#i did not apply to this job to be a fucking cashier!!!!

[beauzos]

Trying not to get mad every time I come into work bcs every fucking day I get put on register for a vast majority of, if not all of, each shift. Im so sick of it. I miss shelving and being on the floor this is lame as fuck

[karmaphone]

I seriously want to throttle whoever started it with the putting 'must be able to stand for eight hours' in job descriptions to weed out disabled ppl bc they're in all of the entry-level positions now and I'm ready for Blood

[jellyfishzebracat]

Snippet of an rwrb fanfic I’m writing it’s a/b/o and Alex is a 29 year old law professor who meets 21 year old Henry after Henry is forcefully moved to America to study law by his grandmother.

It’s this Alex

And this Henry

Alex hadn’t always wanted to be a law professor, he’d kind of just, fallen into it.

He’d studied law at NYU and shortly after gotten a job as a paralegal but that got , stale.

So during a late night rant to his mother she’d suggested he do some more study and look into teaching as a professor.

So Alex studied and then applied for a job at the university his mother was the head of.

Alex wasn’t proud of using the nepotism card but he did anyway.

So fast forward a few years and Alex is 29 years old teaching as a law professor, now finally on his own for the second year after teaching as a TA under Zarah Bankston and old friend of his moms and now a dean at the university.

Alex doesn’t expect anything to go wrong this year however that all changes when Henry fox walks into his lecture hall.

He’s pretty, blonde and everything Alex wants in an omega.

Alex class is small only 100 students so Henry already stuck out, however when he opens his mouth and speaks with that pretty English accent Alex is gone.

Which is bad, really bad because Henry is his student.

Everything goes well for a few weeks until one night Alex has finished his 6 pm lecture and is in the Chinese restaurant across from the campus when Henry walks in.

Henry walks up to the counter and Alex watches as Henry places his order, when he goes to pay however his card declines, once, twice, three times. Henry opens his mouth most likely to cancel his order when Alex blurts out “I’ll pay” and is swiping his American express.

“I .. thankyou.. you didn’t have to do that, professor ” Henry glances up at him

“It’s no problem and please don’t call me professor, it’s Alex“ Alex replies, leaning one arm on the shop counter.

Henry’s phone pings and he sees Henry’s face twist before he’s huffing out a breath and his scent sours.

“everything ok” Alex attempts to calm Henry but the agitation doesn’t leave Henry’s face.

“My bloody roommate just kicked me out of my dorm for the night, apparently he’s found some girl to shag” Henry spits out

“Shag” the word feels foreign in Alex’s mouth

“ it means fuck, Alex” Henry’s rolling his eyes but grinning up at him and Alex can’t help but return the smile.

“Um maybe we could eat together at my place” the words are out of Alex’s mouth before he can even process how much of a boundary that crosses and how bad of an idea that is, Henry beams “That sounds wonderful Alex”

Soon the cashier is calling out that their food is done and Henry is following Alex out to his car.

Henry sinks into the leather passenger seat of Alex’s Lexus and sighs “ Christ, I forgot how nice leather car seats were”.

Alex shoots Henry a questioning look and Henry looks down at his feet.

“My family’s quite well off however since my grandmother shipped me over here with barley any money, I’ve been missing out on the luxury’s I used to enjoy”

“I hope I’m not over stepping but why’d she send you here” Alex questions.

“Apparently it’s unbecoming for a member of our family to be an omega and to want to study literature, I was at Oxford on a scholarship in my last year and then she pulled me out to study law here in America” Henry’s answer is pained, Alex can’t imagine what it would be like to have your whole life up ended like that.

The rest of the drive continues on a happier note as Alex and Henry sing along to some of the songs on Alex playlist until they arrive at Alex’s brownstone.

As they step into the house Alex sees Henry looking around, his head tilted upward, was he scenting?

Alex chooses to ignore it for his own sanity and leads Henry to the couch and excuses himself to change out of his teaching clothes and into something more comfortable.

Alex now in a t-shirt and sweats joins Henry on the couch, Alex thinking of something to watch while they eat, asks Henry if he’s a Star Wars fan, Henry’s face lights up and he gleefully explains that he loves return of the Jedi, Alex scoffs and has to correct Henry “ the best star wars movie is clearly the empire strikes back” Henry flashes Alex a gummy smile and rolls his eyes “ I suppose I could endure watching empire”.

[becauseplot]

hi hello :)

so i just reread ‘miss me?,’ which first of all, love it, it’s on my kindle so i don’t think i originally commented which is a shame. i love properly scary cell, but also this glimpse into the beginning of him trying to figure out how to actually live. the only tool he really knows is fear so that’s what he’s using on felps, but he just doesn’t have the same power in the outside world and if he just goes around threatening/murdering people he’ll just get tracked down. Cell’s scary, but felps has food and shelter and stability and isn’t a wanted criminal and probably /could/ get him arrested, even if he got killed in the process. interesting dynamic.

and poor felps, man doesn’t deserve this, but it’s rather hilarious to me that his worst nightmare shows up and… wants to crash on his couch. and according to the end notes, this keeps happening? i want to see how this evolves, because if cellbit has to keep coming back for handouts (which i imagine doesn’t gel well with his ingrained need to be self-sufficient against the world) he really can’t be great at figuring out Society. he needs felps, who has a foothold in regular life.

eventually the terror has to wear off and it’s just ‘you again? can’t you get a job or something?’ situation where Done With This felps teaches his roommate who grew up in the murderwoods How To Person. how to make a purchase at the grocery store without murdering (or threatening to murder) the cashier. what ‘hobbies’ are. cellbit discovers gravity falls and spends a week on the couch enraptured. felps is not delighted with this situation by any means but they’re kind of stuck together now.

i’ve been following your posts about the little dagger au and i’m excited you have ideas about how to fit it together! it’s really cool and makes me have thoughts (as you can see)

and the reason i started this ask, which got out of hand, was the interesting death mechanics in ‘miss me?’. i really like the Void and uncertain respawn mechanics, and wondered if you could elaborate some on how it works in your head? did the same mechanics apply in the hunger games (i think so, since cell said he’d ‘climbed his way out of the Void more times than you can imagine) and does this mean that players leave their bodies behind as well as get new ones on respawn? (again i think so, because cannibalism. really my questions aren’t very specific, but i think it’s cool and if you want to talk about it i’d like to hear it)

Aaaaaa Saga hello!! o/ I’m so glad you liked Miss Me? it was incredibly fun to write! Love writing a character who is just plain scary and evil heheheh >:)

But yeah!! The fic was based off the premise “hey what if Cell showed up at Felps’ apartment and instead of stabbing him just wanted to crash on his couch” because I thought it was really fucking funny and I ran w it. So it’s supposed to be a scary situation, yes, but also kind of hysterical? And ridiculous? Like, Felps gets into a petty shouting match about the meaning of the phrase “fuck off” with the same guy who gutted him a month ago and blackmailed him for ages. And then the guy—who is just an utter dick, by the way—basically mugs him at knifepoint and demands to crash on his couch. And he gets mud all over the fucking cushions.* Like what? The fuck??

*Fun detail! The reason Cell sleeps with his boots on is because he has to be ready to run at the drop of a hat! It's a habit he picked up on in The War, as you can see in Hunting Lessons, where it's mentioned that he (Dagger) still has his boots on when he wakes up! A signifier of Cell finally feeling genuinely comfortable, safe, and at-ease with Felps is the first time he takes his boots off when dropping in for one of his "visits" :D

"eventually the terror has to wear off and it’s just ‘you again? can’t you get a job or something?’ situation where Done With This felps teaches his roommate who grew up in the murderwoods How To Person." YEP BASICALLY LMAO. No but that's exactly it, that's basically the plot from that point onward.

Also the Gravity Falls thing,,, idk if we're just on the same wavelength or you saw me going batshit in the tags on that one post about cc!Cellbit's Bill Cypher tattoo but yeah. He basically gets personhood via multiple visits to Felps. See if he really had to, Cell could do this entirely on his own. But---and he'll never admit it---he got used to having Felps around in the prison. He got used to the company (even if it was under duress) and now he misses his "old friend."

And Felps? Yeah I didn't get to explore this in Miss Me? but in this AU, Felps was not very popular with the other guards. He was younger than most of them, they saw him as one of the more "spineless, naive" ones working there (and perhaps they were right?). Though he would talk to some people on his breaks, the person he ended up spending more time with, for better or worse (definitely worse), was Cell. And Cell knew/knows this. So Cell is like, "yeah we spend enough time with each other, that basically means we're friends right?"

And then in the years post-Fuga Cell actually starts to mellow out and put effort into trying to be kind (through Felps' guidance) because eventually he...doesn't actually want to see Felps hurting. And it's...been a long, long time since he's actually genuinely cared about someone (which is terrifying, btw). He almost forgot what it really means to have a friend. And Felps recognizes that there are just straight up gaps in Cell's understanding of the world and society and is...honestly kind of intrigued? And it's wild to see Cell be passionate about something so normal and in a non-murderous way. And hey, they're kind of stuck in this stalemate situation, and Felps COULD call the cops but he's really not a rock-the-boat kind of person, he's just trying to keep his head down, so might as well make the most of it.

(I actually kind of started poking at a Miss Me? continuation where Felps and Cell are juuuust about at that "you again? can't you get a job or something?" stage. It's also the first day Cell is introduced to Gravity Falls. There are more thoughts about how this continues but that's a whole other post and fdhjsk I'm getting distracted.)

Anyway onto the main event: RESPAWN MECHANICS!!!!!!!! You have NO fucking idea how overjoyed I was when you asked me about those. Alright here we fucking go.

So to be clear, these respawn mechanics apply to the Little Dagger AU and Miss Me? because, well, they're the same universe. I was trying to find a balance between a) honoring the respawn mechanics of Minecraft, b) lining up with what we've seen of respawn mechanics in qsmp, and c) making death meaningful/damning/dangerous enough to still make the time Cellbit/Dagger spent in The War terrifying.

So how it works is this: when you die, your soul gets sent to the Void. In the Void, you have to make a choice: respawn, or be consumed by the Void / wake up from the Long Dream / rejoin the Source Code / respawn in the next World / whatever you believe in. (The "choice" aspect is meant to reflect the "Respawn / Title Screen" options for the death screen in Minecraft.) You have to want to go back, to try again, and then you have to fight for it. It's a test of will.

So there's different ways of dying and being killed. You can never be 100% sure that someone you kill is going to perma-die (permanently die). There are ways to try to ensure it, like a) what Cell does (horrible, terrifying deaths that makes people afraid to come back, thus they fail the Void's will-check), or b) spawn-trapping / deaths in rapid succession, which wears down the individual's will until they eventually break. Thus, perma-killers are honestly more terrifying than your run-of-the-mill murderers, since they've developed techniques to not just kill people, but break people. (In this world, there is a difference between telling someone, "I'm gonna kill you," and "I'm gonna kill you dead." The latter implies you will break them.)

NOW. Sliiiight caveat: the strength of the Void's pull varies across the globe. In most regions/servers (like Brazil) the Void is "normal": a simple will check.

In other regions, however, it's different. The server where Dagger fights in The War has a VERY powerful Void, so much so that if you're killed, you're basically perma-dead without aid from an Admin. And even with Admin intervention, it's not 100% guaranteed you'll come back, as you still have to pass the will-check. Your chances are just exponentially higher.

(Btw I haven't mentioned this anywhere but The War in Little Dagger AU isn't an actual war, it's an unethical, war-themed, televised hunger-games-ish tournament that has an audience of people who place bets on the "soldiers" (players). Sponsored players (players with big-spenders officially supporting them) get perks and respawn privileges from the Admins. The perma-death nature of The War is part of its audience/hardcore-pvper appeal: a true survival-of-the-fittest challenge! Dagger is a...special case of a special case, let's say, but bottom line is that he's not sponsored and does not have respawn privileges. If he dies, he dies.)

The other end of the spectrum is 2b2t, where the Void is exceptionally weak. This might seem like a good thing but uh. That just means that spawn-trapping people is kinda a big deal. In a server with a "normal" Void, if someone spawn-traps you, you'll probably break and perma-die within an hour. In 2b2t, if someone spawn-traps you, it could be anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks before you finally perma-die and escape the torture of dying over, and over, and over. And trust me, the people in 2b2t have gotten good at finding ways to extend that threshold to months.

Also, death is traumatic! Even if you have to respawn, you can develop a host of mental health issues (the main one being PTSD), and respawning isn't a painless process that leaves you unscathed. Scars remain, and phantom pains are very common, especially in violent deaths. Some illnesses/injuries carry on through a respawn, too.

Anyway, yeah! Respawn mechanics!!! Summary is: when you die, to respawn, you have to want to come back. If anything is keeping you from wanting to come back, you may be consumed by the Void. Some servers have a stronger/weaker Void than others, thus making respawning harder/easier.

[angel-cove-choir]

NEVER in my fucking life have I had to fight THIS hard for a fucking job.

I got offered the job in person and still got an email saying they moved forward with other candidates. I asked the woman that hired me on to look into it today and she didn't, because I did not get a call back telling me that this was irreversible and I'd have to apply again.

I had to find that out MYSELF.

BY CALLING. AGAIN. AFTER SHE HAD LEFT FOR THE DAY.

Three days of this bullshit for a fucking cashier position that pays 13 an hour.

[crosswordgf]

i just realized before going to bed just now that i accidentally seemed to make up the most absurd insane lie on my resume earlier today when i thought fuck it i’ll just put on everything ive ever done here. in high school my class did this thing where we organized a political debate between real politicians and we also organized the school EU election and so they called us like junior ambassadors for the EU and we got tshirts and a diploma and everything. but i misremembered it as being a UN thing and i also was distracted by my friend talking to me at the same time so i entirely forgot the title and just wrote what amounted to ”2019 - UN ambassador”, which i would imagine would make me overqualified for the cashier and cleaning jobs i then applied to 😭

[rootfauna]

The biggest choice you make as a child that will shape your entire life and isn't what AP class you took, what college you applied for or attended, or what you decided to major in; it's your first job.

It's like the fucking four houses:

Retail

Food service

Manual labor

Childcare (not babysitting; we're talking filling out a tax form here)

No matter what you choose to do in life, you can better your resume by embellishing certain aspects of those jobs on your resume. If your dream job requires a ton of higher education, that job that you got at 16 working as a cashier will progress through the retail ranks as you study, and by the time you've got that degree you'll find aspects of those retail jobs to be relevant to your line of work and things from those jobs to put on your resume.

You can start off wanting one thing while working an entry level job, then discover (as I did) a talent and passion within that job you can work towards. I started off in food service making $2.13/hour plus tips (Yes, that was the minimum wage in Kansas when you also made tips). 16 years later I still work in food service but now I've got an education and make bank.

And if everything goes to shit? The jobs you've worked the longest are the jobs you'll fall back on.

And For What It's Worth:

Retail = Ravenclaw (gotta learn new tech, be good with numbers, etc)

Food Service = Slytherin (Food/Potions, etc and gotta have ambition and cunning to work for tips)

Manual Labor = Gryffindor (Be bold. Be brave. Be sweaty.)

Childcare = Hufflepuff (Patience and determination. Nuff said.)

[salsa3]

okie rant time

u dont have to read if u dont want to

i miss having my own fucking space i miss having my own bedroom where i can try cute outfits where i can paw off where i can just fucking be a girl by myself n have fuckin privacy to myself. i hate fucking being homeless i hate it so fuckin much its the worst n puppy hates it  ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡)

also went to urgent care this morning only to find out i have bronchitis :( the feeling of my nose being clogged is the fuckin worst my autism the fuckin feeling of not being able to breathe throughy nose and it DRIVES ME INSANE *mad BARK* living in that shelter is the fuckin worst (that's how i got sick when one person gets the flu there everyone gets it). :(((( at least i applied for a job today with my mew resume i did so hopefully i get it!! :3 its just a cashier thing at the 7/11 across the street from the shelter!!! so hopefully i get it!!!!!

#everything sucks #but it will be okie

[cauldronofmorning]

I’m sorry, this (from a massively right wing site from a lady author whining that COVID killed private schools) take on Kim is so fucking funny:

Better Call Saul recently completed its fifth season. The show started as a spinoff based on a minor character from megahit Breaking Bad. However, Better Call Saul quickly became beloved and critically acclaimed in its own right.

Much of the credit for that belongs to actress Rhea Seehorn’s stellar portrayal of Kim Wexler. She became the show’s breakout star.

Kim Wexler – wife of lead character Jimmy McGill aka Saul Goodman – is an enigmatic character. But viewers got a glimpse into her past during a job interview in season 2. Kim reveals she is originally from a small town in the Midwest. She decided to leave because she looked around at her life and realized that she was going to end up “married to the guy that ran the town gas station. Maybe cashiering down at the Hinky Dinky [a supermarket]…I just wanted something else.”

The interviewer asks Kim, “What did you want?” She answers with one word: “More.”

In a sense, Kim embodies the feminist dream. She rejected the traditional feminine path of marriage and family. Instead, she pursued a career. She graduated law school and landed a job at a major law firm, later leaving to start her own practice.

J.R.R. Tolkien, author of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, had a relevant observation about women who are described as “economically independent.” He wrote, “It usually really means economic subservience to male commercial employers instead of to a father or a family.”

That certainly applies to Kim. The show depicts her working endlessly for various male bosses. Even after she starts her own law firm, she is beholden to her biggest client, wealthy bank CEO Kevin Wachtell. In season 3, she becomes so exhausted working over-time for him and his friend that she crashes her car.

Despite her hard work, Kim hasn’t become rich. She lives in a small apartment. At the end of season 5, she hatches a plot to frame her old boss so she can get the money she needs to fund her dream of starting a pro bono law firm to help the poor.

Kim’s sudden dark turn is surprising. For most of the show, Kim was the stereotypical virtuous woman trying to keep the roguish Jimmy on the straight and narrow.

Kim and Jimmy might have the feminist ideal of an “equal partnership.” She never lets their relationship get in the way of her career. In the early seasons of the show, they are married in all but name. They live together and share business expenses, but Jimmy never fully commits to her. Finally in season 5, Kim is the one who proposes marriage. But it’s mainly a device to ensure she cannot be compelled to testify against him in court.

Kim has probably lost her chance of having biological children. (Seehorn is 48, so it is reasonable to assume the character she plays is around the same age.) And Jimmy isn’t exactly cut out for fatherhood.

Kim said she left her hometown because she wanted “more.” Did she get it? She got a better wardrobe. The tailored suits she wears as a lawyer are more elegant than a supermarket cashier’s vest. But that seems to be the only benefit.

Her life would probably be happier if she’d married that “guy that ran the town gas station.” At least he would be more concerned for her welfare than her various male bosses. But that doesn’t fit our cultural narrative.

Kim isn’t living the dream. She’s living a feminist nightmare.

[sodapop-1986]

fanfic

Warning: There is some smut and some language

This is S.T.A.R.S. era Albert Wesker

I took a deep breath as I ascended th steps to the police department. I was applying for a job there.

"Here goes nothing," I said to myself as I pushed open the door.

As I entered, the main hall, it seemed deserted.

"Hello!" I called as my voice carried throughout the room. My heels clicked sharply on the hard floor.

"Oh, " a rather large man said in surprise. "You must be Lindsay. I am Chief Irons."

"Hello sir. Am I early?" I asked.

"No. No. You're fine. You're here for an interview with Wesker?"

I nodded. "Were am I suposed to go?"

"To the S.T.A.R.S. office. It's upstairs. How about I show you. This place is like a maze."

"Thank you," I said. It was nerve wrecking to try to find it.

I followed him up two flights of stairs, down different corridors. I was getting confused.

'I hope I can make it out alive,' I thought as we stopped in front of a door with a S.T.A.R.S sign on it.

"It's through there. Wesker is waiting," he said as he opened the door for me.

"Thank you for everything, Chief Irons," I said, stepping into the S.T.A.R.S. office. As I was walked pass the desks. They were empty. I guess everyone left already. I had stopped infront of a closed door that had the blinds down. I straightened my skirt and my blouse. Then I checked my make-up in a compact mirror I withdrew from my purse. I made sure my hot pink lipstick wasn't on my teeth. Then I popped a mint into my mouth to freshen my breath. I knocked.

"Come in!" Said I figured was Mr. Wesker.

I came in.

"Hello. My name is Lindsay Mays," I said walking up to his desk.

"Hello, Ms. Mays. I am Albert Wesker. Pease take a seat," he said gesturing me to sit down.

I sat down in a chair in front of his desk. I had noticed he didn't shake my hand as soon as he had introduced himself.

I crossed my legs trying to be lady-like. I tried to control my breathing, but failed. My heart was pounding and my stomach was doing cartwheels. I put my sweaty shaking hands in my lap.

"S-sir, do you m-mind taking off your s-s-sunglasses?" I stuttered, my voice squeaking.

"Of course, Ms. Mays." He took them off, folded them, and sat them neatly on his desk.

"T-thank you. I want to see who I'm t-talking to."

"Yes." His voice was like sexy silk. Like melted chocolate filling my taste buds.

"Would you like some coffee before we get started.

"Huh? Yes. Yes please, daddy," I said feeling my core throbbing with excitement.

"What?" He asked staring at me.

"What?" I asked hastily, feeling embarrassed. My cheeks turning red slightly.

"Did you just called me, daddy?" He asked smirking.

"No. No."

"I think you did," he said with a chuckle. "I think you find me attractive."

Albert gotten up and walked over to his coffee pot and poured two cups. He then added hazzlenut creamer and splenda to them. I saw his nice ass. I was gawking at it, fantasize fucking him.

Then he pulled me out of my fantasy by saying, "how much sweetener would you like?"

"Put as much as you would for yourself," I said.

I watched as he stirred his coffee. He licked the spoon and then stirred my coffee with it.

"Here," he said handing me the cup.

"Do you always lick the spoon and use it again?" I asked taking a sip.

"I'm sorry. It's a bad habit," he said appogetically.

He took his place back at his desk. With his brows furrowed and skimming over my resume and application.

It says here that the only job you ever had was a cashier and server at McDonald's. For only four months. Why may I, did you quit?"

I looked down at my wrinkly skirt shamefully, and said, " I dropped out of school and ran away from home."

He looked at me. "Do you mind making eye contact with me? I took off my glasses for you."

I took a quick glance at him. "Sorry. I have trouble keeping eye contact with people. I'm kinda shy."

"You don't have yo be shy with me, Ms. Mays. I know come off as intimidating but that's my nature."

"You do have beautiful eyes," I said looking him in the eyes, taking a deep swig of my coffee.

He smirked at me again.

"Thank you. People have told me that. I do want you to feel comfortable with me."

I sat my cup back down.

"Your resume looks like a child scribbled on it."

"Well I would have my oldest sister help me write it but my friend, Ronnie wrote it and filled out my application. She was drunk. I mean dead drunk."

I've notice for your sex it says 'yes, please'.

"Sorry she's very persistant when she's drunk. I didn't know she gotten ahold of my application and would write stuff like that."

"It also says that you would fuck me for the job."

"Oh god, Ronnie. You just ruined my chances for a job," I said blushing with my head down.

"Do you think you could do me a favor?"

"Yes, sir," I said lifting my head up.

"I would like to see your typing skills," he said moving his keyboard to the sid of his desk.

I stood up and walked over to the other side of his desk. His arm was in my way.

"Excuse me, sir," I said seeing his arm in my way.

He didn't move his arm. So I had to bend over and rest my arms and my boobs on his arm. With my boobs on his arm, they spilled out of my bra and my blouse. This was embarrassing and aukward. As I looked at microsoft word on his computer, I saw out of the corner of my eye that he was staring at my boobs and smirking. When I saw his gaze was on the computer screen I began typing random words. It wasn't at a fast speed though. My back began to hurt. So I tried to get comfy, but all I was doing was rubbing my breasts and pressing them harder into his arm. It was making my panties soaking and my core throbbing. I pressed my thighs together and held back moans.

'Oh God, Albert! Just fuck me already!' My mind screamed.

I kept my composure well. I disguised my moan with a throat clearing sound.

"How's that, s-sir," I breathed standing up right.

"Good. Very good, Lindsay," he said straightening my papers. "That's all I want from you. I will call you about your position."

"Ok. Thank you, sir," I said grabbing the cup and finishing the last of my coffee. "Where would you like me to put your cup?"

"Leave it on my desk. I'll get it. Thank you," he said holding his hand out to me.

I took it and shook it. My hand shake was limp and sweaty. His hand shake was firm and dry.

"You can call me, Albert," he said taking the hand sanitizer and squirted some in his palm and rubbing it in.

"May I have some?" I asked holding my palm out to him.

Albert squirted some in my hand and I too rubbed it in.

"Let me guess, sir is your dad?" I asked with a nervous laugh. "Alrighty then. Well thank you for your time."

I Left his office and went to the nearest restroom I could find.

I stepped inside. The room smelled like it was just cleaned. I ran to the last stall and locked the door. I pulled my skirt and panties down and sat on the toilet. I examined my panties. I had made them wet. Or he had me wet. I took my cheap toothbrush that had teeth indentions in it out of my thrift store purse, and put it between my teeth and bit down. I put my finger in my hole and took it out. Then I traced intense circles on my sensitive clit. I inhaled deeply through my nose and exhaled intensely. A moan came a little too loudly as my thighs squeezed together. I slammed my right palm on the wall behind me as my orgasm washed over me. I want to scream Albert's name but holding back my screams was troublesome. I breathed through my mouth in gasps. When I pulled my finger away, I was still feeling that intense orgasm.

"oh god," I whispered to myself, breathing hard. I took my toothbrush out of my mouth. Then I used the toilet. I wiped and flushed. I walked out and went to the sink to wash my hands. I washed my hands, feeling the hot water on my hands. I gotten the liquid soap and lather up my hands. I pretended it was Albert's cum all over my hands.

"Oh Albert, I seem to get your cum all over my hands," I giggled not caring if I was alone or not. Then I rinsed it off before I decided to rub it all over my body. Then I left.

**********

I unlocked my door and opened it. It still reeked of death, urine, and roach and rat feses. I kicked off my shoes and walked over to the bar that seperated the kitchenette from the livingroom/bedroom. I lit the strong vanilla scented candle to mask the disgusting smells. My apartment was disgusting but cheap. I could still see the chalk outline of the man that was shot and killed months ago. There was a dark brown almost black blood stain on the thread-bare carpet and faint pinkish red blood-splattered stains on the wall. I was still finding skull fragments in the carpet when I vacuum. I was embarrassed about having anyone come over but Ronnie. She was the one to help me find something cheap. I can't complain. I tried to make the money my dad gave me last. When it started running low, that was when I applied for working for Albert Wesker. He was nice, but kinda too serious.

I began strippping off my clothes and went tp soak in the tub.

My bathroom didn't smell any better. At least it was clean. As I was about to turn on the water, I found a huge rat scurrying back and forth. I sqeal in horror. I hated sharing my apartment with vermin. He was trapped and couldn't get out. I trapped him in a plastic shopping bag and flung him out of the bathroom window. I noticed the damn thing shit in my tub.

I grabbed my bathrobe and put it on. Then I went into the kitchen and gotten my deluted bleach and papertowls and began scrubbing my tub again. Then I sprayed some stuff in it to get rid of the bleach smell.

After that was done, I drew my bath water. The steam rose up engulfing the whole room in fog. I inhaled deeply through my nose. It didn't stink anymore. I checked the temperature. It was too hot. So I turned on the cold to equal it out. When the temperature was right, I took off my bathrobe and got in.

"Oh yes," I gasped feeling hot water making my whole body tingle. I slid my head underwater wetting my hair. I wish I had epsom salt or soaking in a bubble bath. I grabbed my body wash and washrag, lather it up and cleaned my self up. I decided to put a little extra body wash on my fingers and made slow soothing circles on my clit again. If I scream, at least I was in the privacy of my own bathroom instead of a public restroom.

Soon the fantasy gotten intense and slow circles became fast.

"OH GOD!! ALBERT!!!" I screamed as my orgasm washed over me. I slipped under the water, thrashing around. I screamed underwater, bubbles rising to the surface. Then my cum splattered on the wall. When I was done, I sat up gasping for air. I looked at the wall above the water spout. My cum dribbled down the wall. Then I took my washrag and wiped it off.

'Wow!!' I thought. 'What hold did this man had on me?'

There was a loud knock on my door. I jumped out of my tub, wrapped a towl around me, and ran to the door, crunching roaches dead as I ran. I opened the door a crack.

"Yes," I asked. Then I saw it was Albert. I opened the door forgetting I was in a towl.

"Would you like to come in?" I asked.

He stepped in. "I feel like I've been here before."

"There was murder here."

He saw the chalk outline of the body and the bloody stains on the wall and rug. As he walked further in, he crunched on roaches and stepped on a rat's tail. It started squealing.

"What the -?" He said lifting his boot up.

The rat scurried into a hole in the wall.

"Why do you live here? This place is disgusting."

"The rent is cheap and I'm kinda broke."

"Well Lindsay. I have some great news for you."

"I got the job?!" I asked excitedly.

"Yes. Maybe you can live somewhere better. This is the bad part of town."

"AAAAHHHH!!!!" I screamed, jumping up and down. My towl fell off. I hadn't noticed and I gave him a wet hug. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Albert! I love you!"

He put his hands on my back, rubbing my naked back. I didn't noticed he was smelling my hair or staring at my naked butt.

"Can you start tomorrow?" He asked.

"Yes! Yes. I'll be there bright and early," I said inhaling his cologn through my nose.

When I realized I was hugging him, I backed off. Then I noticed he was looking me up and down.

"What?" I asked. I looked down and saw that I was fully naked. "Oh my god. I am so sorry. I feel embarrassed now."

I had turned a deep shade of red and bent down to grab my towl and put it back on. I could feel the heat from my face. I looked down too embarrassed to look at him.

Albert cleared his throat and said, "I was just in the neighborhood."

"Well thank you. Sorry you had to see my naked body."

"Like I said, I want you to feel comfortable with me."

"I thought you would find me disgustingly fat."

"No. I find you to be very sweet and cute."

My eyes grew wide. I watched him leave my apartment. I was shocked.

**********

The next morning, I arrived half an hour early. I spent the first twenty minutes trying to find the S.T.A.R.S. office. I gotten turned around and lost. I actually wound up outside of the evidence room.

"Can I help you ma'am?"

"Hello. My name is Lindsay Mays. I am Mr. Wesker's secretary," I said, turning around. "And you are?"

"I'm Lieutenant Marvin Banaugh. I'll show you where the S.T.A.R.S. office is. So hard ass Wesker gotten himself a secretary, huh?"

I nodded. I followed him to where I had to go.

"At least you made it this far, Ms. Mays. Don't want you late on your first day, with Wesker. He can be late but he expects everyone else to be on time."

"Is he your boss to?" I asked.

"No. I answer to Chief Irons. He's the Big Cheese around here. Even Wesker has to answer to him."

As he lead me to the office, I asked, "was it Irons idea for Wesker to hire me?"

"I guess. Well Irons has a blond bombshell like Cindy for a secretary."

Before I knew it we were there.

"There's the breakroom and the S.T.A.R.S. office across right there. Good luck Ms. Mays. Hopefully Wesker will be a little nicer with you. That is HOPEFULLY."

"Thank you, Lieutenant Banaugh," I said as he began walking off.

I had some time to kill and went into the breakroom. I gotten two styrofoam cups full of coffee. It was strong and very bitter. As I stepped out of the breakroom there was pretty brunette in blue wearing a matching berette, a brunette guy in a green vest, a man with a red brown molet and sporting a blue vest over a sleeveless white shirt, and another man wearing a red durag.

"Hi. I'm Lindsay."

"Hi. I'm Chris Redfield. This is Jill Valentine, Joseph Frost, and Forest Speyer. By the way you're dressed, you're either a secretary or a receptionist."

"I'm a secretary for-"

"Maybe Marvin needs a secretary," Forest said putting his arm around my shoulders, spilling my coffee.

"Maybe she's Enrico's secretary," Joseph said pushing Forest's arm off and draping his his arm around my shoulders.

"No. I am Wesker's secretary," I said shrugging his arm off.

Everyone stared at me in shock.

"No offense, honey, but Wesker is a hard ass. He'll get fed up with you in a heart beat and give you the boot," Forest said.

"So I've heard," I said.

"Speak of the devil," Chris said.

I looked up to find Albert walking toward us.

"Are you harrassing my secretary?" Albert asked with a pissed off look.

"No, sir," Forest said backing up in fear.

Everyone knew to stay out of his way. They were afraid of him. He walked over to the office and unlocked the door.

"Get in cretins," he barked. The three men and Jill rushed in.

He turned to me with a bow, holding the door open for me and said, "after you, my dear."

I walked in and went straight to his office. I tried the door but it was locked. Albert strolled in. He glared at his team who just looked at him with utter fear.

"Did you had to wait long for me?"

"I gotten here half an hour early. I gotten lost on the way."

He chuckled and said, " yes this place can turn you around if you're not familiar."

He held the door open for me again. I stepped inside. I've gotten you some coffee from the breakroom."

"Through it way. I have my own. How can you drink that?"

"Like my grandpa used to say, 'strong coffee, good whiskey, and chewing tobacco will put hair on your chest'," I said with a nervous laugh.

He just stared at me and pointed to the trash can. I walked over to the trash can and threw both cups in. Albert walked over to his coffee pot and began making a pot. I didn't know why I threw my cup in there too. Maybe he was just brewing the whole pot for himself.

"Do you mind if I get some more coffee from the breakroom?"

"You'd rather drink that than the good stuff?"

"I thought that was your coffee, sir."

"I'm sharing my coffee with you, and my name is Albert."

My eyes went wide like I wanted to cry, and my bottom lip began to quiver. I walked over to Albert and threw my arms around his waist.

"Please don't give me the boot, Albert. Chris said you would if I made you mad. I love you!"

He wrapped his arm me tightly.

"Lindsay, baby. I am not going to fire you," He said pulling me off of him and bent down. "Don't cry. I didn't mean to upset you, darling."

"Y-you're not?"

"No. You're too important to me. So be a good girl and go do some work and I'll make you a cup of coffee."

I nodded feeling some tears running down my cheeks, my mascara running. He took some tissues and wiped away my tears and fixed my mascara.

"Don't cry anymore, darling. It breaks my heart. Will you be alright?" He asked kissing me on the forehead.

I nodded.

He stood back up, and took some papers he had in his hand and playfully swatted my butt.

I smiled as I went to the table he had set up for me.

'That was a weird moment,' I thought to myself. He called me baby and darling, kissed me on my forehead, and playfully spanked my butt with his paperwork. 'Did he like me to?' I thought.

Albert walked over and turned on the desktop computer for me and gave me some stuff to type up for him. Then he walked over to the coffeepot and made two cups of coffee with his hazlenut creamer and splenda. He licked the spoon before he stirred my coffee with it again. He sat my cup on my table. He went to his desk and went to work.

I typed up the reports. Then I felt heat. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and caught him staring at me over the top of his sunglasses and his computer. When I turned to look at him he quickly flipped through his paperwork and typed on his computer to act like he was busy.

I turned back to my work again. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and caught him doing it again. I could had swore he was smirking. He seem kind of flirty. So tried to concentrate on my work and sipping my coffee. I tried to make it last in case that was all I was allowed to have.

A knock sounded on the door which caused me to jump. I looked up and saw him chuckling and shaking his head. I knew he saw me jump.

"Come in!" He called.

In came a hot blonde with big perky breasts in a tight button down top. At least three buttons undone to show them off. A tight short skirt to show off her round butt. She was tan and wore gaudy gold jewlery and bright make-up that made her look even sexier.

"Mr. Wesker, I have your team's assignments here," she said handing him manilla folders.

I watched them. I was feeling majorly jealous of her. He never once looked at her. He kept his attention on his computer screen. Or he wanted me to think that. He did after all kept his sunglasses on. I did notice he looked serious and annoyed.

"Thank you, Cindy. You may leave now." He still hadn't looked up.

I also noticed he didn't playfully swat at her butt like he did me.

"Yes sir." And she was gone.

As soon as the door closed, Albert walked over to my table half sat on the table half stood, His boot swaying. I could see his muscular juicy thigh. It made my heart pound in my ears. God, I wanted him.

"Are jealiou of her?"

"No," I lied. "You're single, you can do whatever you want."

"I don't like her. She's fake."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Fake breasts, fake butt, spray-on tan, ugly gaudy jewlery, loud make-up, bottle blonde hair. Just to name a few. So you shouldn't be jealous of her. I'll be right back. Will you be fine by yourself?"

I nodded, drinking my now cold coffee.

"Good," he said playfully swatting my arm.

I smiled. I think he had been flirting with me all morning long.

He left. Now I could finally get some work done. I figured he was a distraction. I snuck a peek through the blinds as he talked to his team then passed out their assignments. They looked them over quickly then left.

He had reentered his office. Albert bent down near my ear and said, "I'm back." I could feel his hot breath on my neck as he kissed it.

"Albert, you're my boss. We shouldn't be doing this," I said as he planted more kisses on my neck.

He stood straight up, leaving me wanting more. "We're alone now. Peace and quiet for at least an hour."

"Yeah." I was curious why he began kissing me.

"Sorry. I can't seem to control myself when I'm around you. Seeing you naked yesterday drove me wild. I wanted to fuck you right there."

I stared at him in shock.

"As soon as I gotten home I pleasured myself thinking about you."

I was still shell shock.

"Would you like to have some fun?"

I smirked at him and asked, "What did you have in mind?"

"You'll see." He took a large ring of keys out of his pocket and unlocked a locked drawer.

I couldn't see what he gotten out, but it sounded he was opening a box, and him scraping plastic on the box. Then I heard what sounded like the plastic crinkling and tearing apart.

I was becoming curious of what he was doing. I wanted to ask but decided against it. He had closed the box and locked the drawer back up.

Albert grabbed a uv light off the filing cabinet. He tapped my desk with his finger. I looked at him as he stood by the door. He made a 'follow me' gesture with his head.

I gotten up and followed him out the door. My heart began pounding and my stomach was doing cartwheels. I was feeling nervous and excited at the same time.

"Are you planning on pranking someone?" I asked nervously.

"No. I'm not going to tell you until we get there."

"It's a surprise?"

"Mmhm. Do you like surprises, darling?"

"Yes."

He took to the top floor where there wasn't a soul around. He stopped in front of a dusty door. Albert took his keys out to unlock it. I had noticed that something fell out of his pocket.

'What's this?' I thought to myself examining it. 'Oh my god! This is a condom! Is he planning to have sex with me?'

I hid it in my hands. He opened the door and lead me in then closed it behind us. I followed him to the back part. It looked like a store room. There was a double mattress lying on the floor. He took the uv light, turned it on and skimmed the mattress with it. It was covered what looked like cum.

He looked at me over his shoulder and said, "We're not the only ones that's been here."

He flipped the mattress over and checked it. It was dusty but at least it was clean. I looked down at it nervously. Then I looked at him in the dim light. Albert had turned the uv light off and place it on a crate, stacked against the wall along with his keys. Then he searched his pocket for the condom.

"Now where did I put it?"

"I got it," I said giving it to him.

"Thank you," he said giving me a kiss on the lips. "Take off your clothes and lay down."

I began to undress, feeling uncomfortable. I hid my breasts and my vagina with my arm and hand. He began unbuckling his belt, undoing the button and pulling his zipper down. Then he pulled his boxers and pants down.

I gasped at his size. 'Oh god! I want that in me so bad.'

"Lindsay, don't hide from me. I want your body and that tight little cunt of yours. I want you to want me as well."

"I want you to, Albert. I've wanted you since I met you. Which was yesterday."

I saw his dick. I hurried up and laid down on my back.

"I'm ready for you, Albert," I said bending my knees and spreading my legs wide.

He took off his fingerless gloves and placed them on a nearby crate. He then took the condom and tore into the wrapper. Then pulled out a rubber ring. He slowly pulled the ring down the shaft. Seeing how big he was made my core throb and made me wet.

"Oh Albert. Come here. I want you."

He let his pants and boxers fall. Then laid down on beside me. He put two fingers in my already wet pussy.

"How's that?"

"Oh Albert! You're going to make me cum!"

He smirked as he hit my G spot. When he took his fingers, he traced wet circles on my clit.

My eyes widen, then he stopped.

"Why did you stop, baby?" I asked disappointedly.

"I don't want you to cum yet."

He climbed on top of me, licking his fingers.

"Mmm. You taste so good. I want more."

I wrapped my legs around his waist as he gently inserted his dick into my desperate little pussy.

"Albert!" I said as he thrusted into me.

"Cum for me, darling," he whispered into my ear.

I kept up until he quickened his pace. I had my arms around his neck, moaning and breath. Then he put his hands under my butt cheeks and lifted me into his lap.

I could feel the sweat pouring down my body. This time I cummed. He did to. We looked into each other's.

"Oh god. You're so beautiful. I want you."

I smiled as we both laid down on the mattress together. I laid in his arms as close to him as I could.

"I want you to live with me. I don't want you to live in that god forsaken place anymore."

"We've only known each other since yesterday. I think you're moving a bit too fast," I said sitting up.

"I love you, Lindsay. I can't stand not being with you."

"I want to be with you to,"

He stood up, peeling off the condom, knotted it up, and threw it in a trash can with the other used condoms. He quickly gotten dressed and I did the same. I double checked to make sure my clothes weren't inside out. Then we left. We headed back to Albert's office before his team came back.

**********

When we were back in his office, he made coffee like nothing had happen.

"Want some more?" He asked. "Your coffee must be cold by now."

"Yes, please," I said handing him a nearly empty cup.

He took it and made me another cup.

"You are always welcomed. How did you like the sex?"

"It was hot. You fulfilled my fantasies. If I move in with you, will I get more of that?"

He smirked and nodded. Then we heard chatter.

Albert rolled his eyes and said, "there goes our peace and quiet."

To Be Cont.

[unicorpseboi]

Aw shit I think my former manager was gaslighting me after he found out I’m schizoaffective and in remission.

I haven’t been able to trust myself with money counting ever since quitting this job 4 years ago, and it just hit me that I think that motherfucker did this on purpose. Second summer coming back to this fireworks store, love the owner, the love the day manager, loved my coworkers, it was a really great job. I was brought back that year as a cashier supervisor, lower tier management, I was in charge of all cash registers and I b was damn good at my job. Karen’s couldn’t pull their shit, my cashiers were the most well trained the owner had seen, he even gave me his code for bypassing shit in the computer he trusted me so much.

Notice how I said day manager? There was a different closing/night manager. On top of the fact this dude was transphobic af towards me (a thing that shook ALL of us to our core, given there was no issue the previous year when I was an associate and this guy was just a back room stocker) I swear this dude was trying to get me fired. He was pissed that he had to train me on closing procedures as per the owners request.

I didn’t have a single accurate count on my cashier drawers once. Scratch that, I did. Until he started training me. And mysteriously every time my drawers would be off, he’d tell me to put it in and we’d fix it in the morning and either the owner would mysteriously find all the money in the drawer, or he would recount it after sending me home and it would be fixed.

Here’s why I think he was doing it on purpose and what u think he was doing: already transphobic, number one problem right there. I know he didn’t like closing with me but that was my shift bruh idk what to say I’ve always worked closing there. There was an incident that was especially wired, where it kinda confirmed in my mind this guy is taking cash out of my drawers to make me look bad. One of my cashiers couldn’t give a lady her $18.37 in change before the customer darted out of the store. Whatever, no big deal, me and the morning manager did a count of the drawer to make sure it was otherwise accurate (it was) then we made a sticky note with the amount over to expect it to be that night. Even logged it so technically once my count was perfectly correct. Later that night, someone took $15.75 from the drawer because the amount over at the end was all over the place. Closing manager even “helped” and I think he realized he might’ve fucked up when he saw we had put the count earlier in the system cuz suddenly I found five more dollars recounting. I texted the owner, and honestly said I think someone is taking money from my register when he left for the day. Sure enough the next morning the entire extra amount was back. (Note, even though I was supposed to learn proper closing I never once did cuz this guy would send me home to finish up whatever shit he was pulling after successfully giving me another panic attack).

Idk if the owner actually looked into what he was doing but after that incident the guy made my life a living hell and pushed me to the point where I had a breakdown and a seizure on the floor while working. I knew it was shitty, I knew it was some kind of hostile retaliation but I was not gonna risk my psychosis staying in remission to prove it, so I unfortunately had to quit the best job I’ve ever had on the spot. Could not return, did not pass go. I haven’t been able to trust myself working a job that handles money ever since. (Also didn’t have insurance at the time so I couldn’t just hop and skip over to the psychiatrist to get put back on my meds or change doses around, where did you think I lived? A first world developed nation? Naw dog, dying empire collapsing around us America is my prison for life cuz I’m disabled and can’t afford to move let alone find another country that would accept me since schizophrenia/schizo conditions automatically disqualify you from most countries when applying for visas or citizenship or asylum, fun fact)

How about we don’t gaslight and manipulate the schizophrenic just for funsies y’all?? I did love the doubling down even after the opening manager also got sus of CM’s bullshit. Gaslight gatekeep girlboss your way to the top, Jarred. You go queen! You bullied a schizophrenic for *checks notes* working the same shift with you. Get fucked Jarred.

[binders-and-beanies]

Military discount at hot topic is the most hilarious thing like “oh goodie I murdered enough civilians to unlock 10% off my anime bobblehead. Oh what’s that I get an additional 30% off for having an account that sends 0 notifications, costs nothing, hands out an ass ton of free money for nothing and lets the cashier keep their job? Fuck you fuck your job fuck your discounts fuck your store. Anyway did you apply my 10% bc that looks a little expensive still. Did I mention how much I love my little imperialism cartoons”

[beachcavejim]

Trading Standards,Violence and Stupidity

It all started on a cold and frosty Friday morning. I had managed to get help writing up a CV in order to apply for work and handed it out in various locations, a small newspaper shop got back to me the same day. After arriving for what i thought was an informal chat about the job i was whisked behind the till and told that the job is cash in hand £6 per hour ,this is significantly lower than standard minimum wage. I was a bit freaked out at this as its clearly not legal but i really really needed some extra money in my pocket, especially since i have always refused to sit in a doorway and beg people for there money, it feels so shameful and i just cant bring myself to ask people like that. So after being yanked behind the till and shown how to use it in a very quick and simplified way, i was left alone in the shop to do a 6 hour shift, this got incredibly stressful very quickly for a multitude of reasons including not being shown how to use the lottery ticket machine or pay out scratchcards , how to change the paper in the card reader,the till and the lottery machine, also not shown how to refund a card purchase in case of accidental overcharge or even what the refund policy was if they even had one haha. The first 3-4 hours passed by quite smoothly ,the only thing that annoyed me was the amount of children trying to get me to sell them vape pens. I bent over to tie my shoe and when i stood up straight again, there she was , the boss of all Karen's. As she stood there you could feel the disgust and eagerness to complain about something on her breath, those insanely wide eyes filled with fire and rage to the point she was almost trembling, she had the classic Karen hairstyle and along with that she had five children in tow, God knows if they were all from the same father but i very much doubted it. That is when she began to speak , i could smell the vodka and cigarettes on her breath instantly from the first words out of her mouth that was also pierced in many places that she clearly never cleaned since they were saturated with crusty yellow stuff all around them. Her voice filled the entire shop as she began to scream. "WHY DIDNT YOU SELL MY SON A VAPE HE DOSENT NEED ID BECAUSE HE HAS MY PERMISSION TO USE THEM, SELL ME THAT ONE RIGHT NOW!" she said, pointing to a box of vapes behind the counter. I tried to explain that just because he has your permission does not mean i can break the law and serve them to a minor. So in comes the second round of shouting and screaming, by this point all of her kids were wrecking the shop , picking everything up and just dropping it on the floor. The second bit went something like this. "WELL IM NOT A MINOR SO SELL IT TO ME , OR I WILL CALL TRADING STANDARDS OUT TO INVESTIGATE YOUR SHOP YOUR JUST A DUMB CASHIER ANYWAY , YOU MUST BE STUPID IF YOUR WORKING HERE ,I BET YOUR POOR TOO" So i begin to try and explain that i cant lawfully serve her for a product that is for people over 18 years old when i have reasonable cause to think that it will be given to a minor , then the 3rd go in the vodka and ciggies scented wind tunnel starts. " WELL FUCK YOU , IM CALLING TRADING STANDARDS , YOUR GONNA GET FIRED FROM YOUR STUPID JOB , I HOPE YOU LOSE IT ,I HOPE YOU SUFFER AND LOSE YOUR HOUSE , I HOPE YOU DIE"

She then stormed out of the shop screaming more insults at me, the only things going through my mind at that point were that trading standards wont give a shit what she says because i did the correct thing by not serving her so knew i was fine there, secondly i was thinking "you hope i lose my house? your a bit late that happend in 2013, thirdly was to try super hard with grounding techniques as to not fly off the rails into a manic PTSD episode because when this happens it puts not only me in danger but possibly other memebers of the public too. So i closed the shop shutter for 5 minuets to gather myself and calm down a little. After doing this i opend the shutter again , it was open no more than 5 seconds when a guy comes in screaming me down claiming i told his wife to fuck off and die after she tried to buy a vape, she had clearly just told him i said to her what she said to me because she knew she was in the wrong or she wouldnt of needed to lie. This was incredibly scary having been the victim of multiple violent attacks , one of which i got stabbed in and nearly died , as well as SA on multiple occasions, these attacks are the cause of my extremely bad PTSD. So when this guy came in i was so scared it was gonna be another attack and i was sadly right, it was another attack, he jumped behind the counter and grabbed a fist full of my hair , it was very long because i can rarely afford a haircut. He then proceeded to slam my head into the tobacco stand behind me several times before punching me in the face multiple times , by this point my mouth was pouring with blood with teeth all over the floor , i was then thrown to the ground before he ran off, strangly he didnt steal anything. After i regained conciousness properly i just shut the shop early and went to the hospital , i was severly concussed and i kept getting confused and lost even though i knew the hospital was only 20 mins walk away it took 2 hours to get there, they couldnt do anything for me apart from asess the head injury to make sure there wasnt a brain bleed then sent me on my way with instructions to visit the dental hospital as soon as i can, so now half my top row of teeth are totally gone forever, Talk about a crazy first day lol, i never went back. i hope you enjoyed reading this one , dont be afraid to use the ask me anything button on my page , this will be good to think of ideas for the next one , im thinking about one of my tales of when i was in rehab or one about some of the mad situations i ended up in during my LSD binge back in 2014, im 708 days clean from drugs and alcohol today , still sucks to be homeless tho. love to you all JIM

[thatstormygeek]

I wish someone had warned me that it really doesn’t always get better.

Like, in high school, I did allllll the things. Mostly, I enjoyed them. But it was also Common Knowledge™ that if you wanted to go to college, you had to be super involved in all the stuff in high school.

Dance team. Marching band. Theater – both on stage and backstage work. Soccer. Honors and AP classes. National Honor Society. Volunteering in the community. Submitting pieces for the literature magazine. Trying out for city-wide band. Participating in the state solo and ensemble festival. And maintaining the obligatory 4.0+ GPA.

Now, I did end up with a full-ride scholarship to college. But it wasn’t something I applied for, so I don’t know how much of that influenced the decision and how much of it was because I came from a rather poor area and poor high school, economically speaking, and it made the trio of people in charge of making the decision feel good about themselves, offering a less-privileged student the opportunity to attend that particular private college without going tens of thousands of dollars into debt.

What I do know is that a hell of a lot of high schoolers have pretty much my exact resume—if not better—and didn’t get their university paid for. So.

I continued overcommitting myself throughout college, blithely pushing past any limits my body tried to put into place. In high school, the goal was college. In college, the goal was a good job. I graduated with top honors…and ended up working as a cashier at Walmart.

But the drive to overachieve was solidly baked in by that point. Over and over, I’d get a job or join a social group and end up piling more and more responsibility on myself.

And now? Now I’m fucking tired. Just exhausted.

There was always a new goal, some shiny ring to reach for that required me to burn the candle at both ends while also melting the fucking middle. As the years have passed, new obligations have piled up on the old ones. Rarely do any of them drop off.

And that’s the part that sucks. They tell you “just do this and that will happen” and never bother to warn you that, not only is the “that” not guaranteed, but there is no “just.” You do the things and then you keep doing them and oh, right, there’s this thing you have to do now, and oh this other thing, too. And so on and so on and so fucking on.

Until you look up one day and you’re in your 40s and you barely have the energy to get out of bed, but people are relying on you and animals are relying on you and there’s no end in sight as long as you are breathing. And you don’t want to die, but you need a fucking rest.

There is no better. There is just more.

[clemsimunch]

OK.

Hi ! My name Is Clémentine! I'm an high-school AND college drop out from Belgium 🇧🇪

I self taught myself math science and shit to get my high school diploma to start biomedical science studies but turns out the school system is just not made for my brain 🙃

So 3 months ago I decided to drop out and tbh I've been really happy and really scared ever since.

I have a part-time job as a cashier rn but it's not enough to pay the bills so I returned to my mom's house

Problem : For the last 5 years, every psychiatrist I've been to has concluded the same thing; staying with my mother is toxic for me.

It's hard. I do really love my mom and my mom loves me but our relation is just destroying me and she doesn't wanna accept that so it won't get any better any time soon.

Solution: leaving the nest. I had a dorm for college, and tbh most of the time, I was thriving. If it wasn't for school, I was really happy to have my autonomy and shit.

My life has been a shit show for the past 11 years and tbh I really want a clean slate so I looked into leaving belgium and be on my own in another country !

Turns out as a EU citizen it's not hard to move to another EU country and as the depressed and cold person that I am I always wanted to move towards the north.

So after some looking into Finland Sweden Norway and Denmark I threw my interest at Sweden.

I, 21 F, am actively looking to move to Sweden with barely a high-school diploma in my pocket, and I dont know Swedish, of course.

The only thing I got going for me is the fact that I'm bilingual French and English and that I learn very fast.

Also, I'm motivated to work ? I discovered with my cashier work that I loved feeling useful and having things to do.

My mother obviously has no idea I'm planning this move. She would never agree to it. She has good and bad reasons for being overprotective of me but still, I'm a 21 year old woman in this fuxking shit show of a world and I wanna try and fail at things and have no regrets.

Last year me would not have the audacity to do this but one thing I did that changed my mind was last September I went to Madrid for a week all on my own. No friends no family just me.

I was so afraid that I would be bored and not like it but I was sick of waiting for the perfect opportunity with the right person to do things so I took a leap of faith and I loved it !

I dont think I've ever had a better vacation, and it's mostly because it was just mine, and I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. If I wanted to stay in bed, I could. If I wanted to walk the streets of Madrid at 6 a.m., I could.

Now being back at my mom's I can see how being here is toxic to me. Being dependent is a burden on both sides.

So I applied for a job in Stockholm and I'll apply to more until I get something and I'll leave.

I only have 3 friends and 2 of them live 3 hours away from where I live anyway so it won't change much. They're all supportive of me. Seeing that made me so happy I cried ahah. I just thought, "My mom would never."

Right now, I'm a 21 year old chronically depressed woman with crippling anxiety and attachment issues who can't stay sane without 40 mg of fluoxetine a day.

I dont think moving will fix everything but taking my life in my own hands getting a full time job and seeing a therapist could definitely help.

Life's fucking scary but we'll all die anyway so do what's best for you.

[jenniferstit]

.