#i finished my undergrad but with a lower GPA than i wanted

[ukiiyo-e]

Strategies to Help Pass Classes

I just finished my first semester as a graduate student with all As and these are some of the strategies that have helped me. I was one of those “naturally gifted” kids growing up and started to face burnout come college. I passed with a nice GPA, but there were many things I could have done to improve that I’ve used for this semester I’d like to share what can help people in similar situations.

See a therapist: 

Easier said than done, I know, but the help they provide is invaluable. I wasn’t diagnosed with some stuff for a while, and once I was and we worked on ways to deal with it in different areas of life. Since then life became more manageable. DO NOT USE BETTERHELP! For people based in the USA Psychology Today is great, you can slim down the searches to your needs and always look up reviews of the person. Some campuses offer therapy as well; you could always try it out.

Annotating: 

I thought I was too good for it in college and I have been uncomfortable with writing in books since I was young, even more so with ones I’m renting. I’ve tried using more sticky notes, underlining text lightly in pencil, and sticky tabs. It’s been such a huge game-changer! Sure you’ll have to remove all of those when it’s time to return the books, but it’s so worth it!

Grammarly or an alternative of your choice:

Yeah, the commercials are annoying, but it does a good job of cleaning up the little mistakes. I make so many spelling mistakes when quickly typing so I always put it through Grammarly. After that, for bigger assignments, I’ll print it out, take out the red pen and give it one more check over. It has saved me on so many projects and papers.

Map out your writing & Restate the question/items in the rubric in the writing:

I first tried this when completing my certification tests and it helped me to always score high on the essay portions. I tried applying it to my grad papers and I’ve experienced the same effect. Mapping out the writing, jotting down quotes/sources you want to use, as well as points you want to make in each paragraph helps to keep you on track. This prevents you from losing points and makes it easier to compare your paper to the rubric.

Write down a your due dates everywhere: 

I mix up dates frequently so writing them down in my notes, on sticky notes, in my planner, and on my phone aids me in not thinking on top of my game and then gets jumpscared by a close due date I had forgotten. You can’t forget what’s constantly in front of your face. 

Organize your files and save everything your professors give you:

In undergrad I didn’t organize anything, I didn’t receive too many handouts or PowerPoints but I still look back on some of the ones I have to this day to help me. Not to mention college is getting more and more expensive so take everything they give you without remorse. My advisor told me for my program to save everything and that was the plan. I try not to use Google Docs too much, I only use it for smaller drafts and then delete them once they’re transferred and completed. I recommend saving them to a hard drive, and organizing your files by Uni, Semester, then class. It makes me happy knowing I have a myriad of pdfs and links (even very recently written academic articles) that I can use and talk to my colleagues about. Being able to share this with coworkers makes me come across as a stronger and more valuable addition to the team which is a wonderful bonus!

Don’t be afraid to talk to your professors:

The name of the game is networking. You don’t have to be a teacher's pet but show some initiative. Actually read their comments! I know so many people who passed and don’t give a shit what notes the professor leaves. When I noticed a lower grade I talked to my professor about it and found out there was a formatting issue due to the program the uni used, it took a while to figure out but going forward I didn’t lose any more points.  In a different course certain pieces of information the professor gave us on the final project didn’t match so I reached out to ask which was correct as well as some others given it was my first time writing this type of paper. They responded so fast and then sent an email to the rest of my peers addressing the inconsistencies.  That saved me a lot of work and stress!

Rewards and relaxation:

There needs to be a balance between work and relaxation. I would get so worked up and be so hard on myself since this was my first semester and look at all my actions through a microscope to make sure I was doing enough. As I got more accustomed to my schedule I made more time for myself. Do things that make you happy when you can. Now rewards on the other hand acted as motivation. I am unfortunately a procrastinator, especially once I learn how long it takes me to do an assignment. I’m proud of myself for not doing papers last minute like in undergrad and that’s because I would break up certain tasks into days and create small rewards for myself. Example: I have assigned readings I have to do (highlight, annotate, and write a summary of main points and important page numbers in my notebook). Depending on how much reading there is I could either A. Get it all done and reward myself or B. Do about half of it, reward myself, then finish the other half. Rewards to me were like new episodes of a tv show or some time to play a video game. This now makes me feel more comfortable about doing more things when it’s time for summer classes.

Color coding: 

To me, this means using a variety of colors when taking my notes.  If I just take them in one color I find I have a harder time focusing when studying as well as recalling the information when I need it. 

Don’t worry about writing a paper in order:

I struggle with introductions on papers so instead I get all of my body done so I don’t waste time and then work on the introduction. Even with topic sentences I make a note like [TOPIC SENTENCE] and highlight it so I know to go back to it once I finish the paragraph. Probably weird and niche but still figured I should include it lol

[mtlgrandprix]

I'm 25 today 😱

[chronos-advice]

Advice Column 1 -

Things I wish I did in high school (for the kids who want to go to college)

Spent my time. I rushed through high school to finish when I was 16 because I hated school and just wanted to start my career. I ended up getting a horrible GPA, worse SAT scores, changed majors 3 times before settling for a two year degree, did absolutely nothing with it, couldn’t get hired anywhere, and I missed out on all the memories that are only made once in anyones life; in high school.

Got at least a 3.0 GPA. I still got into two different universities with a 2.5 GPA, but my options were very limited. If you want to go to a university with specifics (staying close to family, has certain degree programs, certain activities, etc.), aim for at least a 3.0 GPA. Or, at least have schools in mind & know their requirements.

Taught myself. High school doesn’t teach you what you need to know, it teaches you what they think you need to know. I didn’t know the difference between a bachelors & a masters or undergrad vs graduate until my first semester of being an undergraduate.. know everything about how the university system works or else you might go wild with anxiety when the time comes. Besides that, teach yourself things you want to learn that you can’t learn at school. Explore all kinds of different subjects and know what your interests are. It will make choosing a major a whole lot easier.

Volunteered. Start your resume. Having a job is okay, but honestly, it’s not required (resume speaking, not actual life speaking). Having experience in customer service and sales roles is awesome to put on a resume, but don’t get trapped in that industry if you don’t want to be in it forever. There are tons of volunteer opportunities for many different realms of things, remotely and locally. Find some that you might be interested in and go for it. Most don’t require many hours of your time per week/month and some can even turn into an internship or apprenticeship if you’re lucky. When you are in college or newly graduated, it will be hard finding a career-type role if you don’t have a lot of spicy things to put on your resume or if you only have experience listed in an industry other than the one you’re applying to.

Sports & extracurriculars. This could’ve made college a whole lot cheaper for me. Not only will schools lower or completely remove your tuition if you’re good at sports or arts, tons of sports & art scholarships are available. Some scholarships are even made for clubs; ex chess club scholarship. Play a sport, an instrument, make some art, photography, be on yearbook, student council (maybe?), theater, even… plus it adds to the experience points.

Networked. Start a LinkedIn or something. Add your classmates, teachers, bosses, people you volunteer with.. whoever. Ask for recommendation letters from respected people; teachers, religious leaders, bosses… Just keep some people in your professional circle.

Didn’t fall in love. I had big plans to go to UNLV & become a big time financial advisor for a casino. I never got to go. I fell in love with an abvser & gave up my dreams for it. And now I’m an adult, going back to college for sociology so I can help other abvse victims. If both people in a relationship aren’t mature enough, the relationship or the college dream will surely parish. Maybe it’s pessimism, but I watched it happen to many people I went to school with besides myself. Have fun & love people, but don’t fall -in- love, in high school.

The bare minimum. I wish I did the bare minimum. I took 7 classes, 2 online and no lunch to finish early. I still got a 2.5 GPA, I didn’t walk the stage either, because I didn’t know anybody, nobody would’ve known my name when it was called anyways. It’s high school, it’s not that serious, trust me. It seems serious, but it’s not. Do the bare minimum and h a v e f u n. Keep your GPA at 3.0, listen in class and cheat when you need to, listen to podcasts when you’re doing other things, volunteer, have an extracurricular if you can & want to….. and that’s really it. That’s the show. Besides SAT & ACT, you don’t have to take much of high school so seriously to get into a decent college.

[cinematicnomad]

i hope you feel better soon! (and if you don’t mind me asking for some advice? would you mind talking a little about your transition to grad school? i’m in the middle of filling out applications and i’m looking at all of these requirements and stuff that they’re asking for and i don’t have anything at all that would make me a decent candidate - i tried my best during undergrad but my grades were never above subpar and i finished out school in lockdown so i don’t have any experience either - even though i /know/ i’d be really good at the work…. i’m just….feeling very despondent right know)

((sorry for the rambling 😅)

heyyyy anon! okay! i am totally happy to answer these questions. i am, in fact, a GREAT person to ask about this because i work in graduate admissions sooo i have more than just my own personal graduate school experience to help answer, but my entire career as well 😅

now, first caveat: i work for an engineering school, and graduate admissions does have some nuances that are unique to each general subject—what we do when reviewing an application for, say, a student applying to mechanical engineering, is gonna be v different from what the law school looks for, or what the english looks for, etc etc. but there are some general tips and tricks that i am happy to share!

first things first, your GPA is not the be all and end all. it really is a holistic review of your materials. i applied to grad school with a solid 3.0 from undergrad and i got in, and i can for SURE tell you that we admit students to the engineering program that have lower GPAs, even lower than our stated average on our website (but obviously—be aware, if admitted, most grad programs DO require that you maintain above a 3.0 in the program to graduate).

now, that holistic review comes in through the other materials you submit—your letters of recommendation, your resume, your statement of purpose, any test scores that are required...etc etc. (i'm not sure if your application requires test scores—i know a lot of admissions offices have moved away from them during the pandemic because accessing tests was v difficult for a time and waiving it obviously lead to an increase in apps which schools love to see.)

(this got long: more below the cut)

for your letters of recommendation: ask professors or employers who can really speak to your ability to succeed in graduate school. if they're somebody in the same field/subject that you're applying to, that's even better bc their opinion carries more weight. a lot of times we get students who submit letters of rec from people with really high titles but who don't know the student for shit and give a real generic letter—that's not helpful. the admissions office is going to be looking for specificity and for someone who can really speak about you and your strengths and why you're a good fit.

if you're worried about asking for a letter of rec bc it's been too long since you spoke to the professor/were in their class/etc, here's my advice: send them an email asking how they're doing and giving a quick update on your life. explain that you're applying to grad school (and where) and that you'd like to ask for a letter of rec from them. remind them what class (or classes) you took, what grade(s) you received (if they're good), what semester you were enrolled in, and why you liked it (their lectures were memorable! the subject material is what made you want to pursue a master's! it's the most fun you had in undergrad! etc etc etc). IF you saved copies of your old papers, offer to re-share them with the professor if they need a reminder of examples of your work. and then thank them for their time and consider and wait for their response. DON'T add their names to the application until they agree to write you a letter bc a lot of the app systems these days will auto-send the email to your recommenders as soon as their info is added, even before you have submitted the application.

THIS i speak from personal experience 😅 thankfully the professor agreed to write the letter anyway, lol

(note: extra rec letters, do not really help you at all. if an application requires 2, you don't get any extra kudos for submitting 3, or 4, or 5...when that happens there's no way to guarantee that the app reviewer will take the time to read all the submitted letters, they may just pick 2 at random, and those might not be the strongest. so it's best to stick to the requirements and to pick the recommenders who will sing your praises).

the resume is obvious—if you're worried GPA this is the place where you can highlight any special projects that you've worked on or jobs that you've had related to the area of study you're applying to. it's just a space that gives you the opportunity to provide the admissions office with more info about you, your skillset, and your background.

last, that statement of purpose. first thing: follow whatever instructions the program provides. the statement of purpose is where they're looking to see if you pay attention to detail. if there's a prompt, make sure you respond to it, and if there's a word count, make sure you stick to it. for the programs i work on, we typically look for 500 words max—if a student goes over that by 100 words, no big deal. if a student goes over that by 1500 words?? oh yeah, that's a problem. i know some faculty members who will just....stop reading the statement around that 500 mark even if there are still 3 more pages to go. we're looking to make sure that you can be concise and to the point and that you can follow directions.

if there's no prompt (my programs don't have one!) then it can be a little daunting what to write. a good framework that i suggest to students that i speak with is: past, present, future. so, start off talking about your past (where you got your bachelors, what you studied in undergrad, etc). since you mentioned your grades weren't the best, you can use this space to add in an explanation about how distance learning wasn't for you/the pandemic had an impact on your studies, etc. then move onto present: what are you doing now (are you about to graduate? are you working? is it in a related field or something totally different, etc) and why this is the moment you want to go to grad school. and then: future. what will grad school do for you and why is THIS PROGRAM the right fit. be sure to name drop the CORRECT school (you will not BELIEVE how many essays i've read with the wrong school). if it fits, mention any faculty that you're interested in working with/learning from, and any classes that look interesting to you. you can also talk about the location and/or the university in general, and how this program will help you to achieve your goals of xyz.

soooo those are most of the standard application materials. obviously some programs will require other things—portfolios, writing samples, etc, i can't speak to those with much authority.

make sure you pay attention to the application deadline! these will vary by program. submitting an application early doesn't usually help, but submitting an application LATE can hurt you, so try to make sure to have everything submitted on time.

BUT, last tip: a lot of admissions offices will offer application fee waivers so, take the time to search the website, sign up for an information session if you can (they'll usually drop a code at the end of the webinar), etc. if you don't see anything obvious, seriously, just send an email to the admissions team and ask if there's any way to qualify for an app fee waiver. if the answer's no, no big deal, but if there IS a way (like one of those webinars) they'll let you know, and then you can save yourself a good $80 or more.

ANYWAY, this got long, but i hope it helped. i'm here if you have any other questions. BEST OF LUCK!!

✨sleepover friday✨

[amanda-glassen]

The Prettiest Sound

Becca helps Serena unwind before her final exams. Based on the prompt “That was the prettiest sound I’ve ever heard.”

Requested by @justalittleghostwriter

December 2007

Serena was a week away from her first final exams as a junior and between her full course load and her responsibilities as the president of her sorority, she was feeling even more stressed than she had when she was in high school balancing 5 AP classes while studying for the SATs. She looked over at her roommate and best friend Becca. While Serena’s bed was covered in her laptop and books she needed for the research paper she had to finish in addition to studying for her final exams, Becca was watching videos in bed and feeling completely relaxed.

“How are you watching Charlie the Unicorn right now?” Serena asked in disbelief. “You have just as many finals as I do next week.”

“Yeah, but unlike you, I’m not trying to get into grad school,” Becca said as she pressed play on the next video. “I just need a C average to graduate. Even with a 2.0 average, you can still get the same jobs as 4.0 students. Employers look at where you graduated from, not your GPA.”

Serena shut her laptop and laid back on her bed, wondering if any of this was truly worth it. Do I really need to go to graduate school? Do I really want to become a professor and be in school for the rest of my life? “Too bad I couldn’t have been a model like my mom or an actress like my grandma,” Serena sighed. She looked across the room at the full-length mirror and noticed her unkempt appearance. Model? Actress? With my glasses and retainer? “I think that ship has either sailed or never even docked.” 

“Ser,” Becca rolled her eyes. “Come here.” She patted the space next to her on the bed, the space that had become Serena’s side of the bed whenever she had nightmares and wanted to cuddle.

“Beck, I can’t cuddle right now. I have my soc research paper to finish. It has to be 15-20 pages. 15-20! Can you believe that? I swear when I’m a professor, I’m not gonna do some dumb page requirement. 15-20 pages for an undergrad assignment means your students are just going to ramble on because you’re making them say something that could have been better expressed in 5 pages.”

Becca walked over to Serena’s bed and yanked her out. “We’re not gonna cuddle, Serena. Does anyone ever tell you how tightly wound you are for a 20 year old?”

“My family, my friends, this entire sorority, my professors－” Serena began to list as Becca led her over to her bed. “If I want to stay at Columbia for grad school or go to Oxford, I’m gonna need Latin Honors, which means every one-hundredth of a percentage point of my GPA matters.”

“Ser?” Becca leaned in to kiss her. Serena looked around at the Christmas lights they had strewn across their room, the sight of them and the feeling of Becca’s kisses making her feel at peace for the first time since she had started studying. “Do you trust me?”

“With everything I am,” Serena responded nervously, suddenly realizing what Becca had in mind for her.

“I know you’re technically a virgin, but have you ever…?” Becca lowered her eyes.

Serena gave her a half-smile, not quite sure how to answer without getting technical. “Had an orgasm? No.”

“I wanna be your first.” Becca rubbed her nose against hers. “I want to make you feel good, but only if you want this just as much as I do. I want the first person to touch you with your consent to be someone who really loves you.” She felt Becca start to kiss the scars on her wrists. “I’d never make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

Serena’s hand was under Becca’s shirt as she gently caressed her back. “I want you to be my first. I’m just not ready for anyone to be inside me, but I can do…other stuff…”

She hadn’t tried to undress her and Serena knew she was trying to take things slow and gauge her reaction. “We can stop anytime. I promise you.” Becca told her. Her hand was down the front of Serena’s pajama pants, caressing her on the outside of her underwear, waiting for a sign from Serena that it was okay.

But those gentle touches made Serena’s desire build. “Touch me, Beck. I need you.” She was already wet for her and she had to stop herself from coming the moment Becca started to rub her clit.

“It’s okay, Ser,” Becca kissed her. “You can let go. Girls can come more than once.”

Her last comment made Serena giggle. “Beck!”

When she touched Becca for the first time, she needed a moment to process everything that was happening. Becca was soft and wet and the feeling of her heightened the sensation of what Becca was doing to her.

“Can I taste you?” Becca asked, putting Serena in panic mode.

“I’m not shaved like you are,” Serena responded. “I’m not even trimmed.”

“I know,” Becca looked into her eyes. “I can feel your curls. I want you, Serena. I don’t care if you’re shaved or waxed or trimmed or none of those things. Besides, I think going all natural would look so hot on you.”

Serena let Becca take off her pajama pants and her underwear, her feeling of self-consciousness fading away as Becca kissed down her body. She stopped just below her belly button and reached for Serena’s hand, waiting for her to squeeze it to make sure she was okay.

Becca parted her lips and placed delicate kisses on her, coating her lips in Serena’s wetness. No one had ever tasted her before and the anticipation was becoming too much for Serena to handle. Sensing what she needed, Becca placed the tip of her tongue to her clit, slowly tracing circles around it.

“Beck,” Serena moaned. 

Becca gripped Serena’s thighs as she began to gently suck on Serena’s clit, stopping every so often to alternate between that and running her tongue along Serena’s folds, not wanting to leave any part of her neglected. 

“Feels so good, baby,” Serena said softly. It was a new sensation for her. Becca’s softness and desire to pleasure her feeling better than anything she had ever experienced in her life. 

“I love the way you taste.”

She felt Becca wrap her lips around her clit and gently move her tongue back and forth, increasing in speed and intensity with Serena’s moans. Serena closed her eyes tightly and wondered where she should put her hands. She wanted to touch Becca, but she could barely gather enough strength to do anything other than grip the sheets.

Becca knew she wasn’t able to go inside Serena, but she teased her opening with gentle caresses to awaken the nerve endings there. Serena felt herself dripping and she debated if she was ready to fully let Becca in before grinding on her and taking in just the tip of one of her fingers. The intimacy of it coupled with the feeling of Becca’s mouth sucking harder on her clit made Serena feel as if she could no longer hold back.

“Becca,” she moaned. “Becca, I’m－” she couldn’t even get herself to say it, but her moaning and gripping the sheets was more than enough to let Becca know. Her body tensed before she felt herself let go. At that moment, she no longer cared about finals or the pressure put on her to be perfect. All that mattered was her Becca and their newfound connection with each other.

“You did so good, baby. Your moaning was the prettiest sound I’ve ever heard,” Becca said as she held her afterward. “How do you feel?”

“Better than I have ever felt in my whole life,” Serena responded, still slightly out of breath.

“Are you ready to work on your paper again?”

“No,” Serena buried her face in Becca’s neck. 

“Do you wanna go out to dinner with the girls?”

“No,” Serena pouted. “Can’t we just stay here and do this all night?”

“We can,” Becca caressed her back. “We can stay in this bed all night if you want to.”

“Good, because it’s your turn now.”

[historystudies]

I've been following you for a while, and seeing you do exactly what I dream of doing had been truly inspirational! I'm starting honours in August at UofSyd (mid-semester) (and I'll certainly be doing prep before then) and I wanted to ask, when you applied for Oxford masters do you think your honours grades were more influential than your bachelors? I have a decent BA GPA but I was hoping to make up for it during honours, as the thesis is as big as masters, but I'm not sure if that will work 😅

Hello! 🌹 I’m pleased to say that you’re in the exact same position I was in when applying for masters programs! I had a good GPA from my BA, but when I applied for postgrad it was my honours grades that made me eligible. I managed to swing a 7.0 GPA across my thesis and both semesters of coursework (in the Queensland system that’s the equivalent of high distinctions or above 80%). My undergrad performance wasn't as strong, but when you go into your honours program you're essentially starting with a clean slate and whatever grade you end up with from your coursework and diss will be independent from your undergrad. So if you finish with above 80% in that year you will graduate with a first, even if you averaged lower in your undergrad -- provided NSW grades the same as QLD, which is my impression. Best of luck!! 🌹🌹

[legallybeagle]

hey!sorry to bother, but I had a question about law school. Im finishing up my undergrad right now and unfortunately my gpa is probably not going to be amazing because I botched my first year (mental health stuff). Is it even possible for me to get into a decent school with a mid range gpa if I get a great LSAT score? Idek why I'm asking you this lol, I'm just nervous about the whole thing and still deciding on whether to apply for law school bc I want to get into a T1 preferably if I go for it

Hey Anon!

Short answer: yes, absolutely, you can get into a great law school even with a low GPA.

Long answer: in my experience, LSAT is king when it comes to law school admissions. I had a fairly high GPA, and friends who had GPAs much lower than mine got into schools that I was waitlisted or even outright rejected from just because they had higher LSATs. Sometimes the difference between an acceptance and a rejection was just 2 points on the LSAT, even with my stronger GPA. This test matters more than anything else in your application. 

The good news is that you can take the LSAT again. And again. And again. They are now allowing unlimited retakes. For your own health, I’d try not to take it too many times, but definitely take advantage of the opportunity for do-overs if your scores don’t turn out where you want them to be. In general, most law schools will only look at your highest LSAT score; it’s not like undergrad where they average it. 

My advice to you is 1) crush the LSAT, and 2) write an addendum about your freshman year GPA, explaining very matter-of-factly what went wrong, how you addressed it, and highlighting the upward grade trend for your subsequent years.

Overall, I do recommend taking some time off between undergrad and law school so you can really figure out what you want to do. If you can intern or work at a law firm for a bit, that would be even better. You should see if you actually like working in law before making this huge investment. It’ll save you a lot of time and money if you figure that out now.

Best of luck!

[comparativelyinternal]

I really wish I had the self-confidence of a German student who grew up in privilege.

These kids who grew up with parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles and everyone the know having gone to university who just cannot comprehend how difficult it is to do that when you’re the first one in your family to have ever even gotten a BA, nevermind grad school or doing it in an entirely foreign language where you’re judged and graded on the same level as native speakers who have had literal years more practice using academic language.

And then when they get a poor grade because they put in the bare minimum they blame the professor. Literally sat next to a girl when doing presentations and she had everything she wanted to say written down. Not notes or something. Literally word for word and she just read it while never looking up from her paper. When she got a 3 she said she just couldn’t understand why, that it didn’t make sense because she thought she’d done very well, and the professors who had graded us were being unfair. Meanwhile I prepared for hours, practiced my actual presentation to the point that I barely needed my notes (which had bulletpoints I didn’t want to forget to mention, words and phrases I had looked up because I knew they might trip me up, and when to click to change my slides), had a panic attack that turned into a meltdown because autism is fun like that and because of it couldn’t finish the question round, got a 2, and could only think that I should have prepared better somehow. I lied about my grade because I’ve been told multiple times that I haven’t earned the grades I got, that they’re pity grades. (One woman actually gave my husband credit for the grades I made in undergrad, saying I’d only done well because he supported me and I didn’t have to work, and otherwise I wouldn’t have made such high grades; I didn’t meet my husband until two years after I graduated with my BA and did work for the last two years of my degree.)

I get told by my German classmates all the time that I have an unfair advantage over them because I speak English, even though most all of my classes and the papers which determine my GPA have to be in German. When they get a low 2 or a 3, the professors were just grading them too harshly and being unfair. When I get a low 1 or a high 2, I beat myself up about it and wonder what I could have done better. Both papers I’ve been able to write in English have been an entire grade note higher than the ones I write in German, and people tell me oh, you only got that grade because it was in English -- but they didn’t only get the grade they got because it was in German? And if they do poorly despite writing in their first language, it’s not their fault? And if they write in English it’s not their fault that they got a poor grade? But if I get a poor grade when I write in German I deserved what I got, or even lower, because it’s a pity grade since I’m a non-native speaker and clearly the professors grade me more easily because of it (plot twist: they dont)?

What must it be like to blame your own mediocrity on others rather than realizing that it’s because of yourself?

[cosmosogler]

i got some bad news today.

so you know how back in august i was taking my preliminary exam and i passed out? i thought i remembered the score i got on it, and it was super low. like embarrassingly low, and that’s why the graduate coordinator put me in undergrad courses.

this january i took the test again (i was super sick, i was so sick, god) but i got my scores back pretty quick and was pleased to discover that i had tripled my score. despite everything i was improving! maybe i could improve some more!

well... i got my scores sent to me again since i was applying for summer funding and i asked the grader to send them over. my score in january was actually lower than my score last august had been... i had misremembered my august score. 

so... i’ve actually been doing the opposite of improving this whole time. the whole basis of my scale of improvement was wrong. i’m even doing worse than when i had come in fresh off the gallbladder removal surgery. 

i hate this. i hate feeling like this. i hate feeling so worthless. i feel worthless all the time but bringing it up to the front of my mind and having it stick there is awful. 

i hate that i got a thinly veiled threat from the graduate coordinator before the january test that if i didn’t drastically improve my score there would be “trouble.” i hate that it was an empty threat considering my score went down. i hate that he’s lying to me and making everything seem like life and death. i don’t know when the warning will be for real.

i applied for the funding before i had gotten that score comparison back (i found my january scores and sent those) so i didn’t have that crushing realization until i’d already sent everything in. so at least i wasn’t able to talk myself out of applying. guess my application will get laughed at after all.

i want to die. i hate feeling like i can’t do this. i hate throwing myself at a concrete wall over and over and never making any progress except getting my hands and knees more and more shredded. 

i was wrong. i haven’t improved at all! i thought i was doing way better than i was actually doing, AND I ALREADY THOUGHT I WAS DOING TERRIBLY! GOOD TO KNOW I WAS *STILL* OVERESTIMATING MY ABILITIES EVEN AFTER SETTING THE BAR AS LOW AS POSSIBLE!

i don’t know what to do. keep going, naturally, of course, but i don’t know why. why even bother. i feel like a smelly puddle of stagnant water. worthless. 

i know i’m depressed. i know i was really for real super sick BOTH times i have tried to take my preliminary exam so far. but that won’t give me more chances to take the test. that won’t help me pass my classes with an acceptable gpa.

it doesn’t matter why i failed. all that matters is that i keep failing without even improving even a little bit. that’s all the guys in charge care about. it doesn’t matter that i have a handicap. at the end of the day i get less done than my classmates and that’s all they can see. 

i can’t even tell them how severe the handicap is because i don’t know at all. it looks like it’s pretty severe? but i feel like if i’m putting in all this effort i should be getting somewhere. i can’t even put in the effort... my classmates get the homework done and have time to study before the exams. i’m still struggling to finish assignments for the first time the day before our midterms and finals.

why am i like this? i feel like there’s something i’m missing, some easy fix that will make everything resolve itself if i was just smart enough to see what the solution was. but i’m not smart. i’m stupid. and stubborn and delusional i guess. 

i just... i guess i want to confirm that i’m stupid and i shouldn’t be here. but i can’t because the depression is in the way. so i can’t tell if i’m REALLY THAT DEPRESSED or if i just don’t belong. i don’t want to do anything else... i love physics. i wish i was better at it. i wish i was naturally good at it. i wish i could see the easy fix that would make everything click and i’d understand the subject just fine after that. the way harrison did it. i wish i could make it look effortless. the way luis does it. 

i feel like i understand it when i talk about it but then i need to write it down (or demonstrate to a professor, on the spot, when they ask me what i would have done if i wasn’t stressed about the test) and it’s gone. 

i don’t want depression to be the reason i can’t stay here. i don’t want to go home. i’ll die. mom or dad will do it if they’re ever in a bad enough mood. or i’ll do it. or my brother will do it if he finds out how gay i am. the reason doesn’t matter. at the end of the day i’ll be dead. it doesn’t matter why.

it’s funny... i get the worst grades in my favorite subjects. or the ones most important to me. since middle school. math and english were so, so hard for me to get good grades in. physics is impossible for me to get good grades in. 

but the stories i write, people like those. don’t they? they like the characters. 

character analysis was what i was worst at in english, in high school. character analysis essays tanked my grade all the way through undergrad. 

what was i missing? maybe i just think in a different way and that made my grades bad. how can i shift my thinking gears over to what would get better grades...? how do i articulate my understanding, and where it came from, in a way other people find acceptable? 

in english, it’s like, so much is up to interpretation. and the way i process stories is probably different, i focus on different things, i see the evidence and draw different conclusions than other people... i don’t know... in class discussions i felt more like i rocked at it. griffy praised me one time when i pointed out a word in the text that my classmates didn’t notice. 

“seemed.” the character described himself as “seeming” to be friendly and polite or whatever. it was “a hero of our time.” i hated the character but man it was a fantastic character study.

so like... i can do it, when i’m not thinking about it, i guess. how do i stop thinking about it? i don’t think i can do physics problems without thinking about them very, very hard. i just have to memorize the basic equations. the ones you can derive everything else from, if you understand what they mean. but i can’t seem to do that.

i can memorize all the dang pokemon and the moves they’re most likely to have when you battle another person but i can’t remember that the surface bound charge is literally just the magnitude of the polarization along the normal vector. it’s as simple as F = ma. it’s literally that simple.

and i can’t remember it! not when it matters.

but really, to the people in charge of my future, it doesn’t matter that i think differently. it matters that i can’t speak their language. it doesn’t matter why. it only matters that i can’t do it. thinking in colors and letters just isn’t making the transition to numbers on the page. the right numbers. my professor, last time i talked to her, said i got bogged down in the math that didn’t matter to the problem. 

i got confused and trying to solve the problem the long way didn’t matter. i didn’t even realize i was confused. i mean, i knew i’d done something wrong somewhere, because my integral was too hard, but i couldn’t figure out why. so it didn’t matter. my grade tanked. that’s what matters.

i hate bashing my head against this wall over and over and i hate making people watch me bash my stupid stubborn head against the stupid wall and never make any progress. it must be so frustrating for them. why don’t i just do something different?

i do try so many different things... but i can’t seem to find the right different thing.

but i can’t give up. i want to, but i can’t. i don’t have it in me to give up i guess. maybe if i did something different i could give up. but, you know, i can’t seem to find that missing solution either. i’m just stuck failing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over

[realtalk-princeton]

Recently, I've really started resenting my decision to come here instead of Harvard. There's a lot of things I keep thinking about, and I can't seem to reconcile a single, straightforward advantage Princeton has over Harvard. The main things are 1) Workload - the classes here are just harder, and you end up with a worse grade to show for it. It just seem undeniable that we're likely disadvantaged by lower GPAs for recruiting/grad school, and AT BEST, the recruiter/admission people understand the

the GPA difference, so we’re not ridiculously disadvantaged. But in terms of workload, still doesn’t change the fact that my one COS217 assignment is more homework than a weeks worth of total coursework for all but the hardest majors there. They’re out having fun in Boston or chilling with friends while I’m consistently stressed purely from academic workload. 2) Extracurriculars - it seems like there’s so much more stuff to do on campus over there, and the EC scene at Princeton doesn’t really seems to be so much more that they have on campus (from what I hear from friends). There seems such easy access to resume bloat, and they have the free-time to actually pursue it as well. Overall here, it just feels like I’m working harder, have less time to relax, and am on track to less successful than i would’ve been at H and it’s miserable to think about. Sorry that this felt like a rant but I just wanted to get these thoughts off my chest.

Response from Regina:

if the only reason you came here was so that you could be more successful than the people at harvard then i have some news for youu! your success is  dependent on how hard you work.  yes, harvard is easier than here.  im not sure about what harvard has that we dont in terms of extracurriculars  but if we dont have it apply for funding and make it happen!  yes princeton is incredibly hard and harder than harvard but life can be unfair and people might not know that its harder here but you dont need to have all of your successes be noticed by others.  if you’re unhappy here for other reasons (or even these reasons) thats perfectly valid as we cannot say your feelings are invalid but you should figure out a way to be happier! if that means transferring, or switching majors, or creating new clubs on campus, you should do that! but dont have yourself a pity party because if you do that, you are correct that you wont be as successful as your friends from harvard.  if you truly hate spending that much time on your 217 assignment then you probably shouldnt be a cos major if you dont enjoy it.  pick yourself up and remind yourself that you’re at the BEST UNIVERSITY IN THE COUNTRY and decide on what you can do to fix the way that you are feeling!  we want the best for you op and hope that your rant helped you feel better but you gotta put those complaints into action or else you wont be making yourself feel any better.  hope this helped and good luck on finishing othello and your finals!!

Response from Sushi:

^great response Regina (edit: and also Sulpicia)

Response from Sulpicia:

Got ninja’d but I had a rant as well:

We get A LOT of questions like this, and the short answer is that I’m sorry that you think the grass is greener, but there’s nothing you can do about the decision you made in the past. If you want to go to Harvard for grad school great, but otherwise that’s kind of all you can do.

Quite frankly, I don’t think Harvard is in general better than Princeton. My overall philosophy is that different schools are better for different people with different goals, and while Harvard has things Princeton lacks, Princeton has things Harvard lacks. I’m not going to make a T chart or anything, but Princeton has the highest per undergrad spending IN THE WORLD and there are many many advantages that you get here that I’m sure you’re taking for granted because they’re easy to.

Additionally, we get so many ridiculous questions about how Harvard is “so much easier” because their average GPA is higher. It is 0.2 points higher. That is not that much; it’s genuinely like a third of a letter grade higher, and both averages are pretty high. Honestly, if you think that your whole career is going to be derailed because you got one more A- than you think you /might/ have gotten at another school, what are you doing? Your college career does not and should not dictate your entire life and career trajectory, and people thinking that they absolutely must have the best GPA and the best entry-level jobs are not being realistic. Yes, those jobs are great and yes, they will pay well but you are at a school with an ENORMOUS alumni network that will only get richer as your classmates and friends build their own careers. Creativity and hard work are attributes that are prized in the workplace, not the highest GPA (check out the NYT article that came out recently about being a B student).

I don’t think we’re disadvantaged in grad school or recruiting because of GPA. Maybe computer science students don’t get recruited as much as they do from Stanford or a place that is known for CS, but the opportunities we get are ones people at other schools would KILL for. This year we had three Rhodes Scholars, the most from any one school (tied with Yale). We had two Marshall Scholars. People go to top law/med schools every year. Yes, it’s because truly impressive students come here, but it’s insane to me that we have 1-3 Rhodes Scholars EVERY YEAR when many state schools or smaller private colleges would be lucky to have had one or two ever. We get these chances because of the Princeton name, because of the classes/paid internships/fellowships/research trips that give people good resume fodder and essay topics, and because of the coaching we get. If you’re not getting jobs, go to Career Services to the office full of people who are paid to get you a job. I’m sorry that the Fall COS 217 assignment is shit, but that’s life and you’re not the first person to be stuck doing it all break. I highly doubt that everyone at Harvard is “chilling in Boston” and I’m sure most are just as stressed, strung-out, and afraid of failure as you are, if not more so because there’s more pressure to have a perfect GPA.

Like Regina said, I don’t know what’s going on a Harvard (and not the city of Boston) that we don’t have, but there are over 300 groups here and new ones start all the time so I don’t know what you want. Nobody is going to spoon-feed you the life you want, and all this “X university is easier” bullshit is petty and not constructive and honestly just rude. Princeton is lacking in a lot of things but if you’re not getting academic, career, or extracurricular support that you need, then there are resources you can find very clearly on campus.

[ecotone99]

[RF] Santino's Interview

Brisk October air ruffled the leaves on the trees and flowed between the towering buildings as Santino strutted down Market Street in the heart of San Francisco’s financial district. Men and women in suits littered the busy sidewalks as they paced hurriedly to work, but none looked quite as good as Santino did that cool morning. Sporting a fresh shave and haircut, a pressed navy blue suit with an equally blue tie and his polished Italian leather shoes, Santino looked and felt like the finest young professional the city had ever seen.

If there was every day on which Santino needed this confidence, it was today. In just one hour, he would head to the 31st floor of the tallest building on Market to interview for the sports agency firm he had longed to work for since his days as an undergrad slaving away at his legal studies coursework. Night after night he had worked tirelessly to assure his papers were perfect, leaving no t uncrossed or i undotted. When he wasn’t focusing on his coursework, he spent hours in the depths of the university library studying for the LSAT, a test he needed to ace in order to earn admission to a Top-14 law school. The remainder of his time was spent interning at a local court nearly an hour away from his off-campus apartment. Though the commute and workload exhausted him, he knew the experience he was gaining would give him a great leg up on the other applicants. Sure enough, he was right.

Through his hard work and dedication, Santino nailed the LSAT, maintained a perfect 4.0 GPA and earned himself an admission to the law school of his dreams.

Throughout his time in law school, he worked as hard as he ever had, excelling in his classes and spending hours on end interning for one of the most esteemed sports agents in the area. After graduating summa cum laude, he scored nearly perfect on the California Bar Exam and returned to the golden state where the air was warmer and the girls were prettier. After weeks and weeks of perfecting his resume and cover letter and gathering recommendation letters from his professors and employers, Santino submitted what had to have been the most robust application the firm had ever received. Then, he waited.

And he waited.

And he waited.

As morning turned to day and day turned to night, Santino incessantly watched his phone for any email or phone call from the firm. He even went as far as sleeping with his phone ringer on full blast at night, just in case they called him at one in the morning to schedule an interview.

With each passing day, Santino grew restless. It crossed his mind to submit other applications in the meantime, but he decided against it because he saw it as settling. Santino was the best candidate out there, and he would aspire for nothing but the best.

So he waited.

In order to preserve his sanity and keep his mind off the application, he had to find ways to occupy his time. Every morning at precisely 5:30a.m. he would wake up and prepare a breakfast consisting of two eggs over easy, one scrambled, three egg whites, two pieces of sourdough toast garnished with gluten-free margarine, a short stack of chocolate chip pancakes, a bowl of strawberry yogurt mixed with granola, two chicken-apple sausages and a bowl of Frosted Flakes, washed down with a cup-and-a-half of black coffee, two glasses of filtered water from his parents’ state-of-the-art Kitchenaid refrigerator and a smoothie consisting of a banana, two spoonfuls of Skippy super chunk peanut butter, twenty grams of vanilla protein powder, a cup of blueberries, exactly three strawberries and a light drizzle of organic honey. Once he finished his feast, he washed his dishes and headed straight out the front door and over to his local 24-Hour Fitness where he engaged in a rigorous workout regimen consisting of stretching, running on the treadmill, weightlifting, swimming and more stretching. When his workout was completed, he went back home to prepare his parents’ breakfast, which was the least he could do considering they were letting him live in their home rent-free. After his parents were fed and their dishes were cleaned, Santino would sit under the shady tree at the park down the street where he read classic literature, sipped on an iced green tea and let the summer breeze caress his skin. When he finished his reading, he headed back home, studied NFL and MLB statistics and practiced negotiating contracts based on those stats.

Santino usually finished these activities by one in the afternoon, at which point he would settle on the couch for a midday siesta.

The rest of Santino’s day was typically spent playing solitaire, making hip-hop beats for his friend José, reading the Bible, Quran, Talmud and The Book of Mormon, dominating online strangers in virtual chess, brushing up on his Southern Italian cooking skills and studying more sports statistics.

For a while, this laundry list of activities kept Santino preoccupied and did a fairly decent job of keeping his mind off his job application.

Until it didn’t.

After about the second day of this routine, Santino once again grew restless and was engulfed by anxiety.

Why haven’t they responded? he asked himself.

Did I sound too eager in my cover letter? Too cocky?

Do they not like Italians?

After days and days of insufferable torment, Santino had had enough. It was time to call the firm’s human resources department and ask if they had received his application. He had been reluctant to do so because he didn’t want to appear desperate. But at this point, he was desperate and had nothing to lose.

After finding the firm’s HR phone number, Santino poured himself a glass of room-temperature water to clear his throat and hit the “call” button. As the phone rang, he took a deep gulp of his water and repeated through his head, Sound confident; not cocky. Confident, not cocky.

“The Chang Corporation, this is Clarice. How may I help you?” asked an energetic voice on the other end of the line.

Caught off guard, Santino choked uncontrollably on his water and spit it all over himself.

“Uhh, hi!” he squeaked embarrassingly. “I mean, um, hello,” he stated in a forced tone much lower than that of his regular speaking voice. “My name is Santino Rigoli and I’m calling to inquire about the status of an application I submitted several weeks ago.”

“Okay, Mr. Rigoli,” Clarice responded. “Give me one second and I’ll pull up your application.”

Silence flooded the phone line and Santino nervously paced his kitchen floor, with each passing second looming like an eternity. What if the application hadn’t been received? Or worse, what if it had been received and they had simply discarded it?

“Well, Mr. Rigoli,” Clarice said after some time, “It seems we did receive your application and its status is listed as ‘Under Review.’ I’ll tell you what, though. I’m going to go ahead to transfer you over to DeSean Holman, who is one of our hiring managers, and he can give you further details on what to expect with your application from here on out.”

“Oh, wow!” Santino declared a little too excitedly. “Thank you so mu-

The line clicked and Santino was now listening to Country Roads, Take me Home, by John Denver. After fighting the urge to shout “West Virginia” about eight times, the music stopped and a strong voice took over the line.

“DeSean Holman, may I ask who’s calling?”

“Hello, Mr. Holman, my name is Santino Rigoli and I’m calling in regard to an application I submitted to your firm several weeks ago. I was just told by your receptionist that it was under review, bu-

“Well if you know it’s under review, then what more can I do for you at this time?” Mr. Holman asked impatiently.

“Um, I just wanted to se-

“You just wanted to see what was taking so long, is that right?” Holman asserted. “We have processes here, son, and you need to respect that. Business doesn’t get done at the snap of your fingers. It takes time, and you need to respect that and let us do our job as we see fit.”

Santino was shooketh, rattled like a snake. Before he could muster up the confidence to apologize for being too forward, Mr. Holman began speaking once more.

“But you know what, kid. I will say this: you got ambition. Too many kids your age, man, they’re complacent. They’re not hungry. They would have waited for months on end before we got back to ‘em. And if we didn’t? Oh well. And that’s the problem with you millenials; you expect stuff to come to you. But not you, Sanchito.”

“Santino,” he corrected him.

“That’s what I said, Dorito. But look, you’re not like those other kids. You’re hungry. You wanted something and you went for it, and that’s the type of ambition we’re looking for at this firm. And shoot, I have your resume right here in front of me, and I can tell you’ve got that ambition.”

In just a matter of seconds, Santino had gone from nearly throwing up to smiling like a priest in a boys’ daycare facility.

“I’ll tell you what, Sergio. We’re gonna bring you in for an interview. Tomorrow morning, 9 a.m. sharp. I want you in a full suit, tie and all. You come prepared with your resume, references and any other materials you find necessary. Check in with Clarice on the 31st floor and she’ll take you to Mr. Chang’s office where he’ll conduct your first round of interviews. Got it?”

Nearly in disbelief, Santino had to bring himself off Cloud Nine and confirm he understood the details of the interview. After thanking and saying goodbye to Mr. Holman, he hung up the phone and hurried to his room where he spent the next several hours preparing for his interview.

​

The next morning, Santino shot out of bed at promptly 5:37 a.m., downed two tall glasses of water, performed 50 consecutive push-ups and hopped in the shower. Once he was clean, he ate a banana, ironed his suit, shined his shoes, sytled his hair, brushed each individual tooth as if he were polishing Michelangelo’s “David” sculpture, gathered his interview materials and headed out the door.

He arrived at the West Dublin/Pleasanton BART station at 7:01 a.m. and boarded his train almost instantaneously. Scheduled to arrive in San Francisco’s financial district at 7:58, he was afforded nearly an hour to rehearse his prepared responses to any questions his interviewers might throw at him. Right on schedule, the train stopped and Santino deboarded and rode up the escalator to Market Street. Despite the plethora of spectacles and distractions Market had to offer, Santino was not fazed. He was in the zone, locked and loaded, ready to go.

Conveniently, the Chang Corporation’s office was located right next to the BART station and would take less than a minute for Santino to reach by foot. The problem, however, was that he was 57 minutes early. He didn’t want to check in with Clarice too early out of fear of seeming too eager, giving the impression that he was desperate. Of course, he was desperate, but that didn’t matter. What mattered is that he didn’t seem desperate.

As Santino thought of ways to kill some time, he remembered there was a Peet’s Coffee just around the corner of Market and 3rd Street. Suddenly he realized that in the midst of all his excitement that morning, he hadn’t even remembered to brew his morning cup of joe. Not that he needed the boost of energy, for his enthusiasm had him feeling plenty energized. Still, a little jolt of java couldn’t hurt, right? After all, he certainly looked the best he ever had, and he was willing to do whatever he could to feel his best too. So with his chest puffed out and his chin held high, Santino strutted down the sidewalk with a sexy swag and rounded the corner onto 3rd Street.

Immediately after rounding the corner, Santino collided into a careless woman who spilled a piping hot cup of coffee onto his white shirt and all over his face and hair. To make matters worse, she was holding a breakfast burrito that exploded all over Santino and drenched his clothes in bacon grease, avocado and copious amounts of Tapatio. With his mouth gaping in shock, Santino was overcome with horror and wore an expression that looked as if he had seen Harvey Weinstein.

“I… uh… you…” he stammered, desperately searching for words he could not find.

“What in the hell is the matter with you?” the woman yelled as if it wasn’t her inattentiveness that had caused the collision. “Flying around the corner like that, not watching where you’re going! This is unbelievable; I have to be at work soon!”

Still, Santino couldn’t find his words. Perhaps there were no words to express his despair.

“This is unbelievable,” the woman spat as she swiped away egg particles out of her long, black hair. “Unbelievable. How am I going to show up to the office like this?”

She continued her angry tirade as she stormed off into the sea of people and out of eyesight. Stunned, soaked and covered in filth, Santino stood hopelessly on the sidewalk as he watched her disappear.

This was how it ended. He couldn’t walk into his interview with coffee stains on his shirt and face with hot sauce and avocado smeared on his jacket all the way down to his shoes. He looked terrible, and he felt even worse. It wasn’t even 8:30 and all the clothing stores were still closed, so that threw out the possibility of him swapping out his wardrobe. This was the look Santino was stuck with, covered in grime from head to toe. Moreover, there was no way he could muster the confidence to conduct an interview now, at least not a decent one.

As he crouched into a seat on the cafe’s patio, Santino thought about all the steps he had taken to reach this point. All those hours spent in the university library studying for exams and mock trials. The sleepless nights spent reading and memorizing penal codes. The times he sold his belongings when he was short on rent. All the time and money spent on his commutes to his internships that paid little to no wages. So many sacrifices made, all for nothing.

“No,” Santino said softly. “This isn’t how I go down.”

Santino Rigoli was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a quitter. He thought back to those trying nights when his will was tested and his limits were pushed. Although giving up had crossed his mind several times, he had never seriously considered it. It wasn’t who he was. Santino was a go-getter. An ambitious and talented individual who always worked hard to achieve success. He hadn’t sacrificed years of his life and taken on tens of thousands of dollars of debt to be stopped by a little coffee stain and some egg yolk. He ate those problems for breakfast. No, Santino Rigoli was a competitor, and he was going to overcome this challenge just like he had overcome all the others. He had a story to tell, and it was time to start writing it.

Quickly, Santino got up out of his seat and hurried into the cafe to freshen up. He grabbed a handful of napkins out of the dispenser, dampened them under the bathroom sink faucet and began wiping away whatever food residue he could. The scalding coffee had left his face quite red and would perhaps later resemble a serious burn, but all he could do now was splash cold water on it and hope for the best. His hair was dampened and the gel he molded it with had nearly entirely lost its hold. Thankfully his Italian ancestors had granted him dark, sleek hair that looked stylish even when messy, so that was the look he was going to roll with.

When he finished freshening up, he still looked sloppy but at least he knew he had done the best he could. It was now 8:41 and he had to leave the cafe if he wanted to check in with Clarice exactly 15 minutes before his interview.

As he marched down Market, the autumn air cooled his singed face and the foliage on the trees glowed red and orange overhead. When he reached the building, he managed to secure an elevator all to himself, rode it straight to the 31st floor and approached Clarice at her desk.

“Hi, Clarice?” he began. “My name is Santino Rigoli, you and I spoke on the phone yesterday. I’m here for an interview with Mr. Chang.”

Clarice looked up from her appointment book and brushed her bushy hair back with her hands. “Mr. Rigoli, you’re here early,” she said with a tone of satisfaction. “Thankfully, Mr. Chang is…” She stopped her sentence once she noticed Santino’s appearance. Though she saw how dirty he looked, she decided against saying anything as not to hurt his confidence. Thankfully, she was quick enough that Santino didn’t notice. “Mr. Chang is ready to see you right now, so you won’t have to wait. Please follow me.”

With that, she arose from her seat and led Santino through the Chang Corporation’s office, which was a breathtaking space characterized by cool, earth tones and high ceilings.

“Will Mr. Holman be conducting my interview as well this morning?” Santino asked in a strong, professional tone.

“DeSean is actually out meeting with a client today,” Clarice responded. “He’s working on a big contract right now and felt his time would be best spent focusing on that. But let me tell you, DeSean was very impressed with the initiative you showed yesterday, and he made sure to let Mr. Chang know that.” Trying not to reveal too much excitement, Santino let out a half smile and expressed his satisfaction with a simple nod.

The two continued walking to Mr. Chang’s office in silence, and Santino couldn’t help but stare in awe of the facility as they passed through it. All along the walls were life-sized images of athletes represented by the firm. Record-setting contracts were framed on full display in the most visible places. To Santino’s left he saw a trophy case containing an NFL MVP award, two MLB Cy Young awards and an NBA Rookie of the Year award. To his right, he saw offices, state-of-the-art coffee machines, ping-pong tables, massage chairs, a weight room and a cafeteria that served gourmet cuisine ranging from smoked salmon to grilled bison. Straight ahead stood a gorgeous waterfall that fell from the ceiling down into a shimmering sapphire pool in which koi fish swam.

This is it, Santino thought. This is where I belong. I am going to work for the Chang Corporation.

Inspired, he envisioned himself working in one of the building’s offices, eating at fine restaurants with professional athletes and charging their meals to the company credit card, attending important sporting events and setting record-breaking contracts of his own.

It all starts with this interview, Santino told himself. This is going to be the best interview of your life.

“Okay, Mr. Rigoli, here we are,” Clarice said encouragingly when they approached a large pair of mahogany doors. “Mr. Chang,” she said as she knocked lightly on the door. “Santino Rigoli is here for his interview.”

“Ah yes!” sang an older gentleman’s voice from the other side of the door. “Please, Clarice, send him on in.”

“Well, Mr. Rigoli, best of luck to you,” Clarice smiled before she turned around and headed back to her desk.

Confident, not cocky, Santino reminded himself.

As he pushed the door open and stepped onto pristine cream-colored carpeting, he discovered Mr. Chang’s office was just as grandiose as the rest of the building. The ceilings arched high overhead and the walls were lined with wooden shelves holding dozens of knick-knacks ranging from collector’s edition baseball cards to decades-old bottles of wine. Mr. Chang’s fine mahogany desk sat approximately 20 feet from the room’s entrance. Cool and collected, Santino closed the door behind him and strided toward his interviewer.

“Mr. Rigoli,” Mr. Chang stood up, revealing his tall stature. “It’s a pleasure to have you here.” Although Chang was an older gentleman with gray-turning-white hair and a fair share of wrinkles on his face, he possessed a surprisingly strong frame and boasted the energy of a very young man.

“Please, Mr. Chang. Mr. Rigoli is my father. Call me Santino,” he responded charmingly.

“Well then, Santino,” Chang chuckled. “Go on ahead and have a se…”

Just as Santino was about to place the folder containing his resume on the desk and have a seat, Mr. Chang stopped his sentence and fixed his gaze on Santino’s shirt. He then moved his eyes from his shirt and scanned Santino’s entire torso and what he could see of his pants.

It’s okay, Santino thought. You knew this was gonna happen. Just play it cool and win him over with your confidence.

“I see you’re rather fixated on my attire, Mr. Chang,” he began. “I do hope you won’t call the fashion poli-”

“What in the hell are you wearing, son?” Chang asked in a tone full of disappointment. Santino’s stomach sank slightly.

“You see sir, I was ju-”

“You see? Yeah, kid, I do see. I see that you look like a wreck. What in the hell is the matter with you? Did you get into a food fight before you came over here?” Now rattled to his core, Santino knew he had to act fast.

“I, uh, I kn-know you see, sir. Th-the thing is, I-I-”

“I-I-I-I,” Chang mocked him. “I rolled around in the garbage before I came up here? I used coffee as cologne this morning and combed my hair with hot sauce? What in the hell is the matter with you?” Santino gulped. He was mortified beyond anything he could have imagined.

“Mi-Mister Chang, listen. I-”

“Listen? You’re telling me to listen? No, you listen to me, buddy. You come in here dressed like a slob, you can’t explain yourself and stammer like an idiot, and then you start barking orders at me in my own office? Do you know where you are, or who I am? This is the top sports agency in the world, and I am its founder and CEO. And you have the nerve to come into my office and tell me what do? No. No, I don’t think so.” Seeing his hopes and dreams burst into flames before his very eyes, Santino shook and stood silently, waiting for Chang’s wrath to come to an end.

“You know,” he continued. “This is the problem with you kids nowadays. You don’t have standards. You think that can just cruise to success without facing any trials or tribulations, that you can just enjoy the benefits of hard work without actually putting in the work.”

Santino felt as if his throat was closing. Rage and despair rose within him. Nothing Mr. Chang said had even remotely applied to him. Santino did put in the work, and he wanted to continue to work hard. If Mr. Chang would only hear him out.

“Sir, if you would please just let me spe-”

“No!” Chang barked furiously. “Don’t you dare interrupt me. You had your turn to speak, and you stuttered and insulted me. Now, I speak and you listen. I’ve seen kids like you before. You come in here acting like a hot shot with your fancy degree from this big-name school and act like that will serve as your free pass to do whatever you want to do. Well, guess what, pal? That’s not how it works here. You show up covered in filth, talking like you own the place and expected to get offered a job on the spot. Well it’s not gonna happen. I want you to get outta my office and escort yourself out of my facility, right now.” Chang looked on his desk and saw Santino’s folder. “And what’s this, your resume? Take it with you. I wouldn’t even be able to read it anyway because it’s probably soaked in coffee just like the rest of you. Get out.”

Santino sheepishly took the folder out of Chang’s hand, turned around and escorted himself out of the room without saying another word. On the way out, he thanked Clarice for showing him around and waited in silence for the elevator. Once outside, he walked down the steps leading to the BART station, boarded his train and headed back home.

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I bought a car from my parents and their insurance policy on the car is still being paid for. The car is insured with Allstate but my name is not on the policy, also the car registered in my name. Is the car still insured if I get into an accident? Am I covered if I get injured in the accident? Is the other driver covered if I am at fault? I just need to verify because my mother is saying everything will be perfectly fine because she heard from a friend of a friend who is an insurance agent (and we all know how well that goes, not). I think she's very wrong and I should get insurance ASAP.""

Motorcycle Insurance?

If i accidentally knock over my bike, will insurance cover that? if so, which coverage covers it?""

Car insurance quote before buying ?

Was thinking about buying a car (first car) just to run around in for a while before I actually buy a better one when im older but want to ask a question. When buying a car, should I get an insurance quote first, then buy ? Or should I just buy a car I like then think about sorting out insurance for it ?""

Health Insurance Now and Later?

I am married going on 2 years. We have decided that we do want children. I am looking at health insurance for myself and I was wondering if I just get health insurance including dental or do I need to go ahead and apply for pregnancy insurance before we even start trying to get pregnant? Are there any insurance companies who are better than others?

Do insurance companies still ask for written no claim proof when you insure your car online?

Do insurance companies still ask for written no claim proof when you insure your car online?

Motorcycle insurance full coverage!?

how much will it cost me? im 18 and im going to take the MSF course...my bike is a honda cbr 600rr 2005 i could i put my dad under my motorcycle? he is 50 and no tickets he had his m1 for like 10yrs but not no more i live in pomona,california 91766""

How much did your car insurance go up when your teen began to drive?

How much did it rise? Did they get their own car or did they drive yours? Did they have a good student discount? Did they take drivers ed (and get a discount)? Are they a boy or a girl? Anything Else? Thanks... Just trying to figure out how much ours is going to go up

Disability insurance?

Disability insurance?

What is the cost of motorcycle insurance?

I currently am looking into buying a yamaha v-star 650cc. I have been to the progressive website, but i do not wish to grant them access to pull my credit profile (just dont think its neccessary for quoting insurance). So now i am asking everyone. I will be 25 in August, I am married, and have an excellent driving record. Does anyone have an estimate price for full coverage insurance for Louisiana. Thanks.""

Insurance for a Mustang?

What do you think the average price of insurance would be for a 2002 V6 Mustang? I am 16, female, and this will be my first car. I'm also a full time high school student with excellent grades if that has an effect on the price.""

""How much, on average, would car insurance be raised if I added a 16 1/2 year old driver?

The vehicle would be an onld 1996 minivan.

Fastest car to insure cheaply?

hi. im 18 yrs old with only 1 yr's ncb. im looking for a car which is both cheap to insure, and fairly quick. any ideas what i should get?""

Can you have 2 different cars with different insurance?

my grandma bout a car for me, im only 15 so shes gonna give me the car when i turn 16 which is in january. she went down to L.a ( we live in california by the way) to buy the car with her nephew in law. shes 62 and half blind and doesnt have a license so she had to put the car in his name. but SHE paid for it. i told my mom and she was like if she wants to put the car in my her name she can. cuz me and my mom both know that her nephew in law could call up the police and say she stole his car, cuz the car is legally in his name and so is the insurance. and this man is very very crooked, he doesnt have a job and even steals money from his wife. he tried multiple times to steal the car so my grandma locks it in the garage. she even offered for him to buy the car off her for 300 dollars when she paid 1600 dollars but he wanted the car for free. now he is a...stupid man and he does not yet realize that he could call the cops and get the car easily so im trying to get this done as soon as possible. he aint paying for nothing on that car. im not worried that this man taking the car means i wont get a car. im worried that he might cheat my grandma, and that just doesnt site with me. he seems to catch and attitude with her when im not around but when im their i dont here no problems. so can i my mom get the car in her name with two different insurance providers and can the insurance still be in his name but the car in my moms name. and what if he refuses to sign it over can we still get the car. im sorry i had to air out my dirty laundry but i needed to release this anger""

Car insurance company discriminate against me because I was not born in the UK?

I had a quote for car insurance through a well-known national company. They were aware I had a UK licence for 5 years and had no convictions, claims etc. I rang and spoke to a representative and she confirmed the quote. The following day I decided to accept and called them. We went through my information and the agent said, so you were born in the UK? I said no, I am a UK citizen but I was born abroad. The quote then went up by 200 !!!! I took issue and spoke to a manger who said this was legitimate when I told him I was certain it was illegal since the only information that had changed was my place of birth, he eventually said he would honour the original quote. I then bought the policy with a one-off payment. Insurance is a racket and I don't think they should be alllowed to get by with this. Does anyone know anything about this and what can be done next to make sure it doesn't happen to other people?""

Will this effect my car insurance?

I got pulled over and ticketed for an outdated inspection sticker and a light being out. I've been ticketed before, but the ticket was thrown out in court. I was wondering if this will effect my car insurance at all. I live in Massachusetts. I think it counts as a moving violation but i think they let you off on your first offence.""

Do I have to tax a car if it is insured? I know that you HAVE to insure a car if it is taxed.....?

What I know. You have to tax your car unless you do a SORN. If you have done a SORN you don't have to pay car tax or even insure your car if you don't want to. If you don't intend to drive your car but it has car tax then your car HAS to be insured by law. But what about the other way round ...? If you have a car insured but it is in the garage and you never intend to drive it, for example it is a collectors item, do you HAVE to tax it? I can find on the net yes you have to insure your car if it is taxed but cannot find confirmation either way whether you HAVE to also have your car taxed if you never intend to drive it but you do want it insured. If someone confirms that it doesn't have to be taxed, could you provide details of where you found this information so that I can obtain a copy for my records please? Many thanks Lisa""

Why is health care so expensive?

All this talk about health care lately and no one seems to be asking the obvious question - *why* does it cost a ridiculous amount? People blame the insurance carriers, who I think ...show more""

How much do i have to pay for my insurance? i just got my license!?

im 17 years old. i don't know my credit score. i got my license 1 week ago. and i dont have a car i am going to drive my moms kia sedona 2004. and i want to have infiniti insurance thats what my parents have please help me out?

Question about buying a car without insurance?

Hey everyone, I need answers without criticism as Im new to this and know as much as you did when you bought your first car. I live in Texas and I have my learners permit but will get my license in around a month or so. We found a great deal on a car I love, and my parents want to buy it. However, as I said, I dont have my license yet, therfore, I dont have insurance. I was wondering, if my parents want to buy the car and keep it at home in the garage until i get my license and can get insurance, how would it work from the moment I buy the car until I drive it home. My parents have full-cover insurance with State Farm in both their cars, each pays their own insurance, would their insurance cover a second (technically third) car? What would be the step to take? How can I drive the car in peace without being nervous about getting pulled over or something? Please no rude answers, im trying to do things right, thus im here asking, Thanks""

I'm 16 years old and looking for a cheap scooter(ped) or scrambler...how much is the insurance on them. :-)

how much about i know you can get a quote but you have to enter all your bikes infomation and i havent got a bike yet... if its to much money ill just save up for a car. i just need something to get back and forth to work

How to calculate insurance quotations?

i want to know how insurance quotations are prepared?is there any software to prepare such quotations?what are the factors to be taken into account to prepare such quotations?

Why is my Car insurance so high?

I'm 18 and live on my own, so the insurance is under my name NOT my parents. That's already a reason why it would be higher. But im paying 620 dollars a month, its getting ridiculous to keep up with. Everyone I tell is shocked at how high it is. I've never been in an accident or traffic violation. But when I got the insurance a couple of other places quoted me 900 dollars a month! so 620 dollars is cheap? Also when i got the insurance I was unemployed, and everytime I got a quote I would have to tell them I didn't have a job. Would this be Why its so high?""

How much will my car insurance be? 17 year old male?

I have been waiting forever to hear back from the insurance company with my quote and it got me curious on how much the average is for a 17 year old male who does not have the best grades but has a clean record and never been in any sort of trouble. I understand you cant know this from just guessing but I was just looking for some estimates so I had an idea on how much to safe for. Thank you to who ever answers!

Anyone know any cheap car insurance?

Im just trying to save a little money.

How much would lowering my mileage by 5k save me in california?

So being a teenager(19) and a male with a ticket I'm paying around 900 for insurance. Tickets my fault I accept the punishment. However, I switched jobs and After calculating distance I'm only going to be driving around 5000 miles rather than the 10 on my insurance. Just kind of curious how much the mileage drop could save me since my insurance agency isn't being much help.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/does-anyone-know-how-much-car-insurance-cost-underage-harper/"

[thoughtfulmindings]

rant: ugh

Okay, so I haven’t really written a post describing my law school experience yet. To be honest, I’m not really sure why as there’s a multitude of reasons. Some of them being: I wasn’t sure if I wanted to document my law school experience solely in a hand-written diary or on tumblr or in both mediums, I assumed that writing a post would mean that I’d be wasting valuably study time, and finally, I just felt that I could possibly jinx myself by writing about it on tumblr. I know the last reason isn’t very logical, but it was what it was. Anyways, so I finished my first semester back in December and now I’m in my second semester. At this point, although I still do share many of the same reasons listed above, I’m going to write down a post on my feelings on law school anyway. I just really feel the need to write and just solely hand-writing my feelings isn’t working for me right now. So let’s begin. 

1. I’m not really sure how I feel about law school or becoming a lawyer anymore. The longer I stay in law school, the more I miss my gap year. I miss making money. I miss knowing what was expected of me. I miss being able to know exactly what to do. I miss freely asking questions without feeling dumb or annoying. I miss being confident about my work. I miss just feeling content.

2. Actually, maybe content might be the wrong word. I am sort of content. I have a really great group of friends. Which is actually surprising. I mean, I had figured that I’d make friends, but I hadn’t figured how close my friendships would end up being or how much I would enjoy the company of my friends. They’re all great people. But they’re not the only great people either. My other classmates are fantastic people too. I feel so happy whenever I think of all the fantastic people I’ve met. 

3. But that’s kind of the only good thing about law school; the only silver lining I guess you could say. I’m not a fan of everything else. And actually, if I’m being honest, sometimes my friends contribute to this feeling of unhappiness and dissatisfaction I have too. It’s not like they actively do anything to make me feel this way -- it’s really just me being self aware and my insecurities creeping out. All the people I’ve met are just so wonderfully talented and smart and fantastic. I adore them. But I’m also low-key jealous of them. I wish I could be half as talented and smart. 

4. I mean, I know I’m not entirely stupid, but I’m definitely average. However, due to my own self-destructive nature, procrastination, and lack of motivation and passion, I come across as below-average rather than the average I am. I consistently perform worser than them on papers and exams and I know it’s because I don’t put in half the amount of effort they do. It frustrates me so much to see how careless and little effort I put into my studying. I barely brief cases well enough, rarely figure out the right ratios, and never really manage to stay on-top of all my readings/ assignments. 

5. Actually, the assignments issue is the worst. I have literally been doing all my assignments last minute. Like, I don’t even know why. I read the cases and then let the assignment sit for a week. And then I begin the assignment literally a day or two before its due. And then when I hand it in, I feel unhappy with the work I’m submitting because I know it could be better. But then even though I have this knowledge, I don’t use it. I still consistently do assignments last minute. And my profs know this too! I get super horrible marks whenever it comes to any sort of take-home written work. 

6. And it’s even more frustrating because this was not how I was in university. I have always been on top of writing papers. My entire degree was me writing papers. But now, I can’t even do that! It’s so fucking ridiculous, it pisses me off and makes me hate myself. Like even in undergrad, when I had 3 papers in a week due, I would almost ALWAYS have the first two papers researched and planned out in advance. And the research would be legit research from a number or sources and compiled through tons of close reading of texts. So when it came to writing, I would be good. 

7. But for some reason, I’m not doing this at law school and I don’t understand why! Forget about planning and researching the papers earlier, I don’t even do a close reading of any of the texts! I literally just skim and then find quotes to support my ideas -- which is fucking insane! You’re NOT supposed to write papers like that. That’s bad paper writing. You’re supposed to research in depth and then use the sources to back up your ideas -- not the other way around! And yet, I can’t stop doing this! Can’t stop doing shit the wrong way, even while knowing it’s wrong! And it makes me furious! 

8. This was especially evidential in my most recent factum assignment. Like I read some other ones and they were so much better than mine! Their case quotes were so thorough and great and well thought out. Whereas mine were shallow and didn’t even relate! And I knew this too! But even then I was too lazy to change it! I procrastinated writing my paper too so I didn’t even have time to edit/ rewrite it a better way! And it’s infuriating! I’m paying for this shit and not even doing it properly! 

9. Which makes me introspect my behaviour. And I think the reason I’m acting this way, is because I’m over law school. I don’t think I want to do it. I’ve been saying this to others in a joking manner, but I don’t think I’m joking. I just literally don’t want to do law school. I don’t like doing the readings. I don’t like going to class. I don’t like discussing the cases. I don’t like taking notes. And I sure as hell don’t like writing papers. I honestly hate ALL of it. 

10. And it’s frustrating because it wasn’t supposed to be this way. I wasn’t supposed to hate it. I was supposed to love it. I worked so hard for this. I said this was my dream for years. I fought for it. And now that I’m here, I can’t stand it. Just thinking of the fact of going to school, doing my readings, and all of my assignments makes me annoyed. But that’s wrong! I’m supposed to be happy and excited to do this! 

11. I mean, truth be told, I was always a little iffy about law school. Somewhere in university, I lost my ambitious edge. I didn’t care about having the best career or making the most money or even contributing to society in a big way. I just wanted to live life happily, freely, and with the people I loved. If I could make an impact in their lives, I was happy. I didn’t need anything more. But my parents really really really wanted law school. So I figured why not. 

12. Plus when I took that constitutional cases seminar in my fourth year of university, I was genuinely excited. I read almost every single case and took super detailed notes. I was into it. So I figured I’d be into law school too. The class was all about reading cases and their effect. Which is basically law school. And yet, I don’t feel the same way about it. I literally dread doing my case readings. Which is horrible because law school is literally all case readings. 

13. I just really miss political science weirdly enough. I mean, I tried my hand in the political sphere and found that I wasn’t a fan of that environment. But I still miss formally studying it so much. I have two classes that I’m low-key really interested in: Charter and Transnational Law. And the only reason I like them, especially the latter, is because of their relation to political science. But like I said, this doesn’t make sense because I wasn’t made for the political scene. 

14. I don’t know man. I just feel so demoralized and over it all. And the worst part is, I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore. The older I get, the less confident I get and the more confused I am about who I am. What are my defining characteristics? What is my personality? Do I even have any skills? 

15. And law school just brings these questions to the fore-front even more. I have no idea what I’m doing here. I feel like I’m blindly just trying to float. And I’m looking to other people to see what they are doing. But then looking at them stresses me out even more because everyone seems so focused. Everyone is applying to jobs, reading and briefing each case significantly and performing admirable. And in comparison, I’m literal shit, the lowest of the low.  

16. That’s why they actually tell you -- when you enter law school, to stay in your own lane. To only look to what you’re doing. But it’s so hard because I don’t know what I’m doing. Like I said, I’m literally blindly trying to float. I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t know how to swim. I don’t know when it’ll end, or even if it will end. I just feel so lost. 

17. And that’s when I begin thinking that maybe I should change some of my study habits. Maybe getting better grades would make me feel better and not so lost anymore. So maybe study more at school. Maybe study less on my bed. Maybe try to study on a desk. Maybe try to break the study routine I’ve gotten used to while being in school. 

18. But that itself brings up feelings of panic. I have had a set way of studying for years. I’ve literally always studied by myself, on my bed, without any prodding or influence from anyone else. The last time I changed up my habits was for my first ever LSAT and the first semester of my fourth year of undergrad. I actually studied at school more, used tables/ desks instead of my bed. And the results were less than optimal. Got a much lesser LSAT score than expected and lowered my GPA too. 

19. So I’m afraid that if I change my ways, the same thing that happened last time will happen here. I’ll have lowered my already low GPA. I’ll do worser than expected and screw over my future chances at getting a job or being a successful lawyer. 

20. The upcoming exams I have in April are the last resort. They’re potentially worth 100%. So if I mess up on them, there is no going back. These exams are what employers look at. So my fears aren’t just irrational anymore, they’re legitimate. Changing up my routine might backfire on me again like it did last time. 

21. But then I think about the fact that there were other factors involved when I changed my routine last time. I was going from classes three times a week to classes five times a week. I was going from having four classes a week with no other big commitments, to taking on the huge responsibility of studying for the LSAT. I was also more involved in my community as I was part of an exec so I had less time too. So maybe it wasn’t just the fact that I changed my routine that made me receive those low results. Maybe it was a combination of that and other factors. 

22. But then again, I did have a significant change in GPA in the first and second semester of my fourth year. I reverted back to my old study habits and my GPA went up almost 6%. But then again, in second semester, I also didn’t have the added pressure of the LSAT, aside from the first month of second semester. I also only had classes twice a week, giving me three days off. So maybe it wasn’t just my old study habits that contributed to this? But also the change in other factors? 

23. But maybe this is just me ignoring reality and trying to convince myself of lies like I often do. Maybe it wasn’t the other factors and maybe it just was the change in study habits. So then maybe I shouldn’t change my study habits. Maybe I should stick with what I know and what I did in first semester of law school. 

24. Honestly, even just thinking along this line makes me so angry. I should’ve been thinking these things in my first semester of law school. Everyone told me that if there was a time to experiment with study habits, it was in the first semester of law school as it didn’t completely count for marks. But nope, I didn’t do that and instead stubbornly stuck to my old habits and ignored the advice.��

25. This is exactly what I mean when I say I’m self-destructive. I constantly shoot myself in the foot. All of my problems are caused by me -- literally 99% ARE. I’m behind on some readings because I was lazy to do them on time. I’m behind on some assignments because I just didn’t do them until it was too late. I’m getting bad marks because I don’t put enough effort. Literally, it’s all ME. I’m the cause for my own misery and I hate myself for it. 

26. And this is all because of law school. Because I sure as hell didn’t hate myself as much as I do right now during my gap year. Sure I felt quite horrible when I didn’t have a job, but when I did have one, I felt good. I knew what I was doing (sometimes). I knew I had some skills and that I was appreciated. I knew that I would get a reward for my efforts -- my salary. I knew what to expect (most of the time). But I don’t have ANY of that here. I literally have nothing except self-loathing. 

[living-in--and--learning-blog]

Week 4 - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

This past week being on a Habitat Trip made me limited in my ability to check in with another co-worker so I used the Willingness and Action Plan (the last page) since I had printed it off to complete during my few hours of downtime last week. I have done so much goal-setting before that focuses on specific action plans and steps that are needed to get to an end goal. Usually I don’t incorporate emotions into them so this was beneficial to me to think about goals with a holistic approach. 

The Willingness and Action Plan (Harris, 2009)

My goal is to (be specific):  To graduate my Master’s Program with honors

The values underlying my goal are:  School and having success has always been very important to me but has never come easy. I have always had to work really hard for the grades I earned and in undergrad, I had a hard time keeping up with the prestige of my institution. For a long time I feel like I had failed myself because my GPA was so much lower than what I had earned in high school. When I was admitted to UWLAX I was shocked because I thought my GPA would hinder my ability to go on and earn my Master’s with my past GPA. Granted I was admitted on probation but I can proudly say I have earned a 4.0 this far in the program. 

The actions I will take to achieve that goal are (be specific): I will continue spending a minimum 2.5 hours of studying each night. I will continue focusing on homework before my social life. 

The thoughts/memories, feelings, sensations, urges I’m willing to make room for (in order to achieve this goal):

•Thoughts/memories:  I remember applying and not hearing anything from UWLAX for a few weeks and I was nervous about not getting in. Then there was an email request from Adele to talk on the phone for an interview. After that the next memory was getting in. The next memory was getting an A in the first class. 

•Feelings:  The excitement I felt when I was admitted! It was a rush of accomplishment and fear of failing. I was so proud and excited when I received my first A that the hard work was paying off. 

•Sensations:  ?? not sure

•Urges:  Wanting to push myself even harder even when work gets hectic. 

•It would be useful to remind myself that:  I’m not going to be perfect and I might not get a 4.0 but if I do my best I can still prove to myself that I am work the honors I might earn. 

•If necessary, I can break this goal down into smaller steps, such as:   Finish all readings each week. 

•The smallest, easiest step I can begin with is:   Doing all my readings and posting to the best of my ability every day. 

•The time, day and date that I will take that first step, is: Be done my Monday nights by 9:00 pm. 

I also really liked the page on ways to get present. I’m planning on using this for my RAs this week!

Harris, R. (2009). ACT Made Simple. Retrieved from: https://uwlax.courses.wisconsin.edu/d2l/le/content/3560101/viewContent/21940873/View.