#i deserved a 0 out of 250

[moonlightpirate]

I swear I'm glad this semester is over this professor was the worst I've ever had

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

Hey, what do you think about this one:

https://khanbika.tumblr.com/post/693576051182419968/unpopular-opinion-but-i-genuinely-dont

It's short, so I'll post it for everyone else to see:

Unpopular opinion, but I genuinely don't understand the "Men are inherently privileged in this society". Like, who's the first to die in wars? Who's always expected to sacrifice themselves and not expect any help? Who's seen as inherently dangerous and violent and thus experience police bias? Who's sexual violence victims are always overlooked and hardly every get any justice? Who's expected to be feminist for equal rights BUT pay for the woman they're not even dating yet? Ik last one isn't a huge deal, I'm saying that it's about always placing the financial burden on a man as if a woman is his child or something.

You may go on about how these issues are invented by men, but if you're a man or society forces you to be one, it doesn't help you anyhow or chanhe the situation. You have to sacrifice yourself, you have to go to the army, you will be ignored as a sa or violence victim. You can be a dead ass 'smash the patriarchy' dude but this won't save you from all of these issues. So where is the inherent privilege? I agree that male privileges do exist, but there are also disadvantages and pretty serious ones. How the fuck are we supposed to ignore all this?

-  Like, who's the first to die in wars?

Let us by way of conclusion repeat the two major findings. The first is the fact that in ongoing wars which occur most often in developing countries, men die more frequently than women in direct armed conflicts, while more women than men die in post-conflict situations of the indirect causes of war. The other finding is the fact that we in general know very little about the conflict related mortality of both women and men in contemporary wars. Both findings hamper policy planning for military and humanitarian assistance. We have no good data on the causes of death in modern wars. Are male casualties a result of deadly wounds or of the lack of medical care or of other war related diseases? What are the causes of female deaths in post-conflict situations?

There really isn’t a good source out there that specifically says who dies more. The numbers you see are just totals of everyone who died. 

https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.613.9724&rep=rep1&type=pdf

-  Who's always expected to sacrifice themselves and not expect any help?

As a society, we tend to not care as much when it comes to the well being of men. We see what women go through as more tragic and more deserving of attention and resources when we should be paying attention to both. This is what is referred to as male disposability. 

For example, cancer. 

The 2nd deadliest cancer for women is breast cancer. The 2nd for men is prostate cancer. 

nearly 10,000 men in the United States are diagnosed with testicular cancer each year. But you wouldn’t know it, from the cancer research funding. The National Cancer Institute spends twice as much funding research on breast cancer than it does on prostate cancer; the National Institutes of health spends almost three times more ($700 million, to prostate cancer’s $250 million).

It’s just in the US that prostate cancer gets lesser funding. The UK only has £12m that goes towards it while breast cancer gets £23m. 

Oftentimes when you hear about cancer and you hear about fundraisers and such, it’s about breast cancer. Shining a light on it isn’t a bad thing, but we shouldn’t overlook what prostate cancer does to men. 

ttps://www.cancerresearchuk.org/funding-for-researchers/facts-and-figures-about-our-research-funding-0

https://www.fatherly.com/health-science/prostate-cancer-research-funding-breast-cancer

Another example is homelessness. In Portland Oregon back in 2015, Mayor  Charlie Hales said  he wants to declare a housing emergency next month with the hope of providing shelter for all homeless women by year's end.

At that time, the percentage of adult women who were homeless was 30% while 58% of adult men were homeless. 

https://www.portlandoregon.gov/toolkit/article/562207

https://www.oregonlive.com/portland/2015/09/portland_housing_emergency_to.html#:~:text=Portland%20Mayor%20Charlie%20Hales%20on%20Wednesday%20said%20he,homeless%20women%20by%20the%20end%20of%20the%20year.

-  Who's sexual violence victims are always overlooked and hardly every get any justice?

Oftentimes, this goes unreported and not taken into account. That’s why we see low numbers. There’s this huge stigma that both men and women (some, not all of course) are at fault for. It’s seen as offensive to some that you would even mention it because they think it happens so little and your focus should be on the female victims. 

Human trafficking is one such example. 

Now, mounting evidence, along with the accounts of front-line psychologists and social workers, show that men and boys make up a significant proportion of victims of trafficking, validating Procopio's realization. A report by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime in 2012 estimated that men accounted for 25 percent of trafficking victims globally. Further, the Global Report on Trafficking in Persons estimated that 27 percent of all victims detected globally were children and that of those, one in three victims were boys.

In addition, staff at the National Human Trafficking Resource Center hotline identified more than 24,000 cases of human trafficking in the United States from 2012 to September 2016. Of those, 13 percent—or more than 3,000—were men.

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/04/sex-trafficking

Internationally, there has been a greater response to male victims of sex trafficking, especially in Asia and the Middle East where the crime is much more rampant. Service providers in the UAE recently opened the first center for male victims of human trafficking in Abu Dhabi and anti-trafficking organizations focusing solely on men such as Urban Light are common in Southeast Asia. In general, there are more foreign organizations working with male victims of sex trafficking because of the high rates of HIV / AIDS in Asia and the global south. Treatment for HIV / AIDS is often part of the rehabilitation and recovery services offered for male victims of sex trafficking. Even in developed countries, there has been a concern for male victims of sex trafficking. For example, in the United Kingdom there is growing awareness of the number of male victims after a report by the Salvation Army stated that 41 percent of human trafficking victims in the United Kingdom were men. Regardless of location or gender, what it really comes down to is that all victims of sex trafficking need a safe place for recovery and rehabilitation.

https://humantraffickingsearch.org/invisible-men-male-victims-of-sex-trafficking/

https://www.statista.com/statistics/300796/percentage-of-trafficking-victims-worldwide-by-gender-and-age/

That graph on Statista shows an increase in male victims from 2004 to 2018, although there was a 1% decrease from 2016-2018

Granted yes, women make up a large number of victims. However, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t recognize that it happens to both. I don’t think a lot of people realize that boys are victims as well. You just don’t think about it. You hear human trafficking and you think of women and girls. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to sound like we shouldn’t have any focus on women and girls, we just need to think about both. We should help both. We should give attention towards both. 

-  Who's seen as inherently dangerous and violent and thus experience police bias?

For all young men, regardless of skin color, police violence was also a leading cause of death between 2013 and 2018. Overall, women are about 20 times less likely to be killed by police than men.

The average lifetime odds of being killed by police are about 1 in 2,000 for men and about 1 in 33,000 for women.

https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1821204116

https://www.gilmorehealth.com/men-are-20-times-more-likely-than-women-to-be-killed-by-the-police-regardless-of-race/

-  Who's expected to be feminist for equal rights BUT pay for the woman they're not even dating yet? 

In a survey on love and finances conducted by Money and SurveyMonkey, 78% of respondents said they think men should pay on the first date. Out of the 4,447 participants, 20 percent disagreed, while 2 percent declined to answer.

Overall, women were slightly less united on the matter. While 85% of men agreed that their wallets should be on the line, only 72% of women said so. This trend held steady with every group except for divorcees, where women slightly edged out the men in answering “yes.”

The gender gap was widest among single people who have never been married: A full third of single women said men shouldn't be expected to foot the bill on the first outing. Also, a quarter of all millennials responded “no” when asked if they thought, in general, men should pay.

The survey does not account for regional disparities or the broad spectrum of relationships outside of the heterosexual. But for now, it appears men are still largely expected to pony up on the first date. So how much will this tradition cost them?

When asked how much was appropriate to spend on a first date, 41% of respondents answered $25 to $49. But many male respondents claimed to be bigger spenders: 43% of men said they expected to shell out between $50 and $99 on a first date.

And according to this: 

Chivalry dictates that on a “date,” the man pays, whereas egalitarian ideals suggest that gender should not determine who pays. We examined the extent to which people embrace or reject these competing notions. Unmarried heterosexual participants (N = 17,607) reported their behaviors and attitudes regarding who does and who should pay for dates on a survey posted on NBCNews.com. Although most men (74%) and women (83%) report that both members of the couple contribute to dating expenses after dating for 6 months, most men (84%) and women (58%) reported that men still pay more expenses. Many women (39%) wished men would reject their offers to pay and 44% of women were bothered when men expected women to help pay. Many women, however, were bothered when men won’t accept their money (40%). Nearly two thirds of men (64%) believed that women should contribute and nearly half of men (44%) said they would stop dating a woman who never pays. Nevertheless, the majority of men said they feel guilty when accepting women’s money (76%). These data illustrate how many people are resisting or conforming to traditional gender norms in one telling aspect of dating that historically was related to the male’s displaying benevolent sexism, dominance, and ability to fulfill breadwinner role during courtship.

https://money.com/valentines-day-men-pay-first-date/

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2158244015613107

The answer as to who should pay really depends on the person. A common reason you’ll hear why men should is that they need to make a good first impression, it’s being a gentleman or if he asked, he should pay. Something along those lines. I think regardless of who asks, the first date should be split. That’s just my opinion. 

--  

This whole idea of men being “privileged” has done harm. It’s the only problem that has people not seeing that men have their own issues too, but it doesn’t help. It’s pretty hard to see it when you’re constantly being fed this idea that men are always benefiting in society (especially the more narrow you go with sexuality, race, etc.). 

Some people might still see them as  privileged while having their own issues. Others, the more extreme type, don’t see them as having problems. It seems impossible to them. 

And that, everyone, is a huge problem 

[jorjmush]

breaking news: idiot with a fish hits 255 and kills god heres the part where i do a personal review all parts of the arcane river story

dont take these seriously

the adversary as a character 0/10: words dont describe how bad he is "...Oh!" "...Ah!" shut up youre an insult to every maplestory class

lost temple keeper + vanishing journey: 7/10

i did this in 2017 but most of the content is fetch quests and an introduction to completely new things you have no attachment to maybe i should give it a little more credit as the kao twist being revealed for the first time was kinda cool and the talk amongst the fandom

reverse city: 7/10 apparently i did this in 2021? i guess that makes sense because this didnt exist in 2017 why is earth real and called friends world still not invested in the story by this point but i liked t-boy

chu chu island: 6/10 this is when i came back so i actually think this story is quite fun and i liked the characters involved but in the grand scheme of things, its not good

feels like filler, wasnt truly important until yum yum was added YEARS LATER, feels like a waste of 5 levels when i still feel like you should fight the black mage at 250 instead of 255

yum yum island: 9/10 cooooooooool cooooooooooooooooooool has the same fun and and loveable whimsy of chu chu but this time it sets up something sinister and adds to the plot

the afrien fusion, the kaling reveal, chefs kiss

lachelein + crack of subconscious: 8/10 honestly i wasnt very invested in this lucid just makes this interesting

plus im a shade so i get extra dialogue

also this town name sucks gms hates non-english words

arcana: 7/10

rock spirits and i love the spirit of harmony was this just setup for tana

morass: 10/10

alright we getting into PLOT jean deserved better, tana deserved better, arkarium deserved what he got, shey deserved better, kritias deserved better

the flying fish TALKS and the moment where he takes the form of jean and shows himself to tana is so AMAZING i love this TRAGIC STORY

the maps are awful though especially if youre low on arcane force which i was

esfera: 8/10

why dont i actually remember much of what happened here i guess the information of tana has been so stuck in my head it doesnt feel like it was presented as new information to me anymore lots of nice exclusive dialogue here though and we get to meet ollie sellas: 11/10 i will cry right here right now this is such a good story with good atmosphere and pacing i CARE for both ollie and shubert greatly

moonbridge: 8/10

this is when the pacing and structure becomes spotty because it was part of the event i chose not to participate in which means i didnt get the full experience theres just so much dread in this questline so many losses from not being ready to fight the black mage the pacing towards the second half is bad though the cutoff is so strange because it feels like you have another 30 minutes to go when really you have 5 labyrinth of suffering: 8/10

hillas beats the shit out of your morale for an hour the dread continues and continues it shall tons of exclusive dialogue, always a favorite limina: 5/10 i feel like im supposed to feel more i feel like im supposed to do more all of the bosses are very weak which is very unsatisfying, orchid is tsundere and says the adversary hasnt lost anything which ranges from maybe true to absurdly false depending on who you are the claudine vs cygnus scene is legitimately pointless, nothing can describe in words how pointless it truly is the flying fish DIES and then suddenly you have to fight the black mage the black mage whos phases last 4 seconds in story mode i only ever got hit once

the adversary dying did make me actually sad though because everyone else thinks youre truly dead the flying fish comes back (yay) and then its revealed NO ONE DIES? and most of the soldiers get UNSNAPPED? the story finishes with orchid being tsundere again and your idiot of a character sitting on the flying fish leaving the scene

i feel like im in a cartoon

kaos memory: 8/10 a tragedy of a character destined to die kao deserved better shade aftermath: 10/10 thank god he gained a reason to live conclusion: why did i even type this out im just ready to move on to the grandis story

[worldofwardcraft]

Just a bad day all around.

October 17, 2022

Friday the thirteenth came on a Thursday this month for Donald Trump. And while that date was filled with ill fortune for him, it held plenty of good news for those wishing to see the MAGA mob boss face accountability for his countless crimes and receive the comeuppance he deserves.

For a start, the House Select J/6 Committee's hearing last Thursday presented irrefutable evidence that not only was Trump fully aware he'd lost the 2020 election, but that even before the election he was planning to overturn its results illegally. The hearing categorically painted Trump as a humiliated, desperate failure who told his chief of staff, "I don’t want people to know that we lost." In the end, the committee voted 9-0 to subpoena Trump to testify. Which no one really expects he will do, since he's completely incapable of telling the truth.

That same day, Trump lost another 9-0 vote, as the US Supreme Court summarily shot down his last-ditch effort to keep a hundred sensitive national defense documents retrieved by the FBI from Mar-a-Lago out of the hands of the Justice Department. The Court didn't waste any words, either.

Application to vacate the stay entered by the United States Court of Appeals for the Eleventh Circuit on September 21, 2022, presented to Justice Thomas and by him referred to the Court is denied.

Also on Thursday, federal District Court Judge Lewis Kaplan rejected Trump's attempt to further delay his scheduled October 19 deposition in the defamation lawsuit brought by E. Jean Carroll. She's the longtime columnist for Elle magazine who accused Trump of raping her in a department store back in the mid-1990s. In an exhibition of his limited vocabulary, Trump responded to the ruling by calling the nation's legal system a "disgrace" and Carroll's 2019 lawsuit "a hoax."

Meanwhile, New York Attorney General Letitia James filed for a preliminary injunction to stop Trump from transferring assets to another entity after ABC News reported Trump had quietly registered a new company, Trump Organization II, on the same day James filed her $250 million civil lawsuit against the current Trump Organization.

Finally that day, another federal judge overruled Trump's objections and allowed former VP Mike Pence's top aide, Marc Short, to testify about his conversations with Trump before a grand jury probing the criminal efforts to overturn the 2020 election.

So, all in all, you might say last Thursday was a terrible, no good, very bad day for Donald Trump. For the rest of us, on the other hand, it was anything but.

[justforbooks]

Christopher Latham Sholes was born on February 14, 1819. He was an American inventor who invented the QWERTY keyboard, and, along with Samuel W. Soule, Carlos Glidden and John Pratt, has been contended to be one of the inventors of the first typewriter in the United States. He was also a newspaper publisher and Wisconsin politician.

Typewriters with various keyboards had been invented as early as 1714 by Henry Mill and have been reinvented in various forms throughout the 1800s. It is believed that Sholes drew inspiration from the inventions of others, including those of Frank Haven Hall, Samuel W. Soule, Carlos Glidden, Giuseppe Ravizza and, in particular, John Pratt, whose mention in an 1867 Scientific American article Glidden is known to have shown Sholes. Sholes' typewriter improved on both the simplicity and efficiency of previous models, which led to his successful patent and commercial success.

Sholes had moved to Milwaukee and became the editor of a newspaper. Following a strike by compositors at his printing press, he tried building a machine for typesetting, but this was a failure and he quickly abandoned the idea. He arrived at the typewriter through a different route. His initial goal was to create a machine to number pages of a book, tickets and so on. He began work on this at a machine shop in Milwaukee, together with a fellow printer Samuel W. Soule They patented a numbering machine on November 13, 1866.

Sholes and Soule showed their machine to Carlos Glidden, a lawyer and amateur inventor at the machine shop who was working on a mechanical plow. Glidden wondered if the machine could not be made to produce letters and words as well. Further inspiration came in July 1867, when Sholes came across a short note in Scientific American describing the "Pterotype", a prototype typewriter that had been invented by John Pratt. From the description, Sholes decided that the Pterotype was too complex and set out to make his own machine, whose name he got from the article: the typewriting machine, or typewriter.

For this project, Soule was again enlisted and Glidden joined them as a third partner to provide funding. The Scientific American article (unillustrated) had figuratively used the phrase "literary piano"; the first model that the trio built had a keyboard literally resembling a piano. It had black keys and white keys, laid out in two rows. It did not contain keys for the numerals 0 or 1 because the letters O and I were deemed sufficient:

 3 5 7 9 N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 2 4 6 8 . A B C D E F G H I J K L M

The first row was made of ivory and the second of ebony, the rest of the framework was wooden. Despite the evident prior art by Pratt, it was in this same form that Sholes, Glidden and Soule were granted patents for their invention on June 23, 1868 and July 14. The first document to be produced on a typewriter was a contract that Sholes had written, in his capacity as the comptroller for the city of Milwaukee. Machines similar to Sholes's had been previously used by the blind for embossing, but by Sholes's time the inked ribbon had been invented, which made typewriting in its current form possible.

At this stage, the Sholes-Glidden-Soule typewriter was only one among dozens of similar inventions. They wrote hundreds of letters on their machine to various people, one of whom was James Densmore of Meadville, Pennsylvania. Densmore believed that the typewriter would be highly profitable, and offered to buy a share of the patent, without even having seen the machine. The trio immediately sold him one-fourth of the patent in return for his paying all their expenses so far. When Densmore eventually examined the machine in March 1867, he declared that it was good for nothing in its current form, and urged them to start improving it. Discouraged, Soule and Glidden left the project, leaving Sholes and Densmore in sole possession of the patent.

Realizing that stenographers would be among the first and most important users of the machine, and therefore best in a position to judge its suitability, they sent experimental versions to a few stenographers. The most important of them was James O. Clephane of Washington D.C., who tried the instruments as no one else had tried them, subjecting them to such unsparing tests that he destroyed them, one after another, as fast as they could be made and sent to him. His judgments were similarly caustic, causing Sholes to lose his patience and temper. But Densmore insisted that this was exactly what they needed:

This candid fault-finding is just what we need. We had better have it now than after we begin manufacturing. Where Clephane points out a weak lever or rod let us make it strong. Where a spacer or an inker works stiffly, let us make it work smoothly. Then, depend upon Clephane for all the praise we deserve.

Sholes took this advice and set to improve the machine at every iteration, until they were satisfied that Clephane had taught them everything he could. By this time, they had manufactured 50 machines or so, at an average cost of $250 (equivalent to almost $5,000 in 2020). They decided to have the machine examined by an expert mechanic, who directed them to E. Remington and Sons (which later became the Remington Arms Company), manufacturers of firearms, sewing machines and farm tools. In early 1873, they approached Remington, who decided to buy the patent from them. Sholes sold his half for $12,000, while Densmore, still a stronger believer in the machine, insisted on a royalty, which would eventually fetch him $1.5 million.

Sholes returned to Milwaukee and continued to work on new improvements for the typewriter throughout the 1870s, which included the QWERTY keyboard (1873). James Densmore had suggested splitting up commonly used letter combinations in order to solve a jamming problem caused by the slow method of recovering from a keystroke: weights, not springs, returned all parts to the "rest" position. This concept was later refined by Sholes and the resulting QWERTY layout is still used today on both typewriters and English language computer keyboards, although the jamming problem no longer exists.

Sholes died on February 17, 1890, after battling tuberculosis for nine years. He is buried at Forest Home Cemetery in Milwaukee.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (250-241)

(Author's note: I intended to have the list ready by 1 September, but I was a bit lousy in compiling the final spots on there. As a result, they will seem a bit shoddy, but there will be good summaries, I promise! And there will be honorable mentions soon enough.)

#250: Harel Skaat -- Milim (Israel 2010)

“האור נרדם, דמעות של דם, שורפות לי בגרון, ידית שרוטה, תקרה שמוטה, כשאני שר לך את השיר האחרון” “The light fell asleep, tears of blood scorch my throat Scratched handle, sloping ceiling When I sing to you the last song” Curiously, I already knew of Harel Skaat before hearing of Eurovision: I listened to a few of his earlier tracks when I found him singing with another Israeli pop artist, Dor Daniel. I particularly liked משנו ממני and כמה עוד אפשר. Milim is a requiem for what was once lost—the presence of one whom the narrator really loves. The imagery used in this song adds to the melancholic feel—a classic ballad of sorts, with a lot of emotion. And the performance from Harel was very good, even though he butchered a note at the end. Maybe it was the pretty blue lights that really accompanied the mood of the song. Personal ranking: 7th/39 Actual ranking: 14th/25 GF (grand final) in Oslo

#249: Tina Karol -- Show Me Your Love (Ukraine 2006)

"You see it in my eyes, my heart is on fire Don’t hide your love away, don’t wait another day" As mentioned in the note, I had a hard time determining the last few spots on my list. I went through the results of both sorters and picked what I felt in the time. Show Me Your Love is a bit odd, but with the accordion intro striking right away, it deserves a place here! While an overly simple song with stilted lyrics, Show Me Your Love is still a bunch of fun. From the boppy beat to Tina's infectious presence on stage, one can't help but smile as this comes along. And there was a jump rope right in the middle of the performance--never change, Ukraine. :) Personal ranking: 5th/37 Actual ranking: 7th/24 GF in Athens

#248: Alan Sorrenti -- Non so che darei (Italy 1980)

“Non so che darei per fermare il tempo Per dormire al tuo fianco solo una notte Non so che darei per sentirti mia Per tenerti vicina solo una notte” “I don’t know what I can give to stop the time To sleep beside you only for one night I don’t know what I can give To take you close to me only for one night” Recently, I find myself humming to this a lot, because it's so calming and nice. I particularly like Alan’s vocals in this song! He really conveys the pain of losing (or on the verge of losing) the one he loves, expressed by the melancholic lyrics. Together, they form a song which is just as beautiful, if not more so than the winner of its year. Despite its 6th place, it became a continent-wide hit, which was quite deserved (just like a good number of Italian Eurovision songs over the years, haha)! Alongside that, Non so che darei also had the only black conductor at Eurovision while there was an orchestra, along with a couple of women playing fake guitars. For some reason, I imagined they were holding umbrellas instead, but I clearly remembered wrong... Personal ranking: 3rd/19 Actual ranking: 6th/19 in Den Haag

#247: Sanja Vucic ZAA -- Goodbye (Shelter) (Serbia 2016)

"I lick my wounds So that I can keep on fighting" Another last-minute choice, but this is an important song, both in 2016 and now, unfortunately. Despite the advances in women's rights over the decades, domestic violence still persists across the world. Goodbye (Shelter) tells the story through someone who's struggling to get out of a toxic relationship, and there's a mix of vulnerability and strength in the lyrics. Of course, lyrics don't make up the whole song; the music also conveys the story through a dramatic build and beautiful strings. Considering the 2016 contest, it does get a bit lost amongst the crowd, but it feels like a musical number in all the right ways. Also, the performance told the story well, and Sanja is a wonderful singer (she also sings a cover of one all-time favorite you will see towards the end, hehe). I even would shed a tear at points. Personal ranking: 8th/42 Actual ranking: 18th/26 GF in Stockholm

#246: Remedios Amaya--Quien Maneja Mi Barca? (Spain 1983)

“El verde de tus ojos verdes, mírame, Que mira que yo te mire, mírame, Que mira que yo te mire” “The green of your green eyes, look at me, Look at me, so I can look at you, look at me Look at me, so I can look at you” One of those songs that can be defined as an acquired taste--the people who love it enjoy its subversive status in the Eurovision canon for being unapologetically Spanish, while the people who hate it will dismiss it as just a bunch of noise. This is a song which is part of the “New Flamenco” genre popularized since the 1960s, which mixes up flamenco music with other genres, such as rock or electronic music. Quien Maneja mi Barca ‘s studio cut has nebulous lyrics combined with an electronic beat, which is alright at best. I found it quite hollow and quite forgettable there. I prefer it in its orchestral form, which fuses synths and concert instruments fantastically. It definitely amps up the drama with Remedios’ voice, and made me appreciate this very distinct entry. Personal ranking: 6th/20 Actual ranking: Joint last (with Turkey) in Munich

#245: Marianna Efstratiou - To diko sou asteri (Greece 1989)

"Μα στο βραδινό τον ουρανό το δικό σου αστέρι ψάξε βρες Γιατί οι σκιές στο πρώτο φως μοιάζουνε φοβίες παιδικές" "But in the evening sky, search and find your own star Because the shadows in the first light seem to be childish phobias" While To diko sou asteri sounds a bit safe in the grand scheme of things, I think its lack of pretension is what makes this little song shine. The lyrics encourage one to find their star and encourage the listener to pursue what they believe in without any fear. Marianna's vocals also add to this song in that they're quietly hopeful and sweet. Also, for some reason, I got some "True Colors" vibes while listening to it every time, despite there being some differences. Both have this relaxing, calm vibe to help the listener on their journey through life. Then again, True Colors doesn't have some nice flute flourishes throughout the song, haha. Personal ranking: 4th/22 Actual ranking: 9th/22 at Lausanne

#244: Dina -- Amor d'agua fresca (Portugal 1992)

"Peguei, trinquei e meti-te na cesta Ris e dás-me a volta à cabeça" "I picked you, bit into you and put you in the basket You laughed and made my head spin" 1992 is one of the most average years at Eurovision--after the chaos that was 1991, it seems like the songs and production sought something safer, and the whole thing felt really bland. Amor d'agua fresca is anything but dull--it's bubbly and sweet, with quite relaxed atmosphere. The combination of instruments--particular the guitar in the beginning and Dina's vocals-- really help with conveying a mood. But after that, we have the lustful lyrics, describing a romance through enjoying different fruits, which was quite different for me... But hey, different makes things quite a bit better in life! Personal ranking: 4th/23 Actual ranking: 17th/23 in Malmo

#243: Lucia -- Él (Spain 1982)

"Él me perdona porque es un pedazo de buen pan Y me trata con paciencia Sé que no debo ser cruel Que le debo confesar que él a mí, no me interesa" "He forgives me because he’s a scrap of good bread And he treats me with patience I know that I shouldn’t be cruel That I should tell him I’m not interested in him" One interesting thing about me is that I'm a sucker for tango music. There's a sense of drama when one listens to it, and even more so when people get on the dance floor. While I've only danced it a few times, when one does it right, the connection between two people is quite powerful, and you could fall right into a dream. El definitely amps up the drama--Lucia is in a conflicted relationship, but she plays the "player" role quite well. It's very flirty and seductive, and you could immerse yourself in the story. While the dancing was a bit too much for a stage as small as 1982's, it's still quite fun to see. Also, it was sent as a way of supporting Argentina in the Falkland Wars, which is quite interesting... Personal ranking: 4th/18 Actual ranking: 10th/18 in Harrogate

#242: Gabriela Gunčíková -- I Stand (Czech Republic 2016)

"I am thanking you, you made me You are my air, I’ll always care" For those who have an aversion to ballads, why is that? I find it annoying because there can be ones where they can touch you and tell a story. Life can't always be happy bops with heavy beats (or it's because they don't really inhabit my musical atmosphere most of the time...) I Stand sounds like a derivative ballad sonically, but it carries itself with such grace and grandeur. The instruments add to the drama of the song, which thanks a special person for their help in their life (though the lyrics above can come off as a bit co-dependent...or so I've heard) And Gabriela delivers this with the necessary composure and grace the song desires. It feels like a highlight track from a musical--one where two characters meet again and the narrator wants to recognize the latter's good deeds before they're gone forever. Thanks to that, the Czech Republic gets their first grand final appearance (though getting 0 televote points once there was harsh...) Personal ranking: 7th/42 Actual ranking: 25th/26 GF in Stockholm

#241: t.A.T.u -- Ne ver, ne boysia (Russia 2003)

“Кто-то понты а кто-то маньяк, Кто-то как ты, кто-то как я.” “Someone's a psycho and someone's a maniac, Someone like you, someone like me” If I’m right, I may have heard this song without knowing this was from Eurovision. It was because there was a period between middle school and high school where I love t.A.T.u’s music, and this was one of their singles. Ne Ver Ne Bosia is compelling and dark, with an interplay about the people around them using an old Soviet proverb as the title. It’s gripping and intense, and brings the listener into this crazy and mad world they're enveloped in. The performance, on the other hand, almost couldn't have been worse. The vocals were really ropey (especially from Lena, who would usually be trusted to help Yulia), and it didn't come over as a great listening experience. While I love it, t.A.T.u were really lucky they competed in the televote era, as they would've been struck down hard by the juries. (and the worst part: there will be a couple of poorly-performed entries which will be quite high on this list...) Personal ranking: 6th/26 Actual ranking: 3rd/26 in Riga

[kurohiraeth]

You give me Artemis vibes for some reason. Like I will willingly go on a men killing spree with you :) also you resonate a lot with the moon yk?? Like chill vibes and doesn't sleep on time. Ever.

yup...

I haven't followed you for very long but congratulations on the 250 bestie !! <3

Thanks!!!! 

Ykw??? You’re right... i NEVER sleep on time... EVER.... and yesss <3 i resonate with the moon!! and nighttime, in general, a LOT!!! <33 Artemis is awesome ABSOLUTE KWEEN!!! and if our killing spree has rapists, murderers, abusers and bigoted ppl who don’t deserve to mar this world on the hit list, then... *murderous smile* when are we leaving? <33 :)

you give me CHAOTIC but chilled-out vibes... so... Dionysus!!! Coz that Bish can go from 0 to 100 in a FRACTION of a second <333 and you’re super cool, absolutely crazy (affectionate) and an absolute ENTITY <33 Hope you like it!!!

Tell me which deity i am!!! (and i’ll give you one right back!!)

[nic0-tea-n]

Food Log 031721

GOAL 800 - TOTAL 767

Breakfast: Fruits and Cereal Yoghurt

Strawberries 114g = 33 kcal

Mango 85g = 50 kcal

Green Grapes 53g = 36 kcal

Yoghurt 0,1% Fat 70g = 36 kcal

Nestle Almond Clusters 10g = 37kcal (I put it into my yoghurt)

Coffee 300ml = 0 kcal

Sugar Free Caramel Syrup 3 ml = 1 kcal

Unsweetened Almond Milk 15 ml = 2 kcal 

Green Tea 250 ml = 0 kcal

TOTAL: 195kcal

Lunch: Avocado on “Toast”

Avocado 50g = 99 kcal

Cottage Cheese 0,5% 50g = 44 kcal (mix with avocado)

Wasa DelicateCrisp Sesame&Salt 2 piece = 68kcal (top with avocado mixture)

Cherry Tomatoes 18g = 3 kcal (slice, top the toasts)

Green Onion 3 g = 1 kcal (top the toasts)

TOTAL: 214

Dinner: Veggie-Fish Bowl

Alaska Salmon Filet 96g = 70 kcal (fry, cut in dices and top on bowl after everything else)

Olive Oil 3ml = 25 kcal (used to fry the samlon)

Mini Romana Salad 40g = 6kcal (cut, base of your bowl)

Black Beans 50g = 57kcal (top the salad)

Cucumber 49g = 7kcal (dice, top the salad)

Cherry Tomatoes 36g = 5 kcal (dice, top the salad)

Avocado 60g = 118 kcal (dice, top the salad)

Green Onions 9g = 4 kcal (top your bowl)

Cayenne Chilis 6g = 2 kcal (chop, top your bowl)

Cilantro 5g = 1kcal (chop, top your bowl)

Hummus 17g = 49 kcal

Yoghurt 0,1% 27g = 14 kcal (mix with the hummus, top all your veggies)

TOTAL: 358

Workout: -371 kcals  (I did some Rachel Gulotta Fitness Workouts, message me if you want to know more, absolutely recommend her aesthetic workouts)

Disclaimer: I weigh and measure everything I consume and use the app Lifesum, which scans all barcodes on my food and automatically measures the calories. I am from Germany so If you want more info about where I buy my produce, feel free to message me :) 

PLEASE TRY TO STAY SAFE AND HYDRATED. I DO NOT PROMOTE EATING DISORDERS. FEEL FREE TO REACH OUT TO ME. IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU ARE NOT ALONE, I HOPE YOU WILL GET BETTER, YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS AND YOU ARE LOVED!

[prorevenge]

Pastor lies cheats and steals. He gets exactly what he deserves.

If you want to read on YouTube that's OK with me. You can call me kaldra or OP. as my user name is not easy.

Sorry I am on mobile. Also I'm sorry but I need to be very vague about where this happened.

The cast

Pastor Bob (not real name). Contractor. Me, kaldra (or OP if you want)

Setup I have been a computer technician for more then 15 years. I have worked on all kinds of computers. Everything from tiny point of sale computers to large rack server computers.

I had been attending a new to me church. I was trying to date a women there this church was her idea. That relationship crashed and burned but that's a different story.

Now we can start

It was about 5 years ago. I had just sat through a long sermon about generosity and giving to those that need help. At the end of the sermon pastor Bob asked for an additional donation because the churches roof needed repairs. And it would cost $20,000 US dollars. that's right twenty thousand freedom dollars for a new roof.

After the service I'm talking to my date. Pastor Bob walks over to me. I say hi and he introduced himself we talk a bit. Pastor Bob asked what I do for a living. I tell him I'm a computer tech with a shop. As I'm telling him I have a gelling he already knows what I do. Pastor Bob asks me to have a look at his laptop. It's being very slow So I agree.

I turn the laptop on and I hear a clicking noise. This clues me in its probably the hard drive. But I can still access the data. This is a good thing it means I can probably recover the data. So I tell pastor Bob the hard drive is dying and it needs to be replaced. I also tell him I can probably recover the data. Pastor Bob asked how much it would cost to fix. I tell him for most people I would charge around $250. However I feel I can donate my time so I would just need $60 for a new hard drive. Pastor Bob agrees so I write up a invoice. New hard drive $60 labor $0, data recovery $0, and 2 to 4 days for repair. pastor Bob signed the invoice. So I take the laptop to my shop.

I open the laptop. HP why do you use so many screws and clips. I get the hard drive out and connect it to my recovery rig. I setup the recovery to clone a data to a new hard drive. But not the new one for the laptop. A high end storage drive. I go home after locking up the shop.

Next day Monday I open the shop and check the recovery rig. It's working but it will take at least 10 more hours. So I start work on the other tickets. Then at closing time I lock up and go home.

Next day Tuesday, I've had pastor Bob's laptop for 2 days. I open the shop and check my recovery rig. Good news recovery completed 100 percent data recovered. Report says hard drive developed to many bad sectors. Now I have a choice to make. I could put a 1 TB hard drive $60 or a 120 GB ssd $60. or I could pay some money myself for a 240 GB ssd $100. I decide why not and put the 240 GB ssd in the laptop. I then clone all the data over from the new recovery storage drive to the new 240 GB ssd. An hour later the clone is done. So I check everything the laptop works great and is exactly like how it was before the first hard drive died. Even the logins still worked. So I call pastor Bob and tell him his computer is done. He says that's great he will be here soon to get it.

About 45 minutes later pastor Bob walks in. I show him his laptop working and much faster. He loves it signs the pickup form. He then pays me with a check for $60. It's important he paid with a check. I do a bank run on Monday and Friday. So that Friday at the bank. I am informed that pastor Bob's check is void, what? Why? Pastor Bob had placed a stop payment on the check. So I call him he ignored my call.

I go to church on Sunday. Pastor Bob gives a sermon about not lying. I walk up to talk to him he avoids me. So I leave and decide I'm going to write it off. I spent $100 and some time to do something nice.

A few weeks later a customer walks in looking for a new computer. So I offer he a drink and go over his options. I'm chatting him up an he tells me he is a contractor he mostly does siding and roofing. He is thinking about offering solar. That's why he is getting a new computer. I ask how much does a new roof cost. He says up to about $10,000. So I ask him why would someone say $20,000. He had no idea. I thought it was strange. I asked about the church. Contractor said it would have been simple and around $5,000. And he could probably do it for less. Contractor buys nice new laptop.

Sorry the setup took so long the revenge starts now

Something about what the contractor said bugs me later. Why would pastor Bob lie and say $20,000 for a new roof. And why would he stiff me for $60. I then remember I never cleared the recovery rig storage drive. So I check and there it is pastor Bob's laptop data.

I look around it's slow and I'm all caught up on repair tickets. So I decided I'm going to clone pastor bobs data to a second laptop. I look around a bit. He had all of his logins stored in a folder on the desktop. Including his online dating logins. And online poker. Did I ever mention pastor Bob is married. I start printing his online dating messages. I look back and find pastor Bob had been adult hugging. several women from his online dating. he had been paying for his dates from the churches donation fund. I am getting angry now. Then I realize he had adult hugged the women I was dating when I was dating her.

It was then I decided to break pastor Bob. I printed out all his dating messages and the women he adult hugged. for the last 6 months except I refused to print the naughty pictures. It was an impressive packet. I then decide I need copies of the packet. So I order 100 packets printed from a major online printer. A few days later my order of revenge packets arrived. These revenge packets are amazing double sided. Staple bound, with a cover with pastor Bob's face on it.

Now the conclusion and I think it's worth it.

. This church had a calendar of what the sermon might be about a perfect Sunday was approaching. I go to church that a few Sundays later a bit late. Everyone is in the church so I put a revenge packet on each car. I have a few revenge packets that are in yellow envelopes. So I put them in the mail. I sent one to all the high ups In the church. and I sent a special packet with some of pastor Bob's naughty picks to pastor Bob's wife. I set the return address to the church. I also emailed a bunch of people the revenge packet from a burner email.

A couple weeks after I went back to that church. Pastor Bob was gone so was the wife. several of the women were also gone including the one I was dating. I asked one of the important people there. What happened? The answer was amazing. I was told about the revenge packet and how everyone had gotten one. The day my revenge packet appeared. The sermon pastor Bob had given was about the evils of adultery and cheating on your wife. Thank you church calendar.

The fallout

Pastor Bob was fired and shunned. Multiple women from the church have not returned including the one I was dating. Pastor Bob's wife is devorcing him. And she is the one that owned the house and cars. No longer pastor Bob is now being sued by several people including the one that fixed the roof. He never paid any of them. There was also rumors of a criminal case for embezzlement. No one has seen Bob in a while now. The church might close if they can't find a new pastor. But the churches money is very low. Apparently he also spent over $30,000 on online gambling.

TLDR

Pastor lies, steals, and cheats on his wife with multiple women. Gets found out and doxed. Gets fired, devorced, and arrested. And no one knows I did this to him.

Notes because you might ask.

It's quite possible that several of the very young children and babies at the church were his. But I cannot confirm this.

I have no idea where Bob is now. I would think still in jail.

(source) story by (/u/madbr3991)

[webmagazine]

Top 12 Legitimate Ways to Make Money Online (Beginner)

Earning money has typically been associated with and restricted to the traditional ‘offline route. With the Internet taking over a large part of our lives, more people are looking for ways to earn money online to increase their financial inflows, with secondary income streams or you can say it a passive income stream

There are numerous ways to earn money online, some of these ways might be fake. Also, do not expect to earn a huge amount quickly when using online avenues to earn money.

Here are a few online platforms, websites, and tools that can help you to earn money online.

1. Become a freelancer or freelance writer

Doing freelance work can greatly increase your income. Freelancing has always been a popular way to earn money online and the Internet has several options. There are several websites offering freelance tasks for people with varying skills.

All you need to do is to create an account in any of the following websites and Get paid for every single work done. Get a great reputation and you can turn this into a full-time job.

Some freelancing websites

Upwork.com

Fiverr.com

Freelancer.com

Peopleperhour

2. Make Money with Affiliate Marketing

Affiliate Marketing is one of the best ways to make Passive income online. The best part about affiliate marketing is that you can be an affiliate for nearly any company, from Shopify to Amazon to Uber to FabFitFun and You can start it at any time you want even with a 0$ cost.

Affiliate marketing allows you to earn a living by promoting other brands. This is like a symbiotic partnership. When visitors to your site buy products or services by clicking on such links, you earn out from it.

If you really want to make money online doing affiliate marketing, your best bet is to focus on content marketing and building a blog through a website.

3. Surveys, searches, and reviews

Simply answer online surveys or product tests and make money from home. You can easily make an extra $250 a month while watching T.V.

Take a look at some paid survey websites listed below. At all of these websites, you not only earn some extra cash but also get rewarded through gift vouchers, prize drawings, free products, etc. All of these sites mentioned below are free and easy to sign up and use.

Swagbucks

Survey Junkie

Opinion World

4. Start a YouTube Channel

If others can make money from YouTube, so can you. Your YouTube channel should focus on a single Specific niche so you can build a strong personal brand around your niche.

The secret to making money on youtube is to create content people want that either educates or entertains. Always adds value in people’s lives through your content.

You can use a headline that’s witty to entice people to watch, or you can use keywords that are optimized for YouTube search. Once you’ve reached the 1,000 subscriber milestone, you can officially monetize your channel with Google Adsense and Youtube ads.

5. Email Marketing

Email marketing is one of the secrets of every successful Business On the web. Anyone who is serious about making money online, email marketing certainly can prove profitable. Before you even try to market anything to anyone via an email list, be sure that they’re people that subscribed and opted in willingly to you.

When you try to market to people via email, you won’t find as much success you deserve as per your work. So you have to work a little bit smartly.

What, if those email subscribers are actively and keenly interested in what you have to say, and they signed up directly through your blog or site, your rate of success will be much higher than expectations.

Email Marketing will grow your business faster than any other marketing medium! I use and recommend GetResponse

5. Build A Blog

Blogging is one of the oldest methods for making money online. People who love writing tend to start blogs with a niche focus.

One of the most exhaustive endeavors when it comes to making money online is to build a blog. But we all know that building a blog with a real readership is difficult. It takes a lot of work and time to scale in this field. You have to be consistent and patient in order to succeed in the field of Blogging.

Blogs can easily generate tens of thousands of dollars to hundreds of thousands of dollars per month when done right with the right strategy and content. Yes, One can even build a six or seven-figure income stream from Blogging.

6. Create Side Gigs

Create a side Gig that can help you to make money online while you keep your full-time job. If you’re looking to make an extra couple hundred dollars per month, this is a great idea to start without any investment. There are thousands of people who earn thousands of dollars from freelancing.

Use platforms like Fiverr to create gigs. When you’re new to Fiverr, you’ll want to focus on offering a low price so you could get your first Client. Treat the client like a friend and actually deliver overvalue in the form of a finished product that you can feature on the platform on your portfolio.

The thing with Fiverr is that it’s also a numbers game. If you look at top Fiverr users, you’ll see that they have multiple gigs available. The more gigs you add, the more your chances to list on the first-page increase.

7. Do Translation Work

If you need an instant way to make money Online, translation work is a fairly good niche to be in. You’ll need to be fluent in at least two languages to do this successfully or you can take the help of a Google translator.

In Starting You will need to show some proof of your ability and expertise to translate the project. If you have a language degree or experience translating text, make sure to add it to your portfolio. This will increase your chances of getting hired.

The List of Sites where you can make money online contains:

Upwork

Fiverr

People per hour

Pro Translating

8. Use Shopify To Build Your Own Online Store

When you’re desperate to make money now, sometimes the only option is to sell your stuff. If you’re unemployed and struggling to find a job, selling your possessions is one of the best ways to make money fast. You can earn money online using the links below,

You could always build your own online store using a platform like Shopify. Shopify makes it easy to build a transactional website without all the hassle, which takes much of the guesswork out of doing what some would consider a highly-complex task.

The company markets its services with being able to start selling online in seconds. In order to start, first, you have to do research work through Google Trends, After you’ve figured out stuff to sell online, start your own online store using Shopify. You’ve proven that you’ve got what it takes to be an online retailer. I believe in You, you can do that!!!

9. Sell Photos Online

Whether you’re a professional photographer or just love Clicking great and high-quality pictures, you can monetize your Skill in several ways. you could consider selling them through sites like Shutterstock and iStockPhoto, two of the biggest photo resources online to make money in an easy way.

If you’re looking for more exposure, you can use a site like a burst to sell your stuff. However, if you’re looking to monetize your phone photography quickly, you can use Foap, an Online photo Selling Website.

10. Build An Amazon FBA Business

If you want to go directly to the world’s largest online platform with an enormous audience and traffic, think about setting up a Fulfilled-by-Amazon (FBA) business. Amazon will pick, pack and ship your orders, and almost everything on your behalf. You will get exposure to unimaginable audiences to market your product.

Clearly, there’s a lot of demand on Amazon, and if any product is going to sell, it’s going to sell well on Amazon. But your products should be something that will easily sell at the world’s largest online retailer. Generally, products between $10 and $50 sell very well here, but you have to consider the competition. Do the right market research before jumping on Amazon FBA.

If you are an expert in a particular subject, you can easily earn by mentoring people online. Online tutoring provides you a platform to connect online with students of all ages, across the country to provide doubt-solving help, expert advice, and tutoring in the subjects for which you have expertise.

11. Invest in Stocks

You can also make money online by investing in equity and stocks. If you have knowledge regarding stock, you might want to skip this money making idea, No Matter if you’re new to stocks you can easily learn and from it with the help of Upstox, A brokerage Platform to invest in stocks, While they also provide you with some videos and articles, which helps you to learn about stock investing quickly.

But remember one thing it can also result in money loss if you’re inexperienced. If you currently hold a 9 to 5 job, look into your company’s financial programs and you can start it on a part-time basis.

12. Buy & Sell Domains

Do you buy domain names regularly but fail to use them?

you can still earn from your domain, yes only domain. You can try to resell them for a profit. Selling domains is ultra-competitive and large.

Every day thousands of domains are bought and sold. If you own a one-word .com domain or another domain, you’ll have a chance of selling it.

You can sell your domains by taking participating in GoDaddy’s Domain Auction. Take a look at the domains with the highest bids to see what type of domains will be sold at a high return. There is no upper-limit you can earn any amount based on your analysis and work.

[its-kierce-sherman]

[What happened the day the DTI boys swapped personalities]

((I had 5 hours to do whatever so I did this. Warning it’s kinda longish))

So, Quinn was behind the idea of swaping personalities yesterday and was supported by Callum so it became a thing (this is how anything starts) They all drew names. Kierce got Francis. Francis got Quinn. Quinn got Kierce. Callum got Kent. Kent got Callum.

The rules to the game were simple: - They had to dress up as the person they got - They had to stay in character at all times - Everyone contributes $50 for the prize money - The last person to get eliminated gets the prize money - if there are two or more people standing the eliminated have to vote for who did the best and the winner gets the prize money

Mission 1: Dress the part.

Kierce: - Wore what he normal did around people - stole an eyepatch from Francis' collection - styled his hair to cover one of his eyes - Money spent: $0

Francis: - wore a ball cap - a bright yellow T-Shirt that said, "spreading happy :)" - blue jeans with splashes of different colors of paint - tied his hair back and got rid of the eyepatch - everyone liked that (but mostly Callum)

Quinn: - avoided formal clothes at all costs - raided Kierce's closet - wore a million accessories - shirt with obscure design on it - black jeans - yoiked Kierce's favorite jacket - Kierce did not like that

Callum: - sportswear - looked good - none were surprised - posted so many pictures of himself - his fans liked that

Kent: - Callum had to help him - $80 black dress shirt - $50 white designer pants - $65 grey Oxford boots - $70 ring - Total: $265.46 - Callum paid for all of it (:>) - Kent looked really good tho so it was all worth it

"They're group of good-looking men but something very wrong with all them." - Kierce's grandma 2016

The Tumblr stuff happened while they were waiting for everyone to get ready and start the day. Kierce will never say "Idiot baka, ever again.

So earlier on everyone picked out an activity they all liked doing. So Callum picked first.

Mission 2: Have a fashion show in Callum’s room.

Kierce: - said it was stupid - didn't do it - was a judge - 0's for everyone - took pictures of everyone - and laughed bitterly - enjoyed watching Francis suffer

Francis: - hated every minute of it - wanted to die - was stuck as the dj - fought the urge to play Last Resort - fought the urge to yell at Kent's stupidity

Quinn: - was a judge too - used big words - that he didn't know the meaning to - it was very adorable - "Sir your score is a 5+4." - beams with pride at his cleverness.

Callum: - lived and yet died - had to wear simple or mismatched outfits - oh the horror - still looked good

Kent: - wanted to try wearing high heels - failed - he tripped so badly - and so many times - but he really wanted to master walking in high heels - Kent pls stop you can't

Next thing!

Mission 3: Play at the park with kids. Quinn picked it after bungee jumping was shot down by Francis (who is afraid of heights.)

Kierce: - said it was stupid - did it anyway - Kei loves kids so dang much - he had so much fun telling them stories and helping the small ones on the monkey bars - said the kids made him do it - frowned on the outside - smiled on the inside - a tiny girl hugged him and he nearly hugged her back - he just patted her of the head awkwardly

Francis: - played on the merry-go-round - he spun it so fast and the kids loved him for it - he was smiling and laughing with all of them - fell off once and just laughed it off - everyone recorded it - Francis should act his age more often - he snuck his camera out every couple of minutes to take pictures of everyone - he mostly took pictures of Callum

Quinn: - told kids to stay in school and never do drugs - kept randomly saying things like, "1+1=2" - "Hey kid. Do you want some smarties? It's $20 a piece" - the kids found it funny - Kierce did not - pretended to take a nap on the bench

Callum: - played basketball with some boys - used to play basketball and hadn't done it in forever - everyone appreciated that - "How are you so tall mister?" "I have no idea I just," waves hands around, "grew one day." - his Kent impression was dead on - Kent went :O "I did that too!"

Kent: - played basketball with Callum and kids - he forgot he was Callum and couldn't help it - he was eliminated - but everyone expected that - Kent will and can only be Kent

Next!!!!

Mission 4: Play volleyball. Twas Kent’s idea so they went to the gym that the volleyball club use. The club members were there as usual and they played too.

Kierce: - Said it was stupid - Did it anyway - Had fun - Got hit in the face with the ball many times

Francis: - He was not a fan - He did jump around tho - and smiled no matter how fake it was - so he was safe - showed amazing team spirit - Lysander dropped by because he heard there was drama going on within the jock circle - happiness levels went up by millions - and smiled brighter than the sun - Ly was so confused but he liked seeing his bf happy as did everyone

(Side note: Francis is not single.)

Quinn: - You could tell he wanted to jump around and just be an energy ball - because that's what he did - he was eliminated - but he just shrugged it off and laughed - had too much fun missing the ball every time he tried to spike it

Callum: - CEO of getting hit in the face. - usually he'd just dodge them - but he was Kent now - he couldn't afford to break character - His nails suffered and he was in pain but he pushed through - had fun? - got hit in the stomach once - nearly died

Kent: - just an normal day with the bois - kept forgetting that most of the boys has never played volleyball before - he was the one behind all the times Callum and Kierce got hit in the face

Mission 5: Read books. Kierce's activity was originally doing a job one of the teachers had hired him to do, which was clean out one of the storage rooms. No one but Kierce liked that. So he had to pick again. 

Kierce: - complained about such a stupid activity - read, "How to be British 101," and, "The Tea for Me Might Be the Tea for You” - enjoyed it

Francis: - enjoyed the peace and quiet - until he realized he was suppose to be disturbing it - looked over at Kierce - who looked back at him with a smug smile and then went back to his book - the urge to strangle was strong with this one - in the end he just bounced around looking at books - talked loudly about whatever - got kicked out of the library - danced all the way out - wanted to die

Quinn: - knew he was eliminated but was having too much fun to stop - randomly shushed people - found a math book - it was big so he assume it was complicated - it was and he understood nothing but he felt smart - "Quinn what are you reading?" "Advanced Engineering Mathematics; the 7th edition." - when he got tired of it he found a book with math puns - math puns for the rest of the day

Callum: - avoided the fashion magazines - wouldn't even go anywhere near it - instead he just walked around all bored like - bounced a ball off the wall - accidentally hit himself in the face with the ball - blacked out for a minute - when he finally came to - Kent: "Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there." - Callum: "Damn you Stormcloaks. Skyrim was fine until you came along. Empire was nice and lazy. If they hadn't been looking for you, I could've stolen that horse and been half way to Hammerfell. You there. You and me - we shouldn't be here. It's these Stormcloaks the Empire wants." - Quinn: "We're all brothers and sisters in binds now, thief." - Kierce: "Shut up back there!" - Francis recorded the whole thing

Kent: - was bored - kept pulling books off the shelves and putting them back where they didn't belong - danced out with Francis

The last mission: Go to Francis' favorite tea shop.

Kierce: - first thing he did was order Francis' favorite tea - "Hmm, this doesn't taste as good as it usually does." - got assaulted by napkins

Francis: - assaulted Kierce with napkins - tried to run away - Kierce threw a fork at him - he died from shock - eliminated - ordered his favorite tea - proceeded to go on a rant about how stupid the day has been - chewed out Kent for being stupid and told him to never try wearing high heels beacuse he'll only hurt himself - told Quinn that offering candy to kids was a bad idea even if it is a joke because adults can take it the wrong way and that his math puns were the worst - told Callum that he should play basketball more often - glared at Kierce

Quinn: - makes a math pun - but it's not just any math pun - it's the worst math pun - had countless hot chocolates because Callum was paying - tried to make Francis and Kierce apologize to each other - Francis: "No, I'm not apologizing. He said something stupid and deserved everything he got." - Kierce: "I'm not apologizing to someone as stupid as him that's just stupid." - Quinn: :( - Kent: "Could you two get along FOR FIVE MINUTES!"

Callum: - smiled at all the workers and told them they were all doing a great job - gave them all a $50 tip for their hard work - they were so busy dying they didn't notice Kierce and Francis fighting - the DTI boys avoided getting kicked out again - sadly that wasn't a very Kent thing to do - he did got eliminated - ordered an latte - there was a fancy heart in it - Cal took a picture - then he asked for the cafe worker who did it to thank them - "Thank you, you’re really talented with latte art. Next time I visit will you teach me how to do that?"

Kent: - he had a great time - had a smoothie or two - laughed at Quinn's bad math puns when no one else did

To end the day the five friends went to a karaoke and had a great time singing and talking about the events of the day. Francis showed off the pictures he took that day and promised that he'd print copies of the best ones and give them to everyone. Kierce won $250 which is always a good way to end the day. Callum swore to never play volleyball and posted on Instagram about the day. Quinn has a great time and learned many things, like how many math puns there are, something that is always very important to know. Kent was just happy to spend time with his friends and play volleyball. It was a wonderful day.

[paperanddice]

Allabar Gargantuan aberration, chaotic evil Armor Class 22 (natural armor) Hit Points 370 (20d20 + 160) Speed 30 ft., fly 30 ft. (hover) Str 30 Dex 26 Con 27 Int 29 Wis 30 Cha 28 Senses darkvision 200 ft. passive Perception 20 Languages telepathy 250 ft. Challenge 24 (62000 XP) Psionic Boost (Recharge 5-6). When Allabar hits a creature with a tentacle attack, it can deal an extra 22 (4d10) psychic damage to the target. Actions Multiattack. Allabar makes three tentacle attacks, each against a different target. Tentacle. Melee Weapon Attack: +17 to hit, reach 20 ft., one target. Hit: 24 (4d6+10) bludgeoning damage. Wrath Of The Forsaken World (Recharge 5-6). Allabar releases its fury with a mental blast that fills a 60 foot cone. Each creature in this area must make A DC 24 Wisdom saving throw, taking 88 (16d10) psychic damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. Reactions Psychic Feedback. When a hostile creature damages Allabar, it can force the creature to make a DC 24 Intelligence saving throw. On a failed save, whenever the target makes an attack roll or saving throw before the end of its next turn, the target must roll a d6 and subtract the number rolled from the attack roll or saving throw. Legendary Actions Allabar can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature's turn. Allabar regains spent legendary actions at the start of its turn. Tentacle. Allabar makes one tentacle attack. Devour Body. Allabar pulls all creatures at 0 hit points within 5 feet of it into its space. Each creature that enter's Allabar's space dies, and Allabar recharges Psionic Boost as long as at least one creature died to this effect. Unravel Essence (Costs 3 Actions). Allabar targets a creature it can see within 20 feet of it. The targeted creature must make a DC 23 Constitution saving throw or its body begins to be unmade. While being unmade, the target takes 22 (4d10) force damage at the start of each of its turns. The target must repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. If the target fails three of these saving throws, it is reduced to 0 hit points. Allabar can only have one creature affected by this at a time. If it uses Unravel Essence on another, the effect on the previous target ends.

A massive orb just over twenty feet in diameter, covered in large, baleful eyes and writhing tentacles. 

How to Fight a World. The Opener of the Way is a full planet that wanders through the sky, using its influence to create star spawn. The only way to stop its dire plans would be to confront it directly, but doing so is nearly impossible without incredibly powerful magic. Allabar sits far beyond where almost any mortal magic could reach it, requiring a Wish, Divine Intervention, or perhaps planar travel to actually reach it. Even after arriving however, adventurers may be stumped at how to destroy an entire planet. The surface of the world has strange, unnatural life brought back from the Far Realm, as well as many star spawn that resulted from Allabar’s many conjunctions with other stars. Allabar’s eyes look out from the surface of the world, each one thousands of miles across as it stares out into the cosmos, watching for worlds to influence and destroy. The only way to confront the planet itself may be to descend into the core of the world and find the avatar there that acts as the world’s heart and brain. 

Created and Abandoned. Allabar was created long ago as an experimental attempt at a thinking, living world. The gods that participated in this test succeeded, but feared the power that their creation held and cast it away into the Far Realm in an attempt to hide and forget about it. In this place, Allabar was warped and changed in body and mind, and millennia later found its freedom back in the material plane where it belonged. The Opener of the Way is filled with malice and rage towards those who cast it out, but its vengeance has expanded to encompass all the gods and their creations. It fosters the stars’ hatred towards mortal worlds, using those most easy to manipulate to cause destruction wherever possible. 

Allabar’s Lair Allabar’s lair is a misnomer. The living world is its own lair, able to warp and control its surface to hinder foes and aid allies, or view upon creatures present there. All those who seek to challenge the Opener of the Way are as gnats crawling upon its body, helpless to actually harm the creature. 

Lair Actions On initiative count 20 (losing initiative ties), Allabar takes a lair action to cause one of the following effects:

- Allabar targets a volume of unoccupied space or solid stone no larger than a 50-foot cube anywhere it can see, turning the open space to solid stone or vice versa. - Allabar causes up to four star wisps to manifest anywhere it can see. The star wisps obey its telepathic commands, which can reach anywhere on the planet. They last until the next initiative count of 20, when they disappear again. - A grasping tentacle sprouts from the ground anywhere within Allabar’s line of sight. Each time a creature hostile to Allabar ends its turn within 10 feet of the tentacle, the creature takes 10 (1d10+5) magical bludgeoning damage. This tentacle is immune to damage and lasts until the next initiave count of 20, when it withers away.

Regional Effects The following effects can occur anywhere on the planet so long as Allibar’s core lives:

- An eye opens on the wall, ground, ceiling, or any other solid surface. The eye is stationary. Allabar can see through the eye. The eye can be harmed (AC 1, 5 hp, immune to psychic damage, vulnerable to piercing and slashing). The eye remains until Allabar ends the effect (no action required). - Open rifts to the Far Realm open up, releasing minor aberrations and reality warping energy before sealing up again. - Star spawn manifest across the world as Allabar moves into conjunction with other stars.

If Allabar dies these effects fade immediately, though the aberrations and star spawn released by them remain.

This one was quite a lot of work, making lair actions and regional effects for it on top of the actual stat block. Allabar might not actually appear in the adventure I’m looking to convert, but its presence is so important that I thought it deserved conversion as well. Originally from the Monster Manual 3.  If there is a monster from 4th edition that you want to see converted to 5e, feel free to send me a message. If you like this post, consider following my Patreon to get access to content like this a week ahead of everybody else, plus updates on other projects I’m working on! 

[crushcandles]

I didn’t do one of these last week because I wrote sweet FA and used my free time to prepare for a work event instead.

Party hook-up Harringrove which is back to being the sore in my mouth I can’t leave alone: 5917 (0%)

I didn’t write anything for this fic this week, but I did make a loose timeline. That makes this story sound very complex, plot-wise, but it’s really just so I can space moments out easier and keep things straight for myself which should clear up some of my mental barriers. Writing this would be better, but thinking about it has value too.

Harringrove for @candybarrnerd that was going to be a 300 word snippet: 1642

I literally started this and was like, “Okay, Me. It might be hard, but you can get to 300 words. @candybarrnerd is a delight and deserves at least 300 words.” And then I wrote 500 words and was like, “Great. Cool. Good job. Take a break and you can cap this with another 250, no sweat.” Then I wrote 1100 words. It’s not quite done. I’m not going to give it a planned word count because obviously my guesstimating skills are not to be trusted. 

[knowndwarffucker]

TOP 5 DWARVES IN ORDER OF THEIR FUCKABILITY (NONE OF WHICH ARE THORIN)

 5. NORI

listen, i hate for this to be the first line of the post, but nori FUCKS. he fucks HARD. he’s always up to something illegal, so he knows where to get good drugs and how to fucking party. he’s also described as immensely loyal to his brothers, and quick witted, so you won’t be having a bad time fucking him, but he DOES have major commitment issues. hope you dont get attached, cus he’ll be gone by next friday, then hit u up a year and a half later like he was just gone a week with a midnight booty text and go break your heart all over again. he eats ass like he’s fucking built for it though, so it would be worth it. he also plays the flute, and i cant figure out how that fits in, but its worth noting. 

4. DAIN 

first of all, in the books he kills azog before any of the hobbit starts, after HIS father got his head chopped off too, so he’s already committed one incredible feat. THEN, he’s smart enough to be like “fuck pride, we’re leaving” as the new king, and went home to rule a kingdom so great it rivaled sauron. he was nice to the eagles (gave them hats), made alliances with bard and good old thrandy, named his son after thorin after he became king, refused to be bribed by sauron, and died defending bard’s grandad or whatever at age 250 or smth old. this guy is the epitome of big dick energy. this guys dick is so big he gets all his codpieces custom made. unfortunately, he’s a politician and also wasnt portrayed in the movies so he gets a 0 on sexy rating and must be delegated to 4th position

3. GIMLI

I could go on about gimli. gimli son of FUCKING gloin. gimli, who asks galadriel for a hair off her head and gets THREE!!! gimli, who forms unbreakable bonds that cross races, gimli, who ran for DAYS maybe WEEKS straight after two young hobbits simply because they didnt deserve to be left alone. gimli, who’s first reaction to the ring of such great power it nearly destroyed the world, was to pick up his axe and try to smite it. if you dont think he’s hot as fuck you’re wrong, if you don’t think he could kick gods ass you’re wrong, and if you dont think either then you can just unfollow me right now. i could go on and on about my boy, but we all know how great his is. problems? 1. he’s related to the line of durin, however distantly, which is self explanatory, and 2. he’ll spend the whole time you’re together talking about his cool friend legolas and the cool adventures they’ve been going on and “the elf” this and “the elf” that until youre BEGGING him to either shut up or go makeout with his fucking boyfriend. so. :/ 

2. DWALIN

he’s stoic. he’s got a sense of humor. he’s rough, but he’s also loyal. he’s one of the only original company dwarves to make it to the LOTR so he’s clearly not as dumb as he looks. he’s mega sexy with tattoos, and fucks for sure. i mean look at him, he could hammer my anvil any DAY of the week. he plays the viol, so he’s clearly at romantic at heart, and lends bilbo his cloak on the first day of the fucking ADVENTURE EVEN THOUGH NONE OF THEM EVEN TRUSTED HIM!!!! HES THE LEAST TRUSTING OUT OF ALL OF THEM BUT HE DID THAT OUT OF THE KINDESS OF HIS HEART!!! HES THE ONE TO CALL THORIN AN ASS AT EREBOR AND SAVE BILBO DURING THE BATTLE!!! A KING!!! only setback is that he’s thorin’s cousin, and spends a lot of time with him, and if pigheadedness isnt genetic then it must be contagious. 

1. BOFUR 

how could it not be bofur? how could you think this would end in any other way? he’s the most emotionally available, he’s great at a party, he sings canonically very well, he’s always optimistic, and he’s a fucking lumberjack? i mean c’mon? also, his family isnt related to the line of durin at all, and you get bombur as an in-law. he’s literally the perfect man. he joins up with the gang not because he wants his own home back, because he wants “our” home back, he wants to get it back for everyone!!! he’s a blue mountain dwarf, but that doesnt sway his conviction to their cause!!! “Though not especially brave, he will do his best to help those in need, especially those he counts as friends.” !!! when bilbo goes to leave he tries to stop him until he realizes just how homesick bilbo is and then he’s like “good luck, no hard feelings, im not mad” like the ANGEL he is??!! also hes a freak in the fucking sheets and im so viscerally convinced of this that im starting to believe ive had some incredibly crucial dwarffucking visions that were wiped from my hard drive by unspeakable forces

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: [lord only knows how long it’s been since she bailed on that dinner party but here we are popping back up]

Ronnie: give us £250

Joe: If you’re going to blackmail me, you could be a bit more ambitious

Joe: that’s insulting, honestly

Ronnie: add 0 if it’ll stop you crying

Joe: If that’s why you want it

Ronnie: its only about you in as far as youve got it

Joe: alright

Joe: you probably aren’t going to give me your details, yeah

Joe: so how do you want to get it

Ronnie: cant make it no easier than asking for non flashy cunts card limit

Ronnie: you know where i live

Joe: now?

Ronnie: i werent gonna be asking now for a week ahead like

Ronnie: but if youre that made up to x7

Joe: You left it this long

Ronnie: i werent thinking youd owed me this long

Ronnie: not charged cash for a fuck since i started crashing here

Joe: You’ve been thinking about it then

Ronnie: just said I wasnt you gone blind since cause of how much youve been reliving it or what

Joe: What changed your mind today then

Ronnie: i need the cash today

Joe: I’ll get it to you

Ronnie: ill come for it if you dont

Joe: I will

Joe: it’s literally the fucking least

Ronnie: youve got that right mckenna

Joe: there’s no point apologizing

Joe: the cash is more useful

Ronnie: yeah no shit

Joe: what else do you want

Joe: excuses?

Ronnie: what excuses have you got ive not already heard

Ronnie: fuck that

Joe: what ones have you heard and I’ll not match

Ronnie: course you cant keep tally of your sob stories

Joe: I know enough to know you don’t wanna hear it

Ronnie: took you long enough to know it been doing fuck all but blaming the other cunts you share dna with for what you never stop whinging about since i met you

Joe: there’s enough to go ‘round

Ronnie: doubt that shed have to have stopped breeding after me to get close

Joe: If only

Joe: disturbingly fertile

Ronnie: made up weve got it in common

Joe: be a funny joke

Ronnie: punchline is chlamydia cures it so it aint an abortion i need the spends for

Joe: been here long enough to know they’re free

Joe: I ain’t asked what it’s for ‘cos you can have it, whatever

Ronnie: you aint asked cause you dont give a shit

Joe: no

Joe: I do but

Ronnie: you got what you wanted dont matter if im dead in a ditch after

Joe: bullshit

Joe: I got nothing but what I deserved

Joe: I’m just trying to do what you wanted and disappear again

Ronnie: bullshit is right

Ronnie: you & your fucking bullshit heroics

Ronnie: I left & got myself the hell away from you soft lad remember soon as this debt collections done so are we

Joe: you either want to be the victim or you don’t

Joe: you can’t claim compensation and not being fazed

Ronnie: like fuck am i the victim of you theres no cunt i could kick the head in of easier

Ronnie: you know what youre paying for you can’t stop thinking about it

Joe: if that was your plan all along, you’d ask for money upfront

Ronnie: werent my plan then

Joe: ‘cos you didn’t have one and never do, yeah, got it

Ronnie: I wasn’t hanging round holding my breath for you to show up & save me

Joe: save you from what, Sophie’s shit cooking or how blatantly jealous you were of Jamie

Ronnie: its your bedtime story fuck would I know

Joe: ‘cos you sleep sound

Ronnie: don’t have no dtf flatmates to kick out of bed 1st how you do baby

Joe: yeah, the lock has never been more necessary

Ronnie: shes not worth £250 then 💔

Joe: which one

Joe: Soph probably gets more in allowance

Ronnie: horse is gonna burn though it in hay & apples or whatever the fuck

Joe: nothing but the best, obviously

Ronnie: & you wouldnt give her £2.50 back for riding you

Joe: that’s really what you wanna hear?

Joe: even more fucking obviously

Joe: I wouldn’t even bother to break her heart after

Ronnie: I dont wanna hear about you & that other bitch leaves the 💦 fat one

Joe: well you know Marc is interested in literally nothing but bar charts so

Joe: that’s good ‘cos there’s nothing to report

Ronnie: don’t lie

Joe: what would be the point now

Ronnie: theres not any so fucking don’t

Joe: I’m not lying

Joe: Jesus

Ronnie: talk to me like im west when shes got her tongue hanging out & 🤞 you ll wanna see her 🍒 stem trick she can do with it

Joe: If I wanted to fuck her then none of this would be happening

Ronnie: take a razor blade to it next time you fuck her

Joe: then I’ll be all better

Joe: thanks sis

Ronnie: you or the accountant

Joe: you think you’ve fucked up my life and you’re moving onto his

Joe: alright, good luck

Ronnie: your life was already fucked its all you go on about

Joe: that’s richer than soph

Ronnie: fuck off

Joe: you did everything to try and show me how fucked you are and it didn’t work

Ronnie: I don’t try for you who the fuck do you think you are

Joe: you took me to shoot up and get inked and ruined the dinner party for entirely selfish reasons

Joe: makes sense

Ronnie: yeah

Ronnie: nothing I do runs as deep as you want it to

Ronnie: i shot you up cause you paid & I ruined your bullshit dinner party cos Fitz is looking down his nose at me for horse girls from kent

Joe: well well done you then ‘cos you made that 10x worse

Joe: he spent the rest of the time slagging you off

Ronnie: youre both welcome like

Joe: this is exactly what I wanted

Ronnie: youre an easy score whose boner for damsels gets your student loan in my arm it aint about what you want

Joe: why are you still talking then

Joe: the moneys yours, it’s over

Ronnie: why the fuck are you telling me what to do

Ronnie: its not over til its in my pocket

Joe: why the fuck are you bullshitting about all of this

Ronnie: all of what

Joe: yeah pretend it ain’t happening and it won’t have

Joe: whatever helps you sleep at night, like

Ronnie: whatever gets you off

Ronnie: like pretending this is something when its nothing

Joe: yeah, nothing

Joe: you’ve not been fucking breaking down ever since I came and told you everything

Ronnie: you fucking wish you knew what my breakdowns look like

Joe: and you wish you didn’t give a fuck about her but you do

Ronnie: you wish I’d trauma bond with you & I won’t

Joe: which is it, I wanted to fuck you and I did or I wanna live in your skin

Ronnie: i dont know & I dont fucking care

Joe: you want to hurt me and you can’t

Joe: pick up a blade again and you’d have a better chance, trust me

Ronnie: too late to try & turn me on now

Joe: so you said

Ronnie: & what are you saying

Joe: that you’re full of shit

Joe: keep up

Ronnie: thats richer than sophs daddy

Joe: you clearly didn’t scare her enough, he didn’t show

Joe: so you’ll have to stop thinking about him or get a better sense of direction

Ronnie: how much to scare her enough

Joe: I dunno

Joe: now I’m banging her, like

Joe: maybe I don’t want a new roomie

Ronnie: yeah its me whos full of shit

Joe: never said I weren’t 😏

Ronnie: made up for you you werent rattling this whole time

Joe: ha

Joe: something like that

Ronnie: course thatd be something you dont wanna talk about

Ronnie: only love the sound of your own voice when its going on at me

Joe: you reckon I’ve been thinking about filling my baby habit

Ronnie: I know

Ronnie: used to have my own baby habit

Joe: thought about it, maybe

Joe: used, no

Joe: so did you run out or have you lasted this long

Ronnie: 💔 you cant read me how you reckon you can

Joe: I reckon you’ve been doing whatever and whoever you can get your hands on for nothing but now you want a proper dose

Ronnie: cute

Joe: it’s that, or you have to admit we’ve got something in common

Joe: and you’ve been going through it sober to hope the message sticks

Ronnie: sober dont stick never mind fuck all else

Joe: didn’t say it’d work

Joe: fuck knows it hasn’t for me

Ronnie: keep your catholic guilt to yourself mckenna

Joe: gladly

Joe: weren’t offering to share when self-flagellation is my favourite

Ronnie: go ed & break my heart after then

Ronnie: thought i was your fave

Joe: we have discussed your big head before

Ronnie: all the better to rip a hole through your mammy with

Joe: 😂

Joe: devvo it didn’t traumatize her how it shoulda

Joe: six more later

Ronnie: you & me both

Joe: most of them and all, if they stop and think about it too long

Ronnie: meant to be made up to hear that am i

Joe: why wouldn’t you

Joe: her and her brats miserable

Ronnie: cause miserable is fucking close to good enough yeah

Joe: depends

Ronnie: no it dont

Joe: i had no idea you were holding onto so much hope

Ronnie: you have no idea about me

Joe: you wanted it to matter

Joe: whether she turned her life around and we had a perfect childhood or she died in a gutter ‘cos she couldn’t cope with it

Joe: but neither happened, she just popped more out and we got as fucked up as you would’ve

Joe: so she’s full of shit and you didn’t change anything, and that’s what’s fucked you off

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: I’m sorry, for the record

Joe: it’s fucked up

Joe: nothings ever changed her, nothing

Ronnie: bullshit are you sorry

Ronnie: never met a cunt more made up for how fucked everything is

Joe: it just stopped being news to me a long time ago

Joe: you’ve only just found out about her below average score

Ronnie: dead keen to deliver it soon as you could as well as

Joe: you were already fucked

Joe: you’ve said it yourself plenty

Ronnie: thats alright then like

Joe: it ain’t but

Joe: I don’t know why you’re still under the impression I’m some nice guy momma’s boy

Joe: I didn’t come find you with the best intentions, or even good ones

Ronnie: & i dont know why you think your intentions matter to me

Ronnie: anything you do or say

Joe: because you’re the one getting upset

Joe: I’m not gonna lie and say I cared about you before, I didn’t

Joe: not you as a person

Ronnie: don’t lie that you give a fuck now

Ronnie: get a grip

Joe: I tried

Joe: why do you reckon I stayed away

Joe: because I got what I wanted?

Joe: you get a grip

Ronnie: it aint a con im falling for try mary

Ronnie: well susceptible to 💘 like all sad homos

Joe: who said anything about love

Joe: if you wanna admit we’ve got something in common you know where I am

Ronnie: you you pussy romanticising everything like a meff 13 year old

Joe: I don’t reckon I’ve loved anyone

Joe: not even at 13

Joe: you reckon you’re special enough, I know that

Ronnie: youre special needs enough to reckon things are happening between us

Ronnie: i keep telling you weve got fuck all in common

Joe: and who are you convincing

Joe: you’re scared enough to keep lying

Ronnie: youre full of yourself enough to think im lying

Joe: another thing to bond over, you’re right

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: you’re used to people being scared off by this whole thing, I get it

Ronnie: no cunts dead proud of you for not being least of all me

Joe: give me another shot and I’ll be suitably terrified

Ronnie: give yourself your own shots if youre so fucking brave

Joe: if you share we can spend double

Ronnie: or I don’t & get you to spend £250 again tomorrow

Joe: how far do you think the loan will go spending like that

Ronnie: sooner its gone sooner I am

Joe: I’m not that stupid

Ronnie: im not in a hand holding mood

Joe: I don’t wanna hold your hand

Ronnie: you want me to find a vein

Joe: you want me to give myself an abscess trying

Joe: then I will

Ronnie: then ill watch

Joe: okay

Ronnie: but not here horse girls gay bff will get involved

Joe: I don’t care where

Ronnie: [a sketchy af location obvs]

Joe: doubling the chance I need amputation

Joe: you shouldn’t have

Ronnie: dont let it go to your head

Joe: why not

Joe: scared I’ll think its 💘

Ronnie: keep saying that bullshit & see what happens to your other arm

Joe: alright

Joe: will do

Ronnie: shut up for fucks sake

Joe: what happened to not until you had the cash in your hand then

Ronnie: applied to my gob not yours

Joe: go on then

Joe: say something

Ronnie: im not your bitch

Joe: not asking you to bark

Ronnie: done you enough favours

Joe: if I was asking for another I’d say bite

Ronnie: start telling me how to use my teeth & ill knock yours out

Joe: can’t take direction?

Joe: not shocked

Ronnie: not your whore flatmate

Joe: you’re cute

Ronnie: you’re hallucinating

Joe: possible

Joe: my meds have run out

Ronnie: not shocked

Joe: you shouldn’t be, you’ve tried ‘em now

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: do you like actual hallucinogens

Ronnie: is that you trying to flirt

Joe: *bond, ego

Ronnie: dissociatives

Ronnie: easier to od on pcp

Joe: angel dust is special, goes without saying

Joe: i haven’t done it yet though

Ronnie: when you want to you know where I am

Joe: I’ll have that now, you won’t have to share then

Ronnie: what the fuck happened to bonding

Joe: now you wanna

Joe: won’t say that’s what I wanted the whole time or you’ll sulk

Ronnie: no ill beat the shit out of you before it kicks in dont need no excuse to act west

Joe: is that you trying to flirt

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: youd know if this was foreplay

Joe: such a romantic

Joe: I can believe it

Ronnie: write a song about it

Joe: admit you want me to

Ronnie: you to keep up yeah

Joe: alright

Joe: I can do that

Ronnie: you owe me

Joe: it’s yours

Ronnie: but im the romantic

Joe: if you want it all for yourself

Ronnie: if i want it ill take it i dont need you to give it to me

Joe: alright, write a poem about it

Ronnie: bleed enough & ill think about it

Joe: [photo on the tube starting like a weirdo]

Joe: by the time I’m there

Joe: keeping up

Ronnie: [pics back of the horrific self harm you’ve been up to since you saw him last so he knows how much catching up he has to do nbd]

Joe: [we know he likewise has aside from not sleeping so yes we’re an absolute state]

Ronnie: [oh lads]

Joe: what did you use to do [a specific bit of this mess]

Ronnie: beer can

Joe: nice

Joe: have to steal Marc’s IPA

Ronnie: hed need stronger shit to get a personality & get it up for your girlfriend

Joe: maybe he launders money for her then

Joe: has to be something

Ronnie: she aint that interesting either except in your wet dreams

Joe: yeah but Marc is a special case

Joe: maybe he’s undercover or something, definitely not a real student

Ronnie: you would fucking invite me to dinner with a narc

Joe: 😂

Joe: sure he’ll get out the handcuffs next time, don’t be sad

Ronnie: bodycam footage would stop you sulking when he does

Joe: Marc can’t get it up, I’m not going to hear or see shit

Ronnie: cant with her

Joe: how could I forget

Joe: you’re special

Ronnie: dont forget to keep trying to convince yourself im not

Joe: you wish

Ronnie: you wish i gave a shit about what you think of me

Joe: why?

Ronnie: cause youre so fucking desperate for us to be the same

Joe: and I care what you think about me

Ronnie: youve cared since you sent the first message like

Joe: i don’t care what you think about me just that you do

Joe: only fair

Ronnie: bullshit is it fair

Joe: i haven’t stopped

Joe: you can think about me even 10% or something and it’ll be fairer

Ronnie: not one of your green exes

Ronnie: I know you can’t shut your head up it aint proper foreplay til you tell me the most fucked up shit in there about me

Joe: you know me so well

Ronnie: nice try soft lad

Ronnie: tell me

Joe: you wanna see how well we match up

Joe: or have an excuse to run

Ronnie: its you pussying out

Joe: I’ve never told anyone the shit in my head

Joe: that shit

Ronnie: im not anyone who matters who the fuck cares

Joe: you have enough blackmail material to last a lifetime

Joe: to blow up mine

Joe: if you’re gonna, go ahead

Ronnie: your mammy & daddy have fuck all i want

Joe: yeah but I do

Ronnie: so give it

Joe: it ain’t no BDSM bullshit

Joe: I can’t decide if I want to kill you and then kill myself so I can watch you die

Joe: or ruin your life so you kill me then yourself

Joe: and how much better it’d be if I’d have found you sooner

Ronnie: i dont look enough like your ma for you to reckon that middle aged bullshits a fantasy of mine

Ronnie: & i dont have a life you can ruin

Joe: you have enough

Joe: but yeah, if you had more hope to kill

Ronnie: rehabs not the 💔 you think it is

Joe: that’s what you recommend, yeah

Ronnie: id go with not reckoning anything else but gear means fuck all to me

Joe: it don’t change how you’d look dead

Joe: all the different ways that can happen

Ronnie: take my life if youve got in you baby fuck knows ive tried

Joe: what was it you said about permission

Ronnie: youre listening to me now

Ronnie: cute

Joe: I’ve heard you

Joe: get the audio as well as the visuals

Ronnie: yeah well when the accent is what gets you off

Joe: obviously

Ronnie: least i can do shes gotta be losing hers

Joe: some habits are hard to kick

Joe: speaking like you got something stuck in your throat is one of ‘em, I guess

Ronnie: made up for you your phone calls home are still boss then

Joe: remind me to make one I guess

Ronnie: if you ever get here

Joe: you miss me, I heard that too

Ronnie: if i did i dont now

Joe: 😏

Joe: damn, well once you’re rolling you’ll remember that you did

Ronnie: what would you know 🍒

Joe: you 💘 gear

Joe: besides, everyone knows drugged girls are easy

Ronnie: course you know it sick fuck

Ronnie: but psychotic girls aint

Joe: hotter though

Ronnie: whats easy is finding one on the tube

Joe: one that won’t give you rabies though

Joe: impossible

Joe: [creeper shots of anyone slightly odd on this train soz everyone]

Ronnie: [a selfie chilling in this sketch place because gal you’re the oddest and we all know it]

Joe: there you are

Ronnie: x

Joe: something like that

Joe: how many have you seen

Ronnie: no hand holding i said do your own treasure hunt like

Joe: you wanna be the only psychotic girl I wanna see, I get it

Ronnie: drop my spends off & you can go where the fuck you want

Joe: I was promised a bonding session

Ronnie: proves you wanna see me & fuck all the other way round

Joe: and what

Joe: you know I do, I’m not lying

Ronnie: hurry up then

Joe: you’re the one who’s not a fan of directions or a fixed address

Ronnie: what you can read music but not tube stops

Joe: I’m 🤢👽☘️ and you can’t wait to see me

Ronnie: fucks sake get probed by other rabid whores when I ain’t waiting mckenna dealer gonna get here before you

Joe: can’t be competing with that warm welcome

Joe: [get there boy]

Ronnie: [just a look like fucking finally even though he actually got there quite speedy lol]

Joe: [‘yeah, I was in the area’ like she’s being like omg you’re here so fast but all our bants is undercut by how intensely we are staring at her, as if there’s no one else here and it’s not sketchy sketch ‘cos we don’t care]

Ronnie: [‘don’t need no more of your life story’ like oh here he goes again over sharing stfu but likewise returning that intense look because has been a thousand years since you saw each other last by your usual standards of this wild timeline]

Joe: [not breaking it for nothing ‘cos weird but coming over and handing her this cash discreetly so not everyone in this place is like bonjour]

Ronnie: [still not breaking it when we put this money away cos obvs did not expect him to actually bring it and then I just imagine her smacking his head on something because we wanna crack it open and see what’s going on in there and specifically what he’s thinking about us rn but don’t actually seriously hurt him please haha]

Joe: [at least that will forcibly break the eye contact/tension but soz he’s so frustrating ‘cos just gonna grin like loved that]

Ronnie: [we know you two are fated for that reason but you shot yourself in the foot there gal because he’s probably bleeding too because heads do a lot and it doesn’t take much so looking irresistible af to you]

Joe: [woahohoh sexual tension]

Ronnie: [not at all chilling here waiting for this dealer like I sure do hope he appears before I hook up with my brother again]

Joe: [who can say, we all know it’s gonna happen though lads but enjoy the waiting game like I’m so fine are YOU]

Ronnie: [we both know that’s part of the fun for you both so have at it]