#i dont deserve anything nice all i deserve is some sweet ass death

[hearteiji]

hi sorry if this is overstepping but i really needed to tell you how much i appreciate that response you just posted (to that ask about if death was a better option for ash). i, like you, am nineteen and have some sexual trauma that really haunts me, and banana fish really kicked me up the ass and made me acknowledge a lot of it. i debate on whether it was a good thing or not, because it was definitely at a time when i wasnt ready but im also the kind of person who needs a tough shove in the right direction otherwise i simply would Never Address Anything, but the fact remains the same that coming into the fandom and seeing people so shamelessly debate trauma i very much saw myself in, asking things like 'is it even worth living after experiencing that?' when i was sat there relating to it - it wasn't pleasant. the fandom has a habit of doing that in what is just casual discussions between users but to victims of sexual trauma is so triggering, because like you said they're talking from a place of privilege (and im so glad you worded it that way because i never thought of that!). like discussions on if ash will ever enjoy simply being touched again or if he's 'ruined forever' etc etc, it's all so inadvertently insensitive and it's so nice to just find people who feel as i do, even if it is awful that we even feel like that at all. like actually we aren't ruined or bad or dirty and we do deserve the time and energy of a happy ending instead of a cheap death in the last ten minutes. so just yeah. thank you so so much for being brave enough to share your experience and putting it all in such a kind way. i hope things get better for you and im so proud of the progress you've made so far.

(again sorry if this is weird or too personal you dont have to answer this i totally get it)

This isn’t overstepping at all—thank you for sending me this. Im smiling while reading it and although we don’t know each other there is an inherent brother/sisterhood in our experiences. You get it. You see me.

There is such a privilege in viewing media like banana fish as something purely fictional. The fandom definitely has a habit of taking real life experiences and turning them into angst fueled or hurt comfort scenarios—seeing Ash as something beautifully tragic and a romantically star-crossed queer—rather just some teenager who experienced a nightmarish amount of pain and who deserves to spend the rest of his life healing. Just like us. We arent ruined or incapable of intimacy or broken, we are just people. We can have happy lives, and we will.

Thank you for this ask my sweet love! Im proud of you too. Healing from this is just as difficult as it is possible (both are guaranteed but worth it)

[rinpastel]

uhh

[h3l10tr0p3]

MANGA CH. 284 SPOILERS

OF REDEMPTIONS AND ATONEMENTS:

We all been knew, man. We all knew this was coming.

And godDAMN does it fucking HURT. (oh the sweet sweet angstfest this whole chapter is, just *chef's kiss*)

But i legit cannot put into words how deep the choice to 'Atone' cuts on my bleeding bkdk heart. Let's first take a step back and see how Katsuki went from DvK2 to here- that one keystone moment that has given us this beautiful chapter: And I meant ALLLL the way back to Chap. 252

I have already written a whole-ass post based on this panel, which you can check Here.

TL;DR Katsuki was actually paying real close attention to Endeavour in this part. He came to Endeavour to learn exactly what he was missing as a Hero, but he learnt so much more.

This scene in particular left a momentous impact on Kacchan. Here, Natsuo is resistant to the idea of forgiving his father for all his sins just because he is more involved in their lives now. And Endeavour had been dreaming for a while about a Home where he is not present with the rest of the Todoroki's which ultimately gave him the idea of buying a house for the others to live in apart from him. This is HUGE. This is what actually drove Endeavour's Redemption home- the perfect understanding and the perfect compensation, the two elements of a brilliant Redemption Arc. NOT THE FORGIVENESS, just as Enji says it. It is NEVER ABOUT THE FORGIVENESS.

Endeavour understood that it was his presence that caused his family distress, and although he dearly wanted to be a part of his family again, was even making efforts towards it by being cordial and accepting of Shouto's friends, inviting them to a family dinner, etc. etc. Endeavour realized the only way he can compensate/atone was to give up something that would cause him suffering, and them happiness. The idea that your family doesnt want you, when you just started to show some effort and HOPE that they might see you in different light, maybe forgive you and then to just terminate those ties entirely, punting yourself into a void where NO ONE CAN COME IN AND SAVE YOU FROM YOUR SUFFERING, is exactly what Endeavour did. He is actively shutting down the ONE window through which his family could see that he was suffering, and miserable, and wanted to be a part of the family again. Endeavour CHOSE to not be forgiven. To writhe with the knowledge of his sins day in and day out with only the shrine of Dabi Touya to haunt him every waking minute.

I cannot explain just how much determination it takes to do that, man. It's just- WOW.

Excuse me for ranting on Endeavour in a bkdk post, but I swear this has a point. And All Might says this the best:

This is the fanlation, the official release (which I couldnt get my hands on) also mentions that "When I meant you were like Endeavour, I meant the Change"

This here is an important bit that AM has caught onto.

In the 252 panel, where Endeavour says 'It's not like I want forgiveness' (Because Endeavour understands he cannot be, should not be, forgiven) "I just want to make up for everything I have done" (and to back this up, Endeavour shuts down the one communication link that could have offered him forgiveness, and thus salvation from the weight of his sins and his guilt)

Katsuki understood Endeavour's idea of redemption very well here, although he might not be shown with that light-bulb moment. He may have already known this wayyy before Endeavour said anything, but those words lent a solidity and to the path he must persue to acheive redemption: And it's Not forgiveness.

Let me tell you why I think Atonement is the greater factor here, even greater than Redemption itself. Redemption has an end-point: Forgiveness. But Atonement doesn't. Atonement has no expiry date. Atonement is purely propelled by the understanding of self, and the weight of guilt the self bears, whereas a Redemption is All About The Forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an external force, it may or may not be given to you and that is completely up to the person who has been wronged. Atonement is self-imposed, it is a meditation of the soul to forgive itself against the guilt it carries.

If Redemption is a marathon with a banner at the finish line, Atonement is trying to drag a twenty pounds of rocks through the Sahara desert without water, food or a compass- it's endless, hopeless.

And this is why Atonement is greater than Redemption.

And do you think someone as stubborn as Kastuki will ever find himself atoned of his deeds? No. And That, my friends, is The Point. In 252, when Endeavour says, "I dont want forgiveness" it's not just him saying it- it's also Katsuki. "I just want to make it upto you", is also Katsuki.

And to prove it, Katsuki will never ask for forgiveness. A verbal apology will be nice, sure. Especially since dumb-ass, gay-ass, 'Kacchan-sugoi' ass Izuku Doesn't even See it as Atonement. He is just #Blessed that Kacchan and he can talk almost-naturally again. And that is also Katsuki's intention- because the moment Izuku knows, he won't be able to atone this way anymore.

So, as much as I HATE to say this, the chances of a voluntary verbal apology are slim. If allowed to go on like this, Kacchan with continue to shadow Izuku through his life, worrying about him, LOSING SLEEP OVER HIM :

LOOK AT THOSE BAGS UNDER HIS EYES. /*shoves panels in yo face*/LOOK

Can you believe this bitch-ass gremlin who goes to sleep at 8:30 got bags just from stressing over his Deku??????

LOOK AT HIM DOING A HECCIN' MAJOR KOKORO-STOPPING CONCERN.

(He is flipping his shit because he worries, and he worries so much, and has worried for him for a long LONG time.)

- Katsuki will continue on this path of being Izuku's support.

Forever if it takes.

Forever, he hopes, it takes-

Because the only way he will stop is in death, either his own or Deku's.

This is his Atonement: To undo everything he once did, to support Izuku's dream instead of squashing it; To help him get stronger instead of perpetuating the narrative on his weakness; To protect him from all harm, when he once hurt; To be on his side when the whole world is against him, because once he was all, but, for him; To save Izuku as he wins, to win as he saves.

And, To deny each oppurtunity of forgiveness even as he desperately longs to be unburdened of his guilt.

Because Katsuki knows:

He knows Izuku is that one of a million, he is kind and humble and considerate and loving to a fault.

Katsuki knows that Izuku will forgive him in a heartbeat. That is just the kind of selfless, beautiful person he is.

Unlike Endeavour, who had no guarantee to forgiveness, Katsuki does. And that is what makes Katsuki's Atonement more powerful than Endeavour's. He recognizes it is in his grasp, just an arm's length away...

....Just an arm's length.

And Katsuki will deny himself that. Because he does not believe he deserves it. He hasn't atoned enough for it.

"Keep At Arm's Length"

He says. Because this is the critical distance between them. Not "Stay an arm's length away", because Katsuki doesn't wanna run away from Deku, and he doesn't want to be too far away to protect him, nor does he want to get too close to finally recieve the forgiveness that will give him salvation.

This is the fine balancing act Katsuki must maintain indefintely till he believes he has acheived his idea of atonement. (And when has he ever been happy just the bare minimum?)

I know I said Katsuki will never ask for forgiveness, and a voluntary verbal apology is very unlikely, because in it's very nature, it is inviting a forgiveness from Izuku, which we have established, Katsuki wants to avoid. And if this were any other manga, we would have been doomed to this conclusion. But, there is a scenario when Katsuki might issue a verbal apology and that is when Katsuki knows there isn't enough time to be forgiven in turn, or, hasn't atoned enough and can no longer continue to.

Like when Katsuki launches off, to deliver a final kamikaze blow to a villain, and he has only enough time to tell Deku a short "I am sorry", but not enough time to wait for a reply. Or when Deku is dying and at his final moments, when Katsuki knows however much he has atoned isn't enough and isn't how Deku should leave, without closure.

Whatever the future may hold, my dear readers, Katsuki still has a long, long way to go. And I hope to see him live through everything, to be there -

To survive these wars with Deku, To fight alongside him, To protect him. To win. To save.

To Live.

To hear Deku say "I had forgiven you a long time ago";

and ofcourse,

To forgive himself.

[ackermans-freedom-inc]

Who do you think your moots could pull and why?

Alright lets go I have...so many moots and if I forgot u its 300% my bad pls come hit me upside the head, also im bad at these bc I honestly just push my favourite characters onto ppl oops but long assss list below the cut - I love u all

@cafedanslanuit: ok I dont know why, but porco for u my friend. Maybe it’s bc the last fic I read from u was the porco and zeke one? but damn. porco. for sure. 

@kmorgzz: MY LIL CINNMON BUN. ok NOT GON LET MYSELF BE SWAYED by ur porco pfp - but i...kuroo. DO U EVEN LIKE HIM?? but I dunno why I CAN SEE IT. ready to fite u but also love cuddles soft friend and that WALL of a man? 

@flamingblinglove: U ALREADY KNOW 姐姐 U ALREADY KNOW. OFC U COULD PULL UR FAV flaming boi!!! I love u very much and love him for u! 

@alto-march-of-death: AL. AL AL AL AL AL AL AL AL. DO I NEED TO SAY IT. SUGA. FKIN. SUGA. I dont even need to - SUGA. also reiner. But mostly SUGA. 

@onwiings: LEN. we havent really chatted before so im sorry if this is real random but for some reason....connie? I DONT KNOW WHY BUT CONNIE FOR SURE. 

@boston-bakedbeans: I JUST GET JEAN VIBES. U COULD OUT SNARK HIM ANY DAY 

@daddyjackfrost: HANA MY SWEET QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY OVER STUPID VBALL BOYS. I have so many. BUT L? L FOR SURE. u are an intellectual and he would be all :0 while eating his damn cake. ALSO. Bo-bokuto? he could handle ur energy and I would love to see it. 

@bellbee: armin vibes. You're just so dang sweet? I think it would be such a good match 

@kojinnie: KOJIIIIIN. ZEKE. ZEEEEKKKE. IM SCREAMING THIS. BUT LIKE- NOT THE MEAN EVIL ZEKE. THE SOFT SWEET ONE WHO WILL BRUSH THE HAIR FROM YOUR FACE AND KISS YOUR FOREHEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ZEKE. 

@onyxoverride: I was going to say zeke?? t he naaaasty kind of zeke where hes just obsessed with u, but totally not influenced by ur latest posts but MICHE. BIG MANS. also for some reason I bet u smell good. but not in a sweet or delicate way?? I bet u smell really good but in a way ppl cant place? so ppl always ask “what perfume/cologne are you wearing?” 

@peachysimp: MY SWEET MICHI 姐!!!! U DESERVE ALL THE LOVE AND CUDDLES IN THE WORLD. im just thinking of a big mans...mmm Reiner? Eren??? no problem for my sweet 姐姐. u can handle em. 

@deludedimagines: SORCHAAAAAA MY LOVE. MY DEAR. Levi for FREAKING SURE. AFTER OUR TALK - YOU DESERVE TO GO KAYAKING AND CANOEING WITH HIM. PLEASE. 

@aotwrites: iane. love of my life lane. pls drink some water I know ur working v hard. ok but why can I imagine a soft af erwin that u could EASILY pull?? like NO problem. he would be best listener and the shoulder rubs? after a long day?? IANE. PLS. 

@plutowrites: PLUTO U KNOW HOW MUCH I FKIN LOVE UR ZEKE SERIES SO IS IT EVE N A QUESTION WHY I THINK YOU COULD GET ZEKE NO PROBLEM?? 

@gojosweets: SWEEETIIE levi for SURE BC HEALING HANDS IS STUCK IN MY HEAD. u could for sure pull a grumpy injured Levi and make his heart go boink 

@hexbestfriend: Sierra my dear. ur other url says it all. but also, a big mans. so....Erwin for sure - I would PAY to see this bc u would have him just so into u and I just...im swooning 

@horseanon--simpforall: RACH. DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY. U WRITE THE BEST CUTE SWEET ZEKE. FOR SURE. AND SUGA. U COULD PULL THEM WITHOUT EVEN FKIN TRYING. I love u TOO much 

@misskasa: love the new url btw tea??? damn. also Eren. EREN. LONG HAIRED MAN BUN BUT NICE NOT PROBLEMATIC EREN. u deserve it all 

@thebubblybakery: MY DEAR. MY DEAAAARRR ur url is way too cute and for SURE. Levi. for SURE NOT A DOUBT IN MY MIND. bake him lil treats and he’ll chop the fingers off anyone who tries to steal em from him 

@yearning-moon: omg my new obsession is ur writing, but u would have no problem pulling our collective fav zhongli. no problem whatsoever im just gone u write him so well I cry every single time.

@lookslikeleese: I MET U THRU SUGA AND I WILL NEVER STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT. suga no problem. ERen. no problem. find u a friend that can do both. thats u. 

@doulcha: another easily Levi pull - honestly if theres anything I learned on this website, its that everyone has big brain and is cute as a damn button and 

@anlian-aishang: MY SWEET DARLING. U COULD HAVE ANYONE. HONESTLY. UR A DAMN INTELLECTUAL, BEAUTIIIIIFUL BEYOND WORDS AND JUST HNG I LVE U SM. LEVI. ERWIN (NO ARGUMENTS I WOULD PAY TO SEE U WITH ERWIN BC WOOOOW HOW SWEET) also u already know how much I love the idea of u with Farlan U COULD HAVE ANYONE U WANT AND U KNOW IT. 

@starstruckkittensweets: another sweET DARLING WHO COULD GET ANYONE SHE WANTED. ABSOLUTELY ANYONE but Levi. Levi FOR DAMN SURE BC HOW COULD I NOT. erwin too? absolutely. 

@unloved-cadillac: CADDY my DEAR is another Levi puller for SURE - I feel like u can match his snarky replies? and it would just be a lot of grEAT banter back and forth and phew 

@katsuhera: MY PENGUIN LOVING FRIEND another Levi lover who could get him with NO problem whatsoever. pls take his grumpy ass to the aquarium 

@therealvalkyrie: my wife my love my DEAREST. I mean we’re already married x4? 5? times?? so I mean u already got me so I think u already won this game. USHI GUSHI FITE ME. also suga. curl up on a nicely upholstered armchair, nice cup of tea, maybe some ice cream? gorgeous view outside, trying to flip pages but its lowkey a pain to do so because suga is doing the same in his seat, but ur arms are stretched out to meet in the space between the two of you, and ur knuckles are brushing 

@rulerofstars: ANGELLLLL u are another eaaaasyyyy Levi pull bc HOW SWEET ARE U 

@acekou: ...honestly anyone u want bc I AM INTIMIDATED - AS I SHOULD BE. and I love that energy for u. ERen??? Levi?? ARMIN??? ERWIN?!?!?? no problem 

@thot-farm: ME. I SEE U IN MY NOTIFS AND I HAVENT SAID HI BEFORE. but ME. U COULD PULL ME NO PROBLEM BC M LOVE U ALREADY. but I mean im no Levi and u could pull him no problem too dearie (; 

@xxdragonwriterxx: omfg LEVI LEVI LEVI LEVI LEVI!!! UR FICS ARE SO DAMN AMAZING AND THE IDEAS ARE AMAZING AND THE PLOT AND EVERYTHING and ur also so sweet?? LEVI. FOR. LIFE. EASILY. NO CONTEST. 

@jean-does-not-have-a-horseface: BIRD. MANS. HAWKS. DO I NEED TO SAY MORE?!?!!?  

@levilaughlove69: kenny. fkn. ackerman. no more words. 

@bluebellhairpin: SEE ABOVE. also Erwin - I know u like that big mans my sweet darling nemo :3 but also BACK THE FK OFF ALL OF U UR DRIFTING WITH ME SO ME. U PULL ME. EVERYONE ELSE CAN BACK THE FK UP

@unadulteratedtreecrusade: BEANBEANBEANBEAN IM THIIIIIIIS close to coming to visit u bc I love u SO DAMN MUCH. but HONESTLY WHO CANT U PULL?? LEVI. DONE. ERWIN. DONE. 

@1252291: N UR URL SAYS IT ALL. LEVI. zeke? BOTH? ANNIE VIBES TOO??? JEAN? im done. 

@babieweeb: another moot I havent interacted too much with 🥺 but ZEEEEEKKKKE 

@itspastellemons: LEYLA LISTEN. me. u got me. u can pull me anytime shh dont tell my bf I LOVE U SM I LOVE U SO DAMN MUCH R U KIDDING!?! but other than me ahem LEVI. LEEEVIIIIII FOR U BC UR SO DAMN SWEET AND HE WOULD MELT AT U. erwin? wrapped around ur finger?? REINER?? MICHE?? I cant even choose for u ur too powerful 

@alrightberries: I think ur on a Nanami binge rn AS U SHOULD BE. so just know that u could have that mans in an instant

@mysteriousmagicx: MY FAV WITCH MOOT WHO HAS THE BEST DAMN FKIN AUS AND THE BIGGEST DANG BRAIN. WHO CAN’T U PULL??? WITCH HANJI. VAMPIRE LEVI. WEREWOLF MICHE. STOP IT U CAN HAVE EM ALL.

@etherealserenity: ERRRREEEEENN I DONT NEED TO SAY ANY MORE. AND U KNOW WHY. 

@cant-spell-slay-without-lay HOW THE FK DID I NOT ADD U EARLIER MY DEAR PLS IM SO SORRY OMFG - but UR LEGIT MS. ACKERMAN HOW COULD U NOT PULL LEVI. case closed. ms ackerman is legit. 

[cheekysos]

Between Hate And Lust Part Three

Ashton Irwin x Plus Size Reader

Author’s Note: I think this will be the last part but if you guys feel differently and have any ideas please feel free to share.I think I might have gotten a little carried away but I still kind of like it. Let me know what you think. As I always say  I’m not writing this series to exclude any body type, shape, or size because everyone’s bodies should be accepted and celebrated. So I am very sorry if this in any way excludes anyone, that is not my intention. If there’s anything you’d like to read please leave a request in my asks and I will try my best to do it justice. If you have any feedback or ideas for part three please let me know. Also I know the picture doesn’t really go but I love it and I couldn’t find anything else   

Summary: Y/N is forced to interact with her ex and Ashton comes to her rescue.

Warnings: Brief mentions of alcohol and cigarettes, violence, swearing, and smut 

Y/N’s POV

That voice instantly made you sick to your stomach. You knew he was invited  but you were hoping for your sake and everyone else’s that he wouldn’t show. You were pretty sure he was drunk already, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were glossed over. He pushed off the wall and stumbled closer to you, the overpowering smell of alcohol confirming your suspicions.

“ ‘cha get all dressed up just for me?” he slurred. 

“It’s a wedding,” you retorted, stepping back from him. 

“You still mad at me? I told ya it was a mistake.” he flicked the butt of his cigarette aside. 

“I really don’t want to get into this with you,” you let out. “Can we just go back to forgetting each other’s existence and call it a night?”

He scuffed dramatically. “You couldn’t forget this even if you wanted to,” he crudely grabbed at his crotch. “Look like you haven’t had a proper fuck in a while...” 

“You’re right...been about two years.” You figured he was too drunk to catch on to your implication about your guys’ sex life but he caught on. 

“Look, I fucked you the best I could considering all the extras I had to work around.” he motioned towards your figure. 

As much as you wanted to fight back you knew now wasn’t the best time; outside your best friend’s wedding, all by yourself with your ex drunk off his ass so you started to walk away from him. His empty hand immediately reaching out for your wrist and holding on tight. 

You looked up at him with pleading eyes, “Please let go. Now is not the time.” 

Ashton’s POV

Your cover song was hit, countless people stopping you as you walked off stage. You tried to be as polite as possible, but the truth was you really didn’t care what they were saying. You saw her reaction as you played the song, you watched her hurry outside and all you wanted to do was make sure she was okay. 

You walked out the door and found her almost instantly. Your blood started to boil, a guy stood there in front of her with his hand wrapped tightly around her wrist. It most likely wasn’t your place to get involved but you didn’t care, you needed to make sure she was safe.

“Y/N,” you called out. “Everything ok?”

Y/N used the distraction to pull away from the man. Your heart aches when she looked at you with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.

“Um ya,” her voice was shaky and she rubbed at her wrist. “I was just...”

The guy stood in front of her stepping closer to you.

“Fuck off. It’s none of your business,” he slurred.

You were heated. “You made it my business when you put your hands on her mate. So why don’t you fuck off, let’s go Y/N.” You stepped to the side and reached out for her. She looked at your with a meek smile, just about to grab your hand when hands collided with your chest. You stumbled back a few steps. It took everything in you to not retaliate. You wanted nothing more than to lay him out on the ground right now, which you were fairly certain you could do with just one punch. This time Y/N stepped towards you and placed her hand on your balled up fist.

“It’s not worth it. Please let’s go.” You unclenched your fist and tangled your fingers in hers. Her hand was soft and inviting and you were positive you’d hold it forever if she let you.

Y/N’s POV

You never thought you’d be so happy to see Ashton. You were grateful that he followed you outside. You were desperate to remove yourself and Ashton from that situation before things got any worse. For a split second you forgot about everything while you looked down at your hand intertwined with his, for a split second things were nice.

“She wasn’t the first ya know!” Your ex yelled back at you as you walked away with Ashton. His words stung more than you care to admit but you tried to ignore him and he wasn’t happy about it.

“There were six! And you better get used to gettin’ cheated on when you look like that, fuckin’ cow!” he yelled.

Before you could even process what was happening Ashton’s hand was pulled from your grip and swinging at your ex. His fist connected with his jaw and he was down.

 “Don’t ever talk to her again,” Ashton snapped.

He was either too drunk to care or too scared to hit him back because he just sat on the ground spitting out blood.

You looked at Ashton, “what the hell?!” you questioned.

From the look on his face he wasn’t happy with your reaction. “Seriously? Nothings ever good enough for you!” He raised his voice. “First you’re mad at me for not standing up for you and now I stand up for you and you’re mad at me? Fuck this.” He huffed past you, walking in the direction of the parking lot. 

Ashton’s POV

You really tried to keep your cool, but the second he opened his mouth again you lost it. You weren’t expecting Y/N to just fall into your arms and instantly forgive you but you definitely didn’t expect her to be upset with you. You were just trying to do what you thought was right and at that moment when you heard him say those words, punching him in the face seemed right. Granted it probably wasn’t the best choice but it’s what he deserved.

You hated raising your voice at Y/N, but you were upset. This back and forth with her was getting to be too much. You started to storm off to your car. 

“Ashton will you just stop!” she huffed. You stopped dead in your tracks, Y/N practically running into you. 

“Why? So you can yell at me some more.” You stepped towards her, the space between you two was practically none existent. You could tell Y/N was caught off guard, she bit her bottom lip nervously and it drove you crazy. 

“I don’t get you Y/N,” you chuckled. “One second you seem like you’re ready to forgive me and then the next second you’re ready to rip my throat out.” 

“Because that’s how I feel! You drive me crazy! I know I should hate you, I really want to...but you’re.. fuck! I dont know.” This time she was raising her voice at you. You could tell she was having the same struggle you were so you decided to throw caution to the wind and go for it. 

“You do know. You’re just scared. Tell me what you want.” You looked her up and down and licked your lips. 

Y/N’s POV

God he was infuriating. “You think I’m scared of you?” you laughed. 

“No I think you’re scared of what you want.” You were a little taken back by his sudden confidence but you decided to play along. 

“Oh really? And what is it that I want?” You held your breath while you waiting for his response. 

“I think you want me...want me to push you up against this strangers car and show you how a real man should treat ya.” His words hit you like a ton of bricks. He was right, you were feeling so many different emotions right then but all you could think about was Ashton. If he was going to play this game then so were you.

“Then what are you waiting for?” you teased. 

Ashton was on you instantly, his toned body pressed against yours and massive hands cupping your face. His kiss was better than you could have ever imagined. His lips were soft and sweet, eager but not rushed. Your lips parted, half because you were in shock that this was actually happening and half because you craved to taste him. His tongue slipped into your mouth and danced along yours. He pushed the two of you back against a car, his leg pushed your knees apart to make room for his leg to rest between yours. His thigh providing you with much needed friction. 

“Bet you’re so wet for me.”  he whispered in your ear. The moan he elicited from you was almost embarrassing.  Your desire took over, you couldn’t waste anymore time being shy and self conscious. It was obvious Ashton wanted this as much as you did so for once you let go. 

Ashton’s POV

You were certain she’d be the death of you by the end of the night. The sounds she made went straight to your cock. You were already so hard and you had barely even touched her, who knows how you were going to last once you did. You couldn’t get enough of the of her body. The way it felt pressed up against you, the way she responded to your touch. You kissed every inch of her exposed skin- her cheeks, down the length of her neck,  and all over her clavicle.

“You teasin’ me on purpose?” she moaned. 

“Maybe a little,” you laughed. 

“Please do something, drivin’ me crazy.” she rocked against your knee, begging for more. 

“Since you asked so nicely...” You kept eye contact with her as your fingers trailed down her body, outlining her every curve. You kissed her softly as you got to the hem of her dress. In a swift motion you pushed up her dress and into her soaked panties. 

“Fuuuck...” she gasped so loud you instinctively covered her mouth with your free hand. You started to rub circles around her clit. 

“Gotta keep quiet doll. We are in a parking lot ‘member?” Y/N nodded eagerly. 

You decided you both had had enough teasing for now so you slipped your index finger inside of her. She was so tight and warm, just thinking about being inside her made your dick twitch in your trousers. 

“So tight and wet for me. Ya feel fuckin’ amazing.” You spoke against her lips. 

You started off with a steady pace, pumping in and out of her while your thumb traced over her clit. She tangled her fingers in your hair, pulling on your locks as her climax built up inside her and her other hand started to palm your prominent erection. You were needy for her touch, but you were determined to make this about her right now, to make her feel good. 

“Need more please... Ash,” she begged. 

“You’re such a good girl for me..so needy.” You added an extra finger inside her and increased the pressure on her clit. It must have felt good because you could feel her legs start to shake. She grabbed on to the wrist of your hand that was down her panties, encouraging you to not let up. 

“C’mon doll. Want to see you cum for me. Let me feel ya.” She nodded at your words.

Watching her cum on around you fingers was unlike anything you had experienced. You had made your share of women cum before but none of them looked like Y/N. Her face was so expressive, her body writhed with pleasure and her sounds alone were enough to make you cum.

“Fucking shit Ash,” she panted when you removed your fingers and brought them up to your mouth. 

You licked her orgasm off your fingers, releasing them with a ‘pop’. “Knew it. Taste amazing.”

She caught her breath, “Let’s see how you taste...” She stepped towards you and started to drop to her knees. 

You reached for her, “Not here doll. Can I take you home? I want to take my time with you and treat ya right.” 

“Fine but I still kinda hate you,” she teased.

[ja-khajay]

2020-2021 Animation Watch(ed)list

I haven’t posted about animation in a while that I remember, and I know a lot of my followers are into it as much as me so I decided to make a list of the animated movies and series I watched on the past year or so, coupled with my short, spoilerless take on them. Enjoy!

Organized by

Things I saw for the first time

Things I rewatched

Under a cut for the sake of your dashboards! PS: I have not added any images yet. If you are interested in knowing more about the visuals of these movies, I might make an old fashion ask-prompted imageset list.

Part One: Things I saw for the first time

The Bear’s Famous Invasion of Sicily

Movie, 2019, Italian/French

9/10, a delightful little movie with amazing visuals. It feels like an animated picture book.

One of those “plot is in the title” media! I had never heard of this before but was heavily recommended it by my family members, who all loved it! It’s a sweet story, nothing groundbreaking but the unique colorful visual style alone makes it worth it.

The Castle of Cagliostro

Movie, 1979, Japanese

10/10. Reminded me of all the books i loved reading as a child

I assume its because it’s so old and the art style and themes are so different that it gets little to no love compared to other Ghibli movies, which is a shame! It’s fun with an endearing cast and as always, great animation and music

Mushishi

Series, 2006, Japanese

10/10 three episodes in I knew it was going to be my favorite series ever

One of the few things I’ve seen I’ll describe as life-changing. It’s absolutely lovely but never toots its own horn about it. Humble, calming, emotional and surprisingly mature. It’s pretty impossible to binge due to how intense the experience is. I just want to walk in the forest now...

FMA: Brotherhood

Series, 2009, Japanese

6/10 Dissapointing adaptation of a classic story

I read the manga for this when I was in middle school and remembered loving it. The animated version does an ok job of presenting the characters and worldbuilding and has some nice action scenes but overall looks really damn cheap and just. Not very good. Seeing I already knew most of the plot I did not have the element of discovery that made me marvel so much reading the original. It’s still a nice series but I really recommend reading it instead.

Code Lyoko (s1+2)

Series, 2003, french

3/10. 1.5 being for the opening song alone

This show sucks ass if I hadn’t been watching this with my bestie I would have dropped it two episodes in. The art style is ugly the stories are always the same and the first season has a (later removed thank fucking god) LITERAL “erase any consequences” button as a plot device in every episode. If you watch it for one thing let it be the nostalgia factor of early 00s Vidya Game Plot

The Legend of Hei

Movie, 2019, Chinese

7/10. Impressive visuals and a poor story

I finally watched this, peer pressured by the load of gifsets on my dashboard! It’s a sweet movie with really impressive animation, sometimes a bit too flashy for my taste (the action sequences go so ham they become not very readable...) but the story was just ok? The setting is barely explained and you are instead bombarded with vague epicspeech about powers and stuff that made me fondly remember Kingdom Hearts lol but that asides it’s a really good time! I need to watch more Chinese movies the few I know are just delightfully off the shits in how they approach action and I love that

Hunter x Hunter

Series, 1999, Japanese

9/10. Superior to the recent one!

I first got introduced to the series via the 2011 one. Comparatively, the 99 series focuses way less on action and way more on the characters, which I love because that fits my personal preferences! Despite mediocre filler episodes and some weird slight pointless plot changes, what it changes from the original manga doesn’t have much of an impact on the characters. The animation quality isn’t always consistent including a huge art style change for an arc (???) but it’s overall pretty nice. The series really shines in the last arc it adapts.

Oban Star-racers

Series, 2006, Japanese/french

9/10 a lovely surprise

This series is completly obscure despite having been created by people famous for their other series (Cowboy Bebop, Code Lyoko that i can name) and it’s a crime! It’s a kids show but without being stupid about it who tells the story of an inter-planetary race. If you liked that one scene in the star wars prequels you know what I mean. It’s got surprisingly nice animation for a TV series, and some truly great character design. The art style is a bit unique in a not for everyone sense, but I didn’t mind it much. It’s also THE most offensively 2000s series i’ve seen in terms of visuals. y2k kids assemble

The Little Prince and the Eight-Headed Dragon

Movie, 1963, japanese

8/10. Classic fairytale format with incredible visuals

Watched this for the art style because I know it inspired Samurai Jack, and it delievered! I dont’ have much to say about this one, it’s a very simply film but it’s sweet. For my pirates out there if you want to find it in good quality with english subtitles it’s VERY hard to find. If you just want to see the looks of it, it’s on Youtube with portugese subs.

We now enter the Gobelins Shorts Zone....!

My Friend Who Glows In The Dark

10/10 makes me cry each time

Pure delight...great animation writing everything. A little short about death and friendship but not in the way you imagine!

Colza

9/10

Visual treat...homely and nice :) not far from a 10 but a 9 because nothing about it is that groundbreaking

Sundown

9/10

If you’ve ever been ten minutes from failing a group project because of a single dude you will REALLY enjoy this. Loved the colors and personality

T’as vendu mes rollers?

10/10

It’s SUCH a sweet little short I loved that one so much

Dix-huit kilomètres trois

10/10

Surprisingly well written dialog. Visuals are great but the humanity of the characters carries this to another level

Un diable dans la poche

9/10

Amazing visuals and the most tense/creepy of Gobelin shorts i’ve ever seen. Chilling

La bestia

8/10

I had some issues with the pacing. Interesting story and visuals choices but I was not fond of the art style

Goodbye Robin

5/10

Confusing but predictable. Both at once??? Yes!

Le retour des vagues

6/10

Cool animation stuff but felt pretty pointless

                                                                ***

Part Two: Things I rewatched

Ruben Brandt: Collector

Movie, 2018, Hungarian

10/10. Underrated as hell

Watched this fully blind for the first time in an animated festival and rewatched it with friends. It’s a crime I never see anyone talking about it given the amount of whining I see about the lack of both adult animation and 2D movies? This film is a unique love letter to art in the form of a weird mix of charming crime story and psychological horror with amazing visuals. I recommend watching it blind and also buying it to show appreciation for how nice it is!!! WATCH THIS MOVIE...

Mononoke

Series, 2007, Japanese

10/10 Visual/storytelling masterpiece in the weird shit departement

If you can stomach intense stuff watch this. The visuals are incredibly unique and beautiful and under the jewel tones and art direction high takes it’s a really cool horror series. My only obstacle to enjoying it the first time I saw it was how dense it is - simply put, it’s so...culturally Japanese it’s not very accessible to me who doesn’t know anything about the culture? Watching it for the second time helped understanding the stories more! 

Corto Maltese in Siberia

Movie, 2002, french

9/10 but really close to ten. A great adaptation!

I’m a huge fan of the original comic so I entered this a biiiittttt suspicious it would suck but it was a really pleasant surprise! It has all the wonder and charm of the original and the animation was surprisingly good for the little budget. If you’re not familiar with the series, it’s a sort of geopolitical action/adventure movie but with it’s own really poetic vibe to it. It’s almost impossible to find online but happens to be fully on YouTube so go ham I guess?

Redline

Movie, 2009, Japanese

10/10 cinema was invented for this, actually

Every review of this movie i’ve seen gives it five stars and starts by talking about how immensly stupid it is. I’m no different. It’s a masterpiece of escalating energy with the depth of a puddle and it fucking rules. It’s free on YouTube too so there really is no excuse to not watch it. Watched it for the first time on a huge cinema screen and despite this my second rewatch on my small laptop was as/even more enjoyable. If you watch this stoned with friends you might travel to another dimension

Spirited Away

Movie, 2001, Japan

10/10 deserves the love it gets

I watched this a single time as a kid and had little memory of it! I mean it’s Ghibli you know it’s going to be good as hell but this one rly shines in how colorful and detailed it is and in it’s world! It made me remember I had a huge crush on the dragonboy as a kid. I’m gay now

Kung-fu Panda (1&2)

Movie, Usa

10/10. KFP fucking rules

Honestly my favorite franchise of the whole disney/dreamworks/pixar hydra. It’s fun as hell, doesn’t skip a single beat and has amazing animation and character designs. If something is a good time I will not care if it’s deep or not and boy I fucking love these movies

Sinbad, Legend of the Seven Seas

Movie, 2003, Usa

5/10 Some great some really bad and overall generic

I tend to hate american cinema and this includes that era of animation I have no nostalgia for. Sinbad is in a weird place because I love adventure stories and the visuals of the movie absolutely deliver but it’s very predictable and TANKED by the addition of the female character, pushed in your face as “look we have woman!!!” despite her writing being misogynistic as hell lol. The evil goddess rules tho. This movie would have been a solid 9 if instead of the girl the two dudes had kissed

[angelicspaceprince]

could I ask for poly relationship headcanons with the ineffable wives?

Slightly nsfw under tag?

Before I begin, I would just like to clear something up

Aziraphale is a tits lesbian.

Crowley is an ass and thighs lesbian.

Don’t bother changing my mind, it is fact

Crowley is definitely your over confident, loud and proud lesbian who gets Gay Panic almost instantly without any hesitation

Also attends so many pride marches and any kind of rights marches because fuck it she deserves equal rights even though she’s the one that came up with the inequality system in the first place

Meanwhile, Aziraphale is your quiet lesbian that you are sure is gay but at the same time aren’t 100% convinced.

When you meet, you weren’t looking for anything and were just happy to hang out with two very different but very awesome women who happened to be married

You ended up being their third when, in the middle of a heatwave, two very drunk women rocked up at your doorstep at 3 in the morning

You were in your shorts and singlet top, just wanting the sweet release of death because this heat was insane when they fall down in a heap at your feet

“Why are you here at 3am? I was asleep.”

“No you weren’t its too hottttt.” Crowley sounds smug when she says this as you just walk off with a wave of your hand.

“I dont care, do what you want but I’m going back to bed.”

You felt their presence join you on the bed as you groan and try to fall back asleep but nothing else

When you wake up, Crowley is asleep on your stomach cupping one tit, Aziraphale asleep just above her cupping the other.

Comfort titties apparently

Crowley wakes up and looks up at you with a smirk.

“Comfy?”

“Always.”

You get a cheeky wink with that response before she gets up slowly, almost snake like, stretching out and letting her back crack before turning to you

“Need anything?”

“Food.”

“On it.”

She walks off hips first as usual as you just roll your eyes and settle back down into the bed

The sunlight almost makes Aziraphale glow on your tummy as you start to play with her long, golden hair

She mumbles something before moving to faceplant herself between your boobs because

Much comfort

She had been mumbling all that time but finally her words were beginning to make sense now that she was closer

Mumbling how much she loves both you and Crowley

And how she knows you love them

And how she wants to date both of you but doesn’t know how to bring it up

There are so many words you are certain that she’s awake, but she isn’t

Just a chatty sleeper

When she wakes up and looks up at you, she goes beet-red because a) she’s holding both your boobs and b) she’s right in-between them

You just look down at her, raise an eyebrow

“So you love me, want to bang me, but most importantly, want to date me?”

Aziraphale lets out a small squeak before hiding herself back in your cleavage much to your amusement and refused to come out as you continue to stroke her hair until she melts

Crowley came back and when you told her what happened, she sits by your side and coaxes the angel to remove herself from your boobs

Conversations took place and bam!

You became their third

It took some adjusting

Crowley is pervy at the best of times

Aziraphale is constantly telling her to behave, especially in public

“Crowley! Stop touching Y/N’s rear, we are in public!”

“Crowley! Sit proper, you’re in a skirt!”

“Crowley! Y/N is fine, she doesn’t need you to supervise her in the shower!”

“Crowley! Y/N is getting dressed, leave her alone!”

“Crowley! Stop grabbing Y/N inappropriately, anyone could walk in and see!”

It takes a while for you to reassure Aziraphale that it was fine and that if there was any problem, you’d tell Crowley off

Aziraphale always treating you like you were God herself

Making sure you were well fed and cared for, giving you space where necessary

She loves spending time with you just holding hands as you read together as Crowley tears up the town

Really really fond of face sitting

Like you sitting on her face and her sitting on yours

Favourite position

Took a while to convince her to try it though, and now you constantly joke that she is the best seat in the house.

I have a feeling that Aziraphale would be more ‘traditionally’ female

Like loving crafting stuff and homemaking etc.

Crowley rejects all of that because she hasn’t the patience

Aziraphale also never completes her projects - you found a half completed tapestry once and when you asked when she started it she refused to answer until Crowley piped up “1307! She did it for 6 months and kept it because she was going to finish it!’

You just laughed and said that you were sure she’d get to it one day

If you ever fall asleep on your stomach, Crowley makes a home on your ass

Either resting her head in human form or coiled up in her snake form, she always finds comfort there

Almost like a cat, really

Crowley also likes to make you cum until you literally can’t handle anymore

Then she just grins wickedly and makes you cum some more

Like a bitch

When you sleep with Crowley on your back, she always makes her way to your stomach for some reason

You do some human things that confuse the fuck out of these two

If you are in distress or can’t find something, you hold your tits

Which baffles both of them

What do you want?

Is it a come on? Are you concerned that they are gonna fall off? Are they hurting?

Eventually they try it and it does nothing for them

Well maybe not nothing but not what you were going through when you did it

So, eventually they ask what’s up and you explain that it was a comfort thing as you looked for something or if you needed some self-soothing

Crowley just lights up

The next time you lost your keys, Crowley slaunters up behind you

“You need both hands to search love, would you like me to hold them for you?”

“It’s the weight in my hands that are comforting, Crowley. Also. No. Where are my keys?”

Because you knew she totally did not hide them so she’d have a reason for a shitty pick-up line

Aziraphale calls out from the other room “Crowley, behave!”

Loving soft dates

Forehead kisses and kisses on the back of your hands and on the top of your palms

Sleeping in

Picnic dates where you all wear skirts that flare out in the wind

Crowley dealing with DudeBros and full on freaking the living shit out of them as you and Aziraphale look on, slightly approving;y and slightly disprovingly

Just softness and niceness as well as kinkines and some roughness

Perfect all round relationship if I’m honest

[freewheelshippin]

30 utapri questions!

Thanks @dekiaibadchoices​ for the tag, this was an awesome way to wind down after a ton of nonstop busy busy busy!!! (and thanks for tagging this blog vs the general utapri one so i can REALLY gush LOL) Here’s the OG meme! 

1. Your best boy?

BANANAMAN RAN WHO ELSE  

2. Your least favorite boy?

“least favorite” implies dislike which...not true! truthfully it’s much of HEAVENS by nature of ‘I haven’t spent as much time getting to know these characters so I don’t really know who they are.’ (though I already know I love to go for drinks and snacks with Van hehe) i do like all of HEAVENS quite a bit from what i’ve seen so far but that affection has not had time to ripen! 

3. A character that you never thought you would love as much as you do now?

mnmnj ranran tbh 

4. A character you can relate to in any way?

I can’t answer everything with Ranmaru but like. His ambition, straightforwardness, and how the soul and spirit of music motivate him to move forward beyond a tough past are things I same hat so much ;; But HONESTLY I also relate a lot to Masa and Tokiya, especially in their moments of self-doubt and dramatic commitment to to their art? 

5. A character that you think deserves more love?

Oh, Cecil, without a doubt. He’s such a resilient, committed, and open-hearted cutie and gets really shafted by canon tbh. Which makes it harder for everyone to see what a great boy this sweetie is! But I appreciate how Shining Live has given him some room to have really cute and standout moments so everyone can love him more but okay like, give me more Ceci and Ran palling around I love him most when they’re up to shenanigans 

6. A character you would want as your partner?

well we’re posting this fuckin here so you all fuckin know (im very embarrass rn i can barely say it lmao) 

(for the record i would also very much like to be friends with reiji and syo, they are cool people i think i’d get along with! and i know myself, if i knew otoya or masato IRL i’d just be like ‘well. that’s my son now’ and basically appoint myself their tough big sis-type-friend lookin out for them lol) 

7. A character you would want as your mentor/senpai?

I would swallow a pinecone before I called him ‘onii-san’ but teach me how to network kotobuki-senpai 

(No, like, forreal, I suck so, so bad at a ton of stuff Reiji is aces at, and I respect the hell out of his *waves* general everything and skilll navigating the industry. Since I’m a goofy, jokey, overenthusiastic teacher for work a lot it’d be nice to be on the receiving end of all that energy! and be a fucking decent kouhai that isn’t so horribly unappreciative of all his hard work and good cheer ) 

8. Your favorite ship?

shut your whore mouth i dont have the marbles to write it out 

(tbh it’s also Haru/Tomo, I just feel so much more romantic chemistry between those two than Haru and any of the boys u___u  Friends’ selfship stuff goes without saying, haha, and ngl I’m kind of About a Ren/Van rivalry hatemance? can i call it a kismesis thing? it’s a kismesis thing.) 

(actually no I think I’m just a member of the “Ren Fucks and sometimes it’s Hatesex” club) 

9. A character that you want to cosplay/have already cosplayed?

I had plans to cosplay Ranmaru a couple months ago bc it’s really not much of a stretch for my wardrobe, haha, but I dunno about that anymore! Part of it was wanting the Euphoria of looking like a tough, twunky, princely anime character but tbqh I’m already that every day of my life so 

I suppose if you were to pull my leg I’d go for cosplaying Van, mostly because I wanna try that mullet on for myself. 

10. Favorite side character?

TOMO!! LOVE U BITCH WHEN WILL I HEAR U SINGGGGGG 

11. Your favorite solo song?

god this is horrible how can I decide??? so many good ones??? I think it’s a draw between Top Star Revolution, No. 1, Brand New Melody, Wild Soul, Seien Brave Heart, and Junketsu Nara Ai ~Aspiration~ ??? 

12. Your favorite duet song?

HMMMMM again too many good ones. Three-way tie between Haru Hana, NorthWind and SunShine, and Original Resonance! 

13. Your favorite trio song?

Ahhh Dream More than Love is really nostalgic bc it’s the first Utapri song I really loved, but i gotta be real. It’s just Egoistic. There’s just no getting better than Egoistic 

14. Your favorite group song?

mmmm i’m be basic. Poison Kiss 

15. Your least favorite song?

I love Ai and Shouta Aoi’s incredible voice but......I’m really not a fan of super slow, overly-saccharine songs. u__u so A.I. really, really doesn’t land with me, much less so than easygoing (like Knocking on the Mind) or somber (like Winter Blossom) songs. 

16. Your favorite singer?

ranran...it’s always ranran...

(I do also adore Natsuki’s and Camus’s voices! I tend to like deeper, richer vocal qualities, but you just can’t beat Ranmaru’s subtle growls and high-energy rock!!!! <3) 

17. Your favorite group/trio/duo?

god what combo of these idiots DONT i love? I could watch Reiji prank and tease Ranmaru all fuckin day, and I also really like it when Ran’s at his most ‘tuff big bro-y’ with, like, Ai, Otoya, and Cecil!!! but honestly I do like how the Ran/Masa/Ren trio isn’t so straightforward and is more or less held together by a thin string of professionalism, there’s something i appreciate about not forcing ppl to just bury the hatchet and be Perfect Friends but you all can still care about each other? (Ranmaru needs to be nicer to them still but...) 

i need to suggest one that isn’t ranmaru centric fjdsioafjsa i fuckin love Soccer Buds (otosyo) and I loooooove it when Otoya and Cecil are good to each other!!! 

18. Your favorite member of Starish?

they’re all my favorite but if you REALLY had to make me pick.....Masato, probably, haha. I just...if you take yourself too seriously and care so much about everything but still know how to be Nasty how can I not love you??? 

19. Your favorite member of Quartet Night?

what do you fuckin think, hoss 

20. Your favorite member of Heavens?

I mentioned earlier I don’t really know Heavens well, so ofc this is all liable to change! But off the bat I love what a conniving yet wholesome bastard Eiichi is and Van is just the kinda guy I would rib and pal around with IRL!! 

21. Your favorite seiyuu/voice actor?

Ahhh that’s tough! I love all these goofbags, and Tattsun really is just so cool and makes music I’m pretty about. But I think I gotta give it to Suwabe, his performances are always so him but still pretty varied, and how can you not adore a man who loves his chihuahuas that much??? 

(if i’m being 100% honest Tattsun lost points bc he voices my absolute least favorite character in granblue ffjsfjisda) 

22. Favorite Drama CD?

HMMMMMMM see as a certified Giant Tool for Everything Mecha and silly and extra, I enjoyed the hell out of Polaris, but it really suffers from a lack of Ranmaru in my humble fuckin opinion lmao. So even though I’m not one for pirate stuff most of the time, I gotta give it to Pirates of the Frontier!! I really loved Ranmaru and Otoya’s dynamic in that one, and Camus was juuuuust the right amount of shitheel, too. 

I haven’t heard the whole thing but that thing from Egoistic where Natsuki squeezes Ranmaru to death and Eiichi’s just like ‘WUAHAHAHAHAH’ is also the mcfuckin best. 

23. Your favorite shining live card?

CAN’T PICK 

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY PICK?????????? LIKE??? I love the fucking dumb, dumb, dumb ostentatiousness of Evil Villains, I LOVE a good heel, and I also worked so so hard to t1 that event and had a lot of fun doing it!! But also, I just love his big smile and all the energy and mixed prints from Fortune and Prosperity, and it was literally the first time I ever got the exact card I was rolling for in a gacha on the last pull I had left!! (He also came home during a time I was really going through some shit, and ngl it rescued me a little bit!) but AHHHH Soulful Bass also came out right around my birthday, I love all the textures in the outfit and it’s generally the most My Aesthetique thing Utapri has ever released!!! And god, I just love it when he’s so confident and in his element like this, it sets me on FIRE to see him light up the stage wurghjgfj ;___; They all make me just want to HUG SO MUCH ARGGHHHHH 

24. Your favorite song beatmap?

Ahhh I think Shining Live really has great beatmaps across the board so that’s a tough pick! Almost all of them are super fun in their own way, but I think I gotta hand it to Wild Soul, Top Star Revolution, and Innocent Wind! 

25. Your least favorite song beatmap?

A.I. u__u Sorry, Ai...it’s just not fun for me.

26. Black Deja Vu or White Gravity?

Actually I’m really glad for this question bc I’ve been so busy lately I hadn’t given myself the time to really check them out! checking ......... 

and yep. Black Deja Vu. (I mean...Ranmaru is on it, haha.) But I’m so about this. Love this heavier sound and all these harmonies, this is so juicy. (White Gravity also absolutely kicks ass though!! I’m really liking that voice group, it’s making especially good use of those higher registers!) 

27. Utapri merch that you own/want?

Honestly I don’t have much u__u Not a lot of Utapri merch is my thing...you know? I’m mostly shopping for Ran merch if I’m getting any, but I’m very picky about how he gets drawn? Keeping his toughness and a particular clothing style about him is so essential, haha, and barely anything hits that sweet spot for me. But I will say I adored the whole ‘My Favorite Things’ series, and if I had the budget and space atm I’d love to get some of the Ran goodies from that line! 

28. How did you get into Utapri?

I first heard about it through some acquaintances from cosplay before Quartet Night was a thing. It didn’t appeal enough to my heavy metal ass to make me drop everything and try it, but I did have an interest in it I couldn’t explain and I’d always intended on trying it out. (especially after I got into Love Live and idol anime for a bit.) But it was Shining Live that got me! And I really only downloaded Shining Live because I was super exhausted after a business trip, didn’t want to leave bed once I got back home, and just wanted to sink my teeth in something new I could enjoy for hours while lying down, haha.  

29. A set theme in shining live that you want to see in the future?

This will surprise nobody, but something tougher. More rock, more punk, more metal. I want all of them in studs and spikes and leather, and I want less polish. More rough! 

I’d also love a wrestler set complete with who’s-a-heel-who’s-a-face but that’s a pipe dream and a half, lmao. 

30. Why do you love your best boy?

Oh boy. 

I think he’s this powerhouse of a human bean who can face a ton of pain and meet it with a big middle finger. And that middle finger is chasing after ambitious dreams, of spreading the power and soul of the same music that made me who I am and influences so much of my work, but also being ... you know, smart about it? He’s an idol because like, sure, maybe it’s not the OG dream, but you can’t dream if you’re dead, and you also deserve to give yourself a life and platform to share some of who you are, and you can do a lot of good with that, too. (And I won’t lie, I respect the drama of a man who takes his hair that seriously and commits so hard to the aesthetic he wears fuckin mismatched contacts i just. charm point ) 

But at the same time....I don’t know, this might sound presumptuous, but. I think. I just think he’d think I’m as neat as I think he is. I’m an ambitious, passionate person, too, and I also furiously stick to my ideals, and I also love the same kind of soul of music he does. I lean a little more metal than I do rock, but I think that’s nice, like sharing it has that ‘alike but different’ kind of familiarity and novelty all at once. Sometimes it’s tough sharing just how deeply rock and metal have sculpted me and my artwork (and therefore my career), bc it’s so deeply personal to me, and sometimes there’s weird elitism/misogyny/racism to deal with, too. But. The way he talks about rock, the way he describes the passion and how it transcends identity and is just a pure rush of power and sharing your feelings..................it just feels like he Gets it the same way I do. Just that unspoken, burning passion and understanding. I know it sounds weird to feel that strongly over just a music genre, but I just vibe with how to him, it really isn’t ‘just’ a music genre. I feel more accepting of myself for it, and I’d like to think he’d be real proud of himself for that.  

And listen, like....I’m very sentimental, but I really don’t like saccharine, flowery, romantic kinds of affection to be lavished on me. Just be straightforward but also a little tsun about it fjdsjfas and ..... those are the kind of feelings I can accept. And that’s the way Ranmaru is, and it’s also grounded in the kind of reality that I don’t like to be swept away from. He’s just so cool and hardworking and unwavering in his passion, it makes it easier for me to do the same despite all the bumps in the road. This got real long but Ran’s a cool dude, haha, I got a lot of positives to say. 

Anyways, I never tag folks for these things, but I love seeing everyone’s answers! If you see this and wanna fill it, feel free to count this as a tag from me :) I know this got real long, but with 30 questions how could it not haha? Thanks for reading and sticking around! 

[ncvaleereign-ar]

hi you beautiful people so ive been lacking muse for this beautiful human that is nova reign that i basically revamped her, gave her a new secret and changed her whole background. i basically wanted to start fresh with her and just try to do something new but also add in a sort of old muse ive had and combine her with my pop princess. so below is a new and improved nova. if you’d like to plot heart this and i’ll come message you <3

new york’s very own nova reign was spotted on broadway street in stuart weitzman heeled boots. your resemblance to perrie edwards is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty fifth birthday bash . while living in nyc ,  you’ve been labeled as being hot headed , but also tender hearted. i guess being a cancer explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be pastels, diamonds, sunflowers  .  &  ( cisfemale & she/her  )  +  ( anna , 25 , she/her , est . )

trigger warnings include: drugs & death

༄ ʙᴀsɪᴄs

ɴᴀᴍᴇ → Nova Lee Reign

ᴀɢᴇ → 25

ʜᴏᴍᴇᴛᴏᴡɴ → New York City

ᴏᴄᴄᴜᴘᴀᴛɪᴏɴ →  Musician

sᴇxᴜᴀ��ɪᴛʏᴏʀɪᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ → bisexual

ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜIᴘ sᴛᴀᴛᴜs → single

 ༄ ᴘʜʏsɪǫᴜᴇ

ғᴀᴄᴇᴄʟᴀɪᴍ → perrie edwards

ʜᴇɪɢʜᴛ → 5ft 3in

ʜᴀɪʀ → blond

eᴇʏᴇs → bright blue

sᴄᴀʀs → a scar on her stomach from getting a surgery removing her gallbladder, one across her forearm from not listening as a child and not paying attention to where things were causing her to accidentally gash her arm

 ༄ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ

ᴛʀᴀɪᴛs → + very warm welcoming, caring, will legit put your needs in front of her own, - hurt her or her friends vile, manipulative at times, can be snarky

ғᴇᴀʀs → being alone and spiders

 ༄ ʙᴀᴄᴋɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ

*nova lee reign never wanted the life she was give but being born into a family of one of the most fearful and powerful businessmen/women in new york she had no choice but to follow in her family’s lifestyle. From a young age she had dreams, dreams that didn’t involve business deals, business meeting or being a feared person. 

*nova always wanted to go into music, whether it be starting a record company or sign a record deal one day, make a name that wasn’t her family’s but had to keep that a secret from her family but only made it her misson to make her dream a reality once she learned what her parents actually did soon making her actually having to live a double life because she told them her dreams and they laughed

* her parents say they own a company by the name Reign Enterprise but in reality that company is just a front of what really is going on behind closed doors. Reign Entireprise is just a codename for her family to hide behind the fact that they are a powerful mob family that instead of selling stock, they sell drugs and when they don’t get their way, they kill anyone that gets in their way.

*nova does everything she can to come out on top whether it be overworking herself or using her family ties to try to take down whatever competition which was how she got to be apart of her band. she hates using the name she was given but once she found out it worked out in her favor she went with the flow. well until she met a boy.

*when nova met alex she felt on top of the world. she didn’t follow her parents rules, she felt reckless and happy. she was in love. when she was with the male she forgot who she really was and that wasn’t okay with her family. which is where her secret comes in. two years into their relationship the two were just about to engaged, when her parents found out that nova was going to leave her family’s lifestyle they ordered a hit on her boyfriend and just before he got down on one knee the male was shot and killed by the hand of nova’s father and nova was the one to cover up the death.

 she keeps a double lifestyle, working for what she what she loves doing and trying to reach her goal but also trying to show her parents the fact that she could one day take over for them. personality wise, she’s a bit sassy will try to get you to cause trouble with her but that’s because she’s always looking for a good time. she’s also generally really sweet but that’s because she uses that as an advantage to get people to join in on all her plans and fun.she’s really loyal to her friends but to her enemies she’s a snake, she will do anything to ruin their life try to find their deepest secret and expose them only because that’s the kind of person she is.

 ༄ PLOTS 

 Everything that is right here! is very wanted!!!

roommate plots- please give this girl a normal life and give her some roommates who don’t know about her family and just loves her for her and dont think anything other than she’s a actual nice person (0/2)

ride or die/squad – all the types of best friends, male best friends, ride or die best friend a partner in crime this girl needs all the friends that she hides who she really is from of course but she still gets along with these people and maybe theyre the first person she calls when she needs to talk or get away (0/2)

childhood best friend- grew up together, always stuck together, and saw each other through the good and bad times. knows every secret and is that person she calls when she knows she’s going to have a mental breakdown (0/2)

guy best friend - plain and simple. her male bff that she goes to all the time to cheer her up, be her hype man and just talk about any and all things (0/1)

music friends - give this girl all the music friends pleaseeee (0/??)

Stay- “Tell me that it’s all okay I’ve been waitin’ on this all damn day call me in the mornin’, tell me how last night went I’m here, but don’t count on me to stay” || basically a very toxic relationship its a complete back and forth between the two. they either are together or they’re not until nova can’t take it anymore. yes she’ll still come when they call at three a.m. drunk off their ass but she won’t stay. she’ll help take care of them but that’s all. (0/1) 

Motivate- “When he moves in, I cave in want him to dive in my ocean we take off our labels on the coffee table 2AM and we just begun” || a relationship that purely works on sexual attraction, but also one of nova’s biggest motivators in life. it’s either really toxic or pretty serious. this person would be the biggest influence for her writing her song ‘motivate’ (0/1)

Happier- “And the image of you being with someone else well, it’s eating me up inside but we ran our course, we pretended we’re okay now if we jump together at least we can swim far away from the wreck we made” || basically this is a relationship (romantic or friendship wise im sure we can make it work) where no one wants them together. her friends tell her they’re a bad duo and their friends tell them they’re a bad duo. nova makes the decision to just be friendly during group appearances but knows they’ll never work out because the world is against them but she wants the other to be happier in life. (0/2)

Bad At Love- “I’m bad at love but you can’t blame me for tryin’ you know I’d be lyin’ sayin’ you were the one that could finally fix me lookin’ at my history” || nova doesn’t believe in love, she had it and it went away and then she tried again but she was never good at it because she makes herself believe that she doesn’t deserve love. this is basically a past relationship where she left, she ran when things got good because she was scared so she left without a word and now she’s running into them again and everything hits her at once. its a pretty angsty plot. (0/1)

Sweet but Psycho- “You’re just like me, you’re out your mind I know it’s strange, we’re both the crazy kind you’re tellin’ me that I’m insane boy, don’t pretend that you don’t love the pain” || this is like a ride or die plot, basically they’re like two pea’s in a pod. they get in trouble together, they have fun together, they might experiment things together but in the end they’re like the same person. nothing sexual comes from this. (0/2)

[flowerpowell]

You Drive Me Crazy (Colt x MC)

PART FOUR

Hey all! Here’s part four and we’re almost half way through the series! As always I dont own the characters, they belong to Pixelberry. The story is set in an AU that’s why it doesn’t follow any RoD events. I hope you’ll like it!

Rating: PG

Word count: 2110

Tagging: @agent-bossypants @brightpinkpeppercorn @confessionsofabrokegirl @lovehugsandcandy @choicessa @walkerduchess @choicesarehard @going-down-downtown @long-gone-girl @client-327 @desireepow30 @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction @umiumichan @powdesiree1986 ♥

Colt woke up blinded by the little rays of sun peeking through the window. He tried to pull the blinds but a sudden wave of nausea and a sharp pain in this head stopped him. The hangover was killing him, that’s for sure.

He turned slowly to the other side of the bed and spotted a half-naked woman, still sleeping. He tried to recall her name but the only one he could come up with was Ellie. And that was definitely not Ellie. Sadly.

As quietly as he possibly could, Colt got up and quickly got dressed. He wanted to get out of the unknown house before the woman woke up. Again.

For the last two weeks, that was what his days looked like: getting up with a hangover, realizing he was not in his room, quickly leaving the house before anyone woke up, spending the day in his safe place, going clubbing in the evening again, drinking too much and ending up with random women in their beds.

He felt awful, not because he couldn’t remember any of their names, but because he knew he was doing it because of Ellie. Instead of telling her how he really felt, he was running away.

He hadn’t seen Ellie, or Mona, or anyone for that matter, for almost two weeks. His phone was turned off as he felt like he couldn’t be bothered with everyone asking about him. Or maybe he just didn’t want to know what was between Ellie and Landon. Or maybe Lucas? Luke? Logan?

Ehh, who cares.

Staggering, he managed to get outside and started looking for his motorcycle. It wasn’t the best idea to drive it in his condition, but he stopped caring about anything the moment he realized he was in love with his best friend. And she would never fall for him.

“Hey! Colt, right?” He heard a familiar voice behind him and prayed it wasn’t the person he thought it would be.

Please don’t be him, please don’t be--

“I’m Logan, remember?”

Uhh, please no!

“Unfortunately,” Colt answered not even bothering to look at Logan.

“Do you feel alright, man? You look sick,” Logan’s voice was full of concern but somehow it made Colt even angrier.

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel, if we’re being honest.”

“Whoa, I was trying to be nice!”

“Then don’t. Just go away, kid.”

Logan shook his head, “Ellie’s told me many good things about you, I guess she was wrong.”

“Ellie? Leave her out of it! She deserves better than you!” Colt yelled, flinching a little, still struggling with the effects of his hangover.

“Better than me? You’re talking about yourself?” Logan laughed and Colt clenched his fists. “I like Ellie and she likes me. If you have a problem with it then maybe grow up. And if you think you’re a better match for her, maybe you should answer her calls more often. Or check in with her once in a while? If you bothered to talk to her at all, you’d know her father is in hospital again. And she needed you but you never called her. Great friend indeed, huh?”

Shit.

Colt watched as Logan walked away, standing stunned, not sure what to do.

Ellie’s father was in the hospital again?

Oh no, oh no, oh no.

He disappointed her. Again. He was constantly disappoining her. Hell, he disappointed himself too.

I don’t deserve her, I don’t deserve anything.

Without thinking too much, he hopped on his bike and drove to the hospital, hoping Ellie would be there with her father.

She was.

When he spotted her, his heart sunk and he felt like the worst person on Earth. She was sleeping on a chair, next to her father’s bed, squeezing his hand. It’d been only two weeks, but she looked tinier than the last time he saw her.

Hesitantly, he walked up to them and put his arm on Ellie’s shoulder waking her.

“Mmm...Colt?” she asked opening her eyes and he squeezed her hand reassuringly.

“I’m sorry, El. I’m so, so sorry,” he whispered, fighting back his tears. How could he do this to her? To the only person who actually still cared about him?

“Colt,” she threw her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer.

“Shh, I’m here, El. I’m here.”

“He’s okay,” she finally pulled away and motioned to her father. “The doctors say he can come back home today. He’s overworked himself, again.”

“Again?” he asked remembering the last time it happened. Ellie was fourteen when  her father was admitted to the hospital and she was scared to death. Colt would come over to her house and slept in her room with her so she wouldn’t feel lonely. He noticed that even though she was twenty now, she didn’t look any less scared. He wondered who kept her company at night. Was it Logan?

Don’t go there, don’t go there.

“I’m, errr, sorry I wasn’t there for you. I had to deal with some...stuff.”

Smooth.

“It’s okay, I understand. I’ve noticed you’ve been rather distant and I thought maybe you needed some space. Don’t worry, I’ve been taken a good care of!” She smiled at him reassuringly but he felt even worse.

“Oh. By who?”

“Well, Mona patted me on the back but I figured she’s not the type to be super affectionate. Toby and Ximena kept me busy and I didn’t have the time to panic and Logan--”

“Time’s up, kids! I need to take Mr. Wheeler to run some tests. Only his closest family can be present,” the nurse who just came into the room started waking up Ellie’s father and Colt looked at his friend, mentally begging her to continue what she was about to say.

“Later,” instead she said, “come to the garage in the evening, I have some exciting news!”

Colt only nodded as the nurse closed the door right in front of his face. He only hoped Ellie’s news wouln’t be about Logan.

~~~~

“Well, well, well! Look who decided to show up at last! Are you sure you’re in the right place?” Mona mocked him the second Colt entered the garage. He rolled his eyes in response but his face fell when he saw Logan working on something in the corner.

“Who invited this dickhead here?! Should I show him the exit?” He asked clenching his fists.

“Whoaa, someone needs some anger management therapy! He didn’t do anything to you, Colt.”

“I don’t need any anger management therapy, I need him to stop pissing me off! What is he doing here?”

“Your father hired him. You know, after one employee took a two-week break he had to find some replacement.”

“HE. IS NOT. MY. REPLACEMENT. And he will never be!” He gritted his teeth and Mona took a step back.

“Whoa, what did he even do to you? Is that about Ellie?”

“TADAAAA!” Both Mona and Colt turned to see Ellie standing in front of them in the tank top showing her new tattoo. Mona nodded approvingly but Colt was standing still, his mouth wide open.

“MONA?” He finally turned to Mona, “WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FRIEND?!”

“Me? Nothing. But Ximena mentioned she was a tattoo artist and asked if Ellie wanted one and she did,” she shrugged.

“AND YOU APPROVED?”

“Umm? I’m twenty, I don’t need anyone’s approval, you know that, right?” Ellie interjected and Mona quietly left the two of them alone.

“I’m—just shocked. That you would do it... I mean, I was gone for two weeks and I come back and you have your arm covered in ink. But it’s cool. Really. If you say you’ve also changed your name I won’t be surprised. Go ahead. Hit me.”

Ellie laughed and Colt smiled. He missed that sound.

“Nope, only the tattoo for now. But,” she lowered her voice, “there is one more thing I crossed out of my bucket list. And one another I’m about to cross out this weekend.”

“Another one? What did you cross out?” He asked confused and Ellie bit her lip.

“I had my first kiss a few days ago,” she nodded towards Logan and Colt felt as if a bucket full ice-cold water was thrown on him.

“With... Logan?”

“Yes! He was so gentle and sweet--”

“I don’t want to hear about it.” He quickly cut the conversation short. The fact that she didn’t remember  Colt and her kissed, that he could survive. But the fact that she thought her first kiss was with Logan, it was too much.

“Sooo... What have you been up to?” Ellie finally asked.

“Oh, you know, just...stuff.”

“Meaning the usual: alcohol, girls and races?” she asked innocently but it somehow made Colt angry.

“Well, I’m not a saint like Logan, you know about it,” he shrugged and then asked, “so what have you been up to? Probably not alcohol, boys and races, huh?”

“I spent most of my time with Logan. He gave me a few driving lessons actually and said I was pretty good!”

“Kiss ass,” Colt muttered.

“We got pretty close. I really like him, Colt. I think he might be my first serious boyfriend.”

“Him?! No way, El. Do you know anything about him? He’s Mona friend, that suspicious. Don’t rush into things, he’s no good news.”

“Why are you so anti-Logan? He’s a great guy! He’s--”

“I don’t wanna hear about him, okay? Just saying you should stay away from him before things get too serious.”

“Might be a bit too late for that,” she whispered and he turned to her quickly, shocked expression on his face.

Don’t say that, don’t say that, don’t say that.

“Do you mean you... slept with him?” he asked praying for a “no.”

“Not yet. But remember when I said about this other thing from my bucket list that I’m about to cross out? He’s taking me for a weekend trip! My dad agreed, he likes Logan too. And I think I’m ready.” Ellie said blushing.

“You can’t do that! You’re not ready!”

“I am!”

“You’re not! You just met him!” Colt tried to argue, slowly losing his patience.

“And you know all these women you sleep with every day?”

“This is...That’s not...It’s different!”

“It’s not. You told me to start living the way I want and I want it. I don’t even know I’m telling you all of this. I just figured since you’re my best friend and we’ve never had secrets I’d tell you but I guess I was wrong,” she glared at him.

“You are not losing your virginity to Logan!!” Colt yelled making Mona, who just entered the room, drop the screwdriver.

“Okaaay, I clearly wasn’t done in the other room,” she murmured and escaped as quickly as possible.

“Not so loud, you moron!” Ellie hushed him. “You’re not my father. You’re not me. You don’t get to decide.”

“Oh yeah? Maybe I’m not your friend either?”

“Rememeber when we had our first fight? You told me if was a mistake to be friends with a girl like me. That we shouldn’t be friends and it was a bad idea. Maybe you were right. Maybe we shouldn’t be friends since you clearly don’t want me to be happy!” Ellie exclaimed and Colt stood stunned.

Was she... breaking up with him?

“Ellie...”

“I’m sick and tired of people telling me what to do. You told me to set up my own rules. You told me to live the way I want to. And when I try to, you stop me. I’m sick of it, I’m done!”

“Ellie, please...”

“No, Colt. I need to get going, Logan’s waiting. You won’t ruin this for me.”

“Ellie...” Colt pleaded but she already left and got in Logan’s car. They drove off and Colt couldn’t get rid of the feeling of loss.

“Well, that’s quite a show you put up here. If you only fought for her the way you fought for her virginity, maybe you two would be a couple by now,” Mona joked earning a diguisted look from Colt.

“I’ve lost her. The only person I think I might even love, I lost her.”

[thefandomsurfer]

My top 20 favorite Tokyo Ghoul characters

I usually only do top 10s but like...I love so many characters in Tokyo Ghoul it was really hard for me to do?? So I did more. Also DO NOT GET offended. Even my honorable mentions are very...very dear to me. (Also the places are just how mush I, myself, enjoyed the character not how great the character is or that your opinion isnt valid. And I skipped most of the Suzuya squad because they would probably dominate my top six or something and that wouldnt be fair haha )

Honerable mentions:

Hide:

Itori:

Arima:

Matsumae

Kimi

Nishiki:

Shirazu ginishi

THE ENTIRE SUZUYA SQUAD (Nakarai, Mikage, Mizurou, Hanbee.)

Now onto my list!

20.  Shuu Tsukiyama

I really didnt like him much at first. He made me uncomfortable and really annoyed. I mean, yeah, certain times I thought he was pretty funny but he made me more and more unnerved the longer I saw him. But then when I saw his nicer side and especially during seeing his loyalty and love for his family he started to grow on me. And now hes on this list!

19. Rize Kamishiro

Rize always was interesting to me. I wondered how she got to where she was, why she was so important in the ghoul world and just how she got to be so strong. Not to mention her characters personality made me very compiled to her. Then I got her backstory and understood her more. I liked her even more and began to respect her character. 

18. Renj Yomo

I always liked his ‘silent protector’ vibe even before finding out his backstory. I thought he was loyal and smart. And then it was revealed that he was the uncle to some very improtant characters and it made me love him even more. His backstory contributed to his gruffness and protective nature and not to mention his kagune is freaking AWESOME.

17. Ayato Kirishima

Hes grown into someone I really enjoy. I...really didnt like him. He hurt Touka and acted like an ass the whole time. Then I saw a softer side when it came to Hinami. He was so concerned and cared about her so much that it touched me a lot. And he was a little more calm and controlled compared to what he had been in the first series as well. He developed into someone who not only cared for his love interest but his family and those important to both of them as well.

16. Amon Koutarou

Amon, poor poor Amon. This guy has went through a whole lot during his time in the series. And hes accepted a lot as well. I always liked Amon even before everything like changed him. He seemed like a really cool guy who truly did what he thought was best. Then he learned what we the audience already knew. That ghouls weren’t as bad as everyone thought they were. And then fought for peace. And that coupled with how much he tried to help Seidou and loved Akira made be like and respect his character even more.

15. Kurona Yasuhisa

Another character I really liked from the beginning. See, I have a weakness for twins. I always loved the idea of one and think that no matter the relationship they are always interesting to watch in media. And her relationship with Nashiro, while not explored a whole lot, was still prominent and known. And her denial about her death and the form of insanity she went through because of it was both sad and entertaining to watch. The fact that she started to think about forgiving the person who killed her as well was...amazing. Over all I wish she was explored a bit more but am happy with what I got.  

14. Urie Kuki

Another character that I slowly learned to appreciate. He started out as someone who cared only for his own motives but after losing someone who he hadnt realized he cared for he begun to care for his team and mant to protect them as much as he can. Becoming someone worthy of their loyalty and love. Going as far as to save one of the ones who betrayed him and tried to kill him just to get them all together again and keep his promise to his dead friend.

13. Ui Koori

Im not sure what made me drawn to him? Maybe his relationship with Hairu or his sense of Justice? I dont know but I do know that I like seeing his appearances. His fights and thought process was always fun as well. Over all Im not sure why I like him all I know is that I really do haha 

12. Ken Kaneki

Okay I know, its basically illegal to have him so low on my list but honestly? I never really got that deep into his character? I mean he was sweet at first but then he was kind of boring? And I liked Haise a lot but really didnt like the reaper? The OEK one is cool and all but I still never got overly attached? I dont know. But I will say he is cool and I love how dedicated he is to his loved ones. And how honest he is about his flaws. Its really nice to see a protagonist that admires that he is selfish in certain ways and isnt always trying to do things for ‘the greater good’. And will do cruel and horrible things when push comes to shove. It makes him seem...a lot more human and tragic. Yet the fact he still had his happy ending made me happy for him. After the hell hes been through he deserves it.     

11. Seidou Tawkizawa

Seidou. He...certainly needs a little help. Poor guy was such a innocent kid before his whole life was turnt upsidedown. I’ll be honest...I thought he was kind of annoying at first and then very scary later on. But after seeing a bit of his side of how everything went down and how much he cared for Akira and Amon my liking for him skyrocketed and I couldn't wait to see him again in the next chapter. How he sees himself and his future...it just hit to close to home for me. And soon enough he became one of my favorite characters.

10. Haise sasaki

Ahh, my favorite of all the Nekis. I really, really liked him. How parental he was with his squad and his storyline always interested me. The amnesia thing has always been one of my favorite tropes. He, to me, was a perfect mix of Kuroneki and Shironeki. Having the lightheartedness and empathy of Kuroneki and having the toughness and ability to fight as Shironeki. I liked how goofy he could be (i.e dressing up as women) and all his little moments with Akira, Arima and Juuzou. But he was a dream, nothing meant to last, so he had to go. But that does NOT mean I didnt enjoy watching him the most.

9. Kanae

I just really like her. I think her backstory is sad but not overdoing it and her dedication to Tsukiyama was certainly something that drew me to her. At first I thought I’d hate her but found myself sorely mistaken. And I cried a whole lot at her death and the touching moment when Tsukiyama, the person she loved so much, called her by her real name and accepted her despite

 the fact she thought she never deserved anything even similar to perhaps she’d be even higher had she stayed longer but she left far to soon.

8. Eto Yoshimura

Eto is very interesting and fun to watch. Cruel and mean, yes, but also unpredictable! She never failed to make a impression on me everytime I saw a panel of her. I was always wondering ‘what will she do next?’ you know? I absolutly loved watching\reading her. Her backstory made me love her even more seeing as she had a bit of a struggle to get to were she is now.

7. Hairu Ihei.

Hairu is someone else I dont know why I like so much? We didnt see her much at all and what we did see of her was little. But something about her drew me in. She was cute and I didnt expect much from her but found out she was pretty strong. Also with how sweet and air headed she acted I already liked her a little, the strength was only a added bonus. I only wish we got to see more of her. 

6. Uta

Uta, someone who I already liked, only grew on me as time went on. I thought he was funny, unique and very good looking. And as time whent on, and seeing how twisted he could be, it only made be want to see what would happen next with him. Whose side he was really on. Things like that. But then his fight with Yomo made be see him in a more emotional light. Seeing how close he was to him and still was in in a way. It was sweet and only made me like him even more. 

5. Akira Mado 

Akira Mado. At first I never thought much of her. Just a sort of bland character who had lost her father. Nothing new, nothing interesting. But her relationship with Amon certainly made be feel a little closer to her and made be pity her at the end of the first manga. But then in Re: I grew a lot closer to her really quickly. Her character seemed more open to others and friendly. Her realtionship Haise especially made me like her a whole lot. Then all her confusion and journey forgiving and accepting ghouls made he so interested and caring of her character. How much she wanted to protect Seidou and the fact she still loved Amon-It just...Made he love her. So much. 

4. Saiko Yonebayashi

Saiko is a very funny individual that I didnt like much at first. I thought she was more or less dead weight and didnt understand why she was their to begin with. But the more we got to know her the more that I grew to love her development and character. Shes funny and kind but also strong and determined. I love her a whole lot. How determined she is to do what she thought was right and how much she cared for everyone in her squad despite her own initial unwillingness to try and work. All things I love about her. 

3.  Tooru Mutsuki

Now I know how much this character is hated...And I understand too. He did a lot of twisted and messed up things. Stayed on the bad side a long time, attacked Touka and his squad helped turn Kaneki into  a monster...But his backstory and the personality we were originally introduced to made me love him so...so much. It didnt matter much to me what he did because I knew why he did it and not to mention...Mutsukis one of the most interesting characters to analyze because of his mindset. Also the fact he tried to redeem himself and felt guilty about everything he did...It shows that he is trying to do better and he is. I just....really, really love Mutsuki.

2. Touka Kirishima

Touka is a very rough character, and I get that some people just dont like her, But I loved every second of her. The person with a rough outside slowly breaking out of their shell and becoming gentler as time goes on- its something I have a soft spot for. Loyal, selfless, strong and knows what she wants. A woman who is strong without being controlling or mary sue. I never got annoyed or bored of her and looked forward to seeing her every single time a new chapter was put out. And also her protectivness towards Kaneki, her child, Ayato, and Hinami made me love her all the more. Shes also got my favorite Kagune of the whole series-Yet another thing I love about this character.

1. Juuzou Suzuya

By FAR my absolute favorite character in Tokyo ghoul. Now dont get me wrong-Im well aware of his faults. And I know he wasnt on the good side for a while either, But even though these things are there, I love him anyway. Hes so interesting and his backstory was so heartbreaking. When I first saw him I was indeed mildly creeped out but it also made me curious. The more I saw of him the more I wanted to analyze and get to know his character more. And right when I thought I got to know him-The one person who saw him as a person and treated him as he should be treated was taken away. This caused Juuzou to experience his first emotional loss in a very long time. And he changed. I personally enjoy his more mature personality compared to his more bloodthirsty one but love both either way tbh. And hes also very adorable when he wants to be so thats always a plus.    

[ssj4]

Sorry to bother you, but I keep seeing posts about a future Goten AU and I keep getting really curious! However, when I try to find links to anything about it I end up at some abandoned URLs.

SECOND TIME TRYING TO ANSWER THIS CAUSE MY IDIOT ASS FORGOT I HAD ONE TYPED OUT AND CLOSED EVERYTHING :)

some disclaimers im getting most of this from an old draft i had written about the au, i havent watched the specific scenes in dbz and dbs that these are based on in well over 2+ years so i dont remember the timeline of events that well so im sorry if some of it just straight up doesnt make sense lol

this whole thing did start out as an excuse to replace the romantic scenes with mai in dbs with goten actually so the truten themes are pretty significant but that aside future goten is a very good boy with a much different personality and outlook on things… much like how future trunks is compared to his main timeline counterpart :3c the whole thing was developed by me and my gf together and we never rly posted too much about it and the broken links you did end up finding were probably from like the one or two times we did but here u go im glad u asked 

I HOPE THE READ MORE LINK WORKS ON MOBILE IF NOT IM SORRY

the big change is it starts out with chi chi getting pregnant before goku dies of heart disease or whatever in the android saga instead of the cell saga, so even after he dies in that timeline she still has their 2nd son and he grows up in the future timeline with trunks.

when they were kids (like 10-15) goten was stronger than trunks just bc gohan and chi chi were there to teach him just a little bit. trunks and goten sparred a lot though so he was able to keep up but never really passed him. (that part isnt really important but i figured it was a nice detail that made sense)

thats when history of trunks comes into play, and they both get really serious about gohan training them. the scene in the movie where gohan knocks trunks out before flying off and getting killed is the same except now he just knocks out 2 kids instead of 1 i guess. 

i feel i gotta add that this au was created when the future trunks arc in dbs was airing, and mai was introduced as his love interest, and honestly in my opinion the scenes were written really well but i just wasnt digging the fact that before she was granted a younger appearance she was already middle aged, like she was old enough to be his mom if that makes sense. so it really isnt a dig on mai at all cause i love her and id die for her its just the romantic plot that i didnt like. so when that was airing i thought “WELL what if that was someone else” 

she’s still with them though in this timeline and she still has her younger appearance! 

the future timeline is still progressing the same as it did in canon, the androids still wrecked the place and no one was strong enough to do much about it so trunks is still set up with a time machine to meet with the other timeline. goten stays back and does his best to protect everyone while hes gone just in case

some stuff happens in between here but skip ahead to trunks coming back from the trip after the cell games i guess! lots of stuff happened obviously like trunks literally dying, spending years in the time chamber with his dad, meeting a whole gaggle of clowns that he’d only heard stories about, seeing gohan as a preteen. hes got a lot of stuff to share!!! now hes back and he can take care of the androids + cell + and goten can catch up and lifes pretty good over there! 😇

during the rebuilding period goten would spend a lot of time with chi-chi and ox-king and still slept over there occasionally which she really appreciated, and he invited trunks and bulma over there with him frequently.

despite this he wasnt present when she died as no one really expected goku black to wipe out the landscape so far from the city, but she and ox-king died along with more than half of the population. (ugh god im so sorry queen i love you😓)

as i said before mai is still here and she’s still the leader of the resistance!

events of future bulmas death is the same as well as mai originally intending to go with trunks when they meet up together in an abandoned building. goten is already there as the three of them rest up a bit and start making their way to capsule corp. goten was planning on staying behind anyways but he wanted to see the two of them off. when goku black interrupts them as they arrive, trunks and goten encourage mai to escape, seeing as she only has a gun and everyone already knows bullets arent gonna work. 

this scene is the same as it was in canon, where trunks tries to rush black but gets beaten quickly. mai trying to buy him time to let him escape is replaced with goten actually fighting him and taking a hit for trunks but getting knocked out as mai did. trunks under extreme stress from already losing his mom today assumes hes dead instantly, (he has dumb bitch disease, he didnt even check for a pulse in canon!🤔) and fires a masenko to escape into capsule on his own 

after trunks pops back in time and black is focused on searching for him, mai sneaks back in to retrieve goten (even though they told her to leave she really just ducked behind some rubble and stayed close, because she wasnt just gonna leave them!)

she takes him back to an underground bunker with other members of earths resistance and when he wakes up she tells him that trunks made it to the time machine and that hes presumably in the other timeline now. 

idk if yall remember it well but i rewatched some of the episodes just for this, and trunks in the main timeline believing goten was killed and mai is alone and he wont be able to get back is so sad. and when he spent that day with gohan and his family and cried thinking about how if black hadn’t have shown up, he couldve had a family too… he doesnt deserve to be this sad 😥

skip to when he’s finally able to get back home with goku and vegeta with him and they make their way to the bunker where he sees mai and goten together! the scene in canon where he rushes over and starts spilling his heart out is the same, with him telling goten he thought he died

they get a really sweet hug moment here when theyre both happy to see the other is still safe and it gives both goku and vegeta some Food For Thought, because goku actually didnt know there was a goten in this timeline, and he doesnt really recognize him at first. vegeta has the idea in his head that this is probably goten.

goten never really had any sort of real attachment to his dad. it makes sense hes never met him, hes only ever really heard about him through others, (his mom, his brother, trunks, and probably bulma has mentioned him as well) so he definitely knows OF him its just that, he doesnt know him. so when he sees the real goku standing there for once a lot of thoughts run though his mind, like, “that looks A LOT like goku black!” “thats definitely my old hairstyle” and “holy shit is that my dad?” but the first thing he actually says out loud is “Holy shit its goku orange” and vegeta really almost loses it because cause any doubt in his mind about this kid being related to kakarot just went right out the window cause only someone related to him would say that

and as you probably know a lot happens after that with them all finding a way to defeat zamasu but i dont want to include all of the rest when you can probably just interpret which scenes were changed  

ANYWAYS now instead of trunks surviving the apocalypse its trunks and goten surviving the apocalypse. thats why its not a really super romantic deal like Who has time for dates when goku black Might possibly be hiding in this abandoned olive garden?? so theyre just very close and privately affectionate

the ending where trunks and mai get to live in a new world with their counterparts is the same except gotens there with them of course, dbs left their ending pretty open 

so that takes care of the story changes, heres some additional details and information on gotens character in this au! 

heres his design, drawn by my girlfriend @ssj2 uwu !! 

he kept his natural hairstyle for a while, but i think he changed it sometime during the rebuilding period after the androids and just let it grow out a bunch. up until then he kept his natural style purely to honor the guy he’s heard so fondly of even if it brought him a lot of mixed feelings when people said he looks just like him. a really distinct feature about his new hairstyle is that the spikes look like horns and i love that a lot !!

and the shawl he wears was the same one chi chi wore 

some personality traits for future goten is that he has a habit of bottling up his negative emotions and has trouble taking care of himself, as hes always more focused on the well being of his loved ones. he can be mischievous and cocky but hes not overconfident (or he hasnt been since gohans death) however in some situations he can be charismatic and assertive which works really well imowhen their timeline is erased and theyre temporarily in the main timeline, goten gets to meet a bunch of people like gohan and his family, chi chi, and even his counterpart 

sorry if this post was messy i wasnt really sure how i wanted to make it look and im kinda bad at dumping information out so if any of its confusing just redirect me to it and ill try again gdjfksjdgsfk 😭❤

hmmm anyways thank u for reading!! its an au we made years ago and we love a lot and i hope u do too! be nice pls!! and send asks about it if you’d like cause its fun to think about! 

[balancedpluto]

All arcana asks ;)

I hate u so much Hayden. Putting it under a read more cuz HECK this is a lot. Also u can clearly tell Rose is my most fleshed out apprentice lmao. U can also tell when I started to burn out lol. THIS TOOK ME ALL DAY HECK

1. Name? Surname?Rose LaFontaineAaron (???)Lyra (???)

2. Any Family?Rose: she has a sister who’s 10 years older than her named Yvette, she’s a pirate. And her mother still lives in Fantasy France.Aaron: SO MANYLyra:….she doesn’t like to talk about it

3.Any Familiar?Rose: A bull mastiff named Mika who can change in size (so she can fit in a pocket or be the size of a horse, at her will)Aaron: A bearded dragon named Sir Slappy Skiddaddly the Third Lyra: A cute little rat named Pixie

4.Asra, Nadia, or Julian?Rose: JulianAaron: AsraLyra: Nadia

5. Best strength in magic?Rose: IllusionsAaron: Fire magic. Anyone who follows Eereree saw this coming.Lyra: the creation and manipulation of light

6. Favorite color?Rose: Maroon or light pink Aaron: Red. Surprise surprise Lyra: Purple

7. Favorite number?Rose: 69Aaron: 420Lyra: HOW DID YOU TWO ANSWER THAT SO FAST??? Uhh, 7?

8. Sexuality?Rose: BiAaron: PanLyra: Lesbian

9. Weird hobby?Rose: not really weird so much as unexpected for her, but she likes to sew and knit.Aaron: Weed lmaoLyra: Buying books but never actually getting around to reading them.

10. Favorite season?Rose: SpringAaron: FallLyra: Spring as well

11. Favorite weather?Rose: Sunny, but not hot.Aaron: Thunderstorms Lyra: Drizzly

12. Favorite place in Vesuvia?Rose: The Raven, or Mazelinka’s place. She loves that lady like she was her own grandmother.Aaron: The market. That pumpkin bread thoLyra: The palace library

13. How does their laughter sound like?Rose: Sober, its a soft almost teasing giggle. Drunk, loud cackling. Both are very charming in their own way.Aaron: LOUDLyra: giggling and soft snorting

14. How do they look like when they cry?Rose: She doesn’t cry often so when she does its…a lot. Loud gross sobbing often accompanied by yelling. Its not pretty.Aaron: Ghibli tears. You can’t convince me otherwise.Lyra: A lot of sniffling

15. What do they like to wear?Rose: Long dresses/skirts with low cut tops. Her brests are her best asset and she’s gonna show em whether you like it or not.Aaron: Tits out. That’s all u need to know.Lyra: Long, modest cut dresses with a corset. Very simple, but she always looke nice.

16. What are their fears?Rose: Fears? Don’t know her. (Actually death, which is…ironic considering the circumstances)Aaron: Abandonment. And cockroaches.Lyra: Rejection. The dark.

17. What do they like to do Friday night?Rose: put on fancy lingerie, get wasted, and play card games.Aaron: Blaze it lmaoLyra: (cuddling with Nadia) Reading

18. Do they use makeup?Yes. All 3 of them.

19. Favorite food?Rose: Mama LaFontaine’s crepesAaron: Spicy Vegetarian ChiliLyra: Cookies (technically not FOOD, but sweets are her big weakness)

20. Favorite drink?Rose: Rosé wine. Sounds redundant considering her name, but thats why she likes it. Growing up she thought it was named after her.Aaron: Just water, surprisingly.Lyra: Green tea

21. Zodiac sign?Rose: CancerAaron: Cancer Lyra: Aquarius(I dont care i have two apprentices that are the same sign leave me alone)

22. Day of birth?Honestly haven’t even thought if that lmao

23. Favorite movie?Rose: Heathers. She loves a bad bitch movie.Aaron: Shrek. Lyra: Not really a movie person tbh. She likes Disney stuff tho.

24. Favorite music genre?Rose: Classic rock or indie. Also has an interest in things involving old or obscure instruments.Aaron: Pop PunkLyra: Soft indie or video game soundtracks

25. Favorite song?Rose: Over the Hills and Far Away- Patty GurdyAaron: It’s Never Sunny in South Philadelphia-The Wonder YearsLyra: Youth- Daughter

26. Favorite TV show?Rose: Likes to watch cooking shows cuz its usually the only thing good onAaron: Doesn’t really do TVLyra: Also not really into TV, will put on like, QVC or something for background noise tho (im guilty of this)

27. What is their style?Rose: Like i said before. Long skirt, tits OUT.Aaron: Lazy but somehow manages to look hot? How does he do that???Lyra: Simple and modest, but always in pretty colors.

28. Any mental health issues?Rose: She has some anger issues, along with a tendency to bottle everything upAaron: hrrhgghh i haven’t gotten that deep with him WHOOPSLyra: Really bad anxiety

29. Any health issues in general?Not really?

30. Are they human?Yeah….or are they dancer?

31. Favorite book?Rose: She honestly can’t remember the last time she had time to read for fun.Aaron: Wtf is a book lolLyra: Don’t make her choose for the love of god

32. Favorite book genre?The person writing these questions assumes I know books lmao

33. Favorite time of the day?Rose: SunsetAaron: Early afternoonLyra: Like, really early morning. My sweet child why are you awake this early

34. If they weren’t a magician, who would they be?Rose: A pirate like her sister. Unless this is meant as like a modern AU then she’d probably sew and knit cute things and sell them online.Aaron: Probably a video game youtuber tbhLyra: Not much different, only she’d run a little mom and pop knick knack/ book store instead of a magic shop

35. Do they believe in ghosts?Yeah

36. Do they believe in aliens?Kind of?

37. Do they like sports?What is this…sport you speak of?

38. How do they look like?Sexy

Rose: 

Aaron:

Lyra:

(art by @willowwish64 )

39. What is their biggest motivation to solve the Lucio’s killer mystery?Rose: To clear Julian’s name Aaron: To make sure it wasn’t him and he just doesn’t remember. I mean…fire is kinda his thing, so…Lyra: To put Nadia’s mind at ease

40. What do they think of Lucio so far?Rose: “He’s an asshole.”Aaron: “Goatman! Fuck you, goatman!”Lyra: “I can never look at a goat again without feeling terrified”

41. What do they think of Nadia so far?Rose: “She’s the kind of woman I strive to be. I have so much respect for her.”Aaron: “A smart, capable woman. Also really hot like wowie.”Lyra: “She’s so amazing and so beautiful and i don’t know why she likes me so much, I’m so dull compared to her and-” (this can go on for hours)

42. What do they think of Asra so far?Rose: “A great friend and mentor. I’d do anything for him.”Aaron: “He’s like…a human sheep…but really skinny…imagine hugging cotton candy filled with bones…its amazing. Also dat ass.” (He loves him but he’s bad at serious answers)Lyra: “A close friend to whom i owe my life”

43. What do they think of Julian so far?Rose: “Oh, Julian. How do i begin to describe how i feel about him? I’ve never met someone who’s so smart and witty yet so dumb? And he’d do anything for you but doesn’t think he deserves the same, even though he does. And, well, i could go on but the long and the short of it is, I love that idiot.”

Aaron: “He’s like a taller, hotter version of me AND IM SO PISSED”Lyra: “he sure is…something”

44. What do they think of Portia so far?Rose: “My future sister in law???? I love her so much! ”Aaron: “She’s…so small…my god im surrounded by small people”Lyra: “She’s so lovely!! She’s like my best friend!”

45. What do they think of Muriel so far?Rose: “He…doesn’t like to talk much does he? And he’s so…TALL. Makes you wonder about…things.”Aaron: “Him big. ”Lyra: “He…kind of scares me a bit? ”

46. Do they like animals?OF COURSE

47. Are they allergic to anything?Nope

48. Do they have any talents (except magic)?Rose: Again, she’s really good at sewing/knittingAaron: He can lick his elbow. And he shows off his “skill” to everyone. Charming i know.Lyra: She’s really good with animals

49. Do they get drunk easily?Rose: No, she can hold her liquor pretty well. She usually just gets tipsyAaron and Lyra: YES

50 .What is their personality type?*fart noises*

51. What is their worst negative quality?Rose: She tends to dodge any question that’ll make her show any negative emotion. Being with Julian is kind of helping her with that, since he needs her support and she feels okay talking about this stuff with him. Also she tends to be kind of overly sexual. She doesn’t really mean to, it just happens.Aaron: He tends to take serious things as a joke sometimes.Lyra: She likes to just, avoid people. She’d rather just be alone by her own choice than face rejection.

52. What is their best positive quality?Rose: She’s like a mom? You wouldn’t think that on the surface, but she’s actually really warm and motherly.Aaron: So fucking funny.Lyra: She has a heart of gold

53. What is their position to fall asleep?Rose: She likes to fall alseep with Julian resting his head on her chest and petting his hair. Motherly instincts, i guess. Also it’s the only surefire way of making sure he sleeps. If she’s alone, on her stomach or side with her arms under the pillow.Aaron: Starfish. Asra just has to deal with it, i guess.Lyra: Curled up with Nadia. It’s where she feels safest.

54. The most uncomfortable moment they ever experienced?Rose: (spoilers) Finding out she died. Considering death is her greatest fear, it was especially hard for her to swallowAaron: When his brother found out him and Asra were fuckin…and he found out his brother and Nadia were fuckinLyra:…..

55. Their happiest memory?Rose: When she first came to Vesuvia. It was kinda scary, but there’s SO MUCH TO SEE!!Aaron: Getting Slappy. Lyra: Finding out Nadia likes her back. She nearly fainted.

56. Do they blush?Rose: Not really, if she does its hard to tellAaron: SometimesLyra: YES

57. Are they clumsy?Nah

58. Do they like jokes? Of course, they’re people, arent they?

59. How do they flirt?Rose: VERY direct. She’s not afraid to let people know what she wants.Aaron: “Hey cookin’, what’s lookin’?”Lyra: oh god she’s so bad at it help her

60. Favorite fruit?Rose: StrawberryAaron: Orange Lyra: Kiwi

[rouge-heichou]

I always thought my favourite characters would somehow correlate in their characteristics and while some of them do, some of them just don’t at all...

Death Note;

Mello; 

Angry little shit. 

Impulsive

sass

Probably annoyed 24/7

Does whatever is necessary to get what he wants 

self confidence is at 0

SnK;

LevI;

poop jokes

would prolly also make terrible dad jokes

sass

insanely OP 

stoic

heroic

good intentions but terribly awkward at conveying them

violent

Knows he’s OP as shit - fucking ackerman superhuman

makes death meaningful

Eren: 

Angry little shit

Impulsive

Protective af 

Does whatever he thinks is right 

But the character development tho 

Honest af - will always say what he thinks

used to be over confident

“suicidal bastard” - would totally die for freedom

Jean: 

Average joe 

probably most humane and relatable character in aot ever 

honest af - will always say what he thinks

Will totally be the voice for unpopular opinions

Pretty nice Leader qualities

is pretty self-aware after talk with Marco

values his life

MysMe;

Jihyun; 

Protective af 

Selfless af 

Metaphoric

Artist

That hair and those eyes tho

drama

what is confidence

Would die for your neighbour’s dog

Dont give him responsibility

he tries but he manages to mess it up

Zen;

protective af 

easy going

confidence level through the roof 

did I mention protective af?

understanding

loving

flirty

THE BEAST

Mama Zen

Vanderwood: 

Annoyed 24/7

Values his life

Secretly protective

sass

awkward about social interaction

OS Saeran / Unknown;

Angry little shit 

Smart

Daring

rlly hurt 

drama oh god

confident in his skills

kinda murderous

suicidal

actual complete mess

Amnesia;

Shin; 

Tsundere kinda

Sass

Smart ass

Emo

pretty self-aware

brutally honest - will tell you things you dont wanna hear in order for you to improve

actually super sweet and loving

Ukyo: 

Sweet af 

Loving

too loving for his own good 

protective

kinda crybaby

also murderous af

would stab himself in order to protect you

photographer

Hakuoki;

Hijikata; 

terrible jokes

vulgar af

would totally make poop jokes

brutally honest

all business

protective

kinda impulsive?

very confident in his abilities

Harada; 

loving

easy going

protective

flirty

pretty darn confident

Did I say easy going and loving?

Would totally be mama harada for everyone

Nameless;

Tei; 

Yandere

totally aware he’s messed up

tries his best not to be

caring 

Mama Tei

SO LOVING

Soft

Yuri; 

Flirty

Music teacher that turns music classes into Sex Ed 

Sugar Daddy

Prolly kinky af 

Lance; 

Kinda Tsundere

Smart Ass

annoyed 24/7

confidence is basically below basement level

easily jealous

THE KISS 

Dandelion;

Jiwoo; 

More TsunTsun than anything dere

writer

sass

emotional af

doesn’t know how to socialize and acts like some drama literature character

actually very protective

won’t say what he thinks and feels until the very last moment

pride is over the top

Nightshade; 

Goemon; 

flirty af 

protective

caring

loving

witty

OP as fuck but doesn’t like hurting people 

Values his own and other people’s lives

dedicated 

Hanzo; 

Pragmatic

Obeying

Protective

Wont talk unless talked to 

motivating

character development tho

Literally always there when you need help

Good old Naruto; 

Itachi; 

Selfless af 

Drama

pls protect him he deserved better

smart af 

OP af

protective

Will do awful things for the greater good

best big brother there is

Fairy Tail; 

Erza; 

strong independent 

protective

selfless

values her life

rlly hurt pls hug her, erza needs lots of lots of lots of love

I think... that’s all but... I just noticed there’s actually traits that are pretty common among almost all of these... But like how is Eren or Mello in here, while there’s also V and Itachi who are dramatic af and basically the complete fucking opposites... 

[assholemurphy]

oh yeah i definitely agree with that! the shit they all went through is awful, and after lexa died it definitely went downhill even more. though her coming back at the end was amazing!! and yea, o/ntari was a character i really hated lol. | agreed!! i really hope jaha dies soon, or at least isnt a huge part of season 5 | yess!! roan was such a good character, and him and bell wouldve been good ngl. | again i agree a lot haha. b/echo isnt a ship i like at all, and i really dont like (1/?) -🌸

echo, but she's a really good villain imo. | aahhh!! im so excited to watch s5! i actually just finished s4 lol (god that was intense). mt weather wasnt my favourite but it definitely had its moments, towards the end especially. but i really dislike maya and how jasper acted with and after her. | fav s3 moment has to be the clexa scenes. all of them. i love lexa so much tbh. and character i miss the most is definitely lexa!! hbu? | whats been your favourite plot line? (2/2) -🌸

The end scene with Lexa was almost too much for me. It was nice seeing Clexa back together, but it hurt to know it was rly over. I mean, the only thing I had against Lexa was the bindi (and how a lot of fans reacted to it being called out for what it was) but otherwise, I loved the character and for her to be rly gone, it hurt.

O/ntari can eat a dick, I s2g. Rape is never a plot device, not even for a villain, and the fact that (aside from one scene) it’s never even talked abt or acknowledged for what it was. I’ll never forgive Jroth for that or for never talking abt O’s abuse of Bell. But I’m hoping s5 will fix the latter.

Bruh, strap in. I’m not gonna spoil anything abt Jaha, but like, yeah, s5 is great.

Idek if they have a ship name, but I’m so on board with that ship. Like, I don’t think it’s v popular (m/m ships generally aren’t in this fandom :/) but I’d love some fics for it, even if I have to write them myself.

It’s not a good ship. She betrayed him so many times. I’m glad he’s happy, he deserves to be, but I just can’t get behind it. I’ll tolerate it bc it makes Bell smile (and he doesn’t do that often enough) but it just bugs me. I don’t hate it, but I don’t like it, ya know? But Echo as a villain was the best. I like her in s5 well enough, but like, considering how it’s being done, I just can’t get on board with her character. Ppl ship her with Raven and I’m just like why??? Emori is right there. 

It’s great. s5 is amazing. The writing is better than any other season imo and the villain is just absolutely amazing. Plus, the other ‘villain’ is just straight up badass. I’m living for this season, tbh. S4 was def intense. There was so much suspense, esp in the last few eps. Jroth has rly stepped up his game. 

I just like it bc we got to see the other delinquents (not just Bell and Clarke) kick ass. Like, Miller was great and Monty was amazing. I kinda liked Maya bc I love the whole ‘what my people are doing is bad, we have to stop them, bc if they’re killing others so that we can live, maybe we don’t deserve to live’ thing she had going on. Also Monty’s “Die.” quote is my everything. But I def didn’t like Jasper (I did at the beginning, but then I met a girl who explained to me a lot abt the whole thing and how it wasn’t good and just generally helped me see past the ‘I like him bc he’s dorky’ thing I had going on. Fast forward 4 years, I’m head over heels for her and we’re kinda talking marriage one day, so it’s great. But that’s not relevant to this ask, lol.) and how he acted towards Monty and Bellamy. Like, that wasn’t okay at all. Esp bc he knew the girl for what? A few weeks? And he was willing to sacrifice his friends for her? Wtf, Romeo, grow tf up and chill for like two seconds. His friends were literally being tortured and he was acting like a lovesick puppy. (Also, the whole ‘savior’ arc should have been Miller’s from the get go, it made more sense. I’m totes not bitter or anything.)

Those Clexa things gave me life. Like, Clarke being bi was everything I could ask for, bc she was the first bi character I’d ever seen on tv. And the relationship was so cute and sweet and they rly could have been great if the ship had survived for longer. Like, I’m forever bitter abt Jroth killing one of his only queer characters for shock value in such a stupid way.

Lexa was so good as a character. I miss her. If Jroth had ditched the damn bindi things would have been fine. I loved her so much. I just kinda hated the ship wars and the thinly veiled racism from both sides so I kinda stopped reblogging it, but it seems to have died down now.

My fav s3 moment was the meeting between Murphy and Bellamy in the tunnels (or whatever they were) plus the shoulder grab in the elevator. And Murphy performing open heart surgery (kind of, lol). It was great.

The character I miss most is probably Wells. He was great and his death didn’t have to happen. I miss him so much. He had so much potential. (And I’m a Wellamy and Wellphy shipper for life, honestly.)

My fav plotline was the whole thing with Pike. Bell and Monty following him. Miller being against him. The whole dictator thing mixed with the ‘us vs them’ mentality was so great to watch. I just wish we’d gotten to see how Monty dealt with the weight of helping kill the grounder army. (Monty’s pain/guilt is generally ignored for most of the show and it’s frustrating.)

Yours? And fav grounder character (other than Lexa)? What none shippy moment hurt the most?

[vanta-velouria]

I had a cold dose of reality last night.For a brief moment in my life i let my reality slip and thought maybe my world could be some semblance, some pieced together reflection of what other people lives are like. I for a small time stupidly thought i could have something to hope in, but hope is not a luxury afforded to people like me. 

I am a shit Buddhist, I am a very jealous person and i cant ever seem to let that go. I am jealous of everyone for everything. When I was a child I was jealous because everyone else I ever saw had a family. they had toys and easter bunnies. They had kisses on scraped knees and birthday candles. They had mommies and daddies who loved them. 

I had abuse. I had rape. I had violence and beatings, Eventually I didnt even have a mother because i was too pretty to be kept around her husbands so I got tossed away like rubbish. I was a problem and I was only good enough to come back for when I was old enough to raise her children, clean her home, get a job and pay her rent and her bills. 

while everyone else got sweet sixteens i was a seasoned sex worker with a full time job and three kids to take care of and bills to pay. while everyone else got to stay in high school and go on dates and go to parties, I got to go to work and get my ass beat and screamed at and reminded how worthless i was.

While everyone else got to go off to college and have friends and a social life, I fought my way to pay for college working two full time jobs and whoring myself on the side that maybe one day i could afford to stop having to struggle to just barely survive. I may have looked like i had a glamorous life in college, I modeled and had nice trinkets and sang in dive bars and coffee houses, but I over glamorize my recollections because it makes it easier to swallow. I modeled because it was extra money and would work around my other two jobs and school schedule and being yelled at and degraded for every imperfection on my body isnt something i would ever wish on anyone else. I had nice things and stupid toys, but they were gifts from the men i whored myself out to to pay for college, not presents from some one who loved me or anyone special and it rarely if ever made up for the things they did to me that guilted them into the stupid gifts! and I sang for spare change and whatever money i could make to try to e able to afford a meal every now and then. When you live in one of the most expensive cities in the world and you're poor, you will do whatever it takes to get something to eat once in a while. 

While everyone else got great memories I had reality.

 While everyone else had parents and family that went to their graduations, I had to beg and plead and pay my mother to come to mine of which she only came to one, just one, and only because i paid for her plain ticket and took her out to a fancy restaurant and took her shopping and gave her money and as soon as she was done in the city i gave her money for a plane ticket back to her home. I dont think she even actually went inside to watch me graduate from college. 

Wile the rest of the world gets their mommies and daddies to plan their weddings and walk them down the isles i didnt even get a response to my invitations. I never got to have a real wedding and nobody ever responded from my side. no one ever even looked at me when i was so happy to think maybe i would have someone who would stay with me and not hurt me anymore. nobody even noticed i was there. 

when I almost died and ended up in the hospital more times than i care to count, you think anyone ever showed up for me? you think anyone ever called? only once did i have a friend show up with my dad and that’s only because my dad lived with me and it was in his old car that i got hit and almost killed in. hell after that I never even had anyone come visit me. nobody could have cared any less. when my spine got demolished and i had to have emergency spinal surgery, do you think anyone gave a single shit? nope, I didnt even get but two weeks to recover from the surgery before i had to move and go immediately back to working two jobs to barely survive.

when i finally found a way to start transitioning, i thought maybe just maybe something good will get to happen to me and i can finally have one thing thats just for me in life. I was working two full time jobs and taking care of someone elses home and family at the same time and once again had to go back to sex work to buy groceries and maybe just maybe save a little here and there for my doctor appointments and my hormones. I went through hell just to afford to transition all the while being abused by my wife and the people we were staying with. only two find out after three years of working myself to death to try and even just accomplish this one thing, that i will never be able to physically transition. I wasted all that time and effort and money. the things i had to do to get that money.. all for nothing. while everyone else gets to have hormones and surgeries and even if they get misgendered they at least get support from a friend once in a while. i have always and will always be misgended every minute of everyday by everyone in my life save for three people, two of which i never get to talk anymore and one i only recently became reacquainted with. i will never get to look in the mirror and see anything other than this worthless piece of shit body that isnt good for anything except for other people to fuck once in a while when their drunk and im desperately hurting for money.

whenever my life falls apart do you think i have anyone in the entire world that i could call and ask for even a hug? because when my wife hurt me and left me 4 months ago and i had to live in my car, I tried. I begged everyone i knew to spend time with me and give me a hug. and when my wife finally left my home and I could stop being homeless I offered to pay anyone i knew a lot of money and buy them a plane ticket to just come and stay with me for a week and let me cry. not that I had many people to beg, but every single one turned me down so fast. I put an ad on craigslist and back page offering to pay anyone to just come and stay at my house so i wouldnt have to stay in my home alone. yeah that didnt end well for me and I should have known better, but god i was so tired of being all alone. 

while everyone else can thing of someone, anyone they can call when it all goes to shit, even if they think they have no one they do. they have a friend or a cousin they can go sleep on their couch or a parent they can go back home to even if they dont like the home situation they still at least have that option. 

when my wife was punching my face in i didnt even have friends to cry to or run to or stay with, nope the friend i thought i had took my wifes side and basically said i deserved it because i made my wife miserable by not giving her the life she had wanted. anyone else would have had somewhere to run to or someone to hug them.

I can in all honesty without a shadow of a doubt tell you that when the world falls apart i have never had anyone. not one person i could go to for a hug or a couch to crash on. not one place to call home and run to. and while everyone else gets to fuck it all up and fail and run away and lose themselves and find themselves and just breathe. I have never gotten that luxury, I was always the one everyone turned to, ran to, lived with, lived off of, used, abused, lied to and cheated on. I was always the one saving everyone else and keeping them from ever worrying or having to struggle. I was the one always giving everything up so that everyone else could have a better life. ive never had not one person in the whole world ever offer to give me even a day of peace. 

I will never get to break down, I will never get to fall or fail or run away like all of my exs and friends and everyone i know has. I will never know what its like to have a childhood or a birthday party, I will never know what its to have someone to run to and save me. I will never know what its like to be happy in my own body. i will never know what its like to not have to constantly work two jobs to just try to survive from all the debt and mess that my exs have all left me with when they all take off for fancier lives and richer people. I will never know what its like to have a family or even just a mom. I will never have anything. 

so while everyone else gets to gone on grand adventures and go to concerts and travel the world and have friends and go to clubs and go on dates and transition and have family they can visit and people who love them. while everyone else gets to fall apart sometimes. I will never know not one small faction of what any of that is like. 

that kind of life was never meant for someone like me. that kind of hope was never something i could ever even be allowed to dream of. I am not even a person. I am merely a body for others to use, to take from me what they need or want. money, time, love, sex, hopes and dreams i silently stowed away  knowing i could never have. i am just a thing for people to take everything they want from. and things arent allotted niceties such ad dreams and hope and places to run to. we are just things that exist to be used until we fall apart and are discarded for something better.

i forgot my place in the world for a while there. I have a boyfriend that was kind, even if he isnt in love with me. i have a friend who talks to me more than once every few months via text. i have my dogs and cats that let me cry on them when everyone else is asleep. i for the last few weeks have stupidly forgotten my place in the world and though that maybe, just maybe the univers was going to let me have a good thing. even if it was for long that maybe i could have a reason to wake up in the mornings aside from my obligation to my pets. I thought maybe i was finally going to have a reason to not want to die every minute of my life. 

but thaknfully i got reality checked and i was able to pull my head out of someone elses cloud, some one elses daydream. Thankfully i was reminded before i fell too deep into another persons heaven that things like day dreams and hope and love and friendship and kindness just arent meant for things like me. those are meant for people, not for me. I am just a thing to be used. I am not a person, never have been and never will be. 

For a moment last night i thought, what a dangerous thing it is to have no hope, to have nothing to believe in. what a dangerous thing that would be. if you have nothing than you have nothing to lose and nothing to keep you from running away and just cracking up and finally going mental and killing everyone you can in the world.. but then my dog woke up and shifted around and i was reminded that even though i have no hope, no dreams, nothing to keep me breathing for, I still have five little furry lives i am obligated to and responsible for. fucking exs always running away and leaving behind their responsibilities and pets for me to have to care for and give good lives to.

but my pets are all getting old now and ive bide my time this last almost decade and as much as i will miss their kindness and love, its only a matter of time before they all die and i will have nothing left to keep me here breathing for. it only a matter of time before i can end it all and have nothing left to stay around and suffer for. its only a matter of time before my tired, broken, used up body can finally have some peace.

im not even angry, im just grateful that i didnt forget my place for too long. because i think in all honesty i was wrong last night. not having hope isnt the most dangerous thing, having hope is.