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pastanest · 1 year

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<— masterlist for previous/next chapters —>

A/N: if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post

warning: mentions of suicidal thoughts

Dont Say Goodbye - Chapter Four: Listen, It’s The Voice Of Reason.

Things are a little awkward between you and Daryl when you step out of your cell the next morning. Despite nothing new being revealed, merely addressing the rift between you is enough to change everything. Up until now, the two of you have somewhat picked up your friendship from where it left off, like those years of absence never happened, because neither of you wanted to talk about the in between, you just wanted to enjoy being back in each other’s presence for a little while. Now, it’s floating alongside you whenever you’re with him, it’s breathing down your neck and presumably his whenever you’re apart, making you sweat and fidget with the weight of the unsaid. You never thought you’d see the day where you enjoyed standing at a fence and stabbing walkers - which is the common lingo for the dead amongst these people, you’ve learnt - but it’s a lot easier to deal with these feelings on your own than when he’s there.

This morning, Daryl asked you if you were alright with Aurora going up to the watchtower with him. Obviously, the idea of your four year old daughter being up at that height didnt thrill you, but you knew that she would be safe with Daryl, and that Aurora would much rather hang out with Daryl than anyone else; she has really connected with him in the short time they’ve known each other. So, you made her promise that she would stay sitting against the wall and she would not venture towards the edge, and Daryl promised you he would make sure she kept her promise.

“Mister Daryl-“

“Ya dont gotta call me that.” Daryl cuts off the little girl, hesitant to admit that he actually really enjoys her company.

For the entirety of yesterday morning, all he heard was questions directed to ‘Mister Daryl’ and he didnt have the heart to tell her she doesnt need to refer to him like he’s some figure of authority. He cant deny it was somewhat endearing, and as mildly irritating as it was to be bombarded with questions about every flower or crop they walked by, every cloud she saw, every bird, and every goddamn tree, he found those questions somewhat endearing, too.

“Okay. What do I gotta call you?” Aurora asks, copying his exact phrasing, which tugs at Daryl’s heart strings enough for him to take his gaze away from the view ahead and look over his shoulder at her as she sits against the wall with her legs crossed, staring at him with a serious and curious frown.

“Jus’ Daryl.” He clarifies, turning back to the view ahead, focussing his attention back on his job as he readjusts his forearms against the railing.

“Okay. Daryl, is that a crossbow?” Aurora questions, and Daryl nods.

Though he wonders how such a young girl recognises a weapon by name, he doesnt ask, because part of him doesnt want to know, in case she learnt it from whoever the hell her dad is. The last thing Daryl wants to think about is you and some random prick talking about his preferred hunting weapon.

But unfortunately for Daryl, a four year old doesnt need to be prompted to carry on talking.

“My favourite bedtime stories are the ones about the crossbow man.” Aurora says, somewhat absentmindedly, and somehow she knows how to say just enough to get Daryl interested, but not enough to give a full explanation, meaning he has questions to ask her now.

“Who’s the crossbow man?” He really, really hopes that Aurora isnt about to go into a long, detailed story about her father.

Just focus on the wind, the horizon, the fields, some zen shit. Maybe if he focuses hard enough, he can tune Aurora out like he effortlessly manages to tune out everyone else. But deep down, Daryl knows he doesnt want to do that, because this little girl already reminds him so much of you. An echo to a child long forgotten, who wore his brother’s oversized hand-me-downs and constantly trailed after the girl that had that damn smile.

“He doesnt have a name, he’s from Mama’s stories. She has a lot of stories about him. She says that when she was a li’l older than me, she got lost in the woods a lot, and the crossbow man would come save her. But he was a kid then, too. He has a super cool bike, and she used to like riding on the back. But those ones arent my favourites.” Aurora’s lack of description leaves much to be desired, but Daryl cant help recognising those details. There’s only one way to know for sure.

“Wha’s yer favourite story?”

In fairness, two seventeen year olds getting fake ID’s to sneak into a bar, probably wasnt yours or Daryl’s smartest idea. It wasnt like the two of you needed a bar to get access to alcohol, the first time you’d gotten drunk you and Daryl were far from the legal age, but what else would two teenagers do in the empty house of an alcoholic while said-alcoholic was off with some waitress? Daryl was hardly going to regret his first taste of alcohol when it landed him his first and only kiss with you, which happened in a drunken mess of giggles about wanting to be each other’s first kiss. But, the two of you were only fourteen then, and three years later you went looking for the authentic drinking experience. Obviously, you wouldnt dream of venturing to a bar without Daryl, and your faith in him somewhat blinded you to the danger.

When some sleazy middle aged bastard came up too close behind you and touched your waist, you flinched towards Daryl, who abruptly ended his conversation with the barman to scowl at the guy next to you.

“Back up, man.” Daryl warned, voice cold as he gently took ahold of your hand and moved you to stand behind him.

“Or what?” The creep tested, sneering down at your protector, who he was stupid enough to view as nothing more than a kid. Some scruffy redneck who’d pick a fight just to lose it. Anyone who thought that of Daryl Dixon back then was bound to regret it.

“My favourite part is what the crossbow man says to the man right then! The crossbowman says ‘or, I’ll shove your head so far up your ass that your wife will be kissing shit stains, but something tells me she wont see a difference’!” Aurora giggles excitedly at the line she’s memorised, she even recites it with an accent that sounds like Daryl’s. He considers telling her not to cuss, but he decides to let it slide, because technically it’s his cussing that she’s replicating, and he cant really fault her for that.

“Anyways, after that the crossbow man beats up the creepy guy, but that makes the bad man’s friends come over. And Mama goes and calls for help, and the crossbow man’s sidekick comes and helps.”

Daryl struggles to hold back a laugh at that, but the smile that breaks across his face is impossible to hide. You referred to Merle as his sidekick? Oh, if Merle was still around to hear that, it’d make Daryl’s whole year.

“And the crossbow man’s sidekick helps them get outta there, and then Mama and the crossbow man walk through the woods together back to Mama’s house.”

Daryl remembers that walk to your place like it was yesterday, Aurora’s narration perfectly coincides with the replay going on in his head.

He couldnt tell if it was the sun or his own fury, but his entire body was burning. He was so angry that day, angry at you for calling Merle, angry that he couldnt win the fight on his own, angry that the fight he couldnt win was one that he was fighting to protect you. And of course, you knew all of that, and you also knew Daryl wouldnt listen to a single word you said, so you both walked back to your family home in complete silence, except for the lingering sounds of various bugs flying through the Georgian heat. The path back to your place was a mixture of street and woodlands, and you did your best to keep Daryl away from walking along the side of the road when he had a black eye, a split eyebrow, and bleeding knuckles. If a cop happened to drive by and see him, if his dad happened to drive by...it was your job to keep him safe in every way that you could, and you always made sure to hold yourself to that.

“Nobody else was in Mama’s house, so they didnt have to sneak through the window that time.” The kid explains, like Daryl doesnt know the story inside and out.

Your house being empty had been a massive relief considering Daryl’s injuries; he’d been limping all the way there, but that was a detail he didnt like to remember, it made him feel weak.

“Mama took care of the crossbow man, and then they had a sleepover, ‘cause the crossbow man’s dad wasnt very nice.” Hearing a child summarise one of his own memories is up there with the strangest experiences Daryl has ever had.

But Aurora is absolutely right, you did take care of him, you always did.

He sat on the edge of the bathtub while you rushed around, gathering supplies to patch him up and clean his wounds, while he focussed on calming himself down. With you right in front of him, safe and showing him the kind of love that only you ever did, it didnt take Daryl long to forget his anger. All he had to do was focus on the colour of your eyes, your concentrated frown as you cleaned his wounds and then the soft glances you’d give him as an apology for hurting him in the process. Your hand sometimes went to rest on his knee when you fixed him up, and that made Daryl’s body feel hot for an entirely different reason. You held his gaze, and then you held his hands, so familiar with cleaning his bloody knuckles that you didnt even need to look at them to do it, you just gave him that damn smile, because you knew it would distract him. It always did.

“Why’s that one yer favourite?” He asks the little girl, wondering what could possibly appeal to a four year old about that story.

Glancing over his shoulder, Daryl notices that Aurora isnt even looking at him, she’s playing with a stick she’s found.

“Because I think it’s one of Mama’s favourites too, she really likes to tell that one. It makes her face pink.”

Daryl cant help smirking at that as he turns his head back to where he’s supposed to be looking, but his eyes happen to drift down to the fence.

“Daryl?” Aurora calls, and he hums in response, too caught up in thoughts of you to prepare himself for her next question, but as soon as she says it, he knows he couldnt have prepared himself if he tried.

“Do you have a dad?” It’s such a strange question, and had anyone else asked it, Daryl would’ve been suspicious as to why they were asking, but when it’s coming from a kid, he knows the intention isnt to belittle him.

“Did have one, but he’s gone.”

Aurora processes his answer the same way she processes everything else: without much thought. “Was your dad nice?”

That definitely pulls Daryl away from thoughts of you, and he fixes his gaze on the horizon. “No. Was yers?” He regrets it as soon as it leaves his lips, but he just wants the conversation off of his own childhood as quickly as possible.

“I dont have a dad, just my mama.” Aurora says simply, but she sounds a little sad about it, like she feels she’s missing out on something but she doesnt know what.

The response confuses Daryl, and he immediately feels terrible for not asking her about her father sooner, now knowing that he has never been in her life. If her dad had left or died when Aurora was old enough to remember, she would have said something different, she would have said he was gone, or added some detail to the description of the dad she remembered. But she doesnt remember him, because he was never there. Guilt swirls in Daryl’s stomach, making him feel sick for holding a grudge against you over something he had clearly known nothing about. Of all people, he shouldnt make assumptions about you like that. You deserve better. And you deserve better than whatever asshole didnt stick around to raise his kid.

“Daryl?” A little voice pulls him from his thoughts again, and Daryl hums once more. “You should think up a nickname for me.”

This causes the crossbowman to frown, and he turns around completely to face your daughter. “Why?”

Aurora shrugs. “Mama calls me Roar, and you should call me something too. You cant just call me what everyone else calls me, we’re best friends, it doesnt work if you do that.”

How could words as sweet and innocent as that not make Daryl smile?

“Since when are you ‘n’ me best friends?” He asks, but he makes it very obvious in his tone of voice that he’s joking.

Aurora beams up at him. “Since now!”

Daryl chuckles. “Alright, wha’d ya want me to call you, then?”

Aurora rolls her eyes dramatically, exactly like you do. “The whole point is that you have to come up with it! After lunch, Im gonna go hang out with Carol again, give you some time to think about it. By tomorrow, I expect results.”

Daryl can tell that she is absolutely just reciting words and phrases that she’s heard from you in entirely different settings, and trying to apply them in a way that makes sense to her, while also making her sound like a professional four year old as she points her stick at him. And the crossbow man is hardly in the position to disagree with his new best friend.

Throughout the morning, you’ve noticed Maggie slowly travelling from one end of the fence to the other, edging her way closer to you. Naturally, you were curious about her intentions, but when she ends up right beside you and doesnt give you more than a smile as a greeting, you put your curiosity to rest.

Stretching your arms out, you sigh, feeling your elbows and shoulders aching from practising the same stabbing action all morning.

Maggie chuckles. “You get used to it eventually.

You smile at her. “As fun as this job is-“ Your sarcasm brings another laugh from Maggie. “-I dont think it’s my calling.”

She wiggles her eyebrows. “Would your calling have somethin’ to do with Daryl, by any chance?”

Your eyes widen, darting up to the watchtower and seeing him scowling off into the distance, like the dramatic star of an action movie. Realising that Maggie is clearly onto you, you sigh in defeat.

“Is it that obvious?” The embarrassment almost pains you, you never imagined you’d so easily be transported back to the mindset of a lovesick teenager.

Maggie smiles at you sympathetically. “It wont be to him, so try not to worry. You knew him before, right?”

You nod, the two of you nonchalantly continuing to stab through animated corpses as you talk.

“Yeah, since we were kids.”

Maggie’s eyes widen. “Sheesh, I can only imagine that man with uncontrollable hormones.”

You stop what you’re doing and stare at Maggie, your jaw almost hitting the floor, and it takes a second for her to register what she just said and she stares right back at you, until the both of you burst into howling laughter that leaves you hunched over.

“I meant mood swings! Not that!” Maggie clarifies, and you nod along as you wipe your tears, having guessed what she’d been intending to refer to, but still finding the alternative endlessly hilarious.

“Well, to be honest it was a challenge to deal with both…” Your gazes lock, and shocked silence falls, you unable to believe what you just admitted and Maggie stunned by the revelation, before you’re both wheezing and crying all over again.

The two of you are still wiping away tears as you venture to the serving table for lunch. Just when one of you calms down, you look back at the other and lose it again. Inside jokes, you’d forgotten about those, too.

As soon as Maggie spots Daryl leaving the watchtower with Aurora at his side, she disappears to find Glenn, making sure that you have no choice but to talk with Daryl after the conversation you just had. With nobody currently at the serving table with Carol, and a decent distance to cross before Daryl and Aurora reach you, you decide to go and talk with the woman that reminds you oddly of yourself.

“Do you enjoy serving people meals everyday?” You ask her curiously, and Carol laughs.

“Nothing could bring me more joy!” She says sarcastically, causing you to chuckle, and you’re about to ask her something else, but Carol seems to have questions of her own. “You and Maggie looked like a pair of giggling schoolgirls, what was that about?”

You smile at her. “Oh, nothing, just stupid stuff.”

Carol raises an eyebrow. “Would that stupid stuff have anything to do with Daryl, by any chance?”

You bury your face in your hands, shaking your head. “Jesus, does everybody know!?!”

Carol gives you a sweet smile. “Everyone here knows Daryl, and he’s never willingly sat down to eat with anyone, let alone after only being in their presence for a day!”

You cross your arms over your chest, nodding and glancing to the side to make sure Daryl isnt in earshot. “It’s not like Im a total stranger though, it’s different.”

Carol tilts her head to the side as she looks at you, a knowing expression on her face. “You’re right, it is different.”

“Wha’s different?” Daryl asks as he approaches, Aurora taking a brief moment to talk to Boss about her day so far. Obviously, a dog cant respond like a person, but for the majority of her short life, the only company Aurora has had has been dogs, so she treats them like people, like friends, because they are.

You try to smile at him as innocently as you can, but you cant think up an excuse quick enough. Thankfully, Carol comes in clutch.

“The stew! It’s a little different today, you'd be surprised what a few carrots can change!” She exclaims, and when Daryl scoffs and takes a bowl, Carol subtly winks at you.

A new kind of tension fills the air between you and Daryl at lunch. The tension yesterday was heated, this morning it was awkward, but now it feels...soft. His eyes arent as cold towards you, and you watch as he interacts with Aurora on the opposite side of the table, the two of them seeming to have somehow clicked over the past few hours. She’s making him smile so much, and Daryl seems truly relaxed, like he’s at home with her, and he’s getting there with you. There’s still a rift between you, but it feels as though outer forces are working on bringing you together, even when you’re apart for however long.

“How’s workin’ on the fence?” Daryl asks as the two of you take your empty bowls over to the piles of dirty dishes.

“It’s alright, just not sure it’s something that I want to keep doing.” You say, still feeling the growing aches in your joints and knots forming in your back.

Daryl doesnt question you, but the way he looks at you is enough to encourage you to elaborate. Conversations like this happened one too many times when you were teenagers. Every job you got, up until the very last one, you decided you hated within a week and did everything in your power to get fired. You got tired of being in the same place all the time, seeing the same people, saying the same shit over and over again, and eventually the money just wasnt worth the agony of it all. Teenage-you had far less patience.

“You know me, being shut in somewhere is my own personal hell, same as you. Working on the fences is like staring at the walls keeping me in, regardless of how good it feels to be safe here.” You explain, and Daryl nods, fully understanding.

“Got any idea what you wanna do instead?” The two of you head back over to the table, to Aurora, who is once again having an in-depth, one sided conversation with Boss.

“I dont know, might take up some shifts on watch.” You smirk at Daryl, and a smile curls at the corner of his mouth.

“That so?” He teases, and you beam at him.

“Just imagine how lucky you’d be to spend even more time with me!” Your every word is dripping with sarcasm, making Daryl scoff and shake his head at you.

“Oh, Mama, I want to hang out with Carol now if she wants me to, Daryl has a mission that he has to do alone.” Aurora chirps, and you cant help but laugh as you look up at Daryl, about to ask what this ‘mission’ is, until Carol’s laugh joins yours.

“Actually, I think Hershel is looking for you, he wants to give Aurora a checkup now that you’ve both settled in. He can check over your dogs too, if you like.” Carol smiles sweetly as she picks up some of the dirty dishes and takes them over to the unlucky bastard on dish duty.

You take Aurora’s hand. “C’mon then, let’s go see Doctor Hershel.”

Your little girl nods, hopping off the bench at the table and waving at Daryl with her free hand. “Bye best friend!”

He waves back at her, despite the very short distance between them making it somewhat unnecessary. However, you are very much caught off guard by Aurora’s words, and you gasp at her.

“I thought I was your best friend?!” You question dramatically, eyes darting between your daughter and Daryl.

“Guess ya got fired from that job, too.” Daryl teases, sounding almost cocky, and your jaw drops. Did he really just make a joke, and at your expense?

“Oh, Dixon, I will wipe the floor with that smug ass face of yours!” You threaten playfully, and Daryl tips his nose up at you.

“Naw, ya cant be late for the Doc. Run along.” And then Daryl mother fucking Dixon waves you off with his hand, an unprecedented degree of sass radiating from him, while you stand there, utterly stunned. This prick really hasnt changed since you last saw him.

For the entirety of the short walk back into the prison, your mind is spinning. Have you really broken through Daryl’s harsh exterior already? Your relationship is still far from restored to its previous standard, but it is dangerously close to getting there. How is that even possible?

“I told Daryl my favourite story about the crossbow man.” Aurora says matter-of-factly, halting you dead in your tracks. You crouch down in front of her in the middle of the cell block.

“Aurora, why would you-“ You begin, but your daughter cuts you off.

“‘Cause it’s him, isnt it Mama?” She guesses, her intelligence racing far beyond her years, and at the cost of your dignity.

“How did you know?” You ask her, unable to fathom how she figured this out, considering you’d gone to expert lengths to assure her that ‘the crossbow man’ had no name, no physical description, nothing. Not just because thinking about him in too much detail would wound your heart beyond repair, but also to make him seem as much like a mythical, fictional superhero as you possibly could.

“You knew his name, he has the same cowboy accent that you use when you pretend to be him in the stories, and he has a crossbow. I remembered it from when you drawed one.” Aurora explains, like her expert deductions are no big deal, and like her incorrect past-tense of ‘draw’ isnt absolutely adorable.

You close your eyes in a pained blink. There is not even the slightest chance that Daryl would fail to realise the crossbow man was him, especially since Aurora told him a story that you know for a fact he’ll remember, as it was one of the more dramatic events of your teenage years. The shift in him, the newfound comfort in talking to you, the evaporation of the slight icy glare in those eyes, it was all because of your daughter.

You take a deep breath. “He’s never gonna let me live this down.” You whisper, mostly to yourself, but Aurora frowns.

“Huh?”

Standing back up, you shake your head. “Nothing, c’mon, let’s go find Doctor Hershel.”

Eventually, you find Hershel waiting in a cell, talking with Beth, who’s feeding with Judith. After exchanging brief greetings, you go in search of your other two dogs. Boss is always at your side, so you never have to worry about him. Weirdly, even though Batman is the smallest of the pack, you worry the least about him. He has the personality of a king, he does his own thing when he has the space to do so. Humans essentially become servants to him, you just happen to be his favourite member of staff. You never knew that such tiny dogs could have such huge personalities. Batman is the most difficult to find, given his size and nature to do whatever the hell he pleases, but you find him digging a fourth hole among a cluster of holes he has already dug. You know that Bear is working, dragging things for people so that they can all get things done faster, but even if you didnt know that for certain, you wouldnt be worried. Of your three dogs, Bear has perhaps the most empty space between his ears. He just blindly adores everyone, so if he wasnt working, you’d only have to go in search of people in order to locate him. You find Bear in an entirely different area of the prison, helping Glenn move supplies from the latest run in the car outside, to a different part of the prison that seems to predominantly be used for storage. After collecting your three boys, you head back in the direction of where Hershel is waiting. On the way there, you cross paths with Rick, and he smiles at you.

“Hey (Y/N), everythin’ alright?” He greets you, and you nod.

“Everything’s great! Just heading to a doctor’s appointment!” You joke, causing Rick to laugh before you continue. “Actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about.” You say to Rick, and then you turn to your dogs. “Go find Aurora.” You instruct, and the three of them run off, with Boss leading them.

“You’ve trained them well.” Rick compliments, and you smile.

“Thanks. I tried to prioritise teaching them things that are multipurpose, like ‘find Aurora’ can be an instruction of protection, or to send them to a specific location, or to return to a base camp.” You explain, and Rick nods, seeming impressed.

“What was it you wanted to talk to me about?” He asks curiously, and you smile.

“Doctor Hershel is a very nice man. I like him very much. I have never seen a person as old as him!” Aurora rambles excitedly as the five of you head back to your cell, the doctor’s appointment having been a huge success, judging by your daughter’s ongoing review for the past four minutes, and Hershel’s quick summary of ‘everyone’s just fine’ when you returned to the cell.

“Did you tell him that he’s the oldest person you’ve ever seen?” You ask, dreading the answer, because you know that you didnt teach her social etiquette of talking to older people for the same reason you didnt teach her how to communicate with babies: you didnt think any would have made it this far.

“Yes, and he laughed lots. He said he’s 105!” Aurora claims, clearly shocked, and you cant help laughing.

“Really?” You raise an eyebrow at her, going along with the playful lie that Hershel has told her.

“Really! He’s the oldest man ever!” Aurora jumps at your side, overjoyed by her discovery of the ‘oldest man ever’.

Darkness has settled when you sit down outside your cell, dangling your legs off the platform and swinging them idly. The last time you sat here was to talk to Daryl, but for some reason you’ve chosen it as your preferred location to be alone. It’s like there’s an echo of his presence still sitting beside you, and that is a source of comfort you’d forgotten the feeling of. So much has happened today, you are completely overwhelmed, not only by other people’s knowledge of feelings you hadnt even had the time to acknowledge were there, but this whole place, the everyday conversations about work and food, being in a community of people. It scares you how quickly you’ve readjusted to a life that isnt all about protecting your family for every second of everyday; has that instinct gone? Is this place going to make you weak? Whether it changes your family doesnt matter, they deserve to feel the effects of safety, but you cannot risk settling because if this falls through, it’ll be up to you to protect them all again. Such troubling thoughts can only be processed with the comfort that Daryl’s presence provides, even when he isnt physically there.

The pounding in the door continued long after the monster on the other side had gotten bored. Your body was crumbled against the bathroom door, your hand still holding the lock in case he tried to open it from the outside. The pounding was in your head rather than reality, and you eventually realised it was your own heartbeat you could hear, not the man who you were sure had just broken another of your ribs.

“Where’s your precious Daryl now, huh!?! Oh, that’s right, he doesnt give a shit about you anymore! Nobody does! And it’s all your fault! Nobody will fucking miss you!”

Tear filled, wild eyes darted around the room, petrified that he’d find a way to somehow materialise in front of you. The reassurance of being alone only came when you heard the familiar creak of his armchair as he sat in it. Your gaze fixed on the bathtub, and his yells filtered out, suddenly sounding like you were under water, and that is where you decided you wanted to be. As the tub filled, you attempted to pull your shirt up, but the agony in your chest and back protested, fresh bruises colliding with old ones and making it impossible. Being clothed would probably be better anyway. If the only thing you could control was that the last time he saw you alive, you wouldnt be naked, then you would take that. You sat against the wall, watching the water pour out of the faucet, feeling an overwhelming sense of peace at the thought of everything finally being over.

Once you got too tired to continue watching the water, you carefully pulled yourself to your feet, hissing and muffling your cries of pain by biting down on your hand. What did another set of bruises matter? If your mind hadnt shutdown months ago, you would have registered the discomfort of lowering your denim covered legs into the bath water, but the only sensations you knew then were cruel ones, so something as pathetic as discomfort didnt even cross your mind. Laying back, you closed your eyes, your ears filling with water and barely distorting the sounds that your brain had already pushed away. This would be it. Your body with all its injuries, and your life drifting away in this manner, that would surely solidify his guilt in front of a jury. Your parents wouldnt rest until he was properly punished for his crimes, and though you didnf have time to leave a note, Daryl would know the truth. The news of this event alone would tell him everything, that you had no choice. Your head fell back, you didnt even have to force it to sink. The water engulfed your face, and you waited. This was really it, you were getting out of there, forever. The first eighteen years of your life had been well lived, the people you loved would remember those, you would live on in them. As far as they knew, as far as Daryl knew, that was still who you were. A year of hell was enough to change that, you had no say in any aspect of your life, except in how it ended. Just taking one deep breath, that was all you had to do, and then you would be gone, leaving an untainted memory behind. This was you.

“Naw, it aint.”

A voice you hadnt heard in a year, but one you would never fail to recognise. He couldnt be here, there’s no way, no way in hell.

“Wont know unless ya sit up.”

Shut up!

“Make me.”

It didnt make sense. How could you possibly hear him? Daryl was likely a thousand miles away, with nothing but justified hatred in his heart for you. He wouldnt be there, he couldnt be!

“Sweet girl, ‘m always with you. Now, quit the poetic shit, and get the hell up!”

Something took ahold of your body, you swore you could feel two gentle hands lifting you by your shoulders, and you took a gasp of air. Rubbing your eyes as quickly as you could, you scrambled to look around you, unable to care about potentially worsening your injuries as your eyes searched for him. But you were still alone.

The scuffle of shoes drags you from your thoughts, and you hurry to wipe the tears from your cheeks as he sits down beside you.

“Alright?” Daryl asks, always able to see through any of your efforts to hide your tears from him.

“Yeah.” You answer, and it isnt a lie.

Honestly, you cant even tell if your tears were sad. At the time, you were devastated, your mind had conjured up a version of Daryl to talk you out of leaving forever, because that was the only thing that would work. For so many years, you were so convinced that you would never get to see him again, and here he is. With no idea of what he got you through.

“Spoke to Rick earlier, about changing my job.” You change the subject to something you actually need to talk to Daryl about.

“Wha’d he say?” He enquires.

You bite back a smile. “Rick agrees that it’d be a good idea for you to have a run partner.”

Daryl’s head snaps to the side to scowl at you. “No.”

You sigh, rolling your eyes at him. “You’ve only just found me again, Im not gonna let you go out by yourself and lose you twice.”

Your comment was intended to be sweet and somewhat humorous, but Daryl’s silence as he stares ahead tells you it didnt land that way at all. He hangs his head, pulling at some loose threads in his jeans.

“Ya werent the one that lost.” His coldness is back, but this time in his voice rather than his eyes, though you’re sure if you could see them, daggers of ice would pierce straight through you.

“We both did.” You correct him, and Daryl shakes his head silently, looking off to the other side, away from you.

An intense awkwardness settles over the top of both of you, cementing you in place regardless of how desperately you both want to escape. Much to your surprise, Daryl speaks up first.

“Shouldnt go out there, risk yerself like that. Ya got a kid now.” Apparently, he managed to navigate away out of the tension before you.

“I had Boss protecting me out there before, I’ve been out there this entire time. All those nights we spent out in the woods as kids, I’ve always known that Im never safer than when you’re around. Besides, these days, I can handle myself.” You tell him, hoping that referring to more innocent memories of the two of you will soften him up, and when you see the tiniest sign of a smirk forming on his face, you know you were right.

“Makes a change.” He teases, referring to the same memories, but particularly the memories of you being utterly helpless without him.

Nudging him playfully, you gasp. “Shut up!”

Daryl laughs, but there’s no malevolence there, there never is when he’s with you. He’s known you so long, part of him cant let go of the countless times he saw those terrified eyes staring up at him. Protective instincts just come naturally to Daryl when you’re nearby. But he can see that you’re different now, after being on your own for so long.

“This whole thing, way the world is...it’s made ya stronger.” He observes, nodding at you. This time it’s Daryl who says something with good intentions and it’s received wrong because of things that are yet to be discussed.

You avoid his eyes. “It wasnt the world that made me stronger, I can promise you that.” Not wanting to go into this now, you stand up and start walking into your cell.

Daryl’s gaze fixes back on his lap. “Hard to hear ya say that.”

You look over your shoulder, frowning at the back of his head. “What?”

“Promise.” Daryl clarifies, sounding bitter as he stands up and storms into his cell, without sparing you a glance. That clarification, that one word, sends a sharp pain through your chest.

Stepping into your cell, you are greeted by the adorable sight of your sleeping daughter curled up in bed, with Batman whining in his sleep on the top bunk, Bear snoring quietly under the bottom bunk, and Boss sitting by the door, waiting for you. A small smile makes its way onto your face as you rub behind his ears, and he nuzzles against your arm, staring up into your eyes and understanding far more than anyone else thinks he can. Boss follows you over to the bed, and once you slip under the covers, Aurora reaches for you in her sleep. You pull her into your side, one arm wrapping around her while your other hand continues to stroke Boss as he lies on the floor beside you. How much longer can you keep this up?

The longer you wait, the worst things will get between you and Daryl. He deserves an explanation, you know that, so why is it so hard for you to provide one? He needs to know. And he will, you decide, nodding to yourself with determination as you close your eyes. Soon, he’ll know everything.

————————

explanation for this chapter title - again with the theme of each chapter title sounding like it’s said in conversation with the title of the series:

“Dont say goodbye.”

“Listen, it’s the voice of reason.”

like one is telling the other not to write things off so quickly, the voice of reason for Daryl is a four year old, who provides him with the knowledge that he was wrong in thinking (and holding a grudge over) the reader completely shutting him out of his life, and therefore prevents him from shutting her out. the voice of reason for the reader when she felt she had nothing left to live for, was Daryl, who provided her with the strength to keep fighting in order to make it out of there and back to him. overall, every voice of reason provides evidence for how much the reader truly cared for Daryl even when he wasnt in her life. at the end of the chapter, it’s the reader’s own voice of reason that makes her decide she’s going to tell Daryl the truth soon.

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #x reader #imagine #imagines #headcannon #headcannons #fanfic #fanfiction

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skradio · 5 years

Photo

Forgot to post this, mobei-jun for the MXTX the Gathering card collecting event at AX this year hosted by @/laji_tong on twitter :)

#mobei jun #mbj #svsss #scum villain's self saving system #scum villain #人渣反派自救系统 #漠北君 #hmm this is a few months old by now i dont have much to say about it really #i am however very happy with how it turned out #man im kinda usrprised i forgot to post it actually #also yes like half of it is unfinished because i was too lazy to do anything that would get cropped out by the card border #speaking of which though the actual event at ax was hectic as hell and i didnt even experience the worst of it lmao #stuck in artblock atm im just like peepee #but fallb reak is soon so. Gotta get on my game

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mercury-ish · 4 years

Photo

Decided to work on Saffron’s design a little

#this was supposed to be a fullbody but i didnt like how it was turning out #so heres the cropped version #she's a like a janitor in an rpg dungeon with a demon theme #a coward #but a chill one #she's fun to doodle but settling on a design for her was HELL #especially because of the colors i just ???? how to use colors???? hell o??????#her eyes were supposed to be blue but it wasnt looking good :/#might tweak this a little because of that #my art #original character #oc #demon #demon girl #artists on tumblr #imp #tags???? how?????

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spicy-tomato · 3 years

Note

dream taking reader from the back while Friends by Chase Atlantic is playing in the background 👀

-also may I be 🪐 anon? if not that's absolutely fine! ly stay safe!

yooo ive been working on so many things i forgot i finished this one! hopefully its how you wanted it to be cause im v proud of it. heavy angst in the beginning but it ends with rough smut and fluff

Just tell me what youre doin with that other guy

Your friends had invited you to a party, you didnt want to be here but your most recent boy toy, quackity, had insisted that you both go because he wanted to show you off. As soon as you both got there however, he ran off with some of his friends, leaving you to stand around with your absolutely plastered group of girl friends. They all kept talking about this one guy on the other side of the room who they said was “bad news”. You had no idea who they were talking about until your eyes met.

“I bet i could get in his pants first, i dont care how bad of an idea it is.” says one of your friends.

All of your girlfriends are wasted, they want it, they chase it

You couldnt just let her say that about him, as much as you were mad at him you couldnt stand her degrading him like that. “Actually him and i used to mess around, i kinda miss him to be honest….he was always so sweet and perfect to me.” you retaliate to your friends humiliating comment about the guy you regret losing.

“Youre joking. You do know hes literally the biggest fuckboy ever. Theres no way in hell im even letting you go near him tonight, besides you have quackity now.” gemma said, she may be wasted but she was always the mom of the group. You sigh and go back to your solo cup full of whatever clear alcohol you poured into it earlier.

All of your friends have been here for to long, they must be waiting for you to move on

Gemma continued to watch you for the next several hours until your eyes caught his again. Dream was a fitting name for him, he was like a dream come true for you with his dirty blonde hair and soft, freckled covered face. He always towered over you but it made you feel safe.

Girl, im not with it, im way to far gone

As your eyes met you could tell he was gone, his eyes devouring your skin as if he could still see what you looked like beneath your small skirt and crop top. You shudder at his predatory gaze before he gestures up the stairs and walks away, leaving you shuddering and trying to figure out what he was up to.

“Hey, im gonna run to the kitchen for a drink, ill be back in a sec.” you said and gemma nodded as you quickly make your way through the crowded space and up the stairs.

Heart on your sleeve like youve never been loved

You couldnt lie, you really didnt like quackity but after everything went downhill with dream you just needed someone to be there for you and he happened to walk in at the wrong time. As you get to the top of the stairs, dream pulls you quickly into a bathroom and locks the door before pressing you against it.

Runnin in circles now look what youve done

He looked a mess, eyes puffy and red, obviously not all there after drinking so much.

“Look what youve done to me, really look at it. I havent been the same since i let you go, i made a mistake. Please...please come back.” youve never seen him like this, begging for a second chance.

Give you my word as you take it and run

“How can i trust you wont hurt me again. You said that you would never hurt me then you went and did what you did. How do i know you arent lying?” he looks down, one hand reaching out to take yours.

“Let me prove it to you”

Wish youd let me stay, im ready now

“You cant just walk back into my life and expect me to just take you at your word or let you ‘make it up to me’. What you did tore me apart dream” your eyes go dark as you look at him with anger and sadness.

Just give me some time and space to realize

“After not being with you for so long, it made me realize how much i need you in my life” he looks at you with desperation

And what the hell were we? Tell me we werent just friends, this doesnt make much sense

“You told me that all we would ever be is friends when i told you how much i loved you, how much i still love you. After all of that, after all the tears ive spilled for you, you just expect to walk back in here and regain my love and trust?” you take his hand softly, “thats not how it works as bad as i want it to work that way.”

But im not hurt im tense, cause ill be fine without you, babe

“I lied, i told you i would be fine and that i didnt need your or love you like you love me but i lied. I was so scared of you leaving that i pushed you away. Please, just give me one more chance…” he looked so sad as he said that. Opening up was never one of his strong points so you took what he said to heart.

Wish youd let me stay, im ready now

“Then make it up to me.” you smirk at him as he looks up at you with wide eyes. “Make me forget everything you did to hurt me and maybe i'll give you another chance.” he smirks and his eyes go dark with lust before he pulls you from against the door and bends you over the sink. Your phone rings an you check to see who it is

Incoming call from: quackity

You toss your phone to the side quickly as dream starts to tug at your skirt, tugging it down quickly to see you had nothing on under it.

“Its like you came here ready for me to fuck you princess. Being so naughty with nothing on under this skimpy little skirt.” he slaps your ass hard and you lurch forward with a moan. He pulls your hands behind your back, pinning them there with one hand as the other starts to play with you, putting one finger in and pulling a moan from your throat. “Such pretty noises, god why did i ever let a perfect little thing like you go.” he adds a second finger and starts to thrust them relentlessly as you moan and beg from under him, the familiar tune of a song you played for him drifting up the stairs as you slowly come undone below him. He chuckles darkly before pulling his fingers out, dragging a whine from you before he quickly replaces it, thrusting into you all at once and setting a rough pace. He uses his free hand to tug you back by your hair and make you look in the mirror.

“Look at how much of a mess you are for me, no one else can make you feel like this princess, youre all mine.” he finishes his sentence with a particularly rough thrust that makes you scream out, coaxing an orgasm you didnt even know you were so close to out of you as he keeps going. You watch your form in the mirror, seeing how ruined you looked with tears running down your cheeks and ruined makeup. He laughs behind you before pulling you up to his chest and moving the hand that was pinning your behind your back to your throat, applying light pressure. You let out a silent moan and throw your head back before he leans down and bites it.

“Such a dirty girl, getting off on my hand around your neck” he puts more pressure on your neck before biting above his hand. Your eyes roll back as you cum around him again with a muffled scream. He pulls his hand from your neck and starts to bite and suck on it, his hips stuttering as he comes closer to his end. “S-so fucking good for me princess, never gonna let you go again” as he say that he fills you up with a gutteral moan and you throw your hands back to grip his hair. You both take a second to come down before he pulls out, causing you to whine before he helps you put your skirt back on and turns you to face him.

“Give me another chance?” he smiles softly at you.

“Only if you take me home.” he nods quickly and takes your hand, leading you down the stairs an past your friends and your “boyfriend”

“Hey babe, where are you going with that asshole?” quackity asks before trying to pull you away from dream.

“Actually quackity, we’re over...sorry!” with that, both you and dream rush out of the house and to his car before getting in. he takes you back to his apartment and you both curl up on the couch, you laying on his chest with a content smile as he pulls a blanket over the both of you. You fall asleep in his arms, knowing that it was just right.

#dreamwastaken #dream x reader #dream x reader smut #dreamwastaken smut #dreamwastaken x reader smut #mcyt smut #mcyt x reader smut #dreamwastaken x reader #tomato smut #dream smp #dream smp x reader #dream smp smut #dream smp x reader smut

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moxfirefly · 3 years

Note

Can i get a breeding kink prompt With mikey please? 👉👈

👁👄👁 I am-

Listen, do not get me started on this...

Okay here we gooooo

Rated Explicit (18+ only)

Michelangelo had everything down to a science, which he always found hilarious since he wasn’t the science guy here. But ironic joke aside, he truly did have it all thought out to the point of near perfection.

Because Spring sucks.

Spring is annoying.

Everyone’s in a mood, everyone is in a state of perpetual chest pumping and nothing gets done. Mikey had long since learned that skating the excessive energy out of his system worked fabolously, combine that with some much needed alone time with a skin magazine or video and he could call it a night.

Spring is so annoying.

With you though, he had glossed over in a vague matter that maybe it would be best for you to hang back for a few days. Naturally that was odd, Mikey sometimes wanted to glue you to his shell if he could. A quick look of the calendar filled in the blanks, mutterings about approaching Spring Fever as they had named it were ongoing on the nights you’d been there. Mikey was being courteous, nay he was being shy at the very least.

Curiosity on your end though, would be your undoing.

So you packed your overnight bag with the essentials . He was probably overselling this whole Heat issue, it wasn’t like Mikey’s libido was at a soft two even on a bad day. That man could watch you shaver your legs with a full on mud mask on your face and still pop a boner. Naturally though you maybe should’ve listened

but your feet were already taking to the nearest Lair entrance.

Mikey felt antsy , even after spending three hours on his board. He even took out his old normal board to practice basic tricks on it, he’d played video games for an hour, thought about you for another hour and still his skin felt electric. The air in the Lair tonight was about the same, everyone was locked away to avoid unnecessary fighting. He figured he’d shower, think about you once again and retreat back to his room.

He felt a little better after the hot shower, he’d even found that you had left one of those sweet smelling body gels. That had significantly distracted him and now he couldn’t stop smelling himself, for he smelled like you. In his trance he neglected to perhaps notice that your scent had picked up a little more but he figured it was himself.

He nudged the curtain aside that led to his room (Raph had moved out a few months back) and tossed his towel somewhere in the chaos.

Then he saw you there, on his bed, flipping away on some random magazine he had lying around looking like a dream. Mikey froze on the spot, you looked up and smiled.

“So what’s the big deal? Aside from how funeral like quiet everything is around, has anybody sprouted a third arm?” You joked whilst setting the magazine aside, you sat up and assessed him. He was freshly showered, smelling of your favorite shower gel and wearing nothing but his boxer briefs.

For Mikey though, his literal reptile brain was only making him notice how gorgeous you looked in nothing but some stay at home shorts and a flimsy oversized crop top. Naturally you had settled into your relaxed attire once here, most of the time it consisted of things Mikey either outgrew or didn’t use anymore. He approached, tentatively.

“No third arms dude, just you know; tension in the air” He chuckled and so did you, you couldn’t help but notice how fixated his gaze was. He looked at every little detail of yours more intently, enjoying it even more. Mikey reached out and ran his knuckles across your chin. You kept your smile, sneaking down to press a soft kiss on his wrist. “What’ya been up to then?” You not so innocently asked as he started playing with your hair.

Mikey’s mind was too clouded, it had been clouded all day with scandalous thoughts of you. Even now as you sat in front him, the picture of sweetness and loveliness all he wanted was to consume himself in you. “Thinking of you” He answered distracted by ideas of pulling your hair, watching your mouth open in a gasp, body shaking with pleasure.

Maybe spring didn’t have to be so annoying...

“Well I’m here now, you should’ve just said so” You liked how concentrated he seemed, fascinated with your hair or with caressing your cheek. You also didn’t mind that he was barely dressed, all strong legs and thin waist for display. You wondered just how badly he was fighting to not make his arousal so evident.

Then his hand retreated and he got down on both knees. His hands rested on your knees and you swore his pupils were blown out already, you pressed your legs tightly together.

“I can smell it, don’t hide it”

That sentence shook you. Your face flushed at his words but it only served for another shot of heat to pool beneath you. Mikey seemed so different, that cheery flirtatious nature of his wasn’t all quite there and you couldn’t help but wonder what lay in store for you.

He hooked his fingers in your shorts and pulled them down slowly, his excited energy was there but more zeroed in on the task at hand. You let him take them off for you, soon your underwear as well, his firm but gentle hand nudged you backwards. You laid down, breathing anticipation and exhaling desire when you felt those strong hands of his spread you.

“You smell so fucking good” Any and all rational thought had exited. All he wanted was to taste you, fuck you and claim you as his. He bit the inside of your thigh, enjoying the muscle tremble. When you felt a string of spit on your core and that wet warm tongue flick up your slit, you bit down on your lip. Mikey was never controlled, especially in this activity, he went at it like it was his last meal. But this honed in method left you shakey and needy.

He wanted you shakey and needy.

Thus he did the same, licking and sucking slowly, calculatedly. You looked down, his meticulous attacks making you squeeze your legs against his head. That brought a lengthy groan out of him, his hands gripped your thighs more and his movements picked up a little more in forcefulness. Soon enough he had you teetering on the precipice, close and closer and each second you swore he’d give it he took it back. You whined frustratedly, hand smacking down on the bed. Your heated gaze found Mikey’s, mouth wet with your essence, pupils still so blown you could barely make out his baby blues. He sucked a finger into his mouth and found your opening, your eyes rolled back into your head.

“You’re so damn wet, like you always get this wet whenever I eat you out” He was knuckle deep, making you crossed eyed as he found your spot and thrusted. “I wish you could feel what I feel when I slide into this pussy” He angled his finger, loving how you bit down hard to muffle a moan. His thumb found your clit and you nearly sobbed. “Fuck you’re so good, you’re all mine aren’t you? This...” He made a come hither motion with said digit. “This all mine?” He asked, rubbing slow circles on your clit.

You nodded vigorously, anything for him to just apply a little more pleasure to hit that spot with just a little more force.

Then Mikey was pulling out his finger and sucking the digit clean.

Yet another frustrated sound left you and you swore he smirked. When he got up, you bit your lip. He was fully hard, leaking and staining the front of his underwear. Good, served him right for the torturing. You made do of your shirt, not missing the hungry look when he saw you were bare beneath the shirt. Opting for some retaliation you fondled them, pinching and kneading. Mikey’s eyes followed them as he kicked off his underwear.

When he gripped your waist you figured he was going to climb on you.

You didn’t expect him to quite literally turn you around and manuveour you onto all fours.

This wasn’t an usual pose for Mikey, it’s not to say he didn’t indulge in it but he preferred to watch you ride him or to be so sweetly spooned against you. This felt, primal. He still seemed unsatisfied that he couldn’t watch you, so he improvised.

Once again wrapping an strong forearm around your waist he took you towards a small dresser that had a mirror. Your wide eyes were comical at this point, this was so unlike him and yet you found yourself so insanely turned on by it. He nudged your legs apart with his foot, hand on your lower back he guided himself in with his other.

That initial burn would never stop being your favorite and Mikey had full view of your eyes leaving their sockets. That gravely churr startled you, his usually didnt run that deep more along the lines of a pleasant purr. You clenched around him and his mouth hung open. That very sensation was something he could dream about awake. He had that feeling committed to memory, often times trying to replicate it with his hand whenever he missed you.

“Jesus fucking hell, Mike please move” You rested on your forearms, trying to move back against him but he held a firm hand on your lower back denying it. He remained quiet, you whined. “Please babe, please I want it so bad” Your eyes drifted to the mirror catchi. Mikey’s heated gaze and grin, he was definitely eating this display up.

He leaned over you, mouth close to your ear. “If... if I start I’m gonna keep going until you’re filled up with my cum” He tested his words by starting to move, hands gripping your waist tightly. The relief that washed over you was immediate, this angle was always a weak point for you so you knew lasting would be difficult.

Then Mikey slammed into you with enough force to rattle the dresser and it’s contents. Your mouth opened in a silent gasp, you watched how consumed he was feeling you. “Oh fuck Mikey, that’s so good” You felt him pulse inside of you, always one for praises this one.

“You’re gonna take it for me? Mhm?” He thrusted hard, demanding. You threw your head back, a blissed out grin breaking out on your face. “God yes, all of it baby, fill me up” You moaned, more so when he wrapped his arm across you chest and held you against his hard plastron. “Yes you are, you’re gonna take it all, every last drop” He shoved his finger into your mouth, pace quickening, churring nonestop.

He continued his words, each one making you hotter, the two of you were going to be a blushing mess after this. “Gonna fill you up, knock you up” He grunted against your ear, the angle was slightly uncomfortable but you were too lost in the lust to bother. You nodded trying to say ‘yes yes yes’ with his thick digit in your mouth.

Mikey felt you tighten so suffocatingly hard that you bit down pretty hard on his finger. He took it out just as you started to scream with your pent up release. “That’s my giiiirl” He groaned against you, slamming two more times before spilling himself in you. It felt never ending, each spurt deep within, Mikey’s short hard thrust making you slump forward in his arms. “Fu-uck Mike” Your voice shook, legs trembled as he emptied himself inside of you. He remained there, buried so far in, loving the mixture of his mess and yours.

Mikey bit down on your shoulder, hips starting to move again, his member twitching back to life. Your eyes shot open, watching him through the mirror. He kept you against him, this time by gripping both your breast.

His previous statement swam inside your foggy brain.

‘If I start, I’m not gonna stop...’

Spring was officially your favorite season.

#tmnt bayverse #tmnt mikey x reader #tmnt michelangelo x female reader #michelangelo tmnt #tmnt michelangelo x reader #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt mikey #michelangelo x reader #mikey x reader #ns*w #ask #beetle bab #smut prompt

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negandarylsatisfaction · 3 years

Text

[SUMMARY: Rick's daughter Melody cant help her curiosity about the man locked up in the prison cell. Being kept secrets from her father, she takes it upon herself to get to know Negan and one day sneaks into the cell to find him asleep with morning wood.]

SEMI SMUT

Negan and Melody

Rick never really allowed you anywhere near Negan. Hell, you never even saw Negan yourself up close and personal. Although you were twenty, your father still treated you like the little five year old girl he used to carry on his shoulders. It was frustrating at times, he always wanted to keep secrets from you about what was going on in the group and he always said it was to protect you. The only times you ever saw Negan he was tied up being led into the prison cell. Truth was, you didnt know what he had done that was so bad. Your father seemed to keep everything from you that involved anything serious. You looked out the window and saw Daryl pass Eugene the keys for cell, each night someone was on guard. Looking to the right you saw your dad heading your way and quickly pulled down the blinds. After you were told Glenn had died in an accident on a run a few months ago many things changed. Maggie left, everyone seemed more distant and it left you confused.

"Get ready for bed, Melody," your dad spoke low as he entered the house making you sigh.

"I'm not tired dad."

"Mel, it's getting late-"

"And is there something we need to be ready for in the morning?" You responded with sarcasm looking back out the window.

"Besides...you never told me what that guy Negan did."

"I told you that's not up for discussion," he insisted making you roll your eyes.

"Is anything up for discussion? Whatever, I'm sure what he did wasnt that bad if hes being kept alive." You got up from the chair and walked past your father as he looked down with a straight face. There was no way he could tell you the truth of what Negan had done. Your father tried to protect you the best he could and losing people was enough, he didnt want to leave you with images in your head.

Waiting to be sure that your father was in his room you quietly snuck out of yours. Your curiosity ate at you and you were tired of your father treating you like a little girl. Making sure you werent heard, you stepped outside and walked towards where Negan was held captive. Eugene was heading back to the cell with a tray of food for Negan. You knew itd be easy to get around Eugene regardless of what your father instilled in his mind. Creating casual conversation with Eugene and some jokes to break the ice you offered to take Negan his lunch. Right away he made a face filled with doubt.

"I dont know about that, Melody..I'm in charge of his cell-"

"Yeah but you're in charge of the entrance. Who's going to watch while you are distracted handing him the food?" Eugene raised an eyebrow in thought, he felt like you had a point.

"Alright but your dad cant know about this, he'll kill me. So dont take too long."

"Dont worry I got it," you assured him before taking hold of the tray of food and the keys from his hand.

You could feel your heart beating out of your chest, you were nervous yet so curious to know the man that was hidden from you. Unlocking the door you walked down a dark hallway before reaching the cell.

"Well its about time one of you fuckers remembered to feed me," you froze at the sound of Negans voice before stepping out of the dark hall and into the light, revealing yourself. Negan looked up as he leaned against the wall not expecting to see a young attractive woman before him.

"Well excuse my French, where the fuck did your pretty little self come from?" Negan looked you up and down observing your skin tight jeans and crop shirt. Right from the jump you found this man to be very intimidating, taking a deep breath you stepped closer to his cell and bit your bottom lip nervously.

"Um...my name is Melody.. I came to bring you your meal," Negan slowly stepped closer to the bars with a smirk on his face and looked down at the tray in your hands.

"I see that...so you're gonna put that down for me, sweetheart?" He spoke slowly with an enticing voice.

"Oh..um, yes" you smiled before slowly bending down not noticing Negan tilt his head eyeing the curve of your ass as you slid the tray beneath the bars.

"Very nice.." he murmured low to himself before you got back up. Your eyes met his and you suddenly didnt move, his eyes were alluring and inviting all at once. Nervously clearing your throat you backed away brushing your hair back.

"I gotta ask, princess. What's a fine young woman like you doing alone with me here in my prison cell?"

"I wanted to see who you were...I'm not allowed to know things so-"

"So you're telling me no one knows you're here?" He raised a brow getting closer, although this man was behind the bars you still found yourself feeling nervous.

"No...everyone treats me like a little girl. I'm twenty years old and I'm tired of people covering up things for me," you explained.

"Shit, you are very young."

"Not too young where I cant be told what the hell you did to be in here, cant be all that bad if you're still alive."

Negan raised his brows sliding his tongue behind his lower lip.

"Oh no sweetheart, I'm no good." He spoke in a low voice.

"So let me guess, you're going to treat me like a little girl too and not tell me why?" Negan couldnt help himself but chuckle making you cross your arms.

"What's so funny?"

"Ohh...princess, if I was out of this cell right now I'd gladly show you how much of a grown woman I think you are."

"What?" You asked a little shocked not expecting him to express himself the way he did. You were quickly learning Negan had an unfiltered mouth.

"Dont mind me," Negan shook his head with a sigh.

"Its been a while and I'm just fucking frustrated."

"Its been a while since what?" You asked making him slightly lean back with a frown on his face.

"You really are innocent huh," you rolled your eyes.

"Listen, if you're going to say it just say it-"

"Its been a while since I've had some pussy." Negan blurt out making you stumble over your words.

"Oh-um...-" Negan grinned raising his brows at your reaction.

"Oh yes," he laughed as you nervously licked your lips.

"Shit..." he suddenly turned serious.

"How long has it been for you? Or wait let me guess, you haven't even had your cherry popped yet." Negan moved closer to the bars to get a closer look at you.

"Actually, I'm not a virgin but it's been a few years since I lost my virginity to this jackass. I havent slept with someone since."

"So you've gone a few years with out any relief?"

"Well um-obviously I've had relief-"

"Oh..so you like touching yourself," he bit his bottom lip in excitement.

"-But yes, it's been years since I've had sex and I'm okay with it, I dont need it." You couldnt believe you were even explaining this to him.

"Hm. Looks like whoever was hitting it wasnt hitting it right, shit I'd always have you coming back for more." You rolled your eyes holding back a smile, you kind of liked the attention he was giving you.

"Are you always this vulgar, Negan?"

"Only when I'm horny," he teased making you shake your head.

"Shit, do you blame me princess? You're the first woman that's spoken to me like I wasnt a damn monster. Plus I love some dirty talk." Negan had to admit the company was refreshing for him. You sighed with a smile and looked down at his food.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you to your food. I'll come by when I can again...if you want me to." Negan smiled sliding his tongue between his teeth.

"Oh I definitely do." You couldnt believe this man was flirting with you but you had to admit to yourself it was a fun interaction.

"Your secrets safe with me, Melody." Negan winked before you quietly left and locked the door shut.

That night you lay in bed smiling to yourself thinking of your very flirtatious talk with Negan. Your dad hadn't suspected a thing and you knew the next morning he would go on a run. It would be a perfect time to see Negan again. You were the first person in a long time to not make him feel like a monster and he was the first person who made you feel like a grown woman. Distracted by his flirtatious ways you didnt focus on the reason of him being held in a cell and Negan had no idea you were Rick Grimes only daughter.

The next morning just as suspected your father left on a run with Daryl and Michonne. The person on guard today was one of the men that you knew wasnt the biggest fan of your father. Of course you were to use this to your greatest advantage. Setting up a tray of breakfast with extra fruit you had grown in your garden you made your way to Negan. Unlocking the door, excitedly you walked down the hall to find Negan asleep with his back facing you as you set down his tray of food.

"Good morning, Negan." You spoke softly making him open his eyes. He groaned with a stretch and turned flat to his back making you gasp.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Negan looked at you confused before noticing exactly where your eyes were. The imprint of Negans very hard cock was practically bulging out of his pants.

"Ah shit-"he muttered to himself adjusting his pants.

"Sorry, sweetheart must've been having a nice little dream." He chuckled as he noticed you wouldnt stop staring at it.

"What, never seen some morning wood before?" He teased as he stood up.

"I mean, of course I just didnt expect to see you..I mean for you to be that way right now." You responded nervously as he made his way close to the bars of the cell.

"Right now?" He laughed.

"Oh princess, you have no idea how horny I am. How much I'd kill for the feel of sweet pussy...shit for a woman to just relieve me." The two of you were face to face now, only the bars separating you from each other.

"You know what I was dreaming about, princess?" Negan spoke as he noticed you would not stop looking down at his crotch area.

"I dreamt about you riding my cock." His voice was raspy, his words making you look up in shock.

"What?" You whispered.

"You left me last night thinking about things I wanted to do to you and this is the outcome." He motioned towards his erection.

"Why dont you touch it for me...just once." He spoke low, your lips parted at his request. Your heart was racing, it was arousing how much this man wanted you. Looking back at the door behind you making sure it was locked you looked back at Negan and nodded.

"Just once." You agreed making him grin.

"Atta girl."

Negan watched as you hesitatingly moved your hand in between the bars and began to slowly rub his crotch. A deep noise escaped his lips the first moment you touched him, his breathing was heavy as you moved your hand up and down.

"Oh my...-" you whispered feeling how rock solid he was.

"Oh, Melody.." he whispered as he closed his eyes. You could tell he obviously wanted more, you could tell how much he needed it. Without saying a word you began to unzip his pants and instantly his cock sprung out. It was thick and hot, you could feel him throbbing in your hand. The man was aching for some kind of relief, he was about ready to explode.

Spitting on your hand you began to move along his shaft. Negan moaned holding onto the bars as he watched you jerk him off. He could tell you were getting turned on as you began to breathe quickly. Negan reached through the bars and grabbed your throat applying pressure making you moan as you began to move your hand faster.

"Fuck baby, I dont think I can hold it-" he held his breath and grunted struggling to not let himself cum just yet.

"Hold on just a little bit more, I want you to cum hard." You whispered as he frowned holding on to the bar tightly, his knuckles turning white. It had been too long since he had been touched, too long since he had ejaculated and Negan had an intense rush. His other hand quickly sliding down your neck and pulling your v neck shirt down revealing your breast.

"Touch me, Negan. Do what you want." You whispered as your hand moved faster. Your words making his jaw clench as he squeezed your breast and let out a very loud and deep groan, loads of cum spilled out of him falling to ground.

"Yes.." you whispered loving the sight of him giving in.

"Dont stop-" he struggled to speak as he continued to cum all over your hand. He panted as you began to slow down before he let go of your breast and leaned against the bars. Releasing his cock from your hand you stepped back and looked at him from head to toe. His eyes were closed as he leaned his head on the bars, his cock twitching as you noticed all his cum on the concrete floor.

"Wow.." you whispered making him open his eyes. Grabbing a rag you had on you, you cleaned up your hand then handed it to him before he closed his pants. Negan cleared his throat before looking back up at you with a smirk.

"I guess I owe you one," he chuckled still trying to catch his breath making you laugh as you fixed your top.

"Glad I could be of help," you joked before the two of you locked eyes. The smiling fading from his face now.

"Seriously, it's been nice having you here."

Negan liked the sexual connection the two of you had, he also liked how you naturally conversed with him. You didnt treat him like an animal, you treated him like a human being. Negan knew he had messed up in life but he knew there was nothing he could do to change the past. All he could do was not repeat the same mistakes. What he did know was that he now knew for sure that he did not want you knowing his real reason behind being locked inside. He knew youd never look at him the same way again.

"Its been nice for me too. I havent really had conversation with anyone in my group." You sighed crossing your arms.

"After my friend Glenn died things changed." You whispered making Negans face change at the mention of Glenn's name. He looked away feeling a knot of guilt in the pit of his stomach.

"Everyone started acting different. I miss the way things were." You continued as you looked to the side and thought back of some memories.

"I think you should get going, Princess." Negan spoke low, his words making you look back at him confused.

"Wh-what? I thought we could talk-"

"Listen, I'm not your fucking therapist. Now get going." Negan snapped just wanting you to leave, his guilt eating up at him he felt like utter shit.

"So what jerking you off is all you needed so I'm good to go now?"

Negan remained silent, his head down not being able to look you in the eye.

"You know I know we dont know each other and you dont give a shit about me, but I thought we had an understanding that we both needed someone to talk to and not talk to them like something they're not." You snapped as he carefully listened to your words.

"That's the problem, sweetheart. They're not treating me like something I'm not. You are." His words left you speechless, what the hell did he mean by that?

"I told you I was no fucking good. Now get out of here." Negan turned his back to you, you couldnt believe what he was saying or what the hell even made him say these things.

"Screw you." Negan heard the crack in your voice before you stormed out and slammed the door shut. Negan sighed knowing he didnt want to hurt your feelings, hell he didnt even want you to leave. Angrily you walked back to your room and slammed the door shut, you felt so stupid you could scream. You swore you'd never see Negan again nor let your father ever find out of what had just happened.

Part 2? Trying to think of where I can go from here. Feel free to send in any ideas if you have. Xx

#jeffrey dean morgan #the walking dead negan #negan x you #negan fan fiction #negan twd #negan x ofc #negan x reader #rick grimes #the walking dead fic

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lizandbo · 3 years

Text

hair days w/ hq bois

Asahi

- oh dear. Oh hell

- he really really really does have some fragile hair

- i feel like his older sister would teach him how to do his hair and all that jazz

- he would let you play with his hair, hell he loves it

- so when you started to do something with his hair he was curios of what you were trying to do

- but you responded back with just a simple “idk”

- now he really curios

- no matter how good or bad you are at hair, hell love it

- he always love your hair styles, or anything that you do

- so when he noticed that you were doing piggy tails he was super confused, like isn’t this all girlish for him?? Hah NOPE not to you

- you were trying to pigtails and then put them in a bun

- but before you did that you admired him

- “ayyyyeee you look like Harley Quinn!”

- “w-what?! How?”

- “you look nothing like her, but soon in a couple of seconds/ minutes you will look like Princess Leia!”

- “oh dear”

Kenma

- before yiu do anything with dying and Yadyayada

- he LOVES when you shovel your hands through his hair and practically rake it like crops

- but when you did have his permission to dye since the roots were over powering the blond

- you were excited but hella nervous cuz like...you might mess it up??

- but would kenma really care? Yes, he would absolutely care

- so now back to panicking

- but if you do mess say hello to the coffin cuz- *cough cough kenma ejronmwowdkrjnew

- he isn’t scary but the harsh and cold tone that he can use is like o.o -.- o.o

- but anywaysss

- you did ok, but kenma was impressed none the less

- he was playing his Mario cart and yes he is playing Mario cart FIGHT ME

- “k-kenma....umm i dunno if you would be happy orrr somethinf”

- “what’s wrong with it? I though you said it was good?

- “welp its like...too much blond, more than you would like?”

- “how much of the roots are left?”

- “like about an inch?”

- “its ok, I’m not mad, but next time leave lie three inches..ok?”

- “okie dokie<3″

Kurro

- Peeps say that he gels his hair up, but like,, i think its normal cuz i looked it up

- but hinata’s hair is normally like that? Sorta

- and a lot of other peeps have their hair straight up like a fuckn chicken just like onion head

- but on th website thingy i looked it up, kenma said that he lays on his stomach and puts two pillows around his head to make it like that

- but personally, doing all that before you get to sleep is too much cuz like, when I’m ready to fucking sleep, I’m fucking asleep asleep

- but this is about hair not fucking sleep

- you scrunched up his hair and he turned around his neck so fast to the point it cracked

- you never saw I’m that alarmed ever

- “bby, I’m only playing with your hair”

- “you should’ve told me, i thought you were a stranger trying to fight”

- “oh yeah, its not like every day that you fight wth a stranger”

- “ its just for the cause”

- “’its just for the cause’ my ass”

- you were now done with his rooster hair, that it tuned out to be three to four lil braids

- “....looks nice babe”

- “you don’t even know what it looks like tho”

- “i know, im always gonna love it”

- insert your face blushing:)

Nishinoya

- Noya bby would prolly never let you touch his hair cuz like: he wants it perfectly up

- so, he would let you do it at night

- or right after a shower

- but anyways

- you were trying to do like, this thing were its tiny lil ponytails in his hair

- it would look stupid but funny

- and once you did it, he was impress but Ike, also kinda mad and embarrassed?

- he didnt want to look Ike an idiot

- but HERE WE GO WELCOME TO THE FUCKING SHOW

- “y/nnnnnn, what the hell?”

- “what? You dont like it?”

- “well, yes I’m pretty impress but dont i look like a weird gnome with broccoli hair?”

- “well yes you look like a gnome cuz ya damn short, and no you dont look like a broccoli, you look like nothing ive seen before”

- “is that somethinf- WAIT.. IM NOT SHORT!” - “ya kinda areee”

- “BABE”

- “sorry”

- “WHY DO I LOOK LIKE THIS”

- “what? Beautiful? A gnome? Details man!”

- “yes beautiful, no gnome, forgot I said anythig about the gnome”

- “okie dokie”

#kuroo x reader #nishinoya x reader #kenma x reader #asahi x reader #lizandbo #asahi x you #asahi fluff #nishinoya fluff #kenma fluff #kuroo fluff #Nishinoya headcanons #kuroo headcanons #kenma headcanons #asahi headcanons

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

OK I GOT 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT WHICH IS PRETTY OK IG (I did stay up to read the fic-) BOTH MY TESTS WENT LIKE SHIT, I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK IN PROGRAMMING CLASS BECAUSE BY TEACHER IS A LITTLE SHIT WHO KEPT ON YELLING AT ME WHEN I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING AND I SPENT LUNCH ALONE BUT AT LEAST NOW IM ALONE WITH MY LAPTOP SO YAYAYAYYA

first of all, this chapter right here is my comfort chapter from now on. i said what i said. I will be rereading it again and again just because i can. it was PERFECTION

here's me going crazy at 2 am yesterday.

MAGNUS' CHAPTER

LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO

AHHHHHHH IT'S THEIR ANNIVERSARY

SCREAM

alec shaved his beard because it made him look older

RAFAEL WAS SO UPSET AFTER THE MEXICO ATTACK BECAUSE OF ANJALI RIGHT??

magnus and alec are the oblivious parents istg

“Are you decent?” Max yelled. “I don’t want to be traumatized again.”

“Hey! We agreed not to talk about that!” Alec yelled back.

Im not even surprised at this point

“Happy anniversary, bapa!” Rafael kissed him on the cheek and handed him the flowers.

“Where are my flowers?” Alec asked.

Rafael plucked a rose from the bouquet and threw it at Alec. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, son,” Alec mumbled.

IM WHEEZING

DAVID BAKES

“David made it,” Max said shyly. "

Oh,” Alec replied and then shrugged. “Well, the icing could be a little sweeter I think.”

Ever since Max started dating, Alec had become incredibly protective. Alec liked David of course – it was impossible to find someone who didn’t. But that didn’t mean Alec approved.

And it didn’t help that the blond boy was absolutely terrified of Alec.

ALEC STOP TEASING HIM

THE BOY IS ALREADY SCARED

“I don’t know,” Alec analysed the card. “David used too much glitter.”

“Since when do you have a problem with excessive glitter?” Max demanded.

ALEC

“I didn’t use him!” Max huffed. “He was thoroughly compensated for his efforts!”

“Compensated how?” Alec asked.

“Uh,” Max said. “With donuts.”

when i saw donuts i immediately thought of rose and luisa from jtv

iykyk

but should i continue the show? i got tired of jane continuously embarrasing herself

“You expect us to follow rules?” Alec asked in surprise. “In our own home? On our anniversary?”

The warlock boy grinned wickedly before leaning close to Alec.

“You better do it, or I will tell everyone about your secret,” Max whispered.

Alec blinked at that.

the secret...

I DONT LIKE HOW MANY THINGS POPPED INTO MY HEAD

is highschool musical that bad? i havent watched it. should i?

what if i cried

i just wanna hug alec??? but i cant say it'll be ok because it wont

“Is that why you are not attending?” Magnus grinned at his friend. “Or is it because you are terrified of Georgia?”

“That child is the reincarnation of Christopher Lightwood!” Ragnor complained. “I heard she made explosives out of demon ichor! Who makes explosions out of demon ichor?”

RAGNOR IS PROBABLY GETTING FLASHBACKS

THESE STUPID FUCKING BITCHES

how tf do you think we have survived huh??

medicine that's how

vaccines, anti biotics and what not

stop being close-minded and fucking do it

ok i know the risk is great

BUT OTHERWISE THEY ALL DIE

it was different for warlocks. The Shadow World was their universe. The nephilim kept it safe. At one point in their lives, they had learned to coexist with them, out of necessity and out of obligation.

And now here they were – working together in the name of friendship and love.

how things change...

what

say what

the causes are what

ok let's not jump to conclusions

im fucking crying wtf

alec doesnt deserve this shit

all he's done is make the world a better place

hes worked so hard on this

RAZIEL CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF

what am i supposed to say to my parents if one of them comes to check on me and im sitting here crying at 2 am

He didn’t want to believe in a reality that would punish Alec. Alec who only wanted to do what is good and right.

Alec was who was losing his hope and strength every passing day. Alec who was struggling. Alec who was turning to desperate measures to cope with all the stress.

please alec

no please

THE ANGELS ARE BITCHES

Because if Magnus found out Raziel was the one causing all this pain for Alec, he would march up to heaven and set the bastard on fire himself.

AND I'LL GO WITH HIM

KNEW THE SPY WAS LIVVY

AWW RAGNOR LIKES SELENA THATS SO SWEET

blue and gold

STOP IT IM CRYING AGAIN

The shadowhunter was a good influence on him. Magnus hoped Alec would see it sooner rather than later.

HUH

HUHU

HUH

omg

GIGI GETTING A SIBLING

“Max isn’t allowed to do a lot of things,” Magnus chuckled. “But he does them anyway.”

thats my boi

GASP

]THE NECKLACE

rafael is growing into the consul voice

they grow up so fast

nope nope he's still the little 5 year old

voice cracking what do you mean he's 20

im glad hes happy with mila. or is he...?

Magnus had deduced as much. Alec lived in his beautifully oblivious world. But Magnus noticed.

He noticed the hickeys. He noticed the late-night visits. He noticed the tense phone calls.

well thank god there's at least one non-oblivious person (alec i love you so much but you are very very oblivious)

“What’s stopping you then?” Magnus asked.

"2554 miles,” Rafael chuckled sadly.

me with all my online friends

probably more miles

Magnus tried to do the math but promptly gave up.

But Alec did lie though. Magnus pushed the thought away.

NOT NOW

LET ME LIVE IN PEACEFUL OBLIVION

HUSH

“Except melt it?” Rafael chuckled.

“Yes,” Magnus chuckled back. “As you can see, the bar is extremely low in the Lightwood family.”

AHHIUCCDSKUHDCV

i have no clue what the words describing the outfit are

time to google

OK PRETTY

Fifteen years. Fifteen years of loving and Alec still made his heart stutter.

dont do this to me right now I WILL CRY

“What the hell?” Max exclaimed. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s my anniversary,” Alec chuckled.

Max-

Fifteen years. Fifteen years and Magnus still took Alec’s breath away.

HJCSDHJBJDHSGCDYGJVVC JHVDFYMJ

it's not funny MY EYES ARE WATERING

“Bapak is a good looking one in the family,” Rafael pointed out. “You are the chaotic one and I am the smart one.”

“What am I then?” Alec asked dryly. “A sack of potatoes?”

“You’re the sexy one,” Magnus grinned. “A sexy sack of potatoes.”

yes.

Alec grinned back and leaned forward. Magnus put his hands around Alec’s neck and kissed him. He kissed Alec with all the love he had inside his heart.

Just like the first time. Just like the hundredth time. Just like the thousandth time.

Because with Alec, every kiss mattered. Every single one.

muffled sob

“Stop making out, oh my god!” Max groaned.

Magnus sensed a pillow coming their way but Rafael caught it before it hit them.

“Max, stop!” Rafael scolded. “You will wrinkle dad’s suit and ruin bapak’s hair! I spent hours ironing both!”

why is max me when i see people display affection in front of me

ALSO RAFAEL HKUIUIDCSKIHUDFVHJDFVHU

“They are here,” Rafael said. “You two better look exactly the way you did when I left with Max or I will raise hell.”

IM SCREAMING

Selena was wearing a blue crop top with the words “MIND YOUR OWN UTEREUS” written in gold.

i need that top

DAVID'S SHIRT IS THE COLOR OF MAX'S MAGIC

AHH ISABELLE DOESNT KNOW SHE'S PREGNANT YET

The argument of “who gave the best gift” had started when Jace and Izzy had gotten drunk on vodka. It didn’t help that Alec had gotten drunk as well. All three Lightwood siblings had then proceeded to have an argument about who had the best spouse. The whole night had been drunken chaos. Magnus, Clary and Simon had let them have it since the Lightwood siblings had a tendency to carry the world on their shoulders even when nobody asked them. They rarely ever let loose ever since their worlds had plunged into sickness and demon attacks. Especially Alec. So, Magnus had let his husband be that 18-year-old boy again. The boy who got drunk and fought with his siblings and sang songs about Magnus’ pretty eyes.

OH MY GOD THE CHAOS

Georgia considered that. “I’m not allowed to melt it, right?”

“No,” they all replied in chorus.

LET GIGI MELT IT

SELENA IM SO PROUD OF YOU

“Dad,” Max said. “Can you keep a picture of me wearing this necklace in your office?”

“Why?” Rafael asked.

“I think it will piss off the boomers,” Max giggled.

“Nice!” Lexi grinned. “A downworlder wearing a shadowhunter heirloom? They will lose their heads. Uncle Alec, you must do it.”

“I will do you one better. I will hang a tapestry,” Alec chuckled.

YASSS I CANT WAIT FOR THE SHADOWHUNTERS TO BE PISSED

AWW THEY DIDNT KNOW THE NECKLACE USED TO BELONG TO MAGNUS

he actually gave to camille first-

Why couldn’t this boy just cause chaos during his travel year like the rest of them? Why did he actually study and do his research as recommended?

why would you NOT study and research during your travel year????

oh shit

well well well

david bby stfu

i love you but pls stop speaking for all our sakes

“Holy shit,” Max said. “It is expensive then!”

“Don’t pawn the ruby!” Rafael warned.

MAX NO-

OH THE STONE COMES FROM EDOM

oh no

pls dont fight

oh so i was wrong about magus confronting him from that snippet

all you need to know is im sobbing right now and grammarly is the only thing making this coherent

dont mind me just

NO I FORGOT ABOUT MAX AND DAVID

GET BACK IN THE ROOM YOU IDIOTS

don't do this to me at 3 am

OK THE DILF PART

thank you for adding light into my life again

(me while editing this: today really isn't my day huh? i just slipped in rainwater outside my balcony because I heard rain and ran there. now my knee and back hurt and I think I sprained (?) my toe-

ANYWAY

wait im gonna go check out the rain and then continue editing this

ok i got bored of the rain)

that made me laugh through my tears

“Objectively good looking?” Jace snorted. “Excuse you, but my parabatai is smoking hot! He is a freaking prize, okay? If we had a magazine for hot shadowhunters, you would be on the cover page. Every single issue.”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Alec interrupted. “Magnus, are you happy? Now all my friends have told me I am pretty.”

“I said smoking hot,” Jace corrected.

“We are not being biased,” Clary pointed out. “It is the general consensus, Alec.”

“It’s true,” Lexi said. “So many people have asked me for your number, Uncle Alec. And I would have given it to them if I wasn’t worried about being turned into a marshmallow.”

LEXI DUHDUGHUDFCUHKVDFUIKFDU

“Dad, I don’t know why you are so worried,” Max said in a bored tone. “You’re a told DILF.”

David choked on his champagne and Jace patted him on the back.

“What the hell is a DILF?” Alec demanded.

“Oh, I know this one!” Jace said excitedly. “It means Dashing and Irresistible Looking Father. Max is right, you are a total DILF.”

“Mr. Herondale-” David raised a hand.

“I heard one of the shadowhunters in their travel year calling me a DILF too,” Jace said proudly.

THAT IS NOT WHAT DILF MEANS OH MY GOD

“It’s not a rumour,” Selena spoke up and passed her phone. “There is a group chat at Scholomance just to thirst after you.”

add me to it

ALL THE COMMENTS I CANT BREATHE

“Alec Lightwood can run me over with a Maserati and I would thank him.”

“Give me that,” Izzy grabbed the phone and started giggling. “Petition for Consul Alec Lightwood-Bane to stab me with his mortal sword.”

“Isabelle!” Alec hissed, cheeks flaming. “Stop it!”

“I want one!” Jace grabbed the phone now. “By the Angel!”

“Read it!” the kids yelled in chorus.

“I would gladly let Consul Lightwood-Bane inspect my mortal instruments,” Jace chuckled and threw the phone at David.

David shook his head vehemently and threw it at Max.

“My body is just a hole for Alec Lightwood,” Max read out loud and started laughing so hard that he fell off his chair.

Lexi grabbed the phone and giggled. “I want the Consul to strip off my runes among other things.”

She passed the phone to Gigi, who looked at the phone and look at Alec.

“Uncle Alec,” the girl said. “This person wants you to crush them with your massive archer arms.”

“Give me that,” Rafael grabbed it now. “Aw, this one is a classic, dad. Alec Lightwood turned me gay.”

He threw the phone at Simon, who stared the screen and looked up. “Uh, I don’t think I can read this one out loud in front of the kids.

“Is this the one about the basement?” Selena chuckled and Simon nodded.

WHAT'S THE BASEMENT ONe

TELL ME

AWW GIGI AND LEXI PUTTING MAKEUP ON DAVID AND MAX RECORDING IT

google translator time

oooo Rafael's gonna talk with Mila

Magnus you're such a good father

seriously

“Sometimes things are just sad. So, you need to let yourself be sad.”

YES

SAY IT LOUDER

THEY ARE UNDER THE BED

AHHH MAX AND DAVID

DAVID CALLED HIM MY ANGEL IN FRENCH

Alec and Magnus hiding under the bed and spying on them is just-

Jace had tried to give Max the shovel talk and had gotten a little too emotional.

of course, he did smh I love him so much

“David doesn’t need a shovel talk,” Alec smiled. “He knows what would happen to him if he hurts my son.”

David gulped. “You will throw me into the silent city?”

“I will ask me husband to portal you to hell,” Alec said – Consul Voice. “We have relatives there.”

the beloved relatives yes

“Goodnight,” Jace gave them a salute. “Have fun inspecting Magnus’ mortal instruments.”

JACE

OH SO THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT SMOKING

damn it

oh my god guys he said he'll stop smoking

just lemme have this moment

my boy's lungs will be intact

HIS LUNGS WILL BE OK

“I can’t wait to see all the messages on the chat after that,” Magnus giggled.

Alec looked up. “I’m more than a tall glass of water, Magnus!”

SCREAMING

In his dream, he saw them again. But they weren’t smiling this time.

what

wait

THE PROPHETIC DREAMS

nope nope nope

Nah I don't know what you're talking about

haha

damn, I think I really hurt my back...

OK BUT THE IMMORTALITY ANGST???? WAS SO SO GOOD???? I know it makes me cry but is it bad that I'm always so excited for angst written by you because of HOW GOOD it is????

"When I die I will love you from my grave" I NEED THIS ON MY FOREHEAD OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH

alright I need to get something for my back and my knee (I'm home alone so this will be fun)

OK, I THINK THE NEXT CHP WILL BE ANJALI'S POV I JUST FEEL IT!!! I miss my girl so much I hope she's doing ok. Jaime too...

I'm rereading all of these chapters after chapter 10 because why not. Bye!!

OKAY I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT I AM ALSO DEEPLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.

I hope your knee and back feels better soon!

also fuck that teacher yelling something doesn't make people understand it any better ugh dumb piece of shit anyway screw that person.

I hope you get some good rest and recovery from this rollercoaster of a day.

Take care!

#lbaf

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cottoncandyjester · 3 years

Note

PLEASE I NEED MORE NSFW HEADCANONS OF UR OCS

Well since you asked oh so nicely

This contains:nsfw talk, spanking, salem being salem, degrading, public humiliation

Theodore

If you think he likes vanilla sex cause he's a gentleman you're wrong

Theo likes the thought of being tied up and dominated it's a thought he pushes down constantly

He definitely has a praise and worship kink both receiving and giving

His hands are his best skill

Gives amazing handjobs and is perfect at fingering

He is a giver in bed so he'll spend hours just making you cum over and over

He feels so embarrassed if you try to praise him in bed

He isn't usrd to feeling vulnurable

He hides his moans

If you want him to be loud ride him

He is only rough if he's jealous and only does it as an act of possession

"sweetie, my sweet angel..I'm sorry but I truly can't let this go. The fact that that walking idiot had the nerve to touch you while we were on a date. You'll forgive me for my roughness won't you my dear?"

Theodore's gentle tone didn't match his harsh grip on your hips as he leaned down to plant a harsh and steamy kiss along your neck. He was a person who didn't like being rough on his partner but there were times where it needed to be done

Axis

So he cries during sex

But we all knew that

He is a switch but either way he's sobbing and begging for more

When he is a top he is hugely into petplay

Prefers the nickname bunny for his lover

Will definitely buy you bunny petplay items for the bedroom and dress you up

He likes the soft feeling of the bunny tail so expect him to touch it 24/7 while he's fucking you

As a bottom he's submissive to the core

Definitely has a mommy/daddy kink

Touch is very important to him

He likes the feeling of silk and lace against his skin

He likes to blindfold you so you experience what he does

He is the type to remind you of the safeword over and over

He doesn't wanna be overbearing but he's always scared about making you uncomfortable

He is the type to drown you with praise and love

He just adores you to the point where the softest of touches makes him cum

Tie him up and he's whining

"[y/n], please- a-ahh I can't take it anymore"

Axis whimpered as he struggled against the restraints, the silk brushing against his wrists made him shudder at the delicate feeling. Tears streamed down his face as you bounced up and down on him riding him to the point of overstimulation

"hold on for a little longer, you'll be a good boy and do that right?"

"[y/n]! Yes! Yes! I'll be good just please let me cum!"

His sobbing was so cute that you just had to tease him some more..even if it made him sob

Hikaru

We know he adores degrading

Sex with him is rough and normally humiliating

He adores making you feel like utter garbage during sex

Of course this being said knocking him down a few pegs may be best

Hes totally into pegging

He is the type to show his lover off and show how submissive they are in the best and most embarrassing of ways

To him it's a show and he adores being the center of attention

"aren't they just so cute, writing and crying like that like a little slut"

Hikaru smiled sweetly as he turned the vibrator up using the remote in his hand. He was having a party and you were the main event, it was punishment for you being a brat before so showing you off like a prize infront of a bunch of people sounded like an utter delight.

"I think they are going to cum again, I suppose I should help them out"

Hikaru gave a long sigh as he walked towards you onto the stage where he tied you up to suffer, he leaned in close with a devilish grin as he watched your expression change to one of desperation and submission.

"come now piggy, you have to be louder than that if you are going to make a good host. What if I fuck you righr here infront of everyone? We can even hold an auction on who gets to stuff you next"

"n-no p-please-"

Hikaru cut you off by yanking your hair back roughly practially growling in your ear at this point.

"then be a good fucking slut mext time or I swear to God I'll sell you to the most disgusting rat I can find"

Hikaru moved back and turned to the crowd before giving a cute laugh before glancing back at you.

"how about we make this more entertaining hmm? After all we have all night to play with them"

Prince

He is very open minded to sex

Except being fucked, that scares the hell out of him

He will do it but he will be very vulnurable during it

He is very experienced so he is the type to take the lead

That being said he thinks its hot when you boss him around

He's horny all the time but he likes doing it in public

His favorite kink is definitely a daddy kink

Call him daddy and he's drooling

Is a master of teasing

He is so cocky during sex

His voice is sly 100% of the time

"You're just too cute babe"

A shaky breathing escapes you as prince teasingly flicked his tongue along your sex making sure to press his piercing against you in the best of ways.

Prince had exact one hour until he had to open the bar so he took this time to give you oral ontop of the bar as a reward for being so cute.

"your sounds are making me so damn horny, shit I just might have to fuck you right here and now you'll want thst right cutie?"

Yuki

Ah the underdog of the group

He is quite brutal

Heavy BDSM is his thing

Full on chains, whips and collars

Both receiving and giving

He is actually the type to be a giver in bed

He'll make you cum with tous over and over til you pass out

He takes that time to masterbate in hiding

He is very vulnurable when touching himself or receiving pleasure

He doesn't want you to see that side of him cause hes embarrassed

Plus he is insecure of his body cause he has scars along it

He is definitely in shibari and bondage as well as leather

Buying riding crops and paddles make him all giddy

He always makes sure you're comfortable though

Absolutely stop if you say the safeword

He doesn't have a huge sexdrive so when you two do have sex it last for hours

It's mostly just foreplay and trying new toys on you to see what they do

A shaky huff escaped yuki as he curled up more in the computer chair stroking himself to the image of you wrapped in leather, it was such a beautiful sight that it made him absolutely hard.

"[y/n]...[y/n]..."

His chanting of your name was low yet whiny as he felt close to climax, that feeling was soon ripped away from him when he felt your hand ripping his away from his cock.

"is this what you do when I'm not around? Wow..what don't want me to see your cock?"

"ah! Wai-"

You cut him off by moving his legs open more so sit on your knees in between them. He looked so shocked that you honestly found it adorable.

"relax yuki, I just want to please you okay?"

He turned his head away and gave a shaky nod soon shuddering when you wrapped your mouth around his length.

"ngh- [y/n]!"

Your eyes sparkled at the sight of his flushed face and you knew that you had to do this to him again

Salem

Oh boy..

Salem is an absolute animal

He loves sex so much that if he doesn't do it at least four times a day he will go through withdrawal

He likes it sloppy and messy

He is the one who is into darker and more dangerous kinks

From blood to biting

Being a cannibal he has to be careful with blood since too much can trigger him to really hurt you

You have to make sure to shout the safeword or he definitely won't hear you

All in all he is a wild lover

Try to deny him for too long and he's pouncing so make sure to keep your schedule clear for him

Eight hours, it's been so hours since salem fucked you and he was going crazy. He didnt understand why you had to do something dumb like have a boring job he offered to let you on his camshow but you always reject him.

When you returned home you couldn't help but stare at the messy house with furniture that had odd holes carved into them, you had a feeling you knew what those were for

"sale-ah! Wait!"

The male pounced you now sitting ontop of you and trailing his tongue along your neck dripping drool onto you as he grinded his hips against yours eagerly basically humping you.

"gimmie gimmie! Lets fuck already!"

"can't i close the front door first?"

You tried to reason with your boyfriend who was using his mouth to remove your clothes while his hands squeezed and fondled every inch of you he could.

"[y/nnnn]~ ahh!"

"Wha-mphff!"

Salem grabbed your face forcing your mouth open before drooling into it letting his saliva drip into your mouth before he gave you a loud sloppy kiss making sure to shove his tongue into your mouth.

it seems you weren't getting out of this easily.

#yandere imagines #yandere ocs #yandere #oc smut #oc x reader #oc imagines #tw salem

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uhhhhhhhhhsblogyea · 3 years

Text

♤| dragon ball shapeshifter au

storyline rundown

part two

tw: profanity !! a bit of gore and such

the story begins on kakarot's farm! he lives with his parents, bardock and gine, and his brother raditz.

kakarot takes his produce to the market to sell, talking to krillin who is a police officer watching over in case of robbery or stolen goods, with his wife 18 and his daughter marron.

he hangs out there and sells all his produce, making a whopping amount of money to give back to his mother to go towards their farm. so thats what he does.

later that night, raditz barged in through the door, huffing loudly and covered in purple blood. it had a reddish tint. gine and bardock jump to their feet, bardock still in his training gi and gine in her white shirt and some sweatpants. "raditz!? what happened?" bardock exclaimed, gine following up with "why are you covered in... purple blood!?" this caused kakarot to come out of his room in a rush, "h-h-holy s-shit! i didnt kill anyone i swear mom, mom, dad please, i wouldn't do that!" raditz panicked. "s-something tried to attack me! i didnt know what to do so i attacked back!!" he tries to wipe the blood off, it being on his face.

whatever happened, scared raditz enough to make him shake in fear and what seems to be regret despite it being to protect himself.

kakarot however, still was unsure what happened. his father said he would explain in the morning, the situation was too dire for kakarot to get involved - especially with the police.

in town, vegeta covered his bloodied chest, panting as he hid deep in an alleyway. "goddammit," he huffs, slicking his hair back to keep the human bangs out of his face. hes got a huge gash across his chest, thanks to that damned raditz he happened to work with. luckily, he was morphed into some other alien lifeform and not his original shift state. he slowly morphed into a bird, a finch, and flew off to him apartment. he always kept his window cracked just in case this were to happen. just his luck, we wont be able to eat and to heal he needs that energy for food or else hell be out asleep for awhile.

he decides calling off work, so thats what he does. what he doesnt expect is a man with a thick ass fucking tail and slicked back purple hair and red eyes to be reading a book, lounging like a king on his bed. "f... frieza!?" vegeta says, startled.

"ah hello my creation! lovely seeing you here, dont you think?" he throws the book off to the side, getting up and striding over to the bloodied vegeta. "aw looks like you got a paper cut." he jabs a finger into vegetas cut across his chest. vegeta groans in pain, a tentacle whipping around to hit frieza away into a safer distance, but the icejin blocks smoothly with his muscled tail.

from here:

wow!! you found out vegeta is a "creation" of friezas, but what exactly does that mean?

raditz gets taken in for questioning. he gets blamed for a murder that happened on the otherside of town, the law system being dumb sentenced him to 25 years in prision for a murder he didnt do

kakarot is confused, bardock telling him there arent any alien threats and it was a misunderstanding on the jury and judge's parts bc raditz was getting mugged and a murder far away happened at roughly the same time, and they were desperate to throw someone into jail.

this is a lie, to some extent. kakarot believes it, living happily thinking there are no threats

vegeta attacked raditz, needing food. shapeshifters need to eat hearts and lungs of animals as food

raditz is the one who cut him across the chest (thatd why he has a scar on his chest in the ref sheet)

kakarot has to bring crops and milk into a market farther into town sometime in the next week, it being an event ran by capsule corp, a company that produces a lot of housing and vehicles and being in business for 40 years being the anniversary that day.

vegeta is a mechanical manager, wearing fancy clothing that day since its technically a high spot in the ranks for capsule corp.

vegeta likes milk, surprisingly. it helps a lot when recovering damage, especially his species. this is when he meets kakarot

kakarot is running his stand with the crates of crops and glass jars of milk set out on display with their price, krillin with him

vegeta is annoyed he has to speak up to get the seller's attention so he grunts with an "ahem"

kakarot jumps, apologizing and asking what he wants to buy. vegeta gets his milk and some vegetables for someone he knows

"hey, whats with the fancy suit?"

"you dont know who i am?"

"no. should i?"

"i-? im vegeta! im manager of the mechanics in capsule corp!"

"oh. is the job hard?"

they conversate, as kakarot sells his produce happily listening as he was able to get the short man with a temper to talk about his job.

vegeta himself was caught off guard by this action but happily talks

this ends in kakarot running behing the stand's curtain and grabbing his business card so vegeta can have a discount on milk next time he decides to buy

vegeta takes the card walking off

the card has kakarots name and number on the back, a message saying "text me personally if you want extra, i dont mind taking some. you seem cool!"

vegeta is a bit ticked, but pockets the card

over time, vegeta and kakarot talk over text a bit, kakarot delivering him milk like an old time milk delivery boy

turns out he actually used to be one as a kid

turns out hes been into marial arts as well, a long time interest of vegetas

they bond over this, kakarot find himself growing a crush on vegeta

one time kakarot stops buy with a delivery unannounced, not knowing he typed the text but didnt send it. he knocks on vegetas apartment door, but no answer.

he checks to see if its unlocked, and it is so he lets himself in, just wanting to put the delivery on the counter and head out.

he doesnt expect to turn around and see a vegeta with a towel wrapped around his waist, tentacles coming out of his back, green eyes, and sharp ears, teeth, and claws. "K-KAKAROT!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" he yells, surprised. he doesn't have bangs either

"why do you have tentacles?? why do you look different? why do you have that scar?"

vegeta is caught off guard, not sure if he should push kakarot out or tell him the truth. one way or another he knows the truth will spread, so he carefully debates his options

he tells kakarot the truth, hes a shapeshifter and hes insanely dangerous

kakarot is surprised dangerous aliens exist

he tells vegeta this, and deep down vegeta is mad kakarot is sheltered

little do they know as they conversate and bond, growing closer to each other kakarot finds out vegeta made a vow not to ever get in a relationship no matter how much he envied them, especially a human relationship, a certain someone is watching them and listening in, theyre keeping tabs on vegetas and kakarots feelings

trust issues amirite?

later that night, kakarot says his goodbye heading home, heart pounding. wow!!!! vegeta is... great. very great. kinda cute too, i mean what!?? no!!

kakarot rants to himself aloud in his room, window open to keep himself cool, about vegeta as he debates his feelings. he doesnt care if this seems out of character in his friends terms, all they see from him anyway is a dense fightcrazed guy with a dysfunctional relationship with an ex and his son. he realized vegeta doesnt see him like that, but, what DOES vegeta see him as?

he calls it a night

he wakes up to a "thwap, thwap, thwap" against his wooden floor

he sits up, looking around and seeing a short figure sitting at his desk.

"whos there?"

"ah, youre awake monkey! i have valuable information for you, about your lovely vegeta." the voice is squeaky

"and, who is telling me this?" kakarots interest is piqued, not seeing the mysterious figure as a threat, as of now at least

"oh-hohoho! im dr. cold! but please, call me frieza. doctor cold is my father's name."

"and what do you have to tell me about vegeta?"

"mmm, are you sure you want to know?" he gets up, beginning to pace

"theres a catch isnt there" kakarot realizes, serious

"oh! maybe you arent so dense afterall. yes, there iss monkey. its simple, deliever some of your left over crop to my facility tomorrow, i already left the address on a paper over on that... pitiful little desk of yours." frieza pauses. "vegeta will kill you if you arent careful. hes hungry, and he wants that heart. but... i think the poor creation wants it in more than one way. kill him before he kills you."

frieza hands kakarot a box cutter

"thats the only thing that will kill him. if you dont do it i expect that delivery tomorrow by midnight. if you dont show, and theres no news of him being dead, youll be a brilliant collection to my creations, monkey!" the man laughs in joy, clasping his hands together as his red eyes pierce through kakarot

kakarot reluctantly agrees, unsure how this will play out

PART TWO WILL BE MADE SOON!!!

anyway heres the part 1 of the rundown.

#shs goku #shs frieza #shs #shs vegeta #shs dbz au #dbz au #kakavege #frieza being a damn brat lol #dragon ball #I REALLY HOPE YALL FIND THIS INTERESTING #theres a lot that went into it #txt post #long post

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thechangeling · 4 years

Text

The Box

Tiberius Blackthorn had gotten quite good at compartmentalizing. Pretending that things weren't happening, that they didn't effect him. Pretending that he didn't feel. It was almost like flicking a switch. If things got too painful or too real he just turned it off. Closed his eyes and told himself over and over.

This isn't real. This isn't really happening. This doesn't matter. I don't care.

She isn't really dead. I don't miss him. I don't love him. Over and over until the pain stopped. Ty could usually make it last for awhile. Until something brought up an unpleasant memory or feeling and then he had to start all over again.

Being around Kit again was certainly making this worse.

Kit, in true Herondale fashion was in deep trouble with multiple people. As it turned out, he was the first heir and now a bunch of people were trying to either kill or kidnap him. So now a bunch of shadowhunters and downworlders had banded together to help him defeat his enemies and keep him safe. Ty had made a huge fuss to Drusilla about being forced to help. But secretly they both knew that he would rather die then let anything happen to Kit.

So now Kit was here, back in the Los angeles institute and currently sitting at the breakfast table with that vampire friend of his and Dru. She seemed to be very adamantly telling a story and Kit was laughing hysterically. Ty felt his heart turning over in his chest at the sound. He had to fight the urge to smile.

It isn't real. I don't love him. This isn't real.

Having him this close was torture. Hearing him laugh, watching him train, watching him flirt, watching him try not to cry in front of the others. There were so many times that Ty wanted to just reach out and touch him. Run his fingers through Kit's hair, trace the curve of his cupid's bow, hold him in his arms. It was a burning, suffocating ache.

Ty leaned back against his perch up on the windowsill. He had asked Livvy to give him some space to be alone. He was doing a decent job of blending into the background with his black clothing and dark hair. Or maybe they were just ignoring him. Ty pushed away that thought.

Suddenly he felt the weight of someone hopping up beside him. They made no noise or attempts to get his attention. Ty could hear the faint sound of Under Pressure coming out of headphones.

Alyssa.

Alyssa Reyes was the werewolf from Maia's pack who had been assigned to essentially be the scholomance's liaison to the downworld and help educate future centurions about downworlder affairs. She hadn't exactly been happy about this situation and had been pretty hostile towards most of them for awhile. But she and Ty had bonded over both being autistic, and also being queer. He could honestly say that meeting Alyssa had changed his life.

He turned to face her. She was staring up at the sky, mouthing along to the words of the song. Her black wireless headphones were slud over her ears and her dark waves were tied up into a low bun. She was excitedly fiddling with the straps of her white crop top which contrasted nicely against her golden brown skin. He stared at her for awhile, just basking in her presence.

He was sad that she was going back to New York in a week. He was really going to miss her.

Eventually she turned her gaze on him, sliding her headphones down. "You have all the best hiding spots" she confessed with a smile. 'Also I figured it was time to come interrupt your lurking because it was just getting a little sad." Ty rolled his eyes at her.

"I wasn't lurking! I'm literally just sitting here!" He protested worrying instantly that they were speaking too loudly. But everyone else was deeply preoccupied with their conversations and also they were several feet away. He stole a quick glance at Kit again and practically felt Alyssa disapproval radiating off of her. Ty turned back to face her displeased expression.

When Ty had first met Alyssa she was scared and standoffish but had quickly warmed up to him. He often described her as having pure magic in her warm brown eyes, so much excitement and life practicing buzzing out of her. But now her eyes were cold and dark. She seemed angry.

"I have just about had enough of this Ty" she announced. It's clear to me how much you want him, how much you love him, so why don't you just go talk to him already?"

Ty sighed, avoiding her gaze. "I can't."

She flailed her hands haphazardly. "What do you mean you can't Ty? You can. You just won't! I'm so sick of this!" She shouted.

Ty spared a panicked glance back at the kitchen table, but they hadn't looked their way. Still Ty hopped down from the ledge.

"Here, follow me" he said to Alyssa, pulling her off the ledge. She didn't protest. She allowed him to lead her out of the kitchen and into the hallway.

"Look" he began, "I don't want to talk to Kit alright? I'm still mad at him. I'm not just going to let that go." He explained. Alyssa just stared back at him.

There was a long drawn out pause where neither of them spoke. Ty wasn't that concerned. Long drawn out pauses were kind of their thing.

"Ok" she said slowly. "I need to tell you something that you might not be ready to hear. In fact it's probably going to make you really angry. But I need you to listen."

Ty had no idea what to say to that. But Aylssa kept on talking.

"Ty you need to get over yourself" she stated simply.

Ty bristled instantly. Rage flooded through his entire being. Who the fuck did she think she was? And to hear this from Alyssa of all people. Didnt she understand why he was so hurt? Why he was so angry?

Alyssa kept going before he could yell at her, stepping towards him slightly. "Listen to me Tiberius Blackthorn. I understand your pain, better than anyone else most likely. I understand your anger. I feel it to. I feel it everyday. The way the world treats us it's like little jagged cuts everyday, slowly whittling us down into nothing." Her voice broke. Her eyes were brimmed with tears.

"But I need you to ask yourself something" she continued shakely. "I need you to ask yourself, did Kit Herondale really do this? All of this? Is all of this really his fault? Something that we talk about a lot in therapy is putting the blame where it belongs. Recognize what was caused by which person and how much fault really lies with the person you're mad at. I know you don't want to forgive him because you're hurting and your also so fucking stubborn love" she laughed despite the fact that her eyes were filled with tears.

"You refuse to move. And I know why you do that because you think if you move, you will be admitting defeat. Admitting weakness. But you aren't Ty. You are saving yourself" She reached for him but shot backwards, shaking his head. He couldn't believe her. Maybe somewhere deep down he knew that she was probably right but he didn't care. He didnt care about what he knew anymore. All he could think about was the pain he felt.

"Please" she whispered "It isn't healthy to hold a grudge for this long. It isn't good for you. It isn't good for your soul." Alyssa wiped her eyes and stood up straighter, hardening her voice. "I know you're fed up with everything, and the same things keep happening over and over again. But here's the thing. Kit isn't responsible for what Paige did to you or what your father did, or your uncle or anyone else." Ty instantly began to shake at the mention of Paige Ashdown. He could feel all if those instances coming back to him. All of those kid memories he had tried to repress.

Whenever Ty had something horrible and traumatic happen to him. Everytime someone laughed in his face, everytime someone whispered behind his back or called him a slur. Every time someone made him doubt if he was really loved. Every autistic hate crime, every murder, every debate over the concept of his soul and whether it really existed. Livvy's death. Everything that happened that day on the beach. What Kit had said to him. Kit leaving him. He took all of it, all the bad memories, all of the pain and heartbreak. He took it and shoved it into some deep place inside of him. He usually envisioned a box of some sort. He shoved it all inside of that box, shut the lid and buried it.

This isn't real. This didn't happen. This isn't happening.

Ty's entire body was vibrating now. Alyssa put her hand on his shoulder. "Listen to me. Kit Herondale is not your enemy. He isn't trying to drown you or ship you off to an institution or shove you into ABA. And I know what you're thinking, that's a pretty fucking low bar and I know!" She exclaimed. "I know! But we have to start somewhere Ty. We have to start somewhere or else we will never get anywhere. That kid is so fucking in love with you and yes he does not deserve a gold medal for doing so, but he is fighting like hell to win you back."

That much was true. Kit had been trying to talk to him all week, but Ty kept brushing him off. It wasn't enough, he always told himself. It wasnt enough. He wasnt actually sure if Kit really loved him. He just refused to believe it.

Ty shook his head at Alyssa, his fingers fluttering at his sides. He began to hit his hands against his thighs to ease some of the tention he was feeling. Alyssa squeezed his arm, taking a deep breath.

"I know you are sick and tired of explaining the same things over and over and answering stupid questions and always having to make adjustments and put in the effort when everyone else doesn't try. I am too! Believe me! But I think at a certain point you need to ask yourself if you can forgive him for not knowing?" She asked. "Can you forgive him for being ignorant and making a mistake and breaking your heart because you've hurt him too? Can you accept that he is not perfect?" She dropped her arm down and stared him directly in his eyes. "Because neither are you. Ty I know you dont wanna hear this, but you live in a very privileged bubble where most people let you get away with murder because you're a man and you're white, while those same people condemn me for being rude and intolerable." She said pointedly.

Ty bit his lip. He felt like he should argue with her but he knew she had a point. "You're a shadowhunter!" She glared at him. "You're a shadowhunter and your people have committed so many atrocities against mine. You and your family spent most of your time ignoring all of this and only focusing on helping your brother and sister. You joined an organization that has a history of doing terrible things to downworlders!" She shouted.

"Well so did you!" He shot back even though he knew it wasnt really the same thing. "And by the angel Ali if you really hate me that much then why are you even here?" Alyssa just shook her head at him and rolled her eyes. "Because I don't hate you genius. I could hold these things against you, but I don't. I forgave you for not knowing. As long as you acknowledge it and try to work on making things better, which you are, then I can let it go. Because like I said Ty, we have to start somewhere" she pleaded. "

"You have to be brave and let it go."

Instantly Ty sucked in a breath. He recognized the words she had used perfectly. They were from a song.

Their song.

Tears instantly gathered in his eyes. He let out a shakey exhale and she smiled sadly at him.

"Because right now all you're doing is hurting is yourself." Alyssa said with a shrug.

Ty squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "I know" he whispered. He opened his eyes again, she was staring at him sympathetically with those warm eyes. "I just dont know how to do this" he admitted. "I don't know how to deal with all if it. I don't think I can."

Alyssa looked confused "Deal with what exactly?"

Ty took a deep breath. "The box" he exhaled. Alyssa looked even more confused. It was a little funny.

So he decided to tell her. He told her about the coping mechanisms he had been using since he was a child. He told her about the box and how many things he had buried in it, and what they were. She cried and held him tightly to her chest. He let himself cry along with her.

He cried for that kid who had the door slammed in his face, that kid who had his interests mocked and spat on. That kid who had his heart broken over and over again long before Kit Herondale. That kid who never felt accepted or like he belonged, not even with his own twin. He cried for Livvy. He cried for that kid on the beach who lost everything. Who wanted to apologize to Kit and make everything right because he was so fucking naive and stupid, and Magnus Bane told him to go away.

So he did. But it hadn't solved anything.

He also cried for Kit. His Kit.

Ty pulled away from Alyssa, wiping at his eyes. "The worst part is it's not just my pain that's in there. I put all of the stuff with Kit in the box too" he confessed. "Like I mean the stuff that's happening right now. He's in a world of danger and I can't feel that because if I feel it then I'm afraid it'll break me."

Alyssa contemplated this for a while. "I know Ty, but you have to face it. All of it. You have to open the box or else you'll never get through it." She said sternly.

Ty leaned up against the wall if the institute. When he spoke, it sounded like it was coming from somewhere far away. "Every bad thing that happens to him feels like it's happening to me. Everything from when he was younger. When he was alone." Ty was making an effort not to cry again.

"I want him to know that he'll never be alone again. Not as long as I'm alive."

Alyssa looked at him incredulously. "Well then don't you think you should tell him that?"

Ty didn't answer her, just stared ahead. He still needed to think. Alyssa seemed to understand that because she spared him one final glance and then walked towards the kitchen.

"I'm gonna go eat" she announced. "Come join us when you're ready."

And then she left Ty alone in the hallway with his thoughts.

You have to open the box.

This is real. All of this is real.

You have to open the box.

@older-brother-kit @zafirafoxx @idontgetit-whydoihavetosaymyname @ti-bae-rius @anxiousbookenthusiast @emiikas @eutony-in-whisper

#tda #the dark artifices #kit x ty #tsc #twp #the wicked powers #Kaitlin's oc #tiberius blackthorn

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