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#then everyone would live freely without the burden of caring for me
howtomuslim · 1 month
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The Rights of Non-Muslims Under Sharia Law
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Sharia law is often misunderstood, especially regarding its treatment of non-Muslims. However, the Sharia has a rich tradition of pluralism, allowing non-Muslims such as Christians and Jews to follow their own laws while living in Muslim-majority societies.
1. Pluralism Under Sharia: A Historical Perspective
Sharia law is not a monolithic system but rather a framework that has historically embraced justice. Within Islamic societies, non-Muslims, particularly “People of the Book” (Christians and Jews), were allowed to practice their religion freely and follow their own legal systems concerning personal matters like marriage, divorce, and inheritance.
“Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error.” (Quran 2:256)
This verse underscores that faith is a personal choice and that people should be allowed to practice their religion without coercion.
2. Dhimmi Status: Protection, Responsibilities, and Benefits
Non-Muslims living under Islamic rule were given the status of “dhimmi,” which granted them protection and certain rights in exchange for the payment of jizya, a tax levied on non-Muslim citizens. The jizya was not merely a tax but a means to ensure the safety and protection of non-Muslims in a Muslim-majority state. It also exempted them from military service, which was obligatory for able-bodied Muslim men.
A lesser-known aspect of the jizya is that it also contributed to providing pensions and other benefits to non-Muslims. This system ensured that non-Muslims were cared for in the state, particularly in old age or during times of need.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasised the sanctity of the protection given to non-Muslims:
“Whoever kills a mu’ahid (a person who is granted the pledge of protection by the Muslims) shall not smell the fragrance of Paradise…” (Sahih Bukhari 3166)
“If somebody harms a disbeliever that’s living under the protection of the Muslims, they have harmed me; if they have harmed me, they have harmed God.” — Prophet Muhammed, Peace be Upon him
Islamic law does not allow for double standards when it comes to justice. Non-Muslims have the right to seek justice if they are wronged by a Muslim. Historical examples show that even the highest leaders, like Caliph Ali and Caliph Umar ibn Abdulaziz, upheld the rights of non-Muslims, ensuring that justice was served when a non-Muslim was wronged.
For instance, during Caliph Ali’s time, a Muslim who killed a non-Muslim was brought to justice, and the non-Muslim’s family was given the choice to demand the death penalty or accept compensation. Islamic Governance made sure everyone was responsible for their actions and justice was served.
3. Legal Autonomy: Non-Muslims and Their Laws
One of the most remarkable aspects of the Sharia’s application is its respect for the legal autonomy of non-Muslim communities. Non-Muslims were allowed to maintain their religious laws and customs in matters of personal status. This legal pluralism was practiced in various Islamic states, where Christian, Jewish, and other religious communities had their courts and legal systems.
“To each among you, We have prescribed a law and a clear way…” (Quran 5:48)
4. The Role of Jizya in Social Welfare
Non-Muslims under Sharia law were required to pay a tax called jizya (often being lower than the 2.5% tax on the wealth of Muslims paid towards charity yearly). However, this tax was a system that provided benefits, including protection and exemption from military service and those who would be burdened to pay it were exempted from paying it. Furthermore, certain groups, such as Christian monks who dedicated their lives to worship, were even exempted from paying the jizya, showing the flexibility and fairness of the system.
In contrast to modern taxation, where everyone must contribute regardless of their role in society, Islamic law recognised the unique circumstances of different communities and adjusted its requirements accordingly.
The Jizya was used not only for the administration and protection of the state but also to provide pensions and social services and support for those in need, including the elderly and disabled non-Muslims. This practice ensured that non-Muslims were not only protected but also cared for, reflecting the Islamic commitment to justice.
“O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm for Allah, witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just; that is nearer to righteousness.” (Quran 5:8)
The positive effects of this system can be seen during the time of Umar ibn Abd-Alaziz, poverty was wiped out, justice was deeply woven into the society and the animals were fed with the surplus food and wealth as they were seen as also a part of the responsibilities of the Caliph.
There are numerous historical examples of Islamic leaders advocating for the rights of non-Muslims. For instance, the scholar Taqi al-Din famously negotiated with the Tartar leaders to secure the release of both Muslim and non-Muslim prisoners of war, demonstrating that Islamic justice extends beyond the Muslim community.
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To learn more about Islam visit: howtomuslim.org
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mellowscrolls · 1 year
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I’ll bite! Tell me about your Dragon Cult headcanons :0
Okay! Dear God, let me go find my notes spread over like ten different documents (exaggeration)!
Alright, so starting off, I'm going to throw in a disclaimer that this is lore built off of Metallic and Liches' works and headcanons all given a new coat of varnish as I scoot my plagiarism ray out of frame. I'm going to throw it under a read more for clarity and the sake of everyone.
TW for manipulation, cults, mutilation (non-graphic)
Starting with the ancient hierarchy, I have it go somewhere like: Alduin > High Ranking Dovah > Konahriik > High Rank Dov's Ruling Priest > Low Ranking Dovah > Their Ruling Priest > Wooden Masks > Acolytes (unmasked) > Divines Clergy > Everyone Else. Technically Akatosh/Bormahu was supposed to be/was advertised as the top of that chain, but that didn't work out so much in practice.
Within the cult itself were a few key customs. Let's start with the masked priests.
Dov have one masked priest each to handle the politics and mortal affairs of their Junaar (kingdom). These masks are made of precious metal or material and can be made custom to the specifications of the dov who requires them. There is one Masked Priest per dovah who earns one, and that internal hierarchy amongst the dragons means that your status and what you are in charge of may change very frequently depending on your dragon's social standing.
It is a great honor and a great burden to be chosen for the role of a Named Masked priest. Masked priests are given names by their dovah, usually approved by Alduin, in a naming ceremony that erases their mortal name from living and recorded memory. Only the dov bestowing the new name may remember the old, and to keep a copy of the name in physical form is considered a great insult.
In preparation for a naming ceremony, priests are usually imbued with "blessings" by being carved with (or even forced themselves to carve) Words of Power into their skin, which are then imbued with power and bound to the priest-to-be's soul by their dovah. These enchantments are binding to the soul in a way that can either slightly shift their personality to favor the nature of the word or can make them a completely different person, at their dovahthuri's discretion. These blessings are extremely hard to sunder and cannot be harmed by the person they are upon unless directly ordered by their dovah or Alduin. (Most of the carving part of the headcanon was pioneered by @metallic-scaled-scarf with Nonvul, go check them out)
Under the Masked priest within their own Junaar was usually a group of attendants ranging in number from about 3-5. They are the Wooden Priests, wearing wooden masks in the style of their Priest, symbolizing their un-named and un-blessed status. They were not allowed to speak, but were usually able to communicate telepathically as a sort of hivemind while still maintaining most of their original personality. Masked Priests were always chosen from their predecessor's pool of Wooden Priests, so there was a long-term competitive nature usually fostered within their little group. Any Clergy below the Masked and Wooden Priests went without a facial covering and could communicate freely. When converging in Bromjunaar for moots, the Masked Named priests would trade their masks for wooden ones to hear the words of Konahriik, as both a gesture symbolizing equality as well as silence before the words of the Mouthpiece of Alduin.
In global politics, mer were much more unlikely to ever make it to the rank of Masked Priest, with the Falmer treated as slaves and prisoners of conquest while the Ayleids and Chimer were treated as highly tenuous allies at best. Dragons did not usually care for their priests so much as use them as tools of communication and politick. A Masked Priest was very regularly simply a new game of chess to start with the other Dov as one would vie for another's power, land, or status.
As for individual Headcanons, or how I write my dragon priests, I will make another post in the near future.
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negobeauriva · 5 months
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The Windows95manifesto: In defense of Finland's performance for 2024
Happy first rehearsal week everyone!
The first wave of rehearsals is done, and with it, we have gotten a wave of comments about the performances. Some filled with praise and approval, but some others completely hateful and rude. And today I'm going to talk to you about this second kind of comments about one of this year's controversial entry: Finland's "No Rules!" by Windows95man (Teemu Keisteri) ft. Henri Piispanen.
Many people have said that this entry is a joke, or that it doesn't deserve to be in Eurovision because it's distasteful. But here I am, in defense of uniqueness and weirdness, not only because this entry is in my top 5 this year, but also because it's important to understand what "art" is about. Here's to all the "weird" Eurovision entries that have been called unworthy of stepping on stage because they've been misunderstood.
A special shoutout to @/tottakaibi on Twitter/X because she gave me one of the pointers for this article in particular! And she's constantly in the lookout for Teemu and Henri's projects.
Without further ado, step in and enjoy the read.
No Rules! is, undoubtedly, the most distruptive entry this year - the nudity, fast-paced music and unique mise-en-scene, all make for an entry that many have deemed nonpalatable or not artistic. But behind every art display, there is a story, and I'm here to tell you a little bit more about it.
To start, the staging of No Rules! refers to the Kalevala, a book of finnish folk poetry from the 19th century that contains the myth of creation: Earth was born from an egg, with the shells forming both sky and land. Goddess Ilmatar, mother of nature and creation, soon realized that whatever she touched would grow and her every move was an act of creation itself. And so, she gave birth to Väinämönen, the first man to ever walk upon Earth.
Teemu arising from an egg is a clear reference to the Kalevala myth of creation, and he's even referred to it in some way in a video recently posted by UMK, in which he tells the tale of how Windows95man was born and Henri, in the figure of an eagle, becomes his friend so he can walk on the rule-burdened Earth without caring much for the impositions. It's both a mythical reference and a song of liberation: to not care about what others think and what others say to live freely and happily. To disregard societal "rules" in order to pursue happiness (this, of course, in the sense that you shouldn't care about "neat" or "appropriate", and not about the lack of order).
This song has also been called an anthem of liberation for LGBTQ+ members: No Rules! refers to the absence of gender norms ("Quiet, as I speak / I am the king, I am the queen" // "Is there something wrong with the way I look? / Is there something wrong with who I am?") and to live your life expressing yourself in the way you deem the best fit for you. As an agender person who's constantly told what to wear, what to say and how to act, this song is very meaningful and close to me. It makes me feel a bit better about my identity.
Now, to the point that interests you the most - how can No Rules! be considered an artistic performance, with the disruptive elements that make many shriek in disgust?
Let's begin with this - art is subjective and it's meant to make you feel something, whether good or bad. Art is meant to move something inside you, to make you question things. Have not many artists in the past made paintings about poor people's lives to protest poor living conditions or to showcase how hard it was to get on by? To many, art forms like paintings and sculptures that we now consider artistic were once considered scandalous or distasteful. This is the exact point of this performance.
In a recent documentary called "No Shame", Teemu referred to this - the point of his art is to appeal to disgust, to weirdness and to what makes you question what's tasteful or not. Shock factor also plays an important part in modern art performances. It's about going into the raw parts of your psyche and make you uncomfortable.
Teemu has been a visual artist since 2008, under the name Ukkeli. Vibrant colors, strange outfits and drawings, uncovered butts as part of his art installations and the message "No Rules" as one of his oldest mottos (not surprising, considering that in an interview he said he grew up with hippie parents that were very permissive) are the main features of his work. It's reminiscent of early 2000's adult animation shows, who also had a big shock factor and were frowned upon back then.
In this appeal to weirdness resides the charm of Windows95man's performance - in making you feel uncomfortable and weird, you're proving the exact point of the song. You will be bitter about how Finland could've "sent something better", but that won't change the fact that Teemu and Henri were chosen by his people because they understood the art beyond the shocking display. They understood what living with no rules means, to embrace weirdness, to embrace unique, and not care about what others say. If it makes you feel happy, who says that you're not allowed to like or pursue it?
Let's take a look back - Go_A's Shum, who was also catalogued as weird due to Kateryna's bewitching voice and vocalizations, made it to 5th place with no problem in 2021. Zdob si Zdub & Advahov Brothers' Trenulețul 2022 got to number 7 in 2022, after being called disruptive noise, and Konstrakta's In Corpore Sano made it to 5th place even when it was called creepy by some. Mama ŠČ! by Let3 made it to an impressive 12th place last year, and 3rd place in Dora this year with their strange Baba Roga.
If every country sent the same cookie-cutter type of "safe" song to Eurovision, the contest would be very repetitive and monotone. Let's face it, the public loves unique, loves something that will blow your hats off for three minutes and wondering what happened. They love songs that go off the "normal" standard because it takes you for a trip and makes you jump off your seat. It's no wonder that, in contrast with No Rules! getting so much hate, along with Doomsday Blue (another of the misunderstood entries, reduced only to its wrongly called "satanistic" character), 5Miinust and Puulup seem to be favorites this year, along with Joost Klein, who is rumored to win. People either love or hate weird and unique. Sadly, Finland got the worst end of the stick, and I think that's very unfair.
There's also the double standard, many think that it's inappropriate for Teemu to show up in nude-colored underwear, but they had no problem with female contestants in revealing outfits in previous years. Here's the thing - it's either okay for everyone to wear revealing outfits, or it's not. The argument that 2022's Chanel is given a pass to wearing revealing clothes because "she's a sexy girl speaking about being sexy" is invalid. Beauty, much like art, is subjective. And I do think that Teemu is very beautiful. He is allowed to wear what he wants (of course, according to EBU's standards, and they seem to have approved of the performance as is) and you don't get to say what's tasteful or not based off an aesthetic standard settled in sexism.
To finish this off, let me sum up the most important points of my mini-essay: No Rules! is an artistic performance because it's disruptive, it has elements that refer to Finnish myths and it's a liberation anthem that is meant to reach all those who feel like being themselves is wrong, to make them forget about this world's standards for three minutes and remember that the only person they need to please is themselves. As such, this song accomplishes its goal perfectly and beautifully. To call Teemu and Henri's performance a joke is to bypass every element of its artistry and to insult the artist standing on stage. Finland chose them, and so we must respect their decision and refrain from sending hateful comments.
I do think that we need to keep high hopes for this performance. I know that the two of them will go beyond everything we know and expect and will blow us all away when the Semifinal 1 comes in May 7th. After all, Henri's vocal skills have improved greatly since UMK, and Teemu's charisma can only grow by the second. These two have everything to go far and to show everyone that sometimes, all you need is to not listen to your surroundings and act as your heart commands.
Sometimes, the only rule is no rules.
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fatuismooches · 1 year
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I don't know if you write about Tsaritsa but... Do you think you can write a Tsaritsa x fem reader? There is not enough fanfic about her 😭
HELP ANON I don't write for the Tsaritsa (yet) because there are not even crumbs for her, there are only microscopic particles 💀 But just for you I will whip up some stuff for her and her lover 😌 Now that I've typed I realize some of these are just general but pls bear with me lmao
I like to think Tsaritsa was good friends with the other Archons in the beginning, before all the Khaenri'ah stuff happened. Venti even pranked her in the past. So after she cut contact and isolated herself from everyone she probably gets sad and lonely from time to time, wondering if what she's doing is truly the right thing. If you haven't met the other Archons she will tell you some stories about them. If you have met them, presumably because you have been with her since the beginning/for hundreds of years, she will still get nostalgic and bring up old memories again. Tsaritsa's methods and tactics can be heartless and cruel but... she still is the God of love. She misses who she was before she had to take on this incredible burden. You have to comfort her and hold her during these times. She values any kind of comfort. She appreciates you greatly for sticking by her side despite her sins. Wanderer mentions that love is another form of sin. She may view her love to you as a kind of sin, or something she doesn't deserve, so she will make sure to treasure you greatly. You are afforded the best in like... everything. I could elaborate but just think of anything you want of the highest quality. If she can't get her hands on it, one of her Harbingers will.
Sorry but you are not leaving Snezhnaya. Tsaritsa is very fearful of losing you after what she's been through. If she lost the only person she has left she doesn't know what she'd do. She has made an enemy of the whole world so your safety is very important. If you were ever hurt or wronged by the divine/Celestia it would only harden her resolve to take them down for good. After she takes them down, I think she would want to step down from her Archon role. Her job is done and her people can live freely now. Delulu moment: You two would disappear and go live a peaceful life somewhere else. She would change her form so no one would recognize her and then you would introduce her to the way of life of an average married couple.
Speaking of, sometimes she likes to change her form to go out among the streets of Snezhnaya. She really does care about her people. She's just gotten bad at showing it ever since she started the Fatui and their missions. In her changed form she likes to observe the happenings of her nation. If she finds out there are unresolved conflicts going on, she'll make sure the Fatui deals with it. Tsaritsa also has a nice singing voice. She likes to sing to the kids too and listen to their stories. And she sings to you too of course. Lullabies, mostly. When she finally returns she will tell you all about what happened. Of course her skin is very cold. It has never bothered her but it probably will catch you off guard quite often. So Tsaritsa wears longer clothes so you can cuddle her without getting too cold. She doesn't mind if you sit on her big throne. She thinks it's cute. If you're brave enough to sit on her lap during a Harbinger meeting that's up to you. Obviously, you are owed the same respect as Tsaritsa herself. Even the Harbingers know not to upset you. Though if you want some friends they're the best choice. Tsaritsa doesn't mind as she thinks very fondly of them.
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dinums · 7 months
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Secrets and Broken Hearts
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Chapter 4
Thomas Shelby x (Writer) Reader
"I am a woman in love, I wear my heart on my sleeve and smile with not a single thought. I am a woman in love, happily content to where I shall be and where I shall go, as long as I am with him."
Authors Note: I made this story with not much thought, but I wanted to portray the reader and Tommy living their separate lives to have you, readers, have a gist on what its like, to make the character, Ms. Bennett feels real. I don't really know if that makes sense or if I'm doing it correctly, but please enjoy :)))
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Two days and six hours, it's been exactly two days and six hours since I've started this investigation that I burdened myself with. All I've been getting are bits of information from the men and women. Women loved to gossip, so much so that they became one of the sources of said information. These missing wives, they had nothing in common with one another. They were just normal working women before they got married and settled down. What would society even do with them? I feel like a jester, juggling my social life together with this secret double life. I never really got used to such taxing activities mentally. This whole investigation, could it be some murderer? Human Traffickers? Surely, this culprit had a motive, a reason, something these women had that they wanted, something these women can give, choice or not.
"Why does everyone call you by your last name?" Andrew suddenly asked, which made me look over at the small child playing by the racks of clothes in William's shop.
Tilting my head, I seem to not know the reason behind it either. Andrew is the son of the man I visited to get close to have more information about the missing wives rather than relying on gossip alone. The child himself was quite entertaining to be around. He spoke so freely about his mother, telling stories of how loving the woman can be.
"Well, if you want, you can call me by my first name," I said with a smile. Walking over to crouch down to his eye level, I gave him a pat on the head, which earned me a smile in return
"Isn't this a sight, hm?" I heard the familiar voice of William from behind. He was at the back with Catherine earlier, presumably sorting out fabrics and dresses.
"C'mon, I've only offered to let this little guy stay here while his father worked, for the assurance that nothing will happen," I said softly though assuming from their reactions, it wasnt taken quite kindly. The statement itself was considered a lie. I lied. Lying straight to the face of the man I love, like how I would every day to everyone, including this child.
"So you don't want me here... Ms. (Y/N)?" Andrew asked me, his face looked sad, eyes like melting glaciers about to fall.
"Of course not, I just meant that I couldn't risk you being alone without your father, even though -"
"So you care for me.. right?" The little child said, hopeful, which made me think, how can he care about my feelings towards him in such a small amount of time we've been together? Children truly are innocent, things to be kept safe from the world we live in. Furthermore, care. To care is to help, a genuine action done out of the kindness of one's own heart. I do that, correct? I think for a moment, my actions, words, and emotions all contradict one another. Both men in the room seemed to take notice of my silence, which in turn made me aware. Aware that they can never know these thoughts, to Bury it, to hide. Breaking from my thoughts, I smiled at the child.
"Of course I do, but later your father will pick you up, I'll have William stay with you since I need to go for a bit, yeah?" Standing back up, I walked over to William. He then wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning against him while I looked back at Andrew. Understandingly, the child nodded, which made me smile.
"Eh? Where will my heart go? Guess she'll leave me alone once again..." William joked, kissing me on the cheek, which made me chuckle.
Seeing the display of affection, the child grimaced and then ran off to play somewhere else, which made me and William laugh.
"I promised you a date. Therefore, you must let me go for a while to prepare," I giggled. Going to dates on Friday was kind of like our tradition, a simple act to show love and to feel it radiate from each other. Feeling his lips on mine for a brief moment, I smiled.
"Alright, I'll pick you up at our place," William smiled. He's always such a loving man, doing more than beyond.
"See you later, love," I said, parting with a kiss before I headed out. Love was something I wasn't familiar with, which sometimes led me to be confused on how to act around William, though lucky enough that he guided me through it.
Walking down the street, I'm greeted with familiar faces. Some I can't remember the names. The smoke filled air, and the mud on my shoes did little to dampen my mood. Suddenly, people started to run about, screaming and shouting.
Confused, I slowed my footsteps. There, on a shop, a lifeless man was dead with Danny holding a bloody knife. My eyes widened, I tried to move, but nothing came out, I held my breath, and though I investigated crimes like this, I never saw a man dead right in front of me. From this day, I'm sure I'll never get used to this.
Someone passes by me, but it can be considered more like shoved. It was Thomas Shelby. He went over, took the knife from the man's hand, and calmed him down. The scene deescalated just as quickly as it happened. Once Thomas got Danny to go away, coming with some surge of confidence, I began to walk towards him with his hack turned to me.
"Mr. Shelby..?" I said softly as to not startle the man, whipping his head back, he looked at me without uttering a word, he simply raised a brow which I took as a cue to keep going.
"What will happen to Danny now..? He just -" stopping myself to look at the dead body in front of us, he followed my gaze and just shook his head. Taking a cigarette, he lit one up and placed it on his mouth, blowing the smoke in the corpses' direction. "Mr. Shelby, I worry for him and his family.."
"Don't stick your nose into others' business, saves you the trouble, eh?" He said, as he was about to walk past me. He took my hand and gave me a few quids, which caused me confusion. Was this for my silence? Though that seems rather odd since a quarter of the town already saw what happened, or was it so I'd stop with being so nosy?
"For the bread."
"Bread? What bread?" I asked, my brows furrowed as I looked up at the man. The more he acted, the more he perplexed me. Seeing his face, he tilted his head as if he should be confused
"You dont remember, again?" I shook my head, remembering what he gave me moments ago, i tried to have him take the money back, but he refused, saying he already gave them, so it'll be no use. In the end, he walked away and left me be, confused, I placed the coins inside my coat pocket before walking home. What did i forget again? No matter what I have other things to do at the moment, I need to get the memory of the dead body out my head.
After preparing for my date, at eight o'clock sharp there was a knock on the door, I smiled and opened it. William appeared with a bouquet and fresh smile, I'm taken back to memories when he was still courting me.
"Flowers for the beautiful lady?" He asked, which I gladly took. Holding up his hand, I held them. I locked the door, and we began to walk towards the pathway to a small restaurant.
"Thank you for this, for everything, Will," I said while we kept walking hand in hand.
"Then I should thank you too"
"For what?"
"For letting me love you"
"Then, you're welcome."
With that, we spent the rest of the day together, I told him about what happened earlier, and he's told me of stories he heard and so on. Everything feels nice. It feels like home as we both made it out to be.
...
That night, Ms. Bennett was content with her lover. Everything played out perfectly. She lived a good life and was happily in love. Maybe fate can say the same for the man she bumped into earlier as he's inside the Garrison, enthralled by the singing Barmaid before him. Surely both Ms. Bennett and Mr. Shelby will live their lives with love found in someone else's eyes.
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definitelynotnia · 8 months
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sorry i have to rant or i will cry i hate when im so angry that the anger comes out as tears
tw: random guy being a general asshole abt lgbtq and trans ppl so if you dont wanna deal with that today, cz ik there's already enough hate literally everywhere online, then please save yourself from this burden and move along, i hope u have a nice day bcz if i cant then someone should
i just spent my whole afternoon arguing with this guy- it was such a waste of my time i haven't slept properly last night and i wanted to take a nap but my nap time is GONE i hate this i told him im done with this conversation and that i dont give a shit about him enough to want to educate him on things and have him change his opinion i TOLD HIM IM DONE i told him that he can keep his opinion shoved up his ass and as long as he doesn't bully people i dont give a shit i was READY TO GO TAKE MY NAP but nooo this bitch is like "just say you've run out of valid points" like BITCH NO.
i can't have valid points to counter you with because all the points ur giving me are utter bullshit like how the fuck am i supposed to reply to "ppl assigned male at birth wearing skirts and make up is worse than war" like WHAT???? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF??? ARE YOU INSANE? what the fuck am i supposed to respond to that with? except that trans people aren't hurting anyone and war is, and he's like "at least war can be contained, these people are spoiling the mentality of the youth" like YOU ARE THE SPOILED YOUTH not the other way around, im like listen if you were really pressed about children and how trans inclusivity impacts children then you would have at least read more about that but if your first point is only "they're doing surgery on children" then clearly you have not even done as much as a simple google search so we both know that you just heard that in some random reel and went with it and you dont give two shits about the supposed 'children being made to undergo surgery', which they're not, and all you actually care about is looking cool and edgy by hating on the lgbtq community because thats whats in trend right now in india. he's like these people are too privileged why cant they just shut up and enjoy life they are rich like first of all rich people can have problems too??? also being able to afford therapy and gender affirming care does not equal to rich thats like saying if someone in ur family has any chronic illness ur automatically rich like ??? also poor people are trans too? and im so sick of these ppl thinking being trans is just an american thing or a first world problem like brother no? you are literally living in india trans people are mentioned in the FUCKING SCRIPTURES are u KIDDING ME? being trans is not a new sudden occurence its been there for longer than you have. like literally after 2 hours of conversation the only points he could think of to hate on lgbtq for no reason is
they are rich and privileged so they shouldnt have problems
if they have a problem with their gender they should keep it to themself and not fight it (??????)
they are running from their problems (they are literally solving the problem thats the part which everyone is mad abt its when trans people try to solve the problem by being okay with expressing themselves freely and to counter i said that even alcoholics are running from their problems ive never seen any of u andrew tate cocksuckers ever make a "joke" bullying alcoholics he's like thats different like literally all his "points" are him just saying whatever and then if u try to explain it with logic he'll be like no but thats ok bcz i said so and this is wrong bcz i said so like fuck you dude)
they shouldnt have rallies and stuff because there's more important things like war that the government should focus on (he was the one who said "war is a beacon of peace there cannot be peace without war" when i had first mentioned that its ironic that out of all the bad things happening in the world rn LIKE war the biggest thing he's worried about is a "man" wearing a skirt but ok sure now all of a sudden war is a big boo boo and we should all be focusing on that, so basically when he wants to hate on ppl war is irrelevant but when a marginalised group wants to fight for their rights that time war is the most important point and no one elses suffering is valid bcz there is war)
it is spoiling today's youth (im not even gonna talk about this because i do not see how people living their lives and just existing is considered "spoiled" and "corrupt" but people regularly hating on, bullying and degrading a whole ass community just because they are uneducated swines lacking critical thinking skills and a spine that saw some 'famous' youtuber or influencer or wtv or maybe a reel with 'dark humor' dissing on lgbtq and pronouns and 'blue haired girls' and now they thing they're oh so cool and edgy and dIfFeReNt and "not like those woke snowflakes" just cz they degrade and bully a whole community of people every chance they get)
im so done im SO DONE with this bullshit its EVERYWHERE its a trend now to be hateful and mean and an asshole to anyone who isnt "normal" according to heteronormative standards. i understand not having an opinion, to some extent ok i get it you're young you don't need to be involved in this yet but no, they want to have an opinion but they will do no research they physically shudder at the thought of reading a book and god forbid they actually google up a trustworthy article to confirm some of the bullshit they believe they will do none of this but they will scream and shout about how lgbtq is the problem and magically that is the only "social issue" they care about and they care soo vehemently apparently that they have to post about it and make dArK jOkEs about it and use slurs and degrade them every chance they get because THEY are harmful yes sure you who are actively spreading hate are the angelic saviours of society and a community of people JUST EXISTING are the ones that are harmful, right.
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inklessletter · 1 year
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I Love, with capital L the ride or die soulmate bonding relationship between Steve and Robin, especially since it is a common hc that they care about each other so much and so freely. And I know that it's canon that they're best friends, and that they've probably got the best chemistry together in the whole show.
This kind of relationship is amazing.
However, I've been thinking that maybe nine months is not enough time for them to cut their chests open.
Robin is a closeted lesbian that needs to survive Hawkins.
Steve is a boy that is reshaping his life because everything he thought to be an undeniable truth needs to be questioned.
The only thing in common between them, at first sight, is the utter failure of love life that they both have, so they stick to it.
They are each other's confidants, they have no boundaries in that matter, they know everything that's going on in each other's life.
I just don't think that after the Russians they spilled their deepest insecurities beyond the lack of love life.
I don't think Robin would tell Steve right away how profoundly empty she feels because she has to lie to everyone about who she is, even to her family, in order to survive. How frightening it is to live in fear, keeping a secret that is a basic feature of yourself, and feeling everyday, as she says once, like her life is a big error.
I don't think Steve tells Robin right away the void Nancy Wheeler left in him when she not only called him bullshit, but it also took her a few days after leaving him to actually thrive in every way. I don't think Robin knew right away how much of a waste of space Steve feels, a burden to everyone else, how much of a disappointment.
I don't think there were love words after the Starcourt event.
I think there were plenty of love words after Vecna, though.
I like to think that they were at the hospital, with a friend in a comma, another friend's body rotting in an alternate dimension, and a hurt but still very much alive dark wizard that would take any opportunity to destroy any of them, and they're alone in the bathroom, and that's when it happens.
They'd say "I love you" to each other.
They'd apologize, they'd cry, they'd repeat that they love each other a million times over, that they're each other's other half, that they're sorry they didn't say it sooner because they might have been killed without actually having said it. They would kiss their hands and their hair, and hug until it hurts, because if it hurts it means they were alive.
Not everyone had been so lucky.
To me, the aftermath of Vecna is where this ride or die Platonic Love Stobin really begins.
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mainstoryarchive · 1 month
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Ensemble - 98: Courage
Subaru: Alright! Changing finished!
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[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]
Location: Outdoor Stage
Subaru: Alright! Changing finished!
Are you also all done preparing, transfer student?
Wow, our unit outfit also suits you really well.
The girlish outfit you wore before was also really cute. But it'd be bad if your real identity were found out.
But you're also wearing the male outfit really well.
You went out of your way to make the unit outfit, right?
You're already completely used to sewing! It's awesome considering there were only a few days until the DDD.
Now the only thing left is to put on a mask… right here ♪ Now the transfer student has been reborn into the unidentifiable 'mysterious idol X'!
To make sure your real identity won't be found out, it'd be better if you speak as little as possible. In other words, you can't sing.
It'll bring all kinds of trouble if it gets found out you're not an idol but a producer.
You did practice performing, but in the end you could only prepare hastily. You're just here to make the numbers, so for the time being I'll take care of the stage somehow.
And then while we are buying time, the others… Hokke, Sari and Ukki might come back. That might be a bit too much hopeful thinking, though.
I can stand on stage for now, thanks to you.
I'm happy with just that. You gave hope to me when I was giving up and was feeling down. Thank you.
Only god knows whether we'll advance or not. Let's do our very best, let's go!
The first round of the DDD… our first match will start soon. Ahhhh, it's do or die!
It's the first time in my life that I'm actually scared to stand on stage!
Is the unit Trickstar's supposed to compete with not showing up yet?
Well, we'll win by default if our opponent doesn't show up. We'd be living the easy life if that actually happened.
There are supposed to be exactly enough outdoor stages to fit the number of units.
We were doing training in a soundproof lesson room till the last minute, weren't we?
We were in a big hurry trying to find a stage that wasn't occupied yet and had to come to this corner of the school!
I wonder if any audience will even come to this remote place. In the first place, is it alright for us to be here?
This stage wasn't suddenly canceled to be used, right?
(If you don't reach a stage within the prescribed time, you fail. You'll lose by default. That's why we searched for one in a hurry, but…)
(The outdoor stages in better locations were already taken by other units.)
(We used up a lot of time to just find an unoccupied stage!)
(If Ukki were here at a time like this… He'd research this and that on the net, which would have saved us a lot of trouble.)
(And if Hokke or Sari, who are good at planning things like this, were here… We wouldn't have had to be all over the place like this.)
(Can I… No, can the transfer student and I really win through the DDD?)
(I realized again thanks to being separated. I realized just how much I was being saved by everyone.)
(They are the reason I could freely perform without having anything to worry about.)
(But to prove I wasn't just a burden to everyone. To prove I didn't only cause trouble for everyone.)
(To prove that I can protect Trickstar. I will protect our place to be, so that they can come back whenever!)
(Even though it isn't guaranteed that everyone will come back.)
(If we keep winning through the DDD, if we shine at an even higher place! I'm sure that everyone else will notice us!)
(Seeing as how they're so kind, I'm sure they'll think something like 'I just can't leave them alone' and they'll come back!)
(That's why we are here! So that we won't lose our shine, the transfer student and I are here!)
(Because nothing will change by getting depressed and looking down!)
[ ☆ ]
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The thought that scares me the most is that someday I will die and every little thing in my life will be gone. All the homes I lived in, the clothes I wore, the toys I played with, the things I’ve collected, the places I’ve been, the people in my life who I grew to know, the material items that I grew an attachment to, any books, posters, jewelry, family heirlooms, photographs I took, videos I recorded, stories or blogs I wrote, social media posts, texts or emails I’ve sent, phone calls I’ve made, voicemails I’ve collected or saved, etc. all of it will someday be gone. People die, memories fade, things change, items that might have been important to you are trash to others and they get tossed, data gets erased, places get torn down and rebuilt or changed to beyond recognition and nothing remains the same.
Ancient quotes I remember are: ‘Nihil Morte Certius’ which means: ‘Nothing is more certain than death’ and ‘Omnia Mors Aequat’ which means: ‘Death makes all things equal’.
The scary thing is not that I will die or I will lose everything and any proof of my existence will be incoherently erased from time itself. I’m scared, sad, depressed and bitter over the life I have and how I single handedly am not allowed to live it freely and without burden before it is taken from me. I have spent my entire life up until this point working hard for what I haven’t already earned yet. I’ve almost quite literally saved and worked non stop my entire life to make myself happy, achieve my goals and be the person I’ve always wanted to be but yet I haven’t done anything and I’ve gotten absolutely nowhere.
The best but only way I can really explain this is: life is a beautiful blue sky with black void beneath where death awaits below. We’re all on magic flying carpets or rugs going through life until we disappear down into the black void below when we die. Some have nicer rugs, some have bigger rugs, some bring their rugs together with others, some rugs are luxurious and some rugs are simple little mats. Some rugs go fast easily and some rugs have to go up, down, left and right avoiding obstacles and struggling to get by. Everybody has rugs built by others until they become independent and then they separate freely to go off on their own. If someone’s rug doesn’t grow correctly, they try and go off on their own and they fall and die or they struggle to have a smooth flight and have lots of turbulence. I’m on a rug that never got finished and I can’t fly on my own so I’m stuck hooked onto others. While sometimes that is fine, in my case I think it’s bullshit and unfair. I had a chance to grow and be independent but I had to stop taking care of my rug at a young age and I took care of someone else’s rug who was supposed to be taking care of my rug and helping me be the best person I could be. I then started fixing my rug again and ran into other people who needed help with their rugs so I just took them on too. I spent so much time working on other people’s rugs that I never worked on my rug so I ended up being behind everyone else and still riding on the rugs of the people who helped me stay up. I never got to become independent. Then eventually others would come, they would help me stay up, promise to help me fly in my own and I’d detach from the rugs I was previously on and I’d start to build my rug a new. But if I ever build my rug wrong or too fast or not according to the plan of these new people, they would torch my rug or threaten to rip their rugs from underneath mine and let me fall and die. So I just did what I was told. Again, Over time I’ve met others who I genuinely love as my family, and my rug flies to help them stay flying too because at times they can’t fly alone and at times we help each other fly safely, but there’s still a big part of me that is sinking far down and someday I might fall. I’ve gotten rid of most of the people who were holding me up and most of the people I have left are those who balance the load and we all hold each other up, but my rug isn’t my own. My rug isn’t how I wanted it, it’s not what I like, I don’t see it as my own and i have nothing unique about it that makes it mine. I want to take it, tear it apart and rebuild it from scratch making it stronger and steady, so that I may not only fly myself but continue to help others and they do the same for me but if I tear too much of my rug apart I will fall below and disappear. I can’t put all my weight onto other rugs because that is far too much of a burden (especially in this economy and life) the further I go on this rug I didn’t build myself, it’s falling apart strand by strand beneath me. So regardless if I fix it myself or I do nothing about it all, eventually it’s going to slowly dissipate beneath me and I will fall. With age, every rug falls more and more slowly. with depression, stress and anxiety, rugs go thin and fall apart. My rug is already past its peak age and it’s slowly declining. My rug is so worn thin and full of holes from depression, anxiety and mental, physical, and emotional abuse and attacks from others. My rug is not my own and I feel like every day that passes, I’m just a stranger sitting on a rug I do not want to be on. I want to build my own rug, i want to make my own choices in its crafting and yes I like flying my rug helping others and receiving help from others, but I want to I want to fly my own rug knowing it’s mine and I’m proud to have it; regardless of what it looks like or how different it may be.
This might be a stupid analogie, it might not make sense to others and it could clinically diagnosed or cured with medication. I don’t want meds, I don’t want to mask who I am. I don’t care if it’s weird, I don’t care if it sounds crazy. My life, is never getting to do anything I want to do and now I don’t even know what I want to do anymore because I don’t know who I am or what I would have wanted. I’ve never had the opportunity to grow and be my own person so I have no idea where to start. On top of that, I’ve never had a real relationship with someone who fully understood me or who tried to love me above and beyond but I’ve done everything within my power to go the distance for those who ever needed me. I’ve had so many people hold those cliché “MAN” stereotypes over my head telling me certain ways I should live, talk, act or be because it’s what MEN should do. I’ve been told I’m not smart enough, strong enough or good enough many times so I try to change myself to be exactly what I should be and then I always come short of expectations and it kills me because I work so hard to fill the model of what I should be while I spent my entire life telling others how amazing they were because they were like butterflies: unique, special and beautiful just for being themselves; because I never wanted anybody to ever feel unwanted, unloved, or unvalued… like how I felt. So now I’m here living a life that’s not mine, filling the shoes I’m in because I’m here and comfortable enough to just stick it out but I’m not happy or sad. I’m not sad enough to change, but I’m not happy to actually enjoy life but I know something is seriously fucking wrong and I wish I had friends to freely talk to without worrying about them being worried or hurting their feelings by expressing my own (which has been a problem with every single person I’ve ever grown up with). I just want to disappear. I could live my life but for how long and how long would it take me to get there? I could enjoy my life for what it is right now, but what am I enjoying? The choices, the places and decisions others have made to make this life what it is now?? Everybody always says never to settle because settling is wrong yet everyone says not to be so unhappy or stop searching for happiness and enjoy the little things in life otherwise when you’re old you will regret it and wish you would have enjoyed the good time while you could. I don’t know what to do and I’m still trying to find myself. I just don’t know where to start, how long I have to stay up or if I’m strong enough to do this.
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soft september
Hi Ana,
Today I want to write you something different. I know we're both in places of longing at the moment, which I would love to blame on whatever retrograde astrology girlies are focusing on this month, but I think every emotion and craving we're currently feeling right now are purely reminders of our being human.
Let this be an exercise of vocalising things we want. This is a safe space. The world is a safe space. I don't know what happened that convinced us otherwise but I remember being so young and open to feeling. Open to just accepting love and care with open arms. Embracing everyone and anything that shows any interest and shares insights into our lives. This has never been limited to lovers. It was from every single person who wanted to be our friend, who wanted to get to know us, who wanted to spend time with us to connect and understand.
So today I choose to be honest about the things I want. I am in tears as I write this because this is one of those rare moments when my heart frees me from the emotional constipation.
#1 - I want clarity.
I don't want to be afraid anymore. I want to be able to go up to Ben and just tell him, what do you want from me? You're a decade older than me and I'm scared. We have been seeing each other for a little over three months now, talking for four (because I took my sweet time before meeting up with him) and I'm scared. I don't think he knows me well enough for labels but I have a feeling it would truly break me if months down the line, we figure out we're not even on the same page. I want to be able to see or not see B, N or even S with complete transparency, and knowing where I stand.
#2 - I want peace and security.
This one I try my hardest to keep. I want to be able to live freely without worries. Being an adult is hard. Being an adult completely independent is even harder. I am so grateful that I get to live in Australia separate from the burdens of being with my family, but it continues to give me such anxiety. Every single day I have to work hard and bet on myself, all chips in. I just need to keep going at it to have all the resources I need to survive and I will be able to reap the benefits of my hardships. I just need to be patient, while continuing to be strategic with my choices and actions.
#3 - I want to be rid of shame.
I need to be kinder to myself, especially because I know how much I do to advocate for my dreams and my needs - but some days, how difficult it is to be okay with where I am currently. I know I shouldn't but sometimes I truly feel so much shame as a 28-year-old who cannot drive, does not own property, has no partner, and a very uncertain future in Australia (with visa rules and guidelines always changing). I constantly need to remind myself of how far I've come instead of focusing on how much more I have to go, but it's not always easy. I associate so much shame in not achieving what I want in the timeframe I have set for myself, but if we're being honest - who even really cares about that? Why am I giving into societal pressures my high-achieving asian ass was conditioned to succumb to? My journey is mine and mine alone, and it can be however long or short it has to be. I try every single day - some days harder than others, but I try nonetheless. And there's no shame in that.
#4 - I want love.
Lastly, before my openness expires, I'll let you hear it here first. I want love. I am trying my best not to picture R when I talk about the l-word but the acceptance we had for each other was so deep, I can't help but look back at it. I have completely let go of that era, but I am also so thankful that it happened. Every single thing I went through with everyone I've ever loved in the past decade (and probably throughout my life) has created my concept and understanding of love, that today I can describe with full certainty the kind of love I want. I want a love that is certain of me, a love willing to grow with me and hold my hand throughout my journey, a love that keeps me accountable but also understands that some days I will be imperfect and not feel my best, or not make the best choices. I want a love filled with passion, but also with respect for the things that make me me, and the things that I advocate for. I want a love who believes in me and my goals and dreams... A love that hopes with me and works with me because we know tomorrow can be better. A love that can appreciate the present with me and look at the past with gratitude instead of longing and regret. A love willing to explore new things with me but also know when it's time to be still and rest. I want a love I am happy to choose, and that chooses me in return. And most of all, my deepest desire -- coming from a girl whose parents were completely wrong for each other -- I want a love that lasts.
What a time to be soft. Happy 1st of September.
Tabitha
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rinpastel · 7 years
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watevermelon · 4 years
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Just Enough | Diluc (Genshin) x Traveler!Reader
✧ Summary: Between freeing Dvalin and pursuing the Geo Archon, you were constantly moving forward to find your brother with hardly a second to look back. You were in a rush to find your lost sibling, not realizing how your heart had stopped in Mondstadt. Visiting the city while waiting for things to die down after Rex Lapis’ death, you return to a… jealous Diluc?
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➳ Spoilers for the Dark Knight Hero quest and some of the manga background ➳ Notes: lots of fluff, slight angst and jealousy, character development, mutual pining at one point, a long one-shot that covers the (1.0) beginning of the Liyue story  ➳ Navigation
---xXxXxXxXxXx---
If he had only asked you to stay.
To say that these past few weeks were a blur would be a severe understatement. For months you were simply a lost wanderer, traveling from world to world for any sort of clue that could lead you to your brother.
And in just a matter of weeks you were suddenly Mondstadt’s hero.
From bringing peace to Dvalin’s heart to meeting Mondstadt’s infamous Dark-knight hero, you were familiarizing yourself with a people and a place for a world you knew you did not belong to. Learning of the history of the Seven Archons, the Gods’ of contracts or of freedoms, suddenly you were being thrust into it all at once.
You shared the burden of knowledge with a few of Mondstadt’s elite, the true God of Freedom walking in plain sight to the citizens of his nation. And with him, were the quick allies you found side-by-side when fighting a dragon. 
It was all happening so suddenly and Lord Barbatos himself was giving you directions to the next country over, to continue on your journey in meeting all seven Archons to Liyue. 
To this day, you could fondly recall your final celebration in Mondstadt.
“To think that despite his small stature he can drink so much.” Kaeya commented from his seat at the table, eyes slid in the direction of Venti at the bar next to you. You could see the impatient stare behind Diluc’s eyes, not at all happy that their God was indulging himself so freely.
“Honorary Knight, Mondstadt thanks you for your service.” Jean formally stated, for the nth time since Dvalin had been freed.
“I’m just glad I was at the right place at the right time.” You answered back, offering a placating smile in return.
“Humility doesn’t pay for dinner!” Paimon hmphed next to you.
“But aren’t we at a feast now?” You countered, gesturing to the table. 
She sighed again before moving to get a taste of some of the honey roasted ham. “Fine, don’t blame me when we have to settle into that poor excuse of a tent!”
“Please, do not feel you are in any rush to leave.” Jean offered, “You are welcome lodgings at our Favonius Headquarters.”
“With the other Knights of Favonius?” Diluc asked, face completely blank if not for the small upward tilt of his left brow.
Kaeya flirted with you from across the room, uncaring of the other partygoers, “You could always stay with me.”
You laughed lightly and responded, “That’s a hard pass.”
The Cavalry Captain simply shrugged, offering it to you again if you changed your mind before grabbing another glass of wine and walking with Jean toward the busy table.
Barbara was trying different dishes and offering some to her older sister, spouting descriptions with medicinal purposes and flavors that compliment one another. Lisa was no better as Amber egged both of them on, completely sober as she continued to feast on the food laid before her. Other Knights of Favonius that you recognized were scattered about, enjoying the first truly peaceful night in the past few weeks.
“You are welcome to stay at the Dawn Winery, while you look for your brother.”
He relished in the sight of your smile.
“Thank you, Diluc.”
That was three months ago.
And since then you had been thrown into more of not your business but suddenly IS your business, business.
You remembered your last day before setting off from Mondstadt. The Knights of Favonius would surely call on you again and so you had quick goodbyes with Jean and Kaeya the day before. Venti was saved for last, a somewhat light-hearted and yet somber goodbye as he was the first and last person for you to see in Mondstadt. 
But Diluc… How could you even start that conversation?
He was the lone wolf with a prickly reputation and an even worse sense of patience. You remembered the first time you even spoke to him, clipped words meant to get straight to the point. Not to mention that he was the first person to antagonize Kaeya, who was one of the few people you kinda trusted in the beginning.
It was not until the side adventures, the little quests you did one-on-one that you realized how much more there was to the edgelord that was Diluc. 
Of course, he was still the strict type to focus solely on the mission. 
But you realized more about why Diluc had come to be this way. 
‘The uncrowned king of Mondstadt.’
As you worked together against the possible abyss invasion of Mondstadt, you poured over strategies and testing of his slime potion. And while slimes were not the hardest enemies to fight, he still complimented you on your form and appreciated your quick style with the sword.
You had a unique style, unlike Kaeya or anyone else of this world.
“Elegant, but deadly.”
You took that as a compliment.
And little by little Diluc opened up to you, cluing you into his personal history. 
He and Kaeya were step-brothers, growing up together at the Dawn Winery. How he knew Jean since he was child and once served as her superior in the very organization he now despised. How he still has things to protect, to avenge. And while his description about what happened to his father was nothing more than a quiet stare, you were still grateful that he was entrusting you into his world.
You remembered Kaeya’s words as he discovered Diluc’s nighttime secret:
“I’m glad you’re working with an assistant.”
Kaeya’s tone may have come out scathing, but you knew better. Kaeya and Diluc used to be close, close enough to entrust their lives with one another. There was no doubt that Kaeya still cared about his brother, but with Diluc pushing everyone away….
Again, you were so appreciative that he chose to let you in.
When Kaeya finally left the bar, you turned to Diluc with a smile. “I think my work tonight earned me at least one glass of wine?”
That broke a small smile on his face, not the slight tilt on the sides or the wistful, far off look he got when he recalled something beyond your knowledge.
“Alright.” He waved over a nearby waitress, all of the customers tonight employees of the Dawn Winery. “Let’s take this up to the balcony, I’m going to close up anyway.”
“Oh?” Paimon’s squeaky tone somehow went up another octave in curiosity, “I just remembered I have to ask Venti something! Why don’t you two enjoy your date alone.”
She flew away before you could swat at her for her teasing words, blush apparent on your face. Diluc kept his flat face as he maneuvered things behind the bar, wiping at something before putting something in the below cabinet. 
To your surprise, he handed you a bottle and two glasses, motioning with his head toward the second floor. Charles was among some of the ‘customers’ tonight, taking his usual spot behind the bar as Diluc stepped out.
You followed him wordlessly, walking up the steps and out the second-floor door closely behind him. He pulled out a wooden chair next to the table outside, you taking the seat underneath the stars as he plopped down alongside you.
“I thought the stars here in the city would get overcrowded by the lights.” You admitted, “But they’re beautiful even here.”
“Yeah, they are.” Diluc agreed, making you smile before turning to him.
“You’re not even looking at the stars.”
The pyro-user simply smirked, before looking up at the starry sky with you. You relished in the moment, glad to have some time alone with Diluc. Many had commented that the winery owner was so elusive, missing from the bar weeks at a time and unseen within the city walls. And yet here he was, enjoying the crisp air and a glass of wine with you.
“Thank you.” You started.
“Shouldn’t you be demanding thanks from me?” Diluc asked.
You laughed lightly, “Yeah, cause I’m sure that the abyss mage would have totally kicked your ass without me.”
Diluc had that slightly amused expression on, looking a bit more light-hearted as he turned to you with a slight tilt at the corner of his lips.
You continued, “I mean, thanks for entrusting me with your secret.”
Diluc paused, looking you straight in the eyes, probably to gauge your honesty. And he would concede that there was nothing else there. You wanted to be his friend, the first in a long time to have approached him without your own agenda regarding either the winery or his fortune.
In return, he poured you a glass of wine and replied, “You’ve long earned it.”
“Thank you, Diluc.” You took the glass and felt your heart flutter at the brush of his fingers. “I’m glad I got to know you.”
“I’m glad you’re in my life too.”
He shot you another one of his genuine, millisecond smiles before pouring some from the bottle for himself. 
“Wine and not grape juice today?”
But he did not answer, instead eyes latching onto the rise of goosebumps on your arms. You could not help it against the crisp Mondstadt air, naturally feeling a chill at this time of night. Without a word, he shrugged off his outer coat, the thick black one he wore at almost all times of day, and rested it casually on your shoulders.
You muttered a small thanks as you snuggled into it. Diluc’s iconic dark coat, a complete contrast to yourself. While you wore a white dress with open sleeves and plenty of skin, Diluc wore black covering most of his body with the exception of his neck and face. Seeing it on your shoulders only reminded you of that fact.
“Don’t need you getting sick anytime soon.” Diluc stated plainly, as he returned to his seat.
You huddled into it more and replied, “Aw, Diluc cares.” Again, you were rewarded with another flat expression. “Or rather, if the events of today are to show anything, you’ve always cared. Just in your own, protective way.”
He slung an arm across the back of your seat, leaning closer before stating in a low voice. “Don’t forget that.”
Your eyes snapped to his, the both of you basically sharing the same breath in your close proximity. His scarlet eyes, usually a searing color when on the battlefield, looked surprisingly tender only inches from yours.
“You mean so much to me, Diluc.” You whispered back, afraid that anything above a whisper would punctuate this amorous atmosphere.
He slowly dragged his face alongside yours, stopping beside your ear and continuing in his low voice. “So do you.”
There was no stopping the shiver of anticipation that crawled up your spine.
You could feel the small smirk grow against your skin before he pulled off and grazed his lips against your forehead.
The expression on your face was practically begging him to kiss you. From the small lean in your side against his arm slung around you to the way your eyes slowly fluttered closed, it took all of his self-control to stop himself before he pulled you closer. He wanted nothing more than to grasp you by the back of your neck, relish in the way you melt against him. To kiss you now and tomorrow and maybe even the morning after at the winery.
Diluc had to remind himself that in less than a week you were going to be long gone.
He did not want to ruin this memory a week from now, asking what if and why. And so he settled on a simple kiss above your brow before leaning back in his seat, enjoying the moment he had with you tonight.
You were disappointed, but actually not surprised. It was a feat in itself that you were so close to Diluc in this short amount of time, it would do no good in pressuring him into anything else. But also, another more rational part of you, had to remind yourself that getting attached to the people of this world would only make it hurt more when you had to return home.
This was for the better.
But no matter how much rational thought Diluc used to push you away, you were sure that you had already fallen for him. From the small interactions with Diluc, you could barely recognize the moment that you were completely enamored with him. It was not during the first time you saw him fight or even the night he leant you his jacket. No, you feared it was much before then.
To think you had gotten attached to Diluc in such a short amount of time.
But then you had to say goodbye.
“Safe travels.” Diluc stated from behind the bar when he saw you enter on your last day.
You were not sure what you expected, a drawn out goodbye or a fore longed hug, but Diluc was still, well. He was still Diluc. And to see him re-erecting his walls before you left for your journey was a sad thought, but needed while the two of you were hundreds of miles away from one another.
But you would regret it if you didn’t say anything.
Instead you settled on, “I’ll miss you.”
The hopeful look in your eyes spelled out exactly what you wanted to hear back.
Diluc instead replied, “You fight good.”
“Oh. Um.” The hesitation was clear in your voice.
Was this really how you were going to leave things?
But with Diluc turning his attention back to the wine glass he was previously wiping, yes. It seemed that this was exactly how he wanted to leave it. Paimon scoffed, but said her own goodbyes before flying away.
“Goodbye, Diluc.”
Outside the tavern, you let your frown grow at that interaction. After everything you had been through together, Diluc complimented you on your fighting? Then said peace out?
“That was really lame.” Paimon commented aloud as she floated alongside you. You could not help but internally agree, but you had a whole journey ahead of you. At least the busyness of Liyue would keep you busy from dwelling on that conversation.
But as you said goodbye to Venti, the both of you stood in silence under the giant tree staring at the city. You thought about going back three times, to get a proper goodbye out of Diluc. But doing so would do neither of you any good, since it would only open more issues.
“No more questions about the other Archons?” Venti asked, voice surprisingly serious.
“Can’t think of anything.”
“None even of a certain… winery owner?” You could almost hear the smile in his voice.
You rolled your eyes and responded, “You’re such a little shit.”
“Hehe.”
You both continued to stare at the city, the marvels of its people and history within its high walls. To think Barbatos and Dvalin were finally free, because of your otherworldly intervention. Venti was truly thankful for you, and while he knew his words were on the more mischievous side, he knew that you understood.
Venti’s voice permeated the air. “Be safe in Liyue.”
You smiled back and offered him a tight hug, replying. “As always.”
To think that the same day that you stepped into Liyue, Rex Lapis was murdered before your very eyes. It was like the Gods actually hated you, having to rely on a Fatui to run away from the government officials hot on your trail.
Since then you had been working with Zhongli to prepare for a parting ceremony. From running around for certain types of Jade materials to singing to flowers, you were happy to take a second to yourself at all. You were afraid that trouncing around Liyue with a bounty on your head would do you no good and often stayed in the wild areas. Visits to the city were for necessities only, which often left you relying on the ever so truthful Childe or the mora-averse Zhongli.
More than three months after your initial departure to Liyue, you stepped back into the walls of Mondstadt’s bustling city, a commission nearby and you figured you were safe simply due to your reputation under the Knights of Favonius.
Venti was the last face you saw and the first face that greeted you, beckoning to join him for lunch. With your final commission of the day finished, you joined him with a smile and ordered some honey roasted ham.
You recounted some of the news to Venti, meeting many of the adeptus and how out of touch they seemed with the region. You described Zhongli from the funeral parlor who always felt like he knew more and played a higher part in Liyue (and you inwardly noted how Venti’s eyes lit up in recognition at the name). And also, Childe the Fatui Harbinger that had you on edge. 
“You’re hanging out with a harbinger?” Venti asked.
“Uh oh.” Paimon reacted.
“Well.” You remembered your last encounter with Signora. “It’s complicated.”
Venti paused before sighing, “Is he cute?”
“That’s not why!” You huffed back instantly.
“So he is cute!”
“And rich!” Paimon added, joining in on the teasing.
“Not the issue here.” You stated, “He saved me from the Millelith and helped me get into contact with the adepti.”
Venti’s mischievous smile from the earlier teasing turned blank, as if he was fully ingesting your words. “... Why would he do that?”
“Huh?”
But Venti quickly recovered, waving away the question and urging you to move past it. “Just thinking out loud, continue. What happened after?”
And so you recalled everything from then. How the soldiers followed you all the way up the mountain and how you had to defend yourself from people that were supposed to be on the same side as you. 
How there was someone out there with the strength to take down a God.
Venti laughed at you for like, twenty minutes.
After his laughter subsided, he held a hand over his stomach and asked. “They think you killed Rex Lapis?”
He took another look at your pouting face and laughed again.
It only made you scowl further. “I’m glad you think my supposed war crimes are so funny.”
“I think I’m missing the punchline again.” Paimon added.
“Hehe. You’ll be fine.” Venti shot back his mischievous smile, “Besides, I’m sure you’re looking forward to laying low here with a certain… someone here.”
You paused and put your fork back down, “What are you trying to say?”
“Well, the Dawn Winery is throwing a festival tonight.” Venti stated clearly, “Isn’t that why you’re here?”
“Wait, really?”
The mischievous light was back in Venti’s eyes, “I’m sure the winds of fate have brought you here purely on coincidence.”
You sighed and turned to him fully. “You trying to fight, old man?”
“Hehe.” His signature giggle, one you found almost endearing, was undoubtedly mocking you. “We should go together later.”
And true to his word, somehow you found yourself with the Anemo Archon heading over to the bar. To think that it was Venti who introduced you here and now he was bringing you along again.
That is, if you even had a chance to make it inside at this rate.
The area was packed to the brim, all the seats outside in front and on the side of the building already taken. There was a line out the door, many hopeful young women with gleaming eyes trying to get a one-on-one conversation with the current barkeep and owner.
You peered into the open door and saw Diluc and Charles behind the bar, the red-head adorned with his usual flat-expression. It was the first time in months since you had seen him, but he looked exactly as the day you had left. Still the same colored wardrobe and prickly atmosphere, Diluc was still, Diluc.
What did not help was the ever growing line of flirty men and women trying to vye for his attention.
It only seemed to further nail the pit in your stomach.
Was this… jealousy?
You didn’t dwell on the thought for long.
Instead, you considered for a single-second if you should just turn tail now, but Venti must have seen your hesitation and grabbed you by the arm to walk inside. Dozens of eyes followed you on the way in, many people recognizing you as the young hero of Mondstadt and honorary knight of Favonius.
The crowd was surprisingly less inside, but knowing Diluc he probably would have tried to corral everyone to the outdoor areas. Venti continued to lead you towards a table in the back and you saw a familiar red-bowed Outrider.
“I didn’t even know you were going to be here today!” She greeted you excitedly. 
“Tone-Deaf Bard here convinced us to stay the night.” Paimon replied.
“Oh?” Her voice lifted in a tone that only spelled trouble, “No matter, I’m glad to see you in one piece.”
“I’m assuming you’ve heard.”
Amber stretched in her seat and lowered her voice, smile turning to a smirk. “Well, I won’t confirm anything. But my suspicions are that the blonde person the Knights were pursuing for stealing the Holy Lyre may be the same blonde person running from the Millelith.”
“What a crazy theory.” Paimon responded as she cleared her throat.
“At least it’s just a theory, right?” Amber replied. “Anyway, we’ll hold the seats. Do you mind going up to the bar to order?”
Paimon chimed up as she floated down into the wooden seat, “Yeah, you should go.”
You barely had a second to object before Venti agreed and was motioning for you to go back to the bar. If not for their eager stares at you, you would have rolled your eyes at how obvious they were being.
“Fine, fine. I’m going.” You stated aloud, getting up from the seat you inhabited for at most ten minutes. 
Turning towards the bar, you took in a deep breath to collect your thoughts. To think you fought the Wolf of the North and Oceanid with more courage - it was just Diluc.
“Long time no see.” You greeted, trying to sound extremely casual. “Bottle of wine for one of your favorite people?”
Diluc looked at you for a quick second, then back down to the bar, then rapidly snapping back up to you in surprise. “Hey. Of course.”
Unsure what to say, you responded back with a simple, “Thank you.”
“Didn’t know you’d be in town today.”
“It was all coincidence. Venti told me about your event tonight.” You mentioned, motioning behind you to the table where the three of them were waiting. Amber waggled her eyebrows in response and you turned back to Diluc in embarrassment.
But he was looking at you the entire time. “For a war criminal, you look well.”
“Ugh, not you too.”
“Ironic how you delinquents always return here while hiding it out.” Diluc did not answer, instead openly teasing you.
Honestly, it was a little ironic that you and Venti ran here after stealing the Holy Lyre, just to end up back here while the Millelith were on the hunt for you.
Instead you replied, “They didn’t release any names.”
“Right, it’s probably some other sword-wielding blonde with white clothes and access to the Anemo vision.”
“Obviously.”
To think you were so involved in Teyvat's politics. An otherworldly being with no prior connections to the people or nations was somehow involved with the highest ranking people of every country you’ve stumbled into.
Everyone from the Dvalin team knew about your primary objectives: to find your brother and regain your full power through the seven Archons. And when news of Rex Lapis’ death reached Mondstadt, Diluc could almost physically feel the dread in his heart that something had happened to you. And when the Millelith released their man-hunt of your exact profile, there was no doubt that you were involved. 
To see you standing before him, in association with an Archon of all people, it was like a breath of fresh air on his heart. You were here in the tavern, fine and even enjoying the night. 
A large part of him wanted to ask about your journey, what was it that had you on the run again? But with the growing line out the door, he knew he barely had time to keep this conversation going.
So instead, Diluc grabbed glasses and a bottle of wine from beneath the bar and asked, “Spare a few minutes for me later?”
You nodded quietly, handing him the necessary Mora before returning back to the table.
Amber did not pull her punches, “So, you guys dating yet?”
You almost dropped the bottle, but Venti was quick even through his laughter.
“Yeah and I’m the Archon of Snezhnaya.” Paimon replied sarcastically.
“Shut up.” You pouted, “It was just nice to see each other after all this time.”
“Oh so you had a good conversation? Did he ask you to stay after? Are you going to stay the night? Did he offer for you to stay at the Dawn Winery?” Amber spit out question after question, not a sense of patience or tact in her words.
Venti was still laughing like the Archon of assholes he was.
While they prodded through their multiple questions, you tried to wave them away to another conversation topic. If Amber was prodding you like this, you could only imagine that the other Knights, such as Kaeya and Jean, were also aware of your strange relationship.
Amber tried to push it a bit more, but you were able to spin the conversation to ask what the others were up to. It was interesting to hear about the little tasks in Mondstadt, small commissions that the Knights take care of in the city as well as guarding the areas further out into the country.
And while you hated to drift off with them sitting right in front of you, your mind often wandered toward the red-head behind the bar. Diluc had personally asked you to stay back later, undoubtedly to speak to you about something one-on-one. Would it be cowardly if you left early? Would the others notice if you tried to make a break for it at one point?
Again, it seemed as if Venti was capable of reading your mind, lightly calling you to attention and putting a casual hand on the back of your chair.
He was not letting you get away from this.
Venti even shifted the conversation to you, asking about Liyue and the local adventures you had while in the city. Unable to ignore the direct questions, you told them about the stories of the people you met so far and the strange events you seemed to be dragged into.
“Wait, start over.” Amber cut into your most recent story about a ship just outside of the Liyue city. ”You just glided down onto the Pearl Galley?”
You paused then replied, “Well. I mean the ship was just sitting there outside the harbor and I was curious.”
“And so you boarded a luxury ship without an invitation?”
“Yeah, so?” Paimon answered with a question, genuinely confused.
“And yet you wonder how you keep getting involved in all these crazy schemes.” Amber answered ambiguously.
“Well, eventually I did get an invitation.”
“But after you were already on the ship.” Amber pointed out. “How did you even glide that far out?”
“I climbed to the top of the nearby mountain and then just dropped down.”
“Wow.”
“Is it really a surprise?” Venti commented, “She doesn’t even follow the proper stairs here in the city. Don’t think we don’t see you climbing over every wall here in Mondstadt.”
“You’re such a weirdo.” Amber sighed with a smile, “You’re lucky we love you so much.”
You continued on with your stories, some in the city and others within hidden temples deep in the wilderness, puzzles and timed traps masking treasures you sought to find. Amber and Venti listened on in rapt attention, asking questions here and there and even teasing you about your constant climbing.
You hadn’t even noticed how the bar patrons were starting to slowly thin out.
The night with Venti and Amber was such a refreshing feeling compared to the nights you spent staring up silently at the night sky, only Paimon at your side. It was nice to hear and speak to other people, to not be on the run and always looking over your shoulder.
Feeling a light tap on the side, you turned to see Diluc standing at attention.
“Hey.” He greeted you again.
“We were just on our way out!” Amber exclaimed, standing instantly with Venti not far behind her. “Mondstadt’s star Outrider has to be up bright and early tomorrow.”
“Which is why you’re both leaving…?” You asked.
“It’s my duty to ensure the safety of the city and we said we were going to discuss something.” Venti answered ambiguously.
You crossed your arms, “Discuss what?”
“The— !” Amber paused, “The thing. You know, with the stuff at the Seven Winds Temple.”
“Right! Let’s get going.” Venti turned to Paimon at the last second, “I think this will interest you.”
Paimon winked at you before turning to Diluc, ”Right, the stuff!”
Diluc motioned you to follow him and so, once again, you found yourself following behind the Pyro-user out the second-floor balcony. However, instead of sitting at the table, you learned against the railing while Diluc stood to the side.
“Wasn't expecting you to be gone for so long.” Diluc started with a flat voice.
You turned to him with a slight grimace. “I’m sorry, I ended up getting caught in something important back in Liyue.”
More important than him.
The implication was quiet in the back of Diluc’s mind.
But that would always be the case. To think that the first person in years to open up his shell was someone who could only be in his life temporarily. You intrigued him to the high heavens - the strange mix of both pride and humility as you fought and carried yourself. You were strong, but merciful. Kind, but a purveyor of your own brand of justice.
It had been a while since he met someone with such genuine reservations as you.
But your time together was already ticking down, from your time in Mondstadt to your time in his world. You were looking for your brother and who knew if he was even in Tyvat currently? It would be unfair to be bitter towards you. And so he resolved long ago to simply cherish the moments you had together.
So instead of snapping back, Diluc teased you.
“I’m sure. I’ve heard of your extensive… wanted days.”
You sighed aloud, “How did the news travel here so fast?”
Diluc smirked, “First Barbatos and now Rex Lapis? What kind of luck do you have?”
“The worst kind.”
Of course, there was something he wanted to learn more about. After he had caught wind from Katheryn in Liyue, Diluc still wanted to be informed about your current situation. To think that you were in close association with one of the high Fatui Harbingers after Signora personally attacked you, it was almost like you were openly inviting trouble.
It also did not help that many of the gossip mills included how attractive this particular Fatui was.
He goes by the alias of ‘Childe.’ Young, but deadly!
A Fatui, but doesn’t wear his mask - for good reason! He’s quite the looker.
I wouldn’t mind if he impaled me somewhere. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Needless to say, his sources did not alleviate his worries.
Of all people? A Fatui was one of your close associates in Liyue? A party of him wanted to snarl, the thought a worse downgrade from the Knights of Favonius. At least he knew Kaeya would do you no harm; he doubted the same could be said about Childe.
Archons, why did he care so much?
Diluc told himself multiple times that your abrupt parting was necessary to keep himself from getting too attached to you. But it hardly mattered when he was worrying this much anyway in spite of that.
Fuck, why did he just let you walk away like that?
Diluc was not going to make the same mistake.
He turned to you and asked, “Like the Fatui kind?”
You sighed, “Believe me, I don’t like it either.”
“And yet somehow here we are.”
“It’s complicated, okay?”
“When is it not with you?” Diluc asked, more hypothetically. And while from anyone else, it may have felt offensive, you could tell from his tone that it was just a tired sigh.
“Tell me about your journey.” He continued.
“What?” You answered with a question, genuinely surprised. “It’s a long story, not all that interesting.”
Diluc took a step forward, taking the spot next to you against the rail as your shoulders touched. “I want to hear it from you.”
You couldn’t help but smile, “Okay.”
And so you recounted your journey to find the Geo Archon, how the adepti set up strange puzzles and at some point you swore you were pulled into a teacup that somehow contained a full domain.
There were also other missions on the side, other things you would do to collect Mora or materials if you were going to get any stronger. Some of them made sense — doing deliveries, clearing abyss camps, and other mercenary like duties. Other instances, not so much.
“Only you would accept a commission from a ghost.” Diluc teased as you recounted the treasure in the mines.
“In my defense, I didn’t think he was a ghost at first.”
“Right. Nothing suspicious at all about a transparent old man in the middle of an abandoned village.”
“I was reading the poster he was showing!”
“And when did you realize he was a ghost?”
“... After I met three other ghosts.”
Diluc cracked a smile at that, only making you pout more. You had adjusted your postures overtime, standing against with rails to your backs as you faced the tavern.
“He paid me good Mora!” 
“How…?” Diluc thought about it before waving it off, “Forget it. I don’t want to know.”
You laughed back before you saw the lights inside the tavern switch off, complete darkness in the windows as the remaining employees packed up and went home. 
“Oh wow, I hadn’t even realized how long we were out here.” You admitted, “I’m sorry I took up so much of your time.”
“Don’t apologize. I wanted to spend this time with you.”
“Still, it’s already late.”
“You’re right. Where were you and Paimon going to spend the night?”
“Honestly, I don’t know.” You admitted, “Venti convinced us to stay, but I don’t even know where he is.”
Diluc pushed off the railing to stand facing you, “You could stay the night at the winery. We can retrieve Paimon tomorrow.”
What game was he playing? Your disappointing departure with Diluc cutting you off and now he was asking for your time and space back into his life? You hated that he pushed you away just to pull you back in at his convenience. And while you understood his personality tended to keep people at a distance, you had your own limits as to what you could withstand. 
“... Diluc, what are you doing?”
“You’ll have to be more clear.”
You closed your eyes, trying to gather your thoughts and hamper down on your rising temper. “Come on, why are you being so nice to me?”
He stared at you expectedly, blank eyes urging you to continue.
It only served to make you more angry.
“Diluc, when I left you hardly blinked. And now that I’m here, after months of us not talking, you want me to spend the night?”
“I told you before how much you meant to Mondstadt.”
To Mondstadt? Not even to himself personally? 
You decided it was better to confront him cleanly asking, “Why didn’t you kiss me that night we were drinking here?”
Diluc paused, not a single hint of surprise on his face as you addressed the situation head-on. “Why should I have?”
“Don’t act like you didn’t feel it. There was something between us.” You scoffed.
He noticed your use of past tense.
“Does it honestly matter? You would’ve left anyway, I saved us both the trouble.”
You visibly recoiled in response. “Is that what this is about? I have to go to Liyue and the other counties, Diluc. I have to find my brother.”
“I know that.” Diluc cut in, before you got the wrong idea. “You don’t think I’m acutely aware of that fact? The fact that this is my home and not yours. That one day you’ll find your brother and I’ll never see you again?”
“Wait.”
“Believe me, I know better than anyone that you’re off to find your brother. And I’ll help you in any way that I can.” Diluc continued, not heeding your confused attempts to stop him. “But let’s not pretend like I was anything more than a stepping stone in your journey.”
“That’s not true!”
“Oh?” Diluc’s tone was almost challenging,  “It’s not? So once the dust is settled, if I asked you to stay here with me, would I be enough?”
You stuttered over your words, “I --”
“I don’t want to hear your excuse because we both know the answer.” He cut you off, “I was trying to save myself from that before it happened.”
“Will you let me speak, you idiot!?” Your voice cut through the silent evening air.
Diluc paused, standing a good ten feet away from you and looking angrier than you’d ever seen. But he did, thankfully, stop talking.
“Is it crazy to think that I feel the same way about you?”
“What?”
“Diluc, I’m just me!” You answered, “I have nothing to my name but an objective to find my brother — if he’s even alive at this point. I need to try and I need to continue on this path…”
He crossed his arms, but stayed quiet as he listened. 
“But just because I have so much ahead of me, that doesn’t I don’t care about where I’ve already seen.” You took a few steps toward Diluc as you spoke, “You mean so much to me and I wouldn’t ever want to throw that away.”
“You won’t have a choice if you have to leave this world.”
“If!” You pointed out, “Diluc you’re so worried about the future, about me walking away from you forever, but it doesn’t have to be this way.”
“And suddenly there’s an alternative?”
“There’s always been one, you idiot! You just never bothered to actually talk to me.” You put your hands on his chest, the light material of his dark clothes underneath your palms. “I would’ve tried. If you asked me to make this work, to come back to you at the winery back then, I would’ve done it.”
Diluc closed his eyes, taking in your words as his hands snaked down to your wrists.
“Don’t give me empty promises.”
“I mean it!” You defended, “You aren’t just another person, Diluc. I—“
He opened his eyes then, reflecting back to you as hopeful and curious. “You…?”
“I care about you more than you know.” You settled on, still unsure about the extent of your feelings. “Why are you giving up on us before even starting?”
You stared right back at Diluc, his silence paramount to the inner turmoil you were sure he was going through. From his late father to the betrayal from the Knights, there were plenty of reasons why Diluc was so hesitant to connect with other people.
But you’d be damned if you didn’t try.
Your hands felt heavy against his chest. Despite your small demeanor and even smaller palms, the weight of your hands seemed to play seesaw between his heart and mind. He had logical reasons to keep you at a distance, but here you were trying to carve your way through back to him.
It had been a long time since he cared about anyone like this. And Diluc could not even recall the last time he wanted to sorely kiss someone at all. But how could he not want to now? You stared up at him, eyes blazing with determination as you tried to convey your feelings.
“You mean so much to me.” Diluc stated after a few silent minutes, “Let’s make this work.”
The smile you shot him was wide and radiant, a private blessing that only he was gifted tonight. He wrapped his arms around your waist, eager to feel more of you — to envelop you in his arms and keep you within them tonight. 
One hand strayed upward, carding itself in your hair and pulling you closer until both your eyes fluttered closed. The soft skin of your lips slotted against his, an endearing frenzy to give one another tender pecks. You could not help the happy mewl that escaped your lips as Diluc licked against the crease of your skin.
Moaning aloud to his tender touch, Diluc was eager to explore every inch of your wet cavern. There was no battle of tongues, simply moving in tandem as Diluc dominated the kiss. You tried to maneuver to give him more access, but with your height difference it was the best you could do.
Diluc lifted one of your legs, wrapping it around his waist and lightly tapping the other to do the same. Eyes clouded with lust, you did as instructed and quickly felt the soft thump behind you, the wall of the tavern helping hold you upright.
You fell more and more into the passionate lip lock, pushing to match his intensity as Diluc connected you in one of the most intimate ways possible. One hand was still in your hair while the other continued its scandalized trail downward.
You prayed to Barbatos that nobody heard you outside the tavern.
The both of you would later attribute this impassioned frenzy due to the prolonged time apart and mutual pining (culminating in a mistake outside on the balcony, twice inside the bar, and the rest of the night back at the winery).
For the first time, you enjoyed the morning sun streaming in through the windows, a lazy arm strung across your waist as you snuggled in the chest of the man you were growing to love.
Diluc woke long before you, hand threading through your hair silently as he resolved to remember this moment. You kissed at the naked skin of his chest twice before nuzzling him, feeling the light arm pull you closer.
“Good morning.” You started, voice muffled against his skin.
But you would have never expected Diluc to be so affectionate.
He kissed the top of your head, murmuring in a low tone. “Good morning, my love.”
Nothing about your relationship was perfect. You still fought and cried like every other couple. But you both knew that what you had was real, willing to fight for it no matter the obstacles that came with the future.
It did not matter that Tyvat was not your home.
Wherever Diluc was, that was where you’d return.
---xXxXxXxXxXx---
Extra: “What if they end up fighting?” Amber asked the other two as they walked down a side-street of the city.
“Then we’ll find out the moment it breaks out. Trust me.” Paimon replied. After all, your Anemo power would only serve to make any fire larger.
“They’ve both been in that pining puppy phase for so long, I doubt it’ll come down to that.” Venti added.
“500 Mora says they’ll be dating by the end of this week.” Amber bet.
“1,000 that they’ll be together by tonight!” Paimon countered.
“10,000 that they’ll be joined in every way by tonight.” Venti added, the mischievous tone not missed by either woman.
“You tone-deaf bard!” Paimon exclaimed as she slapped her hands over her red cheeks. “The traveler is more dignified than that!”
Amber had a hand on her chin, “Dating? Probably. But more than that…?”
Venti held out a hand to both, vying for both to shake one and accept the bet.
Nothing, but a couple of suckers. 
Amber grumbled once when she heard the news, but otherwise excitedly congratulated you two on finally accepting your feelings. Paimon’s whine could probably be heard in a fifteen mile radius and Venti’s proud smile didn’t help either — accepting the easiest twenty thousand Mora he ever made. 
And, just to gode the tiny guide a little more, Venti turned to Paimon in the middle of her complaining rant. 
“Hehe.”
---xXxXxXxXxXx---
A/N:
The festival idea comes from Diluc’s story 1: “The winery holds festivities from time to time. These events are routinely attended by enthusiastic fathers, eager to introduce their wonderful daughters to the young and single winery master.”
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Draw your swords, pt. 13
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Summary: Terrified of losing Y/N, the Darkling lets his defenses fall.
Warnings: angst, slight fluff, sexual content
Part one // Part two // Part three // Part four // Part five // Part six // Part seven // Part eight // Part nine // Part ten // Part eleven // Part twelve  
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“Stay with me”, the Darkling trembled as he rushed back to the camp. He held her body close to his chest, her head slumped right where his heart beats thunderstorms in her name.
She’s slipping away, he can feel it. The injuries she suffered and the power she used weakened her irreversibly.
He should be angry with her, enraged, but he had no strength to spare for violent emotions. His heart couldn’t bare much more than the pain he found himself drowning in. It wasn’t the pain of his own wounds, rather the pain of her parted lips and ragged breaths that came like final gushes of air her lungs released.
“HEALER!” He shouted, hoping, praying to the Saints he never believed in before.
“HEALER!” There was something in his screams for help, an unimaginable pain behind it.
Y/N’s fingers twitched, her chest rising in a strange manner; what should expand with an inhale suddenly draws in, a paradox he had seen in dying soldiers.
“HEALER!” It was the kind of scream that went straight for the heart.
Everyone tensed, following the Darkling – a man who never showed genuine emotion other than rage. His call for healers felt like a cry from the heart and soul that stretched across the foundations of who he is. The anguish tore through him as he saw a healer run toward him.
Letting out a shuddered breath in relief, he collapsed to his knees. “Not me!” He growled as the healer tried placing her hands on him, “Help her! Save my wife!”
Nodding, the healer looked down at Y/N with wide eyes. Another healer arrived too, then another, and another.
The Darkling refused to let her out of his embrace as two of the healers tried to take her away. “No!”
“We have to take her”, the first healer insisted. “She doesn’t have long and we have to act fast and that’s not going to happen while you’re clinging to her!” Eyes wide, she covers her mouth as it dawns on her who she’s speaking to. “Respectfully, General.”
Staring at her with raw suffering, Aleksander licked his trembling lips. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to her temple instead of her forehead – forehead kisses in this moment would feel as if he’s kissing her corpse before her final rest. 
He couldn’t stomach that thought.
“If you die, I’ll never forgive you”, he whispers. 
This isn’t how it’s meant to be, how it’s supposed to be. He could never believe anyone ever loved anyone the way he loves her.
Nothing ever made him so frightened as the thought of losing her.
“Take her”, Mal tells them. Looking down at Kirigan who seemed incapable of standing back up on his own, he realized he had to take over.. “And send someone for your General. Send everyone for the wounded in the field.”
Aleksander looked up, jaw clenched and eyes swimming in tears he has yet to shed.
“I’m not leaving”, Mal quipped. “She’s my General.”
Y/N wasn’t able to scream, despite the pain darkening her mind. She tried to focus on her breathing, on staying alive. The only awareness she had was of Aleksander’s arms around her – she felt his scent. When he touched her face, when he tried to gain her attention, she couldn’t open her eyes. Her ears kept ringing, mixing with a rumbling inside his chest. She managed to blink her eyes open once, just one more time to see him, but all she managed to get was a glimpse of his chin and beard.
She wondered how he’d look without it, if it would make him seem boyish, softer. Maybe it would have erased the burden on his shoulders - they may be wide, but they shouldn’t have to carry all that weight alone.
Suddenly, his scent was gone. She tried to reach for him, but her arms could not move, hanging freely instead. Cold seeped in, clinging to her insides, wrapping itself around her heart.
Slowly, her agony had faded. The pain gradually lifted, dissipating like fog. For a moment, she wondered if this is what death feels like – no more pain? No more suffering? Being alone and cold?
Despite everything, if she had a choice, she’d embrace the pain. If pain means she would return to him, to his warm arms, she’d gladly suffer.
Dizzy, confused, she felt herself being pulled up into reality. The disjointed haze receded enough for her to make sense of the world around her. Her eyelids feel heavy as she opens her eyes, the edges of her vision flickering. Blinking fast, her eyebrows knitted as her vision blurred.
‘Aleksander’, she wanted to call, but couldn’t say a word. 
How odd it is that he’s the last one she thought about when she thought she’d die and he’s still the first one to come to mind when she wakes? 
She no longer felt cold. He always had the ability to keep the cold away.
Sniffling, she jerked her hands away as she became aware of another’s touch. Sitting up on a table she was laid upon, she pulled herself aside before looking to the one who touched her earlier.
“It’s just me”, he raised his hands in mock surrender. “I needed to see you.” His voice is soft, sweet like honey.
Scoffing, she narrows her eyes at him and the cup of water he held out for her to take. Her mouth is dry, her throat like sandpaper. She may be angry with him, but the water he held out felt more important than their fight.
“Are you in any pain?” He asks, watching her drink all of the water in one go. “I could have them come and take it away.”
Letting out a loud sigh, she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Raising an eyebrow, she licked her dry lips.
“Can they take you away?”
Snorting, he suppresses a smile. As long as she’s capable of annoying him, she’s going to be fine.
“What were you thinking?” Threading his fingers through his hair, Aleksander frowned. “You could have died.”
“Would have saved you a lot of trouble in the future”, she quips. Standing, she stumbles.
Feeling his hands on her waist, Y/N felt her heart skip a beat. Even now, when she’d like nothing more than to walk away, her body reacts to him. Looking up at him, she inhales sharply as she sees the tears in his eyes.
“I’m scared”, he admitted and she blinked.
“Of what?” She frowned, “Me?” Does her power frighten him? Because it frightens her.
He shook his head, “Of me”, he looked at her. His hands trembled as they touched her skin, “I’m scared of hurting you.”
“I’m scared of you hurting me, too.”
Dropping his hand, he takes a step back. “I don’t think I’m capable of ever hurting you.”
“Tell that to my neck”, she remarks. Her hand brushes over where his hand had tightened its grip just the night before, fixing his gaze on him. He seemed to regret it.
‘Good’, she thought. ‘I hope it haunts him, because it will haunt me.’
“I apologize”, Aleksander swallows thickly. He can’t remember the last time he apologized to someone. A part of him questioned if he ever apologized for anything he’s done in his unusually long life. “I had no right to act the way I did.”
“You once told me I could choose the way to punish you if you ever hurt me”, she takes his hand, intertwining their fingers.
Aleksander nods, “I’m a man of my word.”
“What’s your name”, she asks. “Real name.”
His eyes locked on hers like magnets of different polarities. Isn’t that exactly what they are? She’s his polar opposite in every way, fated to attract.
“Aleksander Morozova.” He uttered a name long forgotten; a name he wanted to forget. 
Aleksander was a weak boy who failed everyone that cared for him. He was soft, young, naïve and a damned fool for ever believing Grisha would ever be free. Even now as he elevated their status, Grisha had to serve a human – the Tsar.
Her eyes held barely contained anger. As her hands clasped, a few stray flickers of light appeared on her fingertips. Unclasping her hands immediately, she raised her chin up. “I want to know everything. Tell me your story.”
“And when will I hear yours?” Darkling demanded, swiping his thumb under his lower lip.
“You seem to mistake this for negotiations”, she maintained eye contact defiantly. “Last night you told me to either go back to the Palace or to cross the fold and return to my father. It’s a choice that would easily mean I can choose to stay with you or leave and never look back.”
Placing a hand on his chest, Y/N smirked. “You can either tell me the whole truth or watch me leave.” She spoke through gritted teeth, “Don’t push me unless you’re willing to lose.” 
Cupping his left cheek, she allowed a luminescent glow cast a light on his handsome features. She was angry, so angry and tired and her own power often terrified her. For once, she wanted to use it for her own benefit rather than hide it.
“What good will it do?” Aleksander’s bottom lip quivers as her light illuminates tears collecting in his dark eyes. “You’ll hate me as they all do. Even my mother saw me as a monster.”
“I’ve seen what you really are. And I never turned away…what makes you think I will now?”
She felt his jaw clench under the palm of her hand as he swallowed thickly, “You would if you could see my heart, all of it.”
Exhaling through her nose, she shook her head. Her eyes soften, her lips parting. How could she ever be indifferent to his suffering? She wished she could be colder, to leave him in tears and not look back. Hearing his words, his belief that he’s unlovable tugged at her heartstrings. 
"Have you no faith in me?"
In a fight, they’re lethal, but around each other their armor is gone.
“I’ve waited for you for centuries. I dreamed about you for hundreds of years before I ever saw your face. I longed for you, missed you, died and lived for you.” Taking her face in his hands, Aleksander bends. His forehead meets hers as his nose brushes against the tip of hers.
“Ever since I laid eyes on you, my dreams have been clearer, focused on you. And in my dreams I am kissing your mouth and you’re whispering ‘where have you been’”, his eyes overflow with tears as he continues with a fractured smile. “I say, ‘I’ve been lost, but I’m here now’.” 
Swallowing thickly, he felt as if his heart was breaking. “You’re the only person who has ever been able to find the real me. You saw me underneath all the darkness.” Reaching for her hand, his fingers tremble. “I was waiting for you without knowing it. I’ll make up for all the mistakes, for all the years I was supposed to be kissing you.”
“So why is it so hard for you to be honest with me?” She whispers, her hands trembling as they hold onto his shoulders.
His frown deepens, “Why weren’t you honest with me?”
“You once joked and said I’m no Inferni”, she shrugged. “You were right about that. My mother was. Father never knew about either of us. Your turn.”
“I was honest”, he sighs. Stepping back, he frowns. “I told you my name, I answered your questions about the black heretic.”
Reaching for him, she felt her heartache intensify once his tears began to flow freely across his cheeks.
“Don’t”, he recoiled from her touch. She wrapped her arms around her own waist, hurt by the rejection. 
“It’s not easy for me to talk about my past. It’s as if I’m cutting myself open, letting the ugliness spill out. It’s not painless.” Swallowing thickly, Darkling’s eyes widen as he tries to hold back more tears from escaping him. “It would have been simpler to close myself off and find an unremarkable lover who’d never dare defy me, but I keep taking the risk because I want to be with you and I hope that one day you will feel the same way about me.”
“I want”, she stopped, tucking her hair behind her ears. 
His voice was quieter, “What do you want? I’ll give you everything.”
“I don’t know”, she replied honestly. “I’m hurt, Aleks. You hurt me after you promised to protect me.”
Running a hand across his face, wiping his tears away. He averts his gaze. Watching her break because of him deepens the cracks in his poorly stapled, bleeding heart.
“What do you want”, she looked to him with a weight in her chest. How can loving someone hurt so badly even when the love is reciprocated?
“Never mind what I want”, he turned away. Facing her now would have chipped away at his fragile sanity, so he did what a coward would – he hid.
“You asked what I want”, she placed her hands on her hips. “I want to know what you want.”
Shaking his head, he let out a breathless chuckle. “You”, he smiled. “I’ll always want you.”
Closing the distance between them, she closed her arms around his neck. Before she could reach for him, he gripped her by her thighs and lifted her effortlessly. Wrapping her legs around his waist on instinct, she got lost in the rush of blood to her head when he pinned her against the table behind her. He paused, searching her eyes. 
Whatever he was looking for, she hoped he found it.
“I don’t own you”, his eyes flicker to her lips as she sinks her front teeth into the soft flesh of her bottom lip. “I never did. Human or Grisha, you always owned me. I was just too blind to see it.”
Brushing his lips against hers, Aleksander smiled in resignation. His eyes are so different in moments like these, softer than she ever imagined eyes could be.
“Your silver tongue won’t get you far”, she struggled to keep her eyes open with his lips a whisper away. “But you’re free to try.”
She felt his burning gaze, finding it hard to concentrate on much besides breathing. He observed her, capturing her soft, naturally charming and appealing nature. She’s genuine and sweet, the reason why everyone’s head turns when she walks into the room.
How did he not realize it before?
She’s the sun.
She always was. 
He always did squint angrily at her like he does with the fireball in the sky.
Y/N’s hands ran up and down his chest as her lips claimed his - passionately, roughly, determinedly. Without a word, she started to unbutton his kefta, her cold fingertips brushing his warm skin - until she lost patience and ripped the bottom part wide open, pressing her palm against his chest as he broke the kiss.
“Are you sure?” He raised his eyebrows in concern.
“I’ll be mad at you tomorrow. Kiss me”, she ordered, drawing a smile on his lips as she pulled him closer, her lips reattaching to his, her teeth sinking into his lower one.
Pushing him onto the floor, she didn’t waste time. Her bottoms were down so quickly he hardly had time to take a proper breath before she unfastened his pants too.
Heaving, Aleksander could hardly get enough of the view on top of him - her beautiful mouth opening in pleasure every time she sunk down on him, her eyes rolling back into her head, her hands placed over his chest to keep herself steady. She speeds up, prompting his loud, uninhibited moans that drew an honest smile upon her lips. He trusted up and into her as his high hit fully, taking her by surprise. She gasped, his thrust giving her an unexpected release as she clenched around him.
Gasping for breath, she laid on top of him. Y/N was very aware of his arm around her as it pulled her close, his hand on her hip, giving it a light squeeze. He leaned into her, his lips pressing a tender kiss to her temple, making her tingle with anticipation of something more - something she shouldn’t think about after their argument.
How can she trust his change of heart has nothing to do with the fact she’s the Sun Summoner? How can she ever trust him at all?
Clearing her throat, she pulled herself off Aleksander. “Put something on, someone might come in”, she told him as she secured her pants back on. She could hardly look at him, afraid he’d weaken her resolve. She couldn’t forgive him so easily, even if her heart ached for him.
“Let me in”, a voice from outside the tent made Y/N look to the entrance with a frown.
She crossed the distance swiftly, her hands ready in case she had to use her sword. She goes to place her hand on the hilt only to find her sword is not on her.
It’s a good thing that’s not her only weapon.
“Hey!” She shouts at the Grisha as they pulled someone away. “Stop!”
“General?!” Mal laughs as he manages to look back at her, fighting against the Grisha.
“Mal?” She chuckles, glad to see he’s still alive. 
“Leave him alone!” She orders, feeling a presence behind her. She didn’t need to look to know it’s Aleksander. Unfortunately for him, she wasn’t in the mood for anymore talking.
“You’re alive?!” Mal goes in for the hug, but his eyes catch a glimpse of Kirigan’s glare and he slowly backs away. “We need to regroup.”
“How many have we lost?” She frowns.
“You’re Grisha now”, Aleksander speaks up. “You don’t have to fight for the humans.”
Glancing over her shoulder, she scoffs at him. How could he even think she’d give up on her people now? 
“That’s not something I’d like. I enjoy my humanity.”
She was the flame who lit his life on fire and while he was burning, he wanted to thank her for it and ask her to stay a while longer. Darkling nearly chuckled at the thought of calling her fire, but she is and he craves the burn.
The Darkling wanted Y/N to be the one addicted to him, in equal measure as he was addicted to her. He wanted to give her a reason to stay with him, if not for love, then for lust. He’d find a way to her heart in the meantime and knowing they’ll have a forever comforts him, but he needed to have her in every other way until then.
He knew he could make her truly happy if she’d let him and he wasn’t about to let her go.
Not without a fight.
Watching her walk away with the soldier, he clicked his tongue. Mal, whoever he is, poses a threat he needs to handle.
Swiftly.
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A/N - I struggled so much writing this chapter, hope you guys like it. I’m probably gonna pass out now, I’m exhausted. xx
Tags: @bruxa0007 @rangotangomango @kaitlyn2907 @thestoryofmylife9 @shelivesindaydreamswme @hxrgreeves @safetyhtom @kaqua @savannah-elliott @all-art-is-quite-useless  @azure23x @girlmadeofavocados @ashdab2611 @acciorudolphx @ladyblablabla @wckedheart @xceafh @sanna2020 @tarkanelima-blog @takethee @mellifluous-cosmos @marvel-ousnesss @tea-effect @starlightofsolaria @p3nny4urth0ught5 @blackbirddaredevil23 @sarcastic-and-cool @slytherinsbiggestproblem @within-thehollowcrown @notthatchhavi @musicconversedance @freakytillthemoon @lgkoval @honeyofthegods @queenmalhinewahine @misselsbells06 @whatthefluffrichard @aami98 @britriestbr @itsfangirlmendes @padme-parker @readingsssssssss @runawayolives @thehighladyofasgard @emlynblack @keithseabrook27 @dailydoseofchoices @deceivedeer @olympiacosplay @pansysgirlfriend @extrakyloren  @daybleedsintonightfa11 @thoughts-and-funnies @weirdowithnobeardo @folkloresworld @remugoodgirl @yagorlemmalyn @gonehopelessgirl @fefethecoffeeaddict @naughtynecromancer @poison-of-the-ivie @strawb3rrydr3ss @supersouthy @theilliterateironman @evyiione @kimoranelson03 @wizardwheezes @woodsabby6 @liajiah @its-carlerrr​ 
PART 14
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cloudenthusiast2 · 3 years
Text
To be a human - Scaramouche x reader - Part 3
You knew committing to a relationship with Scaramouche would be no easy task but you loved him dearly and unlike others, you believed he wasn't evil. But as a mortal and the devoted protector of your village you were too much of a good person, too much of a human compared to him and your differences slowly start to show.
Previous: Part 2 Next: Part 4
Length: ~1000 words (??)
Trigger warnings: yelling, Scara being an asshole (so nothing new)
You stormed into your own house and threw your polearm far away from you. It landed on the other side of the room, loudly clattering on the ground.
You could hear Scaramouche's steps behind you but before he could've caught up to you, you flounced to the kitchen.
All you wanted to do is shut the door behind you but even then, something held you back from doing it. The great sense of justice in you didn't let you separate yourself from your lover.
It wanted to hear an explanation.
How actually desperate you were for one! Even though you were absolutely furious, you still really hoped he could clean himself in your eyes with some words. Yes, it would only take some words, one sentence or a half and...
'You runned of like a spoilt child.'
You bit your lips to lock them and keep yourself from screaming and yelling at him.
What were you even hoping for? It's Scaramouche, he obviously won't realise he hurt you.
With slow movements, you turned around to face him. You looked into his icy eyes and when you spoke, your voice was just as cold as his gaze.
'Dare to explain what happened?'
'Are you stupid? You saw it with your own eyes.'
'I meant your reaction' you hissed in fury.
His answer was to simply shrug his shoulders.
'I sent them away. You should be grateful I did that before you could've made the situation worse.'
'Say, Balladeer' you narrowed your eyes. 'What would you have done if it was the other way? If my people attacked yours?'
He didn't even hesitate.
'Kill them' he claimed in a way that said the answer should've been obvious for you.
You tried to remain calm as you asked him:
'And you don't see a problem here?'
He has been standing in the kitchen's door but now he walked inside, closer to you. His movements seemed kind of threatening but you didn't move back an inch.
You always turned a blind eye to the truth about him. It was time to face it.
He stopped a feet away from you. He didn't come closer to try and reassure you, he did it to make sure you heard everything he said well.
'Shall I be the one to break it to you?' He asked mockingly, his grin showing pity and despite at the same time. 'I think it's time you finally realise. That these people's lives mean nothing.'
'You can't actually mean that' you declared immediately.
Scaramouche laughed and his voice sent shivers down your spine - instead of making you smile like it used to do.
'You're so naive, it kills me! My dear, I knew you were attached to these people but I had no idea you actually take this thing so seriously.'
'What the hell are you talking about?'
Your harsh, freezing cold tone wiped the smile off his face.
He rose his hands and tilted his hat back a little to take a good look at your face. The previous, icy look took over his expression once again as he spoke.
'These weak mortals are nothing but dust coming from dust.' He said bluntly and you knew he meant every single word that came out of his mouth. 'Their lives hold no meaning. They born, reproduce then die in a spam of some years. Disposable garbage.'
'So' your voice shook as you tried to speak after a long silence. 'This is... what I am to you? Replaceable, disposable garbage?'
'What?' You had every right to be shocked but now he seemed surprised as well. He shook his head, the bells on his clothing violently clinking. 'No, of course not. You're obviously different.'
'Why?'
Scaramouche blenched at this simple question and quietly stared for a minute.
You were deeply shook. So many emotions were fighting inside you but all you felt at that moment was deep, incredible sadness. You gulped to hold back your tears and repeated the question.
'Why... would I be any different?'
'Well... because you belong to me' he finally answered.
'Scaramouche, you're delusional!' You bursted out.
You started laughing. Because you couldn't believe you actually thought he was a good person. Because you were hysterical and made a stupid pun since he literally had a delusion himself.
'I'm only saying the truth!' He barked irately.
'You're lying!' You snapped so loudly that he unintentionally took a step back.
Scaramouche has never seen you like this. So mad. So done. You were patient with everyone and never raised your voice at him or anyone else.
'You're lying!' There was so much power and anger in your shout that it actually took his voice away. 'Mortals aren't insignificant just because beings exist that are more powerful than them! Not a single human's life is worthless! They have hopes and ambitions, they have the ability to change the world around them, just like you do! They feel, just like you... should do.'
You glared at him in fury, fervid fire burning in your eyes. You let go of the chair you have been holding onto and stepped closer to him.
He stood there without moving an inch, even when you put your face close so to his, he could feel your warm breath on his skin.
'I don't know what happened' you whispered quietly. 'But something is clearly wrong with you. Just what happened in Inazuma?'
'I have no idea what you're talking about.' Scaramouche finally moved. He grabbed your arm and pushed you further away from himself.
He thought that way he'd finally be able to breath freely but the weight on his chest didn't weigh less, even like this. It should've been a warning sign but the growing annoyance and anger inside his heart completely blinded him.
'I always felt like this' he stated, not caring about the impact his words caused. 'You knew it, don't try to deny the truth! And you know that I'm right! Face it!'
'You're not!' You screamed back at him. 'I will rather die before I agree anything you said!'
'Oh, you are going to die indeed if you keep believing in those ridiculous views of yours, don't worry.'
The exact moment these words left Scaramouche's lips, he deeply regretted saying them.
His heartbeat dropped as he saw your eyes widen.
There was a short silence.
Then you spoke.
'Get out' you whispered, your voice dying away. 'Get out of... my house.'
He looked at you once again. Opened his mouth then closed it.
You looked... broken. And he knew that he wouldn't be able to just replace the pieces that fell out because of him.
But the freezing cold that surrounded his heart suddenly started to melt away as his dismay slowly turned into anger.
Why should he feel bad again? It was you in the first place who had ridiculous views, it was you who got sensitive when all he did was to just tell you the truth! You were in the wrong here, not him!
'Leave' you repeated in a shaking but determined voice.
'Gladly' he nodded and the corners of his mouth curved up into a mocking, sarky smile. 'You're doing nothing but a burden holding me back anyway.'
'I said, leave!' You rose your voice one more time, trying your hardest not to cry in front of him. 'And don't ever come back again!'
Scaramouche laughed as he turned his back on you.
'Don't worry, I don't intend to. But don't say I didn't warn you!' He added as he waved goodbye. He stopped at the door for a moment and looked back at you one last time. 'One day you'll come to your senses and all of your ideals will be shattered. Looking forward to it.'
Your tears blurred your vision as you watched him walk out on the door he not so long ago stepped in as your lover.
And now that you were completely alone...
You could break down.
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Heyy can I request a 3rd part for Zhong x mage reader where they hopefully realize their feelings for each other? Feel free to end it off & add as much fluff & smut if you wish (*^ω^*)
Thanks for waiting anon, lol I just realize that this was almost the same as the previous ask so I decided to do a reader's POV continuing from where we left off last time.
So please enjoy the fourth part in the In Pursuit of Series: 1,2,3
In Pursuit of Love
Summary: You fell in love slowly, unknowingly, and when you had realized it, your love for him had already sunk into the marrow of your bones.
--
1.
Falling back together was easier than the time the two of you spent weeks apart from each other. You found it easier to fall back to your morning routine with Zhongli around than it was to relearn how you lived before. And somehow the two of you had grown closer, more attuned to each other’s thoughts that sometimes there was no need to talk further. It was the intimacy of being known, and by the archons you were drunk on it.
You lived freely and happily, as if all the burdens you had were gone. With Zhongli by your side, it felt like the world had become brighter. Spending time with him, starting and ending the days with him became so natural that you didn’t notice what was already there from the start.
It stood to reason that you didn’t put much thought when Zhongli woke you up with his tongue down your throat or his hands groping your now exposed chest. It meant that when Zhongli took off your clothes in the morning, placing kisses on your neck and leaving visible marks on your skin, you merely thought he was just getting things started to transfer his energy for your continued survival.
It meant that you didn’t think much when you found yourself returning the favor, opening your legs for him, riding his cock early in the morning and not bothering to stifle your moans because Zhongli told you he liked hearing how much you wanted his cock, how slutty you acted when he thrusted his cock in your pussy until it was raw.
You had thought all of his words as dirty talk, not actually carrying any meaning beyond making the sex pleasurable for both of you. And today was no exception, you woke up with Zhongli’s mouth sucking on your nipples, leaving new bruises on top of last night’s marks.
Your pussy was filled with fresh cum and you could taste his cum on the back of your throat. You idly wondered how long had Zhongli been fucking you before you woke up, but such thoughts were thrown in the back burner when you felt his fingers tease your clit and toy with your cum-filled pussy.
“Nnnn!”
With a pop, Zhongli stops sucking your nipples and kisses you on your mouth, tongue entangling with yours.
--
“Good morning” He greeted you with a soft and gentle smile that was at odds with his lewd acts.
“Good morning” You greeted him shyly as you spread your legs wide, and silently asked for his cock. You wanted to be awake this time when he filled you up.
For someone who was fucking you for an indeterminate length of time, Zhongli had a lot of stamina. His cock easily penetrated you again, geo cuffs forming like an absent thought on your wrists as he went in and out of you. His cum acted as a lubricant to ease his cock as it filled you to the brim, stretching your walls and giving you a pleasant burn.
Your ample breasts jiggled from the force of being fucked over and over. Your pussy felt raw but even so you couldn’t help but want more, Zhongli’s dick had ruined you for everyone else. You were quite sure that no one would be able to bring you over the edge the way Zhongli did.
Your entire body felt warm from the lust and the odd feeling that came from Zhongli’s archon energy. Before you could even ask him about it, your thoughts were interrupted by the hard thrust of his cock that had your body arching and feeling the warmth of his thick cum.
Zhongli pulled out and let the rest of his cum shoot on your body, some landing on your face and open mouth.
“Good girl.”
You smiled at him sweetly.
2.
For some reason, it became a common occurrence for you to head to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor with a homemade lunch for Zhongli, on days when you had no case to solve or you had reached a dead end. Today was a latter kind of day, there were no breakthroughs on the Chasm case which Qixing was gracious enough to not hasten you.
Especially since they were aware that you had landed a life threatening curse on yourself.
So now that you had gotten used to spending your lunch time with him, it made you realize that everyone in the Parlor was already familiar with you. You no longer limited yourself to chatting with Hu Tao or the Ferry Lady when Zhongli was busy with his job. Which was odd, now that you’ve thought about it. For all of the claims of your genius and the surprising amount of time you spent with children, you were never good at people.
Or to be more precise, good at keeping people. Your relationships with everyone you’ve met had always been so-so, you could rely on them for information you need, or calling in for a favor but if you could never truly trust yourself with them. You don't know when to call people friends or how to keep the ones you make, you suck at maintaining relationships and the only ones you’ve been able to maintain are from people who are surprisingly stubborn or sticky.
Ones who didn’t mind that you never wrote regularly or you came and went through their life like a breeze of wind. They were people who didn’t mind rebuilding friendship again and again, assuring you in their own silent way that you were wanted and welcome.
Which meant that the present relationship you had with the employees of Wangsheng was an odd change, a welcome one, but odd nonetheless. This was how Zhongli found you, contemplating in silence, in his office.
“Are you alright, dear?” He asked, worry marring his beautiful features.
“Hmmm...yeah, just thinking” You answered with an awkward smile and a heavy feeling in your heart that you can’t quite explain.
“You don’t have to, you know” Zhongli said, reassuring you.
“I really don’t know” You joked with him.
“Talk to the others if you aren’t up to it” He explained and to anyone else it would felt like a slight, a terrible jab at your inadequacy that you never quite got the hang of.
But it was Zhongli.
Zhongli who willingly shoulders the gossip about your relationship with him, who cares for you so deeply that he can give you himself for an indefinite period of time, Zhongli who simply wants to stay by your side and thinks the world of you, who believes that you are good.
And that’s enough to take off the sting from the reminder of your flawed humanity, makes your body relax and you find yourself leaning into his hand that somehow made its way to your face.
You nuzzle into it, a show of affection that makes you feel embarrassed but the weight of Zhongli’s affection, this intimacy from whole acceptance and being known, was an addictive warmth that you feared losing.
“Thank you.”
You hope that Zhongli can hear everything those two words encompass.
3.
The changes stemming from your relationship with Zhongli, mainly this odd but welcome change of being connected to people, and staying in a place for a long while meant that inevitably you end up having a permanent address people can find you.
It was novel to you, the idea of a place being stuck to your name. You said as much to Zhongli, during one of those rare times he had no work and decided to be with you for an entire day.
“How do your friends write to you then?”
“They don’t or well they post a commission to the guild and I pay for the reward” You told him truthfully before recounting the first time one of your friends had done so and it had involved a high ranking adventurer, the guild master of the adventurer’s guild and ending with an entire map of Mare Jivari.
“What were you doing there?!” Zhongli had asked scandalized.
“I was curious and there was no known map of it, so I thought ‘huh? Guess this would give me a whole lot of mora if I did this!’ how was I supposed to know one of my friends would end up pregnant during that time and wanted me to be a godmother?” You replied, slightly offended and amused at the look on his face.
Which naturally resulted in Zhongli extracting a promise from you to never go to dangerous places without him, ever again. And he was so earnest and so seriously worried about it that your grin slid off your face and you gave him your word.
Which then resulted in you feeling slightly off kilter about it. The thing is you never thought that Zhongli would care for you this much, for all of the fucking and the tender moments between you two, you’ve always believed that there was a line somewhere.
A line that dictated the end of his care for you and the beginning of his indifference. It wasn’t that you didn’t believe he wanted to stay by your side, it was just that you’ve always thought he meant it figuratively like he wanted to be kept up-to-date with you when your curse is finally lifted.
Because the thought of Zhongli, coming along with your adventures, travelling with you leaves you just slightly, very slightly, perplexingly happy. It makes you grab his hand and intertwine it together, and Zhongli doesn’t mind, doesn’t care for this display of affection and instead encourages it.
He squeezes your hand twice, and gives you a smile that assures you that you are wanted. A part of you dares to hope that you’d find your home in this place, here with Zhongli and if not, you’re content with him being a place you can return to, a place of reprieve from the life of a traveler.
And this leads to your few friends addressing letters to Zhongli’s place, adventurers from around the world used as glorified messengers for your equally eccentric friends, sending packages or cases in your way. Sometimes, asking for advice or a consultation but more often than not, a mere teasing letter inquiring about your daily life and the new found changes they’ve seen.
“It’s nice,” You told Zhongli, in the middle of reading one of your letters, “having this regular contact with them.”
You don’t notice the way Zhongli pauses in his cooking, just to look at you and your soft fragile smile.
“You can tell them to send their letters here, and I can always go deliver them to you” He offered.
You laughed, thinking that he didn’t mean it but nonetheless happy with his kindness, “If you keep doing stuff like that, you might just make an honest woman out of me!”
And Zhongli says nothing beyond a smile, and you let the moment pass. Willing your heart to calm down and not letting yourself hope for too much, you continued to read your letters even though your mind often drifts off to Zhongli’s “offer”.
Later that night, as you laid in his arms, you began to wonder if the two of you had blurred the lines of friendship and something more.
4.
Sex with Zhongli was always fun and just as exciting as the first time you did it with him. As you haven’t found a cure to your curse yet nor an alternative that didn’t involve an adepti, you felt indebted to Zhongli’s generosity on being your life support for an indefinite period of time.
It meant that sometimes when Zhongli did something that only lovers would, you were content to let it pass. Considering how much of his essence you needed, you were willing to let him enjoy you however he wanted.
It meant that on certain occasions where Zhongli’s libido was unbelievably high, you’d let yourself be led to a secluded to corner of a mountain, a road, or even Liyue’s backstreets to have your panties pushed to the side and be fucked by his thick cock.
You’ve learned how to muffle your moans as his cock relentlessly thrusted into your pussy, hands deftly freeing your breasts from its confines and playing with it. Squeezing and pulling and pushing it until it felt overly stimulated from the attention. Your body learned how to arch itself in the right way, ensuring that his cock repeatedly slammed its head into your g-spot.
The only change between then and now was that Zhongli had gained a preference on muffling your moans with his mouth, kissing you fervently as you milked his cock with your pussy. His kisses was intense, it made your knees weak and felt too intimate between two people fucking for necessity. Which often led to the two of you kissing for a long period of time, even when Zhongli rubs your pussy through the fabric of your panties or simply because he felt like it.
Zhongli was an excellent kisser, that much you could tell from the steadily growing frequency of him simply kissing you, without it leading to sex or having your pussy eaten out. And maybe you were biased with your opinion considering you’ve never kissed anyone other than Zhongli but you were quite sure that he gave the best kisses.
This thought only became more prevalent with each lingering kiss he gave you, the warmth that left your lips tingling. It made you want for something you don’t quite understand or dare to understand. Zhongli made your knees weak, he made you want things you’ve previously given up on, he made you want for a home you could return to.
Zhongli was changing you into someone you weren’t quite sure you truly welcomed and yet you couldn’t help but want and want. Selfishly wanting to tie him to you, to tie yourself to him.
“Zhongli?” Your voice trembled, soft and scared.
Even so in your eyes, he remained smiling, calm and patient as he gently took strands of your hair and kissed its tip.
“It’s fine, I can wait.”
You closed your eyes and bowed your head. The sound of his footsteps gently fading away as he walked away made you feel relieved and aching at the same time.
5.
Despite sleeping separately for the first time since you were cursed, Zhongli’s affection for you didn’t change. Except that he no longer gave you kisses outside of foreplay or sex even still his affectionate looks and smile remained.
It left you disappointed and yet a clarity of mind and heart.
Ultimately, you understood that Zhongli was doing this to give you space, a breather to allow you to make your decision without any bias or undue influence. This allowed you to realize that you had been deceiving yourself for a while now.
Even so you still didn’t want to voice it. You couldn’t even dare to speak of it in the privacy of your mind. So you did what you always did when everything felt constricting. You ran away.
The benefits from being a mage was that you could use the teleportation devices scattered throughout Teyvat. Which meant that it was quite easy for you to slip in and out of 7 nations without anyone knowing. So it was really quite easy for you to get out of Liyue Harbor, use the device in Mt. Tianheng and go to Snezhnaya.
The surprise and alarmed look of Tartaglia was enough to quell your nerves.
--
You raise a bottle of your finest fire water and said, “Let’s drink!”
2 bottles later and you’ve unloaded everything between you and Zhongli to Tartaglia. You sat across from him, legs spread and stretched out while his fireplace blazes on the side and engulfing both of you in warm orange light.
“So you’re in love” He smirks, amused and equally drunk, comfortably leaning in the plush seat of his tufted back armchair.
“I am not” You denied, sinking further into your seat and ignoring Tartaglia’s loud and uninhibited laughter.
“I just like the no strings attached sex and affection” You clarified, “You’ve known about me for a long time, I don’t do well in long relationships.”
Tartaglia takes a swig of his own bottle of firewater, “You do, we’ve been friends for a long time” He smiles at you “you’re just afraid of commitment.”
You look at him, face blank but eyes showing your reluctant agreement and Tartaglia leans towards you, “You’re afraid aren’t you, of what Zhongli would do in the future, about you, me, the Abyss and everything it entails, and Celestia.”
“Maybe.”
“You were never one to let your fears rule you” His voice becomes soft, the unspoken affection bleeding through his words, “so what exactly are you afraid of losing once you acknowledge it?”
“I hate it when you aren’t sticking to your ‘only cares about a good fight’ persona” You groaned out, sitting up straight “you’re lucky I see you as family or I’d curse you right now.”
Tartaglia laughs and ruffles your hair, “Go to sleep and then return to him tomorrow.”
He gets up and makes his way to his bedroom, before he could leave the room you spoke, “Thank you.”
From behind you, Tartaglia smiled and said nothing as he continued on his way. There were some things that no longer needed to be said between two friends.
--
You sat on the edge of the cliff in Mt. Tianheng, watching the sunrise as Liyue Harbor slowly comes to life. You weren’t quite ready to face Zhongli yet.
You wanted to steel your nerves, calm your heart and properly arrange your words. Despite the carefree nature you showed, when it came to the matters of the heart, you always treaded carefully. Gone were the days you fell in love recklessly, accidentally and unknowingly hurting others and being hurt in return.
You wanted to face Zhongli, sincerely, to give him the utmost consideration for all that he had done for your sake. You wanted to make sure, to truly ascertain that what you felt was real and not a mere byproduct of the curse you had been saddled with. Zhongli deserved to be loved for who he was, as he is, and not what he gave up for you. To love him out of gratitude was to trample upon his sincerity, and you didn’t want that.
So you stalled, you waited, you didn’t rush. You simply and slowly worked out what you truly thought, what you felt. By the time the sun was high up in the sky, you stood up and patted your clothes. You slowly made your way down, entering Liyue Harbor, greeting the merchants and the townsfolk that knew you.
Each step that you took made you nervous, despite that you continued to make preparations, you pre-ordered a take out from Wanmin Restaurant, buying Zhongli’s favorite dish, Crystal Shrimp, and Universal Peace.
“I guess, Mr. Zhongli isn’t going to be Liyue’s most desired bachelor anymore?” Chef Mao joked.
You blinked and then laugh softly, “Was it that obvious?”
Chef Mao smiled, fatherly and nostalgic, and then he spoke to you with a wiseness that only came from suffering the vicissitudes of life, “There are things that can’t be concealed easily, one is indifference and the other love.”
Surprised, you stared at Chef Mao who only laughed boisterously, and with his fatherly tone added, “I’m not blind, and I was young once! I can tell if a man is interested or not.”
With a wink, Chef Mao waved you away and you shook your head in amusement as you walked away after paying in full. You slowly made your way to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, taking in the sight of Liyue Harbor in its busiest time of the day.
And as you neared the bridge in front of the parlor, you saw him. Walking slowly over the bridge, a rain of red maple leaves fell as he passed, you slowly halted and stared at him.
Thump thump
Your eyes met his and your heart that was moved by him, began to beat just a little bit faster. You smiled, gentle and soft, filled with unabashed adoration for him and slightly ran towards him. Zhongli smiled at you, eyes reflecting the deep emotions that he had for you.
Time slowed down and ran fast.
“I’m home” You told him as you hugged him and buried your face to his chest.
His arms gently and tightly wrapped around you, “Welcome back”.
There were still things that needed to be said, confessions to be made but for now the two of you didn’t need to do that yet. Not when both of you had finally reached the same place, hearts beating in sync.
+1
“Hey,” You called out to Zhongli “Do you remember the temple that got me cursed?”
“Of course” Zhongli replied, face stern and serious as he remembered that disastrous day.
“Well, I finally found out the story behind it” You revealed as you comforted him, hand gently patting his.
Zhongli relaxed, tense frame slumping a bit in the privacy of his shared home with you. He pulled you into his lap, embracing you and softly asked, “tell me?”
You hummed and began your tale,
“There used to be an immortal, a scrap collector, who was Heaven’s beloved official, and” You paused dramatically “there was a ghost king, a great calamity that the heavenly officials feared. The scrap immortal had the world’s terrible luck, he would experience all sorts of misfortune and tragedy while the ghost king had the world’s best luck, he would never lose a gamble nor a bet.”
You looked at Zhongli, teasing and eyes twinkling, “And these two unlikely beings were each other’s dao partner.”
Zhongli choked, “My dear…”
You laughed and laughed, “surprised? I was too! Ah~ Zhongli that temple was the one the ghost king, Hua Cheng, the Xuè Yǔ Tàn Huā built for his beloved, his highness Xiè Lián. It was the only surviving relic of the place where the infamous Ghost City was located.”
Zhongli blinked, “Then we entered the Ghost Realm?”
You nodded, “Yeah, we ended up triggering an old protection array. I ended up being the receiver of the curse since I was careless when I was fighting, I damaged the statue of his highness and the ghost king punished me for it.”
Seeing Zhongli frowning, you hurriedly appeased him, “Don’t worry! Those two have been gone for a long time now! What was left in there was just a particularly powerful emotion powered curse! So don’t go fighting with them!”
Zhongli sighed, but the frown on his face didn’t go away, “Then your curse?”
“With or without your cum, The curse would have eventually faded away.”
You laughed at his blushing face and decided to reveal one more thing, “Zhongli~ Did you know that when gambling with the ghost king, the only way to get what you want was to pass a test?”
Forehead to forehead, you stared into his eyes, through his heart and to his soul, voice filled with wonder and love, “If you can move his highness, Xiè Lián’s heart with pity, the Ghost King would give you what you want even if you had lost the debt.”
“I-”
You cut Zhongli off with a gentle kiss, and then said, “That day, I heard your prayers, and begged them to let you go. To let me suffer the curse alone, to let me suffer the unbearable pain. Because I couldn’t bear to have you suffer the consequences of my actions.”
“I can suffer any humiliation but my heart can’t bear the thought of you being humiliated” You told him, this secret of yours, the one you kept close to your heart.
--
You didn’t know when you began to fall for him, maybe it was when you had brazenly teased him, “Osmanthus wine, I’ll give this to you so don’t be a stick in the mud!”
Or maybe it was when he had asked, visibly worried, “Are you not afraid of being struck down like the sinners of Khaenri’ah?”
Or maybe it was when he had lowered himself to the ground and cried, “I just want to save her alone.”
There were so many moments that could have started it all but you knew when he had completely taken grasp of your heart.
“Please, let me walk by your side, protecting you and your belief.”
His words that day, fell into your heart like a rock that fell into a pond, creating ripples as it sank down on the bottom and stayed. He had, without you noticing, walked step by step into your heart, and made himself at home in there.
You would forever answer the calls of adventure, the never ending stories the world was waiting to tell you, but you also knew that you would always, without fail, return to Zhongli. To your home and one day you would settle your old bones with him, weathered hands holding each other, and greet each day side by side.
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amethystpath-writes · 3 years
Text
You’re Not A Villain
“I didn’t expect to ever see you again,” Villain’s voice bounced off every wall, making it impossible to know where exactly he was.
Hero swallowed, daring a step further into what she often referred to in her own mind as ‘my lure to Hell.’ “You say that every time.”
The voice seemed to dash to the right, even as Villain emerged from a hole in the cave straight across from Hero. “Because it’s true every time.” This wasn’t the first week the hero had been making these little visits.
Why would Hero return to such a dingy place? One where a man appeared as a beast- a heathen sent from only the universe knew where- to her. Villain was burdened with cruel appearances, being seen- always- as the worst possible image the viewer could imagine. Hero always saw a demon-ish looking creature in Villain; it made him want to ask her what the story behind such hideous monsters was. Him asking her would probably only freak her out more, though.
“So, why are you here again? This is the second time just this week. And I won’t even mention how many times last week.” Villain lifted his hand, attempting to rake it through his hair. He met a pair of horns half-way through the task. Grunting, and dropping his hands uselessly to his sides, he continued. “You should be running for your life at a random sighting of me. Instead, you deliberately walk yourself into my dome of isolation. It’s hard to run away in a cave, you know?”
“I know,” Hero squeaked, “but I- I…”
She did this every time- strutted in like she was made purely of confidence. Hero posed with it as she entered the largest ‘room’ of the cave, but her posture always fell when Villain’s voice echoed around her, when she realized she would be trapped with her greatest nightmares.
Why, Villain had to question again. Why does she keep coming back? He was a horror, a creature which caused the most deeply rooted trembles and speediest beating hearts. There were enough times that he made his visitors pass out from fear. It took some getting used to- frightening people to their near deaths.
Villain was a man once- and he was one now…just not to everyone else.
When Villain was alone in his cave, he was the greatest version of himself- gloriously human. One with curly locks and straight teeth from those braces he wore back in junior high. One with the heaviest pocketed dimples and freckles on his nose. One who was average in height, but strong from all the lonely workouts. He was regular, normal, average…but it was better than anything he could ever wish for when his reality now was so…so cursed.
Hero flinched, undoubtedly seeing something new sprout from Villain as her nightmarish imagination ran untamed. The last time she visited the cave, Villain felt a heavy weight on his shoulders.
Wings. It had been leathery bat wings- like something from Hell. Villain would have liked to fly with those wings had they not disappeared as soon as Hero turned her back on him.
Now, however, Villain was presented with something different. “My horns are on fire?” he guessed, as his head had become warm, to which Hero confirmed with a fast nod. “Lovely. You might like to make me fire-proof in that mind of yours, then, yeah?”
“I don’t- I don’t know if I can.”
Heaving a sigh, Villain took a seat on a large rock on the ground- could it be considered a boulder if he were tall enough to sit on it without having to climb? “You’re afraid it would make me invincible? Afraid I’d attack you without pause?”
“No.”
But she was. Villain knew Hero was or else she would have cooperated the moment he asked.
“Give me lead feet if you’re that afraid. My scalp is burning.”
“You’re hard- hard to talk to,” Hero said. At least she was able to get a grip on herself enough that Villain’s head slowly began to cool off.
“And yet you keep returning.”
“Because I’m a hero.”
“I suppose that makes me a villain.”
Her response was to take the teeniest step forward. Villain could see her foot shaking even as it just barely left the ground.
He was the cause of that tremble, and many others.
He couldn’t help it, though, and that’s what killed him. Villain didn’t want to be like this. If he had any choice in the matter, he’d be as average as anyone- below average even- if only it meant being loved, cherished, and- and cared for. This…this demonic presence that he lived as around others…it was painful- not just physically, but mentally as well.
“You’re not a villain,” Hero said, inching forward another frightened step.
Villain sat nearly perched on his rock-boulder, watching with an inclined chin and squinted eyes. What was Hero doing? “If I weren’t, you wouldn’t be so scared, nor would anyone else be. I’m a monster.” His voice wasn’t broken- as much as he felt that trait on the inside. Villain trained himself long ago to remain numb on the outside, to encase himself in a shell that screamed ‘self-preserved.’
Hero said, “I’m showing you that you’re not a villain.”
She was getting closer. Oh. Oh, Villain didn’t like this. No one ever got this close to him- even if it were in as slow steps as Hero was taking now. This wasn’t- this- “What are you doing?” The numb Villain worked so hard to achieve was crumbling to pieces the closer Hero got. Was he…was he shaking? “Step back, Hero. This isn’t a game. I could- I could hurt you. You should run and you know it. You want to run. I’m- I’m scary and I’m a monster.”
“Who told you that?” Why was Hero’s voice gaining more courage whereas Villain’s might as well have been a holey rag in the rain above someone’s head?
This isn’t right. This isn’t right.
“Who told you that you were a monster, Villain?”
He squeezed his eyes shut. No. No, she shouldn’t be this close. I’m a monster. I’m a monster.
“Who?” Hero pressed again, and this time…she laid a hand on Villain’s shoulder- on Villain’s bare shoulder. Taking a deep breath, Hero told the man beneath her hand, “You’re no monster to me, Villain. You don’t have to be a monster to anyone.”
Ever-so-slowly, Villain’s eyes blinked open. The first thing he saw was the veiny arm extending out from Hero. She was still nervous, but…but- “You’re touching me.” His voice was an exasperated and disbelieving whisper. “You’re touching me,” Villain said again- this time with an astonished chuckle. “They said this would never happen. Said I’d be alone and starving- craving what I can never have.” His eyes met Hero’s. “Do I…do I still have horns?”
The question of ‘Who-dunnit’ no longer mattered. “No, Villain. The horns are gone.”
What happened in the next moment likely shocked them both, though Hero’s might have been in more fright than surprise…Villain pulled his saviour close, nose tucked into her neck, tears flowing freely down his cheek and onto Hero’s back.
See, Hero was still afraid- and she always would be. But the fear was worth it to make Villain human, to make him see that he wasn’t a monster, for it isn’t the skin of the man which makes him a beast, but the absence of morality. It is only when moral judgement is vacant that Man can be considered Animal.
******
Part two here
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