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#i cant even blame anyone or anything else
artkarps · 1 month
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oceanwithouthermoon · 18 days
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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the-kipsabian · 1 year
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im gonna complain sorry i need to get this out of my brain since ive been thinking about it recently. leaving it in the tags so you can ignore it or whatever
#i just. feel like im missing out on everything recently#everyone else is having fun with each other and their friends and im just. here for no reason#timezones fuck me over so intensely on like a daily basis and its so fucking sad like#the society is demanding me to be a responsible human being which means sleeping - and while i do that everyone else has fun#yall get to watch things together. yall get to chat about things together. yall get to do shit in real time#like im not blaming anyone for having fun good for you im glad youre enjoying yourselves and everything!!#but also i just. feel left out. and its very stupid but im stupid and so is having to sleep and i never get to do anything fun cause of it#i never get to watch stuff live. i never get to participate in anything. and when i maybe do its an anxiety situation so i have to pass#i think thats why wrestling is rn a very sore spot for me. i havent really watched anything in a while cause i feel so left out#like im always behind. and i know it shouldnt matter but when i see everyone interacting with live blogs and such and i know i cant do that#and theres no point doing that afterwards#and the only things i can reasonably live blog are things that nobody else watches or cares about and im just#mostly anyways i only put my time and effort into something that only i care about#and im not gonna lie it kinda hurts. like ofc i cant ask anyone else to care but i just feel so fucking lonely sometimes#sorry im just. not in a good spot. honestly i probably never will be cause none of this is going to change cause i cant change it#and i cant and wont ask anyone to change it cause thats not good or fair or anything to anyone#i shouldnt even post this this is so stupid and im such a stupid little baby but im just...#im so fucking lonely sometimes and i see everyone else being able to do things and have fun and enjoy themselves. without me#im so lonely and im so jealous and it just fucking sucks okay#im gonna go now. im sorry#night is an absolute mess on main
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fleshdyke · 2 years
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shdjjdbdjd
#csa warning for tags#i would give fucking anything to know who did this to me lol.#i don’t know if i’ll ever know and that’s the most distressing part#fuck what happened to me. i cant even remember it. i still deal w the trauma from it but like its over and done i cant do anything abt it#who cares abt that. i just desperately need to know if whoever did it is still out there.#i really really really hope it was that kindergarten teacher i had that got fired for being a pedo. because at least he got consequences.#at least he cant do it to anyone else#im just absolutely fucking terrified that they got away with it. that theyre still getting away with it.#how many other kids did they rape. could i have saved them#i just wish i could fucking remember what happened and who it was bc the idea of it being someone i trusted. and them never getting caught#makes me fucking sick#im on the brink of a fucking breakdown bc im so terrified that they raped someone else and i couldnt stop them#or that they’re still in my life#and i feel like its my fault for never saying anything bc i couldnt remember who did it#but like. at the time. when i Could remember it. why didnt i say anything#and logically i know im not to blame because i was a fucking child i wasnt even 10 yet and i cant remember anything abt it now#but i still feel so fucking guilty bc what if they got to someone else before i could do anything about it#my dad laughs at rape jokes and makes fun of me for being so protective of little girls i meet and so scared of older men#and i cant fucking tell him i got raped because he wouldn’t fucking believe me#even if i had the memories to prove it he wouldn’t believe me#and i dont even want to entertain the idea that he did it bc that would mean my rapist is in my house every fucking day#and i dont think im able to handle that#just. fuck#im so scared theyre still in my life#i guess im glad i cant remember being raped but i wish i knew who did it so i can know if they got consequences#rambles#vent
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djmousewife · 6 days
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silverislander · 2 months
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i know logically in my brain that i have a disorder that makes it hard for me to focus and do work, the symptoms of which are not gonna go away bc other people need/want me to do stuff, and still like. i'm behind on a bunch of shit for school rn and i'm kind of spiralling over it bc WHY IS IT HARD. this is stuff i like doing and that i want to do. and i can't for the life of me fucking do it and the deadlines are coming up and i NEED TO FUCKING GRADUATE so it has to get done
#i have two assignments due for indigenous lit and i havent even read/watched the materials which is fucking shameful ngl#im so disconnected and behind in that class its not even funny. ive been skating by reading part of the books and doing shit last minute#and i feel awful abt that in particular bc i WANT to give it my full attention. i want to learn. this is important and interesting to me#im also a week behind on my essay which terrifies me ngl#im a week OUT from the next deadline and thats not getting met. which begs the question of when im going to be able to submit it#when i asked my prof for extra time he said he trusts me to 'work conscientiously' which. god. thats so kind but i dont do that#theres an assignment next week for book history that i dont have even started and dont understand#and i cant make myself do fucking anything at all i want to fucking cry#why cant my brain work normally please this one time#why cant literally anyone in a position of authority take me seriously that its a problem i am literally begging rn#im tired of being told that im smart so i can do it bc i literally cant anymore! its been getting worse for years!#i Am smart enough to do this but something else is wrong!! please!! im trying so hard and i know its not this difficult for everyone#im only taking 4 courses! i know people taking 5 who arent struggling as much as me w workloads!!#its gonna take me failing for anyone to care and i cannot fail at this point. im almost done#levi.txt#vent tw#and then i also feel bad bc i blame everything on my adhd#but also. it does fucking affect all aspects of my life#and i feel like i complain too much but that simultaneously nobody is getting how hard shit is for me/how im not ok#delete later#im not asking for attention rn im just yelling into the void dw abt it. ill probably feel better in an hour or two
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yakisabajanai · 3 months
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chlopieno · 5 months
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This friday sucks super bad so far.
#vent incoming#my boyfriend is having super bad time and it's strongly related to me yet not my direct fault and the only way i could remove#myself from the equation would be completely get out of theor life. and even then i don't believe it would help. there's so much#internalized stuff#bad family stuff#overall so many bad things pilled up one on another that are centered at the topic of identity#and such that yes. i could leave. but then will it help with the homophobia or transphobia he's facing? if he goes back into closet how#will it help if the base of the problem is still there?#i can't help if he doesnt leave and find a space where his parents have no say. i asked him over and over again to go to a psychiatrist#ive been asking him to do it for over a year. and he has a barrier that makes sharing hard for him but for the love of the saints he needs#help from someone who is qualified to do it. i asked him to choose his doctor so he can be most comfortable. i offered to pay for the doctor#in case he has no money. i try so hard to pull him out of this place of self blame and of blame he receives from his parents#from anyone else#i try so hard to let him know he can ask me for help. i try to make him feel comfortable and safe. i want future with him and he made m#me think he wanted it too but today he told me that he doesnt know if getting together woth me was a good choice. and even if he breaks up#with me i will know that all of it is going to stay the same#i really dont know what to do. how to help. how do i make everything better if i cant do anything about his family and his home? he goes#back there and i immediately start worrying about him. he told me he doesnt feel safe in that town and i cant do anything. i cant convince#him to move out. i cant convince him to drop this old life. i feel so helpless
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maplesyrupsainz · 2 months
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙MY girl | LN4˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: lando norris x celeb interviewer!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au, established relationship
warnings: a couple of innuendos/sexual references but mainly fluff
summary: in which your job has your boyfriend acting up every other week
a/n: this is kind of short but didnt think it was necessary to make it any longer!?! hope u luv it (i love jealous lando omg my heart cant take itttt)
request!!!: Lando’s gf is a celebrity interviewer like Amelia from chicken shop date and Lando is supportive but also playfully jealous?
fc: amelia dimdoldenburg
my masterlist
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instagram ->
yourusername 📍 london
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liked by aitch, landonorris, and 1,718,293 others
yourusername spent a day in london with my fav british rapper @.aitch !! episode out now hope u enjoy 👀
tagged: aitch
view all 18,284 comments
user1 OMG he was flirting with her so bad
user2 no fr she got a man
user3 yea and her man is LANDO NORRIS likeeee
user4 why are they lowkey cute together.....
user5 i love everything y/n does
user6 does anyone else only watch the series just for y/n idec about the celebrity guests 💀
user7 no coz this is actually so valid
user8 omg i've been waiting for this one
user9 queue lando marking his territory soon
user10 can u blame him
f1wags
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f1wags new episode of y/n y/l/n's celeb interview series with british rapper aitch out now 🫶 for anyone who doesn't know, y/n (wag of lando norris) is a celebrity interviewer for events & tv as well as having her own series online in which she “dates” someone for the day, usually in a random city of their choice, and interviews them at the same time in a comedic way !!! the series is super popular, who would you like to see her interview?
view all 5,174 comments
user11 we love her
user12 her interviews r sooo funny and unserious
user13 i want her to interview f1 drivers 😭
user14 omg rightttt imagine lando on there
user15 i want oscar or charles 😂
user16 i didnt even know she was a wag
user17 she's more relevant that her bf HE's the wag
user18 justice for my guy lando
aitch
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 853,903 others
aitch watch me on y/n y/l/n's series for real like that's my girl
tagged: yourusername
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user19 damn
user20 his girl?!
user21 y/n looks so hot
user22 look like a couple fr
yourusername had the best time, thanks for coming on the show!!!
aitch anything 4 u
user23 🤭🤭🤭
user24 CUTIESSS
user25 one of my fav episodes so far
twitter ->
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instagram ->
landonorris posted a story
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liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 822,182 others
user30 omg i screamed
user31 SHE'S SOOO HOTTTT
carlossainz55 somebody's jealous
landonorris of what?
carlossainz55 😂
user32 lando norris you are one lucky man
yourusername omg hello mr protective
landonorris my girl
yourusername you are freaking sexy
landonorris where are you right now
yourusername 👀
landonorris
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,021,843 others
landonorris hey
view all 33,826 comments
user33 "HEY"????
user34 omg
user35 HOTTTTTT
carlossainz55 still not jealous?
landonorris not sure what you're talking about!
user36 you caused this @.aitch
aitch nah
landonorris no
yourusername 🙂
user37 posting this with this caption is criminal
user38 hahaha our jealous boy
user39 little lando norris is jealoussss
yourusername hahah i love you and only you
yourusername posted a story
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 713,028 others
landonorris yup. that's MY girl
THE END 🧡
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iiyaink · 2 years
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My twitter notifications. Just spoiled a huge piece of splatoon 3 lore. In bold fucking letters.
Fellas...I was so gd careful and vigilant
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charmercharm3r · 6 months
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i cant NOT think about jeongin asking the 9th member for help with/practice kissing (the phrasing is weird but i lovee this idea 😭)
Masterlist
prev: three, next: five
☆゚
“It’s not that I haven’t wanted to… It just never happened.”
Jeongin was defending himself like his life depended on it. Not that he needed to, no one blamed him or thought it was weird— more of a pride thing on his end.
“You don’t have to explain yourself,” you crumpled the empty water bottle in your hand and turned to Jisung. Raising and bringing it down playfully onto the top of his head, Jisung didn’t run from the scolding. “Why’d you put him on the spot like that! What’s your dating history like then, hm?”
Jisung immediately skipped over to Jeongin to take him into an embrace while the younger attempted to escape. “Ew, hyung— get away! You’re sweaty!”
When he managed to catch him, Jisung rubbed his cheek into Jeongin’s shoulder, “don’t feel bad, Jeonginnie. I’ve kissed people, but don’t worry, it’s not that fun.” Jeongin looked at you with a face that begged for mercy but not attempting to push him away.
“He’s lying, kissing is really fun,” Hyunjin chimed in and took a seat the open space beside you. “Kissing me is even more fun. C’mon Y/N’ie, just one?” He shoulder bumped you and puckered his lips.
“Kiss each other.” With that, you excuse yourself to the bathroom, only to come back minutes later to find Jisung pinning Hyunjin to the floor trying to take your words literally. You turned around and left again before witnessing anything that’ll make your eyes burst into flames.
☆゚
What was probably hours had passed and everyone since forgotten about what had been said in the practice room, entirely too preoccupied with other things. Like singing lessons, for example. The session just didn’t go as you had hoped, that one high note was kicking your ass. As you walked through the corridor towards the exit, you could hear a soft voice from another occupied room.
Peaking through the small sliver of window, Jeongin was sat alone in the tiny confined space. You knocked twice before letting yourself in. He wasn’t startled, but surprised to see you, though the happy expression he wore quickly changed to something more melancholic.
“You’re still here? I thought your lessons ended an hour ago?” You stood in the door frame not wanting to invade too much of his space. Jeongin was always emotionally delicate, though he put up a hard shelled front.
“Yeah, just wanted some quiet before going home.” He twiddled his fingers, mind clearly not in the same room.
“Okay, wanna head back together? I can wait for you, I’ll grab us something at the convenience store.”
“Actually, can you come in?”
You closed the door behind you and sat in the spare chair. “Are you okay?”
He hated talking about his feelings, let alone things as personal as what Jisung had brought up earlier today about kissing. Jeongin has no idea how to go about it. He can’t articulate that he thinks you’re so pretty and that the way your nose crinkles when you laugh is adorable. It’s hard to put into words that he’s never kissed anyone because he didn’t want to waste his first with someone temporary because, “I only get one.”
Your eyebrow raised, “one what?”
His voice caught in his throat, hardly able to push the words past his lips, “one first kiss.”
“Are you still thinking about what Jisung said earlier? It’s nothing to feel bad about.”
Jeongin fidgeted a second longer before deciding to bite the bullet. “Take it. I don’t want it anymore.”
Fuck, he scared you. You’re looking at him like he has two heads and is speaking in tongues. “When you say it like that, I don’t want you to jump into things just because everyone else does. Don’t rush—“
“I’m not rushing. Like, the total opposite,” he sat on the edge of his seat and that much closer to you. “There have been people who wanted to kiss me, and I’ve wanted to kiss them. But I felt like I couldn’t? If I’m going to kiss someone, I want it to stick. Those people, they were temporary and I knew that, it wouldn’t have been fair to them. Now, I’ve been putting it off for so long that I think it’s not even an option anymore. But… then I look at you, talk to you, exist around you. It feels, for lack of a better word, right?”
At a complete loss for words, how have you not crumbled around him earlier? Let alone noticed he felt that way? You sat still with your lip between your teeth, running through all the possibilities that could follow if you were to go through with what he’s asking for. There was the fact that you already kissed one of them— briefly recalling your stolen moment with Felix— and that Jeongin hasn’t shied away from complementing you when he could or being all together boyfriendly. Even if you didn’t think of dating him, what harm could kissing him really do? If anything, doing it will satiate that need for the both of you, then close that chapter.
“Okay, but don’t tell Hyunjin. It’ll make him jealous.”
“More than when you kissed Felix?”
“How do you know that?!”
“I live with him?” He said it as if you were the stupid one to believe none of them would find out. Case in point.
You sighed, “yes, more than that time.”
As you moved and got more comfortable, he copied in sitting up straight and puckering his lips. “What’re you doing?”
“Getting ready to kiss you?” You rolled your eyes.
Jeongin came from a good place, even if he was entirely clueless. You suppose he was just parroting every time Jisung exaggeratedly tried to kiss the next nearest person. It was kind of endearing, a little geeky, but heartwarming nonetheless.
Putting your hands on his shoulders, you pushed them down to get him to relax. Then scooting your chair closer to his, you spread his knees to let your own take up that space. Jeongin let you maneuver him however you pleased, breath hitching as you stole his hands to place them lightly on the tops of your thighs. His hands were huge, not new information, but definitely a new feeling now that he was touching you. He was on the taller side, broader shoulders and probably able to wrap around your entire body if you hugged him properly. All those thoughts briefly swam around your brain just from the image of his hands on your thighs.
Jeongin was felt as though he was sweating bullets, but still immensely excited. Physical touch wasn’t his most favorite thing in the world, but he enjoyed it when it was you. These small, lingering touches, like where his hands were now, he probably enjoyed it more than he should.
“I’m going to put my hands on your neck, is that okay?” Jeongin nodded immediately, holding his breath. The warmth of your palms on his pulses made him shiver. “Don’t over think it. Kisses don’t need to be aggressive, they also don’t have to be too gentle. Just find a balance, not every person you kiss will want the same thing.” He nodded and absorbed every word that dripped from your perfectly plush lips. At some point he almost stopped listening and focused on your lips all together.
“What do you like?” He blurted out nervously. You giggled, oh so beautifully.
“We’ll get there,” your fingers traced back to comb through the hair at the back of his head teasingly, Jeongin almost fully leaned into it like a puppy. “Be calm. All the time in the world.”
Jeongin’s hands lightly kneaded the flesh of your thighs in anticipation, in need and desperation and longing to just feel your lips on his for the first time. He didn’t realize you were slowly drawing in closer and closer, then he could feel your breath fanning across his mouth and suddenly all the air was sucked from his lungs. “Make sure they want this as much as you. Look into their eyes, hold them tenderly, then ask. Can I kiss you?”
Glassy, watered over with all the stars staring back at you, “please.”
“That’s not a confirmation.” You were so close that the heat radiated off your body made Jeongin overheat in the best way possible.
“Yes, please kiss me.”
You were slow to press your lips to his, whereas as soon as the contact was made, Jeongin leaned further into you, almost shoving you out of your chair. Quick to push him back, you held his neck a little tighter and reined him in. Taking the hint, he put his excitement into his hands that now squeezed your thighs tighter and tighter, not that it hurt. His lips softened more, less eager but just as excited, he followed your lead.
The simple peck ended far too quickly for his liking, chasing as you pulled away. “No, no, more please.”
He moved to grip the bottom of your chair and tug the entire thing closer with the scrape of the legs on the floor echoing with a screech. Now you had nowhere to go, further trapped between his legs where you’d put yourself and Jeongin now reaching for your waist with one hand and the other cupping your jaw. And you didn’t hate it. Actually, you loved it. Getting attention from the one person that hates giving or receiving attention feels so rewarding, which is why you let him take what he wanted.
Long fingers threaded through your hair and tugged you to meet his lips half way, you fell forward into him and let your arms wrap around his neck. For his first time kissing, he was surprisingly well versed. Everything you’ve told him up until now he applied in his rather scattered yet charming kissing technique. He was everywhere all at once and it made your brain fuzzy.
Close lipped, simple, safe, eager, yearning, wanting, warm, fervorous, you didn’t want to let go almost as much as he did. Jeongin lightly whined when you pulled away, chasing after you again and keeping your upper body pinned to his. You hadn’t realized that your knees were pressing against his pelvis until you leaned a little back and he softly whimpered one more time.
“I don’t think you really needed kissing lessons.” He shrugged, smug. “Did you just wanna kiss me?” Another shrug and a crooked smile. “You little shit.”
“Don’t worry, I don’t kiss and tell.” You couldn’t tell if he lied, but truthfully you didn’t care, it didn’t matter.
Rolling your eyes again, he leaned in for a soft peck, molding your lips together sweetly, honey like moans being swapped between mouths.
That is, until the door to the vocal room was being burst open. You jumped in Jeongin’s hold, the both of you looking at who had just ruined your lovely moment.
“Oh, come on! Jeongin?! That is so not fair!” Hyunjin took up most of the doorway with Jisung peaking on his tiptoes over his shoulder.
A sigh fell from your mouth, patting Jeongin’s shoulders and reluctantly slipping from his grasp. He sat still, shriveling into the backrest of the chair as you gathered your stuff. “Aren’t you coming?” You asked him. Sheepish, he scratched the back of his head and pulled the hem of his shirt lower. “Nevermind, see you tomorrow, Jeonginnie.” He avoided eye contact again as you ruffled his hair and pushed past Hyunjin and Jisung.
The two followed behind you, bombarding you with question after question, mostly about how good the kiss with Jeongin was. Hyunjin was dramatically livid, nothing out of the usual, storming ahead of you and Jisung down the stairs to head home.
Jisung lightly pulled you back to a stop, curious eyes looking at you. “What is it?”
“I— I know I joke about kissing, said it’s not that fun and everything but…” he trailed off as though he couldn’t trust the words that he truly wanted to say. You waited patiently until he could articulate himself. “Can I be next?”
☆゚
A/N: it’s been a minute..hoping posting this can jumpstart me into posting more!! i really missed writing and finding this in my inbox after a month was so fun n cute to write, thank u anon!!!
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fleshdyke · 2 years
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shidgehejeghe
#tags contain talk abt rape and very young csa#god im reading a fic rn and it mentioned rape and im just like. in my head all of the sudden#bc i still dont fucking know who it was#i started being really hypersexual at like. 6 or 7 so i’m assuming that’s around when it happened#or at least started#and my friend asked me today ‘why do you never remember anything from camp’ bc we went to the same day camp for years since we were like 6#and i didnt know how to tell her that i lost most of my memories from before the age of 10 for some reason. probably trauma#so i just said idk haha. but like. even though it’s kinda not a lie bc i dont remember any specifics#i know the general gist of why all my memories are gone right. a mix of rape and child abuse and bullying and whatever else happened#but idk. im still so fucking pissed that i dont know who raped me#like to be completely honest i kind of don’t care that i got raped. i can’t remember it anyways and it doesn’t really affect me that much#but like. im absolutely fucking terrified that whoever did it never got caught. im so fucking scared they’re still doing it to other kids#there was a man that was like. kind of an assistant teacher ig in my preschool and kindergarten that got fired for feeling up a kid#and i’m desperately hoping it was him#bc he got fired. he got consequences. not enough but he did. and he cant do that to anyone else now#like. a part of me couldnt care less. its in the past and it doesnt really affect me anymore so idc. i know its not my fault i cant remember#it so i know i can’t really blame myself#and a part of me is just so fucking scared. bc idk if they’re still out there or not. and im absolutely terrified it will happen again#or that no one will ever want me again bc of it or something. bc as much as im not interested i still want people to think im attractive for#some reason. men in particular even though i do not want to reciprocate it at all. i think its the daddy issues#and the last part of me is just so fucking angry. who let this person anywhere near children. why didn’t a single person see the signs.#why me.#idk. a lot of thoughts today#rambles#vent
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fablepaint · 7 months
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I don’t know if I’m allowed to ask anything here, but I wanted to know something. How is it like being a director of an animation? What’s your ideology when it comes to directing?
Messages anytime all the time
caffeinecaffeinecaffeine
body exhausted, enforces its own breaks
hard to go out, ever
STRESSSSS
MAAATHHH
wheredidmybraingo?
*smashed body part* thatll heal up finnnne. i dont have time for doctor!
ohgoddontfuckitup dontbeTHATguy ohfuckohshit
i love my partner i cant believe he puts up with this
hug every pet. theyre my emotional sponges.
manic creative spurts followed by sheepish anxiety.
PaPERWORK
hurry up and wait, times a thousand.
hope you like data sheets!
delegateDAMMIT
And thats when it's running smoothly!
otherwise my approach is to try and reflect the best examples of leadership and guidance IRL ive experienced. Mostly, from quality college professors Ive known. Tom Sito in particular exemplified a lot of what i strive to be. He was also formerly guild president and i think teaching your crew to view themselves as a collective that supports each other is vital to ensuring not just that they work together well, but also should anyone try to take advantage of them, they'll curbstomp them. I want them to be capable even in my absence, beyond the project, and able to run their own projects competently in the future.
i should be the one who guides and educates people into giving what's needed for the shot. Pain and blood are unwanted elements in that recipe. Theyre distractions and energysappers, red flags of a problem not a badge of honor.
Ideally, i barely have to do more than gently steer the work. And if ive communicated what im looking for effectively, theyre all plenty good at doing the work without me hovering over them.
if the work needs more guidance than that, then i roll up my sleeves and dive in as well. And figure out what the problem was, log it, and let that educate everyone else too (good documentation is essential).
i try to exhaust every option i have before blaming the person working on it for all the issues. Sometimes that is the problem, but even then i need to approach it neutrally and ask what human solution is required then. Do they need a break? was this not the right shot for them? is their way of processing the communication different than i expected? is there a translation problem?
in which case give people space to figure out some of that without judgement. Sometimes that means leaving for a bit, or permanently. But dont chase them. Just let them have their own life.
The only things i cant abide by are lack of communication that results in putting stress on the rest of the team. Consistent lying about availability and ball dropping despite constant outreach means someone has to pick up the slack without enough time or energy stocked up to take on the extra work. Anything that ends up exacerbating stress makes me upset.
But even then, it's still my job to spot the signs of this and make necessary adjustments before it becomes a problem. Including identifying where I made a miscalculation in hiring.
The buck always ALWAYS stops with me. I have the power to adjust the system to make it better, which means i gotta have a good grasp on that system.
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Dick grayson x male reader (preferably YJ verse)
Reader is Clark's bio son and their both hopelessly in love but reader is scared of dicks dating history and how close he's with all his exes and he doesn't want to get burned in the process
Dick Grayson x kryptonian male reader
Headcanons
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Featuring some of my kryptonian headcanons.
You and Dick would be close even before the young justice team was made, since Bruce and Clark worked side by side so much as you were growing up. That results in you two knowing each other pretty well.
You would both be crushing on one another, but neither of you would confess or think the other feels the same way. Dick would the one to go off and date other people whilst you just stayed single and nursed what you thought was your one-sided crush.
Clark would have realized very early on how you were feeling for Dick, and he would tease you good naturedly about how you keep purring when your around him, saying its good he cant hear those frequencies or dick would have known immediately too.
You bring kryptonian makes you one of the team’s power houses, since you pack a major punch and other very strong powers. This results in you also looking out for a lot of the other team members just in case.
You’ve taken many hits for Dick over the years, since you on instinct keep a closer eye on him than everyone else. It’s not on purpose, you just do.
When Conner shows up, you don’t turn him away like others and treat him like a fellow kryptonian even if your dad is having some issues with being cloned. You don’t blame Conner for being created, and you just want to help out.
This leads to you and Conner getting close, and you teaching him about the weird quirks that come with being part Kryptonian. He almost exposes you when he asks why you purr so much around Dick, but you quickly shut him up.
Pretty much everyone can tell Dick is just as head over heels for you in return, it’s probably why some of his past relationships ended. I could imagine his partners realizing he was pining hard for you, which lead to a breakup for the most part.
Dick would think you don’t want a relationship in general since you’ve never been in a relationship with anyone, but everyone knows its because you pine after him too.
You two circling eachother like a pair of peacocks has been the cause of many tired conversations between your dads or your teammates. Bruce and Clark have known for years that you two like each other, but they also don’t want to push either of you to confess if you arent ready.
Your teammates have bets on how long its gonna take, Roy is the winner right now, since the bet was made years ago and he bet it would take you guys years, whilst the others said months or a year max.
You guys “hang out” all the time, but its very much just dates without you guys admitting it is. Like going out to eat together, going to the movies, or you flying around with him in your arms just for fun.
You guys end up kissing when you’ve been hit with a pretty strong dose of kryptonite, and you were loopy and weak. You weren’t sure you would make it out, so you kiss him.
Of course, you survive, and try to ignore that anything actually happened since you still think he doesn’t like you in return, and you fear you might have ruined your friendship.
It doesn’t help that all his exes are so attractive and skilled that it makes you insecure. Dick isn’t doing well with you avoiding him, as you go as far as using your super hearing to avoid him.
It ends up being Wally or Conner who explains to Dick that you feel insecure and like you won’t be able to meet his standards, which Dick doesn’t understand because he thinks your so far out of his league.
He would want to talk to you, but again, you’re avoiding him. Dick ends up getting the help from teammates and probably even Clark as you can’t outfly your dad like you can some of the others.
Finally, you two get to talk it all through, tears or shed, both sad tears and happy tears. You both feel so stupid cuz you’ve liked each other for years, but neither of you realized or confessed.
It takes a while after you start dating for you not to feel insecure or like you can’t meet some invisible standard, but Dick being so insanely smitten as he is helps quite a lot.
Your teammates have definitely joked that Dick would kiss the very ground you walk on if you asked, not that you wouldn’t do the same though.
You two are so cute together its almost sickening honestly. Always near eachother, holding hands, cuddling, kissing. The amount of flirting you do over comms now that you are together is unbelievable.
You’re very happy, though the insecurity does pop up at times. Your families and friends are happy you two finally confessed too. And Roy won the bet and became a richer man.
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mentos-or-mentoes · 3 months
Text
Headcanons! Cult of the lamb
Leshy, Heket, Shamura, Kallamar, Narinder and The lamb.
General:
(this will be in follower form for the bishops)
Leshy
Dude is definetly not happy upon being indoctrinated into the cult.
Like first he gets killed by the lamb and NOW he has to follow their commands? Yeah to say the least he might be a bit annoyed at first.
When you first introduce yourself, he might be a little skeptical mainly because he was a bishop so what were you gonna do? Make fun of him? Pull a ''prank'' Just because you could?
Surprisingly, no! You were kind, just trying to get to know him better, and trying to get him to know the cult a little better.
He is forever greatful if you help him around the place.
Romantic:
If Leshy smells anything he thinks is something like a flower, then he might try and guide you towards them.
Mainly because it might be difficult picking them, when he cant see where the hell he's going.
9.5 / 10 hugs and you cant convince me otherwise.
He might be a bit moist because of all the stuff growing on him but he definetly smells nice. (or atleast i headcanon it as such).
He can and will be a living scarf if he REALLY craves your attention.
He will just snuggling up to you in the middle of whatever you were doing.
Heket
General:
Heket was not the happiest when she awoke in the lambs cult to say the least.
Allthough she was hungry, (cant blame her tbh).
When you approached her and offered her a couple of berries as a little welcome gift you definetly became one of her favorites.
She probably didn't even want to try and care for someone that isn't her siblings, at this point.
She especially appreceates if you basically speak for her, mainly because you can get to the point (and the words) alot faster then her.
Heket will do absolutely anything to avoid you or anyone else finding out anything that embarrases her that isnt known, like her losing to the lamb.
She enjoys all meals with either you or her siblings.
Romantic:
If you pick her up in front of others for no reason you are getting the frog equivilent of a bitch slap.
She does still have a reputation to uphold to prevent the followers from being too cruel even as a member of the cult.
Okay but seriously, Heket is basically your knight in shining armor.
Someones bothering you? just tell Heket, and she will take care of it.
She loves it when you bring her snakcs while waiting for a meal to be done whenever you cook.
Can and will pass you notes of what she wants you to say to someone, if she's really annoyed bcause of something they did.
Might be dissapointed if you rephrase it, to not be as rude as what she wrote.
Shamura
General:
Them always seeking knowledge was definetly one of the things that allowed you to bond with them quickly.
You telling them about things they might find interesting, and them sharing some of the things they remember.
Shamura likes it when you remind them of small things they might forget.
They also like sharing stories of their past with you, or giving you small gifts.
Not that they cant defend themselves against other cult members who might be looking for payback (they probably can't).
But you talking some sense into the cultists heads definetly does not go unoticed.
Romantic:
Shamura probably does like cuddles, especially when comforting them.
Might forget that you gave them something and try to return it to you.
If you remind them, then well they'll probably feel a bit ashamed that they forgot one of your gifts.
Please comfort Shamura if this happens.
(sorry i couldn't come up with much for them Shamura fans).
Kallamar
General:
Kallamar is a very nervous person so you showing them kindness was definetly unexpected.
you being nice? To him, and this quickly? You must be plotting something, he thought. but when you continuesly kept showing kindness and defended him from any rude cult members, he quickly realized that it wasn't the case.
he likes it alot when you reassure him that everythings gonna be fine. This man isn't much for standing up for himself. So if you do stand up for him, when other cultists come to do whatever they'd wanna do, he'll be very thankful.
If you went through the trouble of learning sign language just to communicate with him easilier his heart basically melts (not literally though).
Romantic:
He loves holding your hand. he likes the comfort of you being around.
expect him to be with you for a majority of the time.
will hug you whenever he feels nervous if he is allowed to (usually he is).
If he's trying to talk to you about something personal he'll usually use sign language with you when alone.
Kallamar spends so much time with you that half of his stuff is probably at your place.
Narinder
General:
He was not letting anyone even try and converse with him, after his indoctrination.
Not like people were gonna try anyway, considering what he tried to do.
But theres always someone different, and that just so happened to be you.
You kept trying to start a conversation, pestering him untill he finally tried to actually speak with you.
He wasn't very happy when he finally did start talking.
Despite that you just kept coming back.
Soon he actually started trying to engage the conversations, not really having much else to do.
Small conversation became a small friendship.
Soon Narinder found himself actively trying to spend time with you , and you were more then happy to do so.
Atleast the place wasn't as bad now for Narinder.
Romantic:
This dude is for close to anything but PDA (Public displays of affection).
Will purr if you hug him.
Narinder will never admit it but he's a total cuddle bug when in private.
Will do anything to prevent the lamb from finding out because he already knows he's gonna get teased for eternity the second they find out.
May or may not actively seek you out if he's getting really needy for some cuddles.
Will have orange cat level stupid behavior if he somehow gets his hands on catnip.
The lamb / Lambert.
General:
upon first meeting you, for whatever reason you were wandering around the lands of the old faith, they immidietly asked if you wanted to become part of their cult.
Likes your dedication to the crown and the cult
If you're especially dedicated to the cult then they might read your mind (and might find out you're in love but who knows).
Definetly tries to become closer with you.
They might ask if you wanna go on walks to take a break from all the work.
If you have any problems then the lamb will be willing to do just about anything to help (not everything though).
Romantic:
The lamb definetly makes the first move.
They shower you in gifts, kisses and cuddles whenever they're not busy.
Will do a marriage ritiual as soon as you feel comfortable with it.
Will spend lots of time with you in their free time.
You're probably being put in charge of taking care of things whenever they go on crusades, mainly because they trust you the most.
Doesn't have alot of time when they're not working but they spend almost every second that they're not busy beside you
Expect surprise hugs.
Lots and lots of surprise hugs.
Alot of people are probably both jealous and happy for you because of you being with the lamb.
The lamb does not care because they got the most wonderful person in the world as their partner aka you <3.
(Hope you enjoyed my first ever headcannons)
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A Cold Kiss For Warmth
͙⁺・༓☾ - Summary: you unknowingly saved Jackie ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎from her own death.
Pairing: jackie taylor x fem!reader
Warnings: ...
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∘₊✧────────────────────✧₊∘
"I'm not jealous of you, Jackie. I feel sorry for you." Shauna spat, her words had bled out of her mouth and into Jackie like a sharp blade.
"And I'm sure everyone back home is so sad to be losing their perfect little princess," Shauna's breath hitched slightly, "but they'll never know how tragic, boring and insecure you really are," Jackie's lips trembled beneath Shauna's sentences, eyes wide and hurt - tears gradually piling upon her face, "or how high school was the best your life was ever gonna get."
"Fuck you." Jackie's words were almost silent, disintegrating into her tears.
You watched, alongside everyone else who had been settled around the fire warmed cabin. It wasn't for you to intervene; or for anyone else to intervene, you had never seen Jackie and Shauna fight - let alone with so much spite, and you figured it was best to leave them alone, though your heart felt for Jackie, Shauna's accusations were visibly going too far.
"I cant be around you - I cant even fucking look at you right now." Jackie didn't have the malice to insult Shauna, you sensed that neither of them really meant what they said, and it had just been the sickening feeling that haunted everyone after the crash, now creeping into their friendship.
It was just last week that you had really gotten close to Jackie, in school you'd usually hang out with the other girls, catching Jackie throwing glances your way in class every now and then. And you could've been caught daydreaming, the way you'd stare longingly at her; the way her hair fell onto her shoulders - how her honey eyes glowed when she looked at you.
"Hey (y/n)." She smiled, a towel around her neck after it had rained during practice. "Oh hi Jackie!" You turned to her after brushing your hair out and handing it back to Lottie.
"I just wanted to say you look really pre-"
"(y/n), hurry up we're gonna be late." Lottie interrupted, "Oh, yeah. Sorry Jackie, I'll see you later."
It was the first time Jackie had the courage to come up to you outside of being lab partners, she was confident most of the time - but when it came to you, she was helpless. You didn't even question your feelings towards Jackie, it just felt like an adoration of some sort, and you were completely oblivious to anything more than 'school friends' being between you two.
And that's how it stayed for a while, longing stares, unsaid words and random study sessions.
Though she'd be there for you when you needed her the most, and you'd be there for her - nothing more than that.
"Well that sounds like your problem, so maybe you should leave." Your mind focused back on the situation at hand, this time watching Jackie more intently, furrowing your eyebrows and clenching your jaw, Shauna's face was ridden in sweat and small tears - her hair in a messy ponytail with strands pinning to her cheek. You looked to the side, watching as everyone lowered their gaze in shame. "Are you fucking crazy Shauna? Nobody's leaving, she'll freeze to death." You stood up, voice quiet yet loud, knowing the chances of people taking your side was slim - but another death out here would cause further, unnecessary chaos. "She'll be fine." Shauna talked to you, yet her gaze was still fixed on Jackie.
"I don't even know who you are anymore." Face painted in disappointment, Jackie scoffed, then averted her look towards you, "I need to take a walk." You followed her, ignoring Shauna's sneer and the confused stares of everyone else, who had seemed to find understanding in your reasoning despite your doubts.
-
The door closed, and frost sunk its teeth into your skin, "(y/n), you don't have to come with me, she's right - I'll be fine." Her words blamed themselves, she shook her head at the floor. "It's freezing out here," both of you began walking away from the cabin, where the light stopped its reach, "you shouldn't be alone." Jackie's face stuttered, finally making eye contact with you.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
She smiled in response, drying her tears with her cold-shaken hands. The both of you slid down behind a tree, you brought your knees to your chest; hugging them. "God, how could she, after all that I've done for her." She wrapped her arms around herself. "She doesn't deserve you Jackie," your eyes trailed her expression, "it's fucked up, what she said." You said, unreasonably nervous, and reasonably shaky.
"I never even liked Jeff that much, I cant believe I let him ruin our friendship like that."
"You didn't?"
"No," her voice settled slightly, "and Shauna knew I had feelings for someone else, I guess that's why she took it as a pass to go fuck Jeff, so I couldn't hold it against her." Jackie tried her best to make up with Shauna in her head, but everything kept leading to a dead end, "But whatever, I'm just glad you're here."
"You cant be serious, you're asking me to study?" You asked, holding a math paper that said 'C' in the biggest writing imaginable - as if your teacher wanted to rub it in as painfully as possible. "Yeah, I mean you're good at chemistry right?" Jackie said, and it was true - it was one of the only subjects you were naturally good at.
"I guess, sort of?"
"So can I come over?"
"Today?"
"If you don't mind,"
"No, yeah, sure." You smiled, raising your eyebrows and packing your bags before leaving.
You had something planned with Lottie that day, though it was easy to cancel with a 'my parents are making me clean up' excuse. It didn't phase you why you were starting to make excuses not to hang out with your friends, but it was rare to talk to Jackie, and at the time it didn't look like you two were getting closer than that anytime soon.
You bit your lip, opening your mouth to speak before stopping yourself. Jackie looked at you, the cold eating away at the two of you, "Jackie, I need to tell you something." You squinted your eyes, barely seeing Jackie's face as the trees blocked the moonlight and using it to your advantage, calming your nerves. "I like you," you wanted to say more, but it felt like you were trapped, and all you could do was drag your words out while struggling to read her face.
Snow began falling onto your hair and patterning Jackie's nose, "Really?" She chuckled, you stretched your legs out and smiled with your lip hanging out slightly, "you're kidding me right? This entire time?" She asked, scoffing at her own words. "Yeah, I guess I never found the time to tell you." The snow reached your shoes, which you hadn't stopped staring at.
"Neither," You looked at her confused, "I like you too, (y/n)." You were even more confused this time, I mean she didn't like Jeff all that much - but you couldn't have been the one that she wanted instead, right? "I swear, I couldn't have told you, I thought you liked that guy from our chem class, what's his name?" She titled her head, "Matt? Are you fucking kidding me? You thought I liked Matt?" You laughed, knowing he had asked you out on multiple occasions, yet you rejected him every single time. "So? He's cute, I thought you guys were a thing for the longest time." she snickered, leaning her eyebrows as she shifted her body to face you.
Your laughs cleared, the grass had been covered in a thin layer of snow by now, and Jackie's bottom lip hid under her mouth. She watched as the snow caressed your hair, lips, nose and skin - admiring every part of you, especially your (e/c) eyes that harboured a small reflection of the moon. "You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen, (y/n)." She faintly smiled, edging closer to you. Your eyes gazed through your lashes, looking at her in partial doubt, you didn't know how desperately she wanted to tell you that for the longest time.
Wintry hands latched onto your frostbitten cheeks, her fingers grazing your jawline as her pale lips slowly found yours. Her touch was warm, her lips were softening under yours as you caved in deeper - you could almost feel her face regaining its rosy colour. You eased beneath her, your mouth tasting hers.
She pulled away, though still being mere inches from your face, "you're cold, I can feel it." Her hands traced down to your shoulder, "I'll be fine." You whispered, wrapping your arms around her neck and kissing her again, with a greater passion than the first time, she almost instantly leaned back in, with gentle confidence.
After a moment, you let out a small giggle against her mouth before bringing your arms to her shoulders and pushing her away gently, "I think we have to go." You spoke, numbness overtaking your legs and nose, Jackie brushed a few snowflakes off of you, before the both of you got up to get back to the cabin, though could've stayed there until dawn.
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