#i feel like they would be much more easily annoyed especially while working with julian and finding out that the apprentice worked under him

[deepiintheocean]

hes trying really hard not to kill julian

[dreamwritesimagines]

Burn The Witch 13 - Trouble [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Fights can be inevitable.

Series Masterlist

Oh God damn it.

This mission was not supposed to include anything from your real life, and it certainly was not supposed to include your real life ex-boyfriend.

Not only was this going to make things very, very complicated, it also put the entire operation in danger. No part of the background that was specifically created for your cover had any details on your ex relationships and you didn’t think you would have to come up with something now.

Well. For what it was worth, you weren’t the one who came up with it.

“Just joking man. I’m her ex-boyfriend but no worries, I pose no danger.”

Bucky didn’t even dignify that with an answer and you heaved a sigh, trying to control the anger bubbling in your stomach.

“Yeah,” you managed to say, “Yeah, we used to—um, we used to date.”

Bucky frowned, “Didn’t you say you moved here two months ago?”

“I did move here two months ago.”

“We used to date back in Oregon,” Julian explained and Bucky huhed.

“Yet here you are.”

“Yeah you know, the big apple,” Julian motioned around you, “I just got a job here and I figured I could come and see Y/N. Small town people have to look out for each other, you see.”

You gritted your teeth, watching him with narrowed eyes.

“She took you there yet?” Julian asked Bucky “Cannon Beach?”

“No,” you answered on his behalf and Julian clicked his tongue.

“I guess you could take him with you when you visit next month,” he said, “Surely you are visiting next month?”

“I don’t think I am.”

“Come on, no way.” he said, his voice filled with disbelief. “It’s sand castles contest time, you love that contest!”

Right.

Julian had always been the best at playing the civilian and memorizing the back story of any cover. He was great at lying and that was why every mission you had gone on with him was that easy, he could fool anyone.

Including you.

“She came in fourth place two years ago, she made this dragon castle, you should’ve seen it.” He told Bucky, and you rolled your eyes.

Fourth place.

Easy enough to make someone believe, hard enough to find a trace of on the internet.

Julian was an asshole for sure, but he was a great spy and now you were beginning to remember why though every mission with him was a success, you had still avoided it even before your break up.

This was what he did, he took over every single assignment, no matter who was the leader.

Not this time. This was your mission and your mission only.

“Y/N, did you….” Julian let out a chuckle, “Did you tell him about the time your grandma caught us at the—“

“It was good so see you,” you cut him off, glaring at him “But you should probably go now, I’m kind of busy.”

Julian paused only for a moment before holding up his hands, gesturing surrender.

“Okay,” he said, “It was nice to see you too. Again.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“It was nice to meet you Bucky,” he said, “Take care of yourself, Y/N.”

He walked away from you and you closed your eyes for a moment, leaning your head back to the wall.

“Fuck this shit,” you murmured under your breath without even realizing it wasn’t something your cover would say, and opened your eyes to look up at Bucky.

“Was he bothering you or something?” he asked you and you scoffed.

“Please,” you muttered but then pulled yourself together. “He’s not…that type no. Just annoying, that’s all.”

“Are you sure? Because I can—“

“No,” you shook your head fervently, “No, please don’t. It’s fine, it’s just— who he is.”

How dare he?

How dare he try to take over your mission? You had put so much thought into this, coming up with multiple strategies, trying to convince yourself that-

That you were doing the right thing. Even if you felt yourself getting lost in this cover, it didn’t mean that Julian could swoop in and take this over as if you were a rookie agent in need of help.

This whole assignment belonged to you, not to anyone else.

If you were going to betray Bucky’s trust and feel like the most terrible person in the world, the least you could do was not let Julian take the credit.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” you attempted to change the subject and Bucky tilted his head.

“Come on Y/N, don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“You don’t have to pretend like it’s fine,” he shrugged his shoulders, “I mean you don’t have to pretend, ever.”

Okay, this was too much. You could almost feel your defenses going up, the whole hangover and stress and anger and now Bucky being able to tell you were faking something, it was all getting the best of you and if you weren’t careful, you would say something you would regret later.

“I’m sorry?”

“I just,” he took a deep breath, “Sometimes you’re like…too good to be true, you know? And Sam has this theory that you’re—you’re somehow you’re doing this for me or the people around you but you don’t have to.”

“You think I’m pretending?” you asked, your voice coming out way too defensive for your own cover but you could hardly care.

You were slipping, and you didn’t have the luxury to slip. It seemed to take Bucky by surprise because for the first time since you had met, you were-

Aggressive. That was the word. Less like your cover and more like your real self.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” he said and you let out a bitter chuckle, nodding.

“Yeah,” you said, “Okay. I’m kind of busy you see, I have so much to do at the shop so I should probably go back inside.”

“Y/N—“ he started but you pushed yourself off the wall.

“No it’s fine,” you managed to say, “This is me not pretending, for the record. I’ll see you later I guess.”

With that, you walked past him and went back to the milkshake shop, fury still poisoning your insides.

                                                 ***

You could hardly wait until you could go back to the base. Even though you thought that by then you would have calmed down, that didn’t seem to be the case.

You were fucking good at your job, and you were going to prove it to anyone and everyone. Without any help.

“Is he here yet?” you asked Chloe who rushed to greet you as soon as you stepped out of the elevator into the base and she cleared her throat.

“Who?”

“Don’t even, I know you heard what happened,” you cut her off and she shifted her weight.

“Yeah. I read his report.”

“Exactly. Where is he?”

“Okay, before I tell you where he is I feel like it’s important that you remember we’re not supposed to kill our own agents,” she said, “The paper work is a nightmare.”

“Where is he?”

“Keith says it’s considered rude to kill your team members.”

“Chloe,” you looked her in the eye “Where is he?”

She heaved a sigh, “In the training room.”

“Great, more weapons to use,” you muttered as you walked away from her to walk downstairs to the training room. Anger was pulsing through your veins and you kicked the door open, making the pair currently trying to hit each other stop.

“Get out,” you nodded at the other agent and Julian let out a small chuckle before he wiped his face with the towel. The agent rushed out of the room and you narrowed your eyes at Julian.

“You look upset,” he commented, “Want to exercise it out of your system?”

“What the fuck was that?”

Julian uncapped his water bottle to take a huge sip. “Come on, I saw an opening-“

“You made that opening,” you cut him off, “And crossed the line.”

“Oh please,” he waved a hand in the air, “It worked out perfectly fine.”

You could barely control your voice now, “You almost blew my fucking cover!”

“I would never,” he said, “Trust me, if anything I did you a favor.”

You dug your fingernails into your palms, “A favor?”

“Yeah. Guys love competition, an ex-boyfriend being in the picture will even speed up the process.”

“This is my mission.” You said through your teeth, “You don’t get to make spontaneous decisions without running them by me first.”

“When was the last time you had a proper fight?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You always get cranky if you haven’t had a good challenge in a while,” he stated, “A good fight. I take it your boyfriend doesn’t tire you out enough?”

The innuendo wasn’t lost on you and you let out a small chuckle.

“You couldn’t tire me out if you tried.”

He tilted his head, “Is that a promise?”

You shot him a look and lunged but he easily dodged you, scowling.

“Come on Y/N,” he taunted you, “I won’t hold back, you shouldn’t either.”

“Oh don’t worry, I won’t hold back.” you grinned at him and darted to grab at him but he twisted your hand to push you back, making your back hit the wall. You pulled your hair into a ponytail and jumped to wrap your legs around his neck, spinning in the air to shove him to the ground. As soon as you both fell, you straddled him and pulled the dagger out of your boots to raise it and slam it to the ground right next to his head. A sly grin pulled at his lips as if he was having the time of his life.

“Look at you babe,” he said, “You got even better.”

You were very, very aware of the position you had both found yourself in. You used to find this whole thing hot, it was like foreplay to you. Mock fighting, training, all of it -especially with Julian- it used to be your second favorite activity.

Now, all you could think about was just how much more fun it would be with Bucky.

Maybe Julian was right. Maybe you were just a wild card.

A smirk curled your lips and you leaned in slightly to lock your eyes with his, looking down at him.

“My mission,” you growled. “Not yours. The next time you try to control what’s mine, I won’t be so nice.”

You pushed the dagger into your boot again and got off of him before storming out of the training room, still trying to keep your anger in check.

For some reason, you had a feeling it wouldn’t work.

                                               ***

No matter what you did for the rest of the evening, it just wasn’t enough to calm you down. Now to think of it, it wasn’t even completely about Julian and his nonsense, it was because—

You didn’t want Bucky to think you were pretending, even if you were.

Just because it was a cover, didn’t mean your reactions and the happiness you felt with him was fake as well. But he could still tell something was off— Sam could still tell something was off despite your best efforts.

Great.

You poured wine into your glass and changed the channel, trying to decide whether you should go and bug Keith or not. You heaved a sigh and tore your eyes from the screen to lean your head back, nibbling on your lip.

Dealing with feelings was much more difficult than taking down a target.

You groaned to yourself and took a huge sip of your wine, but before you could grab your phone you heard the doorbell ring. Your head shot up and you grabbed your gun to walk to the door, but as soon as you looked through the peephole to avoid yet another mistake like actually opening the door to Julian, you froze.

Bucky.

….Fuck.

“Um- just a second!” you called out before rushing to your room to hide your gun, then quickly looked around the apartment to see if there was anything that could tip him off. Overall, it looked perfectly civilian and you ran a hand over your face to pull yourself together.

Your cover was supposed to be angry at him.

You threw your shoulders back and walked to the door to open it, then leaned sideways to the doorframe, your lips pulled into a slight pout.

“Hi,” you murmured and his gaze lingered on your shorts and flimsy tank top before he looked away for a moment.

Ah.

Compared to 1940s, it was almost the same as you opening the door in your underwear.

“Hey,” he said and held up a small box of bagels. “Listen, I know you’re angry but um…I was hoping we could talk?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Keith’s door opening and he stepped out but as soon as he caught the sight of Bucky on your doorstep, his eyes widened and he froze. He quickly fixed his jacket so that it would cover his gun tucked into the back of the waistband of his jeans and gawked at you.

“What the fuck?” he mouthed and you got momentarily distracted, causing Bucky to follow your gaze over his shoulder to Keith.

And Keith, the badass spy, probably the only spy in the whole division who could give you a hard time in a fight, whom you had seen take down five armed soldier by himself with no weapons-

He waved at Bucky.

“Hi- hi neighbor,” he stammered as he turned to you and you shot him a forced smile.

“Hi.”

“Thanks for the cookies, I was going to bring you your plate the other day,” he said, “Do you need it now?”

Translation: Do you need back up?

“No, no,” you shook your head, “No worries, it’s fine.”

“Alright then. See you later.”

You cleared your throat and took the box from Bucky.

“Come in,” you turned around to walk to the living room, hearing him close the door behind him. It didn’t take him long to step into the living room and his eyes darted around as if trying to take in as much as he could. You figured it was natural, homes always gave clues about who their owners were.

Not to mention, as an ex-assassin he was automatically finding the nearest exits and things to use as weapons.

You would know. You did the same thing whenever you were in a new place.

You peeked into the box and frowned.

“What is this?”

“To be honest with you, I have no idea,” Bucky admitted, “It’s supposed to be a bagel. I just asked the guy to give me the most modern and weirdest combination.”

“Is this—is this glitter?”

“He said it was edible glitter, yeah. With lavender and cheese with honey.”

“Why is there two of them?”

He put his hands into his pockets. “I figured I could try one.”

You blinked a couple of times, “You want to try a lavender cheese honey bagel with edible glitter.”

Even the sound of it seemed to be painful for him but he pressed his lips together and nodded fervently. “Mm hm.”

You tried to stop the smile threatening to warm your face and put the box on the coffee table before looking up at him.

“Bucky, listen—“

“I’m sorry,” he cut you off, “That comment back there, it was so uncalled for.”

You crossed your arms, “Why did you say that though?” you asked, “Is that—is that what you think?”

“No,” he shook his head fervently, “Of course not.”

“Then?”

“I don’t know if I can give an explanation without it sounding incredibly weird to you.”

“Try me.”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” he said “It’s like— the way you are, it’s like someone somehow looked into my whole life back in 40s before everything and saw every single detail of what I wanted and made you.”

Yeah. That was exactly what you and the division had done.

“I’m not used to…” he motioned at you, “This. It’s like you’re too good to be true, like you’re perfect, does that make sense?”

A dull pain flipped your stomach and you stared up at him, trying to ignore your throat tightening before you went to sit down on the couch.

“I’m not,” you rasped out, “I’m not perfect. You’ll see it sooner or later.”

That right there was as honest as you could be with him. You rubbed at your eyes and grabbed the wine glass to take a huge sip as he sat down beside you, his gaze fixated on you.

“I’m sorry too,” you said, “It was an overreaction, it’s just… Julian’s effect on me.”

He stayed silent for a couple of seconds as if he had no idea how to approach the topic.

“Rough break up?”

“You could say that,” you scoffed a laugh, looking down at your glass, “I mean….you think you know a person, right? And they have no problem with proving you otherwise, prove that you didn’t know them at all. They—they betray your trust and everything was a lie all along and—“

And just like that, the realization hit you like a ton of bricks, making you stop talking.

You were doing exactly the same. It was just another version of the betrayal you had seen from Julian, and you were doing the same thing to Bucky.

He thought he knew you, and you would prove him otherwise, and betray his trust and walk away when this mission was over. In fact, by the time it was over, he would hate you even more than you hated Julian.

You cursed under your breath and took another sip of your wine, trying to ease the crushing guilt making you feel almost breathless.

“Sorry,” you managed to say, “I didn’t mean to unleash it on you, I just don’t want him anywhere near me.”

“I could pay him a visit if you want?”

You pulled your brows together, distracted for a moment before you tilted your head to the side.

“What?”

“To warn him to stay away from you.”

“Uh, I appreciate the chivalry,” you said, “But I can take care of myself.”

“Never said you couldn’t,” he pointed out, “It’s just the old-fashioned thing.”

“Oh the old-fashioned thing?” you repeated with a smile and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Yeah,” he said, “You know, taking care of my girl.”

You thought your heart would leap out of your throat as the warmth spread through you before the idea of betraying him hit you once again. The words felt like they were trying to escape from your mouth, the urge to come clean getting heavier and heavier before you leaned in to brush your lips against his, making him wrap his arms tight around you to pull you closer. You settled in his embrace, the back of your eyes burning but you blinked a couple of times to get rid of tears. He nuzzled into your hair, inhaling your scent.

“Can we stay like this for a while?” you asked and he smiled, pressing a kiss on top of your head.

“Sure thing,” he said and nodded at the TV screen, “What is this movie about?”

“I don’t know, it has cars and criminals,” you said, the guilt making you feel almost nauseous, “Bucky?”

“Hm?”

He would never understand what your confession actually meant, but you felt as if you would choke if you didn’t say it.

“I like who I am when I’m with you.”

A chuckle rumbled in his chest before he reached out to caress your cheekbone.

“Makes two of us darling,” he murmured, “I like who I am when I’m with you too.”

A bitter smile curled your lips and you bit inside your cheek to control yourself, sniffling inaudibly before you closed your eyes, enjoying his warmth.

Chapter 14

[slythraco]

Julian Albert - SFW ALPHABET

Author’s note: Took a break in my requests to write this ! Might do the NSFW version if you’d like it ! Let me know if you would like to see this with his other characters too 😉 have fun !

Masterlist

————————

A = Attraction (how do they show their attracted to you?)

Julian is not really the expressive type, always preferred to hide his feelings and emotions behind a wall of coldness and anger. So making you understand he likes you was quite a challenge for him. He started by complimenting you sometimes, which surprised you every time.

He would also help you with your work without you asking, then make it pass like a act of kindness because he’s in his ‘good day’ rather then assuming the real reason.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/why not?)

Yes ! Absolutely, Julian and you always talk about finding a family one day. Even if he’s scared of the idea of being a father, you’re always there to comfort him, knowing he would make an amazing father.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Julian is a sucker for cuddles, he just love feeling your body against his. Every time you’re not far away from each other (and in private) he just feel the need to take you in his arms. So when you’re both at work, he take a break just to meet you at your desk who is literally 2 meters away and give you a good hug before going back.

When you’re home, he loves to sit in bed, his back against the headboard, you between his legs while you read a book together. This position gives him room to kiss your neck and collarbones, but he can also touch your thighs or higher if he doesn’t feel like reading.

D = Dates (What are dates like with them?)

It’s all or nothing, he can either prepare the best night ever, Diner with candles, Sky gazing after a good meal, date in a gastronomic restaurant or just share a glass of whine at his home while dance to random musics. But you like these both ways of doing it. A good moment with Julian is always good to take.

E = Emotions (Do they express their emotions? If so, how?)

It was a big problem in the beginning of your relationship, the fact that he didn’t really open up to you to show his feelings. He was still protecting himself from getting hurt. But once he did it one time, and finally realises that you would never in any circonstances, judge him or leave him for what he truly feels. He became the most expressive person he’s ever been, he tells you everything that’s on his mind and it makes him very happy to have found someone to talk to about what’s going trough his mind. And you’re probably the only person that gets to see him like that.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love)

One day you got attacked by a meta-human, you got harmed a little bit but it was enough to make Julian scared and start freaking out. That’s when he realised how much he didn’t to lose you and how deeply in love he was.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Gentle in his gesture, yes. Gentle in his words, no. Hear me out. Julian is the most attentive person, the last thing he wants is to hurt so when he’s hugging you or kissing you, it’s gentle and full of his love.

But sometimes, when he gets angry or is in a bad mood he can get rude in his words or get violent. Careful, he could never lay a hand on you, he would breaks things around him rather then get physical to you. But yeah, be prepared he can get really rude to you but he will always regret what he said and always excuse himself until you forgive him but he would certainly blame himself for the rest of his life.

H = Hands (Do they hold hands? If so, how?)

Yes, everywhere, Julian is not really into PDA but if there’s one thing to steal from it it’s this. When you’re walking outside, arriving at work, sitting next to each other, he always find a way to grab your hand and it’s honestly, adorable.

I = Impression (What was their first impression of you?)

Being his colleague, Joe had to warned him of your your coming in the office. It kinda bored Julian at first, knowing he’d have to share his lab with another person annoyed him but as soon as he saw you, all his bad thinking flew away.

He found you really nice, intelligent and way more punctual than Allen. And also really beautiful, you blew him away by your intelligence also. He really thought you were too good to be true.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Yes, Julian is a really insecure person, he’s always scared of loosing you so when he sees you talking to another men he would almost always ask you about him afterwards.

If the person your talking to gets a little bit too touchy for his taste he would intervene and either call you by your affectionate nickname (my love, my heart, my darling,...) or he would kiss you to make it clear who you belong to.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who intiated the first kiss?)

His kisses are always gentle and full of love or passionate, he’s mostly the one to kiss you first just because he can’t contain himself when you’re around him. He could spend his whole life kissing your lips.

L = Love language (What are their love languages?)

Gifts, gifts, gifts. He loves to cover you with gifts. He likes to buy you little things that remind him of you. That’s his way of telling you he loves you.

M = Mornings (Are they a morning person? What are they like in the morning?)

It depends, on day work, since Julian is very focused on punctuality he can gets pretty stressful in the morning. Running everywhere to be ready in time, and make sure he tie is perfect.

But I’m off days, he’s the biggest lazy guy in town. Mostly because he loves just to lay in bed and cuddle with you rather then get up and start the day.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil you? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Like I said before, Julian loves to buy you things so yes he spoils you A LOT ! And when you want him to buy you something, he can’t resist, always wanting to put a smile on your face.

O = Open (Do they say everything about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or overtime?)

Like mention before, It took a while to Julian to finally open up to you but as soon as he feels safe enough, he tells you everything !

P = Patience (Do they have patience? Are they angered easily?)

Julian has zero patience, he gets mad when he doesn’t have what he wants right now. It amuse you sometimes so you tease him with it but it’s is at your own risk.

Q = Quaint (What’s their favorite non modern thing to do?)

Julian as a disc record player in his appartement, he loves to listen to old vinyl with you. You learns to dance a slow with him thanks to it.

R = Remember (What’s their favorite moment in the relationship?)

It’s hard to choose but probably the day you accepted to be his girlfriend, it was such a magical day. He prepared a wonderful date that night, he made a whole delicious meal for you to to share together in his appartement. You slowed dance in his living-room and then his kisses you for the first time before asking you to be his after admitting his feeling to you. You spent the rest of the night cuddling and kissing like teenagers, it really is an amazing memory.

S = Security (How protective are they?)

He globally trust you so he’s not really overly protective, unless you propose you help to the flash team. Even more since you got attacked by a meta not long ago, this is the only time he can get really protective.

Otherwise he’s just normally protective, telling you to be careful when you come back late from work, etc. But it’s always in a cute and loving way never toxic or anything, he just cares about your safety like any boyfriend would.

T = Talking (what do they like to talk about?)

Obviously, sciences and all of that, but he also loves to talk about you, he always want to know more about you, your past, your family. Every little knew information about you makes him really happy.

U = Ugly (Whats a bad habit of theirs?)

Criticising EVERYTHING and everyone. That’s one of us default he always finds someone to say about something (especially Barry Allen), he can be either funny because we all know how sassy Julian is but it can be annoying sometimes.

V = Vaunt (Do they like to show you off?)

Yes ! He’s always so happy to present you as his girlfriend. He’s so proud to have you by his side. The worst thing is when someone goes to him and say ‘No way, you’re really dating Y/N’ with that, you’re stuck with him for an eternity, he will be doomed to hear him boast of having a wife as brilliant as you.

W = Whole (Do they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely, Julian would be lost without you. You’re his everything, all he does is to make you happy so yes.

X = Xylophone (What’s a song that reminds of your guy’s relationship?)

Can’t help falling in love - Elvis Presley

You two danced to this song the night he kissed you for the first time.

Y = Yuck (What’s something they hate that you do?)

Teasing him, you love to make him crazy and angry because let’s face it, Julian angry is the sexiest thing ever.

Z = Zzz (Are they a heavy or a light sleeper ?)

Heavy sleeper for sure, when he finally leaves work and get to bed, you never hear about him again before he wakes up the next day.

[anonymous0writer]

Pretending (Part Two)

Author: @anonymous0writer

Summary: When a tourist won’t leave you alone at a party in the Boneyard, you go to John B. for help. But something’s changed.

Warnings: Swearing... nothing else (I think) Alcohol use. Mentions of sex. Like twice.

A/N: This is a long one- but it’s finally here. I loved hearing the feedback! Thank you. :) Also, I might make this a slow burn. Idk. Let me know. Also, I’ve never had a hangover, and Idk how to write it.  Also, if you want to be tagged, let me know!

Part One here

You groan, keeping your face tucked into the pillow. Your head feels like it’s been split open. Your hangover is bad. Whatever was in that drink did the trick. You can barely remember where you were last night, but unfortunately, it didn’t wipe away the thing you hoped it would.

You didn’t want to face the day. Or John B. Or Pope, or Kie’s questioning eyes and her uncanny ability to know what you were thinking. And you certainly didn’t want to face the hangover that was going to kill you all day. 

But you’d have to face it eventually, right? You hoped it was something that’d go away with time, but you were never a very lucky person. 

“Y/N!! Are you up?” 

John B.’s voice carried through the room, reaching your ears. Conveniently, you stomach flopped at the familiar voice. God, you had butterflies. Butterflies. And this time, you weren’t able to blame it on the alcohol. You silently cursed yourself. 

You felt the couch you were currently sprawled across dip as John B. sat down at the end of the bed. You shut your eyes tightly. You did not like John B. This was some weird faze. John B. was your best friend. No romantic feelings involved. You didn’t like John Booker Routledge. Not one bit. Not ever. 

You jumped as a hand gently touched your shoulder. 

“Y/N?” He asked, hand still warm on your shoulder. “I know you’re awake.”

You groaned into the pillow again, and flipped over, lying on your back. You didn’t realize it, but your shirt slide up, exposing your stomach, and the bottom of your bra to your best friend. Your stomach was tan from days in the sun, and your bra was a lacy, white thing. You were too busy grumbling and throwing an arm across your eyes to protect yourself from the blinding sun to notice how John’s eyes flickered to your stomach. He licked his lips, eyes landing on the peek of the bra and bare stomach. But it was so quick, that even if you were staring right at him, your hungover brain wouldn’t have caught it. 

“John, leave me alone!” You heaved a sigh. You removed your arm from across your eyes and rubbed them. “God, it’s fucking bright in here.” 

He laughed, a sound you’ve always loved, but now it brings a flutter in your stomach. Fuck. You really had a crush on him. Your stomach did the classic teenage high school romance movie flip flop. And you hated it. This crush would easily turn into something bigger, knowing yourself. You spent all fucking day with the boy. How could you look at him in a platonic way again? Your feelings would grow and it’d fuck up your life. And you hated the way you fell like those cheesy high school movies. You never thought it was that realistic, and the cheesiness was like salt in the wound since you didn’t have much luck with boyfriends. Your total was a grand one of: one. Yes, one. And it was pretty bad. It was freshman year, and you were somewhat friends. You dated for a couple months and then you lost your virginity to him, and after that, you never talked. It wasn’t a great track record. But having you stomach flip like in the movies made you hate it all the more. This was a little too realistic.

“You gotta get up. There’s coffee and some breakfast in the kitchen. You should eat.” 

You squinted at him, from your spot nestled in a blanket on John B’s couch. For some reason, he seemed to talk to you more gently, and he was nicer. Wasn’t he? He seemed to treat you differently than he would normally. You hoped it was just your imagination, because you couldn’t deal if you had said something last night. Last night came back to your in fragmented pictures and hazy snap shots. 

You were begin chased by the cute tourist, Julian. You had finally got him off your back when you went to John B. And you convinced him that John B. was your boyfriend, and kissed him to prove it. Holy shit. You kissed John B. Oh god. 

You try to remember what happened after. You went to talk to Kie, and got crazy drunk. Then at an absurd hour, all five of you stumbled back to the van. And thank god to Pope for keeping the signal clear all night and refusing a drink, because you were sure that if you all got as drunk as you remembered, you’d all be dead in a ditch. 

You and JJ passed out on the couch, Kie going to the guest bedroom, John B. in his room and Pope on his usual spot of the couch on the porch. Those were your regular spots, though JJ usually had a touron and was giving it to her in a more private spot like the guest bedroom while you and Kie giggled on the couch. And that’s how you ended up, tangled in a blanket on John B.’s couch. 

“Where is everyone?” You asked, voice hoarse. 

John B. looked surprised. You didn’t acknowledge his comment about food, when usually, when this hungover, you would kill for food. He ran a hand through his hair. You sighed at the sight, sitting up. God, that hair. John B. would be the death of you.

“Um. Pope went home. He’s in lock down for a couple days after ditching his dad.” I winced. Poor Pope. “Kie’s up- I don’t she got as wasted as you did. You went fucking crazy with the drinks.” He studied you, and you shifted uncomfortably under his eyes. He was trying to figure out why you drowned the night away with hard alcohol, and you weren’t ready to give it up. You shrugged, and he sighed, continuing. “JJ’s passed out on the couch on the porch.” 

You nodded, running your hands through your hair. Maybe a shower would wake you up and clear your throbbing head. You swung your legs over the side of the couch, and immediately felt like you were going to throw up. “Shit.” You murmured and gagged. 

“Woah! You okay?” John asked, hand on the small of your back. You tensed. 

You nodded, the feeling of throwing up easing. “Yeah.” You stood on shaky legs. “I think I’m going to take a shower. Is that okay?”

He nodded. And watched as you slowly made your way to the bathroom, rubbing your eyes aggressively. A cold shower would clear your confused mind and wake you up. However, you didn’t catch the small glance down to your butt from the boy on the couch. You wore a big T-shirt Kie gave to you and small cut offs. 

You shut the bathroom door and looked at yourself in the mirror. Messy hair, wild eyes and a frown. You looked bad. And hungover. If your mom caught you like this she’d freak. Though you doubted she was sober enough to notice her daughter. She used to be a good mom, but dad left, and then she started to get rocky. You were eight when your father left, and it took two years until your mother teetered off the edge of her addiction. After that, she was going to work, halfway sober, coming home and drinking the day away. She did have good days, where she cleaned up, made you lunch and promised she’d quit. But her last good day had been three months ago. And you saw no hope for her to have another one. 

You started the shower, making sure the water was cold. You stripped, leaving your clothes on the bathroom floor. You slid under the wake of freezing water. 

“Holy fuck!” You squealed as the water hit your skin and chilled you to the bone. You took shaky breaths, fully awake. You moved, getting your hair wet and slowly getting used to the chilling water. You washed your hair and body and climbed out. 

You wrapped a towel around yourself and shivered. Realizing you had no clean clothes, you gathered your dirty ones in a ball and tiptoed out of the bathroom. 

“Kie!” You hissed, trying to wake the girl sprawled on the bed. You peered around the corner of the guest room. “Kiara!”

She grumbled as you entered the room. You closed the door and called your friends name again. She finally got up, opening her eyes.

“What?”

“I need clothes. Do you have a bag?”

Kie nodded. Whenever going to the Boneyard, she packed a bag of clothes for herself, and usually you(because you always forgot) so you’d have something clean to wear. And something that didn’t smell like beer, vodka and fire. You’d long since perfected the lies and ways to convince your parents that you’d just been having fun at John B.’s. Definitely not getting shitfaced drunk and hooking up with random guys.

She unzipped a backpack and flung clothes in your general direction. A bra, underwear and shorts hit your body as Kiara flopped back on the bed. She mumbled something about letting her sleep and pulled the covers back over her body. 

You quickly slipped on the underwear and the shorts but frowned when no shirt appeared. “Kie, what? Where’s a shirt?” 

“God, Y/N, you know how to annoy someone.” 

You mumbled an apology as your best friend sat up, and stretched. She stood and sifted through her bag. Kie frowns. 

“Whoops. I only packed myself a shirt. I’d give it to you, but I smell like booze and a bonfire.” She looked up at you. “My parents would kill me.”

You nodded. “That’s fine.” 

But now you were left in just a bra. And it was a black, showy one. You groaned. You were going to have to ask one of the boys for a shirt. Shit. You didn’t want to ask John B. Especially not in your bra, so you quietly exited Kie’s room to find JJ. 

“JJ?” You called, crossing your arms over your chest. 

He was in the living room, looking for his hat. He had shorts and a long sleeve on. He looked up, and his blue eyes traveled appreciatively over your body. You rolled your eyes. You didn’t feel uncomfortable even now. This was just JJ.

“Damn, Y/N.” JJ smirked at you. 

“Keep it in your pants, Maybank. Do you have a shirt?” You scoffed, uncrossing your arms to flip him off. He’d seen you like this hundreds of times when you were in just a bikini on the beach. 

JJ shook his head. “Sorry, babe.” He paused. “Maybe, John B. does.”

Your eyes widened. Oh shit. But it was too late. JJ was already yelling his friends name. You closed you eyes briefly, pinching the bridge of your nose. John B. opened the front door, wearing a one button shirt that showed off his tanned and toned chest. You swallowed. His eyes widened at the sight of you in shorts and a showy, black bra. A small smile tugged on his lips. 

“What?”

“Do you have a shirt for Y/N?” JJ asked. 

You bit your lip, hoping the answer was yes, because you really hoped you didn’t have to parade around in a bra all day. You’d done it before, with a even smaller bikini top, but you didn’t want to when you got butterflies every time John B. talked and he was looking at you like that.

“Uh, yeah.” John B. smiled at you as he passed you. As he did, you got a whiff of his scent. It smelled nice. He smelled like salt water. The smell was soothing.

JJ frowned, confused, at you. “Why are blushing?”

You eyes widen. Fuck. “I’m not blushing J.”

JJ smirked, making his way towards you. “Oh, yeah you are!” He laughed, and cupped your face, examining the red blooming on your cheeks. “You’re fucking blushing, Y/N!”

You glared and swatted his hands away. “I am not!”

JJ laughed, leaning close. “I bet you have a crush on John B.”

Jeez. Were you that easy to read? Deciding it was no use to deny it, you pressed a finger to your lips, begging him to keep it a secret. He did the motion of locking his lips and throwing away the key. You sighed in relief. 

“Here you go.” John B. said, holding out a shirt of his to you. You spun on your heel and grabbed the shirt, thanking him. You slid it over your head and tucked the front into your shorts. You felt better and smiled at John. 

John ran a hand through his hair. “We should get breakfast and head out to surf. There are good waves today.” 

You nodded. “I’ll grab Kie.”

After eating breakfast and downing coffee, you, JJ, Kiara and John B. arrived at the beach and started surfing. Sadly, Pope couldn’t get out of helping his father, even for an hour, so it was just the four of you. 

The boys called out, yelling and cheering as they raced for the next big wave coming towards you. Without thinking, you dropped on your board and raced after them. Kie was on your heels. 

You got the wave, coasting freely. You did a couple tricks, and a new one JJ taught you. You caught JJ’s eye and he clapped. 

“Nice job!” 

“Thanks!” You yelled back. You’d been working on that one for weeks, and you finally mastered it.

Kie appeared at your side, and you both sat dormant in the water, not yet ready to chase another wave. She smiled at you, lifting a hand to block the sun. 

“Can we talk?”

“Yeah, of course.” You smiled. “What’s up?”

“It’s not about me. It’s about you.” Kie said, catching you by surprise. About you? “What happened at the Boneyard last night? Something was on your mind.”

You blinked. Oh. Right. Kie asked you what was wrong, and you didn’t want to talk about it. That was when you were confused about the kiss and feelings exploding in your gut, and right before you got shitfaced. 

“Oh.” You struggled to find words. “I guess- I like someone who I shouldn’t.” 

It felt like getting something heavy off your chest, but it wasn’t like you’ve been building feelings for John B. and have finally confessed. You weren’t even a hundred percent sure you liked him liked him.

Kie’s eyes widen. “Shit!” She narrowed her eyes. “You’re not fucking a Kook are you, ‘cause-”

“No! Kie! Of course not!” You shivered at the thought. 

Your best friend frowned. “Then who do you like? Oh!” Her dark eyes shot up to meet yours. They were as wide as saucers. “Holt crap! You like a pogue. Like a one in the crew!” Her hand flew to her mouth.

You bit your lip and nodded. Kiara leaned closer. “Who?” She frowned. “JJ?”

“No.” 

“John B. You like him don’t you?” She guessed. 

“I think so.” You groaned, putting your face in your hands. “I don’t know. We kissed last night- we were pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend because this guy wouldn't leave me alone.” 

Her eyes widen, and she pulled your board closer. “Shit! But we have the no macking rule.” She frowned.

“Is Y/N macking someone?” John B. asked, smirking as he paddled over on his board. 

You rolled your eyes, trying to play it off. “No. Kie’s just joking.”

Kiara rolled her eyes. “We should head back. I’m craving a beer.”

“I could go for a beer!” JJ whooped as he joined your cluster of surf boards. You guys laughed and made your way back to the beach. Once you settle down on towels and had cracked open a couple beers, you noticed the looks Kiara and JJ were giving you. They looked at you and used their eyes to motion for you to sit next to John B.

You shook your head. These two idiots would give it away. You took a sip of your beer, suddenly needing the alcohol. JJ jumped up, sending sand flying. You flipped him off, glaring. You brushed off your shirt and pushed your sunglasses over your eyes. It was four o’clock, yet the sun was still burning. 

“We should play truth or dare!” JJ proposed, grinning wildly. Your stomach dropped. Oh no. Kie nodded animated, and voiced her agreement. What were these two up two? You had a bad feeling, and knew this wouldn’t end well. For you. 

Before you could decline, John B shrugged and sat next to you in the sand. You glanced at him, the sunlight lighting up his eyes. “Sure.” 

You closed your eyes. Holy god. 

“Alright!” JJ clapped, still standing before you, John and Kie. “Let’s get started. Kie- truth or dare?” He pointed finger guns at her, fake shooting. She laughed, and picked truth. 

JJ sat down, crossing his legs and resting his arms on the tops of his knees. A beer hung loosely from his hand. He met your gaze and winked his baby blues at you. You looked at him, pleading that he just let the game drop. But he smirked a wicked smile and you knew there was no hope. You took another sip of the beer. 

“Last time you had sex?” JJ asked, eyes on Kie. 

Kie thought, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “Month ago.”

You laugh. You remember the boy. Kie was trying to talk to him about the turtles and he only listened because he thought she was hot and wanted to fuck. He was an asshole. 

“My turn right?” Kie asked, eyes dancing with mischief. “John B.” 

He looked up, “Shoot.” They seemed to unanimously pick truth. You prayed this game wasn’t just going to be truth.

“If you had to kiss a pogue, who’d you choose?”

Oh lord. You’re cheeks burned, ready for the embarrassment of him rejecting you. You licked your lips and rested your head on your knees, trying to hide. 

“Oh, easy.” John B. grinned. “Y/N.” He pulled you close. “She’s my girlfriend.”

You were pressed against his side, arm thrown over your shoulders. You curled into his warmth without realizing it. Despite yourself, you laughed and smiled. 

You pulled out of his grasp. John tapped his fingers against his chin. “JJ!” The blue eyed boy looked up. “What was the name of the last girl you fucked?”

JJ smirked. “I have no clue.”

That spouted a round of laughter between you. The game continued, Kie and JJ laying off on the questions of you and John, but they still heavily hinted. As the game continued, so did the alcohol. You were all a little drunk, but JJ had knocked a couple more back, fully drunk.

He stood up abruptly, raising his hands in the air. “Alright! John B.would you-” 

“JJ, it’s not your turn,” You rolled your eyes. 

“-date Y/N?” He yelled, catching your eye. Fuck. Did he just ask if John would date you? That’s not a typical question. 

John B.’s eyes went wide. “What?” His brows furrowed. “Why’d you ask me that?”

Your cheeks burned. He was going to reject you. This was going to be so bad. You didn’t think it could get worse. 

JJ laughed, “’cus she fucking likes you man!” 

You heart skipped a beat. You were wrong. It could get worse.

[thatnerdnextdoor24]

on love’s light wings

I'm stuck on quarantine and I hate online lessons. Also, I've had this quote stuck in my head all day. Yes, I know that it's actually "With love's light wings." But I like "on" more, okay? Shakespeare would let me take some liberties. It's fine. Now enjoy the soft gays.

ao3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The idea of waking up, in a lover’s embrace, had always seemed so romantical and impossibly far away. It sounded like something straight out of one of Tessa's favorite novels. Something that had always had an attractive appeal to Kit. But he knew that if he tried to reach it, to search for it, he would be sorely hurt and disappointed. That was, until it hadn't been. Until the day when Kit had finally dared, he took a leap of faith and found that there was, indeed, someone to catch him.

Ty. 

He had caught him. Easily, with a grace and romance, only a Shadowhunter Centurion could have. That seemed so long ago. Lifetimes ago. Yes, the Kit that did not believe in a lover's embrace, was a very different Kit. Because the Kit the now, was in such an embrace. In fact, he found himself in it often. Despite that, Kit still feared that he might one day lose it. So he would find himself studying the scene before him. 

The sun would leak through the curtains. Casting a golden glow across their apartment bedroom. Their legs had tangled together, the sheets bundled around them. Ty's dark curls spilled across the pillows. His eyebrow, usually quirked or furrowed in curiosity, would be relaxed. His arm draped around Kit’s middle. Ty's face would gleam in the morning light. He seemed so, impossibly still. So beautiful. Like youth and beauty in a single frame. Like one of the statues in the Institute's garden. Ethereal. Eternal. 

Kit would let his hand trace Ty's collar bone, his shoulder, down his bicep. He took no small amount of pride and satisfaction in his boyfriend's lack of clothing. He could have laid there forever. Ty made a small noise, (he did that in his sleep a lot) and nuzzled his face closer to Kit's. A smile drifted across his face, he closed his eyes in an attempt to fall back asleep to the sound of Ty breathing. Then the cat started. That damn cat. Clawing at the door and meowing constantly. Kit had lived with the cat long enough to know that it wouldn’t go away until fed. Ty murmured in his sleep, he was always a heavier sleepier than Kit. 

With a sigh, Kit crawled out of bed. Careful not to disturb Ty. Irene, it seemed, didn’t have such notions, because she just meowed louder. Kit rushed to throw on some underwear and a T-shirt, and hustled out the door. “I hear ya.” He hissed at Irene, using his foot to keep her from rushing into the bedroom. Their LA apartment was small. The bedroom door leading right out into the livingroom and the adjourned kitchen. The light flooded from the big window overlooking the city. Everything was quiet, as if the world hadn’t quite woken up either. Kit drifted past the couch and into the kitchen, Irene at his heels.

Irene was a smart cat, he had to give her that. She had recently been registered as a service animal, and she was good at it. She could tell when Ty was about to have an attack. She knew how to help him through them. Irene wasn’t half bad at tracking demons either. It was very difficult for Kit to stay annoyed or mad at Irene. Especially when she had helped Kit a few times as well. Both in the demon hunting aspect, and in getting through panic attacks.

Besides, Ty always felt better when Irene was around, especially when Kit or Julian weren’t with him. Living in the middle of the second most populated city in the US never helped Ty’s autism. Kit had once asked if he’d ever want to move to somewhere quiet, but Ty had simply said that LA was home. So that was the end of that. 

Irene jumped gracefully onto the kitchen counter. Waiting patiently. “Oh, so you’re going to be all nice and quiet, huh? Now that you’ve got me awake.” Kit mused. Irene tilted her head innocently. A chuckle escaped Kit, he reached out and gave the cat a gentle scratch behind the ears. She let out a soft purr. 

He made quick work of getting her food. It was something he did every Sunday morning, the movements now a natural reflex. He filled the blue food bowl and set it down. Irene descended the counter in a single bound. “Happy now?” He asked, and he could’ve sworn she scoffed as she devoured her breakfast. Kit rolled his eyes and glanced at the oven clock. It read; 9:07. Ty revolved his life around a strict schedule. But Sunday’s were different. There was still a schedule, but there was only one thing on it. At 10 am, they would go to the Institute and eat Julian’s pancakes with the rest of the Blackthorns. They would linger and leave around noon, and then, it was just them. Just Ty and Kit, to do as they pleased.

Sometimes they’d go to lunch and a movie. Sometimes they wandered the mall, or downtown. Sometimes they went to the library, or sometimes they just went home. Sundays were always Kit's favorite day of the week. Kit was about to head back to the bedroom to awaken his sleeping beauty, when a pair of arms snaked around his waist. “Good morning.” Ty hummed, his face buried in the crook of Kit’s neck. Kit leaned against Ty’s chest, “I thought you were asleep.” He whispered. Ty shrugged, “It was cold without you.” His arms tightening around Kit as if to emphasize. Kit’s chest rumbled a laugh. Ty was right. It was warmer now. He turned in his lover's embrace to wrap his own arms around his love’s neck. 

“On love's light wings.” He murmured, pressing a soft kiss to his boyfriend's lips. Ty smiled against him. It was something that Kit said often to Ty, and it always lit his face up in a smile. The old Kit would have never said something so soft and lovely, but this Kit did. Kit had found it when he’d read Romeo and Juliet one boring summer day at Cirenworth Hall, years ago. It had spoken to Kit. Lept off the pages and stuck in his head all day. The perfect way to describe it he’d thought, and it was a strange thought. The Kit at that time, that younger, angrier Kit, didn’t think about love often. But he had loved his new family.

He loved the way Mina would sometimes stop crying when he scooped her up. It made his heart swell when she went from tears to giggles because of him. He loved the way Tessa’s voice changed when she read a story. How invested and serious she took story time each night. He would sit on the floor while she cradled Mina and sat in the rocking chair. Softly rocking and reading the girl to sleep. He loved the way Jem taught him. He taught him everything. From languages and history, math and science, to fighting and tumbling, climbing and tracking. He taught it all with a gentle hand and firm but simple instructions. 

Kit loved all these things. They made his heart lift and soar. Made him feel ten feet tall, as if he could take on anything and come out on top. Yes, ‘loves light wings’, that was it. That was what made him feel like that, what picked him off his feet and sent him to the highest places. Love had always sounded so heavy to him. Like a burden or a weight, holding him down, a chain keeping him in place. But that wasn’t it at all. Love was light. Love was fragile. Love was blissful and sweet. Love was warm and soft. He didn’t know this, not until a night when the stars were bright. When he and Ty had sat on the roof of the Institute.

 After he had spilled his guts in a less than graceful, but much clearer, confession. Things were oddly comfortable, yet Kit didn’t know where they would go from there. Or what he should do. In the end, it had been Ty, who leaned over and asked to kiss him. The world had stopped spinning, just for a moment. Then he had kissed him, and it spun again. Faster, wilder, clearer than before. Kit had kissed people before, sure. Many times, with mostly girls. They had never felt quite right. No matter how much he had cared. But this, this had been more than right. It was meant to be. That line had come back to him. When they had pulled apart, a little breathless, Ty’s eyes shining brighter than any moon or star. Kit’s heart leaping into his throat.

“On love’s light wings...” He’d whispered, without thinking. Ty tilted his head, his headphones had slipped around his neck. “Romeo?” he asked. Kit’s face flushed. “Yeah, I-uh-I understand it now. I didn’t before. But now I do.” He had stumbled, expecting to be teased. But Ty would never, he knew that now. His face had split into a smile. A dazzling, beautiful smile. That knocked the breath out of Kit, and he could feel those wings of love. Light, and gentle. They wrapped around him and lifted him up. They held him, re-molded him. Shaped him into someone new, someone he had forgotten was there. 

In his mind, there had been the Kit before, the Kit that was angry, who hated his father and wanted his mother back. Who didn’t know who he was, who had loved, but never loved in return. Then there was the Kit who was still young, and confused. But who had loved. But was then broken. Then he was back at that angry Kit. Yet slowly, he had begun to change. Becoming a Kit who learned to let go of that anger. Who finally, laid his parents to rest in the back of his heart. And in this particular moment, he became a Kit who had finally found himself. Who loved and was loved back. This was the Kit, who had grown up. 

Now, Ty was kissing him in their kitchen. When he pulled back, he gave Kit a curious look. “What are you thinking about?” he asked, his hair still messy from sleep, the dark waves falling into his face. Kit brushed them away. “That I love you.” A boyish grin on his face. Ty pressed a kiss to his cheek, “I love you too,” He said. “And we should take a shower.” He let go of Kit, giving him a smirk over his shoulder as he entered the bathroom, leaving the door cracked open. Kit leaned against the kitchen counter, still grinning softly. He stood there for a few minutes before the words and smirk registered in his head. His cheeks heated. Irene licked her paw at his feet, giving him a strangely judging look. “Don’t look at me like that.” He muttered, and followed his boyfriend. 

This Kit, he decided, had it a lot better, and liked it better, than the old one.

[archosaur-automaton]

Alone Together, Part 1

“I managed to reattach the limb, but you’ll have to take a ganglionic regeneration serum to keep the nerve bundles from atrophying,” Julian said to the Brazkonian on his table.

“Unfortunately for you, the damage done to the cargo bay can’t be regenerated so easily,” Odo said gruffly. He motioned to his deputies. “Put him in a holding cell until we hear word from the embassy on Brazkon.” Silently, the arachnoid man got up and walked with the two officers out of the medical bay, a sullen expression on his face.

Odo scoffed. “Petty thieves. They’re never very bright about their schemes, are they?”

Julian nodded, sitting down at his desk. “Brazkon Prime isn’t even part of the Federation! That’s sure to start a diplomatic row. I’ve no doubt he’ll end up in very hot water with his government.” He tapped at a PADD, his attention shifting entirely to the paperwork.

Odo grunted, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked down at the doctor, studying him closely. After a moment, Bashir looked over at him quizzically. “Was there something else I could help you with, Constable?”

“Actually, there was. I’ve been meaning to speak with you about this for a while now.” Julian raised an eyebrow but remained silent. Odo made a small harrumph, before continuing. “For a long while, I wasn’t sure, given my limited experience with observing humans, but it’s become strikingly obvious that you have a certain...interest in me.”

Julian let out a laugh, before collecting himself. “Not that I mean any offense, constable, but you are unfortunately not my ‘type’, if you understand my meaning.”

Odo tilted his head to one side. “I’m not implying romantic or sexual attraction. In fact, just the opposite. Still, when we work together, there is a sense of...excitement I can detect, an eagerness. If it were romantic in nature, that would be one thing; but since it is not, and I have no explanation as to the cause, I find it somehow more distracting than the alternative.”

Julian blinked a few times and averted his gaze, his face scrunched up in thought. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but no sound came out, and he sat there agape for several moments. Eventually, however, he cleared his throat, shifting in his seat as he searched for the words. “I hadn’t thought that I was doing anything that might give it away,” he said in a small voice.

“It’s my job to be able to ‘read’ people, to make inferences as to the behaviours and thought-processes of humanoids. Also,” he added, a tone of amusement in his voice, “you are perhaps more transparent than you like to think. At any rate, I don’t mean to be demanding, but I feel our professional relationship has suffered somewhat because of this.”

Julian nodded slowly, the gears of thought whirling visibly in his head. “I only hope that you won’t think it terribly odd,” he said, a plaintive expression on his face. Odo harrumphed, more curious than annoyed, and Julian nodded again slightly before continuing. “And of course our circumstances are so very different, but -- you are of course familiar with my genetic augmentation, yes?”

Odo nodded, the annoyance creeping back into his voice. “Go on...”

Julian sighed. “It’s just that...as a child, I was developmentally disabled. I had delays in the acquisition of language skills, motor coordination, an incredibly poor memory. I was...different from everyone else my age, and even then I knew it.” He swallowed, an uneasy tone in his voice. “Different in a way I could tell was...wrong. I felt like a disappointment, like I was in some way shameful, as if my very existence was a discomfort to my parents. Until I was augmented, that is; then I was different in a good way. I was capable of grand achievements, of excelling, of being useful to my parents. But even though I had changed, something stayed the same; I came to realize that I was still being dehumanized. First for being defective, and then for being a miracle of science, something my parents could brag about and show off, someone who could...do party tricks for an enrapt audience. ”

He looked up at the ceiling, his lower lip quivering ever so slightly. “Wherever we went, whomever we were with, my father would encourage me to perform all sorts of...feats. Recite a poem by Wordsworth backwards, Julian. Name all the species of noctis beetle on Kaligar 2B, Julian. Tell me what color shoes I was wearing exactly 211 days ago, Julian.” He let out a shaky breath, running his fingers through his hair, before looking back at Odo.

“What I mean to say with all of this, is that...to be perfectly honest, I find myself seeing a reflection of my own life in yours, to some degree.”

Odo tilted his head. “That’s an interesting statement.”

Julian looked apologetic. “I know. Like I said, I -- I suppose I can’t presume to really know your circumstances. But there are things I cannot help but feel...resonate with my own experience. Being so different from those around you, feeling unable to ‘fit in’, being so distant and alien from those around you. Did you know,” he said with a wry smile, “that as a child, even after I was augmented, for the longest time I was convinced I was some freakish creature plucked from another world and set loose? At eighteen, I ran my own DNA tests on myself, desperate to find something that proved I was from elsewhere, that I wasn’t truly human.” He rubbed at his temple, frowning. “I’m sorry, I’m rambling.”

“Not at all, doctor,” he said, his tone flat and his expression even more inscrutable than usual. “Please, by all means continue.”

Julian took a deep breath. “I suppose where I’m going with all of this is, that in all of this I feel a strange sense of...not quite kinship, but affinity, of connection. We aren’t really close personal friends, but all the same I feel...a little more comfortable around you, like I do with the other augments. I had always hoped that perhaps we could get to know each other better -- to bond over some shared understanding of what it’s like to be an outsider.” He stared at his hands, a drained and tired look on his face. “That’s really all I had to say on that subject, I suppose.”

“Thank you very much for sharing, doctor,” Odo said, uncrossing his arms abruptly. “Especially about such a...personal affair. However, I think we would both be best served if we maintained our current professional distance, especially given the nature of our respective jobs.”

Julian nodded rapidly. “Oh, of course, absolutely. That’s a perfectly reasonable reaction, and really it makes a lot of sense. I suppose I’m just grateful to have had the chance to say all that. I only hope this doesn’t create any...friction between us.”

“I don’t think there’s any need to worry about that, doctor,” Odo said, turning to leave. “Now, if it’s alright with you, I have some business to attend to. Good evening.”

Julian gave a small wave as the changeling left the medical bay, a polite smile on his face. As soon as the constable was well out of view, however, he let out a long, slow breath. Breathing heavily, he put his head in his hands. “Computer; lights,” he said. There, as the room filled with darkness, Julian’s fingers curled tightly in his hair, his eyes screwing shut. And when the ache inside became too much to bear, there in the solitude of the medical bay, alone, Julian let the tears flow, and flow, and flow.

[theheightofdishonor]

Top 10 Battles in the Metal Saga (in no particular order)

Kyoya-Ryuga 

There aren’t many battles that are just about raw power the way this one is. The whole thing is just so extra, from ruining the stadium before the battle even begins to ending with Ryuga’s possession and Kyoya passing out with a dragon’s tail going through his chest. The power-play between these two is riveting. And on top of that, it’s the closest anyone but Gingka and Nemesis ever gets to beating Ryuga. However, it does annoy me that Kyoya is the only one of Ryuga’s opponents in Battle Bladers who comes out unaffected in the long-term. After their respective battles, Hikaru retires from Beyblade, Tsubasa suffers with possession, and both experience a healthy dose of PTSD but apparently, Kyoya gets away with no signs of it? I call bullshit. 

2.Da Xian - Julian 

If you didn’t love Da Xiang before, you had to after this battle. It did a brilliant job of highlighting how good Dashan is at manipulating people, and doing so “coolly, and brilliantly”. Dashan sees the scene as the opportunity it is and coaxes Julian from a disheartened shell of his former self to someone who’s willing to try again without the man even knowing. Oh, and he gets Julian to appreciate the value of his friends too. And beats him in battle easily. And delivers, “You think you and I are alike? That’s an insult, ” decimating Julian’s remaining pride. Talk about being cool. (Chao Xin should definitely take pointers)

3. Gingka vs 100 (supposedly) Face Hunters 

I had a hard time choosing between this and the battle earlier in the episode where Gingka first saves Kenta from Face Hunters, but I think this holds more impact and the one Kenta thinks is more notable. As a fight itself, it’s short compared to some of the other more epic battles on this list, and its placement is more about the consequences of it than the contents of the actual battle itself.  It’s the moment where Kenta’s admiration for Gingka really cements, and the moment that Kyoya takes a serious interest in him, shaping his relationship with two people who will be monumental in his life. Also, Gingka looks super cool and baby Kenta is adorable. 

 4.  Excalibur-Gan Gan Galaxy 

This battle has one of my favourite scenes of ALL TIME- Masamune single-handedly cutting through Sophie and Wales’s joint special move. Let me just take a second to gush about how powerful he is and how much I love him and how he deserves so much more love and did I mention he stopped the twins in their track with ONE MOVE. Your fave could never but if I don’t stop now, i’ll be talking about Masamune all day. 

The visual of Pegasus and Striker moving as one force, with the music crescendoing only for Destroyer to cut them down at the climax, is breathtaking. Seriously, I’ve watched that one scene on repeat and my breath catches. 

I love to see Masamune and Gingka work together as a team, especially because it’s not their preferred dynamic and it doesn’t always come easily to them. But when they try, they’re magic together, partially because they’re so alike. This is the only battle where we get the full force of the Y-Masamune-Gingka dynamic, a god-tier trio who can only possess one brain cell when they’re together because otherwise, they’d be way too strong. Let’s be real. If these morons actually combined their intelligence, they would have crushed Excalibur to dust. We need more scenes with them tbh

As a side note, it was not at all ok for these guys to crash the festival or for Yu to ruin a culturally important arena. It’s played off way to lightheartedly for my tastes.  It’s not even the only time they’re insensitive- in Fury, Yu and Kyoya damage ancient ruins and Gingka’s group explicitly disobeys orders to not step on a sacred volcano. The whole thing is kinda gross and the Metal Saga should address its serious disregard for other cultures. Sophie losing her shit on a literal 12 year old was funny though. 

5. The Legendary Bladers-Nemesis part 2 

This is a pretty long battle, I linked it to where the battle begins but it doesn’t end until the end of the next episode. There’s a lot about this battle that drives me crazy- like why are you people just letting Kenta destroy himself, why are the strongest bladers in the world who were specifically chosen for this battle unable to withstand for more than two hits, etc  BUT- this is when Ryuga hands over the Star Fragment which is cool and emotional enough to let everything else slide. It’s a pretty satisfying conclusion to the Kenta-Ryuga arc and rings parallel to Metal Fusion down to Ryuga pulling a Storm Pegasus and disappearing into thin air.Which talking about, I will forever be mad Storm Pegasus doesn’t ever come into play after Metal Fusion. Shogun Steel would have been such a perfect time to bring Storm Pegasus back to play and assure in a new era- such wasted potential, but I digress. 

Oh, and friendly reminder that Yu’s Inferno Blast breaks through Rago’s barrier while 8 Legendary Bladers combined couldn’t leave a dent on Nemesis. 

6. Kenta-Reiji

Talking about emotional, if you didn’t cry during this battle, you’re a liar- it’s painful to watch. The entire thing with Kenta using Libra’s performance tip and his insistence that he has to win for Yu- it breaks your heart. Reiji is such a great villain because he does exactly what he’s meant to do- make the audience be invested in him. He’s so unnecessarily cruel, so irredeamable, and this episode drills that into your skull. Even the spectators of the match can’t look on as Reiji tortured Kenta well after Sagittario has stopped spinning. 

7. Easter Island

It would take too long to name everyone involved in this, so i’m not going to. But boy is it a ride You’ve got King starting it off with Chris for insulting/defeating/humiliating Masamune- a noble cause if there ever was one. His impassioned defense of his boyfriend is one of the best speeches/declarations in the Saga and is also 80% of the reason this battle is on the list. The guy has his priorities straight, ok. Gingka says it’s either Masamune’s feelings or the world and King chooses Masamune, no questions, no hesitations. Can’t say I blame him. Especially after seeing the heartbreak on Masamune’s face when Chris insults him. But of course, the world is actually more important so 

 Gingka jumps in to stop King which as Benkai mentions, you can’t stop him from battling by actually battling him, so I don’t know what Gingka was thinking. Johannes’s lackies, including Aguma and the Beylin Fist, joins the battle, prompting Zeo, Toby, etc to also join. Then Ryuga appears and starts draining Chris’s power before Kenta stops him (thus publically revealing their affiliation to the world) and the two disappear. Literally everyone is involved, Johannes tells Chris to “man up” when he dares to show pain that Ryuga is literally stealing his power away but then vanishes because he doesn’t want to face Gingka head on yet. Can you say hypocrite? And while this was all happening, Johannes somehow managed to buy Chris’s loyalties.

It’s insane and so much fun. 

8.Tsubasa-Jack

I didn’t expect to put this on the list but I watched it recently and had a newfound appreciation for it so here it is. While the team battle with Excalibur was the climax of Tsubasa’s arc, this was the resolution. It is arguably Tsubasa’s best battle of the series. He made his recovery with Excalibur, had a practice run with the Garcias, and by this battle, Tsubasa is better than ever. There’s a satisfaction in watching Tsubasa beat Jack with ease. After struggling the entire season, it's very cathartic. There’s this one bit where Jack is complaining about battling Ryuga and how Tsubasa can’t possibly know the disappointment he felt  and Tsubasa snaps, because how fucking dare he, who the fuck did Jack think he is. Again, very cathartic.

Irrelevant, but this episode has some of the best quotes including gems like

 “What is this? A bunch of creepy pictures”; 

“Oh dear Tsubasa” queue Jack asking for a battle; 

“You’re really lacking in the culture department” - Jack to Madoka,  “

The rest of Gan-Gan Galaxy are common, unrefined types”.

 The list never ends. Do yourself a favour and watch the episode.

9. Zoe-Toby-Masamune

This is the only season where there’s no one Final Battle but instead two separate climactic moments- Ryuga and Gingka working together to stop Hades City from melting down(?) and Toby and Zeo  fighting to bring Toby back to normal. 

Unlike the Finales in Fusion and Fury, this one’s private, personal. Not only were Ryuga-Gingka battle and the Battle against Nemesis attended by a lot of people, they were also widely broadcasted across the world. In comparison, Toby, Zeo and Masamune (and Ziggurat at one point) are the only ones to witness the Finale in Masters. It’s a very intimate moment. Their friendship is fractured-Toby's brainwashed,  Zeo was manipulated, and there’s still tension because Masamune left them in a time of need. The two of them are finally confronting just how much their friendship has strained: Masamune never imagined Zeo would resent him when he only ever wanted to fulfill Toby’s wish; he’s almost offended Zeo would think so badly of him. On the other hand, Zeo wrestles between accepting Ziggurat manipulated him but also his very valid resentment towards Masamune. They both hurt each other but get past it and forgive each other for the sake of their best friend. Bey battles are when bladers communicate through each other and in this one, these three use it to find their way back to each other. 

10.  

Gingka-Kyoya

Of course, the list wouldn’t be complete without a Gingka-Kyoya battle. Despite Kyoya being Gingka’s second biggest rival, they only have 3 complete battles with a clear winner. (Kyoya is disqualified in Survival Battle, and neither won in the Championships Team battle or the one in Fury). Despite there being so few options, it was still hard for me to choose because they’re all brilliant and my opinion changes every other day. 

Honestly, I didn’t remember why I chose this battle, so I went back in and re-watched it- SO many thoughts. For one thing, Kyoya sounds like a cheesy bat man villain.  Seriously though, the battle feels so off to me because in this episode, Kyoya is more or less just another evil villain; a pale foreshadow of what Ryuga will become in the Final Battle. I’m not even kidding. This hits almost the exact beats that the Gingka-Ryuga battle will.  I didn’t like this battle when I re-watched it for this post. Gingka and Kyoya’s battles are important because of the history and bond they share and in this battle, neither of those are solidified and it’s just not as satisfying. 

I will admit though that this battle was important for them, mostly Kyoya who was headed towards unhinged-Ryuga territory before Gingka saved him. It kickstarts Kyoya into being the lovable grump we know he’s capable of being and creates a debt towards Gingka which in turn develops into an actual friendship. It’s an important step of their journey and I can’t begrudge it too much ig. If you really want to watch a Gingka-Kyoya battle for non-thematic reasons, though, I recommend the World Championships or the one in Metal Fury Ep 1

[greyvvardenfell]

can i get uhhhhh multiples of 5 for reyja and julian?

:3c

5. What activities do they enjoy together?

Pub trivia (they have different but equally broad scopes of knowledge and fantastic memories for facts so good fucking luck beating them), working (sometimes if you want to spend time with your workaholic partner, you have to go where he is), cooking (if it happens which is rare but julian likes being told what to do and reyja likes not having to do everything herself)

10. Write a ~300 word argument scene for them.

arguments in the north/devorak household are exceedingly uncommon because julian will cave immediately if he realizes an argument is happening, regardless of how he actually feels about it. he enjoys banter, but if he catches even a whiff of an actual disagreement, he is Out. they have occasional clashes over not taking care of themselves, a problem they are equally prone to so they usually end in a stalemate since pushing for self-care is hypocritical on both sides, so while they both get upset if the other isn’t eating or sleeping or whatever, a simple “you don’t either” will end it and a “we’ll do better” pact is made.

there is only One major argument that actually qualifies as an argument, and remains the only proper fight they’ve ever had. and it’s about reyja’s extreme jealousy which boils down to her not trusting julian to love her completely and he is rightfully angry about that.

15. What are traits they dislike in one another?

julian snores, which sometimes wakes reyja up and she does not tolerate having her sleep disturbed. (the catch is that reyja also snores and has woken mr. light-sleeper devorak up before but he doesn’t mind nearly as much). that’s not really a trait but it’s the first thing that came to mind. 

reyja is super prone to jealousy, as mentioned, and it stresses julian out. not only because it reflects poorly on him as a partner but it’s also stifling and disappointing. he has chosen to turn down roles at the theater if they have any sort of romantic aspect before, for fear of upsetting reyja. (which it would, because she’s just that jealous, but she needs to address it damn it and he’s so averse to hurting her in any way, including times when it would be infinitely more helpful if he would just take that step). by the same token, julian is protective to a fault. sometimes it’s nice and comforting, other times it’s annoying because he doesn’t want her to “have” to go to the market herself, just in case.... his isn’t rooted in jealousy though, just fear of having something happen.

20. What is a promise they have made to each other?

other than the obvious marriage vows, they’re very committed to making sure both are comfortable with all of their many kinky experiments. they do a lot, and some of it is hard kink, and while consent is the very least that one should expect in kink scenarios it’s also the most important. they’re also just... devoted to each other. they want to grow and change together, and decide to love each other every day. it’s cheesy, but one of the biggest promises they’ve made.

25. What moves do they know work on the other?

julian: he’s sensitive, like, everywhere, and turns into horny goo if his nipples are played with or his hair is pulled. and honestly he just likes his ass touched: fingered, rimmed, pegged... his masochism can be easily pacified by leaving his dick alone while stimulating everything else. indirect pleasuring prolongs the experience and also turns him into a writhing, crying mess. he likes that.

reyja: regardless of the role she takes, she wants to feel desired. if julian is begging for her while she’s domming him, or if he’s tending to her while she’s subbing, she’s happy. she also likes to be bitten: it’s such a primal response to stimulation. honestly, most forms of body worship will please her, especially in public. if julian likes to be overwhelmed, which he does, reyja likes doing the overwhelming.

30. Write a short exchange of dirty talk between them.

ohhhhh once again i should write a new thing and once again i’m not going to.

“What has you so captivated this morning, hmm?”

Julian’s been openly staring at me across the table for a while now, his coffee abandoned and growing cold. “Only the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen,” he replies huskily.

“Yeah?” I slide my oatmeal spoon into my mouth and remove it with an audible pop. “Who might that be?”

“Oh, I think you know her.” He licks his lips. “Fiercely intelligent, staggeringly funny, hips to die for.” He pauses for effect as he leans across the table. “And she’s a hell of a tease.”

[...]

“Is she? Sounds like you two would get along well."

"Famously, even! The chemistry between us would be, dare I say, magical?” Julian waggles his eyebrows and grins.

“I’m sure she’d be open to testing your theory. If she’s who I’m thinking of, she likes the…” I pause, drawing out the word as I smile seductively. “Hard sciences too.”

[nitrateglow]

For the ranking ask: Alan Arkin, Gene Kelly, Claude Rains, Katharine Hepburn

ALAN ARKIN

5. Deadhead Miles - There are so many subtle details and touches in Arkin’s characterization that elevate what looks like a drugged up manchild into a rather lonely, sad figure. You get the sense he’s lost anything that anchors him (a family, religion, etc.) and he’s just coasting through life, conning people for kicks more than anything, though he still has a soul and can feel badly for people worse off than himself.

4. The Heart is a Lonely Hunter - Totally heartbreaking performance, yet without an iota of self-pity or bathos. Also, his use of ASL looks very convincing. It makes me sad Arkin didn’t really do more dramatic work of this caliber in the 70s and 80s.

3. The In-Laws - In terms of his pure comedies, this is Arkin’s best that I’ve seen. He plays a straight-laced guy thrown into chaos and his reactions are not mugging, but sheer, void-staring horror and that is hilarious.

2. Catch-22 - Probably Arkin’s technical “best” role or the one that seems most representative of his penchant for the strange, dark comedies where he seems to be most at home. Having read the book first and pictured Yossarian differently, I wondered if he would fit the part. Ultimately, he was perfect at capturing the essence of this classic character.

1. Wait Until Dark - I mean, was there ever any doubt this is my favorite? I can’t resist a bad guy and Roat is one of the best “for the evulz” bad guys ever.

Arkin could have easily just played this character as a boilerplate psycho, but he instead emphasizes the “actor” element of the character, not just in how seriously he takes the roleplaying in the con, but even when he’s being “himself.” He feels like a demon masquerading at being human and the effect is uncanny.

As much as I enjoyed Stacey Keach’s cocaine-fueled scenery-chewing in the 1982 TV adaptation of Wait, it made me appreciate Arkin’s chilling, low-key menace all the more. Like, I love how he never shouts at Susy when trying to intimidate her: he speaks softly, even amiably, which is a sign of his complete confidence-- much more terrifying than a screaming nut TRYING to scare you. In fact, he only shouts when he’s scared, which is just a brilliant choice.

Also, he manages to be quite hot despite having a terrible haircut. A++

GENE KELLY

5. Brigadoon - So, I’m putting this one here mainly because I don’t remember a lot of it, but I saw this movie at an impressionable age (probably eight or nine) and recall being spellbound by it. Kelly plays a man torn between two worlds-- pretty much literally-- and I recalled being very moved by his romance with Bonnie Jean.

4.  The Pirate - So, I’m not crazy about this movie, but Kelly is fun in it from what i recall. Also, he wears tons of ass-hugging, form-fitting 19th-century clothes that make the movie worth every minute.

3. Inherit the Wind - A pure dramatic role where Kelly plays a snarky journalist covering a thinly veiled version of the Monkey Scopes trial in the 1920s. While more of a supporting role, he makes a big impression and I love the way he calls the chimp “GRANDPA!”

2. The Three Musketeers - If Doug Fairbanks never made his version of The Three Musketeers, Kelly would be my favorite D’Artagnan. As it is, he’s second and just as perfect for the role as you would imagine.

1. Singin in the Rain - He’s most remembered for this movie for a reason. He got to be funny, glamorous, and romantic all in one. The “Singin’ in the Rain” number is now so iconic that I think Kelly’s acting gets overlooked a bit in it. He’s just so giddy there-- it’s so sweet and endearing that I can get why A Clockwork Orange recontextualizing that song upsets people lmao.

CLAUDE RAINS

5. The Adventures of Robin Hood - Basil Rathbone is more of the main bad guy in this movie, I guess, but Rains was my favorite of the villains. He’s so fey and deliciously wicked. And Rains really rocks that wig and tunic.

4. The Invisible Man - Only a voice for 99% of the runtime, but damn, he makes an impression.

3. Notorious - A sign of a great actor-- Rains made even a gross ass Nazi likable-- at least at first! 

2. The Phantom of the Opera - Rains really made just a great Phantom. He’s not the most lethal or openly menacing, but he is just so tragic and passionate. When he starts reacting very emotionally when he learns his music has been stolen-- oh man. I have not seen the movie in years but that scene plays in my mind with such vividness, especially Rains’ impassioned, enraged line reading.

Rains also benefits from a really nasty-looking makeup. My own skin tingles seeing it. (Take note, Gerard Butler and Julian Sands!)

1. Casablanca  - A typical choice? Okay yes. But I just love Captain Renault so much! His witticisms help make Casablanca the classic it is and I love his banter with Rick throughout the movie.

KATHARINE HEPBURN (I am shocked by realizing how little of her bonafide classics I have seen... and with the exception of The Philadelphia Story, I’ve actually only seen these others once and a while ago, so forgive the brevity)

5. Christopher Strong - I don’t really like this movie very much, but Hepburn is fabulous. She makes her strong-willed character so likable that when the “respectable” characters get their happy ending and she doesn’t, you’re just so angry.

4. The African Queen - I recall liking her performance when I saw the film years ago, but aside from her chemistry with Bogie, I can’t go into detail. Sorry.

3. The Lion in the Winter - Her sparring with O’Toole is so entertaining.

2. Suddenly, Last Summer - Among the Tennessee Williams adaptations, this one does not get much press and that’s a shame because Hepburn’s villainous southern aristocrat is chilling to the bone. You just absolutely hate her with relish.

1. The Philadelphia Story - Tracy Lord as a character-- abrasive, arrogant, sneering-- should annoy me. But she’s just so damned likable. Hepburn’s blend of fire and hidden vulnerability make this screwball heroine (or “goddess” if you will) so very appealing. The studio apparently wanted Norma Shearer in the role, but as much as I love her, I think Hepburn was the best choice and she gave a classic performance.

[vesuvianist]

Asrian 9, 55, 75? :3c

Thirsty Thursday:NOT ACCEPTING

ꕥ Classic choice, Nonnie

Pairing: Asra x JulianDialogue: 20 — “Don’t smile at me like that. You know it drives me crazy.”Location: 55 — LibrarySituation: 75 — Blowjob

▬▬▬▬▬๑✧ ∭ ✧๑▬▬▬▬▬

Kissing Asra was a dangerous game. There was a chance you could come out unscathed, satisfied and still be able to go through your day without wanting to kiss him again. But on the other hand, a single kiss, no matter how chaste, could never be enough. Especially now that Asra had learned how to make Julian into putty with mere seconds of contact. Asra’s toffee colored fingers traced a featherlight touch along Julian’s inner thigh, close enough to tease and too far away to give him what he wanted. He worked relentlessly on Julian’s neck from behind, and his other hand subtly began to thumb open the buttons of Julian’s shirt now that the doctor had finally leaned back in his chair to allow Asra to begin his ministrations.

The sigh that left Julian’s throat was laced with desire. He relaxed further back, letting his head loll to the side for Asra to have more room. But he had to say something before Asra had completely taken away his rational mind. “This is…n-not a good idea, Asra…”

“Hmmmmm~?” the magician purred as he lifted his head, keeping his eyes closed as his kisses now trailed up Julian’s jaw instead. Julian opened his eyes halfway, panting softly. 

“We’re…supposed to be w-working…We don’t have time for this.”

“I am working.” Asra stated matter-of-factly, grinning against Julian’s skin and squeezing his thigh for emphasis, eliciting a soft sound.

“L-Lucio wants a status report within the afternoon!” 

“He’s too stubborn to die any time soon,” Asra argues, twisting his head to kiss right under Julian’s ear. “We have plenty of time.”

Julian huffed softly feeling his resolve start to crumble as Asra’s hand popped open another button. He lifted a hand to cover Asra’s, turning to look at him, feeling his heart melt at the sight of Asra’s tantalizing gaze. “Don’t smile at me like that,” Julian pleaded. “You know it drives me crazy.”

Of course Asra knew it. Hence why his smile only got wider. He tilted his head coyly, voice intimate and seductive. “That is the goal, Ilya.”

The doctor finally yielded when Asra’s fingers ghosted over his crotch, sending shivers through him. He gave a whimpering moan and reached back to pull Asra in for a proper kiss. Asra wasted no time, his tongue sliding between Julian’s lips and teasing him with the precision of a god, pulling open what remained of Julian’s shirt. 

With Julian’s chest now exposed, Asra sought to change their position to make things more easily accessible. He stood upright, touch lingering along Julian’s neck as he walked around the chair and then yanked him up out of it. Julian shouted in surprise, looking down at Asra with anticipation—perhaps a little bit of fear, too. Asra needed only to slowly pivot, his eyes holding enough of a trance on Julian to make him turn as well, and in a fluid motion, he kicked the chair back and pushed Julian onto his own desk, spilling a few books and papers off of it in the process. Asra struck forward like a snake, capturing Julian’s lips in a deep kiss. He whined softly, arms draping around Asra’s waist and holding onto him tightly. Each kiss was intoxicating.

When Julian pulled back to catch his breath, Asra was already biting into the tender flesh of his neck, causing him to inhale sharply, a hand gripping Asra tighter as he felt a rush of heat roll through him. The bite wasn’t hard enough to leave a mark, just enough to tease Julian into begging for more in less visible places. As if on cue, Asra began to kiss downward, his hands roaming over Julian’s chest to massage his skin and slide his thumbs over Julian’s stiffened nipples.

The further down Asra went, the faster Julian’s breath came, and the more color started to flood his face. “I still haven’t repaid you for helping me the other night,” Asra noted with a seductive smile. 

“Y-you didn’t have to.” Julian answered, causing the magician to pause, looking up at him with a cocked eyebrow. Julian stuttered. “That—that is to say, I didn’t—er, it was really nothing buh—but I’m not opposing this, what uh, what we’re doing, it’s fine, you’re fine, I don’t um…I don’t think it’s a bad idea. Ah, I did, before, but I’m not—I don’t think it’s a bad idea anymore. It’s a good idea actually, since well, we haven’t really had an opportunity to, er…”

Asra shook his head, and for a moment it wasn’t clear if he was amused or annoyed, but in any case he silenced Julian’s rambling with a not-so-subtle nuzzle against the growing erection in Julian’s trousers. The instant contact was made, it gave Julian a full body shiver, and he bit down on his lower lip to censor a groan. Asra between his legs was more than an arousing sight. His breath was hot and made Julian’s cock twitch.

“Are you going to keep quiet? We are in a library after all.” he rested his cheek on Julian’s inner thigh, looking up at him with a cunning smile. His hands brushed up and down Julian’s leg, a ghosting touch that made Julian tense. He let out a huff of air and swallowed. 

“I…might need a bit of help with that…”

Asra bit his lip and chuckled warmly, slowly standing upright and caging Julian in between his arms as he leaned in, their bodies flush against each other. His voice was lowered to a near whisper. “Bold of you, Ilya. I like it.”

“Tha-thank you?” he panted softly, blinking a few times. He looked rather embarrassed, but it only fueled Asra. Julian was incredibly easy to fluster, and teasing him had become almost like a game that Asra could never lose. 

“I could just gag you,” Asra suggested in a low purr, bringing a hand up to caress Julian’s chest. “Or…take away your voice,” his hand traveled further upward, running along his neck. His eyes seemed to be a bit darker, though maybe it was a trick of the light. His thumb slid over Julian’s throat, forming a small chokehold, though he didn’t press down. “Or your air.” 

He didn’t need to. Julian’s breath got heavier, his eyes slid closed and his expression twisted in pleasure as the idea sent waves of desire through him. His erection had grown painfully hard, and Asra definitely could feel it against his abdomen. He chuckled, slowly letting his hand fall to tease Julian’s nipple instead. He tilted his head when Julian opened his eyes. 

“Though it’d be hard to have that kind of control from far away. Maybe another day…” he gave Julian a look that promised he would definitely fulfill that fantasy when they had more time. Asra had fully bewitched him, and Julian’s arms pulled Asra closer in their embrace. “A simple gag seems so primitive…maybe we should try some hocus pocus.” he lifted his brows at the name, causing julian to breathe out a slightly startled laugh.

“What–what kind of hocus pocus?”

“The kind that will make it much easier to get away with this without getting caught.” he suggests, humming softly to question his interest.

Julian looked nervous, but there was a hint of curiosity in his eyes. “Okay…”

Asra lifted the hand from Julian’s chest and pressed two fingers to Julian’s Adam’s apple. Before the doctor could question it, a cooling sensation crept along his throat…but it was so strange. The cold had seeped into him, not just around him. The feeling of Asra’s magic was strange, like nothing he’d felt before. It tingled, sending goosebumps along his skin. When Asra’s hand fell, the cool sensation lingered before it faded.

When Julian tried to ask what Asra had done, his lips moved and there wasn’t a single sound that came out.

Julian gasped, staring at Asra, who returned the stare with a chuckle. He kissed the doctor briefly, and then sank to his knees once more. “Don’t tug on my hair unless you want me to stop. Understand?” he waited for Julian to nod in affirmation. Julian was still trying to get over the fact that Asra had completely taken away his voice. The only sound he could make was his ragged breathing. 

Asra watched Julian with purpose, his hands tugging the loose belt of Julian’s trousers off and opening the top button, releasing his throbbing arousal. The second Asra touched it, Julian shuddered and threw his head back. His whine of pleasure was just a huff of air.

Asra stroked Julian a few times, the darkly flushed skin was hot in his hand, and each movement made Julian curl his toes in his boots. His heart thundered in his chest, unsure of what to anticipate from Asra. His amethyst eyes were unreadable.

The magician took his time, massaging the sensitive flesh, and examining it like an appraisal. His eyes flickered up to look at Julian’s expression, and there was an unspoken understanding of what Asra intended. Julian lifted his hips so fast it was almost comical. Asra chuckled and he released Julian’s cock briefly to tug down his trousers. Once the fabric was pulled down over Julian’s knees, their eyes met for only a moment before Asra leaned in and kissed the inside of Julian’s thigh. At first it was soft, but he quickly changed to gentle nips, and those gentle nips quickly became harder and more purposeful. He threw his head back and took long, deep breaths to calm himself. The sharp sting of Asra’s teeth was combined with a tingling pleasure that traveled up his thigh and straight into his cock. He moved to the other thigh shortly after the first mark was red and sure to change to a bruise, giving the same treatment. He peppered the flesh with kisses and bites, creeping closer and closer, but far enough away that his cock stayed untouched. Soon, his thighs were covered in marks, he’d be able to feel them with each step the next day, and the thought of it made Julian want to cry with pleasure, shivering. He carefully sat up straighter when Asra seemed to slow down, trying to see what was stopping him. 

Apparently Asra just wanted Julian to watch. He smirked when Julian met his gaze, and held it while leaning forward again to swipe his tongue around the head of Julian’s cock. 

It was incredibly satisfying, each swirl sending a pulse of pleasure through him and he leaned back on his desk, breathing harder. If the magic hadn’t silenced him, he’d already be keening. Asra’s tongue was hot and the texture of it on his cock made Julian want to cry out in desperation for more. His technique showed a surprising amount of experience, but Julian couldn’t think to question it. He was too busy relishing in the feeling of Asra’s tongue coaxing him.

Once the tip of his cock was satisfyingly wet, Asra opened his jaw and sank down, his nails digging into Julian’s thigh. The cavern of Asra’s mouth was incredibly warm; Julian gasped when Asra’s hand massaged the base of his cock. He sighed heavily, getting lost in the pleasure as the familiar heat flared in his abdomen and his head started to spin from holding his breath. He reached down and held the back of Asra’s head, not tugging his hair, as instructed, but still desperately pulling him closer. Asra squeezed Julian’s cock, and bobbed faster. 

The wet sound of Asra gently sucking Julian’s cock combined with the desperation of Julian’s breath and soft humming sounds coming from Asra only made the experience more pleasurable. As Julian climbed closer to his orgasm, Asra stopped going so deep, and instead his tongue swiped back and forth along the sensitive spot just below the head. The sensation made Julian pant heavily, and his thighs shook lightly with how tense he became. He wanted to sob from how good it felt, but Asra’s magic only intensified around his vocal chords, making the sound a breathless rasp. He looked down at Asra, who shortly after met his gaze, and pressed his tongue harder into the pleasurable spot, simultaneously sucking harder. Julian’s expression contorted with pleasure and his jaw dropped. Within seconds, his rapture had reached its peak. 

Ropes of cum exploded from Julian’s cock and Asra opened his mouth wider to let each one land on his tongue without hitting the back of his throat and choking him. If he didn’t like the taste, he showed no indication of it. Instead, his darkened eyes stayed locked on Julian’s face as he rode out his orgasm, shuddering from sensitivity. The last of the bittersweet fluid left him exhausted, but Asra sank back in, lazily swallowing around Julian’s cock to keep the pleasurable sensation there, not letting go until his erection had totally softened and he nearly had tears in his eyes from the light overstimulation. He panted fervently, dizzied from his actions.

Asra slowly pulled away with a wet pop, and he too was panting with effort. He used Julian’s knees to support him as he stood up and pulled Julian’s head forward to rest it on his chest, embracing him to enjoy the brief closeness. At this proximity, Julian could smell the exotic scent of incense and spices that was unique to Asra, and it comforted him as his heart quieted down. Asra’s fingers came up to the side of Julian’s throat and his magic returned once more. The cold feeling was replaced with something warm, and his voice had been returned to him. He gratefully moaned into Asra’s chest, nuzzling his collarbone.

He wanted it to last longer, but Asra was already pulling away from the contact once he’d caught his breath, wiping his lips. He pushed Julian back, and the doctor had to catch himself or he would’ve probably fallen backward onto the desk. He stared at Asra in a daze, making Asra laugh as he ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you speechless before.”

Julian blinked once, then shook his head to clear it. “I…we’re done?”

Asra looked incredulous. “I repaid you, didn’t I?”

Julian slid off of his desk and walked Asra back into the chair he’d kicked backward, bracing his hands on the back of it while coming mere inches from kissing Asra again. His voice was significantly heavier than it had been before they started. “Would you grant me the chance to thank you?”

He half expected Asra to say no. The magician had even looked shocked by the sudden turn that had been taken, looking up at Julian with an owlish expression. But after blinking a few times, his smile had returned and his hand tangled into Julian’s curls and tugged back to expose his throat. He ghosted his lips along the flesh, Julian swallowing in anticipation. “Do you think you deserve the chance to?”

Julian’s eyes were half-lidded, and he leaned his head in to kiss Asra’s neck instead. “Please…”

[ihaveashopinvesuvia]

My thoughts on Julian's route (also spoilers for Asra's) - upright ending

So I really didn't think I would love it (and him) as much as I did. I'm very loyal to Asra and while I was reading the early chapters there was no way I would have chosen anyone else but him: he's magnificent, he's intriguing, it's established the apprentice and him already have a relationship and he's the first character we meet, so I imprinted on him from the start and kept loving him more and more. Meanwhile everybody was going crazy about Julian and his route and how good it was, but honestly here were my impressions of him:

- plague mask

- dreamworks eyebrow

- snarky snark

- heart hunter

- relationship to Portia spoiled because of HH (for real guys are you serious)

But anyway, he's a red head and I was still interested in him, and I would do his route over Nadia because Taste (though I'm still interested in her pov) and the others were not available yet or had only a couple of chapters out. So I went for Julian and in the name of all that's holy, I'm sure it's the best route. Haven't read the others, but I'm already convinced it's the best one. Not necessarily the character you love the most, but the route was just better constructed, interesting and satisfying compared to Asra's. And it hurts to say it, but it's true.

I finished Asra's route unsatisfied about the lack of answers (especially about the courtiers) and the just-nice prologue. I think his route is great for all the magic and tarot stuff. It's the best for knowing what happened to the apprentice and what went down at the last masquerade. And you have a very deep spiritual connection and love with Asra, as well as great sensuality.

BUT

Julian's route gives you a full understanding of the plague and what happened with Lucio. It deals with Julian's guilt/innocence, which is what starts the whole story. We know what's going on with the courtiers (though I'm sure Nadia's route has more on that). It has a long awesome 3rd act with a lot at stakes and a very satisfying climax that makes you feel like you're in Avatar the Last Airbender or something. The epilogue is also top-notch: instead of a simple happily ever-after, there's a sense of how happy the routine life is AND how you get to both live the life of adventures you dreamed of. The boat departure felt like a movie and gave me something else than the romance to be happy about. It's also very satisfying for Julian, considering his previous issues.

All of Julian's scenes are interesting, plot and/or character centered. And JULIAN is just amazing. He's charismatic, reckless, agile, interested in so many things, funny, deep, devoted and loving. He's so much more complex than I thought he would be based on the prologue and HH that make him seem pretty shallow. He's also very sexual. Omg. So sexual. The scenes happened very early and very intensely and it was WILD. They really went for it with him clearly being masochistic and submissive, while still getting consent from the MC. Just wow. He also takes his time figuring stuff out, especially with his issues, but also with saying "I love you" (does he say it the latest out of the main 3?).

The whole thing was extremely well-rounded, satisfying, scary, fast-paced while still taking the right amount of time for romance and plot things, exciting... and I mean very exciting oh my, it delivered answers on the story, the characters, brought them together (it has freaking CLOSURE for Asra x Julian, and a lot of Portia) and has a full character arc for Julian that's just beautiful.

I was worried at first because he's very much a pity party kinda guy, and fits the cliché "I'm so hurt and damaged and bad for you" which is soooooo annoying. I mean he freaking breaks up with you after only a day and you could easily think he's there for you to fix, which is messed up. But the game totally calls him out on it! You can, and should, call him out on his bullshit and his self-pitying and his unhealthy need to save everybody to the point of self-effacement and blindness to other people's will. In the end, you help him get better, but it's his decisions and actions and way of thinking that he changes himself, without you being his big saver. You get to be on his side without encouraging the bad tendencies, the way real relationships work.

Also the apprentice is put in a sexually dominant position, which is rare for that kind of game and honestly, bless.

Only negatives: sometimes the writing is a bit lacking, like stuff will suddenly happen very fast (like one apple falls from a stall and then all hell breaks loose and you don't know how or why) or we won't linger on something huge like Julian being hanged for fuck's sake. Those things happen more in the beginning if the story, so I hope they make things a bit smoother later on (though it was also the hottest part of the story, dear lord). They also need to fix all the typos. And some stuff felt a bit too inspired by other stories. Though in the end, that's not what I stayed focused on. Also, I think the apprentice trips 3 or 4 times. Are you serious? We don't need another cute/clumsy MC who falls constantly and needs to be caught by the love interest. Once, I get, but this was just too much. I'm very sure footed, thank you very much. Yet, I'm a terrible dancer and the apprentice can apparently tango on a table full of dishes without disturbing anything...? (I won't complain about that last scene though, it was magical)

TL;DR: I love him. Did I say I love him? So much.

[izzycle]

20 OC questions from here that is basically prompts for me to ramble on

Maybe one day I’ll make things more concise, but right now here is a super long list of things that answer these questions, but also go on big rambles in an attempt to build Dion’s character and backstory more 🙃 ones crossed out I answered in asks

1. On a scale of “is occasionally forced to bathe” to “Instagram model with sponsors to hoe for” how involved is your OC’s Skincare routine?

2. What are your OC’s food preferences (flavors/textures/spiciness/calories/ when and how they eat) and how did they get that way?

Dion has always loved “homely” meals, things which are very filling, warm, and comfort food. He’s very simple when it comes to food, will eat anything offered but much prefers homemade meals. His favourite is a mildly spicy butternut squash soup, something he used to share with his mum by the fireplace when it was a cold day. Of course he doesn’t remember this anymore, but that comforting feeling still lingers whenever he has this soup now, so although he doesn’t understand why, this meal has become his comfort food once again, that he’ll have curled up on the windowsill, watching the rain, most likely with Faust curled around his shoulders.

Soups, stews, etc are his go to meals, especially on busy days to make sure he and Asra are well fed and have a lot of energy. Enjoys mild to medium spice, but isn’t a fan of things such as curries, it is more of a “chilli in his soup” sort of preference. Big fan of green veg, and salads, and wishes he had a veg garden at the shop, but one that didn’t require much upkeep.

Because he lives at the shop, rarely leaving, everything is homemade, based usually around what veg he has. Frequently makes too much even though he is used to being on his own. Pretends that this is for ease and stores the spares for the next few days but really he just doesn’t realise he’s pining for Asra to come back, to their home and the home cooking. But feels as if his “boring” stay at home lifestyle wouldn’t compare to all the sights and foods Asra may experience, and therefore why would he want some boring soup Dion made?

3. What’s something pointless/petty/unimportant that IRRATIONALLY ANNOYS THE HELL out of your OC?

Not much annoys Dion, he is mainly in 3 moods, neutral/relaxed, anxious, or the super rare - happy. I think the thing that would annoy him the most is if people handle his belongings without permission or care.

He would never say anything but casually brush against his yarn? Roughly move knitted products around? Not listen to wash instructions and come in to complain about his work? Move crystals from their places on the windowsill? He will be silently seething. He takes pride in his crafts, and studies what he puts into them from stitches, to colours, to yarn, so if you show no care for this? He will get upset. People don’t understand how much work and care goes into “just a hat” so aren’t careful, and it silently ticks him off. And his crystals? They’re there to help with the aura of the rooms, each in specific places, each cleansed and not even for sale, purely to improve the protections, magic, strength etc of the shop and magicians inside.

4. What’s your OC’s response to being asked for money by a homeless person?

Easy answer: he’d give whatever he could. Although the actual interaction would set off his anxiety, that’s just because he’d be zoning out and gets like that with anyone who talks to him. But he would get over this anxiety, by ignoring it as best as he can, getting his money out, counting what is needed and giving the rest away. He just wants a modest life, so spare money is spare, and he doesn’t say it, but helping others, even in small ways, makes him happy. A small boost in confidence that he could actually have an effect on someone’s life.

He will also give out spare knitted items to those he knew needed them, say there’s someone who’s been on the streets and the weather is particularly harsh, they would find a wrapped blanket (in the place that they usual sleep), with protection, luck, and warmth spells woven in. Sometimes Dion zones out and would give everything and anything to these people and has to be pulled away before his mental state is affected. Needs to learn that his own needs are important too, instead of spending all his time and money on others, he needs to actually eat and rest.

5. Does your OC get lost easily? What do they do when they do get lost?

6. What would STOP your OC from Doing The Right Thing in a tense situation?

The only thing I can see doing this is if he becomes too anxious. He shuts down when overwhelmed, so if this is a tense situation, especially without someone like Asra to ground him, he will panic and won’t be able to think of what he should do, let alone act on it. It wouldn’t be a case of going against morals and doing something bad, it would be more, he’s shut down and won’t act at all.

One example would be when Julian broke into the shop, and Dion just panicked. Stood there frozen, not responding to any questions, just staring at Julian. The most he could do was try and focus on his breathing. It’s just when things suddenly happen he’s startled and doesn’t know how to act. As time goes on, he gains some of his confidence back, as well as ability to actually think in tense situations, but will look back on this meeting and will only be ashamed. Embarrassed that his reaction to someone threatening, breaking into the shop/ his home, looking for his master, was to stand there like a startled rabbit, trying desperately not to pass out. Which he almost does when Julian stepped towards him. This definitely broke Julian’s dramatic act, but still, knowing now that Julian is not such a big threat,

Dion is very anxious and quiet around Julian. Just very tense, not being able to follow along with the dramatics, not wanting to be a part of this intimidating situation. It takes a while for Julian to realise that it wasn’t that he was unliked, it was just a large difference in personalities, and much to Dion’s relief started to tone his dramatics down, and started to talk softer and less erratic to try and reduce the sudden tenseness or anxiety that he may cause.

7. Realistically, could your OC (in their normal circumstances- i.e. at thier own house/battlecamp/spaceship etc.) keep a small child alive for a week if they had to?  A Dog?  A Houseplant? A rock with a  smiley face painted on?

Oh super easily, although he lives simply, and quietly, he’s perfectly able to look after himself and others.

He doesn’t grow his own garden purely because he would much rather sit and enjoy the energy of nature, rather than actually aid them in growing, but that doesn’t mean he can’t. Just about his preferences. So if he was trusted to look after plants he would easily look after them for that time, and does have a few dotted about the living room to brighten it up anyway. Especially things such as sunflowers to try and brighten up his day, and the windowsills are just filled with lavender plants. Animals and babies, although harder, he would be able to look after them fine as well. He is still very laid back, not to the point of Asra, but as in he wouldn’t be one of those parents who run around babying their children. But, he would easily get anxious over whether he is doing okay. (He is, he just gets worried about everything)

8. If your OC had to take the S.A.T. tomorrow with one night to prep, how would they do?  both emotionally and academically.

Emotionally, a wreck. But are you surprised? It seems like everything makes him a wreck.

Seriously, why is he even in this game? Poor baby is not ready, and yet I’ve shoved him into this world anyway.

Academically he’d do averagely, he’s not a genius, but can quite easily pick things up, and has always been well read. Back home he was raised on high quality educational programs, and he would very often get lost into fantasy fiction (or would it be fantasy in this world?). He has a very creative mind, so those are the things he has always picked up the easiest. But he will definitely worry more than needed, which may make him flounder.

Before being reborn he of course had a lot more confidence and would be able to get through the tests much cooler, he wouldn’t push himself too hard and would instead aim for an easy medium.

9. What would cause your OC to chose to do something petty/pointlessly cruel?

I honestly can’t see anything causing him to act this way? He has a strong moral system, so it would require an entire change of character for him to be pointlessly cruel or petty. He may on very rare occasions (pregame) make snide remarks under his breath, such as after talking to someone incredibly hypocritical but most of the time he wouldn’t dare. He is too timid of a person to act that way, and struggles to act strongly when it is needed, let alone when it would be in a cruel/ pointless way.

10. On a scale of “Complete and Justified nervous breakdown” to “Conquer The Entire Galaxy and become an Immortal God-Emperor”, how well would your OC handle being abducted by Aliens?

11. What song is 100% garunteed to get your OC beyond turnt and will be sung loudly and emabarrasingly, either in public or the shower?

“Love Like You” by Rebecca Sugar/ from Steven Universe for sure. Something his voice can easily and comfortably sing along to, and the lyrics speak to him, as he doesn’t see himself in a very positive light. Feels unremarkable and wonders how Asra could love him as he is.

He also won’t admit it, but can catch himself almost singing along to some Halsey songs, (“Walls Could Talkl, “Bad at Love”, “Coming Down”) embarrassed that some of the lyrics are more... raunchy riske than what you’d expect him to like. But if you catch him when down, mad, melancholic, etc, he’s likely to have these going around in his head.

He definitely wallows and although this alternative music can have similar lyrics, the style can help pick him up a little. Again. He wouldn’t ever be caught in the rare situations he’d be listening to this type of music. I mean what are you talking about, he’s a pure baby, only good, innocent pop music for him

12. What perfectly-normal-to-them-thing does your OC do that confuses/pisses off/terrifies their neighbors?

Hm I think what confuses everyone is his aversion to shoes. He feels more connected, and grounded when his feet or on the ground, especially when he’s in nature.

Neighbours? I’d say the fact he is so quiet, he barely ever leaves home or moves about, so they honestly forget that there is anyone who is home when Asra is on one of his trips. So if they look out and suddenly see him by the window that terrifies them because they forget he exists.

13. Under what circumstances would your OC appear naked in public?

Literally the only way he would be is if someone robbed him of his clothes while in public

14. What thing did your OC’s parents do that your OC wishes they had a better explanation for?

He wouldn’t understand how they could love him so much that they allowed him to be who he was openly, despite the backlash from the village. Or the events that transpired, he didn’t understand how they could be so supportive and want him to be happy. But at the same time didn’t understand how they could then stay in such a community that was so unwelcoming and would have happily cut them off, despite their high social standing, purely for having a child who is trans

15. How often does your OC “zone out” or do things on autopilot and how severe have the problems that have arisen from that been?

Very often, it’s the only way he would get most shop things done without Asra there now. Most of his life is just on autopilot when he’s alone, wake up, eat, set up shop, open, close, eat, clean, sleep. It’s very monotonous and although he finds it preferable to being out of his comfort zone, if Asra was there full time he would actually slowly come out of his shell and enjoy life more instead of the fleeting moments he gets when Asra is home.

If he doesn’t have to open shop, he will sit on the couch and zone out, forgetting to feed himself at all. There’s been a few times Asra has come home to find that Dion hasn’t eaten all day (luckily he’s never arrived too late that this has gone on for longer than 12 hours) because he has been so focused on finishing his project.

The only time that he zones out and it seems to be helpful is if he goes to the forest, he will sit under a tree, or small space, and spend hours centring and calming himself

16. How strong or weak is your OC’s Impulse control? What’s the worst thing that happened becuase of thier Impulsivity or inability to be so?

He has impulse reactions sometimes due to his anxiety, but the most this is, is to disappear or run away from problems. He doesn’t do anything to harm himself or others. It is more of a panic “get out now” reaction, which sometimes he can’t even follow because he will freeze on the spot.

There are very rare occasions he’ll suddenly want to do something, and he will act against his anxiety to get it done. Such as, complimenting, hugging, or even just interacting with Asra, smiling at someone, asking for help, etc. He will get the urge to do these things and will have to act on these impulses before the anxiety sets in too much to stop him. Even rarer, if he tries to kiss Asra, or tease him? It has happened, but don’t hold your breath waiting for it

17. How does your OC sabotage themselves? 

Shutting himself off from the world. He doesn’t realise just how much it continues to damage him, because he is trying to avoid his anxiety and panic, but he’s just setting it further into his personality. And creating a dependence on Asra to help with the loneliness he feels while Asra is away, or to fill his days with something other than his monotonous tasks.

18. What’s the trashiest item in your OC’s wardrobe, when was the last time they wore it and why do they still have it?

I can’t see him actively getting himself anything trashy. Pregame he was a lot more confident with his body, not even needing his tattoos to feel good about his chest, and wore more low cut, open shirts. Similarly to Asra or Julian. That was as far as he would go.

The “worst” of his outfits would most likely come from Nadia, who (like everyone else) doesn’t know he has these scars so would try and counteract his usual baggy outfits in an extreme way. He needs a moment to collect himself but he does go out in outfits like that easier as time goes on, but he would much rather hide in his baggy clothes. He finds comfort in the layers. Although he did enjoy the reaction he received when Asra first saw his Palace outfit. So he won’t have worn these outfits since the last time he needed to be “fancy” aka visit Nadia at the palace

19. How Dehydrated is your OC right now? Are they going to fix this?

Not very, he pretty much always has a collection of herbal teas ready for action, he wouldn’t be able to keep his nerves in check throughout the work day without the calming effects of them

20. What’s your OC smell like?  no, not that “Vanilla and Anxiety” evocative stuff, realistically.  Body odor? what have they been touching all day? When was thier last shower? Did they put on any kind of artificial scent?

So the tea he drinks will have a massive effect on the way he smells, and he will smell softly of Jasmine the majority of the time. (Ask Asra: he probably tastes like it too). He has quite a subtle, earthy smell to him. He’s always clean and uses mild soaps so doesn’t tend to have too strong of a smell. But if you are close to him for periods of time you may be able to pick out the jasmine, and lavender smells from him, sometimes mixed with the sweet smell of wet grass, even if he hasn’t been outside in some time.

[herstarburststories]

You've lost your pain, congrats! ✘ Savitar/Evil!Barry Imagine ✘

✘ A/N: I REALLY took my time while I was writing this one, I’m sorry! Well, I gotta say it is kind of a little more special, I ended up getting friends with the one who requested it! Hope you like it, dear.

Beta: @lyss-91

✘ @enafaolan​ requested: Hello ! I've just found your tumblr yesterday but since you ask, can I request an imagine where the reader is part of team flash and secretly takes pity on Savitar when she learns the truth about him. So when Barry "accidentally" loses his memories (episode 21), she decides to go check on Savitar and finds him lost but as carefree as Barry. She stays with him while the others are trying to figure out a way to restore Barry's memories (because honestly, Savitar amnesic and alone why didn't we get to see that ?) She still there when he get his speed back. And when he finally recover his memories, he doesn't let her know at once because he enjoyed her company. x) I don't know if this is good and clear enough (english isn't my first language) but you'd be amazing if you could do this !

Our memories are stored in our brains, such as feelings, thoughts, other actions and emotions. That's the simplest way of saying that the brain keeps everything in order. Some even come to believe there is inside this little gray box where our soul is.

On the other hand, some people believe that our souls keeps our feelings, like a mother receiving a gift on Mother's day; she never lets go, no matter how ugly or bad it is. Our brain only gets the sporadic, exact, chemical, technical part. This part can easily be deleted in unexpected situations. Like a trauma.

This was the case of Barry Allen and his time remnant, Savitar. No surname, like God or Beyonce.

While The Flash, her friend and ex boyfriend, was being welcomed by everyone in that room, she couldn't help her mind to stay sane, letting herself get lost in an insanity lapse and finding her thoughts leading her to wonder if Savitar was alright.

Because Killer Frost surely wasn't the warmest company around, and if Barry was so confused and scared, even when he was surronded by people who cared about him, how would Savitar be?

Sighing, her (Y/E/C) eyes followed her teams steps out of the place. She listened carefully while their boss, Iris, ordened softly, but seriously: the plan was taking Barry to CCPD with Joe while Julian, Cisco and you tried to find way to fix what they had broken.

The girl with (Y/H/C) hair did not risk it asking the boss if they thought that Savitar was good, it'd be just a waste of time, and honestly, Julian probably would try to intern her fom such a stupid question.

(Y/N) herself was doubting her sanity.

You tried really hard to pay attention to whatever Julian and Cisco were arguing about, or even give them any creative idea that could help. Holy crap, even search on Google for idea on how to get a memory back. But it was as impossible as a man who runs as fast as the light's speed. Rolling her eyes at her own silly inside joke, she snorted in pure frustation. The reason why she couldn't focus her mind was pretty clear and was deeply annoying her, why the fuck was she caring so much about a killer?

Okay, time for a break. She was not being of any help here, not with that mentality.

''Guys, I'll buy some coffee.'' She announced casually, getting some murmurs and a happy shout from HR in response.

(Y/N) almost felt bad for not sharing her mind with the boys. Almost. Her heart was kind of too busy by feeling sad for Savitar. Anyway, she grabbed her faux fur coat and left.

But for being a Team Flash member, of course something bad had to happen before she was even able to put her foot outside the building.

''Hello, (Y/N).'' Killer Frost smiled malicioiusly, and the remember of a friend made you smile sadly instead of running away. She has had a lot of chances to kill you and haven't done it, Caitlin would never make you use her new name, or so you hoped.

She wasn’t like Savitar.

''What do you want, Caitlin?'' Your voice was low, tired. The sadistic games which your mind was preaching on you were enough for today, she didn't need Caitlin's personality disorder playing around.

''That's not my name.'' The white-haired girl growled, taking a step foward. Subtly, the weather around you both got considerably colder. You swallowed for the abrupt change of behavior, not for fear.

''Why are you here?'' (Y/N) asked directly, her eyebrows furrowed in curiosity.

''Savitar.'' Frost explained with some unnecessarily mean remarks, about the situation of which the self-tiltled god of speed was found. ''But I'd suppose that you know it already.''

''Take me to him.'' Before she could deny you, you kept going. ''You know you need to help Cisco to find a way to reverse it, he can't do it by himself. And both Savitar and Barry are guys that are extremely powerful and defenseless right now. Barry has his fianceé, yet Savitar is alone in some dark place. If anything, I will be the one taking the risk once he is awake, so what's the matter for you?''

The next thing you knew was darkness.

Xxx

So here you were: waking up on a watery floor. Not cool, Frost.

Savitar was also here, wearing his suit in a catatonic state. Only hanging on there, apparently staring at you.

''Savitar.''

''Who are you?'' The monstrous voice from Iris West and Barry Allen's lastest nightmares asked in a not friendly tone. Slowly getting you, you decided to try Iris' trick.

''I'm (Y/N). You know me.'' You said cautiously, taking out your phone that was resting in your pocket.

''I don-''

''I know you don't remember. But it's true. I-'' Quickly, still without using any inhuman velocity, Savitar grabbed your shoulders and threw you against a wall. Your heart raced in terror, but you weren't going to give up now; It was just you and him.

''How do I know you are not lying?'' His voice almost robotic sounded again when your trembling hand finally reached your phone.

''I-I've got pictures.'' You unlocked your cellphone as fast as you could with a swip up, showing him some old pictures in the gallery from when you and Barry used to date. No kissing photos or anything that could bring questions, though. ''See? I won't hurt you, I promise.''

The tight grip of him softened, and you could let your breath which you haven't even noticed that you were holding; your back leaving the wall as Savitar recoiled.

''Get out of your armor, please.''

And he did.

He finally did.

As Savitar get ride of the horrid methal, (Y/N) wondered if his first instinct was violence when Barry's one was confusion. Perhaps it's justification was the same of the reason which Barry asked about Iris' ring and trusted her so easily. His subconscious knew it.

''I don't remember anything.'' For the first time since Savitar showed up, his voice seemed as fragile as his body outside the armor. ''Not even my own name.''

''I know. You are experiencing a temporary memory loss.'' You were as as succinct as possible, and he seemed to be trying to get his mind around what seemed to be an explanation of Albert Einstein's advanced theoretical physics to a layman.

''Who am I?''

''You’re Savitar.'' You walked in his direction calmly, not knowing what reaction to expect.

Fortunately, he did not try to pull away when you got beside him.

''It doesn't seem like  my name...'' Savitar rummaged his pockets, probably looking for his wallet - just as Barry did. ''Hmm. Weird.''

God, he looked so fragile, so pure. You felt sick thinking that it had been taken away from him;

''Are you hungry? We can go out, eat something.'' He finally looked around, frowning in confusion at the sight of the place. But he still shook his head in denial. ''Or we can just stay here. It works for me.''

A few seconds of silence passed, Savitar seemed to be carefully analyzing all the details of everything around him, the place, the visible part of his body to his eyes, you.

Sighing, (Y/N) decided to try her luck, hesitantly touching his hand. He, of course, tried to retreat scared, and his armor raised its guard, but you held your hand steady, taking his.

''I'm here.'' Savitar looked into her eyes. ''I am here.''

And that seemed enough.

''I'm scared.'' He admitted, making her heart tear up little bit.

''You don't need to be scared.'' You smiled gently. ''I'm here.'' The pain was gone, you knew that. But Savitar's scars remained there.

Nodding, he stroked your hand, unconsciously sending a timely thought.

Xxx

''Big Belly Burguer.'' Savitar read the establishment's sign in that afternoon, a carefree smile playing on his lips. ''I like it here?''

''You absolutely love this place,'' You giggled, slipping into the place and sitting down at the usual table. '' Mostly the fries. There was a time when you'd woke up at three in the morning just because you dreamed of fries and we would ended up here!''

They laughed and their conversation continued in that casual rhythm, anyone looking outside would bet a penny that the couple would eventually marry. Around you, it was a completely harmonious and comfortable mood, and that moment was so magnetic for both of them that they forgot to order the food - which is something big, especially considering the body of a speedster as fast as the god of speed .

The hours passed by like seconds when night fell in all its glory, as Iris declared her love for Barry through a childlike memory, the memories of the villain and the hero merged into a single yin-yang .

Savitar closed his eyes, attacked without any warning by the weight of his sins while who was taking care of him all along made her request to the waiter was kind heavy.

His mind was more fucked up than usual and he had the luxury of stopping time for a few moments, (Y/N), the only girl his nemesis and himself had loved besides Iris West, had stayed by his side. Despite all the threats, fear, mistakes. Which he committed to his team, to her.

He couldn't lie to himself, (Y/NN) was always one in a million, the Cleopatra to his Julius Cesar in a future where he was without Iris West. But wherever he came to, she had not existed as a romantic interest to Barry Allen - ironically, the girl was married to Eddie Thawne in many earths.

Savitar had enjoyed her company more than that. For the first time in millennia as a god, he had finally felt in the presence of a goddess after his own left him for a heroic copy.

''And five big fries, thank you.'' (Y/N) finalized their request as Savitar let time go by as it was supposed to.

'' Do not forget the mayonnaise.'' Savitar warned the waiter, not actually aware to the meaning of those words. His ex lover raised her eyebrows at his elbow when the teenager who was attending them left.

''Did you remember anything?''

''Hm.'' Savitar quickly composed himself. The remnant of time had enjoyed being with someone like that. No violence, just... Being. Well, not with someone really, he wouldn't like to be like this with anyone else but her. '' Mayonnaise just seems... Good. Like you here.''

This had been the cutest thing in the world, the cliché that Barry Allen would be ready to say at any moment, not really a Savitar thing.

But her smile made left him feeling like an idiot for saying something like that was worth it.

[demfutebolimagines]

Marco Reus Imagine: Hard-Ass 

Y/N’s POV:

           “You know there are other things I could be doing than coming and watch you train” I complain as I entered the stadium. “Oh yeah? And how are you gonna do anything without a car?” my older brother Mats teases. “Uber?” I say. “Um no. You know how much I don’t trust you being by yourself and besides I barely see you so it’s a good time to hang out” He says making me sigh exaggeratively. Yes I was the little sister to the one and only Mats Julian Hummels. It’s not easy when your brother is in the spotlight because of the fact he’s basically never around especially since he lives all the way in Munich leaving me alone with Jonas and the rest of our family in Bergisch Gladbach. The only reason I’m seeing him today is because Germany is having a friendly game against Russia tomorrow and today they are training. And lucky me was dragged along since my car broke down. “Ok I’m gonna go to the locker room real quick so you can just wait on the pitch” he tells me. “The what?” I say not understanding his lingo. “Over there” He says rolling his eyes and pointing me in the direction of the field. “Why thank you good sir” I say sarcastically walking towards the field. “Well Harry I hope you entertain me for the next couple of hours” I say referring to the harry potter book that I brought for entertainment.

Marco’s POV:

           “About time you get here Hummels” I say. “Sorry but my little sister had some car troubles and I had to help her out” He explains as he changes into his gear. “I didn’t know you had a sister” I say surprised. “Really? I thought I told you” He says with a confused look on his face. “Well she’s outside if you want to meet her but I must warn you she’s a hard-ass” he adds laughing at the end. “I’ll be the judge of that” I say before walking out. When I talk into the field I see this girl who I’m assuming is Mats sister and I got to say she’s beautiful. “Hey” I say as I approach her. She looks up from her book and shyly smiles while giving a small hey in return. “You’re Mats sister right?” I ask to confirm if it was truly her and she nods her head. “Yup that’s me. And you are?” She asks. “Marco” I reply. I’m a bit shocked that she doesn’t know who I am through news or even through Mats himself. “Y/n” she says simply extending her hand to shake mine. Instead of shaking her hand I chose to place a kiss which threw her off. “Um don’t you have to go train or something” she says turning back to her book. “Yeah but I’d much rather spend my time with a beautiful girl such as yourself” I say trying my charm on her but it has no effect. “So you’re gonna ignore the annoyed looking coach that is looking our way” She says nodding her head towards Joachim who looks like he wants to chop my head off. “Right well until we meet again beautiful” I wink at her and head off to meet with the rest of the team. Mats was right about her being a hard-ass. Any girl would have fallen to my feet with that charm but with her I got nothing and I got to say I kind of like that about her. Hard to get. “Hey so I saw you were chatting with my little sis” Mats says while we’re warming up. “I wouldn’t really call it a chat” I say. “Told you. She’s not one for conversation especially with people she doesn’t know.” He chuckles. “Well what do I have to do to get her attention?” I ask sounding a bit desperate. “Ooh I think Reus here got himself a little crush” Mario pipes up from behind. “Well only if its ok with Hummels over here” I say. “It’s ok with me. She needs someone to have her let loose” He says to my surprise. “Really?” I ask in disbelief. “Yeah bro you got my blessing” he jokes. “Ok I got your blessing now what?” I ask not knowing what on earth I’m going do to make this girl mine. “Like you said before get her attention and show her how serious you are. There’s a reason why she’s the way she is. Guys used to be all over her and ask her out but it was just to get in bed with her and she got fed up. So she started to act be tough around guys and here she is now” He explains and I understood where she came from. “So basically, you need to show her how serious you are. Do something to show that to her” Mario adds. “I think I have an idea” I say as we continue to train.

Y/N’s POV:

           It didn’t take long before I finished my book so I ended up watching my brother and the others. Particularly Marco. Was I interested in him? Yes, but he seems like those boys in my past who will charm their way into bed. I promised myself I would not fall for that type again but somehow I feel like he’s is different. Genuine. But I am still unsure which is why when practice was over I told Mats I would wait near the car to avoid any contact with him. After tomorrow I won’t see him again so it’s better to save myself now from heartbreak.

Next Day…

           “Y/N! Come on we have to be there in half an hour!” I hear Mats yell. “I’m going! I’m just putting on some lipstick!” I shout back. I don’t know why but I felt the need to look good today since Mats’ game is today. “Whoa who are you trying to impress?” Mats asks as he sees me coming down the stairs in my black skinny jeans, jersey, hair done, and a little bit of make-up. “Nobody” I say a little too quickly. “You sure you’re not trying to impress one particular friend of mines” He says nudging me causing me to roll my eyes. “Nope. I just thought I’d look nice for your game since I rarely go to them” I say. “All right whatever you say” He says as he opens the door.

           As we arrived to the stadium most people were already there including the girlfriends/wives of the players. Thankfully I’ve gotten to know some of them so I wouldn’t be alone the whole time. “Good luck and please don’t be reckless. I want my brother back in one piece” I say hugging him. “Don’t worry I’ll be fine baby sis” He replies hugging me back and heading off into the locker rooms. I then make my way to the VIP area to meet up with the with the other WAGs. “Y/N!” I hear Ann shout as soon she saw me. “Ann!” I shout back mimicking her excitement. “I haven’t seen you in forever” she says bear hugging me. “Yeah it’s been a while” I say losing air since she was hugging me like if she hasn’t seen me in years. “We have a lot to catch up before the game like when did you start putting an effort in the way you look” She says looking me up and down before we take our seats. “Oh my goodness stop making a big deal out of this. This is nothing.” I say defensively. “Y/N I have known you for years and I know you rarely go out like this. But I have to say it’s working for you. So who’s the lucky guy? Marco?” she says wiggling her eyebrows leaving me there with my eyes wide open. “What? No. How did you know about that?” I ask. “Well Mario may or may not have told me about yesterday” She says smiling rather suspiciously. “What do you know?” I narrow my eyes at her. “Nothing. Oh would you look at that the game is about to start” she says directing my attention to the field where the players were starting to warm up. My eyes immediately caught sight of the attractive blonde from yesterday and I couldn’t help but let a small smile creep up.

           After both teams finished warming up the game soon commenced and Germany just went at it with trying to score and having full possession of the ball. Within the first fifteen minutes Germany made a goal and made by none other than Marco Reus. The crowd was going crazy especially my section when he came running towards us. He looked at me straight in the eyes, pointed at me, and blew me a kiss so I knew that goal was meant for me. I was a bit shocked actually since I sort of dissed him yesterday but happy to see he wasn’t those guys who gave up easily when they took a hint to fuck off. I felt heat rise up to my cheeks and thankfully my blush was able to cover up that embarrassment. “Aww looks like someone has a crush” Ann teased me causing me to tell her to hush. And it didn’t stop after that goal because he made 2 more goals and repeated the same gesture making your heart beat a little faster. The end of the match came and that’s when I thought it was over until he came running towards me and actually jumped into the stands making everyone freak out. “Are you psycho?! What are you doing?!”I yelled at him for his recklessness but he ignored me and instead leaned in giving me a passionate kiss that I wished would have never end. “Go out with me? Please?” He asks when he breaks the kiss off leaning his head onto mine. Could it be? Finally somebody who is not a fuckboy playing with my emotions? After a couple of seconds I came to say “Yes”. “Thank god all that work was for something” he smiles making me laugh. “I’d say you proved your feelings” I say leaning in for another kiss. “Hard-ass” he joked making me smack him playfully and laugh. No disagreement there.

[uss-recovery]

S1 E1: The Emissary, Part 1

... and so it begins!

I’m writing up my thoughts on the first few episodes quite a while after I first watched them, but I also want to get screencaps, so I’m going back through the episode and I’ll have my memory well refreshed. Alright. Let’s go.

(putting all of this under a Read More because it’s LONG)

Title crawl! Conveniently, I just re-watched the Borg episodes of TNG. I’m glad they built on the shared universe

Sisko!!! there is my boy toniiiight

On a more serious note, I’m very interested in him. I’ve heard a lot of good things, and I think he’s going to be a complex and well-written character

Is he captain or first officer?

That’s a way to start a show! wowza. They don’t usually deal with the aftermath of war or conflict in Star Trek. I guess that’s a core difference between DS9 and its predecessors- DS9 is all about consequences. They don’t fly on to the next star system once the battle’s over; they’re the ones cleaning up and sorting out the mess afterwards. It’s also the first Trek show not on the Enterprise!

There’s something very distinctive and kind of weird about Avery Brooks’s voice. I don’t know how to describe it- he enunciates very clearly, and there’s almost a meter or rhythm to the way he says his lines. I don’t dislike it, but I’m not used to it yet

I know already that I am going to LOVE Jake and Sisko’s relationship. I am so happy that they wrote a captain/commander who has an immediate family and had a lasting, dedicated, loving romantic relationship (while it lasted :(( ). Also, this is one of the least ugly outfits they dress Jake in. The poor kid has to wear so many hideous “space ‘90s” jumpsuits

She!!!!! They!!!! That’s it that’s the show right there. Also, what a cute screencap. Kudos to me, you’re all welcome

HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH

it’s DS9 we’re allowed to say “hell” now

That’s a nice shot! I wish I knew how to make gifs- it’s the pan that really makes the shot, but it would probably make this a terrible post to load anyways. Are the slopes on the docking pilons supposed to look like Cardassian neck ridges, because they do, and that’s cool

O’BRIEN!! I knew he was gonna be here, but it’s cool anyways. The station is trashed

Sisko’s “what the hell is going on, aliens are weird, you’re a weird creepy old man” face

and his scary “I may be smiling but i can stop smiling really quickly” smile

and of course Kira has one of her own! I already like her. I like that she’s very forward and honest, and I think her relationship with Sisko is going to benefit from that honesty. For the more diplomatic position he holds, he’s better at playing nice than she is, but neither of them like to have to.

Use of the word “God” counter: 1! This ain’t Roddenberry’s Star Trek no more

“So this is the fresh hell i signed up for! Won’t it be fun.”

oh no it’s the sheriff!!! I mean, the constable!! I mean, the security chief! At this point, Odo’s the Wild West sheriff in his boom town, barely keeping the rabble at bay and keeping his own brand of justice that’s a little bit off from the law. Now I’m imagining Odo in a cowboy hat and I don’t like it

Compared to other shows, DS9 changes very little from the pilot to the main episodes. Kira gets a new (better) haircut, but the main characters’ backgrounds and personalities come mostly intact. Quark especially so- Armin Shimerman stepped fully and comfortably into the character from episode one. His performances throughout the show are nuanced, consistent, and impressive, especially having to act through extensive facial prosthetics

Sisko’s little tic when O’Brien mentions Picard... good acting, good acting

and he is PISSED. you can tell just from the way he walks. good acting, good acting

tHE PICARD MANEUVER! Hello, jumpsuits. I’m glad they have this scene between Sisko and Picard. It hurts to watch, because if you’ve watched TNG, you’ve probably become attached to Picard (as I have), and so you feel bad for him because Wolf 359 wasn’t his fault. However, having seen its effects on Jake and Sisko, you also see Sisko’s side and understand why he’s still angry at Picard. Conflicts work well when both sides are right, but it’s harder to watch because of that.

Sidenote: Picard pronounces “Bajor” wrong. Also, he has tea! because of course he does. He’s Picard, that’s the Picard-iest thing to do, and it makes him and Sisko seem more different, which is the goal of this scene as much as it is to move the plot forward. Picard is a solitary, reserved man of words, wheras Sisko has baggage (both from his past and in the form of Jake) and is a direct, emotional man of action.

This scene further delineates Sisko from Picard and defines Sisko as a character. He understands the practicalities of running a space station, he understands economics, and he is willing to be mean to Quark to make Quark do what the station needs. Also, Quark as a community leader is a hilarious idea

It also shows Quark and Odo’s relationship, which is amazing. They are an odd little team of two, in a charmingly dysfunctional way

aaaaaand there, Sisko has started to earn Kira’s begrudging and hard-won respect, and in an impressively short amount of time. He’s good at reading people. Kira needs someone to listen to her and take her concerns seriously, and also to be able to match her bellicosity and think of solutions she hasn’t considered already. They’re also an odd little team of two, though in a functional way this time

I wanna know who did the matte paintings because damn

Ok I found out it was Syd Dutton! He’s one of the regular matte painters throughout the history of Trek- I recommend checking out his Memory Alpha or IMDB pages!

The ‘90s... it burns... also, Sisko’s “what the hell is going on, aliens are weird, you’re a creepy alien” face is back

Sisko is sensitive and emotional in a way that is unique to himself. He has clear boundaries between his personal and professional life, as is appropriate; when he is with Jake or in his flashback with Jennifer, we get to see a completely different side to him than we do when he is in command. When on the job, he is powerful, a little intimidating, direct, and quick-thinking. When at home, he is still completely himself, but calmer and more open with the playful and affectionate sides of his nature. The more I think about it, the more I like what Mr. Brooks and the writers are making of Sisko.

The gang’s all here! Terry Farrell is so pretty. Geez. And season one puppy Bashir makes his appearance, already gawking, as he will continue to do for like twenty episodes. I really like him, though, even if he’s kind of annoying- he’s still endearing in his own way.

I like how Bashir looks at Sisko and then tries to kind of back off about asking Dax out. We don’t see Sisko’s face, which makes it amusing to imagine what Julian sees there that makes him (more) nervous

Also, I love their friendship. Sisko relaxes around her, and Dax can make jokes and poke fun at him. Dax’s amusement whenever people are attracted to her is also something I like- she’s totally in control of herself and her relationships, and she isn’t bothered much by Julian or Quark or anyone. Of all the main characters of DS9, Jadzia is really the ladies’ man. Or the gentlemen’s lady. Or the anyone’s anyone, really, but the phrase doesn’t work as well. Maybe the anyone’s worm.

Oh, Julian. No, Julian. Don’t call people’s planets backwaters to their faces. Especially not to Major Kira. She could kill you with a look, and you are easily intimidated.

Dr. Julian Bashir Mood™: I am very frightened but also you are hot

That’s gonna be his Mood™ for... a while.

Also, Let Kira Cuss Everyone Out 2kForever. Reasons they should have made a DS9 movie: so Kira and Sisko and O’Brien could all unleash their inner sailor and just have a GO at Gul Dukat (yes yes he will probably die within the series, but it would have been amazing)

Picard beaming O’Brien off the Enterprise :’)

Gul Dukat is a slimy sonuvagun and I’m glad Sisko is up to the challenge of outwitting him

Solving your problems, grumpy-Federation-officer-on-a-beaten-up-Cardassian-space-station style!

Alright, I’m going to end this post before it overloads my computer. I’m not sure where episode one officially ends, but I’m about halfway through the pilot. This is a lot of fun, and I’m getting some great screencaps, so I’ll say this post has been a success. Now, let’s see if it’ll upload...

[tombloodyfelton]

So I finally decided to get out of my comfort zone and write something silly with zero angst and terrible puns and questionable morals. I just thought I owed it to Julian (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) Pls don’t hate me for this lol. 

Part I - Allenbert

After the whole fiasco of wiping off Barry’s memories and his little row with Cisco over what could have possibly gone wrong (‘There was nothing wrong with my disruptor, Julian, I’d calculated everything!’, ‘Oh, then why did you forget about Barry’s increase neural velocity?’, ‘Excuse me, but it wasn’t like you remembered that tiny little detail either, Mr. Metahuman Specialist!’), Julian had retreated to the small room next to the Cortex, which he had basically made his own private office. He was currently making himself look busy with working on an algorithm to identify patterns in unsolved murders in Central City in the past ten years when Barry Allen walked in, looking slightly sheepish, but mostly curious and...well, carefree.

‘Carefree’ was a word Julian would have never thought he would one day use to describe the superhero of Central City, but well, here he was.

“So...since everyone else is busy downstairs trying to figure out how to... fix me, I was wondering if we could...talk, perhaps?”

Julian didn’t take his eyes off the tablet in his hands as his fingers typed in a series of codes in quick succession. “Talk? Alright. I can multitask.”

“What do you know about me?”

The question came out of nowhere and made Julian look up at the younger man with a raised brow, “What do I know about you?” You’re a shitty CSI, you’re sloppy and hot-headed, you never listen to my wise suggestions, you have a hero complex… “You’re gay and we’re dating.”

He wasn’t sure why he said that. Maybe because he thought it would rattle Barry, or at the very least annoy him. He liked getting under Barry’s skin, ruffling his feathers, so to speak. It was all good fun, the length the two would go to just to see nostrils flare, teeth sinking into the bottom lip to stop a particularly nasty remark from escaping, but failing most of the time and then being shamelessly unapologetic about it. He braced himself for a sarcastic retort, but for some reason, it didn’t come.

Barry’s pleasantly surprised “We are?” wasn’t exactly what Julian had been expecting to hear. He expected a certain amount of skepticism at least, but instead Barry had sounded pleased with the possibility of them together. Julian also noticed that the brunette CSI hadn’t even objected to being gay either. Curiouser and curiouser.

“Yes, totally.” He said flippantly to mask his surprise, eyes cast downward at the tablet, numbers and charts mixing haphazardly with the sudden images of Barry bent over his desk at the precinct, pants pooling around his long legs, his bare ass sticking out in the air.

Julian dug his finger into the knot of his tie to loosen it. It had suddenly become a little difficult to pass saliva down his throat.

“So, it’d be ok if I did this,” Julian looked up at the odd comment at the same time Barry leaned down to catch Julian’s lips in a surprise kiss.

Julian’s first impulse was to push him away, but Barry was kissing him with so much fervor and charming eagerness that it felt wrong and somewhat cruel to put such an aggressive end to it. Still seated and craning his neck to better access Barry’s mouth, Julian went along with the kiss because it actually felt nice, and he was surprised that he was enjoying a misplaced kiss with Barry Allen, of all people. Normally, he wasn’t particularly interested in such open displays of affection, but Barry had a way of running his tongue seductively over the seam of Julian’s lips and sliding it persuasively into his mouth that the blond couldn’t find it in his heart to care.

“What the fuck, man?”

The two promptly broke apart as their eyes landed on the intruder. Julian cleared his throat and adjusted his tie awkwardly, as he pointed an accusing finger at a deeply flushed Barry, “He kissed me first!”

“Err...I shouldn’t have?” If possible, he went even redder in the face as he took a step away from the desk and Julian’s seated form.

Cisco gave him a comic wide-eyed look mixed with horror and confusion. “No! You’re not even gay! Or did we mess up with your sexuality, too?”

“What? I’m not gay? But I thought...and the kiss was…”, Barry looked back at Julian as if asking for help.

Julian didn’t have the heart to deny him that, not with those innocent eyes and the trembling lips on that stupidly cute face. “It was very nice, Barry.” He said with absolute honesty.

Barry’s face lit up like a child who had just torn into a birthday present only to find his dream toy inside the box. “Yeah! I’d like to try it again.”

Cisco looked like he was about to pull his hair out. “No, you don’t! This isn’t you, Barry. You’re totally not gay,” and then with less conviction, “Well, as far as you let us know all these years, that is.”

Somehow, Julian was finding this whole scenario highly amusing. “Well, if he likes to explore other possibilities now, I’d say we let him.”

Barry gave him a brilliant smile, while Cisco turned to him with a severe frown. “Why are you even enjoying this? I thought you didn't like him.”

Well, the remark was a bit odd, considering the progress Julian had made in his rocky relationship with Barry. He thought everyone knew by now that the two actually got along and the bickering was only part of the fun. Why was Cisco upset over the fact that Julian might like Barry a little more than was allowed within the red lines of friendzone?

“You...don’t like me?” Barry’s eyes were quivering with hurt and confusion. It did something awful to Julian, like he had just kicked a puppy. “Then why are we even dating?”

“You're WHAT? JULIAN WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM??”

Julian got to his feet and crossed his arms across his chest defensively, “I was joking, okay?”

“Joking?” Barry now looked on the verge of tears. “Like, we're not really dating?”

Apparently, an amnesiac Barry was also very slow on the uptake. Julian actually liked him better this way, he could easily wrap him around his finger and make him believe the most ridiculous thing. He was just so damn gullible and Julian surprisingly found that a highly attractive personality trait on the speedster.

But the British CSI wasn’t really that horrible of a person. Or at least, he didn’t want to think that he was. “No, Barry, I’m sorry. It was just a stupid joke. I didn’t think you’d believe it.”

Julian was expecting Barry to get angry at him for the prank, but instead, the younger man just kept looking at him with hurt, pleading eyes. “But...but I liked it. The kiss. You. I mean...I have these feelings...I thought...it didn't feel like a joke.”

Barry’s sudden confession of love, or whatever absurd feeling it was, threw Julian completely off-guard. “Oh my lord,” he pinched the bridge of his nose, not believing that a little teasing and a little kiss, no matter how nice it had actually felt, could leave such a strong impression on Barry, who was, by all intent and purposes, totally straight and in love with his childhood sweetheart.

They really needed to get the old Barry back, Julian thought with rising panic.

Still standing in the doorframe, Cisco seemed to be having the same idea. “Julian, please figure out this mess before Iris finds out about it!”

“Why? What does she have to do with anything?” Barry’s cluelessness made Julian snort in amusement. Ignoring the whole creepy love confession, this was the most fun Julian had had in ages. And he had to thank an amnesiac, suddenly-gone-homosexual Barry Allen to thank for it. What had become of his life?

“Barry! You and Iris are engaged!” Julian was finding Cisco’s outbursts also quite funny. Somehow, the thought that this whole mess was the product of something Julian had said made the senior lab tech feel very proud of himself.

“WHAT?!” Was it just him, or were there just too many outbursts in this room, Julian wondered to himself as he watched Barry’s panicked expression with sly amusement. “Why would I even...! I mean, she’s like, my sister? Wally told me he’s my brother, so how does that not make Iris my sister?”

Barry’s reasoning actually managed to quickly sober Julian up. This was getting into dangerous territory now and Julian should really stop treating Barry’s sudden homosexual tendencies and attraction to blond, blue-eyed jerks as an amusing joke. “Okay, this is getting totally fucked-up.”

But it was proving to be very difficult not to be amused at the ridiculousness of the whole situation.

“You think?” Cisco narrowed his eyes angrily at him. “You should’ve thought about it before making such stupid jokes for your perverse amusement.”

Oh, they were back at it again. The constant bickering. What was it with Julian always attracting these types of people into his orbit? Or did he just had that effect on everyone? “Well, I’m sorry! I wasn't lying when I said he kissed me first. Barry here apparently is kind of attracted to me.” And that is by no means my fault, he let Cisco draw that conclusion by himself.

Never let it be said that Julian Albert Desmond would ever admit to having made a mistake. Especially in cases that he clearly had not.  

As if Julian had just said something Barry was dying to hear from the very start, those green eyes began to shine with fierce determination once more. “Yeah, Julian’s right. I really like the idea of us dating.”

How did they end up in this mess, again? Yeah, totally not Julian’s fault.

Cisco grabbed the sides of his head into his hands, looking on the verge of a nervous breakdown. “Oh my god. Okay. I’m leaving you to this! Julian! Fix this!” He then turned on his heels and left the office before either of them could say anything.

Julian turned towards Barry who was looking back at him with badly-concealed anticipation, biting his lip and shifting from one foot to another. He gave the brunette a suggestive smirk as he walked around the desk to get closer to him. Barry held his breath, green eyes daring him to throw all caution to the wind.

It had been ages since Julian had felt this carefree . He supposed Barry’s attitude was probably contagious.

“Okay, where were we?” And before he knew it, they were making out again, all eager mouths and labored breathing and drawn-out moans, hands tangled into one another’s hair and their bodies flushed from chest to hip, Julian on his tiptoes to better reach Barry’s amazing lips.

Barry was a damn good kisser, Julian decided as he felt sharp teeth tugging at his lower lip and sucking it in; and the blond CSI wasn’t one to let such good opportunities go to waste just because of some feeling of moral obligation. He’d let Barry punch him in the face once he regained his memories and then everything would be back to normal. No more guilty conscience and all, if there ever was one.

Next Part: Julvibe