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thueenz · 10 months

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wait I thought the dodo posted animal welfare/rescue content? What is shady about that corporation/brand? :0

hi i just woke up hopefully i can word my thoughts! so sorry if none of this makes sense ahshshg im not like a professional in these spaces just someone very into animal welfare so bear with me here. this is all from memory as well because i refuse to watch a bunch of dodo videos but i doubt they have changed at all judging by my quick skimming of their account lol

basically it...is and it isnt. Not all the dodos content is bad on technicality. but the people behind it clearly dont actually care about accurate information or animal welfare at all, or at least not in a way that actually helps animals.

concerning point one: improper keeping of wild animals. theres many videos on the dodo of wild animals being kept as household pets, where they most certainly are not thriving lmao. Most of their content is dogs atp at least but theres still a hefty amount of wild animals. foxes, deer, raccoons, opossum, and monkeys i just saw from a quick scroll. not the monkeys good lord the poor things. the dodo promotes and shares this content, these wild animals playing with domestic ones (unsafe), the keeping of monkeys is especially bad they cannot mentally thrive in a home environment and should not be cuddling dogs 😭 all these animals are going to suffer. they are not domesticated, they are not fit to live by humans and get their needs met outside of a zoo where they have an entire enclosure and team of people looking after them. opossums are also if i remember incredibly tricky to keep healthy in captivity and almost always become dangerously overweight in the hands of pet owners, if not always.

ive seen the dodo post 'heartwarming' videos of baby animal rescue by the layperson and how 'cute' it is that the animal got attached and now has to live as a pet. its not cute. its not heartwarming. what you did was fail to rescue the animal. take it to a professional so it can be released properly. if the animal gets habituated to humans, then you failed. it is a failure of a rescue, not cute. organizations try their best to PREVENT that usually.

concerning point 2: promoting dangerous animal pairs. small prey animals and cats are the most common. cat saliva is dangerously toxic to small rodents, lizards, and birds. they should never be put together. every time i see a video of a cat 'playing' with a little hamster or something i die a bit its so stressful. these animals are often stressed by the cats as well. cats have prey drive, instinct. they are going to kill your hamster girl. they just are.

concerning point 3: rampant anthropomorphism. im not sure if people understand what i mean by that so let me try and explain. anthropomorphism is the name for the human tendency to apply human thoughts, emotions, and morals, to inhuman objects and creatures. its what we do. we view things from the only lens we know. however, to do this to animals so freely without a second thought is horrifically damaging. animals are not people. the dodo promotes false images of what animals are feeling and thinking, and applies human concepts of what 'freedom' and 'respect' is to them if that makes sense. its the basic thing all animal rights activists do- which, animal rights activists advocate for animals to have the same rights as humans. the term gets watered down and accepted but most of them genuinely want this, something incredibly damaging for these animals.

anthropomorphism leads to abuse. each animal is different and needs different needs for its own health, not what a human thinks it would want in the animals place. a common point is to say "what if that was you" to a farm animal. its not me. because i am not a cow. a cow has no concept of caring about freedom. it cares that its well fed and healthy. or insisting animals are feeling guilty for something, or insisting they dont have instinct or prey drive and 'would never' because they 'know hes family', or other human views of what animals are feeling instead of understanding what is really going on, which, surprise, damages the animal greatly. they need to be cared for as an animal, not a human.

concerning point 4: a common talking point among animal rights activists, as you can guess, is veganism and completely stopping animal agriculture. this is obviously not good. i wont get into veganism right now unless someone wants me to(but living in a house with a family of animal rights activists vegans, i know first hand unfortunately.) i dont remember what videos exactly but i know the dodo has spread these points in the past, maybe not outright, but with falsified information about farms and livestock. animal farming is not evil. if i have to see one more video of "omg the mother cow is crying for her baby 😭think before you buy meat.." and its a cow crying to be bred bc shes in heat i will explode LMFAO. and then they bring in a calf to reunite with her thats clearly an entirely different breed they just bought for the video to make people sad. not talking about a dodo video there just a general genre of video but i wouldnt be surprised if the dodo posted one of those too 💀.that space is rich with dangerous misinfo about animal welfare and animals themselves, prioritizing human feelings over what the animals actually need. anyway the dodo tends to post content from that point of view

im sure the dodo fakes a lot of the content. in general like. livestock arent just laying near dead on the road from farm trucks after falling out. and other stuff but i dont remember specifics but its a pretty common thing in the animal rights activist scene. believe it or not farmers want their animals alive and healthy for good product if nothing else. mass factory farming and neglect is a product of capitalism not a product of "inherently unethical farming"

if anyone thinks "well, the dodo might not know all this" then they should not be running a widely viral brand about animals. full stop. they dont care. if they did they wouldve long since changed. they care about what makes people feel good, not what is good for the animals. there is no excuse to not know at least this basic information if you are running an account like that. i see a lot of abuse online from people who dont know better because the average person knows next to nothing about animal welfare beyond how to keep a dog alive. and i wish desperately there was more education on this stuff but it is what it is. i will never blame someone for not knowing something as long as they are willing to learn. the disconnect from animals and understanding them in this world is a huge problem, especially the disconnect of where you get your food. but they do not get that excuse.

tl;dr dodo promotes neglectful and dangerous keeping of animals, and false information about them.

#i hope this makes senseeeeee #if anyone knows more about something and i was wrong on smth or has smth to add lmk #like i said not an expert so i was a bit vague lol #i may be underestimating my knowledge level tho idk whats considered a lot #if u have any questions lmk <33 im happy to talk about this stuff and try and spread better welfare knowledge #oh on that topic if youve only seen the term animal rights activist #'animal welfarist' if i remember is if someone actually gaf about the animal #the terms get used interchangeably at this point by like media which is awful bc they are VERY VERY DIFFERENT #i hope i remember the name right tho if i didnt lmk 💀💀#pers #originally turned off rbs but then edited to turn them on bc why not if someone wants to share dodo slander

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plinkcat-gif · 2 years

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i think kks would go into labor fiest and be just the most miserable wet dog abt it in the world. obito is very genuinely on the verge of hyperventilating into a paper bag and rin is very medical abt it. "no I need to take care of him that is MY boyfriend and MY baby i can help with the delivery!!" and gets herself so worked up abt it SHE goes into labor and is just kind of like "hm. oh well." momo and mosu come on the same day which adds to people calling them twins. obi+min nearly fucking die from the stress. kushina keeps them in line so kkrin dont murder them for being overprotective and inssne. obito cries the whole labor, just nonstop streams of tears because 1. his people are in pain and he cant help and 2. HIS KIDS R COMING?? NOW?? its a mess.

how did u know exactly the scenario in my head dude wtf hskdjsjxhkkvbk

also proposal: kakashi spends the whole time battling between two instincts: “i can do it myself, dumbass” and “comfort comfort comfort comfort comfort i need to be comforted.” rin is miserable throughout the whole thing because kakashi keeps rapidly swinging between “rinnnn i am so cuddly and sweet” and “do not look at me i will Kill You”

kushina sends the boys on meaningless errands to keep them away, and neither of them catch onto the fact that kakashi and rin don’t actually like chocolate until they’ve bought it. no refunds.

and AKDJCSKDJFHSKSHD obito just crying the whole time has my hearttttt <3333 he’s holding mosu in his lap and he’s just like. fuck. the tissue box ran out are you joking

#kirpy answers #obkkrin #ughhhhhh i have so many feels ideas for them and having the kids <333 #kakashi’s feels don’t come in until a couple days later when he’s processed what’s happened #and he is just an absolute mess for a while #also idk how to tw tag this so if i need to lemme know #tw pregnancy #that one fs at least

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miridiums-writing · 4 years

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Loki x reader

This is the longest thing I've ever written, also having to post on my phone because I dont have a computer so I apologise I can to the read more thingy

Summary; Loki decides to prank his brother one night and end up becoming a therapist for Y/N, currently the most withdrawn are tough to crack of the bunch, as a snake

Warning; swearing, panic attacks, depression, self-harm, past abuse, past sexual assault, mentions of medical torture, death of a friend, the team seeming like dickheads, I do apologise. Also, may have plugged in my favourite power again…… please don’t hate me, reader is so oblivious it should be illegal. Please don’t read if this triggers you!!

Word count; 2k

Loki slowly slithered down the hallway, scales making a noise very comforting to him against the floor. Being a snake gave him a sense of peace and freedom. Tonight, he was heading for only one room, Thor’s. he hadn’t pranked his brother in a month and felt it was necessary to do so now. As he passed one more door until he reached his destination, he heard sniffling and hiccupping coming from the room. Loki’s curiosity got the better of him and he decided to investigate. The room was dark, though he could make out to outline of a person under the blankets, full on sobbing now. Loki carefully manoeuvred his small form up the bedframe to the person. They were shaking and sobbing rather badly now, he moved under the blankets and towards the person.

Loki was now curled around the persons hand that was currently gripping onto their hair harshly, almost of the verge of ripping it out. He started to lick at anything he could noticing quickly they were caught in a panic. Their panic was crashing down on them, making them unable to see him or even recognize he was there. Their breathing was laboured and harsh as if they had just run a marathon. Loki tightened himself around their hand in the hopes the pain would ground them. He relaxed when he heard them yelp, pulling the blankets off themselves to look down at Loki. Loki’s blood ran cold when he saw their face. There you were, tears staining your face and eyes red raw, confusion setting into your features as you looked down at him.

“thanks,” you said, your voice rough from crying. “I probably would still be panicking without you.” To you Loki was simply a snake looking up at you curiously. Currently Loki’s mind was screaming. What if they knew it was him and got mad for eaves dropping, what that why you were talking to him as you would a person? You were racking a shaky hand through your hair now, looking as though you were battling with yourself. Like you wanted to say something, but you were unsure. Loki was starting to look to find a way out when you started to speak again. “Fuck it, it’s not like I can talk to actual people,” you look Loki in the eye. “Plus, its not like a snake can look at me with pity.” Loki was slightly confused now, wondering where you were going with this. “ok, how should I? you know what ill just start from the beginning and see where I go shall we?” you gave Loki an unsure smile, though it further confused Loki to see how genuine it was.

“I have anxiety and depression. Um, I self-harmed, still do sometimes when it gets too much, I-uh- fuck I don’t know” you were looking across the room now, fiddling with your hands trying to explain. Loki curled up on your lap again and decided to wait for you to continue. It might help and he didn’t want to leave you alone like this, no matter how scary you were. “My parents were, well, they were shit. I was the oldest, so I took most of the attacks they handed out, punishments I took most of even if I wasn’t the one at fault. When I turned ten-” you cut yourself off to wipe away the tears pooling around your eyes “Sorry,” you chocked out as more tears made their way down your face. “Just, give me a second”

Loki continued to patiently wait for you to continue. He was honestly intrigued now. Maybe learning about your past could help him form a bridge between you, especially since you always seemed to distance yourself from everyone. He knew everyone needed someone to lean on. The tears had slowed again, you took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart.

“ok, when I turned 14 I was sold off, my parents were fed up of dealing with me and they ripped me away from those I cared about. I was sold at auction from money and given from person to person” your features were changing now, anger contorting your face “I was used as property, a toy, not a person, something people can just own. Used again and again, my innocence ripped from me!” you were yelling now though when you noticed you took a calm breath “sorry. So yes, I was basically a sex toy for gross old men. Though a good thing came from it. When I turned 17, I met a guy called Phoenix. He was, awesome. So genuine, so kind. We were both in this awful situation, but we had each other, we told everything about ourselves to each other and it was a freedom I hadn’t had before them. An actual friend.” The tears had started again but you just wiped them away and continued your story, Loki hadn’t moved yet, frozen in place through the power of your words. “when we were 18, phoenix was taken out the cell one night. Dragged by his hair outside. I remember vividly, we were both crying reaching for each other.” Your hands were clenched in anger now. “THEY SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!” you looked down at the snake in anger, though when your eyes met you tried to breath again, trying to keep calm. After a few minutes of deep breathes you continued once more. “I guess I could say a piece of me was lost that day, I lost the only thing I had left and I just broke. I was numb, I didn’t move, I didn’t eat, I didn’t do anything. When they found I couldn’t be useful as a sex toy anymore they sold me off again. To Hydra. I was subject 1843.” Loki internally gasped instantly, that was them? When the team had last broken into a Hydra base, he remembered reading something about them.

Subject 1843

Reported missing for 9 months.

Uses; medical chemicals for the next generation of super soldiers

Experimental aid

Stress relief

Loki was brimming with anger now. Everyone on the team backhanded them as a spoilt kid who didn’t like people, they all brushed them off ignoring them most of the time as most hand given up even trying to reach out to them. The only ones who still bothered were Cap and Spider ling, and even then, the interactions were slim to none, asking how their day was, that was about it. They kept to themselves otherwise. Loki remembered Bucky being mad because they spoke up about their past being bad and Bucky instantly being mad that they didn’t know what true pain was like. Yet there they were taking every punch and all that pain, emotional and physical from the team, people who are supposed to care about them and they said nothing.

“I was used as a test subject of sorts, chemicals were tested on me first, if I had a reaction, they didn’t use them. Simple as. I was used in experiments, my body was simply theirs to play around with, that explains the butterfly thing. One chemical reacted with him body and now I can create butterflies, somehow. I don’t mind the butterflies are rather calming. Anyway, when I turned 19, I found a way to escape and never looked back. Now I’m here, in bed having panic attacks and refusing help from actual people” you chuckled to yourself without humour “I’m so messed up inside, it doesn’t feel appropriate to reach out to them now, I’ve been so cruel.” Without thinking Loki shakes his head, then both of you freeze. You look down at him curiously. “You understand me?” Loki decided it better if you know and nods his head. “huh, cool,” you said smiling down at him. “ok then, who do you suggest I spoke to, who do you think I should trust?” Loki looks at them ridiculously for a second. They didn’t get he wasn’t a snake? Either way Loki decided to make his way to his own room as you followed behind him, your feet making a gentle pitter patter on the floor.

When they both arrive at his room Loki quickly dodges in before them and changes back sitting on the bed and reading. When you walk in, he looks up at you, trying not to show he already knew why you were there. You stand there for a second looking around the room, clearly searching for the snake, your hands massaging each other nervously. “I have some stuff I want to tell someone, will you let me talk?”

-------------------------------------------------------time skip------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki sat with your head in his lap, after so much crying that night you had exhausted yourself, you had fallen asleep on his shoulder, but he carefully moved so you were more comfortable. Though it wasn’t much he felt, almost at peace. He noticed you had told snake Loki a lot more than him, but the fact you had even spoken up, to him of all people, filled himself with pride, you trusted your instincts and the snake to speak up finally, and relieve yourself of the burden you had carried for so long. Though now he felt it was only his place to explain to the team. Before you had fallen asleep, he had asked you about it. You explained how you wanted to tell them but couldn’t work up the courage. He asked if you wanted him to do it and he agreed, before you passed out on him. He picked you up, placing you under the covers and called out to Friday. “assemble the team in the kitchen, this is important”

When Loki arrived at the kitchen everyone was there, expect for you. “right let’s get this started,” he said, clapping his hands together. “we have a lot to get through” Thor looked at him with confusion “what is this about?”

“all in due time brother”

“what about Y/N we can’t start without them” Cap said looking as confused as the rest of them.

“Let me explain first talk later, I need you full attention” and with that Loki told them everything you told human him. The team were just as shocked as him by the end of the story. Tony, and Bucky looked the most shocked, knowing full well how often they spoke down to them about them not understanding true pain. Cap and Natasha looked appalled both questioning their morals. The whole group sat in silence for a full five minutes, taking in the information. Being disgusted in themselves for their behaviour, not noticing sooner, not recognizing. If only they did more.

“standing here feeling bad isn’t going to do anything about it,” Clint said. “we’re heroes. We save people, and now its our turn to save a friend. So, stop feeling bad for yourselves, you can’t change the past. Come one, let’s go help them” Clint’s speech seemed to take them out their slump, their eyes regaining their life again and a of justice settling into all of them. Its time to do what they did best. Save other.

Over the course of the next 6 months the whole team was kinder, sure you still pushed them away to begin with, but it was better. Some night Loki still came back to your room as a snake, to calm you from panic attacks, and help you sleep. You and human Loki got closer too, you both ended up liking each other a lot, both finding refuge in each other. When Loki confessed to you, you felt free, like the shackles holding you back were breaking apart, your wings were expanding and you were taking flight, away from the suffering, away from the pain, towards freedom, towards love, towards peace. And when you both kissed for the first time you knew you were truly free.

#loki fanfic #loki of asgard #loki #loki fandom #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #tw murder #tw past trauma

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og-danny-dorito · 4 years

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[ Tanjiro Headcanons To Fuel The Fluff/Angst Tank ]

He Is Baby™ thank you very much and i love him with my whole heart

- hi hello i would like to share my thoughts on this baby cause i love him v much

- he gives me the vibe that he would def love anything strawberry related. like strawberry milk, strawberry shortcake, strawberry yogurt- the list goes ON

- he would eat them more often if they weren't so godamn expensive, and most of the time you can only find those kinds of products when in the city and he mostly travels through the woods rather than through heavily populated areas. he does get them when he can though, and usually has some stocked up when he and nezuko leave rural areas

- thats not the only fruit he likes though! hes also a huge fan of cherries but he gets those even less since they're even MORE expensive. he also very much likes mint chocolate chip icecream! something about the clash of dark chocolate and refreshing mint is just so good to him, and usually he’ll try to look for that specific flavor if theres any icecream places nearby. my basis for that?

- thankfully though he doesnt really buy things from others since he just gets most of his food from the surrounding forest. you see, tanjiro literally lived in the woodlands for most of his early life before the whole 'incident', so hes accustomed to being more of a hunter-gatherer when it comes to those sorts of things

- he knows a whole bunch of stuff about forest plants and topography for that reason specifically, and can make food out of pretty much nothing due to having to go through some rough winter times that required scavenging

- overall though hes a pretty good cook! his father and mother both liked to cook and bake and all that before they died, and, being eager to help and learn, he usually watched them when they did or asked to help with preparing the food

- he actually probably has a lot of domestic skills, now that i think about it. things like sewing up ripped clothing or repairing damaged items are almost muscle memory to him since he was raised to value what he had and not aimlessly spend his money due to his humble beginnings

- he’s actually more comfortable with simple things rather than lavish ones since thats what he grew up with. being a demon slayer means that he does get commissioned to do things sometimes or paid for it, but he usually gives most of his money to poeple who need it after spending some of what he has on more efficient and useful things like better fabric for clothes and repairs for things that he doesn't have the skill set to fix himself

- due to this humble attitude he has for things, he barely ever really treats himself to things he enjoys. he usually puts others before himself and thus forgets about his own needs, leading him to often deny taking care of himself if he deems to 'not have enough time' or 'not being important enough”

- usually forcing him to sit down and eat or at least take a moment to drink some tea can calm his nerves a ton, even if its only just for a second

- i'm pretty sure that his favorite drink is green tea (or strawberry milk), actually. its just so naturally calming and relaxing that he usually uses it as a staple for calming himself down or taking a breather from the stressful life he's lead so far

- for someone that barely takes care of himself hes awfully adamant about others taking acare of themselves. oh, you haven't slept in three days because of work? guess what you're going to sleep right now. no, dont Mention how he keeps moving even though he should be in bed because of a broken rib, your needs come first now go to sleep

- deeefinitely the mom friend type in more ways then one. its p obvious that he already takes care of Nezuko, Zenitsu and Inosuke as good friends of his, but hes kinda adamant on taking care of them almost like they're younger than him or something. this doesnt mean that they can’t take care of themselves of course, he just kinda feels the natural instinct to protect people he values if he can (mainly due to the fear that he’ll suddenly loose them without making it clear he cares about them first but we will unpack that suitcase LATER in the list)

-for that reason i can safely say that he's probably fantastic with kids because of his gentle nature. hes just so soft and pure that children naturally feel calm around him? its weird how like a baby will literally stop crying in a city full of people just because they saw tanjiro wave and smile at them and as SOON as hes out of eyesight they start crying again. also tanjiro holding a baby? you CANNOT tell me this man wouldnt softly sing some lullaby he remembers from his childhood to a child cradled in his arms, fast asleep. and the smile he gives to the person who finds him like that is BLINDING i cannot comprehend the purity-

-the EXACT same thing goes for animals. its straight up canon that he understands (to an extent) what birds are saying when they're chirping to one another, so its probably safe to assume that he might understand a little bit of what other animals may be saying when they communicate

- yet another effect of living in the forest most of his life and being way too observant at his age :p

- when dogs bark he responds to them out of instinct, knowing what they mean. when some pig just randomly snorts at him don't be surprised when he just says "oh, thank you!" in the most earnest tone possible because he probably knows what the animal said and is responding to it honestly. answering like he's pretending to know what it means would be dishonest, and thats too out of character for the sunshine boy

-its also gotta be mentioned that tanjiro physically rejects the concept of being dishonest. i swear to god I'm not making this up- when hes lying its so easy to tell because his face is physically rejecting the concept that hes not being sincere

-this goes for pretty much anything- he cant really blatantly lie without shifting in place or making a weird expression. its no expection that when asked about his feelings that he can barely keep a straight face by saying that he's "okay"

-theres just so much pent up grief and sorrow for so many things that its hard to really say that he's "just fine" or "alright" some days. the accumulation of trauma and guilt has lead up to this constant dread boiling in the pit of his stomach that he'll fail one day, and this would've been all for nothing

-he'll die one day without his goals being met, without Nezuko being healed, without his friends safe, without so many things that he thought he could fix that will eat him up until he fixes them. he doesn't have frequent depressive episodes all that often anymore since Sakonji helped him with that (kind of, it was kind of a group effort by his other superiors, the Pillars, too with some reassurance and advice since a good portion have Been There Done That with the survivor’s guilt and the like) in terms of teaching him how to meditate more frequently and search for positive outlets for his negative feelings. he helped him accept that it was okay to feel bad about it, but he couldn't give up, no matter what. because “What worth was your dream if you just gave up in the end?”

-and so he doesn't. he never gives up, on anything. he refuses to give up when his friends are in danger and the odds are against him, or when hes face to face with an eldritch demon who's been alive longer than the numbers he can count. tanjiro is incredibly persistent in his efforts, big or small, and makes a conscious decision every time to not abandon what he worked for because the phrase "What worth was your dream if you just gave up in the end?" motivates him to be better than who he was yesterday and try his best to reach his dreams

- because of this he's a heavy believer that most people can change. i say most because I'm pretty sure he knows Muzan will never change, or some of the other terrible people in the world. he's accepted over time that he can’t help everyone, but he'll be damned if he doesn't try his hardest in figuring ot if they are truly, genuinely, capable of being better. so he's incredibly supportive of people who actually do make efforts to improve themselves because he knows how hard it is to come from such a bad situation/bad mindset and reteach good values and habits

- that doesn't mean that poeple are expempt from their punishments of course- everyone deserves the consequences of their actions to be better to know what to improve on, but he has sympathy for the poeple who's consequences stop their lives short (example, countless demons that he feels terrible for because they came from really bad situations)

-since he knows how hard it is to improve on anything- he’s very very supportive to people who do that for themselves or for others. in fact, he would go out of his way for about anyone to make their life a little better but if he sees someone struggling their way to their personal best he'll happily be a help to them in any way that they can. oh, you were training really hard today and had no success in perfecting a certain technique? its alright, you can just lay down right now while he fixes your bath water and tomorrow he'll help you out with it in any way he can. hes the best cheerleader!

-overall tanjiro is very sweet and kind, even though he has personal problems with his own demons and feeling as if he's a burden most of the time. for all this suffering, he views the prosperity of the people around him worth it and is selfless to the end of the line for those whom he cares about

[ ~Thank You For Reading!~ ]

#tanjiro #tanjiro kamado #tanjiro headcanon #tanjiro headcanons #tanjiro imagine #tanjiro imagines #demon slayer #demon slayer tanjiro #demon slayer headcanon #demon slayer headcanons #demon slayer imagine #demon slayer imagines #kimetsu no yaiba #KNY #kny headcanon #kny headcanons #kny imagine #kny imagines #water breathing

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uncertaininnit · 4 years

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who wants to read an essay about my relationship with simping/an appreciation(/simping lol) post about Will+Eret and also seperately tommyinnit that was written at 4:22 am and then added to the queue because i love the queue system also fun fact i pronounced the word ‘queue’ as ‘cc-week’ for like an entire year and idk why anyways

lets just jump into it

lol

so. if somebody was to ask me who my favorite mcyt is, i would think about it for a moment and eventually answer with either Wilbur or Eret. and i think that is purely out of simping instinct or whatever the fuck.

to start, Wilbur; the prettiest man, period. i do not take constructive criticism. he is literally gorgeous and i get so mad at him for putting himself down all the time because he doesnt deserve the shit, especially not from himself. he is 24 years old and has the lowest self-esteem out of anybody i can think of. i want to yell in his face all the time. i want to tell him simps are the same species as him, and they have REASONS to simp. if you keep seeing appreciation posts about yourself (which im sure he does) that means people APPRECIATE YOU and WANT YOU to feel APPRECIATED.

anyway, back to simping. let’s start from the top. his goddamn hair. it is, it is, and i just took a deep breath, so pretty. maybe it isnt the hair itself, probably, but the way it is done. wavy dark brown hair all floofy in the front. and he is constantly messing with it, which is THE cutest thing. when he is excited, he moves a lot, and his hair moves with him and gets messed up and ahhhcvkvyr moving on.

his face? lets start with his eyes. they are so pretty. i think my opinion on eyes is probably weird, and allow me to explain why. i never ever notice somebodies eye color when talking to them. i just dont even look. so when i am actively paying attention to somebody’s eyes, they are that much more important to me. but idk, i kinda feel like his eyes are one of the biggest factors of his face? like, he looks really pretty whether he is smiling or not, because his face doesn’t ride on his smile.

sidetrack paragraph about george: i think george is that way. he is adorable, but he is only really adorable when he is smiling. if i look up ‘georgenotfound cute’ it will be entirely him smiling, and never any other facial expression because he genuinely looks like the fucking weirdest thing sometimes when making a serious face. back to will.

i dont pay attention to noses because who even cares dude but i’m sure his nose does a good job of supporting his looks as well so good job nose

his SMILE. he doesn’t need to smile, but dude, when he does, it’s like i always used to say (and still would say) in regards to eijiro kirishima. it’s like... sunbeams, like rays of light are in his mouth and escaping when he smiles.i wonder how he keeps a star in there. because his smile literally lights up my heart. and when he tilts his head(basically all the time luckily)? so goddamn pretty. pretty man. pretty.

that brings us to his neck, which is- no, kidding, but i do want to talk about his vocal chords! firstly his speaking voice, which i guess as an american it hits different for me because of the accent. but- i dont think i can put it into words. but the way he puts thoughts into words-(lol) idk, his voice is just really sweet. and his SINGING VOICE, here we go.

so he sings, duh. and i- holy fuck. he just sounds good, you know? he is a good singer. i want to put my emotions simply this time. he sings well, and he sounds good. a pretty voice for a pretty man. i cant even try to elaborate.

basically the only other thing of my concern is his fucking yellow sweater? or jumper or whatever the fuck? and his beanie? on his body? damn. i am genuinely attached to that sweater. it just looks good, ok? it does.

oh yeah, and he’s hella fucking tall. 6′5? are you kidding? you couldn’t have at least been short so we could make fun of you?

oh yeah and his laugh-

it is now 4:53 am and a bitch is tired but i have an entire fucking train of thoughts and they must be somewhere before they slip away

the next part- Eret. i adore Eret. so incredibly much. and let me start this by saying i’m going to consistantly call him a he, because he doesn’t care and so that makes it easier for me. ok? ok.

he is the opposite of Wilbur in this one regard, confidence. and self-esteem. eret loves himself. that attitude spreads. look, not only is he like the #1 bicon in the world as far as i’m concerned, but he also actively fucks gender roles any day. strawberry dress pog? strawberry dress pog.

but seriously, he rocked the strawberry dress. and the suit, though i missed that stream. he rocks his crown, his sunglasses, just anything he puts on. and don’t get me started on the BOOTS

(im started on the boots) so firstly the heel boots, the first ones he got. when i first saw clips, my only thought was something like ‘woah.’ or maybe ‘damn.’ at that point i didn’t know much about him, just that he looked STELLAR in those boots (and the betrayal and shit yknow) and the PLATFORMS DUDE

the platforms are the same but moar tall, which is incredible. oh and now back to strawberry dress- have you seen him twirl? the twirl? hello? have you seen it? you must.

also i havent even talked about HIM yet. hove you seen that picture of him with a bird on his shoulder? he is facing the bird, i think looking at it, with a wide smile across his face. and it is so pretty. he has the prettiest smile.

also today i was looking for flour at the store place and a clip of him was playing in my mind- he was doing like an announcer voice, like in every superhero movie trailer- and he was just coming up with something to say, and what he ened up saying was ‘in a world... where.... cookies.... are made of pringles’ and OMFG its making me laugh even now. like of absolutely anything, that was the example he made. just thinking about it is making me smile.

speaking of, have you heard his voice? his normal voice is really really deep anyways, but he has crazy range- he can effortlessly(i originally wrote effortly and when i noticed i laughed because i am so fucking tired bfv9wuocl) go from like an elmo impression (and a good one) to a just REALLY low voice, lower than his normal low voice.

AND HIS SINGING VOICE! he doesn’t like actually make music like wilbur but on that one stream where he did kareoke (how the fuck is it spelled) with fundy and his voice is SO LIKE its deep and its just pretty and i never want to hear normal sweater weather ever again, just him singing it.

i think this is where i’m done with eret- it is 5:18 now, and a BITCH IS TIRED but i need to finish this while i’m still feeling this wayy or i’ll never finish it, i know this from experience.

and now it’s tommy time

the og reason i decided to make this an actual post . but i had to explain the simping thing before i got into my thoughts about tommy.

but let me start this with just saying yes, i love him. he is a big man and i want him to be happy. which is the topic for today’s discussion, AHEM.

so tommyinnit, right? he is 16, which is why i do NOT simp.i dont care that im also a minor, i wouldn’t do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, ever. in any world. never. because look- i dont know how to put it, but tommy is SIXTEEN. still young and impressionable and all that junk. and he is a fairly fucking famous twitch streamer. he does that almost daily.

what i’m saying is i dont want him to get hurt. him, and tubbo too. they are a part of the world, part of the public, all the time. don’t you think that is stressful? do you guys remember his haircut stream? on the day of his haircut? and chat was making fun of him for it, and wilbur was making fun of him for it. that is how i express affection, with my real friends as well. playful bullying. but at some point while Will was teasing him, he says something along the lines of ‘yeah, the big man hasn’t been having too great a day’ or something like that, and dude, my heart dropped.

a. he had mentioned earlier that he didn’t want to stream the day of his haircut because hair is always weird that first day, but since he hadn’t streamed in a good bit he felt obliged to. i dont really.. idk, i dont really like that. i dont want him to have to put himself in uncomfortable situations because he feels like he needs to for us. i don’t think that is healthy.

and b. chat and wilbur were bullying him. good-naturedly, but still, when he mentioned he had been having a bad day, the chat turned around and instantly started yelling shit like ‘AHHHH SORRY BIG MAN YOUR HAIR IS FINE’ and when Wilbur kept teasing him (you fucking beautiful bully man fuck off) yelling stuff like ‘WILBUR QUIT WE ARE H U R T I N G HIM’ and ‘WILL STFU HES HAVING A BAD DAY’ so im glad we all want him to feel ok

but still, it cannot be healthy. when i first got into MCYT, i though tommy was fucking loud and annoying. and he is! he is. but that is a big part of why i like him so much. and everyone jokes about him being a child, because he is, but i choose to not say stuff like that in chat just because i want him to be happy. those jokes are fun, but i want him to be happy. and he is happier when not being called a child.

im not attacking you, do whatever the fuck you want. i dont know why i feel the need to protect him or whatever, if he read this he would probably think i was hella creepy. i just- listen, i just want him to be happy. i just want him to smile and laugh. i sound SO GODDAMN CREEPY but- as ive said- i just want him to be happy.

is this literally just what having a comfort streamer is? am i not crazy? does everyone experience this? and can we talk about tommy’s playlist it’s literally so sweet and bubbly compared to his personality and i love that. and the song he always plays at the start of stream and always like buzzes along to? that moment in time is my very favorite.

it is 5:44-

#simp #like im literally the biggest simp #mcyt #dream smp #wilbur soot #the_eret #tommyinnit

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huearmy · 5 years

Text

Not My Friend.

Summary: Yoongi is a ordinary house cat hybrid with an ok life and a huge crush in his ower’s friend. Even if Y/N always treated him lovelly and as an equal he is all insecurities and thoughts of rejection about being a hybrid, without imagining that the feeling can be reciprocal.

Pairing: cat!Yoongi x human!Reader

Genre: FLUFF, angst, slight smut.

Words: 3737.

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: not grafic description/mention of sex.

gif is not mine.

Yoongi was kind of pissed, slightly upset... Absolutely stressed. The lights and loud music of the club did'nt help, the drunk people ingnoring him, dancing around him as if he don't exist, neither. Is unusual for him feel so bad about being who he is, but today is a day that everything screams that he is less than everyone and it won't change. He brought the last swig of his drink to his lips, sad that he could'nt get another one alone, and for the sake of his pride he would'nd ask to Namjoon.

Is also unusual for Yoongi to argue with his friend and brother Namjoon, but today is a day that things got ugly. "You know that I love you hyung. For me we are equals, but is not like this for others. Even if my friends like you, they still seeing you as my pet.". It hurted. Hurts. Because is true, and Yoongi knows it.

And it hurts so... so bad... Because for a second he belived otherwise.

The discussion started when Yoongi thought he could share with his friend the feelings he have for you. You, the pretty human friend of Namjoon, the girl who is usualy at their house with no reason, the one that give the greatest pets ever and whose conversation is so good that he wouldn’t mind that you definitely lived with him. It took too long, but when Yoongi figured out his interest in you being a really romantic thing he was so happy he couldn’t keep to himself.

“What do you think, Namjoon? How should I tell her?”

It's obvious to Yoongi that the negative reaction of Namjoon was caring, he knows his friend well enough. It wasn’t his intention to freak out and smash Yoongi heart. He is trying to protect me. He told himself for the hundredth time, fighting against resentment. He discarted his plastic cup in defeat.

And there was you. The reason of his frustration. Oblivious at his issues, dancing with your friends. Namjoon's friends. Not his friends. His stomach droped.

Yoongi sighed. He can't just not stare at you. You are so beautiful to him, feeling yourself while dancing with your eyes closed, your pretty hair swinging around your delicate shouders, hips moving with the music naturaly - because you love dancing even if you are not goot at all. Another music started making you jump and sing. He almost can smell you now.

If he wasn't a scared cat... A hybrid cat... He would be dancing with you, talking in your ears, placing his hands on your waist and pulling you close, maybe kissing you... not only picturing it in his mind. But he is a pet, not a normal guy who you would like to flirt with.

He sighed again. He remembering clearly when he first meet you two years ago.

____________________________________

Namjoon was a freshman in college, excited with everything new, the new apartament, new city, new knowledge, new friends... Every day he would enter trough the door, drop himself on the couch and speak his day out. Yoongi would listen, commenting on a thing or other once in a while. Your name was present in most stories, or the stories were about you. "I was trying to makes myself clear to the philosophy teacher when this girl spoke. She conclued my trought and argued for herself shuting up the teacher.", or "Remember that girl? Her name is Y/N and we get coffee together today. She is amazing, dude.", and "Y/N made an asshole cry today, seriuosly, she is beautful. She have that 'I don't give a fuck' atitude, you would love her, hyung". And Namjoon was right, as always.

It was on a day that Yoongi was feeling clingy and dependent of Namjoon's full attention but he was supposed to do a project with you in your place though. So insted of cancel with you to spend the day watching Netflix with Yoongi, the younger boy opted for bringing the hybrid to your apartament too.

“Dont worry, hyung. Y/N told me to bring you. Actually she was anxious to know you, she likes cute things you know...”

“Shut up.”

The poor cat was hating every second of it till you opened the door. You treated him as a old friend, greeting him with a genuine smile e tight hug.

"Enter you both and make the home yours. I bought snacks... And! I used that drive you gave me, Joonie, and already started the dissertation... You can revise if want to. It won't take so long as we through, then we can get fat cuddling on my couch."

Yoongi get unsure with you straightforward behavior at the time. But your focus was to finish your and Namjoon's work so he could get Netflix and cuddles as much as he wanted. You made coffee with cream when he said he like it and listened his complains about Namjoon breaking everything.

“Seriously is his third classes this year and we are in May.” Yoongi grunted making you laugh.

"I noticed it! Joonie always talk about you repair skills, though."

"What else he talks about me?"

You laughed throwing your head back. You both were alone in the living room, sharing a blanket.

" A lot of things!” You said “That you are savage but actually a baby... That you are a good roommate to live with... And if I ever need a a good pianist, sincere advises, or help to hide a dead body, you are the man..."

"Oh..."

He didn’t expected the two of you to talk much about him.

"And what Joonie told you about me?" You rested your chin in your palm. He take some instants to answer, and as if his brain are of jelly, it went terrible.

"He said I would love you."

Yoongi expected for a rispid response or for you to change the subject, or at least you’d laugh, somethig like it, but no. He would learn later how unpredictable you can be sometimes.

"And do you?" You asked in real interest, looking into his eyes. His cheeks turned pink, and you by instinct brought a hand to his hair and ears. You cooed "Sorry, Yoongs."

____________________________________

Thats right. You are nice to him... Gentle and kind... Always respectfull... You would enter his space and make him comfortable, or respect his distance when his not in the mood. Make silly things just to see his gummy smile and then pet his ears for hours. If any of your friends make fun of him you defend him and then make fun of them lighting the air. The fact of him being a hybrid never seems to bother you or changed the way you treated him.

He had hopes.

But he was just a pet... And you would never look at him the way he looks at you. Mesmerized by the club lights passing over your dancing body, changing color and pattern, he let himself sink a little more in self pity.

As if you could feel his dark troughts you opened your eyes and looked right trough his. His ears rose, tail moving unconscious behind him. You walked straight to him, concerned, ignoring every intoxicated person dancing in your way.

"What's wrong Yoongs?" You raised your voice because of the loud music. "Don't tell me that's nothing."

Yoongi licked his lips nervously. "I not feeling like partying. But Namjoon is having fun so I can't ask to go home now."

You seemed tipsy, he could smell the alcohol on you, along with that sweet perfume that you love and he hates, and your own scent that he loves.

You looked around, maybe looking for Namjoon, face thoughtful, wrinkling your nose cutely. Your tiny hand found it's way to his larger one, and instinctively he hold it tight. Yoongi love holding hands, especially with you.

Suddenly you smiled excited to him, getting closer to his face. So close he could kiss you...

"Do you want another drink?" You asked right in his ear, without get away an inch from him.

"What?" Yoongi asked, not understanding the purpose of the question.

Your smile spread devilishly.

"Dance with me, Yoongs. If you continue wanting to leave I'll get you home."

And then you were pulling him towards the dancing floor.

___________________________________

"Are you sure you want to do it?" His lover's voice got serious, eyes searching for his reassurance.

"I am." He answered not thinking twice.

His lover's smile were so pure and beautiful and genuine and happy that filled him of happyness too.

____________________________________

Yoongi woke up happy. He woke up in a bed that wasn't his. He didn't have to look around to recognize the room he was, the bedsheets were impregnated with your fragrance. The room was dark, the only light coming from a fissure between the curtains. He closed his eyes again, holding tight in a pillow and breathing deep. He still felt sleepy but couldn't stop his mind to revive last night.

You both danced and laughed and drinked and kissed. You made out in the club, in the Uber's backseat, in your couch...

He was naked on your bed. Things didn't stop in just make out.

Yoongi can remember clearly the view of your naked body in front of him for the first time, the lines of your silhouette, how it felt under his hands, so smooth. The way you took of his collar, never breaking eye contact, and then kissed him sweetly before riding him. How your fingers intertwined with his while he thrusted into you till you shake. Beautiful beneath him, repeating his name in moans in his soft black ears, nails finding it's way in his scalp. Your soft skin against his when everything you both could do was heavy breathing, too tired to even pull out of you. Praising him you kissed his lips again and held him close to your bare chest, playing with his hair the way he likes so much.

He never slept so well. Never felt so well with someone.

And then he realized... Where was you? Fully awake now, he searched for you under the fluffy blankets, finding nothing but your empty side of the bed. He slightly panicked.

His jeans were on the ground, beside your discarded dress, but his shirt wasn't anywhere to be seen. Would be a problem he wandering through your apartment shirtless? A ding caught his attention for a forgot cellphone under your desk chair. It was just a notification of low battery, but there were also five calls and some massages from Namjoon:

[03:18 am]: hyung I'm sorry. rly.

[03:18 am]: where are you?

[03:21 am]: I'm worried. call me back.

And then the phone died.

"Shit." He needed a charger urgent. Knowing his friend maybe he was already searching for Yoongi in hospitals, morgues and shelters.

He went to the door and suddenly stopped, hand on knob, the thought of calling Namjoon back totally erased of his mind.

You wasn't in bed with him unlike as Yoongi imagined his first morning with you. He should had woke with you in his arms, you would say "good morning" to each other in a meaningful way, then he would give little kisses in your whole face, treading to your lips to a real kiss, you would get embarrassed and hide your red cheeks in his chest... He woke up alone instead.

What if you regretted everything? You could awakened with hangover and regretted the one night stand. Or feeling awkward for sleeping with him... Or disgusted. And if you woke up and realized that you had sex with a hybrid and regretted? It wouldn't be the first experience Yoongi of this kind. A disposable kink or drunken mistake... It would hurt...

No.

You are different. After the night you had together he could trust you.

Even if you don't feel the same as him... You wouldn't kick him out of your apartment... Or cut him off of your life...

Right?

"Stop being idiot, Yoongi." He told himself. "At least you have Namjoon to buy you beer in the worst case."

Music was playing in your kitchen, a amazing smell of eggs, bacon and something sweet come meet him in the corridor. Yoongi found you humming happily, holding the door of the fridge open while searching for something.

"I'm running out of milk..." You whispered to yourself. Wearing a purple silk robe and your fluffy slippers you closed the fridge door without taking anything from inside. You did not heard Yoongi enter the kitchen neither expected him to hug you from behind, pulling your back against his chest, arms crossed in your waist. So didn't he. But you were so cute, with messy hair and being just your always self, his own scent still on you. His concerns gone, Yoongi couldn't help it unless be straightforward and reach for your touch.

You let out a yelp of surprise, grabbing his forearms, slightly sticking your nails on it. He chuckled softly at your heart rate speed up.

"Jesus, Yoongs... How are you so quiet?". You said with a hand on heart, already relaxing in his embrace.

"Sorry." His deep morning voice took you by surprise once more, spreading a shiver all over your body, making your silly mind remember the last night events, just to you get flustered. You were so chill until right now, damn. When you woke up facing a sound asleep cat, thigtly holding you close to him, you needed to hold yourself on to not squirm in excitement. Your fear was to make the atmosphere awkward between you two after being friends for so long. So you chilled up and planned to do everything right.

"You was supposed to be sleeping..." You scolded him, turning in his arms to face him, with red cheeks and pouting. "I'd take breakfast in bed for you."

Shock stamped up Yoongi's features. "Really?"

Your face reddened, suddenly the white wall was more interesting. "Really... I must treat you well."

You always treat me well, Y/N. Yoongi through to himself, but by your tone and the slight smirk in your adorable lips, he could tell the difference. "Ok.". He gulped.

"Since you are here... Sit." You said, getting apart from him. "I'll feed my Yoongs.".

Instantly he felt the loss of your warmth and contact, but at the same time he melted with the sound of your voice calling him "my Yoongs". Once you turned your attention back to breakfast again, he choose the chair next to the window, where there was sunlight and he could see the busy avenue below - many cars going to somewhere, and people like tiny ants doing their own thing in their own lives, and the river running and shining below the bridge, on the other side was the park Yoongi like to go with you... You were singing along with the music now, serving the table before him, your cleavage exposed by the robe - apparently you were wearing nothing else... Maybe panties too... He scolded himself, biting his thumb's nail to focus on something else, but then he noticed hickeys in the curve of your breasts and in your neck.

"Fuck." He whispered.

But in your not too large kitchen, you listened it clearly.

"What was it?" You let ou a nervous giggle.

"Nothing." Yoongi rested his elbows in the table, hiding face in hands. He couldn't handle look at you with the thought of biting and marking you and make you his and his only in mind. Last night he did so much effort to not do it without your consent, and even more effort to not ask, afraid of rejection.

You brought him back from his dreaminess, pulling him against you, petting his ears and hair. His tense body relaxed instantly.

"Did you sleep well? Need aspirin for headache or something?" You quietly asked, resting your chin on top of his head.

"No. I'm ok." He snuggled his face in the tender skin, scenting you.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded. You hummed.

"Oh!" You frozed. "Namjoon is super worried about you...! Like... He called me twenty-four times and left thousands of voice mails and massages..."

He licked his lips.

"I need a charger to tell him I'm ok."

You pout.

"I already did it, silly. I told him you are here with me, safe and sound, and that I won't give you back till you get grumpy.". He smiled and you mirrored it. Then you got serious, tracing his jawline with your index finger. "He think you are upset with him... and you really was not ok yesterday. What happened?"

Yoongi gulped. He can be sincere with you.

"Namjoon can be an asshole sometimes. We argued, and I disappeared from the club, my phone is dead so..."

"It seems you are giving him the cold shoulder." You pointed.

"I'm not." He finally closed his arms around you. " I just forget about him when with you."

Your heart speeded up again, making him smile.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Due to his hesitancy, you added. "You don't need to."

"He told me to not expect too much from our... His friends. 'Cuz most of them only see me as a pet of him."

You remained silent for a moment, and then sighed.

"We really have some friends that are... Ignorants. And we can't do anything about it. But there's Hoseok and Jin who understand that hybrids aren't different of humans, and is obvious for me how much they like you."

"I know... I know." Yoongi pressed his eyes tightly. "We argued because... being an hybrid there's limits that I can't cross... At some point I'll be repelled, even by Hoseok, Jin..." He gulped again. "Even by you."

You pulled away, eyebrows joinig in irritation. Your words sounded offended.

"Seriously, Yoongi? After years knowing each other, didn't I make my positioning and support to hybrid clear? Or my affection for you? For heaven's sake...! We had sex. How can you doubt..."

"It wouldn't be the first time of being the fetish of someone that thinks I'm not a man at all." He interrupted.

You shuted up.

The angry expression faded away from your features, replaced by shock and then sadness. In your absence of words, Yoongi continued.

"I was afraid you would regret last night... I even through you would cut me off of your life, or at least kick me out of the apartment..." He let out a mockery laugh, not handling to look you in the eyes anymore. "You will be judged for sleeping with a hybrid. And I don't want it. Don't want you being treated differently by anyone...".

You approached again, taking his face in your tiny hands, lovely caressing his cheeks with your soft thumbs - just like last night, and he almost expected for you to kiss him. You were being soft and caring, but at same time, firmly make him look you straight in the eyes.

"I'm already judged, Yoongs. A lot of people think I'm fool and talk about me behind my back." The voice that reached his ears was so soft now. You opened a smile of pure pride. "And I don't give a damn.".

He couldn’t break eye contact, he couldn't dare to blink and lost a second of the sight of you.

"It don't matter for me race, gender, age, sexual orientation... If you have fluffy ears and tail or not. I'll love and respect everybody equally. At least I try, reading about and listening, and learning what I don’t know. You can always tell me what you are felling or where I’m failing..."

You have beautiful eyes and now they were sad again.

"I don't care about what those...bastards talk about hybrids... And I'm sorry for your past experiences..." You took a deep breath. Thinking in someone having the opportunity of be with Yoongi and choosing to break his heart make you sick. "For me you are an amazing man.".

"These words mean the world to me, Y/N." Yoongi said in his breath, feeling belonging as never before.

"You welcome, Yoongs."

___________________________________

A lazy saturday came along after this. You both spend all day cuddling in the couch, netflix on, or sharing earphones, and chit chating here and there. When the hunger came you ordered take out and decided who would get up and pay the delivery guy with rock paper and scissors. Yoongi lost it, but you got up anyways to pick plates and forks. And then you were tangled under the covers once more.

Hanging out like this is not unusual for you two. But it felt odd for Yoongi, different from before, like it was the first time. Sleeply observing you scrolling through your social media, Yoongi conclued that If having sex with you didn't ruined the friendship you have, expressing his feelings probably would.

But Yoongi wanted be in the same page as you.

You were watching a video on Instagram, not really focused on it, with your free hand playing with his hair, making him even more sleepy. You could feel his gaze on you, but besides the butterflys in your belly, it doesn't make you uncomfortable at all.

"Y/N..." He said in his low voice.

"Humm?" Blocking the cellphone's screen, you stared back at him. Your nose at centimeters from his.

He took your hand, circulating his thumb in the torso of it in a caring way. The gesture not passing unnoticed by you.

"I need you to know... Even if it isn't reciprocal... Last night had a whole meaning for me. I like like you, Y/N."

You stated at him in silence for a moment, making the whole world freeze. Before the conversation you both had in the kitchen that morning, Yoongi would be panicking, already regretting telling you such a thing. Now he just waited.

Like he wanted to, you smiled. With your beautiful lips, warm eyes, and all your body too.

"I know, sleepyhead."

You leaned to him, he came to you too, no hesitation. And that's it. He was kissing you again.

"We must talk about this reciprocity thing later." You whispered against his mouth.

Yoongi was kind of horny, slightly euphoric... Absolutely happy.

___________________________________

So, I really hope you liked it, pls interact, tell what you think... I’ll be posting more if I have a good feedback, probably a witch!au with Jin :) kiss kiss pls I dont want to be insecure about it kiss kiss.

#bts hybrid fic #bts fanfic #bts fanfction #bts fluff #bts blog #min yoongi #cat!yoongi #hybrid bts #hybrid yoongi #yoongi x reader #suga #bangtanshadowfamily

309 notes · View notes

rafe-cameron · 4 years

Text

THE ANALYSIS OF JOHN B ROUTLEDGE

In the fandom, what I've seen is a lot of what I feel is misinterpretation of John B's character, which is leading to a lot of unnecessary slander, and overall a negative vibe surrounding John B, and giving a negative wave of backlash to those who do like his character. I am all for positive emotions, and supporting and liking and disliking whatever characters you'd like! Though, I would like to put this out here just as a way of explaining what I've seen in his character. This is not a professional opinion by any means, but I do have a habit and (ringing my own bell) talent in analyzing different characters from an unbiased point of view.

DISCLAIMER: All of this is not fact, but a closely analyzed opinion. You are free to disagree and I genuinely do not care if you don't like John B! I wrote this because I wanted to and feel it could help. And this is written FOR JOHN B. Don't hit me with comments of “but JJ also” or “but Kie didn't MEAN to” or anything, because I am not writing about them. I’m writing this one for John B, about John B, and how someone would view life through his eyes and with everything that happened.

Now, onto the analysis.

Episode 1:

John B has a wave of issues being presented in not-so friendly forms. A 16 year old is living alone, considering his father has been missing for 9 months. Looking at it that way, he's had to finish his school year while juggling constant jobs to take care to himself, for food, gas, and paying bills, on top of school. Even if it's revealed he missed a lot of school that year, it's hard to blame him. His mom left him when he was still a baby, His uncle by definition also abandoned him, and his father is gone. He's threatened with foster care daily, which means he would lose everything that he has, his home, and his friends, which are the only thing keeping his head above water.

That alone is enough to give him intense abandonment issues. Both parental figures left, his guardian is as he described it “MIA”, so his ability to process how people see him and how he sees relationships is going to be, at best, rocky. He's going to have it in his head that everyone around him can leave at any time and he won't have any sort of say in it. Not to mention the depression and the anxiety that would bubble up from all of this. Depression makes you lash out, anxiety makes you pull away, two things he's shown to have trouble controlling.

He gets an idea for a way to try and make his life better, and get money to support himself, JJ being the one to hype that up despite Kie and Pope being against it.

Come the party later that night at the boneyard. A widespread party with lots of people there, lots of drinking, and comes the fight between Topper and JJ, which led to John B stepping in to protect JJ.

This is the first of many times where John B is almost murdered or killed. Hearing Topper yells “dont make me drown you like your old man”, then being drowned by him, while everyone stood and watched until JJ went off his shits and saved him.

This? Is all just the first episode. A peek into the curtain of how his family abandoned him, then he gets his shit beaten in, and he gets drowned by Topper. This would only worsen his already fragile mental state. At this point, he's ready to call it off, and leave it alone, but JJ gets desperate to help his friend and himself, and he goes along with it. This leads to, again, him getting shot at by the two guys hunting down the compass he stole off the boat. The second time John B is almost killed.

“With no parents, no money, and no one looking out for me, I've got no chance, unless I make it on my own.”

He sees no way out of the hole he's in anymore unless he fights tooth and nail to get out of it, no matter what it takes.

Episode 2:

In this episode, he's got it in his head now that since he found a compass on a wrecked boat, that his dad is trying to reach out to him. When you have abandonment issues as deep-running as John B, any possible chance that someone who left already is trying to come back? You run with it. You cling to it like it is all you have, and for him, it is. This compass is all that he has to go on, and he's desperate to try and figure it out because this is his fathers last way of communicating with him.

He goes to Ms. Lana's house, and has to both watch and listen to two men terrorize her, and he is told vaguely by Ms. Lana that it is horrible that he has the compass. He returns home to talk to his friends, and goes to his dads office for the first time in a long time, and has to relive the fact his fathers gone at that point.

Only for the two guys to come to John B's house. They break in and completely ransack the place, they steal a good chunk of John B's fathers stuff. They have to sneak out of the window and go to hide until the two men leave, but, he has to sit and watch these people break apart his home and steal from him.

After all of that, they go to the lighthouse, where he's thrown into another panic over this compass that no one is telling him about. He's frustrated, and he's scared. They leave the lighthouse and in a complete blind instinct of adrenaline, he kisses Kie, and gets rejected by her. Then, he gets arrested, questioned, and has to get bailed out by Kie's dad, who insults him. Now Kie won't talk to him, and he has to go home to his damaged house.

He also has to get fired from hi only stable job, so now he has no money and no job, a damaged home, and lost a friend for now.

Not only that, but he does get hunted down by those two men again, and is almost killed for thr 3rd time, and runs through an electric fence, where he's almost killed the 4th time. He gives up his fathers compass, and while ull of hurt and despair for everything, returns home to try and move past everything, but he catches another glimpse of possibility, and he clings to it all over again.

And, his urge and crave to hunt down his dad only grows as they find the Redfield tomb thingy and find the package left behind by Big John.

Episode 3:

It starts off with John B having to sit through the emotion that comes with hearing his fathers voice for the first time in 9 months. The pain and the confusion and how much he missed him rushing back, it's a feeling that is hard to describe, but it is draining, and it doesn't feel good.

He talks to everyone about how he just wants to have a normal life, and stop stressing so much about damn near everything.

He's decently up in this episode, but his actions only worsen. He encourages stealing, and puts himself into risky situations. This is the bud of the suicidal/reckless tendencies he starts to develop as he starts to lose regard for his own safety, because subconsciously, he sees no point in caring about what happens to himself and those around him. This is where he gets desperate for a reason to keep existing, because he lost every other one that he had.

Episode 4:

In this episode, they find the merchant. They track it down and find it's empty, but John B isn't ready to give up.

He gets met, unfortunately, with DCS, who force him to pack, and start to take him away. In an attempt to not leave behind anything? He jumps from a moving vehicle, and is now being hunted down for the first time.

He's taken in by Sarah.

DISCLAIMER: OPINION.

This is where we see Sarah see that things with John B aren't cookie cutter. She knows hes plotting something, and she wants to get away from her Kook life and do something different and exciting. So, she tags along for the ride. Her and John B go out and Sarah puts John B into a situation where he is being led on by her, despite her being in a relationship. But, her desperation to break from her box gets the best of her, and John B clings to that romance, because a romantic relationship has a more solid foundation than a friendship to him. They're less likely to leave him. So, he wants to run with it.

This is a huge part of why he kissed Kie. In his eyes, if he's dating them, maybe they wont leave, but he can't have that same situation with just a friend. He knows that, and this is where he starts to push away his friends. Bite before you can get bitten, it's depression + abandonment issues 101.

Episode 5:

This one is.. a mess. Its a mess.

We start right off the bat with John B realizing that he can't go home anymore. JJ and John B get into a pretty nasty argument. JJ is concerned for his friend, and he wants him to be safe and stop all of this, naturally, but to John B? He hears JJ trying to give him on him, to abandon him, and to leave all of this. He reacts to this by lashing out at him, yelling at him, and talking about how he just wants to stop because he got beat up. Which, John B is still under the assumption it was just the Kooks, when it was both the Kooks and his father – something John B didn't catch onto. After they yell at eachother, John B has JJ following him again. It's a safe zone once more in John B's mind.

Then, after the party is crashed and they all meet up, John B tries to explain that Sarah got wrapped up into all of this. He has Kie, Pope, and even if JJ knew already, he's not too happy about it either. So he's got everyone mad at him for this, and even if spirits are high in terms of his recklessly driven hunt, he sees everyone around him getting angrier, and angrier. And that? Is making him angry too.

He goes to meet Sarah at the hawks nest. And once again, he is almost killed. He's shoved off of it by none other than Topper (who has tried to murder him twice now), and plummets, and ends up in the hospital.

But things can start to turn around, because Ward took him in and he has a legal guardian now, right?

No.

Ward is plotting to keep John B under his nose to make sure he doesn't find anything else out.

Episode 6:

Again, not much happens here. Things seem to be going good and despite Wards want for John B laying low, he doesn't. He finds the gold.

Episode 7:

Here, we have another instance in which JJ's bad ideas get John B (and everyone) put into danger. After trying to pawn off the gold, they get stopped by Barry, who threatens to kill him and robs them. John B is quick to jump into the line of fire and get the gold back, desperate to keep it. He succeeds, but JJ barrels into Barrys house and robs him. JJ manhandles John B a good few times for trying to stop him.

And nearing the end of this, he's told by Ward that Ward knows about the gold, and wants John B to give it all up.

John B says no. He's gotten this far and can't lose it all to Ward. Not only that? But he finds out Ward had something to do with his father disappearing. That sort of news is heartbreaking. John B snaps just a little more, but so does Ward.

Episode 8:

John B and ward get into it. Ward is messy and doesn't hesitate to try and kill John B while they're on the boat. Again, for the 7th time, John B is almost killed, but escapes it just in time to keep going.

He goes to Lana, who explains that Ward was the one who killed his father. He finds out now that the man he trusted and the man that took him in both wanted to steal from him, and murdered his only parent? That's too much to carry for any one person.

Ward tells authorities John B tried to kill him, and he's being hunted down even more than he was before.

He sees now that again, all of his friends are both worried and angry with him. He's panicking at this point. He's stuck on the run and can't seem to catch a break, more so now that Ward figured out where the gold is, and sees him trying to leave with it.

Episode 9:

John B now is framed for the murder of Peterkin. He's almost killed by Rafe at the runway, and is now on the run again. He's facing major charges and none of them are of things he actually ever did.

John B has no choice but to run away from the OBX, from the US< and try and figure out what to do with himself from there.

He's almost killed by Rafe, again, because he set the bell tower ablaze.

But he manages to escape long enough so everyone can put together the pieces of his escape plan.

Episode 10:

He leaves. He leaves with Sarah on the boat, but of course, power has to go back on, and they lose their cover. They're both hunted down, chased out to sea, and is considered dead because of the storm. He survives again, but just by the skin of his teeth.

Looking back on everything that happened to him just in these episodes, on top of knowing he had to deal with his father being gone for months without a clue of how to take care of himself, plus the fact he's now headed for his gold without anything but one bar and the clothes on his back?

John B quite literally lost everything. He lost his family, his home, his friends, his job, everything that kept his head above water, yet, he's expected to be the strong one, and the leader of the group.

He has expectations that he cant meet, and he's getting the wrong kind of help for his issues. Depression, anxiety, trust issues, abandonment issues, and I wouldn't be surprised if various forms of PTSD stemmed from everything that's happened to him. In no way is John B a perfect person. He is a flawed and complex character, who made poor choices, and acted out in bad ways, but, the entire gang is guilty of doing some bad things too.

JJ's aggression and lack of impulse control.

Pope's passive aggression and constant cold shoulder to not getting what he wants.

Kie's hostility and lack of self restraint.

Topper's sexism and abusiveness.

Rafe's drug abuse and abusiveness.

Again, you are so more than welcome to dislike and like whatever characters you want! Though, I hope this point of view can help clear up some of the thing's ive seen on John B being irredeemable and a bad friend to everyone.

John B is a wonderfully written, intense, lovable character, and I wanted to share my thoughts on him, his trauma, and his life! If anyone wants to see more deep character analysis', don't be afraid to request them! I enjoy doing them!

- jv

#outer banks #obx #john b obx #john b #john b routledge #john booker routledge #jj maybank #pope heyward #kiara carrera #rafe cameron #topper thorton #sarah cameron

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nico-idc · 4 years

Text

random vent because i'm numb rn and feel like it

This is a vent post, ill probably talk about su!cide, self h*rm, eating disorders and depression. I’ll also cuss a lot, and things will not be censored. Also, this may seem insensitive to people experiencing any of this, sorry about that. Dont read this if youre triggered by that.

Also, this is my experience with mental health. Everyone deals with it differently.

So, If anyone doesnt know, I have depression and anxiety. And right now, I’m feeling numb as it’s often described by people with depression. But, numb isn’t a very good description. I can still feel. I’ll still smile if you tell me a joke, or if something funny is on a video. I’ll still cry if there’s something super sad. Emotion is just watered down. I feel it, but not as much as I should. Me and my boyfriend were talking, and i couldnt tell him I loved him. It’s not becuase I dont love him, but I just cant feel much of anything, so I dont want to tell him I loved him. Becuase If i did that, I felt as though I was lying. The funniest thing is, I randomly started crying. Still felt nothing, but hey, I had tears streaming down my face. Who fucking knows why.

I havent been doing to great for a while now, but this is the worst i’ve ever gotten. Ive never felt numb before. I mean, I’ve felt myself starting to go through the motions, but i’ve never gone completely numb before. And before this i’ve had a few mental breakdowns. Hell, I’ve sat in a corner twice in the past month or so doing nothing but sobbing and begging myself not to move so I dont grab something sharp and cut myself. (I did not relapse, don’t worry). and recently I completely broke down over simply eating a cereal bar, got through it, ate it. I’m good now.

Figures. That does seem to be my experience. Oh no, big bad issue one time, then magically I just talk myself out of my bullshit, and im fixed. Ha ha, yet I act like I have all these issues. I mean, I didnt even attempt to starve myself, just thought “oh, friends and family wont let me” and didnt. Had a breakdown about a year later, been fine since. Cut for a few months, went to therapy for a few months, stopped cutting. had a few breakdowns about a year or two later, then was fine. was suicidal for a while, went to therapy for a bit, was happy for months. Had breakdowns every now and then, fine now.

ha ha, first time I say alot of this is online. Figures. I’ve done that a lot too. My boyfriend has found out a bit about my depression through this site. Becuase I cant talk to my boyfriend about my shit, but hey random people on the internet! hear about my problems.

So on another note, I recently found a song that describes part of depression pretty well. It’s called “i’m not dead” by boyinaband. it’s linked below, I’ll copy paste the lyrics, and explain how I relate, and what the lyrics mean to me, becuase why not? (lyrics will be in bold)

undefined

youtube

I'm not dead

I'm not fixed, but I'm not giving up yet

Basically, this means that im still here, im still depressed, but I’m still trying to fight depression.

I'm sick of saying that I still don't have anything done

I hate telling friends I'm trying something just to give it up

I never commit to anything, I just say I’ll do something, then decide I dont want to.

I'm still unsure of my emotional state

I'm still incapable of focusing lately

I don't feel like creating

I'm tired of asking Google how to find motivation

I’ve been on break from writing for months now. tried to get back to it, lost concentration. I think this is self explanatory.

I don't think I've ever made

Something that's as good as I'm capable of

Ha, I dont put in enough effort and commitment to make something as good as possible.

I hate not having a reason to look my best

I only ever take care of myself with the intent to show the internet

I mean, I dont try to show the internet, but I only take care of myself when other people will see me.

If what made me successful was an imposed sense of stress then

I am so so glad that I hated myself

The only thing that makes me do things is extreme stress.

I didn't luck into this position

I struggle with decisions

I mean, im not in any high position, but I do struggle with decisions.

I wouldn't be my own friend

I'm too inconsistent

I’m inconsistent as hell. I’m in like 10 group chats, don't talk in any of them for months, then just show up like “hi, havent talked to you all in ages, but hi”.

Without immense pressure nothing ever gets finished

If these words make it to your ears it'll be a fucking miracle.

Yep. I went on whole rant about this on wattpad. Without pressure to do something, I don’t do it.

I'm fortunate to know more good people than most do

I wish I had more friends I could be physically close to

I dont personally have a lot of friends that dont live in my city, so the last line isnt an issue, but I do know a lot of good people”

I'm pretty good at like 20 different skill sets

At the expense of never being great at any one of them

I’m good at quite a few things. Drawing, math, even writing. But im not great at it. I’m average.

I wish this beat hit harder

I wish more syllables rhymed

I know 99 percent of people really don't mind

I dont personally relate to this, seeing as I dont make music.

I think collaborating forced me to finish things

'Cause I was terrified of wasting famous people's time

Oh yeah. Group projects would not get done if i wasnt scared of wasting my partner’s time.

I wish I could focus on what I define priority

I wish I was as grateful as I want to be

Dont really relate to these things

I wish I knew more people who were mentally stable

But if I did,

I wouldn't let them waste their time on me while I'm disabled

Oh yeah. Id love to have a friend who isnt depressed, but I wouldnt let them see that im fucked up becuase i dont wanna drag them down.

I feel alone

I know I'm not

I have a lot of friends, but I still fell alone in this world

I used to talk to lots of people.

Lately I've stopped

They didn't deserve it,

I've been a terrible friend.

But I couldn't bear to let myself become boring to them

I ignore group chats all the time. no reason. Probably shouldnt.

I don't let myself get my hopes up.

I love people who do.

Something good happens? what could go wrong? that is my thought precess.

I never know if what I say I feel is the truth

I have no damn Idea what I think, so its so hard to know what the truth in my head is.

I wish I didn't instinctively try to be less specific

So more people could relate, when they read along with the lyrics.

Not lyrics, but if i write/explain something, I immediately generalize things so its relateable.

I can be happy in the moment

I am not when I reflect

I smile watching youtube, but then I look back and think about how I wasted time.

I distract myself with gaming, waiting to get better

I hate it

Youtube will cure depression right? /s

I wanna do the most good, and prevent the most hurt

But I've gotta put on my own oxygen mask first

This is just an important phrase I try to remember when I’m down. for people who dont do well with metaphors, he’s saying that if you want to help people, you need to help yourself first.

I can't predict what I'll do.

I can never be sure

I am terrified of making promises any more

I can't face my work,

I feel sick from the word

I genuinely believe I'm capable of changing the world

Don’t relate much here, except for the more positive, upbeat tone the song takes on, and i feel that this part, the part above and everything below is dave fighting his depression.

I still think I can get better

I’m holding onto hope.

I still think I can create and get pleasure from it

I hope so, I want my art and writing to improve.

I'll keep aiming to make my emotion and my logic agree

The eternal stuggle. I always try to get the two to line up, it rarely works. I try to use logic more often though.

And become the best version of me

Always trying to improve myself.

I don't want to stop!

There’s alot this could mean. I dont want to stop creating. I dont want to stop fighting. I dont want to stop getting better. I dont want to stop living. I relate to all these things.

I’ll expand on this more later, it’s too late now for me to continue this

#cussing tw #swearing tw #tw suicide mention #tw self harm #tw eating disorder #vent post

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nad-zeta · 4 years

Note

Hey! I saw your MBTI for Sengoku so I was wondering if you could also do one for ikemen Vampire?

Hi love, thanks so much for the request! So I only did it for a few of the vampy boys! Let me know if you want me to do it for the rest hehe I find I don’t know these cuties as well as the ikesen boys (˶◕‿◕˶✿)! Side note this is all my opinion so if you disagree with my evaluation of their personalities theeeeeeen idk (◕__◕✿) Also for those who dont know their personality type or who want to see where i got my info here is tha link https://www.16personalities.com/

Anyways thanx for the request and i hope you enjoy!

Ikevamp MBTI feat Vincent, Comte, Arthur, Isaac and Napoleon

✿◕ ‿ ◕✿

Vincent- Infp, the mediator

“Mediator personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, Mediators have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Mediators’ friends and loved ones will come to admire and depend on them for their optimism. Their unshaken belief that all people are inherently good, perhaps simply misunderstood, lends itself to an incredibly resilient attitude in the face of hardship. Mediators combine their visionary nature with their open-mindedness to allow them to see things from unconventional perspectives. Being able to connect many far-flung dots into a single theme, it’s no wonder that many Mediators are celebrated, poets, painters and authors.”

I think this cute ray of sunshine is 100% INFP. This cinnamon roll is always looking on the bright side of things, he is the angel to Theo’s devil, and he brings joy and light to the lives of all those living in the mansion. Of course, Vincent believe people are inherently good, I mean he is friends with Shakespear for crying out loud, and he is able to look past Shakespears mischief causing ways and is able to see the best in him, if that ain’t Cinnabon behaviour I don’t know what is ✿◕ ‿ ◕✿

So, here are his ideal compatible matches:

Enfj, Entj and Entp

Leonardo- ISTP Virtuoso

"Virtuosos love to explore with their hands and their eyes, touching and examining the world around them with cool rationalism and spirited curiosity. People with this personality type are natural Makers, moving from project to project, building the useful and the superfluous for the fun of it, and learning from their environment as they go. Virtuosos enjoy lending a hand and sharing their experience, especially with the people they care about, Friendly but very private, calm but suddenly spontaneous, extremely curious but unable to stay focused on formal studies, Virtuoso personalities can be a challenge to predict, even by their friends and loved ones. Cheerful and good-natured, people with the Virtuoso personality type (especially Assertive ones) rarely get stressed out, preferring to go with the flow."

I legit think Leo is a Virtuoso, he is forever fixing thing for all the people in town and in the mansion. He loves helping people, leading a friendly hand to all who is in need of help. He is also incredibly private about his personal life as seen in his route where it took MC basically the whole route just to get to know this cute Italian boy. I.e. he only allowed her to ask him one question a day, which half the time he wouldn’t even freaken answer properly. This boy is definitely super chilled and go with the flow, taking naps on the library floor or spontaneously picking you up to take you on fun new adventures. To me, this Jack of all trades screams virtuoso (◕▿◕✿)

So, here are his ideal compatible matches:

ESTJ, ESFJ and ISTJ.

Comte- ENFJ Protagonist

"Protagonists are natural-born leaders, full of passion and charisma. They are oftentimes our politicians, our coaches and our teachers, reaching out and inspiring others to achieve and to do good in the world. With a natural confidence that begets influence, Protagonists take a great deal of pride and joy in guiding others to work together to improve themselves and their community. People are drawn to strong personalities, and Protagonists radiate authenticity, concern and altruism, unafraid to stand up and speak when they feel something needs to be said. They find it natural and easy to communicate with others, especially in person Protagonists are genuine, caring people who talk the talk and walk the walk, and nothing makes them happier than leading the charge, uniting and motivating their team with infectious enthusiasm. Charm and popularity are qualities Protagonists have in spades. They instinctively know how to capture an audience, and pick up on mood and motivation in ways that allow them to communicate with reason, emotion, passion, restraint – whatever the situation calls for. Talented imitators, Protagonists are able to shift their tone and manner to reflect the needs of the audience, while still maintaining their own voice."

So this boy I struggled with but eventually settled on Protagonist. This boy definitely is a charmer, I mean just look at his face. I definitely see him as the dad of the mansion, helping and guiding all his lil vampire children. Comte definitely has charm for daaays, which was hinted in the prologue where the fist convo mc had with this beautiful man was basically her falling victim to his gentlemanly charm. He genuinely cares for all the residents of him mansion and would bend over backwards to make sure they are all happy! (◕‿◕✿)

So, here are his ideal compatible matches:

INFP, ISFP and ENTJ

Isaac- INTJ Architect

"With a natural thirst for knowledge that shows itself early in life, other kids at school often call Architects “bookworms.” While their peers may intend to insult them, those with this personality type likely identify with the label. Throughout their lives, they’re proud of how much they know, and Architects enjoy sharing the knowledge they gain. They’re confident in the mastery of their chosen subjects. They are serious and prefer to design and carry out effective plans rather than waste their time with foolish distractions like gossip. Architects are confident in the subjects they take the time to understand, but, unfortunately, they are reluctant to bother with topics that involve social skills. White lies and small talk, even when useful, are hard for a personality type that needs truth and depth. Architects may even see many social practices as downright stupid. Ironically, it is often best for Architects to remain where they’re comfortable – out of the spotlight. They have natural confidence there. If they stay within their element and do what they do best, they are likely to draw people to them, professionally, socially, and even romantically. They are fine on their own, and reaching out is often optional."

Cute shy, hedgehog boy is definitely an architect in my eyes. He is in the library 24/7 learning new things and reading new books. He has definitely achieved mastery in his particular field of study, I mean this clever boy has discovered the theory of gravity for crying out loud. It’s clear he likes sharing his knowledge with others as he helps our best boi Napoleon with teaching the cute lil street kids and in the first few chapters of his route *spoiler alert* he teaches some snotnose students about the book he freaken wrote. Hehe I also think apple boy relates to the part about social interactions as he is just a cute precious shy boy that doesn’t have the best communication skills (˶◕‿◕˶✿)

So, here are his ideal compatible matches:

ENFP, ENTP and INTP

Arthur- ENTP Debater

"No one loves the process of mental sparring more than the Debater personality type, as it gives them a chance to exercise their effortlessly quick wit, broad accumulated knowledge base, and capacity for connecting disparate ideas to prove their points. Debaters are the ultimate devil’s advocate, thriving on the process of shredding arguments and beliefs and letting the ribbons drift in the wind for all to see People with the Debater personality type have a way with words and wit that others find intriguing. Their confidence, quick thought and ability to connect disparate ideas in novel ways create a style of communication that is charming, even entertaining, and informative at the same time."

This boy has the banter, I just had to make him a Debater as he, in my opinion, has wit for days. He is definitely a cleaver cookie that will trash anyone who dares challenge him to any game. TBH I think he could definitely give Mitsuhide a run for his money on the witty remarks front. I really do find his style of communicating charming, entertaining and informative. So I would definitely vote sherlock boy as devil’s advocate (◕ω◕✿)

So, here are his ideal compatible matches:

INFJ, INTJ and ENFP

❤🌼Hope ya enjoyed and I hope you have a good day! 🌻

#ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp #ikemen vampire comte #comte de saint germain #vincent van gogh #ikemen vampire vincent #ikevamp vincent #ikemen leonardo #leonardo da vinci #ikemen arthur conan doyle #ikemen arthur #ikevam arthur #headcanons #ikemen vampire headcanons #headcanon ikemen #headcanon #fanfic mbti #mbti personality types #ikevamp mbti

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sunwoovous · 4 years

Note

hello!! just thought I'd stop by and say thank u for making content for us!! your little creations help make my day go by a little better :) also I thought I should ask whats your favorite thing about each tbz members if you dont mind? I'm in the mood to adore these boys more! 💞🥰

ahhh thank you so much for this!! this was such a nice message to wake up to 🥺💕 I’m glad someone is enjoying what I make aklsdjk the boyz are definitely fun to make content for and deobi are all so sweet and funny! bUT AHHH TBZ LOVING HOURS LET’S GO!!

sangyeon: his eye smile! I’m so fond of his eye smile he’s already so attractive but as soon as he smiles I feel my heart melt, and it just shows off his naturally kindhearted spirit like when he smiles it emanates how much of a sweetheart he is asdfgjk and I know he says he’s not cute but!! he’s a liar, he’s super cute!!

jacob: his instinctively kindhearted and attentive nature. jacob is just... a sweetheart... who melts my own heart... and him being so nice and caring just comes so naturally to him? I love how just habitually he’s so attentive to all the members and their needs and feelings and he’s just such a good brother to everyone 🥺 and just in general he has such a genuinely nice personality like you look at him and you can feel it and I adore him he’s the biggest sweetheart 🥺

younghoon: his dorkiness kaljsdfkjk not so much his sense of humor itself but just his overall dorky demeanor that he has when he’s off camera I just... he’s a big lovable goofball who cracks bad jokes and tries so hard to be funny and then the faces he makes afterward when people don’t laugh aklsjdkf prOTECT HIM. but also on that note I love how confident he is with himself while simultaneously being shy about it like he’ll make a joke with such certainty and then cover his face awkwardly afterward. or he’ll give fan service with confidence and then afterward hide! his habit of hiding is so cute too he’s so soft and precious.

hyunjae: hIS LAUGHTER AKLSJDKFJ IT HEALS MY SOUL when he laughs and his nose scrunches up first and then his entire face scrunches up?!? and how he laughs with his whole entire chest and body like you’ll see him flopping over aND HOW LOUD AND SPIRITED IT IS I JUST. ADORE HIS LAUGHTER. the first time I heard him laugh when I was undecided bias wise I literally just kaljdkfjk fell in love and went “!!! this is my bias!!!” (when in fact it was a farce but y’know what I still adore him and his laugh)

juyeon: his dedication and passion... when I saw him crying after the shangri-la stage for such a minor mistake that I hadn’t even noticed until he started crying?? I just... akjsldfjk must protect he’s the sweetest most hardworking boy and I adore him and I hope he knows he works so hard and doesn’t need to push himself or always be perfect and that he’s allowed to make mistakes because he’s wonderful and talented and we can see that and all his efforts, even if a mistake is made, are valid jUST AKSDKLFJ GONNA START A PROTECT JUYEON SQUAD you can tell because of how sensitive he is that he loves what he does

kevin: mEME KING akljsdlkfjk I adore his sense of humor but it’s also very similar to my sense of humor like... he just says things without thinking and sometimes he’s like “yeah that was good!” and other times you can see him go “wtf did I just say??” at himself and I love it, it always makes me laugh and he always manages to put a smile on my face. but the best part of all of it is he never doubts himself he just completely vibes with himself and is so confident and I just have to simultaneously shake my head at him but also love him and protect him!! he’s the biggest dork and I just. AHHHH I love him for it!!

chanhee: his voice?! fun fact chanhee’s vocals are actually my favorite in tbz he has such a unique voice!! and his high notes are easily recognizable in songs! idk how to exactly explain the tenor he has when he speaks and sings but it’s just really pleasing to listen to and is such a nice voice and fits him so well.

changmin: his overall passion! for the stage, for being an idol, and for dancing. when I saw him smile real huge during the oneus/tbz collab stage... similar to jacob, I started to cry a little bit. you could tell in that moment where he was just smiling on stage how alight his eyes were and how much he was truly enjoying himself and what he was doing and as stressful as being an idol can be I could tell he was honestly, truly happy in that moment and that on top of knowing how much he loves dancing, I just adore his passion for his dreams and what he’s doing and I hope he never loses that fire he has.

haknyeon: his visuals and his vocals. haknyeon’s visuals are just... no joke. I was trying not to make this post about physical appearances if I could help it but haknyeon is just? stunningly handsome? he’s soft and approachable but also his features just have akljsdkfjk this masculinity to them that makes him very pretty and handsome at the same time and his eyes are so soft and sparkly and ahhhh?! but also I love his vocals. while chanhee has a distinct voice that I enjoy, haknyeon has just a very... nice voice. soothing I guess? his voice is deeper and when he sings, that lower tone he has? just adds so much depth and personality to songs and it’s very nice! and also! listening to him speak! he just has such a soothing and calm voice when he’s speaking without going crazy or getting excited and immediately I just want to listen to him forever (I often put his vlives on as background noise).

hyunjoon: (can I include hwall because I miss him gonna cry brb) akljsdfk his expressiveness! is what!! I love most!! he always had a resting scowl on his face but as soon as the boy smiled everything in the world just felt right and the way his face would literally just LIGHT UP as soon as his scowl turned to a smile or a laugh he was just tHE CUTEST 🥺

sunwoo: everything... literally just. everything. as much as I yell at him for everything, I yell at him because I adore everything about him. he’s so naturally handsome, for one, but also his personality is just... him as whole, I love him 🥺 I think the best way to encompass this is to say that I love his duality? the fact that he’s so raw and honest, but a huge joker and so savage to his elder members and his sarcastic deadpan sense of humor? that’s my type of humor!! he always makes me laugh and always puts a smile on my face. and the way he holds himself with confidence on stage... but then also I love how soft and precious and tender and loving he can be? and how he’s attentive to other members too, despite his age, and literally how he says things and I just aklsjfk he’s so young yet somehow so wise and even as someone older than him when he says something or I read something that he’s said and I’m having a bad day I just instantly think, “wow, how do you know so much for being so young,” while also wanting to believe his words because he’s so confident with himself. he’s just... very admirable... in all he does...

eric: sweetest baby boy... I just love how emotional he is overall? if that makes sense? like he’s not afraid to be in tune with his emotions and show them and I love him for that, in every aspect, whether it’s him being a goofball and being gullible and making terrible jokes or whether it’s him performing on stage and loving every minute of it and loving his members so much and expressing how much he adores his members. he’s just not afraid to give his 100% when it comes to his feelings and making them known and I not only love him for it but admire him for it.

#anon #answer #aNYWAY THIS CAME OUT SUPER LONG I'M SORRY AKJDSLFJ I CAN'T MAKE LOVE POSTS #I JUST RAMBLE FOREVER #brb crying over tbz hours have ensued i'm gonna think about all these things all day at work now :((#thank you for this sweet ask anon both what you said and giving tbz love!!

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achieveandhunt · 5 years

Text

live typing extra life 2019

part 2

warning: this was a mistake and i’m in the grapes

this starts right at Facilities vs AH. link to first post

let’s fuck some shit up babEY

oh what the fuck they’re playing a prerecorded video

last year was a fuckin doozy, nobody forget that

“legends of the under achiever” i didn’t know someone wrote my biography

why do i hear geoff screaming “FIVE FUCKIN FOUR” in my head, like in the legends of the hidden temple minecraft videos

jeremy looks. so dead inside on this fine november evening

ryan buzzing while they’re trying to explain the rules

my video quality went down so much that i thought i was watching someone playing roblox for a second

ryan “salty mother fucker” haywood has made a lovely appearance. he’s my favorite

michael and lindsay looking so domestic makes me so happy,, they’re my parents

someone donated under the name “ryan goes feral” uh??? yeah? you say that like it’s a bad thing??

oH FUCK MICHAEL GO DRIVE WIN PLEASE

jeremy HAS BROKEN OUT THE GLASSES SHIT’S SERIOUS

NO THEY’RE LOSING GOD DAMMIT

ʳʸᵃⁿ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵃᶜᵏᵍʳᵒᵘⁿᵈ, ᵠᵘᶦᵉᵗˡʸ: ʰᵉˡᵖ

JEREMY IT’S TIME TO TEST OUT THAT NONEXISTENT GAG REFLEX AND SWALLOW THE OPPONENT’S CONTROLLER

oh nvm they’re winning again lmao

OH FUCK thEYRE LOSING

oh nvm

OH FUCK

oh nvm they unplugged his contoller lol

OH FUCKING TH EY LOST MICHAEL JONES MY HEART IS BROKEN

the amount of people watching has gone up from 32k to 40k in the past fifteen minutes

michael “hurry up you dumb cunts” jones

“oh don’t worry about destroying our cabinet, it’s essentially matchsticks”

“how are you feeling john? are you ready for this?” “MM M M Mmm mM”

TEAM NICE DYNAMITE IS NEXT AND IM READY FOR PERMANENTLY RINGING EARS FROM ALL THE LEET DONATIONS

oH god here we go

“hopefully they haven’t been saving them all day” oh honey. you’ve got a big storm coming

if xavier slaps gavin i think gav might go up in a puff of smoke

i did the math, they went up 45k+ within five minutes of team nice dynamite showing up on stream

GAVIN AND MICHAEL ARE GOING TO DIE

THERE’S GONNA BE A MOONBALL SIZED HOLE IN GAVIN’S CHEST

ryan and lindsay both donating a grand during this segment... so good

the day gavin free successfully gets a tattoo is the day i drop dead

lindsay saying she didn’t want the TND tattoo on michael but she agreed because gav is michael’s boi :(((

i’m too sleep deprived for this i might cry

oh god michael’s punching the floor

i’m too sober for this

EIGHTY EIGHT LEET DONATIONS IN TWENTY MINUTES HOLY FUCJKIGN SHIT YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE THROWING MOONBALLS FOR FUCKIN SIX YEARS

on a sentimental note- i love how much collective love we have for gav and michael,, they deserve it all

milk boarded has some not-so-great connotations attached to it

gavin “the bullshit bitch” free

a mark nutt reference?? in my 2019 extra life????

this just in: sarah is going to obliterate gavin

oh. oh my god. that was the sound of a wet fish smacking a wall

why is jeremy the liquor goblin walking like a crab that has a bird attached to its back??? see: flapping arms

that beer and milk concoction... gag

“drink that milk yard”

“YOU GOT MY TOES MILKY”

no. nO MICHAEL NO YOUR INTESTINES NOO

michael “the milk’s in my brain” jones

“stop pouring it on people!” “iT’S HARD DICKHEAD”

lindsay is now. taking a milk shower

*caiti brings a small roll of paper towels* *gavin gently places a single paper towel on the massive puddle of milk*

no LINDSAY NO THINK OF THE CHILDREN

gavin: this has gotten way out of hand. she’s... she’s swimming in an inch of milk! everyone knows you should swim in at least two!!

the fajita seasoning will solve everythinG everyone calm down

fiona: yeah this is my first extra life. jack: and what were you expecting? fiona: this. exactly this.

ah yes. the bunny suits have arrived and michael is ready to tackle gavin

aaaand here comes the AH fanfic. it can only get worse from here so buckle up fuckos

“holy fuckeroni”

“re-reanimated trevor”

michael is so fucking smashed and god i wish that was me

“cum-ductor”

fiona “this is a white man” nova

“bone-ating” *leet donation* *leet donation*

“ready set blow” made me genuinely bust a lung laughing

aaaand michael’s licking the floor which is to be expected

jeremy “i’m gonna actually harm you” dooley

IF ONE MORE PERSON BRINGS UP RANCH IM GOING TO WALK TO AUSTIN AND PROJECTILE VOMIT ON THE OFF TOPIC SET

no JEREMY NO YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE I THOUGHT YOU WOULDN’T DO THIS GET OFF THE F L O O R

don’t get close ups on jeremy’s tongue. don’t do that to me. i don’t want nightmares

“fuck root” “let’s just fucking fuck”

1 2 3 CONSENT

michael has gone full gerkie

alfredo’s look when larry is reading the part about trevor choking him is how i feel about everything that’s happened in the past twenty minutes

almost 300k in less than an hour

fiona saying “i don’t want this” overlaying michael humping a trash can

“TAKE THE TACO CHAD”

aaaand michael’s in the trash can

nO why is there a triangle is this a POETRY READING ALL OF A SUDDEN

oh thank god it’s over

OH FUCK THERE’S A N EPILOGUE

aaand trevor’s dead again. poor treyco

DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS EVERYONE PUT A CUP IN YOUR PANTS

people singing along... what goes on

why am i downloading this fuckin song asap

jeremy turning his phone flashlight on and waving it like he’s at a concert god dammit i love these people so much

those are my BOYS

oh my gosh they’re still singing the song. why is my heart so happy from this i need to get slapped

“come on you’ve never been waterboarded before gavin?”

everyone standing in a circle shining their flashlights at gavin

someone surprise them and instead of a moonball just yeet a whole gallon of milk at them

actually, on second thought, no

OH god GavIN Is GOING to Die

gavin “i forgot to breathe” free

several milk explosions

gavin “my brain is cold” free

michael has milk dripping from his ears

i’m about to pass out i don’t know what’s happening

michael is in the grapes right now man

how many moonballs? oh, only 107. :)

i’m not writing this part- you guys have to watch the moonball segment yourself, if you didn’t watch it live!

team nice dynamite finishes up with over 300k!! holy shit, that’s so cool! this community is awesome

werewolf is up next!

xavier is such a gentleman can we keep him

alfredo: *chooses to kill miles* trevor in the audience: *silently freaking out*

xavier is about ruin another man on stream

miles has no self preservation instinct

barbara is now smelling fiona

this just in: i love alfredo and 100% would have done the same thing

trevor running up to film alfredo getting smacked. what an icon

alfredo SCREAMING oh my god i felt it in my soul

the high-five of the backs in solidarity of intense pain

miles choosing alfredo is so fucking good

and also, i feel so bad

his heart might shoot out of his asshole this time guys

oh NOOO HE’s so bruised :(((( fredo nooo :((

oh my god it’s gotten to the usual point in the stream where you start to question whether someone is going to die this time

rip blaine but at least i think he can take the hit

he can but ouch it still hurts me

barbara “i’m participating in the game” dunkleman

yo miles might win this game

the crowd when someone needs to shoot barb: TREVOR TREVOR TREVOR! trevor, with the strength of a thousand suns: N O

people are now chanting about shooting an unprotected trevor. the man already died once this stream god dammit

alfredo is about to throw hands for fiona

that’s a big F in the chat for miles, but his loss is well deserved

xavier’s hands could serve as a defibrillator

alfredo showed jeremy his chest and jeremy shied away as if he was looking at the sun

--- i’m taking another break to finish an assignment---

i’m barely alive and it’s ready set show time

oh god please no more shock collars

i’m so fucking tiiiiredd please take thge res t of this post wigth a grain of salt lbecasue i can hardly type at this ponitn

“do you want to control the shock collars” “will there be repercussions” “no” “fuck yeah i’ll do it then”

“smother the children. steal the baby” “DONT STEAL THE BABY TREVOR”

lunging forward “s c a r e t h e b a b y” “OKAY I’M PASSING THIS ONE”

“you can’t bake popcorn????” jeremy hits the floor

alec and matt clearly = dream team

oh thasnk god the shock collars are on their arms now i was stressed out for chris earlier

this stream does not promote recreational nyquil usage

i don’t even know how to explain the pure insanity of what ready set show has become

alec has become this whole segment

i would write more but i have no thoughts because my brain doesn’t work

larry “makes people fuck other people besides their wife” insert last name that my brain can’t come up with

anyways. marbles

oh. no marbles

i’ve blacked out idk what happened during backwardz compatible

i mean i was awake but does that really mean anything at this point

SPPOKU PSOOKY SPPOKKKY SPOOOKY !!! FUCL YEAH

cole is so good during this segment

oh so many 1337s right away

the real scariest thing during the segment: being genuine

oH my god the scream being pitched up. i have fucking dogs outside of my house now

i don’t fuck w/ ghosts no thank you

“aba-jail” wow if u guys weren’t gonna get haunted before you will now

okay i’m about to pass out i have to take a nap

oH fucking I SLEPT until thirty minutes before the en d fuck

conclusion: this community is incredible and raised an unimaginable amount of money for charity. the fact that rooster teeth does this every year is awesome, and honestly, it makes me feel hopeful in times when things aren’t so great. so yeah! for the kids & stuff

#extra life 2019 #rooster teeth #geoff ramsey #jack pattillo #ryan haywood #michael jones #jeremy dooley #gavin free #lindsay jones #trevor collins #matt bragg #fiona nova #alfredo diaz

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gg-astrology · 5 years

Note

so i dont know if you’re still doing detailed astrology analysis on kpop stars but i’ve started to develop the biggest crush on christian yu so i would like to know your thoughts on his chart because you’re the only astrology account i trust on this app. love u :)

Hey there!! 💓💗💞 I haven’t been doing it in a while huh but I just searched him up and he seems v interesting!! ;; 💓💗💞💓💗💞 Am sorry I literally know nothing about him BUT I just searched him up and he seems to be v popular on ig??? and he used to be in c-clown but that’s literally it?? so i’m coming in blind ;; 💓💗💞💓💗💞I’ll do my best!! 💓💗💞💓💗💞 Ps. I’m glad you!! like the account um!!! ;; 💓💗💞💓💗💞 I don’t go out on the tags so I have no idea what’s going on in the? astro social world on tumblr anymore but i’m sure they may be? great astro acc out there!! but thank u!! 💓💗💞💓💗💞

Christian Yu - Brief Look ⬇️

Sun/Moon opposition with Virgo/Pisces, talent triangles between his Scorpio Pluto/Capricorn Saturn (and outer planets)/Virgo Sun/Mercury - Gemini Mars AND Leo Venus that’s inconjunct to his Pisces Moon wow!! 💓💗💞💓💗💞

So I’ll walk you through, notice his Virgo Sun/Mercury and Gemini Mars? They’re squares but that also means he’s amazing at relaying his thoughts/personal opinions (esp. with combust mercury) even though it frustrates him sometimes. He probably does his best, or constantly try to strive for his best at self-expression even though it frustrates him to come back and think about it. At certain times, because it’s in opposition to his Pisces Moon (that seems to be a bucket handle/singleton) he may often process this emotionally. Virgo/Pisces can be quite hard on themselves, but with time (i’m sure he’s learnt) that self-management helps him work through his mental state better. More so than that, the re-occuring theme Virgo/Pisces (anyone else with this) has to look out for is the sudden anxiety of coming back online or feeling the need/obligation to do so for others. Dependability even when - like, when they were doing it, they think ‘hey this is nothing like what i was worried about lol it’s actually v relaxing/fun to do!’ - or just, y know meeting someone for the first time in a while can make them anxious because there’s expectations they set on themselves to do well. However, he DOES have a Leo Venus/Gemini Mars and Capricorn Saturn - so what this does is quell some of the anxiety a bit- like ‘ah fuck it! let’s just do it!’ tends to help a lot with cardinally getting shit done. I mentioned Leo Venus/Gemini Mars bc they’re squared- talking about action, the idea of just doing something and getting it done provided also by Capricorn Saturn - trusting in the security/stability of what was already established- tends to help with that mutable energy/anxiety once you’ve tuned in on how to use it! 💓💗💞

For those who may - also- suffer from mutable anxiety- literally just do something and keep an open-mind. Things will turn out for the better, tune into that flippable energy that allows you to be on your toes and handle a situation as it comes. There is less of a chance of a situation that you won’t know how to handle than there is one where you can work it out on the fly. AND it turning out better than over-thinking it! If you suffer from your mouth being loose and regretting it later - turn that emotional shame/embarrassment into a conscious goal - like a thought - ‘ok im NOT going to do that next time and be conscious of doing THIS instead, as it sets my foot on the right path and THEN i can run with it’ -- this can tend to help adopt a better habit/routine and ALSO make you utilize YOUR energy in an efficient way!!

Ok so, back to him. Virgo/Pisces sun-moon. Let’s get it. I don’t think his Leo Venus would? allow him to think about these things consciously. Being true to himself is key (more about that later) but underlying everything/decisions - there’s a core/stem of - Is he doing enough? Is it emotionally true? Is he being sincere/genuine or was it him striving for practicality/reality of the situation? Pisces Moon has a sensitive touch to self-expression, so these things ‘ringing true’ or somewhat ‘true’ gives him the emotional releases he needs. If it doesn’t - then occasionally it’ll drive the person up the wall with how ‘genuine’ (or calling themselves ‘disingenuous’) they’re being (or striving to be). They want to do their best, and with that Virgo in mind, he’s probably constantly trying to perform his best no matter if it’s in his daily life or something else.

Another cool thing to note is also Virgo/Leo in a person- they tend to be more ‘ah fuck it’ about certain things. A problem they can’t solve (on paper/text-book?) even with research? Take a break. It’ll come. There’s solutions to stuff, but with the practicality of Virgo and with the instinctive self-assessment of Leo - they can APPEAR to be something but is actually rather chill and laid-back about it. Certain things that people drive themselves up the wall over- they tend to learn life-lessons and in not over-stressing themselves, and trying to find the best/practical solution instead (think efficient not hard) - even if that Leo can be lazy but ALSO work hard when it FEELS like it wants to.

That ties into Leo Venus now, with Leo Venus squaring Gemini Mars (even though it’s out of sign) - he may strive to be a person who walks the walk, not just talk the talk. This is more of a personal goal/attention in detail to keep in mind- from like, an internal point of view. This Leo Venus can talk about desire to be true to the self, and if it’s squaring Gemini Mars- sometimes it may feel like what he’s saying doesn’t completely align- unless he’s obstinate enough to think he believes in what he says and roll with the punch/oblivious to it anyways. And thus working on perfecting that, remedying or contributing to saying what it is he can back up is important. Not just this- but with Capricorn Saturn trine to his Sun/Mercury - he has his head set in building a sincere, concrete and reliable ‘realness’ in his personality and public respect. Self-expression IS key, especially with Leo/Pisces in his personal placement and luminary. Most likely, it’s about the intuition and does it ‘feel’ right part of himself that can drive him forward. As that Pisces is also his bucket handle, and thus everything he does - all of his placements, as assessed/have to pass through that Pisces Moon in order for it to express itself openly.

Integrity is also a key thing for Leo Venus especially, considering Venus talks about relationships and other people. Seeing this in others is important, the idea of walking the walk and talking the talk. Certain people who only flaunts/talks about certain things, or are one-dimensional in their ideas/thinking can be frustrating to be around. Especially with someone who has Capricorn Saturn, Virgo Sun/Mercury, Scorpio Pluto aspected to those two and a Leo Venus. Show off your colors but care more about the things underneath, whats the idea underneath it and does it shine through in their self-expression? There’s genuinity that drives him forward, as well as intellectual property of something- it’s potential/what to do with it. These things are important, and it’s what ‘dazzles’ the Leo Venus to be attracted to these ideas/concept because it allows space for them to share these things with like-minded or people they can communicate with on a ‘real’ level. But these are - y know- people, so it’s hard to find and also very circumstantial!!!

Anyways. More about him. Capricorn Saturn. Being treated and trusted as someone who is stable/credited as genuine or real to the best of his ability/what he perceive is lacking from others/the world is important. And often with Virgo Sun/Mercury - relaying it down into words/written can often help with that. It’s also a part of a talent triangle he has. It aspects his Capricorn Uranus/Neptune as well - but I’ll talk about Saturn since it’s? more of an impact/important.

Capricorn Saturn/Virgo Sun-Mercury we talk about realness right? Reputable, doesn’t matter if it’s a slow start as long as it’s genuine and built by their own genuinity and sincerity. Scorpio Pluto adds to this with it’s sextile position to both of these placements - sometimes it’s about seeing/analyzing and observing what IS lacking from the ‘truth’ of the world and making sure the Capricorn/Virgo adds influence to that. The fire venus certainly adds to it’s flame- wanting to show it’s genuine desire to be ‘it self’ (and is itself, but more importantly to be accepted as itself) - whilst Gemini Mars is the outlet- keeps it on the toes, on his feet. Working on it. Say what’s need to be said, sometimes- unexpectedly or without realizing the consequences. BUT it’s sextile to Jupiter in Leo - thus, it probably often works out. When it’s said with the subtext of teaching someone how to be truer to themselves or self-expression.

There’s a strive/desire to make changes happen coming from that talent triangle, Scorpio Pluto as the apex working with his Virgo Sun/Mercury’s natural talent and focus on those desires. If you can imagine- if Scorpio Pluto focuses and zooms into perspectives/pov at hand, analyzes and collects what needs to be done with it - then this sextile to the Virgo Sun/Mercury helps form a clearly analytically strong- and often opinionated/constructive thought/expression in order for it to be expressed out into the world. They’re often intelligent, but also tends to not - notice or realize this about themselves? Things closer to the Sun are often blinded by it’s light. The Ego can often make things personal without one realizing it’s tied to it. Changes happens, whether it’s in his expression or something else. Because it affects other people’s lives as well, perhaps those in need (Capricorn/Leo honestly)

But.. yeah! 💓💗💞 That’s all I have for now.. here’s the chart I pulled up to use below, no birthtime ;; but yes! 💓💗💞 Sorry I don’t -- know him well so I can’t speak much specifically on what? he does or something. But I hope this is ok!! 💓💗💞 Thanks for asking! 💓💗💞

#christian yu #idol asks #astrology asks #anon #asks

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jewpacabruhs · 5 years

Text

hi guys! so this post is gonna be a rambly mess but fuck it, here ya go. if u dont wanna read all of it, u dont have to; skip down to underneath the tl;dr in bold text for the important bits :)

(there’s a brief & non-graphic mention of a triggering topic in the next paragraph. please be sure to skip this next paragraph if the thought of suicide is going to upset you.)

alright. so i didn't share this originally, but i spent some time in a psychiatric unit this month. suicidality related. 1000% unrelated from anything online, i've just struggled with depression for a very long time & shit happens. i didn't intend to share that at all & i certainly don't want pity; i'm telling u guys bc my time in the unit was extremely eye-opening, and i have some insight to share. since i've gotten out, with the help of my newest anti-depressant (fourth time’s a charm lol), i'm seeing the world in a better light & i finally have the energy to and the interest in exploring what it has to offer, which frankly i've never had before.

with that has come the realization that i’ve come to do something very unhealthy, and i want to break out of it. and that’s how much i’ve come to rely on my fandom life. i don’t want to get too candid publicly, but mental illness took a lot from me, and i lost most of my life, my future, and my options in the last few years. next year will involve a lot of working on rebuilding things. but in the time that i let things fall to pieces around me & i absolutely couldn’t get out of bed, i had a phone and i had a laptop. so when i couldn’t get up and physically face the world, i built up a new world online.

and i don’t think that’s a completely uncommon experience. most people are able to better manage things, and evenly juggle real life with an internet life (like i did back in middle school), because most people can’t abandon their real lives entirely like i managed to; but i do think a lot of people nowadays rely on their fandom life and their fandom friends when their irl situation isn’t ideal. and that’s an excellent coping mechanism in theory, but i think it’s debilitating in the long run.

forgive me for sounding like an old person, but i’m a heavy nostalgist and a bit of an anarcho-primitivist in that i resent modern technology's influence on society - but that hasn't stopped me from letting it be a big part of my life out of accessibility. the internet kept me occupied during my low points, and i became dependent, but i've realized i don't wanna live like that anymore. i’m vaguely grateful that it usually kept me busy enough that i wasn’t thinking the bad thoughts as frequently, but more than anything, i’m resentful that my grasp on reality got lost somewhere along the way, and i let time get away from me, too. because, again, an internet life should be a fun hobby, but when it’s a lifestyle and it becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with our real lives, bc our real lives aren’t as rewarding or as exciting, then it’s unhealthy.

everything’s at our fingertips these days, but i deeply believe human interaction, fun, and fulfillment shouldn't be spoon-fed to us through a screen. it's easy access, sure, but at the end of the day, is it any way to live? compared with how much world there is to see, i’m no longer satisfied with the thought of sitting behind a screen for another five years. i used to be, when i had no hope and no drive, but not anymore. i’m not gonna let myself settle for staying busy with the thing that takes the least amount of work & movement. not only because i’m a whole ass adult who needs to start sorting my shit out for the long run, but also because i deserve better.

and it’s fucking hard! especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. i dropped out of school three fucking times due to crippling social anxiety and utter lack of ambition and energy. i lost all my friends through that (making friends post-school is hard af); the thought of having to go out and remake friends makes me wanna fucking cry. i have a hard enough time making friends online, i’ve even come to struggle with correspondence thru text & email. phone calls? outta the question. but that’s therapy shit, and i know i’ll get there. i just have to stop putting life off by staying in a comfort zone.

and it’s interesting; depression and anxiety really took everything from me, and while i was dwelling in my own misery, my adhd worsened and decided to make my entire brain revolve around my fixations, so i didn’t have to deal with my own life. can’t think about how much you wanna die and how much you can’t function in society if you’re busy thinking about a ship you like or a character you find interesting. so i latched onto the safety of that. aggressively. problem with that is that once you let your “happiness” (as much of it as you can feel in the midst of your depressive episode, anyway) revolve around an interest, that’s all you have. so you become dependent and reliant, and that’s never good, especially if you’re someone like me who feels pathetic & ridiculous when you realize it’s all you can bring yourself to care about.

and i think that’s what i realized in the psych ward (where there’s legitimately nothing to do; i did soooo much more thinking than usual, and i already think too much haha); mental illness will try to fuck up your lifestyle, so you have to eradicate the things that’ll let that happen in the first place. for example, like i said, my adhd tries to counteract my depression by making me hyperfixate and/or hyperfocus on something else to protect me from bad personal thoughts, and that’s good in theory (doing something you enjoy when you feel bad, to distract urself, is the number one most basic coping skill you learn), but i can’t do it in moderation, i let it run my life, and that’s made me worse in the long run. so i have to force myself out of that completely and not let myself fixate on things that make me happy in the short term, but don’t ultimately further me as a person. having fixations helped me through some awful times, but now i need to force myself to grow up, you know?

and while tumblr and other social media is an excellent way to indulge those fixations, it’s an aggressive enabler, in more ways than one. what i mean by that... okay, so while i’m the type of person who self-destructs while unhealthy, i do occasionally lash out. and i know some people completely explode rather than implode when they’re not doing well. and that’s how you get discourse, i think. because when mental illness makes us care much more about our interests than we ought to, and someone has a differing opinion about that interest, the instinct is of course to attack, if you’re that kind of person. i don’t think i am, but depression and boredom go hand in hand, and i might be inclined to care more about discourse than i would if i were healthy, purely because it’s entertaining and something to do.

that’s a long winded way of saying, while i stand wholeheartedly by my past positions, i do regret starting shit in the first place. i’m not the kind of person who genuinely cares about much and i have little to no sense of morality (im a chaotic neutral bastard), so the fact i was bored enough to start shit really goes against my character and says a lot about how bad i’ve been. so i apologize for all that. but, again, i think that's just what happens when something is truly your everything. and i think the chronic negativity of modern fandom is a result of how damn seriously we all take it, because we care so much and we’re so dependent. fandom’s supposed to be fun, but it’s just too damn stressful this way.

idk my point in sharing all this, but i do think it'd be cool if this kinda got yall thinking. even if you don't engage in discourse, if fandom is just one of your only consistent sources of happiness, that's not healthy either. we all gotta break out & exist more & louder & more positively. and unfortunately i think tumblr fandom (and maybe all modern fandom) is no longer a place that encourages positivity and health.

but for all my criticism, i do just wanna say how eternally grateful i am that i was fortunate enough to meet the people i call my best friends through tumblr. they're my family, truly, and all the bullshit in this fandom has been worth it simply because it brought them to me. i love them to death and i always will, even if interests change, even if we grow apart, even if we quit speaking entirely in the next few years, i love them with my whole heart in a way that transcends a simple fandom friendship and i'm so glad we bonded over sp in the first place. that’ll never change.

i will also always love south park itself. now that the cat's outta the bag about my hospital visit, i can brag about my most pathetic and obsessive accomplishment; the fact that i've never let circumstance stop me from watching a new south park as it airs, and i've now watched sp on 1) an airplane, and 2) in a psych ward. i win for most dedicated fan tbfh. dsjkf & i'll keep that tradition, and i'll still watch this stupid show til it ends! it'll always hold a special place in my heart, & kyman's still my most meaningful & long-term ship. i'll never stop loving it.

tl;dr

so, to recap; for 2020 i'm making myself step back from fandom (not just sp fandom, but fandom in general) and quit letting my world revolve around my fixations so i can enjoy the outside world a little more, mental illness be damned, and the first step is gonna be quitting tumblr. this blog won't be deleted and i may occasionally post (maybe when next season airs) but you're absolutely free to unfollow bc this'll be a mostly inactive blog. i’m also unfollowing everyone, so mutuals, please don’t take that personally.

i will, however, try to write more prolifically, bc fic writing is something i'm able to do in moderation & enjoy, and i hope to get back into it. so if you'd like, you can keep an eye out for any upcoming fanfic i may post - my ao3 is leere. i also have snapchat, instagram, & twitter my mutuals can ask for asap (bc ill be logging out for good by the afternoon of the 31st, which is tomorrow) - though i'm not very active on any of them. still, if you wanna have access to me, i’ll be there.

i want some connection to the fandom still, albeit without letting my life revolve around it, so i'll be starting a new open-to-the-public kyman discord server! the post with the invite for that will go up soon. nvm im too anxious

thank you for reading, thank you for the good times (thnks fr th mmrs), and i hope everyone has a good 2020!

#txt #mine

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