#i discussed this with theo a long long while back and i still have the screenshots from it but

[dickandballsdotgov]

I uhm. we're turning cottagecore

-🥄??

Hmmmm. Almost.

[starzioo]

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐓. 𝐈𝐂𝐘.

This is a AU Theo One-Shot! You’re a figure skater and he’s a hockey player. I mean come onnnn you’re telling me he wouldn’t play hockey in an AU?

NO WARNINGS JUST FLUFF! ^.^

As you and your friends enter the cold skating arena you see the hockey team. This wouldn't be a problem besides for the fact that the figure skating team had already scheduled the rink for today. You were the head of the figure skating team so naturally it was your duty to figure out why there was a ton of sweaty boys on the ice where your team was supposed to be practicing for the next comp. The boys still hadn't noticed your team coming inside. 'Oblivious as always' you think to yourself as you lace up your skates.

Once you were fit to be on the ice you entered the rink. "NOTT!" You yelled for the captain as the boys were all practicing drills. They were all yelling at each other rough housing while practicing, so regardless of your effort he still couldn't hear you. You skated closer. "NOTT!" One of the boys finally notice you and jabs Theo's arm to get him to turn around. You were fuming. Ofcourse, on the days leading up to the upcoming competition he would be the one to interrupt your scheduled practice. You and Theo didn't have the greatest of relationships. He would always make comments about how figure skating wasn't a real sport or invalidate your team. You couldn't stand him. Ohh and better yet whenever you two would rarely have the occasional interaction, he would every time, without fail, tease you enough to wear you would just have to walk away.

"Nott. What the hell do you think you're doing here?" You say nearly out raged as you skate up to him. "Why, what ever do you mean Y/n, and whatever happened to hello?" "You know exactly what I mean! Don't try to act so innocent. You knew that we were supposed to have the ice today!" You say crossing your arms looking up at the tall boy, brows furrowed. He towered over you, you weren't gonna lie here but Theo was practically eye candy. He was tall, broad shoulders, slim waist, his striking stormy eyes, and golden locks would be enough to make any girl fold. But not you. His personality and past actions to you and your team was enough to make you be repulsed by him. Or at least so you thought. "No we were scheduled to have the ice. Not like you would actually be doing anything useful on it." He slightly mumbled and snickered the last part. The rest of the hockey team shared laughs with eachother from the comment. "Check the schedule on the board dimwit! We are scheduled every sunday, wednesday, and friday, and guess what? It's friday." You say staring intently at the boy. He pauses. "Well coach told us we can take the ice whenever we please as long as we're practicing." He says shrugging. "I don't care what 'YoUr CoAch SaYs' we are scheduled to be here and I don't plan on leaving." You say with no intention of folding to wishes. His team 'oooo's at your remark. Theo looks around the rink then sighs. "We have an upcoming game-" "And we have an upcoming competition." You interrupt. He sighs, "How about we share the ice, but just for today. We'll take left and you guys can have the other half." His team erupts in groans and 'cmonn's. You consider his suggestion, "I'll have to discuss that." You say sighing.

You skate back to your team who are all waiting at the front of the arena. When they see you approaching they all start asking questions, 'are we gonna be able to practice today?' 'Are they gonna leave or what?' "So...Nott said that we can split the ice for today." The girls groan at the thought of sharing the arena with the sweaty boys. "They have an upcoming game and we have our competition...if you guys don't wanna practice today that's fine but that just means on sunday we're gonna have to be earlier and stay later." You say shrugging giving them their options. The girls chatter and formulate their thoughts together. The hockey team watches from the rink. "So?" You ask the girls. "We should just share the ice for today, none of us wanna stay late on sunday...I mean it's a school night. It's just not gonna fit." One of the girls speak up. "Mmok." You sigh. "Just lace up and get ready to run your routines okay? We'll try to make the best of the space we have." You say reassuring the girls, then skate back to Theo. "We'll share the ice for today.." They groan, you roll your eyes. "And Nott so help me, if I see one puck or player on our side of the arena it's not gonna be pretty." You say glaring up at Theo, he rolls his eyes. "Whatever you say Y/n...Pleasure doing business with you" He smirks extending his hand for you to shake it. "No thank you." You say turning around and skating back to the girls. You explain the conditions and what not. You lay out little orange cones down the middle of the arena to signify the 'border' between the two teams.

The girls ran their routines with limited space. As captain you were to make sure the girl's routines were as close to perfect as possible, all while trying to perfect yours. There was already enough stress not including the fact you had to share the arena. While most of the girls were taking a break, you decided to run your routine since you had more space. All of your routine was going smoothly, nearly perfect actually, until you failed to land your double axel. You would've landed it if it wasn't for the hockey puck that had slid underneath you skate. As the blade and the puck hit each other you fell to the ground. Flat on your ass. Your eyes shut and face scrunched from the sudden fall. You look for the reason you didn't land, your eyes lay on the hockey puck. You were furious. The girls had already rushed up to you to see if you were okay, they helped you up. The boys stood across the rink mouths agape preparing for the ass ripping you were about to give them. You grab the hockey puck and skate up to Theo who was already approaching you. "Nott what the fuck is this? I told you to no pucks on our side! Exactly for that reason!" You say gesturing towards where you fell. "Y/n, I'm sorry. It's not like we did it intentionally!" He tries to reason. "Keep it on your side." You say pressing the heavy puck into his chest, slightly pushing him back.

You skate back to outside the rink to catch a break and get some water. The rest of the girls stay on the ice glaring daggers at the boys while they resume practicing. The rest of the girls run through their routines again, you give them notes and help them perfect every small thing. The rest of practice went smoothly, the boys not daring to let a puck even get close to the cones. After about 2 hours the boys had all left the rink and went to the shower rooms or had just left entirely. You say goodbye to your team, giving them small hugs. You were then left alone on the ice.

Since your fall you decided you would stay late and run your routines until the janitors came. You cleared the cones and ran your routine from the top. Finally you were able to land your double axel without the worry of hockey pucks. Your routine included many tricks and techniques. You landed two more double axels after the first and after a couple more swift tricks your routine was done. As you finished you heard clapping coming from the front of the rink. You surprised, immediately all your attention was on the tall boy who was intently watching you. "Oh piss off Nott." You roll your eyes skating to your water. "What? I was being serious, ya know Y/n you might be changing my mind on if figure skating is a real sport." He teased leaning against the entrance of the rink. You scoff. "For starters it is. I would like to see you land those tricks." You take a sip of your water. "Oh really? I can't see how it could be that hard, all you're doing is twirling." He rolls his eyes. You set your water down and cross your arms. "Okay then, do it." You shrug. He gets on the ice and skates up to you. "Watch me." He says with his usual absolutely massive ego. You lean against the railing and gesture for him to go. He tries to imitate your routine and then tries to go for the double axel.

*BOOM*

He landed straight on his ass, just like you did, but twenty times harder. He groans laying flat on his back on the ice. You can't help but start laughing at the sight. Covering your mouth you lean forward absolutely consumed with laughter. "Oh shut it Y/n." He says sitting up. You continue laughing. "I'm really gonna need them to pull the camera footage of that." You say in between your fits of laughter. He's finally back on his feet. "I could've landed that if I really wanted to." He says acting nonchalant as he comes back to you. You raise an eye brow. "Oh really?" "Yup." He says shrugging. "God, and you say figure skating isn't a real sport?" "Well maybe my opinions might be in the route of changing..." He says lightly laughing. "As much as I would like to see you fall on your ass again, I need to run my routine a couple more times." You say folding your arms looking up at him. "Oh uhm, I actually wanted to apologize for earlier...with the whole, uh y'know..." He says scratching the back of his head. You sigh "It's whatever, not like I actually got injured or anything." You say looking anywhere but his eyes. "But what if?" He says softly, eyebrows slightly furrowed. His usual nonchalant teasing tone now completely washed away. His small remark made you pay your attention back to him, you tilt your head slightly. "I...uhm..." You say with a small voice. His icy eyes staring intently into yours. The tension is thick. The air between you going thin. "I don't know how I could've made it up to you if you got hurt...I just...I know we've had our differences, but I just wanna make things right." He says softly placing a reassuring hand on your arm, his thumb rubbing up and down gently. You glance down at his hand then back up at him. "Uhm...I...uh.." You say quietly. A dusty pink rising to your cheeks, maybe it was just from the cold atmosphere, or maybe not. You've never found yourself flustered around him before. Seeing this side of him was weird. He actually cared? Your mind was blank, you were unable to formulate any words.

You two stand in the middle of the rink. The lights from above shining down on you two. "I wanted to let you know I'm not some complete jerk I guess..." His eyes glancing all around your face. He towered over you, normally it wouldn't have mattered, but being in this position right now you felt completely vulnerable under his soft touch. You just looked up at him, your eyelashes fluttering. When you saw his eyes linger down to your lips your heart nearly stopped. As for when he began to slowly dip his head down to yours, you froze. His lips ghosted yours for a second. With his hand still lingering on your arm, he softly connected his lips with yours. His free hand gliding gently up to the side of your face. The second his soft lips touched yours, you immediately gave into the kiss. In an arena of cold ice, your body was anything but cold. Your hands snaked up to either side of his neck and face. His lips were like plush, tenderly moving against yours. He pulls away resting his forehead against yours. Your eyes flutter open. His eyes fixated on yours. Your chest rising up and down with every flustered breath you take.

"HEY LOVE BIRDS WE'RE CLOSED!"

Almost in an instant you both rip away from each other to see the janitor standing at the entrance of the arena donut in hand. "Oh uhm!" You say completely embarrassed, your fingertips cover your lips. You and Theo both stand there just staring at him. "Well cmon, I gotta get to cleaning." The janitor says rushing you guys to get going. You both skate to the entrance not saying a word. You quickly change out of your skates and pack your bag. Theo doing the same. You both walk to the exit together still no words being said. "Well, uhm, goodnight Theo." You say trying to exit the building as fast as possible still completely unbelieving what just happened. As you try to walk away Theo's warm hand grasps your wrist pulling you back close to him. "Y/n...just...I've been wanting to do that for so long, please just give me one chance, one chance to show you I'm not who you think I am." He says tenderly looking down at you. "Okay..." You say eyes connecting with his. "Dinner? Tomorrow at 7?" "Yeah.." A small smile grows on your face. "Okay, i'll text you okay?" "Okay, goodnight Theo.." you say softly. Stand on your tippy toes planting a gentle but sweet kiss on his cheek.

=======

This is soooo cute rahhhh!

[theonotti]

MIO | OS | t.n.

Pairing: Theodore Nott x fem!Hufflepuff!reader

Word Count: 9.5k

Summary: Voldemort won. Harry Potter is dead. But the Order of the Phoenix is still fighting, with two surprising allies who have very different reasons for aiding their cause.

Warnings: Pretty angsty. AU where Voldemort did not die at the end of DH.

Notes: This is heavily inspired by Secrets & Masks and Manacled. Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

That Final Night One Shot

Late.

They’re fucking late.

Taking a long drag of his cigarette, Theo looks down at his watch. 

Twenty minutes late, to be exact.

“How long are we expected to wait here?” Mattheo growls, pacing across the wood of the decrepit bar. The floorboards creak with every step. Theo is sitting at one of the tables, a sigh forcing its way out of his lungs as he watches his friend. In one hand is a cigarette, the other hand mindlessly tracing the vandalism that had been scratched into the top of the table. 

“Another ten minutes and then we’re fucking off.”

The bar has been long abandoned, making it their top choice for discreet meetings. They had cycled through a few different locations before they finally found the bar. The walls are a sloppy black color, which is mostly covered in 80’s posters, both movies and musical talents alike. Theo’s eyes drift from poster to poster. He’s seen them what feels like a thousand times, and yet he still finds it hard to tear his eyes away when he stares at them. 

An hour has already passed since their arrival, but that was due to the ungodly amount of wards and disillusionment charms that they needed to cast before the meeting, a ritual that has become quite routine. Once everything is set, they’ll briefly discuss what they’ll say, and then they wait. Theo finds the extra waiting time peaceful, usually. It gives him a chance to mentally prepare for the carnage that comes to his psyche afterwards. The guilt. The fear. But this time, the stakes are higher, increasing the tension in his muscles much too soon. He can feel the pain already in his lower back, and he doesn’t want to imagine the aches he’ll be feeling once he returns home. 

“Can’t we just kill them?” 

Theo considers this question as he lets his eyes jump back to Mattheo.

“That would probably defeat the purpose of why we’re here.”

“Sure, but I still hate Weasley and his stupid face. Just one Cruciatus curse at his ugly face would be okay, surely. I won’t even make it a long one. Four minutes tops.”

Theo boredly watches the smoke from his cigarette float up towards the ceiling as he ignores Mattheo. Every moment that passes increases his irritation. He finds himself wondering if it’s a power move on their part. They hold all the cards, so they can keep him waiting. 

Something in the air triggers, both men looking towards the door. Theo’s fingers tense around the cigarette as he brings it to his mouth to take another drag, his other hand dropping down from the table to clench around his wand as it rests on his lap. The dimly lit room has a smoky haze, all thanks to Mattheo and Theo disregarding the “No Smoking Allowed” sign that is appropriately starting to fall off the wall.

The door opens, Ron Weasley followed by Hermione Granger walking in. Theo has long lost count of how many times they’ve met with Granger and Weasley, yet it still feels jarring every time he sees them. Maybe it’s because their appearance catches him off guard each time.

Despite them all being in their mid twenties, they all look tired and worn. The rosey cheeks that Granger sported while they were in school are now gaunt and hollow. Dark circles are painted under her eyes, along with Weasley’s, and she keeps her bushy hair contained in two french braids going down her back. Weasley keeps his hair short now, and his body is more built than it had ever been when they were at Hogwarts. His boy-like features are long gone, with gray already peppering his ginger hair, and if Theo didn’t know any better, he would’ve guessed that Weasley was in his late thirties at the least. The life in their eyes had long drained out, replaced with a coldness that chilled anyone who happened to be stuck in their gaze.

War hadn’t been kind to Theo or Mattheo either.

Mattheo has more scars on his face than he did back in school, and he grew his hair long in a feeble attempt to hide them. There was a time that he wore them like a badge of honor, but since the start of the war and his PTSD becoming worse than ever, they no longer were something he pretended to be proud of. He’s since developed an anxiety twitch, his whole face seeming to spasm whenever there’s a loud noise not caused by him, or tense moment. Though they don’t live together anymore, now that Theo has full ownership of Nott Manor, when they had, Theo could remember all the nights of hearing his best friend scream and cry in his sleep from across the mansion. It was more often than not, and it was unbearably hard to get Mattheo to calm down from the vivacious nightmares.

The opposite could be said for Theo. Instead of nights filled with intense dreams of death and melancholy, Theo simply doesn’t sleep. He couldn’t, for the life of him, shut his brain off. And while that had always been an issue for him to some degree, it had become exacerbated since his transition from student to soldier. Theo doesn’t know what being tired feels like anymore. It’s so ingrained in his psyche that it would be more abnormal for him to not be tired. All he can do is adjust, living off coffee and the occasional upper to keep him moving.

Weasley leans on the wall beside the door. His demeanor is much more unpleasant than normal as his eyes flit between Theo and Mattheo. Theo pretends not to notice as he looks at Granger, who’s standing in the middle of the room. She always did all the talking. Theo assumes it’s because of the way she carries herself, and they certainly take her more seriously than they could any Weasley. Besides being a fighter for the Order of the Phoenix, Granger is a war negotiator. She deals with prisoner exchanges and, eventually, peace talks. Although, considering it’s been seven years since the Battle of Hogwarts, Theo is less confident of the possibility of any sort of peace treaty happening any time soon. For the entire duration of the war, it was her that Theo dealt with when it came to these sorts of things, before and after their betrayal. 

She clears her throat.

“What information do you have for us?”

The strain in her voice is lost on no one. The tension in the air is so thick, Theo is convinced he could grab it if he tried.

Mattheo stops his pacing, turning to face her full on. His anger is palpable.

“Stop with the bullshit,” He snaps. “Let’s talk about why we’re really here today.”

Weasley’s hand tightens around his wand, but he doesn’t move. Theo keeps his eyes on him to ensure it stays that way before turning back to Granger. 

“You have Malfoy.” Theo’s voice is quiet, tone neutral.

The corners of her mouth twitch upward.

“We have Malfoy.”

Mattheo lets out a frustrated sigh.

“We can’t continue to cooperate with you until you hand him back.”

Granger’s expression doesn’t change, making it clear that this reaction was expected. 

“He’s quite the bargaining tool. What are you willing to give for him?” A beat passes. “Or I guess I should say, who?”

Mattheo turns to look at Theo, who can tell just by that exchange of a glance that his friend’s patience is wearing horrifically thin.

“We can ensure the release of Luna Lovegood and Seamus Finnegan. And we’re prepared to give you the maps of the hidden prisons in Sussex.” Theo conveniently forgets to mention that they were already planning to give them the maps, regardless of the way things went at this meeting.

Granger turns to look at Weasley, who merely raises his eyebrows, before turning back to Theo.

“He’s Draco Malfoy.” 

Theo’s hand curls tighter around his wand.

Mattheo huffs loudly, throwing his hand down and smacking it on the bar top. The sound is so loud that Granger flinches, and Weasley pushes off the wall suddenly, but doesn’t move forward.

“You know bloody well that our heads will be on a fucking spike if we don’t get him back,” He hisses at them. “Then who will aid your bloody Order? You think there’s anyone else who will risk their necks like we have? Honestly?”

“Regardless of your help to the Order, do you really think we can just hand Voldemort back one of his best fighters?” Granger's voice raises just a touch. Mattheo takes a step towards her.

“You’ll be singing a different fucking tune when we’re dead and you realize the next on the list is you. You’re losing the goddamn war. Biblically. You need us. Alive.”

Theo waits for Mattheo to finish his outburst before he turns his attention back to Granger. He knows where this is going.

Fuck, he knows where this is going. 

“What else do you want, then?”

Theo’s hands tremble slightly. He clenches his right fist around his wand even more, the left bringing the cigarette back to his mouth quickly. 

Mattheo shakes his head, turning away as he pulls a cigarette from his pocket and lights it with his want.

Granger tilts her head as she looks at Theo, her expression shifting to a tired one, as if the answer is obvious. When she speaks again, her voice is just above a whisper.

“You know who we want, Nott. It’s been almost a year.”

Theo’s nostrils flare.

“Not on the table.”

~

Suffice to say, the raid couldn’t have possibly gone worse.

How the Order could’ve been so prepared for them was beyond Theo.

One minute, everything seemed to be going to plan as Theo, Mattheo, Malfoy, Blaise and a few others sauntered into the safe house. Quick in and out. Nothing too complicated. The next, it was like the floor fell out from under their feet.

How did things get so royally fucked up?

Theo woke with a start, sitting up abruptly, covered in a layer of sweat as his eyes darted around the room. It took him a minute to get reoriented, and only then did he realize that he was in his own living room, laid on the couch with a blanket draped over him. Ripping the blanket off, his hands flew towards his abdomen. When he looked down, he found he was shirtless, but his skin was unharmed, save for some minor scarring. New editions to the collection. He then reached up and touched the top of his head. Nothing. Not even a scrape.

What?

Slowly, he kicked his feet over the side of the couch and stood up. The room spun for a moment, and his joints ached, but otherwise, he was completely normal. 

The manor was silent. So silent that it made the hairs on the back of Theo’s neck stand up. Almost automatically, he walked across the floor, his bare feet cold against the hardwood. He tried to keep his footfall soft as he continued listening for any sort of sound. There, in the faint distance, he could hear… something. Grabbing a hoodie off the back of a chair, he slipped it over his bare torso and zipped it up halfway before making his way towards the sound. 

Theo stepped into the kitchen. A flash of movement came from the other slide of the sliding door that leads to the courtyard. His hand instinctively went to grab his wand from his pocket, only for him to realize it wasn’t there. At the same moment, he also realized the person outside was Mattheo, having a smoke. His tense fingers relaxed, his arm falling back to his side.

Mattheo looked over as Theo slid the door open and walked out. 

“Look who’s awake. How’re you feeling, Sleeping Beauty?”

“Who healed me?”

Mattheo placed a hand over his heart, feigning offense.

“You wound me, Nott. You don’t think I’m capable?”

Theo shook his head almost immediately.

“It’s not as… clean when you do it. And I have the scars to prove it.” He pointed to his back, which was covered in scars thanks to a nasty run in with a car, a Bombarda cast, and Mattheo’s lack of concern to learn basic field emergency spell casting.

Mattheo sighed in resignation before saying, “You’re right. It wasn’t me.”

Theo waited for Mattheo to give elaboration, and when one wasn't given, he could feel his fingers curl into fists. Though Mattheo’s face was neutral, the tension radiating off his body could be felt a kilometer away.

“What did you do?”

Mattheo took a long drag from his cigarette, blowing the smoke out through his nostrils before turning back to Theo.

“Theo…”

“What did you do, Riddle?”

Swallowing hard, Mattheo looked away from Theo.

“We got their best healer.” 

Theo blinked. A hostage?

“You took someone?” He asked, voice low. “That… that wasn’t part of the plan.”

Not that things ever went to plan. And not that they hadn’t ever deviated so far left and forced them to take hostages before. But there was something about the way Mattheo couldn’t look at him that made Theo’s fingers run cold. 

Mattheo shook his head as he took a seat on one of the lounge chairs. He let his head fall to his chest, as if it were too heavy to hold up anymore. “That wall fell on you. You were going to die, Theo. We needed…” He inhaled sharply before looking up again. “It was beyond us. We needed the help. We needed her.” 

Theo wracked his brain. The Order’s best healer? The Order’s best healer. Why does this mean something to him?

“Who is it?”

Mattheo leaned backwards in the seat so his back laid against the chair before he pointed at Theo, as if he was preemptively defending himself.

“You’re going to thank me. You’ll be pissed. But you’re going to thank me, ultimately.”

Theo’s nose twitched.

“Mattheo… who is it?”

Mattheo nodded back towards the house before vaguely replying, “She’s upstairs, in the North wing.”

Theo’s feet didn’t move, stuck to the floor like ice. His mind was running, a plethora of questions all begging to be answered. But his mouth forgot how to work as well. For a moment, all he was able to do was stare at Mattheo, who stared back briefly before nodding towards the house again.

“Go on.” His voice was soft.

Theo’s feet kicked on again, taking him back into the house as if they were on autopilot. 

Why the hell are you so nervous? You don’t even know who it is.

His wand was laying on the end table next to the staircase, which he grabbed and shoved in his pocket. His knees buckled as he walked up the stairs. Distantly, he could hear the sound of yelling and objects being thrown around. It didn’t take him long to figure out which closed door the sounds were coming from the other side of. He stood outside the black wooden door, listening. Trying to maybe discern who it was before he went in. 

He could just make out the wards that had been placed on the door. Laying a hand on the knob, he was relieved to find that he was able to touch the brass of the handle. Mattheo had been known to incorrectly cast the spell so no one could get through, which had more than once sent Theo or Malfoy through a wall. 

A shaky sigh pushing its way from Theo’s lungs and out of his mouth, he turned the knob and let himself inside the room. 

The color drained from Theo’s face.

Standing in the middle of the room, chest heaving and anger radiating off of like a stove top, was you. 

Suddenly, Theo was back at Hogwarts, standing in the Astronomy Tower. You were no longer in your casual shirt and jeans, but instead, in your Hufflepuff robes as you looked at him and told him you were leaving to join the Order.

“This war is above us, Theo. Dumbledore is dead. Harry Potter is dead. I can’t stand idly by and watch people die. I need to do something.” 

“Yeah? And what about me?”

“You could come with me.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“And you know I can’t stay.”

The memory hit Theo like a train. His breath hitched in his throat.

You turned to face him, freezing in the headlights of his gaze. The way your fury faltered at the sight of him made it clear that you were having the same out of body experience that he was. 

You certainly had been busy. All of the furniture in the room was broken. The night stand had been thrown against the pewter colored wall, leaving a dent in the dry wall and the wooden pieces scattered across the floor. A picture frame that Theo hung and forgot about was in ruins, the brunette girl in the picture cowering in the corner of the shredded pieces of photo paper. Feathers from the pillows littered the carpet. The mattress had been thrown off the bed frame, which was also now broken. 

Though he couldn’t focus on the damage that had been done to his guest room. He was too busy staring at you with the same confounded look he’d had when he first entered the room. 

Your hair was longer than he remembered it, pulled back so it was out of your face. Your features had grown with you, your cheekbones more prominent, your eyes with more bags, your cheeks with less color. There wasn’t a corner of Theo’s world that wasn’t burdened by war, and, unfortunately, that included you. His heart raced in his chest as he looked at you. He had locked the memory of you deep into the catacombs of his brain, not allowing himself to bring them out for any occasion. There wasn’t the time or need for it. This is war. When is there a moment for reminiscing on the worst day of his life?

But now there you were, standing in front of him, with a dumbfoundedly angry look on your face, casual clothes and longer hair. The flood gates were now opened, and he was overwhelmed with memories of you, running through his mind so quickly that he felt like he was spinning. 

Your eyes still twinkled in the light that streamed in through the curtains.

“You tell Mattheo Riddle that he can give me back my wand and we’ll see then if he’s able to force me into this room again.”

Theo flinched.

The sound of your voice alone made him feel the need to have a complete mental breakdown. You could’ve been cursing him out or singing in German and he would still feel the overwhelming urge to curl into a ball on the floor. Even with your anger, it still felt like a sweet symphony to Theo’s ears. 

He never thought he’d hear the sound again. 

Hell, he never thought he’d see you again.

Realizing you had spoken and he was just staring at you like an imbecile, he cleared his throat.

“You healed me.”

Your expression shifted, an emotion crossing your face that Theo couldn’t read. Standing a little straighter, you nodded.

“I’m a healer,” You said slowly, distantly. “It’s what I do.”

He snorted. That bleeding Hufflepuff heart.

“You could’ve let me die,” He pointed out, cocking his head to the side. 

You seemed to consider this briefly before saying, “In theory, yes.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Silence hung in the air between the two of you, coupled with the unmitigated tension. Theo’s hands were curled at his sides, not from anger, but to stop himself from giving into the inordinate compulsion to reach out and touch you. To prove to himself that he wasn’t dreaming or hallucinating. That you were actually in front of him. You shifted your weight to your other foot.

“I don’t think I really could’ve, even if I wanted to.”

The words unsaid in this moment would keep Theo up at night for weeks.

Your eyes trailed down his body, studying him, taking in his bare chest underneath the hoodie. He swallowed hard, his body seeming to freeze under your gaze. Maybe he should’ve changed before coming into the room. At least maybe thrown on a proper shirt. He’d never had a hostage in his home before. There was no protocol book on the proper etiquette. 

Especially not when the hostage was his ex-girlfriend who’s now working on the opposite side of the war. 

You let out a strangled sigh.

“You have to let me go back, Theo. They need me. No one is trained on some of the things I am.” 

The shake of his head was immediate.

“You can’t even begin to comprehend what he would do if he found out Mattheo and I had you and then just let you go back,” He said in a strained yet soft voice. “I can’t. We can’t.”

Your nose twitched as you closed your eyes.

“I won’t fucking heal for him,” You declared in a low tone. “I’d rather be strung up in Godric’s Hollow to rot like all the other people he’s executed than heal for him.”

Theo tried to be rational as he considered what to do. There was a tug of war in his mind, his loyalties competing to decide the best course of action. The obvious answer was to turn you over to The Dark Lord, where you would be put on trial for the crimes he deemed you guilty of, and then punished accordingly. With the skills you hold, Theo knew that you would more than likely be put under the Imperius curse and forced to act as a healer for the Death Eaters. 

Though the answer was obvious, that didn’t make it correct. Not to him or to anyone else.

Theo knew. He knew you’d rather die than breathe the same air as the Death Eaters, let alone fix their wounds and send them back out to kill your people. His head throbbed as he tried to think of the best direction to go in. 

Because, in his head, letting you go was simply out of the question. 

~

“This is a negotiation, is it not?” Granger asks. “We have something you want, you have something we want. We exchange.”

Theo shakes his head as he smashes the end of his half smoked cigarette on the top of the table.

“She’s not for trade.”

“Well, she’s what we want.”

A bead of sweat trails down the side of his face. He ignores it.

“She’s nowhere close to being worth the same as Draco Malfoy. This isn’t a fair trade.” He means it, but not in the way that he presented it to them. Nothing they could offer would make it a fair trade in Theo’s eyes. They could offer the end of the war. They could offer his freedom from the Death Eaters. They could offer endless riches, or immortality, or anything else he could possibly dream up. None of it would equate.

“Then we’ll gladly take Luna and Seamus back as well,” Granger says through clenched teeth, expression reading that her patience is wearing thin. “To make up the difference.”

Theo opens his mouth to respond, but Mattheo cuts in before he gets the chance.

“You’ll take what we fucking give you.”

Granger shoots him a dagger filled glare. 

“We can no longer afford to play these games with you. You have our best healer. And we need her back.” She rolls her head before her eyes fall back on Theo. “We have been patient. We have accepted that we had nothing worth trading for her. Now we do. Malfoy’s importance to the Death Eaters is well known. Don’t patronize us by pretending we don’t have the upper hand here.”

A chill runs through Theo’s spine.

She’s right.

God dammit, she’s right.

Theo runs a hand through his messy hair, the most he’s moved since he sat down. His brain scrambles to come up with something, anything, that he can offer to remedy this. There has to be something of equal value. There has to be something he can give that would make them decide to let you stay. 

“Before you try to come up with some feeble offer, know that we won’t be backing down from this,” Granger says as if she’s reading Theo’s mind. “You won’t be getting Draco Malfoy back unless we get her, regardless of what else you give. She’s the only card you have that could get him back.”

Theo’s eyes snap back to Granger, the anger boiling in his chest.

“This is a negotiation, is it not?” He repeats her words back to her. She smiles at him, but the gesture does not reach her eyes.

“Maybe negotiation is the wrong word for it.” She hums thoughtfully. “It’s more like a plea deal. Take it or leave it.”

~

“You’re up late.”

Theo jumped at the sound of your voice as he quickly flicked the light on.

He didn’t expect to find you in his kitchen, sitting cross legged on the island counter with the lights off. A bowl of what he could only assume was cereal was in your hands.

He glanced at the clock on the wall.

“It’s four in the morning.”

You glanced up at the clock as well, before shrugging. 

“Fine, you’re up early.”

A smile tugged at the corners of Theo’s mouth. 

He could feel you studying him as you brought the spoon to your mouth. A flush of warmth filled his cheeks as he made his way to the fridge, making it a point to turn away from you. Still, he knew your eyes never left him. 

“You still don’t sleep much, huh?” You asked, mouth full of cereal.

He sighed as he pulled the carton of orange juice off the shelf.

“I’d say I don’t sleep at all these days.”

He popped the top of the carton before bringing it to his mouth and throwing his head back. You watched him carefully, seeming to pause your eating.

“You’re a feral one now, aren’t you?” You asked in a playful tone. “Drinking right from the carton? Who have you become, Theodore Nott?”

He laughed, the sound being so foreign to him these days, before saying, “I generally live alone, and I never host other people. No need to waste a glass, as far as I’m concerned.”

Him ignoring the last comment of yours was intentional. Despite the playfulness behind it, Theo doesn’t know how you would feel about the man he’s become, and he doesn’t want to dwell on that fact. 

You continue to laugh as you shake your head.

“Mad behaviour.”

Theo eyed you. 

“Says the girl sitting on the counter, in the dark, eating cereal.”

You smiled as you take another bite.

“Got me there.”

It had been almost two months since Mattheo had taken you hostage and made you Theo’s problem. In an attempt to keep peace, Theo gave you free reign of the entire manor and all of the land around it. After repairing the furniture in the guest room (multiple times, as you had to get your frustration out somehow), Theo allowed you to stay there. Before his death, Nott Sr. had created a dungeon-esque holding below the house, with cage like cells and torture weapons, but Theo had the area of the house completely closed off upon his arrival as head of estate, and he wasn’t planning to reopen it anytime soon. Besides, the thought of locking you in an actual cell made Theo physically ill. 

“How’s the escape plot going?” Theo asked as he leaned against the counter adjacent from you, juice carton still in hand.

“Considering I can’t apparate because you already had anti apparation wards in place, the wards Mattheo placed that are linked to my DNA so I can’t leave the estate at all, and that bed being the most comfortable thing I’ve ever slept on…” You listed, raising a finger with every reason. “ … I’d say it’s going quite terribly.”

Theo’s eyebrows hit his hairline as he let out a surprised huff.

“Mattheo has always been quite meticulous.”

“Well, he said he was afraid you’d let me go.”

Theo’s smile faded quite quickly. 

The first couple of weeks following your capture, you had made yourself scarce around the manor, mostly spending time in the North wing. Theo made it a point to stay out of your way. Not only for the sake of your anger, but because he needed to work out his own emotions about you being there. Even in this moment, looking at you in the kitchen, he still hadn’t quite worked out how the whole thing made him him.

After the first couple of weeks, you had slowly started making your way through the manor, exploring every crevice. Every nook and cranny. Theo knew it was to look for a weakness to exploit that could lead to your escape, but he didn’t comment that to you. Just let it sit in the back of his head.

With your emergence from your room also came your increased interactions with the dark haired lad. It was painful at first, just a curt nod here and there, but it slowly built up to exchanging jokes and sarcastic comments, and even as far as the two of you reading books in silence together in the library.

It was almost as if there was never a moment between the days you and him spent together at Hogwarts and now. Just cut the time apart out and sew the rest together like the war never happened.

Theo often found himself wondering if he was one of the weaknesses you were attempting to exploit. 

Your comment about Mattheo believing Theo would let you go did nothing to snuff out that thought.

He tried not to think about it too much.

You watched him carefully as he took another long sip of juice from the carton.

“Have you decided what you’re going to do with me yet?” 

Theo rolled his eyes, setting the juice on the black countertop next to him. 

“Nope.”

He didn’t bother to ask how you knew it was even up for debate. You’d always had a knack for just knowing things. And he couldn’t imagine that his debates with Malfoy and Mattheo were as quiet as he would’ve liked them to be.

“What are you leaning towards?” You asked innocently, your eyes studying him. He bit the inside of his cheek as he considered how to answer.

“Let’s see,” He mumbled. “Malfoy thinks I should turn you in. He doesn’t see why you’re useful here, and says you’d be better suited as a healer for… them.” He decided not to say Death Eaters, but you flinched at the idea anyway. “Mattheo thinks I should keep you here.”

Your eyes didn’t leave him as you took another bite of your cereal. Theo mirrored you with the orange juice. 

“But what are you leaning towards?”

“Not turning you in, that’s for damn sure.”

Your gaze pinned him, as your eyes narrow only slightly.

“So I’m stuck here then.” It was more of a statement than a question, and something about it made an ache burst through Theo’s chest. He had no idea how to respond, so he opted to say nothing, instead bringing the juice carton back to his lips. Your eyes followed him. “Theo, you’re a rational person. You know that I don’t want to be here. Why can’t you just let me go back to the Order?”

His eyes fluttered shut.

“It’s complicated.”

You set the bowl down on the counter before looking back up at him.

“Then simplify it for me.” 

All he could say in a breathy whisper was your name.

He didn’t know how. He couldn’t even simplify it for himself. 

~

It all happens at once.

Theo quickly stands, pushing the chair out from under him so quickly that it glides across the floor and into the wall. 

Weasley rushes forward, his wand pointed at Theo.

Mattheo grabs Weasley by the scruff of his shirt, roughly shoving him into the wall with the tip of his wand jabbing into the ginger’s jugular. The impact of his back against the hard surface causes Weasley to drop his wand, which Mattheo swiftly kicks across the floor. 

Granger puts her wand only inches from Mattheo’s head, though he doesn’t appear to notice. 

Theo directs his wand to Granger.

“The difference between you and I, Weasley,” Mattheo hisses in his face. “Is that I don’t have any pathetic qualms about making a person suffer. So please. Point your wand at one of us again. We’ll see who comes out the bigger man.”

“That’s enough, Riddle!” Granger shouts, pressing her wand into Mattheo’s temple. Theo steps forward and jams his wand through her hair and into her occipital scalp.

“Drop it.”

A beat passes.

Mattheo’s face twitches.

Granger slowly lowers her hand, her jaw clenched so tight that Theo is convinced her teeth will crack.

“We all want the same outcome,” She says in a quiet voice, still glaring daggers at Mattheo.

“It’s how we get there that we can’t seem to see eye to eye on,” Theo growls. 

Letting his hand drop back to his side, Theo takes a step back towards the table he had previously been occupying. 

“Let him go, Mattheo.”

The curly haired man glares into Weasley’s face for a moment longer, letting his deep breath smack against the ginger’s face before he shoves him away. Theo’s eyes follow Mattheo as he walks back to his pacing area, and then they flick back to Granger. She looks incensed over what just occurred, as Weasley adjusts his shirt, embarrassment painting his cheeks pink.

Theo opts to stay standing this time. 

“She’s not a part of the equation,” He says in a low tone. “We can give you the maps, Finnegan and Lovegood for Malfoy. Or we can give nothing at all.” 

A draft fills the room as the wind can be heard whipping outside over the silence. 

“And again, we are well aware of Draco’s importance to the Death Eater army,” Granger says in a tone that matches Theo’s. “There is no option. It’s her or nothing.”

Theo fights the urge to curse her.

“Then it’s nothing.”

~

The door hit the wall so hard, Theo could almost feel the drywall dent. In the moment, however, he couldn’t give less of a shit.

You whipped around to face him. The anger on your face couldn’t be missed, but neither could his. For a while, the two of you just stared at each other, speaking through daggered glares and heaving chests, as if words weren’t necessary. 

It was a moment of deja vu, calling back to the first time the two of you met in what became your assigned bedroom of the house. Both times equally as tense, but for radically different reasons. And this time, all of the pieces of furniture were entirely intact. 

Finally, Theo broke the silence.

“What business do you have, entering the field?”

Your nostrils flared.

“What business do you have, almost getting yourself killed?”

A breeze came in through the window, chilling the room further. As if it needed the help. 

“I was handling myself fine,” He said in a low voice. “Injuries are bound to happen-“

“A pelvic fracture and an open head wound are both severe injuries,” You countered in a raised voice. “You may have felt fine in the moment but you wouldn’t have after you lost two liters of blood just from the fractured pelvis alone. You needed care.” 

Theo felt like throwing things as the anger flared heavily in his chest.

“I could’ve apparated back to the manor after-“

“You would’ve splinched yourself with that severe of injuries, Theo,” You snarled, looking exasperated. “Mattheo came and got me.”

Theo made a mental note to kick the absolute shit out of Mattheo the next time he saw him.

“You could’ve said no!” He shouted. “You’re not my bloody on-call healer who gets to risk her life whenever I almost die.” The image of you in the middle of the fight, dodging multiple green casts in your wake, was burned into his retinas. Despite being safe in the Manor now, his chest was still reeling from the panic that flooded his heart and lungs when he fought to get to you.

You took a rushed step forward.

“Don’t fucking do that,” You said in a strained voice. “You don’t get to drag my arse back into your life-“

“You think I wanted this for you?” He shouted, cutting you off. “I didn’t drag you anywhere. I didn’t bring you here. I didn’t ask for this.”

You took another step towards him, more controlled this time. Theo almost took a step backwards to keep the distance.

Almost.

“But you kept me here. Why am I still fucking here, Theo?”

The words left his mouth before his brain had a chance to even consider them.

“Because you fucking left me before I was fucking done with you!”

Theo’s chest heaved, as he stared down at you. The room became painfully silent, the only sound being Theo’s breathing. You were holding your breath. 

“What does that mean?”

Theo didn’t hesitate for a moment.

“You left me to join the Order. You left me behind and I went bloody maniacal. I didn’t know a person could be touch starved for a specific set of hands, but your fingers burned their prints into my skin and I can’t get them to goddamn heal. And then Mattheo dropped you on my fucking door step and it was like I was an imprisoned man who just felt the warmth of the sun for the first time in years.”

You were frozen, staring at him like a deer in headlights.

“Theo…” A breathy whisper.

Theo shook his head, feeling a mix of anger and desperation in his head and heart. When he spoke, his voice was more calm this time, taking a low tone. 

“If love were a language then the only one I know how to speak is the one we wrote together. I couldn’t lose you again. I can’t lose you again.”

It was unclear who moved first. Maybe Theo. Maybe you. Maybe both. But somehow, the distance between the two of you closed, and Theo’s mouth was crashing against yours.

His left hand was on the small of your back, the other on the back of your head. His fingers weaved through your hair with a firm grip, as if to keep you from pulling away. Your hands were on his cheeks, lightly cradling his head between your palms as your fingertips teased the beginnings of his hairline. 

“I love you,” He said in a silent voice, his lips still pressed against yours in the desperate kiss. “I never stopped.”

“I love you too.” Your words came without a sliver of hesitation.

His tongue parted your lips, as your fingers moved to the back of his head. A groan forced its way up his throat. Your nails against his scalp drove him insane. It always had. Theo knew you knew that well. 

And with that, he pushed you onto the bed. 

~ 

“So…”

Theo closes his eyes at the sound of Mattheo’s voice. His steps are slow as they walk up the pathway of Nott Manor. In an effort to prolong the inevitable, Theo pulls a cigarette from his pocket, setting it between his lips before lighting it with his wand. 

“We don’t have a choice, do we?”

Theo looks up at the sky as he blows a plume of smoke upwards to join the clouds. He can’t look at Mattheo.

“No,” He finally says. “We don’t.”

Mattheo pulls a smoke of his own out, lighting it before taking a deep inhale. The only sounds in the air are the wind and his exhale.

“What if we just stopped aiding them?” He suggested after a beat too long of silence. “They’re losing. They need the information we’re feeding them. A few weeks without it would have them feeding out of our palms.”

Theo considers this as he plops down on the top step leading onto the porch. The cold from the wood seeps through his trousers.

Not that his body held any warmth to begin with. Not since he walked out of that bar.

“We don’t have a few weeks.”

Another cloud fills the air.

“The Dark Lord wants Malfoy back now.”

Theo’s heart already feels hollow as he thinks about what he is getting ready to do. 

Mattheo paces the cobblestone pathway, running his fingers through his curls as he takes another long drag of his cigarette.

“There has to be a way.”

Theo studies his friend. There’s very few people Mattheo holds loyalty to. The Order wasn’t on the list, despite the way they were risking everything to help them. The other Death Eaters didn’t have it. Hell, even his own father only held enough of Mattheo’s loyalty to keep him alive. Not enough for it to matter.

But Mattheo, from the moment they met until this moment in front of Nott Manor, was always fiercely loyal to Theo. And the way he desperately tries to come up with a solution to fix this for Theo pulls at his heart.

Because his loyalty to Theo also extends to you. When Theo told Mattheo that he was planning to betray Voldemort’s army in an effort to end the war and keep you with him, Mattheo wasted no time in joining him. No questions asked.

Mattheo was willing to risk his head to keep you safe if that was what Theo needed. And in this moment, Theo knew he didn’t thank his friend enough. 

His hands shake slightly as he brings the cigarette back to his mouth.

“I don’t think there is.”

He doesn’t want to sound as defeated as he does. But as his mind runs a million kilometers a second, it still comes up short on a way of getting out of this. 

Mattheo shakes his head angrily.

“This is bullshit.”

And Theo says nothing, his gaze fixed on the ground as he finishes his cigarette, and plans what he’s going to say once he goes inside. 

~

Oh Merlin, do I really have to leave?

Theo sat on the edge of his bed, staring down at your sleeping form. Your back was facing him, the blanket low enough to show the bare skin of your upper torso. 

He swallowed hard.

Five minutes. Just another five minutes.

But he knew he wouldn’t stop at five.

He was in his Death Eater robes, dressed to leave. This meeting wasn’t one he could afford to miss, and yet, watching you sleep in his bed was enough to make him at least consider it. 

Reaching over, he traced the lines of your right scapula, moving down to the left, feeling your smooth skin and shoulder blades beneath his fingertips. Your body rose and fell with every breath you took, but you did not stir at his touch. He brushed your hair down to the side so it all fell concurrently onto the sheets. 

Every time he tried to stand, his legs would defy him. 

Bloody hell, this is impossible, he thought to himself.

The temptation to kiss you was strong, but he resisted. He didn’t want to wake you, because then you would know he was leaving, and then you’d ask questions. One’s he didn’t yet want to offer up the answers to.

You didn’t know what he was about to do.

The door creaked open, making Theo jump. Mattheo stood at the threshold, also in his robes. His eyes flitted between his friend and you, before they settled on Theo again. All he did was nod, a gesture that Theo returned, before turning and leaving once again.

A sigh forcing its way out of his lungs, Theo stood up from the bed. Before walking out the door, he threw one last fleeting glance your way.

This better fucking work.

Once the door to his bedroom was shut, Theo walked through the manor in a flash, before finding Mattheo standing in the front garden. His friend gave him a look, and it was not lost on Theo the anxiety in his expression.

“Are you sure about this?”

Mattheo’s words hung in the air, swirling around above them with the wind. Theo slowly let his head fall backwards as he stared at the sky. For once in his life, his thoughts weren’t racing. He was confident in this decision. He had never been more confident about anything. 

“I’m sure.”

No more words were said. 

Grabbing Mattheo’s forearm, the two men apparated. When they reappeared, it was in an empty warehouse in Sussex. Windows lined the walls just a meter or so below the ceiling. The walls themselves were painted an off white colour that left them looking dirty, with hand prints and muck dusting the paint. It felt too big, in Theo’s opinion. If this were to become a regular thing, they’d need something smaller. With seats, preferably.

The two got to work, placing wards and disillusionment charms everywhere they could. Before they knew it, a whole hour had passed, and they were just finishing up. 

“You know I hate this right?” Mattheo asked as they regrouped in the center of the giant room. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Not what we’re doing necessarily but this meeting?���

Theo had to fight the urge to laugh.

“You think I like this any more than you do?”

Mattheo shook his head as he looked around the warehouse, taking in the metal beams that lined the ceiling. 

Theo took the moment of quiet to get his thoughts in order. Ever since he sent that damn letter, he had dreaded this moment. And now it was here, and though he had spent countless hours stewing and preparing, right now, he felt completely naked and defenseless. 

A sensation filled the air. Theo looked over at the same time that Mattheo did. The door creaked open, the sound echoing off the walls and around the air, before Hermione Granger, followed by Ron Weasley, the Weasley twins, Dean Thomas, Ginny Weasley, another Weasley they couldn’t place, and the blonde Triwizard Tournament champion from fourth year who Theo, for the life of him, could not remember the name of.

“All Gryffindors, mostly Weasels,” Mattheo mumbled under his breath. “Too much bloody red around here.” 

Theo fought the impulse to laugh.

The crowd of Order members approached them, all looking apprehensive. Granger stepped forward, her eyes jumping between the two of them.

“Nott.” When her eyes bounced back to Mattheo, the disdain became more apparent. When she spoke again, she spat the word out. “Riddle.”

Mattheo gritted his teeth as Theo took a step forward, saving them the risk of what would happen if Mattheo were the next to speak.

“Granger.”

He debated on greeting the others, but decided against it. There simply wasn’t time for pleasantries. Besides, Theo didn’t particularly want to be polite to them. And he knew that Mattheo wanted nothing more than to raze the whole warehouse just because he saw that familiar flash of ginger hair one time, let alone several. So it was probably best to get right to the point.

“What’s this about?” The unfamiliar Weasley called out. 

It was hard for Theo not to grow annoyed. The amount of people in the building had him feeling overwhelmed, though he couldn’t exactly blame him. How else should they have responded? It could’ve been a trap, for all they knew. 

The moment Theo reached into his back pocket, a swarm of wands were pointing in his direction. In his periphery, he could see Mattheo’s fists clench. though he was grateful that his friend didn’t immediately start spitting off hexes and Unforgivables. Theo froze more out of politeness than fear, then slowed his movements down. With the same speed as a snail, he pulled out a couple of scrolls, tossing it on the floor halfway between where he stood and where she stood. The wands all moved to point at the scroll in the same way they would point at a bomb. 

“Those are plans for upcoming raids on your safe houses,” Theo explained. “Now you can be better prepared.”

The reaction was comical. At least, to Theo, it was.

Granger stared at the scrolls, her mouth agape. Ron and Ginny kept their wands pointed at it in a way that suggested they were convinced it was anything but a scroll. The twins backed away from it entirely. Dean Thomas stared not at the scroll, but at Mattheo specifically, confusion painting his expression. The unfamiliar Weasley with the scars on his face jumped away when Theo threw the scroll, and had not moved since. And the blonde looked like she wanted to approach it, but was too afraid to let her feet move. 

Granger was the first to speak.

“Why should we trust you?”

A draft filled the room.

“Trust us or don’t,” Mattheo quipped. “You’re losing. You’ve been losing. Pathetically. We’re guaranteeing you a win right now. Whether you decide to take that chance is up to you.”

The silence was deafening as the members of the Order all exchanged looks, looking absolutely flabbergasted by this turn of events. It was clear they were trying to have a conversation through their facial expressions. Every muscle in Theo’s body tensed as he waited for their reaction. 

This has to work, He thought to himself. 

This will work.

“What do you get out of this?”

Granger’s words hung in the hair, and though the question was for the both of them, her eyes were pointedly trained on Mattheo. When the two Death Eaters remained silent, she continued. 

“You’re betraying your families. Your fathers. What could you possibly have to gain, besides maybe a pardon from execution if we win?” She sneers. “And even that isn’t guaranteed.”

Visions of you lying in his bed, only covered by the duvet cover, overtook Theo’s head. He found himself wondering if you’d woken up yet. If you’d eaten. If you’d slept well. If you’d realised he’d left. The lump in his throat felt like a bolder when he swallowed it down. His fingertips burned with the feeling of your bare skin underneath them. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Theo sees Mattheo glance over at him. 

This is, after all, Theo’s doing. So it’s his question to answer. 

“Family isn’t everything,” Theo said in a low tone. “And some people are worth yielding for.”

~

Rise.

Fall.

Rise.

Fall.

It takes Theo a full half hour before he finally finds you in the manor. Here you are, curled up on the couch in the library with one of his robes covering you like a blanket. Your back faces him as your face is nuzzled against the fabric of the back of the couch. 

Deja vu hits him hard.

Instead of waking you, Theo sits on the ottoman beside you and counts the amount of breaths you take. At the moment, he’s up to about sixty since he started. It’s easier on his heart to sit in the silence, only filled with your quiet snores.

It’s easier for his heart to handle than what it knows he has to do. 

But he knows that he’s only prolonging the inevitable.

Letting out a deep sigh, Theo reaches over and places his hand on your shoulder, gently shaking you awake. 

“Hey,” He says in a low voice in an attempt to not startle you. “It’s me. Wake up.”

Your head springs upward, looking around at the back of the couch before you roll over to face Theo. The way your eyes light up at the sight of him makes his heart ache in a way he’ll never be able to describe. It’s like he misses you before you’ve even left. 

A soft yawn takes over your face for just a brief moment, and is quickly replaced with a tired smile.

“How’d it go?”

Theo bites down on the inside of his cheek so hard that he can taste blood.

I can’t do this.

I can’t do this.

You have to do this.

“Not great.”

The smile fades from your face. As quickly as your still waking up body allows, you sit up, rolling over to face him entirely. Theo sits up straight as you pause, watching as the wheels turn in your head to process what he had said.

“What happened?” Your voice is so small, and something about it gives Theo the impression that you already know where this conversation is about to go. He sighs heavily. The pain in his upper back makes it feel like he has the entire world on his shoulders.

“They wouldn’t return Malfoy to us,” He explains. In an effort to hide the shake in his voice, he speaks slowly. “They… they had specific conditions for his release.” 

The hush blanketing the room is only pacified by the pounding in Theo’s ears. 

If there is one thing about you that Theo knows deeply, it’s that you can’t keep your emotions off your face. So it’s to his great dismay that he watches your expression shift from confusion, to thoughtful, to realisation.

“They want me, don’t they?”

The words feel like a bullet each, piercing through Theo’s chest and implanting straight into his heart. 

I can’t bloody do this.

“Yes.”

Suddenly, the quiet that overtakes the room is less welcome as that one single word hangs over the two of you like a storm cloud threatening a downpour. The way Theo’s mind runs a million kilometers a second makes it so deafening. He can see the conflict on your face as you consider what needs to be done. The downward cast of your sleep stained eyes and the way you curl your lip in thought makes him want to burn the entire Order to the ground so he doesn’t have to even consider losing you.

He sucks in through his nose as the hand on his knee clenches tightly into a fist.

When your eyes drift back up to meet his, matching resolve in your expression, Theo has to swallow down the urge to cry. 

“When?”

His nails dig into his palm.

“Mattheo’s going to take you once you’re ready.”

A frown crosses over your face. 

“You're not going?” 

Theo can’t recall another time in his life where he’s felt as broken as he does now, looking into your sad stricken and confused eyes.

He’s losing you again.

He’s losing you again. 

“I can’t.” He swallows the lump in his throat that makes his words come out choked. “I… I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

He lets the rest of his thoughts remain left unsaid. That he would kill them before they could even leave the area with you. That he’d kill every last one of them for taking the only good thing he’d had during this god forsaken war. The entire reason he had broken his loyalties to the Dark Lord in an attempt to put it to an end. 

And now, he has to watch you leave him.

Again.

Anguish and surprise conflict your face, making him take your hand in his and hold it tightly.

“I’ll figure it out, okay?” The desperation in his voice is so palpable that you can feel it bleeding onto the skin of your fingertips. Theo’s eyes never leave yours. “I’ll finish this. For you. For us.”

You fill the spaces between his fingers with your own.

You haven’t even left yet, but Theo begins to dread the ghost of your touch that will be left behind once you are. It’s a feeling he knows too intimately.

“What if we lose?” You ask him in a soft whisper. “Or what if one of us doesn’t make it?”

The air leaves Theo’s lungs, evaporating from the heat of your words.

He wants to dig a bunker and hide you in it, keeping you far away from the sins of the war and the pain of ever leaving his side. He wants to blow up the world and watch from space with you on his arm. He wants to do anything, literally anything that would take away the hurt in your eyes. 

Images of the many ways he wishes to kill the Dark Lord and end this devastation flash through his mind.

“I need you to hear me when I say this,” Theo says in a slow tone. “I will do whatever it takes to ensure my return to you. Even if that means I have to blow through the gates of hell myself and crawl out of my grave. Make no bloody mistake. I will come back for you.”

[suugarbabe]

[Chapter 8]

Word count: 4.8k

Warnings: mentions of drinking/drunkeness, mentions of blood, kidnapping, torture, use of torture curses

An: so sorry this took so long, I was sick and mentally exhausted from other things and also debating where to end the chapter and where to start the next one; hope its alright :)

Enzo clutched his arm, rubbing the spot you had just harshly hit with your fist, “Okay, ow! You didn’t have to hit me that hard, Angel. T’was just a joke, yeh?” You rolled your eyes, picking up the box in front of you and setting it on the pallet. “You know she wouldn’t have hit you if you weren’t being such a twat,” Pansy spoke without looking up from her clipboard, marking off which weapons from the artillery stock you and Enzo were packing for the next ‘business meeting’ and what was left.

You shot a sickly sweet smile Enzo’s way, “Yeah, Enz, don’t be such a twat.” Enzo scoffed, “I was not being a twat! I simply asked if I could have your room since you and Riddle obviously sleep together. There’s no point in you each having your own room and I know for a fact he gave you a bigger room than mine.” You reared your fist back as if you were going to hit him again, causing Enzo to flinch slightly. You smirked at this, “You’re the most dangerous of the family but you’re afraid of lil ol’ me?”

Enzo shook his head, “Nuh-uh, I know there’s something else deeply hidden within you that we haven’t seen yet. I’m not pushing my chances. And you’re avoiding the question.” You huffed, placing two large rifles in a long wooden box before turning to face him, hands on your hips, “For your information, if Mattheo and I do sleep in the same room, it’s my room. I’ve never in been in his room. So maybe you should go ask him if you can have his room.” Enzo’s face dropped slightly, “Mmm no, I think I’m good. But answer me this,” the smirk that formed on his face gave way that you were going to hate what he was about to say, “Does Riddle make you call him boss during sex?”

A low groan left Enzo’s throat as he clutched his arm once more, “Shit, Pansy! In the same spot, really?” You high fived Pansy, “Serves you right.” You stuck your tongue out at Enzo, who mirrored your action. Pansy opened her mouth to tell you both to stop acting like such siblings when Draco’s voice rang between your ears, Family meeting, dining room, five minutes. You glanced between the two in front of you, “We all heard that right?” Enzo nodded, “You mean the annoying voice of a ferret ringing in my head?” Pansy slapped Enzo in the arm, in the same place of the two previous punches, “Merlin’s beard, can I not have any fun anymore?”

The three of you apparated back into the foyer of the house, making your way into the dining room to see everyone but Mattheo already sat at the table. You took your place to the left of Mattheo’s chair, still glaring and making faces at Enzo sitting across from you. Theo leaned closer to Pansy on his left, “What’s with those two?” Pansy shook her head, “Please don’t ask.” Theo opened his mouth to respond again only to be cut off by Mattheo walking in to the room, his presence alone enough to silence the table.

All eyes focused on Mattheo sat at the head of the table. “Tonight is an important deal for us. The De Luca family has been making deals with us since the beginning, they’re some of our most trusted muggle allies. Theo and Enzo, you two will load the pallets on the truck while Blaise, Draco and I go and meet them at the discussed location.” The boys all nodded at their assignments, not questioning what they were told. “What about us?” You motioned between yourself and Pansy, essentially halting some of the boys midway as they had begun to stand up. Almost as if he anticipated your questioning, Mattheo had a simple answer for you. “You’re not going.”

You huffed, rolling your eyes, “And why the bloody hell not?” Mattheo’s jaw clenched momentarily as others around the table widened their eyes. No one spoke to Mattheo that way, not when it came to business deals. Taking a deep breath to center himself before turning to you, his eyes a dark onyx as he spoke, “You’re not ready.” You narrowed your eyes at him, clearly not satisfied with his answer. Mattheo mirrored you, not stepping down from his decision, “I understand this may be frustrating, but I’m not willing to risk a repeat of the last time. You’re just not ready yet.”

It was your jaw that clenched now, “A repeat of the last time?” Mattheo had his tongue in cheek, clearly trying to keep his composure and his tone authoritative, “Yes, the last time. Lest not forget you nearly getting sexually assaulted and the boys and I having to kill five fucking people, or has that occurrence slipped your pretty little mind, Princess?” You tensed slightly, your eyes squeezing shut at the memory. Forcing yourself to meet his gaze you tried to match his demeanor, “No, Mattheo, it has not.” He gave you a saccharine smile that you took as anything but sweet. Leaning back in your chair you crossed your arms, pouting in defeat.

Mattheo felt a strange pang in his chest, like a tight ache that was telling him to change his mind, but he had to stand his ground, “You and Pansy have the night off. Enjoy it. It won’t happen much in the future.” He avoided your gaze, looking everywhere but your eyes because he knew once he did he would give in. Instead he kept his stare the the black mahogany beneath his tapping fingertips, “I’m doing you a favor. You have the night off.” You leaned forward on your elbows, making sure to keep your tone sweet and even, “Thank you, boss, I truly appreciate it.” The use of his title stung, but he did not have the time to dwell on his feelings.

Giving the boys all a curt nod, the group stood. Each man disappearing with a chorus of crack-like pops. When the last one was out of site you turned to Pansy, letting out a frustrated, “Can you fucking believe that?” At the same time she blew out a laughing, “You are so fucking lucky, Birdie.” You blinked at her in confusion, “Lucky? How am I lucky? I essentially just got sat from a business deal because other men can’t handle I have fucking tits.” Pansy just smirked, shaking her head, “The sooner you acknowledge your feelings for each other the better all of our lives will be. I mean him too by the way. That little lovers quarrel you guys had at the table had us all at the edge of our seats. You should’ve heard the things Theo was saying.”

You groaned, “Spare me.” Pansy couldn’t help but laugh, giving your shoulder a light squeeze. “C’mon. Let’s go shopping or something, get your mind off it. We have the night off, remember?” You smiled then. A slow, almost sinister smile that had Pansy shaking her head. You stood up, walking out from the dinning room. Pansy was quick on your heels as you hustled up the stairs, “No. Birdie, whatever it is you’re thinking the answer is no.” You, on the other hand, couldn’t stop the wheels in your mind from turning, “He told us we had the night off, Pans. Then let’s do what any hot, single women would do…let’s go out.” You walked into your room, making a b-line for your closet, “Help me pick out an outfit.”

You turned to see her still standing in the doorway, nervously shifting from one foot to the other. “Oh come on,” you walked back towards her, grasping her wrist and dragging her inside fully. “Help me pick one out and I’ll pick one out for you. You know they never come back from these business deals until the next day, hell, sometimes the next evening depending on how it goes. We’ll go out for a few hours, have some fun, and then we’ll be back here asleep in bed before they even knew we were gone.” Pansy chewed on the inside of her cheek, “Just one club?” You took your index finger, lifting it up to the center of your chest and making a small ‘x’ motion, “Cross my heart.”

Pansy’s shoulders relaxed then, her smiled growing two fold, “Okay…then I say wear,” she flicked through your options, giving a sad pout after a moment, “Wear something of mine, because for Salazar’s sake, Birdie, we need to take you shopping.” You groaned out a slight giggle, “I know…maybe if I play my cards right I can convince Mattheo to buy me some.” You were mostly joking, but the look Pansy gave you told you it would be worth a try in the future. After a few outfit changes, the two of you were turning in the mirror and examining your final choices. After much debate, you finally landed on a blood red corset top with a black leather skirt while pansy opted for a black body-con minidress.

You let out a low whistle as you took in your reflection, “Salazar’s fucking sake we look good.” Pansy nodded, “If we don’t get free drinks tonight, there’s something wrong with the male society.” You huffed a laugh in agreement. After a few finishing touches to your hair and makeup, the two of you apparated down the street from the dance club. As the two of you made your way down the pavement, you were acutely aware of how different you felt compared to a few months ago. “You know, Pans, I haven’t been out like this in a long time,” you hooked your elbow with hers as you guys approached the line to get in. Pansy leaned her head on your shoulder briefly, “We’re gonna have a good time tonight, Birdie. You deserve it. Just relax and let loose. Who knows when we’ll be able to do this again.” You giggled, smiling sweetly at the bouncer as he nodded and let the both of you in without hesitation.

As you entered the club the sound of bass was nearly overwhelming. You could only mildly hear the melody to whatever song was playing, let alone your own thoughts. Pansy hooked her fingers with yours as she led a path towards the bar. You could feel men’s eyes on the pair of you the whole way up. While at your own club Pansy was stoic and focused on her job, this seemed to be an environment where she thrived. Pansy gave a particular pair of tall, handsome men a wink as she squished the two of you between another pair of guys. “Oh, excuse me handsome, we were just trying to get a few drinks, maybe a shot or two,” Pansy’s tone was coated in honey as she batted her eyelashes at the broad blonde next to her.

Her seduction trick was flawless, the blonde man buying both shots and both cocktails. She thanked him and gave a pat to his cheek before dragging you to the dance floor. This became a repeated pattern for the night: bar, batted eyelashes, dance floor. You had to give it to her, the routine worked. “Go on, Birdie you try. How about…” her eyes dragged over the sea of bodies near the bar, “him.” Her manicured finger pointed at a taller man near the center of the bar. He was handsome sure, tanned skin and dark curls on the top of his head, “Why him?” Pansy gave you an incredulous look, “Because he looks like Mattheo.” You were thankful for the amount of alcohol in your system to help hide the burning blush that flooded your cheeks, “Okay, fine.”

You made your way to the bar, Pansy close behind. As you got closer you tried a different approach than Pansy’s earlier tactic. Coming up to the man you stood directly behind him. You motioned for Pansy to stand next to you, her giving you a questioning look. The bar area was crowded, and all you needed for you plan to work was exactly what was about to happen. As another group of people tried to squish through the crowd behind you, your body was bumped forward, causing you to put your hand out and catch yourself on the man in front of you. As you’d hoped, the man turned around and you made your eyes wide and innocent as you looked up at him through your lashes, “Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry. These crowds are terrible.”

The man smiled down at you, his eyes weren’t the same as Mattheo’s. The man’s were more of a walnut brown and felt cold, like this was all a game to him just as much you . His smile also was nothing near as stunning as Mattheo’s…but regardless the man was clearly falling for the charm you’d put on, eyeing you up and down as he spoke, “Oh it’s quite alright, beautiful.” You let out a bashful laugh, looking down at the ground. The man caught your chin between his thumb and forefinger, lifting your gaze back to his, “Let me buy you a drink, your friend too.” His eyes flickered over your shoulder to Pansy.

“O-okay,” the boldness of his touch causing you to stutter over your words. Your chest ached once he turned to order the drinks. The interaction didn’t leave you as satisfied as it did Pansy, if anything it left you yearning for something else. You turned to Pansy after the man handed you the drinks, “I didn’t like that.” She hummed in acknowledgement, “Yeah I was more so testing a theory.” You raised both eyebrows at her, “Mind telling the whole class, Miss Parkinson?” Pansy shook her head, smiling as she downed half her drink, “Not, yet, Professor.”

The more you drank the more your chest ached. And the more you felt yourself longing for him. You were far beyond inebriated, not thinking clearly, but what Pansy couldn’t hear couldn’t hurt her. Mattheoooooo, you closed your eyes and called out to him, not even knowing where he was with the deal, if he was possibly fighting someone. You just wanted to hear his voice. Princess…what’s wrong? You smiled to yourself. You were sure to Pansy it seemed like you were just enjoying the music as your body still ebbed and flowed with the beat.

Mattheo’s frown turned down further, something that wasn’t unusual during business meet ups, but this one was going fairly well. “What’s up, boss?” Enzo leaned in to whisper to him. Mattheo held up a finger, trying to focus on your voice in his head, Teeeooooooo, miss youu. Mattheo’s jaw clenched, Birdie, where are you? You hated using your legimens, the fact that you were communicating with Mattheo that way, along with how you were talking was causing him high concern. I’m dancing wiff Pansy, she’s such a good dancer, Teo. I wish I was dancing with yoooou. Mattheo eyed Draco, silently telling him to take the lead before Mattheo walked off back towards the truck. Birdie, are you drunk? There’s no fucking dance floor at the house? Where the fuck are you?

He rubbed both hands over his face, trying to control his breathing. Not drunk…maybe drunk…don’t member the club name, like a pretty flower. Mattheo walked back towards the others, “Are you happy with the product or not?” He was being stern with the man but Mattheo needed this deal over with. The De Luca family member nodded his head, “Yeah, we’re happy. Well wire you the money first thing in the mornin’. Always good doin’ business with you, Riddle.” Mattheo nodded, shaking the man’s hand before grabbing Enzo’s collar and dragging him away with it. “Ow, woah, hey what the fuck?” Enzo was confused by the motion. “Birdie and Pansy went to a fucking club and now Birdies drunk, we have to go get them.”

Theo jogged to catch up, “Which club did our little trouble makers go to?” Mattheo scowled slightly, “This isn’t a fucking joke, Nott. And she said something about a pretty flower? She’s fucking drunk, she’s fucking talking to me through legimens and even then I can tell she’s slurring her words. You were a man whore in your prime, Nott, which club is that.” Theo huffed out a snort but didn’t deny Matthoe’s allegations, “Sounds like probably The Dahlia.” Mattheo nodded, “Draco, Blaise, you two take the truck back. Enzo, Theo, you’re coming with me.” The boys all nodded at their assignments as Mattheo reached out to you again, Stay put, Princess, I’m coming to get you. He rounded the corner with the other two boys to make sure they were out of sight before apparating to the alley down the block from the club.

Your voice rang in his head once more, Are you going to dance with me Teo? I miss you so m- Mattheo stopped in his tracks the moment your voice cut out causing the two behind him to almost smack into his back. “What is it, what happened?” Enzo was taking in their surroundings checking for threats he may have missed. “Her voice, it just…cut out. She was talking to me and then it was like something cut it off before she could finish.” Enzo wore a worried look, glancing over at Theo whose lips were downturned. Mattheo started walking again, only faster this time. As they approached the entrance to the club, the bouncer must have recognized Theo because he pulled back the rope and allowed the three men in without question.

As they approached the edge of the dance floor Mattheo gave one instruction, “Find them.” The three spread out, weaving through swaying, sweaty bodies as they tried to catch a glimpse of anyone that looked remotely like either you or Pansy. Running into Theo, Enzo asked if he had any luck. Theo shook his head, “Not yet. Every bloody black haired woman looks like Pansy out here and I can’t catch a glimpse of Birdie anywhere.” Mattheo approached the two, eyes asking the same question Enzo had moments before. Theo shook his head, Enzo’s height giving him an advantage in the middle of the crowd. “There,” he pointed over the heads of those around him. Theo and Mattheo turn, following his indication until they’re face to face with a very far gone Pansy.

She pouted as they approached, assuming they were there to break up the fun. She opened her mouth to complain when Matthoe effectively cut her off, “Where’s Birdie.” Pansy rolled her eyes, turning around the point at the person behind her. Only you weren’t there. Pansy turned in a circle, once, twice, three times before stopping and facing the men in front of her. “I swear, Mattheo, she was just here. She’s been by my side all night. We were dancing on each other not even five minutes ago.” Mattheo’s face grew hot, a sense of worry rushing over him that he’s never felt before for any kind of person, “What do you mean she was just here. Where the bloody fucking hell would she go?”

———-

You groaned lightly, your head pounding as you tried to sit up. The floor beneath you hard and cold, your outfit doing little for warmth. As you pushed yourself to a seated position you felt a weight in one of your wrists. Looking down you saw your wrist wrapped in a thick metal cuff, a chain attaching it, and effectively you, to the wall behind it. “What the fuck…” a low whisper left your lips as your eyes started to adjust to your surroundings. The floor below you was concrete, leaving a persistent chill running throughout your body. Around you seemed to be the layout of an old factory, abandon machinery and materials littered about the space. It was darker in the building, the emergency lights appearing to be the only functioning electricity around you.

Hugging your knees to yourself, you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to call out to Mattheo. You repeated his name, over and over and over. You groaned out in frustration, slapping the floor next to you, causing the chains to rattle. “Whatever it is you are trying to do will not work.” You stiffened, the sound of his voice was something you thought you had forgotten, but hearing it ring through your ears once more brought a flood of painful memories with it. You looked around, trying to anticipate the direction the voice was coming from, the the old walls of the factory had the sound reverberated from every direction. “You know I didn’t think you’d be knocked out this long. But then again, your drunken state must have heightened the effects of the Stupefy charm.”

You watched his figure emerge from the shadows, the fear you once felt quickly returning like a white hot burn all over your body. You scooted yourself back until you were nearly flat against the wall, your knees hugged to your chest as his name fell from your lips like a ghosted whisper, “Damiano…” He smiled, flashing all of his teeth like a snarling predator as he towered over you, “Hello, Sunshine. Did you miss me?” You stayed silently, trying to press yourself impossibly further away, leading him to let out a low and menacing chuckle. He squatted down to your level, forearms resting on his knees as he balanced himself on the balls of his feet. He reached out slowly, like he was going to touch your face. You turned quickly, swatting his hand away.

He smiled once more before grabbing your face harshly, forcing your gaze to meet his, “Don’t be like that, Sunshine. I’m being very nice only chaining one arm down, but if you misbehave I have no qualms doing the other.” You huffed out your nose, still refusing to speak to him. You closed your eyes once more, desperately trying to reach Mattheo, or anyone from the family for help. Damniano applied more pressure to his grip, surely leaving the beginning of what would be a bruise on your face when he was done. “I already told you…your little tricks your new boyfriend taught you aren’t going to work. I figured he was a legimens like his failure of a father. I put a spell on the building; he can’t hear you and you can’t hear him.” Your lip quivered slightly, a new sense of fear enveloping you.

Damiano tsked at you, “I knew it. I always knew you were a stupid, weak, little witch.” He let go of your face before swinging his palm and slapping your cheek with enough force to split your bottom lip. You gasped, coughing slightly to catch your breath again, spitting blood onto the cold stone before you. You glared at him, “You think I’m weak because I’m not like you? Abusing and torturing those that don’t agree or don’t do my bidding? Why am I even here, Damiano. What do you want with me?” He looked down at you once more, a devious smirk adorning his features, “This is why you’re stupid, Sunshine. Can you not see it? Godric, okay. Let me spell it out for you. I don’t want you. You’re nothing to me. Even when you were mine you were nothing, just a tool. And that’s what you are today. Well…more like…a tool.”

Your face fell, which only caused a laugh to emit from his throat, “Oh dear girl, don’t worry. We’re not going to kill you. But we’re going to make sure Mattheo and the rest of his little group get the message. He stole something valuable from me. You, Sunshine, were nothing, but your abilities were everything. I can’t just steal you back or he’ll sick his fucking dog Berkshire. Can’t have that can we? But what I can do, is send him a fucking message.” He drew his wand as he stood a few feet away from you. You held your breath, trying to prepare for whatever he was about to unleash, but nothing could help with what he casted. With a red light leaving the tip of his wand your body was instantly aflame with pain, your muscles and limbs contorting and squeezing with agony. Your breath felt like it was knocked from your lungs, your mouth agape and gasping for air.

Two more figures appeared beside Damiano, their wands also drawn and prepped for whatever torture they were directed with. After a few moments he broke the spell, grinning as you gasped for air and tried to hold your body up from the floor. “You know, I was really hoping you would scream. I sometimes find myself missing the sound of you squealing in pain when I used to punish you. No one has quite the same ring to it you had. Guess I’ll just have to up the intensity of it all. Boys,” he turned to his cronies on either side of him, “together this time.” In perfect unison the mumbled the spell together Crucio. Immediately your back arched off the floor, your arms and legs contorting awkwardly as the searing pain once again entered your body. A blood curdling scream left your throat, the sound nearly as defeating as the pain you were feeling. Your eyes rolled at the immense pain, your mind going blank.

As you felt like you were on the brink of passing out, Damiano instructed them all to stop. He turned to them once more, giving specific instructions, “I want you to rough her up a bit more, but don’t touch her face. I want her to be recognizable when they find her. The two men nodded before approaching you together. You managed to sit yourself up again, holding yourself up on wobbly arms. This position didn’t last as one of Damiano’s men quickly landed the heel of his boot to your shoulder, your collarbone cracking with the action. You flew back slightly at the action and collapsed on your back. You groaned in pain, clutching the area and turning to your side. The men began kicking you; in the stomach, in the ribs, in the back. You were a rag doll for their game of human football, barely audible grunts and moans slipping past your lips. “That’s enough,” Damniano’s voice rang out. You coughed, spitting out more blood that seemed to fill your mouth.

The two men left your side immediately, walking back to their previous positions to watch as Damiano approached you. He crouched over you again, taking your face in his hands. With his thumb he spread your blood over your lips, “I always did like red on you.” You tried to pull away, but your strength was null, “Like I said, Sunshine, you…are weak. But you were mine first. And I can’t let you, or anyone else, forget that.” He shoved you from his grip, you falling back down to the ground. You were limp on the cold concrete as Damiano lifted your skirt over your hips. You felt him grip the meat of your thigh closer to your hip before the tip of his wand began to dig into your skin with a white hot burn. A whimper left your throat as he carved into your skin; you could smell it burning. Once done he grabbed the back of your head, tilting your neck awkwardly so you could see his handiwork on your body. On the outside of your thigh, closer to your hip was a small symbol that would make it impossible for you to ever see it without thinking of Damiano. A sun.

A single tear fell down your cheek, Damiano leaning in and licking it off your face with a satisfied hum. “You know I love it when you cry, Sunshine. But I can’t stick around to watch. As soon as I’m gone, the blocking spells will be lifted. Then you can call your little dark lord boyfriend. You’re at 1538 Woodbury Lane in London. Really wish I could see his face when he finds you.” He pulled your skirt back down over your legs once more, patting your leg where he just carved your skin before walking away and apparating out of sight with a low popping noise. You waited a few moments, just to make sure he wasn’t coming back, before tightly shutting your eyes, your entire focus on Mattheo and anyone else in the family that might be able to hear you.

1538 Woodbury Lane, London. 1538 Woodbury Lane, London. 1538 Woodbury Lane, London. You repeated the address over and over again until finally you heard him, We’re on our way, Princess, don’t move. You opened your eyes, at the sound of his voice, tears now flowing freely down your face. The irony of that statement ‘don’t move’ was not lost on you, causing a forced laugh from your lungs. With Mattheo’s confirmation that he was coming, you finally allowed your body to relax into the concrete below you. As if that was all the permission your body needed, your eyes felt heavy and soon, everything became dark.

[twjournals]

you tell them you're pregnant / part 2

Isaac Lahey

He doesn't believe his ears. He makes you repeat it because he's not sure he heard you correctly.

"Isaac, I'm pregnant." You repeat.

You had known for a few days now. You were in a world of emotions already between your own emotions and wondering what Isaac would think when he found out.

There was no beating around the bush when you told him.

You weren't that far along to notice. If you hadn't missed your period, you probably would not have suspected anything yourself.

He blinked, turning his head as if he was taking in everything you were saying.

You stood in front of him, your hair still damp from the shower you had just taken.

"And here I thought you were about to tell me about something you were thinking in the shower." He chuckled nervously, feeling his hands starting to get clammy and he rubbed them around his pj bottoms. "Pregnant?"

You just nodded your head.

"Is this why you've been so quiet the past few days?" He met your eyes again.

You weren't sure what to say. You were terrified what was going through his mind.

"I can't say I'm not freaking out a little," He started before rising to his feet to lift your chin to look at him. He couldn't lie. He was freaking out between the trauma he was slowly recovering from with his father and trying to keep it from coming between the two of you. But right now he knew how much he needed you.

You look out the shaky breath you were holding in and he stroked his finger across your cheek. "But I'm here."

He presses a kiss to the side of your head, pulling you into his arms to hold you tight. "I'm here."

Theo Raeken

You knew it wasn't smart to be going behind your brother's back with Theo but you couldn't help yourself. And let's be honest Theo wasn't helping either.

"Theo, I need to tell you something." You mumbled against his lips as he started to pull his jacket down his arm.

It wasn't hard to hide it when everyone hated Theo, including you. You played the role so well.

At least that was the case.

"What is it?" His mouth left yours only to continue working kisses down your jaw and along your neck. You could barely think around him.

Your hands pushed against his chest, leaning away from him to pry his lips from your neck. He held onto your waist as he finally met your eyes.

"What's wrong?"

Liam was going to kill you.

You swallowed hard. Everything. "I'm pregnant, Theo."

You could feel how tense the air had grown around you in just a few second. Neither of you had said a word for a while, but his arms never moved from around you.

You moved to pull the two positive pregnancy tests from your back pocket to show him. His eyes followed your hand.

"I'm sorry. This isn't how I wanted things to go either, but I'm terrified. And Liam- Liam is going to-"

His name was like a trigger for the both of you. Considering Liam was your brother and about the only person who gave Theo any sort of a chance aside from you. "He's gonna have to get over it." He finally spoke.

"I don't want to ruin things for you. I know you've been trying to do better with everyone."

"I'm not worried about that." He admitted as his large hands caressed along your back comfortingly. "This matters more to me than trying to appease them." He nodded his head towards you.

Your cheeks blushed a deep crimson before hiding your face into his chest.

Peter Hale

You were curled up on the couch watching a movie with Peter after a long day of both of you helping Scott's pack.

A blanket was draped across both of you and a bowl of popcorn sitting on his lap.

You had known the exciting news for a week now and you couldn't wait any longer to share it with him.

Not that you had been trying to get pregnant, but it was a topic discussed a few times and you both weren't against being parents. You had been married two years now. It was nothing you were in a hurry to do, but now that it was happening. It felt like it was meant to be.

You reached a hand into the bowl to grab some popcorn, smiling to yourself as you kept your eyes on the tv screen.

"So what if I told you I may or may not be pregnant?" You tossed the popcorn in your mouth.

His fingers tracing against your back stilled and he lifted his head off the couch cushion to look at you.

"Are you?"

You struggled to bite back the grin on your lips, peeking over at find his soft eyes already on you.

"I am."

You watched his lips curl into a smile, knocking over the popcorn over to pull you into his lap. "Oh my god Peter. I was eating that."

His arms wrapped around your body to cuddle you on his lap. "I've been waiting for you to say something. I knew something was off." He kissed the corner of your mouth, glazing a large hand over your stomach.

"You knew? What?"

He taps his ear with a smirk. "You're married to a werewolf, baby. This is old news."

[jqhotchner]

quest

eight

being back in in your old house has brought so many memories. you had just stepped foot back. it smelled the exact same but the decor was very different. it felt inviting. you missed being home.

aaron helped you carry the kids inside. the plan ride and the ride back home caused the kids to fall asleep quickly.

you and aaron discussed on buying a bigger house. he wanted to kids to have space to move around. currently you lived in a three bedroom apartment.

“sorry it’s a mess. when i left home i didn’t expect to be gone to long.”

you shrug your shoulders.

“it’s not messy, aaron. you’re just a clean freak.” you joked.

he chuckles. “yeah! but don’t act like you’re not either.”

the two of you stayed in silence for awhile. you and aaron had put the kids in your shared bedroom. well—you had no idea how the sleeping arrangements would go.

of course you’d love to sleep in the same bed as your ex husband—but you didn’t want to overstep. If he wasn’t ready for that yet you’ll respect his decision.

“does jack know im here?”

aaron hums. “yeah. but he doesn’t know he has siblings. with everything that happened i forgot to mention them. it was just so nice hearing his voice.”

“cant believe my babies ten now.”

aaron nods in agreement. “gotta lot of catching up to do.”

your heart broke when he said that. you knew it was a dig the way he said it. you knew aaron needed time to forgive you completely. you just hoped in the end the two of you would work things out.

when jack gets home he runs quickly into the house. he misses you so much. he just needed to see you to believe you were home.

he hears music in the kitchen. he carefully walks in and spots you cooking dinner.

“mom?”

you turned and gasped. your little boy not so little anymore. you wanted to cry.

“oh? my baby’s all grown up.”

jack runs to you and hugs you tightly. “i miss you. please don’t ever leave again.”

you kiss the top of his head. “i swear it. gonna make this family work.”

jack nods and he lets go. you gently grab each side of his face before kissing his forehead.

“there’s something your father and i wanna tell you.”

“what is it?”

just as you were about to speak you see tiny little feet coming your way. it was your oldest daughter.

“brudder, mamma?”

you nod your head.

“when i left i found out i was pregnant.”

“i have a sister?” jack asked excitedly.

“two actually! and a little brother.” aaron makes himself known.

jack was super excited to have siblings. he always wanted a little brother or sister. now he has three siblings.

“jack meet isabella, theodore, and aurora.”

“hi! im your big brother.”

“brudder?” theo grabs jacks hand.

aaron walks over to you and grabs your hand. it was the first physical contact the two of you had.

it’s been three months since you’ve been home. aaron had still been cold to you. you understand and you tried to keep patient.

but it was very frustrating. almost as if he didn’t trust you. and maybe he didn’t. but you came this way to try and work out your relationship.

just felt like you were doing it alone.

aaron was currently out on a case. you kept the house in order while he was gone. you cooked, cleaned, made sure jack did his homework, kept the triplets entertained, went shopping. everything you could think of.

when aaron arrived home you greeted him with a simple smile. he had his signature scowl on his face before spotting the kids.

“daddy!”

aaron picked up each of the children and kissed their cheeks. aaron adapted well to having four kids. it was tough but he made sure his children were happy and healthy.

you knew by just looking at them what you were going to suggest would break his heart a little. but you thought it was best. just until he was ready to work on your relationship.

“i missed you so much.” aaron tells his kids.

“miss you, daddy.” aurora states.

“dad!”

“hi, jackster. miss you too bud.” aaron hugs jack gently.

“did you catch the bad guy?” jack has been asking him this question since he found out his dad put bad people away.

“sure did bud!”

“cool. mom? what’s for dinner?”

“ordered a pizza. mama is tired today.”

jack nods understandably before heading back upstairs to his room. you watched as aaron play with your kids.

when dinner arrived you all ate at the table together. mostly you feeding the kids while aaron and jack eat as well.

once everyone was finished it was time for bed. you and aaron got made sure jack took a shower as you started to bath the triplets.

when everyone was in there respective beds you sighed before walking to your shared bedroom with aaron. although you two weren’t sleeping in the same bed.

for the last three months he had been on the couch. only coming into the room before the kids woke up.

“may we talk?”

aaron turned to look at you. he hums. you sit down on the bed.

“i think i should move out.”

“what?!”

“i said i think—”

“i heard you! why?”

“aaron, you barely even look at me. i get it, you’re upset i left, but—”

“you think that’s why im upset? because you left?”

you frowned. “well, yeah.”

“yn, im upset because i hurt you. im upset because you left without even telling me about your pregnancy. im upset because i wasn’t there for the birth of our kids.”

“so, you’re made at yourself? i don’t get it. what’s with all the snarky remarks then, aaron?”

aaron sighs. he sits next to you and grabs your hands. it felt good to have him finally touch you. you miss him deeply.

“im just—im projecting i guess. im hurt that i hurt you and instead of admitting my faults im hurting you even more. im sorry, love.”

god you missed that. him calling you his love. you’d do anything to keep this relationship sacred.

“where do we go from here?”

“ive been looking into counseling. i think we both suffered a lot the two years we were apart. especially you baby. with losing two dads and learning your mom had been held hostage all this time. i think you need to talk to someone and i need to get my shit together.”

you never considered therapy. mostly because you had someone to talk to. rather that be your parents, aaron, your siblings, emily or penny. there was always someone there. but as you think about everything, aaron had a point.

“okay.”

aaron kisses the top of your head.

“but could i make one suggestion?”

aaron nods. “can i sleep in the same bed as my husband. i just want him to hold me at night. i miss that.”

aaron smiles and nods.

“let me take a shower. then ill be right back to hold you, love.” he kisses your forehead once more before getting up and heading to your shared bathroom.

you watched him and smiled. knowing that the two of you would be okay. that’s all that mattered to you. him and your four beautiful kids.

like i said, slow burn but not too slow!

i thought this was cute!!

aaron opening up to us in the end. he’s such a man 🤤

if you wanna be added or unadded to the taglist please let me know

taglist:

@ivebeenthearchersstuff @slut4ethan @shergoretzxx @rosiehale23 @madesavage05 @whotfskai @vodkori @zaddyhotch @14buddy22

[lively-potter]

— nepenthe ; part five

— genre ; age gap, angst, fluff, smut, sheltered oc, ceo jungkook, mafia/gang vibes ( kinda/sorta )

— warnings ; please note that in the beginning, the oc is in an abusive home — and if this triggers you please do not read. the oc is of age but nothing smutty will be happening for a while — but there WILL be smut. A small bit of SA is in part two and if it tiggers you, don’t read.

— intro, part one, part two, part three, part four

— 2024 © LivelyPotter all rights reserved

— find me on Wattpad ; LivelyPotter

— taglist ; @ahgasegotarmy116 @jk97bam

— word count ; 1.2k

SOLARIS January 22nd, 2024 Charleston, SC

Theo entertained my questions as he drove me home in a cool sleek black car.

Beside him, in the passenger seat, I droned on and on about nothing in particular – but after not being able to talk to anyone but myself or Father for so long, I doubt I'd ever get tired of chatting.

"Y'know, Mister Theo–"

Theo raised a brow and flicked his eyes to mine, "I thought we talked about this whole 'Mister' thing." I was thankfully able to understand him better now that I had spent time with him.

I sheepishly giggled, "Ah, sorry! I...I'm just trying to be on my best behavior so Chairman Jeon doesn't find any faults in me and make me disappear." I chirped back, tugging at the split ends of my hair.

Theo's foot pressed gently on the break and turned his attention to me after stopping at a stop light. His lips twitched and beheld me in the highest amusement. I blinked back owlishly.

Suddenly, Theo threw back his head and laughed, silky-looking curls smushing against the headrest.

"Ah, dannare!" he chortled, clapping his palms together in mirth, I hesitantly eyed him before nervously joining in on his laughter so I wouldn't feel left out.

Theo calmed his laughter, but amusement still flickered within his hazel eyes. "He will not hurt you, tesoro. There is much more to him than others think." he divulged to me, continuing driving.

I excitedly nodded, "Seems so, Mister Theo! He looks really scary but he has really pretty eyes and pretty jewelry. He even doctored my knees for me," I turned my knees towards him so he could see the pink band-aids on my knees. "Could that mean we're friends now and he won't have me killed?'

Theo's lips twitched, eyes still on the road, "He would love to hear that, little tesoro. I promise you, Gguk has no plans of harming a hair on your head – and I'm sure he would be honored to be your friend."

A delighted squeak left my lips, "How wonderful! I like having friends! We're friends too, right Mister Theo?"

I pointed to the road I lived on and waited for Theo's answer as he started to drive down my street.

"Of course, little tesoro."

I grinned happily and felt my heart beat quickly in happiness. This night turned out much different than I had expected, but I wasn't complaining. I had made not one, but two friends. My first friends ever.

It was an amazing feeling.

"Oh! There's my house!" I chimed in, pointing to a small, run-down-looking three-bedroom house.

The teal paint had begun chipping away, and the yellow door had some stains, but it was where I had grown up. Mama liked the teal paint on the house and the yellow door – she had painted it herself, and I was sad to see it washing away as the years passed.

Theo's brows drew together when he looked at my house.

Lips thinning, he watched me unbuckle my seatbelt and prepare to exit the car, bag in hand.

"There is one thing I need to discuss with you, tesoro," he said, stopping me from leaving the car.

My head cutely cocked to the side, "Yes, Mister Theo?"

Theo cocked his head to the side and watched me carefully. My shoe gently tapped against the floorboard, slightly impatient, not in a bad way – but it was only a matter of time before Father would come home...and if he saw me getting out of Mister Theo's car...

I shivered at the beating I would get for that.

"Yeah, Mis–I mean Theo?" I corrected myself, flushing at my near miss. Again.

Theo snickered lightly and gave me a quick pat on the head. I leaned happily into the gentle touch, not used to other people treating me so nicely. I reveled in it and hoped it would happen again.

Theo smiled softly and turned his upper body around to face me. "I would like for you to come back to Ataraxia tomorrow if you could."

My brows furrowed when he watched me closely.

"Why?" my bottom lip pooched out as I thought.

Theo chuckled and gently touched my tender head. "My wife used to be a nurse...and we – the Chairman and I – would like for her to check over you to make sure you're not injured further."

My heart fluttered happily.

They cared! Since they cared...that means they really are my friends, right? Friends care about one another! Oh, how exciting this was! Life was turning around! Thank you, dear lord! I silently prayed but a thought came to mind and had me balking.

Would Mister Theo's wife ask where my bruises come from? And what would I tell them? I don't like to lie. I've never been good at it.

My teeth came down to nibble on my bottom lip.

Friends don't lie to each other. But I couldn't tell them the truth about Father. If he found out...he would be really...really mad and I could never see my new friends again.

But maybe I could hide my arms! Right? That would work! And I could see Chairman Jeon again!

I would love to see him again! Since he wasn't so scary now that I had spoken with him. And Theo said he was my friend now. And friends wouldn't kill one another.

Theo's eyes slightly widened at my worried, downtrodden frame.

"It is alright, little tesoro. Arilie will only check your head, plus I would like to learn more about my new friend," he assured me, hazel eyes staring deeply into my sapphire-colored ones, smiling when I perked up.

"...okay." I nodded, a little grin coming on my face. "It may be late when I come...if that's okay. I have chores to do." I told him, fisting my crocheted bag in my hand to resist the urge to squeal happily.

I would see the man with the pretty, sparkling eyes soon!

Oh, Mama! Isn't this wonderful!?

Theo clapped his hands happily and sent me a wide smile – bright white teeth gleaming and contrasting beautifully against his skin tone.

"Great! I will see you tomorrow, little Tesoro! Sleep well."

I opened the door and hopped out, giggling happily.

"I will, Theo! Thank you!" I held onto my bag with both hands and peeked into his eyes. "I hope you sleep well to! Drive safe." I waved goodbye with both hands before turning to scamper inside the house.

I closed the door behind me and fell against it.

"Wow," I murmured to myself, wondering how so much had happened in the span of mere hours.

I made two friends, went outside for the first time in years, met Chairman Jeon and looked into his pretty eyes, and got to ride in a cool car.

This was a dream come true!

A tear of joy dripped down my cheek, the overwhelming feeling of euphoria washing through my body as I slid down to the floor, sniffing.

I was so excited for tomorrow!

I just had to think of a way to sneak out without Father noticing my absence.

author's note ; ✨

Ahhhhh! It's almost time for interactions with Solaris and Chairman Jeon! I'm so freaking excited! As always, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! ❤️✨

Thanks so much for reading!

[abybweisse]

Ch210, Where is F. O. L. Orphanage?

⚠️ long post ⚠️

I was discussing that question with @juxl25, and I think we came up with a good choice for its location.

The only information we know for sure is that it's in Norfolk, and that it's near a river. We also know Finny and Snake took a train to a nearby town and walked to the orphanage.

We also know there's a wind pump that drains water from the surrounding marshland. There are at least four major rivers in the area used for draining the marshes: Yare, Bure, Wensum, and Ouse.

Juxl25 suggested River Yare and the historic Red Mill (the wind pump) as the area but was looking at Manor House, which is farther away, in the village (proper) of Haddiscoe, Norfolk. After some digging around, I agree with River Yare and Red Mill/Langley Detached mill (originally called Langley detached windpump...

...or Langley Detached drainage pump).

They are in an area northeast of Haddiscoe village, called Haddiscoe Island (these days), thanks to a canal added to connect River Yare and River Waveney farther inland, creating an island of the area and making the marshland there more remote/less accessible.

There's a historic farmhouse just east of River Yare, not far from Red Mill, called Raven Hall. And Raven Hall would be a premium location to have a secluded facility like F. O. L. Orphanage.

There's only one thing I don't like about the buildings shown for Raven Hall -- it's a bit farther from the drainage pump than I want it to be, and it's just a large farmhouse (almost 3000 sqft) and a long barn (almost 900 sqft). But there's a cool space just south of those buildings, which would be ideal for the main orphanage, as well as a spot for the stables/barn leading closer to the drainage pump, farther south. Here are two options for the placement of F. O. L.:

In each case, I've placed the stables to the west of the main house, as a small red rectangle (more or less), while the windpump was already marked by a red dot farther southwest. Looking at the bend of the river on Theo's image of a map of the place, the placement on the right (above) might be the better match. Then again, it could be exactly where Raven Hall is located. And Raven Hall, having been built in the 17th century (or at least 1700), is older than Red Mill (built in 1840).

Too bad I can't see the placement of the windpump on his map, but I think it's somewhere behind the speech bubbles on the left side of the panel.

We see that the windpump at the orphanage has a low roof of some kind, and juxl25 explains that someone was probably living onsite just to maintain it full time. I did find at least one pic showing Red Mill with what could be the old maintenance shed/shelter, but it seemed to be on the wrong side. Who knows? I guess it depends on which way the sails are facing to catch the wind? But the low roof in the panel is probably just the top of some shed.

Oh, and near St Olaves, there's a train station called Haddiscoe Station. They could have got off the train there and made their way north to the orphanage by foot. Or did they hitch a ride part of the way? I'll have to go back and check.

I'm still considering one other location, not far from there, but I won't post it unless further research looks more promising.

Hey... can you imagine if all this time... F. O. L. was just some place name reference... like "Farmhouse on Langley" (Marshes)?!?

Please let these kids break the windpump and flood the tunnels.... 🙏

[gggreengoblin]

3.1 K words. It is 3rd part of my Girl!Daniel fic. Part 1 | Part 2

Summary :: During an argument, Daniel said something she shouldn't have said to Max. She had to navigate the consequences of her rash action.

She was seated in the passenger seat of a rental car and couldn't stop herself from jigging her legs along the beats of the rap song. She had been away from a circuit for too long. Excitement was fueling her body. Once again, her system was flooded by adrenaline, making her feel alive.

"Please stop, Daniel. You are making me anxious." The driver said. Well, he was, technically, not a driver. Just a Red Bull crew who picked her up from the airport.

Daniel warped her hands around her jeans-cladded knees. "Ah, sorry. I am just excited. I've been stuck in England for weeks. It's nice to be able to travel again."

"I heard about that," he said. "I think it is a bad idea, really. If I could afford to live in Monaco, I would leave London in a heartbeat. And for you, to do the opposite is-" he made a hand gesture with his right hand while the other holding the steering wheel.

"Nuts, right? It only took me two weeks to realize it was a bad idea." She laughed at her own stupidity.

It was silly of her to think moving would solve her problem. It was a mistake– a big one. Turns out London was too lonely, too cold, and bleak for Daniel's taste. And nothing could help her feel better there.

The only thing she could think about was her old normal. She missed traveling, sunny days, and a friend who would visit her whenever he could. So when Red Bull told her to prepare herself to do some testing during the Fp1, she was overjoyed. She packed her bags and suitcases, shoving her racing gears, which were still inside an unopened cardboard box.

They wanted her to arrive at the media day morning. So she boarded the plane, put her Red Bull polo on once she arrived at the airport, and went straight to the circuit.

When they arrived, the paddock was bustling, full of journalists and crews. They interviewed and took pictures of the drivers like they could get enough of them. Some of them said hello to her. The PR team snapped some pictures of her while she was dragging her suitcase and bags through that overcrowded place.

"Hi, guys!" She waved at the camera. And they waved back.

She unpacked her suitcase in her driver's room. She took out her racing gears and hung them in the small closet. For a moment, she let herself admire her racing suit. Oh, how she loved its color, but she loved it more because it had her name and flag printed on its waist.

And then she went to the garage. She met with her newly found engineer friends, the ones she bugged whenever she felt the need to do something during her weeks-long exile in England. They were already working; paper, pens, and tablets were scattered around the long table. She stood among them, trying to mimic her surroundings.

Heavy technical talk bore her, so Daniel wandered and walked around the garage. She ran her hand on every surface there, just a ghost of touch, not moving things or pushing any buttons. She wanted to burn this experience into her core memory because it might be her last time being inside an F1 garage as a driver, even just as a test driver.

When the engineers had finished their discussion, she approached one of them, who was standing in front of the monitor, reading his notes. She greeted him. She knew that man, Theo. He was a friendly Englishman.

"I didn't know we would use Max's garage. So cool," she said.

He just smiled and showed her his black binders. "Look at this." He explained to her what they would do the next day. "I think it would be great to finally test it out with a real car because the sim test data is immaculate. Thanks to you, we have more than enough data from the sim."

"Yeah. I can't wait." Honestly, Daniel didn't understand half of the things Theo said, but she got the picture. It was okay, she would get a detailed explanation during the briefing anyway.

"I feel like building a rocket ship, not a car."

She understood what he meant. These cars were beasts. Fast and reliable. Some people had already called them rocket ships.

A big hand squeezed her left shoulder lightly. Max was standing beside her. "I heard you were here," he said, a little breathless. Clearly, he was running away from his media duty and sneaked to the garage.

Like everyone in this garage, he was clad from head to toe with their merch. There was something different about him that she could not put a finger on yet. But she noticed his new cologne. It was sweeter than usual, with maybe a little bit of a chocolate undertone in it.

"What's up, Maxy? Do you miss me already?" She offered him her biggest smile.

"Do you miss me?"

"I asked first." There was a hope in her heart that he would say he missed her. She had limited their texting for the last few weeks. It would be impossible for her to move on if they were still texting every single day.

"I do miss your cookies."

"Only my cookies?" she teased. "Too bad, I didn't bring any."

"I need to talk to you about something. Can we move to somewhere more private?" Max said, out of the blue.

Daniel looked at Theo who just gave them a knowing glance. "I need to go back to work." He gathered his papers and put them back inside his binder. "See you later, Daniel. Bye, Max."

"Can we go to your driver's room?" Max said after Theo left. It was an unusual request. They didn't hang out in their driver's rooms.

"Yeah." Curiosity got the best of her sometimes. "What's going on?"

Max led her into the narrow hallway, exiting the garage. "Who is he?"

"Our engineer. A friend. Why?"

"Great. So you still like your mysterious guy?"

"I guess."

"When will you have time to visit Monaco?"

She opened her door and let them in. "Sorry, it's a mess." She pushed her suitcase and bags that were lying around on the floor to the corner of the room. "I can visit you during winter break, maybe before Christmas. Why?"

"Daniil just broke up with his girlfriend. If you want, Kelly and I can arrange dinner for you."

She froze. "Dinner with Daniil?" She turned around and faced Max, who had a blank look on his face. "Wow! What? Did I- did I miss something?"

"You like him, right? I want you to be happy, Daniel. If he can do that, I will do anything to make it happen."

"Oh my god, I can't believe it! You two are so cruel!" The thought of Max and Kelly discussing her dating life made her blood boil. And for them playing matchmaker, arranging Daniel a date with Kelly’s ex not the least, was unbelievably evil.

"You said you like him!"

"I never said that!" she said, raising her voice. "You made your own conclusion. Just leave it alone, yeah. Why do you have to always bring it up? Every single conversation we have had has always ended with you bringing this topic up." She wished she never opened her mouth and blabbed her feelings to Max. If she knew Max would be obsessed with this, then she would have buried this secret even deeper.

"I just want to help, Daniel."

"But your help only makes things worse."

"Then tell me what I can do!"

"Just let it go, yeah. It would be better for us if you just left it alone."

"No. I know you are miserable. Let me do something. Tell me. Just tell me who it is, Daniel. I promise I will shut up after this."

"It's you, alright," she said.

The room became quiet. Max just stood there, looking directly at her, not blinking. She could hear her heartbeats in her ears. She felt her palms become wet and cold. She wished she could disintegrate and become a pile of dust, gone, blown away by the wind.

She cleared her dry throat, trying to find her voice. "Can we move on, now?"

"What do you mean?" He finally said something after a minute of silence.

"Max, I'm sorry. Please forget it, okay? I don't mean to say that. My feelings will pass, and everything will go back to normal. I don't want to ruin everything. Shit." She opened the door and gently pushed him out of her driver's room. But he was larger and stronger. He didn't even budge.

"I love you too."

"No, you don't." She tried again, pulling on his bare front arm, trying to drag him out of her private room. She just wanted to be alone and hide in her room, God damn. "Don't make fun of me like this."

There was no point in trying to make a grown man move when he didn't want to. So she left him there. She ran back to the garage while doing her breathing exercises to calm herself down. She knew Max was trailing behind her. She could feel his gaze behind her head.

She found Theo's notebook lying on the table, unattended. She opened that binder with her shaking and sweaty hand, pretending to read. She was trying to look busy, so no one talked to her.

"I was not making fun of you," Max said with a hushed voice. He was standing close to her, too close, so no one could hear what he said.

Daniel scanned the garage. She was grateful there was no camera pointed at them. It would be a nightmare if people knew. Sure, Netflix would put their conversation in the documentary if they caught them in a video. "Not now, Max. I need to focus on tomorrow's testing." She took a step away from him.

"Daniel, there you are!" said a crew member from across the garage. She walked closer to them. "I was checking your room to make sure you got everything you needed, and I noticed you didn't have your balaclava. They said that you bring your own gear now."

"Sweet, I might have left them in my bedroom," Daniel said bitterly.

"It's okay, we'll find one."

.....

After she was done with the day, she packed her things from her driver's room and went to the hotel. She took a quick shower and changed her clothes. She was grateful to see that the black silk blouse she brought was not totally crumpled. She put a little makeup on her face- just a hint of color on her tired face. The humid air of the city made her curls difficult to manage, so she straightened them and tied them into a ponytail. She put a bandage on her bleeding thumb and then left the hotel.

She let out a sigh of relief when he got into the taxi the hotel had ordered for her. She asked the driver to take her to the shopping district of the city.

She opened her phone, which had been vibrating every few minutes for the last hour. She received several messages and missed calls from Max. She turned her phone off and kept it in the small sling bag she carried.

Daniel visited several unique shops on the street but didn't buy anything. Occasionally, she met fans who recognized her. They greeted her and some asked for selfies with her. She didn't mind.

She ends up visiting a cafe. She stopped by because she smelled the freshly baked pastry from inside of the cafe. She ordered some pastries and a cup of fancy latte to brighten her mood.

She sat in the corner, far from the big front windows. She didn't want to be disturbed. She wanted to dwell on her thoughts in peace for a bit. She didn't want to touch on what happened a couple of hours earlier. She wanted to put the memory in an imagination box and lock it, but she couldn't. It kept appearing in her consciousness even when she kept pushing it away.

Daniel wanted to blame it on Max. Because he had pushed her into confessing her feelings to him. But, can she? Maybe it was because of the nature of emotion. You can only suppress it for a certain period of time; after that, it will bleed. Like pushing a bubble of air inside water, the bubble would always surface.

It was already said. She couldn’t take it back. The only thing she could do now was navigate the disastrous aftermath. Maybe this was the end of their friendship. Was it a friendship if she had not thought of Max as “only a friend” for years?

She ate the cake and sipped her latte slowly. She savored them until she felt like several hours had passed. She asked the waiter what time it was; it was 8 o'clock. A good time to go back to her hotel. She needed a good night's sleep for tomorrow anyway.

When Daniel returned to her hotel, she found Max pacing in the hallway of her room. He played with his phone while putting one of his hands on his hip. When he saw Daniel, he immediately pocketed his phone and walked towards Daniel's door.

"Where have you been? I've been waiting in front of your door for almost an hour." He cranked his head to talk to her. With her heels on, she was a couple of inches taller than him.

"Jeez, everyone has their own thing going on, Max. Besides, you didn't tell me you would be here, right?"

Max observed Daniel's appearance from head to toe, lingering on her neck, where she put her dainty silver neck chain on. "Dinner?" he said.

"No, thanks. I'm good."

"I mean, did you just come back from dinner?"

"No, I was just walking around. Window shopping. What do you want?"

"Can we talk about earlier?"

"Do we really need to talk about it? Listen, I'm sorry. It was so selfish of me. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Can we talk inside your room? I— I need to explain everything to you."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Max."

"So you want to talk here? Okay," he said nonchalantly with a shrug.

Daniel looked around. There were only them in the hallway, but who could guarantee that no one would eavesdrop on their conversation? She took the key card from her bag, opened the door, and let them in.

"Please, be quick. What do you want to explain?" Daniel put her bag on the nightstand and took off the high heels while sitting on the edge of her bed. She massaged the soles of her feet. They were sore from her long walk.

Max stood there, four feet in front of her. She can still smell the circuit's aroma that clings to his skin and clothes. He took off his cap and ran his right-hand fingers through his hair. "I want you to know that I have been loving you for years."

Dumbfounded, she stared at him. She said nothing because her brain was overwhelmed by his confession.

"You don't believe me, do you?" Max said.

She shook her head. She felt her heart stop beating. She gripped the bedsheets. Trying to remember her grounding exercise. Who would believe him, though? When a guy who was in a long-term relationship with another woman told you that, it sounded like a lie, right?

"I broke up with her right after our conversation in the garage. Daniel, I was with her because I thought you only saw me as a friend."

She still couldn't process what she had just heard.

"Say something, Daniel."

"Ah, yeah– I–" she tried to form a sentence. She cleared her constricting throat and took a deep breath. "Max, that's so wrong."

"I want to be with you."

It took her back to a couple of years earlier. Daniel remembered what had happened to her at that time. Rumors had circulated that she was the reason one of her friends broke up with his girlfriend. It made her head spin, and she tasted a bitter sensation in her tongue.

"We can't! You just broke up like hours ago! I want to retire. I want to enjoy my last months of racing in peace, Max. The last thing I need is to be followed by drama everywhere I go. If people find out—if she tells the media why the two of you broke up—they will hunt me down." She still remembered how every interview she did always discussed that gossip. How they monitored and analyzed Daniel's interactions with her male friends. She wished she would never have to go through that again. 

Max took her clammy hands, enveloping them in his bigger ones. His hands were freezing too. Maybe she was not the only one who felt lost, they were in the same sinking boat after all. "We are not celebrities," he said, "nothing will happen."

"Oh, you don't remember. They will find out and paint me as the bad guy. It did happen years ago, even when I had nothing to do with that breakup. I don't want to be put in that situation again."

''I didn't tell her anything about you. I will be okay, Daniel."

"She will know, Max. You broke up after we saw each other for the first time in weeks." Kelly was a smart woman. She surely would put two and two together. And if she were a cunning person, she would make this public to gain more attention, clicks, and followers. She could turn her misery into money.

"If something happens, I will take care of it. I promise. I will tell the PR in the morning." He held her hands tighter. “Give us a chance."

"We can't be together now, at least not yet. We will screw things up if we rush into this. We are not thinking clearly." She pulled her hands from his hold and stood up. There was a need to put some distance between them. This closeness felt too much, suffocating.

"We just found out about each other's feelings this morning. And I think you are downplaying your feelings for her, too. You're not a heartless monster, Max. If you feel nothing, you won't spend years in a relationship with her. Let's wait."

“How long do we have to wait?” He looked at her with his doe, pleading eyes.

“I don’t know.”

[realityescapee01]

Wounds and Scratches

Steo | Stiles x Theo

Theo came back to the pack house, bloodied and wounded. He just came back from an undercover op for the pack. He was able to capture a rogue omega.

He was stabbed to his stomach, slashed on his arm and cut on his palm. He took the omega back to Scott for interrogation. Afterwards, Scott gave him an order to patrol the tunnels.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Scott! He's hurt, send someone else!" Stiles had enough.

Theo is hurt and Stiles goes off on it.

Theo snarled, he struggled to get on his feet. He just got slammed to a wall by their enemy. He was in pain but he was still able to distract the enemy enough for Stiles to lay the mountain ash prison around it.

"Good job, guys."

Scott and them went back to the pack house. Stiles watched Theo bend over a bit, holding his tummy and has a pained expression on his bloody face. Dried up blood from his forehead. Busted lips and a sprained ankle.

Stiles thought back at the bad things Theo did to him and the pack. That is why Stiles thought Theo deserves all the beatings he's taking.

Scott decided to take in Theo despite everything he did. Scott being the kind and giving person he is. Stiles was against it. He doesn't want Theo in. But Scott insisted they could use Theo's skills.

What skills? The manipulative skills? The cunning, the smarts, deceptive skills? Well, yeah, those are useful. Stiles begrudgingly admitted.

So here is Theo in their pack. Being used as a scout, a spy, and first liner. Scott always sends him in first, first to whatever danger they're facing.

It's strange to Stiles because Theo wouldn't put up with those, but seeing as Theo was indeed putting up with all of it, maybe, Theo is doing everything to be better now, to be good, to make up to them, to make up for everything he's done.

Stiles heard all about it from Liam. Theo's redemption arc. Stiles wasn't buying it at first but later on, he started to believe too.

Or maybe the courting of Theo is affecting his judgement.

Oh, yeah, Theo is courting Stiles.

For about 2 months now. At first, Stiles is just playing Theo, but things got shitty for him and he genuinely needed Theo's help.

Like when he's jeep broke down. Theo drove him to and from his FBI internship. Every weekend, when he comes home and goes back to the FBI classes.

The long drives gave them a lot of time with each other. And Stiles found himself enjoying those times.

Stiles found himself chatting and calling Theo at nights after classes too. Sometimes while Theo was in tunnel patrol. To discuss and bounce off ideas from his homeworks of cases; murder mysteries and investigations. And Theo gave him very good insights every time.

Maybe because Theo is one little psycho himself that is why he understands how those criminals think. Stiles laughed on the idea. He is like those FBI agents having a serial killer to talk to and consult cases about.

-+-+-+-

Theo calls him, all wounds and injuries healed up. He is driving Stiles home. Stiles jogs to Theo's truck and they go and get drive thru food. Stiles ask if Theo's okay. He looked hurt really bad.

He's got bandage on his hand. Again.

"What happened there?"

"Oh, I got cut. And I keep getting cut there so it's getting harder and harder to heal." -Theo explaining, trying not to put pressure on it too much while driving.

"I'm fine, Stiles."

Stiles have an idea of what happened. Having seen how hard Scott is using Theo out there. Then he received a chat from Scott to remind Theo about his underground tunnel rounds later tonight. Stiles felt irritated. Theo just recovered and now Scott is on him again with the errands.

-Isn't Liam on tunnel patrol tonight?- Stiles replied to Scott.

-I'm taking Liam with us in the talks. Where are you guys now? Will you be here in an hour?-

-Yeah, we're close. Keep Liam on patrol, let's bring Theo in the meeting-

-Why Theo?-

-It's decided. Just wait for us.-

They are to meet with the new group in town. Invite them to join forces or discuss terms on co-existing in Beacon Hills.

Scott met up with Theo and Stiles on the way to meet the werejaguars. They learned they're all female, a small group of 5. The talks start. Stiles let Scott do his thing while he observed.

"... We don't wanna join forces, we do not wanna stay near the Nemeton, which is basically a signal light to all hunters. Just let us be for a few days, I promise we won't cause trouble."

Their leader explained. Scott huddled with Stiles and Theo.

"I don't know about you, but werejaguars are highly aggressive." -Theo muttered.

"I agree." -Stiles nodded, remembering a certain Kate Argent.

"Yeah, I think so too. I will ask them to leave by dawn. Liam and the others can stay here to watch them until then" -Scott relayed the decision to the group leader. There were some friction but Scott brandishing his alpha status made the leader back down.

"Okay... but... we will only leave if he comes with us."

"What?" -Scott didn't expect a request.

"Him."

"No way." -Stiles strongly disagreed.

The group leader was pointing at Theo. "At least give us some protection. A capable mate for me."

Theo just scoffed. "I'm not up for mating."

"That or we stay as long as we like."

"... How about this." -Stiles proposed. "The real reason you're here is because you're all sick. You plan to steal our herb reserve. Preferably tonight because you know our resident doctor wouldn't be home."

The gang leader took a defensive stance.

"Okay, I'll give you a generous amount of 9 herbs and then you leave tonight. No taking Theo with you."

"What if I don't agree?"

"Well... you have to deal with a true alpha." -Stiles turned his head to Scott, who was half shifted by now.

"It was said this place and your pack is sanctuary to all supernatural beings!"

"Not if you threaten to take anyone away." -Scott said with a growl.

The group leader knew there is no way they'd win. "Fine. Get me the herbs."

After Scott's new recruits arrived with the herbs, the werejaguars left. But their leader really likes Theo, and as she passed him by, she said:

"We'll be 2 towns over, if you change your mind." -plus a hand, slowly gliding down Theo's muscular arm.

"I have my eyes set on someone else." -Theo shrugged the leader's hand away from him.

Theo watched the group leave and looked at Stiles. Having a renewed faith on a chance.

A chance that Stiles actually likes him back. With the human getting all no-way-you're-taking-Theo upset a while ago.

After that, Scott still wanted to send Theo on tunnel patrol duty but Stiles said Theo's driving him home even before Scott got the chance to say it. And so Theo drove Stiles home.

"Hey, Theo. If you like, you can stay here. Liam could use the tunnel patrol experience." -Stiles invited him to stay there to avoid the patrol task.

And Theo did. They went up to Stiles' room and Theo acting all strange.

"Hey? What's the matter?" -Stiles just went about the room as normal.

"...This is the first time for me. Here, in your room."

"What?!? You've never been here?" -Stiles remembered all the pack members whose been in his room. And yeah, this is Theo's first time to be here. "Well, there's a first to everything. You never know, you might be coming here more often in the future."

"W-What?" -Theo didn't expect that.

"Nothing! Nothing." -Stiles blushed. He was just being playful, flirty if you will. Because it's true, if he decides to answer Theo, then definitely, Theo would be in his room more often.

Theo was smirking and shaking his head, thinking of a comeback, but that caught him so off guard that he couldn't come up with one.

"Uhm, I'm gonna head to bed. By the way, use this on your wounds." -Stiles threw him a poultice Deaton taught him to make. Something to make the wounds stay clean for a longer time.

Theo caught it and sat on the chair by the window. He took the gauze off his hand and tended to it. He lifted his shirt and applied the poultice to random cuts on his torso.

Stiles just watched him. He memorized all the spots Theo has wounds and scratches and bruises.

"Well, uhm, Theo, I'm tired, I'll go to sleep, stay as long as you like." -Stiles headed to bed.

As he laid down, he smiled to himself on how things turned. Before, he couldn't stand Theo, but now he can sleep in the same room with Theo present.

The next day, Stiles woke up and Theo was gone, left a message of thanks and that he headed to school.

Theo goes to school on weekends, in a special program to make up for the lost time when he was dragged to hell; and once made, he can go back to school to continue his last sem of senior year.

Stiles thought to give Theo a visit.

He finds him on the lacrosse field. Coach Finstock recruited him.

Theo sensed Stiles and looked at his direction. Stiles waved.

"Bilinski!" -Coach Finstock intercepted him. "What are you doing here?"

"I missed you, coach!" - Stiles attempted to give coach a kiss.

"Ugh!" -Coach Finstock stopped him with a hand to his face.

Stiles knew that way, coach would leave him alone. Theo jogged towards him.

"Hey." -Theo in lacrosse practice uniform.

"You joined?" -Stiles sat in the bleachers.

"Yeah." -Theo stood right in front of him.

"I never knew you like sports. Sports aside from hunting and killing."

Theo laughed at that. "Just to release some aggression."

Stiles just nodded. He looked at the other players. He remembered his lacrosse days back then. And that winning shot he got. It was the fun days. Way before the shit hit the fan.

Stiles stayed to watch Theo practice with the team. He decided to stay even after and play with Theo a bit.

"Fine! But make sure you tidy up the things!" -Coach Finstock let them stay.

"Want a serious match or just for fun match, Stiles?"

"Just for fun." -Stiles gripped the lacrosse stick.

"Okay." -Theo smirked and threw the ball right past Stiles' left shoulder and into the goal.

"Ha! For fun, I said! Not for the Olympics or something!"

Theo laughed. They change places. It's now Theo's time to be goalie.

"Theo, no superpowers!" -Stiles was gearing up for a shot.

"Okay."

Stiles kept licking his lips and aiming and aiming for the goal before actually taking the shot. And of course, Theo caught it. Stiles was mad accusing him of using chimera powers but Theo didn't. Stiles is just really not good at it.

"Okay, that's it. I don't wanna play anymore!" -Stiles throwing the stick down.

"I didn't use supernatural powers, Stiles. You're just really bad at it."

"Just- Forget it!" -Stiles waving his hand off.

Stiles waited for Theo in the lockers. He looked at the seat where they confronted Theo. And where he said: "I came back for you." Stiles didn't really know the gravity of those words.

Theo wanted him. From day one. And there he is right now, feeling the same. He wants Theo now.

He turned his attention to the sound from the showers.

Theo is in there. Naked.

Stiles felt a little panic and stepped out of the lockers. A few minutes after, Theo stepped out too.

"Stiles, are you okay? I smelled panic."

"I'm fine. Let's get outta here." -Stiles walked away. Fast. He wanted to answer Theo but Theo is not asking him the question yet.

"Drop me by the tunnel entrance. I'm on patrol." -Theo said, settling in the passenger seat of the jeep.

"Oh. Okay."

"Stiles? Tomorrow, will you go out with me?"

"Oh? Where are you taking me?" -Stiles smiled. Theo courting him, does this quite a lot, take him on dates.

"It's a surprise." -Theo was smiling.

"You know my anxiety, I don't like surprises."

"I know. But you'll love this."

Stiles agreed. And so their date was set.

The following week, Stiles gradually calling out Scott for using Theo too much. Scott took the use and abuse too seriously.

Stiles would lightly tell Scott to give Theo a few minutes or hours before being sent for work again. Sometimes they'd be out, hanging out, and Stiles would tell Scott to let Liam do the patrols. The kid needs that experience somehow.

Their date night arrived. Theo was driving them in his truck when Scott called. An emergency.

Theo sighed. "I guess date night is cancelled."

"Apparently so." -Stiles confirmed as he gestured for Theo to make that U-turn.

They were called towards the Nemeton and they saw Scott and Liam, shifted, chasing after their enemy of the week. The werejaguar leader came back.

"I warned you." -Scott intimidating the werejaguar. "Why are you back?"

"Nothing much... just some petty reason." -she spotted Theo and Stiles running over to them.

Liam lunged at her but missed. She charged towards Stiles and Theo.

Theo was fully prepared to intercept her but she made a sharp and quick turn towards Stiles.

They rolled over the ground. Stiles tried to wrestle her off but to no avail. She pushed Stiles over the cliff.

"Holy sh-" - Stiles couldn't do anything.

He was falling off the cliff. He could only hold his hand up, hoping to be saved.

"Stiles!" -Theo jumped after him.

Theo caught him and held onto exposed vines on the cliff.

"Tch!" -Theo exclaimed as the vine rope burned through the bandage on his hand. And brutally so onto the wound there. Making it bleed again.

They slid for a little bit more before finally getting caught on bigger vines, stopping them from falling.

Back at the top, Scott and Liam were trying the werejaguar to a tree and then hurrying to help Theo and Stiles. Lowering down a rope to get them back up.

"Stiles! Oh man!" -Scott pulled Stiles into a tight hug once the two was saved. "I was so worried!"

"I was too." -Stiles hugged him as tight, looking at Theo, nodding him a thank you.

They subdued the werejaguar leader, and as agreed -Scott will try to talk to the supernatural beings walking into Beacon Hills, with the goal of peace, and when it is not achieved, the hunters will take care of it- Scott called Chris Argent to deal with the werejaguar.

As they were walking, Scott was going on about checking the old werejaguar hideout before calling it a day.

And Scott wanted to send Theo and Liam.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Scott! He's hurt, send someone else!" Stiles went off.

"O-Okay. Me and Liam would go." -Scott conceded. He felt guilty afterwards, he never checked on Theo. And now only saw Theo's hand. "Sorry, Theo."

"Yeah. Apology accepted." -Theo soothing his wounded palm.

They parted ways. Scott and Liam towards the hideout and Stiles and Theo towards Theo's jeep.

Stiles applied poultice on Theo's palm. "Thanks. A lot."

"No problem. As if I would just let you die on me right there. You owe me a date."

"Well... our sched just freed up."

---

And so, they revisited their original schedule for tonight. The date:

"W-What the-" -Stiles was greeted by tiny lights floating in some enclosure far from the reserve. "What is this? I've never... there were no fireflies in Beacon Hills. Ever!"

"There are now." -Theo watched him enjoy the view.

There were so many. Flying, floating, near the trees too... it looked magical.

"Since when? How?" -Stiles wanted to get to the bottom of this.

"I don't know. Must be a Nemeton thing. Again."

Stiles wanted to ask questions again, but the view was so beautiful, he just accepted that explanation. The Nemeton does make and affect all sorts of stuff.

"Stiles? Can I ask the questions now?"

"Sure." -Stiles waved his hand, eyes fixed on the sea of fireflies in front of them.

"Will you... be my mate?"

"..." -Stiles blinked. A lot of times.

"Stiles?" -Theo was concerned.

Stiles looked back at him. The fireflies are near them now, surrounding them. Making Theo have the background of little lights floating.

Beautiful.

"Yes." -Stiles said.

Theo smiled, ear to ear.

"I was waiting for you to ask that." -Stiles revealed.

"I was waiting for you to be sure." -Theo walked slowly towards Stiles.

Reached for Stiles' waist and pulled him into a kiss.

-+-+-+ (complete) +-+-+-

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[buckybarnesss]

Can we start a discussion? When it comes to Teen Wolf & Shipping. Do you know of any other age difference ships that don't get as much pushback that Sterek does? Such as Marrish, Because despite the antis complaining against it it's still in the top 3 ships of all time.

haha so we've chosen violence this morning.

@dear-massacre and i have brought this up before.

teen wolf is not the show to be watching if you're looking for "unproblematic" content. age gap ships have always been like at the bottom of issues with the show lol.

sterek is the ship that has always gotten the most push back. mostly because of it's exposure and the way the show queerbaited the fuck outta it. it's the one most people are aware of even if they haven't watched the show. therefore, it's the one that gets the focus.

hold on to your butts.

now i didn't watch s5 till the show had ended but people did find the age gap concerning and gross between jordan and lydia despite lydia being 18 at the time.

lydia turned 18 in season 4. natalie and her discuss this at the lake house i believe in time of death. this makes the birthday we see for lydia in party guessed her 17th birthday.

parrish tells jared in riddled that he's 24. by the time of 5a which takes place during the first semester of lydia's senior year 2012 she would've still been 18 and he would've been 25 because 3b was the first semester of their junior year 2011 so 5a is a year later.

jordan and lydia have a 7 year difference. while their age gap is concerning because of the power dynamics jordan wasn't grooming her and it wasn't illegal. i think the writing shifted to try to imply that they were drawn to each other because of the banshee and hellhound connection.

jordan giving those andy dwyer vibes.

now let's take a look at thiam. a pretty popular and accepted ship.

theo is the same age as our core characters. he is in their grade and knew them when he was young.

our baby beta liam was a freshman when he was introduced so that makes him a sophomore when theo is introduced in 5a.

by the time theo and liam become frenemies the age difference between them is basically the original age difference from the pilot presentation script as derek and stiles.

aiden and ethan were both romantically and sexually involved with lydia and danny in season 3 despite making it clear they were only pretending to be high schoolers. they may have been in their early 20s but they were adults fucking minors by deception.

danny's whole dating history is suspect too due to it being implied he had an older boyfriend and he was seen going to a gay club. like what. he's supposed to be the same age as our core gang. he did have a mild thing for matt though who was at least a peer.

there's also harris being shown to be at the rave with a much younger woman (21 he says). like bruh. this is never addressed.

mason and corey. liam and hayden. stiles and malia. lydia and jackson. allison and isaac. scott and allison. lydia and stiles. scott and kira. paige and derek.

those are all age appropriate actual canon relationships. i would also add derek and braeden too.

no one gives one episode wonder heather shit about kissing stiles nonconsensually either.

derek's age is never canonically given but like c'mon. in s1 he doesn't act that much older than scott and stiles. he acts like their peer.

jeff and the writers did age him up a bit because they realized they made derek 13 when he was involved with kate. they were uncomfortable with him that young and instead pushed it up to near 16. (still fucked).

i've seen it discussed on the subreddit (🤮) and people seem to deluded themselves into thinking derek was older when he and kate were involved. ding dong they are wrong.

visionary tells us plainly that derek and paige were sophomores (hello scott parallels) and kate got her nasty hands on him not long after paige died.

i think after sterek the most discussed age gap issue discussed is derek's seduction/enticement of erica. it was definitely out of pocket and questionable behavior on his part but it is rarely brought up by the antis that erica jumped him and kissed him nonconsensually later. or the manipulation and rape by deception jennifer commits.

notice a theme? people age up derek to try to say what kate did wasn't grooming and statutory rape and deny that what jennifer did was also rape. they'll deny derek any and all victimhood while turning it around on him calling him an abuser towards stiles and basically calling him a pedophile because of the sterek ship. antis really want to make a canonical victim of multiple instances of sexual abuse into the abuser.

or worse they'll call real life people these things over a fictional ship.

where have i heard this kind of narrative before i wonder? 🙄

besides, derek only does the steering wheel thing in retaliation for stiles using his body as enticement for danny without his permission. stiles is the one who did the bad thing and crossed a boundary. it's not nice or really acceptable for derek to harm stiles like that but there's context to the action. it wasn't random. it was pointed. he never does anything like this again and in fact spends a vast majority of his time trying to protect stiles.

nothing sexual or even overtly romantic occurred between derek and stiles in canon. their only crime was having too much chemistry.

the antis are mad because people ship sterek and it's not even canon. it's all fanon. sure i'm of the belief a deep connection and attraction is there between them but it's all subtextual and never acted on by either party.

let me reiterate this: antis are mad over a hypothetical ship of two fictional characters that never happened in the source material.

besides, by the time the show ends and i mean the last, last scene there's been a 2 year time jump. when the show ends it's 2015. stiles would've been 20 fucking years old and by the time of the movie he's in his 30s.

i think by then he'd be allowed to ride derek's dick off into the sunset if he wanted.

[offsidekineticist]

This took. Way. Too. Long. I'm posting it without double checking the formatting (will probably update this later when I have the patience to fix that).

CW: gore, casual and random sudden deaths of civilian NPCs, graphic description of injuries, mention of financial barriers to medical treatment

FOR THE GLORY OF DAHAK

You are by Theo's side almost as soon as Giliys hits the ground, and you still are not there in time to stop him from falling asleep. He is not unconscious, not the way Giliys is, but he's not uninjured. There are burns–relatively minor–on his face and hands, and you suspect you will find more on his chest once you've managed to turn him over. Thankfully, none of these burns came from direct contact with hellfire, so they should be easily treated even without magic.

You have barely begun to dress the burns when you find a sword at your throat. "Drop it," a furious paladin growls from just outside your field of view. 

"It's just a roll of bandages," you say as calmly as you can. "I'm trying to–"

"I said drop it, loyalist!" 

"Loyalist–? He was wounded while stopping the–"

"I said drop it!" The sword suddenly moves from your throat to slap your face with the flat of the blade. Your head snaps back and you fall on your back. You see three or four paladins standing over you at the edge of your periphery–and then you see something in the sky above you. A dark spot emerging from the clouds directly above you. It begins growing and growing, and within seconds you can make out the form of a diving black dragon.

"HERETICS AND BLASPHEMERS! BEHOLD THE WRATH OF DAHAK!" Kob roars before raining acid on the camp. The ballista teams, turned to fire on the golem (who is currently chewing on a screaming paladin), desperately try to aim at the dragon instead as the acid burns through their equipment, but it's too late. Cables snap and whip around, entangling some and slashing others as Kob laughs and lands directly behind you. The paladins surrounding you take a surprised step backwards. Kob's head shoots forward, his neck extending, and he eats one of the paladins with a single bite. You hear crunching and screaming as he chews almost directly over your head before he swallows. The screaming becomes more muffled and then dies completely. The remaining paladins run. 

A kestrel lands beside you, transforming into her true form before she's touched the ground. Vrakka reaches her hand down to you, and you take it. "Sorry we took so long–Kob was in pretty bad shape before I patched him up. You ok?" she asks, helping you to your feet.

"I'm fine–was the acid rain really necessary?" you demand, wincing at the sight of the broken siege weapons.

"YES! IT WAS EXTREMELY NECESSARY! FOR THE GLORY OF DAHAK!"

"We can discuss this later," Vrakka says, throwing Giliys and Theo over her right shoulder and then pinning you to her side with her left arm. "For now, hold on."

"Hold o–AGHHH!" Before you can finish your question, Kob has grabbed Vrakka in his talons and taken flight, and you're left clutching her arm for dear life. He bobs up and down along the cloudline, like some sort of vicious sky dolphin–diving below to navigate, surging upwards for cover. Each time you break below the clouds you see him flying first towards Westcrown, and then past it, to the sea. Kob breaks permanently below the clouds and begins his descent,  flying rapidly towards a merchant vessel–down, down, down–

He slows just in time to land with a jolt onto the top yard of the smallest sail. The force of his weight dropping causes the ship to bob and list to the side Kob has chosen, but he seems untroubled, even as the sailors are thrown across the deck by the sudden shift.

"SEAMEN! WHENCE IS THIS SHIP BOUND?" Kob roars. The sailors–most knocked off their feet by Kob's landing, look at each other with varying expressions of concern.

"Kintargo!" One of the sailors calls back. Kob considers for a moment.

"YES, THAT IS ACCEPTABLE." He places Vrakka down on the ship deck as he shouts to the sailors, "IN DAHAK'S NAME, I COMMIT THESE CHARGES TO YOUR CARE UNTIL YOUR SAFE ARRIVAL IN KINTARGO! PROTECT THEM WITH YOUR LIVES, OR I WHO BEAR THE ASPECT OF DAHAK WILL BE MOST DISPLEASED!" 

And then, without another word, Kob launches himself into the air with such force that the ship is pushed down far enough for water to slosh over the decks before the ship violently flies upwards, back to its proper place on the waterline. Barrels and crates and a few sailors not secured to the deck go flying, some even flying overboard into the unnaturally churning waters below. Vrakka flies into the air, but manages to land on her feet–you suspect her mid-transformation landings have prepared her well for this. 

"Wait–he's just leaving?" You ask, desperately clinging to Vrakka's arm for stability.

"He said 'Lathimas' needs him–something about an egg?"

Ah. More fairy tales then.

Once the ship's rocking has slowed to something more natural, Vrakka lets you go before turning to look around the deck.

"Right, who's the captain? I reckon we owe them an apology." A small group of sailors on the starboard side of the deck, still regaining their footing, point over the side, and with how badly Kob's takeoff disturbed the water around the ship you can't imagine anyone in the water survived.

Vrakka blinks and then sighs with an eye roll. "Alright, fine, who's in charge now?"

"That'd be me," an elf in a feathered cloak with bright yellow eyes says, shakily standing up. A faint cheer breaks out on deck from those coherent enough to celebrate. "And one of you had better be a healer because ours went over with the captain."

Vrakka grins at the new captain. "I'll do you one better: two of us are healers," she says, gesturing at herself and you.

"Well, thank Desna for small mercies, I suppose," the elf says. "Alright, we'll find a bunk for those two to share–" she points at Theo and Giliys, still somehow asleep or unconscious slung over Vrakka's shoulder "–then the two of you patch up the folks who got their bell rung by your dragon, and then we call it even and pretend you got on at the harbor like normal fucking people?"

The tiefling sticks out her hand, and Vrakka takes it and pumps it heartily. "You got yourself a deal, Captain."

It’s a trivial matter tending to the surviving sailors–most of them only had the wind knocked out of them, and the few that were hurt worse only had minor concussions, and there isn’t much you or Vrakka can do for them at this point, as neither of you have the energy to cast spells. Tomorrow you may be able to ease their symptoms, but today you have precious little left to give them. All of which makes you all the more frustrated that you have to tend to the crew before you can descend below deck and finally tend Theo’s injuries–no triage would ever prioritize a minor concussion over Theo’s litany of ailment.

You do your best. You probably wouldn’t be able to do much more even if you had the energy to cast spells. You’re not skilled enough with your remove disease casting to focus the spell to a single area of the body, which means you can’t cure the infected wounds in his back–magically healing infected wounds is a good way of sending a patient into septic shock. You can use magic to mend broken bones once they’ve been splinted, but looking at Theo’s fingers, they’ve already begun to heal incorrectly or the bones have completely shattered. In either case, you probably can’t heal them without performing surgery, and you are not a surgeon. You can probably heal the burns in the morning as long as you take care to clean them beforehand, but otherwise very little of what ails Theo is something you can easily fix with magic.

Vrakka comes below deck to find you as you finish cleaning and bandaging Theo’s wounds. “How is he?” she asks.

“He’ll live,” you say. “The infection will probably pass. The wounds–except for the burns–are going to scar. His hands…” It takes a moment to find the words. “...probably won’t have to be amputated, at least. He’s going to need a surgeon when we get to Kintargo.” 

Vrakka is kind enough not to comment on that. You both know skilled surgeons are expensive, and surgeons capable of handling Theo’s injuries are doubly so. Selling Theo’s beloved biggenlil bag–which he would never allow anyway–might net enough to pay for surgery on one hand.

“The burns look fresh,” Vrakka says.

“Giliys…wields hellfire. And I think he lost control,” you say slowly.

“Hellfire,” Vrakka repeats. She blinks and then shakes her head. “Alright, putting aside the ‘what the fuckery’ of that revelation, those burns don’t look like hellfire burns.”

They don’t, thank the gods. Direct contact with hellfire might have entirely burned away the parts of the face they touched. “The hellfire didn’t touch Theo directly–I think it heated Giliys’s body. I think Theo burned himself on Giliys when he was stopping him.”

Vrakka squints. “Burned his lips on Giliys?”

You wince. “He…kissed him. As part of a ritual! Or exorcism! Whatever he did to get Giliys to stop shooting hellfire everywhere–the point is it’s not really a kiss.”

Now Vrakka is staring at you like you’ve lost your mind. “Theo kissed Giliys, but it’s not really a kiss because it’s part of a ritual.”

“Like a manual resuscitation, but…magic.”

“Qweck, what kind of ritual requires a kiss?”

“I don’t know–you know Theo, though, he knows all sorts of obscure esoterica nobody else finds useful. I’m sure somewhere in there, he had a ritual that fixes hellfire…possession…or whatever that was…with a kiss.”

“Like True Love’s Kiss,” Vrakka says flatly.

“No, not like True Love’s Kiss, Theo and Giliys haven’t met before today!” Or, at least, they better not have. You made it extremely clear to Giliys when you met that he was not to involve your family in your work. “Also True Love’s Kiss isn’t real! It’s a plot device used in fairytales when there’s no logical way for good to triumph.”

“The characters using True Love’s Kiss in the fairytales usually haven’t known each other long, either. Love at first sight and all that.”

Now you stare at Vrakka like she’s lost her mind. “You think Theo fell in love with Giliys the second he laid eyes on him. Giliys.”

Vrakka shrugs. “Makes about as much sense as your theory that it’s not gay if it’s for a ritual.”

“I–no. That’s–” That is so patently absurd, where do you even begin with that? “Theo would never love Giliys–well, not like that. Theo loves everyone because he’s…well, he’s Theo. But he wouldn’t love Giliys like love Giliys because–I mean, he doesn’t love anyone like that, but especially not Giliys.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yes.” When you were very young–after you met Theo, but before he adopted you–you tried to convince him and your mother to marry. In retrospect, you’re not sure where you picked up the concept of marriage–gnomes rarely mate for life, and those who do usually feel no need to marry–but given how transient most of the people and places in your life had been up to that point, it’s unsurprising that you sought some means of tying Theo to you. Your mother promised to consider it–she always felt too guilty about the bleaching to say ‘no’ to anything you asked for, even though she was very rarely in a position to actually get it for you–which meant it was Theo who had to let you down. He was kind about it, as he is about most things, gently explaining he didn’t feel that way towards your mother and wasn’t interested in that kind of relationship with anyone.

“Some people find that having someone to go through life with makes them very happy. But I’m happier like this–I wouldn’t have as much time to look after you children and help you grow up if I also had to look after someone special.”

You got the feeling at the time that he was just saying that, but you’ve had more than fifty years to watch him, now, and never once have you ever had an inkling that he saw someone in a romantic light. By the time you came of age and moved to Ostenso, you were thoroughly convinced that Theo is simply disinterested in romance. You are still convinced of it. And even if that were not the case, it certainly wouldn’t be Giliys who proved you wrong.

Vrakka shrugs. “You know him better than I do, I suppose. Anyhow, I need to head back east. I’ve already been gone too long–no telling what havoc Thrune’s lackeys have wrought on the migration paths since I’ve been gone.”

You nod–Vrakka had told you when you first asked for her help that she couldn’t be away for long because Thrune is trying to block off a pass that is crucially important for many local species’ seasonal migrations. She told you a lot more details than that, but you’ve forgotten most of them, partly because you were too panicked about Theo to pay attention, partly because you really didn’t care about seasonal migration of animals. You want to ask her to stay, to help you nurse Theo back to health, but she has her duty just as you have yours. 

“Safe travel,” you say, and you suddenly realize that there’s a very good chance you will never see her again–it won’t be safe for you to travel to the Aspodell Mountains as long as the Order of the Rack exists. You’ve embarrassed them today, stolen a prisoner from their own citadel and stolen countless priceless artifacts from their vault (not that you’re actually in possession of any of those artifacts–they’re probably still eating paladins). They won't let you live a quiet life if it's in their power to stop you. “Theo mentioned you often in his letters,” you say suddenly. “When you were growing up, I mean. It’s…it’s been nice, getting to put a face to the name.”

She seems surprised and unsure of how to reply at first. Then she smiles. “He spoke of you all the time when I was growing up,” she says. “It’s been lovely finally getting to meet his dear Qweck. And, uh, don't forget to clean up that cut on your face.” She nods, and then, before either of you can regret being so open, she transforms into a kestrel and flies through the hatch to the air above deck.

[pigeonwhumps]

The vet

Sanctuary masterlist

Taglist: @littlespacecastle @whumpymirages @flowersarefreetherapy

Lea gets appendicitis and has a horrible trip to the vet for emergency medical care (including a nasty surprise).

Set about three months after Lea comes to live with Anita. Well before the Diwali celebrations.

8k

CWs: appendicitis, emeto, reproductive health discussion, talk of past forced sterilisation, medical whump, medical setting, surgery, electric shocks, restraints, muzzle, leash, BBU, pet whump, dehumanisation, it/its for dehumanising (brief), fear of death, fear of abandonment, forced clothes change and stripping (non-sexual), discussion of killing in the form of putting down, conditioning, implied/referenced non-con, fear of punishment

Anita's not sure what wakes her at first.

Her room's as dark as it ever gets with the streetlight shining directly towards her window, filtered by the old not-so-blackout-anymore blind, and it seems quiet.

A tiny whimper draws her attention. Then there's a small groan, coming from the direction of the wardrobe. Anita pushes herself out of bed and heads over there – it's probably Lea, and it sounds like she's having a nightmare. Anita can't just leave her.

Her wardrobe is open a crack and she nudges it, opening it further to let in the light.

Wide, scared, pained eyes stare up at her from a ball in the clothes. This isn't a nightmare. Anita crouches down in front of her.

"Lea? Sweetheart? What's wrong?"

"Hurts," moans Lea, curling up more and clutching her stomach, "hurts, Mistress, please."

"How much? Can you move?"

Lea tries and only ends up turning over, spewing bile over the clean clothes, arms shaking as she pushes herself onto her elbows. Anita catches her before she can collapse into the pile of vomit. This isn't looking good.

"Easy, sweetheart, easy. We need to get you to some medical help, can you lean on me while I call a cab?"

Lea does so, breathing heavily, Anita's arm wrapped around her, and Anita calls the first taxi company she has saved.

"Sam's Taxis, how can I help?"

"I'd like a taxi to pick us up from Crescent Building, Park Close as soon as possible. Pet-friendly. It's an emergency. My name's Anita Ranjit."

"We'll have one out to you in a few minutes."

"Right. Thanks." She hangs up and turns to Lea. "Okay. Someone's coming. I'm taking you to the vet I'm afraid, there's no-one else this time of night. We need to get your coat and harness on, hold onto me." Lea does, grip weak, and Anita carries her out to the hallway. It's the first time she's been glad the woman's still so light. When they reach the hall Anita helps her put her coat, scarf and boots on, manoeuvring her arms into the light blue harness too. Lea whimpers.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. It's the law, I can't take you out without a leash."

"Lea?" whispers a terrified voice. Anita looks up to see Theo standing there, hands clapped to his mouth to stop himself speaking again.

"I'm taking Lea to the vets," she says clearly, and he looks even more scared. "She's coming back, she'll be okay. But she's ill. You stay here with paati, alright sweetheart?" Theo nods, still looking scared, and Anita pulls a post-it note off the noticeboard and scribbles the situation down in Tamil. "Here. Give this to Indira and ask her to read it to you." Theo nods. "Good. Come on Lea, let's get you outside."

She carries Lea down the lift (faster, why can't it move faster?), and by the time they get out to the street there's already an unfamiliar car there. The driver pokes his head out the window.

"Anita Ranjit?"

"Yeah, that's me." She hurried over to him and he steps out, opening the back door.

"That your pet? She's a cute one, isn't she?"

"Don't touch her," warns Anita as the man reaches out.

"Fine, fine." He holds up his hands and sits back in the driver's seat as Anita settles herself and Lea in the back, trying to make Lea as comfortable as possible. "Where to?"

"Blue Light Pet Hospital."

"Right."

It doesn't take long to get there, and Anita calls on the way to make sure they're ready for her. When they reach the hospital she pays and rushes inside to the reception, Lea in her arms.

"Anita Ranjit, I just called?"

"Just through there, ma'am."

Anita follows the receptionist's pointing and enters a small bright consultation room, sitting Lea carefully on the bed, an arm behind her back to help her stay upright. The fresh air seems to have helped a little but she's still weak and shaky.

"I'm Dr Rachel Archer," says the bespectacled vet, hair tied in a bun, "what seems to be the problem?"

"Lea's in pain," replies Anita, sharper than she means to.

"I need details, Miss Ranjit. Where? What sort of pain? Lea, can you tell me?"

Lea gestures weakly to her abdomen.

"Sharp. It... it was– was better but it got worse." She bends forward and dry heaves over the bed. Anita rubs her back, wondering just how bad it's been, and how long she's been hurting. She hasn't said a word.

"Hmm. I'm going to get an ultrasound room prepped." She types something in on her computer. "I need to access her medical records. Hold out your arm." Lea does so and the vet scans the barcode tattooed on it. "Right. If you just remove her coat and put the harness back on." Anita does so, seeing Lea's goosebumps as her skin's exposed to the cool air of the consultation room. "You can take your pet through there now, and then we can discuss payment methods."

Anita picks up Lea and heads out to a corridor beyond, where a woman is waiting. They follow her into a room with a bed and an ultrasound scanner. There's leather restraints on the bed.

"Just put it down here."

Anita lays Lea down on the bed and squeezes her hand. "Please, don't use the restraints unless it's absolutely necessary."

"We won't. Now if you'd like to head back to Dr Archer and we'll return your pet once we're finished."

Anita nods. "I'll see you soon, sweetheart." And she forces herself to walk out of the room.

_

Lea whimpers as the door shuts behind Mistress Anita. She's in pain, so much so that Mistress Anita noticed and brought her here, and she's going to be in so much trouble for inconveniencing her owner. And Mistress Anita says she'll be back but will she? When? Lea knows she should believe her owner but... this place... it's scary.

The woman Mistress Anita spoke to hooks her leash to the wall and starts strapping her arms and legs to the bed.

"Just a precaution. I assume you won't misbehave, but if you do, I have this." She holds up a thin black baton. "It delivers mild electric shocks, and I'll use it on your palm if you misbehave. You understand?"

Lea nods vigorously, making her head spin.

"Good. Now stay still." The woman pushes up Lea's nightdress and spreads a cold cream on her abdomen.

Lea yelps.

"Come on, stop being such a baby, it's only cream." But she can't help it. The texture is just wrong, and normally she could control her reaction to that but it hurts so much, the woman's pressing lightly on her abdomen to apply the cream and it just makes it worse. "I told you to shut up and stay still." Lea can't, she can't, it's too much, she tries but she didn't even realise she was moving, she doesn't know how to stop, and she feels a sharp, hot shock to her hand that makes her gasp. She turns to the side and throws up.

"Are you done with your little tantrum now?" Lea nods. "Good. Now I can get on with the ultrasound." As she brings over an electronic device attached to a white lead and starts running it over the cream-covered area, she mutters, "Bet you're a Romantic. Manipulating me into thinking you're well-behaved and then doing this. Wasting my time. You Romantics are always selfish like that."

But... but it wasn't deliberate. She didn't mean to waste time.

That doesn't matter though, she's still badly behaved.

Will the woman tell Mistress Anita? What if Mistress Anita decides that this means she's too much trouble to keep?

Lea fights to stay still as the woman draws the device across her abdomen and then washes off the cream.

"Right, we're done." She presses a button, then unstraps Lea and unhooks her leash. "Get up."

Lea rises as fast as she can, feeling a little dizzy. Her hand hurts now, in addition to her stomach, and she's not sure she can stand but she manages it just about, keeping her hand on the bed to steady herself.

A man in a white coat walks in and the woman hands Lea's leash to him. "You can go back now. Go with the orderly and be quick about it."

"Yes, ma'am," whispers Lea, and she follows the man out of the room as fast as she can – which isn't very fast with all the pain, and he rolls his eyes, giving her an impatient look.

_

When Mistress and Lea have left, Theo heads towards Miss Indira's room, stomach tied in knots. What's happening to Lea?

Halfway down the hallway he bumps into Miss Indira, looking tired but alert.

"Theo? I heard a commotion, what happened?"

Theo hands her the note and links his fingers behind his back, trembling. What if... what if something bad's happened to Lea? Something worse than the vets.

She ushers Theo into the front room, where he kneels on the soft rug as she turns the kettle on in the adjoining kitchen. Then she comes back to join him, sitting on the sofa.

She reads Mistress' note and then looks directly at Theo, putting the post-it down to free her hands.

"Anita says that she's taken Lea to the vet, because she's in a lot of pain, she can barely move, and she's being sick. She'll call as soon as there's an update."

Theo trembles. The vets are horrible. He's only gone once and he still has nightmares. And his old master told him that sometimes pets don't come back.

He can't lose Lea again.

What if she doesn't come back? What if Mistress comes back with her dead body? What if– what if she loses her memory again or comes back different, with bits missing or– or–

He jumps as something lands on his shoulders. What's– oh.

Oh.

It's a dressing gown. Soft and fluffy and pink. He pulls it around himself.

"Any better?" He nods. "Lea will be back, Theo. Alive and well. Promise."

Theo nods. He's not sure he believes Miss Indira, but he can't tell her that.

Miss Indira crosses the room and takes a box off the bookshelf, placing it on the coffee table where there's two mugs.

When did they appear?

Oh, he's getting so much worse than he used to be. So much more badly behaved. He didn't even notice Miss Indira bring in the mugs! He didn't thank her (she doesn't drink hot chocolate, so surely that one's his, right?). In his old home that would've been a beating offence.

"The hot chocolate's yours."

"Thank you, ma'am."

"You're welcome. Jigsaw while we wait?"

Theo opens the box obediently and tips the pieces onto the table, sifting through them to make sure they're all the right way up. It's a big one, and it should draw his attention but it doesn't, his mind keeps wandering.

What's happening to Lea? Will she be alright? Will she be back? He can't stop himself from thinking about her. She's in trouble and he can't do anything to help.

_

"So I have your contact details here, from Lea's barcode. If you could just tell me your credit card number so we can charge you if you leave without paying, that would be great."

Anita nods and pulls it out of her pocket, rattling off the numbers. "How long until she comes back?"

"Should be very soon now, an ultrasound doesn't take long. Now, I know it's an unpleasant topic, but we need to discuss what you want to do if it turns out to be something serious."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, considering the cost and complexity of treatment for most serious ailments, many pet owners choose to have their pet put down. It's often–"

"No," says Anita firmly. "That's never going to happen."

"Are you sure? It's often kinder, given the pain, and if it's a burst appendix as I suspect, then–"

"You would kill Lea over appendicitis?" she asks, horrified. "That's easily treatable!"

"Peritonitis possibly, by this stage. And most owners... prefer not to. With the course of antibiotics needed it's a lot of work. It's company policy to offer it, I'm just doing my job."

"Just because it's your job doesn't mean you have to offer it. You're killing them when they could still have a fulfilling life. Don't ever bring the option up to me again, are we clear?"

"Of course, Miss Ranjit."

Just then the door opens, and a male orderly enters, leading Lea in by the leash. She looks like she can barely stand, tears in her eyes and hand held awkwardly, and Anita rushes forwards, snatching the leash and wrapping the woman's coat around her. Then she scoops her up, carrying her over to the bed.

"Lea, sweetheart, are you okay?"

Lea nods, settling against Anita's arm. Dr Archer clears her throat.

Anita looks up, trying to hide her anger. That's the last thing Lea needs to see, the last thing she should be showing if she doesn't want to be suspected as pet lib, but... they forced Lea to walk, even though she barely can, she's in tears from the pain, and she was definitely restrained in there, Anita can see the strap marks. But she can't think about that now or she'll explode.

"Yes?"

"The radiographer has sent the initial results in, and it's as I feared. Her appendix has burst."

"What's the treatment then?"

"She'll need an open appendectomy right away, which will take a couple of hours. The surgeon will remove the appendix and clean the abdominal area. I'm guessing, judging by her description of the pain earlier, that it was only a few hours, so I don't think we'll have too much infection to worry about, but I'll prescribe a course of antibiotics just in case. Make sure you give her the whole course if you don't want her infection to return."

"Will she be given anaesthetic?"

"Only spinal, so the surgery can be done safely. We don't stock general anesthetic here regularly, as owners rarely want to pay for it."

"Fine. Can I observe the operation?"

"We have an observation room, yes, for your peace of mind. It costs extra though."

"I will pay whatever's necessary for Lea to be taken care of."

"Well, if you agree to the procedure, I'll go and make sure there's an operating room ready."

Anita nods curtly and Dr Archer leaves the room. When they're alone, Anita turns to Lea.

"Did you understand what they're going to do?" Lea nods. "You'll be awake during the operation, but the spinal anaesthetic means you shouldn't feel any pain. Only a few hours and then we'll be able to leave. You're doing so well, sweetheart." She squeezes Lea's hand. "There is a question I want to ask you though, if you're up for it?"

Lea nods again, more apprehensively if that's possible. Anita takes a deep breath.

"Why didn't you tell me you were in pain? You must've been hurting for days. You're not in trouble, don't worry, I just... I'd like to know why you didn't say anything."

Lea swallows and speaks hoarsely. "I– I'm a pet, mistress. I can– I can take pain that people can't, and I didn't think– think there was anything that could– could be done. Pets can't– can't take most painkillers."

"Sweetheart, you can. I know you've been taught otherwise, but you can take them. If you're in pain in the future, I want you to tell me, okay? I don't want you to power through it when you're hurting."

"Yes, mistress. I'm– I'm sorry for thinking, I know it's– it's bad and I– I accept your punishment for it."

"There's nothing wrong with thinking, sweetheart. It's good to think. Just don't ignore what your body needs."

Lea frowns, but nods. "Yes, mistress."

Dr Archer pokes her head in the room. "They're ready to prep Lea now. If you both want to follow me."

Anita squeezes Lea's hand and picks her up bridal-style, following the vet out of the room and through the corridors. They stop just before reaching a set of doors leading to an operating theatre.

"I'll be here when you get out, sweetheart," Anita murmurs, releasing Lea reluctantly into the hands of another orderly, who takes her leash and leads her slowly inside, hand on her back.

"I'll show you to the observation room," says Dr Archer. Anita nods, wrenching her eyes away from the room Lea's disappeared into.

It's not far to the observation room, which is decorated like a hospital waiting room – a few informational posters regarding pet illnesses, treatment and payment plans, some old gossip magazines on a coffee table, and a couple of fabric chairs.

"One-way glass. This room's soundproof, and so's the theatre."

"Right." She watches as Lea's sat down on the bed. "What does the surgery prep involve?"

"They'll change her into a hospital gown and insert IVs for fluids. Usually we'd do a pregnancy test as well before deciding to do surgery, but since she's had a hysterectomy–"

"What do you mean, she's had a hysterectomy?!"

"It's in her medical records, and the ultrasound confirmed it. WRU performed it before her first contract. I assumed you were aware."

"I've never requested her medical records. It's her body. We did have an appointment next week with... someone else about her missed periods, although I guess that won't be necessary now."

"Mm. Well, I need you to sign these consent forms before we can go ahead."

Anita scans them. There doesn't seem to be anything dodgy in there, so she signs and hands back the clipboard. Then she spots the muzzle being put on Lea, and the tight restraints on her arms, legs, forehead and chest.

"Why all the restraints?"

"The radiologist reported that she misbehaved earlier. Better safe than sorry."

"Misbe– maybe her apparent 'misbehaviour' has something to do with being strapped down, with no explanation as to what's happening and no consideration of the fact that she's in tremendous pain and has sensitivity issues which you didn't even think to ask about!" She can hear her voice rising but she's past caring.

Dr Archer stiffens and her mouth thins. "Miss Ranjit. I understand you're upset and emotional over the condition of your pet, but we do have a dedicated complaints department and I would request that you email or telephone them instead of shouting at me about it. If you continue I will have to ask you to wait outside the building."

"Fine," snaps Anita. "Is there anything else?"

"Not for now. I'll send a prescription of antibiotics for you to pick up at the front desk, and once the surgery's finished you can leave with Lea as soon as you're ready."

"Painkillers?"

"We don't prescribe them here, sorry." She doesn't look remotely apologetic. "You can buy over-the-counter medicine at the front desk, if you really want something."

"Fine."

"Goodbye then."

"Yes. Goodbye."

Dr Archer leaves the room. Anita paces, practicing her breathing exercises. She hasn't had so much trouble with her anger for a while, but... god. The way people treat pets is abhorrent. Animals are often treated better. At least they get pain relief.

She swipes at her eyes. Fuck. She needs to call paati but it's too much. She needs to calm down first.

Once she's somewhat calm, she pulls her phone out of her pocket and dials home, switching to Tamil.

"Hello?"

"Paati? It's Anita."

"Anita! What's wrong? How's Lea?"

"I'm okay. Just a bit angry. She's... okay. She has a burst appendix but they're doing surgery now. There's more but it's not life threatening, don't worry, I just... I can't tell you it. Lea doesn't even know yet, I was told when she wasn't in the room. It's her medical details and they just... told me. Without her consent. And I know pets can't consent but it's just... I don't... yeah."

"Is that why you're upset? You sound upset, chotu."

"I mean, there's a lot of things, but... yeah. But also they... the vet gave me the option of putting Lea down. Said it would be cheaper and possibly better. She tried to persuade me to kill Lea over appendicitis, paati! And they don't prescribe painkillers either. I just... how? How can people know they treat other people like this and just accept it?"

"They don't always know," says paati tightly. "Which doesn't make it right, I know. And some of the people who do are cruel."

"Like Lea and Theo's previous owners. And their handlers."

"Mm. When will you be home, do you think?"

"Well the surgery's a couple of hours, and then I have to collect a prescription and talk to Lea about something so... sometime early morning? Tell Theo Lea's going to be okay." Anita really hopes that's true mentally as well as physically. "Oh, and can you do me a favour and clean out my wardrobe? Lea was sick in it."

"I will. Take care of yourself, and don't go punching someone."

"I won't, paati. It's been years since I did that. See you later."

"Goodbye."

Indira cuts off, and Anita pulls up her email, sending a message to the pet lib doctor who was going to see Lea next week cancelling the appointment and requesting appendectomy-level painkillers. Hopefully he'll reply soon.

Then there's nothing to distract her anymore. She watches Lea for a bit, but it feels wrong, this operation should be private, and Lea's open, terrified eyes are too much to watch without being able to go to her.

It occurs to Anita then that if Lea's appendix had burst at almost any other point after her arrival at WRU she would be dead now. From what she can gather from Theo their previous owners were the type to get their pet put down rather than pay for medical care, and there's no way WRU would've operated so thoroughly on a refurb boxie without even a prospective owner.

She sinks to the floor and buries her head in her arms. Oh, gods, Lea could've died. Anita would never have met her, Theo and her would never have reunited, her warm presence and the books scattered around the place as she determinedly learns to read would be gone. And yes, they've had problems, and they certainly would've had to buy less replacement mugs without her, but she wouldn't trade Lea for anything.

She knows for certain that Lea would be dead if she wasn't with her. And Doctor Archer offered to kill her, tried to persuade Anita to let her die, as if that wouldn't break them all entirely. As if it's not a gross violation of human rights (human rights, because despite what most of society says Lea is a person).

As if Lea hasn't already had her rights violated by the hysterectomy. God. And she doesn't even know about it. How barbaric do you have to be to want to perform that operation on someone without their consent? How can anyone do that? It's not like she doesn't know about the history of what seems like the whole damn world, but still...

How's she supposed to explain it to Lea and stay calm? How's she supposed to tell her that she can't have children? Sure, she can childmind and babysit, but even there there's stigma against Romantics. And as a pet she can't adopt.

If Lea ever wants to have children... well, maybe Anita can adopt on her behalf, when she's older, but having a Romantic in the house wouldn't make approval easy. She can only hope Lea doesn't want kids. Maybe that'll make the near-impossibility of having kids easier to stomach.

Or maybe not.

God. They cut Lea open and extracted bits of her without her even knowing. It's sick. And– and if Anita hadn't bought her, if this had happened while she was at WRU, or with her previous owners, she wouldn't even be here now.

Anita almost never knew her.

And as that sinks in, freezing her at the thought, she just cries. Great, heaving sobs that she can't seem to stop. It's all just too much.

_

Lea's not entirely sure what's happening. She has the explanation from the vet and Mistress Anita, but as soon as they started restraining her she retreated into her mind. She knows what people do when pets have restraints on, especially when there's so many. And the muzzle... a muzzle usually means they don't want to hear her scream.

She yelps when something hits her hand, a burning shock. She pulls it away quickly – wait, she can pull away? She can yelp?

"Come on, on your feet, you stupid mutt, I don't have all day."

Maybe she retreated too far, if she missed orders. She stands and waits as the man puts her harness on, yanking her arms around harshly to do so.

"Right. Come on. It's time to go back to your owner."

He leads her out of the room at a fast pace that she stumbles at, unable to keep up. He tuts impatiently but slows.

Then, just before turning into a what looks like a waiting area, with windows into the operating theatre, he puts a hand on her back and smiles, turning suddenly gentle. Why is he... oh. He opens the door and Mistress Anita's there, eyes red-rimmed.

Was she watching? Did she see Lea misbehave again? What'll she do to her for that? Surely she'll find out now. Will she return her? Please, no, anything but that.

"Here's your pet's clothes." The man hands Lea's clothes and boots to Mistress Anita, along with the end of her leash. "You can pick up your medicines at the front desk."

"That's it?" asks Mistress Anita, sounding stuffy. "You're not going to monitor her or anything?"

The man shrugs. "I'm sure you can take care of her fine, unless you'd prefer she stayed here for a few days."

Lea's eyes widen. No, no she can't do that! Please, don't make her do that.

"No. Thank you. I'll take her home. Any aftercare instructions?"

"They'll be in with her antibiotics, but no heavy lifting for at least two weeks. She can go back to her normal activities in three weeks, less if you're not too strenuous with her use. If you catch my drift."

"I'll be doubling that, then," spits Mistress Anita. "Thank you."

"Make sure you leave as promptly as possible. If you're here over 15 minutes we'll start charging."

"Of course. You might have to charge then."

The man nods and walks out. When they're alone Mistress Anita turns to her, helping her sit down. "Do you want help changing into your clothes, sweetheart?"

Lea shivers and nods. She's feeling very weak right now.

"Okay. Come on, let's get you into something warmer." She helps Lea out of the thin, itchy hospital gown and into her nightdress, coat, scarf and boots, averting her eyes from Lea's naked body when the time comes. Mistress Anita is gentle with her, patient, as she helps her manoeuvre her arms into her harness.

"Is that better sweetheart?" Lea nods, snuggling into the padded coat. "How do you feel?"

"Warm, mistress." And then, knowing now that Mistress Anita would prefer honesty, she adds, "It's– it's weird. I can't– can't feel anything below the– below the waist."

"That's the anaesthetic, it'll wear off soon. What happened to your hand?"

Anita gulps. "I– I misbehaved, mistress."

"No, I mean what did they do to you?"

"Sorry. It was– was an electric shock. It's okay, it– it didn't harm me. I'll be– be fine."

"It's not okay, they hurt you. That's not okay."

"Discipline is a– a necessary and humane event ensuring– ensuring the– the continued obedience and– and wellbeing of a pet," whispers Lea, and Mistress Anita pulls her into a careful hug, slow enough that she could get away if she wanted to. She won't though, this is her owner, and besides, it's... it's kind of nice.

"What they taught you... that doesn't make your treatment here okay." Lea sniffs. "Are you in pain at all?"

"My– my hand feels like I have– have pins and– and needles, mistress, but I can't– can't feel anything below– below my waist."

"Okay. We're getting painkillers on the way out anyway. There's, um, something I need to talk to you about. Something the vet mentioned while you were in the operating theatre."

Lea looks at Mistress Anita, who pulls away slightly but keeps Lea's hands gently in hers, stopping her from sliding off the chair and onto her knees. It's wrong. These chairs are for people, not pets, especially when she's done nothing to earn such comfort.

"When you were first with WRU, they performed a hysterectomy on you. Do you know what that is?" Lea shakes her head, wary of Mistress Anita's tone. "It's an operation to remove your uterus. It stops you having children. It also stops your periods which is why you haven't been getting them, so at least we can cancel that appointment, but... you won't be able to have kids, Lea. Not by giving birth, anyway."

Oh. Lea feels... numb. It's so sudden. She didn't even know they'd done that – maybe she doesn't need to know, though, she's only a stupid pet, it's not worth telling her, but Mistress Anita thinks she should know or she wouldn't tell her. Part of her strange emphasis on it being Lea's body, she supposes, an emphasis she still doesn't understand. Lea doesn't know what to feel. She's never really thought about having kids before but now she can't, now there's no option whatsoever of her having them, she's at a loss. It feels like she's lost something, something else she no longer has a choice in.

For a moment she feels intense hatred towards WRU, and she gasps, slamming a door shut on the feeling. No. No, that's not right, she doesn't hate them. They made her perfect for Mistress Anita, they trained her, she would be nothing without them. She couldn't even survive on her own.

She's grateful towards WRU, she doesn't hate them.

Tears prick at Lea's eyes and she lifts her arm to wipe at them before Mistress Anita sees. She's a good little Romantic, she doesn't cry unless her owner wants her to, if she's better off not being able to have children then that's fine.

Fine.

It's not her decision, it never has been, and it shouldn't be.

But she still can't help more tears pooling in her eyes and spilling down her cheeks.

"Lea, sweetheart, do you want a hug?"

Lea nods despite knowing what she should do, and Mistress Anita pulls her into her arms. She shouldn't cry but she does, sobbing into her owner's warm embrace.

"It's okay to cry, sweetheart, it's okay. You're allowed to be hurt and upset, if you need my permission." Lea buries her head in Mistress Anita's shoulder, shaking, and Mistress Anita rubs her back soothingly. "If you want to look after children, we can try childminding or babysitting. I know there's stigma against Romantics but we can find something. Although I'm not sure that's what you're upset about, and I know it's not the same. I'm so sorry sweetheart."

"I– I– I don't know why– why I'm upset, mistress," Lea sobs. "I'm– I'm sorry, I'm sorry– sorry, I'm sorry, I–"

"Shh. You have nothing to apologise for. It's okay that you don't know why. You just let it out, yeah? Just let it all out."

Lea nods. She can do that. It might not be useful but she can do it.

Eventually she manages to swallow her sobs and Mistress Anita wipes away her tears. "Shall we go home?"

"Please."

"Okay. Let me collect your prescription and pay, and then we'll go. Shall I carry you? You look a bit worn out."

Lea nods shakily and Mistress Anita lifts her into her arms. They walk out to reception, where Mistress Anita sets her down. Lea gets on her knees automatically.

"I've come to collect a prescription, and pay for Lea's treatment."

"What's your name, ma'am?"

"Anita Ranjit."

There's a sound of typing. "I'll just fetch the medicine for you, ma'am." Lea hears her footsteps moving away from the desk and then rustling. She jolts – the gait, the voice, that's another pet. Mistress Anita crouches down in front of her.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, mistress."

"Okay. Good. We'll be going home soon."

"Yes, mistress."

Anita places a gentle hand on her shoulder and straightens up. A few seconds later, the receptionist speaks again.

"Anything else, ma'am?"

"The strongest painkillers you have."

"Ibuprofen, ma'am." She pauses, and says hesitantly, "I, um, I was told to give you this number by– a visitor. If you seemed trustworthy and you want something stronger. Ma'am."

"Thanks. We can definitely get some from them?"

"Yes, ma'am. I did."

"Thank you. You're a good girl." And Lea knows she's talking to the receptionist, but her voice is so soft, she can pretend it's for her – Mistress Anita is soft with her, too, but this feels different somehow. Maybe she is greedy, like her handler said, wanting even more praise and gentleness that she doesn't deserve. "Here's my number, in case you ever need help."

"Thank you, ma'am."

"I'll take two boxes of ibuprofen while I'm here though."

"Yes, ma'am. Anything else?"

"No– wait, yes, actually. Do you have anything for burns? Particularly if it's not a cream."

Lea hears the pet scurry off, and return a minute later. "These plasters work well on electricity burns, ma'am."

"Thank you."

"Is that everything?"

"Yes. Yes, that's all."

There's a pause. "That will be £4265.66, ma'am. How will you be paying?"

"Card. Does anyone even carry that amount of cash around with them?"

"Yes, ma'am. But I was asking if you have a payment plan, begging your forgiveness for the correction."

"Oh. Right. No, I'll pay for it now. I can pay off the credit card later."

"Yes, ma'am." There's some beeping, and then the reception pet says, "Here's your receipt. Have a good day, ma'am."

"And you, I guess. As good as you can get anyway."

"Thank you, ma'am."

It's only on their way out, Lea in Mistress Anita's arms, that Lea notices the screens in the other pet's room, one showing the room she met Mistress Anita in earlier.

Lea drifts in Mistress Anita's arms for a bit. She's confused. She doesn't know what that number meant, but it sounded like a lot of money. What did Mistress Anita mean by "pay it back later"? That means other money, right? She won't have to pay by some... other means. She can't, that wouldn't be fair. Lea's a trained Romantic, a pet, and it's her fault Mistress Anita has paid all that money, she should do it.

She should pay Mistress Anita back anyway. Thank her.

Lea jumps as she feels herself moving. She's in a car, head on Mistress Anita's lap while Mistress Anita herself reads a piece of paper.

When did that happen?

Her mouth is dry and she gulps. "Mistress– Mistress Anita?"

Mistress Anita moves her paper away and looks at Lea. "You're back! What is it, sweetheart?"

"Thank– thank you for getting me medical– medical care, mistress. Please allow me to– to thank you properly and pay you– you back for– for helping me so well." She's weak but she bats her eyes invitingly. Come on, please, let her thank Mistress Anita.

But she just looks sad.

"No, Lea. You don't have to do that. I don't need payment for taking care of you. I've told you, it's your body, I'm not going to take advantage of it. I didn't want you in pain or dead, that's why I did it. You alive is payment enough."

"Then what– what use am I, if– if you won't ever use me?" Lea bursts out, inhibitions disappearing after the day she's had, before she claps a hand to her mouth. No, she didn't mean to speak, no no no, and she didn't even address Mistress Anita properly, and now Mistress Anita will probably use her painfully just to prove a point. She's Mistress Anita's property, she shouldn't be saying things like that.

"Hey. Calm down, I'm not going to hurt you. You know, when we were in the hospital, the vet asked if I wanted you put down. I objected. Vehemently. I think she hates me now. I'd miss you terribly if you weren't here, Lea. Theo and Indira would too of course, but... our flat just wouldn't be the same without you. It wouldn't be our home, not without your books and scarves and your habit of watching horror films from behind Theo. I'm not sure I could stand the place without your presence. Theo certainly couldn't. As a pet, your primary aim is to make us happy, right? Lea, your companionship is more than enough to do that. You don't have to be used for anything else to justify your place with us. Okay, sweetheart?"

Lea nods, squeezing her eyes shut as tears trickle down her cheeks. Mistress Anita chose her. She could've gotten rid of her, no-one would've blamed her, she's a bit of a useless pet, but she didn't. She chose to keep her, despite all the alternatives.

Mistress Anita wants her.

"Oh, sweetheart. It's okay. You're okay."

"Thank– thank you, mistress," she croaks.

Mistress Anita strokes her shoulder. "It's not a problem." She pauses. "Are you going to tell Theo about the sterilisation? The hysterectomy."

Lea thinks for a minute, then nods. Theo's so nice to her, and he'll worry otherwise. She doesn't want to hide things, doesn't want to hurt him again.

"Okay. I think that's good, Theo will appreciate it. Do you mind if Indira knows? I need to contact some people about medical things and I'll need her help."

_

"No, ma'am." And she finds that she really, truly doesn't.

By the time the key turns in the lock, Theo's ready. Him and Miss Indira have cleaned Mistress' wardrobe and found some clean clothes for Lea to change into (her favourite unicorn-patterned nightdress and fluffy dressing gown) along with her favourite stuffed toy spider, Hugo II. Dal is simmering in a pot on the hob if she's hungry, the tea's out, and– and now there's nothing else useful to do. Theo's left staring at the front room door, willing it to open, dreading the state Lea could be in – Miss Indira reported from Mistress that she was going to be okay, but he can't quite believe it. Not unless he actually sees her with his own eyes. No pet comes back from the vet unscathed. That's what his old master said.

When Miss Indira signs to him that Mistress and Lea are out there, calling, Theo stiffens, preparing for the worst. She could have any number of injuries that would make her okay in most owners' books.

Or... or she could be not too bad, leaning heavily on Mistress, eyes red-rimmed and drooping, looking upset and weak with an inflamed palm but not too bad. She smiles weakly at the site of Theo, and he wants to run to her but he holds himself back, vibrating, he hasn't been given permission.

Miss Indira draws his attention and jerks her head towards Mistress and Lea, and Theo stands, crossing the room towards her and pulling her into a gentle hug (the vet probably hurt her, he doesn't want to make things worse). She hugs him back, one hand stroking his hair, head resting on his shoulder. He feels his pyjama top dampen. She's upset but– but she's home, and that's what matters. He feels his heartrate start to calm for the first time since Lea left.

Eventually Lea pulls away and takes his hand, crossing to sit under the reading lamp, where her face is lit up well. She opens her mouth, then closes it, looking away.

Theo squeezes her hand.

"I'm– I'm okay, Theo, but... when– when we were training together, years– years ago, they did an operation to– to stop me having children. I can't– can't ever have– have children."

Theo growls and hugs her gently. How dare they take yet another thing from her? Was her memory not enough?

"We made dal, if you want some. And there's clean clothes too." It's all he can offer in terms of comfort, he has no idea what to say. Lea nods.

"Clean clothes– clothes first?"

Theo nods, and with a look at Miss Indira for permission he walks with Lea slowly into her room.

She brightens slightly when she sees Hugo II sitting next to the nightdress. Her other spider and bug plushies are in a nest up by her pillow, but Theo picked this one out for her.

"Thank you."

He smiles and helps her change, since she's still a bit too weak and wobbly to do it by herself. She seems better in clean clothes, and he takes her hand and squeezes it as they head out to the kitchen.

There's four steaming bowls of dal and mugs of tea on the table, where Mistress and Miss Indira are hovering.

Mistress smiles at them both. "Take a bowl each. You can eat where you like."

Lea steps forward and picks one up, settling on the floor to eat it, and Theo follows. He doesn't want her to feel alone.

_

Lea leans tiredly on Theo as she eats her dal. It's warm and filling and it smells of home, and it's just what she needs after the vet. As she takes a sip of tea she realises Theo's pyjama top is stained with tears but he doesn't seem to mind, nudging her shoulder companionably and eating his food with quick, nervous bites, keeping his eyes on their owners constantly as he does so.

Once they're all finished eating, Mistress Anita stands. "Lea, do you want to try putting a plaster on your hand now?"

Lea nods. "Yes, mistress." She stands and washes her hands carefully at the sink, before Mistress Anita hands her the packet of plasters. She sinks down to the floor again, struggling to open the packet. Theo looks like he's aching to help but she needs to do this alone. She has to do something for herself, prove that she's not entirely useless.

The plaster itself is cool and soothing against the itch of the burn. The outside feels weird but she can cope with that. It's not as bad as a fabric plaster.

"Does it feel okay, sweetheart?"

"Yes, mistress."

"That's good. You're a good girl, Lea, and very brave. And you look exhausted. Theo, too. It's been a long night. Do you want to get some sleep?"

She doesn't want to, she doesn't want the nightmares that are sure to come, but she needs to. Her eyes are barely staying open.

Suddenly she feels a jolt of pain in her stomach and doubles over, gasping. The usual pain in her head she gets around Theo has come back too. She whimpers.

"The anaesthetic must've worn off. Theo, pass me that box. Cheers. Lea, take these for me, sweetheart." Lea reaches out blindly and takes the proffered pills, swallowing them. "That's it. Easy, sweetheart, they'll take a few minutes to work. Hopefully we'll have something stronger for you soon."

Lea nods, waiting. The pain soon ebbs slightly, but it's still there. Is there something wrong again?

"There's nothing wrong, sweetheart. Surgery hurts, that's all. The vet just wouldn't prescribe any strong painkillers, like they would for people who aren't pets. You don't need to go in again."

Oh. Did she speak out loud?

"Come on. Let's get you to bed. Shall I carry you again?"

Lea nods and Mistress Anita picks her up, a small hand finding its way back into hers – Theo's, it must be. She squeezes it.

Mistress Anita lays her down on her bed, head on the squishy pillow, and she looks up to see Theo hovering uncertainly. She signs a sloppy "Stay," that luckily he understands, climbing in and curling against her side, closing his eyes.

Mistress Anita picks up a book. "Do you want me to distract you while you fall asleep?"

Lea nods, and she sits down, placing a hand on Lea's arm for a moment. Theo seems to be falling asleep already, breaths evening out.

"Okay. Once upon a time, there was a small village called Rembewa."

Lea knows this story and she likes it, but she just can't keep her eyes open, and soon, despite the pain and the gaping pit of worry inside her, she drifts off.

_

When Anita's sure that both Theo and Lea are asleep, she sets down the book and creeps out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Her paati's waiting in the living room and Anita joins her, sipping at the offered cup of tea.

"Thanks."

"How are they?"

"Sleeping. They'll be okay, it was just... traumatic. Especially for Lea."

"You don't look too good either," says Indira, concerned.

Anita shrugs helplessly. "It's a lot of responsibility and I didn't realise just how much. It's up to me whether they live or die. I could've had Lea killed today and the vet probably would've praised me for the decision. No-one should have that power over another person. And yet."

"Half of the things you've told me they did at the hospital were illegal."

"I know. Who's going to object, though? Who's going to risk being labelled a member of pet lib, make themself a target if their identity's discovered and not just from WRU?"

Indira looks at her thoughtfully over her tea. "You are."

"I'm– I'm not." Anita wipes her eyes, schooling her expression with difficulty. "What makes you think that?"

"You've lived with me since you were three, chotu. Don't you remember that fundraiser you did to help 'people pets' when you were ten?"

Anita chokes out something that's a strange cross between a laugh and a sob. "Of course I do. You pretended not to understand anything at all when people tried to complain, even though you definitely got the gist. You remember it?"

"Your tatta and I were very proud of you. And you have the same fire in your expression as you did then."

"Okay, I am planning to help more. I just– I can't just leave it, paati. It's horrible, the way Lea was treated, I can't just let it go on for her and others like her. It's not right. Do you, um, think Marjorie will be awake?"

"Marjorie can wait a few minutes, chotu, come here."

Anita crumples, then, folding herself into her paati's arms.

"It's so much. It's just all... so much. I– oh, god, I– it's–"

"Let it go. You held everything together for Lea, but she's asleep now, you can let go. Give yourself a break."

And Anita does just that. She falls apart. It's been a long, hard day, and she hasn't been able to process any of it. She curls up in her paati's arms, clutching one tightly, and cries, the tangled knot of emotions pouring out of her.

When she manages to stop and sits up, she's exhausted. She scrubs her face with one hand.

"I think... I'm going to call Marjorie now. And then check on the instructions for Lea's antibiotics, and look up the recovery for an appendectomy because I bet those instructions are seriously damaging. And maybe we'll have a reply from that doctor about painkillers soon too." She glanced out the window at the sun finally peeking up fully over the rooftops. "Will Marjorie be awake, do you think?"

"Yes, she gets up early, and she always takes pet lib related calls. Breathe. One thing at a time."

Anita nods. "One thing at a time. I know." She breathes deeply and picks up her phone.

Marjorie's number rings once, twice, three times before someone picks up.

"Hello?"

"Marjorie? It's Anita."

"Anita? Are you okay? It's very early."

"Yes, I'm fine. It's just, you said to give you a call if I ever wanted to become more involved with the pet lib movement. Well, this is the call. What can I do to help?"

[snwusberry]

pairing: multiple x named reader (separate)

genre:

warning(s): language

EPISODE 3

welcome back to berry tv. this is episode 3 of EX where we interview one person and three of their exes. in this episode, we spoke to kadia and her three exes, beomgyu, heeseung and theo, let's meet them.

crew member: would you like to introduce yourself ?

kadia: hi i'm kadia and i'm on tv.

ex 1: hi my name is beomgyu.

ex 2: lee heeseung.

ex 3: i'm theo, or taeyang. whichever you're comfortable with.

crew member: do you know why you're here?

beomgyu: i don't know hey,the email was super vague.

heeseung: i was summoned and i came... this isn't some sketchy shit right?

theo: uhhh.

———

crew member: we actually have your exes here as well.

[kadia's mouth hangs open and she looks at the camera.]

kadia: you wouldn't.

———

crew member: you and two other people have one thing in common.

beomgyu: [sighs]

heeseung: who are they?

theo: huh?

crew member: does the name kadia ring any bells?

beomgyu: you guys are evil.

heeseung: kadia my dear.

theo: of course it does.

kadia: not gonna lie, i'm kinda ready for this to end.

Q: HOW DID YOU MEET KADIA AND WHEN WAS IT?

beomgyu: i met her in ninth grade when i was new to the school and she became one of my first friends.

kadia: i had the biggest, most obvious crush on him pretty much from the get go. when i say everybody knew, i mean eeeeevvveerryyy person knew. even the teachers.

heeseung: freshman college party. it was like this welcoming party sorta thing and i found her throwing up in a bush and decided to help her.

kadia: ... i downed straight gin like it was water after eating a single bag of jellybeans before the party. [she pauses, blinking at the camera] that was not one of my proudest moments, i'm not gonna lie.

theo: we met at this food truck we both frequent and hit it off.

kadia: i was enamored by this gorgeous man with the rainbow hair and i just had to get to know him.

Q: HOW LONG WERE YOU TOGETHER?

beomgyu: tenth grade to twelfth so like... two years?

heeseung: i think 5 months.

theo: round about 7 months.

Q: WHAT MADE YOU FALL FOR HER?

beomgyu: just how unapologetically real she is. she didn't let anything embarrass her, you know? like the whole school witness her publicly pining for me while i was awkward about my crush on her.

heeseung: she could think for herself... except when she's drunk.

theo: no one can tell her shit. she always knows when to defend herself and when to let people think what they want. that was so sexy of her, you know.

Q: WHAT MADE YOU BREAK UP?

beomgyu: we were going to two completely different universities and decided to end it.

kadia: i'm still mad to this day about it honestly. like get this, right? if we were to end up going to the same university, we possibly could've still been together.

heeseung: we didn't like each other in the way we thought.

theo: we were both too busy to make time for each other.

crew member: no bad blood?

theo: not on my side, no. what is she telling you? [he asks inching closer to the camera.]

crew member: who do you think will do best kadia?

kadia: theo. he's the last person i was in a relationship with, but i'm keeping my expectations low.

crew member: and who would you say was the least attentive.

[kadia's mouth falls open at the question, turning in her car to face away from the camera.]

kadia: you're dead wrong for asking that.

crew member: okay but answer the question...

kadia: heeseung.

crew member: interesting

kadia: oh lord

———

crew member: how are you heeseung?

heeseung: oh no...

———

beomgyu: obviously i'd know her best, we did date for two years.

crew members: back in 2020...

beomgyu: ask the damn questions.

[the other crew members laugh at his reaction before the camera cuts]

Q: WHAT IS KADIA'S TYPE?

beomgyu: you're looking at him.

heeseung: someone who understands her.

theo: men.

crew member: explain?

theo: end of discussion.

———

kadia: someone who gets me like i get me. you get?

crew member: not at all.

kadia: next question.

Q: KADIA'S RED FLAGS?

beomgyu: she has no friends. poor thing.

crew member: i'm telling.

beomgyu: you wouldn't...

———

heeseung: she has zero time management skills. it was so bad that for you to have her be on time, you have to give her an earlier time.

theo: i think she's waayyy to nonchalant about the fact that people don't really take her seriously. i think she deserves more respect than that and she just takes it.

———

kadia: man, i'm not sure... everyone gets a point.

crew member: beomgyu said your red flag is that you got no friends.

kadia: deduct his.

[the crew members laugh behind the camera at her straight face as she spoke.]

Q: WHAT IS OR WAS KADIA'S FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU?

beomgyu: my voice... it wasn't always this sexy though but when we started going out was when it got deeper you see.

kadia: he was so gentle with me. like, everything about him screamed comfort you know? his aura was comforting and i'd often ask him to read to me just so i could fall asleep to his voice... you ever miss someone so bad? [she busts into a laugh, not hysterically, but her body still got out of frame.]

———

heeseung: everything about me. i swear she was obsessed with me.

crew member: is that what you believe?

[heeseung laughs at the comment, unable to respond to that.]

kadia: his confidence was was so hot. like usually when a man is that confident i'm like, 'absolutely not' just i swear it made him look. so good. he just knows he's fine. that and he used to sing me lullabies.

———

theo: whenever i sang to her. she always asked me to.

kadia: his voice is majestic. everyone needs to hear it, i kid you not.

crew member: i'm noticing a pattern.

kadia: you're literally just making things up right now and i don't appreciated that.

Q: WHAT IS HER MBTI?

beomgyu: doesn't that shit change? y'all screwing me over here.

heeseung: she's an extrovert right?

crew member: there's no hope.

[everyone — including heeseung — laughs at the comment.]

theo: est..... p?

———

crew member: heeseung??

heeseung: e something...

crew member: [laughs] what?

———

kadia: my mbti is estp

Q: WHAT DID KADIA HAVE AS A PET AND WHAT WAS HIS NAME?

beomgyu: easy. she had a ferret named ferret.

heeseung: a rat... no not a rat it was a ferret, right?

theo: ferret that she named ferret. she occasionally brought it up and how much6she adored him.

———

crew member: you named your ferret, ferret?

kadia: i'm already pretty and smart, i can't be creative too, it'll be unfair to everyone else.

———

crew member: you wanna know who knows you best?

kadia: let's hear it.

crew member: it's tied between heeseung and theo.

kadia: heeseung?

kadia: fun

Q: WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH EACH OTHER?

beomgyu: i always felt content with her, you know. we used to have random, unplanned dates every so often, even though we were broke most of the time. it was fun.

kadia: our conversations were always the best. like, talking to him was always so easy because of how gentle he is when he talks.

crew member: and his voice.

kadia: and his voice.

heeseung: she helped me get out of my comfort zone so everything was always new and exciting.

kadia: with heeseung... he was always willing to try something new and so was i so we just went for it, you know.

theo: how she used to send these random shirt videos and voice notes on my phone. sometimes a picture or two. o found that so endearing.

kadia: my favorite thing about my relationship with theo is that he kept me grounded and any time i needed a pick me up, he was there.

Q: WOULD YOU EVER WANNA GET BACK TOGETHER OR RECONNECT WITH EACH OTHER?

beomgyu: definitely. i haven't seen her in years and we lost contact almost instantly so definitely.

kadia: 100% yes. a part of me still wants to get back together with him because, you know, the nature of which we ended things, the feelings were obviously still there.

heeseung: we still talk every now and then but i don't think we'd ever get back together.

kadia: we make better friends.

theo: we broke up and stayed as friends. we actually recently had a project together so it's all good. getting back together, however? is a no.

kadia: we're pretty much bestie now so there's that.

crew member: and that's a wrap.

AFTER THE INTERVIEW:

kadia: that was a lot [kadia gets off the chair and gets ready to walk back to the green room.]

crew member: we actually got a surprise for you.

[she turns around and there stands beomgyu who's smiling.]

beomgyu: heard you wanna catch up.

kadia: from who?

[he points at the person who was asking all the questions.]

kadia: i mean, sure, if you wanna.

beomgyu: i'm here aren't i?

kadia: give me a minute.

[rahadaddy]

Session 20 Recap

We had Session 20 this weekend! It was a wild ride because it’s one of those games where political intrigue dominated the session and I learned just how deep the conspiracy well runs within some of my players. 

The warlock had a confrontation with Father Lucian, her adoptive father, first thing in the morning, about her hasty engagement to Doru Donavich. Lucian confronted her about whether or not Doru is a vampire and received an honest answer, much to his dismay. He tried to forbid the marriage, but Theo managed to convince him that she has the situation well in hand. Ireena, Ismark, Yeska, and the church staff joined for breakfast and preparations.

Alistor, our cleric, awoke alone in the Blue Water Inn. He tried to rouse the ranger, Tam, but Tam’s player was absent, so Tam was ruled too hungover to join in. Alistor then went downstairs and learned of the first stirrings that all is not well with the Martikovs’ wine supply. He spoke briefly with Nikolai Wachter about the masquerade plans to restore Stella’s broken mind and the two of them (separately, but not that far behind each other) arrived at church late. Theo realized that Nikolai is trying to be seen at church, not unlike the way her uncle, Vargas, Tries To Be Seen, but is also very much trying to fill his late father’s shoes. He spoke with Theo briefly and mentioned that his cousin, Lavinia, would be back in town for the masquerade and he hoped his mother had the good sense to match her with his Bachelor Uncle, Rafael Buckvhold. Theo and Alistor concluded that it would be a lavender marriage and, you know? Good for them. 

The party then ventured to the clothiers’ for masquerade costumes. I told the party they have one week to surprise me with what they’re going to wear. I’m excited! Then, they went to Vallakovich Manor to peruse the baron’s library. On the way, Izek Strazni revealed that he has shifted his Intense And Possibly Violent Romantic Longing from Theo to Ireena, based on things that have happened since the last festival. No one liked this information. The party arrived to the manor. They agreed to lunch with Lydia after they did their researchl. They caught Vargas practicing his speech for the Festival and they began researching the Teray family tree on behalf of one of the revenants. The family tree showed interconnection among the nobility of several of the towns, including Vallaki and Barovia Village and the party learned that Sir Robern Teray’s last living (“living”) descendant is either Doru Donavich, Thorn and Rose Durst, or a woman named Anastrasya Karelova who appears to be a clerical error without a death date. They plan to go to Barovia Village at some point to deliver the Teray family crest to Doru. They then had lunch with Lydia, which I thought revealed more than it did. Oops. They also checked on Victor and tried to dissuade him from using his teleportation circle to try to find Ez D’Avenir again. While they were upstairs, Theo and Ismark clocked a voice in Lydia’s private chambers and Theo saw the outline of a woman in the mirror fading away. Vargas invited Ismark and Alistor back to dinner to discuss politics because the party successfully convinced Vargas that they know about political organization and, yes, Ismark is still definitely the burgomaster of Barovia Village. Theo and Ireena decided to get more information out of the Wachter boys about Fiona’s book club. During preparations to speak with the baron, Alistor caught Ismark checking him out and Ireena made fun. The group split.

Ismark and Alistor went to the manor and went on the weirdest double date with Vargas and Lydia… and Izek who kept asking if Ireena is single. Through some really good rolls, Alistor persuaded Vargas to consider building a council so he can focus on the truly important things in rulership (“Like festivals!”). Ismark clocked that Lydia was upset and scheming and he told Alistor of his fears as they walked back to the inn. 

Meanwhile, as Ireena served as a decoy for the very drunk Karl Wachter, Theo challenged Nikolai to a vodka-drinking contest and asked him about the book club. Nikolai drunkenly revealed that it’s not really a book club, but a place to discuss political and religious dissension and that his mother has introduced (or perhaps reintroduced) worship of The Lady of Shadows, with the belief that Strahd is her prophet. Nikolai expressed some disagreement with this view, stating that worshipping monsters never prevented tragedy from happening, never prevented him from losing Elizaveta (Vallakovich, his fiancee) or his father, never prevented Stella’s curse. He then drunkenly revealed to Theo that he doesn’t think his father died from sickness like everybody says. He said that the night he died, his father had a cold and went to bed early, his mother was out, and while Nikolai had the house to himself, he invited Elizaveta over. They heard a strange noise and Elizaveta ended up leaving. The next day she was gone and his father was dead. It had been mere weeks before their wedding and he’s never recovered from the double loss, which is why he thinks his mother is pitching him to Lavinia. He told Theo the book club will be kind of like a church event, kind of like a town hall, but that “miracles” happen - always for other people and often involving money that answers people’s prayers. Karl then interrupted the conversation, trying to get the girls to dance and Nikolai took his brother home. Alistor and Ismark rejoined Theo and Ireena and decided to walk them back to the church for the night. When they did, one of the PCs asked Lucian if it was ridiculous to think Lydia might be an assassin and Lucian got really quiet and said that he didn’t think it was ridiculous at all. 

That’s where we ended the session. The PCs are in the Church, asking Lucian for information about Lydia and possibly getting the reveal of a lifetime. Tune in next time for a “book club” meeting and the impending Moonlight Masquerade, the best festival of the year!

[chaoticgremlinwholikescheese]

Had another thought for my book:

The war ends. Everyone is excited, discussing what they're going to do when they get home. Max is unusually withdrawn. No one else can tell, but Theo knows him better. Afterwards the two go off together. Theo asks him what's going on.

I don't have anyone or anything waiting for me back home.

His mother disowned him, his father is out of the picture, the woman who practically raised him is dead. There's nothing for him in New York City.

Come with me to California.

And Max wants to say yes. God, he wants to say yes. But he can't. He won't. Theo has a life waiting for him, a future. Max doesn't. He won't drag Theo down.

They go their separate ways, Max promising to write once he gets a new place. He doesn't. And it kills him every day. He misses Theo. His heart aches for him.

He lives alone in a horrible little apartment. He works odd jobs here and there, barely staying afloat. He doesn't sleep well, nightmares tormenting him (Theo dies in almost all of them. And now, he can't see Theo to make sure he's okay).

Two months pass. Then Theo shows up at his front door late at night.

You promised you'd write.

Max can't stop himself from wrapping Theo in his arms. For the first time since they'd parted ways, he feels whole again. He invites Theo inside. They talk, work through it all. Theo stays for a week with Max, but eventually he has to go home.

Come back with me. Please.

And this time, Max says yes.

When Theo arrives back home, his parents welcome Max with open arms. They make a feast. It's the first real meal Max has had in months. They talk, laugh, eat.

Apparently, Theo's parents know a lot about Max. Not everything, of course. But Theo wrote to them throughout the war (and told them about Max when he got home).

Weeks pass. Theo and Max stay in the same room. They sleep in the same bed, pretending that Max is sleeping on the mattress on the floor. Theo's parents know, but they pretend that they don't.

One night, Theo has a nightmare. His mom wakes up and goes to check on him. She peeks in and sees Max comforting Theo, holding him as he cries. Max kisses the top of Theo's head before kissing his lips. It's much too intimate of a moment for her to be witnessing. Max sees her watching before she can close the door. She smiles and heads back to bed.

In the morning, she's the first awake (as usual). Max comes out to the living room. They make eye contact. And Max looks... he looks afraid. Before he can say anything, Theo's mom (who I'll call Magda for now) gestures for him to sit down. He does. She hands him a cup of fresh brewed coffee. He doesn't drink it, he just holds the cup.

"I've known for a while. We both have."

Max looks up in surprise.

"You two aren't as sneaky as you think," Magda chuckles. Max blushes at that.

"I knew he loved you long before you arrived here. In the letters, it was clear. I assumed we would meet you when the war ended. He told us you would write him. He waited, you know."

"I-"

Magda holds up a finger to silence him. There's no anger. Max goes silent.

"He waited for you. Each day, he waited. He was suffering. Though he was back from the war, he hadn't fully left it. The nightmares were terrible. He would wake up screaming, and there was nothing I could do. I wasn't the one he needed."

Max looks guiltily at the undrunk coffee in his mug.

"When Theo called to tell us you were coming home with him, I was angry. I told him he was making a mistake. I was certain you were going to hurt him again. I'm his mother. It's my job to protect him. But I also know now that he is no longer a child. If he loves you, you must have earned it."

"I'm lucky to have him."

"And he's lucky to have you."

"And you're okay with- with us?"

"This is not the life I envisioned for my son. But as long as he is happy? That is all that matters. You love him. He loves you. It is not my place to question it. Now come, help me with breakfast."

They stop hiding so much after that. They still don't kiss in front of Theo's parents, but they're not afraid to touch. They can openly admit they sleep in the same bed.

They fall asleep on the couch together, Theo's head tucked into Max's neck. Theo's dad covers them with a blanket.

Eventually, Theo and Max get their own apartment. It's small, a little run down. But it's perfect for them. The walls are decorated with Max's art and little knick knacks they've picked up here and there. The bookshelves are overflowing, books on every surface. The kitchen always smells like fresh baked challah.

They have a life together. And it's perfect.