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#i do not speak for the entire fandom and i never want to. i just have my opinions and Thoughts. positive and negative.
mushroomsie224 · 4 months
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Suddenly remembered a headcanon of mine from a while back about how Cedric rarely, if ever, drinks around people because of how embarrassing he gets. He's already treated as a joke, imagine if he made a fool of himself when drunk...but he probably drinks alone in his tower sometimes. Never in the workshop, of course...he made that mistake once and that's the last time he's making it. I think he'd be the type to drink away his emotions.
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fitpacs · 3 months
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,
#i feel so helpless when i see people being so down on themselves#the community is definitely smaller now and i get why but for those that remain and continue to create#to think that it’s something they’re doing wrong - IT ABSOLUTELY ISN’T#and i wish i could do something to make everyone believe that#i wanna hug everyone and tell them how bright they still make this community - or what remains of it - still so cosy and lovely#whether it’s someone i don’t know in the tag or one of my friends it stings still#this community has some of the most exceptional talent i’ve ever seen -#talent in every form - and as someone that has gone through many fandoms and hate at their creations i tend to not look at numbers anymore#but i get it why people do - i get it SO MUCH#to not get the recognition - it hurts. i get it!#but i’ve learned over time that there are COUNTLESS ‘ghost readers’ or ‘ghost viewers’ that see and appreciate your work but just don’t-#interact with it - i was one of those people up until january this year!#my ao3 was already flooded with qsmp fics before i made this blog and i didn’t have the fitpacs account yet so didn’t leave kudos or anyth#but my point is - i get entirely why it’s easy to get wrapped up#i’ve been there but honestly - you are so appreciated#and i know me saying this makes no difference and i don’t expect to#but i love and appreciate this community with my whole heart#and whether you are someone i speak to a lot or we’ve never spoken at all - thank you for your beautiful creations#it’s a real shame how things went down behind the scenes obviously#but it’s so beautiful that so many people still have such passion to create#and if there is ANYTHING i can do to help build peoples spirits with regards to this please let me know#this community has done so much for me (more than you know) and i really want to give#something back
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I've been thinking about how I want to run this blog, and want to mention some changes that will be coming in 2023.
More below!
2022 was incredibly difficult for me, after losing two of my loved ones. My family heavily relied on my grandmother - and now that she passed, our financial and home situation has been going through hardships. Money is tight, and I am simply not happy living at my home anymore. I can't say I'm happy with my life at *all*.
In the midst of my grieving, I received my copy of Long Live the Pumpkin Queen. I was desperate to find some way to cope, and a way to distract myself while the world around me fell apart. I was unwillingly brought into a pointless online argument about this novel -- and it made me aware of something.
I don’t want to write analysis/discussion posts anymore.
I am still hyperfixated with TNBC, of course, and want to talk about it - but I don’t have the free time and motivation like I used to. When I first ran this blog, I was young and unhealthily obsessed with this movie - I would add long additions to posts I disagreed with. Back then, I would’ve jumped on the hateful bandwagon in response to Shea Ernshaw’s novel, but 2022 numbed me to the point where canonical inaccuracies don’t bother me like they used to. Apparently, this was not expected of me - and I was targeted for not being enraged like other fans were.
I’ve always tried to be thoughtful and open with my opinions, to engage respectful discussions about this movie + its lore. But not all people share this approach, and I’ve learned that the hard way. I’ve been involved in unnecessary Fandom Discourse™. I don’t have the time nor mental capacity for it anymore. I’m tired of being so attached to the TNBC canon that I let myself get genuinely upset when adaptations took different routes. It’s only hampered my mental health, so I’m done with it.
I’ll still post my thoughts/opinions about things, likely when The Battle for Pumpkin King comic releases, but don’t expect me to make long rants about canonical inconsistencies. I also won’t be responding to any venting asks or mentions anymore. They’re not my priority - and I’ll likely be sharing more memes than anything. But I no longer want to be super negative on this blog - I’ve always prioritized civil discussions, and my criticisms were never meant to be anything else. Keep in mind I’ve always been just one fan, who has my own opinions - and you’re never obligated to agree with them. Block me if you must, or just take my posts with a grain of salt. Curate your online experience. I’ll take no personal offense when you do this.
So, expect less analysis / thought posts from me in 2023. You can still send me your thoughts, ideas, headcanons, etc. - but my responses to them may be considerably shorter than they used to. I apologize in advance for this change - but I’m making this decision to look out for my mental health, and engage less in negativity.
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sorcerous-caress · 8 months
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I hope you are doing well
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Did I- Did I make it seem like I'm going crazy or something? Like yes I am okay, I promise.
Well, no. I lied, but I'm not worse than normal. I have always been this deranged. It is not out of the ordinary. Why the concerns now?
But thank you anyways, I hope you're doing well too.
#but also like I had 10 different people literally go through my entire catalog of writings and likes and read everything on multiple days#and not a single fucking comment or even a follow#my content is free yes but fuck it is irritating to watch someone consume it all and spend literal hours reading everything I have to offer#things that took me days to write#and they just leave after they're done? with nothing? not a thank you or a fuck you even?#to add insult to injury it's just the meme posts that get comments#sometimes I wanna pull the plug. remove everything I have ever written because no one deserves my effort#but I remind myself it's just the bpd and I'm not like this. these emotions aren't supposed to go this extreme.#then there is the mass effect blog where the sigle time someone sends any ask is to correct me about something they think I'm wrong at#and I remember how this is all started out of love. pure genuine love and passion#but it got reduced to content rather than art. I'm just tired#videogames are nice tho. characters are nice when I land a headshot#and I hate lying. i hate trying to stay inside this bubble of social politeness and never speak about what's effecting me#because it's not seen as cool to be honest with your audience. it's not professional for an artist to feel entitled to interactions#i am always like this. this isn't new. and I'm losing interest.#i will only write whatever fics left I've always wanted to write#do a couple requests then maybe it's time to turn the lights off#not saying I'll abandon this blog but I will definitely update slower and slower because I'm here because I love what I do. i love writing.#and when that love runs out I'll go do something else until another fandom pulls me in#Sol was nice. i love them and I will definitely keep them in my heart
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shararan · 10 months
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Types of comments I've gotten on my swedish fics after I started posting them:
I can't believe there's swedish fics in [fandom], and I liked it
I am learning swedish so it was really helpful to read something from [fandom]
I am so desperate for more of this pairing/trope that I put the entire thing through a translator
#and mind you i would marry all of the above i love them all#i sincerely NEVER expect to get even a single read hit on those fics#as theyre a different type of self indulgent than the way ships or tropes are#its a way of going nuts within my comfort zone and just not worry about the things i do when writing in english#which is a combination of the matter of fluency as well as different levels of rigidness in literary expectations#theres like 800 or something swedish fics total on ao3 which is larger than a few years ago like its a huge boost#but to put it mildly its not THE most sought out fic language#but english has definitely taken over as fandom language since many years now#and things dont get translated as much as back in the day cause ''well everyone speaks english so''#and i mean fine but i hated how my entire validity started to depend on english#it was enough that i risked losing access to basic education because i struggled learning it in school#didnt want to deal with fandom side eyeing anything non english on top of that#sdklkgsd MY POINT BEING it helps me to shake off expectations + get caught up in arbitrary numbers and let those affect my enjoyment#i dont care for clout generally but yeah writing swedish fics helps squash the beginnings of worrying that maybe i should#because no?? it literally does not matter???#im glad to bond with people and im happy when they enjoy my things#but its good to remind self regularly not to place ones self worth in the amount you have of it#IM RAMBLING WHAT ELSE IS NEW#sharan talks
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rheakira · 4 months
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I've come to temporarily break my hiatus to bring up something deeply important. Because after a recent event, if I have to go another day without talking about it, I don't know what I'll do.
Fandoms have an enormous issue when it comes to bigotry and people feeling comfortable enough to be openly bigoted.
And I want to make it clear: everyone is capable of it. In fact, most people do it more often than they don't. But because this strange myth has been built up that if you aren't "blatantly saying slurs" or "killing others" it can't possibly be bigotry, we have done nothing but become dangerous behind closed doors.
If your friend has odd beef with a person of color in the fandom and holds them to standards they don't hold their white friends to, that is bigotry. If your friend feels some sort of way about the trans person in your friend group and tries to come up with reasons for why they specifically can't stay, that is also bigotry. If your group insists that a person with a personality disorder is making it up just for attention and uses that as a reason for why they can't be around them, that is bigotry as well.
I've never been upfront about it because... why do I, as a human being, need to be upfront about my identity when people randomly decide what I am? But I am in fact a person of color who is queer and disabled. Whenever I join a fandom group that is mostly white people, I am liked until this is discovered. And then I watch as people get brutal about things I do or say. Things that they don't do to other people in the group, and I also watch as they take my words and either twist them for convenience or ruin my reputation for it.
As a marginalized person, both in fandom and out, you are held to a unique standard that does not apply to other human beings around you. It makes doing what you love very difficult, because unfortunately as a marginalized person, people will always subconsciously side with the person trying to oppress or attack you. This has happened to me my entire life, from school to work spaces to even internet spaces claiming to be safe places.
People will say that they care about you and like you and even form a friendly bond with you, but the moment a person of privilege decides they do not like you very much, they can and will side with the other person even without proof of their issues with you. It's exhausting and ruins lives in places that should be fun and safe.
I am on my umpteenth experience with this exact cycle and I would be lying if I said it didn't make me feel like I couldn't live or breath in places I should be allowed to be involved in. It's a very real problem that refuses to end because no one has the courage to challenge it. I am speaking not only on my own experiences, but for the many other people of color or queers or disabled people who simply cannot join these so called "safe spaces" because of our identities conflicting with people who have been taught that we are lesser and not worth love or care.
If this is a problem you face, please know that I see you and I love you. It's hard to keep surviving in a world that wants to hurt you and leaves you abandoned and alone. I want you to know that the world is scary, but we all exist. You should be allowed to experience joy and fun without feeling like you're being suffocated and wanting to die.
You matter. The people around you that make you feel like you don't are nothing by comparison. You matter and I truly hope that we'll one day find each other and become the safe space that we deserve.
The marginalized people in your fandom are more important than your fictional characters and plotlines that you put above us. We're here and we're not leaving. Learn to live with us and protect us.
If we're truly your friends, you would care when your privileged "friends" want to remove us.
Additionally, please do not take this rant and make it only about white people who are part of these marginalized categories. This is a post about EVERYONE. Including the people of color around you. Do not remove us from this conversation. Care about ALL OF US if you support this at all. Thank you.
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jinkicake · 2 years
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HSHDHSHD HI AGAIN I JUST SAW UR CHILDE AND SCARAMOUCHE ARRANGE MARRIAGE POST AND I GO SJGNFNFNFNDNNFNDNG THE WAY U WRITE ARRANGE MARRIAGE TROPES>>>>>>/lh UR WRITTING IS SO GOOD!! I ALWAYS COMEBACK AND RE READ IT EVERYTIME AND I JUST REALIZED U ALSO WRITE FOR OBEY ME?! AND UR WRITING IS THE FIRST FEW ONES I'VE READ AFTER I JOIN THE OM FANDOM TOO?!👀💖💐
Ps. Would u mind if I request a 2nd part for the arrange marriage aus for the first fews chars (esp. Perrio👀) if nit they it's fine <33 thx u for creating such an amazing content!!💖💖
Forced / Arranged Marriage Trope
(pt. ??) Alhaitham, Dottore, Pierro, Zhongli x Reader
fem!reader bc I like the use of ‘wife’
A/N: hi anon!! thank you for being so patient w me and for being so sweet </333 T T i hope you like this~~ if you want me to do part2 for anyone else let me know!! I only did it for zhongli and pierro teehee bc i also wanted to add alhaitham and dottore (i hope that is alright~~)
WC - 3.2k
- yandere!dottore  // dottore is his own warning -
NSFW // LIGHT SMUT (pierro+zhongli)
~~~
Alhaitham
“I will be home after sundown, habibti." Alhaitham places a gentle hand on your shoulder after he stands up from his chair at the dining room table. He lowers his head with a slight dip of his neck to place a kiss on the crown of your hair. “Be good today.” 
And then he is gone. 
Months have passed since your husband began staying late after work. You don’t understand it in the slightest, he hates doing unnecessary tasks. The entire time you’ve known him, courting and beyond, Alhaitham has always spared time in his day for his interests. One day, he even told you that his favorite part of each day was settling down to read. He likes to live a carefree and relaxed lifestyle, so staying late in the Akademiya seems like the complete opposite of that. 
Regardless, you bear the weight of your suspicions and ignore it. 
You focus on being the docile wife you were advertised as and focus on your housework. In truth, your arranged marriage could not have gone any better. Despite your parents parading you around, you somehow found the most laid-back candidate who suited your needs to a t. Every night you thank the Lesser Lord Kusanali for such a kind husband, who lets you come and go as you please. You would have probably hired a hit on your parents, as opposed to never speaking with them again, if they married you away to a cruel man. 
However, housework only keeps you busy for so long and before you know it, it is ten am and you have finished everything that you wanted to do for the day. You could go bother your husband’s old roommate or have a meal with your friend but, you notice that Alhaitham left his lunch today. The neatly prepared and packed lunch is still sitting on the counter where you left it. He must have forgotten to grab it. 
With ignorance only Alhaitham could have installed in you, a result of keeping you in the dark for so long, you head toward the Akademiya. However, you regret it once you speak with his co-workers. 
“Alhaitham is not here today.”
“Your husband? He didn’t come in this morning,”
“I heard he was heading to Port Ormos after speaking with the Gauhar.”
Through your dejection, you braced a kind smile and thanked them all before heading back home. What could your husband possibly be going to the port for? He’s not a student anymore, there’s no reason for him to be going there. 
Unless someone else is there. 
You stubbornly try to shake that negative thought out of your head as you walk through the marketplace. As if Alhaitham would commit something of adultery, he doesn’t show interest in anything or anyone. 
Perhaps, you will have to speak about this with him when he returns home. 
Returning home that night was not something Alhaitham did. In fact, he did not return back to you for two nights and only appeared on the third morning of his disappearance. 
To say that you were upset would be an understatement and your husband was able to see it the second he walks in through the door. 
“(Y/N), I know I have been gone-”
“Where have you been?” You don’t give him the chance to begin with the sorry apologies as you cross your arms over your chest, you get straight to the point. 
“It was for the Akademiya, I cannot discuss the matters with you and you know this.” He sounds sincere enough, there’s a tiredness to his words that you can’t pinpoint. “I wanted to check in with you before I returned.”
“Check in with me?” You scoff and start to look at him as if he had grown three heads. “Check in with me before returning to your mistress?” 
“My mistress?” Alhaitham raises a subtle brow and keeps a straight face despite the amusement growing in his chest. 
“Why else have you been gone so long? Staying out so late? I’m not a fool and personally, I don’t care about who else you see.” You lie straight through your teeth, lie until you choke. Alhaitham sighs before stepping closer toward you. 
“I really cannot share the details of this assignment just yet, you have to believe me, habibti.” He gently cups your shoulders, giving the area a soft squeeze before soothingly running over the planes of your back. “Listen to me when I say that I would never think of betraying you so cruelly.” And, before you have a chance to react, Alhaitham lowers his face to brush his lips against your ear. Vulnerability spills through his every word. “Please do not act so indifferent about the matter of us, I want you to care as freely about me as I do you.”
Smoothly, his hand cups your face and tilts you his way. 
“No matter what thoughts you may come up with on your own, trust the logic that I love you.”
Dottore
“The Doctor will return from his mission sometime next week, perhaps during the beginning of the new moon-”
During the message personally delivered from your husband by a trusted subordinate, you can’t help but audibly groan. 
“Why must he ruin my entire week with his presence? Did he specifically plan to return on Monday? Why couldn’t he have come back the following Saturday or Sunday?” You place your pen down with great irritation and with it, the notebook you were writing in slams shut. The large Fatui soldier stares down at you, quite flabbergasted by your actions. At the lack of response from your maids, he continues. 
“Well, The Doctor wanted to spend some time with you before his next mission-”
“You’re kidding?” This time, you stand up and slam your palms against the strong wooden desk. Hatred and frustration flow through your veins, nearly choking you by your throat. “When you receive word that he is on his way, within a day away from me, then you will come back here and tell me. Understand?” You and your shorter frame could not nearly pose up to the Vanguard standing before you but, given the status of your esteemed husband, you can speak with him and any other solider of your choice however you want.
“Yes, my lady.” He offers a respectful bow before leaving your office and does not flinch under the intensity of your unwavering glare. 
“My day is ruined.” You hum and try to calm yourself down by rolling out your shoulders. Within an instant your close friends (the maids assigned to you by your beloved) are by your side, offering you their condolences and support. “We must prepare for the torture that his arrival is ensured to bring. Where are my earplugs?” 
Each day that follows, you work alongside other members of the house to prepare the cozy home that your husband chooses to reside in. Cozy is a cute way of describing it, this castle that hides within the mountains is anything but cozy. It’s large and empty but, you rather enjoy all the empty space that provides shelter when you’re hiding from your husband. 
In the midst of your breakfast later in the week, you’re interrupted by another announcement. 
“My lady, The Doctor will arrive-”
“What do you want?” You scowl and push your plate away, lowering your utensils before standing up from your chair. Now, just like your week and the ones that follow, your meal is ruined too. “I do not care when that wretched vermin will arrive. Tell me when he is here and leave me alone.”
“That is the thing, my lady, he is here early.” As one of the Legionaries beside the previous Vanguard steps to the side, your husband moves in front of you. He stands tall on the other side of the long dining room table and you have half a mind to sprint for the door. “I did not have time to issue the previous warning you asked for.”
“Warning? Is that how you speak of me when I am not around?” Dottore tilts his head slightly before slowly walking around the table. You try not to shake as he corners you, hands braced behind his back. “Oh? Where has your attitude gone? Down the drain with your fight?” 
He doesn’t have to remove his mask for you to see the sneer on his face, the anger that is sure to be littering his features. 
“Dear,” You nervously greet him, offering a pathetic smile that does little to hide your nerves. 
“Sweetheart,” He greets back just as gently but, you can see the tension in his shoulders. “I must confess that I was thinking we would spend time with one another before my next trip to Sumeru but, now I'm not so sure.” 
But? You mentally pray and pray to the Tsaritsa that he changes his mind and ditches you altogether, that he leaves you alone again for months on end. Anything would be better than facing his wrath. 
“I don’t think we need to see one another for a while.” He waits for you to let out the breath you were holding in, to sigh in relief, before gripping your jaw with his gloved hand. “I think it would only be fair since you’ll now be coming with me to Sumeru. We can spend the entire trip together, side by side. Finally, you’ll be able to see my work up close and not just from your timid frame in the lab doorway.”
You can’t hide the way your lip begins to quiver, eyes filling with tears. That is the last thing you would ever want. 
“Aren’t you excited, my wife? You must be since you’re near bursting into tears!” He mocks you until your soul breaks, until the farthest place you could ever be from him is no longer far enough. “If this is how you act when we are apart then, you will never be from my side ever again.”
Pierro
“You are a blessing,” Pierro murmurs lowly as his hands delicately sculpt your sides, gently he presses into your skin with his thick fingers. “a divine creation.” Like this, he worships you. His lips lightly trail between the valley of your breasts as he ascends up your body. “Hundreds of years have passed since I’ve felt this alive.”
Pierro slowly drags his lips up your throat and over your jaw to hover above your lips. His breath fans your chin, teasing you with his close proximity. He laughs when you tilt your chin in an attempt to kiss him, but it fails. 
Regardless of how you care for your husband outside of your shared bedroom, you always love him inside of it. 
“Please,” Your quiet voice sounds like a melody to the older man and he nearly sighs at the sweet tone. This is all he has ever desired, you wanting and yearning for him. He knows his words will never be enough to get this point across, ever.
With a light hand, the man brushes any lingering strands of your hair out of your face. He stares down at you with lust-filled eyes before cupping your jaw with his large palm. Subtly, Pierro tilts your face upward and meets your lips in a passionate kiss. As he presses his mouth against your own, applying just the correct amount of pressure, his thumb gently strokes your cheek. It’s a sweet kiss, one that leaves you breathless and wanting more. 
Before he can catch himself and reel in his self-restraint, Pierro cups your breast. Your arms loop around his neck, digging your fingers into his broad shoulders as he fondles and squeezes at your chest. The constant stimulation only makes you greedier for more and your hips create a mind of their own as you roll slowly upwards against his pelvis. 
“My wife,” Pierro groans, pulling away momentarily to catch his breath. His voice sounds shaky as he tries to fight back the overwhelming desire to just take you right now. “enough, before you make me do something I’ll regret.”
The first of the eleven Fatui harbingers thinks he has himself under control finally, that he will be able to continue but then you glance up at him. In your young eyes, mischief shines brighter than the life in his own. 
“It’s alright if I don’t regret it, don’t you think?” And then you kiss him once more. You yank roughly on his neck, catching him off guard, and pull him down again. 
The growl that leaves your husband is animalistic. His sharp reflexes snap at your wrist, pinning you effectively to the bed without much room to move. The kiss of his lips, once sweet, turns possessive and greedy as he presses you into submission. With little fight, you obediently fall right into his open palms with your lips parting at the slightest jut of his tongue. 
Skillful hips roll against your own, Pierro’s hard cock grinds into your clothed cunt and the sensation against your sensitive clit makes your eyes roll to the back of your head. When you start failing to kiss back, Pierro makes his attack. He squeezes your wrists and shoves his tongue into your mouth, swallowing and taking all that you will give him. Your thighs are beginning to burn against the stretch of being spread for his muscular waist but, the pain is dulled over at each slot of his hips. 
Your pitiful whimper pulls him from his conquest and Pierro remorsefully separates himself from your lips. 
“I need you,” Your whisper does not fall deaf on his ears, Pierro hears every single word. No matter how much you make fun of the older man, poking at his true age, he’s sharpened every one of his skills beyond their years. 
“I know, my beloved, I know what you need.” His hands make you sigh out loud as they run up and down your waist, breathy moans leave your lips. “Do you understand the affection that I hold for you? Are you aware of the effect you have on me?” Pierro closely watches your reaction, stares as you keep your eyes closed and don’t so much as flinch at his words. You simply hum and lay like a blessing against his sheets. Now, the older man lowers his lips to your stomach and presses his mouth into your skin. He gently creates a path to the band of your panties with each kiss getting heavier than the last. 
“One day, you will understand the true extent of my feelings.”
Zhongli
Lately, you’ve been worried about your husband. Your concerns are nothing new or anything revolutionary but, you can’t speak about it to your friends or others who are unaware of his godly status. To deal with the matter, you sought out the one person you could discuss the matter with, one of the people who know him better than you do. 
“I’m worried about Zhongli,” You sit patiently at the stone table, in your husband’s seat as you confess your inner feelings to the cloud retainer. 
“Zhongli?” The bird rolls her eyes, tasting the name on her tongue before it clicks. “Morax. What is there to be concerned about? Foolish girl, he adores you.” The cloud retainer raises a judgmental brow at your timidness as she pours you a cup of tea. She sits down with an elegance that makes you feel small in her presence. Still, you proceed. 
If any of the adeptus are going to listen to you, it’s her. If there is a single one that you can trust, it is her. 
“Isn’t that the problem?” Truthfully, you have been worried about the upcoming and unforeseen future. You’re always worried about it. Not that you will disappear soon but, mortal lives are nothing compared to that of an adeptus. How will he fare when you pass? How can you prepare him for it? “What will happen to him when I inevitably-”
The aged bird cuts you off before you can even finish your sentence. 
“Speaking of such circumstances when they are nowhere in the near future will only come back to bite you.” Cloud retainer quietly sips at her drink, leaving a few moments of silence between the two of you before she sighs. “Fully cherish the time you have with him, that is the only piece of advice I can offer you.”
And that is as far as you go with her on the matter, the conversation was over.
Still, in your heart, you weren’t satisfied with the answer.
It continued to bug you even as you tried to ignore it, even as you tried to cherish the time you have with the immortal. 
“How are you today, my dear?” Every single day when he returns, Zhongli finds you and presses a delicate kiss on your cheek. It’s a kind gesture that always makes you melt into the palm of his hand. 
It also, more often than not, always leads to something else. Something more intimate. 
“Would you forgive me if I said that I missed you today,” Zhongli’s low voice fills your senses and clouds your mind, leaving you barely unable to think. Now pressed into the couch with your husband over top of you, protectively holding your thighs over his hips, all you can do is take everything that the god has to give you. “I’m often missing you when you are away.” 
His pure confessions make your gut twist in an uncomfortable way. 
“Will you be okay when I am no longer here?” You whisper, letting the words spill into his ears as you hide your face in his neck. 
Zhongli stops his movements. The gentle, smooth thrusts of his hips come to a standstill as his hands lower from your thighs. He places a palm beside your head and pulls back enough that he can look at you. 
“I will never be the same without you.” The raw emotion in his features and the distinct vulnerability in his eyes cause tears to well up in your eyes. “But, I will continue to live. Your memory will keep me alive until we can be reunited again.” His gentle touch comes up to wipe at your tears as his thumbs brush over your cheeks. “I don’t want you to be worried about that just yet, okay, my gem?”
Softly, Zhongli presses his lips against yours and it muffles the sob that leaves your lips. 
You tighten the grip that you have on his biceps, digging your fingers into his skin as your lips open for his tongue. 
“I love you, I will always love you forever.” He murmurs into your cheek before kissing over your eyelids. Smoothly, his hips pick up a slow pace once more and you gasp loudly. The sound makes your husband laugh, gently shaking as he presses his forehead against your own. “If I had my way, we would have met earlier and you would never part from my side.” 
In every touch, he portrays how much he loves you. There is an ‘I love you’ in the press of his fingers against your hips. There is an ‘I love you’ in the skillful roll of your hips and there is an ‘I love you’ in the gentle kiss of his lips. 
Yes, Zhongli is sure he will always love you. Even through grief and mourning, he will never forget the feeling of loving you. 
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ofstarsandvibranium · 4 months
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Precious Truths: Part 6
Fandom: Bridgerton
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x F!Reader
Summary: After your father finds out you’ve been writing under a male pseudonym, he threatens to marry you off to an atrocious man unless you find yourself a husband within a month’s time.
A/N: I will not be taking tags for this series!
Series Masterlist
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Benedict follows you and Lord Montclair with a frown on his face. He seems to love to torture himself when he agreed to accompany Daphne as she chaperones your promenade with the marquess.
His eyes glance down to your arm hooked around the other man's and his brows furrow. Daphne looks up at her brother with a smirk, "Something the matter, brother?"
Benedict suddenly looks away clearing his throat, "No, no. Just, um, thinking about a piece I need to work on."
Daphne hums unconvinced, looking back at you and Lord Montclair, "They do make a handsome couple, do they not?"
"I suppose," Benedict replies as he casts his eyes down, paying more attention to the path rather than you and the marquess.
"Are you upset with me?" Daphne asks, pulling her arm away from her brother's and stopping to look at him.
Benedict looks at her with confusion, "Should I be?"
She purses her lips, "Well, I was the one who introduced the marquess to Y/N and considering your feelings-"
"Please, Daphne, I already endure this from Anthony and Kate. I do not wish to hear more of it from you," he takes a quick glance your way as the distance grows wider between you and he, "I may love her, but I cannot give her what she desires. He can," he nods to Lord Montclair.
Daphne sighs, hooking her arm around her brother's once more, "Regardless, I cannot imagine this being easy for you."
The second eldest Bridgerton sighs, "'Tis not. Hopefully, with time, it will be."
_____________________________
You hide your laughter behind your fan as you walk the path with Lord Montclair. He relays a memory he had of when he was a boy. How he tried to capture a frog and in his attempts, it jumped on his face, causing him to fall into a lake.
"That reminds me of when I was a child. I was probably two and ten years old. Be-I mean Mister Bridgerton and myself decided to sneak away onto a row boat. We had seen a fish into the lake and leaned over the edge too much. We both fell in. Our mamas were so upset with us, but we had a good laugh," you state with a giggle.
Lord Montclair chuckles, "So you have known the Bridgertons for a while?"
You nod, "Almost my entire life. They are like my second family."
"And you are the closest with the second eldest, Benedict?" the marquess asks with intrigue as he guides you to a bench for some rest.
You nod, following him to sit, "Yes. He is my dearest of friends."
Lord Montclair clears his throat, leaning closer to you, "I do not want to seem too forward, Miss L/N, but I think I have made my interest quite clear. Is it safe for me to assume that there are no romantic feelings between you and Mr. Bridgerton considering," he gestures between you and him.
You cast your eyes towards Benedict, who is now entertaining two women in conversation while Daphne speaks with their mama. You feel a twinge of jealousy as the women laugh with Benedict. No. You shouldn't feel this way. He is not yours. He never will be.
You turn back to Lord Montclair and give him a small smile, "I can assure you, my Lord, there is nothing between Mister Bridgerton and myself except for friendship."
Happy with your response, Lord Montclair changes the subject and shares another story of his youth. You nod, smile, and laugh at the appropriate times, occasionally glancing back at Benedict. Every once in a while, your eyes will meet and then look away. Your heart strings tug a little more with each wavering gaze.
It seems you like to torture yourself since you cannot help but keep your eyes away from Benedict entertaining women that wasn't you.
_______________
After your promenade and lunch with Lord Montclair and the Bridgertons, you arrive home to see your father waiting for you.
His eyes were glossy and his body slightly swaying, signifying that he was already drunk once more.
"I heard a marquess is courting you," he practically mumbles out.
"Yes, papa. I am certain he will propose before the end of the month," you respond plainly, no emotion and no love for the man who you are now unfortunate to call your father.
He hums, "And does he know of your...hobbies?"
"He only knows I enjoy reading poetry, not writing it."
"Good. A man does not want a woman who is too well-read."
You bite your tongue, not wanting to suffer from a potential strike to your face like previously, "Of course, papa." You dryly reply and head to your room.
You proceed to isolate yourself for the rest of the day. Although Lord Montclair is exactly the man many women would kill to have court them, you still cannot find yourself to fall for him completely. You don't think you ever could. You've lived a majority of your life loving Benedict Bridgerton, you aren't sure how else to live. Even if Benedict could never love you back, you will still continue to hold him dear in the depths of your heart for you and only you to know.
You didn't lie to your father that you are sure Lord Montclair will propose soon. He had spoke of marriage, children, just your potential future in general. Both of your desires and goals line up perfectly with one another and you are certain he sees it to.
Now only to mentally prepare yourself for the inevitable.
________________
Benedict's heart drops to his stomach when he hears the news from Daphne: Lord Montclair plans to propose to you soon.
Obviously, he knew it was bound to happen. Of course he would propose to you. You, perfect, beautiful, intelligent, cunning, funny, wonderful you.
It was inevitable and it was becoming even more real that Benedict would lose you forever.
It was then that Benedict decided to drown himself in his art. Go to parties, brothels, bars, whatever he can as much as possible to forget the pain in his heart.
If only he wasn't so stubborn and truly listen to his heart and his family. He could be with you and give you everything you want and deserve.
But alas, he was just too blind and hard headed to see it.
Lady Whistledown, however, made it well known to the Ton of how she as well as a majority of Mayfair, expected him and you to marry.
__________________
Two weeks. It took two weeks of courting until Lord Montclair asked your father's permission to marry you. It was an easy "yes" from him, obviously. With the status of being the marquess and willing to pay well over your dowery, well, how can your father refuse?
Even though you were expecting it, you still felt hesitant. Your aunt joined you in the sitting room, watching as Lord Montclair, James, as you learned his name was, knelt down and presented his mother's beautiful ring.
"Mon cher, you have made me so incredibly happy these past few weeks. I think we can have an amazing future together. Will you do the honor of marrying me?"
You know you should say yes. But your mind immediately goes to Benedict. Your best friend, your first love, the man you saw yourself marrying and growing old with. But he didn't feel the same. If he did, he would've courted and proposed to you by now.
It was officially time to let go of your silly fantasies and face reality.
"Yes, of course," you reply breathlessly and James slips the ring onto your finger.
Aunt Eliza lets out a breath of relief, "I am so incredibly happy for you two! I plan to hold a ball in your honor at the end of the week, so be prepared for the fan fair that will be headed your way."
James takes your hand and kisses it, "I shall go. I must begin contacting my family so they can be here for the wedding."
"Of course, my Lord."
James smiles at you sweetly, "You may call me James now, mon cher."
You return a sweet smile back, "Of course, James. Then you may call me Y/N."
"I will see you later, future Marchioness Montclair," he gives you a wink and heads out.
You look down at the ring, the diamond sparkling in the sun. Your aunt rushes to your side and kisses your temple, "You did it, dear. You did it. You will be free soon enough."
You gulp and nod at your aunt, "Yes. I will be free."
____________________
Dearest Gentle Reader,
It seems that wedding bells are to be heard soon with now the engagement of Miss Y/N L/N and the Most Honorable Marquess, Lord James Montclair. The marquess had turned many heads since his arrival with Duchess Bridgerton. Many ladies of the Ton had hoped for a courtship from him. However, it was quite the surprise that our very own Miss L/N, one who has previously rejected the idea of marriage, set her sights on the marquess and lured him with her charm.
As I am sure many of you are disappointed by the engagement, I am certain no one is as disappointed as the second eldest Bridgerton son, Benedict Bridgerton. For we all knew those two were always at each other's side. This author thinks that perhaps the second eldest never proposed to Miss L/N because he knew he could never provide for her as a second son.
Nevertheless, I do look forward to see how Miss L/N will take to the role of marchioness. Will she crack under pressure or will it be smooth sailing? This author waits in anticipation.
Benedict crumples up Lady Whistledown's newest edition, tossing it across the room. His family's eyes are all on him.
His heart rate quickens, he feels a sweat coming on. The walls are closing in and he can't breathe. He doesn't like how his family looks at him with pity. They all know now. They know how he feels for you. There is a chance know how he feels for you now. A part of him hopes that you don't believe what Whistledown has to say. Not everything she says is always factual. Nevertheless, it makes the Ton talk.
"Excuse me," he abruptly stands from his place and Anthony stands with him, "Brother-"
"Please, don't. I need a moment alone," Benedict quickly says as he rushes out of the room.
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fluentmoviequoter · 7 months
Text
We're Getting Married Now?
Requested Here!
Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!LAPD!reader
Summary: When Tim finds out you need a fake boyfriend to take to your cousin's wedding, he steps up and offers to go with you. After a night in his arms, you learn that his "boyfriend act" isn't just an act.
Warnings: I referenced a few lines from The Rookie (no spoilers though), a few vague mentions of insecurities and rude family members (they apologize). lots and lots of fluff!! one bed trope?
Word Count: 4.3k+ words
Picture from Pinterest
Masterlist Directory | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List
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When your phone rings on the way to work, you don’t expect to see your aunt’s name on the caller ID. 
“Hello?” you greet. 
“Hey, sweetheart. I was going through the seating chart for your cousin’s wedding and seemed to have misplaced your RSVP,” she explains. 
“I, uh, I didn’t get an invite. She’s getting married?”
“Of course. You lot aren’t getting any younger, as I’m sure you know, and when she met her fiancé, well, I think we all knew. Anyway, you say you didn’t get an invite? Must’ve gotten lost in the mail, those incompetent kids aren’t as reliable as they used to be. I suppose that explains your lack of congratulations, though, which I’m sure everyone will be relieved to hear.”
“I bet,” you mumble before asking, “So what do you need from me? Sorry to interrupt, but I’m nearly to work.”
“Oh, yes, I’m sorry, I suppose the wedding planning is making me a touch scatter brained. All I need from you is a confirmation that you are attending. It’s at her fiancé’s family orchard, I’ll send you the address. Everyone is coming out Friday evening and the wedding is Sunday afternoon.”
“Uh, yeah, I have this weekend off. I may be a bit later on Friday, but I’ll be there.”
“And I’ll assume you’re still single, so no plus one. Although, sweetie, you really shouldn’t let this discourage you. I’m sure you have plenty going for you and the right man is out there somewhere,” she says, lowering her voice as pity laces every word. 
“Actually, I’ll be bringing my boyfriend. If there’s room for one more, of course.”
The words come out before you can stop them, and after you slam your gear shift up and set your brake, you grip your steering wheel with both hands. 
“Boyfriend? Well, good for you, sweetheart, I didn’t want to seem insensitive before, but your clock is ticking! I will put you down for two then. Oh, one more thing-“
“I’m actually at work and can’t be late. I’ll see you Friday,” you rush out before ending the call. 
Hitting the back of your head against the headrest, you wonder who you can ask on such short notice. Getting a fake boyfriend is entirely avoidable, of course. You’d have to tell another lie about him being sick or dumping you or call your aunt and explain that her constant jabs at your lacking love life pushed you to speak without thinking. 
“That would go well,” you murmur as you gather the strength to get out of your car. 
She’d probably say something like, “Well then he just wasn’t the one,” before telling everyone that you did something to get dumped, or she’d remind you that you’re running out of time, it’s practically too late, so you should stop trying. You don’t mind being single, but she rips you apart, finding a way to make it your fault for being too busy with work, unwilling to compromise, or “looking too chubby in red.” (Her words.)
As you walk into the station and change into your uniform, you are struck with the perfect idea. 
“Nolan!” you call, rushing to his side before he can enter roll call. “I need a favor.”
“Uh, yeah, I’ll do what I can,” he answers kindly. 
“Long story short I need a fake boyfriend to go to my cousin’s wedding or my aunt will expose me as a dirty rotten liar who can’t get a boyfriend.”
“Wow,” Nolan responds. “Does she really- never mind. When’s the wedding?”
“This weekend.”
“Bailey and I are going to San Diego to meet Henry for a few days. I’m so sorry, I’d help you if I could.”
“Yeah, no problem. Thanks anyway,” you tell Nolan while looking for someone else you can ask. “Aaron!”
Aaron turns in the doorway, stepping back toward you and Nolan with raised brows. 
“What’s up?” he asks. 
“I need a date, a fake boyfriend for a wedding this weekend.”
“I don’t do weddings.”
“Aaron, please,” you plead.
“Look, I’d love to help you, but my family’s got a big dinner thing this weekend and they rarely end well, so I’m booked.” He pats your arm and adds, “Hope you find someone who can help.”
You nod as he walks inside. Looking around the station, you realize your options are very limited. 
“Think Angela would let me borrow Wesley for a few days?” you ask Nolan. 
“Why don’t you just find someone to actually take as a date?”
“Because that’s the entire problem, Nolan. I can’t get a date.”
“I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”
As you follow him into roll call, you whisper, “I’m going to have to ask Smitty.”
Nolan stifles a laugh, shaking his head as he takes his seat. You tune Wade out after receiving your assignment for the day, glancing around the room as you try to find someone else you can ask. Maybe you should just cancel, tell your aunt that you’re the one who got sick, and now neither you nor your boyfriend can make it. 
Standing in the bullpen, you have your aunt’s contact pulled up on your phone but can’t seem to press the call button. 
✯✯✯✯✯
“Sergeant Bradford,” Nolan says. “I need some advice.”
“I already don’t like this, but go ahead,” Tim replies, resting his hands against his belt. 
“If a fellow officer, a close friend, was going to cancel going to a family member’s wedding because she couldn’t find a fake boyfriend to keep her controlling aunt off her back, would you help her?”
Tim doesn’t answer, turning away from Nolan. As he walks toward the bullpen, Nolan raises a fist in victory, hoping it works out for you and Tim. It’s clear to everyone that you have feelings for each other, but neither of you seems eager to do anything about them. Maybe this is the push you need to take the next step. 
✯✯✯✯✯
Tim’s hand covers your phone screen before he takes it from you, holding it by his side. 
“You need a fake boyfriend?” he asks. 
“Who told you? ... Nolan, I should’ve known not to trust him and his big mouth.”
“Who’s getting married?”
“My cousin,” you answer, pursing your lips in confusion about why he’s interested. 
“The cousin from the aunt that manipulates and belittles you every time you see her?”
“I’m still sorry for calling you that day, I shouldn’t have. Just didn’t have anyone else to cry to.”
“She lied to you, told you things about yourself that couldn’t have been further from the truth. So, now that you have lied to her, what are you going to do about it?”
“Cancel,” you whisper. “If I can just press the button to call her.”
“I’ll call her,” Tim offers, raising your phone. “Or I can go with you.”
“Tim, I can’t ask you to do this- to lie for me and spend your weekend off at a wedding, around people you don’t know.”
“You’re not asking,” Tim reminds you. “Which one? I make a call, or I go with you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t.” Tim smiles while assuring, “We’re friends, and we’ve been on vacation together before. This is just like that.”
“I don’t want to go…”
“But you don’t want to deal with the grief you’ll get if you don’t. I get it, but I’ll help in any way I can.”
You nod, taking your phone from Tim. “Thank you.”
“When do we leave?”
“Friday night. The wedding’s Sunday.”
“Two days before? Why?”
“I don’t even want to think about that right now.”
Tim raises your right hand, pushing a bent paper clip over your finger as he promises, “I will make sure you survive this weekend.”
“And I… will apologize in advance.”
✯✯✯✯✯
When you get out of the shower Friday night and get dressed, all you can think about is the weekend ahead. If you or Tim get uncomfortable, you could put your relationship on the line to look like a happy couple in front of your family. 
Tim’s knock draws you from your thoughts, and when he takes your bag from you, you realize something: Tim already acts like your boyfriend, so he really is boyfriend material. Your crush on him is bound to be affected over the next 48 hours, but he agreed to this, so maybe there’s a chance he feels more than friendship, too. Shaking the idea from your head, you accept Tim’s help as you climb into the passenger seat of his truck. He waits until he’s on the freeway to ask you about the wedding and your family. 
“What’s the fiancé like?” he asks. 
“I haven’t met him. Didn’t even know they were getting married until a few days ago.”
Tim nods, laying his elbow on the center console and moving closer to you without thinking. 
“I- I want to go ahead and tell you that you don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. My family can be a lot-“
“I’m not here for them. I’m spending the weekend with you, and nothing more. Remember that, okay? So, if you need an excuse, a buffer, anything you want or need, that’s me this weekend.”
“I can never repay you for this.”
“I’ll give you a call next time I need a wedding date,” Tim suggests. 
“Deal,” you reply with an easy smile. 
✯✯✯✯✯
Someone squeals your name, and Tim grips your hand when you flinch. 
“I’m so glad you made it!” the woman says, pulling you into a hug.
“Of course. And congratulations!” you reply. “Sorry about the invitation confusion.”
“Oh, no worries, I get it. Stuff happens. My mom said you were bringing your boyfriend?”
Tim steps forward, wrapping an arm around your waist as he offers his other hand. “I’m Tim, the boyfriend your mom mentioned.”
“Oh,” your cousin says, shaking his hand. She looks between you and Tim, and as you begin to expect a sarcastic comment, she says, “Nice to meet you, Tim.”
“That wasn’t so bad,” Tim whispers in your ear. 
“I guess I could’ve been overthinking it,” you admit. 
“You’re in chateau Sauvignon Blanc,” a man says, passing a key to Tim. “Follow the white path and you won’t miss it.”
“The chateaus are named after wine,” Tim muses. “Must be nice to be marrying into a family of nepotism.”
You laugh at him, and when he refuses to let you carry your bag to the chateau, you fall into easy conversation on the short walk. Entering, however, you stop in the doorway. 
“What’s wrong?” Tim asks quickly, stepping forward so his chest presses against your back. 
“Nothing, just- there’s only one bed in here,” you say quietly. 
“I think we can make it work. There’s always the floor if you want to treat your fake boyfriend like that,” Tim jokes, closing the door and tossing your bags on a nearby chair. 
“I- why’d you agree to come?” you ask him. 
“You needed a date.”
You don’t quite accept that. It’s not enough reason for someone as logical as Tim Bradford. You don’t have time to question him further, though, as you receive a text that dinner is being served in the main tasting room in just a few minutes. 
“Hey,” Tim says, laying his hands on your shoulders. “We’re two people on vacation together. It doesn’t have to be awkward.”
“Sorry. It’s just, this isn’t what I was expecting.”
“That’s okay, but we’re going to keep moving. No one knows me here, so I’m whatever-“
“I need you to be,” you repeat. “Thank you.”
Tim smiles, and you take your bag into the bathroom to get ready while he changes. When you exit, wearing your favorite outfit and hairstyle, Tim stands, offering both his hands. 
“You look stunning.”
“Clean up pretty nicely yourself, Mr. Bradford.”
“Oh, so you’re a flirty girlfriend?”
You roll your eyes, attempting to pull away from Tim. He tightens his hands around yours and pulls you into a hug, hooking one arm around you as he leads you back to the white path. 
✯✯✯✯✯
Sitting beside Tim, your hand stays in his until the food is served. So far, all of the attention has been on your cousin and her fiancé, and you’re more than happy to listen along to their chatter rather than talk yourself. 
“What about you two?” your grandfather asks. “How’d you meet?”
Tim moves his hand out of yours, patting above your knee as he answers, “We met at work; different divisions, but we joined forces for a narcotics bust and I just couldn’t get her off my mind, so I had to ask her out.”
“How long have you been together?” someone inquires. 
“5 years,” you and Tim say together. You add, “But we’ve only been serious for what? 6 months or so?”
“Since you finally agreed to my begging, you mean?” Tim asks, sending you a comforting smile. “Yeah, about that.”
“Cute,” your cousin comments before the conversation returns to her. 
You close your eyes and release a breath, leaning toward Tim when his hand covers yours again. 
✯✯✯✯✯
“How are we doing this?” You ask, standing at the side of the bed with your arms wrapped around your waist. 
“It’s a bed,” Tim says, blinking at you. “Seems pretty straightforward.”
“Well, yeah, but… what if I, like, snore more or something?”
“I’ll live. Just get in the bed.”
You crawl under the covers, murmuring, “Thought you were gonna call me boot there for a second.”
“I still may,” Tim responds as he turns the light off, lying beside you. “Is this okay?”
“Yes. Thank you, Tim.”
“No problem.”
✯✯✯✯✯
When you wake up, it’s a few minutes before dawn, and a strong arm is holding you against the mattress. When you try to move, Tim pulls you closer before tucking you against him as he relaxes again. 
“Friends on vacation,” you remember, pressing your cheek against his chest as you get comfortable. 
Suddenly, you remember you have to survive another night by his side. The idea makes you want to pull away, but his touch and heartbeat lull you back to sleep before you can. 
✯✯✯✯✯
“Your cousin is here,” Tim whispers, shaking you gently. “She wants to talk to you about dresses.”
“You’re a snuggler,” you mumble as Tim pulls you out of bed. 
“No one will ever believe you,” Tim says darkly. 
“Is she really here?”
“I wouldn’t lie about that. This isn’t a horror movie.”
Nodding, you pick up a change of clothes and move into the bathroom. Tim’s voice is muffled through the wall, but you can tell he’s being civil even as his patience wears thin. Straightening your outfit, you open the door and smile at your cousin and Tim.
“You’re wearing that?” she asks.
“You’re beautiful,” Tim says, smiling at you.
“What exactly are we doing?” you ask.
“I wanted to see the dress you’re planning to wear to the rehearsal tonight and the wedding and reception tomorrow. If you need something different, we can-“
“I won’t need different dresses,” you interrupt. “I like the ones I brought.”
“As do I,” Tim adds. “But I’ll leave you two to talk about dresses.” He stands, kissing your temple and pausing by your side to whisper, “Call if you need someone to save you.”
Smiling, you tell him to be careful. Your cousin waits until he leaves to sit on the end of the bed, waiting for you to show the dresses you packed.
As you hold them up, you remember Tim's compliments this morning as you hide your smile at her surprised reaction. And his arm around you last night. He’s taking his fake boyfriend duties seriously, and you’re unsure if your feelings can survive another night beside him.
“They’re pretty,” your cousin says finally. “I have a few more things to do before the rehearsal this evening, but I’ll see you around.”
“Congratulations again,” you call, exiting the chateau behind her to look for Tim.
When you round a corner on the white path, you run directly into Tim. His arms come up to catch you, holding you against his chest as he raises his eyebrows in surprise.
“Did it go okay?” he asks, rubbing a hand down your spine.
“Yeah. She said the dresses were pretty, so that was unexpected.”
“Wait ‘til she sees them on you,” Tim replies. “Can’t imagine getting upstaged at my own wedding.”
“What do you want to do for the rest of the day? The rehearsal isn’t until 5 and then most of the wedding party is leaving for bachelor and bachelorette parties.”
“You could model the dresses.”
“Stop,” you plead, laughing as you press against Tim’s chest.
“It’s my duty as your boyfriend.”
“I knew I should have asked Smitty.”
Tim narrows his eyes, shaking his head. “Don’t make me think about that.”
✯✯✯✯✯
“Where do you think the red path goes?” you ask.
“Are you asking me on a treasure hunt date?” Tim replies.
“Maybe. Care to follow our own version of the yellow brick road? See if you can find your usual personality on the way back to Kansas?”
“You don’t like my new personality? The one I created just for you?”
“Tim,” you warn. “Red path, yes or no?”
Tim takes your hand, leading you out of the chateau and back toward his truck before turning onto the other path.
“If we find a crime scene or something,” you begin.
“What?” Tim interrupts dramatically.
“If we find something unexpected, what then?”
“Wait,” Tim calls, gently pulling you back toward him. “What is this about?”
Glancing down, you say, “Last night.”
“Look, if I made you uncomfortable-“
“No, not at all. The, uh, the unexpected part was how much I liked it,” you admit quietly.
Tim taps his knuckle lightly against your chin, smiling as you raise your head to look at him.
“Just tell me what’s bothering you.”
“I don’t want to ruin anything. We’re friends, and I care about you, but this weekend could ruin everything if I make one wrong move.”
“You said it yourself, we’re friends, and we’ve been friends for years. Walking on eggshells around me all weekend is unnecessary, not to mention more dangerous than just telling me you like being cuddled.”
“You like being cuddled.”
“Never say that aloud again.”
You chuckle, taking Tim’s hand as you begin walking again. After a few minutes of walking in silence, you stop.
“The red path looks exactly like the white path,” you point out.
“Not true. The red path is red, and the white is white.”
“Wow. You should have been a detective.”
“Are we on the same page?” Tim murmurs.
“Yeah, I’ll be myself with you this weekend. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Nerd.”
“Excuse me?”
“Sorry, Dorothy.”
You roll your eyes, walking away from Tim. He laughs before taking a few long steps to catch up with you. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, Tim apologizes, and you lean against him, trying to remember what he said about being honest.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Hi, sweetheart,” your aunt greets you as you enter the venue for the rehearsal dinner. “You are at table 2, and your boyfriend is at table 9.”
“You didn’t seat us together?” you ask.
“Well, it was late notice, learning you were bringing a plus one. Sorry.”
“Uh, okay. Thanks.”
Tim lays his hand on your lower back, leading you to your table.
“I’ll be right back,” he says, reaching over the table before leaving.
You watch him walk to his table, switching a nameplate before returning to your side. He sets his nameplate on the seat beside you, sighing as he sits.
“Have I told you recently that you’re the best?”
“You don’t have to, I know,” Tim answers smugly.
“What do you want to do when this is over?”
“Planning ahead, aren’t we?” Tim smiles as he leans toward you.
✯✯✯✯✯
Exiting the venue, you take Tim’s hand, wrapping your other hand around his forearm as you walk beside him. He tugs you closer, keeping you close until you’re back in your chateau. After changing quickly and washing your face, you collapse onto the bed.
“I thought my family was tiring,” Tim jokes.
“Still up for cud- lying closely on the same piece of furniture?” you correct.
Tim leans over you, smiling as he says, “Since you asked so nicely.”
You stare at the ceiling until Tim returns and pulls you into his side as he lays beside you. Rolling against him, pressing your ear to his chest so you can hear his heartbeat, you accept that things are changing.
“I don’t think we can go back to how things were before,” you mutter.
“Me neither,” Tim agrees softly, moving his hand to your upper back.
“Did I ruin everything by letting you come with me?”
Tim rolls onto his side, facing you rather than holding you.
“What’s the plan for tomorrow? Does everything get awkward after the wedding?”
“You didn’t ruin anything,” Tim answers. “I offered to come because it was an opening to spend time with you.”
“But-“
“We’re friends, right? That’s what we say but that’s not how it feels.”
“How does it feel?” you whisper.
“Like more. Tell me you’ve been pretending, and I’ll let this go, but nothing I’ve said this weekend has been a lie or an act.”
“I have feelings for you,” you confess. “I have for years, but I didn’t know how to tell you or what you’d think. So…”
“We both did. Stay quiet to preserve a friendship that could have been much more.”
Inhaling deeply, you move forward, closing the distance between you and Tim.
“You asked what happens after the wedding,” Tim says. “I’d like to keep going from here.”
“I’d like that too.”
Tim smiles, wrapping an arm around your waist as he rolls over, pulling you with him. You laugh against him, falling silent when you look into his eyes.
“Can I-“ Tim begins.
“Kiss me,” you demand.
Tim cups your cheeks as he pulls you down against him, kissing you softly. You slide your arms over his chest, holding his jaw as you reciprocate his every move. Tim’s arm tightens around your waist before someone knocks on the door.
Pulling away, you sigh before getting out of bed, cracking the door open to see who it is.
“Hi,” you greet, surprised to see your aunt outside.
“I moved your seats for the wedding and reception,” she tells you. “Since you seem inseparable.”
“Thank you.”
“Sorry for earlier, and for interrupting. I’ll see you at the wedding.”
After you close the door, you press your hand against it and take a few breaths, surprised by her apologies.
“Are you okay?” Tim asks, sitting up as he watches you.
Walking back to his side, you lie down and move against him, smiling as you answer, “I’m great.”
Tim holds you close, both of you falling asleep on the same side of the oversized bed. When you wake up the following morning, you chuckle at the sight of it, with one side still made after a night in Tim’s arms.
✯✯✯✯✯
“You’ve been in there for a while,” Tim calls, tapping his knuckles against the bathroom door.
“Maybe she was right,” you answer. “I mean, the dress looked great on the mannequin, but…”
“Open the door,” Tim demands.
“No.”
“I will kick it down. You know I can.”
You pull the door open before he can do anything, and Tim’s eyes widen when he sees you.
“You look…”
“I know.”
“Perfect.”
Furrowing your brows, you look down at the dress.
“How do you feel?” Tim asks. “In the outfit, in general?”
 “I feel good, really good.”
“Well, you look even better. Don’t let whatever someone said make you think otherwise. And I was right.”
“About?”
“You’re gonna look better than the bride.”
Tim’s smile, accompanied by his kind words, makes you smile, wrapping your arms around his waist as you hug him tightly. Your relationship with him has changed this weekend, and you’re still giddy because you can tell him you love him whenever you want.
“I love you,” you say against his suit.
Tim pulls back quickly, looking into your eyes as he asks you to repeat it. After you do, he smiles and replies, “I love you. I’ve loved you for years.”
“We’re going to be late,” you remind him, narrowly dodging a kiss.
Shaking his head, Tim offers his arm, keeping you close as you walk to the wedding venue entrance. Finding your seats, you sit beside Tim, pulling one of his hands into your lap as you look at him.
“Those bouquets are really bright,” you say.
“Our wedding will be much better,” Tim agrees.
“We’re getting married now?” you ask, smiling.
Tim looks at you from the corner of his eye, shrugging as he says, “Why not?”
“I love you, Tim Bradford.”
“Thank you for letting me be your boyfriend this weekend,” he replies. “I love you.”
“Oh, you’re going to be my boyfriend for a lot longer than this weekend.”
“And after that?” Tim asks, interlacing his fingers with yours.
“That part is up to you, I think.”
You stand, keeping your hand in Tim’s as the wedding procession begins.
“Then, yes, we’re getting married,” Tim whispers. “But it will be perfect.”
Keeping your attention on one another throughout the ceremony, you fall in love with Tim again. After the bride and groom walk down the aisle together, you pull the paper clip ring from your dress pocket. Tim stands, and when he turns to you, you raise it.
“Tim Bradford, will you be my boyfriend?”
Tim chuckles, pulling you up to kiss you before you slide the ring onto his finger. He had nearly forgotten about giving it to you before leaving the station but seeing it on his finger makes him even more eager to marry you someday.
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penguinsfly · 7 months
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I unfortunately saw something I didn't want to see and that was my last straw. I'm fucking doing this.
Let's establish this first. Alastor is stated in the show to be asexual that is not up to discussion. He is also very heavily implied in the same conversation to be aromatic. 'An Ace in the hole' being used in context of him being with Charlie is also implying his aromanticism.
VIDEO
If that's not enough then here is Viv speaking about his romantic orientation. It's pretty clear despite the fact that afterwards she said it's okay to headcanon whatever (it's not but I will get o that later) that he is written purely as an aro ace character.
On top of that going by Alastor's interaction with Angel from the pilot and the first episode it is clear that he is sex repulsed. Not only that but on the fandom website he is stated to be touch averse with two sources which you can check out on the website.
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Hazbin hotel wiki, Alastor page
Now we established that Alastor is canonically Asexual, Aromantic, Sex Repulsed and Touch Averse
As I also am all of the above I'll try to explain everything to the best of my ability as simply as I can.
Aromanticism and Asexuality.
I'm probably targeting the audience that knows those terms but regardless I will explain it anyway.
Aromantic - people that experience little to no romantic attraction towards any gender
Asexual - people that experience little to no sexual attraction towards any gender.
Little to no
Asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums in which people can feel certain attractions towards people but those attractions are less occurring or are defined by personal connection.
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Diagram from AVEN website
However some people are at the end of the spectrum, they never felt attraction and that's valid. Alastor was stated to be aroace he wasn't written as demi or as gray he was written as aroace as in the end of the spectrum. His repulsion and not giving shit about romance or sex speaks for itself.
Representation
I do understand that everyone wants to be represented but it's so important to understand that aroace people are one of the most underrepresented queer groups in the media.
And I'm not here to scream about how I want my fav character to be just like me I don't care for it I'm way too confident in my orientation to rely on that however I'm tired of explaining to people what asexuality and aromanticism is just to receive 'are you sure' or 'you'll change your mind' or 'its not real' or the community favourite 'you'll find the right person' no I won't I'm not looking thank you very much (I just smile and nod to be polite and I'm sick of it).
'Harmless' buts like: 'He might be on the spectrum', 'AroAce people can still feel attraction' hurt the final outcome for all the people on the spectrum not only strictly aroaces because it allows people to write one shots with 'Demi Alastor' that falls in love in 2000 words because he is 'demi' (spoiler alert: they don't understand what that label means). It's just a cover, an opening, sneaky way to disregard his orientation, feel good about themselves and move on. Newsflash there is no moving on for aroace people it's our life.
Shipping
Shipping is just harmless fun right? Usually yes but not in this case. In the same way its not okay to ship gay characters with genders they are not attracted to.
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It's erasure and since there is much less people identifying on aro/ace spectrums then there is gay or bi people our voices are being silenced. Not to mention that gay people received support from entire LGBTQIA+ community over the years in contrast to aro/ace specs who to this day are told that we are 'not queer enough' or 'not oppressed enough' often by other queer people.
And finally... FINALLY we get cannon Aro/Ace character that is clearly not interested in romance and sex. Character that beats stereotypes of boring and timid aro/ace people and what's the first people do? They ship him. Alastor's storyline provides so many points to be explored like 'what is his backstory', ' what's about his deal', ' how does he fit in in the found family trope' , 'does he care about hotel guests' yet people choose to write about the only thing that he is not interested in. As a heavily repulsed person that used to be horrified about the fact that I'll have to fall in love with somebody at some point before I found out what aro/ace is I find it repulsive and trust me he would too.
But Viv said it's okay!
Its the same point once again. What if Viv said that it's okay to ship gay Angel with woman. She doesn't have authority to say shit like that.
Queerplatonic relationships
I can't tell you not to do it I don't think he would be necessary interested in it but for fuck sake do your research and try to understand what queerplatonic means before you use it as a cover to shamelessly ship him. Respect the fact that he is sex repulsed and touch averse and you're fine.
Why can't you just avoid it?
First of all I shouldn't have to. Alastor's orientation should be respected in the fandom like any other orientation is. Second of all I've tried. I tried to only look up AroAce Alastor tag I've blocked over 80 people on tumblr alone (I just counted) to avoid to see anything that could trigger me and I'm not talking about slightly shippy posts or fanarts I'm talking about full blown disregard towards his orientation. Guess what it didn't work!
Archive of our own where do I start. I've used this website for over a decade and I could probably count days I didn't go there on my fingers. I'm fluent in AO3 I know which tags I should block. I know how to skim thorough the summary and tags to see if I'm interested. I've seen shit I'm a shipper I've been on ao3 for ten years but never had to mentally prepare myself to face queerphobia as I click on the tab.
Just use aro/ace Alastor tag.
I do and let me tell you people can't tag for shit or they just pretend to be clueless at this point. Besides see this?
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there is more ff with Alastor/reader (disgusting) than there is Alastor with his canon orientation and to play the devils advocate for arophobic people there is more Angel/Alastor then his stated in the show sexuality. I understand that fandom goes back before the show was aired but Viv confirmed his orientation back then too.
Summary
I could go on and on bout different issues and maybe I will in the future but I'm not wasting anymore of this weekend on it. I'm ready to answer any questions as long as they are respectful.
I'm aware that he is a fictional character, it doesn't affect him in any way whatsoever but it does affect aromantic and asexual people keep it in mind.
If there are any mistakes grammar related I'm not sorry I'm fluent in English (not my first language) but I took 3h nap in between and I'm sleep deprived.
Have a nice day.
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perfectlyoongi · 28 days
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WHEN THEY LOVE YOU THE MOST
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ㅤ⚘.fandom ... bts. ㅤㅤಇ.ft. ... yoongi, hoseok, namjoon x gn!reader. ㅤ⚘.genre ... headcanons. ㅤㅤಇ.content ... fluff. ㅤㅤಇ.word count ... ~315 each / 945 total.
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↬┊YOONGI
between the dusty pages and the lit candles, sweetened with the certainty of a future and adorned with the pride of a past, Yoongi loved you the most when a new sparkle appeared in your eyes, eager to explore the vast world in which we live.
curiosity lit up your face every time happiness squeezed your heart, leaving you to question what else you could do, what else you could love, all the questions arising within you in a thirsty avalanche of knowledge. and Yoongi clung to all your longing smiles and all your melancholy looks.
admiring you from afar, always fearing to share your happiness, nervously believing that he could destroy your passion, Yoongi allowed your entire existence to paint his heart in strong shades of the hottest reds and the most passionate oranges. your passion painted pictures in Yoongi's soul, sculpting his entire existence into a perfect representation of complicity.
all because you discovered something new. all because you discovered a new passion, a new goal. and, oh!, how beautiful it was to see you growing up, becoming the wonderful person who inspires each and every one of Yoongi's creations.
between smiles and looks, words and memories, all your essence rained down in a cosmic waterfall that dusted Yoongi's various notebooks with stardust, making him write with the magic of your soul, create with the spell of your being — all for you.
for your courage to start something new when no one expected anything from you. for your resilience in continuing when everyone was knocking you down. for you, for being the genuine person who enchants Yoongi every day.
and, for that, Yoongi admired you, yes, but, above all, he loved you. Yoongi loved you yesterday and he loves you today. Yoongi would love you in a tomorrow that awaited you and in a future designed by both of you. Yoongi simply loved you, now and for all eternity.
↬┊HOSEOK
in the waves of moonlight, feeling your body next to his, after an exhausting day of pretending and talking, never knowing how to react to the world, Hoseok loved you the most when everything that existed ceased to be and nothing but luminous darkness covered the vast horizon.
alone with you, feeling comfortable between the small walls, wrapped in soft sheets, Hoseok loved you the most when he stopped pretending. stripped of any weight of the world on his shoulders, completely devoid of the imaginary people that made up his being, Hoseok loved you the most when he was himself and only him. simply Hoseok.
with delicacy trapped in his touch and neediness clinging to his gaze, Hoseok's love came with the grace of the end of the day, all the existing tiredness clinging to his slurred, but always heartfelt and always vibrant, words.
an ‘i love you’. an ‘i missed you’. a ‘just five more minutes’.
small pleas escaped Hoseok's tender lips, as if they were prayers uttered by the most faithful devotees. all the anguish and uncertainty that ruled Hoseok's body dissipated when he arrived home, feeling comfortable between the small walls, wrapped in soft sheets, clinging to you.
when the entire world suspended and the entire universe stopped moving, Hoseok loved you with the infinity of still seconds, all the cosmic particles of the world appearing delicately in Hoseok's words; words plated in gold, gold from the oldest gods and the brightest stars, words that carved and drew all the promises and memories that Hoseok wanted to build with you. only you, only him.
the world didn't need to speak for Hoseok to love you. the world didn't need to move for Hoseok to love you. for, on the shining nights, wrapped in a sheet next to you, the entire world ceased to exist, and Hoseok could only love you.
↬┊NAMJOON
in the insecurities of the future and the uncertainties of the present, bathed in the brightness of the sun and declaimed in the beauty of flowers, Namjoon loved you the most when everyone got tired of you and threw you to the ground, again and again, without any warning.
whole afternoons seemed eternal when you felt Namjoon's embrace. small poems were quoted between murmurs and the various songs by the most famous composers found a melody between Namjoon's delicate lips.
whenever and every time the whole world had fallen to you; whenever and every time the entire world decided to test your strength; in all these moments, Namjoon was there, for you, to remind you why he didn't leave, to engrave in your memory, with strong colors of love and affection, that he would always be a word away. tranquility and peace — among all the chaos, Namjoon existed. and he didn't exist just for you; Namjoon existed for your relationship.
patience and understanding fled from Namjoon's fingertips, outlining drawings of strength and encouragement, writing loving memories every time he touched you.
always calm and smiling, Namjoon loved you. he simply loved you.
there was no other way to say it, as there was no other way to feel it: pure passion burned Namjoon's heart, using the lava that flowed within him to build fortifications of love and tenderness in his hands, so that whenever he caressed you, poems of tomorrow and sonnets of your conquests would be eternally engraved on you.
extreme devotion squeezed Namjoon's heart, letting the line that hung from it escape through his lips in all the light, graceful, tender kisses that Namjoon gave you to enhance all the memories of who you are and who you were. when everyone gave up on you, Namjoon was by your side loving you. always and forever with you.
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ㅤㅤ♡ feedback is appreciated ♡
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bad268 · 4 months
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hi!! can i request a clingy paul aron x reader? kinda similar to what you wrote for kimi antonelli. maybe him being extra clingy when he finally gets home after a long day or early mornings? tysm!! i love your works
Hold Me (Paul Aron X Reader)
Fandom: RPF/F2/F3
Requested: Clearly (Thank you love <3 it's kinda short but i didn't wanna make it too close to Kimi's)
Warnings: none
POV: Second Person (You/your)
W.C. 893
Summary: After a bad weekend, Paul wants to be held by you.
As always, my requests are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
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~~(^Pinterest)
Paul never considered himself a clingy person, but even he could admit that his thoughts were borderlining it. He just could not focus all day, and all he wanted was to be as close to you as humanly possible. You had gone home for the weekend for your sibling’s graduation, and you had gotten back to your shared apartment right after he left for the race weekend.
He would say that he just missed you. Not seeing your significant other for just over a week when you’re used to walking up with them every day will make you yearn for them.
He had a long day on the track, and he just wanted to be held by you. With staring on the front row, having to retire from the sprint the day before due to a technical problem, and getting caught up in a midfield drash during the feature race, he was just done. Thankfully, he had booked his flight home for only a few hours after the race. This would give him time to attend the debrief, do some media, and dip out of there. Granted, the debrief was quick because his races were short, and the media was not nearly as extensive as it would have been if he’d finished either race. 
Paul was silent as he left the track. He was silent the entire way back to the hotel, silent as he packed his bags, silent as he rode to the airport, and silent almost the entire flight home. He did not feel like engaging in small talk with people, so he did not speak until spoken to. Plus, he knew that when he landed, he would be one step closer to you. He just had to get through the painstakingly long time it took to get to you. 
Your apartment was not too far from the airport, but he never wanted you to pick him up when he landed at such a late hour. He had worked it out that Ralf would pick him up, but you messaged Ralf separately because you also could not wait for Paul to get in. 
You thought it would be funny to make him a “welcome home” sign to hold up in the airport, so you had been working on it during the day. It had all of his favorite colors and streamers on the bottom. You were sure it would catch his attention.
So there you were, standing in arrivals. You could have looked better, but it was nearly midnight. To be honest, you were planning on just going to sleep as soon as you both got home. You had on one of Paul’s hoodies and a pair of sweatpants, but it was comfortable. You checked the status of Paul’s plane and moved to get the sign ready when you saw that the plane landed a few minutes ago. You would be seeing him shortly. 
Paul was ready to hurt someone. He was tired from the race, his eyes burned, and his head hurt. All he wanted to do was go home, crawl into bed with you, and not do anything for the foreseeable future. He grabbed his bags and made his way off of the plane. He knew his home airport like the back of his hand, so he was able to walk to arrivals with his eyes almost entirely closed. When he finally made it to arrivals, he briefly scanned the small crowd, looking for his brother, but when his eyes landed on bright colors and streamers, he chuckled to himself.
“Awe, someone’s family must have really missed them,” He thought before looking at the person holding it. 
You saw his gaze on you as he closed his eyes, took a breath, and walked faster toward you. You put the sign on the ground as he set his bags down, and wrapped his arms around your shoulder, hiding his face between your neck and shoulder.
“Hi baby,” You whispered as you hugged him back and ran your fingers through his hair. “I missed you. Did you like the sign?”
“It’s cute,” He said curtly, holding you tighter against himself. You let the silence fall between you as other families reunited and left, but you two stayed still. It was clear to you that he needed this.
“Are you ready to head home?” You asked after everyone else had cleared out. You tried to pull away from Paul, even if you were still within arm's length, but as soon as you moved, he whined. “Baby, how am I supposed to get us home if you won't let me go?”
“Can you just hold me? We can call an Uber or something, but can you please just hold me?” He asked in a quiet, almost timid, tone. It was not one you were used to hearing from him, so you were immediately concerned.
“If this is about the race, don’t even worry about it,” You tried to comfort, “There will be more races. You are not defined by your race results.”
“No it’s not that,” Paul responded as he tried to bury his face as deep into your shoulder as possible. “I just really wanted to see you, and I couldn’t. The race result just made it all worse, but I have you now, and I don't plan on letting you go.”
~~~~~
© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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This is complaining day because I realized there's more than one thing that got on my nerves lately and it's not just about the treatment of a kpop idol's mother. Let's begin.
Please, stop refering to Jungkook's mother as mama Jeon. I know the tendency is to ignore so many of the cultural differences that exist, but in SK, people don't change their surname after marriage. It just sounds idiotic and westernized in a ridiculous way.
So, Jungkook's mother loves all BTS members. She LOVES them all. How does army know that? How? I'm genuinely curious and genuinely asking. Because they say it as a certainty. Or, forgive me if my memory is faulty as well, but the only instance that we as outsiders were privy to in which we heard that woman speak for the first time, it was in early 2021 on another phonecall with Jungkook when she said I love you to Jimin.
Of course, the same ot7 narrative came as a buldozer at that time too. Damn, does that mean Jimin = BTS? Sometimes yes, but only when Army wants to diminish Jimin's importance and doesn't allow him to stand out individually too much. Musically or otherwise. But back to this Big Love that Jungkook's mom is supposedly feeling for everyone and which has been invoked once again when that woman mentioned Jimin twice while talking to Jungkook on the phone. Cause she already knew they were in Jeju. I bet she didn't have to find out randomly from a schedule group chat.
So what happens? An assumption is turned into certainty because of small people being extremely insecure. Because they see that one person is once again given more importance on a personal level and we can't have that. No sir! So in a panic, they tweet, they post on tumblr, tiktok, youtube the old age, boring af, sounding like a broken record sentence: "Mama Jeon loves all seven". Fuck me gently with a chainsaw cause that sounds a lot better than the feeling of throwing up I get whenever I read such things.
No, she doesn't love all of them. That is not a fact. It could be true and it's not impossible. But it is not a fact based on the knowledge we have at the moment.
Also, it shows once again that an entire fandom is actively creating a reality of their own which is not even like some sort of simulacrum of the reality they must live through. In Army world, the mother of one member of a k-pop group must love all the members of such group. It doesn't matter than irl, our mothers a lot of the times don't even like all our friends, besties or partners. We might have the most incredible connections and it would mean nothing to our mothers.
In that same vein, another narrative that makes me want to pull my eyes out is the "awww, their bond is to die for, they are (like) siblings after all". Do any of them never had any siblings? Never saw other people and their relationship with their siblings? Or with their family?
I also had to read (which was followed by me blocking it immediately) how Jimin and Jungkook's relationship is the sum of the other relationships they have with other BTS members. I mean, why would I have any sort of expectations from any of these people when they are completely incapable of looking at JM and JK as actual people. As persons with individual minds and an intellect of their own. Let alone the fact that their world does not stop with the presence of 5 other men. In what realistic scenario does this translate in real life? That's not how it works. Yes, we are social creatures and a product of our surroundings, but it is not in the way in which these stans believe it to be. They think that living in a dorm for a few years and working together with other people, it means that those experiences are the only ones that actually shape the personality of a person. They are real people, not fictional characters. I've never heard such ridiculous theories in my entire life, to be used as talking points about someone's behavior or relationship with another person.
Maybe the need to create this elaborate fantasy comes from the lack of love in their life, which then gets projected into this Disney, kumbaya, capitalist heaven narrative in which everyone is a big family and they love each other so much and equally and all the parents of all the children love every single member and thus, harmony is created. Love is always platonic and ever present. The complexity of human relationships must not exist.
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elitadream · 4 days
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Hi guys~! ⛅👋
Long time no see! Much longer than I ever intended, in fact. Truth be told, I wanted to make a public post sooner, but I've had a lot to catch up on in terms of notifications and messages since logging back in a few days ago. I've also made some changes that I will address shortly, but first of all I wanted to thank those of you who have reached out with so much care and understanding during my absence. Adjusting has been a slow and fragile process for me -still is-, and I sadly haven't responded directly to everyone yet because of it, but I wanted to say how much I appreciate your patience and support nonetheless. 🥹 🙏
Long story short, I was gone for five months due to a huge burnout, then progressively found my spark again somewhere along the way and have since mostly recovered. It was my wonderful friend @drones-of-innocence who reached out to me outside of Tumblr, and her sense of initiative is largely the reason why I managed to make this post in a somewhat reasonable delay. 😅💖 With that said however, I must also mention that I've deleted a lot of stuff from my page and have removed most of my work from the public eye as well. This may seem quite drastic and frankly a little unsettling, but I assure you that it was a thoroughly considered and reasoned decision! The thing is that I was still getting lots of notes on these drawings everyday and… To put it simply, I didn't want that anymore. 🙇‍♀️ Experiencing popularity was very detrimental to me in the long run and I needed to put an end to it for the sake of my own wellbeing; at least for now.
Which brings me to my next point.
After mulling it over for a while, I've decided that I would not be returning as an active creator in the Mario community this time around. 👐 Making fanart for this franchise (with such a high and continuously maintained degree of involvement) had a lot to do with my health's decline and I've come to realize that I wanted to direct my focus elsewhere going forward. For that reason, there are things which I know will never be repeated again in the future, both in regards to my art and online presence in general, but that's alright. Things change, as they do and should. I'm looking forward to reuniting with folks and would be very happy to stay in touch with those of you who wish to message me privately. Like my lovely pal @istadris said, what matters most about any fandom are the friends you make in it. ☺️
And speaking of which-
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@ody-and-fanatu That's so sweet of you, thank you! 💗 I'm glad you've enjoyed my contribution to the fandom. It was fun while it lasted! 💫 My visual ideas may be gone from my page, but most of my written posts and replies are still there for anyone who wants to revisit those at least, so there's that! And I'd also like to answer some of the asks I still have in my inbox at some point. Knowing that you hold my art in such high regard makes really happy! 🥰 Unfortunately, the other account that I have is reserved for my professional work and I prefer to keep them separate from one other, but the good thing is that I intend to go back to this blog occasionally. Hoping to see you around! Cheers! 🥂
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@heiressofdoodles Thanks, I appreciate that! ✨ I'm honestly doing much better than I was earlier this Spring. Back then, I was running on empty and on the verge of crashing without even knowing it. Being in constant physical pain was one thing, but feeling mentally and emotionally drained on a daily basis was another entirely, and something had to be done. It took me a moment to really figure out what was wrong, but thankfully I realized very quickly what was causing it and applied the breaks with all my might. One of my main priorities now is to be more alert and respect my own boundaries to make sure that this never happens again. 🥲
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@keakruiser Thank you. 🙏💐 I'm just glad to have found my footing again. Feels good to be able to create freely.^^ Hope you're doing well too!
Special thanks also to @pianokantzart, @jelly-fish-wishes, @katlyntheartist, @triniji and @wahooitsamee for their kind words. 🫂 Your graciousness and consideration means a lot to me. 💝
As for all the nice people who sent me anon comments and well wishes, I tried to summarize my thoughts as best I could in this update, but if there's anything else you'd like to say or know, don't hesitate to ask me anytime! Now that I feel like myself again, I think I'm gonna hang out on Tumblr for a little bit. I'll be excited to see what you guys have been up to in the meantime! 🤗 Wishing you all a very good day and pleasant Fall. 🍂
-elita 🌸
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sapphic-agent · 6 months
Text
Let's Talk About How Book 3 Ruined Aang
If you've seen any of my prior ATLA posts, you know that I don't hate Aang. In fact, I quite liked him in Books 1 and 2. He was flawed, as all characters should be, but the show didn't shy away from those flaws or justify them. He was called out for burning Katara and rushing his firebending, Sokka and Katara were rightfully upset when he hid Hakoda's letter, he willingly owns up to the fact that his actions helped drive Toph away, and his entire arc after losing Appa and finding hope again in The Serpent's Path was beautifully done.
(Hell, even in The Great Divide Katara says what Aang did was wrong and he agrees. It's played for comedy, but the show still makes the effort to point out that what he did wasn't the right thing to do. You're just meant to understand that he was fed up and acted off of that)
Those flaws and mistakes were addressed and improved upon and helped Aang to grow as a character.
But for some reason, that aspect of Aang's character was completely flipped in Book 3.
The best examples of this are in both TDBS and EIP. Both the show and the fandom are too quick to brush off that Aang kissed Katara twice without her consent, one of which after she explicitly said she was confused about her feelings.
(And yes, she is angry in response and Aang calls himself an idiot. But after this, it isn't really addressed. They go on like nothing happened for the rest of the episode. Aang's lamentation comes from screwing things up with her romantically, not that he violated boundaries)
The show never really addressed why what he did was wrong. Not only because he wasn't given consent, but also because both times he isn't thinking about what Katara wants. In both instances, Aang is only thinking about himself and his feelings. This is something that persists through a lot of the third book. And by Sozin's Comet it ultimately ruins any character development he had built up in the second book.
One thing I feel was completely disregarded was the concept of having to let go of Katara in order to master the Avatar State.
For me, the implication wasn't that he had to give up love or happiness necessarily. He was emotionally attached to and reliant on Katara, to the point where she was needed to stop him from hurting everyone around him and himself. This is obviously detrimental to his functionality as the Avatar. And the point of him "letting her go" wasn't that he had to stop caring about her, it was that his emotional dependency on her was stopping him from being the Avatar he needed to be and that was what needed to be fixed. I don't even think it's about the Avatar State itself, it's about being able to keep your emotions and duty as the Avatar separate.
(If you look at Roku, he loved and had a wife. It wasn't his love for her that messed everything up, it was his attachment to Sozin. He wasn't able to let Sozin go and not only did he lose his life for it, the world suffered for it. It's the unhealthy attachments that seem to be detrimental, not love itself)
And Aang realizes that in the catacombs, which is how he's able to easily enter the Avatar State and seemingly control it. He let Katara go.
So then why does it seem like his attachment to Katara is not only stronger, but worse in mannerism? He liked Katara in Books 1 and 2- obviously- but he was never overly jealous of Jet or Haru. He only makes one harmless comment in Book 2 when Sokka suggests Katara kiss Jet.
But suddenly he's insanely jealous of Zuko (to the point of getting frustrated with Katara over it), off the basis of the actions of actors in a clearly misrepresentative play. Katara showed a lot more interest in Jet and Aang was completely fine with it.
(Speaking of EIP, Aang's reaction to being played by a woman was interesting. He wore a flower crown in The Cave of Two Lovers. He wove Katara a flower necklace. He wore Kyoshi's clothes and makeup and made a funny girl voice. He willingly responded to Twinkle Toes and had no issue being called that. And for some reason he's genuinely upset about being played by a woman? Aang in Books 1 and 2 would have laughed and enjoyed the show like Toph did. His aversion to feminity felt vastly out of character)
I guess my point is, why did that change? Why was Aang letting go of Katara suddenly irrelevant to the Avatar State? It felt like him letting go was supposed to be a major part of his development. Why did that stop?
Myself and many others have talked about The Southern Raiders. The jist of my thought process about it is his assumption that he knew what was best for Katara. And the episode doesn't really call out why he was wrong. Maybe sparing Yon Rha was better for Katara, maybe it wasn't (the only one who's allowed to make that choice is her). Pushing forgiveness? That was wrong. But the episode has Zuko say that Aang was right when the course of action Katara took wasn't what Aang suggested.
Katara's lesson here was that killing him wouldn't bring back her mother or mend the pain she was going through and that Yon Rha wasn't worth the effort. That's what she realizes. Not that she needed to embrace forgiveness. How could she ever forgive that? The episode saying Aang was right wasn't true. Yes she forgives Zuko, but that wasn't what Aang was talking about. He was specifically talking about Yon Rha.
And that was wrong. Aang can choose the path of forgiveness, that's fine. That's his choice. But dismissing Katara's trauma in favor of his morals and upbringing wasn't okay.
I know it sounds like this is just bashing Kataang. But it's not simply because I don't like Kataang, in my opinion it brings down Aang's character too, not just Katara's. But let's steer away from Kataang and Katara for a minute.
The one thing that solidifies Aang's character being ruined in Book 3 for me is the fact that he- at the end of the story- does the same thing he did in the beginning.
He runs away when things get hard.
Aang couldn't make the choice between his duty and his morals. So he ran. Maybe it wasn't intentional, but subconsciously he wanted an out. And this is really disappointing when one of the things he was firm about in Book 2 was not running anymore. His character went backwards here and that's not even getting into the real issue in Sozin's Comet.
There's been contention about the Lion Turtle intervention. For many- including myself- it's very deus ex machina to save Aang from having to make a hard decision. And that in turn doesn't reflect kindly on his character.
Everyone- Sokka, Zuko, Roku, Kyoshi, Kuruk, and Yangchen (who was another Airbender and was raised with the same beliefs he was and would understand which was the whole point of him talking to her)- told him he had to kill Ozai. They all told him it was the only way. And he refused to listen to any of them, rotating through his past lives until he was given the answer he wanted.
And before anyone says that I'm bashing Aang for following his culture, I'm not. Ending the war peacefully, in my opinion, wasn't the problem. In a way, I think it allowed the world to heal properly. However, that doesn't make up for the fact that Aang refused to make a choice and face the consequences of that choice. Instead, he's given an out at the very last second.
Even if he couldn't kill Ozai and someone else had to deliver the final blow, that would have been better than the Lion Turtle showing up and giving him a power no one's ever had before. It would have been a good compromise, he doesn't have to have blood directly on his hands but what needs to be done needs to still get done. It would also show that being the Avatar isn't a burden he has to bear alone. That when things get hard, he can't run away but he can rely on the people closest to him to help him through hard decisions.
All these issues aren't necessarily a problem with Aang. Aang prior to Book 3 didn't have most of these problems. This is a problem with the way he was handled
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shalotttower · 2 months
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The Art of Disappearing (part 1)
Title: The Art of Disappearing Fandom: Resident Evil Village Characters: Lady Dimitrescu x Reader (female) Summary: Lady Dimitrescu enjoys wine; you enjoy living. You pray to god those don't overlap. Word count: 1800+ Notes: mentions of death, implied torture and violence, NSFWish, WINE Part 2
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Hiding in plain sight is a skill honed by necessity here.
Melt seamlessly into the decor of drapes and velvet curtains until you're indistinguishable from them. Become wallpaper with eyes that stare and mouths that don't open, and arms that only pick, and pass, and scrub, and fold.
You're not the girl who was locked in the cellar last week.
You're not the girl who dropped a plate yesterday.
You're not the girl whose blood got so deep into the dining room rug that it's better off being burned.
You want to say that you won't be that girl, but you can't promise anything anymore except that dinner is at 6 o'clock every evening unless stated otherwise by Lady Dimitrescu. Your schedule revolves around hers entirely, like planets rotating around their dying sun, even if it's not your shift. There's no such thing as a day off in the castle.
But there're such things as a quiet day, or a normal day, or a bad one.
Today is a bad one.
Lady Dimitrescu's favourite lipstick is missing.
It's a very rare, expensive shade, like the red shell of a ladybug, or the last breath of a maiden. Your ears pick up the word being murmured from one maid to another — 'if anyone sees the item, return it to the Lady's vanity immediately'.
You hope that someone finds it soon. Nobody here is dumb enough to steal, so it's probably forgotten somewhere. But you don't say it of course, because Her Ladyship doesn't forget anything and you still need your tongue intact.
---
Lady Dimitrescu likes wine; you enjoy living.
You pray that the two never overlap.
So far luck has been on your side — for six months now you've been working in the castle. You've cleaned stains from carpets and floors without asking what they are (because it was clear even without questions); polished silverware until you could see yourself reflected in them and arranged flowers countless times to learn which ones Lady favors over others.
You were a mouth that didn't speak and eyes that saw nothing. A piece of furniture with legs and arms.
As long as you do your job and keep a low profile, you're safe. Humans thrive in delusion, and so do you. It keeps you sane, what an oxymoron that is.
---
At three in the afternoon, you clean the bathrooms.
Bela is the neatest among the three, and Cassandra leaves everything scattered around for maids like you to collect and place where it's supposed to be. Daniela is... unique. You're not sure how she manages to get stains and fingerprints on such random surfaces. Sometimes you wonder if she does it on purpose.
Daniela loves fun surprises.
Like sneaking up on you when you're on your knees, scrubbing the tub. She pokes your shoulder. "Hiya."
Your heart drops into your stomach.
"Lady Daniela," you greet while trying not to let your hands shake under the apron.
She's smiling sweetly today, like she didn't just scare ten years out of you. You're not fooled and know better than to trust that expression. Nothing in this castle is innocent and saccharine and nice. Especially not the daughters.
"Can I help you with anything, my lady?"
Please say "no" and leave.
Daniela rocks on her heels then leans forward, inspecting your work.
"Maybe. Maybe not."
She's bored, you realize. Great. Bored means unpredictable behavior, and unpredictable behavior means trouble for everyone else who isn't Daniela herself. You wait for whatever she wants — entertainment? food? — patiently despite the churning in your gut.
"I'm bored," she announces.
"Yes, my lady."
"Let's play a game. Hide and seek, like little ones."
Six months have yet to make the instinctive urge to flee within you die out whenever one of them wants something from you directly. You'd think that this whole time might've increased your chances of survival, but humans thrive in delusion. In reality, everything is a gamble here. An embroidery of chance and circumstances that determines if you will live another day, that's all.
"I would be honored, my lady."
The bathrooms must be finished by five, and it's almost four. You're not going to make it on time.
"Who is going to hide first?" You ask after a moment.
Daniela claps. "Well you, of course, silly!"
Of course.
---
Hiding in plain sight is a skill honed by necessity here. Melting seamlessly into the decor of drapes and velvet curtains.
But you're not a vase or a coat rack. You're just a girl who's been in the castle for a while and has gotten good at being invisible. You can't hide your heart beat. Your scent and the warmth of your skin are impossible to erase.
"Ready or not, here I come!" Daniela's sing-song voice carries from the other end of the west wing, and then fades.
She didn't count to ten. You know because you've been counting along, just to have an idea of how much time there's left until she finds you. There're no harbored hopes about the opposite happening. Hide and seek is one of Daniela's favourite games, and she dedicates herself to it thoroughly, with great interest.
It's not about winning the game — that much you realized early on when she played against other maids, plucking one out and chasing her around the castle before dissolving into flies with a cackle.
It's about the entertainment good enough to satiate her.
You're not the most agile, not the fastest. Even after six months your knowledge of the castle's layout is patchy, but you try to think logically. What places will she check last? What will Daniela expect you to choose?
Closets are off limits. So is the library, unless you want Bela on your tail as well.
Your mind wanders.
There're so many rooms in this castle that you haven't seen once during all of your shifts. You're always cleaning hallways, sometimes the daughters' parlors, and nothing more.
Down the stairs, past the servant quarters, is a place where rumors are born. Of thick barrels stacked to the ceiling like dominoes and wine in various stages of production. It smells sour-sweet down there — like fruit rotting in August.
Wine that never runs out in Dimitrescu castle as long as there're maids.
That's what others say, at least. Nobody has come back to confirm.
Would she look in the cellar? Would anyone?
It's the last place you'd search if you were looking for someone insignificant and replaceable.
You take off your shoes so that your steps don't echo in the expanse of marble and stairs.
---
There're all kinds of things down here. Broken furniture that's been tossed aside for disposal, boxes and crates of unidentified items, old paintings of people you don't recognize.
And wine.
A lot of it in barrels and bottles, some of which are labeled, some aren't. You walk past them, following the corridors of dusty brick. The air smells like mold and fermentation, damp. It reminds you of the lakeside by your grandmother's cottage in summertime and you feel strangely nostalgic.
You miss home.
The thought is dangerous and you quickly push it away, back to where it belongs — in your memories. Home doesn't exist anymore.
Time passes. Minutes go by without the sounds of buzzing swarms or doors creaking open somewhere nearby. No voices either, except for your own breathing and heartbeat that fill up every corner of silence. You find a nook between the stacked barrels and settle there with your knees pulled to your chest.
The place is colder, uncomfortably so. Cool ground sends its chill through your stockings.
You've done everything you could. Found a good hiding spot, a perfect one, and it's out of your control from here on.
The art of disappearing is simple: be nothing and wait until time decides if you're worth staying like that or not.
---
Daniela finds you after your legs start to numb from sitting.
"Found you," she grins from ear to ear.
Her flies settle as she solidifies into flesh with a giggle, girlish and mischievous. It could be cute if not the bloody smudges around her mouth and chin. She crouches down in front of you, close enough for you to see the specks of gold in her eyes.
"Congratulations, Lady Daniela."
Your fingers dig into your skirts.
Daniela tilts her head; a fly crawls on her cheek before taking off. "I win! I get my prize now."
You didn't know you were playing for a prize. But nobody tells you anything in this castle until it's too late, like that you're not supposed to open windows in winter, or that you can't touch Daniela's books because she has them organized alphabetically.
"What would you like, my lady?"
Another fly lands on your lips, a thick creature with translucent wings and little fuzzy legs. They tickle but you resist the urge to make a face lest she takes it as an insult. At your question her expression turns impish, one of those you never fail to associate with trouble.
She reaches into your apron's pocket... and pulls out a lipstick.
You stare at it — a simple elegant tube with a golden cap.
"Look what I found!" Daniela waves it in front of your face like it's a toy.
Your blood freezes over. How did it end up there? You've been working for hours today yet you don't recall ever picking it up off anywhere. Where-
"My lady, I didn't take it!" you blurt out in horror, when it dawns on you. "I swear, I wouldn't! I would never-"
Daniela blinks owlishly and then breaks into laughter, clutching her stomach. Her smile is so wide that you can see her gums stained with coagulated blood which makes your stomach turn. The flies swarm and dissipate around you both, disturbed by her unrestrained mirth.
"Silly," she interrupts your stammering. "I know! You should've seen your face!"
Oh thank god.
You're so relieved that for a second all air leaves your lungs.
"...you tricked me?" you ask quietly after a moment, a bit more composed now when the accusation of theft doesn't hang over your head.
"Mhm," Daniela nods and wipes tears from her eyes, still giggling.
You're not sure if it was funny to anyone except her.
Her smile lessens gradually and eventually vanishes from her lips altogether when the initial amusement wears off. Something coy appears in her demeanor, sheepish even, as she fiddles with the lipstick in silence.
"Can you put it back in mother's vanity?" she grabs your hand suddenly and places it into your palm.
That's when you realize that you never even once questioned where she got it from. But Daniela gives you a pout with a warning look, like she's able to tell exactly what you're thinking. All questions die instantly on your tongue; you nod.
"Yes, my lady. Of course."
"Good," she pats your knee. "Don't forget! Or I'll eat you."
Flies descend onto your skirt, buzzing around Daniela's fingers until she disappears into dozens of black insects.
You know that she meant every word.
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