#i couldn't even be mad. it was too funny and entirely my fault

[transgenderfivepebbles]

hokma realization....

augh. ough my emotions. he really said "it's not shameful to be pitied because pity and sympathy are in themselves forms of love". he wanted angela to know she was loved and cared for despite her conviction that she resented, even hated, the others. "you still are awfully dishonest" i need this man DEAD (affectionate). he's not benjamin anymore but he'll still be the one to stay at her side even when no one else would. fervently gestures at them. you get it. you Get It

in conclusion. clawing and mauling PROJECT MOON WHYYYYYYY

[magicbystarlight]

Venomous - Part Nine

Masterlist, Part One

Summary: A wife. A mother. A witch with someone else's name. That’s the life you didn’t want. So Tom offered you more.

Word Count: 3,386

Warnings: 18+, arranged marriage, age gap relationship, assault, a bit of ptsd, terrible parenting, war, sickness. Minors DNI.

“I thought he knew—I’ve written him about it! Three times! I don’t understand why—you’re his best friend!”

The air in the room was thick, each breath laborious as you paced. Rick had been taken somewhere. Your mother and Abraxas’ parents had followed Theseus. You would have too, but Velena had shooed you into this room with Abraxas.

“Take care of your fiancé, dear.”

He’d been taken care of. Some witch had fixed his nose and cleaned the blood before you’d even made it to his side. Gods, the amount of people fawning over him should have given you some time to figure out what the fuck happened.

“In front of so many people! In front of his boss! At the Minister’s home! What was he thinking?” His entire career thrown away. For what?

“He wasn’t thinking,” Abraxas said. He was calm. So very calm. “He’s been away so long he only remembers you as the child you were when he left.”

“He didn’t give me a chance to explain—if he’d read a single letter, he’d have known!” Hadn’t Dumbledore seen him since? Would he not have told him? He’d been busy fighting the tyranny of a mad man, yes, but—

“You’re going to wear a path into the floor, Little Bird.” Abraxas stood in your way, taking your hands. “He’s been at war. If he felt even a sliver of what I did when I thought of you marrying someone, I can’t blame him for it.” His lips pressed against your knuckles. It brought little comfort.

Still, you let your head fall against his chest. "He threw away his entire career, Brax."

"I'm not pressing charges."

“It doesn’t matter.” Not to anyone else but you. “It’s going to be in the papers tomorrow.”

“It won’t.”

“Someone took a picture!”

“Keeping one measly picture out of the tabloids is nothing.” His chest rumbled with a laugh as he rubbed circles on your back. “Not when you’re a Malfoy.”

A knock on the door had you twisting out of his hold. Annoyance blistered at the sight of Azar. You hadn't even known he was at this godsforsaken party. "They're asking for you." His hand raised when you moved towards him, shaking his head. "For Abraxas."

He left with a promise that everything would be fine. And with Azar’s assurance he’d stay with you.

“What did Rick say?” you asked when the door shut.

“I don’t know. They wouldn’t let me in either.”

It was quiet for a while. Your pacing resumed without Abraxas to interfere. Five minutes passed. Then ten. How long did it really take to say he wouldn't press charges? Azar stood by the door like a guard. The walls shrunk as the minutes continued to pass, the air too thick. This was stupid. Waiting. You had a right to be in that room, figuring this out. It was your brother and your future husband.

You took a step towards the door and Azar moved in front of it swiftly.

"Oh come on, Az!"

He shrugged. "This is your own fault."

“Funny. I don’t remember decking my fiancé.”

“Tom offered you a way out of this,” he said cooly. 

“Cut the shit.” You shook your head, nostrils flaring. “If Tom had stayed the fuck away from me and if you hadn't been his little lap dog, there wouldn't even be a fiancé." The pent up anger seeped through the cracks. He was your uncle. Your blood. How could he not have protected you? How could he not understand? "You know what happens when we turn our backs on family. It doesn’t matter how great you think he is, he’s not one of us. I’m not risking my future for some teenage prick with a hardon. Especially not after he fucking tried to kill me.”

Azar flinched. A crack finally in the mask. “He what?”

Rubbing your neck, you forced yourself to breathe. “It doesn’t matter, Az.” 

“It does.”

You couldn't look at him. Not after his part in everything. “He cornered me. Tried to tell me that I was his. When I told him I wasn't going to be some Half-Blood's whore,” another breath had to be forced out through the tightening in your throat, “he choked me until I thought I was going to die.”

“He wasn’t trying to kill you.”

A half-hysteric laugh slipped out. Of course he was taking Tom’s side. You knew, you knew he wouldn’t believe you.

“I'm not saying he didn't hurt you, it's just,” you stepped back as he stepped forward, "he wasn't thinking. His family's a sore spot."

Your head shook. "You weren't there. You didn't—you didn't see the look in his eyes. He didn't hesitate." Swallowing down a sob, you tried to steady yourself. He wouldn't see you cry. You wouldn't let him. "You can make all the excuses for him you want, but I won't."

"Let me talk to him. It had to have been a misunderstanding."

A tear escaped before you could stop it. A misunderstanding.

"Do whatever you want, Azar." The Stunner hit him square in the chest before he'd blinked. "Just stay out of my way."

—

"So I'm an adult when it comes to getting married, but a child still when it comes to figuring out why my brother assaulted my fiancé?"

"Lower your voice," your mother hissed, eyes flitting to the end of the hall where Minister Fawley was in a heated discussion with Theseus. They'd seemed eager to pass off your mother when you'd arrived. It was doubtful that they cared much what you were saying. "This is sensitive. The fewer people involved the better."

You scoffed. "The entire party saw it! Don't you think I should have something to say when people ask?"

“It was a misunderstanding, that's all."

A misunderstanding. Everything gone wrong in your life brushed off as misunderstandings. Selene was as useless as her brother. It was pointless to continue with her. And you couldn't dispatch her in the same way you'd done Azar. You could only wait for the moment the door would open and you could ask Warrick himself what in the bloody hell he had been thinking. 

Only that moment did not come. For Abraxas and his parents had opened it alone, surprised to find you waiting. Warrick, they had said, had already left. Too embarrassed to face anyone else. 

Liars.

The voice echoed again in your mind. Not yours, but someone else's who didn't know Abraxas. Because Abraxas had proven time and time again that he could be trusted. So when he told you that it had all been a misunderstanding, you'd silenced the voice and smiled.

—

The shortened Christmas edition of the Daily Prophet arrived a few hours into the early morning. It was a terrible discovery to find you plastered across the front. The picture had been taken only a few minutes after you'd arrived at the party, greeting the Minister with your engagement ring on full display. A grin plastered across your face, hair pristine, teal gown complimenting your skin. A picture perfect Pureblood.

Future Mrs. Malfoy Stuns at Minister's Christmas

It made your stomach turn.

They hadn't mentioned your actual name once in the article.

—

Your father made his first appearance that afternoon, staying only long enough to be considered polite before leaving again. Warrick did not come to see you.

—

Letters came. The story hadn't made it to the paper, but gossip spread as it always did. Your hand ached from writing the words "it was a misunderstanding" over and over. Warrick still had not come.

—

The manor had never felt so small. Abraxas had never been so...overwhelming.

—

We've decided to visit my sister in Sweden and won't return in time for New Year's.

~Elin Avery

You wondered what your mother had said to convince your grandparents to forgo the annual lunch that had been a tradition from before you were born.

—

Warrick never came. Abraxas insisted he would reach out when he was ready, but for now he didn't need to be guilted with letters.

—

"Are you sure I can't come with you?" Abraxas asked for the seventh time that morning. "I'd love to meet these mysterious friends of yours."

You finished pinning the last braid into place, turning to admire your efforts in the mirror. "They're not mysterious. We were in a fight and weren't talking. Now we're not and we are."

His presence at your side had been a constant following the Christmas party. You'd only left the Manor once, making a brief appearance at the Greengrass' New Year's party. Fashionably late and gone before the clock struck midnight. On his arm the entire time. 

The promise of shared time in his library had finally been fulfilled, but the disappointment of finding nothing soured it. He'd even sat with you through all your mothers' wedding talks. A date had even been settled. The sixth of July 1946. A little more than a week after you complete school.

“That’s the mystery,” he said. His immense figure took up the space in the mirror behind you. "What you were fighting over."

You smoothed out your skirt. It had been a gift from him. "It was nothing, just some silly little fight."

His hand fell to the nape of your neck, caressing the skin. 

"But like I said," voice higher at the familiar scene in the mirror, "we've made up. And I've been waiting to tell them all the horrid details of the old man who's laid claim to me as his bride.” 

Abraxas laughed, the tension falling out of your shoulders as his touch retreated. "Do your best not to turn them against me before we've even met, will you?"

—

It took less than fifteen minutes together, crammed in a corner of The Leaky Cauldron at a table meant for only two, to shed the awkwardness of the past few months. Abigail’s dry humor mixed well with Larissa’s animated storytelling. They’d been together since the day before New Year’s, Larissa coming down from Cambridge to spend the last few days of break in London.

"It is sad though," Larissa said, as she ended a story of their exploits in an unauthorized Muggle club the night before. "Walking around and seeing all the rubble and stuff."

You blinked at her, confused. "What rubble?" Were Muggles that bad at building things they just collapsed?

"From the bombings," she said matter-of-factly before finishing off the last of her mashed potatoes.

"Still? It's been, what, three—four years?"

Abigail shook her head, covering her mouth as she tried to quickly swallow her own food. "Since it started, yeah, but they're still going on. Manchester got hit Christmas Eve. Think it's nearing forty dead."

Nausea rolled over you. There hadn't been news of bombings in the Daily Prophet. You knew they weren't publishing much about the war with Grindelwald, but not talking about attacks on the soil of your own country? You still remembered the pictures they'd splayed throughout the entire paper the day after the first attack a week into Second Year. It had disrupted classes for more than a week, fights breaking out between classes over grotesque comments made to people with Muggles in their family. Abigail had been in a panic for a day not knowing if her family had been hit and only calming when she'd learned they'd gone to the country.

The news of new bombings had come less and less until after a few months stopped entirely. People stopped mentioning war in the corridors. Abigail's family had returned to London. You thought it was over.

Good friends that they are, they saw the gears turning in your head. "It's Muggle stuff," Larissa said too kindly. "We don't expect you to know much about it. Especially with, you know, your brother and everything."

Like the terrible friend you seemed to be, you only nodded and let the conversation turn to other less horrid things. Because one of your supposed best friends lived in the Muggle world. Abigail had a little sister that was only—Merlin, how old? She should be coming to Hogwarts soon, right? Was it her father or mother that was the Muggle? Could—could they still use magic if there was an emergency? Did she also have people she cared about fighting in a war?

The thoughts distracted you through Diagon Alley. You didn't feel like a normal eighteen year old witch. You felt spoiled and sheltered and selfish. 

You hadn't even gotten them Christmas gifts. 

"You know," you began, looking out the window of the sweets shop to Twilfitt and Tattings, “I’ve been meaning to have my measurements retaken. Mind if we go there next?” It took very little convincing to get them to have their own measurements taken. It was easier still to keep them distracted looking at fabrics while you ordered a few new robes, dresses, and sweaters for you all. Larissa wouldn't mind, but Abigail would object if she knew. 

"And will these be to the Selwyn or Malfoy account?"

"Selwyn," you answered quickly, pulling your hands off the counter. 

She scribbled something down on the order forms. "You are all set with these, Miss Selwyn. And if you would like, I could set an appointment during your Easter holiday to have Mrs. Wright come see you about wedding dresses."

The taut smile on your face ached as you declined, excusing yourself quickly and pulling your friends out of the shop. "If I hear another thing about a wedding, I may Obliviate myself."

"Like that would save you from your mother," Abigail chuckled, linking her arm with yours as you walked along the cobbled street. 

"At least I've been good today," Larissa said, mimicking Abigail on your otherside. "Not a single word about it even though I've been dying to ask!"

"And for that, I'm grateful."

Abigail, a little softer, asked, "Has your break been good though?"

"Warrick decked Abraxas in the middle of the Minister's Christmas party."

An echo of, "What?" sounded from them, pulling you to a stop just before the entrance of Knockturn Alley.

The story came out rushed beginning in the middle and skipping back and forth to parts, but it felt so good to just say it outloud again. It had been trapped inside for days. Their response made you feel less alone. They too questioned why. Why would he do that? Why wouldn't he talk to you after? Why wouldn't he write? Why didn't he know? Why? 

"I mean, you are his little sister. I get being upset about it, you know, the circumstances, but that's an extreme reaction."

"And shouldn't he be happy it's Abraxas? They were close, right?"

"Incredibly close. They were together all the time."

"Did they have a falling out or something?"

"I don't think so. I haven't heard about one."

"It's weird." Larrissa bit her lip, seeming to debate on something. "Do you think maybe," she paused again. Larissa very rarely thought through the things she said, more akin to speaking her mind than worrying about how it came out. "Do you think you're not getting the whole story from Abraxas?"

"I have no reason not to trust him."

"That's not the same thing as actually trusting him."

You didn’t know what to say to that and avoided looking into their eyes by watching the dark alley over their shoulders. A mistake. Or maybe a sign you had to be more observant of your surroundings. Because leaning against one side of the alley, just down the stairs, was Robert Goyle. One of Tom's lackies.

His hand around your throat. His lips against your ear. Malfoy isn't what you want.

You reached into your pocket, curling your fingers around your wand. It wasn't a coincidence he was here. It never was. “I trust Abraxas. He would never do something to hurt me."

"Maybe not on purpose," Abigail tried to start, but you were shaking your head.

"Rick's been at war. I can’t begin to imagine the things he’s seen there, the lies he’s uncovered, the people he might’ve trusted that turned out to be Grindelwald conspirators. Of course he'd be suspicious, a little violent even. And of course he doesn't have time for me right now." You crossed your arms, sticking your chin up."Brax is only trying to look out for me, keep me from realizing how in my own head I've been and let Rick have the space he needs. By time I'm Mrs. Ma—Malfoy, everything will be alright."

"I hope so."

"It will be. And I've realized that I do, in fact, need to set that appointment if I want my dress to be ready for the wedding. Did I tell you we set a date?" Your eyes shot back to Robert who still stood there watching. "Sixth of July next year." 

Child bride.

The nausea from earlier returned. The image of Robert unfocused. Heat prickled at your skin. The air was too thick to breathe. A whistle in your ear. 

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know. She was fine and then she just started swaying."

Your eyes tried to open, but it felt as if they were weighed down. When had they even closed? Something touched your face. You tried again. They opened this time, only to slam shut against the blinding light.

"Hey, come on, wake up, please."

You tried to say you were awake, but your mouth felt like cotton and the words sounded wrong to your own ears. Slowly, you opened your eyes again prepared for the assault of light. Ralph McLaggen was kneeling in front of you. Where had he come from? His face contorted in—some expression. You couldn't pinpoint which. Larissa was next to you, Abigail on your other side, both with their arms around you to keep you sitting up. 

You were sitting. Hadn't you been standing?

"Thank god," Abigail breathed, letting her other hand drop from your face. "What happened?"

You went to stand despite the protests of everyone, but couldn't lift your own arse off the ground without the world spinning. "I don't know."

"You fainted," McLaggen said.

"Yeah, no shit." There was a pounding in your head now. "I don't know why I fainted. I was fine.”

He smiled. He smiled? Merlin, were you seeing things now too? “Lots of things can cause it. Dieting, sickness. Stress. See that all the time before a game." His hand reached forward, the back pressing against your forehead. "Doesn't seem like you've got a fever, at least."

You flinched away from his touch.

"Stay here, I'll be back. You need to drink something before you go walking around again."

Abigail spoke before you could reject his offer. "Thank you Ralph, that's very sweet of you."

You watched him disappear around the corner, trying to ignore the curious stares from the wizards walking past. With a groan, your head fell into your hands. This was not how today was supposed to go. 

Abigail rubbed your back soothingly and you leaned against her. “So much for a normal day, huh?" "This might be the most normal thing she's ever done," Larissa disagreed with a laugh. She poked you in the arm, grinning wider when you turned your head to stick your tongue out at her.

Merlin you’d missed them. 

A familiar voice called out your name. Abraxas? He appeared from the crowd going through the street, nearly knocking Larissa over as he rushed to take the spot in front of you. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” you assured him, leaning away from Abigail to let him press a kiss against your forehead. “What—um, what are you doing here?”

“Thought it would be nice to introduce myself to your friends, hopefully dispel any horrid rumors you’ve started on my behalf before they stick.”

You should have bantered back. All you could muster was an awkward laugh. Your friends were better, introducing themselves and saying they’d heard all good things. Abraxas was pleased with the praise, at least. But his pleasant expression faded. “Ralph McLaggen,” he greeted coldly, squaring his shoulders.

McLaggen had returned, four bottled Butterbeers in hand. His tone was equally contemptuous when he responded, “Abraxas Malfoy.”

The nausea finally bubbled over and the contents of your stomach ended up splattered across your fiancé’s shoes.

Next

HP Tag List: @bamboozledflamplant @squishytomatoes @benonlinear @byelannie @itsccc @bluegiraffeplushie

Venomous Tag List: @pearlsofme @fck-this @ambria @sheeple @strangunddurm @weirdowithnobeardo @emberenchanted @iluvweasleys

[caracarnn]

He wants to react to the calming weight of Mat's hand on his shoulder, wants to look into his friends eyes and tell him that everything was going to be alright. He knew that the mask that Mat held up in front of his face was something that he was hiding behind. It had to do with remaining strong, it had to do even with living in denial regarding everything that had happened. Could he not accept what had happened? Mat didn't seem to be someone that enjoyed truths very much and this one was one truth that not many people wanted to accept.

His father, even, was skirting the line of accepting everything that had happened. He worked his lands and acted as though his family was still in tact. Like one day he'd wake up and he'd have grandchildren to read stories to and a daughter-in-law that would make this home feel like an actual home again. That was a glaring lie that Rand found hard to swallow. Had he disappointed his father? Had he torn down his dreams to where the only thing that existed was what was left of his son?

But how could any of that be his own fault? Rand hadn't chosen to Channel. He hadn't sought out Saidin. He had sat out in the fields behind his father's farmhouse and he had called out to The Creator to take it from him. If anything just to strip him of it. Of course he had intended to be cured of it with just one single prayer but not in the way that it had happened. He hadn't just been stripped of Saidin but he had been stripped of his mind, his sanity. They said that they wanted to cure his Madness, that they had to make him safe for the world around him. But Rand found that he wasn't safe for himself.

"I've been funny." He wanted to smile but it felt limp and lazy on his face. It felt like there wasn't a single expression on his face at all. He didn't feel the emotion he was trying to emote, instead he felt like he was attempting to force himself past a barrier of emotionlessness. A Void much like the one that his father had taught him to linger in and yet this one wrapped around his soul as much as it did everywhere else. Darkness existed in him, a numbness that he couldn't expel.

Slowly he turned his face and looked down at Mat's hand there on his shoulder, trying to figure out how to react to the press of contact that it felt like he had been without for far too long. He swallowed thickly, blinking his eyes clear of the emotions that were thriving inside of him. Emotions that were buried and yet he couldn't reach. Those deeply buried emotions that belonged entirely to another man. A man before Aes Sedai had taken him away from himself. A man that had existed with needs and wants and everything else. They had left tragedy behind them and they had left with his soul.

He left Mat's hand there and turned his gaze out the window. He saw his dad's retreating figure, the stalks giving way for a small pathway so that he could walk. He was well built and, for just right then, Rand really did hope that he lived forever. What would he be without him? Especially if it happened that Mat, one day, did decide to find a life outside of The Two Rivers? A well deserved life. It was selfish to want to tether his father here with him and yet being alone sounded as scary as waking up every single morning did.

"My dad..." he trailed off, still staring outside but, this time, he was watching the rays of yellow sun breathing down on the ground, green grass sprouting gently. There was a soft wind, birds fluttered about everywhere and the sheep bleated in the background. "...he's hired a nurse for me. Recommended by the Wisdom herself." he wet his lips and then forced his gaze back to Mat. Sometimes staring outside at the ever changing world was harder than staring at nothing. "She's meant to cook my meals and such while my dad goes to town for Winternight to sell his brandy." He almost longs for the world before but he can't bring himself to have enough urgency for that. "But, between you and me, I think that he secretly hopes children will come."

Now that should give Mat a laugh. Tam kept going on and on about how pretty this Lynne was and what good stock she came from. He mentioned her talents and about how much she was recommended by Nynaeve. Even if Rand was without his wits most of the time it wasn't so off kilter to say that he wasn't observant of the world around him. He just couldn't bring himself to care very much. And yet he cared if Mat laughed just then, didn't he?

"So, maybe it's about time that you did...find a place for yourself? Maybe my dad's the one who's tired of seeing you around here." His brows rose and he waited on reaction. Mat deserved a world outside. He deserved a life outside of playing bloody nursemaid. It just didn't seem to be fair to consign him to the same invalid life that had been subjected onto Rand. Mat wasn't the one who had been Gentled.

@luckhissoul - cont'd from here

[grimtrespasser]

Ooooo can I know more about your Karai? (And your Draxum he's so pretty-)

Heck yeah you can!! These two are some of my favorites I have so much fun writing stuff for them <33

This got long so I'm putting it under the cut

So Karai is really interesting to me. I'm going with a slightly more 2012 inspired background for her, because like with many things in that show, I liked the idea but I felt like they could've gone further with it. This is a story about generational trauma now and there's nothing anyone can do about it!! >:D

In line with 2012, Karai is Hamato Yoshi and Tang Shen's daughter. She was also largely raised by Oroku Saki/Shredder. Unlike 2012, Karai lost her mother and was separated from her father when she was about 4 going on 5 years old, so she remembers them, if vaguely. To make a long story short, her father and (adopted) uncle disagreed a lot about the nature of the Hamato Clan's duty to guard the Dark Armor, so eventually Saki broke open the vault and took the armor for himself. It consumed him, now he's the Shredder, etc etc. He destroyed their home village, killing Tang Shen before she could tell Yoshi where their daughter was hidden, so when the fight was over and he couldn't find her, he assumed the worst.

Believing there was nothing left for him in Japan, Splinter went off to the states to pursue a lead on how to reseal the armor, which is where the story diverges. Unbeknownst to him, Karai had been hiding by the lake the entire time, waiting for her parents to come get her. Instead, the Shredder found her and spun a lie about her father going mad and killing her mother. Since this was the face of her uncle, she trusted him when he said he was there to save her. So she was raised and trained among the Foot Clan for the next 17~ years.

She's got a lot of bitterness towards the adults in her life. At first toward her father for destroying their home and family, then towards her uncle as she began to realize he wasn't actually himself anymore and that he'd been using her to eliminate her father. Once she does meet Splinter again and finds out about the turtles, she becomes even more angry with him.

He wasn't a terribly good father when she was little, time and time again choosing duty over his family. He loved his wife and daughter, but he'd always taken his work too seriously. He assumed one day Karai would understand when she took on those duties for herself, the way he had with his father there's that generational trauma. That of course never happens.

So Karai, in seeing that the neglectful man she remembers had become a genuinely attentive father, not to her, but to four new sons she knew nothing about... Well, needless to say, she was pretty pissed, and horribly jealous of the turtles on top of that. She does eventually let her brothers off the hook, since it's not their fault their father didn't do things right with her, but her relationship with Splinter is tenuous at best for a good long while, even after she fully realizes she's being used by the Foot and leaves them.

Funny enough, the stuff about Draxum picks up where we left off with Splinter, post-Saki becoming the Shredder. At the same time that Shredder was on the run with Karai seeking out his followers, Splinter was packing up for the states. He goes poking around a lot of mystic communities for anyone who could potentially help him find and seal a powerful magical artifact, so naturally he was pointed in the direction of New York's most prominent alchemist.

At first, Draxum is actually a pretty reliable ally. He's genuinely interested in the information Yoshi has on the Shredder and the Dark Armor. He's also more than happy to track the Foot's movements and research more deeply into the topic of how the armor was sealed away in the first place. They work together for a good few months, gathering what they can, and Yoshi is under the impression Draxum intends to help him seal the armor.

However, he doesn't bank on Draxum's own ulterior motives. He despises having to hide in the shadows while humans roam free, and he's always dreamed of a day where his kind, mystics and inhumans alike, could live openly. His desire for power and his willingness to do whatever is necessary to achieve his goals drives him to believe that possessing the Shredder could be his key to success. A demon of infinite power who devours the souls of the men who don its armor would make taking over the surface a breeze. So he betrays Yoshi, intending to use the human's DNA to perfect his mutagen and make all of humanity into monsters. Yoshi manages to escape, though, taking Draxum's first and only mutant experiments with him and sabotaging his mutagen. He succeeds in halting Draxum's work but gets mutated in the process.

Draxum, of course, still intends to take the surface and let the preternatural roam free. He's just set back by Splinter's sabotage. He's not necessarily personally angry with Splinter--an eye for an eye and all that, and Draxum did betray him first--but it certainly still bites to lose his progress like that. He never stops keeping an eye out for his turtles, though. If he could get his hands on them again, he might be able to reverse engineer his old formula.

[lies-unfurl]

sorry, this got so long, i definitely got off topic to cry about stevebucky and sambucky and you did not ask for the novel length of this 😬

okay, I finished that silly little book. I can appreciate it for the fact that we finally have some more exploration of bucky’s character signed off by marvel but I went into this without having read the blurb (my own fault) and so to discover it was an AU, I started reading it before I sent you that ask, was kind of disappointing. I really wanted to love this but the way bucky was portrayed in here almost felt cartoonish and wildly out of character, more a bumbling idiot than the sharp, responsible buck we know and love, and you couldn't really tell bucky was seventeen for the most part, he almost felt like a twelve year old kid in the way he acted. 

it’s also intended for a young audience so I guess this is why that 1941 plotline had to be dragged out for so long. I do think it’s funny that the entire “who the hell is bucky” moment was with an actually confirmed lover in this book, which kind of confirms stucky was romantic, if you squint. maybe not. and oh my god, steve!! he was there for like two minutes, but I loved that quick little interaction they had. 

(and I mean, I can get behind the au thing of it all but how in the hell did bucky survive cryostasis and the torture without the supersoldier serum? 😭I KNOW it’s a comic book based story, but still)

I loved this book for the 1954 storyline, god. the reason why even wears the mask to begin with broke my heart all over again. the last two chapters and his mission in riga really sealed the deal for me. so, if anything, I’m glad I read this book for those chapters. the last two chapters were so good.

mostly I just feel resentment towards the mcu for sidelining bucky’s character for years. there is so much potential, or was, I wasn’t a fan or even aware of the cap trilogy back in 2014 but having watched ca:tws now I felt like, okay, after this it’s finally time to explore bucky’s character more in-depth. I felt like this was the set up to finally tell bucky’s story. and why didn’t they? he’s one of the most beloved characters ever. it’s crazy to me how homophobic those marvel execs must have been, they saw sebastian stan and chris evans had a little too much chemistry and were like nah, we can’t ever let those two be seen on screen together for longer than five minutes. and I love stevebucky, I do. but I didn’t expect marvel to ever go there. just a movie exploring bucky’s life as the winter soldier from 1945 to 2016 and after. his friendship with nat, those years on the run, wakanda, maybe. I’m so glad fanfic exists bc it definitely fills that void but I kind of feel bad for sebastian bc he clearly had expectations and wants for that character that he never saw fulfilled. the state of the mcu just makes me want to scream, thinking about tfatws feels like a fever dream now knowing that in cap4 and thunderbolts the writers will just “forget” this show ever happened. forever mad that they never hired good writers after cap2 who actually cared about these characters and narrative coherency.

this book just made me want to reread not easily conquered and dive back into the steve/bucky tag for good wwii fics. these characters had so much potential! and they went nowhere with them! I think on a panel in 2018 cevans joked about a potential tv show or something where they could dive into steve and bucky’s lives in the 40s and then immediately said it’d be impossible to make this show.

No worries anon, I'm happy to hear your take on things! And I do largely agree with you. The teen Bucky section wasn't nearly as strong as the Winter Soldier stuff. In the comics, you can see that young!Bucky struggles with being impulsive, at least partially because he's driven by this desperate need to prove himself. In the book, he was just like... kind of dumb lol (and also weirdly sexist at first, in a way that was probably realistic for the time frame, but still very off-putting).

But the 1954 chapters are much more compelling, especially towards the end. I kind of wish it hadn't been a YA novel, because I think it could've leaned deeper into the sort of slow-burning horror aspect of the Winter Soldier gradually realizing that he doesn't know who he is, and he can't trust any of the people around him. Like you said, the last two chapters were gripping, probably the highlight of the book.

As for everything else... lol, yeah. I've resigned myself to the fact that the MCU will never live up to what I want it to be. Which is a franchise that like... actually cares about its characters lol. Instead, it's more interested in expanding, creating new properties to milk dry and then move on, only occasionally giving us crumbs of the stories that roped people in in the first place. I'd love a WWII-era show, or really anything that gets into the backstories for Steve, Sam, or Bucky. And I think it could be really cool to tell those stories in some of the animated shows. But I also don't think that's going to happen lol.

I think you hit the nail on the head by calling TFATWS a "fever dream." I will be seeing C4 and Thunderbolts, and I'm glad to get new content, but... tbh I would be more excited if I believed we'd get a Sam and Bucky reunion down the line. Unfortunately, I'm not super optimistic that'll happen.

But! That's what we have fandom for, at least.

[souyasbabyy]

• pairing: reiner x fem!reader (modern!au)

• summary: you always loved reiner's mom but since you've got your son, she's being annoying

• genre: fluff mostly

• note: i love reiner with my entire being so i'm testing this, maybe i'll start writing for more than just tokyo revengers (the son's name is Ash because i wasn't inspired with the name)

Your son that learned to walk two days ago, was now leaning on the sofa, looking at you and his dad dancing and laughing together. He laughed loudly, wiggling on his two little legs. You were looking at Reiner with all the love in the world before looking at your son and his big gummy smile, he start to move into your direction and Reiner let go of you to kneel and pick him up, dancing with you two as he kissed his son's cheeks. Your house was filled with music and laugher, you couldn't help but thought that you never were happier that during this moment.

You checked the clock "We're gonna be late again Reiner" you say, you dettached yourself from his grip and he just shrug, twirling with his son in his arm making him laugh even more "My mom won't get mad, she just want to see Ash, nanny can't get mad at you right?" he ask with a little voice to your son and it seemed to amuse your baby as he giggles. You smile kissing your husband's cheek "But nana is gonna get mad at daddy and mommy" you say taking your son to put his coat and shoes on and Reiner sigh "Mommy is not funny".

When Reiner open the door of his mother's house he saw Gaby running and Falco chasing her, his mom got up immediatly and took Ash from your arms "You're late" she says, gently pinching your son's cheek before kissing his forehead, she walks away "It's my fault" says Reiner kissing your cheek when he notice you were looking at him as if to say "I told you"

You sit at the table with everyone and Gaby came to you asking for the brownies you usually make "I didn't have time to do them, I'm sorry" you say and she pout before walking to Ash, taking him away from her aunt's arm, making the plane with him. Reiner wince when she turn to go back to Falco "Gaby, please be careful", you smile massaging his thighs trying to reassure him.

You were now talking with the wife of Reiner's uncle while he was with his mother when suddenly loud cries could be heard. You didn't even had time to think that Reiner was already running to were they were coming from. "What happened?" he ask picking his son up, trying to see if he was injured "He wanted the Lego but it's too little for him" explain Falco while Gaby was covering her ears.

Coming back to where you were, your son still crying in your husband arms you ask if he fell and while he explained what happened your mother in law asked to get your son. You sat back on your chair, sighing while Reiner gave Ash to his mom an apologetic look on his face. But Karina's arms didn't seemed to be enough to sooth your son as he was doing the grabby hands toward you, still crying loudly. It was too hard for you to watch your son cry like that and his grand mother not even doing anything about it, wanting to keep him all to herself so you got up, taking YOUR son and going bakc on your chair to calm your child. He laid his head agains your chest, hiccuping. Reiner stroke his back"He's tired, does he make his night?" ask Karina, Reiner nod while you kept southing your baby.

In the car, on the wy back home, Ash was sleeping, Reiner's hand holding yours on the gear "She's really sweet when she want to be but she acts like Ash is her baby, she's not the one that push him out her vagina and almost faint three times. Reiner kiss your hand trying to calm you "It's okay, I'll tell her not to act like that with him, you're right she's-" "No" you pout "No what?" "She'll know it's from" you say and he smile "It's just, he's my baby"

[your-daily-biaswrecking]

Bunny Dance

pairing: Jungkook x female reader

genre: smut, crack, established relationship au

word count: 5k   | reading time: 30 min

summary: You really didn't think Jungkook was serious when you made those bets- betting a sexy performance to each other because it was funny. Yet here he was, waiting for you to give him a striptease. And being very serious about it. This is definitely going to end the way you think it is. 

warnings: softdom!kook, sub!reader, unprotected vaginal sex, dirty talk, swearing, sexy dance moves (jungkook dancing is a warning on its own!), domestic uwu,  it’s super dorky in the beggining and super intense later

Masterlist  |  Read on AO3

You heard the door shut, so you assumed your boyfriend was home, and then not two seconds later he burst into your bedroom, making you jump slightly.

"What are you doing?" he asked hastily. You were just lying in bed, scrolling on your phone, you thought that was pretty obvious.

"What am I doing?" you murmured, confused.

"You should be undressing right now!" Jungkook exclaimed, and suddenly loud music was coming from god knows where. But not just any music. It was "You can leave your hat on" by Joe Cocker.

"Excuse me?" you shrieked, throwing your phone away and sitting up to stare at him.

Your boyfriend smirked, swaying his hips and shoulders to the rhythm. "You heard me. You owe me a striptease."

Oh, now he had got to be joking. "Do not!" you argued.

"Yes, you do! Don't try to get out of it, sweetheart. You lost the bet and you know what that means."

Your mouth dropped open and you tried your best to look shocked or mad, but it was getting really hard to keep a straight face when Jungkook was doing one of the silliest dances in front of you. You don't think you had ever seen him this excited before. Pushing the covers away and getting on your feet, you fought through the blush creeping on your cheeks by looking away from his stare and shaking your head in disbelief.

"That was just a joke!"

But Jungkook raised a finger in protest. "No! No way! We shook hands on it, baby! You agreed that if I could shower faster than you, you'd give me a striptease. And I was faster–"

"I didn't actually think–"

"–by a full minute–"

"–that you would do it!"

"–and 43 seconds, baby!" Jungkook kept talking over you. "We made a bet!"

"Yeah, but that was only 'cause you always take an hour in there and we had to hurry!"

He shook his head dramatically. "I don't care! It was a bet!"

"And you have short hair so it's normal that you–"

"Nah, nah, I don't care, baby!" Jungkook interrupted you, moving closer and trying to grab your shirt. "You shouldn't have made the bet if you didn't want to."

You quickly smacked his hands away from you. "You!" You pointed an accusing finger at him. "You lost a bet the other week, but I didn't make you do anything!"

The boy just grinned at you with his teeth in full display, shrugging his shoulders. "Not my fault. You should have asked for your prize if you wanted to."

"Oh!" you laughed. "Then you own me a lap dance, too!"

Jungkook started taking his jacket off, and for a second you thought he got right into it. But he was just laughing at you. "No.…  You can't just do that now. I asked for my striptease." He threw his jacket on the ground and started moving closer to you again, the action seeming way more sexual than it was just because of the music still ringing in the background. You stretched your arms out to make sure you keep a distance while backing up.

"Yeah, but my bet came first. So your lap dance should come first," you tried to use reason in a completely unreasonable situation. When the back of your legs hit the edge of the bed, you jumped on it and stood up, towering over the man that usually was the one on top. You chuckled. Seeing his excited face was amusing all on its own, but the height difference really added to it.  

Jungkook hugged your legs so that you wouldn't move farther away from him, gaining a short, high pitch shriek from you. "You're only asking for that because I asked first. It's not fair."

"What's not fair is you trying to get a sexy show out of me when you have deprived me of mine!" you chuckled, holding onto his shoulders for balance.

"You never asked!" Jungkook insisted, strengthening his grip when he felt you trying to get away.

"I'm asking right now!" you called out, almost falling on him entirely.

Jungkook stared at you through his lashes for a couple of seconds, and then, with a quick shift and a yelp from you, swooped your legs up and let your back crush on the mattress. Within a moment, he had caged you underneath him.

"Alright then," he talked slowly, with a low tone and his voice huskier. His tongue ran over his bottom lip as his eyes ran over your body under him. "I'll give you your lap dance. But you have to give me my striptease first."

You wanted to laugh, just like you had been doing all this time, but your boyfriend's gaze on you made you choke. You would never get used to that, apparently. Finally finding the strength to make your arms work again, you pushed on his chest, trying to get him off.

"I don't even know how to do that..."

"Sure you do. You just take your clothes off, that simple," Jungkook smirked. "Now, stop acting like a child, and let me see your boobs!"

"Oh, I'm acting like a child? Do you even listen to yourself?" But instead of answering, Jungkook just pouted at you. Dirty way to play the game– he knew you could never resist that pout. "Alright," you sighed. "But on one condition: I choose the song I strip to!"

Jungkook immediately pulled away, getting up and freeing you from his strong body. "No, no deal," he rejected. "You're going to choose a stupid one like- like that Lazy Town song!" Your mouth flew right open. And Jungkook's did too. "Oh my god, you were going to choose that, weren't you?"

You screamed out laughing then. "We are number one!" you cackled. You couldn't even hear your boyfriend's repeated displays of utter despair and refusal over your awe of how in sync you had been.

Eventually, you calmed down and looked at him. He was still pouting, this time with some puppy eyes thrown in the mix. You got up and wrapped your arms around his slim waist.

"Okay, okay... You choose any song you like, but I can't promise I'll be serious about it," you said and Jungkook glowed up with excitement again. "But it can't be this one, turn this off, please." And he did, right away, turning the famous striptease song off, that had either been playing on repeat by now or was just a lot longer than you remembered.

He started looking through his song library, humming a reaction to every song he had saved under his sex playlist. He looked so enthusiastic but also casual about it, you wondered how many times he had done this before. The thought alone maybe you cower in your own clothes, twisting the hem of your shirt nervously. What if he was used to getting stuff like these from his previous girlfriends and you let him down? Because you had definitely not done this before.

You cleared your throat yet still didn't get his attention. "So... Do- do I change? Into something, you know, else? Or..." you mumbled under your breath.

Jungkook shook his head without taking his eyes off his phone screen. "No, you're fine."

You looked down at yourself. "But... I'm just in my pajamas."

"Uh-huh," Jungkook hummed, still not looking at you.

You cleared your throat again. "Shouldn't I be wearing something sexier?" you gulped.

Finally, he looked at you. His eyes ran over your body quickly before a smirk appeared on his lips. "You look sexy, baby. Plus, it's not about what you're wearing but about what you're not!" He winked at you and went back to searching for a song.

You felt your cheeks flare up at his words and dared to take a few steps closer to him, feeling more comfortable. "You seem to know a lot about this, Kookie," you said raising your eyebrows and he gifted you a glance to check your expression.

He sighed with a smile. "I don't, but I can't wait to find out tonight, baby. What do you think about Or Nah?"

You scrunched your nose. "Oh, no. Absolutely not."

"Rihanna's Needed me?"

You cocked your head to the side, thinking about it. "I guess?"

But Jungkook gasped. "Oh, I know! Earned it. By the Weeknd." You opened your mouth but before you could say anything, Jungkook hushed you. "I know you love this one, come on, baby." He hit play and dropped the phone away, placing both of his hands on your waist, his palms oddly warm on you even over the clothes. "Let me see your body move to this."

You pulled away, still not feeling entirely ready for this, but just the way your boyfriend was looking at you was enough to get you moving. Your fingers found the top button of your pajama shirt and lingered there. The boy in front of you moved to take a seat on your bed, staring at your eyes with his wide and awaiting ones. You didn't understand why he wanted this, it's not like he had never seen you naked before, but you still unbuttoned that first button.

Jungkook took a breath, his eyes falling to your hands on your chest. You unbuttoned another one. You weren't wearing a bra –because who does that inside the house?– and now that was becoming apparent to your boyfriend, too.

"I- I don't know what to do..." You mumbled to excuse the way you were just standing there, in front of him, undoing your shirt with an unknown nervousness.

"Hmm..." Jungkook growled in the back of his throat, a sound that made your stomach flip. A sound that meant he was enjoying his show, even if you didn't understand how or why. "Just do what you want, baby," he told you.

The song seemed to be moving so fast, you thought you wouldn't be able to undress before it was over. So you just ripped the rest of the buttons open. And Jungkook took a sharp breath in as your stomach was revealed to him, up until your round tummy under your bellybutton. His reactions, his hungry eyes, the noises he was trying not to make... it all helped you be more confident. Your breasts were still concealed behind the fabric, and before revealing them, you decided to turn around. Your back facing him. And then you slowly let the silk clothing slip from your shoulders.

"Oh, baby..." Jungkook inhaled through his teeth when he realized you were teasing him. Seconds ago you were a shy, awkward mess who didn't want to do this, and now you were giving him a seductive, piercing gaze over your shoulder as your back was getting bare inch by inch. You let the shirt fall completely to the ground. "Turn around, sweetheart," Jungkook said in a raspy voice, which only made you giggle.

Instead of listening to him, you let your head drop back. Back until your hair was falling over your shoulder blades and his eyes could almost see more than your neck. You raked your fingers through your hair, moving it around in what you hoped was a lustful way before you let your hands travel down your body. You felt your breasts, your stomach, your waist, your love handles… You touched all of you the way Jungkook only did. Your fingers slid under your pants and you started pulling them down, slowly, while moving your hips to the rhythm.

Jungkook groaned your name, getting deliciously frustrated. He could see your underwear, some plain black cotton panties covering up half of your ass, and it felt like such an achievement. The moment your pants hit the floor, you stepped out of them and turned a little to the side, allowing him the view of your side profile, the swell of your breast, the bump of your ass.

But the song started fading away and you quickly covered yourself with your arms, turning away from him again.

"Oh, it's over!" you called.

"No!" Jungkook jumped up. "No, no, c'mon. That was such a short song, no, you have to finish!" he objected, again and again.

You shook your head and laughed. "Oh, it's not my fault you chose a short song." The music had moved on to the next sexy song, but you just stayed still.

"Baby, you need to finish," your boyfriend said in the most demanding voice he could muster at that moment, but you were unmoved. You glanced at him over your shoulder- he was pouting, with his eyebrows frowned and his chest swelling. You had to bite your lip. He looked so hot. You let your eyes drop lower, and lower, until they reached his crotch.

"I can't believe that worked..." you mumbled at the sight of a very hard Jungkook, straining through his grey sweatpants. You had barely done anything and yet your boyfriend looked ready to risk it all for you. It astonished you, truly, how easily this boy got turned on by you. He must truly love you, you thought.

"Baby..." he started to say.

"It's my turn now!" you informed him and quickly bent down to grab your shirt. However, Jungkook had different plans.

"Oh, hell no!" he exclaimed as he jumped from the bed, grabbing your body from behind and immobilizing you. "If you're not going to at least finish getting undressed for me, baby, you're not allowed to put anything on."

"Jungkook!" you whined.

The boy just buried his nose behind your ear and planted a soft kiss on your neck. "I'm not taking no for an answer," he whispered in your ear. "If you want me to give you a lap dance, my condition is you stay exactly the way you are right now."

Defeated, you dropped your arms from your breasts and stood straight up again, pressing on his body more while doing so. Feeling just what you had caused down there, flushed on your lower back. A moan was caught on your throat.

"Alright," you whispered back. "Do I choose the song?"

You heard Jungkook sniff your hair before he gave you another kiss on the back of your neck and pulled away. "Sure. Choose whatever you want." It was said in a warm whisper. Then he walked out of the room. You frowned at the open door for a second, wondering where he was going.

You took his phone in your hands, pausing the random song and thinking what you're going to put on for your price. Low-key wanted to just go for the obvious choice: Pony by Ginuwine. If Jungkook was even slightly aware of the famous dance from Magic Mike, you would definitely want to see him do it. But then again, you thought, you wanted something with a slower beat. Get him to go slow so you can savor every second of it. Is there a song like this that also happens to last, say, 10 minutes?

Your boyfriend walked back in with a chair in his hold. "What's this?" you asked.

"If I'm giving you a lap dance, I'm doing it the right way," he explained as he planted that chair in the middle of the room. He looked at you, eyes glistening, glancing at your exposed chest and back at your flustered face. "Did you choose?"

You felt frozen for a moment, paralyzed at the sight of your way too confident and ready-for-this boyfriend. Exactly what was he planning to do? "Uh... Yeah," you said, and you looked at the screen, looking at the first song that was on it. "All Mine, PLAZA." Sure, that's good enough.

Jungkook nodded. He walked to you and took the phone from your hands. "Sit," he ordered.

Without waiting to be told twice, you slid on that chair, holding your hands over your well pressed together lap. You stared at Jungkook examining his phone from the corner of your eye and you gulped. He pushed his hair back with one hand and pressed play with the other. His eyes were immediately on you.

Jungkook dragged his feet through the floor until he was in front of you, grabbing the hem of his black t-shirt and lifting it to reveal half of his torso in a quick tease. He swayed to the music some more, giving you a couple more choreographed moves before he dropped down to a handstand at the first sound of the lyrics. His hands on the floor, as he came down slowly to grind on it, and then thrust a couple of times powerfully. He twisted and slid on the tiles, grabbing the legs of your chair to lift himself, crotch first, until he was towering over your seated form. His eyes found yours and you couldn't help but feel your whole face burn, a moan, or perhaps a prayer of his name, threatening to escape your lungs.

He straddled your lap and you suddenly didn't know what to do with your hands. As if reading your mind, Jungkook grabbed them, intertwining your fingers fast and pushing your hands behind your head, while he started grinding on you. A shaky breath left from your parted lips as his grinds became more aggressive right before he released you and got up. He walked behind you until you couldn't see him. But then you felt him, his hands traveling down your sides, his breath hitting your ear. Suddenly, you yelped as you felt like you were falling backward, and grabbed onto his arms for protection. But Jungkook was the one who pushed your chair back, just like he pushed it back down as he jumped in front of you again, using your hands to pull you close to his body. He grabbed your jaw and brought it close to his, his lips only a breath away from your own, as the rest of his body slowly moved farther away.

With the chorus dropping, Jungkook held the back of your head while he thrust up in the air, his crotch coming dangerously close to your face. And just as fast, he was gone again. You whined as you saw him perform for you from a distance that offered no physical contact. His hands danced under his shirt, riding it up, until it was caught on his head and forcefully thrown across the room. You drooled over your boyfriend's body, over the way his muscles moved along with him. No matter how many times you saw him, you would never get used to this view. That, you could promise.

Your boyfriend got on his knees, crawling fiercely to you. His hands landed on your legs and, without missing a beat, he forced them open.

"Jungkook," you called, but he wouldn't listen. He buried his face right into your center. You moaned loudly as he ground his face on you a couple of times, and then moved higher. His back arched and your hand in his, Jungkook guided you to feel him up, run your fingers down his abs, grab the hem of his sweats, and pull down to reveal the beginning of his pubes. You called him again, but he didn't stop.

He was gone again. Moving to the rhythm of the song you had chosen, his eyes always on your own, his intentions always feral. He was truly giving you the worst he had to offer, in the best way possible. And you couldn't understand how you were the one who asked for this. Or, better yet, how you hadn't asked for this earlier.

Your entire body felt like it was on fire and you couldn't even register everything that was happening. He was there, then he wasn't. Jungkook's hands were on you again, playing with your hair, making you beg. Beg for something not even you were sure what it was. He was grinding on you and thrusting in the small space between you, and all you could do was stare. Until he grabbed both of your arms and pulled you to your feet.

You were terrified, your legs could barely work by then, but Jungkook held you by the waist and moved his hips on yours, making sure you could feel just how hard he was for you. His hands traveled south until he grabbed your ass, squeezing it, and then he pushed.

You gasped as he made you jump, wrapping arms and legs around his body. His face was all over your breasts, grinding and licking. You felt something cold touch your back and you squealed. You were being pressed against the mirror.

"God, Jungkook," you gasped, as he adjusted himself to be able to thrust on you in beat with the song. Your head fell back, your eyes literally rolling up until all you saw was darkness, an animalistic growl roaring out of you. "Oh my god, Jungkook, please just fuck me already!"

You heard a groan, and immediately your back was being released from the mirror and meeting the floor instead, one hand protecting the back of your head from the abrupt collision. Then your wrists were pinned over you, then one leg was pushed up until your knee hit your chest while the other made room for him to grind his dick right on your clothed clit.

"I'd be fucking you already if you had finished getting undressed..."

Your wrists strained against his hold in a pitiful way. "Please..." you begged, and he stopped moving. His eyes examined your burning face with a smirk.

"You enjoying the show?" he asked, out of breath, realizing the song was coming to an end. He lowered his face in your neck and started sucking and biting down on it. 

"Hmm, please..." you murmured again as if it was the only thing you knew how to say, and you raised your hips to grind on him, already addicted to the feeling.

"You gonna take those panties off for me now?" you heard his voice come muffled between the kisses on your collarbone. As a response, you ground harder on him, and Jungkook suddenly pulled away. He looked at you, growled, and grabbed your black panties from the sides. Moving away from your legs, he pulled them down until he could throw them away completely.

"C'mere, babe," he mumbled to himself as he grabbed you by the ankles and pulled you suddenly with force until your naked pussy was flashed against his crotch. Slowly, he moved over you, his hard dick inside his sweatpants poking at your clit on purpose with the most agonizing pace, as he hummed and moaned, watching your desperate form squirm, your unfocused eyes water, your open mouth, your burning skin... Stalling as if he had all the time in the world. "Did you like it, baby? My dance?" he asked and all you could do was moan in response. This wasn't the time to make small talk.

Your nails dug in his bare back. "Please, Kookie... I need you."

"I know you do, baby." Jungkook pulled his hips away and looked down. There was a dark grey stain right on the tip of his dick from your juices. "Fuck..." he groaned. "You're so wet for me, baby." So wet he didn't have to do anything to prep you. You were literally oozing out your want for him to fill you up. With his right hand, he pushed his pants down until he was able to pull out his dick. He wasn't wearing any underwear, had taken it off when he was gone to get the chair.

Jungkook grabbed the side of your neck with one hand, almost half choking you, while he pumped himself a couple of times with the other. He brought the tip to your folds, moving it up and down to coat himself in your wetness, to grind on your clit one more time and gain another moan from your pretty lips, to torture you a for little longer.

"You want me to fuck you raw, baby?"

"Yes, yes!" you exclaimed, anguished. "Just fuck me already!"

He pressed his thump on your neck a bit more, while clicking his tongue disapprovingly. "Such a desperate little slut, aren't you? Careful," he warned.

Finally, he aligned himself with your entrance and pushed inside of you slowly.

"Ohh... Fuck!" you moaned, your nails marking him even further as your head fell back. His hand released your throat to grab your breast and squeeze hard as he started moving. He pulled all the way out, then pushed all the way back in until he bottomed. He ground in there a couple of times, nudging your cervix softly, then pulled all the way back out.

"Faster, Kookie" you whined.

Jungkook stopped. He grabbed your jaw and forced you to look at him. "You don't get to give orders here," he told you. And gave you a hard thrust that made you scream. "I do what I want, yeah?" Another hard thrust.

"Oh! Ohh, yes..."

"If I wanna fuck you hard and slow, that's what I'll do," he added, but in contrast to his words, he started picking up the pace. He buried his face in your neck, his warm, quick breaths tickling your sensitive skin. You moved your hands to his hair and started pulling. His pace kept getting faster and his moans sounded like he was already about to cum, but he didn't falter at all. Your mouth found access to the top of his ear and you bit down on it.

"Shit!" Jungkook exclaimed and pulled away, hovering over your face and staring at you. "Babe..." He mumbled, grabbing the back of your knees and pushing toward your chest. When he thrust inside of you again, you could feel him so much deeper than before.

"Oh my god, Kook," you moaned, trying to move along with him to better hit the part inside you you most needed.

"I- I can feel it," he mumbled, biting his lip and rolling his hips inside of you, instead of pulling out and thrusting back in.

"Ah, yes, baby! Right there, make me come," you asked. Ready to please, Jungkook pushed two fingers inside your mouth for you to wet them, then pressed them on your clit, rubbing slow circles.

"Is that what you wanted, sweetheart?" he asked, leaning down and smirking at you.

You nodded deliriously. "More," you rasped.

With a groan, Jungkook made his thrusts quick and hard, his whole hand pressing down over your clit so much that he could feel himself inside you. He growled at the feeling -at the idea- of him being so deep.

He gave you a little kiss. "Is that enough, baby?"

You had to put so much effort into keeping your eyes on his. "Ah, yes! So good! Baby, you're so good." Your boyfriend smiled at the praise and kissed you again, more deeply. He pushed his tongue against yours aggressively in the exact way he knew you liked, trying to get you to cum. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you were getting so close you had absolutely zero control over your own body.

"Are you about to cum, love?" Jungkook pulled away to ask. "Sh- fuck! I can feel it. Cum- cum for me, baby. Let me make you feel good, yeah?"

The moment you opened your eyes, and you saw how your boyfriend's dark, blown, dangerous eyes were staring at you as if you were the most gorgeous being in the world, expecting to get an orgasm out of you, that was the moment you peaked. And you screamed his name but were silenced by him kissing you to amplify your pleasure. Jungkook picked up his pace, fucking you hard through your high until he couldn't take it anymore, so he pulled out and immediately came all over your tummy.

Your boyfriend fell next to you, facing the ceiling and trying to catch his breath. You turned your head just enough to be able to see him through your peripheral vision because your body was absolutely incapable of doing anything more than that. He looked so beautiful, you noticed. His hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, his eyes shut closed and his nose scrunched up in an expression that seemed almost painful, yet you knew it was because of his orgasm. His Adam's apple bopping up and down every time he swallowed a breath whole.

"I love you so much," you admitted suddenly. "I'm so lucky to have you."

Jungkook chuckled. "Wow, so in sync. I was just thinking that about you." You smiled, flustered by his sweet words. His head turned to your side and he checked you out. "Give me a minute, baby, and I'll clean you up, yeah?" So he also couldn't move.

You bit your lip to stop you from giggling. "So no round two?"

His eyebrows shot up in his forehead. "Oh? Sure, yeah... Are you willing to get on top?"

You both chuckled. You felt like you could finally move your hand a bit, so you raised it to grab his. "You know, that was amazing. Your dancing."

"I liked it," he admitted.

"Honestly, you looked like you've been waiting for this your entire life," you laughed.

"I have, actually!" Jungkook interjected. He stretched slightly. "You definitely know from now on what we'll be betting on all our bets, right?"

You shook your head with a smile. "I could never be as good as you. Did you not see how awkward my striptease was?"

"What are you talking about, that shit was adorable and sexy as fuck!"

You laughed, covering your mouth. You moved closer to him, cuddling his side. "No, but... I definitely don't mind betting lap dances. I mean, I always win, anyway."

"If we end up fucking like that every time, I win even when I don't win!"

You chuckled and gave your boyfriend a small kiss on his cheek. "Yeah, yeah... Anything you say, bunny."

[khaleesiofalicante]

in holt's voice: Pain. That's it.

Today hasn't been the best but HEY I HAD THESE PRECIOUS BABIES TO KEEP MY COMPANY

He looked exhausted like he hadn’t slept at all.

alec...

I'm already sad and ready to murder

the baby...

David had never lost someone he loved.

this is fucking foreshadowing isn't it

But real strength was not in surviving the presence of pain. Real strength was in suviving the absence of love.

despite the chaos I'm glad to see these two interacting

The Consul leaned back in his chair and ran his hand through his beard. David had to admit, he looked damn good with it. Even if it made him seem even more intimidating than before.

yes boy YES

it's really hard not to smile right now but my camera is on and im supposed to be finding meanings of foreign words based on my own knowledge so-

JACKSON

“Max is too old for me to tell him what he is and isn’t allowed to do,” the Consul said – although he didn’t sound very happy about it.

MY TEACHER ASKED ME THE FIRST QUESTION IM LOSING MY SHIT

It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.

let's hope so

Facts and figures, babe, Max had kissed his cheek last night. Dad likes facts and figures.

deep breathes

it'll be ok

“You’ve done your research,” the Consul nodded. There was a hint of approval in his voice that made David want to do a cartwheel.

AWWWW

“I’d like to take care of the New York institute,” David said now. “Because Jace Herondale and Clary Fairchild took care of me.”

And for the first time that evening, the Consul smiled. David wanted to burst into song.

AHHHH

this is beautiful

David couldn’t help but find that endearing. He wondered what it felt like to be loved like that. He wondered what it felt like to have a father like that – a father who couldn't stop loving his child even for a moment.

A love that was endless and tireless.

Every time he was in the presence of the Lightwood-Bane family he was reminded of what he had lost and what every child deserved.

It made him sad.

But then he would remember. He would remember that Max had grown up knowing nothing but this. Max had grown up with nothing but love.

It made him happy.

alright come here let me hug you

UHUHSCUICDUH "Why do you not like me"

“I know I worry too much about Max,” the Consul said, his smile sad now. “But I can only worry now. I won’t always be there to worry over him.”

it's 9 am boy

THESE TWO REALLY BE ASKING THE TRUE QUESTIONS

"Why are you scared of me" HSUHYUKDUMKDS WELL YOU SEE-

all we can really do is replace the bad memories with happier ones...

“No,” the Consul said, and David’s heart almost stopped. “I mean, of course I care. But I don’t have to be hard on you to show you that I do. There are many ways to show people we care about them without hurting them.”

David thought of his father then. He remembered the way his father had drawn the agony rune on his wrist and promised him it was because he loved David and wanted him to be strong. The memory hurt.

Jace and Clary bestest

“I’m sorry for whatever I did to intimidate you,” the Consul apologized.

that is so alec oh my god 😭

David looked him in the eye. “You’re Alec Lightwood.”

The man looked confused. “Is that supposed to mean something?

I'm smiling so much right now because yeah

yeah I get what he's saying

David hadn’t known that boys were allowed to kiss other boys – not until he heard about Alec Lightwood’s Accords Hall kiss.

David hadn’t known fairy tales existed outside of books - not until he heard about Alec Lightwood adopting a warlock baby with Magnus Bane.

David hadn’t known love can literally change the world – not until he heard about Alec Lightwood changing the world for the man he loved.

don't make me cry during linguistics

“Well,” the Consul chuckled. “To be entirely honest, I did all of that for Magnus.”

as he should

“Everything I have ever done has always been for Magnus,” the Consul said, his voice oddly soft.

we're talking about some wall in class and im here trying not to cry

my teacher just asked why some of us have our cameras off WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY

“I don’t want to be a hero,” David confessed honestly. “I just thought if I ran away to a city full of heroes, they would protect me if someone tried to hurt me again.”

“What’s that?” the Consul frowned, pointing at his neck.

By the angel! David was going to have words with Max when he saw him again.

“Uh,” David said. “Mosquito bite.”

AHHHHHHHH MOSQUITO BITE

“Do you remember when Izzy got attacked by a demon in Edom?”

“And you drank my blood,” the Consul rolled his eyes.

“Aw,” the Dean of the Academy chuckled. “You do remember.”

poor David is stuck between them talking like this IM SCREAMING

He remembered the way Consul had blamed himself when Max had found the spoils room at the York Institute. The way he had believed he should have done better when his eldest son had been traumatized by foul rumours of the Clave.

oh honey no

There were people who got mad at themselves when things went wrong.

There were people who got mad at everyone around them when things went wrong.

While Alec Lightwood was the former, his son and David’s boyfriend, was definitely the latter.

I'm definitely both

“It wasn’t your fault,” David spoke up then. “When bad things happen to people, it’s because of the people who did those bad things. We shouldn’t atone for someone else’s sins.”

“Yeah. Stop atoning, dude,” the Dean said chuckled. “Listen to the boy.”

YES EVERYONE LISTEN TO DAVID

“And be careful,” the Consul said, his tone a little different now.

“I will keep an eye on-”

“No,” the Consul said and pointed at the hickey on David’s neck. “With Max. Be careful.”

David was pretty sure his face on fire.

OH MY GOD

IM SHAKING

“Um, we have the internet,” David pointed out.

The Consul blinked. “Right. Of course. The internet.”

yes

ao3 and Wattpad

KIDS DON'T GO ON THESE WEBSITES AT 11 JUST DO NOT

“If he gives you a hard time, don’t give up,” the man whispered like it was a secret. “You just need to weasel your way into his life.”

David chuckled. “Is that what you did?”

yup

“Yeah, and then he had the audacity to get accidentally get drunk and confess his love in the middle of the night.”

AWW SHE'S TELLING GIGI ABOUT THEIR PAST

“I did have a latte,” her mother said with a straight face.

Georgia didn’t find that funny.

I almost said "BECAUSE IT'S NOT FUNNY" before I realized that is exactly what I would've said

She knew her mother, like so many other people in her life, preferred to use humour to cope with the pain. They preferred to hide their pain away from other people.

Georgia never understood why people did that. Did they think others didn’t know what pain felt like? Everyone was in pain all the time – some kind of it at least. Everyone knew how to cope with it. So, it made more sense to share it than to carry it all by yourself.

i...I never look at it that way

Apparently, hand holding had special healing abilities at times like this.

yeah it really does

Georgia had hoped to find out herself. She had wondered so much about the baby.

tears. literal tears

It didn’t matter that Georgia had wanted to name the baby Abigail after the first iron sister. It didn’t matter that her father wanted to name the baby Jonathan to piss off Uncle Jace.

Abigail Jonathan Lightwood-Lovelace

FUCK OFF AND LET ME CRY IN PEACE

People said that poison was a coward’s weapon. But Georgia didn’t think so. It wasn’t easy to make poison. It wasn’t easy sneak it into the right place at the right time.

Whoever did this, they were not cowards. They were smart and they should be feared.

yeah, what did happen during the trial?

uh is Selena ok?

like genuinely

is she just a very heavy sleeper or...

MARYSE

Because sometimes the only comfort you needed was your mom.

yeah...

Except for random parts of the house that were incredibly organized – a sign Uncle Jace had been there

Yup.

“I’m staying in New York, mom. I’m going to help Selena and the centurions find out who did this to me,” her mother said, her words a promise. “And once I do, I’m going to strangle them with my whip.”

Yes you will

Anjali and Rafe

please be ok. please

HOW ABOUT WE DO A TRADE

ZARA'S LIFE FOR ANJALI'S 😄

ok I know that's not how it works but IM DESPERATE

her bedroom seems amazing though

Rafael gave so much shit to his dad because the other man had the habit of watching his husband sleep.

But now he sort of understood the fascination.

AWWWWW

“You do ballet?” he asked, holding up the ballet shoes.

slightly reminds me of rosa

OK WHO AM I KIDDING SHE TOTALLY DOES

the red binder

it's fucking genius

David can keep his flowers and cookies and scarves.

This, what he held in his hands right now, was the best thing anyone could ever give him. A file full of reforms to make the clave better.

IM SCREAMING

“You think I want to die and leave the Council in your cishet hands?”

YES BESTIE

“I don’t care what the Clave needs,” Rafael snapped, and Anjali momentarily looked taken aback. “I need you.”

he needs her

FUCK IT TIME TO CRY

“Bulgaria is known as the land of roses,” Rafael told her. “The Sofia Institute is built in the middle of a rose garden.”

“Oh,” Anjali’s eyes momentarily softened. “I like roses.”

you know that tiktok trend? the one which goes "listen it's a good joke it's a great joke even but i need you to stop" or smth like that?

yeah

His hand was itching to reach out and hold hers. So, he did just that. He reached out – very carefully – and took her hand in his own.

“I need you to get better, Anjali,” he whispered. “Cause I would very much like to take you there.”

HAND HOLDING

no she's not becoming a vampire

The part that was the shadowhunter – which told him she didn’t deserve to die over some angelic mishap.

The part that was the future Consul – which told him he needed Anjali on his side.

The part that was a Lightwood-Bane – which told him he should never give up fighting.

And then there was the part that was Rafael – just Rafael.

It told him he had to save his heart – no matter the consequences.

we're talking about some powerplant in geography and I'm crying over this

Anjali please please don't die

“Not everything,” Rafael told her. “I know someone who can help.”

WHO

GIVE ME A NAME

“Well, now we don’t know that for sure!” Max grinned. “Who knows what they get up to? Maybe there is someone occasional boning in the bone city.”

“How does manage to get more insufferable every time I meet him?” Jackson demanded.

i...never looked at it that way

OH JACKSON IS BECOMING A SILENT BROTHER

Max grinned widely at the other boy. “You wanna be my immortal buddy, Jack-Jack?”

OOP-

“The boys are back” he yelled, hugging David and Jackson. “Ty, our boys are back! Yas! The London Boys are back!”

THE LONDON BOYS

“Okay it’s a little disrespectful when you call her by the same name you call me,” Max pointed out.

“True,” Jackson nodded. “Irene shouldn’t be disrespected like that.”

YUYZXYSCGYZCGYUCUIZCVUH SCREAMING

"It’s hard being a celeb,” Max sighed dramatically.

“He is referring to the chaos you unleashed the last time you went there,” Jackson rolled his eyes. “People still remember you.”

“I’m memorable. It’s not my fault,” Max shrugged.

Max no more gambling bestie

“If the assassination attempt on Magnus had been successful, we wouldn’t be sitting and talking like this,” Kit pointed out. “The nephilim and downworlders would be at war.”

As they should. No one hurts Magnus

“So the target isn’t just Magnus Bane?” Jackson asked.

“Possibly,” Ty nodded. “The Consul and his husband…They are the ones who united the shadow world – with the Alliance. With their marriage. So, it’s not surprising that someone – seelie or not – wants to break it all down.”

with every line, I get closer to a breakdown

“There are people all around me to protect me from demons and crazy assassins,” Max smiled. “But you…You protect me from myself. So, don’t give me that I’m not good at protecting bullshit.”

so precious...

“Now let’s go find out which dumbass thought it would be a good idea to try and kill Magnus Fucking Bane.”

i have a few torture methods in mind

If shadowhunters couldn’t fight demons, it would put both downworlders and mundanes in danger. His father’s Clave – small as it was – did their best to keep the demons at bay. They were the only thing keeping the shadow world safe from demons.

Ikr?? Like David said earlier Alec's clave is literally the one doing the actual shadowhunting.

“Jackson is incredibly smart and perceptive. He knows what is good for him, David. He chose you to be his best friend. He has accepted that his family is gone for good and is finally focusing on his future. If this is what he wants to do and if this is who he wants to be, then you should trust that he has thought this through. He wouldn’t have chosen this life if he thought he wouldn’t be happy with it.”

TRUE

ALRIGHT WHO TF IS BEHIND ALL THIS

i just want to talk 🙂

“Great,” Max said, feeling frustrated. “So, someone created a fancy new poison just to kill my parents.”

“They did say something else,” Kit said, his tone worried. “The poison…It’s not entirely made of demonic properties.”

“Oh?” David said.

“It’s a mixture of angelic and demon properties,” Ty Blackthorn said. “And we know that-”

“Seelies,” Max whispered. “They have both angel and demon blood.”

Is anyone else scared?

GASP

WHAT IF

It's an angel and prince of hell working together?

ok that seems highly unlikely

“I don’t think you have a choice, bud,” Kit giggled. “Mina will have your head if you don’t get married. She has been working on a Pinterest board for years now.”

KIT

KIT

WHAT THE FUCK

OH MY GOD KIT

NO NO NO

HE CAN'T BE DEAD

NO FUCK NO

I'm absolutely loving all this angst so much. You said chapter 9 was the most angsty and frankly I can't wait :p

now...IF KIT AND ANJALI DIE I WILL BE VERY VERY SAD but the angst potential with Anjali though...NOPE NOPE NOPE. MY GIRL'S GONNA BE INQUISITOR I KNOW SHE WILL.

AHHHHHH THIS CHAPTER WAS A LOT LMAO.

I love how you are complaining but also thirsting for angst yall crazy.

I hope you are taking care of yourself and working on your entry for the competition!!!!!

Also the "we're talking about some wall in class" killed me lmao I laughed so hard fdhvjd.

[thatonerandomfan4]

Madness Combat: Just Bros Being Dudes

AO3 Link:

(Hhh This Took A Long Ass While Lmao)

--------------------------------------

Fandom: Madness Combat

Characters: Deimos, Sanford, Hank (Briefly), Jebus (Briefly), Tricky (Briefly)

Platonic Or Romantic?: Romantic Sanmos

Summary: Just A Normal Saturday In Nevada For The Boyfriends, Sanford And Deimos. They Also Share Their First Kiss With The Help Of Hank And Tricky Thanks To A Text Message. Also Deimos Makes A Lot Of Jokes, If You Know Them Then Congrats. :) If Not, That's Ok.

--------------------------------------

The Sound Of The Alarm Clock Went Off At 8:00 AM, Causing Deimos To Wake Up From His Slumber. He Sat Up From The Sleeping Position He Was In And Yawned While Stretching Before Hitting The Snooze Button And Rubbing His Eyes. Looking Over To His Side, He Noticed Sanford Was Absent From His Side Of The Bed. It Was Cold, So He Had Been Probably Gone For A While Now. It Was Done Nicely Compared To The Smaller Man's Side Of The Bed, Which Was Very Messy.

Deimos Knew San Liked To Wake Up An Hour Or Two Earlier Than Him All The Time. He Did That Even If They Weren’t Being Bothered By The L33t / A.A.H.W (Agency Against Hank Wimbleton) Groups Anymore. Deimos Slipped On The Closest Pair Of Slippers He Had By The Bed And Headed Toward The Kitchen. There He Heard Pans Being Set Down On The Stove Or In The Sink To Be Washed Later And Bacon Sizzling In A Pan.

Sanford Was At The Stove Making Breakfast While Whistling One Of Their Favorite Songs. That Favorite Song Happened To Be Poker Face By Lady Gaga, Deimos Would Always Sing And Dance Happily To It While Sanford Watched And Laughed During Their Breaks In Between Missions. Deimos Instantly Smiled At The Sight Of His Boyfriend Being In A Good Mood On A Morning. Everyone Knew Sanford Wasn't Much Of A Morning Person, He Was Only Cheerful When He Knew He Was Going To Have A Good Day.

It Always Was Fun Going On Missions Together And Then Getting To Relax With Each Other Afterwards. They Loved To Chat And Goof Off With Each Other All The Time. The Smaller Man Quietly Shuffled Into The Kitchen Being Careful Not To Distract The Man Cooking And Sat Down In A Chair. Ford Smiled And Flipped The Pancakes In The Pan. San Turned Around To See His Beloved Boyfriend Sitting At The Table.

Sanford, Smug: “Enjoying The View, Dee?’

Deimos, Jumping In Surprise And Hiding His Face In Embarrassment: “U-Uh What? Yeah, I Like Roses. I Mean What-”

Sanford, Giggling A Bit: “What? Anyway, How Many Pancakes Do You Want?”

Deimos: “Ooo, Can I Have 4?”

Sanford Nods And Turns Around, Walking Back To The Stove To Continue Their Breakfast. Deimos Watched His Boyfriend With Love In His Eyes. Dee Loved Watching His Boyfriend Do Anything; He Even Has A Whole Photo Album Full Of...Just Sanford In Battle Poses, Laying Down, Sitting, Ect..

Sanford Knew About Deimos’s Pictures. He Didn’t Really Mind, It Was Just When They Got Posted Online And Girls Were Coming To The Posts and Simping For The Man In The Bandana. Cut Back To Deimos Looking At Sanford With Love In His Eyes, Dee’s Tablet Vibrated On The Table.

Deimos Quickly Picked It Up, And Saw It Was From Hank. His Panic Died Down A Bit, And He Just Stared At The Notification. Like Sanford, Hank Liked Getting Up Early So He Can Get Things Done. One Of Those Things Would Be Making Sure Tricky Wasn’t Eating All The Food In The Fridge. Tricky Normally Has To Be Fed At Least 8 Times A Day To Ease His Chaotic Nature For A Few Minutes At Most. Then Jebus Has To Look After Him For Safety Reasons.

--------------------------------------------------

Hank: Deimos. Are You Up?

Hank: Deimos? It's 7:04 AM.

Hank: ?

Hank: Deimos??

Hank: Oh Yeah. I Forgot You Like To Sleep In

Hank: You're Probably Going To Wake Up At 8:30 AM, As Always.

Hank: Anyway, I Just Wanted To Say Tricky Misses You Guys. He Keeps Talking About You And He’s Wondering If You 2 Can Come Play With Him Later Today Or Tomorrow.

Hank: He's Happy You Two Are A Couple Now. He Bought A Gift For You Too.

Hank: Well….He Stole It, Then I Had To Pay For The Damage….AND The Gift

Hank: Also, Quick Question….Have You 2 Even Kissed Yet?

--------------------------------------------------

There Was Silence For A Good 3 Seconds Until Deimos Screamed, Startling Sanford. The Tablet Fell On The Table Before Ford Could Even Reach His Boyfriend. The Man In The Bandana Hugged His Boyfriend To Calm Him. Ford Thought It Was Some Fangirl Who Messaged Him And Sent Something Gross As That Happened Very Often. He Took The Tablet To See For Himself, And Snorted When He Saw The Message. He Looked At Deimos Desperately Trying Not To Laugh At What He Saw.

Sanford: “You-” *He Quietly Giggles, Trying Not To Embarrass Deimos On Purpose* “You’re Screaming Because We Haven’t Kissed Yet?”

Deimos: “Well- I- Yo- We- He-”

He Was Immediately Silenced By His Boyfriend’s Lips Making Contact With His. They Stayed Like That For A Few Minutes Before Sanford Pulled Back And Got Back To The Stove. Deimos Just Sat There In Shock, His Face All Hot And Red. That Was Their First Ever Kiss, And Deimos Wanted To Be Involved Too. Just Thinking About It Made Him More Flustered. He Must've Been Spaced Out For A While Because When He Looked Up, Sanford Wasn't There. He Checked His Tablet Again And Saw A Notification: A Text From Hank.

--------------------------------------------------

Hank: Lol. Sanford Told Me You Screamed When I Asked.

Hank: That Probably Was Really Funny In Person

Hank: If Only He Recorded It.

Hank: *[One Attachment Sent]*

{Hank: He Didn’t Answer My Question. Did You Guys Kiss Yet Orrr?

Sanford: Well Yes And No. You Embarrassed Him Lol. It Was So Funny Haha

Sanford: He Screamed When He Saw Your Message, Then I Kissed Him.

Hank: Pfft- Are You Serious?! Wow Lol

Sanford: Yeah Lmao. Made Me Throw A Pancake At The Ceiling. It Was Mine Too :(

Sanford: Good Wasted Pancake :(

Sanford: *[One Attachment Sent]* {Image Description: A Gray Tiled Ceiling With A Medium-Sized Pancake Smacked In Between 4 Tiles.}

Hank: XD}

Deimos: I-

Deimos: YOU!! >:( THAT WAS YOUR FAULT HANK J. WIMBLETON!!

Deimos: YOU MADE HIM WASTE HIS PANCAKE. THAT WAS YOU!!

Deimos: YOU FUDGING BULLY >:(

Deimos: I'LL HECKING FIGHT YOU!!

Hank: XD

Hank: Yeah Right Lol. I'll See You Later

--------------------------------------------------

A Couple Minutes Pass And Sanford Taps Deimos On The Shoulder. Dee Turns Around To See His Boyfriend Fully Dressed. A Pile Of Clothes Was Placed In The Seat Next To The Shorter Man. Deimos Could Only Assume It Was His Clothing, As Hank Did Invite Them Over To See Tricky. The Smoker Popped A Cigarette In His Mouth And Left To Get Dressed. Once He Got Back, He Put His Cigarette In The Ashtray And Got Sanford Greeted With A Kiss. Well 2, One On The Forehead And One On The Mouth.

Deimos: “You Know, You Could’ve Waited Till I Was Ready For The Kiss.”

Sanford: “Why? It Would’ve Been A Year Or Two If You Said You Were Ready. That’s Basically How Our Relationship Started. Everyone Knows That, Ev-EVEN TRICKY KNOWS!”

Deimos’s Face Just Heated Up, He Knew That Was True And Couldn't Argue. After That Chat, Sanford And Deimos Got In Their Car And Headed To The Base. Deimos Was Messaging Hank During The Entire Ride. Hank Was Teasing Deimos A Lot About The Kiss, And How Deimos Reacted When It Was First Brought Up. Deimos Yelled-Texted At Hank Again, Causing The Man In The Red Goggles To Laugh Again. Dee Put His Tablet Away Once They Got To The Base. Of Course, None Other Than Hank Himself Was There To Greet Them And Welcome Them Back In.

They Passed The Savior, Jebus, Who Was Reading A Book, Supposedly A Bible Or Something He Could Find Lying Around. He Was Sitting At A Table With Red Wine In A Fancy Glass And Biscuits On A Plate. Deimos Wondered If Hank Told Him About It, Since He Received A Teasing Look. Sanford Just Thought Nothing Of It, And Wanted To See If Tricky Had Actually Changed Since Their Last Encounter With Him.

Once They Approached Tricky's Room, Or Area (Whatever You Would Call It), They Saw Signs Like 'Caution: Beware The Clown', And 'Do Not Enter Unless You Are Hank'. They Were Also Greeted By The Sound Of Someone Eating Something Viciously.

Looking From The Glass Window On The Wall, They Saw The Clown Filling His Face With All Different Kinds Of Food. He Stopped To Grab A Drink, But Got Distracted By Seeing Hank With Sanford And Deimos. Tricky Immediately Ran To The Glass And Smacked His Face Against It, Causing Ford And Dee To Jump Back.

Tricky Smiled In Delight After Seeing Deimos And Sanford For The First Time In A Long While. He Waved Through The Glass, Then Rushed To The Speaker. The Faint Sound Of Someone Yelling 'HAAANNK!' And 'VALID. FRIENDS' Could Be Heard Through The Speaker. The Door Suddenly Opened Slowly, The Smell Of All Kinds Of Foods Plus Blood Pouring Out Of The Opening And The Cracks. The Clown Immediately Jumped Out Of The Room, Startling The Trio.

Tricky: "SANFORD! HANK! DEIMOS! FRIENDS! VALID. YES."

Hank Actually Smiled Upon Tricky's Entrance, He Patted The Clown's Head Twice And Let The Other 2 Do The Same Thing After. They Talked About Everything That Happened, And Caught Up With Each Other. Jebus Entered The Room Half Way Through The Conversation And Joined In. They Chatted For Hours, Tricky Was The One To Point Out The Time To Everyone. Sanford Said That He And Deimos Had To Leave, As It Was Late (11:12 PM).

They Said Their Goodbyes Before Ford And Dee Headed Out. They Stayed Silent In The Car, Just Thinking About How Much The Others Have Changed. Tricky, Who Has Become More Friendly And Takes Baths. Hank, Who Is More Calm And 'Married To A Blender'. And Jebus, Who Has More Control And Is Starting To Learn Dad Jokes.

Deimos: "I Had Fun Chatting With Them After A While. I Just Wish Candice Was There With Us, I Miss Her."

Sanford: "...We Didn't Know A Candice."

Deimos, Grinning: "I Know Candice. I've Known Her For A While Now."

Sanford, Not Falling For It: "Good For You. Is She Nice?"

Deimos: "....Y-Yeah…...Although Her House Really Smells Like Updog. It's A Problem."

Sanford: "......Really?"

Deimos, Pushing The Joke: "Yes, Especially The Kitchen. It Really Reeks Of Updog. It's Disgusting, Bleck"

Sanford, Sighing And Smiling: "What Is Updog?"

Deimos, Giggling Like A Child: "Nahat Much Wh-"

Deimos Couldn't Finish His Sentence Because He Was Laughing. Sanford Just Snorted And Smiled, He Always Knew How He Could Get His Boyfriend Lost In Laughter. Even If A Joke Wasn't Really That Funny, Deimos Could Be Laughing For An Hour. He Absolutely Loves Jokes Of All Kinds And It Doesn't Matter Who Tells Them. By The Time They Arrived Home, Deimos Was Still Slightly Giggling And Wiping A Tear From His Eye.

Sanford Carried Deimos Into The House, As The Man In The Visor Finished His Giggling Fit. Ford Set His Boyfriend Onto The Couch And Started Getting Ready For Bed. He Left Dee Some Comfy Clothes To Slip Into For Bed. About A Couple Minutes Later They Both Were On The Couch In Pajamas (Or Just Clothes They Never Wear To Work).

Deimos: "Why Weren’t You Laughing At The Joke, Sanford?"

Sanford: "The Joke Wasn't That Funny, Deimos. You've Heard It Over One Hundred Times Already."

Deimos, Giggling Again: "But..It's Funny."

Sanford, Trying Not To Smile: "It-It's Really Not."

Deimos, Now Full On Laughing: "I- It Was Funny When Hank Fell For The Candice Joke." *He Smacked His Side While He Laughed* "It Hurt Like Hell, But It Was Worth It!"

Sanford, Smiling But Trying Hard Not To Laugh: "Oh Right I Forgot About That."

Sanford Then Let Deimos Cuddle Against Him As He Laughed Again. He Only Laughed Harder When Sanford Yelled, 'It's Not That Funny!'. Eventually, Ford Was Laughing As Well With His Boyfriend. They Laughed Until They Eventually Fell Asleep. Today Was A Good Day For Both Of Them, And They Were Happy They Could Spend It Together, Like Old Times.

[daisylincs]

Today is, officially, the last day of 2020 - so it's literally just in time that I'm getting to @aosrecweek's amazing challenge. But that does go to show the nature of this crazy year a little bit, right? Time has just been INSANE, and I honestly cannot believe it's so close to over.

That said, I want to put it out there that everyone - absolutely everyone - who created something in this mad year, is a SUPERHERO. Like. We could have hidden away in dark corners, curled into little balls, and lost touch with our creativity entirely - but instead, we made some of the most fantastic content I have ever seen. And, excuse the language, but that is fucking amazing, of each and every single one of us. We're bloody INCREDIBLE, you guys. We really are.

Now, the rules of this challenge dictate that I've got to start with some of my own things, then repeat with the same number of creations by other people. So I'm going to do that, and I apologise for the sheer length (and self-plug-iness) of what is about to follow - but, bloody incredible, remember? I really mean that. 💜💜💜

My Own:

you could call me babe for the weekend - 19k of Spideychelle being oblivious, mutually pining IDIOTS while being snowed in. And, you know, fake dating. (This thing was SO MUCH FUN to write and though, yeah, it got completely out of control, as evidenced by the 19k, I still really love it.)

'tis the damn season - my first attempt at writing a multi-chap, and, yeah, it only has one chapter as of now, but I really love said chapter. Basically, it's Daisy and Mackelena being friends, and honestly just the BEST friends - I adore the style I managed to achieve in this thing. Plus, the Skimmons I have planned up next is going to be da bomb.

the closest thing - Philindaisy plus fake family. Also; amusement parks. And for a fangirl like me - well, it was pretty much a dream come true to write!

oh valley of plenty - in this fic, I basically told myself, so AoS won't give us Huntingbird in the finale? Fine. I'll just do it myself then - in the fluffiest way possible. And that's exactly what I did - making them, and their kids, be best friends in Perthshire.

maybe life should be about more - a very angsty Skimmons and Daisy-centric AU, focusing on the internalised homophobia Daisy has experienced through her life, and shaking it off (and eventually, y'know, getting together with Jemma.)

and it's dark in a cold december (but i've got you to keep me warm) - Fitzsimmons just make such a supreme pairing for hurt/comfort, what with how insanely well they understand each other and care about each other, so I'm really glad for the Fitzsimmons Secret Santa giving me the chance to write this! Basically, this follows our science duo through a stressful mission on Christmas Eve (so yes, it's a mission fic!!) and realising that the two of them can do anything together.

july second - ahhh, one of my personal favourites to write! Daisy birthday surprise fluff will always be top-notch for me, especially for all the team-as-family fluff you can add in, especially especially that this is set in Staticquake times! Also, it's from Hunter's point of view, which will forever be the most insanely fun thing to write, I do think.

i just wanna be with you - man, I'm such a big royal fan, so getting the chance to write a modern royalty AU for my OTP was nothing short of amazing!! This is Princess Daisy and her fiancée Lincoln Campbell at their official engagement interview

see the line where the skye meets the sea - shameless season 1 bby Bus Kids fluff, featuring movie nights, singalongs and... so much fluff your teeth will rot. Also I'm really freaking proud of the pun in the title okay

'cause all that you are is all that i'll ever need - Huntingbird waking up together fluff (because, fight me, Huntingbird in their sweet moments is one of the sweetest things you will ever get to read or write.) This is also my, fluffy, take on the origin of the Franny's Saloon keychain.

we love you, we love you (and we hope you love we too) - aha, my first polyship fic! Also my first try at some actually fancy HTML formatting (forever thanks to Kat for explaining.) Both of these things combined to form a fic that even I think is ridiculously fluffy and funny, and kinda amazing, at that.

and man I don't know where the time goes (but it sure goes fast like that) - Another Bus Kids movie night fic, but this one set post-season 7, and reflecting on how far they've come. A little bit more hurt/comfort-y than it's pure fluff prequel, but still super fluffy and soft. And, of course, with a happy ending.

she shares my dreams, i hope that someday, i'll share her home - snowy Fitzsimmons fluff, complete with them falling in love at the Winter Olympics, as you do.

then you walked in and my heart went boom - 16k of Dekesy for the wife, and remarkable for that, because literally a month ago from this, I hated Dekesy with my entire soul. Then I started reading Kat's fics, and, well, fell in love with them... so much so that I wrote sixteen thousand words of enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, bed sharing holiday fluff for them.

a love like that - a Fitzsimmons Cinderella AU, featuring my two favourite science babies, in true science bby style, falling in love over science and how stupid the whole courting thing is. Also, Daisy makes a brief appearance, and she's the freaking best.

ever after - ah, probably the one single fic I'm proudest of. A post-season 7 Daisy character study focusing on her emotional rollercoaster re: losing her family/things never being the same again, which just achieves... an emotional level that I have never managed to replicate again. I was full-on sobbing while writing it, and, guys, it also part-holds the Closest To Making Kat Cry prize.

blue - Daisy character study spanning snapshots of seven seasons, and before - but tied together by something blue in every moment. Researching for this, and finding all the blue moments, was very interesting, and immensely satisfying, especially since all the moments where a little bit of blue was present actually combine to chronicle Daisy's journey on the show remarkably well.

who is that girl I see - the one time I decided to write straight angst, and straight angst with no happy ending. Melinda May post-Bahrain, folks.

take my hand, take my whole life too - aww, the first thing I wrote that I really and truly loved. A Staticquake and Fitzsimmons Actors AU, featuring a proposal on set and INCREDIBLE amounts of fluff and softness.

hold out your hand, 'cause friends will be friends - the wife's favourite, and, as second fics go, pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. It's a Soulmates AU for Staticquake and Mackelena, with the focus being on DaisyMack friendship, and lots of denial, angst, and guilt about finding their soulmates. (They figure it out eventually, don't worry - it's me, of course I made them happy.)

Fitzsimmons + Fake Dating moodboard - Fake dating will always be FAB, and picturing it out in a moodboard - especially for my clueless bby best friends in love - was the best, and super satisfying.

Staticquake + Orange moodboard - One of the cooler ideas I had for Trick or Treat (which I still have not finished, heaven help me) was to make a series of moodboards for my OTP plus different colours. This orange one is just so light, and cheerful, and happy, and honestly I kinda adore it.

This Philindaisy + Family Moodboard - making moodboards can be insanely frustrating when you just can't find the photo that fits exactly right. With this one, however, I found all the pics I needed pretty insanely fast, and, better, the whole thing just worked, and really nicely so, too.

This Bus Kids + Baking Cookies moodboard - there's absolutely NO faults to be found with tiny, adorable Skye, Fitz and Jemma concocting choc chip cookies - but I'm actually doing a tiny cheat here, because, cute as my moodboard here is, the accompanying fic by my love @eowima is the SWEETEST and best thing you could ever wish for!!!

This Daisy Johnson Appreciation Week Photoset - Day 3 of Daisy Johnson Appreciation Week focused on an emotion, and I picked confidence and power, because honestly, it's nothing short of amazing how confident and powerful our gorgeous girl has become.

This Daisy Johnson Appreciation Week Photoset - One of the times I wish I could gif, because this quote about struggling though never giving up just suits Daisy perfectly. The photos I found are cool, though, and I mean, it's Daisy, so that's already absolutely fabulous.

Other People's:

I managed to find twenty-six of my own things that I liked enough to put up there (because, yes, I'm that big a dork, 26 things for me being 26 is the way to go :D) Anyway, now that gives me the amazing chance to spotlight twenty-six of my favourite creations by my FANTASTIC mutuals! 😍

To start, my wife - Kat said I couldn't put everything she's ever written on here, so, ugh, I guess I'll just do my top five then. *grumbling* Everything by Kat is on here in spirit, though!!

Chasing Cars (even after the story ends) by @aleksandrachaev - the epic Dekesy roadtrip AU and incredible Daisy character study itself, which, I do believe, finishes today!! Words aren't enough to describe how freaking AMAZING this thing is, or how spectacularly well characterised. Just: if you haven't read this yet, you are missing out. You will laugh, you will groan, you will want to wrap Daisy in a very tight hug, and you will probably cry, too. This fic just has it all, really!

there goes the maddest man this town has ever seen by @aleksandrachaev - the post-season 7 Deke-crashes-the-Framework-Zoom-call fic I didn't know I needed (but spent the next two weeks rereading every single night.) It is absolutely INCREDIBLE, with all the Deke & Team feels we missed in the final outro scene, and honestly just the most fantastic writing. I cannot recommend it enough!

To Box It Up And Start Again (everything must go) by @aleksandrachaev - bloody hell, this BROKE me. Deke never really got to say goodbye in canon, but Kat gave him the chance to do it here. And, my freaking GOODNESS, she made it so incredibly bittersweet and heart-shattering. 10/10

i am a leaf on the wind by @aleksandrachaev - a little bit of a stretched-out, reflective moment in the season 7 finale. As Daisy lingers on the edge of death, she reflects on all the lives she could have had - and, man, what a study in bittersweetness!! This entire fic is utterly incredible, and something I think all Daisy fans should read.

Falling Into Place by @aleksandrachaev - here's a tiny cheat from me (sorry, babes, lmao) because technically this isn't one fic, but a series of three. Way too amazing to miss out on, though!! Set mid-season 7, this has the Chronicoms go after a young Mary Sue Poots to kill Quake before she can become a problem for them. They stop the Chronicoms, yes, but not without a TREMENDOUS dose of feels and hurt/comfort. There's also a wonderful little dose of Dekesy friendship, and then an adult adoption (!!) that honestly made my entire day to read. Actually, that's true for the entire series - I really canNOT yell about it enough!!

destroyer of worlds by @bobbimorseisbisexual - a study in incredible parallels between Jiaying's daughters. Utterly breathtakingly done, this will give you ALL the feels for this small and complex Inhuman family.

Muscle Memory by @robotgort and @bobbimorseisbisexual - a Huntingbird!! Bones!! AU!! And also a collaboration between two of the most fabulous Huntingbird authors in the fandom - honestly, what more can you ask for?! This will make you laugh, and gasp, and wince, and keep you guessing at each new plot twist (and also screaming at your screen for Hunter and Bobbi to get their acts together and TALK ABOUT IT.) In short: it's completely and utterly amazing, and I cannot, cannot recommend it enough!!

You Belong Among the Wildflowers by @libbyweasley - a freaking incredible Scis & Spies Regency AU! I only just started reading, but I was hooked all the way through, especially on the way Libby writes all four characters' complex relationships (and their attraction, and their history!) Everything about it is just completely stunning, and I for one cannot WAIT for these beautiful idiots to figure out they all belong together.

Family Snapshot by @tomatobookworm - if it's family fluff you're after, especially Staticquake family fluff, look no further! This tremendously soft and utterly amazing fic follows a day in the lives of a pregnant Daisy and her husband Lincoln, and their not-so-little family of Inhumans, both adopted and biological. There's also shopping with Grandma May, lots of feels, lots of shippiness, and just AMAZINGNESS all the way through!!

Best Day Ever by @loved-the-stars-too-fondly - Jemma and Daisy want to adopt a pet, and make a very special trip to Wisconsin to do it. Also, whether he knows who he is or not, Jemma has an important question to ask Cal - and just, AHHHH, everything about this is utterly stunning! For starters, Aubrey's writing is FANTASTIC, and the scene she sets is absolutely beautiful, and so very bittersweet. I was actually misting up a little with happy tears towards the end of this - really, I cannot recommend this enough, to any Skimmons fan.

so why don't we go somewhere only we know by @loved-the-stars-too-fondly - more Skimmons (platonic this time, though), more hurt/comfort, and, yes, again, more absolutely INCREDIBLE writing. This one is canon compliant, following a shaken Jemma struggling to sleep after Maveth, and how Daisy finds a way to help her out. Incredibly sweet, tender and BEAUTIFULLY written, this one was an instant favourite the moment I read it!

Unspoken by @anxiouslynumbme - a birthday fic for yours truly, and, honestly, one of the most STUNNING Staticquake introspectives I've read. It follows Daisy and Lincoln in a beautifully tender missing moment in season 3, with them both realising their feelings, and just... AHHHHHHHH, everything about it is utterly incredible!! I cannot, cannot recommend this gem of a fic enough

the thing about water droplets and ruffled hair by @que-mint-tea - here's another fic that proves, once and for all, how good Kat's Dekesy is, because it managed to convert T to write some Dekesy smut. And, oh my GOSH, what Dekesy smut - so goshdarn angsty, but so FANTASTICALLY characterised and written that it leaves you more than a little breathless, and gaping at your screen. The first chapter initially left us on the most HORRIFIC cliffhanger, but then T fixed it, and it's just... this thing is really a whole new level of emotional writing, raw and gripping and intensely perfect for both of these characters. My haw still drops whenever I think of this thing, and how utterly AMAZING it was, so yeah. Fic rec!!!

beautiful stranger, there you are by @justanalto - I do believe I still owe Serena a long and very gushy comment on this thing, because, MAN, does it ever deserve that!! Pipsy and fake dating, with the most HILARIOUSLY incredible writing, plot and characterisation, and honestly just a giddy "askhdfkhsfh" whenever I think back to how much I enjoyed it. Yup, it was that good.

Jumping to conclusions by @eowima - a very special one, because it marks my love Océane's first venture into writing AoS fic! It's an AU of 1x06 (the Fitzsimmons episode of s1) where Fitz does actually jump out of the plane to save Jemma. Realisations of feelings, and some of the most genuinely FANTASTIC Fitz characterisation I've read in a while, follow - and, yup, I was shouting at my screen for them just to get together already. Amazing stuff, really!!

Look into your eyes and the sky's the limit by @eowima - okay, this. This. Another gift for me, and one that I will probably treasure forEVER, because it is just?? so?? utterly?? perfect?? Just for starters, the title is a Hamilton reference - and then the theme of Hamilton references continues into the fic itself, I'm delighted to say. There's also the most BEAUTIFUL, playful Skimmons friendship, and teasing, and then of course the bet about who can make out with their crush first... Staticquake & Fitzsimmons perfection. And all rendered in Océane's delightful, best-thing-ever-to-read writing!! I'm going into a giddy keyboard smash just THINKING about this, so yeah, cannot recommend it enough.

lullabies and clear blue skies by @springmagpies and @bobbimorseisbisexual - okay, I never thought I'd catch myself shipping FitzBobbi, let alone shipping it this hard, but... wow. Maggie and Al teamed up to completely blow me away, and MELT MY WHOLE ENTIRE HEART with the sheer cuteness of this!! It features Fitz, Bobbi and adopting two daughters, and it's just the most tender, beautiful development through that little family - I love it so, so much.

We made all the wrong choices by @browneyedgenius - the winner of the AoS Angst War 2020, how could I not include this one? It is such a well-deserved win, though, whoa - I was sobbing, full-on sobbing, at least twice while reading. It follows the season 5 team through the events of the time-loop, after they failed to save the world - and, oh my gosh, it ripped my heart right out of my chest, but beautifully so. Everything about this fic just hits so hard, and it's written so well - yeah, really a most AMAZINGLY deserved win, for an utterly SHATTERINGLY incredible fic.

I threw stones at the stars (but the whole sky fell) by @nazezdha321 - this is Z showing us all how to write a backstory for a minor character, and write it so well that everyone's hearts break all over again when she dies. This one is about Victoria Hand, and it builds a stirring and profound childhood for her, also making her rise through the ranks of SHIELD and just her entire character mean so much more. Really, fic-wise, this is goals, and I take my hat off to you, Z, 1000%, for writing it.

in which the universe is put together by @besidemethewholedamntime - Rebecca's emotional writing, particularly Fitzsimmons' emotions, is incomparable, and she proves it all over again in this fic. If follows Fitz and Jemma before, after and during the bloodwork, and I just... wow, honestly. The emotion!! And the characterisation!! Absolutely stunning, and honestly all I could wish for in a we-had-time fic.

Agents of SHIELD Season 8 by @egumal - THIS. This, this, this, oh my gosh - as fix-it fics go, this has to be the most spectacular one I have ever read. What it does is find a way - a potentially canon compliant way, too - to bring back Lincoln Campbell, and reunite Staticquake. Basically: just about as season 7 finishes, the Astro Ambassadors get an unexpected visitor from another timeline, who asks them to come help out against Hive. Case in point, Daisy meets her lost love again (... but he has no idea who she is) and also has to relive the Fallen Agent drama. It all gets even more complicated when Kora restores Lincoln's memories, and Daisy meets the full team Deke has assembled around him in the 33 years (for him) that they've been apart... in short, this is one of the most thorough, well-written and downright SHOCKING plot-twist-wise fics that you will ever read, and honestly, saying "I can't recommend it enough" is an understatement. This thing is thd BEST, plain and simple!

Black Roses aren't real (but you and I are) by @ohwriteiforgot - ahhhh, a fic that will always have an incredibly special place in my heart, because it introduced me to one of my best fandom friends. The main focus is on Clintasha, it's true, but it's also a crossover with AoS in the sense that Clint was adopted by Coulson and May. Also, Daisy is his little sister, and their bond is gold. Also - there's Staticquake!! And flower shops!! And rivals to friends to lovers!! All I'm going to say is, what more can you ask for?!

A book to shield my story by @maybebrilliant - Staticquake High School AU, ahhhhhhhh!! There are only two chapters out so far, but the way this is shaping up is making my DAY - with Daisy as the new girl who meets Lincoln and his group of friends, and, though her foster parents are absolutely shit, starts to find actual happiness in a school for the first time in her life. Also - THE REFERENCES. Guys. I'm crazy for those, and in this book, so are my favourite dorks, Daisy and Lincoln - and let me tell you, it's nothing short of the best thing ever.

This AoS Finale Gif Edit by @heysteverogers - AoS really has been the most INCREDIBLE journey through the years, but what's really made it special is the company - and that's summed up perfectly in this gorgeous gifset. Also, the graphics on this are just, ahhhh, stunning - I'm in awe, and I've spent very long periods of time just looking at this thing in a state of heart-eyes.

This AoS Finale Gif Edit by @jemannesimms - combining Auld Lang Syne and the final scenes of my favourite show was a raw emotional - but utterly brilliant experience - for me. It's just so absolutely beautiful, and perfectly suited to the team, and their goodbyes!! Breathtaking editing work here, too.

This Daisy as Peter Parker and May as Tony Stark moodboard by @agentsofcomedyandchaos - ahhhh, a crossover of two of my favourite fandoms!! And what a lovely one, too - the colour scheme, quotes, and just the whole FEEL of this is absolutely genius, and I am guilty of being inspired by way too many fic ideas by it. Stunning stuff!!

And... whoa, that was long, but I really do feel that we deserve a bit of a proper pat on the back after creating such magical content in such a messed up year. So that's the note I'm going to leave you with for 2020, my friends: hell-year or no, look at the absolute beauty we were still able to create!! We really are freaking amazing, guys.

[kpop---scenarios]

Mated (2)

Read Part One 

Commissioned by: @knowexoknowlife

Warning: Some violence, Smut

Word Count: 6.1k

"Are you sleeping?" You whisper to Sehun, who had barely said ten words to you since this afternoon's discovery. 

"No." He whispers, still rolled onto his side not facing you. 

You weren't sure what you could do for him. It's not as though you had planned on having two mates, or like you wanted it. You would never purposely hurt Sehun, but sometimes things work out in a funny way. 

"I'm sorry.." you sniffle, unable to stop the tears from falling. 

"It's not your fault." Sehun sighs, still not facing you. You wished he would roll over and wrap his arms around you, tell you sweetly that he wasn't mad and it wasn't your fault, and mean it. 

Although he coldly said what you wished to hear, you could hear it in his voice that he wasn't convinced it wasn't your fault. 

"You don't sound overly convinced." You sigh, wiping away the tears. "I just want us to be okay." 

"Because I'm not convinced Y/N. Christ. What am I supposed to do? The girl I love and am meant to be with, is also meant to be with my fucking brother. None of this is okay, I'm not okay." He snaps, abruptly standing up and storming out of the room, making sure to not slam the door too hard. 

You crawl out of the bed, looking out the window you can see Sehun running through the field towards the forest, disappearing into the darkness of the trees. 

Now the tears really wouldn't stop. You slide down the wall, wrapping your arms around your knees as you lower your head and sob. 

Knock 

Knock

Your head raises at the sound of light knocking at your door. You quickly wipe your tears before standing up and walking to the door to open it. When you do, you're surprised to see a sympathetic Suho standing there, his head lowered, allowing his shaggy brown hair to fall around his face. 

"Are you okay?" He whispers, his voice lowered. 

"H-how.." you stutter before he cuts you off. 

"Wolves have impeccable hearing." He whispers, raising his head to look at you, his eyes filled with sadness. "Look, Sehun is the youngest, he still has a hard time digesting things, especially big things like this. Give him some time." He sighs. "I wish I could say that I would do anything to help, but I know he would ask me to step aside and I'm afraid I just can't do that." He says, looking you straight in the eyes. "There's something so special about you Y/N, and I refuse to give up without a fight, even if it's my own brother." 

Your breath hitches as you take in his words, your heart's pounding as Suho leans his face in closer to yours. "I'll do anything to win your heart." He finishes. He leans in closer, placing a small kiss on your lips before walking back to his room, while you suffer, wondering how you're ever going to make a choice. 

You fall asleep as you wait for Sehun to come back, all the crying you've done tiring you out beyond belief. 

For the next week you try to talk with Sehun, but he's either gone or ignores you. 

He'll talk to you when he's ready, you guessed. But as the week passed, you began to get increasingly more angry. You purposely avoided Suho to make sure you didn't offend Sehun anymore, but you honestly just wanted to spend some time with him. 

You couldn't. Not yet. Not until Sehun calmed down. When he showed no signs of stopping, you decided to stop pretending Suho didn't exist. You allow yourself to slowly begin to notice him more, and Sehun would just have to deal with it. 

** 

When you awake in the morning, you're greeted by a still empty bed, again, and a giant headache. You lay still for a few minutes contemplating what to do. Do you go downstairs and see if he's down there? Do you try to talk to him? Do you stay up here and wait for him? 

You decided to put on your big girl pants and head downstairs to find Sehun and talk to him. Enough was enough. The anxiety you felt in roaming through your entire body though was making you feel weak, but you couldn't be like this any longer. 

You hold onto the railing as you try to silently creep down the stairs, listening intently to the voices you hear in the living room and kitchen, trying to see if you can hear Sehun's. 

You can't. 

As you reach the bottom of the stairs, you're met with half smiles by Baekhyun and Yixing, Chanyeol only giving you a quick glance. This was embarrassing. 

"Have any of you seen Sehun?" You ask in a whisper. 

"I think he went on a run with Minseok." Baekhyun says, trying to give you a smile. 

You wished you could just speak with Sehun and get everything sorted out. If he wanted you to reject Suho.. would you be able too? You didn't know, and you didn't want to have to think about making that decision unless it was absolutely necessary, and right now it wasn't. 

"Y/N, may I speak with you?" Yixing asks, bringing you out of your thoughts. 

"Sure." You say, but before you're able to follow him the back door by the kitchen opens, revealing a sweating and shirtless Suho. Your breath hitches as your eyes slowly trail down from his face to his rock hard abs. "Shit." You whisper as you raise your eyes, locking in with his, unable to break the contact. 

"So it begins." You hear someone snap. Looking away from Suho, you catch the back of Sehun as he turns up the stairs, walking away from you.  

Looking back at Suho, you shoot him an apologetic smile before running after Sehun. You're not sure why you did it, you didn't truly owe Suho anything, but you felt like you did. Like everything you've given to Sehun, you should give to Suho too. 

"You're back.." you say, walking into the room you and Sehun are supposed to be sharing. 

"I am. Looks like you sure missed me." He snaps, putting a fresh shirt on. 

"I did, actually." You say, beginning to get annoyed. "I haven't seen you all week." 

"Oh yeah, it really looked like it. I apologize for interrupting your moment with Suho." He spits, turning to walk out the door. 

"Are you fucking serious right now?" You snap. Sehun stops in his tracks, turning his head slightly to look back at you. You stand there, your body full of rage as you cross your arms, waiting for him to answer. 

"What?" He asks. 

"I said, are you fucking serious? You're acting like a goddamn child." You yell. 

"I.." he begins before you cut him off. 

"Don't. It's my turn." You stop him. "I get you're upset, trying to wrap your head around this but you're not the only goddamn person struggling here. Did you stop to think about how I may be feeling this while you were throwing your bitch baby tantrum? How I might be handling this? Cause I'm not doing very fucking well, but I guess you wouldn't know because it's been the Sehun Show all fucking week." You yell. "I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to be something special like the Gemini Mate, but it's happened and now we need to figure it the fuck out. Either get on board, or back the fuck off. Your choice." You finish before storming out the room. You race down the stairs, passing the men who are standing there with their mouths hanging open, and storm towards the forest. 

"Fuck that guy." You growl, stomping your way through the woods. You couldn't believe that he was acting that way. It's not like you chose this to be your life. You didn't ever plan for this to happen, but like works in mysterious ways. 

After a while of walking, you finally sit down on a large log, taking a few deep breaths, breathing in the fresh air. It took you a few moments of looks around to realize that you had no idea where you were, or what direction you even came from. You tried thinking back to what you remembered seeing, but honestly you had been too mad to really focus on any of your surroundings, your mind had been cluttered with angry thoughts. 

"Shit." You whisper as you stand up, walking in the direction you hoped was towards the house. 

** 

"How long ago did she leave?" Suho snaps at Sehun.

"It's been a while." Sehun admits. "Like 3 hours." 

"And you've been in here, not doing a fucking thing? Why didn't you go after her!?" Suho yells. 

"I was pissed off! And so was she! I'm sure she just wanted some time." Sehun says. 

"It's getting dark now, and you know lone wolves like to prowl this forest. What the fuck are you going to do if one of them catches her?" Suho asks. His heart breaks slightly at the thought of you being taken or injured, he can't let that happen. 

Suho rushes out the back door, Sehun follows quickly behind him. 

"You stay here!" Suho yells.

"I can't. I can't let anything happen to her, I shouldn't have waited so long." Sehun admits. 

"Fine. Take the left side of the forest and I'll take the right." Suho says, running towards his side before his body tears apart and phases into his wolf form. 

** 

Your stomach drops as you continue to walk, seemingly deeper and deeper into the forest. You can hear the sounds of howling beneath the sounds of leaves crunching as you walk.  You're terrified as you heat the sounds of twigs snapping behind you, along with a low whine. 

You do your best to pick up your pace, but keep quiet at the same time, unfortunately the heavy breath behind you is coming up quickly. 

"Fuck fuck fuck." You whisper as you crouch behind a large log, hoping whatever was behind you will continue on its path and forget about you. 

You really hoped, but you weren't that lucky. 

As you sat there with your knees to your chest and your eyes squeezed tightly shut, you could feel the hot breath of something down your neck. Tears slowly fell as you continued to try and remain quiet, needing whatever this was to leave now. 

But it didn't. Instead you felt a clamp on your bun before you were being dragged from behind the log. You kicked and screamed, but nothing came of it. You opened your eyes as you lay on the forest floor and you're being hovered by a very large white wolf. 

You felt uneasy, so you knew this wasn't one of the wolves you had met with Sehun. It must be a lone wolf. You had heard stories about the lone wolves. Violent, angry, generally had zero regard for human life, mated or not. They would take you, keep you for as long as they felt, did whatever they wanted before killing you and disposing of you somewhere. You didn't want that. 

Despite you knowing all this information, it still didn't stop you from attempting to plead with him, in hopes that maybe, just maybe he had some shred of care left inside of him. 

That wasn't the case. 

"Please, please don't take me. I have two mates, which means twice the trouble for you. I'm not worth it, please." You beg. You didn't want to be taken by him. You could feel your heart breaking at the thought of leaving Suho and Sehun behind, never being able to touch Sehun again or loving him, never getting the chance to love Suho. This couldn't happen to you. 

The wolf snarled at you, saliva dripping from his snout as he snapped. 

"Please." You cry before he lunges for you, his teeth ripping into the flesh of your arm. You let out a loud shriek as his teeth sink further into you. 

Seconds later, you hear the sound of another body colliding and the relief of no more teeth in your arm. You hear fighting, turning your head you see the grey wolf snarling before taking a chunk out of the white wolf's back. The lone wolf runs off quickly, whimpering as he goes. You feel yourself fading in and out of consciousness as your almost lifeless body is being picked up, the chest of whoever helped you hot to the touch. 

"It's okay baby. I got you." Is all you hear, and Suho's face is all you see before you pass out in his arms as he runs you back to the house. 

** 

"What the hell happened!?" Yixing yells, as he swipes books and papers off the kitchen table. 

"A lone wolf got her." Suho huffs, running his hands through his hair. 

"You should wash up. Yixing's got this." Minseok reassures Suho. 

"No. I can't leave her! I just found her, I can't.. I just.." Suho breaks. He rushes around the table, grabbing onto your other hand, holding it tightly. 

"W-what.. what happened?" Sehun asks as he comes in the front door and sees you lying unconsciously on the table. 

"A lone wolf got to her!" Suho yells. "All because you've been too much of a fucking bitch about this situation. We're her mates. We're supposed to protect her! And because of you, I backed off to give you space, but christ, it's been a week and I'm done. She's my fucking mate too, and I refuse to let something like this to happen again because you can't accept it." He snaps. 

"I'm sorry.." Sehun whispers. He knew he fucked up when you had yelled at him. He wanted to apologize, but wanted to wait until you had returned and calmed down. And now that you were lying lifeless on the kitchen table, he knew he fucked up even worse. Every sense in his body had told him to go after you but he convinced himself he needed to give you time. He should have listened. 

"You're sorry?" Suho snaps, letting go of your hand to rush at Sehun, grabbing the collar of his shirt before slamming him against the wall. "Sorry isn't good enough. Stay away from her for a while. Figure out what you want, because I already know. I want her. I'll take all of her if you don't, so figure it out." Suho snaps,letting go of Sehun before walking back to you and grabbing onto your hand once again while Yixing stitches up your other arm. 

** 

Hours later, you startle awake, your arm in an immense amount of pain. "Oh my god." You cried, the wound burning. 

"Y/N?" You hear from the floor. "Are you okay?" Suho asks as he gets up from the floor, kneeling over the bed. 

"It hurts so bad." You cry, your hot tears running down your face. Your arm almost shakes it hurts so badly. 

"Here. Yixing said these will help." Suho says, placing some medication in your mouth before giving you some water to drink. 

"Thank you." You whisper, already feeling the effects of the medicine. "It works so fast.." you mumble, beginning to doze again. 

"It should, it's infused with a special witch herb." He smiles. "Do you need anything else?" Suho asks. 

"Cuddle me please." You shiver, your teeth chattering. 

Suho happily climbs into his bed and under the covers before wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you in closer to him. This is what he craved, what he needed. And now he finally had it. 

The next few days as you recovered, Sehun tried to come see you, but was turned away by Suho or by your voice telling him to go. You weren't ready to face him. You were enjoying your time with Suho and you really didn't want to argue with Sehun. 

** 

As the week came to an end, you decided to sit down with Suho and Sehun. As much as you wanted to continue in your bubble with Suho, you needed to set boundaries with them both and go over some guidelines. 

"I've called you both here today because it's time we had a chat." You begin. "Would either of you like to say anything?" You ask. 

"Me." Sehun says. You nod your head as a signal for him to go ahead. 

"I'm so sorry for the way I acted last week. It was immature and selfish, and it almost got you killed. I really hope you can forgive me." Sehun whispers, his eyes trained on the wooden floor. 

"Of course I do." You smile as he looks up at you. "But no more, please." 

"No more." He agrees. 

"Now.." you begin to set the rules between the three of you. "I'll spend 3 nights with each of you, it can be 3 nights in a row or switched off and on every night. Last night will be my decision. Either I will pick one of you to spend it with or I'll spend it by myself." You state. "Let's try to limit the jealousy, if we can. This won't be easy for any of us, but we really need to try." You smile. 

An hour later, you had finished with the two of them, setting up your rules and boundaries. You had really hoped that it would help ease the tension between the two men because you didn't know if you could take much more of their fighting. 

The first three nights you spent with Sehun, allowing him to properly make up with you for his mistakes.

The next night was your night with Suho, and you had been so desperately waiting for this night. You wanted to have a special night with him, since you had already had a few with Sehun and none with Suho. While he was gone, you slipped one of his t-shirts over your head and crawled into his bed, impatiently waiting for him to get home. 

You waited. And waited. And waited. The next thing you knew you woke up as the sun was beginning to rise and you felt Suho's strong arm wrapped around your waist. You could feel his large, hard cock poking into your ass, it made your pussy wet. You smirk as you wiggle your hips, grinding your ass against his cock. Suho moans in his sleep as he stretches, pushing his cock out further into your backside. You reach your hand behind you, grabbing onto his cock, gently pumping as you wait for him to wake up. 

"Fuck baby." He groans, moving his hand under your shirt and up your body to cup your breast. After he pinches your nipple, he brings his hand back down and in between your legs. 

“Mhm, no panties?” He groans, sitting up before placing his body over yours, hovering over you. "Naughty girl." He smiles as he moves down your body and in between your legs. 

Suho spreads your legs and then your lips with his fingers before leaning his head forward, licking a long strip up your already wet pussy. You arch your back with a gasp as your hands grip tightly onto the bed sheets. 

“You taste amazing” Suho murmurs before diving back in, sucking on your clit. Without taking his mouth away from your pussy, he drapes your legs over his shoulders as he buries his face further in between your legs. 

“Fuck” you gasp as he moves from sucking on your clit to flicking it with the tip of his tongue. He continues to work on your clit while slowly inserting his fingers inside you, pumping in and out, making sure to  build your orgasm up. Your hands pull at the bed sheets tighter, almost pulling them off the bed with each lick and suck until you’re almost at your peak.

“I’m going to cum” you cry out, your body twisting as your orgasm comes. 

Suho abruptly stops, removing his head from between your legs.

“First time you cum will be all over my cock” he growls, standing up to pull down his bottoms. You can hear the low whine and neediness come from inside as he yearns to be inside you. 

He pulls down his pyjama bottoms, throwing them off the bed and allowing his fully erect cock spring free. You gasp at the length and thickness of it, your mouth beginning to drool.

Suho kneels down before pulling you up to face him and then force you down on your front, but making sure your ass is up in the air.  He licks his fingers before inserting them inside of you, pumping to make sure you were wet enough for his cock. 

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He groans. "I love each and every curve on your body, fuck." 

Once he was satisfied, he took his fingers out, making you wait for a few seconds, torturing you. 

Without warning he thrusts himself into you fully, giving you no chance of adjusting to his size as he stretches you out completely.

“Oh my god” you scream as he pulls out before harshly thrusting himself back inside of you.

Soho’s hands grip you tightly, digging his hot fingertips into your hips as he fucks you, hard.

“Shit baby girl” he groans, continuing with his thrusts. “You’re so tight." 

“Your fucking pussy is amazing." He groans, thrusting faster. 

“Fuck me harder” you cry, wanting him to destroy you. 

“Yes baby. Now play with your clit” he demands.

You reach your hands in between your legs, rubbing the throbbing bud that so badly needed a release.

Your orgasm doesn’t take long to build up again, but it remains right on the brink of throwing you over the edge.

“Do you need to cum, my baby?” He groans into your ear.

“Yes, please” you cry.

“Okay baby, cum” he demands.

As soon as the words left his mouth, your orgasm rushes through your body, causing you to feel like you were going to collapse. Suho grips onto a clump of your hair, tightly as he rams his cock into you, eagerly chasing his own high.

Within seconds his orgasm explodes through him, shuddering as he releases his  hot cum inside of you, spreading it throughout. He let's go of your hair, and pulls himself out of you to help you lay down. Your body is weak, you're tired, barely able to keep your eyes open. 

Suho places a blanket over top of you as you drift back off to sleep, feeling happy as ever to have his mate. 

** 

A few hours later you wake up again, feeling sore but a little more rested and happy. For the first time in a long time you had felt like everything was going to be okay. You struggled as you got out of bed, heading to the door to go downstairs with just Suho's shirt on. 

Before you open the door, you see a note on the dresser addressed to you. 

My love, 

I had to go on a run with the boys, Sehun stayed behind and is waiting for you. I'll see you soon, I love you

- S

You couldn't stop the giant smile from spreading across your face as you read the note over a few more times. He loved you. And you loved him. Sehun loved you, and you loved him. It was nice being loved. 

You happily skip down the stairs, excited to spend some time with Sehun.

"There's my baby.." Sehun says, trailing off as he sniffs the air. 

"What?" You ask with a small chuckle. 

"You smell like his cum." He deadpans, his face no longer happy to see you. Now it's stone cold and angry. 

"I'm sorry.. I fell asleep right after." You whisper. You knew you shouldn't feel bad and he wasn't trying to make you feel bad, but you couldn't help it.

"I don't like it." He pouts. "We need to do something about that." He smirks, his tune changing within seconds. Sehun's cock twitches in his jeans as he thinks about fucking you in the living room, filling you up with his cum, having you smell like him rather than another man. 

"Oh?" You say before he rushes towards you, pressing his lips to yours harshly. 

"Turn around baby." Sehun says, unbuckling his belt buckle and slides his pants, along with his boxers down. 

You do as you're told, pressing your front against the wall and spreading your legs. 

“It'll be quick baby, don't want to get caught." he whispers in your ear, pumping himself a few times before lining himself up with you.  

You cry out and moan as Sehun stretches you out, your pussy still sore from earlier this morning. Your hands press against the wall so harshly your fingers are sore from the pressure. 

Sehun fully thrusts himself into you, grunting as he stretches you out. 

“Fuck your pussy is so tight” he groans, pulling out of you partially before slamming himself back into you. "You feel so good around my cock." 

“Oh my god." You cry out, your face presses against the wall as Sehun grips your waist to keep himself balanced while fucking you. 

He throws his head back as he thrusts himself into you, again and again. You can feel your wetness seeping out of you, mixing with Suho's cum and Sehun's pre-cum, coating his cock. Sehun continues to grunt as he rams his cock inside of you, hitting your G spot every time.

“Please don’t stop." you beg. 

"Rub your clit." Sehun demands. You reach down in between your thighs and rub yourself, seeking yet another orgasm. 

“Oh fuck" you cry out, sticking your ass out a little more. 

“I think I’m going to cum" you moan. “Shit" you cry out, your body begins to tremble as your orgasm washes through your body. Your eyes roll back as extremely loud moans leave your mouth.

“Fuck baby" Sehun moans, ramming himself into you, chasing his own high.

You begin to move yourself back, meeting his thrusts as you slightly bounce your ass. “Shit I’m going to cum" he cries out. He reaches around, wrapping his large hand around your neck as he cums inside of you.

"They're back." He grunts, pulling himself from inside you before pulling up his pants and adjusting himself. Your legs are wobbly as you try to stand, the mixture of 2 different mens cum leaking down your leg. 

Sehun walks to the kitchen, grabbing a cup of coffee, while you stand there unable to fully walk yet. 

"Hey baby.." Suho begins happily until he sees your state. "Are you kidding me?" He snaps at Sehun.  

"What?" He asks. 

"Look at her? What the fuck did you do?" Suho asks. 

"I didn't like her smelling like you." Sehun shrugs. 

"When the fuck are you going to grow up and just accept the fact that she loves me too? You can't do this to her, it can be too much. Christ." Suho yells, walking back to you. He picks you up, bringing you to the shower. 

Suho strips his shirt off you, helping you in the shower as your body still shakes. You weren't mad at Sehun, you could have said no but you didn't. You wanted him, but he wanted you for the wrong reasons. 

You weren't sure if you'd be able to do this whole two mate thing, not with how they had been acting. You couldn't imagine living your life this way, for the rest of your life. You wanted to enjoy your time, not feel like it constantly had to be a competition between the two of them. It was exhausting. 

After you were done in the shower with Suho, he dressed you in one of his shirts and tucked you into his bed. He quietly left you alone, but not before you made sure he wouldn't be too mad at his younger brother. You fell asleep relatively quickly. 

** 

You awoke a few hours later, and stayed in bed, thinking and contemplating about things, when you heard a knock at the door.

"Come in." You whispered. You were surprised to see Yixing standing in the doorway, a small smile on his face. "Hi Yixing." You say, confused. 

"Hi Y/N. Look, I'm sorry to come here like this but I can see you're having a hard time and I've been doing some research and well.. I've found something you might be interested in seeing." He says, placing a book on your lap. "The Zutar Coven, they have a spell for Gemini Mates." He whispers, making sure no one else was at the door. 

"What does it do?" You ask. 

"As far as I know, it destroys the connection between mates, burns it. So you're able to only have one or none if you want" he says. 

Destroy the connection? "Don't wolves die if their mate connections are destroyed?" You ask. 

"Sometimes, but not all the time. I just thought you'd like to know." He says. 

"Thanks Yixing, I appreciate it." You smile. You had quite a bit to think about. 

Over the next few days, Yixing's words flooded your mind. You couldn't stop thinking about the opportunity that had fallen in your lap. Although you had no idea who you would choose if it came down to it, it didn't hurt to speak with the witches and gather some Intel in case you had decided you wanted to break a connection. 

However, earlier in the day before the two of you were supposed to leave, you told Yixing you didn't want to go anymore. You had realized as much as you appreciated Yixing's efforts in trying to help, you wouldn't be able to choose. Yes they both may need to work on some things, but you did as well. You don't give up in a relationship when things get tough. You have to fight to make it work the way you all want it too and that's what the three of you needed to do. You all had things to change, but you wanted them both, forever. 

Yixing didn't like that. He insisted that talking to the witches would be good for you, and that you had to do it. He scared you enough in that moment you had agreed. 

You had only told one person where he was really taking you and that person was Baekhyun. Everyone else was under the impression Yixing was taking you out to get to know you better, including Suho and Sehun. 

**

As Baekhyun sat at the table with Suho and Sehun, the guilt about where you truly went began eating away at him. Hearing them talk about how much they loved you and wanted you, made him feel like a terrible brother. 

"I need to tell you something." Baekhyun huffed, slamming his hands down on the table. 

"What?" They both asked in unison. 

"Yixing didn't take her to bond. He took her to meet with the Zutar Coven to see about a connection breaking spell. She didn't want to go, he scared her but she thought it would be better to leave you two out of it." He yells, feeling relieved. 

Sehun and Suho bolt from the table, busting through the door and phasing to their wolf forms, both knowing very well exactly where the coven resided. 

**

"Yixing, I've changed my mind. I don't want to inquire about it. I want to stay with them both." You say, trying to get your arm out of Yixing's tight grip. 

"Not your choice anymore." He spits. "He took away my brothers. I take away his mate." He mutters.

"What are you talking about?" You ask, still trying to get free. 

"Just shut up." Yixing spits. 

In your head, you beg and plead, hoping that somehow Suho or Sehun will hear you and save you. 

** 

A few hours later, you're panicking while bound to a tree and Yixing is bargaining with the witches. They don't want to do the spell without your consent, but Yixing has no issues doing whatever he needs to do to get them to do what he wants. 

"I'll just fucking kill her then. How about that?" He snarls, stalking towards you, sharp teeth showing. 

"Fine!" One younger one yells. "We'll do it." She says. "Which one needs the connection burned?" 

"Suho." Yixing snaps. 

"Why would you burn my connection, Yixing?" Suho asks, walking into the clearing with Sehun beside him. Instantly, you feel relieved. 

"You know why!" Yixing yells. "You took my sweet Lexie away from me! And now I finally have a chance to burn your connection. Why wouldn't I?" He yells. 

"I didn't take her away, Kris did. She was a wolf hunter Yixing, she was going to kill us all." Suho yells. 

"No she wouldn't have. She loved me. And now I hope you'll rot watching the love of your life be happy with another man for as long as you live." Yixing growls. "Do it." He snaps at the witches. 

No one moves. 

"I said now!" Yixing yells. 

"It won't happen, Yixing. Enough. I warned you about doing this shit. I told you I can't have someone in my pack who betrays his brothers. I won't do it, no matter who it is." Suho snarls. 

"Ha, so what? You're kicking me out?" Yixing laughs. 

"I am." Suho deadpans. "You can either leave now and take on being a Lone Wolf far from here, or Ill kill you, and I will kill you, Yixing, you don't fuck with what's mine. Your choice." 

"I'll be seeing you." Yixing says, giving you a wink before disappearing into the forest. You knew in your gut this wouldn't be the last time you would run in with Yixing, but for now you were happy to be free. 

** 

On your way home with the two men you loved so much, you had reassured Sehun that you weren't going to leave him, despite his jealousy issues and you still loved him. You had spent a bit more time with him since it was your night with Suho again tonight but Sehun had always been that little bit of extra needy when it came to you. 

That night as you lay in bed with Suho, your head on his chest, he sighs as he contemplates asking you a question. He's unsure if he wants to ask, knowing he might not like the answer you give him. 

"Baby.." he begins. 

"Mhm?" You respond, your eyes closed. 

"If you had picked someone to burn the connection with.. who would it have been?" He asks. 

You lay there for a second, quietly which makes Suho feel as though you're finding a polite way to say it was him. 

"Honestly?" You ask. 

"Yes." He says. 

"I don't think I would have been able to choose. You both have things I would change and things that I wouldn't.  But i don't think I could live without either of you." You smile. 

Suho isn't sure about your answer, ever since he was little he's been fighting for attention and trying to be the best he could be without it ever going anywhere. He always seemed never good enough, never measuring up to his brother who would have made a better alpha, according to his father. He knew you deserved better than him, and Sehun would probably be the one who you would have chosen, but he's selfish. He needed you like he needed to breathe, so he would push himself to be the man you deserve even if it killed him, because you were worth it. 

** 

The next morning you watched Suho as he watched you running around the yard with Sehun. You can see on his face he's not alright, regardless if  he tells you he's fine, you know better. You can see the look of regret, or maybe sadness in his wistful smile. Something that in the future, would reside permanently.

Later on, you sat at the kitchen table with Sehun and Suho, laughing at a lame joke Sehun had told. As you looked at your two mates, you couldn't hold back your smile. Regardless of the rough times the three of you had, you knew there would be good ones right around the corner and with that you knew you all could get through anything. You finally felt complete now that you were mated, if only that feeling would have lasted forever. 

[tylerwritez]

OKAY ANWYAYS its 10:57 p.m. Wednesday June 23

I'm gonna start writing my entry now so that later I'm not too exhausted to actually TALK about stuff.

Yesterday Bee gave me a link to watch Supernatural on my computer so later tonight I probably will.

I'm in class right now, we just had a test on evolution (boring) and I studied some of the book State And Revolution by Lenin (I also took notes) (he's 100 percent correct by the way)

I just had a wonderful discussion with my friend on Instagram XD it was kinda funny. I dont have much else to say Yet. I'm having a coffee and listening to Samaris

I guess that will be my song recommendation for today since I'm listening to it right now XD

Also my parents said yes to letting me go to Jay's house to watch Insidious after school, I just gotta be back for supper! I'm excited abt that... cos he is actually like. The best. So in honour of that or whatever I'm giving yall TWO song recs today... also I dont think I gave one yesterday so here is Jay's fave song XD we gave different taste you'll notice,,, if you pay attention to the stuff I reccomend

Like he listens to old stuff XD he liked this weezer song from my playlist so you get the vibes. WEEZER IS GOOD THO omg thank u K (I'm just gonna call him K) for recommending me weezer! I knew a radiohead fan would give me good music lol.

Actually I talked to K a while ago and told him about how insanely transgender the song Bodysnatchers is and he was like wow so true so I figured I'd tell yall to listen to this if ur trans because like I know everyone's got a #different experience but for me I was like holy Shit this is so trans

Anwyays idk it makes more sense if u listen to the LYRICS.

Please I'm supposed to talk about my DAY now we are onto music oh well I guess it happens sometimes plus I'm bored I hate bio class

Okay so now we have come to the thesis that kinks are contagious wow fun times in the insta chat XD

It's now 4:16 p.m. I'm back from school! Turns out I couldn't go over to Jay's cos he has work :( which made me a bit sad BUT IT'S OKAY! We can always hang out another time you know?

I'm just studying right now for my final exam... TOMMOROW

Update: 8:15 p.m.

I'm out biking. We've mildly vandalized a school, I'll attach images after I remove the exit data... it probably doesnt count as VANDALISM tho like it can easily be washed off.

My sister made some new friends her age and whatnot. Idk, just regular stuff.

Update: 10:43 p.m. I was frustrated while studying because some of the questions are stupid and I'm stupid and I cant remember TWO ENTIRE UNITS so that's fun. I got really upset. Idk.

Also Star is kinda being bitchy. Like, I know shes upset cos I dont give her enoguh attention but like... do YOU give me attention? Like, shes always so mean out of the blue, even if I try to be nice or if I'm BUSY AND NOT IGNROING HER, BUT BUSY... and it puts me off and it makes me not wanna talk to her like what's the point in saying "hey how was ur day?" If shes gonna act like a bitch to me :| I just dont understand like if she wants soemthing she should say it outright and PUT SOME EFFORT in jesus christ.

Sorry. I dont hate her and I'm not mad at her, I'm just fed up! I'm tired!!! Okay??? Am I not allowed to be exhausted sometimes?

Whatever. I mean at least I got to drink monster.

I gotta start dieting again cos I'm gaining weight :( and its upsetting me

Anyways this whole thing with Jay and Star is kinda confusing and dramatic and I'm kinda tired idk. Its MY OWN FAULT but I just want to be able to. Idk. Not hurt anyone. Whatever. It's too late now and it's not really worth trying anymore.

I hope Jay doesn't just totally ditch me when he goes to college... :( I would be so sad... it's a good thing I can spam his number and insta XD

Wish me luck on my final exam. I need it.

And if anyone knows any good ways to avoid cutting myself, TELL ME!!! Because DAMN I really want to go spend all my money on a four dollar knife/steal a knife then SLICE MYSELF UP. SO BAD. jesus.

I think I should just die I'm actually a horrible person.

Update: its 11:22 p.m. and my parents are FUCKING ARGUING AGAIN JESUS CHRIST JUST FUCKING DIVORCE ALREADY. I wish my lil sister didn't have to hear this shit... oh well. I'm already a shitty influence anyways so I guess it doesn't matter.

... have you ever seen your parents CRY? Because I have. And jesus christ it's the actual worst thing ever. Especially if you're young. Especially if it's YOUR fault... Especially if it's over shit you could barely even comprehend because of your age. Money. Shit like that. They LOOK at you with this expression, like a fucking wounded animal. It's the expression of someone just totally fucking defeated. The expression of soemone who is frightened. And its fucking scary, especially when it's your fault.

My mom does this every time she sees I've cut myself again. I hate it. Makes me wanna cut more because STOP IT. she always looks dESTROYED. It's the worst.

Sometimes they argue and fight and shit and they yell at you yell at you Yell at you scare you into submission and fuck having angry parents is terrifying because they're suppsoed to protect you and be understanding and gentle with you, the child, the cattle of the shepard, the egg of the black goat... ESPEICALLY WHEN YOU ARE IN PAIN. Every time you cry they get angrier and angrier, every time you wear what u wanna wear they get angrier and angrier, every time you are ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT THEY WISH YOU WERE... they get angry. You start to feel like maybe they dont ACTUALLY love you. There is a disconnect between what you need and what you are given. What you see in media and what you see at home. You start to feel like shit.

Eventually you learn that if you dont want the head of your favourite stuffed animal twisted off or your sisters barbie doll thrown out the window in a moving car or to be verbally insulted or to have them do SCARY things like make moves toward you before they remember they aren't suppsoed to hit you and just punishment that's emotionally fucking damaging all those words that you remember years later but they don't, every time they tell you they wish you were dead.... you gotta be quiet. Shut up. Do as you're told and don't say a fucking WORD. good boy. Upset? Don't tell them. Don't cry in front of them. Say nothing. Maintain the illusion, it'll keep you safe.

Soon enough your entire life is a secret and you need therapy but can't get it and wow, I wonder why I'm like this? I fucking wonder.

They aren't even arguing anymore but I wish they would shut up because I dont wanna hear their voices its making me ANXIOUS...

Sometimes I feel like I never got to develop past a certain point in childhood. Maybe 5, 10, 3, 6, I dont fucking know. Over 2 and under 10. Like my brain is emotionally stuck there and all of my behaviour is stuck there too. Sometimes if shit hurts me in ANY WAY I just sorta allow the bad hurt to happen. I tell myself, endure. Stay quiet, don't say a word. I've trained myself this way and now it's hard to learn to be loud and talk to people and be my own self without being scared. And part of this... is why I appreciate my friends and JAY. Jay, who always makes sure I'm okay. And everyone I know who likes to drop into my messages every once in a while to see how I'm doing... everyone who never forgets about me.

I'm actually so fucking appreciative of all my friends.

I don't know. I just... wish it was easier to sort out my shit but I guess not

Update: it's now 3:09 a.m. and I'm so fucking tired but whatever. I talked to Jay and it's hard to say much because I'm so tired but FUCK I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM JESUS CHRIST IM IN LOVE?!?!?!!! goddamnit it I just wanna be with him constantly...

Also I told him I was worried and he said, with his cute fucking voice, that I shouldnt worry cos he wouldnt just leave me. And. ThaNK YOU JAY. IF YOURE READING THIS, THANK YOU. Sometimes I get this dude's messages and just fucking smile. Hes the best and I love him. His whole self is a thing of beauty that I admire so much hes so charismatic and attractive and CUTE and I always tell him he's overconfident but MAN if i was that guy I'd be such a douchebag from confidence... dont tell him that though, xD like man I'm trying my best but at this point I wouldnt know what to fucking do if he went away. Like I'd cry so much.... I hope he doesnt move on from me too quick.

I'm so. I feel happy. Because I'm looking at everything and I feel so happy I'll cry and so sad I'll laugh. It's like being in a shitty coming of age movie where they play pop punk and the main character has his moment with the hot girl at the school dance or whatever bullshit. I feel like that. But its also like that same main character in his late forties stumbling upon an old photo of him and his highschool girlfriend and killing himself from love.

Here's what I'm listening to now... this plus a bunch of nostlagia inducing songs earlier... I just. Memories. So many. I almsot want to cry. Like. Look at them. Hold them in your hands as if they're these lovely little stones you found on the ground and put in your pockets cos they had cool stripes. Feel their WEIGHT. It's one of those things where it's so happy it's sad. It's so sad its happy. You're laughing and crying all at once and all you want is a hug. Because you can FEEL the human parts of you coming out, seeping out like a styro, starts off white then... blood. Humanity. I am vulnerable and exposed and I leave myself here.

HAN LEID, HAN LEID, HAN LEID,... han varr.

He walked, he walked, he walked,... he became.

I guess I'm still walking. But jesus christ. People affect me so much. So much. These memories, how it was cold or sunset or hot outside or nighttime and dark, how we were there as humans. I'd never be happier than in those little moments but you don't see it until years later. You don't see how important it was until you think of it and cry... fucking hell. Nils, Mark, Gabe, Max, James, Kyle, Liz,, every friend I've ever had. Nothing is better than music and memories because jesus christ I would've loved to have... died.

Died? No. My brain does this thing... I dont mean died. I guess I mean I wouldve liked to be frozen in those moments.

Sometimes I get a similar feeling. It's not the same, but its similar. This thing where you are so happy and grateful and sad because this is a tragedy and wow look. A happy moment in a tragedy. But jesus its happy enough and I want to cry because I really do appreciate the people who's lives cross paths with mine. I cry because I think of every little moment in which I knew that I wasnt alone and every little moment in which I felt their SOUL with mine and every little moment where my heart was touched... even unintentionally and in ways that dont make sense.

There was a girl, I'll call her Jade, I came out to her before anyone else. And sometimes, in the back of my head, I play that moment. In my mind. It was over fucking Skype. But I still felt it.

Oh man... I should proabably tell my coming out story. The story of how I came out to my parents. I was scared. I really was... but I felt like if I couldn't be ME, I couldn't live, or at least I didn't want to.

This was the song I played as I wrote a letter at... around this time actually, 3 or 4 am

I wrote it so spontaneously. I didn't even THKNK. I just wrote it. Because I was tired of crying myself to sleep every night and well... I had camp the next morning. That gave them a solid week or so to think about my letter... that would ensure they would be able to cool off whatever anger it would make them feel.

I wrote on one sheet of sketchbook paper front and back. I tried my best to explain. I tried my best. And that paper is stained with tears and still rests in my moms sock drawer

The whole thing got complicated after that... but in the end it worked out, with a lot of fucking work and persistence on my part.

Soemtimes I hope they look at it and cry themselves like how I did writing it.

Sometimes I just wish things were different. But they're not. I gotta deal with this.

But hey! Hey! We were happy earlier. Because... I dont kNow. I love everyone and I love the planet and i never want anyone to have to be hurt. Okay??? I love. Everyone.

Its hyperbole but still. I just want the best for everyone and I hate when other people are suffering cos it makes me upset. And. I don't know. I feel so... emotional right now. Like right now? I just want to hug everyone. And tell them that I'm here. And that it's okay. Look at me, dude! Look at me. I fucking made it... kinda. You can too! If you're reading this and you feel like shit... pull through. Please. I believe you can. I love you ANF I care about you and if you ever need help, message me.

Whatever I just. I dont know. I feel all like I just want everyone to be happy and at peace.... because I remember SO MUCH and all of it is making me cry a lot because I'm full of love okay? Like. I just care about people. I had to say goodbye to all of them but I don't fucking forget. I NEVER FORGET. It's a curse and... right now? The saddest blessing ever.

I had to say goodbye... yknow, I've never been good at goodbyes. I hope I don't have to say goodbye to Jay for a while. A long time. And when we do... I hope I can listen to his song and think of him and pull out every memory as perfectly as I can for everyone else. I just. I don't know. I see all these people in my mind, in flashes and it all comes flooding back to me. That isnt just a face. That was my friend and now they're gone. That was my friend and now? Not a word from them... that was my best friend and now its awkward. I don't want that anymore.. its painful. All of these people that have forgotten me years ago... who I still remember. Ouch. I dont know. I think I'm being dramatic because tlaking to Jay and being sleep deprived made me all mushy and then I listened to music. So.

Music makes everything feel so much more consuming but I cant live without it.

I dont even know

I'm just happy that I get to experience love.

Even if in the very end I am left alone... even if I'm tormented with memories of a happiness that can only be temporary,,,

I still appreciate it all and I'm full of love and appreciation I'm happy and i want to say THANK YOU to everyone

Signing off at 3:50 a.m,

Jude Shepard

[atinyidea]

The Ache Of A Broken Heart | Ateez Song Mingi

⟶ requested by @un-kpop-ular! thank you for the request lovely!

⟶ highschool!au, bestfriends!au, female!reader, named!reader, hanahaki!au

⟶ angst prompt: “it hurts”

⟶ 3133 words!

edit: hi so it's been a couple years and I've realised how genuinely arophobic this kind of au is and I just want to say that while I'm not deleting it (it was a request) I'm not supporting it and will not write anything like a hanahaki au again. Please do some research if you're confused and I apologize to those who mightve felt hurt reading this oneshot.

"I don't understand why you haven't just told him?"

"Well it's not like me telling him will make anything stop. And there's the potential that I'll lose him completely if I tell him. It's not that simple."

"It can be! You tell Mingi you love him and then he can accept that love you back and you stop coughing up fucking flower petals."

"San!" She whined, lifting her head from its resting place on the toilet seat. "I can't force him to love me back! Besides he already has a girlfriend. I'll get over it sooner or later."

"Is later is when you die choking up a whole bunch of flowers?"

"I'm not going to die!"

"You threw up a whole flower just three minutes ago! You're getting worse! I know you." San paused, gently petting her head. "I know how much you let yourself fall into your feelings. You're sensitive, Jiyeon, you always have been. It's not going away."

"I'll make it go away." She whispered, biting her lip and avoiding his gaze. San simply huffed, pulling you into his chest and just held her for a while, rubbing circles into her back.

Choi Jiyeon was many different things to Choi San but the main fact was that she was his cousin. His only cousin. His father was her father's brother and the two only children became as close as siblings due to the fact they shared the same house.

Jiyeon and San were the same age, born a month apart because their mothers planned it. They grew up in a big house with a big garden. They had loving, caring parents and an extremely fortunate wealth and upbringing.

They went to a public school, making plenty of their own friends but somehow they always managed to converge groups to make one big friend group. And, in that friend group just happened to be Song Mingi.

Now, Jiyeon would have to admit, Mingi was, in fact, San's friend first. However, soon after meeting Jiyeon and Mingi were quick to become best friends. Jiyeon would be lying if she didn't say that, besides San, Mingi knew her best. Mingi was the first to tell her everything, the first to include her in events and jokes. He told her everything and in turn, she'd tell him everything too.

Well, except for one small thing.

Choi Jiyeon was completely in love with Song Mingi. And he didn't love her back.

Jiyeon never used to believe in the Hanahaki Disease until the petals started making their way down her throat. She thought it was a myth grandmother would tell to wain children off of loving recklessly. Her own grandmother would tell Jiyeon stories of the girls she used to know. Of how the would give their heart to anyone who'd take it and in return were given flowers. Only when she was a little older did her grandmother tell her that the gifted flowers were actually a curse in the body. Flowers that would come from nowhere and choke one out until one found themselves throwing the petals up. Jiyeon had never taken her grandmother seriously.

Maybe she should have.

She hadn't even noticed she had begun to love Mingi when the first petal arrived. She had been asleep when it did and woke up to a petal laying on her tongue. Having gone to a house party the night before, getting quite drunk by the amount of pain her head was in, she took no notice. She had, unfortunately, woken up with worse things in her mouth before.

The first time she actually threw up a petal, she and San were having their annual weekend movie marathon. In the middle of the fourth film — Star Wars: A New Hope — Jiyeon suddenly hunched over, grabbing both her throat and her tummy. After what felt like hours to her, which in reality was only five minutes of San freaking out behind her, she finally coughed up the petals that had bloomed in her tummy. Both Choi's sat in silence when she had finished, simply staring at the white petals that were stained red. Jiyeon only realised they were stained red with blood after San had handed her a napkin to wipe her mouth and it too came away red.

"What was that?" San asked, both of them now slumped on the floor on their knees, the television in the background now being nothing more than white noise.

"I don't really know."

"How can you not know?"

"Well, it's never happened before!"

After a beat of silence, San spoke up once again, his voice only hairs above a whisper. "It's like that old story grandma used to tell us, don't you think?"

"The story about the women who would die throwing up flowers when the person they loved never loved them back?"

"Yeah."

"That was an old wives tale San! A myth! A story to teach children to be mindful of who they give their heart to."

"Well, how else do you explain what just happened to you?"

His question had her stumped. How could she explain what just happened? The feeling of something unnatural climbing up her oesophagus, catching in her throat and choking her until she coughed it out covered in blood was not something that could be explained away or turned a blind eye too. There was blood. Bloody flower petals. That came from inside of her. And it hurt. It hurt so much.

"But that tale was about someone who loved another who couldn't love them back. I'm not in love with anyone, San." She avoided his gaze. "It's probably something I ate that didn't agree with me. That's all." She dismissed.

San sighed and she heard it. He sighed because Jiyeon had never been about to lie to him — or to anyone for that matter.

"Ji..." San trailed off. "You can tell me."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"Is it one of our friends?"

"Is what one of our friends?" Jiyeon feigned ignorance, still not looking up to match her cousin's gaze.

"The person you love," San whispered, manoeuvring from kneeling to sitting, shifting slightly closer to the girl.

"Who says I love anyone?" Jiyeon whispered, finally turning her head to face San.

"Because I think we both already know who you love." San smiled sadly, gently bringing the girl into his arms. He rocked them back and forth gently, trying to create an atmosphere in which Jiyeon felt safe enough to speak her truths.

She rested her head against her cousin's collar. "Are you mad at me?"

San shook his head, even though she couldn't see him. "No. Why would I be?"

"Because..." She looked up, "Mingi's your best friend."

San chuckled. "You can't even lie to yourself. Mingi's your best friend. Sure, he's my good friend but you know things about him he'd never think to tell me." His smile widened a little, lifting a hand to ruffle her hair.

Jiyeon sighed, closing her eyes. "Okay. Maybe I'm in love with Mingi."

"Maybe?"

"I don't know!"

"Jiyeon."

"It's not like it matters anyway. He won't love me back that's why I'm throwing up petals or something." Jiyeon's eyes flew back open.

"Grandma always said didn't... not wouldn't or couldn't." San reminded her gently. "There's still a chance. You just have to tell him."

Jiyeon sighed, her head thumping back into his chest. "Fine." She breathed out, her throat finally numbing. "I'll tell him next time I see him."

The conversation the two had the next time Jiyeon saw Mingi however, was not the conversation she had in mind. He had grabbed her in the middle of the hallway, minutes before the bell for the first period, his handsome face graced with the bright grin only Mingi could create. It sent a flutter of butterflies through her tummy. Before she could get a word in he had already told her his news. The smile on her face had frozen, to the point where she began to panic he's see through the fake happiness she exuded.

"Haneul said yes! She said she'd be my girlfriend!"

Panic froze Jiyeon to her spot. How could she forget about Haneul? The pretty girl Mingi had the biggest crush on. He had spent hours telling Jiyeon all about her. How kind she was. How pretty she was. The way her voice sounded when she spoke to him — "like bells... or the sound of a thousand angels humming!" — and about the way she spoke to him. He told her about how Haneul was smart, how she helped him with all the things he struggled with academically — as if the study sessions he spent with Jiyeon did nothing for him.

Jiyeon had always felt funny when he would talk about Haneul. She hadn't realised the feeling was jealousy until she stopped telling herself she didn't love him.

Haneul was perfect for him; just the right height, just the right build, just the right personality. How could Jiyeon ever be seen as more than just his best friend when someone like Haneul was interested in him?

"That's great! I'm proud of you!" The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. The way his grin beamed brighter tore a rip through her heart and something built up in the pit of her stomach. The bell rang a second later and the two made their separate ways for their first lessons.

Jiyeon couldn't concentrate that entire day. Not many people seemed to notice her out-of-it daze apart from San, who looked at her with silent worry as their group sat together at lunch. Haneul has joined them, sitting close to Mingi's right side, answering the questions their friends had for her with a sweet smile.

Why was there nothing wrong with her?

Jiyeon couldn't blame her though. It wasn't Haneul's fault Jiyeon had fallen in love with her best friend. It wasn't Haneul's fault Jiyeon's body had decided it would take out its heartbreak on her, breaking her down piece by piece until her insides crumbled into torn up petals.

That had been sixth months ago.

Sixth months strong were Haneul and Mingi.

Jiyeon thought that it would get better. That the ache in her chest would dissipate now that Mingi was in fact taken by one of the sweetest people Jiyeon had ever met.

“Why don’t you, you know, date someone? Get your feelings under your own control.” San has said one day during a particularly harsh day, your entire bathroom floor covered in blue petals and sickly red blood after a couple hours of coughing and spluttering. You had given him an exhausted glare.

“It wouldn’t be fair to the other person. How would I explain this? ‘Oh, sorry about the mess! My body is just displaying its heartache outwardly because I love someone, who’s not you, by the way, that doesn’t love me back.’ Yeah, that’d go down a treat.”

San rolled his eyes at her, letting go of the hair he had held out of her face. “I’m just saying. It might be a way to get over it. To get over him. To get your health back?” He pressed gently. It didn’t take much to know that San was worried. Jiyeon had lost a noticeable amount of weight, not being able to keep much of anything down — especially after being around Mingi. She had become quiet, one might say reserved, which was unlike the person she was a couple of years ago who was never without a smile or a laugh.

She felt defeated. “I don’t want anyone else to feel like this. It hurts, so much,” She swallowed. “Every time I throw up those flowers it feels like my heart is being smashed with a steel hammer. Or as if it was made out of paper and each petal was just another rip in the fragility of a water soaked piece of paper. It’s dark. It’s a disgusting feeling and I never want anyone to feel it, ever.”

San’s head cocked to the side, his eyes dropping with worry. “You’re dying, Ji,” He whispered. He took one of her hands in his. “Just try it. Please.” He begged.

Jiyeon bit her lip. It would be too arrogant to assume someone would fall in love with her so easily, wouldn’t it? She could let herself be involved with someone else, couldn’t she? She could get over the dark could that surround her heart, right? She nodded, “Alright.”

So San sent her on a date. Ironically enough, another of their friends, Jeong Yunho, had been interested in Jiyeon for a little while. When San has brought up his little conundrum — “I need someone to set Jiyeon up with but every one I can come up with are all dicks” — Yunho has jumped (literally) at the opportunity.

The date was fun. It was exciting. They had met at a restaurant, exchanging shy smiles and small hellos before ditching the restaurant — it was only San who made the reservation anyway — and spent the night just together, deciding on what to do by playing small games of rock-paper-scissors. Jiyeon found herself smiling, laughing for the first time in a long time. She had temporarily forgotten all about Mingi and the pain that would wrack her body almost every other night. They went to an arcade, playing on different games for a few hours, playing around with one another and cumulating enough tickets to get two matching teddy bears. They took a walk through a park, stopping to play on the playground apparatus and unlocking their inner children with small games like who could get the highest on the swings or who could stay upright the longest on the merry-go-round. They found themselves sitting in a booth at McDonald’s, grinning and sharing embarrassing stories about themselves and their friends — mainly San — while sharing two big boxes of chicken nuggets.

Jiyeon felt guilty when she got home, saying goodnight to Yunho and finding herself texting Mingi all about it. She felt guilty when she realised why she was so adamant for Mingi to know. She wanted him to feel jealous. And she felt horrible when he simply congratulated her and offered to go on double dates in the future, her bedroom floor covered in a smattering of red petals after she broke down in tears.

Yunho was kind. His smile was sweet and his words were sweeter. They went on multiple dates and Jiyeon could feel herself getting lighter. The petal attacks slowed down but, they still happened.

Yunho was kind but Jiyeon was scared. On their last date, he walked her home, their hands laced together as they walked under the stars in the night sky. Jiyeon had told him early on in their relationship that she was sorry they had to go slow. She hadn’t given him a solid reason for her need to go slow and he hadn’t pushed her for an answer, but she knew deep down she’d always be scared to take the next step with him, or anyone for that matter. At her door — one that was unlocked because San just knew she’d forget her keys — Yunho had taken her face in his hands and kissed her. Truth be told, she had enjoyed it. His lips were soft and he bent down enough to brush her lips before straightening up slightly, causing Jiyeon to follow him to a height her tippy toes would allow. However, when she opened her eyes the face of her unrequited lover stared back at her and her smile dropped.

Blinking away the image of Mingi’s face she was greeted with the worried eyes of Yunho. “I’m sorry if that was too fast.” He whispered, eyes dropping to the floor. A familiar feeling twanged across her body as her heart sunk, once again, in guilt.

“You have to go.” Her voice was low. She could feel the familiar sensation arise in the back of her throat and she, under no circumstances, never wanted Yunho — happy, kind, sweet, loving Yunho — too see her like that.

He stuttered and she felt worse. “I- I'm sorry. Just give me another date. I don’t want to stop seeing you.” He cupped her face again, tilting her head up so their gazes could meet.

She needed him to leave.

“You have to go.” She repeated, gently stepping out of his hold. She went to speak again but her words were caught in her throat as she coughed harshly. When she pulled her hand away from her lips, looking between Yunho and the bloody white petal in her hand, tears had already sprung to her eyes. She didn’t give him any explanation before turning on her heel, barrelling through the door to find the nearest bathroom.

She could hear him chasing after her, the sinking feeling of guilt consuming her for how much he cared for someone who was caught up with a boy who couldn’t love her back. She retched into the bowl of the toilet, multicoloured petals falling from her lips in encased in the sickening sound of blood being spat from her mouth.

Yunho was kind. He bent down next to her and held her hair from her face. He rubbed circles into her back, his soft voice falling into a quiet song. When Jiyeon had finished her attack her body wracked itself in sobs instead. She felt horrible inside and out.

“I’m so sorry.” She wailed.

He didn’t respond, stopping his soft singing.

“It hurts so much!” She sobbed, not lifting her head to face him. “I am truly sorry.”

After a while, her sobs lessened and the two sat in silence.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Yunho finally replied, tilting her head to face him again. “I’m sorry you have to go through this,” He whispered. He raised a thumb and wiped at the side of her mouth, watching as the blood there transferred from her lips to his thumb. “I’m sorry you think you’re going through it alone.”

She looked at him, concentrating. Then, her insides froze again. Her tear ducts overflowed again once she realised just what he was talking about. Her one wish had been destroyed. Someone else was feeling what it felt like to be broken. And it was her fault.

She feared she wouldn’t be able to love anyone other than Mingi. She feared that Yunho loving her would kill him inside as loving Mingi did to her.

But in the end, Choi Jiyeon loved Song Mingi, even though they were young, even though he was taken, even though he was just her best friend.

She’d die loving Song Mingi, and in the end, she did.

[kassverse2eletricboogaloo]

The Battle For Subcon Ch 1

(This is my first AHIT Fanfiction! So far i'm having a lot of fun writing again. As it's been awhile. I hope I'm doing well with it! And look, I did that fanfiction idea! Oh! And that cover art is mine!)

Chapter 1: Vacation time!

Hat Kid swiveled in her little chair. Scanning the galaxy. It's barren expanse sneering back. When she was younger her dreams consisted of only the hope to see the stars. She didn't ever think of what would happen when she got there. But she never imagined it like this. It never seemed good enough. Hat Kid deeply longed for some change.

There was no fun among the stars. Sure, it was pretty. Many people would dream of seeing it for themselves (just like she had herself), but now this was a daily occurrence. Like waiting for ages to see a movie, loving it, and then not wanting to see it again. There was not going to be any surprises. You'd know what was about to happen. It was always going to be that way. Nothing ever changed in the movie. A set pathway, much like fate and time.

She didn't realize how much she needed that mafia to break open her window. She had really needed the thrill. It had been 6 whole months since that happened. 4 and a half since she was last on the planet when dealing with the Nyakuza. Which she still regarded as one of her most exciting adventures.

At this point she felt terrible for not returning. She didn't even bother to visit! Who did that!? Her bestest best friends where down there. She didn't even send a card! Space mail existed, though she didn't think the planet had a proper postal code. But even if! She usually went by the planet! How could one day really put her off schedule? Did the job or schedule mean that much?! Hat Kid sighed after her little rant. They may have tried to kill her at one point, but that's what friends do!

She wasn't without reason though. Hat Kid did have a job to do. As a professional space explorer, her job was to visit the outer rim and find new life. After mapping and exploring a few planets, she'd return with her data and relics and then head back to where she left off. . . Which always would go by the plant. Aug!

But this time was different! Hat Kid was on vacation! She could actually go and have fun again! And oh boy did she know where she'd go! Hat Kid pressed a few buttons on her control panel and set the coordinates.

"MAFIA TOWN HERE I COME!" The excited child shouted with glee.

This would be the best vacation yet! She was sure of it! Arepping the ship, Hat Kid pushed it into fill throtal. The engine humming as it blasted into hyper speed. The little alien smiled and jumped off her captians chair. Running to the telescope she used when she first went to Mafia Town. Adrenaline rushing at the thought of seeing everyone again.

Finally! After three whole hours of bouncing up and down, coming up with things to do, and thinking of what she'd say as an apology for her unceremonious departure , the ship halted. It was finally time! Hat Kid pounced at the telescope. So excited she hit her head by accident. HK stumbled and rubbed the spot where it hit her. Quite mad that she couldn't hold in her energy. The alien teleported down to the planet. Down to exactly where she first arrived on the planet. The streets of Mafia Town!

The kids nose picked up on the scent of warm garbage. Jeez, they never cleaned did they? Not only that, she caught dirt on her shirt! C'mon! She'd have to clean that later. Hat Kid acrually forgot how gross this place could be. The small child jogged into town. Desperate to get out of that alley way and to the slightly cleaner street.

She saw Mafia going about their days as usual. A few waving to her as she passed. One offering a game of patty cake. Though Hat Kid wasn't falling for that again! Another Mafia with funny sunglasses was freaking out after the sudden appearance of her space ship.

"Oi, what are YOU doing back here?" Stammered a voice from above. A hint of annoyance in its tone.

Hat Kid smiled. A girl in a read hood lept down from her perch. Standing in front of Hat Kid, the girl looked a bit upset. Super tired too, it seemed. Bags forming under her eyes.

"Did I miss much?" The little hatted child asked in concern. Her "friend", Mustache Girl, wasn't as happy as she hoped.

"Oh a fair bit! You missed everything!" The mustached menace cried "That blasted Mafia Boss disappeared! And the Mafia are growing in numbers! Yet somehow there even better at thwarting me!" Mustache Girl's temper and frustration flaring. Her voice speeding up into a ramble. It was Hat Kid's fault she didn't stop all the bad guys!

Somehow the Mafia where getting MORE coordinated. And less would dissappear when visiting other places on the planet! Mustache Girl couldn't help but wonder what they where doing. They weren't even doing anything differently! They hadn't been getting any smarter. Was she doing something wrong? This little hatted hourglass hoarder probably knew everything!

"It's not like you helped! You where probably in on it weren't you?! You barely help with anything!!" Mustache Girl shouted.

That was a tad hurtful for the first few minutes back, Hat Kid thought.

"Is Cooking Cat still around?" She pondered.

"Who?" Mustache Girl asked quizzically.

"I guess not." HK responded, not worried. "I'll see you later friend!" She beamed. Getting a grunt in response. With that, she teleported back to base.

Though confused, Hat Kid wasn't very scared. Weirder things could have happen. The Mafia Boss was still in a jar, and for all anyone knew he was only misplaced. So it's not like she had much to worry about. Even if he had somehow found a way to "fix the Mafia". She also wasn't worried for Cooking Cat. Who's cooking know how could probably end entire wars!

Hat Kid ran to the Machine Room next. Missing the rumbustious Conductor and the quixotic DJ! She was sure they'd miss her too. They always seemed to like having her around, even if The Conductor tried to stab her. Maybe they would allow her to star in movies again! Readying her trusty telescope, she was off once more. To DEAD BIRD STUDIOS!

(Sorry I didn't write longer! I'll get to the story's true plot soon enough! I'm quite insecure about my writing abilities. So if you see anything I did wrong and didn't pick up on, I strongly recommend you mention it. It'd be a great help! Anyway, have a good day!)

[soldierallen]

Married. 6

Warnings: crying, arguing, few curse words, asking for sex?.

Featuring: Sebastian Stan, Henry Cavill, Anthony Mackie, Chris Evans, Alexandra Daddario.

A/N: thanks for all the love and support I really appreciate this and all the love that has been giving over these weeks also something funny Henry cavill is coming out with a new movie his costar...? Alexandra Daddario! We love that for us I actually really love Alexandra Daddario and she's SUCH A villain in this series but hey you have to have one

Part 5:

÷

As he got into the car and drove like a mad man he was so angry he wanted nothing more than to break her heart like she broke his fiancé he felt he couldn't take it anymore when He got there and had to walk up that flight of stairs...

○○○○○○○

"Did you have to get an apartment with stairs and also live three stories up" Sebastian said holding a box filled with books/magiznes

"Listen asshole, it's a cheap rent and I don't have a lot of money, Daddy's trustfund doesn't exist for me like it did for you" she rolled her eyes at him

"Okay listen that's absolutely not my fault my step father is loaded I'm his only son" Sebastian said with a smirk on his lips he eyed y/n up and down from behind her

"You're an asshole" Henry said right behind seb with a box in his hands

"I totally agree Seb shut up" Anthony said holding a box and it sorta falling he quickly grabbed it

"Anthony do not drop that box sebastian's mothers vase is in it" she said everyone rolled their eyes they hated that ugly vase but it symbolized "purity & forgiveness"

"Chris" she yelled out as everyone walked up the stairs not hearing Chris or seeing him

"Yeah I'm getting tired" he yelled, they finally got to the last three steps into her apartment

"I hate these damn steps, how long have you been living here" Sebastian said putting the box down in her place taking the back of his hand and wiping his forehead like a jerk.

"Its been 20 minutes you asshole" she laughed, he pulled her in them facing each other both out of breath "You're always here for me I can't deny how grateful I am for all four of you" she said trying to catch her breath from the stairs "whenever you need me, I'll be there I promise." He said with a light in his eyes.

○○○○○○○○

"Sebastian" Y/n said she wasn't prepared for him to be in her home in the first place.

"You've got some nerve" he was pulled out of his memories, not even realizing he knocked on her door

"What?" Her voice got high not excepting those words to come out his mouth he welcomed himself in being angry he didn't want to be but he was.

"You threatened her that you were going to ruin the wedding because you're in love with me" he said using his arms to get his point across he was mad in the car however He never wanted to ruin things between them.

She was flabbergasted, the words he spoke took her by such surprise she actually took a step backwards, he knew her feelings and didn't even care to talk about them to?

"Do you really-" her words not coming out properly "what did she say to you?" She closed the door to her apartment turning around and facing her

"You're not coming to the wedding because you're going to ruin the wedding! You're going to throw away our friendship because of your feelings?" He yelled getting angrier by the seconds

"Hold on you're gonna throw all of this on me that it's my fault?" She yelled loudly her apartment walls felt like they were shaking

"Since the beginning i knew you hated her I didn't know why until now...you're just a selfish little cry baby that can't take rejection" he never wanted to show her this side of him, his anger was pouring out of his ears his face turning different colors as he spoke, her heart was demolished at this point.

"I can take rejection, but I bet you can't take not being good enough because guess what your "wife" cheated on you, and she has been for months" her words steadily coming out like knives she didn't know she had it in her to be this devious keeping these lies for so long.

"She'd never do that to me you're a liar" not excepting those words to come out her mouth, his face soften trying to understand

"for months she's been leaving your HOME to cheat on you with another man how does that feel" she said feeling the heat rise in her entire body

His thoughts were racing

"No you're lying stop you're just trying to break us apart" He said his anger flooded his mind once again she handed him the check that was already in her pocket she pulled out her cellphone as well

"She gave this to me to stop talking to you, she threaten my job, our relationship" he sat down them both next to each other as he read the check, his eyes he felt were deceiving him

he insisted she was lying "No this is fake you're a lunatic!"

"Her "cousin" "Peter" is actually a man named Robbie she stood at Henry's hotel to stay with him for the night, she got caught and came home that night because of us" she said her voice not raised anymore they didn't look at each other they looked Straight ahead at a blank tv

"I have proof of all of it, I have witnesses I wasn't going to tell you if I didn't know and than yesterday I got her confession, Sebastian you can't marry her I forbid it"

"Let me hear it" he stared blankly with no emotion showing he took his leather jacket off, getting himself ready

"Sebastian take precaution before you liste-"

"Let me hear it"

She turned on her phone unlocking it going into her apps and pressing play

"Tell me one thing, why are you leading him on like this why are you... destroying him like this Sebastian could have such a full life"

"It's like playing with toys, you have the one toy you love bring it everywhere with you show it off it means the world to you without it you don't know what would happen, but then you come home and you see that one doll you bought awhile ago it's not the prettiest in the bunch, if anyone knew you liked the old doll better they would call you a hoarder you don't want to be a hoarder so you throw everything out and only have the nice pretty thing in front of you but right behind your closet door sits the doll you've loved your entire life"

His head spinned he wasn't sure how to take this, he felt his chest closing in on him she put her hand on his bicep "seb please" she begged for him to let out his thoughts he stood up quickly

"do you realize what's going to happen to me" He said she sat still looking up at him as he freaked out

"I bought a house with this women, i-i spent thousands of dollars on a wedding I still am in love with her I came here to stop you...not to stop my own marriage" he felt like he was going to be sick.

"And you're still going to marry her..." She stood in silence awaiting his reply.

"Do I have another choice" he said, he felt the blood in his vains run cold.

"Yes Sebastian you do have a choice! you can't marry her you can't do this to yourself and to me" she was going to cry she felt that ball in her throat it was going to happen soon

"I can't stop now, too much time money and sweat went into this I can't just give up" His words were final. he felt like he was going to cry as he put back his jacket

"If you marry her Sebastian, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you... after all this time and you still haven't seen what she is I showed you so much evidence and its STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH I'm never good enough for you" she was crying, and he tried so hard not to but a few tears landed on his shirt

"I don't wanna lose you you're a part of me; you're good enough you're best women I've ever met in my life" he said he felt like he was losing a piece of his personality, his life. Her

"Than don't marry her, we'll figure it out we'll fix this seb" she cried wiping her tears "we can't fix it" he cried "something broken can always be fixed" her words came out, he nodded his head he turned around and walked out the door shutting behind him she threw the pillow that was in her arms length at the door tears poured out of her eyes she was so mad and angry she didn't know what to do with it she laid on her floor in a ball crying for hours, her thoughts in her mind was only

Why doesn't he love me? Why am I not good enough? He knows she's a cheater and he's still going to marry her?, more questions and what if's sat in her mind making her cry that night she cried herself, that night Sebastian screamed and yelled at the top of his lungs crying out all of his frustration on the hill he fell in love with y/n at, no other person would ever compare to her he thought why am I still going through with this? What is wrong with Me? He cried and cried trying to figure out why he was like this he texted his friends telling them everything that happened.

-

Today had made 2 days until the wedding, her friendship with Sebastian no longer existed, it was 12pm she woke up in tears once again she hated everything wanted to see nobody, "why am I not good enough for him"

"Y/n open the door" Henry said knocking loudly she laid on her floor still from the night before crying

"I am here to so is Chris" Anthony said he let out a breath ready to talk to his best friend about his other best friend who is a fucking jerk.

"I don't wanna see anyone please go home to your families and leave me alone" she said muffled in a pillow as her crying made her face swollen, her eyes throb & body weak.. it's never been like this before heartbreak as never felt like this before.

"I don't have anyone you're my family, you know that sweetheart we love you please open the door" Henry said in his sweetest voice, Henry knew her weakspots

"I hate you for making me feel bad when I already feel bad" her face was squished up against her pillow on the carpeted floor fully clothed from the night before shoes and everything

"Open the door" Chris said she got up and unlocked the door the three men walking in her body shaking as she made her way back into her positioned

them three always made themselves at home at her place

Chris turned on the tv and sat next to her Anthony went to the bathroom and Henry fixed himself a bowl of cereal

she laid her face into the carpet instead of the pillow from previously, her body curled into a ball she's never felt like this she started crying again "Downey wants to see me at the office tonight but I have absolutely no strength to get up or be a human" she cries her breathing not catching up with her cries

"Hey" Chris said rubbing her back "I can't breathe I feel like I can't breath" she said "I know" he said Anthony came out the bathroom and sat next to her as well she put her head in his lap

"Anthony, what am I gonna do" he pushed the hair out of her face she sniffles looking up at him "What we always do Get through it, We love you he chose to marry her and ruin your friendship he's an asshole who doesn't deserve you" he said Henry and Chris nodding along to what Anthony said

"You deserve friends who are going to be there for you through thick and thin we'll always be here for you no matter what"

"Henry you had that date" she realized getting up half way "I cancelled" "and Chris you had the wedding arrangements with jen" "pushed it back" "Anthony the game" "over early"

"You didn't have to-" Henry put his finger on his lips for her to be quiet she rolled her eyes at him still tears falling rapidly she couldn't stop crying

"We're always going to come, you introduced me to my wife she knows Jennie knows you and whoever Henry gets married to in the future is going to have to deal with you too, you're a part of us our sister always" Anthony said

"don't give up on us" Chris patted her leg for reassurance "I'm sorry" she apologized for crying

"Hey you haven't had a good breakdown in a while" Chris laughed she tried to smile through the tears she sat upwards not laying on Anthony, Henry finally done with his food he came in the living room, sitting on the floor with us "I have a meeting with Downey at 5"

"I'll help you get ready later like old times, seven hours until than relax okay" Henry said kissing her temple trying to soothe her as much as he could

"I love you guys" she sniffles making Henry give the softest smile he put his head on her shoulder "we love you" Chris said rubbing her back still

They all sat together for one hour not one word spoken watching episodes of friends not saying a word to each other Henry ordered Chinese and everyone mostly ate in silence except for a small debate about football coming in contact for a few minutes, she just watched them she knew nothing about sports not because nobody would teach her she just wasn't into it, she sat and realized to herself this is my family I wouldn't be in this place this life without them and the influence they've brought in my life

She got up and cleaned whatever mess was made taking a shower and got ready for a meeting with Downey Henry helping her guiding her along the way he sa outside the door waiting for her "hurry up" he knocked on the door knowing if she stayed any longer she'd start thinking about him

"You're all welcome to stay as long as you want" she put a key on the coffee table "lock my door" she hugged the men they hugged back "watch yourself pay attention to the road no texting and text me when you get there so I know you're okay" Henry said letting go of his hug shoving his hands in his pockets

"Of course, don't buy porn on my cable" the boys laughed at her joke walking out

Maybe she wasn't going to be a mess anymore he was finally out of her life, no more arguing or being a shoulder to cry on, however her feelings were never gonna go away she's never been in tremendous love before she looks at him she gets butterflies when she touches his hand she feels sparks. Why couldn't it be her.

She got into her car, she sat there crying.. why do men treat me like this? Am I just a pawn in their games or what?

'

Sebastian woke up in his bed next to the women he was marrying in two days he wanted nothing from her or her anymore, he knew the truth she was cheater a liar

"Why are you staring at me" she said with her eyes closed

"Just admiring what a manipulative person you are" were the words he wanted so badly to come out his mouth but the real words were "just admiring your beauty that's all" he fake smiled and she opened her eyes kissing his lips he didn't recopcaite

"Seb is there something..wrong?" She paused

"No everything's great just.. fine" he got up to go to the bathroom when she pulled him back "come on let's break in this new bed" she snuggled into his arm "I'm really not in the mood for that"

"Oh come on seb please"

"I said no" he gently took her hand off his arm and went into the bathroom, he wanted nothing to do with her why is continuing to do this to himself??

Tagged: @hiddlestonstansworld @lovely-geek @imcalledflorence @misz-adrii @escapistdreamer-wishfulthinker @someplxce @cuddlesforlashton @coffeebooksandfandom @weasley16 @ilovethewayyourheartbeats @vogueworthy-barnes @xeniarocks @thisismysecrethappyplace @racheo91

[acoustic-accompaniment]

Just so you know, I'm still mad at all the shit you out me through and I don't think I'll ever be over it. After telling people the stories of all the stuff you put me through I've concluded that you've been nothing but trash to me and holding a red hot iron once a day for a month would leave less scars that the entire time I've known you has.

Talking to others who've known you also gave me a lot of insight to how you've treated me and how I've been nothing but a toy for your personal abuse. It's funny how you've been through so much and took it all out on the people around you. I can't say for sure that I had it the worst, but I've got quite a hunch that you took out most of your anger and hate out on me.

The sad thing is, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be in such a good situation. The people around me saw that I was hurting from you when I couldn't and they brought me to a place where I can stand on my own. For the first time in a long time I've been able to actually say I'm happy. I've got a good job with a potential promotion and decent pay raise soon, along with a loving girlfriend who doesn't get mad at me or threaten suicide when I'm having a bad day, and three wonderful dogs who are the most adorable pups I've ever seen.

I'm glad I'm without you in my life. I never thought I'd be able to say that. I never thought I'd be able to say that you're gone and not feel guilty about it. I'm glad you're not pushing your life in my hands just to keep me around. I'm glad that you're no longer a large source of my panic attacks or depressive episodes. I still have them mind you, but they're no longer about if I can keep you alive for one more day or if you'll kill yourself and blame me for it.

I'm no longer the fool I once was. Abuse may have caused me to stay, but support brought me out of it. Until the day you stop threatening others with your life, blaming them for having lives of their own, trying to push your own sexual and emotional desires on those who don't want them, untill that day I shall never forgive you. And even when you do, I'll never forget these scars you left on me.

The biggest one was you pretending to be dead. I cried for the entire week I found out. I blamed myself for it. I told myself it's because I wasn't around or that I talked about myself too much. I eventually saw you posting on here and found out that you were alive through other people. Eventually you replied to my messages and I was both relieved and pissed.

I blamed myself for your death and you just let me believe you were dead. An entire week it took you to reply to daily messages about how I'm so sorry. I was in mourning and you just let me believe it until you decided you were done with your fun. You decided that normal conversation would be the best way to respond to all of my "I'm sorry" messages. All of my "This is my fault" bullshit.

There's so many people I wish I could warn, but I don't know who will even interact with you. Fuck, I only found out about half the shit you've done to other people because of a small friend group we had and someone who knew of your shittiness from passing by other people who've met you. When you've started to develop a name as the abusive one or the person who threatens others in order to keep them around, it's no wonder there's multiple people who dislike you.

Ugh, I'm so sick of being mad at you but I can't help it. You stole so much of my time away. So much time I could've spent getting better as a person. Time I could've used on my family, my friends, or even doing the things I love. I prevented myself from going out with my family on multiple occasions because you were saying you'd die if I went.

I honestly hope you rot. After putting my life aside for you on multiple occasions, after putting my passions on hold because you wanted me to be around but weren't interesting enough to be a fucking friend, and after basing half of my fucking life plans around saving you in some God forsaken way, you never returned any sort of favors.

You tried to send me nudes despite me never asking. You got pissed and threatened suicide if I didn't go along with your shitty roleplay sex bullshit. You even said you'd kill yourself if I didn't want to marry you. I put up with all of it because I thought I saw potential in your future. Turns out you were just using me for some bullshit selfish means. Fuck you.