#i dont want to leave this discord server and i cant block you because people would notice

[bergatrolll]

Funny how you can go from thinking someone is okay to not liking them. The person in question isn't mean, quite nice actually but everything they do triggers me. Literally everything.

The worst part is that I can't avoid them because that would mean leaving other people I like talking to.

[antiradqueerguy]

coming to your inbox because i like your vibe and have literally no other safe place to rant abt this. sorry if this bugs you delete this if you want but im debating leaving the radqueer community because of ciel/hbki. ive already been wanting to leave for a while, but the thought of leaving has been triggering my ocd and ive not been sure what to do. but after i saw that guy running around and seeing how obviously horrible he is, and how people still somehow like him, i think im going to go through and just delete my blog or ditch it ive seen him talk about abusing his girlfriend on so many different blogs of his and then i go to look at hers and she is so obviously trauma bonded to him, and its so triggering. it makes me sick how shes admitted to not enjoying how he treats her, but says his treatment is okay because its "consensual" but i really dont believe its consensual. and i know its not my business but i literally cant avoid them in this community. ive blocked them so many times but every time they both get termed, i see them again, and get triggered. ive thought about reaching out to opphie, but every time someone does, ciel is alerted and he starts harassing the person reaching out. maybe i just have a savior complex but seeing the way they are together makes me feel sick. i see myself in her and i feel guilty for not being able to help. one of my friends even watched her change her name on a dime in her discord server just because ciel suggested it. its scary that the community just lets ciel get away with everything. i mean didnt he even admit to *graping* her? and people are okay with it because the victim swears up and down that its consensual? it doesnt make it any better that antis treat him like hes just some edgy kid. yeah its true that he is one, but there are also very very VERY clear signs that he is actually a harmful person and that he is actually hurting someone. opphie even posted a list of a bunch of horrible things hes done, and it looked like a cry for help to me, but radqueers were reblogging saying things like "couple goals" and "this is so romantic" i dont know anymore what to do. i know i have to leave that community but i wish there was a way to make other radqueers realize that ciel is not a good person to have in the community. if they want to beat the pro-abuse allegations, they NEED to point out actual abusers like ciel.

TW: using images from ciels past and current accounts and mentions of r4pe

with ciel he avoids everything to do with him and taking accountability for his action, (EH HEM, his past use of ableist slurs towards people)

me personally i believe that ciel is a abuser. he has had a history of abuse and I've documented AS MUCH as i possibly can. i will not let him escape this and his HISTORY of abuse.

to the people who don't know what nonnie is talking about with ciel admitting to r4ping opphie heres a pic

Now ciel has a cult following, his boot licker fans love him, like hmm idk this

he is invincible, unless his connection to tumblr and discord is cut off his fans will continue to protect him and glorify his abusive behavior

#ciel is a abuser get his ass canned

edit: also HIII CIELLL i know you will eventually read this since you have commented on posts made by antis talking about you before, so howdy doo!!!

[softenedsunbeams]

nsfw blogs go away i am a minor

i dont reblog donation posts or asks. im sorry but i cant handle it

ssagesaurus -> mellowmooon -> softenedsunbeams

art tag: lumidraws

-> call me lumi, mellow, moon, sage, neptune, bee sunbeam, any variation of those. i go by many names, you can just make something up also. agender she/he/it, i dont use they/them

-> this is supposed to be a fandom blog!! however i have fifteen mental illnesses and my limbs hate me so i complain a lot!! if you dont want to see that you might want to leave because i almost never tag it sorrry

^ additionally i am constantly exhausted if i dont answer your ask it's just because i had nothing to say to it usually

-> main fandoms right now are in stars and time and deltarune but i dont post about fandoms all that often lol

additionally rain world, hollow knight, warrior cats (only through clangen blogs), wobbledogs, outer wilds, a few other things

-> endos ily endos, contradictory labels are valid, radqueers fuck off, i dont care about pro or anti ship discourse i block people i dont like

i have a discord server now!!! you can join even if we aren't mutuals i promise it's fine

[dextixer]

@Unfiltered-X

Pal, i do not care about your or anti-rwde obsession with RWDE. Half of you people constantly make posts like "Hah, RWDE sucks" while having us under a block. Its pathetic. Genuinely, you can all avoid the RWDE tag, instead you block people in that tag, and then reblog their stuff, to what, shittalk that stuff? You have nothing better to do?

Its all projection. And its sad. Genuinely, maybe you are not obsessed with RWBY, but a lot of your anti-RWDE friends are, to the extent that they will, once again, go to RWDE blogs, take stuff from them, and then privately reblog them to gloat or something.

Yet we in the RWDE are always accused of complete and utter nonsense, just because at the end of the day, you dont care about what we actually think or do. All you want is to project your own insecurities and obsessions upon us.

I made a single blogpost comparing LGBT+ representation in a single game, Hades to RWBY. What, is that a problem? Does that make me obsessed? A single post saying that a games narrative did something better?

I have played a lot more games, read a lot more books and done a lot more things than that, and never associated them with RWBY.

Because at the end of the day, all of this, is a hobby.

Something you people should really learn, because half of your anti-rwde buddies cant discern reality from fiction half of the time.

Oh, and can you also tell them that Tumblr is not the only social media website in existance? I use my Tumblr mostly for RWBY. For everything else i have multitudes of discord servers, because, if i may be so crass.

Nobody gives a shit about Tumblr, it sucks for fandom interaction. Reddit and Discord are better, genuinely.

Can i be frank with you? Do you ever tire of doing this? I have not interacted with any of you anti-RWDE people in ages now, besides that troll whos now posting "Oh, im sad for RWDE" blogposts daily as bait.

Genuinely, the RWDE side is mostly happy to leave you alone, we dont really want to care about you. Yet you seem to constantly barge in RWDE spaces, for what? Just to have a fight? Prove you are somehow superior?

Like, genuinely, half of the reason i have not done much on my tumblr these pasts months is because i am genuinely tired of you people. Hell, the only reason i am on this site is because your side, anti-rwde constantly posted my reddit posts here and then sent people after me on Reddit. Just because i dared to have an opinion.

Genuinely, and this comes from the heart. Grow up, because at this point, i have little need or want to interact with you people, you are just tiring.

We dont want to interact with you. You clearly dont want to interact with us. So, why are you constantly coming after us? You can mute the tag, instead you created an anti tag. Why?

Sigh....

Im writing this knowing that you wont give a fuck about any of this, and you will just use this as another "Bash on RWDE" session or some shit. But genuinely, grow up, and go do something else.

[just-antithings]

A fic writer in my fandom is being called an anti and badmouthed in a Discord channel, with people being encouraged on the downlow not to comment/reblog/kudo/like her stuff. I actually like her work because she does canon compliant fics while the fandom is oversaturated with AUs and it scratches my itch. So I was like, "damn, how disappointing, I follow her tumblr and subscribe to her AO3 and haven't seen anti stuff from her, where did she hide that?" only to be told that she is an anti because she doesn't multiship, blocks people who ship her NOTP and said she doesn't consider herself a proshipper because she finds the term too vague and prone to being interpreted differently based on which group is using it. I literally went @_@ when I saw that. Paraphrasing the convo that followed, I asked to clarify: "So she doesn't harass people, send death threats or advocate for a content she doesn't like to be removed completely?" And the answer I got, paraphrased: "Well, no, but she blocks people over what they ship and doesn't want to call herself a proshipper. And she's a monoshipper, too. Antis are always obsessed with their ship and hate others." And at that point I left the conversation and the Discord server both and spent the past couple of hours leaving long comments on all of her fics, both on Tumblr and AO3. I'm sending this to you to vent so I can excise my negativity about the situation without it slipping into my comments to her. I hope that's okay.

Yea, thats shitty. I also block my notps and depending on the fandom or character, hate multishipping. I also dont directly discribe myself as a porshipper (im not highly active in fandom any more sobik hardly even a shipper at all at this point). The author is very clearly cultivating their own online experience so they can get the most enjoy ment out of it..... You know the thing so many proshippers advocate for. I think its awesome that you are giving her positivity, while also venting somewhere else so she only gets the good parts.

I'm sure most people dont live the whole "i think youre great unlike these other people" like personal if someone dislikes me i dont need people who do like me to bring it up everytime i get a compliment (kind of how a lot of trans advocating posts cant be positive without bring up how much better they are then terfs like yea, but i would like positivity without being reminded about how much certain other people hate me.)

The people in that server are being childish because someone they like wont make the content they want so they are lashing out. They apparently are struggling with the concept that not everything is for them, and instead of going out and looking for things they do enjoy they want to complain. Again childish an its so similar to anti behavior, im not calling them antis but again the same thing applies to antis and them here

Not everything is made for you and other people cultivating their online experience is not a slight on you. Get over yourself and let people use fiction how they want, you dont speak for everyone.

[rantingcrocodile]

longggg vent ahead:

when i was thirteen i knew very well i was bisexual, but i was so sick of feeling horrible because i wasnt straight and i live in an extremely homophobic country. there were no irl groups, at least none i could risk looking for. so i went online and was taken aback by the whole transgender thing. it made no sense to me, and i didnt bother to understand. i looked for groups only about ssa women, and didnt find many bi groups, at least ones i felt good in. i felt strange, like i couldnt relate to these people at all. it was weird.

i found gendercrit and radfem lesbian servers, though. i wasnt a radical feminist, but it would be nice to get away from all of this transgender stuff. i would be a lesbian only for a little bit, just to see what its like to have a community that supports me, but i stayed for longer. i made buddies, i liked talking about my ssa with them. it was great for me. i wanted to talk about my osa as well though, so on another online group, under a different name and profile picture, i was a straight girl.

things were going smoothly until i noticed lesbians talking about how evil bi women are, stealing their communities, their words, appropriating their oppression, and doing anything to get even a drop of attention, which includes trampling them and leaving them to fend for themselves after ruining everything they worked for. i felt guilty, and i knew i was just proving them right by doing this, so without saying anything, i left both of the groups i was a part of. some of the people on the lesbian group dmed me, asked me why i left. i couldnt come up with an excuse, so i blocked them and never responded. then i was 14, and was back to how i was before discovering the lgb community.

i still am feeling tempted to do it again, but i know what i did was immature, and i am sorry for it, but i dont think i will ever tell a lesbian what i did. even if it seems like not a big deal, i think she would be upset with me.

but now theres nothing left, nowhere to go. there is no community, not much positivity, all of the acting and hiding from ourselves, because we cant handle the truth.

now i dont have anything, just a bunch of homophobic and biphobic straight people calling themselves slurs used against gay men, repeating the same "positivity" the same messages, because thats what will get them followers and likes from people. the positivity posts mean nothing to me. theyre just empty words in order to appease me, but thats not how they actually think.

First of all, you were thirteen when you did that. It wasn't the right thing to do, but you were a child desperately searching for some kind of help and support, all on your own without any kind of guidance, and anyone that would write you off as some kind of "evil" because of that would be completely heartless and wrong.

You know that it's wrong and you can't do that again.

The thing is, even if you were "tempted," you also know how damaging being in those spaces are. From all accounts, the majority of online lesbian spaces hate bisexual women to an absurd degree, and hiding out there not only isn't fair to them, but the mental damage it would cause you to be in a space that encouraged you to hate yourself further wouldn't be worth it.

Bisexuals simply have to stick together and make spaces for ourselves to talk and connect, because it really is healing, and I have found in the bisexual discord (for 18+ only, so if you're over 18 you should join us!) that the amount of nuance we can understand by simply being bisexual and talking through different topics with different perspectives without hating anyone other than blatant biphobes is a serious breath of fresh air.

I'm just so sorry that you're stuck in a dangerous place right now and I wish I had some great advice to help you in real life, but you're not alone here and there are others that care about you.

[vampirflugel]

An Apology

Since January of 2021, ive been faking.

I had started to learn more about plurality, which I knew a small amount from seeing DissociaDID. I became obsessed, I started to hyperfixtate on systems and plurality. Especially when I learned about systems that weren’t traumagenic.

I was dealing with a lot of stress, but that’s not an excuse for all the irreversible pain I have inflicted onto the people I have called friends, who have called me their friends.

After the first month or so, it less felt like I was faking and more like I was roleplaying. I tricked myself into thinking everyone was in on it, that everyone knew I was just roleplaying.

Everything about my system was a lie. It’s….it’s so hard to admit that. I want them to be real, I want everyone to be real. Everyone felt so real, I got so good at faking I could subconsciously think up interactions and bring these people to life.

I’ve been wanting to tell everyone i’ve been faking since March. But…my involvement with Pluralpedia made it harder for me. Making more and more friends with those who were plural made it so much harder, made it harder for me to know I have to break their hearts at some point.

I made plural terms to seem more valid and to solidify my place in the plural community. I enjoyed being in the spotlight. I was toxic.

I am toxic.

I used persecutors as a way to gain attention, pretending that they were harming members in the system to gain sympathy and to make my friends pay attention to me.

I lied about experiences I had to make other people seem like they were the assholes for questioning something.

I made other plurals feel bad about their own existence and experiences because of my faking.

I’m really sorry to everyone.

I’m turning 14 in October, I’m still only so young on the internet and I can admit how childish, inconsiderate, and toxic it was for me to fake being a system. For 8 months. 8 fricking months.

You can block me, yell at me, hate me. I won’t mind, I fully deserve it.

I am giving all the plural servers I’m in to kick or ban me, and….I really don’t want to leave because despite all the shit i’ve done i truly do love and like everyone and i just…i dont want to leave im already losing so many people in my life and i dont want to leave, but you can totally kick and ban me if you need to.

Im really sorry. I cant even explain in words how sorry I am.

My discord is Vampirflügel#0001

Feel free to come yell at me, or i dunno…just…anything.

[n7punk]

I was working on this digital fan art for an author whose writing I loved. However, I’ve recently become aware of some toxic behavior on their part. I’m really proud of how the art is turning out though! I even considered making another tumblr to post it so that I could hide my shame. Moment of weakness. I downloaded tumblr to look at She-ra fan art and read other people’s ramblings but I’m incredibly grateful for the thoughtful way you approached the topic. It forced me to dig deep and really think about what I support and what my support means to other people. The depth of discussion around this is hard for me to grasp (cis lesbian using she/her pronouns) but I want to and you specifically are helping me. Long way of saying thanks, I think you’re smart af. I ALSO LOVE YOUR WRITING!!!

ty! rest assured, if i ever do something transphobic, it is an accident and please correct me. I dealt with so much internalized transphobia when i came out to myself (//cw transphobia: i cant count how many hours i spent laying in my bed shouting “youre a girl! just be a girl!” to myself) and it’s hard to deprogram that shit.

The art is a tough situation, especially when you have something like that which you are proud of. If you have friends in the fandom space, perhaps you could share it privately with them so someone can still appreciate it with the appropriate caveats behind the source of the initial inspiration?

Under a read more because I don’t want to give her a voice but I wanna rant about her “apology”:

if she had been at all remorseful, that would be a different conversation, but i am 100% convinced she is a crypto-terf. She deleted her original 6-tweet response that “i’m right that this isn’t transphobic” but boy was it something, and the thin apology she posted later was not sufficient, nor did it feel at all genuine to me.

And okay, let’s pretend that excluding someone based only on their genitals isn’t inherently transphobic: it would still be problematic and hurtful, like having a mug that says “i dont do [fat people]” or any other personal feature. it is discriminating someone based on their body, and nobody would be defending that as a “personal choice” of hers, they would be calling it fatphobic (which takes us back to the part where this was absolutely transphobic).

Then she pulled the “cancel culture is toxic and hurts everybody” card in her next tweet, making herself out to be the victim in the grand scheme. These tweets were not rash reactions btw, they were spread out over the course of several hours or even a day, and she didn’t delete them for many hours afterwards either - these tweets are how she really feels, and the fact she has since deleted everything and is not addressing it shows that she doesn’t want to learn better. (She could be addressing it on her discord/patreon, idk im not on there, but I doubt it).

This isn’t the first incident with her showing disregard for others and it won’t be the last. Her server was a toxic place I legitimately felt trapped in even though I rarely spoke. My readers would notice if I left, so I was thankful when I was given an out to leave. That is when I posted about not taking requests, but I was actually leaving because of the three separate incidents where they triggered me with the disgusting and violent content they posted. They would repeatedly praise authors I have blacklisted for triggering content. If I had owned that server, I would have completely banned discussions of those works, censorship be damned. I can tell you from how she handled triggers that Silk only cares about things that negatively affect her personally. She isn’t a kind or caring person, and that would be enough to earn my block, even if she wasn’t a terf (which she is).

[balizardsnakething]

TW DRAMA AND ME ACTING ON MY EMOTIONS CAUSE OF THIS POST 

Granted I did post this after sending her an apology and I’m glad I now have official confirmation that she has seen said apology. The very fact that I have sent an apology means that I had got over the situation and just didn’t care about it anymore. I also tagged @toomanyfamdom because we thought it was ✨funny✨ and have gotten over the situation (unlike some). 

It should also be noted that I haven’t had any contact with Maddy since everything that happened and at least had the decency to send an apology and move on. Also, for the record, I had nothing to do with that list of toxicity. That list was put together and shown to me by my friends. I then continued to FORWARD THE SAME MESSAGE to Maddy because I disagreed with the list. 

Let’s see, shall we? Up first on the list of hell that I had nothing to do with (and disagree with) there is... “inconsiderate of time zones and peoples family life.” This eventually turned out to be accurate, not just for me but for many others. Madison would organise events like DnD games at UNGODLY hours in the morning (because she is in American time zones) and when us British people were unable to turn up she would kick them from the game and then proceed to shame their character for an hour. Granted her uncle did pass (im very sorry for your loss), but that had nothing to do with anything. Many of us (including myself) helped Maddy and were there for her, and I have plenty of messages to prove it. 

ANOTHER thing to do with time is when I was added to one of the greatest Instagram group chats in the world! However, my sleep was abruptly ruined when Maddy group-called the chat at 4am because she wanted to play Minecraft with a friend. Please direct call next time... thanks. 

Whilst on the subject of time family life, one of the most memorable things this girl did was shame me and attack me on one of the discord servers we were both on. What made this even worse was that I had an audition for a London West End theatre school which had the power to change my LIFE. And Maddy knew this and also knew that it was worrying me and that I was extremely stressed about it. You may say ‘oh, it's just a coincidence’. If you believe that please explain why said post tagged everyone and was posted 5 mins before my audition. Maddy knew this would stress me out, I spoke about the audition and my ability to read into things many times before and she knew this would get to me! A lot of the things Maddy did were petty shit, but then again, that’s who she is. 

Next up is... “shows blatant favouritism.” Well, it’s no surprise Maddy has so many friends! But which ones does she actually care about? My friends and I witness this first hand on many occasions, one of which being another DnD game where she was the dungeon master. Maddy made the turn order by (and I quote’, “the order is in who I love the most.” This caused some of us to feel a little uncomfortable, but we continued until Maddy put each character on a path to different destinations and explained which each path was. By the time it got to me, my dyspraxia/dyslexia couldn't hold the information, and I asked Maddy to explain them all again. Maddy agreed and but then ended with, “You just used up you go, Charley.” I was so confused! Apparently, explanations waste a turn??? But this was fine by me until Maddy explained the destinations to another player, but this time, she let them choose where they wanted to go instead of keeping them on the bench, awaiting their turn. Maddy would also allow people to have longer goes/round claiming that there was more to their story. My turn would be around 2mins where someone else would be 5. Again, petty shit which still happens to make people upset. 

Note: It was not just me who felt this way! Many others slid into my dms because they felt upset with how Maddy treated others but not themselves. 

Up next is, “making your best friend feel like shit for making a joke”. Another reminder, this list wasn’t written by me, it was written by my friend who was watching from the outside. And this is very true. I would often make jokes with people about Donald Trump and America because their laws and president (not anymore) were stupid. This always seemed to annoy Maddy and hurt her feelings. I would often make a throwaway comment but end up feeling bad about it because Maddy would leave the call. I always felt like I was walking on thin ice with her because if I said something even remotely controversial, she would not speak to me and leave the call. This really hurt me because I cared about my friends a heck of a lot and never wanted to ruin any relationships with them. I would send countless messages to Maddy, apologising and crying to her, telling her not to be mad at me. THAT 👏🏻 IS 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 TOXIC 👏🏻 RELATIONSHIP 👏🏻 One joke shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all of a friendship,, but that is what It always felt like! Also, Maddy never specified it was a trigger until recently, and even after she did say it was a trigger, I held back so she could feel comfortable. 

The final thing is: “made you feel bad for your emotions.” Madison needs to learn that EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and that people deal with things in different ways. Not everyone is smart, sensitive or skinny like she is. Whenever anyone hurt my friends, I would lash out and act upon my emotions because I didn’t know what else to do. This is something Maddy heavily criticised me for and something that eventually resulted in me listening to high-frequency sounds so I could get rid of my emotions and feel numb. My logic was that I didn’t want to hurt anyone ever again by jumping the gun and acting upon emotion. But thanks to others, I was pulled out of that loop, and I’ve learnt to use logic and reason as well as emotion. 

As for “breaking my heart”. Yes. Our friendship ending did hurt me, a lot. Just like everything with you, it is very one-sided. I was reaching out, listening and trying to help Maddy repair relationships with people whom she’d hurt. We both said equally bad things which made the ‘relationship’ toxic, and I would just like to point out that the name, ‘evil Maddy’ is cringe and I’m ashamed I was ever friends with you considering you used that in a callout post. /hj

---------------

Sarcasm aside, ima be real here because I am not afraid to tell my side of the story. So, @ thenameisnoone / Maddy. Here is a long-ass response to the post you made about me. xx

Look, I’m not going to call you out or use Politics_notmything to cancel you because I’m not like that. I’m an actual good person who really tried with Maddy and dis my best to change myself to make her feel comfortable. I left a group chat with all my friends for a week and blamed it on ‘family issues’ because I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I made an entire Birthday PowerPoint for her, which included some of my best and favourite bootlegs. I made a genuine effort, but Maddy didn't really do anything else but tell me to “calm down” or “not throw everything away and give in to anger or despair and calm down until you can think rationally and make a logical decision”. 

And I’m glad I actually saw this because this is a classic Maddy move. She argues with people, builds up a situation then removes/blocks them, so they cant see everything she’s saying about them (i have proof of this from a server im in.) It has happened before, and she manipulated people into believing her side of the story. 

“I am allowed to block people who lie to me about serious topics even though they have trust issues which makes them unable, to tell the truth, if it hurts them. I am allowed to talk to people who blow up on me before hearing my side of things where they would have realised what they thought is wrong even though I dont get back to people until 3am and decide to leave them on delivered/read for days at a time when I am happily talking in other servers. I am allowed to block people who accuse me of shit-talking them with my friends who I introduced them to (and I never do that) when I have only defended them and said friends genuinely were being nice to them even if they have proof. I am allowed to block people. Period.” - Maddy 

And I’m not saying Maddy isn't allowed to block people. It’s a free world. Im just defending myself :) 

Granted, Maddy did defend me and say that this situation shouldn’t change anyone opinions on me, and I can say the same. Just because I had a terrible experience with Maddy, doesn’t mean she is a bad person and I encourage anyone online who loves women’s’ history and WATT to befriend her. 

But being honest, she did also call me a bitch on a Tumblr callout post, so I had to come and write this all down for safekeeping and reblogging purposes. Im not a bitch, and that is why I’m not using my following to cancel her. But anyway,  we both had some shit experiences with each other so you can read this and make up your own mind even though I did back her up with the previous call-out post, sent her my support, apologised and didn’t block her when she was at a bad time in her life or when she needed help. If anyone has a problem with me posting this, please contact me via DM. 

Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said. I’m just tired of your petty shit.

[savnofilter]

okay so im just gonna my tingz and whatever since people can believe what theyd like.

whoop its more drama. 😅

so if you hadnt already seen it, great if you havent great. ahh im literally shaking oops but this is serious so i'll only what i have to say, and she blocked and deleted all my apologies and explanations.

i wasnt going to post anything because i replied and had said my words and left it at, if you dont want to like me thats fine, i'll live.

i one, would like to say that she even removed it so like rip me. uhhh i would make a video really to talk it because im bad at words and me typing it makes it worse ahahah.

essentially it was just a bunch of screenshots of me being mean so yeah that was it. er um wooph this is too much for me, the only account i can properly say was that i can say i was harsh was that christmas thing with someone who i havent spoken with in months and its that i said i hate people who celebrate it mad early. and yeah i can harsh because ive already explained that sometimes im blunt about it and when im in a bad mood i dont care.

on the other accounts let me say which i dont remember cause she had all the screenshots and i deleted all the chats because it was turning my already sour mood, even more sour.

so she said i didnt greet her properly which i even talked to you once before so idek what she was trying to get at there. 😅 ahh i asked who she was because i had been having on and off issues with a writer and that was already in the server. she suddenly added her to the discord after it being open for many months so naturally that added suspicion and i also have a great deal of knowing when something was up so yuh... call my instincts right cause it was in the messages that were sent to me. 😅

ahhh (ignore my many ah's when i get anxious it just happens ahahah) but those were taken out of context and like were set up to make me look bad. and even just in the whole post, the whole reason why they talked to me was to venge for something to bring me down LMAO.

just like before ive cooled down tremendously so im done from my mental breakdown to properly say this:

1) i didnt know it was even a slur. i just thought it meant dumb and it was only yesterday i had found out that it was bad.

now i'll say this again because people like being on this sav hate train to even read my words LMAO, im sorry for the words i said.

literally the person that i used it on doesnt even fucking like me so the fact thatd they were rude to me and then get shocked that im rude. i even said that day i had not been fine, i was not well. and if you got your secret santa friend you could also get screenshots saying that i said at the point in time i did not care what i said to people because i was planning on killing myself so i didnt care what i was going to say because you know id be dead.

2) may i say again, i had suspicions of other party friend talking about me because she even messaged me on many times and even brought up one situation that i took piss poor shit in handling. 😂

and may i mention she (christmas person) left because she didnt speak up about other issues that couldve been talked out with and decided to leave.

not only that i thought we were talking about our opinions on celebrating christmas so stop trying to feed word into me mouth m8.

AND ALSO, YOU KEEP SAYING THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS LIKE THAT WASNT EVEN THE THING. 😂

and also the conversation had lack of communication so everything was jumbled up, and i didnt even know she was actually leaving the server i thought she was going "tata" for a bit and i was going to talk to her, i eventually did but we do not speak anymore.

3) the main reason why she spoke to me was to basically catch me red handed LMAO. and she got what she wanted. 👏🏽i literally had people message me, asking why she was even asking for peoples ages.

one how do you even know i was referencing you?! i... but anyways... again you want to make me out to be a bad person lmao. i have bad moments just like everybody else. but because i like to be nice and uplift people i cant make mistakes? like what flawed logic is that?

how am i supposed to grow if i dont make mistakes and learn from them. it woudve been a whole different story if i used it multiple times and didnt give a fuck. and no, its not every day that im a "dumb fucking cunt" to people.

4) you legit deleted my responses and apologies. 😂 and people are just jumping on this and dont even

know me.

ever talked to me.

not even in the server.

so now the "brought to tumblr" again i was just sharing my damn sadness dude. your call-out post makes no sense. trying to make it sound like im out here trying to ruin peoples days is not even close to the truth... i myself hate making people feel bad about themselves.

im not some sociopath, and youre mad because i was bummed i realized that someone that i thought was amazing doesnt like me??? like youre telling me that you snapping at me everytime we talked im just supposed to take it? i just...

and ive said it on my blog, im not in the best place. youre gonna get me off on my off days. i even said that me even interacting is not even a good idea but i choose to make the conscious decision to even talk to people just makes me feel even worse because someone was mean to me first.

you cant take me being my worst and saying its my fucking whole. you dont care about me wanting to "fIx My WaYs" you just want to fucking embarrass me and have people hate me.

if youre trying to show character, youre doing a terrible job at it.

i tried adding you as a friend to even talk to you but you had even BLOCKED ME on discord. you dont care. at all. stop pretending youre some knight, if all i was even trying to talk it out to you and youre response is "youre mean you suck" like what the fuck...

you and your friends and your followers my "followers" who havent asked for my side just show how much you guys really want to pUrIfY this erotica for anime community,,

and also you were a massive prick to my friend because she was sharing her own thoughts so i dont even know why youre trying to act like youre an angel. unless you can tell me that you have never been wrong, i will just crucify myself on the cross and apologize to jesus for being such a sinner.

the more i type, the more i get spiteful so i will stop myself here. have a wonderful night/day/whenever you see it dude or never see it cause you blocked me lol.

EDIT: also i never even hinted that it was you so it just confirms this was only for malicious purposes... and i now just feel like you made it because you feel like i shouldnt have feelings either.

~

apologies if its all over the place, i wrote this in a state of panic to a slow burn of being mellowing out.

[voracious-pumpkira-starr]

VORE COMMUNITY PSA

False information was spread about me with very little truth. While some is truth, others are either taken from untrustworthy sources or were said by people whom are enemies i made in the past to make me more hated. I dont know if all of you know the post im refering to, i wont link it here but it has been causing me a lot if stress

Now I’m not going to deny some parts of the post because they are factual. But other parts are false. I havent blackmailed people for roleplay, and I dont charge back payments. The charging back of commissioned artwork is only from the artists point of view. And even then its heavily exxagerated. What happened was I spent too much money on porn commissions using a family members credit card on my own paypal, i paid this family member to do this of course bit they didnt know what i was buying. After i spent over $1000 CAD they realized I was spending it on porn and called paypal to charge it back. Paypal charged it back. I tried and tried to get paypal to send the money back but they locked me out of the account and the family member refused to let me send the money to them. Since then I was only able to pay back one artist of many, its not just artists. Paypal took back all payments and I even lost some of my art programs such as Clip studio EX because of this. Ive also lost many mobile apps and more. This caused me a lot of stress and I wasn’t allowed to use a credit card for a long time. Now, You know who. A certain artist who made these claims. Yes I admit I tried to roleplay with them but I will be honest. This is a honest statement from my own mouth. There is many many people in the community who KNOW I’m sumlur and are of age who roleplay with me and I wont name them to keep them same from harassment. Im not innocent but neither are the people like YOU who spread this information. And I will send you this post privately. Yes it is not my place to be in the vore community but because I have it helped with my depression and I learned many things that made me better as a person. I know my mistakes and I understand even when 2021 comes I will be hated in the community or even not let back in at all. But all I’m going to say. Is that yes I was immature and regret a lot of my decisions. But i stopped ban evading and all that long ago. It is now 3 years since this ekas portal drama has started with me, I, because of outdated or false information spread by you and many others have been Doxxed and had my info leaked on 8chan by a user named cloud runner teeny on 12/24/2018. Its been over a year since i was doxxed and I have been struggiling with depression and at multiple times even was suicidal. I nearly killed myself on lean (purple drank). Im not asking for pity because we both know I did aome messed up shit but making a PSA about me and spreading things from your point of view is only half the story. Many people have harassed my social media because of this or even turned me into a laughing stock. So here, if it makes you happy Cham. I’ll make a statement right here right now publically for all to see. If i lose friends for this then whatever it is what it is. It took me a lot of guts and a long time to say this but the stress has gotten to much for me. for the sake of peace I’ll admit to everything Chammy was correct about me ane everything that was false along with some misconceptions about me: so firstly Chammy is right about my age. My birthday is 01/30/2003. I am nearly 17 years old. Chammy is also correct about me asking him for roleplay stuff. However many adults i know who know my age are fine roleplaying with me and I will make this very clear for all of tumblr and the world. Yes I know the underage law and why you think you would be at risk of becoming a sex offender. But hear me out, I’ve actually talked to online lawyers about this and there was never a statement in US Federal law about roleplaying with minors being wrong. The only thing that is bad is if your doing it with malicious intent or send real nudes. As for the age of consent, that is 16 and as far as I know you can legally have sex with anyone within 5 years apart from you as long as its not recorded at that age. So I would assume roleplay would be legal unless its recorded or screenshotted just the same. So yes although it might be risky there is almost a 100% gaurentee your not at risk unless you go bragging about it or the minors parents

Report you. And I don’t have parents, my birth parents abandoned me for a life of crime and my grandparents had custody over me since i was 2 years old. My grandparents know about my vore fetish and although they think its weird they are fine with it to some extent. I can assure you for a fact they won’t report you unless your asking me for literal nudes, which I’d never even give away. Secondly I wanted to bring up the fact I did NOT try to sneak into Cham’s server I was asking if somebody could vouch to let me in so at 18 my friend Andy (WHO KNOWS MY AGE) could vouch for me since he/you closed all invites because of people insulting male predators.

Nextly I want to say this, Chameleonette is not a bad person. They aren’t spreading lies about me on purpose they are only saying what they were told which was spread around by many people who hate me such as aljenserp, AlluringPredation, Reffles, Cloudrunnerteeny, and artists who think i charged back on purpose. Now I also want to bring up the accusations of blackmailing adults who roleplayed with me. This is false, the only adults i ever blackmailed where ones who knew my age and asked for nudes, or were ACTUAL MINORS pretending to be adults which i know for fact.

Now I will admit I exposed some of these friends as minors out of anger and lost friends for this. I regret this so i wont say which ones, But I blackmailed them about exposing their age for some fights in the past.

But I will also admit again I did some stupid shit in the past and I understand the hate I have but its been causing me lots of stress and Harassment on social media. Look cham, if you actually take the time to read this I’m sorry for everything ive done to you and the vore community but I want to say that the adults arent entirely innocent either. I caused these problems by lying about my age, joining ekas, ban evading, manipulating people, and buying art when I shouldnt have. All of it has come back to bite me in the ass. Combined with the stress from real life I couldn’t take things anymore and essentially ruined my life. As of now I dropped out of highschool because the stress was too much and couldn’t work anymore. Now I’m educationless and most likely won’t get a job. For those who are curious in one year and 29 days is when I will be 18. And if any of my friends whom dont know my age read this I want to say I’m sorry for lying. I strongly have issues and am really clingy to people I like so I end up lying to make friends. And i know many people are going to block me for this so in turn I will end up more stressed but its the most mature thing i could think to do. I would love it if nobody blocked me and we just talked like friends and save the vore stuff for when I’m 18, which I do with many of my friends already. As stated before the whole reason i joined ekas in the first place was to join a community i felt like i fit in with after getting depression from losing a friend i really cared about named anatoily

Many times in the past i used anatoily as an excuse for my actions but thats not what im doing. Anatoily if you see this i want to know im sorry for using your name as an excuse for my wrong actions. I originally joined Ekas for that purpose and used that as an excuse, on there i made many friends some of which i have even today. At one point i planned on leaving ekas but then I found somebody who reminded me of anatoily. I had an obsession with them and it led me to well ruin that friendship. Around this time i was exposed underage by Reffles on a minecraft server who had a incorectly dated birth date from a Enjin server about me claiming i was 14 when i was 15 which now i am 16 turning 17 and that link would display 15 turning 16. To explain this I want to say when I made this enjin account I mistyped the age and never bothered fixing it because I rarely used Enjin. I just used it to apply for minecraft admin positions.

I regret many of the things ive done and cant stress this enough that I’m sorry but in all honesty this is the true story of what happened with me and the vore community

In 2017 I joined ekas because my mind didn’t care about the consequences I was upset about anatoily, which isnt an excuse for my actions. I lied about my age and all was fine i was getting away with it. I met the person who reminded me of anatoily in February of 2018 whom helped me grow as an artist. I started working as a artist practicing for when I’m 18. When reffles found me out i was upset and was banned from ekas and the discord Work to Feed. I was upset for many reasons, one even being that i just got the first person ever to commission me and even today was never able to do the art or send it to them making me feel like a thief

So a lot of ban evading and ruined friendships later some problems happened with me and a friend named Aljenserp who like me was a minor. I was watching one of Silent_E’s streams and got banned because Tyrion13 recognized me. I betrayed Aljenserp like an asshole saying he was underage (i dont think he is underage anymore but he was at the time this happened) because he was a staff nobody believed me and i was banned from the stream and lost all trust aljenserp had in me. He became my enemy. Now after this a lot of people started hating me more and more, there was some drama on 8chan about me which i posted on being some idiot as i was younger and didnt know what i was doing.

This caused many people to not even feel any pity for me thinking i was stupid and deserved what i got. This was shortly before the problem happened with paypal. After that i was hated immensely more and many people startee saying some stupid rumors about me

One really dumb one was from the ekas user ExplosiveWaifu who has a Dragon OC named Lydia. Goes by DragonWaifu on discord. In one instance i was talking to Lydia about how one of my friends was a Maoist communist and his beliefs and how i support him because he is my friend. She believed because he had communist beliefs and i supported him that i was a terrorist and ceased all Communication with me for this. Another false rumor about me was spreaded by a friend of Explosivewaifu who i cant name as they are always changing their name. she is a trans woman, me and her used to talk a lot and whenever she got drunk she would well... be really irl lewd with me so i started calling her a pedophille (which is where the blackmail stuff ties in partially though i didnt blackmail her it was somebody else)

Many times this friend while sober would claim that i act to mature and that I couldnt be a minor, thus a rumor spread around that inwas a adult pretending to be a minor to get kicked out of the community for purposfully causing drama to make people think im a believable minor so i could easily prey on minors like a pedophille... honestly this is a really dumb rumor and dunno why it was believed by anybody at all

Next I want to talk about the ID theft accusations. Mettra Tonic gave me a health band from the hospital which in July of 2018 i tried to use as a ID to get me unbanned and it failed, this led to trust issues with Mettra who also spread false information about me which is mostly well known for the accusations of blackmail against her friends who were minors. There was another ID issue with a man named worthylightning and Kobayashi whom I tried to. Let them both help me get unbanned because friendship. It didnt work and i felt bad.

Lastly the only true case of ID theft is the one with reffles. Reffles gave somebody her ID who gave me the ID and I cropped out the age part of her ID and tried to use it. I since regret this action but i wouldnt concider the age part alone to be ID theft.

There was also accusations that I steal artwork which i dont own which is false. All artwork of Pumpkira is owned by me, either drawn by me, won in a raffle, requested, or given to me as a gift.

Moving on later in the year CloudRunnerTeeny doxxed me and made a group on discord called the Sumlur eradication squad where he blackmailed me and threatened to leak my info (which he did on christmas onto 8chan before it was taken down for breaking ToS) me and my friend tried to mislead him do he wouldnt Dox me and dox a fake person but this failed, made things worse infact. After that me and teeny came to a truce to leave eachother alone if i stay away from him and his friends. A promise I Semi-kept to today.

I already explained the whole issue with the art charged back, false rumors, and blackmail.

But I want to say this. Please stop sending information that is outdated or just speculation about me. Hear both sides of the story.

And yes when I turn 18 in 2021 I know I’ll still be hated and I have come to terms and accept that is my punishment for my mistakes. But please stop sending drama my way as I am very tempted to just delete all my social media at this point. Its gotten really stressful and I just cant...

Also Chammy again you aren’t a bad person i dont blame you for my hate as Its deserved. Although some of your claims were wrong or from your point of view, others were true and It is good you made a statement about me. But please tell people not to harass me and just block me. I’m going to make this post Private for a while before making it public. I want you to read this before it goes public on my Tumblr.

Lastly I heard you were feeling sick and hope you get better.

From artist to artist I have been improving my art and stories which like you one thing i hope for when im 18 is to be a successful artist or writer. Im already planning a large scale SFW webcomic as many people know. Though I feel like it is going to have a negative impact because Pumpkira is the protagonist and i gaurentee at least one person from the vore community would expost past me to everyone who reads future me’s work

Anyways thats all.

Update 2020: now 17

Update: 2021 now 18 as of January 30th 2021

[i-wanna-be-cute]

i guess ive got... a lot to say. im sorry.

i dont want to die. im scared of dying so much but theres nothing for me here. if you know me, if you love me, anything. im so sorry im disappointing you. i just need... something. anything. ANYTHING AT ALL TO TELL ME IM WORTH IT. but nothing comes. im not worth it anymore. if anyone could tell me something to make it ok, then id love to hear it. but, im just... im gonna post every vent ive ever done in my discord servers, and a few other places.  yea can i get some help right now?I genuinely feel broken  I feel like a ruined, broken dollkenGod damnitI cant even vent correctlyI hate myself   Nothing makes me happy anymore I was survivngI was livingI was so confident i was gonna grow up happy and healthy and famousI was ruinedI was not made brokeni was ruined by a world who doesnt care full of people who dont try i literally hate my mother so muchi donti dont hate her i hate myselfconversation went as such:i cant focus! take your pill, then. (i start crying) i dont want to! why? it doesnt work and it kills my appetite! whats wrong with that? (still crying, i snatch the pill bottle from her and take one) jesus, are you playing around on discord? is it because you dont have live classes? its still school, wether im watching or not. (even though SHE FUCKING KNOWS I COULDNT FOCUS IN REGULAR SCHOOL EITHER)i can already feel it againi dont carei can already feel apathy in my soulquoting myself buti can feel my soul in my chest, and by god is it heavyi think thats not the problemi care far too mcuhi wish i was justi wish i didnt care I DONT WANT TO PASS ANYMOREI DONT CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO MEIM JUST TIRED OF IT ALLIM DONE i cant describe things anymoreno one is online, and im stuck doing seemingly endless workof course i get breaks but theres no set end to anythingmy appetite is dead but i feel so sick(dont worry- its just cause of my pill)i feel like im getting ignored by my friendsim just so depressedthis is fucking dismali can feel my temper start to come up because my friends are joking and playing like everything is fucking finefucki cant tell if i want to break something or cry  i think i just made my friend madim so awfulthe few people who trusted me and i cant even make them happy guess whos cryingmy dad not constantly taking my tablet because if i cant talk to my friends i get horribly, suicidally depressed is not a form of power that i have over him and he should not try to fucking paint it as one i dont knowif im upset and i raise my voice some because A. i have headphones on and B. im fucking upset THAT DOES NOT MEAN I AM SCREAMING AT HIM, AND HE SHOULD NOT TRY TO PAINT IT AS SUCH and especially he should not try to combine the two, and say that A. oh you're screaming at me? gimme your tablet. OR B. oh you said you wanna do something later? you're abusing your power, gimme your tablet. AND ESPECIALLY NOT C. oh, you did what i wanted, but with an attitude? Gimme your tablet.why cant he grasp that cornering me by the sink when he's literally 6'2 is horrifyingdoes he know how much he scares me when he's mad? im not leaving the fucking house. its hot out and i dont want to fucking go.i know you guys have trusted me to stay alone at home before.maybe not at night, but its the fucking middle of the day.WHY DO YOU INSIST ON BURDENING YOURSELF WITH ME? I am weary. My soul is tired. There are bags under my eyes, I am not getting enough sleep, no, but theres a reason. As if sleeping more could solve the visions of battles I will not fight Of battles lost and won Of battles inside my own head that affect no one. As if sleeping more would fix anything. Do not attempt to sing me a lullaby of a better future Because lullabies do not win wars And warring against yourself is never good So i'll repeat it; I am not tired I am weary I am solemn I am scarred And most of all: I am alive. And i will not die until i win. After that? I belong to eternity. But right now? I stand. I am weary, yes. But that has never stopped me yet.idk where this came from im justi can like feel my soul in my chestand its heavy.

sorry for the huge block of text, and that isnt even all of it, but... im so tired. i dont have the motivation to do any more. if you ever liked me, loved me, knew me... im sorry. im just not worth it anymore. i tried my best, i got as far as i could, but... i just wasnt meant to survive.

[derpyslurpy-da-derp-master]

a lot of people im following are getting really upset about Whiterose and I literally dont know what to do

cause like

I like your usual posts and you as people but as my friends from the Revue Starlight Hell Server can attest, I really don’t like it when people bash things I enjoy and tend to just kinda leave.

so

yeah

Edit: oh dear lord it’s way worse than I thought

The bigger names I follow are all upset about Whiterose

I.. I don’t know what to do. ...I really don’t want to, but do I need to block the WhiteRose tag for a bit...? I’m getting the feeling I do when my friends on discord criticize RWBY where I just want to run and hide because I just cant take this kind of stuff from people that I actually like and respect, cause I want to voice my opinion and defend what I like but also don’t want to start a fight and so I just don’t do anything and try to disappear... 

I love Whiterose, I really don’t want to block the tag, but... I... I don’t really have much of a choice here. ...Let me know when the tag is safe again...

[jadecringecomp]

jade, of course, is still trying to deflect rather than own up to anything at all. im too lazy for screenshots so youre going to have to deal with text for this one. you can see their post here though. and if receipts are needed they are most likely on the callout blog or you can come to me if you cant find them.

“uses their own dead grandma as leverage out of nowhere literally months after the original argument”

jade are you really that braindead. like youre still just proving my previous point. youre still practically shitting on me for it. i gave a reason as to why that night was so traumatic for me because you keep trying to make it seem “like it wasnt that bad” by your own words!

also like uh, jade. you yourself have used your aunt having cancer as a reason to just... excuse every single action youve done. so again, take that and choke.

“abuses their own bf/ex but its fine because he abused her first lolololol!!!”

jade i... honestly have no words. youre still defending a pedophile, and you even admit he abused me. like, yes, i cheated on him. but how does the fact he is a pedophilic abuser not process through your head. why are you so set on defending that. a genuine question.

“flips back and forth on whether they were actually abused or not whenever it benefits her“

theres... nowhere that even says that in the link you posted. are you posting that to still try and imply i lied about the abuse you inflicted upon me or...?

“refriends their own ‘abuser’”

ok well one jade, you still have no actual proof ive befriended broden at all. all you have is a like on a fucking post. really how braindead is it possible to be at this point.

and regarding bailey, i never called her my abuser. you were the one to do that. you said she abused me after i showed you screenshots of what went down between us. and whats worse after i even came to you and showed you the screenshots and you got involved with that mess?? you still wanna try and say what happened was fake. like you wanna call me two-faced, yet youre so quick to change your mind once you realize that person doesnt benefit you anymore. 

also! for someone whos a survivor of abuse, you sure as hell dont realize a common thing between us survivors is literally going back to those who’ve hurt them right?? like you keep bringing this up as if im fucking lying about the whole thing when im not since again, i came to you while we were friends with the proof. i can even post them if need be. and honestly it doesnt even fucking matter anymore ive broken contact with her after shortly realizing my mistake.

“denies other ppls abuse just because they doesnt like them and a few vent discord messages means they knows literally everything abt it“

i can admit to saying i denied your abuse because there is actual proof that you werent abused two years ago, not because i dont like you. do you really just think nobody will believe proof right in front of them jade??? do you think youre some perfect princess who can do no wrong???? like jade the proof is right @deeancie, @estweri, @honeykeis-callout, and even here. you really expect me to just not believe it if i didnt hate you. you honestly need some real fucking help if thats the case jade.

and really like. if you say your bf clams up when you go to him... what else am i supposed to believe. sure i can be wrong, but reading that shit can really make you wonder what is going on between you two. and jade you wanna say that like you yourself dont do that shit. remember all the times you read vague text posts and would go on a tangent as if you knew every little thing about what was going on in my life. yeah kinda what i thought.

“says grooming minors is talking to people One time“

i love how you fail to leave out the fact that these people were minors and that youre practically defending loli. so if youre still talking to these minors and since youre still defending loli, then yes youre grooming minors into thinking loli is ok.

“straight up let a minor into their porn server on discord (they can go as rabid about this as they want but they still straight up showed an actual minor graphic porn but IM a pedophile bc i rb anime sometimes lmfao)”

again its been resolved. like ive acknowledged it was wrong of me to do and ive changed it. and how can you say you just rb anime sometimes when. you literally are reblogging this kind of fuckshit. like do you not remember reblogging that obviously naked child in a collar or what. the difference is i realized my wrong and changed it while youre still rbing actual loli.

“lied about the relationship (the one where they abused each other and she cheated on him with her other abuser???) having elements of pedophilia because they lied about her age”

this is so... ive told you i forgot. the ages. i was literally an age off for the both of us. like what else do you want me to do about this.

“has sketchy as fuck ocs, including one thats physically ten who would force their adult self insert to be naked around them and also drew them being physically beaten“

while the first was true (but i dont have that oc anymore), where in the fuck did i draw them being physically beaten lole??? are you pulling this out of your ass to deflect you yourself rbing beaten children????

and i swear to god if you bring up this comic, im going to scream.

“is a stalker and an abuser. by their own logic“

ok like. a couple of things to this. jade when are you going to get it through your thick skull i didnt give a shit if you were lurking or not, it was the fact you would comment on my every move. which is stalking by the way and incredibly creepy like get a life!

and an abuser “by my own logic”. the link you shared, again, doesnt show that anywhere. also with how badly of a hypocrite you are, thats you. you told me it was abusive to call people delusional. you started doing that once i realized my wrong and stopped. you told me it was abusive. you told me making people relapse was abusive. yet once i relapse you still didnt give a shit and somehow that makes you in the clear (though i still dont give a shit we both literally did that to ourselves the point is youre an abuser too to your own logic). you said trying to gaslight people is abusive (which it is). look at the stacks of proof i have of you gaslighting me. like i could go on but all the proof if here on this blog.

“oh and dont forget they foamed at the mouth that i didnt instantly know when they changed their pronouns but has been proven to have Actually knowingly misgendered me for weeks“

jade the fact you were lurking should make it fucking obvious you should have known my pronouns. and for weeks?? jade i misgendered you in your callout, which i immediately changed once pointed out. will you please stop lying to make yourself look victim and just tell the truth for once in your life.

“also apparently i can call them rae and its not deadnaming because its not their birthname so“

oh my god youre literally fucking braindead it hurts to watch at this point. no rae isnt my deadname. but i do prefer not going my that. the whole point of that was that you tried screaming transphobia because someone called you by a previous name you went by. you fucking dumbass.

“claims to have bpd but doesnt even know what cluster b is holy shit!!!“

what do i even say to this jade?? what does the fact i didnt know what that was at first matter to me having bpd??? also are you just gonna shrug off the fact that you first claimed you got misdiagnosed with autsim, then suddenly you do? you claimed to have bipolar disorder, then later you suddenly decide you have bpd??? kind of sketchy if you ask me!

“tries to send anons under my name but forgot that their friend levi doesnt even have me blocked so why the fuck would i go on anon if i would ‘sign’ it anyway hm“

a....... are you implying i was the one to send those....? is it because you realized once you did so it backfired?? jade for someone who wanted to claim i was the one making up conspiracies, you sure make up a lot of them.

in conclusion: jade you still are just deflecting! you still havent defended any of the shit me or my friends have called you out for! the fact you still havent admitted to them or so much as even defended the claims sure does speak a lot! stop deflecting and lying and just fucking come out about it!

[marvelbuilt]

hi okay so i’m going to make this post because i dont have too many rp friends that i can even talk to about this. 

so im like really upset right now because two of my best rp friends havent like spoken to me in months. so basically we’d all been friends for a very long time via MANY different fandoms. we had our own discord gc and servers and stuff and talked nearly every day. they were really there for me when my ex dumped me unexpectedly and i was an utter mess and they were there for me as i got better. i’ve also been there for them for insecurities, among other things. we were all really good friends. 

so two of us watch drag race, nothing new there, and while i assumed the other was watching live, with me, i sent in a group chat “MONET WAS ROBBED” to which she was understandably upset that i spoiled that singular episode on who went home for her. but the way she went about it really put me off. that coupled with my worry that i was just annoying them both at this point, had me overreacting and leaving the gc. i thought things would just cool down; whatever. well no one ever messaged me, not that i expected them to, so i eventually messaged them and apologized and explained why i felt insecure about things and that i loved them a lot like literally sisters to my gay ass. then we talked about like one thing? and then they completely stopped responding to my messages.

that was fine; i just figured they had left the rpc, as all their blogs went onto hiatus and maybe they’d abandoned their discords as well, idk. so then we still have each other on snapchat and insta/twitter. she tweets something about waiting for incredibles 2, i tweet back something just semi-sarcastic with edna mode handing out tissues. it was a joke but apparently we weren’t there yet lmao. so never got a response. like a month or two passes and i realize that our snap chat group is now empty (we like used it very rarely), meaning both of them had left. mind you; i’m only talking about one of them currently.

that was like a week or two ago and i realized; wow maybe they’re like done with rp for good and don’t want anything to do with me. i dont reminders of friends who aren’t coming back so i removed them from my discord (they hadn’t responded in months anyway) and unfollowed via twitter and like removed them from snapchat. it’s not that deep, especially for people who didn’t seem to want to talk anymore.

anyways; after the yj trailer was released during comic con last week, i decided to make dcbuilt finally and really buckle down. i started following people and found a blog that looked remarkably similar to that one friend. i followed and liked posts, until i finally realized that it was in fact her. i then realized she was never going to follow back and again tried to make amends, explaining why i removed them from things, because i figured they weren’t coming back / didn’t want to talk anymore; whatever. i wasn’t sure how to contact her, so i resorted to an ask on our blogs yesterdays. i said i didn’t want to go back into yj without having her to talk about it with among wanting to be friends again.

this morning i woke up, half-expecting to not hear back, only to see i’m no longer following the blog, meaning she softblocked me. i couldn’t even get an answer to whether or not we could be friends again; just a softblock so she doesn’t have to deal with me.

i literally lost TWO of my best friends because i spoiled an episode of drag race and put a gif of edna mode handing tissues on twitter. like, they are some of the sweetest girls i have ever met and i adore them dearly, still to this day. the issues i caused were mistakes; no doubt. but i never thought of them as issues that would result in a softblock. i dont even know what my other friend thinks of me?? like i can only just imagine she’s going along with her.

anyway, the yj fandom is small right now and i’m worried that things are going to be awkward and im like just kinda floored that all of this has happened. like i never meant to harm in anyway. i dont even know why she’s upset with me. i spoiled an episode of who went home on drag race, apologized and was forgiven. then, thinking we’re good, i sent a sarcastic tweet of edna mode handing tissues for waiting to see incredibles 2 and never got anything in return. then i was never responded to again; figured they were just done with rpc and didn’t want to talk anymore, so i removed them from things. then i find out that’s not the case and attempt to explain my, if you ask me, minuscule actions, and she won’t even talk to me and just softblocks me instead.

i cant stand to have people mad at me; but especially people i was so close to for so long and the fact that i don’t even know the reason why. like is it still the drag race thing? the edna gif? i never blocked them or insulted them or talked bad about them? i literally adore and love them. like i just can’t believe i’m losing some of my best friends over something that i don’t even know. like is it because i removed them? because they left the snap group first; i didn’t do that.

ugh i know no one is going to read this full thing through but im just like??? what is going on? im literally shaking i cant stand not knowing

[cwombw]

isn’t life great?

below cut.

void-Yesterday at 11:25 PM

wtf do you even have to say to me

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:26 PM

I just, if youre this upset with riley for doing then we need to talk about this so you understand

void-Yesterday at 11:27 PM

im ALLOWED to be hurt that he thinks i can NEVER be trusted AGAIN for no apparent reasonif you cant recognize that then WOW

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:27 PM

He doesn't think thatHe blocked people he's know for years

void-Yesterday at 11:27 PM

then WHY the MCFUCK did he block me and why are you saying i should just shut up about it and get over iti cared about him damnit i say him as my own fucking childyoure not who i thought you were lmfao

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:28 PM

He's just really scared right now, youre allowed to be upset but try to underastand

void-Yesterday at 11:28 PM

im done tbh?i blocked him back.its what he wants anyway

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:29 PM

if you feel that's what you want. he's just scared and hiding from everything

void-Yesterday at 11:29 PM

and yet hes still in dandys friendchat.

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:30 PM

He left active chats right off the bat and then got scred people would hate him and stoped

void-Yesterday at 11:30 PM

whatever then.too bad star came home im this close to self harmingim  going to talk to her and hope shecan calm me down from a meltdown

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:31 PM

I just, he's literally dying rn, please try to understandAnd please stay safe

void-Yesterday at 11:31 PM

you also need to understand that others are having similar reactions due to his actions just now

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:33 PM

youre having a heart problem? you were so upset you had a heart attack last night? I'm sorry but I dont think this is comperable

void-Yesterday at 11:33 PM

i meant the goddamn breakdown thing

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:34 PM

I'm sorry i misunderstoodHe jsut doesnt want anyone to see him die

void-Yesterday at 11:39 PM

i f he wants to push everybody away and ruin every good friendship he had and also ruin the dnd kin thing, fine. im not going to open my arms to him anymore.i dont hate him.but the wanting nothing to do eith each other thing is mutual now.

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:40 PM

i hope you understand that i stand with him on this. he just doesnt want to hurt people if he actually dies

void-Yesterday at 11:41 PM

if he actually diesso if he doesnt, what. hes gonna be like "heyyy.. fingerguns sorry that i ruined all my friendships, amde people hate me, and made people panic" i dont play ehadgames like that and i refuse to do that with him.plus, idk. iunno. maybe it should be our choice if we want to stick with him even if hes on his death bed?by doing this its hurting more than watching hiom die

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:43 PM

He's in the hospital and they said things arent looking good. he's terrifiyed and I think you should remember hes only 16. he's just scared as any dying kid would be

void-Yesterday at 11:44 PM

.. so wait. let me get this straight . he decided to. block. every single one of his online friends, out of fear of hurting them. but he didnt try to distance himself from his irl ones, even though it should be thje same fear that drove him to block everybody online in the first place.iwhatnothis boils down to paranoia and distrustwhy exactly, does he  let his irl friends care for him but wont let his online ones do the same

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:45 PM

It;s easier to block people you don't know in personI just, I cant do this. hes a scared kin and that's all there is to it

void-Yesterday at 11:46 PM

okim dropping itfeel free to block mefigure you want nothing to do with me anymore eitherJune 8, 2018

ArchaicArcade-Today at 12:01 AM

no it's just I need a bit

ArchaicArcade-Today at 8:34 AM

I'm sorry to say this but I've know Riley way longer and well, I choose him over you. I feel terrible but I need to side with my best friend here

void-Today at 11:56 AM

there shouldnt even be a side but okay. i had a feeling y'all weren't telling the truth. because i forgot last night but now i remember that he certainly did not block everybody he was friends with online and the chat in gov kin is evident as such, since people there could still message him.

you all have fun lying now. but i want you both to remember that i would have gone above and beyond for the both of you because i trusted you, cared about you, and loved you.thanks for ripping away a part of my life.

--

s/o-Today at 7:48 AM

Fuck meRiley is the rat talking to lou

s/o-Today at 11:01 AM

Let me know if you are okay.

void-Today at 11:59 AM

.....wow.

s/o-Today at 11:59 AM

He shared our entire dm

s/o-Today at 12:00 PM

God me too

void-Today at 12:01 PM

you know i have a feeling all their friends were in on it and he didnt even have a heart attack last night

--

s/o- you know I never had a grudge against you, and I wasn't in a good place either when you were in my life. please leave me out of your mouth and i'll continue leaving you out of mine. Don't dis GAK either, it's a quiet kin family. -Lex's "live in" partner.

s/o- also I'm carful about the ages of the people I talk too, and that "flirting with a minor thing" not sure who that was at all? I'm sure it had something to do with the nonsense in KK. Anyway last message I will send unless you choose to respond. Yesterday at 4:53 AM

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches the minor was jeremie diioscuri and the offending behavior was via discord in a mutuals server that he had created Yesterday at 2:26 PM s/o- Now i know what you are talking about. I was mislead about his age. But I also never flirted with him. I sent him an NSFW meme once and his little friends started making wild accusations of me. And I do feel bad for offending him, but I didn't know he was a minor.

s/o- That is also how I personally got kicked from KK. I kicked Alex from KK the previous night because it was behaving destructively Today at 7:44 AM

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches thats not an accusation thats straight up telling the truth

s/o- Talking about trans stuff? I was literally complaing about tucking. I also really feel stabbed in the back right now. You think you know someone

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches you... knew who? look idk what you deem appropriate to talk to minors about but maybe it differs for us

s/o- i don't think a trans vent between two trans people is inappropriate if he was squicked by that he could've told me lol. not go sharing a private convo with you. (and i'm not blaming you for that)

agenderdad420/mystery peaches i will say that there is often an inherent power dynamic between older and younger members that maybe made him more uncomfortable

s/o- you know i can take the blame if I fucked up. I hope you know that I've changed a ton since KK. and since I your drama with Lex started. All I want is to be a good person and contribute something to my fellow kinnies.\

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches honestly i havent really kept up w either you or alex since that point, but i dont doubt you can take accountability for your actions.

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches i just hope that there is change that goes along w acknowledgement and perhaps there has been

s/o- I don't speak for lex. But i just want peace Today at 9:21 AM

agenderdad420 fair

--

s/o - Today at 7:49 AM Apparently riley is the one talking to the person who made my callout Do you have a problem with me arcade? 

ArchaicArcade - Today at 8:07 AM no 

s/o - Today at 8:16 AM I guess i squicked him with something i said 

ArchaicArcade - Today at 8:17 AM i guess 

s/o - Today at 8:19 AM My brain: hes sick because of you 

s/o - Today at 12:02 PM I know you have your reasons  for what you guys are doing. But I hope Riley knows how deep he cut me. I would've given you both the moon.

--

not only have these people caused me to have a severe anxiety attack, they caused my partner the same, as well as many others who weren’t even a part of this.

they have caused me to feel suicidal and paranoid, to want to self harm

as for agenderdad420/mysterypeaches, they have sent me anon hate before, accused me of being racist for my neopronouns (all while saying they’re not against neopronouns, lol), and blew up at me for dropping them after they told me they didn’t like that i was trying to set boundaries for my borderline behaviors with them, and that i was confiding in them everything that was going on with me at the time (which was heavily toxic and depressing towards me) they have used language against me that is ableist and abuse apologetic in nature and their claims otherwise are blatant lies.

i had previously published the majority of the anon hate before deleting it from my blog after a while due to discomfort of having drama on my blog.

they have taken to stalking me to find out more past drama about me, as well as taking false anecdotes from others who claim my s/o has been inappropriate with minors to the point of grooming them, which is 1000000000000000% untrue and taken greatly out of context and skewed into something that never happened.

talking about trans issues isn’t grooming, sending a nsfw meme to a person who my s/o believed to be an adult isn’t grooming.

these people are pure evil and have been planning this for a long time from what i’ve gathered.

they are dangerous and unpleasant and will apparently stop at nothing to obtain their goal, whatever it actually is. as evident as one of them faked a heart attack and may have faked an entire condition.

update 7/17/2018

after speaking to rileys sister who he abused for a good part of their life, as well as ruined it and made their mom send them to live with their aunt, i’ve since learned that this is serial abusive behavior and he has also physically beat his younger siblings, is a pathological liar, and everything i’ve thus learned about him 100% fits his m/o.

he can try all he wants to pretend that he got better and has improved but all i see if that he got better methods.

faking a heart attack in order to call my gf a pedophile for talking about trans issues is fucking despicable.

another thing i’ve discovered is that he did in fact assault the person who he says assaulted him 

and the fact he freaked out over a poorly written callout like that, no offense to the victim is kinda funny and really telling. if he was innocent then why bother mentioning anything? i dont think that many people saw it.

i’ve also learned that archaicarcade, aka julien/julian (and plenty of other past names) also has a past of fucking people over very quickly into friendships and relationships and changing their name and other information in order to hide their past.

in fact.. riley hangs out with a lot of weird people, including somebody who was brainwashed by their older brother to be transphobic, and julien, whos relationship with the minors he surrounds himself with is suspect at best.

he also keeps company with a jehovah’s witness, which i shouldn’t have to explain how problematic that is.

my current thoughts about this is that riley while not innocent at all may be being groomed by julien is who also grooming others with help from his other adult buddies they all hang with. i have no sympathy for riley though after what occurred, whatsoever.

just 10-20 minutes ago somebody on a sockpuppet from wilson, north carolina sent me hate after checking out this callout post for riley, this is the screenshot i took

i’ve since blocked and reported the sockpuppet, even if this doesnt belong to riley, its clearly from one of his brainwashed supporters. amazing that a month later they still want to start shit. but this? this is pathetic.

look riley and co. i, my gf, my bf, my other bf, and all my friends know the truth. you’re fucking liars and fakes and abusive and groom people. do the universe a favor and go to long term therapy or maybe just never go online ever again with any device, anytime, anywhere, ever. and in fact hole yoruself up in your homes and never speak to anybody ever again because you clearly can’t help yourselves from finding new targets to fuck with.

emotional terrorism at its finest.