#i cant make any promises but theyre fun to write for!

[allthenamesithinkofaretaken]

Hey, if youre currently taking requests that isnt for TWaA, may i request a fic with Death and a gender neutral crow harpy reader?

Like reader has the wings, has the feathers, the talons and all. Theyre like the symbol of death, but they dont reap souls like death does. People just see them as the symbol of death, the more seen version rather than death who is usually hidden to people. People see them more than death (like actually see them, they cant really hide like death does) and people see them as this creepy strange creature that signals death. Death's companion or something

But in actuality, they hang out around large crowded areas because its easier to steal things from there (especially shiny ones) and they bring their stolen items to death because they love him and hes so <3333

Trinkets

Muerte/Death x GN! Reader

Hellooo! Long time no see! This was very fun to write, I imagined that the MC is more like Harpy Eda from The Owl House except more crow like.

Also, I unfortunately won't be able to do all the requests, I'll be leaving a few ones undone but I promise I'll finish them someday. That's because I thought I had more time during the week but I got sick and my Interiors prof had us design another bedroom so... Yeah. Hope you enjoy!

The wind in their hair, the coolness of it against their skin as they glided with the clouds in the sky, their fingers combing through the white fluff before diving down, their wings folding on their back as they did before they opened them again and landed gracefully on a nearby castle tower.

Grabbing onto the flagpole perched on the tip of the tower’s cone roof, a slight shriek escaped them as their clawed feet slipped through cone roof’s sloped sides before finally managing to get a grip and looking wistfully on the horizon, the kingdom they had dropped on looking beautiful from this height.

“I could get used to a view like this,” they huffed, eyes wistfully looking from the horizon to the familiar presence that entered. Muerte grinned up at them from the balcony of the king and queen’s room, and they slid down the roof and onto his side in no time.

“Muerte,” they greeted with a grin, leaning against the side of the railings.

“(Y/n),” Muerte greeted back, leaning back from his perch against the railings and letting his gaze fall to the door of the royal bedroom. “You’re lucky the king and queen aren’t in their rooms,” he huffed, “How’d you know no one was here?”

“I didn’t,” they grinned, which earned them a reprimanding look from the wolf. “Hey, I’ve had my fair share of trouble, I can handle it if there were any guards on sight.”

“That doesn’t make me worry any less for you,” Muerte sighed with a shake of a head, his hands already unsheathing his sickles from his leather belt. “You’re not immortal, you know.”

At the sight of the worry in his eyes, the amused look they had immediately fell away, a soft sigh pushing past their lips before raising a hand up to cup Muerte’s cheek, giving him a soft peck on the lips. “Alright, alright, I promise I’ll try and stay out of trouble this time, mi lobo de la muerte.”

They pulled away from him with a gentle smile, and the worry creases on his face disappeared just the slightest, and they could see the sight of his smile pulling at his lips. “You know I also mean no more stealing, right?”

“Uh, sorry what was that?” Muerte huffed at their antics, watching as they slowly backed away from him and onto the top of the balcony’s railings. He repeats what he said, and they let out a hiss and a slight shrug, “Ooh, okay, I think I got most of that but…”

He gave them a warning glare.

“Sorry, my ears are already getting wind logged and I can’t hear you!”

“(Y/n)—”

They jumped off the railings, their body disappearing before they flew up into the sky.

“Love you Muerte! I’ll see you later!”

The wolf could only sigh and shake his head. Watching with mild amusement as they flew to the town, probably to do what they do best.

Cause trouble.

That was something they were more familiar with other than joining Muerte when he reaped souls. And since he had some sort of cloaking magic that he could turn on any time and they didn’t, a lot of people had started to associate them with death because of their presence and Muerte’s always being so close to each other. Normally, they didn’t mind it much when people feared them for the symbolism. It gave them some sort of immunity toward hunters that wanted them dead, and that was because a lot of the people had started to look at them like some sort of warning for death, and as much as they feared them, they also, in some sense, searched for them.

Either way.

“Ay dios mio,” they swore they could hear some of the townsfolk muttering under their breaths as they swooped down to find a much better landing spot, eyes raking across the buildings until they spotted a nearby dark alleyway. When they landed, they wrapped their coat around their shoulders and threw the hood over their head, making sure to tuck away any stray feathers and hiding their wings behind their back.

The walk to the market was as usual, unbearable and completely uncomfortable with the way their wings were completely pressed to their back as if someone had wrapped a string around their body. But if it would keep people from flocking over to them, they supposed they could deal with it for a little while.

The sounds of people bartering over the prices and the usual sounds of the marketers yelling out their ‘low prices’ wasn’t unusual to hear this late in the afternoon, a grin tugging up their lips at the sight of beautiful jewelry that laced one particular stall at the side, their feet stopping in their tracks, not minding the way some people began to curse at them for halting in the middle of the path.

One jewelry in particular caught their attention.

It was silver, the only one in the bunch, but what made it catch their attention was the very familiar wolf the silver pendant was carved into. A wolf’s head, its eyes made out of circular rubies, with the familiar sickles beside each cheek. It reminded them of the crossbones that were often seen on the flags of pirate ships, except it was him, Muerte.

They reached a hand out to touch it, too enthralled by its beauty that the owner of the stall had smacked their hand away before they could think of touching it.

“Ow! Hey!”

“Don’t touch it unless I know you’re going to buy it!”

“I just want to get a closer look at it, is that so bad?”

The seller grabs it from its perch, holding it closer to his chest with a glare. “If you want to get a closer look at it, then you gotta buy it first.”

They couldn’t believe the gall—

The stall shook, and the owner let out a gasp as some of the jewelry fell to the ground with a satisfying sound that seemed to echo in their mind like a temptress, especially with the way the light glinted against its shiny surface.

The sound of the owner yelling at the person that bumped into the stall was a mere background noise when they spotted the pendant just a few feet away, a grin tugging on their lips at the sight of the owner not paying them any mind any longer and taking it as a chance to snatch it off the stall, their wings unfurling from behind their back, ready to take off.

“You better— hey!”

They didn’t bother turning back when they lifted off the sky, their laugh echoing in the sky as the noise of the entire market fell into a hush as their heads turned to the sky, watching their flying form disappear over the clouds.

---

“Muerte!”

“You better not have done the thing I told you exactly not to do,” there was an exhausted tone to the wolf’s voice, and the crow merely gave a sheepish grin as they paused in their tracks, their arms hidden behind their back.

“Uh,” they stuttered, “Not really?”

Muerte gave them a look that told them he wasn’t believing any of the words that had come out of their mouths. He may not be some sort of ‘all-knowing’ deity, but he didn’t need to be when it came to them. They should’ve known that.

He knew them like the back of his hand.

“I got you a gift?”

Muerte sighed, unable to hold the smile that tugged up his lips as he pats the empty space beside him, their eyes brightening up in response as they didn’t hesitate to tell what happened that day.

[just1gnome]

some questions for your dsmp su au!

Do you have any ideas for possible fusions, what they would look like, what gems, etc? I would be happy to make some concepts if you do (if you don't want me too thats fine also!!)

What weapons would the gems have? I have a few ideas if you need them!

i got REALLY carried away so im puttin all that under the cut

im thinking a lot of thoughts sporadically rn but OBVIOUSLY the iconic duos fuse at least once, ie clingy duo, emerald duo, (wildcard but) foolish and eret probably fused back in the day in their shared backstory to commit the Atrocities

em duo and happy duo tend to casually fuse pretty often(when the Horrors arent happening) and i think it would be CRIMINAL not to make em duo watermelon tourmaline. for happy duo tho, i was thinking black opal with primarily blue accents for their fusion, but then i remembered that i made bad a black opal with primarily red accents so i cant do that

clingy duo's easy answer would be bloodstone. so im gonna go with that one, and they usually fuse to punch things good. bee duo on the other hand, i dont think they fuse ever. its just not something they do

the schlatt/quackity fusion would be so fun to play around with theyre so awful for each other and i eat it up(the fiances have also fused and it was much better)

OHH i think maybe MAYBE in the butcher army arc when they go to techno's house, quackity makes them all fuse to fight him (he kicks their ASS) and that sorta put ranboo off fusing in a sorta "hmmm no thank you" kinda way

going back to tommy for a sec, i think MOST of his fusions are for power. like if they need to get the upper hand in a battle he'll ask to fuse but its not a common thing for him. schlatt/dream also do that but like in an asshole kinda way

i think wilbur also doesnt fuse. like an extension of his early l'manburg ideals but more personal "youre free to fuse but its not my cup of tea"

doomsday trio fused once but phil wasnt a big fan of it

this is NOT fusion related but i keep thinking about it SGFHFSDJ that one phil stream where kristin was walking around as him and got day drunk(i think about it often) i think that was her sorta 'white diamond'ing him, temporarily taking control of his body from a remote location to experience everyday gem life(ofc this was voluntary unlike white diamond's)

now WEAPONS

techno has the classic rose shield but thats about it for Gem Specific weapons, he has his sword, but he forged that himself, and of course, later down the line ranboo gifts him his axe which he ALSO made himself and everybody is shocked by this

phil has a scythe and it CAN shatter(angel of death teehee)

tommy, tubbo, ranboo, wilbur and probably a few others dont have traditional weapons. for the most part they have lights or gem powers, but no weapons as theyre not built for combat theyre built for other things!(the sword phil stabbed wilbur with was a rejuvenator that wilbur owned, but that also was not his 'Gem Weapon'. he also never used it ever and that certainly has implications)

ive been writing this for like 30 minutes thats all i got rn BUT i love a bit a' bantah and i would love to hear your ideas! if they are yummy enough i might use them perhaps no promises <333

[i-sveikata]

hi do you have a schedule for writing? or you just write whenever and update the story spontaneously? 🥰 it seems like it is usually monthly updates but i wanted to ask you. do you recommend writing by following a schedule to new authors?

i dont really have a specific schedule tbh. I just write when i have the energy and the time to do it. so because this story is really engaging to me im usually a monthly updater unless life or health or something unforeseen gets in the way.

honestly no i wouldnt? because i think it creates a lot of unnecessary pressure especially if youre worrying people wont read it because you took too long between updates or theyre not going to wait for you to finish etc etc. because once you start trying to force yourself into a pattern that youre not already doing because it works for you (and youre not doing it because of being swept up by the story and the experience itself but because of outside pressures) then its going to negatively affect your enjoyment of the whole process if that makes sense?

because at the end of the day you are writing it for you first and foremost and you can always set yourself little reminders to try and write once a day or three times a week or once a week if youre worried about forgetting about the story or losing interest or motivation or something. but honestly it is important to take breaks too!! like were not machines we cant just give and give and give indefinitely thats not a sustainable way to live and its not a sustainable way to create either.

really if its honestly not your job and youre not being paid to get things out for a specific deadline then its definitely not one of the first or most important things that any aspiring writer should be worrying about imo. like why add that extra pressure when youre still trying to get into it and develop yourself?

i might not have a writing schedule but once i sit down and start writing im in and its very easy to get immersed in it- the story just flows right out of me and its on my mind often enough that i never worry about losing interest or not ever finishing it or whatever might prompt the need for a strict schedule. because this is meant to be fun!! not homework!! so if youre the type of person who does thrive in a strict scheduled environment and that feels more comfortable to you then just writing when you can then by all means implement a schedule! theres no right way or wrong way of doing it. everyone will have their own different methods and what feels best and most natural to them.

For me i like to always have notes on my phone for when im out and about and have an idea for a scene to add to the story- youd be surprised how often good ideas come to you when youre doing tasks that dont engage your brain fully- like showering, or driving or going for walks or even just being at work and doing that. in those moments thats when the notes come in handy because no matter how much you promise yourself you will- you might not always remember it!!! so i take notes. otherwise im breaking up the chapters with mini scene outlines that i want to happen or that i will eventually write. Not every idea is straight from the brain to the page. sometimes it is just easier to do brief outlines of whats interesting or intriguing to you and then you can come back and write whatever scene that appeals most.

So for example from the latest chap one would have been like (pete secret gets revealed, mr korn uses the opportunity to get rid of him and pete gets kicked out of the main family house, then he grabs oat and they steal an ambulance, escape montage etc) and sure thats basic enough but that really works for me! thats the distinction too because everyone thinks and does things differently- you just have to find out what works most for you. so yes of course i can give you tips and examples of what i do but that will be what works best for me. you could take some of that on board or none of it and it would still be equally fine! whatever gets you writing (and enjoying it- thats the most important part) :)

[wiihtigo]

24, 42, and 49 for the last character you were thinking of/searched for

24. Ship(s) that makes you cringe.

dickbabs SWEEEEEEEEEEP

its actually incredible to me that i was completely neutral on barbara and dick as a couple before the current romance arc involving them written by TOM TAYLOR (<-enemy) in the current nightwing run. The thing is that i think theyre cute as a couple but only when theyre batgirl and robin. I think it was like a cute kid crush thing that they grow out of. and even though thats my ideal dick and barbara in birds of prey were pretty cute too (especially with the added comedy of dick gnawing off his arm with jealousy because he thinks ted kord is stealing his girl when in actuality. Um. hes not.)

dickbabs vs dickory is such a stupid ass team jacob vs team edward argument but its becoming increasingly harder not to want to shoot them both with missiles whenever i see them now. and that has to do both with what dc is doing to my girl barbara and also tom taylors writing right now is obviously him trying to own the haters and its so embarrassing and cringe. which is sad bcuz oracle and nightwing are two of my absolute favorite gotham heroes (well bludhaven for dick. yknow what i mean)

42. What’s a fandom trope you hate?

i resent bea being reduced to boosters sassy third wheel to his and teds relationship especially since its like my favorite thing that booster and bea are like funhouse mirrors of eachothers mental illness. like why does booster get all the fun in being fucked up and crazy. beas crazy too! did you see what she was doing with sigrid nansen! beatora has so little fancontent in comparison to boostle but both relationships have a lot of parallels with eachother...(listen i know my tags ratios are uneven as well but i promise i have more in the back)

49. What’s [x]’s worst character trait?

hmm well on the topic of barbara gordon, and i need to preface this with saying that i dont hate this about her i actually think its awesome and interesting. I dont hate any of my faves worst traits its what i love hte most about them....

I love that shes straight up not very good with kids. Shes good buddies with tim because hes a super genius little boy so he can hang with her on her intellectual level. but barabara gets frustrated easily and impatient when people arent as smart or as capable as her. and i think thats awesome and really interesting. shes not cruel by any means and im thinking specifically of her mentorship of cassandra cain in batgirl 2000. throughout the whole comic they have a very close sisterly bond as barbara, as oracle, mentors her in being batgirl. For anyone who doesnt know cassandra, she cant read and is non verbal most of the time. when she does speak its in short or one word responses and a lot of times she copies what she hears on tv or mixes up words in her inner monologue. Here she needed to read a kill switch phrase to stop a robot from fucking shit up, but she cant read what it says and barbara snaps at her.

this causes a rift in their relationship for a long time and they dont speak for a lot of it. to be fair barbara here was uunder a ton of stress and was operating on like 1 hr of sleep and she did apologize but this really hurt cassandra and she didnt accept her apology (right away)

while reading this does hurt its one of my favorite barbara moments because its like. shes multifaceted bitch. her snapping at her in this way makes sense and is believable for her as a character. barbara has her strengths and her weaknesses and I just think putting herself at the level of teenagers is one of her weaknesses that i think is really interesting

[metukika]

ok you needing a second to understand that tumbel in tumblr saved me from my embarrassment for having misread your message xD hell yeah haha

maybe you could write us a lil post about your favorite character & why they are that :D (soz for not doin it myself i‘m not feeling like putting anything out there today)

and don‘t decide that you won‘t ever contribute to a bigger project that touches people yet !!!!!! YOU‘RE SO YOUNG you‘ve got the whole world waiting for you and you‘re ALREADY so good at art though. your art is already touching people, no reason why that shouldn‘t work if you should ever work with others on a bigger project!!! GET OUT THEREEE i mean also take your time but IF YOU WANT THAT ABSOLUTELY SHOOT YOUR SHOT KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN FOR OPPORTUNITIES i‘d personally love to see your work in something bigger :D nothing‘s set in stone <3 <3 <3 !!!

aww thank you so much anon! idk who you are but youre so kind to me... thats so nice!

about the whole future thing... i know i have a lot of time but i think because of some stuff coming up soon (when i leave school) im stressed about the future and my decisions in it entirely. idk what im gonna do if i need to go to the military lol like what job to take... i havent started driving and i dont understand shit about all the other stuff thats attached with going to the military im just stressed in general. i dont wanna end up staying in my parents house forever ig.

but i have a lot of time and i know that even if my connection with my friends fade away when they get recruited (which is... also something that could happen... oh god i dunno how to make irl friends) i still have my family, and probably the online world too. if i open commissions im pretty sure id get some work, but i dont think i could do that too much cuz i hate drawing things i dont wanna draw.

but, again, who knows what will happen. ill be fine haha, especially if there are people like you who care enough to write messages like these. most of my online friends are from twt so its always nice to see a tumblr fan <3 thank you anon.

(im realizing how depressed this is all making me sound like i promise its just my school hammering in the importance of the military signs up like i dont even know what part of the mess ill be in most of the time theyre teaching shit that doesnt concern me. im okay, im not dying!!)

now to actually talk about my favorite character! woohoo! happy topic change!

for the two people who read this and the one thats actually gonna read till the end, im putting a cut so this isnt annoying on ur dash (note to anon: this post is so so fucking long i know u prob asked me my fav character to cheer me up but dont force urself to read this whole thing just to be polite lmaooo but id appreciate it if anyone did cuz holy shit)

something that ive realized a while back is that usually when it comes to favorite characters of media, i have a type.

when i made this the character i had in mind where souda (danganronpa), aiura (saiki k) and teru (mp100).

after making the tweet i also thought of denji (csm) who fits right in, and also bakugou (mha) who doesnt, but he looks like half of the characters i did mention lol.

i think the whole social but nice thing came to because of all those shows and stories where the popular kid in school is the mean bully.. maybe i dislike this trope cuz i havent personally experienced any kind of bullying in my school, even as an observer so i cant relate to the experience of having this type of antagonist. the worst it ever got for me was when in fifth grade a girl made fun of me for crying and no one laughed. (shes still in my class over six years later and shes really nice not ufhduh were not friends but were friendly and i dont hold a grudge). maybe its just cuz im wholesome so i dislike any type of negative character. maybe.

that might sound stupid cuz i said i like bakugou, who i used to think of constantly, like for the entirety of 2021 he was in my mind it was annoying. but idk man not all my favs fit into this category ((shinguuji, saihara, yuuko, tweek (who also looks like them! what the fuck!) yuudai from sakana (why are they all blond?!? and men. more female characters what the fuck) barf bag (yes im an object show fan good morning)))

anyways. i like the popular but nice trope is what im saying. why are they all simps? i dont know honestly only one of the characters that i mentioned at the start is simping for someone i ship them with (terumob) (but the reason i even like teru in the first place might be cuz i saw terumob art, thought it was cute, and decided to search more art. i do that with a lot of characters when i dont watch the show (from the original list ive watched all of saiki k, watched playthroughs of the first 2 dr games, watched like a season of mp100 years ago and watched like 2 seasons of mha even before that. i get my filling of plot and character from meme videos, fanart, and fanfics. i understand enough.) and i get hooked on the ship (more examples include akiangel, kiribaku and the two gay boys from evangelion. a lot of homo happening. also whatever the fic version of this is but with denji and yoshida).

about the simping and the bakugou being mean-- i accept my character's flaws!!! i dont erase them!!! bakugou is an asshole and thats why i wanna see him get punished and learn from his mistakes, even if its a little hard! a great fic where this happens (but isnt the main storyline) is quirk: knife! which is probably my favorite non ship heavy fic, check it out!

my fav characters have flaws but just like how you need to embrace flaws in the people you love, whether that means helping them get better or accepting them, i embrace these flaws cuz it makes them who they are! souda, denji and auira wouldnt be themselves if they werent pushing the lines with their crushes and idk what the fuck bakugou would be if he wasnt what he was.

alright lets actually start talking about my favorite character now.

so, right now, my favorite character of all time is-- ding ding ding-- kazuichi souda! who i already mentioned.

look at him! idk if the one and a half people who are reading this know him, but if u know denji, who is a more popular character atm, then imagine that but more wimpy.

the first time i encountered this character i was watching game grump's playthrough of the second game. i watched their first and enjoyed it but didnt really join the fandom. i didnt know anything about the second so i was going in blind like arin and dan, so theres a chance that whatever i thought about the characters was biased and connected to how they feel.

at first i really liked his design. a lot of the characters have small and complicated details but souda is probably the most simple design, not including hinata, but unlike him souda has a lot of bright colors that draw the eye in! i dont particularly prefer designs with sharp teeth but i think its a pretty nice quirk, since its another part of him that makes him look intimidating. theres a headcanon that he filed themselves but i honestly think he wouldnt do that, and prefer the headcanon that its genetic, even if it makes less sense. but danganronpa, and their designs, dont make sense. i think these little strange quirks are better when they arent thoughtout or have reason. he has sharp teeth becuz. just cuz.

if u dont know what happens in the game im just gonna say that the plot doesnt really matter, cuz really the only growth souda experiences is with his relationship to hinata (the main character) and his trust to his survivor friends that makes him stronger and convinces him to leave the virtual reality. im not gonna be talking about the plot in detail. i also havent watched the anime so im not gonna get into whatever he does there. i do know that he makes some cute faces in it, which is pretty awesome.

but, yeah, besides his design, at the start i truthfully didnt really like him lmaooo he was kind of stalkerish towards sonia (ill prob get into their relationship later), he is also a wimp but honestly... i get it hes stuck in a killing game i would be scared of anything too. i feel like of all of the cast, from all the games, souda is probably one of the best depictions of an actual teenager that might exist. of course he has his obnoxious moments, but in a way that a dumb teenager would have. i dont know when i started liking him, maybe after discovering soudam? hmm.

kazuichi is the ultimate mechanic, which is one of the talents in the game that actually gets used? he makes the communicators in chap 3 and fixes the elevator in chap 4. besides that, he is also important to the second chapter since he helped tie up komaeda and he also brought hinata to the diner, though that has nothing to do with his talent.

he learned to be a great mechanic from working at his dad's repair shop or garage or whatever its called. its mentioned that their family is pretty poor, and i think the concept of a character being at one point or another un-wealthy pretty interesting (did that come strange? sorry). he worked to help get their family money he is a good boy, he mentions being better than his dad too. he doesnt look like the typical mechanic, except from the greasy hair and jumpsuit (im talking specifically about his color scheme) and thats another one of those quirks that make no sense but i just like haha

speaking of his parents, lets talk about a popular headcanon that fans have of souda's dad (before we start i wanna state that my opinion on this topic and the topic of souda relationship towards sonia and his trust issues were all stem from an analysis video of him on youtube, if u know u know, so if i want someone more competent talking about it go there, but if u dont care enough to research it or ure only reading because u like me and wanna hear me talk about something i care about dw im gonna go into detail about these anyways

the hc is that souda's dad physically abuses him. i wanna talk about why dont agree (if u wanna skip this part ill put *** when it ends so just go there <3). this hc stems from a story he tells hinata in one of the free time events where he didnt go to his previous school trips because he wanted to save money for his family, even though he really wanted to go, and he says something along the lines of how his dad "beat the crap outta him" when he didnt go.

do i think his dad hit him? probably. i dont really know how common this type of discipline is in japan, or in places with more un-wealthy people so this might be normal to them. does that make that okay? obviously not. but if the only example we get for him hitting souda is after souda does something good for the family in his own expense, it wont make sense for his father to be mad about it, right? i think he was upset his son had to give up his happiness for them, even if it was to save money. the analysis vid said it might be souda just using more dramatized words for it. He was hesitant to tell hinata that he was picked on at school, i dont think hed just admit to being abused so casually. i think his dad might have smacked him from time to time when he was younger but probably stopped the more souda grew up. if his dad really hated him he wouldnt beat him after doing something that would benefit the dad, is what im saying.

also i think that the way souda acts doesnt reflect someone who would be regularly abused... its not like im an expert, but if we for example look at tsumiki, who was canonically abused and bullied regularly, we can see a great difference. yes, souda tends to be caught off guard or scared of stuff, but usually its less of other people and more about the situation around him. he was scared of monokuma and the monobeasts and the morning after the killing gama announcement. he's also generally not that apologist about his stupid behavior... for example he doesnt feel remorse for tying up komaeda, and even threatens to tie up kuzuryuu too. i also think he said something about wanting to punch one of the other guys? this might be cuz he tends to blurt out his thoughts stupidly and doesnt know how to hold his tongue (something that, if he was abused, would probably get him in trouble) but he never recoils from what he said. he whines about being judged, like after letting slip that he was thinking of sonia in a creepy way, but he never goes back and is afraid that someone might punish him or hurt him. like how tsumiki apologizes for the smallest thing at claims that she'll take any punishment.

it might also be because i generally dont like hcing characters with abusive parents haha. i know for a lot of characters its a part of what makes them who they are, but if thats not the case i feel like its always to excuse the character from some frowned upon trait they have.

its a bit difficult to explain so ill take an example from a different character from a different show. todoroki from mha was abused as a child, and its a part of what makes him him, and its a big part of his character, even if hes not in that situation anymore. i wont deny it. now, theres a hc that some people like to believe about bakugou's parents, specifically his mom, being abusive. this isnt canon. first of all everyone is entitled to hc what they want but a lot of the time i feel this is a way to explain his asshole behavior (also i just love mitsuki). i dont like excusing his fucked up actions and blaming his parents. i think that him being an asshole from the ideals that he himself made is kind of what made him interesting. he believes in what he learned from his own experiences that he and only he had. his stupid child thinking made him the gross person he is, and thats way more interesting than blaming his parents' behavior, like we can do with reason in todoroki's case. todoroki acts antagonistic at the start of the show because of the pressure his dad put on him.

now going back to souda, by making his dad abusive a lot of people linked that to him being a creep towards sonia. while i do see how his parents and their expectations might be a motivator, i prefer to blame souda himself for his wrong actions. i dont want to excuse his actions like that. its more interesting to see him grow from the ideals and reasonings he made himself.

***

now let's talk about his relationship with hinata! woo!

canonically, hinata is the person souda is closes to in the game, even though most of the time hinata is just tolerating his stupid behavior. except in his free time events maybe. their relationship is probably the biggest character development souda gets.

lets talk about his past a little more.

souda tells hinata that he used to be picked on for looking like a nerd. he had black hair (but i hc it more like dark brown, because reminder this is a post gushing about my fav character first and an canalization second), brown eyes (in hc world dull pale brown cuz a lot of the char's eyes are dull and pale colored) and glasses (hc: thin and rectangle shaped). he's not really a nerd... except that he's probably good at math and that type of things, since he builds machines and all. if i remember correctly, he says his bullied got away with what they did because he tends to be naive and trusts too easily. he was also used by his best friend that cheated off of his test, blamed souda for it (which he didnt really mind, showcasing how much not a nerd he is if he doesnt care about his studying and tests like that) and then kinda ghosted after feeling bad. but at the time souda was really heartbroken and felt betrayed, this whole situation gave him trust issues because that his naive heart cant tell when someone really wants to be his friend or if they'll drop him when they dont need him anymore.

souda and hinata start off being friends because souda didnt like any of the other guys enough (fair enough, hinata is the most normal one lol) and he tolerated him enough to go to the diner on the second island to spy on the girls with him. at the time kuzuryuu was still an asshole to everyone, but the two do get friendlier after the second trial (survivor boys bff agenda. i did say "bff coded" didnt i?)

souda tells hinata that after his ex best friend left him, he kinda went through something-- he dyed his hair, put in contacts, and pierced his ears (which i like to think was really scare to him) (and i assume this is when he started to wear bright colors, but i like to think he was always a fan of them (aiura and teru kinnie)) to make himself more intimidating (like i said in the list! remember the list?!) so that he wont be picked on. i assume the bullying he experienced was more emotional that physical, and he was probably called names for his nerdy appearance and was made to do tasks for toxic friends and somethings like that. tsumiki was physically bullied and she has bandages all over her design while souda rolls up all his sleeves and has his collar bone exposed while there is no marks on him. maybe he's have some scars from beginner's mechanical mistakes but thats hc territory.

anyways, because of his appearance change, he got some attention from flirtations girls and said that it had intimidated him. i imagine that while he was in his nerd looking mode, he didnt get much attention from the other sex so when they only started approaching him with the assumption he's some punk badass, that was probably a bit overwhelming for him and thats why he has a strained relationship with the female sex. he does kind of sexualize the girls, specifically in the second chapter, but honestly its not really that bad. it kind of even feels a little forced, like he said nanami had "huge jugs" and wonders if this "is what moe gap is" or something like that but he doesnt even say anything about wanting her lmao. the only girl he really shows any interest is sonia, and he mostly gushes about her beauty, instead of her body. not that thats really any better ofc.

he does get along with some of the girls or at least acts normal and not incel-y towards them, like whenever he's angry at saionji, when he felt awkward next to tsumiki or when he made minimaru for owari (though he did mainly do that to impress sonia). when alter ego enoshima suggest putting him between her boobs or whatever batshit crap she said he just yelled he's get crushed, so like. good for him for not being toooo bad. so yeah i do think there are reasons why souda's best friend woudlnt be a girl (for now, at least) and thats why it really is hinata.

and while hinata has other friends, his and souda's connection is special <3 some examples: he is friends with nanami, but they dont really get each other, or at least hinata doesn't feel too connected at her at times cuz shes like a robot and doesnt really get emotions to the full extent. canonically, his and komaeda's relationship is just not... bros, yknow? whatever it is its not "bros". he and souda are bros. i know that he and kuzuryuu consider each other brothers but i feel like while the friendship they have is great, hinata would be more comfortable just letting loose and being stupid with souda. they could connect by being stupid together and distracting one another from the bad in the world by being fun. cuz souda can be fun when he isnt stressed.

but since souda is an emotional character (i dunno if i mentioned this, if u didnt know souda beforehand hes emotional as shit and cries constantly, my beloved) they can get close the two of them emotionally and are empathetic enough to be able to comfort each other. that is, when souda trusts his enough to do that.

thats right. as much as id like to say souda is loyal like a dog, he doesnt really show that in the game lol. because of his experience with his ex friend, souda has trust issues, which i think i already touched upon (idk this is so fucking long im tryna go thru this one topic at a time but good god) and these issues come up in his and hinata's relationship, mainly chap 4. to put it simply cuz honestly the plot doesnt really matter in this context: souda suspects hinata to be a traitor, and because in chap 4 the characters are not allowed to eat, this probably makes him more stressed and causes him to think even more rationally. after the chap is over, in souda's last free time event, he invites hinata to the beach and order him to punch himself.

his actions are really silly here, but basically: hinata shows in souda trust, which makes souda feel like a bad friend, because he couldnt bring himself to trust hinata even though hinata didnt do anything wrong. he feels that their friendship is unfair and that he's the cause of this problem. so i guess he knows he'll get into an argument or a fight because of it, or maybe he wants to give hinata a reason to not trust him so he bring hinata to the beach so they could fist fight. but souda doesnt like to harm people cuz soda is a good boy tm so he asks hinata to do the work for him (which he does not do lol. they communicate and talk like normal friends). this is where souda tells hinata about his past being bullied, after in the last free time event hinata said he could see souda hanging out with the cool kids, so this is where he confides that hes not a cool kid. anyways souda comes to the conclusion that hes more scared of being a bad friend and a coward because of his trust issued that actually being betrayed, and tells hinata that he'll trust him. hooray!

in my mind they are suchhhh good friends. i dont mind shipping souda with a lot of the characters, but it think their friendship is the most important to me. i love them!

now lets get into his relationship with sonia!

i do, in fact, think that his crush on her is fake. i do think he believes in it. but he does not realize that the created a version of her brought on by her general politeness, her status as a princess and her beauty, in his mind that every day strays farther away from the real sonia. he denies her liking of the occult and other scary stuff that turns him off and he acts shocked when she admits to being a virgin (yikes. at least he doesnt really shame her. i think it just ruins his image of her-- again, yikes-- but he ignores it mostly. like he ignores her, the real her, most of the times)

i dont know why he needs a romantic relationship specifically so desperately, but i can think of why he wants that puppy love admiration that he has for her. she, or at least the way he makes her in his mind, is wildly out of her league. sure he wants a girlfriend, but deep down he knows hell never get her. thats why when she turns him down again and again he only gets hurt for like a minute. she even suggests she would rather he be the blackened in the 4th trial and he gets over it pretty quickly. this is the reason he wants to like someone out of his reach so much-- because he cant get hurt from her. he isnt being betrayed or heartbroken like his ex best friend did to him (yes this is about the trust issues again) because he never expected to be with her in the first place. by expecting failure by chasing a girl that is so so out of his league (a pretty perfect princess) he knows what he gets when hes turned down. to him, this is better than actually making an effort with someone he is genuinely attached to because in that case he might actually get his feelings hurt. we see this with his relationship with hinata, though it isnt in a romantic sense. sadly, after they become close friends, he still chases after sonia, but that might be because the player isnt guaranteed to play all of souda's free time events.

this stuff probably will take time for souda to understand. ofc this doesnt really justify his actions and creepy behavior towards her... i like to think that at some point (i constantly forget that dr is a game about killing each other and the apocalypse, but ig this can take place in here too since they both survive) he understands where his problem stem from, maybe with a conversation with hinata or kuzuryuu and he learns and he asks forgiveness from sonia and changes his behavior. the long and hard way!!! my boy did something stupid and he has to make up for it!!!! he will take responsibility because thats what good character writing is!!

itll probably be difficult to come to terms that the girl in his mind, that i do believe he actually fell in love with, is not real. he will cope <3

briefly i'd like to mention souda's and kuzuryuu's relationship i think they are bffs #2 honestly i feel that the both of them plus hinata could be the best trio they are such wholesome guys from all corners of the bro spectrum let the be friends<333 idk maybe even add owari. owari and souda sibling energy <3 this is just hc territory at this point. mioda and souda sibling energy!!!!! for more kuzuryuu and souda friendship read the fic Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi's Guide to Despair Disease: A How-To Take Care of Your Friends(?) Without Spiraling Out Of Control Story. still a wip.

hmmm that was a lot. lets talk about some hcs cuz believe it or not i dont just think of his as what he is canonically, but also what he could be!

ok lets talk about appearances (still canon atm:) he is short-- one of the shortest guys in the cast cuz fuyuhiko and teruteru dont count (thats a plus) and he is, sadly, pretty ripped. it makes since cuz he prob carries heavy stuff and moves his arms a lot for his talent of being a mechanic but when a (male) character is TOO ripped and not for a good reason (for example theres a good reason why nidai or oowada are physically strong cuz of their talents, and some characters are just himbos that deserve it like momota) i just look at them like :|. but it think souda deserves some strong arms <3 he is a cuddler. he would. i just dont think he's impressively ripped. like i think he could sprint fast, but not for long, and that girls wouldnt flawk him for his arms (if they already knew who he was) cuz all in all he is still a wimp loser and he will stay as such, please and thank you.

im a big fan of his narrow eyes. theyre just. dont make sense on him i love it. just like the sharp teeth, he is blessed with looking the opposite of his personality.

now lets talk about post canon appearances! in the world of canon, where the most tragic event in history happens and they were a part of the despair refinements and they live the neo world program (i always forget they dont live in my lil modern day normal aus, ugh), i think he would wake up still looking like how he did in his depair era. idk how long theyre like that but this is my personal hc: hair that reaches his chest, some ugly dulled down pink still sticking to the tips of his messy hair, no hat </3 but his hair is long enough that he doesnt have that hedgehog thing going on </3, no contacts, no glasses, probably scars over his arms and one over the side of his lips like that rio penguin from madagascar (also curse that show for making my tiny stupid child brain think there are penguins in the desert. at least there are such a thing as beach penguins... hmm). i think he would cut his hair to be shorter that it is in canon, a bit longer than hajime's and would resemble saihara's except brown, parted and no ahoge. he wold be dispensation by the length. he would also wear a cap (the normal way) and with his natural colors back, he would look very snuggble :)) he would hug everyone he would be the comfort giver at least to the survivors (this is the part where u realize how insame i am for him lol)

in a world where the end of it didnt happen, i feel like he would feel kind lonely for a while after school, and wouldnt care enough to wear contacts and would go back to glasses, and he wouldnt dye his hair (i just really like his naturality okay i know i said i liked him at first for his colors but this is character growth! he is learning that he doesnt need to be intimidating to get friends!!!) his hair would be a little longer than canon but not by much. i just have this au where he works in an office and there he meets kamukura (who, personality wise is just hinata but depressed) and they become bffs dont at me, and this is how he looks in that au, wearing a button down without the tie and the sleeves rolled up. i do think hed wear obnoxious colors in his free time tho <3

maybe i should get into ships a little? mostly i shipped him with tanaka because i love me some rivals to lovers that isnt angst filled and is mostly just petty. theys either be salty towards each other or tanaka would be very intense in his friendship and souda would be tsundere-ish, not the obnoxious type tho. imagine how denji acts towards yoshida. (denji and souda are actually really alike. before i knew anything about csm my twt mutual told me id prob like denji cuz i like souda and.. well he was right)

but recently i dont really focus on shipping souda with anyone as much as i focus on his friendship with hinata (am i the only one who watched gg compilations and put their faces behind the silly conversations? like i imagine their sprites laughing while the video plays. is that weird? them and also saihara&momota. cuz theyre the same relationship!!! tactful mc and their friendly dumb bro! they!!!). also if u recall i made that drawing of souda with a bunch of ships so its not like loyal lol.

also why are souda and tanaka together constantly in the anime... i think its the end song where theres a slide show of all the characters in class in places like a picnic and the beach and stuff and the two of them are almost together. theyre at the very least friends. that dynamic where they both look intimidating but theyre both so fucking stupid. frienemies. <333 they are so <333 theyd be friedns at least!!! thank you for the anime for realizing that.

i also like to imagine that he and tsumiki would be friends <3 they were both bullied, they both cry a lot and arent really taken seriosuly, at least when it comes to their emotions. i think theyd hug and cry together and be friends :) also as couple they could be very cute.

i dont really know what more to say... i think this is it! i dont know what about kazuichi souda makes me love him so much. he is flawed but not to the point of being unlikable. he is unique but can easily be related to! i care about him so much... the amount of aus i come up and put him in... i dont post so much about him, but know he is my love. ofc i dont have romantic feelings for him some ppl just thirst over their favs i wanna preface that aint the case. not cuz of his age (im close to him in age) but cuz i just... dont feel and romantic or thristy feelings towards anyone so istg if anyone says something stupid to me about that.

thats all! i think this is the longest post ive ever made? when i got this ask last night i thought id write about all those characters i mentioned at the start but then when i went to bed i thought about my answer and realized i have a lot to say lol.

to the one person who actually read until the end, if u even exist (who knows myabe this was for nothing, i still had fun), you're insane. and i hope u have a great rest of ur day. if u didnt know who souda was before this... well u certainly do now (also why did u read this?) sometimes i just gotta rant about something i adore haha. its been a while since i went all out cuz me and my irl dont watch the same shows. i hope i made whoever read this love souda! at least a little!

this post is 5787 words long... im not rereading this

[eldritchmochi]

A N T for that alphabet ask game

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

okay uuuuh i mean, obviously shadowgast i have only written like 300k of it in the past few years. im also quite the fan of ashrym/dashrym and callowmore (tho i like my callowmore on the platonic side personally). i will happily make the dirt wizards kiss ANYONE i do have a widomauk fic in the works and i have an idea for a caleb/yussa fic percolating and theres that one porny art by newt with c3 era caleb paired with ashton and orym that im just :lasereyes: yes i will one day write something for it i stg. also fun fact my First Ship for cr was beauyasha like, ep one. i got like 30 seconds into their first interaction and immediately texted cherry at like two am like PLEASE TELL ME THEYRE A SHIP and lo, they were cannon fucking incredible

outside of cr.... stucky, my beloved, especially with skinny steve because i love that sickly twink; big brother hobie creating Situations for gwen and miles (its hard being wingman to two people when you want them to kiss each other and also theyre idiots); kylux, obvs; rey/finn/poe/rose in basically any combination (i wish i didnt have One Hyperfixation Only type adhd because i would LOVE to write my rey/finn/rose idea where rey and rose are mechanics and finn is having car trouble and then they double team him in the office dont ask me why they have straps in the filing cabinet this is pwp); with hs at one point i would literally randomly generate pwp ideas. i didn't often finish them but it was a good exercise especially in characterization but i was mostly read davekat, daverose, any combo of erisolkat, and davejohn because i fukken pavlov'd myself into liking the ship lmao

shit this is gonna get long here is a read more

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

hhhh i am so sorry if this sounds mean but the bulk of why i dont read a ton of cr fic when i was constantly devouring kylux fic largely boils down to two things

1. the technical stuff is eeh and 2. there is just not a ton of nuance in characterization or plot

both results in me being perpetually frustrated whenever i try to read most of what i open. theres been some gems!! theres also been a lot of stuff with promise where i can tell in a couple years the writer will knock it out of the park!!! but theres also a god awful amount where i'm just like that is not how dicks work lmao

i am sure a lot of that is because the cr fandom skews a lot younger than kylux (where folks are like 20-30 on average instead of 35-50 kinda younger) plus cr has a LOT of esl speakers compared to kylux whereas a TON of kyluxers have degrees in literature or library science, so like, it makes sense that there's a difference, but it still drive me bonkers that i cant just open a fic and read it without closing it halfway through because its too one note :I

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

nope!! i am very ship and let ship in all regards. there are many things i enjoy (like short!essek or the idea that caleb would and probably has made out with all of his friends) that crop up repeatedly across my fic but i'm down for basically any good faith interpretation and i LOVE when someone writes a weird headcannon so well i have to steal it

there are many letters left of this ask meme if anyone else wants to send me a q!! pls enrich the mochi this is fun

[unlimitedhorsepower]

i mainly blog about media interests i have but i actually care a lot about politics and yknow common human decency. i own two cats, and i owned my late finnhorse mare for over a decade. i miss her and still love horses a lot.

i allegedly study cultural anthropology at an university and used to study equine masseusing and art. however im kinda just surviving on disability pension rn. feel free to ask about anything else, i love talking!

right now ive dedicated this blog to t&b ryan goldsmith for funsies but i like various things. more than you could imagine

queue posts once per day and i basically only queue things unless im actively making new posts

i make a bunch of posts that i dont tag at all. good luck finding them bc i sure fucking cant find them. some posts i just end up deleting anyways

i rarely go into any tags bc i have brain fungus but if you wanted to show me a post by sending it to me i would probably love to see it!

i dont usually follow back bc of the aforementioned brain fungus and instead skim through the latest things on the blogs of ppl interacting with me (if you wonder why i reblogged something from you randomly)

even if i dont reply in the case i get really busy irl etc, i still always read everything sent to me, every single reply, tag and ask!

my art tag: #gabriels doodles

wildly varying quality/effort

i do take requests if you want to try your luck in my ask box

my art-only blog, where i only reblog finished-enough art (im so slow at writing captions ill put my art on here one day for real): @limitedhorsepower​

other miscellanous tags & fun facts about me:

#ryanyurikeith

the sun, the sky and the moon with extremely congruent life issues... its so deep and their themes go perfectly together

#gabriels ouroboros kings

barnaby & ryan & keith (side platter of ryan/keith)  

the sternbild royalty (king of heroes x2 and the wandering gravity prince) as antagonists.

theyre all part of ouroboros for different reasons, but more loyal to each other than the organization for various reasons

#gabriels salaryman heroes

ryan/yuri/keith mainly, self-indulgent joke about high school romance tropes in an office building 

more fun facts about me:

as you can see i have a few different T&B AUs that i may post about or just totally forget and never make content for again despite them being perfectly mapped out in my mind but i love to share facts about them

if you ever interact with me here and thought that my answer didnt make sense, it was probably just that my brain (ADHD&co.) actively works against me and i may make really bad typos or straightup forget to type half of the words in a sentence. but hey. i did my best. never be afraid to ask for a clarification though

i also genuinely suffer from being overtly verbose (again... my brain...) and please dont feel pressured to read something if i sent you an extremely long DM reply or made a really long-winded reblog or something. i just communicate like that but i dont mind if you cant read it LMFAO.

my long sentences makes me seem really serious sometimes even when im not but im very friendly i promise!

and let me know if my typing is hard to read, i can switch to proper capitalization and punctuation if needed

[abunchofraccooons]

Yk what

fuck it

PROJECT IDEA RANTTTT

Ok so the first idea which ive admittedly had for awhile

Is making videos based off of the Gregaverse Creators Shinanigians series 

Little edit like things where the comic is the same nothings changed except for instead of a comic its a little video

However i have 21 left to do and there are 25 in total so doing them all will take a bit of work but i think i can manage(somewhat) 

They could be dubbed or i could just add music and sound effects to the video w/ the regular text bubbles showing up w/ no dub 

I like the dubbed idea better but then again for any of this to work i need every creator includes consent so thats why i didnt wanna talk abt this one

I cant promise everyone can consent and this is a pretty cool idea but im not gonna post my friends w/o their consent thats just rude imo

__

Second idea

Youtube channel

Yk like those youtube animation channels that post storytimes and rants and some other stuff?? yeah i wanna do that

Origionally i wanted to be a streamer and my friend saying that id be a funny one when i mentioned it in a call made me want to be one more

However my schedule is absolutely everywhere so i wouldnt be able to do steady streams like id like to

So a youtube channel works better!!

I can premake videos and have them ready to post on a schedule like id like it to be 

__

Third idea

DT COMIC SERIES

Itd be like the books up to a T so basically you can read the comic or the book and get practically the same story

Except the book will have more extra details and the comic would be more.. graphic

Itd be fun to do 

A great comic idea

Plus i already have atleast 20 pages worth of story done and posted maybe more

I like it but itd prolly be started way after i catch up w/ my current projects

__

Forth idea

A Gregaverse creators series except its based off of persona rps 

This one is a good one but i think itd take a bit of me warming up to before i can manage it

Its a great idea 

I love it

However i have alot of anxiety w/ writing a character right so writing another persons persona?? anxiety through the goddamn roof

But the rp part makes it simpler due to the fact that well they play their own character and all id have to do is write it into a story fill in a few blanks and boom!! story

Again my friends consent but itd take awhile to start anyways due to the fact im drowning in WIPs so i wont have to ask for awhile

__

Fifth idea  

Songs

I can write i can sing so songs would be a great outlet for me

In theory

Ive tried this before and became very dysphoric over my voice in the recordings as it sounded wrong to me

Not to mention my phones microphone is shit so id have to wait a long time until i can

__

Sixth idea

Comissions!!

I want to do comissions for a multitude of reasons 

I need the money for my savings  I want to start making money independently Itd cure boredom Plus itd get ppl some costum content!!

I already have ideas for prices and what i would comission

For example my favorite ones of these ideas is picture oneshots

I draw you a picture based off of who and what you want the story about then write abt a 3-4k word oneshot abt the drawing

The price idea for that one was 15-25USD but i think itd be worth it

The comissions would mainly be writing though as im still working on my art skills 

I dont think theyre good enough for professional comissions so id prolly have the main focus on writing and stories

However i did have the idea of including added pictures

Such as you commissioned a base story of 5 chapters and decide “yk i rlly want an art peice abt this spesific part” 

You could ask and pay for it!!

It be maybe 10-15USD per picture bc i plan on making this pictures extremely detailed

__ 

Thats all the ideas for now so-

I might reblog w/ more ideas but feedback is always welcome

[b1genderisms]

pinned post!!

my listography / my pronouns.page / my tag guide

about the mod:

hi, im quetzal/claudia/spencer, im 19, and i use he/she/it pronouns. im bigender (fem guy-leaning boygirl), im aromantic + bisexual, and i wanted a dedicated place for posting about gender stuff. my main is @cactusfru1ts, if you wanna check that out. i also have a longer list of labels i use on my listography but thats more for fun, my gender gets kinda weird sometimes lol.

about the blog:

my current plan is to use this blog to reblog posts relating to gender, especially being bigender, and maybe make some original posts about it sometimes. i will probably post a mix of silly and serious stuff, so one of my priorities is to decide how to tag more triggering stuff. ill also probably end up reblogging labels i like and maybe some gender envy stuff because its my blog and i make the rules, but again, im going to come up with tags for that as soon as possible.

(let me know if you want me to tag for something specific, by the way, i cant promise that ill remember 100% of the time but i will absolutely try! the only thing im not willing to tag for is words like “queer” or “transsexual” - if you dont want to see the word queer, maybe just dont follow queer people instead of trying to make them censor their own identities.)

i dont have a dni because i find them confusing and exhausting to write and to read, and i honestly dont care that much who reblogs my posts as long as theyre doing so with good intentions and not using them to spread hate or anything, but i will block people for being queerphobic, racist, sexist, ableist, saneist, or otherwise hateful in my notes.

im already in the habit of writing image descriptions for original posts, but i simply do not have the energy to id every post i reblog, as much as id like to, so i cant promise that everything here is going to have an id, sorry. for now ill be using “id in post,” “id in alt text,” or “no id” for posts with images, but i might forget sometimes- please let me know if i mistag something, because i do want to try and be as consistent as i can here.

this post, along with the rest of this blog, is a work in progress!! i will be adding more information once i have a better handle on how im going to run the blog, and ill make a post about it any time i make substantial edits to this post or the tag guide.

[unrequitedundeserved]

i feel like people stop liking me when they get to know me

it really sucks, and i dont get whats so wrong about me. It feels like a weight on my chest, and its cold, and chilling and isolating. I can never guess what it is. in any situation im somehow the outsider. ive just come to accept it, and i have friends, but we are basically our only friends. and theyre across the country. when i get to know people at school it goes nowhere. I hate it, theres no real connections here, If i open up to someone, and i dont mean spill all my traumas or experiences or whatever, I just mean be like my old self, be like the “cainy” that my mom knows, i think they get distant. i asked one friend to hang out all the time and he always says no. I also tried to get to know a girl and got rejected before I even got the chance to ask her if she wanted to hang out. I try to laugh it off but that weight looms, waiting to press down on me once again. my mom said Im no longer her “cainy” i look like a grown ass man. I think im too sensitive, everything gets to me and everything i overthink. Why cant i still be your little boy? Do i look so different? Do you no longer see me the same? What would my dad say if he saw me? Does he look different too? 

Im scared to talk to my dad or see him in person, I think he has gray hair and seeing him older will make me cry, the thought of it makes me cry. And hes gonna die thinking i hate him but Im so mixed up in the head I just cant face things anymore things get too real. im too vulnerable and maybe thats why people dont like me, im so quiet i remember one time a girl caleld me “stand offish” but i was just walking down a hallway. 

Do i look so different to people? I was already unnoticed before so whats the difference? I dont want to be like some shut in incel wierdo I just feel so alone here, or anywhere. At dinner talking to my cousin i felt like i was talking to a stranger, i felt the same way with ym aunt. I adopt so many different identites or try to attach my self to things but im just me. I wish i could still be cainy or the energetic happy curious kid you remember that you even wrote a letter to me describing how ive changed and im no longer that kid. Do you also wonder what happened to me? do you blame yourself for it? do you think your a bad mother? Im crying as i write this. I love you, i love a lot of people, Im sorry i dont show it something is just wrong with me so deeply wrong, was i just bullied? was it because I got caled a deformed child and got my looks made fun of for years? did that change me or was it high school teachers kicking me out of their class becuase I was too stupid and putting me on suicide watch. Do you wish I was a different kid? sometimes I forget that I was a mistake, and you didnt mean to have me. Im sorry, im sorry that you couldnt be with that man that you would write letters in red ink to, that sounds like real love to me and i Robbed you of that. My existence robbed you of finding real love and im sorry, I am cain the murder the cursed doomed to walk alone. I cant pay any price higher than that so this is my repentance. Your not a bad mother, your going to grow old and get gray hair and die and I will be there i promise, but i still will wonder if I am a mistake to you, i remember one time you asked me why cant i be like lee, was that the son you wanted? im not angry as i write this, not in the slightest, i actually feel guilty. guilty that i cant be what you wanted, not the son or the type of son, i became a quiet loser and I wonder if you would be happier if you still got to write letters to that man you loved. I never feel angry at these things, i always put the guilt on me. 

I wish you couldve been happier, but I feel like your going to die feeling like this, and i wont get to change that because I cant. Dad will also die thinking i hate him, my life is so fucked up and I dont know how to change it. I cant change me. 

When that girl rejected me I listened to “Tonight, Tonight” on the way home. I opened the gate and checked the mail as the song hit its climax, and started shaking in tears, everything was too much then. But I wasn’t mad, I was just learning to deal with that as a person. I did like her but she was going to travel to paris and then the world, what could i give to someone like that? someone who has seen everything there is to have and would somehow choose me? It was impossible from the getgo, but for some ignorant reason I still wondered the possibility.

This is getting to long, im so goddamn wierd.

[quaranmine]

for some reason ao3 decided to be rovinphobic today and doesnt let me comment on htbahb properly? so i thought id just paste the comment here :o

when i saw u talking abt this fic on tumblr and when you started uploading the first few chapters, i was so so excited for this story. cant believe i hit a reading slum exactly as you uploaded most of it </3 but! im back now and i immediately went back to binge read this over the last two days, it has been so much fun :D first of all, yeah the concept is genius obviously. season 8 really dumped the wildest things on all of us and just expected us to be normal abt it huh. really glad somebody picked up the souleating storyline again, it had soo much fun potential and yeah you hit all of it. the themes?? and narratives?? in this story?? have been driving me insane theyre so good. going from what it means to be human to is this really me if im always wearing a facade to my identity not as a human or watcher but as a hermit sososososososo good. i have developed all the feeling for the way you portray mumbos and grians relationship like. yeah. yeah they really are that close huh. of course they end up soulmates with the most unfortunate timing possible. of course they do. i dont think ive ever felt as soft as when reading the preening scenes. ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS TOO THO like skyduo!!!!!!!!! siblinghood is real they invented it. impulse scar everyone!! adored scar taking jellie to the void with him bc ofc. ofc he would. and the scene with jimmy ooo he really is Your Guy huh. "Jimmy held his secrets so close to his chest that people never even knew he had them" ough ough ough ough ough my man my boy my lad. i think having read the listerner!jimmy fic before that also added soso much. grian really saw the dream smp and said no thank u <3 and i think that was very correct of him BUT YEAH overall? amazing writing epic characterizations so many little lines that made me stop and just rethink how i think abt these characters haha. i am afraid i must plagiarize all of your ideas in my brian 😔 ur watcher concepts are simply too good to not be canon I HOPE U HAVE A GREAT TIME WRITING THE SEQUEL I CANT WAIT TO SEE IT

ROVINNNN MY ABSOLUTE BELOVED <3333333 first things first thank you so much for this ask i have read it over and over and i love it <333 also i would have replied to it the day you sent it but you send it like. just a few hours before i got on a plane to go to canada so i ended up a Bit Distracted and did not answer so so sorry

IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE THEMES!!! i go a bit insane everytime anyone comments on them because it is by far my favorite thing that i did with the fic, which was explore that concept of humanity/inhumanity/self-identity.

mumbo and grian's relationship...they make me ill! they make me ill. it's like...idk as much as LOVE desert duo, when it comes to my own writing i seem to just write mumbo and grian over and over again. they're just so. yeah. <3 im glad you like the preening scenes there will likely be more of them. it's just such an easily intimate type of scene you know? and the fact that grian up until this point has most done it alone (minus pearl helping sometimes), which is pretty uncomfortable and tedius when he can't easily reach his own back. and im so glad you appreciate scar taking jellie into the void he would never abandon her <3 it was one of my fave funny/lighthearted parts of the series

SLDFKJSLFJSFKFSF YEAH. YEAH JIMMY IS MY GUY. in a fic about grian and mumbo i manage to still insert jimmy solidarity brainrot into it. he'll be in the sequel too--not in any major role but i promise you he will There at some point because empires minorly factors into it. I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU LOVED THAT LINE. i know that i say every line someone quotes is my favorite but that might actually be one of my favorites in the whole fic. the Lonesome Dreams backstory for jimmy was in the works for a long time before I ever wrote the fic, since i came up with that before i even came up with htbahb. so I absolutely intended everything from that fic to be implicated in that line <3 also you're right, i think lonesome dreams does add to it. i may or may not put it in the series, but lonesome dreams is also planned to work with other series as well, so idk

AND YESSS THE DSMP REFERENCE i had a lot of fun with it. i chose blue and gold for the door because it reminded me of l'manberg uniforms and was less obvious than green for dream. i also like my other slight dsmp-adjacent throwaway in mcc too, where when mumbo joins the server tommy comments in chat about seeing him as a father figure (mcc19 does take place after that one collab video...just sayin')

thank you for this review i loved every second of reading it <3333 i hereby give u and other authors permission to take my headcanons and ideas. if u like directly copy/reference a bunch of things, i'd like a shoutout but otherwise i dont care because i dont own ideas and anything anyone writes is likely to be different anyway because it's their brain you know? so def feel free to use anything here <3

i am having a great time writing the sequel!! i actually have an update (not...chapter update. status update) to post no it later this week :eyes: because i finally reached a point where i can make proper progress on it. aka i was able to work out a lot of details and planning and am in the midst of writing it as fast as i can

[fourdaysofrain]

I have a prompt idea, if that's okay! Tony's night time routine with two highly active children. I really love your blog and think it's amazing! I hope you never stop writing because it inspires a lot of people and you really are amazing at it! 😎💕✨

I love you so much, you’re so sweet! This one kinda got away from the prompt, but I hope you enjoy!

Read on AO3

Tony knows it’s getting late when Morgan doesn’t object to him telling FRIDAY to turn off the television after the movie had finished. He looks over to his side and sure enough, she’s snuffling softly while tucked under his arm. He lets himself relax with the heat of her small body for just a moment as he watches the snow lazily fall outside the window of his Manhattan apartment. He wants to stay in the moment forever, but he’s learned from when she was little that he can’t handle sleeping on couches, no matter how cute she looks. (Well, that is to say, his back can’t handle it.) He adjusts her slightly so he has her secure in his arms and starts to stand. 

While he’s standing up, she starts to move against his hip. No dice on the seamless transition from couch to bed, he supposes. Her eyes blink at him, big and brown and full of the purest form of love. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to that.

“Bedtime, little lady,” he says softly, still afraid to break whatever spell was set over the scene. 

She responds with a slow blink and a sigh as she pushes herself further into his chest.

The walk to her bedroom is taken at a slow and comfortable pace. Tony’s still too stubborn to stop carrying his daughter to bed, but he knows it’s only a matter of time before she’ll be too big to carry. Maybe he can go back to the gym and get some muscles. Or put some more motors in his prosthetic. 

Morgan doesn’t speak until Tony has her successfully tucked into her bed. When she does, her small young voice cuts through the soft silence of the wintery night. 

“Tell me a story.”

“Once upon a time,” he starts, “Your dad saved the universe.”

She frowns at that, unamused. “A real story.”

“That’s a great story, you’ll be learning about that story once you start school.” Even as he’s saying that, he leans over to the small bookshelf beside her bed and picks a book out. “Where did we leave off with Wilbur and Charlotte then, huh?”

“At the fair!” At the prospect of a bedtime story, all the residual sleepiness leaves her eyes. Oh, well. It’s not like Tony has anything better to do. 

Tony starts to flip through the book, looking for the dog-eared page. He opens his mouth to start reading, but before he can start, he hears a thump and muffled footsteps coming from the living room. In lieu of reading to Morgan, he quickly puts the book back on the bookshelf and gives her a kiss on the forehead. 

“Stay right here, baby. Daddy just forgot his phone in the other room,” he whispers, not wanting to worry her. She groans at his retreating form but doesn’t say anything else.

Tony walks down the hallway, shaking his prosthetic to make sure it’s online. The small arc reactor in the palm flicks on and lights his path towards the source of the noise. The light is on in the living room. He creeps down the hallway and slowly pokes his head around the corner, right arm ready to fire. But as soon as he scouts the room, he relaxes and enters the room fully. 

“Kid, what’re you doing here?” 

Peter jumps at the noise and turns around, which reveals a small but slowly growing patch of blood on his suit. “Tony? What’re you doing here?”

“Last I checked, this was my apartment,” he says as he grabs a first aid kit from a closet a few feet away. “Now take off the suit and lay on the couch.”

“Mr. Stark,” Peter whines, elongating the vowel, “I don’t want to get blood on your stuff.”

Tony grabs the antiseptic and gauze from the kit. They learned early on that for most injuries, Peter doesn’t need stitches. “On the floor, then. I swear kid, I’m going to invest in those grandma-covers for furniture.”

Peter, ever the polite kid, is laying on the carpet in his boxers by the time Tony’s ready to help him. He gets right to work with cleaning the blood away from the wound, ignoring the creaking in his joints as he leans over the kid. 

“What was it this time, then?”

Peter gives an airy chuckle. “Um, Santa, actually. One of the Red Cross people that like, waves their bell on the street, was trying to mug someone.”

“And you thought you’d just give your favorite superhero a heart attack in his own home?”

Peter grimaces at the sudden chill of the antiseptic. “To be fair, I didn’t realize you’d be here. You should still be at the cabin, I thought you were coming down in a week!”

“Yeah kid, it’s called a surprise visit.” Tony softens his tone. ”We just got here a few hours ago. We were gonna go to your apartment tomorrow for breakfast, May’s in on it.”

Peter smiles at that. “Oh, that’s really sweet.”

“Don’t get a big head.” Tony finished cleaning the stab wound and grabs a strip of gauze. ”Now, why were you coming here?”

“Well, Pepper said I could use your guys’ apartment to fix myself up if I didn’t want to freak May out. It’s just a little stab, but still. In the spirit of Christmas and all.”

“Don’t you celebrate Hannukah?”

“Yeah, well. Doesn’t roll off the tongue as well.” Peter gives a small grin as Tony pats the fresh gauze strip in place. 

“You and Pep are talking behind my back, now?”

Peter huffs at Tony’s offended tone. “More like her and May are. I think it was May’s idea all along, but I haven’t been able to get it out of her yet. Where is Pepper, by the way?” 

“Sleeping soundly in our bedroom, hopefully.” Peter nods in response and then starts to get off the floor. 

 “Well, thanks for the patch-up, Mr. Stark,” Peter says as he puts his suit and mask on in one incredibly fluid motion, especially considering the fresh stab wound in his stomach. “But I should head back now before May starts to worry.”

“Nuh-uh,” Tony retorts, shaking his finger. “I need some repayment for my time. Morgan is still up and lacking a bedtime story. She’d love for her bleeding older brother to give her one.”

Peter softens at being referred to as her older brother, just as Tony knew he would. “Okay, but only one chapter. It wasn’t that much blood.” He looks at the new stain on the carpet and grimaces. “Maybe two.”

Tony rolls his eyes. If he had a dollar for every bloodstain the kid left in his wake, he’d probably double his net worth. 

“I’ve got some clothes that might fit you in the guest room,” he says casually, as if they weren’t picked out specifically with Peter in mind. “Change out of your suit before you go in Mo’s room, the blood will scare her.”

Peter nods and trots off to change his clothes while Tony grabs the cleaning supplies and starts to scrub. 

When he finishes cleaning the stain, Tony walks back to Morgan’s bedroom and leans against the doorway. Peter is wearing some flannel pajamas and animately reading from Charlotte’s Web, and Morgan is hanging on to every word. The soft light coming from her lamp makes the whole room look dipped in amber. He can’t help but smile at the scene laid out in front of him. Peter looks over and motions for Tony to come over. Tony’s never been one to let Peter down, so he sits at the foot of Morgan’s bed and listens to the story. 

Once Morgan’s successfully asleep, Tony and Peter carefully leave the room and shut the door behind them. 

“Thanks, kid.” Tony puts an arm around Peter’s shoulder as they head to the guest room so he can change back into the suit. ”Morgan always likes spending some time with you.”

“I like spending time with her, too.” He smirks. “And I really like stories about spiders.”

Tony snorts. “Alright, Spidey.”

He waits outside the room as Peter changes, which only takes a minute. 

When he comes out, Tony frowns at the small slash in the suit. “You can stop by tomorrow afternoon to fix that.”

“Sounds good,” Peter says, checking his web fluid. “Should I act surprised when you guys come over tomorrow?”

Tony considers that for a moment. “I want to say yes for May’s sake, but Morgan will probably give it away.”

“Got it,” Peters says with a curt nod. “We’ll follow her lead, then.”

Tony chuckles at his professional tone and then dramatically checks the time. “Okay, kid. May’s probably wondering where you went. Your stay at Chez Stark has come to an end.”

Peter just laughs and heads back towards the living room window he came in from, Tony following closely behind.

“Be sure to watch out for Santa,” Tony calls after Peter as he climbs out the window.

Peter shakes his head, and Tony’s sure he’s rolling his eyes under the mask. ���I promise to make it back home safely if you promise to bring those pastries I like to breakfast tomorrow.”

“They’re already packed in the car, kid.”

“Oh, awesome!” Peter checks his web fluid one last time. “See you then, Mr. Stark.”

Before Tony can say his own farewell, Peter gives a jaunty salute and kicks off the outside of the window, flying down to the ground below. Despite himself, he rushes to the window to see Peter wait until the last second to shoot a web and start swinging. He watches him swing until he’s hidden by the skyline. Once he’s out of sight, Tony exhales heavily and starts to walk to his bedroom. His kids are going to be the death of him. 

Tag list: @ironfamjam @addi-is-amazing @mysterio-is-a-little-bitch @wellplacedbanana @night0seven

[threepointseven]

hey i was wondering maybe if you could do a scenario where ayato has been busy again and the reader has become insecure that he’s tired of them and the reader starts to distance themselves from him and they resolve their problems in the end. dont feel pressured to it though, much love

When you think he doesnt love you anymore

🌺summary!🌺- theyve been so busy lately that you become insecure and you think theyre tired of you.

Type- scenario 🍄+HC’s 🌷

Flowers included!🌼= Aether x gn! Reader, Ayato x gn! Reader

Note🍀= HEYAAAA I WENT A LITTLE OVERBOARD ON AYATOS ONE BECAUSE IDK HES JUST BEEN WUITE FUN TO WRITE FOR LATELY BUT BYE I HOPE I GOT THIS CORRECT!

Genshin masterlist

💐Your bouquet has been delivered <3💐

Ayato

Ayato is a busy man and he made sure to tell you that before you two became anything. You reassured him you could handle it, that youd encourage him and wait for his arrival.

But how long has it been since you last had a proper conversation with your boyfriend Ayato? Since the vision hunt decree had suddenly been abolished by the Shogun the Yashiro commission was beyond swamped with paperwork and meetings.

He tried his best to give you a few kisses before he had to go to work but they werent enough of course.

His absence felt more than just ‘absence’, his pecks felt nothing more than hollow and soon enough even they stopped. And with each and every day of not seeing him your insecurities soared. Was it your appearance? Was it your personality? Were you possibly embarrassing to have as a lover?

And god, you couldnt stop them. Not after seeing him have to meet with such impressive people, not after only getting his hollow kisses while his work gets every percentage of his attention.

“Ah! Ayato? Your home? Oh thats rare..! How are you hone-“

“Uh not right now y/n.”

the man said before he dashed away from you. From that day onward your thoughts were on a chokehold by your insecurities. You started distancing yourself from ayato, after all.. he was gonna break up with you anyways right?

His work is much more important and you understood that, so you simply waited, running away from the area if you caught a glimpse of the clueless man.

Even when his work started to die down. Your only assumption was that Ayato, the man you thought youd spend your life with was going to break up with you. Atleast the moment he actually had some time to himself.

It was a Saturday after a short meeting, finally, a day Ayato could actually spend some time with you.

“A y/n~! Darling how ive missed you.”

Good gods there were hearts in his eyes, but all you could hear was empty praise. In a whim of sadness you excused yourself so you wouldnt cry infront of him

Maybe he saw the tears brimming but he chased after your now sobbing figure. Stopping you from running any further by taking a firm grip of your wrist and facing you.

“y/n? Whats wrong hm? Missed me that much~?”

“Why are you trying to act so kind… if your tired of me just end it and leave..!”

you raised your voice slightly and the man was frozen, wide eyed.

“I— y/n i know that i have been unimaginably busy. But me? Tired of you..? I love you more than anything in the world—“

“… it just sounds so fake! You sound so tired of me so sick of me! Im sorry if cant be your ideal lover… and i know your work is far more important than me but please.. dont lead me on if your just…”

he felt ashamed, guilty that he and his focus on work is the reason your sobbing a storm.

As you sobbed loudly he pulled you into a delicate hug, one filled with love spilling out that he had to keep in all those weeks.

“I love you y/n, im beyond sorry for being so terribly busy. I see that i was neglecting you. Im not tired of you, i could never be. If you’d spare me one more chance to be a lover who has all the time in the world for you, i promise id meet your expectations. I never want to make you cry like this again.”

it was a shock, seeing him ask for another chance when you were the one thinking he was tired of you. You hugged him back as tight as you could, burying your head into his shoulder and all you could let out was a few sniffles

“I missed you.… you were so busy..”

the day was filled with cuddles kisses and love, his lips were on your temple each second while you spent that day in his arms. He’ll coo praises about yourself into your ear while he combs through your ear, apologizing profusely for his behavior those last weeks.

get ready for him to be clingy for the next week btw!! He refuses to spend too much time at work and if he has to he’ll 100% put up a fight.

He loves u sm and the fact you thought he was sick of you cause he was that busy? He thought of his work as his arch nemesis for a second there..

Aether

Aether will always be a busy fellow, but he somehow always managed to make time for you, and your ever so grateful. Usually he has to hop from 1 city to another but he never fails to write letters to you or give you extra attention the night before leaving.

You know he’s swamped with work and it makes you feel terribly guilty when you suddenly feel that sense of insecurity and longing after hes been gone for so long. You havent even had the time to touch him, even his letters seem rushed and forced!

Maybe you were just clingy, but god you missed him. And you felt so scared, so insecure about yourself. Was it you? That thought kept spiraling in your head as you stared at the short plain letter aether had sent you. You couldnt help how worried you were, how scared you were for your relationship. Had he grown tired of you already? Of course he did! He’s that one traveller that saved the nations after all! Theres no way he’d actually love someone like you. No way..

You couldnt help the tears that fell each time you got a letter and soon enough you stopped responding completely, 100% sure that aether was gonna break up with you any time soon now.

You missed him so much, even when he got back to the city you were in you just felt so far from him. You watched as he got greeted so royally by citizens and ignored you cause he had work to do with officials.

Even when he got back, he was always out doing commissions, barely able to give you a soft kiss on the cheek. He said “i love you” every morning yet you never got anything other than that. Were you really still his lover?

No amount of convincing from your mind could help how abandoned you felt, at that point you thought it was just a matter of time till the blonde traveller cut ties with you, he was tired of you.

Out of pure impatience you tried to look for him to talk about it

“Aether..! Could we talk..?”

“Ah— uhm im sorry sweetheart but im busy-“

“P-please! Please…”

you couldnt help those little tears of hopelessness that were gonna fall down your face, his work really is more important than you.

“uhm.. y/n… hey.. whats the matter?”

you took a hold of his hand and gripped it tightly with tears in your eyes

“Do you even love me anymore…”

“Huh—? W-what do you mean of course i love you baby-“ it still felt fake, even after he cupped your cheeks and pressed his forehead against yours

“‘M sorry i cant be someone your proud to date. Im sorry.. i know your sick of me..”

“Hey..! Hey dont say that y/n i love you to pieces, im not tired of you!”

“But… youve been so busy, i barely get to see your face! Are we even lovers anymore aether?”

your tears fell onto aethers chest as he pulled you into him, placing a kiss on your head as he tried to explain himself.

“I know… I’m sorry… im sorry I really am.. it was a terrible thing to do.. i put work over you and it was dumb of me.. please forgive me.. im not tired of you. I love you and ive missed you..”

with a blush and a stammer he placed one last kiss on your forehead before looking into your eyes with slightly misty irisis

How were you supposed to just leave..? His big doe eyes and his hands cradling your cheeks.

“I thought you got tired of me..”

you sniffled before burying your head into his shoulder, the hug gladly reciprocated by aether

Aether shooes paimon away for the weekends and ignores literally every commission, he wants to spend time with you, he wants you to realize he loves you more than the sun!

He sucks up his nervousness 100% and just lets you hug him, cuddling you and snuggling into you for the rest of the day while you to make up for the days without eachothers touch.

“I know your a busy person you dont have to do this.. you have your sister to find and stuff”

“If im finding my sister i wanna make sure its with you y/n, i apologize for being so caught up in commissions..”

[chokemeanakin]

I dont know if you are taking requests but if you are, could you please write something where reader has trouble masturbating, every time she tries she just CANT, so anakin (theyre just friends but they always had lots of sexual tension) helps her out and does it for her so she cums for the first time. THANK YOU!!!

A Dream Come True - Anakin Skywalker x fem Reader (smut)

Masterlist

Read it on ao3

Wc: 5.4k

A low warmth is rising in your belly, pulled from the depths by your wandering fingers. They’re working against your clit, rubbing it side to side, faster and hard, trying so desperately to remain in that warm haze of pleasure you’ve spent so long building up. It feels good, but you need more. 

The many late nights spent with your girlfriends cross your mind, and how you would sit by idly during each one as they discussed their own personal affairs in the bedroom. You were the least experienced, but listened in awe as they told you the latest on what their partners have done to surprise them in bed. How they made them scream and shake, their eyes roll back into their head, and cum all over until they couldn’t take anymore.

You were too embarrassed to admit you’d never felt that way before. You thought you were broken.

Which is why you’re here, fingers glued to your hard nub, rubbing furiously to try and get yourself to feel something. You do feel something, but it’s not earth-shattering, leg-shaking, eye-rolling like your friends had described. Frustration fuels your movements as you attack your clit, holding your breath, forcing the warmth to build and build and build--

Nothing.

Your arm aches with the strain as you halt your movements, chest heaving when you allow yourself to breathe. Self-pity outweighs your disappointment as the subtle warmth dissipates, any pleasure that you had given yourself slipping away. 

Broken, a small voice whispers inside your head. There’s something wrong with you.

What other reasoning could there be to explain why you can’t feel good? 

Maybe, you argue, there needs to be something inside. That was always a big topic of discussion with your friends, how they “loved being filled.” Gathering your wits, you move your finger down, exploring your folds until you find your opening. Squeezing your eyes shut, you push a finger in, wincing at the sudden intrusion. 

It stings more than anything, but you’re desperate so you decide to give it a chance. You’ve tried this before, and it’s never felt like anything more than a finger inside of you-- which is exactly what it is. And now, this situation proves to be the same. You feel around, hoping to find that spot everyone raves about, but your fingers are too short and the angle is weird. You push your finger in and out like how you think you’re supposed to, and it feels like nothing.

Maybe you need two?

You let another finger join the one that’s already inside, struggling to get it in. 

Ow, you wince as your body rejects the intrusion. Your heartbeat picks up, a sudden anxiety joining the whirlwind of exasperation and discontent that has come from this situation. Is it supposed to hurt this much? The remnants of the need to satisfy yourself are still present, so you try again.

Making it back to your apartment had been a relief this evening, as all day you had been battling a relentless urge down below. You’re not too proud to admit that your… situation… had been a direct result of spending the day with Anakin, a good friend of yours who needed help finding a data entry in the corner of the Temple library. The entry supposedly had something to do with a cloaking mechanism for battleships, and when you had asked why he needed it when the Republic already had cloaking mechanisms, he mentioned that he was trying to translate the same technique to his own personal starship. No battlecraft as small as his has that ability, and with a ship as fast as his, it would give him a huge advantage on the battlefield. 

You could listen to him talk about it all day.

You virtually had, as the data entry was just one small piece of paper-- a piece of scrap blueprint scrawled on a fragile, worried edge of some larger text, worn with time. You spent hours searching all over for it. Once you had finally dug it out of a dusty box in the deepest corner of the library, Anakin had lifted you into the air effortlessly, swinging you around as he hugged you and laughed.

You had walked home with a damp spot in your underwear, an undeniable throb that needed to be relieved. 

He had no idea. No idea that his hands shot sparks up your spine as they closed around your waist. That his laugh turned your blood to lava, and his beautiful, smiling face made your heart skip a beat. He had no idea that he is the cause of your desperation, the reason you are torturing yourself by dangling an unknown pleasure before your face, knowing you can’t have it. 

You manage to sink your second finger in a little, but the sting is too much, and you have to pull them both out.

Broken.

The door to your apartment suddenly swings open, and you throw your sheets over your bare legs in a panic. Your eyes find the clock next to your bed-- Shit. You’d lost track of the time. 

The sound of those boots are unmistakable, and you find that praying you’re wrong is pointless when he calls out your name. 

“Y/n--?” Anakin rounds the corner to peer into your room, features lighting up when he finally finds you. Curious eyes roam over your figure, wondering why you’re in bed when it was barely evening. “Are you feeling okay?”

Your cheeks flame with heat, and you can’t find the words to explain yourself out of this situation. Mentally, you’re beating yourself up for losing track of time, especially since you knew Anakin was coming over tonight. While searching for the data log, you mentioned you had always wanted to try his favorite childhood drink-- ruby bliels-- and he promised he’d treat you tonight after you found the blueprint. It was his thank you gift to you, but now you needed to find a way to get him out of your apartment before he realized what was going on.

Your mouth hangs open like a gaping fish, and you know it’s too late. Anakin’s brain is as fast as his superhuman reflexes, and you can see the gears click into place as his eyes flit from your red cheeks, to the messy covers strewn over your legs, to the crumpled panties lying discarded on the floor. Your hand is even still frozen between your legs, your activities becoming clear as he senses the remnants of pleasure and disappointment still hanging around the room. 

“Oh…” is all he says, looking lost for a moment. You expect him to apologize and turn away, run out of the apartment and then never speak to you again. You wouldn’t blame him. Finding a friend in this position can never be a comfortable experience.

Instead a slow smirk crawls onto his face, and he leans against the doorframe, arms crossed. “You need some help with that?”

You should have known. The smug little bastard-- of course he’d find this amusing. Your face grows impossibly redder, and you wish a black hole would just open beneath you already and swallow you up. Anakin finds your humiliation endearing, and laughs good-naturedly. 

“Alright, okay, I’m sorry. I’ll leave you to it,” he slinks out of the doorway, crooking his finger in the air to close the door after him. “I’ll be in the kitchen setting up for the bliels when you’re done--”

“Wait!”

You’re just as shocked as he is at the words that leave your mouth. He freezes in place, the door still open a crack. There’s too many thoughts running through your head right now, but the one that stands out the most has you pulling your hand away from your center, sitting up in bed so you can address him clearly. 

You never thought you’d be able to speak these words to him. For so long, you had wanted him in every way possible. But he’s a Jedi, unable to form attachments, and more than that-- a friend. A very good friend. And breaching the topic that you know you both feel for each other had the potential to ruin it all. 

But the minute he had opened that door, still dressed in that black leather armor, hair perfectly curled and messy, so tall and strong and devilishly handsome leaning against your doorframe-- he was beautiful, and you’d be a fool not to take advantage of his offering. Even if it might have been a joke. 

You had a sneaking suspicion it wasn’t. 

“I… I do need help.”

There. You said it. And you’re pretty certain the only reason you could force the words past your lips is because his back is still facing you. But then he opens the door again, turns to meet your eyes, and cocks his head.

“Really?”

You’re not sure how to feel about the concern on his face. You guess it’s better than him being disgusted, or awkward, or uncomfortable. And it’s not an outright rejection. That realization gives you the push you need to explain yourself.

“I think there’s something wrong with me.”

Now he looks concerned. Walking a few steps into the room, he stops by the edge of your bed and folds his arms across his chest. He’s studying every inch of you, reaching into the force to try and gauge the nature of your words. “What do you mean?”

He’s standing so close now, you can see the blue of his eyes and the wrinkle between his furrowed brows. It does nothing to calm your sizzling nerves. However, you’re concrete on your desires now. While you would have liked to confess your feelings for him in a more… romantic way, the intensity of your need for him in this very moment overshadows rational thought. Besides, it’s not like this is a declaration of love. That could always come later. For right now, you need his help, and you’re certain that you can trust him not to make fun of you or shame you for trying in if he declines.

“I can’t…” you take a deep breath, staring at your hands in your lap. “I can’t make myself feel good.”

Your voice is so quiet, embarrassed and ashamed, but he catches the yearning under it all. His face smooths, comforted by the fact that you’re not injured or dying in some way. Deep down, something sparks alive in his veins. 

That’s the issue? Well… it’s definitely something he can help you with.

“Hmm.” His face is thoughtful as he scans your position. His hand gestures vaguely down your body. “Do you want to show me what you’re doing?”

Your blood freezes at his request. For some reason, it didn’t cross your mind how asking for his help would require him to see you… naked. 

“If you’re too embarrassed, we can just--”

You cut off his words by throwing the blanket off. There, like ripping off a bandaid. His eyes drink in the exposed skin of your legs, and although they’re closed and he can’t be seeing much more than he’s already seen before, they darken. A small twitch of his fingers, and the door clicks shut behind him. 

He takes a seat on the side of the bed, next to your legs, and rests his metal hand on your knee. Your heart beats like a hummingbird's wings at the sudden proximity, and the nerves pile up again at the thought of what’s going to happen.

“Wait-- um… actually, can you come here?” 

You reach out to take his metal hand from your knee, and pull him up the bed so that he’s hovering over you. He’s still sitting, the upper half of his body twisted toward you, caging you in with a hand on either side of you. He’s smiling softly, and his eyes twinkle with something fond.

He doesn’t need to ask to know that you’re nervous. The rigidity in your muscles, the flightyness of your eyes, the hammer of your heart-- he can feel it all, and he wants nothing more than to quell your fears. So he lifts an arm to cup your face in his large hand, smoothing a thumb over your cheekbone in a silent request for you to look at him.

Once you muster up the courage to meet his eyes, his smile grows, and he says something that steals your breath.

“Can I kiss you?”

Oh, how long you’ve wanted him to say those words to you. Countless nights, you’d run them through your head, imagining all the scenarios in which it could happen. Certainly, this was not one of them, but you definitely aren’t going to complain.

You don’t trust yourself to speak, so you give him a nod, and lean forward a fraction in invitation. Your veins sing with anticipation, warmth spreading from your cheeks to every small nook and cranny of your body as he angles your face up toward his. Your eyes flutter close, and he leans down, and--

Bliss.

His lips are warm against yours, soft, applying the gentlest of pressures. You always thought he’d be a good kisser-- he was experienced, and he’d hinted at some of his more scandalous escapades a couple times in passing conversation. You’d asked him before, how he could do that when Jedi aren’t allowed to form attachments, which resulted in him going into a full lecture on how non-attachment didn’t translate to abstinence being “The Jedi Way”, even if it was supported within the Order. Really, it sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anything, until he fell on the defensive position that he was almost certain Obi-Wan had done stuff as well.

Which-- great. Now you realized you were less experienced than even two Jedi. 

These thoughts are snuffed out like candles, one by one, as Anakin kisses you. In fact, your whole mind goes blank, a wave washing over all of your worries away and dragging them out to sea. You’re drifting on that wave, drowning in the heady feel of him, the warm taste of him. His slow inhale reminds you to breathe as he moves his lips against yours languidly. It’s heaven, the way he’s yours for just this moment. He might not think anything of this kiss, but to you, it’s like your deepest fantasies are coming true. With each moment that passes where he tilts his head and closes his lips over yours, you can pretend that he is yours, completely and unconditionally.

Eventually he pulls back, eyes fluttering open, and you realize you’re still lost at sea.  

“Good?” his voice is low and raspy as his gaze bores into yours. You wonder if he knows how intense his eyes can be sometimes. 

“Yes.”

He presses another quick kiss to your lips, your heart spasming at the act, before he trails kisses down your jaw, tasting the skin of your neck. Your breath picks up again, hands finding his curls as you gasp at the feeling. His teeth skim over the junction of your neck and shoulder, and he presses a kiss to your throbbing pulse. He means for the kisses to be distracting, soothing, so that you’ll be more comfortable with him, and he thinks it’s working until a faint moan leaves your mouth.

So it’s really working.

Anakin’s eyes flick up to yours, and you can feel the smirk against your skin. Embarrassment crashes down on you again but Anakin repeats the motion, nipping at your skin and then smoothing his tongue over the mark, sucking gently to try to elicit another reaction. You gift him one against your will, and suddenly he’s got lava pouring into his veins.

You’re so lost in the feeling of his mouth on you that you don’t even realize his warm hand has travelled from your face, down the middle of your body, gripping onto the pliant flesh of your thigh and pulling you toward him. You let him, rolling your body into him to try and relieve that reappearing ache in your center. 

It’s the same feeling that had built up all day, and it’s returned with a vengeance. You can feel the wetness seep out, slicking your thighs up. Your clit throbs and your pussy clenches around nothing, begging for something to satisfy the ache. You rub your thighs together to help, but Anakin slides a hand to the inside of your thigh and coaxes your legs apart. Any embarrassment you felt before has been beat out by a yearning for his touch, the need to have his fingers on you, inside you--

“Show me how you’ve been doing it,” Anakin mumbles into your neck.

You open your eyes, pulled up from the haze of pleasure he’d submerged you in. Your hand only shakes slightly as you release his hair and bring it back to your skin. He pulls back a few inches to watch, the heat of his body so close to yours causing goosebumps to erupt all over your body. 

His eyes hone in on your hand, following its descent to your warm center. You still can’t wrap your head around the fact that someone is seeing you like this, but now your veins sing with a satisfied realization that he’s the one seeing you like this. He’s the only one who ever has. And he seems to like what he’s seeing.

You don’t miss the way he inhales, the way his teeth capture a sliver of his bottom lip as your fingers finally reach your heat. You begin to do what you’ve always done-- rub your fingers back and forth over your nub, working that pleasure from it.

It feels good, different than what it felt like when you were alone. You’re sure his eyes on you, the proximity, his mere presence has something to do with that. You can still taste him on your lips and you close your eyes, licking them to relive the kiss. You focus on the warmth of his body, the dip of the bed where his arm is planted beside you, the weight of his other hand still holding your thigh open, the scent of his black leather and spice of his shampoo. It definitely feels better when he’s here, the knowledge of him watching adding to your excitement.

But still, you can only build yourself up to a certain point. The pleasure plateaus, and soon you begin to feel awkward at the fact that nothing is happening. It’s not enough to make you moan, or move, or show any reaction really. Your hand stills, and you look at him uncertainly.

Anakin blinks and brings his eyes back up. “Have you tried fingering yourself?”

You almost choke. You’re not sure why his blunt nature surprises you anymore. 

He’s looking at you curiously, completely serious, waiting for an answer. So you clear your throat and slide your finger down to your entrance, pushing in.

It goes in easier than before, and there’s no sting. But you don’t even have to move to know you’re literally going to get nothing out of it, and trying is useless.

“This is what I’m talking about,” you tell him. “It doesn’t feel like anything. And when I try two, it hurts. I think I’m broken.”

“You’re not broken,” he frowns, smoothing your hair away from your forehead and replacing it with a kiss. Your heart melts at the action that you’re sure is meant to be comforting, but only deepens your adoration of him. He sits up and you immediately miss him, although you understand he needs a better angle as he slides his hand from your thigh to the top of your pelvis. He hesitates, questioning. “Can I?”

You pull your finger out and push yourself up onto your forearms, nodding for him to go ahead. 

His touch is light as a feather as his fingertips make contact with your swollen nub. Your breath hitches in your chest, thighs immediately opening wider on their own accord to get him to increase the pressure. He watches your face as he fulfills your silent request, massaging your clit in slow, gentle circles. 

Fireworks are exploding behind your eyes, and you melt into a puddle on the bed. He’s barely even touching you, and somehow it already feels so much better than anything you’ve done to yourself. Quiet whimpers fall from your lips and the sounds make him need a steadying breath, reminding himself to go slow. Obviously, no one has ever touched you before, and he doesn’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

The sight of your head tilted back, teeth biting at your lips to quiet your sounds, fingers clutching at the bedsheets-- a very sudden, very real desire to absolutely ruin you slams into him. 

But no. That can come later.

He brings his metal hand up to your face, thumb tracing over your bottom lip and pulling it from your teeth. “You don’t have to be quiet with me,” he tells you, the ministrations on your clit with his other hand never ceasing. Instead, he picks up the pace, increasing the pressure, drinking in the sight of your hips moving against his fingers.

You’re absolutely drenched, dripping down your thighs and puddling onto the bedsheets. You’re not sure you’ve ever been this wet before, or felt this good before, and the warmth you’ve always felt is transforming into a ball of heat in your stomach. You hone into the feeling, the heat pulsing with each pass of his fingers, each wet slide of him against you--

“You have to breathe, Y/n,” Anakin chuckles, slowing his touch. You gasp in a deep breath, whining at the loss of friction, but he appeases you by slipping his fingers from your clit to your entrance. He doesn’t push in-- instead he circles his finger around it, collecting your slick, reading your every response. 

“Please, can you…” you buck your hips up, but he doesn’t allow his finger to slide in until you finish your sentence. “Can you put it in?”

He can’t keep the tiny, darkly satisfied smile off his face. He’s always had fantasies of you like this, squirming beneath him and begging for his touch. He basks in the fulfilled wish of his, drinking in every second so he can remember it for later. Meanwhile, his finger massages your hole, dipping in with just the tip before pulling back out. 

“Fuck,” you hiss, once again surprised at your own reaction. Your head is far past the point of clouding with lust, and now you’re dizzy with pleasure and the need to just have him inside of you already. “Anakin, please.”

“Patience,” he answers teasingly, although he does mean it. You can’t rush these things. And… he does have to admit that he loves seeing you so desperate and messy for him. Your neediness has him strain against his own pants, but he pushes that aside. For now, another dip of his finger into your throbbing pussy has you arch off the bed, urging him deeper, and it’s heaven to witness.

He didn’t want to go all in just yet, but you’re gushing around his finger and taking it so well. So he lets you have it, sinking his finger all the way into you. You feel him go deeper and deeper, the never-ending length of his finger a stark contrast to your shorter ones. He’s reaching places you were never able to, and even the slide of him inside you elicits a deep, warm pleasure that spreads to the tips of your fingers.

He keeps his finger all the way inside for a moment, still as he feels your walls clench around him. Once he’s sure you’re all good, he begins pressing into you with shallow thrusts, thumb returning to your clit and rubbing in time with each push of his finger.

Curses spill from your lips, and Anakin can’t help himself. He leans down over you and captures them in his mouth, swallowing your cries of pleasure. The kiss is wet, dirty, and the muffled sounds of your moans combat the indecent slick and slide below. Soon, another finger is nudging at your opening, and you press yourself deeper into his lips in anticipation of that painful sting.

It doesn’t come.

Instead, his finger slides in a couple inches and he keeps both of them there, letting you adjust as his thumb rolls over your clit. You had never been able to use two fingers before, and your head goes fuzzy as he pushes them deeper. Your walls stretch around him pleasantly, accepting the welcome intrusion as he reaches deep inside you.

How is it fair that he can make you feel so much better than you can make yourself? It doesn’t seem right in the whole grand scheme of things, but you decide not to question it as his fingers suddenly curl inside you, searching. It feels odd, and he pulls back from your lips to concentrate for a second until-- there. Found it.

You almost knock your head into his as you shoot up, a startled cry leaving your lips as your vision whites with pleasure. Your fingers claw at his back, meeting the leather that still sits on his shoulders, and scrabbling over the smooth material for purchase. Anakin laughs at your reaction, easing you into a more comfortable position as he holds you against him with his metal arm behind your back.

You can’t find it in you to care that he’s laughing, not as long as he keeps rolling the pads of his fingers into you like this. His wrist curls, applying a harder pressure as he rubs against that spot, and your head falls back, hips pushing forward, the lewdest sounds you’ve ever heard leaving your mouth. 

“You like that,” he notes, proud smile ghosting over your lips. He kisses the corner of your mouth quick and sweet, then asks, “Is it better when I go slow or fast?”

“Both,” you gasp. “Either. All of it. Oh my--”

“Soft or hard?”

“Anakin--”

Your brain is unable to focus on much else other than the feel of his fingers coaxing that blissful heat from your center. He plays around with paces and pressures, but everything feels good, it feels great, it feels amazing, it feels euphoric. Before long, your legs are shaking and a weird feeling comes over you, and you’re crying out,

“What’s happening?”

Anakin pauses, his entire body stilling as he meets your eyes. You’re completely serious, that much he can tell by the vulnerability in your eyes. He frowns, unbelieving at this revelation.

“Why’d you stop?”

“Have you ever had an orgasm?”

You whine and shift your hips into his hand, trying to get him to keep making you feel good. If this wasn’t your first time being with someone else, Anakin would have held your hip still and forced you to talk to him no matter how much you begged and pleaded. But, it was your first time with someone else, so he was deciding to be nice. He soothes your craving, resuming his movements but at a much slower pace. A pleased sigh from you fills the silence of him waiting expectantly for your answer.

“Um..” you swallow, hips meeting his hand with every thrust. “I don’t think so. No. Nothing’s ever felt… like… this…”

It’s like a sneeze, except much, much better. The way his fingers prod into you, slick with your arousal, the tips brushing and massaging against that spot that have you careening into his body. You would have toppled over on top of him if he wasn’t so strong and rooted to the bed. He holds your shivering body against his chest with his metal arm, lips marking their way around your chin and jaw as your head falls back in ecstasy. 

He’s immensely turned on, that much is obvious from the painful straining in his pants. But it’s easy to ignore, knowing now that you’ve never fallen off that brink of pleasure before. He’s curious about it, oddly saddened by the fact, and wants nothing more than to show you the absolute highs he could help you reach. So he focuses back in on rubbing your clit with his thumb, fucking you deeply on his fingers. He allows you to clutch at his back and bury your hands in his hair, moaning in abandon.

Anakin shares you pleasure as the ball in your stomach unleashes, a blissful warmth crashing over you and invading your every cell. For a moment, your body isn’t yours-- it convulses and clenches around Anakin’s fingers, your cries bounce off the walls, your eyes squeeze closed. You hope the hands twisted into his hair don’t hurt him because you physically can’t let go as you ride that pleasure-filled haze, the feeling in your limbs abandoning you to be replaced with something much stronger. 

For a while, the only sounds in the room are your gasps of air and the blood rushing through your ears. Anakin waits until your muscles relax, and then he slides his fingers out of you, smoothing his hand around your waist to join his other behind your back. He lays you down into the pillows again, burying his face in your neck as you struggle to get your legs to stop shaking.

“Y/n,” he mouths a line up your neck. “You there?”

“Mhm,” you gulp, the shock of that intense, pleasurable feeling just beginning to fade.

He pressed his deep chuckle into the spot right under your ear. “Good. I thought I lost you for a moment.”

If you were in your right state of mind, you would have laughed at his teasing. Now, all you can do is cup his face lazily in your boneless hands, pulling his face up so that you can look at him. His cheeks are flushed the slightest pink, eyes dark and sparkling, lips so red and full and inviting…

You kiss him, and he’s yours for a moment longer. 

If only it could always be like this. If only this could be a daily experience, and afterwards you could take care of him, and you could feel that wonderful euphoria with him at the same time. If only he wouldn’t have to pull away soon, untangle himself from your still-shaking limbs, brush off what just happened, and be on his way. If only he could be yours forever.

All of this, you try to tell him through the kiss. Your lips are hot, sliding over with a wanton need. He feels your yearning, and he can tell it’s a different kind than earlier. You move to deepen the kiss, but he pulls away.

“I know what you’re thinking,” his low voice murmurs, and now he doesn’t look so playful. In fact, he looks very serious, and the rumble of his words causes your stomach to drop. “You should know, Y/n, I want you too.”

The whole room could be on fire and burning and falling to ash around you, but you wouldn’t notice. Everything pales in comparison to the flames that erupt in your heart at the sound of his words. 

“You do?”

He purses his lips, running his eyes up and down your face. You’re nervous, and hopeful, and so, so scared. And also… still shivering. Most likely due to the cold, at this point. And he’s sure the drunken affects of your orgasm are still holding sway over your mind.

“This is a conversation I think would be much better held over some ruby bliels,” he decides, and begins to unwind himself from you. You let him, that hopeful spark still searing through your veins. Before getting off the bed, he presses a kiss into your hand and then smooths over it with his thumb.

You want to say something cute or witty, but the only thing your dumb brain can come up with is, “Okay.”

“Okay,” he smiles fondly, moving toward the door. “I’ll meet you out there. Feel free to remain pantsless.”

This has you rolling your eyes, laughing lightly as you fall back against the pillows. Don’t tempt me.

The prospect of a future with Anakin is at the forefront of your brain, blood pumping thick as molasses as you struggle to convince yourself this is reality. He shuts the door behind him as you leave, and you roll onto your stomach to scream into the pillow. 

This was a dream come true.

[xenia-cenia]

hiiii 💕 may i request domestic hcs with chuuya and dazai with a clingy s/o? thank you 💞💞💞

A/N-i like doing these theyre cute :)

sorry for taking forever! some irl things came up

-writing for chuuya is hard bc all the gifs of him are so cool

-so im using dog chuuya for this one

-moving on

-chuuya does not put any thought before asking you to move in with him

-you mentioned it once in passing and he responded with 'yeah, why the hell not?'

-as stated before his house is filled with dog pictures

-he LOVES cooking

-do not get in his way while he cooks

-itll just be a mess for everyone involved

-if you want a cutesy-fun couple activity hes much more fond of walks in the park

-in fact he likes to go on at least one long walk every week

-and hes always delighted when you tag along

-if you get tired and cant finish the walk dont worry he'll just use his ability and carry you back home

-also enjoys going shopping with you

-he knows the ins and outs of every current fashion trend and will happily help you pick clothes out

-be warned though he likes to only buy the most expensive stuff

-he personally has no plans to get married

-deep inside the fear that hes not 'human' enough lingers

-however if one day years into your relationship you were on a night walk and turned to look at him

-the wind softly rustling your clothes and the streetlamps reflecting in your eyes

-(oh your eyes. he always feels painfully human when he looks into those eyes of yours)

-he'll take a deep breath

-and give into his impulses once again

-"lets get married."

-he says it so casually you barely notice

-but when he says it again it sticks in your head

-you laughed

-(why was his heart beating so fast? did your laugh always do this to him?)

-and kissed his cheek

-"id love to, chuuya."

-his knees shook as you spoke those words

-he smiled and didnt notice his ability start until the two of you were above the trees and you gripped onto his shirt

-"chuu!" you had exclaimed

-but nothing was phazing him

-it was the happiest he had ever been in his life

-well

-the second happiest

-as your hands folded into his

-and the expensive suit he was wearing felt 1 million degrees

-he was shaking

-had he ever shaken this hard before?

-and you noticed his fear

-(you always could read him better than he could read himself)

-and all at once the world melted away

-there was only pure bliss

-"to the person who makes me feel truly human" he had added to his vows "i promise to protect you for the rest of our lives"

-"to the person who hangs dog pictures on our ceiling," (he had laughed nervously. he didnt know you saw those) "i promise to protect and care for you the rest of our lives"

-thats when chuuya cried

-he kissed you as hard as he could

-tears burning his eyes as he pulled away for air

-"i love you." chuuya whispered and he knew that this

-this would be the happiest moment of his life

-he LOVES clingy people

-once you move in with him (or him with you. He doesn’t mind either way) he finds himself falling much further in love then he thought possible

-want cuddles?

-god yes

-reading together with his head on your lap?

-please play with his hair

-he’s also a terrible cook

-terrible awful cook

-if you enjoy cooking you’ll need to forcibly keep him out of the kitchen to stop him from ruining your meal

-if you just want to have fun and make a mess?

-he’s your guy

-“belladonna! Look! The eggs stick to the ceiling!”

“Osamu no”

-like Chuuya he enjoys talking walks

-his walks are  much less peaceful however

-he likes to talk about whatever’s on his mind as he walks

-though frankly he enjoys listening to you blabber much more

-insists on movie date nights

-he picks the movie one week and you pick the movie the next week and so on and so forth

-his movies are typically tragic love stories

-you asked him why one day and all he did was smile and shake his head

-“there are some secrets I’d rather keep, Belladonna.”

-eventually you wrote it off as another mystery about Dazai Osamu

-it takes a long time before he lets you change his bandages

-the entire time hes smiling sadly and refusing to make eye contact

-(your fingers are so smooth compared to his. he’ll never forget the feeling of your fingers tracing the new bandages, making sure they fit right)

-now unlike Chuuya he has put a lot of thought into marriage

-he’s fantasized about it for years but always wrote it off as a pipe dream

-though his dream marriage isn’t really anything official

-he thinks ‘love’ is something that you can’t put on display or into a certificate

-when the two of you get serious he’s very clear about this dream of his

-to his surpise (and joy!) you smiled and kissed his cheek telling him you’re okay with that

-if you want a big wedding dazai will compromise for two weddings

-one thats incredibly low effort, just the two of you drinking wine and getting lost

-and the other thats everything youve ever dreamed of

-in fact during his vows for the ‘second’ wedding he’ll grab your hands and look out towards the audience

-”they told me if you love them so much, i should just marry them. so i did! twice.”

-about half a year after the wedding the two of you were lying in bed

-you were half-asleep and dazai smiled softly

-”belladonna, did i ever answer your question?”

-”wha?”

-”i watched them so often because i wanted to remind myself that we’d have a happy ending.”

-you looked at him through sleepy eyes, confusion lacing your expression as he kissed your forehead

-”osamu...”

-”sleep, belladonna. i’ll remind you in the morning.”

-and as you quickly drifted off to sleep he finally felt the stress in his shoulders dissolve

-”a happy ending...” he muttered to himself

-(though, he feels any ending that includes you loving him was the happiest ending he could get)

-he went further into the sheets and let his eyes close

-maybe... maybe he’ll get the story he never thought he deserved

[muwur]

Since requests were open I was wondering if I could request father headcanons for iwai + ushi + atsumu 🥺 btw your writing is vv tasty n I can’t wait to see you write more !! Keep up the good work n stay safe !!

haikyuu daddee headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for iwaizumi, ushijima, and atsumu

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.4k words

a/n: omg u called my writing taSTY Dx i cri tySM 💞 that is a high compliment for me AHAHAHAH ILY and ty for the request! 

also my lovelies i m back i m sry i was gone so long feojfe i miss yall <3 here u go enjoi, this was fun to write lmk if yall want more characetrs AHAHA

current listen: accidentally in love by sHREK AAHAH jkjk i mean counting crows, they cant take that away from me by ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong, love the way you lie by eminem and rihanna

requests: open!

iwaizumi

✧ prePARED daddy

✧ picked up on this parenting thing p fast, also does a lot of research so he’s ready to face any situation

✧ teaches his kids how to behave n respect others

✧ also makes sure they know not to talk to strangers and teaches them some self defense

✧ be warned these kids are packing a surprise can of whOOP ASS,, dont fuck w them,, plus u wouldnt want buff daddee iwa on ur tail

✧ honestly his kids would be ANGELS ,,, n thats cuz he treats them all so w e l l

✧ mans is ATTENTIVE. he asks his kids about their days, their interests, and encourages discussion about their fEELINGS 🥺

✧ always offers them really valuable and light-hearted advice

✧ and gives them the love and transparency we all wanted but never had--

✧ however his kids are easily (n negatively) influenced esp when uncle oikawa comes to visit--

✧ but mostly bc iwa gets annoyed and slips out a lot of curse words and a “shittykawa” and then his kids started calling oikawa that and now it’s ingrained in them forever fjoefefgfvi (*distant phlattykawa crying noises*)

✧ gives them LOTS of head pats and ruffles as signs of affection

✧ PACKS THEIR SCHOOL LUNCHES and ensures they eat a balanced meal

✧ attends all their games/events,, will get a bit rowdy hype them up

✧ def lets his kids sleep with him when they’re having a bad night or woke up scared from a nightmare (and waits for them to fall asleep before going to sleep himself fojref)

✧ when they were babies he usually succeeded to get them to stop crying by pulling funny faces, showing them their favorite cartoons, or humming a lullaby

✧ when they get older,,, u bet iwa would be suPER protective esp when their kids start being iNtErEsTeD in other people

✧ you: “iwaizumi, they seem like a really nice kid, though”

✧ iwa: *sitting with you in the car, across the street from the ice cream parlor your child said they were at, and spying from the window* “you can’t trust everyone, of course they seem ‘nice,’ they just want our approval”

✧ definitely did not interrupt his child’s potential first kiss at their house’s doorstep by slamMINg the door open “sUDDENLY” cuz he “hEard TheIR vOicEs and THougHt TO lET them In”

✧ effectively traumatized both kids

✧ tho he felt bad after n u made him go apologize so he did (and he was forgiven, only if he agreed to never spy on them again--)

✧ doesn’t stop him from scrutinizing every person yalls kid introduces to you tho

✧ overall a super supportive dad, 11/10

ushijima

✧ ok dEF does not know much about parenting ,, at first

✧ stared at his child like ???nani when you both changed their first diaper

✧ also had plenty of staring contests with his babies ,,, called it bonding

✧ was curious and tasted baby food once,,, immediately regretted it

✧ once put a volleyball next to his child, who attempted to bite it, and took it as a sign that they liked it

✧ after sum time n practice, his mind becomes split between “how to volleyball” and “how to dad”

✧ catch him in the kitchen wearing an apron and whipping up his kids’ favorite smiley face pancakes 😤😤

✧ has an amazing ability to get his kids to stop crying, does really simple things like give them their favorite toy or place a gentle hand on their hand or attend to their needs (mans can tell if they want food or needa poop) and they calm down immediately

✧ carried them on his shoulders once and now they never stop asking him for shoulder rides (not that he minds anyway)

✧ if theres two kids he can probs carry one on each shoulder cuz cmon ,,, have u seen this man

✧ always goes to every performance/game/event his child takes part in

✧ man smiles so soft™ when he goes to the 1st grade play and sees his kid’s name in the program next to their role as “townsperson b” (next year, they upgraded to “singing carrot” in a play about the food pyramid)

✧ if his kid ends up enjoying volleyball, he will teach them e v e r y t h i n g they need to know

✧ but is overall super supportive of anything else his child pursues and doesn’t push anything onto them, would rather let them choose what they want to do

✧ had n o idea what to do when his kid asked him about the birds n the bees asfghkl

✧ couldnt sleep one night thinking about it and just randomly asks you while yall laying in bed in the dARk like “so our child asked me how babies are made and I told them they came from watermelon seeds” (you: 👁️👄👁️ “come again”)

✧ you: *at the grocery store with your child*

✧ child: *hands you watermelon* “I want a little brother!”

✧ you: “haha of course honey” 👁️👄👁️ what do i do (*later to ushijima* “duhfojhguf we needa get another baby i promised our child a younger brother fohurof” ; ushi: “wat” ; you: “itS YOUR FAULT”)

✧ yall eventually tell them not every watermelon can produce babies only really special ones that are really hard to get fhuoefkfotfi theyre not ready for the truth

✧ another great daddee, we stan

atsumu

✧ knew parenting was stressful esp with bABieS but was like eh it cant be that bad right

✧ think again

✧ g o o d b y e  s l e e p

✧ develops phat bags under his eyes, responds with a weak “aha im fine just that parenting life and the kids ykNOW” whenever his teammates ask if he’s oKAY

✧ tried to tempt his kids to eat their mush baby food by trying it himself, nearly gagged but was able to say “eughh yuMM”

✧ loves to lift them high up in the air, even throws them up a little and nearly drops them (yall almost died from feAR but babie was having so much fun,,, yall agreed to be just a bit more careful)

✧ rlly bad at getting them to stop crying, gets very stressed when he’s exhausted every option he can think of then calls you over for some help/advice (you: *immediately calms them down* ; ratsumu: “how--”)

✧ calls up osamu a lot to ask him how to make food ,, then simps whenever his twin brother comes over and the kids are in love with this man and his cooking (”dad why cant you make stuff as yummy as this”)

✧ very affectionate with his kids, gives them lots of hugs and kisses on the forehead

✧ plays with them a lot! whether it’s sports, just dance, animal crossing, or UNO, yOU NAME IT WE PLAY IT

✧ also has no mercy when playing competitive video or board games,, has made them cry more than once LOL

✧ so sometimes he toned it down n let them win,, until his kids actually got better and DEMOLISH him every time

✧ is cool with his kids cursing, just as long as they don’t do it in front of their teachers LMAO

✧ plays innocent when he gets a call from school saying his kid was using ‘inappropriate language’ and is like “whaaat? my child? im not even sure where they learned that, maybe check if the other kids in class are saying those things, too--”

✧ reminisces how much nicer his kids were to him when they were younger and all the time they spent together,,, bc now that they reached their tEeNS they want alone time

✧ wants to be B) cool dad so he tries kinda hard, esp in front of their friends but his kid’s just like dad pls dofjrgjigtgro

✧ also very supportive of whatever his kids want to pursue and dedicates time to help them in whatever ways he can (whether that be to help them practice, make sure he can provide transportation, get them supplies, etc)

✧ always playfully competing with you to see who’s the “better” parent (you win by default)

✧ PROTECTIVE dad and will easily intimidate ANYONE who crosses his kids

✧ takes sum adjustment and mental resilience but daddee atsumu perseveres  😤 absolutely loves his kids and would do anything for them