#i don’t come on tumblr to talk about my blood issues but i am just a bit confounded

[skywitchmaja]

i just took the most batshit collection of blood pressure readings actually i think this cuff thing is just broken

[speedierthanasubmarine]

Finished heaven official’s blessing and I really enjoyed writing an analysis on helluva boss I want to make this a regular thing because it’s fun so here’s my thoughts on

Heaven Official’s Blessing

Spoilers (duh)

I think it’s incredibly impressive when someone can make an overarching narrative in which different seemingly disjointed events are significant without A) putting a giant exclamation mark on top saying “REMEMBER THIS IT WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER” and B) Significantly over or under emphasizing the importance of the scene in the moment. Each event stood on its own and I liked that.

There were several janky sentences and word choices but that’s a translation issue, this writer clearly knows what she’s doing.

Characters were a lot of fun and distinct, my favorites were Feng Xin, Pei Ming, Qi Ying, and Ling Wen whenever they were on the page I was like Ah yes, these pages are gonna be enjoyable and I was right, they’re all delightful (cept the brocade immortal stuff, but like I don’t care, Google assistant is fun) Xie Lian and San Lang are delightful, love them, and San Lang is so effed in the head it’s enjoyable to try and imagine what unhinged thing he’ll do next

Tbh there isn’t much plot breakdown I want to do with this series because it knows what it is, it’s a fanfic ass book with good times, trauma, gay fluff, and fights. Need I say more? That’s not a detractor, it’s a strength. Be what you are and own it because a house with a house’s foundation is a great house but slap a building on that house’s foundation and it fails in both regards.

The only aspect I’m going to analyze is the narrative voice the books are written in because holy crap is it super impressive. Xie Lian is a super mature (or ditzy, depending on your point of view) character, he doesn’t dwell on things, doesn’t hold grudges, doesn’t really care that much about people’s histories or even their present, doesn’t focus much on externals and it comes through in the way the book is written. I noticed this when throughout the books San Lang would do fucked up stuff like make it rain blood and kill a pit’s worth of people and Xie Lian kinda didn’t really seem to care and at first it pissed me off, why isn’t the author letting consequences occur because of these peoples’ actions, but then as it held consistently throughout the book and other people kept being super concerned about stuff, like Pei Constantly asking after Shi Qingxuan (I don’t know how to spell their name, it’s so hard to keep track I’m so sorry) or people bringing up Banue, I realized this is just Xie Lian, other people in the book are regular people like me, this one guy is just experiencing things, going “Well, ain’t that something” and then just moving on. Honestly iconic, but also I was halfway through book six when I realized. Especially since whenever they do flashbacks Xie Lian does all normal stuff. He describes settings he’s in, he mentions events that happened a few pages ago, he tells the reader how he feels, it’s after he experiences all his shit he goes through that this all kinda slips away. In “present” scenes he’ll reference things as they come up but like in the flashback after Mu Qing leaves they talk about it a few times and I find that aspect of acknowledgment to be noticeably absent in the “present” scenes. After the black water arc there is a complete lack of discussion about the frankly trauma inducing event that just transpired but sure Cie Lian, you and San Lang have to not hold hands for the billionth time. At first I thought is this author high but then I realized what shes doing is characterizing through prose which is IMPRESSIVE AS HELL. This may be a point I noticed and am now misremembering the entire series just to bolster my take and if that’s the case then I shall sheepishly shrug and say I’m sorry. I’m not rereading 8 books to write a tumblr review. Maybe if I ever start a YouTube channel

I don’t know, I just find it to be an incredible feat of actually good writing when a story is being told through the lens of the main character and you can characterize that character by simply reading the story and seeing how it’s written, not even through dialogue and action. It’s kinda like the Great Gatsby or a Separate Peace, and it’s super cool that a book like this can accomplish the same thing that makes those classics great. There isn’t as much symbolism or analytical potential but those books wouldn’t be nearly as impactful as they were without great execution, which this book pulled off in spades.

[jolteon-rph]

OOPSPROMPTS / SENTENCE STARTERS.

Quotes & sentences taken from the writing prompt Tumblr blog, oopsprompts. Feel free to change the sentences as you see fit.

Some sentences have been altered to fit in more general contexts.

TW: Threats of violence, mentions of gore/blood, mentions of murder, mentions of death, mentions of/use of weaponry.

“I’m not your friend.”

“Do you want the long version, the short version, or the fun version?”

“It was a pickup line. Why can’t you ever be normal?!”

“Maybe there were no right choices in that situation, but you definitely made a wrong one.”

“You’re not my enemy.”

“That’s impossible. I’m constantly monitoring your location and biological signals, and not only do you not have any vitamin deficiencies, but you haven’t seen a doctor in--”

“Please stop saying that every time I enter a room.”

“This isn’t some fun little adventure story! This is my life you’re ruining!”

“In this house. We. Talk. About. Our. Feelings!”

“Try not to die; I’ve become emotionally invested in you.”

“We don’t all have the ability to just decide what we will or won’t care about, you know.”

“You can’t save the universe with friendship. You can’t even save yourself with it.”

“We could be friends in this life if you weren’t such an ass.”

“These are nice boots. I’m not getting your blood on them.”

“In my defense, this is hilarious, and I do believe you’ll learn to see the humor in it once you’re done kicking my ass.”

“I knew it was all over when my partner and my nemesis started roasting me together.”

“I wouldn’t call myself homicidal. I just want to kill one specific person.”

“I’m a man of my word, and right now my word is ‘kill’!”

“Usually it’s the bad guys who go around killing witnesses, so...”

“You know when I said that there was no such thing as being bad at this? I was wrong. You’re bad at this.”

“Excuse me? I’m not ‘just’ a bastard; I am the ultimate bastard.”

“Unless you’re here to kill me immediately, you may as well sit down.”

“What happened? It looks like someone died in here.”

“I assume that you don’t like me, because I’ve said some stupid stuff to you, and that’s fine. I just wanted to let you know that the feeling isn’t mutual; I like you, and if you ever need a hand, I’m here.”

“I am an artificial intelligence primarily devoted to monitoring and analyzing behavioral patterns. Of course I know memes.”

“I’m not an animal. You can’t win my trust by speaking softly and giving me food.”

“I don’t have ‘authority issues.’ I have one authority issue, and that is that I should be the authority.“

“Why is it always murder and mayhem with you? Don’t you ever just do normal person things? Eat a sandwich? Brush your teeth? Do you even brush your teeth?”

“I hate to break it to you, but present you is pretty terrible too.”

“I mean, tearing someone’s heart out with my bare hands wouldn’t have been my go-to, but it does solve the problem.”

“Look, I am this close to killing you for what you’ve done here, so if you want to live, you’re going to be very, very nice to me.”

“Why can’t you just... be better?”

“You have that look in your eye. You know, that ‘I’m about to do something that makes me a bad robot’ look.”

“Exactly-- you’re going to hate it, and watching you suffer will entertain me.”

“Look, I’m not a hero or anything, but I am going to take a stand with the good guys because they’re much less likely to stab me in the back.”

“Most of my interactions with other people are warning shots.”

“I’ve done too much fighting for you to let you give up and die now.”

“I really think that if the person I’m in prison for murdering has come back to life, I should be let out.”

“Don’t look at me all concerned. You forfeited any right to worry about me when you tried to kill me as I lay injured and helpless.”

“I was trying so hard to be nonthreatening but I just couldn’t resist the urge.”

“What kind of idiot punches a robot in the face?”

"You can't just-- hey! You can't just say things like that to people and walk away!"

“I think we could be really good friends, if only you weren’t such an awful person.”

“I worship a trickster God; he won’t mind!”

“Look, my first choice would have been to kill you, but since that’s off the table, I’m going to make you be a better person whether you like it or not.”

“I’m the brains in this operation?! Oh, we are in so much more trouble than I thought.”

"I love the law and doing legal things like not trespassing and, uh, eating sandwiches."

"This is a win-win for me. If you tell me, I win, because I get my information; but if you don’t tell me, I also win, because I get to hurt you.”

"That is a really personal thing to say to someone you only met three days ago."

“The best tool a liar can have is a reputation for telling the truth.”

“I don’t make threats. I make promises.”

“I know who you’re pretending to be.”

“You’re always focusing on what I did. I think I deserve a little credit for all the things I could’ve done but chose not to.”

“Do you ever say anything besides asking me to shut up?” 

“I don’t care how heartless you think I am, but do not think me stupid.”

[nytehavyn-circle]

RP Rules

IF YOU ARE A PERSONAL BLOG, DO NOT REPLOG ANY OF MY POSTS PERTAINING TO RP - DO NOT REBLOG MY CHARACTER BIOS, DO NOT REBLOG MY RP THREADS, DO NOT REBLOG MY HEADCANONS. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. If you are an RP blog and you enjoy my threads but are not a part of them, you may like them, but please do not reblog them.

Mun is 40+ He/him. Bi/pan. Poly. I will not RP with anyone under 18, 21+ is preferred. Minors, DNI. This blog has many mature themes, such as blood, gore, horror elements, and plenty of smut.

No hate. No racism, no LGBTQ+ hate of any kind, this includes transphobia, nothing of the sort.

I enjoy speaking to my followers and mutuals OOC. It helps with character chemistry and dynamics, and it helps make a friend! But I am a pretty intense OOC, and I WILL bother you all the time, probably. It's just how I am, no offense intended or anything as such. But, if something like this bothers you, or you're the type that doesn't like to, or won't, chat with your RP partners OOC, it's probably better if we don't interact. <3

I have been RPing in various forms since I was 13, starting from TTRPGs, to online through the era of AOL and AIM, to message board and the like, until I hit Tumblr around 2010. All in all, I have I've 30 years of RP experience in general and about 14 years on Tumblr.

I do not use a queue. Sometimes I take my time RPing, and sometimes I can reply back very quickly. Whichever is comfortable for me at a time. If I haven’t replied to our thread in over a week, go ahead and give me a nudge, but don’t push or I’ll lose muse for the thread.

I sometimes reply to some threads quicker than others, it all depends on the finickiness of my muse. Sometimes I have muse for some threads over others, and sometimes I get stuck. This does not mean I dislike you or hate you, or do not want to RP with you. And if I need to drop our thread or put it on hold, I'll come talk to you. I do not want you to be anxiety-ridden with worry over why I haven't replied to our thread.

You do not have to match my length! Just give me something to work with, something to move the thread along. I don’t expect you to carry the thread by yourself. And I’m going to assume you don’t expect it of me. I do not mind one-liners or conversation threads (if they help move the thread along, or we're just having fun). If I haven’t given you enough to push the thread forward, please tell me so that I may fix it.

I know most of the RPC here on Tumblr frowns upon it, but If you follow me, you do not have to reblog memes, pictures, artwork, or whatever, from the source. Feel free to use me as a ‘resource’ all you want. All I ask is that, hopefully, you will send in a meme prompt. If not, that's okay, too.

Shipping: I am a ship whore. Sometimes there needs to be build-up, and sometimes we can jump right in and go back and later fill in the past on the timeline. Chemistry is wonderful! But sometimes that chemistry is almost instant, or you and your RP partner just know the muses will work in a ship. So, come to me and we’ll talk about it!

Another thing to add: I do not have a DNI FC list. I do not have issues RPing with dead FCs, (I use one for one of my muses - John Candy). If you do not like RPing with dead FCs, do not interact with those specific muses. I also have no problem RPing with cartoon/animated FCs. One of my muses (Terran) FCs is hand drawn (by a friend long ago). 

I love smut. I love writing smut. So, smut will happen. While this is not a smut blog, some of my muses have a strong sex drive, so smut will happen frequently. I will not write any NSFW subjects with anyone under 21. Most of my muses are hetero, while only a handful bi/pan (and they are picky), so I will do M/F, F/F, and very picky about M/M. Smut will not be under a Read More.

There are certain subjects I won’t RP - Rape being the most important, sexual abuse is another. They might be referenced in a muse’s past, talked about by a muse, or even written about in a drabble. As such, they will be tagged accordingly. However, I will not RP these subjects out. Spousal abuse/domestic violence might be RPed out, but only with extensive talking about it first. However, rape and sexual abuse will never be RPed out. If there’s anything you’d like me to tag, please tell me. I will tag the trigger with tw trigger here, or tw: trigger here.

As pointed out above, this is an adult blog, and many things will be RPed out here. Blood, gore, violence, etc. Once again, if you need something tagged, please tell me.

No Godmoding. I control my muse(s), you control yours. Little things such as having them go through a door when it’s opened for them, getting out of a car - small things are fine. Anything large is off-limits without talking to me about it first.

No anon hate. Anon hate will be immediately reported and blocked, and anon asks will be turned off for a while.  Right now, Anon is on. Any hate, and it will be turned off.

Please make sure I can understand your writing/reply. I don’t want to have to struggle to read your reply. I’m mildly dyslexic myself, so mistakes are completely acceptable.  If English is not your first language, I am far more lenient about spelling/grammar mistakes.

I normally do third-person style RPs.  Only certain muses will be written in the first person.

Please tell me if we decide to push our thread in the direction of angst. when it comes to angst. Angst can be difficult for me to write due to RL issues.

Come to me first, to talk with me at length, before any baby/child/pregnancy-type RP threads or plots.  Tolaas and Terran (Living Vampires in my mythology in general) are sterile and cannot father children. So having SUDDENLY BABY/CHILD/I’M PREGNANT tossed into a thread just cannot happen with my two main muses, so it unnerves me and makes me uncomfortable.  Please talk with me first.

I also do not do A/B/O threads, even with my werewolf/shapeshifter muse.

Also, to add:.

This blog will be used as a semi-personal, meaning I will post/reblog things that aren’t always RP-related.

I have several mental illnesses - several social/generalized anxiety and bipolar depression with psychosis, both of which I am in therapy and on meds for - which sometimes prevent me from RPing for long periods of time. But I will still try to maintain a presence, even a small one, if I’m not RPing for a while.

Some of my muses will be willing to pop their heads out, other times they won’t.

You are free to unfollow me for ANY REASON.  You do not have to continue following me under some sort of obligation, or anything as such. All I ask is you HOPEFULLY come to me and talk about the problem, and maybe we can work it out.

I don’t always plot. Most times I find it difficult.  I prefer to jump right in.  However, you can come to me and we can try to come up with a specific scenario as long as the ‘plot’ doesn’t end up like something that feels out-and-out scripted.  I prefer to let our muses do what they do, rather than try to point by point what they have to do.

And remember, this is for fun, it’s a hobby. This is not a job. I am not obligated to RP with anyone, they are not obligated to RP with me.

[sordidmusings]

I love your buggy smut - how do you feel about writing consensual non consensual? I just need some dom!buggy in my life but please let me know

Hello anon you are in LUCK because I am a Freak 🤡🤡🤡 also do not worry because you are in good hands!! I have enjoyed this myself and I see you and don’t judge

And for anyone who gets upset by this content - that is valid too; not everything is for everyone and I will make it tagged and obvious what it is when I complete this. There is a large discussion to be had on this topic and it’s depiction and I will give the broad points below on dark content but please know this is coming from the perspective of someone who has done a lot of personal research and talked to professionals on this and who has, like I said earlier, had fully non-consensual experiences

Consensual non-consent and non-consensual experiences are not the same

Enjoyment of experiences like that in fiction is different than wanting those experiences to happen in real life because while reading/consuming the material you are giving consent and you can revoke that consent at any time by stopping (like any true consent)

Depiction and endorsement are two different things! They aren’t mutually exclusive but they are disparate as often as they align.

Romanticization of dangerous or abusive behaviors (true CNC isn’t abusive anyway) is where the problem lies - depiction shows multiple facets of something including the fallout, dangers, and issues that come with it, whereas romanticization focuses only on (or even only shows) the “good” parts or the parts that keep you reliant on the thing/dynamic

Smut/fantasy around sexuality has slightly different rules. There are a few black and white areas (minors, animals, etc) but most people have separate boundaries for what they enjoy or are okay with between their sexual and non sexual selves. A very elementary example of this is stuff like scratching and biting. Most people are fine with it during sex as long as it isn’t hard enough to pull blood but wouldn’t wanted to have even their partner do that to them outside of sex. This is a huge topic and very interesting to delve into so I suggest giving it a deep dive!m

Now I keep going back and forth on publishing this with the whole discourse outline in it but I am keeping it in because I am nervous of loud uninformed hate. From what I’ve seen, there are a lot of people who especially don’t understand numbers 3 and 4. I cannot stress them enough, not just for CNC but for anything and everything you consume. You are also allowed to not like something - not everything is for everyone. If something isn’t tagged properly then that needs to be changed, but if it is, then it is largely readers responsibility to check the tags and warnings.

Please keep this discussion (if any ends up happening past my ramblings) aimed at reaching a better understanding and not on trying to malign one another to earn a useless “most righteous on a random tumblr post” badge. Also please do not read this as me being a pro-shipper!!! There are lines that shouldn’t be crossed like I have said and beyond that I do not think that ships that are made to romanticize abuse are good either.

Thank you for reading my Ted talk and may we all be merry huzzah

[pokefossilclub]

FAQ

Can I send in requests for Pokemon headcanons?

Absolutely, please 100% do.

Can I send in requests for Pokemon worldbuilding and headcanons?

Please do! The pokemon themselves aren’t the only interesting thing about the setting, after all.

Can I send in requests for Pokemon care advice?

Again, absolutely, 100%. Please remember, however, I am not a vet, biologist or any kind of animal care specialist, I am talking about fake pixel animals who can turn into data and live in balls, please for the love of all that is good in the world do not apply any ‘advice’ given on this blog to real-life flesh-and-blood animals.

I don’t like your headcanons, can I send in asks explaining how you’re wrong actually?

I’d rather you didn’t, since this is a blog designed for me to set out how I, personally, see and interact with the pokemon setting. If you hate my thinking so much, block me and make your own blog; I’m not about to stop you. If, however, you are not so much refuting my headcanon as expanding on it, your addition is welcome.

Can I send in asks relating to pokephilia?

Please don’t. I’m not judging, but I’d like to keep this blog sfw. Besides, Gingko is not a sex or relationships counsellor; she can barely work out her own dating life. Asks relating to such things will be deleted.

Can I send in asks about Pokemon breeding with each other?

Yes, but, y'know, that has to be sfw as well.

Can I send in asks about how I’m super special and have multiple legendaries who are all friends with me?

Sure, but Gingko is unlikely to believe you. I am open to a certain amount of Legendary/Mythical shenaniganry here, but Gingko isn't guaranteed to immediately take everything completely seriously (and also she might want to use you as some kind of case study!).

Can I reblog your headcanon posts/answered asks?

Absolutely! Feel free to do so both in or out of any character you may have. I will reblog back from you to continue the interaction if I have something to say and/or the energy, but please don't get upset if I don't; it's not a guarantee.

Are you a roleplay blog?

In the sense that I am answering these questions in-character as the fictional Prof. Gingko, yes. However, I am not interested in officially joining any roleplay settings or starting long-form roleplays. By all means send in asks from your own roleplay characters, and short in-character reblog chains are fun, but I have no interest in spinning off long, formally structured chains. I may join events if I have the energy or am directly invited. If in doubt, contact me OOC and we’ll discuss. I am quite open to this!

Why aren’t you talking about/mentioning [insert important real-world issue here]?

Because those belong to the real world, and the real world is depressing. I like to keep my headcanoning about the Pokemon setting fundamentally benevolent and positive. Feel free to send in asks referencing covid, climate change, race relations etc and I will answer them in the spirit meant to the best of my ability, but these will not be part of any independent, background worldbuilding I do. I will also not be reblogging any OOC real-world issue posts.

I am Chinese and would like to talk to you about how you depict Professor Gingko.

Contact me privately and off anon and we’ll talk. I’m not Chinese, and if I’m inadvertently being offensive I want to know. However, if you’re just going to tell me I’m in the wrong to base Gingko’s heritage on Chinese stuff at all, I’m not interested.

Why aren’t you updating this blog?

I have mental and physical health issues; sometimes I just don’t have the energy. I’ll probably come back to it later. Sorry for keeping you hanging.

Why haven’t you answered my ask?

Maybe you ran foul of my attitude check, or your ask got eaten by Tumblr, or the inbox is pretty full, or I’m tired, or away, or any number of reasons really. If it’s super-duper bothering you, contact me off anon and I’ll try and give you an answer. Please don’t send in tons and tons of asks about it, though, or I’m just going to get annoyed.

Can I send in questions and comments directed at you, the blogrunner, and not Gingko?

Yeah, but please mark them clearly as such, and if you’re being too nosy I won’t answer. What counts as ‘too nosy’ is for me to decide, because you’re asking about me.

I think you reblogged this thing/answered this ask to the wrong blog.

Oops. Thanks for letting me know.

Did you know that the last person whose ask you answered is a TERRIBLE PERSON?

Pics or it didn’t happen

[sobriquett]

Dear Candy Hearts Exchange Author,

Dear Candy Hearts Author,

Hello, and thank you for thinking about writing for me!

Please find below a summary of things I love in fic, things I don’t love, and then some further details and prompts by fandom. Also, if you’re looking for a beta reader in any of these fandoms (or any other fandom referenced in past dear author letters or on my AO3 page or Tumblr page, please get in touch.

Treats are enabled and very, very welcome!

Fandoms here are in alphabetical order to avoid the appearance of favouritism!

Likes:

5 Times | 5+1 Times | Alternate Ending | Angst | Babies & Children | Backstory | Banter/Bickering | Bittersweet | Canon Compliant | Canon Divergence | Character Death | Character Death Aftermath | Character Study | Class Distinction | Coming of Age | Competence | Complicated Sibling Relationships | Cultural Differences | Dark Fic | Debt & Financial Pressures | Despair | Domesticity | Different Worldviews | Enemies to Lovers | Epistolary | Examining Societal Issues | First Meetings | First Time | Fix-It | Fluff | Found Family | Friends to Enemies | Grief/Mourning | Grumpy Character/Sunshine Character | Historical Details | Humour | Hurt/Comfort | Last Time | Laws of Magic | Living Up/Down to Expectations | Long-Distance Friendship | Marriage of Convenience | Miscommunication | Missing Moment | Obeying Canonical Boundaries (Social/Cultural/Moral) | Outsider POV | Parent/Child Relationships | Pining | Platonic Intimacy | Poor Life Choices | Post-Canon | Power Dynamics | Pre-Canon | Presumed Dead | Protectiveness | Redemption | Religious Elements | Reunion | Romance | Sad Endings | Secret Relationships | Sobbing Hopelessly Into My Pillow | Uneven Power Dynamics | Unexpected Friendship | Unlikely Friendship | Unreliable Narrators | Wanderers | Whump | Worldbuilding

DNWs:

A/B/O Dynamics | Bestiality | Body Horror | Gore | Graphic On-Screen Depiction of Torture | Modern/Mundane AU | Mpreg | Explicit On-Screen Non-Con | Out of Context AU (e.g. coffee shop, college AU) | Scat | Vore

Smut-Specific Likes:

Biting/Marking | Bondage | Canon Compliant/Historically Appropriate (esp. period fandoms) | Desperate Sex | Dirty Talk | Dubcon | Edging/Orgasm Delay | Fingering | First Times | Fisting | Foreplay | Hair Pulling/Touching/Playing | Last Times | Loss of virginity (either/both/all partners) | Oral (any/all combinations/intensities/setups) | Porn with Feelings | Power Imbalance (Physical or Social/Financial/Other) | Restraint/Held Down | Rough Sex | Semi-Public Sex | Sensual Details | Vanilla Sex

Honestly, I am up for near anything that feels like it fits into the canon context and isn’t on my DNW list. Bonus points for anything I haven’t thought of that is really contextually appropriate!

Smut DNWs:

A/B/O | Anal sans lube | Animals | Anyone being called “Daddy” | Anything out of canon context | Bestiality | Blood (that is, excessive blood/intentional wounding) | Incest | Infantilisation | Petplay | Scat | Underage (by the standards of the period) | Vore

1. The Big Bang Theory

Amy & Bernadette & Penny Beverly & Leonard & Sheldon Howard & Leonard & Raj & Sheldon Penny & Leonard & Sheldon Leonard & Sheldon Raj/Howard Sheldon & Penny

This is a first-time fandom request for me, but it’s been my in-the-background tv while cooking/cleaning for the last several weeks, and I’ve just watched the last two seasons for the first time. It's weird to think that I've been watching this show for nearly half my life; no, it's not perfect, not even close, but it's fun and fluffy and easy and I like that. This is a canon I want more of, not more from - if you can capture the tone or spirit of the show, I'll be ecstatic.

Canon-typical anything Post-canon: what changes, what stays the same Does Sheldon ever grow his own Leonard Nimoy? A classic Bazinga Raj/Howard's ersatz homosexual marriage becomes explicit Personal growth and support, particularly for the women Characters playing board games (I'm a board gamer) Beverly writes a new book Sheldon (or anyone else!) conducts an experiment Outsider POV These characters as parents Moving house Penny finds success/fulfilment What is a happy ending for these characters? More Fun with Flags Managing/balancing time with more adult responsibilities (at least 6/7 main characters have children, all have careers and homes, etc.) Five times: hugging

2. Bridgerton (TV)

Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sharma Daphne Bridgerton & Kate Sharma Benedict Bridgerton & Kate Sharma Simon Basset & Kate Sharma Violet Bridgerton & Kate Sharma

Season 2 was not what I was expecting, and nor was it a terribly faithful adaptation of the book. (Not a bad thing in my opinion; I stopped reading the books because they were too ridiculous for me, but the show hits just right with its own flavour of absurdity.) To quote a previous exchange:

I was very, very “what the fuck” from the end of episode four right through to the end of the season, peaking in episode six with some what the actual FUCK, and basically watched it in one sitting on release day and into the night.

There’s so much potential for fun here; have at it!

Post-Gazebo fic – any consequences you please, or none at all Kate leaves for India Violet Bridgerton loses her position to Kate – her home, some of her responsibilities; how do both handle it? Daphne and Kate torment Anthony together Another incident with a bee What happened to Kate’s fear of storms? Somebody’s past comes back to haunt them An unfortunate item in Lady Whistledown’s latest issue Where is Simon in season 2? What does he think of all this? What does he have to say to Kate, Anthony, Daphne, anyone? Pall Mall Riding and racing Seasonal fic - spring, summer, autumn, winter; a typical (or exceptional) moment

3. Downton Abbey

Anna Bates & Mary Crawley Edith Crawley & Mary Crawley & Sybil Crawley Matthew Crawley/Mary Crawley

My tv comfort blanket! I’ve rewatched this most years since it was first on tv, although sometimes I stop watching after 04x01. (Fuck that rape storyline, seriously. The show has some fun stories after that but they’re always tangled up with some absolute nonsense, whereas I love 95%+ of S1-3. Even the angsty stuff!)

Pre-canon/first meetings/childhood Do the Crawley sisters keep in touch after any of their marriages? (Or a divergence - e.g. Edith marries Anthony, Mary marries Matthew in 1914) Do any of these characters have advice for others? Is it welcomed or resented, followed or discarded, sensible or mad? Bates is hanged, the story breaks; Anna and Mary go to America The inevitable passage of time Anything during the war, or WW2 if you want to go post-canon What if the Kemal Pamuk episode went differently? Do Anna and Mary talk about it again? Do Edith or Sybil actually overhear, does anything change? What if Mary and Matthew got together at any other time? Either as a one-off with regrets, or all the way to the altar? Matthew Crawley Lives/Sybil Crawley Lives Matthew/Sybil meet their children; what are they like as parents? Living in the gaps in the house routine (all relationships) - how do they fit a life in around all the meals and costume changes and clockwork routine of a big house? A break in dignity Do ghosts walk the halls of Downton Abbey? A moment of true despair Comfort and support A happily ever after What does the future hold?

4. The Gilded Age

Agnes van Rhijn & Ada Brook Agnes van Rhijn & Oscar van Rhijn Agnes van Rhijn & Peggy Scott Bertha Russell/George Russell Marian Brook & Peggy Scott Marian Brook/Larry Russell Marian Brook/Tom Raikes

I haven’t written or read in this fandom, but I really enjoyed the show. My period drama tastes normally run a little earlier (1800-1860) or later (1910-1960) and are almost entirely British, so this is new to me. I’m a raging history nerd, if you’d like to cater to that, and love a fic that delights in its historical context.

I love the complicated dynamics and tensions between the characters, their very different priorities and worldviews and the way they express or cling to or seize power.

Pre-canon moments, esp. for Agnes & Ada or Bertha/George What was Agnes’ marriage like? How was it for Ada and Oscar to live in their household? What if Marian had run away with Mr Raikes? Characters protecting one another Significant first name usage (this is a world of extremely rigid social rules – to break them or vary them is a big deal, and sign of considerable intimacy.) Does Ada have any power in her relationship with her sister? Peggy starts to find greater success as a writer – but the piece that’s raised her profile was a subject about which she should not have written Bertha or George Russell supporting one another (or any other relationship) Bertha/George have a disagreement about parenting their children (they each support their child of the opposite gender, but each want their other child to follow closely in their footprints) Dealing with a setback Epistolary fic – are characters writing to one another who shouldn’t? How do they send messages?

5. Star Trek: Voyager

Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway Kathryn Janeway & Tuvok

One of my favourite themes in fic for this fandom is the conflict between the isolation and aloofness demanded by Janeway’s command position (and particularly her strict views on this and the more pragmatic position others may take) and her own social and emotional needs. It’s an impossible position in impossible circumstances. I love the angst that comes from it, and I love it when a writer either works out a meaningful and thoughtful situation or deals with the consequences one way or another. There’s such rich soil for both of these relationships, in their different backgrounds and worldviews but their shared goals.

Command structure and interpersonal dynamics A moment of vulnerability Things they’ve lost, paths not taken Scuttlebutt Fix-it Resolutions fi Year of Hell fic A recurring gesture/a new habit Post-canon - keeping in touch/a new normal

6. The West Wing

CJ Cregg & Toby Ziegler Jed Bartlet & Leo McGarry Jed Bartlet & Toby Ziegler Joe Quincy & Ainsley Hayes & Cliff Calley Josh Lyman & Donna Moss Josh Lyman/Donna Moss Josh Lyman & Leo McGarry

Missing moments Platonic intimacy Quiet comfort/support in a difficult moment (Zoey's abduction, the MS fallout, Gaza incident etc.) Donna readjusts to the workplace after Gaza Workplace silliness/hijinks Post-canon/life after the Bartlet administration/life in the Santos administration Blurring lines of professionalism Being so very, very tired What happened to Ainsley Hayes? Why did she leave? Is there secretly a Bartlet Republicans club? Do they have an outisder POV of canon events? Campaign life - long days, buses, trains, planes, hotels, crap food Speaking in shorthand A press room incident A guy falls into a hole Pre-canon moments - first meetings Desperate pining (Josh or Donna or both) Friendship/love Donna keeps a diary. Entries? Does another character read it? Doing something stupid to protect someone Press intrusion into private lives Email chains/notes/memos in the office Women being awesome and holding their own Poker night Life under siege/under threat The passage of time - before and after the administration What if the S1 shooting went differently?

7. The Witcher (TV)

Geralt & Jaskier Geralt/Jaskier

I am finally coming to the end of Blood and Wine, having played through The Witcher 3 this year, but in terms of fic I’m still mostly reading in the TV fandom, so here we are. That said, please shovel in all the games references you want! I would particularly love anything in or around Toussaint, but TV canon-style. (I appreciate that this is a pain in the butt for any number of reasons, but handwave away!)

This is a fandom where I would prefer to avoid PWP. If there is plot, then porn is welcome, and trope-y goodness is very welcome – curses, spells, sex pollen, whatever. Just… a touch of plot.

Non-human Jaskier Post-mountain angst/pining Emotional support bard Music and singing Truth spells/compulsions Magic gone wrong/laws of magic/unexpected magic Post-canon for S2 Facing a monster from the bestiary/fulfilling a contract Character comes back wrong The nature of destiny The passage of time Enhanced senses Platonic intimacy Platonic intimacy that crosses a line! Looking out for each other

[aajjks]

“nobody should assume the member’s sexuality” but the thing is, everybody assumes their straight and will fight tooth and nail to the people who question that. i’m not coming in here to say all members are straight or all members are gay but i am coming on here to say some members just might not all be straight. now what i’m about to say, i already know everyone is going to have a negative reaction to but still, it’s just an example. shipping along the members. everybody is so quick to say they hate anybody who suggests two members of bts are dating or have done something sexual with each other but if you really don’t want to assume their sexualities, why is it such a bad thing people point out some of the queer things they’ve done? there are two members that have done some questionable things that everyone will say “they’re brothers” or “friends so that all the time” but let’s face a fact. they are not blood brothers. if they wanted to be together, they damn wee have every right to be. regardless of anyone’s opinion. they could be just friends, but i definitely do believe they have done something sexual with each other before. because of some of the proof we literally seen from the footage bighit has released. as a queer person myself, there are things i do with people i have a sexual relationship with that i wouldn’t do with my regular close best friends. i am not saying that because i “know” the two members i am talking about are in fact dating but i am saying that if they are, not only would i support them but i wouldn’t really be surprised. i would support them even if they were not dating each other but other men as well as as women. we do not know these men personally. we just know what little things they allow us to know. (not all of the members have came out and said they hated shipping. fan service, yeah but not the shipping. if there is a video or actual proof of each member agreeing or saying please provide a link and prove me wrong! i am open to being proven wrong.) even if they wanted to come out and tell everybody, they’re not like us, they don’t get that privilege. they are not only in the biggest and in the world, and coming out would effect multiple peoples career, but they live in korea. a place that has strong negative feelings about queer people. us on tumblr who write and read theses stories, we use these for our own little fantasies about these men that although we are attracted to, we know we’ll never get to be with them. most stories on here are male x female stories because it allows us to fulfill our little imagination. nothing is wrong with using these men we find attractive as our protagonist but there’s a problem with people believing our stories truly reflect on how the members themselves are. take jungkook for example. 8/10 stories on here, he’s a asshole, fuckboy, red flag. the real jungkook is literally a sweetheart who cried because army made a song for bts. he’s respectful, kind. people believe in their imagination more than they are willing to see the facts. i know religion plays a big part in everyone believing that namjoon, hobi, jin, jungkook, jimin, taehyung, yoongi are all straight and could never be with in a romantic relationship with a man but the truth is, they could be. assuming their gay shouldn’t be such a horrible thing when assuming they’re all straight is such a huge issue. these men could be queer and the only problem is, everybody will deny it until their last breath. with the shipping is kinda goes hand in hand with theses stories. “no you can’t think they could be dating each other! let’s go read about about the members eating pussy instead” that’s kinda homophonic.

the last thing i want to say is i’m not trying to come off as i’m attacking anyone specifically! i am just so tired of seeing so many people say that we should never assume their sexuality unless it’s because they’re straight. majority of fans will die on that hill. i never understood why the shipping was so hated on when the memberxyn was so welcomed. it’s all just in our little imagination. when you believe it has be to be this way or no way, that’s the problem. no, i am not a shopper myself, i was just using that as an example. i will support any member when and if they ever come out. with that being with their sexuality or relationships. with a man or with a women.

thank you for your thoughts, I personally have no opinion on the lgbtq+ community because I’m not part of it but I do hate shipping.

[strengthsbased]

rules

the mun:

aster, they/she, you know me from @parameddic and @detectiveconnor and maybe @talktoten if you’re oldschool

i’m 25+ and I will only write with people who are 18+. especially given the spaces that Duane works in, this is just an appropriate age for people who are on my blog. obviously happy to write with characters who are <18!

i am currently working full time and studying full time. i have health things and a cat. i promise i’m always trying, i’m just always tired also

please tag: brain tumours and brain damage, blood in the airways or mouth/nose, the 12th “doctor” from dw

on etiquette:

i don’t practice rb karma and i don’t expect you to.

i don’t rb from the source and i don’t expect you to.

callouts do not work and they are traumatic for everyone involved, these are statements of fact, i have the sources. i’ll block you if i see one you’ve rbed, i do not support social ostracisation and public humiliation

if you need me not to refollow you please hardblock me (or just give me a heads up using words), i will always assume it’s tumblr issues otherwise

i’m not psychic and i actively, flatly refuse to play guessing games, communicate with me properly or do not communicate with me at all

if i’m writing with you i’ve definitely read your rules. i don’t send passwords

fc is currently brian tyree henry, we’ll see how it goes, he is. close but i don’t think he’s quite right. also i have zero icons besides the one that’s my icon at the moment

this is a sideblog to @detectiveconnor for obvious reasons, Duane exists because of Connor!

Duane is not locked to the DBH verse or to Detroit in general, but that’s where he started and it will be his default verse unless otherwise mentioned

if you exclusively and only want to write one-liners this is not the blog for you

if you don’t like minor godmodding for the sake of plot advancement this is not the blog for you

if you expect and/or need replies regularly, quickly, when you demand them, or at any point other than exactly when i feel like writing replies, this is not the blog for you

trigger tagging format is: trigger tw

i’ll tag common triggers, and what you ask me to tag

on duane:

it probably will not be a focus point of the blog but duane does work with men who use violence on the regular. the phrase he will use to talk about this is “men who use violence” or “people who use violence”. it will be tagged as ‘domestic violence tw’ if the subject comes up at all, but I doubt it will

he will only ever use this sort of recovery-oriented language for any of the people he works with (besides communities who have expressly requested that people don’t do this e.g. autistic people, not people with autism). if the default to international mental-health-standard, recovery-oriented language bothers you this may not be the blog for you

duane is strengths-based and recovery-oriented. he’s a social worker. it’s not only when he’s doing the job, that’s just generally a disposition that he has

he’s bi, is not strictly monogamous but could be comfortable in monogamy, and he is not particularly attached to his gender but he uses only he/him pronouns. he’s not interested in dating anyone at this stage

he’s always wearing a silver necklace idk what’s on it he hasn’t told me. it might be a cross? i don’t know 

he still wears his wedding band, but not on his ring finger

meet him in: library, coffee shop, disaster recovery efforts, community hall or community centre, New Jericho when he’s updating his AFA or cross-cultural training, at his kid’s school, volunteering for litter collection around the park, stalking his favourite taco foodtruck via instagram 

[im-failing-at-dying]

I’m a therapist.

And I can’t stop thinking about self-harm.

I’ve been on tumblr since like 2010…it’s almost pitiful how I still have this blog that I visit when I’m feeling depressed or suicidal. I thought I would grow out of it, but I seem to always come back to it. It’s like I look for the dark because I’m afraid without it. My self harm behavior feels adolescent, but somehow it still captivates me and I believe its false promises. I think that maybe just one cut, or seeing a little blood would shut my feelings down.

So now I’m in therapy myself. Again. It’s strange to transition from one side of the couch to the other time and time again. I dissociate in session, I get awkward and silent, I try to maintain the facade of a put together therapist just talking to another therapist. I don’t let my walk down bc maybe I’m afraid the therapist on the other side will see who I truly am underneath the mask of this therapist that I call myself each day.

The truth is that I struggle with many mental illnesses. I am struggling with many negative thoughts right now. I am holding back from self-harm. I am experiencing flashbacks and nightmares and dissociative episodes. I am terrified of abandonment. I have a lot of issues.

And I am a therapist.

So if you’re reading this, I’m not exactly sure what the real message is that I’m trying to tell you. But I suppose I’m just trying to say that your therapist may actually understand what you’re going through. They’re in the field for a reason. They’re learning along with you. And they probably genuinely care. I know I care deeply about my clients even though I struggle to care for myself. And it’s often my clients that keep inspiring me to fight for my own healing along with theirs.

Keep fighting friends. ♥️👊🏼

[thebibliosphere]

Have you written any type of guide for, 'help, I'm having a mysterious medical issue and don't know where to start to get treated'? My chronic fatigue is to the point that I have to sleep for several hours upon coming home from work before I can do anything else, and I don't really know what to do. Do I just go to the doctor? Start googling? I've dealt with fatigue for a while and have always gotten the old 'you probably need more vitamin D' talk from doctors before.

I did at one point have a post, but I think because I included external links, the Tumblr search engine ate it.

And honestly, yes, you need to go to a doctor, which brings me to ask: are any of those doctors actually testing your vitamin D levels, or are they just assuming? Because if they're assuming, that's dangerous and you need to either push for testing or find a different doctor who takes you seriously. (Easier said than done, I know.)

When you have persistent chronic fatigue, it's good to make it clear to your doctor that this has become a chronic problem and isn't resolving with lifestyle changes. (Hint: if something lasts over 6 months, it's considered chronic. Some doctors will also accept 3 months as a good indicator that something isn't quite right and will start testing.) You may wish to give examples of what you have tried to forestall any "have you tried diet/exercise/mindfulness*" comments.

Regardless, they should run a full CBC blood test with differentials, which will look at things like your white blood cell count, red blood cell count, platelets, any irregularities, etc. They should also look at things like your iron level, folate levels, vitamin D levels, and a myriad of other things, including my good old friend, b12.

Long-term followers are likely sick of me harping on about how not every doctor thinks to run a basic b12 serum test paired with a homocysteine level test because moderate levels of folate can mask a b12 deficiency. But when incompetence almost kills you, it's sort of hard to stop harping on about how something so easy to treat can lead to serious, life-threatening complications**.

Other things you should get checked include your hormone levels and your thyroid. They may also look at your kidneys and liver, just to make sure nothing is amiss there. All of this can be done with blood testing and should be the first port of call for any doctor worth their degree. There are other things they may wish to look at, but those are some basic starting points you can ask for.

If a doctor refuses or says they think testing is unnecessary, tell them you want it noted in your file that they refuse to address your medical concerns and to explain their reasoning. I'd also suggest finding another doctor, but I know that isn't always feasible.

Having an advocate with you (which you are allowed to have!!!!) may also help your case. It's amazing what having another witness in the room can achieve, even if they're just a silent presence. If you decide to bring someone with you, make sure that person knows what capacity they are there as. Some people just want moral support, while others want someone to speak up for them if they notice us being gaslit/freezing up due to past medical trauma.

This is like, incredibly basic because I don't have the energy to write more right now, but I am sure others will have helpful comments in the notes as well for you to consider.

Good luck, and I hope you find answers and better days of rest ahead.

----

*These things can be valuable tools in maintaining health. But they are also not a substitute for competent medical care.

**For reference, my hematologist recommends anyone suffering from depression or low energy do the above test because you can be low in b12, but not technically deficient, which can still affect your mental health and energy.

[reanimatedcourier]

How to Write Indigenous Characters Without Looking like a Jackass:

Update as of December 26th, 2020: I have added a couple new sections about naming and legal terms, as well as a bit of reading on the Cherokee Princess phenomenon.

Boozhoo (hello) Fallout fandom! I'm a card-carrying Anishinaabe delivering this rough guide about writing Indigenous characters because wow, do I see a lot of shit.

Let's get something out of the way first: Fallout's portrayal of Indigenous people is racist. From a vague definition of "tribal" to the claims of them being "savage" and "uncivilized" mirror real-world stereotypes used to dehumanize us. Fallout New Vegas' narrated intro has Ron Perlman saying Mr. House "rehabilitated" tribals to create New Vegas' Three Families. You know. Rehabilitate. As if we are animals. Top it off with an erasure of Indigenous people in the American Southwest and no real tribe names, and you've got some pretty shitty representation. The absence of Native American as a race option in the GECK isn't too great, given that two Native characters are marked "Caucasian" despite being brown. Butch Deloria is a pretty well-known example of this effect. (Addendum: Indigenous people can have any mix of dominant and recessive traits, as well as present different phenotypes. What bothers me is it doesn't accommodate us or mixed people, which is another post entirely.)

As a precautionary warning: this post and the sources linked will discuss racism and genocide. There will also be discussion of multiple kinds of abuse.

Now, your best approach will be to pick a nation or tribe and research them. However, what follows will be general references.

Terms that may come up in your research include Aboriginal/Native Canadian, American Indian/Native American, Inuit, Métis, and Mestizo. The latter two refer to cultural groups created after the discovery of the so-called New World. (Addendum made September 5th, 2020: Mestizo has negative connotations and originally meant "half breed" so stick with referring to your mixed Latine and Indigenous characters as mixed Indigenous or simply by the name of their people [Maya, Nahua].)

As a note, not every mixed person is Métis or Mestizo. If you are, say, Serbian and Anishinaabe, you would be mixed, but not Métis (the big M is important here, as it refers to a specific culture). Even the most liberal definition caps off at French and British ancestry alongside Indigenous (some say Scottish and English). Mestizo works the same, since it refers to descendants of Spanish conquistadors/settlers and Indigenous people.

Trouble figuring out whose land is where? No problem, check out this map.

Drawing

Don't draw us with red skin. It's offensive and stereotypical.

Tutorial for Native Skintones

Tutorial for Mixed Native Skintones

Why Many Natives Have Long Hair (this would technically fit better under another category, but give your Native men long hair!)

If You're Including Traditional Wear, Research! It's Out There

Languages

Remember, there are a variety of languages spoken by Indigenous people today. No two tribes will speak the same language, though there are some that are close and may have loan words from each other (Cree and Anishinaabemowin come to mind). Make sure your Diné (you may know them as Navajo) character doesn't start dropping Cree words.

Here's a Site With a Map and Voice Clips

Here's an Extensive List of Amerindian Languages

Keep in mind there are some sounds that have no direct English equivalents. But while we're at it, remember a lot of us speak English, French, Spanish, or Portuguese. The languages of the countries that colonized us.

Words in Amerindian languages tend to be longer than English ones and are in the format of prefix + verb + suffix to get concepts across. Gaawiin miskwaasinoon is a complete sentence in Anishinaabemowin, for example (it is not red).

Names

Surprisingly, we don't have names like Passing Dawn or Two-Bears-High-Fiving in real life. A lot of us have, for lack of better phrasing, white people names. We may have family traditions of passing a name down from generation to generation (I am the fourth person in my maternal line to have my middle name), but not everyone is going to do that. If you do opt for a name from a specific tribe, make sure you haven't chosen a last name from another tribe.

Baby name sites aren't reliable, because most of the names on there will be made up by people who aren't Indigenous. That site does list some notable exceptions and debunks misconceptions.

Here's a list of last names from the American census.

Indian Names

You may also hear "spirit names" because that's what they are for. You know the sort of mystical nature-related name getting slapped on an Indigenous character? Let's dive into that for a moment.

The concept of a spirit name seems to have gotten mistranslated at some point in time. It is the name Creator calls you throughout all your time both here and in the spirit world. These names are given (note the word usage) to you in a ceremony performed by an elder. This is not done lightly.

A lot of imitations of this end up sounding strange because they don't follow traditional guidelines. (I realize this has spread out of the original circle, but Fallout fans may recall other characters in Honest Hearts and mods that do this. They have really weird and racist results.)

If you're not Indigenous: don't try this. You will be wrong.

Legal Terms

Now, sometimes the legal term (or terms) for a tribe may not be what they refer to themselves as. A really great example of this would be the Oceti Sakowin and "Sioux". How did that happen, you might be wondering. Smoky Mountain News has an article about this word and others, including the history of these terms.

For the most accurate information, you are best off having your character refer to themselves by the name their nation uses outside of legislation. A band name would be pretty good for this (Oglala Lakota, for example). I personally refer to myself by my band.

Cowboys

And something the Fallout New Vegas fans might be interested in, cowboys! Here's a link to a post with several books about Black and Indigenous cowboys in the Wild West.

Representation: Stereotypes and Critical Thought

Now, you'll need to think critically about why you want to write your Indigenous character a certain way. Here is a comprehensive post about stereotypes versus nuance.

Familiarize yourself with tropes. The Magical Indian is a pretty prominent one, with lots of shaman-type characters in movies and television shows. This post touches on its sister tropes (The Magical Asian and The Magical Negro), but is primarily about the latter.

Say you want to write an Indigenous woman. Awesome! Characters I love to see. Just make sure you're aware of the stereotypes surrounding her and other Women of Color.

Word to the wise: do not make your Indigenous character an alcoholic. "What, so they can't even drink?" You might be asking. That is not what I'm saying. There is a pervasive stereotype about Drunk Indians, painting a reaction to trauma as an inherent genetic failing, as stated in this piece about Indigenous social worker Jessica Elm's research. The same goes for drugs. Ellen Deloria is an example of this stereotype.

Familiarize yourself with and avoid the Noble Savage trope. This was used to dehumanize us and paint us as "childlike" for the sake of a plot device. It unfortunately persists today.

Casinos are one of the few ways for tribes to make money so they can build homes and maintain roads. However, some are planning on diversifying into other business ventures.

There's a stereotype where we all live off government handouts. Buddy, some of these long-term boil water advisories have been in place for over twenty years. The funding allocated to us as a percentage is 0.39%: less than half a percent to fight the coronavirus. They don't give us money.

"But what about people claiming to be descended from a Cherokee princess?" Cherokee don't and never had anything resembling princesses. White southerners made that up prior to the Civil War. As the article mentions, they fancied themselves "defending their lands as the Indians did".

Also, don't make your Indigenous character a cannibal. Cannibalism is a serious taboo in a lot of our cultures, particularly northern ones.

Our lands are not cursed. We don't have a litany of curses to cast on white people in found footage films. Seriously. We have better things to be doing. Why on earth would our ancestors be haunting you when they could be with their families? Very egotistical assumption.

Indigenous Ties and Blood Quantum

Blood quantum is a colonial system that was initially designed to "breed out the Indian" in people. To dilute our bloodlines until we assimilated properly into white society. NPR has an article on it here.

However, this isn't how a vast majority of us define our identities. What makes us Indigenous is our connections (or reconnection) to our families, tribes, bands, clans, and communities.

Blood quantum has also historically been used to exclude Black Natives from tribal enrollment, given that it was first based on appearance. So, if you looked Black and not the image of "Indian" the white census taker had in his brain, you were excluded and so were your descendants.

Here are two tumblrs that talk about Black Indigenous issues and their perspectives. They also talk about Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people of Australia.

However, if you aren't Indigenous, don't bring up blood quantum. Don't. This is an issue you should not be speaking about.

Cherokee Princess Myth

"Princess" was not a real position in any tribe. The European idea of monarchy did not suddenly manifest somewhere else. The closest probable approximation may have been the daughter of a chief or other politically prominent person. But princess? No.

Here is an article talking about possible origins of this myth. Several things are of note here: women from other tribes may have bee shoved under this label and the idea of a "Cherokee Princess" had been brought up to explain the sudden appearance of a brown-skinned (read: half Black) family member.

For a somewhat more in depth discussion of why, specifically, this myth gets touted around so often, Timeline has this piece.

Religion

Our religions are closed. We are not going to tell you how we worship. Mostly because every little bit we choose to share gets appropriated. Smudging is the most recent example. If you aren't Indigenous, that's smoke cleansing. Smudging is done in a specific way with ceremonies and prayers.

Now, a lot of us were forcibly converted. Every residential school was run by Christians. So plenty of us are Catholic, Baptist, Anglican, Lutheran, etc. Catholicism in Latin America also has influence from the Indigenous religions in that region.

Having your Indigenous character pray or carry rosaries wouldn't be a bad thing, if that religion was important to them. Even if they are atheist, if they lived outside of a reserve or other Indigenous communities, they might have Christian influences due to its domination of the Western world.

Settler Colonialism and the White Savior Trope

Now we've come to our most painful section yet. Fallout unintentionally has an excellent agent of settler-colonialism, in particular the Western Christian European variety, in Caesar's Legion and Joshua Graham.

(Addendum: Honest Hearts is extremely offensive in its portrayal of Indigenous people, and egregiously shows a white man needing to "civilize" tribals and having to teach them basic skills. These skills include cooking, finding safe water, and defending themselves from other tribes.)

Before we dive in, here is a post explaining the concept of cultural Christianity, if you are unfamiliar with it.

We also need to familiarize ourselves with The White Man's Burden. While the poem was written regarding the American-Philippine war, it still captures the attitudes toward Indigenous folks all over the world at the time.

As this article in Teen Vogue points out, white people like to believe they need to save People of Color. You don't need to. People of Color can save themselves.

Now, cultural Christianity isn't alone on this side of the pond. Writer Teju Cole authored a piece on the White Savior Industrial Complex to describe mission trips undertaken by white missionaries to Africa to feed their egos.

Colonialism has always been about the acquisition of wealth. To share a quote from this paper about the ongoing genocide of Indigenous peoples: "Negatively, [settler colonialism] strives for the dissolution of native societies. Positively, it erects a new colonial society on the expropriated land base—as I put it, settler colonizers come to stay: invasion is a structure not an event. In its positive aspect, elimination is an organizing principal of settler-colonial society rather than a one-off (and superseded) occurrence. The positive outcomes of the logic of elimination can include officially encouraged miscegenation, the breaking-down of native title into alienable individual freeholds, native citizenship, child abduction, religious conversion, resocialization in total institutions such as missions or boarding schools, and a whole range of cognate biocultural assimilations. All these strategies, including frontier homicide, are characteristic of settler colonialism. Some of them are more controversial in genocide studies than others." (Positive, here, is referring to "benefits" for the colonizers. Indigenous people don't consider colonization beneficial.)

An example of a non-benefit, the Church Rock disaster had Diné children playing in radioactive water so the company involved could avoid bad publicity.

Moving on, don't sterilize your Indigenous people. Sterilization, particularly when it is done without consent, has long been used as a tool by the white system to prevent "undesirables" (read, People of Color and disabled people) from having children. Somehow, as of 2018, it wasn't officially considered a crime.

The goal of colonization was to eliminate us entirely. Millions died because of exposure to European diseases. Settlers used to and still do separate our children from us for reasons so small as having a dirty dish in the sink. You read that right, a single dirty dish in your kitchen sink was enough to get your children taken and adopted out to white families. This information was told to me by an Indigenous social work student whose name I will keep anonymous.

It wasn't until recently they made amendments to the Indian Act that wouldn't automatically render Indigenous women non-status if they married someone not Indigenous. It also took much too long for Indigenous families to take priority in child placement over white ones. Canada used to adopt Indigenous out to white American families. The source for that statement is further down, but adoption has been used as a tool to destroy cultures.

I am also begging you to cast aside whatever colonialist systems have told you about us. We are alive. People with a past, not people of the past, which was wonderfully said here by Frank Waln.

Topics to Avoid if You Aren't Indigenous

Child Separation. Just don't. We deserve to remain with our families and our communities. Let us stay together and be happy that way.

Assimilation schools. Do not bring up a tool for cultural genocide that has left lasting trauma in our communities.

W/ndigos. I don't care that they're in Fallout 76. They shouldn't be. Besides, you never get them right anyway.

Sk/nwalkers. Absolutely do not. Diné stories are not your playthings either.

I've already talked about drugs and alcohol. Do your research with compassion and empathy in mind. Indigenous people have a lot of pain and generational trauma. You will need to be extremely careful having your Indigenous characters use drugs and alcohol. If your character can be reduced to their (possible) substance abuse issues, you need to step back and rework it. As mentioned in Jessica Elm's research, remember that it isn't inherent to us.

For our final note: remember that we're complex, autonomous human beings. Don't use our deaths to further the stories of your white characters. Don't reduce us to some childlike thing that needs to be raised and civilized by white characters. We interact with society a little differently than you do, but we interact nonetheless.

Meegwetch (thank you) for reading! Remember to do your research and portray us well, but also back off when you are told by an Indigenous person.

This may be updated in the future, it depends on what information I come across or, if other Indigenous people are so inclined, what is added to this post.

[gffa]

I'm pretty new to the sw tumblr fandom, would you mind telling me what the pro/anti jedi "discourse" is about? absolutely understand if you don't have the time for that of course haha

Hi! Oh, I’ve tried like five separate times to write a short summary of What Jedi Discourse Is About, but it’s hard for me to put into a nutshell, because I really want to try to be fair and objective, but also I have experienced a lot of shit in this fandom and I’ve lost a lot of patience for it.  (This is not aimed at you!  This message was totally fine, I’m just still disgusted with some people’s behaviors towards other fans..) As short as I can make it:  While people run the gamut from “the Jedi were monsters and a cult and they hated Anakin and it was their fault he fell and Order 66 was totally deserved” to “well, the Jedi were pretty awful, but the babies didn’t deserve to be murdered, I guess” to “the Jedi did some things wrong and some things right” to “the Jedi were right and their decisions were understandable because there just weren’t any good choices”, and many people are incredibly insufferable about it along the way, whether anti-, neutral-, or pro-, as all subsections of fandom are, and there is a very common tendency for pro-Jedi fans to get bombarded with people trying to argue with them. (There was a time when I literally could not make one single post about the Jedi without someone trying to tell me how wrong I was.  This is why my anon is off and why I block when people are only here to argue.  Things are calmer now, but sometimes people still get a bug up their ass and won’t leave us alone--sometimes for literally A YEAR they’ll keep badgering someone.) The discourse is usually centered around the definition of “attachment”, whether or not the Jedi were a cult, the idea that the Jedi suppress emotions, the Jedi were baby thieves, the Jedi were totally cool with slavery, the Jedi were corrupt and stagnant and bad for being drafted into the war, the Jedi were super mean to Anakin and it’s their fault he fell, the Jedi weren’t blood families so they don’t really count as family, the Jedi kiiiiiiinda deserved their own genocide because they weren’t nice enough, etc. There are plenty of people who are chill about their Jedi criticisms and I usually get along pretty well with them (babes, this post isn’t about you guys, I promise), but there are a LOT of people whose behavior is fucking atrocious towards pro-Jedi fans and that has kind of poisoned the water between us in a lot of ways, so when we’re talking about the shitty behavior in fandom, it’s about the people who just will not leave us alone or who constantly feel the need to come yell at us on our posts. Basically, it’s about a lot of different issues (I feel like if I listed them all, it’d just be starting things up again), usually centered on whether or not the Jedi were emotionally healthy, whether or not they were corrupt for fighting in the war, and whether or not they were responsible for Anakin’s choices.  Pro-Jedi fans feel that Lucas’ commentary is very “the Jedi are right about the Force and they really didn’t have any better options about joining the war and Anakin’s fall is his own fucking fault” and that a lot of criticisms the Jedi get are bad faith, unsupported by the actual source material, or outright racist because of their Buddhist influences and that much of what gets criticized is those Buddhist origins. But it’s a complex, many-tentacled issue, so that’s the best overview I can give, as well as, you know, I am pro-Jedi so my experiences are from the pro-Jedi side, I register these things far stronger than someone who has a different experience!

[defectivehero]

portfolio

Hello there! My name’s Case, and I'm the writer behind this blog! Here are some of the pieces I'm most proud of. 

Publications

Gilded Grief

Fwd: Museums Journal | 2023 Issue: [Redacted]

Here on Tumblr...

a detective’s burden |

“You’re too late.”

“You think I don’t know that?” the detective snaps, entirely unable to stop the words from falling from their tongue. Their hands are trembling at their sides, and they dig their nails into their palms in a half-hearted attempt at maintaining control. “I am always too late. Every single time.”

----------

down by the sea |

“I like your necklace,” the hero whispers. The villain’s heart breaks into jagged pieces right there, scattering over the sand and getting lost to the wind. They swallow hard, trying desperately to ignore the watery feeling in their eyes and the heaviness at their chest.

“It’s-” the villain tries to say, only for the words to fail them. It’s not mine sticks in their throat. They shake their head. The hero nods in understanding and, not for the first time, the villain wishes their enemy were less clever.

----------

pins and needles |

“Seriously?” the villain seethes, surprised at how calm their voice sounds, despite the red-hot rage burning in their heart. They’re not quite sure why they feel so indignant on the hero’s behalf. It probably has something to do with the absolutely devastated expression on the hero’s face, or the cloudiness in their eyes. “We’ve talked about this.” Several times, in fact.

----------

on the brink | 

“I’m sorry,” the hero whispers, their voice soft and sharp all at once. The villain blinks at them, a bit thrown by the unexpected apology. Unexpected and unwanted, they think to themselves. “You’re just not a good person.” 

----------

fallen star | 

“Go to sleep,” their enemy whispers, pulling the hero to their chest. The hero can hardly feel the villain’s grip on them, despite their proximity and the way they’re effortlessly lifted up to a sitting position.

“Let go of me,” the hero mutters dazedly, pushing them away with hands that have too many fingers.

----------

not yours, never yours | 

“I don’t want to be a monster,” the fledgeling vampire spits out, droplets of blood falling from their lips and forever tainting their skin. Their sire laughs, a beautiful and enchanting sound that rings in their ears.

“I told myself the very same thing, all those years ago,” the vampire says, kneeling down to their level. There’s kindness in his eyes, but the fledgeling is intimately aware of the mockery that lies hidden beneath the surface. This vampire—their sire—does not truly pity them. “Unfortunately, fate doesn't succumb to desire.”

----------

a mild disagreement | 

“No,” the villain hissed, immediately after the hero finished explaining their plans for the next day. “No way. I’m not allowing you to do that.”

“I wasn’t asking for your permission,” the hero snapped, their temper getting the better of them. “I just wanted to tell you, in case you were to come looking for me again.”

-> my masterlist is also a good resource. it’s essentially a collection of most of my pieces.

[askagamedev]

How do you deal with fading passion of working on a game that you no longer recognize after changes in direction and design?

Today's topic follows along after [yesterday's post about professionalism and disagreements with project leadership on making decisions]. This situation is essentially an escalated version of yesterday's. Each situation like yesterday's causes some amount of emotional damage to morale, especially if I'm emotionally invested in the work I'm doing. Smaller amounts of damage can be healed over time, but regular and constant damage will wear me down over time. This damage is commonly known as stress. 

If you don’t deal with stress damage properly, it accumulates over time. The early warning signs are things like loss of optimism, anxiety, fatigue, irritability, avoidance of stressors, and even physical symptoms (changes in sleeping patterns, grinding or clenching teeth, neck and shoulder tension, etc.). When stress damage builds up over time, we start seeing chronic stress symptoms - apathy, anger, procrastination, tendency to panic, and physical symptoms like exhaustion or intensification of existing stress-related physical symptoms. 

Too much stress damage ultimately results in burnout - the state where I no longer care about things and begin to withdraw from the work and the project. Burnout is a state that many experienced game devs are familiar with. The main signs of burnout trend toward escape - I feel empty inside, I have a pessimistic outlook on life, I start detaching from things (”it’s not my problem”, “my part works”, etc.), and I generally just wish for things to be over (or even just my part to be over). Burnout is essentially the state my body goes into when it has realized that the stress isn’t going away and is here for the long haul. It isn’t an easy state to recover from - it requires a lot of time for both healing and re-establishing a new normal. That recalibration time can take weeks, months, or even years.

There are mitigating practices we can do to reduce the overall damage we take from stress. Taking regular breaks - not just physical, but mental breaks (fully stop thinking about the issues causing the stress) - does a lot to mitigate stress damage as it comes in. Regular physical exercise actually also does a lot to help alleviate stress damage. Our minds and our bodies are connected, after all, so getting the blood flowing and getting the body regularly producing hormones like serotonin and adrenaline will help a lot. Keep your physical health and nutrition in mind as well - make sure you’re getting the necessary vitamins and nutrients. Beyond this, I try to make sure that I regularly take some time to do things that make me happy. 

Eventually, things will end one way or another. Projects eventually ship or get cancelled. Crunch ends. People move on. If I realize that I am approaching my stress/burnout threshold and there’s no other end in sight, I look for an exit strategy - a new job or a new project to move to, because I realize that staying on the current project long term is unsustainable. That can mean leaving the company or just switching to a new project. Talking to my lead about this can be helpful, even if it is my lead who is the direct cause of the stress. If my lead is unhelpful in this regard, it also encourages a solution - leave the company and find employment elsewhere. Optimally, I’m looking for a status quo where the regular stress damage is fully mitigated and not something that will accumulate over time. That isn’t always available with all projects, but having a strategy for both mitigation and exiting helps a lot.

[Join us on Discord] and/or [Support us on Patreon]

The FANTa Project is being rebooted. [What is the FANTa project?]

Got a burning question you want answered?

Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on Twitter

Long questions: Ask a Game Dev on Tumblr

Frequent Questions: The FAQ

[purrincess-chat]

Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH21

We’ve done it! We’re caught up to AO3! As such, I will be taking the next month off from posting to get AO3 updated and take a short break. I will resume posting on AO3 first, then tumblr right after starting on July 2, 2021! Can’t wait for you all to see the rest of this story! I have a lot of changes coming.

Previous    First    Next      AO3

------------------------------

Chapter 21: Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince

The next morning, Adrien’s stomach churned on the way to school. Chloe sat beside him adjusting her makeup while Gorilla was stopped at a red light. Everyone would know about their interview now. He expected backlash, but not like this. Pulling out his phone, he opened the article again.

Ladybug’s #1 Fan Deletes Blog After Scathing Final Video

“It’s like I don’t even know who she is anymore. I thought she was this amazing, genuine person, but in reality, she doesn’t care about any of us,” Alya said in the clip.

“Sources speculate this video was posted in response to the interview Ladybug did prior yesterday afternoon with the daughter of Paris’s own Mayor Bourgeois and the son of famous fashion mogul, Gabriel Agreste. In the interview, Ladybug denounced clout-chasers using her name to get attention, stating that such actions are “dangerous” and “need to stop.” The blogger behind the popular Ladyblog seemed to find fault with these comments and was akumatized shortly after the interview. It seems that bad blood has brewed between the blogger and the heroine even after the day was saved. The Ladyblogger posted one final video lashing out at the superheroine before deleting her blog altogether.”

“Ugh, stop reading that. Who cares?” Chloe groaned, swiping Adrien’s phone from his hands. “That brat doesn’t have brain cells if she believes a nobody like Lila over a superhero.”

“Alya devoted a lot of time to that blog, and she really looked up to Ladybug. She’s probably crushed right now,” Adrien said.

Chloe rolled her eyes and pulled out her lip gloss. “So let her be. She did this to herself by siding with that wannabe. If any of these losers have a brain, then Lila’s going to be finished today. I’ll be shocked if she’s even here.”

“Uh, I think we have other things to worry about.” Adrien pointed to the crowd waiting at the bottom of the stairs as their car rolled up to the curb. Their classmates had formed a wall between them and the inside of the school like a group of knights defending their queen. Lila was waiting safely inside, no doubt. She never liked getting her hands dirty unless she had to.

“You don’t think she’ll get away with this and make everyone hate us, do you?” Adrien asked.

“Everyone already hates me, Adrikins. I have nothing to lose.” Chloe snapped her compact shut and dropped it into her purse. “But it looks like we’ll have to finish the job ourselves. I’m going to need a spa day after working so hard.”

A pit tangled in Adrien’s stomach as they climbed from the car, the angry expressions of their classmates sending a chill up his spine. When they’d done the interview, Adrien expected everyone to be mad at Lila, not him. How did she weasel her way out of this one?

“Oh, look who decided to show up,” Alya said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Where’s your bff Ladybug?”

“She’s got better things to do than worry about you losers,” Chloe said without missing a beat, completely undeterred by the mob in front of them. “Now, move, you’re blocking the stairs.”

“Ya know, I’ve always known you were evil, but this is really low, even for you.” Alya shook her head.

“Yeah! Tricking Ladybug is way uncool, Chloe,” Nino said.

“Yeah!” Several classmates echoed their agreement.

“Ladybug spoke the honest truth. All I did was ask the questions.” Chloe examined her nails.

“Stop pretending to be innocent. I overheard you and Adrien plotting to trick Ladybug into saying incriminating things about Lila, so don’t even lie to us.” Alya shot Adrien a glare that cut through his chest like a knife. “And what do you have to say for yourself? Teaming up with the wicked witch. We all thought you denounced Chloe’s actions, but I guess the silver spoon doesn’t fall far from the table.”

“Ugh, she’s delusional. Come on, Adrikins.” Chloe tugged his arm, but he remained rooted in place.

“No, she’s right. Chloe and I did conspire to trick Ladybug into admitting she and Lila were never friends,” Adrien said, and Chloe shot him a warning glare. “But that’s not actually what happened.”

“Really? So you two didn’t do a live interview where Ladybug said she doesn’t have any non-superhero friends?” Alya quirked a brow.

“Chloe and I originally planned to trick Ladybug, yes, but I didn’t feel right about it, so before the interview, I told Ladybug the truth. She went into that interviewing knowing what we were going to ask her, and she agreed,” Adrien said.

“What?” Chloe gasped.

“What Ladybug said was her choice. Lila’s lies have gotten out of hand, and she knows that better than anyone,” Adrien said.

“Why should we believe you?” Nathaniel grunted. “You teamed up with Chloe, so obviously you’re not the innocent sunshine boy everyone thinks you are.”

“Yeah, Chloe’s the worst!” Sabrina shouted, and Chloe’s gaze locked on her.

“How dare you! You’re not allowed to side with those losers. Get over here!” Chloe demanded, but Alya draped an arm around Sabrina’s shoulders.

“She’s done putting up with your crud, Chloe. We all are,” Alya said. “Lila hasn’t done anything to deserve all the hate from you or Marinette or Ladybug or anybody!”

“So, you losers are really going to believe some random girl who walked in off the street and started telling all of these amazing stories without evidence to back them up over a superhero?” Chloe cocked a hip. “You’re all more pathetic than I thought.”

“You’re the pathetic one! You two and Marinette have been plotting against Lila for weeks, haven’t you?” Alya shot back.

“Whoa, Marinette has nothing to do with any of this,” Adrien said. “This was all me and Chloe.”

“I heard you two talking. You said you were doing it for Marinette, or did I hear you incorrectly?” Alya challenged.

Adrien sighed. “No, we did say that, and I did do it for Marinette.”

“Ha!”

“But not because she told me to.” Adrien took a deep breath and turned to his classmates. “All of you, don’t you miss Marinette? Rose, don’t you miss when she would bring you extra fabric for your scrapbook projects? And Nathaniel, don’t you miss when she’d offer suggestions for your comic books?”

When they remained quiet, he continued, “Marinette left this school feeling hurt and empty. She felt like all of her friends turned their backs on her for a new girl. She poured her heart and soul into everything she did here, and Lila drove her away. Marinette knew the truth, so Lila threatened to take everything away from her. And she did which is why I teamed up with Chloe to stop her. Marinette doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. Not after everything she’s done.”

Everyone was quiet. Even Alya’s resolve seemed shaken, but she squared her shoulders.

“I can’t believe you when you’re standing next to her.” She nodded at Chloe.

Kim pursed his lips, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I dunno, it doesn’t make sense. Marinette would never do something like that. Adrien can be protective of people he cares about, but that doesn’t make him a bad guy.”

“Yeah, Marinette is like the nicest person in the world. She’d never go against someone without a reason, especially if it involves teaming up with Chloe,” Alix agreed.

“And Marinette was always looking out for everyone before Lila showed up,” Ivan said.

They moved to stand beside Adrien, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

“Well, I’m not siding with Chloe, even if Marinette was nice to me sometimes.” Nathaniel crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, I’m done being your bff. You’ll have to get someone else to do your homework from now on,” Sabrina said with a humph.

Myléne flicked her gaze between the forming groups, curling her shoulders. “Sorry, but they’re right. Chloe is always being mean. I don’t really think Marinette is involved, but this seems very typical for Chloe.”

Max tapped his chin with one finger. “It’s true that this type of behavior is very typical of Chloe, but senseless cruelty is atypical of Adrien. However, acting in defense of a dear friend is a trait Adrien and Marinette have demonstrated on numerous occasions, and Lila’s stories can be outlandish at times. Then there’s the issue of the interview with Ladybu-”

“Oh, just pick a side!” Chloe groaned.

“I-” Max glanced between his friends. “I am choosing to abstain from taking sides until I have further evidence. Both Lila and Marinette are my friends.”

“Ugh, whatever. What about you two?” Chloe turned to Juleka and Rose.

Juleka mumbled something no one understood but moved to stand by Alix. Rose cupped a hand over her mouth, shifting between Alya and Adrien.

“Rose?” Adrien prompted.

Her shoulders curled, and she squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t want to pick! I don’t want anyone to fight anymore.” She covered her face with a whimper, and Nino placed a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s gonna be alright,” he said.

“Nino?” Adrien asked hopefully, but his best bud lowered his head, red cap covering his eyes.

“Sorry, bro. I know you and Chloe have always been tight, but that doesn’t mean she and I have to be,” Nino said, taking a purposeful step toward Alya.

“Well, looks like more people are on my side than yours.” Chloe gloated.

“Hold up,” Alix said. “No one on this side picked you. We just believe Marinette is innocent, and Adrien was acting to protect her.”

“Yeah, you’re still the worst. We’re on Marinette’s team,” Ivan added. Chloe scowled but didn’t argue further.

A cold anger burned behind Alya’s eyes, the hurt she was feeling bubbling just beneath the surface. Adrien shivered. This wasn’t what he wanted when they did the interview. He wanted everyone to be free from Lila’s influence, especially Alya, but Lila’s hooks were in too deep. He never should have let things get this bad. If he’d acted sooner, then Marinette never would have left. Their classmates would be free, and no one would have to feel torn.

When the bell rang, their classmates dispersed, filing into the school one-by-one. Chloe fell into step beside Adrien.

“Now what?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I need time to forget about the fact that I’m Team Marinette.” Chloe shuddered.

“We’ve got enough people who at least believe Marinette is innocent, but we can’t get too cocky. That’s not the same thing as believing Lila is guilty,” Adrien said.

“We’ll figure something out. We just need time and a little precision,” Chloe said.

Adrien gulped, gripping the strap on his bag tighter. For their sake, he hoped they thought of something soon.

♪♫♪ Learn to Let Go ♪♫♪

“Take a deep breath in,” Macy said.

Marinette sat cross-legged on a bright blue yoga mat. Sunlight streaming in from the skylights warmed Marinette’s bare shoulders while soothing music played softly in the background. After the past few days, Marinette’s anxiety was at an all-time high, so a meditation session was in order. She followed Macy’s instructions, but it did little to relax her.

“Now, breathe out all of that negative energy. Let it all leave your body,” Macy continued. “Think of all the things in your life that make you happy and push out the things that don’t.”

Marinette took another breath, but the events of the last two days flashed vividly in her mind. The interview, Ladyblogger, the hurt look in Alya’s eyes when Ladybug captured her akuma, the video… Marinette breathed out.

Alya deleted the Ladyblog. Lila had done the impossible and turned Ladybug’s biggest fan into one of her biggest detractors. Granted, Ladybug might have helped by replacing Rena Rouge, but what was Marinette supposed to do? Working with Alya wasn’t an option after everything—it would have been too painful. Even still, Marinette would be lying if she said watching Alya lose faith in Ladybug didn’t rip another hole in her chest. Despite ending their friendship, Marinette still wished Alya the best, even if she was running with Lila.

“You’re not letting go of the negative energy,” Macy said.

Marinette blinked her eyes open and sighed, letting her posture fall. “Sorry, it’s been a rough few days.”

Macy turned to face Marinette with a smile. “Why don’t we talk about it instead? Maybe it will help if you get it all off your chest.”

“Maybe…” Marinette picked at a loose thread on her pants. She shifted to face Macy, chest tight. “It’s just…my old school. When I left, I didn’t want to look back, but it feels like no matter what I do, I can’t leave it behind.”

“Well, you had a lot of friends at your old school, right? It’s not easy to walk away from people you care about,” Macy said. “Especially when you know someone is using them.”

“I guess.” Marinette hugged her knees to her chest. “I thought I’d been gone long enough to not care anymore, but when Alya got akumatized, I just felt so sad.”

“Of course, you did! She was your best friend.” Macy pulled the tea table closer and prepared a cup. “It’s not easy to see someone you love in that much pain. You’re not a robot, Marinette. It’s okay to care.”

Macy pushed a cup toward her, but when she made no move to accept it, Macy changed the subject. “What about Adrien? Have you heard from him?”

Marinette flicked her gaze to her phone and shook her head. “No. Not since yesterday. I think he’s avoiding me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I dunno.” Marinette shrugged. “He’s been texting me all the time lately, but now all of a sudden, he just stopped.”

“Boys are flaky like that sometimes. Give him time. I’m sure he’ll come around,” Macy assured her.

“I know, and I know it’s probably because of the interview he did with Ladybug.” Marinette sighed. “He probably thinks I’m mad at him.”

“How do you know?” Macy asked.

Marinette shifted to tuck her legs under the table and pulled her cup closer. She stared at her reflection in the tea and shrugged. “Because I thought the same thing when I changed schools behind his back. I thought he’d be disappointed.”

“Was he?” Macy asked.

“No, but I didn’t know that until he talked to me.” Marinette took a long sip. “I just feel bad that he did all of that for me. He shouldn’t have to deal with my problems.”

Macy surveyed her with a frown. “That’s something I’ve noticed about you, ya know,” she said thoughtfully. “You’re quick to shoulder everyone’s burdens when you think they need help, but you never expect anyone to do it for you.”

“I just want to be there for my friends, that’s all.” Marinette deflected as if it were no big deal, but Macy shot her a chiding look.

“Marinette, that’s very noble and sweet, but the same is true for you, ya know,” Macy said. “Everyone else’s burdens aren’t yours to bear. You’re going to break your back carrying so much weight around.” When Marinette remained quiet, Macy sighed. “Well, then I guess I have no choice.”

“What do you mean?” Marinette blinked up at her.

“If you’re running head-first into everyone’s problems, then I’m coming too,” Macy said. “I’m not going to let you do it all alone, and I don’t think Martin and Eliott will either. Adrien certainly isn’t.”

“But-”

“Marinette!” Macy threw her head back with a groan. “What I’m trying to say is… Your friends have your back, okay? So don’t worry about anything. We’re right behind you all the way.”

Macy’s smile was soft and genuine, and Marinette shivered, the fear and uncertainty floating to the surface. She leaned against Macy’s chest as fresh tears streamed down her cheeks, and her friend patted her hair, whispering encouragement while Marinette sobbed. The dull ache that had plagued her all month lightened as each tear carried away her pain.

Macy didn’t let go until her whimpers quieted, and when Marinette sat up, the weight on her shoulders felt lighter. She took a deep breath and exhaled all of her worry just like Macy said. Even if she didn’t have her old friends anymore, she had new ones, and she had to admit—they were pretty hard to beat.

♪♫♪ Daylight ♪♫♪

Adrien faced his mother’s statue in the garden with a sigh. Things were messier now than they had been a few days ago, and he didn’t know what to do anymore. No matter what they threw at Lila, she always managed to wiggle out of it. Would they ever be rid of Lila Rossi? At least some of their classmates still believed in Marinette. She’d be happy to hear that she didn’t lose everyone at Francoise-Dupont.

He flicked his gaze down to his phone with a sigh. They hadn’t spoken since before the interview. Adrien couldn’t bring himself to after everything that happened with Alya. She was bound to know the truth now—that he’d teamed up with Chloe to stop Lila, despite how she’d refused. How much more pain had he caused her by trying to fix her problems? He was afraid to know. He’d betrayed her wishes, but hopefully she’d understand that his heart was in the right place. She was all his heart ever talked about these days. Avoiding her was agony, and his heart ached every time he looked at his phone.

“I don’t know what to do, Mom,” he murmured. He shifted to press his back to the statue, resting his cheek against her lap. “No matter how hard I try, it’s never enough. Sometimes I wish you were still here to tell me everything will be alright.”

He closed his eyes, listening to the birds chirping and the hum of the city beyond the walls. When had life gotten so complicated? He longed for freedom for so long, but he never imagined what it would cost. The pain he would endure. But he’d take this pain over isolation. He never wanted to be locked up again. One day he’d be free from his father’s control, then he and Marinette could be together whenever they wanted. One day…

“Adrien?”

He sat up, cheek sore from resting against the stone. When had he fallen asleep? Red and black spots filled his vision, awakening his heart with a jolt.

“Ladybug?” He blinked, rubbing his eyes as if expecting her to be a dream.

“Sorry, I was just passing overhead, and I saw you sitting down here. I didn’t mean to intrude,” she said.

“No, no, it’s fine,” he insisted. “Stay. I could use the company.”

“That makes two of us,” she said, taking a seat beside him with a sigh. “We really made a mess of things.”

“Yeah…” Adrien rested his chin on his fist. “I don’t know how she gets away with it every time.”

Ladybug leaned her head back with a sigh. “Lila is crafty. She targeted Alya specifically because she knew she’d be her most powerful ally.”

“I just feel so bad. I was hoping we could finally make everyone see the truth, but it looks like we just made things worse. Marinette was right, I shouldn’t have gotten involved,” he said, “but I couldn’t help it. Not after everything Lila has done to her.”

“You really care about this girl, don’t you?” Ladybug smiled.

His cheeks warmed, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, more than anything. But I feel like all I ever do is cause her trouble. She’s probably furious with me.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Ladybug said. “From what I know of her, a gesture like that would mean the world to her, and I’ll bet she’s not as angry as you think.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because you wouldn’t go out of your way to help her if you didn’t share a special bond. You’re probably just as important to her as she is to you,” Ladybug said. “Talk to her. I think it will make you both feel better.”

Adrien pulled up his messages, thumb hovering over her name. Ladybug was right. The longer he avoided her, the longer they’d both feel this pain. Marinette would understand. He loved her, and he believed that she loved him too. Everything would be alright in the end so long as they had each other.

“Thanks, Ladybug,” he murmured.

“I’ll leave you alone now.” She palmed her yoyo but hesitated, turning over her shoulder. “That girl is really lucky to have someone like you watching over her.”

With a flick of her wrist, she tossed her yoyo and shot off into the rooftops. Adrien drummed his fingers on his thigh, then stood up and headed into the house. Gorilla was playing a game on his tablet in the foyer when Adrien found him.

“There’s somewhere I need to go.”

♪♫♪ Death of a Bachelor ♪♫♪

Marinette hummed to herself while waiting for the kettle to boil. She stole glances at her phone, but it stayed quiet. Maybe he was just trying to figure out what to say. He was bound to call sooner or later.

When the doorbell rang, her heart jumped up to her throat. She raced to the front door, hoping her clumsy footsteps didn’t betray her eagerness. Taking a composing breath, she opened the door.

His head was low, one hand shoved in his pocket, and he looked up at her through timid eyelashes. He opened his mouth, but no words came out, his fear written all over his face. Marinette smiled, gesturing him inside, but he remained rooted in place.

“Marinette, I-”

“I know,” she said.

“You’re not mad?” he asked.

“Adrien,” Marinette sighed, giving him a gentle, scolding look. She wrapped her arms around his neck. “You are the sweetest boy I know. How could I ever be mad at you?”

Adrien stood stiffly in silence before his shoulders began to shake. He gripped fistfuls of her shirt, wetting her shoulder and nuzzling into her neck. Marinette held him, letting all of his worry wash between them like rain flowing down a roof. When clouds grew too heavy, they unloaded their burdens on everyone below, so Marinette stood under Adrien and let him rain.

“I’m sorry!” he cried. “I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay. I forgive you,” Marinette whispered, trailing her fingers through his soft hair. “I forgive you, Adrien.”

His sobs quieted, and he sat up, rubbing a hand across his red nose. The kettle on the stove screeched, and Marinette gestured him in again.

“Come on. I’ll make us some tea,” she said.

Adrien sat at the table, combing his fingers through his hair. She passed him a cup with a smile and took a seat beside him.

“I take it things didn’t go as planned with the interview?” Marinette asked.

“Not exactly,” Adrien grunted as if that were an understatement and took a sip. “Alya and some others still believe Lila is innocent, but there are a lot of us who think you are too.”

“Adrien.”

“I know. I shouldn’t have gotten involved.” He swirled his finger around the rim of the cup. “But I couldn’t just sit by and do nothing. You mean the world to me, Marinette.”

Marinette’s heart fluttered, and she took a sip to hide her blush. The chamomile wasn’t strong enough to calm her nerves when he said things like that to her. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to pass out.

Setting her cup down, she cupped his cheek, tilting his chin to face her. “Thank you for looking out for me. It’s really sweet, but you don’t have to solve all of my problems. Sometimes it’s okay to just let things go.”

“Yeah…” Adrien sighed.

“Promise me you won’t get involved anymore. Lila will dig her own grave eventually. It’s better if we just let it go and move on,” Marinette said.

Adrien leaned into her touch, pressing a soft kiss to her palm.

“I promise,” he murmured.

Her pulse quickened when those gorgeous green eyes softened on her. The air hung heavy around them, warming her skin from her cheeks to the very fingertips touching his skin. Goosebumps tickled the tiny hairs of her arms, Adrien’s magnetic pull drawing her in.

Marinette slipped her fingers behind his neck and tugged ever-so-gently. Adrien leaned forward, eyelids hooding. His lips parted, warm breath swirling against her own. Marinette closed her eyes, tilting her head to finally give respite to the tension that had been building between them for weeks.

But relief never came.

Her father threw open the front door, and the sparks between them crackled. They jolted away from each other, clumsily grasping for their cups as her dad waltzed in with a fresh loaf of bread. He read the tension between them, and undoubtedly, noticed their rosy cheeks.

“Am I interrupting something?” His eyes narrowed.

“No, Papa!”

“No, sir. No way.” Adrien took a long sip and cleared his throat.

“Are you sure? I was just bringing up some fresh bread to go with dinner. I can leave if you two are-”

“Papa!” Marinette growled.

“Actually, I should get going. My father will want me home soon.” Adrien stood up. “Thanks for the tea.”

“Yeah, no biggie,” Marinette insisted.

Adrien hesitated, flicking a quick glance at her dad, then lifting her hand to his lips. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay.”

He pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles before fleeing out the front door. Marinette sat back, letting out a ragged breath.

“I ruined a moment, didn’t I?” Her dad winced.

Marinette offered him a smile, jumping up to place a kiss on his cheek. “It’s not the first time.”

“Is everything alright?” Marinette’s mother came through the door. “I passed Adrien on the stairs, he was redder than the strawberries on the cake we baked for Manon’s birthday.”

“I interrupted a moment,” her dad confessed.

“They were having a moment?” her mom gasped excitedly.

“Maman!” Marinette groaned.

“My little girl’s growing up so fast. She’s already got her first boyfriend. Before we know it, they’ll be bringing their kids over for Sunday brunch.” Her dad rubbed the tears forming in his eyes.

Marinette covered her face, willing this all to be a dream, but alas, she couldn’t fly away.

“Do you think Adrien would ever take an interest in baking?” her dad asked, and Marinette let out a moan.

“I’m going to my room. Call me when dinner’s ready,” she said.

“Next time Adrien comes over, we promise not to interrupt!” her mom called as she made her way up the stairs.

“That’s enough!”

“Should we invite him to dinner?” her dad asked.

“Good night!”

Marinette slammed her trap door shut and flopped against it with a sigh. She’d almost kissed Adrien—again! And after confessing how important they were to each other. Did this mean they were dating? Neither of them said the l-word, but maybe sometime soon…

She covered her face and giggled. Her boyfriend Adrien. She could get used to that.