real responsible with monthly payments and has a general respect for shared spaces (his own room is a black hole and it baffles you that he manages to have so many successful one night stands in that hell pit but you’re never in there so who cares.) plus it helps to have a man around fr, to spook the landlord into doing his job 👹 and also to fix things! and to give you lifts to work! and share snack duty! you find a rhythm and it’s great.

the night that he falls for you tho? you’re at group karaoke 3-shots deep and pick a cheesy Beatles song just to piss him off. simpering over your shoulder while you croon into the microphone, giving him a one-man-show that you hope triggers an earworm and irritates for days to come 💖 but actually he’s gripping his beer for dear life on the nearby barstool getting hit with the sickening realization of being in love. like oh fuck, this is bad. I cannot be falling for my pal’s pal. whom I also live with. what a fucking mess.

the night you fall for him? a second date goes sideways and you have no one else to call but Eddie. he fully leaves the solo gig he was about to play because you sounded so upset over the phone (doesn’t tell u that, tho!) and he could be a total asshole about it when he picks you up on the street corner but he absolutely isn’t. chews out your date, tho, with a viciousness that both delights and scares you. makes you a proper meal at home and wraps a strong arm around you on the couch and watches your favorite romcom and laughs at all the parts you laugh at. and you’re pressed up all close, wheels spinning in ur brain, unknowingly going through the exact same thought process Eddie had about a month earlier. Oh No. He’s My Bestie. Whom I Live With. This Cannot Possibly End Well.

aaaaand that about brings us up to canon speed, thus far! you and Eddie date around and have sex in your shared apartment but NOT with each other and if sometimes you get off to the sounds he makes when he’s fucking someone else and if sometimes he gets off to the noises of you in the shower well … no one’s business 🙂‍↔️

like why are u even asking about something soooo personal. like Robin you don’t get it it’s not like that I just wanna be near him all the time. that’s normal and what friends do. no, Steve, you’re not listening, we look at each other’s nudes as buddies. sorry you don’t understand how friendships work 🙄

(Robin and Steve have to set up weekly debriefs to compare notes and make sure they’re not going fucking crazy)

[moxfirefly]

you've unleashed something with this and you already know I want my leader in blue going feral for reader

[ REMIND ] for our muses to have passionate sex meant to remind one party who they belong to.

❝ i want everyone here to see that you’re mine. ❞

❝ are they making you uncomfortable? i can do something about it. ❞

❝ you wanna lose a limb? beat it, fucker. ❞

Tried to stay in the limit, can't wait to see you work your magic!!

Friend you never disappoint 👌

Let’s do this,

Rated Explicit (18+ only)

“Once I start, I cannot stop myself”

His peripheral alerted him immediately.

Because Leonardo always had some part of him keyed into your moods and their various shifts.

Right now he could tell you were bothered, annoyed.

Naturally once he saw the reason for said annoyance he could empathize.

Vern Fenwick wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea.

Yours and Leo’s thing had started a few months back and the two of you had opted to keep a low profile. So of course Vern didn’t know which meant he thought he had the go ahead to pathetically flirt with you.

And that little nugget of information had nested within Leo’s stomach in the worst of ways. The basket ball game felt like a thing of the past now, Casey and Raph’s bantering far away. Mikey and April’s hushed laughter white noise, Splinters even breaths as he meditated a simple hum.

He doesn’t quite remember getting up from the couch, his large frame standing at full height had been your alert. Your eyes going back and forth between his approaching steps and Vern’s close proximity.

Something screamed in the back of your mind the second that Leo was behind Vern. All you could envision was the large terrapin suplexing the Falcon into the eighth level of hell.

“So how about it? You and me, a flight to the vineyard and a bottle of rosé?” Vern’s smile faltered the second he felt a large none human hand fall on his shoulder. There was a little jump but soon a sigh of relief. He must’ve thought Leo was Raph, who wasn’t too fond of him either.

“Hey Leo-oomph!”

Vern was not so gently shoved behind him. Leo’s she’ll serving a shield for privacy.

In a hushed whisper he simply asked, “is he making you uncomfortable?” And Christ, Leo had never looked this serious before. Not just serious but downright mad.

“Hey Blue, I was in the middle of something here with Y/n, you mind?” Vern’s eyeroll could be heard more than seen.

You huffed at his words, to which Leo added.

“I can do something about it”

Stern. Truthful. A vein on his forearm more evident as he fisted his hands.

You didn’t want conflict, any moment now everyone would look over and nothing about this screamed ‘friendly banter.’

But Vern naturally had to fuck things up further.

You didn’t hear it, Leo’s large frame was in the way but the way his eyes widened and the way he turned to face Vern was very telling.

“Run that by me again” Leo’s voice was in what everyone joked as ‘leader mode.’

Vern audibly gulped and whispered closer to Leo.

“I said I’m trying to get something going here with Y/n, be a pal and let me close the deal here will ya?” there was a little scoff and laugh as if trying to keep his cool but that quickly went to shit when Leo leaned down closer to Vern’s face.

“You wanna lose a limb?” Was the simple question Leo posed.

“E-excuse me?” Vern visibly shrunk.

“You have two working ears, you heard me” whatever looked Leo was casting at Vern had the man turning pale as a sheet of paper. You felt a small exhilarating rush.

“Well of course not, no-“

“Beat it, fucker”

Oh.

Oh shit.

It dawned on Vern, the warning bells rang and before he could come to the conclusion to what really was going on here, he had scurried off to the living room like a robot.

“Holy shit Leo-“ Before you could finish your sentence his lips had found yours. A three finger grip on the back of your neck kept you in place as he kissed with every intention of everyone finally knowing.

When he released you, the gang (sans Splinter who was deep in meditation) was staring and blinking. Your nervous smile faltered when Leo grabbed your hand and pulled you in direction of his room.

You didn’t miss Mikey’s “good for them” as the door closed.

“Jesus is it spring or are you really this upset?” You smiled and laughed nervously some more once Leo backed you up against the wall.

“No, but if I ever see anybody talk to you like that, I’m going to break their legs” His fingers found the button of your jeans, he undid it and knelt to roll the fabric down vast your knees. Your face heated, pink and red and hot at the sight of his hands giving your underwear the same treatment.

“Leo everyone’s here, they’ll-“

“I want everyone here to see that you’re mine”

The words knocked the air out of you.

Before you could fathom an excuse he used stuck a digit into his mouth and wet the appendage. He found your clit and drew circles. Knees buckling and lips twitching you forgot what sentence you were creating. “I’m going to cover you head to toe in marks…” He stood back up, finger never seizing its movements.

“When you leave this room, you’re leaving smelling of me, on you, in you…” A finger slipped inside of you, thumbs continuing to circle your clit. The action made your hands shoot out to grab at his plastron. “Oh f-fuuuck” You muttered out, a hand slipped to grab his wrist.

Leo’s other hand cupped you’re face, a loving stroke across your lips made another gush of heat pool at his knuckle.

He smiled.

“Please-oh-Leo!” You squeaked as he turned you around and pressed you against the wall.

“Everyday, if I have to remind everyone everyday from now on, I will” His teeth found your shoulder and sunk, hard enough to see the indentations of his teeth on the flesh. “Is that a pro-promise?” You smiled against the concrete wall, stuck out your rear and relished the growl like churr that escaped him.

The rustle of clothes made you bite your lip.

You felt him, inch by excruciating inch.

Felt the desperate need to claim you overtake him as he wrapped an arm around your waist and fucked you.

His mouth found your neck and sucked a bruise onto it, hips rhythmically slapping against your rear. The finger that had been rubbing teasing circles was now in your mouth. Your eyes fluttered, palms against the cold concrete, his heated body a delightful contrast.

He muttered praises at your ear, the ones that with each syllable made you stand on your tippy toes as that familiar pressure overtook. He boxed you against that wall, his massive body pressing up against you wantonly, deliberately, with every intention of your orgasm bouncing off of the concrete against his very soul.

It was a rush, everything weightless and then so very heavy when it hit you. You bit down on his finger and felt your bones turn to jelly as he held you through it. The shaking alone made Leo smirk as he continue to thrust, to push as much of his essence into you. Your drool dribbled down his finger, his own seed doing the very same down your inner thighs.

You felt your world spin as his teeth found another spot on your shoulder.

[stevesjockstrap]

kinktober last day Steve/Eddie

& voice kink

read on ao3

MDNI - rated E - modern setting, drunk texting, dirty talk

He was an idiot. A complete and utter menace to himself. Why hadn’t he let Robin take his phone or change the password last night? He had honestly thought if he was that blackout drunk he would’ve just come home and passed out. But no. 

Steve stopped scrolling through all the notifications on his phone and went to make coffee. After a few sips he sighed and called Robin. Hopefully there wasn’t more to the story. 

“Hello?” A deep voice answered and he dropped his phone. 

“Oh fuck. Huh?“ He was looking at Robin's name, but who was this? Putting the phone back up to his ear, he could only stutter, “I-I’m sorry, I’m confused I guess. I was trying to call someone else.”

“Well at least I know your phone does make calls,” he mused. This stranger’s voice was already doing things to him. It was so deep and rumbly and he could almost picture the person curled up in bed. Maybe with his shirt off. 

“I’m really sorry, I’m trying to catch up on what my drunk self decided to do last night,” he winced. “I, um, apparently saved your number under my best friend’s name, for starters.”

The man chuckled and Steve’s dick stirred in his boxers. He was so fucked. “That does explain some things, at least on my end. How about you do some catching up and call me later? If you want. And stop apologizing, sweetheart.” The endearment with the rich silky voice had him holding back a moan. 

“O-okay. Um, could you tell me your name? Please?”

The man groaned and Steve heard rustling which had him imagining the man repositioning on his bed. Oh shit. “So polite now, huh? I’m Eddie. Start on Bumble, for your research.” He snorted and Steve winced. 

“Oh man, it’s going to be bad, isn’t it?” Steve’s face flushed and he was glad this stranger couldn’t see him.

“Not the worst drunken flirting I’ve been a part of, promise. Now,” Eddie yawned. “I’m going to go back to sleep I think. Some hot guy had me up late last night. Hopefully he’ll call me back, though.” Steve couldn’t hold back the whimper as Eddie apparently ramped up his flirting voice and his knees almost buckled. 

“Oh my god,” he breathed. “Uhhh yeah, I’m going to do that. Both of those things. Fuck.”

Eddie huffed a laugh and purred, “Talk to you later, Stevie,” before he hung up. 

“Holy. Fucking. Shit.” 

Steve immediately went to the Bumble app and gasped. He had a ton of new matches and messages. Matches that were men. He’d never made the change to his dating app when he’d allowed himself to face that part of him. Probably for this reason. 

But in the mess of rude and gross messages and messages that were just emojis or asking for his number, he found one that said Eddie. 

“Holy shit,” he gasped. Eddie was fucking gorgeous. He scrolled through his pictures and each one was better than the last. Long dark curly hair, sometimes twisted up on the top of his head with little bits pulled out to taunt him. Huge brown eyes with ridiculous eye lashes, the most delicious lips he’d ever seen. Steve never really went for the rock and roll look but apparently he was into it when it looked this good. The shredded jeans with a cropped band tee really converted him. 

There were a few prompts where Eddie had used the voice feature and Steve played the first one. 

Eddie’s caramel voice resounded in his tiny kitchen and he gasped again. “I get way too excited about finding the perfect album in a dusty pile in the corner of an antique shop. Or when someone wants to watch Lord of the Rings with me.” There was another little aggravating chuckle and Steve didn’t hold back the moan.

“This cannot be real.” Steve made himself go back to the beginning of the messages, knowing it was going to be embarrassing. 

It was worse than he could imagine. 

(2:18am) u r so ducking hot n ur voice is driving me

(2:18am) so so crazy

Steve swiped out and went into his contacts to try to actually call Robin. The number listed under her name was clearly now Eddie. He went to his messages and found the thread with just her number and hit call. 

“How are you functioning already this early? You were fucked-“

“Robin, I have a code red! A double code red. I don’t-“

“Wh-huh? What?”

“Apparently I drunkenly hit on this fucking gorgeous dude on Bumble last night and it’s, oh shit,” he rubbed at his face with his free hand. “Well, maybe I didn’t fuck it up completely because I just accidentally called him and he seemed…”

“Seemed?” Robin prompted. He could hear her smirk through the phone. 

“He didn’t seem put off. Like at all. He told me to catch up on our messages and call him back.”

“That’s very cute.”

After putting her on speaker, he swiped back into Bumble, encouraged now by having Robin metaphorically by his side and knowing Eddie still seemed interested after all. 

(2:34am) Thanks, you’re pretty ducking hot yourself. Having a good night?

Eddie let him ramble for a while about his night out with Robin, even Steve having trouble deciphering his terrible drunk texting. It was then full speed ahead for horny drunk Steve.

(2:56am) cd cum jus from ur voice omfg

(3:12am) need ur dick in my

(3:12am) mouth

(3:14am) r wherevr u want rly

Steve winced but saved Eddie’s pictures and screenshotted his embarrassing nonsense and sent it to Robin. 

“Oh my god, Steve.”

“Bobbi I swear to you I don’t remember any of this but I mean I do think his voice is like the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. His morning voice was like-“ he groaned and Robin made fake gagging noises at him. 

“You said you accidentally called him today? So he gave you his number even after all of this disgustingness?”

“Oh, yeah! And I somehow saved his number as you. So when I tried to call you this morning it was him.” He navigated back to his messages and opened the text thread for 👯 Robin Bobin🍦”Oh no.”

The messages weren’t much more coherent but Steve understood what Eddie had meant when he said it cleared up some things on his end. 

“I was texting him thinking I was texting you… about him… oh my god, Rob. What did I drink last night?”

(3:39am) hes soooo so so soooo forgoes

(3:39am) gorgus

(3:40am) gorgeus

(3:48am) Lol oh yeah?

(3:49am) I hope you’re home and safe, babe.

(3:50am) yah I’m in m bed

(3:50am) wanna hear ur voice

(3:52am) Okay lol give me one sec

(3:54am) stop calling me im wating for te love of my life to call dingus

“Jesus Christ.” He chugged the rest of his coffee and sunk into the couch. “Dude I kept demanding he call me but then yelled at him… thinking he was you calling. Telling you to stop calling me because ‘the love of my life’ was going to call. I’m never drinking again.”

“Why did he put up with this? And still wants to talk to you! You must have some amazing pictures on your profile,” she laughed.

“Well you picked them.”

“Oh,” she scoffed. “Then of course he’s in love with you.”

The texts kept coming. 

(4:02am) want to lik ur face

(4:06am) You’re cute.

(4:19am) boo I threw up ☹️

(4:22am) Aww sweetheart are you okay?

(4:34am) malljng asleep

(4:35am) Me too. Get some rest, honey.

“He’s so fucking sweet and amazing, Robs. All this shit I was doing and he was just worried about me. I can’t call this guy back. I can’t believe he answered when I called and woke him up.”

“He clearly likes you, dipshit. Call him back!”

He tortured himself for the rest of the morning going through the messages on Bumble. He saved his number properly (Eddie 🥵🥵🥵) and saw in his call log he’d missed a few calls and a FaceTime call from him the night before. 

He scrolled through his own profile, trying to look at it as if he was someone else. Robin had done most of the profile for him. He groaned and covered his face when he saw a ‘throwback’ picture of him in his Scoops Ahoy uniform from years ago. But Eddie had commented on it, “You wouldn’t happen to still have this outfit, would you? 😏”

Unsurprisingly, on a picture of Eddie in big black boots Steve had said, “I want u tk stomp on me w this boots.” 

He took tylonel and chugged some water and took a shower. Then he found himself back on his couch with his phone in his hand. He replayed all of Eddie’s voice prompts to continue to torture himself. How could he be so attracted to someone’s voice? Their recorded voice, even. In person it had to be mind melting. 

He texted Robin, triple checking that it was the correct thread. 

(1:08pm) what if I move to Guam?

(1:09pm) that means you haven’t called him yet?

(1:09pm) ofc not, Robin! I’ve already made a huge ass of myself

(1:10pm) if he’s interested in you he apparently likes huge asses 🍑🍑🍑

Steve groaned.

(1:10pm) why am I best friends with you again?

(1:11pm) cuz we’re the same person and we were trauma bonded by a terrible ice cream job

(1:11pm) CALL

(1:11pm) HIM

The choice was apparently made for him because his phone was ringing and he stupidly answered it. 

“Um. Hi?”

“Hi. I know I told you to call me but I figured I’d jump the gun since I work later. Didn’t want to miss you.”

“That’s okay. I’m, uh, I’m very embarrassed, honestly.” He covered his eyes with his hand and scrunched into the couch. “I promise I don’t do things like this.”

Eddie made a soft comforting noise. “It’s okay, Stevie. I promise it wasn’t offensive. Intriguing, actually. Endearing.”

God, his fucking voice. He could listen to him read the dictionary. A small groan punched out of him before he could hold it back. 

“You’re okay, though? I was mostly worried about you.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for being so nice while I was being a menace.”

Eddie laughed. Steve pressed the phone against his face trying to get it closer to him. “You weren’t being a menace, sweetheart.” His honeyed voice cascaded over him and he made another simpering noise. “What’s got you all whimpery then?”

“Fuck. Your voice,“ he whined. He shouldn’t have been listening to his prompts all morning because he had already been buzzing from it and now getting it directed at him was too much.

“Oh that was for real? I assumed that was just a line.” Eddie definitely made his voice even more dark and sexy and Steve whimpered for real. “Maybe it’s a good thing you never answered last night. Would’ve kept your promise but been too out of it to remember.”

“Kept my promise?”

Eddie chuckled. “You told me you could come just from my voice.”

“Fuuucckk. I mean maybe, I’m hard from just listening to your prompts- uhhh,” he groaned. 

“Oh really?” His voice changed again to a more dark and sultry tone and Steve’s hips jolted up with a low moan. “God you really are, aren’t you?”

Steve did a little breathy “mhm” and Eddie groaned, low and dirty. 

“Oh my god.” Steve was losing his mind. He had never been so turned on from someone talking to him. Every word he said felt like it was going straight to his dick. “Eddie-“

“Holy shit, if you keep saying my name like that I’ll be coming in my pants right after you.”

Steve grabbed the back of the couch to stop himself from reaching for his throbbing dick. He whined again, feeling so desperate already. 

“You’re okay, angel. So you went out last night? With your friend?”

“Oh shit. Y-yeah. Finals are over.”

“Are you in school?” Eddie’s voice seemed to shift again but Steve just shook his head. Then realized he couldn’t see him. 

“Ah- n-no, Robin, my friend. She’s in her last year of college. I’m, uh, not.” A less fun version of humiliation clenched his guts.

“Robin is the one you saved my number under? You seem close.”

“Yeah. We met in high school. She’s, can we not really talk much about her, like right now?”

Eddie laughed. “Sure, baby. I get it. You wanna hear more about me, huh?” He could picture the exact smirk he bet was spread across his face.

“Fuck, sure. Anything. Please just keep talking.”

“You’re so sweet,” he said. “You by yourself? No roommates we have to worry about?”

“Ah- no. Just me. Apartment neighbors, but they’ve probably heard worse-“

“Oh yeah? You get loud, baby? Gunna be loud for me?” He sounded downright pornographic now. Dark and filthy and Steve wanted to roll in it. 

“God, how are you doing this? I’ve never- ah, shit- This is weird, right?”

Eddie hummed. “Not weird, Stevie. It’s so sexy, hearing you get all flustered over me. If it makes you feel better you’re the first person who’s been this interested in my voice,” he chuckled again and Steve moaned. “You gettin’ close, angel?” Steve made a noise he hoped was affirmative. “Not touching yourself, right? Wanna see if you can do it with just me talking,” he dropped his voice low and sultry again.

“Oh my god,” Steve was reeling. How was this possible? “You need to run a 900 line or something.” Eddie laughed again, a real laugh and Steve could picture him throwing his head back, hair flying. His neglected dick throbbed at him. 

“I think it’s just you, babe. Which is fine for me. I don’t usually like this sort of attention. But you’re so genuine about it. You just want someone to take care of you, huh?” The words and the rich silky tone had him moaning again, dick jumping in his sweats. 

“Yes,” he breathed. “So close, please,” he gasped out, letting his hips move uncontrollably. 

“Doing so good, Stevie. Gunna make a mess for me? You’re so amazing. You know you were driving me crazy all night right? Telling me to call and then not answering and telling me off about it. Would go stare at your pictures in your profile and all was forgiven. You could convince me to do anything, baby. Just turn those eyes up at me and I’d fold instantly.”

Steve whimpered loudly, then shoved knuckles in his mouth, suddenly self conscious about his noises. 

“Hey, let me hear you. Want you to be loud for me, c’mon. Know you’ve gotta be so close, little one. Gunna come so hard. I know,” he crooned. “You’ve got me close, too. Picturing you all sprawled out for me, all needy and desperate. Wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of you if I was there.”

A loud moan burst out of him and his hips jolted forward again. The thought of Eddie being here, touching him and talking to him was forcing him to clench his fist into the couch to keep himself from touching his dick. 

“Please,” he cried out. 

“Oh, honey, I know. You’re so perfect, so sweet. Making me crazy. Bet you looked so good when you went out last night, yeah? Couldn’t stop thinking about it. Did you dance? Let everyone see you? Did you let them put their hands on you? Slide in behind you?”

Steve groaned and said, “Uh huh.” Eddie groaned back. 

“Yeah, but then you came home and found me. Chose me instead. Because you knew I’d give you what you really needed. Isn’t that right, baby?” 

He was squirming around so much now and constantly making little punched out moans and whimpers. Eddie’s voice in his ear was just right, saying just what he needed to hear and going straight to his cock. 

“Yeah, yes Eddie. Fuck- oh oh,” he rocked his hips, getting a tiny bit of friction against his boxers. 

“C’mon, you can do it. So fucking hot, baby. Maybe we’ll try this again when I see you. Lay you out across my lap and just talk to you. Huh? Think we’d make it? Before I lost my mind and fucked you?”

Steve cried out, almost dropping his phone. “Oh fuck, oh my god-“ he panted and shoved his phone back to his face. “Please-“

“Yeah, you’d be begging for my cock huh? And I’d give it to you. Would give you everything you wanted. So fucking good for me. Now come.” The growl under his voice sent Steve spiraling. 

He yelled out as he came, seeing stars. He dropped the phone out of his hand to clench around the cushion behind his head as his hips continued pumping. 

When he scrambled for his phone his thumb hit the video call button and suddenly he was face to face with the man who just made him come untouched. 

“Oh. Hi.” His face was red and sweaty, hair stuck to his forehead in the little box. Eddie smirked at him, looking mostly nonplussed. His hair was piled in a bun on the top of his head and it made Steve want to yank the tie out. 

“Hi baby. Well? Let me see.”

“Oh my god,” he panted. But he turned the camera around to pan down to the growing wet spot in his sweats, his legs still jumping. 

“Fuck, you’re so ridiculously hot.”

Steve turned it back to his face again but covered it with his hand. 

“Don’t do that, honey. You’re perfect. That was the hottest thing ever.”

Steve peeked out from over his hand. “Really?”

“Really. When can I see you? What are you doing tomorrow?”

Steve giggled. “Tomorrow’s free.”

@lawrencebshoggoth @lighthousebeams

[pupyuj]

wait why was the soft yujin ask actually so cute i neeeeeed to hear about soft dom ive always taking care of their gf in bed

this is a bit long cuz i included aftercare along w the sex so 😚😚 i went through several breakdowns writing this i love my girls.. my scrunklies.. my sillies...

gaeul is a service top IDCCCC 😤😩 maybe it's the unnie in her that just makes her want to prioritize your pleasure over her own,, esp if she gets way too busy to be with you :(( going from weeks to sometimes months without her bcs her schedule gets so packed, she feels so guilty about it as if it was her fault 😔 even when you reassure her that neither of you can do anything about it bcs she loves her job and you support her no matter what! and bcs of your never-ending support for her, she repays you by fucking you nice and well,,, she's kissing you everywhere, whispering how much she loves you, hits all of the spots that she knows feel good, and makes you come a lot but not too much so that you're not overstimulated and exhausted 🥺

aftercare consists of romcom movies, lots of forehead kisses, and cuddles! gaeul is small, yes but she insists on being the big spoon cuz it makes her feel like she's keeping you safe n protected, and that's really all she wants! 🥺

yujin knows alllll about love and care ofc! sure, most of the time, she's energetic and literally fucks you like she won't get to do it ever again but other times, she can be super gentle 🥺🥺 the pup showers you with praises while she's fingering you, says things like: "my baby's so pretty" and "doing so well for me, good girl" like she just wants to make you feel appreciated and special 😩 sometimes she fears that you think she's only with you for the sex, bcs the two of you do fuck a lot and it's very intense too but she wants you to know that she's with you bcs she loves you, so yeah she talks a lot during these times 😭 but her voice, her praises, and her kisses keep you from getting lost in pleasure bcs even when she's all soft and sentimental she still fucks you so good like holy shit this girl just knows you so well 🫠🫠

aftercare is yujinnie wrapping all of her limbs around you and keeping you close 😭😭 but ofc she's careful not to like, crush you or suffocate you sjdbfjosf she's threading your hair with her fingers, patting your back softly as a means to lull you to sleep.. she makes jokes too?? 😭 like maybe the two of you have gone silent but not asleep so she'll just say something funny and you'll burst out laughing,,, yujin loves your smile sm, she wants you to be happy foreverrrr 🥲

rei is always soft with you, she's a love maker dammit 😔 takes care of you like you're made of glass but that doesn't mean she's vanilla or anything . she knows how to fuck you, she just doesn't like to overwhelm you with it!! she's always asking if you're doing okay, if anything hurts, if you want her to stop or keep going . and tbh she's giving service top too, she's always aiming to make you feel good cuz ur her baby!! like, she also asks if you want her to go faster if it was what you wanted 🥺 and she warns you if she decides to fuck you harder.. saying it like: "it's going to hurt a little bit, baby... is that okay?" i cannot stress this enough SHE SO FUCKING CARESSS 😭😭😭😭 if you're feeling particularly needy on a certain day, you will literally have to assure rei several times that you won't complain if she just fucks you out of your mind bcs you want it, but she's so afraid of breaking you :((( but when you do give her the go... she can have you seeing the stars 😵‍💫

aftercare is reibear cuddling you from behind while holding hands 🥺 and she kisses your shoulder a lot, as well as the hand that's holding hers ☺️☺️ trust that the aftercare will last until the next morning sjfbfkf like rei's giving you breakfast in bed, combing your messy hair, and offering to help you in the bathroom SHE'S JUST.. SHE'S VERY GIRLFRIEND OKAY 🥹💔

wonyoung is very sub top to me, shes baby 🥺🥺 like she can fuck! she can fuck real good, but she's so in love with you that she just... she folds no matter what 😩 holding both of your hands while she's fucking you with a strap, leaning down and kissing you, and she talks a lot too!! always asking for permission and like, approval ... "does it feel good, unnie?", "am i doing good, unnie?", "are you gonna come yet, unnie? yes?", "can i go faster, please? i want to hear you" omggg kfkjnfdjdsjdfj 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 baby definitely comes with you because seeing you fall apart and hearing the noises she brought out of you is really enough for her 🫠 but she keeps going . she continues on fucking you bcs she so wants to satisfy you, and in a way, she's satisfying herself too bcs if you're feeling great, she'll feel amazing 😩🫣

aftercare is just,, being held close to wony's heart 🥺 she has you laying on top of her, your head resting on her chest, falling asleep to her heartbeat and the random shapes she traces on your back with her fingers... says 'i love you' even when you're sleeping, kissing the top of your head, and getting lost in her head thinking about how much she really appreciates and loves you like my girl is LOVESICKKKK GET UP!!! 😩

unpopular opinion but liz is just as eager as a certain puppy when fucking you i will not be told otherwise!! she just loves feeling your warm cunt around her fingers and even better on her tongue!!! but lizzy understands that sometimes you get tired and just want to go about things slower... and she gets soooo emotional???? like she's fucking you and suddenly, she has a whole speech about how beautiful you are to her and it's just :((( SHE LOVES YOU OKAY . SHE WANTS YOU TO FEEL PRETTY BCS UR HER PRETTY GIRL!! <///3 liz loves to spoil you with compliments, she really does 😔 she tells you that every single part of you is so ethereal to her :( from your eyes, to your nose, your lips, every little scar, and even the parts of you that you think aren't worth acknowledging or complimenting but they are to liz bcs you're genuinely so perfect in her eyes 🥲🥲💓

aftercare is lizzy humming a lullaby to help you fall asleep 😩😩 she likes staring at you too, but ofc not in a creepy edward cullen way but in an oh-my-god-she's-so-down-bad way she needs help getting up too‼️‼️

[onyourhyuck]

BACK 2 U. | Lee Haechan. (M)

prologue- “Stop laughing it’s not funny! I was literally having a bad day and then you said you couldn’t come back. I was this close to just buying that ticket.” + “You’re the best person in the world y/n and holy shit am i lucky to have you.”

the warnings: angst wholesome and slightly suggestive fic. Haechan is abroad for japan tour and it was supposed to end today, but he texts you saying the flight has been delayed and he can’t come back. Crying y/n. Haechan laughs at reader’s reactions finding them cute. Mild spice at the end.

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Donghyuck sent you a text that his flight departing from Japan back to Korea has been delayed, and that he cannot make it back to meet you at the airport today.

Not only did this sent you into multi-dimensional despair through more than one reality. It hit you like a deep truck. Weeks apart from your boyfriend, weeks of barely texting and calling. You were touch starved, love starved, you were deprived of Lee fucking Donghyuck. It physically pains you to imagine one more day without him.

When things got really stressful and hard for you, when life became a pain enduring alone, your boyfriend was there for you to remind you to hang on there you are nearly at the exit. He makes you continue to strive for the success. University is extremely— extremely draining, draining to the point you don’t feel alive as a human anymore. It leaves your spirit to diminish; hell it probably made you have no spirit at all. On the plus side, you are a MEDICINE student. To hell with it all, you’re this close to dropping it, by referencing to close you mean close to the point of any gaps between you and that big red button written ‘DROP OUT’

Your eyes tremble at the texting message, afraid and disappointed. You bite your bottom lip as your eyes were barely visible for you to read the message Donghyuck sent you: delayed flight. The next thing you realise , you turn your back around with your head hung low. Water dropping on the airport trampling ground, from your crystal-sparkling eyes. Fuck, should i just buy that ticket? Will that make me look like an obsessed clingy girlfriend who cannot handle living by herself? Or will that make me unstable? Those words ran in your mind like spreading wildfire of drought thoughts. Sure, your relationship has boundaries and space. Donghyuck enjoys his own time alone, but he enjoys his time spent with you twice as much too.

You give him what he needs and whatever he asks of you’re on it the minute his plum lips gave the word. The work he does requires him to be flexible with fans, the other members, his family and producers. You’re not his main priority and that is okay, he isn’t your main priority either. Your priority is surviving your university and graduating.

The moment you look at the leaving exit entrance of the airport welcoming you, you were faced with a familiar long build structure, a small snatch waist with an autumn-inspired shirt that sort of reminds you of Gryffindor theme from Hogwarts instead. Black long length leans reaching the long legs walking up to your frozen figure very leisurely and casually, as if it were a condescending joke and he had gotten the reaction he wanted.

Perhaps, he wanted. He didn’t expect you to full on emotionally breakdown in public and bawl your eyes out. But the element of surprise and shock, made him satisfied enough with this prank he had pulled. Donghyuck was in front of the exit and when he stood in front of you with a shit-eating grin looking at your pretty red face, with scrunch up eyes sobbing out depressingly.

“Ohh Y/n look at you.” He sweetly reprimands with banter in the tone, you come closer banging your head on his chest as you hit your palms the side weakly, breaking down with inner-croaks with each cry you muffle. “What sick joke is this Lee Donghyuck?” You weakly shout in his chest.

He smirks. “I was here early. I wanted to surprise you.”

“Surprise me, my ass. You’re a jerk. You’re the bane of my existence. How can you do that to me— seriously, I hate you. I wish you stub your toe every morning for the next thirty years and I wish you slip on a banana peal on your way to work.”

Donghyuck would watch you speak so quickly to the point he could no longer register a formal sentence from your slipping mouth. It’s almost like Mark Lee possessed your body for a hot minute and boy, was he not regretting seeing you go absolutely mental with him. To see you fume out your frustrations because he knows you missed him so much, as well as regret missing him so much considering he pulled this ridiculous joke on you. But you cannot help but love him and he so happy of relief that he is back.

He laughs, pulling your face in his hands where he cups it like a soft ball. “Oh god I’m so happy to see you too, my lovely loving and kind girlfriend.” He sarcastically adds with a hint of flirtyness.

He loves the way your cheeks puff out in his hands when he squished them together. The salty waterfall spewing from your eyes down the round red apple cheeks of yours made you ten times cuter than anything in this world and he was down-bad obsessed with you: physically, mentally and spiritually. You were the only thing he knew. Every word he knew. Every colour he knew. Every dream he saw. You’re his world and everything

“Stop laughing it’s not funny! I was literally having a bad day and then you said you couldn’t come back. I was this close to just buying that ticket.” You complain with your eyebrows knitting forward, now you’re sulking like a child. Donghyuck really cannot get enough of you and your amazing reactions.

“You’re the best person in the world y/n and holy shit am i lucky to have you.” He announced as he kisses your forehead. The minute you felt the pair of the softness of his lips and the loving embrace he has pull you in, your anger vanished. You melt in his hold and at the head kiss was enough to make you feel like you are alive again.

You mumble. “I know I am. So don’t do that again, please, I was really going to buy a ticket to Japan and come get you myself.”

He smirks looking down at your lips when the seriousness of your tone came back to life. Donghyuck’s hand brushes on your chin as his thumb rubs on the bottom lip, his darken gaze mysteriously flickers, eyeing you as if you were the prize of his darkest and deepest possessions.

“You should’ve.” He says. “You should’ve bought it. I would show you off to my fans.” You smile at his words as your heart raced at the action he had over you. Slightest touch was enhanced by 100 times. “And I would’ve had my fun with you in the japanese hotel rooms. They have really comfy beds…” he whispers before winking at you.

“We are in public, behave!”

Your lips fall apart as your cheeks and ears grow red. You thought he cannot be serious, but boy he was deadly serious about this. He grows out a happy laugh when you pull away, clearing your throat as you look around if anyone heard him; thankfully, no one did. But there was a high risk possibility anyone could of took a glimpse of that conversation. He saw your shyness, as a way of announcing you lowkey loved it but were too stunned. He always likes having you speechless. It’s fun.

“So…that’s a no to the invitation?” He begins and you look back at him, raising an eyebrow. You gently whisper. “I mean I didn’t say no…”

“I mean. Let’s just go home and do it. Right now.” You huff out walking out of the airport with your hands interlocking his, he smiles ear to ear. “With pleasure.” He sang. Donghyuck always will be Back 2 You.

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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank youu! REBLOG, LIKE THIS FIC AND FOLLOW ME FOR MORE UPDATES LIKE THIS IT HELPS A GIRL OUT