#i found this through pokemon though and not K-pop and i feel like i need to aggressively state this

[beaversatemygrandma]

Omg. So yesterday. I got a haircut, okay? Just a usual day. Well, after staring at my pokemon trainer in scarlet for long periods of time and realizing that her haircut would TOTALLY work for me, i went back into the clothes menu and looked at what the cut was called. The 2-Block haircut. And i was like “sick, this is cool” and i googled it to see what it looked like irl. 

Well, I have come to learn that this specific haircut is super popular in Korea and Japan for men. Mostly because of K-Pop. Everything i was looking up was saying “Look like your favorite K-Pop boy!” or “(insert some boy band here) and their perfect hair!” And I’m just cringing internally regretting this idea entirely. I mention this to both my dad and the guy I’ve been talking to lately and both of them were very confused as to what i was talking about. Both of them saying something along the lines of “Trust me, you’re the only one who will know this. I have No Clue what you’re talking about.” And so, I was set on getting this cut.

I walk into the shop, i show the woman cutting my hair the pic and I’m sitting there in this Blurryface 21 Pilots sweater that deadass has Korean lettering on it and regretting my choice of easy to take off in case of extra itchy hair shirt. I set myself up for this. Oh God. I look like a Koreaboo don’t I? I tell the hairdresser that I found this but sadly it’s associated with K-Pop boy bands even though i don’t like that stuff, and i think i could pull it off in a feminine way. And she looks over it as this older woman with a lovely high undercut and short hair and says “Oh yes, this totally could work.” Also, likely having no earthly idea what i was talking about with K-Pop. She gets it done with a lot of questions about exactly where the undercut ends and if i wanted the hair over the cut or angles, and mostly to prevent it from turning into the weirdest bowl cut. And well, She Pulled It Off Perfectly.

There i was, my hair kinda greasy and flat because i hadn’t showered that morning due to a lack of time and So Damn Happy it looked good. This doesn’t even show the Nice Shaved underpart. The flat hair WORKED.

Now, the day wasn’t over yet. The newest branch of the local international store had finally opened up and it’s closer to my house than the other one. So, me wanting those specific seaweed chow mien noodles and some lychee drinks, I Went. Now, this was perfectly normal. Gathering my random Taiwanese and Korean noodles and snacks and drinks. Great haul. I got the Good Shit. And then i started looking around at the other customers. I CANNOT EXPLAIN JUST HOW MANY PEOPLE IN THERE HAD THIS HAIRCUT. I look over at the this old Asian man. Same haircut. I look to this 15 year old flipping out about the sheer selection of ramen. SAME HAIRCUT. This 20-something white guy with pink hair who seems to be exactly what i was avoiding looking like. SAME Cut. ANOTHER OLD GUY. SAME CUT. And I’m just screaming internally. All of these people were obviously east Asian, speaking Korean and Chinese and all. And I’m just there, thinking “Fuck. I made a mistake.” I mentioned this to my dad on the way out. We had been standing being this guy who was in his 60s who had the same haircut in line. (his hair was dyed this interesting shade of ginger tbh, i actually liked that cut. Looked great, but the shaved spots uncovered some liver spots.) Well, my dad hadn’t noticed this even though i saw it like 10 times. And I’m just there like, “I probably pull this off better.” I do. Most of them were old people trying to look young. I mean, good on them, it’s a good damn cut. I have respect for that ginger-haired grandpa.

And then we get to when i finally washed it properly and my hair poofed back up and i didn’t seem to remember that my hair is Super Thick and Voluminous and i cannot escape the fluff.

I also tried a middle part. I stared at it for like a solid 30 seconds before flipping my part again because i looked just like that one K-Pop boy that I See EVERYWHERE. Jumin or something. Idk his name. Starts with a J though. Ugly middle part with that heavy bowl cut over an undercut vibes. I hate his hair tbh. I’m thinking this is something I could actually use gel in and get a further left part or even just flatten those bangs because holy shit they stand up FAR because of a cowlick. I got a natural Fwoop. It’s like that. It just does that. I love it normally, but with this I’m debating on flattening it.

Also, this is totally the start of me growing the top hair long and continuing to shave down the bottom. I will eventually have that great versatile fauxhawk going on. But for now. This is sadly associated with K-Pop and such and I’m still internally screaming.

Anyways, that’s the story of how I got a 2-Block haircut. I’m still adjusting to making this more of a personal look instead of All That.

[amieyhko]

Escapril 2019

escaprilday 2019 // 1: a fresh start

two Costco bags full of

umma-certified clean clothes,

“unpacking cannot begin with wet clothes”

Taipei humidity is unkind.

coins clink,

white noise revs

drowning out the drizzle

as heart somersaults

to the rhythm of the cycles:

what — tum — am I — ble

doing — tumble — here?

the darks tumble its final spin

as the lights

click —

into a stop.

a whiff into a warm towel

warns me the comforts of home,

promising

of munchies, blankies, and speedy wifi

of cushy floor space where crafting

and writing past midnight can be done in secret

but —

fold — maybe — toss — I changed —

yellow blouse — or gave up too easily —

fold — or could it be —

toss — I’m listening to all the wrong voices? —

red turtleneck — no — flick —

wait, this is so soft now, I guess the washing machine in that guest house in Seoul was indeed really terrible —

fold — yes, this is how it should feel on my skin —

toss – my heart knows, though —

fuzzy sock — maybe home is where I need to be right now —

into basket — there’s nothing wrong with —

grab — starting over again.

escaprilday 2019 // 2: april showers

you said all memorable moments

include an unexpected deluge

I nod and laugh

as the metro ac pierces through

my drenched jacket

I shiver as I feel my clammy socks

cling onto my not-rainproof Docs

("they're not?" you ask in shock)

ears ringing still

from speakers booming

throat scratchy from scream-singing

at the top of our lungs.

still, you smile, shiver, and say,

with half-dazed eyes,

all good memories

end in rain.

escaprilday 2019 // 3: incorporate music

“Hope I’m not tired of rebuilding”

at this in-between

this time of heating up lukewarm lattes

and microwaving soggy french fries,

a surrendering of old and new

kindles a familiar tune:

“not what’s easy, what do you want?”

at this in-between,

the seconds between a squat and a jump

or the hours during an endless free fall,

a whisper sings an awakening:

“even a phoenix dies”

so at this in-between

muster up the strength to

inhale blue

and exhale gold.

escaprilday 2019 // 4: anxiety

lacuna

¡amiga!” he chimes like clockwork

with a sonrisa that has probably charmed plenty of hearts.

my fist bumps his and I walk toward the dark halls

where they tilt their heads forward and say

“안녕하세요” they grin,

some fake, others genuine,

mostly muscle memory.

“哈咯“ she greets as I turn the corner—

a sound of familiarity.

the velcros on my lips finally relax

till we part ways to our stations

“how are you?” their words flow dry

they probably don’t want to find out

my tongue lands on one syllable:

“good”.

escapril 2019 // 5: back to nature

I’ve a secret spot for seeing stars in Taipei City.

after a day downtown,

blasting my headphones at damaging decibels,

fixing makeup with samples at drugstores,

and chasing after buses,

I skip down the announced “platform two for Taipei Zoo”

and gaze down at the light show stage named Zhongxiao Fuxing.

as the red greens, a rush of headlights streams at me—my eyes

lose focus, my heart

leaps back into my chest just as

the home-bound metro approaches.

//

I’ll always remember the yard at Tiszavasvári

where we lay to see a starry night drawn by the Creator

after a day of listening to screaming children,

braiding their hairs,

and chasing after the impossible ones,

we stood in awe, jaws dropped, then soon learned

our necks weren’t strong enough

so we lay down, evening breeze

accompanied by the crickets sang a lullaby—

my eyes played a senseless game

of connect-the-dots, my heart skipped several beats

as I let go of the memories of beds and blankets.

escapril 2019 // 6: nostalgia

missing you is easy.

remembering you creeps

up in little mundanities

like a cup of fruit tea

a bottle of Clorox

or an inappropriately loud laughter--

to my consolation, yours is unmatchable.

although,

the sound of your laughter rings

quieter

till I can whisper:

escapril 2019 // 7: start with a time of day

3 a.m.

why wait

for dawn when

we can set yesterday

up

in flames

over this river?

escapril 2019 // 8: love poem

I cannot recall the exact words uttered

but something in my heart fluttered:

our eyes met for a millisecond

we cracked, till our breaths weakened.

our words, lost in the waves

transformed into safes

I open in my heart of hearts

to feel at home within the laughs of your loves.

escapril 2019 // 9: focus on the color

chorok hadn't found its form in

korean of old. fields of

grass and evergreens,

little plates of herbal banchan,

lush of summers,

and squirming caterpillars

all existed as paran-- that same

color ascribed to vast oceans,

and sunny skies

then one lively spring, chorok

creeped its way into our tongues,

demanding to be seen on

street signs,

the mountain tops, and

cross walk lights

though some still speak "the light

turned paran",

and the incorrigible children's tune

singing of spring

blossoming into paran,

chorok sprouts an entrance

undeniable to out naked eyes.

escapril 2019 // 10: femininity

the bus,

back slides down on the uncomfortable bus seat,

fingers stroke through my freshly buzzed head,

while many eyes fixate above my eyes,

asking:

"is she a boy or a girl?"

"is she a lesbian?"

"what happened to her… hair?"

eyes read their faces,

mouth struts a big yawn with no reflex system telling me to conceal it.

imagination floats to a stadium,

feet stands on the podium,

voice declares:

I'm still so-very-much a lady--

just not fair like Audrey,

nor dainty like a stereotype,

or as brave as Joan,

and definitely not as attractive than most

but maybe more like

the ones writing history

now.

escapril 2019 // 11: not from your perspective

most of the time I sit beside the maroon sofa

where you watch tv and transform into a potato

I wait and wait for that sweet moment

you grab my handle

travel me to a flat desk

wind me up with thread

hook me up to a pedal

switch my light on

smooth out a piece of fabric

pinned up in zig zag

then

zoom, crackle, buzz,

your hands sync to my rhythm

you pray I don’t jam

or break your thread

then you announce with pride

“et voila!”

escapril 2019 // 12: spring cleaning

it takes two countries

few cities

thirteen houses

fifteen boxes

thirty trash bags

and an infinite repetition of

"do we need this?"

for a soul to grasp the spider web line

between a desire and a necessity.

then a decade teaches the

same soul

sometimes,

spectrums soften

escapril 2019 // 13: celestial bodies

if only

seeing you was as easy as

some nightly glow at your half

reflecting off

a big blazing ball of light on my half

escapril 2019 // 14: make it rhyme

a sonnet-full of embellishments, fake

notions of how lovely you are like some

weather in summer or spring, homemade cake

that tastes like cheap flour and rotten eggs, numb

from clichés, the love songs that never shut

up, posed photos of arms around my waist,

a let-me-take-that gentleness, so what

are you doing? leaving sour aftetaste

in our hearts. no, this sonnet is not for

us. we don’t need guidelines to fall in love,

nor the recipes known to prevent war

(it cannot be all fair in war and love),

so stop. steep in this silence as your hand

finds mine in this complicated quicksand.

escapril 2019 // 15: describe a smell

a dash of prickliness:

prickly, like appa’s beard attacking my forehead as he plants a kiss.

then an overwhelming sense of saltiness:

salty, like that time I accidentally used the spoon side of the seasoning bottle

or tasting my own sweat or tears.

something rotting at slow decay.

fruit flies feast.

my nose shoots me back to

halmoni yelling something in dialect, umma replying.

I stand in the middle of the market square, I’m ten.

they promised me jjajangmyeon,

my nostrils can hold out just a minute more.

escapril 2019 // 16: any dreams?

five—

I was to be a Pokemon trainer by day

and Sailor Moon by night

but adults hung my creativity dry

seven—

a singer-songwriter

but music chose me not

ten—

fashion designer,

draw designs, sew coutures, walk the runway myself

but whispers yelled discouragements

fifteen—

couldn’t care: I was a realistic teen

now—

I tip-toe about my heart

trying my best not to pick on scabs,

unable to answer any questions

albeit an I-don’t-know

has never sounded more

comforting and clear.

hear the wounds heal

to the beat of the unicorn hooves.

escapril 2019 // 17: body as friend or foe

I was born in Guatemala,

but my father’s from Georgia

he’s a musician, he produces

K-pop albums and we travel the world

searching for the next big deal,

my mother paints apples, she’s from Zimbabwe

she also writes Chinese poems.

It’s all true—

my body deceives every bit of reality within me.

escapril 2019 // 18: a happy place

hear nose tickle

with the sound of lavender feathers

fluttering by

eyes will open up to inhale

the golden hours spent

under Your glorious dance

escapril 2019 // 19: without your name, who are you?

if an utterance of a name

can form a heart,

her name has been called by many

if each spoken word forms

a vibration into what we are,

she's a someone

whispered into a myriad of paradoxes:

she's an asteroid, crashing fast,

uncontrollable, unexpected.

she's a cup of tea, calm,

idle, ready for nothing.

escapril 2019 // 20: a liminal space

this amorphous ground feels comfortable,

excuses acceptable:

the excruciating humidity,

drowsy rain, busy friends,

false pride, miscalculating time.

they say:

Prufrock measures his life in coffee spoons,

but Zeno says nothing ever reaches its destinations.

the Knight holds his tongue

yet his heart flutters a violent beat.

I’m just another contra, letting my feet skip away

as each step echoes heart beating somewhere

back.

escapril 2019 // 21: it’s the end of the world

no zombie apocalypse,

the sun still functions,

stars are still, hearts

unbroken, no one

escaping to Mars,

no fatal goodbyes.

one silent pink noise

a purple glow,

“welcome back home”

it said.

escapril 2019 // 22: nourishment

last month, I met a little

potted plant.

I took it back to my little

suffocating room

and named it little

foggy star.

I loved it little

by little

I gave it little

droplets of water,

spoke little

words of compliment,

took it to my little

window sill

the sun peeped through

a little.

it grew a little,

I did too.

escapril 2019 // 23: when the party’s over

recollect spilled laughters —

this, for unworthy jokes,

that, for suave comments,

maybe one for someone dreamy —

bottle them up,

keep them fresh

for the next sea of

stragglers,

mutual someone,

you-look-quite-nice,

wow-so-interesting.

escapril 2019 // 24: liar, liar

how to be a compulsive liar

one: disregard empathy, embrace despondency, think selfish,

my life doesn’t have to tell truth tales, no one needs to know.

two: rehearse recollections, think practicality, use names they’d never check,

let myself believe in each detail, each sight, smell the scenario

three: speak the perfectly fabricated phrases into existence,

no need to bat an eye, stutter a detail, overthink a loophole.

for example: “yeah, the party was fun. we walked around the park afterwards.

who? oh no, he wasn’t there. he had an important family dinner.”

four: remember the lie, inform reliable partners in crime if necessary,

never bring it back, stick to your guns.

promise yourself: they can’t hurt, they’ll never know.

remember: truths hurt, they’re inconvenient, it’s none of their business.

dig: until your shovel breaks.

drown out: every kindness the world has to offer.

die: in the said dug hole, climb out just to

repeat: until trust is a pair of cracked glasses, refuse to see a redemption until

die again: learn that these walls must go —

invite: the uncomfortableness that is vulnerability

repeat: until system reboots.

escapril 2019 // 25: pick an animal

my giraffe friend

shades me when the sun’s high

and warms me when the wind’s rough,

meeting her eyes pains me with

an aching neck,

she will always stand tall in a room,

there’s no shelf too high for me,

when she’s close by.

escapril 2019 // 26: girlhood, boyhood, childhood

when I was older, I had a pair of

very pink sneakers

they'd glitter in the sun,

glamoured in gemstones for dignity

velcros loud enough to turn heads

when it was time to take them off

I glanced over my neighbors' shelves:

ugly. blue. brown. ugly. mine trampled over all.

then my eyes stood silent

as I zone in

on her pair of Gundam sneakers

secretly jealous, mostly confused,

extremely frustrated of rule-breaking

girls, defying pink, watching animation

for boys only

now, I wear boring black or white shoes

so do most humans with feet.

escapril 2019 // 27: the state of it all

“you're it!”

a harmless push from their arms

my chest thrusts back

limbs under a spell

all bones removed

“catch me if you can”

why don't you save me

'cause you can?

escapril 2019 // 28: reflection

memories retraces a blur

crooked smile

red dye fading

cigarette between your fingers

standing mostly on your right leg--

you let out a puff as i tell you “i’m imaginary.”

you say you couldn't have

so i tease you more with a kiss

“that wasn't real

that was you imagining it all

new school

a manic pixie

the loneliness got to your brains

that's all”

you flick away the cigarette

eyes reflecting my face

you kiss me back and say

“please don't do this to my brain

you're real

far too real for me i'm not smart like that”

i snicker

the buzzing bus terminal is real

you and i are real

but i'm not

you're no more

escapril 2019 // 29: may flowers

she died a few days ago—

flew off the rooftop

fallen against teeming

reborn lives

the most beautiful of flowers

only last a day or two

you said we are beautiful

because we’re ephemeral

but what happens when

fleeting moments like

a crash kilometers away

pain for someone I never knew?

escapril 2019 // 30: catharsis

yesterday, I cleaned out my room

bugs infested each and every corner

I tried to catch them but they

hid away between the nooks and crannies

whispering schemes to each other

learning the dustiest corners I’ve ignored

waiting for a perfect time to kill

so I dusted out the corners

rearranged the furnitures

repainted the scratches

thinking cover-ups should make anew

yesterday, I cleaned out my room

praying for the bug spray to kill,

I felt seventeen, rearranging photographs,

filling up a space with desired personalities,

she would have been proud

there’s nothing I’d tell her, but to say

yesterday, I cleaned my room, for another hundredth time

they say an odyssey is a cycle

ending with a catharsis

where you come clean

but yesterday, I cleaned my room

again

[nipahcos]

NipahCos (NipahDUBS) FAQ

First off let me say thanks for wanting to know more about me, here is my FAQ to save you the trouble of asking if the answer is here! Cosplay related questions are towards the bottom. Before asking me something like that “How do I make/do _____” Please take a moment to do a little research yourself. Most questions I get can be answered by a simple google search, while I don’t mind answering them, you can usually find your answer that way.

Name: Nipah (Pronunciation: Knee.Paw) Age: 7

Height: 5′10 Gender: Male Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Religion: None Ethnicity: Filipino and European Single or Taken: Taken, my fiances name is Andrew, here is his blog

Hair color: Dark Brown Eye color: Dark Brown Do you live with Andrew: Yes Where do you live: Illinois Where did you grow up: Florida How long have you dated: Over eight years How did you meet: Through a skype call for a chorus group.

Picture of you two: Here

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NipahDUBS DeviantART: nipahcos.deviantart.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/NipahDUBS YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/NipahDUBS

Instagram: Nipahcos

SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/nipahdubs Favorite anime: Higurashi no Naku koro ni, it’s where I got my name from. Favorite manga: Ranma ½ or Fushigi Yuugi

Favorite yaoi: LOVE STAGE!!

Favorite Food: Mac and cheese, chicken anything.

Favorite foreign food: Longanisa and Tocino Favorite singer: Avril Lavigne Favorite color: Teal/sky blue Favorite animal: Domesticated would be cat, wild would be panda. Favorite anime character: I don’t really have one. Do you listen to KPOP: I have started too. I like Twice and BlackPink.

Virgin or not?: I get asked this a lot for some reason or questions along this line. If you send me an ask that is asking “Have you and Andrew had sex” or anything like it I will block you. That is none of your concern and it is not something I wish to talk about, I have zero tolerance for asks like this. Please respect my wishes on this, thank you.

Favorite game:

Fantasy - Shadow of Colossus

RPG - Kingdom Hearts / Pokemon / Final Fantasy

Action - Resident Evil

Fighting - Bloody Roar/ Mortal Kombat

Classic - Banjo Kazooie

Dating sim - DRAMAtical Murder

Shooting - Left4Dead

Horror - Silent Hill

Multiplayer - Mario Party

Simulation - Viva Pinata

MMORPG - Perfect World (Don’t play anymore)

Sports - Mario…Tennis lol

Favorite Animated Movie: Lilo and Stitch

Favorite Live action Movie: The Fifth Element

Favorite Actor: Mila Jovovich

Favorite Pokemon: Shinx

Favorite Pokemon game: Ruby and Sapphire.

Fears: Snakes and heights

Favorite gaming system: N64

Favorite Holiday: Halloween

Favorite season: Autumn

Favorite TV show: Charmed / Desperate Housewives Favorite Cartoon: Jackie Chan adventures/ Gravity Falls

Favorite Disney Princess: Rapunzel - Tangled Favorite Disney song: Be Prepared from The Lion King

Favorite Disney villain: Scar Do you watch PewdiePie or cry or gamer vlogs: No

When do you have lives: Randomly, they’re never scheduled.

—————————————-

.::Cosplay Questions::.

Where do you get your wigs: Ebay, Amazon and Arda-Wigs, though nowadays you will most likely only see me wearing wigs from Arda-Wigs.

Where do you get your contacts: I buy all my contacts in person from a local store by my house, the store is literally called “K-POP” They do not have an online store but they’re found in Carrolton in Texas.

Where can I buy contacts: Try Honeycolor or Pinkyparadise

Do you make your cosplays: Most are hand made

Favorite cosplay: Aoba, Sora or Howl

Do you take commissions: I take wig commissions. https://www.facebook.com/Nipahwigs

Materials you use most: Craft foam, Hot glue, gorilla glue, acryllic paint, spray paint, Air dry clay, paper clay and resin. Materials used to style wigs: Hair scissors, thinning scissors, tacky glue, GOT2B freeze spray

What won’t you cosplay from?: Death Note, Hetalia, Homestuck, Most live action series and most animes with a school uniform cause I find the outfits boring.

Why not?: I just don’t want to.

Make up:

Kay-Von-D concealer

FIT Maybelline concealor and matte mineral powder

Maybelline dark circle concealer Hard Candy glamoflauge concealer Loreal liquid eyeliner Black eyeliner pencil White eyeliner pencil ELF eye shadow kit

Favorite thing about cosplay: Styling wigs

Cons you usually go to: A-Kon and Anime Fest

Do you go to cons outside Texas: I do not usually, I don’t have the money to afford to go to many cons outside of my state, unfortunate as it is. Though you can request I attend a convention around you and I may be able to go if the staff invites me! How to keep a wig tight on your head: Answer

What are your keyblades made from: Insulation foam, you can get it at Lowes.

How much are wig commissions: Depends on the wig, I usually charge anywhere from $100-$200

—————————————————

.::MMD questions::.

How long does it take to make a model: Depends, 3 hours to a day or two

Favorite model maker: Hzeo Favorite Model base: YM and TDA Favorite effect: Selfoverlay, ssao and diffusion

Favorite Model: Don’t have one Will you release your models: Not sure How do you make them: PMXEditor and Blender

—————————————————

.:: Other Questions ::.

Do you like Homestuck?: No, I have nothing against it I just don’t care or it.

Do you like Hetalia?: I do not.

Why didn’t you answer my ask?: I get so many a day it is hard to get to them all, I don’t answer every compliment cause there are only so many ways I can say thank you. Some questions get repeated constantly and while I do answer them periodically, usually someone else will come around and ask the same question you did so I don’t feel the need to answer the same question twice within a couple days. I also refrain from answering hate messages or oness that are too personal.

[loremonster]

My First Days In Guam

Pagebreak because TMI about periods and such.

Moving to a new place is pretty much always hard. This time, made harder by language barriers, culture barriers, and the fact that my vagina is bleeding like an arterial wound. The jetlag is pretty hardcore, but I’m beginning to come around to sleeping when it’s dark at least. The heat and humidity is vicious, though I am sure I’ll adjust to that, too. I have trouble picking what exactly I wanna vent about first, so let’s just take it from the top.

Arrival went as smoothly as could be expected; after 2 full days of flights, connections, passport checks, and a grand total of 22 hours in the air with small children screaming, in-flight wi-fi not working, and a toddler kicking my seat the whole way from Seattle to Japan, we completed a journey that started in Minneapolis on the 3rd of December, 8 PM and ended in Guam, the 5th of December, 10 Pm. I will notate here that we crossed the international dateline, and a total of 19 hours in time zone differences. Sleeping on the plane was nearly impossible for me, as certain issues at home had not been resolved; most prominent of which was the fact that our property manager had dropped the ball with our home back in Washington state, and our tenants who were supposed to be keeping that house’s mortgage paid had not yet been able to even SIGN the lease agreement because of multiple mis-communications and goof ups... and NO ONE at the office was returning calls. 

Now a world away with no international phone plan, I was not capable of brow beating the property manager into doing something, and worry kept me awake the majority of the travel time. What sleep I did grab was simply my body and brain succumbing to exhaustion for about 20 minutes at a time before I’d jerk awake, cursing the fact that I wanted to just sleep through the whole damn thing and missing my legal marijuana something hardcore. 

We had a friend awaiting us at arrival, but hopes for a hotel had fallen through. We spent our first hour on the island driving about aimlessly, searching for anyone who would have a room for a night. Our host was good-humored, and helped us get our bags up once we found a room. We were told that if we told the front desk by noon the next day that we wanted to stay longer, we could.

I showered, marveled at my thoroughly swollen ankles, and laid the fuck down to sleep at 1 AM, local time.

I awoke 4 AM, local time, unable to go back to sleep and accepting that after about half an hour of trying to pass out. I decided now was a good time to shave, put on the cute clothes I had bought in the states particularly for the hot weather here, and perchance go for a short walk before the sun came up to get my bearings and buy some sunscreen.

30 minutes later I returned to the hotel a shaken and angry young lady-- I had been whistled at while walking, and a man had pulled over his car to ask if I was okay, twice. My excitement at being in a place where it was socially acceptable for me to wear a skirt and a crop top because it’s always goddamn hot out had turned into a terrible sense of vulnerability. Even if the whistler had simply been a run-of-the-mill asshole, and the man in the car had been a good Samaritan making sure I wasn’t a runaway or a battered girlfriend in need of help, it didn’t change the fact that a moment of confidence for me had been turned into a moment of horror, fear, and anger that I didn’t feel safe on my own. My eagerness to embrace my new home had turned into reactionary terror, and I dove back to my hotel room and my husband simply for the familiar comfort. 

Oh, right, and hubby didn’t get house hunting leave right away, so he had to go to work. I felt terrified to be alone, and was informed I’d be spending our first days quite perfectly by myself.

Then I was informed that the hotel couldn’t keep us, despite us notifying them before noon that yes, we did want to keep the room. They were already booked up. Our room was promised to someone else. Now my hubby had to go and get familiar with his new command, and it was in MY hands to find us a new place to stay before I had to pack out the room and leave the free wifi that enabled me to get things done... and then, at noon, I would be on my own and would just have to kill time until both hubby and his ride were off of work and able to come get me. 

Finding a room was not as hard as I imagined, thankfully. I managed to find a decent booking for what was last night up until our next payday, the 15th, so we’ve got a room for a hot second here. After that, I decided to swallow the fear, pack out the room, leave our baggage with the front desk [they promised they’d look after it until we could pick it up to take to our next hotel], and walk down to the near-by K-mart; the biggest shopping center within a mile and, to me, the best way to kill time until I had a right elsewhere. 

82 degrees in nearly 100% humidity is something that makes short walks seem long. As someone who is an avid player of Pokemon Go, who tends to hatch a 10k egg at least once a day, I did not think a 1.2 KM walk was going to be any sort of difficult, even in the heat. I had water, i had obtained sunscreen, I figured it couldn’t be too bad, but the heat is just so heavy here. It lays on your limbs, the humidity soaks into your clothes and makes them leaden, and my poor sleep deprived body wasn’t exactly the most cooperative vehicle in the world. That said, I did make it. 

Arrival at K-mart had a specific task in mind. I had forgotten to pack one of my swimsuits when originally gathering the things I wanted with me before the move, and now I found myself on a tropical island without swimwear. Sacrilege, of course, so I needed to find something. And, here is where I get into the most minor of all my gripes, but I am beyond upset that there was not wider selection. You see, I will not describe myself as fat. Have I picked up a little pudge in recent months with all the stress eating before the move? Yes. Am I bloated from my period? Hardcore. Are my breasts engorged because of my period as well? Oh you fucking bet. But the point is that I am 5′4″ and weigh in at 150 at my heaviest, and that is by no means an unhealthy weight when you take into account the fact that I am a 32 DDD. A D-cup pair of breasts weigh about 20 pounds on their own, so I’m guessing my pair weigh about 25-ish. Why do I bring this up?

Because a tropical island that sees body types from America to Japan, anywhere from 90 pounds to 300, as well as the more muscular and stout builds I’ve been noticing of the native people, 90% of the swimsuit section was STILL made exclusively for size 0 women. According to the sizes at that sort, I am apparently an XL in the chest and a L in the ass. Oh, right, all bikinis. The one-pieces were all either black or one of those terrible eye-sore patterns, and all only for the people pushing 300 pounds. I WANTED a one-piece originally because, well, I have a pudge. I wanted to swim until I lost some of it before I went into full blown bikini time. Yeah, I’m human, I have feelings about my body. I don’t LIKE being self-conscious, but I am. But here I was, looking through one-piece suits and they’re all labeled either with numbers I don’t understand and clearly made for someone MUCH larger than myself [who I am certain doesn’t want to wear black or eye-melting pink with palm leaves either] or XXXL. 

Once I accepted that I was getting a bikini that day, my eyes were, of course, drawn to something brightly colored-- neon green with black lace, to be exact, but I knew there was no way in hell I’d fit in it. Skipping my ass, these are things my bone structure was simply too wide for. After that, I found another that looked close enough to try on; some army green color with silver accents that I liked. Off to the fitting room! ... for the bottoms to pop several stitches as I pull it on, and for the top to look obscene in the way that it offered my breasts zero support. Technically I could have worn it, I was covered by the strictest sense of the term... but I wouldn’t have felt good wearing it, and I don’t wear anything I don’t feel good in. Personal policy. 

Finally, of course, were the black and eye-melting bikinis. The ones they DO make for women with bodies like mine, with the wide hips and the knockers out of a playboy spread, only these bitches are natural. 

I own a grand total of 5 black swimsuits now, all simply because the brightly colored ones are not made for me. I really hate that. I love the design of the swimsuit I bought, I just wish I could have had it in a fun color. Purple, or green! Blue, or even bright orange! Something other than black. Black is the slimming color, the color that’s supposed to make you look smaller than you are. I’m not small. I’m okay with not being small. I like my breasts, I love my hips. I may not be in love with my pudge but I accept it as part of me right now, and later on after I get back into good food an walking every day that pudge is gonna fade, but the rest of my body type will not. I will never be small enough to fit into anything that is made with any sort of artistic eye, because the people making swimsuits don’t want to dress me. They wanna dress ‘bikini babes’ who have B to C-sized breasts that need minimal support because they’re still very young and perky, and slender bodies with thigh gaps... and I have no issue with gals who are that thin. All bodies are good bodies if you like living in them! I like my body, I like living in my body! I hate that no one who makes clothes seems to like me living in my body. THAT is my fucking problem with that.

And now that I’ve devoted several paragraphs to sheer petty mooing, let’s move on with the rest of the day... namely that I was stuck at that K mart for the next 6 hours because the guy giving us rides forgot that he had a dental appointment that day, and my property manager STILL had failed to get in contact with my tenants. They’d left messages, but no one had gotten back to them. 

To put this in mild perspective, we engaged the property manager back in November, at which point in time they stopped talking to us after we signed the contact between them, the property manager, and us, the owners of the property. Now my tenants needed to sign a lease before making their first payments, payments that cover my mortgage, my mortgage, which had already been automatically paid this month. That’s 1200+ dollars that I could really use in the process of moving for food and such, money NOT in my account because my property managers could be bothered to fucking talk to my people or return a phone call. Displeased was the fucking word. My tenants are literally waiting to pay me their rent, my property manager doesn’t get their cut until they do, and they just completely dropped the ball. 

And I’m doing laps around a K Mart, unable to make phone calls but watching my FB chat blow up about all this, edging up on exhaustion as my stupid circadian rhythm realizes it’s 11 PM back in Minnesota, so obviously I should be sleeping. 

I spend the last hour at K Mart at the Little Caesars pizza housed within, eating too-greasy junk food and finally dozing off on a table until my ride showed up, with 7% battery left when I was finally told SOMEONE was on their way. 

I now sit in the hotel room I booked, which is markedly shitter than advertised. There’s tiles broken apart in the bathroom, someone made the bed weird and put the extra blanket UNDER the fitted sheet. We have a fridge, but the ice tray in it is cracked to shit and leaks in most compartments. There is no ice machine in this building; I have to go down a giant fuck-off hill to fill a tiny ice bucket if I want ice from their machine, which I’m sure helps them save on that cost. 

Good news is that I fell asleep at 7 PM last night, and awoke at 3 AM. Despite this sounding outrageous, that does mean I got a full 8 hours of sleep, which is an improvement. Of course, I got up to use the restroom and found my underwear looking like someone tried to fuck me with a knife, so that was less happy... but hopefully that specific bodily event will be over soon if I’m bleeding that thoroughly. The last two flavors of instant ramen I’ve tried were too spicy for me to eat [it’s all in Japanese so I’m guessing based on the pictures on the boxes], but there’s a USO a block down the street that offers free meals to military members, so I might take a short walk down there today... and I won’t be getting booted out of this room.

Also, I told my property management company they were fired this morning, which got them to clean their act up right quick. My tenants have a lease, and I’ve heard no further complaints on that side thus far. 

And that, dear friends, has been my first two days in Guam. 

Granted, this one still has quite a few hours in it. Local time is only 9:48, but I already feel like it’s 3 in the afternoon... Damn jetlag. 

I want to love this place. It’s my new home. It just doesn’t feel like it yet. 

-Buttlord. 

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I've been to Wildwood. The Jersey Shore is crazy in general but wildwood is next level. The board walk has like 200 of the same t-shirt store, feels like you're walking through the fires of hell, and is jam packed with kids on camp trips. I've only ever done the board walk there but I've seen the walk you have to take to get out to the beach, it's insane. I can only imagine what it's like with family. How old are your cousins and what are they like?

My family has literally been coming to Wildwood every year since, like, at LEAST the 1930’s, I’m not sure on anyone earlier than that, and my family is insane, so let’s dive into this.

The Main Characters In My Life On Vacation Are:

-My Grandmother, who was a child dancer star (she tapped on the radio!) who’s been coming down here her whole life- her parents used to come down the same day there would be a talent show, enter her in it, and then use her first prize reward for the money they’d spend throughout the week. Has been in the old person stage of “I’m an elder, who cares what I say or do” for the past 15 years. Has eight living kids and Too Many Descendants. Loud and refuses to admit she can’t walk half the time.

- My Mother, who gets confused very easily, overshares and breaks off into meaningless tangents in the middle of stories, snores like a literal demon, always wants to be asleep, keeps pushing for family activities, doesn’t realize all the kids think she’s lame.

- Me, who is always Extra Depressed in the summer months, and is the Sole Person In This Family My Age- everyone just stopped having babies for a few years when my mother decided to have me (Everyone is either over 25 or under 16). Because of this I’m usually confined to my room, unable to really do anything on the boardwalk because going on rides alone is depressing and my mother has heart problems. Just wants to read and write, but the children keep Screaming.

- My Aunt and Her Husband- A Very Loud Couple, she likes to control everything and he’s the only one who ever bothers to yell back at her. They always fight exactly once, every year, and every year somehow I always end up being the only other person in the apartment while its happening, so I just have to sit in awkward silence until my aunt finally huffs out “I can’t believe you’re doing this in front of my goddaughter!” and storms out to go find her kids. They make a lot of jokes and think their children are very dramatic.

- Jenna, the 14 year old cousin. Very dramatic. Mastered the art of the eye roll at a young age. Has literally looked like a mini model since she was born. Can’t be bothered to deal with anyone. We usually have one (1) tiny girl-bonding moment each vacation and then she promptly acts like she doesn’t care even though it’s clear she does. Athletic and artistic and musically/theatrically gifted. Very sarcastic. Always doing cartwheels.

- Seanie, the 12 year old cousin. Middle child syndrome. Tries to hard to be funny for attention. VERY dramatic. Will cry at the drop of a dime (I’m typing this and I literally just heard him burst into tears in the other room??). Super adorable, you can tell he’s gonna be one of those high school boys that pulls Ridiculous Shit but after one charming smile the teachers can’t bring themselves to stay mad. Very loud. Currently addicted to video game youtubers.

-Zack, the 7 year old cousin. Adorable. Loud. Lowkey a prodigy child but they can’t afford to get him into Special Schools so he’s always bored in class. Baby Of The Family syndrome. Currently in an aggressive pokemon phase. Doesn’t understand he’s literally a child, he acts like an old man half the time.

We’re all shoved into a small apartment for a week, but there are Others:

- Kathy, Grandmom’s second oldest. Literally the most bland person I have ever encountered on this planet. Very, very into trying to plan ��fun’ family events. Thinks any conversation is a riveting conversation.

- Kathy’s husband, who is just a plain old guy who’s lowkey a hoarder and jokes around a lot, but every time someone mentions his past or his family it gets more and more confusing??? He may have a brother who was in the CIA??? He may have been homeless or he may have lived with his sister???? He may have killed a man???? I literally know nothing concrete about this man other than he’s apparently been with my aunt since they were teens but I. D. K. Every new piece of information I receive just scatters the puzzle more.

- Their eldest daughter and her husband spend most of the summer down here but always make sure to match up the schedule for when we come down. Loud, energetic couple. I have no idea what either of them do for work? They might currently be unemployed? Really into alcohol. At some point in the week every year, everyone in my apartment bonds together to diss them after we get back from the beach. Like, they’ll do something or another EVERY YEAR that sets EVERYONE off.

- The 16 year old. Tries to show everyone memes on his phone. Never really talks to people. Does NOT get along with his parents because he’s kinda an outlier in the family. I feel like he might be a stoner, but if I find out he’s got a hidden gun collection, I wouldn’t be surprised? That probably sounds awful but he’s a good kid I promise.

- Danny, 12. Adorable. Quiet. Mini golden boy. Makes jokes when you aren’t expecting them. Very resigned to the fact he has to hug me and my mother when he sees us.

- Kathy and Mystery Man’s youngest daughter, a librarian, and her stand up comedian husband, and now their three month old who is ADORABLE and everyone was surprised to learn they hadn’t named her Hermione.

Other recurring family members are prone to popping up throughout the vacation- Aunt Margie, Grandmom’s sister-in-law, who, I love her, but remember that chocolate episode of spongebob with the old woman that was essentially a stick in a wheelchair and had a chain smoker voice??? Put that in the tiniest bikini you can imagine and add a wheezing laugh and you got her. Her daughter who I could not recognize on a street if I tried. Her son Michael, who is best friends with my mom and apparently Not Gay (no one’s really convinced). A step-cousin sometimes pops by, she’s very breezy and easy-going and you can’t distinguish her Actual Talking Voice with her Talking To Little Kids Voice.

Anyway, Wildwood itself is just. Goddamn ridiculous.

The aesthetic of this place is somewhere between the 1950’s, a trailer park, and the kind of developed land you get when a moustache-twirling man wants to convince all the old people he can to retire to his buildings. Some buildings are harsh metal, and others are bright pastels, but the only thing joining them together is the fact that it looks like no one has cleaned anything here in years. EVERYTHING, even the knew stuff, looks worn and faded. Even like…the AIR is faded. It’s not just the sun being too bright, everything you’re looking at looks like it’s an old photograph. If you stay too long, you might start to fade into the landscape yourself.

I have never once seen an animal that wasn’t a seagull here. Most towns, islands, places, whatever- you usually have at least squirrels running around, maybe some variations of birds, just. ANYTHING. But it’s all seagulls all the time. You cannot exist in a spot for longer than a few moments without one of them dive bombing you. They are not mere birds. They are feathered demons that Hath No Fear Of The Foolish Mortals Of Mankind.

The song “Wildwood Days” plays on the Boardwalk every half hour. It is the only way to appease the spirits. It’s the modern, New Jersey-ian version of painting lamb blood over your door frame. As much as I’ve grown to hate the song, to twitch and clench my fist at each note, I deeply fear for the day the song doesn’t play on time and the curse is unleashed. I have a deep, sinking feeling that this moment will come within my life time.

If You Don’t Stop To Watch The Fireworks, Your Bones Shall Never Be Found.

You hear the ongoing chant of “Watch the Tram Car, Please!”, and look around, but there isn’t a Tram Car coming. The order grows louder and louder. You realize you aren’t even on the Boardwalk any more. The sound is right behind you, but you can’t find the source. “Watch the Tram Car, Please!” you realize, to your horror, the sound is now coming from inside you. You never find your true voice again.

Despite The Fact That This Place Is A Mosh Pit Of Families From All Over The World, If You Can’t Immediately Place My Accent Or Figure Out What Language I’m Speaking, I Have Legal Grounds To Kill You.

The sand simply isn’t normal. It’s ADVANCED sand. It doesn’t make sense. It never truly washes off. The more you scrub, the more appears.

Ancient gods from multiple pantheons like to chill out on the beach, have a few beers. You never know for sure who is who, but you Know they aren’t the same as you, and you know they know more about you than you’re comfortable with. For your own sake, NEVER ask them to turn their music down.

There is always at least one plane flying over with a sign reading “Jen, will you marry Sean?”. It’s been decades. Will Jen ever say yes?

Elevators Are For The Weak And We Use Them To Judge Who To Do Away With First.

The ocean goes back and forth between green and grey, and you know the color makes a significant difference but you can never quite put your finger on what.

Fish Are Fake.

All the stores sell everything you want, but nothing you need.

King Kong Is Our Fierce Protector, Loving Hero, And Just Enforcer

All the police officers and firemen and general ‘in charge’ jobs seemed to be run completely by 18 years olds

No one truly knows who pulls the shots when it comes to deciding the Boardwalks style each year. Every store sells the same Designated Style, and each year they make less and less sense. You buy a specialized hoodie anyway, and you have no idea why.

I could keep going on with that list, but the point is, Wildwood is a Strange Place and I have a Ridiculous Family, so every year is always a bit of an experience.

Like, no one in my family really has anything in common other than everyone’s always loud and everyone’s always right and everyone is always ready to loudly fight over the fact that they’re definitely right, but like. Imagine crawling through some Hillbilly Murder Showers in the garage of a condo, using all of your force to pry open a suspiciously heavy and questionably mechanized door, walking under the boardwalk and trekking over sand dunes just to find a bunch of screaming yet physically relaxed people under the flag for Montserrat. Some guy’s cracking stand up jokes while no less than three children are fighting each other, your mother is promising for the 14th year in a row that you’re gonna go on a whale watching trip and everyone knows she’s lying, some woman’s trying to hold a conversation about buying applesauce in bulk while her husband and children get drunk, there’s a skinny pale guy with horrible sunburn blasting songs from N.W.A., a girl’s cartwheeling around the site to the point you think she doesn’t know how to move any other way, a boy’s quietly drinking pickle juice, there’s a 7 year old literally trapped in a giant hole that he dug, your mother is snoring loud enough to alarm the people around you, and just when you’re starting to get a little comfortable about the feathered demons and start to relax, a tide comes in so strongly your chair literally starts getting pulled out to sea with you in in. It’s average. It's fading into the landscape with the rest of the place.

[ryki]

I just wanted to let you know that you are loved, appreciated, and valued. When you get this, respond with 5 things that make you happy, then send this to the last 10 people in your notifications on anon!

Hello, hello! Thanks for your kind words, regardless if it’s just copy-pasted, LOL. It’s a nice pick-me-up. Five things that make me happy are.....

          01. -- Voltron!! Well, mostly Lance but it’s been a long while since I’ve been so into a show so it’s nice to have something I can obsess over without worry. While there’s a LOT of the show that I’m disasstisfied with, overall it’s a really good series and I know the creators are trying their best; and where they’re lacking, parts of the fandoms are more than happy to pick up the slack. From beautiful fanarts, to well-written fanfics, to amazing cosplays and individuals, I’ve found myself really happy to be a fan of Voltron!

         02. -- L.Joe, Geonhee and Infinite! I have a love-hate relationship with k-pop, especially the fandom; but my loyalty to Infinite, L.Joe and Geonhee is as solid as it gets. I’ve been a fan of Infinite since before their debut, a fan of Teen Top since they were mentioned to debut and a fan of Geonhee since Purfles’ debut, and I haven’t faltered once since becoming a fan of theirs. They could post on SNS and I’d already feel better about my day; they give me inspiration, motivation, and the joy of being a fan. And while I haven’t been noticed (yet!) by Infinite or L.Joe, I’m almost certain Geonhee knows who I am, despite being an international fan. 

         03. -- Drifloon! This little child-kidnapping balloon of souls and cute is absolutely my favourite Pokemon and has been since its release. Just looking at a picture of Drifloon fills me with so much glee and happiness that I can’t help myself when it comes to splurging on it. I have so many Drifloon plushes and I only hope I can continue to expand my collection! 

         04. --Math and coding! Though I really don’t do math as much anymore (hoping to change that soon) it’s really stress-relieving for me. I might not be the smartest when it comes to math (tfw your math teacher is actually your english teacher and they can’t teach math for shit) but it always made me feel calm and useful, since I could pick up the numbers pretty easy. The same with coding; it’s very straightforward, which is something I know I need in my life. The concept of ‘there is no right answer’ doesn’t apply to math or coding because if it’s not ‘perfect’, it’ll mess up everything. And I really like having such a definite structure towards something.

         05. -- Last but definitely not least, my friends, family and fiance. Without my friends, family and fiance to help me through hard times, I would be a lot worse off than I am now. So I’m really glad to have them in my life; they really make my life a lot brighter than I could imagine on my own. And even if we fight from time to time, they’re really understanding and forgiving. I love them so much, I don’t even want to think about where I would be without them. 

Thanks for sending this, anon!

[todokori-kun]

(OH NO I’m gonna miss you Queen ;-; hope you’ll have a good week, though! And looking forward to talking again when you get your laptop back <3)

I’m totally over my Hamilton obsession. It’s a fandom of the past for me now. I’m not going to finish those lyrics. You can’t tempt me with something as simple as that. I’ve actually forgotten the next lines-

I WROTE SOME NOTES AT THE BEGINNING OF A SONG SOMEONE WILL SING FOR ME

AMERICA, YOU GREAT, UNFINISHED SYMPHONY, YOU SENT FOR ME!

YOU LET ME MAKE A DIFFERENCE, A PLACE WHERE EVEN ORPHAN IMMIGRANTS CAN LEAVE THEIR FINGERPRINTS AND RISE UP

(so in case you couldn’t tell, me having left the Hamilton fandom was a blatant lie and my tongue is now turning black)

The Queen couldn’t possibly have been a brat. I bet you were the sweetest kid ever :D

See, the thing is, when my sister gets whiny she can be really irritating.

Like, insisting that she’s only played a ‘tiny bit’ when she’s been at the playground for at least three hours now and it’s time to go home and have a late dinner, then continuing to complain about it the whole car ride home (“Evans is mean. Mom is mean. Daddy is mean…”) then refuses to get out of the car when there are other cars behind us (then she whines about how everybody was ‘dragging’ her out of the car when she was trying to put her shoes on), drags her feet as we go into the apartment, says she’s not going to eat dinner…like, not anything too big (most of the time, at least) but really annoying stuff.

And then sometimes it’s like the whole 'I’m not touching you *finger hovers centimeters away from other person’s skin*’ thing. When she’s really mad at me she’ll make motions like she’s going to punch/slap/pinch me and then when I ask her to stop (“hitting people isn’t nice!”) she’s like “I didn’t hit you though! Evans is being mean” and sometimes she starts to cry…OTL )

Evans + smol children:

Kid 1: “PLAY WITH US EVANS” *clings to my hand*

Evans: “-um-”

Kid 2: “Please?” *grabs my leg*

Evans: “I really need to-”

Kid 3: “Pretty please? You’re the best at tag and Monster games!” *hugs and refuses to let go* *puppy dog face*

Evans: “…how can I say no to this…”

*five minutes later*

Evans: “I know I shouldn’t back out of this but please hear me out I’m DESPERATE*

oh dear XD people don’t really bother to close their mouths over here, I think, since if you don’t think it’s rude then it IS more comfortable. It is considered more polite to cover your mouth with your hand when there’s too much food in there, though.

My parents really want to know why I love manga so much, but they don’t usually have time to watch/read anything with me (and besides, my dad doen't like violent stories so…).

Well, she doesn’t like the Rising Sun Flag at all (like I said, over here it’s a really bad symbol. Many people who were hurt by Japan during WW2 are still alive today, like the old ladies who were once sex slaves for Japanese soldiers, and for everyone involved that pain is never going to fade) but she’s still going to try it out just for the story :) she’d probably really have a problem with it if the flag was used in more serious situations, but since it usually appears in comedic moments in the manga I think she’s accepting it as ignorance(?) from the creator.

Yeah, I don’t really like Kissanime ^^;; I’ll try to find Re:Zero on the Korean site where I usually watch things. Or maybe a manga/light novel version, if there’s anything like that? Since the Manhwa Cafe might have a light novel or a manga.

LOL Fairytail is too intimidating. And you know me, I’m too angsty for that series XD True though, HxH is super long…

Killua isn’t QUITE a cinnamon roll (he was still raised by the Zoldycks and trained by Illumi) but he comes close. I mean, even after going through a hellish Zoldyck childhood he STILL doesn’t want to be an assassin and is capable of kindness and emotion towards people who aren’t members of his family. The MC Gon is probably the ultimate cinnamon roll though.

Illumi has issues. The fact that he willingly hangs out with Hisoka should prove that.

The Zoldycks are a BRUTAL family, ok, I feel sorry for all their children. Like, come on. The emotional abuse is just as bad, if not worse, than the physical abuse.

Idk if this was ever addressed in canon, though, but I wonder if Illumi also resents Killua in a way? Since Illumi is the oldest child and was trained since birth to become a perfect Zoldyck assassin, but when Killua was born it quickly became obvious that he was a prodigy and then he was chosen as the heir. Kilua doesn’t even WANT to be the heir, he stabbed his mother and one of his other brothers just to run away from home, and yet he’s still being chosen over Illumi, who was trained for a similar role since birth and just had to silently, obediently step side the moment this tiny baby brother was born.

True, I guess it’s like me shipping Queen Luna with so many characters LOL. Evans/Kimblee is still one of the weirder ships though, like what do we even have in common (answer: ruining lives. And we both….appreciate….art?). At least Scar/Evans had the potential to be awkwardly cute XD

(TYSM though Queen, you’re too kind to me <3)

What have we done now I’m imagining that fight between Kimblee and Ed, where Ed thought he won but Kimblee revealed he had another Philosopher’s Stone- but instead of the stone, it’s

Kimblee: *pulls ball out of pocket* PRIDE! I CHOOSE YOU!

(Imagine Pride making the Pokemon noises though)

I relate to that too. Probably going to relate to it even more when college starts in September(?)…;-;

BUT WHAT IF WE END UP TRIPLE-JINXING IT (idk what I’m even saying now)

I guess it’s just me and my fondness for mix-and-matching colors XD I get bored looking at something with too much of just one color so I like throwing in other colors too…I might get carried away with it sometimes though lol.

TYSM AGAIN. QUEEN LUNA IS TOO NICE FOR ME TOO HANDLE GAH

I’m really glad you liked the Olivier one though ^^

…wow. That was an amazing dream XD Weirdly enough I’ve never had a dream about a celebrity even with all of my fandoms (I did once have a dream involving a few K-pop idols but I can’t clearly remember if they were actually real idols or just characters created in my mind lol).

Don’t worry, Loki will distract you from the lack of long blonde hair with his fabulousness (once again, idek what I’m saying)

Hope you had a good time watching it :D (I’m personally not into Sherlock anymore, though ^^;; the sexist/homophobic stuff was just too much so I dropped it)

Also:

TG’S NEW CHAPTER WE FINALLY KNOW WHO CREATED THE CLOWNS OMG

CLOWN BOSS, CREATOR OF TRAGEDY

HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS COMING

ALSO SHIKORAE=RIO 100% CONFIRMED NOW

SMOL BANDAGED ETO AND TATARA IN A FLASHBACK

ROMA I HATE YOU (SHE’S AMAZING)

MENTION OF THE ORIGINAL ONE-EYED KING

KUROIWA’S GONNA DIE

IF YOMO DIES- I CAN’T EVEN. He’ll be dying at the hands of the chacter I just don’t care about anymore (Mutsuki) for one of my not-so-favorite characters (Touka). NO.

And I watched S1 of One Punch Man on a react channel. I’m obsessed and now I’ve got to read the manga HELP ME

And I finally found real watercolor paper, I can’t wait to paint on it :D

Also, sorry for not sending any asks ;-; i got discouraged because asks get eaten so easily (plus I had so much to say lol)

FINALLY PLAYING CP! I didn’t get Steam though (after reading about it and thinking it through I just don’t think it’s for me ^^;;) so I ended up downloading it. I’ve played all the routes except for Waltz’s, but I’ve only gotten the Good Endings so far. (There’s actually a reason for this: Firstly, I was actively trying to get a good ending because I get weirdly obsessed when playing dating games…since it’s a romance, it feels like a major fail if I don’t get a good ending XD (I know, I’m really weird). And as for the second reason…you usually have to act like a jerk to other characters to get the bad endings and I didn’t want to do that ;-; (seriously, I know they’re just fictional characters and that it’s silly, but I HATE it every time I choose to do something mean and they look at me like they’re so disappointed ugh OTL)).

My thoughts so far:

-Art is amazing! It does look a little off at some points during the game but it’s not very noticeable and other than that, it’s great. The intro looks the best, I think, and the sketchy, simple style used during flashbacks really adds to the ‘fairy tale’ feel. It actually reminds me a bit of Kuro’s art.

-Idk about music, my family’s always around and having my earbuds in for so long hurts my ears so I just turned off the sound while playing ^^;; I did hear a bit of the intro though and it sounded nice.

-I like the history with the Great War and the crystals :)

-The whole concept of Fairytale Curses is really interesting! It was fun to try and guess how the curses worked for certain characters and how they could be broken.

-Rod’s route was probably the most boring because it was too predictable. I guessed that Alcaster(? is that his name? I’m talking about Fritz’s father) wasn’t the real villain, that Mythros was the witch, that MC’s mom was probably a witch, that Rod was in love with Viorica and that Viorica had something to do with his curse, that falling in love with MC would break his curse…yeah. The only thing I didn’t see coming was that MC’s mom was not just a normal witch but the Tenebrarum bearer. However, it was still interesting enough to make me want to play the rest of the game, the romance was cute, and I liked how they handled the whole ‘step-siblings’ thing.

-Rod himself was a bit boring. I don’t think he was badly written, but his personality was a mix of the typical 'stoic’ and 'tsundere’ types so yeah. I do have to give the writers kudos for not turning him into an annoying tsundere, though. I mean, Rod can be a jerk but he didn’t irritate me and I didn’t dislike him.

-Karma/Klaude’s route threw me off because of the whole rose motif. I thought that by 'Beauty’ he meant 'Sleeping Beauty Curse’ XD it didn’t help that he kept talking about being tired and not having had enough sleep.

-I liked his habit of calling people 'darling’; idk why but it’s cute. I also like that he’s the only character so far to actually address MC’s relationship with her mother and what it must have done to her (even if it was just a brief moment). Karma’s personality in general was charming ^^

-I also really, really liked his character design! Even though my favorite color is blue I think characters with a 'Red’ theme (like Grell from Kuro) always look good. It makes them pop and stand out from the rest of the cast.

-But I’m sad we didn’t get to meet his father. The glorious man who calls his children 'Karma’ and 'Llama’.

-I was also a little bit disappointed with Karma at first. From the art I saw before the game I thought he was this cool, powerful swordsman who liked to wear dresses and didn’t care what people had to say about that…turns out he just had to do it because of the curse ;-;

-(Karma’s curse was also a bit confusing to me. Idk, I just think they could have explained a little better why dressing as a woman helps…)

-Rumpel (or rather, Chevalier…but I’m never going to get used to that name. It reminds me of 'Chivalry’ or 'Chandelier’). People don’t seem to like him a lot but I was looking forward to playing his route…he just seemed like a fun guy.

-He turned out to be a very interesting character that I wanted to see fleshed out more. I mean, he started as a 'Shallow, Childish Flirt’ type character, then we found out he’s actually a nice guy, then we found out he’s a DOCTOR (I got spoiled for that before I played his route but still), then there’s the thing with him being too selfless for his own good…I like that they didn’t just turn him into a 'Playboy’ character.

-Tbh I thought he was sweet? *prepares for the hate*

-Also think the whole thing with Bria was handled well. I’m glad that neither she nor Rumpel was made out to be the only victim.

-I wish we got to see more of how Mythros’ death affected Rumpel, though.

-Fritz is a cinnamon roll :) a total sweetheart.

-His route might have been a bit boring, though, because MC spent so much time locked up in the castle..but it got a lot better towards the end, after MC got back to the Marchen.

-I also found Varg really interesting and felt a bit sorry for him. Wish we got to see more of him- especially since it was mentioned that he was created from some part of Fritz’s personality. We never really got to see the 'Varg’ side of Fritz :(

-(wonder if there’s more Varg in the Bad Ending?)

-Also I’m sorry but Fritz’s curse reminds me more of Jekyll and Hyde than Little Red Riding Hood XD

-DELORA YOU ABSOLUTE QUEEN. HOW DARE YOU GO AND DIE ON ME DURING FRITZ’S ROUTE. I THOUGHT I WAS AIMING FOR THE HAPPY ENDING asdlfk;lkc

-(didn’t really care for the mother-daughter relationship with Delora and MC, though, because their interactions didn’t feel that way?)

-MC. I haaaated her at first and I hated her even more because I sensed she was going to get an angsty backstory that would justify her behavior. But she was actually really well written and I ended up liking her a lot!

-Emelaigne and Parfait are sweethearts. (also I like that detail with the shadows around Parfait’s eyes)

-wish there was some more diversity in the cast

-Also female love interests! With a little tweaking we could have Delora! Parfait! Jurien! And if we can date Rod, THEN THERE’S NO HECKING REASON WHY WE CAN’T DATE EMELAIGNE TOO

-It would have been nice if the love interests called MC out on her behavior at some point. I mean, we know why she acts that way but they don’t.

-And if they’d talked about her childhood with her…Hildyr was a terrible mother.

-Speaking of Hildyr, wow. Just, wow. I like that she’s not a flat, 100% evil character and that she does genuinely love her daughter (in her own twisted way), but…yeah.

-Mythros is a slimy rat who was probably aiming for Magnificent Bastard status and failed. (I do feel sorry for him, though. And his design looks good. It sorta reminds me of Vincent Phantomhive)

-Also, random: I renamed MC ever time I played the game. I love naming characters so in any game, if you can rename the MC, I always have to change the original name ^^;; I ended up naming her Theodosia once (sorry Burr, I’m sure your daughter’s nicer than the MC), and then Eliza just for how funny it was (because now I associate the name Eliza with Cinnamon Roll Queens and the MC is anything but).

-Delora, MC and Emelaigne are probably my favs. However…

-The Ultimate Fav is the one and only Mr. Broom. Such development. Much complexity. 10/10. Best character ever.

-And now, the characters I ship Queen Luna with (yes, I absolutely HAVE to do this with every one of our shared fandoms): Fritz and Karma :D it would be so cuuute

-I’ll add my opinions on Waltz once I get the time to play his route :)

-TYSM for introducing me to this game, Queen Luna! I had a lot of fun playing it <3

I AM BACK!!  And I’m emotionally drained again XD Too much human interaction for 1 week. I had some friends over, so I was supposed to be the polite host (even though it was actually my mom’s idea to invite them, so I can ‘be more outgoing’.) 

Right, right, and I totally didn’t force my friends to listen to the whole Hamilton soundtrack and then totally didn’t get this close to singing along to everything. Both of us are over it

I’M RUNNING OUT OF TIME. I’M RUNNING, AND MY TIME’S UP WISE UP. EYES UP I CATCH A GLIMPSE OF THE OTHER SIDE.

Same, same. I just have to think a thought that is also a lyric in the musical and I’m back in hell.

Nope, trust me, I was a little shit. Whenever someone tells me stories of baby Luna, I wanna curl up into a ball and die from embarrassment. I’m not even joking when my parents wanted to take me to get tested for ADHD. And then, suddenly, I found the magic of books and you will not get me to move my ass unless my life’s on the line (and even then I’ll reconsider XD)

Ouch… well, most little kids are like that? I mean, I don’t interact with them a lot (we have a mutual dislike for each other :P), but there’s a reason why I don’t like them. They can be adorable and all, but I just don’t have the patience ^^;;;

I think I’d cry of cuteness if I ever saw Evans with little kids, because that sounds absolutely adorable!!! 

Tbh, the thing I have most problems with is the sound of it, because it gets on my nerves so much ;-; 

Still, it’s really nice they make an effort to understand you ^^ I finally told my mom about my idol obsession today,  and I was so happy when she wasn’t weirded out T^T The thing is, I’m so used to people giving me weird look when i so much as mention anime, and idols are a whole new level of that, that I just don’t wanna tell anyone about it. Hell, it took me 2 months to offhandedly mention it to my parents. 

I think Re:Zero has a light novel? I’m not sure, honestly ^^;;;

Dude, you would not like fairy tail AT ALL. It is 98% tasteless fan service, and I was able to tolerate it for the sake of plot, but in the recent chapters, the plot itself has also become really stupid. Like, if a character dies, no one is worried any more, cause we know they’ll be revived 3 pages later. It became really stupid near the end. But, hey, it’s over now.

In summary: HxH is messed up XD I’m still debating watching it… maybe a bit later, or maybe I’ll pick the manga up ^^ 

Art is a very wide term, so I guess you could say both you and Kimblee do have it in common? It’s just up for discussion which form of art XD I must say, I do like you and Scar better though, because I don’t really think Scar would potentially blow you up if you did anything wrong…

Pride, pride! Pika pride!

All enemies would be terrified of him.

IDK LETS JINX IT AS MUCH AS WE CAN SO HOPEFULLY WE END UP IN A JINX THAT KEEPS HIM ALIVE! And omg I honestly don’t remember anymore if it was a fan comic or an actual manga panel, but it makes me wanna cry every time I think of it (I think it was a comic…) But then again, I don’t wanna spoil anything for you (again ;-;). So, have you read what happened to Bertl last?

Seriously, it was so weird ;-; I usually remember all my dreams, so but I usually dream of anime and other fictional characters (help) and things I thought about a lot during the day. Most of my dreams are crazily bizarre. 

Well, I mean, Loki finally had the decency to wash his hair (I’ve waited 3 movies for that), so I’m more than happy about his part XD

Tbh, I’m not into it too much either, but I do enjoy detective/mystery shows, so why not.

WOW. WOW. W O W. I READ THE NEW CHAPTER. JUST ROMA??? SHE’S 51??? WHAT??? ALSO URIE WHAT THE FUCK?? I THOUGHT YOU WERENT GONNA DIE AND YOURE DAMN NEAR THAT. NOT TO MENTION, Y O M O WHYYY IM NOT LETTING MUTSUKI KILL YOMO, HE SHOULD HAVE MORE SKILL THAN THEM AND SHOULD BE ABLE TO TAKE THEM DOWN EASILY. Also, was that a death flag for Touka that I saw?

I have one thing to say.

ONE PUUUUUUUUUNCH

Seriously, I brought the series with me on an USB to rewatch it during the summer XD

Oh, I hope you have fun with it! And don’t worry about not sending asks ^^

GUESS WHO ALMOST CRIED WHEN SHE HEARD YOU WERE PLAYING CP??? ((If you need more than one guess, I’ll be disappointed XD))

I can’t wait for you to play Watlz’s route. That guy is still my favorite, and I still wanna cry when I think of him XD Trust me, there are FEEELS. HE’s also one of my favorite tropes T^T

Don’t worry, I also always get good endings first and then the bad ones (tbh I do the bad ones for the CGs and achievements. I wouldn’t do them otherwise XD)

The art is honestly one of my favorite parts, especially the character designs! Some of the CG is a bit inconsistent, but it’s still admirable, especially for a free game! 

Trust me, the music is absolutely amazing! If you ever want to hear it, there’s a small sound room or something in the settings and you can always listen to it there ^^

I know the history of the whole world s so creative! I honestly never expected MC’s mom to be the witch crystal (forgot the name lol) bearer, but it was a nice twist!

Yep, Rod is a bit predictable, but it’s still a fun route ^^ He’s my 4th favorite, tho…  Or 5th, I honestly can’t decide…

Karma, my darling ;-; Tbh, I’ve always doubted that he was Beauty and the Beast (because it’s my favorite fairytale If i’m gonna be honest :P), but the whole ‘not now’ and ‘running out of time’ (haaaaamilton) thing gave it away.  The ‘Character calls MC a pet name (darling, love, LITTLE STAR (T^T)) is definitely one of my favorite things ever ^^ But I knew Karma was, well, Karma (aka Beautiful Lady) the second he appeared in the alleyway in the prologue. the hair gave it away tbh I think we should meet Llama in the fan disk coming out soon? I really wanna buy that disk XD

Rump is so much more than he seems. I mean, from what I saw in the prologue, he was my lest favourite, but I think he might be 4th? Still not sure if it’s him or Rod… ((also, don’t get me wrong, just because they’re last doesn’t mean I dislike them! It’s just that I like them the least (sounds equally horrible)))

I love Fritz, but I love Varg more, which is why Fritz’s bad end is the worst for me, personally (vaaaaaaaarg). And I was so sad when he erased himself ;-; Why you do that my dear wolf. 

I KNOW I ALMOST SCREAMED WHEN DELORA DIED WHYYYYYYYYY. Idk, in some routes it does feel like mom-daughter somewhat, but then again, i some routes, Delora is more of that sassy friend.

Yep, i mentioned it before, i really like MC’s growth ^^ It’s nice to see her go from total bitch to just slightly bitch XD 

A whole bunch of extra routes were considered, from what I heard, but they simply didn’t have the time or funds to include them…

Mythros is that guy i wanted to feel sorry for, but simply couldn’t. Especially not after waLTZ’S ROUTE. Fuck you, Mythros.

Oh, wow! Poor Eliza and Theodosia hahah Tbh, I always use Luna in otogames because it’s not my real name (so no embarrassment from the characters calling me by my actual name), but since i always, always use Luna on the net, I’ve kinda adopted it as a second name XD

Mr. Broom best boy 1000/10. I want a route for him.

Awe, thanks a lot!  My faves list looks like this: 1. Waltz (still crying) 2. Karma/Varg 3. Fritz (that’s right, Varg is above Fritz, despite being Fritz) 4. Rumpel, actually 5. Rod.

So I am very very happy to be shipped with (technically) both 2nd best hahah

Honestly, I see you with Fritz, bc cinnamon roll and cinnamon roll! He’d always be the one to makee sure you’re not uncomfortable with something and would melt when he saw you with little kids (despite the fact that you were pleading for someone to help you at the moment XD). Also, you can bet this guy will dedicate so much of his free time to watching you pain. HE’d also try to learn how to paint himself, so he could feel closer to you! Also, time to drown Evans in pastries, it doesn’t matter if she likes them or not, Fritz will buy more or less the whole shop so you can try it. He messes up so badly if you come watch his practice. He is dead. He can’t handle the pressure of you watching (even tho I doubt you’d give a flying fuck if he messed up a step or something) and will just turn red, turn around and call for a break.  Also, you can bet this guy is all about head pats. You learn to have a comb with you at all times XD

Enjoy Waltz’s route and the feels! 

Oh, and I also made Aesthetics for some characters, I’ll post them separately, cause they’re on my phone ^^))