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#i could i have done better but im tired lol
archivebottles · 10 months
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Happy birthday to the most special girl in the universe!! Wanted to try something ambitious and ended up with the biggest comic I've done to date
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload?#me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃#listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook#i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort#to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop#being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol#i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like#let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and#make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works#ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil#ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations#bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess#its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively#health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by#medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary.#like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think#of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf#my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its#bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror#when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the#most me coded character to ever exist#unrelated
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arolesbianism · 5 months
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I'm starting to see ppl talk abt updating their artfight pages and at first I was like what why it's still months away and then it hit me that by months it was two months and now I'm just silently sweating as my anual side project to remake the eternal gales refs and give them all icons comes back to haunt me
#rat rambles#oc posting#well I mean the good news is that all the staliens are already done and Ive already started on the human kids#the bad news is that theres still 5 more refs for me to remake and 9 icons if I decide to commit to that#the only one Ill probably force myself to do is sprinkles since shes the only stalien that doesnt have one and I dont want to leave her out#the human kids might just not get them tho especially since theres other characters Id like to make refs and icons for too#not as many newbies to the field this year which is a good thing since I do not have a lot of space left for new characters lol#Im probably going to take it easy this year in terms of my goals for artfight since last year I crashed and burned Hard#hopefully Ill have the time and motivation to draw a decent amount but if I dont Ill try not to be too broken up about it#especially since Ill probably burn myself out a bit doing the last minute ref rush lol#its not necessary especially since all the guys who needed the new refs most got theirs but Id like for them to be on the same page#I also went ahead and cleaned up my page a lil bit to make my life easier in the future#I should probably update bios and stuff but I dont feel like it Im too tired#tomorrow Im definitely going to need to clean some more as I have been for nearly every day#I mean guess thats why Im here in part#last week of pet sitting tho so soon Ill be back home again#Im not sure if Im excited or dreading it cause while I miss my family I also have been rly enjoying a house to myself#like its not necessary easy to do all the chores and stuff but it's a lot easier to do said chores when Im alone#and Ive actually been waking up at reasonable times too like not having my mom floating around is doing wonders#its almost making me rethink my insistence that I couldnt live alone but I definitely think itd get to me in the long term I need people#I just wish there was a better middleground since having people constantly in the house stresses me out so bad#it leads to me hiding out all day in my room and that's just not good for me#but its not like I could live by myself even if I wanted to#at this rate I dont think Ill ever move out but lets not think abt how much worse that could be for me thats future me's problem
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wavepriism · 1 year
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pimk (day 19!!)
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britneyshakespeare · 1 year
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why does scheduling my work days give me so much stress and anxiety
#i was supposed to do my first day at the high school today but i had literally so much anxiety i could not fall asleep last night no matter#what. i had so much dread. i took so much melatonin lol.#i could shut my brain off till i went into the application and deleted my schedule for the day#ive just been feeling so fatigued and exhausted since i got covid it's crazy. sometimes i'll have bursts of energy where im productive#but yesterday i was just so tired from loading the washing machine. just. fucking sorting clothes and putting them in#that i had to lie down on the floor for a few minutes in the middle of it#not my finest moment#tales from diana#i didn't have anything scheduled for tomorrow and i thought 'maybe if i feel better tonight ill call in'#but i dont feel. super better tonight. and the only thing that i could do tomorrow at my preferred school is kindergarten subbing#for like the main classroom teacher. which i havent done before so i figured 'yeah im not gonna get my anxiety up 2 days in a row'#i deserve to sleep tonight after all and i think if i committed to that i wouldnt be able to#but i am going into my elementary school on wed-thur-friday of this week. wednesday is only a half day but they'll probably find smth for me#to do in the afternoon. they usually do. and im fine w that.#idk im just much more comfortable in my elementary school. i guess bc ive worked there before and i went to school there#as a wittle student waaaay back in the day. like i know the building and it doesn't scare me and i know a good amount of kids there#and the staff don't intimidate me. so yeah.#i did schedule my first job at the high school FOR REAL THIS TIME and it's next friday. hopefully ill be doing better by then.#im working the thursday before it at the elementary so i'll be in the rhythm of that. idk how to explain it but it's harder to go back#to work when ive taken a day off. like that's also why im not going in tomorrow.#friday (4/07) was the first day i worked since i got covid and that was fine but also. i was so anxious just to go in.#and so so so so tired when i got home. and all weekend.#yeah i wasn't ready to start working at the high school today. that was nonsense.#hopefully all will go well on wednesday thursday and friday of this week. im trying to restore my energy and fix my sleep. thatll do wonders#i hope. i hope i hope i hope
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kalloway · 2 years
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hello, please pray for me that I don't get a DS3 NPC killed because I'm trying to NOT use a walkthru or guide for once, thank u
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justmossyaps · 16 days
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it’s joever
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kindred-spirit-93 · 1 month
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plate of sambusa is the new fruit bowl
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toastsnaffler · 3 months
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woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better
#only slept 4 hrs yesterday so was rly hoping to get a solid nights sleep today bc i probably won't tonight....#but i didnt sigh. but my options are either to plough thru w today and make myself do this even tho i dont rly feel like it#or cancel plans and stay in and mope which will inevitably turn into self harm so rly the latter is a non option lmao#its all okay ill get into the swing of things n have a good time once im thereee#and i always knew i was gonna feel a bit like this like its an open wound for me i just need to be careful not to touch it#bc how i feel isnt based in reality its just insecurity n vulnerability n ik it can take months to fully recover from a previous episode#and part of the recovery process needs to involve facing potentially triggering situations instead of avoiding them#bc otherwise ill get increasingly worse bc its not possible to always avoid and ill be defenceless again when it does happen again etc#like its part of rebuilding my sense of self n confidence n hopefully i can eventually start to trust other ppl again n lower my guard#bc it sucks being contorted into this defensive pose all the time and i would like to allow myself to feel genuine connection w others !!#and to stop instinctively flinching and waiting for the hit im tired of my mind telling me ppl r lying + trying to hurt me when theyre not#im being a bit dramatic like i am doing a LOT better than i was a few weeks ago. n i def can handle this one#and the risk of triggering myself is much much lower anyway in this specific situation. so long as theyre not hiding shit from me again#i can think of several ways that risk could skyrocket n unexpectedly spiral out of my control n it makes it hard to breathe just imagining#but i need to believe that it wont. so if-no WHEN it doesnt then next time ill have proof that i can navigate it n i wont feel so anxious#it makes me laugh how stupid this is from an outside perspective. my brain causes me so much weird n 100% unnecessary distress#but its the only brain ive got n will always have so i need to work with it!!#anyway all that aside i genuinely am rly looking forward to this afternoon!! ive rly wanted to start doing more nice things for myself#n the fact it coincides w missing smth that could incite my rsd is kind of for the best even if it is making me anxious#i cant let my life revolve around anticipating how ppl might upset me n basing my decisions off minimising that damage#n while it would be nice to have company.. well ik its just as fun going alone bc ive done it before! n i need a reminder of that#ah im gonna turn myself in circles if i think much more. i dont need to justify anything#i hope they have a nice time and i hope i have a nice time and i hope that eventually someday we can have a nice time together instead#of separately. and i hope that someday ill feel included and wanted by other ppl and wont be posting on tumblr every time this happens LOL#this comes across like im saying i need to learn how to enjoy my own company or whatever but i prommy i already do..#what i actually need to learn is how to trust n enjoy the company of ppl i care abt without constantly being scared theyll hurt me....#but thats not happening today cuz i got other plans woooo OKAYY im gonna stop ruminating and get some chores done sjdkfh#.vent#<- well not rly a vent bc its not like im channelling feelings here im just rambling bc i have a lot on my mind. but still#this is prolly incoherent i keep putting my phone down and doing other things and then adding another thought LOL
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bmpmp3 · 5 months
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speaking of genbu's "serious" sounding tone in his voicebank, i think that might be why he was such a dead ringer for teto pre-synthv-bank-release with just a couple little gender parameter tweaks. wait do my followers know this. sorry i know most of my vocal synthesizer talk is genuinely gibberish to my beloved and loyal long time followers but do you guys know this. for a few years, people had discovered that since utau teto and genbu have this similar strong enunciation and dark sounding tone plus teto can have a bit of a tomboyish edge to her voice anyway -> if u mess with some parameters and phonemes he'll sound close enough to her, so it became a bit of running gag in the community, along with just being a genuine and novel use case for his voicebank. actually recently i found out about someone who made a couple of synthv scripts to set genbus voice to his falsetto pitch and set the tension to drop during each syllable automatically to make him sound like the utau sora amaha. genbu's purpose is to impersonate other vocal synthesizers
#i wasnt familiar with sora until i found that video. apparently she's voiced by lon? like that lon? like the utaite?#which is really neat! every day i find out about another utaite or seiyuu or someone who is involved with vocal synths in some fashion#im still reeling from anju inami providing the voice for a cevio bank! oh and the other day#i learned that the utaite kano was involved with the japanese version of luo tianyi#only to clear up some pronunciations - most of the bank is apparently the original provider. but its really interesting!#also jk jk genbu i love you. you are youre own vocal synth. you dont have to be her (teto). be yourself!!!!!!#i do love when people make teto and genbu have beef though. its so funny to me#tbh ive never been a teto user. shes not bad or anything i just never had any desire to use her utau bank. i keep her sv lite around tho#just in case i feel like making her bully genbu or something. bully that grown ass man#wait is she older or younger. i forgot how her fucked up chimera age worked again. oh well. whether ur 30 or 16 u can still bully him <3#its a family activity. fun for all ages! anyway yeah i was never much of a teto user. tbh i think its just because like#if i want to hear a teto cover someone else probably has already done it far better than i could even think to LOL#i like when other people use her! sasuke haraguchi's use of her in hitomania and igaku has been magnifique#but i think with vsynths i prefer to use voices i like that no one uses much LOL#gives me much more drive to make covers if i know im one of the few doing it HJKDSLJ#whenever i get tired to pitchbending fast syllables (my least favourite part LOL) i think to myself.... i must.... i must....#do it for him (genbu)..... hes not very popular since hes not the only male japanese voice anymore..... i must do it for HIM!!!!!!#(tunes one phoneme and explodes on impact)
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smellyprincetm · 1 year
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FUCKING HELL
#i gotta complain cause ik every1 in my life is tired of this#my fuckin ex is being annoying as fuck#that motherfucker deleted all photos of me(as he should) but left the comments ive made#just to have a narrative of me being a weird ex who still longs for him WHEN I LITERALLY TOOK THE BREAKUP AS A GOOD THING#cause IT WAS A GOOD THING.#but he lied and manipulated fuckinh everything and I JUST KNOW that he lied to his friends about me#we were supposed to be friends but im cutting fucking all contact. he can eat shit and die for all i care.#THEN he lies about not having my stuff. i know he does. for fucks sake just give them back so i can forget about you.#i never want to have you in my life again.#IM SO FUCKING ANGRY AND DISGUSTED#he just used me lmao#you couldve at least lied a little better. if youre gonna cheat and do me dirty OWN IT. dont be a fucking pussy.#IM SO DONE WITH THIS ASSHOLE SERIOUSLY#holy shit you could at least be a DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEING AND COMMUNICATE#i was open with you. i told opened up to you. i understood you. i broke MY OWN BOUNDARIES FOR YOU. I WOULDVE DIED FOR YOU.#just for you to do this. with all love i hope you die. in the most painful way imaginable.#YOU KNEW THIS WAS THE WORST THING YOU COULD DO TO ME. YOU JUST PLAYED A STUPID EMOTIONAL GAME WITH ME.#FOR WHAT. FOR KICKS??? GLAD YOU GOT THEM.#apparently my fwb is gonna come w me to scare him lmaooo what the fuck#he has a strange thing towards owning me so i think he will be more than happy to piss off my ex lol
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lavenderspence · 3 months
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Missing the happy hormone | S.R.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Content warning: emotional reader, period mention, fluff
Word Count: 1.8K
Summary: Apparently Spencer Reid could make anything better - even the emotional disaster of being on your period
A/N: First, huge thank you to the cutie that sent in this request, you literally caught me while on my period so this was born. Also, here’s to my inability to write short fics, this is your only warning that i can make and will make anything long, lol. Also, my titles suck omg. And shoutout to my crazy bestie for making me a Mamma Mia girly, she rocks.
But also, happy one month to this blog! When I carved out this little space for myself a month ago I wasn’t really sure how I’d feel being back here and writing again, but so far it’s been a treat. A huge thank you for all of your support and love and thank you to my mutuals and everyone that interacted with my blog. 💕 Here’s to many more months to come!
Request: spencer x fem!reader on her period/ovulating and shes in tears all the time?? Im ovulating and have been crying for hours and keep calling my mom lmaoo he’d been so lovely and sweet I know it I can feel it in my bones
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It was a slow day at the BAU. The most exciting thing in the 6 hours Spencer had spent at work was Rossi’s invitation to dinner the following weekend. 
Paperwork had piled high after their last 2 cases, so every team member was hunched over their desk, writing and revising reports. It was a never-ending cycle - finish a report, close the file, open a new one, and start all over again.
His eyes had started getting tired after four and a half hours, his hand had started cramping and he was down two pens so far, yet there was still a prominent pile on his desk.
He suspected Morgan and Emily might have pushed a file or two from theirs onto his load, seeing as he was getting done the fastest. Regardless, every few hours JJ was bringing even more to pile on top of everything that wasn’t finished, so buried in paperwork they stayed - no matter how fast he wrote or read, or how used to the load he was.
He was just thinking about getting up to prepare a fresh pot of coffee so he could function properly for a few more hours when his phone started ringing. He felt around the pockets of his suit jacket, where it sat draped on his chair, and then pulled it free. 
His display showed an incoming call, a picture of you as he hugged you, hands around your middle and face almost buried into your neck, a soft smile gracing both your faces. A scenery rich with reds, browns, and yellows stood behind you, the beauty of fall was nothing short of spectacular. 
The picture you’d taken last year when the team spent a weekend at Rossi’s cabin in the woods, surrounded by the beauty of landscapes and leaves, nature for miles. 
He accepted the call right away, a small smile on his face. 
“Hey sweetheart.” His voice was gentle, if a little raspy from misuse. He hadn’t talked much in the last few hours - just a distracted short answer here or a hum there. He was happy you were calling, though, welcoming the reprieve from the most recent report. 
It was silent for a few seconds, and he wondered absentmindedly if maybe you hadn’t called him on accident, and then there came a tiny little sniffle from your side. 
“Sweetheart?” He prompted, “Are you there? What’s going on?” Worry was starting to creep into the base of his spine, but he still remained calm and kept his voice gentle. 
“I’m here. Hi.” Another small sniffle, “All’s good. Just…I was just wondering how much longer you’d be gone.” Your voice was small,like you thought you might upset him by asking, and a little crackly, like you yourself were upset about something. 
His eyebrows furrowed, and he checked the time quickly - 3:57 pm. 
“Probably about two more hours, there’s a lot of paperwork we need to go through.” His eyes met Emily’s as she sent him a curious, questioning look. 
“Oh, okay.” The resignation was clear in your voice, “I’ll see you later then.” The call ended abruptly, and it took him a second to catch up.
He couldn’t help but feel like not everything was as good as you claimed it was. For one, you rarely called to ask when he’d be home - you knew his work could span into the late hours, or even stretch for days. You let him update you on any changes in his work schedule. 
In your interactions, your voice was usually upbeat and teasing - especially on the phone. Your kindness was always evident in your voice, as was your mood. You were a sunshine person, if he ever met one, that’s probably why you and Penelope formed such a close bond upon meeting. 
There was something that nagged him - a change in your mood he could pick up on just by your voice - too low, too small, and the cracks that he could now identify as he replayed your conversation in his head. You were keeping yourself from crying out, and yet there was nothing more apparent than the tears in your voice. And that made him worry. 
“Reid, are you okay?” Emily’s voice snapped him from the hard stare he’d been giving his phone in the last several minutes since the call ended. 
“I…I don’t know.” His eye twitched, and he cleared his throat before he tried and failed to articulate exactly what was happening - he himself had a hard time understanding. One thing he knew was that he needed to get home. “I..um, I need to go. Can you, please?” He asked, gusting at the remaining three files on his desk before he pulled his suit jacket on and grabbed his satchel. 
Morgan and Emily shared a mildly concerned look before they both nodded their heads, “Yeah, go. Text to let us know if everything is okay.” Morgan reminded him before he exited the bullpen with a fast step and tried to keep calm.
He was aware the situation wasn’t anything that he needed to be incredibly worried over - if something was really wrong, he knew you would have let him know. Yet, he couldn’t help the way his heart constricted by the sound of your voice, or the overwhelming desire to come home and gently hold you, see what could have caused this behavior. 
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You were curled up on the couch, watching as Donna helped Sophie get ready for her wedding, the gentle melody of “Slipping through my fingers” filling the empty apartment. Your eyes were watering, to the point that everything was starting to get blurry. A shaky exhale left your lips.
Today has simply been a rollercoaster. Kissing Spencer goodbye this morning was the highlight of the day. What followed was nothing short of an emotional disaster. 
You’d teared up during breakfast, images of picking berries with Spencer flying through your mind. The desire to make it a reality was strong. 
Following that had come the overwhelming urge to bawl your eyes out, for no apparent reason whatsoever. Just cry and cry until you had it all emptied out and you could take a deep breath and continue with your day. So, cry you did, and then you’d finished with your chores for the day. 
Apparently letting it all out and emptying your tear supply hadn’t happened. Seeing as around 3:30 you’d started missing your boyfriend so much, the need to hear his voice had won out, so you’d called him. You felt the need to have him home to hold you because this month’s visit from mother flow was making you feel like a crybaby.
But then there was disappointment at the notion that you needed to wait close to 3 hours before that could happen. So you quickly ended the call before he could pick up on the tone of your voice, and then you shed a few tears. 
Now here you were, rewatching Mamma Mia because you really needed a pick me up, and once again, eyes shining as the tears started falling. At this point, it was a losing battle, so you let them fall, humming to the song with a broken voice. 
That’s exactly how Spencer found you, not a minute later. His keys were in his hand, the satchel on his shoulder, and he was just a little bit out of breath. 
The moment his eyes met you, they softened as he dropped everything and sat down next to you. His hand reached up and he cradled the side of your face, wiping your tears away. 
“Hey, sweetheart. What’s wrong?” He asked in a whisper.
“Look at Donna painting Sophie’s nails, it’s...” You hiccuped, another wave of tears washing over you. “And you’re home, why are you home?” Your question was met with a furrow in his brow, as his thumbs continued wiping underneath your eyes. 
“You called.” He answered simply. 
“But you said-” He stopped you before you could finish your sentence.
“I did, yes. But you sounded off and sad, so. Want to tell me what’s going on?” He prompted you gently as he pushed your hair back and pulled you into his lap after, feeling like you needed the physical contact. 
You weren’t ashamed to admit it, per se, but you were ashamed that your hormones had caused him to leave work and race home to be with you. 
“It’s my period,” you mumbled, hands wrapping around his neck as you hid your face in his chest, too tired to prevent your eyes from watering again. “It’s been going on all day. Randomly, I’d just get so emotional, and the tears would start. I was missing you so much too, and then hearing the song, bam, tears again. I’m so done with this Spence.” You sounded barely coherent, with your face pushed as close to him as possible. 
It all made sense now, you’d been cranky a few days ago, and then you’d told him last night your cramps were unbearable, so he knew you were on your period, but right now he felt like an idiot for not figuring it out himself. 
“It’s okay, everything is fine. The drop in estrogen and progesterone, following your ovulation triggered this. This in turn reduced the production of serotonin, your happy hormone. So, we just need to boost it a bit.” He whispered into your ear as you played with the hairs at the nape of his neck. 
“How?” You sighed into his chest, almost being able to pick up on the sound of his heartbeat.
He got deep in thought for a few seconds as you breathed in his scent, and a sense of calmness slowly overtook you now that he was home and holding you. One of his hands was running soothing circles on your back as the other held your hand, fingers interlocked. 
“How about we take a trip to the store and get you some snacks? We’ll pick up dinner on the way home and then I'll hold you some more and you'll pick a movie for us to watch.” He suggested, kissing the crown of your head once, twice, and many more times until you gave him an answer. 
“Yeah, yeah, I think that would help, but just having you here has done wonders.” You finally laid your head against his chest, looking up to meet his eyes. He smiled, and so did you. Having him here really had helped immensely, and when had it not? He was your other half, your rock, and even when your emotions ran rampant or you were feeling down, just his presence, his touch, and his understanding were enough to make it all okay. 
Later in the evening, Penelope sent you a photo of Sergio sleep-hugging a little plushy you’d gotten him, and the waterworks started all over again. Luckily, Spencer was there, wiping your tears and kissing your head, saying a thousand things without actually speaking a word.
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Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
Requests are open for both Spencer and Hotch if you want to send any!
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maplesyrupsainz · 6 months
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙make you mine | CL16 LN4 ˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader y/n (she/her) x lando norris
genre: social media au, polyamorous relationship
warnings: just polyamory & fluff
summary: in which you never censor yourself online but your boys wouldn't change you for the world
a/n: i luv the polyamory reqs lollll
request!!!: I've been obsessed with Charlando recently so I was wondering if you could maybe write a smau for them with singer!reader, I don't have a plot other than the fact that they are dating someone like Renée Rap with zero PR training, can you imagine the chaos
fc: madison beer
my masterlist
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twitter ->
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instagram ->
charles_leclerc posted a story
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liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, and 432,054 others
landonorris you're telling me
liked by charles_leclerc
user1 omg aw
user2 awww our precious girl
user3 still not used to u dating her
landonorris posted a story
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 389,766 others
user4 charlando looking after y/n <3
charles_leclerc only if we feed her 🤔
landonorris well..... true
user5 yummm pancakes
francisca.cgomes i miss her
landonorris i told her and she literally squealed at the mention of your name..
francisca.cgomes heheheee that's my girl
landonorris and here we were, thinking she was ours
messages ->
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instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
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liked by francisca.cgomes, lilymhe, and 982,712 others
user6 omg
user7 i am no better than a man
user8 what have they done this time
liked by yourusername
landonorris baby please we said sorry it was an accident
charles_leclerc ma belle please we're begging
francisca.cgomes posted a story
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 134,927 others
charles_leclerc she's with YOU?
landonorris return her to us this instant
francisca.cgomes idk what you're talking about 🤷‍♀️
user9 make em squirm
user10 😍
yourusername 📍 paris
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 1,043,365 others
yourusername the boys forgot about me but she never would
tagged: francisca.cgomes
view all 8,943 comments
francisca.cgomes i wouldnt dream of it sweetheart 😍
yourusername stop im blushing....
landonorris stop flirting where we can see it charles is distraught
yourusername so was i when i realised you'd both forgotten to include me in your travel plans
user11 LOL is she being serious😭
user12 the most beautiful wags by far
pierregasly go away back to monaco and free my girlfriend
yourusername YOUR girlfriend? huhhh i know you aint talking about my girl kika
pierregasly @.landonorris @.charles_leclerc please make her forgive you so i can live in peace
charles_leclerc you don't think we're trying 😢
francisca.cgomes try harder 😋 (or dont) (i love having her around)
user13 LOL y/n always brings the chaos to social media 😭
user14 i just know lando & charles' PR team are tired
messages ->
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instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
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liked by francisca.cgomes, carlossainz55, and 671,346 others
lilyzneimer deserved
yourusername right?!
user15 hahaha what a fun spectacle to watch unfold via instagram
carlossainz55 you guys are crazy
yourusername 😘 perhaps true
carlossainz55 no, definitely true
user16 i know this was charles' idea
charles_leclerc 📍 monaco
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liked by pierregasly, yourusername, and 844,971 others
charles_leclerc time to get serious for the home race
tagged: yourusername, landonorris
view all 7,375 comments
pierregasly thank god
charles_leclerc 🤨
user17 OMG THEY R SOOO CUTEEE TOGETHER
user18 im so jealous of them
yourusername get my boys on the podium!!!! 🥇
liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris
user19 she gets it
landonorris us going back to being rivals on the track: 😢
charles_leclerc my heart isnt in it, dont worry
user20 omg why is the cutest thing ever
yourusername posted a story
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liked by francisca.cgomes, lilymhe, and 612,854 others
lilymhe bored much?
yourusername they are too busy and serious to entertain me. send help
lilymhe im coming to collect you immediately
francisca.cgomes they bored you into becoming an impromptu artiste?
yourusername pretty much 😂 lily said the same thing
francisca.cgomes ok good cause me too. On my way!
user21 trust y/n to supply us with the charlando content 😻
twitter ->
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instagram ->
yourusername 📍 monaco
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liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri, and 1,024,736 others
yourusername congratulations to my boys on p1 and p2 🩷✨🎀🥰🌸💘🌷🩰 never been so proud in my life!!! by the way i just dropped a new song called make you mine .. this one's for my boys:))) ily all
tagged: landonorris, charles_leclerc, lilymhe
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user26 NO WARNING?????
user27 what the fuck
lilymhe i screamed tbh
alex_albon can confirm
yourusername oh stop it you guys 🤭
francisca.cgomes IIIII WANNA FEel the RUSHH
yourusername real 👀
user28 SCREAMMMMMM
user29 our chaotic queen 👸
landonorris oh my god baby
charles_leclerc no way
messages ->
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instagram ->
landonorris posted a story
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 716,826 others
user30 oh god i love these three
oscarpiastri cute
lilyzneimer love her <33
user31 sickly sweet😭
charles_leclerc posted a story
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liked by landonorris, pierregasly, and 801,626 others
user32 the hand drawn hearts is too cute
user33 y/n is the luckiest girl in the world
user34 giggling and kicking my feet over them
pierregasly you guys are crazy
charles_leclerc crazy in loveee 😎😎😎
yourusername posted a story
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liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes, and 974,626 others
user35 the red and orange hearts😭😭😭
user36 them all posting each other celebrating i could die rn
user37 idk who i wanna be more
francisca.cgomes my fav throuple
yourusername how many others do you know
francisca.cgomes not the point!
landonorris
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 837,907 others
landonorris live inside my mind you can see the shrine got you on my walls ..
tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername
view all 11,737 comments
user38 omg🥹🥹🥹🥹
user39 omg they are sosososososo cute together i cant cope
user40 oh to be y/n y/l/n
francisca.cgomes a moment for make you mine song of the year 🙏
landonorris pinned 🧷
yourusername iktr 😎
charles_leclerc my honeys 🍯
yourusername hehe
landonorris i love you
charles_leclerc i love you ❤️
yourusername i love u sweeties
user41 the little nicknames🥹🥹🥹
user42 i'd die for them
landonorris same
THE END ❤️🧡
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taesanrot · 2 months
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[heavy] sunghoon x f!reader | 2.1k words exes to lovers, second chance, angst syn. ever since you broke up with your long term boyfriend, park sunghoon, he's been heavy on your mind. foolishly, you try to move on, but seeing him at a party reminds you why you can't let him go. note. i've been wanting to start a series based on songs i've been listening to recently! this is the second and hopefully not last fic in this collection lol. also this was kinda supposed to be a implied college au but im now realizing the setting is kinda vague so imagine it as you like :)
now playing: heavy by the marías
"cause i don't wanna be in love with another, even in another life."
sipping your drink, you wished so dearly to drown out the memories that played in your head like a broken record.
you were fine. everything was fine. you told yourself what you told everyone.
you were done with park sunghoon. it was for the better.
but even the loud drunken screams from your friends and the even louder music at this party couldn't make the words in your head stop playing over and over. you closed your eyes and tilted your face to the ceiling.
...
"let's go our separate ways." your emotionless voice contrasted with your tear streaked cheeks.
"y/n, what? what do you mean?" sunghoon's voice shook with confusion.
"i mean, let's break up."
"break up? baby i'm not breaking up with you over this." he stepped forward to grab your hand but you just crossed them in front of your chest.
"i'm tired of fighting! we're clearly not right for each other." your voice almost broke at the end, making sunghoon want to cry.
"couples fight all the time, you know we've both been really stressed lately, let's talk about this another time. when we're both feeling better." he tried and tried to reason with you, but your mind was set, and both of you knew that.
...
you felt stupid, then and now. it had been one month since you'd last seen your ex boyfriend, and you were a wreck. foolishly, you'd blamed everything going wrong on him, thinking that getting rid of your relationship would alleviate your stress. but sunghoon left a gaping hole in you, and suddenly it was like you were frozen.
the pain was unbearable, bu you were stubborn. you kept your head up, moving through night and day. you were a shell of yourself, but you were still standing.
you began to go out, your friends dragging you out of your apartment in an effort to cheer you up.
you tried and tried to move on. but talking to other guys made you feel sick. they didn't have his fluffy hair, his cute and pointy smile, or his pretty voice.
tonight was the same, you nursed a drink in your arms as you tried to forget everything.
"what are you thinking about, pretty?" you opened your eyes, nearly dropping your drink in shock as you turned towards the voice. you were face to face with a taller boy. he had dark hair and even darker eyes.
"nothing." you weren't going to get into your ex with a random guy at a party.
"i'm jisung, by the way." you smiled slightly as he introduced himself, trying to be polite. he seemed sweet enough, but you wished you were doing anything but talking to a flirty guy right now.
"i'm y/n." you replied, struggling to maintain your sanity and composure with the alcohol flowing in your veins. you kept up conversation for a bit longer, making an excuse that your friend was sick so you could finally make your escape.
finding your best friend, yunah, you tapped her shoulder to get her attention away from the music.
"y/n? what's up?" she grabbed your hand as she spoke, swinging it back and forth drunkenly. you smiled, gesturing to the back door.
"gonna go sit outside, need some air." she nodded and waved as you walked away.
what neither of you saw was sunghoon. he'd arrived not more than 15 minutes ago, with his friends jake and heeseung.
"dude, is that who i think it is?" jake blurted the moment they walked through the door. the 3 boys watched you talk to some taller guy with dark blue hair. sunghoon wished he didn't care, but truthfully he couldn't look away.
you were beautiful, wrapped in a black dress. you always looked angelic to him, always making his stomach burst with butterflies.
looking at you right now, his stomach was burning with a different emotion. he was green with envy watching another guy flirt with you when you should've been with him. the only thing that quelled his dread was the look on your face. he could see from miles away how uncomfortable you were, arms crossed tensely and face painted with a fake smile, one that didn't reach your eyes.
sunghoon wanted to be a respectful ex-boyfriend. he didn't contact you. he gave you your space after your breakup, even though he knew how stupid your fight was. he loved you, enough to respect what you wanted.
but watching you duck away from the blue haired boy and walk out the back door, sunghoon couldn't stop himself. he downed the rest of his drink, wincing at the burning feeling his throat before pushing through the crowd to get to the back door.
the night air soothed the growing dread within you a bit, but you were still left with a nauseating feeling. the same one you always felt when you talked to guys that weren't him.
slumping against the fence, you held your head in your hands, combing your fingers through your hair roughly. dizzily, you crouched on the ground, wishing you could just disappear. or even better, teleport to your bed.
“y/n?” your reaction was delayed as you slowly searched for the source of the voice.
in all his glory, park sunghoon stood before you, looking down at your crouched figure with concern.
“god, sunghoon. what are you doing here?” you groaned, sincerely wishing you were just hallucinating all of this. wishing that the first time you were seeing your ex boyfriend since the breakup wasn’t when you were a drunken mess.
god, today was seriously the worst.
crouching next to you, he reached out a hand to move some of your hair from your face. he leaned in front of you so he could see your face, while you stubbornly trained your eyes at the ground.
you were scared that if you even made eye contact with him for too long, everything would fall apart.
“are you okay? how much did you drink?” he spoke softly, his voice melting in your ears and warming your chest.
you wanted to cry, throat tightening at the feeling of him doting on you. you didn’t say anything, just nodding.
sunghoon could tell you didn’t want to be there just as much as he didn’t. normally, on a night like this, the two of you would be watching a movie together or baking or just laying in his bed and scrolling through one of your phones.
“do you wanna leave?” he asked, hand falling onto your shoulder and rubbing small circles. you nodded again, pushing your hands on the ground to stand up. you didn’t let sunghoon help you as he stood up, stumbling slightly as you stood up fully.
as the two of your walked out the back entrance, you looked at the boy in confusion as he began walking in the same direction as you.
“i’m not leaving you alone out here, let me make sure you get home.” you looked back at the ground, mumbling back a small okay and thank you, trying to ignore the words threatening to spill from your lips.
the walk to your apartment was filled with a thick silence, the only audible noises being the hum of the streetlights. A rough gust of wind caused your skin to fill with goosebumps, the cold breeze hugging your frame.
sunghoon noticed, almost quicker than you did. wordlessly, he dropped his leather jacket over your shoulders. you knew you should protest, but to be truthful, you missed him more now than ever.
when you didn't say anything or move at all, sunghoon stepped in front of you, gently unwrapping your arms and putting them into the sleeves of his jacket for you.
you stared at the cracked sidewalk, heavy tears threatening to fall from your eyes. his jacket was warm, and so big that you were practically swimming in it. his hands were warm too. and so was his voice, as he softly asked you if you were feeling less chilly.
you still refused to utter a word, not out of stubbornness but out of fear that your voice would betray you. after everything you did, after how bad you hurt him, sunghoon was still here, walking you home and taking care of you like he always did. like nothing had changed.
"y/n." sunghoon spoke a little louder, tilting your chin up so you looked him in the eye. "i said are you cold?"
the end of his question died in the back of his throat as your teary eyes came into view. he dropped his hand, eyebrows furrowing with worry.
"hey, hey, what happened?" his voice instantly softened. you couldn't do anything but shake your head, the tears finally trailing down your cheeks. sunghoon's thumb made contact with your cold cheek, wiping away the tears as the fell.
"y/n, please, tell me what's wrong." he almost sounded defeated, voice laced with concern that made you want the earth to swallow you whole. your chest ached.
"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, hoon." his head tilted in confusion at your apologies. he opened his mouth to respond.
"why are you apologizing?" you sniffled, tears still wetting your pink cheeks.
"im so stupid. i pushed you away because i just hated fighting and i thought that was the only way to make things better. but i can't-" you voice broke slightly and you took a second to breathe in. your eyes were screwed shut, refusing to look at sunghoon.
"i can't see myself with anyone else. i don't want to see myself with anyone else. any guy i talk to i just compare to you and it makes me feel sick. i know i can't but i've been trying so hard to move on because i'm scared that you hate me for hurting you and being so dumb." when you slowly opened your eyes, sunghoon pulled you into his chest.
your cheek was pressed against his white shirt, tears wetting the fabric as he held you tightly. he shoved his face into your hair, breathing in and relishing the feeling of you in his arms again.
"sunghoon?" you asked, voice muffled by his chest.
"i could never hate you." he mumbled into your hair. he pulled away and you saw him smiling, eyes crinkling as he tucked a strand of your hair away and wiped the last of your tears. your nose and cheeks were red both from the cold and from crying; sunghoon thought you looked adorable.
"for the past month haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. about us. how i should’ve fought harder to make you stay.” he laughed dryly as he spoke. “the only reason i even went to that party was because i might get to see you again.”
more than anything, it warmed sunghoon’s heart to see how much you still cared for him. all this time he was scared he was the only one still hung up on your relationship.
“i love you so much, i don’t care if we fight or if we go through a few rough patches. i only want you.” his voice softened slightly and he looked at you like you were the only two people in the world.
“you’re not mad at me?” you mumbled, hand crinkling the fabric of his tshirt as you clutched his side. shaking his head, he grinned.
“why would i be? you came back to me.” you smiled for what felt like the first time that night, hand instinctively covering your face. sunghoon pulled your hand down, wanting to see your shy smile. he loved when you were like this, shy and bashful. it made his heart nearly explode in his chest.
“can i kiss you?” he asked, intertwining your hands. you nodded gently, closing your eyes as sunghoon leant closer to you.
his lips were warm and soft, just like you remembered. your mouths fit together like puzzle pieces, molding to each other perfectly. sunghoon’s arms slipped under his jacket that you were still wearing, hands wrapping around your bare waist.
you were flush against his chest, feeling his heartbeat against your skin and his teeth sink into your bottom lip. as your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, you swore to yourself that you’d never let park sunghoon go again.
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g4yforethan · 3 months
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urge!!!
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pairing: art donaldson x male!reader
summary: after an intense workout, a trip in the sauna leaves reader and art alone and enchanted by each other
warnings: cursing, smut, top!art, bottom!reader
a/n: it's been sooo long since i've done this so my apologizes for any typos or shit like that lol
the sun was hitting your skin as sweat dripped down your face and neck. you had been training for hours with art who wouldn't stop until you had beat him in a round of tennis. "come on y/n! you can do it!" he said as he served the ball and hit it towards you. you tried and tried until you basically collapsed to the floor of fatigue and weakness. art came running over with a towel and water. "there there y/n. it's okay i'm here. sorry for overdoing you but i just feel like you have so much potential i gotta work it out of you." yeah or you could fuck it out of me. a thought that entered and quickly exited your head. you got up and sat down in the shade. "i know you mean well art but i just feel so tired and overwhelmed by today. i'm throwing in the fucking towel." art laughed and sat down next to you. "yeah that's fine y/n. we all need our rest every now and then. hey how about we head into the sauna to relax and just clear our heads huh? that'll make you feel better?" he said as he massaged your back.
you nodded your head as the two of you walked towards the sauna. you turned away to remove your clothes but turned the other way to look at art as he took off his clothes and reveal his long and thick cock and muscular ass. you turned back out of respect and guilt and took a towel and put it around your waist. you entered the sauna and sat next to art who laid his head back and had his eyes closed. "hey art are you asleep?" you put your hand on his shoulder. he put his hand on yours and opened his eyes locking his with yours. "no i'm just resting my eyes. why what's up?" he replied. "oh nothing i just. i just wanted to say thank you for everything and for sticking by me. i know i can be a handful." the two of you laughed as you got closer to each other. "yeah of course y/n. you're special. something in you. the drive, strength, the talent. you have it all. just stay with me and i can make you so much better." the tension was strong. the room thickened with steam as hot water dripped down your face. you looked at art with desire and so did he. you got closer and grabbed his face and locked lips with him.
you moaned as his tongue entered your mouth and the both of you struggled to catch a breath. you opened your eyes and felt embarrassed by your actions. "im sorry. i shouldn't have done that. it was- it was wrong i'll go-" you were interrupted by art as he grabbed your body and put you on his lap. "art what the fuck are you doing?" you were shocked by him. "y/n i've always wanted a moment like this. just us two. together. showing how much we want each other. that's all." he said as he reached his hands down and massaged your ass. you began kissing him again and removed your towel and started grinding on his crotch. he moaned and removed his towel as well. "fuck. can i put in?" he asked as you nodded your head. he slowly entered your hole as you softly began to ride him. his cock was thick and filled you perfectly. you placed your hands around his shoulders as he gripped your waist and ass bouncing you up and down.
"fuck yeah y/n. your hole feels so fucking good." art said as he rammed his dick inside you. "fuck. fuck me just like that art." he fucked you like he has been waiting to for years. you suggested a new position and art was eager for what you had in mind. you laid on your back and lifted your legs art quickly re-entered you. you felt his dick stimulate your g-spot as the sensation overfilled your body. your rolled your eyes back as art placed his hand on your neck. "fuck your face looks so hot while i fuck you." art said. as he fucked you, he sucked on your cock to pleasure you more. "ugh fuck fuck art im gonna cum." he smiled as he continued sucking your dick. you gripped his ass as he continued pounding your hole. you came in his mouth as he came in your hole. the session left the both of you out of breath as you both laid on the floor. "haha so did i teach you anything today?" art said as he smiled at you. "yeah you taught me how to give someone the best orgasm ever." you both laughed as you kissed his lips. "well then i'm proud you learned something at least."
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ceilidho · 1 year
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prompt: im also thinking of a very bad fic where ghost is taken pow for awhile and it fucks him up and he’s forced to see a therapist when he’s rescued but he’d rather use her p[] as therapy instead. tags: nsfw, implied/not described violence, slight dubcon, unprofessional relationship lol
-
It isn’t serendipitous that you meet; it comes because of a lot of bad luck and malevolence. 
He’s captured during a routine surveillance mission and spends three months as a POW in some shed in the Ural mountains. He comes back different. That’s to be expected. Trauma is an insidious thing that takes root under the skin, that twists and turns even in the dead of night. It’s a tunnel that gets tighter as you walk through it. It would be concerning if he didn’t come back that way. 
You know far too many gory details to ever feel truly comfortable around him. Not because of anything he’s done but because you can’t help the way the narrative builds in your mind when you look across the room at him. Even sitting on the prim and proper little sectional in your office, his body too big for the cozy little couch you picked up from some upscale boutique with your government paycheck, you can’t help but mythologize him. 
The official story is that four men were found dead when Simon Riley was finally extracted from the shed-turned-torture-room six months ago due to a bacterial infection that, luckily, Simon was not exposed to. The story’s flimsy even to your untrained ears; you may not have gone to medical school, but it just seems too perfect, too impeccable. When you push your superior for the truth, the look you get and the quiet “leave it alone” tells you far more than your paygrade deserves. 
Even knowing what you know, he shows up day one with the skull balaclava like some bone fortress that tells you before you even try, I am unknowable. You can try to cut me up and look inside, but this is all you’ll find—bone and bone and more bone.
He’s remarkably resistant to therapy, which is also to be expected; you aren’t at the stage in your career where you’re surprised that a man entrenched in the machinery of militarism won’t acquiesce to talk therapy. 
There’s a point where you want to try a new tactic, something to get to the root of what he’s hiding from you. So, you poke at it. You ask him to give you a five-minute account of the traumatic event, something that took place in the shed. 
“Which of those events do you dislike thinking about the most?” Your pen is poised over the pad in your lap. 
He raises a brow so high up that it disappears behind the mask. “How could I pick just one?”
His voice rumbles like tires over gravel. Sometimes your leg jitters when he speaks and it’s not your fault. You shut it down though because this is not a legend in front of you but a man, and you are in this room with him for a very specific purpose that does not include finding the sound of his voice attractive. 
You ask him again: “Which comes to mind first?”
Simon doesn’t answer you, but there’s a flash like quicksilver across his eyes and you catch it not because you’re looking but because he lets you. 
He shifts forward in his chair so that his elbows are propped on his knees and he’s leaning forward, closer to you than you’re comfortable with. You didn’t think to put a coffee table between the two of you. With other vets and active personnel, it’s easier without the sense of distance; makes them feel closer to you, vulnerable because it’s just skin, oxygen, and skin. 
With Simon, you get the sense that distance might be better. 
“What comes to mind first is that it was dark and I could smell the blood. I could taste it. But I couldn’t see it.” He doesn’t blink for as long as he speaks. You try not to let your breath shorten; you feel hungry for his truth the way a wolf hungers for the moon. “And it was dark and I could smell it; it was in my throat because I knew it was the only way out of there. I realized in that room that there is no righteous path but the one you take.”
Simon leans so far forward that his body glides up to stand and the pencil trembles in your hand when he takes a step close. He’s bigger looming over you, all brawn in the way military men often are, but sleek in his movements. You think of snakes or panthers. 
He breathes in. “You smell good though, love. Do you think we could start there instead?”
You open your mouth to reply, maybe even tell him to sit down so you can approach the question from a different angle, but then he’s on you, quick as he must have been that night. One big callused hand over your mouth and one knee on the couch, his other hand reaching up to pull the mask below his nose. You feel the warm press of it into the side of your neck and try not to struggle.
His breath shudders across your skin. You shake because you feel all the bone hidden beneath his frame now.
Simon’s hand is rough when it slides up your shirt. Pretty pearl buttons go flying; one rolls under the prim and proper couch. You only struggle for the first couple of seconds before professionalism melts away like a fine mist. Like you can do anything but look at him like a revelation. You stare at the pearl beneath the couch when he fucks you, legs split around his waist and you know it’s going to hurt in the morning. 
“If I’d known that you were waiting for me while I was in there,” he breathes, sonorous and rich, mask rolled up over lips bisected by a puckered scar, “I would have torn out their throats much more eagerly.”
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