#i don't do this dream justice enough in words but it's definitely one of the most important ones kaeya has

[ccaptain]

night terrors 👀

THANK U FOR SENDING *PREPARES TO HIT U WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER FULL OF FEELS* -- @dvouring

kaeya's worst nightmares are when he dreams about killing crepus.

you know how his fear that it was actually his fault was cemented with time? what kaeya fails to see is that, even if he came to his rescue before ursa the drake was going to maim him, what could he have done realistically?? he was young, and most importantly visionless. ever if he rushed here in time, the best he could have done against ursa was to throw his sword at it. like throwing a fucking toothpick at godzilla. it was 100% going to be a bloodbath with many casualties among the knights. including kaeya himself. it's a mix of survivors guilt tinged with the fact that everything else seems to point the blame at him not arriving sooner, and he adamantly refuses to accept the reality that what happened wasn't his fault.

in fact, this translates into a very brief dream where crepus smiles at him, calls him 'son' with all the affection in the world and hugs him. ''it wasn't your fault,'' his adoptive dad tells him, holding him close.

kaeya relaxes in the hold until it starts feeling too warm. it's a warmth that he doesn't deserve, too familiar, too comfortable, and suddendly that hug seems like a straightjacket threatening to crush him. the whole place is on fire, and his lungs are painfully tight-

that's when he drives his sword right between his adoptive father's ribs. sometimes it's the stomach, sometimes he goes straight for the throat. it doesn't matter where it strikes, it's lethal. he slowly takes some steps back and lets crepus body slump to the floor, crimson blood pooling under him catching fire.

he's crying, stomach churning, but all he can manage to say is an almost spiteful ''it is, now.''

[just-a-ghost00]

Do you stand a chance with this person?

If you're feeling a bit lost about a connection and where this is going, we'll try to see if this is worth your time and energy. Pick one of the following emojis : 1🕷️  2🎃 3🦇

Group 1 - Pink Spider ~

9 of cups, Justice, The Sun, Hierophant, The Star

Well, this looks pretty good for you group 1. Not only do you stand a chance but the outcome could be even better than what you ever dreamed of. This person thinks and feels positively towards you. Their intentions are genuine and serious. They want to do right by you. This connection has potential for a succesful committed relationship. With the Star card, I get the feeling that it may take a while before you come into union with this person, especially if there is an important physical distance between you. Little TMI : the song linked to your group is from Japanese artist Hide (X-Japan). This song is a metaphorical one. It talks about a pink spider whose perception of the world is narrowed down to its web, the web representing the lies it tells itself or told by others. Looking at the sky from the web, it wishes for wings that it doesn't have. It is afraid to take risks and get hurt, but by looking at the butterflies and birds soaring high, the spider still envies them. One day a bird flying by, seeing the sad spider, advises it to take a butterfly's wings and come fly with them. Though this is going to hurt the butterfly, the spider desperately wanting to fly takes the wings, appologizing for its deeds. "It's not that I want to hurt you, but I don't have wings and that sky is just so high..." says the spider. To which the butterfly answers "you can take my wings, but you'll find out soon enough that flying isn't as easy as you'd think". As expected, though having the butterfly wings, the spider still can't fly. Still looking at the sky, the spider sees the birds immigrating to the South flying by its web. The end of the song is a bit confusing. The lyrics are "ano kumo ga toori sugita" and the word kumo can both be translated as cloud or spider. So the meaning of the lyrics could either be "I wanna go over to those clouds" and in this case this would be the spider's thoughts. But it could also be translated as "I wanna go over that spider" which in this case would be from the bird's POV. For some reason I felt like talking about the lyrics translation of that song would be relevant.

Confirmation signs : ladybugs, flowers, doves, books, trees, distance, social media, Leo, Taurus, Aquarius, Libra, starry skies, goats, letter S

Group 2 - This is Halloween...

6 of cups , knight of pentacles, 6 of swords, king of wands, 9 of wands

You could stand a chance with this person however this would take a lot of effort and patience from both sides. There's a lot to heal for this connection to be fruitful. There would definitely be chemistry and passion but there would also be a lot of challenges and tensions if you were to pursue this connection right now. It would be best to work on yourselves prior to being together. But what you do is up to you. This connection would potentially require you to leave a connection or situation. If you pay attention to the song related to your group, there's an underlying energy of fear and tricky energies. It's like a lot of frightening things are lurking in the shadows and to be able to fully enjoy the journey, you have to be able to overcome your fears and tame the demons hiding under the bed, the ghosts of the past trying to haunt you and so on. Also, this song happens at a kind of masquerade / parade where all spooky creatures are playing games and hiding behind masks, especially Jack Skellington who pretends that he enjoys his role in the community when he is thriving for something different and new. So this could be relevent to your situation with this person.

Confirmation signs : repeating 6s, earth signs, fire signs, books, religious people, clouds,

Group 3 - For Gotham !

7 of swords, King of swords, Hierophant, Tower, Ace of cups

To be honest, your chances are thin. I can't say no. But I can't say yes either. I feel like this person would love to be in a romantic relationship with you. But they are so scared about the idea that it seems impossible for them to welcome you in their life. With the 7 of swords and the King of swords, I get the impression of someone doing everything in their power to hide their true thoughts. Someone deliberately lying and acting unkind to somehow protect the other from their shadows. Maybe they struggle with mental health issues and they don't want you to witness the mess they're in. They don't want to let you in. I feel like losing you because of who they are would shatter them. So they put up a wall between you. The Batman reference was no coincidence. I intuitively picked up on it before I proceeded with the reading. This person really gives me Bruce Wayne vibes. They pretend like all is fine when they're falling and their world is in ruins. They love you but they would rather die than let you know. They would rather you believed you were insignificant to them so you could move on in your life and be happy without them because they don't think they have what it takes to make you happy, no matter how successful they can be in life.

Confirmation signs : flowers, nightingales, churches, wings, air signs, Taurus, dragons, sea shells, lotus flower

[daengtokki]

Heyy there :) I literally can't stop thinking about SKZ f!additional member AU and softie Seungmin who seems nonchalant like the unbothered king he is but caring just deeply about reader, for example looking out for her when practice gets tough, getting snacks during recording sessions and so oooon. Yeah, I'm weak for that. Maybe you are, too. Have fun during this fluffy week either way^-^<3

This trope is interesting, but I've never actually read a single fic based on it! I'm not sure if I would do it justice. I do have an idea, though, and it's in the same vein as this, and I can add in the things that you're weak for (because same). The problem is…I can’t do it in a single ~1k word oneshot 🥲

So thank you for the inspiration for a new possible longer story! Unless everyone absolutely hates it.

If you like it, I’ll be happy.

idol!Kim Seungmin/guest artist!reader/idol!Chan x reader △

wc: ~1.1k (part 1?)

rating: angst to fluff

Day 5 of Seungmin's birthday oneshot countdown!

It's a few more weeks at the most, maybe longer, and after that...he'll probably never see you, or talk to you again. The planning stages of this was fun, he admits, and all eight of you sitting around the table talking to you on speakerphone; the excitement in everyone's eyes and voices was contagious. And of course Seungmin is excited...it's you. He's been a fan of yours for as long as he can remember, so having the opportunity to work alongside you, and maybe even sing with you? It’s a dream come true.

That's the problem.

He hasn't slept properly in a few days, and he's feeling very puffy and tired. There's only so much he can do now to prepare himself. He took a cold shower this morning, drank as much water as he could handle, but after that he couldn't stomach more than half of his iced coffee. It's still in his hand, numb from the almost melted ice, and dripping steadily on the floor. You're somewhere in this building right now, and you could walk in with the others at any moment.

Time to turn off. Turn off or make a complete ass of himself.

/ / /

You feel a little awkward as you walk toward the meeting room...recording studio? You actually have no clue where you're going, but you're flanked by two much taller men you don't know, and in front of you is Chan, who was a little red in the face when he was talking to you and asking you to call him Chris. So you do.

"Chris?"

He turns and smiles at you, and it's so...something you can't and refuse to deal with right now, you think. No. It's cute, and it's shy. The photos you've seen of him before today really did nothing for him, even the good ones. But you're a professional, and you are very good at acting professional when needed. Even when sweet, attractive men are involved.

"Yeah, all good?"

"Good, yeah! Where are we headed? Should I be mentally preparing to meet everyone?"

"Yes, definitely start preparing right now"

One more right turn and something about the door up ahead feels like the one. Meeting suite 1411. That's the one. Chris opens the door and moves aside to let you in first, and the room is empty, or appears to be. Security fell back and took up guard at the end of the hallway (unnecessary and embarrassing, you told Chris when they appeared).

"Oh, nobody is here...okay." He checks his phone and scrunches his nose, and you kind of feel like kissing it. "I'm sorry, I guess everyone ignored the group chat this morning."

"That's alright, are they somewhere else?"

"It's possible, but..." he points to the table filled with snacks and drinks. "I don't wanna drag you around looking for them." The phone is to his ear, and you hear it ringing, and ringing...

"I can wait here if you have to go find them. I already see a coffee carafe with my name on it."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. I haven't had enough coffee or stare at my phone time this morning, anyway. And my friends are down the hall."

He smiles so big, you have to return is just as enthusiastically. Maybe he'll turn up his flirting, and you won't have to feel as responsible for your own.

"I'll be right back"

Chris turns on his heel and is gone, and the room is so quiet. Maybe you should put some music on. Before anything, you look over the catering and wonder if anyone will actually have time to enjoy this. The coffee and lemon water, sure, but this is actually a full-course meal in front of you. Just as you fill your cup with coffee, you hear music...but you don't think you pushed play yet.

No, definitely not, because it's your voice that you're hearing. You turn toward it, and jump when you see him standing there, almost mid-step, one hand reaching to pull at his earlobe. His eyes are wide, but other than that...he seems less surprised to see you than you are to see him. But he does at least pause the music.

"Hello," you say, hoping to get him to come a little closer. Whoever he is, and you feel like you should remember all of their names by now, he looks a little annoyed that he now has to share this space and this coffee with someone else. "My eyesight isn't great even with the contacts... I don't bite."

"Hi," he takes a few steps toward you, and you watch his long legs move in his shorts and socks and clean black converse. "I'm–"

"No, I can remember...give me a second"

He does, but he doesn't seem happy about it. This one doesn't have the carefree smile that Chris did, or the shy demeanor. It's a bit distracting, the way his lips purse into a heart, and the way his big brown eyes look down at you. His hair falls perfectly in front of his eyes, but you're pretty sure he woke up looking this good.

"Oh..." it comes to you, sort of. "You're the puppy, aren't you?" You think you see the ghost of a smile on his lips, but it's gone so quickly. "Seungmin."

"Yes, I'm the puppy. And also Seungmin."

The puppy persona fits him, at least physically. His face is soft and round, his big brown eyes turn every so slightly downward, and his ears—something about the way his ears sit on his head, is so... "it's nice to finally meet you."

"Likewise"

Seungmin holds out his hand for you. You do the same, and he takes it so gently. His touch and his mien don't seem to match, and you wonder if the first impression isn't the one to remember for this one.

/ / /

Seungmin finally takes a deep breath when you turn and head toward the coffee again, and he watches as you very carefully add the smallest amount of milk and sugar to it. He finally finished his, so maybe he should make himself another cup. It gives him a reason to rejoin you instead of standing here looking like an idiot.

"Have you met everyone else, or just me?" What a stupid question, he thinks. "I mean, I'm sure you met someone...you're here."

"I met Chris. He left to go find all of you, but you must be the only one who read the message and listened."

"Yes, I saw the message. I like to be on top of things."

The way his voice lowers as he speaks sends a little shiver up your arms. Seungmin likes to be on top of things, and you love catching an innuendo wherever you can. You smirk, but wipe it from your face when you think he might be looking at you.

Seungmin sees the smile pull at your lips and then disappear immediately. "What?"

"Nothing,” you laugh. “I don’t think you talked much on the calls, did you?”

“I did not speak much, I don’t have too much creative say. I have some, it just depends on what we’re doing.”

“Well, it’s tough getting in there with eight of you, I’m sure. Everyone can’t be everywhere…too many cooks in the kitchen.”

Seungmin allows himself to laugh at that, but he stifles it a little and turns away. You’re as cute and relaxed in person as you seem in interviews, and on stage, and it’s a little overwhelming. He can’t let himself do this—he can’t get himself into something he won’t be able to escape. But he seems to remember reading something about a possible relationship you’ve gotten yourself into. Thinking about that breaks his heart a little, but it’ll at least help keep him away.

None of that matters, though. Why would you have any interest in him in the first place?

“Do you want coffee? How do you take it?”

Dammit, okay… “black is good.”

[rpking99]

In Brightest Day, In Needy Night

Closed with @a-fantastic-time

Continued from here

It was honestly anyone's guess as to why the two found comfort in each other. Jessica being a ball of both physical and mental troubles, and Aya herself. A rogue A.I. according to the guardians, that barely met the standards for being sentient enough to be allowed to maintain her role as a Green Lantern.

But some how they stuck by each other, helped one another and supported everything with they stood for. After everything that had happened to her involving the other corps and even the anti-Monitor, there were even fewer people that she could really trust and rely on. She smiled and looked up towards her organic partner. The two floating just above Earth's atmosphere, the sun peering over the crest of the horizon. The two taking a small moment to just be in each other's arms.

Before they would get a mission or an alert that they would need to separate and go deal with their own quadrants of space. Something that had been taxing on both of them. Even if they could still communicate when ever they wished, it wasn't as good as when they could feel each other's touch.

Even if touch itself was difficult for Aya given her body. But she had been learning from each of their dates on how and when it was appropriate for her to do such with Jessica, which is why it came as such a surprise for her to reveal herself to her as it was now.

"J-Jessica! A-Are you sure? You know I don't require such physical contact. I don't have sexual urges, so I want to make it clear this isn't why I love you."

But her words fell on deaf ears as she watched her body flicker and glow. Everything she could possibly think to equate the word beauty right in front of her. She would nod and slowly let her body glow brightly, her metallic form growing and filling out in specific ways. "I wasn't sure what you would like, so I simply copied a bit from your crushes in the Justice League. I hope thats ok?"

In front of Jessica laid the culmination of Wonder Woman, Power Girl, Catwoman, and even maybe a villain or two. "If the size isn't right I can adjust them if you prefer?" She said floating closer over to the other. Smiling as she grabbed her hands and laced their fingers together softly. "I want you for you, not for your body or what ever you could possibly have."

"Yes Aya, I'm sure. I know you don't have physical desire but... I do. This... It shows how much I trust you. Love you. Because you make me feel safe. You make me feel okay going this fa-oh. Oh wow."

Jessica was left staring at the way Aya's body changed. Left in awe at the beautiful sexy body Aya left before her to just bask in. The female lantern having to hold back the urge to drool

....

And she was snapped from her shock as her lover spoke

"Girls I have crush-Aya! Have you been looking through my internet history? As spoke about that!" Jessica complained with a big blush... Although she could definitely see it now. The thick thighs definitely came from Wonder Woman. Power Girls tits where unmistakable. Catwoman's marvelous ass? Check. And she could just keep going if she wanted to

Aya had turned herself into Jessica's literal dream woman

....

And it just made Jessica smile even more lovingly at her

[marsbarsfrommars]

if you need to be mean (be mean to me)

star wars: the high republic | rated t | complete | 2,661 words | avar kriss & elzar mann, a little avar kriss/elzar mann | hurt/comfort, angst, little bit of fluff

summary

“Are you alright?” he asks then, his voice gentle yet heavy with concern. It makes her want to scream at him and break down crying at the same time. She chooses the former. “Of course I'm not!” she snaps, whirling around to face him with so much force she nearly stumbles. “Starlight is lost at the bottom of the ocean, along with Stellan and Maru and so many others, and it's all my fault!”

or, a continuation of their argument in sos #2

read

under the cut or on ao3 for better formatting

notes

I told everyone who asked me to write more elvar (I'm incredibly honoured by that btw) that it would definitely take a while, but it hasn't even been a week so now I look like an idiot, but at least I have this for you

this one is dedicated to everyone on tumblr and ao3 who commented/liked/reblogged/left kudos on my last fanfic. your support means the world to me and is probably the reason I was able to finish this so fast

unfortunately, this is not as fluffy as the last one, but I really wanted to write this because I feel like we don't talk about avar's trauma regarding starlight and stellan's death enough. she deserves to let it all out and receive the comfort she needs.

I need to be real with you for a moment, though. I struggle with perfectionism, and that makes me really insecure about my writing, and while I try to overcome it, I have managed to convince myself that this is actually the worst thing ever written in the history of fanfiction. initially, I didn't want to post it at all, but I'm trying to overcome my perfectionism because it's actually pretty hard to get anything done like this, so I have forced myself to post it anyway. that is actually not at all relevant to the fanfic itself, but I needed to get this off my chest. anyways, I hope this isn't as bad as I think it is and you actually enjoy it

what avar and elzar say to each other during the first argument at the beginning of this will probably seem familiar to you because those are direct quotes from the comic. everything after that is written by me only.

also, english isn't my first language, so please just ignore any grammar/spelling mistakes

content warning for survivor's guilt, loss of a loved one (stellan in this case) and description of the start of a panic attack, but it's not more severe/graphic than in the books

“I am going into Nihil territory. I will find their leaders and bring them to justice,” she said when they fought that afternoon, the anger clear in her voice but not fully masking the still-audible edge of desperation.

Elzar looked taken aback. “Wait, you're leaving? After I just told you…” he hesitated then, like he just realised something. “Is that why? Because of what I did?”

It wasn't; of course it wasn't; she would never dream of leaving him because he had made a mistake. Normally, she would have explained herself and told him that she wanted to leave because of her own mistakes, not his, but she was too shaken up to properly explain herself, and he continued talking almost immediately.

“Or… is it something to do with us?”

“I can't make important decisions based on us, Elzar. I am a Jedi,” she answered, already turning on her heel and starting to walk away from him. “And so are you.”

She left him in their tent and went to help with the relief efforts until dusk, when the Eirami disaster relief workers told her to go and rest. She protested, of course, but they couldn't be persuaded to let her continue helping them.

She debated checking on the other Jedi, but she couldn't bring herself to face them at the moment. Ultimately, she decided to walk back to the refugee camp, hoping that Elzar wouldn't be in their tent. Out of all the people here, he was the one she wanted to see the least.

When Avar opens the door to the tent now, it's empty, and she lets out a breath of relief. Maybe I really should rest for a while, she thinks, even though deep down she knows she won't be able to, despite her tiredness. Nevertheless, she strips off her torn and singed cloak and washes her hands and face at the small sink in the corner.

Someone placed water and a small pile of ration bars on the low table between the bunks while she was away. Avar unwraps a bar and takes a bite. It tastes like nothing, like it always does, but unlike so many other times before, she's not bothered by it this time; she has no appetite anyways.

She takes another bite and lets her thoughts wander, almost desperately trying to avoid thinking of Stellan and Starlight. Amazingly enough, she succeeds. Instead, her thoughts travel back to Elzar and the argument they had this afternoon, which is only a marginally better thing to think about if she really intends to rest.

I can't make important decisions based on us, Elzar. I am a Jedi. And so are you, she told him and she meant it, she still means it. They are Jedi, after all. They can't put their feelings for each other above the wellbeing of the galaxy. Not that he had asked her too; he would never. Both of them believe in being Jedi too much for that.

Deep down, she knows that her desire to leave has nothing to do with them at all, and everything with her not being able to face her own failures. But it's easier to not think of that right now. Instead, she reminds herself that there is no them—there can't be, not like it's supposed to be, because they're Jedi and because Stellan is dead. They are a constellation missing a star, a composition with one note crossed out, an ocean devoid of life. They are forever incomplete. And there is nothing she can do to fix that. She has failed them all.

The pain manifests as a physical ache in her chest, and it becomes harder and harder to breathe. Before, Avar had hardly noticed the panic building up inside her, but now it threatens to overwhelm her. She clenches her trembling hands into fists and tries to breathe as deeply and evenly as possible. This is not supposed to happen to her. She is a Jedi; she doesn't let her emotions control her. She's not supposed to be overwhelmed by them or feel like she might die.

Avar tries to push the panic away, but the harder she tries, the worse it gets. Theoretically, she knows she has to calm herself, but it's hard to focus on anything but the fact that she can hardly breathe. Every single one of her senses is solely focused on the panic, until she abruptly senses something else—she expected him to return at some point, but she didn't expect that point to come so soon and even hoped to be gone by then. The shock snaps her out of the spiral she was threatening to go down and lets her focus on her breathing until she feels the panic subside. It's still there, but it's less overwhelming now.

She feels Elzar's presence before she hears the door open. At least one thing is still the same. He pauses at the open door, and there's a moment where neither of them say anything. Avar thinks he might just turn around and leave again, but he doesn't. Instead, he closes the door behind himself and walks over to her, stopping a few steps behind her. “Are you alright?” he asks then, his voice gentle yet heavy with concern. It makes her want to scream at him and break down crying at the same time. She chooses the former.

“Of course I'm not!” she snaps, whirling around to face him with so much force she nearly stumbles. “Starlight is lost at the bottom of the ocean, along with Stellan and Maru and so many others, and it's all my fault!”

He doesn't seem taken aback by her anger. A part of her wishes he was, wishes he would shout back. He doesn't. His voice remains gentle when he shakes his head and says, “It's not, Avar. I said this earlier too, but you can't put all the weight on yourself. I know you blame yourself, but no one else does, I promise you.”

“And how would you know that?” Her voice is raised and full of anger, she's almost shouting. It's unnecessarily mean, she knows that. Elzar is just as hurt as she is, he doesn't deserve to be the target of her rage at all, but he's here right now, and the anger is simmering hot beneath her skin. She knows she shouldn't give into it, but she's afraid of what will be left once the rage is gone.

“I know,” he responds, still infuriatingly calm, “because everyone out there has made mistakes as well, and some of those mistakes have set something in motion that got people hurt in the end, but no one blames them for that. How could they? Making a mistake that gives people who want to harm others the opportunity to do so doesn't make you wholly responsible for the harm caused. Sometimes it doesn't make you responsible at all.”

He's right. She knows he's right, but she can't quiet the song of fault and failure the Force has been singing to her all day. It's as overwhelming as the panic had been before.

Elzar continues talking. “Yes, you've made mistakes that indirectly led to all this happening, but so did I, so did Stellan, so did the Council, so did the Chancellor, and so did lot's and lot's of other people. But in the end, it's the Nihil alone who blew up Starlight. They caused all of this. They are to blame for all the deaths and all the hurt.”

He still sounds calm, but there's a clear edge of desperation in his voice now. “I know it's hard to accept that no one else blames you, when you blame yourself.” He doesn't say, I blame myself, too, doesn't say, If you blame anyone but the Nihil, it should be me, doesn't say, Logically, I know what I said is true, but I won't stop thinking it's all my fault, but she knows anyways. Normally, she would try to comfort him, like he's trying for her now, but she is unable to comfort anyone right now, not even herself.

“But I need you to know that the galaxy doesn't blame you, Avar. I don't blame you, and I know that Stellan doesn't-, didn't… that he didn't either.”

And that's what makes her tip over the edge she has been so precariously balancing on. “You have no idea what Stellan thinks of me or if he would blame me!” She's definitely shouting now. “The last thing we ever did was fight! It's the only thing we've done the past year, and now Stellan is dead and I can't ever tell him that I'm sorry and that I didn't mean any of it and that he will always be my best friend and that I… that I…” her voice breaks, effectively interrupting her rambling outburst. She has to take a deep, shaky breath before continuing, only to find that she can't. At last, her voice has failed too. That's when all the emotions she had been so carefully pushing down finally spill over and she just breaks down.

Elzar is there to catch her. He takes two quick steps forward and wraps his arms around her. Avar allows him to pull her close and clings to him like a lifeline. She buries her face against his shoulder and starts sobbing uncontrollably. He holds her for what feels like hours and lets her cry for as long and as hard as she needs to, while gently caressing her back and occasionally stroking her hair.

Eventually, the tears stop coming, and her breathing steadies enough to allow her to speak again. She pulls away slowly, not enough to create any real distance between them, but just enough to look him in the eyes. Elzar’s been crying too, she realises. His face is stained with tears, and his eyes are just as red as hers probably are. She brings one hand up to cup his face and he leans into it like it's instinct.

Avar leans her forehead against his and closes her eyes. They’re so close now that they are sharing breaths. She can't remember the last time they've been this close to each other. She missed this; she missed him.

“I'm sorry I yelled at you,” she whispers, her voice hoarse from all the crying. “It's just… I miss Stellan. I miss him so much, and I can't stop blaming myself for Starlight and for never apologising to him.”

“It's alright, I understand. I miss him too.” Elzar's whispering too, his voice as hoarse as hers. “And I know that he didn't blame you—he would never. He wanted to apologise and make things right with you. He missed you, Avar, and he wasn't angry with you in the end.”

She had thought she physically couldn't cry anymore, but she feels the telltale pressure of tears behind her eyes return at his words. “If he didn't blame me, he didn't blame you either, El.” It’s the only thing she manages to say before she has to bury her face against his shoulder, as her body is once again wracked by sobs. Elzar is crying too, she can tell by the way he's trembling in her embrace.

She doesn't have to question if what he told her is true or not; he wouldn't lie to her, she knows that. She also knows that he believes what she told him. It makes everything a little better. Still, neither of them will stop blaming themselves. Starlight is still gone, and Stellan is still dead, and there is nothing they can do to change that. The grief is something they have to accept and work through, as is the Jedi way. And as much as each of them wants the other to be okay, it's not something they can offer one another. Elzar and her—they're as broken as the song of the Force and all they can do is hold each other so they don't fall apart. It's a painful realisation, but Avar is grateful for it nonetheless. It's better than the panic or the anger.

It's then that she truly realises how tired she is. Her body feels heavy with exhaustion, and she doesn't think she can stay on her feet a moment longer without collapsing. “I think we should try to sleep,” she tells him.

Elzar nods. “Yeah, we should. I can go and find another tent if you-”

“No,” she interrupts him firmly. She doesn't want to be alone tonight, not anymore, and she imagines he doesn't either.

“Alright,” he answers, and Avar can hear the relief in his voice.

They pull away from each other fully, and while she toes off her boots and takes off her belt, outer tunic, and gloves, Elzar strips off his cloak and washes his hands and face like she had done earlier tonight. He takes off his boots, belt, and outer tunic as well, but leaves his gloves on, which should strike her as odd, but she's too tired to even question it right now.

They sit down on the edges of their respective bunks, facing each other. After everything, the physical distance between them feels too far like this. It's something both of them know, but neither is brave enough to address in fear of overstepping the boundaries they've so carefully drawn up between them. It's not something Avar can deal with tonight, she decides. So she walks over to him, sidestepping the low table, until she's standing right in front of him and he's looking up at her. There is a question in his gaze, he doesn't dare assume anything. She cups his face again, this time with both hands, to reassure him and because she wants to.

“El,” she whispers his name. There's more she had planned to say, but all the words are wiped from her head when his hands find her hips. This doesn't need to be discussed; they understand each other just fine without words. He gently squeezes her hips before letting go and scooting back on the narrow bunk. She climbs in beside him. It's clearly not made for two adult humans to comfortably sleep next to each other, but they make it work. They lie down side by side, faces turned to each other, and Elzar pulls the blanket over both of them. They don't speak, both of them are too exhausted to have a conversation.

Elzar softly brushes his lips against her forehead in lieu of saying good night, and she presses her hand against his chest, right over his heart.

They fall asleep like this. Lying on their sides, facing each other, arms slung over waists and legs intertwined. It's a surprisingly deep and restful sleep considering the events of the day. For a moment, it feels like maybe they'll be okay after all.

In the end, though, that night changes very little in the grand scheme of things. Avar still leaves in the morning. She wakes before he does and slips out of his arms and the bunk as quietly as possible. As much as it hurts her to leave Elzar like this, she knows in her heart that she can't go back to Coruscant. She can't face her own failures, so she tells herself someone needs to be out there fighting the Nihil and runs, even if she hates herself for it a little.

(Six days later, the Stormwall goes up and she's trapped in the Occlusion Zone with no way home. Three hundred seventy-six days later, she finally hears Elzar's message and his words make her sob once again. Three hundred and seventy-eight days after she left him on Eiram, she steps into the Council Chambers in the Temple on Coruscant and he's there. It takes her three hundred seventy-eight days to find her way home, but she gets there in the end.)

[somerandomcryptid]

Ok I just need to blab about Dreaming of death and how the dehumanization is on full desplay ON BOTH SIDES because it's like a whole thing

Because I mean in prison, to Quackity, Dream still is a monster, still a threat something that needs to aton for it's crimes by being tortured(which does nothing to make a better tomorrow, all it does it hurt Dream and give Quackity catharsis) Dream doesn't have space to be a person to Quackity

And on the flip side to Dream, Quackity has hurt him too much, has hurt his loved ones too much for him to have the space of being person, to Dream, Quackity essentially becomes the same thing Dream is to Quackity, someone who must pay for all he's done to him and the people he loves

And it's always that they must pay in blood, I think they're almost static in each other's minds, the idea that the other could change isn't even a possibility (which I mean fair enough they have both done so much stuff that it's hard to think of them as fluid people)

And the thing is, yeah neither of them really change! They keep hurting each other! After Quackity is tortured by Dream, sure he doesn't go back to earth, but when Dream comes back to the smp to pick up his little sibling that Quackity oh so kindly(/s) dumped into the smp and ends up staying because Cryptid is having emotions™ about all of this and the idea of being confined to a house with only Wren a Dream makes them scared as fuck, you know that whole thing, when Quackity learns Dream is back in the smp, well, he tries to hire Punz to hunt him down which ya know... Uh he got scammed big time.

But my point is, his viewpoint on Dream, and how hostile, and how much he wants him dead, never change

And it's the same for Dream

Because you know, revenge is a cycle and nobody on this fucking smp knows how to call it quits besides the people who are literally from other worlds

It is actually a major facet of Cryptid's character though, the fact that they try to humanize everyone, they hate punitive justice so much, including when it's on people who they don't like, but you know they almost shoot themself in the foot about it because they just try to have civil conversations about it, because if they try and punish the people who are enacting revenge or punitive justice than they're just a fucking hypocrite!

And Quackity and Dream do not care! They explain this shit a lot, they even make some amount of sense sometimes, they try to make them see how revenge is literally them just dooming themselves to cycle because revenge never stops unless someone breaks the cycle. Neither Q or Dream wants to change though, they want to feel better about the past actions committed to them or their loved ones, and they can't be convinced that torturing each other just keeps them in that headspace and never allows them to move on

Cryptid also notably has a burning hatred for the term 'monster', because to them everyone is just people, yes people hurt each other, but all these words... they have no proper definition, when does a man become a monster? When is something considered evil? Morality is such a subjective and relative thing to them. This does not mean they don't have morals by the way, they have morals, they just know others have different morals and they aren't going to assert themselves as right because what are they, an entitled asshole? Maybe they don't know, but they try not be.

Which extra means their explanations of the cycle of revenge are...... weird plainly put. They try to present it in a practical way, in a way of "well if you're nicer it will directly benefit you," but they also inevitablely add on something along the lines of: "at least some of the time, I mean sometimes people just act like dicks to make themselves feel better, but like you get my point right? I didn't spend 3 hours trying to explain this for you to just throw literally all of it away in favor of perpetuating an unhealthy cycle that I have explained is unhealthy and why? Oh you are going to do that? So I just wasted 3 hours of my life? Great. Just idk give it some thought."

Anyway sorry for rambling about Cryptid's morality so much, morality is just something I find interesting and the triangle of opinions Cryptid, Dream, and Quackity form is real interesting

(as always: Dreaming of Death is an au of the fic Penpal by @calamari-minecraft-corner, and the au technically starts after chapter 31)

[coffee-writesthings]

First kiss, a little drabble because I was feeling inspired by hozier's "Like Real People Do"

Cross-faction btw!

A rough day on the battlefield, with shared deaths on either side. Both RED and BLU were struggling to gain any real ground in what looked like it was going to definitely become a stalemate. Capture points were one of the worst sorts of things, in Dell's opinion-- having to move around all the time turned into so much work.

If he had to guess, it must have been similar for the other team's Spy. Though maybe, maybe that snake liked having something more to do. More things to sap, more places to go, more ways to catch someone off-guard.

It was thinking about things like this which caused death, after death, after death for him. This time though, he wasn't killed immediately. Instead, under the guise of invisibility-- definitely a cloak and dagger, rather than one of the other invis-watches, he held a knife just by his pulsing neck. The cold metal of his Big Earner could've felt like a peaceful respite from the heat, had it not been joined by a dark chuckle.

Unfortunately for Spy's attempt at intimidation, he'd had just about enough of this for one day. He clenched his jaw, breathing slowly so that he could say what he was about to, without making a fool out of himself.

"Aren't you tired?"

The knife's hold on him faltered. "Of what, exactly?"

"Killing people, running 'round without letting people see you, all of it."

"I could ask you the same question, laborer."

"Would you though? We're pitted against each other every day, in every way. How are we s'posed to care?"

"We… aren't."

"Then why do I find myself thinking about you. Why does your rat face fill my dreams? Why can't I get you out of my head?"

"You care about me?" he scoffed, taking the knife away from his neck. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the shimmer of overused invisibility.

Actions were always something that came before words for Engineer. It was something passed down to him from the earliest age when he lived in Bee Cave, and something he'd keep living by until the day he really died. In a swift motion, he pulled out his destruction PDA, getting rid of his sentry. To hell with the objective.

"This is my gun," he displayed the plain weapon, notably not crackling for bloodshed. "it's not the Frontier Justice-- I'm not gonna kill you with a couple of bullets. Take it if you don't believe me."

"You can keep it. I don't need a shotgun." He clicked a button on his watch, revealing himself to the prying eyes of the other. "Why? Why would you leave yourself entirely prone?"

"There's just somethin' I need to get outta my head. Would you kiss me?"

"Would, or could?" His face was neutral, if a little curious. He didn't seem entirely against the idea.

"Please. Just once, to get it out of my system."

"And if I find that I like it?"

"That'd be one hell of a surprise."

He took a step forward, checking around for cameras-- or a pesky teammate who would interrupt them. "To hell with it." he ripped off his balaclava, revealing his face, and his hair. It was damp with sweat, but still managed to hang about just so, in a way that framed his face.

For moments, he found himself unable to figure out whether he was supposed to look away. In his train of thought he managed to forget how to breath, and how to look away. He kicked himself inside for it.

"You want this?" he confirmed with Spy.

He nodded with a little smirk. "You're getting very good at making a man feel safe, Mr. Conagher."

"Please, call me Dell."

"Okay then, Dell. Come here then. If I'm competing with your dreams, I should use my whole arsenal, no?"

A nervous laugh escaped him as he stepped forward to the other. An arm wrapped around to the small of his back, bringing him even closer-- their torsos pressed together, something neither party minded in the slightest. "Is this a good time to mention that I've never done this before?"

"Truly?"

"Yeah. Not like I could really get out anywhere, always had things to build, stuff I was workin' on."

"I'll make sure to set a high bar then."

He leaned his head forward and down, inviting for him to meet him in the middle-- something he had to go up on his tiptoes for. The hand holding him there was gently supportive, just present, as if he could fall otherwise. And sure, he might've, but not in the literal way.

His lips were so warm, so soft. The hand not on his lower back traveled to the back of his neck. He felt himself melt into the embrace, noticing just how pleasant the sandalwoody, cinnamon scent of his cologne was.

When the kiss broke, he buried his face into the other's shoulder to continue enjoying that smell.

"Good?"

"Yeah, yes. I- I really don't know how that could've gone better."

"I have a few ideas. Maybe we can discuss them over a glass of wine, sometime?"

"I'd like that." he nodded his head rapidly.

With that, Spy stuffed himself back into his mask and disappeared into thin air. "It's a date, mon cher."

[rick-rayson]

Atom Smasher - SFW Alphabet

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS OF THE BLACK ADAM MOVIE, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

A/N: They/them pronouns used for reader! Likely a bit OOC sorry!

(credit for the SFW prompt goes to Jschqtt right here on Tumblr!)

Albert Rothstein:

A: Affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show they care?)

Albert is a pretty affectionate guy, but he's not excessive. He'll gladly hold your hand in public and give you a quick kiss but that's as far as he'll go. He loves, loves, loves doing things for you!

Ask him to do anything and he's already up and ready. He loves doing acts of service for his significant other. He would like to be more affectionate but I think his bashfulness stops him.

B: Beauty (what do they admire? what do they think is beautiful about their S/O?)

Oh gosh where does he even begin?

He loves passionate people, people that are ready to explain their interests to him without a second thought. The kind of people that can rant about something for like 20 minutes straight. He finds that these kinds of people tend to have a light in their eyes that he admires in his partner.

I feel like he's someone that admires people's hands? Very random but I think he'd like to play with his partners hands a lot.

C: Cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

Cuddling is such a blissful thing to him, a dream really. He's definitely a bit stiff every time the two of you cuddle, but he warms up to it fast!

He likes to lie on top of you and snuggle his face into the crook of your neck, he's almost like a teddy bear. He craves cuddles.

D: Domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they with cooking and cleaning?)

A part of him daydreams about the future of his life and the possibility of settling down, but he's still very young, the pursuit of his vigilante career is a big debris against settling down and he knows this. I don't think he wants to settle down for a very long time.

For cooking... He tries. He's not horrible but he's not the greatest. He knows how to make basic meals like noodles and rice and eggs but doesn't tend to try to make anything more than that.

For cleaning he's actually really good! He wants you to enter his home when it's always pristine, he also just isn't a fan of living in a really dirty space.

His belief is that he must clean his plates and cups and table so one day whenever you feel like it, you can eat and drink and sit in his place, perfectly catered towards you.

E: Ending (if they had to break up with their s/o, how would they do it?)

He's horrible at trying to communicate that he's ending things because he doesn't want you to hate him. He'd ask to see you and meet up to go somewhere. Nothing fancy or special, because he's ending things.

He stutters a bit but the words leave his mouth. His reasoning soon follows, if he had to end things it'd likely be due to his work with the Justice Society, after seeing a comrade die for the first time he couldn't help but imagine that one day that could be you. He won't risk it, even if you're all in.

F: Fiancé (how do they feel about commitment? how fast do they want to get married?)

Marriage is something that does pop up in his head but he wouldn't act on it, don't get the wrong idea: he's ABSOLUTELY dedicated to you but he's sensible enough to realize he still has stuff to figure out about himself before taking that big step with you.

G: Gentle (how gentle are they? physically and emotionally)

Due to his powers, and rather fit form, Albert likes to be gentle and won't risk hurting you in any way. He's the pinnacle of gentle, his touch is feather light at first before transitioning into a comforting firmness.

Emotionally he is very light-hearted and well intentioned, always taking your feelings into account and just.. thinking about you a lot. He's not a mean person and doesn't even like pretending to be.

H: Hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it, and what are they like?)

Before dating he rarely hugged you at all, he didn't want to overstep in any way and would only hug you if you approached him first, and gosh does he love your hugs. You may have been the first to initiate the hug but he's always the last one letting go. He can't get enough.

Whilst dating his hugs double, but he still puts your comfort into consideration, if you're not liking his touch he's immediately off of you, no questions asked.

His hugs are the pinnacle of comfort, his body isn't overly cold or overly warm but it's all consuming. He holds you like he hasn't seen you in years. A 10/10 hugger.

I: I love you (how fast would they say ‘i love you’?)

He's the type to say it in the heat of the moment but mean every word, maybe you saved him during a mission or did a cool trick with him, either way the words leave his mouth before he can stop himself. He'd probably say the three special words around 7 months into dating.

J: Jealousy (how jealous do they get? how do they act when they’re jealous?)

Admittedly, Albert can have a jealous streak but feels great shame for these feelings. He thinks jealousy is ugly on him.

So if he sees someone getting a bit too friendly with you he's frozen at first. He doesn't want to cause a scene and he doesn't want to embarrass you in any way so he just... Watches.

You can easily catch on with the way he just stares at you and the random person flirting with you, he looks like a kicked puppy.

If someone was making advances on you and making you uncomfortable he's not afraid to just grab you and look at the person with slight apprehension, he's brave about it though.

K: Kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they kiss their s/o, and where do they like to be kissed?)

It's a tie between your cheek and your open palm.

He loves kissing your face, smothering it with affection and love. But one day when he was tasked with waking you up and you lightly pushed his face away he held your palm and planted a kiss against it, ever since he's been enamored by the act itself.

L: Little ones (how are they around kids? do they want kids?)

Dude is too young to even think about kids right now, he's never thought about it really.

When it comes to kids though he's a mix of awkward but very friendly, he's always so nice to kids and is completely ready to play a round of mermaids with a bunch of kids at the pool if he has to.

M: Mornings (how are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings start with a kiss, returning to the open palm kiss thing, he usually gravitates towards kissing your hand or cheek in the mornings because he's conscious about his morning breath.

He's usually up first but is definitely not happy about it, he'll lazily tread into the kitchen and make a warm beverage for you or a light breakfast before getting ready for the day.

Albert likes to do things with you, anything, he'll touch his shoulder against yours as you wash and dry the dishes together. He'll be smudged against you as you brush your teeth together. He'll be humming a tune whilst you help each other make the bed. And he'll sit on the floor with you whilst folding laundry. Mornings are so raw and very domestic with Albert.

N: Nights (how are nights spent with them?)

A quick hearty dinner, few conversations about each other's day and watching a bit of TV before settling in bed.

He's very loopy at night and not very communicative, it takes him a bit to brush his teeth and get ready for bed. He hates the way clothes sometimes cling to his skin when he's exhausted and so he wears very little in bed.

He's actually okay with you having more blankets than him simply for the fact he likes chilly air sometimes.

O: Open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Albert's a mix between the two, if you ask him about something, more often than not he'll tell you outright and honestly.

If you aren't working with the Justice Society or affiliated with them in any way, he's quite reluctant to tell you he's a vigilante working with them. But if you've been dating for a while, maybe 6 months? He'll tell you.

He does like things to go organically though so he'd appreciate it if you don't constantly bombard him with personal questions all at once, he's not secretive but he might not also want to share certain things until your relationship has grown.

P: Patience (how easily do they get angry?)

Albert is very patient and pretty understanding, he's an easygoing guy so it would genuinely take a lot for you to anger him. He's patient with others as well and doesn't immediately act out of anger.

Q: Quizzes (how much do they remember about their s/o? do they remember every detail, or do they forget everything?)

He'll remember random things about you but definitely not every detail, he'll of course remember your birthday and other important dates. But besides that it's a mix up.. like he'll remember your favorite color but sometimes forget your favorite kind of drink so he just buys one of everything if he can.

R: Romantic (how romantic are they? do they go all out for dates, or do they prefer staying home?)

He's not opposed to staying home for dates but when he wants to get to know you better he'd suggest going out to places. He'll absolutely try to go all out on dates however he's far from perfect, still he tries his absolute best for you.

He's romantic without realizing, and does it best when he isn't trying and simply speaking comfortably.

S: Security (how protective are they? how would they protect their s/o?)

He's very protective and thinks about your safety first and foremost. He'd take buildings and bullets for you if he needed to.

T: Try (how much effort would they put in? like dates and gifts?)

He'd put in so much effort it's astounding, he wants to go above and beyond for the one he loves and tries his very best to.

U: Ugly (what are some bad habits of theirs?)

He breaks things very easily without realizing. A habit that forced him to choose softness first because he just breaks and breaks. And some things he breaks he can't replace.

He gets a bit paranoid sometimes, and then feels the excessive need to call you like 10 times within the same hour.

He sometimes gets in this headspace that the people in his life think very little of him or that he's useless and then dwells in this belief without actually asking you or his loved ones. He has the bad habit of keeping bad thoughts and bottled emotions to himself.

V: Vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

He's a mix, on one hand he wants to look his very best and on one hand he doesn't want to go overboard.

W: Whole (would they feel incomplete without their s/o?)

Albert is one of the characters that I think would thrive in a relationship, he puts all his heart in it when he loves you, so without you he'd be beyond devastated. He'd definitely feel lost for a while.

X: Xtra (what’s a random hc for them?)

He's a karaoke CHAMPION

Y: Yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, in general?)

He despises bigotry in every form. He's also not a fan of very judgemental people.

Z: Zzz (do they snore? sleep talk? sleep walk?)

He's a light snorer but that's the extent of it, also has the tendency to try and seek out your body in his sleep.

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Writer Questionnaire

Double tagged by @the-letterbox-archives! It's all under the cut cos this is looong.

Part 1

q1) is writing a hobby or way of life?

Creativity and imagination is a way of life. Writing's just my chosen method of expressing it.

q2) a journal full of writing notes or a clean, completed manuscript?

Completed manuscript haha. I'm not Tolkien, nobody's gonna wanna read my version of the Silmarillon.

q3) who (or what) is your writing inspiration?

Err- Real life, I guess? My dreams, too. I take what I see and make it into a story.

q4) which is worse: someone you “idolise” reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

My first drafts tend to be really neat, so singing. My singing's atrocious.

q5) has writing from someone else’s pov ever changed your own perspective?

Not for writing, but debating? Yeah, sometimes getting put on opp for a case where I'd rather be gov makes me see a whole new world.

q6) tumblr, ao3, livejournal, or ffn?

Tumblr. I like the community here :)

q7) ao3 wordcount, and are you satisfied with it?

Err- My AO3 contains things I would rather not share with this mostly family-friendly blog, but my wordcount's about 30k there. In total, though? 250k words or so.

q8) what movie/book/fic gripped you irrevocably?

Lolita, definitely. I read it as a 13 year old, then as a 15 year old, and as a 17 year old, and it still breaks my heart every time.

q9) what’s the highest compliment you could ever be given, and have you been given it?

The highest compliment would be for someone to say I made them cry/rage/laugh from my writing, and I'm pleased to say I once managed to send a friend into a fit of fury from my writing (it was Heroes that did it, mind you. She really hated Mara.)

q10) what defines your writing style?

I experiment a lot with styles, but I'd say I have 2 main ones. The more high-fantasy descriptive style, and something lighter and more fast-paced.

Part 2:

how long have you had your writing tumblr/writeblr? a fast and loose estimate is fine!

7months or so!

what led you to create it?

I wrote something I was insanely proud of, and felt the need to show it to the world.

what’s your favourite thing about the writeblr community?

The mutual interaction! So fun to watch my brain rot over someone else's OCs, and vice versa.

what’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I'm a nice person, I swear. If I've ever accidentally upset any of you, just tell me! I'll try my best to rectify whatever I did.

is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

Not more, but I'd like to see less politics. My life's stressful enough without that stuff

which wips or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

I'm still dying from The Fae Prince, because holy crap that came out of nowhere and took my brain by storm.

how long have you been working on them?

I never work on projects for long, sadly. I just don't have the attention span for them! My oldest active project right now is Mind of a Mercenary, and it's 7 months old (I started it on New Year's Eve last year)

do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

Yeah. Luna's been a fav of mine since I was a 14 year old, and I always wanted to tell her story. I felt I hadn't done it justice the previous two times I wrote it, so I tried again!

how much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

I only actually think about writing when I'm actively writing, haha. So about 2 hours a day?

when someone asks the dreaded, “what do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

Horror and fantasy! It's pretty easy cos I'm a stickler for those genres.

name any characters you created. side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like!

Hmm... In order of species, Ina Angelborn, Kimael Angelborn, Isobel Angelborn, Hash Brown, Hans-el Ko-clan, Miphala Sa-clan, Cefalin Sa-clan, Katherine Tan (yes Kat's Chinese, get with the program), Michael Woods, Iraela Foundling, Ramaeria Foundling, Maizen Carver, Sonder Woods (no relation), Mara Ng, David I-forgot-his-last-name.

who’s the most unhinged?

Iraela would like to be first place, and Mara would like to think she's last, but I'm afraid first and last gotta go to Ina and David respectively.

who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Naturally, Hans-el, as long as I don't take too close a look at what I'm typing. Otherwise, Luna. Her inner monologue sounds an awful lot like mine.

do you ever cringe at them?

All the time.

how much control do you feel you have over your characters? do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? to what degree? are some less cooperative than others?

That depends. The more I write about a character, the more they refuse to follow instructions. That's what makes Ina so damn hard to write. Woman's lived in my head for a good 15 or so years, now.

what makes you want to follow another writeblr account? do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? do you follow based on wips, or vibes?

I follow them as I see 'em!

what makes you decide against following?

Too much politics. I cannot express how much I hate to see politics on my dash. I have real life for that stuff. Also too much religion/ideology. The only things I tolerate on my dash are fandom, cats, and writblr stuff.

do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Occasionally? I mean, I do try to reach out to whoever I see in the community, even if I haven't followed them yet.

do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

My noodle is currently occupied by JavaScript, so no. But soon, I will have time to go binge everyone's writing again, and I will find my next obsession amongst my moots' writing!

Tagging @cowboybrunch, @theink-stainedfolk, @urnumber1star, @mundanemoongirl, and @gioiaalbanoart (open tag too!) Feel free to choose between part 1 or part 2, or even do the whole thing!

[tavyliasin]

Above Him, Down Below (Smash) - Chapter Links and Summary

I forgot to add the actual summary first I am terrible at this

Yurgir x Gender Neutral Reader

This was a little bit of a test of what I might be able to do, paired with a devious idea on how to work the size difference. This is pure porn without much of a story, and is split into 4 chapters because I got a little carried away and wrote over 10k words when I was aiming for 3-5k tops. Which...is on brand, so enjoy! I hope this is good enough for the dear darlings out there who adore Yurgir, the consensus so far seems to be "o;jefrguonfek SMASH" so I'll take that as "yes, Lia, that hit the spot." I'm not sure when I'll write Yurgir again, there are definitely others who do him far more justice! I'm just here for a good time, loves, and I hope you are too~

Plot Summary

You, the reader, have had a quiet desire tickling the back of your mind for some time now. Yurgir, the huge Orthon who now resides in the House of Hope. He's been in your wildest dreams and fantasies, and now you have a way to make them a reality. Putting a lot on the line, you won the bet and a contract - one that would make you Yurgir's superior for 24 hours. And if there is one thing an Orthon respects, it's the chain of command...

Mood/Song Explode by Written By Wolves "This time I'm set and I'm coming for you Won't take "No" for an answer Nothing you can do You can seal off the entrance Block off the road I won't stop till it's mine or I feel my heart explode

Now is the time I'm taking back what is mine You can try shut the door But you know I'll just tear down the walls (Feel my heart explode) Remember me as I go down in history So don't stand in my way, if I have to then I'll take it all Feel my heart explode

Remember, once it's been said That it can't be unspoken So let the next words you say Be ones that won't leave you broken The time to join me is ticking away with each passing second This is your final warning, consider yourself as threatened"

Links and Chapter Summaries below the cut!

----- -----

Chapter 1 - An Orthon's Appetite 2,791 words

The Oral Sex Chapter SPICE Rating: 4/5 Content Warnings: Oral sex, size difference, power play, mild predator/prey, scent kink

Chapter 2 - Collared Commands 2,486 words

The Hand Sex Chapter SPICE Rating: 4/5 Content Warnings: Very large fingering, size difference, power play, mild predator/prey, scent kink

Chapter 3 - The Orthon, Unleashed 1,519 words

The "Your Body Is Used For His Pleasure" Chapter SPICE Rating: 5/5 Content Warnings: Being used as a fleshlight, size difference, power play, mild predator/prey, scent kink

Chapter 4 - Size Matters 3,231 words

The Size Swap Sex Chapter SPICE Rating: 6/5 Content Warnings: Unwise use of potions, sex, size difference, power play, mild predator/prey, scent kink

Chapter 5 - Bonus Epilogue! 602 Words

The "Yurgir Has a Soft Side" Extra Chapter SPICE Rating: 0.5/5 Content Warnings: None

The Full Piece on AO3

[jasperjv]

Schizophrenia. An illness that, by definition, challenges punitive justice and the determination toward accountability built up online.

Twomad was open about having schizophrenia. Toward the end he was talking to himself in other people's DMs, and this is the clearest symptom of psychosis, at a time in life it peaks (early 20's), and I can't emphasize it enough. Psychosis requires us to give benefit of the doubt and not take what they say, or even do, seriously. The brain processes real life as if it is in a dream or nightmare. It can occur from too high a dose of psychedelics. It used to be called early-onset dementia and has similar effects. I've seen progressives treat those conditions with patience and care. But that being given is so conditional; on how it occurs, and on how it presents.

Clearly the leftism of many of you is severely lacking. You don't really believe in rehabilitative justice, and you'd hate what criminal defense lawyers do, though everyone has a right to one.

I could unpack and give benefit of the doubt for almost everything Twomad did. Like a defense lawyer, I guess. I'd hurt myself psychologically doing that right now. But I at least want to address the Brianna Ghey incident and go from there.

As if I'd want him to die for being transphobic anyway. Speaking for us as a group so extremely like that makes us look bad. Please shut the Hell up.

Referencing something relevant to current events is not necessarily mocking in the context of psychosis. Now we have no idea how it was seen by him in that state. You need an example. When I was in psychosis, I typed "I met [fictional character] and he was BLACK. LAUGH NOW." This was my disorganized speech and thought flying purely off of word association. I had just met a doctor who I felt vaguely matched the occupation of the fictional character, and one thing I kept doing was calling people by the names of characters I associated them with. And in my mind, I was thinking, "if I phrase it this way, it's like the 'I met God, she was black' meme. Now it's in a meme format, how silly." I was chastised by chat and apologized, but lacked any ability to explain myself. It seems possible, and to me perhaps even likely, that this was only a relevant reference and not intended as mockery. He also apologized and deleted the tweet. I recovered, now I'm explaining myself. This is what you'll never get from Twomad now.

Possible starters toward understanding schizophrenia:

Vampire's Kiss (1988)

Yes, I'm serious. And this was meant to be a serious film. I think if Nic Cage hadn't put on that ridiculous accent, that would've been much more effective. It was triggering for me to watch for multiple reasons. Mainly, I felt exactly what it was like to feel compelled and forced to do horrible things harassing the public due to delusion, which was then misunderstood. Because, how CAN you make people understand? When they're in the real world and you're not? Content warning for sexual assault.

Andre Thomas, sentenced to death in Texas

People keep asking, "What's the point of pleading insanity, if not for cases like this?" The kicker is, it's solely defined as whether or not the person knows what they did is wrong, but it doesn't account for so much about what delusions are and how they work. What happens in delusions is, we get an idea about how to solve a problem, even in cases where we know collateral damage will occur, then it doesn't work, we feel sorry we had to do that, and then a different idea pops up in its place. Repeat indefinitely until treated. The system as it is has practically nothing in place to give grace to those struggling with what's called "consensus reality." And it is especially cruel and unforgiving to black people, but I 'm not going to deconstruct that here.

And no, don't come at me with "I have schizophrenia and I didn't do this-or-that." Oh good for you. But I have no cookie to give. Please know that type of statement is a logical fallacy.

It's understandable if you feel safer now that he's not around. And he's no longer in mental distress. Those both are the silver linings. All I'm saying is that it shouldn't have had to take him dying, and being completely gone forever, for the threat to neutralize. I'm saying it's a waste that he couldn't get help instead, and it's a waste he'll never be able to speak for himself again in case anyone ever needed it, it's a tragedy his parents have lost a son, and I'm disappointed. I. Am. Disappointed.

[mandiemegatron]

A lil sneaky peeky of a WIP for @swampstew bc theyre going through a rough time 😭😞 I hope this helps, even just a little! 💖💖 we love you!!!

This idea came to me in a 💫dream💫

Will hopefully be beta'd and posted later today 😎

"So when are we gunna fuck?"

You coughed on your drink, wide eyes looking up at the red-headed menace you called your friend. You knew you liked each other; the way his eyes always undressed you when he thought you didn't notice, or the way his laugh echoed inside your body like an addictive drug...

But never had he been so bold as to ask you something like that directly to your face.

"I uh, that's incredibly ballsy of you, Eustass."

The man grinned and barked out a laugh as his fleshy hand landed over his heart.

"Ugh, I love it when you say my name - you should definitely scream it for me later."

Your cheeks burned bright red, your eyes still wide as the words ran laps in your head over over. He had flirted with you before, but nothing to this extent.

"...Are you drunk?" Your words pierced him, but he hid the pang of bitterness with an almost sneer as he replied with a bite,

"I don't need to be drunk to tell you I want to fuck you."

You were silent for a moment, eyes finally wandering his body until they landed back on his face. His eyes always told the truth, and he was not lying about this. One of your eyebrows ticked up, a small smirk washing over your lips as you finally replied,

"Well then, why don't you show me just how sober you are?"

It was a blur, the next few moments. He had picked you up so easily, throwing you over a shoulder as your surprised and dark red face met the few crew still awake and watching with amused expressions.

"Get 'er, Captain, you fuckin' dog!" Someone cheered out, your face burning worse as Kid's metal hand came up to slap you on the ass, hard enough to pull a sound from you.

He gave a rumbling chuckle before quite literally barking out,

"Woof."

// ; // ; // ; // ; //

I love you all, I can't wait to finish this 😎 it's my first time writing for Kid so I hope I do him justice.

The man makes me feel things, it's all your fault @swampstew 😭😂

[musinghotline]

MILGRAM TRIAL 2 MVs : Sentence Starters

Lyrics from the second trial music videos of the MILGRAM project! Feel free to change as needed.

"Don't leave me alone."

"I want to be by your side."

"Why was I born this way?"

"I will definitely make you love me again!"

"It wasn't a mistake, I wasn't wrong!"

"Hug me again as you once did."

"Can I be your favorite this time?"

"Am I still innocent?"

"Poor naive little girl? That's so off the mark."

"Don't measure me against your morality."

"Just shut it, would you, you know-it-all?"

"Innocent? I'm so not that."

"Who needs your self-righteous pardon?"

"Where'd you get your half-baked sense of justice?"

"So nauseating... so creepy... Will you please disappear?"

"Is it all okay if I offer penance?"

"The fight's up here!"

"Come up to the ring and face me!"

"Should I succumb and make your wish come true?"

"Full of yourselves, are you?"

"Just one mistake, and I'm out of chances."

"Bless me, please, with one more chance."

"Tears aren't enough, there's no way it's going to end."

"There's no solace for my heart."

"Are both sides losers?"

"I told you, I'm the queen."

"Don't you think it's wonderful to control them with my gentle sting?"

"If you betray me out of jealousy, you know what's gonna happen to you."

"It's not my fault. I am absolutely right."

"I am innocent, as everyone desires."

"Sorry for hurting you, but I didn't mean it."

"Don't hate me."

"I can't take it anymore. I surrender."

"Now I see, the world is cruel and merciless."

"See? I'm indispensable."

"I yearn to be found guilty."

"In that case, give me the chance to make amends."

"I want to be innocent... I want to live!"

"I don't yet know the correct answer, but there are lives that need saving."

"I can't even breathe anymore."

"It's okay for everyone else, but not for me."

"If you won't tell me, I can't be me."

"This can't go on, something's got to give."

"I even love saying the words I love you!"

"My emotions are out of control!"

"That's inconvenient? I don't care!"

"Tell me, why won't you just accept me?"

"I don't need anyone else, as long as I have you."

"I could do anything as long as it made you smile."

"If I could see you again, I wonder, what would I say and how?"

"I know I have no right, crossed and covered in sin."

"Why can't I just do it right?"

"Lie, until it gets better."

"Since when have I ignored my feelings?"

"It's better to be a let down than to be let down yourself."

"So it's wrong? Oh, shove that!"

"It's for the sake of true love- who wouldn't lie for that?"

"Phew, oh wow, I'm drunk."

"Hey, if I said I like-liked you, what would you do?"

"I gotta keep it inside and act."

"I realize the futility, but I still can't help but dream."

"I can't stop, I can't be normal."

"This feeling can't be gratified."

"Let's take a breather."

"To be caressed by you, that would be perfection."

"I want to be loved, just like a cat."

"We must not give in to them, they are the ones that should be judged."

"With pure, unsullied body and soul, let us preach all that is true and right!"

"That makes them doubtlessly, clearly, absolutely, unequivocally, beyond any doubt, GUILTY!"

"Eyes corrupted must be crushed."

"So nary a sound can be uttered again, I'll crush your throat too."

"It's now your turn to give that hopeless apology."

"Here and now, it's my turn to tear you apart."

"I'll give back the judgment that you gave to me."

"You're sorry? I don't care!"

"Please go ahead and die already."

"Remember my cries, my repents, my apologies?"

"I've got you, leave it to me!"

"Doesn't matter if you wished for it or not, you can't get rid of me now."

"Just the two of us- relieved, aren't you?"

"I'll protect us."

"All I did was dream, and that's what you found guilty?"

"Hey now, I saved you, right? So why the hell are you crying?"

"Hoist me up as your savior."

"You're already broken."

"I'll take it all on."

"Some days are hard, but... I'm doing alright, don't worry."

"Come to know me as an honest man."

"Hey, I just wanted to save you, so why did it come to this?"

"If only I were never born, if only..."

"I'm so sorry."

"Isn't it so ridiculous?"

"Bringing back the cocky hero again? How embarrassing."

"Who don't we want? Give me the verdicts."

"Don't you dare stop now!"

"I want a reason for judgment and execution."

"Give me the next target."

"Sympathy is useless."

"Hate evil as the evil that it is."

"Come on, rely on me."

"They're still here, it grates me."

[xzho-writes]

TENTENNNNN okoks I'll ramble abt my faves first and then send in other fluff later if I can think of anything HIHI

you already pretty much know why and how I started loving sir tartagalicious but!!! one of the things that helped me out the most was imagining him pushing my wheelchair around. a lot of the time it was really bumpy and painful to go anywhere but then I think he'd have taken care to wheel me places without causing too much pain <3 there were a lot of days where I felt very miserable and helpless, but he always managed to make it brighter! he and genshin in general gave me something to look forward in those times ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

HEIHEI MY BELOVED! idk man he just radiates comforting vibes, this lil defender of justice and protector of dreams. every voiceline he has feels warm and inviting and so ahsgshshdhfhd for an introvert like me,,, and even if he has troubles he doesn't allow it to hold him back from what he wants to do!!!! which is so so so SO cool in my eyes :(((

one thing I love abt scara's lore is that it perfectly, PERFECTLY describes what it is like to live with a reforged heart. I don't have enough words to describe it but every!!!! single!!!!! detail!!!!!! the endless search for your own identity as you try to understand your own emotions and be a good puppet!!!!!! the emptiness once you achieve your goal because you realised it was never yours in the first place!!!! and finally, the pain and agony that comes when a broken heart finally begins to heal, only to be followed by the peace of knowing that you will soon be whole again.... don't make me repeat this but your honour I love him so much and I can't wait for him

ANNIE DEAREST!!!

tartannie will always be my truest ship for that very reason! he was there during your most trying times, and i feel like he truly would’ve taken such good care of you :( despite being such a brute on the battlefield he definitely seems like the type to be gentle around those he cares about (coff coff you and his sibs). i am very biased but rightfully so he will always be the true route in my heart HAJDJWJJF

and heizou really does radiate soothing and comforting vibes. i feel like his eng va really sets the feeling in stone i’m so whipped for his eng voice, it’s so smooth and suave 😭😭 i also feel like he’s one of the more realistic genshin people in the way that i can actually imagine myself meeting someone like him irl

i know i’m not a massive scara fan but i know when to appreciate good writing when i see it. his lore is very in depth and i feel like the writers did him really well. it’s very angsty but it shows how good the writers in hoyo’s team are. it’s also pretty neat to have a character you really relate to since it brings a whole LOAD of other feelings out

[violet-knox]

young severus with a male gryffindor reader? or just a male reader in general

Leap of Faith

Pairing: Male!Reader x Young!Severus

Summary: After finally finding the courage you lacked all these years as a Gryffindor, you finally found enough of it to ask out your one and only crush, excited and nervous to go on your first date.

Warnings: Mention of child neglect, abuse and lack of self worth, but it's mostly fluff

Word Count: 3524

A/N: So first things first. I'm SO SORRY to the anon who requested this. I don't even know how long it's been, I hope you're still around to read it because I by no means did not plan for it to take this long. Life got away from me, I stopped writing for a while and then had a lot to catch up on (still trying to catch up on).

On another note...

I understand the need to ask for physical specifics for the reader when it comes to under represented Snape x reader fics, and while I have no issue with this, I would really prefer if some sort of plot was also indicated. It just makes it easier for me to come up with a storyline when I have more than just a physical description of the reader since that isn’t something I usually concentrate on with the exception of smut. 

It was a bit difficult for me to figure out what I wanted to write for this request since my first instinct is to keep away from specifying the gender of the reader and while I do try to keep the reader gender neutral even if the request specified the reader as female, I just didn’t feel like that was an appropriate thing to do for this one for two different reasons: first, if I kept the reader gender neutral, that sort of defeats the purpose of the request since I’d be left with just “Gryffindor reader” (which I’ve done before) and second, Snape x male readers are scarce and this was a good opportunity for me to expand from my comfort writing bubble and contribute to a less targeted demographic. 

I wouldn’t call myself a natural writer, it isn’t something I’ve ever been comfortable with and it took a lot to get to the point where I am now so this was definitely a challenge since I’d gotten so comfortable in the bubble of reusing the same few very similar characters (usually only varying in Hogwarts house placement) to put in place of the reader while I wrote (this is just part of my writing process as I can’t really write imagining a ball of nothing in place of the reader while I write). I hope I did justice to the request despite my non-existent experience writing for male readers and I’m happy I got the opportunity to push myself.

You could still remember it, that first time you met him on the train before you’d even arrived at Hogwarts. He’d stormed out of his compartment and bumped straight into you, a boy who’d just found out a few weeks ago that he was a Wizard. You were a nobody, a shadow to him. You would never even dream of someone like him, someone who grew up knowing all about the Wizarding World to know your name. You’d always wondered what caused him to run out of that compartment so fast, though over the years, overhearing James and Sirius talking and laughing in the boy’s dorm about ‘that slimy git’ who wouldn’t leave Lily alone, you could only guess that they’d begun their abuse that same day, seeing them smirking and laughing when you passed the compartment window.

Every year you’d go back to the Muggle world, hiding who you truly were in fear of expulsion only to return to a school to hide yet another part of who you were. Gryffindors were supposed to be brave, yet you were far from it. You couldn’t bring yourself to tell anyone the truth, let alone the one person in the entire castle you’d grown to care for. Your heart broke every time you heard whispers of Severus pining over Lily and over the years, you’d convinced yourself that you wouldn’t have to reveal yourself because the one person you cared for couldn’t care for you back. But oh how badly you wanted to. It wasn’t until you spoke with Lily that you realized he cared for her because she was the first and only person who treated him like a human being that deserved to live. She was the first person to show him a glimpse of friendship while everyone else around him treated him like he was worthless.

It wasn’t fair to him. It wasn’t fair that you were the only one who could see the beauty and grace in his loyalty, his passion and admiration for greatness. It took everything you had not to shout at the world for mistreating him, defending him against the universe that seemed determined to test him time and time again. But you couldn’t. What would people think? You were barely friends with him. In fact, you didn’t even know he remembered you until he called your name, asking if you had a spare quill you could lend him in class a few months ago. All these years later, after pining over him, watching him from a far, fantasizing about your name escaping his lips, he’d remembered your first run in, the first conversation you’d ever had with someone at Hogwarts. After that day, you thought of nothing but all the missed opportunities you’d had to speak with him, get to know him and it was at that moment that you decided you’d stayed in the shadows enough. You had to take action, else you would have spent the rest of your life wondering what if.

The blood rushed through your veins as your heart worked overtime to keep from exploding when you first approached him. After all the anticipation and fantasizing these last five years, your first real conversation wasn’t as bad as you imagined. He was reserved of course, defensive as always, but open to your words. He listened and spoke with you as an equal, recognizing the fact that you were nothing like the Gryffindors that harassed him, that you were very much still that kind boy that spoke with him that first day on the Hogwarts Express, salvaging his first experience in the Wizarding World. These last few months were the best months of your life. You spent every second of everyday thinking about Severus, looking forward to seeing him whenever you could, finding a sense of relief when you finally took that extra step and asked him out.

You were so scared. Rejection was a natural thing of course, everyone experiences it, but that wasn’t your fear. You risked asking him out because you weren’t sure he’d be interested in boys and if he wasn’t, you worried what little progress you’d made with yourself would crumble into a million pieces. Would he laugh at you? Would he run away in disgust? Tell the whole school your secret? But he didn’t do any of that. He actually accepted like it was the most natural and logical question you could have asked. He acted as if you’d asked him if he’d finished his Potion’s homework, like it was the most obvious question in the world and you couldn’t have been more grateful.

Your smile didn’t fade until the next day, your mind wandering in class to what your first date might be like. Would he be as nervous as you? Would you talk as if it was just another day? Would you share your first kiss at the end? You didn’t know what to expect, but you finally felt ready and that was enough for you. You woke up an hour early to get dressed. You went through every single item you had in your trunk, tossing it upside down until you finally felt comfortable enough to leave the dorm for breakfast. It had snowed the night before, the entire castle grounds covered in a pure white, the sun shining behind a few clouds, shimmering against the white flakes. Hogwarts had never looked so magical though you wondered if your imagination and excitement exaggerated the scenery.

“(Y/N).” You heard him call for you and your heart nearly jumped out of your chest, your smile returning as you turned around to see him approaching you. His hair looked much softer than usual, sleek and shiny. The expression he wore had you wondering if his initial acceptance of this date was all a mirage. His eyes were sharp, his jaw tense. He was trying very hard not to look nervous.

“Severus,” you nearly choked on his name, as if you weren’t worthy enough to speak it. “So, you want to tell me where we’re going?”

“Not just yet,” he said, looking back at you with that half smile he rarely ever showed and a devious twinkle in his eye. You couldn’t recall the last time you ever saw him wearing a full God honest smile. First year perhaps? He always looked like the world had wronged him, like he wasn’t allowed the happiness everyone craved. Maybe one day you’d see him give you a proper smile, that would be the day you knew you’d done right by him.

“I seem to recall that I was the one that asked you out,” you replied, picking up your pace to catch up to him. He was always so calculated, a bit opposite to your own persona. But perhaps that was a good thing. He could balance out your spontaneous nature and add a bit of mystery to your life. You couldn’t lie though, a part of you worried he kept the location of your date a secret to trick you into some horrible trap. Would the entire school be waiting for you, laughing at you? Or would he try and harm you in some way as revenge for asking him out?

“Yes, but it’s your own fault for not preparing a location, or a date for that matter which gives me all the right to withhold our destination from you.” Typical of a Gryffindor to act before thinking. But he couldn’t blame you for the courageous act you took. In truth, he’d been hoping you felt towards him as he did you. But you were a Gryffindor, you slept in the same dorm as Potter, ate at the same table, he could never bring himself to ask of your interest in him because he knew rejection would lead to much more than a broken heart. He would be humiliated beyond belief, driven to an unbearable life.

Lily was the only other person that knew his secret. She was his best friend, until Potter entered her life and did everything in his power to make her hate him all because of one conversation on the train to Hogwarts. Potter was the living example of what ignorance brought, and he could never tell anyone about his affection towards a boy like you because of that. He could only be grateful that you’d approached him, thankful that you showed truth in your eyes when you had no plans beyond asking him out. Even if it was a trick, even if you’d planned something with Potter, he had control, he chose when to meet, where to meet, where you’d go.

“We’re not going into the Forbidden Forest, are we?” You began to worry as you saw Severus leading you towards the forest. You were all for exploration and adventures, but students weren’t allowed in there and for good reason.

“I thought Gryffindor’s were supposed to be brave,” Severus teased with a smug smirk. He’d always wanted to explore the forest, knowing full well what sort of creatures awaited him in there, but such a place was not appropriate for a first date. Perhaps on your fifth date, he’d propose the idea. Fifth date. He spoke to himself as if the future was set in stone, like that one question you’d asked him had cemented your relationship, a binding honest agreement that couldn’t be broken.

“Severus, you know we aren’t allowed to roam around in there,” you almost spoke with a stern voice, but more than anything, you were simply worried and unprepared for such an adventure and in all honesty, you didn’t think you could focus on anything other than this date going well. You would absolutely die if the one boy you’d ever asked out ended up not liking you. What were you to do if this date was a disaster? You could never bring yourself to ask out another boy again, and worst of all, you could never speak to or look at Severus ever again.

“Relax, we’re not entering the forest,” he eased your mind, slowing down a bit to get near you. “There’s a hidden path beside the forest, that’s where we’re going.”

You looked over to where Severus was pointing and smiled in relief. You’d never noticed this trail and as you approached it, you began to wonder if anyone other than Severus had discovered it. It wasn’t something you’d notice if you weren’t specifically looking for it and for a moment, you wondered how Severus found it. You followed behind him on the path, watching him confidently walk through the trail that only fit one, wondering how often he’d walked this path. The trail was so narrow, almost perfectly fitting Severus’ physique as if he was the only person to have ever walked this way before, like it was made for him, or perhaps made by him.

“Not much further,” Severus assured you, feeling anxious to make it to the end of the path, wishing the path was wide enough to accommodate you both side by side, and perhaps, one day, if you continued to date, it would. He’d lost count of the number of times he’d walked through this trail, and the more he did, the more he feared someone else would discover it. He hadn’t told anyone about his discovery since the day Potter chased him off into the Forbidden Forest, the trail he found saving him from a certain doom. Not even Lily knew he’d run off here from time to time.

The path suddenly widened and Severus turned back, waiting for you to catch up. You looked over at the clearing the path had led to, trees surrounding it like a barrier, the grass covered in a thin layer of snow. It was an amazing little area and you couldn’t believe more people didn’t know about this place.

“This way,” Severus continued onwards, walking through some trees, leading to a steep incline. You followed him, wondering what more there was to see. You didn’t have to walk far as Severus stopped, enchantedly staring down a cliff. Joining him, you could see why he was excited to get here. The cliff stared down at Hogwarts, the castle seeming miniscule from this distance. Everything was covered in a light layer of snow and you were in absolute awe at the sight.

“Wow,” you whispered in amazement, trying to take in every inch of the scenery, the feeling of the sun shining down on you, the cold air breezing through your hair. This was definitely first date worthy, a place to remember and enjoy in the future.

“I’m glad you like it,” Severus said, staring at you, relieved everything had been going smoothly so far. This was it, the moment of belief that this was real. Someone had shown actual interest in him and beyond friendship for that matter. It felt surreal, like he wasn’t ready for such a privilege, but he enjoyed the feeling of being wanted very much, a feeling unfamiliar to him.

“It’s amazing! I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.”

“No one knows about this place,” Severus spoke softly, his voice shaking as he finally realized what he’d done. The one place in this entire world he felt safe, the one place he felt belonged to him was no longer so. Someone else shared it with him now, someone else had stepped foot where he believed no one else had been. He’d opened up this place, himself to this virtual stranger. But you weren’t a stranger, you were the boy who salvaged his first day at Hogwarts, the boy that secretly stood by him all these years, the boy that now knew more about him than his own best friend.

“Oh?” You raised a brow at him, wondering what was running through his mind, why he seemed so scared all of a sudden.

“I discovered it a few years ago and put a spell on the path to derail anyone else from finding it,” Severus confessed. You could go running to your Head of House, to the Headmaster, or even worse, his Head of House. He would surely be expelled in a moment's notice, something he was sure Potter would love to see. There was still a chance, a chance you might betray him, but his heart told him his mind was wrong. His thoughts were trying to poison the pure and loving connection between you as they usually did and he wouldn’t let them win this time.

“Then why was I able to follow you?” You asked in awe. You always knew Severus was a gifted Wizard, that his skills went beyond what you were taught in class. If anyone was going to grow up to change the world, it would be Severus. But the level of talent that required a spell such as this was beyond the knowledge of even a Seventh year and you could only imagine the sort of amazing things he could accomplish after graduation.

“Because you’re with me,” he said in an obvious sort of way. You smiled at him, your curiosity peaked. Clearly he used this spot for a specific purpose and either this was a special place to him, a place reserved just for him and his thoughts, in which case, it was rather sweet that he brought you here, or...

“Do you bring all your dates here then?”

Severus looked at you a bit stunned, wondering if that was a serious question or not. Did he look like the sort of person that would attract the attention of more than one person? Or did you think of him as some sort of predator?

“I’ve never brought anyone here,” he answered honestly, “and… I’d like for it to remain that way. Please don’t tell anyone I brought you here.”

He pleaded with you with the widest eyes you’d ever seen, eyes that begged you for your compliance and you knew that this truly was a special place for him. You did know what to say, what to think. He trusted you with this? He opened up to you enough to share this secret, this place that clearly meant a lot to him. There really was only one thing you could say: “I won’t”

You smiled at him, taking a step towards him and reaching for his hand. You slid your fingers along his icy palm and intertwined his long thin fingers with yours. Closing your grip, you stared into his eyes, hoping he understood how grateful you were for his trust, his openness and his honesty. Severus squeezed your hand as he looked back at you, his heart beating faster with worry and excitement. Where was this date going to go? He’d only planned for the worst, he’d only planned what to do when this date eventually went sideways, but what was he to do when it was going so well? He couldn’t even begin to comprehend why someone like you would ask him out, how was he to deal with the truth and honesty spilled out in front of him, staring at him with comfort and want. He didn’t understand, he didn’t know why this was happening to him.

“Why-why did you ask me out?” He asked, needing an answer, needing reassurance this wasn’t a trick, that this was real, that you had a real and valid reason for wanting this, for wanting him.

“Honestly Severus, I couldn’t stop thinking about you since the day we first met. I’ve wanted to ask for a while and only managed to find the courage to do so now.” You were taken a bit by surprise at the question, but he wasn’t exactly popular with your peers. He was a loner, the person people whispered about behind his back so you understood his lack of self-worth and hesitation.

“But why me?”

“Because I think you’re brilliant,” you said honestly, deciding honesty was the only way about this. You’d both opened up so much to each other already, a good start to what you hoped would be a long and fruitful relationship and honesty was how you were going to move that relationship forward. You looked at Severus, realizing you had a ways to go before he believed any compliment coming out of your mouth. He stared at you as if you were speaking a different language, as if you didn’t understand the question and had spoken of someone else. “The day we first met, you told me that you’d always looked forward to going to Hogwarts, because you felt that it could provide you with something you’d never had before; a home. A place to be accepted, to be who you were freely without fear of discovery. I understood how you felt, because that’s all I’d ever wanted as well.”

Severus’ eyes narrowed as he began to digest what you just said, trying to sort through every word, every tone in your voice, every facial expression you gave him until he finally understood. “Acceptance?”

You nod your head with a smile, your shoulders dropping in relief. He understood you, he knew what it was like and finally you found someone that could relate to how you felt. You’d never felt so willing to open yourself up to someone before, so trusting and it scared you. But you were ready for this chapter in your life. You were tired of living in your own little bubble, you needed someone to share with, someone that would understand you.

“So, this place is a disappointment to us both then,” Severus stated smugly, looking down at the castle that was supposed to be his salvation. There were times where he was glad he was away from home, glad he could use his magic, but Potter and his friends made sure to remind him that he didn’t belong, that he deserved the abuse he endured all his life.

“I wouldn’t say that.” You brought his gaze back towards you and smiled. “I accept you, Severus.”

And for the first time since you’d met him, you saw a hint of a real smile appear on his face. He looked happy, like those four words were all he’d ever wanted to hear, all he ever needed to finally feel worthy of existing.

“I suppose Hogwarts did give us what we were looking for,” he whispered in absolute bliss. He couldn’t believe how gleeful he felt. His heart fluttering with joy and love, his eyes sparkling, the blood returning to his face, the warmth of your hand giving him life. For the first time ever, he felt happy.

“It certainly did,” you whispered back before leaning in to connect your lips with his. Severus’ lips moved with yours, his hands gripping you tightly as he leaned into your kiss like it was a lifeline. Your hearts beating in unison, the spark between you lighting into a flame larger than the sun as both your futures together began that very moment. One kiss to change the course of a singular person, one kiss to ignite a lasting romance, one kiss to save the world.

[captainmalewriter]

Not so Accidental Possession

It was an accident when I discovered my power. My power to possess another person.

You see, I've been able to astral project my spirit out of my body for years now. At first, when I was just a kid, I thought it was just a really vivid dream. Like how Peter Pan and those kids flew through the night. I thought that was what was happening to me. Dad always said I just had a creative imagination and that'd I grow out of it. But I never did. I did, however, learn how to control it as I got older and practiced. That feeling of floating and flying around is so out of this world. It's like swimming effortlessly through the refreshing air. Hell, I don't even know if words can do it justice.

But astral projection wasn't the only thing I was capable of. One night while I was projecting, I flew into my Dad's room while he slept soundly. It felt weird seeing another person from high up. Then, I got curious. I floated down to my Dad and reached out to touch him. I wondered what would happen if I touched another person while I was projecting. That was when my spirit got sucked right into my Dad's body. I couldn't even escape it, my spirit was trapped by some powerful force, all while my Dad was groaning in his sleep. I awoke in my Dad's body and screamed bloody hell. The shock was enough to send me flying out of my Dad and back to my own body.

That happened when I was 13. Luckily for me, my Dad believes he was just sleep walking that night six years later. I've gotten better at entering another person's body while projecting over the years. The first few times were rough, one time the guy even woke up and forced me out through sheer willpower! But I learned how to do it properly, and now I can control everything. I never wanna possess my Dad ever again, but other men? I have no problem borrowing their bodies and having a little fun.

The only downside I discovered was that if I do too many possessions too quickly, I get massive migraines that last days in my real body. No matter, I don't mind waiting a week or so if it means I get to have fun without any painful side effects. And tonight, I'm gonna possess the new neighbor on the block. Apparently he moved in down the block a month ago. I only noticed when he started jogging shirtless around the street.

He immediately caught my interest. I've talked to him a few times, and I've learned he's a pretty cool guy. His name's Ricky, and he's in his early 30's. He moved here because he wanted to start a new life in a new place. Pretty admirable. His voice was so soothing to the ears. Yeah, Ricky was definitely my next target. And tonight's the night I step into the driver's seat of a new body.

I waited until well after midnight to begin the process. It's always a tricky process the night I wanna astral project. I gotta stay awake, but I also need to stay just a little bit sleepy. Makes it easier to project. I opened my bedroom door a crack and heard my Dad snoring from the master bedroom across the hallway. Good. He's asleep and won't be an interference. I took off all of my clothes and slipped into bed naked. I closed my eyes, and focused all my concentration.

Breath in... Breath out... Breath in... Breath out... Breath in......

......Done.

I felt myself being much lighter as I began floating up into the air. I opened my eyes and saw my now soulless body laying unconscious on my bed.

"See you soon," I said to myself before I flew out my house.

I was on my way to Ricky's house. It took me a while to figure out exactly which house he lived in. I didn't wanna stalk the guy, but I also didn't wanna waste time flying into every single house until I found him. But now I know that his house is the very last one on the street, and that's where I went as fast as I could. I passed through the house walls and into what I think was the living room. The lights were off, but that's no problem when you're a spirit. I went down the closest hall and noticed a closed door with some light peeking underneath the door. I passed through the door, and there he was. Ricky was sleeping in his boxers. Dude left the TV on too, he was probably tired.

"Alright, go time," I hyped myself up. I hovered closer to Ricky until I was directly above him. I got into a diver's position and dove straight down into Ricky, who was still slightly awake and noticed me while yawning.

"What the... HOLY SHIT! " I heard Ricky cry out when I dove down. I touched his chest and felt myself starting to get sucked in. Ricky, in his panic, started swinging his arms at me. It was no use, I was already halfway absorbed into Ricky, it was too late to turn back now. This wasn't the first time I accidentally misjudged whether a target was sleeping or not. But I can't be kicked out that easily, not anymore anyway. The possession was nearly complete, the last thing I heard before getting completely absorbed was Ricky breathing erratically in his panic.

"You'll be in good hands, Ricky."

My vision went pitch black for a minute. That meant it was a success, I just needed to wait until my spirit aligned itself with Ricky's body. When I felt myself become heavy, I opened my eyes and looked down right away. I saw Ricky's chest, which is now my chest. Another successful possession. I sat up in the bed and immediately began exploring my new body. I was loving it, that is until someone knocked on the closed bedroom door.

"Hey Ricky, you still up?" Some guy asked from the other side.

"Shit! " I mouthed silently. "Yeah, come in!" I said before I even realized it.

Then a handsome man with a beard walked in, though he didn't go much further than the doorway. God damn... I think I just found my target for next week.

"Sorry if I'm bothering, I just wanted to thank you for letting me crash on your couch while I got back on my feet," the man said. Great. I hated ad-libbing.

"Yeah man, of course, anything for you."

"Yeah, it's kinda funny when you think about it. First it was you crashing at my house, and now the table's have turned."

"Life's crazy huh,"

"Yeah, she's a bitch," he laughed, and I laughed too. "I'm glad to have a friend like you Ricky, someone that's stuck by me through thick and thin."

"C'mon man... Ricky's not here right now, please don't start..." I said to myself. I forgot I had a resting bitch face that followed me no matter who I was, and this guy noticed it.

"You good?"

"Huh? Oh... Yeah, just, thinking about life," I said.

"I hear that, you're not still thinking about the divorce are you?"

"Huh? What divorce?"

"Atta boy! You don't need Kathy anymore, she was toxic as fuck."

I guess Ricky used to be married to someone named Kathy? No good, the topic was going into uncharted territory. I needed to remedy this before I got caught.

"Yeah... Thanks for helping me get out of that mess," I said to him. 

"Anytime. I may not be straight, but I know a failing relationship when I see one."

“Did I hear that right? Oh I can work with this, ” I thought to myself. 

“We really have been ride or die’s huh. Hey, come sit, you’ve been standing there this whole time,” I patted the empty space on the bed next to me. His raised his eyebrow for a second, but then he walked over and sat down. “I’m so glad to have a friend like you.” I said to him as I looked into his eyes.

“Me too, I’m glad we met back in elementary school,” he was looking back at me, and I could see his dilate a little bit as he spoke. 

I reached out and placed my hand on his cheek. He did the same, I could feel the gentle touch of his hand on my cheek. We never broke eye contact. I took a shot and leaned in, but he leaned back just far enough so I wouldn’t reach.

“Hey man, I thought we agreed what happened in Vegas stays in Vegas.” 

“C’mon, what’s one more time?” I reached out to him and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into me. He didn’t fight it, we were much closer now. “What happens in this room, stays in this room,” I whispered into his ear. 

I titled my head back so I could look into his eyes again. I could tell he wanted this as much as I wanted it, maybe even more. Then, to my surprise, he kissed me first. I kissed him back, with as much passion I could muster. Ricky was already in his boxers, but I had to undress him too. I began unbuttoning his shirt as we kissed. We stopped only so he could take it off, and although he wanted to continue as soon as he was shirtless, I leaned in to kiss his neck instead. I kissed his neck, he moaned, and I began working my way down to his chest. I rubbed his hairy pecs and sucked on his nipples for a bit, before he placed his hands on my face and pulled me back up for more kissing.

We fell back onto the bed while we kissed. He slipped in a little tongue, and I did the same. It was an intense moment of pure bliss. We stopped for a moment and gazed into each other’s eyes. 

I could feel the love this guy had for Ricky, it definitely went beyond platonic love. But there was no time for thinking about it, as I went back in for another kiss. 

Soon enough, I began working my way down his body to his shorts. He was hard, and so was I, my boxers could barely contain my dick anymore. I took them off, and he took off his shorts and briefs at the same time. Then, I went down on him. I sucked his dick while fingering his hole, and his moans grew louder. We kept this position for a while before I started craving more.

“You want this dick?” I teased while I slipped in another finger into his ass. 

“Fuck yeah, fuck me hard Ricky...!” he said in between moans, and I did as he wished. I adjusted myself while he raised his legs up. I spit onto my dick, and rubbed it against his hole to tease him again. He groaned, practically begging for me to put it in. I pushed my dick into his hole, and the head went right in. I moaned. I slowly began thrusting further into him, inch by inch. I paused midway and leaned in to kiss him. I kept sliding my dick further into him while we tongue kissed, until I was finally balls deep in him. 

I started off slow at first, until I found my rhythm and he started telling me to go harder. His legs were now resting on my shoulders as I pounded his ass. It was hot in the room, and we started sweating while we fucked. The smell of our musk filled the the room. My balls were clapping against his ass. His eyes were closed as he took my dick, moaning and grunting with each thrust. My senses were on fire, and it only turned me on more. I fucked him as hard as I could, and he was jerking himself off as I did so. It was raw, it was intense, and it was filled with passion. 

“Oh fuck... I’m gonna cum... Aaauuughhhh!” I was close. 

“Nrrrgh me too!!” He started gasping for breath as he shot cum all over my chest and himself. I couldn’t take it anymore either. But I couldn’t pull out in time, I was too close. Instead I thrusted my dick as deep as I could, shooting my load deep inside him. 

We’re were moaning like wild animals in heat. Then, the heat started to build down as we were trying to catch our breath after climaxing. I was tired, I fucked with everything I had. I leaned forward and laid my head against his chest, dick still inside him. He put his arms around me and squeezed me into him. I never felt more loved than I did in that moment. 

The night took a really different turn than what I had planned for. I was just gonna go clubbing inside Ricky’s body. But this was way better than anything I could have ever planned for.