#i don’t see myself posting about me being trans not because i’m ashamed but because that’s very personal and i don’t wanna air all that out

[providnce]

So basically: I'm trans. 🤷‍♂️

My name is Francisco, and I use he/him pronouns exclusively. Call me by masculine terms, basically I'm just a guy that's here.

I’ve always been like this, I can’t repress who I am anymore. Due to my unfortunate living situation, many financial reasons, not having a very supportive family, and living in an unsafe area (suburban Florida... come on), making the path to live my truth as a man, in real life, at this time, is unlikely to straight-up dangerous for me. Online I feel I can navigate this easier, and it's less scary.

If we're mutuals, feel free to reach out if you have any questions, as long as it isn't invasive. My about page has been updated. 🫶 much love

[borom1r]

1-25 choose violence ask game ❤️

ALL OF THEM?????? you’re so real for this ty snfnsnbfns. doing LotR bc of course I am

1. the character everyone gets wrong

PIPPIN I HATE TO SAY IT BUT PIPPIN. all those incorrect quote polls that have been posted where pippin keeps fucking winning YALL REALIZE HES AN ACTUAL CHARACTER RIGHT?? with like depth?? and bonds?? and a personality. yall realize that right?????? right??? ik we all love 2 joke but he would not say half of those things

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

ok I personally enjoy both for Boromir BUT if he IS topping. he is a service top. I will die on this hill

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I block ppl for these takes so no screenshots but everyone who thinks Boromir is a villain. if you think Boromir is a villain I will key your car.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

there is one singular straw and it is bad Boromir takes in the Boromir tag

5. worst discord server and why

I don’t join fandom discord servers bc I love myself too much for that 💗

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

ummm idk? most of my lotr mutuals have different ships from me and it’s all chill. but tbf I’m very selective abt who I interact with now lmao.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

no one yet thank fuck.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Aragorn/Arwen isn’t actually romantic sorry I think it’s fucked up actually. the vibes are off there for SURE

9. worst part of canon

FARAMIR’S “yeah I’m gonna take you from your home and tame you. haha wdym. you don’t need a blade during times of peace.” SHTICK WITH ÉOWYN IN THE BOOKS. UNPACK YOUR BIASES YOU LITTLE FREAK!!!!!!!!

10. worst part of fanon

HM. I will stick with “people who horrifically misinterpret Boromir’s character”

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

at the moment I only have rings of power blocked but I’ve had that blocked since it came out bc if I look at the armor in that show I will commit crimes.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MOVIE!FARAMIR MY SPECIALEST LITTLE GUY OOOOOOOOOO MOVIE!FARAMIR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU he’s so handsome and special and I love him and you WILL all look at him and clap and cheer. it makes me insane that his temptation by the ring mirror’s Boromir’s and he’s actually fucking normal abt the Rohirrim AND I just love him very much :)

13. worst blorboficiation

ummm idk… maybe Frodo

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

HMMM exposing myself but I basically only read Aragorn/Boromir fics lmao + since we’re Choosing Violence the most annoying thing is Boromir just being A Brute. like damn I love the surface level reading of the text maybe try engaging with it above a 1st grade analysis next time 💗

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmmmm idk cuz again I don’t interact w a lot of fanartists so there’s nothing like. annoying. all th ✨motifs✨ I do see r very fun + I like them :)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ummm for Serious, portraying Pippin as Stupid. for Silly, uhhhh Trans Faramir is so real to me I completely forgot cis people both 1) exist in the real world and 2) probably interpret Fara as cis too. i don’t get it :(

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

trans Faramir 🩵💗🤍

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

HM idk. trans Faramir again. also bc I love it, utilizing Old Norse culture for the Rohirrim teehee

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

OK IM MAD THAT FINNISH BOROMIR IS JUST ME. THATS ME. THATS AN OUTFIT I WEAR REGULARLY MINUS THE LONG HAIR. I DRESS LIKE THAT TO BUY GROCERIES. i love him for that tho. I’m also mad that MtG Boromir’s stupid pointy muttonchops have grown on me. freak behavior, keeping his facial hair trimmed in those stupid little points

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

I’m fighting for my life reading the histories rn 😑 I find them very dry for the most part

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

idk? I think there is an appropriate level of hype. but idk if Rings of Power had a lot of hype. if it did, then Rings of Power is my answer

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

idk if it’s IGNORED necessarily but the fact that Boromir carries a Rohirric shield in the films does actually genuinely make me insane 💞 I love that sm

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

UNWILLINGLY?????? idk?? ummmm I think it’s all fine for the most part I’m just A Fag so I don’t write het ships. it’s like a moral thing. Éowyn/Faramir gets a pass conceptually bc they’re T4T to me tho

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

idkkkkkkk I don’t engage w discourse bc I want this fandom to remain pleasanttttt

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

again idk.. I block on sight if I see a Bad Take + then I erase it from my memory so I can continue to live in a beautiful blissful world where I. forgor abt cis people ☺️

[illiteratethekid]

I had to cataloge this. reddit post from r/offmychest

u/BigBingus1337

I (27F) have been struggling with an extremely disgusting problem for 14 years, and I need help.

nsfw

(CW)

Content warning:

Strong depiction of bodily fluids (excrement, urine)

Suicide attempts

Depression

Physical/Sexual/Emotional Abuse

Sexual discussion

Self harm

Just a lot of awful stuff

(CW)

Please be warned, this is an extremely gross, explicit, and hard to handle post. I'm not making this up. This isn't a joke. I'm in a lot of pain. I've tried a lot and I don't know what to do anymore.

I feel helpless, ashamed, disgusted, and sub-human.

It's only now after 14 years of this cycle that I've become so, *so* tired of hiding my shame that I can talk about it publicly and reach out for more help, or at least get this off my chest.

If I seem distant or use wack-ass language, it's because I've lived this way for too long to get hung up on making any of this fit "acceptable" language.

It's impossible.

I'm also well aware that this might get memed into oblivion, shared around like "look at this lmao gross", and laughed at.

I get it. I can sort of see how in a sick, fucked-up kind of way this could be funny from an outside perspective.

Comedy helps people cope, ridiculing others is a maladaptive way of comforting oneself.

What I worry about is people not reading this with empathy or a desire to understand, and would rather trash on me and reinforce the hatred I already have for myself and my behaviors.

So just fuckin... be cool.

Please.

For the past 14 years, I haven't been able to stop fingering my ass, defacating on towels/toiletpaper and urinating in bottles/towels/tp/etc.

It has caused me to live in unsanitary, isolating, shameful, and disgusting conditions.

It has cost me my health, happiness, safety, relationships, living situations, and on several occasions, it's caused me to attempt suicide.

I am scared of being somehow shamed more than I shame myself by posting this. I've sought professional help, and it hasn't worked regardless of if its my fault or the help.

About me:

I'm 27, I have a decent job, a good group of friends, recent-ish-ly single, handful of great and awful partners, etc.

I'm trans, she/her. (Please don't be weird. I struggled with this problem well before I had any inkling of gender stuff. That's not how it works)

I've been diagnosed with ADHD, ASD, and Clinical Depression.

I have taken pretty standard adhd medication for the last 8 years

I have tried 5 different SSRIs with at best, no effect, and at worst, full blown serotonin syndrome, mild psychosis, and seizures.

Over the years, I've seen 4 therapists for a couple years at a time.

All of which were actually wonderful help for understanding and coping with trauma, depression, ADHD, ASD, and sexual/physical/emotional abuse.

I haven't been able to mend this specific problem, even with their help.

The formatting of this post is really choppy mainly because it's comprised of notes I've taken on this issue in notepad++

Some of it might seem detached or "clinical" because of this.

I use these notes to help analyze the behaviors that are happening and the different emotions and motivators at play.

I have always struggled on-and-off with keeping my personal spaces clean due to whatever cocktail of adhd, depression, asd, whatever.

Trash, rotting food, disorganization, dirty bed, etc.

I'd say it would be 70% as bad as a typical "neckbeard-nest" image you would see.

Never piles so high I couldn't see or leave my space, but, certainly enough to be playing hop-scotch to get around.

Both the depression messes and the defecating problem have gone through cycles of getting slightly better, getting much worse, better again ,etc.

Potential reasons for being Motivated/compelled/habitual fingering my ass for a combination of 2 reasons:

ASD Stimming/comfort/sexual stimulation from prostate when feeling... *something*

Attempts to identify that something lead to maybe these?

- Potentially feeling bored/understimulated

- An emptiness emotionally

2. ASD Sensory issues around feeling unclean after shitting, e.g. still feeling shit inside me and disgust/frustration with how that interferes with #1?

Earliest possible memory/origin of behavior:

Exploring my body/masturbating with anal stimulation around age 12-13.

As with anyone who's done anal, "shit happens", especially when you don't know about cleaning yourself out.

I would end up coming into contact with shit, not knowing what to do, and just wiping it on toilet paper or towels.

I would hide the evidence because I was ashamed and embarrassed.

An unfortunate part of this habit is that fingering your ass causes a feeling of need to urinate.

Whenever I finger my ass, I urinate into toilet paper, a bottle, a container.

This affects my living space by making it unsanitary, extremely unpleasant, and isolating.

This leads to even more unsanitary conditions, more avoidance, procrastination, and shame.

The unsanitary conditions cause a rolling chain of dependency/vicious cycle

For example:

- An area gets gross or unpleasant (typically the bathroom first)

- That area is now more difficult to reach both physically and emotionally

- Procrastination/avoidance/shame/refusal to clean the area

- I am unable to use that area, leading to shitting and pissing in a pile elsewhere

- Causing more spread out messes

- repeat until harsh physical/social consequences or suicidality take hold

- then clean everything top to bottom and try to not get in the cycle again

I always end up back in the cycle.

The anxiety & helplessness around my struggles with this make it impossible to have anyone over

I am too ashamed to ask for help, or accept it when offered.

Friends know I'm depressed and struggle with keeping my spaces clean, but I never tell them the full story. Usually a half-truth.

I often tell my friends they can't come over because "my place is like a wreck, like unsanitary bad".

Which isn't *exactly* wrong, but isn't representative of how bad things actually are.

I feel like the 2 people in my life I've told the real, full details of this to, don't actually understand how bad it really is. They know I've had a *history* of issues with it.

I can't bring myself to tell them that its something I'm still struggling with *now*

The above is driven by shame.

I've done property damage. I've let wet piss soaked towels sit for weeks on beautiful wooden floors, bleaching them and stripping them of their varnish.

I've ruined and thrown out dozens of towels, sheets, carpets.

I've had to cut dried shit out of my own clothing or throw them away.

I've had to throw away wonderful gifts loving family and friends have given me because they were destroyed when I knocked over a months old piss bottle.

I had to steam clean my own shit stains out of carpet when moving out of an old apartment.

I remember sitting there, breaking down at seeing the damage I've caused.

I was so overwhelmed by my own disgust and hatred for my existence.

I got my handgun, put a magazine in, and put it in my mouth, and without a second of hesitation, pulled the trigger.

It sounds kinda dramatic, but I don't remember if I forgot to rack the slide on purpose or by mistake.

Somehow I'm glad I didn't, but there are many times I have regretted not doing it.

When I was in my teens my parents would discover/"catch" me living this way a couple times.

My parents did not handle finding out in a safe or loving way.

Shocker, I know.

They screamed at me that I'll lose all my housing opportunities, friends, and safety net if someone finds out.

And they aren't wrong about the consequences, but all they did was punish me, beat me, strip me of my privacy by removing my door from it's hinges, my healthy hobbies, shame me, and held no space for understanding or help.

They called it a fetish.

It was not.

However in the past year I've explored scat videos. I don't even like it. It's like a sick desperation for understanding what's wrong with me.

I've never in my 14 year history enjoyed living in my own filth.

I think my short exploration of scat as a porn category was just coping with trauma and uncertainty through a sexual lens.

Just fantasizing that I could convince myself its as simple as a fetish or desire, and because of that, it would be okay.

It's not.

It's not a fetish.

I don't enjoy this. I hate this.

This is extremely debilitating, and I don't deserve to go through this, but I can't seem to find a way to stop.

I feel deep shame and unsafety in regards to people finding out, telling them, or anyone helping because they won't understand.

It's hard to put into words how impossible it feels to break this habit.

It feels like when someone tells you the only way to get better is to "love yourself".

Like... what the fuck does that even mean? How? How can you do that if you don't value your own love? Monopoly money has more value than that.

Therapy has helped me cope with those nagging feelings for things like depression, abuse, self-worth, etc.

But changing this behavior feels as impossible as changing the laws of physics.

How do you sit with yourself, the 14th year of trying to outwit your own habits that try to kill you, remove you from society, and ruin everything you love, and say "Well this attempt it's gonna work!" and feel any sort of actual hope? Sure it's writing a fatalistic narrative for myself, and sure it sounds like I've resigned myself to this. What the fuck do I do?

The really sad thing is that I'm not the only one out there who struggles with this weird compulsive fingering and defecation issue.

A quick google search of the behavior leads to a couple forums/quora-like sites of people talking about this behavior and how they can't stop and don't know what it is.

They're desperately trying to find a reason or help. As far as I can tell, they never do.

So its like... what the hell are my chances if dozens of other people are struggling too?

I know my physical safety might concern people reading this. I'm at a point in therapy where suicide really just isn't on the menu for me anymore. I just want to assure readers that I'm not suicidal. I'm gonna keep living. I can't be certain whether or not I'll be living well.

Edit:

To all of you sending me private messages, saying this is hot, asking me to piss on them, getting turned on by this:

I hope you fucking rot. I really do.

As someone in the kink community, I don't shame others for what they like. But you REALLY think its appropriate to come into my DMs from a post where I detail a behavior that drove me to attempt suicide, and start waving your dick around?

There are no words that describe my sheer contempt for you. Rot.

To everyone else: I really appreciate the support and understanding you have provided. The responses have given me a lot to think about, and a lot of potential new paths to go down. Thank you, and I wish you the same care, kindness, and affirmation of humanity you all have provided to me.

[brunz]

Long journaly post

Guess this was a lower week although not as intense as times have been. I was so hopeful the other week. Things are changing I can change things in my life I’m taking care of my body etc. I was just so tired this week. I did not sustain that hope for this week. I didn’t do any of the things I meant to. I haven’t made my dentist appointment. I haven’t made my school counselor appointment. I didn’t look into the loan forgiveness. I didn’t work on the unicorn. 

I don’t feel as though I’ll die soon or anything like that, but things did feel more hopeless. I’ve been reflecting on my life and it feels like, due to my actions and my lack of work or inherent qualities about me, I’m missing something. I’m missing something important.

I know it’s probably irrational because I can never actually formulate *what* that thing is, just the feeling of feeling lesser, worse than the people around me, but it’s there and it’s followed me for a long time, and continues to do so.

If I’m being frank, and I try not to focus on these things, but I’ve been jealous lately. I wish I could be attractive. I wish I could be attractive as a girl. I wish I could relive parts of my life as a girl. I wish I could be pretty. I wish I had the courage to be someone. I’ve never had it. I’ve given up. I gave up around middle school and I really gave up after my mom died. I’ve been so stagnant. I wish I could be in a relationship. I wish I could connect to someone, to trust them, to trust that they like me, that they don’t want to use me, that I’m sufficient, that I could possibly make them happy and not ruin everything for them, to trust that I deserve them and that they don’t necessarily deserve more than me, that I am good enough, maybe even more than that. That I’m unique and beautiful like all the people around me. I want to be like everyone else.

I keep thinking about the person I want to be in my next life. But there is no next life. I’m just too scared and ashamed and embarrassed and cowardly and lazy to do the things I need to to make this life one I want to live. It’s so embarrassing. And of course I pay for it.

It’s why I live my life online, vicariously or through fantasy. Video games and online social media are places I can define myself in ways that I find difficult in person. I can be a girl online. I can be trans online. I can be a lot of things. I can change at will and people don’t hate me. They don’t laugh at me I don’t think. If they do, I don’t hear it, I don’t see it. I can be someone who’s not me. And people like me on there! I’m not completely fake on there, arguably I’m more real on there. I don’t know what the real me is, maybe there isn’t one.

[bookfreaky]

Book Cover (Available - x)

I wonder if I’ll be calm someday, If I’ll just wake up in the morning and breathe lightly, and not feel like something is missing or maybe something horrendous is going to happen. And I can maybe have coffee with almond milk without having a rivotril right after. So I don’t have to go though this daily routine between picking up running or staying in bed all day. I’m so tired and I’m so nervous, and it seems like I have lost the only person who had the ability to calm myself down without yelling at me. I miss him. Every single day, I miss him.  

My doctor told me that in spite of not presenting any classical symptoms of depression, like I can get up and do things. That depressive undertone is there, under my skin, that grief and that loss that never leaves me. 7 years, then shit. And I am moody, like a small child, yelling at everyone who’s nothing to do with it. Irritable. Nothing is ever good enough, well, nothing is ever going to be good enough because he isn’t there.

I just want this to be over, sincerely. I want to be done with the interviews, with the social media posts, and honestly, I can’t stand looking at the cover of that book anymore. Looks like this yearning woman laying down the bed waiting for his lover to fuck her – ironic. I feel just like the cover of that damn book. He had such a calming presence, although his anxiety, like nothing could really take his off is rocket, but when it did, he would run and I’ll be the one to sit down next to him and touch his ear, fix his moustache, then I knew that he likes his moustache being fixed while he is jerking himself off. I feel ashamed to get fixated in such sordid details of this relationships that never came clear to me. So many things never came clear to me.

I ask myself if with the time passing, all these feelings that live inside me like the drums of some kind of matching band will cease, and I will move to a farm like my grandfather did. And do everything that we talked to each other about doing, growing weed and tomatoes, raising horses and hens, having space to get musical instruments. I don’t know why I keep returning to this future, to this plan, to this specific idea of happiness. Maybe, maybe, my happiness will be going from plane to plane, to interview to interview, book after book, living in an apartment in a city that makes more noise than my own head. No space for the kids jump on the trampoline at the backyard, no space for them running around and learning to swim. None of your features on his faces, your nose, your thin hair mixed with the thick curly mine. What would I see if I could look at their faces, would it be just like the cover of the book, or would I be so overwhelmed with joy and love that I would never love again, anything.

I didn’t matter. I wanted you and I want the vestiges of you, they follow me everywhere, even in my dreams. I feel like I was your Persephone, I went down to the Hates, and now, now I can’t know who I truly am. The flowers growing from me feel like an imitation of happiness. I loved you so much, I never truly was able to tell the size of it. I can’t bare kids, I am barren, I am trans, but God had given me this miracle I would allow you plant your sperm in me, in the same way you planted your seed in many different ways inside my soul. And I would carry a child that would look just like you and love them, educate them and put them to sleep, I would take care of them even if you weren’t around. They would be the testimony of you, now the only testimony are words.

[hpsucks]

Read me before interacting, thanks!

Hey, hello, hi. Welcome to my corner of the Internet. This is a Harry Potter blog. I realise that is a controversial statement at best and outrageous at worst, but here it is.

I’m a trans person myself. Harry Potter made me realise that I am, in fact, trans. Even after everything that has happened, Harry Potter happens to mean a lot to me.

Yes, I’m ashamed. Yes, I’m the absolute worst person you have ever had the misfortune of meeting. I’ve heard it all. So. If you’re here to spread hate… just don’t.

That I rewatch my old DVDs, and that I reread my old books, and that I sometimes reblog fanart isn’t going to give the author any money or any traction. That ship sailed years ago. My hyperfixation comes in bursts. It’s been years since last time.

So… why can’t I let go off Harry Potter when so many others have? I don’t know. It saved my life. It made me realise things about myself that define who I am. Without Harry Potter, I would most likely have force quit life. :’)

On top of that, I find it really, really difficult to see how I am the bad person in this whole ordeal. I’m not the terf. I’m not the person that berates and bullies others because they have an interest in something they loved as a child. I’m not the person who purposefully posts triggering content to upset fans. So. Maybe just leave me the fuck alone.

I don’t understand why my opinion means less than any other trans person’s does.

And finally: the only people who know about this shit is people who are chronically online. A close friend of mine, who loves Harry Potter, had absolutely no idea about any of this until I told her.

Again: That I rewatch my 10+ year old DVDs won’t give the author any traction.

Please, don’t interact if:

You’re a transphobe or a TERF

You’re here to spread hate

You’re under the age of 18

Thank you for being respectful and mindful of this post!

[tolookatmyself]

Intros and formalities

Let me introduce myself. I'm J, I'm 22, and I, unfortunately, am a transgender man. I say unfortunately because I don't like being transgender. Maybe that's a controversial opinion.

Every single day I wish I wasn't transgender. Everyday I wake up and look at myself in the mirror and only see the things I want to change, things I have no control over because I was born int he wrong body. And every single day I wish this was something I didn't have to deal with.

Oh how nice it would be to be cisgender! Girl or boy, no matter. Just to be able to go about my day not thinking of how I can't go into a public bathroom. To go to a store in a t-shirt. To try on clothes and not have a panic attack. How nice that would be.

That's not my life and this blog is how I am dealing with that.

I've been on testosterone for three years now. I cannot express how much happier I am with myself. Yes, it is traumatizing having to inject myself with an inch long needle every week. The cost. But I feel amazing, and most of the anxieties of my everyday life have lessened.

Another huge success- I got top surgery! After years and years of binding and probably giving myself some serious back problems. All I can say is it feels like a huge weight has been taken off my chest. (Haha)

When I'm not busying pitying myself for being transgender, I actually have a pretty cool life. I go to music school, and I study music composition and music education. I have a real passion for writing music, especially choral and vocal music, and I hope one day to write music for a choir that I teacher. I absolutely love teaching. It's such a dopamine kick for me. Kids are just so much fun and can brighten any kind of day I'm having. Set to student teach in a middle school music classroom this fall. I lucked out big time, I simply cannot wait!!

After I graduate, I'm hiking the Appalachian Trail. I don't know any other trans men that have done it, but I'm sure they're out there, and I want to connect with them. Since going through surgery and hormones I've become surprisingly more open about my identity and connection to the community. In high school, I wanted to pass as male completely and be 'stealth' by whole life. I think this need to be stealth was fueled by a fear that if someone knew I was trans, they would see me as a woman.

Now, after hormones and surgery, its amazing how much more confident I feel. And so many people have told me that there's no way they could see me as a woman. When I look in the mirror I look so stereotypically male and it makes me feel so confident. And with that confidence I'm able to own the fact that I'm trans just a little more, I'm able to tell people I'm trans without fear that it will change their perception of me. That's pretty neat.

With this need to be stealth, though, I can't say I've ever done much for the community at large. In fact, I haven't even been to a pride parade in four years. Talk about activism, I think I through away my trans flag out of shame.

But I'm not ashamed anymore. I know how much I've accomplished, and maybe I can start to give back to the community and help other folks who aren't so lucky.

That's where my crazy idea comes in. Maybe I'll save that for another blog post.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy reading through his tangled mess of thoughts and feelings, showcasing some of what being trans in today's world is.

[a-shared-experience]

I’m so upset these days seeing all these posts about my clients go viral. Today they posted both a schizophrenic and severely bipolar client. One of them I found digging in the garbage looking for food. They are not mentally stable enough to check into any of the inner city resources. I gently touched their arm and asked if they’d eaten and they said it’s been a few days. I went to Tim Hortons and bought them dinner and walked away feeling frustrated because I have no idea how to help them. One of my clients just got released from detox and was kicked out of sober living due to them not being properly stabilized on medication to help with manic depression. Their mood fluctuates rapidly and having to sleep rough only further deteriorates them and leads them back to chaotic drug use so they can try and feel normal.

To see their pictures posted for hate speech makes me feel depleted and depressed myself. The bipolar client ran to me and advised their was an overdose nearby. They didn’t even know the person but wanted in some way to help. They remembered me from a week ago when we did wound care for frost bite in a dirty train station.

The person who no one cares about still cares about other people and I honestly admire that so much more than some middle class asshole posting their pictures without consent to bully them like a bunch of ignorant children.

I worry about humanity. Their inability to see things outside of their own experience, their need to belittle our most vulnerable instead of attempting to understand them or help them become stable.

It’s hard for me to care so deeply about so many things and yet I know I’m here with that life purpose. To be the one who cares. What kind of world would it be if we all just gossiped and shamed others.

I don’t know what it’s like to be trans or schizophrenic or houseless or bipolar. I don’t know what getting beat up each day or having to dig through garbage bins feels like , I can’t imagine it. I don’t know what it feels like to be ridiculed for my sexuality…

I see it , everyday. I see the way we don’t love people , the way we don’t understand them , the way we fear.

I see how much pain it causes

How lonely it is

And I know pain and loneliness, I know them very well. I don’t wish that on anyone , I don’t contribute to that. My first thought was that those people should be ashamed of themselves but that would only drive more pain, loneliness and addiction.

I want to be enraged , I want to break their phones , break their face …

But life is always teaching us divine lessons , some of which are incredibly profound. May life teach you love, even if the path to get there is difficult and heartbreaking.

May life remind you of how precious it is and how blessed you are by truly humbling you and cracking open your truth

[doberbutts]

@regular-mulder

i hate those jokes so much tbh but every time i speak out about how shitty they are i get so much hate for it

it makes me hate being a man

and then some of them will even say shit like 'trans men are fine though we don't include them' and it just smacks of transphobia to me

Your tags on that post hit the nail directly on the head.

As someone who is both trans and gay, I can verify that those jokes Feel Bad Man and that most of the time I see someone make them and instantly I think that that person is no longer safe to speak to. Because either they are including me in whatever shittiness they’re talking about because I am a dude, or they are NOT including me because I’m trans and thus not “as much of a dude” to them. Either way it smacks of transphobia and homophobia and a lack of intersectionality and I am just not here for it.

My attraction to men is neither unfortunate nor a bad thing nor shameful. I find men quite pleasing to look at and think about and perform various affectionate and passionate actions with. Making it out to be a bad thing would force me back into the shame and despair I found myself in when I was a young teen trying to figure out why these things made me feel the way I did when everything around me told me it was wrong. I refuse to go back to that closet for the sake of being the butt of someone’s shitty jokes.

My being a man is neither unfortunate nor a bad thing nor shameful. Shaming me for living my truth is not okay no matter the labels of the person doing it. I fought long and hard to live my life the way I am happiest and I will not let someone who wants to score a few laughs make me ashamed of who I am. I will not live as something I’m not just because people disapprove of my entire gender.

But when the affected speak up about it, the only response is hate and vitriol. This happened IN A QUEER SPACE. Somewhere that was said to be a safe space for all LGBT+ people. Not even our supposed safe spaces are safe for us half the time.

[thekisforkeats]

The Way You Say My Name

Info: The Magnus Archives, JonMartin, rated T for swears. Canon-Compliant. Set immediately post-MAG 22. Martin is trans and Jon is amab non-binary.

CWs: Guilt, self-recrimination, worms (mentioned), arguments, shouting, crying, lying (Martin lying about his CV still), transphobia (mentioned), misgendering (mentioned), child abuse (mention of Martin Blackwood's mother) 

Summary: Just after MAG 22, Jon apologizes for his treatment of Martin over the past few months. Or tries to, anyway. It's hard to apologize to someone when you don't understand exactly what it is you've done to upset them.

(Of course, once Jon's apologized and Martin's relaxing, well... that's when Jon will finally notice he actually likes Martin, isn't it? Not that he's going to admit to that, even to himself.)

Shoutout to the Martin Blackwood Lovers Discord Server, without whom I would not have written this up and posted it. ;) Jon’s dialogue was (mostly) written by @marianfuckinghawke.

--------------------------------------------------------

“Recording ends.”

Jon reached out and pressed the stop button on the tape recorder. He sighed and looked at his phone. The message from Jane Prentiss was still glowing on the screen. He ran a hand through his short hair, aware he was mussing the grey-streaked black and deciding he didn’t care.

He had listened to Martin’s account of the encounter with Jane Prentiss with trepidation and worry. Now he could feel his face settling into something more drawn with concern. First, concern for his two assistants who were out of the Archive at the moment. Second, concern for Martin. The man had gotten himself into this mess because of Jon’s words. Due diligence. Was he really such a hardass that he had put one of his subordinates in harm’s way? How had he not realized that it might come to this?

Martin sat fidgeting, shifting in his seat, and Jon could feel the other man’s soft brown eyes on him. He had the look of a frightened, cornered animal and it cut Jon to the quick. He had done this. Jon was responsible for the man’s state, and he had to figure out how to make it better.

There was silence for a solid three minutes. Then Martin opened his mouth to say, “So if I’m going to be--”

Jon started speaking at exactly the same time. “So obviously you’re--” He blinked and said, “I’m sorry--”

“No, no, you go,” Martin said, raising his hands and waving them rapidly.

“No. It’s alright… go ahead,” Jon replied at the exact same time, then frowned.

Martin cleared his throat, then seemed to gather his courage. “Well. I was going to say. If I’m going to be staying here, I’ll need… things. Like, uhh, there’s a cot, but I’ll need, like… a toothbrush? I mean, you don’t have a stash of those sitting around, do you?” He chuckled in a self-deprecating manner.

“No, I do not,” Jon replied. “Nor do you have a proper change of clothing… you can hardly wear the same outfit for however long this will take, and you won’t want to sleep in what you’re wearing.” He had a sudden mental image of Martin sleeping naked, and cleared his throat while he shoved it away. Hardly an appropriate thought about a co-worker, even if it wasn’t remotely sexual. “We will have to go out and get such things for you… perhaps after I brief Tim and Sasha on the situation.”

Martin nodded. “There’s a room that might be, umm… did you know one of the rooms that’s filled with boxes is supposed to be the break room?” He gave that self-deprecating laugh again. “‘Course you know that, stupid, what am I saying…” He glanced aside, cheeks flushing. “Umm. Anyway. Umm. It’s bigger than the room you’ve got the cot in? If… if… I’m going to be staying here… I could clean it out… make it livable, maybe, umm, get some snacks and tea and things in, and there’d be more room for extra cots… in case you need somewhere to stay late or… something…” A pause. “Or not! Or just. You know. I’ll just. Have lots of time, so. I can. Clean. The break room.”

Jon did not, in fact, know that they’d had a break room at all. It had been frustrating to have everyone going up to the Admin break room on the ground floor, and he’d said so more than once. No, wait… had someone told him, and had he just told them off about clearing the room out?

He was suddenly horribly aware of how many times he’d griped at Martin for going up there to make tea that he had then gone ahead and drunk. How had he been such a prick to this man?

When Jon had started as Head Archivist, he’d had all sorts of plans for team morale, bonding exercises, and the like. He’d always hated them personally but they were the sort of thing bosses were supposed to do. The trouble was that all of his “how best to run the Archives as a team” ideas had flown right out of his head once he’d gotten down there and found himself at a desk where a woman had maybe died, struggling to record statements, dealing with doggy messes, and that damned persistent feeling of being watched.

Well, now was as good a time as any to start acting the way he should have all along.

“Martin… we will clean the break room. Together. As a group.” He ran his hand through his hair again. He really was going to look a mess. “It is a communal space, it will be a communal job.” He added quickly, “Yes, I know you’ll be here more than the rest of us, but I want us all involved. We need…” He sighed. Time to apologize. “I have been… less supportive of you than I should. And…” He swallowed, aware of the flush rising on his cheeks. “I feel I must apologize. So… I am sorry. But we should do more together, especially given that circumstances have escalated.”

Martin blinked at him for a moment. “You’re… sorry. For… being less… supportive than you should have been.” There was a hard-to-read undercurrent in his tone.

“For being… rude to you… and for punishing you…” Jon replied. “Unjustly.” He gestured to the recorder. “All of this… happened because of your adherence to my instructions…” He frowned. “So. I’m sorry.”

“Well,” Martin snapped, “at least you’re finally realizing that it was… unjust.” He glared at Jon, who suddenly felt pinned to the spot by eyes that were no longer soft but had gone hard as agates.

Jon blinked at Martin. “Are… are you alright?” He was apologizing! He couldn’t be messing that up this badly, could he?

Martin drew a long breath in through his nose. “Yeah,” he said, in a high-pitched, clipped tone. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He went to stand abruptly, pushing away from the desk, and in that same tone, “Well, you’d better get to… briefing people, then. I’ll just… go see how far my paycheck can stretch in Chelsea.” His tone was dripping with bitterness by the end.

Jon stood up. “Martin!” He was vaguely aware of saying it in the same irritated tone he always used for the man’s name, aware that Martin visibly flinched at the word, and tried to moderate his tone. “What is going on? I am apologizing! Is… am I missing something?” He moved around the desk to try to be sure Martin didn’t just leave without finishing the conversation.

“No,” Martin said, stopping while facing the door, tone still a good two octaves above normal. “No, it’s fine. You’re apologizing, and that’s good.” His whole frame was stiff, though, and his tone practically screamed “lying.”

Jon couldn’t read people all that well, but even he could read the signs Martin was giving off. “While your words are clear, your body language says quite otherwise.” He tried to moderate his tone again, but he couldn’t help sounding mildly irritated. He didn’t like being lied to, especially concerning his own actions, and he wasn’t sure what he had done incorrectly in this situation. “Now will you stop and talk to me?”

Martin turned away from the door, faced Jon, jaw set firmly. “What do you want me to say, Jon? Do you want me to… to forgive you? To say ‘oh, sure, you’re sorry, so that makes up for the last six months where you’ve made me want to quit my job every day?’ Am I supposed to… to… just… oh, well, there’s danger, so now you’ve realized I’m an actual person, now you’re going to stop kicking me around, now you’re going to pitch in to help around here as I’m not already the one spending all his time trying to clean up the mess while Tim and Sasha run out to research things so you don’t have to send anyone to double-check my work? Never mind that I’ve been trapped for two weeks, I could’ve been dead and none of you bothered to check on me!”

Martin was all but shouting by the end of the diatribe, every line of him stiff and furious, and Jon was suddenly very aware of the fact that Martin was taller and bigger than he was. He cringed away from Martin, took a step back. “I… I…” He turned away to his desk, grabbed his phone. “Here…” he said, handing it to Martin. “Look!” The phone would solve the problem, if Martin could just see… “There… I… just… please…”

The moment Jon had cringed away Martin had hunched his shoulders, deliberately making himself smaller. Now he was taking long, deep breaths, his expression ashamed. He reached out to take the phone from Jon.

The display was still on the screen of Jon’s message history with Martin. Before the last message from Jane Prentiss was a long list of messages from Jon--numerous messages inquiring about Martin’s health, worried and concerned. He had linked articles about foods to eat when feeling ill, then when he’d realized some of those might be hard for Martin to make alone, found new links that had easier recipes.

There were also, Jon knew, greyed-out deleted messages.

Martin, know that your presence is missed here at the Archives. I am wishing you a quick recovery.

I know it’s sudden, but I find myself missing you. Just thought you should know.

And others, so many others, as Jon had tried to figure out how to pierce the wall built by the texts he’d been getting back from what he now knew was Jane Prentiss, asking to be left alone.

As Jon watched Martin reading the messages he nervously bounced in place, one arm folded over his chest to hold the other. He could feel his skin glowing from embarrassment and he wasn’t even sure why. The blush faded, however, as he watched Martin. Watched the anger fade, and realized what lay underneath. The pain that had been underlying that anger, the way it lifted as Martin read through the message history--it was like a revelation. Martin must have walked in here convinced nobody at his place of employment really cared about him, and Jon realized that that was, indeed, what he must usually think, if something as simple as text messages was making something like hope bloom on his face.

It occurred to Jon, suddenly, that nobody had checked on Martin. For two weeks. No friends, no family. Nobody had even noticed the man was gone.

Jon had to fix this. Somehow. And not by wrapping Martin up in a fierce hug like he very much wanted to; that would not be appreciated from the man’s asshole boss. Even if Martin looked like he really, really needed a hug.

By the time Martin handed the phone back to Jon, his breathing was shaky and unsteady. He dropped back into the chair, like his legs suddenly weren’t working. “S-sorry,” he managed in the barest of whispers. “Sorry.”

“That’s… my line,” Jon said. “I am sorry. I should have said more to make it clear… you are a valued member of this team.” He shook his head, wincing at how… canned that line sounded, but pushed on. “I should have said it at least once. And… I never did. I held you at arm’s length and ostracized you. And… I understand how you felt all that time now…” He sighed. “And… yes, it may have taken this incident to make me realize how terrible a person I’ve been to you since… since you started working here.”

Martin stared down at his hands; Jon could see he was crying, but silently, without sniffling or sobbing. “Why?” he finally managed. He looked up at Jon. “Why? What did I… do? I mean… there was the whole ‘dog’ business at the beginning… what, do you hate dogs that much?” There was a kind of desperation in his tone.”

“No… I mean, sure I’m more of a cat person, but… no… I don’t hate dogs.” Jon frowned. “I… I’ve given that a lot of thought these past two weeks and I think I figured it out.” He sighed. “It wasn’t you I was angry with.” He took a breath. “I was angry at Elias. I like to have a sense of who I work with, to get to know them before I get into anything serious.” Oh, no, wait, that sounded… he hadn’t meant it like… work. He’d meant work! No, he was overthinking that; Martin knew he meant work. He stammered for a moment, though. “It’s… part of who I am… as a person.

Jon took a breath, to steady himself. Focus on the apology. “When Elias… placed you here without telling or consulting me about the selection process, it… felt like a betrayal. I felt that agency over my department had been taken out of my hands. And yes… I know he runs the Institute, but he should have at least consulted me about who is in my department.”

He dropped his head and reached to take a box of tissues from the side of the desk, to slide them towards Martin. An olive branch. “I took out that anger and frustration on you. And that was wrong, I know that now.”

“Not like I wanted to be here either,” Martin mumbled, reaching out for a tissue and wiping at his eyes. It didn’t do much to stop the tears. “I mean, I didn’t even want the damn library job, I j-just…” He stumbled, stammering, “It’s… it’s harder to get a position with a degree in parapsychology than you might think.” He sniffled. “B-but… even on top of that… you and Tim and Sasha, you’re all friends already, you requested them. Even if Tim and Sasha and I get along they don’t really know me, and you… well…” He sighed. “When Elias said I was going to work for Jonathan Sims I just about freaked out. You’ve got a… reputation, you know? I just… I knew it’d be… lonely down here, and it really has been.” There was a furrow between his brows now as he looked at Jon.

Jon frowned. He’d known he had a reputation around the Institute, but he hadn’t thought it was that bad. He took a deep breath; this wasn’t about him right now. “Then let us work on fixing that. Starting now. Like I said, we need to be working together more, improve the… office atmosphere. I… have come to admire your dedication to your work. ‘Due diligence,’ as you put it.”

Martin regarded him quietly for a moment. Then he said, “The thing that really bothers me… I don’t… I don’t think you’d understand.”

Jon frowned. Then, finally, softly, “Try me. You might be surprised.”

Martin swallowed. “I… I’m trans,” he blurted. “Like, I was… I had a girl’s name, when I was younger. Figured out I was a guy when I was a teenager, started hormones, and… well…” He took a deep breath. “My mum’s never approved, you know? She’s always been… difficult, she’s… sometimes she’ll… well, I mean, you know how parents will… say your name, right? Like, when you’ve… disappointed them.”

Jon’s frown deepened. He did not, in fact, know how parents said one’s name, but he could remember his grandmother saying Jonathan in tones of deepest disapproval when he’d come back from wandering off. So he nodded; he understood the feeling, at least.

Martin wiped at his eyes again. “The way she said my name… it made me hate my name. My deadname, I mean. But it… helped me realize I was trans, because when I thought about something else I’d want to be called, I came up with ‘Martin.’ And… and I’m kind of glad sometimes, that she… misgenders me, and refuses to call me Martin, because it means she’ll never, ever say it in that… disappointed tone. I have never regretted that choice, not once, until…”

Martin took in a long, shuddering breath, then straightened himself, looking Jon right in the eye. Like he knew what he was going to say wouldn’t go over well, but he had to say it. “The way you say my name, when you snap at me? It’s exactly like my mother says my deadname. And nobody has ever made me regret that choice. Not… ever.” He swallowed. “Until I met you.”

Jon stared at Martin for a long moment, horrified. He was non-binary himself, and yet he’d never changed his name, never even asked people to call him by different pronouns although he might have preferred it; he’d never had the courage to do so. He’d always been terrified of what people might think of him. Yet here was Martin, strong enough to change himself outwardly despite his mother’s disapproval, strong enough to keep coming in every day to deal with a boss who made him regret the name he’d chosen for himself.

In that moment, Jon felt very much like he did not deserve Martin Blackwood. That the Institute did not deserve Martin Blackwood. They would have to do better, somehow.

Finally he managed, “I’m… I didn’t know. I--” He curled his mouth in disgust. How did one respond to that? Do better? That was only a marginally acceptable platitude. “I will endeavor to change my tone.” He didn’t like that any better, but it was the best he could do.

Jon really, really wanted to offer Martin a hug. The man looked like he needed one. Tim would have offered a hug, workplace hugs could be acceptable… but, no, Jon was Martin’s boss, and Martin had just said how much he hated Jon--because if Jon reminded Martin of the mother who deliberately misgendered him, then he had to hate Jon--and who would want a hug from someone they hated?

There was something he could do to help, though. To pay Martin back, as it were. So he, too, straightened, and said, “Well. You were talking about how far your paycheck will stretch in Chelsea, but I think that will be quite unnecessary. Given that you encountered Jane Prentiss while in the line of duty, as it were, I think we can expense your essentials to the Institute without too much trouble.”

Martin’s eyes widened. “W-wait… won’t that… I mean… won’t Mr. Bouchard be… upset about that?”

Jon actually smirked. “Don’t you worry about Elias; I fully intend to take out my irritation about his habits as a supervisor on him instead of you from here on out.” Not directly, of course, but Elias would be irritated by the entire setup, and some petty part of Jon enjoyed that thought.

Martin was staring at Jon now. “I… I wouldn’t want you to… get in trouble…”

Jon waved a hand. “It’s the least I can do.” He stood. “Let’s get to the shops for toiletries before they close and then we can see about getting some clothing delivered. And, ahh, do you have any… prescriptions you’ll need…?” He was thinking about hormones. “I suppose I could send Tim ‘round to your flat, but I wouldn’t want to put him in danger either…”

Martin stood, hesitating. “I’ll… figure all that out. It’s alright. Really.”

Jon came around the desk to grasp Martin by the arms and look up at him, intently. It was the closest thing to a hug he’d let himself get to. “Martin,” he said, as gently as he could manage, with as much respect as he could manage, “you put yourself in danger because of the way your superiors at this Institute have treated you. Let me at least begin to partly repay that debt. Please.”

Martin was blinking down at him. “Uh… umm… aren’t we having… Mr. Bouchard repay the debt…?”

Jon smiled up at Martin as he dropped his arms. "Ahh, but we’re not going to ask Elias to come help clear out the breakroom. Can you imagine him moving boxes?” He could feel the smile edging into a grin. “His arms would break just from trying to pick one up.”

Martin had started to smile, hesitantly. That was what Jon had been going for; he hadn’t realized how much he actually liked Martin’s smile until he hadn’t been around for two weeks. “I-I mean… you’re not the biggest guy yourself… you might have the same problem.”

“Mmm, fair,” Jon replied, “but I am willing to scrub a floor if I must.”

Martin’s smile widened. “Y-yeah, I can’t imagine… Elias… scrubbing a floor.” He giggled, suddenly. “He probably pays people to do that stuff. He… he’d probably have been hopeless stuck in his flat for two weeks.”

Jon laughed at the mental image of Elias Bouchard stuck in a flat, living off canned meals, a laugh so full he actually threw his head back a bit. “Good lord, Elias, having to live off tinned peaches? Can... you... imagine?”

“H-he’d… probably… start shouting for Rosie.” Martin was giggling so hard he could barely get the words out. He put on a bad posh accent and said, “‘Rosie, why do we have all these tinned peaches? I did not approve this budget!’”

They both dissolved into helpless laughter, both reaching out to the other to hold themselves up. There was a moment, as the laughter waned, that their eyes met, and Jon felt something swoop and flutter in his gut. Martin had such a nice smile, and such a pleasant laugh, and it would be wonderful to have both around more often, and it was making him a little dizzy if he was being honest. When was the last time he’d felt that swoop and flutter? Georgie? Briefly, with Tim?

No, no, that was the laughter and the proximity. That was all. They were bonding over dislike of Elias. That was all.

At least he’d managed to clear the air.

Jon straightened, and kept smiling as he turned toward the door. “Come along, then, Martin,” he said, and again deliberately infused the word with as much respect as he could muster. “Let’s get to the shops.”

Martin nodded. “Thanks for this, Jon,” he said, and oh dear there was another swoop at the way Martin said his name. Had he always said it like that? Had Jon just not noticed? “Really. Thank you.”

Jon turned away to school his expression. This would not do. He was not going to let himself feel any more… swoops for a subordinate. It just wouldn’t do. No matter how nice of a smile he had. He did not have a crush on Martin, because he could not have a crush on Martin, and that was that.

Feeling a little better--it was always a relief, sorting out his emotions--Jon headed out to help Martin get settled into the Archives.

[sageinacage]

Why I am leaving this blog

This is the truth as of why I'm abandoning my tumblr, @/sageinacage.

CW: swearing/harsher language; mentions of breaking boundaries, sexualization, bondage, non-con/tickle torture, kinks, toxicity, overall rly uncomfortable topics

TLDR at the bottom.

Before I start, I want to say that I’m not talking about everyone in this community. Not everyone is like this, but still a lot of people are, and unfortunately the negatives are louder than the positives.

Having this blog was quite an adventure. It definitely had its ups and downs, but I was quick to notice that it had a majority of downs instead of ups. As of now, I'm dreading being on this page.

I don't feel comfortable here anymore and it's incredibly hard for me to feel any sense of safety in this community, and I honestly feel personally ashamed to be in the MCYT tickle community with the bullshit me and others have seen and experienced.

People go around on anonymous and practically harass creators, I've seen so many rude anons get sent to myself, my friends, and people on my dash. People are also breaking CC's boundaries left and right, and no one will listen to anyone when it's spoken up about. I remember making a post stating that if you send anon hate then DNI, and I lost 4 followers. So disappointing. Actually after I took a screenshot of my boundary/trigger list and posted it, someone sent me an ask and did EXACTLY what was listed in my triggers. It went fully against my boundaries, and it caused me to feel scared whenever I get a notification in my inbox, because I’m scared that somebody is trying to purposely trigger me again; and I shouldn’t have to be on Tumblr with such paranoia as I’m experiencing.

Going onto the topic of the more weird and uncomfortable side of the community, I also remember I made a post a while ago saying "if you support putting minors in heavy bondage, then unfollow," and I lost 5+ followers. To put it bluntly, that’s fucking disgusting. For those people to admit for putting minors in a borderline NSFW situation, since heavy bondage is quite literally something that only happens in the kink world and there’s nothing wholesome or cute about it, and for them to admit to doing it, is fucking weird. Though, I’m thankful those people got off my blog.

I have literally seen someone post art of c!Ranboo in heavy restraints and it didn’t even look remotely fun or consensual. It was pictured, or at least my friends and I interpreted it, that he was being tickle tortured and it was non-con. Though, it’s to be expected when the art is a dark-lit room with an intense tickle machine with heavy bondage, with a blindfold and what looks he is genuinely struggling. What made me even more uncomfortable is that an adult drew it. Another person wrote a fic of c!Ranboo in a lot of bondage with the sign “tickle toy” attached to him. That’s fucking weird. That’s practically something that never gets condoned in a strictly SFW sense. The sad part is that others and I have seen a lot of this happening around.

I was actually informed that an artist the other day on another MCYT tickle server drew literal non-con tickle art of Technoblade (/srs). I was revolted. The worst part is, some people didn't even have an issue with it and reacted to the image with heart emojis. For someone to draw non-con in a completely SFW server filled with a bunch of minors is creepy and weird. Non-con isn't a fun thing, and so many people, including me, have horrible experiences related to it; and for someone to turn it into a "heehee fun tickle" situation is fucked up. For someone to even fantasize non-con as a tickle fantasy just makes me feel sick. There are a few fics like this I've seen as well, unfortunately.

Related to non-con things, I've actually gotten a request before asking me to write Schlatt literally tickle torturing Tubbo, and multiple asks that are similar to that; even when on my request rules it stated not to ask for things related to that. Anything with the word "torture" in it is not consensual, especially in the context it was in. I’ve probably had to delete around 5–8 asks in total from my inbox that were related to non-con or torturous things, even after I already stated in my rules I do not write that stuff.

Another thing I've seen is romantic-esque things written with CCs and then the creator slaps a "/p" onto it, and all of a sudden it's okay? Ranboo has even stated in a stream that he is uncomfortable with his IRL self being written/drawn cuddling his friends, and I see so many fics and concepts of IRL Ranboo cuddling in some way (which I've spoken out about before, but again, no one listened).

Moving on, I've probably met the most toxic people in this community than any others I've been apart of- and I've been apart of a lot, I've been on Tumblr on different blogs since I was 11. For some reason, so many people love to guilt trip here (both my friends and I have noticed and experienced a bunch of people doing it in this community), and the people who get called out for it avoid apologizing like the plague. A person in this community made me and a few others literally scared to say no and scared to advocate for our boundaries, because of how much we got guilt tripped. And no, no one received an apology. But still, people DEFENDED this person, even though me and other people spoke out and explained how this person hurt us. That’s so fucking upsetting. I automatically don’t feel safe in a community where people willingly associate with a literal manipulator and someone who hurt probably over 10 people in total (/srs).

Another thing I've noticed is that so many people seem entitled to something. For example, when I got practically harassed by anons for my discomforts/triggers, basically trying to squeeze out reasoning. No one needs to explain their boundaries/discomforts to you, and this community doesn't understand that from what I've experienced; after being harassed by multiple people on anonymous multiple times, all of which were because of personal reasons I was not obligated to share. No one should be able to say that they got harassed by people on anon for their OWN BOUNDARIES. ON 3 DIFFERENT OCCASIONS AS WELL.

Long story short, I can’t help my triggers. Each of my triggers has developed from trauma I’ve gone through or a bad experience, and I shouldn’t even have to defend myself for my triggers/discomforts if people were respectful and weren’t so fucking entitled for an explanation. So many people in this community can’t mind their own business, and I unfortunately had to learn that the hard way.

I've also seen people project onto IRL CCs. Those are real and breathing people. I understand doing it for comfort, but, the CCs have a literal character that people can project onto, but for some reason, people have to push their things onto real life people. I’ve seen someone headcannon IRL Tommy as trans. That's like the same as your friend "headcannoning" you, a real person, as a different sexuality that isn't what you identify with, and one you may not even be OK with being seen as, and without knowing if you're comfortable with it or not. It's weird.

There are more points I could bring up and more specific things I could state, but I think you got the gist of why I'm leaving. I don't feel comfortable being a member in a community which a lot of its members condone in this stuff.

This is the reason why I'm only active in the MCYT tickle community on Discord, because my server, "Mcytickles," actually respects CCs boundaries and is truly an SFW server, and people are respectful towards each other. It's the only safe space I have in this community anymore, so please do not join it if you exhibit any of these things on this post.

No, I will not be coming back, so please do not try to convince me to stay. I’ve been wanting to leave for about a month now, so this isn’t some impulsive decision. I’ve been in the MCYT tickle community since April, and these problems have always existed but have just gotten worse and more extreme, so I’m leaving for my own mental health and to protect myself from further harm than what I’ve already received.

TLDR: I am leaving this blog and the MCYT tickle community on Tumblr due to the many boundary breaking and unacceptable behaviors I've seen be exhibited, and it makes me not feel safe and comfortable to be here anymore.

I want to thank my mutuals, though. You were all awesome and such kind and loving people, and I’m happy to be your guys’ mutual. I want to thank those who were always so nice to me and hyping up my work, and those who were respectful to everyone and advocated for boundaries. Thank you so much for everything, moots <3 (/gen)

[poplars-and-pomegranates]

Trans Kirishima Headcanons

(This also has some minor Kiribaku in it because I can’t help myself)

1. This headcanon is not by me originally its actually pretty widely accepted from what I’ve seen, however it is a necessary preface for the next bullet point: Kiri has two wlw moms. I hadn’t thought about it until I sat down to write this but maybe one of his moms is also trans, mtf. Though both moms being cis is fine too.

The next headcanon contains mentions of puberty blockers which I know can be a touchy subject (which is why its below a keep reading). If you don’t think trans kids should have access to puberty blockers you can see yourself to the door. Sorry not sorry.

2. Kiri’s moms are really open with him, and they explain things like puberty and “the birds and the bees” earlier than most parents. They had heard so many horror stories of friends starting their period earlier than what is typical, having no idea what it was, and thinking they were bleeding out. The poor boy is immediately uncomfortable when they mention that he would begin to grow breasts in just a few short years. He didn’t have the words to straight up tell his moms “I’m transgender”, since he was so young, but he tried to explain to them as best as possible. Didn’t they know he was going to grow up to be a man? Why would he grow boobs. Silly moms. These comments (which were not just a one time thing, they are continuous) from little Kiri lead the two women to have multiple deep conversations, and then conversations with Kiri, and then finally they speak to his doctors as well. Wanting their son to have the easiest experience as possible growing up the women, with the input of Kirishima’s doctor, decide that at the first signs of puberty their son will be put on hormone blockers. They’ll pause his puberty, and then when Kiri is old enough to actually have the capability to process these thoughts and feelings he will be able to choose if he wants to continue with the blockers and then possibly start testosterone when he becomes an adult or if he wants to get off the blockers and continue with a female puberty. Spoiler alert, he stays on the blockers.

3. Kirishima is well aware that he is incredibly lucky, and honestly priveledged, that his moms are understanding and were as proactive as they are. He will never need top surgery, as the blockers stopped him from growing breast tissue. He was young enough that he never really needed to socially transition. He left elementary school presenting female and started middle school presenting male. There were few enough kids that came to his middle school from his elementary school that no one really said anything. Mina doesn’t even know that he’s trans as they didn’t go to elementary school together.

4. He has some massive self esteem issues, because of these issues he doesn’t feel like he is deserving of having such an easy childhood. So many of his fellow trans peers have such a hard time and he just gets to stroll through adolescence. 

5. In attempt to raise his morale, his moms complement him on how how manly basically everything he does it (even if its not inherently manly). This is how he gets his manliness complex.

6. Kirishima is by no means ashamed of being trans, however his moms convince him that maybe being vocal about it isn’t the best idea. This is another attempt at making his life easier. They know how close-minded some people can be, and they also know just how badly their son wants to be a pro hero.

7. Bakugou is the first person he tells. And even then, he doesn’t tell Bakugou until they’ve already been dating for some time. Kirishima has a panic attack over having to tell the blonde. (I can make a whole post on their getting together and Kiri coming out to Bakugou if theres interest).

8. After he successfuly comes out to his boyfriend, who insists to Kirishima multiple times, that of course he still wants to be boyfriends with the shitty haired loser even if he was born in the wrong body Kiri slowly comes out to the rest of 1-A one by one.

9. Class 1-A have been graduated for an entire 3 years when Kirishima finally comes out to the world. He doesn’t want to hide any of his past from his fans. Losing some popularity points because of some close-minded individuals doesn’t matter to him if it means he can more closely connect to fellow trans folk, be a hero that they can look up to and see that they can accomplish anything they set their minds to. If he loses fans for being who he is then they were never really his fans anyway.

[cazort]

Where is The Male Presence in Sex Positivity?

One thing I find disheartening is the complete lack of any male presence or messaging directed at men and other male-aligned people in sex-positive spaces.

And before you make some “feminist” extremist claim like “Men don’t need sex positivity” let me make some clarifications for you.

The fact that toxic masculinity is still dominant in many aspects of our culture, and that many men are still comfortable voicing or acting out toxic masculinity and all its expressions of sexuality, does not mean that men don’t need sex positivity. Toxic masculinity is not sex positive. Let’s explore how:

Toxic masculinity puts pressure on men to have sex and defines their self-worth by how much sex they have. Sex positivity says it’s great to have (consensual) sex, and great not to have it, and that your self-worth does not depend on whether or not you have sex or how much sex you have.

Toxic masculinity overrides consent both on the ends of women and men. Toxic masculinity encourages men to pressure women, continuing to push boundaries after they are expressed, often overriding consent. But men can also be sexually assaulted or raped because of the toxic masculine belief that men always want sex, causing people to ignore or override “no” signals they try to express. Sex positivity emphasizes consent for all people. It thus protects men against sexual assault and discourages them from sexually assaulting others.

Toxic masculinity is cisnormative, heteronormative, and binaristic. Plenty of men are queer or trans, and these men, along with varying degrees of masculine-aligned nonbinary people (including both AMAB and AFAB people) as well as masculine-aligned intersex people (whether they identify as men or not) often have a tougher time getting comfortable with their own sexuality in our cisnormative, heteronormative, binaristic culture. Sex positivity is essential for these people too. Yes, this includes people on the asexual and aromantic spectrum, as they often struggle more to figure out how their experience of sexuality (or lack thereof) fits into all this.

Toxic masculinity makes huge generalizations about men and about women, in terms of how they think, what they want, how sex works for them, and prescriptive norms of how people “should” act. These generalizations harm anyone who doesn’t fit into the norms. It can lead to bad social interactions, bad sex, and anyone who is different in some way (which, honestly, is most people in at least some ways) feeling ashamed of who they are, how they think, and what they want.

So to me, it seems clear that the need is there.

Just how bad is it? I think it is really bad. Although it’s easy for me to find “locker room talk” on certain corners of the internet, I find it disturbingly difficult to find spaces where men are able to talk about sex openly, in respectful and positive ways, without hiding their names or faces. Yeah, you can find plenty of men on Tumblr and Instagram and other platforms, who are posting sexually explicit content, but they’re largely anonymous, no name, often no face. This contrasts with women where there are plenty of Tumblr blogs where women post their faces and often at least a first name, and a wide range of different content, but also include sexual content. I think this speaks volumes. Most men, even straight cis men, aren’t really comfortable being open about their sexualities, and they only post sexual content online in super anonymous settings, probably because of fear and shame.

I really want to see more male-focused sex positivity, and I want men and other male-adjacent people included in sex positive spaces. Yes, this includes myself, I’m nonbinary and even if my identity is more female of center, I feel many of these struggles myself, both because I am AMAB and because I do have some part of my identity that is male.

I want everyone, including men, to feel comfortable with their sexuality and to have a place where they can talk about it and express it free of shame and criticism. I want everyone to have access to a culture that affirms them and their sexuality, while also steering them in a direction of healthy ways to experience and express it, emphasizing things like consent and the diversity of human sexuality, and steering people away from things like pressure and overgeneralizations. And I want to break down the culture of shame and stigma surrounding sex.

[amadness2method]

Happy Trans Day of Visibility

I’ve never really fit into any specific mold. I’m 6’1, I have large hands, and a lower voice. I like oxfords and tuxedo pants, though I mostly go barefoot in something comfortably stretchy. I love makeup, though rarely wear it (this is tied into some aspects of depression, but that’s for another day.) None of these things actually define gender or sexuality, but they are things we as a society tend to associate with the idea of a binary dynamic. Partly because of this, I’ve struggled with many aspects of my own gender and sexuality throughout my life.

I tried to do what society told me girls were ‘supposed’ to do even at times when it felt counter to what I truly wanted or needed. I am not proud of that, but I also know I am not alone in this type of behavior.

A few years ago, after decades of trying to understand, or allow myself to understand, rather, I came to some conclusions. Long ago, I knew that when I felt attraction to someone, it wasn’t contingent on their gender or presentation. Most of my family had expressed intolerance in some form or another for anything that wasn’t Cis/Het, that it was something to be ashamed of, harmful, and wrong. Words hurt. So does violence.

After years of dealing with that, I was initially terrified of revealing anything beyond the tiniest hint of deviation from being attracted to men. But I was tired of hiding myself away as if there were something wrong with me. On the last day of Pride Month (June 30th, 2016) I spoke with a family member I felt would be the most likely to understand and accept me. I didn’t go into complete detail, as I was testing the waters to see how safe it would be.

In an attempt to be supportive, she compared people who thought a ‘traditional’ gender/sexuality binary was the only way. “Some people really care about mowing their lawn.” I understood what she meant, that some people only focus on what’s in front of them, or what they understand. It felt good because she went on to convey that I was being accepted.

I felt incredible. I shared this story in a private group on Facebook. Combined with the conversation with my family member, it was the first time I had ever tried to ‘come out’ as nonbinary or transgender. I still didn’t know how to go about it, but I felt like it was the first step on becoming the person I was meant to be.

Someone in that group that I looked up to decided that, without reading the rest of the story, the part about mowing the lawn was offensive to them. That their identity as a trans person was being compared to clipping grass.

It wasn’t.

But they went on to describe how the words that had encouraged me to come forward to speak out about trying to find myself had HURT them. That the bit of acceptance I had been given that brought forward my attempt to further come out was something that was offensive to them as a trans person.

I felt incredibly ashamed and heartsick. I had already spent my life questioning my own validity as an AFAB person, and even more so as NB/Trans. I felt like an imposter no matter where I stood. I deleted my post, and left the group because I felt like I didn’t belong. I didn’t belong anywhere. I stepped back inside the closet and closed the door.

A few years later, Good Omens premiered. It did for me what it did for a lot of LGBTQ+ people. It highlighted gender diversity in a way that DIDN’T highlight it. It just WAS. It opened up new doors in my mind, the more I interacted with others in the fandom. I found more people like me, people who also had dealt with many of the same struggles as I had, the same gatekeeping, the same sense of uncertainty, and unfortunately, also some of the same aggressions and violence.

 I’ve denied it in the past, partly out of the habit of keeping it secret, but also because of the lasting effects of gatekeeping and impostor syndrome. I’ve struggled with impostor syndrome quite a bit, even still, especially because I don’t want to surgically alter myself. I had to learn that this didn’t make me any less authentically me. 

While I still don’t necessarily feel safe coming out completely in my personal life, I’ve been peeking through a crack in the closet door for a very long time. 

It has taken me time to accept that it was okay for me to be who I am. Many of my friends in fandom spaces already know, having interacted with me in fandom groups and servers, but I am genderfluid/trans.

If you’ve read this far in the story, thank you. If you do not like this about me, or others like me, it’s your turn to be on the other side of that closet door. Don’t let it hit you on the ass on your way through.

For everyone else, please know that, no matter where you are on your journey, or where your journey ultimately leads, you are seen, you are loved, and you belong. I see you.

[virgowhizzer]

This isn't canon analysis like my last post, but it's a fan theory. It's just my headcanon. You don't have to share it.

I'm not sure Finn would ever write a trans character, especially not in the 80s. I just don't think it's in his repitoure of personal experience. However, this headcanon actually enriches the story and characters imo.

Mendel is a transgender man. I don't think Mendel is secretive about it, I think he's just stealth. In the time period of the Falsettos, being a trans man often meant being stealth. Until recently, it was often called "the invisible identity".

Why would he be ashamed? A pro-gay therapist/aging hippie has no reason to be ashamed of their own queer identity. In fact, I would be surprised to learn that someone like him, who surrounds himself with queer friend, family, and clients, is cishet!

However, there is the issue of misgendering. Before trans identities and gender pronouns were more accepted among the general population, any client who found Mendel to be a trans man probably would misgender him. Not out of malice, but out of a lack of understanding.

As such, I imagine him confiding to transgender clients, so they feel safe and understood.

To a wary trans Mendel, this misgendering threat includes Marvin. After all, Marvin is a guy caught up in his own gender identity of straight manhood. He can't see the forest through the trees.

Which is why it's so significant to me that Mendel's therapy teaches Marvin how to be a queer man, rather than holding onto a facade of straight masculinity. I think that Mendel's perspective on gender and manhood makes the most sense when he's a trans guy.

In Mendel's relationship to Trina, he presents a form of manhood that has been clearly woven so as to be masculine, but also gentle and considerate. It's an expression of male masculinity that I've seen in a lot of trans guys, like myself.

Mendel is no less masculine than Marvin's straightsona, but Mendel's version of masculinity is natural, not forced. It's self-assured, and places him as an equal to Trina. Who better to redefine masculinity as non-toxic than a transgender man?

It's clear to me that Mendel has considered what manhood and masculinity mean, as most cis guys do not. Mendel's gender identity subverts societal norms, while being totally binary.

Still, how would the hetero Trina feel about dating and marrying a transgender man? We know that, at first, Trina could have never known Mendel's transgender identity. But, what about potential "trans panic" once Mendel came out to her? After all, she seems to long for a "conventional" marriage in "Breaking Down"?

Trina and Mendel's relationship seems to fly in the face of straight gender roles, despite being totally binary and hetero. In that way, Trina gets what she wants out of a relationship with a man, without power struggle. Then, because of (not despite) Mendel's gender expression, the relationship works out perfectly. Trina truly loves Mendel for his genuine version of manhood, whatever that may mean.

This might put all of his anxieties surrounding dating and romance into perspective.

Regarding Marvin and Mendel's struggles to retain power over the idea of "family": these struggles have new meaning when you consider Mendel's attempt to claim a euphoric gender role that's long been denied to him.

Honorable mentions: finger guns, he's short (and won't let us forget it), etc.

As a relevant aside, for a personal hero of mine:

The REAL transgender activist, Lou Sullivan, had top surgery and HRT (before The Falsettos was written).

He was a gay transgender man, who educated people on transmasculinity. He put transmasculine narratives in the public eye. He did an amazing amount of activist work.

I bring this up to say: being a transgender man was an invisible identity for so long. But, around the time of the play, that was beginning to change.

I don't bring this up to trivialize historic activism to fit my fictional headcanon. Instead, as a transgender man, I want to say: we were always here, even if we are silenced.

Because of this, the idea of a transmasc character in a gay play set in the 70s-80s is pretty cool and also historically backed.

If you don't subscribe to my headcanon, nbd! It's just a personal theory. I put way too much time into this post. I didn't even fully agree with my headcanon at first, but I've sunk so much time into my analysis that I think it would be pretty neat to consider.

[piracytheorist]

So I went down some t*rf tags the other day to find which blogs I should block, as you do, and of course in order to avoid accidentally blocking people who were mocking the ideology or sarcastically agreeing with it, I actually read the posts there and scrolled down some of the blogs.

And with some of the things I saw... it made me understand how they reel people in. In some of the stuff they said, I understood them. I understood their struggle, and their anger, and I got how their feelings could make them burst out the way they do in their blogs. Also the fact that many of the blogs I scrolled down and blocked were by women between the ages of 15 and 19 didn’t help. That’s the exact age where you do the most reckless, the most emotional, and the least experienced thinking. It’s when you think of something and immediately think you’re right, because you’re not developed enough, neither mentally, nor emotionally, nor from the aspect of life experiences, to know better and reflect on how well developed your thoughts are.

And to see them act the same way older t**fs do, like in the ages of 26+... it’s fucking scary. It genuinely feels like a cult, where teen women, frustrated with the misogyny they experience, come to a website to vent out their feelings about that and find passionate adult women agreeing with and supporting them and saying that they’re in the right to hate men and trans women... it solidifies their at then immature thoughts.

Like, give me one (1) cis woman who during her mid- or late teens didn’t hate men, even for just a few months, in reaction to being treated as lesser just for having a female body. Just one. I specifically did. I was, for a couple of years actually, believing the bullshit going around that “Girls are more mature than boys”, that “Girls love truly, boys only want sex”, that “Women are statistically smarter than men” etc etc. But then you grow up, you reflect on those thoughts and you go like “Damn older people are right when they say that teenagers do stupid stuff sometimes”.

And that’s the thing with being a teenager; it’s the time to do mistakes, it’s the time to screw up, to vent out your frustrations, and when you grow older and have more life experience, look back at how you used to think and say “Wow, cringe. Good thing I grew out of that.” Absolutely not saying that everything teenagers do is stupid, if anything, most people start discovering themselves at that age. But that’s it; it’s a start. And on that road you’ll make mistakes, you’ll reflect, you’ll change your mind, you’ll learn, you’ll grow. The things that you start connecting with as a teenager which you keep on in your adult life also change, in the way that you look at them deeper, you understand them differently... it’s like with favourite films. Any movie you love as a teenager and as an adult, you’ll have a different mindset on the two occasions. Even if it brings you back to those times, you still have developed and you see it in a different way. Both ways may be positive, or fundamentally similar, but they’re still different, maybe one is the evolution of the first; it’s still not 100% the same. Because you grew up. It’s kinda sad, in a way.

So the issue I have with indoctrinating young women into the t**f ideology from so early on, is that it’s an ideology based on hate. By saying that women are only those who experience misogyny, you’re basically normalizing misogyny and abuse, and averting the blame. You’re saying that it’s expected from men to be misogynistic, and that women should band together against the oppression... instead of looking into why men are misogynistic and looking how you can inspire change in that. It’s victim blaming, basically.

By saying that “trans women are not women because they don’t grow up experiencing the effects of misogyny and patriarchy on themselves” (in a way that’s bullshit but as a cis woman I can’t expand on that, read trans women’s stories instead), you’re putting the responsibility of erasing misogyny on trans women. And again, you’re normalizing the abuse, and you’re defining your gender by the abuse you went through.

Like, fuck no. I was bullied for more than half my school life. It has impacted me greatly, many of the emotional scars I carry them still, my character has been affected by the abuse I went through, but by fuck no does it define me. I choose to try to be kinder. I choose to see abuse as wrong. I choose to be an educator so that I can help bullying stop being a thing in the schools I’ll be teaching. And not because I feel ashamed, or that I pity children who are being bullied, but because I want to make this world a better place, because I believe in teaching the younger generation into not perpetuating any kind of hateful ideology.

That’s not what t**fs do. They just say they hate men and perpetuate the idea of female supremacy... as if women, even women who are privileged in every way other than having a female body, can never do wrong.

Like on one hand, they deify JKR who said that “I am not a victim, I do not pity myself and I’m growing out of my trauma strong” in a very, very victim-shaming way, and on the other hand they define their femininity on the fact that they’re victimized by the patriarchy. Make it make sense.

And in general, it is still an ideology based on hate. When you take a group of people that are struggling both on the inside (either through gender dysphoria or through the pressure of not feeling free to express themselves) and on the outside (either because they’re bullied if they act “out of the gender norm” or because of transphobia if they come out), and you hate on them, when you put the entire responsibility of erasing unrealistic expectations on beauty and appearance for women on that specific small group that’s in a fundamentally disadvantageous position... bro I don’t know what you call it, I call it targeting. You have your frustrations with the patriarchy and sexist men, and because those people won’t listen to you - mostly because they’re privileged and assisted in that by the system they create - and you take it out on a group of people that’s just trying to live their lives in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone.

Like, I saw someone being upset by people comparing t**fs to nazis because she’s Jewish and I’m like... how the heck can you not see the similarities? How can you grow up Jewish and not see that it’s wrong to target an entire group of people, massively hate on them, say that they “have an agenda” just because they want to be themselves and aren’t hurting anyone? How can you not see that cherry-picking the unkind or misled ones and defining the entire group by those few people is wrong?

In fact, how can you not see that “trans women are perpetuating Hollywood’s beauty standards for women” has the exact same basis as “immigrants of colour are stealing white people’s jobs”?

And you may say, “Lillpon, you’re doing the same with t**fs right now. You’re going out there and blocking them after having said you hate blocking people” and I’ll say, I am not hating on them. As I said, I’m scared by seeing how many of them are teenagers, but at the same time, it’s telling. It’s a cult-like mentality, it finds people who are frustrated with how they are treated, who feel wronged, who feel they’re in an unjust world, and it takes those feelings and targets it to one specific group or characteristic. For t**rfs, that’s the XY chromosome set. For neo-nazis, that’s non-Caucasian races. The whole “finding young people who are alone, who see that the world is unjust, who feel no-one listening to them and indoctrinating them to an ideology of hate” is point-blank exactly how neo-nazi groups work. Here is a very interesting TED talk on the matter by a former neo-nazi, if you’re interested.

Also, I never said I hate blocking people, or that I think it’s wrong. I just don’t think it’s something to be proud of, and in fact I’m not proud for blocking those people, I even feel a little guilty as I understand how many of them are just victims of indoctrination.

You’ll say, “But Lillpon, a lot of neo-nazis are spoiled, privileged white men! How can you know how privileged t**fs are??” And to that, I’ll turn communist and whisper in your ear, “The privileged are few. They’re the minority. And they depend on the lower classes fighting against each other so that people forget that it’s the privileged who make all the laws and standards that hurt all the lower classes.” To that extent, you can never, never know who truly hides behind the blogs and twitter accounts with “r*dfem lesbian” on their bio. There are many occasions, especially on twitter, where accounts that claimed to be queer poc were found out to be run by straight white men.

... So, who can guarantee that everyone running a blog with “r*dfem lesbian” on their bio is actually a cis, lesbian woman? And again, on its basis, it’s the same.

Neo-nazism is putting the blame on people of colour; that not only causes a rift between neo-nazis and poc, but also between neo-nazis and white people who oppose them. It’s in fact a pawn so that the white people in power - the people who are responsible for the problems poc and lower class white people face - can avoid having everyone against them. They give poc and less-racist lower class white people a scapegoat.

T**f ideology is putting the blame on people born in male bodies - absolutely no matter what their character is. Again, that causes rifts between t**fs and cis men, t**fs and trans people, and t**fs and cis women who support trans rights. Instead of focusing on seeing how we can stop cis men from being sexist - which of course will inconvenience the men in power who rose so high because misogyny is holding women back - we’re fighting against each other. It’s again, a pawn, a scapegoat, to distract us from blaming the one who’s truly to blame.

If anything, if you’re a t**f, the fact that what you do is helping the white men in power - because absolutely nothing you or your friends can do can affect them in a negative way - should be a reason by itself to not be a t**f. But what do I know.