#i don't think it is but i want to be thorough

[honey-on-your-tongue]

Is this deranged and debauched? Absolutely. Logan just using fem!reader, loving how innocent and inexperienced she is in bed because it fuels his ego.

You were like a poor, lost puppy. You just followed him around, depending on his every word and every move. A single word from him was enough to have you swooning. A touch? You'd sell your soul to him if he asked you to while doing so little as caressing your thigh.

That's exactly why he's not surprised when, while he has you in his bed, his mouth between your thighs, you suddenly gasp, “L-Lo. I...I think I love you.”

He hums softly, licking up your slit. His gaze meets yours. “What'd you say, bub?”

You blush intensely and he smirks. You poor, pretty thing. So innocent, so easy for him. “Um...I think I love you,” you say again, quieter this time.

He chuckles softly. “That's real sweet of you, bub. You pretty thing.” He kisses your cunt.

“You...” You sigh softly and he can see you hesitate. “You don't love me?”

He hums softly, returning his mouth to your soaked pussy. “No, bub,” he says softly, the words muffled by your cunt. “You know I ain't looking for love from you, hm?”

You nod softly, legs still trembling as his tongue traces your opening. But he can see the disappointment in your eyes.

“Hey, we talked 'bout this, baby. Remember?”

You avoid his gaze, hands grabbing onto the bed sheets when his fingers dig into your thighs. He spanks your ass softly, making you squeal.

“You remember our conversation, right? I told you this wasn't going anywhere beyond the physical. You remember that?”

You nod. He spanks you again.

“Use your words.”

“Yeah. Yes, I remember,” you say, nodding.

“Then what's with that pout, bub? Don't tell me you thought I'd actually fall in love with you...”

You avoid his gaze again and he chuckles softly. You poor thing.

He kisses your pussy before crawling over you, moving your thighs to wrap around his waist. He slowly inches his cock into you, hissing softly.

“Fuck, baby.” He groans. “Hey. Look at me,” he says, his hand tipping your chin down, forcing your eyes to meet his.

He sees the tears gently spilling down your cheeks and he clicks his tongue. “Nah. Don't gimme any of that, bub. You knew what you were getting into,” he says, gently thrusting into you.

You moan, eyes fluttering. “I know. I just wish...”

“It ain't happenin', bub. Just lemme fuck you, yeah? You like it when I take care of you, hm?”

You nod, back arching, pretty tits bouncing as he starts thrusting harder, faster.

“Yeah. That's a good girl. Don't worry about anything else, okay? Just feel me in you.” He runs his hands over your hips, admiring your body.

He can't give you what you want—that love you crave, the understanding. He can't offer it to you. But he'll make damn sure he fucks you hard and thorough enough to make up for it.

Even as you cry because you want more, he tells himself he can't give you more. And you're going to have to make do with just the sex.

---

Blog masterlist

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Musician Age Gap AU Pt 14

True to Lena's plan, while the paparazzi on site hounds them for information on Kara, the rest of the world is too taken by the new song to speculate much on who Lena's *current* beau is.

Kara proves to be little more than an escort, following Lena from event to interview to even a hospital to visit the childrens ward. Even so, Kara doesn't mind. She has no thirst for the spotlight at her age, and is content to let Lena be front and center.

At the hospital, however, as she's lurking out of sight from the press cameras (legitimate press, looking for staged candids for the hospital's future use), Kara feels a tug on the hem of her shirt. Looking down, a frail little girl trailing a tattered blanket stares up at her.

"Can you read me a story?"

Without hesitation, Kara reaches for the girl's hand, and they manage to find a relatively isolated corner to huddle in. With a skinny children's book in her hand and the little girl tucked against her side, Kara reads aloud in a low voice, doing her best not to draw attention to herself.

Her efforts are for naught. When she glances up towards the final pages of the book, Lena's gaze is locked upon her, her gaze warm with something indecipherable. Upon being caught staring, she smiles, and cocks an eyebrow to check in. Kara nods, and Lena, satisfied, returns to the gaggle of kids crowded in around her for photos.

Lena is wrangled into a standing meeting with her mother once the children are returned to their nurses and caretakers, leaving Kara to linger on the periphery. To her surprise, Jess is the first to approach.

"Hi!" Jess chirps softly. "Lena has a few friends in town, and they want to take her out tonight before we fly out tomorrow."

Kara's eyebrows lift. "Okay...."

Jess leans in conspiratorially. "My guess is she'll invite you, but by out I mean clubs, bottle service, etc."

At that, realization dawns. "Ah. Thanks for the warning."

She won't mind declining, or spending an evening alone, especially in Paris. As eager to spend as much time with Lena as possible, she's loathe to infringe on Lena's time with friends--

"I don't suppose you brought anything.... appropriate?" Jess continues. "For the club, I mean."

Kara blinks, then barks a laugh. "Hah, no."

Jess nods, grinning. "Thought as much. I can pick up a few options for you, if you'd like..."

After a moment's consideration, Kara nods, smile growing on her face. "I'd appreciate that, thank you."

"Oh, it's no trouble at all! It'll be in your room by the time you get back this evening--"

"Jess?" Kara cuts in, a thought occuring to her. "Could you also pick up some workout gear for me? And maybe... keep all of it a surprise?"

The young woman brightens. "Sure-- do you prefer looser clothes, or more form fitting."

"Tight on the bottom, loose on top, if you can mange it?"

Jess makes a note on her phone, nodding. "Got it." She winks. "We'll put the rack directly in your suite."

"Thank you, Jess, truly."

"Oh," Jess grins, "it's my pleasure."

----

Lena approaches her shortly after, head tilted with an imminent check-in. "Doing okay?"

Kara nods. "Of course. Jess has been taking good care of me."

"Good," Lena purrs. She leans against Kara's chest, kissing her languidly. "I have a question for you."

Guessing it has something to do with the information Jess had imparted early, Kara feigns curiosity. "Uh huh?"

"I'm planning to go out with some friends tonight. Would you.... want to come?"

Kara acts out a thorough consideration of the prospect. In the end, she hedges. "Can I think about it?"

Lena nods. "Of course. And no worries if you'd prefer to take advantage of the time alone. I know this week has been..."

"Wonderful," Kara fills in, bringing a smile to Lena's face.

"Yes," she agrees, "but also a lot. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to decompress."

With a nod, Kara leans in and kisses her again. "I appreciate that."

---

Lena's day continues until well into the evening, with the final interview wrapping up just before nine. Only the thought of seeing Lena in a new environment, with people who were not her mother, keeps Kara from groaning at the thought that the night was really only just beginning.

They split upon returning to the hotel penthouse, intent on refreshing with their own showers. When she steps out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around her, Kara makes her way to the rolling rack of clothes standing next to the closet.

She bypasses the workout clothes, noting only that Jess had fulfilled her request to a tee. The other half of the rack takes more consideration. Hanger after hanger displays dress after dress, all short, all glitzy. Lifting one of the hangars, Kara holds it against herself in front of the mirror, studiously regarding the figure staring back at her.

This is going to be interesting, she thinks to herself. Then she grins. No, this is going to be *fun*.

An hour later, Kara's putting on her shoes when she hears a soft knock on the door joining her suite with Lena's. "It's open," she calls.

"Hey," Lena issues quietly as she edges into the room. "Just checking in, have you made a decision about..."

Lena's words fall away as Kara rises from the edge of the bed, pulling herself up to her full height-- plus another four inch heels now strapped to her feet. Her hair is loose around her shoulders in waves that glint in the light, and her dress is short and layered with gold fringes.

Kara hasn't looked this good since college, and she feels the difference. She feels sexy, and powerful, and *thrilled* that Lena clearly sees it too.

"Oh," the younger woman breathes. Lena herself is clad in a rhinstone studded mauve dress. It comes to mid-thigh, but hugs every curve of Lena's body like a glove. Her sleek black hair is up in a high pony, the tail straight and shimmery. But her eyes are on Kara, and nothing else.

Kara slowly struts towards Lena with a sultry smile. "Does your offer still stand?"

Lena blinks, dazzled by Kara's beaded fringes. "Huh?"

Reaching out with one hand, Kara tilts Lena's chin up to meet her eyes. "Up here," she says quietly.

"Right. Sorry. Just--" Lena clears her throat. She shakes herself out of her daze. "I guess you're coming."

"If you'll have me."

Lena grins. "I'll have you right here if you'll let me..."

"I think I've been hogging you enough lately," Kara returns. "I wouldn't want to keep your friends waiting."

Even so, Kara takes Lena's hips with both hands, tugging her close enough for a kiss. Lena moans.

"Fuck 'em."

Kara chuckles. "I think that would make a bad impression."

Lena looks at her for a long moment. "You really want to meet them, don't you?"

Brow furrowing, Kara nods. "Of course." She pauses. "Is.... that okay?"

Lena's smile warms. "Yeah. It's just... new." Before Kara can ask what that means, Lena steps free, snapping her clutch shut. "Let's get out of here."

---

The club is glamorous, and clearly catering to a high end crowd. There's a cordoned area for paparazzi, allowing both photographs and unobstructive ingress to the establishment. When Kara slides out of the SUV, she's careful to immediately twitch her skirt down so as not to give the tabloids something new to talk about.

As always, she lets Lena set the pace. Lena takes her hand and leads the way into the club. Her free hand lifts towards the paparazzi as they walk the roped sidewalk to the building, in a wave or to shield her eyes or hide her face, Kara isn't sure. Before she could decide whether to do the same, the door opens to admit them, releasing a wave of music and voices from within.

When the door closes behind them, Lena takes a moment to scan the crowd. No one seems to recognize her, or, more likely, don't care. It allows Kara's gaze to catch on a tall, slender brunette at a both in the back, standing on the bench seat and waving them over.

Kara nudges Lena and points. Lena nods. "That's us!" she calls over the din. "Let's go!"

Lena tugs her through the crowd, and Kara soon finds herself watching as Lena throws her arms around the brunette. The hug is tight but brief, before Lena turns to pull Kara closer. "This is Sam!"

Sam thrusts her hand out, gripping Kara's hand firmly as she leans forward. "Kara! Nice to meet you!"

"And this is Jack!" Lena continues. "And Veronica-- who invited you?"

"Fuck you too!" Veronica returns easily. She eyes Kara up and down. "You're hot! Wanna dance?"

In an instant, Lena's arm loops through Kara's. "Sorry, taken! Bye!"

And then, Lena leads her back to the dance floor. Kara doesn't have the presence of mind to be upset at the introductions being cut short-- not with the way Lena's body soon moves against hers. Her movments aren't choreographed, but they may as well be with how quickly it melts Kara's insides.

For her own part, Kara struggles to find the beat. She eventually tries to mimic the bodies around her, but remains a half beat out of tempo until Lena gently grabs her wrists and guides Kara's hands to her hips.

It's too loud to even attempt to talk, but Lena's actions speak loudly enough. Her body moves sinuously, her hands resting atop Kara's, and with their bodies pressed together, Kara finds herself falling into step with her partner's. Soon, all that exists is the heat of Lena's body, the pulse of the heavy music, and the scent of Lena's perfume.

They dance for two songs before Lena calls a time out. They return to the booth only long enough to collect the others, before they all relocate to a second floor Kara hadn't noticed, where there's just enough air for Kara to hear herself think.

"We're gonna talk," Sam says, leaning in to murmur in her ear. "Later."

There's no malice in her voice, which prompts Kara to give an easy nod. She looks forward to knowing more about Lena's friends-- even if it means she gets a shovel talk or two.

Once they collapse in a booth, a server takes their orders for drinks and food-- for which Kara is grateful. She doubts the hunger in her belly will be sated by small bites from the bar, but it could perhaps tide her over until she and Lena returned to the hotel.

"Well," Jack says pegging Kara with a pointed look. "After that display, I think we deserve to hear how this happened." He gestures towards the pair of them, and Lena giggles.

"Kara barged into my dressing room," she delivers. Her fingers lace between Kara's under the table as she continues to relate the story of their meeting. When she finishes, Jack whistles.

"Quite the whirlwind for you then," he says to Kara. "How are you holding up?"

"Lena's been taking good care of me," Kara says with a smile. "It's been amazing to see her work."

Lena beams back at her. "You've been amazing." She shoots a look towards Jack. "Don't you dare scare her off."

"Only if you give me a dance, darling."

Lena sighs. "All right. Come on, before the food gets here."

Kara slides out of the booth for Lena to exit, and as she sidles past Lena kisses Kara's cheek. "The things I do for you."

"My hero," Kara grins. Lena isn't at all put out by the idea of dancing with her friend, and for all the warning Lena gave him, he didn't seem to be antagonistic about their relationship. She watches them go, glad that Lena has the chance to reconnect with her friends.

"Kara!" Sam calls. She waves Kara back to the table. "Come sit!"

Kara obeys, only for Veronica to slide out. "I'm going to find the restroom. You two have fun!"

Bracing herself, Kara turns to Sam-- who laughs and waves away her tension. "Relax... I'm not Lena's keeper. She's clearly into you, and you don't seem to be an asshole, so. I'm good."

"You're Sam Arias, right?" Kara asks. She hadn't been sure before in the strobing lights, but sitting so close she now recognizes the actress from some of the movies Esme likes.

Sam nods. "I'm filming in Florence right now, so I figured I'd stop by while I could. Jack has a cover shoot in Vienna, so we figured we'd make a night of it."

Warmth floods Kara's chest. She's seen how hard Lena works, and how solitary she's been since Kara met her. The fact that she has friends willing to bend their schedules to make time for her when they can speaks volumes.

"Mind if I ask you something?" Sam asks. Kara nods for her to continue. "What do you want out of this?"

Sam's not the first to wonder. The difference is that she's asked, rather than assume like Lillian has.

Kara shrugs. "Nothing Lena isn't willing to give." Sam looks at her, waiting for more. "I'm comfortable. I don't want her money, or her fame."

"Then why drop everything to go on tour with her?"

"Being with her makes me happy."

It's a simple truth, but a truth nonetheless. She can return to National City whenever she likes; Lena has placed no pressure on her to stay. But in National City, Kara's thoughts would stay with Lena, so why condemn herself to being stretched between two locations, when she has the freedom and means to simply stay?

"God, that's refreshing," Sam drawls. She takes a sip of her drink before she gives a broad smile.

"Positively saccharine," comes a dry voice from behind Kara, making her jump. She turns to find another tall brunette lurking over her shoulder. This woman's gaze, however, is far sharper than Sam's.

Sam doesn't seem all that surprised to see their visitor. "Andrea," she greets.

"Samantha."

Andrea sits on the edge of the bench, worming her way in so that Kara is forced to scooch to accommodate her.

"What's interesting," Andrea continues, "is that Lena finally found someone who has absolutely no impact on her career."

Though ostensibly that would be a good thing, the relish glinting in the woman's gaze suggests something much darker.

"Before she's chosen industry people. Singers, actors, reps and so forth. The kind of people who, if crossed, could end her career in a heartbeat. Untouchable."

Andrea leers at Kara, her smile tight and predatory. "But you... mmh."

Kara's features settle into a solemn glare, defensive. "What about me?"

"You're nothing," Andrea responds, as though it's the most obvious thing in the world. "So when you inevitably break her heart, which you absolutely will..." Andrea leans closer. "I'll be able to absolutely demolish you."

"Funny," says Lena, reaching between them to snag her drink. Her face is flushed, upper lip glistening with sweat, but her features are placid. "If only you had put that much care into our relationship *before* it ended."

Andrea blanches slightly, but her features remained solidly antagonistic. "Skimming the gutter, are you, Lena?"

"And happier than during the two years I spent with you," Lena returns smoothly. "Imagine that."

"Get lost, Rojas," Veronica drawls, approaching from the other direction. Andrea is cornered, and she knows it.

She rises stiffly. Moving to leave, she pauses at Lena's shoulders. "Lena--"

Lena scowls. "Please leave."

Andrea hesitates a moment more, but ultimately decides now was neither the time or place to push further. She leaves, and Lena watches her leave with a glower on her face, before she settles onto the bench seat next to Kara.

"Ignore whatever she said to you," Lena says stiffly.

Kara softens. "She cares about you."

"She doesn't get to," comes the sharp retort. "Not anymore."

The message is clear-- Lena does not want to discuss Andrea Rojas.

The mood lightens as Lena's friends expertly steer the conversation away from Andrea's interruption. It's not long until Lena's hackles ease, and she's once more laughing and having fun. Kara relaxes as well, accepting every one of Lena's invitations to dance.

When they leave, it's at Lena's request. Kara's surprised-- Lena's trademark energy still relatively untapped-- until Lena captures her gaze with a heady one of her own. They're on the dance floor when it happens, and Lena leans in to shout into Kara's ear.

"Wanna get out of here?!"

Kara hesitates only a moment, conscious of how Sam and Jack had crossed international borders to see Lena, before she sees Sam not too far off. The brunette's features are astute and smirking, confirming the she understands-- and approves-- exactly what Lena intends.

Before she nods, Kara turns her head to capture Lena's lips as she pulls away. She kisses Lena deeply and soundly, and when she breaks away Lena lists after her. Heavy eyes look up at her, dazed and hungry for more.

"What about your friends?"

"Sam says I've been eye-fucking you all night," Lena calls back. "I'd rather be fucking you for real." She grins. "Respectfully!"

Kara laughs, the sound lost in the music. "Uh huh," she says, mostly to herself. "Then let's go!"

Lena waves at her friends, earning cheeky grins from all three in return. Kara's surprised to see the time is already past 2am. Her blood buzzes in her veins, arousal and anticipation electrifying her nerves.

Kara enters the suv at Lena's slight push, which means when Lena climbs in she plants herself firmly in Kara's lap, hiking up her skirt to straddle Kara's thighs.

"You are so hot tonight," Lena murmurs. "I couldn't keep my eyes off you." She grins. "I wasn't the only one."

Kara blinks. She hadn't sensed anyone staring at her. Then again, she hadn't paid much attention to anyone but Lena.

"I didn't notice."

"I know," Lena purrs, leaning down. Her tongue laves across Kara's throat, before she engulfs all of her senses in a searing kiss. "So fucking hot...."

Kara glances frantically towards the front, hesitant to put on a show for anyone but Lena, but finds that the driver has already rolled up the privacy screen. Kara doubts the screen provides any amount of soundproofing, but it's enough for her to slide her hand under Lena's hitched skirt, cupping a bare ass cheek in her palm.

"Fuck," Kara groans. Her groin tightens, warming with arousal that leaks past her own thong. "Lena--"

"Let me, baby," Lena murmurs beside her ear. She suckles the column of Kara's neck, even as her hand deftly delves under Kara's dress. "I'm gonna make you feel so good..."

Expert fingers find Kara's clit and pause, pressing gently against the throbbing bud. Lena's fingers are warm, but still cooler than the heat between Kara's legs. She curses again, hips bucking ever so slightly.

"Not so fast," Lena croons. "I want you to enjoy this."

Kara's breaths are already coming hard and fast, as her higher brain functions swiftly cease to function. She grunts, pulling a smile to Lena's lips.

Long fingers slide tenderly across Kara's arousal-slicked opening, circling almost carelessly-- except Kara understands Lena knows exactly what she's doing.

"I want you to wait," Lena whispers. "Can you do that for me? Can you wait until we get to the hotel?"

Kara's teeth grind, lassoing any shred of self control she has left, even as Lena's fingers dip between her labia. She enters almost enough for Kara's walls to grip her fingers, but Lena is quick to react, withdrawing before Kara to gain any purchase.

"Answer me," Lena says.

"Y-yes," Kara stammers. "I-- I can wait-- ungh!"

A high, pitiful sound escapes from Kara's throat, wild and unexpected. She feels her cheeks tingle, and knows they would have turned a vivid red if she weren't already red from the exertion of the club.

Lena kisses her, long and slow and deep. As she does, a fingernail lightly catches on Kara's clit, making her gasp. She tastes the warm air and alcohol from Lena's breath, savoring it for a short moment before another stroke of Lena's fingers makes her huff in frustration.

"You're doing so good," Lena tells her. Her free hand strokes Kara's breast, teasing her through the dress until her nipple hardens and stands at attention. "Oh my god, Kara-- you are so beautiful..."

Kara moans plaintively. "I-- I wanna touch you... more--"

"Not yet," Lena chides. She rests their foreheads together, even as she continues her ministrations under Kara's dress. "Do you know what I'm going to do when I get you upstairs?"

Kara grunts, gasping for breath. She's on the verge of coming, and has to force her inner walls to relax lest she climax right then and there.

"I'm going lay you down on my bed," Lena continues, scissoring her fingers inside Kara and smiling sweetly when Kara squirms. "I'm going to lay you down, and then I'm going to ask you to spread your knees as far as you can. I'm going to make you stretch for me...."

Kara's thighs tense under Lena's, hungry in anticipation. Lena leans in close then, speaking low into Kara's ear.

"And then I'm going to put my mouth on you." Teeth scrape Kara's earlobe, sensitizing it for when Lena makes another pass, this time nibbling sharply. Kara throws her head back hard enough to bounce off the headrest.

"Would you like that, baby?" Lena asks, smiling languidly. "Do you want me to lick you dry? Suck on your clit until-- uh uh," comes a stern warning.

Lena withdraws her hand just before Kara climaxes. Kara gives a shuddering sigh, grateful even as she resents the sudden stillness. Her core gapes, walls flexing in search of something, anything to grip.

"You promised," Lena reminds her.

Kara nods, breathless. "S-sorry," she gasps.

"Shhhh," Lena soothes. Her hand returns, playing idly with Kara's clit. "You're doing amazing, baby."

She retracts her fingers again, less cruelly this time, and lifts them to Kara's mouth. Understanding her intent, Kara kisses Lena's slick fingertips, then parts her lips in invitation.

Lena carefully inserts her first and middle fingers, and Kara lets her tongue curl around them. The salt of her own arousal only heightens her senses further, and the pleasure in Lena's features only makes Kara want to perform perfectly, whatever Lena asks of her.

"I--I want...."

"Tell me," Lena murmurs. "Tell me what you want..."

Before Kara can find the coherence to answer, the car slows to a long stop. Lena's eyes flick up to glance out the back window. With a smile, Lena bends back down to capture Kara's lips in a soft kiss.

"You made it," she says. "We're at the hotel."

Lena wipes her damp fingers across her dress to dry them, then clasps Kara's hand and all but drags her out. If there are paparazzi waiting for them outside the building, Kara doesn't see them. She doesn't register much of anything until her dress is a pile on the floor, and Lena pushes her gently backwards. Her legs fold against the edge of the bed, and she sits with a thump.

"Lay back, baby."

Lena kneels, long ponytail spilling over one shoulder. "Let me take care of you."

And oh, does she.

Kara comes in moments, but Lena doesn't relent. She suckles Kara's clit, and licks ardently, endlessly, until Kara comes again and again.

She doesn't relent until Kara breathlessly pats somewhere near Lena's head, unsure if she actually makes contact. Nevertheless, Lena disengages and crawls over Kara, gazing down into her eyes with satisfaction and adoration.

"Worth the wait?"

Kara mutters a curse. She reaches up to snag Lena by the edge of her jaw, pulling her down to a deep, languid kiss.

"Do that again," Kara warns, "and there's no guarantee I won't explode on the spot, if that's my reward."

Lena beams.

"That was so hot. You-- Lena, I...." Suddenly, Kara's brain catches up to her. "Why are you still dressed?"

"I was a little busy..." Lena grins. Her chin is still slicked with arousal, which she wipes salaciously with her fingers.

"Fuck that," Kara growls. She fumbles for the zipper behind Lena's neck, but doesn't find one. "Off... off, off, off."

"Easy, tiger..." Lena casually reaches under her arm, and undoes the side zipper. Then Kara is treated to the sight of Lena peeling the dress up and over her head. Her boots, at least, are already off, leaving Lena utterly, delectably bare.

Lena tilts her head in a tantalyzing tease. She leans down, and the end of her ponytail tickles the hollow of Kara's throat. "How do you want me?"

"I want you so wet I could drown in you," Kara murmurs. Lena's cheeks heat in a ready flush. Carefully, Kara repositions them so that she was the one straddling Lena. She rubs the top of her thigh between Lena's legs, earning her a sweet mewling as Lena wriggles down to try and increase the pressure.

Rather than tease, Kara plants her knee in the mattress, a grounding rod for Lena to grind against.

"What do you need?" Kara asks simply.

"Drawer," Lena says breathlessly. "Under the scarf. There's a-- ngh, jeezus."

Now it's Lena's turn to be frustrated, and Kara finds that she enjoys the picture she paints. She enjoys it very much.

Kara gamely pushes off the mattress and pads over to the short dresser on the far wall. Fishing under the aforementioned scarf, she pulls out a dildo already fitted to a harness.

Lifting an eyebrow, Kara lets it dangle from her finger by one strap, shooting Lena a suspicious glance.

"Planning ahead, were we?"

Lena gives a cheesy grin. "Can never be too prepared," she teases. Her own eyebrow lifts in challenge. "Think you're up for it?"

Kara crosses back to the bed with dildo in hand. Lena returns to her back, and gazes up at Kara with eyes glazed by desire. She inhales sharply when Kara presses the shaft of the dildo between her legs.

"Tell me what you like," Kara urges, her voice low. She kisses her way up Lena's sternum, the licks the hollow of a slender throat. When she pulls back, Lena whimpers. "Tell me."

"I want you," Lena starts, her eyes hooded with want, "to hold me down, and fuck me senseless."

An all new wave of desire floods Kara, making her insides quake. She leans in close to Lena's ear, and feels her partner's breath catch.

"Challenge accepted."

[jesncin]

Are you at all excited for the upcoming Absolute Martian Manhunter book later this year? It'll be the most high-profile launch J'onn has been a part of for a long while, being DC's attempt at an "Ultimate Marvel" line. Given how the approach seems to be defined by removing elements of the characters' status quo - Superman has no Krypton tech, Batman is not a billionaire, Wonder Woman is the last of the Amazons etc. - I think there's a very real possibility that for J'onn they'd pivot in the opposite direction and give us a living Martian society. If only because J'onn has so little anyway, there's not as much to remove as with other members of the League, so the logical thing would be adding something back in to shake things up. I'm personally hoping for some combination of Weird and Noir.

I'm absolutely (heh) excited for it (because a new refreshing change even in an elseworld story is exactly what J'onn needs right now!) but also cautious and,,, concerned. DC's revealed the Absolute gimmicks for just about all the other solo supers but J'onn is essentially still a rumor? What's going on there? I was also concerned when Superman's Absolute gimmick was supposedly "he'll be more alien than human" "he doesn't have a fortress of solitude, no Kents, etc" which,,, sounds a lot like J'onn tbh but we'll have to wait and see. Sometimes writers do this thing where they try to do something new with Superman and it's just re-worked J'onn lore. And J'onn lore is fundamentally flawed so in turn that take on Superman doesn't work, but that's just me with early concerns.

Ooh! That's a good point actually! That feels like the most logical shakeup they could do, and YJa helped warm people up to the idea of a living Mars (which I also agree would spice things up and differentiate J'onn from Clark more). And I'd absolutely (heh) love more supernatural-weird-noir for J'onn! We finally had J'onn play into being a martian detective in the 2019 Identity run, but it was more cop drama than detective noir which I would love to see. My only addendum to the idea of a living Mars as an Absolute gimmick is, since YJa popularized this already, what else will this take do to innovate on that idea? My personal wish list is:

Revitalize J'onn's cast system (a mix of old and brand new characters. Don't just make him watch tv to care about humans. Give this martian relationships!!)

Figure out his themes outside of grief!! (I love sad Martian man but he needs to do more than that! It's been stagnating his character)

No Justice League stuff or other superhero cameos/team ups. (J'onn NEEDS to prove he can stand on his own as a solo character so he can stop being pigeonholed as the League's heart or therapist.)

Fresh new take on Martian world building (please get rid of Martian racism, it's dumb and never made sense. It's a shapeshifting society and the idea of characters like M'gann essentially "greenfacing" to "pass" is so weird)

Critical reimagining of J'onn's relationship to justice (we need to get rid of or critically examine his relationship to copaganda.)

Integrate Blackness more thoroughly into his character (CW Supergirl and that one Nubia Coronation special comic are still the only takes that have done this. Come on guys!!)

More thorough reflection of J'onn's multiple identities (undoubtedly what makes J'onn special. But the comics rarely dig into what it means for J'onn to be multiple people. I would love it if his identities [especially the racialized ones] weren't treated as so,,,disposable.)

Ma'alefa'ak please (I just want to see him again I don't even care if they do a bad job. However all I ask is he be a green martian and J'onn's twin again. And a slutty design.)

The last time we saw a big overhaul to J'onn's character was the New 52, and the major flaw of that run was that it had no clear thematic intention to how it interpreted his character. So we ended up with just a bunch of references and a convoluted edgy story that doesn't help J'onn become a self sustaining solo character. The Absolute line is the perfect platform to revitalize him as a character, but I hope the writers can think in the long term to combat his foundational issues.

[lionheartedmusings]

i will say that there's one thing that bothers me about how tubbo views "the longevity of gameplay" not because it isn't a fair point, but because qsmp has been running for months with create, and the server is pretty alive and thriving? "it should be nerfed, it was way too op" but... that's something to consider in the early days of introducing a new mod, not months later? like love you my guy, but just cause you feel like something is too op doesn't mean that everyone should.

[winterballads]

🪷 The Lotus Flower in Mysterious Lotus Casebook 🪷

i. Growing Deep Roots

As noted by difeisheng, Li Xiangyi is an image more than he is a person. He’s the “symbol” and “beating heart” of the Sigu sect; “he embodies everything [the sect] stands for” and “has become one with every person he represents” in his role as a leader. As such, one might say he doesn’t exist as an individual who’s allowed the luxury of flawed, fluid humanity. Rather, he’s fixed into an object: a shield protecting those under his care, a mirror reflecting those he’s taken upon himself to be the champion for.  

While a heavy burden to carry, this identity as image is also shown to be brittle, hollow, like a hazy mirage which is more dazzling appearance than substance. Even Fang Duobing introduces Li Xiangyi to Li Lianhua by showing him a painting of his shifu — ink on a page, a person turned into a hero to be worshipped and idolated. 

Li Lianhua, over the ten years that pass after the Great Battle of the East Sea, works to plant and cultivate a new identity in the same way one might grow flowers. Li Lianhua forms deep roots and grows out of the mythical hero’s shell he’d been carrying as Li Xiangyi, thus developing an identity which is solid and grounding in contrast — an identity which involves “walk[ing] within a crowd instead of [soaring] above it.”

This shift from image to person is itself rooted in the lotus mantra (written by Buddhist Layman Pang during the Tang Dynasty) which Li Xiangyi first encounters after monk Wu Liao rescues him:

一念心清净 莲花处处开

The heart attains peace with a single thought; Lotus flowers bloom all around.

Although the exact timeline is left to interpretation, it’s implied that the lotus mantra operates as a catalyst of change for Li Xiangyi and that he changes his name to Li Lianhua after reading it. Now what is it about it that speaks to Li Xiangyi so deeply in that moment? As noted in 《 人間福報 》, the lotus mantra teaches us that a pure heart will result in an open and enlightened mind. One subtle, profound thought rife with compassion is enough for a person to glimpse Buddha in a flower, a leaf, a grain of sand or a speck of dust. In short, “if you can find peace within yourself, then you will find peace everywhere.” Perhaps Li Xiangyi, at his lowest point, finds solace in the prospect of stripping his life down to its very core and searching for purity, wisdom and peace within his troubled heart.    

By renaming himself 莲花/liánhuā lotus flower, Li Lianhua takes his destiny into his own hands; he empowers himself into reshaping his identity and laying down the foundations for the person he wants to become. Similarly to The Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity which tells us that “names are the shortest spells in the world,” Li Lianhua’s new name functions as a spell which speaks a new him into existence. It’s a deliberate choice, a conscious attempt at breaking free from the suffocating shell Li Xiangyi was trapped in and become a person of his own choosing. 

The act of (re)naming notably also extends to Li Lianhua’s abode which he dubs 莲花楼 “Lotus Tower.” In addition to this significant choice of name, it’s interesting to note that Li Lianhua starts growing vegetables inside Lotus Tower when he’s left with nothing after his demise at the East Sea and is facing starvation. As such, his home is quite literally a site not only of self-sustenance and survival, but also of growth — a growth which requires hard work, patience and faith and nearly brings Li Lianhua to tears when his hopes are finally rewarded and the seeds he planted begin sprouting. The act of physically planting vegetables and learning to cook those vegetables speaks of a refreshing and grounding simplicity — of something disarmingly vulnerable and human after playing the role of a god-like figure. Li Lianhua has sweat on his brow and hope in his heart; he plants seeds, watches them grow and keeps himself alive by his own hands.

It seems it’s not only Li Lianhus’a home, but also his very person, which steadily grow into a lotus flower. Li Lianhua wears a variety of hairpins directly linked to the lotus, and the colour coding of his garments moves from the red he used to wear as Li Xiangyi to a lighter palette filled with greens and blues — colours which are more obviously linked to nature.

ii. Life Borrowed and Given Away

The lotus, both traditionally and within the drama itself, is closely connected to the theme of rebirth. On a literal level, the exotic lotus flowers of Cai Lian Manor grow directly from the corpses of the victims drowned in the pond, thus embodying life born from death. thawrecka writes in their story that Li Lianhua is “nothing but a lotus nurtured by a walking corpse, a body that doesn’t realise it should already be dead.” On a figurative level, the lotus grows in muddy water but blooms unsullied every morning, thus symbolising rising from a dark place and growing into something beautiful and colourful despite all the odds. The different stages of the lotus’ blooming can be taken to represent the beginning, middle and end of a spiritual path in Buddhism — a parallel to the theme of 趟/tāng taking a journey which underscores the drama in various ways.

Li Lianhua’s journey, more specifically, is that of a lotus being reborn. The soundtrack piece 《 一壶莲花醉 》 “A Pot of Lotus Wine” emphasises this connection in the following lines:

问一句莲花的悲喜 断一柄弃剑入青泥

I ask about the joys and sorrows of the lotus; A broken, abandoned sword is thrown into the mud.

Not only does Li Lianhua keep stressing at different points of the drama that Li Xiangyi is dead and all that is left behind is Li Lianhua; he even breaks his own sword Shaoshi at the end of the story, thereby physically reenacting a process of destruction—death—and rebirth. As Li Lianhua writes in his farewell letter: 

剑断人亡

My sword is broken, and I will be gone.

The significance of Li Lianhua’s action is further intensified here by the fact that the sword in the song is said to be thrown into 泥/ní mud, the site from which a lotus flower grows.

Considering that Shaoshi operates as a device embodying Li Lianhua’s character development throughout the drama, the fact that Li Lianhua decides to break it in the last episode should be taken as a key moment in which he chooses how his own narrative is going to end. Li Lianhua decides to kill for good the glorious image of Li Xiangyi which has become sullied with pain and regret in his heart, so that a simple, fragile peace can begin growing in its place like a lotus flower amidst the mud.

However, the tragedy of Li Lianhua’s narrative is that the rebirth he works to achieve for all these years is not his own to enjoy and never was intended to be. After the Great Battle of the East Sea, as Li Lianhua is reborn from Li Xiangyi and starts planting seeds all around him, he has already accepted that he’s nothing but a ghost, “wandering in the jianghu to close his loose ends and finally [...] vanish without a trace, not even a body left behind.” As mx-myth remarks, even the shift in his garment colours to an overwhelming amount of white as the story progresses makes it clear that he’s resigned to go and has “already started dressing for his own funeral.” 

The lotus flower symbolism permeating the narrative accentuates this bone-deep, unshakable resignation. While imprisoned by Jiao Liqiao, Li Lianhua is full of an aching, bittersweet fatalism when he recites a section of Guan Hanqing’s《 窦娥冤 》“The Injustice to Dou E”:

花有重开日 人无再少年 不须长富贵 安乐是神仙

Flowers will blossom again, But a man can never be young again. Seek not eternal wealth; You only need to be content.

Independently from the original meaning of the lines written by Guan Hanqing, the words seem to take on a sad, wistful quality when spoken with a bitter smile by Li Lianhua. In this scene, while the speaker reflects that rebirth occurs outside of themselves in flowers, they acknowledge that their own reality is one inevitably bound to end in old age and decay. Instead of looking forward to a bright future, the speaker doesn’t express any dreams nor ambitions and is only grateful that they’re alive this minute, this second, without any future prospects awaiting them. Perhaps a similar sentiment is reflected in the following lines from 《 一壶莲花醉 》 “A Pot of Lotus Wine”:

了了心事只 不负众生 而已

After settling my worries,  I just want to live up to all sentient beings.

Li Lianhua’s connection to the lotus flower, in fact, was always meant to be one of non-attachment. While Buddhism believes desire to be the root of all suffering, the lotus symbolises non-attachment due to being “rooted in mud (attachment and desire)” while “its flowers blossom on long stalks unsullied by the mud below.” This explains in part why the lotus is considered pure and noble. For Li Lianhua, this non-attachment takes on sorrowful connotations: it means that he stubbornly refuses to reap the seeds he sows and focuses his purest heart and will into ensuring those around him get to reap them instead. Non-attachment means allowing himself enough (a roof over his head, food on his plate) to survive, but rarely letting himself indulge in the precious luxuries of reciprocated love and care — of carefree joy and thirst for adventure.  

The ten years he lives after his first death at the East Sea are, for him, only borrowed time he didn’t deserve — borrowed time not dedicated to himself, but rather dedicated to others.

In many ways, Li Lianhua’s path effectively goes full-circle by the end of the narrative. When he and Di Feisheng reminisce about the moon they remember from ten years ago, they conclude that today’s moon isn’t any brighter than the one alive in their memory: rather, it remains constant, unchanged, as though the past ten years never existed as anything other than a short pause in the story, a coma, long enough for wrongs to be righted but not  for an already-dead person’s fate to be changed.

It’s interesting and particularly significant that the Styx flower (忘川花, from 忘川 “River of Forgetting” in the original Mandarin) is said throughout the drama to be the only thing capable of saving Li Lianhua’s life. In traditional Chinese culture, the Styx or River of Forgetting is part of the process of reincarnation; only by crossing it (and forgetting everything they’ve ever experienced and everyone they’ve ever loved) can a person finally reincarnate. For Li Lianhua, salvation through rebirth comes at a high cost — a price he’s evidently been ready to pay since the beginning, even if it means turning him into a ghost who must vanish from the story in order for those around him to grow and thrive further.

When Li Lianhua breaks his own sword to allow for rebirth, it’s not himself he’s saving. His sole purpose throughout his journey as Li Lianhua is to use whatever meagre strength he has left, whatever passion and drive are still alive in him, to save the world in any small ways that he can. He becomes a doctor who heals people; he looks for answers and solves mysteries to atone for the sins he thinks he has committed and rectify the mistakes he thinks he has made, so that those he has hurt can finally find peace and comfort.

The most powerful legacy Li Lianhua intends to leave behind by the end of the story has nothing to do with himself and everything to do with the people around him who he never truly admits he loves — the messy, imperfect world that’s caused him so much pain but that he nevertheless insists on saving with everything he has. 

Most strikingly, Li Lianhua chooses—whether consciously or not—to leave the life and future he’s renounced for himself to his companions Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng. The only traces he purposefully leaves behind live in them: in the Yangzhouman coursing through Fang Duobing’s body; the home, dog and recipe book he passes onto him; the worthy opponent he leaves for Di Feisheng to fight in his stead after he’s gone… 

Fang Duobing, by the end of the story, has grown into more than a disciple and a friend to Li Xiangyi/Li Lianhua: he himself has become the lotus flower bringing renewed life after Li Lianhua has left the narrative, thereby taking Li Lianhua’s legacy into a hopeful, vibrant future. As mx-myth mentions in their colour analysis, Fang Duobing notably wears bright pastel tones including a large amount of green/blue — a colour coding which emphasises Fang Duobing’s connection to spring and, by extension, new life and beginnings. “Life will always go on if there’s spring”; and so Fang Duobing’s youth, vitality and optimism can grow in the empty space left behind by Li Lianhua after he fades into the autumn of his life.

While Li Lianhua’s predominantly light colour palette might appear to align him with other characters in the drama who have left the past behind and are looking towards the future, Li Lianhua made peace long ago with the knowledge that he’s destined not to belong in that future. Just as the Lotus Sutra teaches us that “the inner determination of an individual has great transformative power” and “gives ultimate expression to the infinite potential and dignity inherent in each human life,” Li Lianhua focuses all his transformative efforts on creating a future which, despite having no place for him, will be fertile ground for the entire martial arts world to grow deep, healthy roots. In Li Lianhua’s own words:

幼芽生枝 新木长成 武林也一样 这未来如何 谁又能说得清楚呢

The young sprouts and the new trees grow. The martial arts world is the same. What does the future hold? Who can say clearly?

Should we say, then, that Li Lianhua’s story is one of sacrifice, self-renunciation and resignation — of drifting inevitably towards death as a flower carried by a stream? As he disappears on a boat and is asked where he’s going, Li Lianhua gives a response which echoes his first death at the East Sea in a way that feels entirely deliberate:

小舟从此逝， 江海寄余生

From now on I would vanish with my little boat; For the rest of my life on the sea I would float. 

How are we to understand a person being reborn simply so they can pass on that new life to others, and being convinced that their only true value lies in their death?

Perhaps, in spite of it all, we can find some small comfort in the knowledge that, no matter how sorrowful Li Lianhua’s fate, it’s at least one that he chooses — one that he has full control over, even poisoned and robbed of his life force as he is. As the lyrics of 《 一壶莲花醉 》 “A Pot of Lotus Wine” underline, “it’s just a matter of picking an ending that you like.” Perhaps that’s all that truly matters. 

wuxia-vanlifer makes an excellent point when asking: “What would be more tragic? That he never believed he was loved? Or that he did, but vanished anyway?” While I don’t have an answer to offer, there’s one thing I can say. Li Xiangyi, Li Lianhua — they live and die by love. They can’t conceive of themselves as anything other than a sacrificial tool because, for all that they pretend to be aloof and untethered, they actually love others—and the world—in a bone-deep, profound way they’ve never loved themselves. That love is not only the true driving force behind Li Lianhua’s character and the fate he chooses: it’s the beating heart of the entire drama.

“In this life, I have loved and I have been loved. That is enough.”

Shoutout to the following authors and bloggers whose brilliant words and ideas inspire me, as well as this gorgeous video 💖

ao3: @extraordinarilyextreme @thawrecka

tumblr: @difeisheng @extraordinarilyextreme @mx-myth @wuxia-vanlifer @xinyuehui

[fisheito]

for the question thing!!! do you have any silly hcs about the clan boys (+ the familiars/eito)? can be as wild as u want

sorry in advance if i don't have any HCs for ur beloveds bc i can only offer what my brain chooses to fixate on.... but let's see........

i like to imagine clan members enjoying fun little hobby hours

i pretend they're not busy adults with their own obligations and schedules.... so they just get together like a bunch of retirees and partake in shared hobbies whenever they want 🤗

e.g.,

book club: oli, blade, yaku, garu

horny book club: eiden, morv, blade, edmond if he works up the courage to discuss his fave BDSM PwP short novel with the 3 most shameless creatures ever ... honestly oli could join as well but i'm gonna excuse him from ONE book club so he can get some sleep. maybe he'll alternate days between the two 😆

sewing and knitting together like a couple of serene grandmas: yakuoli. eiden joins sometimes (all serenity is lost when he does)

TARGET PRACTICE! NEW ACTIVITIES!!! DARTS!! ! PIN THE TAIL ON THE EDMOND! sorry idk this is just my way of saying that after the cowboy event, i want to imagine edmond/dante/garu all playing target striking games and it becomes a contest of how split one dart can be down the middle (you can't all be perfect aimers ok aster can't keep buying new darts can u PLEASE throw them anywhere but dead centre).

i know blade could join as well but would it take the competition aspect out of it? he's kind of calibrated to never miss right?? it's not a game anymore. it's just superior blade and pissed off dante and garu cheering (he's just happy to be there) and edmond trying to be civil about letting everyone participate

they are out in the garden. touching grass: yaku is gardening. blade is collecting bugs. garu is digging holes. kuya is bewitching plants at random to spew sex pollen into someone's face (i feel like this is his superpower in SEVERAL fics and i am not complaining). quincy is trying to nap

.but .

he chose the worst place to do it. in the middle of nature's playground (aster's garden)?

garu's kicking up dust into his face. blade is shoving random insects into his face and asking identification questions. yaku screams when he inevitably falls to the kuya traps. kuya can't resist watching the little ones (yakugaru) play with dirt. WHY would you choose to sleep here.

(Topper is nibbling all the edible plants in the garden while skillfully avoiding all the porn plot traps with his superior Toppinstincts)

now for 3 ! single character HCs.......

kuya: wanders the marketplace, and often sees those anti-aging creams with LOFTY claims to their power... he always mocks them and insults the intelligence of all the vain people clamouring to buy the stock. later that day you will see kuya at home, trying those very same creams (procured illegally, of course, because why pay for anything ever) and pretending like he's zero percent interested in the results

rei: in the same situation will just as quickly mock the creams but unlike kuya he'll mean it and will NOT be caught applying the gloop all over his face later. "lmao it's just sunscreen who even believes this shit"

yakumo: i like to give him sneczema sometimes. i know it's implied that everyone in gay gacha has perfect skin forever *waves hand dismissively* BUT

imagine that he loves working with his hands but the sneczema can flare up if he's too rough on em, so he compromises by wearing his gloves. protect that vulnerable skin, yaku!! [insert pun about scaly skin]

His SR clothing material seems soft. Aesthetic reason: slippery smooth like the idea of snek. Practical reason: coarse textures can aggravate skin 😔 only the silkiest coverings for a scaly boy...

i mean. yaku prefers the wet cave environment so we gotta keep an eye on his humidity. too dry and he'l'l turn into a wafer (like in Solaria that One Time)

is this just an excuse for me to mist him with a spray bottle ? at random times because it just seems like fun? perhaps. spritzspritz

[professor-doc-emeritus]

There's a lot of reddit refugees/AI bot accounts here and on other websites that are spreading AITA posts around, but not sharing the required-reading post that's necessary if you want to engage with that content without becoming a goblin

[unproduciblesmackdown]

costume design, set mockup, and rehearsal photos from this guide to the show that's like really thorough in providing Context like, mini articles about the creators of the original movie, musical, and movie musical, about other versions of productions, the history, quotes of other commentary, interview quotes, context of other / preexisting genres like b movies, faustian stories, "what if a plant was weird" stories, glossary of terms (such as references that may generally be less obscure if you were in the '60s, e.g.), suggested further reading....haven't read it top to bottom but i think it's fantastic, link to the pdf as post source

[yeonban]

What if I celebrated Sethos' birthday (31.05) and release (05.06) with a graphics revamp and him as the new poster boy for the month of June...

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Update on my Whumptober thoughts: Not all the prompts will be posted, I have all 31 planned out but I found out that you don't have to post all 31. If a fic is finished, I'll post it but there's some big beasts that I want to write properly instead of rush. Also, I might not even write all 31. I want the completionist title but I don't have the time nor energy to force myself to write all the prompts and I did it last year and it wasn't like life-changing. I like Whumptober because the prompts help my creativity, spark some inspiration (talking about my Delancey Brothers Fic) but the perfectionist in me just beats myself up about not getting enough fics done before October or not writing enough each day to get them finished and then writing fics that all sound the same or the ideas being kind of shitty because I'm forcing them. I want to do my ideas justice rather than mass produce shit I don't like because I feel I need to, it's a constant line I walk between "I want to write something well and that I'm proud of so might be inactive for a while on AO3" and "I want to get this idea out there so need to post a bunch of stuff now"

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

Boy, I sure do "love" it when I search the tags for a specific character, and not only are the tags filled with the movie version of the character (fine, that's at least relevant) but also filled with random pictures of the actor in any role, because some people apparently tag pics of the actor with EVERY major role they've played.

And by "love it" I mean I'm going to start biting petty blocking people.

[street-corner-felines]

Zero Day Director commentary - With actor Andre Keuck

[jemmahazelnut]

Juvia for the character bingo?

I adore Juvia, I’m the only one who can speak about her and I know her better than anyone, even Mashima himself.

No, ok, of course I'm kidding, but premise: if you are a Juvia-and-Gruvia stan, this post is not for you, because I don't care about the version of a perfect and adorable Juvia who deserves the world because she's pretty and never done nothing wrong in life etc. Likewise, if you're a Juvia-and-Gruvia hater, this is no place for you, because I literally don't care if you think she's a horrible canon person who deserves to die and disappear off the face of the earth.

If you are Juvia stan and Gruvia hater (I know you exist somewhere), this is the place for you (or if you are indifferent to Gruvia, or if you like it but you are not avid shippers proclaiming Juvia as the ideal girl. Actually, idfc what you think about the ship, I just know that shippers and antis generally think in compartments and don't want to question anything, so if you belong to one or the other category, go on and see other posts).

So, now let's make two things clear before starting the discussion.

Juvia is not a lovely girl, nor is she a good person. Juvia is a fucking messed up person who has good intentions, but having not lived in a good place most of her life she has unhealthy relationships with many people, highly questionable behavior, and a very bad relationship with herself. She is also a strong and cruel woman who can kill, she will and she has already done. And despite all that, she deserves the love, but more importantly, she deserves a fucking painstakingly detailed development arc (and no, if you tell me there's no forgiveness for her, Ill get pissed, everyone have had a development arc, Jellal, Laxus, Gajeel, Cobra, Sting, etc. but Juvia doesn't deserve it? Don't even talk to me).

I won't explain all my ideas about her in this post, otherwise it would get very long because trust me, I have an Odyssey in mind, but basically:

Juvia is a girl in love with the idea of love. She has lived her whole life alone and desperately wants to make friends and find her life partner, so as soon as she meets someone who is even a little bit nice to her, she becomes morbidly attached, as indeed she did with Gray. But she doesn't just do it with him, she also does it with her friends, so Lucy, Cana, Erza, and other people in the guild. As soon as someone extends a finger of hers, she takes the whole arm and craves that affection that she always sees in others. At the same time, she's not good at showing affection in the normal way, so she does weird things, and usually she's overly pushy and willing to literally go out of her way to get anyone to accept her. She sacrificed herself for Cana, so yeah, she would literally do anything, and she doesn't understand the limits of people, so as long as someone gives her something, she takes, takes and takes. She is also very insecure of herself, so it doesn't take much, a miserable 'no' and she risks going back to being the lonely rain woman and that she annoys everyone with the weather she brings with her. When this happens, she leaves the guild because she is afraid to annoy her guildmates and return alone (Lucy and Natsu always join her and stand by her in those moments).

She has a complex relationship with Gajeel, but he's also probably the only real friend she has, at least in the beginning, because she doesn't feel this need to continually affirm her affection for him. She's not even afraid of him leaving, because Gajeel has already seen the worst of her in Phantom Lord, and he's stayed, and she knows that he will stay by her side because he's one of the few people who understands her. (Then Cana will also become friends with her in a similar way).

She is an unnervingly strong sorceress, let's not forget that she was an S-class level in Phantom Lord. She was cruel too, she killed people with the Water Lock, and she wouldn't hesitate to do it if she saw something that reminded her of her childhood.

Speaking of her childhood, she was awful. From an early age she was considered a cursed child because she brought rain everywhere, for this reason her parents put her in an orphanage. She had no idea, and after spending her early years in an orphanage with everyone staying away from her and bad-mouthing her, she went looking for her parents. She hoped to reunite with them but when she found them, they did not recognize her, and badly kicked her out of the house saying never to be seen again. She moved to a village and tried to live alone, but still everyone annoyed her and told her to leave. One day someone annoyed her so much that she seriously injured him by trapping him in a water bubble and suffocating him. Since then, she has escaped from there.

She tried to remove the magic herself, with dangerous methods that put her life at risk, but it was unsuccessful (I have a whole arc in mind on this omg). She even pushed herself too hard with her magic that she nearly died. Probably in a very dark period of her life she also thought about ending it. This until she entered Phantom Lord. There, for the first time, she found a place that accepted her, and she immediately understood that the stronger she was, the more she was accepted. That's why she trained hard and became ambitious, she wanted to surpass all wizards, she thought that as she got stronger, she would have more friends. And more or less, that's how Phantom Lord worked. She was also able to use her power to its fullest, because nobody cared to use good methods, she could kill and she did it without hesitation, especially when she saw cruel people who reminded her of her parents or the people who they bullied. She felt somehow at home.

She then entered Fairy Tail, and for the first time she saw the sun thanks to Gray, which is why she thought that Gray was her life partner and so she became attached to him.

From here my version completely changes from the canon, or rather, initially it's similar with her becoming obsessed with Gray (but not only with him, also with Lucy and Cana and the other guildmates), then as she goes on making mistakes, understands how to actually build a true and healthy friendship. She learns to love herself and to understand what she really wants other than 'not to be alone', and discovers that she is actually very ambitious, she wants to be strong, she likes to be strong, not just because she likes admiration, but precisely because she likes to be able to protect her loved ones. She's always fucking creepy when someone touches her loved ones, like, you know the scene on Tenrou where she's fucking creepy when Meredy talks about killing Gray? Well, yes, Juvia is like that, only not just with Gray, but with everyone in the guild, touch someone dear to her and she will kill you, absolutely and without remorse.

She also remains a romantic, a person who adores small gestures of affection, a clumsy, she loves children but never knows how to behave with them, she is a very manual girl, she knows how to paint, but above all she knows sewing clothes or building accessories, girls always come to her and she is always happy to give them gifts. She is also a mega emotional and sensitive girl, when she feels an emotion, she feels it to the nth degree. When she's happy she gets loud, and infects everyone with her happiness showing it to the world, when she's sad no one can cheer her up, when she's angry you better run.

She understands that her relationship with Gray is complicated and one-sided, and she tries to act better and walk away from him when he tells her he's not comfortable with her. When she does that, Juvia discovers that in reality she is happy even without him. Like, she's a friend of Gray, a close friend, but she understands that her love was in her head. Then they cultivate a beautiful friendship, which if you want can also become true love (or not, you decide, but there must be that passage of self-understanding first. Actually, I'm a bit indifferent to the ship but whatever).

And then I'll stop here, even if I have things to say about the relationships she could have with other people, primarily with the Thunder Legion (in my opinion she gets along very well with all of them and also with Laxus), with Gajeel (their friendship is complex and that's okay), with Lucy (they are bestie fight me), with Erza (Juvia admires her), with Lisanna (Juvia listens to what the Edo version of Juvia was like and thinks about herself), with Cana (a bestie much more sincere than Lucy, she doesn't mince words when she has to make it clear when Juvia acts like a bitch), with Mira (these two girls are actually more similar than it seems), and that's it, now I stop.

It would have been faster to write a fanfiction.

(However I don't think this version is very far from the canon.)

[lenteur]

bias tag game

rules: you're going to pick 10 of your biases (or as many biases as you have and then fill in the rest of the spots with idols you like) and number them 1-10. then answer the questions below! try not to look at the questions before you make your list!

tagged by @yoohyeontual (not gonna lie, i'm still tempted to write @/korimi4) ♡ tagging: @byunbaekhyunie @kangseulqi @kingdomtual @kjisoos @kwon-eunbi @psyoungs @seulggi @soraenun @urons @venompinks and anyone who wants to do this game, consider yourself tagged

yes i am aware most of the biases listed below are no longer active idols but they still hold a special place in my heart ❤️

1.krystal / 2. suzy / 3. yeri / 4. yerin baek / 5. hikaru / 6. kang mina / 7. yeonjun / 8. nana (from woo!ah!) / 9. ahn sohee / 10. luna

1. between 7 and 5, who did you bias first? considering he debuted first, this one goes for yeonjun.

2. between 2 and 6, who are you more attached to? bae suzy ♡ i've grown up with her and i don't think i'll ever stop ulting her

3. if you were to spend the day with either 3 or 1, who would you choose and what would you do? i was hoping to not end up with this kind of question because i know i'm way too awkward and wouldn't know what to say/do. other than that, the only instance where i'd want to meet one of my biases is at a concert, that's it! with that in mind, and after some consideration, i'm choosing krystal because i feel like we relate to some degree with each other. and she'd show me cool places with beautiful architecture.

4. what is your favorite physical feature about 9? i've always thought her face was stunning. i just don't know how to explain it but yeah, beautiful face!

5. what is your favorite part of 6's personality? i'll say her perseverance (had to check the spelling). she went through the whole produce 101 situation, ended up in the final gg. and then she went on to debut with gugudan and had to go through her company not paying enough attention to the group as a whole. when her contract ended, she then chose to pursue a career in acting. and i think that's beautiful because you can see how much effort she puts to reach her goals.

6. if you were to tell 8 anything you wanted, what would you tell them? so many things i want to say... first, i'd like to tell her to never lose her smile because her joy is contagious. also, she is an incredible performer. whenever i watch woo!ah! fancams, my attention is drawn to her because her stage presence is amazing. and you can see how much she likes being on stage and performing songs with her group. so, all in all, nana you're such a fantastic performer and i can't wait to see you perform other songs.

7. between 1 and 2, whose closet would you raid? ... ..... .............. ...................................... it was a rather difficult choice because i like both of their styles but i'm going to go with suzy, especially her guess outfits. they're cute! and the carin glasses were amazing as well. oh and she's also a new longines ambassafor and i'm a big fan of watches so yeah :D suzy wins this one ^^

8. what is a style that you want to see 3 try? i don't know if it's already happened but i totally see yeri rock a retro (60s/70s/80s) concept. and i'm talking about both clothing and music. i think she'd pull it off well. i'm curious to see that

9. between 5 and 4, who are you closer to in height? i really thought it was hikaru but no, it's yerin baek. i'm actually in the middle between the two.

10. between 10 and 9, whose music do you like the best? considering ahn sohee hasn't released solo music, i'll go with luna. even if i had to choose between wonder girls and f(x), i'd still choose f(x) because i like their music better (just a tiny bit)

[bookwyrminspiration]

ALSO also watched the second episode of black sails and resisting the urge to watch it again bc i'll probably find out what's actually happening in the next episode (<- looked away for TWO SECONDS) but Ah. poor max. also i will strangle the man who stole the schedule with my bare hands like i KNOW it's for the story to move in an interesting way but he's so annoying. i love the writing and how well the actor plays him but like- like- LOOK at him. and he CAN'T EVEN COOK

I know!! I swear you can't look away for a single moment every second is vitally important somehow. The first time I watched the show I started like 3 episodes in (my dad had been watching and I kinda just went huh looks interesting and sat down), and I kept asking questions and he would keep saying "don't worry you didn't miss that much" like??? Sir now that I have seen those episodes how could you possibly say that, I missed so much.

Also it's so so interesting to see your thoughts on Silver, I cannot wait to see what you think of him as the story progresses and how you look back on him. Beginning vs end. Because no spoilers but he goes so far. he's so silly. he's like you should let me join your crew. as a cook <- has never cooked before in his life and is serving raw pork. As a character his wiles and shifty, self-serving nature is incredibly interesting but in relation to the rest of the story? my guyyy you're causing problems

This is only tangentially related but when my dad and I watched Black Sails the first time, we watched every episode once (typical) except for this one episode. I don't remember which number it is, nor the specifics of its contents. But it was so good that we were both just like. Hang on. Pause. We're watching that through again. And we did. We were just there jaws agape like what the fuck dude!!

Anyway I hope you continue to watch and enjoy because oh boy do I love black sails!!

[wldrose]

@amoirsetpacis

This data has been held in Kugisaki's hands for a good minute now. She's not entirely sure how to feel about this. There's fear, pain, and something else. It...makes sense. It really makes sense. So, she had been right. Well, maybe. She doesn't know if he actually did die back in the hole, but this memory in her hand that revealed some truth.

Kugisaki?

And she tenses a bit, lifts her head up to look at the man standing before her. "..." His memory is clutched in her hands. She's quiet, a little TOO quiet.

Eventually she does break the silence between them, "I found....I found this."