#i feel like my tiers are more harsh sounding than they are

[earthtooz]

x : BIRTHDAY WISHES ! :*+ﾟ

in which: you get your own surprise on todoroki shouto's birthday.

warnings: FLUFF! 1.8k words or so of it, reader gives deku the middle finger for funsies, BAD WRITING like when I SAY BAD I MEAN C-TIER AT BEST, shouto deserves better but i wanted to get this out in time for his birthday :(, kissing (oh my god... so scandalous), food cw

a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TODOROKI WHO WILL ALWAYS BE #1 IN MY HEART. that's all i have to say, try to enjoy!

you're the first person to wish todoroki shouto happy birthday.

in fact, you've even taken the responsibility of driving to todoroki's residence, ringing his doorbell at exactly 11:55 pm, and greeting him with a sheepish grin when threw open the door a little too excitedly.

"hi," you whisper, holding three bags in two hands; one of them much smaller. it's thanks to the packaging that todoroki realises that it is cake, and the bakery-provided candles beside it are a given.

"hello," he greets back, stepping aside so he could let you into his toasty apartment (well- penthouse, really). "what brings you here?"

"you complaining?"

"not at all," the dual-quirk hero steps towards you to help rid you of your layers. he hangs your scarf and coat on the hanger by the entrance. "i'm just curious why you would sacrifice some much-needed rest for me."

"don't be ridiculous, shouto. it's what friends do."

friends. todoroki doesn't like the way that word sounds on your lips, especially when it's addressed to him.

before he can voice any of the distasteful feelings brewing within, you rush into his kitchen, exclaiming something along the lines of 'i'm almost out of time!' before leaving todoroki to dawdle after you. he does nothing but watch as you take the cake out of its box and stick a few candles in, lighting them with matches you brought yourself despite there being a six foot something tall matchstick right beside you.

your appearance is sudden, but not unwelcome. he likes how at home you seem, how normal it feels to have you beside him to celebrate another milestone of his life.

when you check your phone for the time, you exclaim a little in delight, noting that the time now read: 12:00, january 11.

"happy birthday, shouto!" you exclaim, clapping quietly out of excitement whilst todoroki looks at you with an affectionate smile. one that makes you melt a little, and you fear you'll soon be no better than the candles dripping their wax onto the icing of the cake.

"not gonna sing happy birthday for me?" he asks cheekily.

you scoff, a little embarrassed to sing in front of him alone. if it's anything that will deter todoroki, it'll be your singing. "ask one more time and i'll pack up and leave."

his low chuckle reverberates. "i wouldn't want you doing that." todoroki clasps his hands together, closing his eyes before blowing out the candles in one, swift breath.

"thank you, y/n," he says, sincerity lacing his tone. "it means a lot that you'd go out of your way to do this for me."

"of course," you say, handing him a classic, bakery-issued plastic knife. "anything to make your birthday memorable, shouto."

your sentence means a lot more to him than you'd think.

sharing cake with todoroki shouto at 12:04 am when you both had patrol in eight or so hours was not a point in life you'd ever anticipate being at. as you talk, you try your best to burn this moment into your memory, unsure of when you'd ever be this vulnerable with him again.

todoroki, on the other, non-existentialist hand, was comparing the sweetness of your laughter to the icing of the cake. a sound worthy of giving him another sugar rush, he concludes.

"i did beat everyone to wishing you a happy birthday, right?"

he hums in contemplation at your question, "most likely. let me check my messages."

as your dual-quirked friend fishes for his phone from his pocket, you try not to ogle at his beauty. it's unfair how good he looks, even under the harsh lighting of his kitchen, dressed in his silk pajamas that look irresistibly comfortable. from custom-installed tatami mats flooring every inch of his home to silk sleepwear, todoroki really adores snug things.

"fuyumi, natsuo, and midoriya all wished me happy birthday. midoriya texted at 12 exactly so i'm not too sure who won between you two," he informs you.

"midoriya, hm?" you mutter. "can i text him from your phone?"

"sure."

when he hands over his unlocked phone, you immediately click on the camera button, angling the device so it would be a selfie of you and todoroki. except you direct an unceremonious middle finger to the green-haired hero, sending the photo with the message 'beat you to it'.

"that was rude," todoroki teases, the small smile on his face telling you that he didn't mean any malice behind it. you give him back his phone, a small smirk on his face.

"he'll live," you joke. seriously, you've known midoriya way too long now to get petty over a middle finger. "i got you some presents."

"can i open them now?"

"yeah of course!" reaching for the bags at your feet, you present your first one to him which was, mostly, a gag gift that you couldn't resist buying when you saw it. some part of you genuinely hopes that he'll appreciate it though.

when peeking into the paper bag, todoroki's eyebrows crease in confusion, and it wasn't until he fished it out that his confusion turned into delight.

"where did you get this?" he asks, inspecting it as he holds in up in his arms.

"a local hero merch store!" you begin, unable to contain your giggles. "did you know that a recent toy campaign turned some of you guys into cats? it was so weird- i thought it was a little odd at least, but yours is adorable!"

seeing todoroki, the mystical, dreamy, and devastatingly handsome public figure of the century, hug the plush so innocently in his arms was giving you a rush of serotonin. the resemblance was uncanny too, the cat had a white base with a fair amount of red spots dotting it; kind of like a calico design but only with one colour. the best part was that the cat was seated in a perfect loaf position and if that wasn't todoroki shouto as a cat, you'd be lying to yourself.

unable to resist taking a picture, you're almost tempted to save it as a home screen because of how pure and wholesome he was.

just wait til 'people' magazine sees this photo of their undefeated 'sexiest man alive' recipient.

"isn't it cute?" you questioned, "i was almost tempted to buy one for myself."

"this is really fun to hug." for good measure, he squeezes it in his vice grip twice, grinning whilst doing so. you pretend to ignore the way his biceps flex, stretching his silk sleepwear.

"you should have seen bakugou and midoriya's. bakugou's was so funny, the manufacturer really captured his energy. midoriya's was also really cute- all three were just straight up adorable."

"was mine better than theirs?"

"of course, shouto. anyways, i just thought it'd be funny to give you, if you don't like it then-"

"-i do like it. you gave it to me."

this man is bad for your health. you had to pinch yourself to not scream from how charming he was. one sentence and you're practically gone- it's pathetic.

"okay!" you exclaim, trying to wave away how flustered your face felt from that one comment. "second and last gift!"

placing the cat plushie on the counter, todoroki accepts the gift bag you shove in his direction rather readily, furrowing his eyebrows once again as he goes to pull out the contents. does he know about his 'eyebrow' habit?

"you haven't decorated your place much since you moved in so," you begin justifying, feeling impatient, "i wanted to take the liberty of giving you a few things to decorate your home with."

four photo frames appear in his hands and he takes the time to study all of them carefully. they were all filled with photos of him with friends which you got printed.

you stand rooted to your spot with anxiety bubbling in your stomach at how he'll receive your idea. you hope he liked it - todoroki has never been one for sentimental or daring gifts so you hoped this one wasn't too out of the box.

at his silence, you begin to grow more apprehensive, walking over so you could look at the photos too. "there's more photos in the bag if you don't like the ones i chose-"

"-i love them. you're really thoughtful, y/n."

"am i?" you blabber.

"yeah. these are nice memories. this one of iida, midoriya and i at graduation is making me nostalgic," he mumbles, "but my favourite has to be this one."

todoroki shows you the picture in question and your heart stops beating for a moment. it's one of you and him together from when you went to go see the cherry blossoms bloom. uraraka took the photo if you remember correctly. it's one of your most loved photos.

"i really like this one of us," he comments, reading your thoughts. "i'm glad that i can have this in my house now. these frames are all nice additions, i didn't think i needed them. thank you, y/n, really."

he looks up at you with such fondness it almost has you throwing up, your heart ready to leap out of your chest and land straight in todoroki's hands to begin serenading him. you do, after all, owe singing him the 'happy birthday' song.

then, he unexpectedly stands up, somehow manoeuvring you so that your back was now pressed against the countertop with him hovering in front of you. your escape (not that you needed it) was now blocked by his overwhelming figure.

should you be terrified? because you are. delightfully so.

"there's one more gift i'd like to ask of you," begins todoroki shyly, leaning his hands on either side of you. "if you wouldn't mind."

you were going to explode. combust. erupt. literally detonate and paint his walls with a silly shade of love.

"a little selfish tonight, are we?" you tease, trying your best to keep your cool and- if he kept leaning in closer you were actually going to freak out so if he knew what's best for him he'd-

"can you blame me? it is my birthday after all."

"what do you need?"

the way his eyes glance down to your lips provides an immediate answer. you know he hears your breath hitch because this jester has the nerve to smirk despite the anticipation weighing down the atmosphere.

todoroki's face is millimetres away from yours when he suddenly pauses, his warm hand going to grab your face as he whispers an 'is this okay?' and your only sane response is to kiss him silly.

it's a gentle meeting of souls. not hurried or rushed, simply two humans trying to explore the other in ways deeper than anything physical. with the way todoroki's other hand roam from your waist to your hip, you can tell he is analysing how to support and hold you in the most gentle way possible, studying you like no other can.

with the same passion, your arms wrap around his neck, hand gently tugging at the hairs on the back of his head. the sensation makes him smile. his smile feels unreal against you and you suppose that this a luxury many won't get in their lifetime, not even you can recall how you got here. you just hope he understands how much adoration you have for him.

you want to uncover and understand more of the enigma that is todoroki shouto, but, as you separate from his embrace with the desire for air, you realise that you now have all the time in the world.

"you shouldn't be going home at this hour. it's dangerous," todoroki comments, briefly breaking the dreamy state of your mind.

you chuckle quietly. "i'm a full-fledged hero, shouto. danger should be scared of me," you boast, slightly unsure of how credible your statement is, but your confidence makes the dual-quirked hero smile.

"that's true, but still. won't you stay with me?"

after a faux moment of deliberation, you give in to his pleas with a nod, causing him to smile gently as he begins to lean in again.

before your lips could meet again, todoroki whispers something against them.

"birthday wishes do come true."

[im-ovulating]

Not proofread, or thought out. I just opened the draft and started writing after getting the idea from a gc. Everybody say, "Thank you, Paws!"

@pawspurpaw @alecvolturi @kiiwiigii

It happened because of a joke. A pretty low tier joke too-

You had brought home a new collar for that damned dog of yours, only to jokingly put it on and run off to find him with the sole purpose of hitting him with a singular, 'Woof'. Once you saw you weren't getting more than an unamused, deadpan stare, you had turned tail (ha) and ventured off to put it on the actual dog. What you hadn't known was that the expressionless stare wasn't because Alec is a wet blanket, rather, it was due to the system reboot he had to go through when the sight of that strip of leather around your delicate throat sent a shockwave through him and ignited a primal sort of heat within him.

All of that to explain what brings us to the current scene: you on your hands and knees as Alec pounds into you from behind. His hand is wrapped with the thin cord of a delicate silver leash connected to a pretty pink collar that he's buckled securely around your neck. He uses his hold on the lead to tug and pull you back as you try to squirm away from the overstimulation.

Between your thighs is a sticky mess of your arousal and his cum. It drips obscenely to the silk sheets below as you cry out about it being too much despite the fact that you can feel that all too familiar coiling deep in your tummy.

"Too much?" Alec mocks, giving a harsh tug and momentarily cutting your oxygen intake off. "If it's too much, why are you clenching like you're about to cream all over my cock again?"

Your cheeks burn with a mixture of arousal, humiliation, and exertion. It's a little shameful to admit that it has you teetering even closer to the edge.

"That's it, pet, submit. Submit to the feeling. You're *mine*- My mate. My toy. My pet-" he growls low in his chest as his buries himself deep in you, spilling one last round of cum into your already flooded womb.

Your arms are shaky, your legs jelly, your messy cunt puffy from abuse. And yet you feel yourself tumble over the peak once more. Your arms finally go out and you collapse face first into the sheets, ignoring how the collar digs uncomfortably into the skin of your neck as you strain against the firm grip he holds on the leash. Your mind goes blank as you let out a choked version of his name.

You swear your vision blacks out and your ears are ringing, but through the muffled sound of the world slowly fading back in, you here, "That's my girl... my good, little pet."

[amoristt]

Grazing the Fire | VI

yippee!!!!!!

reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)!

story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!

warnings: language

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-----

The bat is heavy and demanding in your hands. Your mind races behind your eyes- a million concerns shrouding you. What was he going to have you do? You’d seen Nathan do some pretty heinous shit when he was bored, so what exactly constituted fun for him? You roll the bat in your palms, scanning over the chips and cracks in the weathered wood. A part of you worried that this was going to be some sort of hit-man crap- like now that you’d ventured into the next tier of his friendship pyramid he was going to bring you into his bad dealings. He turns to look at you and the sun catches on the expensive camera nestled in his hands. 

All you can offer is a lopsided, unsure smile. 

He guides you deep into the heart of that junkyard, a maze chock full of broken down appliances and soda cans dotted with pellet gun holes. For the first time since summer had begun to settle into shrill fall, you were grateful for the chillness in the air. God, it would have stunk, all those mounds of trash just baking in the heat. 

A sharp, popping echo of glass breaking has you leaping nearly a whole foot in the air, and you whip around with a harsh glare at the source of the sound. Of course, of course it’s Nathan. He’d set his camera down on a tipped over fridge and made quick work to whip brown beer bottles at the ground. With every toss they explode into glittering shards, and you twitch every single time. 

“Would you chill?” He laughs pointedly. “There’s no out here but us.”

“Have I ever been chill?” You grunt, feeling the full weight of the bat in your hands once more.

 “Guess not. Tweaker.” He hauls a microwave up from the ground and settles it on a chest freezer. “Maybe you should take some of that stress out on his bad boy.” He pats it, the metal echoing hollowly, after settling his camera down on an upside down box off to the side. Away from all the danger. 

You swallow. “You want me to hit it?”

“Fucking duh.” 

It takes a long moment for you to consider it. Shifting your weight, feeling your heart rate increase. You never really were the destructive type. 

“Hello?” He waves until your eyes follow his hand. “Come on, hit it! You’ll feel great.”

The microwave's door hangs limply, threatening to fall at any moment. “I fail to see how this is going to make all my troubles go away.”

Nathan couldn’t roll his eyes any harder than he had in that instant. In a moment’s notice, he’s beside you, and then he’s behind you, close enough you can feel his chest clasping over your back. Your instinct is hard- shoving yourself forward despite the raging heat that instantly rose to your cheeks. To your surprise, Nathan doesn’t allow you. He’s quicker than you, grabbing the bat and keeping you in place. Trapped. You’re once more reminded of his height, the inches he has over you. And how those little noodle arms of his hide some serious power.

“Dude, what the hell,” You manage with a surprisingly even voice. 

“Like this.” He drags your arms high over head. There’s a moment where they linger above your head. Your shirt rides up just high enough to feel the breeze over your naval. 

He breathes in, you breathe in. 

He crashes the bat down onto the microwave with you in tow. 

Wood meets metal in an explosive bang and you can feel the exact moment the appliance gives way from underneath the powerful swing. The door clatters to the ground, bolts spring out from every corner, a hefty dent plays right down the center and caves in the empty middle. The vibrations rattle you to your core and sink into your bones, adrenaline greeting every nerve. You blink at the sight of the destruction.

When he laughs, deep and full, you do too.

“See what I’m talking about!” He cheers, and you do. He’s moving like he’s on air now, light on his feet as he backs away and motions towards the microwave once again. “Do it again! Come on, imagine it’s fucken- uhhh,” He taps his forehead, brows drawn together. “Fucken- you know! Those two bitches!”

“April and May?” You blink at him, still feeling laughter dancing on your tongue. When he nods, you chuckle. “I don’t wanna kill them, Nathan.”

“Okay then,” He rubs his face before it lights up suddenly. “Oh! Those two fucks that stole your book of whatever the fuck that whole thing was!”

An unpleasant memory drags through the forefront of your mind. Trying to relax at the fountain, having your very private artbook ripped from your hands and tossed around like it was nothing. The nasty things they said to you. Yeah- you could definitely give those two a whack. Or three.

You’re rearing up and crashing that bat back down before your mind can catch up with your body. More bolts rattle out of the metal frame, and when you swing once more, you relish in the way it cracks under the force. The microwave teeters off the edge before it plummets to the dirt and damn near shatters from the abuse. Coils, shreds of plastic and metal are confetti around its remains. 

Nathan whistles when he peeks over the edge at the sight. 

“I always knew you had that in you. Maybe you didn’t need me that day after all.”

He says it so offhandedly. Quick, mindless. But it rocks you in a strange way that’s hard to place. Mostly because you definitely did need Nathan that day. And also because for just a second you’re launched back to the first moment you saw a glimpse of something other than just vitriolic hate in him. He had stood between you and those two boneheads, unmoving and unwavering. 

All for you. Even though you didn’t realize it at the time. 

“Give it.” He says, arms outstretched. You offer the bat with just the slightest reluctance and he takes it, gets to work without a second thought. z

He nails the tipped over fridge, drives dents into the thick metal over and over again until it craters like the moon. He howls, he laughs like it’s a performance. You step back when he picks up more beer bottles from the ground and lines them up on the fridge, struggling to stand them upright on the dipping surface. When they’re set and ready to go, he swings, hard, and glass launches in all directions as he tears through the line. 

“That’s what I’m fucking talking about!” He cheers. He tosses you the bat and it slams into your chest before you manage to catch it. While you’re getting your bearings back, he’s stacking more bottles. “Your turn.”

You feel those similar nerves rising your chest, unignorably and bubbling, but you step up to the plate anyways. Those slotted eyes follow your every move, all the way from you rearing back and to the very moment you swing with everything you’ve got. 

When you miss, you feel the air leave your lungs. The bat glides right above them, just merely an inch away, but a miss nonetheless. Oh, how Nathan laughs at you. He doubles over and everything, chest heaving with every breath. You cringe so hard it feels like you could die. 

“Keep laughing and I’m gonna hit you next!” 

“Go on, killer.” He motions for the bottles once more, snickering. While you get into position, you can hear him faintly chuckling to himself, likely replaying the moment over and over again in his head.

Running for redemption, you put your back into your swing once more. The bat collides with the bottles so satisfyingly it makes you shiver. It glides through the line like they’re nothing, and the impact sends bursting sprays of glass everywhere the eye could see. It feels so good- feels right deep in your chest. Your shoulders are loose, your heart is light. You laugh and you grin at the man before you like you’d known him your entire life. 

And he grins right back with visible pride. A mentor, a guide to your unmannerly behavior. 

“Okay, I see what you mean now.” Your voice is fast, breathy. “That’s fucking awesome.”

“That’s nothing, light work.” Nathan rummages through his pockets and pulls out a red and white box. He draws a cigarette out, settles it in between his fingers, lights it like a professional. He draws in a captivating breath before it leaves him in a plume of gray.

He reaches out, offers it to you. Though you hesitate, you ultimately decline. 

But you do make a mental note of the day Nathan Prescott tried to share his precious cigarettes with you, a lowly no one in the eyes of Blackwell Academy. There’s something beautiful in the moment, the way the sun catches and glitters off the mounds of shattered glass and broken metal. The clouds dragging over the vibrant sun and the breeze swaying through the many piles of forgotten trash and leaves that were beginning to fade from a true green to a mellow yellow. You may as well have been on top of the world.

Nathan must have felt it too. He plucks his camera up from the box he’d settled it on, routinely boots it up with its hundreds of buttons and takes tasteful snapshots of the evidence of your fun. It prints, see’s daylight for just a moment before he’s shoving it into his back pocket without even sparing a glance. That’s how you knew he was the real deal- he didn’t even have to check. Just knew that it was a good one. A keeper.

The early afternoon draws on just the same. You both work your way deeper into the thick of the junkyard until the piles of garbage are tall enough to box you in, leaving a path of broken glass and metallic shrapnel in your wake. You’re only stopped when you see train tracks yards away, cutting a sharp boundary between the heaping trash piles and green, lush grass. Little ways before the tracks a ramshackle shed-like structure stands with holey walls and what may as well have been a tin roof. Nathan doesn’t pause before he approaches it like you do. Doesn’t have to take in the sight, really absorb the atmosphere. You wonder how many times he’d been in this very spot wasting the day away.

Neon graffiti demands your attention when you’re close enough to see it, cigarettes and crumpled blunt buds seeding the perimeter. A bottle of Jack Daniels rests against the wall, half empty. Nathan drags a puff from his cigarette and toes it with his black shoes, rolls it over and watches the contents spill out with a less than amused expression. The smoke climbs the air hypnotizingly and you watch what you can before it disappears entirely. 

“I haven't been here in years.” He breathes. His voice is low, mellow. Lost in thought and memories. He nudges a snuffed out cigarette on the ground partially buried in dirt. “Before Vic and all the parties and the Vortex Club shit I used to come out here and just chill out.”

You lean the bat on your shoulder, nodding, imagining him all those years ago long before you met him. Before he came the menace on site that was Nathan Prescott. You wondered how he presented himself back then- softer, or perhaps just quieter. A subtle anger that had only really started to fester. He steps into the shed and you follow without a second thought, join him when he leans his boney back against the brick wall and slides down. The interior is overstimulating- dirty, haphazardly decorated with the most college-like shit you’d ever seen. A dart board, stolen road signs, a disgustingly bright yellow tapestry with an elephant etched into the fabric. Streaks of light beam through the gaps of the roof and shine down on a small coffee table. 

You eye the vulgar messages written in black marker while Nathan leans his head back against the wall, huffing out a breath of smoke that makes your nose twitch. Once again, he offers the now half smoked cigarette out to you. 

This time you accept. He doesn't hide the way his lips tug into a smile. The cigarette feels uncannily heavy between your fingers, beckoning you. Your chest feels tight, anxiety rising under your skin for some reason.

“I used to come out here when my dad would chew my ass out.” He rubs his face with the flat palms of his hands, eyes unfocused. “Fucking prick. This one time he made me take this stupid ass role in this stupid ass play and I didn’t even wanna be in and I totally blew that shit. Just fucked up all my lines right on show night. Man, he let me have it.”

You feel your breath stuck in your chest at the sudden venting. Venting about his father, no less. It was sudden, unwarranted. He was opening up to you all on his own without prompting. 

“What happened?” The cigarette still burns, a red glowing halo. 

He shrugs, tosses a rock from the floor and bounces it off the wall across the room mindlessly. “I don’t know. I didn’t even want to be there so when I saw all those people just staring at me- I don’t know. They were laughing at me and I just totally froze up.”

You could picture it if you really tried. Nathan, younger and anxious, locked up on stage with a sea of eyes all glued to him. Muscle memory and rehearsed lines vanishing in the blink of an eye. Pity grows in your gut. 

Pity, and understanding. Your own memories of being younger, up on stage in front of countless people watching your every move flare up in your mind. Your mother was raised in pageantry and made damn sure you would be the same despite your complaints. 

“I can’t imagine you in a play.” You admit quietly. He snorts.

“I couldn’t either. But that doesn’t matter, does it?” He huffs. “Always pushing me into shit I don’t want to do because I'm a Prescott and it’s apparently my job. He even made me sign up for the football and get this-” He turns to face you with a harsh expression. “I didn’t fucking cut it!”

You tilt your head. “Didn’t cut it?”

“Nope! Didn’t fucking make tryouts. But thank god my dad was there to buy my way in, right?”

“You couldn’t say no?” You ask, even though you already know the answer. The picture he’d painted of his father was growing clearer by the second. 

“I said no probably a thousand times. Still joined.”

Your heart falls for him, sinks into your stomach as his walls visibly come down around him. He’s bare, vulnerable. 

“My mom always made me enter beauty pageants as a kid.” You blurt with a dry throat. “I uh-... I remember being up on stage with a face full of makeup feeling uglier than sin. Bunch of grown ass adults judging every micro movement I made. Really did a number on how I see myself now.”

“You ever win?” He asks. 

You stare into the ever burning cigarette. “No.”

“Never?”

You shake your head. “Never. My mom stopped enrolling me after I almost threw up on stage.” He raises a brow, and you sigh. “I had the flu and she made me go up anyway. Show had to go on. But… She was done after that. Never even really wanted to talk about it anymore, either. I feel like I really disappointed her but at least it was over, I guess.”

Nathan stares into his lap. After a beat of silence, he says, “My sister used to be into all that Little Miss America shit.”

Your view of him and his world grows a little wider. “I didn’t know you had a sister.”

He nods dully. “Yeah. She’s out in Brazil. Got sick of my dad and went to go find herself or some shit.” His voice is tense, sarcastic with just a hint of something deeper. Hurt.

“Do you still talk to her?” 

“Sometimes.” He bites at his lip. “She talks to me, but-... I don’t know. She always wants me to get into her self-help crap and it’s just a bunch of bullshit.”

You shift your weight. “Not even interested in trying?”

He scoffs. “If my shrink can’t even figure my shit out, what the fuck is Brazil gonna’ do for me?”

“Getting away from your dad.” You answer bluntly, and he grimaces like he knew that’s what was coming. “Getting away from all this pointless shit.”

“Well if I was gonna’ bounce it wouldn’t be there.”

“Where would you go?” 

Nathan looks at you. Though it’s quick, fleeting, you see something in his eyes. Reflection. Wonder, even. Then he’s back to stone and shoving your question away with a half-assed shrug.

Before you can open your mouth to press a little harder, keep that same energy he’d been so kind to offer, he’s knitting his brows and staring at the cigarette you’d kept so safe and unsmoked in your fingers. He sighs. “You gonna’ smoke that or just let it burn?”

You jump a little. For a moment, you’d entirely forgotten it was there. For such a little stick of paper and herb, it felt awfully intimidating in your grasp. The smoke teased your senses, made your eyes water just a little. With a small, anxious swallow, you let out a soft breath.

Fuck it, you think to yourself.

You suck at the end and watch the red halo burn into a rush of red as thick smoke fills your mouth. Blowing the smoke out into the cramped room, you cock your head. No coughing, no ache in your chest. Just the rough taste of tobacco. Not what you’d been expecting in the slightest.

Nathan laughs at you.

“What?” You ask, knitting your brows together. 

“You have to actually smoke it, you know.” He snickers. “Like, breathe it in.”

You frown, cheeks reddening. “I just did.”

“No, you have to breathe it. Into your lungs.”

So, you try again. A little less nervy this time. You drag the cigarette up to your lips and suck, feeling the same flood of smoke fill your mouth. But, this time, you breathe into your waiting lungs, expecting it to be just the same as before. Oh, how wrong you were.

The very instant you heave in that breath, the smoke assaults your lungs and you’re sent into an instant coughing fit. It burns, it feels like it shreds your chest and throat, heaving coughs striking you as you struggle to get in another breath of air. Bursts of gray sputter from your lips like a broken tail pipe. Every breath hurts and your eyes water, fat tears rolling down your cheeks. For a moment, it feels as though you’d never get your breath back.

A flash of white blinds you for a second, another sense grabbing your attention. The mechanical sound of his camera reaches you as he prints a picture and shakes it to develop. 

“You fucker-” You struggle to speak, gasping for air. “T-Throw it Away-!”

Nathan just plucks the cigarette from your fingers, pockets the picture and laughs even as you shake your head. “Gotta make sure we keep the memory!”

“I feel like this is a blackmail moment.” You manage. You could only imagine what the picture looked like- you in all your virgin-lunged glory, red faced, puffy cheeks with billows of smoke entombing you. 

You’re still steadying your breath when Nathan plucks the cigarette from your fingers and draws in an effortless hit. It’s like he’s doing it to tease you- straight faced and lax meanwhile you were pawing away the tears in your eyes with heavy lungs. The settling never comes, your breath never fully returns from its shaky state, and you can’t help but wonder if it’s due to the hide-out being now chock full of thick, swirling gray. It takes a lot to ignore his snickering when you’re bounding off your ass and heading for the door. 

Cold air hits you like a bolt and slices through the assault in your chest. Finally, finally you suck in a full breath of precious air. The door swings open, then shut, and Nathan’s beside you once more. 

“Gonna’ make it?” He asks without bothering to hide the snark in his tone. 

“I think so.”

“How’s it feel to lose your cig virginity?” He asks, grinning slyly.

“It feels like lung cancer.” You answer flatly. 

Nathan shrugs. “It gets easier.”

You’re about to answer, but you’re stopped at the sudden bellowing song of a train's horn. It echoes from the distance, grabs both of your attention. A train barrels past through the valley of the trash, only mere yards away. It scares you for only a moment before you’re enamored in the colossal machine. Rocks and pebbles bounce to life as it hauls past. 

“Sweet,” You say breathlessly, watching metal and graffiti blur by. “I knew the tracks were close, but I didn’t realize it cuts right through here.”

Something draws you closer, and you follow it like a moth to flame. Eventually you’re so close, daring to inch a few feet away, the colossal beast howling in your ears. 

The wind picks your hair and clothes up, flutters it around you and has you closing your eyes as it rips past. It’s like nothing you’d ever felt before- a certain ring of adrenaline. You don’t notice it when Nathan snaps yet another unsuspecting photo of you, but you do notice the bullseye of the camera staring right back at you when you open your eyes. You also notice the expression on Nathan- one you hadn’t seen yet. Focused, and yet, softer than that. Fondness, almost. All aimed directly at you. It’s when he realizes you’re looking that you physically see his edges reharden. He straightens his back and blinks at you. 

“Another picture?” You shout over the deafening noise.

“Can’t waste a good opportunity.” He calls back, very of matter of factly, but you see the way he swipes the picture from his camera and drinks the sight in. You can tell the shot must have been a good one with the satisfied nod he gives subconsciously. 

The train is gone just as quickly as it came. It bellows in the distance as it disappears, taking the serene moment with it. Suddenly, once more, the world grows silent. 

“How do I look?” You reach out to grab the picture but he’s quick to swipe it from your grasp, rears back and crams it in his pocket. A frown draws over your lips. 

“Like shit,” He snarks. “That’s going on a christmas card for sure.”

You’d hoped he’d give you a passing glance given you were the subject but clearly he had no intentions of that, the photo long since disappearing in his jacket with the ongoing collection of pictures he’d snapped so far. It eats at you, in a way. Worries you. You knew his snark- surely you couldn’t look that bad. But…

What if you truly did look awful? You were never a fan of having your photo taken- always felt so awkward and out of place. So forced. You hated the idea of existing there in his pocket, or potentially in some binder, forever ugly and immortalized.

But then you remind yourself how he’d gazed at the picture with such softness, like it was perfect from top to bottom. A certain passing glance of appreciation you never knew you craved. 

Birds sing overheard, the clouds lazily draft by the sun just enough for a chill to creep up your spine. For a lingering moment, the two of you just stare off into the endless blue. But then that moment too, passes. You grow cold- you clutch your arms and goosebumps ride a shiver that tingles its way up your spine.

“I’m going back in.” You say. Nathan perks up, haloed by his cigarette’s trail of smoke. 

Despite the brick walls, the hide-out offers little warmth, but it’s enough. While you linger, he finds his spot once more wordlessly, languidly falls back against the wall and slides down until he’s nestled in his spot like he’d done it a million times before. He probably has, now that you think about it. He’d probably spent years in that exact spot, drawing on gritty walls and smoking the whole plot out. It makes you think about him and his past, what was once a blank canvas in your mind slowly adorning strokes of color and painting the picture that was Nathan Prescott.  He draws in a hit of his cigarette and tips his head back to sigh it back out. You wished, in that moment, you had a camera of your own. You want this version of him to stay. 

It sort of does, in a way. For that day at least. 

Because time drew on just like that- tossing bottles at the rubbly ground to see if they’d break or bounce, Nathan burning through his sticks of tobacco and you refusing with every passing offer. The sun hangs heavy on invisible strings and lowers to the treeline, peaks through the splintered roof and stripes gold along his pale skin. You both talk about nothing and everything. At one point, you make a joke, and he laughs. Not a snarky, bitter laugh. Real, deep in his chest. A hearty sound that lanced through you like lightning and settled in your gut with a truly pitted realization: you’d give anything to hear more of that.

You’re both so enthralled in each other's presence that you barely register the way the sky had melted from a bright blue, into a purple and red haze glowing hot over the horizon. Crickets sing in place of the birds, a crisp breeze picks up once more, reminds you that it’s getting late. Though it pains you, you’re the first to call it a day by standing up and stretching your arms high overhead. You don’t miss the way Nathan’s shoulders slump just a little- just enough when you grab the bat and hoist it over your shoulders. He’s reluctant, doesn’t move until you nudge his foot with your own, and even then he moves so slowly you can’t help but wonder if he’s stalling. 

“Got places to be?” He grunts, standing and grabbing his camera. 

“Sure do.” You follow his saunter out of the hide-out. “In my room, in bed.”

“Seriously? It’s barely even 8.”

“Gives me more time to think of why I ditched class today.”

Nathan gives you a sideways glance, guiding you through the junkyard. “I got one. It’s called not giving a shit.”

Easy to say when you don’t have to worry about your future. You think. But then, you kick yourself mentally, because you know that’s not true. You know he worries- now more than ever. You press your lips into a tight line all the way to Nathan’s truck. Always the gentleman, the boy opens the door for you and motions for you to hop in. 

His driving is just as reckless back as it is on the way to the junkyard, giving you the urge to grab the handle on the door to brace yourself. The camera in your lap is heavy and you can’t help but want to fidget with it. So, naturally, you do. You can’t help picking it up and pawing at it like an uncultured beast. 

“Break it, you buy it.” He says nonchalantly, and you cringe. Thing probably costs more than your life was worth. 

Upclose, you can see just how many buttons and dials cover all the settings. It feels more like a computer than a camera, the high technology of it making you worry the slightest mistake would have it glitching out in your hands. It makes sense- of course Sean Prescott would ensure Nathan had nothing but the best. Or maybe, Nathan had bought it himself with his old, old money. It probably wasn’t even a splurge, just a simple staple of their lifestyle. 

You glance over at him, the pompous heir. He’s drawn another cigarette and it rests between his lips, left arm slung out the window. Your eyes follow the shape of him, his broad shoulders down to his right hand wrapped around the steering wheel. The way the sun graces the outline of him captivates you. This time, you do have a camera.

“How do you work this?” You ask, pressing a random button. The camera lights to life in your hands. 

Nathan, without looking over at you, says, “You press the button, that’s how.”

“Awesome.” You can see him through the little digital screen. He looked beautiful, picture perfect. The ocean makes a wonderful landscape. Your finger dances over the countless buttons, and then, click. The camera shutters and in the blink of an eye Nathan glares at you so sharply you wonder if it gave him whiplash. All his attention is ripped from the road and funnels onto you and that damned camera. It spits out a photo and drops into your lap. 

“What the fuck,” He huffs, swipes hands on the steering wheel and swipes at the picture. “Don’t fuck around with that thing!”

You pull the picture away from his grabbing hand, grinning. “Nope! This one’s all mine!”

“It’s my camera, dipshit.”

“Too bad. Wanna trade? You can give up the one of me smoking.”

“That one’s mine, too. Now hand it over. 

You pretend to give it some thought. Let him marinade while you hold the picture just barely out of his wiry grasp. 

“I’ve given it some thought, and, well…” You sigh dramatically. “No.”

“You fucking bitch.” He shakes his head and grits his teeth. “What for? Huh? Gonna show it off to all your little friends?”

You open your mouth to retort, but then you stop for a beat. 

Friends.

“First of all, what friends?” You scoff. “Second of all, it’s a good photo! You should be thanking me. I even got Arcadia Bay in the background. It’s gorgeous.”

“Gorgeous.” Nathan rolls his eyes. “Where? Behind all the drug dealers and phony ass hipsters? 

“Nathan, you’re a drug dealer.”

He eyes you. “Still stands.”

Your eyes fall, voice softening. “Arcadia Bay is pretty.”

You don’t see it, but he tosses his attention to the water spanning broad over the evening horizon. “I guess the water’s not too bad.” He admits. It’s enough to perk you up, a faint smile tugging at your lips. 

By the time he turns off the coastal road to something more winding, it’s well past curfew. In the forefront you see the looming building of Blackwell return to your vision. Your stomach sinks just a little realizing the day truly was coming to an end. He turns off to the dorms and nearly whips into the parking lot before he slams the breaks, white knuckling the steering wheel. You lurch forward in your seat at the sudden stop- grabbing hard onto the camera so it can’t go plundering to your feet.

“Dude! What?” You huff. 

“Madison- that fucking freak!” Nathan sneers with narrowed eyes. You glance over the stretching parking lot and feel a pit settle in your gut at the sight of Madison standing at the boys dorm entrance, arms crossed and standing tall as ever. You knew exactly what he was looking for, and it was sitting right beside you. 

“Fuck, we’re way past curfew. He’s gonna ream us.” You murmur.

Nathan chews at his lip, drills his foot onto the gas and speeds past the boys dorm and towards the girls. “If he’s gonna stalk my ass, at least be subtle about it. Fuck it. I’ll just drop you off and crash at some friends.”

“Stay at mine.” You’re blurting out the words before you can even stop yourself. So quick it shocks you. 

“What now?” He turns his entire body to you, seemingly just as surprised. 

You nervously fidget with your fingers, swallowing hard and scrambling for a way to explain yourself that didn’t show your obvious desperation. “What, do I not fit the ‘some friend’ criteria?” 

“You’re inviting me in?” He raises a brow. “Last time you couldn’t get me out fast enough.”

Last time. You remember it in flashes- being backed into the corner of your own dorm and witnessing first hand Nathan’s flashes of raging emotions. Feeling the full brunt of him box you in, nowhere to go. You remembered how terrifying he has been. 

And how exhilarating it had felt. 

You swipe your tongue over your lips. “I’ve slept in your room how many times now? I’d feel like kind of a piece of shit if I didn’t offer you this solid.” 

Nathan eyes you suspiciously, a look you’ve come quite familiar with. But then it softens. “I mean, if you insist. Better not get all weird on me, though. No drinks, and minute I start feeling dizzy it’s over.”

“Jesus christ.” You grunt with a sharp eye roll, masking your relief. “Now why the hell would I need to do all that?”

“I dunno. I don’t know what weird shit you’ve got going on there.”

“Homework and self loathing.”

Nathan snickers. “Then honestly, I think I prefer the roofies.”

You shove his arm and he laughs again, pulls into a parking space in the far corner of the lot and rolls the windows shut. Quick thoughts pester at you, poke at your brain and bounce off your thick dome of a skull. 

What if someone sees him? There were already so many rumors floating through the narrow half of Blackwell, your name echoed and drug through the mud with every passing day. It was new to you- a strange form of popularity. It made you want to bury your head, go back to the days before college where you were a proper nobody with nothing to offer to anyone except a few sarcastic zingers here and there from the back of the class. It was easier back than. 

You chew at your lip in thought. 

It was strange to have your own name tossed back at you from total strangers. Back in highschool you worked hard to withhold a reputation that was held deep below the radar. Quiet, unintrusive. Nothing to see or hear. The lack of attention was lonely, sure, but it was worth it when you saw what happened to the few friends you had with louder prescenses. There was safety in the isolation. You’d witnessed vulgar names scribbled on their lockers, their papers smacked from their hands in the hallways. Always had to watch over their backs simply because they had a voice and the heart to do something with it. Despite the raging seas behind your eyes, you kept yourself so at bay that you lacked any depth at all to the observing eye. 

But, from your very core, you were nothing if not a bitter, repressed spectator. 

So now you had no idea how to navigate these murky waters. If not for Nathan, you’d be lost floating in the void that was the first stages of social suicide. Outcast from your friend group, a vicious sexual rumor. To know it was all founded on lies made you want to tear out your hair. 

But, you didn’t. You barely even barked let alone bit and then you let Nathan handle it- and he did it with ease. Vindictive, impulsive and brazen ease. You knew it the day you saw him fighting out in the school's parking lot, and you still knew it now: He was a force to be reckoned with. 

And you were sitting in his truck, inviting him into your room. And he accepted. 

So maybe, truly, nothing else mattered but that. 

You watch Nathan mindlessly as he pulls his keys from the ignition and leans on the steering wheel before he grabs a small shoulder bag from his back seat. After fishing the pictures out from his pocket, he tosses them in the bag alongside his camera. 

The trip to your dorm went smoother than you’d thought. You’d guided him to the far side of the building where your trusty window remained open, barely open enough to notice but the perfect amount of room for you to wiggle your fingers into the opening and haul it up. You crawled in, dragged Nathan and his lanky limbs through, and made your way to your room. To your shock. Nathan took the lead. Led the path to your own room and leaned on the frame waiting for you like he’d done it a million times before. 

The moment you unlocked the door, he was shoving inside with no hesitation as if he owned the place. He takes in the state of your room, immediately judging you. There was an unmade bed, and a few posters on the wall. A TV mounted on a shitty little coffee table against the wall across from your bed and a small computer desk that held your cheap laptop in its wooden hands. A pile of clothes rests in a tipped over hamper, a cluster of papers scatter over a nightstand, some laying discarded on the floor. You own a single stuffed animal and it sits in proud display among your crumpled blankets- a little brown teddy.  

What a mess.

“Wow.” He says flatly. You swallow.

“I haven't had a lot of time to clean.” You say quickly. “And to be honest, I’ve been fucking exhausted.”

“It’s better than last time. Less crackden and more of a… Slightly better crackden.” He grins. “A crack home.”

The scoff that leaves you doesn't go unnoticed by him.

Nathan makes quick work to start sorting through nearly everything you owned after he sets his bag down at the edge of your bed. The first victim was your nightstand, to which he rudely ripped the drawer open and began pawing through the random items you'd tossed in. Half empty packs of gum and crumpled receipts were swiped to the side to reveal even more junk. Next was your computer- the mouse being jostled to spring your screen to life. 

Luckily there wasn’t anything too tantalizing- just the home screen of Blackwell's online site and a few youtube tabs. In that moment you realized this was simply a taste of your own medicine- payback for you dragging his glove box open and sorting through his shit like you didn’t have a care in the word. Turns out, he was right. It is pretty violating. 

There’s a moment where you almost stop him when he plucks the stuffed bear from your bed. Your hand moves at your side just barely, just enough for him to see.

“What are you, five?” He snorts. 

You frown.

“It’s, uh… My grandpa’s. He gave it to me before he died, and I didn’t feel right tossing it.”

It’s shocking when Nathan pauses at that. You fully expected him to laugh at you, toss it to the floor, do something just so painfully and evilly him, but… He doesn’t. He looks at you with a blank expression and then eyes the bear, gives it a subtle squeeze before he’s tossing it back on the blankets without a word. The mental image of his definitely existing heart grows larger in your mind. The canvas in your mind earns another stroke of vibrant color.

“Well now, what do we have here?” A stack of movies by the tv catches his eyes. He fingers through the stack, which is comprised of a few horror movies and early 2000’s comfort shows. “Didn’t know you were into slashers.”

You shrug. “You never asked.”

Before you know it, he’s standing and tossing a DVD case onto the bed. Scream 2. 

“Put it on.” He damn near demands, and if you weren’t already a little excited at getting some movie-time in, you’d have wanted to smack him upside the head. But, alas. Scream 2 is too good of a movie to pick a fight over, and you also don’t know if you’ll get this chance with him again. You’re almost positive that watching a movie with Nathan isn’t exactly a commonplace in Aracdia Bay.  

While you’re getting the movie started on the tv, he’s busy behind you making sure to get nice and comfortable in your bed. He even takes his shoes off and tucks himself under the blankets, and you try to not zero-in on the fact that he’s getting his outside clothes all over your washed sheets. He probably wouldn't even give a shit if you did fuss. The animal.

But you can’t deny the buzzing thrill you feel under your skin when you settle in beside him, keeping plenty of room for jesus. This was different then the other times you’d slept side by side. This was something… Softer. Something more intimate in a way that almost made you so nervous your stomach was churning. This time, relaxing together, enjoying a nice movie and warm blankets, it was all intentional and wanted. No anger, no bitterness. 

But then you remember how, even with all that, you’d woken up with him wrapped so tightly around you that one morning it was hard to breathe. His fingers pressed into your skin, his face nuzzled so perfectly in the crook of your neck. The morning sun warmed your skin. It felt like how a painting looked- so perfect in every little detail. It almost felt like a dream. 

With each passing adventure, you grew to accept that somehow life was determined to draw you two together, even despite the different worlds you lived in. Though the battle was hard, you felt like you were winning, worlds bleeding into each other just right. 

You’d made it out of the woods and into that beautiful, scorching sun. 

The movie starts, and you both seem to let yourself melt into it. 

-----

You hadn’t realized you fell asleep until a loud, shrill scream rips you from your slumber. 

Your stomach plummets into your guts, heart thrashing in your chest, damn sure that someone must be getting sliced and diced somewhere in the halls. But instead of a gruesome blood bath seeping under the crack of your door, you’re instead met with your TV screen. The color floods the room, basking it in disorienting waves of red as some poor woman on screen chopped to bits. You rub at your eyes and wipe away the dreariness before you start rummaging through the blankets to find the remote. You don’t find the remote, but you do find Nathan. 

He’s out cold, passed the hell out on his back with his arm thrown over his face and everything. The steady rise and fall of his chest helps your heart rate fall back down to where it belongs, your nerves beginning to settle. You peek around the edge of the bed, wondering if maybe it’d toppled onto the floor. Once again you find something else- this time in the shape of a bag. It lays on its side, items scattered about haphazardly. You realize you must have kicked his bag off during your minor fit, so begrudgingly you drag the warm blankets from your legs and let yourself sink to the floor. 

The thought of rummaging through Nathan’s personal goods doesn’t even strike you until you pick up a plastic bottle, bright orange with a little white label. Diazepam. Another little bottle catches your eye and you grab it, too, without shame. Risperidone. You hadn’t heard of the second, but you had heard of the first. A sedative, you were pretty sure. Your heart falls just a little even though you knew you shouldn’t be shocked. This was Nathan, afterall. Dude has problems. You knew he was seeing a psychiatrist, but for some reason you hadn’t considered him medicating himself. You wondered if it was his choice or his dad’s, a desperate attempt to regain control over his son.

You tuck the bottles into his bag and try to ignore the heavy feeling in your chest. The rest of the contents were to be expected- his keys, some receipts, a little baggy with a few unlabeled pills and then of course his trusty cigarettes. You’re about to zip the bag back up when something slightly under the bed catches your eyes. 

Photos. Quite a few of them too- a small pile of outside shots. The first few were shattered glass and the unfortunate remains of the day you two had had. And then two more.

The first polaroid is exactly what you were afraid of: you, wrapped in a veil of smoke, eyes squeezed shut all red-faced and sputtering. It was everything you had been afraid of since the moment you saw the flash go off. You’re so tempted to tear it to shreds but you refrain- long enough to take note of the other picture. It’s heavy in your fingers, eyes scanning over the image before you. 

It punches the air from your lungs. 

It’s you, again. But it was different this time. Your hair flows around your head like a crown, the train blurring by grabbing leaves and wind. Your clothes ruffle as it drags by. The photo he’d taken at the junkyard. It was perfect, the composition just right and the timing impeccable. And you. You never considered yourself on the pretty side of the scale, but you couldn’t stop the wonder that struck you staring down at that picture. 

You never looked so beautiful. You looked so alive. 

Your eyes travel up the side of the bed, where you peek at Nathan, this man you let into your room and welcomed into your bed. The stark contrasts of him between things not exactly inherently good or bad. His eye for perfection, his urges to destroy. Between the drugs and the outlandish ability to make you see yourself as something worth photographing for the first time in your life. How he cursed at you with every other word but insisted on keeping this little laminated version of you close to him. 

The garrish, raging fire inside of him with a soft, blue core. 

Quickly, you tuck the photos back into the bag. Even the ugly one, that suddenly doesn't seem so ugly anymore. You pick the bag up and set it on the nightstand, revealing the remote. You can’t help but laugh. It really did feel like the world was aligning to draw you closer to him- like not falling in love with him wasn’t an option anymore. 

The bed is more than welcoming when you crawl back in. He’s so warm beside you, and even warmer when he subconsciously wraps himself around you. Your heart stutters, breath caught in your throat. It’s just like the other morning in his dorm, caged against him like a willing bird. He hums breaths onto your neck. His heart beats rhythmically against your back. It’s perfect, and you sink into him like you were meant for it. Like two little puzzle pieces with frayed edges planted into the wrong sets.

Like even if the words hadn’t been said, you were his lover. His girl.

[midnightmah07]

Boundaries.

As I talk more to people on this platform I feel a bit of a necessity to state some boundaries just to be safe

- please NEVER refer to me as the b word or anything offensive like that, I can handle aggressive humor with people I get closer with but I don't like when people call me these things even if it's playful.

- if you can avoid curse words please do so!! I personally don't like them because of my religion, so if you can avoid speaking curse words near me I'd appreciate it! This is not a hard rule as I won't mind if you curse a few times, but if you have a really dirty mouth please try to tone it down when talking to me.

- please use tone indicators when making jokes that you believe may be mistaken for something rude, especially if we're not that close.

- I don't mind hearing ramblings, I love seeing how excited people talk about their passions, but please ask if I'm comfortable with you doing so beforehand and be careful with how often you do that.

- please do not flood my inbox. I don't mind people coming to my inbox frequently but if what you're sending me can be talked either in DMs, comments or reblogs, do not send me billions of asks. It makes me uncomfortable and honestly makes my blog a huge mess. If I come to my inbox and see like 10 asks from the same person I will not answer.

- on that note, I may add that you guys do not info dump about your OCs 24/7. I do like hearing about other people's OCs, but a lot of the times that's literally the only thing they're talking about. I'm not a dumpster, I'm a human being with my own interests. If you're just coming to my inbox to dump your OC's lore, and it starts feeling like a monologue and not a dialogue, I'm just not gonna answer until you start talking to me normally again. I'm sorry to sound a bit harsh, but it's tiering when people only talk to me to dump about their OCs.

- don't look down and badmouth my religion in any way, shape or form. Being a Christian is the most important part of me and it defines who I am as a person, so please be careful with what you say. Also, my views, beliefs and convictions are and will always be dictated by my religion, I will not attack you for believing something different from me but respect is a two way street, if you attack me for saying stuff accurate to my religion and faith, you're getting blocked.

- don't talk about political issues with me unless you're willing to be respectful. I've seen a lot of friendships being torn because of how different their political views were and I'd hate that to happen to me and my moots. In fact, if you can avoid this talk, please do so. If you must know my stance politically, I mostly align with conservative values.

- unless you were rude to me or attacked me, if you see I have you blocked/soft blocked, it's probably not personal. This is the internet so I will block/unfollow people who post stuff that make me uncomfortable/I don't think what they're saying is correct. Doesn't mean I don't think they're a good person, just means I don't want to interact with them. I have NOTHING against them if the day ever comes that I block/unfollow someone on Tumblr "at random"

- don't talk about anything nsfw/explicit with me. I might not be a minor but this type of talk still makes me very uncomfortable. If you send me something in my inbox that's nsfw/explicit I will delete it and pretend to not see it, however if you do it because you want to make me uncomfortable or if you do it more than once I will block you.

With that all said, feel free to talk to me whenever you want, just be mindful of these boundaries :))

[sibyl-of-space]

oh my god so a while ago i submitted the amadeus demo to a certain not-to-be-named indie event, not really expecting it would be accepted but figuring it's worth a shot and either way i get feedback. right.

now i have had... mixed... experiences with the particular group putting on this event. i think they do some genuinely awesome work and provide an invaluable service, but the overall community still feels wholly unprepared for anything even remotely artsy or weird. like even though it's an indie scene it feels very normie core. i don't even consider amadeus that artsy or weird, but i am occasionally reminded that i may have a skewed frame of reference compared to a lot of folks.

(a few months ago i attended a narrative feedback thing with them that was such a dumpster fire it pissed me off so bad i went and wrote 43790248932 paragraphs about it on here. like just genuinely some "have you, like, ever read a book?" tiers of utterly baffling "criticism." one of them pointed out to me that i may not have considered this, but Amadeus comes off as slightly rude. ....NO FUCKING SHIT.)

anyway. i submitted the demo because i figured the feedback would be useful, i can use any positive quotes in future trailers, etc. i have as of today learned that the game didn't get in and also received the promised feedback.

first of all i think it says a lot that from seeing in the email "we regret to inform you," my response was oh thank fuck. I don't really want to deal with tabling at an event cuz I have other shit going on and would rather focus on finishing the game since I've just made a lot of decisions I'm excited about; they also didn't get these responses back far enough in advance to actually prepare tabling materials if I HAD been accepted so it would have been more stress than anything else. I've also been salty at things like the above narrative feedback debacle so I was absolutely just like "this is completely fine with me."

But I made the mistake of reading the feedback provided and now I am going insane again.

TO BE FAIR! SOME OF THE FEEDBACK IS GENUINELY THOUGHTFUL, I may take or leave a lot of it, some of it raises good points I've already addressed, some of it clearly understands what I'm going for etc. I appreciate all of that.

But man some of this is pissing me offfffffffffff.

Some quotes that are making me particularly want to kill someone:

"When first meeting the witch the dialog is just incredibly long and boring and I ended up skipping through most of it. Given how linear this story seems to be, I think it would be better suited as a webcomic or a motion comic, not a visual novel."

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD NOVEL MEANS. JESUS CHRIST.

I am extrapolating a hint of potentially meaningful feedback from this which I'm already addressing (the personality of the Witch in that conversation should come through more than it does) - but this person gave that "feedback" in the douchiest most insufferable way possible. Luckily for them, I've since made that conversation even longer. Fuck off.

"Some of the music is very harsh and dissonant while being very repetitive, which made me less enthusiastic about listening to it."

This was the same person which just tells me they have no taste. Like hmm I wonder if there was an intentional reason I am using dissonance in the soundtrack about someone going through something insanely fucked up. The repetition is an understandable critique even if I'll be ignoring it, but "some of the music is harsh and dissonant" is not a valid critique. Soundtracks aren't supposed to just sound like nice flowery music all the time, or at least not good ones. I'll be making the full soundtrack more dissonant just for you.

"Is there a reason for the Amadeus's bracers to be colored in but not the rest?"

[different person] THIS . THIS. F. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

NO. THERE'S NO REASON. I TRIPPED AND FELL AND ACCIDENTALLY ONLY SOMEHOW ENDED UP COLORING HIS ARMS IN EVERY SINGLE ASSET THAT DEPICTS HIM BY ACCIDENT SOMEHOW! THANK YOU FOR CATCHING THIS OVERSIGHT! SILLY ME!!!! IM TEARING MY HAIR OUT

"Not all of the music is equally fitting. There's at least one track that gets a bit techno."

yeah and im adding another track inspired by Bad Taste Aquarium from Sonic Adventure and another one that's basically GoldenSlaughterer 2. girl help I'm being "critiqued" by lame people with absolutely no taste

im so glad i read this after i finished moving my to-do lists to a new project management platform and getting really excited/motivated about where i'm at with the game because if i had seen this 2 days ago it would have just fucking killed my motivation. man. it's literally so hard being the only person with #vision

[evildilf2]

Evildilf2’s opinions on newish goth bands

Molchat Doma: awesome, refreshing, simple but danceable. S tier.

She Past Away: up there with Molchat Doma in terms of good goth bands, love how cold their music sounds. They should come to Ohio FR.

She Wants Revenge: they have a handful of bangers but let’s be real most of their music sounds the same. Tear You Apart is fantastic but I can only stomach so much formulaic heterosexual lust in an album. Overall, they are MID.

Lebanon Hanover: a lot of their songs are corny AF but I respect it. Gallowdance has a great sound & I totally get why it’s blown up so much in the past year or so.

Vision Video: REDDITTTT REDDIT

Jah PHNX: I didn’t like them at first but their music has grown on me, I really like the soft voice of the vocalist & how it pairs with the instrumentals… excited to see what will come of this project & can’t wait for an album drop.

Twin Tribes: they are better than okay, I wouldn’t call them mid but they aren’t one of my favorites. I like Fantasmas enough that I wanted to see them when they came to Ohio this fall but I had class -_-

Harsh Symmetry: I liked Mirror Twin a lot when it came out, but I don’t know. His music isn’t bad but it doesn’t really stand out to me, kinda derivative yk.

French Police: I liked their album Haunted Castle, pretty decent, standard darkwave.

Blind Seagull: pretty sweet, nice to listen to while tidying up my apartment. I like the way they incorporate more “trippy” electronic noises into their darkwave songs… I’m always looking for fast paced electronic music yk

Plastique Noir: I think they slayyyyy & their latest album is pretty good… “Asleep in the Night Train” is infectious to me I love it. Wouldn’t put this band up there with Molchat Doma & She Past Away though.

Boy Harsher: really good sound but I feel their songs should be shorter. I always end up listening to like 2/3rds of a track and getting frustrated that it hasn’t resolved yet, which detracts from my enjoyment.

[slickchickchocolatier]

HHP - Chapter 5 pt 2 (18+ MDNI)

Part 2 below line.

Eyes widening, you were stunned at the voice of Heeseung’s “Ethan” side, noting that while he may not have been full Ethan, he was definitely a lot closer to being full than he ever had been in the past. Your body began to shuffle as you felt nervous at the mention of “painful” and “not your night”. You didn’t know how to take those words, but the vibe gave you an eerie shudder as you attempted to escape from under him, yet remained attached to him and stuck under his large frame as he trapped you in.

You barely got a word out as you whined out for him to pause, but it was interrupted with his harsh kiss, his tongue infiltrating your gums and cheeks internally. Nearly ripping your dress, he pulled it an off your body, attacking various regions of your nudeness with his mouth as he placed a palm over yours to keep you somewhat quiet. You couldn’t help but moan into his hand, while he was being entirely too sinister with his words and his warning, yet the feeling of his tongue coating your breasts, arms, hands, and thighs with his saliva was giving you immeasurable pleasure. The sweet yet wretchedly hard kisses he placed inside your thighs is what had gotten you to become overly loud with your moans.

Your voice couldn’t comprehend what your brain was saying, unable to form words let alone statements coherently, you were rendered helpless as all you could do was moan and whine out in overstimulating pleasure once Ethan’s kisses made it’s way at the center of your cavity. The slit in between the folds of slight plump lips, centered at your milky thighs caused your voice to quake as the shakiness was accompanied by the vibrations of your legs.

Sure, you had intercourse with Samuel when you were dating, and as it had already been established, nothing about your sexual experience with the latter could be compared to then one you had with Heeseung and his Ethan. It wouldn’t be fair to your ex to compare, seeing as how you never felt orgasmic pleasure like you had with the man who was violating you with his tongue. It was the first time you ever received or a sec, and my God, he was doing it so good, fucking you with his tongue so thoroughly well.

When it came to submitting a woman to sexual pleasure that is beyond reproach, Heeseung and his Ethan was top tier as you recalled Vicky’s mentioning of him being the best.

The kisses became light and faint, almost barely there as his lips gently tapped into the center, causing you to moan in a vocal cord that signified you wanted more. Your hands gripped his forearms as he held onto your thighs, the sound of the sweet gentle smacks of his lips against your opening enforced you to tilt your head backwards. Your voice filled the room and only became louder as he continued. Amidst his assault, you heard him growling against you, feeling the hot vapor of his breath against the smooth and bare skin of your cavity.

“See baby, I’m not heartless. I do what I can to make it less painful and scary. Heheheh.” His deep and low chuckle frightened you, though you don’t know how or why as he spoke in between kisses, which made you feel an escalated state of euphoric eroticism as he began to separate your center lips with his mouth, burrowing his tongue in as his lips simultaneously parted and closed in a kissing motion against the sensitive part of your womanhood.

Feeling his hand release its grip from your thigh, he reaches down, the tips of his fingers trace their way towards the center where his tongue drenched you to the very bone. Starting with one, followed immediately by two, he inserts his fingers inside as his mouth latches right above your opening, flickering his tongue against your clit, slowly and tenderly at first, but soon transitioned to fast and vigorous in momentum.

Screaming from the intense sensation, it was nothing you’ve ever felt before. Uncontrollably, you dug your fingernails into his skin as they remained latched on his forearms, it wasn’t your intent, but the marks on his skin began to slightly bleed as you scratched and continued to dig, though it didn’t seem to have any effect on Ethan, as you noted of his continued performance without admitting so much as a flinch against your reaction.

Thrusting his fingers, the speed increased as his mouth remained suctioned onto your most sensitive part. You continued to scream, occasionally able to say his name, though there were moments where you weren’t even able to say it fully as his tongue would become relentlessly harsh against you, causing your clit to slightly swell up. He did it on purpose, he wanted to hear you struggle in speaking out, sounding vulnerable.

The pleasure started to become too much as you shook and tried to break free, this was the first moment where the pain started to hit as overstimulation took over. Tears began streaming down your face as you felt him smirk against your center, followed by him digging the tip of his nose into you, almost as if he was trying to penetrate it through.

Admitting a few more kisses, you felt him finally break away from between your legs.

PART 3

[jessjustplay]

Final Fantasy X-2 Game Review

March 30, 2024

I know this game gets a lot of hate and even when it's not "hate", I still find the comments to be generally harsh. I promise, it's okay to say something nice about X-2. No one is going to hurt you!

Battle System

I love the battle system in this game, it's fun and fast-paced. Final Fantasy X-2 relies on Garment Grids and Dresspheres for battles. Dresspheres are the names of the class jobs (Black Mage, Thief, etc.) and they each have a unique look for each girl. Most of them have the same abilities for all 3 characters, but a few of them (like the Festivalist and Mascot) have unique abilities for each character.

Garment Grids are a game screen with nodes where you equip the dresspheres onto, then you equip each character with a Garment Grid. Whatever dresspheres are on their equipped Garment Grid are the jobs they are able to use and master. Mastering a dressphere means that you learned all of the abilities and skills on that specific dressphere.

Yuna, Rikku, and Paine make up your 3-person party. The HD Remaster version has something called "Creature Creator", and from what I understand, you're able to have non-playable characters and fiends in your party. I've never used it though, so I have no idea what it's like. I couldn't imagine playing this game without YRP as my party.

Characters

The Gullwings is a sphere-hunting group comprised of Yuna, Rikku, Paine, Brother, Buddy, and Shinra. They are a silly bunch, each adding their unique flairs to make a well-rounded character group.

We meet many NPCs throughout our journey, many who will be remembered from from Final Fantasy X. The game adds a lot of new characters too, including leaders of groups and factions that have sprung up around Spira.

When played to completion, you are able to see how the threads of each person connect to one another. Even if you don't get 100%, you still see the bonds between them all. Granted, you really need to do a lot more than just the initial Hot Spots! That's the thing about this game, you can miss so much if you don't know where to look.

Gameplay

The game is built with a completion system. While the battle system gives you a lot of freedom, the narration of this game is greatly dependent on doing things in an exact order. This is not the kind of game you play on a whim. You need a strategy guide or at least a 100% completion checklist. It is so easy to miss completion points, and when you are only using Buddy's location list as a guide, you will miss a lot of things!

You are also given a lot of on-screen options which will greatly affect future events, to the point of blocking off complete locations. Nothing is necessarily a wrong choice, but if you want "100% Complete" in one playthrough, there are definitely wrong choices!

While I can see how needing a checklist can make the game feel like a "chore", since you're looking at a to-do list, I think the reward is worth it. (I also just really like lists. *shrug*) My point is, using a guide guarantees you won't miss anything!

And I suppose I'm stressing this so much because I watched a gamer play Final Fantasy X-2 for the first time on Twitch. She did not follow a guide and, not surprisingly, she was unhappy with the game and admitted to not understanding the story.

I used the Final Fantasy X/X-2 HD Remaster strategy guide by Brady Games and I used this 100% completion guide on GameFAQs as well as this one by KG21.

Graphics/Art

The game looks great and has one of the nicest menus I have ever seen in a video game! I think the menu is clearly defined and organized well. The outfits in this game are top tier and I always love seeing the transformation scenes (but only once, because we have battles to win!). I made a video just talking about the looks of Final Fantasy X-2, you can watch it here: Dresspheres Critique [video].

Music/Sound

One of the best soundtracks in the Final Fantasy series, and hands down the prettiest main menu/title menu theme. Yuna's Ballad is also very beautiful, the battle themes are fun, and I actually prefer the Besaid Island theme in this game than in Final Fantasy X.

There are two vocal songs: Real Emotion (the upbeat intro song) and 1,000 Words (the beautiful, melancholic song played later in the game). I think the movies that play with these songs are some of the prettiest scenes in the game! The music also helps highlight the Songstress dressphere.

Also, at the start and end of each battle, the girls have one-liners either pumping each other up or congratulating their win. They will also say something when a new event happens, such as when they acknowledge their first time wearing a dressphere. Paine in particular is quite funny when she first dons the Tonberry Mascot dressphere. 🤭

Overall

I love this game. I think it's adventurous, sad, mysterious, reflective, and inspiring. Yes, there are silly moments sprinkled in, but it's fine. This is a different time than Final Fantasy X! After all, Sin is gone.

While Sin may no longer attack, in his wake he left behind a haunting in the hearts of Spira. Individuals and communities are no longer connected from the universal fear they once felt, the glue that tied them together as one.

In Final Fantasy X-2, we see the people of Spira dealing with this new freedom from fear, joining groups to find identity and life purpose. From The Gullwings' perspective, specifically playing as Yuna, we witness Spira's grief, hatred, confusion, friendship, and healing, not just from those in the present but from the past, too.

As mentioned above, it's a story that plays out best when as much of the completion points can be achieved.

[boysplanetrecaps]

Build Up, Ep 5 Recap: The Neglected Performances

Welcome back to the one of the top twenty best Build Up recaps out there! In the previous one, we saw an adoring junior take on his senior. In this one, we’ll talk about the four performances that MNET saw fit to skip almost completely. 

So yeah, MNET saw fit to just unceremoniously fly through a total of four performances in less time than they spent on most of the other single performances. I’m so mad I feel like I could spontaneously combust. Where is Junyheok and Yeo One’s fire extinguisher? 

MNET spent about a minute per round (ie, less than 30 seconds on each performance) but I’ll go through a little more carefully. 

First up is Hyukjin and Jeong Inseong versus Lee Minwook and Jang Intae.

I’ll remind you who everyone is as we go along, since MNET hates all eight of these guys for no reason.

Hyukjin is from an unfortunately VERY nugu group called Fave1. He was in the Power group, V22, the one who sang that heavy metal sounding song. I mean, he frickin’ went for it, I’ll give him that. He wore that red suit on the first day. He performed in the Kajima Kajima (Don’t Go) group, and was made Low Tier just because everyone else did a bit better, not because he did badly. He seems to have lightened his hair a little bit since the Pre-4 round.  

Jeong Inseong is from a group called KNK. He was a V6, in the Allround section, and I remember really liking that first performance (my notes just read, “ooh, I like!”). He was in Breath, and along with Hwanhee, was sort of a go-to backstage reaction king during the whole Pre-4 mission. We didn’t hear what the judges thought of his performance one where or the other, but I thought he had a smooth, rich voice. 

They’ve decided to sing a song called Still Love You, originally performed by Lee Hongki and Yoo Hweseung. If you watched either You’re Beautiful (the Hong sisters k-drama) or Produce48, you’re familiar with Lee Hongki; he was Jeremy in You’re Beautiful and he was the cool, Japanese-speaking vocal coach in Produce48. But of course, you might know him as a member of FT Island. Hweseung was on PD101 Season 2. Now he is the main vocalist of N Flying, and I think he has a glorious voice. So yeah, I like both these guys.

The song itself isn’t my thing, but that’s fine, it doesn’t have to be. The lyrics are just typical K-ballad material -- “I love you and I’ll miss you and I will never forget you but I nobly hope you’ll be happy” blah blah. You know the drill. 

Full version here.

My thoughts:

Overall, I actually like their version better than the original. I’m not a huge fan of the song itself, but I like the way they sing it. 

Hyukjin is the weaker of the two vocalists, which is a bummer because I root for anyone who gets less than 10,000 views on his MVs. He still has a very nice voice. He just has a bit of sharp nasality occasionally that kind of spoils his tone. He also could slightly improve his agility. His straining high notes at the end were not… great. On the positive side, he has a really nice natural vocal color when he’s not straining, and he has excellent pitch and breath control, allowing him to hold -- and control -- long powerful notes, as long as he doesn’t push the high pitch too hard. I wish he’d sing more in his lower register, because that’s what I think sounds best. 

I really like Inseong’s voice. It doesn’t quite give me the tingles like Jay’s voice, or Neon’s, or Euibin’s, but it’s so nice. It’s just so rich and nice to listen to. He varies his dynamics, singing softly and cleanly sometimes, and loud and powerfully other times. He uses just the right amount of vibrato for my taste. I just think he’s a great singer. 

Their harmonies sounded really pretty; you can hear both of them, so they’re blending just right. 

Ok, so let’s see what we see on the show. 

The editors made sure to include Hyukjin’s not-too-great high notes. Sigh. They get an 87 from Wendy and a 65 from Jaehwan! Way harsh, Tai!

VCG says, “You should have made the best use of your weapons, but since you used it too often, it didn’t seem like a special move.” I assume he’s addressing Hyukjin, and I think I get what he means. Hyukjin kept the emotional level at 11 the whole time, and didn’t really vary up his dynamics. I think that’s kind of how the original version of the song goes, as well, but maybe they could have adapted it a little more. 

Poor Inseong. He sang so beautifully. Even if that one high note of Hyukjin’s wasn’t great, poor Inseong got dragged down with him. 

Next up is Minwook and Intae. 

Lee Minwook is from a group called Newkidd. He was in the Soul group, V9, and you guys, that little performance has been living in my playlist ever since. He wore a bunch of vests, including that bright blue vest that sort of gave gym-class jersey vibes. I really like his voice, but I guess the other guys didn’t because he was tied for 33rd in the vocal check in. He ended up in Something Like That, where the judges praised him effusively and he was chosen as Top Tier. 

Jang Intae is from the Allround group, V31, and is one of the mysteries of the show. I don’t even know his age. He actually came in last in the initial vote after the vocal check in, with only 5 votes. He was in the Every Moment group, along with Bain and Seunghun from CIX. Unfortunately, I haven’t exactly loved his singing on the show so far. In my opinion, his voice is quite nasal, and he lacks both agility and breath control. Solar disagrees with me, though; she voted for him as Top Tier (everyone else voted for Seunghun). 

The song they’ve chosen is Universe by EXO. This may shock and amaze you, but I really like this song. What? ME? LIKE A SONG BY EXO? WHAT NEXT? 

Anyway yeah, it’s a great song. Sure, the lyrics are basically the same as those of most k-ballads -- I lost you but I’ll look for you forever, blah blah -- but the chords are complicated and interesting and there’s a drive and power to it that make it feel authentic. Plus they look like this:

Was there ever a more delightful concept than just “they’re dressed for fall and holding steamy mugs”? Sigh.

Anyway, I’d be scared to sing this song because the original was sung by some of the best vocalists in the world, but I really like Minwook, so let’s see what he can do!

Full version

Mostly, very nice, and since my ears can’t help but compare them to D.O. and Chen and Baekhyun and Suho and Xiumin and Chanyeol, for me to say they did well is a big compliment. I do think they were both a bit nervous. This is still really nice, but their soft notes were shaky for both of them. 

Intae did better than he did the other times I’ve heard him, and Minwook didn’t do quite as well as other times, so they ended up a balanced pair.

Intae, left, and Minwook, right.

Minwook starts off a bit shaky. His tone is very pretty, but he actually hits the wrong note at about the :27 mark in the Youtube version. If you haven’t listened to the song 1000 times like I have, you may not notice, but I noticed, and I feel like the judges might have noticed too. (I thought about it -- was that a purposeful change on his part? And all I can say is that if it was meant to be purposeful, it doesn’t SOUND it, so the effect is the same.) His belts on the chorus also seemed a little harsh and out of control. But his natural vocal color is really nice, and he has a nice way to him, where he’s not overacting or straining all the time. 

Intae was still a bit nasal for my taste, but less so than other times I’ve heard him. He also uses more vibrato than I prefer, but not all the time. He has a lot of power to his belts and 

Their harmonies sounded really great, even the ones I think they worked out on their own that weren’t in the original song. I think they were smart to drop the octave right after that one long note. 

In the brief glimpse we see of them in the actual show, they look great. We only get a tiny bit of commentary, and it’s from Solar, who gave them their high score of 96. It’s not clear who Solar is addressing, but she tells someone -- maybe both of them -- “you have a great voice, and your manner and style of singing is also good. I think it was even better because you created it together.” Again, Solar is the same one who voted for Jang Intae in a previous round. She just really likes him for some reason. Seungkwan gave them their low score of 78, but we don’t hear from him.

We get the final score, and it’s 543 to 589 in favor of Minwook and Intae. If you do the math and subtract out the high and low scores, the average score of the other five judges was 83 for Minwook and Intae, and it was 78.2 for Hyukjin and Inseong. 

Round ten! Ding Ding!

Next up is fan favorite and Boy’s Planet survivor, Lee Hwanhee of Up10tion, paired with soldier and Pixar character Jo Hwanji. Hwanji isn’t dressed as a soldier today; he and Hwanhee are both wearing leather jackets instead, and Hwanhee has decided to a 90s scene girl looking choker. They’re going up against Lim Sanghyun and Taewoo.  

Team Hwan-hee-ji has decided to sing Four Seasons, originally by Taeyeon of SNSD.  Here’s the Full version on Youtube.

My thoughts:

Ok, I’m not the biggest fan of jazzy singing, but this seems really nice. They seem to be enjoying what they're doing and it comes across kind of classy and cool. 

I think Hwanhee uses a tiny bit too much vibrato for my taste here, and he gets a tiny bit shrieky, but it feels like a stylistic choice. Hwanji’s voice is so clean and lovely except for his kind of painful shrieky high note at about 2:57 in to the Youtube version. Neither of them are nasal and both have good breath control and sense of pitch. They also brought bounce and interest into it with their facial expressions and dynamics.

They did a thing where they sang one line back and forth to each other, and it kind of makes sense when you know the lyrics are “We longed for each other / We got sick of each other.”  And their cute punchy harmony section right after that sounded great. 

The MNET edit is downright cruel. It makes it seem like they did that “trade lines back and forth” the whole time, but that was just one little part. The on screen captions say things like “the two voices do not sound in harmony.” Who writes these captions? What are you talking about? 

We find out that their high and low scores were 79 and 69 respectively. I don’t get what the judges are annoyed about. It just feels like they were tired and cranky here in tenth round, really. Because 79 high and 69 low feel punitive. Are you really saying that they were worse than Woong and Seokhwa?  Yeah, Hwanji had that one bad note, but come on. 

Wendy gave the high score of 79, but we don't get to hear from her. VCG, who gave the low score, says “I couldn’t hear the lyrics. ‘I’m good at this’, ‘this is how good I am,’ ‘This is how high I can go and I can sing a little jazzy,’” he says in a mocking tone. “I think it was a performance that only showed your skills.” 

Genuine question: Were they not supposed to show their skills? What were they supposed to show? I’m confused. If they hadn’t shown their skills, you would have said “I wanted to see your skills.” What was bad about showing their skills? What is bad about showing that they’re good at this? 

Also, I am far from fluent in Korean, but I could compare what they were singing to the lyrics I found online and I didn’t get lost along the way, so they were pronouncing it well enough for *me* to understand them. 

Hwanhee and Hwanji take their bad scores with grace. Hwanhee has been on dozens of these shows by now and is just like, sure, whatever. 

Next up is Lim Sanghyun and Taewoo. They both performed in the Beautiful group. I enjoyed Sanghyun’s soft, gruff tone, but couldn’t quite get behind Taewoo’s “YG” style with its sharp, nasal tone and swaggy affectations. 

They’re singing Downpour, the song I.O.I. used as its sort of “goodbye” before it disbanded. The lyrics mark it as a fairly standard k-ballad about a breakup, comparing the sadness of a breakup to a temporary downpour, but it has a lovely melody. Fun fact: It was co-written by Woozi of Seventeen!

Full version without reactions

My thoughts:

I still am not really on board with Taewoo’s style of singing, though I think it would have a time and place. It’s not that he’s a bad singer; it’s just that I don’t much like the manner of his singing. He does this little sigh thing at the end of each line that is very YG feeling and not something I like, and he is unpleasantly pitchy on his falsetto and shrill when he employs his mixed register. Note to note his voice can sound really different, and some of the ways it can sound is nice, but he’s affected and stylistic when I think his natural color might be his nicest voice.

Also, why don’t people open their eyes? What is this singing with your eyes closed thing so many of them do? And I’m aware, they probably don’t have completely closed eyes, but if that’s how it looks on camera, then… they should be aware of how it looks, right?

Sanghyun is still more my style. His voice is just so soft and pretty in a smoky kind of way. He does kind of drop off at the end of lines sometimes, but not all the time, so I won’t hold it against him or anything. Sometimes his voice reminds me a little of Baekhyun’s, so that’s a compliment, right? I really don’t have a lot to say just because it’s such a nice voice -- not nasal at all, not pitchy, good breath control. None of the bad things, all the good things.

I do actually think their voices sound nice next to each other, but I wish Sanghyun had a different partner. 

In the MNET edit, we see a few moments with the caption, “A stage with very different voices but good harmony.” They get a high of 100 and a low of 85, so it’s pretty clear that they’ve won. 

We can’t see which judge gave them which score, but I assume that Solar may have given out the 100. We get to see her saying, “When different people come together like this, a truly unique team will emerge. That’s what I felt watching the performance.”

The final score is 641 to 515, which is just… ouch. That means that Hwanhee and Hwanji got the second lowest score of the whole round. It was just unnecessarily harsh for no raisin.

If you take out the highest and lowest scores and find the average of the remaining scores, the other five judges gave Team Hwan-hee-ji an average score of 73.4, and gave Sanghyun and Taewoo an average score of 91.2.

Well, I’m so glad we spent so much time watching Geonu and Soomin make up a handshake, and watching Inhyuk and Joohee smack talk, and had instant replays and reactions drag things out the whole time, and wasted time with people wondering what the score would be just seconds before the score is actually shown, etc. 

Imagine if we’d used that time to watch the SINGING on a SINGING SHOW that would have been TOO MUCH SINGING FOR A SINGING SHOW PLEASE I only want to watch people MAKE UP HANDSHAKES AND SMACK TALK ON MY SINGING SHOW The word “SING” stands for “SMACKTALKING IS NOW GOOD” and “MUSIC” stands for “MAKING UP SHAKES IS CRUCIAL” I guess

Why do I watch these MNET shows?

Oh yeah, that’s why. 

Ok, I’m going to cut it off here for now, and my next post will be an Elimination Special! See you then!

XOXO

BRP Unnie/Noona

[celestie0]

nooo I completely agree with you about ttpd

I feel like a lot of the tracks sounded too similar and there wasn't much experimentation (??)

which I think is a problem with the whole double album thing SWIFTIES DONT COME FOR ME I LOVE HOW SHE GAVE US TWO ALBUMS LIKE THANKS FOR FEEDING US MOTHER but idk I feel like there could've been more effort put into the instrumentals and because there were just too many songs she probably didn’t have much time to focus on each of them (assuming that she originally planned the double album thing from the very beginning)

still a pretty banger album tho but I deffo expected more

- 🫶anon

(pt2) ok wait maybe I shouldn’t be too harsh on her bc I saw someone on tiktok say they’re terrified of taylor retiring soon and that comment made me scared too 😕

yes yes i agree w you def on how there wasnt much experimentation!! at least that’s how i fell about most of the first half :/ like…the instrumentals were really boring and just generic synth pop, also her vocals were sooo flat like i was kind of scared ab that bc i felt like her vocals on speak now tv were a lil lackluster as well (like theres no change in inflection? or ig the attitude in her voice she used to have that kept it lively? i get a more laid back singing style works for some songs but she be singing like that a lil too much for my taste hhaha)

there are exceptions to this though in the 2nd half, like imgonnagetyouback vocals were SO GOOD i loved the way she articulated the lyrics in that one. but overall 2nd half of album was a lot better n more experimental n risk taking than the first half, and the songs that i DID like were like top tier swift imo haha but a lot of the songs i just dont care for at all

but yea totally agree w you i think w this album she did a lot of quantity over quality?? like if she honed more in on certain songs and cleaned up the album for it to be a bit more concise it would’ve been a nicer release 🤷🏻‍♀️ but oh well

but the LYRICS for the most part are great n yea overall i still think it’s a good album

ALSO idk if blondie will ever retire 😂😂 music is literally her lifeline. she might take a break from touring tho

- ellie 💕

[jaderimehardt]

Opened my Etsy Shop!

Hello! o/ I mentioned in last night's blog post that THIS post was coming today, so here we are!

It took a while to gain the courage for me to do this, but I finally opened my Etsy shop!

With my Etsy shop open, the path is open for me to place Resin pieces in it whenever I desire to. All my products will be in one place. And like before when my shop was on RedBubble, all items in my Etsy are still using my own self-created art/graphics with no use of AI.

I use a completely outdated freebie version of Photoshop CS2 for my art. I show some of my layer work here on my Tumblr if anyone is ever curious enough to browse through my posts or follow. I might make it a habit to show more of that in the future because the world is becoming more accustomed to using AI and society is becoming split on the matter.

But enough on this controversial topic, I just wanted to make it clear that I do NOT use AI and I'm not a fan of it in the art world.

I knew I wanted a Print-to-Order on-Demand "Partner" and that was something I was looking heavily into for the longest time. Actually I think this was causing me the most anxiety, because this is important! This is where quality of products comes in. I do my homework guys. I research thoroughly.

I found one I'm very pleased with, and it's Printful. Look forward to future blog posts similar to my "RedBubble Product Review Posts", because I've ordered items from Printful with my graphics and I'll be doing reviews on their items. I'll try to do them more often too 👍🏻 (assuming life doesn't get in the way and I have funds to do so, lol)

So far I've added 38 listings to my shop. I don't want to overcrowd it. I feel for the amount of designs I have and the amount of products Printful has available for me to utilize, this is balanced. From here I'll work on new designs.

If there is something OLD that you may have liked (in my RB shop) and is no longer available (in my Etsy shop), I apologize, but I have to put the past behind me and move forward.

There is a fear of "Will this work for me, or not?" on Etsy, because I need to pull in traffic and their rating requirement system is harsh- basically need 5-stars otherwise you drop out of their search engines entirely. But "nothing risked, nothing gained".

I'm putting this at the bottom of the post because it's more on the ranting side, but RedBubble upped their tier fees again which also inspired much of this change.

I mentioned this in a Tumblr post a couple days ago, but to break it down and put it in perspective:

An Artist in "Redbubble Standard" tier who earned a 25$ paycheck in a month used to get charged an 11$ fee. That's 43%. Couldn't change their tier. It progressively scales worse, and all us RB sellers thought that was bad.

Now with their new system, that they tried to play off as "This will include a fee increase of less than $1 for most artists.", is significantly worse. (That's literally how they phrased it in the e-mail)

If you make 25$ a month in "Redbubble Standard" tier, you get charged a 17$ fee. That's 67%. And it continues to rise at an insane rate- in the 70%+ range.

They have a form you can attempt to submit, trying to "get a real person to reevaluate your shop to be placed in a different tier"- but that doesn't work. I tried it. Pretty sure that inspires false hope and it's bogus. I didn't even get an automated basic reply back. Not a "you submitted a form!" or "you've been denied." or "your evaluation is in progress.", nothing.

RedBubble products were okay quality. At times the quality wasn't that great in my opinion but people liked the items I felt that way about and economics is all about supply & demand 🤷🏻‍♀️. I was fine selling their items because the pricing was on par with the quality. The saying "You get what you pay for." comes to mind. But would I go out of the way to buy their items? No.

And I'm going to apologize again if any or all of this sounds negative or sarcastic or moody... I'm just saying things like I see it 😅🫠

Thank you everyone who has been supporting me all this time! 💖 And to anyone new! 💖

(I know the point of posting on this website is to tag all the things, but I feel bad and weird about tagging all the things 😖)

[noxspost]

chapter four Wax and metal

He watched as she grabbed his neck as she throws him to the ground, he could not understand what was happening but then her leg hit his chest with great strength as she started to say something before, she could finish as he felt very weak like a weakness potion was given to him

“SUNTAIL wait he still has to do the task-don’t try to kill him yet.” Said lady of death as suntail huffed and annoyance and God her foot off Phil, he whimpers in pain and prepared himself to sustain more injury.

              “you’re right you are right Kristen.” She turned to refix her veil and pyro walked after her and lady death when both left, she let out a tried sigh “you might have screw up from what the fire did and you dumb thinking than you may realize.” She helps him up and dusted him. “I am stuck?” she nodded as both walked to the courtyard to finish what he started.

He was welcome not the sight of the court when he first enters the yard but a Roman or Greek arena, he was right in the middle of it. The stands were in four big tiers, and in the middle tier was where he saw suntail holding a stick and lady death was near the doors holding a pissed pyro back from the mortal human as suntail spoke echoing around the area.

“Welcome to the fighting ring mortal and pyro this is how thing will be decided. Phil if you can survive 10 minutes and get pyro down for the last ten or five seconds you will win pyro if you win well hmm that will be decided.”

Phil gulped in fear trying to push down the anxiety, the sound of metal being banged repeatedly came from one of his sides it was like death knocking at his door.

 he sucked in a harsh breath as lady death handed him three things for defending himself two blades three daggers and some rope with the hook at the end for armor, she handed him a simple helmet.

She gave him a supportive nod and joined suntail on the stands this is a simple flick of the lever coming from suntail the gate separating him from pyro was finally gone and what weight on the other side was a snarling flame covered monstrous deer scales were in patches on his body as the hooves no claws touch the sand as he got closer and closer and closer like a predator about to kill its prey the flames burned hot blue and white. it made him feel extremely uncomfortable as he saw little glass prints from where the fire touched the sand.

 Phil put on his helmet and prepared for battle, and they went full in. “for my brother.” He whispers as Pyro went in for the first swing nailing fills are right in the side slightly as immediately filled dodged and stumbled backwards slightly falling to the ground slightly but quickly getting back up immediately.

 he swung one of the blades getting pyro's left shoulder lightly grazed enough to start some bleeding pyro looked at the wound slightly and launched directly at Phil with the ferocity of an angry tiger. Snarling and roaring and growling grunts and groans from pain from the struggle could be heard the beating sun hit Phil’s back.

it was uncomfortable but with a great heavy throw he got some bleeding coming from one of pyro's front legs, but a return pyro hit with great ferocity fills a square in the head the helmet thankfully protecting his fragile skull, but it caused some ringing in his ears. “Ow-not the time-ack!” he fell to the ground and barely getting out of the way of pyro's giant tail the sound of glass and sand being hit was great and imposing it was alarming and unsettling. “Do surrender?” growled pyro in broken English only muttering two words as he pinned the man down a claw going towards Phil's neck.

He immediately kicked the underbelly with as much force as he can muster it caused flinching unless wait to be on his chest and neck allowing him to run to the corner of the arena where saw suntail watching leaning in and anticipation despite him not seeing her face. Phil, could feel spiteful and petty happiness

As he heard the growls of a charging pyro he tries to climb or at least jump to avoid the antlers that came barreling towards him which he did barely God’s antlers made bruises on his backs of his legs. His adrenaline was pumping so hard that he could feel his heart right in his noggin thumped and thumped and thumped and thumped in a cursed drum beat as he laid his eyes on the purely enraged pyro, he realized who this was his brother would tell him stories of this God.

 pyro who was sometimes short tempered sometimes not.

 he was the God of fires foresight time itself timelines wildlife how his stories involved patients, passion among other things but when angered from what humans have done or were doing in his stories to his pantheon he was in or people he cared about he was like this charging monstrous deer with snake and dragon features.

But as he was distracted, pyro kicked him causing more bleeding from the sharp claws Phil lurched forward his back leaning forward he turned his hair now disheveled and matted he turned to look his eyes now blazing with anger as several miniature cuts could be seen on his face. Pyro backed up a little bit as he saw the floating hourglass show 5 more minutes remaining then with great force and anger mixing with adrenaline now empowering his movements and emotions he lunged with the 3 daggers he was given only using two like 2 swords who swung, and he slash getting more and more cuts and bruising and blood being spilled on the sand the smell of iron and copper was getting stronger now. “You wanted-ow- a fight pyro you shall-Umm uh- one.”

 He struggled to keep words in a cohesive manner now he is snarling as he punched and cut a line under pyro’s eye and then he felt a shard grazed Phil’s skin they both looked at the hourglass again one minute left. Both were tired and wounded but Phil knew he wanted those wings he did not want to die. Both now were more desperate in their endeavors but as the hourglass ticked off the seconds pyro got Philza on the ground and there was only 15 seconds

“Surrender you ape.”

He spoke kicking the weapons out from Phil who could not reach for the blades but pull the dagger he still had and stab at the underside of pyro which cause blood to spill out on to Philza’s clothing and on pyro who was now unstable on his legs

“Never pyro.” He spat and got pyro on his back at the time was up

“Alright pyro, he has won!” yelled lady death as she walked with potions and bandages.

 “Thanks Kristen.”

Said pyro wall repairing his wounds and some even heal on their own, but she went to Philza’s side and put a bottle to his lips “drink and those marks are going to leave scars.” Her voice was like a mother’s, and he drank the liquid “hmm-wha- ahhhhhh.” but a pain spike through his body and lady death was comforting holding his hair. He could feel each wound closing it was so disgusting as he heard skin being sow back together it finally stop and pyro walked off

“He is, okay?” asked Philza

“Yes, he is. He probably forgives you. he does not like it when fate or timelines are mess with because it more work for him, plumeria and Karl to fix.” He leaned on the woman feeling the aftermath of using so much adrenaline as she talks or humming a tone to the birds. He felt a bird sitting on his shoulder and a voice whispered on the wind, “hello brother.” Things started to blur again. He felt the effects of blood take hold

[boosttrust]

Biomutant patch 1.4 ps4

#Biomutant patch 1.4 ps4 update#

#Biomutant patch 1.4 ps4 Patch#

It feels like a game from yesteryear, and I really dig that about it, personally. I'm not sure a demo of Biomutant would have helped, since the game, like most RPGs, really doesn't spread its wings until quite a few hours in, when you've gotten to know more about its various systems and can start to craft your hero to suit your particular playstyle. I do wish people would play games for themselves and decide if it works for them. No, the game isn't perfect, and certainly has some design roughness that will no doubt be ironed out in future projects and maybe expanding the team (which will also expand the budget.). I think Experiment 101 deserves a lot more credit than they've been given by critics, in my opinion. That such a good looking, fun game with quite an impressive crafting system (believe me, RPGs are incredibly difficult to design and build), developed by a very small team, is just really commendable. It really does feel like one of those enjoyable B tier games we'd get in the early to mid 2000's on the PS2/Xbox/Gamecube, and I mean that as a compliment. I know in the past year, we've gotten spoiled with some pretty fantastic games that obviously sets player expectations high, but we should know by now that not every game is going to be up to the level of 200+ person teams with insanely huge budgets. It's not even a game I was particularly hyped for, I just thought it looked interesting, but I feel like some reviews were overly harsh. The combat is still so-so, but it's hardly bad, and I'm enjoying it more now that I finally started crafting better weapons and experimenting more. After that patch, I've been enjoying the game even more, but even beyond the patch, now that I've gotten quite a few more hours into the game, it's really starting to click with me in terms of keeping me chasing that carrot (ie, there's always something I'm specifically working towards, and I don't mean just what the mission log is telling me to do, but micro-goals I set for myself). We do not have any plans for that yet, but it is one of the most requested features.It's a shame more people aren't playing this game. While this feature is not currently in their plans there might be one in the future.

#Biomutant patch 1.4 ps4 Patch#

This patch focuses on changes for PC, but the console patch is coming “soon” according to the official Biomutant Twitter account.Īs for what’s coming in the future, according to THQ Nordic one of the most requested features so far is for the option to change the outfit of your character with already collected pieces, without affecting stats. Other changes include the slow-motion camera which will now be disabled for end-of-combat slow motion for short combat scenarios, adjusted angles for combat targets, adjustments to sound and rumble effects for successful parry. The loot has now an increased chance to have a level closer to the player’s actual level. A new setting has been added for motion blur with a slider, a fix for the depth of the field toggle not being applied during dialogues and some adjustments to items and loot. The patch also comes with the new “extreme” difficulty setting, meaning enemy damage and attack rate is increased upping the challenge. There are also “more enemies and loot to the areas”. Other adjustments include changes to the tutorial area to “improve the pacing of the early parts of the game”, dialogues are now shorter.

#Biomutant patch 1.4 ps4 update#

The update also removes the text delay animation when either gibberish or narration is disabled. Previously you could lessen the frequency of the narrator but now there are options to toggle for “Gibberish” (the language the furry creatures of Biomutant speak) and “Narrator” allowing players to select if they want the narrator to speak or not, or opt-in for both gibberish and narrator. The latest patch 1.4 for Biomutant adds a few things including now an option to adjust the narrator to be completely off. Biomutant Patch 1.4 Adds Extreme Difficulty Setting, Option to Switch off Narrator and More Experiment 101 releases latest patch 1.4 for Biomutant that adds a new difficulty setting, more narrator settings and more.

[cupidlakes]

i did it! i made a tier list of (what i think are) the most notable gnf streams i’ll probably still add a few more and fix some of the icons to make them more readable but yeah check it out if you’d like :] feel free to change up the tiers + i’d love to see ppls rankings!

[sevikasleftpussyflap]

You can't tell me that Sevika's strap game isn't god-tier. LOOK AT HER AND TELL ME TO MY FACE THAT SHE DOESN'T HAVE THE BEST STRAP GAME IN THE WHOLE OF ZAUN. GO ON, I'LL WAIT.

HBFHBHEBIB my second username of choice was sevikasstickystrapon

Warnings: Smut, MDNI, subspace, overstimulation, sevikas sticky strap

Literally any pace would have you falling apart. She's all about the motion of the ocean and she will take all night discovering what gets you to make those pretty sounds for her

You're so responsive for her that she might think she's your first

If she's not, you'd tell her that no one's made you feel like that before/made you come that many times in one night

This would honestly piss her off and she'd want the names and addresses of your previous lovers bc it is SO EASY FOR HER to please you

Which means they weren't trying so they need death :)

"I was wringing you dry last night, the fuck?" You'd be a blushing mess at her words, her protectiveness, and the memories

You'd defensively ask her if she had ever made someone come like that

"Have you never made someone come before?" You stuttered out defensively, cheeks alight with embarrassment. A low chuckle meets your ears, smug at your naivety of her reputation. "Honey, I have. But never that many times in one night. You came every time I stuck my strap in you."

She'll be fucking you so good and you can't help but claw at her back, ignoring her no touching command and leaving red welts in your wake

"Hands." She growls. Your bliss is interrupted by her stern tone, nails retract and arms cautiously wrap around her neck. She stills and barks the command again but you don't want to let go of her. "No, please I just want to hold you." To her dismay, this softens some part of her and she kisses you, irritated. She'll start fucking you harder and you'll be clawing her up again, but she'll put up with it this time

Sevika is an absolute menace when it comes to over stimulation. If you work yourself too hard during the day, she's gonna make you relax. You'll just have to lay there and take what she gives you

She loves the face you make when you're fucked stupid, all of the worry and stress of the day gone

So she'll want to see it again and again and again

I hc that you're her first true relationship. With her job she never really had time for anything serious. The brothel was there for a stress reliever when she needed it (and she needed it a lot)

So you're the first thing that's truly hers. There's no sharing you with anyone, she has someone to call her own and she's gonna show you her appreciation

Also take a little half-assed drabble:

Moans filled the room. You were bent over the table, stuffed absolutely full by Sevika's strap. She didn’t even have to move the large toy in your cunt, wet dripping down your thighs, squeezed together as if that would stop her from breaching your entrance. You tried to move as little as possible, every movement overwhelming as the toy filled and pressed against the entirety of your walls. Whimpers fell endlessly from your lips, thighs slick and slipping together. When your eyes weren’t squeezed shut, they were rolled to the back of your head. Gentle pets against your hair comforted you as you moaned, overstimulated from every sensation. 

“Good, baby?” 

Your nod was sluggish and cut short when she pulled out slightly. The noises that fell out of your mouth were not under your own volition as the strap slid back inside you. Somehow her slow humping was more overwhelming, each drag rubbing against that one spot and bringing you to the edge faster than any harsh thrust would.

When you fall over your scream is guttural, sobs ripping from your throat when she continues those measured thrusts.

“‘Vika‘Vika‘Vika-”

“It’s alright, just lay there and enjoy it. Take what I give you.”

Your head was fuzzy, comprehending nothing but the feelings she drew from you and her gentle commands. Dutifully, you laid there spread for her, letting her use you and unravel every shred of coherence until there was nothing but her. 

“How am I supposed to stop when you keep making those pretty noises for me?”

Lips brushed your ear, breath casting over your cheek and sending shivers down your spine. You were wailing, sobs and moans falling from your mouth, intensifying when a hand lifted your thigh to give her more access.

“That’s right, open up for me.” 

Thrust.

“That’s-”

Thrust.

“-it.”

It felt like you couldn’t stop coming. Her hands massaged your tense muscles until you were boneless, every touch feeling like a kiss. Ink smudged beneath you from your tears, whatever document she was working on before was absolutely ruined. Like you.

You whimpered as she pulled out, shushing you before her warmth left you completely. Metal clanked against porcelain, something falling to the ground followed by a muffled “-shit.” You could only focus on your heartbeat pounding in your chest, the pulsing throb between your thighs.

Time didn’t exist. You had no idea if she’d been gone for five seconds or five minutes. Warm, calloused hands rested on your thighs and you pliantly spread them, slightly pushing your hips up and presenting yourself to her.

“That’s good, baby. But we’re done with that.” Words dripping with amusement weren’t enough to snap you out of your haze. A rag lightly cleaned between your thighs, mesmerizing her with your glistening arousal. Sevika smiled softly when you pushed back as the cloth wiped over your entrance, thighs parting again. 

“Eager to please, huh?” 

The rich oak wood slid against your cheek as your head bobbled in a nod, halted by hands now cradling your cheeks. “We’re through, sweet thing. Come back to me.”  

Sevika watched as your bleary eyes slowly crept into focus, a sleepy smile settling on your face.

“Hi.”

Your quiet voice was met with her chuckles. 

“Hey, babygirl. You good?” 

“Uh-huh.” 

The sight of you utterly spent brought a satisfied smile to Sevika’s face. She loved being able to give you the pleasure you deserved, that it was her that was able to take away all of your worries until you were floating in the clouds. Sevika wasn’t used to having someone to call her own. She had favorites at the brothel, sure, but they were never entirely hers. Now here you are, someone she could never tire of, who she always looked forward coming home to, who she could ply with riches, status, and sex until you were sick of it. 

She never thought it would be possible to feel this way about another person and now she made sure to give her thanks to you in her own way, making sure your needs were met and that any stress of the day was fucked away before you slept. Of course to you, she was just your hyper sexual partner.

After she was able to get some water in you, combating the whines with coaxing pets and encouraging praises, a bowl of fruit found itself in her metal hand. Your grumbling protests were ignored as you were hoisted into her lap.

“I wanna sleep, Sev.”

“A few bites for me, c’mon.” 

By the third bite, you were mostly back to yourself and gave her finger a nip when it pushed a berry to your mouth.

“Brat. For you to behave, I have to fuck you stupid? Is that what it takes?”

Burning cheeks hid in her collar bone, a teasing little “maybe” muttered into her skin.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

[dre6ming]

Have some respect

Masterlist

To be added to the tag list click here

Pairing: Austin Butler x fem reader

Warnings: smut 18+ <minors dni>, oral (male receiving), unprotected sex, cursing, explicit language, mention of parent loss, mentions of death, fluff, angst…. Hope that’s all

Plot: you played Priscilla in the Elvis movie, but because you’re socially awkward you rarely interact with Austin and after a very intrusive interviewer asks a inappropriate question you two find comfort with each other.

Word count: 3220

Disclaimer: The idea came to me when I stumbled upon this TikTok (click here to watch) of the interviewer asking Austin how he broke the news that he’s gonna be Elvis to his mom. The interviewer didn’t know about Austin’s mom, which to me just shows lack of interest in doing your job, but you know it might be just me idk

It was yet another long day of sitting in a very uncomfortable chair answering the same questions over and over again. I love acting, please don't get me wrong, I love my job and sometimes even doing interviews can be fun, but after a full day of doing just that, there's nothing more I wish than to go home and take a bubble bath. I guess I should be thankful I'm not the lead of the movie though, as most questions are directed to Austin, so I get to sit beside him, nod and smile.

"Ok the last interviewer will be on in a minute" someone says. I sigh, rubbing my temples and wiggling a little in my chair since I've been stuck in it for hours now. Because of all the wiggling and moving around my chair tips over and I go straight for the ground. I close my eyes, letting out a little yelp, waiting to hit the floor with my face. Thankfully Austin was somewhat paying attention to me and he's quick to grab the chair and my arm. "Phew, my god, thank you" he lets out a chuckle, shaking his head in disbelief, he knows I'm clumsy. I get stuck looking at him for a minute and then I realize his hand is still wrapped around my arm.

Looking down at his hand, seeing the veins running down it, while he's holding my arm...lord have mercy. I lick my lips and have to bite my tongue to stop the moan that rises in my throat. He clears his throat and takes the hand away, brushing it through his hair. If I weren't so fucking tiered and high on caffeine I'd swear I see a blush show up on his face.

The interviewer coming in startles me, so I take my eyes off of Austin and start to fiddle with my shirt. I've worked with Austin for 2 years filming and now we're almost done with a year long press tour, that's three years we've spent together, not once did I think of him in a romantic way. Sure he's good looking, but other than that I don't know much. I know I must sound like a hypocrite, but I'm not really social and besides the talking we did regarding scenes and filming, we've never really talked.

"Hi guys, nice to meet you, can we start?" The interviewer interrupts my train of thought. We both say hello and soon enough the guy starts asking questions. I'm not really listening and my luck will have it that besides two questions, which I've answered before, the guy only talks to Austin. I zone out for the rest of the interview, smiling when it seems like a good time to and laughing a bit when Austin does it. All goes smoothly until I hear the next question.

"So what did you mom and your grandma say when you were like 'guys I got Elvis! I'm gonna be Elvis!'" As soon as the question leaves the interviewer's mouth, my stomach drops. I look at Austin and I see his face fall as he takes in the question. Suddenly I feel so overprotective my mouth speaks before I can process it. "If you're gonna stand there asking us the same stupid questions, you could've at least done some research before hand." The guy seem taken back by my harsh answer and before he can say anything else, I get up from the chair and start taking my mic off. "That's it we're done, we've answered enough, thank you!" I slam the mic in the guys lap and walk past him.

As I make my way to the dressing room, I try not to think about how loud my publicist will scream at me. I also try not think that maybe I overreacted and it wasn't my place to do so. I get inside the dressing room taking my shoes off, my feet hurt so bad from dangling all day on the high chair. I hear a knock on the door. "Come in!" I say closing my eyes preparing for being scolded. God I feel like I'm back in highschool when I used to talk back to my teachers and get screamed at by my mom. I turn to look at Jenelle, only she's not the one to have walked in. It's Austin. I stand up and try to look presentable, but I know I'm far from that.

"Um hi, I just wanted say thank you, for having my back out there, I kinda got stuck." He says fidgeting with his hands. "Oh, yeah, I just, it's nothing. Plus I'm sure I would've frozen if I were in your place." He nods and I dare to look at his face for the first time. His eyes are red, he's not crying but I'm guessing he wants to. "Sit down." I say, motioning to the small couch. I go lock the door, so no one will barge in. Getting some cold water from the mini fridge and a box of tissues from the vanity, I put them next to him. I also sit down, but as far away from him as I can, it's already awkward enough, adding uncomfortable closeness will only make it more awkward. Austin looks at the things I brought over and chuckles, dragging his hand over his face. "You think I'm going to cry?"

I can't read his tone, so I'm just a bit stuck on what to answer. "I would" I say, remembering how hard I cried a few years ago when an interviewer asked me what my father thought about my role in 'Fifty shades of Grey', the woman, just like the guy today, didn't know my dad died when I was 15. "I'm past that." He says, but I don't really believe him. "I'm not."

After I say it, I cover my mouth with my hand, widening my eyes. "What?" He squints his eyes at me, confused by my words. "I-" my eyes move around the room trying to find something to focus on. "My dad died in a car crash when I was 15. A few years ago an interviewer asked my if I ever plan to show my dad 'Fifty shades of Grey', I started bawling on the spot." His face softens and I can see compassion washing over his expression. "I'm sorry!" I laugh trying to hide the lump that forms in my throat. "Don't be, the interviewers have one job, they should know these things"

I look at my lap, playing with the hem of my pants. One of his hands comes to my face, forcing me to look at him. His eyes have evident tears in them. My own vision starts to blur, then I feel his thumb caress my cheek, wiping away a singe tear. He licks his lips and without breaking eye contact he leans forward. "Can I?" He asks, his lips barely touching mine. Austin's breath feels warm against my face. I close my eyes anticipating the kiss. "Yes!" I say breathless.

He's lips crash onto my with force. With one hand holding my face, the other one moves to my waist. His tongue teases my bottom lip, making me open my mouth so he can explore freely. I sigh into the kiss and burry my fingers in his hair. Oh my god is it soft. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears and my lungs burn from being without oxygen for too long. He pulls me towards him, forcing me to sit on his lap, with my legs on either side of his hips. "Austin!" I moan when his lips leave mine and move to trail wet kisses down my neck. He grunts, the hand on my waist moving down to grip my hip.

Austin looks up at me, his eyes are dark with lust, lips swollen from kissing. "Baby, you look so beautiful like this!" I've gone mute, I can't talk, my body reacts unconsciously, as I shiver at the tone of his voice. The hand on my face, travels down, his finger tips brushing my skin, causing goosebumps to appear. Austin plays with the ribbon at the top of my shirt, untying it. The garment opens up, showing a bit more of my cleavage. "So pretty..." he whisper cupping one of my breasts, kneading it though the thin material. When he takes his hand away, my nipples stays hard, showing up through the thinness of the blouse. "No bra?" I shake my head. It was way more comfortable this way.

"Fuck" Austin breathes out, pressing me down on his crotch. I can feel the contour of his bulge, which causes my arousal to grow. Suddenly the room feels too warm. My hands move down his body until I reach the hem of his soft sweater. I sneak my hand under, feeling his hot skin. Austin muscles tense when my cold hands explore his torso and chest, slowly lifting off the sweater. He helps my take it over his head, grinning at me.

I get off from his lap and kiss my way down to the waist band of his pants. "(Y/n) you don't have to!" I think for a millisecond that, yes I don't have to, but I do want to. "I want to!" I say looking up at him between his legs. I carefully unbutton his pants, dragging them down along with his underwear. I sit back and take in the image before me. Austin Butler, my co-star, the person I've been scared to talk to for three years, is sitting naked in front of me, cock hard against his abdomen. He's perfect.

I blow on my hands to warm them up a bit before I touch him and he chuckles at me, brushing his hair back. "You wouldn't be laughing if my hands were freezing cold when I touched your dick." I say, looking at him through my lashes and smirking, when the smile falls from his lips. I take him in my hand, stroking slowly up and down, moving my thumb over the head. "Ah, fuck, baby!" The pet name as me rubbing my thighs together, hoping to get some relief. I come close to his cock and blow on it, smiling when his hips jump up slightly and his bites his bottom lip. "Don't tease!" He warns.

I take him in my mouth, moaning at the taste of him. Austin is struggling to hold still and one of his hands grabs my hair. I move down slowly, trying to take as much of him as I can in my mouth. I moan around him, starting to bop my head. One of my hands grabs his thigh to steady myself, the other goes to his balls, massaging them softly. He can no longer contain himself, he uses the grip on my hair to guide me around him. Tears stream down my cheeks as he starts thrusting his hips up, touching the back of my throat every time. "Fuck me, such a good girl for me, sucking me off so good. Agh-" he throws his head back, eyes closing tightly.

"Stop...stop" I get off of him as soon as he says that and panic arises inside me. Oh god what was I thinking, giving him a blow job, here, when we've barely spoken in the years we've worked together. "I want to be inside you. Can I?" My cheeks turn crimson red. I stand up and pull my shirt over my head, exposing my breasts. "God you're an angel!" As my hands work on my pants, Austin starts stroking himself. I moan at the sight of him pleasuring himself in from to me. After my pants and underwear drop to the floor I kick the away and sit back on his lap. "Like what you see?" I ask with more confidence than I've ever had in my life. I press myself down over his hard dick, grinding myself against him. He grabs my hips stilling me. "No teasing baby, please!" Austin's eyes are half closed looking at me through his lashes. Those long lush lashes.

I lift up my hips, grab him with one hand and align him with my hole, but before I sink down on him he stops me. "Condom, I- I don't have one" he says through gritted teeth. "I'm clean and I have an IUD" I say whining, my wall contracting around nothing in anticipation for him to fill me up. "I'm clean too." He says and lets me move down on him. "So wet for me.." he breathes out "Austin!" I moan as I keep going down.

When my hips touch his, I throw my head back moaning loudly at the feeling on being so full. I start to move on him. He grunts taking in the feeling of me around him. "So tight f'me" he starts helping me move, thrusting into me, meeting my moves. "So good!" I say moving my hands up to play with my breasts. He growls at my actions and moves faster. I have to let go of my breasts and grab his shoulders to steady myself. Austin lifts his head up and sucks one of my nipples in his mouth. "I'm close, please!" I beg.

My walls squeeze him, causing him to lose the rhythm of his thrusts. "Me too baby, me too..." his right hand leaves my hips and goes to my clit. "So wet.." he moans starting to draw circles on the bundle of nerves. Soon I'm trembling above him, my pussy contracting around him over and over again, incoherent curses leaving my lips as my orgasm washes over my body. "Riding me so good, (Y/n), I'm gonna come so hard." When he says that he gets up from the couch, holding me in his arms, dick buried deep inside me. He supports my back and puts me down on the couch, hovering over me.

Austin's thrusts are relentless, the rhythm animalistic, making my boobs shake up and down. "I- I can't, Aus, too much!" I say barely gathering my thoughts enough to make sense. "One more honey, for me, you can do it." I shake my head as tears prick my eyes. His lips are on my cheeks kissing away the salty liquid pouring from my eyes. He starts playing with my clit again, he's unforgiving, chasing both of our orgasm. "With me baby, cum!" He whispers in my ear. I see white dots behind my closed lids, my body trembling with the force of my climax. He kisses me swallowing my screams. I feel him twitch inside me and the the warmth of his cum spilling in me becomes evident.

I hug him closely, tangling my arms around his torso. We stay like that for a while, enjoying the warmth of our bodies being so close. Unfortunately we both broke a sweat during our unholy activities, so I shiver at the temperature in the room. He notices and getting out of me, which is met with a vocal disappointment form me, he takes his blue sweater and puts it over my head. "As much as I hate to hide those beautiful breasts, I don't want you to catch a cold." I giggle and put my arms through the sleeves of the sweater. I lift my hips up to drag the clothing item over my butt as it reaches almost my mid thigh. I wince when I move, feeling the aftermath of having sex after a long time of unintentional abstinence.

His eyebrows draw together at my reaction and then it becomes clear to him as a huge smile spreads over his face, eyes twinkling with joy. "Did I fuck you that good, baby?" He asks kissing my forehead. I laugh and pull his head back by the hair. "What would you say to having dinner with me tonight?" I blush and look away. I can't believe he wants to have dinner with me, it has to be a pity offer since I fucked him. Austin seems to catch on the fact that I'm overthinking and he draws my eyes to him, by lifting my chin up. "I've had a crush on you for a while now, but since you were always so formal when talking I thought you weren't interested" My eyes widen at his confession. "I like you too, I'm just, you know socially awkward.."

He laughs and dips a long finger in between my folds gathering some of his cum, mixed with my own. I moan and watch him as he take the finger up to his lips and lick it clean. "Social awkward? Didn't seem like it a minute ago!" I laugh and slap his chest playfully. We share another laugh and then he comes in for a kiss, a tender, sweet and slow kiss, that causes my heart to speed up and my stomach to do flips.

"So dinner?" He asks when he pulls away. Austin kisses my nose before I can answer, the ticklish feeling making me giggle "with me?" He asks kissing my forehead. "Tonight?" His lips cover mine giving me a quick kiss there as well. "You have to let me answer Butler!" I say chuckling at his playfulness. "So?" He pushes.

"Yes I'll have dinner with you!" I say and he hugs me tightly, kissing my cheek. We both jump when a knock is heard. We hold our breaths as we see  the door knob move, but thankfully I locked the door before hand and whoever is out there can't come in. "(Y/n) meet you at the car in five, what you just did out there was a disaster!" Jenelle, my publicist screams form the other side of the door. "Okay!" I shout back as I start moving around gathering my clothes. I try to ignore the uncomfortable feeling of cum dripping out of me.

In my hurried frenzy, Austin puts his hand on my shoulder. We both share a look and laugh at our current condition. Naked in a dressing room, looking fucked out. We begin to laugh as we both begin getting dressed. I sigh disappointed to have to give his warm, soft sweater that smells like him. After we're both presentable, he kisses the top of my head, holding my face in his hands. "You go first baby! I'll wait a minute to leave!" He mumbles against my hair. I step away from him, take my bag and my shoes and go for the door. Before I walk out I look at him one more time. "See you at 7, I'll make sure to bring the sweater, you can have it" he winks at me. Blushing I smile and walk out of the dressing room.

As I get in the car, I start to question if what happened was real or a tiered hallucination, but all doubt gets washed away when I get comfortable in the seat and feel the cum soak my panties, making me smile as I cross my legs. "What was on your mind?" My eyes snap at Jenelle and I just shrug my shoulders. All I can think of is how I wished 7 o'clock would come faster.