#im doing it anyway bc i like to talk and want to be talked to in return BFNFV

[the-meme-monarch]

huh sorry for disappearing for like a day and a half. a weird guy appeared

[dreadnought-despair]

hey y'all yeah this is the post you think it is

after two official tries and several unposted attempts over the course of almost 8 years, i think im calling dreadnought despair, er... mostly dead? BUT im bringing this blog back! ill be picking stuff to answer from the askbox (keep in mind i have a job and im getting old lol) as well as just drawing the kids bc i miss them

i also feel pretty bad about where i left off, so i'm considering finishing out chapter 1 (if i can remember how i had all the code set up 😬) but it would take A While. so heres a poll

more of an explanation under the cut. if you want to see what else I've been up to, check out my art blog @amelias-art and my twitch [AmeliasArt], where i've started streaming pretty regularly on tuesdays and thursdays around 7pm CST!

im sure this cancellation isn't a surprise to anyone but i just wanted to get this out there for my own peace of mind

it has nothing to do with the wonderful folks who supported me through the years and everything to do with my mental health, getting older, and frankly poor story planning. it's a classic case of a project that never had a strong outline and thus ballooned in scope as it went-- you'll see what i mean when i start trying to answer asks about what would've been the endgame LOL. and ill do my best to answer some stuff, but there are some unintroduced concepts and characters that i would like to save for other stories so i may be vague about parts of it

even if it was masterfully planned, though, it still would've been hard to really pick up again-- I started this fic in college when I was at my most suicidal, and the reboot happened in 2020 which, well anyway,, im in a better place now with a loving husband, a stable job, a healthier relationship with my queerness, and multiple mental health diagnoses and medications. im proud of what i did accomplish with dreadnought, and im grateful to it and the community for getting me through some miserable times, but it's still a reminder of those times in and of itself. maybe by officially shelving it i can move on

thank you so much for sticking around! it really means a lot to me

[dippersguidetotheunexplained]

Dude I feel you, the fandom post-BOB has kind of killed my enjoyment too. Hoping one day when all this madness fades my interest will come back, but I’m just…not enjoying it these days at all. I have avoided looking at any fan content, and feel really drained even when friends who don’t have shitty takes want to talk about it or send me stuff. interest just severely chopped down, and even rewatching the show recently I felt severely less invested.

Anyway, all that to say you’re not alone, and I’ve appreciated seeing your posts.

yeah idek ive been trying to post like normal since reading through the actual book & realizing the content in it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be but the entire fan reaction to it has just been driving me up the fucking wall as of late like i just feel on edge posting here atm to be honest -_- i dont think im going to stop posting entirely but i do think its going to be a little more sparse here for now just bc i truly have not been having fun lately

[is-on-its-way]

orison wip

My hc is scully was with child from the ivf and she lost the baby in Orison… I know… Im absolutely not well. 🤗

Shes gone in the morning when he opens his eyes.

He sits up “scully?” he calls out although he doesnt know why. He knows shes gone. 

No answer. 

He gets up and walks around, still nude, to the bathroom, kitchen, and extra room. She’s gone. Long gone. The sink is dry. 

He looks on the dining room table for a note.  they always leave notes. 

It was three words long. 

Mulder, Im sorry 

He let out an audible groan of despair and exasperation. he hadn’t wanted her to regret it and she was. Their first time and she was ashamed. He rubbed his face and got the sleep from his eyes, thinking what the plan was.

He called their office.

No answer.

He dialed again. 

“Hi sir, Is scully with you?”

“No. Why agent Mulder? Skinner said with a sharp tone of warning.

“Sir, were going to need a personal day.”

“Agent mulder! Where is she…” he hears as he pulls the phone away from his ear.

He calls Maggie.

“Hi Fox.” Comes her sing song voice.

“Hi Maggie. Is um… Is scul… is Dana there?

“Yeno.” Then a pause. “Sorry Fox, shes… I haven’t seen her today.”

“Thanks Maggie.” he said, closing his eyes. He exhaled a sigh of relief at finding her so quickly. All of his anxiety, well most of it drained away. He hoped he hadn’t ruined everything by letting himself become her solace. 

“Im coming over. I need to see her.”

“Okay” she said a little quieter. “Bye Fox.”

Hes already pulling on underwear one handed as he tosses the phone on the bed and searches for his shirt and pants in the tangle of clothing on the floor.  

Cringing at the thought of scully ever finding out he’d talked to her mother in the nude with the memory of her still on him. He hadn’t washed after all, just got up, used the toilet, wet a washcloth with warm water, and handed it to her so she could clean herself up before she got up. He’d fallen asleep as she was in the bathroom but he remembered her coming into bed and wrapping her in his arms, whispering its “Its not your fault Dana” as she sobbed into his chest; As he teared up in her hair. 

Maggie opens door and lets him in. 

Scully’s sitting on the couch looking worse for wear, face pink and puffy and blank. Unreadable for a moments that feel like eons. But then her face softens, and his own melts from apprehension to he meet her with the same expression. 

Maggie interrupts their silent communication glancing from one to the other.

“Ill be upstairs I have to get back to the laundry.” She says gently. Retreating without either of them glancing at her. 

Mulder stood in his spot leaning against the molding of the living room entry. Waiting for her to speak.

“My mom is not good at stealthy stuff” she said finally. 

“I would’ve come anyway if she was” he chanced a small smile at her.

She gave him a tense smile back “ of course you would.”

“You think you can just leave bc youre ashamed? How many times have i been embarrassed in front of you? We’re past that Scully.”

“This is different”  she said in a quiet whistful voice as she looked away from him to the sky outside the windows.

He went to her, he could no longer hold himself at the distance he knew she wanted. 

Instead he knelt down on the floor in front of the couch at her knees. He whispered her name like a secret word, like a prayer, like it was the most sacred word in the world. He leaned against the couch hands itching to touch her. But waiting for her to find his face. 

“Dana” he said again with the same reverence. She closed her eyes and turned to face him. When she opened them it was a revelation. His heart compressed as if squeezed in his chest. And he felt a wave of emotion crash over him. 

He found her hand in her lap and wove his fingers through hers. Playing with them like he’d done a hundred times before. 

“You told me, you said you didnt want me to regret it.”

“Do you regret it?” He tried his damndest to not let the cold chill of panic flooding his spine show on his face or in his voice. He knew it would be no use she knew him.

She looked at him, sorrow on her face and he prepared for the worst. 

“Not you” she reached a hand to his cheek. 

“I regret how I did it. Why I did it”

“I couldn’t see your face and put on a smile this morning when you woke up.”

“I don’t need a smile scully I don’t need anything other than who you are.”

A tear fell down her cheek off her chin and into their hands. 

“Dana” he said and leaned his forehead to hers. “Our baby” he managed, before his voice failed him.

He choked back a sob.

“I didnt realize how much love I would have even before…” he said his voice shaking. As he found her face with his hand and held onto her as if she were a life raft.

“Oh mulder” she called out in a high pitched desperate cry as sobs shook her body. He wrapped his arms around her and they cried together and touched together and kissed and held each other. Away from everything and everyone. A family for a moment in time. A family forever. 

@today-in-fic 🖤🤍

[hinamie]

spiraling

[the-phantom-peach]

Meeting the Light Dragon ✨🐉

[tagged as spoilers!]

[obsob]

making and weaving and loving! like we have done for millennia!!

[anna-scribbles]

chapter cards for thirteen: november - april

read on ao3

[skunkes]

[bitegore]

Zionists want you to conflate Judaism and Zionism. Zionists want you to believe that Judaism cannot exist without Zionism and that all Jews are Zionists. Zionism would have Jews believe that a Jewish state is the only way that they can be safe from antisemitism and will point to any instance of antisemitism as proof that Zionism is the solution- so Zionism wants gentiles to be antisemitic in their support of Palestine. They want you to conflate all Jews with Zionism and the state of Israel, and they want you to treat all Jews regardless of political affiliation as the face of Israel. Antizionist Jews exist, and incidences of antisemitism ostensibly acting against Zionism will not help dismantle the forces propping Zionism up.

Don't do their work for them.

[ruporas]

asking and receiving (bonus below readmore)

[ID: A black and white, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood. In the first panel is a close up of Wolfwood's mouth as he says, "Vash". Accompanying it is a close up shot of Vash's eye, widen and cheeks flushed. Wolfwood presses a knee against the open space between Vash's legs and says, "Tell me everything you want from me." Wolfwood's face is equally as flushed. He continues to say, "I'll give it to you. Everything." As he talks, a wide shot shows the both of them in white space. Vash is sitting, leaning a little back with both hands pressed against the surface he's sitting on. Wolfwood is in his white dress shirt, stripped of the blazer. He's still leaning in with one knee in between Vash's spread legs, his right hand touching Vash's lips and his left hand behind his back.

The shot closes in on Vash's mouth and Wolfwood's hand against it, pressing down on the lower lip as he says, "You have to ask though. Go on." His hand moves down to Vash's chin, gently holding it. With a shy and uncertain expression, Vash hesitantly asks, "Um... K... Kiss... Please?" Wolfwood, without wasting a second, leans in and kisses him and indulges by pressing deeper, eliciting a small noise of surprise from Vash.

Wolfwood moves away from Vash first and with a smile, asks, "What else?" Vash tugs on Wolfwood's left sleeve, wordlessly budging Wolfwood to give him his hand that was still behind his back. In the next panel, Vash utters, "Hold me..?" He's holding Wolfwood's left hand with his own while his right hand is reaching for his waist. Wolfwood complies, moving his left hand to Vash's shoulder and his right hand continues to touch Vash's cheek. Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

More comfortable now, Vash leans in to kiss Wolfwood. Wolfwood catches him immediately, pressing his thumb against Vash's lips to stop him before demanding, "Hey. Ask." Vash looks back in surprise and Wolfwood meets his eye with a quiet, insistent look. They're quiet for a moment before Vash leans in again and curtly requests, "Kiss. Me." Wolfwood says "Good", smiling as he lifts his hand away, and meets Vash's lips. In the next shot, Wolfwood had adjusted his position, sitting on Vash's thigh. The hand that was once on Vash's cheek has moved its way to Vash's nape, pushing away the collar of his jacket with his pinky. His other hand continues to grip on Vash's shoulder. Still kissing, Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

In the next shot, Vash is starting to turn, moving Wolfwood with him. Vash asks, "Let me on top of you?" Wolfwood says, "Mhm" before asking again, "What else?" The next panel shows a close look of Vash's face. He's looking down, flushed and shy just as he had been at the beginning, but now, more decisive. Vash asks, "Wolfwood... Let me have you..?" A panel of Wolfwood taking Vash's hand into his, pulling it towards his chest. The next panel shows Wolfwood lying down where Vash had laid him. Vash's hand is on Wolfwood's chest, covering the cross of his rosary while Wolfwood's hand lingers against his, loosely pressing Vash's hand in place. He looks up at Vash with a shy smile of his own, flushed cheeks. He says, "All yours."

A panel shows a close up of Vash's tender gaze before he leans down to be closer to Wolfwood. The final shot is a front view of their positions, Vash's face turned away from the viewer; Vash is leaning over Wolfwood who's lying down with his right leg draped over Vash's legs. Wolfwood's left hand holds onto Vash's left arm. With finality, Vash says, "...Mine." End ID]

[ID: A follow up bonus comic in a looser, sketchier style. They're laying comfortably in bed when Vash asks, "What was that earlier?" referecing to the start of the previous comic. Wolfwood glances away and says, "To get you used to it. Asking. And getting what you ask for. Since you're alwasy hesitant about it." Vash's eyes widen, tight lipped. Wolfwood continues, "Knowing you, it'll be a tough habit to break..." When he says this, Vash can't help but laugh, unable to deny it. Wolfwood slowly brings a hand to Vash's cheek and continues to say, "So I'll keep trying -- whatever ways I can... to get it through your thick skull." Vash takes Wolfwood's hand with his, kissing the the palm gently. Wolfwood's eyes soften and holding onto Vash's cheek, he leans in to try for a kiss. Vash says, "Hey..." before stopping Wolfwood's lips with the back of his hand, a smug look on his face, "Ask." Wolfwood's embarrassed and with little irritation, asks, "Really?" Vash smiles, saying, "You're in need of practice too." They pause for a moment, Wolfwood looking contemplatively, before he's leaning in again, asking, "May I please kiss you?" Vash looks him in the eyes and says, "Yes." The comic ends with a "chu", indicating an off-panel kiss. End ID]

[cerealmonster15]

i want jamiazu + idikei to go on a double date so badly i think the vibes would be So Very Turbulent

[ganondoodle]

( elden ring dlc spoilers )

(sort of personal rambling post about my feelings about it, not looking for lore discussions)

its so obvious to me that base game radahn and dlc radahn are two entirely different entities really

one is a nigh mindless mess of what remains of a respected and once, and still in a way, very powerful general, like a tragic memory of what once was, even in this zombie like condition you can get an idea of who he was, even if only a little bit, the way he fights in synch with leonard for example

the other a recreation of him but like it was made by someone who didnt know him at all, shallow and surface level, either unintentionally so bc he really didnt know him well (and didnt care to get to know him) or intentionally made into somethign that fit miquellas IDEA of him, who he wanted but not who he really was, it shares name and design traits, to some degree fighting style, but it lacks "him", he has no voice, no shift in expression, he does whatever miquella wants, a perfectly obedient, silent, animated statue (even more obvious in second phase ...)

i mentioned it in a previous post but even his changed designed feels strangely off, basic elements are there (red hair, yellow eyes, golden lion theme) but it lacks cohesion (imo), like an action figure not a real person, its shiny and cool looking but doesnt make sense for him, he even has the sixpack armor thing, and overall a roman aesthetic to him, mulitple braids in his hair (a trait of miquella), useless swords hang around his waist, arms exposed, overall incredibly thin compared to base game radahn (be it just the armor or not), like designed by someone who has no or little idea of how swordfight works, almost .. childishly cliché

and yes, the fact that leonard is entirely missing is significant in my eyes, he is very important to radahn, its one of the few things we actually know about the real radahn, but miquella probably either didnt know or doesnt care, he doesnt care about leonard, of course he isnt here

"promised consort", promised by who to whom? if miquella, perfect little miquella, says it is promised to him, it has to be true and good and no one would would dare suggest hed lie (i dont think radahn would like that title either, ...like even his title in the end isnt about who he really is)

its all about what miquella wants, his perspective is told to you over and over- what radahn wants, his perspective, what he believes in doesnt matter, radahn doesnt matter, the only thing that matters is how he can serve miquella, how this idealized, silent puppet that is nothing of himself apart from basic design traits and name obeys miquella

by rot or by miquella, just a mindless toy whenever you see him

and it just makes me sad and angry ......... its tragic but so much so that it borders on cruelty for crueltys sake, it was never about radahn :(

[ink-the-artist]

forgive me if you've been asked this before or if its annoying, but how did you learn to use colored pencils like that? your art is so special to me.

ty :) I took an art class for a few years where our teacher had us buy prismacolor pencils as one of the art supplies and had us use them kinda like paints, pressing down hard right away and blending the colors together. its not how youre supposed to use them she was just trying to teach us to use color and ig this was more to the point. I picked them up again years after i stopped going to that class just bc they were there and i wanted to play around w them a bit and ended up actually enjoying it when doing it on my own terms lol

[dukeofthomas]

I can't find it now but there's a post about suspension of disbelief and how it's broken when the story starts trying to excuse it. "character gets knocked unconscious for hours but there's no further issues from this" okay 👍 "and actually this makes perfect sense because of this and that" um no it doesn't why are you lying to me. like i am willing to ignore the holes and the discrepancies!! all you need to do is let me and not bring unnecessary attention to it!!!

and all that is my issue with the whole robin child soldier argument. like i am willing to ignore it i am willing to engage with the fantasy literally all you need to do is NOT try to convince me that Actually It's Fine Because They Want To Do It or whatever. like literally just shut up about it and i can engage with the fantasy!!

[hinamie]

色彩 [Shikisai]