#i dont think this is a workload i should be handling

[tortadecuchufli]

college related negativity under the cut

i have. 2 reading tests in one day. one after the other. And a report to turn in.

One asks for 11 readings. averaging 20 pages each. 3 of those are whole ass DSM 5 chapters. The other has 4 readings, averaging 30 pages each.

I've read like 4 of these.

[curio-queries]

Run BTS: 035 | Kimchi Battle

Original Air Date: 09 JAN 2018 Episode Length: 28:32 Total Parts: 1 YouTube English Subtitles: Yes Title Song: Blood Sweat & Tears

Synopsis: Divided into 3 teams to make different kinds of Kimchi

Production: Fairly straightforward, the guys are preparing various different kinds of kimchi. They have a guest teacher to answer questions. The coverage is pretty clean as well, but there's just something off about this episode's production that I can't grasp.

Endearment: Relatively benign, honestly. it's nice to see how the guys handle assigned tasks and teamwork. Each member has some funny comments, but I don't think there's honestly much to draw the audience in. I dont know, maybe I just watch too many cooking shows and this one just didn't really do it for me.

Winner: JH, JK

Loser: none

Best Cheater: Trust BTS to have a cheater in a food prep episode but I have to give this to Jimin for hiding some of his ingredients to reduce his workload!

Member Moments:

RM: Honestly, are any of us surprised about RM cutting his glove? frankly, we should be impressed he didn't cut himself. lol

JN: I love it whenever Jin is impressed by a tool. The mandolin really shocked him.

YG: Yoongi's infamous 'it looks like it's taking too long' bit with the pot holder.

JH: Hobi's heart-shaped radishes on the home shopping network! <3

JM: Jimin calling his mom was so sweet

V: V is such a bad influence on RM. poor Jin was suffering lol

JK: Poor JK, definitely the workhorse of the radish chopping endeavor

Bonus Content:  The bonus content has so many great moments between the members. Exactly what I was looking for in the endearment category.

CQ Rank: 2.5

(CQ Eval Date: 19 DEC 2023)

Check out this post for my Masterlist of all episodes and descriptions of how I'm evaluating these.

Previous Episode: 034

Next Episode: 036

[caseythebunnyboy]

Hey sorry you've had a shit few months, I definitely understand that studying stress.

I'm new here so haven't interacted with you before but i was reading your old posts and now my boyclit is aching- can I force you onto your knees until you're drunk on my cum? Such a cute sub for me, arent you? <3

hello dear new anon, welcome to the blog! 😊 im very glad your cock is throbbing and that youre thoroughly enjoying reading through all my horny throughts hehe 💜💜 and by the way, no need to say sorry! its very sweet, but its not your fault that college gives a very overwhelming workload, so dont worry about it! just need to go about handling my time better, yknow? 🐇

(horny thoughts under the cut, dont wanna take up too much space on dashboards!)

and you can definitely force me on my knees! 💜 make my good little mouth suck and lick all over your boyclit until im practically begging you to cum on my tongue, my eyes wide and desperate as i lap up any slick that comes out of you in a needy attempt to make my dom fall apart with only oral 💜

and after you finish making me a mindless little bunny just by making me please you with my tongue and lips, you should definitely take advantage of how slow and helpess my brain has become, pinning me down so i cant fight back against you at all, and using your fingers to play with my leaking, neglected boycunt while praising me for being such a cute little sub for you 😊 i think itd be very fun for both of us hehe 💜🐇

[tezzbot]

i think that otouto works so well as a trio is that theyre able to like. take on specific roles that osomatsu usually provides for the six, so otouto can function pretty well without him because theyre able to do that

like todomatsu, most of the time, can and will take the lead when the younger trio are seperated (im including fesmatsu bits those are canon and i love tjem), hes able to point them all in a direction and usually suuji will follow (unless they have a different idea on how sth should be handled in which case theyll be like Um. No<3 GDJF) because totty makes decisions and makes them quickly and hes generally p smart about em too, hes a conniving little trickster of a man and is good at getting his own way which does translate p well into leadership skills (a counterpoint could be if he doesnt wanna do something he wont but this is abt what they Can do not what thay Do okay alright BDNDV)

ichimatsu has a calming disposition and also generally takes that role in the group as a whole, but its v prevalent in otouto, the amount ichimatsu asks the others Are You Okay? and tells them It'll Be Alright Because X, Y and Z is very very sweet like he is actually extremely caring

and jyushi brings the lightheartedness and levity needed in the group, like he would never let any situation get too serious or sad like thats prevalent through yhe series he just doesnt like seeing people he cares about upset or sad and he can and will attempt to remedy that

all of these are traits that osomatsu exhibits when he bothers to put his big boy older brother boots on, osomatsu, obviously the leader they have and will continue to follow his lead for ever, hes extremely caring and calming when he isnt the one causing the scene what needs to be calmed and hes able to provide levity whenever the rest of em are like ouh :(

obviously theres a lot of other things in otoutos dynamic that make them work (ie. they like each other HDNDV) and having the same kind of traits as The Leader isnt necessarily what makes them work well but the fact that yhey have those spread among them is cool and fun and interesting and def is a contributing factor smile

ani on the other hand. mmmmmmm. lol

i think animatsu have. WAY less respect for one another than otouto do. osomatsu still considers himself in charge and the leader, but he has the two brothers who are Least willing to listen to him in his court in the context of the animatsu trio

karamatsu sees himself as equal to osomatsu in ranking he usually says We are the oldest, as the oldest two brothers yadda yadda, like in his mind he is on equal footing with osomatsu and maybe even slightly higher because he Does not respect his ass at all HDGNFVR and so its like ah yes Us the older brothers and our little brother choromatsu smile, and like he does respect choromatsu just not to yhe extent that choromatsu wants him to

choromatsu is a bigheaded Fool and considers himself far above both osomatsu and karamatsu DBDNV i doubt hed listen to jack shit the others say, theyre all three of them in their own ways Trying To Lead and thats just not gonna work HDJDB

thats why i think otouto r more harmonious than ani they spread out the "workload" where ani are clamouring so that they dont have to GHFJDG

anyway s4 come through more trio moments holds out my hands pleae

[scrmngtts]

i should be happy i had a successful week at my new job..

hey why dont we list good things that happened this week. dont just focus on the negative ones.

lets see.. monday i had my first meeting on my new job! met the whole team. theyre really big theres 20+ peeps in the dept im in and the company is big. i hope i get to stay here longer than my previous one. also, i hope i can handle the workload and the stress. but i made up my mind, no matter how hard this job is i will try my best. they will not catch me slacking.

tuesday: i went to the gym in the morning then i wanted to get presents for my friends but i couldnt find the one im looking for so i just went home. i went to the movies at night with my friends after!! i finally see the movie i wanted to see. im glad i went with my friends.

wednesday: hump day!! i have sent my first work for reviews!! and i got humbled really quick they gave me so much notes! but nothing i cant do. im a very good animator and i know i can troubleshoot anything!!

thursday: i went to the doctors with my dad, im glad everything is good from his test. im really thankful about the results.

friday: finally finished my work. my supervisor said theres some minor tweaks but that can be fixed in production stages so im happy im able to go to the weekend not thinking of anything i need to submit.

thats all! i hope to come back here and be happy when iread this again. i have such an amazing and great life. and im so thankful to be alive!

[realtalk-princeton]

There seems to be a lot of negative sentiment surrounding princeton here. Im a prefrosh and was initially really excited about attending, but now Im second-guessing whether or not I can handle the environment/culture? While I do enjoy an academic challenge, I dont particularly want a dreary, intense grind type of college experience, which is what many students on the internet seem to say princeton is. Id like to have a better balance of academics + social life/fun, so Im considering schools like Yale and Stanford which seem to achieve this sort of culture better. Do you guys think that the negative sentiment is over expressed online and not necessarily representative of the princeton experience? Would you say that princeton has been a fun time and you more or less wouldnt trade it for anything else, which is how other college students describe their 4 years?

Response from Olive:

I answered a similar question to this a few pages back if you want to scroll for a more comprehensive answer, but the moral of the post was that the grass is always greener on the side. there is absolutely no college that is a perfect 4 year experience for each and every student unfortunately. while many people don't have a great time, there are also many people that do, and the same goes for yale, stanford, etc. there's no school you can go to that will guarantee the college experience you're looking for. I also think the demanding nature of a college experience would be difficult to avoid since you seem to be interested in the more higher ranked schools which tend to share that characteristic, depending on how well you handle it. I understand your concerns about the negative sentiment, especially given the several tragic losses in the past year, but my friends at other ivies typically express the same level of stress / mental health concerns around the more stressful periods of the semester as well, so I think it's a more common experience beyond princeton. in terms of my own experience, I've fortunately had a pretty good time here and was able to do well academically / socially / mentally, but I'm not sure if I can really speculate what it would have been like at other universities since that's a pretty complex counterfactual to consider. in short, I would encourage you to look beyond what you read online and think more holistically about your options and see which school has the most to offer, where you could see yourself the happiest, and what school fits your interests the most. I know it's a really stressful time and difficult decision to make, but I'm sure you'll make the right choice. good luck!

Response from Heisenberg:

Firstly, Stanford is arguably worse for one's mental health (Duck Syndrome, recent mental health incidents, perpetual Silicon Valley/startup/CS culture, etc). As for Princeton, it's an intense, weary grind if that's the path you choose. Since Princeton is a school consisting of overachievers, it's a given that there will be stress. There are classes here that have workloads similar to high school. There are also classes here taught by Fields medalists and to-be Nobel Prize winners. There are people here who party every weekend, starting by Thursday even. There are also people here who live in Firestone Library and are grinding 24/7. Princeton prides itself on its diversity, so it should be no surprise when we have a students whose lifestyles are on both sides of the spectrum. I would say that the negative sentiment online is slightly overblown and typically comes from the same group of students.

[mariacallous]

AUUGHHhHGhh ms callous.....i am like UNABLE to go in2 work things have been deteriorating in the office (yes we are all in-person since last yr BARF) since at LEAST the new year and esp fallen apart between me and another senior team member. She has spread so much negativity in the office and is using the whole anti-work quiet quitting work to the rule rhetoric on all my coworkers (and heres the thing I AM A FAN of all that stuff EYE dont want to slave away in the office for 100 hrs a week etc) but we have federal worker protections (like i CANT work more than 50 hrs/wk without special approvals) and our management bends over backwards to accomodate leave and generally let us do what we want as long as we get the projects done. She has chosen to take advantage of this in the past and has on more than one occasion lied abt the nature of her leave as well as the duration of it and only took leave RIGHT at the critical phases of our projects which as a senior she shld know better. In response management tightened discipline on leave and she used that to stir up discontent so for the last several months ppl just weren't doing anything. Ive been picking up the slack bc i still believe this is a team so ive been cleaning up after ppl while shes telling them they're too smart and special to even be on our team and basically acting like SHE can manage their time. For some reason they all love her so things only got their absolute worst last month when we experienced huge turnover and started operating at like under 50% staffing levels. I couldn't keep up with all these projects PLUS my own sudden due outs PLUS QC PLUS dealing w the interns and this girl has just BEEN there like giving them direction without giving me any insight, gleefully talking abt all my mistakes (bc i had to clean up after her so many times my management noticed and disciplined her) and then she also had the gall to tell everyone i am too overwhelmed by my workload INCLUDING randoms from outside our unit that we regularly deal with! She's been cozying up to the brand new folks too and now they all believe her sob story that shes being retaliated against by management for taking leave and that im too incompetent to handle my role. WHICH WAS KIND OF TRUE FOR LIKE. 2 weeks out of 2 yrs!!! And if everyone else did THEIR jobs i wouldnt have to be like this! So shes FINALLY leaving for a job where she hopefully will be paid to do nothing like she wants and my management asked for peer comments on her performance review and uh. I really let it rip LOL theres no way she's not going to know its me i was so specific w details (like her weird unhinged backyard elopement with our OTHER coworker that she wanted to keep a secret from all of us but we all heard her tell her friends bc our bullpen????? Is???? Open plan????) I ended up taking the rest of the week after submitting my comments so ive been out of the office since Wednesday morning and i just. Everyone else in the bullpen probably thinks im awful or incompetent or both and they LOVE this girl.....its so unbearable.....she only has like 5 more days in our unit before leaving but i d ek how to proceed. I had SUCH a good record before all this even though i am a bit of a gossip i must admit....it feels like I have to leave now too shes just poisoned the well....and i know its mainly a personality clash but it doesnt help that im the only poc in the unit either :( :( like should i go in and pretend nothing happened?? Should i just ignore the atmosphere?? What if i pretend to have a covid exposure JK OBVIOUSLY NOT

I would do the best you can and just try to not address anything and focus on work. Be cordial but non-committal and focus on getting through the next couple of days.

[uwooyoungs]

not being in school is.. weird

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

did anyone else feel like everything in uni was just.... too much to handle???? like do this internship! do this extra curricular program! and this one and this one and this one!!!! all to prove how involved you are!!! build all your soft skills and hard skills and professional brand/identity now!!! what are you doing????? dicking around like that????? you have no time to dick around!!!!! DO IT NOW??!!! WHERES YOUR LINKEDIN??? WHERE ARE YOUR AND WHAT ARE YOUR CAREER GOALS AND YOUR CAREER ROADMAP????!!! WHY DONT YOU CARE ABOUT ENTREPRENEURSHIP AND BEING INNOVATIVE???? OH BY THE WAY WHERE ARE YOUR ASSIGNMENTS ON TOP OF ALL THIS OTHER BS YOU’RE MEANT TO DO AND CARE ABOUT????!!!!!

like bro you’re causing me and probably everyone else to have mental breakdowns and feel like failures if they don’t do all these things all at once at uni. sorry i couldn’t manage an internship bc i only got my licence after i graduated???? sorry that i felt like those programs would take too much energy out of me???? sorry i forgot to turn in all those bs personal reflections you wanted me to have done for that extra curricular program that i signed up for where i never got hired for any of the positions i applied for anyway???? sorry i don’t give a fuck about my professional image and how to set up a personal brand i have no fucking energy left to give a flying fucking fuck about it. why the fuck does it even matter??? and fuck your entrepreneurship and innovation/hustle lifestyle bs spiels! why the fuck am i supposed to care about these????? when my mental health is so fucking depleted that i had a panic attack to the point of throwing up in the bathroom over making my linkedin account and being a “budding professional”???? why don’t my studies count as being involved on campus???? because they’re literally all i can fucking handle, just barely???? like how much fucking energy and time do you think i fucking have???? thanks for your fake ass mental health events that don’t really work either. just fuck why can’t i dick around like you’re really supposed to do at uni???? how the fuck else am i meant to relax if i’m always meant to be thinking about hustling and all that bullshit??? hello???? why will no one answer me???? fuck you.

like obvs i know people will react to this with comments such as: “that’s why and how you’re meant to learn time management at uni!!! look at all the cute study hacks on tiktok to help you ☺️!” and “that’s how you learn how to handle multiple workloads and deadlines and stuff!!” or “that’s how college/uni simulates the real world of employment!!! if you can’t deal with this at college/uni maybe you should’ve just dropped out and realised that you needed to toughen up princess!!!” or whatever else. but y’all. like it was chronic. i was always tired. always burnt out. i felt like i had no time to “find myself “ or whatever the trope or expectation of uni is supposed to be. instead i was just hammered, to what felt like death, with “be entrepreneurial and grind/hustle your way to the top every day!!!! only care about your professional image and brand! everyone has one! do 10 internships today to prove your eligibility/validity and motivation to employers so you get into a grad program!!! hustle hustle hustle! innovate innovate innovate! where are your start up ideas to fix the entire world in a day???? here’s all these never ending deadlines for 50+ extracurriculars that you HAVE to meet otherwise you won’t get the award for these programs officially to show employers!” etc etc etc. but it honestly felt like so, so, so much to do and i felt guilty because i felt like i had absolutely no interest in half of the ECs, let alone, even the “required marks” (because more than half of the ECs at my uni required at least a 75 or distinction average) to get into like mentor high school kids or idek do a business incubator program or whatever the bullshit EC program options were.

and that above is not even counting the reflections that you had to do to say “yeah i did this program and i felt it was good and i learnt A/B/C about myself through this program so it’s defs enhanced my employability skills” to even be considered to be taking part in the program. it was all too fucking much on too little time and i fucking hated it. and that’s besides the point that i was focussing solely on all the employability workshops for my “career” and got literally fucking nothing out of them. like why can’t uni just be a time to dick around and find yourself, instead of doing useless fucking employability circus bullshit and hearing time and time again about the “entrepreneurial mindset” and how to “never turn off your brain for innovation and the hustle to be ahead of everyone else???? hurry up and have a side hustle like tutoring to show just how much initiative you have!!!!!” like i just don’t understand how my advanced diploma, my undergrad arts degree, and my albeit short lived and failed attempt at my postgrad degree dont show ENOUGH initiative to employers. i fucking hate it.

and i also i understand that me complaining about this after the fact (and also while i was at uni from 2015-2018/doing postgrad in 2019) can be seen as “oh you were just too lazy to get yourself together and grow up! typical millennial/gen z! too selfish to grow up and be part of the big, bad adult world!” but y’all. there needs to be more down time for students and less of a push to be “entrepreneurial” and all that bullshit during uni/college; so you’re not pushed to your absolute limits at uni til you have a mental breakdown and drop out/defer for a semester or a year. and that’s besides the fact that even in my fucking 3 month breaks at the end of every year i was actually BUYING my texts or textbooks early and doing some of my readings (books) MONTHS ahead of time and MONTHS ahead of even knowing the revised sets of texts (because half the time i bought them so early that i hd no idea that the prof had taken like 4 diff books off some courses and replaced them w/ other books instead for example) so i really had no proper downtime anyway. like i was utterly run off of my feet and i was burnt the fuck out every fucking year of my undergrad degree and also my postgrad and also business college in 2014; which was at least 50+ page assignments every fucking week. like that should count as initiative to employers.... but apparently it fucking doesn’t??? im fucking sick of y’all what the actual fuck do you want????

[popatochisssp]

Am I allowed to ask what happens when the Empire discovers the rogue diamonds? If you dont have the time feel free to just delete this uwu

In terms of how it goes down, it’s definitely a case of Pointing Spiderman Meme meets Caveman Spongebob Meme!

Red and Black Diamond  (the Underfells) are always out at the furthest reaches, looking for new territory to conquer or claim, and it’s not unthinkable that they might, entirely by chance, come across a downright antique vessel that’s nonetheless in perfect working order--and very obviously gem-tech.

They hail it and as soon as the feed connects and each pair of diamonds realizes they’re looking at another pair of diamonds, it’s basically a very dignified, perfectly calm and measured......... Okay, it’s not even remotely like that, just a very loud, “YOU!!!” and then a lot of barked and half-sputtered questions and demands while they all try to get answers from each other.

Eventually, when the dust is settled and all the diamonds know about each other, the Outer Galaxy Diamonds are invited to Homeworld, to visit or maybe see if they can find a niche to fill...?

Pink and Olive (the Horrorswaps) visit and decide they’d like to stay. It seems to them that not all that much effort is being put into proper recording and preservation of gem history--and considering it’s apparently a giant blank before a certain point, that’s kind of an embarrassing oversight!

Olive rolls up his sleeves and gets to digging around in the archives they do have, cleaning up and organizing and maintaining records with meticulous detail--in triplicate and not only in digital format.

Pink goes out and even sometimes off-planet a little more, actually getting his hands dirty with the restoration and preservation of historic gem buildings and sites that might otherwise be demolished to make way for newer things or forgotten altogether.

Their combined efforts spark a greater interest in gem history and heritage and they’re both very happy about that.

Cubic and Moissanite (the Underglooms) decide to stay on Homeworld, too, and in searching for some area to be of use, they realize that the only diamond even remotely handling recreation is Orange Diamond--maybe they can help there somehow? Orange, who is unfortunately often busy as the figurehead of the Empire and can only make time to host about a third as many balls and galas as he’d like to, thinks that’s a fantastic idea and welcomes their support wholeheartedly!

Cubic starts to monitor (at least for Homeworld gems) logs of cycles worked and downtime taken/given, picking out trends and calling out areas (and supervisors) with bad ratios of the two.

Moissanite regularly digs through accounts and images of colonies and gem-occupied planets and drafts up (what are essentially) ads and travel brochures for them, so that gems who need to go somewhere to take a break can find just what they’re looking for.

Both of them--independently and sometimes together--also start regularly patronizing Sea Spires and Gardens and such, trying to get gems excited about going to visit them. It works pretty well because the Imitation Diamonds are celebrities of a sort, a notch or so down from the legitimate political powers that are the Diamonds, but still very big and sparkly gems that are Diamond-adjacent and it’s actually a big deal to hang out where they hang out; where you might even get to see one of them! In person!

Cloudy and Pepper (the Horrorswapfells) visit, but ultimately have no interest in staying longterm. It’s too loud and busy and structured for their tastes, as gems who’ve never really been part of a caste system like that. They return to their ‘colony’ where they’re basically benevolent gods whose only responsibility is to look after some organics that mostly look after themselves anyway. ...Still, it becomes gemkind’s worst kept secret that if you feel you can’t fit into Homeworld’s society, or if you don’t want to, or if you’re trying to escape something or someone--you can always run to their colony to find a little sanctuary.

Cloudy doesn’t mind showing runaways how to relax and what’s to do for fun around here. So many gems who really just need to deprogram a bit and just be who and what they are...

Pepper finds he likes looking after and protecting the new arrivals, like fulfilling his purpose but without having to be on Homeworld to do it.

Both are quite happy to use their Diamond strength and status as a shield for any gem that comes calling looking for so-and-so-- plenty of “how should i know if your pearl is here? you’re bothering a diamond over this?” and “TELL YOU WHAT-- COME GET YOUR SEA GLASS. I MAY BE DEFECTIVE, BUT IF YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN CHALLENGE A DIAMOND...”

Raw & Champagne (the Horrorfells) have...a bit of a conundrum... In that one wants to stay and one wants to go. Homeworld is...fine, but Raw is pretty keenly aware that he doesn’t really Fit into it, too unrefined to find any niche truly comfortable. Champagne is, of course, perfect and could find someplace to fit quite easily, becoming the Diamond and leader he was always meant to be. ...But he finds himself conflicted, not wanting to leave Raw to go back out into the universe alone or to force him to stay somewhere he’d be miserable and out of place. Luckily, they figure out a compromise.

Raw doesn’t really know what to make of it when his brother tells him to go gather up as many off-colors and defectives and broken gems that want to be elsewhere, but he’s liked those kinds of gems the best since they got here, so he does just that.

Champagne graciously offers his assistance in lightening some of Yellow Diamond’s workload, guiding and steering and shaping the course of their collective society. ...He’ll be doing this work remotely, of course, as he and his brother will be returning to the abandoned sectors from whence they came, reestablishing and reinhabiting those places that were obviously supposed to be part of the Empire. Red and Black can expand into new areas, and he and Raw will retake the old.

Lots of defective and off-color gems are very happy to find a place they can really be both seen and useful! Things were okay on Homeworld, it’s not like there were any crazy shattering policies if you weren’t perfect, but if you didn’t fit in, you kinda knew it. Raw seems quietly, flatteringly fascinated by all of them and Champagne has a knack for figuring out what they can do, if not what they were made for and for some gems, it’s just a better place to be!

Eventually, much much later, the Chameleon Diamonds (the Gastertales) run into somebody or another and pretty much the same thing happens-- a lot of exclamation points and confusion, followed by a tentative offer to check things out and see if they want to find a place to fit in.

Reverse wants frankly no part of Homeworld. Neither he nor his brother have any memory of being Void, the founder of this civilization, and so there’s no real affiliation with or responsibility for gemkind. He wants to get back out there into the universe and get back to living life and exploring...but he’s not going to leave without his brother.

Classic doesn’t really want to stay either. The rigidity of society is hard to adjust to when all you’ve ever really known is total freedom, and he’d also very much like to be back out observing the observable universe as soon as possible. Unfortunately... he does feel a responsibility to stick around for at least a little while. Brown Diamond was quite insistent on it as well and with his motives explained, Classic agreed fully--though it’s a stay of moral obligation at best.

They both dip literally the moment they can, taking communicators with them but honestly with no intention of ever coming back save for some emergency where they were desperately needed. The universe is infinite and time not spent out in it feels wasted!

[championofdnd]

Gonna rant for a bit. Normally I wouldn't put anything about work online but I am so freaking frustrated. I came into this job (Sys Admin) with 0 experience. My boss and team lead knew this. In my interview (with both of them, not with hr) I was very honest about how much I actually knew.

So they hire me for my enthusiasm. I spend the first week getting my work station set up, doing the mandatory trainings, and learning people's names. The standard. And then I ask for work... The team lead is swamped with an emergency fix, use this website to start working on this cert that we want you to get. Okay cool I get it, I'll ask again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the next week... And oh I got access to the servers, I need to go test my log in to ALL of them k. Anything else I can do to break the tedium? Documentation. Documentation of what? Oh right of stuff I haven't been shown how to do... Okay...

Like I can go google how to create a user on the system or how to install an operating system, but that doesn't tell me how your system is set up. Even if i had experience I'd still be asking, hey whats this server for? How do we move code between the environments? What software suites do we use for this task? Do we have a license for this product and what does the license allow? How do we normally access the systems, as root, as an individual user, as a group user?

And since I have 0 experience, I don't always have the right words to ask the question. So I end up with a lot of just show me. But I wouldn't get shown unless I ask 100 times. And I take notes but they aren't perfect so I have to come back later for clarification. But I'm expected to have finished this document on how to do this process I've seen done once so the doc can be used in an AUDIT??? So it has got to be right! And yeah my team lead is to busy to review it...

So I talk to my boss every week or so, how are things going. Well I've been working on the cert training and I've learned this and that recently. Does team lead answer your questions? Yeah sometimes he takes a while to get back cause he's always swamped but he's super friendly about it when I do get ahold of him. (Did I mention I started this job during quarantine, so guess who wasn't physically in the office the first 4months, team lead, so I'm relying on him answering my calls or calling back or responding to email/im). I mention it'll be easier when he can come back into the office but I of course understand why he can't at the moment. So boss asks if I have enough work. Well, I have a hard time getting work from team lead cause he's always swamped so finding time to delegate work is hard especially since he's so used to working alone but I'll keep asking and also since I don't have a lot of experience it can be hard cause he has to set aside to show some basic stuff. But again once he's in the office I'm sure it'll be better. Until then im keeping busy, after all itsy IT there's always plenty to do and it all needed to be done yesterday! So I'll keep working on that cert for now.

I pick up a few new small tasks every week, and report what I'm learning to boss. He double checks I'm busy enough cause he doesn't want me getting bored and leaving, they really want to keep me on. At some point I ask the receptionist if I can help her out with anything since team lead is swamped and my work load is light. I get chewed out by boss a few hours later and team lead calls and says he can give me some work tomorrow (which he does).

So I finally get to start ramping up it seems, boss wants everything I'm learning documented yesterday but I shrug that off cause that's normal IT proceedure. But team lead is still swamped so it takes a day to get answers to anything especially since he's still working from home.

This whole time I'm hearing about all the mistakes my predecessor (actually the last three) made, and how it's left team lead gun shy of trusting people with certain environments. And I'm like you know that's fair, I'm really process driven and quite cautious so I think it will work out. And so I'm like hey why don't I watch you do it a few times and then I'll do it a few times with you watching over my shoulder to point mistakes before I make them and then I can give it a shot on my own. And that's a great approach for me, makes me more comfortable with the work, and it's supposed make my team lead more comfortable.

So we're about 4mos in. Team lead comes back into office. There's some adjustments to be made. My workload is a rollercoaster of several things due yesterday to just doing cert training cause team lead is swamped and I know better by now than to bother asking. I'm still pretty well giving the same update to boss. There's been a few hiccups, missed a meeting here, messed up something small here. I learned how to fix the mistakes, documented everything for future reference. Boss says what matters is we don't make the same mistake twice. And I show where I documented it and I dont make the same mistake twice.

And so month five I ask boss if they're gonna hire me full time (i was on a 6mo trial) and how to start that process. And he says send him my updated resume so they can create a position and he has to double check with team lead just to make sure but that everything should be good to go.

Everything was not good to go. He comes back the next week and says team lead isn't sure I can do the job so I need to work extra hard these next two weeks to prove I can.

And well I deflated. How was I going to prove I could do the job? I'd done the tasks given me. I'd gotten good reviews. Was I asking too many questions? Team lead had commented several times that I didn't ask enough. But I'd only had a month to be able to corner him to ask things. And by this point I knew the answers to the tasks I was given, I'd done them all before. Was it because I'd missed/been late to some meetings? That was on me but it hadn't happened as of late and that mostly seemed to bug my boss not my team lead who brushed it off or missed/was late himself. And I'd fixed that problem. Was it because I wasn't surgically attached to my phone? Seriously get over it. If that's the issue I'm out, and you also need to be more clear on that expectation from the get go. So i spinu wheels and flounder for two weeks the work I'm assigned clearly isn't proving I can do this job amd my motivation flies out the window. It was a bad two weeks and I didn't know how to fix it (honestly I still don't entirely).

Team lead pulls me aside to say boss is very unimpressed (no duh, I've done nothing for two weeks) and wants to know if I still want the job since I've seemed very unenthusiastic as of late. Yes I still want the job. I do actually like the work I've been given. I'll try and fix my attitude (this was on a Thursday, a lot of people don't work Fridays at this office).

Monday the contracting company that's handling this trial period sets up a meeting, with their hr. I'm not meeting snuff. Why. I need to fix this. I need to attend meetings. I need to meet deadlines. Im legit like no duh, if I knew what the issue was I'd of already fixed it. Im as frysty as anyone but sure if it makes you happy I'll say I'll do those things.

Then Tuesday I have the epiphany. This is stupid. Of course I'm not doing the work. The work is pointless from my perspective. It's not gonna prove I deserve the job. It's the same I've been doing for months that I was told was good enough only to find out at the last minute that actually no it wasn't? If course I'm going to struggle. There has been a massive miscommunication here!

So after talking it over with the SO to make sure I'm not crazy and to hash out what I want to say I set up a meeting with my boss. This was last week. Team lead is gone for fourth of july already. I explain my epiphany that if team leads wants me to prove I can do something he needs to give me work that will prove it. I accept I've had a bad few weeks, the trial has been extended a month and I'm ready to bounce back.

Except team lead is gone so I've got the same old work to do that Thursday friy. And I don't do it, I'm still not convinced it matters. We came back in the office on Tuesday. I own up to not having done that work yet but knock it out quickly that morning and start asking questions about my next task. Oh it's the same thing you've done before but on a new server, you need to select one different option when you do it... Oh..kay... Whelp it's gotta be done its a new server I convince myslef this will prove something to team lead and go knock it out. End of the day I swing by to ask a question and team lead had to leave early (it was a legit reason, had to take dog to the vet, but it's annoying at this point). But he didn't bother telling me this, boss has to tell me.

So Wednesday (yesterday) I come in and flounder, I still have the same old tasks. After luch i worj up the resolve to tey asking team lead what else I can do. I can knock out the tasks I have pretty quick. He'll have to find something for me. I don't hear back that day.

So here I am this morning, I'm fed up. SO thinks I should call team lead out to boss. I'm having a hard time with it though. Is it really his fault? Maybe I'm not pushing hard enough for more work? I mean haven't explicitly gone to his office and said give me more challenging work or else. Like how do I say that. At this point I'm struggling to complete the easy tasks I have, why would he give me something harder? But they themselves have said the receptionist could do what I do. I just. I don't want to even bother at this point...

[mabel-the-mudokon]

{ Click Here To See The Beginning Of The Quest }

{ Previous In Character Update }

A couple of hours had passed after they had stolen the stashed away brews from beneath the factory, and Beetle had shown signs of exhaustion from carrying the extra weight. Mabel had gotten down off of her pet sleg to walk beside him and ease his workload, guiding her blind companion with a rope attached to his tusk.

»» ──────ஓ๑ ✧ ๑ஓ ────── ««

After half a days journey in the darkness, a pin prick of light could be seen ahead, and with it, new found motivation for the tired travelers. Deeming it safe enough to speak at a normal volume, Ferris addressed the fatigued Mudokons he has been leading.

"Alright everyone, once we're out of the tunnels we should have enough daylight left to find a place to set up camp by the riverside." And with such a simple statement, the mood had been lifted. Even Beetle perked up upon hearing what Ferris had said, picking up his pace and making excited yips with every step.

Mabel too was relieved, just thinking about a good night's sleep seemed to numb the aching of her feet. With their spirits back in full swing, they made it out of the caves. Mabel blinked repeatedly and rubbed her eyes as they had to adjust to the sudden presence of sunlight. Once her blue orbs had gotten used to her new surroundings, she realized how much she had missed the woodlands.

The trees and sky above her were simply captivating after spending two days soley in the dark. The wind was what hit her next, making her feathers tingle with excitement as the gale gusted through them. The fragrance of sweet smelling plants bloomed all around the lush thickets, filling her lungs with pure bliss. But the best sensation by far was going from the hard stone floors of the caverns, to the soft grass ahead of them. Mabels feet now felt like they could run forever so long as she got to be out in the open again.

Taking notice of her reaction, Ferris decided to tease his friend a bit. "I bet you'll miss the caves huh?" He asked with a raised eye brow.

"I don't think I could miss those caves if my life depended on it!" The dove grey mudokon laughed at him a bit. Just then it occurred to her that Oren might have taken offense to her disliking a place so similar to his home. However, she was relieved to see him have a good humored smirk on his face.

"I'm just upset that I didn't get the chance to pummel some sligs back there." Oren flexed a bit to emphasize his strength, making Mabel roll her eyes at his childish banter. Walking closer to her with his Elum not too far behind. "Dont you worry, little lady, if we run into any danger out here I can handle it." He laughed while pretending to be exhausted from flexing his arms.

Going along with his quip, she poked the muscles on his forearm. "I dunno, they seem a bit flabby to me." She said with a revel of disbelief, giving him a smile afterwards to show that she meant no offense. Luckily for her, none was taken as he reacted with an over exaggerated pout and crossing of his arms.

"C'mon Azure, we don't have to take this from the likes of her!" He chuckled at the end of his statement, guiding his blue tinted Elum towards the front of the group with his brother.

Mabel chose to take up the rear position of the covey of mudokons so that Beetle wouldn't have to walk as fast. "How far did you say the river was from here?" Her question was directed up at Ferris.

"At our current pace?" The red colored mudokon responded, looking back at the group to determine their speed and wager a guess. "I'd say it's no more than two hours."

Two more hours. Just two more hours until we can finally catch a break and set up camp. She thought to herself, as her stomach audibly growled. Two hours can't go by soon enough...

{ Next In Character Update }

[jamesvanriemsdyk]

Hey James I have a hockey hot take for today: rookies actually shouldn’t play every game no matter how well they’re producing.

This season especially but even in a normal season. The jump in workload from juniors to the NHL is huge, and you should rest your new guys a game or 2 every now and then so they don’t burn out and get hurt from playing when they truly have not rebounded from the last game

hm i dont.....i dont know that i agree with this. bc like for me, that feels patronizing. if my boss did this to me, theyd basically be telling me that they didnt think i could handle the responsibility of my job or the responsibility of taking care of myself, and thatd piss me off yknow? i think the bigger issue is like, the fact that EVERY player is so terribly bad at taking care of themselves and doesnt give themselves time to recover lmao

[cttrajan1206]

Aodhdkysjsu @justalexnoelle so I said I would do this and I have and oh mY GOD i cannot believe i soent time on this but i did. Its at 800 words and will stay that way but live with the knowledge that if it wasn't 2am rn, I would easily make it a 2K slowburn lmao

Anyway, here's the thing! The rarest pair of all, our goopy Nightmare x Parodia(chan)

..... *sigh* please dont unfriend me for this XD

~~~

Nightmare groaned as he stumbled back from his outing, pumping a fist onto the table. Error and Killer jumped, the former scowling as his cards scattered onto the table. Concerned, Cross looked back at the table from his stance at the sink, making drinks.

"Everything alright Nightmare?"

He grumbled back.

"I'm in a bad mood. Shut up."

Error rolled his eyelights, stacking his cards up again.

"Of course you are, you haven't had your morning coffee have you?"

Grunting, he didn't deny the fact and Killer tilted his head.

"Why don't you have it? You just came back from your favourite coffee shop. And," he perked up, "speaking of, where's my milkshake?"

A glare was shot in his direction, followed by Nightmare muttering.

"I didn't get it. Was distracted."

Silence swooped in and settled over all of them. Nightmare was direct and forceful- he was never distracted. Interest piqued, Cross finished with Error's hot chocolate and placed the mug next to him, careful not to touch him as he slid to the door.

"Then do you want me to go grab them for you?"

Groaning again, Nightmare shrugged.

"Do what you wanna do."

Killer cheered as Cross playfully scoffed at the act.

"That's great cos I'm going to."

The next day, Nightmare took a deep breath before he entered the shop, determined not to let his eyes wander this time. It had been a surprise to see them last time but he was determined for his coffee no matter how pretty the newcomer was. Sauntering up to the counter and growling at any other customer that was in line before him, Nightmare's goopy tentacles slithered behind him, leaving trails of black. Instantly recognising him, the cashier froze with a smile on his face.

"Hello there sir, how can I help you?"

Nightmare scowled.

"A large black coffee and medium cherry milkshake."

"C-Coming right away."

As he waited, Nightmare drummed his fingers on the counter impatiently, avoiding looking at the New One. It made him angry just thinking about it. How dare this shop take them in? How dare that thing make him feel so nervous? How dare his heart beat a little faster looking at them! These kind of weak emotions were for Dream to handle, why should he get more on top of his workload?

"Oh so you've noticed our newest addition?"

Nightmare blinked. Having returned, the cashier's voice made him realise he'd ended up staring at them after all and a turquoise flush dust his cheeks faintly as he haughtily looked at the cashier. Quickly slipping him the money, he snapped at the other.

"Who says you had to know?"

Nervously chuckling, the cashier gave him the change and exchanged something that made Nightmare's heart stop.

"Her name's Parodia, can't talk much of course but we call her Parodia-chan a pot of the time."

It was hard to say that Nightmare spending all night awake was abnormal. He hardly slept after all. But spending the entire night thinking of Parodia was definitely abnormal and he hated it but… even so he couldn't stop. The bright flower she kept atop her head. The spiky exterior she seemed to have. The quiet allure of her constant silence. He couldn't stop himself from thinking of her and the emerald colour staring back at him from behind the counter. Wait this wasn't right, he was Nightmare! He was literally a lord of negativity with evil lackeys at his beck and call. Why was he melting over this one Parodia?

...Maybe because she was really, really cute.

Over the course of a few days, Nightmare found his crush was growing deeper and deeper. He found himself going back to the coffee shop other than the mornings, purely to order something and then stare as she stood around. Ordering a mocha, he picked an obscure and hidden seat where no one would bother him and used his tentacles to lash out at any who tried. But no matter how long he watched, he knew in his black rotten heart that Larodia would never feel the same way. He wished he could grow closer to her, peeling off the spikes she protected herself with, exposing the softer side she had within and take care of her and all of her needs. Meanwhile, the other sanses began to get curious, whispering amongst themselves and creating conspiracy theories over who it could be. They were all dead certain it was the cashier/barista of the shop. Resolving to get to the bottom of the matter, Cross offered to accompany Nightnare as he went to get coffee.

"Sure who cares."

Was Nightmare's grunted answer as they trudged inside. They ordered, got their drinks and then sat down. Nightmare laser focused his attention on Cross, who was thinking over the barista's interaction and how much of a chance Nightmare had. It was hard to keep his interest on the mumbling skeleton so Nightmare felt his eyes wander around, flicking toParodia who was just behind the counter looking pretty as always. Sighing, he gazed at her longer, only snapping out of it when Cross's jaw fell open. Dumbfounded and stunned, Cross asked in shock.

"Dude… are you making goo goo eyes at a cactus?"

~~~

There it fucking is

I dont even regret this lmao

[fairycosmos]

ms cosmos there is something wrong with me in the brain i need to do my homework so bad and i very badly don't want to... i'm gonna scream a thousand times into the void it's already past midnight and i genuinely can't make myself work on this thing. i am thinking i might take a nap and then a shower and do it but i'm scared it wont work and i still won't be able to do make myself do it. do u have... any tips

hey, there’s nothing wrong with you man. dont worry about that. i get stuck in this exact same loop a million times a day, even for super simple tasks like getting out of bed, and i know that a lot of people do. it’s hard to break out of it and to get yourself moving, harder than it seems. but it’s not a matter of laziness or something you need to feel guilty about. even if you can recognize that but the shame remains, know that blaming yourself won’t get you anywhere and it is not a reliable emotion in this context. i think it could be a good idea to get a glass of water, take a few breaths and try to recenter yourself. dont spend too much time thinking about whether or not you should get up, just let your body move into action on it’s own. take a moment to examine your physical needs - how tired are you, have you eaten, have you stretched? do you honestly think you’re capable of focusing and making a start on the work right now? if not, that’s completely ok. i know it’s frustrating to accept that you’ve been planning on doing something only to push it off after worrying over it to such an extent, but ultimately your health and sanity comes first and the homework will always be there for you to return to. it’s better to start again with a refreshed mind when possible. i promise, it’s not the end of the world or of your academic career. i know the education system has conditioned you to push your own limits, but that’s a bullshit approach. point is, anxiety tends to amplify this sort of issue so it can be helpful to take the time to close your eyes and find some perspective. anyway, if it turns out that you do feel physically capable of attempting your homework, then i have a few suggestions to get you going (they’re not concrete, you can just try them on like a coat, see what fits) : 

try to identify for a few moments what it is you’re trying to avoid by not doing it. whats the worst case scenario, and how likely is it to actually occur? how will you feel in an hour based on your actions in this moment? if you try and then decide to nap anyway, you’re no worse off, are you? 

give yourself an incentive. make a deal with your productivity. like, if i start my homework i can sleep in a bit tomorrow. or i can buy that snack i really like. or i can take a mental health day later this week. whatever works for you.

then, break down the task into sizable chunks in your head. a job half done is always always always better than making no attempt at all in situations like this. even if you just get the outline done, or the first few questions, that’s a solid foundation and a great effort. it’ll also show your brain that it’s not as difficult as you’ve been fearing, which may encourage you to keep going. 

there’s also the ‘123′ method - count to three and then just make a start in an almost robotic way, despite what your mind is telling you, just let your body guide you and get some of it done. the constant looping thoughts add fuel to a never ending fire, and the only way to put it out is to choose what you need to do and do it.

ask a family member/whoever you’re quarantining with for some support. i know it’s late, but if you end up doing it later - their encouragement and presence may make the whole thing feel like less of a chore. 

when it comes to procrastination, more energy is spent on the build up than it is on the actual matter at hand. there’s no wrong decision to make here, you just have to make one so you stop feeling stuck. try to be gentle with yourself as you come to the conclusion that best suits you, ok? if you don’t manage to begin your homework now, it’s because it’s past midnight and you’re tired. after some rest, the workload will probably feel like a lot less to handle. just because you’re dealing with this cycle of anxiety right now, doesn’t mean you always will be. take it as it comes and do your best. that’s all you can ask of yourself, literally. im proud of you for caring about your education despite the stress that’s on your shoulders. if you need a friend or want to let out some stress, my inbox will be open!! take it easy.

[uh-velkommen]

I got people arguing on twitter about whether or not six textbooks is too many for one class so let me put this into perspective for you

Im taking five classes, if each class assigned six books, thats 30 textbooks. Teachers sometimes assign 2 chapters a week, so just picking a random number lets say there's 60 pages per chapter, 2 chapters per class. Thats 600 pages a week. On top of that we have 10 hours of work-study, 2 hours a day. 6 hours of sleep bare minimum, 1 hour or so of recommended studying, 3 hours of classes a day, 1 hour or so to eat in 15 minute intervals. Lets say you get 30 minutes worth of homework for 2 classes and an hour to write an essay. Now if you read 300 words per minute which is "average" it takes about 16 hours for six hundred pages. Thats 31 scheduled hours of a 24 hour day, even more if you're dyslexic or have other learning disabilities. Or if you have a normal job that makes you work 20 hours a week or 7 hour shifts a day, what now?

Now you dont have to read 600 pages in one day and you most likely wont be assigned an essay everyday but that doesnt negate the fact that this nonstop work is extremely stressful which affects learning qnd in turn, grades. Also what if people cant afford that many textbooks and then they fall behind trying to scrape up 3,000 dollars for 30 textbooks at 100 dollars each.

People kept commenting say that if you can't handle six textbooks then you shouldn't be in college. That is so classist. Its a typical "poor people should stay poor mindset." When you say "Why don't they just go to school and get a good job so they won't be poor anymore" but then you shame poor people for not being able to afford anything in a world meant to keep poor people poor. Just because you think six textbooks a class is normal doesnt mean its it's easy for people to do Brian. All of a sudden people are lazy or too stupid because college workload is to unnecessarily heavy.