#i feel like my experience with these au plot bunnies

[yuesya]

i physically cannot express how much i love your writing, every random snippet, aus popping up, just makes me happy.

Thanks anon, glad you're enjoying the AU snippets!

[hannieween]

reverie | city lights series | h.js

Joshua Hong was many things aside from your hot neighbour—he was a menace, a relentless tease. But most importantly, he was the first guy to ever make you feel wanted. And you were yet to know how dangerous that was.

✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader ✮ genre: smut (18+) ✮ word count: 16.2k ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, neighbors with benefits

› part i — link to my other fics

›🎧: best lover - bibi | thirsty - taemin | crazy like you - chungha, bibi | poison - nct dream ♡︎

› smut tags under the cut

✮ warnings: alcohol use, dubcon: reader is drunk and joshua helps her change to pjs, smut with plot, big dick Joshua, dom Joshua, dirty talk, foul language, praise kink, somewhat inexperienced reader, multiple sex scenes, fingering (f. receiver), oral sex (f, m) guided blowjob, cum swallowing, protected sex, squirting, brat taming: bondage, orgasm control (f), use of toys and overstimulation (f), dumbification, multiple orgasms (f, m), pet names: baby, pretty girl, princess, sweetheart, bunny (hers)

part ii

"Zero survival instincts," Yen scoffed, "None. Out the window."

"Yen, I'm fine," you insisted. "Nothing bad happened."

She sent you an irritated look. "What if he was a serial killer?"

You rolled your eyes. "He's not, Yen. He's just my neighbor."

"Are you serious right now?" she asked. "The least you could've done was sending me a text: 'hey yen, i'm inviting my neighbour over to fuck me into the next day, don't worry, he's not going to turn me into jerky'."

You laughed at the crude language, your best friend simulating typing on an imaginary phone.

"Shhh, keep it down, Yen," you muttered when you saw people from the tables around you glance at you.

Sitting at a cozy table for two in a charming bar, the atmosphere around him was quiet, with the soft glow of candlelight. The surrounding tables were occupied by couples, either engaged in a romantic conversation or trying to start one.

In the quiet atmosphere, your table stood out as the noisy one, occupied by two women who were indulging in the warmth of alcohol and pastries.

And, truth be told, were quite drunk on red wine.

"If he killed you at least I'd have something to tell the police," she continued with another roll of her eyes.

"But he didn't kill me. We just had sex, that's it."

She looked around your table, and suddenly you could sense that she was really invested. "How was it, then?"

You felt a sudden twinge in the apex of your thighs from just the memory of your last.

"It was so good," you sighed, and leaned on the table. "It was really really good, Yen. The best I had in my life, I think. Yeah, definitely."

"Wow, damn," she muttered, a sly grin appearing on her round face. "Not gonna lie. I'm jealous."

You chuckled. "I'm actually kind of surprised that he accepted, though," your brow furrowed, feeling your cheeks grow hotter in the mixture of being drunk and flustered at the memory. "He is so hot, Yen. Like really, really hot."

"Okay, okay. I believe you," she scoffed. "You know, when I told you to commit to writing sex scenes, I didn't mean to go methodical," she gave you a look and then smiled slyly again.

"What, I felt like I needed to experience the real thing before writing pages about it," you shrugged.

"That's a lame excuse," she said as she swirled her wine glass in the air.

"I think it's working," you leaned your cheek against your palm, your elbow propped up on the table.

"Oh, oh. Can I read the product of your little adventure?" her eyes widened.

"God, no," you recoiled at the thought. "This is just for... inspiration. There's still a lot of things I want to try before finishing the manuscript."

"What—wait a minute," she held up her hand. "Are you going to keep seeing him?"

You blinked. "Yeah, I didn't tell you?" your brow furrowed.

"Do you mean to tell me that you'll be fucking your neighbour until you finish the manuscript?!"

"Yen, it's fine," you shushed. "It's just sex. There's nothing to worry about."

Nothing to worry about. Except there was hardly anything that could take your mind off the memory.

As you walked to the interior of your building after being dropped off by Yen, all you could keep thinking was to knock on his door. Just go, knock and he'd know. That was your deal.

You have been wanting to do that all week. But you were reluctant about it because you didn't want to come across as needy.

It was now Wednesday, three nights after that night with Joshua. You had slept together, and in the following morning he left.

You stumbled out of the elevator and into the hallway, feeling so tipsy that you almost took a full minute to be certain of which of the doors led to your apartment.

The device on your door was a smart-lock that simply functioned as a key. You didn't bring your keys, so you entered your six number combination.

The beeping noise from the smart-lock of your door indicated that you had only two more attempts left before being locked out of your apartment for the next hour.

You hummed, attempting to keep steady, but couldn't ignore the gentle sway of your body from side to side. Biting your lower lip, you struggled to concentrate, but the effects of the wine bottle were swiftly taking hold.

With a click of your tongue, you stepped back to double check you were standing in front of your door. You were.

"C'mon. You can do this," you hissed to yourself as you tried to enter the combination of your smart lock.

Beep beep. Wrong again.

One attempt left.

"What," you whispered to your lock again.

You tried to rest your head on your door for more stability, but when your forehead landed a loud thud resounded on the hallway.

"Ow," you winced.

Maybe you should ask for help.

No. You can do this. Is a simple stupid lock.

The sound coming from the door next to yours startled you. But you made no attempt to move your forehead from your door, expecting to see either Joshua or his roommate, the latter you haven't met yet.

But the sweet voice calling your name from the next door made you want to sink into the ground and never be seen again.

Joshua doesn't need to see you like this, you said to yourself.

"Are you okay?" Joshua asked, and you jolted to find him next to you, his eyes examining your drowsy ones.

"Um, I can't enter my combination," you mumbled as one of your hands pushed the hair from your face.

"You're drunk," he realized then, his fingers taking your chin for his eyes to survey you, a small smile appearing on his lips. "What did you have?"

Your cheeks were already flushed from the wine, but you could swear a different kind of warmth started burning beneath your skin the exact moment he touched you.

Before you could answer to his question, you take a brief look at him. Joshua wore an oversized gray plaid shirt, a black t-shirt underneath, and light gray sweatpants. A cap adorned his head, hiding his dark hair. You came to the conclusion that, whatever he was wearing, he would no doubt look hot.

Your mouth went dry. "Jus' a bottle of wine," you muttered, trying to brush off his hand but not succeeding.

"D'you have your keys?" he said as you drunkenly tried to enter your combination to no avail. His large hand swatted yours before you could enter any numbers on the pad.

"Keys," you repeated. "Don't think so."

"Let me help you before you lock yourself out," he hushed with his cute smile. "Tell me your combination."

The combination to your smart lock escaped your lips, trusting him with it completely without a second thought. He entered the combination and the lock beeped again, the small light blinking green.

"There you go," he muttered.

"Thank you," you whispered, pushing your door open and turning around to see his face one last time before going to bed.

You opened your mouth, feeling a strange tickling under your skin as you faced him.

"I uh..."

When no other words came out, Joshua smiled softly with a sigh and entered your apartment with you.

"Come on, princess. I'll take you to bed," he muttered and closed the door behind him, taking your hand gently and pulling you to the interior of your apartment.

"Mmkay," you cooed, letting him drag you to your bedroom.

In the darkness of your apartment, you saw him dressed in a way that was atypical of his usual style, almost as if he had thrown on whatever he found first–

"You look cute with a cap," you blurted before you could even stop yourself.

"You think so, princess?" he replied and took his cap off to put it on your head. "You look cute too."

A giggle bubbled up in your chest. "Caps make m'ears look bigger," you slurred.

As you entered your bedroom, you removed the cap from your head and, at the same time, stumbled upon a pile of forgotten clothes scattered on the floor. You vaguely remembered throwing them aside while you were looking for something to wear for tonight.

"Careful," he mumbled, catching you before you hit the ground. "You're tripping with those big ears of yours, bunny."

You burst into high-pitched laughter, which resembled a kid's. As if you had just heard the funniest joke. Joshua smiled as he heard you, an endearing expression on his face.

It made you feel fuzzy inside.

"Why did you drink tonight? What was the occasion, I mean," he asked as he helped you sit on your bed.

He crouched before you and started removing your shoes. Every action was carefully done, nothing was rushed, everything was carried out with delicacy.

"I went out with my best friend to this really fancy bar," you told him with an air of contentment.

"What's your friend's name?" he asked almost a second later.

Then, in the back of your mind where you still had some lucidity, you gathered that he was trying to keep you fully awake as he helped you climb your high bed.

"Yen, Yena," you mumbled.

With a sudden movement, your body fell back against the soft mattress and you gasped. Your head spun rapidly and the rush that ran through your body caused you to giggle.

"Careful there," he cautioned, just as he was taking your socks off. You could also hear him laughing a bit.

"Are you laughing at me?" you whined, your hands instinctively covering your warm cheeks as giggles continued to escape.

"I would never, princess. You're cute when you're drunk," he replied simply.

"Mmm, you don't think I'm ridiculous?" your voice was muffled by the hands burying your face.

"Why would I think that?" you heard him ask.

"Dunno," you mumbled sheepishly. "'m really drunk, J'shua," you slurred.

"I know, bunny," he chuckled. "Where are your pjs?"

You slowly uncovered your face to see him standing before your bed.

"Second drawer," you replied pointing to the drawers next to your bed, feeling your cheeks blaze.

There was no real reason to feel this shy, considering that Joshua had already seen every inch of your naked body. But the idea of him taking care of you took on new meaning in your mind. It made you feel closer to him.

"Oooh, what do we have here?" he said with a cheeky grin.

Then he pulled a pink lace thong, holding it up in the air with his fingers.

"Joshua!" you gasped. "That's not the second drawer!"

He giggled playfully. "Oops, my bad," he said, but continued rummaging on your stuff, pulling out a see-through mesh red bra. "This is really nice, bunny. Will you wear it next time for me?"

You groaned helplessly, but before you could come up with a quippy response, his eyes widened in surprise.

"Princess, you didn't tell me you had toys," he said with a surprised tone, dropping the playful act.

"Stop," you whined with a laugh and turned to crawl across your large bed toward him.

Before you could even make it to the other side of your bed, you stumbled and your face collided with the mattress, making you erupt into uncontrollable laughter.

You heard his genuine laugh resonate through the room, causing a flutter in your stomach, followed by the muffled noise of the drawer shutting close.

"Alright, alright. Time for bed," he announced, and a hand gently flipped you on the mattress. He sat on the edge of the bed next to your body. "I'm going to take your top off, okay?"

You nodded a little too eagerly, and that made him smile with a shake of his head.

"Now don't get any ideas, sweetheart," he said.

Then his hands grabbed the hem of the cute top you wore to your date with your best friend.

As the top came off and you were left under his gaze, you felt as if your whole skin was on fire, every inch tingling with an overwhelming sensation.

But he remained silent. You tried to make out the expression on Joshua's face, while he was deeply focused on his task, giving no signals that he wanted to do more with your body.

"Bra on or off?" he asked softly.

"Off," you whispered, feeling a sudden impatience take over your mind and body despite the effects from the wine still strumming on your ears.

"Kay," he replied in the same tone. "Arch your–"

You instantly arched your back for him before he could even finish the sentence. His eyes examined your face again with a hint of curiosity. 

"I'm starting to think you're enjoying this, princess," he said with a cheeky smile.

When a hand slid behind your back, it was then that you realized he was keeping his touch on your skin at a minimum. Joshua unclasped the pretty bra you wore, his fingers removing the straps from your shoulders without touching your skin.

Something sparked in you when his gaze wandered over your naked skin. Darkened eyes marveled at your tits as your nipples hardened from the bite of cool air and the skin around them bumped helplessly.

A small silent whine bubbled in your chest, your whole body tingling, needing to be sated by his touch. You gulped hard. He noticed.

"Do you want me to continue?" he asked with a gentle tone, so low you barely heard it above the buzzing in your eardrums.

"Yes," you whispered eagerly, looking at his eyes. "I trust you, Joshua."

At that, Joshua stopped and contemplated you. The momentary silence made you wonder if you had said something wrong, and you waited for his response.

But he just booped the tip of your nose.

"Sit up," he commanded with his sweet voice.

He extended his hands out to you to help you reincorporate in your bed so that he could put the top of your pyjamas on your body.

When you lay back on the soft covers of your bed, a sigh came out of you, revealing all the emotions that were bubbling up in your chest.

But Joshua interpreted it differently.

"Don't fall asleep yet. I need you awake for this," he urged with his sweet voice.

For a moment you thought that maybe you looked way too drunk. Perhaps, you felt better than you looked: the sluggishness of your limbs with every movement you made, the heavy eyelids, the clumsy tingling in your cheeks and mouth every time you spoke: all symptoms caused by the wine.

"I'm not sleeping," you said as you blinked slowly.

"Good girl," he muttered.

But the rest of your body was ablaze, desperate for his touch. You inhaled deeply, trying to fill your chest with something other than the desperate need for him.

The room was spinning. Was it spinning a minute ago? Who knows.

"I feel dizzy," you mumbled in a whiny tone.

"Hang on, princess. I'm almost done, okay?" he instructed. Still, you could hear that warmth in his voice. 

With careful fingers, he undid the zipper and button of your pants. You lifted your hips from the bed for him to slide them down your legs effortlessly.

Joshua was piling your clothes carefully on the foot of the bed, you noticed. He folded your pants in half and when he turned to you, he surveyed the lower half of your body, partially naked before him.

His darkened eyes found yours, an unspoken question written in them.

"Off," you whispered before he could ask.

A heavy sigh left him.

"Eyes on me, baby," he instructed again.

Then he removed your white lace thong, with so much care that his fingers didn't even graze your skin. He didn't skip a beat when he was already grabbing the matching bottoms of your bunny pyjamas, sliding them up your legs.

You smiled contently and made a move to sit up on the bed. "Need to wash," you muttered suddenly.

He smiled at the clumsiness to which you lowered yourself to the floor. "C'mon," he extended his hands to you and when you stood, you stumbled backwards a bit.

With his strong hands he helped you get to the bathroom without staggering and stood outside the door in case you needed help with anything, but still giving you the privacy to tend to your needs.

Afterwards, Joshua helped you to get under the sheets and covers of the bed, tucking you in, and then he bent down and placed a sweet kiss on your forehead.

"Such a gentleman," you cooed with a weak smile.

"Here to help," he replied with a pressed smile. "Sleep now, princess. I'll see you tomorrow, m'kay?"

You reached for his hand before he could distance himself any further, stopping him in his tracks.

"Don't go," you mumbled.

He sat back down slowly and placed his hand on your tummy, the mere weight of his hand and the warmth seeping through the fabric of your pyjamas made you repress a whine.

"Sleep with me?" you slurred, clenching the hand that was still clasped by yours.

"You're drunk, sweetheart. I'll come by tomorrow," he said and patted your tummy softly.

"Please? I promise I won't try anything," you mumbled.

You felt your eyes involuntarily welling up a little. You knew it was partly due to the effects of alcohol, yet you also suspected it was because of the emotions you'd been accumulating over the past couple of days.

Looking conflicted, a small guttural groan escaped him.

"Fine," he groaned in defeat.

A smile of victory crept up your face as you did what he asked. He stood from your bed to remove his shoes and the grey shirt he was wearing. You watched him carefully place his stuff on the armchair in the corner of your bedroom.

He lay down beside you under the sheets, approaching you cautiously.

"How do you feel?" he mumbled.

"Better," you sighed softly.

"Still dizzy?" he asked, his eyes hopeful.

"Mm nope," you mumbled, 

Eyeing him shyly, you scooted toward his body and nuzzled softly on the side of his shoulder, feeling his warmth.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Joshua," you said as the scent of his cologne invaded your already overwhelmed senses.

An arm slid beneath your body, pulling you closer to his chest.

"Don't mention it," he replied.

"I didn't ruin any plans, right?" your head snapped back to look at him.

His fingers trailed on the side of your arm, causing goosebumps on your skin at their wake.

"Not really, no," he hummed. "I was thinking about you, actually."

"You were?" you asked in an embarrassingly high pitch tone.

"I wanted to see you, princess," he cooed, moving his head on the pillows to look you in the eye.

A flutter in your stomach took your focus away. Joshua wanted to see you. The way he made it sound was almost as if he missed you.

"Was thinking of knocking on your door."

Oh.

That had an entirely different meaning. Knocking on your door would mean that he wanted to have sex with you.

"You..." you mumbled awkwardly. "D'you still want to?"

Something shifted in your brain. He might have just missed your body, but it was still enough to rouse something within you. The alcohol offered little help, but instead intensified your body's every reaction.

The tingling in your face, the rush of warmth that washed through you, pooling between your legs.

"Definitely not, princess," he laughed softly, putting your ideas to rest. "I won't touch you like this," he finalized sternly.

You let out a whine that sounded more like a childish cry, burying your face in his chest and sighing in frustration.

"It's bad manners to have sex with people who are not sober, baby," he explained, his tone was not condescending, but almost sweet or caring.

"But what if I want to, Joshua," you mumbled, your flushed face still buried in the warmth of his hard chest.

"I'm not going to fuck you no matter how much you beg," he said with a small chuckle.

"But I wan' you to," you whined against his chest.

You were so close to his chest that you felt the strumming of his heart, heard the small sigh leave his body. Your fist scrunched up on his t-shirt.

"You told me you wouldn't try anything, princess," he reminded you sternly.

Joshua took the hand that has balled into a fist, grabbing on his shirt and laced his fingers with yours in an attempt to soothe you.

"Mm, it's jus'—I need you," you mumbled, sneaking a glance in his eyes.

"I'm here, bunny," he muttered softly.

"But I've been wanting to see you all week," you said with a sigh.

Your face grew hotter on your drunken confessions, but you forced yourself to make eye contact with him despite the daze from the wine.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked while the hand that grabbed yours played with your fingers.

"I didn't want you to think I'm needy," you mumbled sheepishly, still trying to hold eye contact, but your eyes were shifty. 

"What?" he asked with a feigned tone of surprise. "I thought we had already established the other night that you're needy. Like, really needy," he laughed.

You scoffed and hid your flushed face on his hard chest again, but he pulled back, his fingers on your chin forcing you to face him.

"I'm only joking, princess," he smiled reassuringly. "Whenever you want to you can let me know."

You opened your mouth but before you could protest, he added:

"As long as you're sober."

You let out a bashful sniffle and pouted.

"Tell you what: if you go to sleep now, I'll give you whatever you want tomorrow. How about that?" he asked, looking down to find your eyes, he let go of your hand and stroked the side of your face softly.

Your eyelids fluttered under his touch. "Whatever I want?" you asked, looking at his rosy lips and then his eyes.

"That's right, baby. Whatever you want," he conceded.

"Mmkay," you mumbled.

You relaxed in his embrace, letting go of your demands at that very moment.

"Good girl," he muttered, pressing his lips on your forehead for a long second before resting his head on the pillow next to yours.

Your cheeks flushed and a fluttering sensation invaded your chest.

"G'night, Joshua," you mumbled a second before you closed your eyes and fell asleep.

The following morning, you woke up to a headache drilling in the back of your head.

You groaned in pain, ears ringing as you opened your eyes to only wince in pain at the faint morning light filtering through the parted door of your otherwise blackout dark bedroom.

Still drowsy you looked to the other side of your bed to find Joshua asleep.

Your breath hitched at the sudden invasion of memories—you had partially forgotten that Joshua had spent the night in your bed with you again.

He was lying on his side, an arm extended to your direction. You had the faint memory of him hugging you close to his frame, so perhaps you fell out of his embrace during the night. 

Joshua's features looked relaxed, peaceful even. His flush lips pursed softly as he swallowed and nuzzled the pillow. The way he looked so cute and innocent made you smile a little. 

With every movement you took, your body protested in pain. But you hurried yourself to the bathroom, taking the time to properly wash and refresh yourself to recover from your hangover.

Under the warm stream of the shower, you mentally retraced the events of the night. The drunken confessions that spilled from your mouth. Joshua's careful hands changing your clothes and helping you to bed.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as soon as he saw you come back to your bedroom, your body wrapped in a bath towel.

He was still lying on his side, but something told you that he woke up the second he heard you leave the bedroom.

"I just have a light headache but I'll be fine," you assured him.

His hand, which was still extended in the same way as when you left, patted the space you occupied during the night.

"Come here," he muttered.

With a sigh that denoted your nervousness, you walked toward your bed and climbed next to him over the covers. You lay on your side, facing him, propping your head on your hand, your elbow on the pillow next to his.

"D'you remember what happened last night? Why I'm here?" he asked, his voice still groggy, but it sounded soft.

"It's not like I was black out drunk," you smiled. "I remember everything, Joshua."

"Jus' wanted to make sure," he whispered.

With a small nod of his head, his eyelids closed slowly and he seemed to dozed off again. His chest rising and falling heavily, his face relaxing to his lips parting a little.

You took a moment to appreciate his beauty before jumping down from your bed, darting your eyes toward the man lying on your bed—to find him asleep.

Then you unwrapped the towel that covered your body. Careful not to make a sound, you busied yourself moisturizing your skin while you cast a few glances at him, making sure he was asleep.

But a few seconds later, you noticed him stir in your bedsheets, his eyelids fluttering slowly as he found you standing before your bed, wholly naked.

Your breath hitched, but curiosity sparked within you when his eyes surveyed your whole body from top to bottom.

Attempting to ignore that he kept his gaze trained on your frame, you busied yourself on looking for something to wear.

"Don't get dressed," he muttered softly when he saw you rummage through your drawers.

You darted a look at him. His sleepy eyes on you, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Or do, I don't care. Just come back here," he sighed sluggishly, patting the side of the bed again.

You smiled shyly and climbed back to the spot you had taken a few minutes ago. You slid beneath the bed sheets, next to his warm body.

"You talk in your sleep," he hummed.

Then his hands grabbed you by the hips, with a sharp pull his chest was now pressing on yours, his arms encircling your naked body tightly to snuggle you as if he wanted to sleep again.

It was a sweet embrace, almost too intimate. A part of you couldn't deny you liked it—being this close to Joshua. You grabbed him by the shoulders, uneasy of being fully naked in his tight embrace.

"I–uh I didn't know," you whispered, your heart strumming so hard that you could almost sense that Joshua could feel it against his chest.

Truth be told, Joshua was the first man you had ever slept with. He wasn't your first sexual partner, that much was already disclosed with him—you've had a couple of other partners in the past, but none of them were memorable to even matter.

Joshua was the first to make you feel real pleasure, the first to make you orgasm, to make you feel wanted.

And you were yet to know how dangerous that is.

"What did I say?" you asked reluctantly.

He took a breath, as if remembering and then he let out a breathy laugh. "Bunch of nothings, but you went for hours."

"Oh god," you groaned. "I'm so sorry, Joshua."

"You didn't talk that much the other night," he paused. "But maybe you were too tired the other night to even speak, right princess?"

Your stomach jolted a bit.

"Mmm-mmph. So tired," you agreed despite the growing flush in your face. "Last night's ramble wouldn't have happened if I was tired too."

"Oh, bunny. You think you're so slick. But you're so bratty," he cooed mockingly as his hands explored your bare back, his fingers sinking in the skin of your hips.

"What are you going to do about it?" you asked through a breathy mumble when his hands caused your heart to race.

"Nothing," he stated softly.

A long silence happened between you and Joshua. You almost thought that he might have dozed off yet again, but when you pulled from his embrace, he was grinning menacingly.

"But you promised–"

"I never promised anything," his brow furrowed. "When have you ever heard me say the words 'I promise'? Never."

A frustrated groan came out from you before you could stop it.

"You told me you would do anything I asked today!" you whined, feeling ashamed by his game.

"See, I never promised," he cooed again.

"But you said–"

"And I will do it, sweetheart," he cut in. "But I never specified at what time of the day I'll do it."

"Joshua!" you whined again, feeling the need to cover your flushed face.

He laughed merrily, he was enjoying this.

"I didn't bring condoms," he muttered, dropping the playful smile.

Your eyes narrowed. "You're lying."

"It's true," he put in simply. "Someone went through all of them the other night and I haven't bought more," he emphasized with a cheeky grin, he even shrugged slightly looking as if he enjoyed torturing you.

Which, he probably did.

You were a split second away to throw all away and beg him to fuck you raw. But the last thread of sanity you still preserved in your mind stopped you.

"I forgot to ask," he said suddenly. "Have you made your list?"

You stilled and looked away embarrassed. "Um, I've thought of some things."

"Like what? Maybe we could do something tonight," he replied.

In reality you haven't gotten around making a list of things you want to try in bed with him. Your mind only ends up wandering in sex fantasies of what you'd do and never actually write something down.

"I have some ideas, but I don't know yet," you mumbled sheepishly, darting a shifty glance up his eyes.

The pierced eyebrow arched up. "I'm listening."

A smile appeared on your lips. "You're taking this really seriously," you pointed.

"Of course," he frowned, pretending to be offended. "I want to help my neighbor with her book."

You rolled your eyes with a smile.

"Besides, it's not like I get to do this everyday," he paused. "Well, unless you let me," he muttered, tilting his head forward.

"What?" you asked in a gasp. "Like you don't have people throwing themselves at you at any chance they get."

"Only my pretty neighbors," he chuckled and you playfully slapped his shoulder.

"Seriously, Joshua. You don't get a lot of groupies or whatever?"

He scoffed loudly. "Groupies. What are you, a sixty year old lady in disguise?"

"You know what I mean," you mumbled, starting to feel deeply embarrassed.

"Not really, princess. It's not what you think. I can show you if you want. Tonight," he suggested in a low tone.

The features of his face had hardened, denoting that he was more serious now.

"Tonight?"

"Only if you want to, of course," he shrugged, and you could tell from his tone, the lack of warmth and playfulness that he seemed to be detached.

"I'd love to," you replied and his face relaxed. Was he expecting you to say no?

"Kay," his lips pressed in a smile. "I'll come later to pick you up. And after that we can get into your list, deal?"

"Deal," you smiled shyly, not wanting to express the full excitedness you felt.

You noticed that every time he smiled contently, two dimples appeared crowning his mouth. Joshua sighed and then he cupped your chin with his hand, surveying your face for a moment.

"How's your head, still hurting?" he asked, his other arm still pulling you close to his frame.

"A bit. I'm fine, Joshua. Don't worry," you gave him a small reassuring smile.

"Kay," he whispered and pressed his lips on your forehead just like he did before you fell asleep in his arms.

You felt his lips relax on your forehead but he didn't pull away, his other hand returned to its original place on your waist. You assumed that he was dozing off again, and your suspicions turned correct when his breathing gained more depth.

Then you let yourself be absorbed in his embrace and your hands moved from his shoulders to his hard chest over his t-shirt. You felt the soft thumping of his heart, the slow rhythm of his breathing.

Your eyes darted to his face. He was asleep.

The hem of his shirt hung loose over his collarbones, you felt his soft and warm skin under your fingertips, lost in thought of him. Drinking the sweet scent of his skin and clothes.

Your fingers then wandered from his collarbones to his neck, his Adam's apple bobbed as the pads of your fingers touched it carefully.

But then a larger hand seized yours, pulling your arm above your head as his body pushed your body flat on the bed with a groan. The other hand was seized as well, thus pinning your wrists above your head.

A yelp bubbled in your chest, but when you felt his hard body pressing yours against the bed your curious eyes glanced up to see his face.

But before you could say something, your mouth was clasped with his with a chaste kiss.

"You're handsy," he muttered gruffly on your lips.

The grip on your wrists tightened a bit when Joshua dipped his head on the crook of your neck where he pressed his lips on your skin, to then nibble at your skin with his teeth.

"I wanted to wait 'til tonight but you're so needy. Such an impatient pretty girl," he grunted as his hand grabbed your wrists pressed down on the pillows, making you yelp and squirm.

Being somewhat restrained made you feel restless, but you made no attempt to break free, since you were quickly subdued by the feeling of his breath on the crook of your neck.

"'m sorry," you mumbled just as he started placing wet kisses on your collarbone, making his way to your tits.

"Are you, baby?" he asked, and your eyes fell on his. His pierced eyebrow cocked slightly. "I don't think you're sorry at all."

He let go of your wrists just so he could cup your breasts with his hands and before you could muster a response, he wrapped his mouth on one of your nipples, making you cry out instead.

The feeling of having his hot mouth around your nipple made you shiver, the whole area covered by his tongue and drool felt tingling and ablaze.

Hearing the non-verbal response you made, he moved his mouth to do the same with your other hardened nipple, licking and nibbling at it softly with his teeth. He hummed while doing so, as if he liked the taste of your skin on his mouth.

Your hands quickly grabbed at whatever was nearest, fingers landing on his head as you squirmed and moaned helplessly on your bedsheets. 

He pressed his lips down your sternum and he lowered himself to your belly, his hands parting your legs so he could place his body between them and continue kissing and licking your skin.

"Please-" you whispered as you writhe in pleasure under the touch of his lips.

"Please, what?" he asked as he raised his head to look at you. "What do you want, princess?"

"Do whatever you want, just-" you gulped suddenly. "I need you, Joshua. I've waited all week."

His eyes searched yours, just like he did last night when you were drunk.

"Please," you whispered and that apparently did it for him.

He lowered himself pressing wet kisses on your lower abdomen as his mouth reached between your legs, his eyes darted a look toward yours before his fingers parted your pussy lips carefully, earning a high keen moan from you.

"Fuck. You're dripping," he muttered gruffly as his finger swiped a line on your cunt, making you flinch and moan pathetically. "Practically wetting the bed."

Then his tongue dipped between your parted lips, slowly licking a stripe on your wet folds. You let out a loud moan, grabbing a handful of black hair, making him hum softly when you tugged at it.

Joshua wasn't looking for you to say something, because he quickly continued making out with your clit. You were practically crying out of pleasure when you felt his mouth working on the swollen bud, tugging at it with his lips every time he closed his mouth around it.

You felt your legs shake a bit under the building tension but you didn't budge. A faint voice inside you reminded you to relax, to focus on his mouth kissing your cunt, his tongue swirling around your clit and trailing down to drink you in with a moan.

His hands slid underneath your body and cupped your ass, pushing you up to his face, essentially burying his face between your legs. Joshua's mouth flatly pressed on your cunt as if he were thirsty, ravaging you and humming as he did it.

Then his tongue pressed on your clit, his lips encircling it whole as his cheeks hollowed out, sucking on the throbbing bud. You arched your back, crying out loudly at the feeling of being so close to your release.

"I'm close, so close, Joshua," you whimpered, eliciting a groan from him.

You looked down where his head was nuzzled between your legs and the sight was so fucking good that something in your brain shifted. His dark eyes found yours, and you completely came undone.

The tension in your body snapped, sending waves of pleasure, making your limbs grow numb. You called out his name weakly, your eyes screwing shut at the mercy of the waves seizing your body, making you twitch and gasp in short breaths.

Joshua was moaning just from making you cum. And that could probably send you to the edge again if it wasn't for the new feeling of one of his fingers inside you.

You blinked, feeling dazed and you found Joshua on his knees, his finger plunging in and out of your sopping walls, massaging them gently.

"You liked that, baby?" he asked at the same time he slipped another finger in.

"Yeah," you whimpered. "I've been wanting this for days."

His pierced eyebrow arched up.  "This would have happened sooner if you knocked on my door," he smiled fondly. "But I like that about you—too shy to go knock on my door, but not to ask me to fuck you senseless."

You whined at the same moment his fingers crooked inside you, exploring, looking for your g-spot with the tips of his fingers.

"You like it when I talk to you, right? Your pussy squeezes my fingers whenever I do," he mentioned with a grin.

As if to prove his point, your walls fluttered around his fingers and he chuckled.

"Oh, princess. You're perfect," he muttered gruffly, leaning his body to plant a chaste kiss on your lips.

"God, Joshua," you whimpered, the tension between your legs building up again.

"You wanna cum again, baby?" he asked, grazing your lower lip with his teeth before kissing you chastely.

"Yes. So bad," you groaned, wiggling your hips to get more from his fingers.

"Can you cum on my fingers? Or do you want my mouth too?" he asked, his fingers teasing your cunt, making you feel the drag of his knuckles inside you as he pulled his fingers out and in, making squelching sounds every time he moved his hand inside you.

"Yes, please! I want your mouth too," you whimpered desperately.

His smile was the last thing you saw before he lowered himself between your legs and immediately attached his mouth to your clit. Joshua continued fucking you with his fingers, crooking them to find your g-spot.

"Joshua!" you cried out, your body twitching uncontrollably in your bed. "I'm gonna come, I'm ah-"

Now with his mouth and fingers, the pleasure in your pussy was so much more intense, practically tearing your orgasm out of you as you cried out.

Ragged breaths came out from your mouth, blinking tears weakly as your orgasm sizzled under your skin. Joshua's fingers stopped when he felt your walls relax and slipped out of your sopping core, making you shudder at the emptiness.

Then you were being showered with kisses on your face. You laughed meekly as his lips pressed on yours.

"You're being spoiled, princess," he teased. "Was planning on waiting to make you come until tonight but you're so greedy."

"Mm'm sorry," you muttered weakly.

"Sorry for what?" he asked.

"Dunno," you giggled.

"Are you fucked out already, bunny?" he smiled sweetly at you. "But I haven't even given you my cock yet."

You whimpered and reached for his lips, kissing him sloppily. A moan coiled in your chest when you tasted yourself on his tongue and lips.

Joshua stopped and looked at you with a pleased smile on his face, and a finger caressed your flushed cheek fondly, only to dip his head to kiss you again.

"God. You're so pretty, so fucking hard to resist," he grunted in your lips.

You whined and your hands cupped his face to slot your lips in his. "Please don't," you whispered, your lips grazing with his. "I want more, Joshua. I want you."

His eyes lingered on yours and you could almost see when it clicked in his mind.

"You want me to fuck you raw," he asked with a low tone.

A shiver ran down your spine when you heard his words.

You nodded, biting your lip so Joshua wouldn't notice that you were practically salivating at the thought.

The corner of his lips twitched. "You already came twice."

"But I want you, Joshua. I want to feel you inside me," you whispered, still writhing from your high.

The glint in his darkened eyes made you think that he enjoyed this. Whatever this was: your sanity slipping away at the mercy of Joshua pleasuring you, doing everything you needed from him.

"I can't fuck you raw, bunny," he muttered, pressing his lips sweetly on yours as you whined in his mouth. "It's too dangerous."

You understood that you were clawing at a limit of his, so you backed down. "Okay," you whispered.

"Good girl," he said as his lips captured yours in a heated kiss.

He slumped his body next to you on your bedsheets, resting his head on his hand as the other started caressing your skin affectionately.

"Joshua?" you called. 

"Mm?" he hummed as he appeared to be deep in thought, tracing invisible circles around your belly button.

"Can I-" you sighed when the tip of his pointer finger traced back to one of your nipples.

"Yes?" he asked, smiling when your nipple hardened and then he did the same with your other nipple.

"Can I touch you?" you whispered.

"You don't have to ask," he muttered with a small smile.

The pleased smile that spread on your lips made him chuckle.

You eagerly grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and Joshua understood immediately, sitting up on the bed and took his t-shirt off in one swift motion.

You sat up on your bed sheets—thus realizing that Joshua wasn't exaggerating when he said you were wetting the bed. You ignored the wet stain on your sheets and hooked the waistband of his sweatpants on your fingers.

"Do you want me naked, sweetheart?" he asked, noticing your struggle to undress him.

"Yeah," you breathed, looking at him expectantly.

He climbed down the bed to pull down the sweatpants, he did it efficiently, without making it a show for you but he still looked really attractive while doing so; his strong thighs stepping out of his sweat pants to reveal his hardened length still inside his underwear.

Suddenly you had other plans. You followed him, standing in front of him as he tilted his head to the side. Your fingers tugged at the band of his black underwear, taking it off of him to reveal his fully hard cock.

Then you lowered yourself to your knees.

"I wanna suck you off," you explained shyly, feeling your core pulsate to the mere act of you being on your knees for him.

His fingers grazed your chin. "Have you done this before?" he asked with a low tone.

You shook your head silently, eyeing him and his cock in front of you. Your hands caressed his strong thighs, trailing up to his hips. You realized then that you didn't touch him like this the other night.

One of your hands grabbed his cock at the base, stroking the soft skin of the length to his wet reddened cockhead. It was large and thick, and it leaned to the side a bit. You rubbed your thumb on the slit, feeling his precum leak on the pad of your thumb.

You glanced up at his dark eyes as you took the wet thumb to your mouth, licking his precum.

His breath hitched noticeably.

"I'll tell you what to do," he nodded, then he cupped your cheek, a serious look on his face. "You can stop if you don't like any of it, m'kay?" he muttered.

You wet your lips and nodded. "Okay," you whispered.

"Open your mouth," he instructed gently. You parted your lips and took the bulbous head of his cock and hesitantly placed it in your tongue.

His cock was too big for you to take him deeper, but you experimentally, and almost instinctively, relaxed your tongue under the weight of his heavy cock, wrapping your mouth around the half of the length.

"Breathe through your nose and move your head forward," he muttered and you did so, pushing your mouth on the length of his cock.

"Then back. You don't have to take me all," he instructed, his hands pushing your hair back from your face, caressing your face with his thumbs in the process. 

Whatever he instructed, you carried out without a second thought.

"Good girl," he whispered. 

Hearing him like this only pushed you to focus, despite the throbbing ache between your legs demanding for equal attention.

You discovered then that you liked the act of you taking his cock in your mouth on your knees for him. The walls of your core fluttered and you knew you were getting wetter as you started bobbing your head back and forth just like he instructed.

"That's it, baby. Just glide your pretty mouth on my cock. Fuck, it feels so good, so fucking good," he groaned.

Slurping sounds came from your lips around his thick cock as you picked up your pace. You darted a look up.

When your eyes met, the corner of his mouth curved up. "You look so good with my cock stuffed in your pretty mouth like this," he muttered, his thumb caressing your cheek.

A whimper coiled in your throat that otherwise would have escaped your lips if his cock wasn't stuffed so deep in your mouth. His cockhead was almost gagging you, hitting the back of your mouth every time you tried to push him further.

Drool trailed from the corners of your mouth. You wiped a side with the back of your hand but Joshua quickly stopped you in the middle of it.

"Don't. I like the way it looks," he mumbled, taking your hand to grab at his thigh again.

That made you take mental notes of everything he liked, every reaction you earned you kept in the back of your head. You wanted to pleasure him as best as you could, you made it your goal to earn more pretty sounds and moans.

He shuddered. "Fuuuuck," he groaned faintly again, his voice raspy and guttural.

You glanced up back at him, an idea popping in your head—you liked it when he sucked on your clit, so maybe he would like it if you suck on him too. Your cheeks hollowed, sucking him as you pulled your head back and then pushing your head forward, taking on more of his cock in with each bob of your head.

His head was thrown back, so you couldn't see much of his face. But his throat bobbed when he swallowed and you hollowed out your cheeks for him to moan deliciously. 

"Fuck—shit," he hissed. "If you keep doing that I'll cum in your mouth," he groaned and his hands tightened on your scalp, attempting to pull out.

But you dug your fingers on his thigh, pulling him back as you did it again, bobbing your head faster and hollowing your cheeks harder.

"Is that what you want, baby?" he asked, a large hand cupping the side of your face, thumb tapping you gently to make you look up at him.

You saw the muscles of his jaw twitch when all you did as a response was blink at him twice, nodding your head ever so slightly without detaching your mouth from his throbbing cock.

"Taking my cum the first time you give head—fuck, you're so, so perfect," he sighed weakly.

His fingers clenched on your hair and you knew he was really close because he was breathing out heavily, broken groans. 

"I'll tell you when it happens. Remember to breathe through your nose," he reminded you gently.

You continued moving your head forward, so far that the tip of your nose almost felt his pubic hair, his cockhead bumping the back of your throat, making it hurt a bit. And then sucking on the length moving your head back, breathing in deeply.

Your eyes darted upwards, finding Joshua's face riddled in lust. He groaned, furrowing his brow a bit as his eyelids were fluttering shut and his mouth parted a bit.

"Cumming," he breathed. 

Then he started making the most raw sounds you've heard him utter yet. His moans sounded sweet and raspy, almost as if he were about to start whimpering; all music to your ears. The hand on your hair clenched, hard. Joshua shuddered and with a louder groan his cum was shooting in the back of your mouth.

You moaned with him and stopped moving your head to breathe through your nose, swallowing quickly as ropes of cum filled your throat. It was slightly salty, warm and it was so much of it.

A fiery rush ran down your spine. You enjoyed giving him head and having him cum in your mouth. You loved the reaction he had, the lewd sounds he made, because of you.  

He was breathing heavily—not the way he did when he fucked you into your bed the other night, that was out of exhaustion. This was different, he was heaving, looking like he was elated.

"That was amazing," he sighed heavily once again.

A shudder shook him hard when you sucked on his cock again before pulling it out from your mouth.

"Woah, don't do that," he giggled softly. "Tickles."

You smiled sweetly. "Was it good?"

He bent down to help you up, cupping your face in his large hands to pull you into a heated kiss, you moaned in his mouth as his tongue lapped on yours, probably tasting himself on your tongue.

"The best fucking head I've ever had," he muttered gruffly on your lips.

You laughed.

"I mean it," he nodded, pressing his forehead on yours.

Then Joshua bent down a little and lifted your body up, eliciting a small yelp from you. You quickly grabbed him by the shoulders, wrapping your legs around him.

He gently placed you on your bed and pressed his lips against yours.

"You did really well, baby," he muttered before capturing your lips with his, kissing you softly.

A strange feeling of fulfillment swelled in your chest.

Joshua leaned his head against your chest, seemingly still coming down from his high because when he lifted his head ever so slightly to meet your eyes, he smiled lazily at you.

You returned the smile. Your hand found the nape of his neck and started drawing invisible figures on his bare back. A sigh coming from his lips brushed your skin, making you shiver.

You could get used to this, you said to yourself.

"I have to go now," he muttered, pushing himself from your body. "But I'll come pick you up later, m'kay?"

"What should I wear?" you asked, suddenly feeling nervous at the prospect of going out with him.

"Whatever you want, bunny," he smiled. "You look good in anything... and with nothing at all, too."

A fluttering sensation invaded your chest. You laughed. "Ditto."

He laughed, bringing a hand up to push his dark hair back anxiously. Was he flustered?

He planted a kiss on your lips and stood up from your bed, dressing up quickly. Again, he didn't make a show of it, but you enjoyed watching him nonetheless.

When he noticed your lustful gaze practically eye-fucking him, he smiled. "Insatiable little thing," he muttered, bending down to give you one final chaste kiss. "I'll see you later, sweetheart."

When Joshua came around to knock on your door, it was eight o'clock.

His black hair was parted naturally in the middle and it looked slightly wet. He wore a white faux leather jacket, white t-shirt and black denim jeans and black boots.

"I'm not ready yet," you told him as soon as he crossed your apartment door.

"I can see that," he smiled, looking at you up and down, noticing the silk robe you were wearing.

"Shut up," you quipped.

Rushing back to your room, you quickly got dressed in the outfit you had decided to wear for the occasion, inferring from the style that you usually saw Joshua dressed in for his gigs. 

Facing the mirror, you thought it was a cute outfit, but nothing prepared you for what Joshua's reaction would be.

As soon as you stepped in front of him, his mouth parted slightly, but was quickly replaced by a smile. He took a step to you, grabbing your hand to pull it up and you understood that he wanted you to twirl for him.

"You're gorgeous," he muttered before grabbing your face with one hand to pull you in a hot kiss.

"Thank you," you smiled sheepishly.

"I brought you something," he muttered in between kisses.

"Oh?" you uttered, being showered by his warm lips.

"But you have to open it when we get back. I just wanted to leave it here before we go," he handed a small black box.

It didn't look like a present, it wasn't wrapped or adorned with anything. You wanted to open it as soon as you took it. It was big enough to cover both of the palms of your hands, and it was somewhat heavy for its size, too.

"What is it?" you asked, looking up to his big eyes.

"It's for later," he replied, you noticed a glint in his eyes.

"Oh," you uttered again, smiling. "What's the reason?"

"Consider it one of the many I plan to give you," he smiled playfully.

You cocked an eyebrow. "Should I worry about what's inside?" you joked.

"It's something I know you'll like," he tilted his head to the side. "Or I hope it does."

Your finger slid on the edge of the black box. You got a faint idea of what was kept inside but decided to listen to Joshua and wait for later.

"Let's go, princess. The boys are waiting for us," he said, taking your hand with his.

"Who?" you asked, swiftly putting the gift on the coffee table and grabbing your purse as you headed out of your apartment.

"My bandmates. You'll like them," he assured you, turning to see you. "They've been eager to meet you."

"You told them about me?" you asked in a high pitch tone.

You got in the elevator together and Joshua pressed the button downstairs.

"I told them I'm bringing you with me and they went crazy about it," he sighed, unlocking his phone to show you a myriad of texts from a Jihoon and a Vernon.

You read the oncoming texts, raging for mostly reactions and exacerbated questions about Joshua finally dating someone. But he quickly shut down those speculations from his bandmates at once by saying you were a friend.

Something else on the screen caught your attention.

"You have seven hundred unread messages? And why do they say you're finally dating someone, what do they mean by finally?" you asked, bewilderedly returning his phone in his hand.

"You are a fast reader," he frowned. "I don't like texting," he shrugged.

"And?" you prompted.

His lips quirked into a smile. "Wouldn't you like to know," he joked, then shrugged again. "I've been single for a while."

"Really?" you asked with a smile, cocking an eyebrow.

"You're in no position to tease me about it," he smiled too.

You brushed him off. "Why are you single?"

"I uh..." he frowned and looked to the floor, as if looking for an answer there, "I haven't found the right person, I guess."

A sudden pang of concern jabbed you in the chest. But you made no comment, just nodded.

"And you?"

"Mmph. Same, I guess."

He looked at you. "Are you looking for something in particular?"

You sighed, contemplating your answer. "Nothing specific. Just… someone who feels right, you know? Someone who matches."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, I get it. Has to be the right match, or it just doesn't work."

"But it's not like I'm actively looking," you added, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, me neither," he replied, trying to match your tone, but the awkwardness lingered.

Feeling the change, he cleared his throat.

The elevator doors opened and you walked outside of the building toward a large van. Where two men were waiting for Joshua, as soon as they saw you walking at his side, they exchanged a not so discreet look.

Joshua scoffed. "These two," he muttered with a grin.

Joshua opened the front door for you and you got into the passenger seat, noticing on your way that the back of the van was packed with a full drum set and two large guitar cases, a mic stand and sound amplifiers.

"This is Vernon and Jihoon," Joshua introduced you to the two grinning men who looked at you expectantly.

You told them your name with a shy smile.

"Behave," Joshua sneered as he sat in the driver's seat next to you, eyeing at the two guys sitting on the seats behind.

"We haven't said anything!" Jihoon protested with a smug grin.

You wanted to laugh at the way that Jihoon and Vernon exchanged looks once again.

"So... where did you two guys meet?" Jihoon asked either you or Joshua.

You felt like the question was directed towards you. "We're neighbors," you put in flatly. But sensing that you were being shy, added: "I complained at him for being noisy."

"Complained?" he interjected. "More like berated me," he teased as he started the car.

"I did not berate you," you bit back with a smile.

He rolled his eyes. "Put your seatbelt on."

"You first," you mumbled, but you did as he told nonetheless.

Jihoon scoffed loudly, trying not to burst out laughing.

"That's cute," Vernon commented flatly.

"What is?" you asked, turning to see the man sitting directly behind you.

He shrugged.

"It's cute that you're acting like an old married couple," Jihoon translated for his fellow bandmate with a smile.

You laughed. "Joshua is just a tease."

You felt him shift and noticed that he gave you a look.

"Oh, Shua's a nightmare," Jihoon retorted.

"Shua?" you repeated, looking at Joshua and then at Jihoon.

"He has many nicknames, you know. Joshuji, Joshu, Joshie, but the girls prefer Shua," he teased.

"Girls?" you parroted.

"Joshua's fans," Vernon informed, looking at his phone aloofly.

"Instagram fans," Jihoon complemented.

"Mmmph," you hummed.

"He's garnered quite the following," Jihoon teased, enjoying how Joshua was practically seething at him through the rear mirror.

"I imagine. But he told me he doesn't," you quipped.

"What?! He doesn't shut up about it with us," he looked over at Vernon, who just nodded with his head.   

"I can find more drummers, you know," Joshua bit back, looking at Jihoon through the rear view mirror.

"Please," the drummer scoffed.

"So you guys have been in a band for long?" you asked, feeling a certain eagerness to know more about Joshua's life.

"Two years?" Jihoon inferred, looking at Vernon, who just nodded in silence.

"I haven't listened to your music yet," you realized out loud. "I'm excited."

Joshua smiled without tearing his eyes from the road.

You arrived at a place called The Spot. Which was a bar located a few minutes from your apartment building.

Joshua parked the large van in the small parking lot behind the bar for the boys to unload the equipment they brought.

"Come. I'll show you inside," he said, grabbing your hand to lead you inside the dark-neon lit interior.

The bar was a western rock bar with an 80s theme. It had old movie posters and red neon signs on the walls. A U-shaped bar top in the center of the space, a large red neon sign that spelled 'Heartbreaker' mounted on the wall. Next to the booths and tables was a small stage where Jihoon and Vernon were already the drum set mounted.

The bar was not that big, but it was already starting to pack with people.

You sat in the last stool at the bartop, the spot was facing the side of the stage.

Keeping your eyes trained on him. He was scanning his surroundings anxiously, as if he was looking for something but nothing in particular at the same time.

"You can order whatever you want. It's on me," he smiled, and nodded at the two guys behind the bartop.

He fixed his jacket and licked his lips, then noticed your gaze on him.

"Are you nervous?" you asked suddenly.

That drew his big eyes to yours. "Nervous?"

"Yeah, you're fidgety," you pointed.

"I'm not," he said sternly, eyeing you with a glint of annoyance.

You narrowed your eyes. "You are," you insisted. "Why? Is it because I'm here?"

You laughed when all Joshua did was roll his eyes.

"I'll deal with you later," he brushed off before turning away and helping the guys get everything installed.

A pretty girl came forward almost a second later with a notepad and wearing a big smile. "Can I get you anything?" she asked.

You thought about it for a second. "Can I get a virgin piña colada?" you asked, feeling like a kid again.

The girl smiled. "Of course, right away."

Seconds later, the tall man behind the counter handed you your virgin cocktail. It had a cherry on the rim and a small pineapple slice.

"Thanks."

The tall nodded. "Are you a friend of Joshua's?" he asked.

You nodded, looking at his name tag. Mingyu.

When Mingyu smiled, you saw that his pointed fangs adorned his smile in a cute manner.

"You are his friend too?" you asked.

"He's more my boss's friend," he nodded in the direction of a tall guy that was talking with Joshua.

"Does he come here often?" you decided to pry.

"Just every other Thursday," he shrugged.

"D'you have live shows every Thursday then?"

"Yep. We try at least," he said as he poured beer on a crystal jug and put it on the bartop. "We are planning on having stand up nights, but Wonwoo says it's not a good idea," he said, pointing at his partner.

Wonwoo looked up, his ears perking at the sound of his name. "What?" he asked, pushing the rim of his frames up his sharp nose.

"Nothing," Mingyu brushed off.

"Have you thought about having Ladies’ Night?" you inquired, seeing the groups of women fill in the booths around the stage. 

"Huh. Sure, why not," he said in a thoughtful tone. And he turned to his partner. "Hey, what do you think of Ladies’ Night instead of stand up nights?"

Wonwoo shrugged, eyeing you curiously. "Either sounds like more work for me," he smiled shyly at the taller man. "Don't tell Cheol I said that."

The groups of girls coming to the bar, you thought, were due to the fact that the bar was partly cheap and well-decorated. It seemed like a fun place for a mini photo session while getting a few drinks; as you noticed from the people posing in front of the red neon signs.

A second thought was that a large part of the mostly female clientele was because the three guys who ran the bar were good looking.

Mingyu was the sweet, friendly looking guy, tall and buff; he was hot and well aware of it. Wonwoo was the alluring, quiet looking guy, dressed in all black, but whenever he smiled, his nose would wrinkle, telling on his sweet side. And the guy who was talking with Joshua also looked really attractive: tall, with the poise of a commander. Pale blond hair and full lips.

Joshua noticed you looking his way and smiled at you, making your insides jolt in response.

It was almost funny. He'd throw just a glance at you and have your body reacting like crazy.

But you guessed that it was unavoidable.

The eyes on him weren't just yours, but half of the people sitting around the small stage looked at Joshua expectantly as he nodded to his blond friend once and took the strap of his electric guitar to put it around his shoulders.

He did a brief sound check, which consisted of strumming the chords a few times aimlessly. That dragged dozens of eyes to the stage.

The microphone was tapped twice by his finger, as the speakers that played regular music died down, the microphone catching the sound around it and you could hear Joshua clearing his throat briefly.

You noticed the energy change around you, the buzz of the crowd growing quiet and then hushed almost completely when Joshua took the microphone, a white pick trapped between his pointer and middle finger.

"Hi, we're Midnight Haze," Joshua said, "and we're going to be your entertainment for tonight. Enjoy," his lips rose into a smile.

Then he turned to the drummer and nodded. Jihoon moved to get into position on the stool he occupied, lifting the drumsticks in his hands. He tapped them together twice, and with a thunderous splash, the music began reverberating throughout the place.

Then the guitar chords pierced the air and their vibrations could be felt on the barstool you were sitting at. With his eyes fixed on his guitar, Joshua raised his head to place his mouth in alignment with the microphone on the stand.

Under the red glowing light, his face lit up almost ominously as he began to sing. The sweet voice reverberated in your chest due to your closeness to the speakers, but beneath that, you felt a surge of emotion invade your senses as his voice rose with passion, weaving the melodies.

Midnight Haze sounded heavy enough like when a tidal wave crashes, but light and fun enough to dance along. Guitar solos spiral into your ears, Joshua appeared to be enjoying himself while swaying with his guitar, igniting a blaze of raw energy.

You realized that you were not the only one who was awestruck. Definitely not groupies. But there were some girls ogling at him, which, you realized, was difficult to resist.

At least from what you could catch, they had their eyes glued to the lead singer, who was putting on quite a show: dancing with his guitar, swaying his head to the music and smiling at his bandmates in some unspoken exchange.

They played for an hour non-stop, ending with an upbeat song and then he thanked the crowd and said goodbye for himself and the rest of the band. As they stepped down from the stage, the audience applauded and so did you, but you couldn't help but feel that you were left wanting more.

After some minutes, the buzz of the crowd resumed as well as the music from the bar speakers. Joshua made his way to you, sweat on his forehead and his looking a mixture of exhilarated and tired. But he was grinning ear to ear.

"See? No one is throwing themselves at me," he told you. 

"Point taken, rockstar," you rolled your eyes. 

He smiled widely, making your heart lurch. "Did you like the show?"

"Yeah. It was way too short, though. I kinda want more," you smiled up at him, still feeling dazed and a bit deafened.

"Sometimes we play on bigger venues and for longer," he commented, nodding to the small stage that was being cleared up from the band's equipment.

"I'll definitely want to see that," you stated.

His big dark eyes found yours, the corner of his mouth lifted. "I'll help the boys and I'll come back for you," he said and booped the tip of your nose before turning to the stage and helping with the dismounting of the equipment.

You quietly observed him as he busied himself to help clean up the stage. He's so cool, you internally said abashedly. He laughed and joked around with Vernon and Jihoon, drawing the attention of the people around them.

He looked at you from across the room and sneaked a wink. Did he know you'd be staring at him? He waved goodbye to his friends and turned to you.

"Ready, princess?" he asked, looking curiously at your already finished drink. "You had piña coladas?"

"Virgin piña coladas," you emphasized, nodding.

"That reminds me of something," he noted, and went to pay the bill to then return to you. "Come on."

Joshua took your hand as he led you back to the parking lot and opened the door of the van for you.

"We have to talk about some rules," he pointed as he drove back home.

"Rules?" you looked at him. Fuck, he's hot even when he's driving.

He had one hand on the steering wheel, and the other was relaxed on the windowsill.

"Last night I told you I wouldn't do anything to you while you're drunk, remember?"

"I'm not drunk now," you interjected.

"But you told me you didn't care, right?"

"And I don't. You can do whatever you want with me," you blurted, feeling your cheeks grow hotter.

"I need to know when something is completely out of the question, princess," he told you softly, eyeing you again.

"Like what?" you asked.

"Can I fuck you while you sleep?" he asked, by the tone he used, you could tell he was just giving you an example.

You smirked. "Sounds like you wouldn't do that," you retorted.

"I'm not into that," he admitted.

"That's why you couldn't last night?" you decided to pry.

"You weren't sober. Under different circumstances, I might've considered it. But last night just didn't feel right," he explained, seemingly deep in thought.

"Noted," you smiled at the careful consideration he had over you.

"I think we need to establish a safeword," he said after some seconds.

You saw him toy with his lower lip as the other hand still gripped the steering wheel.

"And I use this safe word whenever I don't like something, right?"

There was a bit you knew about the use of safewords—you were a bit inexperienced, yes. But not completely out of the loop.

"If you want me to stop, you say it and I will," he nodded, as he parked the van in the parking lot. Swiftly unbuckling his seatbelt, he hopped out of the van and then hurried over to your door.

You were both on the elevator when you told him your safeword after some careful consideration.

"Got it," he nodded again, licking his lower lip in a thoughtful expression. "Any reason why that's your safeword?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," you quipped, a playful smile spreading on your lips.

He chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eye. "You've been really bratty today, princess," he pointed.

"Oh, please," you pushed his shoulder playfully. "It's just a bit of teasing, can't you handle it, Shua? What are you going to do?"

The doors opened with a soft ding.

"Alright," he scoffed, and with a sudden movement, he bent down to throw you over his shoulder as if it was nothing.

"Joshua! Put me down!" you squealed.

You heard him laugh as he walked with you secured over his shoulder and stopped in what you guessed was your apartment.

He entered the combination to your smart-lock and pushed the door open.

"Now princess, where did you put the box I gave you?" he asked as soon as the door closed behind him.

"Coffee table," you mumbled, starting to feel dizzy.

Joshua didn't put you down as he took the box from the coffee table by crouching down slightly to reach it. Your limbs and head dangled helplessly, blood rushed to your head but as he moved to your bedroom, he set your backside on the bed, setting you down finally.

"Open it," he encouraged, and started to take off his jacket.

"I think I know what I'm gonna find here," you muttered, recovering with a sigh.

"Oh, do you?" he looked up at you while you took the lid of the box off.

The box contained two things, one of which confirmed that your suspicions were right—rope. Tightly coiled and bundled, it was black and new, by the smell of it. It was also soft, when you gently reached out a finger to touch it.

Next to the rope, a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs.

"I got two options for you to choose for tonight," Joshua explained and you found his big eyes scrutinizing you.

Instinctively, you grabbed the rope, since it seemed more alluring to you at that moment.

Joshua smiled knowingly, taking the rope from your hands. "Alright, princess. Rope it is," he nodded.

"But I liked the handcuffs too," you blurted.

"Patience, bunny. We'll have plenty more nights," he stated, making your insides jolt with eagerness.

"M'kay," you mumbled, looking at him anxiously.

In reality, you didn't have 'plenty more nights' as he said, since your deal with him was to be fuck buddies until you finished your manuscript. Which you have been dreading to finish.

He noticed your restive eyes on him and dipped his head to slot his lips in yours, giving you a reassuring kiss.  

"Take off your clothes for me, sweetheart," he instructed gently before pressing his lips with yours.

Your breath hitched so embarrassingly you had to bite down your lower lip. You liked the way he told you what to do, you liked that he took control. So you did what he told you to do.

As your clothes came off, Joshua busied himself preparing the rope for you. But his eyes remained fixed on you as you made a show to take off your clothes for him.

He sat at the foot of the bed—watching you with a sweet smile that didn't fully show his teeth. Your heart fluttered uneasily when his gaze darkened slowly when you got to your see through the mesh red lingerie he asked you to wear.

You unclasped your bra and sheepishly moved it from your chest, throwing it to the floor to then tug at the hem of your thong. 

"Leave that on," he stopped you before you could get to the last piece of your undergarments. 

The rope came undone on his hands, it was longer than you expected. Watching his hand twist the rope in an organized fashion, using his elbow as an anchor while his other hand grasped the other end of the knot.

"You've done this before," you pointed.

"Or," he countered with a grin, "I just know how to tie rope."

You squinted, catching the obvious white lie. "How many times have you done this?" you pressed.

"I don't think you really want to hear the answer to that, princess," he quipped.

Fair.

"Mmph," you hummed.

He sighed and looked at you, almost fully naked under the dim lights of your bedroom. "Yes, sweetheart. I've done this before. Don't worry," he nodded to the bed.

You understood and climbed your bed, moving your body to the middle and lying down on your pillows. Joshua followed you on his knees before you.

He extended the rope out for you, organized in two holes for you to fit your hands inside. You anxiously stuck your hands on each hole, at the same time Joshua slid the knot, tucking it closer to your wrists.

"Is it too tight?" he asked, and you could tell he was excited already.

You shook your head, your eyes trained on Joshua as he bent to finish tying the rope on the rails of the headboard of your princess bed—thus pinning your arms above your head.

"Remember our safeword," he said softly before placing a tender kiss on your lips.

You repeated your safeword, and then you started to feel your body heat in anticipation.

"That's my good girl," he sighed, pressing his lips on yours. "You're good only when you're about to get fucked, right?"

You attempted to give him an answer but his tongue dragged on your lower lip, finding your tongue as he kissed you slowly, enjoying the taste of your lips with a soft hum.

"I'm always good," you replied meekly.

"Oh, sweetheart. If only that were true. You wouldn't be tied right now," he smirked and pulled away from your body.

Joshua jumped from the bed, and started getting rid of his clothes, except his underwear. He smiled when he noticed you looking at him and turned to open the first drawer where he knew now you kept your toys.

Your blood rushed to your cheeks, and involuntarily you moved your hands to no avail—your arms were completely restrained.

"Do you keep them charged, princess?" he asked while he rummaged through your clothes to find your toys on the bottom of the drawer, stored neatly inside a shoe box.

"Yeah," you breathed nervously.

"How often do you use them?" he asked.

"Um... last time I used them was... wh-when I had that dream about you," you stuttered.

"Did you cum, baby?" he asked, looking over to your body as he made his way back to you .

You nodded. "And while I was sleeping," you muttered sheepishly.

He cocked his pierced eyebrow. "Is that even possible?" he asked, climbing back to the bed with two of your toys.

"It was for me," you breathed.

"So you came... twice? From a little wet dream of me eating you out?" he asked, his eyes marveling at the sight of you tied to your bed.

You nodded.

He smiled, letting out a sigh. "My perfect little bunny. Who would've thought you'd be this needy," he leaned in, cupping the side of your face to press his lips on the tip of your nose, then to your lips.

The urge of touching his face too invaded you, your arms twitched, the tight knot of rope stopping you before you could even move any further.

It was almost funny—being aware of the impossibility of touching him but still aching to do so aroused you.

"Joshua... please," you gulped hard.

His laugh came as a surprise to you. "Begging already, princess?"

"I need you," you whimpered, looking at him through your eyelashes.

"But you are in no position to make demands, baby," he muttered and planted a chaste kiss on your lips which you returned eagerly, trying to sneak the tip of your tongue between his lips but he pulled back slightly with a smirk.

"But you said-"

"I know what I said," he interjected. "That was before you acted all bratty today, wasn't it, sweetheart?"

You let out a small whine and bit your lower lip.

"So maybe I won't fuck you tonight, how about that?" he asked, tilting his head to the side, his black bangs obscuring one eye.

"You wouldn't do that," you whined, writhing on your bed, the restraints stopping you before you could do anything at all.

"Careful there, princess. These might be soft but I bet you bruise easily, don't you?" he asked, tugging at the knot pinning your wrists.

"Joshua!" you squeaked.

"Yes?" he met your eyes, giving you an innocent look.

It was insane how controlled he looked, the way he looked at you as if you were his prey and he were just toying with you.

You fumbled for the words, but as his eyes bored into yours, you felt at a loss.

"Joshua, please," you whispered when his lips found your sweet spot between your ear and jawline, making you moan when his lips sucked softly.

"Keep begging all you want, baby," he muttered, and you just knew he was smiling.

His hands trailed down your body, roaming, caressing your breasts and playing with your nipples using his thumbs. You moaned helplessly and grinded your hips against the growing bulge of his dark underwear.

"Desperate little thing," he groaned, lowering his body to attach his mouth to one of your nipples, making you cry out loudly and try to reach for his black hair.

Since your head was propped up in your pillows, you had a fairly good view of him biting and sucking at your nipples, it wasn't hard, but just enough to make you squirm and whimper under him.

"You have the prettiest tits, baby," he muttered as he nibbled softly at one of your nipples. "Can I mark them?"

You nodded as his gaze found yours. "Yeah, p-please do," you urged.

The corner of his lips lifted before pressing his lips on the underside of your tits and sucked softly. You moaned softly, wanting to run your hand through his hair, but not being able to make you feel more uneasy.

"Oh, Joshua," you whimpered as he made a trail of angry red spots on your tits. It was a strange feeling, having his hot mouth sucking on the skin around your areolas.

"I like these," he muttered, toying with the hem of your thong. "I love that you remembered to wear them."

"How could I not?" you quipped, feeling a bit breathless at the sight of him slotting his head between your thighs, kissing your pulsing clit through the meshy fabric of your thong.

"You could be a sweet talker when you want to," he smiled before pressing his tongue flatly on your core, making you cry out.

He sucked gently at your clit for a moment and then pulled his tongue away, hooking his fingers on your thong to slide them down your legs.

You saw him purse his lips directly above your pussy, and spit fell from his mouth, coating your clit. The sight of it alone made you utter a ridiculous sound.

And just when you thought he was going to continue eating you out, he grabbed something he had hidden beside him on the bed, and you realized by the pinkish color on his hand what it was.

"D'you use this often, sweetheart?" he asked as he pressed on the button of your rose vibrator.

He gently parted your pussy lips with his fingers, making you whimper when he placed the sucking tip of the vibrator directly on your clit.

"I... sometimes," you answered as the toy sucked your clit in its mechanical, trained patterns.

"And what about this one, baby?" he asked softly, grabbing with his free hand a wavy glass dildo.

You groaned, feeling both aroused and embarrassed. If you had your hands free, you'd use them to cover your face.

"What's wrong, baby?" he giggled, seeing your reaction. "I saw your collection of toys. I have a rough idea of what you like, but I want you to tell me."

You rolled your eyes, deeply flustered.

"That's my favorite," you pointed with your nose to the clear dildo, adorned with a pink heart at the end. "But if I want to... do things quickly I use this," you pointed to the toy trying to swallow your clit.

"Oh, really?" he smirked and bent forward to plant a sweet kiss on your lips. "I love the idea of you fucking yourself with your toys, princess," he told you before he kissed one of your hot cheeks.

"You do?" you asked in a high pitch tone.

"Yeah," he breathed, and you just loved the way he said it. "My pretty needy bunny, bouncing on a fucking toy. Now, that's something I'd like to see."

You moaned in his lips. But he pulled away too soon, suddenly turning off the vibrator, making you groan at the loss of stimulation. Then he spit on the tip of the dildo, coating it completely with his drool.

Joshua had a grin on his face when you whined loudly at the sudden intrusion of the glass dildo, the bulbous tip pushing your walls open.

"I see why you like this," he muttered as he pushed further into the second wave. "It looks insane, baby. Your pretty pussy is swallowing it in," he whispered.

The dildo was only halfway in, but apparently that's what Joshua wanted because he started rocking it back and forth in your walls, at the same time he clicked the vibrator on again and attached it to your swollen clit, sucking and sending waves through your body.

You moaned and gasped. You had never had both toys on your cunt before, for obvious reasons.

But the vibrator was relentless and the combination of both was making you writhe and cry of pleasure, feeling really close to your release.

"Joshua!" you cried, writhing in your bed so desperately that the headboard of your bed rattled a bit. "Please, please, don't stop." 

"Are you going to come, princess?" he asked and you nodded your head frantically.

He pulled the toys away from your throbbing cunt in a second. You blinked and furrowed your brow at him. 

His lips were clashing on yours before you could utter a word. He moaned softly as he swiped your lower lip with his tongue.

"Remember how bratty you were today, bunny," he muttered gruffly. "I want you to think of it when I allow you to come."

"Joshua, please, just-" you moaned pathetically, trying to push your hips to the dildo still held directly in front of your sopping core.

"What, baby? What do you want?" he asked, his voice low and raspy.

"I want-" you gasped and gulped.

"Do you want me to keep fucking you with your toys? Or do you want my cock?"

The rope around your wrists tightened when you desperately tried to move your arms. "I want you, please Joshua" you whined.

He hummed, seeming to consider it. "Such a greedy girl," he muttered while he kissed you slowly with his wet lips. "Only behaves when she wants my cock."

The vibrator clicked on again under his thumb, attaching it to your clit again and thrusting the glass dildo on your fluttering walls. You contorted in your bed, trying to get the best out of the pleasure from the toys to sate your sopping core, biting down the inside of your cheek to stop the whimpers and sobs.

"I want to hear you," he said and you cried out instantly, feeling so close again to your release.

You screwed your eyes shut, propping your feet on the mattress to try and thrust your hips further on the dildo, trying to fuck yourself faster on it.

You arched your back just as you were about to have your much desired orgasm. But then Joshua set  the vibrator aside and from your clit.

"Please, please, please," you moaned over and over again. "Shua, please, I need you. Please, fuck me."

Then he pulled away from your body, with one swift movement he got rid of his underwear and slotted his body between your legs. He was sliding down a condom and before you could see what was happening properly, he was pushing his cock in your core with a loud groan.

You cried out in both pleasure and pain as he immediately started thrusting his big cock inside you, pushing your walls open for him.

"Fuck, baby. How are you still this fucking tight?" he groaned, his hands grabbing your hips as he pushed himself until he bottomed out and you could feel his full length inside you.

"Shua," you cried weakly.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" he asked, pushing into your walls slowly.

"'m fine," you whimpered, closing your eyes to savor the pleasure of finally having him inside you as best as you could. "I just- I love having you inside me."

He giggled sweetly. "You do?"

You nodded with your head. "I love it s-much," you mumbled. "It feels so good."

"You feel great too," he said in a strangled voice.

Then Joshua started thrusting faster and harder, making your body bounce on his cock and the headboard slam repeatedly on the wall. You closed your eyes and swallowed hard as Joshua quite practically fucked you into your bed loudly.

You moaned deliriously when you felt the vibrator attached to your clit again, crying out when it started sending pulsations relentlessly, just as Joshua's hips buckled slightly, and his thrusts became more precise and calculated, holding your hips down with one hand.

"F-fuck," you whimpered, your eyes welling up with tears as you could feel yourself weaken under so much pleasure. 

"Too much, baby?" he asked and you picked up on the hint of concern in his voice.

"'m fine, Shua," you replied in a hoarse voice, blinking your tears helplessly. "I'm-m fuck-"

"You're squirting, baby," he told you in a low tone of awe, his eyes trained on your cunt as he plunged his cock inside you, his hand still pressing the vibrator on your clit.

"But I'm not coming," you protested, lifting your head to see but his hand blocked your view.

"I know, sweetheart," he smirked. "Tell me when you're close."

A frustrated groan fell from your lips and threw your head back against the pillows, avoiding answering.

Joshua let out an amused sigh at your small tantrum and you looked at him—he looked mesmerized. His lascivious eyes trained on you, his lower lip trapped behind his teeth, his black bangs stuck against a light layer of sweat that covered his forehead. 

He was on his knees, sitting back on his heels, the muscles of his abdomen tightening with every thrust, your legs draped on his thighs, a hand grabbing your hips, holding you in place while the other kept the toy pressed on your swollen clit.

The sight alone made your walls flutter and clench around him. You wanted to grab him, to feel his skin. The rails to which you were tied to made a rattling noise when you tried to move your arms.

The pressure building inside you from the toy pressing your clit and his cock pushing inside you—you moaned and squirmed on your bed.

"Shua, 'm close, fuckfuckfuck 'm so close," you whimpered, blinking some tears helplessly.

"What did I tell you, princess?" he pushed his cock inside you in a more demanding way, as if trying to rip your orgasm from you.

"I'll be good, Shua, I'm sorry-," you breathed desperately. "Jus' le-let me cum, please?"

"You learn fast," he praised with a lazy smirk. "You can cum, baby," he nodded, his face riddled with lust.

A second later you were writhing, crying out his name, the rope tightening around your wrists as you came hard, back arching and walls spasming erratically around his cock.

"Joshua," you breathed as he rode your high with precise and calculated thrusts.

A faint thought appeared in your mind—you probably looked like a mess, tied to the rails of your bed, hickeys all over your tits, crying and babbling nonsense.

"Fuck, I can't—Shua," you moan an writhed, feeling your core ache and spasm helplessly under the overwhelming stimulation.

"Are you safewording, bunny?" he asked, again, there was that tone of concern.

You shook your head weakly on your pillows. "No—don't stop, I want you, oh Joshua—fuck, fuck!"

You tried to press your ass down on the bed, trying to create some distance from the painful sensation in your oversensitive clit. Joshua appeared to be reading on how your body reacted, and changed the mode of the vibrator to a more delicate one. 

You screwed your eyes shut, feeling like you could sink into a void from all the pleasure your body was feeling, it was almost breaking you. 

You heard a soft sigh. "My pretty bunny. Do you like being fucked silly?" he was smiling from the tone of his voice.

"Love it—love having your cock inside me s'much," you replied almost instantly in a slurry babble.

That made him laugh. "Can you give me another one then, sweetheart? Cum for me again."

You nodded, savoring your fourth orgasm of the day. Your fingers clenched the rope as a form of soothing your body from the waves of pleasure threatening to wash over you. 

"Shua," you whimpered.

"I know, baby," he groaned, blinking slowly as he threw his head back ever so slightly. "I know."

Something snapped inside you, making you close your eyes so tightly you saw colors and then a slew of cries and hoarse moans came out of your mouth until you were breathless and crying from the overwhelming pleasure, the tears running down your temples.

"Fuck, baby," he groaned, and you knew from his face that he was cumming with you. His slightly parted mouth, eyelids fluttering, fingers digging at your hips.

The slamming noises from the headboard against the wall of your bedroom ceased, as Joshua threw the vibrator across the bed, his thrusts lazily coming to a stop with a last strangled moan.

You saw him bend his body forward to untie you in a swift tug of his fingers.

Then his hands were cupping your face, his lips slotting in yours, kissing you fervently.

"You're so good for me, bunny," he muttered in between kisses. "So, so good for me."

Your arms languidly wrapped around his neck as you returned his heated kiss. You moaned at the feeling of having his hot mouth on yours, savoring him.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" he asked after you didn't respond.

"Uh-huh," you replied weakly.

He pressed his chapped lips in a smile that made your heart jolt. Looking at you with a glint of endearment as his fingers gathered some tears that were gathered in the corners of your eyes.

"You sure?" he whispered, his eyebrows knitting together.

You nodded. "'m sure."

"D'you want me to stay?" he asked hesitantly.

"Please?"

He blinked slowly at you, a cute smile stretching his lips. "Of course," he nodded. "Let me take care of you then."

He planted a soft kiss on your forehead and left the bed against your small groan in protest. When he returned a moment later, he had discarded the condom and you could hear the faint noise from the shower running in the bathroom.

"Don't move. I'll carry you," he said as he slid his arms beneath your body, bringing you up to his chest effortlessly.

"Thanks," you mumbled, feeling yourself come back to your senses.

"Don't thank me, baby," he mumbled, glancing at your face with a cautious look.

He set you down on the floor and guided you to stand under the showerhead. The warm water worked its magic, reviving your muscles and senses back to life.

Joshua was looking at you with his curious eyes, as he usually did. But this time, he looked kind of worried.

"Was it too much?" he finally asked as he watched your body soak in the warm water. "You're really quiet."

A reassuring smile crept in your lips. "I'm fine, Joshua. You don't have to worry about me," you replied.

"But I do, let me worry," he said, taking one of your hands to examine your wrists, which were reddened.

Your heart jolted again. "I liked it, Shua. Otherwise I would've told you, right?" you mumbled sheepishly.

His big eyes met yours, and you could see his features relax. His hand released yours to find your nape and pull you into a tender kiss.

"Thank you for trusting me," he muttered, resting his forehead against yours.

It was deafening and alarming—your heart was strumming against your chest, fast; a flutter of nervousness in your tummy. Fuck, this can't be happening, you told yourself. But a part of you knew this was bound to happen.

You were falling in love. 

✮ a/n: first of all: can we pretend that vernon knows how to play the electric bass for the sake of this chapter pls (˘･_･˘)

thank you to everyone who showed love to part i and for the ones who waited for part 2 ty ty ty! i made this chapter extra juicy for those who waited tehe

what do you guys think Midnight Haze sound like? i thought of something like nothing but thieves or sam fender [especially this cover song] but do let me know your opinions! [links re-direct to youtube vids]

you can send an ask, chat with me, or drop your comments don't be shy (◠‿◠)

✮ READ PART 3 !! ✮

click here to join my taglist (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

toodles

[vodika-vibes]

Ner Kar'ta

Summary: As a long time servant of Palpatine, you take what joy can can when you can. And for Commander Fox, the lost Prince of Mandalore, you are the only bright spot in his life. And now Palpatine knows it.

Pairing: Prince!Fox x Reader

Word Count: 3023

Warnings: Angst

Mando'a used: Ner Kar'ta - lit. My heart

A/N: This is technically a sorta sequel to the Wolffe version of this AU. Technically. But you don't have to read it to understand. Also, while I would normally write this tomorrow, I got mugged by a wild plot bunny, so here it is.

Divider by saradika

You quietly hurry down the cold hallway, the torches Lord Palpatine uses to light the part of his palace devoted to his servants barely bright enough to cast enough light, let alone offer any warmth to the people unfortunate enough to call it home.

You’ve gotten very good at layering to stay warm. Though your slippers do little to protect your feet from the chill of the stone beneath your feet. But, it’s better to have cold feet than to wear something thicker that might make more noise.

Silence is the name of the game as one of Lord Palpatine’s servants.

And you are very good at silence.

You turn down a side hallway, your feet leading you to a specific room. Though you falter when you notice the red clad guards standing at the door. Lord Palpatine’s Imperial Guard.

Why they’re called that, you’re not sure, but it doesn’t matter. The red clad men and women are as cruel and vicious as the men who hold their leashes. You press your back against the wall and duck your head, your arms folding tightly around the rough cloth satchel in your arms. The red clad guards don’t even glance towards you. Which is probably the only upside to being a servant, you are so unimportant that you might as well not exist.

The door to the room that is your final destination swings open, and you immediately stop leaning against the wall, and bow your head. You hear heavy footsteps, and then a pair of heavy boots stops in front of you. 

You don’t look up as Lord Vader stops in front of you, and you can feel him glaring down at you with those terrifying yellow eyes. “You are here to tend to the Commander’s injuries.” His voice is flat, and his sentence, which should have been a question, comes out more as an order.

“Yes, My lord,” You whisper, your voice barely loud enough to be heard.

There’s silence for another moment, which, to you, feels like an eternity, and then the boots turn away from you, “The Commander has a few broken bones, girl. See to it that he’s healed properly for his duty in the morning.”

“Yes, my lord. Right away, my lord.” You keep your head bowed until Lord Vader and the Imperial Guards are gone, and only then do you feel comfortable lifting your head and hurrying down the hall.

You open the door only wide enough for you to slip in, “Commander?” You ask from the doorway just before you shut the door with a quiet click. The room is just as badly lit as the hallway, but even so, you’re able to see the Commander sprawled on his mattress. 

You cross the room as quickly as you dare, and you smoothly sink to your knees next to his head. Quickly, and with the ease of long experience, you remove the Commander’s helmet, “Fox? Are you with me?”

He groans and slowly opens his eyes.

He looks…bad. His bruises have bruises, though you don’t see any blood, thank the stars for small mercies, you suppose.  “Ner kar’ta,” He murmurs.

Relief washes through you when he speaks, his voice rough from disuse, and in spite of his bruises and injuries, his eyes are bright and alert, so no head injury this time.

“I’m going to remove your armor.” You whisper, “Where is the pain the worst?”

His lips curl up into a ghost of a smile, “Buy a guy dinner first, ner kar’ta.” He jokes weakly.

“Well, it’s your lucky day. I was able to smuggle some fresh fruit from the kitchens as well as a sandwich.” You reply, lowering your voice even more.

“Risky,” He murmurs.

“You’re worth it.” You reassure gently, your hand resting lightly on his shoulder, “Now, please, where is the pain the worst?”

“Chest, ribs. Vader was pissed today, don’t know why.” He groans lowly as you, as gently as possible, start unfastening his armor and setting it to the side.

“He didn’t seem any angrier than usual when I ran into him,” You reply as you carefully help him sit up to remove his back plate, and then lay him back on the mattress.

Fox grabs your wrist to stop your movements, “Ner kar’ta…You ran into Vader?” He asks, something like panic crossing his face as he scans you for any injuries, “Are you hurt?”

“No. He spoke with me, but that’s all.” You run your fingers soothingly across the top of his hand, “I’m not important enough to hurt, my love, please don’t worry about me.”

“Can’t help it,” Fox replies as the tension drains out of him, now that he’s sure that you’re uninjured, “You’re the only good thing in this place.”

I love you, he means. And you both know it. Though speaking the words out loud brings too much risk. And Fox would sooner rip his own arm off than ever say anything that would make your life more dangerous than it already is. You don’t need to hear the words to know the truth, after all.

You favor him with a tender smile, and you press your lips against the top of his hand, before you carefully set it on the bed as well. You move down his body and swiftly strip off the rest of his armor, stacking all of it neatly at the end of his bed.

“Can you remove your undershirt, Fox?” You ask as you settle next to him again, this time opening the satchel and sorting through the various ointments and potions.

“Not without help, I’m afraid.”

“That’s okay, that's why I’m here.” You lean in and slowly help him remove his shirt, revealing a patchwork of bruises, including the angry red ones from his broken ribs. You blink rapidly, to keep your tears from falling, but it doesn’t help. It never does.

His hand moves and cups your cheek, “I always seem to be making you cry, ner kar’ta.”

You sniffle, “Not you, Fox. Never you.”

His smile is slightly rueful, and it becomes a little more real as you turn your head and kiss the palm of his hand. He lowers his arm back to the bed as you start examining bottles. “Palpatine and Vader have been furious for the last couple of days,” He offers, “Have you heard anything?”

You hum thoughtfully as you pick a bottle and start applying the cool ointment to his bruises, “I have, but you’re not going to like it.”

“Tell me anyway.” Fox replies as his voice catches when you press a little too hard against a bruise.

“Sorry,” You lighten your touch slightly, as you consider where to begin, “Palpatine caught one of the Prince’s of Mandalore and the Wizard apprentice to Mandalore.” You explain quietly, feeling Fox tense under your fingers.

“Which Prince?”

You shoot him an apologetic look, “Prince Wolffe,”

Fox closes his eyes and there’s a tremor through his body. You’re not supposed to know that Fox is one of the Prince’s of Mandalore. And you’re definitely not supposed to know that he’s Prince Wolffe’s identical twin brother.

So far as you’re aware, though, you’re the only person outside of Palpatine and Vader who know.

“What happened, ner kar’ta?”

You switch to a different bottle and pour out a small measurement into a glass, “Drink this, it’ll help the broken bones and any internal injuries,” You explain softly, lifting his head slightly so he can drink the elixir without choking, “As for what happened…well, rumor is that Lord Vader helped the little wizard escape from her bonds, and then she managed to break through the protective spells on the tower, and they escaped.”

“And my brother?”

“Alive, so far as I’m aware.”

“Good. That’s good,” Fox closes his eyes, “What else?”

“The Nations are now aware of Palpatine. And Vader.” You whisper.

Fox releases a laugh, “Oh, that’s why Palpatine is so angry. He probably took it out on Vader-” He slowly sits up and twists slightly, before releasing a sigh of relief, “That’s much better.”

“I’m not done,” You fret, your hands fluttering towards the angry looking bruises on his stomach.

He reaches out and cups your face with his hands, “When we get out of here,” Fox murmurs as he leans in and lightly presses his forehead against yours and closes his eyes, “I’m taking you someplace tropic, where you can lay on a beach chair and drink fruity little drinks out of coconuts.”

“Oh? And where are you while I’m getting drunk from coconuts?” You ask fondly, as you continue treating his bruises.

“I’m right there with you. We’ll spend a year doing nothing but relaxing.” Fox murmurs.

“A whole year?”

“Mm. Maybe we’ll go swimming.” He decides as he opens his eyes, “Does that sound nice to you, ner kar’ta?”

“It sounds like a dream,” You murmur, “But it sounds like a dream that I’d like to see.”

He hums quietly, and tilts your head just enough to ghost his lips against yours. He doesn’t allow himself anymore than that, just a brush of your lips against his, before he’s pulling back. “I’ll make it happen, ner kar’ta. I promise.”

You smile at him, though it’s tinged with sadness. You both know that it’s probably never going to happen. “Here,” You reach into the satchel and hand him a sandwich and a fresh fruit, “Eat. I’ll treat the rest of your bruises.”

Fox eats quickly while you finish treating the rest of his injuries, and then you sit back on your heels and slide the treatments back into your satchel.

“...you should go.” Fox murmurs.

“I don’t want to.”

“I know.” He reaches out and lightly caresses your cheek, “In an ideal world, you wouldn’t have to. But I need you to go.”

“I know.” You don’t move for a moment longer, and then you shudder, and carefully get to your feet. You gather your satchel, and make sure there’s nothing indicating that you brought Fox food, and then you lean in and kiss his forehead, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Fox physically restrains himself from reaching out to touch you, knowing that if he does neither of you will want you to leave. “Be careful, ner kar’ta.”

You flash him one more smile, and then slip out of the room, quietly shutting the door behind you, and heading back to the room you share with seven other people.

The following morning begins as it normally does. You, and the other servants, are woken far, far too early to begin your prep work for the day. Food is prepped, and rooms are opened just in case Lord Palpatine has any visitors, which he never does, and then you start your normal daily upkeep.

You manage to finish the meal prep (no one can cut veggies as quickly or as uniformly as you can) and you’re about to head out to start cleaning Lord Palpatine’s trophy room (which is far, far less ominous than it sounds, thankfully) when you’re approached by two members of the Imperial Guard.

As per your norm, you move to the side, to allow them to pass…but they don’t. They stop in front of you.

“You need to come with us,” One of the identically dressed men said in monotone.

Terror grips your heart, but you obediently set your dust cloth on a counter, “Of course.”

One of the guards falls into step in front of you, and the other one right behind you, and they march you through the halls until you're standing in Lord Palpatine’s throne room.

You bow deeply towards Lord Palpatine and Lord Vader, and then you stop moving. “This is the one?” Lord Palpatine asks.

“Yes, my lord,” a different Imperial Guard says.

“Hm.” A rough hand grabs your chin and your head is jerked up so you’re looking into Palpatine’s eyes, “How long have you worked for me, girl?”

“Since Naboo, my lord.” You reply quietly, he releases you and you have to fight the urge to rub at the bruises that you’re sure are forming.

“I see.” He circles you, like a vulture, and your hands start shaking, “Have you any magic talent, girl?”

“N-no, my lord.”

“I see.” Palpatine finishes circling you and returns to his throne, something cruel crossing his face, “CC-1010.” He calls, “Come here.”

Your heart thud painfully in your chest as Fox steps out from a side room. He’s totally clad in his red and white armor, and his face his hidden from you, but you can feel his eyes on you. “You called me, sir?” he asks, his voice carefully masked by his helmet.

“Kill her.” Palpatine orders.

You take half a step back, and your eyes go wide. Fox hesitates for half a second, not so long that anyone other than you would notice, and then he steps between you and Palpatine.

His hands tremor as he pulls a hunting knife from a sheathe on his hip, and he moves closer to you, until you can feel the heat from his body. He rests the tip of the blade against the hollow of your throat, making a small nick against the thin skin there, and then lightly drags it down to rest against your sternum.

“Trust me?” He asks, his voice low enough that you barely heard him despite how close you’re standing to him.

“Always,” You breathe out in response.

And then the blade pushes home, piercing the tender flesh of your chest with little resistance. There’s blinding pain for a moment, and then there’s nothing.

*********

You wake up some time later, tired and in pain, but very much alive. You’re wrapped in bandages, and for some reason you’re outside.

You blink at the sky, twice, not sure if you’re seeing what you think you’re seeing, and then you turn your head to see if you can figure out what’s going on. 

There, only a few feet away from you, Fox is sitting. His hands are shaking and he’s covered in cuts, burns, and bruises, but he doesn’t seem to notice, or care, that he’s staining his armor.

“You’re bleeding,” You mumble, as you try to sit up to help him.

His head whips to the side, and a look of such relief crosses his face that you think he’s about to cry, “Hey, ner kar’ta, you need to lay still. You’re hurt really badly.”

You reach out for him, and he immediately takes your hand in his shaking one, “You’re hurt,” You repeat, your eyes scanning his face, tracing the bruises and cuts.

He presses his lips against your knuckles, “It’s no more than I deserve,” He replies, “Fuck, I stabbed you, ner kar’ta.”

“I’m still alive though,” You point out as you squeeze his hand, “And if you hadn’t one of the others would have.”

“Never should have done it,” Fox mumbles against your hand, “Should have thought of another plan.”

“Fox? How am I still alive?” You ask.

He closes his eyes and presses his forehead against your hand, “I made contingencies, should Palpatine learn about us and try to use you against me.” Fox admits, his voice shaking, “When I nicked your throat with my blade, I injected a potion that put you into a stasis, so when I-when I stabbed you-” His voice breaks, and he swallows hard, “It didn’t do any damage.”

“That’s incredibly clever, my love.” You praise gently, as you stroke his hand. “What happened after?”

“I…uh…I took responsibility for disposing of your body,” Fox says quietly, “And so I took you and I ran.”

“But you’re hurt?”

“Imperial Guards,” He replies, and something grimly triumphant flickers across his face, “They won’t come after us again. Not when I killed six of Palpatine’s Imperial Guards. He won’t risk Vader against me, or himself.”

“So we’re home free?”

“Not just yet, but…” Fox runs his fingers through his curly hair, “We’ll be passing into Mandalorian territory within the next couple of days. Do you think you can sit up, ner kar’ta?”

Slowly, with Fox’s help, you sit up. Your chest twinges uncomfortably, but you’re not in active pain, which you’re sure to mention to Fox. Which does wonders to wash the guilt from his face.

He moves so his side is pressed against you, and his hands slide up to cup your face, and you close your eyes and lean into his touch, “What happens now?” You whisper, your eyes fluttering closed, as you relax against him.

“Now I take you home, introduce you to my family, and we go on a year long vacation where the only thing we have to worry about is getting you more sunblock.” Fox replies.

You smile, and slowly open your eyes, “That sounds perfect.”

“We deserve perfection, I think.” He says.

Your hands come up and you lightly cup his face, “Hey Fox,” You murmur, “Did you know that I love you?” You speak the words slowly and clearly, able to speak them outloud for the first time without having to worry about anyone hurting him.

He smiles and kisses your hands, “I love you too,” He whispers, “And no one is ever going to try and use you against me ever again.” Something dangerous glimmers in his eyes, and you believe him.

You smile at him, all warmth and love, “Good.” You whisper, and you pretend that you can’t hear the knives in your voice. No one would ever use him either. Never again. Not if you had a say in it.

His smile grows into a grin, and he leans in and kisses you, properly, for the first time, his hands sliding around and burying in your hair as he holds you like he’s wanted to for ages.

And you, thrilled to no longer have to hide in dim corridors and rooms that smell of iron and pain, press yourself as close to him as possible. This was all you’ve ever wanted in your life, and now that you have it, you’re going to hold it as tight as you can.

[toomanyplotbunnies-sendhelp]

Hello and welcome to Day 5 of "Let's Explore My Plot Bunnies"

Do you know that moment when you hear an opening from a childhood TV show that you were obsessed with before and your brain is like, "But what if you combine this with this and make it into a fanfic idea?". Cause this is how my brain came up with a Mo Dao Zu Shi Pokemon AU. (The Diamond and Pearl Openings are still my jam to this day)

The AU is not fully detailed in my head (yet), but I came up with two versions for it, so I will just write down some details I already have for both versions:

Ver.1

Edit: As of February 6th, this has a title : "Some roads are not meant to be traveled alone"

Wei Wuxian is a new Pokemon Trainer that just started his journey with his partner Vulpix (Kantonian)

Lan Wangji is a more seasoned Pokemon Trainer (he has been on a journey for at least 2 years) and has an Alolan Vulpix as a partner.

The two meet in Kalos, more specifically in Lumiouse City. WWX wanted to see if he could start challenging the Gyms right away, and his Vulpix got a bit too excited and ran off and got lost.

Lan Wangji is in Lumiouse City for a vacation rather than to start a new journey. His Vulpix is the one that finds WWX's Vulpix. Seeing that the Kantonian Vulpix is very young, LWJ feels anger towards the trainer who let the young fox unattended.

When WWX finds them, LWJ is ready to berate him for being irresponsible, but WWX's "Please never run off again like that Vulpix. I was so scared." stops him in his tracks.

WWX turns to thank LWJ for finding his Vulpix and apologizes for the troubles. LWJ, instead of just accepting the apology, tells WWX he shouldn't be so careless, especially when his Vulpix is so young. (LWJ is kicking himself for saying that) WWX takes offense because he wasn't being careless, nor was he abusive towards his partner.

And so their first meeting is kind of a disaster. That, however, doesn't stop them from constantly meeting around Lumiouse for the next week and then the universe (aka me) decides they should journey around Kalos together. (We all know how the relationship will progress)

Ver.2:

Edit: As of February 6th, this fic has a title:

"Life is a journey you must walk to behold"

In this version, WWX is from Hoenn (Hoenn has a lot of water = Lotus Pier). He and Jiang Cheng have been journeying through other regions (started in Hoenn, went to Kanto and Unova) but this year they want to have an individual journey for themselves.

Jiang Cheng wants to go to Johto, while WWX is going to Sinnoh.

I am on my "Give Jiang Cheng a Shinx" Agenda because just imagine him having a Shinx that is as much of a trouble maker as WWX. (Jiang Cheng's sanity is in danger)

WWX has an Absol as his partner. (The similarities between Absol's lore and WWX's personality make me believe that this is a good pair.) Also, Absol is definitely the one that is more serious and responsible between the two.

Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen are from Johto and their family is well known for being Coordinators.

Lan Wangji has an Eevee that evolved into Glaceon as a partner and has participated in a lot of Pokemon Contests in Johto and Kanto.

Lan Xichen has a Lapras as a partner and is not as interested in Pokemon Contests. He does, however, like to nurse Pokemon back to health and thinks about becoming a Pokemon Doctor.

LWJ wants to go and journey around Sinnoh and learn more about Pokemon Battles (the Lan family doesn't like how trainers that challenge Gyms push their Pokemon so hard, and they are more against Pokemon Battles. In their words, "Contests are a more refined art. Pokemon Battles are barbaric and violent.") LWJ doesn't want to jump to conclusions on that topic, while LXC believes both can be just as good, but it depends if the Trainer is a good person or not.

LWJ, once in Sinnoh, wants to experience a Gym Challenge for himself, so he decides to go to Oreburgh City and challenge Roark, the Gym Leader.

He ends up watching a battle between Roark and WWX instead and falls at first sight for WWX and for his passion for Pokemon Battles. WWX is also very kind to his pokemon, so inner LWJ aproves even more of his choice in love interests.

WWX and LWJ end up traveling through Sinnoh together. (Team Galactic is the main villain that they seem to find/fight against all throughout the journey too)

On the other hand, LXC meets Jiang Cheng and decide to travel together through Jotho, with LXC using this journey to further his knowledge as a Pokemon Doctor and to learn more about Jiang Cheng, who, although says harsh things all the time, is a kind person.

LXC and Jiang Chen end up dealing with Team Rocket during their journey.

There you have it.

This is about everything that I have about this AU. Honestly, I think this one will probably continue to grow in the back of my mind for a while longer before I come up with a title for it and, possibly, even scenes (be it Battles or Contest Performances).

So, what do you think? Good? Bad? Let me know!

I might post some more things later today, but for the moment, I am gonna wish you guys a good morning/day/night.

Till next time,

- TooManyPlotBunnies-Send Help

[fizzigigsimmer]

New Ask Game for Writers 🪷

Very low-pressure rules: Tell me which fic of yours was the most fun to write (if you want to). Like, which one did you have a blast writing? Feel free to share, to rec, to tell us WHY they were fun, etc.

tagged by the amazing @bigdumbbambieyes!

It was a lot harder to come up with an answer for this question than I expected. I have a lot of fun with everything I write, but some fics are more challenging than others. Doesn't make them less fun for me, though and the challenge can be it's own type of fun.

lol so I had to tell myself to stop overthinking it, and surprising even myself I am going with my Harringrove Hannibal AU: He Who Holds The Devil. I love NBC's Hannibal and little plot bunnies for a Harringrove exploration of that narrative had been hopping around in my head for awhile. It's dark subject matter, a serial killer falling in love with an FBI agent and seducing them into the dark...but man is it DELICIOUS! The show lends itself really well to the Stranger Things Universe due to the way it uses magical realism to explore its characters psyche but I'm not gonna lie, writing was tough.

It was challenging because I had to find the right tone so that it felt like the show (Hannibal) which is steeped in prose and is very cerebral, but also make sure it still felt like Stranger Things. I also discovered for myself how difficult it is to give the devil a love story. Violence and death at every turn, but somehow you're still invested in whether they will or they won't find their way to each other.

I loved writing Steve as the wolf in sheep's clothing. A deeply flawed anti-hero who desperately hates himself and is just as desperately trying not to be a total piece of shit. He's an unhealed victim. Broken bad. He's games the system. He toes a line and pretends at a moral code he abandoned years ago. A manipulator, but not yet a predator. He hates that he wants to be.

And I will tell you right now, Billy begs for a chance to be written as THE WORST and still somehow the one character you want to win. The fun I had with this. Hehe I literally stop what I am doing once a day to jot down some little thought I had for the sequel because Billy this way is just SO GOOD. The things he does, and the lengths he's willing to go to purely for the pleasure of doing it had to be horrifying, while also maintaining his humanity. What's more, I had to figure out ways to make the reader question everyone else's humanity - whether or not he's right and we all might just be a little bit monstrous. I live for philosophical debates on morality so this was like a huge playground for me.

So yeah, I got to write Billy and Steve at their worst and most unhinged, while still being absolutely INSANE for each other, and it was a great time.

This was also my first big bang project and I got partnered with two great artists, and @robthegoodfellow came in clutch as a beta reader. And honestly, getting to chat with them, and also everyone on the discord was so enriching on top of being fun. Being able to share the experience with others as I tackled my fear of big bangs was amazing.

my no-pressure tags: @adelacreations @medusapelagia @dragonflylady77 @spaceofentropy

[sobbingdistantnoises]

1. 2. 4. for the writing ask?

1. Do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just tumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road?

100% the latter, I am so bad at endings, which is probably why I don't finish anything D:

With spin wick au, I'm wanting to hopefully actually get an ending for the main plot figured out by thinking without properly writing anything, so...who knows how this will work out. I am still in world building phase for that though :P

I am also thinking of trying to do a silly with Soulless Sam (who I am so normal about by the way. I UNDERSTAND him, I have thought so much about the sort of thought process he follows, it's so great <3) in which rather than a story with proper endings, I do a series of oneshots that portrays elements of how I think he thinks. I think. I have a teensy bit written on a google doc :) Must write more

2. Talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said "frick your plan, here's what we're actually doing."

WELL. ABOUT EVERY FREAKING TIME.

Let's talk about Sam goes to Doom hell though, in which, you guessed it, Sam goes to the hell set in Doom! :D I did not have a proper plan for what was going to happen, (this question has actually made me realize that I can totally continue my planning for it and come up with a proper ending since I'm done with s5 and don't feel like extending it through s6), but I had a part in which Sam was killing these zombiemen demons, and then he (thinks he) noticed that, hey, that's a person he just killed. And then that led him to thinking about burying them or whatever else he could do, which then he put their body against a wall with their gun, which then I realized hey, Dean could use that weapon! So now Dean will go to Doom hell too, as part of his end of s2 demon deal :D I did not choose this

Only tangentially related, but I also have a google doc called "Insert Tangoesque Description for the Game! + also my fricking [cyber security competition I did] notes for some reason"

4. What is the plot bunny you've been carrying around for the longest? Do you ever wonder why you haven't written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

OKAY HM. Most of the stuff that haunts me is stuff I've written a teensy bit of, but I am going to say for this question that plot bunnies are stuff you haven't written at all because that gives a more interesting answer that I otherwise would have never given

Word for word the way I have it written down is "The thing in the satanic bible that said you should have your body mutilated if you defile something and it happens to Dave because he's a satanist" (because of course band people destroyed a bunch of furniture in their careers as band people)

I think about it sometimes. It's kind of a terrifying concept, even if it's not like...full on furniture throwing or whatever, because everybody's "hurt" nonliving things by virtue of accident or "they're not alive to feel pain". Hm. Some sort of metaphor for accidentally hurting people because you just didn't think is in here. Insane fic concept though, just randomly getting psychically tortured for sins against table.

I don't quite experience deep existential dread because there are too many fic concepts for that though, and I am too powerful for evil emotions (telling myself this is how I beat them up :D)

[juniperhillpatient]

For the ask meme: 4, 7, 11, 30, 47 :)

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

Honestly? Before I started Scream AU, it was an ATLA Scream AU! I held onto that idea for YEARS because I wanted to make sure I could do it right - everyone is a suspect, everyone is in danger, & there's a lot of foreshadowing but also a lot of twists. I waited until I felt prepared to do the idea justice, so I've held onto it for a long time. Like, that idea festered in my brain for at least 3 or 4 years. I guess it doesn't count anymore though, since I'm doing it.

Hm... I have a million ideas at all times but one I've had for a pretty long time is Heathers ATLA AU with Katara as Veronica, Azula as Heather Chandler, & Zuko or Jet as JD. Unfortunately, I'll likely never do this one because it wouldn't have Azula/Katara endgame & Azula would die so I doubt anyone who reads my writing wants it.

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

The first fic I EVER wrote? You guys don't need to know about 13 year old Rose's weird Family Guy fanfics, your minds aren't ready. (Also I don't remember & the parts I do remember are embarrassing as fuck lmao.)

Instead, I'll say the first ATLA fanfic I wrote. It's a mediocre high school AU that has Katara/Toph LOL. I was getting my bearings in the ATLA fandom, okay? Also, it is the fic that made the Katara/Azula dynamic take root in my brain even though it's not a focus & I didn't write my first Azutara fic until a bit later lol

11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

I learned a lot about fashion through the ages when I was writing the TVD Au & giving Vampire!Azula a fun wardrobe filled with fashion from the last century or so. Do I remember anything I learned? Eh. But I did a lot of research!

I don't typically do a lot of research though for writing. My laziest trait as a writer is that sometimes I just wanna say "go with it." I entirely based the football stuff in my college AU on the TV show Blue Mountain State. That's not to say research isn't important, that's to say I'm lazy.

30. most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you.

Okay, I really live by the quote "if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do" from Angel the Series which is funny because I'm barely a fan of that show. I've watched it all through once. I'm much more of a Buffy girl. But that particular quote has always stuck with me. I'm a nihilist but I'm also a compassionate person & I think this quote really sums up how I look at the world. I used to be an idealist but my belief that the world can be changed for the better has faded over time. Instead, I just believe in being kind & doing what you can & that's how I take the quote - doing what you can, even when it seems hopeless. That seems depressing but like, it's not to me. You know?

47. what story are you most proud of?

I honestly go back & forth all the time. I feel like it might actually be Happenstance (a modern university ATLA au with a sit com vibe. It takes place over the course of a school year.) I'm honestly just so proud of the character arcs, the balance of comedy & drama, & these versions of the characters & this version of the universe. I put my heart & soul into that project.

Thank you so much for asking! I love playing these games & having an excuse to ramble :)

[seethesunny]

4 what is the plot bunny you've been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven't written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

33 do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

90 do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

Hey Ameera! Thanks for passing by :)

4. What's the plot bunny you've been carrying the longest? Do you ever wonder why you haven't written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

Okay so this is kinda tricky because I HAVE played with this concept before (it's one of my favorite things to write), but the "Ellie is Tess and Joel's bio kid who Tess gave away without telling Joel and things happen like canon requires au" Tess POV retelling fic has been a plot bunny of mine since ages and it's been in my head like a little parasite buuuuut nothing has come out of it? At least not being this /canon adjacent/, that's what I mean!

For starters that idea would be overdone by now (and I'm sure people more talented have tackled it well enough) plus mine was also a mix of a Tess origins fic; she's technically Anna in this, or at least that's what Marlene makes Ellie believe, and she's tied to the fireflies while this is all a secret to Joel and only Tommy is aware but he leaves anyway.

Both Joel and Ellie are clearly oblivious, but Joel connects the dots the farther they travel and Tommy confirms this when they reunite + Marlene was supposed to tell the truth in an attempt to get Ellie back and have the cure (you can't let Tess’s sacrifice be in vain, Joel) yet he doesn't spare her life. The last part is going to be recycled for a segment in whumptober, though.

So it hasn't been made and probably won't be made at this point, I can't promise it will 😅 if you want to be devastated the line: "She gave life to Ellie, and gave her life to save her." Is what Joel thinks while he carries her to the car, and he feels no remorse in keeping their daughter alive and safe.

Also you can have this thingy from a random note app between my grocery list and wifi password:

"You know about your parents, girl?" The teenager shakes her head, avoids her eyes, "Marlene never told you anything?"

"Anna." Tess is so confused, but doesn't need to ask when it clicks; a fake story, a lie just like her own reason to give this girl away. "She only told me my mom was named Anna."

They keep walking, Joel is still ahead of them. She sighs relieved.

They will never know.

It's a bit sad, but it's for the best.

33. Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

Characters first, then plot! If I have no idea what characters are doing and adding to the plot or how they're supposed to fit, then I can’t work at all haha this is why in my outlines I need to specify their importance to the story so it feels satisfying, you know? It's also that my stories are character centric and they're my main focus 🫠

90. Do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

Annoyingly so! Like I said previously, the more I write, the more I influence everything, and that's very distinct to who I am 🫡 I hope it doesn't come off as pretentious but sometimes you kinda notice those small details only after you've written it, and you understand it's very you.

[indygotcha]

Got tagged twice actually by @japanesedragonrider and @mewkwota ! Wanted to wind down today due feeling bit aimless BTW.

Favorite Color: Turquoise Blue and Orange

Last Song: Mindtrap by Blank Banshee - mostly because the lyrics and overall Death Grips-esque tone has ended uncannily befitting the psyche and mood of my latest OC I've been working on. I wanted him to be an inversion of "wet chihuahuas"/"girlfailures" seen in modern anime lately such as Bocchi/Hitori Gotou and Kobeni Higashiyama mainly through examining back to my own past regarding my experiences with ableism-based bullying and shutting off from the world. The OC that came out of that ended up becoming this lanky, "sheltered dog gone through abuse"-type dude - feeling now a lot like Asuka Langley Soryu in mannerisms but wanting everyone to stay the far fucking away from him. Funny how that works.

Currently Reading: Haven't actually been reading much lately aside from assorted fanfics on Ao3. Some really heartwarming, some with varying degrees of spicy. I get easily drowsy reading them though, oufff. Currently Watching: G Gundam and Magical Knight Rayearth - if you've been following my rare occurrence of personal posts on my reblog-centric blog lately. Domon and Sai-Saici + Hikaru and Umi, my beloveds. (WHY OH WHY DID MISS P HAVE TO DIEeeee)

Currently Craving: Not much, I think - but I do miss my sibling, them being kept busy has left me bit lonely regarding genuine familial interactions.

Coffee or Tea: I flip-flop between both? I'm not exactly into ordinary black coffee - I seem to lean on flavoured lattes or cappuccinos more than anything. I've drank milk tea since very young and love all the flavoured types out there~ Something tells me the caffeine ain't working well with my current ADHD-medication however, might have to cut out my morning vanilla latte...

A Hobby I'd Like To Try: I've been trying to get back on drawing again lately, but it's been really hard to figure out the balance between trying to get good at it and just trying to concentrate on drawing things I find fun or like. In some respects I also feel like what I wanna draw for fun are things I can't exactly discuss in enthutiasm to someone and just have to work on in a vacuum - but IDK, maybe I'm really not making most of the support near me? (Though at times I'm afraid people are just too busy to possibly be my accountability buddies of sort regarding me sharing things and hearing their feedback...)

An AU You've Been Plotting: I'm always around mass crossover AUs - I guess because they serve as my personal sandboxes/toyboxes to explore the series I've been into that I can also categorize by medium, genre, or time period. One I've actually been trying to get out for a while now is this long-dwelling plot bunny on my head - with how I've been trying to give it a definite start and end in under 20 chapters or so. The premise with sounds really cracky and poisonously meta - except I've been staying keen on trying to tackle it as sincerely as possible. I guess I'm weird like that. To explain the premise in simple sentence, I'm taking the implied rivalry between Pokemon-anime and Animaniacs during their time on KidsWB and using it as a springboard to make main trios from those shows getting to know each other better after a major incident spurred by the latter party. This also involves a road trip to some kind of china-towny resort for localized anime stars taking a vacation in palmtree coastline-filled roads and beaches inspired by SEGA's Outrun and Hiroshi Nagai's illustrations on city pop albums in the 80s. I'm looking forward to various shows I wanna explore there for this pair of trios to interact with. Other AUs I've been messing around is Jellystone!-esque take on many characters from Golden Age of Arcades. It's been pretty fun to write more humorous, clever or plain irreverent takes on these somewhat simple arcade characters. I certainly like what I did with Ms.Pacman and the Ghost Gang + Mappy & Flicky...

Tags: @hatefilledpoptarts @tomatomagica @ogamagirl @starspatter @jupujuu @kermakatti @rex101111 @basedstoutland @zodiac-senpai @bimbelygimbly @harundraws @sonilium @kiora06 @patron-saints

You can take on this tag if you like~

[talldecafcappuccino]

For the ask game for fanfic writers:

1. Do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just stumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road?

4. What is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

17. What is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

Thank you!!

1. I usually have a beginning and end in mind before I start a fic. Sometimes I realize I need to start a little earlier (I very much try to start as far into a story as possible), but I think my endings usually stay mostly the same, but how to get there is the big issue 😮‍💨

4. Hm…I have a plot bunny that’s set in the Bodyguard AU-verse that’s like…a reverse heist where Ted and his knowledge about a specific era of literature is used to catch a counterfeiter and I know exactly why I haven’t written it: a) I have other stuff I want to write first and b) it’s soooo wacky that it doesn’t even feel of that world (it’s straight up National Treasure) and c) I know that’s not what anyone interested in that universe is interested in reading 😂 Like it’s not the logical next fic if I were to extend that world. There’s another one I’d want to write first that’s actually feels angsty and of the right vibe.

17. I swear I can’t remember a single line I’ve written right now except this one.

One plus one is two.

Ted’s been shot.

There’s nothing she can do to change it.

I remember loving it when I wrote it so it’s stuck with me.

[yoggybloggy]

when i get starting fic ideas for a pairing thats when i know im down bad because i literally never get fic ideas and also i cant write. anyway here's my ppkm plot bunnies. or more like headcanons i guess except one's an au

akarsha doing that thing where you get more touchy feely and physically affectionate with your best friend who's actually your crush but like in a "jokey" way and also to annoy noelle on purpose but also its real. um. hm <3 real noelle "if i hold her hand and embrace her she'll be immobilised" moments in there as well <3 just them getting more touchy feely with each other with passing touches they pretend to pass off as nothing...

in the same vein as above - the early stages of their relationship when theyre getting used to ACTUAL physical affection. noelle's so repressed especially with her internalised ideas abt same-sex relations (lol) she's so uncomfortable at the start and akarsha's also like... feels awkward about it bc its Vulnerability but they both talk through it and work through it together <3 the convo they had about it not "being their style" in my brain... they def get really comfortable with physical affection tho maybe just not pda

au where noelle and akarsha are professional musicians... ok before that heres my hc which is that i think in canon akarsha isn't super into music, its more of a parents making you learn an instrument type thing. thats also definitely true in noelle's case but 1) she definitely started really young 2) she likes it enough to make it her profile picture and i imagine she's pretty good while akarsha's maybe just taken lessons at school for a couple years and is ok at it. thats just my headcanon tho i might be totally wrong

anyway onto the actual au idea. noelle's a pianist who mainly has experience in accompanying for various soloists at the moment, she's really stressed about this + gets a lot of grief from her parents about it bc accompanists have like no prestige compared to soloists... akarsha's a budding new cellist on the scene and it's arranged for noelle to accompany for her for a concert and noelle's absolutely disgusted and simultaneously captivated by akarsha being akarsha LOL she's like "I have to accompany this clown?? This is ridiculous and demeaning" and they go from there <3 eventually they play piano/cello concertos with each other… maybe compose together… become an established duo <3

or it could be an au where they're just music students and meet when noelle gets arranged to accompany for akarsha and similar stuff goes down... or theyre already friends like canon and go to music school together... honestly musicians aus can take multiple forms im just a sucker for musician shit

[mamamittens]

Well, paid a little more love to my newest plot bunny but my workday was plagued with fluffy Nikia/Thatch/Izou thoughts ngl

It's kinda fucking rude how heavily I gotta rely on fanart to get little serotonin fixes for him. Why am I like this?

Anyway, one of them was the interesting idea that Nikia's whole ass island has lycanthropy and Thatch accidentally gets bitten so they have to stick around another month as she acclimated him to his new reality so he's not rawdogging the experience alone. Cute, slightly angsty fluff about learning to live with being a whole ass wolf every full moon and the enhanced senses that come with it.

Another was basically a homeless interaction (by homeless I mean not attached to a particular AU or idea, not literally homeless). Where basically Nikia had been there a while and is teasing Ace when someone makes a smartass comment.

"Careful, the commander's hot stuff but he can't pick up on flirting very well!" Nikia snorts as Ace blushes hard with indignation.

"O-Oi!"

"I'm not flirting with him--no offense. You're cute but like... A snotty younger cousin kinda cute." She chuckles. "If I'm flirting with anyone it's Thatch."

Fantastic timing, Thatch walks by and freezes, his whole world collapsing in on itself a little. Either because he's a notorious flirt who never succeeds or he never realized she'd definitely flirted with him several times.

"Cousin?!"

"Yeah. You're like, 20 or something, right? I've almost got a decade on you, dude. Your like a baby cousin. I just wanna tease you and give you a noogie."

"the fuck is a noogie?!"

Thatch is still frozen solid, eyes wide as Nikia smiles very sweetly.

Too sweetly.

"Oh, cmere, let me show you!" Nikia encourages, managing to get Ace (still flustered about the cousin thing and realizing she's not that close to his age after all). Blushing madly as she pulls him into a soft hug, head tucked close to her chest. "This... Is a noogie."

Thatch is about to protest cause like, fuck, if anyone should be there it's him damnit! But Nikia's suddenly got Ace in a headlock and is rubbing her knuckle in his hair with a cackling laugh as Ace tries to wiggle away. Horrified about where his face is and the embarrassment of it all.

Nikia absolutely abused her bust size to get the drop on Ace who still can't quite handle women who aren't total hags or rude shits.

She let's him go and Thatch now needs to plan his attack.

As much as I like the idea of him being like, a five-continent-Watson, sleeper hit flirt, the idea he's a sad little mew mew around people he's attracted to and trying to score with is very fucking funny. A total failure Casanova, can't get laid in a bar to save his life.

It's funny.

Izou made the first move and has been watching this unfold for ages, feeling so relieved Thatch finally pieced shit together.

[acacia-may]

Hiya Acacia! For the ask game; may I ask for 4, 7, 31, and 46 please 🥰?

Hi there, Lyra! Thank you for the ask, friend!! 💜 These replies got really long so I've put them under the cut.

4. What is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

Since I have way too much WIPS, I am going to take a very narrow focus for this question and make myself choose from plot bunnies I have never written anything for (rather than including any existing wips). In which case, I've got to go with my Langris x Finesse Beauty and Beast AU where the Golden Dawn is all turned into the palace furniture (It's based off the Disney movie (loosely) and Alecdora Sandler made an excellent uptight clock, William was a candlestick, and David is particularly hilarious as a wine glass). I wanted to write this one so badly but just never could figure out how to make it into an actual story rather than vignettes of scenes and shenanigans, so it never came to life. 😭

And yes, I feel deep existential dread when I think about all of my wips and the stories I will (probably) never get to write... 🙈

7. Tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

I think I was "writing" fanfiction pretty much my whole life. When I played make-believe as a little kid, it was always continuations of my favorite stories or putting my favorite characters into AUs. I remember writing some short stories about my favorite book and cartoon characters too, but I'm not sure what my very first one was about. I want to say it was Star Wars because my friend and I wrote this whole series when I was about 9 called "The Adventures of Space Cat" (which was my friend's Star Wars OC: a talking cat who was basically adopted by Luke, Han, and Leia and brought on all their adventures after the end of the original trilogy).

When I was in middle school, I wrote what was essentially Ben 10 Alien Force fanfiction for an epic poetry school project and just changed all of the names and some of the more specific details. This absolute gem (I say with total sarcasm) is unfortunately lost to time but my sister swears she vividly remembers this one particular line that was basically, "Character A paused during the battle because of his trauma and confidence issues" (which I think probably says a lot about me & the kinds of characters that compel me even back then...).

I don't think I got serious about writing fanfiction until high school though when I wrote my big, long Secret Garden epic which was 46 chapters and 176,134 words long (and was going to be a duology so was technically never finished even though book 1 has a complete first draft...) The plot was pretty basic. It was a sequel to my favorite book of all time, The Secret Garden, and (believe it or not) a period romance that took place when all the characters were adults mostly during World War 1. It was split perspective and had OCs as major characters too, so it was, honestly, a really ambitious project.

I made so many changes to it after I had a complete draft so I'm honestly very relieved I never posted it anywhere and just shared it with my friends and family irl. They seemed to like it well enough but...it's a bit of an embarrassment for me tbh as I feel my writing has gotten so much better since then. A friend I met in college wanted to read it but I had made so many changes to the draft & had never finished the 2nd draft so it was basically unreadable (i.e. the beginning no longer matched the ending, random plotlines were taken out and added ect.) so I wrote Secrets and Sugar Mice for her as a little taste of my overall ideas and also to introduce her to one of my OCs (and I actually did post that to AO3 (linked here) if you are at all curious).

Writing that story helped me grow so much as a writer, character creator, and storyteller and I'm so grateful for the experience, but I'm not sure I will ever actually resurrect this project, especially since I'm not sure this particular 100+ year old book has much of a fandom.😅

31. Tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to write

I've answered this here (about one of my OCs) and here (about Black Clover canon characters I enjoy writing), but since we're doing blast from the past here a little, I will give a shout out to very first real OC, Julia, who taught me so much about how to create a character and fit them into an existing world (and as an eventual love interest for an existing character). Some of the most fun I have ever had as a writer was writing her and Colin's quick-witted rivals to friends to lovers plotline. They're both highly intelligent people, strong-willed, and stubborn as heck, and their plotline took place in a hospital (mostly during the war) where he's a doctor and she's a nurse and they are just butting heads about how best to run things at every possible turn. They end up playing up their rivalry because neither wants to admit defeat or that they actually have a lot of respect & admiration for each other and want to be friends. (Secrets and Sugar Mice is about that specifically if you're at all interested).

Here is a short excerpt if I can be completely self-indulgent (just a short little exchange between her and her dad (who technically is a canon character but we know next to nothing about him so he's basically an OC too lol):

Julia stopped abruptly, staring at the medical supply cabinet. It was exactly as she had left it with supplies organized for practical use—bandages next to gauze as they would often be taken together and so on. It only made sense after all—at least to Julia anyway. Some people were of the opinion that it would be better if the supplies were arranged alphabetically.

“Dr. Craven didn’t rearrange the cabinet today,” said a voice from behind her. She turned and found her father, Dr. Louis Cartwright, dressed in his white coat with files in hand. He smiled slightly at her.

 “So I see.”

“He was very busy,” her father explained. “It’s alright if you’re a bit disappointed.”

Her cheeks flushed, but she frowned. “Why would I be disappointed?”

Her father sighed and smiled knowingly at her. “I think you enjoy your little squabble over it.”

Julia could feel a deep blush rising in her cheeks, but she huffed indignantly. She most certainly did not enjoy arguing over the cabinet. It was bad enough that Dr. Colin Craven had somehow convinced her father to move them across the country to work in his hospital, but to then refuse to organize said hospital in a practical manner was even worse. Well, perhaps the rest of the hospital was alright, but this blasted cabinet simply wasn’t practical. She had reorganized it almost immediately, and he had rearranged it right back stubbornly insisting he couldn’t find anything unless the supplies were organized in alphabetical order. She insisted that putting frequently grouped items together saved time and rearranged it again. Then he reorganized it alphabetically again. And so on and so on. This had gone on for months now. It was a matter of pride not something she enjoyed—or at least not something she’d ever admit to enjoying no matter what her father said.

“It’s a matter of principle only, and if this is a sign that Dr. Craven has finally conceded, I would be glad of it.”

Her father laughed—his dark eyes sparkling. “I think it’s more of a sign that he was busy and had lots of patients today. I suppose, we’ll see tomorrow. Unless of course you want to ask him. He hasn’t left yet.”

Julia blinked. As much as she relished the idea of him admitting she was right about the cabinet, she was fairly certain that, as her father had said, this spoke more to Dr. Craven’s workload than to him conceding to her.

“I think I’ll just wait to see. Plus, I think this is a new record for my organization system.”

Her father chuckled quietly to himself but shook his head. “Don’t you think this cabinet squabble has gone on long enough?”

“We haven’t reached a resolution yet.”

“I don’t think you’ll ever reach a resolution this way.” Her father sighed. “I don’t understand why you won’t just admit you want to be friends and find something else to talk about.”

Julia’s cheeks grew hot, but she huffed and shook her head. “I don’t want to be friends.”

Her father raised his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly at her. Julia fidgeted. He could always tell when she was lying. The truth was she wouldn’t mind being friends. In fact, maybe a part of her did want to be friends—but at the same time she barely knew the man, and the little she did know of him was not particularly flattering. Still, she couldn’t help but concede that he was at least intriguing—this heir to a grand estate who spent his time as a doctor in a country hospital—or at least he would be if he was actually sociable from time to time and wasn’t so stubborn.

Julia huffed again. “It’s beside the point. Even if I did want to be friends, he clearly has no interest in making friends with me.” She sighed. “And besides, even if we did try to make friends, I doubt we would even get on—we so often disagree.”

“I think you’d get on extremely well if you got to know each other a little better. You have lots of common interests.”

“Which he never talks about,” Julia protested.

“He’s just shy and…”—Her father paused as if thinking of the right word—“awkward.”

“He’s very opinionated for someone who’s shy,” she countered her brow furrowing. 

Julia’s father laughed, but he smiled kindly. “He is a bit of an odd duck, but he’s a kind person at heart and very generous.”

“Why don’t you make friends with him then?” Julia teased with a chuckle.

Her father laughed. “I already am friends with him, and it’s quite pleasant.”

Julia wrinkled her nose, but her mouth turned up in the corners in spite of herself. She sighed. “I know that you’re very fond of him, Papá, and I can tell that he admires and looks up to you, but he has been nothing but cold and standoffish to me. Arguing about that cabinet and occasionally discussing work related issues is the full extent of our interaction. It’s not nearly enough to build a friendship.”

“I haven’t seen you try to talk to him about anything else, either,” her father countered pointedly before his face softened. “I know he wants to be friends, but I don’t think he knows how to strike up a conversation with you especially since you’re so set on disliking him.”

Julia sighed. “I’m not set on disliking him, but it is difficult to like someone who is so often disagreeable.”

46. what time are you the most productive when it comes to writing?

First thing in the morning or the middle of the night. But I think it changes based on my health and how busy I am. I am a very slow writer in general so it takes me a lot of time in the drafting/outlining stages before I actually sit down to start writing.

[freneticfloetry]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Thanks, Lola! (And T - @chaotictarlos - who also asked.) 😘

1. to build a home (9-1-1: Lone Star) | My favorite baby about my favorite baby. As I finish up the final chapter, I'm so proud of how this fic has turned out. There are so many Tarlos bunnies running through my head (and bits and pieces of quite a few things in various states of completion), but this was always going to be the first story I told, because the world can't have enough Carlos beginning.

2. scenes from an unfinished story (told by the lost and found) (The Magicians) | My first true AU, my first Big Bang, and the first Queliot fic I ever finished. Writing this kind of consumed my life at the perfect time: for the first five months of the pandemic, this is how I distracted myself from the lack of human contact and all the impending doom. And even better, posting it put me on a path to meet some of the most wonderful people in the world.

3. By Any Other (Lucky Number Slevin) | This is one of my favorite films of all time, and I offered to write it for every Yuletide since 2007. When I posted this, there were seven fics in the fandom (and I'm sad to say, the number hasn’t even doubled since), and only one of them had any Lindsey at all. Writing this fic from her point of view challenged me in a way I hadn't been, stylistically, since I wrote And To All A Goodnight. The dialogue, the plot, the dialogue, the research, the dialogue, the dialogue, the dialogue… Lindsey has such a distinct voice, but beyond that, she and Slevin have their own cadence that's unlike any banter I'd ever written. Until I turned in "scenes", I had never felt more accomplished as a fic writer than I did when I finished writing this fic.

4. Shells of a Long-Ago Lifetime (Faces That Once Were Mine Mix) (Supernatural) | Remixes have always fascinated me. With fic, you're already playing in somebody else's sandbox. But remixing someone else's fic is like playing in the sand with someone else's hands. I've never been able to sign up myself, but when a pitch hit opportunity presented itself, I couldn't resist. I had two days to do this, and it ended up being one of the most rewarding writing experiences I'll ever have. I ended up focusing on one sort of stray detail from the source fic I chose, and writing the symbolism and impact of that detail, and it still fascinates me, how clearly tied to the original this is while still feeling like something of my own.

5. Past Perfect Future Tense (The Magicians) | When I first started writing fic (in the year of our lord I shall not specify), I'd always joke that canon was my crutch and I couldn't plot to save my life. The more you do, the more you grow, and my plotting skills got stronger with time. PPFT is still a WIP, but even my outline feels like an accomplishment. Plotting this fic damn near broke my brain, while being intrinsically tied to canon, and it's kind of the best combination of everything I was in the beginning and everything I've learned since.

There are two upcoming Tarlos projects in particular that I have a feeling will take spots on this list, and I can't wait to get them written.

[lavellenchanted]

Fic writer asks! 4, 31, 48?

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

Jumping straight into the deep end, I see! Well, to answer the second part first - I do generally jot down most of the plot bunnies that stick with me for a while, even if it's just a sentence or two, but the WIPs do tend to then languish in my docs and drafts for years.

For example the Girl Meets World Lucaya fic I've posted a few snippets of is something that's been turning around in my head since about 2016, I've had the start of a Critical Role Fjorester AU of Treasure Planet in my docs since 2017 or 2018, and the Thor/Sif Endgame AU I finally started posting I initially started thinking about after watching Infinity War for the first time.

I guess there are two that I've definitely been carrying for a while that I haven't written anything for and they are:

A Jyn/Cassian AU of The Shop Around the Corner with some bonus Han/Leia - the general premise being that Jyn starts working at a small independent shop Cassian's been working at since he was a teenager and despite an initial attraction they immediately butt heads and an intense rivalry develops between them, unaware that they're also each other's anonymous pen-pals. Cassian's also under additional stress because the shop's owner, Bail Organa, who he's always gotten along with suddenly seems to hate him for no apparent reason, because he doesn't realise that Bail suspects him of secretly dating his daughter.

A Final Fantasy 7 Clerith AU of Your Name, with Cloud as the small town boy from Niebelheim and Aerith in Midgar swapping places with each other in their dreams, only for Cloud to realise they're actually three years apart and Aerith died in a disaster when one of Midgar's plates fell - but now he's got one more shot to save her life.

I wouldn't say I'm filled with existential dread when I think about why I haven't started writing them, more existential despair because I know even if I start the chances of me finishing them are like not good.

31. tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to write

I always enjoy writing Peggy Carter - I feel like I've written her so much now that it's really easy to slip into her voice and get into the flow of writing her. And she's really fun because she's smart and capable but can be really snarky at times, and she does it in a very British way that is always a delight for me because it's so familiar.

48. do you reread your own stories?

Yes, I do! I like reminding myself that I do actually enjoy my own writing and I'm good at it. Although I'm always wishing this bitch would update like, god, why does she have so many half finished stories?

fic writer asks

[emilykaldwen]

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest?

11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

17. what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

Fic Writer Asks!

Thanks so much for the question Lil! <3

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

GOOD QUESTION! Hmmmm. Plot bunnies have morphed and changed over time, elements of them being recycled into every new story I write. I think right now the bigger plot bunny/bunnies are a 'Aegon becomes heir' and then there's a Jaehaera live!AU (as she deserves). As for personal writing/original writing, man, I have a list of them but none of them feel very satisfying to me right now. I do have an urban fantasy story I've been sort of poking at.

I do NOT in fact experience any dread about not writing a particular plot bunny or anything. Right now writing is something that I want to have fun with and enjoy myself with, so I work really hard to maintain that.

11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

Ooooh fun research fact? As a kid, I was fascinated about learning about the roman infrastructure (the sewers/plumbing/aqueducts, things like that) but especially the usage and obtaining of clean drinking water and indoor plumbing. In the world of ASOIAF, Queen Alysanne did a lot of work to build cisterns and get clean drinking water to the people (because the way plague could rip through a filthy city this size is no joke) and it's something I like diving into with characters because while the politics are fun, there are absolutely people who are looking at infrastructure and things to better the lives of the people. So it's my shorthand way of showing characters who aren't as pre-occupied with the game playing.

17. What is your favorite line you've ever written?

Oh god I don't know. There's always something in each chapter that I really love. But Alicent's Time stole away kindness line has just always hurt and made me sad.