#i feel like 30k is still
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Yes hello just wanted to step by and say that I love your Wolfwren fic so far thanks have a great day
🥺🥺🥺 oh wow thank you!! that fic is so much fun to write & getting to delve into sabine’s gay little head and explore the absolute tragedy of her life (being used as a child soldier by the empire, falling in love with her best friend who then left her for dead, finding a family and then losing it in pieces, one by one to this war she can never stop fighting) has been such a painful and rewarding experience but so good…
i’m 🫡😭 about giving sabine this slow-dance of blood and tension and longing into something raw and healing and beautiful with shin. it’s what she deserves!!
#sabine is an incredible character 🥹🥹#this chapter is a bit about her & hera & after the war#sabine making prosthetics for guys on the docks in coruscant and getting shitfaced and kissing girls in bars#just how lost she is. her life all tangled with regrets and missed opportunities#how all her bleeding has left her with nothing but blood (and hera and zeb who love her and try their best but.)#this fic was NOT supposed to be a slow-burn but BY GOD it’s getting there#i feel like 30k is still#reasonable though. not exactly slow#but yeah ty so much for the kind words. the next chapter should be soon!#wolfwren#anon
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qifrey's birthday and silly stuff
#witch hat tag#orufrey#excerpt is from my 30k failing eye fic (link in pinned) which has a birthday scene. i revisited and edited it again and it is now 30k :)#kerplunk thing is because of a mysterious game that shirahama has drawn orufrey playing before and to me it looks like Kerplunk.#a kids' game from this 'Real World' which we live in. card game is Cheat from neopets. but it's a real game. i want to play it for real....#you lie and cheat in it..hence the name..and 'branston the eyrie you are a bold one' classic neopets tumblr post...no....ok then.....#'hey qif i know we're obsessed with witches' kerplunk but we used to play cheat all the time what happened to that??'#'oh. i just..don't like lying to you. i don't like how it feels.' 'oh haha i guess that's a good thing. ok let's play kerplunk instead ^_^'#'mm. *dying inside crying in the rain in my soul*'#i dislike trying to illustrate my writing. i resent myself for having described oru's captivating mysterious smile so perfectly#i can't draw that. i know what it looks like perfectly in my mind and i am right there on that roof but i can't draw it satisfyingly enough#writing comes from a different part of my brain. there's different things in there. i'm glad i wrote out some of what i can't draw.#then there are things that i don't write or draw but which are still a crucial ongoing facet of my orufrey mindscape.#the Written orufrey the Drawn orufrey and the Unspoken orufrey... three faces of a beautiful irreplaceable jewel in my heart...#could a depressed person do THAT.
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WILL I EVER WRITE A FUCKING FIC BELOW 50K WORDS IM GONNA PUNCH A WALL
#vixen rambles#sobbing. is my prose too long. am i pacing too slow. is that it#trying to write the first chapter of a fic and its like. 3/4 done and already 3.6k words.......#not necessarily a bad thing but. GOD i just wanna write a concise multichap fic for once. only 30k words once i finish it#already probably gonna end up extending hamartia by 1-2 chapters so as to not rush important plot elements. head in hands#yeah its cool ebing able to write so much but NOT WHEN IT FEELS LIKE YOUVE WRITTEN A MILE AND STILL HAVE GOTTEN NOWHEREEE AOUGH
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reblog to like ratio is sooooo sad on here these days. SIGH.
#like i'm not one of the ~immaculate giffers#so getting notes is really hard now unless you have a following/or a network that has a following#and it's just........discouraging to try and gif anything for a fandom you're not in unless people follow you FOR your gifs#which isn't how like i want my tumblr to feel anyways but it used to be that i could just gif anything and somehow the chain would go off#and now............yeah it doesn't#i'll never forget how the one random star wars gifset i made one time got 30k notes#that was insane to me and will never be replicated#but still the norm among the fandom used to be ~1-2k notes on a gifset and a lot of those notes were reblogs with tags i used to live for#and also those tags pre 2016 are no longer visible which. yeah. hurts actually#tumblr salt in my tags i guess#tumblr salt#it's like having a popular fic and losing half or all of your comments#/end rant of my gifmaker's salt
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I have to pry myself off the computer for real but tomorrow will someone please talk to me about Love Between Fairy & Devil now that I've finally watched it a year after the rest of the internet, and how Fairy Danyin is the best character, and Danyin/Changheng is the most lesbian (and/or gnc)/gay solidarity ship ever, and I am so stunned that they textually ended with Danyin admitting her original thing for Gods of War is that she wanted to become one herself - i.e. there was some "idk if I want to be him or be with him" to her Changheng pining - and with her demonstratively labeling Changheng her xiongdi???????? They are bros in every lifetime!! And should go on Chidi/Danyin Changheng/Ronghao double dates!!!
Someone please talk about this with me.... tomorrow.
#also was very into the canon ships. i wanted to hold out forever for xiao lanhua/jieli and i still do love them#but FIRSTLY yes ok dongfang qingcang and his cheekbones and his childlike innocence hidden beneath Devil robes compelled me#SECONDLY when shangque started getting jealous of jieli for thinking another man was stupid#and yelled like 'i'm the stupidest one here!!!' or something to prove he was the man of her dreams. he won me over forever.#ronghao committing all the war crimes for 30k years just so he could see his shifu again also compelled me#he makes an A+ sadface#but i was even more compelled by his ambivalent love for changheng#and i just can't get over how much danyin can be shipped with every woman in the story#who would have guessed it when she was first introduced?#SO many terrifically fun things done with her character#ily qu shui#xiao run died for you and the narrative confirmed that love was DEEP BROTHERHOOD#DEEP BROTHERHOOD!!! not last inning romance like i expected#but just the truest brotherly love which was stronger than anything that mortal felt for fairies he'd been dreaming about but barely knew#ok i think if i tag rambled for this long if i tag this it won't show up in the tags... sorry to fairy devil connoisseurs if it does#sorry but also if YOU wanna talk to me about my important danyin feelings please do feel empowered#clj
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Autocorrect stop changing "Quirrel" to "Squirrel" challenge: Impossible.
#hollow knight#quirrel#i am writing a fanfic. i haven't written in years#i have 24k words written rn#does anyone still follow me from when i wrote fnaf fanfic in like 2019??#if so hi. also sorry. this will be absolutely nothing like my fnaf fics#i am writing in ~3rd person~ now instead of cringe second person POV#also this is a vent fic so it's just gonna be sad asf most the time then it will be hurt/comfort and recovery so like.#not even gonna post it to tumblr#but if you know my ao3 account you know#im not against giving it out i just think 0 people will want to read this#it's not up to my normal quality but if i made it my normal quality it would double in size to fix pacing issues#i'm doing lots of telling and not showing/dialogue because it needs to move faster#and not be a 100k burn of hurt and pain then slow recovery#instead it will probably be around 30k when i'm done#plus i feel so sick dwelling on the first of my 3 acts i can't stand to edit it anymore it's making me depressed#i have a like normal HK fic i started forever ago that's mostly just angst but I would be actually proud to share it if i finish#had to write a fight scene. realized idk how to write a fight scene. got writer's block and abandoned it. rip#also i do have a fnaf fic i want to finish eventually but it's soooo old rn#but it's super silly and fun
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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This fic writing thing is going great
#sobbing shaking throwing up I can't do this#how do people write 30k+ fics REGULARLY I feel like I'm performing open heart surgery on myself#this is still for serennedy#btw#fanfic#fanfiction#resident evil fanfiction#serennedy
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Think I’m gonna set myself a word limit for writing this month, instead of a set number of works. I’d like to improve on writing short-form stuff (especially angst and whump cause it’s fun) but between assignments, applications and the urge to draw I don’t want to burn out…
#I’ll set it high so it’s still a challenge… maybe like… 30k? 35k? i feel bad that I’m not sticking to the challenge but I struggle with jus#- barreling into scenes without setting up context and all of these keep turning into two-parters. I’m still having a blast though!!#it’s nice to finally just dump old ideas down onto paper (Google Docs app) it’s just hard to maintain a constant around assignments with#- midterms coming up lol. writing does take a lotta mental energy alas. and I need to scribble to replenish that energy.#but eh- I was never doing the ‘official’ challenge anyways just challenging myself. so! that’s the update!#I’ll still try to write like… 2-3 things every week though I don’t wanna lose momentum.
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i’m in the process of putting all my fics back on ao3 purely for ease of access and bc ffnet is what it is :o) it’s just gonna take a hot minute bc i want to reread everything + make edits before posting and idk how to shut up when i write lol
#dreading the chapter of the softening blows that’s over 30k words lmao#but i feel bad bc it isn’t anywhere online rn#also gathering the strength to reread a six sided infinity#just taking myself out w me own angst w/e#still very critical of ao3 but like.#feels like the best option atm and besides how sketchy ffnet is#all the ads in the middle of paragraphs isn’t it
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okay so. if you hang out with someone and it's 85% fine, but every once in a while they throw in a "you know that food you eat has palm oil" or "my career saves lives and therefore i don't care about the money i make" or "those urban parks you walk around aren't real nature". is it worth it to continue that friendship.
#it was. fine. bad. fine. bad.#i hung out with way too many of these people in college and im sick of it#the zero waste mindset damaged my mental health to the point where i still feel guilty over buying anything#i try to be conscious of my food. my purchases#i also do not have a bf making six figures to support me while i work $30K a year jobs for the park service#she brings out everything i am still self conscious over and i think that's why these hangs feel like pulling teeth#so i guess the answer is it's not worth it?#im a little drunk and upset#im burning the DESIGNATED SELF CARE CANDLE
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so apparently in order to "finish" my "wips" I have to "work" on them. it's in the name or something
#just have not been feeling the writing mood this year lads. doing my june spreadsheet to track writing and its like hmm... do i even bother#went back to my 2018 sheet and there are multiple months there when i got less than 15k done so like. quantity is still more than double!#i am getting at least 30k a month written. but feels bad when last year i got a minimum of 40k a month written#like yes that was in the throes of my obsession with cod ywan and after 2 yrs that has cooled... but still. would like to write still :')#browsing thru all my wips to get accurate stats for my spreadsheet like whyyyyy are there so manyyyyy#i have 175k of unposted codyw an. can i get some of that out there.#though like over 80k of that is one fic which needs another 50k probably. augh. and also a rewrite#because its the 3rd thing i ever wrote for that ship and I didn't know what it was about. 2 years later and 80k in I know what it's about#but would require major rewrites... like on one hand i could just ditch it. whatever. but it does have some nice snippets throughout#and the message is one I've been trying to get on paper for years and just augh#annoying. wanna post smth this weekend but have nothing near done...#personal
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Hey who wants to see me try to write two fics at once
#(some of my) tests are over and I'm feeling bold#also the guilt of promising to write fic and then not posting it greatly overrides the fear of making bad writing#and also there are ZERO. hadestown bway/nytw crossover fics on ao3 and ONE. vide noir (2022) fic. heartbreaking#so i have to fill the void somehow#the actual invitation to ao3 is coming on the eleventh (there are 30K people on the waitlist???) but still. prepare thyselves#rook roars!#i dont necessarily Like ao3 but it's the best i got
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1.9k words today.
got to Chapter 5 and finished the plot point I'm on. Hopefully the next points come easier.
Additionally, I've got 24.4k words in this novel and I'm on about 12 out of 22 plot points. So my word count isn't scaring me as much as it was about a week ago.
#progress report#pppttthhh#man I'm tired#yeah I thought I was going to finish this novel and have it right around 30k words#I was very nervouse about the amount of stuffing I was looking at adding to this project#but if I keep this up I'll be more in the neighborhood of 45k by the end#which is still too short but I feel like it'll give me more to work with and fill in#but to put it into perspective#most published fantasy novels will bottom out at 70k to 80k words#the companion story to this one#the book two to this book one that I've already written a first draft for#was 108.2k words#ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT THOUSAND#so yes#I am still nervous about this word count#because editing out feels way easier than editing in#🕸️
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"I'll be more normal about my writing goals in 2023" I said. Like a goddamn clown
#to be fair#word count goal wise this IS me being more normal about stuff#i have an entire month as a buffer!!#and this all assumes 30k words per month which is honestly on the low end for me#still tho like.... ttscu is Eva's Christmas gift (Christmas.... 2022) and it'll be done in.#fucking autumn probably like... pls#ANYWAY#pls feel free to laugh at me it keeps me humble and all that#mona rambles
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i’ll write nothing for months, then 5k per day
#rant#mejo writing#im working on my original story and#i should pass the 30k mark today. making it about 5k or more words written per day now that im back into it#and im going to ride this upswing as far as i can ;-;#i want to get to 60k by the end of april. which is possible maybe now#i'd like to get all the way to arc 4 or 5#im almost done writing arc 2. but the thing is. arc 3 is quite... big#so i feel like it will be a big thing to manage to finish it aaaaaa#i cant do naniwrimo for shit but once i got my mind set i can still write a fuckton#its just. i cant do imposed deadlines ToT
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