#i don't know if the text on the book is taken from the translation of the story and edited to say torpe

[project-sekai-facts]

The play performed by WonderlandsxShowtime in the On the stage of dazzling light event, Torpe the Pianist, is a reference to the short story Gauche the Cellist, written by Kenji Miyazawa and published in 1934. Both stories explore a musician and his connection to music, featuring animals as the supporting characters.

In addition, both characters have similar names in terms of etymology. Gauche is likely taken from the French adjective meaning clumsy, and Torpe is likely taken from the Spanish adjective with the same meaning.

Submitted by @wxsmiku

[daily-whistlepaw]

You must be so freaking pumped rn. The writers are considering making Whistlepaw a POV!!!

I am away from Tumblr for ONE NIGHT, one night where I'm going to a play with some friends and they post it THEN.

My god this is terrible for my heart, they are going to kill me eventually with this. Yes I Am Hyped.

Also, @vulturequills' drawing of my design of Whis is in this article. They Know About Me Lol.

[niningtori]

see me | chapter three: just out of reach

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: after another failed relationship, you're ready to accept your fate as hopeless. choi beomgyu has other plans, though. or, beomgyu's your best friend's little brother and he's tired of you treating him like a kid.

genre: romance, angst, angst with a happy ending, best friend's brother au

word count: 2.2k

notes: it's my favorite person's birthday, so of course i have to post. i love beomgyu so much, y'all. also, i really do plan on making a masterlist soon i SWEAR. i just haven't yet :,). see end of work for more notes :)

beomgyu tries every trick in the book, but nothing seems to help. he tries lessening the gap between you physically to see if it translates to emotionally, but you just brush off every encounter like he's some fucking kid tugging on the back of a grownup's shirt.

he puts on the clothes that he knows suit him best, the ones that drive all the girls crazy, but the most you ever do is compliment him with "i like your shirt, beomie!" and ruffle his silky hair just like you always have.

he even tries lowering his already baritone voice and whispering seductively from behind you, but all you do is ask him if there's something in his throat and giggle as his breath tickles your ear. it feels like he's putting on an entire monkey show for a brick wall, that's about how unresponsive you are to his advances. he almost wonders how you even got into your past relationships in the first place because you seem so oblivious it hurts.

"quick, what else can i do to get her to fall for me?" he texts his friends in a crisis. the trip is over tomorrow and he's made no material progress. he looks to them for the millionth time this week and by now they're all thinking the same thing: it's hopeless. still, the more pitying ones, kai and soobin, tiptoe around that thought while yeonjun and taehyun tell him in no uncertain terms that this entire endeavor is fruitless. it stings, if he's being honest, but in a way, he kind of knows they're right. he's becoming increasingly less subtle, but you seem to be unmoved by every action.

-

"why don't we go to a bar tonight?" yijun suggests in honor of your last night of vacation.

"i'm in," jia replies with a smile.

you heartily agree and decide to dress yourself up a little more than usual. your self confidence has taken yet another blow from yet another unfaithful partner, so the act of putting on makeup and a pretty outfit does wonders for your confidence, but beomgyu is more anxious than ever when he spots you in the outfit you've chosen for the bar. you're always pretty to him, as cliché and insincere as that may sound, but he knows you'll be turning even more heads than usual tonight. he imagines a man piquing your interest right in front of him and it makes his stomach churn. no way in hell is he gonna let that happen —

— is what he says, at least. but some random stranger piquing your interest is the least of his worries now that you're actually at the bar. never in his wildest dreams did he foresee what is actually happening before him right now, which is you being pulled away with a dazed look on your face by none other than doyoon himself.

"what the fuck is he doing here?" and it sounds so much like his own inner monologue he almost thinks it was he himself who said it, but he turns and sees jia with her signature scowl and knows it was actually her.

"that's what i wanna know," beomgyu mumbles.

"who is that?" yijun asks cluelessly.

"that's doyoon," jia answers with venom laced in her tone.

"oh shit, the doyoon?"

"the one and only," jia sneers. "fuck it, i'm going to get her!"

"baby, no," yijun reasons incredibly patiently. "you've gotta let her make decisions for herself. let her do what she needs to do."

"what she needs to do is get her ass back here."

"don't you trust her?" he asks with a frown.

"when it comes to doyoon? nope. not at all." beomgyu flinches at this. he'd been there and heard firsthand just how desperate you were to keep a connection with doyoon after your breakup. there were countless times when he overheard jia scolding you for texting him even after he essentially ripped your heart out, set it ablaze, and stomped on the ashes.

"you shouldn't have to beg somebody to love you, you know?" he remembers jia reasoning.

"i know that, it's just — i just really love him. i don't know who i am without him," you said between tears.

"that's exactly why you don't need him," jia replied softly.

he stopped listening after that. his heart broke with yours for the first — and certainly not the last — time.

beomgyu can't take it. honestly? you haven't even been gone for very long, but when he thinks of the fact that you're out talking to doyoon of all people, he can't help but take a large gulp of whatever liquor he can get his hands on. he's very obviously staring at you talking to doyoon, but you seem without a care in the world if the smile on your face is any indication as to how you're feeling. he can feel the fiery alcohol bubbling up in his stomach as it churns at the possibilities of what could be happening between you two. are you letting him back into your life? does that sentiment even apply when his mark seems to have never really left in the first place? he doesn't know. if he thinks about it carefully, maybe he never wants to know.

-

"how are you?" doyoon asks with the charming smile you used to love so much.

"i..." you hesitate to answer. if you're being honest, you're not doing too hot at the moment and haven't been in a very long time. doyoon seems to take your hesitation as an answer in and of itself.

"yeah, i'm not doing so well, either," he says with a ghost of a smile.

"really?" you ask, head whipping up towards him before you can reel yourself back in. doyoon was always doing well, and even when he wasn't, nobody would be able to tell.

"really."

"why not?" you can't help but ask.

"if i told you my career is at a dead end, would you laugh and tell me i deserve it?"

"... i don't know."

"thank you for not knowing instead of just saying you would," he laughs. "you know, you're a lot kinder than i ever deserved for you to be." you're taken aback by this. you can't believe he's referencing your past relationship in a positive way. after your one-sided breakup, you tried to keep in contact with him in every way possible until he straight up told you you were being pathetic. his words, not your own. what you're even more surprised at, however, is how much you don't care. your heart doesn't seem to clench at the mere sight of his face, let alone at his emotionally provocative words.

"you know, i have no right to say this, but i'm going to, anyway. i'm sorry for what i did to you. really, i am. and if you ever want to get a drink with me sometime, i'd really like to make it up to you."

"i can't believe you have the nerve to say that to me," you counter without missing a beat, shocking even yourself. it only takes you about a millisecond to realize how much you mean it, though. doyoon is floored, to say the very least, but he regains his composure smoothly, just like he always does.

"i figured, but i still thought i'd ask. i know you have someone now, too. i guess it's shameless of me to ask." you stare at him quizzically. could he be talking about donghyun? he can't be. there's no way he'd know about him.

"what do you mean?"

"oh wow, i'm surprised he hasn't told you yet."

"wait, what? who?" you're a little tipsy, so his circuitous way of talking is making your head spin.

"well, if you don't know, i'm sure you will soon," he smirks as he locks eyes with beomgyu, who is currently glaring daggers at him from across the bar.

"i'll let you go," he sighs. "it was nice talking to you, even if you secretly want me to fuck off and never speak to me again." you actually crack a smile at this.

"you know what? it was nice talking to you, too."

you needed this. you needed some tangible closure and you finally have it. as you walk back to your party, you feel lighter than you have in a long, long time. you're finally prepared to fully let go.

-

the night sky is alight with white stars and the salty air is cool against your bare legs. the sound of waves billowing back and forth lull you into a trance, but your reverie is broken by the sound of someone stumbling behind you.

"beomie?"

"hi," he greets a little too loudly while plopping down beside you unceremoniously. you can't help but giggle at how drunk he is. what a cute kid, you think.

"what are you doing out here so late? you should be sleeping it off by now," you tease, nudging his shoulders with yours. you almost notice him lean into your touch, but you don't quite catch it.

"just wanna think," he says.

"about what?"

"a lot of things," he shrugs. you hum in understanding.

"you know, we never got to finish our conversation the other day. what's been bugging you lately?"

he pauses for a moment.

"i'm kinda hung up on someone, honestly," he admits with a lopsided smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes and you're genuinely stunned. he's never been particularly open about any girls he's been involved with, though there have been many based on what jia says. you'd be lying if you said you're not curious to know what kind of girl has the power to make the seemingly impenetrable beomgyu anxious, but you're mainly worried about how he's feeling.

"oh no, what happened?" you ask, sincerely concerned.

"nothing happened," he deadpans. "nothing ever happens. that's the problem." your brows knit in confusion.

"so you haven't made a move on her? why?" you can't fathom why beomgyu of all people would feel like this. he's never seemed to have an issue with getting whoever and whatever he wanted.

"i've tried, but i don't think she's interested in me in that way," he hints as nonchalantly as he can manage in his decidedly not-so-sober state. truthfully, he's not doing the best job at being discreet, either. but you don't notice a thing.

"i don't think that's true. i'm sure if you opened up to her she'd like you. you just have to be vulnerable and who knows? maybe she's interested but just doesn't know how to say it. she probably thinks you don't like her, honestly." his hazy eyes light up with hope. do you know you're the girl in question? are you both talking around the same point?

"you really think so?" he asks, heart racing. even through his drunkenness, he's putting the pieces together, albeit incorrectly.

"of course i do! i mean, you're a catch," you giggle and his heart flutters. "just be yourself and i'm sure you'll get somewhere with her. you can be so hard to read sometimes. maybe she just needs a little push?" the next second, your breath hitches as you feel warm lips latching onto yours. beomgyu is gripping your face with an intensity you've never known before. his lips are nice and warm, if a little chapped, while his eyes are scrunched shut with his long, dark eyelashes trembling in the moonlight. you gasp when he trails his hand down to the small of your back and he takes the opportunity to enter your mouth with his alcohol-laden tongue wrapping around yours. it's easy to melt into the feeling of pure heat with someone, especially when you're tipsy, so you do. you feel yourself melting further into his touch, but when he moans into the kiss, you finally register exactly who that someone is and push him off in a hurry.

"what the hell are you doing?!" you exclaim. you're panting now, face flushed and lips swollen, all thanks to him. he's absolutely fascinated by that fact. hypnotized, even.

"what do you mean?" he asks while blinking his big, watery eyes. he looks so innocent you almost can't believe he's the one who was snaking his tongue down your throat mere moments ago. oh. his tongue was down your throat mere moments ago. the thought itself has you sputtering out questions before your mind can quite catch up.

"w-what do you mean what do i mean? why'd you k-kiss me?"

"'cause i wanted to. 'cause i love you."

the world around you implodes and alarms blare in your ear. what the hell? you've only ever seen beomgyu as a good friend and maybe even a brother, but this? this was simply unprecedented. you would've never in a million years guessed that he harbored even a fraction of a non-platonic feeling for you. he must be drunk out of his fucking mind.

"i just love you so much," he slurs with his lisp in full effect. it's almost as if he can hear your thoughts and is intent on dispelling them.

you hesitate to reply and have the sorriest look on your face, so even in his current state he immediately understands that he misread the signs.

"beomie," you begin slowly and he winces. "i don't—"

"hey, i know. you don't have to tell me. i know," he says simply. "i was the one who misunderstood. you can forget this ever happened." he rises from your side and starts to walk away.

"beomie, wait!" you exclaim.

and, of course, he waits. you've always been able to gently twist his heartstrings in between your fingertips.

"yes?"

"i'm just.. i just don't want to lose you. you mean so much to me."

"you won't." and you never will. that's the problem.

you're at a loss for words, but he just smiles as if he already understands everything you can't seem to verbalize and it breaks your heart. why does it feel like he's the one babying you? with that, he turns away and resumes walking back to the house. you don't stop him this time. you don't have the guts to.

notes pt. 2: r u mad at me? i know i said this will probably be the final chapter, but there's so much more to say. i'm thinking there will probably be one or two more before i finally feel like the story has run its course. also, my pacing is so shit but i'm working on it <3 bear with me please! also, feedback is always appreciated! i'm a words of affirmation kind of gal.

[papercupids]

people we meet on vacation - jeong yunho

pairing -> jeong yunho x gender neutral!reader. (they/them used)

summary -> after bumping into what you call, the love of your life at a vaction once, you found that there was no way to find out more about him. 4 years later, when you've lost all hope, you finally find him and he's your boyfriend's bestfriend.

genre -> slice of life kinda (?), strangers to lovers.

warnings -> a bunch of curses, a tattoo, mingi is a real dick (sorry, had to be <3), it goes back and forth between the past and present a lot but its all labelled that's all though.

word count -> 4255 words.

a/n -> this fic isn't in anyway related or inspired by the book of the same name by emily henry, it's just that the title of the book went along with the fic's themes so i rolled with it :) a tiny, tiny part of it has been inspired by the first half of the bollywood movie, tamasha. and and, lastly, all the translations were taken from google translate so if you find any mistakes you know who to blame. ok bye, enjoy.

PRESENT, SEOUL, 2023.

“Are you ready, babe?”

Mingi calls out from the living room, tying up the laces to his boots. You took one last glance at yourself in the mirror and then called out in agreement. 

“Let’s go,”

when you're in the car with him, you look out of the window, watching the daylight completely drown out slowly. and then you look at your boyfriend, who is focused on driving. you're both going to his friend's birthday dinner and since it’s only been about 2 months of you both dating, it is one of the first time you're meeting his friends, having heard a lot of great things about them already.

he notices you looking at him and gives you a smile before giving his full attention to the road again.

mingi isn’t a bad person, you know that. but for some reason, there has been no one who'd been able to catch your attention fully or make you stay for even a month. the 2 month mark with mingi was a huge thing for you.

But then you visibly wince when you remind yourself about the texts. 

Never could you ever imagine that your tendency to never commit to anyone would bite you back in this form. 

When you finally feel secure enough with someone, you find out that they’ve been cheating on you. 

Mingi wasn’t a bad person, you convince yourself. It was just your karma.

when you reach the parking lot of the restaurant, mingi tells you to wait, he unbuckles his seatbelt and then gets out of his seat and slams the door shut and runs to get yours.

when you give him your hand, he kisses it gently, whispering a little into your ear.

"my angel looks so pretty tonight,"

and he holds out his arm for you to clasp yours into.

"ever the gentleman," you kiss his cheek.

as you enter through the glass doors of the hotel, you spot a lot of people, a bunch of foreigners going about, someone trying to check in, and people like yourself, here just for dinner.

"excuse me, what way is the banquet?" mingi asks on the front desk.

"oh, are you mr. kim's guests?"

"yes, yes,"

"straight from here, last room on the right,"

"okay, thank you," 

"___, can you go ahead? i need to take this call, i'll be there in 5,"

"let me wait for you?"

"oh, just introduce yourself, i really gotta take this,"

you were a little irritated (understatement) but decided to go ahead anyway, what’s the worst that could happen anyway?

and as you step inside the white tiled room with a huge chandelier in the middle, and golden lit lights, you think you might be dreaming.

no, not because of the ambience. but because of the person sitting there, looking up at you, as surprised as you were.

PAST, CURÇAO ISLANDS, SUMMER, 2019. 

"who? what? why?"

"well, i don't know, i didn’t he would show up here when i told him we were coming here,"

"oh god," 

to say you were exhausted would be an understatement. your friend, jae-i and her "situationship" with the university playboy, kim sungwon was famous and you hoped that you could try to get her away from him during this vacation but turns out, old habits die hard. she claims she only told him that she was going for a vacation and apparently, he was here and "begging for forgiveness," because he deeply thought about how wrong his actions were.

"you know what, do whatever you want to, because to hell with our vacation, and don't you dare come to me when he breaks your heart again,"

you slam the door and get out. you weren’t that harsh and you did feel like you went overboard but she needed it. you would come back later anyway.

The bar was a couple blocks away from the cottage that you’d rented and it was right on the beach, a bunch of wooden chairs and tables and people enjoying their exotic coloured drinks, each one of them speaking in different languages. 

Speaking of languages, you weren’t quite sure of dutch. You knew the typical “hallo (hello),” and “ik ben nieuw hier (i’m new here),” but the basics was where it ended. 

“Um, hi,” 

“waar kan ik je mee helpen (how can i help you)?”

“English?”

He made a disappointed face. “No english, de werknemer die Engels kent, heeft pauze (the employee who knows English is on break),”

With a mental facepalm, you realize you’d even left your phone and wallet back where jae-i was, and you had no intention of facing her, especially if there was a possibility that the asshole would be there, and there was no point in trying to order without money anyway. 

“Nevermind, Bedankt (thank you),” he snickers at your accent but nods anyway. 

“Oh no, no, let me get that for you,” a tall man, absolutely gorgeous, with the looks of someone who could easily pass off as a well known celebrity appears beside you. 

“What do you want?”

“Its fine, i was just leaving,”

“Relax, i’m not a creep, just trying to help, you can pay me back later,”

“Oh, well, okay,”

A few minutes later, you and the handsome stranger were both seated on the wooden stools, he was taking in the sun without a lot of struggle since he brought sunglasses, meanwhile you, well, let’s just say it was a bad day for you. 

a little away from the arrangement of chairs there was a live band, some music playing as a couple danced, and then later the others joined as the tune got more upbeat.

As you sipped on the oddly coloured drink you’d seen a lot of people drinking, he turns to you, “so what’s your story?”

“Ah, well, i came here with my friend thinking it would be a little time before she could be away from her shitty ex, but guess what? He’s here,”

“Interesting story, i mean, sucks for you, but, it’s a nice plot,”

“Is that so? What’s yours?”

“Not much of a story, my one of my friends is getting married in september and the other is going to take over as ceo of his father’s company after this summer so we all decided on this trip as something of a milestone,”

“It would get harder to meet after this so,”

“Oh got it, got it,”

"wait, we never exchanged names,"

“I’m yunho,”

“I’m ____,”

he gets up, "in my opinion, You know, what you should do? Enjoy your trip, not everybody has a chance to take a trip like this and you really can’t let your friend ruin it for you,”

You think it up. “Ofcourse,”

He asks for your hand as he puts down his own glass. 

You’re almost about to slip your hands into his but then you hesitate, “but wait, don’t you have your own group of friends to worry about?”

“I think seven adult men can enjoy life without me. Besides, it’s not everyday I bump into someone like you or presented with an opportunity like this one.” he winks. 

Far away, the sun shows signs of weakening and giving into the sea, the music that’s steadily shifting to more mellow tunes and the noise of the sea gulls. 

Yunho takes your hand and guides you to the open space, a couple of people are dancing but the attention from the crowd focuses on you both as you laugh at yunho’s actions. He attempts to spin you and the crowd cheers at that, the beats become more and more danceable. 

His hands are on your waist, and his eyes, those eyes. They stare right into yours as you dance. Even though you shrug it off with your laughs, you can feel the spark. And then he’s close, way too close to be with a stranger that you just met, and instead of facing him, you just lean your head onto his chest and close your eyes. 

“Kiss already,” someone from the band shouts. 

And then you look up at him, “what do we do?”

“Only if you want to,”

His words repeat in front of you again, “...it’s not everyday i bump into someone like you or presented an opportunity like this one,”

You close your eyes and reach up to him, it honestly catches yunho by surprise but it’s over almost as suddenly as it is initiated. A peck. But it was more romantic than any kiss he’s shared with anyone. 

PRESENT, SEOUL, SUMMER, 2023.

"hey, you came with mingi right? oh my god, you’re gorgeous, how did he even score you? i'm wooyoung, by the way,"

"i'm _____," you blush, this man certainly knew how to make a fist impression.

"Where's mingi? is it his manners to leave his date alone?" 

to which you let out a chuckle, "he got a really important call, he'll be here in a bit though,"

"let me keep you company then, and fulfill mingi's duty of introducing you to the others."

a few people are gathered on the far end of the table opposite from you and a few are sitting on the table already engrossed in a conversation except one of them who looks at you, eyes fixated.

“That is our friend yunho, san and his mate, milo.”

Yunho. Him. fate. There were so many things going in your mind right now, all of the memories, him paying for your drink, spending the entire day with him, forgetting that a thing like a mobile even existed, it was so funny that you both met again. There were almost zero chances, after you came back from your trip, you searched every nook and cranny of social media from whatever information you had of him, scanned every public setting, just in hopes that somehow, just somehow you bump into him again. And unfortunately, this is how you meet. 

“Hey,” he extends his hand. Does he remember all of that? Given it was not more than even a day spent together, but it impacted you, did it impact him?

There was like an unspoken agreement to not mention that you’d met before, because you’d not seen a lot of his friends on the trip neither had they seen you nor had yunho ever seen jae-i, all because of that stupid agreement. 

You try searching for recognition in his eyes, but mingi comes before you can try communicating with him even a little. 

“Mingi! Dude, why’d you leave your date alone? Thank god i was around to help,”

Mingi looks at you, “so you’ve already met them, i see,” and takes your hand into his, and never have you ever wanted to pull your hand back from someone this badly, because you look at the subtle way yunho’s eyes flit to the clasped hands and he backs away. 

-

“Hongjoong,” 

The said person is too deep in conversation with someone yunho has never seen but has deduced that they’re most probably business partners. 

He calls out to his friend again. And hongjoong looks at him, he mutters a “please,” and then steps away.

He’s careful not to be in the earshot of the group that wooyoung, mingi, you and san have created, they’re very curious to know you, someone mingi had been talking about for months, labelling his new date as his best ever. 

“Oh, mingi’s here,” hongjoong notices as he steps to the side yunho is, “wait, yunho, i’ve seen-”

“Shhh, shut up, shut up, this is exactly why i brought you here, keep your mouth shut, mingi’s date, the one he’s been bragging about, is the person i fell in love with in the summer of 2019,” he releases his hand that he had been holding over hongjoong’s mouth. 

he touches his elbow slightly, to remind his friend.

And the older guy doesn’t say anything. 

“It’s just you who knows, so please, don’t tell anybody, and don’t let anybody know that you know them,”

“It’s just unbelievable,”

And hongjoong watches as they both look at you, he looks at the way yunho watches you. “I remember you being all miserable because you couldn’t find them,”

“Yes, it’s unbelievable but also unfortunate, i’d rather have they not met me at all than this,”

Hongjoong wishes he could have done something, but he doesn’t even know what to do. He wishes he could have taken his friend’s pain because it’s so cruel but he tries to cheer the other up instead, leads him to the dinner table and carefully diverts the conversation to anything but you and mingi. 

PAST, SUMMER, 2019.

"and i'm supposed to believe that?"

"i swear, i've never done it,"

"you've never ever fallen in love?" the stranger you met at the beach is clearly in disbelief over the fact that you've never been in love. it's after dinner that you're again here at the beach, walking on the shoreline.

"i don't think it's consciously my choice, it's just something that happens, i become obsessed with a person, i think that its love but then it wears down as fast as it comes."

"uh huh, okay, so you won't fall in love with me?"

you look up at him, his face lit up by the different shades of colours, the streetlight on your left, the headlights of the cars speeding past, and the lightings that are decorated on stalls at some stalls. he looks absolutely gorgeous but more than that, there's something in his eyes, that makes you feel like you actually could. you could actually dream about a forever, and this time maybe even fulfill it. was that possible? 

but the realization that you're probably never going to meet again sets in and he looks away too, thinking the same thing maybe.

"nevermind, i'm sorry,"

"wait, yunho,"

he'a already a few steps ahead of you when you stop him, he looks back at you with a questioning look as you point to at something.

"a tattoo?"

you nod.

"you want to get a tattoo with me?"

"there should be at least a little something that i can recognise you by if we ever cross paths again,"

he looks at you in awe as you walk over there, determined to get a tattoo, with or without him. 

as he follows you, he knows something very clearly, he'll do whatever you want. even if he doesn't know you, he knows that he's had a feeling of love. not entirely falling but a fleeting kind of. He doesn’t pay much attention and without giving it much thought, follows you. 

"hey, yunho,"

he turns back, spotting hongjoong at a little distance from where he was standing, his friend walks closer to him and he has a bag full of beer bottles, clearly leaving to refill the party with their friends.

"we've been looking all over for you, buddy,"

"uh, i've.. found a friend," 

"where?" he points to the tattoo shop where you're talking to the guy, and swiping through designs.

"that's great, dude, about time you find someone,"

“Yeah, and i hope y’all don’t mind it,”

He tsks in reply, “they’re all shitfaced, they probably won’t last for more than an hour or so, and that’s when i can finally drink,” he points to the beer bottles. 

"hey," you call out from your place, and interested to know the stranger standing beside your new friend, you walk up to them.

"you're?" 

"i'm hongjoong,"

“Nice to meet you, hongjoong,” you give him a smile.

"you're getting a tattoo?" he asks.

"if yunho agrees," 

"yunho, hmmm, you should go ahead, do it," 

"oh, wait, hongjoong is a great artist, he can draw something for us," yunho suggests. 

"well, if you want me to,"

and about an hour later, there’s half a butterfly on the area above the elbow on your right arm and the same location on his left arm.

"well, that was painful," you say, gripping your covered arm.

"you think?"

"but well, now i have something to remember you by so i'm not complaining," he adds.

which makes the both of you go silent again.

you want to ask him his number, but something stops you. Looking back you’re not so sure of what held you back but you wished, wished so bad that you’d taken some number, some contact anything. Heck, even an email address would have sufficed. 

But thinking that you can probably search him up on instagram or snapchat or something, you don’t bother about it.

"let's meet here tomorrow? you're here right?" 

you ask him, curious to know if he's into hanging out for another day.

"ofcourse, i'm craving some pancakes for breakfast,"

"we got it! let's have pancakes tomorrow,"

PRESENT. SEOUL. 2023

"hey, i'm hongjoong,"

"oh, hongjoong,"

the man visibly pales over your mention of his name but you can't resist it, all of it is coming back to you in such a full swing and you can't even do anything about it, you should have just stayed home.

and then the tattoo, your bare arm left it being exposed, nobody would know its meaning but it just felt like an open wound right now and you wish you had some extra sleeves so you could just cover them up.

yunho is ignoring you, and as you are, too. but it keeps on poking you with a stick, the memory of all of it, and you shake your head, it was just a day, you cannot let it have so much effect over you. and it just killed you that you couldn't just drop mingi's hand and tell him that this was the man, this was the guy you had fallen in love with, for the first time and intensely and in the period of not even a day.

throughout the dinner, his friends keep trying to make you comfortable and so does mingi but every time he talks to you and you're forced to look away from yunho, it practically rips your heart apart and then the thought of going home and then again being apart from him. it just seemed like a nightmare.

hongjoong looked awkward as he tried his best to not let anything slip out of his mouth, he looked like a bad liar. and as you sit there on the dining table you realize that the guy who was getting married after the summer was hongjoong, and it was almost his 4 year anniversary soon. and the guy who was taking over a company was the obnoxious but sweet, wooyoung.

But yunho seemed different with them. When he was with you, that day, it felt like he would just about do anything without any remorse at all. And today, the tie around his neck felt too tight. 

"excuse me, i need to go to the washroom," you needed some air.

"should i come?" mingi offers.

"i'll come too, i need to get some air, i'll help you find the way?"

the dining table doesn’t notice the way the air shifts around you both and mingi nods and carries on with his previous conversation with san but you walk up to the door with yunho walking behind you and keep walking until you've reached the far end of the corridor, where he pulls your hand to stop and then looks around and opens a door.

"that's a janitor's closet-"

"shhh," he quiets you down, there’s nobody who would hear you, but its just that he wants to look at you, quietly. think about that day again and again.

you look into his eyes again, the door has slits so the lobby lights spill into the room and parts of his are visible, including his eyes. the eyes you fell in love with, is that even possible, to fall in love with someone's eyes, or to fall in love with someone you just met for a day?

"why did you leave suddenly?"

"i-" 

he places a finger on your lips, leaning towards you in the small, dark room filled with brooms and the smell of room freshners. 

and his voice comes out as a whisper.

"i searched the entire island, all hotels, all the resorts, the airbnbs. there was not a single corner i hadn’t looked for you that day, where were you?"

"i had to leave, jae-i's family found out that she'd been with that jerk and they called us home immediately, and i tried finding you but i had to leave on the first flight that morning and i'm just so, so, so, sorry,"

he puts away his finger and sighs, "it's fine,"

"fate is such a bitch though,"

"you think?" you snicker. 

"what do we do now?" he asks. a deafening silence follows. 

"i'm going to leave,"

"again?" 

you don't pay much attention to his comment.

"i'm going to get out of mingi's life because i obviously can't live with him knowing that i'm in love with one of his friends,"

"and what about us?"

you place a hand on his chest.

"there was no us, yunho, how can you even be with me like this? all we'll end up being is each other's worst secrets, i don't think i'd want that, i don’t think you would want that either."

he nods.

"you fell in love with me?"

"yes,"

his tears glisten with the light.

"i fell in love with you too, and that morning i was going to properly introduce myself, take you out on a proper date, tell you that my drunk self was just beyond crazy for the shit he'd pulled the day before. but i guess fate had other plans,"

A FEW WEEKS LATER, PRESENT, 2023.

a few weeks later, when he gets a text from mingi in the groupchat, yunho feels a stake through his heart even though it was his friend who just got dumped.

he's brushing his teeth, while he goes through the texts for the entire day. mingi writes, it's been days but i've been kinda busy so i just thought i'd let you all know.

and then a notification for a private group chat, something the others had a knack for doing when they wanted to spill some gossip on the recent event in the main group chat, this particular one was revived from last year's surprise party for mingi's birthday. so the gossip was about mingi.

it was san, "you know he deserved it, milo told me he saw him with some other girl in a hotel one day,"

Hongjoong : “really? He’s such a fool for doing that to y/n, they definitely deserve better,” 

Now, that felt like a very personal jab. 

The others express their opinion too, with wooyoung saying he kinda predicted it with the way mingi left you alone that day at hongjoong’s party and yeosang and some others concluding with “what can we do? It’s his life, hopefully, y/n is not hurt a lot,”

he facepalmed. why? why were the fates so fucked? was it possible any of his friends would have your number? would it be weird if he asked for the number of one of friends' ex lovers? god, the amount of bad luck he always seemed to have was astronomical. 

Hongjoong called him right after the texts ended. 

“You, my friend, have the worst luck in the entire world,”

“Shut up, don’t rub it in,”

he lays down on his bed, tired from the day. It was only 7 pm but he felt like it would be better if he just slept. 

“We should have lunch tomorrow, by the way, my treat,”

“We’re not having a pity party for me, joong.”

Just then the doorbell rings. “Wait, hold on, i have a visitor,”

 He puts the phone on the shoe rack and walks over to open the door. when he opens, he sees the white bag before he can figure out its you. because you've shielded your face with it.

“Oh shit, shit, shit,”

when you move it out and finally take a look at yunho's face, he takes a minute to register it's you.

and he grabs you into a hug as soon as he realizes. guess his luck isn’t that bad even.

Hongjoong, still on the call and listening over, is concerned for yunho. “Hello? Yunho? Who is that? Yunho??? Answer me? Is someone stabbing you?”

after he realizes he's almost blocking your windpipe and realizes it's rude to just cry in the looby of your apartment complex, he invites you in and properly takes a minute for his emotions to settle down.

Meanwhile, hongjoong has ended the call and resorted to calling again, so yunho can pay attention to his phone. 

“Hello?”

“Oh my god, you’re alive,”

“I’m alright.”

And you walk over, looking at the caller ID, decide to introduce yourself, “hey, hongjoong, remember me? You drew my tattoo for me?”

“Yunho, what the fuck, man?”

“Don’t blame him, he didn’t know i was coming. And i stole his address from mingi, at least he was of some use,”

“Woah,” the older man is clearly surprised but then cuts the call after telling you both to not lose this chance and that he will talk to yunho tomorrow.

“So,” yunho says, you’re both in the kitchen, your white bag placed on the counter. “What is this?”

“We never got to have those pancakes,”

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Francis Drake Main Story

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors. I didn't proofread this.

The historical figures who were resurrected as vampires have made contracts with Comte, except for Napoleon.

Napoleon was revived against his will, without a contract, and had become a being with both human and vampire traits.

Comte: "Based on what I've heard, it's possible that Drake arrived at the mansion through the same circumstances as Napoleon did."

Comte: "Although it's still a mystery how historical figures can come back to life as sort of half-vampires, even if they didn't ask for it."

Drake: "Hold on."

Drake raised his hand to stop Comte.

Drake: "I can accept that this is the 19th century, but all this talk about resurrections and vampires is getting crazy. Can you at least tell me more about what's happening?"

Drake, who had been smiling nonchalantly, looked confused.

Napoleon: "I understand how you feel."

Mitsuki: "Me too..."

(When I came to the mansion, I couldn't keep up with all the unrealistic stories either.)

I totally understand how Drake felt.

Feeling sympathetic, I decided to make a suggestion to Comte.

Mitsuki: "Comte, I think we need to explain the situation."

Mitsuki: "And since he doesn't have a place to go, why don't we let him stay at the mansion for a while?"

Drake: "........."

It would have taken at least another month for the door to open again. Even when it did, there was no guarantee it would be stable.

Considering the recent abnormalities in the door, he's lucky he was able to reach the mansion.

And if Drake was supposed to have died in his original time, he may have no place to return to.

Even though it wasn't my problem, just thinking about it made my heart tighten.

Mozart: "Are you crazy? This pirate just attacked us out of nowhere."

Arthur: "I can't say I don't understand the situation. Of course, attacking Mitsuki was unforgivable, but I'm also worried about letting him roam freely."

Dazai: "He's right. It would be a problem if he got a sudden bloodlust and bit someone on the street."

Drake: "Wait, there's a possibility I could turn into some sort of wild animal? Me?"

Sebastian: "On that note, we have both Rouge and Blanc here in the mansion. They should help manage both your meals and impulses."

Napoleon, who had fought with Drake, glanced at him.

Napoleon: "I can't sense any hostile intentions from him anymore. If this guy does something weird, we'll do something about it."

Napoleon: "Right, Jean?"

Jean: "Of course."

Drake: "You guys are reliable yet intimidating."

Napoleon and Jean nodded to each other, and everyone's gaze turned to Comte.

Leonardo: "What's your decision, Comte?"

Comte: "........."

Comte: "Drake, can you promise not to harm anyone?"

Drake: "Yeah, sure. If you're worried, you can keep an eye on me."

Comte nodded in response and untied the rope binding Drake.

Comte: "Then I welcome you. Maybe you came to this mansion guided by something."

Arthur: "A miraculous and fateful encounter, perhaps?"

Drake: "Seems like an overly dramatic fate to me."

Drake: "Anyway, sorry for the terrible first impression. I'll be in your care from now on, so let's all get along."

Drake chuckled, and I couldn't help but relax along with him.

(He doesn't seem like a bad person.)

Mitsuki: "If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know."

Drake: "You're such a kind-hearted person."

And so, a new resident joined our mansion.

That night, after the sudden turn of events, I found myself on my bed, flipping through a book I'd brought from the library.

Mitsuki: "I wonder if it's in here. Ah, here it is."

I flipped through the book titled "Historical Figures Who Moved the World" and found the page about the person I was looking for.

The title was Francis Drake, Hero of the Sea. A page dedicated to Drake.

(Sebastian sometimes scolded me for being clueless, so I should at least learn something about Drake since we're going to live together from now on.)

The book mainly recorded Drake's accomplishments.

("He was the second person in history to circumnavigate the world. Queen Elizabeth awarded him the title of knight for his achievements during the voyage.")

(He discovered the Drake Passage during his voyage. Come to think of it, I've seen it on the map!)

I was surprised to learn that the famous landmark on the map was named after him.

At the same time, it was mentioned that he had committed numerous acts of piracy, such as attacking enemy ships and looting valuables.

(For his homeland, he was a hero, but for someone else, he was an enemy. He lived his life amid conflict.)

I couldn't help but feel the light and shadow of history after learning the background of this historical figure.

As I continued reading, I found a description that caught my attention.

Mitsuki: "After his death due to illness, his body was placed in a lead coffin and submerged in the sea."

Mitsuki: "A sea burial?"

(History says he died and was laid to rest.)

(I wonder if something happened at that time that caused him to come back to life like Napoleon?)

I closed the book I had finished reading and lay down on the sheets.

(I never thought someone would come through that door.)

He didn't seem anxious or troubled, but he's in an unfamiliar place, so he might still face some challenges.

With that in mind, I fell asleep.

The next morning一

Drake: "Morning, little fawn."

Mitsuki: "G-Good morning, Drake."

When I came to the dining room in the morning, Drake greeted me cheerfully.

However, there was something that caught my attention.

(Does he mean me when he says little fawn?)

Mitsuki: "Um, Drake, my name is..."

Drake: "Hm? Isn't it Mitsuki? Am I wrong?"

Mitsuki: "No, you're right!"

However, what caught my attention even more was Napoleon slumped over the table beside me.

Mitsuki: "Good morning, Napoleon. You're up early today."

Napoleon: "I didn't sleep."

Mitsuki: "Huh!?"

Drake: "Haha! Last night was fun."

Apparently, after that incident, Drake received some explanations from Comte.

Comte told him that the door could potentially connect at any point in time as long as it was working normally.

He also told him about the vampire's nature and that this mansion was home to historical figures from various eras and nations.

After that, Napoleon spent the night with Drake, serving as both his guard and companion.

Drake: "Our situations are pretty similar, so I had a lot of questions for him."

Napoleon: "Then we got carried away and ended up talking all night."

Sebastian: "I heard they chatted the whole night. It would've been cool to eavesdrop on their conversation!"

Sebastian, who came out of the kitchen, offered Napoleon a warm cup of tea instead of coffee.

Drake: "Napoleon was not only a military commander, but also the Emperor of France. No wonder he's so strong."

Napoleon: "Stop teasing me."

Drake playfully slapped Napoleon on the shoulder, and Napoleon, with his eyes half-closed, swayed sleepily.

(Napoleon is a heavy sleeper, so he must have been tired.)

(It feels like they've gotten a lot closer.)

Napoleon: "I'm at my limit. I'll leave this guy to you."

Mitsuki: "Okay. Good night, Napoleon."

Napoleon stood up and left the dining room unsteadily.

After seeing Napoleon off, Drake let out a big yawn.

Drake: "Fuwah. I'm getting sleepy too."

Drake: "But before that, I'm hungry."

(This guy is so straightforward when it comes to his desires.)

(But come to think of it, he's also half like Napoleon, so he's probably hungry too.)

Sebastian: "I'll prepare breakfast. Please wait a moment."

Drake: "Sure. So you guys are on cooking duty?"

Mitsuki: "Yup. Is there anything specific you want to eat this morning?"

Drake: "Let's see."

Drake: "Blood."

(What!?)

Drake: "Just kidding. I thought vampires could only drink blood, but I'm glad they can eat regular food too."

(He said it so seriously that it caught me off guard.)

Drake: "I'll leave breakfast up to you."

Mitsuki: "Okay. Then I'll make pancakes!"

Drake: "It's nice to have a meal without any trouble. On the ship, there's always a bunch of hungry men fighting over food."

Drake: "Plus, it's great to have a pretty girl like you cooking for me."

Mitsuki: "You're quite the smooth talker, aren't you?"

As I responded, feeling a bit flustered, Theo suddenly chimed in.

Theo: "Are you also a flirt like Arthur?"

Vincent: "Good morning, Mitsuki, Sebas, and Drake."

Theo and Vincent came to the dining room.

Drake: "Let's see, you guys are the famous Van Gogh brothers, right?"

Drake: "The angel brother and the devil brother, as Arthur said."

Vincent: "I often hear that, but I think Theo is the real angel."

Theo: "B-Broer."

Drake: "Haha! Vincent, you're such a doting older brother."

(He interacts with anyone so casually.)

It might be a little unusual for someone to get so close to others in this mansion.

Theo: "Hey, Drake. Don't call him that so casually."

Drake: "Oh, then Vincent big bro."

Mitsuki ▪︎ Theo: "Vincent big bro!?"

Hearing him say that to Vincent made both Theo and me yell unintentionally.

Vincent: "Big bro. Fufu, it's refreshing to hear that since no one called me that before."

Drake: "It looks like he likes it."

Theo: "Rejected! And stop being so happy about it, broer."

Sebastian: "Drake has incredible social skills."

Mitsuki: "Pffft…ahahaha!"

I couldn't help but burst out laughing as I caught Sebastian secretly taking notes in his diary.

For some reason, after finishing his pancakes, Drake started arranging the chairs in a perfect row.

Drake: "*yawn* I'm really sleepy. I'll just take a quick nap. Nighty night."

Mitsuki: "Hey, Drake! You can't sleep here!"

Drake: "Huh, I can't? Then I'll sleep on the floor."

Mitsuki: "That's not allowed either!"

(We shouldn't encourage more people to sleep anywhere like Leonardo!)

Mitsuki: "Sebastian, is there any unused room available?"

Sebastian: "I'll need to confirm with Comte first, though if ever there is, it might not be clean."

Sebastian: "Let me show you to the guest room for now. Mitsuki, please help me prepare it."

After preparing the guest room for him to lie down, he nodded and smiled, saying it was more than enough.

Mitsuki: "Then, take your time and relax, Drake."

Drake: "Hmm. Thanks for going through the trouble, Sebastian and Mitsuki."

Just as I was about to leave the room after Sebastian一

Mitsuki: "Waah!"

He suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me back into the room.

He pressed me against the wall, and his face came close to mine, his eyes cold.

Drake: "Hey, Mitsuki. Did you tame everyone in this mansion with your blood?"

Previous Part ╎ Side Story 1 ╎ Next Part

[innerchorus]

Remembered that the word(s) mage/magus/magi has roots in Persian and decided to look it up, and whaddya know, interesting shit!

“Magi (/ˈmeɪdʒaɪ/; singular magus /ˈmeɪɡəs/; from Latin magus, cf. Persian: مغ pronounced [moɣ]) were priests in Zoroastrianism and the earlier religions of the western Iranians. The earliest known use of the word magi is in the trilingual inscription written by Darius the Great, known as the Behistun Inscription. Old Persian texts, predating the Hellenistic period, refer to a magus as a Zurvanic, and presumably Zoroastrian, priest.”

×

“The word mágos and its variants appear in both the Old and New Testaments. Ordinarily this word is translated "magician" or "sorcerer" in the sense of illusionist or fortune-teller, and this is how it is translated in all of its occurrences except for the Gospel of Matthew, where, depending on translation, it is rendered "wise man" or left untranslated as Magi, typically with an explanatory note.”

And then I was like, well, the hell is “Zurvanic”? And

“Zurvanism is a fatalistic religious movement of Zoroastrianism in which the divinity Zurvan is a first principle (primordial creator deity) who engendered equal-but-opposite twins, Ahura Mazda and Angra Mainyu. Zurvanism is also known as "Zurvanite Zoroastrianism", and may be contrasted with Mazdaism.”

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zurvanism

I don't know what I'll do with it but!!! Very interesting!!!!!

Oh yeah, as someone who often thinks about Team Zahhak mages vs the priesthood in Arslan Senki, I'm aware of this and it's definitely of interest. Tanaka doesn't give us a Parsian word for mage but does use some terms for priests / priestesses (kahina, priestess, see the term 'kahinat', and magpat, a high priest, likely taken from 'magu-pati' / 'mobad' the first part of which obviously shares an origin with mage/magus/magi).

In terms of ArSen, I've talked about the similarities between the priesthood and the mages before. Of course, there are differences, but it's clear that the priesthood also have an understanding of magic that goes beyond that of even the most well-educated Parsians, even though aside from communicating with the jinn they don't actually use it (except for perhaps as a countermeasure against malicious magic, though this isn't something we see directly in canon). The mages of Team Zahhak don't seem to openly define / refer to themselves as priests, but in terms of function and how they essentially view Zahhak as their god, isn't that exactly what they are? It's telling that when Kishward and Zaravant first discover the underground space used by Team Zahhak in Book 12, Kishward comments on its similarity to a temple, leading Zaravant to wonder where the 'priests' are, and the fact that it's later referred to as the 'dark temple' both in the narrative and dialogue serves to emphasise this further.

The overlapping nature of the historical term and the way that the nature, doctrine and abilities of Team Zahhak and the priesthood seem to mirror each other is something I think about a lot, especially because of Gurgin! Yes, it was inevitable that I was going to mention him in this post, but it feels very relevant because here is a character who was occupying one role, and left it in favour of the other ...but did he ever really stop being a priest?

(This is also why, although I obviously wish the eventual outcome had been different, I liked his conversation with Guiscard in Chapter 108.)

[especiallythewomenandthechildren]

As If Destiny (part nine.five)🌹

Part Nine🌹

A/N: YALL WE REACHED 100 FOLLOWERS (101 actually 💅) THANK YOU I CAN'T SAY ENOUGH THANK YOU I LOVE YOU ALL THANK YOU! Also how did I forget to write its been like two weeks s.o.s. okay now the story -> -> ->

⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆

The only sound in the room was the pen swiftly moving across the page, the shuffling of hospital staff outside, and your labored breathing. The screaming match between your father put some more strain on your already injured throat. Your eyes have been focused on the fresh proposals for the past twenty minutes as you honed in on the material.

Arachne has permanently settled down in the chair next to you, book in hand. Coryo and the others gave quick goodbyes - at the urge of the receptionist - few minutes prior, much to your disappointment. You expected for Arachne to begin to pack herself up, but no movement occurred. Even when she was reminded that visiting hours were done, she ignored the reminder with a flick of her hand.

You didn't know why she was so adamant to stay, but you weren't bothered. Why not let her stay?

Your constant writing has caused an ache to shoot through your hand as you rested the pen to shake it out. A sigh was let out as you realized you could benefit from a break. Not just from the writing; you really needed a break from reality after these past few months. The thought made you laugh lightly as you took in all the chaos that has surrounded you recently. You turned your head, which was laid against your fluffed pillows (Coryo could not leave you uncomfortable), towards Arachne.

The girl could feel your glance but kept her own zoned in on the red leather-bound book within her fair hands. You began zoning out on her features until her brow arched, clearly awaiting a statement of some kind. You cleared your scratchy throat slightly before addressing the stern red head.

"Why are you here, Ara?"

Her sharp-featured face was still lost within the text, but her eyes seemed to freeze at the mention of the nickname. It's been a long while since you've addressed her like that. It has been a long time since you've addressed her alone in general. Nowadays, your only interactions are in public, surrounded by your mutual friends. You've missed Arachne a great deal these past few years, though you always assumed they were unreciprocated feelings. A statement utterly untrue for the hotel heiress.

Arachne always felt a cold and unique sense of loneliness when she saw you in the hallways. Especially with Sejanus by your side. The boy's presence always made her feel less than. How could district-born scum make one of the Capital elite feel inferior? The question was a permanent marking in Arachne's brain; although, no matter how many times it plays, there is never an answer.

A suspicion is that he doesn't snark at you. He doesn't feel that pit of envy within every atom of his being. Sejanus doesn't feel like crying out in mania every time you succeed. The boy was a better person, friend, and other half than Arachne could ever be.

Instead of taking her feelings and reflecting, she could only translate them through snickers and alternative hallways taken when she spotted your smile.

The Crane girl wanted to scream, throw the glass cup next to your bed, and then collapse into your embrace. But all she could manage was a small smirk upon her colored lips.

"Are you kicking me out, Ace?"

A smile shone on your face at her reciprocation of nicknames. You've really missed these quiet moments with her. You turned completely on your side and got comfortable as you faced her.

"Just don't want you to get in trouble over me."

Your response got the teenager across from you to finally lower her book. She stared at you with mouth slightly agape in a curl of disbelief, a look matched with her eyes.

"You took a glass bottle to the neck to save me from trouble. You think I'm going to care about getting yelled at by some nurses?"

A huff of slight irritation moved through you as eye contact was enacted.

"When are you gonna give that up? You don't owe me your life!"

"Yes, I do! We both know that I'm only alive because of you!"

Her hands were moving frantically, expressing her distress over the situation. In contrast to her state, you seemed to have suddenly cooled and calmed as assumptions raced through your mind.

"So that's why you are staying? Because you're guilty?"

You meant for the words to be harsh as the implication hurt you, but it only came out broken and torn. Arachne noticed your abrupt shift of emotion as she reflected it. She shook her head slowly and rubbed her hands down her face in exhaustion.

"I'm staying because I care, okay! I'm staying because I'm frustrated and confused too! I insulted you and your family, and you still saved me. You didn't even hesitate! I still don't understand if you jumped in the way because it was me or you are always the hero."

You stayed silent throughout her confession, letting her vent through her pent-up feelings. Her rant had caused her to jump out of her seat in frustration, so as she slumped back into the old hospital chair, you processed. Not about why you saved your friend, but about the fact that she is telling you all the thoughts that haunted her. It took a few moments for you to conceive of an answer that will finally put the girl at ease.

"Arachne, I jumped in front of that bottle because I care. You may have given up on me long ago, but you will always be my first friend. I know you hate I'm friends with Sejanus and that I chose him over you and the rest. I know you think that I would favor him than you any day of the week, but that's just not true, Ara. You have no idea how many times I wish you would stop pretending to be so cold. We've been distance for so long that I don't know if it's even an act."

"I guess I took the stab for the little girl who swore to take one for me. Maybe I'm a fool and you will mock my blind actions, but I would rather die than live knowing I didn't protect little Ara."

The tears pouring out of the ambitious girl were not like those from earlier. They were not silent and shattering. No, these salty tears were rough and plentiful as she broke down. Her sobs filled the room as her body began shaking with the rough emotion. You wanted to run and envelop her in a hug, but you could barely move.

You compensated with an outstretched hand with some tissues to the sobbing girl. Her eyes cleared of the liquid enough to make out the tissues and your sympathetic smile. Her mind was too overcome with your sentiments, though her body was awake.

In a flash, Arachne jumped towards your arms and settled into your side on the hospital bed. The force of her leap was enough to cause a yelp from you as she slightly landed on your bandaged neck. She suddenly began muttering apologies to which you shushed as you comforted her. She continued on sobbing while you leaned your head on top of hers as your arms consoled her.

As she began to settle, your smile returned. Not only due to her calmness but because you made the right choice. You saved that little girl inside of Arachne. You saved her from permanent physical death and revived her from mental and emotional demise.

Ara's breathing slowed as she picked up the parchment pieces across your lap. You let her settle as she read over your proposals while you began to nod off.

A few minutes passed before you snapped back into awareness with the sound of nurses outside of your room. The noise also alerted the comfortable Arachne. In an instant, Arachne was begrudgingly out of the warm hospital bed and running across the room.

The nurses began walking into the room while your head was still plastered to the left as you watched Arachne Crane shove herself into a supply closet in the corner.

Even as the hospital staff began questioning your progress and checking up on you, the stupor was still heavy on you. They summed up your distracted answers to exhaustion and not the fact Miss Crane was making a whole lot of noise in the closet. She seemed to have bumped every bottle and container within the space and nearly fell out not once, but twice! It was a wonder how the staff didn't immediately find the girl.

The checkup passed quickly due to the entertainment provided by Ara's antics, and you were informed that you are cleared to leave by morning light.

A few moments after the door was closed and the nurses cleared the hallway, Arachne fell out of the closet along with a couple of brooms. She landed on her knees and hands - still clutching your proposals to Dr. Gaul.

When you both made eye contact, a burst of laughter was heard throughout the room. She moved back on her legs as she howled at the situation while you clutched your stomach.

You couldn't even say you've missed this because for the first time in your friendship with Arachne, you both felt like your age. Just two teenagers doing ridiculous shenanigans while breaking some rules.

Even with the context of the hospital, you considered this one of your most cherished memories.

The rest were moments with Sejanus, hugs of your mother, faded tickles with your brother, and lately: every second with Coriolanus.

When the laughter between you and Arachne finally subsided, she got up and moved to sit on the edge of your bed. She gave you another little chuckle as she handed the now crinkled and a little sweaty parchment.

"And you were worried these wouldn't be impressive, pfttt."

You smiled at her compliment - one of the only you've ever received from the snarky girl. One more quick read over and you set it down on the small bedside table. You focused your attention back to Arachne who now seemed a bit more nervous as she played with the end of her rouge skirt.

"So how exactly are you gonna sneak out of the Capital hospital?"

Her presence seemed a bit more shaky and timid as she avoided eye contact with you. Her nervous fidgeting seemed to increase as did your concern.

"Ara? Is everything okay?"

The brown-eyed girl took a hesitant breath before meeting your eyes.

"Would it be okay if I stayed here tonight? I just- I just don't want to leave you here alone."

You looked at her a bit skeptically at the reasoning. You doubted that was the full truth but you didn't wish to press. So you gave a sweet smile and a happy nod.

Whether your demeanor, answer, or a mix of both, Arachne relaxed. You expected her to move to sit in the chair next to your bed or maybe even settle in next to you. Though her mischievous smirk should have given you a warning.

The girl settled in at the end of your bed before kicking off her pretty shoes and before you could react, her socks.

"ARACHNE NO PUT THEM AWAY EW ARA-"

Her laugh was bouncing off the walls as you tried to protect yourself from her painted toes. After enough torture of flinging her feet next at you, she settled in on the bed.

"You know you could just lay next to me right?"

She just laughed as she wiggled her toes next to your head as she moved her gaze up to the ceiling. Arachne was, for the first time, truly happy. More than happy.

Arachne Crane was giddy and childish. Since your blood started spurting from the glass impact, she was sure she wouldn't fall asleep at night. Likely for a while, but here she is.

Arachne wasn't very sleepy but she was sure it was possible now that she knew you were alive. You didn't hate her like she thought you would - well should. Of all the unexpected events today, Arachne would rank your rekindling and strengthen friendship to be the most surprising.

Your eyelids began drooping, and vision began darkening. The last thing you saw was a very cheery Arachne who couldn't seem to stop smiling up at the ceiling, completely lost in reminiscence.

⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆

and this should have been the rest of the chapter if i didn't accidentally post this before it was done 😔 part 10.5 will be up soon hopefully!

[thatswhatsushesaid]

I have a MDZS question and consider you an expert on all things JGY (he did crimes, good for him) so I hope you have some insight into this: I read that NHS found the Sacrifice Ritual in JGY’s Closet of Wonders, but how did JGY get it? Was it in WWX’s Burial Mounds “library,” and if so do you know where WWX found it?

Thanks, I very much enjoy your content!

hey there anon, it's very kind of you to consider me an expert, but i really am not 😬 i've certainly read, reread, and re-reread both the EXR and 7seas translations of the empathy flashback sequence many, many, many times, in addition to the guanyin temple sequence, because those are the parts of the text where jgy's actions are most frequently criticized and taken out of context. for details like the ones you're asking after, i've got to revisit other parts of the book again because my memory is a tea sieve, and i'm also not immune to medium bleed (no one is). so please bear with me, and keep tabs on the notes of this post for any discussion that follows since my pals often chime in with details i've missed.

first point of contention tho: it is never confirmed how novel canon nhs comes by his knowledge/familiarity of the summoning ritual, though wwx does speculate extensively in the guanyin temple denouement that he hears about the ritual from mo xuanyu himself. i don't think he gets his hands on the ritual himself, and i don't think he has access to the jin sect treasure room either. from vol 5 of the 7seas translation:

So yet another person came to [Nie Huaisang's] mind. Mo Xuanyu, who had been banished from Golden Carp Tower.

In the past, Nie Huaisang might have chatted with Mo Xuanyu to glean information from him. From the mouth of the dejected Mo Xuanyu, Nie Huaisang had clearned that he'd read one of Jin Guangyao's fragmented manuscripts of forbidden magic, in which an ancient, evil ritual was recorded. He had then incited Mo Xuanyu to exact revenge for the humiliation he'd suffered at the hands of his own clan members--to use the forbidden art of the sacrificial ritual to seek retribution.

in vol 1 of the 7seas translation, this is what the text tells us about the sacrificial ritual mo xuanyu uses to summon wei wuxian:

The nature of this "sacrificial ritual" was a type of curse. The caster was to harm themselves with a weapon, making cuts on their body and using their own blood to draw the array and write the spells within. They would then sit in the center of the circle and give up their mortal body to evil spirits, using the annihilation of their soul as the price to summon a nefarious, malicious ghost. This was all done in order to request the fulfillment of a wish. Thus, it was the opposite of "possession."

While both were forbidden magics of ill repute, the difference was that the former was much less popular than the latter. After all, few wishes were so strongly desired as to make someone willingly sacrifice everything they had. This was why the technique had been nearly lost after centuries of disuse. The examples recorded in ancient books had only a handful of cases that were backed by reliable evidence, and every single one of them had been for revenge. Every malicious ghost summoned by the ritual had fulfilled the caster's wishes perfectly, in cruel and bloody ways.

i've been thumbing through the rest of the 7seas volumes as well as the EXR translation, but i don't think there's anything more concrete about where the ritual comes from. i think it is entirely possible that the jin sect found copies of something like this ritual in the burial mounds, sure, but i also wouldn't rule out a ritual like this being contained in the treasure room entirely independent of wwx. there's canon precedent for it; case in point, recall the collection of turmoil in the gusu lan's forbidden section of their library.

anyway that's what i've been able to find today, but i'll keep poking around in the books to see if i trip over a passage that neatly answers all of our questions lol.

[spockandawe]

You know what, I'm not happy about this either :T

Unless I'm t-boned by another reblog from someone huge, this likely won't reach as wide of an audience. And I regret that! Because either I presented myself badly or people are taking the wrong thing away from my words.

So, I strongly, STRONGLY believe in supporting writers. I also strongly believe in archival work and preservation of online media. I mentioned my own binding of the raksura patreon short stories earlier this year, hoping to manifest an official printing to buy, which.... folks, the implicit logical endpoint is that I went and expanded them all and saved them locally too.

It wasn't scraping, since I've seen that description being tossed around in the notes. My copy was manual copy and paste, because I don't respect my own time, and so was the other recent version. If you're going to rail against that, I guess you've successfully transported nft rage about right click + save as to a new medium.

Frankly, the patreon interface is a pain for this. Infinite scroll is part of the enshittification of the internet, this is a lot of text and posts, patreon isn't a powerful archival site, and it started choking horribly by the time I was halfway through. Now that I know people can still sign up (which i didn't, for years, that closed label is misleading), I still emphatically encourage them to do so and fight through the lag to read the stories.

I also quoted the thing where I said I owned all the books in three formats - physical, ebook, audiobook. Guess what copy I use for most rereads - that's right, none of them, because I was a dumb youth who didn't understand how awful kindle drm is and I can't word search in a paper book, so the secret fourth format is pirated ebooks, which I know amazon will never be able to yoink out of my grip. If I ever git gud at illumination and make a hand-illustrated compendium of the series, that's going to be my starting base, because there arent digital rights to lock me down to owning ACCESS to a copy of the book and not the copy of the book itself.

Now, the existence of pirated ebooks isn't all sunshine and roses. I've seen the talks about how new books IMMEDIATELY get pirated and shared and start cutting into an author's livelihood and future publishing prospects. I think it's incredibly important to support authors directly and in ways corporate marketing teams are able to observe. But especially in light of the Hollywood strikes, I'm sure many of us have seen posts about corporate entities playing shitty games with what they'll make available and withhold, and what they'll CHARGE versus what the customer has PURCHASED.

The only thing in the original post I take issue with is the reposting of something that was still available directly through the author. That has already been addressed. The originator is remorseful. I still understand if the patreon vanishes, to be clear. But i quietly made my own copy years ago BECAUSE i understand how easy it is for something like that to vanish, for much more arbitrary reasons. It could have been vanished because of site policy, patreon abruptly archiving all posts more than X years old. Online media is dangerously ephemeral.

I bind a lot of cnovel fan translations. So many amazing stories are getting licensed for translation - great! But it's also a massive extinction event for all the backbreaking translation work other fans have been sharing for years for free. And from that perspective it's a fucking TRAGEDY. I have... a Lot of files that I'm not sharing publicly. My goal is never to preempt or undermine the translators who did the actual work. But that hoard of files is still precious to me, because it takes about five seconds to delete a gdoc of translation, and there's not always warning to save a copy first.

Again, emphasis, my only issue here was the reposting. I'm not happy that it happened. I'm glad the files were quickly taken down, whether or not the patreon itself goes away. I'm glad op is remorseful for overstepping, and I can... mostly see how they didn't realize the problem, and mainly wanted to help more people experience a story they loved.

So it's also worth saying that I'm also not too stoked about the direction tags on that post were starting to go. 'Piracy is inexcusable, piracy is the death of--' STOP. I recognize that begging for nuance while tossing thoughts out onto social media is a losing game. But actually, I'm out of patience for black and white thinking happening on my post. Piracy is a valuable tool for archivists and a hazard to creators, which is why it should be practiced quietly and with deliberate care. It should be practiced in a way that attempts not to damage the creator's livelihood or take away control of their creations. That's where the misstep was here. OP understood they had misstepped and they were expressing remorse even before I got on my high horse, and it sure doesn't seem like the notes care about that, so! I'm done letting the outrage machine feed on it.

That's probably enough. I'm not saying anything I haven't said on here before. If you've ever grieved for a beloved fic missing from your ao3 bookmarks because it was deleted, you understand the basic archival urge. If you lost access to a favorite artist's extensive archives because the images were flagged in the 2018 boob ban, you should be able to understand. I manually saved 36,000 pictures in that brief grace period before I completely burned out. The fundamental impulse shouldn't be that hard to grasp. The rest is just responsible practices, and people fuck up sometimes. It sucks, but sometimes you don't recognize a boundary is there before you blunder right over it with the best of intentions. I think a lot of us have been there too.

Anyways, this is too much text, how boring to look at. Here's my remaining pictures of my own little anthology copy. Still manifesting an official release someday, or any books of the raksura material at all. Money will literally fly from my pocket to purchase it in every available format.

[azures-grace]

Fuck it, WIP Sunday

Have some of the Tally intro (as of now) for my Iri fic because I wanna

Gore is snappy because he is injured and met the bozos less than 5 hours before this scene, so trust is low.

(1032 words. This is from chapter 4 (chapter 3 isn't done, I just wanna share this cause I love writing dialogue.))

That night, they camped a mile or two outside of Falkreath’s main city. Wood was plentiful and there hadn't been much rain in the recent days, so lighting a fire was easy.

Remiel sat on the ground, carefully polishing Scrap with a cloth. Caryalind was laying on his stomach– on the singular pillow he'd snatched from one of the inns they'd stayed in after leaving Markarth– his nose buried in a book. Gore had taken to cleaning and banging his leg properly. Iriae was pouring over the texts they had found in Nchuand-Zel. She had a journal open on her knee and was scribbling into it.

“Watcha doin?” asked Gore, looking over while he wrung hot water out of a rag.

“Just… translating some Dwemeris…” she murmured.

“Why?”

“For fun,” she said with a shrug. “There's no deadlines here like there were at the Embassy. I can just read whatever I want to.”

“The… what?” the Nord’s eyes flashed.

“Oh– dammit.” Iriae snapped the books shut and put her head in her hands.

Caryalind piped up, tilting his book down and pushing himself up on one elbow. “She used to work as the Thalmor’s translator for dead languages.”

“And he's the Thalmor prince,” Remiel informed Gore while she put down Scrap.

Gore blinked very slowly and then dug the palms of his hands into his eyes. “By Talos, this can't be happening…”

The Mer flinched a little. “Can't we keep religion out of anything?” Iriae whined. She tugged on her hair nervously and glanced around at the surrounding trees.

“It's not like the Thalmor are lurking in the forest,” Remiel pointed out.

“You don't know that!” the deserters squawked.

There came upon them the sound of hooves and horses. A person staggered out from the darkness, leading two white horses. He was pale, but still definitely Altmer. If nothing else, the robes of a Thalmor mage gave it away. Remiel dropped Scrap onto the ground and Gore grabbed his sword, but Iriae stopped them both.

“Wait!! Wait. Just… hold on.”

She scrambled to her feet and slowly approached the man. He was clutching his side with gritted teeth. His face was mostly hidden by shadows.

“Well. This is unfortunate,” he grumbled, looking at the Nord and Breton. “I don't suppose you're the rest of my contingent, are you?” He coughed and spat on the ground.

“Nnno…” Iriae mumbled. “Are you… okay.”

“Fine, yes,” he snapped. “I don't suppose you've seen any other members of the Thalmor such as myself, have you?”

“We killed 'em,” she heard Gore growl. The Altmer’s pale face scrunched up in disdain. And then in pain.

“What happened to you?” Iriae asked. She squinted at the area he was gripping.

“Well, myself and my compatriots were sent to root out Talos worship here in the Falkreath area. This horse belonged to my companion, Agent Sanyon. We came upon one such group of heretics and Agent Sanyon was giving his speech until one of them struck him from behind and killed him!”

“You're very nonchalant about this,” Iriae observed. “Doesn't explain why you're hurt.”

“It was self defence, I'm getting there, hang on,” he sighed. “Anyway, I picked up Sanyon’s speech where he left off, and then one of the bastards mocked my dagger!”

“Your… dagger?” Remiel squinted and glanced down. “Is this a real dagger, or some kind of metaphor?”

The Altmer flashed her a killing glare and unsheathed an ebony dagger that glowed slightly in the dim firelight. “No, this dagger. It's been in my family for generations!”

“Still doesn't explain the injury,” Iriae said, trying to get the conversation back on track.”

The dagger began carving an arc in the air. “Oh, I grabbed the one who mocked Berwhale and carved his heart out to show the lot of them!” The Altmer giggled while the other four looked on with varying degrees of horror. “See, self defence. Anyway, then I had to kill the rest.” He groaned and pulled his hand away, watching blood drip from his fingers. “Unfortunately, they put up quite a fight. But I'll live. Probably…”

“I've got a healing potion,” Iriae offered.

“What? Why?!” It seemed that the Altmer before her was just as confused as her companions.

“It just seems like the right thing to do,” she admitted. “Now how about you come out of the dark and tell us your name?”

He heaved a sigh and stepped out of the darkness. “I'm… Taliesin. It's an alias, for my safety and yours.”

She gave him a smile and then froze. In the firelight, she could recognize his face properly. “Oh my gods we worked together,” she stammered.

“I beg your pardon?” Taliesin looked at her confused.

Iriae pulled her hair back and draped the hood of her cloak over her head. Recognition filled he other Mer’s green eyes.

“You're the girl who was in the basement!” he cried, snapping his fingers. “I think you handed me some papers once…”

“Yeah, Elenwen didn’t want me going out very often,” she laughed awkwardly.

“You’re telling me you two know each other??” Gore complained. “Oh, great. Splendid. A whole troupe of Thalmor.”

“Well, I never learned his name,” she said. Iriae handed Taliesin a bottle which he downed immediately.

“Oh, gods bless you. That’s much better. I’m still… covered in blood, but at least it’s not actively spilling from me, hm?” He bowed low and chuckled. “I don’t have anything to repay you for this at the moment, I’m afraid. The best I can do is offer the pleasure of my company.”

Iriae gave him a very blank look for a solid minute. “Are you… trying to come on to me?”

He gave a raucous laugh and shook his head. “No, not at all. I barely know you aside from, what, three total glances before today? Oh, I'm sure we can fix that, if you wish, but no. I’m offering to travel with you. I realise you’ve already got several companions with you, but–”

“Sure!” Iriae was grinning like a fool. “The more the merrier!”

And that was how the five of them found themselves sitting around a fire, trying to rehydrate deer jerky.

[randoimago]

I'd like to ask for Lisa, Eula, Yae Miko & Zhongli (Genshin Impact) with an S/O who's a polyglot (they speak multiple languages fluently)

Polyglot S/O

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Characters: Eula, Lisa, Zhongli, Yae Miko

Type of Request: Headcanons

Notes: I looked and saw that it’s been a month since I’ve had this request. I only got Eula and Lisa done and had like no inspo for Zhongli or Yae Miko >.<

Edit: Added Zhongli and Yae Miko!!

Eula

She struggles speaking her first language, so she's impressed that you can speak multiple.

Asks you how to say different things in different languages. You two will be on a walk and she'll point at something and ask what it is in another language.

Might take notes so she can gradually be able to speak to you in another language.

Probably gets mixed up with all the languages you speak that she says a sentence but it's like she picked and choose what languages to throw in.

Lisa

She thinks it's fascinating that you know multiple languages.

She knows a couple herself, but typically needs a book to help her translate and double check what she's doing.

She's sure to have you by her side when she's doing research in case you can help her decipher different texts or glyphs that use words taken from other languages.

You end up being a nice little study partner with her. But don't worry, she's sure to reward you for your help~

Yae Miko

Finds it amusing that you decided to learn many languages. Is there a reason for this? Do you travel a lot or maybe there's just a fascination? Perhaps it was boredom.

Nevertheless, she finds it useful that you know many languages as she knows a good few herself.

It is fun to see the confusion on other's faces as she speaks to you in many different languages. She even switches it up mid sentence to throw in some extra brain aches.

Zhongli

With how long he's been alive, he knows many languages himself.

He's still impressed that you know as many as you do with your considerably shorter lifespan.

Tries to tell you about some languages that are long forgotten. It'd be nice to have someone to speak those with again. Let that language get passed around instead of vanishing.

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2023-10-16

Another year older. Stealing the Untitled Wednesday Library Series format from Morrak for an open Reading section and then we'll get to the normal post.

Reading:

Untitled Monday Wednesday Library Entry No. 0

Do you like a recipe book? Do you like an unbearably comprehensive and frequently incorrect recipe book? Well boy do I have an item for you:

It's Indian Delights, the de facto standard book of South African Indian cooking. Assembled in the 60's by the Durban Women's Cultural Group and in print ever since then.

The How

A birthday gift from my parents, who sent it from South Africa.

There are apparently places that carry this book outside of South Africa but I do not know what those are.

The Text

Dubious, but useful despite this. It was written in the 60's by a bunch of people who had never and would never again write a recipe book. You may note from the frontmatter that while it has had sixteen impressions since its first publication in 1961, there has only ever been a single revision of the book. There are numerous errors, omissions, and flaws. Recipes may list ingredients that are not used, call for ingredients in the method not given before, begin preparing components and never use them, or outright lie about the quantities of ingredients you need. A challenging exercise.

Any given individual's copy of this book is full of little pen notes, slips of paper, and scratched out experiments. I have a blank canvas.

It is absolutely stuffed to the brim with recipes from the then-almost-century of South African development on South Asian cuisine. It is intended as a one-stop-shop for cooking from a diaspora of extremely wide origins.

South African Indians arrived in South Africa as indentured labour for British sugar farms and could just as easily be from the relatively cold and mountainous North Indian regions or the low, rainy, hot coastal areas of South India. As a result you've had almost a hundred years of adapting to the locally available ingredients, intermarriages across wide geographic origins, and failing memories. There are frequently many duplicates of any given recipe, each with some unique variation of note.

It is also extremely dated. It still lives in an era where "adding an elachi (cardamom) pod to your rice" is a luxurious choice that requires financial considerations, and where meat was still expensive. It also has a delightful section on mass cooking, such as the above "Biryani for 100 people" which has an additional note on the ingredients for a "Biryani for 800 people" on the opposite leaf. These things come up sometimes, although the largest biryani I've ever been involved in was for about 60 people.

It is not really for beginners but it does have a lot of introductory matter, in part because it has to contend with the mishmash of languages and loanwords that exist. You don't know if the reader uses the hindi word for cumin, or the tamil word for cumin, or makes a formal distinction between roti and chapati. As a result, there are extensive opening tables of translations.

The Object

Big, blocky hardcover recipe book. Cheap but hardwearing coated pages. I have seen these in every imaginable state of disrepair, unfortunately I do not have a photo on hand of my mother's which is completely beat to hell.

I mentioned that there have not been many updates, and this continues to the outside. Not a single impression has, for example, corrected the misalignment of the spine and the cover that means it stands out on any book storage system.

Some damage to the cover from the rigours of air travel. It'll recover, or rather, it'll get beat up in ways that make that negligible.

The photography is antiquated, having been taken by a photographer who was certainly good but was operating a) with 1961 camera technology, b) 1961 photographic sensibilities, and c) no real experience in food photography. As a result the images can look somewhat alien if you're familiar with more modern food photograpy. Colours are not accurate, framing is flat, and composition is often packed.

In addition to the colour glamour plates, there are black and white instructional photos, which are much more timeless.

The Why, Though?

Indian Delights is a very important cultural reference for the South African Indian population, and it's a pretty standard leaving home/getting married/leaving home and getting married gift. I've bought a copy for many friends and now this one is mine.

Will I actually use this much? Certainly not that often. My mother and her sisters learned to cook from this book, so it is the root of my personal culinary tradition. That means I already know a lot of what can be distilled from this for day-to-day recipes. Where it is handy is for more technical dishes, which require some guidance, or as an ingredient reference for something new you want to try.

In particular Diwali is coming up and while both my mother and I are staunch atheists, we will also take any excuse to make a ton of sweets for friends. If you are in Prague in the week of the 12th of November you can probably hit me up for something.

Listening: Acheney is a shockingly talented synth designer for the niche softsynth tracker sunvox, available now on windows, mac, linux, windows CE, android, and iOS. I was tooling around with their Guitar synths and decided to check out their music, which is a couple albums of very high concept EDM inspired ambient and/or noise stuff. Here's Euler Characteristic Zero

Watching: @humansbgone is an animated sci-fi series about intelligent giant arthropods and their attempts to deal with invasions of pesky little humans

Big spec-bio focus with a lot of end notes on the arthropods in question.

Playing: Played the Trans Siberian Railway Simulator demo, which I recorded and put up here, with crap audio because it's authentic to what I had lying around after I forgot my headphones at work.

Also: the digital version of the D&D themed agent placement game Lord of Waterdeep with my family, which works quite well. It's weird to have the game handling the admin of moving points around and automatically deducting resources, but it does make the game go very quickly, even if your parents are still figuring out the interface.

Making: Big cooking experiment with a slow roast lamb shank. Came out very well. Lamb shank definitely one of the more animal parts of an animal you can cook. Smells intensely of lanolin and other hair smells. Real greasy. Big honkin' bone. Smooth and fine but sturdy musculature. This thing used to be a very specific part of something alive and that thing lived the kind of life that develops the very particular smells of the insides of a sheep that are very close to the outside of a sheep. You will find some wool fibers in your pan from where the follicles reach down close to the bone and sinew.

Tools and Equipment: Easyeffects is the successor to PulseEffects and is a very complete set of audio tuning and manipulation tools for Linux. You can use it to process incoming and outgoing audio with basically any plugin you care to imagine.

[poorlittleyaoyao]

Alright! So I'm done reading through the 7seas translation of Volume 2. Overall, there were some parts I really enjoyed and found interesting, but not enough so that I'm going to read the other volumes.

Originally there was just gonna be one post, but Things I Found Really Fun/Interesting are gonna get their own post because hooo boy my explanation of Things That Didn't Work For Me got long.

The bullet point version of Things That Didn't Work For Me:

-I simply do not vibe with Wangxian.

-If WWX's narration is meant to be taken at face value, then this story lacks the nuance people ascribe to it. However, I don't think it leans hard enough into him being an unreliable narrator, especially since the narration sporadically jumps into omniscient or even into other characters' viewpoints with little transition.

-Since I already know the story, WWX's complete lack of reflection re: anything related to his past is a dealbreaker for me.

All of these are expanded on ad nauseam under the cut! I'm making this un-rebloggable because I don't really want a discussion here. None of this is meant to be taken as objective assessment. This isn't a book review or a manifesto; this just my personal reactions. If you came away thinking something completely different, cool! You're not wrong! If you came away thinking something similar, cool! You're not wrong either! I'm just typing it out to solidify my own thoughts, and maybe it'll solidify yours too, whether in agreement or objection.

~~~~

-A big part of why I liked this one more than Volume 1 (and why I got through it much more quickly once I started reading it) is that much of it focused on characters who weren't Wangxian, and even when Wangxian were together, they were usually focused on crime-solving. What I loved about their dynamic in the drama is that they were two very different men who are nonetheless work wonderfully together, learn from each other, and understand each other in a way nobody else does; I want that relationship but without the censorship constraints that prevent it from being explicitly romantic. The novel dynamic of LWJ being hopelessly devoted since they were teens while WWX genuinely doesn't even think they're friends when he returns, with all the romance development coming via Wacky Physical Intimacy Hijinks while LWJ is drunk (and thus won't remember later, meaning that there's no development beyond WWX internally going "haha that was weird! hope he's not mad at me!")... that's not doing it for me, and since that's meant to be the centerpiece of the story, no thanks.

-The narration is so WEIRD. WWX is an unreliable narrator, yes, but I don't feel that the text leans into that hard enough, though I can't vouch for how much of that is due to translation. I got through this genuinely unsure whether we were supposed to find him unreliable, because the thing he's definitely wrong about--LWJ's feelings towards him--is presented slightly differently. Incorrect conclusions about LWJ often come in WWX's inner monologue or are phrased in such a way that it's clear WWX personally thinks this, preceded with a "WWX wondered" or "WWX thought" or something like that. The statements about other characters, however, are often presented as statements of fact: "[Character] was [thing]." WWX's editorializing is never in conflict with those statements, nor does the text provide us with reasons to doubt those assessments the way we do with his takes on LWJ.

-The narration also doesn't stay with WWX. It switches into this quasi-omniscient mode to infodump information that is universally accepted as true and/or that WWX would straight-up not know. The viewpoint sometimes abruptly shifts to other characters entirely--during Yi City, we hear LSZ's inner monologue about the congee and how he feels safe around LWJ and WWX in the middle of a scene that is otherwise told by WWX. The narration's tendency to hop around rather than commit fully to WWX's third-person limited viewpoint makes it unclear what (if anything) we're supposed to doubt, IMO. This might be a personal preference, but I think unreliable narrator only works if nobody else gets interiority (so we're clearly stuck in this person's head) or if other characters get equal and competing interiority (so we can compare and contrast). I honestly can't fault readers who take the narration as objective truth, because IMO there frankly isn't much to gainsay it beyond vibes.

(I have some longer thoughts about how novels generally allow for so much more subjectivity than film, the way a script is by design far more subjective than any specific adaptation of it, but this post is already long enough!)

-I don't know how I would receive this story if I hadn't seen the drama first. Perhaps I'd like it more, because I wouldn't be comparing it to anything and all the twists would come as surprises. Perhaps I'd be totally uninterested, because I wouldn't know that cool stuff was coming; Volume 1 was a slog for me, and I mostly got Volume 2 because I knew it had Yi City and the Cultivation Conference drama. We will never know! But, as someone who has seen the drama and therefore knows where WWX has been... his lack of reaction and reflection on anything related to his past is deeply off-putting. He seems to simply not care at all about the harm he has caused the people he supposedly loves.

There's a bit during Empathy with NMJ where he sees his past self try to start shit with JZX with no provocation; JZX asks how JYL is doing, and WWX flies off the handle telling him to fuck off. Though readers haven't yet learned the exact circumstances of their deaths, we know that WWX is held responsible for JYL and JZX's deaths. We know that Jin Ling, whom WWX has been bonding with, is an orphan for reasons that have something to do with WWX. So you would expect, upon being confronted with his past self needlessly antagonizing JZX (whom he inadvertently killed), and actively discouraging his and JYL's union (which he knows now was a happy one), you'd expect SOME sort of reaction. Regret at having been so hostile towards JZX? Realization that this sort of behavior maybe contributed to everyone believing the worst of him? Acknowledgement that JZX had turned over a new leaf at that point? Defensive insistence that well, okay, maybe he was harsh then, but that peacock was soooo annoying before? Rueful amusement at similarities between JZX and JL? LITERALLY ANYTHING WOULD BE FINE.

Instead, all we get is him going "haha, wow, past me was sooooo cringe!" at the very beginning of the scene. He never responds to the altercation itself beyond going "oh yeah, I remember this." Nothing to say here, but PLENTY to say about how LWJ looks and much speculation about LXC encouraging LWJ to talk to him.

"Oh, well, WWX doesn't dwell on the past!" people said when I first complained way back when I was reading the first volume. And that's true, he doesn't! He forgets and suppresses as a defense mechanism! It's a major character trait! But this... doesn't read to me as a complicated man actively refusing to engage. This reads to me, simply, as a man who doesn't care. And yes, I know that the structure of the novel means we can't reveal too about the past much too soon, but there are ways to show a character is impacted without saying what or why. In the wildly nonlinear novel Catch-22, we don't know exactly why Yossarian refuses to fly, but we know he's fucked up about something even before we get the flashback with Snowden's death. In the middle-grade verse novella Love That Dog, Jack is angry and uncomfortable when asked to write about a pet; the target audience of 10-year-olds can already infer that something bad happened to his pet, even though it'll be quite some time before Jack is finally willing to write about his dog being hit by a car.

I don't get that from WWX at all, and whether this is a shortcoming in the writing itself, a failure of translation, or if WWX is just an asshole incapable of reflection, I'm not here for it, and it's too much for me to want to push through since he's the viewpoint character we're with for the long haul.

[gideonthefirst]

tagged by @obeetlebeetle to share my top 9 books of 2023 or 9 books from my tbr list for 2024.

i think i already did a top ten books of 2023 so i will resist the urge to stephen floridapost and instead just do the nine books that i'm currently most excited about and most intending to read specifically This Year

the recently discovered to be accessible to me big three that i'm So excited to acquire from the library are:

The Works of Thomas Kyd: Edited From the Original Texts; With Introduction, Notes, and Facsimiles by Frederick S. Boas

Beyond The Spanish tragedy : a study of the works of Thomas Kyd by Lukas Earne

Thomas Kyd: facts and problems by Arthur Freeman

um. it's been long enough since i finished my thesis that i can be excited to read about him again i guess. and i never got to read any of his translations or other stuff besides spanish tragedy so this trio is going to be huge for fans of me being annoying on tumblr dot com.

the books that i've started previously and then not finished for one reason or another and have emotionally committed to actually finishing this year are:

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

If On A Winter's Night A Traveler by Italo Calvino

Royal Assassin by Robin Hobb

The Body in Pain by Elaine Scarry

and then my currently reading which i sure hope to finish before they're returned to the library or i get bored are:

Exordia by Seth Dickinson. Reading this due to how it's by Seth Dickinson and I'm in too deep at this point not to

Call Me Ishmael Tonight: A Book of Ghazals by Agha Shahid Ali. Reading this as a direct rec from a friend who knows more about poetry than anyone I know and so has taken on the heroic task of trying to recommend me things within my elaborate parameters

and finally as a bonus because i forgot it was supposed to be 9 not 10, my most anticipated confirmed release (sorry tamsyn):

There's Always This Year: On Basketball and Ascension by Hanif Abdurraqib

mostly lately i've just been doing a lot of sort of floating around and reading whatever strikes my interest at the time that i'm looking for something to read and going down nonfiction rabbit holes so i don't really have a defined tbr but. this is what i've got going on :]

i will tag @frogndtoad @storybook-souls @diyemo @katiefratie @steveebarnes @pearlpool @enragedtiefling @summonstarspawn and anyone who wants to do it i wanna see what people are reading :)

[gumclones]

because I spend a lot of time thinking about Bonnie's early life I have a lot of headcanons for things like when she learned the languages she speaks and how.

it's a reasonable assumption that she started out not knowing any human languages, since we see when she first separates from the Mother Gum and she doesn't speak there, only vocalizes.

(arguably the way she communicates with Neddy is a form of language, though he doesn't seem to speak at all and the glowing effects read to me as an indication that she's got some sort of empathic or psychic connection to him and that the popping sounds she makes are a way of focusing on that connection.)

but we know that within the first thirty years of her life she became literate in German:

my headcanon is that she learned German from some sort of recording that had both text and audio – maybe a children's instructional video, or a book on tape she luckily found with the paper book, or some sort of movie with captions.

following from this, as of the beginning of Bonnibel Bubblegum she had at least enough knowledge of written English to read the mug and understand what it meant:

but I think she solidly preferred German at this point in time and that when she talks to Neddy at the beginning she's speaking German in-universe which has been translated for our benefit.

(there's the scene with the goblin who tries to trick her, but I think that funnily enough it makes a lot of sense if you assume that neither of them actually understand what the other one is saying and that they're reacting to each other's actions more than each other's words, but that ties into some other thoughts I have on the reliability of the flashback as a whole.)

by the time she woke up her family she'd picked up enough practice with written English to start using it to label her equipment:

I think the first conversation she had with her family was conducted in English, since I don't know if Chicle's joke would make sense in German and the way Gumbald references what the mug says flows with the conversation in a way that makes it sound like Bonnie addressed him in English.

we see that as of building the candy town they were comfortable enough with English to switch to it for publicly posted signage:

and I think that this came from them now being able to speak English with native speakers more safely and easily! Bonnie on her own likely had a lot of difficulty talking to other survivors both because of the language barrier and because of her size. but Gumbald, Lolly, and Chicle all read and presented as adults, and together they read and presented as a family unit, which would likely put people they might want to trade with at ease and allow them to be taken more seriously.

I think that, while Bonnie used a mix of German and English with her family, German made her feel the happiest – when they give her the car, they use German, and I think that Bonnie switching to "Princess" from "Prinzessin" might have been a way to emotionally distance herself from who the new candy people used to be.

[matthewmoorwood]

Thinking about collections. Thinking about how people collect things for different reasons.

Rich people collecting material objects with high social value but only in their specific circles. Massive shoe collections with matching bags and straight white teeth lit up by professional LEDs.

Sticky handed children breaking open limited edition packaging and making their favourite characters slam their heads together as their ultimate act of worship.

Manga collectors who collect one series or a few volumes from all of them. The thrill of waiting for a new volume to be translated and the bubbling feeling of knowing that this isn't the end.

Book collectors with entire shelves dedicated to one author, despite the fact that some of those books really weren't that good but have the spines cracked anyway.

Adults with the entire Warrior Cats series under their childhood bed, adults with lego sets proudly displayed on mantles.

Girls who collect feathers from the field at school, who then wash them lovingly in the water fountain.

All the kids who have cicada skins stuck to their polar fleeces, or conkers taking up space where their schoolwork should go in desks and bags.

People with free stickers and business cards from every vendor at a con plastered on their walls and journals.

People with secret collections, things they hide in the dark of a wardrobe.

Pen pals who wrap cards with washi tape so the recipient can stick it to whatever they'd like.

Adults who don't actually own anything at all and instead have their worldly possessions wrapped up in bits of code on the web. Adults who have hard drives full of pirated shows and books.

Anyone who has their favourite things tattooed on their skin, so that they never forget what they loved, and so it can't be taken away from them again.

Grown children with their fathers hand painted toy soldiers, the carboard boxes all worn soft.

I just love collections in which the intent isn't resource gathering for material purposes. When it isn't about the money it could be resold for, but instead for the labour of love. The time it takes to build it up, how people buy houses and apartments because of shelf space for their Star Trek figures.

The massive monument of protection in every person who downloads a fic and prints it off, so that if it were ever to disappear from the internet, or the world, at least it would be saved in this one small way.

The painstaking work of ensuring texts aren't lost, that paintings are still talked about, that the ways of craftspeople are written again, and again, and again. Even though the future isn't guaranteed, passing on even these small sections of ourselves, counts as hope.