#i dunno this is a tangent i'm just being emotional about My People

[uncanny-tranny]

I'm aware many people (including myself) are uncomfortable with this framing, but I can't help but love the "sometimes, a little girl grows up to be a man, and sometimes, a little boy grows up to be a woman"

How eloquent, how beautiful is it to describe the growing-up of a trans youth? Something about it feels soft and so unabashedly human.

[catierambles]

So there's a post going around about people who don't want kids and I didn't want to add this to it because a) it's long enough and b) its enough of tangent to where it didn't really fit.

I don't want kids, and I have a very good reason for not wanting kids. I mean, any reason you have including "I just don't wanna" is valid, but mine hits a little closer to home.

Mental illness runs in my family. Depression and anxiety. I take (1...2...) 3 medications for it and it's being managed, but it's still there and I still have really bad days. My mom takes medications for it and sees a therapist. I guaran-damn-tee you my grandmother had it, and her mom, and her mom, and her mom, all the way back to, I dunno, the one that got burned at the stake for being a witch.

It's not a 100% chance, nothing in life is, but there an highly more than likely chance that any child I have will not have functioning neurotransmitters. Knowing that, and knowing everything that I feel and go through because of my illness, why would I have kids?

"You're stigmatizing mental illness! It's nothing to be ashamed of!" Um fuck you, I'm not stigmatizing it, and it's nothing to be ashamed of? It's not a badge of honor it's an illness.

"Well, it can be treated by meds so....." Yes, treated, managed, but not cured.

Think of it this way. You have a chronic type of cancer. It's not fatal, although in certain cases it can be if not properly treated, and you got it from one side of your family. Your mom has it, your grandmother had it, so on and so forth. You are in pain, everyday. Some days are better than others, and some days the pain is so great you can't get out bed, you can't function. You're on medication for it, but you will be on that medication for the rest of your life. This type of cancer cannot be cured. It's something you have to live with. If you have a child, it will be more than likely (again not 100% because nothing is) be passed down to them. They will develop this type of cancer between the ages of 5 and 18, and they will be on medication and in pain for the rest of their life. Would you still have a child? Knowing this?

If you said yes, you're selfish, plain and simple. You're thinking about yourself and not the quality of life of the person you will be bringing into this world. You claim that you will love them, but then you still made the decision to bring them into this world knowing first hand the kind of pain they will be in for the rest of their life. Only, breaking away from my example, it's not a physical pain, it is a mental and emotional pain.

If you said no, you have seen my point.

Me deciding not to have children is not selfish, it is selfless. I will not subject a child of mine, however hypothetical, to the illnesses I have. I will not subject them to a life of pain, and pills, and doctors. I won't do it. I refuse.

Again, any reason you have for not having children is valid. This is just mine.

[cutekittenlady]

hrng thinking about those silly soulmate au thingies with the markings and then thinking about how fucky the time-space stuff in pla is and how if ingo got baja blasted to the past and met his soulmate there his lil soul mark would probs just be blacked out cause they died years before he was born and his soulmate just wouldn’t have one cause he hasn’t been born yet and the concept of this is making me giggle more than it probably should 😂

Tbh I've always thought soulmate aus tend to be a tad limited? I mean, maybe I'm biased, but the lack of soulmate aus that delve into the potentially platonic nature of soulmates and how this could reflect in a wide variety of relationships and dynamics is kinda disappointing?

Like, reincarnating isn't limited to humans. It includes animals, plant life, I've read some stuff that suggests its possible to reincarnate into inorganic material like a rock formation or something (not sure how accurate those particularly sources were though).

I mean, what if your "soulmate" is an animal or a tree? How does that manifest? What if a parents soulmate is their child?

Sadly I dunno if this could ever possibly be delved into since the whole "soulmate" thing is so dominated by explicitly romantic and even sexual overtones in popular culture.

To that end I've kinda dislike the concept of soulmate "marks"? I mean, what appeal there is to the concept of destined soulmates feels kinda redundant when you toss on a conveniently magic mark or "sign" that you've met you're soulmate rather than having to explore you're emotions, the significance of the other person to your life, etc to realize the same conclusion.

Sorry, I know I completely derailed your ask to go off on this tangent, but I mostly wanted to explain my view so you may better understand my explanation for how I'd handle a concept like this.

I think the concept of people from different time periods who are destined to meet and be significant to one another is a fascinating one. Especially since it'd imply that Ingo ending up in Hisui wasn't just some fluke but something that was destined to appen. With or without Volo's interference.

How Ingo and this other person would handle this realization and how they might intend to move forward would depend entirely on who the second character might be.

Actually would the clans of Hisui have a concept of soulmates as well? The Sinnoh games sorta share the "equal but oppostite" theming present in the Unova games and many others. Would that relate to soulmates?

Plus with this being set in the Pokemon universe, is it possible for Pokemon to have soulmates? Could a pokemon and human be each others soulmates? What about legendaries? Would it apply to them?

How far does Time and Space actually stretch before messing with destiny, assuming its present in the universe? If it IS present in the pokemon universe, how powerful is destiny? Can it be altered? To that end, are the time and universal disruptions caused by Volo in legends arceus, Cyrus in diamond, pearl, and platinum, and Professor Sada/Turo in Scarlet and Violet DESTINED to happen and therefore part of the greater "design" of the pokemon universe or have these actions altered whole destinies?

Sorry Anon, I know you likely didn't want to see me get bogged down in the nitty gritty specifics of how something like this would actually work thematically and literally in story, but I can't really help it.

[danpuff-ao3]

Hi!! 🎈💋🤲 For the ask game!

Lety!! Thanks for the asks!

[answers under the cut cuz wow is this a long one...sorry 🙈]

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

Oh gosh, what a good question! Not one I know how to answer, I'm afraid. This is one of those things I'm always interested to hear what others have to say; what do they think my style is? Others probably see it clearer than I do, mired in my own mind as I am. And as hazy as it is, plagued as I am by a hypercritical and perfectionistic nature.

Perhaps it shifts a bit. Generally I try to stay in one POV and mold the telling around that character's voice and nature, which will inevitably have some impact on style. Though perhaps the core of it remains the same, driven as I am by my own goals. My aim is always to be true to the characters themselves, in whatever scenario I've conjured for them. The aim is always to be a bit ruthless, in ways that are both cathartic and indulgent for me. It's always character and emotion. And I always want to make people feel something; maybe to make them think.

Everything is very intentional, though perhaps not in a very conscious or logical way. Word choice...god how I agonize over word choice. Punctuation, too. Em-dashes and ellipses and semicolons! They all convey something a bit different. They affect the rhythm in their own way. Do I have choppy sentences, or do I connect them with a semicolon? To I carry through with endless em-dashes? What details to slip in, to color the world and flesh it out, without overburdening the story? What facts are important to keep, and which can be carved out? What is necessary to tell this story? What do I sacrifice for the greater good? What do I keep, like the greedy goblin I am?

But rarely is it "the curtains are blue because blue is sad and Harry closes the sad blue curtains so he can suffocate in his own sadness." And it's certainly never "I placed a semicolon there because it was the most correct way to structure that sentence." Pfffff. I'm all about the vibe, baby. Blue curtains set the scene the way I needed. The semicolon gave a burst of emotion that a comma couldn't quite cut.

...but then I've also had to last minute reorganize scenes because it occurred to me that it was very important to know when the full moon in April of 2001 happened. Is this story about werewolves? No. Is the full moon involved in an important plot point? Also no. But it does feel very life or death in my brain, so here we are.

So perhaps my style is best described as "weird obsessive lady tinkering with words under a thin veneer colored by her POV character", idk.

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

Yes, yes!!!! Absolutely! If only to ease my mind, since I feel like a lunatic and an annoyance and hearing back from them generally lets me know "hey I haven't scared this person off!" But also it's just generally nice to hear from people, and to connect with creators I admire! A big joy of fandom is the community of it so I dunno...it's just friendly and fun and makes me smile!

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

A headache. Sorry, I recently finished a rough draft that actually was a headache, but I think the spirit of the question is more...why do I write? What am I benefiting from it? Besides a headache.

Well! I am a lady with a very vivid imagination. And a lot of feelings.

So firstly, language is made for communication. And I was going to go off on this whole tangent in the first question. How...okay, maybe I don't always choose the most technically, literally correct way of doing things, but art is not much about being technical and correct. And neither is communication, really. You think of the pedants out there who gripe and complain about slang, or words that shift meaning (as if words aren't all made up, and as if words don't historically change meaning as times change and societies change, but I digress...) and they miss the point that this is communication. Language wasn't built for you to make a 100 on your English paper. It's for us to connect.

So...writing as communication. Conversation, and stories. How much we learn about others and the world. And how much we learn about ourselves.

So...communication and connection, in some ways. Even stories that aren't shared, it's much like writing in a journal. It's still new life breathed into the chaos of my mind. And even if it isn't meant to be shared, doesn't mean it never will be. And even if no one else ever does read it, it's much like talking to oneself.

I spend so much time in my own head, mulling over a thousand and one thoughts. My brain never shuts up, okay? So while daydreaming and contemplation is the inward function of those thoughts and feelings, speaking and writing is the outward motion of them, even if it's only putting them to word, putting them to shape, in an empty room. And that outward motion can shed new light on them, or cast them in a new shape. Lines you'd not noticed before, a different shade of blue there. It's a new and different way to experience what I'm thinking and feeling, helps me process them better, helps me come to terms with my own mind.

So even at its most personal and private, still the idea of putting it in a new place and exploring it in different ways.

But then, when you share it, when you let others read it, it's communication in the more proper way you think of it. Connecting with others. Sharing with others. And knowing that all of the benefit I get from seeing the world through another's' perspective, I give back by sharing my own. And the connections made to others through them!

Stories have been such a huge part of my life for my entire life. My mom would sing me songs and read me stories every night. And the moment I learned to read, I never stopped. There is so much to learn from and take from stories. The stories I've read have helped shape who I am. And my writing is such a similar thing. It's part of me. A way of sharing all of the color and noise and movement in my soul. A way of sharing every twisty thought, every sharp feeling. It is so much a part of me, even if not in very literal, easily-definable ways.

It can be a means of catharsis. Of purging the poison, or riding out a fever. It's a safe way of interacting with things too complicated or too dangerous to face head on.

Writing is empathy. It is sitting and looking through another's eyes. Not a real person, maybe, but an other. A way to consider other people, and how they think and feel, and how to connect with them.

Writing is an adventure! All sorts of journeys I might never take in real life. A way of considering potential and opportunity. Writing is playing. It's a game. It's toying with scenarios and worlds and words. It's fun, and thrilling! But it can also be daunting, and challenging.

It can be easy. It can be release. It can be joyous and exciting. It can be terrible and awful and difficult. Not always good things, but it's just...who I am, I guess. It gives me what I want, sometimes, but mostly what I need. It's good for me, mind and heart and soul, however rough the ride is.

Most people who know me know I love astrology, so I have to end with a nod towards that. 😂 My moon (emotion, subconscious) is in Leo. Leo, which is light and cheery and magnetic. It's my need to be seen and to connect. Leo is about creation. And adulation, I'm not gonna lie. 🤣 But it's mostly...just having a lot of energy and an overactive imagination and a whole heck of a lot of passion. Leo is generous and big and loud. It's just a need deep inside to create and share.

And maybe the biggest thing of all is that: the act of creation. Feeling productive and accomplished and proud. To have given form and life to something outside of myself, and the desire to see it grow and thrive.

Wow this was a lot of blabbering, oops. 🙊

Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks

[bringerofdeathandtheapocolypse]

I went on a tiny tangent that I figured deserved its own post so eh.

Team Natsu is probably one of my least favourite of the teams. I don't hate them but they aren't as interesting now as they used to be.

I enjoyed watching them when they had character arcs that I cared about. You know, Gray's unresolved trauma with Ur, Erza learning to be open with those around her, Lucy learning to stand up to her father. Those I enjoyed because they were good character arcs that actually got me feeling emotional.

Now, eh. Its kinda dropped off. Like Natsu has one of the most interesting concepts possible, He's a demon from the X300s who probably remembers dying to fire and is the younger brother of Zeref. Like that's such a cool concept. But nothing is done with it. Like yeah his relation to Zeref is brought up once or twice (which him using it against Alderon was definitely a smart move. Like I've said, he is smart but in his own way) but we never really address the whole, he's a demon thing again. Yeah Lucy rewrote his book but that doesn't magically make him human. And what exactly happened to the book? Is it tucked away in the guild library? His house? Dunno. Never mentioned.

My main issue with Gray is that he kinda just stopped with the creativity of his spells. Like maker mages can make whatever they imagine based around what they can do. (Lyon could make any animal, Gray any object and Rufus can combine an infinate amount of spells) Yet he sticks to the same 5 spells with some Devil slayer magic thrown in on occasion(which why is it canonically called Devil slaying magic when it slays demons. Why not just call it demon slayer magic?) Also I will say this over and over, I don't hate Juvia but I can't help but see Gray now liking her as him just being worn down. Like he was on and off constantly and its just.... Kinda uncomfortable.

I think I really dropped of the Erza bandwagon during the Alveraz arc after she destroyed an asteroid with only one arm that wasn't broken. Like that's one of the most op things ever and then her power level seems to have dropped slightly in 100 years. I know she's always been strong and such but that was a bit much for me (Alveraz was a pretty hit or miss arc anyway. Its not as focused as it probably should be and is full of too many fakeouts to keep the stakes high enough throughout. The good arcs are the ones where the stakes don't get absolutely hammered into the dirt with a metal stick. You know like almost all the arcs before it. All of them had some form of stakes that kept me on the edge but Alveraz ruined the stakes when anyone who was supposed to die didn't. Gajeel, Juvia, Makarov and Natsu all had last minute ass pulls to keep them alive or bring them back. (Natsu kinda makes sense since his life essence is the book Lucy rewrote and Gajeel I can give a slight leeway since he wasn't physically harmed and while Irene's spell was convient, it wasn't to do with Gajeel but Acnologia so I can forgive that. Juvia and Makarov rocked the boat though and that fake out with Anna and Ichiya was pretty cheap along. Lucy was never actually dead so that one doesn't count and Carla came close but she was suspended in time so I can believe that she'd live too)

With Lucy I'm half and half. I don't hate her (in fact I think she is pretty unfairly 'teased' a lot (Happy's weight comments come to mind when he's carried people who must weigh more than Lucy. He's carried Gajeel for one who I'm 100% confident is heavier than Lucy considering he is taller, more muscular and has a lot of hair. All things that would contribute to him weighing more than Lucy does. So really the comments are just not warranted or needed and its one of the running jokes I just can't get behind now like I did when I was younger) although 'teasing' seems to be common place for certain members of the guild considering Gajeel gets his own fair share of hurtful comments thrown his way. They aren't of the same nature, Lucy's mainly focus on her personality and appearance while Gajeel's are more focused on either his strength or his likes but still, both ways are mean) but like I don't have as much intrigue in her as other characters. Like she has a bit more to her than some other celestial mages (Sorry Yukino but the only time you are entertaining is in the twin dragons manga and anime only people will def not have read it. Make the dragon slayer side manga's into ovas or something you cowards) But like, I just don't get that excited overall with her.

Maybe its kind of telling that most of my favs are characters we rarely see. Like The sabers, the thunder legion, crime sorciere don't get as much focus after their original introductions. Like I'd love to see Gray interact with Bickslow or Freed at some point or Erza with Ever(even if it is petty fights, its fun to see) or even show Laxus interacting with his own team more often. That's what I enjoy most, the interactions so it kinda bums when we mainly stick to interactions with the main group. Its why I like the second split up in KOTSH because it actually has the characters work with someone else. (Shame we didn't get to see much of team ups like Freed and Gray) I liked seeing Erza being petty with Ever, Bickslow trying to protect Wendy only for her to insist that she protect him (the whole cow thing was funny) Gajeel and Juvia having drifted apart after bonding with others. It was fun and I wish to see more of it.

[ameliterature]

Neil and Todd Jealousy POV (Yes, there's more)

Charlie POV | Cameron POV

Neil was an only child and this obviously came with minor character flaws. Not only was he given all of the attention by his parent (even if it was the bad kind) Neil never really had to share anything.

Not that he didn't want to share. He just never had many opportunities to, with the lack of siblings and all. The closest he had to a sibling was Charlie. Unlike Neil, Charlie would share everything with him because he had so much to give. Was it the fact that Charlie's family was rich and that he has at least 3 of each item? Maybe, but Charlie was sure to share what he had with his best friend.

Another thing Neil "the Welton Golden boy" Perry had as a flaw was that he simultaneously wore his heart on his sleeve and yet always tried to hide his feelings. Case in point: when Charlie made a move on Todd.

Now, it's only been roughly 2 semesters since they've known Todd Anderson. Neil had the gracious chance to be his roommate, so in some way, it was like having another best friend aside from Charlie. But what he felt for Todd was vastly different from his friendship with Charlie. Something about the way Todd smiled at him, something about the way he makes sarcastic remarks, something about the way they shared glances between each other every now and then.

Neil was completely enthralled by Todd. Some might say to the point of being possessive. Neil would say protective because Todd was the kind of person who needed to be kept safe. Todd wasn't good at standing up for himself, he wasn't good at speaking the same way he wrote poems. Neil took it upon himself to be the one to make Todd feel the included. He had to be included, he had to be where Neil was.

Thankfully the whole Dead Poet Society thing worked out well, Neil was surprised how well Todd was integrated into the group. They even spent Christmas break as a group with Todd. Things were going great between him and Todd, Neil couldn't ask for more than to share his experiences with Todd.

But one night, a regular ole Study group session, something caught Neil's eyes. Todd was helping Knox out with some love poem, obviously meant for Chris, and he could hear the contents of the poem.

"Hymns from above casted when you're near

Heaven's light shine atop a golden-haired angel

My heart's full of whims and vivid dreams

but in your presence they're obligations I hold close

Be mine and I'll keep your heart guarded

Because mine is with yours, unthwarted."

Neil hears Todd recite their draft poem, hearing it as if it were meant for him to hear. His own golden-haired angel was biting the end of his pencil as Knox was scribbling the rest of the poem. Neil catches himself staring just before Todd looks up at him so he brings his attention back to the trigonometry problem he was answering with Cameron.

He couldn't concentrate on sine, cosine, and tangents at the moment, not when Todd's hand is in his peripheral view; all perfect with it's blemishes and tapping to an imaginary beat. Every so often, he'd steal a glance at Todd's eyes, darting back and forth from his paper to Knox's. He'd be jealous of any pupil Todd would eventually have if he became an English teacher. To be consulted with his sweet voice, to be seated by him as he explains anything, to be taught how to express feelings he wasn't sure how to jot down.

Oh have Todd's untampered attention.

"Hey Todd," Charlie's voice resonates across their small table. Neil accidentally shot his eyes to his friend's direction without skipping a beat. "Mind helping me out with a poem too?"

Since when did Charlie ever ask for help from Todd? Not that he wasn't allowed to or anything, Todd was the right person for this task but-- Something about it wasn't sitting right with Neil.

What wasn't a surprise was Todd's hesitant acceptance. He watched as Todd moved over to Charlie's right hand side and Neil felt his back become warm. It wasn't just his back, his guts turned into an unrested sea, and his eyebrows twitched, trying to avoid a scowl.

"What do you wanna write about?"

"I wanna write about Love." Neil saw Charlie lean forward to look Todd deep into his eyes; for a moment, he thought he saw Todd blush. Neil didn't like Todd showing that expression to someone else, or at least someone like Charlie.

"S-So... We'll use cosine to get X--" Cameron muttered, snapping Neil back to his assignment. He looked at the blurred numbers and symbols, trying to remember what the other problem was.

"Right, cosine-"

Just before dinner, Neil catches up with Todd to walk with him to the dining hall.

"So," Neil started, not exactly sure where to lead the conversation to. "I guess it's spaghetti and meatballs again, huh?"

Todd pushed out a chuckle in response. "Yeah, I guess it is."

Neil had Todd to himself for a tiny moment, for a stupid one-liner too, but it felt like he was in Cloud nine. Todd's calm expression was all he could ask for, paired with his blue eyes looking back at him.

When they reached their table, they assumed their usual spots, Neil being on the left side of the table and Todd on the other. However, Charlie decided to change up the seating arrangement and sat beside Todd instead of him.

There's that funny feeling again. Neil's stomach was nothing but a pit that resembled a deep well without a bucket, nothing to retrieve and remove the sludge that was forming in it. He hated how Todd was so responsive to Charlie's words, how Charlie was so capable of making Todd blush, he hated the sight of Todd rubbing elbows with Charlie as they ate. Neil wasn't sure why he was feeling this way, why he even thought something innocent between Charlie and Todd could make him so agitated. It could all be his imagination.

When Todd left for the bathroom, Neil decided to interrogate his best friend.

"Hey Charlie, why the sudden change of seating arrangement? Thought I was your cute best friend." He tried to sound like his usual self.

"Well, I'm trying to get closer to Todd."

"W-what? Why?" Neil felt his voice crack, much like his confidence.

"I dunno, he's pretty cute. Don't you agree?"

"I--" Neil felt his whole body stiffen, his hand tightened it's pressure on his spoon like a clamp.

"I'm thinking of asking him out soon. No one else seems interested." Neil saw it, he saw Charlie smirk. Neil's emotions became unreasonably irrational, they became unhinged and even if he tried to hide it, they were all bubbling to the surface. Charlie had everything already, he and Neil shared everything before this, but for some reason, Neil couldn't share Todd with someone like Charlie.

"Oh hi, Todd! Welcome back" Neil glares at Charlie while he greets Todd.

"What did I miss?" Todd asks innocently, still taking his seat beside Charlie.

As Charlie began his sentence, Neil cuts him off. "Nothing-" Todd shifts his eyes to share eye contact with Neil. "By the way, we should head back to our room, I need help with my poems." Neil's last attempt of gaining the upper hand on Charlie failed when Charlie brought up his and Todd's prior arrangement.

Neil didn't get it. What did Charlie have that he didn't? Or better yet, what does Charlie not possess yet that he would try to make the moves on Todd?? Neil hated this feeling- this vicious vine-like feeling trapping him. Was it... Jealousy?

Neil's never had much of a reason to be jealous about someone before. He's only been jealous of people who were freer than him-- people like Charlie. Was he jealous of Charlie in that regard? That he could proudly express what he felt for Todd and Neil couldn't? He guessed that was the difference. Charlie did have everything; down to the personality that could make Todd fall for him.

Neil was in Meeks' dorm room, resigning himself in defeat like a pathetic loser he thought he was.

All Neil could do was blankly stare into the shine of the wires that coiled around parts of their machine. A brief knock on their door broke his trance- It was Cameron.

“Do you guys mind if I hang out here? I’m just gonna do my reviewers for a bit.”

“Sure, no problem.” Meeks nods, still measuring out some amount of wires.

“Wait, how come you’re not studying in your room?” Neil questioned,

Cameron took a moment to respond. “Charlie… he wanted to focus on his homework with Todd… Alone.”

This was the last straw for Neil, the final push that made him stand up for once. He couldn't bury his jealousy anymore, he had to confront Charlie.

He left his friends to march his way to Charlie's room. He wasted no time when asking Charlie about his motives.

"Well hello, Perry! What do I owe the pleasure?"

"Quit it-" Neil cuts him off. "Are you serious about Todd?"

"... What?"

"I- I'm asking if you're really interested in Todd?"

Maybe this was all a trick, maybe Neil was just being jealous, maybe Charlie was playing a cruel joke on Neil and he had to shake it out of him.

"Yes." Charlie's expression was ripe with confidence.

With that, Neil felt his world shatter. What was he doing? Was he gonna fight his friend over his feelings for Todd? Was he gonna deny Todd of someone as fun and as romantic as Charlie? Charlie's given so much to Neil and the way he was acting was nothing short of being selfish.

If Charlie really liked Todd, then Todd would be lucky. If Todd would return those feelings, Charlie would be the luckiest man to ever live.

Neil had nothing to offer to Todd that Charlie couldn't top. Neil felt his bitter feelings turn into catharsis, accepting that Todd's better off sharing his moments with Charlie than him.

"T-then... Please take care of him, okay?" Neil buckled his shoulders.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"If you ever hurt Todd-- You're a dead man, got it?" Neil's eyes were like daggers, piercing right at Charlie's own brown eyes.

"R-right..."

Neil figured he had to leave, he couldn't bear to see Todd and Charlie exchanging looks. But this of course wasn't the case. A knock echoed in the room.

When he opened the door, Todd was right there, his beautiful eyes staring up at Neil will a quizzical expression.

Neil assumed that Charlie would most likely profess his love to those eyes, and that knowledge broke Neil's heart.

"Sorry Todd, looks like I'm gonna have to move our study session for now. I think Neil needs your help more. Right, Neil?" Charlie spoke, catching Neil's bewildered expression.

"I'm sure he's got something more important than mine anyway."

Neil looks at Charlie and Todd, bouncing a confused face between them. He sees Charlie's wink before Todd guides Neil out of the room.

Todd sighs as he returns to his room with Neil, his sweaty hands in the midst of sticking to his papers.

How did he end up in this situation?

How could he explain the entire day?

It all started when he told Charlie about his crush on Neil in private. All he wanted was advice from the best friend of his crush and nothing more.

"Glad you came to me, Toddsie!" Charlie pats him on the back excitedly.

Todd didn't like how enthusiastic Charlie was being in this situation, though he was grateful Charlie immediately accepted him for coming out.

"I know exactly how to make him fall in love with you!"

"L-look Charlie, I'm not trying to get Neil to like me! I just-- I just wanted to know how to deal with all these feelings I'm having."

All these feelings- Todd's had these "feelings" ever since Neil shook his hand for the first time in the courtyard. He's never met someone as perfect as Neil. Yeah, he had Father Issues, impulsive actions, even the tendency to make weird noises (but he found those the cutest) and yet Neil made Todd's world move.

Neil's laughter, Neil's smile, the stolen glances he catches Neil casting his direction-- It was all Todd sought after in his recent days at Welton.

"Oh please, Todd, those 'feelings' are straight up love from what I hear. We just have to know if Neil feels the same way!"

"We don't even know if he's interested in men! Charlie- What am I supposed to do?" Todd buried his face into his hands.

"Don't worry, I'll find out a way to not only check if he swings that way, but I can guarantee I can get him to return your feelings."

"That-- That doesn't make any sense, Charlie." Todd wasn't able to question his friend any longer as they dashed into the study hall.

The Study group went on as usual, Todd assisting Knox with his poem for Chris, Meeks and Pitts building a contraption he was sure was the Radio Mark II, and Neil, Cameron and Charlie trying to answer some trigonometry homework.

What didn't help was Neil being directly in front of him. Todd could see Neil in his glasses, unabashedly handsome and very distracting. Todd would try his best to help Knox with his poem but Todd's eyes would linger onto Neil's perfectly "framed" face.

He then hears Charlie call him over. At first, Todd didn't think much of it, but he soon regrets ever telling Charlie of his crush on Neil.

The whole evening, Charlie tried to make Neil jealous without planning it out with Todd first. If Todd had at least known, he wouldn't have been trying picture Neil in Charlie's place as some sort of "method acting" to go along with this scheme. When dinner began, Charlie took Cameron's spot for 'maximum efficiency'. It didn't help when Charlie called him "cute" in front of Neil. Would Neil agree? Would Neil even describe a guy to be cute? Would Todd be able to enjoy his spaghetti and meatballs without Charlie's arm around him?

Todd decided that he should excuse himself to the bathroom for compose himself. (And to evade the plethora of compliments Charlie showered him with.)

When it came from Charlie, it felt like a joke, like a friendly description, really, than an actual compliment. Then Todd thinks if they came from Neil... then those words would make him swoon.

Would Neil even fall for this type of trick? Was it even right to trick Neil like this? Would Neil be even okay with the idea of Todd being in a relationship in with a man? He wasn't even sure if Neil would accept Todd's feelings, let alone feel jealous of Charlie.

As Todd approached their table, he's immediately greeted by Charlie.

"What did I miss?"

"Well Todd--" "Nothing." Neil cuts of Charlie with a serious tone.

Oh no... did Neil find out? Did Charlie rat him out already?

"By the way, we should head back to our room, I need help with my poems." Neil looks up at Todd with an expression that is both deadpan and attractive to him, Todd had no other choice but to accept.

"What? Todd, I thought you'd help me out?" Charlie pouts. "I did ask first." Todd didn't want to miss his opportunity to be with Neil, especially not when he looks at him like that. But Todd looks back at Charlie, raising his eyebrows as if to say "Just go along with it."

Todd was reluctant, of course, he didn't want to perpetuate fooling Neil in any way, but he wasn't sure if Neil had anything to return at all. They were always alone after all, nothing would be stripped away if he spent one evening in Charlie's room to make Neil jealous.

"Right, sorry, Neil. I'll go back to our room after I help out Charlie." Todd replied with a pained expression hidden behind his face.

That evening, when he approached Charlie's room, he hears Neil's voice muffling through. Todd wished had the will to listen in but he assumed it wouldn't be his business if it was said behind closed doors. He took another moment before knocking on Charlie's door.

Neil opens the door for Todd, their eyes meeting briefly, like a celestial occurrence that Todd took note of. Have they always been this brown?

"Hi Todd!" Charlie greets him, breaking him from Neil's gaze.

"Hey Charlie, Hi Neil."

He was expecting Charlie to pull another stunt to make Neil's brown eyes angry, but instead both his and Neil's eyes lifted in surprise when Charlie told him Neil needed his help more.

Did they come to some agreement?

And Todd could've sworn Charlie was winking at Neil... or was it at him?

All these questions didn't matter when they were alone in their room.

Their chests rattled like cages, their hearts ready to jump out at any moment.

Neil bit his lip as Todd took a seat by his desk.

"S-so Neil..." Todd muttered, "Can I ask you something? B-before I help you with your poem..."

"Oh- Yeah, sure."

"What do you think of... of men dating each other?"

Neil lets out a tiny cough. "W- Excuse me?"

"Do you think... it's ok? For two guys to like each other?"

Neil wasn't sure how to respond, was Todd telling him that he liked Charlie? Was Neil too late? Did he miss his chance to tell Todd what he really felt?

"I-- I guess it's alright," Neil answered, slumping his shoulders down in defeat. If he was gonna lose Todd to Charlie, he might as well be supportive. "But- you have to make sure it's the right person." Neil wasn't going down without a fight though.

Todd's face brightened with Neil's response. So 1 part of his query is answered; Neil is ok with the idea of men liking each other. Now it's the question of Neil's feelings for Todd.

"I-If someone, a guy, liked you, how would you feel?" Todd stood up, turning to face Neil. Both of them were by their desks, like two sturdy posts defending their base. Todd awaited Neil’s response with the anticipation akin to a war officer in a meeting room.

"I... would really only prefer it from one guy." Neil took a step forward, with the courage of a powerful Chesspiece during an endgame.

Todd took note of this, mimicking his step, this time walking a bit closer to Neil with his hands in his pockets. "Y-yeah? Who?"

Neil noted this feeling being similar to a spelling bee, like spelling out a complicated word letter by letter, taking a breath to make sure the next thing he was about to say was exactly what the world wanted him to say.

"You, Todd. It's always going to be you."

Todd looks up at Neil, who's now inches away from him from, fully realizing their slight height difference. "I'd say the same for you."

"I hope... I'm not... taking you away from Charlie-" Neil slowly brings his hand to sweep Todd’s hair aside to see his eyes better.

Todd snickers slightly, catching Neil by surprise. "Neil... You don't have to worry about Charlie. I don't have any feelings for him."

"But-" Neil looks concerned, feeling like he betrayed Charlie. "He... He likes you. Todd, I--"

"Is that what he told you? Neil... I hope you won't be angry when I tell you he's been pulling your leg."

Neil jerks his head backwards. "What?"

"I.. Just promise you won't be angry okay?" Todd had to come clean, he couldn’t handle Neil thinking badly of him if he never admitted Charlie's plan. Neil nods before Todd reveals Charlie’s idiotic scheme to get them together by means of tomfoolery.

Neil sighs with a smile, leaning forward to rest on Todd's shoulder. Todd was still getting used to the fact Neil's VERY close right now.

"Well, you guys did a pretty good job of making me extremely jealous." Neil laughs a bit. He was in relief that he didn't need to compete with Charlie.

"I'm... I'm really sorry, Neil. I told him I just wanted advice." Todd looks down with embarrassment.

Neil tilts Todd’s chin up with his hand, bringing his face up to look at him. "You're gonna have to make up for it, y'know?"

Todd’s face simmered under Neil's touch. "I know."

Todd learned that Neil was a Jealous type of guy, not the type to be possessive, but definitely the type to mope around rather than steal someone else's love interest.

Luckily for Neil, he already had Todd’s heart to begin with.

Neil wasn’t used to sharing, but he and Todd shared their first kiss that night. That's a compromise he was willing to do.

Bonus:

Knox, Meeks and Pitts POV:

4 of their friends (the roommates) getting paired up in one night made them:

Thanks again to @sweettodd for that one post that spawn all these POVs haha

Taglist: @anderperrytheplatypus @she-nuwanda @andersonsdeskset @sweetnessbythesea @maisietheweltoncow [tell me if u wanna be added/removed next time]

[phoenixyfriend]

b, f, i for the fanfic asks?

FanFic Ask Game

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Well, certain elements of The Discourse of Annie Storm, but I think this question is more about fics like Ghost Ladies, Sowing Discord, Starbucks in the City (and Soap Operas in the Park), that sort of thing. It's only ever elements, though.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Plenty! A regular one is omegaverse (mostly reading), and author tract nerd tangents (when writing) that I don't have to remove since I'm writing for free and I can add what I want.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. (Doing this one last so I can toss it under a cut)

I'm really happy with a lot of the layered-meaning conversations in my time-travel fics, but let's go with something I'm proud of just because of how much fun it was to write in Bare Your Teeth, Soldier:

“Ow…” Anakin groans. He opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling. “Oh, you have got to be kidding me.”

Obi-Wan questions this, in the way of someone with a recent head injury, which is to say that he forgoes words in favor of an aggrieved grunt that could, in some universe, be parsed as a ‘what is wrong, oh child of my heart and soul whom I love most dearly,’ but would most likely just be interpreted in this universe, and their last, as ‘what’s up?’

“How are we in Coruscant?” Anakin demands.

Obi-Wan makes another noise of confusion.

“Yes, I am looking at the ceiling of the Council room,” Anakin snaps. “It’s daylight and everything.”

Anakin still doesn’t get up. There are people here, people he knows, but he doesn’t want to. He’s injured, and he hasn’t slept, and also Obi-Wan is hurt. He can be petty and tired and stay on the floor.

With a noise, Obi-Wan flops over. Anakin doesn’t see him do it, but he can hear the shift of fabric and groan of pain and clatter of armor. “Well, then. Odd.”

“That’s all you have to say?”

“I may have a concussion,” Obi-Wan acknowledges. “I also may have been poisoned. Hopefully it’s one or the other, not both.”

Anakin groans and slaps a hand over his eyes. Then he gags, because there was blood on his hand, and now it’s on his face. This is disgusting.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, ever pleasant.

“Hm?”

“Nobody’s addressing us.”

Anakin thinks this through for a moment. Someone almost comments, but chooses not to. They’re probably waiting for him to talk himself into a hole, or if they’re nice, just waiting to see where this all goes.

“Honestly,” Anakin says, “I figured they were waiting for me to stop being annoying like usual.”

“Oh, you’ve noticed!”

“Yes, I’ve noticed,” Anakin says, not a little offended. “I’m ‘abrasive and ill-tuned to the emotions of others’ and ‘competent in battle and in interactions with lower class civilians, but to be removed from engagement with any high-ranking politician or social figure, given the risk of intentional insult,’ but I’m not stupid.”

Obi-Wan seems almost impressed. Anakin hopes he is. The question is obvious. “…who are you quoting?”

“I dunno, it was from an anonymous performance review,” Anakin dismisses. “Point is, I’m an asshole who’s not great at people, not a moron.”

“At least you’re self-aware,” Obi-Wan sighs. “I remember the days when you used to read romance novels just to find the best way to insult me with fancy language since you—”

“Who are you people?”

Hm.

That’s not the usual response they get, even if Master Windu does sound just as frustrated with them as usual.

Anakin lifts his head just enough to look around the room. It’s the full council. They haven’t been assembled in person like this since the war started.

He squints. That’s Coleman Trebor. Huh.

“Weren’t you dead?” He asks. The man himself blinks at the two of them. “Wait, is this time travel?”

Obi-Wan groans. “That’s a new one.”

Anakin drops his head back to the floor. He’s too tired for this shit. “You don’t sound surprised, Master.”

“I stopped being surprised by unconventional applications of the Force after that time you were twelve and accidentally melted a droid with your brain.”

“I apologized.”

“Be that as it may—”

“Ahem,” Master Windu interrupts.

Anakin smirks at Obi-Wan about him getting interrupted instead of Anakin, but Obi-Wan isn’t looking at him. Obi-Wan is frowning at the ceiling, brow deeply furrowed, and looks to be in pain. That ruins it a bit, then. Anakin can’t be smug when his master is hurting.

Well, he can. He’s just prefer not to, in this particular situation.

“Strangers to you, we are not,” Yoda’s ever familiar voice interrupts. “Strangers to us, you are. An explanation, have you?”

“Investigation. Sith Temple. Anakin’s fault.”

“Hey!”

“I told you not to touch the—”

“I was pushed—”

“Because you refuse to pay attention to the people trying to kill you—”

“Well excuse me for trying to save your life, Master, maybe next time you’re getting shot at while a Sith Acolyte is trying to cut your head off, I can pay more attention to which direction she’s kicking me while you flirt with her—”

[bluecloudious]

Here's a little rant about Kits and Zanaz canon, cause I have quite a few thoughts that I dunno what else to do with and my head was aching really bad (and I wanted to get smth done), so I decided to share some of the ones that I've been debating for a while (It's pretty long, be warned):

The TL;DR is just the thought names, I guess.

Thought nr 1: They are 100 percent a couple, even in the first comic I posted of them.

I've been thinking about this a lot, whether they were just best friends who had crushes on one another, or if they were just straight up a thing and, yeah. They're just a couple and have been for a while. The written story is now the AU where Zani chickened out of confessing his feelings for so long that he finally was given a deadline. Comics are the canon and in that canon, they got together shortly after becoming agents. Zani occasionally flirts with other people, but that's just kinda a part of his personality and Kits has grown used to it. Their shipname is Kitzan.

Thought nr 2: Kits has no self-confidence.

In the meeting comic I tried to make it a bit noticeable how unhappy he is with himself, but even after transitioning, that fact has only slightly changed. He is his preferred gender now, but he still isn't confident at all about his looks, his voice or what he says, despite how much Zanaz tries to convince him that he's fine. The only thing Zanaz has managed to stop Kits from doing is actually being self-destructive aka Kits starved himself for a while (also hinted at in the comic). That's why he's way chunkier now- cause his body stopped trusting him and gained fat afterwards. All of this isn't really visible or audible in any of the comics, because Kits isn't vocal about it at all. Zanaz is the only person who really even knows it/cares about it. It's also the base for his mostly detail-less design compared to Zani- he's trying not to stick out.

Thought nr 3: They both have a body count

Yeah, they've both killed before, which, for the world they live in, isn't really surprising. It was all in self-defence, don't worry. The amount of rogue agents and grunts that decide to deviate in a violent way is a pretty big percent, so they've had to encounter quite a few of them. Zanaz' preferred weapon is of course the handgun/glock and is the more experienced/lethal of the two. Kits on the other hand is more proficient with knives, his main weapon being a shaving knife he got from Zani. He hasn't had to use it much, but the few times he has, we're pretty desperate. Zanaz also has a body count in the other sense too, but you could probably tell that much already.

Thought nr 4: I still do not think they'll have a happy ending

Sorry, but the happy ending Kits and Zanaz I drew are just a part of an AU as well. There is no malicious reason for why I think they'll die. They just happen to get the short end of the stick, just like most members of the A.A.H.W. We are talking about an agency that has at least three(four if you count that one incident with 2bdamned) very proficient people constantly killing staff. There are so many deaths that they have to use clones, for pete's sake! The amount of time they've already managed to be alive for is quite impressive (I imagine about 3 years).

Thought nr 5: Zanaz is even more protective of his inner feelings than Kits is

Even though Zanaz is very blunt and honest about most things, even some considered private info to most, he is not actually open about how he feels. He hides his negative emotions as much as he possibly can, even from Kits. (This was briefly explored in the written story, also.) The only reason Kits knows this, is because he's caught Zani crying to himself in less visited areas of their main facility, once or twice. Even then he wouldn't say what's wrong, that's how stubborn he is. All Kits could really do when this happened, was hug him and pat his head.

Fun facts that I didn't know how to categorize:

Zanaz is a dog person and Kits is a cat person. They combine to become bird people. (Yes, this is my excuse to draw dog boy Zani at some point.)

Zanaz' and Kits' personalities are based off myself. Of course in an amplified way, but yeah, I relate to them a lot. (Others have claimed to relate as well, which is most pleasant.)

They get their shade colors from RGB. Regular agents have red, Zanaz has green and Kits has blue.

I occasionally draw them during my free time! Most of those pictures I will not be posting to Tumblr, however. Some cause they're just kinda sketches that I don't really see a point in posting and others are just straight up not Tumblr appropriate.

Kits and Zanaz had not dated anyone before each other. Kits cause of insecurity and Zanaz because he didn't want any commitment. They are still very loyal to each other, tho.

The main song I listen to whenever I draw Zanaz is Left Boy- Security Check. Kits doesn't have a song that I listen to and get his vibe, but I am still looking.

Bit of a bonus tangent too:

I'm sorry that most of these are negative. The funni bois are, ya know, funny, and I tend not to make media about them that isn't funny, but I wanted to blabber about how I think they are when not performing a punchline.

When I design characters, I never only think about the positive personality traits. I tend to instead think about what the negatives are, so I can figure out, how they handle it. How they cope and how they've grown from their negative experiences/emotions enchants me.

I've said this before, Kits and Zanaz got created on a whim, basically unintentionally. But, I grew attached to the two idiot agents with different color shades. Thus, I wanted to know more about them.

I think, by now, I've figured them out for the most part. (Thankfully I don't have to give them any family or nothing, cause they're both clones.)

Also, their color scheme is final. If you've noticed, they're shades have changed shade over time. Zanaz' got brighter, while Kits' got darker. The suit color is a random shade every time, cause I just choose a dark shade of gray via slider. Hair color hasn't changed at all, as far as I know. Only Good Ending Zani has darker hair, cause he had it colored.

And, speaking of the Good Ending AU, I don't think I know what to do with the concept. I try to think more into it, but my brain blanks. If anyone wants to draw or write about it, I would be completely fine with it. Might even consider it canon, if none of it conflicts with the established canon. Good Ending AU takes place in the far future, after all.

But, yeah, I think that's it. I'm kinda honestly surprised if anyone actually reads all of this, lol. I hope you found my long-ass tangent about my two silly gay MadCom OCs interesting :)))

[inevitably-johnlocked]

I still think that s4 is fake. I don't even care about Moftiss or the lies they like to tell or if they are bad writers or not. First of all, I don't think they are. Second I only trust what I see and I see a s4 that is as true as my fake eyelashes and the only proof I need is the t6t blog post from years ago like COME ON. That wasn't bad writing that was clearly a plan for something bigger. It wasn't the end. I'm 100% sure. I still hope that someone else is still 'on fire' like me :)

Hey Nonny!

Not sure how familiar you are with my blog, but the tinhat part of me is with you 100% on the fakeness of S4. It’s RIDICULOUSLY full of errors and inconsistencies, and I’m STILL HAUNTED by the fake blog entry and the fact that everyone suddenly forgot John wrote T6T already. 

And yeah, tinhat me truly believes that there’s something more, that S4 is a combination of John’s Alibi/Blog Theory/Unreliable Narrator, TD-12, and John’s TAB ALL TOGETHER, not just one theory because that’s what makes sense to me, with TFP being Their [John and Sherlock’s] Plan going ALL wrong and John ending up getting shot in the head by Mary. I haven’t really thought of it beyond those meta, but I plan to someday because I want to write my own metafic for S4, LOL. 

And here’s the thing: you can still tinhat and agree that S4 was a clusterfuck, and without an S5 to explain it, S4 ruins the entire series as a whole and creates all new plotholes. The problem is that Sherlock is meant for mainstream audiences – it always has been – and has easter eggs thrown in for the fans, and the general audience doesn’t read the show like we do. To the general audience, S4 jumped the shark – quite literally in fact – and on the surface just appeared to not be a cohesive narrative. It did its damnedest to no-homo the series, destroy the only things that most people enjoyed the show for (the friendship of John and Sherlock, and the non-existent cases), and just… made the plot into a spectacle, and THEN Mofftiss became indignant that no one liked S4. I mean… what did they expect?! BAH. 

And it’s fine to think they’re good writers, but even good writers write shit once in awhile, and egos sometimes take over. I personally think they’re better at single episodes (like TAB, for instance), or when writing with a third writer, because the writing of S4 was vastly inferior to previous seasons when they’re forced to make an arc, but their arc is completely off kilter to the other season. Yes, it could be “some sort of plan” but then why are all the actors avoiding Sherlock like the plague and why were Mofftiss Pikachu-faced when the general audience AND fans disliked S4? AND it’s kind of proven with even Moffat’s era of Dr. Who, which I can’t confirm because I haven’t seen it all yet (because I genuinely do NOT like the whole Clara arc and I just couldn’t get through the first couple episodes), but from what I understand, it just gets lazy and relies on a lot of tropes. I dunno, my opinion, it’s meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

That said, and this is a “royal you” sense, not YOU individually: it’s okay to be “on fire”, just understand that a lot of people who aren’t have been called “haters” and “ex-fans”, both of which are ridiculous terms that belittle the emotional intelligence of everyone who invested a lot of their heart and time into a show that THEY STILL LOVE and then shat on and mocked by bigger “true believer” blogs who bullied them and sent their fans after the smaller people. So yeah, I have no problem with people who believe in more, and I have no problem with people who were disappointed. Just don’t go around shitting on people that have different opinions. I actually like reading “both sides” and fellow fence-sitters’ views, because it helps me build my own belief system. That’s what being a part of a community and fandom is all about.

ANYWAY, sorry for that tangent. I think my “in fireness” has died down in later months / years because of the length of time that has passed AND because of doing my own research into the actors’ upcoming careers and watching past interviews in an unbiased way. Little things like that. I do hope for an S5, but only if it clears up S4 and goes back to the narrative that S3/TAB was hinting at. But in my heart I’m worried about WHAT S5 would be, and part of me just says “let it be, the fandom has us covered”. But what do I know, LOL. I’m just a schmuck behind a computer screen that wants to please everyone but pleases no one, LOL.

[arethereanyoriginalusernames]

ADDISON CHARACTER SPOTLIGHT, PART 2

This post was requested by @zoophobiapika. Sorry this took so long. Apparently Tumblr hates it when I try to add sources. -.- 

Welcome to part two of a series known as Character Spotlight. In this part of it, I give my predictions and analysis of a character. If you'd like to see me critique and give my opinion on this character, please go check out Part 1. As usual, Zoophobia is owned by our Lord and Savior Vivziepop. Please feel free to tell me what you think, and request any posts. With that, I hope you enjoy.

------------------------------------------------

Oh Jesus, what's this? A post where I don't complain about how the way Addi was written was kind of annoying? What is this black magic? ! Yeah, yeah, I don't like Addi as a critic of zp, but as a casual fan, I like him. He's not my fave, but I like him. Today, let's throw the critic goggles into the fireplace and have some fun.

---------------------------------------------

First, let's start with what we know.

Name: Addison Woods

Age: Originally, he was going to be 14-15, but allegedly Vivz currently considers him to be 17

Gender: Male

Sexuality : About as straight as a pinwheel. Also, he has a thing for snake people and dudes with accents

Known hobbies : Likes art, and is very talented in this field.

Handicaps : PTSD ( does not like being touched)

Relationships:

Latika - Adoptive mum, cares a lot about Addi, and vice versa

Sasha- step cousin , bugs and teases Addi. Addi doesn't like him

Gustav : Boyfriend, they both find each other attractive, and apparently they end up having a happy, healthy relationship

Damian : Best friend. He enjoys messing with Addi and flirting with him. While they don't hold romantic feelings for each other, they're "friends with benefits ". Addi often is confused by Dame's flirting attempts. They apparently met some time before the story started. 

Sahara: Friend. Apparently these two aren’t as close as Dame and Addi. 

Tom: Addi's ex. They don't seem to be on good terms as Tom is still possessive of Addi.

Mackenzie : I have a lot to say on this, so for the sake of length, I will save this tangent for another time.

Jack : Addi's role model

Zill: Addi has a crush on him

--------------------------------------

Let's start with what we know

Addi was originally created by Xirxene. He's basically this artificial life form that is a human/fennec fox ( /cat apparently ) hybrid. He was frequently experimented on, causing him to develop a type of PTSD that causes him to panic whenever he's touched unexpectedly. At some point, he was adopted by Latika, who is best snake mum. He also met Damian some time before the story began. Xirxene is still after him, and members attempt to abduct him. He’s a student in ZPA’s art class, is rather passionate about this field, and is so good he causes poorly introduced and developed relationships to happen.

--------------------------------------

So what do I think about Addison?

One thing that stood out to be was Addi’s motivation; Love. Allegedly, he throws himself at guys and, if his and Tom’s relationship is any indication, his relationships don’t last very long. If this is true, and Dame isn’t hyperbolising, why? One would’ve thought that if he does this so often, why hasn’t he learned? Why continue this behavior? I remember reading that Addi, due to having some weird chemicals in his system, will not live very long. If this is true, maybe he wants a romantic relationship before he dies. But even if this is true, again, why?It’s possible that this could be a result of some serious insecurity on Addi’s part. In chapter 5, we see people refer to Addi as a “freak”. Addi has also been described as being shy and introverted. So, hear me out, what if Addi’s insecurity comes from not only him seeing himself as a freak, but almost everybody seeing him as a freak. I mean, ok, this isn’t some impressive idea. I’m sure several Addi fans are yelling “No duh you Canadian, syrup-chugging nibnob!” Ok, ok, I get it, but hear me out! I think this could be why he’s so desperate for love. He wants someone around that can make him feel less insecure and loved. I could see this as the reason behind his relationships not going well. They either don't go as planned, or Addi unbalances the relationship by contributing too much to it.

Also, I'm sorry, but if the BFFs with benefits thing is still canon.... I have questions. Does Dame just become substitute boyfriend when Addi's single, and vice versa? Do they both collectively get bored and flirt with each other? Like, they just casually make out but they're not dating? I'm sorry, I just find this amusing.

Ok, enough with love. Love is boring. Let's talk about Adder. I think Adder will basically be either a feral side that Addi developed during his time at Xirxene (maybe he'd try to fight back against the scientists ) or he's a twisted manifestation of what Addi secretly wants to be. While Addi is...Addi, Adder is tough, uncaring, dangerous, and powerful. Unlike Addi, Adder don't need no man (*snap, snap, snap *) I can also see Adder taking revenge on anyone who wronged Addi. As for his relationship to Mirage, I think Adder may follow her since her plan somehow aligns with his quest for vengeance, and Mirage encourages Addi to leave and Adder to stick around.

I dunno. That's just what I think when it comes to analyzing this character. God, I talk too much

--------------------------------

Predictions

Relationships :

Mackenzie - I have a lot to say on this, so I'll save this tangent for another time.

Gustav- while I do believe Addi will ultimately end up with Gustav, I can see the relationship hitting several bumps, especially with Gustav possibly being forced to go through *gasp* character development. Like I've said above, I can also see Addi causing an unbalance in the relationship, which is never healthy. I think there'll also be an arc where Gustav and Addi will have to deal with the whole Xirxene thing.

Damian - ok, so unpopular opinion here. I think these two will drift apart. Not permanently, but at least for some time. I'll go over Dame's side of the equation in another post, so let's focus on Addi. While Addi may have needed Dame in the past, what with all of his issues, I think he may start hanging out with the rest of the main cast and other characters, branching away from Dame. Rereading Ch5 strengthened this belief as it seems like Addi has had enough of Dame's bull and is going his own route rather then be the passive friend. This of course I can see leading to much emotional pain and angst, which is like fucking candy to me.

Live or Die: Ah-hahaha. ....I think at least 5 people already know the answer to this one. To save on space, I strongly suggest you check out my Addison Headcanon part 1 and 2. Tldr, I think Addi is gonna die.

Powers: I've seen some art of Adder having "glory hand powers" and apparently he also can summon two giant demon snakes. I'm willing to bet that he's gonna have powers.

Role: Antagonist. Addi was originally created to be an adversary for Zill. While this may have been scrapped, I personally think it'd be a really cool subversion of expectations.

" You all probably thought it'd be that little shit Damian, but no, it was I, Addison the bean, all along! "

AhahahahaIdontwatchjojosbizarreadventure.

So what do you guys think? Let me know your thoughts and predictions. And please send any requests you want. Thank you.

I apologize for wasting your time.

-ATOUN

[arethereanyoriginalusernames]

Character Spotlight 1, P1

DAMIAN BEELZY

DISCLAIMER BECAUSE YES,

I do not own zoophobia. Zoophobia would belong to the lovely Vivian Medrano (I believe that's how her last name is spelt? Meh, I'll check later), otherwise known as Vivziepop

Also, while yes, this is a series where I am going to be critical of the source material, this is NOT a critique of vivziepop herself, as zoophobia is...2, 3 years old? It'd be unfair to judge her and her writing skills based on something she did a while ago.

I'm not doing this because I hate the source material either. On the contrary, I love Zoophobia. The reason I'm doing this is because I believe that if we find flaws in media we enjoy, we could all learn something valuable from it, and apply it to our own work.

If you disagree with something stated here, that's alright. Feel free to tell me what you think and ask questions. I'm not telling you what to think. I simply hope you enjoy.

I apologize for wasting your time.

-ATOUN

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......So, I'm back.

I've already talked about Dame before in my favorite zp characters list. I've already stated why I like him. For anyone who might not have seen that list, let me give you a spicy recap. I found Dame to be one of the more entertaining characters throughout the comic and he was one of the better written characters during the 5-ish chapters we got from this series. I've already stated what I like about him, so let's just get into some things I don't like.

Oh come on, let's be honest. We all know why we're here. We all can see how much attention my least favorite character list got compared to my favorite list (even if admittedly some of that attention was me thanking people, which btw is something I should really do more often ). You're all here because you want me to tear a hole in this series. It's the same reason most people watch car racing. We don't wanna see who wins. We wanna see some epic car crashes.

Still, I want to start with critiques towards this character I don't agree with.

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1. Damian is a bad main character because he only has negative character traits

A character having only bad character traits does not in itself mean a character is bad. If that character is poorly written, then it's a bad character. Also, I'd advise you read chapters 3 and 5 where Dame is shown to have some good traits about him. (Ex. Chapter 5 where he expresses concern for Addi )

2. Damian's design is too bland compared to other characters

While I agree with this to some extent, something I want to say here is that Dame is not unique in this regard. You could apply this to Spam, Vanex, Jackie, and Kayla as well. This is more aimed at those who single Damian out as the only one with this problem.

3. Damian is a bad villain

Damian is not meant to be the antagonist. He has been confirmed to be apart of the main cast, and you'll notice that in all of Vivz's villain line ups, he is not present. At most, he may a rival or adversary to either zill or Jack.

4. He is unoriginal as a character.

.....and any other characters in media today are? It's very rare in this day and age to come across anything 100 % original. It's even been proposed that there are no longer any original ideas left. Besides, a character being bad does not mean the character itself is bad. At most, it's a reflection on the writers laziness.

5. He's too edgy.

Ah yes, a commonly used complaint you'll hear spouted by angsty 13 year olds who think (despite the fact "edgy" characters are often fan favorites since they often turn out to be the most interesting / relatable characters ) that edginess = bad, and that anything bad happening to a character like, I dunno, EMOTIONAL ISSUES THAT REAL PEOPLE DEAL WITH makes that character edgy by default. Edginess can be done wrong, but not every edgy character is bad. Shut your pie hole, and hustle your buns out of my Italian styled soup kitchen, you cotton headed ninny mugginses. *cue air horns*

Also, hunny, if you hate edgy characters, oh boy, you do NOT wanna read ANY of my stories.

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There. Now onto the main event. The butchering of a popular character. Let's get ready to break the hearts of fan girls everywhere! MUAH-HAHAHA!

Actually, I wasn't really able to find too much wrong with a character save for a) something completely subjective, b) something related more to a problem a have with zp's pacing as opposed to the character and c) a concern about how the character is written.

A) Damian being too much of a jerk. I disagree with this, but I didn't mention this above because. ...yeah, some people can feel that Dame is too much of a jerk, and I get why. It's more subjective as this attributes more to a subjective opinion on the character.

B) Damian's freak out in chapter 3. It's just the pacing in that scene that gets to me. It feels as though Dame goes from 0 to 6 in only a few frames and that entire segment where he's slowly becoming angrier and angrier feels rushed. According to Dame's character sheet (shown above ) Damian is supposed to be good at hiding his more demonic tendencies, but you would've never guessed that from this scene. This is something that kind of happens throughout zoophobia where the pacing with be slow, then all of a sudden, we just speed through an entire scene. For instance, the start of chapter 5 is pretty slow. However, we speed through the scene with Tom so fast, his appearance doesn't really do much or become really memorable. This more of a story problem and less of a character problem.

Now.... onto c.

First of all, by concern, I'm referring to something that might be a problem depending on how the rest of zoophobia turns out. The problem with both critiquing and defending Zoophobia is that we only have 5 chapters to go off of to determine its quality. This is something more like the tangent I had about Addison in my least favorite character list. I suggest for this, you grab a spoonful of salt and force it slowly down your throat as you read this as my concerns could easily be proven wrong here.

So what problem could I possibly foresee? Well, for an example of what I'm about to discuss, let me take you to a dark corner of the internet. The RWBY fandom. Specifically, let me introduce you to one of it's main cast

Blake Belladonna.

For anyone outside the loop, Blake is (currently ) one of the most hated characters in the series. There are many reasons why, but for this, I'm going to lock in on one problem in particular. Throughout Volumes 1-5, Blake was notorious for being an inconsistent character. Granted, in volumes 1 and 2, this was not a problem unique to Blake as the writers were still trying to figure out how to write her and the rest of the characters. They couldn't decide weather they wanted Blake to be the introverted, bookworm, straight man character, or to be silly. In later volumes, however, the problem just got worse. While all the other characters were sorted out and had settled on their own personalities, Blake's character seemed to change whenever she was in a new scene. While it's not bad for a character to have multiple sides to them, this is not how you want to do it. One scene, Blake was a bitch who wanted nothing more than to be left alone. Next scene, she was an emotionally mature figure helping her gay chameleon friend with issues. Next scene, she was a trauma victim. Next scene, she was a freedom fighter fighting oppression. Next scene, she was a badass haunted by her past. Next scene, back to bitch.

You see the problem?

This made Blake a hard character to fully connect with, and eventually, the fandom ended up agreeing that Blake is better whenever the scene isn't focused on her.

So what does this have to do with Damian? Well, one thing I noticed with him when I first dipped my toe into this fandom was the three main interpretations of Damian's character there seemed to be. One, a flirty, yet cartoon villainy jerk; two, a misunderstood, rebellious boi who was somewhat mischievous; or three, an overposessive, yet tolerable brat who hated not getting his way. Just to clarify, I'm referring to fans who had only read the comic and had not seen any posts about him from Vivz.

I pondered why during the third zoophobia rewrite, and I eventually came to this conclusion : the type of Damian fans seemed to remember depended on WHICH Dame they remembered best, Ch2, Ch3, or Ch5. Why? Well, it basically wolloped me upside the head after reading a post where Dame's personality was described as "diverse". Because yeah.... It's diverse alright.

Let's put Dame under a microscope for a second and go through each of his appearences, and his character sheet which (someone correct me if I'm wrong ) came out between ch. 2 and ch.3.

His character sheet lists the following about his personality : he ranges from mischievous to a downright brat, he loves entertaining and messing with others and making them laugh, he's flirty, he's open, he can be spoiled or arrogant at times, he gets bored easily, and he is secretly lonely but hard to impress and has an enormous heart. He also has a dark side he's good at hiding

CH 1. Appears to be that one kid who enjoys messing with others, acts slightly flirty towards Kayla, and doesn't seem to take much very seriously.

Ch 2. I've often described this Dame as sociopathic, because honestly, he kinda is. He doesn't care about anyone here but himself. He acts flirty towards Kayla, and torments both Zill and Jack just to further his goal of charming a girl he supposedly knows will "give into temptation eventually " and he's outright manipulative here. He even finds Zill's pain amusing to some extent and mocks him and Jack while aggressively leaning on his cousin (probably to assert dominance (can aggressively leaning be the new t-posing? Please? ))

CH 3. Dame still has some lack of empathy, finding the idea of his cousin being burned alive funny, however this seems to be limited to just Jack. He's a lot more fun loving here, as seen in him running around town with his friends. He darker side makes an appearance. We see him entertaining others at the beginning, and oddly enough, he's more self conscious here. He gets embarrassed by Tenta, is bothered when he is teased about his nanny, and is triggered by the priest spouting that tasty religious bull shit. His conversation with his parents also makes him seem like he needs his daddy's approval, and may have daddy issues.

CH 5. Here, he's more of a brat. He's possessive of Addi, and at the beginning, he's more flirty and care free.

Thus far, Vivz seems to switch between various sides of dame depending on what she needs him to be for a certain scene. As scene with Blake, this isn't something that really works out well. And it's not like Vivz can't write characters with different sides to them. We see her do this with Jack, Kayla, and Cameron. In one chapter, these characters can show more then one side to them. In Damian's case, he's like play-doh. He just molds into whatever Vivz needs instead of just being his own character.

Like I said before though, this is a concern. Future chapters can easily prove me wrong here. This is just the sad ramblings of a Canadian who is obsessed with covering themselves in glitter. Tell me what you guys think and if you enjoyed!

Now to wait for zoophobiapika to either message me or reblog this, quoting a line from it.....