#i didnt wanna Make A Thing about it bc then that's like. ALL people will call you. if you ask them to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crunchycrystals · 11 days

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still can't get over the stupid goddamn anthpo video. genuinely fucking disgusted thinking ab it

#crunchyposts #yt #bro that was full bullying right. that was bullying. this was absolutely in bad faith right im not crazy #thank god the party clips were edited out but jesus christ they shouldnt have been there in the first place #more than 200k people saw that. including me. and god i wish i didnt #gonna watch the kurtis conner vid on furries to cleanse myself bc he is ACTUALLY going into the topic from not a bad faith pov #im not crazy ab everything kurtis does i think hes walking a thin line sometimes between bullying and no bullying #but god its nowhere near as bad as what anthpo did #edit i did actually watch the kurtis vid its really good still !!!!#a lot of the jokes arent punching down on furries which made me realize. how much of anthpo's vid was that #the comment section is very respectful and like not even on a furry note the pacing is way slower which i prefer #the anthpo vid is a bit too. high energy for me i need to chill for a second between jokes and all that #edit like 2-3 days after i posted this im getting notes on it and i just wanna say like #even before the party thing this vid rubbed me the wrong way and i knew it was because i saw a more empathetic video about furries #genuienlyy from a place of trying to understand the community not just making fun of them and it was kurtis' video #check it out if you havent its like if that one part of his video thats like a minute of defending furries was. longer and good

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liquidstar · 2 months

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a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

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skrunksthatwunk · 1 month

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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

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be-good-to-bugs · 1 month

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maybe i am cool and fun to be around. i feel like people dont like me but ive hardly been around anyone in so long so i have no proof of that.

#the bin #there have been some people who seemed to wanna be friends. i wish it couldve happened.#there was one of my sisters old coworkers who said they wanted to be friends. i really wanted to get to know them and hangout but i didnt #have tbeir contact info and my sister kept randomly having falling outs with them bc shes the worst #they stopped wanting to be around my sister. apparently they still wanted to be my friend but i never got her contact info #she seemed so cool. she showed me her los and monster high collection one of the few times we hung out. i wish we coulda watched #barbie movies together or smth. but no.#how do you meet people? where do you meet people who like the some kinda stuff you do? is it all just luck based?#ive been thinking music shows might be a good idea to try n meet people. that seems to be where a lot of people meet their cool alt friends #i wish i wasnt so lost on how social stuff works. others seem to just make friends wherever. but whenever i talk to people it ends quickly #how do you turn an acquaintance into a friend? some people will meet somone once in a circumstance where theyd never run into them again #and theyll become friends. how do they do that? i know its not luck. how do people have conversations in ways that lead to that?#how do you even learn you have these common interests or that you just like their personality? i hardly know what to talk about that isnt #immediately relevant. i do pretty well socially in work settings bc i can make some casual conversation but its all pretty enpty #i feel so awful every second of the day. nothing distracts me from it. i just wanna talk to someone. watch a show with someone #hold soneones hand. not be alone all the time.#i miss telling jokes. its like such a big part of me and how i interact with people. i have bareky gotten to joke around with anyone in #months. i think that especially is crushing me honestly #i just. i feel SO BAD. every day feels so long and horrible. its only one more month and then things will change at least somewhat but #everyday is so hard to get through. every hour feels like forever. i hate it. i can do anything to feel better #i feel empty of everything besides horrible feelings

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skunkes · 2 years

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I've been following you for a long time and you seem a lot more confident about your art and in general and it makes me happy! just more relaxed and at ease

yeeeeees it's been a combination of a lot of things ^_^ i feel like ive finally started Getting somewhere with art + my learning mindset (even though i still feel like im devolving lol...+ like im behind + im never gonna actually be good...idk. finally having a new oc to draw + improve with helped. the doodle pages have helped bc my brain is just Suited for them + the structure, took me a long time to figure that out!!!)

I dont think I'm more confident in general but I've just got more distractions (proof that I just needed. a Friend to talk to since I usually. do not get to talk to anybody but family, if at all, more than once a week, if at all) from the usual bad stuff + ruminations, and I willed my brain to Work.

Like, I finally just had the motivation to fully reinvent myself as the person I've always wanted to be ^_^ fully leaning into I'd Wanna Be Treated This Way, I'd Want Someone to Do It For Me, I Want to Make Someone/Anyone's Life a Little Easier etc...+ idk! sometimes i feel i come off as Fake (but like i am still an evil little hater LOL) but it's helped ^_^ everything sucks but it's helped...

dont get me wrong im still in the exact same awful situation wrt my future and life and current housing but like I'll have a good meal or a nice interaction and its the new best day of my life, ykwim? I can handle it a little better...conditioned self to get excited over what little i have (like rn im excited to go to bed bc im excited to eat lunch tomorrow)

anyway thank yu ^_^ sorry for da paragraphs <- guess that hasn't changed!

#anonymous #skunk mail #i didnt wanna make it longer BUT i also wanted to say #i was convinced i was permanently a horrible evil person because I was; in middle school. which seems to be a common thing #but it would make me nauseous to think about. anyway. ive had a handful of people from around that time talk to me #not fully reconnecting but contacting me and like. they've also changed or also been like Man I Also Sucked Back Then. Sorry. Let's Move On #+ its like no way....i'm not a monster after all...i can fully embrace being good and nice and such without feeling like im wallpapering #over a rotting decaying foundation...ykwim....anyway. after my horrible first half of 2021 ive been having. a good year(s)#waiting for something to take that away from me bc im using up all my good luck this year + i become 24/7 crying venting #cheye again but. yes ^_^#long post -

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termitesisagrandslam · 5 months

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anyone else ever have that thing where you'd actively downplay unhealthy attitudes to casual friends/acquaintances bc you dont wanna be too "heavy" with people you arent very close with but then it backfires bc those people think you genuinely dont take any of it seriously and distance themselves from you because they think youre a mess with no self awareness?

#was reading one of those 'dont make light about having only gotten 2 hours of sleep' posts #and it reminded me of this #in freshman year there was a couple instances where i got too drunk and puked but downplayed it with the ppl i was hanging out with #bc we werent really friends so i didnt wanna be like 'hey fellow 18 yr olds so theres this genuine problem that im very affected by'#but then they just reported me to the the head of the dorm bc they thought i didnt care and didnt take it seriously #and the whole thing was super humiliating #anyway yeah #sometimes when ppl u dont know well act like they dont care about something #it's just bc they dont feel comfortable with u to be honest about their concerns over like #drinking too much or insomnia or poor eating habits and stufd #i dont think the post i saw was wrong or anything. like there are people who are proud of that stuff and it's a good mindset to get rid of #but it just reminded me that things arent always as they appear #edit: not that people who *dont* have the self awareness deserve to be shunned either. i also have been in that camp and thats very painful #(or people who do but dont care. or care but dont want to fix it)#and not fair and i think the whole way people look at all of this stuff needs to shift. but idk im just rambling about this one thing

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risingsunresistance · 1 year

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what does the "null" mean in your bio? if you're okay answering!

i wanna try it out as a neopronoun and decided silently slapping it here might be my best bet. if i end up not liking it i'll do the same and silently remove it, or maybe add it to my pile of names i keep to myself lol

actually im editing this to say i changed my mind, im scooting it over to my names instead and then i'll decide from there

#i didnt wanna Make A Thing about it bc then that's like. ALL people will call you. if you ask them to #i still very much like he and they #i have null listed as a name on priv and i remember someone used it for me one (1) time and i just #+[++%+]^{*{+{+{+ idk it was nice #im very picky about names n pronouns and i can never settle aaaaugh #i have a secret third name btw >:) i put it in ny bio on resistance day but no one noticed #or maybe they thought it was an inside joke with the theme change since i also changed this entire blog-#asks #anons #patiently waiting on sleep aids aaaaaa hurry up i wanna pass out >:(

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reinabeestudio · 7 months

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god i've been laughing so much today i got a headache now

#yomiel speaks #NOT A BAD THING TO HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ☝#but still. ouchy my head #getting my headussy slonked silly style #SORRY THAT POST IS SO FUNNY AHASHSDFHDS #i'm in my headache era... 💥#and like i said. i was watching some old Funnie Stuff earlier. legit made me laugh a lot #not sayin what it is im embarassed /lh #this reminds me when i was in a group call in this one server #and i cant recall what caused it but i just had like. this MASSIVE laughing fit #like I was just laughing SO HARD #and i tried to stop bc yknow i didnt wanna bother others on the call #but then u had ppl sending me dumb shit on chat to make me laugh HARDER #your stomach ever hurted from laughing so much? it was like that the next day. AND I WAS JUST LIKE. STOP I NEED TO BREATHE DSJKFD #god. that was a nice moment after all #i even got some people complimenting my laugh afterwards and i was like. 🧍‍♂️👑 ttthanks (<- suddenly very shy about being complimented)

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n0ct0urn1quet · 2 years

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god. i hate socializing and i hate talking to people . why cant i just look at someone i wanna be friends with and go hey ur cool let's be friends now

#i need . Friends. Desperately #but also i hate. HATE talkikign to people because i never have like. naything to talk about. ever #im in a gc with like ~7 other ppl who i was irl friends with at one point #and GOD. i wanna talk to all of them again #one of them reached out to me a while back n she and i talked but i just didnt. know. what to say #i am so used to talking to my gf and my best friend who ive known for several YEARS that when i try to talk to someone new #or someone i havent spoken to in a while im just like . okay. i have to act normal and not weird #i cant keysmash in response to everything they say i actually have to say WORDS. or else theyll be like . huh #and then it gets to a point where im just like ogh i dont know what eo even say anymore but i wanna keep this conversation Going #but then i just dont . say anything. and they dont say anything. and we go silent again for another couple months #recently lso i noticed one of my old old internet friends started being online on discord again #and i wa lsike oh my gOD its THEM!!!!!! i havent talked to them in like. 2 ish years? maybe longer?#but. idk. i didnt reach out to them. bc i was like. what if they dont remember me #thats another thing i feel like i come across old internet friends on here sometimes on tumblr and im just like oh i remember you but #ive switched accounts and changed usernames so many different times that im just like. oh. you probably dont remember me #and even if i told you who i was. that i was so-and-so from 4 years ago. you wouldn't remember me. so oh well!!!!!#so now im just . sitting here <33 i want friends but making them is hard and keeping them is even harder . dies

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snekdood · 1 year

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Dude.. my ex boyfriend totally did get me into conspiracy theory shit, even if unintentionally (i think its intentional im sure he believed in that shit. Would not surprise me at all.) At the time i was already pretty isolated from anyone online who mightve countered any of my dumb spiritual or alien related beliefs because of some dumb shit i said online making most of the friends and followers i made online generally avoid me, depending on who it was. I was just a regular pagan and then he showed me this weird video with all this weird conspiracy theory symbolism in it. I looked it up later on and looked up the meaning of the symbolism and came across a whole bunch of stuff posing itself as Secret Information The US Govt Doesnt Want You To Know About, etc. And then i just fell deeper into the conspiracy theory pipeline, traded my paganism for new age beliefs, and goddamn dude. Like we both got suspended from school bc he had a dumb idea to dumb shit there and i spent my time in detention fucking. Trying to read "the emerald tablets" or whatever tf. Its all coming back to me rn.

#anyways im not about to let yall make me feel guilty for falling in this direction anymore bc i was fuckin 14 and didnt know SHIT about us #politics aside from lgbt ppl deserve rights and to live like everyone else and same w all the other minorities (even tho i probably still #had issues i needed to work on around those things. still generally i wouldve considered myself progressive but apolitical)#and i was already at the time rejecting my christian upbringing and trying out satanism and paganism and such and so #i had a very rebellious mindset at the time. i also hated authority so the first antiesrablishment thing i saw i clung to bc it was #*close enough* to how i felt. none of that shit ever outwardly stated (at the time at least) that anything was abt jewish ppl and i was #filling in the parts about 'child sex rings' to be about christians bc thats how i knew them to be like. it just like. seems so obviously #something a christian would try to do. like a creepy priest or something. i imprinted my own meaning onto it #im not saying it was good but i definitely didnt go into it and stick to it for reasons some ppl might wanna believe #i was way more on the spiritual leaning side and the ~secret spiritual meaning~ of the world. like the flower of life or fuckin.#shit like how theres. idk. a fucking disc or something thats supposed to go on top of the great pyramids that super enlightened #people can only navigate like a spaceship or some shit?#idk the mythology of it all really fucking enraptured me. and i still liked the reptilians even tho they were supposed to be evil and #apparently an antisemitic dogwhistle. i thought it was the annunaki or whatever i was supposed to hate. at least.#the opinions were pretty mixed back then. admittedly i didnt really look up other ppls opinions on that stuff other than articles ppl wrote #like no forums or anything really. which is probably a very good thing i avoided those lol. regardless i thought of the reptilians #as being more neutral but generally looking out for themselves kinda like. the way a reptile would ig. but now that ik its a dog whistle #it really took a the magic out of all of that stuff for me :/ im disillusioned to say the least lol.#all that new age shit was appropriation. christianity rebranded. or weird shit people made up about atlantis or whatever sjjsksks #my favorite was the oceanis one where theres a star system where whales and dolphins come from #like that one was my favorite to believe in dhdjjsksksbdhs #imagine being on a star planet diving around in the sea of light u_u anyways it still sounds fun shsjskskwne.#i hope that one is at least more tame. though im sure its still somehow connected to everything else which im p sure it is #dude all of this information is just resurfacing about all of this shit. i could totally write a whole thing about all the conspiracy #theories i learned about. i might if only to make fun of it all sjdjksksks #yall ever heard of FUCKING david willcocks????#his willing cocks???????#his fucking ass #and gaia FUCKING tv #all that dumb shit

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dashiellqvverty · 1 year

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i have a headache and can NOT think clearly enough to really gather my thoughts but as much as i really did like atsv there were just. things about it that didnt work for me. and like mostly i was not big on how they did the “canon events” stuff like im not AGAINST it just at points felt like sort of redoing the moment in itsv where after aaron dies the other spiderpeople are able to comfort and relate to miles because they’ve been through similar things and this is like... that but in a technical lore way and not hitting the same emotional beat?? like obvioulsy they’re taking it somewhere different and its about like defying the story that’s laid out for you and i LIKE that but. idk. and im like yeah obviously theres stuff thats part of the spiderman origin story we KNOW this we did it already in the last movie and it was a great scene. and also like theres no way everything they referenced is 100% true for every version of spiderman, even every single one that cameos in the movie?? idk. it just Frustrated me in a way that i truly cannot put my finger on

#anyway did my Actual Getting My Thoughts Sorted in the tags. so they got long.#atsv spoilers #im on my period and my head hurty and i feel like im thinking through a fog so. thats part of the problem #also im just like yeah man fixed events in the time stream or whatever its a very standard thing #idkkkk i literally feel like im close to a thought that i cant piece together #something something what makes spider people So Special that THEY have fixed destinies that others dont idkidk #was that what the web thing was?? being a spiderperson doesnt have to do with the multiverse tho like. idk if this makes sense #i promise im not being cinemasins about the lore here #its just like. i wanna figure out what it was that didnt work for me so i gotta talk it all out #and like i realize its meta commentary on comics and retellings and stuff too and. idk #something about 'its a fixed moment in a spider persons life that a police captain has to die while saving a child' feels kind of Dumb #to watch as like a Serious Moment?? idk #like obviously its TRUE to some extent bc. they are all retellings of the same story and thats the POINT #and i get that.#but also youre CREATING some of these stories for the movie #like idk a TON about hobie in the comics altho i'd like to read more im just kind of vaguely familiar #but what i can gather he has NO cop related backstory so like. now theyve given him one :|#and i dont love that!#and its like. yeah they want something that can connect to miles' dad. and hes a cop and this is something that is. Generally Speaking.#a connection in many spiderman retellings. but. again and i dont know this for a fact #does that happen in the comics to any spiderman other than different versions of peter parker?#like saying its a Key Thing when its. largely invented for the movie. maybe?#i like the storyline for miles and im like i wish it had been arrived at in some slightly different way? idk #had a great conversation about it w my brother in the car after the movie bc we both were kind of like 'oh' abt the whole movie #like it was GREAT but had been hyped up SO much and we were like. well this doesn't surpass or elevate the first #he thought miles' parents writing didnt feel consistent w the first which. i should do a rewatch of itsv tbh #and was commenting on how much gwen sucked and fucked miles over and im like yeah man i loved that #dont be cinemasins and say its a plothole bc she made bad choices #shes a scared teenager who bought into miguel's scheme and is making decisions a scared teenager would #we both agreed the soundtrack does NOT compare to itsv

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pu-butt · 11 months

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I might come back at a later time with an actually thorough analysis on this, but the irony of those posts that go like "wow we could make a whole new version of We Didn't Start The Fire with just the events of the past five years" really is so interesting to me.

Like the story behind the song is that at age 40 Billy Joel was talking to a 21 year old guy who was complaining about how crazy the time he was living in was and thereby undermining the times before that. So billy joel wrote we didnt start the fire as a way to show that any time period has been filled with extreme events. Yes, times are crazy now and they have always been crazy and they will continue to be crazy. And theres a bunch of ways one may interpret those statements and one can see it as a message of hope or understanding or dismissal, but i'm not really interested in dissecting it in such a way here right now honestly bcs im sleepy.

It's just so funny to me that the whole point of this song is to point out that actually the experience of living through crazy and world-changing times is NOT unique and here all these people are going like "woaah this is such a unique time we could write We Didn't Start The Fire all over again!" as if that isn't the exact opposite of the point of the song!

#and like maybe you dont agree with mr joel #thats fine!#obviously theres discussions to be had about whether this time may be stranger than earlier times #im not trying to have a discussion about that #im just saying... yall are saying the exact opposite of what the song is saying and it is funny but i also kinda wanna shake you about it #personally what also gets to me about it is that it disregards the symbol of the fire to me?#like to me it's very much about how many of the issues we are still dealing with today have been handed down for generations #and it is a reminder to actually look at the roots and not the symptoms etc etc #and i feel like that goes lost when you just try to one up the forty years billy joel writes about by writing abt the past five or whatever #so anyway i would be very open to this concept if it actually interacted with the message of the original in a meaningful way #but the people suggesting this stuff dont seem to be aware of that message so....#then it's just funny and ironic in an awkward way #also if i had more energy there'd be an interesting analysis abt just kind of pointing out how this may just be what feeling alive is like?#like it's all going so fast and there is so much happening and obviously every time feels like the most momentuous time #so it makes a lot of sense for people to latch onto we didnt start the fire #bcs it does so well in projecting that feeling of too many things happening all at once

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#i truely have so much anger built up inside me about my job. ive done a very good job of making it unbearable #and after taking a 10 day vacation. plus 2 days of not working bc im sick. i really dont wanna go back #i was planning to take 3 days to not do fucking anything but my boss just emailed me with some time sensitive #logistical things. so like i guess i gotta fucking do that tomorrow. i started reading the email and it made my head hurt #and she started it off like. hopw ur feeling better and i dont wanna cause stress but...#like bro. listen. if u tell me these things u put them in my head and i csnt stop thinking abt them until theyre done. and its not her #fault bc im the one that put myself in a place where im barely keeping it together. its just frustrating #bc it feels like hope u feel better but also kill urseld 💖 but again thats just how it feels bc im so. idk how to describe it im like in a #state of post burnout. im sitting in the ash. alone in a desolate landscape and its like jesus how tf do i fix this?#and i cant even run out my anger rn bc im sick. and i mean i have the energy to run i dont feel lethargic but like i doubt that would aid #recovery lol. ugh. 2 months. thats all. then i move away. assuming i find a place to live lol. bc i currently haven't yet #but whatever. assuming i get better quickly and dont get worse and dont get covid on top of this cold bc my dad got covid #it will have been a bit of a blessing i came back sick bc i have a clear justification for not working and for telling people to fuck off #when they ask for things from me. like today a lab mate asked if i could sample Monday. which it technically #a holiday but i probably would have said yes if i wasnt sick. and i would have had to teach undergrads some bullshit friday if i wasnt sick #instead i just did nothing all day bc i almost moved bsck my flight and didnt leave home until the weekend anyway #i guess its good i didnt bc then i would have been stuck in ohio bc my dad found out he had covid yesterday #idk its all just frustrating bc im halfway in a transition and im not doing very well but i cant do anything to fix things until i leave #the southwest. like i dont even kno if i have health insurance rn. my benifits change request was processed but like does thst mean it was #approproved? fucking idk. so everytime i do anything i imagine a worstcase scenario where i end up hospitalized and damned to an empty #bank account or eternal medical debt. tho my mum said they passed a law where they arnt allowed to do thst to u anymore 🤷‍♂️#whatever. im annoyed. i dont wanna work 😫#unrelated

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 2 years

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okay besties, my dearly beloved potential audience of five, whoevers patient enough to be listening to me whine about this fic still: i cant get it done tomorrow which is a bummer bc it’s my fic writing (posting rather) anniversary tomorrow and i wouldve liked the Gesture of posting it then. but i’d have to rush it and i dont want to do that either actually. so im gonna aim for 30 june bc thats my tumblr anniversary and i do want some kind of Calendar moment here im autistic what do you want me to say. so thats the plan

#like i Could post ch 1 tomorrow #edit as we go one chapter per day or couple days #i could do that #but i would prefer i think to just have the whole thing done first #and im doing some dvd commentaries while im editing #and i kinda want to make a playlist for it #but like a good one #so #but i kinda wanna take the time for it #like idk how many people will read this but thats not really the point either the point is to make it mark a moment for me <3 #i also wrote like a whole meta about the theme of abjection/consumption that in retrospect ive got throughout all my fics #along with the trauma #so i like that #i cant post it on the fic writing anniversary but that anniversary was somewhere in may actually anyway #bc i didnt post my first one immediately i sat on it for a few weeks #but when i started posting i started also doing meta in the chapter notes so i think #posting on my tumblr anniversary would still be a nice gesture #like i came here bc my meta didnt fit in the chapter notes anymore #would be nice to mark the two years with some meta about the stuff ive written #even if it's a little self-obsessed im in my twenties it's the age #i'll grow out of it #anyway #okay thanks for listening bye

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mxdotpng · 2 years

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everyone who stopped playing pkmn games after gen 6 was so right for it. why does scarlet/violet look so BAD

#.text #'you can go wherever you want!!!!' okay but what makes this game fun. '.......you can go wherever you want!!!!!'#okay. okay fine but what m 'You Can Go Where You Want.'#open world exploration is a gem in of itself but pokemon games arent. about. exploring. especially considering theyve #not once shown any indication that theyre including what made arceus so successful in that regard #like if youre going to take something that people loved and put it in another game you CANNOT take away what made that thing fun!!!#and the story looks boring to all hell so THAT isnt going to bring anything to the table! the new power up is just mega evolution but #less fun and Sparkly now. theyre doing the literal bare minimum except if the bare minimum was a bar lower than the earths crust #fuecoco im so sorry youre stuck in this game....#the winning aspect of swsh was that the characters were really fun to have around -- however scarlet/violet #just looks like an amalgamation of what the past games were successful with but only if they looked at the surface of WHY they were #successful at all. not to mention theyre only looking at sun moon & sword shield for that inspiration #bw was successful bc the story FUCKED. the characters were good the music was good and the bad guys were #satisfying to beat the shit out of. its much the same for silver gold and dp.#sun moon was fun bc the story was ALSO fun and the characters were good and made fighting them genuinely fun #and feel like. Fun. like it felt Fun to battle your rivals in that game. i rlly didnt like the trial aspect of the game at all #but some ppl did and thats fine. but what made those fun for people is that it was like. an actual mini puzzle or whatever #and what scarlet/violet has shown this far is like. 'yeah we're kinda just putting together whatever' and. sigh #i dont wanna hate this game bc its not even out yet but gamefreak continually has shown they dont care for their playerbase or #actually making anything thats worth anyones time or money. they just make cashgrabs in order to get the money because #its POKEMON. of course its gonna be hyped up and bought regardless of whether its good or not.#nothing theyve shown has been genuinely captivating save for the short lived hype of Oh Shit New Pokemon #its depressing.#anyway #pkmn

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shooks-stupid-stuff · 2 years

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im gonna do it

im gonna draw on impulse and for fun and no reason in particular and no one can stop me-

#i have been suffering so much with 'i am making art out of obligation because i feel like i must do this thing/make content' syndrome #and i am frankly sick of it #miss the days when i just doodled whatever the fuck foir whyever the fuck and could give less of a fuck about others enjoying it #because i thought everyone would hate it anyways so it didnt matter to me in the first place #anyways yeah its safe to say any pats 'send x and i'll do y' things have just been kinda thrown out the window bc *lack of motivation*#but man i just. i wanna draw fe stuff again. i wanna draw touhou. i wanna be CRINGE WITH IT #I WANNA SHOVE ALL MY DUMB OCS IN PEOPLES FACES BUT MAINLY THE FEW I HAVE BRAINROT FOR IN THE MOMENT #yes. yes i have POWER here #THE POWER OF NO EXPECTATIONS OR OBLIGATIONS #ok i am screaming into the void cjbvcjhv i will just. go do that now :]#shook rambles

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