#i don’t think i’ve ever been this delusional about someone

[thefleshyougoveggie]

my friend just said “i have never seen you this delusional before” AND THEY ARE SO RIGHT. like damn… it’s never been like this

[strawbeerossi]

Grading Papers

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: You are Dr. Reid’s TA. One night, he asks you to stay late and help grade papers, only to see you worked up. It’s a good thing he has the perfect solution for that.

Content/Warnings: Power imbalance, age gap (20s/40s), sexual tension, thigh riding, praise.

Word Count: 1.2K

Kinktober Day Twelve: Thigh Riding

Navigation || Kinktober Masterlist || AO3

Whenever Dr. Reid had approached you about staying a little later after your class to assist him in grading papers, you reluctantly agreed. It wasn’t like you were uncomfortable with him, in fact it was the complete opposite. Ever since you’d been placed as a TA for his class, you had a massive crush on the older man. Every person in your class did, honestly. There was a reason he had the most students auditing his classes, he was very attractive and his dumbfounded reaction to learning so many students used the class just to look at him just added to his charming demeanor.

He was an understanding man, always willing to listen and work with any student who needed his assistance. It didn’t help that he had a million dollar smile, one that made your heart flutter when it was flashed in your direction. You were in love with a man who was surely old enough to be your father.. Yet you felt no shame.

You’d had vivid fantasies, ones where Spencer would call you in his office and push you against the wall, taking you right there while proclaiming how he’d had his eye on you since he met you. 

You could admit you were a little delusional but nobody could blame you. Who doesn’t want professor Reid to bend them over his desk and-

You were cut off by a throat clear, making you snap out of your thoughts. “It’s good to see you, thank you for coming by. I appreciate you coming to assist me tonight.” He could’ve done it by himself, in all honesty. The papers were quick and easy to blow through, especially with the ability that Spencer had when it came to reading. Instead, he’d invited you here for something else..

“Oh, it was no problem. I didn’t have much else that needed to get done and it is my job to help you when you need it.” You spoke while offering a smile, discarding your backpack before putting it on the floor by his desk. “I’m so glad to hear that. I went ahead and split up the assignments equally.” He assured while passing over a stack of typed up research papers. “I have a chair over here that you can take. My desk is big enough to fit both of us.” He chuckled and gestured to the chair pulled up beside him.

The idea of being so close to Spencer had your cheeks heating up, head nodding as you approached his side and pulled out the chair to seat yourself. It was like you were a horny teenager who was getting worked up just by having your knee touch his, the warmth of your body and the tension bubbling over. “You alright?” Spencer soon asked, an eyebrow raising at how fidgety you were. He was a profiler and you knew that, you’d learned he could see all the tells and read you like a book if he really wanted to. Still, you lied. “Oh! I think I’m just a little scatterbrained tonight.” You tried to save yourself the embarrassment of telling the older man your perverted and sinful thoughts. 

There was a huff that fell from Spencer’s lips, his hands coming out to gently grab your hips before tugging you into his lap. The sudden action had your eyes widening, propped up in the male’s lap as you quickly turned your head to look at him. “Dr. Reid!” Your voice came out in a squeak, making the man shrug his shoulders nonchalantly. “You’re free to get up but given your body language, I can tell this is much more than being scatterbrained. Believe me, I know the signs of someone being turned on. As much as most won’t believe it, I’ve been around enough women to know the signs.”

He was chuckling as he brushed your hair off of your shoulder when you made no effort to move. “I have an offer to make. Don’t worry, you won’t be penalized for saying no, I’ll just back off.” He had to preface his point of not wanting to push things too far beyond your comfort zone. The idea was crazy, the man could lose his license to teach and be blacklisted from teaching. However, you felt just a little desperate. That was what made you nod your head slowly. “Y-yeah, okay.”

His large hands were resting against your hips while helping you stand, his hands moving to your pants to get them unbuttoned and tugged down your legs. “You seem so desperate. I bet you think about this a lot more than you’re letting on.” His tone was like velvet, his gaze on the panties that hugged your waist. 

“How desperate are you though?” The question made you shiver as his hands were ever so gently lifting you up before perching you on his thigh with a soft smirk. This was him expecting you to crumble, to melt while rubbing yourself on his thigh..

You fed right into it, hips rocking steadily against the clothed thigh. The friction of the creases in his slacks against your clothed clit had electricity shooting through your body, mouth agape. “There we go. Does that feel good? Desperate little bunny.” He cooed, his hands guiding your hips as he was fixing the position of his thigh and pushing it up to apply pressure to your needy pussy. “Surprised you’ve lasted this long. You know, you aren’t exactly subtle with the way you look at me.” 

Your face was heating up as he’d caught you, calling you out on your shameless fantasizing whenever you thought he wasn’t paying attention. “You’re so precious.” He began while chuckling softly, his words making your hips speed up on his thigh as you were rubbing your cunt along the creases of his pants, the delicious friction making you roughly grip his thigh.

“Gonna cum on my thigh and soak your panties with your cum?” He questioned, lips now pressing kisses along your shoulder. “Fuck, yes.” You whined, the slick arousal from your panties already seeping through and causing a small wet patch on his right thigh. “Well, what are you waiting for? These papers aren’t gonna grade themselves.” He mused, words dripping with amusement at you, one of his best TAs, left to a whining and whimpering mess while your desperation had you humping his thigh for relief.

The warmth spread over your body, a thin veil of sweat decorating your forehead as you let your head tilt forward, mouth agape while ragged breaths escaped your lips. The rush of arousal shot through your body, nails digging into the part of his thigh that you held as you were hitting your peak, a whine leaving your lips as you could feel the slick seep through your panties, leaving you with uncomfortably wet panties. 

“There we go!” He cooed, gently rubbing your lower back as he was letting your shaking body lean back against his broad chest. “You can sit there as long as you want,” He commented with a chuckle as he was scooting his chair up to the desk while he was getting a few papers from his desk to read them.

[theautisticwriter]

Love Letters: Yandere! Helluva Boss characters X G/N Reader

Characters- Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, Loona, Stolas, Asmodeus, Fizzarolli

Show- Helluva Boss

Genre- romantic, yandere

Summary- Mini love letters from your not so secret stalkers admirers!

Warnings- swearing, pet names, yandere themes, mentions of planned kidnapping, stalking, delusional characters, unwanted attention

Word count- 1.5K

Extra notes- I have a Hazbin Hotel version of this uploaded as well!

key: f/l = first letter of your name, y/n = your name, n/n = your nickname

———————————————————

By this point you know who it is y/n, I’m the only person COOL enough to send u romantic as fuck letters like the old people do

Sorry for eating the food u made last night, when i was raiding ur fridge it looked so fucking good (and it was, who knew u could cook :P). i left u a pony as a replacement, u can’t eat it but it’ll make u think of me ;) and that pony cost me a FUCK ton of money, collectors addition and shit. i know, bad fucking ass right??

the stupid shitty loud alarm u installed didn’t work when i came in, ud be much safer with me and loony. that’s the plan anyways babe, u have NO idea the fucking creeps that live down here, they’re all fucking animals and ur…not, a fucking asshole i guess.

i drew you smth (it’s the thing stuck on the back of the envelope with the glitter glu)

^glue

it’s me and u holding hands, like other couples do. we’re better than those corny fuckers tho, hence the crowns on our heads.

ignoring my texts, BLOCKING ME (still upset about this BY THE WAY) and then ignoring my very nice letters is kinda a dick move f/l, but it’s whatevs. everything is almost ready for ur move in. i cleaned up n everything :D

from the only bitch worth ur time,

blitzø

<3 (ignore that, moxxie threw a gun at me and my hand slipped, might fire him)

———————————————————

Hiya sweet cheeks!!!

It’s Mills here, just checking in! Via letter! Ain’t that just the fanciest little thing? Mox said it’s the best way to show thought and care to someone, so here’s all my thoughts and care, just for you!

How’ve you been? Good I hope, I’ve been just peachy thanks for asking! My Ma and Pa are super excited to meet ya one day, they’ve even started planning the wedding! Now I told them to slow their horses down, and not the overwhelm ya, we’ll get to that don’t you worry darlin.

Im just so excited to write this letter for you! Ain’t it so romantic?? I’m practically squealing in delight at the thought of you opening this and swoonin’, that’s what you’re doing, right?

Now i’m writing this on my break, and my boss really needs me back in the game! I got employ of the month! Most amount of kills, with the best and bloodiest results baby!

Until next time sweetheart,

Your Mills! ♡

———————————————————

Hi y/n,

It’s Moxxie here, I was a little nervous to send this letter to you, but I always try to follow my heart, and my heart was telling me to communicate with you in the most romantic way I know how due to our current circumstances of being so far away. It’s hard, for the both of us i’m sure, but we’ll be okay y/n.

As much as I don’t get along with my father, he has been helpful with my preparations for your arrival. It’s a big deal, moving in together. I’m sure your anxious, I am too, but in the best way possible. Love is pure, and can make somebody feel whole, it’s a wonderful feeling. I never want that to be taken away from me, and you are the source of all my love. That’s why we need to be together, being only half a demon isn’t good for the soul.

We can do lots of fun things together as well, like go to the opera, or to musicals, or I can show you my shooting skills. My boss says that I have a pretty good shot, which is the biggest compliment he’s ever given me. And we can do things you like too, marriage is equal of course. Obviously, this will all happen later done the line, you’ll need time to adjust, and I understand that. I understand you.

I’m running out of room on my page, but I will write to you again tomorrow. Please respond? Just once, y/n? It’d be nice, to hold something from you since I can’t hold you yet.

All my love,

Your Moxxie <3

———————————————————

Uh, hi?

Wait, you don’t put ‘uh’ in letters do you? Or put wait whilst you think, fuck shit fuck

Sorry, I’m new to this. Normally I just send a text to people but, your phone is off at the moment I think? Or you lost it? Or you blocked me?

Either way, I’ll send you these stupid letter things until it’s back on. So, uh, what are you up to? Blitz has been up my ass about meeting you, heads up, when I come get you and bring you to our room he’s gonna go all psycho dad mode and integrate you, but he’ll back off after a while. He’s a dick sure, but he does want me to be happy. And your, likeable or whatever, so i’m sure you’ll get along.

Once you get comfortable at home with me, Blitz said you could work with me at I.M.P. You’ll be like the co-secretary or something. You won’t be put in danger, I won’t let that happen, you’ll just get to sit with me. We can watch things together, if you wanted.

I guess i’ll see you soon, how do you end these?

See you,

Love from,

Regards?

Bye y/n,

Loona.

———————————————————

My dearest y/n,

I hope this letter finds you well. I yearn for your presence here, besides me. It’s quite lonely without you, I will admit my dear. It would be oh so wonderful if you could write back. I understand you may be preoccupied with your current activities, but I can’t help myself from desiring a response. I know, it’s selfish of me to expect you to reply to my letters when you’ll be here with me shortly, but I can’t keep my thoughts at bay at the moment.

Your face is a constant in my mind, night and day, asleep and awake, your voice in my mind calms me when I need it most, your smile brightens the bleariest of moments and so on. You can imagine the difficulties I’m facing with no response from you, but that’s alright. If you can’t write back to me dear, I won’t pressure you. Your time is precious, and we will have all the time in hell quite soon. Isn’t that exciting?

I can give you the life you deserve n/n, any luxuries or mundanities you wish for will be handed to you on a silver platter. Or a golden one, if that’s more to your liking? We can properly discuss the specifics once we are together. How thrilling, the though of you and I together at last.

We truly are written in the stars!

Yours until the end of the sky and then some,

Stolas.

———————————————————

Hey there baby,

It’s been a while, huh? I’m sorry if you feel neglected babe, it’s so hard keeping in contact with you when you’re so far away hun. Wouldn’t it be so much better if you were here with me? Sure I’ve got a lot of meetings, being a sin and all, but I’d be at your beck and call n/n, you could even be my new excuse to leave those awful “business” discussions. They barely talk business with me, it’s just complete bullshit babe.

I know the lust ring can be intimidating, we have quite the reputation, but I assure you, love is not a foreign concept to me. Romance is one of my most favourite things! Though that’s a secret, let’s keep that between us, yeah? That side of me is reserved for you n/n.

It’s so boring over here without you, I feel like i’m just lounging around and last time I checked, I was the lust sin, not the sloth sin. We’d have so much fun together babe! Can’t you picture it? Even if you can’t yet, I can wait. Having you near me will be enough, you are enough just as you are.

Sincerely yours,

Asmodeus (Ozzie) xoxo

———————————————————

Heya cutie!

Letters are a lot harder to write than I thought they’d be y’know? I’ve rewritten this like 16 times already, sheesh. It just feels so awkward, I can’t see your reaction to my words which means I can’t fix any mistakes I’ve made :(. I’m sure I haven’t made any though! Right? This letters going really well so far and is definitely wooing you, right, y/n?

Hah, I’m asking questions as if you can reply right away. Silly old me, I don’t know what i’m worrying about! We’re meant to be together. I know it’s super sappy, but we’re like soulmates. Soulmates are bound to be together! That’s why I’m bringing you home soon, I can’t wait! I’ve got sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many awesome tricks to show you!

And, the best news, I quit my job!! ༘⋆-ˋˏ ༘⋆-ˋˏ This means, we will have a LOT more time with each other, and you don’t have to worry about Mammon being possessive over me, because fuck him! I’m my own clown! Or, well, your clown.

I can’t wait to see you! This is going to be great for us, I pinky promise :P

Love from,

Fizzarolli !!!! ༘⋆!!,-!ˋˏ!!!

———————————————————

[auras-moonstone]

ursula!! i have a request if you’re up for it:

what if the reader is a singer, let’s say she’s successful like taylor swift and the whole friendship bracelet thing was invented by her and her fans. what if jack made a bracelet with his number on it and gave it to her at her concert, like travis did to taylor? i think that’d be soooo cute!

how was your concert? i hope u had fun!

omfg i love this request!!!!! taylor and travis are so fucking cute, i love them so much. and the shows were amazing, thank you for asking! the energy was incredible and i was so happy with the surprise songs 🥺

friendship bracelets — jack champion

word count: 1,688

pairing: jack champion x singer!fem!reader

summary: jack goes to y/n's concert and hands her team a friendship bracelet with his number, but she doesn't reach out until she sees a clip of him from an interview where he confesses what he did.

warnings: none!

Y/N’S SINGING CAREER HAD BEEN SUCCESSFUL SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING. At only 19 years of age, she was on the peak of her career and currently doing a world tour with sold out stadiums. She was not only praised because of her versatile discography, but also for her lyricism and the unique bond she had with her fans.

Jack loved her music, so he was really excited when the sponsors of the stadium reached out to offer him tickets for the show. Alongside his friends, Jack made friendship bracelets—a cute tradition within the fandom—, and he had the idea of making one with his number on it.

“Do you seriously think you will be able to give her that?” Romeo, his friend, asked in disbelief as they walked towards their seats.

“A guy can dream” Jack simply said.

“I don’t think she sees anyone after the show. The girl performs for three hours.” Willa told him, not wanting him to get his hopes too high.

“Maybe I could give it to someone of her team.”

“She’s a hot, successful singer, J. She probably gets handed so many phone numbers.” his friend said.

Jack sighed. “Okay, I get it. Jesus. Have you two ever heard of the term ‘positivity’?” he asked bitterly.

“Have you ever heard of the term ‘delusional’?” Romeo asked. Jack rolled his eyes and changed the topic.

It wasn’t that crazy, right?

TURNS OUT ‘DELUSIONAL’ WAS THE RIGHT WORD. After the amazing show, Jack managed to give the bracelet to one of Y/N’s security guards and the boy was optimistic about it. But then, after one week of radio silence, he came in terms with reality—she was untouchable. He was an actor in the rising and she was a global superstar, what gave him the idea that she was going to reach out? His friends were right, he was indeed delusional.

“I saw you exchanging friendship bracelets at Y/N’s show! How was it? Are you a fan?” his interviewer asked him.

Jack smiled like a little kid at the question. “Yes, it was incredible. Is there anything that girl can’t do? Everything was mind blowing—her outfits, the visuals, her voice, her performance. It was honestly the best concert I’ve ever been to.” he said in pure awe. “And yes, I’m a big fan.”

“Did you make friendship bracelets or did you just receive them?”

“Both! I made a lot. It was a very therapeutic experience, to be honest” the young actor laughed. “I actually made one for Y/N, with my phone number on it.” he admitted shyly.

“You’re kidding!”

“Nope” he laughed awkwardly.

“Did she get it?”

“I don’t know. She hasn’t reached out, but she receives lots of gifts so maybe she hasn’t seen it yet, or maybe she doesn’t text strangers, which makes a lot of sense.”

“Oh my god” the interviewer said in excitement. “That is so adorable! Hope this gets to her! I’m sure the fans will sent her this clip.”

“Oh- please don’t bombard her, guys! I don’t want to make her uncomfortable! It was a silly thing to do.” Jack blushed, instantly regretting having shared the anecdote.

Obviously, his fans didn’t hesitate to do everything in their power to get the video viral. And, as lots of his fans were also fans of hers, the clip appeared on Y/N’s timeline in no time.

She was familiar with Jack. Even though he hadn’t starred in a lot of movies, he was a part of two huge franchises which Y/N, of course, knew about. And he was also one of—if not the—prettiest guys she had ever seen, so she remembered his face. She could not pass this opportunity up.

code red sabrina!!! come to my house asap

WHAT IS WRONG WHAT HAPPENED

this VERY CUTE actor went to my concert last week and put his number on a friendship bracelet and i just found out

okay???? why do you need me?

i have like a thousand fb, i need your help to find it

um… why don’t you just slide into his dms?

that would be easier, but he made that fb and i want it. pretty please? 🥺

fineeee, omw

“I GOT IT.” Sabrina screamed after hours of going through mountains of friendship bracelets.

“OH MY GOD.” Y/N screamed back, grabbing the bracelet and saving the contact on her phone. “Okay, I’m texting him.”

hey jack, what’s your favorite scary movie? 👀🔪🩸

um… i don’t like this, i’m out

“You’re so lame.” Sabrina laughed.

no wait, i’m sorry i was trying to be cool

it’s y/n y/l/n

very funny 🙄 is this you mason?

no, for real. it’s y/n

i saw your clip from the interview and i literally spent the whole day looking for that fucking friendship bracelet and here i am now :)

i’m sorry i didn’t see it before, i feel awful

is this really y/n?

i’m facetiming you

“Hi!” Y/N said cheerfully when Jack answered. His mouth was agape as he started at his celebrity crush. “Do you believe me now?”

“Holy shit! I wasn’t that delusional after all.” Jack said, making her frown. “Oh, my friends called me delusional for expecting you to text me. They were right for like a week.”

“You should’ve just sent me a dm, you’re verified.” Y/N laughed. “But I actually really liked the bracelet. It was original, and thoughtful and beyond adorable.”

“Thank you.” he blushed. “I’m sorry if my fans were harassing you with that clip, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No! I’m glad you did. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have known about you trying to get me your number.” she smiled. “I really liked you in avatar and scream, by the way! Wish I’ve known you were at my concert, would’ve liked to meet you.”

“It’s not late.” he found himself saying. “I mean, we can meet up, if you want.”

“Like a date?” Y/N asked nervously.

“Yes… only if you’d like it to be a date.”

“I would love to, Jack!”

Y/N AND JACK HAD THEIR FIRST DATE ONE WEEK AFTER THEIR FIRST CONVERSATION. Jack went to the singer’s house, for more privacy. They were aware that if they went to a restaurant, it would be all over the media and they preferred to keep quiet at least until they knew things between them were going to be serious.

After a couple of dates and weeks of talking, they both knew something good and real had formed between them. Y/N felt completely normal around Jack. He wasn’t like other boys she had dated, who always wanted to go out and make sure the reporters saw them or tried to seduce her with their expensive cars and luxurious mansions. Jack was grounded, kind, sweet and funny. He wasn’t intimidated by her success and her fame. Quite the contrary, Jack admired her and was in awe every time he saw her writing down lyrics on her journal or played songs on the guitar for him. Y/N was sure he was the one, and she wanted to call him hers.

“I have something for you.” Y/N said as they were laying on her bed. Jack was on his back, while the girl was sprawled on top of him.

“What?” he asked curiously.

Y/N got off him to grab something from the drawer. “I wanted to ask you something, but I thought this was the right way considering how it all started.”

Jack laughed in confusion. “You’re not making any sense.” Y/N handed him the thing she was hiding on her palm and Jack fell silent.

The blood rushed into his cheeks, and a smile broke into his face. His heart was beating so fast he was surprised they weren’t able to hear it. His eyes lifted up to find her anxious ones. Y/N was biting her lip nervously, and her hands played with the hem of her skirt as she waited for the boy to say something.

“You’re so cute.” he finally said, holding tightly onto the friendship bracelet that read ‘Be my boyfriend?’. “Yes, I’d love to be your boyfriend, Y/N.” Jack grabbed her wrist and brought her back into his chest, and then captured her lips with his. “I can’t believe this is happening. Feels like a dream.”

Y/N laughed “I know, I can’t believe you’re mine.“ she pecked his lips. “There’s one more thing. I have a show in two days.”

“Yeah, I know.” he furrowed his eyebrows, not knowing where the conversation was headed.

“Would you like to go? Like, be on the VIP tent” she said, and then added in a shy tone. “As my boyfriend.”

Jack widened his eyes. “Are you sure? I have no rush to make this public.”

“I know, and I adore you for not pushing me, but I want this. I really do.”

The boy’s smile shone brighter than the sun. “I’d love to, babe.”

So, two days later, Jack stood on the vip tent, watching his mesmerising girlfriend perform. He blushed through the entire show, because the singer couldn’t stop looking at him—especially when singing love songs.

Y/N was also having the time of her life. Seeing Jack singing along to her songs, dancing and recording everything with a huge smile like a proud boyfriend was one of the most heartwarming sights in the world. Her favourite part, though, was running straight into his arms at the end of the show. Despite being covered in sweat, Jack kissed her all over her face as he muttered how amazing she was.

“Look at your arms!” Y/N laughed as she looked at the friendship bracelets that were practically covering all of his arms.

“They’re killing my blood circulation but they’re so cute” Jack laughed. “One girl called my king of manifestation.”

Y/N bursted out laughing. “I should write a song about it.”

“You better.” he kissed her temple. “Let’s go home, you need to rest.”

“I’m so happy.” Y/N said as they climbed inside the van. She rested her head on Jack’s chest as he played with her hair.

He looked down at and smiled before pressing a kiss on her forehead. “Me too. Never been happier.”

[patrophthia]

Heya, I don't know it's already done or not but can you please write about the egoistic yandere Tom Marvolo Riddle with a hugeeee obsession and love🤔 on introverted half blood slytherin y/n who doesn't give a f*ck him and his looks like other girls of Hogwarts!🫠

thank you for sending this in, i was really hesitant on writing this bc i’ve never wrote anything like this before so i hope you like it!

know you better | tom riddle

pairing: tom riddle x fem!reader

warnings: yandere!tom, very obsessive and delusional way of thinking, death, even more delusions

To fall in love with you was the easiest thing Tom has ever done. All you had to do was merely be in the same vicinity as him and he’d found himself more than just head over heels over you. 

For you to fall in love with him on the other hand, that surely was one of the hardest things he had to do in life. You don’t look at him —not because, unlike the others, you didn’t dare to but because you weren’t interested in him. You don’t offer him a smile when he greets you good morning. You don’t throw yourself at him when he turns a blind eye when he catches you sneaking around the castle at night. You don’t care for him. 

And quite honestly, it is driving him insane. What is it that everybody has that he doesn’t? Why does everyone else get to see you smile when you won’t even turn in his direction? Why won’t you just admit you want him as much as he wants you? 

Though you don’t show it, Tom can read between the lines. He thinks —no, he knows that you’re acting indifferent to play hard to get. He knows you want him, you just won’t admit it.

He tries to be a gentleman about his intentions at first, sliding up to you whilst you hover your cauldron during potions. He calls out your last name cautiously, careful to not startle you; he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he accidentally hurts you. You turn to him, a small frown appearing on your lips. “Riddle?” 

He skips the formalities, not bothering to beat around the bush. “Would you like to go out this weekend?” 

You fix him a look, and then, “no.” 

You didn’t hear him right. That’s what he tells himself. Or maybe he’s confused, because why wouldn’t someone want to go out with him? Tom clarifies himself, “I meant on a date.” 

You turn back to your cauldron, ending the conversation as is. “No.” 

He was certain that you’re playing hard to get now. That was until one of his goons —Malfoy, that was his name, started noticing that Tom’s eyes tended to wander whenever you were in the same room as him; until Malfoy tells Tom exactly why you’d said no. 

“Macmillan, that’s his name. Walburga says they’ve been going out for a few months now.” You have a boyfriend? No, no, that can’t be right. There’s no way you had a boyfriend when you were so clearly playing hard to get with Tom this entire time. 

Was it because your ‘boyfriend’ was holding you back from your true love? Or were you using this ‘boyfriend’ as bait? Had you known that it was time for Tom to create his next Horcrux and had needed a new sacrifice? How thoughtful of you to take care of these little things for him. 

Luckily Tom’s smart, he’s known to be smart, and he’s smart enough to read you like an open book even though you won’t spare a second of your time on him. He admires it, how hard you’re playing this role of not caring for him when you’re clearly as indicated with him as he, you. 

He’ll take up on your offer, he thinks as he sets out towards his chamber. The Basilisk is a dear friend of his, it’s even dearer when it does these things for him. In Parsel tongue, Tom says his order. “Kill Macmillan. And be careful not to hurt her.” 

The Basilisks set out first, setting off after the aforementioned man; Tom a few steps behind. It isn’t hard for him to follow his dear friend, it leaves a wet trail in its wake for him to follow and it’s even easier for him to know when his friend has done its job from the scream you let out. 

Tom’s clever enough to hide behind the corridors as he waits for his friend to return back to his home. His heart aches to hold you as you scream time and time again, asking for help and he reminds himself to reward you for your amazing acting. 

With the way you’re so desperately clinging onto Macmillan’s body, you almost convince him that you genuinely cared for Macmillan, like Macmillan really was someone you were in love with. But he knows you, he knows you better than you know you. And he knows you love him. 

So he schools his expression to one of worry, if you were really playing the part then he should be a good sport and play it with you. “What’s wrong?” He asks you, not sparing a glance at Macmillan’s frigid body. 

“This —this thing, it came and it—” you stutter out, hiccuping out each word as you swiped at your eyes. Tom places a hand on your own, removing your grip on Macmillan’s body and ignores it when you flinch at his touch. “—it, I don’t know what it did but next thing I knew he was— he was gone.” 

Oh poor you, he sympathises. Such a good girl for him to play your part so well. He pries your other hand away from Macmillan’s body and wraps his arm around you. “It’s okay,” he offers, pressing your face against his chest. “It’s okay, I’m here now. I’ll keep you safe.” 

You sniffle, pulling away from him slightly. And when he realises that you could see the red glow in his eyes, neither of you mention it; for you were too afraid of the man holding you, and he too in love for something so trivial to take part of your conversation.

— from bee: this is so so new to me,, i hope you liked it!

[wttcsms]

i can walk you home and practice method acting ; satoru gojo.

pairing satoru gojo x f!reader   word count 1.3k   synopsis saying goodbye. content contains hurt/probably no comfort, bittersweet ending, allusion to character death, jjk 236 leak inspired author’s notes gege needs to sleep with both eyes open, no sweet dreams 4 him >:(

“You know, some people consider coffee dates as not real dates,” you point out. “Very cheap—”

“—your coffee was eight dollars, don’t start with me—” 

“—low-effort—”

“—you don’t even wanna know what I just went through before meeting you here—”

“—shows no interest—”

“—I’ve been interested in you since before I even knew you.” 

You pause your half-hearted attempt at teasing him. The truth is, there is nothing cheap, low-effort, or uninteresting about Satoru Gojo. No one has ever held your attention and your affections for as long or as strongly as he does. The world is reduced to nothing more than the cafe the two of you spent a lot of time frequenting beforehand. It’s why everything is in such startling, vivid detail. Some of your best memories are here, and it shows from the warm scent of coffee wafting in the air, and how you got his complicated frozen coffee order just right.

“Smooth. You use that line on all the girls you buy coffee for?” 

“Oh, other girls exist?” Satoru’s bright, cerulean eyes widen in mock surprise. If there’s one thing that your fiance is good at, it’s committing to the bit. No one gets into character as well as he does. 

No one ever will.

Trying to keep your darker thoughts at bay, you try to think of a retort but fall short, settling for, “How can you even be interested in someone before you even know they exist?” 

“Because everyone was boring to me ‘til I met you. All my interest was reserved specifically for you.” He hums. He doesn’t tell you the really sappy stuff he holds inside his heart, like how he thinks his soul knew that it belonged to you and that’s why he could never connect with anyone else. He figures, foolishly, that he still has time to bring it up later.

Later, when he’s not choking on his own blood and lost in the illusion you have shrouded the both of you in.

My beautiful, delusional girl. 

He says it to tease you, but the fondness with which he laces the words in only further proves how completely, utterly whipped he is for you. Somewhere deep inside of him, he’s well aware that he’s in your domain. That he is not sitting inside the cafe he nervously took you to the first time he got the nerve to ask you to hang out. He knows that this is nothing more than a cleverly crafted illusion used to make saying goodbye a lot easier for the two of you. 

Everything is just so vivid. The colors, the scent, you. He knows it’s selfish to want to drag out this process even longer. It must be tiring for you, to have to mentally strain to maintain this realistic illusion while also tricking his mind into ignoring the pain he’s actually in. He can see it in your eyes; the ones that never seem to want to leave his face, almost like you’re scared you’re going to forget him the moment you blink. 

He stretches, fakes a yawn. “It’s getting kinda late, don’t ya think? I should probably head home.” 

“I’ll walk you there.” You say, getting up from your chair. 

“You think a man like me can’t defend himself?” You want to remember Satoru like this: messy hair, eyes brimming with mischief and life, cocky grin. Maybe it’s your heart acting on its own accord, altering reality for your own benefit, but Satoru looks younger in this lighting. Happier. At peace.

“I think you’re the type of man people need to be defended from. It’s my civic duty to make sure you’re not wreaking havoc.” 

You know that time is limited. You know that neither of you really want to acknowledge what’s truly happening. Satoru has to go, and all that he’ll be leaving you behind with is the aftermath. If you try hard enough, you can manipulate your minds into thinking that these seconds are much longer than they actually are, but—

—he deserves to rest. 

That’s why walking him to his front door is an ordeal that lasts a total of two seconds. One blink, and the cafe has vanished. Now, he’s standing in front of his apartment door, still smiling, still bright, still alive. 

“So, you going to invite me in?” You tease him, keeping your tone lighthearted, as if he doesn’t know you well enough to know how you’re truly feeling.

“After just the first date?” He pretends to look offended. “I don’t know what kind of man you take me for, but I don’t let just anyone spend the night, especially only after a coffee non-date.” 

“Fine.” You pretend to contemplate, the smile on your face perhaps the only real thing here. “Will you let me hit on the second date, at least?”

“I’ll think about it.” And then, Satoru cocks his head to the side. “I’ll see you the same time next week?”

You don’t want to think about the real world. In this world, it’s just the two of you, and that’s all that matters.

You swallow back any sadness; Satoru swallows back any blood. 

“Text me where, and I’ll be there.” You say this, knowing that you would gladly follow Satoru right through the door that beckons for him. He’s smiling, like he knows what you’re thinking about.

“I’ll pick you up when it’s time. But, uh, if I don’t text you back soon, sorry in advance.” He gives you that boyish look of his, the face he always makes when he’s about to make an incredibly stupid joke. “I have a bad habit of ghosting people.” 

A kind of guttural sound leaves your throat; a choked up laugh and a barely concealed sob. Ghosting, really, Satoru?

“It’s okay. I have a bad habit of liking guys that are bad for my health.” 

“If you don’t hear from me, just know that it’s me and not you.” 

“I love being fed cliche lines like this. Tell me some more.” Tell me everything, you want to beg him. Let’s just stand here forever, and you’ll drag out the time, and he can talk for as long as he wants to about anything and everything. 

“Feeling a bit sleepy. The cliche lines will have to wait until next time.” He clears his throat. “Hey, I know we just had our first date—”

“—coffee doesn’t count, you still owe me a real first date.” 

He sticks out his tongue, childishly, at your interruption. “Is it too soon for me to tell you that I love you? I don’t normally move this fast, but I really do love you. Hope this doesn’t scare you away.” 

He could never scare you away.

You should tell him that, but something in his eyes and in his smile let’s you know that he’s already aware.

“Is it too soon for me to tell you that I love you, too?”

“Yeah, it’s kinda crazy. Lucky for you, I like crazy girls.”

“Please don’t go to sleep yet, Satoru. You haven’t even walked through the door yet, and I already miss you.” In the illusion you’ve created, you can take away that door from him. It won’t change the truth, but it can certainly prolong the pain that comes with it. You don’t, though. Even if his hand wasn’t already reaching for the doorknob, you would never take the choice away from him.

“Yeah, I have a lasting effect on women, what can I say?” He laughs, but there’s none of his trademark humor woven in it. The world goes quiet. “I’m feeling really tired, [Name]. I’m gonna head to bed now.”

“Goodnight, then. Sweet dreams, Satoru.” 

He looks at you. Really looks at you, like he’s trying to embed the memory of your visage on his pupils, to have it so permanently etched in his mind that he’ll still be able to remember you every time he closes his eyes.

“As long as you’re in every single one of them, they will be.” 

He opens the door.

a/n: reader's cursed technique is the ability to use cursed energy to "manipulate" reality; in all actuality, you create illusions, able to trick others into seeing whatever you're crafting. it helps in trapping curses, and letting gojo say goodbye to you without making you look at him choke on his blood

[celabi]

tbh, I feel like I’ve been drifting away from the original scummy scara I made when I first made the au, so I would like to let everyone know that he is a BIG freak. the type of guy you avoid because he’s just… so creepy and weird. like, restraining order, banned in fifty states type of weird.

he will steal a pen you’ve been nibbling on in class, and do all sorts of things to it that you don’t wanna know. like shoving it down his throat or something idk.

he goes through the trash and takes the gun you spat out, and chews it as if he were a man on death row. and at this point he might as well be.

he ‘makes’ you home made lunch. (which is just store brought food he put into a lunch box). awe, so thoughtful, right? NO, he passed out after cumming so much to replace the dressing on your salad.

spits in your drink, so it’s almost like you’re kissing in a way, because his saliva is in your mouth yada yada. he’s so delusional, gosh.

this man jerks off to anything. pictures of you in a bikini. pictures of your panties that he snuck a photo of from under your skirt. hell, he has even fapped it to a post he found on one of your family members facebook where you look like the most ordinary person ever. anything.

he acts like an angel around you, but the moment you turn your back, he has this dark, violent glint in his eyes at anyone who isn’t you.

he STANK. like discord moderator who manages thirty different servers. he plays video games 24/7 and eats only fast food + he lives in his mothers basement so minus points.

his mind is SO dirty too. like you could be complaining about this one girl who has been getting on your nerves recently, and all he can think about is bending you over the table and running his hands all over your body. he thinks of you when he shouldn’t, and in ways he shouldn’t, even before you knew his name.

yeah he’s so sweet, and kisses the ground you walk on. but he also would love nothing more then to knock you up and keep you as his cute little spouse who he can come home and make love to every day.

god and he’s a brat too, don’t get me started. like, throwing tantrums when you decide to sit with someone else at lunch. starting fights with people who so much as look in your general direction (ones that he loses cause he is so small and scrawny). screaming profanities at the professors who separate your seating plans in lectures, and so on.

if you’ve been keeping up with my posts, you’ll know that this man has a literal sex doll replica of you he sleeps with at night. it’s so detailed to the point where there is freckles in the exact same spot they are on your skin. (even some moles and beauty marks that you didn’t even know you had, and god knows how he does).

has a shrine of you in his closet. strands of your hair he has collected. lipgloss and chapstick he has stolen from your bag whilst you weren’t looking. accessories like rings and bracelets. nail polish, all the works. and in the middle of this shrine, in all its glory, is a pair of your underwear that he took while you were in the changing rooms. he prays to it. the holy grail.

he has been dating you in his head the moment he saw you, like, gets a little annoyed when you don’t remember your five month anniversary, but the thing is, you didn’t even know you’re dating at all.

I love him. don’t get me wrong, but he is not the man you want to get involved with, like AT ALL.

go for someone like scummy alhaitham, who has (some) self respect 👍

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Fake Dating Homelander

Description: Y/N and Homie have to fake date to get ratings up.

Word Count: 878

Y/N sat in her chair in the Seven's headquarters as Stan told her and the worst person on the planet that it would be good for ratings if they started dating. “Absolutely not.” Her response, Homelander, looked offended by that. “Wow, that was harsh.” He joked but Y/N knew he wasn’t joking. She rolled her eyes. “It would help with ratings.” Stan said. Homelander looked at Y/N, “Yeah come Y/S/N don’t you wanna get the ratings up?” She rolled her eyes again, “Not by dating a dickhead like you.” She said. “Ouch.” Y/N knew that she didn’t have a way out of this but still was not going to go down without a fight. “Can’t you get starlight or Maeve?” “Maeve is a lesbian and Starlight is already in a relationship that is public. You’re not.” Stan said. “Okay first of all, Maeve is bi and second I don’t wanna have to act like I’m in love with him.” Y/N pointed at Homelander. “It won’t be that bad.” He gave her a fake smile. Y/N didn’t return it. 

And just like that the relationship was announced a day later. Homelander took her hand as he talked to the crowd. “I love her and she is the light of my life and I’m so happy that we can be public now.” Y/N wanted to puke but instead gave a fake smile and kissed him on the cheek. She hoped someone out there would see through the bullshit and start a rumor.

“Ugh finally.” Y/N said as she let go of Homelander’s hand. It’s been a week and it was already annoying. Homelander didn’t seem to mind it, in fact Y/N had the theory that it was his idea. “Quit being a baby.” He said. She rolled her eyes and entered the elevator that he unfortunately entered as well. “You act like I’m so bad.” “Cuz you are.” “I save lives, I’m a fucking hero. You should be grateful to be with someone like me.” She wanted to laugh at him. He seriously was that delusional. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” She said and exited the elevator. 

Over time Y/N noticed that Homelander wasn’t being pushy with her and he was actually being sweet. Even off camera. She didn’t know why or really understand it but it was kinda nice. A year would pass by before the truth would be revealed. Homelander was supposed to purpose to Y/S/N in front of the whole world. Y/N jaw dropped at the idea. “Why can’t we just break up? Fake dating is one thing but now marriage?” Homie kept silent as she ranted about how it wasn’t a good idea. Stan didn’t care how she felt about it at all, it was going to happen. 

“I have an announcement to make.” He said as the audience clapped. “As you guys may know, the woman next to me is the best person i’ve ever met.” He turns to Y/N as the crowd goes wild. “She is so kind, so caring and so beautiful. This past year has been amazing for me.” Y/N felt herself go red at what he was saying. “But it would be better if it were real.” Everyone goes silent at his words. “Y/N, This past year has been amazing, us fake dating has made me realize that it’s not fake, at least for me. I’ve fallen in love with you and I want this to be real so..” He gets on one knee causing everyone to gasp. “Will you actually marry me?” Her eyes widened as she stared at the ring in his hands. The smile on his face was genuine and it all clicked in her head. The world was waiting for her to answer as she finally made eye contact with him, “No.” His face dropped but he remained on one knee. “I won’t, I can’t marry you.” She said and looked at the crowd. “I’m sorry.” She said and ran off the stage, leaving him there, embarrassed. She turned him down in front of the whole world.

She ran to her dressing room and shut the door. She leaned against it and slid down it. What the actually fuck just happened? She knew that he would want to kill her after embarrassing him but why couldn’t he just stick to the script? What made him think 100% that she would say yes?  A knock at the door broke her from her thoughts. She got up and opened the door. He stood there with a straight face, eyes that didn’t have any emotion behind them. She stood in fear as he didn’t say anything to her but stared. “I don’t know why you went off script and decided to do that. I mean what made you think I would say yes to you?” She asked. “You should’ve either way. You embarrassed me.” He growled. “I don’t love you, let alone like you.” She said. He smiled, an evil and scary smile. “Oh you will. Trust me you will.” He said and left. She stood there and thought of what he could’ve meant by that. He couldn’t make her fall in love with him, right? Does he actually think that she could ever love a monster like him?  

[adrienneleclerc]

Hips Don’t Lie

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Hispanic/Latina! Reader

Summary: There is an after party after the premiere of “the ministry of ungentlemanly warfare” and Henry meets his co star, Eiza Gonzalez’s friend, Y/N.

Warning: spelling and grammar errors, non translated Spanish’s because I get lazy.

A/N: this is my first ever real person fanfic so I hope you like it.

Henry was on the red carpet answering a few questions until it was time to head into the theater with everyone to see his new movie. As he was walking in, he saw Eiza Gonzalez, his costar.

“Eiza, how are you?” Henry said, greeting her.

“Henry, que guapo te ves! I’m definitely not used to your clean shaven look. There’s a party after the premiere, are you going?” Eiza asked.

“I’m not sure, I think I’m going to my hotel after this, spend time with the bear.” Henry said and Eiza giggled.

“You should come! I want you to meet my friend, she came back from her European tour la few days ago, I think you guys would hit it off.” Eiza said.

“Are you really trying to play Cupid?” Henry said,

“I just want you guys to meet, I never said anything about wanting you two to date. But if you happen to fall in love with her, don’t forget to mention me in your wedding toast.” Eiza said.

“Are all Mexicans this delusional or just you?” Henry asked, eiza stared at him. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have said that, sorry.”

“Don’t worry my colonizer friend, it’s fine. And it’s probably just me.” Eiza said.

“How come you get to make jokes about my race but I can’t?” Henry asked.

“You are a straight white man, I rest my case, now let’s get inside, I’m pretty sure we have to make a speech before the movie starts, which I find totally stupid.” Eiza said,

The premiere was over and he went to his hotel room. He thought about how it’s been a while since he dated anyone and decided to call eiza.

“Bueno?” Eiza answered the phone.

“Hey eiza, where is the party?” Henry asked.

“Yes, you’re coming, it’s at xxxx” Eiza said.

“I’ll be right there.” Henry replied and hung up the phone. Henry changed out of his suit to something more casual but still presentable and said goodbye to his dog before asking his driver to take him to where the after party was. When he gets there, he was greeted by Eiza in a fitted dress.

“Yes, you’re here! Great decision, Y/N is probably at the bar, mingle while I go find her. Oh my god, Diego! Compa, como has estado, no te ha visto en…” Eiza greeted her friends walking away from Henry. Henry saw Chris drinking at the bar and decided to walk towards him.

“Henry, buddy, how have you been?” Chris asked, hugging him.

“I’ve been great, how’s married life treating you?” Henry asked.

“Really well, I’m very happy to be back in Boston but I can’t lie, I do miss these parties.” Chris admitted. They kept talking and when they played a Daddy Yankee song, Henry heard a voice screaming.

“AAHH!! Es mi canción! Joel, cuida mi bolsa!” the Woman said, downing a shot of tequila before heading to the dance floor. Henry thought it was Eiza but it was someone else. However, when the woman started dancing, Henry couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

“Hey man, who are you looking at?” Chris asked but he just followed Henry’s line of sight and spotted the woman that was basically demanding the attention of everyone else with her dancing, that’s when Eiza approached the two mean at the bar.

“Whoo, go Y/N! That’s my bestie!” Eiza cheered her on.

“What, that’s Y/N?” Henry asked,

“Yeah, that’s her. I mean, i knew she could dance because I’ve seen her concerts when she performs at the forum, but I never knew she could dance like this.” Eiza said.

“I think your friend is making Hnery want to learn Spanish, he hasn’t taken his eyes off her since she started dancing.” Chris said and Henry hit his chest, still not looking away from the woman dancing.

“Perfect! I’ll get her when the song is over so you can meet her.” Eiza said, clearly excited that henry is interested in her friend. When the song finished, Eiza made her way to Y/N. “Y/N! Como has estado? Que me cuentas de la gira?”

“La gira fue espectacular, todos los fans cantando mis canciones, llevándome flores, estoy súper agradecida. How was the premiere? I wish I could have gone but I wasn’t invited.” Y/N said,

“Sorry! I forgot when your tour ended. Anyway, I have someone I want you to meet.” Eiza walked Y/N over to when’re Henry and Chris were. “Y/N, this is Henry Cavill. Henry, this is Y/N L/N. Chris, come dance with me.” Eiza said, pulling Chris with her, leaving Henry and Y/N alone by the bar.

“Hi.” Henry said bashfully.

“Hey.” Y/N said, fiddling with her fingers.

“I saw you dance, you were amazing, by the way, you seemed really into it.” Henry commented.

“Well i grew up listening to Shakira so you could say my hips don’t lie.” Y/N said and both of them ended up laughing. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I made that joke, que tonta soy, eh.”l

“No no, it’s okay, I laughed, right?” Henry said, making Y/N feel more comfortable.

“But seriously, my mom would put me in these dance classes, well, her friend who taught dance classes would give me free lessons.” Y/N said. “Do you dance?”

“No but I took lessons when I was filming Argyle.” Henry said.

“I haven’t seen Argyle but I really want to see this movie. Like yeah, my bestie is in it, but I really like your look in this movie.” Y/N said.

“Really? You like the messy hair and the full beard?” Henry asked.

“Yeah, your curls show off more than in your other movie, Night Hunter.” Y/N commented.

“So you’re a fan of my movies?” Henry asked.

“Am I a fan of the movies or just the attractive British actor starring in them?” Y/N asked, getting closer to Henry.

“I say you’re a fan of me.” Henry said.

“Bingo! Hope Im not being too forward.” Y/N said

“Not at all.” Henry said. They started playing Propuesta Indecente by Romeo Santos.

“Well, time to put your dancing skills to use, do you think you can dance bachata?” Y/N asked, taking Henry’s hand and led him on the dance floor.

“Only if you show me how.” Henry said.

“Of course, just follow my lead.” Y/N said.

They danced every bachata song that was played, and when they weren’t dancing, they were just talking.

Eiza sips her drink, observing them.

“They would be a cute couple.” Eiza commented to Chris.

“Yeah, he seems happy enough.” Chris said.

“Could I get your number?” Henry asked.

“Of course, give me your phone.” Y/N said. Henry handed her his phone and Y/N gave it back. “I’m gonna head out but I’ll be waiting for your call. Hasta luego, guapo.” Y/N kissed Henry’s cheek and left the party with Eiza. Chris then approached Henry who was holding his cheek where she kissed him.

“What are you thinking about?” Chris asked.

“How much a Spanish tutor costs.” Henry commented.

“Alright, buddy, let’s get back to the hotel.” Chris said, leading Henry to the exit.

The End

Taglist: @warriormirkwood @shellyshellshell

[bridgertonandchocolate]

I’ve stayed quiet with most things Lukola mainly because I’ve just been so busy and haven’t had much time for Tumblr blogging.

Here’s my overall thoughts and in not any particular order because they’re all jumbled anyway.

1. I don’t think N and L have ever been “together”. I’ve seen a few people say they think they dated at some point during filming but I don’t think they would have. Should they? Yeah. Will they? I’m so so hopeful. But if there are feelings (which I do believe there were during filming and are currently) I think they would choose to not be together because of working together and their friendship because that shit gets messy if it goes sour.

2. All of the little nuggets N left is throughout this weekend were INSANE and absolutely UNHINGED. I’ve heard some things that there was maybe a bridgerton table read but I have no evidence that happened. I have a hard time believing they’re not about L because who else would it really be about. I know N is really private but I feel like we’d have some other clues if it was someone else.

3. I do believe L and A are over. If they even began. That whole thing. I don’t want to speculate over any of it really so I’ll just go off my impression from the images I’ve seen. All pictures I’ve seen A has looked really wanting to cling and making it seem forceful whereas L has always looked miserable. The pap pictures. The GQ pictures. The vacation pictures. All of it she’s there smiling and he looks like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world. L has also never posted about her or made any claim that they were an official couple. So I’m assuming there wasn’t ever any labels put on it by the two of them but what do I know. It seemed like Italy sent something off the rails and I think things ended.

4. The only thing that has me hesitant about all of N’s recent posts being about L is that it’s so soon after Italy went down. I’m not a relationship guru but if I were N I’d be putting on the brakes and not diving headfirst but if I also finally realized I loved this guy I don’t know maybe I’d be that unhinged too. The timeframe is the only thing that’s keeping me from being like yeah it’s absolutely 100% about L.

5. I’m really interested to see what happens the more we get closer to season 4. I think N will feed us some selfies from set but just like for season 3 there will be a drought. And with all of the negativity thrown at L I don’t think they’d put themselves into a media frenzy if they go public.

6. I’ve seen a lot of people hating on Lukola fans because they think we’re delusional and I say who cares lol. You cannot watch all of the promo they did for season 3 and honestly think that’s just a platonic friendship. If anyone has ever had feelings for a really good friend you’ll know how it comes across. I’ve never seen promo like that EVER. For me it’s fun to think of them ending up together because I’m a romantic at heart. You can tell they love each other whether it’s just friendly or not. I do try to not speculate but I can’t help but do it and I usually don’t ship actors. I love them individually and I would love them as a couple but I also love if it’s just friendship too.

Feel free to send asks. I love talking Lukola lol

[not-neverland06]

HEAR ME OUT!!!!

Barb is literally fit af (If she wasn’t a walking red flag)! I have this little thought that Coop and Barb would totally share someone (in my delusional universe), who’s wayyyy more innocent and inexperienced, and that is literally all I can think about! It’s obviously up to you with what you do with this, but I literally needed to get this out of my system. Love you lots babes and wishing you well 🫶🏻

A/N: First of all, how dare you? I don’t even like Barb. But I read this ask, scoffed, and went about my day. Sadly, it has needled its way into my brain and it’s all I’ve been able to think about. I can’t even write the next chapter of my current story. So, anon, I hope you’re proud of yourself. Here you go:

(Love you too, I guess)

SFW:

I imagine a situation like this stems from Cooper’s attraction to you. 

Barb hasn’t really ever considered bringing a third party into their marriage, because for the most part they’re happy. 

If this is before Vault-tec, you’re a little happy go lucky PA working on one of Cooper’s sets. 

He likes how inexperienced you are in the industry and in life in general. His wife is one competent, confident woman, and he loves that about her. But Fallout is set in an era similar to the fifties, he wants to feel needed, to feel like a real man. 

You provide that for him. You are someone he can guide and mold. You’re enamored by him, practically worship him because he is the Cooper Howard. 

Barb sees this, sees the way her husband watches you like you’re something precious and vice versa the way you follow his every word like gospel. She rolls her eyes at it at first. This is the way of men, distracted whenever a pretty young thing like you comes around. But then he starts inviting you over to the house and she gets to know you. 

You really are sweet. You think the both of them are so amazing. You gush about how incredible both of their successful careers are and she loves the little ego boost. 

To avoid any friction in their marriage she softens up around you and lets you over to the house more often. But eventually it changes from just reluctantly letting Cooper invite you over to spending one on one time with you. 

You stop becoming a chore for her and become just as much of a treat as you are for her husband. 

I don’t think they ever have a real conversation about your role in their relationship. 

They’ve been married for so long that they don’t need words to understand each other. You’re simply a part of their life now, something that belongs to them both. 

For Cooper you provide the much needed feeling of having someone to take care of and guide. 

For Barb you’re someone she can relax around. She doesn’t need to prove herself or her worth to you, you just innately understand her. 

(very slight) NSFW:

If this is during the tumultuous Vault-Tec period of their relationship, I think this dynamic would be more sexual in nature. 

Barb needs Cooper under control. She can’t risk losing her husband during the nuclear fallout but her leash has been slipping and he’s getting suspicious. 

Then comes you, one of the interns that likes to follow her around and eagerly fetch her coffee. You’re attractive, eager to please, and wholly unused to the way the world around you works. 

You’re not truly aware of how evil the company you work for is. You’d taken the job to prove yourself. You’re not some naive idiot that just follows others blindly. 

But you are. 

She invites you over to dinner, not sure what she’s going to do with you. But you’re hot and would readily spread your legs for two icons like the Howard’s, she’s sure its going to come in handy. 

Her and Cooper have discussed this before, when sex seemed to get a little too boring after being married for so long. But nothing ever came of it. Now, you’re a little surprise for him (and an incentive to keep his mouth shut and just listen to what she says)

Under normal circumstances their sex is pretty vanilla as they haven’t really been clicking like they used to. Cooper’s normally in control. 

And that remains true for you, the both of them guide you and use your lack of experience against you to get you to obey. 

But Barb runs shit when it comes to Cooper. This is a part of the deal. He gets to have the threesome of his dreams, all he has to do is listen to her. 

She knows best after all. 

Hope this doesn’t suck <3

end. — I do not own the characters or the video game/show Fallout, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[booksandabeer]

Ramblings on Fandom: Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers, Delusional Shippers, and Alleged Misogyny

So with the release of Season 2 of What If…? emotions are once again running high, the outrage is outraging, and people are up in arms about the whole Captain Carter situation. While I do think that some reactions are a little overblown, even needlessly aggressive in tone to the unfortunate detriment of their otherwise convincing arguments, I share the confusion and frustration about the sudden centering of a long-dead & never excessively popular character, the sidelining of the Steve-Bucky friendship, and the as-inexplicable-as-it-is-total exclusion of Sam Wilson as Captain America. However, I’m not here to talk about the show because (1) I haven’t watched this season and have no plans to (why waste time torturing myself with something I know I’ll hate?) and (2) other people have already written dozens of metas about it, so what could I possibly add at this point.

What I do want need to talk about (lest I explode) is something that has irritated me for a long time and that is now happening again: Every time someone even mildly criticizes Peggy Carter, expresses doubts about her suitability as a heroine, or even just questions her disproportionate importance to the franchise post-EG, inevitably a certain section of fans will come out of the woodwork to immediately throw around accusations of misogyny and yell about how we’re all just a bunch of delusional Stuckies who are mad that she got "in the way" of our ship. Sigh.

This is gonna be a long one, so I’ll put it under a cut. Rant incoming. You've been warned. If you don't want to read, simply keep scrolling.

First of all, let me state very clearly that I’m not debating the existence of misogyny and sexism in fandom spaces—or in the media from which these fandoms originate. At all. It exists, it’s a thing, I’m not denying that. Which is exactly why it frustrates me endlessly to see these accusations thrown around as a gotcha! argument to shut down any and all critical debate around a female character. All it does in the end is escalate rhetoric and radicalize attitudes.  

In the case of Peggy Carter, specifically her treatment by Stucky shippers, I’ve always found 'misogyny as a motive' to be a largely unsubstantiated accusation.¹ Now, I neither presume nor do I want to speak for the entirety of Stuckynation, so I will not claim that there aren't corners of the fandom where people discuss her in ways that I find off-putting and deeply unserious, but I will say this: If you genuinely believe that disliking one (1) fictional female character equals “hating all women” and wanting to suppress and marginalize their presence in fiction and real life alike—then I think we need to take that word away from you until you’ve learned its true meaning.

You might also want to ask yourself how exactly reducing a female character to a mute trophy wife or a heroine who has to act out her love interest’s recycled storylines helps your feminist fight.

As for the “getting in the way of your ship” part of the argument. Very simply put: No character can get in the way of something if there never ever was “a way” to that something to begin with. “Being mad” implies that there was a reasonable expectation that wasn’t met, a substantive hope that was crushed. Now, I’ve said this before and I’ll gladly say it again a million more times: No Stucky shipper in their right mind ever truly thought that there was even the slightest chance that Marvel Studios owned by the Walt Disney Company would allow Steve “Captain America” Rogers and Bucky “Winter Soldier” Barnes to be canonized as an explicitly romantic pairing in their billion dollar franchise. Be serious. That was never in the cards. I wish we all lived in a world where it was, but we don’t, and it wasn’t. The best we could ever hope for was for Steve and Bucky to get a good, satisfying, in-character ending. And if, in Steve’s case, that would’ve included hints (or more) about a possible rekindling of his, uh, aborted romance with Sharon—then so be it. But we never got any of that. The characters never got any of that. Instead they sent Steve into 1950s suburban hell, literally trapped him behind a white picket fence, and condemned him to a life of passivity and lies, all so he could be married to a woman he barely knew a long time ago in a completely different world; who built and ran a top-to-bottom Hydra-infested organization, but apparently never noticed that there was anything wrong with her life's work. For decades. Great. As for Bucky—well, we’ve all seen the devastatingly grim-faced, utterly lonely, and deeply sad version of him that was presented to us in TFATWS. Happy endings all around, I guess.

So. Am I mad that Steve didn’t get to ride into the rainbow-colored sunset with Bucky at the end of EG? No. Because that was never going to happen anyway. Would I have been mad had he ended up with Sharon or another female character in the 21st century? Also no. Granted, I wouldn’t have been ecstatic about it, but mad? No. But am I mad that Steve ended up with this specific female character under these specific circumstances as presented in canon? Fuck yeah, I am.

The thing is: I personally believe Steve and Peggy to be fundamentally incompatible when it comes to the way they view the world and their respective places in it; their morals and values; their capacity for compassion and empathy; their ability and willingness to compartmentalize, compromise, and collaborate with people and institutions whose ethics and/or politics do not align with their own. I have a real hard time believing that a relationship between these two (or worse, a hasty marriage) could be either happy or long-lasting.

I don’t believe Peggy to be inherently evil, I don’t hate her, I simply think she operates within a different moral framework than Steve (and even genuinely believes it to be a righteous one).² Your mileage may vary, but I personally happen to find that framework reprehensible, even indecent, and ultimately dangerous. After all, over the course of the 20th century, we have seen exactly where that kind of “the ends justify the means” brand of pragmatism leads—over and over again. Not to mention that the people who use this line of argument to defend characters like Peggy (or real-life politicians for that matter) never seem to want to look too closely at who gets to define what "the ends" are in the first place and who decides when they've finally been met.

(Never. The answer is never.)

And to be clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with depicting, and even centering a narrative around a morally (dark)gray character—oftentimes it’s actually the more interesting option—but you cannot at the same time claim that they are purely good and should be only admired as such when their actions literally tell an entirely different story.

So, no. I will not accept Peggy Carter as the shining aspirational heroine that the MCU so badly wants to sell her to me as—while simultaneously continuing to reveal things that paint an increasingly darker picture of her character. And I will certainly not celebrate seeing one of my favorite characters of all time—whose defining trait was that he couldn't ignore "a situation pointed south"; who used to fight for the little guy and against the establishment; who once said about the very organization that Peggy Carter helped build that it was so corrupt, it all needed to go—rendered morally inert for some hollow happy ending that may as well be a conservative’s wet dream full of false nostalgia for an America that never really existed. I cannot find it in me to be anything less but mad about that.

But that does not make me a misogynist. It does not make me a delusional shipper. It makes me someone who looks at what the MCU has been telling me about Peggy Carter for years now—over and over again—and takes it at its own word.

--------

¹ If you’ve actually read a a fair number of Stucky(!) fanfics you will have noticed that the reverence afforded to and "page time" devoted to her character and her relationship with Steve is somewhat disproportionate to anything that's backed up by canon—well, up until EG, where she was suddenly reanimated as The Great Love of Steve’s Life—and in my experience, it's highly unusual for any fandom to put so much (mostly) positive attention on another character, let alone a potential love interest that is not part of the endgame ship.

² I also want to emphasize that if you love Peggy and she's your fave: good for you! I genuinely have no beef with you. People can agree to disagree. All I ask for is that we maybe stop willfully ignoring the less savory aspects of her character. You don't need to pretend she's perfect to justify your affection for her. I LOVE Steve, and yet I have no problem conceding that he is FAR from perfect.

[fiapartridge]

Can I get Quinn Hughes prompt ⭐️ to the song Grave by Tate McRae?

quinn hughes x reader

summary: you could never be what quinn wanted, so you decided to be nothing at all.

fia’s notes 💌: suuuper angsty but i love this song and i love tate mcrae!! quinn’s an asshole in this tho so.. sorry!

You were tired. You were tired of waiting for Quinn to come back home, hoping that he would be there before you fell asleep. You were tired of arguing and straining your voice only to get distant nods and unfilled promises. You were just tired—of everything. Because as much as you try, and try, and try, you could never make him want you the way you wanted to be wanted.

So you downed shots and wore a skimpy red dress and let your friends drag you halfway across town without a single care in the world. Because if he could do that, then you could too.

Four shots in, your phone buzzed in your purse as you rolled your eyes at the notification. There were 30 texts and 9 missed phone calls from Quinn. You wanted to shout at him and kiss him and walk out of his life all at once. You wanted to tell him that you were done being a second choice; that boyfriends were made to love you and protect you and be there for you, but he wasn’t that in the slightest. 

And the one time you decide to choose something for yourself, the one time you decide to go out instead of holing yourself in his apartment, missing another hangout with your friends, or skipping on your sister’s invites to have dinner because you had this hope—this false hope—that he would be there if you just waited, but you were done with waiting. You were done with Quinn Hughes.

Which made you almost want to laugh when you saw him barrelling through the entrance of the bar, fury lacing his veins and an angry expression that made you chuckle to yourself. He was so ridiculous. What right did he have to stomp in here and ruin your night? He has been nothing but a ghost to you these past couple of months, and for the last week, you swallowed your pride and you took it because you were just so tired. 

But you were awake now and you weren’t going to make that mistake again.

Quinn’s hand gripped yours, dragging you towards the exit. “I called you all fucking night. I was worried sick about you,” he chided, though his anger faltered for a moment when he realized you weren’t walking with him. 

Your feet were planted in place as you ripped your hand away from him. “You were worried sick about me?” you scoffed. He always had this way of talking that made you think he meant it. But you were delusional little you anymore. “Do you know how fucking draining it is to be with you?”

He tongue swiped his bottom lip as he held out his hand for you. “Don’t start this shit here, Y/N. We’re going.”

To Quinn’s surprise, you laughed. You laughed right in his face because— you were always just a thing to him. You held no value other than being someone that’s there for him no matter what he did. You weren't in a relationship, and he wasn’t your boyfriend, and you weren’t his love. No, you were something to rely on even when he didn’t deserve it. You were an object that did what it was told. 

That was all you ever were to him.

“Admit it, Quinn, you only want me when you know you can’t have me. You didn’t care where I was, or how I was doing, or any of that. Admit it, Quinn!” you argued, shoving him lightly. 

“Don’t say that,” he shook his head, taking a hold of your wrist as you stepped back, tears lining your eyes. “Come on, Y/N. You’re causing a scene, we’re going home.”

You swung your arms out wide. “No! No, I’m tired of being your little puppet, because it’s the truth isn’t it?” you shook your head, your voice drawing down to a whisper as you slowly walked closer to him. “You are so pathetic, you know that? I waited every single night for you, and you never came. You gave me nothing. And I’ve been trying and trying to figure out what I did wrong, but it wasn’t me, was it, Quinn?”

He didn’t respond, too busy trying to keep his head held high with all of the wandering gazes as you pelted bullet after bullet at him. Quinn, above all, had a reputation to uphold, and this was eating him alive.

You chuckled as you watched him eye the spectators in the bar. Even when you were screaming at him and ripping your lungs out, trying to get every single emotion and every single feeling you’ve been dealing with for the past three months out, he still couldn’t pay attention to you.

“You are the problem, Quinn. In every single aspect of your life, it is you. And I hope I never have to see you again.”

[champi8n]

die for you | ethan landry

ethan landry x fem reader

warnings: slightly suggestive

sypnosis: ethan isn’t sure wether his feelings for you are unrequited until he finally opens his eyes

ethan had been watching you for a while and he believes developing feelings for you has been one of the worst things to ever happen to him

you and ethan met at a frat party through chad, he thought it would be a good idea to introduce you two to each other since according to chad you both fit perfectly in his definition of “geeks”

geeks are often associated to be losers like him but ethan knew from the moment he laid his eyes on you that you were no geek, he knew from the way you spoke to him so confidently and how you’re body language radiated control

he knew from how he had seen you dancing earlier and from how he wasn’t able to take his eyes off you, well it wasn’t just him but what in his eyes is everybody

you were charming and you had him wrapped around your finger from that first conversation, ethan remembers the sound of your laughter as he told you a dumb star wars joke and how your eyes seemed to sparkle from the low lights in the room

you stayed with him in a corner of the party all night and ethan is sure you only did that because you felt bad as you realised he was left alone, yet he wasn’t complaining because from that day on you guys became good friends

you and ethan had a free period at the same time so when you saw him waiting by a cafe near campus you approached him straight away without a single drop of shyness

was he shocked? yes, he wasn’t used to being approached in such a warm manner by people he’s only talked to once, he was more used to people pretending he doesn’t exist after they’ve had conversations with him yet he wasn’t complaining about that change in his routine

you guys talked about anything and soon you became someone very special in his heart, he knew he felt attraction towards you from when he first met you but he didn’t expect attraction to turn into real feelings

“what if you just tell her you have a friend that looks just likes you that thinks she’s fine?” chad spoke

ethan had been laying on the floor of their room staring at the roof for around an hour while having a small therapy session with chad

he wasn’t really sure how chad could help him get over his feelings for you but he definitely knew more than himself, he was inexperienced, clumsy, and he’s gotten rejected by all of his crushes with them saying “ew” at him

“she’s obviously gonna know i’m talking about myself, chad” ethan sighed, turning his head to the left to make eye contact with chad “you know she once told me about how she hates being hit on, what if she starts hating me?”

“that’s not gonna happen because she obviously has the feels for you” ethan frowned, almost sure that chad was probably delusional

“i don’t know what world you’re living in, but i’m quite sure she will never look at me that way, it’s like she doesn’t take me seriously”

“are you kidding? ethan i’ve seen the way y/n looks at you and believe me i’ve heard her talk about you too” as soon as those words came out of chad’s mouth, ethan immediately sat up intrigued

“what has she said?” chad notices the light in ethan’s eyes and proceeds to let out a chuckle at seeing how childishly in love he looks

“well whenever she sees me she asks about you, or when we are talking she brings you up at random moments” a tiny smile begins to form in ethan’s face, he’s using all of his force to try and block that smile away but the joy of knowing you talk about him too is overwhelming for him “oh wait, i just remembered something... we once played smash or pass and she said she would smash you” chad said "she didn't even hesitate, I remember"

ethan’s jaw dropped a little bit at the unexpected comment causing chad to burst out laughing even more

“shut up, it’s not funny!” ethan threw a pillow at him, flustered and embarrassed at how chad seemed entertained with his excitement

“god you’re such a virgin” chad said between chuckles, causing ethan to stand up ready to defend himself

but as he was walking towards chad, the two of them heard something. three knocks at the door left him and chad frozen while they both stared at the source of the noise

it was midnight and he wasn’t used to the door being knocked at such late hours, specially on a tuesday

him and chad share a confused look and as ethan is slowly walking towards the door to peek through the peep hole, two more knocks were heard but this time accompanied with a voice

“ethan? it’s me”

he heard you whisper and as soon as you did he felt panic run through his body as he realised he was only wearing a black tank top paired with R2 D2 pijama trousers

he was going to try and change his outfit quick but his fear came true as soon as chad opened the door, revealing you with a zip up sweater and low waisted jeans

“hey y/n, what’s up?” chad smiled at you, gesture which you did back “i was just going out to buy some … crack” chad said, leaving you a little bit confused but you weren’t gonna question it

“okay, have fun…i guess?” you watched as chad walked off, mumbling a yep, making you lay your eyes back on ethan

you had never seen ethan wearing anything like what he was wearing and you were completely not expecting it

you let your eyes wander for a minute, looking at him shamelessly, you could feel your heart racing as you realise how muscly he actually was and how strong he seems, yet it was all contrasted with his pijama bottoms and you couldn’t help but think he’s adorable

ethan did not let that go pass him, he saw the way you had checked him out and a light pink covered his cheeks, embarrassed and at the same time curious on wether you liked what you see

“are you okay, shouldn’t you be finishing your log?” ethan asked, you had mentioned earlier this week you had a final piece of coursework for your major

you were a fashion major so your work for school was almost always practical

“i know but i just…” you paused, mouth dry at the sight of him and fingers fidgeting because of your nerves “i needed to see you”

ethan raises his eyebrows, surprised at the remark and honestly speechless

“move, let me come in” you pushed past him, making yourself comfortable in his bed trying to leave what you said behind, ethan followed you with his eyes, closing the door behind him and sitting backwards on chad’s chair

“I need you to be my model for my piece and I must take your measurements” you dropped one of the reasons for your visit, ready to hear ethan's complaining

“no!" he said, not even thinking it through "there is no way in hell I'm modeling"

“why not? you're perfect model material" you sat up in his bed, looking at him with pleading eyes

"are you crazy? chad is more model material than me, models are meant to be pretty-"

"and you're pretty, you're a pretty boy!" you cut him off, not even thinking twice before letting your thoughts out

ethan raised his eyebrows at your comment, letting his mouth fall open but he couldn't seem to form anything coherent to say

noticing how you left him speechless you decide to keep talking "please just be my model, i really want to make you something"

the boy sighed, he felt powerless under your gaze and at the same time at complete peace

"fine" he rolled his eyes and you immediately jumped out of his bed to give him a warm hug that was well received by ethan since you could feel him caressing your back

"thank you, thank you, thank you! i promise you won't regret it, it's going to be so much fun" you pulled back, smiling at him and pulling from your back pocket a roll of measuring tape

"wow you knew I wasn't going to say no, didn't you?” ethan asked seeing how moved to chad's desk, grabbing a piece of paper and a pencil and putting them on the floor next to him

"okay, here's what i need you to do, you're gonna stand still and look pretty, okay" you grabbed his shoulders as you spoke and then proceeded to kneel down in front of him

you caught him off guard a hundred percent, i mean, you were on your knees in front of him and his brain forgot what you actually intended to do until he saw your hand reach for the measuring tape

he gulped as he looked down on you and he tried to focus on literally anything else that would push his dirty thoughts away yet his attempts were useless as he felt your hands around his waist raising his tank top up a little and wrapping the tape around his skin

you moved to his side and then wrote down on the piece of paper a number he couldn't really see from where he was

after that you measured his leg length and then stood up to do his shoulders and torso, you seemed so concentrated he couldn't help but admire the way you bit your lip and the way your eyes mildly squinted to read the numbers in the tape

there was silence but it wasn't awkward, it was comfortable and he swore he could stay like this forever, watching you do your work and appreciating every small detail about you

"one sec" you said, interrupting his thoughts, you took off your zip up sweater leaving it in the hanger the boys had in their room, revealing the white tube top you had hidden underneath, leaving ethan stunned

you weren't naive and you noticed how ethan's adam's apple bounced as his eyes looked away from you, happy on the inside that you seemed to have an effect on him

"you seem nervous" you walked towards him, a small smile painted in your face from how he couldn't look you in the eye "you're going to be amazing as my model, you shouldn't be" he looked at you, giving you a tense smile

ethan felt a little relieved since he thought you had caught on to him yet his eyes followed your movements as you put your arms on his shoulders, massaging them slowly and ready to make your move

"you’re acting as if you have a little crush…" you teased him, seeing how his eyes widened “on me”

“what?!” he screamed followed by incoherent words and stuttering “I don't know what you're talking about, I don't... like you” he stated, hoping he sounded believable

disappointment ran through your body, feeling how your chest started to feel heavy as embarrassment got a hold of you

he noticed how your expression changed and how you almost seemed sad, yet he couldn't understand why

until it hit him, what if he was wrong all along? what if chad was right and you actually felt the same as him? what if he just ruined his chances with you and he just hurt your feelings on accident?

he stood there frozen in his place as you put strands of your hair behind your ear, quickly moving to pick up the measuring tape from the floor and the piece of paper, folding it as fast as you can and putting it in your back pocket

you were confident and strong but if you were being honest it was mostly a big facade and deep inside you can't help but be extremely sensitive, no matter how much you try to hide it

you felt like an idiot as you quickly rolled the measuring tape, thinking about how stupid of you it was to have such the audacity to be as delusional to listen to your friends and believe ethan could actually feel something for you too

you were dying of nerves as you walked to his dorm that evening yet as you stood outside you were built with courage to try and make a real move on ethan today, not just telling him his hair looked nice or that you liked his shirt like you always did

now you were just filled with regret as you couldn't even look him in the eyes “i'm going to go now, I'll text you if um, when the piece is done”

you quickly walked towards his door, wanting to escape the silence that was slowly becoming unbearable for you as fast as you could, not even bothering to get your zip up

as you opened the door ready to walk away you heard him move behind you and soon you felt a hand wrap around your arm, pulling you back harshly

“don’t please” he said before quickly engulfing you in a soft kiss

your hands found their place in his hair as his went to your waist, you caressed his hair as you felt him feel your back

the kiss was soft and gentle, yet the innocence of the kiss quickly escalated into a hungry kiss, he bit softly at your lip to your surprise but you were not going to complain

it was almost desperate but at the same time deeply sentimental almost as if he was transmitting all of his feelings and desires to you, he had longed for you for a while now and he needed you to know

soon you were pressed against his wall as you wished for the moment to never end but of course, all that's good has to end

as you both were running out of breath he pulled away from you in a delicate manner, leaving you feeling as if you were going to melt away from how overwhelmed you felt by your own feelings

he chuckled lightly, resting his forehead on your shoulder and you did the same, laughing in disbelief at what just happened

“are you sure you're a virgin?” you asked, making him laugh even more, you could see his chest going up and down from him trying to catch his breath again

he looked up at you again, big wide smile on his face, his cheeks had a red flush and his eyes glittered, making you have a funny feeling in your stomach at how perfect he looked

“just in case you didn't catch the hint... i like you a lot” he said, making you smile in relief

“no way, really?” you said jokingly, making him roll his eyes “if you really do then I think you should go on a date with me tomorrow” his eyebrows raised in surprise, did you just ask him out on a date?

“you're going to kill me someday” he said, walking backwards and brushing a hand through his hair, you bite your lip, nervous but trying to not let the nerves get the best of you

“is that a yes?” you ask and you look as he laughs

“of course it's a yes dumbass, can you not see how flustered you've made me?” you chuckle, looking at him with glowy eyes, completely immersed in the boy in front of you “why are you looking at me like that?”he asked

“like what?”you replied, completely oblivious to what he meant, making him sigh

“with those eyes, you’re making me nervous!” he replied making you laugh

“well then i’m gonna leave now so you can relax” you said as you walked over to the hanger, getting your zip up to then head towards the already open door

ethan rested his arm on the door frame, leaning towards it as you stood outside “will you call?” he asked, making you want to kiss him again

“no, i’ll send a bird to your window holding a message, it’s more romantic” you leaned in to kiss him cheek and with that you start walking away

“text me when you get to your room” he screamed down the hallway, watching you as you turned back while you walked

“i will!” you reply with a smile, swinging your hips as you walked away overwhelmed with happiness

ethan closed his door and went straight fall on his bed, he couldn’t get that dumb smile off his face and he laughed at himself because of how wrong he was, he doesn’t know what you saw in him but who’s he to complain? he finally has the girl of his dreams smiling because of him

he’s grateful to whatever it was because now that he has you, he doesnt plan on letting you go

[valyrfia]

I am VERY skeptical about the RBR Charles thing but they (see: Charles, RBR personell of all kinds) keep being SO WEIRD AND SUSPICIOUS about it

Yep yep yep. I go through cycles of being completely convinced and then calling myself delusional, but the fact remains that Max changed his tune on being teammates with Charles recently, Charles keeps talking about Max in interviews praising BOTH his performance and the car, Christian Horner is posting Max and Charles on Instagram as is the RBR account. I genuinely believe Red Bull are at LEAST trying to seriously poach him.

I'm still unsure as to whether they're working towards 2024 or 2025 (as Red Bull have proven with the recent talks with Lando, they're more than happy to buy out someone's contract), but I am leaning more towards 2025, and I believe that Charles at RBR is a real, serious possibility in 2025. Let me explain why.

First, Checo still has a contract through 2024 and while Red Bull aren't always great with honouring contracts, I think the recent popularity and love they've witnessed first-hand for Checo in Texas and Mexico might change their mind on letting him go early. Ultimately, Red Bull Racing is marketing for Red Bull, and Checo obviously brings in sales in North America, and them mistreating Checo might lead to a sales dip in that region. This is why I think, despite the media frenzy, RBR are highly unlikely to drop Checo for 2024. There is no way that RBR is renewing Checo's contract, but at least he can see it out and they can part ways without much damage to either of them at the end of the F1 2024 Season.

Charles's current contract with Ferrari is also up at the end of the 2024 season. Again, even though 2023 has been absolute dogshit for Charles and Ferrari, I don't see that contract ending early. For one, Charles has apparently been promised that the 2024 car will be developed according to his needs and preferences, and it is ridiculous to leave a team who has made you that promise, even if that team is as flakey as Ferrari. I think Charles is waiting to see if the team does change in 2024 before he pushes for contract renewal. It's important to note here that contrary to popular opinion, I believe the ball is completely in Charles's court here when it comes to renewal. He is the Ferrari golden prince, he is Ferrari in a way that no driver really ever has been before, I think it was evident in Monza this year most of all. Carlos drives for Ferrari, and Charles is Ferrari and you could see it in the way that the tifosi treated them. They love Carlos, they adore and worship Charles. This is how Charles managed to convince them to build a car for him in 2024, and it's how I believe Charles is putting off the contract negotiations. This is a key point. Carlos's extended media team and family have complained several times about Carlos not being able to begin contract negotiations because of Charles in some way and Ferrari unwilling to negotiate with Carlos until they've settled Charles (I think this is due to the fact that they only intend to keep one of them and they'd like it to be Charles, but that's an essay for another day). So Charles has himself in a position where he doesn't have to commit to the team unless he sees that it is going to grow in the way he wants it to.

To quote Charles, "I view it in a way that whenever I won’t believe in the project anymore, that probably will be the time when I’ll have to go away. Because it’s in these kinds of situations that you don’t get the best out of yourself, that you don’t help the team as much as it needs to be helped. But this is definitely not the case at the moment. I believe in the project as much as I’ve ever believed in the project before. Especially since Fred arrived. So for now it’s clear. Then it’s also clear that I want to win. But I believe in this project and I’m sure we are working in the right direction.”

So maybe 2024 happens and Ferrari brings a championship-contender car, in which case Charles signs with Ferrari, they get rid of Carlos and probably bring in Alex Albon as a n2.

But I'm not interested in that outcome, I'm interested in what is (in my mind anyway) the far more likely outcome, sheerly due to money and Ferrari internal politics (which again, whole other essay!) which is that nothing really changes for the better at Ferrari. Maybe Charles gets a win by sheer luck and a slightly better car, but overall the strategy continues to not favour him, and Charles in general loses faith in what he refers to as the project. And we know from Charles himself that when this happens, this is when he goes away.

So I've presented an argument for why Red Bull are going to let Checo see out his contract, I've presented a strong possibility for why Charles might be looking to leave Ferrari at the end of 2024. Now I'm going to try and convince you of why out of all the options it'll be Charles joining Red Bull.

First of all, from Charles's point of view regarding teams. I'm going to rule out Alpha Tauri, Haas, Williams, Alfa Romeo, and Alpine, either because they're junior teams or I don't see them willing to fork over huge amounts of money to get Charles onboard. This leaves Mercedes, McLaren, Aston Martin, and Red Bull.

Out of all the non RBR options, I'd say that Mercedes is the most likely, but both their drivers are signed until 2025. There is always a possibility that Lewis Hamilton decides its time to leave the sport and buys himself out of his own contract, but I think that's not likely to happen next year.

Similar to Mercedes, both McLaren drivers are signed until at least 2025 and both look likely to honour that contract. Red Bull have tried to poach Lando multiple times, and Lando doesn't seem too keen on it yet, so we can assume that he intends to at least see his current contract out. Aston Martin is slightly trickier because I see them as being willing to fork over the millions needed to get Charles Leclerc to drive for them, but on the other hand they don't look close to producing a championship car, and Charles Leclerc is not switching away from Ferrari to not win a championship.

So, this leaves RBR as Charles's best destination for 2025 were he to leave Ferrari. Not only do they have a seat opening up, but they also have shown themselves capable of constructing recent championship-winning cars, and outclass every other team almost every weekend on strategy at the moment. Now that we've established that Charles's team of choice would be RBR, the final point of the argument has to be establishing why Charles would be RBR's driver of choice over let's say, Lando or Daniel.

To me the answer is simple, as so eloquently illustrated by my great friend and scholar Nat (@tsarinablogs) in her The PR of Lestappen in 2023 Essay (also known as Lestappen Gate 2023), Charles is not just good at PR, he's brilliant, and Red Bull isn't a racing company, it's a marketing venture. Having Charles on board would be their greatest asset and Charles has done much to make himself desirable, from being personable in almost all fan interactions to building a solid digital following, to being sometimes sneaky and subliminal with his sponsorship messaging (him always putting on APM Monaco immediately after a race, even before the podium and interviews, hell even Charles and Privateplanegate yesterday), to signing with a literal US entertainment agency. I cannot stress enough how the timing of the WME signing is not accidental, this is Charles making himself be seen as a highly desirable PR asset. Charles has the second highest following on social media out of any current driver, second to only 7 TIME WDC WINNER LEWIS HAMILTON. That sort of audience, and the kind of exposure it can bring to your team and your brand is insane.

Also, as an addendum to Nat's essay using something she herself brought up to me yesterday: any PR for RBR is good PR because it means that Red Bull as a concept is sticking around in people's heads, which means they're more likely to notice and buy the drinks off the shelves. Extrapolating from this we can see that Red Bull signing Charles would ultimately be better marketing than Red Bull signing Lando just because of the absolute uproar it would cause. Whether you think that Red Bull saved Charles from Ferrari, or Charles betrayed Ferrari for Red Bull, or Charles saved himself from Ferrari, or Red Bull as the Big Evil Team poached the Prince of Ferrari, there's a compelling narrative in there and people will talk about it for years to come.

Finally, not to talk about the driving aspect of motorsports, but Charles is the best fit for Red Bull driving-wise as well. Him and Max have spoken in the past about how they both prefer very similar types of car (ie. strong oversteer, borderline undriveable to anyone else) which would make car development much easier for the team. Christian Horner has also been pretty candid about wanting two n1 drivers à la Lewis and Nico (although without the toxicity), and whether you believe that Charles matches Max in equal machinery or not, Charles's racing record is a lot stronger than Lando's or Dan's (the two other possible competitors for the RBR seat). Charles fits the bill, driver-profile-wise, of the complement to Max that Christian Horner is looking for.

So, long story short, I am watching Ferrari VERY closely these next few months. If the SF-24 doesn't make Charles happy, I am going to make a bold claim that we will see Charles Leclerc driving for Red Bull in 2025.

[avastrasposts]

Big Sky Country - ch. 6

Chapter 6 is here and since we left Frankie on his way back to the ranch in Montana, and Aisling still in New York, how are they going to work this out after the way they left it?

Summery: Cowboy Frankie returns to New York to work things out with his 'maybe girlfriend' Eva. But he also makes a connection with another woman, who makes this lost cowboy feel welcome in her Brooklyn bar.

Series Master List

Warnings for the whole series can be found here

“You’re the only one who makes my mind as quiet as the prairie.” 

His parting words remained with her but Aisling didn’t expect Frankie to bury himself so deep in her head. Heartbreaks, guys ghosting her, cheating on her, it had all happened before, apparently she had a knack for picking the losers. But it never took her long to get over them, a week or two of being a bit down, nothing a night out with friends couldn’t fix. 

With Frankie, it had been twelve fucking weeks. Three months of her mind drifting to him whenever there was a slow moment at work, getting annoyed when someone sat in ‘his’ spot at the bar, dreaming about him almost every night. 

Jenny noticed and tried pulling her out of it, taking her to their favorite BBQ place, sitting at long trestle tables, laughing at the ridiculous mason jars the drinks were served in. But then Jenny left for the rest room, and Aisling’s eyes drifted to the Texas flag hanging on the wall and then he was back in her head. 

“You could just call him, you know,” Jenny said, sitting down opposite Aisling and handing over another mason jar of lemonade spiked with bourbon, seeing where her friend’s mind was at. 

“Why would I do that? To get fresh material for the delusion living in my head?” Aisling snorted, shaking her head. 

“To get him out of your system, ask him to come back here, or better yet, go see him. You’ve never been out of the city. Go see Montana.” 

“Jenny, now you’re being the delusional one, how would seeing him again get him out of my system?” 

“I just think, the way you talk about him-” 

“I don’t talk about him,” Aisling interrupted, almost slamming her drink down on the table at the very notion. 

“I hate to break it to you, Ash, but you talk about him almost every day,” Jenny raised her eyebrows, daring Aisling to challenge her. “Only last night at the bar, you said Frankie would like that new beer we’re stocking.” 

“That was just an observation, I wasn’t talking about him.” 

“And when we had lunch on Thursday you told me the story about how he delivered a foal all by himself.” 

“There was a nature documentary about wild horses on the tv!” Aisling protested, “It was an interesting story!”

“You’d already told me that story twice,” Jenny said, “And I’ve known you for over twenty years, never, ever, have you talked about horses. I don’t think you’ve ever even been near a horse.” 

“I have,” Aisling objected, “Remember when Jules worked selling tickets for the horse carriages by Central Park? We used to hang out there and bug her the whole summer.” 

“Doesn’t count. And the point stands; you talk about him almost every day, he’s clearly still on your mind and you need to get him out of your system. Or move to Montana. Whichever one seems easiest to you.” 

“Maybe she just needs to get laid? I volunteer.” 

The voice of a man a few years younger came into the conversation as he sat down next to Jenny, grinning at Aisling. 

“Fuck off, Pete,” Aisling snapped, rolling her eyes at the blonde man. 

“Shut up,” Jenny said at the same time, digging her elbow into Pete’s ribs, making him wince, “This is serious, Aisling is going to be pining over this cowboy for the rest of her life if we can’t figure out how she’ll get over him.” 

“I’m not moving to Montana, and I can’t call him, I don’t have his number,” Aisling said and downed the last of her drink, scowling at Pete’s unwelcome addition to the table. 

“You can actually call him,” Jenny replied, fishing a folded piece of paper from her tote bag. “I got it from the trash after you threw it away. Just in case, you know.” 

She smoothed out the paper and pushed it over the table to Aisling, who looked down at it without touching. There, on the wrinkled page from the bar’s notepad, in Frankie’s neat handwriting, his name and number, Francisco Morales. 

Seeing his name, in his writing, suddenly made her throat close up and she blinked a few times. 

“Just call him,” Pete said, “I don’t really want to have sex with you, so calling him is clearly the only option.” 

Aisling rolled her eyes at Jenny who swatted his arm. 

“Fuck off, Pete.” 

Aisling looked down at the paper again and pushed herself to her feet. 

“I’m over him. And I’m not moving to Montana. I’ll just hang out with Ben and Jerry until this blows over, as usual.” 

Jenny sighed, took the paper and folded it up again, leaned over the table and stuffed it into the pocket of Aisling’s jacket. 

“Just in case, if there’s an emergency and you need someone to deliver a foal or something,” she said, giving Aisling another look that meant ‘Don’t you fucking dare throw that piece of paper away’. 

“Fine, whatever, see you tomorrow,” Aisling replied, giving them both a wave as she left the restaurant. 

The piece of paper burnt a hole in her pocket on the way home and she tucked it out of sight between the pages of a book as soon as she could.

Out of sight, out of mind

When the bus dumped him outside the gas station on the outskirts of Big Sky, Frankie drew a deep breath of relief. He never thought he’d feel so light just seeing the prairie in front of him as the bus pulled away. He stood several minutes just staring at the rolling plain and the sky above until the honk of a horn behind him pulled him out of his reverie. 

Herb waved at him from his truck, right on time as usual and Frankie hoisted his bag up on his shoulder and crossed the road. 

“Hey, man, admiring the view?” 

The older man greeted him with a grin as Frankie slid into the passenger side of the truck. 

“Hey, Herb, yeah, good to be back,” he replied, sinking back in the seat and rubbing a hand over his face, “Long fucking journey.”

“How was New York? You were gone a while, wasn’t sure you’d come back.” 

Herb knew most of his history with Eva, Frankie had told him things were over between them when he got back from New York last time. And he was smart enough to guess that Frankie’s sudden departure five weeks earlier had something to do with her too, even though Frankie hadn’t told him exactly why he was leaving. Frankie usually made a point of being as truthful as possible with Herb, but when Eva called, he’d chickened out

Now Frankie sighed as Herb put the truck in drive and pulled out from the gas station. 

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure either,” Frankie replied, “Eva called to tell me she was pregnant, that’s why I Ieft.” 

“Pregnant?” Frankie could see Herb’s eyebrows rise from the corner of his eye, “How did you feel about that?” 

Typical Herb question, always asking how it made him feel. Frankie almost chuckled at the older man but it just came out as a strangled snort and he rubbed a hand over his face again. 

“Scared, hopeful, nervous, petrified,” he shook his head, “fucking terrified. But it’s over, she had an abortion, I’m not gonna be a dad.” 

“That why you came back?” 

“It’s a long story, and it might need a beer or two for the details,” Frankie replied, “but yeah, things got messy, she had the abortion without telling me about it, I got involved with another woman, she found out I had a girlfriend, Eva found out I’d cheated, I stayed to make things right again, but in the end, it wasn’t going to work.” 

Frankie leaned his head against the back of the seat and closed his eyes briefly as Herb turned down the smaller road that led back to the ranch.

“That’s a lot for just five weeks, but tell me about it when you’re ready, Frank,” Herb said, glancing over at the furrow between Frankie’s eyes. 

“I don’t think there’s more to tell,” Frankie shrugged, “New York kicked my ass, and I’m more sure than ever that I can’t live in a big city.” 

“Any regrets?” Herb asked and Frankie knew what he meant, Herb was asking if he’d used any drugs while he was there.

Frankie shook his head, “No, not in that way, I was tempted but I stayed away from it, I know it would only make things worse.” 

“Not in that way?” Herb looked over at Frankie again, “What do you regret?” 

Frankie looked out through the passenger side window and sighed, the memory of Aisling filling his mind. She hadn’t been far from his thoughts much in the past two days, constantly at the forefront of his mind as he debated his decision while stuck on the endless bus ride. 

“That I fucked up, hurt someone else again,” he said, “I should’ve walked away but the need to make myself feel good first…I couldn’t resist.” 

“The other woman?” Herb asked and Frankie nodded, guilt creeping into his chest. 

“She’s…she’s great, fucking amazing…” Frankie shook his head, self-deprecation creeping into his voice, “she works in a bar, I ended up there on my first day back, and she just…fuck…It felt like she saw me but it sounds so pathetic when I say it.” 

“But that’s what it felt like?” Herb recognised the turbulent emotions on the face of the younger man, “like she saw you, and not just some stranger in a bar?” 

“Yeah, like she saw something else than everyone else sees, not the addict or the ex-soldier with a bunch of issues, or the miserable fuck who has to live away from everything to keep his shit together.” 

“Take a step back, Frankie,” Herb said, putting his hand on Frankie’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze to pull him out of the spiral, “Those things are not you, they don’t define you. They are issues you need to deal with, but they are not who you are.”  

Frankie nodded, taking a deep breath, “She made me feel like that, like that stuff doesn’t define me. She didn’t know about it all, I didn’t tell her, but…I don’t know…” Frankie trailed off, trying to figure out how to put into words how someone who didn’t know him, could make his head so peaceful. “She just…made it feel…right?” He shook his head, “I don’t know Herb, I can’t get my head around it, she made me feel peaceful, my head was quiet when I was with her and I craved it.” 

“It must’ve been hard to resist being around her if she had that effect on you, especially in the city,” Herb replied and Frankie nodded. 

“I never should’ve gone back to the bar after the first time, but shit…” Frankie trailed off again and Herb glanced over at him as the truck bounced over the last mile of dirt road up to Frankie’s cabin. He pulled up in front of it and killed the engine. 

“Are you staying in touch with her? The other woman?” he asked, and Frankie shook his head. 

“Na, I fucked up, she doesn’t want anything to do with me. I told her I was leaving though, so that’s it, I’m out of her life.” 

“Take it as a lesson Frankie,” the older man said, putting his hand on his shoulder again, “Take it as a lesson and learn from it, even though you feel like shit about it now. Maybe you’ll find your way back to her some day, or maybe you’ll find someone who makes you feel the same as she did. Either way, when that day comes, make sure you’ve learned from your mistakes and don’t repeat them. Be honest to yourself and to those around you. That's all you can do.” 

Frankie nodded and put his hand over Herb’s on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze, “Thanks man, I needed to hear that. I already know it, but I needed to hear it.”

He pushed the door to the truck open and raised his hand in a wave, “I’ll see you tomorrow, thanks for the ride.” 

“Miranda is cooking you dinner tomorrow, you can’t say no,” Herb grinned and Frankie gave him a quick thumbs up. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, I know she’s fed up with your conversation topics,” He grinned at Herb and closed the truck door. 

Out of sight, out of mind.

That's what she'd thought, but no such luck. It was like knowing that she had a way to contact him made the intrusive thoughts even louder. Not even the loud noise in the bar that evening could drown them out. She sighed loudly as she called dibs on dishwasher duty and took a stack of glasses into the back. The murmur of the guests, the low bass of the music, it was muted back here and she took a moment. Leaning her forehead against the warm metal of the industrial dishwasher hood, she closed her eyes. 

Frankie’s face drifted into her mind and she remembered what he’d said about the noise, how it grated on his ears. She’d never thought about the noise of the city like that before. To her it was just a constant buzz in the background, a comforting hum that let her know that she wasn’t ever truly alone. But Frankie hadn’t felt that, and the way he talked about the quiet of the prairie, of where he lived in Montana, made her long for that kind of silence.

“Makes my mind go quiet and it makes me calm, it’s easier for me to live with myself out there.” 

For the first time she thought she might understand what he meant, she felt like she wanted to sit in a quiet room and just sort through her thoughts, like sorting a bookshelf. What to keep, what to throw out, what should she read next? 

What should her next step be? All she knew was that living with Frankie as a constant distraction in her head wasn’t going to work. 

With a groan she pushed herself upright again and went back to the bar. A woman snapped her fingers at her as soon as she opened the door, snapping and waving for her to come over. 

“Excuse me, miss? Miss?” she called while Aisling made her way over to the table. 

“How can I-” 

Aisling didn’t even get to finish her question before the woman was talking over her. 

“I had this wine, in a bar over on India Street, it was red, from Bulgaria I think, maybe Romania. Do you have anything like that?” 

“No, sorry, we don’t have any wines on the menu. We only have beer, but we have some re-” 

“You don’t have any wine?” The woman interrupted her again and Aisling forced her customer service smile to stay put, her cheeks aching. “What kind of a bar doesn’t serve wine?” She looked over at her laughing friends, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. “You’ve got to have something? Can’t you go to the bodega, or like the bar next door and buy a bottle?” 

“The owner of the bar has decided to specialize in beer only, but we do have some very light, fruity beers that are almost wine-like, if you’d like to try one?” 

The woman pursed her lips and looked like Aisling just deeply offended her, but then she shrugged, waving her hand in Aisling’s direction as she turned back to her friends. 

“Sure, whatever, just get me something to drink.” 

Aisling gritted her teeth into a smile, “Ok then, coming right up,” and turned back to the bar. She grabbed the Belgian beer and sent the runner over to the table with it, before she got back to serving the line of patrons at the bar. 

The bar got louder and rowdier as the evening moved on, and both Jenny and Aisling had to dodge unwelcome advances from tipsy customers. Jenny slapped away the hand of a man who reached across the counter in an attempt to hook a finger into her neckline, shouting abuse at her as he spilled his drink in the process. Aisling stepped in and chewed him out, getting the bouncer to bar him, to loud protests from his equally drunk friends. 

The whole vibe was in itself not unusual, a regular Saturday night, but Aisling felt her patience running thin, impatiently snapping at any man who got too close. The table with the rude woman left and Aisling cursed under her breath when she saw that they’d left no tip, scooping up the exact change from the table. 

The final straw came when she was collecting glasses towards the end of the evening, the bar crowd thinning out as people went home or on to some club. A man stumbled from the rest room as she bent forward over a table to retrieve a glass. As he walked behind her, he grabbed her hips and grinded his groin into her ass, groaning loudly and whooping. She pushed back, making him stumble backwards into the wall, and he cursed loudly as his head made sharp impact with wooden slats. 

“Fucking bitch!” he yelled, grabbing the back of his head, “What the hell is wrong with you?” 

“Keep your fucking hands off me!” Aisling snapped back at him, getting ready to kick him in the balls if he tried advancing on her. The drunk man took one stumbling step forward, rage across his features, but was halted by Mickey, the owner, holding up his hands in front of the man in a placating gesture. 

“Sir, please, the next drink is on the house, I apologize for her behavior,” he said, attempting to usher the man away from Aisling and towards his friends at a nearby table. 

“She fucking assaulted me,” the man protested, “I want her fired.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Mickey!” Aisling spluttered, “He was dry humping my ass and you’re giving him a drink on the house?!”

“Fucking fire the bitch!” the man yelled as Mickey ushered him towards his friends who were waving at him to join them. 

“I’ll talk to her,” Mickey assured him, snapping his fingers at Jenny to bring over another beer. 

“Mickey!” Aisling protested, and he rounded on her, hissing as he got up in her face. 

“It’s part of the job, Aisling, just brush it off. Your attitude is bad enough as it is these days, making a scene isn’t exactly helping your case. Or your tips.” 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Aisling blurted, “You’re telling me you’re fine with a guest grabbing my ass and dry humping just so that we can get more tips? Why don’t you just hire a prostitute?!”

“Now, listen, Aisling-” 

“No, you fucking listen!” Aisling snapped, her temper getting the better of her as she felt the injustice of the whole fucking night fuel her rage. “Fuck that guy, and fuck you for taking his side, fuck your bar and your stupid fucking overpriced pretentious beer.”  

Aisling threw the rag she’d been holding on the floor as Jenny stared at her from across the bar, as did pretty much everyone else. But Aisling was too furious to care, and she didn’t even register Mickey yelling at her as she stormed through the back door. Cursing she wiped at the tears that welled up, she hated how she always cried when she got mad, and grabbed her bag and jacket. She was outside in the back alley before she’d even gotten out of her uniform shirt, and with an angry growl she ripped it off, buttons bouncing over the ground. She pulled her own shirt from the bag and yanked it over her head as the back door opened. It was Jenny, her eyes wide as she glanced back over her shoulder. 

“Mickey’s livid, I think he might really fire you this time,” she gasped, “Come back in and apologize, please!” 

“No fucking way, I quit, I’m fucking done,” Aisling replied, tugging her jacket over the t-shirt as she started to walk away down the alley. 

“Aisling!” Jenny called after her, nervously looking between the door to the bar and Aisling’s retreating back. “Aisling! I’ll call you tomorrow! I’ll get him to not fire you, ok?” 

The interior of the cabin smelled stale and musty as Frankie pushed open the door. Leaving it open, he dumped his duffel bag on the nearest chair and went to open the windows and let the clean air inside. The smell of the prairie drifted in on the draft and he inhaled again, it smelled like home in a way he’d never felt anywhere else. A little it reminded him of his childhood back in Texas, but mostly it just reminded him of life here. 

He sank down on the couch and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. He should shower, should heat up a can of something for dinner, but he just needed to relax for a minute. A coyote barked from somewhere outside and Frankie pushed himself off the couch and went to the front door, sinking down on the porch swing. The night in front him was dark but he could make out the shadows as his eyes got used to the faint light. 

The coyote barked again, and Frankie heard the underbrush rustle as a startled rabbit scurried away. He relaxed back against the wooden slats and kicked it into a slow swing. The sky above him was sparkling with stars and out of habit he found the North Star, a constant in the northern hemisphere, it had helped guide him many times. 

The coyote yapped again, closer this time, and Frankie scanned the darkness just out of his field of vision, straining his eyes to spot the glimmer of the animal's eyes. His ears felt unfamiliar with the silence after the weeks in the city, but after a while he could pick up the faint rustle of the wind through the dry grass. A twig snapped nearby and as Frankie looked over, he saw the coyote. It had frozen mid step as it spotted Frankie’s movement, and now the two of them stared at each other across the front yard. 

“Hey there, boy,” Frankie said in a low voice, “what you up too?” 

The coyote blinked as its ears moved forward towards the voice and Frankie chuckled. 

“Are you the welcome wagon? I appreciate you keeping an eye on the place while I was gone, but there’s no food here, boy. Better get a move on or that jackrabbit’s gonna get even further away.” 

The animal regarded Frankie with curiosity for a few more seconds, before a sound behind drew its attention and it turned its head towards the darkness. 

“Go on, boy,” Frankie said, keeping his voice low, and the coyote looked back at him once again, before it turned and disappeared into the night. Frankie watched the spot where it had been swallowed up by the shadows for a while before he got to his feet with a sigh. He felt content. There was a dull ache in him, a hole left by Aisling, shaped by the guilt and regret he felt, but he hoped it would fade over time. He would take Herb’s advice and learn the lesson, make sure he didn’t make the same mistake again. 

Aisling slammed the door to her tiny apartment, reality starting to catch up with her as the rage abated. Sinking down on the bed she dropped her head in her hands, sighing deeply. It wasn’t that she got fired, she could probably convince Mickey to take her back. If not, there were thousands of bars and cafés around Brooklyn, she’d find a new job. 

No, it was the idea of going back to another bartending job, or being a barista, smiling for tips, being polite to rude customers and dodging their advances. She was in her forties, and up until now, her life hadn’t bothered her. She made enough to pay her small bills, buy bodega sandwiches and the odd evening out with friends. It had been enough. Kicking off her shoes, she lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. 

It had been enough. Past tense. 

It irked her to admit, but at the root of it, was Frankie. The way he’d talked about his life in Montana, so different to how she lived. How he couldn’t handle the noise and the rush of New York that she just took for granted. He just wanted to go back home to the silence, the big open sky, where his mind could be quiet. And for the first time in her life, she craved the same silence. And she craved him. 

She sat up on the bed, staring at her small bookshelf. She could almost reach it from the bed, the room was that small and suddenly she couldn’t stand it. She took two steps across the floor and pulled out the book, finding his note at once. The handwriting was so neat and precise, it didn’t really say anything about the man who’d jotted it down. As she sat down on the bed again, she smoothed out the paper, ran her hand across his name before she looked around the the room again. 

What do you have to lose apart from time? 

Dignity? 

Girl, what fucking dignity? You’ve just been fired from a dead end job, you live in a derelict Greenpoint relic that’s about to be knocked down, your life fits into two bags, one if you leave the books behind, what the fuck do you have to lose? 

It was no effort to pull her phone from her pocket and look up the bus time table, just looking. Just checking to see what it would cost and how long it would take. She could afford the one way ticket, but not the return. 

Fuck it. 

They had bars in Montana. 

Before she could change her mind, she pulled the duffel bag from under the bed. Her life really did fit into it, but she had to leave almost all the books, only two for the bus fit in the bag. In a final moment of uncertainty, she pocketed the key for her apartment instead of dropping it in the mail slot. Her whole life was packed up and on her shoulder in less than an hour, the thought both made her feel free and miserable. So many years with so little to show for it. But there was nothing to hold her back. One big leap made easier by her small bag, and it made her feel free. 

The window in his bedroom was open when he went to bed a little bit later on the first night back, and he crawled under the covers, feeling his mind starting to churn the second he closed his eyes, the events of the past three days rolling inside him.

Maybe I should’ve tried a little bit harder? What if I’d stayed, got my own place? 

He shook his head even as it lay on the pillow, he knew it was a pipe dream. 

On my own, I would’ve been so fucked. Probably gone back to Eva, or worse. But maybe I should’ve asked for Aisling’s number, or given her mine, just to stay in touch. She must’ve felt the same thing, right? 

He chewed his lip in the darkness, listening to the sounds of the prairie night outside with half an ear. 

She probably didn’t feel the same way, why would she? You’re grasping at the thinnest fucking straws, Morales. She’s not fucked up like you, doesn’t need saving, she’s got her shit together. It was just like a regular hook up to her, she’ll forget you in a week or two. 

He grabbed the pillow and rolled over onto his stomach and buried his face in it as he shook his head. 

Yeah, maybe, but she was still fucking pissed at me three days ago, and it had been what? A month? Would she still be that pissed if it meant nothing to her? Maybe if I give her some time? 

Pendejo, she was pissed because you didn’t tell her you had a fucking girlfriend, any woman would be pissed about that. 

He rolled the thoughts around his head, making lists in his head, pros and cons, feeling like his old army brother Will who always counted things, bullets, kills, days, months, number of times Frankie had fucked up. 

But as his mind drifted back to his trio of close friends he could hear the advice they’d give, and in the darkness, it made him smile as their voices echoed in his head. 

Will, the oldest and definitely the wisest, would cross his arms and give Frankie a thoughtful look, thinking through the options before he answered. 

Herb’s right, Fish. Take it as a lesson for your next step in life. Maybe you’ll see her again, maybe you won’t, but don’t waste this opportunity to learn something about yourself. 

Benny, the younger brother of Will, would shrug as he furrowed his forehead with a sympathetic look that didn’t really mean much, Benny could pull new women every night if he wanted too. 

It sucks, Fish, she sounds special, but I mean…do you really want to be in a relationship now? We should go out sometime and have a bit of fun. You know I’m a great wingman.

Yeah right, Frankie thought, grinning to himself. Going out with Benny to a bar meant Frankie ended up as the wingman instead while every woman in the place made eyes at the muscular blonde guy. No one looked at Frankie when Benny was in the room. 

And then there was Pope, his real brother in everything but blood. The disappointment from him about his many relapses had always been the worst to endure and it had made Frankie withdraw. In hindsight he knew it was all on him, but a piece of him wished Pope had tried harder to stay in touch when Frankie needed him the most. By now, it had been over a year since they last spoke. But Pope would always take one look at Frankie with those sharp eyes and see straight through him. And in this, he would set him straight about what he needed to do. 

Go back, hermano. If she makes you feel like that, go do what it takes to have her in your life. Even if it’s just as a friend. What have you got to lose? Not many good things have happened to you lately, if she’s one of the few, fight for it. 

Frankie sighed, rolling onto his back again, staring at the open window, a few faint stars visible. He’d pulled away from them all, from everyone in the past, in the depth of his addiction and then during his slow road to sobriety. He’d told them he’d moved to Montana only after he’d moved, sending them a text in the group chat about his whereabouts. Benny had given him a thumbs up, Will had replied saying something about whatever he needed. Pope hadn’t even replied. 

Suddenly he missed them, more than he had in a long time, ever since they came back from the doomed mission to Colombia. A mission they had no business being on, a greedy grab for money disguised behind some sort of invented moral about going after a top narco lord. It had been a disaster, leaving them more broken than ever, their team leader dead, and their brotherhood almost torn a part. 

He reached for his phone, finding Pope’s number and quickly, before he could change his mind, he typed a message and hit send. 

Port Authority after midnight was even more of a shitshow than she’d expected, and she quickly made her way through the sparse crowd to the right bus stop. The bus wasn’t due to leave for another forty minutes and she pulled out her phone again, nervously tapping the locked screen. She hadn’t bought a ticket yet, her nerves holding her back. Butterflies, and not the good kind, fluttered in her stomach. Apart from short trips to Long Island, a few weeks living on Staten Island that she’d rather forget about, she’d never left New York. Never left the state, never had the money, or the need too. Now she was facing two days on a bus, leaving everything behind based on a shitty night and a man she hadn’t spoken to in three months. Her lip was chewed raw by the time she unlocked the phone and the bus rolled into the stop.

She stood with the phone in hand, looking at the screen, the small ‘Buy’ button taunting her, even as the driver opened the door and announced the departure. The other passengers began to load their bags into the hold, and still her thumb hovered over the button. 

A high pitched squeak pulled her attention away from the phone and she looked towards the source of the sound, further down the plattform. A fat, well fed New York city rat, was attacking a pigeon, it looked like it’s wing was broken. As Aisling watched, the rat sank its long, yellow teeth into the neck of the bird, and dragged it underneath a dumpster by the wall. She heard another pathetic squawk from the pigeon and then it went quiet. With a shudder she turned back to the phone and hit ‘Buy’. 

Fuck this city. 

Frankie blinked in confusion at the bright sunlight that streamed across his face.

“Jeez…” he muttered to himself as he rubbed a hand over the stubble on his jaw and glanced over at the clock radio on his bedside table. He hadn’t set his alarm and now he was later than he usually would be. His belly growled, reminding him that he’d forgotten to eat last night, and with a yawn, he dragged himself out of bed and into the shower to start the day. 

He ate a can of ravioli from the pan while standing at the stove and poured the black coffee in a travel mug before he headed out the door. After reconnecting the battery the old truck rumbled to life and he gave it a grateful pat. At least some things were always dependable. 

Herb greeted him back at the ranch and then sent him back into the routine of the day without nonsense, telling him to go over the tack of the horses that would be going out on the trail with a group of guests the next day. 

Frankie was met by a sharp whicker as he stepped into the stable, two large heads turned to him as he pulled the door closed. The buckskin horse whickered again, bobbing its head up and down and Frankie chuckled, stepping over to her. 

“Hey, Dolly, my girl. Did you miss me?” he muttered, scratching her forelock as she nudged his arm for treats, nuzzling close to his shoulder. Frankie rested his head against hers and inhaled the familiar smell of her coat as she affectionately nipped at his shirt. 

“Sorry I left without saying goodbye,” he said, “but I’m back now, and I think I’ll stay. Gonna take you out later today, you can make sure I can’t walk tomorrow, my butt’s gonna be so sore.” 

He chuckled at his own joke as Dolly gave a low whicker, her soft nose bumping his pocket. 

“Sorry, I forgot to bring something, I’ll make it up to you later.” 

She gave him a snort but seemed to forgive him as he continued to scratch her mane. After a few minutes he gave her a final pat and went over to the tack room, giving the other horse a pat too. His phone started ringing as he opened the door to the tack room and Pope’s name flashed across the screen. His thumb hovered over the green button for a few seconds before he drew a deep breath and hit it. 

“Hey Pope, it’s been a while,” he said in greeting, dropping his eyes to his boots without even realizing, as if Pope was standing in front of him with those sharp eyes. 

“It has, but it’s good to hear from you, Fish,” came the voice of his oldest friend on the other end, “You still in Montana?” 

“Yeah, but I just got back from New York, long story,” Frankie replied, “All good with you, hermano?” Calling Pope brother was almost a code between them, a word only used when it meant something, when it was time to listen. The word a special signal between just the two of them, brothers in all but blood. 

Frankie could hear Pope’s smile through the phone, a low chuckle almost in relief, “I’m good, hermano. Still in Florida, still with Linda.” Pope had started dating her back when Frankie had been deep in his addiction, and he’d only met her twice, neither time a very good memory. But from what he’d heard from Benny, she made Pope happy and they were good together. 

“That’s great, man, I’m happy for you, I…I know I didn’t make the best impression on her, but she seemed great for you.” 

“She is, and I’m…” Pope trailed off for a few seconds as Frankie heard the sound of someone moving on the other end, a low ‘bye, love you’ from Pope, and a door closing. “Sorry, she’s just off to work, yeah, she’s amazing, I’m really happy, found some peace, you know?” 

Frankie shuffled his boots on the rough concrete floor of the tack room and leaned against the workbench, a sudden spout of jealousy tightening his throat. 

“Yeah, I know, I’m happy for you, really, man. It’s great to hear that you found it.” 

“What about you, Fish? You still clean, doing ok out there in cowboy country?” 

Frankie could hear the smirk and the exaggerated twang in Pope’s voice and he chuckled. 

“Yeah, I’m good, still clean, still working the ranch, but…uhm...Eva and I broke up. She moved to New York a while back.” 

“Shit, sorry to hear that,” Pope replied, “But I…” 

“Listen, man,” Frankie interrupted Pope, he didn’t want to go into the whole business with Eva over the phone, and he could hear his friend gearing up for a longer conversation, “I was thinking last night. I know I’ve been shit at staying in touch, but I want to change that. I’m not coming back to Florida any time soon, but maybe you and the Millers could come out here? I wanna show you guys my life out here.” 

“Frankie,” Pope smiled down the phone, “I’d fucking love that, and you know the Miller’s won’t say no to some ranching. Let me talk to them, we’ll find some dates that work and let you know.” 

“Awesome, man, it’ll be good, I’ll make sure Herb books you into one of the nice cabins.” 

“And get me a horse that won’t buck me off,” Pope laughed at the other end and Frankie grinned. 

“I’m not promising anything, might put you on the mule.” 

“Fuck off,” came the instant reply. 

“You’ll love the mule, Pope,” Frankie laughed before he glanced over at the saddles waiting for him, “Listen, I’ve got to get back to work, we’ve got guests coming tomorrow,” 

“Alright, hermano, we’ll see you soon, ok?”

“Yeah, see you soon, hermano.” 

Frankie felt the smile stretching his face as he hung up the phone, he felt lighter already. Guilt and shame had kept him away from his old friends, and reconnecting might not be easy. But this was a small step towards it and he needed to move forward. Put Eva and New York behind him, get over Aisling, learn from his mistake and rectify those he could. With a deep exhale, he hoisted the first saddle off its perch on the wall. 

The Greyhound bus rumbled away down the pin straight highway, heading west, towards the darkening mountain range. The sun slowly sunk behind the highest peaks, soon their shadows would touch her feet. Looking back, east, towards a past she’s left on a whim, she sighed and let her eyes drift up to the indigo sky. Big sky country indeed. 

So alien to her eyes, so open to someone used to living their life surrounded by tall buildings, busy people, small trees in small parks. 

Here, the open prairie gave speed to the cold wind hurtling down from the mountain range, whipping dirt from the road, tugged at her loose hair. She briefly closed her eyes against the particles of dust, inhaled deeply, tasting it on her tongue, dry grass in the air, a hint of snow from the mountains. No way back now, the bus too far away to stop. Only her duffel bag and a phone number, hoping he’d pick up and let her in. 

Aisling turned around and crossed the road, the bright lights of the gas station at the edge of town spilling across the dusty asphalt. She pushed open the door and nodded to the clerk behind the counter, dropping her bag by one of the small tables next to the coffee machine. His number was already in her phone, but she hadn’t had the courage to call him yet. But now she was here, and he was only a short car ride away. 

She closed her eyes, sending up a silent prayer, and tapped Frankie’s name on the screen, pressing the phone to her ear as it rang. 

Chapter 7

A/N: So Aisling finally got herself out to Montana on a bit of a whim, spur of the moment decision. But how is Frankie going to react when she suddenly turns up on his doorstep?

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