#i dont think this is coherent but i typed it out so i'm posting it

[carsonian]

*mcconaughey voice* alrightalright... Grievances Ask Game #s 3, 16, 25?

3. What's your biggest tumblr pet peeve(s)?

When folks posit as SteveTony fans and GUSH over x but y is just. There. Barely, even. Not my thing, honestly. When it comes to the fandom stuff I reblog, I'm here to see SteveTony content sure but also to get to know PEOPLE so I LOVE seeing behind the curtain into their lives, interests and headcanons. But when it's just a hyperfixation on one character over the other, I'm like Cool, good for you! But I'm not going to follow you. Just not what I'm here for. TBH: I don't use Tumblr religiously enough to have a pet peeve so maybe that's not the right answer....less of a pet peeve and more just a what-I'm-gonna-click-very-quickly-out-of.

16. Name a canonical aspect of SteveTony’s relationship that you think is problematic/not mentioned enough

Uh. MCU has the predictable hang-ups about Ultron and Civil War with Tony and Steve getting their respective character beatings. I feel like the comics have a lot more content to mine as far as problematic behaviour to explore. Maybe--as far as not mentioned enough--just HOW much of a fumble the team was. Tony leaving at the end of A:AOU, Bruce/Hulk fucking off, Nat kissing Bruce and manipulating him, Thor and Steve both being too aggro--all of this shit is so Bad when you think about it. Maybe one day I'll write a fic where they're all Like This and SteveTony are also fucking but uh. What the fuck was going on there, eh? Uhh I guess an extension of that would be Steve being written in fic as someone who pulls his punches but being the total opposite in the films up until IW. The man doesn't account for the serum much? And maybe we should explore that, even though I'll admit that I prefer writing the alternative. & I wish, on Tony's end, that his "mastermind" tendencies/pulling strings BTS were explored without flinching from his control tendencies. We could probably get some very good stories out of Hyper-Aggro!Steve x Control-Issues!Tony. We probably already have, TBF. Drop 'em in the notes, folks!

25. Share an unpopular opinion you have RE: fanfiction (writing, culture, etiquette, etc.)

Being insistent on updates is never cute! Honestly. There is the occasional "oh that's sweet that they really like the fic" but a lot of the times when I see comments--mostly on other fics, I'm not talking about mine here--that boil down to "update plz", even if it's worded kinder, I'm just like.... Shut the Fuck Up. After writing a truly horrendous amount of fic last year, I've gone full circle with the process and realised that the attention you get from readers is never going to be more fulfilling than the actual writing, so if you're constantly pushing to get stuff out to appeal to/satisfy readers, you're going to get very quickly uncharmed with the whole fic writing gig. True enjoyment is what makes it sustainable, and a huge part of that is writing on your own terms and by your own timeframe. I'm less bugged about it when I see it in my comments because I'm not out here reinventing the wheel but some very, very good writers in the fandom get a lot of that shit and every time I see it, I will indulge in an emphatic, "ah fuck you, hoss". Is that an unpopular opinion?

Ask game here.

[yeyinde]

I found your COD works on ao3 and there is quite literally NOTHING else that makes me ascend higher than your writing AAAAHHH your prose is incredibly seamless and blends so beautifully together that i find myself on the ground afterwards because EXCUSE ME?? They didn't tell us you could do that with words?? (youre the reason im researching a game ive never played before in my life at 3 am) how you are real

Anyway!!! I dont know if this was already asked, but i wanted to know about your writing process and how you got to where you are now

Thank you for always giving us your best work!! 🩷🩷🩷

it's only Thursday and here i am. just bawling my eyes out. this is incredibly sweet, and you are being way too nice to me, honestly!!! 😭 thank you so much!! and i'm so glad you've been enjoying what i write so far 🖤

i did my best to actually answer this in a way that was somewhat coherent but it's really hard to type through the tears.

i don't have much of a writing process, tbh! i mostly just shape things around a concept or a scene i want to write about, or one that i kinda picture in my head. the rest is mostly just filler to get us there.

i think i spend the most time on words—the placement, the meaning, the sound, and the way it looks/flows with everything else. i'm very particular about the ones i pick. i know a lot of it might seem like regurgitating a thesaurus (which it def is, tbh!!!), but i really love etymology. everything has a purpose. even though a lot of what i write is just gratuitous smut lmao

i also really love scripts. i don't write multiple drafts. what i end up posting is usually the first draft with minimal editing (because i am egregiously lazy and also hate re-reading my own work), but as i write, i like to make the outlines for scenes in the same style as a script. i think it gives me more flexibility to really dig down into what i want from a particular moment by framing it like a beat from a movie or play. it might not be for everyone, but it helps me focus on what i need to do—especially with dialogue.

as for how i got to where i am now: i definitely got much more confident in my particular style, which i think is obvious if you read my earlier stuff to now. i was very worried about how i came across in writing (like using rare words, dabbling in wordplay, going on very obscure tangents and making strange metaphors), but i'm a lot more willing to experiment with things than i was before. i also don't take myself seriously at all. everything i do is for the fun of it, so i've never felt pressured to stay within a certain genre or style. i just do what i want, mostly!

[quodekash]

OKAY it's now the morning so it's time for me to share all of my thoughts from this episode. prepare yourselves, its gonna be a lot. also a lot of it isnt gonna be very coherent. you have been warned.

tinn calling gun 'darling' over the phone 🥺

photjanee why must you be heteronormative and assume tinn likes a girl

istg pat calling yo 'bro' was the funniest thing ever (maybe i was just tired lmao)

look at this style gay man. this icon. this king. i love him with all my soul.

this man's face is one of the most precious things on this planet

i thought we were ten minutes in and already getting a soundwin moment, but then sound freaking rejected win's offered seat and sits at the front???

poor win is so confused

why was tiw getting in the bus van thing with the pool toy still around his waist

sir what are you doing

WE FINALLY GOT THE FREAKING BEACH SCENES OMG

THEY ALL LOOK SO HAPPY IN THAT GROUP PHOTO (por can you send me that group photo pls?)

YEAAAAAHHH WE FINALLY GOT THE TIWPOR PHOTO TAKING. AND ALONG WITH THAT WE GOT THEY SMILING AND LAUGHING TOGETHER, AND TIW TAKING A PHOTO OF POR WHILE HE POSED AND LOOKED CUTE AND THIS IS NOT STRAIGHT BEHAVIOUR

i deeply appreciate the tiwpor crumbs

i do not, however, appreciate being catfished bY A CUTE SOUNDWIN BEACH MOMENT

yay for cute tinngun beach scene tho

even if it is ruined multiple times by people

THE OISHII ICE TEA IS HERE, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

ITS TIME FOR A CUTE GAY MOMENT

(i cant explain how much i want this ice tea)

(i love ice tea)

why is tinn making out with the ice tea

and then gun made out with the ice tea so that they indirectly kissed and this is not at all what i was expecting from this product placement but honestly i love it

naturally yak had to destroy everyone's hope and happiness and freedom

he is, however, deeply iconic.

tinn: how did my honeymoon turn into a music practice camp? tiw: my situation is worse tiw:

tiw, i love you, but that's not worse.

TIW CHOKING ON HIS DRINK WHEN YAK ASKED THEM IF THEYRE CRUSHING ON HIS JUNIORS AND HE IS IN FACT SECRETLY DATING ONE OF THEM (well, hopefully. maybe. if hes not yet then he will be eventually. he has to be. i need canonical tiwpor in my life)

i understand the cover dancing. but why must you make music kids run and do squats and stuff. music kids dont want to exercise. leave the music kids alone. (i feel personally attacked from this. most of my friends are music kids. i dont want to be hanging out with them and relaxing on the beach and then suddenly forced to *terrified shudder* exercise)

yak telling por and pat and win and yo that theyre lacking something. idk about the others, but i know what win's lacking

he's lacking a boyfriend

i have the not-yet-disproven understanding that por has a magical gift in the art of somehow-becoming-gayer-every-single-time-he-comes-on-screen (ill make this its own individual post one day with evidence and stuff)

TIWPOR CRUMBS WHILE TIW IS TEACHING THEM TO DANCE

SOUND-TINN RIVALRY CRUMBS, YES, THEY BETTER FLIPPING EXPLAIN IT SOON. THEY DONT IN THIS EPISODE. BUT IF THEY DONT EXPLAIN IT BEFORE THE END OF THE SHOW IM GONNA PUNCH SOMEONE

"Dont you want to try a love song?" "Oh, please. A love song?" "i'm just saying. if youre not into it, thats okay." "its not that im not into it. but im more afraid our members wont be into it. look at them. none of them is romantic. none, none at all" "But there are many types of love. let's say puppy love or sweet love, im not into them either. i prefer the tough kind of love *he's smiling and thinking fondly now*" "right. i like that too. in the beginning, we just didnt stop fighting. in the end, i blushed for him without knowing it."

SOUND MAKES A FACE OF REALISATION

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

"Gun." GUN IS CONFUSED. HE LOOKS OVER. HE READS SOUND'S EXPRESSION. "hey!" "you just said… don't tell me…" "wait, no-"

"DID YOU KNOW I LIKE WIN?"

HE ADMITTED IT. HE SAID IT OUT LOUD. AND TO GUN OF ALL PEOPLE. GUN NOW KNOWS. HE KNOWS ABOUT SOUNDWIN.

"HUHH????? YOU LIKE WIN???" "keep it down! people can hear" "you like win?" "i do." "ah! youve been avoiding him lately because of this?" "…yes. when im close to him, i just dont know how to act. when im near him, i feel so freaking awkward." sound, babes, its okay. you're allowed to have feelings

"should i just tell him honestly?" UMM??? YES????? ABSOLUTELY YOU SHOULD, YES PLEASE

gun why are you changing the subject. sound is asking for advice. dont just leave.

TINN ALSO KNOWS NOW

i love the way they were hiding behind a rock and spying on sound omg

side note: tinngun's height difference may kill me one day

sound and gun are sitting on the side watching the dance that the others practiced, and sound cant stop looking up at win he's so whipped i love him

"something im really into?" *proceeds to stare directly at win for a number of seconds*

THOU POOR LITTLE PINING GAY OH HOW I PITY THEE AND WISH TO GIVETH THEE A BIG OL' HUG

3/4 THROUGH THE EPISODE, YK WHAT THAT MEANS? THE SOUNDWIN PART

WIN IS APPROACHING SOUND WHILE SOUND IS WRITING

I REPEAT, WIN IS APPROACHING SOUND WHILE HE'S WRITING, WE GOT A COTE RED, CODE RED EVERYONE

win is asking whats up with sound recently

sound is aggressively avoiding eye contact

"im on mars looking back at earth and can still see you're mad. what are you mad at me about?" sounds thoughts: for being so bloODY HOT WHY MUST YOU BE LIKE THIS

"i said nothing. you should go now. im continuing to write the song" SOUND BBY DONT PUSH HIM AWAY HES ALSO IN LOVE I JUST DONT THINK HES REALISED IT YET

WIN STOLE THE SONG BOOK THING, I REPEAT, WIN STOLE THE SONG BOOK THING

SOUND IS VERY TENTATIVE AND KINDA SCARED

"you said you would write a song about chasing a dream. why did it turn into a sweet love song?" "well- im- exploring different types." suuuuuuuurrreeee. nice cover up story there, sound. subtle. he'll never figure it out.

"...do you feel anything after reading that??" POOR BBY IS DESPERATE HE NEEDS A HUG (i volunteer as tribute to give sound a hug)

win looks down at it. reads it again. looks back up at sound.

"i do"

WE'RE GOING FERAL AT THIS POINT

THEYRE SMILING AT EACH OTHER

WE'RE TEARING OUT HOUSES TO SHREDS

BUT THEN--

"i feel like this doesnt suit you at all"

WIN.

HE WAS TALKING ABOUT FEELINGS.

LIKE THAT FLUTTERY THING YOU GET IN YOUR CHEST EVERY TIME YOU SEE HIM?

YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT WIN

I KNOW YOU'VE FELT IT

"it gives me goosebumps" WIN THIS IS SO VAGUE, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?? DO YOU MEAN GOOSEBUMPS WITH A NEGATIVE OR POSITIVE CONNOTATION?? IM NEURODIVERGENT AND SLEEP DEPRIVED I NEED TONE INDICATORS

"give it back. a dumba** like you will never understand" :[[[[

"what a waste of time" excuse me sir. the last time you said that you kissed him. now you're walking away.

(thats probably a thing i can analyse at some point. sound and his usage of 'what a waste of time' and an insight into his thoughts and his character. ill do that at some point)

FREAKING GO AFTER HIM, WIN. BLOODY EXPLAIN YOURSELF

sound is now sitting on the beach. he is sad. that makes us sad.

look at this sad boi, he nEEDS A FREAKING HUG

tinngun are approaching him to provide words of comfort

"i saw everything. its okay. if i were you, id be ticked off too. dam it. you wrote a song for him, and he badmouthed you back." and sound has this tiny sad smile on his face "actually, i wasnt that surprised. even if i told him directly, he wouldve turned me down anyway. you saw it. we're too different." HES TRYING NOT TO CRY DANG IT "it's good we ended it this way" SOUND- PLS- STOP- NO- WIN DIDNT KNOW WHAT YOU WERE SAYING, HE DIDNT REJECT YOU, HE LOVES YOU

"you can put your mind at ease now. no one is breaking the club rule." tinn is literally standing like three metres behind them. sound trusted gun enough to tell him that he likes win. i swear, if gun doesnt tell sound about tinn RIGHT NOW (or at least soon) IM GONNA TELEPORT INTO THE UNIVERSE AND SMACK HIM

"im sorry. im the first to break the club rule." YES. GOOD GOOD GOOD

"what??" "actually, im seeing tinn" G O O D. YOU SAID IT. WELL DONE.

sound is like rly confused and he looked behind at tinn and tinn kinda shrugged and nodded and sound says "how's that possible? when??" "my couple is no different than yours. tinn and i have nothing in common." YES YES YES YES BRING HIS HOPE BACK PLS TY GUN "but our dissimilarities got us to this point. just because you and win are so different, doesnt mean you two cant be together" YESSSSSSSSSS comforting hand on shoulder "trust me"

AND SOUND IS LOOKING AT THE SAND AND I THINK HES TRYING NOT TO SMILE BUT ALSO TRYING NOT TO CRY AT THE SAME TIME, HE NEEDS A HUG, ITS OKAY TO CRY, DONT WORRY SOUND

okie now hes smiling and nodding yayyyyyyyyyyyy

(btw im getting all this from constant commentary i messaged to my friend (who hasnt seen the show but basically has through my bad explanations and screenshots and screen recordings) and i started watching the episode as soon as it was out, and at this point through the episode id been watching for an hour and a half. i have too many thoughts and comments grbhbrhbrhb)

"i changed my mind. i will finish this song." YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

excuse me gun??

im sorry, i love you, but that position is TAKEN

by TIW

he smelt it before either of them even KNEW

gun can be, like. the guy that hoists the mainsail or something

this next scene killed me

win knows sound's favourite bread

win's apology is to give bread

that's so in character for reasons i cant explain

and he bought the gay-moment water

and win unscrews the lid and it's mirroring that scene from last time and my HEART

GRABBING HIS HAND AND THE DRINK AND STEPPING CLOSER?????

WHAT IS THIS

THIS IS SOME WEIRD FLIRTING

SOUND DRINKING WATER WHILE MAINTAINING EYE CONTACT

SOUND WHY DID YOU STEP EVEN CLOSER

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

E Y E T O L I P F L I C K E R

GUYS JUST KISS PLS

TINN IS ASKING IF HE CAN KISS GUN

I REPEAT

TINN IS ASKING GUN IF HE CAN KISS HIM

WE GOT A CODE BLUE, CODE BLUE

and gun didnt let him, but thankfully tinn is a walking green flag and isnt getting mad or forcing himself upon gun. i love these two so much.

Gim. please. rest. you dont need to work every hour of every day. you're over-exerting yourself

OMG TINN'S MUM AND GUN'S MUM SCENE?? YES PLEASE, SIGN ME UP. THEYRE BOTH QUEENS

many more of gim's little accidental clues and photjanee's gonna figure out who it is that tinn likes

gotta love that perfectly-timed phone call tho, dam

HOW IS POR STYLISH EVEN WHEN DOING WEIRD EXERCISES

HOW DOES HE DO IT???

also LOOK AT THE GENDER ON THIS MAN

I WANT IT

pat's shirt is the mood of the week

they all look so Normal™️

and then there's freaking por with his freaking rich-kid-twink-ness i love him

OHHHH THE DANCING PERFORMANCE IS WHERE THIS CLIP IS FROM (the one of pat doing the worm. i kept vaguely wondering what it was from. and now i know)

I CANT EVEN RN-- THIS IS SO FUNNY

IM LITERALLY CRYING FROM LAUGHTER

look at this little happy proud gay man

i know i probably shouldnt call him little cos he's 20cm (nearly 8 inches) taller than me, but idc, that's not the point

look at this little happy proud gay man

i know i probably shouldnt call him little cos he's 20cm (nearly 8 inches) taller than me, but idc, that's not the point

theyre gonna do so goooooood

also satang is probably grateful to the ends of the earth that he didnt have to do this dance lmao

omg he managed to un-twink for 0.5 seconds

my gender is win's poofy sleeves

also if you're familair with @ashedddaisy's red-yellow soundwin theory, win is wearing orange here. orange is literally the middle of red and yellow. he's getting there.

DON'T WORRY, TIW, THEY DID IN FACT SLAY IT (boys)

HE'S SO PROUD

IT'S SO FUNNY TO ME

the first to approach him was por. i repeat, tiwpor crumb alert, we got a code violet, code violet

AND NOW FOR THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR

SOUND PERFORMING HIS SONG. BY HIMSELF. ON STAGE. IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE. AND THAT AUDIENCE HAPPENS TO CONTAIN WIN.

I PROMISE, I WILL CRY (again)

"im not much of a talked, so im using this song to represent my feelings for someone" you know, im surprised yak didn't pick up on that. youd think he'd like, try and stop that, cos that's a love-related distraction

AHA I KNEW IT

I FREAKING KNEW IT

I CALLED IT I CALLED IT I CALLED IT

THE FREAKING TRACK THAT KEEPS PLAYING BEHIND SOUNDWIN SCENES

IT'S FREAKING EVERYWHERE

IT'S THERE WHEN THEY BADMINTON

IT'S THERE WHEN THEY "KISS"

IT'S THERE WHEN WIN PUTS THE HELMET ON

IT'S THERE WHEN SOUND IS THINKING ABOUT 'what im really into'

IT'S THERE WHEN SOUND WALKS AWAY AFTER SAYING 'what a waste of time'

IT'S THERE WHEN SOUND DRINKS THE WATER

AND NOW SOUND PRESSES PLAY ON THE MUSIC

AND IT'S THAT FREAKING TRACK

AND I KNEW IT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i cant even describe my thoughts on the song

i made an earlier prediction that this would kill me

i was right. i might currently be dead. the song killed me.

SOUND WALKING ALONE AFTER THE SHOW THING AND WIN CALLING HIS NAME, PREPARE YOURSELVES FRIENDS

"why do i feel like you just yelled at me through that song" BECAUSE HE DID

"how do you know i wrote it for you?" "it's so obvious. i can see that from mars" MY FREAKING HEART-

"why did you ask then?" "seriously, since when?" "remember when we practiced badminton together?" and win has this tiny smile and sound has this tiny relaxed smile and theyre actually killing me

YOU'RE KIDDING

THERES AN ENTIRE SCENE AFTER THE BADMINTON AND WE'RE ONLY GETTING IT NOW AND WE WERE NEVER TOLD???

YOU'RE. FREAKING. KIDDING.

THIS SCENE IS THE DEATH OF ME

also the track is behind the umbrella scene too

THEYRE LITERALLY BOYFRIENDS

THEYRE DOING IT ON PURPOSE

THEY W A N T US TO GO INTO CARDIAC ARREST

i refuse to believe that win doesnt actually like sound yet

he just hasnt identified/confronted the feelings yet

and sound's reaction was the saddest thing ever, like i could smell the tears he was holding back when he said 'then we stay as friends'

BUT THEN WIN FREAKING SAYS "for something i dont know, im willing to try"

and if you're thinking 'WHAT DOES THAT MEAN????' then you would be correct

"c a n y o u c o a c h m e" i am dead

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

GUYS YOU'RE LITERALLY TWO CENTIMETRES FROM KISSING

AND THEN THE SCENE FREAKING ENDS

I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER WEEK???

I CANT BE PATIENT

PATIENCE IS NOT IN MY BLOOD

AAAAAAAAAA

also side note: win is now wearing a yellow shirt under a yellowish-orange jacket thing. back to the red-yellow soundwin theory, he has feelings for sound, he's got the yellow shirt. and on the outside, he's still kind of hiding it, still trying to figure it out. the jacket is almost like it's been stained more and more yellow over time, and win wants sound to turn it pure yellow, he just cant figure out how to get there, which is why hes asking sound to coach him. over time, he'll wear colours that get closer and closer to sound's shade of yellow, to show him finally realising his feelings more and more. :]

"no pressure or anything, but our club's future is in your hands" jeez yak, that's a little intense dont you reckon???

omg gemini finally gets to do music-related things

i can see him jumping for joy in his mind

he gets to sing and play guitar

OMG WE GOT TWO NEW SONGS TODAY

probably cos last week we didnt get any songs

but WOW

"wow. did you write that?" "no. you wrote it. you wrote it in here *tinn points to his own heart* i just sang it out loud." WHEN I SAY THAT THESE TWO ARE LIFE GOALS, I FREAKING MEAN IT

and now tinngun are kissing with a notebook between them

WHY do they have to ALWAYS get SO FREAKING CLOSE and then DONT??????

theyre really cute tho so i cant rly get mad

OH MY GOSH FREAKING HOT WAVE IS NEXT WEEK???????

THE FINAL FREAKING COMPETITION IS N E X T W E E K

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FUNCTION FOR SEVEN DAYS WITH THAT KNOWLEDGE IN MY BRAIN

ALSO NEXT EP WE'RE GONNA GET SOME SOLID CONTENT OF SOUND ATTEMPTING TO FLIRT AND WIN FALLING FOR HIM SO YAY

it's not quite what i was hoping for, but they're definitely aiming towards getting soundwin together, so its okay, theyll get there eventually

final thought/conclusion: this is my new favourite episode cos its like 50% soundwin

[bunglegaydogs]

ramble ramble ramble

my eyes are stinging and ive got an agonising headache rn but I'm so bored and I want to ramble ramble ramble rn

not even about bsd (3AM NOT CLICKBAIT GONE WRONG GONE SEXUAL) surprisingly enough

(pls dont actually read this this is purely just me yapping LMAOOO)

just about ao3, fanfic culture, and wattpad really

i just need my thoughts OUT of me before I lose my mind

whats getting on my FUCKING NERVES RECENTLY is the sudden migration of wattpad writers to ao3 - this sounds SO BADDD let me explain

i am gladly welcoming the people who are willing to learn the new aspect and format of ao3 and who are actively trying out the website and adjusting themselves to it! in no stretch of the imagination should these people be shunned away from the site just because they're from wattpad

HOWEVER

the issue lies with the people who come onto ao3 and actively slander other writers/creators who have been using this site far longer than they have, simply because they don't understand the rules and basic etiquette of the website they're invading and trying to take over

not only is it just disrespectful to shit all over a community that has been built on the very thing they're all losing their shit over, but its then creating a negative space on ao3 where a lot of people wont want to write for fear of people like that, or at the very least will make people want to hide their works more to keep it away from the prying eyes of those fucking VULTURES

its the people who just shit all over authors and slander them in their very own comment section where they should feel PRIDE AND JOY at their readers commenting nice and pleasant things about the story they read. not being told to kill themselves or to never write again or receive death threats

ik this is such a bullshit little post but its actually been weighing so heavily on my mind as of late because I've just seen an influx of these hateful people spawn in out of fucking nowhere

i dont know whats happened with wattpad exactly, all I know is that something major was changed and it caused a lot of people to migrate

and thats perfectly okay - if youre going to be respectful and follow the rules of the site you're moving to

these people are so spoon fed on wattpad that they cant fathom the idea of actually searching for the fic themselves - they need to rely on an algorithm so that they don't have to look or think for themselves, really

not only that, but these people come onto the site, knowing exactly what it is (an archive for ANY and ALL type of fanwork, and pretty much anything that is legally allowed is allowed - gore, incest, pedophilia, rape, etc. ik we all know this but yk lol) yet they decide to try and censor these fanworks simply because they don't like it, without knowing the one golden rule - DONT LIKE DONT READ

again this yap makes no sense but imma keep yapping

a post i saw on reddit the other day that stressed me out was somebody complaining about age gaps.

the age gap was legal (Even if it wasn't, don't like don't read)

and they called the older person a pedophile...???

i just dont understand - its fanfiction. FAN. FICTION.

just because somebody writes something does not mean that they endorse that in real life. i write about some heavy and dark shit - half of it I don't agree with. writing is an art form, a way to express feelings and thoughts that are personal to you. even if they're not personal to you, its FAKE. it ISNT REAL. and yet these people cant find anything better to do with their time other than shit on other creators for being pedos or rapists. HUHHHH?

genuinely baffles me

another point that was raised in the comments of that post was people who shit on pairings where someone is really small compared to the other person because it's "child-coded"

GIRLIE WHATTTTT

sorry, brb, gonna go tell all my friends that they're pedophiles for being friends with me bc I'm too small

it BAFFLESS ME MANNN

i have so many more coherent thoughts on this but rn they're jumbled and discombobulated and Im actually on the verge of passing out so gn

[parasolids]

sorry for posting about this so much ive just been chewing on it. when i was a kid i got evaluated for autism and the eval came back as not autistic but has traits at subclinical level; to my understanding, i think this means basically not enough traits to qualify for diagnosis/not disrupting my life? i have some doubts about the eval tbh bc it says my mom said no about behaviors i display, like saying i never get unusually obsessed with things. i think my mom thinks i started doing that in high school but i think i did the same thing as a kid a lot, just with more 'normal' things like pokemon or whatever

idk ive been chewing on that lately, bc its been revealed to me a couple times lately that a couple people do think i am on the spectrum, and also the ways im socially just........... not....... good. cant talk well out loud, weird/flat intonation, hate making eye contact or even looking at people's faces, carry myself weird, inexpressive, word vomiting all over people about my favorite album if they even mention music. i mean i do try to act normal in a situation. i can see myself doing it all wrong. i also cant seem to get it right and i do wonder if those things are probably the aforementioned Subclinical Traits. which sucks a little because if its your personality you can change it but if its just your genetically encoded brain type... you're stuck with that. a trusted professional mentioned (unprompted lol) that retesting might be an option but i know diagnostics are expensive as hell and if i come up positive then that has all sorts of possible consequences about healthcare providers not taking me seriously or even not being able to move out of the US since some countries bar people from moving there

also just kind of feels lonely because like, as far as i'm aware i'm not autistic, but also i have traits that most allistic people do not and it feels glaringly obvious whenever i go outside or talk to people. i dont really feel like i can make claims to being in any kind of autistic communities because i'm not, but i also wish i had like.... a space where i could talk to other people like me? because i have friends at work but i am well aware that i'm scaring the hoes when i rock up and proceed to fail to form coherent sentences around my friends and also make 0 eye contact or anything. i don't even know where to find others like me. it's a little lonely in here. i want companionship

idk if any of yall have been diagnosed the same as me id love to hear more about it bc man the pressures of being human

[mumpsetc]

Hey Harmie! <:) I was thinking and I wanted to ask, since y9u talk a little bit about the curious things you watch on here, what kind of movies/shows/various media do you like and/or would recommend? The only thing that I ask is for warnings on the stuff that you recommend in case they're on the more upsetting side ( ex: heavily gorey/dealing with heavily upsetting themes [ex: suicide])-

I'm Just Gonna Post a General Array of Stuff With No Theme or Coherency So Pick N Choose if You Want :]. I'll Try n CW Everything I Remember But if Something Sounds Esp Troubling Check It On Does the Dog Die

TOSSING EVERYTHING UNDER A READMORE SO I DON'T CLOG THE FUCKIN... Dash

It's Such a Beautiful Day (Upsetting Depiction of Mental Health, Could Possible Trigger Someone Whos Psychotic, Idk Watch This One When You're in a Good Spot)- An Animated Film By Don Hertzfeldt About a Man Named Bill and His Mental Decline

Tatami Galaxy - A Charming 13ish Episode Anime About a College Student Musing About the Variety of Ways He Could Achieve His "Rose Coloured Campus Life". Its Sorta an Anthology Where Every Episode is a Different Version of the Same Events Its Fun.

Funny Games (Extreme Violence, Home Invasion, Child Death) - This Movie is One of My All Time Favorites, Theres a 1997 and a 2007 Version, They're Both the Same Movie though Just With Different Actors and Languages So Pick if Youre In a Subtitle Mood or Not. DEFINITELY Check Doesthedogdie for This One If Youre Sensitive, Theres Something I'm 100% Forgetting

Melancholia (Death, Grief, Big Scary Planet) - Lars Von Trier Kinda Sucks But This Movie is His Best. It's About Two Sisters Struggling to Live Together After One Has an Episode and Also a Huge Planet is Going to Smash Directly Into Earth. A Really Strong Emotional Story.

Dogville (Lots of Tasteless Sexual Assault, Death, Extreme Classism) - Not Actually Sure If I'm Recommending This or Not I Just Think Its Important Sometimes to Watch a Very Artfully Made Movie That Fucking Sucks (I Like This Movie Also So Egg on My Face). Lars Von Trier is the Worst.

Ingrid Goes West (Suicide, Stalking) - One of the More Conventional Movies on Here, Ingrid Goes West is About a Woman Moving to California to Insert Herself Into the Life of an Influencer She's Obsessed With

Swing Girls - DELIGHTFUL Japanese Film About School Girls Starting an American Style Jazz Band. Feel Good Stuff All Around in This One.

We're All Going to the World's Fair (Grooming, Mental Decline) - One of the Most Accurate Depictions of Growing Up Online, This Movie is About a Teenager Named Casey Participating in an ARG.

Wasteland (Cults, Mental Decline) - This One is Free on Youtube, It is an Anthology About a Bunch of People Living In a Valley and The Lives They Lead. Its Hard to Explain This One But the Last Segment, the Final Exit of the Disciples of Ascensia, is One of the Most Lasting Things Ive Ever Seen

Drop-Out Comic (Suicide, Gender Dysphoria, Drug Use, Abuse) - A Free-to-Read Webcomic About Two Girlfriends Driving to the Grand Canyon to Kill Themselves. I'm Gonna Recc This One the Hardest Its Phenomenal, Though Chunks are Currently Down/Being Rewritten But Those Don't Change the Story Much

Sooo Yeah I Hope You Have Fun :] Don't Feel Like You Do or Dont Have to Watch Any of This I Was Just Kinda Spitballing, Sorry if This is a Downer List I Was Typing This Up and Halfway Thru Realized I Had 2.5 Feel Good Picks

[multiplydifficult]

dream (ex-relationship)

we had a dream last night. dont remember well now because its almost night again.

but we were on our couch and our ex was in the room and we were chatting / flirting / im not sure if they ended up on our lap or just moved to do that. At the end they ended up showing (somehow? dream logic) us like a couple faded tumblr posts that basically were basically asking us back out in a cutesy way (and they did like, the peace sign by their face and grinned when we read them) and then we were typing a response, don't remember it exactly now, just that it was simple sentences and quite coherent.

Basically like "i am a bit interested but can't just suddenly jump back into a relationship, we gotta work some things out first, also I'm not comfortable with not knowing what's going on with your blendyness."

Which is pretty much fully what we think anyway. It was just weird to have that so clearly articulated in a dream, yunno?

[mysuckyliferants]

Blog #1 Three reasons I don't blog

October 9, 2022

For a long time I've been hesitant to make a public blog. It's not because I suck or don't have much to say – okay actually, scratch that – it's not only because I suck and don't have much to say, but also because in journalling, I firstly reveal some personal facts that I get scared to be recognized by even though literally not a single person I know IRL uses tumblr; secondly, I reveal some personal feelings, that presenting to a potential online audience that has reached a spectacular high of two people per post in my lifetime, makes me feel vulnerable; and finally, because as you can see I have a special attachment to someone called run-on-sentences-and-long-paragraphs-that-make-no-coherent-sense-outside-of-my-mind (*sigh* there's something so sexy about them) and making a public blog would require tweaking my raw thoughts into something more coherent for mere comprehensibility that I thought would jeopardize their authenticity. (Now, if you're thinking me saying the words "comprehensibility" and "jeopardize" is what I mean by tweaking my raw thoughts and being inauthentic, then no. I often use those types of words, what can I say I like being a fancy-ass-bitch. What I mean by being inauthentic is for example, the capitalization of the title of this very blog that I would instead just write as something mundane and cryptic like "blogging" or "procrastination", adding certain apostrophes in "it's'" and don'ts", correcting typos or capitalizing words like "I" or "F" that follow a period or anything in general that in any way shows that I give a shit. Because my raw thoughts just look like this:

"blogging

for a long time i've been hesitetant to make a public blog. its not because i suck or dont have much to say .... period.")

As cool as that looks, as an artist "you have to kill some of your babies". Yes, that is an actual thing people say. And so, since I kind of want to do this thing, I will put in the effort.

This post was supposed to be about procrastination and how I'm procrastinating something important by writing this post because basically, I'm kinda fucked up but turns out I was even more afraid of writing this so not only did I finish most of the urgent work I was required to do, but I also read almost every single post on this account and cringed really hard just so I didn't have to write this. Funny how procrastination works, so I guess the next time you decide to procrastinate, do it with a task that you find worse than the one you procrastinated in the first place.

[ot3]

on the ‘what do they become divorced from their original context’ the answer is dry as hell i’m afraid to confirm ! it’s like the people who uwuify south park characters, modern tumblr and twitterina tweens don’t seem able to comprehend the old culture orz …

no but the thing is the south park people are FULLY delusional like there is LITERALLY nothing to south park but outdated 'ant-pc' humor and crude art. i have seen a lot lot lot of south park and am speaking with an extensive amount of knowledge on the series and the characters are incredibly 2 dimensional and the show has little to no overarching narrative aside from a few vague plotlines. so like to turn that into shippable fandom fodder you have to be fully removed from reality

RVB, ON THE OTHER HAND, has a heart and sincerity to it that south park completely lacks. the characters are not exactly super complex but they have a nuance to them that is definitely more than the south park characters are allowed because RVB is a narrative show, not an episodic one. there is conceptually something here that makes sense to engage with from a Fandom perspective. which is why its so fucking funny to me because like.

okay like i haven't seen much of the south park Fandom so i know that this exists. but i dont think its the majority. like. i think most people's attempt to reckon with the horrific ideology south park peddles is the 'its satire' defense. they don't want to completely defang the source material. RVB fans on the other hand seem to want exactly that. like there are a bunch of people who seem to be under the impression that if you stripped out all of the jokes made at the expense of minorities rvb would still somehow not only be funny, but actually better. and i just literally don't think that's true because as much as the shitty very un-pc jokes are jokes in and of themselves, the larger impact of it is the pinpoint accuracy with which the show preserves This Exact Kind Of Guy Anyone Who Was Alive In The 00s Knew. like you lose out SO much of what makes the show Hit if the characters aren't Those Guys.

so when you want to like, woke-ify that canon and bring modern standards of acceptable humor + make these characters have something approximating the mainstream contemporary understanding of queer theory, disability activism, and critical race theory, i think you'd end up genuinely doing a disservice to the show. i'm not trying to say Actually, Calling People the R Slur Is High Art And You Can't Get Rid Of It (the gay jokes however ARE high art and i can say that) but i will say that i genuinely think RVB has a lot of value as a time capsule for early post-9/11 american ennui and i do think attempting to sanitize it would remove the authenticity.

south park is on the other hand a LOT more anachronistic in it's vibe, and the characters in that show aren't a direct 1:1 stand in for any type of real subculture that existed because the characters adopt whatever contemporary bigotry is the exact right level of edgy for the current set of writers. some south park episodes, individually, are of their era but overall the show isn't a meta-level Period Piece in the way RVB is. the show doesn't HAVE that authenticity because it lacks a coherent perspective or ideology to align itself with. i dont know what im saying anymore what were we talking about. this got away from me.

thesis statement: south park shippers are fully removed from reality but people who want red vs blue characters to talk to each other about the split attraction model are slightly less removed from reality, which actually makes it worse

[simisaint]

I apologise and I hope you'll forgive me for using your simblr askbox for this but i just read your rants on your writing blog and I had to drop by. You can ignore this ask if it oversteps boundaries. I hope people can see n understand that writing fics is not your source of income and respect the fact that your office job is what gets your bills paid. I dont think they've got any right to say "leave the company" type-thing to you when they dont know the whole story, it's just unecessary advice-

I really hope people, instead of screaming at you to update SY with their pitchforks in the air, wait patiently for the update (WHENEVER u decide to do so) and at least empathise with your situation as working people/corporate slaves themselves. Im sure most of us are the same so I dont understand why some have the nerve to act entitled on the internet? I mean i get it that the story might be something they were looking forward to but god, its not just them who have lives separate of tumblr. (2)

I'm now ranting, I'm sorry but seeing you apologise for not updating SY when you already said you've put the series on hiatus till 19th May didnt sit well with me. I didnt think you needed to apologise when you've said time and time again that your promotion has left you with very little free time on your hands. Doesn't that clearly mean that you wont be able to update your fics as quick and frequent as SN got updated cause you literally don't have free time? Shouldn't people respect that? (3)

And shouldn't they respect the fact that free time doesn't always mean that you're gonna spend it all on writing SY?? Like, fuck i'm so fucking mad rn. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with entitled readers too who think that all your free time should be devoted to writing fics only. You genuinely sound so fucking stressed, frustrated and thoroughly overworked in your posts, Saint and I hope people fucking open their eyes to see it instead of being Seras and seeing only their woes. (4)

I do hope and pray you get your break and rest first cause i know you've got your personal reasons for putting yourself through this whole overworking ordeal and i'm no one to tell you what to do or not. I can just hope for your good mental and physical health and for your boss to not ask you to cover full shifts last minute when you've already worked full time for yours the entire week. Again, before I forget, PLEASE, update SY at YOUR pace. (5)

I've been locked in ever since u posted SN1 so im not leavin til' I get SY15 (OH WAIT, ill have to get off the roller coaster if u ever discontinue it, which is totally fine too! pls dont take that as me pushing u to finish sy T-T im sorry) Take your time with it. You're already risking your health over your job rn and u dont need to do that with writing- something that's your escape. ANYWAY, ive talked bs for way too long and i apologise if this all isn't coherent and for repetitive ask-ings. 6

it’s okkk and thank u, i appreciate u sm :’( i’m sorry you had to see me freaking out earlier. i’m truly just fed up and exhausted with my life outside of this web space. i only apologized for not being able to post frequent updates bc i want readers to understand that i’m not abandoning sy by choice. in fact, i get very veryyy sad that i can’t find the time to write it. i feel bad that i can’t even have proper conversations with my moots here and they prob think i’m ignoring them 😭 i also just came across this post where two of my readers are having an exchange abt how sy has slow updates and it’s making them lose interest and i was kinda hurt but i understand tbh sddjfjsjs but YOU, ILY AND I HOPE YOU’RE HAVING A WONDERFUL DAY. tysm for dropping by and for understanding my situation (ik i sound dramatic but aaaaaaa)

i’ll open anon on main so u can reach out there too <33

[catboy-dysphoria]

What does GSA kid mean

Generally white, middle class suburban kids who have the privilege of being safely out in middle/high school, who tend to assume everyone else's experiences must be similar to theirs.

It's a way to describe this like, well intentioned but at best useless sort of loud activism, like insisting that coming out as soon as possible is necessary to be Authentic, assuming anyone who isn't out is cishet, getting into petty drama about flags or labels, that sort of thing. But since they're GSA captain or w/e they tend to think they know all about everything. Things are generally very black/white.

I and others have called it GSA Kid Phase/GSA Kid because these types of folks are fairly common in (mostly suburban) GSAs. Which I can confirm in my experiences doing LGBTQ education in schools. You can generally tell who the GSA Kids are.

The primary problem I have with GSA Kids is that since they're relatively privileged they can assume that like. Homophobia is over? Or focus more on LGBTQ infighting than actual issues. Kinda like that post about how some older person will call themselves transsexual and someone will be like "um actually u can't use that word anymore uwu" that's a GSA Kid.

I feel it's a phase a lot of ppl go through, so I'm sympathetic to it, it's just sort of exhausting and people do need to like. Grow out of it if they want to get into actual queer activism. Realize that things dont fit neatly into Good Opinions and Bad Opinions or Good Things and Bad Things. But some people never do I guess.

I haven't slept hope this is coherent.

[choerrypuffs]

ok i was filling out luvdsc's form n i went on a whole rant about ur jeno demigod fic bc i just finished it so i just thought id spam u here too bc oml. first off thank u for posting it idk how long it's been up there but the pure Joy of checking ur acc & finding it: unmatched. second off sweet god im a sucker for bff2l but. that fic. made me a e2l believer i can't. i cannot. your worldbuilding (not just the author's, your contribution n integration of urs into it too) is so impeccable and the way every scene is mapped out so clearly u can effortlessly see it play out in ur head without even trying is just so. so pleasing.

- maybe im a hopeless romantic, maybe it's the disconnected world, maybe it's your writing (most definitely) but it just feels like this fic itself, not the story, is from a different time in the best possible way. it's just so raw and honest and while these days picture perfect writing is wonderful, your way of passing on images and scenes to readers makes it feel like more than just an picture box, idk how else to describe it but i felt so many things while reading n that's how yk a piece of writing is good: if u question ur life after it lol

sry for the spam, final msg i promise: but i can't imagine how much effort n dedication you put into that series. it's really inspiring. it's nice to read something this intense again. from the character growth to the funny bits to the way those two meat heads felt about each other n got us feeling in the process to that last scene, you've done a really lovely job on this n i can only hope you're as proud of it as we are happy to read, tysm n goodluck on wtv uve got planned next <33

wow i think this is the nicest ask i think i've ever received about my writing??? i am so floored that i genuinely am at a loss for words rn except thank you so so so so much ??? my mind is all over the place bc this ask has made me so happy but wow i've tried my best to gather my thoughts into a coherent response and i apologize if it's all over the place

first, i am SO excited that i have successfully converted you into an e2l believer as that is the superior trope 🧎‍♀️ and pls you are too kind !!! i'm so honored that you're praising my worldbuilding so highly omg you make my writing seem so much cooler than it is 🥺 the og pjo books can never be beaten, but i really tried to create that sense of community throughout the fics and i wanted to make sure the fics all connected with each other so that it truly felt like one universe (hence all the easter eggs) !! it makes me really happy that you were able to visualize the scenes in your head because i struggle with writing descriptions A LOT so i mulled over those for a while 💀 ESPECIALLY for jeno's fic because there was so much happening in it and more location changes than any fic i've ever written

FKJALKEL IM GONNA CRY OMFG IM SUCH A WRECK RN BC THIS IS HONESTLY ONE OF THE HIGHEST HONORS A WRITER COULD RECEIVE 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i wish i could express how grateful i am with more than just saying thank you but THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!!!! my goal is always to evoke any sort of emotion from my readers, even if it’s just a laugh so to hear you express how you felt during the fic makes me feel so accomplished 💗💗💗

DONT APOLOGIZE OMG YOUR MESSAGE MADE MY DAY I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE YOU TAKING THE TIME TO TALK ABOUT MY FIC ON CAT’S FORM AND TO LEAVING SUCH A KIND ASK IN MY INBOX 🥰💗💖💞💓💘💝💟✨🌷🌸 my period must be coming bc i am legit teary eyed as i’m typing rn 😩 and yes even though i like to complain about how much i suffered writing the series, i am genuinely proud of it but i’m even prouder of all the love and support i’ve gotten over this long ass journey 🥺 you guys have been nothing but lovely to me and hype me up even when i feel like my writing is shit and i hope you know how much that means to me <33333 not to get all sappy but thank you again ilysm ❤️❤️❤️

[blacknidstang]

id be interested hearing your rant about islam

Alright, dear anon.. this got so long i'm not sure you'll even bother to read but.. here ya go:

I've been writing and rewriting it few times to sound as coherent as possible, since you see, as some one who has grown up in middle east, has been force-fed by school and society the islamic teaching since age of 7, and has been living under sharia law in a dystopian country, there are so much rage against not only islam but any religion that can give the followers something more sacred than human life, that puts some "unknown being" more valuable than humans of the society.

So while writing this i've been trying to be less biased and i dont know how successful i've been.

So to begin with, there are two issues here:

My own problem with religion

The western internet activists trying to redeem it and avoid all sorts of criticism.

Regarding the second issue, i am well aware it stems from the growing concern of islamophobia throughout the world which is as atrocious as any social discrimination. As my friend said and i only quote "even sensible arguments against islam would just incite more hate against them (muslims)"

That's truly understandable but for someone who has a whole different experience of NOT being marginalized bc of my religion, this issue only shows how devastatingly west-centric the whole world is. People like us NEED the criticism of islam bc it's the villain we are dealing with in out country while it seems in west, that villain is christianity.

So about the religion itself, oh boy, how do i talk without offending anyone? For example, the post that set me off in the first: the op was criticizing christianity for it's idea of "blind faith". Now i don't have enough knowledge of judaism to enter that argument but Well let me tell you about islam in that regard then.

Islam really promoted itself as religion of rationality where people are invited to "argue" over their rationality. But the truth is, i've been there, i studied their arguments. Not only it's severely flawed, but the worst untold part of the story is that, if you wanna stick to the religion's initial rules, a muslim who does reach the conclusion that islam is flawed and decided to leave the religion is met with many forms of punishment. So you see the funny hypocrisy here?

And there's a big, baffling issue with islam and any argument regarding it exists. The source for the rules and laws and many beliefs don't come directly from Quran in many situations but from personal quotes of the prophet, his followers, other important religious clerics and such. Like, this religion has over time created this extremely intricate web of clerics and roles for people who are reading Quran and other quotes and analyzing it and reaching new verdicts. And one of the principles of islam is to follow the words of the clerics. So now many of these liberal muslims fall back on the book itself and renounce teachings of religious clerics.

And it's fine and cool but do you think all the extremist problematic stuff comes from the surrounding constructions of the religion? No dear, not at all. Grab the book and you will find enough, horrifying materials by today's idea of human rights. And when you bring that up the defenders argue about:

1. The context, bc for example when yoh have literal words of "you must kill for the sake of god", a good liberal muslim argues about the context, which is the right thing to do in my opinion but then... wait a sec, a turns the whole book into sets of quotes that only made sense in their exact historical context and not a religion to follow 1400 years after

2. That the Quran has been manipulated and changed over time (despite the religion's claim), then, my darlings please tell me what in the world are you trusting? Anything that matches your liking and your friendly liberal worldview with 21st century type of civil right? It's ok you do, damn i wish more people could do that, but please, don't try to sell this version as the "true form of the religion" because you, yourself would be sentenced to death my country by bringing such claim.

So in conclusion, i just want to say i see any endevour to defend not only islam, but any abrahamic religion in its pure form, very hypocritical. Any religion is eventually about blind faith bc all of their rational arguments are flawed and outdated. It's something you either reach with "your heart" or you don't. If you believe it, good for you. You have a god. But if you don't you won't reach there by any rational argument my dear.

Phew. I went off didn't i?

[blurglesmurfklaine]

I'M GOING TO HELP YOU STAY AWAKE BY SPAMMING YOUR ASK BOX WITH AN UNREASONABLE NUMBER OF QUESTIONS FROM THE RECENT FIC READERS ASK PROMPT. You are NOT ALLOWED to go to bed until you answer them ALL! This is an act of love. # 3, 5, 6, 14, 15, 20, 24, 27, 34, 35, 41, 42, 47

LMAOOOOO BLESS U ESPERANTO

this may not be entirely coherent! also it god long (thats what she said) and weird so under the cut lmao!

3.  What is your favorite all-time fic?

Little Numbers. Simple, fun, easy to read, but not too basic that you get bored. It’s interactive! Literally every time I read it, I feel like I’m living their lives, looking down at the phone. I love it.

5. Do you prefer angst or fluff?

This is hard bc I LOVE THEM BOTH!!!

Also, I love angst but I don’t like angst for angst’s sake if that makes sense? I like for it to be resolved, and for the feelings to be expressed and then for everything to be okay in the end. So if done like that: GIMME SOME ANGST THAT FEELS LIKE A PUNCH IN A GUT

6. Do you prefer long fics or short fics?

Long One Shots and thats that on that

14.  What makes you give up on reading a fic?

I worry that this makes me sound pretentious, considering there are some rules I break very often as a writer lol (and that i am CLEARLY not the best writer so like grain of salt yall) but. Grammar. I also read the phrase “pink pucker” in the middle of some smut—referring to a bootyhole—and I had to leave. Other than that it’smostly grammar.

15.  What makes you pick up a fic, what makes it sound interesting?

Honestly... I wish I had a good answer for this but my taste is all over the fucking place tbh lol. If @somefeministtheatrepls recommends ANYTHING to me, I’ll most likely read it. Girl’s got good taste. 

I think I pick fics up like a kid in a candy store and then leave them in open tabs until it’s the right time. Until the pining is ripe, if you will.

If something has ghosts tho, and neither of them are dead, I’ll 100% read it

20.  What’s the weirdest fic you’ve ever read? Describe it.

Oh god.

OH GOD PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME.

I don’t even want to type it out I just want to include a link and let y’all come for me but it says describe it. FUCK.

Slipping Under by slightestwind. Kurt is a fairy and a plant has sex with him no i will NOT ELABORATE JUST KNOW IWAS 16 AND IT CAME ACROSS MY DASH AND I READ IT BC IT WAS THERE AND YES IT WAS WEIRD BUT IN THE WISE WORDS OF BEN WYATT “WHO HASN’T HAD GAY THOUGHTS???”

24.  What’s the longest fic you’ve ever read?

Grey by rainjoy <3

27.  Name a type of fic that you wish there was more of.

Supernatural/scary/surrealist horror stuff (BUT WHERE THEY DONT DIE WHAT CAN I SAY I AM PICKY)

34.  Name a common type of fic that you cannot stand.

Age gaps where one of them is under age and th eother is not. like. ive seen fics where the summary is “kurt is sixteen and blaine is his foster father aged 42. Rated M.” MCSCUSE ME???? I also don’t like that fics like that perpetuate the idea that adopted/step family isn’t your real family. 

 Oh and Teacher/Student relationships. Especially if one is underage and in high school like what the fuck. what the FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

35.  Name all the Work in Progress fics that you are currently reading.

I think the only one I’m reading rn is A Safe Place by @kurtstinypurse and @dreamlandhummel 

The one I read before that was Is There A Twelve Step Just for You by @romanticsanders but it finished posting quite recently (or maybe it was actually a while ago and quarantine is getting to me)

41.  Name a fic that has a perfect ending.

Catch Me If You Can by afterthenovels

Literally this fucking ending hoooooooooohhhhhh my god. Like, it’s set up so beautifully and the last few chapters just hit you in the chest and i am legit tearing up reading about this holy fucking dffuck. there’s one moment I want to explain without spoilers, but its one tiny, tiny detail that is set up so so sooo perfectly that as soon as i read the words I started crying bc i knew what was coming next and i basically spent the remainder pf the fic crying

THANK U SO MUCH ESPERANTO THIS TOOK ME AN HOUR BC I KEPT GETTING DISTRACTED AND IT KEPT ME UP AND I AM ABOUT TO PASS OYT AND SLEEP GOOD! ILY <3333333

[formashimataichi]

Lot I agree with and yes his problem with loss and the way he was brought up is significant.

Here's where I'm coming from though. Karuta itself as a game doesn't reallly matter. What matters in any of these types of stories is not the sport itself, what matters and always will are the characters and their relationships. The sport and competition are useful insofar as they serve as a playground on which these characters develop and interact.

What makes Taichi so interesting as a character is that his relationship with Karuta exemplifies this principle the most. There are different levels of complexities through which it is expressed. First of all there's what we're talking about which is his inability, because of the way he brought up, to deal with loss in a healthy way. We see this in the flashbacks when he's praised and pushed to be the best at even Karuta and he stoops so low to maintain that as to steal Arata's glasses.

But there's also another dimension to it which is his feelings for Chihaya. Huge part (maybe the main reason) of why he worked hard to excell at it is to get noticed by her since it's the thing that has taken her whole focus. That's why he wanted to win against her that badly.

Thens theres another layer to it which is Arata. His inferiority complex with regards to Arata signifies both "struggles". Arata is someone that he (believes) he can't beat. He thinks they're not or can't be even on the same level. That highlights his problematic relationship with losing and not being the best at something as he was pushed since he was a kid. But not only that, Arata's excellence at Karuta grabs Chihaya's entire attention. Her passion for the sport starts with him and he continues to be someone she looks up to. (She later develops her own reasons for reaching the top that has more to do with her rivalry with shinobu)

Apologoies for the long introduction. But this kind of mishmash of struggles and renaltionships fueled by his anxities and insecuries manifesting in his relationship with Karuta is exactly why I don't think like you think, which is that his arc is about coping with loss and therefore losing was necessary. That's merely one aspect to the story. There are different lessons that can be learned and each could take his arc in a different direction. Just to give you an example I can totally see a conclusion where he ends up with Chihaya but ultimately loses to Arata. The arc could be him learning that not being the best at Karuta isn't the end of the world and that appreciation and self worth dont and shouldnt come from his skill at Karuta. That lesson can be validated by Chihaya for whome excellence at Karuta was not a deciding factor in seeing his worth and deciding to be with him.

I could imagine the opposite where he does beat Arata but doesn't win over chihaya. And the lesson can be that it was insane from the beginning to try to win a person over using Karuta and how that developed an unhealthy relation in which he tied his self worth and performance and enjoyment of Karuta to Chihaya(we see that clearly since its been pointed out several times that when she's there he underperforms) . So "losing chihaya" to Arata wasn't the end of the world and his enjoyment of Karuta shouldn't depend on his attempt to win over Chihaya and that he can find fulfillmemt in working hard at something and excelling at it against all odds but free of the insecurities he brought with him initially.

There are many ways through which he can find self worth be it within Karuta or outside it. My problem with your take is as I said the emphasis on one aspect which is the competitive loss. (Also I think it's kinda misleading to talk about loss. He loses a lot and keeps pushing himself all the time. Sense of cope with not being the best or at Arata's level is more accurate). But if you add the Chihaya dimension you could make a coherent but also satisfying conclusion in which he loses in both aspects but finds self worth.

Guess my point is everyone should stop dismissing others criticisms and for everyone to stop seeing their interpertation as the only valid one.

P.s. I still prefer my arc in which he loses in all aspects but doesn't find self fulfillment either inside or outside of Karuta.

Sorry for rambling for so long.

I don’t mind rambling! I ramble all the time, as I’m sure you’re already aware, lol. And I think I understand what the miscommunication between us is now. I don’t think at all that loss is the all-defining trait of his character arc or the only one by which his character resolutions will ultimately be made. It’s just the one I’ve focused on specifically in my posts since yesterday because of the issue I had with people’s interpretation of that depiction of loss to begin with. I wholeheartedly agree that Taichi’s arc conclusion is also definitely going to take into account his feelings regarding Chihaya and Arata respectively; those are also really important closures he has to reach in order to be able to move forward, and they tie in just as heavily to his issues with self-worth. I’ve discussed those in detail elsewhere, though, so I wanted to focus on the loss aspect specifically with that post I made yesterday, because the overwhelmingly negative reaction to it kind of baffles me. That’s not to say that I think people with other view points are outright wrong or that people don’t deserve their right to criticism. Any narrative is going to warrant that after all, and that’s the beauty of discourse! But I feel like a lot of people who are upset with where Taichi’s arc goes tend to feel like Suetsugu abruptly ended it with the Qualifiers and defined it by that loss—even the main translation team that had been handling scalantions for years quit after the Qualifiers were over, because they weren’t satisfied with the direction his story took—and to me at least, I don’t think that was the end of his story, and there’s still resolutions left to be made by him afterward. I can definitely understand people still being doubtful to a degree, of course, but I simply hope people can be patient enough to see Taichi’s ultimate endgame before they decide whether what everything he went through was worth it or not and if that loss was really the end for him. I have my own doubts about things, too, but I want to afford Suetsugu that chance to prove herself first, I guess. I know that’s not something everyone will feel about similarly, but maybe I feel about it that way because I’m a writer myself. 😂

[trunkzbriefs]

the goku black/future trunks arc was a repeat of an arc we've already had for future trunks which is already a red flag but in all honesty could have been done well if it werent ruined by rushed relationships, character assassination and super being unwilling to deviate from its main formula often. as a tldr, because i just wwnt to get to my main point, trunks is back to square one, feeling like he did in z, which is "i'm too weak to do this alone, and i need others to do it instead." which is a very fair feeling when you're literally fighting god and you've been trying to take him down for a year straight. it makes sense! i don't think they should have put him in that sort of situation, because like i said its a repeat and an odd one at that, but it's fine. in z, this comes to a satisfying conclusion, where trunks, though with the help of training with others of course, is strong enough to destroy the androids in his timeline and bring peace. cool! great! so... that's going to be what super is, right? trunks, with a little help, gets the power to take down goku black and zamasu and bring his timeline peace. hell, maybe he doesn't actually do it alone. maybe we can get the goku / vegeta / trunks super saiyan trio back! fuck dude, maybe we even get gohan! super's inconsistent enough to power him up randomly, fuck it!

but the expected conclusion to this arc doesn't happen. trunks gets his little win, by himself or mostly by himself with the help of others, but he doesn't win the entire fight. which is a very, very odd thing to do. you've rolled trunks back to his z state, which could be fine, but then you give him a false win. which doesnt really do anything to push his character forward?

but it can still work! hey, the good guys don't always win, right? so that's fine. its an interesting point to put him at to be honest. he's lost everything. how are they going to build him back up? there's so much potential! so it works. it's fine. But It's Not FIne Because This Is Where It Becomes Apparent That This Isnt Some Kind Of Somber Moment That Was Intended To Be Taken As A Loss But Just Really Bad Writing because trunks doesn't react to this properly in the fucking, SLIGHTEST,

in response to his timeline being erased because of goku, the timeline he's been fighting to bring peace to his entire life, the timeline he's been the sole protector to, trunks, who we have established carries a lot of guilt and blames himself a ton, who can get paralyzed in his own despair but can also flip the fuck out real easily, says, that it's not the worst case scenario?

... and that's it? this isn't explored in depth at all. OK, fine. lets say he doesn't flip out as easily anymore. he's tired. then... you dont think he'd be fucking torn over this for weeks? months? years? you don't think the fact that he couldn't stop zamasu on his own and save his timeline would haunt him? ??

and then we don't see anything for him after that? we don't see him build himself back up? there's no onscreen development for him?? and after all of that, you think he'd just abandon the alternate family he knows to go off to another timeline? do you not think that would feel... weird? and why not make the timeline before/durint the androids? if you're going to give him another shot, why the fuck wouldn't it be before gohan dies ??? ?? Why did Xenoverse 2 do this better than super did ??? Ive been sitting here for an hour trying to make a fucking coherent post about this but every time i type i remember another detail thats stupid or contradictory and i feel fucking insane AND I JUST DONT GET HOW FUCKING XENOVERSE TEO MAKES MROE SENSE THEN THE GODDAMN MAINLINE CONTIUATION OF DRAGON BALL Z FUCKING XENOVERSE TW