#i don't go out of my way to attack ppl directly when they are being stalkerish a-holes

[oreana-galena]

Jald, don't fuck with me.

I swear it.

I'll join your fandom too if you so much as try this BS.

CW below cut: mentions of trafficking.

[antlerqueer]

sorry im literally putting all of my complaints about ppl's critiques of leave the world behind here bc it's alll..... like what? so i literally looked up interviews from sam esmail and rumaan alam and i'm not crazy!!! the things i was like "this is the opposite of what was going on??" were actually the opposite of what was going on.

Some criticism I've seen is people saying "the movie mocks Rose's dependence on technology with the final scene" but it was like... Rose's journey was seeking her own solution to not wanting to be miserable and inside and waiting for death?? And she found it??

Quote from Sam Esmail, from Rolling Stone (emphasis mine):

During the early days of the pandemic, I remember how we were all very scared. We were scared for our loved ones, we were scared for one another, we were scared for ourselves. People were dying on a daily basis and we were locked in and trapped. There was this real sense of fear and anxiety. And then Tiger King dropped on Netflix and that was all we could talk about for weeks.  As silly as that show is, I love that we as a community dropped our differences to engage with this story and to laugh with it and talk about it. I just found that very human. I love when you can mix tragedy and comedy like that because I do think the essence of tragic comedy speaks directly to who we are and to the human condition.  So when I was constructing this story, I felt that throughout all this bleakness, to have this character, Rose, escape into something comfortable — I thought that was just something that felt like a kind of universal touchstone.

Rumaan Alam, the author, also says this to Variety:

I say it’s funny, but I don’t think it’s a joke. I don’t think it’s a joke on Rose. I don’t think it’s a joke on the audience. I don’t think it’s a joke on “Friends.” It’s a reminder that art is kind of a salve.

Sam Esmail LOVES media. He's not fucking condemning a child for wanting comfort????? Anyway. The dependence on technology isn't a point of inherent criticism, it is a point of what do we do when our survival is reliant on technology but we lose it. It's part of the horror. It's scary.

Literally, a quote from Esmail in GQ:

[It] really kind of underlines the theme of this reliance on tech, and once it goes away, what are we left with? And that in its own way is pretty terrifying.

I've seen it said Julia Roberts's character was "redeemed" in the film from her bad actions, which I so heavily disagree with, and so does Rumaan Alam, in the Variety interview:

In that final scene between Julia and Myha’la, they don’t embrace. Even prior to that, when they’re in that little shed and come to a détente, Ruth acknowledges that there’s some truth to the things that Amanda has said, that they’re in agreement about something, but it doesn’t end with a hug. It’s not that kind of story.

(A detente is "the easing of hostility or strained relations" - not a reprieve or a reconciliation, but an easing.)

These characters don't have to like or forgive each other to agree that there are things more important to survival and making it through than Amanda being overbearing and racist. Ruth lost her mother and even though Amanda steps in and maybe saves her life (we don't know what the deer were gonna do) that is not an apology! And it's not treated like one because we don't see any sort of forgiveness from Ruth!

And then the whole "it's an attack from a foreign government making the US a victim" shit. Like... GH theorizes, out loud, that this could be the US government's doing? Anyway.

[ca-suffit]

I generally *don't* dislike devils minion as a ship. I like it even...But sometimes I think about blocking it even though there is good content i like to see on it.

But the tag is filled with people who hate loumand, people who try to put shippers down. I don't see that much hate even from loustat fans.

One of the things I repeatedly see that gets on my nerves is the "armand pays more attention to daniel in dubai then he does to louis" take.

I understand they probably will happen in following seasons. But to think that armand was secretly in love with daniel the whole time in dubai is such a weird take to me. Do you think it has any base or is it just the fans trying to push their own narrative? Am I crazy to think that armand looked like he was completely in love with louis in dubai, despite their problems, and didn't really care about daniel outside of louis?

I get that they will get together in the future and i will support them and nod along when that happens. But they clearly didn't happen in season 2. There was just too much resentment on both sides and they both clearly cared more about louis. Am i crazy to think that?

I think first of all that ppl should relax trying to attack each other over which ships they like or not. it's pointless and everyone is with everyone else eventually so there's no reason to be going at each other about any of it. this was way less intense before the show aired bcuz everyone was white. now it's insane bcuz there's a lot of racist motivations fueling the protection or rejection of these ships. we can all just breathe (this is a general statement, not rly aimed at u).

secondly tho. I think the show has made a lot of things intentionally ambiguous. I can't say one way or another what armand is thinking bcuz the way he looks at daniel at times could read either way. he *is* focused on daniel in one sense bcuz daniel is *the enemy.* once armand was no longer rashid, he could more directly confront daniel and he did (not like being rashid stopped him fully anyway but lol). but there's times he's uncharacteristically gentler on daniel than louis is, like during the engagement mind-reading fuckery. I think it's meant to read as both, if u have awareness of DM. I don't think it's meant to be THERE there rn but a detail to notice and think is kind of fun (hard for this fandom to do tho, ik lol).

idk when DM is meant to take place in this universe, but I think there's something to be said about viewing all of them after 2x5. armand has remembered that entire thing the whole time and yet they're back here again. he'd otherwise erased both of their memories so neither one remembered the "fascinating" segment and he prbly figured the risk of louis thinking that again after so much time and in a different mindset was v low. but louis is still talking to the man he said was more fascinating as a stranger than armand had been for decades. and they're talking about lestat again. "ur going to teach me how to be fascinating" is prbly still in there somewhere. armand is always watching both of them bcuz he still wants to know what this means and why it happened.

it kind of mirrors jonah in S1. even tho louis doesn't explicitly tell lestat not to touch him, we learn that he lived to old age too. it makes claudia's death even worse but anyway I'm getting kind of OT.

but he definitely is v invested in louis too and is putting a lot into making the relationship look good. some of my fav parts are from some of those scenes tbh, when he's just smiling and recounting memories with louis in front of daniel. or even when he runs out as rashid to stop louis from attacking daniel again over claudia's diaries in S1, which now has more context knowing their history and louis' desire to not have harm come to daniel.

[paris-geller-was-straightwashed]

I've been trying to figure out what I want to say. not that anything I have to say is important; more as a way to think things through.

there's no way to exactly compartmentalize. but if I've realized anything, it's this. in my roughly ten year process of activism and coming to understand social inequity, nothing has radicalized me more then palestine.

nothing has made me more aware of the utter betrayals of our social system. nothing directly at this point, has made me truly see that our political systems can and will turn their backs on human lives when it suits them. it's embarrassing, but it took a scale as big as this to undo 27 years of propaganda that we (as in those in a western capitalist society) have created this system that allows for lives to be wiped out and for others to allow this to happen. how utterly dangerous and cruel. really, you only have to watch so many back to back clips of people being slaughtered right next to clips of rich men in suits chatting casually at the UN like they're not debating over who gets to live or die, to become enraged.

the devastation we were seeing even just a couple days after oct 7th was enough, but when the west did not report or cry over those little lives left all alone to rot in a decomposed hospital like how they wailed over every single israeli hostage - that said everything to me.

I'm sure we're all waiting for the day we can talk about this as a past event and for the palestinians living through it to still be alive to talk about it. for their freedom. but right now, this has changed everything for me. I'm not heavily involved in politics or would pretend like I have a finger on the pulse of anything, but I really do believe, that this has massively shifted things here in north america. note I'm canadian, not american, but regardless, ppl my age and younger have not only never seen such aggressive destruction play out worldwide like this, but more so, been so blatantly lied to and disregarded by their government. their worries quieted, their demands tossed aside; the whole world is calling for a ceasefire, and it's literally like no one in a suit behind a desk can see us. we're screaming and they can't even be asked to look at us. this already fragile line of trust between the public and their politicians, has essentially snapped completely. people like myself, have come into the reality the system & the people in it not only do not care for us, but that they don't need to either. I'm not sure how these politicians in power are going to get people to back them again, when it's becoming very clear to the masses that whatever we have to say doesn't matter to them anyway. it all feels very much like a tipping point, at least to me.

but I'm about to take a hard turn, back to palestine. there was a moment in all this madness that has stuck with me ever since, that I've thought to post about but couldn't verbalize. I think it was AJ who had a clip of it and I've searched their YT pages up and down for the video, but annoyingly cannot find it again - so I apologize that I don't know any names (but if you know what I'm referring to, then PLEASE let me know bc I truly want to know who this happened to). it was early in the war, I believe it was still october.

there was a video from someone who's become one of gaza's media reporters, a man I do not know the name of. from what I understand, he was born and raised there, and did local photography. but like many media personal in gaza, when the war hit, he started to document. he ended up posting a clip that haunts me; he was riding in an ambulance with others that was transporting people to a hospital. while they were riding, people fleeing from what I believe was a bombing stopped the vehicle. they were carrying a baby. the baby was bleeding and bruised and cut, from the recent attack. they pleaded with them, to take the child to the hospital and then placed the baby all alone into this man's arms. imagine that. you're a photographer with no training, caught in the middle of one of the world's bloodiest fights ever witnessed. you're unequipped and frightened. you're just trying to escape with your own life in tact. and then someone hands you a baby. they just place a baby in your arms.

out of nowhere, there's this little life in your hands. blood is cracked over their once soft skin and they're crying, blindly calling out for mom or for dad, who may never come back. their tiny heartbeat hammers under the torn pair of clothes, having narrowly escaped death. but only narrowly. and now, it's yours to bear. a human life, clutching on still, and it's up to you to wrap it in your arms and make sure it lives.

out of everything coming from gaza, I've been unable to shake this image. I just couldn't possibly imagine if that was me. as far as I understand it, this guy wasn't a formal journalist, just a media influencer who photographed and talked about his hometown, no training - and then he's thrown into a warzone. and more, another life is placed onto him.

he handled it, from the clip, very well; kept calm and composed and tried to calm the baby too. I wish I knew, if he was able to help that baby survive. I hope the little life did.

I hope they both did.

[artificial-absinthe]

Crazy, how you ask for understanding and end up being slightly vilified by the entitled ppl who are too lazy to litteraly tag a post...

Btw great point with ooc tag. I'd also love it. I'm just scared of rebloging your post as it seems whenever you want personalization, you may be seen as queer fobic and the worst evil, while it's just a preference to see the canon. Like litteraly ppl don't get that if they'd start making Megatron in green colours just because they like it, the ooc tag would be nice too.

But of course it's a gender thing so ppl will get offended... and I'm saying this, being in favour of your post, and being fuken queer... It's just sad, cause it's always going to the "oh consider xyz because we feel offended" while the op requesting this may be the nicest ally or queer themselves. But because their bubble is touched, they can't understand that they pierce your bubble as well, in the end turning into the conservative thinking of "I'd not tag my post, cause my idea is more important, or it makes me happy, so fuck you I'm free citizen, and allowed to do what I want"... and then they try to say, they are the opened, inclusive ones... while their thinking is litteraly the same as those, they oppose. It's just funny to me... how ppl just can't take a simple, kind request... they need to go balistic on both sides over it, as I'm also disapointed with those who just ran to harras the person... they are also guilty of asshole type of thinking... It's just sad how even in seemingly progressive place, there are still so many "conservative thinking" assholes...

Eh sorry for the long ramble. Just wanted to tell you, that you're not alone with this thinking. Just wanted to let u know, even that I know you'd say you don't care if someone agrees or not. But still, thank u for this post. Maybe it will change something for the better despite countless idiots who can't take a request like a civilised human beings...

No need to apologize at all. You absolutely understand it all and make very accurate and relevant points, and I totally agree with you.

I didn't even knew that this was still going. I figured some people had, though begrudgingly, accepted to use a tag, and some others would flood the Megatron tag with their occ content without a tag to filter out of spite (exactly with the mindset that you described), because people speaking ill of me doesn't even come to tell me directly, perhaps because they know I genuinely won't be affected by their hate and misplaced adjectives, and so I only know of this when someone else tells me.

On the other hand, while I do not crave for understanding, it's very nice that the people who agree with me voice it, because this request and pointing out is not only for me, but also for everyone else who is tired of the OCC thing flooding the content about a character.

Indeed, you are not the only one who has said this to me, and even before I made that request I had held conversations about how people was tired of it, but also feared voicing it because they, like yourself, were wary about getting the "queerfobic" hate. Which is no more than a shield that people abuse of whenever someone disagrees with their headcanons or anything else. That way they make themselves to be "on the right" and rally sympathizers to share their grudge with and attack the ones disagreeing with them. Which is a very unbecoming thing to do, and I wish they just acknowledged the reasons for what they are. (In this case, not everyone likes mischaracterization/Occ content. Period)

Thus, I decided to be the one to voice it, but it would be good that all the anons and people agreeing with me in private would do it publicly, without being haters themselves as some had been (which was counterproductive, actually), because that way it could be taken seriously and only for what it is... Perhaps... hopefully.

Of course I'm not saying that I don't appreciate that you say it also like this, since I understand that not everyone can be as cold as myself.

[compassionatereminders]

hi kat - please feel no need to respond because i am going to be talking to my counselor about this later today but i have found myself in a situation and i would love to hear your opinion. basically i stopped being friends with this person a little over a year ago and i feel really guilty about it. we were friends for a very long time, but we were in a very toxic friend group together that was perpetrated by one really abusive individual in particular. i had a huge falling out with this toxic person and i remained friends with other ppl in the friend group... the only issue was that i felt like he (the friend i cut off) never really understood how like. genuinely abusive the toxic person had been and he would always bring her up in conversation (like, things she's currently doing, her new partners, etc). i tried to bring it up and set boundaries with him and i thought it went well but then a few months later he basically waited for everyone else to leave before bringing her up AGAIN. i remember getting back home and thinking to myself, "i never want to put myself in that situation again". so i sent him a text saying i didn't want to be friends anymore (i told him directly why) and that was that... the only thing is i know if i had set boundaries again he would've listened and he is not a bad guy at all, i think he just has trouble keeping his mouth shut. but it was genuinely very distressing for me... he also had a habit of bringing up other triggering things as well (like my ex lol), but i never spoke to him about that so i don't think it's really his fault?? or if it's just basic common sense to not bring up that stuff when i was like having panic attacks anytime other ppl would bring it up??

i still feel a shit ton of guilt so basically im like ?!?!?! i feel kind of like a dick cause i know my text was really out of the blue for him too. currently im debating whether or not i should reach out and apologize and try to rekindle the friendship or if i should just leave it. my other friends have kept in touch with him and i feel like ive just made a mess of things when i could've done things differently (i.e. tried talking to him about it again instead of just cutting him off immediately).

anyways i would like to hear your thoughts as an outsider since everyone i know is going to be biased one way or another! thank you in advance <3

Do you actually miss having this person in your life or do you just feel that you should? Because it sounds like you had your reasons to end this connection, and while you're allowed to change your mind, you're also allowed to just move on and let go of them

[dojae-huh]

https://www.instagram.com/p/C1hT1UbrC9d/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

"Evryone should be happy without a fail, but I wish good people a happier year!"

This is what he shared on New Year's Eve… and it's stuck in my mind. Just like you said, Doyoung is kind, but he shouldn't let others take advantage of his kindness or see it as a weakness. What I mean is, he mentioned that everyone should be happy in 2024, but good people should be even happier. It's clearly shows that his own character. He's kind, so he wishes happiness for everyone, but he's not naive enough to forget that there are some bad people out there. He won't forget about them, even though he wishes them happiness. He also wants more happiness for the people he considers good..He can just write it as like evryone should be happy..whatever in his head doesnt matter , weather we fans knows it or not..thats it..nd it would be great for his idol image..but he pointed out the fact that he wish more happiness for good people, as he indirectly telling ppl if u r not good then my wont get you....he is an idol he cant criticize or judge openly, but his way of showing this kind of things amazes me like wow!! He is really amazing...without hurting anyone he said the matter simply..and I love the way he expressed it.

I know..i am exaggerating simple things, but this is got on my head nd I just wants to share it with you..nd staning him these all days makes me feel like I'm getting to know his amzing character more and more. That's why I agree with you when you say he's kind but won't let it become a weakness. He'll have the courage to say no if he wants to, and his kindness won't hold him back. Nd yes ofcrs he is mentally really strong thats why he can take care of ppl around him..nd I really admire that....🦋

Link

What you said.

Do you know this image of wrathful angels? An angel with a sword, a soldier of Heaven? I think it's more of a modern fiction construct. If Doyoung is an angel, like his fans like to call him, he is that kind of righteous and judgemental one. He can and will slay those who do wrong. Taeyong forgives his antis, Doyoung doesn't.

There are many ill-meaning people who take advantage of naive and kind people. We have a saying "kindness is worse than theft" and another one "kindness should have fists". Yes, one shoud be kind, but only to those who deserve it. If a person, after receiving help, stays ungrateful or continues to ask for more doing nothing to pay back, then that person should not be given anymore help. It's also not enough to just be kind and nice, a person needs knowledge, goals, interests, beliefs, otherwise he won't do well in life.

Doyoung's kindness is his strength and not weakness because he also has ambition, judgement, hiw own morals. He charms friends but can give enemies a scare (like with sasaengs). He also can protect others (like the way he told those who attacked Taeyeon with dating rumours off), not just show them kindness with words, being empathetic ("oh, you poor thing").

His judgmental side has its downside, he is vindictive, but his intellegence lets him acknowledge it and learn to be careful.

Doyoung saying those words in the NY message is his righteousness and vindictiveness bleeding out. He can't really lash out, but he still wants to sya something back. It's similar to how he exposed that teacher who didn't stop Do's bullies in his class during middle school. He didn't directly blame him, but he insinuated that the teacher was wrong with his pacifying tactics (it's not a big deal).

Doyoung is easily swayed by emotions for day to day things (something going wrong, him being tired, his perfectionism and dissatisfaction with himself), that's when he needs the emotional support from Jaehyun, Taeyong, Haechan. On the other hand, he has a stronger foundation, an iron core, and big things (antis hate, stage fright, deep rooted insecurities) don't shake him too much, he can overcome them on his own. That's where he can support his friends, be the pillar for them. Like during the time of Jae's scandal.

[voidnoidoid]

Thoughts on Weak Hero Chapter 248

I don't have money for fast pass so NO SPOILERS PLEASE. Also spoilers for those who haven't read the chapter today. You've been warned!

This is the final part of Ben's battle against Donald and it was exhilarating reading the fight. It's a testament to Ben's strength that he was able to hold out against Donald for that long. This is sort of an analysis + my general thoughts on Ben, Donald and Gray.

Ben and his strength

I feel like some ppl in the fandom are thinking Ben's weak for losing, but on the contrary. He is the ONLY PERSON who ever pushed Donald to the edge. With everyone else, Wolf, Jimmy, the Mokha duo etc, Donald beat to submission. Taking into account Ben's trauma from being beaten to a pulp by Donald in the past, it make him taking a stand against that nigh undefeatable monster even more of an amazing feat.

Ben's punches made Donald doubt himself, that if he got hit head on by Ben's sledgehammer punches he would 100% go down. I find the pillar imagery to be really effective in conveying the extent of Ben's raw power, as well as describing his general fighting style. As described by Gray, Ben is so strong that he ends all his fights in a single hit. He hasn't had to chain attacks or think too hard about battle tactics because he is just that strong. However, against an opponent like Donald, he had to start training harder and learning how to combo attacks. Ben's not the type to think of complicated attack patterns, so I really like that his method was to just get a punch in and focus on getting the next hit.

Aside from his physical power, Ben is also strong mentally. He is one of the pillars of Eunjang (along with Gerard) and has had to shoulder all the pressure of being the strongest and the one who has the highest chances of beating Donald one on one. Not only that he's usually the one who comforts and supports his friends, like when he helped out Gray and when he tried to cheer them up with snacks and drinks. However he keeps a lot of his struggles to himself. :(

His mental fortitude gives way to his willpower to succeed and persevere in his fight with Donald. Despite being beaten he passed out standing!!! And had to be physically brought to his knees.

To sum this section up, Ben is insanely strong and his fight against Donald demonstrates that. He isn't weak for losing, in fact it shows his strength to keep pushing forward.

Donald's Dominion

To really hammer in how significant Ben's fight against Donald was, aside from all the shocked expressions from all the side characters... I feel the need to discuss the sheer magnitude of Donald's power and influence over the Yeungdeungpo region (and to some extent over cheongang).

Donald is heavily involved with major industries around the region, such as construction, transport, garments, whatever you can think of he probably has a piece of the pie. His business sense is finely honed, to the point where seasoned adult professionals and old farts with power acknowledge his intellect and cunning, and fully trust Donald when it comes to managing businesses. Donald exercises his influence through his ability to manipulate the infrastructure and businesses which directly affect the other students.

For example, Donald and KHG uniforms collaborated, and the Ganghak thugs would beat up anyone not wearing a uniform from that brand. Next, the redevelopment scheme planned by Donald and a construction company CEO caused a lot of pollution and noise for the Singil Vet Clinic, owned by Eugene's aunt.

Donald has repeatedly showcased his overwhelming strength and intellect, as the leader of the Union and through his ability to keep hundreds of thugs in line. He beats dissenters into submission and is able to tame beasts like Myles Joo, Wolf Keum and the Mok-Ha duo. He even defeated Changhui Han, leader of Cheongang. His combined brains and brawn elevate him to almost unbeatable status.

The only ones that could possibly challenge him now would be Ben Park and Gray Yeon. But after Ben's defeat, Gray is the only one left to challenge him.

Arrogance and Downfall

Donald's kingdom started to crack once Gray started making moves. It's clear he got arrogant and slightly complacent because of all the power he has. Donald's thoughts "You're actually trying to beat me? Unacceptable." As if the thought someone legitimately trying to take him down was outrageous. As the strongest and the smartest he genuinely thought that he was unbeatable. His confidence in his strength turned into complacency, which is why he didn't notice when his plans started falling apart. This confidence in his perceived sovereignty caused him to not prepare for potential flaws in his plan. Such as when Gray showed up at the same hospital, when Eugene won the grand prize with his light switch idea, and when Ben managed to instil the fear of losing into him. Donald's image as the unbeatable monster began to waver, and start to crumble.

All these factors, and Ben significantly weakening Donald, set up the perfect opportunity for the White Mamba to land his killing blow.

Gray Yeon: Weak Hero

The last panel of ch 248 sent chills down my spine. Seeing Gray that serious with the eyes of a predator, really shows that he's the one with the edge in the fight. The narration describes how Gray, during that entire fight between Donald and Ben, was analysing Donald's fighting style; "studying up" as he usually puts it. And seeing Gray so sure of his odds of success, and him being ready to fight, makes it clear that there is a chance that he will win. Gray never fights if he cannot win.

I am particularly excited for this fight given the multiple parallels between Gray and Donald we've seen thus far. They've had lonely childhoods and were bullied during their school years albeit for different reasons. Donald grew up in a troubled household amidst poverty, while Gray was a loner who had no motivation in life until he met Stephen. Both of them are cunning and calculated and would do anything to win. Donald has a selfish motivation, while Gray fights for his friends.

Another difference in this fight that I think would give Gray the edge is that Donald is in a very threatened and disoriented state. He had just exposed his vulnerable side in front of the entire union, basically breaking the unbeatable facade he'd work so hard to maintain. He barely put it back together, and would have succeeded if not for Gray. Gray on the other hand has completely analysed Donald's fighting style. He has his emotions in check and is entirely focused on taking Donald down. Meanwhile Donald has no idea what fighting Gray is going to be like, and according to the trend that everyone who fights Gray for the first time will lose.... it seems the odds will be in his favour.

Donald, in his weakened state, is definitely still a force to be reckoned with and Gray is not gonna have an easy time fighting him, especially since they're so similar. I believe in Gray though! He can do it!

Overall

The final fight to end all fights is coming up real soon! (for free readers that is) And I feel like the final battle arc is well paced, though I was kinda disappointed the Naksung v Philip fight got offscreened. Super hyped for Donald vs gray and I might reread the whole final battle arc again.

[frizzy-frizz-frizz]

I wanted to copy and paste my fave bits of what you said about kevjean but all of its amazing and I love it "kevin and jean are so intrinsically tied together, they know each other first and foremost." Kill me now jesus christ "kevin had to leave and jean couldnt." Literally just stab me in the chest "that is where the song ends almost as abruptly as the books" im screaming???? I literally did not think of this but you're so right oh my god let me go listen to this song again right now

"Also is it just me or does it feel like neil josten, 'demisexual who never really understood his own attraction' is listening to this while making a kevin day binder on the run" you've honest to god read my mind that's exactly what I'm associating when I listen to the song. His obsession and jealously and the binder and if one of them had to make it he wanted it to be kevin. Also "I can't dare to dream about you anymore" him on the run for sure but also when both of them thought neil was going to be dead by the end of the year

"oh to be a random exy fan in the aftg universe." Honestly the edits ppl would make would be incredible

"NEIL REMEMBERING WHAT KEVIN WAS LIKE AS A KID" BABE YOU GET ME THIS IS SO IT "known for who you know, you know you'll always know me" kevin being the one thing from his past that he wanted to keep that he was still attached to. Also the song reminds of the name of the game by dayurno (it killed and revived me) and Neil just watching Kevin's game in chapter 2 and just fucking marvelling over him

BELIEVE?? The way he has so much faith in Neil and Andrew the way he sees so much potential in them and insists on dragging it out

THROUGH THE GHOST?? "ITS SO KEVIN" You're so right tho the world will never know him like he knows himself him looking at his past self not being able to recognise himself anymore it's all so good

Also I know I said I've never considered nothing new with him in mind but now that I have him in mind it's just "HOW DOES A PERSON KNOW EVERYTHING AT 18 BUT NOTHING AT 22" ALSKSK "WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME IF I WAS NOTHING NEW???" MY GOD

I adore him to primadonna I've always thought the song was so him and I'm glad for the agreement "all I wanted was the world" "the rise the fall" "you say that I'm kinda difficult" "I know I've got a big ego I really don't know why it's such a big deal though" LIKE HELLO IT WORKS SO WELL

ALSO I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ON MY TEARS RICHOCHET "And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want, just not home" Kevin directly after leaving the nest??? Or directly after joing it "And you're the hero flying around, saving face" the ravens pretending it was a skiing accident??? "You turned into your worst fears" Honestly there are a couple of ppl that could be referring to

TEEN IDLE "The pretty lies the ugly truth And the day has come where I have died Only to find I've come alive" him leaving the nest thinking his life was over to everything that came after

You'd be paranoid too is a song I've literally never heard of but jesus christ "I learned to live with these eyes in my closet Hands in my pockets Alone but surrounded" growing up famous?? In the nest?? ALONE BUT SURROUNDED???

Overwhelmed is literally every anxiety/panic attack scene from the books and I lost a friend kinda makes me think its about him towards riko in like a very "how did I lose a friend I never had"

God this is probably longer than the first message I'm so sorry its gotten out of hand but unfortunately I'm not done

My brain fucking perked up when it heard my alcoholic friends I have no idea why is sounds so familiar but its such a great rec I'm obsessed it fits and it's such a fun song to bop to for some reason

I'm obsessed with willow as a kandrew song kevin is so "They count me out time and time again" and "I come back stronger than a 90s trend"  "Rough on the surface but you cut through like a knife" HELLO "I'll meet you after dark" night practice??? "Show me the places where the others gave you scars" That one fucking scene where Andrew takes his left hand and checks it over I can't deal

This is me trying is so very very Kevin it's hard to just pick a singular line. ALSO Liquid Smooth LIQUID SMOOTH

Anyway I think this is longer than the last ask lmao

i dont mind at all that this is longer than the first message. in fact i am ECSTATIC. im so glad you're liking the playlist, its the BEST feeling

the kevjean dynamic has me in a chokehold i cant stop thinking about them. i feel so validated rn FINALLY someone gets my attachment to that song

"Also "I can't dare to dream about you anymore" him on the run for sure but also when both of them thought neil was going to be dead by the end of the year" GOD and when he looks at kevin that night, kevin who wanted to give him everything the world has to offer and, "will you still teach me?" "Every night" i am DECEASED. THIS SONG. IT MAKES ME THINK OF THAT SCENE AGAIN

SAME dororthea and liability and lost remind me so much of 'the name of the game'...i should reread it again...

believe hit so close to my heart AND YEAH YOU GET IT. kevin's unflinching faith and trust in those two always astounds me. he's the kind of person who just see right through you. past the words and pretensess, right down to your core. just looks at you and sees everythinig you are. everything you could be. and THEN he tells you that you can make it. that you can do it all. he puts the world and all it offers within your reach for the first time and- OF COURSE andrew and neil are obsessed with him. and, no one had ever told them they were worth it before. these three will be the end of me i swear.

"LORD WHAT WILL BECOEM OF ME ONCE IVE LOST MY NOVELTY" YES YES EXACTLY. it so perfect. even the AGES are right.

YES my alcoholic friend s sounds so familiar and i think its cause it sounds like a marina song?? somehow?? but mostly i added it cause of the last verse, "Should I choose a noble occupation? If I did I'd only show up late and sick,

"And they would stare at me with hatred Plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic friends"

KEVIN FEELING LIKE HE'S TIED TO EXY LIKE. he will keep going back to exy. even if he got to choose to do something else, showing up late and sick, his natural talents only on display on a court.

"ALL I EVER WANTED WAS THE WORLD" YES THANK YOU its works so so well

disclaimer: you might not agree with me at all about my tears ricochet and that's totally fine, my interpretation is VERY self indulgement.

hear me out, i associate my tears ricochet with post-baltimore kandrew. specifically the fallout and the arguments and guilt and pain that followed. because not only does andrew have to earn back kevin's trust, they both have to rebuild their relationship from the ground up. SO imagine my tears ricochet as that process

"I didnt have it in myself to go with grace, cause when id fight you used to tell me i was brave" kevin is all caustic, brutal honesty. he would hurt, and he wouldn't soften the blow. but he'll always come back

"Cursing my name, wishing I stayed, you turned into your worst fears" I FIRMLY believe andrew has had some horrible horrible thoughts about being like every person who's hurt kevin. of kevin being afraid of him. he would throw all of himself into

"We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean. Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring" kevin and andrew know each other all too well. they're the only ones who can truly push each other. remember when kevin walked intllo court with a raquet in his right hand and andrew was right behind him?? When kevin made andrew TRY for the sake of it?? ('UNSTOPPABLE FORCE VS IMMOVABLE OBJECT' DYNAMIC MY DARLING)

"And you can aim for my heart, go for blood,but you would still miss me in your bones" You think after calmed down from the fear of losing neil he'd see those bruises on Kevin's throat and NOT panic?? That the thought of losing kevin wouldn't send him into a full blown panic? Bullshit. and KEVIN who after it all keeps choosing andrew, who keeps putting faith in him, WOULDN'T keep trying to rebuild?? listen those two are practically melded together okay

"and I still talk to you (when im screaming at the sky)" ANDREW ON THE ROOF

"You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same" IM SOBBING THESE TWO THEY END ME I WILL NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM

I HAVE MORE KANDREW SONGS THAT I HAVENT ADDED YET BUT I WILL

I have so many kandrew songs

I think of them too often

To be honest, I associate 'I lost a friend' to kevin and jean. specifically kevin thinking about jean and all the emotions that come with. this is, once again, about kevin running away to the foxes and jean being at the nest. BUT for extra sad you can remember all the drafts nora wrote where Jean died.

ALSO I like you thoughts on the song being about kevin and riko. riko who he was friends with once, when they were very young. who promised him they'd make court together. who got worse and worse until, soon enough, there might as well have been no trace of the boy who was kevin's friend

WILLOW KILLED ME ITS SO THEM YOU'RE SO RIGHT

"Wherever you stray, ill follow, begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans" not kevin and andrew barging into each other lives and refusing to let the sink, stubbornly staying afloat and lifting each other up. utterly craving each others plans and expectations of the future. Andrew digging his heels into the ground and yet following Kevin and he promises andrew the world and them drags him towards it

"Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind" and "Like you were a trophy or a champion ring, and there was one prize I'd cheat to win" ANDREW ABOUT KEVIN who pushes and pushes and constantly gives all he has and demands the best

"Wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark, show me the places where the others gave you scars" Just. THEM. IM SOBBING

more kandrew recs:

Silence by marshmello, Im not okay by weathers, 505 by arctic monkeys, I am not a robot by marina, (twin sized mattress and lost are already on the playlist), and MOST IMPORTANTLY,

wolves without teeth by monsters and men THIS SONG IS SO. THEY ARE SO. its perfect to me.

[loki-zen]

Tbh there is a weird thing going on where if you poke fun at anything Americans do or make or whatever, then clearly you are DIRECTLY and SPECIFICALLY attacking all the most marginalized people in the US and specifically making fun of minorities even when the joke you made wasn't specific enough for that at all, but when an American makes an equal joke about any Western non-US country then clearly we were all supposed to know that they exclusively meant all the white and rich and privileged people (and also are marginalized communities from those countries ACTUALLY true inhabitants of that country anyway, but like, asked in a progressive way). Don't get me wrong, I think all countries should be fair game, it just kinda shows again how even a lot of progressive/leftist people from the US are completely incapable of not elevating their country in some weird way

yeh i mean really i think this is just a specific case of like. a default and effective strategy on tumblr is to position anyone/anything you are precious about as maximally marginalised and oppressed and anything you want to make fun of/be shitty about guilt-free as maximally privileged.

but yes it hasn’t escaped my notice that people will be out there like “oh no it wasn’t invented by British ppl but by a Jewish immigrant” when “a Jewish immigrant can’t be British” is literally the kind of shit even Nigel Farage wouldn’t say out loud

in general tho i think.. like it doesn’t help to lump people together and that’s the opposite of what i want to argue for anyway. I don’t know for sure that ‘Americans’ in the aggregate are any more sensitive* than anyone else

*and like idk how you’d even score it tbh like I have a way stronger reaction - which is to say any - to some rando on social media being shitty about my nationality in a generalising way (even in instances that aren’t that bad) than i ever used to before i was being constantly barraged with shitty dehumanising un-nuanced pot kettle bs

[piqued-curiosity]

"#please take the time to at least skim the list so you can understand what lesbians are dealing with right now"

I do sympathize with what lesbians are going through, and there's a lot there that deserves to be talked about more. There's certainly a lot that the bisexual community bears responsibility for, either out of ignorance or malice or a mix.

But I can also recognize when something was posted in bad faith to demonized bisexuals.

The list you're endorsing was written by someone that on here time here championed the use of terms like dick worshiper (which she uses IN THE QUOTED TEXT you're pointing ppl to), always had excused on why harassing bihets and nuthuggers (more words she helped popularize) was actually fine, and always had ideas about why bisexuals don't actually need any community and don't actually suffer from their SSA at all ever. Ideas that are still fucking haunting gc spaces today. The "blackpills" views on bisexuals are pretty much a direct conforming response to her views and the community she helped build on tumblr and it's not a coincidence that was re-posted by yet another woman who frequently goes out of her way to attack bi rape victims and say even more horrible things about them. The continued mantra-like insistence that bisexuals and heterosexuals are JUST SO EXACTLY THE SAME is itself homophobic and motivated by wanting to dismiss our experiences with homophobia as unimportant because some of you see bi women as unimportant and it's directly related to the "playing the victim" thing that gets thrown in the face of bi survivors more and more.

Looking at the post I reblogged it doesn’t look like she uses those terms in it. Otherwise I would not have reblogged it. It’s entirely possible that I missed it considering how long the article is and I probably ended up skimming parts, so please send me a screenshot or tell me where to look if that is the case, and I will add an edit to my reblog pointing that out in my list of disagreements (please keep in mind I explicitly stated I didn’t like the claim that bi women and OSA TIMs are exactly the same so idk if you bring that up to agree with me there or to act like I didn’t point that out). Because right now I’m not seeing it. I’m open to being corrected here because I know myself and I have a tendency to miss details due to (diagnosed) adhd-pi.

That said, I am not really interested in playing the game of “omg did you know OP said this thing?!”, that’s what TRAs do and I was hoping that stepping out of their circles would mean I wouldn’t have to deal with that anymore. Just because I reblog a post does not mean that I 1. Even looked at who posted it, and 2. Know anything about who posted it. The username of the woman who wrote it is entirely unfamiliar to me.

I understand your frustration with these women and I wholeheartedly disagree with the treatment towards bi women you’re describing, I find it disgusting. But just like most people on this site, I don’t actually pay attention to who posts things or comb through their blogs. I see a post, I think it’s good, I reblog. That’s it. I don’t know the poster or their history, and this goes for anything I reblog. It’s absolutely true that a poster’s own views will change the context of a post, but I also believe that in the same way an author’s intent doesn’t matter as much as the reader’s interpretation does… once a post is out in the wild, what matters most is how it’s interpreted. It’s why all the accidental terf posts are funny. I interpreted that post as an insightful commentary on a specific kind of lesbophobia, nothing more and nothing less.

I do agree that it’s important to know the post should be read critically though, and that’s exactly what I did, hence why I made sure to point out in my reblog that I wasn’t 100% in agreement. That comment especially applies now that I know the source.

[polar-bears-making-pancakes]

i think communication is a lot of practising and im really bad at it myself so idk how helpful this tip is but: other ppl are just like you, theyre scared and all have different emotional scars. but irl isnt like the internet and people will not hate and block you if you offend them for saying a wrong thing. and if they do and cant forgive you despite your good intentions then theyre not worth hanging around anyway. so the tip is to remember that people irl are forgiving and nuanced. they are adults, not children anymore who see things in black and white.

(side tangent: where im from its culturally the case that people do not ask others about themselves and its very inappropriate to point out obvious things, maybe its the same thing for you. its not rlly the case that germans are direct, its that if they say sth about a specific topic about themselves, its an indirect invitation for you to do the same thing, but you cant ask them directly, thats very rude. it could seem to some like the autistic dream but i swear its awful and i find it impossible to ask my german autistic friend anything personal (eg. i fear if i ask about her dog she's going to tell me that he died and i'll think i made her feel bad for mentioning it). im trying to unlearn it because not only is it culturally different in the uk, but its also impossible to make friends that way.) (((sorry if i slander germany again its a bit immoral but its how i tell myself im morally superior to my family who thinks i shouldnt live in the uk. )))

so my tip is: get a feel for what you can ask them about. listen to them and what they like, and then ask them about it. it will make them feel loved and appreciated. tell them what you want them to know because they will feel that you trust them and then they can do the same thing for you. its a way of showing them that you love them.

i love you and im asking you how your degree and thesis are going? you were saying that you struggled with it and i know you are very busy atm. i wish you good luck with it <3 you got this bro

hiiii thank you so much for this message and I'm sorry it took me so long to answer

that's the problem, i see consequences of my actions in very much black and white way. as I learnt from my counselor it's because of trauma. and I know I need to unlearn it because most people, as you said, are more forgiving than I am to myself and they are adults. but I still deep down fear that they are going to leave me like when my friends left when we were kids.

ooooh that's very interesting!! I get how you feel, I think, because I often blurt stuff out even without wanting to, that would be really rude, it seems, in that culture. I feel like polish people are really defensive and we are expected to be though. so it's like, if you'd point out someone's flaw, they would, on average, take it as an attack and attack you back. but also our way of shielding our insecurities is to bargain who has it worse. I feel like that's where the stereotype of main trait of polish people being complaining comes from. so I kind feel like I should stay in my lane and not get into people's lives as long as they don't invite me to. I don't want to overstep because I know that if I get involved I want to with my whole being. again, i dislike doing something halfway, it needs to be 1 or 0, black or white :/

thank you so much for the advice 🥹 I love you too

I'll try making myself ask questions, even if I feel like I'm not allowed to ask anyone for anything ever. nad I try get the feel to not ask questions that may make someone uncomfortable, another fear of mine

[unproduciblesmackdown]

every day tumbling around “adult horror: i do not like or respect most of this and/or am largely uninterested” thoughts until i come up with amazing points, or better yet, ones that are funny

[flustersluts]

Ah, original anon here, I just needed to get this out there bc I saw I upset you, so I don’t mind if you don’t publish this or if you even don’t believe me that I’m the OG anon but um. I was in a bad headspace when I sent that ask, I had gotten 3 of your posts recommended underneath a post I liked about biting (playful) and I just kinda saw red because a couple of the things posted reminded me heavily of my abuser. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, I shouldn’t have sent it, I should (1/2)

(2/2) should have kept it to myself and like, vented in private, not on anon in a stranger’s askbox. That was weird as hell. While I still don’t like, agree with BDSM (triggering) I don’t. Like that people are calling it “puritanical” because puritanical beliefs aren’t just ‘sex bad’ they’re incredibly misogynistic, racist, horrific beliefs. Somebody not liking a particular kink isn’t being a puritan and that minimizes religious abuse. Anyways um I’m sorry for upsetting you. It was shitty.

hey anon, i rlly appreciate u sending another ask(s) to clarify, u didn't have to do that so yeah thank u. anon hate obviously sucks almost always but i did initially get the sense that it was coming from a personal / emotional place and. the notion that some of my posts cld be used to enable or normalise abusive behaviours is genuinely n rightfully rlly upsetting to me and so im glad u told me directly.

like yes maybe u cld have done it in a better way but thank u for sending me the og ask and. yes triggers work in weird ways but posting content that reminds ppl of abusive dynamics (esp when i don't tag my content precisely bc i honestly didn't consider it wld require trigger warnings) is not smthn i ever wanted to happen and i'm going to watch out for that a lot more closely in future posts like. ignorance is not an excuse n im gna be better

on the use of puritan as a descriptor: i know v little abt religious abuse but what ur saying seems accurate and i disagree w/ the general approach of responding to a criticsm by just attacking someone back anyway

(ok i just wrote a bunch of shit in the tags bc i got carried away but i cba to move them to the actual post so yeah read those too if u want)

like yes u cld have done it in a different way but srsly thank u for sending me the og ask and like, im gna be better in future

[insanityclause]

Saney, the girlies are maaaad!!! Lol... comparing apples and oranges as usual and thinking they're being smart. BC/SH who have been married for how many years with TH/ZA? How many RC did Ben and Sophie together BEFORE their rs was official? I believe none, right?

And otoh, Loki antis saying that you calling them out on their shitty behaviour is the same as them whining about the show?

I've been reading some of their rants and they love to say they're being gaslighted but that's exactly what they're trying to do here.

Good thing you don't fall for their bs in any case.

They literally tagged a bunch of us YESTERDAY on a reblog from A MONTH AGO. My own reblog just lamented that it was in the Tom Hiddleston tag. Apparently the suggestion that maybe you keep anti-Tom stuff out of the general fandom tag by not using that generic tag (that all kinds of fans, including new ones, follow) is triggering and attacking. It was so triggering that it was ignored for a month.

And then they reply to us and blame us for attacking them directly - like, I'm not the one in your replies, whoever you are. You're the one who's gaslighting by claiming we're directly attacking you. The first and only time I've interacted with Lotus in any way was literally yesterday. And honestly, when I talk about antis, half the time I'm talking about people on Twitter (not Tumblr) who are directly harassing the creatives - not politely asking or suggesting changes for next season, but literally telling people to k themselves. But I guess that's OK with them? It's only the people who express frustration about that antisocial behaviour on SM who deserve to be called out.

And then they send long-ass asks to Vivi, accusing her, too?? Really??? Trying to imply that Zawe would be disappointed in her.

Guess what, ppl. You aren't the only ones who are differently abled, have mental health issues, are of varying sexualities/identities, are POC. Many of the people you're attacking do, too. Stop pretending you represent all of them, and that all of them hate the show.

Are the gf people who love the show wrong? Are the bisexual people who loved episode three - because Loki's bisexuality was mentioned and NOT turned into his only character trait - wrong? Are the people who regularly go to therapy, but also love the show, wrong? None of these groups is a monolith.

Do not fucking presume you know anything about me.

[coinofstone]

4x03 The Wicked Day

We're only three minutes into this episode and Arthur's giving Merlin a universally recognized chin-tip of recognition while he is willingly being tied to an upright spinning wooden board, with his arms secured above his head and his legs slightly spread. Yea, there's absolutely no reason for that to make anyone think of Arthur being fastened to a St Andrew's cross, none at all.

Also what is with this show having other ppl shove food in Arthur's mouth

All the knights are clapping and laughing but Percival's looking at the spinning wooden rig like he's having some Thoughts™️

Merlin escorting a drunk Arthur back to his room, where Arthur proceeds to begin undressing himself, is a scene played for comedy - 'haha Arthur's drunk and walking around with his pants down' - but literally all I see is domesticity.

I love drunk!Arthur but I also like Uther with the long hair.

I really like the fight scene with Uther and the baddie, not just bcuz Tony looks good - but because it is giving Uther a bit more agency back. They've never been clear on what his deal is. Gaius has a line in the first episode that makes it sound like depression. Arthur has a line that makes it sound like Alzheimers. Uther's on-screen behavior could go either way, or could be a little of both. I don't really think it's supposed to be definitive. The swordfight, I think, is entirely keeping with both theories. He was asleep when Arthur entered the room, he would've been exhausted after the exertion of attending a feast with such lively entertainment (considering he spends his days staring out a window, that's a big effort for him). The fighting would've woken him up, and even if he were experiencing sundowning, his sword skills would've been ingrained in him since youth, muscle memory like. And there's always the whole, 'super parent' thing, the surge of adrenaline from seeing your kid in danger leading to extraordinary feats. Regardless, it's an improvement over the despondency in the last few episodes where his character was mostly reduced to scenery.

I love Merlin but he's a fucking idiot.

Fair warning, this is probably going to be an unpopular opinion. Merlin is being a self serving manipulative little shit by encouraging Arthur to use magic to heal Uther, presenting himself as a sorcerer to do so, and then claiming his 'price' for healing Uther is, essentially, freedom and equality for all magic users. First of all, as a FRIEND, Merlin should be aware of Arthur's state of mind. Arthur's lived his entire life wondering about his mother who died giving birth to him. Merlin knows how big of a thing it is for him, if it weren't he wouldn't have nearly killed Uther in S2 when he discovered her life was the price for his. NOW, he's just watched his father get stabbed in the heart while saving Arthur's life, on his birthday.

I don't care how much you dislike Arthur, you cannot deny the trauma here. There's no way Arthur doesn't live with a degree of melancholy surrounding his birthday, knowing that it's also the anniversary of his mother's death; and you can't tell me that hasn't been amplified exponentially since he learned the truth from Morgause and confronted his father. Whether he believed Merlin's last minute save that Morgause had been lying and that she conjured an illusion to fool Arthur, is immaterial. You can't un-ring a bell. In his heart he'll always question, he'll always carry the weight of knowing that there's a chance his own life came at the cost of his mother's. And there is no way this doesn't come bubbling up at his birthday every year. They even attempted to show him being 'grumpy' at the start of the episode, Merlin is enthralled by the entertainment that's shown up for his celebration, Arthur would really rather not deal with it. It's not because he's not easily entertained, it's because his birthday isn't something he particularly feels like celebrating. Add to that, now, in the evening after his birthday feast, he's incapacitated by a sedative in his drink and he gets attacked by an assassin. His father saves his life and gets stabbed in the process, a mortal wound. Arthur shouldn't have even been in Uther's chambers! If he hadn't been, Uther wouldn't have been near the fight - he wasn't the target, Arthur was. This is a huge trauma for Arthur, his father paying the price for Arthur's life with his own on the anniversary of his mother unwittingly doing the same thing! Major, massive trauma! Psychological disaster! Merlin, as Arthur's friend, should know that.

I'm not saying Merlin was wrong to go all dragoon again - wanting to conceal his identity so he doesn't reveal his magic is understandable. Merlin's willingness to use magic to save Uther is also ... expected, if not entirely understandable. He's saved Uther many times, this time is only special in Uther wasn't attacked by magic and Arthur asked him directly for assistance with getting someone to use magic to help him. That's a big first.

My problem is with Merlin trying to demand a price from Arthur at all. Even as dragoon. Obviously, I want equality for magical ppl in Camelot. Obviously, I understand Merlin wanting the same. But it does not make sense for Merlin to look at his friend, who is in pain, who is desperate, who is acting unlike himself, and say 'this is exactly the right time to make him promise me to end the war on magic.' He could've said, 'I will do this, but remember this when you are king. Remember when you saw magic used for good.' and that would've been fine. But the fact that he extracted a price from Arthur, in exchange for helping Uther, the fact that he made it a transactional agreement: that's Merlin taking advantage of Arthur in his weakest moment, full stop. And that's entirely out of character for Merlin. It very much comes across as like, 'I've got him right where I want him' which is THE most antithetical thing POSSIBLE to Merlin & Arthur's relationship.

And yes, for all my ranting I do understand that this was part of a plot point to pit Arthur further against magic, to cement his belief in his father's hardline stance against it, to prevent the show from having to prematurely address the issue because Merlin no longer has a reason to hide. It was intended to keep the conflict going, so that they could continue the series with that narrative, and I understand that. Buuuut the same exact end could've been achieved without Merlin eliciting a promise from Arthur when he's clearly under duress.

And speaking of things that don't make sense, why would Gaius hide the enchanted necklace he found on Uther from Arthur? Surely he would want Arthur to know that his attempt had been deliberately thwarted?

Commentary by Alice and Colin

Bit confused by Alice's comments about Uther. She says she didn't think it was a mental illness, but more like he's 'worn out'. She also says Tony had nailed it and that they'd both had experience dealing with older relatives. I don't really understand what she's trying to say at all. Anyway, she wanted him to have an excellent sword fight scene and I think she's succeeded in that.

It's Colin's first time seeing the episode cut so they aren't doing a whole lot of talking unlike 4x01 where Alice and Katie just talked throughout the entire thing.

Alice says there's a drinking game on the internet - drink every time someone gets blasted back by magic. Colin legit said

The end bit where Arthur and Merlin are talking in Arthur's chambers, Colin says it's like what Merlin thought might've been his best chance has become his worst nightmare.

Alice is so proud of the shot of Arthur coming out of the room where Uther's body is laid out with the rising sun in the background streaming through the window, giving him Apollo vibes.

That final moment of Arthur being crowned king. Colin was clearly genuinely impressed with it and told Alice so, she said she was really very lucky to be given that scene to do.