#i do Not need to go this hard for how many ppl usually participate

[illogicalvulcans]

might be getting a bit too enthusiastic about work book club posting

[jellogram]

Ok question for catholics. There's some cool cathedrals in town here and I am considering attending a service at one of them for the experience and to see the inside (they're usually locked) but I am 0% catholic and have never been to mass before. I am fully prepared to be respectful but I would not be going for religious reasons.

Is this allowed? In protestant churches they kinda just want as many people there as possible so you can just show up whenever and usually no one will notice or care. Am I going to stand out really hard and draw attention to myself? What do I wear? Also how long is mass, usually? Will I need to participate in anything or can I just sit in the back and listen?

I don't know if I'll actually go or not but I just think it would be neat to attend a New Orleans mass in an old ass cathedral so I'm thinking about it. ppl with catholic experience encouraged to respond

[sugaglos]

Well said, the post wasn't about trans people, but about X person who's disgusting, shares inappropriate stuffs and behaviours, that happens to be trans. It's just gross how society is fucked up, if it was a cis person none will say a word, but if happens to be a LGBTQ+ person then everyone accuse and creates useless drama and justifications. I'm personally a LGBTQ+ member, yet I don't go parading my identity like some fucking special snowflake, it's just a small part of my identity but many other members of this community is centering all their whole personality around this only characteristic; it's so pathetic tbh. Nobody needs to know my (sexual) preferences, it should be a private thing, first of all to not expose kids to adults matters or ideologies, it's more harmful than informative. Also another point, as coping mechanisms, again I would use myself as example, I'm diagnosed with 2 personality disorders from Cluster B + other mental illness as comorbidities, following the popular troop I should be a pain the ass for other people and ruining theirs and mine life, and having uncontrollable fucked up impulses and fantasies. Meanwhile yes, it happens to have them, I keep them to myself without looking for a "community" or like-minded individuals, furthermore I don't give in this impulses nor I engage in harmful behaviours. E.g. Harmless coping mechanisms I usually engage is drinking and smoking, but I do this only at home, I don't want to promulgate my unhealthy behaviours to youth or other individuals. It's about self-control and being self-conscious. As an adult I must understand that I have the responsibility to be a model to others and the younger generation, despite my mental illness, sexuality or identity. Nowadays ppl have lost the sense of duty in regard to others, and live in the most epicurean way possible. To sum up, I totally agree with all your points and I guess that the anon is one of that special snowflakes that builds their whole personality around the LGBTQ+ characteristic(s) and has passive-aggressive behaviour whenever they sense a real or imaginary threat to their personality.

I totally agree on what you said too haha

I doesn't matter what one identifies as or what community they're are a part of, if one does stupid shit they need to be called out on it(and in this case there's actual proof of bs happening, so it's not pulled out of an ass, so no one is being accused for nothing or for just being...trans lol). Idk if the majority of the trans community think they can do/say whatever they want all the time, every time, that's not gonna happen and people will show that they can be in the wrong, like any living person. People won't be silent and that is good. No one is more special that anyone esle. Life is very hard, for everyone, and being a 'snowflake' isn't going to be benificial..for anyone.

Usually people who want to look for like-wise individuals in certain harmful behaviours, communities, they end up spiriling deeper down in a rabbit hole, even if it means "just to explore". Some things aren't mean to be explored idk best to leave alone, and like you said, have self-control, since that's the key to everything.

I'm very happy that you have this responsibility within you because you can hardly find that in others nowdays. Everyone just thinks for themselves and don't give 2flying fucks about anyone else yet expect to be treated as kings/queens, which is wrong. But what differes you from them is that you're an adult and most of these kids are jsut..kids. And we all know, whether people want to accept it or not, that kids are ran by emotions not logic. This is why these movements nowdays, especially in the US, are filled with aggression and hate towards anyone who disagrees because they're fueled by enotions and not logic..... And adults who participate in these hate-filled movements, well, they're just there for the $$$ and perhaps status. Which is very sad.

Also, anon, pls take care of yourself and stay vigilant. Thank you for your message. 🥀

[20dollarlolita]

So I did ask about pickiness in the lolita community and ur response was great.

In my original ask i actually forgot to ask the specific type of pickiness i had in mind though, which is 1000% my bad.

The problem I have is pretty much one I have with every fashion style I'm into, which is fabrics. I have severe sensory processing disorder (spd), and a solid 90% of fabrics super do not agree with me, of which a lot of lolita pieces and guides use the worst ones for me (i can give more details about fabrics i can and cant wear but plz dont ask about why i cant wear em bc spd is pretty nasty for me) Tulle is among the worst, so I use a crinoline instead, which honestly gives better shape than any petticoat ive tried.

I actually dont have many issues with skirts, since the fabric often doesnt touch you much, aside from petticoats, and own a lot of legitimate lolita skirts, mostly from lolita wardrobe.

Blouses on the other hand. The main problem is a lot of fabrics i find wearable are visibly lower quality than lolita usually has, and it often feels like it ruins the whole coord. For the longest time my go to was just a tank top and cardigan bc even finding non lolita blouses is hard bc of spd, and ordering online is worse bc I cant even feel the fabric beforehand. I could sew a blouse myself but again, the fabric would look visibly different than a normal lolita blouse, even if it was the same pattern used, and I'm scared that that would make it not count.

I actually already have a lot of stuff and have been wearing lolita ish stuff for years, i just dont post pics or go to lolita specific events, because my main fear is that my absolute inability to wear a lot of fabrics leads me to be unable to legitimately participate, no matter how much I try with the rest of the coord. Even wearing a crinoline instead of a petticoat I've seen ppl argue about.

Its less that I'm new and scared and more that I feel like due to spd I am barred from ever getting good, ya feel? And it just feels pretty unfair if that is the case. Im not gonna stop wearing what i wear but I feel lonely sometimes.

Thank you so much for what you do though i love the guides you post and I save pretty much all of them 💚

So, for starters, I'm going to speak to everyone reading this first:

Saying, "tennis shoes aren't allowed in lolita but it's okay if you're disabled," is not disability inclusion. It's shitty. You deciding that disabled people can be held to lower standards than abled people is discrimination. Abled people deciding what is accommodation for disabled people is not inclusion. If you want to be disability-inclusive, you need to listen to people asking for the accommodation and you need to meet them on their terms.

So, to anyone who is inclined to answer this with, "Well, if it's a disability, you can wear whatever you want, and anyone who says it's not lolita is wrong because you get a free pass because they can't hate you for being disabled," that's the wrong way to look at the question.

Because OP's question was about if they can find acceptance in the lolita community because they deviate from the norm due to a disability, and the answer of, "just explain your disability to every single person and hope that they're accepting of it," isn't a good one.

.

So, to actually address the asker.

First of all, you personally are allowed to say, "I just will not wear <x fabrics> because it is not possible for me to be healthy and comfortable in them," and then accept that it's the foundation you need to base your lolita fashion off of. It's completely unfair for someone else to decide what your ability level is. However, understanding where your physical, emotional, and mental limits are, and then working to enjoy the things you want to do without crossing those limits? That's just self-care. That's being responsible.

However, as someone who is disabled, I'm kind of going to say how I feel about situations like this and then hope that it's similar to how you feel. We have different illnesses and conditions and so we might not feel the same about this, so I'm just sharing my feelings for a second.

Because, to me, while saying, "I'm making this exception for myself for the sake of my health," is a completely fine option that I know I can use, I still want to wear elaborate coordinates and celebrate this fashion that I love, and I still want to find some kind of acceptance in the community. Part of this is because I don't want to be required to explain to every single person who could judge my outfit that I need to be different because of something I can't control. It's both completely exhausting and totally terrifying. I have to hope with every single person that I talk to about this isn't a nutball who doesn't think disabled is a real thing, and that they aren't the kind of nutball who wants to take advantage of someone's disability for personal gain on entertainment, and that they aren't the kind of nutball to explain to me that <real one I got:> tantric massage can treat hearing loss.

Also, i wear lolita fashion because I love lolita fashion. Even when I'm making outfit changes that step away from the norm, I still want to be wearing lolita fashion. I don't want to go to my lolita events wearing pajama bottoms and a crop top, even if I think my community will still like me as a person, because I go to lolita events to wear lolita fashion. Even when I'm required to make accommodations for my health, I still want to be wearing lolita fashion. I wear it because I want to wear it.

Thank you for letting me project there. I can't know that you feel that way, but since you asked me, there's what I feel.

And that's a long way of explaining why, even though, "you're allowed to recognize what health and safety accommodations you need to make for yourself, and then keeping to those things is healthy," is a complete answer, I'm still going to keep talking.

In a couple of my other posts, I've talked about the "faking it" cards that you get when you're building a first coord. Generally, when your'e new to lolita, people will say, "ballet flats are okay shoes for your first coord," or "it's okay if your first coord doesn't have a petticoat; just hold your skirt out" or "it's okay if your first coord has a pointed collar on your blouse," and leave it at that. What people don't say is that there's a limited number of "it's okay"'s you can get before it's not really lolita anymore. You only get a few with that first coord before you've gone from "EGL" to "waitress who lost her apron".

What people don't talk about as much is that the "faking it" cards don't go away. You don't hear about it as much outside of newbie communities, because a lot of more experienced lolita-wearers do it without really thinking, but there's always an element of "can I get away with this?" in your coordination, no matter what your level is. People talk about balance in coordinates all the time. There's a lot of bizarre guessing and faking of things and experimenting (my ILD coord this year was me trying to find a way to wear a black bow with a navy dress).

From the way it sounds, you've got legitimate lolita skirts, so if you want to use your "faking it" cards on your blouse, there is probably a way to incorporate things you're able to wear into a lolita look. You mentioned cardigans, which are pretty common in lolita (and as long as you're not taking it off, the visual difference between a cardigan and a cutsew and a cardigan and a tank top isn't really all that big), so it sounds like you're familiar with the lolita guidelines and you're already learning on how to make those guidelines safe for you to wear.

I could go on a little bit longer about the why but this has gone on for a while so I'm just going to say that the community's response to someone who has actually studied and decided to try wearing lolita, but who has to make health accommodations is going to be very different from the response that they have to people who have no experience and demand that the community cater to that inexperience.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I'm so very happy w/fs2, but a small part of me is tinitiny (very tiny) bit salty about the reconciliation going your way (that's not a beef, I love you tremendously!). you were so sure that rin should be the one to step up, even though majority seemed to disagree (on my dash), but they still went your way. it makes all the sense now to me that it happened and I'm just wondering if that's my bias-ness for rin that blinded me, since I was one of the idiots politely arguing with you after the fs1

LOL I think it's perfectly fine that you feel that way, bc it's kinda a forever debate between to say tsunderes/antisocial ppl/silent types who watch such couples and the social ones. I'm just saying it bc I myself when watching such ships with my hommies, it's literally EVERY TIME one part of the couch goes (aka my mom) "but he (Haru or Lan Zhan or Qiling or Sangwoo or etc) doesn't talk, how's he supposed to know" or "that doesn't count unless u say" or "he should've…lalala" and the other part of the couch (aka me and my sister who don't talk but show things other way) start to agressively disagree and it literally always ends like this:

And I mean, ofc depending on your personality you would watch things differently and feel things differently bc we express our feelings differently. Like I've only recently watched this korean gay dating show where there was a guy who also didn't talk but I from other things from the start guessed who he liked and then at the end turned out that none of the participants there "saw it coming" which to me was pretty wild lmao. So my point is, I got it a long time ago from real life harshly and in many comments under different shows that most people find it hard to understand these signs or even see it. On behalf of "my species" I apologize, but sometimes thats the best we can do really.

I always due to this try to look at these (my favorite) types of pairings from both sides, even tho I know I'm clearly biased too. And my main argument in this cases (as in who must "step up" as you say) is that if one despite of who he is tried as hard as he could to deliver his feelings even painfully so surpassing his comfort zone and the other didn't, then the one who should be stepping up is the one who didn't. I think thats how it usually works at the end. I just know from my own feelings that for them it was very hard to step out of their comfort zone and thats why in such stories writers always reward them at the end for that I think.

That being said in that particular case also I think you have to watch it from the point of who in his way did everything he could when it comes to their relationships and was fully invested without lying to himself and who wasn't. And it was Rin who constantly backtracked due to being scared (for respectable reasons, but still), Haru was fully in for a long time. I just think bc of all the metaphors about swimming and water and the fact that they also want to be together everywhere for life including their profession, some mixed up a bit here the professional and personal aspects.

Like when it comes to their way in professional life goals it was Rin who had no fear and Haru did (also for his own respectable reasons). But when it comes to their feelings it was Haru who had no fear, since the very beginning, but Rin did.

Also personally for me actions always speak louder than words, but at the same time I do understand that hearing some things are also very much needed. So I think its fine to feel both ways, I personally don't really get mad when ppl don't get it.

The only thing that gets me going into a heavy debate sometimes is the fact that some throw around stuff like "well he must express himself more normally" or smth in the orbit, indicating that if you don't express yourself with words specifically, you're an asshole/insensitive or smth like that, nevermind the fact that someone there cut their leg to save his future husband's life you know haha. Which to me is hilarious since its these types of characters that in my opinion are more sensitive and deeper head over heels than others. Bc at the end they due to the fact that for them its ususally the only exception thing, if they enter this territory, they usually drown very deeply and unrecoverably. Meaning once they're in they're all in, there's not gonna be any denial/stepping back an etc.

And I just also don't see the point (when it comes to love) of forcing people to express themselves in a way they don't want to. For example, I'll never serenade to someone who I'm in love with, bc I'm just not that kind of person. I wouldn't want to be someone who expects this from me or will get upset that I don't do such stuff. I myself think random little things like that time Rin was talking about Haru's birthday plans and Haru going "I'm not gonna listen untill you'll change your wet clothes, I'm scared you'll get sick" is much sweeter and to me personally enough. I'm not trying to demean here any huge romantic gestures, I just personally do not care for those. But I know all people are different and that's okay.

So I'm just saying that these kind of characters express the feelings in other ways (which to me for some reason are the most touching). So expecting Haru to do stuff from some of the people's wish list that were voiced after fs1 would be just not Haru. Also the problem there was that Rin was scared to dive into love. And what else in your opinion Haru should've done to show him that he's his safe haven I do not get no matter how much I thought about it. Bias or not but after all that patience and understanding, you gotta admit that the only option here already was a shock therapy of maybe taking it all away haha.

So when it comes to love you gotta judge everyone depending on their own scale. Like you certainly can expect us once in love turn from a cocoa bean into hot chocolate just for you, but we won't magically turn into a sugar syrup, if you know what I mean here lmao. And Rin also doesn't want that, bc he loves Haru. If he wanted to pick someone else, he would've LOL

Also I think being biased is also fine (we all are when it comes to our faves) as long as you admit to it and don't start this thing some people start where they seem to only care about one person in a ship. That's already not a shipping in my opinion haha. Like idk why but I seriously hate it the most. Bc even in times when you're certain you're right, you gotta try to see things from both points of views. In all of your own relationships too.

P.S. also forgot to say" haha I win". I'm kidding lmao. Love you too.

[dreamteamspace]

We hit 400 so here’s a- ✨ DREAM APPRECIATION ESSAY ✨

(by Yours Truly. Much thanks to the one, innocent anon who just wanted to ask a small talk question but hit my serotonin-providing hyperfixation.)

1. Self-esteem

I love the way he’s confident in his abilities when it’s become such a “trend” to either be completely and utterly self-depricating about your own skills out of fear of being labelled an asshole or overconfident nowadays.

At the same time you can still tell he doesn’t want to pull anyone down ever, and will always be really careful with that and take every oppertunity to lift up the people around him. Dream has a very emotional voice that gives him away a lot, so you can really tell he genuinely admires the people around him and he’s never afraid to say that they could totally easily beat him in something if he doesn’t have practice with it.

He tends to be a bit too hard on himself, so his friends always encourage him in his abilities, and that’s just. So nice. He celebrates his victories! He gets so so excited and happy when he wins in the manhunts, and I think celebrating your hard-earned victories isn’t something that should be villanized.

He won, and we should KNOW by now that doesn’t mean he thinks he’s somehow better than everyone. He has a pretty good eye on his abilities, and that allows him to really use them to the max.

2. Morality

He isn’t afraid to change the game! His adhd picks out a Cool New Thing and he just goes, You know what? Why not! His adhd goes “do this thing repeatedly another 3847 times” and he’s like, yeah sure!

Nobody expected him to release a song, but he just went for it! He’s been speedrunning so much, but he isn’t afraid to stream it every day 5 days in a row for hours while his friends bicker in the background.

Dream genuinely does the things he finds fun, but at the same time puts in so much effort to make them good and entertaining to watch and never forgets about his viewers.

He’s kidfriendly because he wants to be! Fame-wise, at this point he could definitly swear more if he wanted to (and he does when in other people’s content who don’t care about swearing), but despite that he doesn’t swear on his main because he wants his content to be accessable for everyone.

Sure, on one hand it could be for clout/money, but consider: Dream doesn’t stream the DSMP because he doesn’t want to take attention away from other people. He participates in the videos of his friends. He lets compilation channels and the like do whatever they want and even monetize his content. He lets his friends stream Road Trip on twitch as much as they want for free.

Dream doesn’t not swear just for his fanbase, but he does it because he has so so much respect for people. No matter how high he goes, he’s always consciously focused on respecting and admiring the people around him.

He has genuine respect for creators so much smaller than him, and he has respect for people in his fanbase that are younger than him. He isn’t afraid to go against the norm and STAND for that, either (see the video where he defends his stans).

And he defends his friends so much too! So much so it could almost be a little bit of a flaw sometimes, but I feel like he truly wants to learn from his mistakes. He apologizes for things even when nobody asked him to, and that just shows that he does it out of genuine guilt and fear of hurting someone.

He’s always seemed like someone who is genuinely willing to change to be a better version of himself, who isn’t afraid to challenge what he thinks and what other people think and what the norm thinks in order to improve everything for everyone.

Dream also doesn’t let any of the fame get to his head! As I said before - he’s confident in the things he’s good at, but in a way that doesn’t pull other people down, and he still remains firmly admirable of other people.

And even when OTHER people let fame get to their head (it was a while ago, but there was a video he made about five block jumps, where he added in a clip of a video of another guy doing it complete with credit and link etc. The guy was 100% alright with it at first, but when his video started getting more views because Dream’s video blew up, he started accusing Dream of “stealing” his content (when dozens of other videos of the 5 block jump already existed, and Dream could’ve just put in a clip of himself doing the jump)),,, but he insisted in his reponse that fame gets to people’s heads sometimes, nobody should blame anybody, he genuinely was never upset at him and just said that this just... happens sometimes.

He’s a very forgiving person all around, in part due to being willing to challenge his own norms and give people the benefit of the doubt JUST in case he’s wrong. He lets people enjoy things so long as they aren’t hurting anybody, like allowing people to ship him w people who are also alright with shipping, but at the same time taking a hard stance on, say, how shipping minors is absolutely wrong and should not be done ever (and he’s right).

3. Fandom

He appreciates said fanart and fanworks as well! He thinks dnf fanart is cool and he even appreciates the fanfic part of his fandom, something many ccs wish to ignore or forget it exists altogether (and it IS ofc in their right to do so or be uncomfortable with such content!), but Dream sees the work put into it and how people find connections and friendships through the fandom and appreciates it all the same.

He loves his fandom. So much. But not in the overdone, fake-feeling way I’ve seen other ccs be,,,, he’s just. Quiet and shy and genuine about it but not afraid to defend it.

He’s said before - and I QUOTE - “If you send hate to people or have sent hate to people, in the form of hateful comments or DMs, you aren’t welcome in my fandom. You’re no fan of mine”, which is the HOTTEST take he’s ever uttered and I love that. He really just went and said that. And he’s right. I like that despite how he’s usually more held back and waits things out before taking a stance, he chose this topic to really take a hard stance on and not budge and stick to it.

Pmbata has also said that he believes his fans have his back no matter what!! And that he really loves them a lot!!! And I am!! Emotional!!!!

4. ND/Adhd

He has adhd which is something I relate to personally (I have it as well sdlkfj). He gets excited sometimes!! I love how he shows being fidgety in mc, always pacing and parcouring around,, the way that in manhunts you can SEE when he’s thinking or bouncing back and forth between two options,,, or the way he gets close to people in mc to laugh with them.... He shows so much with his movements by them being quick and daring and calculated (and it’s especially hilarious to watch other people react to it in the video “mc but three people control one player”, where he’s the one moving and Sapnap and George will gasp or go “Dream!!” in surprise when Dream was THIS close to falling off a ledge, but he just laughs sdlkfjsdf).

When he’s not moving around he stands perfectly, perfectly still (which, idk if thats what all adhd ppl have, but I know I have something similar? Like when I’m nervous I’ll sometimes just. Freeze in place. No movement at all). He’s just relatable sdkjf.

There was one Manhunt extra scenes where he,,,,, stims by clapping,,,,,, the lil excited clap in the background,,, I’m gonna cry. I’m so soft for excited Dream that one is such a comfort clip for me!

He also tends to stim by getting under trap doors and then jumping back out of them, or jumping up a block and then walking back down over and over (especially noticable in The Village Went Mad tftsmp episode, where they were all discussing who the murderer could be and he was the only one moving, hopping up the log and then running back down again).

Also it is. Really Soft when he starts rambling and overexplaining something. What’s even better is that George, who is usually present at such moments, will laugh a little at his antics, and Dream will automatically laugh with him.

5. Rp/Uplifting other ccs

Dream wasn’t all THAT into the rp at first, but his server has been so strongly supporting and giving attention to smaller creators that he’s since completely rolled along with it. Being a villain in the RP is a difficult role because you will, inevitable, as much as it is just roleplay and all scripted, always get some amount of dislike from people for it.

Despite that, he’s basicly the main big villain on his own server where he let a bunch of theater kids beat him up in character and imprison him on his OWN SERVER. He wasn’t as into the rp at first, but has obviously been practicing and joins every Tales of the SMP when he can, despite getting zero clout for it.

What Dream also tends to do is find small content creators, see their talent and lift them high. His entire discord server is dedicated to give smaller ccs a place to grow, and when he first found Tubbo, Tommy, Ranboo, etc., they were much much smaller than they are now. He truly wanted to help them make it big.

He’s also added Foolish Shark and Hannah onto the SMP, both much smaller ccs (not tiny, but you get what I mean), allowing them to grow. He doesn’t stream on his OWN SERVER. He let himself get imprisoned to let the good guys win on his OWN. SERVER. He’s willing to play the villain and everything.

An interesting thing though! A lot of people used to/still do clown on Dream a bit for his sometimes uncertain acting,,, but when he’s around people he knows well (Sapnap and George, Tubbo and Tommy) we’ve seen him go ALL OUT. I have the theory Dream might be genuinely afraid to accidentally be mean to someone in character and have them misinterpret it sldkfjsdf,,, so he’s rly careful when he goes into the rp, and sometimes even when he’s in it he goes quiet, especially with other people around.

But also the fact that he needs time to feel comfortable around ppl is,, a mood,,, and adorable,,, sdlfkjsdf-

Apparently he’s also shared his youtube algorithm secrets with Tommy?? Which he had only shared with Sapnap and George before?? Dream took one look at that chaotic kid and immedietly adopted him as his little brother. He literally got up super early to rp the prison visit. Idk about ya’ll but I would die for someone first and get up horribly early for them second-

6. Friends!!

Dream?? Considers so so many people his friends?? And despite having so many friends, he also has his few closest friends (George and Sapnap) whom he would absolutely die for in a heartbeat. He WILL defend them with everything he has and loves them so so much.

He listens to them and really, truly wants them to succeed. He respects them so much and will go OFF about how good they actually are and how talented they are and how important they are to him.

I can’t even COVER everything about how much he is SOULMATES with Gorg. They live in each others heads rent-free. He mentions him all the time. They get!! So happy when they’re around each other!!! Their voices get so soft,,

And I can’t even BEGIN to explain the energy of Sapnap and Dream just moving together permanently. Imagine moving together with your best friend. Like, permanently. Into one house. They’re best friends Your Honor,,,,

Also,, remember the Techno and Dream rivalry? And Dream has recently said that he’s hesitant to make a serious manhunt against Techno because he doesn’t want there to be any feud between them or have them be compared to each other. He said that while he absolutely wanted nothing more than to beat Techno at first, now that he knows him better he just wants to be friends with him. He wants to be FRIENDS. With his, essentially, mc RIVAL. Friendly rival, but still. He doesn’t even wanna fight Techno or have ppl compare them cause he,,, wants to be friends with him,,,,

7. Vulnerability

What I feel like really sets Dream apart from some other ccs for me is that he’s willing to be vulnerable. He will tell George he loves him. He defends his friends. He sounds so, so genuine when he tells his fandom that he loves them.

What’s just really rare to see, especially in male ccs, is that vulnerability. It’s becoming more acceptable as time goes on, but it’s certainly not easy, and a lot of people become and stay long-term fans BECAUSE they can see how genuine he is.

I know Dream looks up to Mr. Beast a lot, for example, but honestly? I think he’s a little better than Mr. Beast. Because he feels more genuine, more bound to what he believes is right. I’m sure Mr. Beast isn’t a bad content creator! But ultimately they have different target audiences and I’m very glad Dream is the way he is.

Less of that insecure masculinity and more willing to be vulnerable, to care about things, to get emotional and to encourage and uplift the people around him.

8. Pure Brainrot

Green boi has nice deep calm soothing voice. Little shy laugh. Wheeze laugh. Gorg live in his head rent-free. He lov friends. He lov block game. He good at block game,,, a little shy but confident,,, big heart,,,, soft voice,,,,, rambles sometimes....

He also Gender. He’s so gender. I don’t know how else to describe it. I want That. Whatever That is. My gender is Dreamwastaken

[mocweepe]

tagges by @irlteddycore , tyy💚💚💚‼

1. why did you choose your url?

i am autistic n i used 2 say i was autisming (positive connotation) when i was infodumping, stimming, n jus otherwise displaying common autistic behaviors. it soumded cool n being autistic iz fucking obviously an important part of my identoty so i said. fuck it!

2. any side blogs?

SO many, like 16ish? not gonna list em all but some are:

@qpeople - current events, history, mutual aid, etc.

@bahavah - lovecore blog

@tomurasheart - BNHA

@foresightwithglasses - (‼inaccessible‼) posts i tink could be helpful 4 my future self, nonmutuals do not follow!

and dis blog iz a sideblog!

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

ER... since 6th grade sooo... 6 years????? dis accs coming up 2 only 2 years old doh, iz my second.

4. do you have a queue tag?

i don tink i do. ive already 4gotten.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

last acc felt too cluttered, i wanted a bajillion sideblogs 2 organize stuff. dis blog specifically was og a trendercore sb, but it was when da aes jus started n dere wasn a lot of content so it quickly jus became a "me" space (since my mains aes)

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

my icon was a black n white photo of a goth 4 a long time n i jus decided 2 stick w da theme when i change it bc of cross imagery

7. why did you choose your header?

i was spamton themed 4 octoberish n i haven bothered changing it yet. besides i still like da lil guy :]

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

Probably da villain4villain 1 -_-

9. how many mutuals do you have?

an Amount 4 sure. uh if i had 2 guess probably over 10 but less dan 20.

10. how many followers do you have?

none T_T /j

11. how many people do you follow?

241

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

yeap

13. how often do you use tumblr every day?

O_O

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

once. some1 was being a dipshit on a friends post n i argued w dem. dey jus kept saying sum dumb shit till dey blocked me

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

da exact phrase "u need 2 rb dis" izn too bad depending in context but almost ne other related phrase iz so shitty. when folks say shit like "weird how no1s talking abt xyz when we were talking abt abc jus a month ago ://" and ESP "i see u not rbbing dis" make me go rabid like i will kill u.

da first iz usually some1 comparing tragedies or injustices like..... which iz jus a total slap in da face 2 da victims of da event deyre putting down, and da 2nd iz noting more dan a blatant lie dat can send ppl into paranoia!!!!!!!! like UGH dey infuriate me sm. jus make ur post w/o literally causing harm. it cannot be dat damn hard.

16. do you like tag games?

yes!!!! deyre always either questionares (LOVE talking abt myself) or picrews, both of which r usually fun. i don do all of dem (sum picrews rnt suited well 4 me or da post iz innaccessible so i jus don interact w it, and sum questionnaires jus require more effort dan i wana put in. esp shuffle song 1s cuz i can only do sm dere.)

only ting iz, i don generally tag ppl. i don like it, it makes me anxious LOL. but if ne1 Does like being tagged in dese games den let me know 👀👀 ill write ur url down n tag u from now on💚💚💚‼‼‼

17. do you like ask games?

YES 100% i love when ppl send me asks n stuff :]

18. which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

kurt and soda i know r sort of. i have several others who've made a few popular posts, so dey might be but idk lol i don like. give a shit yk

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

neope. a few friend 1s (as in mutuals i wana be friends w) but i don have da energy needed 4 da effort 2 make new friends rn :( hopefully soon!!!!!!

if ne1 wants 2 participate, consider urself tagged!

[writesowhatnext]

not the brightest of ideas // sirius black

Summary: reader is Sirius’ side piece but you might have a few more feelings than required for this particular role

Request: Another Sirius x Reader ANGST (i'm obsessed w sirius angst i'm sorryyy😔) based on the song "The Weekend" by SZA. Sirius has a girlfriend and y/n is his side chick who is in love w him but he doesn't give a shit about her :( They dont talk in public and his friends and gf don't know about her, of course. She tells him she wants more than just sex with him but he doesn't care :( Angst ending please! Ty babe 🥺

A/N: I’m not a fan of stories with ppl cheating but I liked your request tbh bc I always hate hate hate it when people are like “no I love you I’ll never cheat on you again it was a mistake” bc personally that’s just bullshit

Reader: unspecified 

Warnings: toxic relationship!!!, cheating, nsfw, sex talk, angst, swearing

“Could you be more of a swot?” Your friend asked as she left the library, ready to go to the party. You laughed as she left, rolling your eyes. Charms essays don’t write themselves. You walked around the bookshelves, stopping by the section on levitation charms. Sliding a thick hardback from the shelf, you turned to sit down, instead walking straight into someone’s back.

“Shit, sorry.” You said as he turned around slowly. He was tall and handsome and his red tie suited him no matter how scruffily it had been knotted.

“Not a problem.” He smirked, wiping his bottom lip with his thumb. You offered a smile in response.

“I’m Sirius Black.”

You recognised the name. If his handsome face hadn’t already made you nervous, his reputation surely did.

“Y/N.”

He nodded, tonguing his cheek.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N.”

He nodded again and then turned around. He walked towards another boy, James Potter if you remembered correctly. As you stood there, contemplating what exactly had just happened, he turned back to face you. You bit your lip. He shot you a wink. You stepped back behind the shelf slightly. James turned around to see what Sirius was looking at. He didn’t see you.

“What’s up, Pads?”

“Nothing.”

That’s all you ever were to Sirius Black.

You should’ve known, really. Sirius Black was notorious at Hogwarts: a handsome pureblood wizard who could and did get anyone he wanted. He was smart and talented and funny and charming and rebellious. One thing he was not was monogamous. Everyone knew that. He liked to play, especially with girls. Though, he didn’t discriminate. If he wanted something, he would take it – to hell with the consequences. When he decided he wanted you, who were you to deny him?

After you met, for months he did nothing unless you were alone. He would pass you in the corridors without a glance, he never said hello; he acted like you didn’t even exist. But when you were alone, he was completely obsessed. In empty hallways and between shelves in the library, he would whisper the dirtiest things in your ear, his hands wandering all over you. He enjoyed the effect he had on you, you just knew it. He loved the way your breathing would get shallow and the wild, blown look in your eyes. He lived for the feeling of your hands on him, the high he got from the attention. When the rumour spread that he was dating Marlene McKinnon, you expected your secretive fun to stop, especially when he kissed her in the Great Hall in front of everybody. Whispers spread throughout the castle of Marlene McKinnon being the girl that finally tied Sirius Black down. You believed them until Sirius knocked on your door in the middle of the day one weekend.

There was a Hogsmeade trip and it was the last before Christmas, so almost everyone had gone. You hadn’t been in the mood, too busy with school work and not up for having to watch Sirius and Marlene snog across a pint of butterbeer. The last person you expected to see when you opened your door was him. He was more impatient than usual, pushing past you into your empty room, casting a quick look over his shoulder to see if anyone had seen him.

“Hi.” He said, as if it hadn’t been weeks. You tried to ignore the way his grin had you weak at the knees.

“What are you doing here?”

“Aren’t you pleased to see me?”

You bit your lip. He walked forwards, a sly smile on his face as he placed his hands on your hips.

“I thought we could have a bit of fun.”

You frowned up at him, far too aware of his fingers playing with the hem of your jumper, itching to remove it.

“What about Marlene?”

He smirked, tipping his head to the side. He leant forwards and your breathing stopped as his lips pressed to the shell of your ear.

“This can be our little secret, eh?”

And, so it was. For weeks.

If the guilt about helping Sirius cheat wasn’t enough, you had to cope with feelings you didn’t expect. It had been embarrassingly easy to convince yourself that Sirius wasn’t just doing this with only you so you weren’t really that guilty in the whole thing – he was the one in a relationship after all. You hated your newly messed up, self-validating logic, but it made it easier to at least partially lift the weight on your conscience. The weight of your feelings was something else entirely. You found yourself staring at Sirius across of rooms, in class, the Great Hall, corridors, Hogsmeade, even. Something about the way he laughed, the way he teased his friends, set something alight in you. It was part of a Sirius you only ever got to see if he fell asleep before you.

As a rule, Sirius avoiding sleeping with you. He would either leave straight after sex or he would be gone by morning, usually returning to his dorm in the dead of night before you or the castle woke up. He’d made it very clear that this was only between you – no one could know. It made your heart ache. As did seeing him asleep next to you. He was so calm when he slept, so vulnerable. Some nights he had a small smile on his face that made butterflies erupt inside you. It was a different Sirius to the one you spent your nights hot and heavy with. He was so many more things than just someone to sleep with and that scared you. Every time you were together you found yourself wishing for more. You couldn’t regret your choice to carry on with your arrangement; you would take any scrap of attention you could get from him. That said, you were fully aware of how pathetic it was and you realised how stupid you were to think this would be easy. What a bad idea it was to get yourself involved with him.

Thoughts of being more than what you were with Sirius filled your mind for weeks. It wasn’t until another Hogsmeade weekend in summer that he’d been able to ditch his friends and see you. He’d passed you a note very covertly in the corridor the week before telling you to stay at Hogwarts. Part of you wanted to go to Hogsmeade just to spite him, to prove that you weren’t that desperate. You were though. When you opened the door to your dorm, him pushing past you as he always did, you felt numb. You looked behind him to see if anyone was out there. There wasn’t, obviously, they all had real relationships to enjoy - not empty moments shared in the dark. When you turned around, he was kissing you, hands pressed to your cheeks before dropping to your shirt, starting to undo the buttons. Usually, you helped him. Or took off his clothes. Not this time.

It took him a while before he noticed your overall lack of participation and stepped back, dropping his hands slightly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, breathless and confused. You blinked.

“N-nothing. Sorry.”

He narrowed his eyes slightly but seemed to give up on his interrogation when you began to undress him. He didn’t care that much anyway. It wasn’t until you pulled back again, palms against his bare shoulders, his hands at your waist, that he huffed.

“What is up with you today, Y/N?”

There was no fondness in his voice. He’d never throw his arm around you as he did to Marlene McKinnon in the Three Broomsticks.

“I-“ you had even less of an idea of what you were going to say than he did. “I can’t do this anymore, Sirius.”

“What?”

He wasn’t hurt, that was obvious. Confused, definitely. Annoyed, probably. Not hurt though. He just pulled away from you, frowning. After a moment his hands left your body.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He said. You squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head.

“It’s not that.”

He frowned.

“I need more than this.” You opened your eyes even though you knew seeing his face would break your heart. “I want more than this. With you.”

He didn’t understand at first. Then a strangely regretful look passed over his features before it hardened completely. You hated the way a part of you lit up at the regret, happy that he cared even a little about your feelings before he went for the jugular.

��I don’t like you, Y/N.” he insisted, somewhat firmly, as if he were fishing for each word individually. “This was never going to be anything more.”

You nodded, clenching your jaw. You didn’t trust your voice, already aware of the tears blurring your vision and the lump growing in your throat. He got off your bed, pulling his trousers up. You watched him throw his shirt on, doing up the buttons quickly, haphazardly.

“Sirius, I-“ his eyes were sharp. “I’m sorry.”

He looked down to do his tie, casting one last hard look at you.

“Yeah.” He said, turning around and disappearing through the door, shutting it behind him.

You swallowed, chewing at your top lip as tears began to run down your cheeks. Part of you knew this would happen. You should’ve expected it from the start, really. It was never going to be a good idea to get so close to Sirius Black. You pulled your bed sheets over your head, desperate to hide from the world.

[kleeklutch]

THG fandom reflections n shit

I found THG fandom in 2015 after watching the first film, reading the series, then watching CF and just not having enough. I reread the series like three times in a row which is not my usual engagement with novels. Like I just needed MORE. I read a few blogs, started to find fanfiction and then resurrected an ancient Tumblr acct I’d made ages ago. 

Ppl in THG fandom are so amazing and it meant a lot how many would follow-back and interact. No other fandom has had the level of mutual engagement and participation that this one has had. I’ve made friends* and a best friend *waves at @randomnoteforfuturereference* here and that is a true gift. 

(*not listing friends only bc 1. list would be hella long and 2. I’d inevitably leave ppl out but if you see my tumblr name and remember me, we good. I did get to meet @rosefyrefyre in person bc she lives in same city as my brother ^_^ so I will tag her <3) 

I dipped my toe into the writing pool several months after joining the fandom. I am slow writer, but it was fun and I got a lot of encouraging feedback and also got invited to beta. It’s hard to believe I’ll be going on 5 years of beta reading and editing for my writerly friends. More than that, so many from this fandom are going on to be published whether is self publishing or through a publisher. I was happily able to go to Toronto for Tanaz Bhathena’s first book release (Tanb in fandom)! And even met a few THGers there ^_^ I got to work with a number of authors over a number of projects and that meant a lot to me. 

At the time I joined the fandom I was a quasi-quiverfull, white evangelical, homeshooler. In 2016 I left the church and never looked back. In 2017 I sent my kids to public school. In 2018 I started college to get my degree in English so I can make the red pen official and work professionally as an editor. This year, 2020, I graduated and am now officially have my BA in English!!!! 

(as an aside, writing longass tumblr posts was surprisingly good practice at writing essays for my classes)

Leaving church in 2016 was a major traumatic event in my life. I lost every single irl relationship I’d had through church. As a result of not working and staying home (for Jesus!) I had no relationships not connected with church/homeschool. This Tumblr community and my closest internet friendos were all I had. And are still largely all I have. I can’t imagine going through all that utterly alone without this community and friendships from here. 

THGers shared more than just a love for the THG series, they also shared articles, stories, and experiences on important political and racial topics that helped me grow as a person and see that I had a huge gap in my understanding and a lot to learn. So more than just being a fun fandom, THG fans helped me grow, learn, become a better person. The encouragement and support of the writers and beta readers I worked with helped me have the confidence to go back to college. I do not exaggerate when I say being in this fandom has been truly life-changing. I love how fanfiction writing helps to develop  writers who go on to publish original works, but the community that grows up around some fandoms is also a vital source of connection and community. 

So thanks for being my community, my base, my rock for so many years. There will never be a time in my life that I am not thankful for you all. 

Thanks @everlarkedalways for inviting me and other fans to write about our experience with the THG series and with the THG community <3 I’m loving to read other ppl’s stories and am happy to contribute my own. I’d been thinking about doing it since I graduated so this was a great impetus to Get It Done. 

(Askbox and messages are always open if you wanna drop in. My participation dropped to pretty much nil while I was in school, but I’m around and will probs be around a bit more now school’s done.)

[suqqubus]

Hello! I don't really understand bdsm or anything close to it, but I just stumbled upon your blog. I read your latest post and I firstly got concerned about the key thing, but now I'm relived. And Id like to ask something if that's ok. In such a relationship, is trust and consent something very important? From what I've seen bdsm is very controlling and vulgar, I can never understand it. But is consent also involved? I'm just curious. I hope that I'm not offensive!

omg ur not offensive at all!! I actually really appreciate you taking the time to ask. bdsm & kink stuff is VERY misunderstood and a lot of ppl just assume it’s abusive without taking the time to learn about it– when in actuality, kinky people often communicate & consent way more thoroughly than many people who skew more toward the vanilla side of things 🤔

trust and consent is NECESSARY in a proper kinky relationship. a common phrase in the community is that bdsm has to be “safe, sane, and consensual” meaning that everything has to be fundamentally safe, the people involved should be in their right mind to consent/participate, and CONSENT IS NON-NEGOTIABLE!

And it’s not just about consenting to the general idea of “hey we’re gonna do kinky things”, it’s about consenting to every individual thing that you do with your partner. for instance, if you haven’t explicitly told your partner “you can choke me,” then your partner should not choke you. all actions must be consented to beforehand– we call this “negotiating a scene” and it’s pivotal to bdsm.

there are some people who enjoy being surprised, though, and will make their consent more vague before a scene (maybe instead of saying “we can do ___ and ___” they’ll say “my hard limits are ___ and ___, so NEVER do that, but everything else is fair game”).

in all cases, but especially with more vague negotiations, proper kinksters put precautions in place. This could be in the form of a safe word/safe action that, when used, immediately ends the scene. additionally, many people employ the “stoplight system” which is a common thing in bdsm that basically helps a dominant partner check in on how their submissive is taking the pain. using the stoplight system, the dom will ask “what’s your color?” and the sub will respond with green (all clear, keep going) yellow (reaching my limit) or red (stop the scene RIGHT NOW).

another part of bdsm that’s not usually discussed is aftercare. kink scenes can often put the participants in an altered head space (I sometimes feel like I’m a different person, like I’m assuming a role in a play or something) and so there’s a “comedown” period afterwards. aftercare is exactly what it sounds like– caring for each other after the scenes. this can be through cuddling, talking out what happened, or even eating your favorite foods and watching cartoons. everyone’s aftercare looks a little different but it’s something that’s really important in bdsm as it puts closure on the intensity you just endured, and oftentimes makes you feel close to your partner(s).

I could never really understand bdsm/doms & subs before I got into it. as someone who has been sexually assaulted & used, I felt scared that bdsm would just be another way for someone to control me & i’d never feel safe. but getting into a d/s dynamic w my partner has made me feel safer than ever before because it’s made me COMMUNICATE my wants and needs way more than vanilla sex ever did, and my partner makes me feel very safe by constantly checking in on my boundaries & respecting what I need.

my sexuality is a big part of who I am, since I’m kind of an aspiring sex educator lmao. having a collar is a fun way to remind me of my d/s dynamic. and all the “rules” associated with the collar– when I wear it, when I can take it off, etc– are going to be negotiated beforehand, so there’s no sense of “omg im being controlled/manipulated!!” my partner and I are actually going on a date this weekend to get dinner and discuss the rules of the collar (in an appropriately loud restaurant so we’re not making anyone uncomfortable!!) 💕

tl;dr bdsm is ALL ABOUT consent and trust!! fuck 50 shades of grey and other mainstream media for portraying it in such unhealthy ways 😤

[szopenhauer]

Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your hometown?           preferred field *chuckle*

Ladies: Would you ever consider proposing? If not, why not? Gentlemen: How would you feel, if you were proposed to?     yes, I have an idea

Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy?           I haven’t

If so, which Shepard and who do you like romancing the best? -             

Let’s say there’s a person in need. They need money which they can’t make. Would you be more likely to help them out, if a celebrity asked you to?       celebs should help them, not me, I need help myself!

When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish? Or do you always try out something new? usually

Would you rather live next to a kindergarten or an old folks’ home?       old folks’ home for sure

What is the best part of your most ordinary day?   sleeping :x

Do you enjoy being on your own or are you happier when there’s a crowd around you?           I’m a loner/introvert

Do you ever look up what foreign idioms mean?     yep

What’s the strangest saying you’ve come across? I don’t recall atm

What’s a First World problem that you have?         hmm...

Have you ever made a parody version of a popular song?     me and my sister were doing puppet shows for our parents, mostly her ideas as she was forcing me to perform those until I got sick of that

Which game did you play the most as a kid during recess? nie bawiłam się w większość gier przez brak zdrowia, ale lubiłam plac z huśtawkami czy drabinkami, albo udawać rodzinę/dom i te fajne białe “krateczki” z kolorowymi “guziczkami” co jak się je wpinało w dziurki to układało się z nich obrazki (nie pamiętam nazwy)

Is there a pattern on the pants you’re currently wearing? Which one? there isn’t

Does your mother annoy you when the holidays come along in the year? my mom annoys me all the time lol Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? I’m too short but I manage and still some ppl sometimes ask me for help anyway Do you check the texture of things first or the smell of them? used to smell them but now just texture Have you ever broken the arm or head off of a figurine? How did you do this? I’m no Chunk :P

Do you believe in superstitious things such as breaking a mirror? I wouldn’t do that on purpose but I don’t believe in most of the superstitions, luckily there are some things you can do to avoid bad luck like throw salt over your shoulder or knock on non painted wooden thingy etc. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bi polar all the time? I’m sick of ppl who use mental and physical illnesses as excuses when they don’t have them - single headache ain’t a migraine nor being an ass makes you a border, shut up! Ever have an ultra-sound performed on you?  more than once Do you like those ‘end of the world,’ ‘Armageddon’ movies? some are good, some not Ever been choked severely on something? just a feather Has anyone ever compared you to an animal? Which one(s)? several like monkey, raccoon or cat Ever been in one of those church Christmas plays before? Why/why not? I didn’t participate but I watched/looked at them when I was younger Have you ever thrown a roll of toilet paper at someone before? ... why? Have you ever found yourself talking to an inanimate object? at times I talk to my computer (because I hate it so we argue), kettle and fridge, also my stuffed animals of course Something on the human body that grosses you out the most: penis Ever think of what it would be like to be a mermaid or merman? I thought and I wouldn’t like it besides maybe finding some cool stuff that drown  What is something that bothers you about most surveys in general? creators lack imagination, they ask the same stuff over and over again, it’s boring What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? red Ever want to be a doctor? Is it because of all the hospital shows? noooo Do you like drawing smiley faces or do you think they’re overrated? rarely and I’m ashamed of that tbh Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? hell no but I’m not that bad at it Do you hardly ever remember where you put things at? I have good memory when it comes to that most of the time - not counting my green scissors grrrr Where did you last buy socks from? What do those socks look like? Archelan - Christmas themed and fuzzy  Do you ever lay in the grass and look up at the sky, just because? not as often as I’d like to? Are you afraid of being kidnapped if you go outside at nighttime? raped, killed or robbed more likely Do you like showers or baths better? Why did you choose your choice? baths as I like to sit and I don’t like the glass nor have water over my head  Are you a controversial person? Do your views oppose others? it seems Have you ever thrown a surprise party for someone? Who for? nah, I dislike surprises and there weren’t opportunities/possibilities to do that Do you tap fingernails on desks? hardly ever Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? vocalist (who can play instruments) but I have no talent but don’t worry, it was a childish dream that fade away when I found out more about live of a band member Do you ever call your cousins just to talk to them randomly? nope, we don’t talk, just say HI if anything  Do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? yep Do you ever had to wash your clothes at someone else’s house? camp When is the next time you’ll go to the library? Why is this? we’ll see, covid situation isn’t helpful and I can’t focus on books lately Do you treat others as you’d like to be treated? Have you always? I treat them how they treat me (not authority figures/dangerous ppl tho) Were you a really mean kid or a sweet and quiet kid? sweet and quiet Are you someone who likes to get in arguments or fights a lot? I don’t like to but I still end up arguing, sigh... How do you make sure people know you don’t like them at all? avoid them, block them, ignore them fight with them when they don’t stay away (not physically yet)

How much was the cell phone you have at this moment in time? about 200 PLN  What would you do if you woke up randomly with purple hair? cool but wonder how that happened What color is the closest desk to your body? What all is on it? ugly light brown with shitload of stuff The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had? gonna have it soon so don’t remind me Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? aliens tried to abduct me in dreams but didn’t succeed ha!  What would you say is the color of your favorite bra? white Do you like people who are loud or people who are quiet? not too tiring but not completely silent either Does personality weigh out the sense of ‘good looks?’ look is important but not as much as personality for sure, it’s like 1:9 I think Do you hate it when people copy the things you do? could say so Has anyone ever told you that you’re good at cooking? r u kidding?... Do you have any enemies who you think are dangerous? anyone can be Do you ever try to squeeze information out of people? Konrad once told me I’m like a private detective about it because I’m so sneaky they don’t realize until it’s too late but I sadly forget infos quickly due to stress last months so it’s not as useful as it sounds Does it freak you out when the police drive/walk by? somehow Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding? I don’t drive Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? I had a friend who was a firefighter

Have you ever woken up to a good morning letter beside you? left in the kitchen but informative like - I went there or feed the dog etc. Would you ever get your nails done? I can do them myself if I ever want to

Are you afraid of worms? maggots Do you wear rings on your thumb? why not How many shirts of yours are red? less than 5 Does the color red look good on you? my first therapist told me I should wear it to be more brave but it causes anger in me so I prefer not to Do you pray before every meal? Sunday lunch with parents Have you ever been caught cheating on a test? not caught but been cheating in high school How many white tank tops do you own? 0? Do loud people bother you? omg YES Does your head itch? not currently but frequently Do you know anyone named John? my ex friend had a nickname like this Have you ever tried the cinnamon challenge? I’m not stupid Are you a fast runner? like Gimli Did you ever want a pet rabbit? no way

Do you ever want to own a house? apartment more likely How do you feel about men? blergh Do you know any police officers? my neighbor was a police officer Have you ever signed a petition? lots Have you ever aspired to start your own business? I wish Who is the oldest person living in the same building as you? mom The youngest? me Would you rather pay with cash or card? cash, cards make me nervous Have you ever used a pager? I have not Do you like visiting the beach? beachcombing is fun Do you like to buy things? but not spend money lmfao Have you ever been in a polygamous relationship? I didn’t know that I apparently am - jk Is there anyone you haven’t spoken to in a long time but you still think about daily? my grandma for example Would you like to be rich? not filthy, having enough money to live and not barely survive

have you ever behaved like a stalker? *crickets* can you lie and keep a straight face? poker face game strong when situation calls for it

have you ever feared for somebody else’s life? especially dad’s do you prefer honesty, even when it hurts? hard to tell if you could pick your own pet name, what would it be? picked my dog’s  have you ever masturbated while driving? wtf, don’t do that, gross how do you feel when someone takes the last of something? without asking? *cringe* how do you feel when people tell you “bless you” when you sneeze? thank you unless I sneeze many times in a row and they bless me every single time - then it’s annoying what are you supposed to say when somebody coughs? r u ok? have you ever committed a violent crime because of a video game or rap song? who said I play/listen to those? have you ever actually overheard one of your friends talking shit about you? possibly how many partners is too many? at once or in your entire life? do you believe that wearing an aluminum foil hat will stop the government from reading your thoughts? that reminds me of the RED movie XD

would you rather have a hook for a hand or a peg leg? peg leg 100% elseway I’d end up with an eye cover as well if you know what I mean bonus points for/to being a pirate tho how close does someone have to be for you to feel obligated to wait and hold the door for them? either right behind me or carry heavy/big load do you examine the tissue after you blow your nose? for example when I worry about it bleeding  what is your cure for the hiccups? wait

Do you miss Brittany Murphy’s appearance in films? awwww she was such a good actress RIP

Is Christmas stressful? to me it is but I’m stressed 24/7

Do you make your own smoothies or juices? meh

Do you think time really does heal all? NO

Are you more sensitive to heat or the cold? cold

Did you care at all when Steve Jobs died? ... he died?

Has anyone searched your room for anything recently? my mother for dirty laundry

When do you decorate for Christmas? as soon as possible

Would you be cool with wearing sweatpants to the grocery store? yes

Have you ever been pranked via a hidden camera? am glad that didn’t happen 

Do you know any of those people who are depressed during the winter? I’m depressed year round

If a job makes you unhappy, do you choose to stay or leave? if I can change it without ending up on the street then I leave

How does your being here in the universe change humanity for the better? nothing? Who is a person that you don’t like yet you spend time with? my family member[s] How is your relationship with money? we don’t see each other as often as I’d like to ;) get it?  How do you feel about growing old someday? won’t live that long

Are you wearing two shirts? too hot for that Have you ever owned the socks with toes on them? disgusting! Can you point out constellations in the night sky? I can not What was your favorite part about studying ancient Greeks and Romans? not interested What’s the last thing you bought at a mall? food, antibacterial gel and a blanket

Is there someone who you can turn to for money and not be ashamed? parents but I’ll feel crappy about it  Have you ever swam in a river? as a child Are there any dirty clothes underneathe your bed? ewww seriously?  What food do you love the smell of while it’s cooking? smells make me sick In what month do you start Christmas shopping? I seek presents whole year then store them for later Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity of the same sex? as a lesbian What kind of flowers would you plant in your garden? bushes, grass, moss and trees, wild flowers, if they want to grow, can stay  Do you believe that kids should be taught abstinence? I agree When’s the next time you’ll go to the grocery store? not in next weeks

Where’s your car keys? not applicable Did you keep any momentos of school dances? pics Do you still have clothes from your high school? and middle school  Do you think you could do better drawings than Napolean Dynamite? this question...

Do you own anything skull print? had a shirt that I gave to John ages ago Who are the three people you consider yourself closest to? parents and my gf Which ex of yours means the most to you? my partner as we’re back together Have you taken prescription medications that didn’t belong to you? oh well... How are your social skills? awkward Have you ever stayed at a hotel for longer than two months? I’m poor Do you ever go outside to look at the stars? there were some days in past summers when me and dad been going to stadium for a walk at night, that’s when and where we saw UFO  Who breaks away from the kiss first? she as she forgets to breathe  Do you know what you weigh? thx for a reminder - they’ll ask in hospital Have you ever smoked anything other than tobacco? one cigarette was all that I smoked in me life Have you ever ridden on the back of a motorcycle? nope Do you say koala bear or simply koala? koala  Do you usually travel anywhere in the winter? I’d freeze brrr Do you wait for someone else to take the garbage out when it’s full? we take turns Are most of your friends white? it’s not America so...

Does your hair reach your boobs? not even my shoulders

What’s something that fills you with anxiety? what doesn’t?...

What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? there’s no expiration date

Have you ever watched Bob’s Burgers? fragments

Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? I wasn’t that much of a note passer 

Do you know anyone who is afraid of horses? nah

Do you clean things that are already clean when you’re bored? tha hell?...

Would you rather live in a tropical or arctic climate? tropical

What do you do when someone overweight complains about being overweight? I say it’s important to be healthy but weight isn’t always a sign of being ill

Is there any Irish, Scottish, or Danish in your heritage? none that I know of

Do you find Asians attractive? yes and no

Have either of your parents ever been to jail? nooooo

Keep Calm and Carry On or Screw Calm and Get Angry? there’s time for one of each?

Do you think Urban Outfitters is overpriced? like every other similar store 

Are your colarbones prominent? yeah

Have you ever in your life worn overalls? I have indeed

How did you react when you heard Whitney Houston had died? sorry but I didn’t care

Do you think Helena Bonham Carter is attractive? she is

Would you rather listen to Dolly Parton or Dusty Springfield? Dolly

Are you watching The Walking Dead? I’m scared of zombies and gore 

Are you a light sleeper? became lighter

Would you consider cuddling cheating? it’s complicated

What does the purse/bag you last used look like? it’s black with red embroidery and white beads

Can you make a clover with your tongue? impossible

What’s your favorite coffee brand/flavor? I don’t drink coffee

Is your belly button pierced? no piercings!

[malazansapper]

autism month april

april 12: social skills/communication. whats hard?

well, suppose the most obvious is i have been nonspeaking for maybe 10 months now. i dont consider this hard, but i think others ppl do.

what do i consider hard?: initiating. sharing. turn taking/entering convo. make friends. interaction with others ppl. asking help. express opinion. express need. express want. time. energy.

how does manifest:

initiating: there is a story from my childhood. family friend drives me home from sports event (maybe 3 hour trip). decides to make a social experiment: will not speak to me and waits for me to introduce a topic. result: 3 hours of silence. i am not able/inclined to initiate social interactions.

my father did used to make a story/analogy for me of how to have a conversation: it is two ppl carrying a log, and [he would try to explain to me] i am having to do my part to carry the other end of the log. it is funny that the given was that i must needs participate or am presumed able to.

sharing: this one is more nuanced? i think it ties into how easy i am to take advantage of [my mind: if they are asking to use my thing, there must be desperate need, and also a kind of reverse of that: i do not often think to attempt share my mind], and also into a kind of black/white yes/no mindset [boundaries are hard]. regarding social: i am mostly holding everything back and in. because there is not a: open the gates a little. is either on or off. having on leads to me getting hurt and overwhelmed. off is {easier?}safer, but leads to problems. i should like figuring this out better.

storytime: dangers and being taken advantage of, to illustrate: family vacation: i was put on plane alone to foreign country: travelling is fine, i usually just sleep the whole time. was supposed to meet sisters at other airport (starting travels in dif city] arrive, and many breakdowns: no sisters, no phone/communication with family, only address of where to end up. i get marked, shuffled off to moped self taxi. arrive after maybe hour. told to pay a couple hundred dollars [for taxi from airport). i do, but have to go to bank with this person. mostly end of it: my family says: you did WHAT?! {really just blamed me or took a laugh from it: again in my life no consideration of how i did end up in the situation or why}i could easily have been taken anywhere or told to do anything and i probly would have complied.

turn taking: again the conversation log: this has been an issue for forever. entering a conversation: i raise my hand and wait to be called on hahahahah. every situation. either that or i just have my responses in my head and watch the others.

make friends: none friends. had parent arranged friends growing up: physical group play, physical activities {like swim pool} closeness with sister: drifted some. tried being friends with roommates last year and ended disaster, with me losing my house hahaha.

asking help: best example is first time i crash/burn at college. went as long as i could manage (love learning and books). got to be too much (not the book work, but all other stuff). withdrew/isolation. fail classes through not participate. none questions, no help: i leave, they send away. didnt know what to ask for, and no one else thought to suggest anything was amiss. taylor trivia: is yale dropout hahah. splendid rare book library. i wanted to be a wizard hahahahha

aside: i am thinking this is a fundamental flaw or difference in how autism is recognized. there is a presentation that is inward focused. some ppl are having much brain processing power. ppl are singular. with this: sort of magic: deflections, illusions. ppl assume things. leads to problems. can hold together for a long time. cracks cracks breaks

ppl look for the ppl that act outwardly. or the inward ones who dont quite deflect in the right way. illusion: master

express myself: so difficult with words or to another person [saying this way, because i believe i do express/communicate, but differently]

i am slowly getting better at asking for help? im not sure this is true hahahh. i think my need has finally overtaken what i can withstand. i start recognize that i am needing and might be available help. ssi/ssdi, programs, etc. luckily i can do paperwork and waiting: what else is new, has been waiting decades. recognize: oh, maybe these are for ppl like me. or maybe i finally have some understanding gained

[edit: how could i forget the classic: eye contact: none. some ppl tell me to look at them. my father and a therapist come to mind. is a home video with me dad, and he has to prompt me: come here; look at me; stop bouncing around; talk to me. hahah :(:(:( sometimes i am thinking: it is so personal, it is too much. both ways. sometimes i watch mouths, often just looking away, processing, or waiting for the speaking to be finished hahahah]

[edit 2: the phone: hrm, i use the relay system now, so i think the change is that i have less anxiety about it. i still plan out what will be needed and said, start thinking about it the day before, but having the whole interaction typed is so much easier to me.]

[yeetdam]

Could you ship your mutuals with silverboys/treasure 13? I’m curious 🙀

smh i accidentally closed the tab before i could save it fml but anyway: instead of studying maths and after killing my body with a 45 min workout, i am here to answer this ask that was long overdue thank you anon for being so curious uwu!! also i apologize i might’ve got carried away skjdl and this is not proofread in any shape or form

@yoonbins x yoonbin is the couple that tries to keep it low but everyone knows that they’re a thing imo 💖 mini god kara i’m not trying to call you out but yoonbin would gladly accept that s***** from you anytime úwù skinship in public isn’t really their thing, but if bin is feeling bold, he’d secretly hold her hand under the desk klasjdklajs kara isn’t one to show her emotions a lot but it’s fine bc yoonbin is an attentive guy and just knows how smitten he is for her!!! not really the most romantic couple out there, but when it comes to banter? OOF nobody can beat them what a pure relationship (also, expect long cuddle sessions when it’s just the two of them teehee)

@byounggonsgf x byounggon is the power couple everyone on ygtb tumblr and their MUMS know of and approve of: first of all, visual wise?? GOD TIER. SUPERIOR. YOU WISH. we all know how much of a visual kweenie angel zeen is, and we all know how hot gon is (pls the entire fandom has a crush on him) and the two combined?? YOUR FAVS COULD NEVER (unless your favs are zeen and gon uwu) also, just one glance at zeen’s tags just show how much love she harbors for him and i imagine her to be the type to write stuff abt him in a seperate notebook and when gon finds out, he’ll go all out and arrange some romantic candlelight dinner or shit 💖 in other words, they’re the disgustingly sweet couple you’d see in romance anime uwu

@ggoncafe x byounggon is also a ship i advocate !!! he’d do anything to make ess smile and laugh; it’s one of his fav sights after all - especially that thing that ess does where she scrunches her nose whenever she laughs??? he is SOLD. WHIPPED. IN AWE. i feel like gon can be quite the romantic in his way and would write so many songs abt ess lskjdlkj aside of that, ess strikes me as the type to annoy the shit out of him just for fun LMAO - it’s nothing bad, imagine this: she’d text him in capslock and keyboard smashes just to garner his attention and then, he’d face time her and try to be fed up but in reality? he’s glad she did that? bc that gives him the perfect excuse to see her lkjsdj 

say what you want; okay cool you think the earth is flat fine then but not thinking that @mashilove x byounggon is a cute ship? sis you’re abt to cATcH ThESe HaNDs - uyen radiates something akin to big mom energy: maybe it’s partly bc she’s just as old as gon but her tags to everyone just SCREAM soft protective nature 💖 also i feel like uyen, as great as she is, sometimes deals with huge insecurity issues and gon would try his best to lift up her spirits and convince her that she is a beautiful child of the angels the world doesn’t even deserve!!! we are talking abt gon dedicating 28398309 songs to her and cuddle attacks and soft shit oof

looking back i realize byounggon also has a mf power harem and to finish it off, i also think that @speckofglitter x byounggon is the couple you should be scared of. why scared? bc they’re gonna make you set your standards so impossibly high AND THATS THE TEA 💖 gon picking up tiyi after her lectures at university? every time when he can afford to? which is pretty much every second day? and if he has much free time before he’d make sure to buy some food for tiyi? it doesn’t help that he’s a soundcloud rapper of course everyone’s gonna have high standards! it doesn’t stop there tho; just imagine them trying some couple dances like ellen and Brian hnnngh 

@junkyeu x junkyu is ! so ! pure !!!! junkyu would be so so smitten and so so proud of Linh and he’d take any opportunity to boast abt her. she’s so beautiful? he’d say that to every second stranger they pass by. she’s a multilingual queen? he’d tweet it out several times a day, post it on his snapchat, probably write it on a wall “LINH IS A MULTILINGUAL LEGEND YOUR S/O COULD NEVER 💖“ and so on. he is so damn supportive up to the point where it might be a little excessive to her but she still loves him dearly :’) the harshest thing she might do is prolly insult him lightly in any language he doesn’t understand LMAOOO

1/3 of the seunghun harem ship i support is @kimseunghoney x seunghun ! yet another couple that would flaunt that they’re together but guess what?? everyone is LIVING for it 💖 christina is such a soft fluffball who’s trying her best to get through her exams and seunghun being the supportive (yet needy) boyfriend he is, would partly distract her partly help her?? he’d be the type to randomly come over to her place with the reason of wanting to help her study bc ! good ! grades ! is ! what ! she ! wants ! but then five minutes later, he’d try to get her to take a break and then woo her to a nap bc she’s been working so hard uwu (also, the perfect timing for him to fill up his camera roll full of pics of christina saljdlk)

2/3 of the seunghun harem is @seunghunies x seunghun 💖 now with those two combined,,,, get ready for the skinship and disgustingly domestic and tooth rotten fluff between them uGh [edit: the latter got deleted WHY TUMBLR WHY SMH so starting here is the cont.] seunghun is the type to show off that vale is his up to the point where he might shove it up everyone and their mum's faces jskdk but it's full of love!!! Snapchat? Instagram? Everywhere — he's gonna say how much he loves vale during an ig live or in his story dedicated to vale and vale ONLY 💞🤧 also!!! Restaurant dates!!!! So many!!!! They'd go taste testing in the entire city !!!! And he'd take so many pics of her and the best thing abt the cute shit? Vale plays along!! (At least most of the time teehee) say he'd want her to pose for the camera? She'd gladly do it- unless she's feeling a little sneaky then she'd do anything to mess up the snapshot kajdjdjkdk we love banter 😜💓

3/3 of the harem is @seunghunn x seunghun uwu THE. SOFTEST. COUPLE. IN THE UNIVERSE. mashikyu doesn’t compare anyway, we’ve already established how much of a passionate lover hun is right?? and i peg seunghun the type to crave his s/o’s attention at any time possible so if you ever lay his eyes off him, he’d do anything to win your attention back! perhaps one might say that maddi cherishes her sleep more than our #1 furry king and if she’s particularly stressed, she’s heading straight to her bed and to the one-hour nap she desperately needs. depending on how hun is feeling, he might either a) play the big spoon and nap with her sdjlkjsa or b) be the whiny bitch he is and try to wake her up (ofc only if he’s 100% sure that she wouldnt mind as much as usual) 💖 in case he guessed wrong and woke her up while she’s pissed, he’d make up with some good homecooked food UGH

@moonxlika x hyunsuk is the badass couple who always hype one another up you don’t even KNOW. be it a competition or a game, you can bet that one is cheering for the other - unless they both participate, then it’d be a mixture of “good luck uwu” or “i’m gonna beat your ass just watch me” 💖 they’re the type to bond over their music taste and seriously lika and hyunsuk aren’t afraid to show that they’re a thing it’s so cute kljfl you know that some ppl get embarrassed when their s/o suddenly does a hoe drop or dresses really hot like with chokers or shit? then there are some ppl who get pissed / jealous / idk at least not embarrassed and shy when their s/o does that? neither of them fall into any of those types. say hyunsuk is suddenly out there with a choker and what do i know a mesh shirt? lika strikes me as someone who’d go yES BITCH THAT HOT DUDE RIGHT THERE IS MY BOYFRIEND SEE HIM and say lika pops of on the dance floor, hyunsuk would be like mY GIRLFRIEND HAS SOME MOVES Y’ALL 

whereas lika x suk could be classified as one of the more hard couples on the spectrum, @hyunsukmyass x hyunsuk is the epitome of bubblegum and sugar and (perhaps little) spice (at least that’s what everyone thinks but sshhh) 💖 i feel like in public suk would try hard to have the image of being sim’s edgy boyfriend but little does he know that sim dishes out the truth to all of her friends HDSJKHSKJ like that one time suk admitted his wallet was suffering due to the bouquet of flowers he bought her when sim was feeling low? or the time where he put his pride and sanity aside and took care of her when she was sick even tho it was a given that he’d get infected too? everyone knows and whereas suk is HIGHkey embarrassed to a certain extent, he’d try to find something he can tease sim with!! and then… he finds it... cute shit sim writes abt suk…. or even worse… her fanfics abt celebrity xy and suk has a LOT of fun teasing her with it ksajdkljkl he’d never say anything negative but once in a while he’d go like “so,,, sim,,,, wanna recreate that one scene you wrote in fanfic xy?” or even “hey what do you think if i were a rocker but also super super good at school?” gET READY FOR THE BANTER AND LAUGHTER AND TICKLE FIGHTS THAT FOLLOW SUIT

[ichbindaa]

Name one of your favorite tropes.What has influenced your writing and blog? What is a trope you’ve always wanted to subvert?

Favorite trope? I have so many omg... I guess one would have to be like.. As cheesy as this is going to be, rivals to lovers? Like. Real slow burn type of thing. Like sure they don’t get along all the time and have disagreements but that doesn’t mean two people can’t work together and/or fall in love. Which might be obvious from how hard I ship Moi.cy

What has influenced me? That’s a tough one. I read a lot of books when I was younger. Like the Twilight Saga, some of the Warriors series, and even reading some of my dad’s comics when I was a wee lass. I was always told I had a knack at writing, and really started getting into it around middle school. I met folk who had the same interests as me, and we’d literally write RPs together in a notebook instead of participating in chorus lmao. Those same ppl inspired me and kept me going, and even when I stopped writing for a while, it was always a thing I loved. And honestly, the people I’ve met here have influenced me a bit too, to branch out of my comfort zone, and just have a good fun experience all around.

A trope I want to subvert? I’m gonna answer this from a fandom standpoint rather than just in general cause honestly, I want to see this go away.

WARNING LONG ASS PERHAPS UNPOPULAR OPINION UNDER CUT

People in the fandom immediately write Moira as “evil”. Even tho a common theme in the series is small hints that “the world isn’t black or white” and whatnot. So they demonize the hell out of this woman. And yeah I’ll admit, she ain’t the nicest. She’s bold and brash and will kick you in the ass. Sure, she works with Talon. Sure, she has supposedly unethical ways of doing science but where’s the proof. All we have are some in game interactions and the common theme IS NO ONE LIKES THAT IRISH BEAUTY and I honestly want to see that go away. Like an onion, people have layers. And so do characters. And they instantly assume she made Widowmaker (AGAIN NO PROOF) AND Reaper. Hell some believe she betrayed Gabe and Blackwatch, but we literally don’t know. While I get people will hold onto the in game stuff dearly, I feel as though it should be taken with a grain of salt. Cause if I remember, the devs even said none of that is canon, just kinda like.. General assumptions?

But forreal stop demonizing her because you want a “bad guy” to blame. I’ll dip into this a little as well, but the Mo.icy trope that ppl take as canon that they instantly hated eachother? Don’t agree with. Even if I took out my personal hcs for each character, I still believe that perhaps there’s something more behind it all. Yes Mercy states Moira’s ways are “unethical” but we don’t even KNOW what she did that was considered unethical. Was it the experimenting on herself? Maybe. But even then, what was she supposed to test on? Lower class folk? 

I joke that Mercy and Moira were probably frustrated with one another at times, and poke legit fun at it. Cause they are just wildly different. Now I’m not saying Moira is a saint or w/e, no one really is in Overwatch. But people really need to look DEEP into characters and stop believing everything the fandom itself believes. Not to mention the trope w/ Moi.cy is usually depicted as a “functional and normal” relationship when it’s deadass destructive and unhealthy in that light. It sets a bad example, especially to the younger fans.

And honestly you can disagree with me, that’s valid. this is NOT ship hate or dissing other people’s portrayals of moira or mercy. Do what you want! But i honestly think like, supporting shitting on Moira without even considering her lore and her own motives. and honestly blizzard just might follow that trope, and I personally see it as bad writing. Like there’s SO MUCH MORE one can do. And the Moi.cy dynamic trope honestly explains itself. Just don’t idolize/romanticize toxic ass ships. If you’re writing it and acknowledge that it’s unhealthy, go off tho. not every ship is gonna be sweet n soft.

One last thing, the hate is so ingrained in the fandom over Moira that i’ve deadass seen ppl go to moira’s just to verbally harass her. with a character that wouldnt even KNOW she existed. so ppl gotta keep ooc n ic seperate and stop following a dumbass trend imo

anyway im ali and thanks for coming to my ted talk!

[cosmospoons]

House MD season 2

30 second episode recaps from someone whos just watched em for the first time and has bad recall

Ep1: they gotta cure the death row dude so he can go back to death row to b killed, cameron is Bad at telling ppl they're dying, house n Wilson had lunch with the coma guy, they cured death row man, also they changed the theme and I hate it Ep2: House has hayfever lmao, this cancer girl with hallucinations is honestly just the coolest she's so positive I love her, shes nine and got chase to kiss her hero,, house an Wilson have a shared balcony amazing, Wilson is so good and pure and is amazing at his job holy shit I love this man. House actually 'temporarily killed' the patient to cure her and made people run drills on a dead man. House is 400% going to buy a motorbike Ep3: i prayed for Cuddy's handyman to fall off her roof past the window and then god answered my prayers and he did, house broke into Cuddy's house mainly to look at her underwear lbr and then won the 'can we chop off his arm' argument, house secretly speaks spanish and waited for the most dramatic moment to reveal this, they gate crashed a cock fight (ayy) and saved the patient Ep4: the patient is a doctor with an ego ((according to house lmao pot, kettle)) who wanted to sit in on the diagnostic process and honestly is actually full of himself,, house puts him on a tippy table and cranks it up, foreman made a patient cry except he was pretending to be house lmao house got in shit,, Cameron needs to stop please, can the patient get his head out his arse please. house gatecrashes the press conference that the patient called and managed to put him into cardiac arrest on live television and eventually cured him of everything cept bein a knob Ep5: Wilson's handwriting is such doctor handwriting and house definitely bought a motorbike and made Wilson pay for it he's so pleased with himself. The kid keeps getting electrocuted but like,, by his own body. House is avoiding his parents but Cameron n Wilson aren't letting him get away with it. I love house n Wilson's friendship so much it's worth 5k apparently lmao. These patients are fukin serial liars jc why are ppl like this, it was rADIATION wow houses dad is a fucking DICK. There were so many good interactions and the house/wilson ship is sailing Ep6: there was a cyclist who took a LOT of drugs which turned out to be curing him of the thing he had, house is a douchebag but we all knew that - he may b a dick to mark but m sure mark deserves it n I love him anyway. Wilson remains a sweet boy even if he cheats idgaf he's adorable look at him ((wilson: i net someone who made me feel funny, me: was it hOUSE)),, he n house are balcony buddies and house shud stop stealing his food, and he should definitely stop digging thru stacys life but actually fuck it why not he's not gunna let go of this why is she so pissy i wanna know Ep7: I love houses new pet rat Steve McQueen,, Wilson is 4000% done with houses Stacy related antics which is fair tbh he should stop but I actually don't give much of a shit about Stacy I've taken against her....he did deserve what she said after reading her file tho. The patient may have given Cameron aids and Cameron got high and slept with Chase, who she may have given aids lmao these ppl r messes but not as much of a mess as that father/son relationship jc...i dont remember anything else about the patient whoops Ep8: chase is being suuuueeeeddd and he keeps lying about why lmao,, house fuckin reamed him one which was probably called for but maybe not like that, turns out chase screwed up cus his dad died and foreman is houses boss ((supervisor)) now how well do u think that's gunna work (((not very))) Stacy's still a bitch and has ~~feelings~~ Ep9: foreman is in charge and house is doing his utmost best to be the dick of the year and it's fucking hilarious honestly I love this man the shit he pulls jc,,, Wilson is super aware of houses antics as usual and had a mild gay panic when foreman started to question him about house,, the patient was a big ol Faker™ but surprise surprise she was actually sick this time ((house totally injected her with a load of stuff so she’d b readmitted after they’s released her)) Ep10: house solved a case thru the phone alone and spent most of the ep at the airport except for those five minutes when he almost slept with Stacy who once had a terrible experience with curry apparently and called house a vindaloo, nice restraint very well timed phone call thank fuck,,, they will sleep together tho and I am Not Happy about it....the power play amongst the fellows is a boiling pot of trouble - the patient was v interesting I enjoyed the word scramble game Ep12: WHAT A GOOD FUCKIN EP so the patient orgasmed in the white chamber while unconscious and covered in burns but more importantly house gatecrashed the lecture of his old archenemy that he had arranged just so he could disturb it and criticise the dude who got him thrown out of med school for snitchin on his cheating all whilst Wilson told him to get better hobbies (('a hooker anything please')),, to test this dudes migraine meds he gave deliberately himself a migraine and the meds didn't work (unsurprising) so the fellows turned out all the lights while he had a nap under the table,, wilson took a diff approach and deliberately made a Lot of noise because he is a Shit even if he hides it better than house,,,, then house dropped a tab of acid and took a bunch of antidepressants, and cured his migraine as well as the patient Ep13: houses leg was super duper sore but at least we got some fantastic house/wilson interaction when wilson pretended to be God during that MRI, even if house hit him with a cane.... The patient was a teen supermodel who seduced her own father to get whatever she wanted,, house was super sure she had cancer and it turns out she did but it was testicular because she had xy chromosomes and was immune to testosterone - which was really fucking interesting...... Also cuddy played house like a violin and gave him placebo saline instead of a morphine shot to prove to him that his leg pain was psychological Ep14: House is stealing organs now. Ok so technically he did get the husband's permission to steal his newly dead wife’s heart for the dying old dude with a strangely young daughter but only after he kneed house in the balls super hard. House spent the whole ep goin on at wilson about the affair he thought he was having and at the end wilson showed up on houses doorstep but sURPRIse !! It was his wife who was sleeping around!! poor baby Wilson I know what goes around comes around but he's such a kicked puppy cmon Ep15: Wilson and house living together is a recipe for disaster and I'm living for it so good so many good interactions I love that house is gunna keep him for his food ((I'll never b over house hearing the voicemail about Wilson's new place, looking over at him sleeping on the couch and then deleting it so he has to stay)). The patient had a super cool marriage and didn't have lupus except whoops actually not a happy marriage his wife is tryna kill him thru gold poisoning. House needs to stop accosting ppl in bathrooms and should also stop destroying marriages Ep16: oh man good shit so,, first of all house n Wilson are still living together and there are some Domestic Antics happening right here including but not limited to a prank war which house desperately tried to get Wilson to participate in, the peak of which had house making Wilson wet the couch and Wilson sabotaging houses cane. The patients mum was ridiculously overprotective and house essentially kidnapped the patient to find the tick noone else thought was there,, surprisingly Wilson helped set that up despite the fact house was the reason he woke up wet that morning Ep17: first things first house could absolutely clean everyone out at poker if he knows Cuddy's tells that well through just a phonecall,, also he needs to stop calling Wilson out on his toenail varnish habits lmao. The patient was a smol boy who presented the same symptoms as an unsolved and dead case that house had 12 yrs ago so he really wasn't gunna let this one go cus he's like a dog with a bone. They were in formal wear all ep which was a Good Look™ and Wilson's retelling of how he won the poker championship may have been one of the cutest things I have ever seen Ep18: Emma from Glee is here and she has the black plague,, her gf decided to donate her liver n Cameron was all het up cus house had worked out plague girl was gunna leave her and sending the gf in blind would be ~~unethical~~ but turns out she knew and deliberately did that so Emma would stay with her out of guilt lmao. In other news Cameron's pissy cus foreman 'stole' her article and house spent most of the episode napping cus wilson is fuckin up his sleep cycle ;) I'm upset there was no physical wilson Ep19: the most annoying patient so far appears in the form of a 15 yr old faith healer with herpes. I feel like the degree to which unrelenting niceness irritates me rly says something about me but eh oh well. Chase (ofc it was chase) kept a tally on who was winning God or house, faith healer managed to shrink a womans cancer tumour through giving her herpes (((a miracle praise be))) and during poker night house called wilson out on sleeping with said cancer patient and discovered wilson was actually living with her whoops bad Wilson ((he totally regrets his life choices ((he should)))) Ep20: HOLY SHIT ITS A TWOPARTER AND FOREMANS GUNNA DIE !! Ok so,,, there was this cop who couldn't stop laughing till he could but then it got a lot worse and then foreman caught whatever it was which they began to realise when he smirked as house shot a corpse to see what a bullet in a brain would do to an MRI ((spoilers it broke the machine)) anyway long story short it wasnt the pigeons and the cops dead and foreman is gunna die even after that shitdick move he pulled where he stabbed Cameron with a needle so she'd go to the apartment Ep21: HOO BOY OK SO a lot happened so much happened the most important thing is foreman by the end of the ep is mostly kind of ok - he's just a bit muddled on his lefts n rights. During the ep house was stressed the entire time cus even tho he denys it he does love n care for his ducklings,, he even cares enough to deliberately attempt to poison Steve McQueen which didn't work but can be added to the list of stressful events. Cameron grew a spine a lil bit I literally yelled when she berated cuddy and she forced the biopsy cus foreman had the foresight (ayyyyy) to make her his medical proxy even if house managed to find the problem anyway so it was ultimately unnecessary and has just resulted in some possible brain damage Ep22: house keeps trying to pick a fight with foreman and failing because Foreman's all happy go lucky now, the patient was mad because of a thing and killed her baby accidentally on purpose, the music that played during the baby autopsy was super unnecessary and bizzare, and in the end the woman had cancer but she's refusing treatment cus of the baby guilt. Cuddy didn't have cancer, which we know because Wilson ((WILSON NOT HOUSE)) stole her dna and ran secret tests in the middle of the night, but it still wasn't a date Wilson despite what house said about skin lessions she was actually just going to attempt to use u as a sperm donor - have fun at the L-word marathon with house you big sad loser (I love u) Ep23: we meet an old house friend which is Super fun he is ridiculously naive and I love that he calls house g-man holy shit. House is now giving cuddy injections as part of a fertility treatment which is nice of him especially seeing as his leg was in a Lot of pain this ep,, like a LOT...he's self-injecting morphine now which is probably bad :/ house's friend's daughter was the patient at one point she pooped out her mouth gRoSs and house ran a paternity test n told the girl she was actually the dudes daughter ((except he was lYINg in support of his friend)) he does care Ep24: HOUSE GOT SHOT WHAT IS IT WITH THIS TEAM SUFFERING RN JC this was a very fun episode of 'guess when house is hallucinating', spoilers the answer is all the time the whole ep takes place in his head. That aside I absolutely loved the hospital gown/trainer combo (no I won't apologize) and the fact that house did almost none of his physio - instead relegating it to others which is....not how it works. The hallucinatory clinic patient was freaky deaky his eye exploded and so did his dick but dw cus to escape the hallucination house killed him ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what can u do. At the end house woke up n requested ketamine we'll see how that goes

Season 1

[normal-thoughts-official]

Do you have any hcs for Magnus taking ppl to pride for the first time? I kinda feel like he’d act as a guide for others, making sure everyone feels safe and happy during their first time. Like, I can picture him bringing daylighter Raphael out for the first time, showing Meliorn around (bc even though they’ve been around for a while, the Seelies don’t really do human stuff) and holding Alec’s hand while he looks around in amazement.

well surprise surprise this got very long. bet y’all never saw that coming

ok so i particularly love this ask because like, the idea of meliorn going to pride for the first time is a riot and i adore it

like seelie society has developed completely independently from mundane society in every way, hell, it existed before humans did. so there's absolutely no reason whatsoever to believe that their culture even has the concepts of gender of sexuality, and believing that it would be the same as modern western ones is just straight up anachronistic tbh

so like personally i hc that seelie society has no gender (and therefore no concept of sexuality in the way that we see it), so the idea of pride- doesn't even make sense to them, cuz there's no concept of these identities, much less a history of oppression that would bring forward the need to celebrate their resistance like there currently is

so meliorn would want to go just to like, see what that's like and what's it all about. and the whole time they're just following Magnus around and like, taking notes. hm, interesting, what is this trans thing again? ah yes, people who dont think their personality matches the one mundanes believe would be brought by their genitals. hm. fascinating. and Magnus is just like, laughing loudly and it's the best pride he's ever been to, because he knows how ridiculous queerphobia and cishetnormativity are, but meliorn can make that so clear in their words in a way thats just, like, fantastic to hear, you know? and they dont even mean to, but it's great all the same

plus meliorn actually does feel good because a lot of people look at them and smile broadly or even wave, especially younger people who are just like, in awe of them and Magnus, who are so unapologetically gnc and indisputably beautiful, and looking at them is just like, inspiring, you know? and Meliorn has never felt this admired and appreciated and they dont even fully understand why, they're just walking around in their usual clothing and leaf makeup and everyone is just like, in love with them. and it's nice. they can tell there's an edge of sadness to the whole thing, like how their normal everyday existence seems to be so shocking and refreshing for these people, but mostly they feel good about it

later they bring their findings to the other seelies - you know, the ones who dont usually leave the realm and are way less familiar with mundane culture(s) than they are - and the others are like. shut up. there's no way this is real. the shape of their genital defines what wavelength they are supposed to find appealing? this makes no sense. and meliorn's like "idk what to tell u buddy i literally physically can't lie" and they're like surely this is an elaborate prank

but anyway it's fun and nice and they enjoy it greatly and ask Magnus a lot of questions, and Magnus loves going with them more than anyone else because its just so fun and the way this is completely unnatural to them feels refreshing - Magnus doesnt have to explain why he feels the way he feels, for once, but rather he has to explain why people dont get that, and thats a good change tbh

okay onto other ppl im sorry for this tangent djdndjdndk RAPHAEL YES. god i just. okay i love the mental image of Magnus taking Raphael to pride aaaaaaaa

like okay first of all so many layeRS to make this emotional, okay. the fact that he's now a daylighter and can enjoy being out in the sun, the fact that this is a bright costumed parade and it kinda reminds him of the día de los muertos parade and makes him feel at home, the fact that he gets to celebrate and meet other ace ppl - just, so many good things going on here dundidmdi

and Raphael was kinda unsure about going because 1- pride can get pretty sexual at times, and while he gets it and doesn't mind other people's business, he doesn't want to be hit on or participate in that; 2- big crowd makes senses go craycray and it can get very overwhelming and he's scared of overload, plus it's just not his scene in general with huge parties and such. but a part of him does want to go and he's torn, so of course Magnus is immediately like "oh dear, don't worry, i can take you, i'll make sure it's good" and Raphael is like okay

so Magnus takes him and it's :') nice, because as always he’s just so attentive. disclosure i’ve only ever been to the São Paulo pride so i’m gonna go with how it works in here but im assuming it’s not that different in like, other places. also São Paulo currently has the biggest pride parade in the world along with NYC so you know, i think it’s influential at the very least

anyway so he finds a section that’s led by ace pride groups, one that’s considerably small (in number of ppl) and spacious, and it’s. nice. very nice. magnus makes it a point to paint the ace pride colors on raphael’s face (we deserve raphael in makeup tbh) and raphael is all like “it’s fine, it’s not like i’ll want to draw a lot of attention” (like he isn’t wearing the ace flag colors already) and magnus is like hush, let me have this, i want my boy to have a good pride experience. so raphael lets him and hides his smile and lets him, and it’s. cute okay

also idk why but i have the mental image of raphael seeing some other latino guy with some sign like. “i’m not your fetish” or something of the sort, and kind of tearing up because his whole life he’s been seen as this kind of sexual fantasy that couldn’t not be about sex, much less not be interested in it, and he feels seen. and it’s nice, okay

and as promised it’s not too overwhelming in matters of like people, tactile issues and such (there’s little magnus can do about the noise other than spell raphael to decrease his sensitivity so he doesn’t get overwhelmed, which is not ideal because it makes communication a bit harder between them, but he does it anyway if raphael asks him to), and if raphael gets tired, they can always turn into a corner and take a portal back home and cuddle the post-crowd jitteriness away. so it’s a success. and raphael hugs magnus later and thanks him and says that it was so great, that he’s missed this, the energy and the colors and the sun, and he never thought he’d get to have it again, and he did thanks to magnus. and magnus hugs him back and tells him “anything for you, my boy,” and it’s the sweetest thing okay im emo

also okay this still falls under Raphael and Meliorn but the POLYCULE okay, or at least saiaphaeliorn. like sign me the fuck up for the 4 of them together at pride, meliorn and magnus helping make some cute pride-themed makeup on the other 3, just aaaaaaaaa. maia looking absolutely gorgeous with her face framed in the bright bi colors, maybe a sunny dress with the trans flag colors? just because i think she’d look so cute in like, a mostly white dress with baby pink and blue details, okay. simon just paints the pan flag on his cheek but it’s still vibrant and cute and it suits him. and ghhghghghg meliorn delicately painting raphael’s face with colorful glitter..... effervescent, okay. just beautiful

and they get to hold hands in public and laugh and crack jokes and simon loves the music and the festival and raphael smiles fondly at him and maia singing along (him and meliorn definitely don’t know what the fuck they’re singing, but it’s okay because they’re clearly happy and that makes the two of them happy too) and just duahsdiahdaiuha soft okay. also they all get to experience meliorn’s takes on the whole thing and it’s fantastic and as usual meliorn gets raphael to laugh until he almost cries, and simon smiles brightly at the sight and gives meliorn a peck for their efforts, and just aaaaaaaa

in short they’re SOFT and i’m SOFT. and look yes i know that usually parades esp big ones are super crowded (lord knows the SP pride parade is an experience) but if in SP with 5 million ppl parading i could find sections with less people where you had enough space to walk holding hands and hear each other and not be overwhelmed, then i’m sure they can too, especially with magic and powers at their disposal. so i’m going to have this

also like. as much fun as this is for magnus (and it definitely is, it’s very nice to get to enjoy to be himself openly, and to bring kids there for their first time, and you know), it’s also bittersweet because like. he was there at stonewall, he was there for the first pride, you know? and apart from the obvious part where he lost so many friends who were there, there’s just. the very bad memories of the riots, because as important as they are and as much as he obviously doesn’t regret them, riots are hard, they are the language of the oppressed. he’s had to magically protect people from being shot by the police, he’s had to withstand trial by the Clave for using magic to shield the people from the tear gas and risking being seen, he’s had to save a lot of lives and he’s failed at it sometimes, too (i’ll always hc that he’s the reason neither Marsha nor Sylvia died during the riots and you can pry that away from my cold, dead hands). and he’s also seen it be whitewashed and lose some of its resistance and meaning, he’s seen Sylvia be booed at a later march when she spoke against imprisonment, and he’s seen so much be lost

and in that sense going to pride with alec later on might be his favorite, because it’s not like, a first time where he’s trying to get everyone to have the most fun they can and shit, you know? plus alec loves watching more than he does participating, he feels way too exposed in the crowded streets with so many openings and whatnot. but watching from a rooftop, where he has the best view, can still hear the sounds and enjoy the colors and the beauty of it from a distance? that’s perfect for him, and it’s a different experience

and magnus sits by his side as they watch, hand in hand, and reminisces about everything that he’s experienced after so many years, all the changes he’s seen, how he feels pride but he also feels loss and he feels old, and he fears what happens if pride’s history is forgotten, you know? and alec listens to him, listens to his version of this story, playing with magnus’ fingers and just enjoying the sound of his voice and the sight. and it’s nice. alec is always super attentive and enjoys hearing him talk and magnus can get lost in his memories unapologetically, you know? and it’s good

but that’s later on, of course, when they’ve already attended plenty together. for alec’s first pride he probably wants it to be like, perfect, so much so that alec has to tell him to slow down again, because of course magnus wants alec to have The Full Pride Experience, but alec would rather soak it up slowly than participate in a lot of stuff, anyway. magnus paints the rainbow flag on his cheek (one of the only occasions alec lets magnus put glitter on him, then promptly complains for the next three months because i swear that stuff is still on my skin, magnus, the other day i found some on my shoes! and magnus laughs at his antics as always and alec is forced to laugh too and can’t even be mad) and they kind of stay more by the end, and alec is kind of smiling in disbelief to himself the whole time as he watches all the colors and the unapologetic way people express their pride, and magnus can’t stop looking at him and grinning, too. and they walk hand in hand and it’s cute

(later, magnus says, see, mundane culture isn’t so bad, is it? and alec looks at him with a way more serious look, full of joy and happiness, and says, no, it isn’t. and kisses him and thanks him for everything, and it’s sweet)

also I'm soft thinking about Magnus reminiscing about planning the first pride along with "his dear friend Brenda" to Alec and/or Raphael, them putting their arms around his shoulder as he tells them the softer stories, too, the good things they did

small bonus: Magnus plays 2 truths and a lie with Simon regarding his memories of past prides, and Simon gets it wrong every time and is all wide eyed by the end, which makes both Magnus and Raphael laugh :)