#i didnt like that neighborhood that much bc there were no trees but in the neighborhood just northeast of there

[irishbreakfst]

Saw 4 SEPARATE SPECIES OF BUG IN MY STUPID APARTMENT TODAY (none of them were bed bugs at least but they were some of the other bug species I loathe and fear the most) I know the fact that its really hot is probably the main reason they're being so active and getting in here, but God damn I'm already crawling through zillow to find my next apartment and I've still got 11 months in this lease. If I ever see a cave cricket in this house with my own two eyes I'm breaking the fuckin lease tho I can promise you that

[the-acid-pear-ocs]

I'm reading Copper's story again so i'll give a silly rundown of it:

Copper is in the forest, he's looking for a victim of a previous ai dungeon character of mine. We dont speak of that previous guy. Much silliness ensued here but none of it is canon.

Copper follows the screams but runs into a girl who is not screaming instead just playing w a toy truck. He's very fixated on that truck. She tells him her brother died because she didnt pray enough. Copper asks meaningless questions and then leaves.

Copper walks into a man with a bandage on his head who's holding a shotgun and crying. Without second thought he simply sits next to the man, ignoring how fucking dangerous this is.

The man tells him his family, wife and son, were killed by John Wayne Gacy, whom he also calls the White Devil. Copper has no fucking clue who that is but ends up telling this man to stfu bc he's getting sick.

(A/n: By now i need to remind yall copper is a detective.)

Copper asks the man about the bandages, the man explains what a bandage is. Copper calls him an idiot and asks why he has them on, the man ignores that and instead talks about what The White Devil does (takes the form of a clown and throws bodies in bags into a mass grave). Copper asks where he can find this killer, the man tells him to go to hell. Copper gets up and leaves, he looks at the sky and starts thinking of the weather.

(A/n: now you could fairly argue the victim is in shock, and maybe even brain damaged, so the strange responses are to be expected. This is not justified as for Copper, though.)

Copper has a bit of a Harry DuBois moment, directly talking to the voices in his head. Of course, said voices were me. A very fucking tired man having to deal with this very uncooperative detective.

Copper says he doesn't want to deal with this serial killer and instead goes home. Here he casually mentions there's a zombie outbreak. Zombies are living in the sewers of Denton. However despite refusing to face a serial killer he's confident about his abilities against zombies.

Copper goes home but realizes he has none of the things needed for outside survival like a tent, a knife, food and water, money for gas or spare clothes.

These things are, however, entirely useless, since it is confirmed Copper very much has a house when he realizes he hasn't eaten in days and picks some chips from his fridge. Except he throws up. Then swallows them down?

Copper is about to remember he's a grown man with a job when suddenly he hears someone shouting upstairs and firing a gun, so he goes investigate.

(A/n: I really believe Copper might be homeless. It is very likely he isn't even a real cop. I really think he just broke into some apartment and ate some spoiled chips)

Copper walks into a new place and starts looking for a girl named Alice. He forgets about the gunshots for a second, before thinking of the possibility of Alice having been shot.

Copper finds Alice hiding under a tree on a beer bottle filled backyard. She's been shot but she's alive, according to Copper. However, there seems something bad happened to both of them the previous day, and he wants to move on, so he just goes home, worried about being arrested.

(A/n: Copper realized he broke into a house and that's illegal?)

On the news, a story about a man named Jameson who killed his wife is playing on the news. The details are contradicting, and its an overal sickening situation. Copper turns the TV off.

Needing to clear up his mind, Copper goes out to buy some ice cream. He realizes new shops are opening around the neighborhood and feels happy about having a normal life :)

There's a loud sound and Copper runs directly into it, finding two men in black suits armed. One of them only misses shooting Copper on the head by centimeters.

Copper ducks and tries to run away, stumbling, until he finds a trash can where he hides inside.

Some people find him. At first, they are nice to him. Believing him and saying he should go home or get help, but after Copper says he can't because the man is still out there they start laughing and insulting him, culminating in them calling the shotgun man.

The man grabs Copper and shoots up and at him, but none of the shots hit. He also seems upset, asking Copper "what did i ever do to you?", which Copper asks the same.

Once again, Copper manages to escape and finds a dumpster to hide in, where he stays inside until midnight.

Eventually, Copper decides to leave and heads in to a police station, figuring out that if the man attacking him isnt there by now he must be gone. His panic is however evident and multiple people try to ask him if he's alright.

Copper sits down to calm himself down. A woman approaches and asks him who he is, and once he says his name she says he doesn't believe him. She then questions what he's doing here, to which Copper mentions that a man tried to kill him. The woman just gets confused and continues to stare at him blankly.

Copper gets really weirded out by this, especially because it was coming from someone who wasn't human. Because until now, Copper forgot to mention everyone in the room was in fact not human, but animalistic in some way.

It's then when he realizes: this is a furry convention. And, i quote him, "it really does seem like something out of a horror movie"

Copper tries to leave but he just walks in a room with even more furries and just, awkwardly hangs around, his anxiety raising by the moment.

As he was about to have a panic attack thinking of what the furries would do to him, a hand grabbed him and dragged him away from the furry part of the convention, instead leading him for a while to a different place. The man speaks but Copper can't understand what he's saying so he blindly trusts him.

After a while, the man points Copper to another group of people and tells him to follow them. Copper instead follows a single man, who leads him to an alleyway. The man looks fucking exhausted.

Copper wanted to tell the man to rest, but instead said HE wanted to rest, so the man took him to his house.

The man asks Copper why he's there, Copper is confused, and simply says that a furry told him to follow him. The man doesn't believe him but Copper insists it's true. After 5 minutes of writing, the man gives up.

Copper asks what the man wrote, to which he answers is the future. He says he doesn't know what the future holds, but it's going to be different from what they are used to.

The man leaves and the space time continuum collapses.

(A/n: This i later learnt was because of a glitch that was affecting all the users, but when it happened i thought it was just because Copper lost it, probably because him being nice broke the world.)

Copper waits for the man. He goes outside. Everything is normal. There's nothing inside. Copper goes back inside. He locks the door. Copper grabs the man. The man grabs him. He pulls the trigger. The man is dead. Copper waits for the man to come back. Copper sees the room to his room open, and walks outside. A man stands with a gun. Copper runs towards him, the gun is pointed towards him. They start to wrestle.

Copper grabs his phone and calls 911. The police take him to the hospital, where he finds out he's been shot.

(A/n: Copper originally and for a while died here, i was going to end his story, but eventually i changed it. This is why the loop broke.)

Copper goes home, but the next day he wakes up in the hospital. He's been shot, again? He tells the nurse he wants to go home.

Copper goes home, but the next day he wakes up in the hospital again.

Copper breaks down. He cries and screams for an hour until he feels everything is ok. The sings, cries from joy, sits down. He tries to focus on his thoughts but he's interrupted. A cop knocks on his door and is pointing his gun at him.

To be continued...

[j-elaine-hyde]

New Neighbor

Keanu Reeves / Reader

You had just moved into the giant LA mansion your company had put you up in. It seemed a little over the top, but who was going to complain about this place?! Your pups loved all the space and spent half their day exploring and getting lost in the massive house. It was just you and your assistant most days, but at night the house made you feel even lonlier than you already were. Being new in town had its perks, a fresh start, and work kept you plenty busy. You just had to remind yourself that it’d only be a matter of time before you met new people.

Like clockwork, Macy came in at 10 am to get the work day started. She brought your coffee out onto the patio for you as you watched the dogs play.

“So have you figured out who your neighbors are yet? Bc they legit have to be famous in this neighborhood.”

You laughed as you sipped your coffee. “No, I haven’t done much exploring. With all the trees, gates, and fences I feel like the point is so that you don’t know.”

“Ohhh I wonder if we got one of those star maps if we could figure it out.”

You shook your head, she was cracking you up with her celebrity obsession. But like most 20 somethings, status and fame were the only things that seemed to matter.

You went back to watching the dogs play when you saw Boone run into a bush along the fence and disappear. His little white fluffy tail no longer visible. You hopped up and trotted over. Kneeling down on the ground you saw a perfect Boone sized hole in the fence.

“Boone’s in the neighbor’s yard. Would you come over here and call him? I’m going to run next door and see if they’re home.” You stood up and pointed at the bush as you trotted inside.

You hadn’t really gotten dressed for the day and realized as you walked out your front gate that the running shorts and tank top you were wearing with bare feet might not make the best first impression. But you didn’t know what your little adventurer was getting into, and decided it didn’t matter.

You walked up to their gate and pushed the buzzer. “Hi... sorry to bother you. I’m your new neighbor and my dog is in your backyard...”

A moment later a male voice came over the speaker, “Oh! Come on in!” The gate slowly swinging open.

You trotted up the drive to the house. As you neared the front door it opened, and none other than Keanu Reeves stood in front of you.

Your cheeks immediately getting hot, you knew you were blushing, but hoped he didn’t notice. You extended out your hand, “Hi... I’m y/n. Nice to meet you, sorry to bother you!”

He laughed and smiled, “It’s not a problem! Nice to meet you, I’m Keanu. Please, come in.”

He lead you through the house to the backyard. Sure enough Boone was happily exploring his backyard.

“Boone!” You yelled. The little dog stopped, saw you, wagged his tail and then immediately went back to exploring.

“So you just moved in next door... where’d you move from?” He didnt seem the slightest bit concerned your dog was peeing all around his backyard. He did however seem genuinely interested in getting to know you better.

“Oh! I came out from the Midwest. Work.” You were keeping an eye on Boone, ready to shout if he did anything destructive.

“That explains why you have so much natural beauty... not like the plastic you find around here!” He laughed, and started to shake his head, “I’m sorry. That was supposed to be a compliment, not a creepy comment.”

You blushed even harder. “Thank you. It didn’t come off creepy at all.”

“Oh good. I’m usually not this awkward, I apologize. Can I get you something to drink?”

“You don’t have to do that, really, I appreciate it. I should just get Boone and let you get back to what you were doing. I’m sure we’re interrupting your day.”

“No. Not at all. I needed a break actually. And a cute pup and a beautiful woman surprising me is never a bad distraction from reading scripts.”

You lowered your head, you face felt like it was on fire and you couldn’t hide the smile from your face.

“You’re sweet. Ummm... I’ll see about getting someone out here to fix the fence...” you started towards the back door to find your dog.

“Boone! Boooooone!” You couldn’t see where he had gone. “Boone! Come on! Let’s go home! Inside! Now!” You stood on his patio with your hands on your hips looking around the yard.

“Don’t worry about the fence, I’ll fix it. No worries. So how do you like the new house? Is it just you over there or...” he was fidgeting as he talked to you.

“It’s gigantic. It’s just me and the dogs. It’s really too much.”

“I hear you there... it’s just me here, and I don’t even have dogs...”

“Well once I get my kitchen unpacked all the way I’ll have to have you over for dinner!”

“What are you doing tonight? Do you have any plans?” He cleared his throat after asking.

You were stunned. Not only was your new neighbor Keanu Reeves, but he was asking you to dinner. You couldn’t believe it... you stood there for a moment trying to wrap your head around the situation.

“Oh! Ummm... Nothing... I was just going to order in... I’m still in the ‘new and meeting people’ phase.”

“Would you consider having dinner with me? I can attempt to cook, or order something in... I’d love it if you came and had dinner with me.”

“I’d love to. That’d be great.”

He was beaming. Until today you had only seen a smile like that in movies. “It’s a date.”

You smiled back at him, using every ounce of self control not to do your dorky ‘happy dance’ in front of him.

“How does seven sound?” He was still fidgeting, but less now.

You bit your lip and smiled, “Perfect. I’ll see you at seven.” The two of you stood there awkwardly grinning at each other.

You don’t know how long you stood there, but Macy’s shrill voice yelled over the fence. “I have Boone!!” It pulled both of you out of your trance.

“Oh! I guess I should go.... let you get back to work.” You nodded to him, still smiling.

“I’ll walk you out.” The two of you walked to the front door in excited silence.

“I’ll see you at seven!” You said simultaneously.

Laughing you shook your head yes, “See you then.”

“Bye Y/n, have a good day!”

[crystu-cii]

OF COURSE!!!! I'd say you're hella close to it!!! Definitely closer than I am XDD 💖💞💝💕💝❤️💕💕❤️ A G R EED /hj XDD

Yeah ;w; oohh that sounds super interesting!! I can understand not pursuing a story tho, stories are d i f f icult-- XD fun, but difficult, and you need an attention span for them! (Why do you think I only write one page stories??)

OMS yessss that's so accurate tho-- like I haven't changed much if I'm being honest (I spend a LOT of time inside.. XD) awww-- I can understand that- in japan we didn't have a backyard, so I stopped going outside much at all-- occasionally I biked to convenience stores or walked to vending machines, that was cool, but no backyard :/ having no backyard sUCks, like where am I supposed to scream into the void?? INSIDE?? /j

OMS-- CRYS XDD what a Mood™ tho- "oh I'm gonna continue this thing!!" *does something else entirely*

XDD It was done Against My Will™ (get Against My Will on the album I Haven't Awoken Well Rested Since I Was A Child by the band The Bags Under My Eyes Aren't Makeup! XD) MOOD-- I spent the quarantine summer doing nothing but staying up until the sun rose and sleeping until it was at its peak- where did the time goooo

I AGREE HOW DARE HE- LIKE EXCUSE?? YOU TINY HEATHEN??? anyways now I'm trying to go back to squirting him with a squirt bottle to startle him(even tho he's a fan of water, the harsh spray startles him) but anyways thank you crysss I'm never getting a cat in my life now bc of this rude child (dogs are superior anyways /hj)

(and now time to reply to the OTHER ask cause I'm efficient and not going to send two separate asks to respond to things that can be responded to at the same time.. ....why did I even ramble about that wtf henry(huh I never refer to myself by name that felt weird))

Okay!! No worries dude, you can always take your time with replies, I just don't trust tumblr XD 💞❤️💕💝💝💖💕❤️💖 of course!!! Thank you!!! 💖💕💕💖💞💕

Oooh!!! That sounds super fun!!! Man I miss hanging out with my friends-- but my closest friend(lives in my neighborhood) has a parent who works in other people's houses, so high risk, and the rest live several hours away :)) but anyways yeah that sounds hella!!!! I love that y'all were just like "okay well. we're gonna hang out anyways." XDD

Aww-- I'm glad you are!! My brother and his bf were supposed to come but I think we have to postpone that cause someone in his workplace tested positive for covid :( YESS FOODDDD-- oooh cheesecake?? I've never heard of having it on Thanksgiving!! Usually we have pumpkin, cherry, apple, and pecan pies!! (We're having pumpkin and cherry ones this yeah!! Two pumpkin pies, a cherry pie, and a cherry cobbler--) I... Have never heard of pineapple pie in my life! Sounds like it would make pineapple-on-pizza haters burst into tears tho--

YOURE WHAT-- CRYS YOU HEATHEN IT IS NOVEMBER!!!!! /j I can't stand Christmas music, being a choir student made me not be a huge fan of it-- too much Christmas music.. ugh. (Straight no chaser is tolerable at least. And Pentatonix. And covers by artists I like. But if I have to hear Jingle Bells ONE MORE TIME--) YESSS BESTOW UPON ME THOU'S PRESENCE AND PRESENTS... Ooh nice!! Pfft XDD Yess- I have multiple on my wishlist-- mostly for the switch-- OMS I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T ASK FOR THSC-- MAYBE IM THE HEATHEN--

Okay, it's January 5th! Literally not even two weeks after Christmas-- Feel free to scream happy birthday at me :3 XDD now I'm curious, what's yours?

awhhh thank you ;w;; 💕💞💕💞💞💕💞

and legiT- and omg- also what i do a lot is thinking i have a story all in control but then i realise that i only focused on the main parts and nOT the transitions and all that shit and then i end up last minute thinking them- XDD and ngl one page stories sound SOO much better- imo- not just for writing- but for reading as well- whenever i go to see a fanfic I always read the ones that has one chapter- dunno how to fully explain it- possibly cause its satisfying to see a story actually have its end other than a long lasting series that will never end- XDD oneshots are my FUEL

buT WoW omg this topic has now made me realise how i barely go outside- XDD i wish there would be other thingd around my neighborhood other than a "park" that has DEAD GRASS and the sprinklers go off like every hour for some reason- duNNo what the builders were thinking but i guess i dont mind- i stay in my house a whOLELE lot xD

and YESS IT GETS ME EVERYTIME- "hey lets draw-" *-WRITES-* XDD AND ABHAHAHAHA (NOW ON YOUR LOCAL MUSIC STORES- XDDDD) and omG MEEE- the times i would usually sleep would be around 3 am to 6 am- ironically my mom has a more screwed up schedule than i do- and SHE STILL HAS- last night she told me that she hasnt slept in 48 HOURSSS- MaMAAA PLEASE SLEEP

GO AWAY CAT HEATHEN- XD and omG a squirt bottle of water yes XDD and awh i definitely understand now how youll not get a cat- sounds like a hecka pain ;0;; i never even had a pet before (or not that i would recall- oh wait i think i had fish but i have an embarrassing story that made my mom ban fish from the household- OH MAN the shame)

and yeahh oh man- i hope you are okay with all these topics XDD and thank you!! 💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞

awwhh i see- i wish you can hang out with your friends without it being too risky! that reminds me of that one time where my friend said "hey so uh you guys can hang out at my house since at my parent's workplace someone was positive for covid" and then immeadiately after they were like "SO WE NEED TO GO TO ONE OF YOUR GUYS' HOUSE" and Im LIKE- UH- NOO??? nOt AfTEr you just say THAT- nuh uh- thankfully we didnt hang out that day- better safe than sorry xD

and omggg those pies sound AWWESOMEEEE- i always wanted to try pumpkin pie before but when i asked my mom that she was like "nO iTS diSGusTing" and im like "*visible confusion*" and lOwKEY SAME- pineapple pie just sounds a bit off but my mom was really hyped to make it xD i'd actually say its not that bad! but im still not a fan of pineapple so uhhh xD (aNd YEAH IT DOES feel like it would make those haters cry-- XDD)

and PFHAOHFA IM A LIVING HEATHEN- XDD omg at this time of year- it gets CRAZYY for me- first off- Tree is a true filipino- right when it was the first day october- youd hear them say "FUCK HALLOWEEN"(and id just whine to them like "BUT HALLOWENENENEN") and then their family set up a whole christmas tree and over-the-top decorations- and omg- if you hate christmas music- you would despise the philippines sO MUCH- when the FIRST day of SEPTEMBER hits- CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON ALLLLL THE STORES- it will drive you WILDDD ( yeah its actually a normal filipino thing- not that i ever went to the philippines myself at tHAT time of year- but my friends and family tell me all about it- filipinos are the true christmas maniacs XDDD)

and awhhh choir must be a pain ;0;;; that would remind me how on one concert- the beginners class of choir screamed on purpose even though they werent supposed to- the teacher got so pissed XDDD and YESSS PRESENTSSSS- and awh man- i actually dont own ANY consoles at all- so the only things i can ask for is steam games- last year for christmas i got just shapes and beats- which was WORTHHH

and oo YAY- now i shall mark that on my calander- XD and mine is february 7!

[queenerdloser]

so i’m going to type this out so i can hopefully purge it out of my memory & because there’s no better audience than.a bunch of strangers on the internet. tw for some gross conservative opinions i guess.

so quick context; my step-dad is a hardline conservative and my mom has basically swallowed his bullshit hook line and sinker. they are, both of them, extremely inflexible when it comes to their opinions and very unwilling to listen to anyone who disagrees with them. i’m living temporarily in their apartment since i just moved back into the country.

so they came home tonight for the first time since i arrived back from japan and we were having dinner. i brought up that my sister wanted to take a trip since kids are doing online schooling here, which my step-dad immediately jumped on how it was not good and my mom started in on how it was so terrible for kids and how “they” want to bring down education and how the entire situation right now somehow reminded her of fahrenheit 451. when i asked who the hell the “they” was, it became an increasingly convoluted rant about the oppressive government that is somehow restricting american freedom bc they might require everyone to have a corona vaccine... which my step-dad, with all seriousness, thinks could contain a microchip to monitor the population. 

so i point out how insane this entire reasoning is (when asked why he thinks this, he basically just said “well BILL GATES backed a vaccine and he’s the ceo of microsoft!! so!!” and i was like ??? is that a logical argument or?? i mean i’m no bill gates fan but that’s a hell of a fucking leap to make) they turned around and started waxing on about how america was founded on FREEDOM (and i use all caps bc that’s literally how they talked about it). when i, again, pointed out that at america’s founding it was actually just freedom for white men, my step-dad was like “well that doesn’t matter!! are you telling me bc some people didnt have freedom it’s okay to take away my freedom now?” and my mom was in the background literally screaming at me about how i need to have loyalty to my country and how it’s written in the constitution that you have to be loyal or you can’t be a citizen (which is uh... very not true unless i’m misremembering the constitution) and i should just leave the country if i hated it so much. when i explained that being critical of my country is very different from being an actual traitor, she just kept repeating that i needed to be loyal and then couldn’t fucking explain at all what being “disloyal” meant. 

(also they brought up how the protestors were trying to change the country and they shouldn’t be allowed to do that and when i was like “uh actually we have changed the country many times over. the founding fathers changed their country!!” my step-dad and mom were both yelling about how, actually, the founding fathers created a country as if they didn’t do it in direct opposition to the british and a big old fuck you to their mother country. my parents are both die-hard founding fathers supporters so i didn’t bring up the whole “i mean they were wealthy white slave owners so can we stop idolizing them” argument either - wouldn’t have been worth it.)

meanwhile my literally insane step-father is going on and on about how people die everyday so the government shouldn’t require a corona vaccine - it’s people’s own lives they’re putting at risk (ignoring, of course, that by contracting the disease without a vaccine they risk further spread through vulnerable populations that can’t be vaccinated for health reasons a la the return of the measles). i told him it was beyond disrespectful to people suffering from corona and the thousands who’ve died from it to diminish it to some bullshit “well people die everyday” argument and he scoffed and told me it didn’t matter bc more people died from car accidents than corona. (which, when i checked later, is also very much not true lmao)

okay, i pointed out, but there are regulations in place to make cars safer and lesson accidents, right? he then somehow made the very insane leap that the government has no right to require people to wear their seatbelts because the choice to not wear a seatbelt and endanger your own life should be entirely up to you and that it’s somehow a restriction of freedom to make it illegal to not wear your seatbelt. i didn’t say this at the time but now i’m thinking that i probably should have brought up that people regularly choose to flout this law anyway, it’s not a jail-able offense, and most of the time cops do not run people down for not wearing a seatbelt - so it’s a fucking moot point, bc it’s a law we regard as cavalierly as jaywalking. and not wearing a seatbelt and getting into an accident can cause other people to die or make things worse for other people in your car. and.... like yeah, i really DON’T care if the govt decides to create regulations that are designed to decrease loss of life even should someone decide they want to lose their life. saying “oh well someone should have the right to choose to risk their lives without that damn government interference” is a very wild argument. like sorry the govt wants you to stay safe and alive in your car, i guess??? how dare they try to lessen the loss of life and set regulations for drivers and car companies to follow?????????

anyway, this then completely unravels into me bringing up again that i explicitly don’t trust trump’s government with how they handle the virus & our real concern should be big pharma jacking up vaccine costs just bc they can and my step-dad went on a long diatribe about how vaccine research costs money and it’s totally cool if they decide to make the vaccine itself 3x the production costs. when i brought up (stupidly) that i thought the vaccine should actually be free if the govt is really going to require everyone to take it, he basically exploded and went on a long gibbering rant about how could i expect anyone to do anything for free, we might as well let everyone do their job for free! who’s going to pay for it? was repeated over and over again. he brought up free education and was not happy when i explained that i was very fine with my taxes going to paying for free education instead of military expenses.

finally, the icing on this very shitty hour of my life was my mom trying to tell me with all seriousness that trump is not an idiot, that i should respect him for being a “financial wizard” (literally her words!!!) and that i can’t criticize or disrespect him bc he’s a president. when i pointed out that a) i didn’t vote for him so i don’t actually acknowledge him as “my” president and b) that’s fucking insane, she started in how she didn’t “raise me this way” and that, once again, I was being disloyal to my country, that i was clearly uneducated and didn’t know anything about american history, and that i was being brainwashed and overtaken by propaganda. (when i told her flatout that the only one being brainwashed and overtaken by propaganda was her, she was also not happy.)

i brought up how trump wants to try to delay the election - my step-dad scoffed and asked where i got my information. the news, i said, bc i read the article from the bbc. THE NEWS? he said with complete disbelief. YOU CAN’T BELIEVE ANYTHING YOU HEAR IN THE NEWS. okay, i said with increasing disbelief that this was my life. well then how do you get your information? my mom chimes in with a hysterical: FROM MY GUT. 

(i told my step-dad i read a variety of news articles and he told me he does too, but then he went on about how i apparently read the “wrong” news bc i happen to disagree with all of his insane arguments.)

i pointed out that i might like trump more if he was at all competent, compassionate, interested in doing his job, and not sexist, racist, and homophobic. my step-dad, completely unwilling to entertain the idea that he might be wrong, scoffed and said that trump wasn’t racist. okay, i said with the increasing desire to murder something. how is that something you can possibly say. my step-dad goes on to smugly assure me that someone who hires black people can’t be racist, actually. unsure of how to even begin dismantling this mind-numbingly bad logic, i countered with the assertion that trump has been openly racist on many platforms. my step-dad and my mom turned towards talking about how “noticing someone’s race isn’t racist!” and “isn’t your bias against white people actually racist?” and that’s when i fucking lost it, grabbed my keys and my phone and ran out of the apartment to go have a fucking panic attack in the fucking backyard. 

this was like an hour. my mom was screaming at me for like half of it and my step-dad was yelling and they constantly kept fucking talking over me and going round and fucking round in circles or making nonsensical general statements (”money doesn’t grow on trees!” “what about FREEDOM?” “loyalty is everything!” and so on). there was a literal comparison of being required to take a vaccine to nazi fucking germany. (my step-dad, clearly displaying how little he thinks of my intelligence, had the gall to try to “explain” to me that they killed jewish people during nazi germany. yeah dude. i learned that in fucking elementary school. i’m aware.) i was told that i was “too young” to understand what i was talking about, that i had no critical thinking skills, that my criticism of my country was treasonous and that i should just leave if i didn’t want to be here. 

i left for two hours. i’m still shaking bc i had a panic attack & then several smaller attacks while i was walking around my neighborhood trying to figure out if i should disappear until they went to sleep and how the hell i’m going to stay in their household until september, where i thankfully have alternate housing lined up. my mom just came into my room all remorseful, trying to get me to tell her where i was and apologizing in a way that didn’t actually apologize at all (”i’m sorry for what happened” she said, not all enunciating that she’s sorry for yelling at me, calling me names, undermining my critical thought, and basically being an all-out fanatical asshole for no imaginable reason. “and on our first night together, too!” she added, as if this happened somehow out of her control.)

i knew that living with them would be uncomfortable but i seriously had no idea that i would be standing there, making jokes and trying to calmly explain myself in the face of their loud vitriol. like. i wasn’t yelling! i think the only time i even snapped at them was when they tried to cut me off when i was talking. i tried to crack wise, to get them to see the utter ridiculousness they were spouting and yet!! they were both so violently, fanatically angry at me for just like... not thinking america is the greatest country in the world. not thinking trump is actually a good president. not agreeing that a corona vaccine is actually a secret ploy to microchip people for the oppressive government. 

i left panic behind an hour ago & have crossed steadily over into anger but the fact is that if i have to have another “conversation” like that with them i will lose it entirely and i don’t know how i can live in this house and somehow do the mental gymnastics to avoid all “taboo” subjects. my mom clearly wants to pretend it didn’t happen, which is honestly her m.o. whenever we fight, but how the fuck am i supposed to forget her calling me a traitor and ranting at me about how uneducated and dimwitted i am? 

god. i’ll probably delete this, but i needed to lay it all out. in case anyone was wondering YES people who think this utter bullshit do exist and apparently i’m so blessed i get to have one of them as my own fucking mother. 

[caandlelit]

dabihawks hogwarts au bc im fucking tired of the same old canon angsty “romeo and juliet” “enemies to friends to lovers” bullshit theres too much angst and way too less cliché happy endings and I wanted a harry potter au

well first off houses

for dabi I had this whole plot idea

that his whole family has been in gryffindor 

and that endeav*r would fucking murder him if he got in slytherin bc 

“those snakes are evil touya” 

so of course he tries his fucking level best

to not get in gryffindor

despite having some of the characteristics

he is brave

but hes a rebellious idiot in the opposite situation as sirius black

so hes determined to get in slytherin if its the last thing he does

he fukcing. okay.

okay so he puts on the sorting hat.

and immediately the hats like:

“ah mister todo-”

“slytherinslytherinslytherinslytherinslyth-”

“wh-”

“PLEASE”

this goes on with him not letting the hat talk for like five minutes

(but his fire is blue 

so I rly wanted him to be in ravenclaw

it mATCHES CMON)

the hat decides on ravenclaw

bc he just doesn't have the cunning and ambition it takes to be a slytherin i mean cmon his life goal is to destroy his dad and in canon he literally joined the league of villains to do it 

wow so cunning

plus he looks good in blue

and so he gets in ravenclaw 

hes annoyed but

“it’ll do I guess”

it’d make rei happy

hawks however gets into gryffindor the second he puts on the hat

and his reaction is

‘nice’

they met on the train

dabi was sitting in his own compartment when a kid with the prettiest goddamn eyes hes ever seen in his admittedly short life steps inside

‘hi can I stay here”

“hi can you stay forever”

‘what’

“nothing”

hawks is a neglected muggleborn who was using his magic discreetly to save people in his sketchy neighborhood

then the ministry found him and the aurors were pissed off that a muggleborn kid was better at saving people than them

so they took him in and the rest is history

dabi is a pureblood who hates his shitty abusive dad and loves his mom and siblings

and is determined to rebel as much as he can to piss off that dick

they’re best friends immediately

dabi likes magical history

bc the teacher doesnt notice anything so he can slack off and hes good at studying on his own so he passes

so he can catch some sleep in those classes

hawks likes charms bc hes good at it

he makes puns about how “charming he is”

dabi pretends he finds it annoying

(he doesn’t)

(bc he knows its true)

and his favorite spell is wingardium leviosa 

like its his go to

to the point that dabi doesn't even notice when things just float by him

until one day its him thats floating

and he just gives hawks a deadpan look

“seriously”

‘in my defence you weren't paying attention to me’

but they both love defence and potions

bc those are the only classes gryffindor and ravenclaw have together

they sit together and fuck around 

to the point that the teachers get pissed and kick them out

which just makes them run to the grounds and sit near to the black lake

they have a tree thats like their spot

its a common sight to see dabi lying with his head on hawks lap

while hawks is leaning against the tree smiling fondly at him with his hands threaded through dabi’s hair

they start dating in fifth year

or more like dabi stutters his way through asking him out

“hey d-dyou wanna go to hogsmede w’me”

‘we?? always go together so yeah ?? and its not like i’d go alone??? cmon thats just sad who goes to hogsmede alone smh”

“n-nonono I mean. like. on a (incomprehensible mumbling)”

‘what are u saying u moron I literally cannot hear you”

“(inhale) GO ON A DATE WITH ME”

‘yeah ok”

hawks was totally freaking out on the inside and he was blushing faintly too but dabi didnt notice bc

dabi was so confused and hes like explaining “on a date-date. like I like you. like i wanna be boyfriends date”

‘yea I know I said yes’

“haah??”

hawks confesses later than day that hes liked dabi since second year

“ha, well, I got you beat there buddy ive been in love with you since we met on the train”

‘what’

“oh shit gtg’

dabi dyes his hair in 4th year

hes like “well if I have a little town with a drugstore near my school I gotta take advantage dont I”

hawks’ only response is ‘go with black’

and when he gets piercings over the summer thats the limit

hawks cant handle it

hes dying dabi looks so gooddd

he hangs out with miruko more just to rant about how hot dabi is

‘I CANNOT HANDLE THIS HE WAS SAYING THE OTHER DAY THAT HE WANTS TATTOOS I WOULD ACTUALLY DIE’

(miruko tells dabi one day in the future about all of hawk’s bs

theyre in the three broomsticks

dabis wisely drinking butterbeer

hawks took like ten shots of firewhisky and went out like a light

he just leant on dabi’s shoulder and thats where he stayed, snoring, for the next half hour before dabi takes him home

miruko “yknow hes so in love with you he used to complain about how pretty u are”

dabi “wait back up he likes me???”

*softly but with feeling* ‘what the literal fuck dabi’

“HAWKS LIKES ME???”

dabi shakes hawks awake wildly

“hawks wake up do you like me???” “babe we’re literally married’)

and they live happily ever after and nothing bad happens ever ty for coming to my tedtalk

[toosoonforyoutosay]

so much has happened. I got accepted to the 3 unis i applied for which is great. and I accepted one and currently am in genetics, stats, and japanese language. Its a lot of studying for genetics but I am very excited and grateful to be able to be admitted at this school. anyways besides that I also had some bad moments. Like in August a lot of things piled up. A car crashed into my room, our a/c broke down, our washer broke down, our water filter broke down, our neighbors were being very loud and rude to the neighborhood (playing loud music, leaving or breaking their beer bottles on the ground and in front of their neighbor's house, leaving their trash on the street[once one of them actually shot a gun at the ground a few times bc they were arguing with someone at 1 am), having problems with my friend, having problems with a family member. Then in september, our microwave broke down, our neighbors were shooting paintball guns in the neighborhood (eventually the cops did visit prob to warn them but the car that carried the guns ended up crashing into our neighbor's tree prob bc they tried to avoid the cops) (cops were called on them several times these past 2 months) then a car crashed again but this time into the tree next to our house (and the first crash into our house left me very shaken so my reaction to this september crash had me shaky and out of breath), finally a family member lied to us about being sick and didnt tell us her daughter had a fever and still visited us w/o letting us know about it, it was just the flu but still why didnt she tell us and now today I see on her insta that she went to a party and I'm pretty sure she invited our family to her daughter's birthday party for next week. Ugh i just wanted to rant about this on here. I'm feeling very emotional and stressed bc of all this and of her and my other family member bc I don't want our families to have tensions or whatever and stuff. And its very conflicting bc our family is very family oriented and we used to have a lot of celebrations and visits but during this time it's kind of risky and it's best to stay home and it makes me sad that her family don't lessen their outings or take care of themselves if they like visiting us so much they should decrease the amount of social gatherings they go to but they don't. anyways this all started bc i really just wantd to get this off my chest after seeing her post.

[sanfranciscoyogisunspirit]

Dear April 24th 2017 continued

this weekend was like no other. an enlightening and spiritual experience. I am blessed to have met jack. I dont even know where to start or say. friday i came over and slept over and he made a beautiful healthy dinner and we watched some of “plant life” and it was cool then made out and did fun things then slept then next morning he made a beautiful breakfast with eggs and fun things and tea and we sat in his patio which lied beneath a forest. literally marin is so beautiful theres trees and forest everywhere. then we went to hike for 3 hours and it was great. I became one with nature and the river took me back to when me carlo and mama went to redwoods for my birthday and we drank the clear water on the ground. Same small stream almost exactly. so calming so beautiful.the trees i hugged and the rocks i grabbed. englithnnign . Headed to the concrete jungle and was still awakening from my calmed and different experience and went to the earth day fair. beautiful and nice. most enlightening thing was that i held a caterpillar for the first time there. so beautiful soo so so beautiful i love the creatures of the dirt. I grew attached to it and didnt want to put it back. so yellow and blue and red colors on it. bases. so furry and peaceful. i felt its love. then got pizza at haight and went into a beautiful market. then tried to see this show but was 21 and up. i need a fake to see shows. then went to safeway to get spinach and kale seeds bc we smoked and i wanted to do that so bad. then we went took an incredible car ride and listened to such good music and took me back to being with carlo and jamming gin the car. went to his house and he helped me make a playlist for my dads birthday. he called it edgars birthday mix. his middle name is edgar. and we listened to ELO all night and i showed him all the good jams. he let me talk about carlo and our experiences. he's such a good listener. his ex gf died in a car accident and he knows what its like. they were long term. then we made all natural jasmine tea from his trees. Wait that morning we went down outside his backyard and the deers were staring at me. I stared back. connection. respect. love. unity. lol plur. such a great night. then sunday we woke up i showered and he bought kale and nice things the night before bc i said i wanted to eat raw and this morning i had his bkfast taco and kale and egg and orange. we sat outside while he played the white album by the beatles inside. I couldn't help but think this is the lifestyle me and my brother would have lived together. we walked out side towards the top of his neighborhood i played nice guitar he played some harmonica we ate some oranges and saw the sunrise in the middle of sky. beautiful and warm. we went back got ready and headed somewhere. it was an hour and a half away and stopped at almost every garden store we saw and Stopped in the farm where cows were. I had a connection with one and was freaking out at the beauty. the cow so pure, beautiful and strong. I love the cow. she was gorgeous, she had big beautiful eyes and her coat so nice, her face was so sweet, she was sos sweet. she meant no harm, she was at peace. along w with the other cows. I want to go into a farm. that experience was like no other. We we went to thrift shop i got cute gyspsy skirts when originally i wanted overalls and we went to the beach and meditated and I said some mantras and it was so enlightening i cannot even put into words. we ran around the beach we stopped at every tipi we climbed to rocks we laughed we danced we meditated some more. the air was cold. the breeze felt like the air from the north pole was traveling to us, but once i meditated and said my mantras, i felt no discomfort, just pure joy. we drove back and talked for ever, about everything. jack is an eniglithenment and i am grateful. theres so much more to the story. but its time for bed. i have to wake up soon for yoga, ceremony, talk with my mentor, and another day under the sun.