#i fucking hate it talks so much about how the kids specialised needs are the priority but they care SO fucking little

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Hmmggggggg almost got into a full fight with Cunt coworker bc she was totally ignoring one of the kids while also actively making things worse with another

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

Con Man's Daughter

Posting this because there isn't enough biodad! John Constantine content.

[Masterlist]

(Part 2)

-----

I feel like this should be a Damianette story or just platonic relationship after Jon got aged-up to seventeen and Damian wanted a friend his age but doesn’t want to admit it.

So basically there is this big bad in Gotham using magic that Batman was fighting at the time and enlisted John Constantine to help out.

John realizes that the villain is using a Miraculous.

“Oh. I think I know how he gets his powers. And lucky for you, Bats, I know an expert on this special brand of magic.”

And he did the smart thing and called up Marinette who at the time was already Guardian and was looking for other lost Miraculouses like in the Treasure Hunter AU I wrote.

He calls her at a really bad time. She was in the process of being chased by the guardians of the place. Monsters and evil spirits.

“Hello, Dad. What do you need and can you do it quickly?”

“Hey, sweetheart, it’s me. How is my little cupcake up to these days?”

“You called at a bad time.” Gunshots.

“WAS THAT A GUN I HEARD? WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, YOUNG LADY?!”

“Somewhere in Japan. Getting a Miraculous. And why can’t you call me to check in on me and not ask me to help you with whatever mess you got yourself into.” More gunshots sounds and it was telling that Marinette was using a gun.

“Where did you get a gun? And don’t you have school?”

“It’s summer break. Don’t worry Maman and Papa know. Well, the fact that I am in Japan anyways.” Marinette sounded a little out of breath. Roaring and horrifying sounds at the other end. “Can we do this later?”

“As it happens, there is a villain going around Gotham with what I think is a Miraculous.”

Swears on the other end.

“Oi. Watch your fucking language, young lady.”

“How about a No and move the fuck back, old man. I am coming over right now.”

“Old man? I am not that old-” as a magic blue portal opens up in the Bat Cave.

And a red Chinese dragon comes out with someone riding it.

Its rider was a black-haired girl. She had a trench coat similar to Constantine's. I imagine her with a fedora. Like Carmen Sandiego style but not red. Sometimes red but only when she has to steal it from a museum or high security places and she leaves a name card with the name Carmen Sandiego. A sword strapped to her back and a dagger to her thigh.

She had a gun in her hand which she used to shoot the monsters as it was halfway through the portal and yelled out the spell to close it.

“Brilliant entrance but you are in lots of trouble, little lady. What were you thinking about going to another country unsupervised? And isn’t there still a butterfly problem in Paris?”

“One, I wasn’t unsupervised. I had Tikki, a billion years old being and a sort of god. Two.Well, it got boring trying to track Hawk-bitch down. And I found this legend about a guy with a Miraculous who disappeared in the temple and thought hey, more miraculous could mean another edge to defeating Moth-man.”

More bickering and John grounding Marinette who was acting very nonchalant about it.

Okay, at this point, I should say that Batman and Robin are in the background trying to make some sense.

Batman is surprised to find out that Constantine has a daughter who is also involved in magic like her Father but an apparently more specialised kind called the Miraculous. He is a little miffed that he didn’t know about John having a daughter. He did consider it weird at first that she had a slight french accent unlike her father’s Liverpool accent although she pronounced some words like he does.

He also connected some dots that she is also the Parisian heroine, Lady Rouge who Wonder Woman introduced to the League a while back and had declined to join the Young Justice or Teen Titans until everything in Paris was resolved.

Damian on the other hand was suspicious of the new arrival and came to the same conclusion as his father about the daughter thing.

Batman after a few minutes, clears his throat.

The Constantines stop arguing.

“Bonjour. Batman. Robin. Pleasure to meet you. I am Mari Constantine and yes, I am this homeless looking man’s brilliant daughter.” “Hey”

“Well, Mari. Your father thinks you can help us with this new criminal turning Gotham upside down. Literally in some cases. He said that you might be able to help us.” Batman said as he pulled up zoomed in picture of the Miraculous.

Mari looks through the Miraculous grimoire and tells them all about it and power-ups, basically the most effective thing to defeat the guy is to get the Miraculous off them. Plus a spell that would make the Miraculous ineffective if casted within a certain radius of it.

“Thank you for the information, Mari. Constantine, let’s go.”

Mari made to follow them.

“You young lady are grounded and staying here.”

“I don’t need another supervillain using the Miraculous which are my responsibility as Guardian to retrieve them for their own misuse and wreaking havoc on the city. And what if there is an akuma in Paris? I can’t go there if I am grounded in the Batcave although it is a cool place to hang out.”

“You can portal back to Paris but you are not going to follow me. Understood?”

“yes. crystal”

“Good. After me and Batsy get the Miraculous, you can do your Guardian duties.”

Damian snickers. Until Batman cut his mood short, “You are staying behind too. Robin.”

“But Father, why? I am much more capable than Constantine.”

“Hey!” Both father and daughter.

Damian is staying behind too because of the Miraculous power or other reasons and keeps an eye on Mari.

Damian stays behind and there were some protests about mari mad about having a babysitter and Damian doesn’t want to be a babysitter. Despite the two of them being around the same age.

“I got an eye on you so no funny business.”

“Okay, Dad, I am not going to have sex with Robin.” Mari said with a shit- eating grin. Robin definitely didn’t blush.

“I hate you sometimes.”

“I love you too, Dad. Go save the world. Byee.”

John eyes her suspiciously because she is not one to give up that easily usually.

He casts a spell to watch her as they leave. and which she totally knew about.

“So...I have one question.”

“Tt, ask and don’t bother me anymore.”

“Is Batman Bruce Wayne?”

Damian looks up, totally caught off guard.

“I am going to take that as a yes.”

Puts sword at her neck. “How did you find out?!”

“Opened up Google Maps and saw that we are under Wayne Manor. Connected the dots. Also I already knew when Dad made a bet with me once to find out Batman’s secret identity but he never did confirm it for me. And can you please not tell your father about this? I don’t feel like being interrogated by the Bat in the future yet.”

“Father must know about this.”

“I saw you looking at Scarlet here. An animal lover then? You can give her some belly rubs. She deserves it after helping me outrun those monsters.”

His silence was brought. To pet a dragon.

One thing after another and he ends up bringing out his pets-Jerry the turkey, Goliath the dragon-bat, Titus- and her introducing him to her other pets like a hellhound, griffin and other mythical creatures who mostly roam free but come to her when she calls for them and also the kwamis, at least the ones who came with her.

After 30 mins have passed, “So Robin how do you feel about disobeying our fathers?”

“I am in.”

“Depends. Are we going after the (villain's name) ?”

“Yes.”

Awesome montage of them getting rid of the spell John casted and flying out of the Batcave on their respective giant flying pets to the villain’s base.

Meanwhile, their fathers are not doing so well and are trapped in a death trap. John can’t say the spell because the villain made him unable to talk.

“At least, the kids are staying put.”

Cut to Damian and Mari jumping off their pets and onto the roof. Taking out the guards posted there and going into the building all sneakily and also taking out the guards that come their way.

They dropped into the room where their fathers and the villain is.

“Why am I not surprised?”

Villain starts an evil monologue about his mastermind plan to which Damian cuts it short by trying to cut him down with his katana. Mari goes to deactivate the death trap.

They are evenly matched with Damian’s training and the Miraculous.

Mari steps in as Damian was about to be killed. Taps on the shoulder of the villain and when he turns around, gives an awesome right hook that knocks him out.

Takes away the Miraculous and curses him. Wiped the dude’s memories of it.

“When I said stay in the Batcave, I meant stay behind at the Batcave. What point of being grounded, don’t you understand?”

“You mean, Oh, Mari, light of my life, my wonderful daughter, thank you for saving my ass. You are the best.’ by that, right?”

-----

Mari and Damian exchanged numbers and email addresses.

As she was about to leave the Batcave, “It’s been nice meeting you, Mr. Wayne.” and leaves with a wink.

John ‘ungrounds’ her for the look on Batman’s face.

-----

After this, Marinette and Damian become friends who bitch and vent to each other about their alter egos and various villains of their respective cities. (In codes, just in case) They also share updates about their pets and love of drawings.

They have that type of friendship where they trade favors. Mari calls Damian to Paris sometimes to help out with the akuma of the day and Damian sometimes calls her in when Bruce doesn’t let him go investigate a case so he can sneak out by magical means or as back up for when his brothers were too annoying to deal with.

It’s summer break so no missing school.

John and Bruce are aware of their friendship and some of the shenanigans the pair gets into behind their back.

-----

-----

Right. how this all started...

John and Sabine first met when the latter was still in college somewhere in France. John was tracking down a demonic entity which was targeting Sabine for some reason and she was the next target.

John saved her life and exorcised the demon. There was a heat of the moment thing and they had a one-night stand. There were a few more flings and hook-ups after that night.

And nine months later, Marinette Cheryl Cheng-Constantine was born.

When Sabine first found out, she called John to come over and he thought that it was a call for another hook-up and was very surprised to find out that it was not and that he was going to be a father.

They both like each other but do not want to be in a relationship together so they both remained as friends and John agreed after some strong-arming at the very least to meet his daughter before he goes to do his job. And pay for child support. And help Sabine during her pregnancy.

Pregnant Sabine was someone you don’t want to mess with. And John has never met a demon or anyone scarier than her.

He was at first not into meeting his child and there was a self-pity party he threw himself with how the child was going to live a bad life because he was the dad and how he destroyed every good thing in his life.

That’s why he is going to meet the baby once and leave maybe a letter and the occasional birthday present and stay out of their life. Forever.

The day Marinette was born and it took one look into her eyes for the HellBlazer to fall under the spell and all of his plans to stay out of her life to burn away.

At first, he tried. He really tried but he couldn’t do it.

Lasted 4 months before he came back, wanting to place protection spells on her and sigils around the house to keep away the forces of Heaven and Hell and other entities so they won’t use her against him as a bargaining chip.

Sabine calls him to babysit. He could have refused and Sabine would have easily found a babysitter. He moans and whines about how he is a great mage and not a bloody babysitter. Sabine retorts that it is actually called parenting since he is Marinette’s father. He grumbles but in the end, agrees.

The great John Constantine is wrapped around the little girl’s finger.

He was around for some of Marinette’s firsts. Her first word was “John”.

It made him cry. He wasn’t a good man and he doesn’t deserve someone this precious. His daughter doesn’t deserve someone like him as a father but fate made it that way and what can you do about it.

After an exhausting week of doing the usual and coming back from Hell, he saw that Sabine had sent him a video. It was Marinette taking her first steps.

Chas swears that in all the years that he has known John Constantine he has never seen the man look so happy.

------

When Tom came into the picture, John was there to take care of a toddler Marinette while Tom and Sabine went on dates.

Insert John threatening a much bigger Tom while holding a baby Marinette with wide eyes and hugging a teddy bear with the same coat as John’s. (It was something Sabine brought on a whim and to tease John when he came around.)

Tom is supportive and treats Marinette like his own flesh and blood.

John resolved to leave for good now that Tom would be there to be a father figure for Marinette.

That plan fell into the drain the moment he was going to leave for what was supposed to be the last time before Sabine pulled him back and knocked some sense into him.

His face was a big giveaway. Sabine knows that despite his claims of being a terrible father for Marinette, he was a good one and damnit she was going to make sure that Marinette would get to know her actual father.

Tom later made an awkward talk with John about how he was not going to replace John’s role as Marinette’s father.

Marinette was the flower girl at Tom and Sabine’s wedding. John was there too.

During bedtime, John would read her stories and use his magic to make it come to life. Although he would feel a little drained afterwards, it was worth it to see her smile.

Sometimes he told stories about his tamer adventures. (After cutting out some of the inappropriate bits)

------

When Marinette was about 5 or 6, Sabine was out on an errand and Tom was at home with Mari and helping her with her homework. There was a crash downstairs at the bakery. Tom went down to check it out to find John lying on the ground.

With a weak cough, he said, “Close the door. Close it.” Before losing consciousness

Tom did before a man with pitch black eyes slammed against it.

Thankfully John had installed heavy wards around the bakery when it first opened.

They held against the demon on John’s tail. Tom brought John inside and unsure of what to do, grabbed a rolling pin on the counter.

The man outside started pounding on the glass door and every time his hands touched the door, light glowed outwards, showing the invisible magic barrier around the bakery. Sparks and steams fizzled with every pound.

Despite the reddening and burns of his hands, the not-human didn’t slow down.

“ʝօɦռ....ʏօʊ ӄռօա ȶɦǟȶ ɨȶ'ֆ օռʟʏ ǟ ʍǟȶȶɛʀ օʄ ȶɨʍɛ ɮɛʄօʀɛ ɨ ɮʀɛǟӄ ȶɦʀօʊɢɦ ȶɦɛֆɛ աǟʀɖֆ. օռƈɛ ɨ ɢɛȶ ʏօʊ,” He laughs, the sound sends chills down the large man’s spine, “ȶɦɛʀɛ ǟʀɛ ֆօ ʍǟռʏ ȶɦɨռɢֆ ɨ ɦǟʋɛ քʟǟռռɛɖ ʄօʀ ʏօʊ.”

Tom knew that Marinette’s father was a con man. Come on, Master and Practitioner of the Dark Arts and Occult. But he was a good father nonetheless despite all his flaws and Sabine liked him enough so that was good enough for him.

Before today, magic was just the sleight of hands and use of fancy tools to sell the illusions. Now, with a could-be-a-demon knocking on his door to get to the father of the girl he sees as his daughter, he’s not so sure.

“Tom? Qu'est-ce qui se passe? (What’s going on?)” A little voice came from the stairs, “Dad!” Marinette padded across the floor to the body of her passed out father.

She shook him awake and there were a few soft slaps to the face.

“Dad, what’s happened?”

John mumbles, “Demon…. possessing some rich guy….. Exorcism…. Doesn’t like me very much…Don’t worry...wards going to hold.”

John manages to stand before falling down and Tom catches him before he hits the floor. He has a concussion. Tom turns to Marinette, “Go, Hide and don’t come out until It’s safe.” which she did

Unfortunately, a while later, Sabine returns from her night out and the demon upon seeing Sabine. “ɛӼƈɛʟʟɛռȶ..”

The demon possessed Sabine and the previously possessed dude hit the sidewalk with a thud.

“ɨռȶɛʀɛֆȶɨռɢ....” The voice coming out of Sabine didn’t sound like her mother which scared Marinette a lot. “օքɛռ ȶɦɨֆ ɖօօʀ օʀ,”the demon pulled a knife out of thin air, ,“ȶɦɨֆ ɮօɖʏ ɢɛȶֆ ɨȶ.”

Tom hesitated until the demon put the knife on Sabine’s neck and put enough force for a thin line of blood to be shown.

He opens the door and the demon knocks him out. Stepping over his unconscious body and looking down on it, “ʄօʀ ȶɦǟȶ, ɨ ǟʍ ɢօɨռɢ ȶօ ʟɛȶ ʏօʊ ʟɨʋɛ ʊռȶɨʟ ɨ ǟʍ ɖօռɛ աɨȶɦ ʝօɦռ, օʄ ƈօʊʀֆɛ.” and cackles. The sound was so wrong and unnerving and little Marinette tried very hard for her sobs not to be heard.

Too bad the demon had super hearing. “Come out, my little blossom. Maman is home. Why don’t you come out and give me a hug?”

It sounded so much like her mother and she nearly believed that it was her mother and not some entity in control of her body.

But she knew better from John’s stories of dealing with demons and how they would use the voice of loved ones to lure them out and into a trap. (Definitely not something one should tell as a bedtime story but Marinette was very different and had an unconventional childhood with John Constantine as her father.)

Wait...she got struck with an idea but she wasn’t sure if it would work.

Before she could do anything, the door of the cabinet she was hiding in was opened and she was dragged out.

The demon lifted her a few feet above the ground by the collar of her dress.

It heard Marinette saying something. “աɦǟȶ ǟʀɛ ʏօʊ ֆǟʏɨռɢ ƈɦɨʟɖ, ֆքɛǟӄ ʟօʊɖɛʀ?”

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica.” Marinette was now screaming the words at the top of her lungs. She repeated the spell over and over again with fierce determination.

John, being his paranoid self, taught her the spell for an exorcism, just in case. Demons spared no one, not even a girl.

It screamed “NO….” as Sabine’s body contorted in strange angles before a dark shadow seemed to be dragged down into the ground. It made a desperate attempt to possess John before it was pulled away and disappeared. There was no sign that there was a demon attack.

After John woke up, he managed to piece together that his 5-years-old (Sorry 5 and a half) daughter sent a demon back to hell.

He was a very proud dad. (He was a tad worried about the consequences from this event and demons hold one hell of a grudge. He wanted his daughter to live a very safe and happy life. The bakery’s wards also need an upgrade.)

He also got the job of explaining what he actually did to Tom. And lots of reassuring.

Sabine, on one hand, was not happy that Marinette knew how to do magic. That is until John told her that he did it just in case so she can protect herself and later it was agreed that Marinette can learn some Magic spells and charms to better protect herself and when she is older, she can decide if she wants to continue or not.

----

(Part 2)

[neverdoingmuch]

now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)

wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”

but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere

they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop

when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff

anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?

and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica

he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book

when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake

he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does

like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?

pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.

nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch

wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you

wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin

so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn

wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!! 

and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)

so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)

wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??

he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.

he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week

wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica. 

he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)

also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible

by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something 

he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing

cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made

(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)

wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot

cue lan wangji

lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it. 

while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing

lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot

he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do

as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic. 

he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot

anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time 

i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out

they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body. 

when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university

lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow

they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on

and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is. 

wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??

anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills

anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!

lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.

regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot! 

lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??

he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long

after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books

and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time

[sserpente]

A/N: I’m baaaack! This Imagine was requested by @procrastinatinglikeabitch, @fandom-rpblog, @sparxgal and three anons!

Words: 4003 Warnings: smut, more or less, angst and fluff

Your heart leaped into your throat when Loki entered the room, the empty space between you instantly filling with sexual tension and unspoken words when his blue eyes met yours. He gazed at you intently for a moment before making his way over to the large dining area where Thor was already sat drinking a huge pint.

Disappointed, though you could not put your finger on why, your own eyes wandered back to your phone. It was better this way, you kept reminding yourself. Loki was too much of a distraction. Sooner or later, you would get yourself in danger—or worse, you would get him in danger. Being a SHIELD agent, or a member of the Avengers or whatever the hell it was you were, you could not afford loving the God of Mischief. Who were you kidding? Breaking up with Loki, even though he had despised you calling him your boyfriend, had not changed your feelings for him. Your relationship had been but a secret, the adopted Stark girl attracted to mischief, malice and tricks.

When you closed your eyes, you could still feel his cool fingertips ghosting over your skin, leaving trails of goose bumps behind. You could still taste his soft lips on yours, stealing gentle but demanding kisses. You were the first one to understand him, he had said. But you had not been the first one to break his heart. He had snorted upon you asking to remain friends—and you had not properly spoken since. It was better this way. Well, in fact, you had been avoiding him, dismissing any looming conversation and keeping safe from the way your body reacted to his.

You knew that when your vision became blurry and your phone screen transformed into a bright dot before your eyes that you should excuse yourself and barricade yourself in your room to cry. Perhaps you had no right to mourn what you had had, despite it being an utter secret. You had hurt him. You had pushed him away for seemingly no reason. It was better this way.

You still remembered how you had met. The reason Loki had bothered to take a proper look at you. Your parents—your real parents—had been historians who specialised in the Viking Culture and Norse Mythology. They had named you after Sigyn, Loki’s wife; and when Tony Stark, the man who had adopted you after your parents died in a tragic accident, introduced you to the team—among them Loki, who had been brought back to Earth as punishment for his deeds to support Thor—his stunning blue eyes had, almost unnoticeably, widened.

You did not actually go by the name Sigyn anymore. It was too complicated to spell, let alone pronounce. But ever since then, Loki had been drawn to you and you… you had been drawn to him. You would never know what kinds of secrets your parents had kept from you or what meaning there was behind your name. There was magic between you—and now, you had ruined it.

For a few precious minutes, it was utterly quiet, with only your clock on the wall ticking away peacefully and letting you sulk pathetically, your face against the pillow. When someone knocked on your door, you elected to ignore it—right until the intruder simply let himself in.

“Go away!”

“Last time you were mesmerised by that trick.”

Your eyes widened. You turned over vigorously to find Stephen Strange standing before your bed, seemingly having floated right through the closed door. His red cape was flowing behind him like a red river. You waved back at it when it raised a corner to say hello.

“Stephen! Oh my God, when did you get back?” Growing up, you had loved sci-fi films and of course, Doctor Who. Travelling to different dimensions and universes wasn’t just exciting, it was breath-taking. Needless to say, you had soon taken a liking into the New York-based sorcerer. His magic was nothing compared to Loki’s but Stephen had quickly become one of your best friends—it was a notion Loki wasn’t particularly fond of. It would be even worse now that you both… no, in fact, it had just been you who had decided to break up for good.

“Just now. Are you gonna tell me why you’re acting like a teenager?”

“I… rough day. Tell me everything. Where did you go? Did you bring me a souvenir?” It would be a little unfair to use Stephen as a distraction from your misery. But you were desperate. And desperate times called for desperate measures.

-

Two and half hours later, Stephen became too hungry and thirsty to keep telling you his tales. You both made your way back to the kitchen to grab something to eat, hoping you would not run into Loki. He hated the ‘second-rate-wizard’ as was—and there was no reason to tickle a sleeping dragon.

Fortunately, you only ran into Tony instead. “I was looking for you,” he stated, opening a coke can he took from the fridge, “We have to talk. There has been another attack in New Jersey.”

“Another one? That’s the third one this month.”

“Yep. Thor believes it has something to do with the Chitauri… at least that’s what the damage looks like their weapons left behind. We are meeting in the living room in ten minutes.”

You sighed, nodding defeated. Another mission then. As long as you didn’t have to spend time with Loki…

“And you? What have you been up to lately?” Stephen asked as soon as Tony was gone.

“Nothing at all.” You replied. He raised an eyebrow.

“That answer came a little too fast. Are you sure everything is alright?”

“Hmm. Yes, of course, why wouldn’t it be?”

You gave him a fake smile—one which froze on your face when, a few minutes later, you strolled into the living room and spotted Loki already sitting in your favourite chair. You swallowed thickly, remembering this one time the Avengers had been out at a party somewhere in Hungary and Loki and you had stayed home. You had ended up on his lap naked after taking a shower, fucking right there and then on that bloody black leather armchair.

He remembered it too. The corners of his thin lips barely moved, his smirk invisible to everyone but you. After a few heartbeats, he acknowledged Stephen’s existence.

“Loki.” He said politely.

“Strange.” Loki snarled in response.

Tony took twenty minutes to explain the situation and fill you in on the details and then proposed the plan he had been working on with Thor and Bruce.

“…who will bypass the security system and get us inside.“ You were barely listening, only stealing quick and furtive glances at Loki. “In the meantime, (Y/N) and Loki give themselves access from the south side of the facility and make sure we’re not running into a trap or a handful of soldiers.” Your eyes widened.

“We can’t! I mean… why me and Loki?” Tony frowned.

“Why not? I hate to say this but Loki actually listens to you, besides, the two of you have always made a good team on missions. You help us get inside safely, we take care of the rest. And I don’t want you in the line of fire, (Y/N).”

Growling, you leaned back and crossed your arms before your chest. This was a bad idea. You certainly did not want to endanger anyone because you would be unable to concentrate in his presence. Not to mention that Loki was rather resentful. He would make use of the opportunity and try and lure you back in only to pounce once you felt safe enough, knowing exactly about the impact he made on your body and mind. Perhaps he even knew how much you still loved him. Either that… or would show you the cold shoulder.

“I can take care of myself, Tony.” And regardless what had happened between us, Loki would risk his life to save mine. You could tell by the way his eyebrows rose ever so slightly whenever he laid his eyes upon you. You were still on his mind then, as much as he was on yours.

Suddenly, Loki chuckled darkly, making you blush. You could tell he was oddly amused by this whole situation. Mischief was sparkling in his blue eyes when he looked up, seemingly unaffected by what was happening around him. Thor frowned. It was not unusual he had no clue what was going on.

You sighed once more. It was pointless to argue with him. Tony Stark had developed a strong protective instinct ever since he had adopted you. “Fine then. Can I go to sleep now, Dad?” You asked him scornfully. Tony nodded, overhearing your tone.

“I’ll have FRIDAY wake you up. We’re leaving before dawn.”

Flight. That was your first instinct. Stephen was already suspicious and you would do good to avoid any more nosey questions. If only you could throw yourself into Loki’s arms and show them just how much you loved working with him. You scoffed to yourself as you marched through the dark hallway.

“It seems you have already found yourself a new sorcerer.” Loki snarled with a start, appearing behind seemingly out of nowhere. You froze, your hand only inches away from your door knob.

“W-we’re just friends, Loki, you know that.” Your heart began to pound. Shit, after all, this was the first time you were properly conversing again after weeks. Your voice was shaky—and you were certain it did not go unnoticed. Loki knew you, your body and your reactions better than you did yourself.

“Yes,” he retorted mockingly. “I know that.” He paused. “It must be unbearably terrible then to work with me instead of him.”

“That’s not… you know that’s not why.” Loki snorted bitterly.

“Of course it isn’t. Tell me, have you been suffering since you ended our relationship? Have you been missing me, my touch… our conversations?” He would never say it, never out loud—never admit in how much pain he was. Instead, he decided to show you. “Do you miss this?”

Cornering you, he stepped closer until your back hit the cold wall, forcing you to lift your chin up to meet his blue eyes.

“Loki, stop. We ended this. We can’t…”

“We can. You need this as much as I do, do you not?” You could practically taste his breath on your lips by now. Loki inched even closer to you, pressing you against the wall. Any moment now, another Avenger could turn around the corner. It was dark but still…

“N-no…”

“No? Why are not pushing me away then?” You could feel his erection against your pubic bone. Loki bucked his hips, demonstrating you what you were missing out on. Your body was ablaze, every cell longing for his touch and the sweet release only he could give you.

“Please don’t…” Don’t what? Don’t continue? Don’t… stop?

“Hmm… that sounds awfully like this one time you begged me to play the evil villain capturing a young and innocent maiden… the perfect toy to make an even more perfect little pleasure slave.” He purred.

Your walls clenched upon his seductive words. Unceremoniously, and ignoring your half-hearted protests, he slid his hands under your thighs and lifted you up so you were trapped between his strong body and the wall, your heated centre resting snugly against his crotch. A moan escaped your lips when he rubbed himself against your lips, his forehead coming to rest against yours.

Loki knew exactly what buttons to press. Biting your lower lip, you stifled another moan when he cupped your left breast and squeezed it lightly, applying just enough pressure to turn you to putty beneath his touches all the while his other hand wrapped around your threat to remind you, in the most seductive and delicious way, who was in charge. Every blissful thrust of his against your most intimate body part, albeit still clothed, drove you closer and closer to orgasm. If he kept going like this… he would make you come undone for him right here in this hallway. God, where there any cameras nearby? Tony would get a heart attack if he decided to view the footage tomorrow…

But you did not get a chance to protest. Loki’s lips came crushing down on yours, capturing you for a passionate kiss. His tongue slipped into your mouth, tasting you until you gave in and dug your fingernails into his shoulders. Faster and faster, he kept rocking against you, desperate, not only to bring you relief but also to quench his own thirst for a numbing peak of lust.

You wanted, no, needed to feel him without clothes, needed to feel him deep inside of you… “Loki…” You whispered. “Please…”

He shushed you in response, kissing you once more to shut you up. His breathing quickened as he picked up speed, thrusting against you and pampering your sweet nub of pleasure through the disturbing layers of your clothing until you burst into millions of tiny shards, pleasure rippling through you like lightning bolts. Your walls clenched around nothing as you came, soaking your already wet knickers. Panting, you buried your face in his neck, his raven hair tickling your cheek as Loki followed you suit and stilled as his orgasm grabbed a hold of him, shutting down and heightening his senses all at the same time. You could feel him twitching against you, his warm seed, instead of coating your tight walls, staining his leather trousers.

For a few heartbeats, you simply leaned there against the wall, breathing in each other’s presence.

“I am returning to Asgard.” You suddenly heard him say softly. Your head shot up in surprise and shock.

“What? You’re leaving?” He nodded weakly.

“Tomorrow night.”

“You can’t… you can’t just leave m-… What about Odin, what about Thor… what about your punishment?”

Loki scoffed. “My so-called ‘punishment’ ended over two months ago. I stayed because of you. But now, with nothing holding me here… I see no point in spending any more time among a group of meagre mortals who all desperately wait for the day I will not return from a mission.”

“Loki…” You wanted to tell him how this was not true, wanted to tell him that there was something holding him here on Earth. With trembling fingers, you reached up to cup his face. Loki moved back as if stung by an adder. You almost landed on the floor when he let go of your thighs.

“What do I need to do to stop you?”

Back to Asgard. It was in this moment that you realised that you had made a huge mistake with pushing him away from you like that out of worry for what your future might look like; realised the moment his blue eyes full of hurt and longing met yours that you loved him so much you could never possibly imagine a life without him anymore. You only feared that by now… it was too late and Loki had shut you out for good.

“Nothing,” he spat. “Not anymore. This is goodbye, (Y/N).” I just needed to feel and taste you one last time, he, unbeknownst to you, added silently.

You sank to the floor, sobbing, long after he had left, spending what was left of the short night crying yourself to sleep and mourning the loss, probably of the love of your life, which was entirely your fault.

-

You did not want him to leave. Being apart from Loki within the Avengers’ compound was hard as was… how would it feel once he was back on Asgard, lightyears away from you? What if he found a beautiful princess from another realm who would marry him? What if he forgot you?

Needless to say, you were unrested the next morning, your eyes swollen from your endless streams of tears. You did not join the others in the kitchen for breakfast, instead, sulked about in your room until they were all ready to leave.

How would you ever survive this mission, knowing that after, you would never see him again? What could you possibly say to him to make him stay? Loki had made it very clear to you last night. There was nothing holding him here anymore. He had shut you out just like you had shut him out, kicked him when he was already on the ground.

The only one to blame was you… and you wished for nothing more than to mend his broken heart. Tearing up yet again, you suited up and boarded the helicarrier. The journey would take you to Thailand, to a “secret” facility delivering weapons and armour of alien origins to a few thugs in New Jersey.

No… you would fix this. You would win him back. Loki was positively the best thing that had ever happened to you. You had been naïve, no, stupid to end the relationship because it might distract you from saving the bloody world. There was no world without Loki, was there?

Like the last couple of days, he was avoiding your gaze when you approached him standing next to Thor, observing the rest of the Avengers preparing everything like they were getting ready for a camping trip.

Finally, his blue eyes met yours—and for just the fraction of a second, longing flashed in them.

You looked away quickly when Tony noticed, blushing furiously. But… yes. That was exactly the problem. You kept hiding him, repudiating him. Your heart skipped a beat. Even when you had been together, you had, painstakingly so, kept him a secret out of fear of what the Avengers might say or do to separate you. Truth was, no one would ever be able to separate you from Loki anymore—no one but Loki himself.

Before you could stop yourself and reconsider what you were about to say, you took a deep breath and clenched your fists all the while marching straight towards the God of Mischief. Loki frowned in a confused manner.

“I have something to tell you guys.” You said loudly—loudly enough for everyone to stop doing whatever they were doing and face you to listen curiously. Loki’s frown deepened.

“Loki and I…” You paused. Loki and I are in a relationship? No. That was not powerful enough. “I love him.”

“Huh? Love him how? Like you love nachos and cheese or like playing house?” Bucky commented unimpressed.  Beside him, Tony froze. Loki’s lips parted in utter surprise. You had never caught him off guard like this before.

“What did you just say?!” Your adoptive father finally snapped, earning him a reproachful look from Doctor Strange—who looked equally displeased. You couldn’t care less.

“I said I love Loki.” To your left, Thor began to grin.

“So that’s why you decided to stay with us, brother,” He stated, patting him on the shoulder. “You fell in love!”

“I did not fall in love.” He spat. His soft gaze when his blue eyes met yours, however, spoke a different story. You couldn’t help it, giving in to the urge to be close to him, comfort him, kiss him. So you did. You practically jumped into his arms, digging your nails into his armour and kissed him senseless. It took him only a heartbeat to reciprocate the kiss and wrap you in his arms. Behind you, Tony was about to explode, if such a thing was possible.

“What have you done to her, Reindeer Games? What kind of spell is this?”

“I’m afraid it’s not a spell, Stark.” Stephen tossed in—still displeased but somewhat… amused. The rest of the Avengers appeared to be equally shocked. Well… that was their problem now. Even though there were a lot of things still unsaid between you two, Loki would be yours again; and you would never ever hurt him again like this.

“Okay, stop it. Stop it now! (Y/N), have you lost your mind? This is Loki.”

Eventually, you broke away from him, if anything to catch your breath. Loki was panting too, still not quite believing what you had just done. He did not, however, pull away from you. Quite on the contrary—he held you close as if he was worried Tony or one of the others would snatch you away from him.

“You don’t really know him, Tony.”

“I don’t know him? I don’t know him, (Y/N)?! This man brought an alien army to New York and killed innocent people!”

“That’s not how it happened and you know it.” You spat sharply, unwilling to mention Thanos’ name.

“I forbid it.”

“Forbid it? You can’t forbid it.”

“I can, you’re my daughter!”

“That’s not what it says on the adoption papers. I am a grown up woman, Tony. I can make my own decisions.”

It was Steve who stopped the Ironman from lunging at Loki without even wearing his suit.

-

“What does it look like back there?” Steve’s voice came through the waterproof earpiece you were wearing.

“We’re facing a cliff.” You replied matter-of-factly.

“Is there water down there?”

“Yes. Deep enough for a ship to pass through and deliver deadly ammunition.”

Tony might have hated would he had had to say about you but Loki but you were indeed a very good team, even more so now that… you smiled at him when he reached for your hand to pull you back into him so would not accidentally fall off the cliff.

“There is a… well, it looks like a cave. It might be what we’re looking for. Do you reckon that’s where they are storing the weapons?” You asked, turning to Loki.

He nodded. “Possibly.”

“And do you think there is a safe way down?”

“Of course there is a way down.”

“You teleport us?”

Loki grinned—maliciously. “You do recall how I told you back on the helicarrier that this barrier we saw on Stark’s digital map will not allow any form of teleportation? Given that I no longer have the Tesseract at hand…”

You raised an eyebrow and suppressed a grin—and the urge to just kiss him again and have him make love to you there and then.

“So?” Ignoring the fact he had made a subtle suggestion the space stone be returned to him, you looked at him, expecting the worst. He did not disappoint.

“We jump.” He stated, seemingly unaffected. Your eyes widened.

“What?!”

This time, he laughed. It was honest, blithe—and it warmed your heart. This man… is yours, a happy voice in your head whispered.

“Do you trust me?” He asked, reaching for your hand. You took it with a deep breath and nodded.

“I do.”

Loki’s smile was still genuine when he took your hand and squeezed it gently.

“Together.” You whispered. Next thing you knew you had your breath taken away as you fell, holding on to the God of Mischief for dear life. The moment you had to let go was the moment you broke through the water surface effortlessly, sinking deeper and deeper. Surprisingly, it had barely hurt, still, the sudden darkness and masses of water around you put your body on alert. Resisting the urge to take a deep breath, you ripped open your eyes.

Loki was grinning at you smugly even though you could barely register it due to the saltwater, instantly making you feel safer. He’d never let you drown. Your eyes were already burning. Quickly, you closed them again, only to feel him wrapping you in his embrace and pulling you close to ensure you made it back to the surface safely.

And before you even knew it, he captured your lips for a passionate kiss underwater. Loki became your oxygen. But no, you corrected yourself. In a way, he always had been. And perhaps… just like in the Myths… you would become his wife and he would take you to Asgard with him.

-

A/N: Check out my blog to find more Imagines and take a glimpse at my first (to be) published novel! If you enjoyed this story, I would appreciate it so much if you supported me on Kofi! ko-fi.com/sserpente ♥

[teeforhee]

Fuck, I'm not sure I'll ever get over how much CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health service, it's the under-18s mental health service in Scotland) let me down as a kid.

It's like this. You're 11 and you're traumatised but you're scared of using that word, you don't know if you're allowed it, but you are traumatised. And you're so anxious you can't breathe most of the time, you can't sit down and speak to any of your friends, you can do your school work but you keep falling apart and everything feels like it's getting worse all the time. You don't fit in, you're weird and awkward but your schoolwork is good so you aren't worrying about your grades, you're not even sure why you feel this way (it's unprocessed trauma, but again, you don't feel like you're allowed that word). You're s/hing and struggling with suicidal ideation, and you're lucky enough to still trust authority figures, so you do what everyone says you should. You trust an adult. And she calls your GP, who is another adult you choose to trust, who you bare your heart to with all of these symptoms that make your feel sick to even acknowledge, and then they make you an appointment with CAMHS. You came in asking for treatment. They referred you to CAMHS. They did not explain what CAMHS was other than what the letters stood for. That's okay - it's treatment, right? They're gonna help. You can talk this through and they'll help- just gotta be careful you don't get institutionalised. You don't want that, yet.

You talk to a CAMHS worker. She's a psychologist. She says it's very likely you have autism to your mother after your first session. Your mother broaches the topic gently. You are overjoyed: there's an answer! oh fuck, this explains so much! but it's not treatment. It's a word. The psychologist puts you on a waiting list and you have 22 sessions of CBT with her, trying to unpack your trauma and trying to build up coping skills. So many of them feel like just denying the truth, so many of them feed into your magical thinking ("the one thing you can control is your thoughts, you must always control your thoughts, good things will happen when you control your thoughts and stop thinking the bad thoughts"), but it's treatment, mostly. You stop seeing her twice- once because you are trying to develop an eating disorder and having a mental health professional who wants to hear how you're doing is totally cramping your style (I wasn't actually trying to develop an ED really, I was trying to cope in ways other than s/h, in ways that felt honest to the situation and real and gave me a sense of control that "controling my thoughts" just wasn't doing). You come back for recovery. You tell her you want an eating plan. By the time she even considers an appointment with a nutritionist, you've moved past that stage in your recovery on your own. You stop seeing her again because you get into an abusive relationship who doesn't really like you having contact with people who aren't him, and he super super doesn't like you not being able to talk to him for a whole hour every week. That part isn't their fault: no one could be gotten me out of that until I decided to; believe me, everyone around me tried, and it didn't work until I wanted I to, the third time.

But I left, again, I was without support for 6 months, and when I came back it was after my father (the earliest source of my trauma) had died. They take 4 sessions compiling evidence as to what treatment i needed going forward, without telling me that was what they were doing (I was trying to build trust with an adult again after 6 months of constant reinforcing that I couldn't trust anyone but my abuser), and then an appointment with a psychiatrist and your mother and a new psychologist. They dismiss and justify the symptoms that most worry me, they have at this point turned down my request to be institutionalised multiple times (including after an aborted suicide attempt, I presume they thought that was fine because made it clear that I did want to live), and they say at the end of the meeting that they are going to give me an official diagnosis of autism and that after that CAMHS has nothing more to offer me.

They say that if after 22 sessions with a psychologist I am still struggling so much (bear in mind that probably close to half of those sessions I was concealing factors that were actively making my mental health worse and which were traumatising me) I clearly can't gain anything more from their service, and anyway, autism isn't a mental illness and CAMHS as a service can only help while waiting for/trying to get a diagnosis, or if you have a diagnosis or a disorder for which they could provide specialist treatment. My very obvious PTSD? nah, no big-T Traumas, and c-ptsd is way too hard to diagnose. I receive a hilarious letter detailing all of the evidence (I mean genuinely insightful but also fucking hilarious and I do want to note down funniest bits and post them hear at some point, stuff like "unusual speech was noted, (exclamations of 'wacky!' while describing his symptoms)") and then they refer me to a charity which, at time of writing, I have had 1 assessment phone call with, and am waiting for a call back for my next and first proper appointment.

They did not inform me when I was first referred that CAMHS is a diagnostic and specialist treatment service and if they did (this was well over two years ago now, I don't remember word-for-word what my GP told me), they did not tell me that meant that they would kick me out to a charity once they figured they couldn't label me with anything requiring specialist treatment. During our last sessions they were unyeildingly focussed on the trauma of my father dying and of the "shock" of my diagnosis (that I had been waiting for for 2 years. yes, very shocking/s) when those were not my biggest problems. My relationship with my father is complex and I won't get into it here, but suffice it to say that his death was the last step on a very, very long journey, and honestly one of the least traumatising.

I let them keep the focus there because I desperately hate talking about the actual, recent, debilitating trauma of being in lockdown with an abusive partner for 6 months. That shit hurts, I can't even say his name, but that is the thing that I need to unpack if I'm ever going to be able to go outside in the sun again.

Repeatedly ignoring the requests I made for specific treatment until past the point where I needed it anymore, not informing me how the service I was going to be working with for 2 years even worked in something so basic as "what is this for? what will happen to me if I get a diagnosis they can't give me specialised care for?", telling an 11 year old child that suicidal ideation is "not that serious", a fundamental misunderstanding of what I needed and wanted to hear ('normal' is not a helpful word. 'normal' tells me 'suck it up, everyone experiences this and they're all fine, you're normal, just think better' why are they all so adamant that I am normal? Not even considering my mental health I am an autistic bisexual gnc trans guy, we went past whatever 'normal' means a long time ago, fucking listen to me), at every single step of the way this system has left me in the same state I was before, the only improvement being through support from my friends, fucking Childline (gd fucking bless Childline volunteers, but still, I shouldn't have been getting so little support that that felt like my only option), mental health masterposts on Tumblr, chats with my (luckily) very nice guidance counselor (they're called pastoral teachers here but I know most folks reading this are American or are most familiar with the American school system) and what amounts to gritting my teeth and getting through it.

It was worth it, of course my life was worth it, of course I say the same thing every person who's attempted suicide says, I'm more grateful than words could possibly express that I survived, that I get to go home in a few minutes and feed my kitten and write and message my friends, but for fucks sake it didn't need to be this hard. And it doesn't need to be this hard. I'm not out of the woods yet, I'm still waiting on that second appointment with this charity, I'm still 3+ months behind at school, and I'm one of the lucky ones. My boyfriend has been hurt worse by CAMHS, left even more isolated than I was, even more traumatised by the way he was treated, and every single person I know who's been in this system agrees that it's deeply, deeply flawed.

I don't want people to have competitions over who's medical experiences are worse, who's country has the worst mental health system, who's been the most traumatised by their psychiatrists or lack thereof, please. Please don't make this the suffering Olympics. I'm just making this post cause I know, I know that other people have had similar experiences, whether with CAMHS or whatever their equivalent is. Mental health services need serious reform that puts patients first, listens to their needs and requests, that is well funded and well staffed by people who care about their patients wellbeing more than they care about controling other people's lives.

Austerity in the UK is a huge reason why this happened the way it did- my first psychologist left the service to go work somewhere that pays better, leaving just one newly-graduated psychologist that clearly had no idea what she was doing and didn't care to sympathise or show compassion for me.

This shit needs to change, because kids need help, and this is not good enough.

[jupitermelichios]

So while everyone’s in a Stranger Things mood, I thought I’d share my personal headcanons of where the kids are going to end up in life (several of which have been made non-canon this season, but oh well). I was trying to work them into The Joyce Byers Home for Wayward Teenagers but they never quite fitted in.

Will doesn’t go to college, even though Joyce keeps saying they can afford it. (They can’t). He practices like crazy, and Jonathan puts him in contact with the art department at his college, and he puts together enough of a portfolio to start getting hired professionally, doing fantasy art for stuff like RPG rulebooks. He’s  one of the first artists working on magic the gathering for Wizards of the Coast, although he’s most proud of his contributions to the 6thE D&D rules. I think he’s going to be one of those people who gets really set into a routine the minute he gets a place of his own, and never ends up co-habiting with anyone. He probably does annual Desert Bus for Hope guest appearances.

Mike takes El ending their relationship hard. Of all of them, he’s been the closest to the upsidedown except for Will and El, and he has the least support network, since he wouldn’t know where to begin talking to his parents about any of this, and he hasn’t exactly been raised to be emotionally mature. He goes pretty far off the rails in college, drink, and then drugs that start out casual and get far too serious. Fortunately Nancy has had some therapy and decided that she’s going to step up where their parents have failed. She gets him cleaned up, gets him a job working with their dad in Hawkins where El and Dustin can keep an eye on him, and he finds that once he’s not so worried about being left behind all the time, he actually quite likes having a normal life. He’s godfather to two of Dustin’s kids, and while he resists dating for a long time, worried about how he’ll react, he does find someone in the end, and he’s exactly as sickening the second time around as he was the first, and his friends and family are all thrilled for him.

They all think everything the government did to do with the Gate was bullshit, but Lucas is the one of them who decides to do something about it. He gets a job at Town Hall, then an internship at the state senate. He falls in love with a brilliant driven woman. He’d never be able to pick one of the guys to be his best man, but that’s okay because he’d have picked Max anyway. He makes it to the House of Representatives by the time he’s 35, and he never gets asked at any point in his political career to okay any covert science operations, but there’s plenty of other things that need fixing. Erica and Dustin both have strong opinions on the state of education, especially in STEM, Jonathan Steve and Nancy have a whole lot to say about queer rights, and racism is everywhere, and sexism, and he can’t fix everything but by god is he going to try.

Dustin was totally going to be a science teacher, but then Steve beats him to it and he doesn’t want to seem like he’s copying. He gets a job at radioshack, which he’s sure is going to be a temporary position while he looks for the next big thing. 10 years later he’s now the manager of the exact same radioshack and none of his big things have gone anywhere, so he says fuck it and starts a computer repair business. Steve gets him to start a club for local kids, teaching them about radios and computers. That’s where he meets a single mom of three, and they hit it off right away. He takes to being a step-dad like a duck to water, and then he has a couple more of his own, and everyone gets used to seeing him with a toddler or two in tow at all times.

Max teaches herself to code, mostly because people keep telling her she can’t. She doesn’t go for a career - she’s happy to work a job that pays the bills with enough leftover for her hobbies. The game she makes in her spare time never hits minecraft popularity, but Will’s artwork helps plus the single coder passion project angle plays well enough to make it a bit of an indie darling, moreso when it gets out that she was the who made the ‘playable peach’ and ‘playable zelda’ mods that got super popular in the early days of homebrew console modding. She has a few boyfriends but they never really last, and she’s in her 40s when she meets the woman she eventually marries on a panel on woman in gaming.

El writes her autobiography, mostly just because it makes her feel better to have it all there in black and white, like a story. Like something that can’t hurt her. It’s Dustin who convinces her to try selling it. He and Mike help her edit out the incriminating bits, and it gets picked up pretty quickly. It’s never a huge hit, no movie or TV deals, and it doesn’t pay the bills, but she gets letters from little girls telling her how her story inspired them, and helped her be brave, and that’s worth far more than money.

Nancy spends a few years drifting, not really sure what she wants to do, before she finally admits that maybe she needs some therapy, and then she trains as a psychologist, specialising in young offenders because god knows where should would have ended up if she’d ever tried to tell anyone what happened to her. After her parents find out about Jonathan and Steve, she wants to get as far away from them as possible, and the boys are happy to follow her to New York. They get a crappy apartment with crappy neighbours and love really doesn’t make up for lack of sleep but they’re happy anyway.

Jonathan starts out doing newspaper photography, but after he gets to know some police officers through work he ends up training as a forensic photographer. He gets a reputation for being completely bullet-proof even by the standards of the NYPD. He does a couple of art exhibitions later in life and Steve and Nancy are super proud of him, but it never really goes anywhere, and he doesn’t mind.

Steve resists right up until the very last year of his degree, and then admits defeat and accepts that he was destined to be a teacher, probably middle school. He absolutely hates all the rules against being openly queer around kids, and threatens constantly to quit, but in the end he loves the kids way too much to ever do it.

[theacerbicprince]

Answering Harry Potter Tag Questions

So my darling @xweofmanyfaces answered this in video form but I don’t do videos because I don’t know how to edit and stuff. Really, all I can do is type and prance so I’m going to type out my answers to these questions. It may be long, I apologise in advance. If there are any other questions you’d like to ask me that I haven’t answered then let me know. 

What house are you in?

I am a Gryffindor which surprised me initially but if I think about it makes a lot of sense because I am very loyal to the people I care about and I don’t think I’m brave but I know people who would disagree with me just based on the challenges in my life. 

What is your Patronus?

My patronus is a white stallion according to pottermore. I read up on what it meant on the lexicon and it was amazing how similar it was to me. 

What is your wand?

My wand, as on pottermore, is Pear wood with phoenix tail feather, 13 and 3 quarter inches, slightly yielding flexibility. According to pottermore, there has never been a recorded instance of a pear wood in possession of a dark witch or wizard. 

Favorite book?

I liked the Deathly Hallows because it gave us so much and it wasn’t as badly paced as some of the other books were and it moved me emotionally, very much so and it revealed so much of my darling boy. 

Least favorite book?

Probably the Chamber of Secrets if I’m honest. 

Favorite movie?

From an aesthetic point of view, the Half Blood Prince. Overall favourite movie in terms of soundtrack is the Deathly Hallows Part 2 but overall, tying everything together would probably have to go to Order of the Phoenix. I live for Imelda Staunton in that movie and ugh, just that bit where Alan manages to inject that much snark and sass and condescension into the one word ‘obviously’. 

Least favorite movie?

Goblet of Fire, I think a lot of people might agree with me on that one, it’s not universally that well received. 

Is there a movie you preferred over the book?

The Chamber of Secrets movie is better than the book for me. I actually feel very emotional about the ending of that movie probably because of Chris Columbus to be honest and some of the shots are amazing and the music too, John Williams excellent. 

Favorite quote?

I love this so, so fucking much. 

“It is good to see that six years of magical education haven’t been wasted on you Potter; ghosts are transparent.” 

Favorite character?

Severus without a shadow of a doubt. He’s my boy even when he’s being a total jackass and he just brings so much joy to me because he makes me laugh so much. 

Least favorite character?

Ron. I hate getting on the ship in that sense but yeah, I don’t like Ron as a character although a lot of that comes from the fact that I just don’t see him ending up with someone like Hermione. This does not mean I don’t want to write with Ron because Molly loves all of her children regardless of their flaws but I don’t personally like him. I like him even less in the movies because they took away some of his kinder, more human moments and he was like 95% jackass. 

Favorite professor?

Minerva is an absolute boss, always, that never changes. She teaches the kids so much and she’s so supportive but at the same time she doesn’t take any shit. I will always have to defer to my home boy though because he’s an amazing teacher even though he is a giant asshole about it. He is multi talented because he can teach more than the one subject and he can teach them well. He fully understands his subjects and he takes them both so seriously, more seriously than his other professors I would say. He doesn’t express it the right way but he cares a lot about the welfare of the students. There’s a reason he loses his shit when Neville fucks up so badly at Potions that Severus is practically apoplectic, because the boy is dangerous and he doesn’t want to be responsible for a death or severe disfigurement. 

Favorite villan?

Bellatrix Lestrange. She’s a great villain in that she is so unstable and you don’t know what she’s going to be doing next really. She is the sort of villain where you are constantly on edge around her and we actually get to see her in action properly and we get a full, real sense of why she’s so terrifying. A lot of that was missing as far as it went for Voldemort because we didn’t get to see much of him or how he earned his reputation. 

Favorite weasley?

Molly, she is my girl but she is also super strong, super loving and she has dealt with so much in her life and so deals with it all with barely any complaint. She is so giving to everyone, she takes everyone in and is so welcoming and approachable and it’s not something that she thinks about doing, it’s just natural to her. 

Favorite marauder?

Remus because he isn’t a giant douche. Remus is also the one that seems more understandable to me. I think we’ve all been there at one point or another where we have seen an injustice and we have to decide what we are going to about it. He didn’t actually want to kill anyone, he didn’t take a savage delight or really any delight in what was going on and he’s apologetic about it. He doesn’t come up with excuses for his actions or lack of actions, he accepts the responsibility of what he’s done. 

Are there any characters you felt differently about in the movies versus the books?

Gilderoy Lockhart and that is just because Kenneth Branagh is just amazing, he is a stunning actor and I admire him greatly as a professional and he made Lockhart far more likeable.I actually enjoyed watching him in the movie whereas I hated reading him in the books. 

Which character do you think you’d have the closest relationship with?

Probably Molly if I’m being honest, we are quite similar in some senses. Severus would struggle to tolerate me but I think he still would put up with me. 

Which class would be your favorite?

I am a huge history fan so yeah, History of Magic would probably be quite high up on my list. I think I’d like DADA too, combat you know. 

What would your boggart be?

My daughter (from my dreams) desperately wanting my attention because she needs me but I’m too out of it to be able to help her, my darling Penny with my health conditions. Oddly specific I know but it is a massive fear. 

What position would you play in Quiddich?

Seeker probably, I have good eyesight and good hearing too. 

Would you be a pure-blood, half-blood or muggle born?

I would be half blood, just makes sense for me. My mother is Scottish and my father is English so it makes sense that I’d be half and half magically. 

What job would you want to have after leaving Hogwarts?

It really depends on what my specialisation would be to be honest. I might teach for a while, I really enjoyed being a tutor (which was my job up until September last year). 

Which of the Deathly Hallows would you choose?

The invisibility cloak. I don’t need great power in my life and my loved ones would drive me insane because I would want to see them so often, to touch them and I couldn’t. The invisibility cloak is remarkably useful. 

Which spell would be the most useful to learn?

A healing spell of some sort, always useful. 

Do you have any unpopular opinions about the series?

MY HOME BOY IS A GOOD MAN! It is not creepy that he was in love with Lily for that whole length of time. Stop having a go at my man, he’s not a creeper. 

Either or/if, would you rather:

Wash Snape’s hair, or listen to Lockhart ranting about himself for a day?

Do you even have to ask that question? I would massage that scalp aaaall day.   

Duel an elated Bellatrix, or an angry Molly?

Angry Molly would be terrifying but an elated Bellatrix is guaranteed to torture me to the point that I am desperately crying out to die. 

Travel to Hogwarts via Hogwarts Express, or a flying car?

Hogwarts Express, you can get up and walk around the train, stretch the legs which is good for me because of my nerve damage and pains in my hips etc. 

Kiss Voldemort or give Umbridge a bubble bath?

Kiss Voldemort, I do not want to see Umbridge naked. 

Ride a Hippogriff or ride a Firebolt?

Probably the Hippogriff, I think it’d be far more comfortable and I could actually talk to the Hipprogriff and not feel like a lunatic. Who talks to their broomstick eh?

Hallows Or Horcruxes?

The horcruxes are a fascinating and interesting concept especially when you look into the whole process and splitting the soul. Is the soul split every time that you kill? 

If you could own one of the three Hallows, which one would it be and why?

Invisibility cloak, this was addressed earlier. 

If you could bring one character back to life, who would it be?

This motherfucking question right here. I’ve been thinking about this question for hours, honest to Lords hours. You’d think I would want to bring Severus back to life but there is one person in particular who comes to mind because it’s just so tragic and I would want to change it so badly and that is Tonks. I want Teddy to grow up with his mother and Andromeda to not have to deal with the loss of her daughter as well as her husband. 

[mautadite]

december book round up

happy new year’s everyone! i had a pretty good book year this year; completed my goodreads challenge and surpassed it to boot, with a total of 148 books read. 10 less than last year, but still pretty good! :) i read 15 books in december that i’ll talk about now; i’ll hopefully post a yearly round up talking about the best and worst of 2019 some time today. also i’m not sure why goodreads has ballsed up the order but chronin was my last book of the year, not mstsk.

gideon the ninth - tamsin muir ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ very good, just, really good, i had a GOOD TIME with this book. very appealing to me specifically in the way stories about deep loyalty between two people often are. i loved all of the houses in some way, but especially i love gideon and her two lesbian brain cells. a reread is probably necessary for me to wrap my head around all of the world-building/magic/necro stuff but it was all very good. really looking forward to the sequels.  

being hers - anna stone ⭐️⭐️ lesbian bdsm romance between a grad student and a high-powered businesswoman. wasn’t particularly good, but also i didn’t hate it.

introducing mr. winterbourne - joanna chambers ⭐️⭐️⭐️ reread from earlier this year. really cute story of historical romance with a couple who have great chemistry.

mr. winterbourne’s christmas - joanna chambers ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ lysander and adam’s story continued a year or more later. i love house party stories; the ensemble cast thing really works for me somehow. this was super fun, really cute, and the women who i thought were lesbians turned out to indeed be lesbians. yaaaaas.

how to blow it with a billionaire - alexis hall ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ reread in preparation to read the last book of the series. now that i’ve read them all i think this is definitely my favourite, just for how tender it is, and the time they spend getting to know each other and how fucking nerdy caspian is.

how to belong with a billionaire - alexis hall ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ last book in the series. THEY GET HEIR HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!! i have to reiterate that billionaire romances aren’t my thing, and it’s only because i like alexis hall so much and i trust him that i gave this a chance. i’m glad i did. this third book took a few turns i wasn’t expecting, and the long periods of separation made me SO SAD. i loved what it said about abuse and recovery and kink. i just hated that the abuser didn’t die lol.

underground airlines - ben h. winters ⭐️⭐️⭐️ dystopian novel about a timeline in which abraham lincoln was assassinated way before he actually was in real life, and slavery was never abolished in the us (or other places? the book was very NA centric). now, in the 21st century a group of southern states known as the hard four still have legal slavery, and our protag is a black former slave working as a bounty hunter for the gov’t to capture runaways. my biggest problem with this novel is that it seems to cast ol’ abe as The Most Important Reason Why Slavery Was Abolished and because he never got the chance to do what he did then we’re supposed to think it’s completely believable that it never got abolished countrywide. i’m simplifying a lot of things in the book of course, but man, i couldn’t get over that. otherwise: neat premise, skilful writing, tender in unexpected ways. couldn’t help but headcanon the protag as queer.

life in bits - harper bliss, t.b. markinson ⭐️⭐️ contemporary lesbian romance. a successful photographer returns to her home town to convalesce after suffering a stroke; has a fling with a cute nurse that quickly turns into something more. i... didn’t really like it lol. :/ and i usually like harper bliss books a lot! idk how the authors handled the co-writing, but i didn’t like the writing style, and the main character just wasn’t appealing. and she was a grumpy older dyke which is usually CATNIP to me!! i just wasn’t interested in them as people, or in their relationship.

his cocky valet - cole mccade ⭐️⭐️⭐️ contemporary m/m romance about a spoilt rich kid who’s suddenly propelled to the top of his father’s business empire under traumatic circumstances, and the valet he hires who helps him keep his life on track. tropey as heck, but in a good way. got super intense kink-wise, in a way i didn’t exactly enjoy, but i think it was a good read overall

fake fiancee - clara reese ⭐️⭐️ f/f romance, two friends pretend to be fiancees but then fall in love for real. dawn needs to keep her uncle’s inheritance, which will allow her to open a home for battered women. her contractor gina has a sick brother who needs surgery. they pretend to be engaged to satisfy the will, and profit! cute, tropey in exactly the way i like, but the writing just didn’t have anything to recommend to it. hot tho.

borealis investigations 1-3 - gregory ashe ⭐️⭐️⭐️ two best friends operating a private detective agency that specialises in cases that involve the lgbtqia community. the best thing about this series was the chemistry between north and shaw. it was SO GOOD and the slow burn that moved them from best friends to lovers was CHEFS KISS so good. and all the delicious mutual pining. the mysteries in all three books were competent enough. kept me guessing. and i like ashe’s writing style and humour! but there were so many irritating things. an almost all lily-white cast in the first book (which is fine! write what you know!) with one single black character who was of course, predatory, evil and lusting after the innocent white boy. lots of little “haha sjws” moments (mostly involving pari, their indian temp whom i loved, but man she got done dirty) . making fun of neo-pronouns. fights about nothing to induce drama. and the writing style started to grate on me at some point. it’s frustrating because i could have so easily LOVED these books. instead i just liked them.

my sister, the serial killer - oyinkan brathwaite ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ mystery/thriller set in nigeria. korede is the quintessential long-suffering older sister to ayoola. ayoola is beautiful beyond words, gets all the attention, and everyone thinks she can do no wrong. but korede knows better, because ayoola has a bad habit of killing her boyfriends, and calling korede to help her clean up the mess. oops! the book starts with her third murder. i loved this; predictable in some ways, but well written, wsitty, and very engaging because of the culture and these terrible wonderful characters.

chronin volume 2 - alison wilgus ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ conclusion to the chronin two-parter; a fun time travelling romp that grabbed me by the whole heart. mirai struggles to confront the events that have transpired in this new past, has some revelations, and saves the damn day. i’m so glad this was my last book of the year, purely for how HAPPY it made me. i read the last forty or so pages with my hand on my heart. 

and that’s it for december, and 2019! it’s been an up and down year for me personally, but it’s been a good year in terms of books. really happy that i’ve been able to continue reading a lot; reading was the love of my teenage years and reconnecting with that, with just the love of getting lost in a book for a few hours... it’s great. admittedly i read a lot of schmoopy gay romance but hey guess what? romance novels are good actually.

for 2020 i hope to read more of my two other loves, science fiction and fantasy. and if i can get scifi and fantasy that’s also gay, even better! like i said i’ll post my yearly round up later today hopefully, but if you’re interested, here’s my year in books from goodreads in the mean time.

currently reading my first book of the decade: a land so wild by elyssa warkentin.

[everyoneprotector]

So, no one asked for this, but I’m doing it anyways because I want to write stuff with the JSE egos and I need a place to put my current headcannons and i strive on validation, so screw you I’m putting it here.

How I view/headcannon the egos under the cut 

Chase Brody Chase is a good Dad, loves his kids and (ex)wife and is the second youngest Split with Stacy due to financial strain and how much time the channel took up verses how much time he spent with her and the kids He has half custody, shared with Stacy. They swap who has the kids every week. They get together each easter and Christmas to make sure the kids have both parents then He loves his ‘brothers’ so much. Like, he sees them and goes ‘yes, they are my brother now and i will give that much love to them’ (except JJ, JJ is his son) He went through a very rough period but luckily Schneep helped him out of it. Now he knows he’s in a safe environment and he is (slowly) coming out of his depression, although there are still bad days His bad days can be very different. Sometimes he can’t get out of bed, sometimes he can’t eat or drink, sometimes he relapses into suicidal and self harm urges, but Schneep can generally tell when he needs to keep an eye on Chase. Chase may be the second youngest, but get him mad and you WILL be grounded and have your tv/phone/magic/patrol/coffee/book privileges taken off you (he’s looking at you Jackie) He found Jack after ‘Say Goodbye’ and was waiting outside the ER during KJSE He is single handedly maintaining Jacks youtube channel

Marvin the Magnificent Marvin is a relatively famous street magician, who does stage shows on occasion.  He is the second eldest He is probably the most responsible out of all of them, especially with money. He has a strict budget and will stick to it, because he doesn’t want them to be out on the street, especially when their creator is in a coma. He specialises in defensive and offensive magic, but when Chase was created he started to learn some ‘stupid parlour tricks’ to impress him (though he wont admit it) You know the stereotype of ‘protective older brother’? Yeah, he and Jackie wrestle for that title. When he does stage shows, it’s all stops out. His brothers always go to the first one, and Chase and JJ generally try to go to the second one as well. When Jack went into a coma in KJSE, he was away on a tour. When Chase disappeared during Observation he was performing a stage show, one that Chase had been to the night before. He feels like its his fault both of those times. He is a dork. Like, you have to get to know him but he is the biggest dork. He learnt latin because he thought he would need it but when he found out that he didn’t he’d just say nice stuff about his brothers in latin so they would think he’s doing spells. With his powers, he knows a lot of ways to use cards. One way is that he uses them as shields via a reenforcement hex, or uses them to locate his brothers. His card that helps him find Chase was torn in half after Chase disappeared, only making him more fearful for his younger brother. He is currently looking after the channel and trying to find where Chase is. He was the one that told his brothers, and Stacy and the kids.

Jackaboyman, or Jackie The eldest ego is also the most rebellious. He constantly puts his life on the line and gives everyone grey hairs. His brothers all want him to ‘please calm down’ and ‘stop throwing yourself into battle’ and ‘you don’t get an immunity to bullets you dumbass’ Being the eldest, he remembers when the house was so quiet and alone, and when his patrols end later than normal, and Chase and Schneep aren’t awake to reprimand him for being out so late, he normally goes on patrol again, because he hates the silence and the darkness, as it reminds him of [redacted] He point blank refuses to back out of a fight. He has the stupidity and bravado of pre-serum Captain America but with powers Speaking of powers, his powers include: Being able to tell when someone is distressed, x-ray vision, keen hearing, superior agility, and tentative hacking/coding skills (these are cannon powers), super strength and flight. This boy is so self sacrificial that if it weren’t for Schneep, he would have ended up dead by now. No one knows how he managed without Schneep. During ‘Say Goodbye’ he was on patrol. During KJSE he tried to stop Anti, and put up a good fight too, until he was knocked out by Anti. He was on patrol when Chase went missing during Observation. He holds the guilt, because he thinks that if he was there and was stronger for ANY of them, he could have saved them.

Henrik von Schneeplestein Henrik is the middle ego, older than Chase and JJ but younger than Marvin and Jackie, although unlike most middle siblings, they don’t expect him to be like Jackie or Marvin, and they don’t expect him to dot on Chase and JJ.  Henrik is very caring, even without the standards they try not to put on him. He might not be the best at budgeting, but he is the best at making sure that they have enough food/water/medical supplies. Henrik is a doctor who used to work in a children’s hospital, but he currently works in a base hospital. He still wears the bright coloured shirts to any appointment’s with children though! He became Jacks personal doctor after he went into a coma, due to him being the only doctor in their family. He is this close to throwing hands with Jackie. He can’t fight for shit, but he will throw hands if that hero steps through the door AFTER 3am. He blames himself for Jack’s coma, because he feels like he should have been able to fix him before Anti came in, but he doesn’t blame himself for Chase disappearing. He was in an operation at his work, and he knows he can’t fight Anti, so he would have made things worse for Chase if he had of been there. After the 9 months he was away, he refused to talk about it to anyone. They all pressed for answers, especially Chase, but he still refuses. He still gets nightmares from it. He hopes that what happened to him wont happen to Chase, but he refuses to get his hopes up, he knows that it will most likely happen to Chase too.

---TUMBLR I HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS POST FOR LITERAL WEEKS WHERE ARE THE FUCKING LINE BREAKS---

Jameson Jackson This boi is pure, he is the youngest and so fricken pure It took a long time for him to be trusted by the other egos, due to him being born during Jack’s coma. Chase is the first to trust him after the essential baby almost set himself on fire trying to make himself dinner without waking up or upsetting the others. Because he was corrupted by Anti when he was ‘born’, he doesn’t have many actual memories of what happened, but he knows that Jackie saved him. Chase named him, but it was Marvin who gave him the speech cards. He is so naive. Like, tell that boy anything he’ll probably believe you. On the flip side though, he is terrified of Anti. He blames himself for Anti kidnapping Chase, thinking that if he was there he could have saved him, or traded himself for Chase. His brothers all feel kinda bad for how they treated him when they first met him, but he has long since forgiven them. If Anti were to become good (something that i do not feel comfortable with, but that is up to Jack) JJ would probably be the first to accept him, but the last to trust him His meetings with his brothers were, let’s just say, less than pleasant. I would go into more detail but the post is long as it is. You can ask for their meetings i wanna go into detail and write them out anyways.

[ninaahelvar]

The Stakeout (1/5)

Summary: In order to get all the information they can, the detective duo, Bakugou and Uraraka, must go on a stakeout. But close proximity may force some underlying feelings to come to the surface. Also known as “Bakugou had a really bad date and it gives him perspective” 

AO3

A/N: Yo - big shoutout to my beta and cowriter DoesItSaySassOnMyUniform for putting up with me and my stupid ass, she also came up with this idea so big props to her. I'm currently working on this fic, so chapter schedule is all over the place - but please enjoy! xx

The building stood, disguised amongst the others, blending into the landscape as much as a federal detective agency can. The sun was creeping past the clouds, eager to alert the day….and Bakugou rolled his eyes. He hitched up his backpack on his shoulder, walking to the security gate. “Good morning Sir,” the agent on duty greeted, opening the gate and stepping aside for Bakugou. He always did that - opened the gate for him. Bakugou hated it. What? He was too high and mighty to open a fucking gate for himself?

“Tch, whatever,” he spat out, begrudgingly giving the man a nod anyway. He kept on walking, coffee in hand. It was still early, so if he was lucky, none of those shitty extras would have arrived yet. Finally, some fucking peace and quiet.

“Hey, Bakugou!” A voice called. Fucking kidding - Really?

He kept his eyes forward, not even flinching at the obnoxious volume this early in the morning. Walking past the front doors, pushing through the few people that all stood around, he could see his escape - just a little more.

“Dude! Bakugou!”

The elevator was so close now, he just had a couple more meters.

“Move,” he growled at the people blocking the doors and slid in as swiftly as possible. He pressed the close button, deliberately staring at the floor. He wasn’t running dammit. He was just… strategically retreating.

It had absolutely nothing to do with the night before, and just how horrifically awkward it had been.

He’d even liked that shirt and the restaurant that he was now conveniently banned from.

The elevator door was taking too long to close, and he glared at the lobby. He could just make out the pointy red tips of his friend’s shitty hair as it maneuvered through the hustle and bustle of the headquarters entrance. He pressed the button again, more frantic this time, and dared anyone else in the elevator to say something. They didn’t, all pointedly looking away from him. Finally, with a ding, the doors began to close, his shoulders slumping in relief.

Thud.

A rock hard arm shoved itself through the small gap, and the elevator doors whined before releasing. “Bakugou! Almost missed you,” Kirishima said, pushing his way into the space. “It’s so loud in here -” It wasn’t - “So I completely get how you didn’t hear me calling you.”

Bakugou huffed, taking a sip of his coffee to buy himself a little time. He knew what the shitty haired agent was going to rattle on about. And for the love of all things good, Bakugou really didn’t want to fucking answer.

Tinny music met his ears as the doors finally closed - fucking traitors - and he tried not to seem too bothered. It felt like a slow crawl up the four stories, but right now, he wanted to blow the roof off and blast his way there to avoid Kirishima’s nagging questions. The hardening quirk of his had worn off, but he still clicked his tongue, the edge of his shirt sleeve torn. Then, he looked over to Bakugou and he felt himself wanting to leave his fucking body.

“You okay man?”

“Fine,” Bakugou grumbled, sipping at his coffee. The third floor already. Maybe Bakugou was having a lucky day after all.

“So, how was -”

“Can these doors hurry the fuck up?” Bakugou groaned just as the elevator chimed and the doors slowly crawled open. Bakugou, wishing for death more than life, pushed through the steel as quickly as he could and started to walk towards his desk.

“Hey! Bakugou! Dude!” he heard behind him, but Bakugou kept walking. If Kaminari caught up with Kirishima, Bakugou wouldn’t have to to have this conversation, and nothing made him more excited than that dumb haired bastard.

On the approach to his desk, he caught a glimpse of her, hair falling around her face as she looked over a file. Shit. Uraraka. She was fucking early - normally he had at least half an hour to himself before she showed up. Nope. He did not need this. He could see her pulling that stupid ass grin on her lips, mocking him for the night before. If she even mentioned it, he’d blow up the fucking building.

It was definitely not his lucky fucking day.

Then, as she moved around to Bakugou’s desk, he wanted to rush up and stop her, only to see her handling their equipment. Uraraka had wanted to get a grasp of fixing their items instead of taking them to Mei every fucking week. She’d managed to maintain her earpieces on her own, but she also wanted to get her shitty hands on Bakugou’s wrist guards. They broke more than any other item. He’d told that stupid mechanic to make them bigger to be able to withstand his quirk, but no - some shit about stealth or whatever, Bakugou didn’t care. He wasn’t paying for it when it broke.

At that moment, though, he wished Uraraka was just on her side of the desk and was taking care of her own shitty equipment that he knew was broken too - the klutz. Then, she looked up at him - the fucking grin pulled onto her face in a second flat - and she fixed up her bomber jacket, tongue touching the edge of her lip as she held in a laugh. Bakugou bound his hand into his backpack strap and began taking it off as he moved to his desk.

“Did you get home okay? No further incidents,” she asked, and as Bakugou threw his bag down, he stepped into her, hovering and glaring at her the best he could. If she said anything, he might actually kill her.

“Watch your fucking mouth,” he threatened and she giggled to herself before raising her chin at him. She stood her ground and shrugged.

“I’m sure your date said the exact same thing,” she smiled before turning on her heels and going to sit at her desk.

“Come here, round face and say it to my face,” he challenged, turning around to continue to fight with her when Kirishima was basically in Bakugou’s face. Bakugou almost jumped back, but instead, he grimaced at the sight of his friend so close.

“What is she talking about?”

“Yeah, Bak, what am I talking about?” Uraraka said, chin resting in her palm as she leaned on her desk. She was getting on his last nerve. He really hated that smile.

“Go float yourself,” he snapped and Uraraka stuck her tongue out at him. Fucking child. He wanted to fire off a blast at her, but the captain had been threatened Bakugou’s job if he did it one more time. “She’s talking about….the date.” Bakugou grit his teeth, seething as he rolled his eyes and watched Kirishima light up.

Shitty hair bastard.

“How did it go?!”

“Shitty!” Bakugou spat and Kirishima backed up. He glanced to Uraraka who was fiddling with her ankle braces, but her eyes were completely focused on him - containing a laugh, clear by the reddish hue her face was turning. Bakugou rolled his eyes and combed his hands through his hair.

“What happened dude?”

Bakugou glanced to Uraraka, her laugh caught in her hand as she started to sink into her desk. Clicking his tongue, he pat Kirishima’s shoulder. “It just didn’t go well, can we drop the shitty subject?” he asked, and Kirishima shrugged, playing a beat into Bakugou’s arm as he bounded towards his desk.

Rolling his eyes, Bakugou went and sat at his desk, slumping into his chair as he groaned. Why was his life surrounded by absolute rejects? He didn’t have time for them to be stupid and weird all the time. He had a fucking job to do. “Our little secret, huh?” Uraraka whispered, leaning over to his side of the desk. Underneath the table, he kicked at her shin, and she buckled down into her seat.

“I’ll gladly kill you and cover up your murder,” he said, eyeing her down, even as he remained in his chair. Uraraka smiled as she brought her leg up onto her seat, rubbing at the place where he kicked.

“You might one day. But I think you like my company too much,” she shrugged, those big cheeks with the ridiculous pink in them made him want to punch into his desk and kill whoever made him go on that date in the first place.

Kirishima.

Bakugou glanced over his shoulder, seeing the red hair bounce as he excited prepped for his next case.

He would be dead by the end of the day.

“You’re fucking lying to yourself, Round face,” he muttered, hands running over his face. He heard Uraraka giggle before her chair slid across the tiles.

“Sure,” she said, clicking her tongue. Her hand met his shoulder and he looked up at her. There was something odd about her that day...he didn’t know how to describe it, but he could see there was something up with her face. He couldn’t make it out. “Precinct meeting in ten, save you a seat,” she said, already moving off to the kitchen.

“Stop bringing doughnuts to the -” he started but saw the skip in her step as she went. “You’re not fucking listening to me,” he mumbled to himself, watching as Uraraka moved to the kitchen area, already gazing at the fresh box of doughnuts, fingers dancing over the lid as though she were contemplating which one to get. Why she bothered pretending was beyond him - she always grabbed the strawberry one.

Bakugou shook his head and leaned back into his chair, head hanging back as he tried to think of how his life ended up like this.

How he got roped into being her partner?

*

The world was unprepared for quirks, not sure where to place all the people that acquired the impossible. There were times when Bakugou was young when he thought there should be heroes running around and saving the world - but that wasn’t life, and he knew he had to be the hero the world wasn’t providing. When he heard that there was a complete detective agency that specialised in fighting crime with quirks to help kick ass. He studied, he improved his quirk - he became what he needed to be in order to be the best.

He aced the written and physical exams but was surprised when he read the name of his intended partner. A random selection - a bullshit excuse for laziness. He got paired with a loser reject - Uraraka Ochako. Scrunching up the paper, he started towards his desk, finding a girl standing there, nervously glancing around and fiddling with her fingers.

Probably her - a complete waste of his time. If her quirk was useless, he was dropping her the moment he could. He stood beside her, her attention lost to space, still playing with her thumbs, glancing around and biting her lip. Bakugou huffed and put his hands into his pockets.

“Hey round face,” he said, standing close to her side. She jumped when she heard his voice, but her brow furrowed as she took in his words.

“...Are you calling me fat?”

Bakugou stared back, scrunching up his face as he shook his head. “What? No? If I was calling you fat, I’d have called you fat face.”

“...Thanks. I guess,” she shrugged, playing with the long strands of hair beside her face.

“Anyway, what’s your damn quirk?” he asked.

“Does it matter?” she asked back curiously.

“Of course it fucking does. I gotta know what you can do in the field, don’t I?”

She turned to him, looking him over as though he were something to show off. He scrunched up his face and stared her down. He wanted an answer goddammit, why was she taking so fucking long? “I can make things float by taking away their gravity.” Bakugou thought on it for a moment - not bad...not simple either, some cool tricks could come from a combo of their quirks.

“... That’s… not shitty,” he mumbled, then, her hand reached out and punched at his shoulder. Not a heavy blow by any feat, but enough to knock him off centre and off his concentration.

“Come on hot shot, what’s yours?” she asked, suddenly standing her ground to him, hands on her hips and a smile pinned to her face.

“I can explode things with my sweat.”

Her nose scrunched up. “Gross.”

“Huh? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Well I don’t know, you were looking awfully sweaty before. I guess now I know why.” She shrugged and put her hands behind her back.

“It’s only the sweat on my hands,” he explained sharply.

“Oh? So your face has no excuse?” she replied with a smile and Bakugou felt his hands start to crackle, hands ready to fire.

“You wanna come closer and say that again?” he challenged and she scoffed.

“No thanks, I already took a shower today, I need another one just by standing next to you,” she said, trying to step past him. Bakugou took the step alongside her, getting closer to Uraraka than before.

“Yeah well you’re gonna have to get used to it now that we’re partners.” He smirked, waiting for her to react. She scoffed.

“Buy more deodorant. We’re gonna need it.” Uraraka pat his shoulder before moving on. Clicking his tongue, he turned and watched her walk away, a skip in her step as the nerves suddenly seemed like a distance memory.

He might actually enjoy this.

*

He fucking hated this.

These precinct meetings were ridiculous and boring. Sure, Bakugou wanted to figure out all these quirk crimes, but he wasn’t exactly fulfilled to hear from the useless detectives on his so-called ‘team’. The cases were all the same - some psycho with a quirk gets a god complex and decides to wreak havoc on the city, and they found the guy and arrest him. He never understood the meetings for it. But, he sat through them, paying attention, and making notes in case there were overlaps in any ongoing investigations the partners had.

“Kirishima, Kaminari, let us know about your case,” Aizawa groaned, sitting in his seat again. The bags under his eyes were dark, the lack of sleep so clear, and his exhaustion evident with how he was dressed. Sure, he wore a suit to work, but he really didn’t put any effort into it - tie so loose it was barely tied on, stains all over his suit shirt and the blazer was fraying at the edges. Kirishima and Kaminari bumped their fists together, before standing and moving to the front of the room.

To his side, Uraraka was face down on the desk, her cheek pressed into the counter and her eyes shut, steadily breathing in her sleep. Rolling his eyes, Bakugou kicked at the leg of her chair, which jolted her away. “Round face, pay attention,” he snapped under his breath and Uraraka licked at her lips, trying to seem more awake than she was.

“Sorry, long night,” she yawned, looking over at him with a face growing increasingly more red, “sorry,” she whimpered as she suppressed her laugh.  

“Asshole,” he mumbled, sinking into his chair, listening to whatever the pair were going on about. They really lost the point of their investigation when they disagreed about the colour of the perp’s hair.

The derailing led to Aizawa getting up and urging the pair back to their seats.

“Bakugou, Uraraka, let’s hear your case,” Aizawa groaned, and the pair stood, Uraraka heading to the front with a few different notes in hand. She was always more excited to boast than Bakugou was - when he had a lead, he was front and centre, but with a case that had been cold for nearly five months, Bakugou wasn’t exactly excited to get talking about it.

Standing behind Uraraka, hands in his pockets and leaning against the back wall, he watched as she straightened her shoulders - a roll in them before she found her confidence. He had watched it a number of times, the calm she needed before she took off for a flying start.

“We’ve been tracking down a drug known as Trigger, known for boosting a person’s quirk. This isn’t something new, but it’s becoming deadly, enhancing quirks to dangerous levels. A lot of individuals within gangs or criminal organisations have used this and have killed multiple people. It’s becoming an almost normal drug for these people, and we are running out of options before criminals get a hold of this drug for permanent usage,” she explained. It was the fourth time they had presented the same details of the case - the case that never wanted to get solved apparently.

“Do you have something or will this be your fifth month on a cold case?” Aizawa commented and Bakugou’s fists clenched inside his pockets.

Uraraka suddenly beamed, nodding along to Aizawa’s question. Well, this was fucking news to Bakugou. “I heard from Izuku that there might be someone we can chec -”

“No.” It came out before Bakugou could stop it.

“Why? Do you have something?” Aizawa perked. Bakugou’s jaw shut tightly, trying to think of anything else but working with the nerd.

“No. I just….don’t need to work with that reject,” Bakugou said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You’re getting this closed, Bakugou. Cops are not any less effective than our agency,” Aizawa sighed, relaxing back into his seat and waving the pair off. They went back to their desk, Bakugou slouching into his chair once more and

“I’m sure that’s it,” Uraraka held her lips shut.

“I can punch you in the teeth right now,”

“Dare you,” she whispered. Instead, she giggled, and Bakugou’s hands clenched, head falling hard into the desk in front of him. The room turned to him, but the meeting continued.

God, this was fucking embarrassing.

“That reject still calls you Kacchan too…” Uraraka whispered quickly to him, and Bakugou shot up, leaning in close so no one else could hear.

“So!? Why do I care?” he seethed.

“Kaminari called you Bakugou once and you told him he was being too casual.” Uraraka stared back, eyebrow raised. Bakugou clicked his tongue, huffing as he sat back into his seat again.

“...Listen I don’t care what that nerd calls me but... it’d be weird,” he said.

Uraraka leaned in suddenly, far too close than usual. Bakugou swallowed as he turned to her. “Why?” Uraraka asked, eyes wide and smile so big, it was almost frightening. Bakugou rolled his eyes.

“You know damn well why, shut your fucking mouth.” Uraraka chuckled as she sat back into her seat and waited for the meeting to end.

This was going to be a long day.

*

Bakugou sat in the driver’s seat, fixing up the wrist guards around his arms. The fucking things weren’t fitting properly and it was driving him nuts. They were sat outside the police precinct, waiting for the nerd to walk out and meet them - but Bakugou didn’t know what kinda fight might erupt at any moment. Uraraka was holding a finger in her ear as she adjusted her earpiece. It had been a long time since Uraraka had been sick from using her quirk, but she still liked the ear pieces above all else - they never threw her off her game and made sure she could still be the best detective in the agency. Well...apart from Bakugou.

“Why do you even hang out with this reject anyway? You dating him?” Why did he ask? He didn’t care. But there was something irritating about the thought of them together.

“What?” Uraraka scoffed, laughing and trying to play off the moment, but her face was going red like a damn cherry. “Izuku? Oh no! Oh no no no! We’re just - we’re not, I’m not -”

“Please shut up. You’re like a broken record right now,” Bakugou groaned, looking back at the police station. “You’re not dating him, but you like him right? That’s why you’re so obsessed with him, following him around.”

“You’re only mad cause we were together when he got the call to the restaurant,” she reminded and the night before flashed before his eyes. No. No. NO!

“Shut up,” he spat back quickly, and Uraraka shook her head, “but you like him?” he repeated.

Why the fuck was he still asking? It didn’t make any sense to him - he wasn’t interested in any personal matters. She could fuck whoever she liked. Just not him. Apparently.

“Why does it matter? We’re just friends, but you’re acting like its something huge,” she grumbled, shifting back into her seat. She wasn’t paying attention to him anymore - spite grilled into her features. She definitely didn’t like the conversation topic. Maybe there was something else behind it.

“You’re the one sticking to his fucking heel, not me,” Bakugou replied.

When they were paired together, Bakugou thought it may have been for nothing that they were partners - that they couldn’t work how he wanted them to. But Uraraka proved him wrong every time they met, rising to his standards and staying there. He realised it years ago that she may have been pressured by him, but she knew she wanted to be as great as he was.

Soon, out of the station doors stood the green-haired bastard from Bakugou’s childhood. He had definitely beefed out since they were kids, but he was quirkless and unable to do much else. He wanted to protect people - and so he became a cop. Pathetic. Not useless, but it was sad in a way. “Izuku is here,” Uraraka said, unbuckling her seatbelt and going for the door, “stay in the car or I’ll kill you,” she said, and Bakugou scoffed.

“I’d like to see you try.”

“I have needles hidden in the car, fucking try me,” she threatened, slamming the door behind her.

“Fine,” he huffed, settling into his chair. The thought nagged as he watched Uraraka walk to the nerd, “does she actually...” he whispered to himself, looking up at Uraraka to see her hands edging towards each other - her own way of threatening Bakugou. He stared back stunned.

Wow.

She was getting better at the intimidation thing, he’d give her that.

Getting back into the car, Uraraka was frantic compared to her departure. She gave Bakugou an address and he was off, already moving to where he knew it to be. No questions. No hesitation. If Uraraka was out of breath and urging him to move - he fucking bolted. Uraraka reached over to Bakugou and made sure to activate the wrist guards on his left. His right was still in need of turning on - but he would deal with it.

“Make sure to -”

“Got it,” she replied without a beat. Reaching into the glove compartment, she got the handcuffs out, shoving them into the jacket pocket. He gave her a quick glance over - she was wearing the khaki coloured bomber jacket, the grey singlet, black jeans and boots could pass her off as a civilian. The badge on her hip, less so, but her jacket could cover it. Bakugou was used to getting away with civilian attire - leather jacket, button down shirt and jeans that had a little give in them, it was lazy, but paired with a tie he could get away with looking professional.

“Dealer is Hotta Ichiro. His secondary is Kugizaki Soga, that’s who we’re getting to,” Uraraka said, her hand on the back of his neck as she fiddled with his collar, snatching the tie off. Thank god. Bakugou reached up and unbuttoned his shirt.

“Quirk?” he asked.

“Spike. Can create spikes from his body, mainly in his hands and feet. No idea if he’s on Trigger and what he’d be like if he was on it,” she explained and he nodded.

“Got it,” he replied, turning to her briefly, “you in first?”

“Wanna gamble for it?” she laughed but Bakugou shook his head, smirking to himself.

“Nah, trust you. Just get in and be quick, no -”

“No sudden hesitation, no distractions. Get in and out. I got it,” she repeated. Uraraka wasn’t irritated - more so, she was focused, concentrating on the moment. She used to freak out if she was going undercover for anything. But she was so much better now - she was going to get this guy.

They knew the alley that he was going to be in. They split up - Uraraka on one side, Bakugou blocking the guy’s exit in case he ran. Tucking his hands into his pockets, he watched the guy stand against a wall, leg bouncing as he kept glancing around. Bakugou pulled out his phone, pretending to talk and avoid suspicion. Most criminals bought it. This dipshit seemed to as well.

Then, he saw Uraraka. She looked skittish, in the best way, faking a drug withdrawal and making her way to the dealer. She looked over her shoulder, hands in her pockets and got close to the dealer.

“Are you Kugizaki? Hotta said you’d be the guy to go to,” she asked, hugging herself closer, her arms jittery as she waited for him to hand her something. He watched her for a moment before he nodded.

“Yeah. You got the money?” he asked, and Uraraka reached into her pocket.

“Oh yeah,” she said, coughing lightly as she searched her person. It was Bakugou’s moment to strike.

“Kugizaki Soga,” Bakugou called out, raising his arm up and showing off the badge on his hip. Kugizaki turned, his brow furrowed as he stared at Bakugou before his eyes went wide and he staggered backwards, “just the guy I’ve been meaning to see,” Bakugou smirked, racing forward. The guy turned, only to be faced with the perky round face of Bakugou’s partner.

“Hi,” she smiled, touching the guy’s arm and activating her quirk. The guy began to float in the air, and Uraraka nudged his feet, knocking him upside down in the air, his pockets emptying in a few seconds. The guy looked at her with confusion until Uraraka moved her jacket to the side to reveal the same badge Bakugou had. Bending down, Uraraka picked up a few small vials of a clear serum. “Oh, and look at this, exactly what we wanted to find.”

“Trigger, most likely,” Bakugou commented, as Uraraka pulled out the handcuffs, “you’re coming with us, asshole,” he smirked, and Uraraka released her quirk, making Kugizaki drop to the ground and getting the cuffs to go around his wrists.

“Shit, watch it,” Uraraka hissed, shaking her hand as Bakugou caught the sight of blood. Looking down at Kugizaki, he saw the spikes protruding from his hands, small drops of blood on the edge of a couple. Bakugou’s hands clenched tight as he bent to the perp.

“Don’t piss her off. You’re gonna make both of us mad, and we’re the worst fucking team to piss off,” Bakugou warned as he picked Kugizaki up and pushed him to the car. “You gonna be fine or will we need to take the hand?” he asked, opening the car door and pushing the guy inside the backseat.

“His or mine?” she asked with a smirk. He shook his head as he closed the backdoor to the car. Uraraka clutched onto her opposite hand, the shake a little more clear to him now than it was before. She was covering up some pain.

“Yours,” he corrected her. She shrugged.

“I’ll be fine.” She smiled before moving around to the passenger side door, sliding in as Bakugou followed after.

Back at their precinct, they had placed Kugizaki in an interrogation room as the partners and their captain stood behind the glass. Kugizaki was chained to the desk, trying to use his quirk to snap off the handcuffs to no effect. Aizawa activated his quirk, the spikes in Kugizaki’s skin retreating quickly. The dealer looked around baffled, but stayed in his seat patiently.

“You have a plan?” Aizawa asked, turning to the pair as his hair fell down around his shoulders.

“Good cop bad cop?” Bakugou asked.

Aizawa sighed before nodding. “Try and avoid actually hurting the guy this time. Too many reports,” he said, as Bakugou smiled to himself and left the room with Uraraka on his heels. Aizawa wandered off to his office, already hounded by other detectives who nagged him. The pair shook their head before readying themselves for the interrogation. Turning the corner, they both entered, watching the knock-off version of Kirishima try to spew off some insults. He lived up to the spike quirk - hair and teeth spiked and sharpened to match his personality.

Uraraka moved around the desk, sitting in her chair and smiling brightly to the dealer in front of her. She was fun to watch in action. Bakugou stood next to her, hands pressed into the desk as Uraraka placed the few vials of drugs in front of herself.

“There’s a drug on the street - a quirk enhancing drug. You were found with a prototype on you, we know that you have a supplier. Tell us everything you know about Trigger,” Bakugou questioned, hands steaming against the metal slab. Both Uraraka and Kugizaki noticed, his hands lifting from the table as he watched Bakugou’s rage a little harder.

“I don’t know anything man,” Kugizaki swallowed, relaxing back into his chair. Licking at his lips, Bakugou moved around to the dealer’s side, hand pressed firmly into the man’s shoulder.

“I’m getting really tired of this game, nerd. Tell me what you know.”

“Barking up the wrong tree,” Kugizaki laughed, shoulder falling slowly as Bakugou’s grip tightened.

“Don’t make me ask again, what do you know about Trigger?” Bakugou barked, his voice ragged as he stared down the man.  

“Bite me,” Kugizaki said in a laugh. Bakugou’s hand fell from his shoulder and he looked towards Uraraka, nodding. Kugizaki caught the look, laughing a little harder as Bakugou went and sat beside his partner. “So what? Are you going to play good cop bad cop here? You gonna act all nice to me, lady?” he asked, directly laughing at the pair. Bakugou folded his arms, reclined into his chair and scoffed.

“Actually, she’s the bad cop.”

“He’s just an asshole.”

He glanced over to Uraraka, watching the smirk glide onto her lips delicately. She reached into her jacket pocket, taking out a container and emptying the contents from it. Across the table spilled a large quality of thumbtacks and needles. “What’s with the thumbtacks and needles?” Kugizaki asked, his eyes darting between them and Uraraka.

“Nothing,” she lied, activating her quirk and the needles rocketed into the air straight above Kugizaki’s head.

“Wow! Wait, you can’t do this!” he yelled, frantically pulling at his restraints.

“Do what?” she asked, voice high and mocking the man’s fear.

“This is police brutality,” he said back, voice feeble compared to hers. Uraraka leaned in, hunched over on the desk. She was a wonder to watch work - Bakugou could really sit back and watch this all go down.

“I’m not a cop, I’m better,” she said, and Bakugou nodded, “and it’s not brutality, it’s psychological warfare. Very different things,” she shrugged, reclining back into her seat.

“You can’t do this,” he tried but Uraraka shrugged once more.

“I’m not doing anything. Answer and things will remain the same. No injuries, no wounds. And guess what? You’ll get a nice little plea deal for cooperating with us, isn’t that nice?” she explained, her hands edging closer and closer together as she teased.

“It’s only fair,” Bakugou said, “you better answer quick, she’s got touchy fucking hands, and she loves playing this trick on people.”

“I’ll talk, just drop the sharp objects,” Kugizaki yelped, sinking into his chair.

“Sorry, gotta wait for you to leave for that,” Uraraka said.

“Are you serious?” he exclaimed.

“I can easily just drop them on your head if you’d like,” she replied, edging her fingertips together.

“But you -”

“She means it, fuckhead. Start talking,” Bakugou demanded, and the fucker jumped, sinking into his seat and shook as he recounted everything he knew. The pair smiled as they noted everything they needed to and they had all their information they could give Aizawa.

They had Kugizaki escorted off, talking with their lawyers about a potential plea deal - that was something they had promised, and it was the least they could fucking do after they basically mentally tormented him. Admittedly, it was a trick they had tried before and had worked, but the threats were wearing thin as a tactic. They needed a better plan than just...outwardly threatening their suspect.

In Aizawa’s office, the two sat down and waited for Aizawa to say anything. But he remained silent, staring at them as though he was analysing everything that could have gone wrong. Bakugou looked to Uraraka - she seemed nervous. A little twitch here and there, her teeth nipping at her bottom lip and hands clenching and loosening over and over again. He wanted to reached over and stop them. But Bakugou remained in his seat, waiting.

“Did you hurt him?” Aizawa asked after a long time.

“Is mentally scarring him counted?” Uraraka asked.

“Yes.”

“Then possibly,” she chuckled. Aizawa rubbed at the bridge of his nose, the irritation of it

“You seriously need to stop that. We’re gonna get a lawsuit coming at us any day now,” Aizawa groaned, hands still on his face.

“We’ve got a lead, finally, though,” Uraraka chimed in quickly. Aizawa stared them down before sighing and gesturing from them both to hurry up,

“Give me the rundown,” Aizawa urged, leaning forward in his seat as Bakugou smirked. Uraraka looked to him and nodded, letting him explain the main parts of the case. He rattled off all the information he could - making sure to include the arrest and how they planned to proceed. Uraraka took over when Aizawa questioned their next move for the case itself.

“So, within the next week, we’ll see some activity. The only problem is Kugizaki can’t tell us a date or time, because everything happens spur of the moment. In order to do that, we’ll need to scope out the location as much as possible,” she explained and Aizawa gave over a slow nod, leaning back into his chair as he contemplated everything they had told him.

Then, he leaned forward, grabbing at his phone and typing things into his computer as he started to organise everything in a few moments. They watched him act in a split second, barely even acknowledging that they were there. Then, he looked up at them. “I’m going to authorise a stakeout of the building, you two will lead the investigation. I’ll have everything set up and you two will be my main team in charge,” he said with a nod, leaving Bakugou stunned.

Bakugou’s mouth dropped open slightly. “Yes, sir!” Uraraka almost cheered as she got up. Bakugou couldn’t move. Tugging on his arm, Uraraka wrenched him from his seat and pulled him out of the room. As they closed the door, Uraraka started to jump up and down, clearly excited about the prospect of it all...but...

“I hate stakeouts,” Bakugou groaned.

“But look on the bright side, you get to be with me for several days with no other interactions,” Uraraka smiled, tongue in between her teeth as she beamed. She began tugging on his arm again. He snatched it away and swore to himself.

“Can someone hit me with a fucking truck?”

Uraraka giggled loudly as she punched his arm. “Come on! I’m fun!” she said, heading to their desk, dancing about as she high-fived anyone that would give her the time of day. He watched her skip and dance, the most ridiculous and frantic actions as she let pure joy take over her.

Bakugou stood, hands in his pockets, trying his hardest not to smile as she did. Sure, he liked the fact that this stupid fucking case might be solved...but he didn’t want to do a stakeout. Stakeouts were draining - alert every second, stuck in a small space with another person for such a long time. They had the tendency of making you go stir crazy, and if it was anything like their last one, it was going to get weird.  And Bakugou doesn’t want to feel like he did last time.

*

Uraraka grinned, face flushed and breath heavy as she leaned into him, the alcohol rushing to her head. Her weight pushed into his side, too hot through their clothes and when she swayed it made him stumble. He reached to stabilize her on instinct, her hands landing on his chest as she looked up at him. Her eyes were hazy and unfocused, filled with something he couldn’t bring himself to understand, catching him off guard…

[allyjellybelly]

An open letter to the Facebook commenters on the video about my assault

...Because I can't respond to them without giving away my identity and inviting trolls. Sorry its long, im an angry bitch who needed somewhere to vent safely

To all the people attacking refugees and immigrants blaming them ( my attacker was not white, likely southeast asian), fuck you so very much. I am not a vessel for your bigotry and hate, I am not the pale damsel in distress robbed of innocence by the scary foreign man. The man who assaulted me was not white, that does not mean he was not born and bred here, don't kid yourselves, horrible people come from all over the world, including australia.

My best friend who immigrated to Australia was with me when it happened. she took his photo, calmed me down, called my mother, made a statement to the police. She did all this being amazingly calm and supportive. How dare you comment that immigrants are not welcome when she is probably the only reason I have an opportunity to take him down.

To the person who said "it's fake moron" go get a life, you piece of shit. My pain was and still is real. I'm sorry you've been brainwashed so much to believe that a reputable news show would fabricate a story. Maybe talk to multiple women about things of this nature, you'd be surprised at how common this is

To the people tagging others telling them to stay safe, I commend you, but also caution you. I was on a packed train I thought would be safe, I wasn't. There was very little I could have done to stop and avoid the assault, I was cornered. The world is not a safe place, we do what we can to try and stay safe, but bad things still happen, and it is not on us (particularly women) to avoid assault; it is on perpetrators not to assault us.

On to the people who said I was lucky. Nope. Assault is not a gift, it is not being deemed worthy of some man's attention. It is a crime. He assaulted my dignity, my mental health, my bodily autonomy. He assaulted me.

To my auntie, who did not comment, but instead sent a message to another aunt complaining that she was not told I was assaulted. You dispicable self centred witch. It has been over 24 hrs since the piece aired, and I have not heard a single thing from you. You had the audacity to complain that you didn't know I was assaulted but still cannot find the courage to even see how I am? Fuck you I'll bring a girl as a date to Christmas and kiss her in front of your perfect 3 year old grandchild ( ok he IS a cute kid). I dislike everything about you and your performative Christianity.

Finally I want more than anything to say to the anonymous girl who shared her story with mine (and as an extension victims of sexual assault); you were so brave, so eloquent and I felt the exact same way, that in not reacting in a big way we kept ourselves safe, we had no idea what these men were capable of, how they could retaliate. I'm pretty sure you're reading those awful comments just like me, and if I could make them go away for you I would. I would become Judith slaying holofernes for you, I would behead a man for my people's safety, bloody but triumphant.

Finally please report your assaults if you can. the way in which the police have responded has been nothing but positive and has helped me so much. From the senior constable specialising in this crime, who took my case ' we don't care if it happened an hour ago or a month ago, we want people to report these crimes'

They tracked this guys myki, got multiple pictures of him, took two statements, took DNA evidence, organised 7 news to show his face and my statement via crimestoppers and offered me counselling. They helped.

[vixxscifiwritings]

your sins in weight of diamonds (2/4)

Title - Your sins in weights of diamonds

Word Count - 12,000+

Rating - 13+

Warnings - Violence, Implications of sex, Minor foul language

Characters - Jaehwan, Gender Neutral Reader, VIXX Ensemble + Sejeong (Gugudan)

Pairings - Jaehwan x Reader, ninja!Hakyeon x Reader

Author’s Note - Written for the Wind Of Starlight Spring 2018 challenge

Summary - Nothing will stop you from relentlessly pursuing the famous thief Night Fox. However, when the Night Fox threatens to steal the mafia’s most prized possession, you get pulled into a dangerous game.

Find all parts here

Previous

Part 2

You took a deep breathe. You felt shitty, having gotten only an hour or two of sleep. Your back hurt, feeling very sore. The skies were grey, a grim reflection of your own mood. The coffee didn’t help. Not as much as alcohol would.

You had been up all night, considering Lee Jaehwan’s words. He hadn’t minced his words. The two most powerful mafia in the city wanted the Night Fox. There was a greater, more elaborate scheme at play and a misstep would you have it entangled in its complicated web.

“You look like shit” Wonshik says, rolling down the window as he drives up to you.

“I hadn't fucking noticed” you say, feeling grouchy. It is 10 in the morning and you weren't in the mood for chitchat. Wonshik had messaged at 4 in the morning, telling you he would pick you up at 10 for work. It hadn't been a request.

“What do you need?” you ask, sliding into the passenger seat. The coffee cup was empty, save the cream clinging onto the insides of the container.

“I have to talk to you” he says, starting up the car again. Wonshik took a left, intending to drive down the fifth avenue which would be a longer drive to the precinct.

“I already know you resigned from your job and you’re on your two week’s notice” you say, with a shrug.

“Only Hakyeon knows that” Wonshik says. His eyebrows knit together when he frowns.

“Yes well, I would be a shitty detective if I didn’t notice” you lie. Hakyeon has told you this in strictest confidence and would be telling the rest of the team soon.

“That was not what I wanted to talk to you about” Wonshik says, dismissing the topic. “I saw you talking to the golden songbird Lee Jaehwan himself, after hours. Mind telling me what that was all about?”

“I was just trying to get what information I could from him” you lie again. You were getting better at this. Maybe you would finally beat Sanghyuk at poker.

“Not flirting with him? Because we could tell that you were interested in other aspects of him too” Wonshik says, turning left.

“Fuck that. I was only flirting to get him to open up more. Easiest to make someone slip up if they think you're too enamoured to notice the fine details” you say. A third lie of the conversation. A record in itself.

“Your language gets filthier when you are sleep deprived. You might want to watch that smart mouth around Hakyeon” Wonshik warns.

“Hakyeon rather likes me and my dirty mouth” you reply smugly.

“I’d rather not discuss your sex lives” Wonshik grimaces.

“There is no sex life. That was just a joke” you say sharply.

“I would be a shitty detective if I never noticed” Wonshik mimics you from earlier. “Besides, you have a tell for every type of lie.”

“What tell?” you ask curiously.

“Not giving my cards away. I make a lot of money winning at poker” Wonshik laughs, pulling into the precinct parking lot.

“Oh and by the way, your entire conversation was recorded on your earpiece. You were lucky it was my turn to monitor and not Sejeong’s.”

Your lips thin. So Wonshik had known that you were lying the entire time. You feel like an idiot. You think back to everything you had said in the entire conversation and what can be used against you.

“I haven't said a word of it to anyone. If you promise to stay away from Lee Jaehwan, you will buy my silence forever” he says, parking his car.

“Why?” You ask, suspicious of any reason he would give.

“I have my reasons. This isn't the time or place for that discussion. Besides I am just looking out for you” Wonshik says, looking you in the eyes. You hold his gaze evenly, not the one to back down from a challenge.

All sleep, if any had remained, was now gone. Adrenaline replaced exhaustion and you were now on your toes, your back against the proverbial wall.

-x-

“I thought the two of you wouldn't be here till 12” Sanghyuk comments when Wonshik opens the door to the meeting room. Hakyeon, Sejeong and Sanghyuk were already present and waiting on them.

“I am probably not here mentally till 1” you acquiesce.

“Caffeinate yourselves. I just got back from a long meeting with Chief” Hakyeon warns, mostly for you and not Wonshik.

“Long meetings are always bad news” Sejeong worries.

“At this point, I can't tell if it is a good development or bad” Hakyeon admits. He waits for Wonshik to lock the door behind him.

“We're dropping the Night Fox case” he starts.

“What” you exclaim, sitting up straighter.

“Chief is concerned with the involvement of the Serpents and the Panthers. At first it was just a simple white collar crime. But then the Night Fox stole from the Serpents and got the mafia involved. A specialised unit will be taking up the case to handle it with… required sensitivity” he explains.

“Are we collaborating with the special unit?” Sejeong asks.

“No we're not. It's a complete handover” Hakyeon replies.

“But we've been working on this case for three years now!” you protest. White collar crimes are specifically under the purview of your department. You have personally been invested in catching the Night Fox for years now.

“That was before we realised the case was so complicated. The top mob bosses don't get involved just for anyone” Hakyeon reminds you.

“When does the switch take place?” Sanghyuk asks, breaking up what might be a fight.

“Day after tomorrow. Which means that you have enough time to get in all the paperwork” he says, looking pointedly at Sanghyuk who groans. The youngest hates paperwork and you agree.

“Meanwhile, Sanghyuk and I will continue to remain undercover at the Red Light district. I have new cases for Sejeong and Groucho Marx over there. You start investigation on field tomorrow” Hakyeon says, gesturing to you.

“Fucking funny” you say. Alliteration was never your forte.

“As for Wonshik, do you want to tell them or should I?” Hakyeon asks.

“All of us know he resigned” Sanghyuk pipes up.

“We would be very bad at our jobs if we couldn't tell. When is your last day?” Sejeong adds.

“Next Monday” Wonshik answers.

“We wish you luck for your future endeavours” Hakyeon says while Sanghyuk simultaneously says “Lucky bastard”. Hakyeon chops his neck swiftly for ‘language’ which leads to protests and discrimination because you have definitely used filthier words before.

“I suppose you guys are free for the rest of the day” Hakyeon says, dismissing everyone.

“I'm going to sleep” you announce, being the first to leave the room. Wonshik follows, knowing you have no such intention. Hakyeon and Sejeong fall into a discussion about the new case while Sanghyuk drowns in his coffee. You still can't shake off the bad feeling in your gut.

“Tell me you aren't going to do something stupid” Wonshik says the moment you both are out of earshot.

“You heard the boss” you gripe. “I was actually going to get a drink.”

“It's eleven in the morning” Wonshik reminds you.

“And your point is?” you ask, with one eyebrow raised.

“Never change kid” Wonshik says, ruffling your hair. You scowl, unsure why Wonshik is being so friendly after practically threatening you. But Wonshik will be gone soon and the case is out of your hands so maybe, for a while, you can afford to let your guard down.

-x-

“Mayonnaise is very yucky” Jaehwan says, sliding into the chair in front of yours. You raise an eyebrow, doing a quick survey of your surroundings. Two men at the entrance and one in a car down the road, ready to go. There must be another one on the back alley near the staff exit. Nowhere to run.

The weather is fairly sunny now, and there are multiple people in the café for lunch. The Serpents don't murder their victims out in the open so this is a small comfort. But the number of people following Jaehwan is significant.

The man himself is busy stealing potato chips that come free with your sandwich

“Get your own sandwich then” you say, for the lack of a better reply. It's not the answer that will not get him killed. But it does make Jaehwan laugh. His hair is up and in his clean button up, he does look very handsome when his eyes sparkle.

“I'm just making a pit stop. I missed you after our night at Glen Milli’s” Jaehwan says, before popping another chip into his mouth.

“I'm no longer assigned on your case” you say simply. It is the truth after all.

“I thought you were personally invested in catching the Night Fox, given the number of late night vigils you pulled in the Red Light district” Jaehwan says, resting his hand against his arm with his elbow propped on the table.

“Our department no longer deals with that case. If you have information that you think the police will find useful then I can redirect you to the right person” you say, half of the line being rehearsed over your countless number of days in the force.

How does Jaehwan know how many times you've been in and out of the Red Light district if he arrived here a few days ago? How many people have had their cover blown and not realised it yet? What do the Serpents know? And in collaboration with the Panthers, how much have they shared?

“Case shifting and officers resigning. Sounds like your department is in trouble” Jaehwan comments. He snorts at the confused look on your face.

“What? Did you think that I didn't realise that an ear piece meant someone was listening in on our conversation? I followed up on that naturally. Kim Wonshik is a very interesting man. Cute and funny” Jaehwan said with a smirk.

“What do you want?” you snap. A part of you worried for Wonshik. He is a civilian now as far as you know and has no means of protecting himself after he surrendered his badge and gun.

“Don't be jealous pet. I have no interest in Wonshik. I do have a new deal for you given the change in our circumstances” Jaehwan said, leaning against the back of his chair.

“Do I even have the option of refusing?” you ask, gesturing to the black car at the end of the road.

“Of course you do” Jaehwan laughs. ‘But you won't like the consequences’ goes unsaid.

“I'd like some time to think over it” you say, finishing the last of your sandwich. Your stomach feels queasy and you know it won't digest well.

“Wednesday at 1.30 in the night. You know where” Jaehwan says.

“Of course. Can't wait to listen to the golden songbird” you say, your jaw clenching at the forced pleasantries.

-x-

“I ordered Thai because I was too lazy to cook and I know you already expected this” you say the moment you open the door and see Hakyeon on the other side.

“Yeah I did” Hakyeon says with a smile.

“Good. Because I am not apologising. I've had a shitty day” you grumble.

“I noticed. I brought your favourite flavour ice cream along” Hakyeon says holding up a bag with a large carton of cookie dough ice cream.

“Come on in” you say, taking the ice cream from him. Hakyeon lets himself in and settles on the couch while you put the carton in the freezer.

“What movie are we watching?” you ask. It's Hakyeon’s turn to pick a movie this time.

“We're going on a Ghibli marathon” Hakyeon declares proudly. You open your mouth but decide against it. Nothing can change Hakyeon’s mind when it comes to Japanese anime movies.

“As long as it's not sad stuff” you relent.

Hakyeon puts the DVD into the player and you sprawl on the opposite end of the couch. When he returns to the couch, Hakyeon decides to lie next to you, his head on your chest. Your arms wrap around him automatically.

“Do you want to tell me about your day?” he asks, ten minutes into the movie. You're not paying attention and he has already seen it before.

“The stupid robberies turned out to be an elaborate insurance scam. I had to deal with the smug overbearing son of a bitch insurance agent all day” you complain.

“I guessed it was. The timeline of the crime and the evidence didn't add up when I was reviewing the case file” Hakyeon agrees.

“Yeah that testimony was fucked up. Could have fooled a fresh cop” you scoff.

“They would have gotten away too. If it hadn't been for you meddling kids” Hakyeon parodies a villain from Scooby Doo.

“We even had a dog” you add, making him laugh. The vibrations against your chest feel pleasant and warm.

“I was worried you know. I expected more resistance when the Night Fox case was taken away. I should have trusted you” Hakyeon confesses, burying his face in your body.

“Yeah” you say simply. You run your hands through his hair and avoid acknowledging the guilt that bubbles up.

When you meet Jaehwan tomorrow, you will turn his offer down.

-x-

Next

[faunahudson]

settle | self para

Who: Fauna Flanagan and Percy Flanagan with mentions of Rory Flanagan, Conor Flanagan and Sawyer Hudson Where: Belfast When: Feburary 2020 What: Fauna and Percy discuss his opinions on her future Warnings: emotional abuse, derogatory language, Percy Flanagan

It’s pouring with rain the night in February that her father comes to collect her from uni. It was an odd thing that in her adult life she’d begun to rely on lifts, since her and Rory had almost never been collected from school beyond primary. This had partially been because Percy had accused Mary of coddling them by doing so, but mostly because they liked the independence of walking or getting the bus. Fauna had always enjoyed the opportunity to read one of the many paperbacks that she kept crammed in the bottom of her bag. While Rory claimed to like the social aspect of the bus referring to him and Dobsy accusing Tired Pete in the year below of having a gay love affair with the bus driver because he always got off with an under twelves fare way into his teens. It also made people suspect them less of being Tories because their parents didn’t drive them, made them seem more normal. Fauna had liked it that way less reason for people to look at them, and with her headphones in she could ignore the commentary on her sex life that had always followed her back then.

It had been funny, appearing at uni in Belfast. Despite being the new girl things actually weren’t all that weird, she wasn’t ostracised the last way she had been during high school, everything was different in her new classes. In the weeks leading up to her first day there had been the bubble of fear that it would be like it had been in Dublin, that the videos would be found and the rumours would start up all over again. But instead she had been greeted warmly. After classes there were invites to pubs and cups of tea offered, everyone wanted to get to know Sawyer. A few people had even asked about Alexis, which they laughed about over their daily FaceTimes. How funny it was that people liked her when she didn’t really need them to anymore. This new warmth from people had meant that she seldom needed to walk or to take the bus because there was always someone’s car she could cram into, but on this particularly rainy Tuesday she’s been at the clinic later than she expected and there’s no bus for an hour. She knows Sawyer will be working, so she calls her home phone hoping to catch Maurie or her Ma to beg a lift and maybe some dinner. The phone rings twice, when it picks up she goes to talk immediately the way she usually would but she’s halted by.

“Fauna.” Her father says obviously having recognised her number, his tone not annoyed or accusatory for once which makes her immediately wonder if he’s drunk.

“Hey Da, is Maurie there?” She asks, hoping that if he is truly good and drunk he’ll just pass the phone over and she won’t have to prolong their interaction.

“No, her and your Ma went over to your grandparents.” He isn’t drunk, she can tell that by now. If he was drunk he would have put the phone down after delivering that message. “What did you need them for?” If he’d been any other person in the entire world she would have told him it was nothing and then tried to rummage around in her bag for enough change for a cab into town. But she knew if she told him that it was nothing then it would start a fight where he’d demand to know what she was hiding from him, and her feet ached too much for that.

“Oh I was just gonna try and beg a lift from the clinic, scran something from Ma. You know how I am.” She says, though it’s not true. He barely knows her at all. There’s a pause, which lasts longer in her head than it probably did in real life because she’s so fucking cold.

“I’ll pick you up, we’ll go for a pint.” Those were the last words that she expected to come out of his mouth, and she blinks in surprise.

“Why?” She asks before she stop herself, it’s always a terrible idea to question Percy and her heart sinks as soon as she says it. That’s always the problem with living with someone who you can completely be herself with, she forgets that she has to put her guard back up with other people.

“Because you need a fucking lift and I’m the only one in, god it’s not complicated Fauna Eloise.. sometimes I wonder what they teach you up there because it’s not bloody common sense.” Percy snaps.

“Sorry Da.. you’ve just never picked me up before.” Fauna responds, trying to mollify him. “Thanks though.” She adds, he’s not actually punished her since that time at parents week but she doesn’t really want to go through it again.

“Text me the address.” He says, and honestly even though she’s sure she’ll probably live to regret it right now she’s just grateful to think about getting out of the cold. A pint, is a pint after all. Though Percy hadn’t done anything particularly heinous since Sawyer punched Harold at new years, so she supposed she was about due for him to do something to remind her why she hated him so much.

Percy has brought his favourite Porsche coupe and it arrives a lot sooner than Fauna thought it would. She’d almost expected he’d keep her waiting, to punish her for questioning his motives. She dashes through the rain and slips into the front seat, to find Percy listening to the rugby. “Thanks for the lift Da, it’s vile outside.” The weather is usually a pretty safe topic, Percy hates the rain. There’s a brief conversation about the state of the roads, and what she was doing at the clinic before he looks at her and says.

“You can drive can’t you? Why don’t you have a car?” Fauna has to bite her lip hard to keep from laughing at this question. God he really didn’t have any idea what life was like did he? As if her and Sawyer could think about running a car when all they had to live on was the few shifts that she could take at the ER, his barely minimum wage earnings at the pub and what was left of her savings. They could barely afford groceries some weeks, and she’d been shoving the council tax bills underneath the freezer until Maurie had insisted that they take an envelope of ‘Christmas money’ to get rid of them.

“Yeah I can drive, you gave me a lesson once remember?” She reminds him. That was probably the last time that he’d volunteered to spend time with her that wasn’t to give her a bollocking. The lesson hadn’t been terrible to be honest, mostly because Percy liked feeling in control and like he was the smarter one of the two and Fauna didn’t mind learning when she thought the skill was useful. “Canne afford a car though, don’t really need one anyway I only really go to uni and to the pub. Sawyer borrows Glens car sometimes.. if we’re gonna go visit Nana or something.”

He grunts in recognition of the lesson. “You’d have more than enough money if you lived at home.” That’s the second time that evening that he’s stunned her to silence, and so she just stares at him like a fish. Was he really suggesting that she should move home?

“I mean.. I guess. But me and Sawyer are happy where we are I think. It’s nice to have a place of our own, weren’t really supposed to live together at school. ” She responds eventually, she wants to ask him why she would ever want to move home when he’d all but shoved them out of the door when they’d lived there for the month after Ohio. “Besides my single is a bit small for both of us. Sawyers a big lad.”

“Hm.” Is all her father replies it’s not like she expected him to laugh, she doesn’t think he’s ever laughed at one of her jokes but she does have to wonder where he’s going with all this. Her hands fidget in her lap as she waits for the penny to drop but he doesn’t press her on the topic. After a brief silence they pull up to one of the fancy country restaurants that Percy loves where the prices make her teeth hurt. She’s been uncomfortable with this kind of thing since she was a little girl who wore her wellie boots to church. As a kid she used to say she wasn’t hungry anymore and she didn’t want to go inside, which would usually cause him to call her ungrateful and all but yank her from the car while Rory wailed that he wanted Mcdonalds. Even now as an adult she wants to tell him that she’s not dressed for this kind of pint, and that she still stinks of the clinic. But again she knows that it’s not worth fighting over so she pulls the hood of her coat up and trudges with him inside. 

Percy knows the girl on the door, and he speaks to her in an odd charming voice that Fauna knew he had but had never experienced first-hand. She thinks about this version of her father occasionally though, when she’s wondering how Maurie or her Ma ever ended up with him. It’s this charming Dominant they thought they were getting claimed by, not the bad-tempered man who can never be wrong, that ended up raising their kids. They’re shown to a table, and handed expensive looking leather bound menus. Fauna almost doesn’t want to open the thing, but her stomach is growling so she scans the print for the cheapest thing on the menu.

“It’s on me.” Percy says as if reading her mind. It’s early in the dinner for him to declare this, one of his favourite games when he brought her and Sawyer out was always to order and then ask them to pay at the end of the meal. Watching them try to scrap around for enough money to cover the extortionate tab, before the waitress told them that Mr Flanagan had already paid. It was the kind of humiliating mind game that Percy specialised in, always reminding them that they relied on him, that they needed him. Fauna considers asking him whether or not he’s sure he wants to pay but that’s another question so instead she says.

“Thank you very much Da, you didn’t have to bring me out here. I’d have taken a half eaten bag of crisps.” She jokes, her stomach rumbling as her eyes scan over the options. While she’s not a fan of fancy places, she is looking forward to eating something that she didn’t make in that one pot that never seemed to have quite lost the burned crust that she’d created when Sawyer had distracted her while she was trying to make red wine gravy.

“I know, you’ve always been willing to eat any old shit.. Take shit from everyone. You shouldn’t settle though, not about food and not in your life Fauna.” Percy says, and Fauna is starting to wonder if this is all about Sawyer somehow. Percy had been awfully nice to Sawyer since the incident at new years and she now had a creeping suspicion that he’d just been biding his time, lulling them into a false sense of security.

“I mean I actually do just really like cheap food to be honest with you Da, I really enjoyed the American preoccupation with junk food while I was there. As for everything else, I don’t really think I’m settling. I thought I was doing pretty well to be honest, I left a school that I didn’t think was gonna give me a fair shot, I’m studying to be a doctor at the best school around and I’ve got an amazing boyfriend.. what more could I want?”

“You live in a pokey one bedroom flat and you can’t afford a car, you and Sawyer should be thinking about a house of your own.” Percy declares, and honestly Fauna is just glad that Sawyer was included in whatever weird fucking conversation they were about to have. 

“I mean once I’m qualified Da.. we’ll work on a claim and then we can start to think about getting a house and stuff. But I’m in med school right now, that’s you know.. expensive.” She wants to mention her trust fund, because it would solve every single problem that he keeps talking about. But she’d rather try to work out where he’s going with all this first. 

The waitress arrives at that point, and Fauna hasn’t even really thought about what she wants though she decides to use this to her advantage. “Can you order for me Da? You know what’s good here better than me” Percy actually almost cracks a surprised smile at this, letting a Dominant order for you is good manners in his book. Fauna has never been opposed to this kind of power exchange when it’s consensual, though usually not with her father. But she knows that he thinks she’s a terrible submissive, that she’s not willing to follow any kind of rules so little gestures like this can occasionally help with keeping him in a good mood. He orders her something with goats cheese that Maurie apparently likes and a regular pint. 

“I know you think I’m some kind of monster, because I won’t just let you and your brother waste your lives. And you act like I’m a cunt because Ive always tried to stop you from parading yourself around like a whore and acting like a nasty little brat.” Percy says, and Fauna takes a long drink of the pint that’s just been put in front of her. Vodka would have been better. Just when she was thinking this was going well. “But I push you because I know you can have more, and because I always wanted you to find a decent claim. Unlike your moron of a twin, I always knew you had potential. You’re decent looking like your mother, and nobody would ever shut up about how clever you were even when you were a kid. Though it was always like pulling teeth getting you to show it. Obviously there was no chance of you going into the business because you’ve always been submissive and overly emotional.. but I pushed you to do what you were good at.” Fauna wants to say that yelling abuse and emotional manipulation go a little further than ‘pushing’ and that if he really wanted to push her he could have offered to help with medical school but she holds her tongue. “I’ve always been trying to teach you not to be a chump and to be able to stand on your own two feet like I had to. Nobody gave me a hand out.” 

In a world where Percy wasn’t the worst person on the planet , Fauna might have spoken about him with pride. He was self made after all, his friends were always clapping him on the back and talking about his clever investments outside of the business. But he’d soured every page of his biography with his actions, and left her uninterested in knowing how he made the money that he so loved to hold over her and Rorys heads. The money that he used to manipulate her mother and Maurie into submission, and literally the only thing that made him any difference from the drunks that he sneered at on a Saturday night. 

“You’ve been making improvements though I’ve noticed, since our talk in Ohio. You’ve been more like a submissive should be, less crass, not dragging yourself out of bars like a tramp. Minding your manners.” Percy says, and Fauna raises an eyebrow. “And New Year reminded me something.. that I’ve been too hard on you particularly in a way. I always lump you and Rory in together because everyone else does. Which was never good for you, you don’t want people thinking you're a layabout junkie like him. I gave you the same treatment because I thought you needed the same push to succeed. But you’re a submissive and so I shouldn’t expect you to be able to do things for yourself. You’re supposed to be weak, you should be obedient.” In her mind Fauna punches him square in the jaw, and she stays visualising that as the waitress puts something that smells delicious in front of her. “But when the Yank fucking battered Harold, I realised that getting you under control was about finding you the right Dominant and shaping him. At first I thought the Hudson boy was a total waste of fucking air since he’s a skint drifter, with no decent family to speak of, American and he seemed like a pansy. But then I realised he’s got balls, and he seems to have enough of a grip on you that you’re no longer spreading your legs for anything that breathes.”

There’s a part of Fauna that feels some sort of twisted pride that her father is starting to approve of Sawyer, the words that are coming out of his mouth in many ways disgust her. But that stupid little girl who just wouldn’t give up hope that her Dad would someday be proud of her was jumping up and down that her Dad thought Sawyer could be a good match for her. 

“I am committed to Sawyer.” She confirms for the millionth time, always feeling a little sick when he brought up the idea that she might have sex with anyone else. “And he’s a really, really good Dominant.”

“Hm.” Percy responds as he tucks into his steak. “It’s his future I’m interested in, like I said you two can’t spend your life in that dirty little flat. You need to be looking ahead, and I mean to help with that. You need to keep focusing on uni obviously, and on being a decent submissive. But I can help give him a push in the right direction.”

Fauna has no idea how to respond to this decision making process, because on one hand she wants to try and shield Sawyer from everything that comes along with having Percys attention. But if Percy warming up to Sawyer meant that he might relax on his one strike and you're out policy, then it would help them both sleep a little easier at night. So she doesn’t really say anything for the rest of dinner, he makes a cruel remark about her being greedy when she wants to order dessert, and takes several very underhanded digs at how much Rorys rehab costs which she can’t ignore and has to bite back on. But it’s probably the longest they’ve ever been alone in a very long time. 

When he drops her off back at her apartment he reaches into his wallet, and pulls out a wad of twenties. “Buy yourself a bottle of decent booze.” He instructs. “You should be able to serve something that’s not shite when you have people over.” She has no intention of using the money for that, but she thanks him all the same and gets out of the car without feeling totally like shit for once. Which in turn makes her feel guilty, like she was betraying herself and Rory somehow for not totally hating every second that she spent with Percy. For letting him get away with at least half of what he’d said, Rory would never have sat there passively while he insulted the flat that her and Sawyer worked hard to afford and Sawyers parents who were good hard working people. Yet despite all that he’d said, Fauna considered the meeting to have gone well, and she just didn’t know if that made her a bad person or not. 

Glancing up at the apartment building she could see a light on, and that familiar relief of knowing that she could talk to Sawyer about what was worrying her spread over her body. So without agonising further, she punched in the key code and disappeared out of the rain. Leaving what she could of her guilt and unease behind her. 

[caspxrs]

( freddie highmore, he/him, 23 ) — have you seen casper summers , the medicine student around oxford yet? i hear they can be cruel and amoral, but those who know them insist that they are intelligent and polite. rumour has it that he has covered up crimes by tampering with bodies in the morgue and other evidence. is it true? only time will tell.

AKA casper zachary summers - ur resident psychOH :) 

hi it s me hollie bringing u this problematic fave because y’all are getting too soft these days. we need to Spice Things Up

the,,,,stuff about him and stuff:

objective: casper is here to make ur mans look like a Pussy.

he is a bit small, a bit skinny, but BOI he will chop you down until you reach his height :) literally :) he knows how to use a medical saw :)

he does NOT have a soft spot. he is NOT loving to anyone. and no, he does NOT have a conscience

his mum, lily summers, was a nice woman. she was super religious and was an older sister to ollie and tavia’s mum. the two sisters were inseparable until they met and married their respective partners. lily never approved of her younger sister’s choice and always suspected there was something fishy going on. she wanted to stick around to protect her, but had to leave because her hot shot international relations legal business man husband was constantly moving around... so they moved to switzerland and all was good...until her baby sis contacted her and said ‘i need to get away from my abusive mob husband’!!!! so lily organised to meet up with her sis and help her escape with the kids but BAM the mob husband found out, killed her sister and convinced everyone that lily was crazy as shit because she kept accusing the “mob” of her sisters murder. after her sister’s death she went highkey crazy. she blamed herself for not protecting her youngest sister from the dangers of the Mob Life. she would often try to hunt down mob members and organise some kind of killing spree to get back at the aASSHOLE who killed her baby sis. she also wanted to find her niece and nephew!!!!who she knew and loved and cared about a lot- honestly she would be devastated to hear what happened to them. she would’ve felt like it was her fault she didn’t work hard enough to find them and save them from the dirty mob life (why am i developing his mum this much??? bECAUSE I CAN THATS WHY)

anyway so while that tom fuckEry was going on whats going on with my sweet summer sunshine not at all psycho baby casper??? well he was being neglected by his mumma. he never had a stable life or home because they were always moving around because of his dad’s job, but they were living it up rich as FUCK so it didn’t really matter. but anyway, being separated from his mother and isolated from his father meant he didnt really have a role model growing up??? he was also an incessantly evil child like really fucking evil for no reason (think the kevin from ‘we need to talk about kevin but he’s a bitch to the dad and not the mum). and his mum going crazy only made it worse tbh because he saw her and it just scarred him for life. his mother told him what happened and so is totally aware of the truth behind ollie and tavia’s mums death. aND he TOTALLY BLAMES OCTAVIA AND OLLIE AND THEIR MUM for his mother going crazy BECAUSE “my mother wasn’t crazy when she left Switzerland to save your hopeless asses and when she came back? she was a fucking nut case” (see: it’s all your fault rachel vine) 

he took his mumma’s last name because he is a muMMA’s BOY OK FUCK U NOT MY DAD (if u get the vine reference good job)

his papa was rich as FUCK though and was the executive of many flashy named big businesses and international relations and moved all around the world. he also worked in government for a stint of time. he is basically ur typical corrupt business man. think like,,,,,, don draper?????? rip me i lov mad men.

cas doesn’t really like his dad at all and barely knows him tbh but will be nice to him for appearances sake :)

they had to hide his mothers’ insanity and crazy actions from tabloids and what not and it got to a point where eventually she just faded into oblivion and they pretended she was dead but she was really just hidden away in an institution

anyway,,,, back to this bitch,,, he has an IMPECCABLE reputation - i’m talking clean as an underage church girl on christmas eve, and he doesn’t plan on having that change anytime soon :)))

yeah he totally uses lots of passive aggressive smiley faces and i love him for it

he has amazing manners please thank you, the works - he will open the damn door for u and hold her purse

he’s so smart too :) my baby a genius :) and so he got accelerated into med school so he could specialise in FORENSIC PATHOLOGY early - you hear that? my baby cuts dead people open :) (probably was there when jennie got cut open oOOPS my bad). he’s basically been morbid and dark all his life and often discusses more taboo subjects openly and without restraint. 

SECRET: he covers up a fuck tonne of crimes man, including crimes he’s committed but he’s so meticulous and careful you would never know. he has covered up his own crimes and the crimes of others (for a hefty fee, of course) because his degree gives him access to the morgue and also the forensic labs where they sort through any evidence from a crime scene. 

doesn’t smoke, drink or take drugs - but u best believe everyone thinks he does because he’s always at those parties schemin’

nobody’s friend but everyone sucks the fuck up to him because Please do not get on his Bad Side

people tend to trust him with everything including their secrets so he gets to totter around town with his bag of goodies and when someone pisses him off? BlackMail :))))))))))))))))

those nudes u sent ur ex? he has them. witness testimony of u cheating on an exam? he has it. those drugs u hid to smoke post-swimming practice? he knows where it is. that teacher you had an affair with? he filmed it. killed a man? he saw it. told a lie? he heard it. you havin’ an affair with a girl who’s dating the captain of the athletics team? he tasted you on that girl’s tongue. you crapped your pants at 5:04pm on Tuesday the 3rd of January? he smelt it in the air. 

but seriously - if u havent been blackmailed by casper r u even relevant???

does that fucking Wave where he articulates every finger one by one and u just know u bout to die.

if he hates u: messes up your name always, probably threatens you lowkey (so highkey), gets creepily close

if he likes u: he wi- SIKE u thought :)

but for reals, he does have sOME close friends who are his “ride or dies” but more like “ride then bye” because he is not loyal to anyone except himself and he doesn’t feel bad about it

probably has quite a few girls who are Charmed by him but is he interested??? no. is he interested in anyone??? no. probably has casual sex though for info lbr.

rip y’all :))))))

those wanted connections tho ;) :

fwb (the benefits being information about people he’s trying to take down (tm) ) , enemies, fake friends, rich kids club, that one sweet darling he ALMOST feels bad about leading on, partner in crime, that unholy trio, classmates and buddies, people he’s blackmailing, a roommate who’s really suspicious of him tbh 

im basically up for anything so like this if u wanna plot and i’ll hit u up!!

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: A Beginning, Of Sorts

Summary: You know, I can’t even remember where this prompt came from but it cropped up in conversation after this fic involving Nick and Gloria roleplaying an escort and client. Some of us were talking about how terrible Rush would be as an escort, and someone else ( @woodelf68 perhaps?) said that they could actually see it working as a method for him to fund himself through college – minimal investment of time for maximum financial return.

Anyway, wherever it came from, this is the finished product. Nicholas Rush meets Gloria when she hires him as to escort her to a fancy party one evening…

Rated: M – fade to black, but adult themes.

=====

A Beginning, Of Sorts

Nick sighs, pushes his glasses down his nose to be able to rub the bridge, and readjusts them before looking again at the paperwork spread out in front of him, trying to make sense of it all.

PhD’s are fucking hard work. He loves maths, he loves physics, he honestly does, but right now there are numbers swimming in front of his eyes and he really doesn’t think that he’s going to get anything vaguely useful out of it tonight. With a grunt of pain from the ache in his neck, he leans back in his chair and closes his eyes, wondering whether to get some more coffee and try and plough on with it, or give it up as a bad job. He’s worked twice this week already so he thinks that he’s allowed to be knackered.

The phone, shrill and urgent and unrelenting, bursts into angry life and Nick rolls his shoulders before going to answer it. There’s only one person who’d be calling this number at this time, and he’s not entirely sure he wants to answer. Maybe he should let it go to answerphone and he’ll pick it up in the morning when he’s less tired. Maybe he should just pretend to be out, but unfortunately he’s not exactly known for being a social butterfly. Pushing these other welcome notions aside, he grabs the receiver.

“Rush.”

“Hey Nick, it’s Liz.”

He knew that it was going to be Liz. She sounds even more tired than he does. Liz isn’t her real name, he knows that much, but he’s never pried into what her name actually is.

“Hi Liz.”

“Diary says you’re available Saturday night, is that still the case?”

Nick looks down at his paperwork. Of course he’s available Saturday night, it’s not like he has a hot date with anyone except these equations, and they’re not exactly the best company. True, they’re quiet and they share all his own interests, as far as theoretical physics is concerned, but they don’t really make small talk and you can’t really wine and dine a sheaf of papers. On the other hand… He rolls his neck again, feeling the catch. He’s just so damned tired at the moment.

Still, any work is good work, and even scholarship students need to eat and sleep.

“Yeah, I’m still available.”

“Great. I’ve got a job for you.”

“When, where, who.” He doesn’t really waste on small talk with Liz. She’s calling to give him an appointment, and anything else in their interaction is somewhat awkward.

“Saturday night at seven-thirty, a young lady by the name of Gloria Miller. She wants to meet you at the Palace Hotel bar for a chat but then you’ll be going elsewhere, she wants an escort to a fancy family party out of town. Play at being the boyfriend, you know.”

Nick raises an eyebrow. He doesn’t usually get escorting jobs that involve actual escorting. He’s really not the most social person in the world, and he’s really not the most social person on Liz’s books. Sex he can do – very well even if he does say so himself. Interacting with other people… Not so great.

“Are you sure I’m the right person for this one?” he asks.

“Well, the only other guy I have available on Saturday is Danny and he’s even more of a no-go for social events than you are. Besides, she sounded nervous and he’d send her running for the hills.”

Nick has to give a snort at that. Danny caters for rather more specialised tastes.

“I can trust you with this one, can’t I? I think she just needs someone to prop her up for an evening in the face of disapproving relatives. Just be polite and attentive and keep her drink topped up, and neatly deflect any questions about when the two of you are getting married and having kids.”

“Yeah, ok.” Well, that shouldn’t be too difficult. He wonders why Miss Miller has felt the need to hire company for the evening, but decides that it’s really none of his business and he’s not paid to think about those kind of things. “I’ll be there. Dress code?”

“Smart, but not super formal. Suit and tie.”

Nick wrinkles his nose. He hates wearing ties and tries to get away without one as much as humanly possible. He only ever wears them when he’s working and even then, if he can go without he will. Unfortunately, Liz can read his silence.

“You’re wearing a damn tie, Rush.”

“All right, all right. Saturday, half-seven at the Palace. How long?”

“She’s paid up till midnight, thinks the party will be breaking up by then.” There’s a long pause at the other end of the line. “I know I don’t have to tell you this but take condoms and lube just in case. You never know.”

“Of course, Liz.”

“Payment like usual. Have fun.”

“Thanks, Liz.”

They say their goodbyes and Nick puts down the phone, staring at it for a few minutes before getting up and padding through to the kitchenette to make a fresh mug of coffee. If he’s sacrificing Saturday night to the tune of getting paid, he’ll need to keep working on these equations tonight.

X

The Palace Hotel isn’t the most expensive place his client could have chosen, but it’s certainly not the cheapest, and he wonders how old she is and how she came to be blowing her savings on hiring an escort and buying ridiculously priced cocktails in this bar. Nick readjusts his tie and takes a good look around the room, eyeing up the possible clients. He picks her out straight away. She’s sitting at the bar with a Margarita that she’s not drinking, and she meets his eyes as soon as he walks in. She’s the only one here alone, and Nick takes a moment to study her from afar before he goes over.

She’s fairly young, mid-twenties at most; his own age. That’ll make selling the fake relationship a bit easier. Long legs and soft curves encased in a classy, well-fitting little black dress. Honey-blonde hair pinned up, and pale skin. She’s very pretty, and Nick wonders again why she needs an escort for the evening.

Still, nothing to be gained by staring at her from the doorway, so he goes over.

“Miss Miller?”

She nods. “Please, call me Gloria. You must be Hamish. Thanks for coming.”

Nick admits that Hamish probably isn’t the best professional alias he could have chosen for himself, but since he’s so obviously Scottish, as Liz reminds him frequently, he thought that the best thing to do would be to play up that Scottishness. As long as none of his clients ask him to wear a kilt because he doesn’t actually own one and the last time he wore one, he was told that he looked terrible in it. When he first started in the job he had a terrible fear of being asked to wear a kilt and nothing else, because romantic fiction and ridiculous novel covers have a lot to answer for when it comes to the unnecessary objectification of Scotsmen.

“My pleasure,” he replies. He really hates parties. He hates most social occasions in general, but since this pays the bills and is earning him his PhD, he’s going to have to give in with good grace and be on his best behaviour during this one. Unless, of course, Gloria wants him to play at being an absolute arse in order to get her family off her back, the objective being that after him they’ll be happy with whoever she ends up with. Some of the more experienced escorts have had that kind of a job before, with clients who aren’t out to their parents. On the other hand, that might well backfire and lead to the awkward situation of her being put under even more pressure to replace the highly inappropriate ‘boyfriend’ and take up with someone better.

“Can I get you a drink?” Gloria asks.

Nick shakes his head. He doesn’t like drinking too much when he’s working because he likes to be fully alert and aware of his surroundings, and although he’s not been to all that many swanky parties in his time, he knows that there’s likely to be a lot of alcohol once they get there.

“Did the woman at the agency tell you what I wanted?” Gloria continues. “About the party, I mean.”

“She told me that there was going to be a party, but she didn’t give me any details.”

“It’s my grandparents,” Gloria elucidates. “They live about seven miles out of the city. They have a big pre-Christmas party every year, loads of family, friends, influential business people.” Her voice hardens on the last few words. “And every year so far since I moved out, I’ve turned up without a date, and my grandmother tries to set me up with any number of godawful would-be suitors, as if I only exist to be married off and continue the family line, and…” She breaks off. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be saying all this.”

Nick just shrugs. “You can say whatever you like, it makes no difference to me. I’m here for you, not any of your relations.”

“At any rate, this year I was determined not to turn up on my own and that’s where you come in.” She pauses. “I wanted to meet you here before so we could work out a reasonable cover story. I’m doing my Education Masters at the university, we met there.”

Nick nods. “Yes, that’s easy enough.” He wonders if their paths have ever crossed before. “What was your Bachelor?”

“Music. I play the violin; my aim is to get into an orchestra. Teaching’s a backup in case that dream falls through. You? I don’t mean in real life, obviously.”

“PhD,” Nick replies. “Which is technically the truth. You can pick the subject. Just nothing involving foreign languages, or I’ll be fucked,” he adds.

There’s a lot less nervousness in Gloria’s features now, and as she smiles, taking a sip of her margarita, her face lights up.

“Maths,” she says eventually. “You look like the mathematical sort.” She cocks her head on one side and smiles. “Am I even close to being right?”

Nick quirks an eyebrow. “That would be telling. Anything else I need to know?”

“My grandpa made his money in antiques, my dad carried on from him, and all the women in my family are professional wives.” She snorts. “They really want me to settle down, so there’ll probably be a bunch of questions about when we’re going to get married and how many kids we’ll have. If I can say one thing for my family, they’re very… eager.”

Nick just laughs. He thinks he’s going to get on with Gloria. They’re more alike than he thought would be possible, considering their vastly disparate backgrounds, but despite her obvious privilege, she seems grounded enough. He’s met enough of the other sort during the course of his ‘career’. Burning Daddy’s money away and coasting along through their classes.

“We should probably get going,” Gloria says, draining the last of her drink. “They’ll be expecting us soon.” She pauses. “I think you should know, before we go, that a bit of me is just doing this to spite my dad. He gave me a ‘dress allowance’ and told me to go and get ‘something pretty for the party’. So I did.” She pauses. “Sorry, that’s horribly insensitive.”

Nick shrugs. “It’s true, in the most brutal sense of the word.” Her frankness is refreshing, and so is her apology.

“Yes, but it’s still not a very nice thing for me to have said.”

“We’ll say no more about it. I’m flattered that you think I’m pretty.”

“Oh, you’re very pretty.” She slips her arm through his and they leave the hotel bar; there’s a taxi waiting. The drive to her grandparents’ house is quiet and awkward, but Nick’s sure that once they’re there, the uncomfortable atmosphere will dissipate a little as it will no longer be just the two of them. He’s going to be completely out of his depth, of course, but that’s par for the course, and as the newcomer to the family, no-one’s going to expect him to be the life and soul of the party in a hurry. At least, he really hopes not. As they pull up to the drive, Gloria begins to speak again and with the taxi idling outside the door, they work out a few last minute details so that they don’t end up giving all the relatives two subtly different versions of the same story. They don’t need to know everything about each other, this fake relationship doesn’t have to have been going on very long. There’s no need to fake true love and wedding bells on the horizon, just enough of a familiarity not to be suspicious. Although, Nick thinks as they walk in through the front door and he sees the vast amounts of alcohol around the place, he doesn’t think that anyone’s going to be in a position to call attention to anything suspicious any time soon.

“I’ll try and keep you close as much as possible,” Gloria says. “It would be unfair to leave you to be mobbed by all my relatives.”

She introduces him to everyone in short order, and Nick knows that he hasn’t got a cat in hell’s chance of remembering any names, so he just decides to be the arm candy that he was hired to be, keeping his mouth shut as much as possible and listening politely to all the conversations going on that he really doesn’t understand. People are talking about investments and banking on one side and probing Gloria for information about her future plans on the other side, and Nick can quite see why she needed an ally for the evening. It must be incredibly daunting for anyone to come here alone and be met with such a barrage of information and questioning from well-meaning family members who don’t really mean all that well. The main person that he has to fend off is Gloria’s grandmother, who seems to have taken quite a shine to him. Then again, from what Gloria’s told him, she would probably take a shine to any man that Gloria turned up with for the simple reason that he has the ability to get her granddaughter pregnant and produce some great-grandchildren.

“I’ve tried telling her at least sixty times that I don’t want kids, at least not until I’m thirty,” she mutters once they finally manage to extricate themselves from Grandma Miller’s grasp and are hiding out of the way of everyone behind the grandfather clock in the hall. Gloria’s on her third glass of champagne already and she knocks back the dregs. “I really hate these things. But I’m very glad you’re here.”

“I haven’t exactly done much,” Nick points out. “I’m just quiet and respectable boyfriend Hamish.”

“I know, but you exist tangibly which is the main thing, and I can always talk to you and block out everyone else. And I can complain about all my relatives to you and you won’t be offended.”

Nick laughs. “No, although you might be if I share my opinions of some of them to you. It’s all right when you’re complaining about your own family but it’s a different thing if it’s someone else doing it. It’s a bit like Scotland, I suppose. We all make disparaging remarks about various bits of our culture but as soon as someone south of the border makes those same comments, well…”

Gloria smiles. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” She glances back towards the living room where most of the party is gathered, and she sags in her high heels a little. “Do we have to go back in?”

Nick shrugs. “It’s your party and your time,” he reminds her. “I’ll just go along with whatever you do.”

Gloria looks at him sideways, twirling the stem of her champagne flute between her fingers.

“You don’t like these events, do you?”

“Honestly? No. I’m not usually first choice for this kind of thing. But I’m here.”

“Yeah, we’re both here and we’re both miserable. Come on, let’s hide. We’re both consenting adults and apparently in love, I don’t think anyone’s going to come looking for us.”

Gloria grabs his hand and leads him up the stairs; from some of the noises coming from behind closed doors, they’re not the only ones who have decided to leave the party and get up to no good. Although, Nick reasons, he doesn’t know what this particular little excursion with Gloria is going to lead to. She takes him into a small bedroom, a little bleak and sparse, no personal touches in it.

“It’s my room when I stay over,” she explains, opening the window to let some cool night air in and sitting on the windowsill, rummaging around in her little clutch bag and taking out cigarettes and a fancy lighter. “Do you mind?”

Nick shakes his head. “Not at all. I brought my own.”

Gloria laughs and pats the windowsill across from her, offering her lighter, and Nick takes it. The first drag is just what he needs after the tension in the party downstairs.

“Your name’s not really Hamish, is it?” Gloria asks presently.

“No. But I’d rather not tell you what it really is.”

“Fair enough.”

This moment here, sitting smoking in a room lit only by moonlight, is the most comfortable and relaxed that Nick’s been with Gloria all evening, and the silence that settles between them isn’t awkward like it had been before. There’s an unspoken understanding between them; he’s not really sure where it came from but it’s there and it’s nice. It’ll make the rest of the time go easily.

Gloria finishes her cigarette and leans back in the window, looking out over the vast garden beyond, and occasionally glancing back at him, her head on one side, considering him. Nick raises an eyebrow.

“What’s up?”

“I’m wondering whether it would be bad form to kiss you,” Gloria says frankly, and whilst Nick wasn’t sure what he was expecting, he’s fairly certain it wasn’t that. “Because you’re not at all how I was expecting and you’re very handsome, and I’d like to kiss you.”

Nick certainly wouldn’t mind if she kissed him. She’s certainly very lovely and his feelings towards her are positive, rather than the usual neutrality he tends to maintain with clients. He likes her.

“I’d be up for that,” he admits.

“I’m glad.”

She’s firm in her kiss, she knows what she wants, and she tastes of smoke and alcohol like so many women do. She smells expensive, like so many women do. But she’s different somehow. There’s a realness to her, which is ironic considering that the entire time he’s been with her he’s been playing a role. But there’s no pretence to her now, not like the bright, smiling, perfect daughter she had been downstairs. He likes her, it’s as simple as that, and that makes this experience so much more enjoyable for all the many, many times he has done it.

So he keeps kissing her, and she keeps kissing him back, and there’s a champagne brightness in her eyes when she pulls away, a brightness that Nick recognises all too well. It’s a good job that Liz warned him to bring condoms just in case.

X

“We should probably get back to the party.”

They’re sitting in Gloria’s four-foot single bed, Nick at the head and Gloria leaning against the wall, propped up on pillows, the ashtray on the covers between them. He doesn’t really have any desire to move, and he knows that whatever time they get back to the party, people are going to be giving them looks that immediately say that they know what they got up to whilst they were absent, but Nick really couldn’t care less about that, and to all intents and purposes, Gloria doesn’t seem to care too much about it either. But the clock is ticking down, and soon he’ll have to leave because her payment will have run out.

“Aye, we probably should.”

It’s with obvious reluctance that Gloria gets out of the bed and puts her clothes back on without self-consciousness and Nick follows her lead. Once they get back down into the main party room, it’s clear that a lot of the guests have already left. They get the usual looks, a mixture of disapproval from some of the elderly relatives and indulgent ‘they’re hot-blooded young things’ sentiment from the others. Gloria’s mother chastises her for skipping out on so much of the party and Nick listens to her deflect the veiled barbs in a wonderful display of passive aggression that he couldn’t have bettered himself. Finally, she manages to get him out of the door and into a taxi that’ll take him back to the Palace.

“Thank you,” she says as they part. “For everything. I’ve had fun tonight. Well, the bits when we weren’t at the party were fun. And the party was less awful than usual. So thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

The taxi slides quietly into the night, and Nick glances back over his shoulder through the rear window at Gloria standing in the driveway, and he wonders if he’ll ever bump into her again.

X

It’s a new year and a new term and a couple of months have passed with Nick trying very much not to think about Gloria when he sees her suddenly, and suddenly, everything changes and he has no idea what to do with himself because he’s walking in one direction with his coffee and she’s walking in the other direction with her violin case and it’s inevitable that they’re going to meet in the middle of the street. She recognises him just before they collide with each other and smiles.

“Hello. How are you?”

Nick’s still somewhat stunned but manages to answer.

“Fine, thanks. You?”

“I’m good. It’s been a little while, hasn’t it?”

No-one would know that they were talking about an escorting appointment, but either way, it’s clear that they remember each other and they have been thinking about each other in the interim. Nick’s not the best at small talk, something that Liz has despaired of in the past, but they chat for a couple of minutes.

“Do you maybe want to get a coffee later?” she asks presently.

“I…” He really doesn’t know what to say to that because he does want to, but at the same time… “You know what I do in my spare time,” he warns her.

Gloria nods. “I do. It’s how we met, remember.” She shrugs. “It’s just coffee.”

Just coffee. He can do just coffee. God, he spends so much of his working life around the opposite sex that one would think that he’d know what to say to them when he meets one he knows in the street. He nods.

“All right then. That sounds good. Tuesday night?”

“Great. Although there’s one thing. I know you’re not called Hamish, but can I maybe get your actual name before we meet again?”

Nick gives a snort of laughter. “It’s Nick.”

“Pleased to meet you, Nick. I’ll see you Tuesday.”

It’s a beginning of something, Nick’s pretty sure of that as they continue down the road on their separate ways. It’s a pretty strange beginning, and he’s not sure what it’s the beginning of yet, but it’s definitely a beginning.

[cryokinesisandlight]

EXO KoKoBop Criminal AU

With the new concept I got a new AU ... 

Yes, I have a criminal AU based on KoKoBop because why not and I want to talk about it because there's no actual story connected to it, just a bunch of babes~

It’s gonna be a long post, though. 

This is kind of a lazy gang but I love them.

Minseok (Xiumin) is the leader and he doesn't really do much right now other than being soft and kissing his babes. It's not really some kind of harem or whatever because it's mostly just platonic kisses but he just cares for the members so. fucking. much like where would he be without them? 

That's a good question and also he would probably be in jail, not because he'd get caught but just because what's the fun in doing soft crimes and stuff if you're all lonely? 

So yeah, he has done most of what the others do but they do it far better than he does - and because he's got an organized mind and is really good at figuring out how to work everything so nothing ever goes wrong, he's just ... the leader. 

Honestly, he doesn't look like the leader at all but hey, that's good because nobody would actually think he could do the shit he does. And if you were to betray him, he would kiss your temple right before he cuts your throat. That's my boy Minseok.

Jongin (or Junghwa, maybe Junghwa tbh) is 2nd in command but only because they're romantically involved with Xiumin lmao. Like that's literally it. The two of them just love each other a little more than they love the rest of the members. They're also the scariest member of the gang outside of Xiumin whose appearance betrays his mind. 

Either way, Jongin/Junghwa is scary as fuck. They do most of the murders and honestly, they mostly do them for Chanyeol's sake but they can do them for any of the gang members. They enjoy it, the desperation of their victim as they stare death in the eyes. Exhilarating! And it's just so enjoyable to lift that gun, aim that knife, press those fingers into throats. 

Jongin/Junghwa loves looking into the eyes of their victims to really see the fear and they honestly have absolutely no trouble killing kids either. 

There's nothing psychopathic over them as such, though. Emotions fully intact, moral code just completely screwed. 

They love cuddling after a job well done tho and they sleep practically 15 hours a day so most of the time they look so so so soft and approachable lmao.

Chen (Jongdae) is the information. Mostly he gets it from eavesdropping and monitoring the police and the political people but sometimes he also gets it on the streets. Honestly, Jongdae is so wild on the streets like he can sniff up the most irrelevant information and still have it be relevant. Ask about anyone and Jongdae will get you information. 

He's got a lot of informants as well. Actually he prefers everything but hacking because hacking is really really boring and it leaves him alone in front of a computer. He's a social guy, man, what did you expect? 

He knows how to hack, though, but it's just not something he does if he can avoid it. Getting information the old way is preferred. 

Jongdae used to be a spy for North Korea but then he ended up liking South Korea too much so he defected and found Xiumin and Jongin/Junghwa instead and hey, that was pretty good as well. 

Jongdae has gotten new identities countless of times but hey, with a guy like Chanyeol, it couldn't get any easier.

So yeah, lets talk about Chanyeol because now I've mentioned him twice, haha. Chanyeol does ghosting. That's primarily his job and oh boy does he enjoy it. In case you don't know what ghosting is, it's taking the identity of someone that few people know has died. 

And that's where Jongin/Junghwa comes into their partnership because what better way than to steal a dead person's identity than to kill them first? 

That way very few people will know they have died (if any at all) and fixing passport photos etc. is a piece of cake. So mostly they ghost when they need knew identities because that way they can take on a "living" person's identity and if everything else fits (age, appearance to a certain extent, nationality and so on) then why not? 

He can make fake identities from scratch as well but that requires more work and Chanyeol actually likes ghosting. To think of the lives they overtake and wonder who they were in the past. 

Oh, to dig up all those childhood memories of the ghost and hand them to a member - what a joy. 

Chanyeol honestly lives for ghosting. 

He's also tall as fuck and has a wide smile on his lips so being in public is not really any problem and - seriously, Chanyeol has so much free time, what is he gonna do with it?

Which leads us to Joonmyun. Not really but I want to talk about Joonmyun. So ... Joonmyun actually does a lot of the footwork in the gang. How boring, now isn't it? Okay, no, not really. 

Joonmyun is a total babe and mostly he just sets stuff on fire. 

Arson is his specialty and he's developed his own way of doing it. Like you just know when it's EXO's arsonist that has been lighting fires but nobody is able to catch him because he's just that sneaky. 

He's so good at what he does, though, because he lingers in the night and also looks like a normal business man at day, assessing the buildings, how to light them on fire subtly and makes mental notes for days or even weeks. 

Every arson is so well-planned that it's just impossible to trace it back to him, yet at the same time there's just this thing that makes it his entirely. 

He also does drugs as in he sells them. Sometimes he hands them out at night clubs because why the fuck not and he's got that dealer reputation but nobody really dares take him down as a dealer either because Joonmyun is the perfect liar and he can get away with everything. 

Smooth motherfucker really.

Let's talk about Soo next. I kind of want it to be Sookyung, though. She's a badass woman. She holds a master in biochemistry and that's actually her best weapon. She spends most of her time in labs and she hates noise and bothersome gang members that just wants to cuddle like get the fuck out of her lab. Right now. 

She is actually kind of harmless, even if she's also the most deadlist.

Sookyung usually makes CBRN threats. She has yet to actually release anything to create a contamination but that's beside the question. The threats are definitely enough to have people do their bidding, especially political people. 

If you don't know what CBRN stands for, it's an abbreviation of Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear and it's used as either attacks, defense or happens as accidents, usually with quite horrible consequences. 

While Sookyung deals mostly with the Chemical and the Biological aspect of CBRN, she has knowledge of the other two as well. She doesn't really use them for consequences but rather nurses her vira and bacteria and tries to combine and create new fatal chemicals. 

She's a little introverted and mostly wears a scowl on her face but she's also fiercely loyal and when she's comfortable she can speak for hours about her small microscopic children. 

She prefers Xiumin, Jongin/Junghwa, Seyoon and Lay over the talkative members such as Jongdae, Chanyeol and Baekhyun.

Lay operates in a business suit as he walks around in the daylight and looks into numbers. He works top jobs and steals millions of money with fraud, but he's the kindest person on Earth and nobody would consider him worthy of such crimes. 

He's intelligent as fuck, often leading to confusing moments and he's often far ahead compared to the people around him. It makes him seem rather dazed and sometimes people think he smokes weed. Yixing has never touched such substances, though, his intelligence just puts him on another level. 

Fraud keeps him sane and he loves tempering with the numbers, watching his own bank account grow as he empties banks and large companies before he moves onto the next one. 

Originally from China, he has contacts in China as well and sometimes operate there. He likes traveling around the world and Xiumin mostly lets him. 

Innocence is his appearance and nobody would suspect a bad bone in him. Too bad they're wrong.

Baekhyun and Seyoon have a small competition, but let's talk about Baekhyun first.

Baekhyun is a thief. He likes action and stuff happening and if he's without his gun it's all just wrong. That's why he has found solitude in robberies and shoplifting, stealing mostly in broad daylight where the chance of getting caught is high. 

But Baekhyun is also like a magician and even if he is caught, there's no way to find the stolen goods on him. He cannot be spotted on cameras and he's like a chameleon as he blends in with people. He's absolutely sneaky and he's so observant. 

Baekhyun always knows the trends, come to Baekhyun for anything and he will know. The most social of them all (although followed closely by Jongdae) Baekhyun loves to be where people are. 

He also pickpockets and he's good at it. Refined pickpocketing with a dash of excitement is his specialty along with the shoplifting and the robberies. 

It isn't uncommon that he shoplifts something none of the other members of the gang don't think they need such as expensive wine, Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses.

Seyoon is also a thief, but she has specialised in much more refined theft. 

Her specialty is racketeering and her patience and persistence is what lets her get away with it. She plays on fear and often convinces her victims they need the protection she offers, even if the danger is completely fictional. She enjoys the smooth lie that slips through her lips and the fear she can instill in people, only to collect hard cash in her hands. 

She loves watching her bank account grow with deposits and her lips are usually curled into a small smile. She's cocky as fuck and considers her work the most important for the gang. Where would they be without her really. 

She also does pickpocketing because she cannot let Baekhyun have all the fun. 

While she isn't as extroverted and social as he, she has the benefit of her good looks and men are so easy to pickpocket when they're drunk. Her playing field is clubs and bars and she rarely sets foot in a shopping mall.

At the end of the day, she and Baekhyun always counts who got most money from their pickpocketing and while Baekhyun often wins, Seyoon still considers herself a more successful thief. After all, she does the refined theft.

I'm not even sure this gang could work in the real world, but they're important and soft and even though they don't necessarily do all the dirty work with extreme violence and such they still have enough money and most certainly enough power to secretly run the government. 

That said, they're usually also hidden from other gangs because of their little street-action and involvement with the rest of them.

Shimmy shimmy kokobop, I think I like it~