Astrology of Sex: 🥵🔥🍑🍒💦🍆
my asks have been looking thirsty lately and i thought😌its about time i made another post about sex lmfao. MINORS LOOK AWAY AND DNI. NSFW CONTENT BELOW.
We've already discussed a little bit about Yoni animals and sex but I wanted to discuss certain random observations I have made hehe.
Elephant yoni men?? they are THE most sensual lovers??
I think Elephant Yoni (be it Revati or Bharani) creates partners who are extremely sexually passionate. They live to please their partner. Just think about how protective and loving elephants are and now think about how aggressive they can be if they're mad. Elephant yoni men (in my experience 😜) have always been sensual but slightly aggressive but in a good way 😈😈
2. MOON DOMINANT MEN ARE FREAKY NASTY BITCHES, i said what i said
if you've never had sex with a lunar man, WHEWWW them dudes be FREAKZZ, they'll be doing acrobatics with you in bed 😭😭😭idk how to explain it but yk when you're having sex with someone for the first time and you're all polite and semi formal?? wellll lunar men are not gonna be like that. they'll get right to business and fck you like you owe them pu$$y
3. Purvashadha men are kind of sadistic
i mean Hitler had Purvashadha moon, so this is not entirely surprising but Venusian naks are all in some ways cruel and i'd say Purvashadha is the PEAK of this energy
they're selfish, they're extremely hard on themselves, they dont care about others, they're VERY self centred and yes, they fuck in a really brutal way. they'll literally fuck you like you're a whore. aftercare? never heard of her
4. Rat yoni men or men with a small yoni animal in general can fuck for hoursss and not get tired. im talking 4 rounds or 5 rounds
5. Rahuvian men 💀💀will bust in 5 seconds but they'll go crazy with foreplay tho 🥰
6. MARTIAN MEN GIRLLL, they're so rough and live up to all the stereotypes .. like you're NOT making love over here, you're getting FUCKED.
7. I feel like Lunar women are lowkey asexual ,, their sex drives are just ?? occasionally there but often not there. the type to have sex just to please their partner. THIS NEED NOT APPLY TO EVERYONE, PLS DONT COME FOR ME
8. Jupiter dominant men have crazy sexual appetite but either they have really high standards or they fck everything in sight (depends on how much they've emotionally evolved)
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HI!!! I adore how you write bill, an my own birthday is tomorrow an im ✨Terrified✨✨,, n was wondering ifff. You could do a sorta angst-fluff where its the readers birthday, but every single one of his birthdays has been awful. And like, now that bills here with the reader he feels like maybe he wont have to Just survive his birthday? That even with his god awful family, it might be ok. Like yeah the meds help, but it doesnt fix anything if the people youre with are why youre fucked yknow? IDK and maybe bill decides to take it upon himself to remove the readers family😋 cant be a neglected middle child w all the responsibilities of the eldest if youre an orphan/J AN I DONT MIND HOW CLOSE YOU STAY TO THIS I LOVE YOUR WRITING ANYWAYS!!
(,,,o n also the reader maybe be a grungey scene kid kinda guy? Lots of piercings, an is more feminine than his parents think he should be, especially as a trans guy, So thats smth. Love bones n bugs and shinies an is like if a dog n crow were a guy,, n supr srry if this is a bad req!! Im jus excited cus i love bill, and im also stressy out cus of my burthdayy >_<“) SO NO PRESSURE TO RESPOND ESPECIALLY IF THIS IS TOO LONG OR ANYTHIMG!!!/gen
-🌙
Hello and Happy Birthday 🌙 anon! I've managed to whip this up and I hope it gives you at least some sort of comfort for today. I really do hope you're situation gets better soon, take care of yourself and have a great day! (Also, don't worry, I never really do mind long asks.)
BirthDate
Oneshot | Bill Cipher x Reader | Fluff/Comfort?
Warnings: Mention of Death, Implied Abuse, Implied Trauma, Implied Bad Birthdays, Bill Cipher lol
Quickly stepping upstairs, you lock yourself in your bedroom, blocking all the noise emenating from downstairs. Exhaling, you drop to your bed, letting yourself relax into comfort of the soft mattress and fluffy pillows.
Only needing rest by this point, you close your eyes. Wanting nothing more than to leave this place behind.
"WHOA, DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU SO EARLY!" A voice suddenly spoke, booming loudly for you to hear.
Ah yes, there he is. You can't exactly say he's your best pal, but right this moment, you truly do feel more at ease with him than being back there.
"It's honestly been a long day so..." You shrugged for a moment before continuing, "Does it bother you?" You ask, giving a lighthearted smile.
"NOT AT ALL, I WOULDN'T BLAME ANYONE BY WANTING TO MEET YOURS TRULY," he spoke, blinking slowly in a dramatic way to show off his 'impressive looks'.
You chuckle slightly, shaking your head, "I mean, I don't think I'm exactly the one to choose to be here..." speaking your thought aloud just to perhaps tease him a little as you glance at him for a moment before slightly chuckling once more.
You never really did know how you even get to meet him to be honest, he somewhat always manages to show up in your dreams, so overtime you guessed that he might be the one approaching you...That, or it might be because of something else entirely.
For a moment, you thought you saw him become nervous for a second, but maybe it didn't happen at all as you only saw it for less than a second.
"WELL, JUST WANTED TO CHECK HOW YOU'RE DEALING WITH KNOWING YOU'RE ONE YEAR CLOSER TO YOUR DEATH," he flatly said, in a weird, eerie way. He always did love being weird so this type of behaviour wouldn't be uncommon by this point.
"Right... Well, what's the agenda for this time then? Or are you busy?" You ask, avoiding your 'birthday' in question. You'd much rather not talk about your birthday at all to be honest. Not a single one ever went well...
Adjusting his bowtie, he started to speak, "WELL..."
Snapping his fingers, your surroundings completely change.
The rest of your 'dream' went on a relatively good note. Having a cup of tea, playing chess, you both did the usual activities you both would do when meeting in your subconscious mind. But the only thing is that, he seemed to be more...well a bit more charming and noticeably, but only slightly more open to your suggestions on what else to spend time on.
He'd usually take the wheel and drag you through any activity he wants, but this time though, this time he was a bit more...considerate.
Now playing a board game with him, you take the dice and roll it. Getting one, Bill chuckles slightly at your misfortune for a second before taking the dice from you.
He might be treating you like this because it's your birthday, but you'd doubt it... Well at least for now-
"EY, IT'S YOUR TURN TOOTS," he snapped his finger a few times in front of your face.
Chuckling, you mutter an apology before taking the dice. Rolling it in your hands, you then let it go. As the dice lands on the floor, it lands on a six, letting you be the winner for the match.
"Yess, I won!" You raise your arms, smiling back at him.
"CHECK AGAIN." Bill spoke, pointing at your piece. Looking down at the board, you see a newly added tile in front of your piece, moving the finish line out of reach. You raise your eyebrow, giving him the side eye.
"WHAT? I DON'T MAKE THE RULES," he raised his shoulders, smiling mischievously with his eye.
Shaking your head, you chuckled at his silly banter while giving him the dice for his turn.
It's unexpected but, this dorito triangle man truly has made a significance on making your birthday much more bearable. Be it his choice to do it or not, you're honestly just glad to at least have some semblance of joy sprout on this day.
I haven't been able to post for a week because unfortunately I became rlly busy at the moment and it isn't helping that I do tend to procrastinate at times. I'll post more regularly later, but for now at least, I'll post this here. Once again, happy birthday 🌙 anon!
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Hello TIMELESS with pjo or Jason grace ?
jason grace who literally cried the first time you gave him a gift.
we know that jason isn't really one to celebrate his birthday and doesn't make too much of a big deal of it, and i have the feeling that comes from camp jupiter. they just seem so much more uptight, and jason never really got the chance to have the experience of just receiving something out of nowhere. he's always had to work for everything.
it's not that he's never received a gift before, he and reyna would always get each other birthday and christmas presents, but that was because they had years of built up respect for each other.
when he got a gift from you, someone he didn't have to prove himself to, he just became so overwhelmed with gratitude and love that he just burst into tears.
he covered your face in kisses and quick "i love you's" as tears of joy streamed down his face.
jason grace who would turn into a puddle of tears over a wolf plushie.
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