#i don’t think we should ever address elephant

[valetteofroshar]

i bought my friend an elephant for her room.

she said “thankyou”.

i said “don’t mention it”.

[wutheringcaterpillar]

A Bump In The Night: Part 3

Find part 2 here Summary: Tommy confronts Pol, and comforts you, meanwhile James and Lizzie pay a visit expecting to settle a date.

Warnings: Smut, fingering, p in v, spanking

taglist: @calmingmelody96 @sunflower-tia

Tommy bursted through the door, grabbing everyone’s attention from the living room lounging areas. Finn knew that look, the “Get out or I will force you out look”. The only Shelby that refused to move was Pol, along with the elephant in the room. Smirking she didn’t say a word from her position in the armchair, gracefully sipping the burning cup of tea.

Removing his jacket, he hung the fabric cloth away onto the coat rack, reaching for a cigarette before addressing you.

“Go to your room. Now.” When you tried to respond Tommy held his hand out, silencing any further words you may want to add. Shrugging and crossing your arms tightly around your torso, with hurried footsteps you scurried into your room, slamming the door shut, the walls shaking from the anger behind your strength.

Rolling his eyes, Tommy knew he’d deal with you later, and began to approach his aunt with vindication, and power with every step against the hardwood floor.

“I thought we came to an agreement Pol.” Taking a seat, he crossed one leg over the other, pouring himself a glass of whiskey from the end table.

“I don’t recall, what you’re speaking of my dear, ever infuriating nephew. Go ahead kill Mr. Gold, it’s what you do best after all isn’t it? I pity you Thomas. I knew your mind was fucked, hell all of ours are, but  your sister? I knew you were close but that’d be a line I thought you’d have the common sense not to cross.” Scoffing, he let the burning sensation liqour wash down his throat, twiddling the glass with his hand, thinking wisely before responding.

“Hm.”  Eyebrows creasing together, his lips curled into a soft smile, a smile that spoke with a threat.

“Pol. I’ve always put this family first, the business first have I not?” She nodded subtly, still holding her stance on the opinion of profound disapproval for the relationship, trying to ignore every day the knots curdling in her gut just at the thought of you two together.

“She’s young, and I refuse to be her heartbreak, as should you. She was crying today y’know? The thought of you marrying her off, to Lizzie’s cousin, sending her away from me. She’s comfortable here, and she will lose all sense of trust if you push her out of this house. I won’t allow it. So allow this to sit next to you as a reminder. I know where your son is, I know he’s got some whore knocked up right now. It would be a shame if something were to, I don’t know, happen to them, all at the cost of your disapproval of Y/N and I. So listen, and listen closely.” Pol sat there, her heart sinking like a ship down into the depths of her stomach while a lump formed in her throat from disbelief. Her worried eyes fixated on Tommy. 

“You will not marry her off. She will stay here, in the place that has been her home. You will keep denying of any knowledge that we are anything more than brother and sister. Forget the cut, I have more information than what I need, and you of all people should know, when I have a plan, chaos ensues, wars break loose and I can assure you-“

He stood up from his seat, staring down at your anxious aunt, lips pressed in a firm, cold hard line not stuttering a single word with his menacing tone.

“You do not want to go to war with me. Call off the wedding, or you leave my hands tied with no choice. Your call.” Pol watched as he walked off to the stairs, presumably to your room.

~

Opening the door, he found you face down into the plush pillow, his shirt tucked between your delicate soft hands. He knew this act well, and known it to be the silent treatment that you’d only give him when you’re terribly upset.

“Darling. I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I’ve got it under control and taken care of. You know I’ll always look after you.” There were those soft, wide teary eyes when you tilted your head up. Tommy pursed his lips in pity, always hating see his baby girl saddened, the delicate thing you were. His hand pressed against your teary cheek, caressing your soft skin while he placed a kiss to your temple.

“C’mere.” He pulled you onto his lap, cradling, and holding your shaking body closely to his heart as he felt your nose nuzzle into the crook of his warm neck.

You truly were terrified Pol would send you away, marrying you off to anyone who held the highest bid, like you were just some pawn in a game you weren’t wise enough yet to play.

After a moment of silence and Tommy rubbing your back attempting to soothe you, when he felt your breathing pattern relax and no longer heard sniffles, he presumed it time to discuss what happened at school.

“So, who’s this new friend of yours eh? With me taking care of Pol, I don’t see a need for you to be cordial with him anymore.” Furrowing your eyebrows, struck by his jealousy, you pushed yourself off of his lap, standing directly in front of him with your arms crossed, a discerning scowl painting your face.

“I don’t think that’s very fair, considering you know how I feel about Lizzie, yet you disregard me every time. She likes you, just how James likes me. Maybe a little jealousy, would do you good to realize your not the only man that wishes to be between my legs.” 

“Ah but there’s the difference love. I am the only man that has been between your legs, and if I recall correctly…” Trailing off, his digits ran between your heated thighs, feeling the warmth of your pussy still yearning for another fuck from him. He knew he was quite right when you released a lustful, surprised sigh, eyes nearly fluttering shut.

“You wouldn’t want it any other way.” Tommy focused his calm ocean on yours, noticing you weren’t telling him to stop as he massaged your mound. 

Pulling your panties aside, you hadn’t stopped him from inserting one of his digits deep into your already soaked core, receiving a hum of approval from your brother.

“That’s what I thought, my desperate girl.” Your chest was falling and rising , eyebrows furrowing together trying to hold back from the building pleasure, trying to make that tiny heartbeat in your pussy diminish not wanting to give him any gratification.

His plush lips connected to your neck, marking his territory as he kissed your honey suckle, smooth skin while his fingers continue to work you open.

Giving into him, you fell back onto the mattress, Tommy towering over you, clutching your breast through the tight shirt, having the ability to see your nipples already hardening, wanting to burst from the thin fabric.

His fingers sped up, your nectar merely swimming down your slippery slope as you grinded down against him in an attempt for more friction.

“More- p-please Tommy…” Pulling his fingers out, you whined from the sudden emptiness, ready to throw a fit once more until he pulled you over his lap.

“You know the rules yet you disobeyed them.” Frowning, he pushed you skirt up, displaying yourself over his thick thighs, feeling the cold leather of the buckle of his belt against your side, causing goosebumps to form on your skin.

Perching your ass up, you were biting your lip nervously, embracing for impact.

Shifting slightly, you winced when in reality Tommy was just rolling up his sleeves.

Caressing the delicate skin of your bum, he swiped his hand back before sending it full throttle clashing onto your smooth, unharmed skin.

“Ow!” You screeched out, but the more you squirm, the sharper Tommy hit, more forceful.

Slap after slap he watched your ass bounce, your skin darking to a bruised shade.

“Are you going to talk to boys anymore?”

“No! No! I promise Tommy!” Another smack, your ass cheeks stinging and writhing in pain. Your hands gripped at the sheets while you were on the brink of tears, cheeks heating from the agony.

“Did you learn your lesson?” He took amusement from seeing your desperation for the punishment to be over. 

“Yes! Yes! I swear!” Pushing you off onto your stomach, he removed his pants, sliding those soaked panties to the side, revealing your glistening cherry, dripping like water and eager to be filled.

In a swift motion he was still careful, knowing it’d only been your second time, thrusting slowly inside of your tight walls.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you released a lustful moan from feeling so full. The pain was still present as you adjusted to the large shape of his cock, but the mint scent of his breath by your ear, and the warmth of his skin against your back comforted you, subduing the uncomfortable feeling.

“Taking me cock so well love, so fucking tight you are.” Nibbling on your ear, he pumped slowly in and out of your cavern, allowing your sex to suffocate his shaft. Moaning you moved your bum back, demanding more friction, more movement.

“Eager now, are we?” 

“Fuck me Tommy please, I need you.” The sound of your desperate, delicate voice was enough for him. Quickening his pace, he drilled into your dripping cunt with a such force your ass bounced up and down against his skin, grinding and pushing him further in until he was balls deep inside of your dripping cunt.

His lips connected to the crook of your neck as you moaned sweet despairs into the pillow, an engimatic fire lighting between your thighs while he fucked into you relentlessly.

His hands roamed down your sides, sucking and leaving his marks on your shoulder blades.

All of him was yours, and all of you was his. Skin to skin, each ping of pleasure forming clouds in your heads, thighs becoming weak as he gripped your sides, his cock swiftly pounding up into your cervix. 

“Tommy I-I’m going to-“

“Since you took your punishment so well, I suppose you can cum. Release love.” Without needing any further instruction, you rode his cock with such ferocity and precision, until your walls clenched tight around his thick member, your silver syrup oozing out as your toes curled, your body trembling around your brother. 

At that moment there was a knock on the door startling you both, it was Pol standing in the door way huffing and puffing when her eyes fell on your nude bodies intwined in bed.

“Oh for godsake! I don’t mean to interrupt your rendezvous but James and Lizzie are downstairs. Get yourselves together, they’re requesting to speak to you both.” Slamming the door behind her, Tommy rolled his eyes, holding you close to his heart when he sensed your discomfort of going downstairs. You hated to upset others, and held a strong dislike of confrontation. You knew it’d look odd if you were to stay upstairs, and Tommy would always protect you and keep you away from the line of fire.

Peppering sweet kisses to your cheek, and tickling your sides. He reassured you once again that he had things under control, not to fret.

Coming down the stairs, Lizzie scoffed at the sight of your messy bed head, to which you replied with a hateful sneer. To avoid tensions, Tommy settled his hand on your arm protectively, giving a stare of dominance, demanding obedience or else.

Walking in with a cup of tea, and Pol by his side, James walked in with a kind hearted smile that soon turned upside down once he realized the change of heart by the subtle apologetic look on your face.

“To what do we owe the displeasure? Surely you’ve heard I’ve already found her a more suitable candidate, you understand, eh?” Tommy held his strong position, his determined blue eyes speaking with power and position, ensuring that they were comprehending there was no further room for discussion. 

Lizzie stood there baffled, wanting to prod at who it was. She’s had her suspicions for quite some time. Pol wanted to slap that stupid grin off her nephew’s face, knowing the game he was playing at. James stepped further in the room, disregarding Tommy, and settling in the love seat, folding one leg over another. If Lizzie wasn’t going to ask, he was.

“What is your problem with me Mr. Shelby? I’ve posed no threat to Y/N, I’ve been a kind friend to her. Tell me, did you really find another man, who are you saving her for someone else?” The skepticism in his voice, and the confidence in questioning him made Tommy smirk.

“I don’t like you. I don’t trust you, nor are you good enough for her. As her brother it’s my job to ensure her safety, and approve of who’s to marry her. Why would I trust her with someone who’s bought whores off the street, assaulting them when you believe no one has an eye on you, eh?” 

“Brother or lover?” The room went silent, everyone astounded by the accusation, focusing their eyes on Tommy, waiting for an answer.

Chuckling, he took a seat across from the boy while pouring a glass of whiskey from the sidetable.

The tensions were high, a lump held in your throat from being nervous, all of Birmingham knew what Tommy was capable of. James tried to act as if he wasn’t frightened and intimidated of the middle Shelby, merely locking his jaw to hide the slim quivering of his bottom lip while Pol and Lizzie held their standing positions.

“Quite offending accusations, no? For someone who knows little to nothing about us Shelby’s. I find you intriguing James, you’ve lost the game but still willing to play, why is that?” Tommy spoke with authority and grit, unphased by the boy sitting in front of him. James knowing how introverted, and shy you were took the opportunity, glancing toward you grinning as if he had an upper hand, before he had the chance to take a jab at you, Tommy leaned forward, pointing his finger at James.

“My eyes are over here. She’s not involved in this little conversation. She’s a big girl, can make her own choices and she chose for me to tell you to fuck right off, or I will not hesitate to call my men, and ensure you never return. Don’t believe me? Then tell me how I know so much about you when you’ve only just met my sister today.” Before Lizzie could argue for her nephew, Tommy raised his hand silencing her, reminding her the men were talking and her interjection wasn’t needed.

James was rendered speechless, Pol fuming nearly breaking her glass in her hand when the boy got up without a word, bidding you goodbye and leaving, forcing Lizzie to come with him.

As soon as the door shut you rushed over to Tommy crying joyfully and squeezing his sides.

Pol thought back to Michael, holding her tongue at the risk of his life in Tommy’s hands. She hadn’t even known where Michael was. Shooting daggers at you both, she exited the room calling for Arthur for a family meeting.

[mrswolffs-blog]

The Interview: Lewis Hamilton x Black! Reader

It was time for the press conferences and so the drivers shuffled in unwillingly since they all hated this part of their job. Everyone took their seat and away went the questions. They had been twenty minutes into the conference when a beautiful young black woman raised her hand to ask a question. Lewis noticed her and immediately started smiling as he remembered her.

“Hey, I remember you! You were at the club on Friday!” He exclaimed in excitement as the lady’s eyes went wide at his declaration. “Lewis don’t say that here, you’re ruining my reputation” The woman countered as she blushed profusely causing Lewis to smile at her. She gathered herself and went on with her job. “Hi, my name is Y/n L/n and I have a question for Lewis” She said nervously as everyone kept staring at her. “I wanted to ask how do you feel now that you’ve extended your contract with Mercedes instead of going off with Ferrari? You had given everyone quite a scare when they found out about the contract” Y/n explained as Lewis listened attentively; something the other driver and reporters along with fans have noticed. “First off I want to say that I hope you’re doing well and taking care of your stability and to answer your question, I feel great. When I got the Ferrari contract I honestly didn’t consider signing with them so the document was just on my desk in my home office up until the last meeting, I decided that since no other team reached out and I loved my current team, I would stay here at Mercedes” Lewis answered her question fully. “Thank you Sir Lewis for answering and yes I am well and my stability is as stable as it can be” Y/n answered as Lewis but the inside of his cheeks, watching as she walked back to her seat.

The press conference went on for almost another hour when someone finally addressed the elephant in the room. A male reporter walked up to the mic asking. “Sir Lewis, you mentioned earlier that you had met Ms. Y/n at the club this past Friday and you seem really happy about that. Please don’t take this in a way of disrespect but I would love to know what could have possibly happened for you to actually perk up the you did when you recognized her?” The reporter asked making Lewis smile as he held his head down, meanwhile the other female reporters were giving the poor girl nasty side eyes and the unoccupied male reporters were either winking at her or admiring her beauty as they awaited Lewis’ response. “What happened was that I had gotten the chance to dance with the lovely woman as we were both abandoned by our friends that night” Lewis recalled shyly to which the everyone awed at him.

After the interview had finished everyone packed up to leave, yet Lewis stayed behind as he realized that Y/n had went to the restroom, so he carefully packed up her bag and waited for her. The woman was surprized to see the 7x World Champion waiting for her as she headed back to her desk.

“Hi Lewis, shouldn’t you be heading back to the hotel?” She asked curiously as to why he was still there. “Yes, I should be but since I wasn’t sure if I would see you around until next week, I decided to ask you before you went missing” Lewis explained as she nodded for him to continue. “Y/n ever since I met you that night in the club, I’ve become more attracted to you with each passing day. I’ve always admired you from afar and for me to get this close to you I don’t want to lose this opportunity. Will you please consider going on a date with me whenever you’re free? It doesn’t have to be out in the public we could eat in and have a movie night or we could do some fun board games or even skincare cause I know you like that” he pleaded as he watched her think. “Ok, I’m up for it, we can do it tonight seeming that we are staying in the same hotel, you have my number that you didn’t use earlier so now you can text me your room number and I’ll be there at 7pm” Y/n said as she patted his chest softly before making her way to the garage.

Lewis looked on in amazement, smiling wide and feeling like a high school boy who just spoke to his crush as he ran excitedly to his car to get prepared for his date.

[sissificationblogpost1]

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[halstudandruz]

Best of Me ~ Part 5

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: Time for celebrations

Part 1 here // Part 2 here // Part 3 here // Part 4 here

Warnings: Swearing, drinking/alcohol, cheating

Sydney and Emily both stared at you, smiles wide on their faces. Jay quickly exited the room after the two found you in a compromising position.

“So, um sorry you break it to you, but I actually already have dibs on the red dress.” You steered clear of the obvious question in the room.

You and your friends had spent almost 24/7 together throughout the next week. Sydney mentioned a couple days after Vanessa’s funeral that Jay and Kevin were stuck working on a case so it wasn’t often that you had to avoid the tension in the room. You were relieved to learn that your kiss wasn’t the reason he had made himself scarce. You had talked to Kyle a few times throughout the week, still pissed, and the constant questioning of when you would be home only increased your annoyance.

It was always the elephant in the room everyone had avoided. None of you wanted to address the inevitable. Soon you would all return home and life would have to go back to normal. No more living in the past. No more pretending like there wasn’t a life you had to go back to. A fiancé, a wedding to plan, an already planned future and you weren’t mentally ready to address the fact that every time you thought about it you had a feeling of dread.

“We should do something tonight.” Emily said through a mouthful of chips.

“We’re doing something now.” You gestured to the Cubs game on the television.

“No, I mean actually like go out.” Emily insisted.

“Why can’t you ever just be content?” You sighed.

“Because if I was content we wouldn’t ever have any fun together.” She stared pointedly at all of you who were perfectly fine watching a baseball game on a Friday night.

“She’s right.” Carson contributed from the side after a few minutes of silence. You all turned to face him, “We should go out tonight.”

“Really?” It was clear Emily was taken back by his agreement.

“As much as we don’t want to believe it, it seems like the world is going to keep turning. Which is a little hard to fathom since she was the focal point of my universe, but regardless of whether we steer clear of the topic or not you guys have to go back to your lives at some point. A week from now Jay and I will be the only ones left here again and who knows the next time we see each other. We haven’t all been together like this since the summer we,” he gestured to himself and Cody, “graduated, and even if it is the worst circumstance possible I don’t think we should take this time for granted. I fucking missed you guys, and there’s no reason we shouldn’t be making memories while we’re able to. She would kick our asses if we weren’t. Plus as long as there’s alcohol I’m good.” The room became silent as you all mulled over his words. Sydney clearing her throat a minute later,

“That’s actually not true.”

“What’s not true?” Carson’s brow furrowed.

“I didn’t want to say anything until the paperwork was finalized, but my company is opening a new branch in Chicago and they offered to transfer me to head it.” She was attempting to hold back a smile but broke whenever everyone erupted in congratulations, “Thanks, I wish it would’ve came sooner but I’m just happy to be coming home.”

“Not to steal your thunder Syd, but Em and I have been talking too. My company is going to be fully remote by the end of the year and,” he turned to Emily encouraging her to finish the thought.

“And I ran into Jay’s brother at the store yesterday. He said Chicago Med is looking for new pediatric nurses and said he’d put in a good word.” She smiled warmly. The excitement in the room was clear.

“Well we’re definitely going out now! How about Coyote’s? Omg [Y/N], this can be like part one of your bachelorette party!” Sydney basically hopped in excitement and you immediately wanted to protest. You had been to Coyote’s exactly one time before and it was full of drunks and loud music.

“Wait, does that mean we’re not invited?” Cody asked in a slight pout.

“We can’t get into trouble without our lead troublemaker.” Emily pulled him in for a kiss.

“We both know that’s you, babe.”

A few hours later you were huddled in Sydney’s bathroom getting ready against your will.

“Oh yay!” She smiled, putting the straightener down to open her phone, “They just wrapped up the case so Kevin is gonna meet us there.”

“What about Jay?” Emily asked putting her mascara back in the tube after inspecting her eyelashes.

“Let me ask.” She typed a response. You knew you were going to be disappointed if it was a no. Was it weird to have your ex at your bachelorette party? Yes, probably but you also wanted everyone there. If these were potentially the last memories you all made together you needed him to be there.

“He’s going to try, but his Sergeant asked him to finish the paperwork for the case so he’s not sure yet.” Your friend read Kevin’s response out loud before another chime came from her phone,

“Oh my fuck.” You watched her eyes widen, redness spreading down her neck.

“What? What’s wrong?” You searched her face anxiously before she turned her screen towards you and Emily. A selfie, Kevin must’ve sent her, displayed. He wore jeans, and a maroon shirt that was covered by a black bulletproof vest, Atwater/Intelligence stitched into one side and a Chicago Police badge on the other. He sported a cocky smirk.

Your mind involuntarily began to wonder if Jay owned a similar one. Suddenly you couldn’t get the image out of your mind, a twinge appearing between your legs at the mental thought.

“I’m so getting railed tonight.” Sydney began to reply, with what you were sure was a dirty text.

“Same!” Emily smiled high-fiving her, but Syd cringed.

“Yeah we can’t do that anymore.” She shivered, after realizing it was her brother that would be doing the railing.

“It’s my bachelorette party and you two are the ones getting it? That seems unfair.” You joked, curling a final piece of your hair.

“You could get it too.”

“My fiancé is not even close to the same state as me.”

“Yeah, yeah we’re not talking about Kyle. Listen, you can deny it and avoid the subject all you want, but we know what was happening in that room before we got there.” They didn’t ask about the bedroom situation a week prior and you didn’t offer it up either.

“Guys-“ You sighed, but Emily held her hands up in defense.

“You don’t have to answer or explain. We’re just saying you could get it.” She shrugged.

Just as you had left it years prior Coyote’s was still filled with intoxicated people dancing to loud, banging music. You had all quickly moved to an open booth. After about an hour Emily and Sydney succeeded in convincing their significant others to accompany them on the dance floor. You however stayed seated talking to Carson. Eyes flicking to the door every so often.

“Hey, let’s talk.” Carson said in almost a whisper.

“Isn’t that what we’ve been doing for the last two hours?” You teased.

“Jay, told me about what happened.” He ignored your quip.

“Car, I’m sorry.” You immediately felt guilty.

“Why?” He looked at you confused.

“We had just gotten back from the funeral and everyone is grieving and it probably just looks like Jay and I didn’t even care and-“ His laugh cut you off.

“Stop being ridiculous. First of all, there is no correct way to grieve. I’ve learned this last week we’re,” he gestured to and your friends on the dance floor, “going to be judged no matter what. If people knew we were here tonight we’d be judged for trying to continue to life our lives. If we stayed at home we’d be judged for moping and taking too long to heal. It’s inevitable. Secondly,” he sighed, “I know I’ve never met Kyle, but what I do know is you and Ness knew each other inside out and if she didn’t think-“ You cut him off already knowing where this was heading.

“I know they don’t love Kyle, but I feel like they’re not giving him a fair shake. Everyone has this idea in their head that I shouldn’t be with anybody else except-“ and as if on cue Jay’s voice beside you interrupts.

“Those cups are looking a little empty.” He gestured to the glasses on the table. You didn’t miss the moment he realized what you were wearing, eyes hungrily trailing down your body where Vanessa’s red dress clung, and neither did Carson. Clearing his throat he tried to hold the smirk back,

“I need to piss. Be right back.” He slipped out of the booth leaving you alone with Jay for the first time since the kiss.

“Thanks for making it.” You smiled at him, genuinely attempting to water down the tension.

“Wouldn’t have missed it. You good?” Jay bumped his shoulder against yours, noticing your forlorn expression. He could always read you like a book.

“Yeah, sorry. Just a lot went down today.” You shook your head.

“Care to fill me in?”

“They’re doing it.” You were happy you truly were, but your heart still tinged with sadness.

“Who’s doing what?” His eyebrow raised in confusion.

“They’re all coming back. They’re making it happen.” You explained, but it was clear by his expression he was still confused.

“You know what? Let me get us drinks first.” He offered sliding out of the booth, taking long strides towards the bar.

You had had a mix of emotions running through you since your conversation at Carson’s earlier in the day. You were thrilled for your friends. All of your once awaited hopes and dreams of coming back home, having weekly barbecues and pizza nights, and raising your kids together were happening, but you weren’t in the equation. You couldn’t be in the equation. Because you did have a life to go back to. One that you couldn’t just up and move. Your ring suddenly felt even heavier on your hand than it did the week prior. The night Jay implied it inhibited you of all opinions and you wanted it off, but a warm body sliding next to you brought you out of your thoughts.

“Bride to be, huh?” A young blonde kid who looked like he still lived in a frat spoke, gesturing to the sash Emily and Sydney insisted you wear.

“Looks like it.” You nodded nervously playing with the sash that hung around your torso.

“You know the best thing about bachelorette parties?” He slid closer to you, and your eyes went to Jay’s back hoping he could somehow feel your desperation to forego the drink and save you from the increasingly uncomfortable interaction.

“Enlighten me.” You answered unamusingly, attempting to put more space between you and the kid. As if you were connected telepathically Jay turned to meet your eyes. Squinting at the body beside you before a smile spread over his face moving slowly back towards you empty handed.

“The theme is always last night of freedom.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Tommy man, good to see you.” Jay clapped the blond’s shoulder causing him to jump.

“Dude come on you have the worst timing ever.” He huffed after looking up to see Jay standing above him.

“Awe, you know that’s not true. You love seeing me.” There was an obvious teasing tone in Jay’s voice.

“As much as a mouse loves to see a cat.” Tommy rolled his eyes.

“You don’t mean that.” Jay acted hurt.

“What do you want?” You could see the nervous expression in Tommy’s features.

“My fiancée deserves a dance.” Jay held his hand out to you, but you looked at it skeptically.

“Fiancée? Dude, nice!” Tommy held up a hand after letting his eyes roam down the length of you, Jay let out a loud laugh high-fiving him. Wanting nothing more than to be out of the kid’s presence you grabbed ahold of Jay’s still outstretched hand letting him lead you out onto the dance floor after he warned the young kid to stay out of trouble.

“You know we don’t actually have to dance. He’s bothering some other girl now.” You watched frat boy, Tommy, try to flirt with a younger brunette girl who seemed to be falling for it. Jay pulled you closer towards him, hands falling to your hips in an attempt to loosen you up.

“You think I’m going to let you go through your entire bachelorette party without dancing?”

“They put you up to this didn’t they?” You nodded to where your friends were dancing with Kevin and Cody, clearly much drunker than you.

“No, I have my own selfish reasons for bringing you out here.” With every minute your body temperature steadily increased. Your hands were resting against his biceps, unable to believe how solid he felt pressed against you now. Your mind couldn’t help but wander, thinking about how easy it would be for him to manhandle you. How easy it would be for him to throw you against a wall and do whatever he wanted to you. Thinking back to Kevin’s picture earlier and how you would gladly break the law if it meant Jay would arrest you wearing one of those vests. In an attempt to shut your mind up you changed the subject, “So, how do you know Tommy?”

“Met him while working on a case last year. He’s a good kid, he just got mixed in with some bad people.” Jay shrugged.

“You run into a lot of those?” You asked, but regretted it when Jay’s face fell.

“Unfortunately, it’s easy for kids to be manipulated, and there’s a lot of people in this world, a lot of people in Chicago, who are only concerned about their best interest. They don’t care who’s lives they mess up in the process.” He sighed.

“Good kid or not I appreciate you saving me from his roaming eyes.” You laughed, but Jay had an intensity in his gaze.

“Believe me when I say I liked his roaming eyes less than you did.” His jaw set with a look you had seen a million times in your years together, obvious jealously.

“You sayin I don’t deserve to be looked at?” A shiver ran down your spine when his own eyes traveled down the length of your body.

“Only by the right people.” His voice was gruff, breath tickling your ear. You were pressed up against him now, the other people dancing around you leaving you little room. Loud music urging you to lean closer in order to hear his words.

“How’d you get so good at this? You used to have zero rhythm.” Remembering how stiff and off rhythm he moved at prom. However, tonight his hips were quickly moving to the beat of the song, gripping your waist to ensure you kept in time with him.

“I’ve been in a lot of clubs while undercover. You learn to adapt.” Your body was on fire, swallowing a moan when he discreetly pressed his thigh harder between your legs, a clear hardness in his jeans now pressing against your hip. “I knew you’d look good in this.” He smirked, appreciating the red dress, recognizing it from earlier in the week, hands moving down your torso to the outside of your thighs, fingers digging in.

“Jay.” You warned, but it came out as a whimper instead, hips involuntarily pressing down hard against his thigh, you had zero doubt that if he had slipped a hand between your legs right now he would find a puddle. You were a stubborn person, calm and laidback, strong in many ways, but if there was anything you had discovered in your younger days it was that you had one weakness, and as you stood in the middle of the dance floor, unashamedly grinding against him, the glitter from your Bride to be sash covering the front of his shirt you learned that you would never be able to overcome the weakness that is Jay Halstead. He was your Achilles heel, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“[Y/N].” A needy groan escaped his lips. If you weren’t already positive he was enjoying this before you had no qualms now, bulge evident against the denim. A knot was embarrassingly beginning to form in the pit of your stomach when a tap against your shoulder startled you into reality. Taking a step back from Jay, Carson looked between you two intently. You couldn’t decipher the look between accusing or approving. Maybe a little bit of both.

“The bartender cut off Thing 1 and Thing 2,” he gestured to where Emily and Sydney stood loudly laughing, “and everyone is hungry. Wanna wrap this night up the old fashion way?”

You and your friends had a lot of traditions over the years. Labor Day barbques at Emily’s camp, birthday celebrations, secret Santa at Christmas, but none were more prominent than your drunken pizza parties. Every single drunken escapade ended with everyone in Vanessa’s basement eating pizza and watching Forrest Gump. Why Forrrest Gump? You had no idea. Nobody could remember why that became the go to move, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t very often that the movie played the whole way through. More times than not people ended up passed out throughout various places in the basement, having just puked up the pizza they ate, but you were together and that’s the only thing that mattered to each of you.

“Yeah, sure we can go back to my place. Everyone good with rides?” As they discussed DDs you slipped your way over to Kevin and Sydney.

“Hey, let’s roll. We’re going back to Jay’s.” You urged, refusing to get stuck in a vehicle with Jay at the moment, knowing Kevin hadn’t had more than one drink.

“Do you live in a fucking igloo?” You complained to Jay who was seated between you and Carson on the couch an hour later. Further pulling the blanket you had stolen from the back up to your chest. Sydney had changed into an outfit Kevin provided from the trunk of his car and Emily had stopped at her house to change after picking up the pizza. So, you were the only one still dressed in a skimpy dress, sufficiently freezing to death as Jay apparently kept his home at below zero temperatures. You hadn’t realized how tightly you were pressed up against him, seeking out any heat his body had to offer, until you felt his chuckle against your cheek. Pushing up off the couch to go down a hallway.

Seconds later Jay returned with a sweatshirt in his grip, handing it to you.

“Thank you.” You smiled, moving to the bathroom to rid your body of the tight dress pulling the warm hoodie on, basking in the overwhelming scent of Jay. The hem of the sweatshirt ended mid thigh, courtesy of your height difference.

“I think Stephanie still has a grudge.” You heard Carson chuckle as you made your way back to the corner of the couch beside Jay, throwing the blanket back over you and picking your plate up from the coffee table. Wordlessly Jay took a piece of crust off his own plate laying it on yours. Unable to contain the smile and warmth of the familiarity happening around you, you sunk further into the couch picking the scrap up to eat it, enjoying the chaos and jokes quietly. The lights were off and the movie was playing in the background, but conversations and memories were being exchanged. It was without a doubt the only way you would’ve ever wanted your bachelorette party to end. Which was probably a sign in itself.

All Taglist:

@corebore123 @scarletsoldierrr @hehurst23 @beautiful-bunny89 @ingie @halsteadsway @malrunaway @grettiwrites @inlovewith3 @wanniiieeee @que-serasara @dedlund82

Jay Taglist:

@jayxhalsteadx @life-treatments @weepingfestivalmentality @toomuchtv95 @queen-of-arda @sofferderynnp @mrspeacem1nusone @chicago-pd-13 @maddi-bug @nevaehstreater18 @enchantedblackrose @slytherinambitious

Best of Me Taglist:

@iamasimpingh0e @keabbs @scenesofobx

@jlynmulti @notanordinaryprincess95 @mars469

[ouatsnark]

Okay. So.

I don't remember the name of the fic (probably wouldn't put it anyway) but I do remember that it's the one that absolutely made me stop reading fics with Swanqueen in it (which sucks because there's a rare pair I adore that has them in quite a few background fics).

Basically it went like this:

Emma and Hook were dating.

Emma then finds out from Regina about the time Hook tortured her and leaves him. Because 'it was too far'.

And I'm pretty sure it was set seasons after season 2.

And the fic did not at all address the reason Regina was being tortured (and if I remember correctly, Hook wasn't there for most of the torture if not all of it).

And if I remember correctly, Regina pinned the death of Kurt on Greg. Which if is the case, just makes me even more mad remembering the fic.

I don't know if you'll be able to do anything with this but I just needed to rant/ramble about this because the fic just made no sense to me. It could be because I quit half way through.

But yeah. Absolutely wild.

That is one of SwanQueen’s most famous talking points “if Emma knew Hook tortured Regina she’d leave him!” While ignoring the elephants in the room: Graham & Henry. If Emma knew that Regina raped, enslaved then murdered Graham when she could no longer control him, would Emma not see justice served? What if the show had acknowledged the years of child abuse that Regina inflicted on Henry? What about the fact that Regina herself has tortured people? Is that OK because she’s a woman? How are these NOT lines too far?

Emma should’ve banned Regina from their lives. But I am forgetting that Regina stans refuse to acknowledge how vile their queen is by either putting their heads in the sand or blaming her actions on everyone else just as the show wrongly taught them that personal responsibility isn’t a thing if you’re a beautiful woman crying about their life. In reality Emma should see Regina’s torture as justice seeing that Regina never paid for a thing she ever did.

I did talk about this in my PSA: Hook didn’t torture Regina post. You are correct that Hook was not there for the torture. She had just tried to kill him so he left her to go hunt for Rumple. He did not participate but he also didn’t help her. It’s not surprising me if the fic didn’t address why Regina was being tortured because her apologists refuse to accept the facts: Regina was being tortured by her victim for killing his father. The show does a good job of glossing over that too and making Regina the victim so you cant fully blame their ignorance on them.

I don’t remember if Regina blamed Greg/Owen for his father’s death but it wouldn’t surprise me. She also throws the whole thing back in Killian’s face yet no one mentions the fact that she’d just tried to kill him and was trying to kill everyone else at the time. But we cant have that, can we? Regina is just an innocent little smol bean. Bleh.

P.S. I think Emma did know because of the look she gives Killian when Regina brings it up in season 3. What now Regina Apologists??

[roobylavender]

do you believe Bruce is emotionally abusive? ik fans prioritise physical abuse and ultimately ignore emotional abuse tactics like parentification etc because it’s not “that bad”. I don’t believe Dick ever resents Bruce for letting him be robin (he’s grateful for it) , but in ntt he mostly resents him for being emotionally closed off, and rejecting him as a partner. Bruce worries for his kids safety so he pushes the whole “if you’re not perfect you’re dead” mentality onto Dick which ultimately is harmful to him. He’ll never regret being a hero but the rift between the two isn’t just a “we want different things” scenario but more that they’re incapable of giving the other what they want.

bruce being emotionally closed off from dick is what’s revisionist about that version of canon though. i think bruce can be bad at communicating sometimes esp when he’s deeply pained (like in knightfall, for example) but for the most part he and dick are shown to have great communication for decades before new teen titans and the adjacent post crisis starlin canon starts to rewrite that dynamic into something else entirely. per that version of canon i do believe he’s emotionally abusive but it’s not a version of canon i particularly appreciate bc it requires overriding the dynamic they had previously where they could certainly be prone to disagree at times but bruce was nonetheless willing to have an open and understanding conversation with dick about whatever the disagreement was. even the whole idea that bruce is responsible for dick believing that he has to be perfect or he has to be dead is one that new teen titans cements (or that issue of batman where bruce makes dick quit and jason is introduced thereafter)

i get that it’s easy to take new teen titans as gospel bc it is in essence the textbook source for dick but i think there should be some awareness too of how it twists that relationship between them and not necessarily for the better. i’m not opposed to bruce having faults he has to answer for. i absolutely agree he’s not cognizant enough of the complexes dick develops as a result of wanting to be seen as an equal, and thereby can’t realize the effect it has on dick for him to still be protective and fearful even if it’s ultimately out of goodwill and love. and there’s also the fact that even if he gives dick the space he desires to lead his own life it doesn’t mean he should be hesitant to reach out bc he’s afraid he’ll overstep by doing so, as a parent he should reaffirm his love for dick regularly regardless of knowing he might get some pushback bc dick is growing into his own (again, knightfall is a really superb example of this). but i also think those are tensions you can wholeheartedly explore without rendering bruce into a controlling and abusive figure, and i’m not sure who it benefits to write bruce as such in the long run

some of dick’s problems have to be his own, and he’ll never escape bruce’s shadow if the only source point of issues in his life is his relationship with bruce. that’s something i would actually apply to the robins at large. hardly any of them are allowed to explore problems entirely unique to themselves and i think that’s in large part bc writers simultaneously portray a mildly to explicitly abusive bruce at their leisure while refusing to ever actually address the elephant in the room that is literally of their own creation. a lot of people believe the bruce shouldn’t be an abuser argument is framed entirely as a resistance to bruce’s character assassination and for me i can admit that’s part of it, but a more pertinent part of it should also be the fact that bruce being written as an abuser is what truly chains his children to him forever to the point that they can never grow beyond that abuse bc writers refuse to allow them to. imagine the problems the robins could be addressing individually in their lives if not everything came down to them being fucked up bc that’s the way bruce raised them or failed to thereby. there’s a lot about the robins as individuals that’s deeply interesting and i think it’s not just a disservice to bruce but to them as well to write the relationships this way bc it obscures their own agency and ability to be explored for more than a haunted legacy narrative

[spicyhamsamson]

Finished Bayonetta 3 and I might as well give a review of it

I’m giving it a tag but if you’re seeing this anyway and still don’t want to be spoiled, this will contain spoilers for Bayonetta 3.

First off, how’s that gameplay? Is it fun?

…I mean, it’s a fucking Platinum game, of course the gameplay’s fun. The combat’s the same as ever: Really fucking good. The new weapons are super unique and all have a really good, distinct feel. I’m a huge fan of the new traversal abilities with each weapon, especially the yo-yo.(oh, what a surprise, the Spider-Man fan likes the weapon that lets you web-swing and wall crawl). I will say I miss being able to combine weapons, but if that trade off is required, I’d say it’s worth it. The new demon slave mechanic took a bit to get used to, but once I got the hang of it, I really enjoyed it.

Jeanne’s side missions are alright. Really not too much to say about them, they’re really just mini games.

Viola’s gameplay is pretty fun, and I liked the feel of both her sword and hand to hand combat. Wish the parrying worked more like Metal Gear Rising, it being on the same button as the rush down is…awkward, especially when I’m so used to the trigger dodge being my main “button that makes me not get hurt”, so the muscle memory makes it even more awkward.

And on the other hand, the story.

Okay, here’s the part that’s been… not as positively received across the board. This story is mixed, imo. There are moments in this story where I definitely thought “oh this is fucking awesome, I love this”. But there were also a lot of moments that left me confused or even outright disappointed.

The alternate Bayonettas fucking rocked. I loved each one of them doing stupid bullshit, and I loved how unique they all seemed, even though they’re literally all the same person.

I was mixed on Viola as a character, tbh. I liked her personality(characters who swear casually are cool), and her design rocks. But on the other hand, I saw her twist coming from a mile away, and I’m…not exactly sure what they were going for with her, tonally. In one scene, I’m supposed to take her completely seriously, but in another, she does a looney toons “looking down and realizing they’re about to fall” gag(not making that up, that genuinely happens). I’m not saying you can’t have a character be in both funny scenes and serious scenes, but I feel like this is literally going to the extremes with both, and it’s a bit much. Cheshire fucking rocks, though. Love that guy. What a freak.

Luka’s new werewolf thing was interesting, but fuck, it is not fleshed out enough. It just comes outta nowhere. There’s a bit of stuff involving alternate Lukas being involved, but we only see one alternate version of him across the whole story. If you wanna make Luka more important, fuckin’ commit to it, don’t half ass it like this.

And…I guess we should address the elephant in the room. A lot of people have talked about the ending, specifically with how Luka’s involved. So I might as well give my thoughts on it. To start off, I don’t think it’s necessarily a problem that Bayonetta ends up with a guy, or even that that guy is Luka. Like…sure, it’s disappointing for everyone who wanted Bayo and Jeanne to get together, but Bayonetta basically outright says she wants to fuck Luka during the first game, and it’s not like Luka’s flirting was always one-sided around her. She teases him back too, this isn’t completely out of left field. For me, at least, the bigger issue is that it’s weird to see Bayonetta get into a serious relationship with any one character. I think of Bayonetta as a character who flirts around a lot, but never really commits to one person, so to go from that to “Bayonetta is destined to be with Luka and they are literally compared to Adam and Eve” out of nowhere is jarring and unnatural imo.

The best character I could use as a comparison is probably Mary Jane Watson(woah, SpicyHamSamson talking about Spider-Man stuff? No wayyyy). MJ, when she first shows up, is a total party girl who flirts with pretty much everyone, but never commits to any specific person for long. Now you may be thinking “Well, hang on a sec, Spicy. Mary Jane ended up falling in love with Peter Parker. That’s committing to a specific person.” And you’re right! But that’s because there’s a specific event that causes Mary Jane to change as a person. And that’s the death of Gwen Stacy, someone both she and Peter cared about very much. Gwen’s death forces MJ to mature, and rather than run away from issues, she makes the decision to stay by Peter’s side and comfort him, as a friend. The tragedy of losing someone they care about brings them closer, and ultimately that leads to them falling in love. And it’s extremely powerful.

Bayonetta doesn’t do that, she just goes from flirting around to “destined to be with Luka forever”. And that just doesn’t work, because it comes out of nowhere. There’s no build up to it, it just happens. And that’s not good storytelling. Hell, Bayonetta and Luka barely interact during this game until the last few levels. If you’re gonna push a romance with some characters, at least show that development. Still, could’ve been worse.

And on a larger scale, the ending of this game just…clashes with the rest of the series tonally. Like, I get it, it’s meant to be bittersweet. But that just doesn’t feel right here. If this has to be Cereza’s swan song, sure. It should be a little bittersweet. But this is Bayonetta we’re talking about. This woman should be going out with a BANG. An encore of her most spectacular display of stupid badass bullshit that’ll blow you out of your seats and into a wall. One of the first things we as an audience saw this character do was suplex 15 angels at the same time. In the second game, her first action scene had her ripping her dress when she KICKS A JET INTO THE SKY. Bayo’s last stand here was really disappointing, especially because they had some really cool shit with the Bayonettas from the other two games showing up and then fucking FUSING with main Bayonetta? Like, that shit was BADASS.

And then they barely do anything with it.

Come ON, you guys, I know you can do better than that! Have all three Bayonettas summon their own Madama Butterfly’s and have them play fuckin’ basketball with the final boss! Let me see Madama Butterfly DUNK a motherfucker.

This is Bayonetta’s farewell tour, and frankly, her final performance just doesn’t seem to hit the way it should. Which is disappointing, because they’re not really gonna get a chance to redo that.

With all that said, I’d say the story is still enjoyable. It’s not great, but with a few exceptions, you won’t be miserable sitting through it.

That being said, if you’re getting this game, it’s probably for the gameplay, and if you’re interested in that, I’d definitely recommend it.

[quantifiableconnections]

I just finished watching Skam (Norway) today and let’s just say I’m not kidding when I say this is one of the BEST shows I’ve ever watched. I did take a lot of time to watch all the seasons (spanning over one year) but I enjoyed each and every moment of it. Well, some a little less than others. Hence, I have some thoughts and please forgive my yapping.

Okay so Season 1. I actually liked it quite a lot. The acting was good, and it gave a nice start to the whole story.

The getting together of the girls was the highlight obviously, but I really liked the portrayal of Eva in this, as a kind of lost teenager who doesn’t have a lot of direction in her life and is mostly dependent on her boyfriend.

I did think the Isak plot line in this was a little badly done, but I guess it was necessary for the big reveal in the end.

I think the fact that Eva was able to resolve things with Ingrid was very unrealistic, considering they had literally been besties and she basically stole her man. But really idk.

Talking about Jonas, he was majorly gaslighting Eva during the season so I think their relationship was a little immature. Classic right person wrong time.

Penetrator Chris is SO HOT. Especially in that mf smoky eye makeup istg. But he’s a giant asshole and we do not support him.

Season 2. Okay. First let’s start with the showstealer. Eskild my man. I don’t think Eskild is appreciated enough in the whole series but I absolutely love him!! He is so mature, and is such a good friend. I love the dynamic between him and Noora and even him and Linn.

Now let’s address the elephant in the room because why not? I did not like Noorhelm all that much. William never had much of a character development and we never get to see him expressing a lot of emotions. I forever stand by the opinion that Noora was too good for him. Many people talk about William’s support of Noora’s decision to not have sex, but really, that’s like settling for the bare minimum that can be expected from a decent person.

I think the dickhead of a brother had more personality than William. So in conclusion, season 2 did not really impress me but I’d watch it again for Eskild.

Eva hooking up with Chris?? The guy she cheated on her ex with? Can’t say I like this.

Season 3 is SO well done. There’s no question about it. I love Isak’s slow acceptance of his sexuality. From being a closeted gay guy who made homophobic comments to fit in, to a happy and out gay guy in a relationship.

Absolutely adore the boys. Jonas, Mahdi, Magnus. I especially loved Magnus and his take on the whole situation.

Eskild coming in and stealing the show yet again?!!

Emma and Sonja are VICTIMS. As much as I love Evak, they fucked their girlfriends over pretty bad and I hate them for it. Also, Emma is soooooooooo pretty.

The story of Even. His whole character portrayal. The picturisation of his mental issues. Chef’s kiss.

Minute by minute??? Are you trying to kill me here??? It is SO wholesome and they both have matured so much, especially Isak, dealing with his sexuality plus his boyfriend’s mental issues so delicately.

Their chemistry. Their chemistry. Their chemistry.

Sonja should NOT have apologised.

Overall, this season is tied with the fourth as my favourite.

Season 4. Sana is my favourite character hands down. She is portrayed so well, we see all her insecurities, beliefs so beautifully.

Yousana is my favourite couple. Evak is a close second.

The understanding between them, the intellectual conversations, the level of maturity. Just wondrous.

I did think the whole situation with the russ bus was overdone. I never really understood why Sana was so involved with it in the first place. This could easily have been summed up in one episode leaving time for more Yousana development.

Yousef is such a green flag omg. He’s literally the cutest out of all skam boys( my opinion). I just wish he had more screen time.

Elias and Sana??? Whatever bits and pieces we got to see of their relationship were GOLD.

I. Love. My. Girls. So. Much. I just wish Sana was shown interacting more with all of them, not just Noora. Also Yousef and Noora working together to thaw Sana??

I canNOT stress this enough. Yousef and Sana are the best couple ( besides Evak obviously). The chemistry, the flirting, everything was done so right that it got me blushing furiously through the screen. And they managed to do all this without showing any kind of physical contact. Just lovely. The way they counter each other’s opinions with such delicacy and respect makes me believe that they are definitely going to last.

The situation with Even and Mikael and all the balloon squad boys should have been given more screen time.

The way Sana’s faith and her relationship with her family were handled are commendable. We see the dilemma, the cogs of her brain working, and how she accepts her fate and doesn’t sway from her beliefs. I strongly believe that her and Yousef will handle their differences maturely and still come out to be a strong couple.

I SWEAR SHE AND I ARE SOULMATES?????? Cutest shit I’ve ever seen.

Sana and Isak’s friendship means so much to me. In Season 3, we see her rising above her opinions and respecting homosexuality. Here we see Isak figuring Sana out and helping her see beyond her strong opinions. And wdym Sana??? You are best buds.

Okay. The last episode. I absolutely loved it. It’s one of the best season finales I’ve ever watched. We go into the lives of all the girls and some of the guys too. I literally tested up at the Eskild and Linn part!!( idk why they still address Chris as penetrator Chris when his face is literally on the screen like people we know it’s not our girl?? Idk I find it extremely funny). I wish they had shown more of Vilde and Chris’ friendship in the past and not just the final episode. The Even part was absolutely incredible. His insecurities, his fears, and we see him pacifying Isak and not the other way around. Yousef texting Sana from Turkey?? And saying he’ll take her there?? My head melted.

I literally don’t think Noorhelm is going to last long even though they have reconciled. Something just seems off. Joneva is back??? Didn’t really like the buildup but I guess they could be a good couple as they are more mature than the last time.

Okay. So that sums it up more or less. My favourite was season 4, closely followed by season 3. My favourite characters were Sana and Eskild, they were just so amazing. I related to Sana fiercely all through the show.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk. Feel free to give your own opinions please!!!!

[honestlywtfisgoingon]

When You Weren’t Looking — pt. 4/?

PROFESSOR!OBI-WAN X READER

PART 3

an au where you and you literature professor realize you both have things to learn about love, and yourselves, outside of class. (as we all know, this can only be done through a big scoop of angst and a smutty cherry on top)

description: you think that maybe being open to the idea of you and obi-wan isn’t such a terrible idea after all…lmao

warnings: language, angst, minimal editing, obi doing anything but being perfect

a/n: i’m ngl i don’t rly like this chapter but it’s a good setup for when it gets rly good…like RLY good ;)

words: 2,388

It was your first meeting of the week with Professor Kenobi— Obi-Wan, as he now asked you to call him. Truthfully, you were a bit nervous but also excited. He had started to see you as another adult rather than his student and you hoped he would continue to do so. Maybe, someday, he might see you as something even more.

Those were thoughts you had been pushing away for weeks now, but after the bar, you let yourself explore those ideas a bit more, well, maybe more than a bit. That was what you had intended to do, but you didn’t realize that letting those thoughts trickle out would make way for all of them to flood past the dam you had built. There was ample material for your daydreams since the weekend: the way he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you or his small compliments, but the moment you replayed the most was when he ran back to you before leaving just to tell you how wonderful you were, followed by him placing a kiss to your knuckles. his actions had given you more confidence and a bit of…hope. Still, you doubted it would ever happen, but you would let yourself indulge, maybe even flirt a bit.

it couldn’t hurt, right?

But that’s the thing, it could hurt, and it did.

When he walked in through the door, he brought a tenseness with him, the very opposite of what you expected. You couldn’t quite place it, but you could feel it.

“Hello,” you greeted him normally, hoping that everything would ease if you just went on as usual.

“Hello,” he said with a tight smile. He was rigid as he made his way to his side of the desk, pulling out his chair in a short straight movement. Only once he sat down did he behave less mechanically, letting out a small breath and opening up his laptop. It was the sort of reaction you have when you’re playing hide and seek and you’re so close to being caught, but you make it through undetected, filled with quiet but very momentary relief. The cycle would repeat, and the anxiety of being exposed would take over again. At the current moment, your anxiety was running rampant.

did I make him uncomfortable at the bar? is he embarrassed? should I be embarrassed?

your brows were furrowed and your chin was propped up on your fist. The realization of how angry you must’ve looked made you relax your expression and try to focus on what you came here for, which was work, of course, nothing else, nothing with silky auburn hair and a British accent. Leaning back, your eyes passed over a certain someone that just so happened to have silky auburn hair and a British accent, who you noticed was mirroring how you looked just a moment ago. when he broke his trance he looked up at you who quickly and poorly tried to cover up the fact that you were already staring.

“I feel as though there’s something we must discuss,” he spoke in such a formal tone. His hands were clasped together on the table and there was a look in his eye you couldn’t quite describe.

“What about?” you responded a moment later as though you had to break your focus from whatever productive task you were pretending to do. If you played a little dumb, he might feel the need to make it clear what he was thinking.

“y/n, I just…oh please don’t let me address the elephant in the room alone,” he pleaded. He knew you better by now, and you weren’t dumb. You couldn’t decide how to feel about that. It meant your attempt at forcing him to explain more had failed, but it was also nice to know he didn’t believe you were an idiot. You also weren’t going to torture the man by pretending any further.

“Friday?” it was pretty clear by now that that’s what had been sucking the air out of the room.

“Yes,” he answered quickly, glad that he didn’t have to bring it up all alone. “It’s just that…well I’d like to apologize. My behavior was completely out of bounds,”

“Professor, please don’t apologize,” you opted to call him his formal title, thinking that perhaps he had only meant it when he was drunk. the sadness you felt over that was pushed aside by concern once you saw how just how strong his guilt was on his face. it made you want to run your hands over his features softly, just until his eyes and his forehead became peaceful again under your touch.

it was so predictable. you should’ve known you would get attached in a span of only days, and yet you let yourself go. sure it was only to the idea of him, but it didn’t make you feel better.

“At the bar,” he took a breath to compose himself before continuing, “I’m sorry. It was completely unacceptable of me, and embarrassing to think about if I’m being honest.

oh

“I never should have let myself go like that and I was very forward with things I didn’t mean,” he had hoped for a quick answer, each moment of this conversation feeling like an hour in his head.

He got his wish. “‘Didn’t mean?’”you let slip out. You didn’t feel hopeful, you felt foolish. The look in his eye that your couldn’t quite place earlier could be quite plainly identified: regret

“Well, I did mean it when I said you could call me Obi-Wan,”

ah yes, that makes me feel so much better.

There was silence.

“Please, will you grant me forgiveness? I sincerely apologize for my unprofessionalism,” he lowered his head. It really was sincere as the words almost seemed to hurt him to say.

You didn’t know how right you were. It hurt him to hurt you, to lie to your face as he knew very well that he had meant every word he said that night.

this is for the better, dear one

“of course professor,”

why am I being so passive-aggressive?

You weren’t mad about the bar, but at the things he was saying now. There wasn’t anything particularly wrong with his apology, in fact, you could see where he was coming from. Usually, you could control your reactions, never allowing anything to get to you, and yet, everything he did seemed to get to you in one way or another. He had such an effect on you, it didn’t matter if it was positively or negatively. This time though, it was quite clear to both of you that it was negative.

“I can’t help but feel as though I’m not actually forgiven,” he sighed.

I can forgive him, but that would only be for his sake. He’s not a total asshole after all, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t speak my mind.

“It’s just that, well, you had told me that you valued our time together, or something along those lines. I don’t know why, it’s silly of me I guess, but it meant something to me,” your voice had dropped, causing him to step forward in order to hear you, and the last thing you needed was to be closer to him.

“Darling I meant it,” your professor was almost begging you to believe him. He wore a look of genuine sadness that quickly retreated behind a blank one as he covered up his emotions, not unlike the way you had just done. “I do think our time was valuable. I have seen your growth firsthand, therefore I don’t think there is a need for you to finish your essay now. Not to worry, I will still be raising your grade and giving you the extra credit I promised in exchange for your help,” The way he said it, it was all so…definitive. How do you respond to that? Answer: you don’t, so you didn’t. Another round of silence fell over you two, this time far more uncomfortable for him as he fidgeted every so slightly.

“So what does that mean for my position?” you asked only out of mercy for his nails, which he had been picking at.

“Position?”

“Well, my help. After classes,”

“As I said, there is no need. You’ll be happy to have your time back I presume,” he tried to avoid making any of it sound harsher, but no matter what he tried, the words were still the same.

“Oh, um, yes. Thank you very much professor,” he just nodded at you. He didn’t speak, not wanting to chance to say something that could possibly make this even more painful. Another round of silence; but it was the last. It had effectively ended the conversation.

You stood there for a second even though you had nothing to say, finally processing the reality of what had happened, and you decided that it sucked. Unlike a few weeks ago, when you walked out of his office and down the hall, you weren’t smiling.

Padme and Anakin are staff too but they don’t get hung up on “professionalism shit”…or use it as an excuse. But hey, just because Obi—Professor Kenobi, decided to block me out doesn’t mean I have to do the same to them.

It was true, they weren’t him, plus you liked them, and honestly, there weren’t many people that you liked.

Muscle memory guided you down the path that you always took to and from his office, the other end being the parking structure. It was both the quickest and most scenic route, passing straight through the campus and the quad. Not having to focus on your steps meant you had more than enough space in your mind to sift through everything that concerned the stupid man with carrot hair and a silly accent.

The thing that interrupted your thoughts was the change in temperature and the fluttering of the lighting. You looked up to see the large tree providing you sudden shade and filtering the sunlight, leaves moving in the wind to create funny little spots on the concrete. You realized how tense you were and sat on a bench that happened to be right next to you, taking a deep breath. It didn’t do as much for your brain as it did for your body, all those thoughts rushing back. After a moment of having your head propped up the hand held up by an elbow on your knee, brows furrowed, looking very uncannily like a statue you once saw, “The Thinker”, you decided on a word to describe how you felt—

“Hey are you ok?” you heard above you. Looking up you squinted at someone, a ray of sun was behind him, offering only a view of his silhouette and bright light in your eye.

“What?” you answered in a rather short tone.

“I know I don’t know you, I’ve just seen you in my lit. class before, but I figured someone should ask,” the man shrugged. You thought you just couldn’t make out who it was because of the lighting, but he just confirmed that he really was a stranger, and that didn’t exactly make you react any better.

“Ask what?”

“Well, are you good? Sometimes nobody asks,” you couldn’t deny that there was something about him. He seemed to genuinely care.

“And a stranger’s the one to do it?” leaning back, you appraised him; tall, lean, athletic, but what stood out the most to you was how his hair was a dark brown except for the streak of gold that hung in his eye just now. It might’ve just been dye, but it looked nice on him. In fact, you were noticing that most things about him looked nice.

“We’re not strangers if we sit in the same room together for 7 hours a week,” he reasoned, which only caused you to lift a brow at him.

“you forgot about the 70 people in between us, you scoffed, but in a gentle and more joking manner than how you spoke a bit ago.

“Well if I knew your name they wouldn’t even be a factor,” smooth.

“Alright, it’s y/n. Are we going to be best friends now?” you said with playful sarcasm. He did act as though you and he were closer than you were.

“Ferus. Olin. And yes, but only out of pity,” your brows were still raised, but the corner of your lip began to quirk up. he was kind of…funny.

“for me or you?” you quipped.

He paused, pretending to ponder. “We could be partners instead. For Kenobi’s group project,”

“Oh shit,” you had forgotten about that project, too focused on the one who was going to be grading them.

“Hey, sorry, didn’t mean to stress you out there. You’re alright though, it’s still a few weeks away. Still, you know what he’s like,” Ferus waved his hand casually.

“‘what he’s like?” you repeated his words back to him, not knowing what he was implying, but you were prepared to defend him.

Professor Kenobi might be weird and confusing, but there’s no way you can say he’s not amazing…an amazing teacher of course. exactly what I meant.

“I just mean he has high expectations. but I haven’t found anyone else out of the 70 either,” you relaxed at his response about Obi-Wan.

“ok, yeah why not?” you agreed because, well, Ferus wasn’t wrong, and you were planning on earning an A+ from Professor Kenobi. You didn’t know if you wanted to show him you were unaffected and intelligent in your own right, or if you wanted his attention and approval.

Ferus pulled out his phone, leaving you to wonder why he suddenly decided to text someone in the middle of a conversation. You realized once he had extended it to you that he had been unlocking it and creating a contact for you. He had already put in your name but there was still a space for you to fill it with your number.

“For academic purposes only,” he winked. You couldn’t deny you were a bit taken aback.

“It better be,” you joked as you handed it back to him once you were done. All he did was smile at you.

You didn’t remember what word you were going to use to describe how you felt before because now you felt something else.

PART 5

[ratcatcher0325]

Re: the OC ask game. We should like to know if Alexander has ever been kissed.

Hello, @perpetualsarcasmmachine , it’s Alexander… obviously. I’d hope you knew that already seeing as that’s the premise of this whole ridiculous thing…but… you can never underestimate the pervasive nature of general stupidity.

Uh… wow… okay. I don’t see how this question is important or relevant to anything… I don’t see how that’s anyone’s business. Why are you so interested anyway? I’m a scholar and a learned gentleman, is that not enough for you?

However, it is my obligation per the rules of this so-called “game” (aren’t games supposed to be fun??) that I must, much to my chagrin, be straightforward with you.

So…. To answer your question… well… I have… not.

My upbringing didn’t exactly give me many opportunities to… fraternize with potential candidates for that sort of… social activity.

So yes, more to the point, in all my brilliance, years of study and impressive accomplishments, you’ve managed to find the one area in which I may be, dare I say it, rather… inexperienced.

Frankly, I’m impressed you managed to find one of the few things in life I’m not considered a resounding expert and scholar on. So, hats off to you, I suppose?

And, in case you’re wondering, no… I’m not at all interested in changing the status of that. It’s not important, nor worth my time. I’m a busy man with many more significant things to occupy my attention. And, just to address the other elephant in the room, I’m certainly not considering Natalie to be an avenue for such an activity. She’s far too enthusiastic, loud and, frankly, annoying. Have you heard her singing? It’s abominable!

Although, I must say her culinary skills are impressive, and I quite appreciate how she does her level best to look out for me. She’s gotten much better at being quite gentle. On occasion, I don’t even mind it when she holds me or picks me up. Not that I need anyone’s help. Besides... I don’t think of her that way, anyway. Nor have I. At any point. Ever. So. That’s never going to happen. She’s a means to an end. That’s all. Period. End of statement.

Well then, I hope this answers your question, throughly.

Next time, consider asking me about my actual life’s work rather than needling into my deeply personal backstory? Just food for thought. Take it as you will.

In any case, I wish you well.

Yours Truly,

Alexander

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

Should Abigail Leave Ben? Part 1: Solid Beginnings

Since we’re digging into Book of Secrets now, we should address the elephant in the room: Should Abigail leave Ben?

I’ll give you my short answer first:

Based on National Treasure alone: no Including Book of Secrets: YES

Let’s explore.

National Treasure

The main reason I think they work for me—both as a couple and as a subplot—has to do with setup.

The movie goes out of its way to demonstrate that they’re interested in each other before Abigail gets roped into the adventure. This foundation confirms, for me anyway, that their relationship is built on something deeper than adrenaline and trauma.

In the first movie. The same can absolutely not be said for Book of Secrets, but that will be Part 2. Jk that will now be Part 3.

There is a lot of plot happening as we set up for the heist, but National Treasure still takes the time to devote three different moments toward establishing Ben and Abigail’s mutual interests, and especially Abigail’s interest in Ben.

That’s important to me, because in the worst version of these leading couple obligatory romances, the guy likes the girl because she’s hot, and the girl likes the guy because he’s the protagonist.

Abigail’s clear, repeated interest in Ben as an eccentric dork and kindred spirit, not an action hero or treasure hunter, is what makes their future relationship believable to me.

Let’s take each scene in turn.

More below ↓

Scene 1 - First Meeting

In the scene where Ben and Abigail first meet, their interest in each other is clear from the start, but it’s not necessarily romantic interest. They’re immediately fascinated by each other as people, not as (only) potential partners.

Remember, it’s Riley who first comments on Abigail’s appearance, not Ben. Riley is the one who says:

RILEY Being kept down by the man. (beat) A very cute man.

It’s Riley again who brings up Abigail’s appearance at the gala. When Ben finds her, Riley asks over the comm:

RILEY Is that that hot girl? How does she look?

All this to say that it’s Riley, not Ben, who seems to find Abigail hot/attractive, and her physical appearance is the primary trait that he notices and identifies her by. (At least until after the heist, when he calls her the “mean Declaration lady.”)

Ben makes no comment on her appearance throughout the whole movie.

He doesn't answer because he can't given that Abigail is right in front of him and would know he was talking over a comm, so we can't know for sure how he would reply.

This if the first green flag for me, because it suggests that he sees her as much more than a hot prize or trophy. Actually, I don’t think it ever occurred to Ben to look at her that way. More on that later.

We already dug into the beginning of the meeting scene in the article on Abigail’s Accent. As I note there:

Ben is eternally curious, not just about history, but about Abigail as well. He has yet to realize that she is a kindred spirit or someone willing(ish) to help them save the Declaration, and yet he’s already fascinated by her. The fact that his first guess is Pennsylvania Dutch speaks to his love of American history, and the people who make it up, but I really love how his immediate interest in Abigail isn’t related to the Declaration at all. It’s not even really about history; it’s about her. This sets a foundation for their soon-to-be-budding romance that is rooted in more than the adventure they’re about to go on together. Ben doesn’t have to ask about her accent for the purposes of saving the Declaration; he simply wants to know.

Ben is immediately intrigued by her as a person, from her accent to her collection of George Washington’s campaign buttons.

And critically important for me, that interest is mutual.

When Ben asks for

BEN (CONT’D) “the privilege of examining the document…”

Abigail can’t help but tilt her head in fascination, because that’s not what she was expecting him to say. She hasn’t deduced that they’re treasure hunters yet, but they come in with this outlandish claim about someone stealing the Declaration of Independence and this guy whats to…examine it? Do what she does, sitting in a clean room looking at old parchment under a microscope? It catches her by surprise.

And Ben throws that head tilt right back at her without missing a beat. He’s fascinated that she’s fascinated. His head tilt seems to answer, “Of course I’d want to do what you do. What you do is genuinely interesting to me.”

P.S. how do y'all's gifs not look like shit??

Then we get the delightfully awkward exchange of Ben trying very hard not to tell Abigail what they’re looking for while he has to sit there and tell Abigail what they’re looking for.

And she matches him at every turn. Every vaguely Ben offers, Abigail immediately translates back into plain English.

Now, I don’t think he’s intentionally trying to trick her in this scene. I don’t think it ever crossed Ben’s mind that a high-ranking conservator at the National Archives would not know the word “cartograph.” I think he’s simply trying to spare himself the embarrassment of having to say “We’re looking for an invisible treasure map” to her face.

What’s important to me is that she does not spare him that embarrassment at any point. Every toss he sends her, she swats back down with a very deadpan expression. She’s also not letting him get away with anything. His charm/historical knowledge/puzzle-based intelligence does not really work on her. She plays at his level—at least—and this introduction scene makes that clear to both Ben and the audience from the start.

She also displays remarkable patience and curiosity throughout this scene. Instead of making up her mind at the first implausible thing Ben says, she hears him out. She's skeptical, sure, but in a way that suggests she's judging the guys based on their evidence, not her first reaction.

When Ben finally has to admit it’s an invisible treasure map, Abigail’s first comment isn’t “Get out of my office,” it’s “What lead you to think that?”

ABIGAIL What led you to assume there's this invisible map?

She's a long way from believing them, but she's interested in what lead them here. It’s only when they can’t produce their evidence that she makes the crack about Bigfoot and Ben senses it’s time to go.

And then there’s the smile.

Immediately after the Bigfoot remark, Ben says,

BEN It was nice meeting you.

This is simply a way for him to end this conversation with as little additional humiliation as possible. As he says it, he’s already getting out of his chair and heading for the door. He isn’t waiting for a response, because he’s probably expecting either silence or an insult.

But what Abigail says is:

ABIGAIL Nice to meet you, too.

And she says it with a bashful little smile.

Even if she thinks his claim is crazy, she still seems to think that Ben in an interesting, compelling person.

And I would argue it’s her tone that prompts him to turn around and comment again on the George Washington buttons.

BEN And, you know, that really is a nice collection. Must have taken you a long time to hunt down all that history.

He’s looking for some acknowledgment that even if the quest ends here, he did it. He worked for most of his like to solve the Charlotte puzzle and he did, even if the answer is out of reach.

These final lines don’t help them get closer to the Declaration, and even if he is starting to cook up the plan to seal it, sending Abigail the button would already have worked without this second comment on it.

He’s simply looking for recognition, and connection, from someone who—maybe, just maybe—understands what this search has been like.

And when Abigail smiles back at him again, he starts to find some.

So.

I would contend that even if the movie ended here—if Ben did not steal or otherwise acquire the Declaration, did not find or solve the next clue, did not keep pursuing the Templar Treasure and did not go on to become a famous treasure hunter—Abigail would still probably say yes if Ben came back and asked her out the next week.

There’s a quiet little AU out there where they go out for drinks and Abigail tells him about this crazy attempted robbery during the gala but the guy’s been arrested (how did he know??), and that’s the end of their treasure hunting days. And in that world they still make a solid couple because their relationship is based on something much deeper than adrenaline and gold.

It’s based on mutual curiosity, shared interests, and the camaraderie of someone who, it seems, also knows what it’s like to be the weird kid on the playground.

In Part 2, we'll explore their other pre-heist interactions.

[taizi]

you feel like a stranger in your tale

@natsumeweek 2022 day 3; sacrifice/selfishness

read on ao3

(previous) (next)

x

It’s approaching four o’clock in the morning when they finally go to bed. 

Kitamoto drags the guest futons out of the hall closet and piles them in his bedroom. His hands keep shaking but they all pretend not to notice. There seems to be an unspoken agreement to just pretend, at least for right now. 

Takashi turns the light out before he joins them on the floor, and for a moment he can almost believe it. They shuffle around in the dim glow of Kitamoto’s laptop screen, tugging pillows and duvets around until everyone’s comfortable, like it’s any other sleepover, any other night. Nishimura’s blue and purple face is an elephant in the room that none of them address. 

“What are we watching?” Kitamoto asks, scrolling through Netflix. His computer is on his stomach, the screen tilted forward enough that they can all see without sitting up. 

“Moomin,” Nishimura says immediately.

Takashi’s never heard of it, but Kitamoto agreeably picks the show out of his saved list and plays an episode from the first season seemingly at random. A pleasant animated intro starts—fluffy clouds in the sky above a charming blue house, where a little white creature gazes out the window as though daydreaming. 

It’s absurdly comforting. Takashi practically relaxes against his will. The colors are all spring-time and pastel, and the happy characters run through flower fields and dance together, and Nishimura is humming along to the theme song under his breath. 

They don’t talk. They just lay there together and watch the entire episode, and then the next two that play automatically. When the laptop tips away a little bit, Takashi turns his head and realizes that Kitamoto is fast asleep. 

On Kitamoto’s other side, Nishimura’s eyes are still open, but he’s not watching the cartoon. He’s gazing up at the ceiling, or past it, at something that isn’t really there. 

“Nishimura?” Takashi whispers. 

His friend blinks and glances at him. 

“Are you okay?” He winces the second he says it. What a stupid question. 

“Yeah,” Nishimura says, matching Takashi’s low tone. He must be lying, but it doesn’t sound like he is. Takashi doesn’t know what to think of that. A moment later, Nishimura adds, “I just feel bad. I don’t think I should have called. I ruined everyone’s night.”

Suddenly, Takashi has half an idea why his friends are so exasperated with him all the time. He wants to say what are you talking about?? He wishes Shibata were here to say it, as loud and incredulous as it needed to be said. But that feeling fades quickly, and all it leaves behind is a bewildered kind of sadness. 

“You didn’t ruin anything,” he says. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Nishimura frowns, biting down on the corner of his mouth. He seems to struggle with himself for a minute, and then finally he blurts, “I did, though. I must have, right? I must have done something. Why else would she have been so angry?”

This entire night has felt like an out-of-body experience. Takashi thinks maybe he’ll wake up and have dreamed this whole thing. He remembers having thought that same exact thing when he was younger, when he was sitting in a hospital room with a broken arm, trying to figure out what he’d done to make his great-uncle so mad. It must have been something he did, because great-uncle had been so nice up until that day. He wouldn’t have hurt Takashi unless Takashi was bad.

But now, from the other side, he sees it differently. For the first time ever, he thinks that must not be right. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Takashi says. He’s glad they’re whispering, because if he talks any louder his voice will almost certainly break into a sob. “You didn’t deserve it. I promise.”

Nishimura doesn’t seem convinced, but at least he’s listening. He always listens to Takashi. The gray light of pre-dawn is creeping through the shades at the window, early birds and insects beginning their busy, eager gossip, and Takashi stays awake until he’s certain that Nishimura is finally asleep. 

 ##

The next day, Detective Genta and the woman who had been at the station with them the night before arrive at the apartment to discuss the situation. 

Takashi is only allowed to be here for this conversation by virtue of the wide-eyed look of panic Nishimura got every time someone tried to remove one of his friends from the room. So he sits quietly and tries to be both unobtrusive and a tower of support. He doesn’t know how well he does in either respect.

The situation looks like this: 

Nishimura’s mother has been arrested and his home has been unilaterally deemed as unsafe for him to return to. He has no other immediate family in the area. His older brother is away at university and living in a tiny student housing apartment and has yet to return any of Detective Genta’s calls anyway.

Kitamoto’s mom is adamant that Nishimura will be staying with them. She says that she practically raised him anyway—that as far as she’s concerned, he’s already her kid. 

The woman with Genta introduced herself as Ono Kaede from Child Protection Services, which means Takashi does his absolute level best not to speak to her or sit too close to her or look her in the eye. 

She seems nice, though. She and Genta both accepted a piece of the leftover cake that the rest of them were eating for breakfast without batting an eye. 

“You’re a single-income household, and you have two children already,” Ono says. “Would there be room for Satoru-kun to live comfortably in your apartment full-time? Please understand, as much as you would be willing to make it work out, these are the things I have to consider.”

She’s wearing the same slacks and blouse she was wearing last night, when she tumbled out of bed at midnight to deal with this nightmare, and clearly she hasn’t gotten any rest since. 

But her voice is gentle and endlessly patient. She looks at Nishimura as though she would go a hundred more sleepless nights if that’s what it took to help him feel safe again. 

Takashi finds himself relenting towards her. Anyone who can look at his friend like that isn’t a bad person. 

Kitamoto shuffles in his seat, darting an anxious look at his parents. Next to him, Nishimura is staring down at his lap, twisting and untwisting the fidget tangle that Mana insistently presses into his hands every time she realizes he’s not already holding it. If he’s checked into the conversation at all, he doesn’t show it. 

“Fine,” Kitamoto’s mother says in a very controlled tone of voice that gives away how dearly she would love to start snapping at people left and right, “then we’ll move back into our family house. There’s plenty of space there. Satoru and Atsushi used to share a bedroom when they were kids, but they can have their own rooms now.”

Ono lights up, as though happy to take this solution and run with it as far as it will take them, but as she starts sifting through the stack of paperwork in her lap, Nishimura says, “Wait, no.”

Takashi’s eyes jump to him, the way everyone else’s eyes probably do. 

“You can’t move back to the house, Auntie,” Nishimura says, his tone stricken. “Uncle Hakaru has to be close to the hospital, that’s the whole reason you moved in the first place. You can’t just uproot your whole—your whole family because of me.”

“Satchan,” Kitamoto says, leaning towards him, “you are our family.”

But Nishimura’s expression is one Takashi is unfortunately familiar with. This is him digging his heels in. 

He’s frowning, even though his lip is split and it probably hurts to frown. He’s clearly overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted, but this one thing is clear to him and he latches on. It’s the only thing he can care about right now, so of course he’s going to care about it. 

And Takashi—he gets it. He understands, fundamentally, how it feels to be the one displacing someone’s carefully balanced life. 

How much it hurts to be the reason things have to change. 

How hard it is to carry that weight, day in and day out, of knowing that you ruined someone else’s home just because you don’t have one anymore. 

“Um,” Takashi says, the first thing he’s said since Genta and Ono arrived. Everyone turns to look at him, and he wants to shrink beneath the attention, but he doesn’t. 

He thinks of every single time he sat where Nishimura is sitting, those times when he had no one beside him and nowhere to go, and how often he’d wished he had someone—anyone—to speak up for him. 

So he cobbles together courage and speaks up. 

“My foster parents have a big house,” Takashi says, very slowly, very carefully, before this tentative bravery can desert him entirely. “And they like Nishimura a lot. I was supposed to call home this morning, anyway. So we could—ask them?”

[cheekymoonfilms]

A series of perfectly normal love letters to the 2015 Beck song "Dreams"

By Alastair Craig Originally published on Cheeky Moon

25 November, 2015

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

I’m sorry to bother you. You’re a busy song in heavy rotation, and I’m just a solitary listener with no idea how to begin. This is the first time I have written directly to a piece of music, and for obvious reasons I am not expecting a reply.

You probably don’t remember me on account of being a non-sentient recording. We met last week at Pie Face in Queen Street Mall: me sitting at the wobbly corridor table; you entering the room via cafe speaker.

I still can feel my posture straightening into meerkat-level alertness at the immediacy of your opening chords. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so instantly on the same wavelength as a piece of music; so sure of what a song was going for and capable of.

I can only describe it as an insatiable longing. As if the one-second-per-second rate at which your notes are delivered somehow isn’t enough. This energy has nowhere to go but the following two words: thank you.

I am addressing this letter to Capitol Records in Los Angeles. If it accidentally forwarded to your creator, the singer-songwriter Beck Hanson, I apologise for any confusion.

Yours sincerely, Alastair

***

3 January, 2016

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

Sorry to bother you again. It’s 2am and you’re still running circles around my mind. For my own sanity I need to unpack why.

It’s not just your impressive length (although at 5+ minutes, you certainly give a lot of mileage) but what you do with it: those tender little flourishes to make every second feel worthwhile. The “oh”s between the lines; the “d-d-d-” before “dreams”. You fit pleasure into spaces other songs cannot.

It’s that glorious multi-layered “here we are” harmony at 3:42 — your finest moment — which I’m secretly convinced you added for me and me alone.

It’s the pauses, too; the comfortable silences we share. I really feel I can simply be myself around you, dancing like a dork in my living room without fear of judgement.

What we have here: it feels mutual. I fully accept I may be projecting. It’s late. I should get to bed.

Sweet dreams, sweet Dreams. Alastair

***

5 February, 2016

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

I feel we can be honest with each other by now. Can we please address the elephant in the room?

We need to talk about that little guitar hook at 4:00. It’s a little… showoffy. It brings me back to music lessons as a teenager. This is exactly the kind of thing kids play when they’ve learned the pentatonic scale and want to sound wicked-rad with the distortion on (and oh god, have I been there). It’s not necessary. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone.

I worry this is the music-fan version of some dipshit telling a woman she doesn’t need makeup. And look, if you’re having fun, of course you’re entitled to that. I just have to ask: are you truly doing this for yourself?

You don’t need to answer.

Your friend, Alastair

***

6 February, 2016

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

I turned you off when my wife entered the room, and I’m worried about what that means.

If I go radio silent for a while, please know it’s not you. I have a few things to process.

Talk soon, Alastair

***

11 July, 2016

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

What a special night that was. Like something, well, out of a dream. I was just thinking it had been a while, and there you were, shimmering in the window of Jet Black Cat Records; an aqua-blue vinyl single I could at last physically hold and cherish.

To hear your stripped-back acapella and instrumental mixes on the b-side… I know you don’t just let everyone hear you like that (I can’t find either track on Spotify). It is a privilege to be worthy of that trust.

That sublime “here we are” was even more beautiful than I imagined underneath it all. And — if you can forgive me for ever suggesting otherwise — I can see the guitar bit at 4:00 part of who you are. Love is about hearing the whole song and accepting the complete package.

I hear you. And I love you.

Your most ardent admirer, Alastair

***

15 December, 2016

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

I’m sorry for those Facebook messages last night. Actually, I’m not sure who I could have possibly sent them to. I may owe someone else an apology.

Truly, honestly, I don’t mind that you share a melody with MGMT’s Electric Feel. You never claimed to be original. Maybe you’re a deliberate homage. And what I said about your lyrics; that was out of line. They’re upbeat and unburdened by subtext; exactly what they need to be.

I think we need to take a break. I’m playing you too often. I thought I’d made peace with your showoffy guitar bit at 4:00, but honestly? It’s starting to grate. Again, it’s not you, it’s me.

I’ll be in touch later. Promise. Alastair

***

17 January, 2017

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

Just checking in to say I’m thinking of you. It’s a quiet day here. What are you up to?

:-) Alastair

***

24 August, 2017

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

The track listing for Beck’s Colors album just dropped. I cannot wait to hear what the track “Dreams (Colors Mix)” entails. The idea that you still have more to offer excites me. I feel we could go on like this our entire lives.

Yours in anticipation, Alastair

***

1 October, 2017

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

I’m not angry, just a little confused and disappointed — mainly at myself.

I heard you on Beck’s Colors album. It’s clear now we have different expectations for this. For us.

I don’t mind that you removed the swear word. It’s great, in fact. A sign that you might be open to the idea of bringing children into this.

But why did “d-d-d-dreams” get reduced to “d-d-dreams”? Why are there fewer “oh”s? On some level I get it. If Beck wants to perform you live, he needs to breathe at some point. But you’ve compromised yourself for him. Stepped down from your angelic cloud. Given yourself up to the realities of human limitations and ageing.

And that beautiful “here we are”; your heart and soul, the second I adored more than all others: gone. Replaced outright with that obnoxious, childish guitar wail. “Dreams” by Beck, we’ve talked about this. You knew this would upset me.

Maybe our priorities were never in sync. It was unfair of me to put you on this pedestal; to mistake a fun summer jam for a lifelong relationship. I committed too hard, too fast, and tried to make you into something you’re not.

You owe me nothing. I just wish we’d had the chance to talk about it beforehand.

I’m sorry. Alastair

***

3 February, 2018

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

It was nice to hear you at Toowong Shopping Centre the other day. I’m sorry it was only your abridged radio edit, but I enjoyed our short catch up all the same. Even that playful guitar wail brought a smile to my face, like an old lover’s snore.

That turbulent time we had: it was beautiful, wild and doomed. But perhaps we could still share something moving forward. Something slower; more comfortable; able to coexist with other loves. I’m ready if you are.

Can we be friends again?

Thank you for your time, Alastair

***

6 February, 2019

Dear “Super Cool” by Beck feat. Robyn & The Lonely Island from The Lego Movie 2 soundtrack,

[party-in-eldarya]

As you know, last week we had a rather nice event on MCL: one line costed 1 PA. It made me finally play MCL UL a lot, and I realized few things: 

1) those episodes are not that awful when you can play them smoothly, not like being stuck for a week in one dialogue. 

2) Beemoov should have made HSL and UL 1 PA when they moved to Love Life, because I was this close to nuke whole game. I know, I know- less money. BS, Beemoov, I paid more money this week than I have done during last year. Think about it, Beemoov. Think about it. 

3) Beemoov cannot into interactions. Candy- left her friends, never wrote to them, never met with them although phones, letters, mails and trains still exist in her universe. She cannot call her parents because of phone network malfunction, but she didn’t think about emailing them or ven writing a fucking letter! 

Same, Erika spent days of “I don’t have anything to do. Whatever will I do with myself?” and never ever thought about writing a letter to her bf Miko, Ezarel, anyone. 

She focuses on new friends, they are now “best ones”. It is pretty sad she has done the same with her family... 

Well, I see similarities- whenever Beemoov gets new toy (game) they abandon old one. Like company, like MC. 

4) We have waited 17 episodes for Lance addressing (dead) elephant in room, and 18 episodes to get more thoughts on plp who were very close to our Erika. It’s not like ANE was packed with action, and even with limits of words- ANE writer keeps on repeating same things, just different words. We could have get few thoughts on our previous LI if Erika didn’t talk to her familiar- a thing that no player enjoyed*

Or am I wrong, and there is someone who loved those parts?

[allbeendonebefore]

i decided to open a new blank doc to go at the ruperts land thing from a different angle just for fun and i’m already suffering from scope creep because. yknow. balancing characters all with their own unique histories that i could go super in depth on each but that’s not the point.

so for the sake of avoiding scope creep lets establish what this is and isn’t if i actually ever do bother to do anything about it

- dominion day was about the founding four provinces that Did join confederation AND the two that did Not; likewise ruperts land is about the provinces and territories that came out of the nwt (3 in the 19th century, 3 in the 20th)

- so, back in iamp the ruperts land fam was treated as siblings even though they were never established as such by sherry. this treatment bothers me for a lot of reasons and it’s not a reading that i bring with me because i just feel like its an extension of the Canadian tm view of a place that was full of very different people lumped together for convenience and colonization. i do treat them like found family, sure, but they are ambiguously related because again its. a Lot of different people and cultures that kind of are treated in canadian history as “land we Wanted and land we don’t care about but need to have or else”

- the reason i bring that up is that in nwt’s bio she’s referred to as everyone’s big sister, and you could take that in a literal or a metaphorical sense. i Personally like the idea that part of her character arc was being alone and independent since ‘birth’ and then her like. mellowing out and learning to actually take care of others as she encountered them. so her relationship with NT is completely different from how the others remember her growing up lol, with nunny she is like you’re sure you’re ok? are you eating enough at home? and yukon starts talking about how when she was growing up it was just nonstop chores and occasionally fighting lol.

- i think the central focus of this story is how nwt is hella ambiguous, i don’t think she came into the world knowing who her people were, she knew that there were people like her but they already had meaning. so it’s kind of the story of her getting definition (mostly from others but i think she finds herself too)

- like its also obviously the story of the others but mostly its about her. and how. right after all the drama and politics of dominion day. she was literally. bought. and the others just appeared as part of the package deal. and that sets the tone for all of western and northern canadian politics up to now, and a particularly big elephant in the room is the numbered treaties.

- ALL THIS SAID i know i have a tendency to lose sight of the big picture because i am so invested in this history and its somewhat personal to me so i need to not do a deep dive. i have to sort of imagine it from an outsider perspective too, so the next thing i need to decide is how to tell the story and what questions to answer and what questions that just get hinted at or asked without being directly addressed. one of the smaller ones that still is pretty big is what is the difference between a province and a territory, and while i want to be cynical about it i guess that’s really the root of the story im telling at the end of the day

- i was initially going to do it chronologically and pick up from where i left off with dd but it occurred to me it would actually make more sense to bookend it with more contemporary history, because again Nunny’s relationship with confederation is also entirely different from the rest of rupert’s land. so really i’m also structuring it around her too.

- anyway that’s enough rambling for now shout if you have questions and i’ll do my best to answer. none of this is or should be considered Canon it’s just how i personally view the history so [radical guitar solo] nothing matters! :)