#i could try to remember my other notes from that class on just how literature and politics of the time period intertwined

[emblemxeno]

Honestly it's really funny that the recent discourse I was unwillingly embroiled in revolved around stuff like power hierarchies and racial biases in written works, cuz my English Studies class in uni tackled this exact same stuff.

And I don't wanna be like "well my college said this so obviously I'm correct", but what I will say is that R*xis and his weirdo clique would be looked at weird were they in that class lol.

For example, some of the things we talked about after just a few weeks was hegemon powers enforcing their views and perspective onto the people as a new status quo and how that's Not Good™️, and also how the ideas of merit-based power structures and "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" is a hinderance to progress as it puts the onus of responsibility on to the oppressed to escape their own oppression. We discussed all of this because most of the literature we looked at was by black and non-black critics of white supremacy, class structure, and generational wealth. We even looked over the Civil Rights Act and the Housing Discrimination Act to prove points about this.

Claude being written to support Edelgard's ideals not only makes him look worse in a writing sense, but also in a moral, racial, and political sense. He supports what's equivalent to a Booker T. Washington way of thinking when he supports Edelgard in Hopes. He lacks his curiosity, perspective, and unwavering belief in treasuring life in Hopes, character traits that he not only was explicitly shown to have brought with him from Almyra (i.e. BEFORE THE ACADEMY), but were also developed as a result of him being of mixed race. I rake 3H over the coals for its attempts and failures at tackling racial dynamics and oppression in its storytelling, but Claude-for the most part-was relatively unscathed. Then Hopes came and made everything worse.

So, historically in both the FE series and the real world, what Edelgard does is for the worst, and making Claude support that without question is not only a slap in the face for fans of his 3H characterization, but a slap in the face for the first brown main character in the FE series.

[bratzkoo]

skin | joshua

Author: bratzkoo Pairing: university student! joshua x university student! reader Genre: angst, fluff Rating: PG-15 Word count: 7.3k Warnings/note: inspired by sabrina carpenter's skin and olivia rodrigo's driver's license. joshua hong is the loml. bit of a long read.

summary: you’re doing great with your boyfriend of 5 months but when his ex drops a podcast talking about their past relationship and indirectly mentions you, your relationship takes on challenges you don’t know if you can handle.

taglist (hit me up if you wanna be added): -​

requests are open, but you can just say hi! | masterlist

You never expected to fall in love in college, let alone with someone like Hong Joshua. As one of the most popular students at your university, you were used to attention, but Joshua was different. He saw beyond your carefully curated image, past the smiles and the social ease, right to the core of who you were.

Your relationship started slowly, tentatively. Coffee dates that turned into long walks around campus, stolen glances during lectures, and late-night study sessions that had more to do with learning each other than any subject material. You remembered the first time you really noticed him, in your shared Literature class. He was sitting two rows ahead, his dark hair slightly tousled, completely engrossed in the professor's lecture on romantic poetry.

As you watched him scribble notes furiously, his brow furrowed in concentration, you felt a strange flutter in your chest. It wasn't just that he was handsome – though he undeniably was – but there was something about the intensity of his focus, the way he seemed to lose himself in the words, that drew you in.

After class, you found yourself lingering, pretending to organize your bag as you watched him from the corner of your eye. To your surprise, he approached you, a shy smile playing on his lips.

"Hey," he said, his voice softer than you expected. "I'm Joshua. I've seen you around campus, but I don't think we've officially met."

You introduced yourself, trying to ignore the way your heart raced as he shook your hand. His touch was warm, his grip firm but gentle.

"I was wondering," he continued, a hint of nervousness creeping into his voice, "if you'd like to grab coffee sometime? I could use a study partner for the upcoming exam, and you always seem to have great insights in class."

You found yourself nodding before you even fully processed his words. "I'd love to," you replied, surprised by how steady your voice sounded despite the butterflies in your stomach.

That first coffee date turned into two, then three, then countless more. You discovered that Joshua was not just handsome and smart, but also kind, funny, and surprisingly vulnerable. He told you about his dreams of becoming a singer, how he'd spend hours practicing in the shower or humming melodies under his breath.

"My parents want me to have a 'practical' career," he confided one evening, as you sat together on a bench overlooking the campus lake. "But music... it's like breathing to me. I can't imagine my life without it."

You reached out, taking his hand in yours. "Then don't give it up," you said softly. "You have an amazing voice, Joshua. The world deserves to hear it."

He looked at you then, his eyes shining with something that made your breath catch in your throat. "You really think so?"

"I know so," you replied, and the smile he gave you in return was brighter than any star in the sky.

Before you knew it, five months had passed, and you were head over heels. Joshua had become not just your boyfriend, but your best friend, your confidant, your rock. He was the first person you wanted to share good news with, the one you turned to when you were feeling down.

One particularly memorable evening, you and Joshua strolled across campus, your fingers intertwined. The air was crisp with the promise of autumn, and the setting sun painted the sky in shades of orange and pink. You couldn't help but smile as you caught him humming softly under his breath – a habit you'd grown to adore over the past five months.

"What's that song?" you asked, nudging him playfully.

Joshua's cheeks flushed slightly, a bashful smile playing on his lips. "Oh, just something I've been working on. It's not ready yet."

You squeezed his hand encouragingly, your heart swelling with affection. "I'm sure it's beautiful. You know I love hearing you sing."

His eyes met yours, filled with warmth and something deeper – a vulnerability that both thrilled and scared you. "Maybe I'll play it for you someday," he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

As you approached the campus coffee shop, a group of girls whispered and giggled, their eyes fixed on Joshua. You were used to this by now – being with one of the most popular guys on campus came with its share of attention. But Joshua seemed oblivious, his focus solely on you.

Inside the coffee shop, as you waited for your orders, you noticed Joshua's gaze drift to a couple in the corner. A flicker of emotion – was it sadness? – crossed his face before he quickly looked away.

"Joshua?" you probed gently, concern creeping into your voice. "Is everything okay?"

He plastered on a smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Of course. Just thinking about that assignment for Professor Kim's class."

You knew he was deflecting, but you didn't push. There was still so much about Joshua's past that remained a mystery to you. You'd learned early on that he was intensely private about certain aspects of his life, particularly his romantic history. Whenever you tried to broach the subject of past relationships, he'd change the topic or gently steer the conversation in a different direction.

You noticed that all the pictures on his social media only went back about a year, as if his life before that had been carefully erased. It was as though he was trying to start fresh, to reinvent himself. Part of you was curious, even a little worried about what he might be hiding. But another part of you trusted him implicitly, believing that if it was important, he'd tell you when he was ready.

"Don't worry about the past," he'd tell you whenever you hinted at wanting to know more, pulling you close and pressing a kiss to your forehead. "You're my present and my future."

And for a while, that was enough. The way Joshua looked at you, the way he held you, the way he seemed to anticipate your needs before you even voiced them – it all made you feel cherished, loved in a way you'd never experienced before. You told yourself that everyone had a past, and what mattered was the here and now.

But there were moments, fleeting and rare, when you'd catch a shadow pass over Joshua's face. A song on the radio would make him go quiet, or a certain scent would cause him to tense up momentarily. In those moments, you felt the weight of his unspoken history, and you couldn't help but wonder about the ghosts that still seemed to haunt him.

Despite these occasional moments of uncertainty, your relationship with Joshua continued to blossom. You fell into a comfortable rhythm, your lives intertwining in a way that felt both exciting and incredibly natural. Joshua became a fixture in your apartment, his textbooks mingling with yours on your desk, his hoodie draped over your chair.

Your friends teased you good-naturedly about how inseparable you'd become. "It's like you two are joined at the hip," your housemate Anna would say, rolling her eyes but smiling affectionately.

You couldn't deny it. Being with Joshua felt right in a way you couldn't quite explain. It was as if you'd found a piece of yourself you didn't even know was missing.

One night, as you lay tangled together on your bed, Joshua trailing lazy kisses along your collarbone, you felt an overwhelming surge of emotion.

"Joshua," you whispered, your voice thick with feeling.

He looked up at you, his eyes dark and intense in the dim light. "Yeah?"

"I... I love you," you said, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. You'd never said it before, had been too scared of the vulnerability it implied. But in that moment, with Joshua's arms around you and his heartbeat steady against your chest, you couldn't hold it back any longer.

For a moment, Joshua went very still, and you felt a flicker of panic. Had you said it too soon? But then his face broke into the most beautiful smile you'd ever seen, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I love you too," he said, his voice husky with emotion. "God, Y/N, I love you so much."

He kissed you then, pouring all his feelings into it, and you felt as though your heart might burst from happiness.

It was in moments like these that you forgot about the mysteries in Joshua's past, about the sadness that sometimes lingered in his eyes. All that mattered was the love you shared, the future you were building together.

But life, as you were about to learn, had a way of bringing the past crashing into the present when you least expected it.

-

It was an ordinary Friday when your world turned upside down. You were walking across campus, hand in hand with Joshua, discussing your plans for the weekend. The air was buzzing with the usual energy of students eager for the week to end, but something felt off. You noticed people staring more than usual, whispers following in your wake.

"Is it just me," you said to Joshua, trying to keep your voice light, "or are people acting weird today?"

Joshua frowned, his eyes scanning the faces around you. "Yeah, something's definitely up. But I have no idea what."

It wasn't until you got to class that you found out. Your best friend, Ela, pulled you aside before you could take your seat, her face a mask of concern.

"Have you heard the podcast?" she asked, her voice low and urgent.

You blinked, confused. "What podcast?"

Ela bit her lip, then pulled out her phone. "It's gone viral on campus. Everyone's talking about it. I... I think you need to hear this."

As she pressed play, a soft voice filled the air. "I thought he was my forever," the voice said, tinged with sadness. "He promised me the world, promised me eternity. But I guess forever has an expiration date."

Your heart sank as you listened, a cold dread settling in your stomach. The girl on the podcast never mentioned names, but the details were too specific to be coincidence. She talked about a boy who loved to sing, who had a smile that could melt hearts, who dreamed of becoming a performer.

She talked about Joshua. Your Joshua.

"And now he has a new girlfriend," the voice continued, a hint of bitterness creeping in. "She's everything I'm not. She’s popular, I saw her pictures and she’s so beautiful and she smiles pretty, and she has a lot of friends, and I bet she can parallel park. Everything I was always insecure about."

You felt like you couldn't breathe. This was Joshua's ex, laying bare all the pain and heartbreak for the world to hear. And in doing so, she'd inadvertently put a target on your back.

"Ela," you said, your voice barely above a whisper, "how many people have heard this?"

Your friend's expression was grim. "It's everywhere, Y/N. Twitter, Instagram, TikTok... people are reposting it like crazy."

You closed your eyes, trying to steady yourself. "Does... does Joshua know?"

"I don't think so," Ela replied. "At least, not yet. But Y/N... you need to talk to him. This is going to blow up, and fast."

You nodded, feeling numb. "I will. After class. I just... I need a moment to process this."

But as you sat through the lecture, you couldn't focus on a single word the professor said. Your mind was racing, replaying every moment with Joshua, every conversation, every tender look. Had it all been a lie? Was he still in love with his ex? And why hadn't he told you about her?

As soon as class ended, you rushed out, your heart pounding. You needed to find Joshua, to hear his side of the story. But as you stepped into the hallway, you were met with a sea of stares and whispers.

"That's her," you heard someone say. "The new girlfriend."

"I can't believe she'd do that to Yunha," another voice chimed in. "They were so perfect together."

You pushed through the crowd, fighting back tears. This couldn't be happening. It felt like a nightmare you couldn't wake up from.

You found Joshua outside the music building, his face pale and drawn. When he saw you, his eyes filled with a mixture of guilt and fear.

"Y/N," he said, reaching for you. "I can explain-"

But before he could say another word, you felt your world tilt on its axis. The stress, the shock, and the emotional turmoil of the day caught up with you all at once. Your vision blurred, your legs gave out, and the last thing you heard was Joshua calling your name as darkness enveloped you.

When you woke up, you were in the campus infirmary, the harsh fluorescent lights making you squint. Joshua was by your side, holding your hand, his face etched with worry.

"Hey," he said softly as your eyes fluttered open. "How are you feeling?"

You tried to sit up, wincing at the throbbing in your head. "What happened?"

"You fainted," Joshua explained, helping you into a sitting position. "The nurse said it was probably due to stress and low blood sugar. You've been out for about an hour."

As the fog in your mind cleared, the events of the day came rushing back. The podcast, the whispers, the revelations about Joshua's past. You pulled your hand away from his, suddenly feeling like you were touching a stranger.

"Joshua," you said, your voice hoarse, "we need to talk about the podcast."

He closed his eyes, pain etched across his features. "I know. Y/N, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I should have told you about Yunha, about our history. I just... I thought if I could just start fresh, leave all that in the past, it wouldn't matter anymore."

You felt tears welling up in your eyes. "But it does matter, Joshua. It matters because now the whole campus thinks I'm some kind of homewrecker. It matters because you kept this huge part of your life from me. How am I supposed to trust you after this?"

Joshua reached for your hand again, and this time you let him take it. "I know I messed up," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "But Y/N, you have to believe me when I say that what I feel for you is real. More real than anything I've ever felt before."

You wanted to believe him. God knows, how you wanted to believe him. But the doubt had taken root, and you couldn't shake the feeling that everything you thought you knew about your relationship had been built on a foundation of lies.

"I need time," you said finally, pulling your hand away. "To think, to process all of this. Can you... can you give me that?"

The look of hurt on Joshua's face made your heart ache, but you knew you needed space to sort out your feelings. He nodded, standing up slowly.

"Of course," he said softly. "Take all the time you need. Just... please don't shut me out completely. When you're ready to talk, I'll be here."

As he left the infirmary, you felt a piece of your heart go with him. But you also felt a resolve hardening within you. You needed answers, and you were determined to get them – no matter how painful they might be.

The next few weeks were a nightmare. Everywhere you went, you could feel eyes on you, hear the whispers behind your back. People you thought were friends suddenly became cold and distant. Your Instagram, once filled with supportive comments and likes, became a battleground of hate and accusations.

"Home wrecker," one comment read. "How does it feel to steal someone else's happiness?"

Another was even more vicious: "You don't deserve him. Yunha and Joshua were soulmates. You're just a pretty distraction."

You tried to brush it off, to hold your head high, but each comment felt like a dagger to your heart. Even worse was the way some of your so-called friends began to distance themselves, afraid of being associated with the scandal.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," your classmate Hoshi said awkwardly one day after class. "It's just... people are talking, you know? And my girlfriend thinks maybe we shouldn't hang out so much anymore."

You nodded, trying to keep your expression neutral even as you felt another piece of your world crumbling. "It's fine, Hoshi. I understand."

But you didn't understand. Not really. How could people be so quick to judge, so eager to believe the worst about you without even knowing the full story?

You threw yourself into your studies, spending long hours in the library, trying to drown out the whispers and stares with the comforting rustle of pages and the scratch of your pen. But even in the quiet sanctuary of the stacks, you couldn't escape the weight of judgment that seemed to follow you everywhere.

One evening, as you were poring over your textbooks, you felt a presence beside you. Looking up, you saw Anna, your roommate, hovering uncertainly.

"Hey," she said softly, sliding into the chair across from you. "I've been worried about you. You've barely been in the room lately."

You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "Just been busy with studying."

Anna reached out, gently closing your book. "Y/N, talk to me. Please. I know things have been rough, but I'm still your friend. I want to help."

Something in her tone, the genuine concern in her eyes, made the walls you'd built up over the past weeks crumble. Before you knew it, you were sobbing quietly, your shoulders shaking as Anna moved to wrap her arms around you.

"I don't know what to do," you whispered between sobs. "Everything's such a mess. I love Joshua, I really do, but how can I trust him after this? And everyone on campus hates me for something I didn't even do."

Anna stroked your hair soothingly. "Not everyone hates you, Y/N. The people who matter know you're not the person they're making you out to be. And as for Joshua... have you talked to him since that day?"

You shook your head. "I've been avoiding him. I just... I don't know what to say."

"Maybe it's time you did," Anna suggested gently. "You can't run from this forever. And who knows? Maybe hearing his side of the story will help you make sense of things."

You knew she was right, but the thought of facing Joshua, of reopening the wounds that were just starting to scab over, made your stomach churn with anxiety.

"I'll think about it," you promised, wiping your eyes. "Thanks, Anna. For being here, for not judging me."

She squeezed your hand. "That's what friends are for. And Y/N? Remember, this will pass. It might not feel like it now, but it will. You're stronger than you think."

Her words stayed with you as you packed up your books and made your way back to your apartment. The campus was quiet, most students already settled in for the night. As you walked, you found yourself thinking about Joshua, wondering what he was doing, if he was struggling as much as you were.

Almost without realizing it, your feet had carried you to his dorm building. You stood there for a long moment, debating whether to go in or turn back. Finally, taking a deep breath, you made your decision.

The walk to Joshua's room felt both endless and far too short. Before you were ready, you found yourself standing in front of his door, your heart pounding. You raised your hand to knock, then hesitated. What if he wasn't alone? What if he didn't want to see you?

But before you could talk yourself out of it, the door swung open. Joshua stood there, looking as surprised to see you as you were to suddenly be face-to-face with him. He looked tired, dark circles under his eyes, his hair messy as if he'd been running his hands through it repeatedly.

"Y/N," he breathed, his eyes wide. "I... what are you doing here?"

You swallowed hard, trying to find your voice. "I think... I think it's time we talked."

Joshua nodded, stepping back to let you in. His room was a mess, clothes strewn about, empty coffee cups littering his desk. It was so unlike the usually tidy Joshua that it made your heart ache.

"Sorry about the mess," he said, hurriedly clearing some books off his bed so you could sit. "I haven't been... I mean, things have been..."

"Rough?" you supplied, and he nodded, a ghost of a smile touching his lips.

"Yeah. Rough."

You sat on the edge of his bed, and he took the chair at his desk, leaving a careful distance between you. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence heavy with all the things left unsaid.

Finally, you took a deep breath. "Joshua, I need to know the truth. All of it. About Yunha, about your relationship, about why you never told me."

Joshua ran a hand through his hair, his expression pained. "I know I owe you an explanation. I just... I don't know where to start."

"The beginning," you said softly. "Start at the beginning."

And so he did. He told you about meeting Yunha in high school, how they'd bonded over their shared love of music. How their relationship had started as a friendship and slowly blossomed into something more.

"She was my first love," Joshua admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I thought... I really thought we'd be together forever. We had all these plans, you know? We were going to go to the same college, pursue our dreams together."

"What changed?" you asked, trying to ignore the twinge of jealousy you felt at the obvious affection in his voice when he spoke of Yunha.

Joshua's expression darkened. "Life changed. I got accepted here on a music scholarship, but Yunha... she didn't get in. We tried long-distance for a while, but it was hard. We were both changing, growing in different directions. And then..."

He trailed off, looking away. You waited, your heart pounding.

"And then?" you prompted gently.

Joshua took a shaky breath. "And then I met you. And everything changed again. I didn't mean for it to happen, Y/N. I wasn't looking to fall in love. But being with you... it felt right in a way nothing ever had before. It scared me how quickly and deeply I fell for you."

You felt tears pricking at your eyes. "So what happened with Yunha?"

"I broke up with her," Joshua said, his voice heavy with regret. "Over the phone. God, I was such a coward. I told her I couldn't do the long-distance thing anymore, that we were growing apart. But the truth is, I was already falling for you, even if I hadn't admitted it to myself yet."

The pieces were starting to fall into place, but there was still one thing you didn't understand. "Why didn't you tell me about her, Joshua? Why keep it a secret?"

He looked at you then, his eyes filled with a mixture of shame and pleading. "Because I was afraid. Afraid that if you knew about Yunha, about how badly I'd hurt her, you wouldn't want to be with me. I thought if I could just start fresh, be the person I wanted to be with you, maybe I could leave all that guilt and pain behind."

You sat there, processing everything he'd said. Part of you understood his fear, his desire to start anew. But another part of you was hurt that he hadn't trusted you enough to be honest from the beginning.

"Joshua," you said finally, "I appreciate you telling me all this. But... it doesn't change the fact that you lied to me. By omission, maybe, but still. How can I trust you after this?"

He leaned forward, his eyes intense. "I know I messed up, Y/N. I know I should have been honest from the start. But please believe me when I say that everything between us has been real. My feelings for you, they're more real than anything I've ever felt."

You wanted to believe him. God, how you wanted to. But the doubt that had taken root was hard to shake.

"I need time," you said, standing up. "To think, to process all of this. Can you... can you give me that?"

Joshua nodded, his expression a mixture of hope and resignation. "Of course. Take all the time you need. Just... please don't give up on us, Y/N. I love you. I'll do whatever it takes to make this right."

As you left his room, you felt a strange mixture of emotions. Relief at finally knowing the truth, pain at the realization of how much hurt your relationship had caused, and a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, you and Joshua could find a way through this.

But even as you tried to sort through your feelings, you knew that the hardest part was yet to come. The campus was still buzzing with gossip, and you were still at the center of it all. How could you and Joshua ever move forward when the whole world seemed determined to tear you apart?

The next day, as you walked to class, you could feel the weight of stares on you. But something had changed. Maybe it was the conversation with Joshua, or maybe it was just that you'd reached your breaking point, but suddenly, you were tired of being the victim.

You straightened your shoulders, held your head high, and met the stares head-on. You were not the villain in this story, and you were done letting others make you feel like one.

In your Literature class, you found yourself sitting next to a girl named Soo-yun, someone you'd never really talked to before. To your surprise, she turned to you with a small smile.

"Hey," she said softly. "I just wanted to say... I think it's really brave, how you're handling all of this. I can't imagine how hard it must be."

Her words caught you off guard, and for a moment, you didn't know how to respond. "I... thank you," you finally managed. "It means a lot to hear that."

Soo-yun nodded. "I know we don't really know each other, but if you ever need someone to talk to, or just to sit with at lunch so you're not alone, I'm here."

You felt a lump form in your throat, touched by this unexpected kindness. "I might take you up on that," you said, offering a genuine smile for what felt like the first time in weeks.

As the days passed, you found small pockets of support like this. Not everyone believed the rumors, and those who took the time to get to know you often found that the reality was far different from the gossip.

But even as things began to improve slightly on campus, you still struggled with your feelings for Joshua. You missed him desperately, but the hurt and betrayal still stung. You found yourself replaying your conversations, analyzing every interaction, trying to separate the truth from the lies.

One afternoon, as you sat in the campus coffee shop, lost in thought, a familiar voice broke through your reverie.

"Is this seat taken?"

You looked up to see Joshua standing there, two cups of coffee in hand, his expression a mixture of hope and uncertainty.

For a moment, you hesitated. But then you gestured to the empty chair across from you. "It's all yours."

Joshua sat down, sliding one of the coffees towards you. "I got your usual," he said softly. "I hope that's okay."

You nodded, wrapping your hands around the warm cup. "Thanks."

For a while, neither of you spoke, the silence stretching between you like a chasm. Finally, Joshua took a deep breath.

"Y/N, I've been doing a lot of thinking," he began. "About us, about everything that's happened. And I realized something. I've been so focused on trying to escape my past, on being the person I thought you wanted me to be, that I lost sight of who I really am."

You looked at him, surprised by the intensity in his voice. "What do you mean?"

Joshua ran a hand through his hair, a gesture you'd come to recognize as a sign of his nervousness. "I mean that I've been trying so hard to be perfect for you that I forgot that it was my imperfections, my past, all of it, that made me who I am. And who I am is someone who loves you, completely and utterly. Not because you're perfect, but because you're you."

You felt your heart skip a beat at his words, but you forced yourself to stay calm. "Joshua, I appreciate what you're saying, but-"

He held up a hand, cutting you off gently. "Please, let me finish. I know I messed up. I know I hurt you, and Yunha, and probably a lot of other people along the way. But I'm done running from my mistakes. I want to own them, learn from them, and hopefully, if you'll let me, make things right."

You studied his face, searching for any sign of insincerity. But all you saw was raw, honest emotion.

"What are you saying, Joshua?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

He reached across the table, his hand hovering near yours, not quite touching. "I'm saying that I love you, Y/N. All of you. And I want you to know all of me. The good, the bad, the parts I'm proud of and the parts I'm not. If you'll give me another chance, I promise to be completely honest with you, always."

You felt tears pricking at your eyes, overwhelmed by the sincerity in his voice. Slowly, you reached out, closing the distance between your hands.

"I can't promise it'll be easy," you said softly. "There's a lot of trust to rebuild."

Joshua nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. "I know. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes. For as long as it takes."

As you sat there, your hands intertwined, you felt a glimmer of hope. The road ahead wouldn't be easy, but maybe, just maybe, you and Joshua could find your way back to each other.

In the weeks that followed, you and Joshua took small, tentative steps towards rebuilding your relationship. You started with coffee dates, just like in the beginning, relearning each other and having the honest conversations you should have had from the start.

Joshua opened up about his past, sharing stories about his relationship with Yunha, his struggles with self-doubt, and his fears about the future. You, in turn, shared your own insecurities and the pain you'd experienced during the podcast fallout.

It wasn't always easy. There were moments of tension, of old hurts resurfacing. But there were also moments of laughter, of rediscovering the connection that had drawn you together in the first place.

Slowly but surely, the storm began to pass. People found new gossip to occupy themselves with, and the hateful comments began to taper off. You never heard directly from Yunha, but the original podcast was taken down, and you liked to think that maybe, just maybe, she had found her own path to healing.

A year after the podcast incident, you and Joshua sat on the roof of your dorm, watching the sunset. Your hands were intertwined, your head resting on his shoulder. The campus sprawled out below you, peaceful in the fading light.

"Do you ever regret it?" you asked softly, breaking the comfortable silence. "Getting involved with me, going through all of that?"

Joshua was quiet for a moment, then turned to look at you, his eyes filled with a love so deep it took your breath away.

"Never," he said firmly, squeezing your hand. "What we went through... it was hard, yeah. But it made us stronger. It showed me that what we have is real, that it can withstand anything."

You nodded, feeling a warmth spread through your chest at his words. "I feel the same way," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "We've come so far, haven't we?"

Joshua smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "We have. And we still have so far to go. But Y/N, I want you to know that I'm in this for the long haul. Whatever comes our way, we'll face it together."

You snuggled closer to him, feeling safe and loved in a way you'd never experienced before. "I like the sound of that," you murmured. "Together."

As you sat there, watching the last rays of sunlight paint the sky in vibrant hues, you reflected on the journey that had brought you to this moment. The pain, the growth, the love that had weathered the storm and come out stronger on the other side.

You might not have a ring on your finger, might not have all the answers about what the future held. But you had something far more valuable – a love that had been tested by fire and emerged stronger for it. A love built on honesty, on acceptance of each other's flaws and imperfections.

The future stretched out before you, full of possibilities and challenges. But with Joshua by your side, you felt ready to take on whatever life might throw your way, one day at a time. 

As the first stars began to twinkle in the darkening sky, Joshua began to hum softly, a melody you hadn't heard before. You closed your eyes, letting the gentle tune wash over you.

"Is that a new song?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, not wanting to break the spell of the moment.

Joshua nodded, a shy smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, I've been working on it for a while now. It's... well, it's about us. About everything we've been through."

Your heart swelled with emotion. "Can I hear it? The whole thing, I mean."

He hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Okay, but remember it's still a work in progress."

Clearing his throat, Joshua began to sing softly, his voice carrying on the gentle evening breeze.

As the last note faded away, you found yourself wiping tears from your eyes. The raw emotion in Joshua's voice, the honesty of the lyrics – it was overwhelming in the best possible way.

"Joshua," you breathed, "that was beautiful. I can't believe you wrote that for us."

He ducked his head, a blush creeping across his cheeks. "I wanted to capture everything we've been through, everything we mean to each other. I know it's not perfect-"

You cut him off with a kiss, pouring all your love and gratitude into it. When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless.

"It's perfect because it's us," you said softly. "Thank you for sharing it with me."

Joshua pulled you closer, and you settled back against him, both of you content to watch as the sky darkened and more stars appeared.

"You know," Joshua said after a while, his voice thoughtful, "a year ago, I never would have had the courage to share an unfinished song like that. I was so caught up in trying to be perfect, in hiding the messy parts of myself."

You nodded, understanding. "And now?"

He smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "Now I know that it's okay to be a work in progress. That the people who truly love you will accept all of you, rough edges and all."

His words resonated deeply with you. Over the past year, you'd both learned so much about vulnerability, about the strength that comes from being truly seen and accepted.

"Speaking of works in progress," you said, sitting up to look at him, "have you given any more thought to what you want to do after graduation? It's coming up faster than we think."

Joshua's expression turned serious. "I have, actually. I've been thinking about it a lot lately."

You waited, giving him space to gather his thoughts.

"I want to pursue music," he said finally, his voice firm with resolve. "Not just as a hobby, but as a career. I know it won't be easy, and my parents probably won't be thrilled, but... it's what I love. It's who I am."

Pride swelled in your chest. You knew how much courage it took for Joshua to choose this path, to prioritize his passion over the safer, more conventional career his parents had always envisioned for him.

"I'm so proud of you," you said, squeezing his hand. "And I'll be right there supporting you every step of the way."

Joshua's eyes shone with gratitude. "What about you? Have you decided on grad school?"

You nodded, excitement bubbling up inside you. "I got the acceptance letter yesterday. I was waiting for the right moment to tell you."

"Y/N, that's amazing!" Joshua exclaimed, pulling you into a tight hug. "I knew you could do it. You're going to be an incredible psychologist."

As you hugged him back, you felt a sense of rightness settle over you. This was what love was supposed to be – supporting each other's dreams, celebrating each other's successes.

"You know," you said as you pulled back, "we should probably start thinking about where we're going to live after graduation. With you pursuing music and me starting grad school, we might need to look into getting an apartment together."

The words were out before you fully realized the weight of what you were suggesting. Living together was a big step, one you hadn't really discussed before.

Joshua's eyes widened slightly, but then a slow smile spread across his face. "Are you asking me to move in with you, Y/N?"

You felt a blush creeping up your neck, but you held his gaze. "I guess I am. What do you think?"

He pretended to consider it for a moment, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, let me think. Waking up next to you every morning, making breakfast together, having a space that's truly ours... Yeah, I think I could get on board with that."

You laughed, swatting his arm playfully. "Is that a yes, then?"

Joshua's expression softened, becoming serious again. "It's absolutely a yes. I love you, Y/N, and nothing would make me happier than building a life with you."

As you sealed the decision with a kiss, you felt a sense of excitement for the future bubbling up inside you. You knew there would be challenges ahead – the stress of grad school, the uncertainty of Joshua's music career, the everyday trials of living together for the first time. But you also knew that together, you could handle anything life threw your way.

The next few months were a whirlwind of activity. Between finishing up your final semester, apartment hunting, and preparing for the next chapter of your lives, you and Joshua barely had a moment to breathe. But through it all, your relationship continued to grow stronger.

You found a small apartment not far from campus, cozy and full of character. The day you moved in, surrounded by boxes and the chaos of merging two lives into one space, you couldn't stop smiling. This was the beginning of something new, something uniquely yours and Joshua's.

As you unpacked, you came across a familiar box – the one where you'd stored all the mementos from your relationship. Concert tickets, dried flowers, handwritten notes. But there was something new tucked inside, something you didn't recognize.

"Joshua?" you called out, holding up a small, beautifully bound notebook. "What's this?"

He came into the room, a soft smile playing on his lips when he saw what you were holding. "Ah, I was wondering when you'd find that. It's for you – well, for us, really."

You opened the notebook, your breath catching as you realized what it was. On the first page, in Joshua's neat handwriting, were the words: "Our Story: Past, Present, and Future."

"I thought we could use it to write down our memories, our dreams for the future," Joshua explained, coming to sit beside you. "And maybe, someday, we can look back on it and see how far we've come."

Tears pricked at your eyes as you flipped through the pages. Some were already filled – recollections of your first date, the lyrics to the song Joshua had written for you, little sketches of moments you'd shared. But most of the pages were blank, waiting to be filled with the story of your life together.

"Joshua, this is..." you trailed off, overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness of the gift.

He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close. "I know we've been through a lot, and there were times when I was afraid to confront the past. But now, I want to embrace all of it – the good and the bad. Because it all led us here, to this moment."

You leaned into him, feeling a profound sense of peace. "I love you," you said simply, because in that moment, those three words encompassed everything you felt.

"I love you too," Joshua replied, pressing a kiss to your temple. "Now, what do you say we write our first entry as official roommates?"

Laughing, you grabbed a pen and snuggled closer to Joshua. As you began to write, describing the chaos and joy of move-in day, you felt a sense of excitement for all the blank pages ahead – pages waiting to be filled with your shared story.

The coming years would bring their own challenges and triumphs. There would be late nights of studying for you and long hours in the recording studio for Joshua. There would be arguments over dirty dishes and whose turn it was to do laundry. There would be moments of doubt, of wondering if you were on the right path.

But there would also be quiet mornings spent cuddling in bed, lazy Sundays exploring your new neighborhood, and the thrill of celebrating each other's achievements. There would be the day Joshua landed his first real gig, and the night you aced your first major presentation in grad school. There would be family dinners, game nights with friends, and impromptu dance parties in your tiny living room.

Through it all, that notebook would be there, slowly filling with the story of your life together. A tangible reminder of the love you'd built, the challenges you'd overcome, and the future you were creating together.

As you closed the notebook that first night in your new apartment, you looked at Joshua and saw your whole world reflected in his eyes. You didn't know exactly what the future held, but you knew one thing for certain – whatever came your way, you'd face it together, writing your story one day at a time.

After all, your love wasn't just skin deep. It was woven into the very fabric of who you were, a bond that had been tested and strengthened by every challenge you'd faced. It was the skin you were in, the air you breathed, the truth you believed in.

And as you fell asleep that night, wrapped in each other's arms in your new home, you knew that this was just the beginning of your forever. A forever that you would define together, day by day, moment by moment, love by love.

[ch3rriewine]

Photo Booth Kissin' {P.P.}

summary: Peter's an awkward loverboy, but he's your awkard loverboy.

warnings: none i think just fluff :3, TASM!Peter Parker x reader hehe, no use of y/n, reader is kinda like super girly w the bows and sparkles idk

a/n: I HAVENT WRITTEN IN MONTHS SORRY here tho!

Peter’s life was boring—peaceful, but boring. Don’t get him wrong; being Spiderman is cool and all, but Peter Parker’s life could use some work. The most exciting thing that has happened to him recently was the time he got two yolks in one egg. Riveting stuff, right?

During another one of his literature classes that he doesn’t know why he took, he spots you. With a bow in your hair and a knit sweater falling over your figure, your head propped on your manicured hand while scribbling notes with the other. You sit in front of him and if Peter squints, he can see the small doodles littering the pages. Before he knows it, the professor announces that the lecture is done for the day. Peter panics; he wants to talk to you before you disappear and turn out to be a dream, but what would he even say? Doesn’t matter anymore since he chases after you to the door.

“Hey,” he says, looking a tad flushed after tripping over someone's water bottle.

“Oh, hi” you respond, your eyes a little widened at the sudden interaction.

“I, uh, I’m Peter” he say, sticks out his hand for you to shake. You take it and tell him your name. He repeats it in his head about a hundred times.

“I just, uhm, wanted to ask about…” he trails off, trying to remember if there were any assignments given. “The essay he said we had to do, yeah. When is it due again?” he hopes to any higher being that there was an essay due soon.

“Ah, yeah, it’s due next Monday” you reply, giving him a tight-lipped smile, ready to go back to your dorm.

“Cool, uhm, thanks! See you around, hopefully” with that, he bolts, leaving you confused and flushed. Hopefully

The cute boy in your class wants to see you around.

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

Two days later, Peter sees you again. It’s in the same class, and you’re as pretty as ever. He psyches himself up to sit next to you.

You look up from your laptop when he asks you if he can sit next to you. You nod, of course, and smile. He looks nervous, with fingers tapping on the table and cheeks a little red. It’s cute.

“Have you started on that essay?” you ask, trying to start conversation since it looks like he won’t.

“Huh? What essay? We have an essay?” he turns to face you, eyes wide.

“Yeah, the one you asked me about?” you laugh a little.

“Oh, no, I didn’t” his shoulders slump back down, and you smile at him.

“I didn’t either; I had other work to finish” he stares at you a little; it’s flattering, really. How shy he is around you. He barely knows you, but he’s convinced himself that you’re the greatest thing ever. He also may have looked up your instagram and fallen even harder as he looked at all your posts. Peter now knows what you ate at Thanksgiving 3 years ago.

“Same, I’m in STEM so you could imagine” he says, resting his head onto the table. Sleep deprivation a thing he is well acquainted with, unfortunately.

“STEM, wow, you must be smart then. Why’re you taking a classic lit class then?” Sure, you might’ve slipped in a compliment; it's not a crime to flirt a little. It takes Peter a few seconds to respond as he processes what you said, you think he’s smart.

“Uh, I was going through a phase with classic lit at the time, and I’ve been lazy to drop it. And, uh, I’m not that smart—pretty average actually. Like the most moderate person ever” He’s rambling and kind of lying. He’s doing really well in his other classes.

“Yeah? I think you’re pretty smart if you’re in STEM. Not everyday a guy is both pretty and smart.” His cheeks turn even redder, if possible, and he makes a sort of out of breath sound. “If you need any help with this class, I’d be happy to give you my notes on the book”

Jesus, you’re gonna kill the poor boy.

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

From then on, you sit beside him and throw in some flirty comments while he struggles to reciprocate. It feels too good to be true, how you seem interested in him and how you eagerly talk to him after lectures, even giving hm your number to talk about “class”. He’s waiting for the day you ghost him.

“Hey, would you maybe want to, like, hang out? Like on a date or something? Or just as friends! Actually, yeah, just hang out as friends; forget I said date sorry,“ he flounders, waiting for the rejection. Oh God, he’s just messed up the whole friendship and you’re gonna think that he’s weird and a creep and-

“I’d love to go on a date, Peter,” you smile “I was waiting for you to ask.”

“Oh, great, is Saturday at 3 okay? I’ll meet you outside your building and we could walk to that arcade?” He asks, eyes hopeful.

“Saturday at 3 is great. I love arcades, but you have to help me with the claw machines” For someone so smart and handsome, he doesn’t let himself think people like him.

“See you Saturday, Peter” you tiptoe to kiss his cheek, leaving sticky residue from your sparkly gloss and walk to your next class. He stands in place, a little starstruck and a lot flustered. He leaves the lipgloss there.

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

Saturday finally comes, and now it’s your turn to be nervous. You’ve switched outfits countless times, your hair is out of place, and your makeup doesn’t seem to flatter you. You’ve settled on a pretty blue dress with tights to protect you from the small chill. Two little bows clipped into your hair and knit cardigan falling over your shoulders—makeup finally looking presentable enough with maybe a little too much glitter on your eyes, but whatever. Your phone chimes as you’re applying pink sparkly gloss, and your heart skips a beat. He’s here.

You throw your phone and lip gloss in your purse and bolt out the door. You spot him outside your building, as promised. He looks wonderful. Brown sweater and worn-in denim jeans—you can’t believe he’s so shy around you when he looks like that. He finally spots you, and wow, he thinks.

“Hey," he scolds himself for being so casual when he should be whisking you away to Italy, or something. He could’ve at least gotten you flowers.

“Hi, you look great,” you say in front of him, and seeing you up close is making him fall even harder, if possible.

“You look, wow, you’re just, wow” he can’t even believe you’re into him.

“Cmon, I wanna win some plushies,” you say, grabbing his hand and pulling him along. He grips your hand harder and laces your fingers.

The walk is calm and the air is starting to get cool. You talk about class and a show you started. Peter listens intently, making mental notes about what you like and don’t like. Your hands stay intwined, and his thumb traces patterns on the back of your hand. He’s gotten more comfortable and less panicky in your presence, so you get to see his personality shine through. He’s incredibly funny. You can’t stop laughing on your way there, and he can’t stop thinking of more things to make you laugh.

The arcade is dark, with flashing lights from every game. Peter goes to buy some tokens, refusing your offer to pay half. Grabbing Peter’s hand and making a beeline for the claw machines, everyone knows they’re rigged, but you don’t care. You eagerly take the tokens and attempt to win the Kuromi plushie. After the 5th? 6th attempt? When the claw has dropped the plushie, you give up.

“Why do they do this to people! It’s false hope!” you whine to Peter as he laughs at your pout.

“Lemme try,” he nudges you over and puts in a token.

You watch with eyebrows furrowed as he wins it on his first attempt.

“What the hell, Peter?” you crouch to pull the plushie from the machine.

“What? Do you not like it?” He faces you, examining the stuffed, is she a rabbit? What animal even is Kuromi?

“I love her; just, how did you win it?” You look up at him incredulously. He must have some weird power that makes him win every claw machine.

“Oh, I don’t know; just position it right?” He laughs, his eyes crinkling in the process. You want to smooth them out with your fingers.

“Thank you!” you’re genuinely really excited over a cheap stuffed toy, not because you really wanted it, but because Peter won it for you. You wrap your arms around his neck in thanks. Peter freezes. He fees like a teenager at how he’s reacting to a hug of all things. He snaps back and hugs you back. You pull away to kiss his cheek. This is the second time you’ve kissed his cheek, and he doesn’t know how he’ll ever get used to it.

“Lets go play games, pretty boy,” pulling away and leaving Peter to gather his brain and follow along.

You watch as he plays Pac-Man; its silly, but you love his face when he’s focused. Brows furrowed and lips in a thin line. He really is the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen. And he’s infatuated with you! Of all people! You swear half the girls in the class have a crush on him, but he gets nervous around you. You play some air-hockey, which you won (he let you win), and he won you some more plushies and some candy at the infamous claw machines.

When the games get old, the two of you leave the building. The sun is setting at this point, and you’re dreading leaving him.

“Oh, look! There’s a photo booth!” you point, excitedly tugging on his arm. “We should take some pictures.” you drag him into the booth, both of your thighs squished together and his legs at an awkward angle. He feeds the machine a few bucks, and the screen starts to count down.

You put on a sickly sweet smile, scrunching your eyes while Peter smiles big with pearly white teeth on display. The second photo you lean into Peter and he wraps his arm around you, pulling your body close to his. The third photo, you go for it. You grab his face and kiss him. His hands stay in the air as the glitter on your lips transfers to his. You taste like vanilla. You pull away, a little anxious that he didn’t want it. Those thoughts get pushed away when he grabs the sides of your face and kisses you until you can’t think. His hands are warm and big covering your cheeks as his lips move against yours. You reach up to wrap your arms around his neck once more and deepen the kiss. Your lips move together in tandem as he strokes your cheeks with his thumbs, the movement comforting.

The fourth photo is blurry, and you walk out with all your lipgloss on Peter’s lips.

[hwaslayer]

project: make you love me (jyh) | fourteen.

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader x park seonghwa

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 3.8k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, seonghwa in the whole flashback scene!!, kissing/making out hehe, late night food run with yeo and yuyu, some overthinking..

"Wait." Yunho whines softly as he gently grabs at your wrist, pulling you back towards him before you could walk into the science building.

"Yunho." You playfully whine. "I literally have 2 seconds to get my ass upstairs to class."

"Well, I don't necessarily have literature with you anymore, so.." Yunho smirks. "Sorry I just want a few more kisses from my girlfriend since I won't see her until tonight."

"You're too much."

"And you're not?" He teases with a chuckle. You tippy toe to give him another kiss on the lips, Yunho chasing your lips as soon as you break the first one. You giggle against his lips, playfully pushing him back on his chest.

"I'll see you later."

"Mhm." He smiles, adjusting the hood over his head. "Have a good day, love."

"You too." You give him one last wave before you walk off to your class. 

During class, you do your best to focus on your professor; taking notes as you try to keep up with the pace of the class. You can't help but daydream in between about your man, how well break treated you and your friends— though, there were a few other things occupying your mind as well.

But as of right now, you already miss Yunho.

You shift your thoughts to how the night could go, how excited you are to see him and spend time with him after a long day of classes and practice. Class ends up finishing rather quickly, especially as the last half took place with the group activity you had to do. You run to your next class, shooting your friends a quick text in the group chat to see who else has a quick break afterwards.

you: friends, who has a break in the next hour or so?

chaery: me!

you: okay, i'll meet you at the cafeteria? gonna quickly eat before my next class.

chaery: you got it bae!

You find yourself daydreaming a bit more during your Healthcare Ethics class, the majority of the class picking back up on the debate that occurred last week. Yunho sends you a quick text to tell you he hopes you're doing okay in class, following up with his usual 'i miss you' and 'can't wait to see my baby' texts. You smile to yourself as you jot down a few interesting words and phrases that come up during the debate, stringing out your notes enough to help you remember the details for your homework later.

Your professor dismisses your class about 10 minutes early, causing you to dash over to the café and take all the extra time you can get to scarf down some food before the last half of the day occurs. You order some soup and fruits to get you by, sitting at the last free corner table in the café. It's not long before Chaery walks in and grabs a small salad bowl to eat, settling in front of you with a heavy sigh.

"God, what a day already."

"Tell me about it." You pout.

"How's class been?"

"Class is class. I just can't wait until the rest of the day is over. Then we can finally grub on some good food and I can see Yunho."

"Aw." She giggles. "No, same. My schedule isn't as packed this time around, but I still feel swamped or whatever."

"Seriously."

"Is Yuyu in class?"

"Mhm. He's pretty swamped, too."

"I bet. Graduation is gonna come in no time." You nod. "By the way, have you told him already?"

"No. I just haven't gotten to it." You shrug. "It just never feels like the right time."

"I know, I get that." Chaery rests her chin on the top of her hand. "But, Seonghwa hasn't bothered you since then, right?"

"Nope."

"Maybe he finally got the fucking hint."

♣︎ FLASHBACK

"Yunho sent you roses even though he was with us all weekend?" Seungmin swings his keys around his finger as he's the first to make it to the door. Your group just arrived back home after the weekend in the snow, Yunho immediately heading to his apartment to unpack and rest after the drive.

"What're you talking about?" You catch up, with Chaery and Soobin trailing shortly behind.

"Those are roses, no?" Seungmin raises a brow, pointing at the rose bouquet sitting at your doorstep.

"Yes, but I don't think this was Yunho." You pick up the bouquet, reading the small card sitting in the middle. 

"Why wouldn't it be Yunho, though? Who else would it be, babe?" Chaery smiles. "What a dream boat, spoiling his girl even—"

"It isn't Yunho." Your expression changes when you read the card, letting out a deep sigh. Seungmin slowly unlocks the door, grabbing your bags and gently setting them inside the house. Soobin follows his lead and takes Chaery's bags from her hands while the two of you continue to inspect the roses.

Y/N, I'm sorry, and I miss you. Please give me a chance to prove it. - Hwa

"What the fuck? Is he actually crazy?" She holds the card up. "Y/N, you need to toss those."

"But, they're roses." You frown a bit.

"Which aren't even your favorite flowers!" Chaery furrows her brows. "You're not seriously thinking about keeping them, are you? Seonghwa sent these to you. If Yunho sees them, he'll be upset. Rightfully so."

"I have to agree." Seungmin shrugs. "It's weird. Something tells me he's only doing it because you two are a thing now."

"Not one genuine bone in that body." Soobin chimes in as he kicks his shoes off to the side before fully stepping into the apartment. "He had all that time to give you flowers and decided now would be the best time? 

"Y/N." Chaery calls your name a little more sternly this time and you let out another sigh before nodding.

"Yes, I hear you, I hear you." You repeat. "You're right."

"I'll walk you to the dump so we can get rid of that for good and keep it out of sight." She links her arm with yours, leading you to the dumpster across the lot. "Why were you thinking about keeping it?" She asks you softly, a look of concern in her eyes.

"Truthfully, I don't even know. I never expected this from him, so it threw me off guard."

"You don't actually think he'd change, do you?" You look at her with a pursed smile.

"No."

"Good, because I agree. You can't change someone like him." She gives your arm a gentle squeeze. "You're happy with Yunho, aren't you? You glow every time you're with him. He is so, so good to you. He's always been."

"I am, that's not even a question. I just, I don't know. I wasn't thinking, that's all." You get to the dump and toss the bouquet over, giving Chaery a small smile.

"Can't forget this little piece of shit." She rips the card and tosses the pieces into the dumpster. "Are you gonna tell Yuyu?"

"I don't know, does it matter? It's not like it's gonna mean anything."

"I don't know, I think you should. It might seem like you're hiding something from him even though you're not."

"Yeah." Is all you say before the two of you climb back up to the apartment and step inside.

♣︎ END

"I saw him earlier, but he just looked at me and walked past." Chaery adds before taking the fork to her mouth. "His hair got kinda longer."

"Yeah, I saw that." You sigh. "I just don't get what he wants. Apparently him and Hyeri are actually a thing."

"I haven't really seen them together on campus, though." Chaery shrugs. "He's probably pulling the same shit, let's be real. All I know is that you and Yunho are the cutest couple I've ever witnessed." You blush.

"Yunho." You softly say his name and shake your head. "Sometimes, I just wonder how I got lucky with him."

"You're so cute." She giggles. "Are you staying there tonight?"

"Yeah, but I told him we were having our dinner."

"Cute. Are your mom and sister still coming to have dinner with you guys this weekend?"

"I think so."

"What class do you have next?"

"Biostatistics, then seminar before practice."

"I guess I'll see you at practice then? I have to study for physio." You nod as you both clean up, gathering your things before heading out of the café.

"Where are the boys right now?"

"Soobin's at the library, and Seungmin is in class. I just don't remember what." 

"Hm." You hum, passing the library and slowly prying yourself from Chaery. "I'll see you later then."

"Have a good class, learn something!" You give her a tiny smile before you head to your classes for the day.

The day ends up feeling a lot longer, busier, than you expect. It's probably due to all the assignments and in-class projects that you've already had to work on, making it feel like an incredibly productive day. At least time flew by, but you wish you could crawl into bed with Yunho and cuddle up to him. You already feel mentally exhausted even though the semester barely started.

When you get to practice, you and your friends take some time to stretch and warm up before Hyunjin starts to teach the beginning parts of the piece you'll be performing at the big spring fair and night market in downtown. After getting the first two 8 counts down and running it a few times, Hyunjin calls for a quick break before running it in groups to solidify the moves. Yeonjun and Jongho plop onto the floor next to you, watching Chaery and a few other people run through the piece slowly. You sip your water, scrolling through your social media while Yeonjun does the same; Jongho being the first to break the silence.

"Dude, isn't this semester kinda crazy already?" You shrug.

"Mm, yeah. It's okay. I just miss break."

"Break was fun. The snow was hella fun." Yeonjun smiles at you. "Yunho's so cool."

"Yeah, isn't he?" You giggle.

"It was fun having him around. He's easy to get along with." Jongho adds. "Can I say it?"

"Say what?"

"I'm glad you broke things off with Seonghwa."

"Same." Yeonjun adds. "Love you though, you know that right?" You laugh.

"Mhm." You purse your lips into a fine line before letting out a breath. "He sent me flowers when we got back from the snow."

"Ew, why?" Jongho furrows his brows.

"I don't really know."

"Does Yunho know about it?"

"No."

"He should." Jongho says. "He should so he could whoop that ass."

"I thought he was dating Hyeri?" Yeonjun questions.

"Dating is a very heavy word when it comes to Seonghwa."

"True."

"Let's finish up!" Hyunjin calls out, letting the music play in the background while people slowly start to make their way back to the center of the floor.

After practice, you and your roommates head home to get freshened up and have dinner together. Seungmin orders some fried chicken and sides that get delivered in the next 20 minutes— all of you sitting at the table, talking about how your new classes have been. It's nice that you've finally been able to have dinner together since everyone seems so busy with the semester already. The boys end up finishing the last few pieces of chicken, along with inhaling the side dishes while you and Chaery clean up in the kitchen. You head to your shared room, packing up a few things while Chaery sits at her desk to continue where she left off with studying. 

"Can you text me when you get there?"

"I'm walking across the lot." You snort.

"Still! Let me know. I have to make sure you arrive safely." You smile and throw your arms around her from behind, giving her a small kiss on the head.

"I will."

"I love you, have fun. Say hi to Yunho and Yeosang for me."

"I will. Don't sleep too late."

"You too!" She blows you one last kiss, making you giggle as you leave the room. 

"Alright, I'm off!" You give Soobin and Seungmin a wave before heading out of the door. The night is cold, crisp; you can still see your breath in the air. You're excited to finally see Yunho since you haven't been able to respond or give him much attention today. You shoot Chaery a text as you head up the steps to his building, finding yourself at his door in the next few seconds. 

"Hello?" You hear Yunho on the other line, along with the echo of his keyboard.

"I'm outside."

"Oh shit, you are?" He asks excitedly. "Okay, I'll be there in a few!" You giggle as you end the call, shifting your weight back and forth as you wait for Yunho to answer the door. And as promised, he does come to the door— a huge smile on his face.

"Hi." You smile as you wave, Yunho swooping you into his arms.

"It's about time." You laugh. "I missed you."

"I know. Our dinner went on for awhile, we were just catching up about school." You step out of your shoes and head into his room. "Did you eat?"

"Yeah, not too long ago." You set your bags aside and help yourself to his crewneck to change into. "What'd you guys eat?"

"Fried chicken. All that good stuff."

"Yum." He sits on his computer chair, watching as you get your things together. "Do you have to study?"

"Yeah, already." You roll your eyes. "We're getting another small quiz next class." You plop onto his bed. "Are you playing with Yeo?"

"Yeah, I was." He scratches his temple. "Err, I will be again soon." You laugh.

"Okay."

"Let me know if I'm too loud, though."

"It won't bother me."

"Still. Just tell me if I'm annoying."

"You won't even be able to hear me, silly." 

"Come sit on my lap." You playfully shake your head as Yunho wiggles his eyebrows and puts his headset back on; already furiously clicking away at his keyboard as soon as they slip on. You finish up a few other smaller assignments before pulling out your Global Environmental Health textbook to start going through the two incredibly lengthy chapters you've covered in class.

Yunho turns over his shoulder, smiling to himself seeing you studying on his bed. He loves the way his crewneck swallows you, the way you awkwardly sit with one leg stretched and the other folded in; diligently taking notes as you go through the textbook. 

"We're taking a break, right? Cool." Is all you hear Yunho say before he's suddenly in front of you with a smirk on his face.

"Hi." You giggle.

"Hey." Yunho leans over to kiss you.

"What're you doing?"

"Just wanted to steal a few kisses." His next kiss continues to deepen, tongue slipping in to dance around with yours. He gently bites on your bottom lip, causing you to release a small moan in response. Yunho doesn't quit, even when Yeosang comes knocking on the door— softly calling out for Yunho.

"Baby, the door." You giggle and mumble against his lips while he continues to repeatedly kiss you.

"Are you guys decent?" Yeosang softly knocks on the door again.

"Yeah!" Yunho bites onto his bottom lip, slowly prying his eyes off of you before shifting his attention to Yeosang peeking into the room. "What's up?"

"I'm kinda craving incredibly bad junk food. You guys wanna come along?"

"Where?"

"McDonalds, probably. Since it's the closest."

"I'm down." Yunho looks at you.

"I could go for an ice cream cone and fries." Yeosang chuckles.

"That's all?" You nod happily.

"I just need to throw on some pants."

"Oh." Yeosang looks down and backs away from the door. "In that case, I'll be in the kitchen." He shuts the door, making Yunho laugh.

"What?" You look at him as you shut your books close and hop off his bed. "I do need to put on some pants."

"I know. Wish you didn't have to." You feel Yunho's hands come up inside of your sweater, giving your hips a squeeze.

"We're just going to get food, silly." He laughs after placing a chaste kiss to your cheek, throwing on a jacket.

"Yeah. Not my fault you drive me crazy, though." You give him a look just as the both of you leave the room to meet Yeosang in the kitchen. 

"Pants are on. Nice." Yeosang grabs his keys. "Lehhhgo!" You trail behind Yeosang, while Yunho walks behind you. He quickly locks the door and catches up to you two, overhearing your conversation about practice and how there's another performance your group is planning to do in a few months. You're currently telling Yeosang how it'll be bigger than the one your group did before the last semester ended, and how Yeonjun and Hyunjin are freaking out about it even though there's 'time.' 

"I don't know. They just don't know if we'll be able to come up with something new and better in time."

"You guys will." Yeosang looks at Yunho just as he unlocks his car door. "Why don't you do a little couple piece with Yunho or something?"

"Oh, yeah!" You slide into the backseat, buckle in and lean over towards the middle console. "Babe, he's got a point."

"Um, no. He doesn't." Yunho laughs. "I definitely don't dance."

"I know it's in you."

"How would you know that?"

"The party." You snort.

"Yeah, and when I taught you some steps, you got them down so easily. 

"Doesn't mean I dance?! Maybe I just got lucky during those times." 

"Oh, please." Yunho laughs. "I think it'd be cute. You guys should think about it. Add a little something in there."

"It would be fun! Maybe we can do our own thing for something down the long run, too." You smirk.

"Getting ahead of yourself." Yunho chuckles as he boops the tip of your nose.

"Fine, I won't force it." You give him a soft smile, leaning onto his shoulder as Yeosang continues to drive to McDonalds. "Just saying it would be fun." You mumble.

"That'll be something for Seonghwa to see." Yeosang snickers. "Sorry, I don't mean to bring him up, but I can't forget the way he was looking at you two during the tree lighting."

"Yeah, well." Yunho shrugs. "I hope he moves on." Seonghwa, you think. You still haven't told Yunho about the roses and how he had texted you a few weeks back. It's not that you didn't want to— you were just scared, and you weren't sure when the right time would be. Granted, you should've told him as soon as it happened, but it genuinely would slip your mind because Seonghwa was such an after-thought. Would it matter if it didn't really mean anything to you? "Babe." Yunho calls you, making you snap out of your thoughts.

"Hm?"

"You sure you just want ice cream and fries?" Yeosang asks just as he lowers his window at the drive-thru.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

"What were you thinking about?" Yunho asks softly as Yeosang begins the order.

"Nothing, just trying to organize my studying plans in my head."

"Mm." Yunho hums before placing a chaste kiss to the side of your head. Yeosang finishes up the order and pulls up to the first window to pay, with Yunho wiring him some money for yours and his half. Yeosang gently hands you your ice cream cone before handing Yunho the huge bag of food. "Want your fries?"

"Yes, please." Your man hands you your small fries. "Hey, so. Aren't you guys prepping for graduation already?"

"Mm, not really. I mean, they've given us key dates to look out for. But, that's it."

"Are you guys excited?"

"Excited to be thrown into the real world? Nah. Not really." Yeosang laughs. "I've started looking at some internships I could do, or keeping an eye out for places I'd wanna apply to as time gets closer."

"Same."

"Are you guys planning to stay in the apartment for awhile?"

"I guess it depends on where we both find ourselves when the time comes. I'd be down to if it allows."

"Yeah, I agree."

"Or else, it's probably back home for a bit." Yeosang shrugs. "Which, I love my family. Don't get me wrong. But, I definitely don't wanna stay there forever." He looks at you quickly through the rear view mirror. "You're gonna be a senior before you know it."

"Yikes." You giggle. "Not looking forward to it. I think I'll have more of my difficult classes piled next year."

"You'll be fine, Y/N."

"You guys have to come visit us?"

"Yeah. We'll probably be at your apartment more than you think." You laugh.

"Chaery will love that."

"I like your friends. They're good people."

"They are. And fun. I don't know where I'd be without them." You dip your fry into your ice cream. Sooner or later, Yeosang pulls back into the apartment lot and parks in a free spot. Yunho opens your door and lets you out first before following behind you. Yeosang invites him to hop onto another game on Valorant, making you giggle to yourself as they playfully bicker about the last round they had played. 

After washing up in the bathroom again, you head back into Yunho's room and you slip out of your sweats; comfortably taking your spot back on his bed in front of your books. As Yunho and Yeosang finish up in the kitchen, you continue where you last left off— trying to get the most of your studying for tonight.

"I'll hop on in a minute." Yunho says before closing the door. "Baby."

"Yeah?" You look up at him as he leans forward for a kiss.

"Studying some more?"

"Gotta keep up, babe." You chuckle as he kisses you again.

"Can I distract you for just another minute or so?" He asks lowly, pressing his lips to your cheek.

"I think I can spare a minute." You giggle, watching as Yunho pushes your books aside and crawls in between your legs. You wrap your arms around his neck, his large hands coming up your sweater. He fiddles with the band of your panties, thumb brushing over your clothed core in between kisses. 

"Yeo is waiting for you." You slightly whine, trying not to get too distracted by Yunho's touch.

"I know, thats why I told him I needed a minute." Yunho laughs before he looks you in the eye. "Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure you were just thinking about studying earlier?"

"Mhm." You caress his cheek with your thumb.

"Okay. I just hope you know you can come to me for anything."

"I know, love."

"Good." He kisses your forehead. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I will." Yunho walks over to his computer chair and taps his lap.

"You're always welcome to take breaks here."

"Shut up." You shake your head and laugh, bringing your books back to you. You contemplate on telling Yunho right then and there, but you're still not sure why it doesn't feel like the right time, or why you're scared. You don't wanna ruin the mood, and you don't want to make him upset.

So, you brush it off for another day. Hoping you're just overthinking the whole situation.

Besides, Seonghwa must have gotten the hint when you never replied, when you never brought up the flowers. You didn't wanna give him the time and attention he was trying to get from you, nor did you wanna give him the wrong idea.

You really just hope it blows over and that Seonghwa finally moves on, leaves you and Yunho alone. He's had all that time to change and now, it was too little, too late. You're happy, and you hope Seonghwa isn't selfish enough to get try and get in between that.

♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine @soupbinlily @tyongff-ff @jiminiscricket @g1g1l @staytinyinmybpack @woomyteez @gfksz @bitchwhytho @savluvsmingi @thisisntmyrightera @hyukssunflower @miriamxsworld @tmtxtf @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead @carrietwrites @tournesol155 @persphonesorchid @txt-yaomi @mxnsxngie @h-nji @mundayoonimnida @jalapeno-princess @nakiiko @asjkdk @kunikku @idkwgoh @kyeos4ng @agust-d2 @araknoid @bintificreads @primoppang @betray-the-light @aurorasjoongie @wineyoungie @yunholuvrsblog @jaerisdiction @ignoretheskies @luminouskalopsia @naeviscall @vixensss @choisansplushie @arya9111 @my-lightspirit @dazednconfusion @astro-doll-the-star @faesmingi @idfkeddieishot @startinystay @yungigiggles

[zeruby16]

extra credit- kim jiwoong

18+ MDNI

genre: smut, fluff, romance

summary: when you're in dire need of extra credit after butchering your classical literature paper, you ask your class ta, jiwoong, for help.

word count: 3.3 k

warnings: afab! reader, dom jiwoong; usage of pet names (sweetheart, angel, good girl); cursing; oral sex (giving); fingering; penetration; protected sex (always use protection); slightest degradation kink; slight sir kink; slight exhibitionism; please let me know if i missed any!

notes: um..hey y'all so i'm back. trust me when i say this took me like three months to write because being in school made me so uninspired😭 i had major writers block and still do, but my bestie motivated me to finish this. anyways, i have not grammer checked this at all, so please spare me. i hope you all enjoy and i'll try to write more if i can!

REMINDER: 18+ MDNI

you hated the word validation, yet it’s all you’ve ever wanted.

in school, at home, with your friends, you craved hearing people compliment your hard work. 

it made you feel like you were in ecstasy.

so you’d be damned if you got a b in classical literature. it would ruin your perfect gpa, your reputation with your experienced professors, and your sanity.

you needed an a. you were going to get that a.

your main obstacle was an analysis paper on pride and prejudice. 

pride and prejudice for god’s sake.

everything would’ve been fine if jane austen wrote in understandable sentences, but here you were struggling to comprehend how the hell elizabeth fell for mr. darcy. 

the paper was due today and you submitted whatever you could online, but you remembered your professor’s words.

“every project will be graded by me, every paper will be graded by your teacher’s assistant, kim jiwoong.”

kim jiwoong was well-known throughout your university. he was a graduate student who helped out all of his previous professors. it was very noble of him.

he was also the most beautiful man to exist. any girl dropped at his sight, including you.

you were already familiar with jiwoong.

since his previous professors were in the same major as yours, you already had him as a ta for another class.

the other class, the english renaissance, was the worst class you’ve taken. 

you had done perfectly well on every assignment, but then your final happened to be cumulative and you could not remember an ounce of anything pertaining to shakespeare. 

you caved and confided in jiwoong as you always struggled with cumulative finals. then, you scored a 96 on the final.

half of it was on shakespeare. you should’ve failed, but you always got an a.

you knocked on the door twice before waiting for his response.

“come in!”

once you opened the door, you were met with his focused eyes. 

jiwoong was one of the nicest people you knew. he helped anyone who struggled left and right. he even offered tutoring to the students who couldn’t comprehend what went on in lecture.

you had no doubt that he was probably reviewing someone’s paper right now, so they could submit a better product. 

“what can i do for you y/n?” you noticed the slight change in his posture, he had to have a clue as to what you were planning.

“i submitted my analysis paper, but i wanted to stop by and mention how i didn’t comprehend anything from the book,” your eyes contained a hint of dejection. 

“i can’t do anything about it, you already submitted it,” he sternly said, you could see his hand gripping the pen he was using harder.

“i know, but i wanted to apologize beforehand. austen’s works are complex and i read the book three times, but i couldn’t conjure anything in the paper,”

“i tried jiwoong, for weeks, but nothing.”

he sighed while leaning back on his chair. it was working.

“you never struggle with papers,” he mentioned suspiciously.

“sometimes i do, it’s rare though. i’ve only ever struggled once throughout college,” you emphasized. 

“what are you trying at y/n?”

“i was just wondering if there was an opportunity for extra credit,” you innocently asked. you wanted him to give in. you needed him to give in.

he pushes back his hair in distress, while staring you up and down. he may have only dealt with you once, but he knew your ruse.

“you know how wrong this is,”

“jiwoong, i am an adult, you’re an adult. there is absolutely nothing stopping us,” you moved closer to his desk, leaning on it while placing your arms down.

“my integrity will,” you chuckled.

you neared his face as you whispered in his ear, “it hasn’t stopped you before.”

“god the things you make me feel,” he muttered under his breath. you moved away from him, enjoying the teasing.

you walked backward toward the door silently begging for him to stand up. to come rush by your side and help you.

you were in dire need of his assistance.

“do you know how hard it is to see you in class?” he started, standing slowly from his chair.

“to see you laughing with those idiotic boys? to see them staring at you like they have a chance?”

jiwoong makes his way towards you, backing you into the door.

“i’m only having fun,” 

“they can’t handle you y/n. you’re the smartest one in your batch and your beauty is unmatched. they don’t stand a chance,”

“and you do?” you taunted, finding his eyes and then his lips.

his hands made their way to your waist, pinning it against the door. you couldn’t help but let out a small grin at your silent victory.

“of course i do sweetheart, i’m the only one who’s made you scream,” you felt your legs give up on you as his words went straight to your core.

“i’m the only one who’s heard your beautiful moans and small whimpers while you lose yourself on my cock,” his fingers graced your breasts under your shirt.

his touch was cool, but all it made you do was burn. 

you closed your eyes in delight. you forgot how deliberating jiwoong made you feel. it was why you longed for him so much after he helped you the first time.

“what happened? cat caught your tongue?” he smirked seeing you shiver under his touch.

“you act all high and mighty when we both know how easily i can change that.”

“prove it then,” you blurted, wanting to feel his everything and needing him desperately.

“i need you to say it louder sweetheart,” he caressed your face, pulling you closer to him.

“prove it,” you spoke and his lips took yours. he kissed you like you had been apart from years. 

his hands bunched up the skirt you were wearing and he slightly lifted, pausing the kiss to see the view before meeting your lips again.

“you got soaked at the thought of you taking me?” he teased, your face flushed red, avoiding his eyes.

“look at me princess,” his hand forced you to meet his eyes. he was anticipating your answer. 

“did you? did you fantasize about me?” 

you whimpered under his touch, feeling utterly embarrassed at his words, yet you wanted more.

“yes sir, i thought of you,”

“no wonder you couldn’t write your damn paper, you were too busy thinking about getting fucked.”

jiwoong tightened the hold on your waist and guided you towards his desk, stopping when you sat yourself on top of it. 

he pulled away from your lips as he quickly discarded your shirt somewhere in the office. you tossed your bra somewhere, signaling how you wanted his kiss everywhere.

he proceeded to ravish your chest, bruising you as much as he could. it was as if he wanted to prove to others how he was the only one who deserved you.

you started to feel his body under his shirt, while pulling on his hair every so often, earning grunts from him.

annoyed by his shirt, jiwoong lifts it off of himself and leans further towards you, deepening the kiss.

your hands started to reach for his cock, caressing it over his pants. you needed him more than ever.

his brows furrowed at your movements and you unzipped his pants, feeling him closer. he lets you do as you please as you pull down his pants, his boxers joining them.

seeing the hardened member, you immediately stroke it a few times before coating your hand in spit and proceeding to repeat your motions.

“god how are you so good at this?” jiwoong grunted while placing his forehead on yours.

you let go of his member and stood up, grabbing his arms in place and sitting him down on the desk instead. your knees met the carpet and you took him into mouth.

you stopped for a moment to respond to him, “i’m a hands-on learner.”

he lightly moans at your words, recalling how the last time you two were in this position he was guiding you.

in satisfaction, you continued bobbing your mouth up and down his hard-on. you took the time to tease his slit that was already coated with precum and use your hands, slightly squeezing his member. 

he grabbed your hair, somewhat forcing you to quicken your pace. drool had started to spill from your mouth and you looked up at jiwoong, seeing him in absolute bliss.

“my good girl, you’re doing so well,” he cooed.

his words went straight to your core and you felt the need to please him more.

once you felt his hold on your tighten, you knew he was close to cumming. you quickened your pace while his cock started to hit the back of your throat.

his grunts were more vocal and he moaned as his cum spilled into your mouth.

you took everything into your mouth and finished off with a ‘pop’ once you were finished, smiling at him afterwards.

“you’ll be the death of me,” he commented before lifting your body up and holding it as your legs felt like jelly.

“did i do good?” you asked expectantly, jiwoong released a sigh before taking your lips.

“you did amazing, sweetheart, but i think i need a little more for you to get an a,” he chuckled.

“i’m all yours jiwoong, take me.”

he smirked at your words and made his way back to his chair. once he sat, he patted his legs.

“come here sweetheart, we’re going to grade your paper together,” your eyes sparkled at the thought and you walked and sat yourself on his lap, facing the computer.

you shivered as you felt his warm member under you, but he stayed still. once he found your paper among many of the others, he clicked on it and placed his hands on your thighs.

the paper came up and you reread the words, remembering every line that you wrote. you were so focused on reanalysing your paper, that you failed to realize how jiwoong was starting to tease your bundle of nerves.

you let out a small gasp as his finger grazed your core, teasing you every now and then as you grabbed the desk for support.

“let’s see how you did angel,” he says into your ear as he inserts a finger inside of you. 

you placed your head on his shoulder for support and he fastens the pace, while reading your paper.

“eyes on the screen, i already found a mistake,” he forces you to look at your paper highlighting the mistakes. meanwhile, he plunges another finger inside of you.

“you contradicted yourself here, how can darcy be chivalrous once sentence and then an ass in the next,” 

you left his question unanswered, letting the ecstasy you were feeling sink in until his fingers stopped.

“i asked you a question,”

“uhm,” you swallowed, “i don’t know.”

jiwoong chuckled, “you don’t know? this is your paper sweetheart, minus two points.”

you quipped your heads towards him, realizing how he was genuinely grading your paper and begging for him to take it back.

“you want extra credit you have to deserve it, you’re going to explain each mistake you made for me,”

“but-”

“no buts, you asked for this. now, why did you contradict yourself?”

you sighed, silently admitting defeat.

“darcy did everything the way he was suppose to, making himself a perfect suitor in a way, but he completely disregarded elizabeth’s feelings the entire time and decided to act purely for his own interests,”

you could feel jiwoong’s smile as his fingers started to continuously pleasure you. you moaned in relief as jiwoong continued to read the paper.

he tsked, but his fingers maintained their pace.

“and here, you really think elizabeth revealed jane’s and bingley’s possible engagement out of jealousy?”

you shut your eyes slightly annoyed, but answered nonetheless wanting his fingers to fill you.

“not out of jealousy-” you whimpered as he fastened the pace of his fingers, teasing you endlessly.

“out of spite, she only mentioned the couple because she knew it would garner a reaction from darcy,” you somehow let out.

with a hum of satisfaction you assume, jiwoong places his eyes on your paper once again. you rejoice looking at the screen because the paper was nearly done being read.

jiwoong takes his time using his fingers to tease you mercilessly, all while forcing you to maintain your composure.

you begin to feel a haze as you feel a knot in your stomach.

“jiwoong-”

“not yet angel, i’m not done grading.”

your moans grew louder, feeling your climax closer and closer. your eyes looked at his concentrated face as he read and read.

it felt like a decade and you couldn’t handle it.

“jiwoong please,” you begged, not caring about your shame anymore.

you came here for him, the a was just an excuse.

“why do you think elizabeth accepted darcy’s proposal?” 

“are you serious?”

“why?”

“she was desperate for marriage,” you rushed out, starting to lose any complete thought.

“do you think she was as desperate as you are right now?” he said lowly, never wavering the pace of his fingers and reaching your spot.

“i don’t know,” you whimpered.

“what was that?”

“i don’t know!”

“but you know everything sweetheart don’t you? that’s why you think you deserve an a,”

“jiwoong, i’m so close,” you completely pressed your body towards his desk, trying to restrain yourself from touching him.

“i know, which is why i’m not allowing you to cum,” he announced.

you turned to him astonished as he took his fingers out of you and innocently licked your juices from them.

“the paper could’ve been better, i thought you read the book three times?”

“i did,” you nearly sobbed.

“well that didn’t reflect in the paper, so now you have to earn your grade and your right to cum,”

“how?” you immediately quipped, willing to do anything for the man.

“you can start by placing yourself on the desk, ass up,” your body immediately follows through and you stand up with your hands on the desk while facing the door.

you hear rustling of the cabinets behind you as jiwoong finds a condom and he grabs a hold of your waist.

“remember angel, try not to be too loud. everyone is grading,” you nodded understandingly, whimpering as you felt jiwoong slowly entering you.

“god princess, it was like you were waiting for me,” he groaned, waiting for your signal to go as your walls clenched around him.

when you placed your elbows on the desk, positioning yourself in a more pleasurable way, jiwoong took it as a sign to go on.

his pace started slowly, while you moaned under your breath feeling him everywhere. 

“jiwoong,” you moaned while he quickened his pace. although he tried to conceal them, his groans were slowly becoming louder.

“yes sweetheart?”

“more,” you begged, wanting more pleasure, more of his touch, and more of his everything.

“your wish is my command,” he said, bucking his hips towards yours rapidly while using one of the hands that was on your waist to tease your clit.

you let out a moan as he continuously hit your pleasure spot with a steady face. with his other free hand, he grabbed your hair loosely, pulling you closer towards him.

all you could let out was his name in whimpers. 

“you’re so good for me y/n,” the praise went straight to your core as he knew what you wanted to hear.

“such a good girl, you take my cock so well,”

“only for you,” you let out between the whimpers and moans, as jiwoong shows no signs of stopping.

“you wanted this didn’t you? you didn’t even need help, you just wanted to lose yourself on my cock,”

“not…true,” you lied.

you loathed pride and prejudice, but papers were your forte and if you really tried, you knew you could’ve done fine without help.

jiwoong was just amazing at validating you and fucking you beautifully, so you couldn’t help but beg for his assistance.

he slapped your ass in response, “don’t lie to me,” he warned.

“i promise sir,” you nearly yelled, forgetting any sense of being quiet. jiwoong placed a hand on your mouth, muffling any sound.

“you promised last time how this would never happen again didn’t you? look at you now,” he whispered in your ear.

you closed your eyes in ecstasy as you felt the knot in your stomach growing once again.

jiwoong kept on giving and giving, while you just took everything he gave.

“please, ” you begged into his palms, clenching around him while he hit your spot over and over again.

“just a little longer princess, i’m almost there,” jiwoong somehow got faster, ramming into you repeatedly all while you moaned into his hands.

“god, you’re perfect,” he mumbled.

suddenly, it all felt like too much. you closed your eyes in bliss while screaming out jiwoong’s name as you came. your head fell onto his shoulders as he lightly kissed your chin, chasing his release as well.

once his groans grew louder, you felt the warmth of the cum he spilled into the condom as his pace became sloppy.

he slowly pulled out of you as you stood breathlessly in between his arms, beads of sweat slowly falling down your face.

he disposed of the filled condom into the trash under the desk and turned you around to face him.

his goofy smile made you chuckle on the spot as you realized the other reason you wanted to visit jiwoong.

you genuinely enjoyed his presence. he made you feel safe and seen when everyone else had expectations for you. he looked at you as if you were the most important thing in the world at that moment.

desires aside, jiwoong was someone you could love and you were willing to give it a shot.

if he didn’t show how much he cared with words, he certainly did with actions as he showed when he started to clean you up with tissues.

you couldn’t help but laugh.

“what’s so funny?” he quizzically asked.

“you’re using tissues?” he rolled his eyes as he threw them in the trash and lifted your body to sit on the desk.

“well if someone didn’t need help so much, i could’ve prepared with time to bring something more premium,” he joked as you caressed the hairs behind his neck lightly.

“i’m sorry, the pent up stress from finals got to me. you don’t have to do anything with the grade,”

“nonsense y/n, your paper was exceptional either way. you didn’t need extra credit at all. you doubt yourself too much,” he complimented.

“does that mean i get an a?” you excitedly let out, not being able to contain yourself. jiwoong smiled at the gesture.

“yes, but you should probably stop relying on me for them because i am no help,”

“i guess it’s a good thing i graduate this semester then,” you mentioned and his eyebrows perked up.

“you graduate this semester? how come i didn’t know?”

“i wanted you to think i would taunt you for a long amount of time,” he slightly smirked at your confession.

“as if you didn’t have me wrapped around your fingers. speaking of, since you're graduating, when can i take you out on a date?”

“whenever you grow the balls to ask,” you joked as he looked down and up to meet your eyes again.

“maybe when we’re not naked?”

“probably.”

a/n: hope you all enjoyed whatever the hell this was😭 like i mentioned i'll try to write more but this writers block has stumped me. i appreciate you all and thank you for taking the time to read my works! :)

@zeruby16 on tumblr | est. 2023

[changbunnies]

Crave, Part 3 (18+)

♡ Pairing: Romantic Demon!Hyunjin x Plus Size Human Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: supernatural au, demon au, age gap relationship typical in monster fucker fics, the porn with plot you've been waiting for is finally here!

♡ Word Count: 6.4k

♡ Summary: "The more a thing is perfect, the more it feels pleasure and pain." - Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy. In which Hyunjin, a demon from the nine circles of hell, finds himself impossibly infatuated with the very human he once set upon himself to destroy.

♡ Warnings: please read the previous parts before reading this installment <3, part 1, part 2, supernatural abilities, some possessiveness, references to hyunjin's true appearance as a demon, references to vampires and spiders, not much else for this part!

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): some wine drinking (neither reader or hyunjin are drunk), pet names (my love, lovely, baby, gendered language such as "silly girl"), scent stuff ?? (hyunjin has a heightened sense of smell as a demon so. yeah.) dom/sub dynamics, pleasure dom hyunjin (we cheered!), kink exploration and establishing limits + safe words, lots of kissing (per my standard), some nipple play, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), marking + biting + choking but make it Soft™, some crying, multiple orgasms, intended to be overall very romantic!

♡ Notes: here we go, the smut i'm sure most, if not all, of you have been waiting for <3 i usually keep body descriptions pretty neutral so anyone can enjoy but as a big girlie irl i wanted to be a lil self indulgent this time around, i hope those of you who don't fit this description don't mind :') happy reading!

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

Dating Hwang Hyunjin is like a fairytale you thought only existed in the imaginations of young girls that had not yet experienced the disappointment of reality. You imagined he'd be a perfect lover, but you truly hadn't anticipated just how accurate your interpretation of him would end up being. 

He took you on more dates than you could count on your fingers- museums and exhibits, to restaurants you'd never find on your own with delicious menus, on picnics with the scenic views of the city, of nature, or the setting sun, staying until stars hung in the sky and your only illumination was the vibrant moon shining on just the two of you. You learned that he was a reader of classic literature, with an impressive knowledge of romantic poetry and novellas, often able to recite the most beautiful lines you'd ever heard straight from his own memory. 

When he took you to museums, you learned more from Hyunjin himself than the tour guide, and truly it seemed like he was an encyclopedia for all things creative, classic, and romantic in nature. He was multilingual, which you knew from his resume, but to actually hear him recite something in latin with ease was something else entirely; it was if it came naturally to him, like it wasn't technically a dead language, and you almost couldn't believe it was just an extra class he took in college for fun.

He endlessly impressed you- with his beauty, his intelligence, his attentiveness, his.. everything, really. And he never let you feel inferior to him, always assured you how happy he was that you were his girlfriend beyond just taking you out on dates throughout the city. He bought you many, many gifts- clothes that always fit you perfectly that not only suited your tastes but that he thought you'd look beautiful in. Sweet treats, often your favorites but other times just slightly outside your usual comfort zone, just enough to get you to try something new to fall in love with the taste of. 

Stuffed teddy bears or other cute animals meant to remind you of him, jewelry that was sometimes dainty and meant to be office appropriate (in which he'd have the brightest smile seeing you come into work wearing it) and other times lavish, extravagant pieces that somehow were always stunning without being tacky or garish. If he brought you a necklace or bracelet before a date, he'd help you put it on, smiling when it fit you perfectly and complimented your skin tone, always touching you softly and showering you with compliments.

And while acts of service were clearly a huge love language of his, it wasn't like Hyunjin just showered you with gifts and fun dates and expected that to be enough (which would be valid if it was enough for some people, but you want more than that! You value emotional connection!) He always made time for you outside of the office or promised dates, coming to your apartment anytime you asked just to spend time with you. 

He always listened to you so attentively, genuinely interested in things you liked, and listened to your input when it came to what to do for you next date. He listened to your thoughts and ideas, let you vent if you were having a hard day, hugged you sweetly if you needed reassurance or were feeling stressed. He'd spend hours on the couch with you watching movies if that's what you wanted to do that day, and he always paid undivided attention to you or what you were doing together, never pulling out his phone or mentally checking out even once. 

Everyday with Hyunjin feels like it's Valentine's Day- and honestly you can't even imagine what he'll do when an actual romantic holiday or your anniversary rolls around when he's already so perfect to you. Even months into your relationship he still holds open doors for you, still carries anything that at all seems slightly heavy, still dotes on you as if he still has to prove he's a gentleman (when you clearly already know he is.) 

You honestly can't express enough how perfect Hyunjin is, and how much you appreciate the relationship you now have, but.. well, if you're being honest there is one problem. Nothing major, of course, just.. You think you're going to explode if he doesn't fuck you soon, or at least touch you somewhere less than polite.

The first time he kissed you, after your third date and you were certain things were going well, you felt those infamous sparks other people talk about- like every cell in your body was gunpowder and it had just been ignited. You became addicted to kissing him after that, always seeking out his plush, soft and perfect lips, even if it was just for a quick peck to satiate you until later. 

You made out for the first time just under a month ago, and that spark turned into a full on blaze, hot and raging and dangerously close to burning out of control. You wanted him so bad, more than you ever imagined you'd want someone; it was almost sad to say your past relationships and attractions paled in comparison to how Hyunjin ignited your deeply hidden passionate side. 

Still, Hyunjin hadn't touched you intimately yet, and while you suspected it's because he's a gentleman waiting for the right sign or explicit, worded permission, you were going crazy inside. You don't know if you even have it in you to make the first move, truthfully; you feel almost.. intimidated? Whenever you think about it, your mind always travels to how effortless and beautiful he is, and despite how much he shows you that he wants you as his girlfriend, you are admittedly still struggling with thoughts of your own desirability.

It almost makes you feel ashamed despite how natural a feeling it is. You know you should be confident, but it's not something that just comes to you just because you know objectively you're worthy; knowing it and feeling it are different things entirely. You wish you could just pull it together with a snap of your fingers; like c'mon Y/N, you're a beautiful woman who holds an impressive leadership position, who graduated with high honors and has more than enough to show for it! Why wouldn't Hyunjin want you? You're a catch! 

You sigh, setting down the knife you were using to cut the veggies for tonight's dinner with Hyunjin, closing your eyes to collect yourself for a moment. Isn't it a bit pathetic for you to be reduced to insecurity over past rejections and unrequited love when what you have now is such a fairytale? You wish it'd just go away, so you can tell Hyunjin to fuck you until you're dumb and have no thoughts left in your stupid head but his cock filling you up, but- 

You jump slightly when you feel Hyunjin's arms wrap around you from behind, and he chuckles a bit, apologizing for startling you; you were so wrapped up in your thoughts you didn't even notice him rise from the sofa when he heard you sigh and put down the knife. "What's bothering you, my love?" he asks, his chest pressing firmly against your back as he kisses the top of your head, "You seem so tense tonight.. Is dinner giving you a hard time?" 

Your heart always picks up when he uses that affectionate term for you; you're not sure if your relationship could already be classified as "love" when you've only been together a few months, but you love the way it sounds falling from his lips all the same. "No, it's not that.." you frown a bit, not melting into his embrace the way you usually do. 

"Feeling stressed out again?" he inquired next, his hands moving up to your shoulders to feel for any tension and massage it away if it exists. You hum in confirmation, finally melting against his body when his hands rub soothing circles in your tender skin, just deep enough to relieve some of the built up tension without leaving you sore and achy. "Stressed, and.." you pause a moment, biting your lip as you consider if you'll really continue and admit what it is you really need.

"And?" Hyunjin's voice comes out in a soft question, clearly wanting to know what it is you want to say but with no intention to force it out of you. "S-Stressed, and.. frustrated." you finally acquiesce after a short-lived internal fight with your nerves. You're not even entirely sure he'll get the implication behind you saying it in the way you did, if he'll recognize your need for a physical touch beyond what you've felt with him so far but you hope he does, because you're not sure you're capable of just coming straight out and saying "please fuck me before I lose my mind." 

Hyunjin is the next one to hum, his tone relaying understanding. Goosebumps erupt on your skin when he leans his head down to kiss your shoulder and neck, his hands traveling from your shoulder to rub down your arms. "Why don't I finish dinner, hmm? Have you relax in the bath while I take care of everything," his voice is soft, almost a whisper, his hands finding your waist and rubbing carefully over the area before moving down to your hips.

"It'll be finished by the time you're done, we'll have a little wine," he continues, his lips now touching the shell of your ear, his voice directly in your ear, "And after that.. I'll take care of you. In any way you want me to." A kiss pressed to your skin, a shiver running down your spine as you suck in a breath- he definitely got the message. His right hand reaches up to your face, fingers finding their place on your left cheek, guiding you to twist your face to meet his gaze from behind you.

He leans down to kiss you like this, one hand holding your face where he wants it and the other squeezing the meat of your hip. Hyunjin holds the kiss for several seconds, making sure it lingers and tingles on your skin when he pulls away, already expertly planting the seeds of desire and anticipation within your gut. "How's that sound, lovely?" he asks and you blink for a moment, your brain already feeling like it's going to melt out of your ears from how eager and desperate for more intimacy you are. 

You nod, almost dumbly, and he smiles, planting a quick peck to your forehead before he helps you prepare for a bath. He runs the water hot, wanting warmth to linger for as long as you'll need it to once you're settled and used to the temperature, while you spend your time picking out what you'll wear afterwards. You swallow as you rummage through your drawers, possibilities seemingly endless. 

You've never been in a situation like this- a situation where you knew with absolute certainty that you'd be getting your pussy wet by the end. Your sexual encounters were never preplanned, not even with your past boyfriends. It was always spur of the moment, especially since you were too college-then-career focused to spend time on dating apps looking for hookups. Honestly, it was kind of exhilarating; and suddenly you felt like you understood what the appeal of knowing you were going to get laid by the end of the night was. 

And Hyunjin, well.. he promised himself he wouldn't fuck you until he was sure without a shadow of a doubt that you were head over heels in love with him and only him, because it was that kind of first time with you he was seeking. But that didn't mean he couldn't have fun with you in the meantime, did it? And how could he say no when he could literally fucking taste the desperation on you? He'd be a good boyfriend to you, and give you whatever he could within his limits, because you're his perfect girl and he'll always spoil you in any way he can. 

After the tub is full, Hyunjin leaves the bathroom, smiling at you when he sees you standing in the hallway patiently, towel and a change of clothes in hand. "Take your time, lovely," he pecks your head again as he passes by, ready to tackle finishing dinner while you soak in the tub. You texted him instructions just in case before you left your bedroom with your clothes and towel, so you're confident that it'll turn out well without your guidance- and besides, Hyunjin cooks well anyways; you're sure it'd turn out delicious even if he didn't follow your instructions. 

Your soak in the tub is spent entirely on thoughts of Hyunjin's hands and lips on your body, wondering what he'll do and how, and you wonder how much of the heat on your body is from the water and how much is from your own mental images of him between your legs. Thankfully, the water actually does manage to loosen up your tense muscles (despite your anticipation doing you no favors), and you do just as Hyunjin instructed; you take your time. Dinner won't be done any faster just because you hurry, after all, so why not soak and destress and indulge in your little fantasies?

You dry off thoroughly when you step out of the tub, pulling on your prettiest pair of white panties and a silky slip nightgown- a cream color with lace accents on the hems. You brought a cardigan too, just for warmth while you eat dinner, though you don't bother to button it up at all the way, leaving the upper most buttons undone so Hyunjin can have a clear view of your chest while you share dinner. It's a bit bold of you to purposely display your cleavage, but what's the harm in enticing him further? You know he wants you as his partner, but seeming him want you physically too would be everything.

The nightgown is just tight enough to hug your curves, and it also displays your stomach, but.. Well, Hyunjin isn't blind, you're certain he knows that the woman he's dating has a chubbier tummy than other women in the office. But he wanted you out of all of them, and he's spent so much time calling you beautiful and giving you the world, that you imagine he either likes bigger girls, or at the very least doesn't let weight dictate someone's appeal. So, you're not self conscious in the slightest- at least, not about that. You still have nerves, but you think that's natural when you're dating and plan to have sex with someone attractive enough to have people falling at his feet for a chance to be with him. 

When you step out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, Hyunjin is just finishing plating the food and is pouring the wine into two glasses he pulled out from your cabinets, already familiar with where you typically keep them. "Feeling better?" he asks with a soft smile when he notices your presence, and you don't miss the way his eyes drop to your chest, a glint of something flashing in his eyes before he looks back to your face- desire for your body, you hope.

You sit across from each other at your dinner table, having the quietest dinner the two of you have ever shared- though the tension being built is far from uncomfortable. His eyes linger right where you wanted them to, tempting him, teasing him, and you're buzzing with anticipation, almost giddy whenever his eyes meet your again as he sips from his wine. 

Your face is dusted pink all the way to your ears, but you'd blame it on the wine if he asked (though you suspect he'd know better than to believe that.) Hyunjin downs the last of his wine in one gulp when he's finished eating, and you do the same, wiping your mouth carefully with a napkin before you look at him again. He's standing now, gathering the dishes from the table and bringing them to the kitchen. 

You follow, intending to help him wash and put them away, but he tuts at you, saying "Baby, you're supposed to be relaxing and letting me do the work! Go get comfortable and wait for me, hmm?" He instructs and you can't help but smile, doing as he instructs after you thank him, quickly making the trip to your bedroom. 

However, the nerves hit you again once you're in your room, and you sit on the edge of your bed, fiddling with your hands as you think about what you should do next. Just lay down and get comfortable as you would if you were going to bed? Should you present yourself to him? Get into some enticing position he won't be able to resist? Stay right where you are now and let him lead you wherever he wants you?

You've never experienced so much build up before- you almost feel like the inexperienced girl you were in college again. God, you don't know what to do with yourself and you're definitely overthinking it- but you can't help it! Hyunjin is just so.. well, he's Hyunjin. And that alone is enough to send your nerves into overdrive as your mind races with the possibilities of what's to come. 

You hear him chuckle softly when he's in the doorway, looking at you very clearly shy, twiddling your thumbs as you wait for him. It took everything in Hyunjin to not say "fuck this" over dinner and just take you on the table, the lust pouring off you enough to make him lose control if he was a lesser demon. And now, he can hear the thumping of your heart louder than ever, can smell the arousal pooling in your underwear even more clearly than he could over your meal. 

"Silly girl," he says with a near grin as he steps fully inside your room, meeting you right where you are at the edge of the bed, "Why didn't you get comfortable? Sweet thing, you're nervous, aren't you?" He carefully nudges your legs so he can stand between them, and you swallow as you nod and look up at him, not sure how much more of the anticipation you can handle before you snap and just drag him to you in a fervor. 

One of his hands comes to your cheek again, rubbing gentle, soothing circles with his thumb as he leans down to kiss you. He does it slowly, the combination of his soft lips and the taste of wine that still lingers on them making your stomach flip. It doesn't take long for him to introduce his tongue, in the same manner he always does- rubbing over your lips before pushing past them.

You're always left panting, lips stained red by the time he pulls away, and tonight his kisses leave you especially dizzy with need. "Take care of those buttons," he instructs in a near plea as his fingers ghost over your neck in their downward descent, "or I might just pop them off when I pull this off you." Your breath hitches, though you're not sure if it's more from the words or the feeling of his fingers lingering on your neck. 

Hyunjin seems to notice that you like his fingers there, the way he notices everything when it comes to you, and he has to stop himself from smirking as he asks you about it. "My love- do you like being choked?" You almost groan in embarrassment, not expecting him to have already noticed and asked about it. How are you so fucking transparent to him already?

"I-I mean.. I'm curious. I've never done it, because.." Well, probably best you don't get into an ex-boyfriend talk right when you finally have the possibility of Hyunjin fucking you into next week right in the palm of your hands. "Uhm- it just never happened. But it looks nice. Really nice. I, uh- I think I'd like it," you say; certainly true, but without going into detail about how you always struggled to seem to trust your boyfriends enough to release control and let them do it.

It's natural that giving control to someone else is hard for you; you've always been very independent, and your career puts you in a position where you are leading others, always in control of everything. But you like the idea of giving control to someone else in the bedroom, letting them take the lead and decide on how you'll receive the pleasure you crave- the real problem lied with finding someone you trust enough to truly let go with.

You think you can trust Hyunjin- he's been so, so perfect since the day you met him. You firmly believe he sees you for who you are beyond your physical attributes, that he values you beyond the superficial, and that he'd never hurt you (unless you asked him to, of course.) Hyunjin naturally feels all this, can read every emotion that pours off of you- and the fact that you have trust that he'll treat you right positively elates him, knowing he’s one step closer to the love he craves so badly. 

"We can try, see if you like it," he says, soft and careful, "and it doesn't have to be now. We can always wait until later." His fingers now rub over your neck purposefully, never wrapping around but simply familiarizing your skin with the feeling of them there. "Either way, we won't start with that. We need to build up to it first, don't you agree?" he asks and you hum with a nod- building up to it certainly sounds better than jumping straight into unfamiliar territory.

Carefully, and slowly, he lowers himself to his knees, still between your legs, now making it so he's the one looking up at you. "Even if we try it and you decide you don't like it, I'm so happy you trust me," he says before he kisses you once more, all his passion and affection behind the soft touch of his lips. "Do you already know what to do if you don't like it?"

You nod again, having become well familiarized with different safe words and systems you can put in place in your research on the topic when you first found out you might be into the rougher side of intimacy. Hyunjin tuts his time, displeased by the fact that you nodded instead of verbally answering him. "I need you to tell me what you know."

Despite the tone he used, his eyes are still soft, and you can tell he genuinely cares about your safety and comfort, aiding more in the trust you feel. "Sorry, I- I know what to do. Uh, traffic lights..?" you suggest, preferring that over coming up with a random safeword that you may not even remember if the time comes to use it. Hyunjin smiles again, telling you that's good before he kisses you again, making sure all your nerves melt away now that the key elements are established. This is supposed to be fun and enjoyable above all else- nothing else matters but that. 

"Now, be a good girl and take care of those buttons like I asked you to, lovely," Hyunjin instructs in a gentle tone after he pulls away from your lips. With another shiver, you quickly do as you're told, fumbling with the buttons just slightly in your rush to get them all undone. You probably should've been more graceful about it- purposeful, maybe even sexy, but honestly you were acting before even fully considering how you'd appear. 

With the buttons undone, Hyunjin pulls the cardigan down your shoulders, and you pull your arms out of the sleeves. You pay no attention to where it gets discarded, Hyunjin's lips back on your much too distracting to care about something so trivial. "Gonna take care of you now," he whispers against your lips, his fingers coming to bottom of your nightgown, where the hem squeezes against your parted thighs, "use your words if I do something you don't like."

You tell him you will, and he smiles again, rewarding you with one last sweet kiss to your lips before his lips trail your neck instead, his hands pushing your nightgown up your thighs until your thighs and panties are completely exposed. One thing Hyunjin is confident of from his time looking over your porn history, it's that you love biting- and while he's unsure if it's just a fantasy you have that has remained unfilled in reality, similar to choking, he's decided it's the first step he's going to take in gently finding your limit and what boundaries you want to set between fantasy and reality.

Carefully, after his kisses to your skin have become familiar, he presses his teeth to the sensitive skin, and you gasp before he even has the chance to actually bite down. To Hyunjin's absolute delight, you tilt your head to the side to expose more of your neck to him, giving him all the permission he needs to sink his teeth into your soft, unmarred skin. You let out an involuntary squeak at first, the unfamiliar sensation sending a pool of heat to your gut- the act always seemed so hot, and now you knew for sure you loved it. 

It wasn't just the physical feeling of it you loved though- you loved the idea of your lover's marks remaining on your skin for days, leaving behind evidence that someone touched your body and brought you bliss. And while you'd certainly cover the marks with makeup for work, the knowledge that you and Hyunjin would share, that they are there just below the surface your concealer has created, would be so fun and exciting.

His hands leave your thighs, finding the straps of your nightgown and pulling them down, until your breasts are exposed for him to see. Pulling away from your neck, he admires you- the way your skin blooms with fresh bruises and impressions of his teeth, your nipples hard and begging to be played with, and your pretty white panties stained with arousal. You can see the lust in his eyes as he looks you over, and it makes you bite your lip in anticipation for what he'll do next. 

"I've told you so many times you're beautiful, haven't I?" he asks as he takes your heavy breasts into his hands, though you can tell it's rhetorical- he's not expecting a real response from you. Instead, he continues to speak as his hands squeeze and thumbs rub over your nipples. "But I haven't told you how fucking sexy you are yet, isn't that right? You're so alluring, it drives me crazy sometimes. Did you know that?" 

You can't help but let out a soft whine as you shake your head, completely clueless to the fact that you ever made him as crazy with need as he made you. You hoped you did plenty of times, but you really didn't know until now just how much he was holding back from having his hands all over you. His hands move to your hips next, fingers slipping into the band of your panties. 

You lift your hips from the bed, letting Hyunjin pull the soaked fabric down your thighs and then your legs, tossing them quickly aside. You hold the bed for additional support as he spreads your thighs further apart, sucking in a nervous breath when he looks directly at your dripping heat. The fact that he's on his knees for you is already enough to have your heart feeling like it's going to beat out of your chest, but when he starts planting sensual, open-mouthed kisses to your thighs, mixed with carefully placed bites, you're done for.

Your thighs twitch with each kiss, jolt with each bite, your nails digging into your bed sheets before he's even at where you want him most. And God, when he finally kisses your pussy, you feel so worked up that you could cum just from that simple stimulation alone. When his tongue meets you it feels like heaven, your head falling back and an almost embarrassingly loud moan tumbling from your lips. 

Hyunjin starts licking you up slowly, almost teasingly, and you can't even complain; because even though you still want more, it's already so good. It's when he's done with his teasing and really gets going that you're left truly breathless- he pulls you closer to his face, to the point your ass is practically hanging off the bed, but he throws your legs over his shoulders, using his hands to hold you in place, right where he wants you against his mouth. 

Your whole body is trembling from the pleasure, and this position makes it so that your hips can't move unless he lets them. Even as you unconsciously twist and jolt from the pleasure, you're always firmly in place, unable to escape his tongue even if you wanted to. You cum almost embarrassingly fast like this, barely able to warn Hyunjin you're close before you're crying out in absolute bliss, eyes rolling to the back of your head. 

You expect Hyunjin to set you down as you catch your breath, but that's the exact opposite of what happens; against all your expectations, he keeps going, his tongue sliding over and around your sensitive clit, drawing out your orgasm until the pleasure mixes with tingles of painful overstimulation. You stutter out a curse, loud whines and begs leaving you in a nearly unintelligible jumble- though you're not entirely sure if you're begging for him to stop or keep going.

His hands carefully move from your hips to squeeze the meat of your ass as he continues holding you where he wants you, tears pricking the corners of your eyes from the unrelenting onslaught of pleasure. You're certain you're going to receive a noise complaint from your neighbors, unable to control your volume as another, more intense orgasm rocks your body. The tears lingering in the corners of your eyes fall as you cum once again, and you can hear and feel Hyunjin groaning against you, evidently taking just as much pleasure in this as you are. 

He's careful as he moves your trembling legs off his shoulders, helping you to fully rest your weight back on the bed. When he stands, he helps you get your head to the pillows before he's laying next to you, your sensitive body jolting once again when this time his fingers rub between your slick folds. "How're you feeling, my love?" he asks, wanting to make sure he's not overwhelming you too much.

You're definitely overwhelmed, but in the best way possible, and you stutter out a shaky "green," to which Hyunjin smiles. "What a good, perfect girl you are," he praises you, pressing lingering kisses to tear-streaked cheeks, "My sweet thing, you're all for me, aren't you? A good girl just for me?" You nod quickly, brain fuzzy with the desire to be anything he wants you to be. "'m a good girl, all for you Hyun, only you."

You have no idea how much those words affect him- and you're sure if your brain wasn't so foggy from the pleasure, you'd have noticed how he had to clench his teeth and take a breath to stop himself from pulling his cock out and fucking you into the mattress right that moment. Patience, restraint, it's not the right time, he has to desperately remind himself.

Even as his fingers slide inside your heat and hug him tightly, he has to make a conscious effort not to lose himself in the thought of what you'd feel like hugging his cock instead. In all his years of lust, he's never been this close to losing control of himself; but fuck, he's never wanted someone as bad as he wants you, and you're so slick and warm and tight, it takes all he has to ignore the desperate throbbing of his cock. 

Hyunjin finds your spot within seconds, and your eyes are rolling back, fists once again straining and tugging against the sheets. He adds a third finger when you seem ready for it, pumping at a steady pace before he's curling his fingers into your spot again. He's at your neck again now, his teeth making contact with your skin just as they had before while his fingers continue their motion between your legs. 

When he bites this time, it feels different- rather than the dull pain and ache his teeth brought before, this feels more.. sharp? You let out a loud gasp as the sudden sharp feeling buries further into your neck, as if Hyunjin is a vampire digging his fangs into your skin. Did he actually have fangs this whole time and you didn't notice..?

No, that seems impossible- and honestly you feel too fucking good right now to even put much more thought into it. You're sure it just feels that way because now that he knows you're comfortable with the sting, he doesn't need to show anymore restraint when biting, and is now putting more force into his bite- that's all that makes sense. He speeds up his fingers as his teeth sink further into your skin, his thumb firm on your clit, and it's enough to send you over the edge for a third time, your back arching off the bed as you let out a string of expletives and moans. 

Fuck. When Hyunjin pulls away, he knows he fucked up, quickly retracting his fangs before you can notice them. The two holes left behind in your skin from his fangs make it look like you were bit by a fucking vampire, or a huge ass spider. Unlike the hickies, that's not the kind of shit you can just hide with makeup, and when you look at yourself in the mirror tomorrow you'll definitely have questions about how the fuck he managed to do that with dull, human teeth. 

But when you look at him, absolutely blissed out and eyes hazy with pleasure, he decides that it's a problem for future Hyunjin; you're both already in the moment, and why ruin it now? He's still not quite done with you, after all; he's supposed to be relieving your stress like a good boyfriend. And what better way to relieve all your stress and tension than to make you cum again and again, until your body is as weak as jelly?

"Can you handle one more, lovely?" he asks, rubbing your cheek with his unoccupied hand. You lean into his touch, a soft smile on your face as you eagerly nod, ready to take all he wants to give you. He returns the smile, planting a lingering kiss on your swollen, self-bitten lips, praising you once more. His hand trails down to your neck, fingers lingering on the surface while his other hand resumes its motion between your legs.

"Tell me how you feel, baby," Hyunjin instructs softly, and you look at him with glassy eyes, stuttering out your answer. "Y-Yellow. Feels g-good, but 'm nervous," you say honestly and he coos and comforts you, assuring you he won't squeeze unless you want him too; for now, he'll just hold his hand in place, let you familiarize yourself with the pressure before you decide if you want anymore than that. 

Soon enough your eyes are rolling back once more, your pussy clenching around his fingers as he drives you close to orgasm just as expertly as he did each time before, letting yourself go completely as you become familiar and comfortable with his hand on your neck. You're babbling almost incoherently about how good it feels, but there's one thing in your string of words that he hears loud and clear, and that's "more."

"Want me to squeeze, lovely?" he asks, wanting to make 100% sure that he's not mistaken, and you nod quickly, repeating the word "squeeze" with a soft, pleading voice, followed by a string of "please, please, please." You don't have to beg for a single thing when it comes to Hyunjin, but fuck, does he love hearing it more than he's ever loved anything. 

And so he does as you ask, gently of course, since it's your first time experiencing it. And your body immediately reacts, gushing and clenching hard around his fingers as your mouth hangs open in a silent wail of pleasure, your last orgasm of the night hitting you like a semi-truck. Hyunjin slides his fingers out of you, planting soft kisses to your heated, sweat laden skin as you come down from the high.

He steps away just for a moment to bring you some water, helping you sit up enough to drink it before you fall back against the bed, body limp, utterly spent and exhausted. "Hyun.. what about you..?" you ask in a sleepy voice, and Hyunjin chuckles softly, patting the top of your head after he wipes the sweat from your brows. "I'm good, baby, this was all for you. Feeling better now?"

You hum with a soft smile, curling into him and closing your heavy eyes. Hyunjin does his best to fix your nightgown and clean you up, once again chuckling when you start to softly snore after he manages to get you under the blankets. As a demon, he doesn't need to sleep, but he lies next to you anyways, wrapping his arms around you and smiling as you snore into his chest. 

There's an anxiety that lingers in the back of his mind, the reality that come tomorrow you're going to see an abnormal mark on your neck and how he'll have to face what that means for your budding relationship. Does he tell the truth? Would you even accept him if you knew? As far as he knew, humans hated and feared demons, and demons in turn weren't supposed to be fond of humans.

Loving you was against everything he understood about himself, and loving him would be against what you understood about yourself. Hyunjin closes his eyes, and for the first time in centuries, he forces himself to take the sleep he doesn't need- because if this is where his relationship with you goes up in flames, then he wants the last good moment to be spent as human as he can possibly make it.

i hope you enjoyed thus far, there's just one more chapter after this! and as a preview this is what i will say: …. sex with hyunjin in his demon form. i hope this intrigues you :) <3

[satoruxx]

omg so like i saw ur event open and uhm what afe akaashi + this side of paradise by coyote theory 🫶

pairing: akaashi keiji x reader | 2.1k+ words summary: college au, student akaashi, pining (ofc), basically reader monologuing about her crush on akaashi for 2k words (i mean same), both of them are introverted af tho, which means they're both idiots (i'm speaking from experience hehe), nerds being nerds, overall just lots of fluff and overthinking !! a/n: AKIIIII hello hello <333 ty for sending this in lovely !! can you believe this is my first time writing for a haikyuu character?? and it so happens to be akaashi skhfkdjds i adore him !! this was so cute to write i was kicking my feet and giggling. i remember being obsessed with this song a few years ago and now that i wrote this i've been listening to it on repeat !! anyways i hope you enjoy this hehe <3

literature class was by far your favorite one of the day. you liked the stories you got to read, because it meant that you could fall into a world of your own and let your mind race with ideas. you liked how kind the professor was, passionately speaking about a subject only few could teach. you liked that it was an afternoon class, not too early for sleep to still be clinging to your eyes and yet not too late for the day's exhaustion to hit your body.

and you liked the way akaashi keiji looked as he intently listened to the lecture.

it was an accident at first. you'd gone into the lecture hall on the first day as early as you could, just so that you could scope out the corner most seat. the one away from the front where all eyes rest, but close enough from the far back so you could still pay attention. it was a fairly unpopular place to sit, so you wouldn't have to worry about any chatty seatmates trying to pull you out of your comfort zone.

only after a week of class, during one of the more boring lectures when your focus was waning and your eyes were wandering, did you notice him. akaashi keiji sitting in the row in front of you, closer to the other side of the room but angled in the perfect position for you to see his side profile.

his fingers curl under his chin as he rests his face in his palm, glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose precariously. he doesn't seem to mind though, eyes roaming over the board before settling on the professor again. occasionally, he'll look down at his notes to jot something down and then fidde with the pen mindlessly.

you just think he happens to look very pretty.

not that you'd ever tell him that.

no, you'd much rather stay hidden in your quiet corner of the lecture hall, where you can simply observe from the side. where you can avoid opening your mouth because oh god you know if you ever spoke you'd make an absolute fool of yourself.

it's better for you to remain alone, because that's how you've always preferred it to be. that's how you like it.

you think maybe that's why you're drawn to akaashi keiji.

he reminds you of yourself. always alone but never unhappy. he seems to enjoy solitude, just like you do. even when you manage to catch a glimpse of him around campus, he is by himself, nose buried in a book or pencil dragging against sheets of paper. he'll occasionally have headphones plugged into his ears, drowning out the world in a way you know all too well.

you like that about him, how similar he is to you. sometimes your friends will tell you that you need to socialize more, because human interaction is healthy and required and oh so important. they're right, but they don't understand how difficult it can be when you're so used to your own company. or when your brain is constantly conjuring up ideas on how strange you must look or sound. you think you'd much rather wait for the opportunity to socialize to fall right into your lap, not seek it out yourself.

so yes, in your opinion, it's completely acceptable to settle for just admiring akaashi keiji from afar. every time you sit in literature class you're grateful enough to just get the chance to see the small things he does. which pen he'll choose to write with for today's lecture, or whether he'll forgo paying attention to instead bury his face in a novel. that's enough for you.

but right now you need to push thoughts of akaashi keiji out of your head. you need to focus on finishing your reading assignment for literature class. and you want to focus, but it seems like every where you go someone is intent on making it as difficult as possible for you. you head to the library, and it's oddly loud in there. you try to find an empty classroom, and they're all filled with students. you just need a quiet place on campus where you could be alone and focus.

but you can't find any. you're about to give up and head back to your apartment when you spot a small alcove in one of the campus gardens, hidden by stone walls and leafy vines.

you send a quick thanks to the heavens and take a seat, making yourself comfortable and pulling out your book and notes. you don't know how long you sit there, cut off from the outside world as you read through pages and pages of the story, occasionally taking notes and rereading passages. you're only aware of the way the sun travels across the sky, indicating that time is indeed moving. you like it here, in this little space away from the rest of society, and you think you could remain here for so much longer.

"what do you think of it?"

you look up and your stomach drops as your eyes take in akaashi keiji standing over you, his bag slung over his shoulder. you only gape at him, not having enough time to prepare yourself for this sudden interaction. all you can manage is a stupid "huh?"

"the book. what were your thoughts?" he asks again, pointing down at the novel laying in your lap. you have to force yourself to stop staring at him and open your mouth.

"it's ridiculous." you answer lamely and akaashi's lips quirk upwards.

"it's a shakespearean tragedy..." he says and you suddenly think that your answer might've been a dumb one, but then he's nodding in what seems to be agreement. your breath catches as he bends down to take a seat next to you. "...of course it's got themes of ridiculousness."

the soft fabric of his sweater brushes against your skin and you almost choke, because your palms feel sweaty and your heart is racing and you think you might be breathing too loudly and-

"i felt the same way." he says, his finger coming to rest on one of the sticky notes you've put in the margin, where your summarized thoughts are scribbled down. "though i firmly believe desdemona was the true victim of the play."

you're still blinking at him owlishly, and you can practically see the way his shoulders drop as he attempts to withdraw his forwardness. "i'm sorry i shouldn't have-"

"i agree," you say hurriedly, effectively halting his words. "she deserved better than what she got. if i were her i would've blamed him for killing me instead of myself."

akaashi blinks, before a light smile graces his face, and he's nodding along with you. "for sure. leave it to the male main character to make the ending all about him."

you laugh before you can stop yourself, fiddling with the corners of the page. "i think we're dumbing it down a little too much."

"we probably are." akaashi muses, his fingers coming up to nudge at his glasses before they slip down his nose. he pauses for a second, glancing at you carefully before speaking again. "you...sit in the row behind me, right?"

oh no, has he noticed the way you stare at him? does he think you're creepy? you don't even want to hear what he has to say next. what if he-

"this is usually where i come to read alone. i've never seen anyone else here before." he continues, looking around the hidden little alcove.

you panic subsides and you immediately feel guilty. "oh shoot, i'm so sorry. i was looking for a quiet place to finish the book and i passed by here. i didn't mean to-"

akaashi is shaking his head immediately, hushing your apologies with a laugh. "no no, it's alright. i didn't mean to make you think i was angry about it. i don't mind sharing this spot. it works wonders when you need some quiet time."

maybe it's the tone of his voice or the way his eyes shine behind the frames of his glasses, but you find yourself relaxing before you can process it, giving him a half smile and a small shrug. "that's nice of you. i just...know how annoying it can be when people invade your space. especially when you want to be alone."

akaashi pauses, giving you a curious glance before his faces eases into a warm smile. he nods just slightly before shrugging. “that’s true. but…i don’t find myself all that annoyed right now.”

it’s obviously not meant in any other way but friendly, but that doesn’t stop his words from making your heart race. you only give him a shaky lopsided grin and try to take a leap of faith.

"well how did you feel about the ending monologue?" you ask, and akaashi chuckles, easing into the wall behind him as an invisible weight is lifted from his shoulders. he begins to answer your question, and a slight feeling of pride bubbles in your stomach.

you're actually talking to akaashi keiji. you took the leap of faith.

and it pays off because akaashi remains there with you for hours after that. you both take turns ranting about the novel, eventually drifting off into other topics that have the two of you easily conversing like you had been friends for years. by the time night has fallen and you both are packing your things, you're wondering why you were ever nervous to begin with.

“i’m glad that you found this place. it’s really peaceful.” you comment with an easy going smile and akaashi returns it almost immediately.

his tone is light when he speaks up. “you’re welcome back here anytime.”

you end up taking him up on the offer many times afterward.

a part of you worries that maybe he might find you annoying. but he always just gives you that soft smile, patting the ground next to him as he allows you to invade his space over and over again.

besides you don’t know this yet, but he only allows this for you.

because truthfully, akaashi keiji has thought you were pretty since the moment he first saw you in literature class. he’s not prideful enough to deny the way his eyes have drifted over to you during the lectures. to watch the way you tap your pen against your lips or to gaze at you when you doodle on the corner of your notes.

but he figured these feelings were something he'd keep to himself because god knows akaashi was nothing if not introverted. he would never have even dared to approach you and open his mouth since he knew in his gut that he would somehow fumble his words once he was in front of you. so why would he risk it? he wouldn't, he decided. he had made up his mind.

but then you're in front of him, curled up against the stone walls of his reading spot, all immersed in your book and his legs are carrying him forward before he can even process it. and then he's blurting out all these words while cursing himself internally because he can practically see the hesitation in your face as he basically forces you out of your comfort zone. why did he do it? he loved seeing you in your own little world, an easy smile on your face as you enjoyed your own company. now he's shattering your peace, dragging you out of it by the ankles and he wants to kick himself.

but you're always such a pleasant surprise, welcoming him into your space like it's nothing. and he knows it's not nothing. if there's anyone who can understand what a struggle it is to reach out a hand to someone, it's him. but he's grateful you built up the courage to continue a conversation with him. because now he finally has his foot in the door, and it's given him a confidence boost he sorely needed.

now that he meets you almost everyday in your shared little corner, talking about the most mundane and trivial things like it's always been a thing between you two, he feels better about what's to come. because he's dragged you into his space too, and you've become so integral to it that he can't imagine what it was like to be lonely in the first place.

but hopefully, you like being lonely with him too. because soon enough he's going to blurt out his true feelings in the form of a shaky jumbled confession, and all he can do is hope and pray you feel the same.

[fluentmoviequoter]

Literary

Requested Here!

Pairing: college!Victor Vale x fem!reader (literature student)

Summary: You take it upon yourself to show Victor the beauty of literature.

Warnings: fluff, spoilers and references to: The Outsiders, A Merchant in Venice, Invisible Man, The Hound of the Baskervilles, The Lord of the Rings, An Ideal Husband, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Hamlet, Frankenstein, The Most Dangerous Game, Pride and Prejudice. I also reference some of Schwab's other books

Word Count: 2.5k+ words

Victor Vale Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

Picture from Pinterest

Victor is leaning over a book, scribbling notes every few lines.

“What are you reading?” you ask quietly, sitting beside him.

He flips the book up, showing you the cover of one of his many textbooks.

“Hmm. I thought you were actually reading.”

“I am.”

“No, you’re studying.”

“What’s the difference?”

You sigh, shaking your head as you murmur, “Maybe the two different world we lived in weren’t so different. We saw the same sunset.”

Victor ignores you, returning to his notes on adrenal responses.

“Vic, what’s the last book you read?” you ask. “I mean, what’s the last thing you read that wasn’t a textbook, required reading?”

“I think you know.”

“You really need to stop reading your parents’ books, but that’s not my point here. What’s the last fiction piece?”

“I don’t read fiction.”

Your jaw drops, shock evident in your features as you fail to speak. Finally finding your voice, you momentarily forget you’re in a library as your voice raises to repeat, “You don’t read fiction? Why?!”

“Nothing to learn from it,” Victor replies with a shrug.

“Vic.”

He glances at you as a few people whisper for you to be quiet.

“Why read something that isn’t true, that you can’t learn from?” Victor asks.

“Who says you can’t learn from fiction? Just because it didn’t happen doesn’t mean it can’t teach you something. We learn from trees, fish, paintings… literature is no different.”

Victor shakes his head, and as you look at your assigned reading, you realize you must do something.

“Meet me in your dorm after your class tomorrow,” you whisper before standing. “I have a lot to teach you.”

Victor watches you leave, shaking his head before trying to focus again. He has trouble remembering how you became friends sometimes, but then he remembers how you met…

✯✯✯✯✯

1 Year Ago

Someone decided to put Shakespeare on the top shelf. You sigh, looking around to see if anyone is nearby to help you.

“Who puts one of the most-read authors in history up so high?” you ask under your breath.

Stepping back to gauge if you could jump and reach it, you run into someone. Warm hands land on your biceps for a moment before dropping away.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologize.

When you turn around, his arm is over your head.

“Which one?” he asks.

You blink at him, growing distracted, before whispering, “A Merchant in Venice. Please.”

He nods, pulling it off the shelf and lowering it between your chest and his.

“Thank you.”

He nods again and steps back before you rush to introduce yourself.

“Victor,” he offers.

“Nice to meet you, Victor. I’ll see you around.”

His pale brows furrow and you immediately decide you will see him again, no matter what it takes.

✯✯✯✯✯

Present Day

“You’re late,” you chide as Victor enters his dorm.

“How did you get in here?” Victor asks, ignoring your comment.

“Eli keeps a key hidden under the doormat.”

“Idiot,” Victor mumbles.

“I concur, but we’re not here to talk about Eli. In fact, I wish I could forget his name.”

Victor neither agrees nor disagrees, but asks, “What are you here to do?”

You raise your brows, smiling as you tease, “What do you want me to do?”

“I’d like you to leave,” Victor replies flatly. “But it seems unlikely.”

“What and how much had I lost by trying to do only what was expected of me instead of what I myself had wished to do?”

“What is that?”

“Invisible Man, H.G. Wells,” you reply, smiling.

“Why do you make everything about books?”

“Look, I’m here to convince you that fiction, that literature, is beautiful. Vic, there are more lives in literature than we could dream of living; whatever you want to do, learn, be, it’s all in there.”

“Is this going to become another debate on whether pride or prejudice is more detrimental to character development?”

You sigh, looking at the stack of books you brought. Victor watches you, and when he realizes that you’re serious, he removes his trench coat and joins you on the couch.

“You have ten minutes,” Victor tells you.

“Okay, then I get to ask questions, too,” you counter. “So, first, what is your issue with fiction?”

“It’s fake, unbelievable.”

“They don’t have to be about an immortal woman finding her reincarnated lover or parallel earths. Being made up and being unbelievable aren’t inherently connected. Middle-Earth isn’t real, but the imagery makes it realistic.”

“One out of a million, well, I’m convinced,” Victor says, hitting his thighs.

You stretch your arm out past him to stop him from standing. “What kind of fiction did you read before coming to this conclusion?”

“Uh, I remember reading fantasy in middle school.”

Waiting for more, you ask, “And?”

“That’s it.”

Chuckling, you lean toward him. “Literature isn’t about one type of story, Vic. You don’t have to choose a genre and stick to it. No two books are the same because no two people or stories are the same. There isn’t fiction or nonfiction, mysteries or romance, you can read any and everything you want. It’s both/and, not either/or.”

“If your argument is now ‘read what you want to read,’ why can’t I stick to my textbooks?”

You groan, laying your head against Victor’s shoulder. “Because I can’t rest until I help you see why literature is so beautiful and impactful. Why do you think I’m studying it, giving my life to it? Because it changed my life, Victor, and if you give it a chance it can change yours, too.”

“Then what is it you want to do?”

“Is this an invitation?”

Victor sighs as he nods, his shoulder warm from your touch.

“Then, I’m going to teach you and you’re going to be patient and give it a chance.”

“Fine. Where do we start?”

“I mean, your parental trauma is begging for a look at Hamlet, but we’ll ease into it.”

✯✯✯✯✯

You intentionally left a copy of Invisible Man by H.G. Wells on his table when you gathered your things after visiting Victor. While you walk to the library to meet him, you hope he’s read it.

“Hey,” you greet softly.

Victor nods, sliding an anatomy book onto the return shelf.

“Glad I caught you while your friends are busy,” you tease, taking the chair closest to him.

“Alone—it is wonderful how little a man can do alone! To rob a little, to hurt a little, and there is the end.”

“You read it. Even though it’s completely unbelievable and unrealistic?”

“All men, however highly educated, retain some superstitious inklings.”

Your eyes widen as you realize that he not only read it in its entirety but enjoyed it enough to remember it.

“Racism, symbolism, foreshadowing,” Victor lists off. “It wasn’t completely incapable of teaching something.”

“Did you just admit you were wrong?”

“No.”

“So, are you open to more?”

Victor shrugs, and you slide a worn copy of The Hound of the Baskervilles to Victor. He picks it up, touching the cracked spine before looking at you.

“Sherlock is famous,” you answer, smiling brightly.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Stapleton was a deceiver,” Victor says, rushing to your side as you exit class.

“What?” you reply, surprised to see him.

“The hound- it’s a symbol of his deception and the entire time the moor is symbolizing the cloudiness of the mystery because it wasn’t a real mystery. Stapleton’s death was completely avoidable, yet he isn’t even the one to be attacked by the hound.”

You stop, grabbing Victor’s coat to stop him as well.

“You read the entire book last night?”

“I- I couldn’t put it down,” Victor admits lowly.

“Do you see what I mean now?”

“I’m- I’m starting to. Uh, what next?”

“I don’t have another book for you right now. We can go get-“

“Yes. Please,” Victor adds.

“Ready to try fantasy again?” you ask with a smile.

Victor inhales deeply before nodding. “I trust you.”

✯✯✯✯✯

When Victor closes the book, he stares at the cover.

“Well?” you ask. “Don’t say anything bad about Aragorn, that’s all I ask.”

“He and Legolas portray a really- a perfect friendship,” he answers.

“Amity.” Victor glances up at you, and you explain, “Amity is usually associated with Shakespeare. His male friendships were built on this mutual respect and beneficial relationship qualities, but Tolkien used it in his creation of the Fellowship as well.

“I think…” you pause as you look at your overflowing bookshelf. “It’s time for a play.”

“Please no Shakespeare.”

“Okay, one, we need to get you over your irrational fear of the Bard.”

“It’s not irrational, he makes me want to puke.”

“Because he makes you feel things; must be weird for you.”

Victor rolls his eyes, and you smile as you find what you’re looking for.

“Oscar Wilde. An Ideal Husband.”

“What’s it about?”

“An ideal husband.”

Victor huffs, and you quote, “Seriousness would be very unbecoming of him. Pray be as trivial as you can.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Victor, the point of books is to read it the way you’re supposed to read it. And if you want to talk after finding out what it’s about – in your eyes – then we can. As you gain experience it will be easier to find the common ‘accepted’ views too. But the point is to read for yourself.”

“Experience is merely the name men gave to their mistakes.”

You gasp, rushing to stand over Victor. “You’ve read Wilde before!”

“Just Dorian Gray when I was a kid. Thought it might help me escape the cookie cutter I kept getting shoved into.” Noticing your smile, Victor asks, “What?”

“You’re getting symbolic and theme-y. My literature lessons are rubbing off on you.”

“Something certainly is,” Victor replies, looking at your leg pressed to his.

“Are you ready to admit I’m right?”

“Not if it means the lessons end.”

“Oh, never. We’re a two-man book club now, Vic.”

✯✯✯✯✯

“Are you here to speak to me as Lord Goring speaks to Mabel?” you ask, blocking the doorway.

“More like Mrs. Cheveley to Robert.”

“If you keep using literature references, I’m going to fall in love with you, Vic.”

“I have a request,” Victor says, drawing your attention (and his) from your comment.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

He moves to your bookshelf after you open the door, quickly finding what he’s looking for. He holds it up, and you cross your arms.

“You sure?” After he nods, you say, “Go for it. It’s short, read it here if you want.”

Victor doesn’t have to be told twice, tossing his coat over the back of your couch and making himself comfortable with a copy of Hamlet.

✯✯✯✯✯

“This is too long,” Victor reads.

“It shall be to the barber’s, with your beard,” you reply.

“Don’t spoil it,” Victor reprimands.

“Though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me.”

✯✯✯✯✯

Within a few hours, Victor is done with the play and pacing.

“Still want to read your parents’ books?” you ask.

“Yeah. But- if Hamlet can deal with an actual ghost, I guess their passive aggressive advice isn’t so bad.”

You chuckle before pointing out, “Hamlet was troubled when Horatio, Marcellus, and Barnardo told him. If it assumes my noble father’s person, I’ll speak to it isn’t an outright acknowledgment of who it is. It isn’t until he talks to the ghost that he seeks revenge on his uncle.”

“Which applies to me in no way,” Victor argues.

“What does Hamlet do to get revenge?”

Sighing, Victor answers, “Nothing.”

“Hamlet changes his reaction because of his morals and his thoughts. You can change your view of your parents like that, too.”

Victor sighs, and you see his poorly hidden smile after you say, “Though I personally won’t decide to forgive them for what they did to you.”

✯✯✯✯✯

“What’s your favorite book?” Victor asks.

You answer without hesitation, then ask, “Why?”

“Can I read it?”

“Sure. If you admit you were wrong.”

“I was wrong. Literature can be good, and it is possible to learn from fiction.” He quiets to add, “And you have good taste.”

You lean closer, turning your ear toward him as you ask him to repeat that.

 “I’m not your Lord Goring or your Mr. Darcy or any other dashing soulmate,” he says.

“No, you’re not,” you agree. “You’re my Victor Vale.”

Victor’s phone buzzes, and he rolls his eyes as he reads Eli’s message.

“Is he still working on the EO thing?” you ask. When he nods, you murmur, “Someone never read Frankenstein.”

“Would I like it?”

Nodding, you sit beside Victor. “Be careful with Eli, though. Books can teach a lot, but anything short of Richard Connell’s The Most Dangerous Game won’t prepare you to deal with him.”

“What’s that about?”

You consider not telling him, but he nudges you with his elbow, and you concede. “A man who hunts other men for sport.”

Victor hums, looking back at his phone. “Can I admit something else?”

“Depends.”

“I didn’t lie about my thoughts on reading, but I learned something else.”

“When?”

“The week you forced me to read Pride and Prejudice.”

“You learned that you must be in want of a wife. I suppose I could be convinced to consider a proposal.”

“No. Darcy taught- he said, ‘My real purpose was to see you, and to judge, if I could, whether I might ever hope to make you love me.’”

Twisting toward Victor, you lay your hand over his heart. “The only people for me are the mad ones.”

“Is that a yes? A maybe?”

“It’s a yes,” you whisper. “I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.”

“I don’t know that one.”

“I told you; we’re easing you into it,” you remind him, kissing his jaw and chuckling when his breath catches.

Bonus: 10 Years Later

“What happened in Merit, Victor?” you demand.

Victor stiffens at your use of his name, no ‘Vic’ or pet name. Rather than telling you the exact truth, he takes your hand and says, “I was benevolent and good: misery made me a fiend. Make me happy and I shall again be virtuous.”

You relax, pulling him close as you reply, “We’re not having the argument about you being a monster again, but you know I’ll do everything I can to make you happy.”

Victor returns your hug, and you feel a small paperback in his pocket, smiling at how much has changed.

“The world is made up of two classes – the hunters and the huntees. No one will blame you for this, Vic, but it will never be the same.”

“I have you and your books,” Victor replies. “There is no one more equipped for change than us.”

“I can’t believe you used to be against fiction and now you carry around a barely legible copy of my favorite book.”

“What can I say? It is love. Love, and only love. For both of us a new life is beginning.”

[rubykgrant]

Because of REASONS, I remembered my Scooby-Doo character designs from a few years ago. I decided to touch-up the picture a bit and fix a few things. So, here they are again! If I were to totally make my own “dream version” of Scooby-Doo, this isn’t exactly the “style” I’d prefer them in (something a little closer to the classic), this is just a cute and simple style I use when I want to get an idea for basic body-types, hair, and outfits. As for the story, I’d toss together all my favorite things from every previous version, but the basic plot would go like this; the kids all originally met when they were very little, trick-or-treating on Halloween, and solving the mystery of some mean older kids who were stealing candy. During middle school, they wound up moving away from each other for various reasons... but all reunited in high school! They had a fairly normal time, solving mundane mysteries and such. After graduation, they decide to take a road trip together, and THAT is when they truly become Mystery Inc. A mixture of the old-school plots, some new adventures, and yes- sometimes the spooky things ARE real! I’d honestly aim for it to be PG-13, it doesn’t need to be turbo-edgey and grim-dark, but they can say swears. There would one F-bomb in the whole show, and Freddy gets to say it~

(some character notes below)

I drew Velma first because I’ve always wanted to update her outfit as sort of a sleeveless sweater-dress kind of thing. I gave her red shorts instead of a skirt, and I think it somehow made her look more sporty but still cute. Some orange high-tops sort of bring it together. I wanted her hair to have something like a flapper-girl style, and I kept classic style square glasses because she works them (and still can’t see without them). Velma is easily the most adorable. She’s still the “smart one”, but she doesn’t know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING; history, science and chemistry, literature, and math are what she excels at. She also has a near photographic memory, and although she understands a lot about technology (in terms of software/programming/coding), she isn’t too great with machines. Some background for her; Velma is mixed Japanese/Mexican and Jewish. She’s also trans and a lesbian~

I knew I wanted Daphne to look really fashionable, but also in something simple and comfortable. I gave her a purple halter top/skirt with a leg-cut on one side, and loose lavender jeans. She almost never has pants in her main outfit, but I think it gives her a fun nostalgic look of the 60s and 70s. I moved her green scarf up to her hair, and gave her matching green earrings. I like the idea that because she’s a little clumsy (Danger-Prone-Daphne) she’s taken lots of athletic lessons to try and make up for it; she’s done ballet, gymnastics, Karate, boxing, archery, played different sports like soccer/basketball/baseball/tennis, swimming lessons, and equestrian classes. Basically, when she’s in “alert-mode”, she could probably handle just about anything… but when she’s not paying attention she tends to trip (though, she’s kinda of backwards-lucky by stumbling into clues this way). Daphne can speak several languages fluently, she’s got perfect pitch, is super sensitive to textures so she can recognize any material, and has a gift for being very charming and intuitive. Some background for her; her dad is Iranian, and her mom is Scottish. She’s also bi~

I always wanted to give Fred a blue jacket. I just think it suits him. He’s also got light-blue jeans, and a white long-sleeve shirt (with a red collar to replace the ascot haha). He’s got a little bit of a farm-boy vibe (hence the belt and work boots). He’s all about cars and other machines, a real  Mr. Fix-It, and he loves taking stuff apart to see how it works. As a result he’s pretty good at his other hobby besides mechanics… TRAPS. Fred also practices being an escape artist, so if he ever gets caught he’ll be able to get out of almost anything. Although he’s certainly not “stupid”, he has a tendency to be a bit oblivious and a little too headstrong. He’s got a heart if gold though, and everybody who knows him would agree that he’s endlessly kind. Some background for him; Fred’s parents went missing around when he younger, and so he’s had a few different foster families. He doesn’t get reunited with his folks until much later (learning more about his family, he finds out he’s mixed Italian/Norwegian). He’s also bi~

Shaggy doesn’t need much changing (if I altered too much, he just wouldn’t look like Shaggy anymore). I have him a white long-sleeved shirt under his classic green one, changed his brown pants into cargoes (all loose fitting, Shaggy likes it baggy), and gave him some black sneakers. He’s naturally still got long hair and a scruffy chin (plus some sideburns). Even though he’s a well known scardey-cat, Shaggy has a deep love for horror movies and fictional spooky stuff doesn’t seem to bother him. His various fears and phobias have actually made him a safety expert; not only does he usually carry a back-pack with a fully stocked first aid kit, he knows how rescue somebody who is drowning, all the safety procedures for different vehicles/aircraft, CPR, and survival tactics (he actually knows more medical facts than Velma). Despite being so thin and lanky, he is almost always eating, sometimes thinking with his stomach rather than his head. He’s always happy to share though, and he even cooks great meals for his friends (mindful of allergies and what-not). Some background for him; he’s Canadian First Nations and Jewish on his mother’s side. He’s also trans, bi and ace~

Scooby was maybe the most difficult to draw… he’s so iconic, and I wasn’t sure how to draw him in this style but still make him look like Scooby. I’m not sure if I succeeded, but I think the result isn’t too bad. Shaggy found Scoob as a pup, and they have been best friends ever since. Like Shaggy, Scooby loves to eat and hates to be afraid, but he’s only a coward when something threatens him; if a monster or villain is going to hurt one of his friends, Scooby always comes to their defense. People forget that he’s actually a very big strong dog because he’s usually so gentle and silly. Scoob knows all sorts of trick from the typical “sit/roll-over/shake” to more impressive stunts. Although he loves attention and praise, the best way to get him to do anything is to bribe him with a Scooby Snack! He’s a very smart animal, and the fact that he can communicate when he smells or hears something suspicious that people might miss is a real asset for solving mysteries. Like any good dog, Scooby is loyal and lovable~

[mxnsxngie]

Meant For Me (P.S): Chapter 1

Warnings: talks of sexual encounters and prior drunk shenanigans but no detailed scenes

Word Count: 1893

Author's Note: Okay SO! I have never written a series OR smau OR for Ateez before, but here we go! I hope you all like one Park Seonghwa, and I hope you enjoy!

Let Me Know What You Think!

“I swear this place has the best coffee” you hummed as you walked across the coffee shop with your friends to grab a large table for everyone.

“Girl we’ve known they do” Mae said as she plopped herself into one of the seats at the table.

“I know that, but it still somehow baffles me every time” you say as you sit down in a chair beside her, laughing at her.

“Same here, it’s soooo good! I couldn’t survive without it” Cassi says as she sits across from you. You all nod and hum in agreement. So what if you were all caffeine addicts?

“Okay so spill, how did you find your soulmate and what’s he like?! I want to know everything!” Cassi says as she looks over at Mae, turning towards her.

“Oh my god yes! Please tell us about the guys that’s managed to keep you holed up for like, 3 days” you chuckle as you turn towards her too.

“Okay first of all, he is sooo good. When y’all find your soulmates you’ll be doing the same, because girl it is amazing! But we’ll get back to that!” Mae says causing you all to laugh at her. She could be a bit dramatic but somehow you didn’t think she was exaggerating on this one. You only hoped you’d get to experience this.

“So, remember how I mentioned I have a project for my literature class that we had to have a partner for and I got paired with that extremely pretty guy?” She asks you and Cassi.

“Yeah! Oh my god, no way? Is it him?!” Cassi asks in surprise.

“She’s getting there, let her tell the story” you laugh at your friends eagerness.

“I’m getting there! But yes, that guy! So we were meeting up at the library to work on the project and he beat me there. I was walking towards him and like my clumsy ass tripped! I think it must have been on a cord or something, but I tripped and landed on his lap. Thank god he caught me, but my heart was racing and l thought it was from the fall. But I looked at him, and my side kind of started tingling, right where my mark is. And I realized when I landed in his lap, he caught me by my side so I wouldn’t fall off him. It took my breath away, and then I realized when he caught me my hand was kind of on the side of of his face, like my hand in his hair on the side of his face, and right under my thumb, he had a mark by his eye where I was holding him! We kind of just sat there for a moment looking at each other after that” she laughed a little, but had a dreamy look on her face.

“Stop that’s so cute! But how did the disappearing for three days happen?” Cassi asked with a smirk.

“Oh that’s the best part! So after we were looking at each other for a minute, he leaned over and kissed me and it was like literal sparks were flying. I was breathless when we pulled back and he asked if I wanted to go back to his place to get acquainted before we did the project, so we scrambled to grab our stuff and went to his. And uh, well we spent the next couple of days alternating between fucking like animals and working on the project” she laughs. “But god the things that man can do, he is something else” she groans.

“Sounds like it” you laugh, looking at the dazed look on your friends face.

“God I can’t wait for that” Cassi sighs as she sips her coffee.

“I hope I get that cause it sounds amazing” you say as you look at your drink before taking a sip, trying not to be too disappointed.

“Oh you will and you’ll love it. It’s a like a whole other world when it’s with your soulmate. Ooo speaking of!” Mae says as she jumps up from her seat. You laugh at her as you and Cassi stand up and follow her to where she’s run over to a group of four guys who walked in. She immediately is hugging one of them as he gives her a brief kiss and takes her hand as she leads them back to where you and Cassi are standing at the table.

“Guys this is my Yeosang! Yeosang, these are my best friends Cassi and y/n!” Mae says as he reaches his hand out to shake both of yours.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you!” You say as you shake his hand. Mae wasn’t exaggerating, he was stunning.

“Nice to meet you too! This coffee shop looks really nice” he says as he shakes Cassi’s hand.

“Isn’t it?!” Mae says to him with a smile.

“Oh so it’s okay when he talks about the aesthetic but not me?” You say with a brow raised.

“Yeah, you talk about how cute places are all the time, but this is the first time he’s ever really said a place is aesthetically pleasing” Mae says with a smirk.

“Yeah yeah I see how it is” you say with a joking eye roll, causing everyone to laugh.

“Oh I’m so sorry! I should introduce the others!” Yeosang says as he looks over to his friends

“This chaotic dumbass is Wooyoung” Yeosang says as he gestures to a shorter man with dark hair.

“First of all, I take offense to that. But hi, you guys can call me Woo, nice to meet you” he says with a smirk as he shakes both of your hands. You snickered at his attitude, Mae was going to be great friends with him.

“This is Hongjoong” he introduces as he claps his friend on the shoulder.

“Pleasure to meet you” the shorter blonde says as he shakes your hand before moving towards Cassi.

“And the tall one here is Seonghwa” he says as the tall dark haired man steps forward to shake your hand with a beautiful smile.

“It’s nice to meet you” he says, as he smiles down at you.

“It’s nice to meet you too” you say smiling back as you get lost in his eyes for a second as you shake his hand. He really was stunning, and you couldn’t explain it, but something about him felt comforting. Just as a light blush was taking over your cheeks, you hear a pair of gasps come from your right. You all turn your heads to see Cassi and Hongjoong shaking hands with their eyes locked in shock.

“Are you guys okay?” You ask as you slowly drop Seonghwa’s hand and turn to stand next to him as you look at your friends in confusion.

“It’s you?” They both accidentally say in unison before laughing together.

“I’m confused here” Seonghwa says from beside you, just as puzzled.

“No fucking way! This is great! Our friends are soulmates too!” Mae says as she bounces a little beside Yeosang.

“Wait really? They just looked at each other” Yeosang says in surprise.

“Yeah but it’s different for everyone. I didn’t have a mark, but I guess ours was eye contact” Cassi says quietly, still looking Hongjoong in the eye as she smiles.

“I can’t believe I found you” Hongjoong says smiling back.

“Well shit! That’s awesome! Now we just need to find Hwa’s” Woo says as he claps Seonghwa’s shoulder.

The tall man beside you groans as everyone starts moving to sit down at the table and takes a seat.

“I already told you man, I don’t think I have one” he says as he sits down and you sit on one side of him while Woo sits on his other side. “Besides, you haven’t found yours either” he tells his friend with a scolding look.

“Yeah but I will, I know they’re out there. I’m not convinced I don’t have one like you, mom” Woo teases his friend as Mae and Cassi turn in surprise.

“You don’t think you have one? That’s funny, y/n doesn’t think she does either” Mae says from beside Yeosang as they hold hands.

“Mae!” You screech at your friend.

“What? It’s true!” She says as if it’s the simplest thing.

“Wait seriously? That’s a little weird. What a coincidence” Woo says with a smirk at Seonghwa.

“It is a little! Maybe you’re each others soulmates and don’t know it yet” Hongjoong offers with his arm around Cassi.

“Guys I know you all want to help but I don’t think I have one. If I do that’ll be great, but I’m really doubting it” you say a little defeated.

“I have to agree, it’ll be great if we do have one, but until then we’re fine, so let us figure it out?” Seonghwa speaks up form besides you. Everyone nods and murmurs their agreement before changing the subject.

As everyone starts talking, you feel Seonghwa slowly take your hand from beside you and you look up at him.

“Sorry that happened. I knew my friends could be like that, but I didn’t realize yours were too. I didn’t want you to get roped into that.” He says quietly as he looks at you, rubbing your hand with his thumb.

“No it’s okay, I’m used to it honestly. But thanks for that, I appreciate you calming them all down. It’s nice to not be the only having to do that anymore” you say with a chuckle as you smile at him. You felt a little warmth where his thumb rubbed your hand as he held it. Something about his touch was just so calming and soothing. You couldn’t explain why, but you weren’t complaining.

“We’ll I’ll gladly come to the rescue anytime. Give me your number, just in case you know” he says as he chuckles with a smile. You smile back and give him your number before looking at each other again. He just felt so familiar and you loved how at ease he made you feel.

“Hey! Hellooooo! Earth to Kayla!” You hear Mae yelling at you two with a smirk on her face. Shit, you were definitely getting it later.

“Sorry, what’s up?” You say blushing as you look at your friend. What you don’t notice is Seonghwa doing the same as Woo smirks at him.

“We’re all going to go for a movie or something. Are you guys in or do you need a room or something?” She smirks as she asks you.

“No no, we’ll come, sorry!” You say as you blush with a chuckle.

“Cool, let’s all go then!” Cassi says as everyone goes to stand after everyone exchanged numbers. As you do the same, you realize Seonghwa was still holding your hand.

You hadn’t even realized he still was, but you didn’t mind. Somehow Seonghwa made the fact that your friends found their soulmates and you hadn’t more tolerable. Him not having one either coupled with the calm and peaceful feeling he gave you when he was around you made everything feel like it would be okay. You couldn’t but smile as you looked at him while he led you out with the others. Maybe not having a soulmate wouldn’t be as bad as you thought.

Tag List: @yxngbxkkie @channiechxn @life-is-glorious @maeleelee @l3visbby @icedwaterjuice @puppybitz @quokkashaped @sunshinecoded @rabbitcharmed @jisuperboard @zoe8stay @shincode @sugrlamb @seungbinbin @bbujiikseu

If you want to be tagged in the future let me know! My chat and inbox are always open so feel free to come talk to me anytime!

[guillemelgat]

Language Goals 2024

Another year, another set of goals! This year, in the actual spirit of my very reasonable 2022 language goals, here are my plans for language study.

Catalan

First and foremost, my goal is to find Catalan friends in my new hometown, because I really need to speak Catalan with people at minimum once a week or I get very sad, and currently I’m not speaking it with anyone at all. This goal is pretty chill though—I just have to actually sit down and put in the time to find people.

My main goal is to read 30 books in Catalan. I’ll make a proper post about it with a list of books that I’m thinking of and how the challenge itself is going to work, but overall I’m trying to pick a mix of styles and genres, so expect anything from medieval literature to YA novels to academic texts. I have a lot of books that I’ve been meaning to read for a while, so hopefully this will give me a chance to chip into some of them. 30 books is less than other versions of this challenge that I’ve seen, but it’s also many more books than I’ve read in Catalan possibly ever and I think it’s more reasonable in conjunction with a full class load. Hopefully it ends up being just the right amount!

Welsh & Basque

This year I really want to work hard to actually get these two to an upper intermediate level, because I’m so close if I put in the work. For both of them, I have two main goals: (1) go through the textbooks/workbooks that I started going through casually last semester (Basic Welsh: A Grammar and Workbook by Gareth King and Standard Basque: A Progressive Grammar by Rudolf P.G. de Rijk) so that I can continue to review and learn new grammatical structures, and (2) watch one episode of a TV series each week in each language. For the TV series, I’m going to be watching Rownd a Rownd on S4C (which is available outside Wales/the UK! Huge win!) and Eskamak kentzen on EITB. If I have time, I’ll try to go through episodes more thoroughly and note down new vocabulary and such, but the main goal is to make a routine of it and watch consistently so I’m trying to keep it simple. I’d also like to use both languages with other people more often if I can, but I think finding a consistent language partner will perhaps be a goal for another year.

Malayalam

I’m planning to focus the first half of the year on Welsh and Basque, and then next fall, I’m hoping to be able to take the Malayalam classes offered by my university and to get into studying my home dialect (or rather, my extended family’s home dialect, since I didn’t speak it at home) as well. Since this will be later and also classroom learning rather than self-study, I’m not going to go into details, but overall, after my trip to Kerala (which I have stuff about, it’s on the docket!), I’m generally feeling much less alienated and much more motivated to study the language. I’m also looking forward to being able to take real classes, which I think will help keep me focused and on track.

Russian

This is a minor goal, but at my friend’s house over the summer, her mom was joking that if they just spoke to me in Russian while I stayed at their house, I’d probably be able to understand it by the end. That led us to concoct a plan where I study a bit of Russian vocab, then go there and do intensive Russian immersion for a weekend or so. This is more of a silly goal, but I’d like to try it because I think it could be fun.

Anki

This isn’t a language goal per se, but rather a general resolution to spend this year learning to use (and tweaking and configuring) Anki. Anki has a notoriously high barrier to entry, and from everything I’ve seen it should be treated as a long-term, intensive project—I’ll hopefully reap the rewards later if I take my time and set up everything right in the early stages. With that in mind, I’m hoping that by the end of the year I’ve figure out a set up for my decks and cards that really works for getting me to remember and be able to use vocab and grammar. I’ll focus on the languages here for the start, but I’m hoping that with habit and time, if I get a good system going I can use it with other languages too.

And that’s it! It’s been a bit since I was systematic about studying languages, but I’ve found that I really miss it and want to go back. I feel like I’m at a really good place with all of these, and I’d like to continue to make progress, so I’m really trying to focus on consistency and hitting the sweet spot of just challenging enough to get myself out of my comfort zone while not burning out. Hopefully I’ve set this up in a way to build habits and make me excited to keep immersing myself with these languages in the coming years, which is really the key to learning any language in the long term—I've realized that I speak Catalan so well because it's fully integrated into my life, and I'd like all these others to be as well. Here’s to a good 2024, and I wish all of you luck with your own goals as well!

[moonchildreads]

small town

Chapter 6 - Walking on Sunshine

IN THIS CHAPTER: A surprise birthday lunch, a shitty but perfect Polaroid, and Chrissy gives advice to a friend in need [2.7k]

WARNINGS: vague allusions to former shitty friends, eddie being insecure, author not knowing how GPAs work

masterlist - prev - next | playlist

I used to think maybe you loved me, now, baby, I’m sure And I just can’t wait ‘till the day when you knock on my door

Monday, April 21st - 1986

Dottie spent the entire morning feeling like she was gonna throw up. She’d seen Mike and Dustin at the school entrance and both boys had simply waved at her before going back to their hushed conversation. Gareth and her delivered their joint report during Political Science and he spent the rest of their time together talking about how his sister had gotten a part-time job at a coffee shop while she was in college in Arizona. Jeff had crossed paths with her in the hallway and barely said hi before he hurried into the boys’ bathroom, catching his shoulder on the door frame as he went in. Donny had returned the latest tape he’d borrowed without much fanfare and promptly disappeared for the rest of the day. It seemed that the only person at school who remembered her birthday was Ms. Kelly, and that wasn’t even as comforting as one might think; she had obviously read it from her file before the start of their weekly check-in.

When the bell rang signaling lunch was starting, she felt the urge to hide in a bathroom stall and cry until her next class but even that was making her stomach churn; she shared English Literature with Eddie and he was nowhere to be found. She didn’t know what would be worse: him showing up having forgotten her birthday or not seeing him at all. Swallowing her own anxieties, she grabbed her little lunchbox from the back of her locker and hid away the birthday note her dad had stuck to it in the front pocket of her jean overalls. They are just stupid boys, she thought, trying to school her disappointed expression. They probably think my birthday is on Saturday. It’s not like they don’t care anymore or hate me all of a sudden. Taking a deep breath once she saw her friends sitting at their usual table at the cafeteria, she put on a calculated smile and pretended everything was fine. She’d done this before. She could do it again. They’d never have to know.

“Hey-” she hadn’t even finished greeting them when suddenly they all jumped out of their seats with party horns between their lips.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” they screamed, making a lot of noise and attracting attention from nearby tables.

“This one’s for you,” Dustin said, putting a paper party hat on her head, being careful to not snap the elastic on her chin.

She stared at them for a few eternal seconds, Dustin handing out more party hats and Donny accidentally letting go of the elastic as it was passing his nose. Even Eddie was wearing one, his wild hair flattened by the colorful paper. They didn’t forget, she realized. They planned this because they care about me. They didn’t forget. It was like the coil that had been tightening all morning had suddenly snapped inside her, and even if she was hyper aware that she was currently being watched by a lot of people, she couldn’t stop the tears from spilling down her cheeks.

“You assholes!” she yelled at them, hiding her face, crying and laughing at the same time. “You made me think you forgot!”

There was a flutter around the table as the teens looked at each other in panic with the knowledge that they’d gone a bit too far with their nonchalant act before they surrounded her, soothing palms on her back and offering a million apologetic hugs.

“I knew it, I knew this was a terrible idea,” Dustin was saying. “I told them you were gonna get upset if we ignored you all day.”

“We’re so sorry, fuck, we didn’t mean it, please don’t cry,” Gareth was stuck to her side like velcro.

“I totally thought you had figured us out when I ran into the bathroom door, shit,” Jeff said.

“I thought you were about to pee yourself, dumbass,” she retorted, her tears finally drying up, a smile on her face.

“Okay, okay, chill out, guys, let her breathe,” Eddie said, carving a little path between the boys to get to her. He pulled her into a hug and she instantly hid her face on his chest.

“You fucking idiot, I was so sure you were skipping class today,” she slapped his back softly with open fingers.

“And miss my favorite girl’s birthday? I would never,” he muttered into her hair.

Dottie nuzzled his chest, a warm feeling spreading all the way to her feet and a grin growing on her face. Eddie chuckled as he threw his head back slightly, the tenderness of the moment fully on display for everyone to see embarrassing him to the bone, but he didn’t have enough willpower to let her go yet. Thankfully for him, the boys began singing Happy Birthday loud enough for her to get curious and unentangle herself from his arms. Mike was holding a rather large chocolate muffin with bright pink frosting and a lit candle on top, waiting for her to make a wish.

“Mrs. Nelson! Mrs. Nelson!” Dustin waved to a teacher who was watching the scene unfold with a pleased smile on her face. “Can you take a picture for us?”

He pulled out a Polaroid instant camera from his backpack under the table and positioned the woman to take what he thought was the perfect shot. The gentle Geography teacher waited for them to get situated; everyone huddled up around Mike and Dottie, who was thinking very hard about the most important wish she’d ever made. She nodded at Mike to let him know she was ready, and he brought the candle up to her face. I wish for all of us to always be friends no matter what happens, she thought with as much will as she had in her heart and blew out the flame, the boys cheering around her.

“Happy birthday, princess,” Eddie said, lips dangerously close to her ear.

As she turned to look at him, the pet name making her already very sensitive stomach do somersaults inside her, she heard the familiar click of a picture being snapped. Dustin thanked the teacher and retrieved the camera, flicking the sticky paper wildly for it to develop faster. Once they finally settled down at the table for lunch, a few kind people and teachers who had seen the celebration go down approached to wish her a happy birthday and, for the first time since she moved in, Dottie felt really, truly comfortable in Hawkins, Indiana.

“Son of a bitch,” Dustin said, finally looking at the Polaroid, Dottie making grabby hands in his direction immediately. “We aren’t even looking at the camera!”

“Lemme see,” she said, grabbing the picture and bringing it to her side of the table.

Dustin was right, literally none of them were looking at the camera but all of them had been caught in various states of happiness and celebration. Mike looked very panicked about dropping the muffin as he was being shaken from behind by Donny’s hand on his shoulder, the rest of the older boy’s body barely visible behind Jeff who had a party horn dangling from his mouth, and Dustin himself had been caught either singing or talking, his eyes closed and hands coming together in a clap. Gareth was standing to Dottie’s right, one arm around her waist, laughing while looking at Jeff’s general direction, and Eddie was on her left, hands in his pockets, looking straight at her with puppy eyes and what was perhaps the most unguarded smile she’d seen on him yet. Dottie’s body was pointed towards Mike, one hand grabbing his arm to help stabilize him, but her head was turned towards Eddie, her eyes landing on him with a smitten expression and a shy smile on her lips.

“It’s perfect,” she declared, committing the memory to the Forever drawer in the part of her brain that kept her most precious moments safe.

She was sure that she’d have time to analyze why she felt giddy every time her eyes landed on the way Eddie was looking at her in the picture, but not today. Today was her birthday, and she was the happiest she’d been in a very long time.

Wednesday, April 23rd - 1986

“I thought what you guys did for Dorothy’s birthday the other day was really sweet,” Chrissy said, putting away the small bag of weed she’d just bought from Eddie.

“You only turn 18 once, right?” he smiled, remembering their lengthy argument about how to cut the muffin in enough pieces for everyone at the table. She’d given the biggest piece to Mike. “She deserves it for putting up with us.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s the only reason why you went full out.”

Eddie looked at Chrissy intrigued by what she was saying. By now, he’d already realized that what he felt for Dottie was more than just a simple friendship or even a short-lived crush. He could be rather oblivious at times but he wasn’t that dumb, even he could tell something was different here when he actually started looking forward to going to school every morning. But truth be told, Eddie Munson simply wasn’t very experienced in matters of the heart. He’d gone out on a couple of dates with people he’d met at gigs and fooled around here and there but still, he was no Steve Harrington. In his most honest moments, he had to admit that Mike Wheeler probably had more moves than he did. At least he actually had a girlfriend, which is something Eddie had never really had. Hell, even Dustin had a girlfriend if all his talk about Certified Genius Suzie was real.

No, he had to admit, if not to anyone else but to himself, that him being inexperienced had been his own fault. There had been no shortage of out-of-town drunks throwing themselves at him after shows, but deep down, Eddie was insecure and that had been a running gag with former Hellfire Club members and Corroded Coffin bandmates that still weighed heavily on his mind. He’s just bad at picking up chicks, one of his old friends had said back when he was on his very first run at being a senior. He’ll learn. And yes, he had learned the theory but therein lay his second problem: he was too aware of his own reputation to put those things in practice seriously. It had been easy to make out in the back of his van with people who saw him as their shot at feeling like real groupies, and he certainly had indulged in those moments from time to time; he was, after all, a hormonal teenager.

But just as he was all too conscious that he had the necessary charm to be a playboy if he really wanted to and the knowledge that his infamy as “the freak of Hawkins High” attracted a very particular kind of crowd to him, he was also painfully cognizant that he had never really felt, well, love. Or at least not even the kind of infatuation that could have led to love if nurtured right. All his high school crushes had been on people that had been so far away from what he considered his own league, and it certainly didn’t help that the only time he had actually had the courage to ask someone out (two weeks before his Junior prom, he remembered the day like it had been yesterday), the girl in question had laughed at him for a solid minute. And told her friends. Who had also laughed at him.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Chrissy asked, interrupting his journey down sad and jilted memory lane.

“Would you date me?”

“What?” she laughed, but there was no malice. That was the thing about Chrissy Cunningham: she would always laugh with you, never at you. “You know I have a boyfriend.”

“Yeah, and he’s a douche but that’s beside the point,” he paced in front of her, his sneakers crunching leaves on the grass. “I’m asking if you as a girl, not as Chrissy, think that I could be… dateable,” he cringed as soon as the words left his mouth.

“Wow. You really got it bad for her.”

“Chrissy, come on,” he said, dragging the Os for effect. “I don’t know what I’m doing here, okay, cut me some slack.”

“Okay, alright,” she sighed. “Do you want the hard truth or do I… soften it for you first?”

“Just give it to me,” he draped himself dramatically on the picnic table where he usually did all his drug deals.

“I think you’re a great guy, Eddie. You’re funny, you know who you are and what you want,” he made a face but she continued anyway. “You are really genuine and you care a lot about your friends. It’s just that… well, I don’t really know Dorothy but-”

“You’d love her,” he muttered, hiding his eyes with his arm. He felt entirely too vulnerable in this conversation.

“You’re not exactly the kind of guy the good girls get to take home to their parents, you know? Even if we want to.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not saying she wouldn’t do it, like I said, I don’t really know her but it’s complicated for girls like us. There’s… expectations and rules.”

“God, could you imagine,” he chuckled darkly. “The 3.74 GPA girl with the guy who got held back two years in a row. Now that’s a fantasy story.”

“You know her GPA by heart?” she said, incredulous.

“It’s projected. She said it should be 3.92 if it was weighted, whatever that means.”

“Jesus Christ, Eddie.”

“I feel like I’m losing my mind,” he rolled over and let himself drop to the grass.

“Yeah, well, welcome to the club.”

Chrissy watched him throw a mini tantrum on the floor and felt truly bad for him. He had been so kind to her all this time, and he was actually so far removed from the terrifying image some people liked to pretend was the real him. It was in these moments that she was aware that they were both equally lost kids, just tryharding their way through high school, making mistakes they’d probably regret for the rest of their lives. She tilted her head to the side as he sat down again and began picking greenery out of his hair.

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think you are completely hopeless,” she rested her head on her hand. “You just gotta clean up a little bit.”

“I showered this morning,” he said, and smelled his shirt just in case.

“I meant, you gotta clean up your act! Get your grades straight, graduate, be more… I don’t know… this Eddie,” she made a circular gesture at his general direction with her hand. “Not the standing-on-tables-angry-at-the-world Eddie you put on to scare everyone away. The real you.”

“I’ll have you know that my table monologues are 100% the real me, thank you very much.”

“Eddie.”

“Alright,” he sighed. “I get it. I gotta be more like Jason.”

“Fuck no.”

“Chrissy Cunningham, saying a bad word,” he put his hand to his chest, always a drama queen.

“Look. Jason is my boyfriend, and I love him,” she stopped him before he could interject with a wave of her hand. “But I don’t think he’s what Dorothy is looking for. She already likes you enough to be your friend, you just gotta… help her out a little bit! Be a version of you she can bring home to her grandparents’ for Christmas.”

Eddie stared at his metallic lunchbox, running scenarios in the back of his mind. He was going to her house on Saturday for her birthday party, and he was going to meet her Dad there. It was incredibly important to make a good impression; he feared that he wouldn’t let her hang out with him anymore even if she insisted that he was “a cool Dad”. In his experience, there was a limit to how understanding parents could be when he was around. A light bulb turned on in his brain, a mischievous grin spreading on his face. Chrissy tilted her head at him, curiously.

“If you had to guess, what would be Dot’s clothing size?”

[shipcestuous-two]

My Cousin, My Lover: The Rosales Saga by F. Sionil Jose

(Hi! Former lurker/anon here. Behold my humble contribution to this blog. I’ve been sitting on this for a while now and I wish I could talk to more people about it. Too shy to do it IRL).

Francisco Sionil Jose (1924–2022) was a Filipino writer. Declared a National Artist for Literature in 2001, he’s best known for The Rosales Saga, which is composed of five historical novels centered on the town of Rosales. Other people have commented on the saga’s main themes: Philippine history, colonialism, class struggle, etc. I’m only here to talk about the cousincest.

In My Brother, My Executioner (published 1973), the main character Luis Asperri marries his paternal first cousin, Trining. Before we proceed, here’s some background. Luis is the illegitimate son of Don Vicente Asperri (rich landowner) and Nena (used to work for the Asperris as a domestic helper). Trining is the daughter of Don Vicente’s brother, who along with his wife died when their house was burned by angry peasants. A servant saved Trining, who was then raised by Don Vicente. Luis didn’t join them until he was 13. Prior to that, he grew up in a village with his mom, grandpa, and half-brother. But then Don Vicente, who had no legitimate sons, called for him. His mom was angry for obvious reasons but let Luis go.

Fast forward a few years to the main point of the story. Luis, now living in Manila and the editor-in-chief of a magazine, is summoned back to Rosales. Reluctantly, he goes back home with Trining, now a student at a convent school (not sure if high school or college). She’s very proud of her cousin and brags about him to her friends, who tease that she’s in love with him. But he doesn’t pay attention to them, much to her disappointment. Now that they’re going home, she’s looking forward to spending more time with him, but he just wants to hear what his dad has to say before going back to his job.

So they go home. Don Vicente’s now getting older and sicker, so of course he wants Luis to be his heir and continue the family line. At some point, he asks Luis about women and says, “I want you to have a look again at your cousin.” Don Vicente talks about how Trining is pretty and rich, and tells his son not to worry if his current feelings for her are only like a cousin’s or even a brother’s. He also tells him not to worry about the church - “We’ll get a dispensation from the bishop later.” Granted, since the book’s set in the ‘50s and these are rich propertied people, there’s the “keep the money in the family” angle, but I found it hilarious that the old guy shipped his son and niece. Anyway, dad and son have a disagreement about their lives as landlords vis-a-vis the poverty of the peasants, so Luis cuts his stay in Rosales short.

Prior to that, he did view Trining in a platonic light. He felt comfortable enough to change his clothes in front of her, for example. But over time, he starts appreciating her less platonically and they go all the way when they’re back in Manila. A bit of a love triangle develops between Luis, Trining, and Trining’s friend, but the cousincest wins out. Trining says that even making love feels natural with them, while Luis comments (maybe with some sarcasm?), “What a nice, compact little family we are." 

They get married in Rosales at Don Vicente’s behest. Trining wants to meet Luis’ mom and is sad that the rest of his family couldn’t go to the wedding. Again, context: during the story’s time frame, the Philippine government was trying to suppress the Hukbalahap insurgency. Remember Luis’ village? People there were accused of harboring "Huk” rebels, so the army attacked it. When he finds out after the wedding, he goes searching for his family, but he only finds burned-out remains where the village used to be. Trining insists on joining him in his search, but it proves fruitless. 

As you may expect, the story ends on a sad note. Trining gives birth to a baby boy, but it’s premature and implied to have birth defects. She herself is fine, but sad because the doctors also removed her uterus (“Oh, Luis, I wanted to give you a dozen children!”). Then Luis (who becomes the new landlord when Don Vicente dies) gets a note telling him and Trining to leave before the day is over. Alarmed, she wants them to sell everything and move to Manila, but he tells her not to worry. Bad move. That night, the “Huks” attack the estate and Trining is shot. Before she dies, she tells Luis to give their son a happy childhood. This…doesn’t happen. It’s implied that Luis is killed, too. We don’t know what happens to the baby.

The relationship had cute parts and potential. Imagine: prim and proper Catholic girl x the brooding intellectual guy who fought with a priest and wants to fight for the poor. We could’ve seen how they first met, the little moments when they were growing on each other without them realizing it. The way it was, Trining seemed way more into Luis than the other way around. But the novel’s main point was always the class struggle, not the romance. Oh well. Maybe some fanfiction writer could fix that…?

The other novel featuring cousincest is The Pretenders (published 1962). I haven’t read this, but according to TV Tropes, the main character Antonio Samson (who, like Luis, starts out poor in a village and gets a job involving writing) has a son with his cousin Emy. However, these two don’t end up together.

There is another F. Sionil Jose-written story (not one of the Rosales books) that features incest, but I think it belongs on the other blog.

If you made it to the end of this long post, thank you :)

--

This is a wonderful contribution to the blog! Thank you so much or writing up all of these details about Trinning and Luis. It’s a pity the relationship isn’t explored more, but the development sounds wonderful. I particularly love that Luis’ father wants him to marry Trinning and that Luis isn’t enthusiastic at first but comes around later. 

The ending makes me sad. But particularly that the child has birth defects irks. As we all know, unless the family was already inbred the risk of such things is not much higher than a non-cousin union. Anyway... 

Thank you to all the family sagas with incest, and thank you to all of my followers who have read them!

[all-chickens-are-trans]

for the writer thing: 💛 🥳 and 🎬

Oh heyyy!! So nice to hear from you, how's it going! 🥰✨

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

that any and all writing tips are more a 'take what you need' kinda thing instead of proper rules. "write what you know" will only get you so far, and also has a million ways to be interpreted. "show, don't tell" - yes, it can be more interesting to show a character being nervous than just saying that he's nervous. But sometimes, you just wanna get to the point and you don't want to spend too much time on the nerves of this guy. "don't be excessive with adjectives" - why not, if they bring me joy and they make more precise what i'm trying to say and that's exactly why they exist? "make your sentences short and clean." Okay I could do that, but I don't have to if I don't want to. Some of the biggest classics of literature have long, winding sentences, sometimes so complicated that you have to read them multiple times to get them, and yes, sometimes that can be exhausting and annoying, but sometimes, it can be beautiful, too. I guess it's different when you're a commercial writer or trying to be one, but in fanfic, why not do whatever you like?

I used to fret over my long, complicated sentences so much, but at some point I learned to embrace them and decided it's more about rhythm, and about what I'm trying to achieve with a sentence. Some things are harsh and short. Some things are longer, maybe a bit complicated, maybe someone is avoiding a topic - why not show that in a sentence structure? anyway, long story short, I guess the best lesson for me was "pick what you like and leave the rest".

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic?

Oh because, once upon a time, I was a pre-teen with an active imagination and dissatisfied with the slow passage of time - meaning I didn't want to wait until the next episode of my favorite telenovela came out, so I started writing the plots myself, on little notes that I passed to my best friend in physics class. 😅 Also, because I once watched Phantom of the Opera, didn't like the ending and decided I could do better, so I wrote my own version. All of that was before I knew about fanfic, or that other people were doing it.

I started properly writing fanfic and sharing it online when I found out people were doing it to make characters gay who weren't gay, and make them kiss and stuff. That was almost 20 years ago now and I haven't looked back since 😅🥰

I already did the 🎬 one here but since both things I mention there are obscure German things you won't know about, how about an obscure German thing you do know about 😅

I would LOVE to see my Druck fic in living colour, especially Feels Like We've Been Living In Fast Forward because I miss my kids and I always thought that the canon had some missed opportunities with those two. It's been too long to remember the details but whenever you show up on my dash (or in my inbox like now :D) it reminds me that there's two teenage disasters that I love very much <3

[boba-beom]

fr you can take them everywhere without having to buy/carry some heavy ass amp 🫠 aww that is so cute though that the guitar has been with you for that long🥺 i have a classical guitar that's been with me since i was 13 and an electric one that's been with me ever since i was 15 i think?

anyways, i've always thought about attaching one of those devices to my classical guitar so i could turn it into electric-acoustic as well, but i feel like when it comes to electric acoustic guitars, it's always better to buy one and not diy one.

i love how this is something we have in common though🥺

the middle school i went to required us to learn different pieces on the flute and get graded on them. we had a book all about it and that's how i learned hehe. it is indeed a beautiful instrument though and i find it fascinating how you can produce different sounds through it just with your breath. and it's honestly pretty easy to learn and with your musical background, i'm sure you'd pick it up really quick :") ahh, the harp is such a magical instrument. it's so calming and relaxing <3 wooow i'm always highly impressed by people who can play the violin, because it's not easy instrument at all. and self taught piano? respect. are you secretly a music genius too? 👀👀

my best friend actually taught me some piano and i also learned some things on my own, but i haven't played the piano that much ever since he moved across the world :/ nowadays, i mostly use the piano when i'm trying to guess the chords/notes in a song.

it's always nice to hear the perspective of other people on creative work tbh, cause everyone perceives things differently. i think that's my favorite thing about literature - how subjective it is🥺

ah, i see. i didn't know that. and thank you smiles🥺 have you had any time to look at txt's tour? ash blue taehyun has me WEAK to my knees fr wow it looks so good on him!! i think you really manifested that into reality. also the choreography to tinnitus is so good, i just love groovy it is. also the way soobin and taehyun did their parts, whoosh, i'm dizzy. anyway, beomgyu really ate it up, i think tinnitus suits him so much.🥺 and also the choreography for farewell neverland is so beautiful like wow, i have no words?? they all looked so stunning and the vocals were so good.

p.s: black is one of favorite haircolors on soob but i kinda miss blond hair soob, it looked so good on him. also whoever has been styling kai's hair so far needs a raise, because he looks way too good.

I did used to have a classical guitar before my dad gifted me the electro-acoustic one. but yes, I guess you could diy it, it's just a hassle and a little tedious but some electro-acoustics are pricey too, especially now with inflation 😭 but omg you have an electric one!! and how is it? I also love how we have that in common, I feel like I love talkingt o people about guitars and I can go on for a while hehe

I wouldn't say music genius 🤭 I've just always been interested in performing and doing covers. It's funny actually, because I could never do a speech in front of my class but I could perform a set of songs in front of majority of my high school peers, I just find it fun that way

I never actually got graded for piano and I've wanted to take lessons but with the pace of how my life was and is going I feel like I wouldn't have the time atm :< maybe in the future I'll pick it up again. I do have a keyboard in my room and the last song I learnt was billie eilish' my future. omg trying to find chords and notes by ear can be hard, unless you have perfect pitch? 👀 but that's nice that you learn from someone else, it's fun like that.

you're so right, like music, art, writing — they're all subjective and it's up to how people interpret it, I love it :>

omg YES I can't believe you remembered me manifesting periwinkle blue tyun hehe, it really does suit him and I hope his hair colour stays like that throughout the whole tour. I still have hope that I'll see them late this year IF they release europe/uk tour dates. the choreo for tinnitus is SO CATCHY like the vibes and the whole lot is just a masterpiece 🤭 farewell, neverland really is beautiful. something about that gives me contemporary dance and I love that for them, especially hueningkai's solo that he does? they're so graceful I love it. oh and blue spring? I told myself I need to go to their concert so I can hear them sing it and sing it with them. I got emotional the first time I heard it. all the emotion is there and again, another tubatu x moa song <3 they really love us :')

I was really hoping soobin would be a different colour but black, solely because he went from black hair, to blonde and to black hair again :(( I was hoping he'd be a light brown at least but black does suit him a lot. as for kai, his hair styled so far has been beautiful. oh and yeonjun and beomgyu with their long hair? long hair tubatu has a special place in my heart, honestly 💕

how have you been, lovely?

[smellslikehome]

Redgie’s perspective:

It was the beginning of the semester and I had finally woken up from one of my fits. While my teeth were still sore and my body felt heavy, at least I was able to get up. I had a few classes with Professor Brandon. He was my favorite English Literature Teacher. This semester, he was teaching a post-graduate writing course. It was going to be his first time teaching the course and asked me to take it to see how it is. I love writing, or at least I’d really like to. So I signed up. Besides, learning more about how he teaches would really help for when I shadow underneath him next semester. So I went to class on the first day and he took roll. A lot of the people I had seen before, most of us in the English Graduate College. All of us trying to be professors or teachers or full blown authors. However, there was one person that was completely out of the ordinary. He was scrawny and tiny, I would’ve mistaken him for a high schooler. “Nathaniel Hicks?” Asked Professor Brandon.

“Present,” he said flatly. 

“I’m sorry I don’t believe I’ve had you in a class before. Are you a new transfer?” Asked the Professor.

“Nope, it’s my junior year.”

“Are you aware this is a graduate class?”

“Yup”

“Are you an English Major?”

“Nope.”

“May I ask why you’re taking this class then? It’s just not a lot of underclassman sign up for post graduate classes.”

“Meh, it seemed easy.”

Something about him made me chuckle. He was just short and mean. Something about him also rubbed me the wrong way though. I’d never heard of someone taking a post graduate class just for fun. I could tell he didn’t really respect the class. He’d fall asleep in class whenever he felt like it. But when he was awake, he’d write in his notebook like a madman, looking around the class at everyone. One time, my eyes accidently met his and I felt a cold shiver run down my spine, like he looked right into my head. It was scary. I often glanced back at him, especially when the professor would call on him for being asleep. Yet somehow he’d still get the answer right.

One day, early in the semester, right at the end of class, he got a call. He stormed out the room as though he was on a mission. The professor rolled his eyes and told me, “I do not like that kid.” 

“He seems mean,” I added, jokingly. I looked back towards his desk and noticed something still on top of it.I went toward it and saw a leather bound journal. I took it home with me, making sure too feed my cat, Ketchup before I went into my room. Curious, I opened it up to see what he writes about during class. At first it was normal, notes on class, things he had to do. But then, things got weird. There were entries for everyone in our class. They went into detail about mannerisms and what he thought about everyone. I looked around and I found the entry he wrote on me. 

Redgel::: aka Redgie

Approximately 6’8” 360 lbs. 

Shaggy and unkept. Obviously he’s very familiar with the professor. Even amongst the other graduate students he’s close with Brandon. Yet he’s still respectful and calls him Professor. He’s always careful, yet still sometimes clumsy. Like he doesn’t always remember how big his body is. No sense of hand eye coordination. There are inconsistencies about him. He’s clumsy, yet in most ways, he’s almost too careful. There’s also this peculiar mark on his cheek. Is it a birthmark? Is it something else? There’s something about him…. Or maybe I just find him cute. ….He IS cute admittingly but there are other matters at hand. 

He thinks I’m cute! I felt myself blushing a bit when I read that last part, happy that the mean guy thinks I’m cute. Then my heart stopped. He knows about me. Well he doesn’t know about me but he knows I’m not normal. Not…completely normal. I have to give his notebook back to him tomorrow.