#i dont super know how i feel about the rest of them given the old reddit post that's going around but stream debrief

[littlekingbergara]

gonna be honest, the whole ned thing doesn’t surprise me considering old buzzfeed employees have said some stuff about how ned was a manager when he worked there and tried recruiting ppl for their company and created a bad work environment (idk if that’s true) and also the whole nft thing but this-

anyway stream debrief on the watcher channel today and stan the tri guys

the nft thing is sooo like. your friends are constantly saying how harmful and stupid nfts are and you still decide you need a little video of a football game?? also he said in an instagram comment that he recorded an apology/statement on the trypod but i've watched every podcast since then and there was no apology or even mention of it lmao. plus that's his least popular platform so if he wanted people to see it (which i don't doubt he didn't since a lot of people still didn't know so i'm sure he would've wanted to keep it that way) he would've said something on the same platforms he bragged about his nft on.

i'm obviously not the first one to say that building his whole brand around loving his wife while simultaneously being a cheater and not a very good one is definitely a choice. by doing that he also kind of backed ariel into this corner of Famous White Guy's Wife (no matter how much he tried to brand himself as Ariel's Husband) and made it almost impossible for her to speak up about any problems within their marriage because that's then hurting the company. she's talked about problems with him a few times on you can sit with us that seem to just get brushed over because despite him not helping with housework and the majority of raising the kids still falling on ariel, they continue to frame their marriage as a perfect partnership because they love each other.

another thing that gets me is like... we know he's not Stupid. he was a chemist, he was a manager at buzzfeed, he did a lot of the managerial/administrative work for starting 2nd try, he's familiar with running a business and the importance of accountability and transparency so it follows that every "mistake" he's made has been deliberate.

anyways! stream ghost files: debrief! check your parasocial relationships! take care of yourself!

[understandableparadox]

Bottom of the barrel Isekai review

Today we are looking at the following, "The white cat's revenge as plotted from the dragon kings lap."

christ thats a long as title.

anyways, do you have a friend? no? yes? maybe? how nice, how do you treat them? how do you speak with them? how do you interact with them? while you are filling out this survey, could you be as kind as to fill out those silly little digits on that odd plastic card in your mothers purse for moi~?

no? well fuck you to.

the flowers, the painfully average looking protag, the specific notation about the eye color? we are about to dive into the live of a special young lady and her mystical adventures through whimsy and wonder.

anyways the story is that ruri, are main charecter lives a rather average life with her super importent dad and her super model mom, as the image stats, how could her life ever be distrupted in any form or fashion?

if you guess that a random girl made friends with her and followed her for most of her life until they both got sucked into a fantasy world and the kingdom decided the friend would be the priestess, then you would be correct~!

"But dox!" you say crawling out of my airvent "thats huge gap in time, what happened in between?"

well asashi and ruri had a rather odd relationship. you see, everyone fucking loves asashi, they are all in on ensureing that this random girls life is as easy as possible but at the expense of asashi. they will all work togather to do make sure asashi is happy while also bullying ruri.

do you feel that? thats the worm in my brain slowly getting into yours as more and more questions about this specific dynamic arise. some of them will be answered, but they will only be answered in a way that makes sure the worm Burrows Deeper.

first question: its clear ruri fucking hates asashi, why do i say shes her friend?

second question: Why are they friends? why hasent ruri made her leave her alone if she doesnt like her?

well to answer those questions...

as asashi is appointed the new priestiess ruri attempt to discover things about this kingdom, she learns from a priest that there is no way back home that they know of, nor are their any stories of a person summoned being Un summoned.

anyways we cant get any plot done here! we need to roundaboutly kick shit off while also makeing this asashis fault somehow!

so she ends up getting kicked from the castle, forced to wander the woods for the rest of her natural life, her mulchcore attitude persaudeing her to lay down and become one with it all...

ok no thats not what happens, she walks around a little bit, learns she is the greatest mage alive

, wanders presumably without food and water for five days, yes im screaming at the overpowered mc cliche once again just ignore it, where in she meets a old lady in the woods

who of course unlocks her

Special eyes of destiny

which allows her to see the collection of fucking creepy fairies that constently surround and are touching her at any given moment of the day.

I am lead to belive due to the daisies drawn in the back ground that this is supposed to be a moment of whimsy and joy, this image fills me with a special dread as it fullfills almost every single one of my autistic fears imagineable. night mare night mare nightmare.

anyways magic is discussed for a vary long time but oh fuck, we havent complained about asashi in five seconds, time to make a horrifying point about her!

this conclusion seems to be that no one can truly love asashi as all the love she will ever feel is artifically grown because of her magic. this also means that if you have a strong heart and a good soul you cannot love asashi because you would naturally and rightfully find her as annoying as ruri would. this is because ruri is the only one that can see her objectivly.

if you hare undergoing a string of panic that comes from the fundamental question that comes from the doubt of love from the sources in your life, dont worry, Ruri says she is annoying and bad and the story belives her to be objectivly correct so everyone belives that if they are good. you are a good person right?

growing dread aside, more plot, the fairys bend to the whim of ruri, all faries, meaning that unless you are a motherfucking wizard, the one source of universal and public magic has been cut off. all villagers that relied on water and fire magic have been cut off. farmers that need earth magic are cut off.

of course this is not her fault because again she is an objectivly good person with a good heart so she tut tuts the fairies for depriving villagers of clean drinking water and easy acess to heat and light for a week and the story moves on.

she learns more magic, she summons the fairy of time and they platoniclly flirt because ruri is a completely heterosexual girl.

the fairy of time is a simp and donates to her only dimensional space. one item of which is a bracelet that turns her into a cat, fulfilling one item on the title.

she goes to the market, her special chosen one powers make her super duper populer and people naturally want her advice and to give her money

wait a second, what time is it?

OH FUCK, WE HAVENT COMPLAINED ABOUR ASASHI IN A BIT!

SHE HAS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE OF ASASHI GIVING UP HER DREAM LIFE IN A FANTASY WORLD TO BE WITH HER, THIS IS CONSIDERED A BAD THING, IN ANY OTHER MANGA THIS WOULD BE CONSIDERED A ROMANCE TO END ALL ROMANCES

she decides to leave and go to the city of dragons because fuck it, thats a thing to do, she has to tell them she is the special chosen one with the blue eyes and blonde hair.

we cut for a second our lead.

as you can see the prince through his actions is a completely heterosexual man, one that loves Boobs And Vagina. as one can clearly Tell.

anyways the prince is creepy, he walks through town in disgues, happens upon ruri and without a second thought proceeds to do this:

gross.

anyways, the prince tells his homophobic advisors that he met a girl and they immeditly start a witch hunt for her while ruri enters the room as a cat to establish that again, she is the special chosen one of destiny.

anyways she meets the prince and nothing happens. the fairies threaten to kill everyone with the knowladge that ruri has apocalyptic plot armor.

now, to explain what a special chosen one is:

"hey dox, pre-emptivly asking a question, why would their ever be a chosen one? it seems their sole existance is to get a small scratch and make everyone die about it."

GREAT QUESTION, I DONT FUCKING KNOW, THEY APPERENTLY CAUSE PROSPARITY BUT I HAVE YET TO SEE IT, NOT EVEN A GOD DAMN DECENT 401K

anyways the prince gets Really attached to the Cat

Really Close.

this is explained through the fact that they have simalier wavelengths or similier magic types, meaning that they feel lonely without each other nearby.

the manga is astouindingly quick to stifle any comparison to asashi because remeber, asashi is Objectivly Bad and Unloveable.

Remember, Wanting to be friends with someone and not immeditly knowing if they like you or not makes you an objectivly Bad and Annoying person.

cut forward a bit, more werid cat flirting and she gets a job outside the palace... anyways she hears knews that the kingdom she was exiled from is wageing a war against the nation of dragons. this is handwaved as being something they just do when they find some cool magic shit.

but notably, the reason for the war has changed, as rumors have emerged that the priestess of the kingdom is supporting the war to save ruri who they belive to be kidnapped.

she gets sad about this and goes to the grandma to whine about it.

so we can see here a few things.

we are supposed to belive that its completely unreasonable for asashi to make the assumption that her best friend has been kidnapped.

that it is her fault for allowing a war to happen when we know that regardless of her support they would wage it regardless

ruri only considers asashi a friend when it is deemed attractive to her moral charecter.

yes this is the first time ruri has every said that asashi is anything resembling a friend to her.

she slips into the castle after some poverty porn about how evil and bad this kingdom is, we get a brief scene showing the king is planning on makeing sure both asashi and the prince die because he finds him annoying (I guess he has a strong and objectivly good soul)

"Man, isnt asashi awful, worrying about her friend like that? wanting people to help her find her? isnt she just the fucking Worse ever?"

im going insane, the worm has won, they have consumed any rational part of my brain and replaced it with the vast rot of whatever fucking bizarro verse this manga demands me to be within.

the two friends finally reunite after being seperated for so long.

we get a sob story about a time she broke her watch because again, asashis charm powers make people jealous of how close she is to asashi, so they bullied her and since asashi has literally never seen anyone ever act anything like that because again, everyone s magically forced to love her unconditionally, she doesnt belive her.

and of course she dosent belive her either but instead of just blindly saying no to ruri, she says she'll talk to them about it, when its clear ruri fucking hates that idea, and gets ready to leave with a little cryptic warning, she asks to flee with her

which again is displayed as a creepy and werid thing because she accidently uses her charm magic that we have established she has no control over. again, in any other manga the idea that while you may not belive what you hear, you are willing to give up any comfort to be with your friend, would be considered the most profound act of love. please feel free to contrast this to captian hair sniffer and Cat spooner.

I cannot add any more images so lets speed run this. asashi is shaken up so she goes to the king to ask him whats going on, he says "Mind control" which lets be perfectly clear, is an established and perfectly reasonable thing to belive can happen in a magical fucking world, asashi is shown to be dumb for belive this.

war happens and nothing happens, dragons win by a land slide and asashi gets captured.

she dosent belive the dragon princes words and all of her allies that got captured with her are placed in an anti magic zone and now hate her completely because again, without magic, asashi is completely and utterly unloveable.

ruri makes friends with another god and they learn that asashi convinced a guard to let her go because i guess that charm magic works whenever. but shes stuck in a dungeon and she may run into the soldiers who i guess the charm magic wont work on which leaves us with this haunting scene:

we are told that asashi legitamitly does not understand what the fuck is going on, she does not understand why they hate her, she just thought she was going to save her fucking friend.

Behold Your Antagonist.

it ends with that.

here are the questions.

"Is the underlying story, barring any other concept, good?" 

Kinda. its vary bland and vary generic. its a romance that does not know how to present itself a romance. it is a romance that spends more time complaining about someone then being in love.

"on a sliding scale of min to max, how much is the author using this to explore fetish" 

none, the few saveing graces.

"How many story crutches does the author use to explore the story" 

an absurd amount, from the plot contrivances to the power cliches, to the physical attributes denoting specialness to ensure we and the charecters know to treat her in a special way.

 "Is the author attempting to use the story as a way to explain why he is not weird."

yeah, if you have any fucking trouble with social interactions or cant read people, then you are an objectively bad person, and if you are somehow populer, no one actully loves you, and they are being forced to love you.

[ohlookapan]

BG3 and their fave classic novels (at least what i thought at 4am) Karlach: Frankenstein (she read it growing up and liked it but now it feels bittersweet when she rereads - but she feels like it makes the book better somehow now that she relates to it more) Laezel: Catch 22 Gale: The Great Gatsby or Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy Astarion: Catcher in the Rye (i dont know why it just feels right) Wyll: anything by Jane Austen (explains why he acts like a regency love interest) Shadowheart: Charlotte's Web (denies that she even knows it exists but she always cries when she reads it) Halsin: The Secret Garden Jahera: The Alchemist

These are all so perfect are you kidding me-

Your answer gave me a few ideas of ones I might change, but they're very few. I do want to share my thoughts on all your answers though because damn are they good and give me a buffet of food for thought.

Karlach: I'm actually furious I didn't think of Frankenstein, the symbolism is unfathomably perfect.

Lae'zel: She's always been a tough one for me to think of, so I'm so happy to hear Catch 22 as a suggestion. Honestly the phrase itself sums her (and Shadowheart) up pretty well; Either abandon your faith and start fresh (conveniently lost, if you will), or stay with a faith that you know or have an inkling might be morally wrong/deviant and have to live with it for the rest of your life. I love the idea.

Gale: Hitchhiker's Guide. No question. He's definitely the type to finish it in 2 weeks and secretly write fanfiction or self inserts for things and never tell anyone (maybe Tav or Astarion finds them and bullies him about it--but they can't judge since that's what daydreaming is for lol).

Astarion: Gatsby, which you suggested for Gale, is honestly a good one for Astarion. I definitely think he can relate to Jay--wanting to throw your life of pain and nothingness away to become something totally new and forget that old life of yours, no matter what the cost is--and think he definitely picked up on the queer-coding thing pretty fast (he believes it, I imagine). I think he could think of himself as Daisy does: "A beautiful little fool."

I also can see The Picture of Dorian Gray being a good one. I made a post about this in the past but I will never turn down an opportunity to talk about it; I feel like he'd be SUPER into Oscar Wilde and the way he views the world. To me, it fits his aesthetic and flowery dialect almost scarily well.

Catcher and the Rye though, definitely. He carries a worn out copy of that book EVERYWHERE. It's like a teddy bear to him. Maybe that's what he's reading all the time at camp?

Wyll: This is the best one, oh my Gods. I've never thought about it but now I can't unsee it during my playthrough. The almost flowery elegance he has is definitely Austen-coded. Beautiful.

Shadowheart: THIS. I definitely think Charlotte's Web boosted her love for animals, but I also think it helped her figure out her own personal thoughts about death, outside of Lady Shar's teachings. Given how much I think the book would impact and mean to her, I can totally see her naming a pet Wilbur or Charlotte.

Like Halsin, I think The Secret Garden also fits. Her love for Night Orchids, as well as the idea of there being something more out there than what meets the eye--something more beautiful than anything anyone could imagine, and something that completely takes your breath away and makes you forget about everything--is EXTREMELY appealing to her, I'd imagine. I like to think she notices Halsin reading it and walks a bit behind the group to talk about the book with him (lord knows the minute someone knows Shadowheart likes something so sweet like that, it's over for her (especially Astarion)--Gale though would totally keep it in mind and find a gold-foil copy for her).

Halsin: The idea of him sitting under a tree or something and reading The Secret Garden kills me in the best way. Maybe he's reading it out loud to ducks or squirrels (then the group hears him and gathers around for circle reading time because his voice is PERFECT for reading aloud (I think his VA even did an audiobook? Don't quote me on that though)).

Jaheira: Yes. Just... Unequivocally yes. Nothing more to say. The Alchemist is so accurate.

[balkantalia]

oh you poor thing; you have no idea what you've just brought upon yourself >:D

💕👎🔮✒️🔥📚💛🪞🧠🏆🗺️

ong

💕 : Who's a character thst you love but never (or rarely) talk about?

Iceland! He's actually in my top 3 but I don't rly know what to post ab him. I wouldn't call him underrated since he has a lot of fans, but I'll try to mention him in my posts more in the future :3

👎 : What's the worst character design in your opinion?

Belarus' ribbon maid outfit thing she has going on is just... weird imo?? I would appreciate it if she just wore a normal uniform like everyone else tbh. Also Turkiye's mask is zesty af idc

🔮 : You can choose to retcon one thing from the manga/anime, what is it?

Korea's character maybe?? idk why Hima considered that a good idea.. I would prob replace him with an entirely new character,,, oh, and that super old strip with Japan and China (you know the one I'm talking ab) was super bizarre and I dont see a reason not to remove it if I was given the option to ahshdhg

✒️ : Do you have a headcanon that you love, but directly contradicts canon?

Does the FACE family dynamic count?? Idk if it contradicts canon b in case it doesn't im also gonna say that I see Hungary as a lesbian which im pretty sure does count bc she was canonically married to Austria iirc

🔥: Give us a hetalia hot take !

I'd really like to see more moments of the axis and the allies just hanging out together. Considering theyre the main characters it's lowkey sad many of them barely have any interactions together (Hima pls all I need is a panel w/ Germany nd China). I rly liked the movie night episode in the anime for that exact reason

📚 : Recommend a fanfic?

I haven't read that many hetalia fics acc, but searching under the Allies tag on AO3 is my favourite thing to pass a Sunday afternoon <3 def recommend it

💛 : Name a friendship that doesn't exist in canon but you'd like to see between two characters!

I have a ton of those but ig my fav example is Italy and America. I feel like if they were given more scenes together they'd be a rly good duo, since they both have the same vibes nd stuff imo

🪞 : Do you have any physical appearance headcanons for your favourite character?

I like to think China is a leftie mostly bc i'm a leftie and I dont see much representation of us in media,, i can also imagine him having chubby cheeks for some reason

🧠 : What's your most "essential" headcanon? (one you can't imagine the hetalia universe without!)

Idk how to answer this one 😭

🏆 : Sell us on a character! Maybe it's someone you think deserves more love - tell us why they should be liked !!

Romano is not underrated but shh let's ignore that,,, so yh I find him very relatable most of the time, he has a lot of canon content to consume and he's overall js an entertaining character and a grumpy silly lil guy who's fun to like

🗺️ : Who's your favourite allies member? Axis member? Nordic? And favourite character who's not in one of these groups?

My fav ally is China (or maybe Canada idk), fav axis member is Japan nd fav nordic is def Iceland. From the rest of the cast i like Greece, his cat obsession is the realest thing ever, I ship giripan and that's also the country I'm from sooo

[jet-bradley]

hey splatoon fans, while you're waiting for side order i highly recommend playing TRON 2.0

it's a FPS sequel to TRON that came out in 2003. it's about the now-adult son of two of the main human characters from the original TRON movie getting sucked into a virus-infected computer, and in the process of trying to disinfect the computer, he uncovers a plot from the company taking over his parents' company to use their laser technology to digitize armies of humans and take over the world.

do i have you hooked yet?

if i don't, consider this: i'm recommending it in huge part because it's largely a story about jet, the protagonist, learning to reconnect with his dad after they both lost his mom, who died in a workplace laser accident and was most likely partially digitized. the digitization laser was her own life's work. the digitization AI, MA3A, takes on lora's voice after her death (and is voiced by lora's actress from the original film), and there are workplace rumors that it's because alan incorporated the digitized portions of her remains into MA3A's code. jet spends a lot of the game defending his mom's digital/digitized ghost from external threats.

what i'm getting at is that if you're excited for side order because of how it's hinted at dealing with themes of grief in a y2k digital landscape... they're mostly subtext in TRON 2.0 but i still think the game is seriously up your alley.

if you're a splatoon fan who hasn't played many other shooter games before, TRON 2.0 is a great introduction to the PC shooter world imo. if you're squeamish about blood/gore/giblets flying everywhere, there's none of that in TRON 2.0. if you're a splatoon fan because you like shooters but you've never given TRON 2.0 a chance, this is your sign!

some pros of TRON 2.0:

it looks fucking awesome

TRON 2.0 has a very turn-of-the-century take on the aesthetics of the original TRON. it predates tron legacy by seven years and it doesn't have any of that apple-store aesthetic. it's got all the juicy colors of the original film, with lots of crisp details that the original animation hardware couldn't handle. the digital world of TRON 2.0 only gets better every year with age. meanwhile it's got a (for its time) state-of-the-art glow mechanic that gives the game a very comforting soft feel.

and these are just the ones i've got on my own PC! (the last one i dont know if it's my, screenshot but the rest are from my own screenshots folder).

it can run on basically any PC

no, fr, this required some pretty good hardware when it came out... but the game turned 20 this year. i managed to run TRON on my old laptop after it very nearly split in half like a 2ds and took half an hour to boot by using my parents' TV as a monitor. it didn't even drop that many frames! this was in 2020. it didnt even have a graphics card.

yeah i was a grown adult when that photo was taken. no i dont care that i look 13. my car had just burst an engine rod in the middle of the desert about 48 hours before this was taken, so my fit wasn't really at the top of my priorities. (don't ask.)

you can get it DRM-free

don't get the steam version y'all, i can vouch for it being super glitchy. i can basically only run it while using mods to launch it without contacting steam. get it from gog.com.

ethics note: pirate the TRON movies as much as you want but im pretty sure the original company still gets some bucks when you buy 2.0 legally, and disney fucked them over pretty bad when it comes to the rights to TRON 2.0's characters and story, and they ripped off half the plot of the game to make the movie (and the movie is worse). if you don't wanna drop $10 wait for a gog sale and drop $3. (and honestly, if you're paying $20/year to get disconnected every 15 matches in splatoon, even paying $10 for a good retro game isn't the worst financial decision you've ever made.)

[cemoras27]

small vent about my school experience

this was brought on by reading a little ficlet that happened to hit EXTREAMLY CLOSE to home for me. Im afab living in the midwest in a small town, however the town I live in is NOT my hometown. so everyone in my graduating class had known eachother from diapers basicly. in fact when I did an internship thing at the public library(necessary to graduate) and the directer/woman in charge who was also from out of town agreed that we were called 'transplants'. I have lived here since I was 8. 11 years I have lived here and still don't feel welcomed

in the 8th grade I was in band and at the end of the year the teacher had decided to reveal what the words she had given us at the begining of the year was for. she called out a name and the first person to answer had gotten it wrong, ok big deal. HOWEVER WHEN I GOT IT WRONG I WAS OUT FOR THE REST OF THE CLASS. THE FUCKING BOY WASNT OUT AND WHEN I POINTED IT OUT SHE SAID THAT HE WAS OK OR SOMETING ALONG THOSE LINES AND I HAD REALLY LIKED THIS TEACHER BUT THIS FUCKING RUNINED HER IN MY EYES MY FUCKING GOD I JUST WANTED HER TO DIE I KNOW THATS NOT HEALTHY OR NORMAL BUT JUST CHRIST. I REALLY ONLY HAD MY INTELLANGCE FOR MY CONFIDANCE AND IT FELT LIKE SHE ATTACKED ME I DONT KNOW WHY

i hate history classes because of 2 teachers mrs. G and mrs. c. mrs. G was also the typing class teacher and was SUPER PICKY about the positioning of our hands and no joke i had never finished a typing lesson because of her. the only times I finished one was when she had retired the next year. that bitterness carried over to her history classes where she just was so boring. she barely decorated her room too it was shit. I dont know why anyone in the school liked her she was a bitch. So happy she retired wish she had done it sooner.

MRS C WAS SO MUCH WORSE. BITCH HAD 3 LESSONS AND THAT WAS IT NO VARITY JUST WORKSHEET AFTER WORKSHEET AFTER WORKSHEET THE ONLY CHANGE WAS WHEN WE HAD A STUDENT TEACHER AND HE MADE A PLAN. WISH THAT GUY A BRIGHT FUTURE. BUT C JUST FUCKING SUCKED. THEN SHE DECIDED TO LIE TO MY PARENTS AT MY IEP. WHAT THE FUCK.

I READ FANFIC IN CLASS, THIS WAS A KNOWN PROBLEM BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO DO CLASS WORK JUST READ. I WOULD ALSO LISTEN TO MUSIC WHENEVER I COULD. C SAID THAT I HAD A PROBLEM WITH PUTTING MY EARBUDS IN DURING CLASS. LIKE WHEN SHE WAS TALKING AND THAT WAS BLATENTLY FALSE I PUT MY MUSIC ON AFTER SHE WAS DONE TEACHING AND HAD GIVEN US TIME TO WORK CUNT I HOPE SHE DIES SOMEONE TAKE AN AXE TO HER HEAD PLEASE THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER

now again im afab and i likely have some nurodivergance that has led to a lot of unconscious masking. leading in to what was my biggest pet peeve of people acting dumber than what i know them to be. Notably the boys (one in particular really) and everytime someing stupid came out of his mouth i just wanted to cause bodily and psychological harm to him and his family.

the fic had remined me of a time where mrs C had pulled me into the hallway and told me to call my mom. i didn't want to obviously and this was very public for my sophomore peers to see. i had stomped a little and she told me to stop acting like a child and I just thought about how i never had really gotten a chance to act like a kid when it was appropriate because I was 'so mature for my age' and i just thought back to the guy the got on my nerves. and how he acts like hes fucking ten every day and doesnt get called out for it at all. but i do ONE childish act its stop acting like a kid your too old for that

[symphonicmetal101]

Over-Tired OM Boys HCs

Here's the initial thing that got me started thinkin bout the boys, but here ya go-

Lucifer

- this man, once he hits overtired, is extremely gullible, which is why he locks himself in his office until hes done what needs to be done

- also cannot keep a train of thought for more than 20 seconds and it drives him nuts

- and then he loses his focus even more because he's upset

- you tried knocking on the door once, and told him when you closed your eyes, you couldnt see and needed to go to the doctor

- man went from frustrated to concerned in a heartbeat, only after opening the door realizing how foolish he had just come across

- but now the door was open and you had access to him, and reluctantly he let you drag him to bed

- Will deny it ever happened, and if you bring it up, expect a punishment.

- Though he is grateful you made him rest so he would not become the laughingstock of his brothers

Mammon

- over tired bby will ramble until he forgot what he was talking about and space out for a solid ten seconds before snapping back

- it doesnt matter if you're listening intently or only half listening, he makes no sense what so ever.

- If you can record him without him noticing you (which is easy to do in this state) and play it back once he's rested he's either facepalming and blushy for the nonsense he spewed or he managed to pick out what he may have been trying to say and gets super excited, going off on another more understandable tangent.

- Gaming is a priority

Levi

- Sleeping is not

- Levi usually ends up just tired, not wired but dear lord when he does-

- All that energy and passion he pours into the way he speaks about anime and manga?

- Its physical now...oh and hes slightly more extroverted

- Though its a rare sight, over tired Levi works out and rambles about whatever it was that made him stay up that long, and hes doing it all in your room

Satan

- Over tired Satan is a rare sight, though it happens often, as he holes up in his room

- He gets an impulse to clean, and will tidy and clean and organize his books, though it never lasts

- and theres no escape, he will start crying if he feels you arent paying attention or if you're about to leave

- Depending on who you are, he either becomes 10000000% testier, or hes a giggly mess, there is no in between

Asmo

- Finds everything funny, but will get pouty if it came from someone he doesnt really like

- Over tired Asmo is rare, likely the rarest of all the boys to see, save for Barbatos

- but he is a chaotic little fucker

- dear god

- He will raid the fridge and pantry worse than Beel, specifically when hes on a diet-

- Then MC you're either in for one hell of a story from Asmo, most of them his not-so-proud drunk moments that he never talks about for that reason but he cant stop himself-

-his laugh sounds even more high pitched than normal, and a little maniacal, and he finds everything he says hilarious

- you will go on an adventure probably

Beel

- spaces out randomly, and also cries easily, dont point this put to him and say yes to his adventures, he'll change his mind a thousand times on the way- just go with it

- overtired Beel happens quite a bit, usually after the victory of a game and the adrenaline starts to wear off- and then he still has stuff to do

- but instead of "oh" and maybe a small laugh when he realizes what happened its more ".....oh" and then he looks like he's having an existential crisis

- you will have to physically lead him to bed after that, he's too busy thinking and slowly eating whatever is in his hand

- he snacks to keep himself awake, and poor himbo man is even more gullible than usual

- will want to cuddle, but wont ask when hes like this

Belphie

- out like a bulb immediately

- The Avatar of Sloth? Over tired? yes it happens unfortunately-

- He gets even grumpier than usual because he can’t sleep

- Then at night its just restless tossing and turning

- yes even the seemingly flawless butler gets overtired, but opposite of Asmo, he is far better at concealing it

- Usually happens when he intentionally sleeps through important meetings and days for Lucifer back to back to back

- It’s another excuse to hold you though, so he might make himself over tired more often

Barbatos

- You will see him stifle yawns

- And when given instructions, his eyes widen slightly with concentration as he whispers the instructions over and over under his breath so nobody can hear, but its clear his lips are moving

- he cannot be bribed

- he can be intimidated though, and how you ask?

- “threaten” to go tell Beel or Dia because you know full well if they were asked, they would carry Barb back to his quarters if you can’t do so on your own-

- no he will not sleep

- Usually that’s enough to convince him, but you have to stay near to make sure he doesn’t leave until he’s well-rested, otherwise he’ll leave as soon as possible and try to get back to work

- buuuut if you’re “on guard” or in bed with him- well he might have a few extra minutes or hours to spend with you

Diavolo

- overtired Diavolo is rather rare, as Barbatos is very strict with the prince's schedule

- Still though if Diavolo truly wants to keep going...all Barb can do is prepare for the future

- Which uh...just means being able to drag the prince to his quarters

- If you thought he was lively before, being overtired is kinda like giving caffiene to a squirrel for him

- Until he suddenly crashes....which, depending on how you like his company, can be unfortunate as his kick can last for hours

Simeon

- Simeon goes into zombie mode when he's overtired

- He hates to admit it, but it tales every oumce of strength to not fall asleep in the middle of classes

- Not that Luke would let him

- He's a little dazy, a little slow, but even just a power nap gets the angel going again

Luke

- Babie boy, don't stay up with the big kids-

- an overtired ten year old follows a certain progression

- grumpy, denial in need of sleep, chatterbox, chatterbox, chatterbox, chatt- oh he fell asleep in the middle of his sentence

- will not acknowledge anything in the morning, even as he walks out of his bedroom instead of the random place he slept, instead carrying on the conversation he left half finished the night before

Solomon

- hah

- he has spells

- who needs sleep?

- bastard also pushes himself too far, but disguises it with more ease than anyone else, at least until its just the two of you

- He tends to run his hand through his hair more often, fidgets more

- hes a little jumpy too, so continue with caution if you dont want to be turned into a frog-

Anyways, I know its been a hot minute since I posted anything really uh...substantial? I guess this will have to do?? I'm going to be travelling for a bit, so I apologize for slow updates, also dont have the patience to make a queue

Thank y'all for supporting me anyways, it means a lot!! Keep an eye out for the next OC Hunger Games~

Love ya!!

Masterlist

[crymeariveronceagain]

thoughts on bakugo and the sports festival:

Yeah, he nearly killed someone. 

But, like, since forever, Bakugo's been hearing that he needs to be the best(even leaving his questionable-at-best family life out of it) its a ton of pressure put on him to ALWAYS be something super amazing, always win, always grind people into the ground, because he's supposed to, its what people want him to be. Now, he has a very strict code of what being "The Best" entails, right? Like, it's academic and physical and heroic, all at once. He's trying to be what people have always thought he could be, right? 

Ok, so sports festival. Like, he tries his hardest, from the very beginning. He cuts no one slack, he puts his all in, like he's been doing with heroics since the VERY BEGINNING. Bakugo is all in, he thinks that being a hero involves being ALL IN, putting your whole self into a fight. Now, like, he's watching Izuku fight Shoto, and he's like, hey. Icyhot is actually icyhot. I've never seen him use his fire before. That's a really strong quirk. Bakugo realizes his win isn’t guaranteed, so what does he do? 

He goes up against this super powerful person and he puts his all into the fight what else are you supposed to do? He'd like to think fighting someone for honor and glory requires your all, to prove that you're worth something and to be the hero that will do anything to kick butt and face and save people. He thinks heroes should put everything they have into what they do, right? So this super strong person, that he's high-key PSYCHED to fight, subtly scared of losing to, doesn't put his all in. 

Bakugo's seen this guy's all. But what he’s getting hit with? This is just ice, and this isn't everything. 

Okay, Bakugo thinks(because River is telling this story and Bakugo possesses rational thought processes when i write what he thinks), if I push Icyhot far enough, he'll retaliate with fire. It's what Bakugo would do, it's what anyone would do. 

You're not supposed to lose. 

You're supposed to go down swinging. 

That's what being a hero is, right? It's never giving up, never breaking down, always being the best, putting in everything that you have because that's what it takes, right? 

And Shoto doesn't and he's pissed because that's not what they're here for. they're not here to half-ass things they're not here to go halfway and then turn back. and more than that, he shouldn't be someone who someone else can fight without putting in their all. 

Shoto comes after him and makes him into the smallest thing Bakugo can think of, in that moment, someone who is worth less than Deku is and from there it all spirals and his brain goes angry very very angry but wouldn't you be, too? You made it all the way there by never giving up, never giving anything less than your best, you showed someone, you showed EVERYONE the blood, sweat, and tears that you are willing to put into being a hero. You're not going to go easy on anyone for any reason, you're not going to judge people based on what they look like or how they act.

You got to the end of the line and then, seconds away from something that you can be proud of, a heroic victory, in your eyes, and someone powerful doesn't put in the effort they'd need to beat you. They know they could beat you, or at least have a fighting chance, and that's why you were looking forward to this. They're your equal, they're your peer, they're someone you feel could be a challenge, in a world where you always push yourself to the farthest possible lengths, and they just don't. 

And you win.

You win because you fought someone who wouldn't put up a fight, and you win because you pushed them as hard as you could, you tried to make them give their all, and they wouldn't, and you're so angry, why aren't you worth their effort? It's not because of you, but that's not what you think, you think they think you're not worth it, you're not a threat, you're not worthy of being fought-- and you keep fighting, you keep giving your all, you've won but not because of all the work that you've put in not because of the blood, sweat, and tears--

You win because someone else gave up. So you say you don't want it, that wasn't a win, it's not a win to you, because you didn't win properly, you didn't beat someone who was a threat to you, you kicked dirt into the face of someone who had already given up, someone who wouldn't fight back as hard as they could. 

You didn't take it easy on that girl, the gravity-and-pink-cheeks extra, because you knew she'd be pissed if you treated her any different because she was a girl, and if you had, she'd have broken your neck. 

Well, you want to break this guy's neck, because he went easy on you, he pulled his punches, his fire didn't rage with his ice, and its not about you, but you don't know that and then, instead of listening, or even giving you a break, or letting you calm down from the rage that's blistering in your veins and makes you want to snap the half-and-half kid like a twig, they knock you out they don't listen, they make you smaller, they show you very clearly that what you want does not matter, that you are a tool to them, an object, something to fight and win like a dog in a pit, and when you don't listen or comply, they do what they want with you. 

And then they chain you up in front of a crowd and national television.

And you're screaming, and no one knows what you're saying. Are you mad or scared or fine or just a villainous, feral animal, willing to hurt anything and anyone who stands in the way of what you want? 

But no one can hear you because your mouth is strapped shut and there are chains over your hands and you're fighting-- but no one can hear you. The words you’e saying are lost in the metal and the chains and you are falling to pieces but you cannot stop fighting because if you stop then you lose, you’re done, you’ve succumbed, you’ve lost--

And then your childhood idol, the person who meant everything to you when you were a kid, who you've still got posters of in your room, starts giving out the medals.

He's smiling wide and hugging third and second place, and then, at last, he's in front of you and he is still smiling and he takes off the muzzle and you spit out that this isn't how a hero wins, this isn't really winning if your opponent didn't give his all, this is just taking the benefits from someone who chose to lose, this isn't fair, to you or to him-- 

And your idol and hero looks at you, a smile plastered on his lips, and says, "Take it as a scar, then, something to look back on and learn from" and you stare and you scream that you don't want this you don't want this you dont want to win like this--

This is not how you want to be remembered, as the hero who won only because Shoto Todoroki pulled his punches, that label will ruin you, will ruin everything you've worked for, but your hero shoves a ribbon in your mouth because you won't let it slide over your head, and people's mouths are open and you can hear your friends whispering about the way you're acting and how rude and awful you're being and yet you're still just fifteen years old, and your teachers chained you to a cement post, and strapped a muzzle over your face, like you're a villain with a brainwashing quirk instead of a literal child, a minor, someone who legally can't drive a car in The United States of America, can’t drink in Japan, can’t join the army in France, can’t vote in Canada--

And later that night whenever they decide to let you free of the restraints, whenever they think you've learned your lesson, you realize that these were the heroes, that locked you up, these are the good guys, these are the people you're trusting. This was allowed, encouraged, and that no one is ever going to remember all the work you put in, today. They're only going to remember the chains and the screaming because you didn’t want this. They're going to see a spoiled brat instead of an angry child who put everything in and didn't understand why he wasn't getting treated like someone's equal, didn’t understand why he was considered less than someone he has always thought he was above, why he wasn't worth being fought like he had power, he did have power, he knows he had power because why would they muzzle him and chain him and-- 

And you're stuck, forever, with people looking up at you in shock and awe and terror because all they see is threats, painted across your face, and not power.

and for the rest of your life you will have to look back through your years and see a chained, muzzled, fifteen-year-old you, and realize that that is how you got to where you are, and that is where you started, and that is why you will never be the best, that is what's keeping you from succeeding, because you did what you always had to, you put everything in, and didn't know how to stop, or how to take a forfeit when you've only ever accepted the best from yourself, and you hate and you hate and you hate some more.

But at this point you don't know whether it's yourself you're hating or the people that made you wind up here.

[corpsentry]

january: an art retrospective

i did some stuff last month (but it’s a lot of stuff and there’s a photodump + some Serious Fucking Reflection, so it’s all below the cut)

so ok, let’s start with this. here are some heads. each head has a red arrow. that red arrow is what i call the red line of the devil. it’s the slope of the face from the side of the eye to the cheekbone and then down towards the chin. up until like 2 weeks ago, i couldn’t draw it. i couldn’t fucking draw it. i would edit over that part of the face over and over again until i was frustrated and tired and i had a raging homosexual headache and it still never looked right. notice that each head is different. notice that each head looks wrong.

at the start of 2021 i finally admitted to myself, as per the image above, that i was deeply, deeply unhappy with my art. what was the problem? i dunno. but i decided i was going to fix it and i was going to do so via another one scribble a day event wherein for every day of january i would find a photo of a human head, and i would draw it.

january 1st, 2021. i was embarrassed to tweet this even on my private account where like 5 friends and a rock would see it. in retrospect, you can also see all of my bad habits emerging like dicks from a hole in the ground. it’s disproportionate. the brows look flat. the eyes are slanting upwards. the entire drawing looks flat, like this isn’t a 3d person but a caricature of one.

january 2nd, 3rd, 4th:

on the 2nd i decided to start a separate thread for doodles and applied learning. here’s the first set of tests

the rest of the week is kind of uneventful so we’re going to skip those. fast forward to january 11th

this one is especially bad. i am acutely aware, suddenly, that i am not changing anything at all. i’m stressed and miserable about it because i’m still trying to see people as people and trying to draw people that look attractive and proportionate and hot. my friend, leny, reminds me that i need to think about faces in terms of planes. i have a moment. my other friend masha sends me some links to anatomy tutorials. i have another moment.

january 11th. applied sketch

january 13th is when i start the troubleshooting process. the link above drives me mad because i’m pretty happy with the face but then i realize that there’s something very fucking wrong with the shape of the head LOL and then i realize that i’ve never had any idea what the proportion of the face to the rest of the skull is so i grit my teeth and i open a new canvas and i

bald studies. it seemed like the right thing to do. can’t draw heads? ok draw some heads. look at some photographs. i traced each photo but tried to stick to straight lines so that i could replicate the shapes more easily. i broke each face down into shapes. i thought about airplanes

i got really excited. i started doing studies, then applied studies, then stylized studies.

sketches. i’m not sure what’s going on (as always) and it’s very rough, but they look different from the sketches i did on january 2nd. that’s a start

january 16th’s daily study. looks more like a person now. juuuuuust a bit

more applied studies

on the 18th i take a break and go stare at some lips because i don’t understand how the fuck they work. again, i focus on shapes, on volume, on the fact that these things exist in 3d. holy fuck lips exist in 3d. holy fuck we are real

january 19th. i’m working on it.

january 22nd. some sketches + a daily study. it has finally occurred to me that heads can tilt up and down and that things look different accordingly. yes i was not aware of this before. yes i have been drawing for over a decade.

january 23rd. by this point after doing my daily sketch i almost always go back and do an applied study which is basically to say i drew a lot of fucking links. this one looks kind of okay. i’m kind of proud

january 25th. links. trying to make sense of everything i’ve learned

26th, 27th, 28th. daily studies

january 1st. january 31st

The End Of The Photo Dump (dab)

ok NOW i get to talk about what i discovered while studying the shit out of human beings

FIRST OF ALL, there is something precious and magical about drawing shit without the explicit knowledge that you’re going to tweet that shit out to 45 people later. it takes the burden of perception off your shoulders and that does something to you, or at least that’s my theory. i told myself i wouldn’t post any of this stuff until the end of the month (if i wanted to post it at all) and kept everything off my public social media accounts and that meant i could draw ugly as hell without worrying about who would point and laugh, which i absolutely fucking did. a lot of these are fucking trainwrecks. most of these are fucking trainwrecks. why do they look like that?? why??? this doesn’t look like the work of someone who’s allegedly been drawing since they were in kindergarten, does it?????

here’s why: because that person took a huge motherfucking swing at everything they’d ever known about art and spent a month building something new in its place. the abstract explanation is that i grew up on shoujo and weird old anime and my understanding of anatomy was unironically kamichama karin and while i love kamichama karin, when kamichama karin is your rule even if you try to break it, you’re going to end up going nowhere. “you have to know the rules to break them”, yeah? well i didn’t know shit. the abstract explanation is i’ve been miserable about my art for a few years now because i saw other people doing things effortlessly which i couldn’t and instead of going back to the basics, i tried to do what they did (not plagiarism, mind you, i mean i literally tried to copy the red line of the devil i mentioned above because i couldn’t even make that happen) and then i fucking failed.

the simple explanation is this. i had to unlearn everything, and relearn it again (like some kind of new renaissance clown, what the fuck is this?)

take this for example. all my life i’ve drawn faces in the order: eyes, nose, mouth, face shape, head. this works for some people, im aware, but it was something central to how i had always drawn, so i decentralized it. i said fuck you to the old me and changed the order up. now i start with the nose, then the eyes, mouth, the chin line, and the sides of the face. now i force myself to think about the human head as a series of parts interacting with each other instead of a bunch of disparate features which i want to look pretty.

or let’s use this zelda from last year. something about this looked wrong last october, the way something about all of my drawings looked wrong, but i couldn’t pinpoint it for hell the way i couldn’t articulate Any of my feelings about the visual arts. now, looking back, here’s what i see. that nose is sticking out far too much given how she’s not really facing very far away from the camera. that ear at the back shouldn’t be there. her forehead is too big. she doesn’t have a forehead. what the fuck is up with the shape of her head?

so apparently reject modernity embrace tradition has its roots in alt-right terminology and i’m not very horny for the alt-right (you understand), but the spirit survives here. you know sometimes you have to admit that you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing and draw people for 31 days. i’ve spent my whole life drawing stylized people and while again there are artists who have no issue with this, i veered off the track of the Good and the Holy and couldn’t get back on. i had no point of reference because i’d never thought about what an actual human being looks like, so i had no way to fix what i knew in my gut looked wrong but wouldn’t come out better.

this was hard. this was like oikawa tooru swallowing his worthless pride and admitting that ushijima wakatoshi had gotten the best of him for the last time in his high school career, but in haikyuu!! by furudate haruichi oikawa tooru fucks off to argentina and then joins the argentinean national team, and you know what, i think i’ve made it to argentina (not the team just the country). as per the golden rule of dont fucking move until you’re at least two thirds of the way through the month, i only started trying to draw Shit shit on like the 22nd or something, but i was happy with that i created. i am happy with what i’ve done. i’ve posted like 2 things this month that involve people with what i now call ~applied Knowledge~~ and they’re, like, not perfect obviously (perfection is an unattainable ideal), but i’m fucking proud of them. i didn’t spend 5 hours hunched over my laptop adjusting the red line of the devil because it’s not a devil’s line anymore. because i finally sorta get how people work. because i sat down and i said ‘we are not going to fuck with this misery shit anymore’ and then i did that. it’s just a line now.

here are 2 collages tracking my painstakingly carved out progress from january 2nd to february 2nd because i’m a slut for collages

and here’s what i’ve done to my art! the same person drew these but also Not Really! you know! for the first time in a year i don’t immediately hate what i’ve drawn. you know what guys? art is fucking fun. zelda’s forehead doesn’t scare me anymore because i know how foreheads fucking work now, and i don’t know everything, and i’m going to keep troubleshooting stuff as i go (i want to draw a skeleton. like a. i want to draw a goddamn skeleton guys) but i’m honestly and genuinely proud of what i’ve done in the span of a month, and i’m also in disbelief. i started this month-long challenge out as a last ditch effort to make peace with my art because i’ve been tired for a long time and i was ready to kick the bucket on drawing people altogether. i didn’t think anything would happen. nothing’s happened for years. i’ve been miserable for years.

this was the caption for january 1st, 2021. i was super, super fucking embarrassed and it looks like super fucking shit, but you know what, i think i did in fact triumph over the bullshit. surprisingly enough, when you put in consistent effort into something, You Will See Results. didn’t see that coming, did you? i know i didn’t.

this isn’t a success story. it’s a happiness story. i never gave a shit damn about the institute of art or whatever, i was just mad at myself because what i saw in my head didn’t match up with what was on the canvas. and now it’s getting better. now i’m calibrating the compass. now drawing not just backgrounds but also people is exciting to me, and i can stick my links in your face and tell you ‘they hot’. i’m going to keep doing that. i’m going to keep going until i drop off the side of the earth and then spiral towards mars like some kind of fairy, and then i’m going to create something beautiful.

thanks for reading. here’s a pr department link for sticking around until the end

[perperam]

OKAY I saw your Instagram post things and I just want to know what are your headcanons for that universe?? Is there any specific AU you imagine the Instagram AUs happening in or do you have specific rules for your own ideal version or

somehow, surprisingly, you're not the only one to ask this !!

okay so funny story at first I literally just drew the instagram things bc I thought yeah harley would be so loved by all of internet generation gen z college kids (as an internet gen z recently graduated undergrad myself)

but then as I made the posts more and more intricate with the comments and stuff it kinda...grew into something bigger? like they actually have a particular AU for them now!! so that's fun

here's what I'm thinkin I want in my social media AU:

world building wise:

neither of them are really "heroes" but they aren't outright supervillains either—like they're anti-heroes that dont give a shit about corporate & capitalist culture

aka they can, have, and will continue to steal from big market names and threaten CEOs, but will also pool money to pay small business and support local folks

much like the vibes of the harley quinn animated series, harley and the rest are literally Just People and go to coffee shops and just hang out in public (the fuck is GCPD gonna do for them drinking coffee, send em to Arkham??)

this makes them really well liked by Gotham's general public

also because ivy has and will kill rapists and bad men on sight and harley has on more than one occasion been linked to crimes where abusers have mysteriously turned up dead or beat to a pulp with a blunt object suspiciously shaped like a bat or sledgehammer

there's this specific tattoo shop harley really likes that she goes to whenever she wants a new piece done, and because of her instagram they've become the most popular place in Gotham, in fact if you go there on any given day you have a 25% chance of seeing harley

also I wasn't kidding when I said harley really would have her own psychiatry clinic and continue to treat people (mostly college kids and criminals) for free because harley says fuck the US health care system and helping others would be really fulfilling to her

harley advertising on her instagram story: hey yall I'll be having a trauma processing session tonight at my clinic please stop by if you want to make an appointment or listen to my lecture

oh also harley has a podcast and the episodes vary from "workout routine" to "breaking the glass ceiling of female supervillains and the male gaze in crime" to "why stealing is sometimes okay" to "studying for the mcat and quick tips" to "perhaps marx was right" to random tangents that go on and on and on

pam on the other hand is not only a feared ex-supervillain but now a revered member of Gotham's city-revitalization planning committee

in between heists for rare floral specimen she plans climate protests and tree-planting events and in general does her damn best to try and bring some sort of green to Gotham in a "legal fashion" (a news source once said this and ivy almost killed the news anchor on the fucking spot from how much rage pumped through her veins in that moment)

characters & dynamics wise:

harley and ivy have been living together and literally married for like, a year now by this point

selina is over so often she might as well be living at their apartment

the gotham city sirens and the batkids are besties!! as they should be (this used to stress bruce out to no end but after the third family dinner dick planned with "aunty harls and pam" he had to eventually give up)

in fact jason and harley often get involved in stupid shenanigans and dick is almost always there with them and literal seconds from being implicated in their scheme somehow

jason is often at harley and ivy’s apartment and can greatly relate to harley in many different ways (from growing up in a crime riddled neighborhood to having intense trauma courtesy of the joker and ivy finds it endearing that he trusts harley enough to let people in (and there is a visible, tangible change in him after he starts getting closer to harley, everyone can feel how much happier he becomes)

harley and ivy are 28 and 32 respectively but because ivy literally has the interests and name of a 90 year old everyone just teases her by calling her "grandma pamela"

the batkids refer to them as aunty harley and aunty (sometimes grandma) ivy and ivy fights every time for a different name but just gave up sometime after tim joined in

ivy and tim get along really well, surprisingly

also alfred literally loves pam because she helps the plants in bruce's neglected green house thrive and ivy really enjoys his company because he's on the same wave length as her and "knows when to shut the fuck up and just bask in the quiet unlike literally all other men"

I think I want babs and dinah to be dating bc have you seen their chemistry and dick and kori to be dating bc again have you seen their chemistry but I'm kinda torn and in between and idk

bud and lou are great cuddle bugs and ivy secretly loves it but pretends she hates it to harley's face bc a girl's gotta save some semblance of dignity right

details:

harley has adhd and you can't convince me, someone with adhd, otherwise

harley has both shitty tattoos that she gets for no other reason other than that it's funny or that she hyperfixates on them super hard for half a second and suddenly there's art on her again and ivy's just ?? when she gets home. she also really meaningful tattoos that she has multiple consultations about

she had two ribcage tattoos before the joker, got three tattoos commemorating him during their (highly abusive) relationship which she immediately covered with new ink upon leaving him, and gets a lot of patchwork style tattoos down her arms and thighs

she has a giant flower tattoo going down her entire spine and it's ivy's favorite thing ever

ivy actually also has a (singular) tattoo and it's a diamond with a stem and leaves as if it were a flower

it's still very much a work in progress but since multiple people have asked me about this I thought I'll dump all my thoughts here

[lucidpantone]

So I need to talk Italia, since lbr it’s the only Skam worth discussing.

Assuming we’ve got our Elia season (feels pretty likely given the everything we have seen) what do you think the general theme of the season could be?

We know he was after a place to stay end of S4…but I honestly can’t remember much else about him other than that he will potentially be oldest Skam main we’ve had?!

Bit of a blank canvas.

What do you hope to see?

Hahahaha I bet no one ever thought the day would come when your saying skam italia is the only remakes worth investing in hahahaha.

So funny enough am rewatching skam italia slowly since its been awhile and i want to remember all the tidbits.

I feel like Elia may be like a italian basil/emma story. Elia has always been kinda of just there meandering aimlessly without a real plan for life. He doesnt have a defined journey but he also hasn't showed a ton of interest in anything. Clearly he was super interested in moving in with flippo and get out on his own but then I found him so strange in Sana's season like the crush disclosure was so clumsy and slightly offensive to Sana but it was also like woah what?!?!?! Elia has felt like this for Sana for how long. That storyline made me realize we really have no idea whats going on in elia's head at all. I feel like the rest of the italian boysquad are way more defined with Elia he def is a blank canvas where it could go in any direction because we really dont know whats effecting him. I do think he failed or something happened in school because we know they are using the school for shooting. Unless he is like teacher assistant but once again when the hell did Elia even express liking education. Its really gonna be a blank state I do think his family life is gonna get more unraveled tho and we will finally see whats been effecting him this entire time. Ahhh can't wait to see the old gang. I am really sorta of over the new gen skam and just want to sit on my couch cushing over all the OGs. I missed them!

[twink-frank]

hi i’ve noticed the pencey prep gay conversation going on over on @awsugar and i have spent lots of time dissecting pencey prep lyrics and subjecting nathan @faggot-frank to my deranged ramblings so Here is my pencey prep super ultra mega gay lyrical analysis masterpost. it’s very long so its all under the cut but i will include a TL;DR for those who dont wanna read paragraphs of my deranged ramblings: Pencey prep uses lots of themes of: heartbreak, forbidden love, keeping love a secret, and toxic relationships. which none of that is gay on its own but combined with them almost never using gender indicators in their songs and the “nail in the coffin song” of 8th grade it ends up being a very Fruity Album.

I will be going through heart break in stereo in order and pointing out which lyrics and elements of certain songs jump out to me as Super Mega Gay and then summarizing my conclusions at the end <3

1 ) PS Don't Write

PS don't write is about leaving a toxic relationship, it has notes of moving on and leaving someone behind. "packed up all my shit / stole back all my tapes / left your spare key under the mat / this is not a joke / you'd better learn to take a hint / 'cause i'm not coming back / maybe you'll understand / when you're waking up alone / in a cold and empty bed." it has no gender indicators or pronouns which is the case in a lot of pencey prep songs, and something i'll bring up quite a bit. it also has general "coming of age" themes, something common in lots of pencey prep songs. which Yeah apply to straight people to but read in this context combined with future evidence can be pretty Fuckin Gay. "somewhere along the line / i found a hidden strength / i didn't know i had / standing on my own / cutting all the strings / that you used to control / surprise surprise / i am long gone / if you thought you could hold me down / by holding me up / you were wrong / you don't call the shots anymore." not to say only gay people can find inner strength and the room to love themselves but combined with other context it is a really poignant message about accepting yourself for who you are.

2) Yesterday

Yesterday is very repetitive and has a lot less to analyze, but the constant themes of wanting to "run away" strike me as very Fruity. once again, not saying gay people are the only people who can want to run away or escape from something But Combined With Other Context. and once again a song with no gender indicators, doesnt specify who the speaker is running away with or what they are running away from. just that they want to Leave. "i wanna run with you / i don't care what we do / gotta get out of this place / because it feels like yesterday." also saying "it feels like yesterday" could mean that the town feels backwards or old timey in its beliefs, implying homophobia. how the speaker wants to run away from an old fashioned town.

3) Don Quixote

i'm going to bring up the cultural significance of this title and literary reference first. Don Quixote is a classical novel by Cervantes which is about a crazy dude who thinks he's a knight, and goes on weird adventures with his best friend. It's typically used as a symbol of following your dreams and breaking free from what people expect of you. In the context of the song its used as a symbol of following your dreams with Someone. once again this someone is given no gender indicators. "you say it's not worth it / been burned too many times / if your spine's receding / you can borrow some of mine / don't go and quit right now / cause i'd follow you through hell." "you say so many things / and not a word of it was true / if you're still in that state of mind / i'd still vacation inside of you / cause i think you're worth every minute / and every dime that i spend / i'd spend all my time fighting dragons / just to keep you alive and talking." it's about wanting to spend time with someone, wanting to be with them no matter what. and its also about how this person feels unreachable, like being with them would be a fairytail but the speaker Still Reaches for it. "your imaginations running wild / round your deceptive heart / this is my crusade / and you're the unreachable star / but i'm reaching." talking about this person being unreachable and unattainble. which isnt gay By Itself  but again combined with the other context. FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

4) 10 Rings

another breakup song once again with no gender indicators, are you guys sensing a theme here? anyways this song is about someone cutting you off and then coming back suddenly wanting to talk again after breaking your heart. it has a sense of forbidden love, like this person Told the speaker they cant be together for Whatever Reason ;] and is now trying to come back and repair their mistake when the speaker is already hurt and reeling. "learn to live with decisions you make / i learned things from the break i can't forget / catch you doing drive-bys at 1 AM / it must kill you to know we can't be friends." "end of the summer you cut me off / i cut you out all the pictures i have." which this Isnt Gay By Itself. but bringing that phrase back with other context this is such a uniquely gay experience. being in love with someone and they cut you off Because theyre weirded out by that and then they try to come back, convince you it meant nothing.

5) The Secret Goldfish

my FAVORITE pencey song. this one has a lot. it's another breakup song about heartbreak and loss and im not even gonna dwell on the no gender indicators because yall see the theme now. it has themes of heartbreak and losing someone who is very close to you and having to let go of them and having to accept that this person cant be yours and you cant be with them. "land of the lost / i found myself in nothing / this time, promises broken find me / clutching to you for something / something that you're not / believing in what you say / it makes me lie awake at night / the truth, the truth is not what scares me / it's why you have to lie / all the time." here we see these themes of having to let someone go because they just Aren't The Same as you. "clutching to you for something / something that you're not." maybe like chasing after a straight boy and getting rejected? also the repetition of "heartbreak is forever" when you're young and gay losing that first person you felt some kind of love and attraction to can feel like the end of the world and can be a huge deal because of the lack of representation and guidance young gays get. and the themes of nothing lasting forever, the fact that gay people never get promised eternal love the same way straight people do.

6) 8th Grade

this song is the nail in penceys fucking coffin honestly. the rest of these songs have a lot of plausible deniability, just vague enough to maybe Not Be Gay. but framed in the context of 8th grade they all start to get a lil fruity. Im just gonna go through lyric by lyric for this one. "caught staring again / like a deer in the headlights / when you can't move fast enough / i take a hit for the team / pretty girl is blushing / i can't tell if she's disgusted / laughter starts to swell / someone gets the joke." this kid was staring at some cute boy ass and got caught and everyone is laughing at him for being gay. the "pretty girl" here is what most people think he's staring at but with the rest of the song it's obvious she's not the one he's looking at. "bells ring, i make my escape / helps a little, but doesn't save / beat downs a common thing / with us every day / maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools / so maybe i like the abuse / or maybe i just like you." literally This is the nail in penceys fucking coffin. "maybe i like the abuse or maybe i just like you." this kid purposefully takes beatings from his bully who is Obviously male if you take into context the next verse. because he Likes Him. "maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools" literally willingly taking beatings from his bully bc he has a crush. "another confrontation / you've got something to prove / your girl can't tell how tough you are / when you beat me up in the boys room." this just confirms that the subject of the song is a boy, and a tough macho boy with something to prove. maybe also hiding his own internalized homophobia through bullying? "well i made a big mistake / but i can't help who i like / this may not cost my life / but i am branded forever lame." LITERALLY ITS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. "can't help who i like" "branded forever lame" do i even need to fucking explain this oh my god. he got outed as gay, he Can't Help Who He Likes and is now branded forever as "the gay kid." the rest of the song is general "im gonna get back at my bully" stuff but literally THIS. THIS is the song that brands all penceys other very vague songs as 100% verified super mega ultra gay.

7) 19

this song has a lot less, and is more about internal struggle than anything. but it is the only song with a "she" pronoun in it. but there is one thing i wanna mention. "I scream out loud / but no one hears a sound / i take my life with lack of sleep / i believe the things i feel / the things i see are fooling only me." this song is about not believing what the world shows you, believing what you think is true in your heart and what You feel. not what anyone else tells you. which is a gay experience. believing in yourself and your heart and your feelings, believing theyre right and theyre true and valid. Also this song has a significance in coming right after 8th grade on the album, going from being 13 to 19, from being unsure in your feelings and angry about the people who dont like you to lost and hopeless but somewhat grounded in yourself.

8) Trying To Escape The Inevitable

this song is about an abusive and toxic relationship, knowing you Need to escape it but being so infatuated with the person you literally cant. “i have this reoccurring dream / you make it hard for me to breathe / i gave you everything i could / i gave up everything i owned / and when you smile it’s not for me / you offer little sympathy / your grasp so far exceeds your reach / i wake up, this is not a dream.” “i have this reoccuring dream / where you admit that you’re not happy / i know that you will never leave / you’re here just to torment me.” which like again this isnt an exclusively gay experience but it is very interesting when framed that way. in that gay people are way more likely to throw themselves into abusive and toxic relationships because they dont feel like they can get anybody else. the repetition of “i know i should run” makes it seem like the speaker Knows he should get out but he just Cant because what if he never finds love again? and the little reprise in the middle “i have a new dream / and everything is perfect / the sky is pink, yellow, green, blue, and orange / and all the past has been forgotten / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and i fell into your trap.” implying that even if he escapes, even in his dreams he still falls for this person because he feels like he cant have anything else.

9) Lloyd Dobbler

another love song about wanting to have someone but not being able to because of Unspecified Forbidden Reasons. “why are you so far away / even when you’re standing next to me? / your eyes give you away / telling secrets your mouht don’t feel like talking.” falling in love with someone, maybe sensing that they like you too. that they Are Like You and that they have a Secret they dont want to vocalize. do i even need to explain it at this point? and in the chorus “That I’ll be your lloyd dobbler / with a boom box out in the street / and i’ll be there if you need someone / even if he isn’t me.” saying you’ll be there for someone even if that person isn’t you, also the use of Pronouns which is big for pencey prep. which yes the use of “even if he isnt me” could imply a straight girl ooorrr....Fruit Behavior. also this line “There’s a norman rockewll painting / of two kids sitting on a bench / it reminds me of all the stupid things / i’d like for us to share, but i dont care.” normal rockwell is a painter that paints traditionally “american” scenes. like the american ideal, that maybe he wants with this person. but he knows he cant have, but its stupid and domestic and he wants it but he Cant Have It because of FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

10) Florida Plates

another of my favorite pencey songs, and this one brings back those tragic “love but we cant have it” themes, except with a more somber tone. instead of being angry or resentful or spiteful in the face of adversity. its an Acceptance, of what they had and how good it was and how it just Cant Last. “kiss a mouth to open eyes / stall one last moment before goodbye / drive in different cars in different directions / never write all the letters full of good words, better intentions / it’s for the best although we don’t know it / paper words will cheapen the moments we shared / it’s better if i say nothing at all.” it’s about knowing you have to leave someone, even if having them in the moment is great they Can’t Stay and you can’t even talk or write about the moments you had. which do i even need to explain it at this point? forbidden love, not being able to have each other, not even being able to Talk about it. its a secret, and painful one but its beautiful while you have it. Conclusion alright!!! thank you so so much if you read all the way through that i Know it was long i Know it was a lot of repetition but i wanted to make my point. pencey prep has very big gay themes in their music. with forbidden love, letting go, heartbreak, keeping secrets, toxic realtionships. which none of it is gay on its own but in the context of: almost none of the songs having clear gender indicators and always speaking really vaguely about the subject and Eight Grade the “nail in the coffin song” you can see my point thank you and goodnight.

[vemuabhi]

GHOST CONTRACT

Pairing : Eustass Kidd X Captain! Ghost! Reader

Requested by PalmTV (wattpad)

Warnings : A slight bit of Angst but mostly fluff, mention of blood and needle

Summary : Kidd tries to summon a sprit on an island very popular for its hauntings. As nothing happens he just calls it bull and continues his journey. But on verge of death, the sprit comes and saves him. Turns out, the sprit is a very powerful Captain when they were alive. Slowly Kidd and Reader fall in love but, will they be able to stay together?

A/N : I hope you like it. Eustass is one of my favourite and this is a new concept.

"So, if we just do what you said, we could summon the sprit. Am i right?", Kidd asked his first mate who just finished his explanation on how to summon the ghost captain.

Kidd Pirates docked on a very well known island which was apparently haunted by sprits of a deadly pirate crew who died in a battle on the island. Its been many years since that incident and its famous to perform contracts with the sprits. Its considered a myth and no one truly knows if its true or not.

"Kidd, I don't know of its true or not, but its really famous for people trying to summon sprits. But it needs to be precise. Even a second difference can make the complete thing not work itseems", said the masked man to his red head captain as everyone drank booze in the bar.

"Seems interesting. Rven though I don't believe in that kind of sprits and stuff", scoffed Kidd as he chugged the remaining booze from his glass.

At sharp 3 am, the captain and his firstmate went to the lake where the summoning should be taken place. Kidd stood close to the water and Killer kept close look at the pocket watch. Kidd took a needle from his metallic arm and slowly pierced it on his index finger till he saw a drop of his blood.

Killer kept looking at the pocket watch and as soon as he saw it was 3:13 he exclaimed, "Now!", then Kidd shook his finger making the blood fall into the lake.

They waited curiously for a minute. 'Anytime from now', kidd thought as he waited for another 5 minutes... and another..... and another.

Its been more than 15 minutes and Kidd was already getting irritated. "Bogus bull, Lets go Killer", he walked as his masked mate followed him behind.

"Tsk... even though I didn't believe it, I wanted something to happen", Kidd whined as Killer just sighed in response.

The next day Kidd Pirates continued their journey to another island. The weather was good and the path was clear. Just when the crew thought they won't be having any obstacles, suddenly they felt a yellow beam shoot their ship.

Kidd and Killer looked in the direction from where the beam came and saw that there was a big Marine boat with the Navy Admiral Kizaru on it. They were really far away from the marine ship but how accurately Kizaru shot the beam made the crew tense a bit, but that wasn't the case with the captain.

Kidd smiled widely and was ready to tackle and fight Kizaru. Soon everyone began to fight with the marines and Kidd started to fight with Kizaru. He was more stronger now but, Kizaru wasn't the Navy Admiral for nothing. After fighting for a while, Kizaru shot Kidd near his heart, making the latter feel immense pain. His Blood was all around him.

"KIDDD!!", shouted the masked mate as he saw his captain so hurt.

Just when Kizaru was about to step on Kidd, he felt a strong force hold him back, he wasn't able to move.

Within seconds all the marines were thrown off the Victoria Punk. Kizaru tried really hard to stop the force but... he couldn't. It was immensely powerful. Atlast after trying so much to not fall into the sea, Kizaru's efforts ended in vain. He was thrown. A marine soldier caught Kizaru when he was drowning. The admiral gasped for air then a fellow marine said "What did just happen? It was incredible power". To which Kizaru answered, "It definitely... wasn't one of the Kidd Pirates. They were really injured and there wasn't anyone who was like that on the pirate ship", he took a deep breath then continued, "Anyway, lets retreat for now". With that the marines went back.

Kidd was treated as some of the other members repaired the ship and some cleaned the place.

"What exactly happened?", heat asked Killer who was also thinking the same as they waited for their captain wake up. "I honestly don't know. Not to sound silly but...It was as if... magic?", replied Killer. Then it hit him. The summoning of the sprit. Then his captain woke up bringing the blond out of his thoughts. Kidd sat with the help of Killer and then he saw an unfamiliar person, in the corner of the room. He noticed that you had (hair colour) hair and had (eye colour) sharp eyes.

"Who the hell are you?", Kidd asked you as he looked straight into your eyes.

"Firstly introduce yourself", you replied stearnly making him girt his teeth.

"Whats wrong Kidd?", Killer asked Kid with worry.

"Huh?", Kidd questioned and said, "That person right there", he said making Heat and Killer confused.

"Oh, by the way, you can only see me. No one else", you said, now making Kidd confused.

You raised your eyebrow and asked him, "Don't tell me you forgot the fight with the marines and your near death experience".

After you mentioned it, Kidd's thoughts became more clear. Yes, there was something wrong with that battle. He knew it was not normal.

"That was by me", you said making your way towards the red head. You passed through Heat while you came towards the captain. He was shocked to see you do that.

Heat gasped making Killer hold the latters shoulder.

"What's wrong Heat?", tbe blond asked as he held Heats shoulder evenmore tightly.

"I... i don't know... I... just felt like a very cold shiver ran through my body for a second", he admitted.

"What did you do to him?", Kidd asked you making the other two give him puzzled expression.

"He is fine. Just tell him to sleep for now and ask them to leave if you wanna talk to me", you said to Kidd as you sat on a chair beside Kidd.

"You both, leave for now. Heat take rest.", Kidd ordered and the two men left the room. He turned towards you and asked, "Now tell me who are you? Im Eustass Kidd, the captain of this pirate group".

"Oh, Kidd, I am Y/N, I'm the captain of the (crew name) pirates", you said.

"But... I heard that",

"We died", you finished his sentence as you looked down. You sighed and said, "We died during a fight near an island and... I... was the only one who didn't find... peace. I guess I... am being punished", you said as you fake chuckled and looked at him.

"So, you are here and are visible to me, because I summoned you?", he asked and you nodded. He smirked and said, "So now you are to submit to me".

"Over my body", you said.

"You are already dead", he wined

"I don't care. I won't submit. Its not how I am", you straightened your back.

"Tch... how arrogant", he sighed then continued, "So... how about an alliance?"

"An alliance... thats sounds good", you smiled at him making his heart skip a beat.

'What the hell was that', Kidd thought then said, "Dont.. Dont betray me!"

You stood up and came closer to him, making him gulp. "I will never betray you Kidd", you said seriously as you looked deep into his eyes. He got a warm feeling when you said it and then he averted his eyes from you.

"Okay", he said with his cheeks turned pink.

"Awww, are you blushing. So adorable", you started to tease him as he shouted at you to stop doing that.

Its been a very long time since someone talked to you or looked at you. So that emotion hit you suddenly. "Hey.. hey.. what.. what happened?", he asked you.

Then you noticed that were crying. This was a pleasant feeling for you.

"Nothing to worry about", you wiped your tears and continued, "its just that... its been a very, very long time since someone talked to me".

He didn't make fun of you. He just stared at you silently. You regained your composture and smiled at him.

Kidd confessed everything to Killer and given everything which happened before, and also with his analysis, he believed every word of Kidd.

You said and did funny things while Kid was with everyone making it hard for him to hold his laughter. Sometimes you teased him and made him super embarrassed. You got yourself a... friend, who you could talk to now. So you were really happy.

When Kidd was with Killer, he was more free when talking to you or laughing out loud. Because Killer knew about you and he sometimes joined in the conversation. Kid would repeat your lines to Killer and in that way, sometimes you and Killer talked using Kidd. For which he would get pissed off a lot. You slowly fell in love with Kidd but didn't confess. Because he was a human and you were a sprit. You wanted him to be with someone, who can touch him, whom he can show to other people, with whom he could laugh out loudly without any obstacles and mostly a person who could become old with him. So you tried to avoid it as much as possible. Little did you know, Kidd was also in love with you and every time he saw a shooting star he wished you to be able to touch you. Not in a perverted way ofcourse. He really wanted to hug you and protect you. But he didn't say his feelings. He wanted to achieve his goal before doing that.

With you being invisible, had so many advantages. If anyone was plotting against Kidd, you'd tell it to him first and let him and Killer take action. You didnt need to sleep, so took the night shift every night and let everyone sleep peacefully, as you took care of the ship.

After some years and the end of the journey of Kidd pirates, he confessed that be liked you. His cheeks turned into his hair colour when he did it. You became so happy and said you felt the same making his smile widen. You then felt something in your body. As if something was changing.

"Y/N you are glowing. What is happening?", he asked you.

"I... i don't know", you said with a worried expression. He came towards you and tried to touch you. Your eyes widened as he was astounded. He was able to touch you. You were able to feel his warm hand on your skin. He was as amazed as you were. He pulled you into his embrace as he held you close. You could hear his heart beating fast. You could feel him. You could touch him. He then kissed you on your lips and you returned his love. Then your body stopped glowing. But you were still in his arms. You both were scared to let go, as if you won't be able to touch him after you let him go. Then you both heard a sound. You both looked at the source and it was none other than Killer. He dropped his weapon on the ground. His mask didn't show what expression he was having.

So you said to Kidd, "Ask him, what happened".

"I can see you, Y/N", the blond replied.

"What? Are you? Serious?", you asked him. Killer came closer to you and placed his hand on your head. He... he was also able to touch you. Your eyes widened as his hand made contact with your hair.

"Y/N, are you now alive? You are even breathing", he said making you realise that indeed. You were breathing now. Like a normal human being. Your eyes welled up and you hugged Kidd. He was so excited to just touch you and now you were... alive somehow. What miracle was that.

Killer joined you two and you three gave a group hug. "I can become old with Kidd and lead a simple life. Atlast you are able to see me Killer. I wanted to talk to you without involving Kidd everytime", you said as you squeezed them two tightly.

"Apparently... your strength is the... same", Killer said making you laugh. You were now alive again. Another chance at life was given to you. So you were very grateful. You appreciated and loved every single moment with Kidd. You treasured all the moments deeply. And for the first time, you could talk directly to Killer. So you thanked every moring you woke up from the sleep you missed. You smiled more brightly and were more happy than before.

XOXOXOXO

I hope you Liked it.

If you want to support me please Like, Comment and Reblog / tag people. Thankyou for reading.

[zenosanalytic]

Growing Up is Hard; It’s Hard and Nobody Understands

So I noticed netflix has Neon Genesis Evangelion up last week and started watching it front to back for the first time ever(this happens to have coincided with me being in a down-mood for your edification, dear readers u_u), finished it today, REALLY liked it, and I wanted to try my hand at explaining what the hell is even going on in NGE cuz it actl seemed super-clear to me(a person who has been consuming NGE analysis and post-NGE media for literally 25 years) u_u

Surface Plot; Or NERV: What the Hell Is It?

I’ll try to make this as brief as possible: An organization of super-wealthy individuals calling itself Seele(looking this up, it means soul in german) wants to possess the power of God. The final third or so of the series is clear on this; it’s all about power. Ikari Yui, a geneticist, is recruited by this organization, and her husband Gendo(having taken her name which says a LOT given typical Japanese practice) comes with her. In seeking out this power, they discover a hollow sphere underneath Antarctica(”The White Moon”), send an expedition there under the guise of the UN, encounter an entity with this power which they label an “Angel”, and do SOMETHING which prompts it to explode the continent flooding the earth and killing half the population(that Gendo left beforehand implies this may have been intentional, or that a bad outcome to Seele’s approach was easy to predict, tho in typical Gendo fashion, his is the only ass he cared to save).

Afterwards Seele blame the scientists for this outcome and send Gendo on a salvage mission which recovers both remains of the Angel, now dubbed “Adam”, and a device they dub “the spear of Longinus”. Seele creates Gehirn to study these remains for practical use; they clone “Adam” and dub the result Evas(Eves). Having cloned them, they now need a way to use and control them as the Evas are non-responsive. They hit on the idea of injecting people into them via the Entry Plug system, presumably to act as a brain. The first person to try this, Ikari Yui, was absorbed by the Eva(Unit 01); the second(Soryu Kyoko Zeppelin; Asuka’s mother) was partially psychologically absorbed by Unit 02, psychologically and mentally injured by this, institutionalized, abandoned by her shit USian husband Langley who remarried to her LEAD DOCTOR, and eventual kills herself in a hanging which Asuka either is the first to discover or, given her memories of promising to die with her/begging her not to do it, was present for. An important thing to note about this: Shinji and Asuka’s ability to sync with their Evas comes from the fact that their mothers are PART of their Eva’s identity, and all of their classmates are potential pilot-candidates. The implication here is that Seele KNEW this happened when you put adults into an Angel, and they KEPT DOING IT ANYWAY to create more pilots, but there’s no confirmation of that in series.

After the attempt at human adult control fails, Gendo combines Yui’s DNA with Adam’s and creates Rei. At the same time he is doing this another team, under Akagi Naoko, is developing Magi, a biomechanical computer for simulating the human mind(again: certain implication to this re: Evas though the series never says anything). Naoko is romantically interested in Gendo, and they start getting together(Gendo’s too much of an asshole to be said to date, I think). After Rei, a toddler, tells her Gendo calls her an “old woman” in private, not realizing this is insulting, Naoko kills her, then kills herself out of shame over having MURDERED A CHILD, and Gehirn is folded into a new organization, NERV, which Gendo is put in charge of. Rei forms the basis of the second attempt at controlling the Evas; child-pilots.

How they use Rei for this I’m not exactly sure. It could be because Rei is cloned from Yui(she easily syncs with Unit 01 before Shinji bonds with it completely), or because she’s part Angel via her Adam element(Kaworu says Angels merge with one another easily and naturally), or it could be they did something with Rei I’s corpse and Unit 00(I dont see how as it seems to require a LIVE pilot). Regardless, she is raised to be the pilot for 00, the prototype. MUCH later, when the rest of the Angels finally decide to come looking for Adam, Shinji is called in, and after his success Asuka(who like Rei and unlike Shinji has been training to pilot her whole life) is called to Nerv headquarters(under Japan, in the “Black Moon”; a second spherical hollow where they found another Angel they call Lilith) too.

Regardless the child-pilots are only a step in Nerv and Seele’s plans, as Rei is ALSO the template for the Dummy Plug system, the final step in complete control of Eva units. To put it simply, the Dummy Plugs are Rei-clones without her personality or memories, and will just do whatever the heck they’re ordered to. At least once during the series(and I’d argue two, possibly three times) Rei dies and is replaced by one of these clones through some process, which involves what looks like a pre 00 Eva’s spine and probably a Magi-like backup, which transfers her personality and memories into the new body.

So what is Nerv? Well it’s hard to say EXACTLY because Gendo is in some sort of conflict with Seele(and I want to keep my watches of End of Evangelion out of this post; to focus entirely on JUST NGE itself) and Nerv IS Gendo, but as the series states repeatedly it’s an attempt to control the future of humanity by controlling what they call “the power of god” which, given that it’s what most distinguishes the “Angels”, is the AT, or “Absolute Terror”, Field. What is the AT Field? It’s a field that can make or unmake any kind of matter or energy from basically nothing, and it also seems to have a strong tie to what you could call the Ego; to desires and sense-of-self. An AT Field gets stronger when the person generating it is experiencing powerful emotions; Confidence, sure, but also Fear, Abandonment, the Will to Live, and Anger.

That last bit is very important. Why? Strong AT Field effects require a powerful emotional motivation in the pilot combined with high sync-rates with the Eva(basically a lobotomized Angel-clone) generating the Field. The three pilots we meet, the Strongest candidates, are all exceedingly traumatized people, and Gendo is the direct cause of the trauma of two of them. At no point in the series is Gendo ever a good father to Shinji, he is CONSTANTLY unreasonable, neglectful, and cruel to him; he’s kinder to Rei but at the same time her loneliness, the state of her “home”, and her lack of self worth shows that he rarely interacts with her outside of missions or explains what’s going on beyond bald facts; and he COMPLETELY ignores Asuka, a deeply lonely child with a history of abandonment and close brushes with death; he even delegates bumping her from the program. This point is important because it’s important to recognize that Gendo is a bad dad on PURPOSE; that he instrumentalizes his bad dadness to traumatize Shinji(and Rei and Asuka, though sadly the series doesn’t focus on them enough for us to see much) as much as he can, because he thinks that trauma, that emotional instability and anger, MAKES SHINJI A MORE USEFUL PILOT; ie lets him generate more powerful AT Fields. This is never said clearly, but it’s clearly what’s going on as forcing Unit 01(and thus Shinji) into awful, heartbreaking, life-threatening situations is vital to his plan. Gendo’s a piece of shit, and I want ppl to recognize just HOW BIG a piece of shit he is, because I feel this powerfully.

And for what? For Power. To be “God”. To get the highest numbers. To generate the MOST Invincible Invincibility Shield. For Ridiculous, Absurd, Childish reasons. For, you know, the same reasons rich and powerful people do all the fucked up shit they do in the real world where giant magic robots thankfully DONT exist.

And how do they plan to do this? Through “Human Instrumentation”, which will literally kill everyone by turning them all into goo.

Metaplot; Or “SHINJI! Don’t Get in that Robot!!”

So, maybe this is just because(as said previously) I’ve been reading NGE Analysis and consuming media which NGE heavily inspired for ~25 years, but I think it’s old hat at this point to note that Neon Genesis Evangelion is ALSO an allegory for becoming an adult, centered on Shinji. However, it’s just really SO on the nose in this, so PERFECT as such a narrative, that I want to run through it real quick. Also: A Cruel Angel’s Thesis is basically a thesis-statement for this series; please check out the lyrics.

So Shinji is living under the guardianship of a teacher(yup: this series even takes a swing at how our society uses schools to warehouse kids so their parents can waste their lives producing “Value” instead of raising them), when the shitty dad that abandoned him decides he has a use for him after all and calls him up.

On meeting with a child he has not seen SINCE HE WAS A TODDLER LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM ON THE STREET WHEN HIS MOTHER DIED he immediately ambushes him with the command that he get in a huge body(that he grow up) to do what? Whatever Gendo tells him to, but specifically: commit acts of violence for Gendo and Seele’s profit. He tells him this will protect people; meanwhile doing it destroys those peoples’ literal homes. The rest of the series is a series of monotonous, incomprehensible “Tests” judging his, and his peers, worthiness for approval and affection on the basis of how well they can use those giant bodies to do what Gendo tells them(so: capitalist work), punctuated by unpredictable, brutal, traumatizing, and physically dangerous events(so: capitalist work). Every friend, and the one lover, he meets, he is placed in unnecessary, destructive competition with and, when they are male, forced to attack and(in the case of the one lover, Kaworu) kill them; this last comment on homophobia is so stark and obvs I don’t even feel like you can CALL it subtext, even IF it plays out over mostly a single episode(honestly this plotline should have been given more time). And all the time they’re doing this, they must ALSO continue going to school and maintaining the front that they’re happy smiley Heroes, completely normal and not traumatized at all, and Nerv and the government that lets them run this city is a great and wonderful organization. Is this not what becoming an adult, over your teens and 20s, feels like?

And then there’s Seele and Nerv. Able to move state governments as they wish, Seele CAUSED Second Impact(Global Warming). By not returning Adam’s remains, they’re CAUSING the Angel attacks on Nerv meant to retrieve them(the threat of Human extinction). The Angels eventually begin trying to communicate and Nerv’s response? Destroy them before they can; blow up the Evas(and their pilots) if they succeed. And to top it all off Seele and Nerv are actually trying to CAUSE the very extinction(Third Impact) they claim to be preventing! Seele and Nerv are just SUCH good metaphors for capitalism in our modern day.

The transwoman reading of Shinji also seems pretty dang strong to me, though I’ll only deal with it shallowly. Shinji is the only “male” of all the pilots. Outside of command and security, most Nerv staff are women. Being an Eva pilot, being Nerv staff, is marked as “feminine”, and Shinji is an Eva pilot; is a Nerv staffer. The body he gets into, Unit 01, acts as a metaphor for the large, imposing, masculine body he’s expected to have as an adult “man”, yet it’s also spiritually his mom -feminine- and his ability to use it is tied DIRECTLY with his ability to “Sync” with that spirit; with his ease and comfort being feminine. Even at the level of mere aesthetics, Shinji’s plugsuit makes him appear to have breasts! Going a bit deeper, he initially relates to the women around him by relating to their gender. He’s most at ease with Rei because of the personality traits she shares with him which, we know from his gender-policing of Misato from earlier in the series, are traits he considers feminine(ie: he doesn’t feel like Misato has them, so he thinks she’s being a woman “wrong” and gets oddly offended by this in a way that really feels more about him than her). Asuka is constantly expressing her frustration with him for not “being a man”, ie, for being “feminine” in her eyes, and he isn’t really bothered by it(her calling him an idiot seems to stick much more firmly). Misato and Shinji establish a modus vevendi when she accepts him as he is, allowing him to do the household chores and to cook; he’s comfortable and happy when accepted into roles his culture considers feminine, while most of the series is him bucking AGAINST the masculinity forced on him by Nerv, his father, and others. Again: this is a very surface-level engagement with the subject, but even at that shallow level I feel like the case for reading Shinji as a transwoman is pretty solid.

Dislikes

It’s not a perfect series by any means of course.

There’s allot of dialogue that’s pure 90s nonsense, though the series mostly includes it only to shoot it down.

Like I said above, I don’t think Rei and Asuka really get the time or attention they deserve. In general the series treatment of women is ...Weird... especially around the issue of sex. It’s really strange; in many ways it’s far better than most anime(spcl from that period) on this. Women are ACTUAL PEOPLE with psychology, opinions, and pasts; they’re allowed to have emotions of their own, and struggles, and to be damn competent; they are independent and their own selves rather than accessories or “prizes” to men. But on the issue of feminine sexuality it just gets suddenly so weird in this very particular old-school misogynist way. Like: it treats women’s attraction and reactions TO relationships as something devoid of and impenetrable to reason, without belittling the emotions(the desire and hurt) behind those reactions. That’s the only way I can describe it, and it’s so strange to see something that is both so insulting and sympathetic at once. Oh, and the Akagis in particular are done super-dirty for seemingly no reason I can see, tho I can guess, and Akagi Ritsuki is CLEARLY a lesbian(possibly bi lesbian) and also Rose Lalonde(srsl; her Deal should have been an unrequited, unspoken crush on Misato. They openly dealt with queerness re: Kaworu and Shinji they could have done it here too).

The Kaworu storyline should have been a series of episodes or even developed from the start with him as another pilot(maybe replace Toji with him), though they’d have to tone down his weirdness, at least at the start. A deeper dive on Shinji’s sexuality(honestly his attraction to Kaworu is SO much more immediate and believable than anything we see with him and Asuka, which there is basically nothing of beyond the ep where they had to do choreography for a fight, and that’s not developed on) would have really been appreciated, and having Kaworu be a bigger part of the series would have facilitated that.

Also honestly the whole series feels a bit rushed? Spcl the second half. Like I said: I haven’t done any followup reading lately, but I remember there being some budget problems or something, so maybe that’s the cause. Ironically it might actl also be why it’s as GOOD as it is; having to keep it short forces you to write concise and lean, and that’s probably why its themes and message are so clear. But, I’d have liked more rambling for character development, and more time spent on seeing Rei and Asuka react to the stresses we saw Shinji face(also they never really get moments to shine like he does; another negative common to the medium and genre). Asuka in particular, as a Japanese German with a USian temperament abandoned by her parents, already an outsider in SO many ways, coming to live in an entirely different culture where she’s even MORE of an outsider; forced to live with people(Misato and Shinji) she finds it impossible to relate to or connect with; who has literally NO ONE beside a single adult guardian who totally blows her off THE WHOLE SERIES after delivering her; PLUS her awful past: there’s just SO MUCH material I’d have loved to see explored more slowly and with greater depth, detail, and sympathy even if what IS there already is pretty powerful and effecting. She’s SUCH a good Vriska(so I’d also have loved to see her break more shit too >:>)

Conclusion

So Anyway: I really liked this series. It had its problems, there are things I’d have liked to see, but it absolutely deserves the reputation it has. I might write more about this, I might do a watch through INCLUDING End of Evangelion(which actl makes much more sense having watched the series, though having done so makes Shinji’s masturbation scene comPLETELY out of left-field like where the hell did THAT come from); we’ll see.

[miridiums-writing]

Loki x reader

This is the longest thing I've ever written, also having to post on my phone because I dont have a computer so I apologise I can to the read more thingy

Summary; Loki decides to prank his brother one night and end up becoming a therapist for Y/N, currently the most withdrawn are tough to crack of the bunch, as a snake

Warning; swearing, panic attacks, depression, self-harm, past abuse, past sexual assault, mentions of medical torture, death of a friend, the team seeming like dickheads, I do apologise. Also, may have plugged in my favourite power again…… please don’t hate me, reader is so oblivious it should be illegal. Please don’t read if this triggers you!!

Word count; 2k

Loki slowly slithered down the hallway, scales making a noise very comforting to him against the floor. Being a snake gave him a sense of peace and freedom. Tonight, he was heading for only one room, Thor’s. he hadn’t pranked his brother in a month and felt it was necessary to do so now. As he passed one more door until he reached his destination, he heard sniffling and hiccupping coming from the room. Loki’s curiosity got the better of him and he decided to investigate. The room was dark, though he could make out to outline of a person under the blankets, full on sobbing now. Loki carefully manoeuvred his small form up the bedframe to the person. They were shaking and sobbing rather badly now, he moved under the blankets and towards the person.

Loki was now curled around the persons hand that was currently gripping onto their hair harshly, almost of the verge of ripping it out. He started to lick at anything he could noticing quickly they were caught in a panic. Their panic was crashing down on them, making them unable to see him or even recognize he was there. Their breathing was laboured and harsh as if they had just run a marathon. Loki tightened himself around their hand in the hopes the pain would ground them. He relaxed when he heard them yelp, pulling the blankets off themselves to look down at Loki. Loki’s blood ran cold when he saw their face. There you were, tears staining your face and eyes red raw, confusion setting into your features as you looked down at him.

“thanks,” you said, your voice rough from crying. “I probably would still be panicking without you.” To you Loki was simply a snake looking up at you curiously. Currently Loki’s mind was screaming. What if they knew it was him and got mad for eaves dropping, what that why you were talking to him as you would a person? You were racking a shaky hand through your hair now, looking as though you were battling with yourself. Like you wanted to say something, but you were unsure. Loki was starting to look to find a way out when you started to speak again. “Fuck it, it’s not like I can talk to actual people,” you look Loki in the eye. “Plus, its not like a snake can look at me with pity.” Loki was slightly confused now, wondering where you were going with this. “ok, how should I? you know what ill just start from the beginning and see where I go shall we?” you gave Loki an unsure smile, though it further confused Loki to see how genuine it was.

“I have anxiety and depression. Um, I self-harmed, still do sometimes when it gets too much, I-uh- fuck I don’t know” you were looking across the room now, fiddling with your hands trying to explain. Loki curled up on your lap again and decided to wait for you to continue. It might help and he didn’t want to leave you alone like this, no matter how scary you were. “My parents were, well, they were shit. I was the oldest, so I took most of the attacks they handed out, punishments I took most of even if I wasn’t the one at fault. When I turned ten-” you cut yourself off to wipe away the tears pooling around your eyes “Sorry,” you chocked out as more tears made their way down your face. “Just, give me a second”

Loki continued to patiently wait for you to continue. He was honestly intrigued now. Maybe learning about your past could help him form a bridge between you, especially since you always seemed to distance yourself from everyone. He knew everyone needed someone to lean on. The tears had slowed again, you took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart.

“ok, when I turned 14 I was sold off, my parents were fed up of dealing with me and they ripped me away from those I cared about. I was sold at auction from money and given from person to person” your features were changing now, anger contorting your face “I was used as property, a toy, not a person, something people can just own. Used again and again, my innocence ripped from me!” you were yelling now though when you noticed you took a calm breath “sorry. So yes, I was basically a sex toy for gross old men. Though a good thing came from it. When I turned 17, I met a guy called Phoenix. He was, awesome. So genuine, so kind. We were both in this awful situation, but we had each other, we told everything about ourselves to each other and it was a freedom I hadn’t had before them. An actual friend.” The tears had started again but you just wiped them away and continued your story, Loki hadn’t moved yet, frozen in place through the power of your words. “when we were 18, phoenix was taken out the cell one night. Dragged by his hair outside. I remember vividly, we were both crying reaching for each other.” Your hands were clenched in anger now. “THEY SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!” you looked down at the snake in anger, though when your eyes met you tried to breath again, trying to keep calm. After a few minutes of deep breathes you continued once more. “I guess I could say a piece of me was lost that day, I lost the only thing I had left and I just broke. I was numb, I didn’t move, I didn’t eat, I didn’t do anything. When they found I couldn’t be useful as a sex toy anymore they sold me off again. To Hydra. I was subject 1843.” Loki internally gasped instantly, that was them? When the team had last broken into a Hydra base, he remembered reading something about them.

Subject 1843

Reported missing for 9 months.

Uses; medical chemicals for the next generation of super soldiers

Experimental aid

Stress relief

Loki was brimming with anger now. Everyone on the team backhanded them as a spoilt kid who didn’t like people, they all brushed them off ignoring them most of the time as most hand given up even trying to reach out to them. The only ones who still bothered were Cap and Spider ling, and even then, the interactions were slim to none, asking how their day was, that was about it. They kept to themselves otherwise. Loki remembered Bucky being mad because they spoke up about their past being bad and Bucky instantly being mad that they didn’t know what true pain was like. Yet there they were taking every punch and all that pain, emotional and physical from the team, people who are supposed to care about them and they said nothing.

“I was used as a test subject of sorts, chemicals were tested on me first, if I had a reaction, they didn’t use them. Simple as. I was used in experiments, my body was simply theirs to play around with, that explains the butterfly thing. One chemical reacted with him body and now I can create butterflies, somehow. I don’t mind the butterflies are rather calming. Anyway, when I turned 19, I found a way to escape and never looked back. Now I’m here, in bed having panic attacks and refusing help from actual people” you chuckled to yourself without humour “I’m so messed up inside, it doesn’t feel appropriate to reach out to them now, I’ve been so cruel.” Without thinking Loki shakes his head, then both of you freeze. You look down at him curiously. “You understand me?” Loki decided it better if you know and nods his head. “huh, cool,” you said smiling down at him. “ok then, who do you suggest I spoke to, who do you think I should trust?” Loki looks at them ridiculously for a second. They didn’t get he wasn’t a snake? Either way Loki decided to make his way to his own room as you followed behind him, your feet making a gentle pitter patter on the floor.

When they both arrive at his room Loki quickly dodges in before them and changes back sitting on the bed and reading. When you walk in, he looks up at you, trying not to show he already knew why you were there. You stand there for a second looking around the room, clearly searching for the snake, your hands massaging each other nervously. “I have some stuff I want to tell someone, will you let me talk?”

-------------------------------------------------------time skip------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki sat with your head in his lap, after so much crying that night you had exhausted yourself, you had fallen asleep on his shoulder, but he carefully moved so you were more comfortable. Though it wasn’t much he felt, almost at peace. He noticed you had told snake Loki a lot more than him, but the fact you had even spoken up, to him of all people, filled himself with pride, you trusted your instincts and the snake to speak up finally, and relieve yourself of the burden you had carried for so long. Though now he felt it was only his place to explain to the team. Before you had fallen asleep, he had asked you about it. You explained how you wanted to tell them but couldn’t work up the courage. He asked if you wanted him to do it and he agreed, before you passed out on him. He picked you up, placing you under the covers and called out to Friday. “assemble the team in the kitchen, this is important”

When Loki arrived at the kitchen everyone was there, expect for you. “right let’s get this started,” he said, clapping his hands together. “we have a lot to get through” Thor looked at him with confusion “what is this about?”

“all in due time brother”

“what about Y/N we can’t start without them” Cap said looking as confused as the rest of them.

“Let me explain first talk later, I need you full attention” and with that Loki told them everything you told human him. The team were just as shocked as him by the end of the story. Tony, and Bucky looked the most shocked, knowing full well how often they spoke down to them about them not understanding true pain. Cap and Natasha looked appalled both questioning their morals. The whole group sat in silence for a full five minutes, taking in the information. Being disgusted in themselves for their behaviour, not noticing sooner, not recognizing. If only they did more.

“standing here feeling bad isn’t going to do anything about it,” Clint said. “we’re heroes. We save people, and now its our turn to save a friend. So, stop feeling bad for yourselves, you can’t change the past. Come one, let’s go help them” Clint’s speech seemed to take them out their slump, their eyes regaining their life again and a of justice settling into all of them. Its time to do what they did best. Save other.

Over the course of the next 6 months the whole team was kinder, sure you still pushed them away to begin with, but it was better. Some night Loki still came back to your room as a snake, to calm you from panic attacks, and help you sleep. You and human Loki got closer too, you both ended up liking each other a lot, both finding refuge in each other. When Loki confessed to you, you felt free, like the shackles holding you back were breaking apart, your wings were expanding and you were taking flight, away from the suffering, away from the pain, towards freedom, towards love, towards peace. And when you both kissed for the first time you knew you were truly free.

[cottage-babe]

Bolin x pro-bender!Reader

Masterlist

here... take this bolin headcannon... just take it

i feel like there’s not nearly enough bolin stuff and since i’m almost finished w LOK, i guess ill aid this deficiency :)

also, i just started Book 3, so if theres some things that aren’t right or something, ignore it 

___

Bolin HC (during Book 1/Book 2)

so you guys met at (you guessed it) a pro-bending match

you were an Earthbender for the Ba Sing Se Badgermoles, a widely known team because you guys represented such a big city and you guys were actually kinda good

the Badgermoles were constantly interviewed, put on the covers of magazines, and bombarded by fans. The people loved you and your team

and so the day came where the Badgermoles were put up against the Fire Ferrets

you had heard about this team a lot; how they lost a member of the team, then the Avatar, actual master of the elements, filled in that empty space

it honestly took you so long to process

anyways, your team didn’t get the chance to meet the Fire Ferrets before the match; you just threw on all of your gear and made your way to the play area

you saw the Ferrets and instantly saw Avatar Korra, the only girl on the team

honestly, you couldnt see her well, but she was so pretty

anyways

the battle started and the Badgermoles got the advantage pretty quick

you took out their firebender and was working on the earthbender while the rest of team handled the Avatar

the earthbender put up a huge fight, it was so impressive

he even knocked you back a zone, but you recovered and, with a streak of luck, knocked him straight out of the field

you guys won that round

the next round didn’t go so well

the fire ferrets managed to knock all three of you guys off the platform, resulting in a win and a knock out

this meant that the entire match went to the Fire Ferrets

the other members on your team were annoyed and angry, but you weren’t phased too much

after all, Ba Sing Se treated you all extremely nicely, whether you win or not

so after the game, your team found themselves walking through the Fire Ferret’s locker room so you could leave

after your team mates walked past, you stayed behind and talked to one of the Ferrets, the Earthbender

“Hey, you were really good out there.”

you took off your helmet, just like in the movies, and he swore time slowed

he just stood there, completely frozen with his mouth agape

you raised an eyebrow at his antics and it wasn’t until Avatar Korra slapped him on the back that he came back to

“You- good- were good, uh im- im Bolin.”

you just laughed at Bolin and smiled 

“My names Y/n”

you walked up close to him, noses inches apart

“And next time, we won’t lose.”

he just gulped and nodded him head

you turned and walked out, laughing quietly to yourself

the interaction boosted your mood up exponentially

anyways timeskip to when their looking for the airbenders

you were just chilling in Ba Sing Se in the upper ring

you and your team were given super nice houses since you were the city’s pride and joys

then suddenly, you see Bolin and his brother walking around calling for someone

“Bolin? is that you?”

that boy turned around so fast

he blushed so brightly when he saw you and kinda looked at his brother for help

“well, well, what are the Fire Ferrets doing in my city? you know.. i’ve been dying for a rematch!”

you were only joking of course

you knew that their team had broken up after the year you met Bolin

not that you were keeping tabs on their team

of course

“yeah not right now, we’re looking for someone” his brother said

“oh? need some help?”

it took some time to convince Mako, the brother, but eventually you annoyed him enough to let you join

you were all walking through the upper ring looking for some kid named Kai, but you weren’t really paying attention

you maybe, kinda, might only be there so you could hang out with Bolin

from what you had heard (once again, you definitely weren’t searching for info), Bolin was an outgoing, loud guy

now he was quieter than a mouse

“So, i heard you were making movers now. What, getting tired of being a Pro-Bender?”

“Huh? No. I still play! I’m just doing this until the season starts...”

you were visibly happier after hearing that

you had thought that acting was going to be his permanent thing from now on

but still one thing plagued your mind

“And whats that princess girlfriend of yours gonna think about it? Ginger, I think her name was.”

Spirits you had done wayyyy too much research on this man

to be fair, you didn’t think you’d see him ever again

he blushed and stuttered out something about how they weren’t really dating, how it was a publicity stunt, blah blah

you weren’t really paying attention because after hearing his availability, you decided that today was the day you were gonna make a move on him

if it fails, then you don’t really have much to worry about; he lives in an entirely different city and you would only have to see him once a year

but if it succeeds; ohohohoh you’d finally get to live out your crush

the pros really outweighed the cons right now

so you guys searched for Kai for a while more

you decided that you were going to make some subtle hints toward Bolin

you let your hand brush against his a couple times, but never really looked up to see his reaction

then, you guys found Kai

he was stealing some old guy’s money by... airbending? why does this day just keep getting weirder?

so you guys chase him down an the streets and eventually follow him onto a train

unfortunately, he tricks you and sends you guys all the way to the lower ring 

you used to live here when you were younger, before you became a Pro-Bender, and it wasn’t a nice place

only now, it seemed to have gotten worse

all of you tried to find a way to get on a train back to the upper ring, but none of you had your passports or any money

if only you hadn’t left your house in such a hurry

you even tried to pull the “im a Pro-Bender!” card, but it didnt work

so you guys stayed on the streets for the day

Bolin was really trying to lighten the situation up, but it wasn’t really working 

“C’mon guys! Korra will realize that we’re gone and then come rescue us! I know it!”

she did not come

eventually, they had to find a place to sleep and no where was letting the stay for free

so they found a place in an alley and slept on the floor

yup, the dirty floor

you were not used to this

you almost wanted to stay up for the whole night to avoid sleeping on the ground, but Bolin assured her that it wasn’t as bad as it seemed

it was

“mmm here! you can use my jacket.”

he took off his jacket and laied it out on the floor neatly before gesturing for you to lay there

you hesitated for a second before sitting, not really putting up much of a fight because of how tired you were

Mako was already asleep somewhere across the alley and Bolin began gathering up some papers to use as blanket

then he found a spot somewhere away from you and started to settle down

“hey Bolin? do you maybe wanna share the jacket?”

he looked up so quickly and even the soft light from the lamp post caught his blush

“uhh sure”

and so he came over and laid halfway on the jacket so that you could take up most of it

he even offered you some of his picked up trash to use as a blanket, but you grimaced at the grossness and shook your head

you turned away from him, not wanting to be too overwhelmed by his proximity, so you didn’t notice that Bolin was staring at you

before you could completely fall asleep, a cool breeze burst threw the alley way and you began to shiver

maybe you should’ve accepted his paper

“hey Y/n you awake?”

since you were currently bouncing between consciousness, you decided not to answer

you feel him scoot closer

“okay please dont be mad at me when you wake up”

then you felt his arm cover your cold skin and warm you instantly

Spirits, he should be a firebender with how warm he was

you scooted back to meet his chest and let him envelope you

you fell asleep so quick

both of you woke up to Mako above you speaking loudly

“hey lovebirds, wake up”

since you already know of the position you were in, you didn’t really jump back with the surprise that Bolin had

“S-Sorry Y/n! You just looked so cold last night that I-” 

“its fine Bolin” you smiled at him “and thank you”

spirits he was so cute

and so you guys went on with the day, thinking about stealing food, then meeting their long lost family

it was such a nice reunion

they talked a bit about their family history, but since you felt out of place, you settled for playing with the babies on the floor

you bended little toys out of rocks and watched as some tried the same

it was so cute

meanwhile, Bolin was having a little dilemma

he and Mako had just finished having a heartfelt conversation with his Grandma and now he walks out here to see you playing with little babies and laughing with them

you were just so cute

“you know she likes you too right?”

“huh?! what- staring? im not staring.”

Mako just sighed because wow his baby brother is so dumb

“just talk to her before we leave Ba Sing Se”

and so they got their passports and left to the Upper Ring

you were so excited to go back home and sleep in a real bed

but you had one more thing to do before all of that

“So uh Bolin”

“So uh Y/n”

you guys spoke at the same time

“Oh! you can go first”

once again at the same time

“listen Y/n, I think you’re really pretty and super strong, like you could beat me up if you wanted to and i think thats really cool.” *cue your confused stare* “um anyways what I meant to say was, I think I’m about to fight the queen of Ba Sing Se and if I make it out alive, do you think we could hang out? like just us two?”

you decided to ignore some parts of what he said because umm you can only handle so many things at once

you settled for kissing his cheek and confessing too

you went back home so excited

even tho your crush was about to commit treason <3

aww the two of you are so cute I can’t