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#i got into fights for other ppls sakes without being asked and they hated it and i finally learned to stop
pinkseas · 2 years
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girl help i am having Thoughts
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monsterritory · 1 year
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What are some of your feelings about awamdream? Any writing about it or drabbles? The ppl need food
Ask and I shall feed you. Also you are so in luck I was literally just thinking about them.
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Every Dream ship has a very specific dynamic in my head, and I think AwesamDream is the most versatile of them. Because depending on your mood, you could either have Sam hating Dream so much that he loves him, or loving him so much that he hates him. I see him as generally obsessed with Dream. It was probably just an innocent, platonic lil crush before the prison. 
But Pandora's Vault introduced Sam to the concept of Dream beaten up and crying under him, and something inside of him switched when he felt like he was in control of somebody else. Ironically this is what Dream feels towards Tommy, which Sam despises him for. How dare Dream obsess over another man? Only Sam is allowed to do that. When Dream stalks and daydreams about hurting Tommy - it's wrong and obsessive, but when Sam does it to Dream - he's not doing anything wrong because he is a good guy and therefore incapable of being wrong. 
More under the cut.
Sidenote. The Drunz dynamic in my head is unwavering trust and loyalty. They can trust each other like nobody else. They have killed and revived each other for science, and for kinks. They feel confident putting their lives into each other's claws and being at each other's mercy. But at the same time they have a very healthy amount of life outside of each other, making them a perfect match, spare for the fact that they don't live together. 
But let’s say for the sake of this AU I’m crafting here that they do. 
Dream moves in with Punz after he escapes. Not into Punz’s house - into a new base far away from the Mainland. Dream is very traumatized, and Punz wants nothing more than to help him. They don’t even have to try hard - they just treat Dream with human decency again, and it slowly starts to remind Dream that he’s a person with a right to be loved. 
(Another sidenote. My Dream is an impala hybrid, Punz is a coyote hybrid, and Sam is a creeper/mantis hybrid). 
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It takes a few months and Dream realizes that he’s doing so much better than he did before. That is until he comes downstairs to find Punz arguing with Sam. God knows how he tracked them down, but the matter of fact is he is here, and Punz is yelling at him to leave before they kill him. 
Dream stays hidden by the doorway, listening to what they’re saying. 
“You got some balls showing up here without any armour. You know I could just take your last life, right here, right now?” 
“I know, I know. I'm not here to fight or harm anyone. Punz, I just need to see Dream. I need him back.” 
“Sure, let me go get him.” Punz jokes, sarcastically, “Do you really think he’s gonna go back to the prison just because you’ll ask him to?” 
“This isn’t about the prison!” Desperation is apparent in Sam’s voice. “It’s about me. I realized… I need him.” 
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Punz continues telling Sam to leave, but then Dream interrupts the conversation, saying that he’s actually willing to give Sam a chance. It’s just that… 
“I’m not the same guy that escaped that cell.” Dream says to Sam. “I learned what I’m worth now. If you want to be with me - it’s Punz you’ll be competing with for a right to even be around me. And Sam, I promise to you, there will be many hoops to jump through, and there will be rules and expectations you haven’t even dreamt of.” 
Sam nods his head enthusiastically. He’ll do anything. He thinks he’ll die if he doesn’t get to touch Dream again. 
His desire to hurt Dream has grown into a desire to protect him over the course of the months that they spent apart. To hold him in his arms, and maybe it’s the Warden side of him that has merged in a tango with the side of him that’s obsessed with Dream. He wants to be the right kind of Warden this time. 
During the same scene I imagine Sam tries to touch Dream - not with any malicious intent. He just misses him so much. Maybe Dream walks past him, but trips over something on the floor, and Sam catches him before he falls, gripping his hand by the wrist. Dream ends up pushing him off, startled, then suddenly yells for him to leave, now, right now, immediately. Punz stands between them, emphasizing how important it is that Sam leaves now. 
Sam doesn’t get it. Until he hears ragged breathing come from Dream. He’s having a panic attack, from something as small as having Sam grip his hand so that he doesn’t fall over. 
He may know better now, but some traumatic events are still too freshly engraved in his brain. 
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Sam can’t help but feel hurt. He’s finally seeing just how deeply he fucked up the man he just realized he loves with all of his soul. 
His path to earning Dream’s trust again would take at least a 300k hurt/comfort slowburn. But this is all you’re getting from me tonight.
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papers4me · 3 years
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Fruits Basket, Se03. ep 6.(Part 1)
The main female protagonist who, has been the “mother /psychiatrist/ fixer/curse-breaker” for 57 eps & 2 seasons, has finally had her own “I’m a real person with my own issues” ep !!!! YESS! So happy!!! also, so underwhelmed. Tohru has been painted to be this utterly selfless & altruistic character for long, that when she’s finally a balanced character it’s presented in half an episode? Don’t get me wrong, I like the ep, but there’s also the same feeling of bullet train that I felt in momiji’s ep! ugh!! I hated that feeling! Go away~ oh well.. I’ll quickly state what I didn’t like, before jumping into what I liked, in order to end with a happier note~
What I didn’t like:
Tohru’s monologue after leaving shigure & Isuzu felt more like a background exposition more than a true character’s thoughts. The reason is that It is quickly narrated with quick flashbacks from the past with intentional pieces missing from the flashback. Pieces like” how did Kyoko hurt tohru? She said to kyo, in se02, ep “ I feel like I’ve only caused her sadness” &  tohru’s flashbacks in se02 of her mother leaving/ closing a door. All these things not included in tohru’s 1st ever personal monologue made it seem like quick fill in for the audience more than tohru’s main struggle. Compare it to Yuki’s 3 ep monologue in se02, filled with all his own background info, hence, we as audience sit back & just feel. With tohru a little brain work is needed of putting things together in the puzzle is needed because NOTHING abt her trauma has ever been explained to us prior to her monologue . Also, compare this kyo. A character who ONLY have 2 eps dedicated to him in 57 eps, yet even without monologues & with hidden secrets for climax purposes, his emotions are clear cuz his background was explained early in se01, ep24 & se02, ep9. Compared to them both, her monologue felt a bit lacking.
What’s up with the following scene? Her crying & kyo comforting her mid-street. He saw her crying, asked what’s wrong & she couldn’t say & he gave her a comforting advice. All good. Kyo always give the most needed advice for tohru to be herself & feel comforted. Se01, “complain more, be selfish” Se02, somen table scene & asking her abt her future plans & the hiro incident. Kyo has tried to guess whats wrong first. Here he saw her cry in the middle of the street & just gave her an advice? couldn’t he at least guess wrongly if it is her granpa? school? anything? This scene is AMAZING but it feels off a little.
Kyo’s “ now I remember” EXCUSE ME?????? se01, ep14, valentine ep, he got a nightmare, then when shigure talked to him, we saw a quick flashback that we didn’t now what it is but now it IS kyoko. se02, the entirety of ep9 & the “ I won’t forgive you” & the flashback of young him with kyoko talking abt tohru. se02, ep 22 his fight with yuki & the clear face of kyoko telling him abt something regarding the hat. His entire shutdown of tohru IS abt kyoko NOT abt him being a monster cuz tohru accepted monster kyo in se01 ep 24! so.. REMEMBER WHAT????? the accident?? I feel like being hit with a rock. I mean, it makes sense that kyo will get PTSD after seeing the hat, cuz he remembers the bloody accident vividly. But it is the dialogue that IS weird. “ I remember” ?? it makes no sense? unless it is another hidden secret & will be revealed later. If so, then forget this point.
Kagura (more on her below). Now, let’s talk abt what I liked!
-Grief (the most difficult theme to express in literature): Excellent writing!
Grief is one of the most diverse human emotions. ppl who grief a loved one either erase everything abt them in order to cope with the pain of loss & live on, or drastically engrave everything, not want any memory to slip away, or hold the deceased on a pedestal, or hate them irrationally in order to forget abt them, some deny that the loved one is gone, others talk to them daily, some act & live normally for years & suddenly it hits them that this loved person is truly gone & they breakdown. Others, direct their disbelief of losing a precious one into the envy that other bad ppl are still living, why my precious one is dead?. Thats why, it is a difficulty emotion to understand by others. Ppl watching you will always think that comforting you is enough & that the longer you take, the more impatient they are with you. Tell me, watching tohru this ep, didn’t you feel that:
Come on. tohru, you can love your mom & kyo! who says only ONE person can be your precious?
Umm, why she cries for her mom NOW? 2 years after her death? Is she over it already?
Tohru~~ your mom aint going no where cuz you loved a guy? she’s in your heart, girl. Ugh!
Compared to yuki who was abused by his parents & kyo whose mom commit suicide in front of him, tohru’s trauma is meh~
Feeling this way abt tohru is exactly how many feel abt ppl struggling with grief. You are NOT a bad person if you felt this way. It means that thankfully you weren’t struck by grief to tohru’s extent or that your grief went about differently than tohru. Grief is a crippling feeling. It is valid, strong, overwhelming, paralyzing & above all very unique to the person themselves. Tohru feeling that her mom is slipping away from her memory is so realistic & utterly heartbreaking. Grief hurts & moving on from grief hurts more!!!! The more you go on & live your life, the more you feel like you betray your loved one.
Tohru’s entire existence is for her mother & so her mother LIVES inside her:
Finishing high school cuz it’s her mother’s request.
Getting a job to sustain herself cuz she has no one to support her financially.
Giving her mom’s wisdom & teachings abt life to others.
imitating her dad’s speaking style to prevent her mom from “leaving”.
Being the perfect girl in order to portray that her mom, who is a gangster & is hinted by the ugly relatives to be unfaithful to her husband due to tohru not taking after her dad, actually raised a respectful girl!
Talking to a dead cold lifeless picture as if it is a living human being & going into panic attacks when she looses such pictures.
Suppressing all her true “ ugly, negative” emotions & only giving the fake smiles & positive attitude.
She fears that ppl will leave her if she isn’t “comforting, happy”, hence, the whole facade of “ i’m okay, I’m okay”.
Immersing her self in ppl’s issues so she won’t face her own feelings of utter loneliness, fear of the future, & being left behind when everybody moves on with their lives.
Thinking that having selfish desires contradicts the “ hopeful, kind” girl images, hence, the fear to actually wants sth for herself. Everything HAS TO BE for the sake of the others.
Tohru is deeply traumatized & her complex, unhealthy but extremely realistic attachment to her mom must be broken. Tohru must learn to LET GO.
-Kagura’s character’s assassination. aka (violence heals y’all!)
The show wanted to express the emotion that kagura is still in love with kyo, but is learning to let go & accepting kyo/tohru love. I love that. Her speech with kazuma abt not being able to face tohru cuz her face will show her emotions is so relatable & it hit ME personally. Loved that. Then, she learns that tohru truly loves kyo & should confess to him not talk to Isuzu & I get that, it make sense that she lashes on thru & teach her the value of being open abt your feelings & dont loose him. all cool & understandable. BUT:
How dare you slap tohru like that? you don’t know what she’s going through? tohru is wearing funeral clothes for God’s sake! she just visited her dead mom, you insensitive woman! How dare you assume that all tohru is struggling with is love love, romance romance yay~ confess, kiss, be happy?
Tohru & kyo’s issues are deeper than typical, normal, shallow shojo love. It is related to child trauma & abuse. To their own individual identity & self-image! Their romantic love is meant to guide them towards better choices for the future, not magically heal everything. Their mutual love is NOT the answer to their issues.
How dare you slap someone to make them go back to their senses? this is such an anime move! ugh!~ it cheapens the emotional weight of character’s emotions.
“ I’m not apologizing to tohru. We communicate thro fists” excuse me?  you arent even communicating with kyo thro fists! he sees you & run! the only time he thanked you for, was when you didn’t “ communicate thro fists” & played with him as a child! Not only make her hit tohru but not apologize??
No one told her off? are you foreal?? Isuzu pouting lips is no match for Isuzu powerful emotions when she’s embarrassed, & kazuma! where you at? Happy at the “ open confrontation”? Why do you kill kagura’s character like that?
Side Notes:
I hate how this went by in half an ep like they did with machi!! tohru is THE main character for God’s sake! But it looks like the show is not so fond of the true tohru who wants stuff & screams & talks to herself, alas she isn’t the angelic, innocent girl that is saturating the heck out of all shojo amines. Oh well~ perhaps tohru’s issues will be visited again in the finale?
Kyo gets PTSD reaction in front of tohru. great. Now what’s next? I won’t ever forgive the anime if next ep, kyo & tohru are all normal or worse the episodic theme prevents the continuation & jumps elsewhere. Nearly all the eps that didn’t end with a happy note, started the next ep somewhere & totally forgot the cliff hanger. such as, Isuzu’s ep in se02, it ended with tohru’s nightmare & next ep started yuki’s issues with tohru all smiley & bright. Another example, the Cinderella play ended with kyo/tohru torn symbolism where each is awkward with the other, next ep machi !!!!!! & kyo/ tohru all normal in kazuma’s house. But this time, it will be an epic mistake to do the same. Kyo going full traumatic in front of tohru to the point of her screaming is not sth you skip & start over erasing. Don’t disappoint me show! you can’t screw that, can you?
I love the symbolism of kyoko disappearing from the picture & the crack of her framed pic at the end with it still continued in he ED. Good job.
They are building for a hug clashing scene between kyo & tohtu. it must hurt. It is designed to hurt. I wanted it to hurt. It is not abt romance. It is abt mental & emotional trauma. I’m excited. But I’m scared. After today’s ep, I can confidently say I don’t trust the director. I’m an anime-only, but tohru’s part in the story is the least touched upon, the quickest to get over with & has the wackiest animation. They just don’t know how to depict an emotional tohru~ sigh~
Tohru is written to be a unique protagonist in the sea of innocent, selfless & always happy shojo heroine & opposed to the badass, physically strong female protag in shonen. She is the most realistic, but so much of her potential is wasted so far~~
“ saving the sohma’s. breaking the curse for others is a lie, in reality I wanted to do it for kyo” This line is supposed to be liberating for tohru cuz for once she is putting herself FIRST! It is not abt kyo. It is abt herself! it is cuz SHE wants him. See the difference? See how this line gives tohru the biggest character development!! but still sth is missing. I duno..
I have lots to say abt tohru, kyo, shigure, the grandpa, kyoko, Isuzu & even kazuma! I’ll do that in part 2.
I still liked the ep tho. It is solid. I”ll like it MORE if they continued from here & didn’t cut it cold.
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silver-wield · 4 years
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Nobody asked for this one, but I said I was gonna do it anyway. Barret and Cloud's friendship development.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna make a mile long post. I'm just gonna hit on the key moments, but I think these two deserve a bit of spotlight.
Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be reasonably long.
Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.
You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.
Other analyses if anyone’s interested.
Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 
Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 
Tifa character analysis 
Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I’ve had other ideas since then) 
Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 
Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 
Cloti reunion analysis 
The Promise Analysis 
Andrea’s approval (Cloti ask response) 
Leslie analysis (not mine, but a good read) 
Cloti action touching 
Aerti friendship analysis 
Cloti body language chapter 3 
Cloti healthy disagreement 
Cloti post heliboss battle (chapter 15) 
Clerith playground scene 
Cloti body language plate fall 
Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.
I'm not recapping the whole game lol
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Chapter 1: Barret isn't impressed one bit with Cloud. Watching back their early interactions and I keep noticing this sad look on Cloud's face when he's excluded. But then, I'm also like “Well you pushed them away first”. But I also wanna hug him.
Yeah, so Barret isn't impressed and he's outright hostile, calling Cloud names and antagonising him. He even shoots at Cloud and then raises his gun to take out a security bot. This man doesn't like Cloud and isn't afraid to show it.
You gotta remember, Barret is 6'5 and built like a brick shit house and has a machine gun on his arm. He's not someone to mess with. Taking that in, Cloud's dismissiveness is pretty impressive. I mean he's almost a foot shorter than Barret, after all, and his sword probably weighs more than him lol
Perhaps by the end of the chapter – after Cloud saves Jessie – Barret might have thawed a tiny bit towards him, but he's still mistrusting and doesn't like him.
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Chapter 2 and there's not a lot of interaction between them. Barret does actually agree with Cloud when he says “what's done is done” in reference to the destruction. This shows Barret is pragmatic and not against Cloud himself, just his role. After that, Cloud's alone for the rest of the chapter until the above screen when he leaps into the cargo carriage of the train and Barret says, “You had me worried for a minute.”
He looks caught out when the others all look at him because he's been a total dick to Cloud throughout the mission, but this shows he cares about his team, even if he doesn't like everyone on it. Showing concern for his people is the trait of a leader and if the game were showcased differently we could assume that Barret is our leading man.
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“The folks down here don't have the luxury of choice, you know.”
Still in chapter 2 and this is such a great moment between Cloud and Barret! There's no arguing, just Barret giving Cloud a different perspective that's not the badass merc “Idc” one he's showcasing. You can see once the conversation is over that Cloud grows introspective, so Barret's words clearly resonated with him. This looks like another marker on Cloud's chart of going from a douchebag to a decent human being. He thinks about how things are for other people. Later, Marle tells him to consider others feelings, too. To listen. I'm loving all these small moments that come together to build a clearer of picture of Cloud's development.
Barret actually removes his sunglasses – why is he wearing them at night? – to meet Cloud's eye. This is a gesture that shows his sincerity and belief in his words. He's not just blustering for the sake of it. He cares about the people and the planet.
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Chapter 3 and we don't see Barret until near the end. He's back to being snappy with Cloud – understandable since he's being a dick going on about money.
(aside: can I just squee at Cloud smiling at Tifa through this whole bit. He's such a dork)
And when we see Barret again he's very professional and courteous. There's no emotion in his tone and his words are very formal. He could be talking to anybody. His head dips as he's speaking, in an effort to lower himself more to Cloud's physical level. On an emotional one, he's making himself non-threatening. This isn’t a confrontation is what he’s putting out.
Cloud doesn't look happy at the dismissal and something we know about him is his desire for acceptance, so this probably hurts, although he acts otherwise.
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We're up to chapter 5 and this is a turning point between Cloud and Barret's budding friendship. Barret's in battle dialogue makes it clear he's trying to show off in front of Cloud, who's dismissive still. There's a lot of back and forth between them in the kind of guy banter that suggests they kind of respect each other, but they also just have to put up with each other.
The above screen is the second before Cloud says to Barret that he's better than that in response to his arguing with the Shinra manager. Barret seems surprised Cloud even tries with him, but what's more telling is this expression from Cloud shows he gave it some thought before speaking. He considered the right words to address Barret which shows he's thought about the kind of reaction Barret could have. He took in Barret’s words from chapter 2 and Marle’s from chapter 3. This is called character development!
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Chapter and Cloud throws some shade and Barret blusters lol
Tbf Barret's grown a lot less hostile since chapter 1. He's not as combative to Cloud, nor is he maliciously insulting him anymore. They've entered a stage of snarky banter, which we all know is one of the big steps on the road to friendship lol
Clearly Barret being able to see Cloud in action and rely on him in battle – not to mention Tifa's enduring good opinion – are starting to colour his own opinion.
(Tifa actually rears back when Barret waves his arm around in this bit lol)
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Barret looking to Cloud for back up here. I mean, they're all in the shit, but this is interesting that he's looking to Cloud for that reassurance they're gonna continue kicking ass. The fact Cloud agrees without even the tiniest disagreement is probably the first time they're genuinely on the same page through their own choice.
Let the friendship begin!
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Now, I bet you're thinking I picked this one to showcase cloti, well you're wrong. This is an example of how Barret's mellowed towards Cloud from his chapter 1 hostility to now. Cloud disagrees with him and instead of getting pissed that his leader decision is overruled, he lets it go.This could be a moment of contention between them, but they’ve both grown enough over the game to get to the point that not everything between them is a fight.
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Now, maybe Barret's saying this because he thinks Cloud is about to die, but that seems selfish and like he's saying it to make himself feel better after being a douchebag, and for a selfless man like Barret I just don't buy it. He's genuinely regretful of his past actions and this is the point between the two of them that they can start again and actually become proper friends.
There's no time for much of a guy reunion between them when Barret does see Cloud again all the way over in chapter 12 -- that’s a long ass time apart for Barret to think about how he treated Cloud -- and we kind of brush past Barret's feelings because the plate collapse takes priority.
After that, Barret is much nicer to Cloud, trying to get his praise in battle and being a proper support to him. There's still that snarky banter between them, but the hostile edge has gone. We see a culmination of their friendship development during the stairs climbing sequence. Where before their banter had a hard edge and combative nature to it, this is very friendly and full of jokes and warmth. Barret has definitely softened towards Cloud and considers him a real friend. You can't fake that shit.
Conclusion
Yeah, I kinda cut this short and didn't do the latter half of the game, but that's because it's much more clear than this early development. Focusing on the small interactions between them that built a gradual friendship, it took a huge shock to get Barret to reassess his opinion of Cloud and him dropping from the reactor, going missing and then showing up to save the day covered it. It was like he got a reset and from that he dropped his prejudiced preconceived ideas about Cloud and opened up to him more. Because there’s such a huge gap between the time Barret sees Cloud again, it’s easy to miss the middle part of their friendship. The part where it goes from dislike to like. It’s easy to remember Barret hating Cloud and then see them being a team after chapter 12 because those moments stick in your mind more. It’s the transition that gets lost.
I love their development and how they become friends. It's not the kind of friendship that Barret shows with Red. Those two are bros the instant they met. Cloud and Barret's relationship is more complicated because of Cloud's role and identity. It takes Barret a long time to see past that persona, especially when he's only got evidence of that to go on – unlike Tifa. Once he does, he gives Cloud his full support and trust.
I, for one, can’t wait to see how they go forward in Barret’s arc.
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littlebabycrybtch · 4 years
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internet pleading session number 2 billion;;; for the love of god stop allowing ableism. stop leaving disability and mental illness allyship out of your activism. im dealing with this shit EVERY SINGLE day and so much of it is just inexcusable laziness and selfishness on the part of ignorant self proclaimed activists like. holy shit it is getting so. Unbearably fucking bad. i dont understand how ppl in modern day are letting it get this bad. its never been Good obviously but its like,,, we were being included in activism topics for a while and gaining a lot of traction with everybody else when all of a sudden smth happened (cringe culture) ((aka the normalization of validating whiny unnecessary judgments)) and we got totally left behind and ppl even turned on us. wtf like?? whats wrong with us when was there a meeting where yall unanimously decided we’re being kicked out of the ‘caring abt this groups Oppression’ board like. a lot of yall CONTRIBUTE TO IT? what right do you feel you have to act this way to us?????? holy shit stop abandoning us please im begging this shit is too hard to deal with like stop idk what on gods green fucking earth we are actually doing to you to make yall turn on us like htis and leave us and our oppression at Your Hands completely out of your mind but im tired of the utter disrespect and disregard for what i deal with. i fucking hate it here like jkshdfjksdf yall its hell enough to just Be autistic and/or psychotic .... its almost unfathomably cruel to just. be SO hateful abt that and not give a shit. idc if its weird or makes you uncomfortable bitch ur grown get over it!! im the one dealing with it firsthand!!!! ive had too many crying meltdowns asking why i was ‘made like this’, wondering what kind of punishment im going through to be put somewhere i literally am not meant to be, where every part of how i work is different than most other people, where im told to exist where nothing exists for me and no one will care, just to have everybody talking about ‘progress’ while they let ableism run literally RAMPANT with people saying the r word and making memes out of our severe psychological distress and trauma. 
idc what anybody says about that stupid ass faux offense ‘you cant compare oppressions’ topic anymore bc tbh i NEED YOU , im begging bc i NEED YOU TO HELP ME AND SUPPORT ME for gods sake, and i dont really KNOW how to DO that anymore so like. yes im ‘comparing’ ableism to other shit yall care about, and asking outright why you Presume you get to think we’re different. why our history of forced lifelong imprisonment in asylums, our eugenics and experimentation, our still modern day medical abuse, parental abuse, and social abuse, is Different and Does Not Have To Matter Just Bc You Dont Want It To. if you can call people out for saying other slurs you can call out the r slur! you literally are showing you have the capabilities to do this, but just dont care abt us specifically!! that's FUCKED and you should know it!! if you openly fight back against disrespect towards the minorities you respect, but laugh at or even are part of the people mocking the cringe nd people, you are a self serving piece of shit!! we deserve respect. we deserve basic human respect no matter what, and we deserve more considering how much blood yall allistics and non psychotics have on your hands. i mean for gods sake how is that ignored, how does our shit mean absolutely Nothing to you!!! its one thing to have to deal with it, to be blatantly shown OVER and OVER again how LITTLE people can care, how they cant even BRING themselves to TOLERATE caring... thats whats so damaging. thats the real shit that makes me wish i wasnt me or wasnt here, bc god... i KNOW i cant even SAY smth like that, like ‘i wanna die’ without someone out there reading fighting back a giggle. without expecting an insult. cuz im an embarassing fucking r*tard whos display of feelings is just fucking weird and uncomfortable for people. im a stupid weird ass different ass bitch and no one feels they should have to care abt anything im going through bc im not easy to vibe with. and especially when my pleas for respect are like This, long and ranty and ~irrational~. bro. i try. how. the fuck am i supposed to Stay rational. im being Tormented day in and day out, and left to my own devices by ppl i thought would stay by my side. i feel like im losing my mind dealing with this alone......... so my question is, to all the ppl who call themselves a decent person. where are you hiding from this topic. where on earth ARE you guys lmao fuck
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snkpolls · 5 years
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SnK Chapter 124 Poll Results
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The chapter 124 poll closed with 2,065 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!
This month’s poll team: @erensjaegerbombs @momtaku, _Puppet_ ,  @shifter-lines and @ladymoe6​
  RATE THE CHAPTER 1,926 Responses
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Fours and fives still dominate but there’s no denying that this chapter lacked the hype we’ve seen recently. “Thaw” had the lowest number of 5’s this year, performing similarly to the Zeke-centric flashback chapter in 114, “Sole Salvation”. (There’s a pun to made here about us “warming up to Thaw” but sadly I am not smart enough to make it.)
The Chapter of Necessary Filler & the Obligatory Cliffhanger
I love that Isayama isn't rushing everything and is actually focusing on little details and small interactions between characters. He really isn't glorifying an "apocalyptical scenario" just for the sake of destruction in itself or shock value.
This chapter felt like a nostalgia trip, but I wasn't in for the ride.
This chapter was a breath of fresh air ngl. These past chapters were mostly full of either a flashback, monologue or just having two characters talking in a realm where nothing happens and time is frozen, but, at last, the plot is moving foward in the real world too. Not only it contained long gone titan action, but also great character development/moments as well. I missed this.
The leaks didn't give this chapter justice
A weaker chapter overall, I hope all this buildup will be well spent in the next chapter.
I actually loved everything about this chapter, I can't believe Isayama finally gave me a reason to kind of like Gabi. I'm sure she'll do something to immediately change that…
Isayama-sensei is the best, each chapter is a 10/10 for me. I do agree that this chapter is not as great as as the last 5, but it's still great. This year is impossible to choose the Top 5 Best Chapters of SNK
It was good, but I was hoping for a crazier year closure.
  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT?
1,995 Responses
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There were many great moments in this chapter, but Annie’s highly anticipated return to the active plot takes up the largest amount of votes! Other notable moments were: Shadis taking command, Armin realizing Annie’s crystal must have unhardened, the 104th discussing Eren, and Jean’s salty reaction to Floch’s continued survival.
A N N I E is BAAAAAAACK!!!
as someone too invested in the gabi-nicolo-braus plot thread by i love sasha i am absolutely Fed with that excellent "get out of the forest" talk. thank u for the good food nicolo
It's great to see the other 104th members discuss about Eren's actions. At least we got a glimpse on what they think about Eren's plan.
For once I'm gonna forgive Isayama for putting off Levi and Hange. I FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE ANNIE BACK ON MY BIRTH MONTH!!! BEST PRESENT EVER
I like the parallels to Trost, especially the part with the thunder spears sort of mirroring the thing with the guns and the elevator from S1
  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTERS MVP? 1,988 Responses
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Despite the influx of negative commentary, 38.2% of respondents agree that Gabi’s persistence to save Falco and reconciliation with Kaya earned her the MVP title this month. The strongest contenders were Shadis and Jean.
Annie saved this chapter from the Gabi / Kaya focus
Connie- the underrated suffer boi
Gabi best girl!
I am proud of Jean for taking charge, he acted like a real commander.
Reiner Best character 😔👌
SHADIS IS THE MVP AND I LOVE HIM
  WHICH CHARACTER WERE YOU MOST DISAPPOINTED WITH? 1,998 Responses
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“None of the above” was a popular suggestion (25.2%) but Connie edged that choice out by a percentage point (26.3%) . At least you guys listen when the evening news says that stealing children is bad.
Silly of you to ask us which character we're most disappointed with. We're always disappointed with Floch in every panel he shows up in
it's good to have a connie development, but I was a little sad about his attitude
I'm not so much disappointed with Connie in this moment as I am with the direction his character arc has gone lately in general. I miss when he was fun instead of angry all the time.
I think everyone is acting super irrational. Eren is going to destroy the world but all the SC are "accepting" of it. I think deep down they are all horrified and in a completely insane mental state causing irrational decisions and thoughts such as Jean being okay with genocide.
I understand that Connie is desperate to find a comfort after all the ppl he lost, but I'm still extremely disappointed in him for wanting to murder a child. Not just Connie tho, the same goes for Jean and Armin. Armin didn't say "Let's not kill a freaking child" he just objected because he didn't want to provoke Reiner and Pieck.
  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF REINER’S ROLE THIS CHAPTER? 1,889 Responses
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Reiner takes a back seat this chapter, and just barely over half of the fandom believe he deserves that nap after all he’s been through.  Another quarter, at 25.8% are wishing he could just die at this point, for better or worse.
"Enough already. Just sleep." - Reiner to Eren in 117
Can Reiner pick an opinion and stick with it for .2 seconds. he's like hardcore ready to kick ass and then immediately turns around and is ready to die again
Game over man
He's cute. End of the story.
I think it was bizarre that Gabi just let him fall asleep and left him in an enemy territory where he could be captured or eaten by a mindless titan
I understand him being tired an all, but sleeping in the middle of a warzone and at the start of the apocalypse???
Helos needs his rest and good dreams of Bert
I think it is set up for his future death : saving Falco by being eaten by Connie's mom (he was there with Connie in Ragako village)
Madlad goes to sleep instead of dying
Man literally too tired to die
There were certainly worse ways than "passed out from exhaustion" that he could've been written out of the chapter. At least we know his current status this way, unlike a certain duo...
He need some milk
Reiner votes for “Can’t he just die already?”
  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE EREN PARALLEL IN GABI AT THE MIRROR? 1,869 Responses
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Gabi’s design is based on Eren, and she’s had similarities and parallels to him in the past, what does the parallel in this chapter mean stacked on top of all of that?  About 70% say it’s to further emphasize how similar she is to him at her core.  12.7% don’t think it was an intentional parallel to that Eren scene, 7.7% say she’s going to receive his titan, and a solid 1% wrote in the eloquent thesis of “Fuck Gabi.”
A bit too on the nose
Both have the common factor of determination and the desire to fight to save someone else. "Fight, fight" = "Like I'd give up" In Eren's case, his scene in the mirror is portrayed in a darker, more aggressive environment, he must fight to save his loved ones, but for this goal he must destroy everything. On the other hand, Gabi shows a more heroic/pure attitude, the light is predominant, and his words refer to the desire to fight to save Falco without taking this violence path unlike Ere
Eren cant copyright this hairstyle
How dare she stand where he stood.
I didn't like any parallels that include Gabi. Not this one, and most certainly not the one with Sasha.
It definitely foreshadows something, but I don't think it's that she'll inherit his titan. I think she's going to be the one to end this madness and break the cycle. Unlike Eren, who fights for freedom both for himself and his loved ones, Gabi will fight for peace and equality: a different kind of freedom.
It symbolizes Gabi's character arc starting to go in the opposite direction of Eren, rather than showing them being similar.
It symbolizes Gabi's change in motivation to do anything to save her friends. Just as Eren's motivation in the mirror scene really marked the moment he turned genocidal to protect his friends.
  DO YOU AGREE WITH JEAN’S CONCLUSION THAT EREN IS DOING WHAT HE’S DOING TO PROTECT THOSE HE LOVES? 1,950 Responses
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Jean believes he’s figured out why Eren’s doing what he’s doing, does the fandom agree?  The large majority think that’s at least a part of it, as 40.8% think it’s solely that goal in mind, and another 53.5% believe it stemmed from that desire but has evolved and become more complex.  3.3% of fans don’t believe that’s where his motivation stems from at all.
But if that's his goal it still doesn't explain chapter 112
EREN is doing it to protect his friends. YMIR wants vengeance and bloodshed.
I agree, because I really don’t know what else could have been done. The Eldians were hated all over the world and Talk-No-Justu is a folly.
I don't know what to think. At first, Jean seems to be in denial (like most of the 104th), but perhaps it's his way of realizing things. No, Eren must love them a lot, there's absolutely no way that his genocide is unjustified. Right...? Wait…
I think he's being pragmatic and analytical. Like a real leader. Something I expected from Armin. However Armin has strokes of genius during critical times so I'm expecting something.
In a breaking bad way, yes
Yes, although I believe Eren's old and complex relationship with the idea of freedom also plays a big part in this situation.
No, because he isn't doing anything about the mindless titans and treated his friends like trash. I didn't see any kind of concern while they were in danger. I think he's more eager to set his ideals into action.
  WHAT DO YOU THINK WAS THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO WHAT TO DO WITH FALCO? 1,958 Responses
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Another serumbowl type discussion arises, yay!!...?  The vast majority, at a combined 81.4% don’t want to feed Falco to anyone, and just want to wrap him up and not start any more conflict.  11.6% think he should be fed to a known titan such as Pixis, and only 4.3% side with Connie’s reaction of feeding him to his own Mama Springer.
Falco is too important. He and Connie will probably have an arc.
Feed him to Floch, jaw titan always dies stupidly and Floch never dies so it should cancel out
Feed him to Levi that way we get jaw Levi and his hand back.
Feed Zeke to Connie's mom instead and take Falco somewhere safe
I don’t have anything against Falco personally, but it makes since to feed him to someone else
I like Falco, but Connie has lost far more than anyone outside the Walls. If feeding Falco to Connie's mom gives Connie some semblance of peace, so be it
NILE !
In a perfect world Connie can have the satisfaction of feeding ZEKE to his mother. Kinda proud that I predicted the “Connie tried to revive his mom” plot point but I think the fact that it’s falco means that Connie fails
There's no right answer here, but I can't imagine any mother would be able to live with the fact that she ate someone else's child in order to live again, so that's probably the worst option.
Well, logically speaking, Falco should probably be fed to Pixis. But my heart calls out for me to wrap him in a blanket.
  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF CONNIE SEEMINGLY SNAPPING ON THE OTHERS AND INSISTING FALCO BE FED TO HIS MOTHER? 1,947 Responses
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Understanding prevaled with close to 80% of the fandom selecting “I don’t agree with his actions but I wholeheartedly sympathize with his reasoning”. Only 13% indicated that they were disappointed with him.
Falco's a kid, man! You don't cross that line!
Connie, if your mom needs a kidney transplant, you don't just shank another person to steal their kidneys. Just saying.
Connie has been pushed to his limit. He needs a nap and a minute to cry.
Although Connie is not thinking clearly, I'm glad they're not blindly hating on him like some have been doing for Eren.
Connie's break is truly amazing to me. The guy was always so good and chill and dedicated before these hard times. To see him at his breaking point, horrified by everything that is happening and overwhelmed by the situation, and thus reverting into single-minded dedication to one fundamental goal - saving his mother. It's tragic to see him like this and it's probably not the best "logical" action, but it makes complete sense that he'd do this. He's sick of this clusterfuck. He has a ticket to save his mom and he's gonna take it. Poor Falco though, of course.
I didn't see it coming, but it's not like it's unthinkable. When the world collapses we often want to run back to our mama.
I disagreed with him, but I thinks his feelings are understandable and, also, I liked a lot that he pointed out 104's hypocrisy. The serum drama is coming back to bite their asses.
I understand he wants to see his mom again but does he really want to give her the cruel fate of becoming a titan shifter?
I understand his reasoning, but this is literally the WORST possible time to cause an internal crisis
I'm sad for him & deeply uncomfortable by it.
I’m mad at Connie only because he straight up abandoned his duty to pacify the Titan situation.  He left Jean, Mikasa, and Armin to take care of it without him. Lucky Shadis was there to help.
  REGARDLESS OF YOUR VIEWS ON CONNIE’S ACTIONS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM FINALLY GETTING SOME TIME IN THE SPOTLIGHT? 1,946 Responses
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More than half the fandom was happy to see him speak his mind and get some character development (53.3%). 16% were absolutely thrilled. Those who don’t care, and those whose disappointment over how he returned soured the moment came in at 10%... I’m willing to bet at least one of those votes is because he doesn’t have a new hair style.
Going to the dark side doesn't suit the former sunshine called Connie.
My man has been in the story since the beginning. He is well overdue for an arc.
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
But why FALCO? He's the ONLY character outside the Walls I actually LIKE!
Finally we get to see him say something about his mother. Yeah, maybe he's not one of the most important charcters overall, but what he lived through when he saw his mom on that roof finally deserves some thoughts and emotions. Connie was on the margin of the story for way too long, and I'm happy we get to see him talk about how he feels.
Glad he’s doing stuff but he’s 100% going to die
I haven't really liked his development. He's, altho understandably, just an angry dude that can't help himself from getting overcome by his emotions. Not a good look.
I really liked his whole "Eren's crossed the line", now he's making the same mistake. A bitter irony, but does Isayama have time for that?
I'm really disappointed in Connie's "friends" for basically telling him to "chill out, you can't save your mother because we need to make our enemies happy". Hell no to that, I completely sympathize with Connie far more than his "friends" especially since Armin is being the world's biggest hypocrite
It's good because it now opens up the possibility of Connie finally getting his revenge on Zeke
My Boi Connie deserves his own plot-line, so I'm really excited
  TITAN ACTION! BUT OF THE PURE AND AVERAGE VARIETY INSTEAD OF COLOSSALS, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THAT AS THE FOCUS OF THE CHAPTER? 1,936 Responses
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A chapter in the endgame that’s almost reminiscent of the defense of Trost with respect to mindless titan action and defending a base.  Despite many other happenings such as the rumbling going on currently, 46% were totally fine with the focus on mindless titan action and thought it was written well, whereas 35.6% enjoyed it, but wished there was a bit more beyond checking that box.  10.8% wanted a larger focus on the titans in the rumbling, and 5.5% would have preferred a focus shift away from Shiganshina entirely.
I love the fact that shows how prepared and easy fighting mindless titans is for them now. When the titans attacked Trost they were hopeless and Jean was the one frozen in fear. Now we get to see him clear up the titans with ease.
I think showing smaller happenings before the big reveal of Eren's titan and the effects of the rumbling are important buildup.
I would have rather focused on what's happening to Pieck and the others near the wall.
I didn't feel that was the focus, but either way, I liked it.
I wish more would’ve happened outside of it BUT it’s important to show them being dealt with otherwise readers would be like “wait, what about all those people who turned into titans?” So not the best, but necessary.
I'm not crazy about fighting scenes, I prefer the ones where they discuss stuff, but these were really emotional with Shadis and Pixis and everything. Like, it wasn't even so much about fighting itself, for me at least, but about Shadis uniting people again and Armin setting Pixis free finally.
I wish the chapter had explored the idea of Titans appearing now that the Military has begun using weapons which are more effective against humans than Titans. I had thought that the reappearance of Titans would do much more damage since the Military is no longer equipped to handle such threats.
Reminds me of the Trost arc and I love it, but it will probably end up being the last time we see pure titans as this much of a threat.
I love the Season 1-esque fan service. How this series has evolved.
I just wished they didn't have to kill their comrades...C'mon this poll question is so heartless wth?
  AFTER EREN GAINED THE FOUNDER, WHY WHERE THE MINDLESS TITANS STILL ATTACKING THE SOLDIERS? 1,944 Responses
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Nearly half of the fandom are giving Eren the benefit of the doubt that he simply cannot control the titans, rather than not caring about them or using them. Although many believe that he’s too focused on other things to concern himself with them, and many others feel certain that mindless titans attacking the soldiers is part of his greater plan.
3 times it was mentioned that Eren/Zeke can't control the Titans, I think someone else is controlling them. Possibly Ymir, maybe we'll see Eren getting betrayed.
Eren can't control the mindless Titans because they're Zeke's Titans
It's highly likely the Founding Titan's power and control over Pure Titans has a collective effect of sorts. That is, it can turn Pure Titans back into humans, but if it did, it would happen to ALL Pure Titans, not just a specific group of them. It's possible that is how the Fritz royalty used the Pure Titans while maintaining the Eldian population during ancient times. Here, if Eren were to use that aspect of the Founding Titan's power, both the Military Branch Officer Titans AND the Wall Titans would be turned back into humans. Right now, Eren is bent on using the Wall Titans to flatten the World, so he most likely does not want to use the power of the Founding Titan to turn all the Pure Titans in Shingashina + Connie's mom into humans; otherwise, the Wall Titans would turn into humans again too, and that would ruin his rumbling plan.
Regarding Eren and the mindless titans, control issues aside, I just don't think he cares.
  WHAT WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE TITAN KILL THIS CHAPTER? 1,968 Responses
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In a chapter full of titan action, several titan kills stood out as both awesome and tear jerking.  Just over half of respondents, at 51.6%, most remember Armin taking out Pixis after thanking him for his service to the cause.  In a very narrow battle for second place, Keith Shadis sowing the recruits how it’s done won out over Gabi taking a cue from Sasha and saving Kaya.
All of them were pretty darn cool
Gabi's and Mikasa's tie for me
Hard to choose, they're all good
I didn't find any of them memorable if I May be honest
Can I choose all? Because I am.
It's a tie between Shadis arriving to save the recruits, Gabi saving Kayo from the Nile Titan, and Armin killing the Pixis Titan. If I was forced to pick, I'd say Armin's scene because of his sorrowful dialogue upon seeing Pixis as a Pure Titan and the flashback to one of Pixis's earliest highlights when he believed in Armin and Eren shortly after they first met.
Literally all of them what kind of sadistic question is this how could I possibly choose
Loved all the kills!!!
ALL OF THE ABOVE
  THERE WAS A LOT OF DEBATE AS THIS CHAPTER WAS COMING OUT ABOUT GABI, AT THIS POINT DO YOU LIKE HER AS A CHARACTER IN THE STORY? 1,985 Responses
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Nearly two-thirds of of the fandom currently enjoy Gabi’s overall character, despite what their first impressions may have been (65.1%) . Though there are still many who have yet to warm up to her, if they ever do (34.9%).
Gabi is beginning to grow on me enough I feel neutral about her.
Gabi is a LITTLE more favorable to me, but I still hate her and I wish she never existed. She can never earn forgiveness for Sasha.
gabi is good you guys are just mean
  WHICH THOUGHT BEST MATCHED HOW YOU CURRENTLY FEEL ABOUT GABI? 1,977 Responses
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One of the most controversial characters in the story is of course Gabi Braun, but what do fans truly think of her?  Almost half, at 45.9% don’t profess love for her character from the mountains, but understand why she’s important to the story.  In contrast, 19.6% firmly believe the story would be better off if she never existed, and 17.6% want to see even more of her in the upcoming chapters.  16.9% just think she’s been in the spotlight a little bit too much.
Fuck Gabi, Eren will always be better, not this carbon copy Mary Sue
gabi fucking GANG
Such a great chapter! I’m glad that the Gabi hate is stopping now.
Don't know why are people surprised about Gabi. Her closure with the Braus family is something I figured was gonna happen eventually. Guess Isayama wanted to get that out of the way early.
Of course my opinion of Gabi is unchanged. I still hate her no matter how much "development" she gets.
Gabi is a super uninteresting character to me
i really liked gabi’s character development in this chapter, especially since i was previously a gabi hater.
She is the new MC now. Upgrade.
I see why Gabi exists but she’s just such a forced character. The parallel between her and Sasha was so forced and just felt wrong. Don’t care about her killing Sasha her character is just a forced rehash of eren.
I'm disappointed in her as she is becoming more likeable
Gabi's character development finally completed in a brilliant way
Like Eren, she's fighting for people she cares about, even if she's wrong/vicious with her methods.
I’m tired of Gabi
Really wish we wouldn't have Gabi shoved down our throats, she's not a good character, let alone person
I'm really proud of Gabi and how far she's come from her original POV. I'm really hoping that this influences Eren and I really hope Falco and Gabi get to reunite.
yams wants us to like her more
She has the same motivations as Eren once had, to save the world, basically.
I will admit Gabi has gone through a lot of development. But that doesn't mean I have to like her. I still hate her, and I will NEVER EVER forgive her for what she did to Sasha.
Gabi's haters being mad is so funny. My girl truly shined this chapter, I love her even more.
Gabi.... I feel like I would absolutely hate being around her irl but I guess I do appreciate her as a character in the story.
Never wanted to kill a child so badly in my existence
Death to Gabi Braun!
I don't hate Gabi enough to want her dead, but "too much spotlight" is the understatement of the year, especially when there is still a lot that has yet to be resolved with the main characters
She just wants to protecc
I love Gabi but she gets too much screen time at this point in the story. I want to see Historia and hopefully Eren later.
I LOVE GABI SO MUCH SHE IS THE BEST GIRL
I like Gabster. Gabi Gang Gabi Gang
Me no likey bad bad
  NOW THAT ALL OF THE ORIGINAL BRANCH HEADS ARE GONE, WHO SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF THE PARADIS MILITARY? 1,955 Responses
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The head of all of Paradisian government, Darius Zackly, went out with a bang, and now we’ve lost the interim head Pixis, as well as Nile Dok.  Who’s going to pick up the torch?  There’s a big three that seem to have emerged as popular choices, with Jean winning out, Hange coming in second, and Shadis taking up third.  
A combination of several people noted above.
Hanji+SC Armin+Garrison Jean+MP
Anyone but Floch
Jean. He's the only one that can view the Rumbling objectively and not rule it out as bad because their enemies are destroyed
Armin for strategy, Jean for leadership, Hanji for progress
Daz
Shadis should take over, but only untill Jean can get a little more experience leading.
As long as they agree Marley needs to be wiped out for the sake of Paradis, I'm okay with any leader that accepts that responsibility
Definitely not Hange. She wanted to make peace with Marley. Not leadership worthy at all.
Rico ;-;
Hange may be commander, but they are unfit for taking on as the head of the military. Same goes for Keith, though in this chapter he shows courage by stepping up to push the trainees to fight, I doubt he is willing to go back into a similar position as he was before as the Survey Corp's commander. Among the candidates, Armin may seem like a promising candidate, but aside from his proven intellect, just like Hange both do not possess the level of prowess of leading all three branches (four if count the training squad)of the military. More I think about it the "best" candidate in this list may surprisingly be Jean, but so far he hasnt been giving me the impression as someone who can take on such a massive role.
Erwin
  WHY DID FLOCH ARREST THE VOLUNTEERS? 1,903 Responses
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The fandom is fairly divided on Floch’s motives, with a three-way split that comes close to being even. The highest amount of respondents feel he is arresting the Volunteers because he doesn’t trust them based on past actions. In the middle, people feel that he doesn’t want to be associated with any non-Eldian people. And in third place, people felt that he doesn’t trust Yelena specifically, and is taking her group down with her.
As far as I've seen, Floch is on Eren's side, not Zeke's. So that would make Yelena, who hasn't heard about her boss and the euthanasia plan, dangerous as fuck. Even with that, Floch's following his own principles. He has different reasons than Eren, but he just needs the "devil" figure to project his own will.
He always knew Yelena and Zeke's intentions because of Eren, and now he's arresting them to prevent more trouble caused by them. I think Eren "trusts" and is working with Flcoh more than the fandom expect.
Because they conspired to sterilize/euthanize the Paradisians.
He's a completely inconsistent character whose personality and character motivations change at the drop of a hat in order to create conflict in the story.
He thinks Yelena can take over his position of the best Yeager fanboy and he can't have that.
He was never really on their side at all! Just like how Eren saw them - they were a means to an end, a useful tool but a dangerous one that could never really be trusted. Now that Eren has made his intentions clear and the ideological split is visible, he's fully turning on them and suppressing them from potentially pursuing their own agendas further.
There’s not enough room on Paradis for both of those eccentric hair cuts
  GABI AND ARMIN BOTH SEEM INTERESTED IN PUTTING ASIDE THEIR DIFFERENCES: WILL THE SURVEY CORPS AND WARRIORS TEAM UP? 1,928 Responses
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After having been warring factions since the beginning, will the warriors and Survey Corps finally team up as one?  62.9% feel a team up will happen, but not everyone from both sides will want to be involved, and a solid 30% believe a full team up is in the cards.  Only 5.8% don’t feel that it’s possible at this point.
Any cooperation will be a compromise, so maybe?
At this point I really don't know. Their passivity disappointed me fully this chapter. They need their TRUE leaders who are MIA at the moment.
I hope it happens but I think Armin is acting under Bert's influence
I hope not, it sounds lame.
i think maybe they will be forced to work together to stop the titans because they are attacking both sides.
It's the ideal scenario I suppose
Only until the Rumbling stops. After that, the SC needs to dispose of all the remaining Warriors to end the war for good.
PLEASE MAYBE REINER WILL GET SOME CLOSURE OUT OF IT
Probably but it’s waaay to cliché. Please don’t Isayama
They'll team up to stop Eren, if that works they'll be enemies once again
Yes and Yes! I've been saying this for months: warriors and SC are going to have to work together. Magath is going to play a role in this too.
  ANNIE!! THOUGHTS: 1,948 Responses
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91 chapters.  91 Months.  7 and a half years.  Longer than we were with the characters pre-timeskip.  Annie has been in a crystal, but now she's free!  33.4% think she came back at the perfect time and Isayama has nailed his writing once again.  18.4% are excited for her return, but don’t feel there’s much time left in the story for the wait to be worth it.  15.7% aren’t worshippers at her crystal, and so aren’t too hyped out of their minds.  29% however: A N N I E
akueeoekskfnfjyfjekqwiruuri MY GIRL IS BACK BITCHES, AND I NEED POST-AWAKENING MIKANNIE FANFICTION NOW
glad she's back but the plot has nothing for her to do anymore
How he brought her back makes perfect sense and I love it. If she chose to come out at this time rather than being forced, it would have been awkward and forced to be honest. But Eren taking away all hardening is the best way to bring her back AFTER SEVEN FUCKING YEARS.
glad to have her back but sceptical of her importance
go back into hibernation
Good in-story reason, great writing, but waited far too long. Not sure if she will even be relevent for the remainder of the story that already has a lot of loose ends.
Hentannie
I am not hyped because it took too long and the series has gone too far down a path I can no longer follow.
I DID MY WAITING! TWELVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN!
I don't know what Annie can do at this point of the story that will make her return worthwhile
I don’t think Isayama and his editors would allow her to be brought back for a poor plot point/reason, so I’m curious to see what role she’ll have.
I wasn't too concerned about Annie at this point in the story but I'm glad that her return makes sense with the events currently taking place and I'm interested to see what Isayama has planned for her.
I'm no fan of her so I'm not excited at all, but I assume she'll drive the plot somewhere soon.
She's got a lot of catching up to do. Concerned it won't be handled well.
The reasoning is sound, and I am glad that Isayama thought that part through, but we have a limited number of pages left, so I am worried about how this will play out.
Took too long so it ended up being very 'meh' for me, but congratulations Annie-stans, have a drink tonight
Should've been way sooner, her potential as a character feels wasted since we're almost done now. All she'll have time to do is get caught up on what happened and then have a couple reunions.
I honestly have no idea what Isayama plans to do with her but I’m just GLAD SHES FINALLY FUCKING BACK!!!! MY BABY GIRL IS BACK!!!!
  ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT ANNIE WILL DO NEXT? 675 Responses
Annie will have a run-in with Hitch, get things explained and head towards the main conflict.
Dare I say it, Assist With Armin’s Talk No Jutsu with Eren
"Run"
Definitely try to get to her dad.
Try to find her warrior friends
Determine her situation and act accordingly
She won't be too surprised at what Eren's become. She remarked how when the "good guys" take power, then it's all over to Marlowe in Season 1.
A girl can dream of her and Pieck being badasses.
All the titan shifters will come together (location-wise), it seem like a flag? Since all the shifter's powers is a part of Ymir herself, having them close might have significant meaning.
ANNIETHING
Be traumatized by manga spoilers? Wonder wtf happened?? Try to find Reiner??
Annie will join Eren.
Not give a shit about anything apart from Papa Leonhardt
Annie will play a huge role in stopping Eren, in some way.
be a badass like usual and FEMALE TITAN ACTION?????
Change her clothes because why is she wet
umm take a shower lol
Character development and teaming up against Ereh
I think Hitch will be the one to find her - she was in charge of guarding the crystal. I think she'll be too weak to fight right now though, so I'm worried that she's just going to be used as a Titan Shifter snack :(
Somehow affect Eren's mindset. Not sure exactly how.
Go kiss Armin pls
I'm hoping for Armin to transform into the Colossal Titan. Annie will see this thinking it's Bertoldt, and then have a good character moment upon finding out that Armin ate him.
Her endgame is to at least partially counteract the rumbling with her scream ability.
Confused --> Shocked --> Mad --> or all at the same time. Anyway, she will probably meet up with Armin and the gang and they will explain the shit situation to her and somehow they will come up with a plan or smth.
I think she’ll be forgotten about for a few chapters then show up in the battle. It’ll be interesting to see what side she takes at that point. I’m sure someone will conveniently fill her in on the last few years.
She's a wild card, but the last we saw her she wanted to get back home. I'm sure she will be invested in saving the world from annihilation.
She is FAR away right now. I think dealing with Annie is a good wind-down after all this World-ending stuff has been dealt with, like when they save the Shire after defeating Sauron
Crystallize
Yeet to Marley and die with her papa.
Annie's first move will be to find a toilet sure she must be dying for a pee like
  HOW HAS YOUR OPINION ON THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS CHANGED?
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Shadis, Jean and Gabi are the big winners in the opinion poll this month with the majority selecting “More Favorable” reaction to them. Shadis had 1379 respondents selecting “more favorable”, Jean had 1076 and Gabi came in third with 980. Fighting titans so soon after surviving a bear attack is impressive, so I’m not surprised with these results. At the other end of the spectrum, Connie (542) and Floch (496) had the most number of “Less Favorable” selections. While the good outweighed the bad, Gabi again proved to be polarizing with 432 people choosing “Less Favorable” despite her positive development this month.
  FAVORITE NEW TITAN DESIGN? 1,926 Responses
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Isayama’s nods to his television viewing habits continue with the appearance of the “Better Call Saul” titan. Our appreciation of Isayama’s sense of humor continues with more than 50% of us selecting it as “Favorite New Titan Design” (51.5%). Pixis was a distance second with close to a quarter choosing his titan form (23.7%) as their favorite.
Still laughing over the Saul Titan. Good ol' slippin' Jimmy
the Better call Saul titan looks more like Bolsonaro (Brazil's president)
one last hurrah to the Pure Titan mayhem the series was originally known for, and witnessing the tragic end to Nile and Pixis
  WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,926 Responses
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The three elements of the story which have been absent for months, or even years, take the top overall votes for what the fandom would like to see next. 33.6% are dying to see present-day Levi and Hange again. 24.1% are still eager to get Historia’s perspective. 23.6% are still hoping to one day see Eren’s inner thoughts.
All I want for Christmas....Is Historias POV
I'm missing Connies adventure on the 'What are you hoping to see next chapter?' question.
Bitch give me Levi. It’s been more than half a year.
I literally only care about the 104th characters so the more of them we can see next chapter the better
Give me more Eren action pleaseee
So why is Annie pov not an option for next chapter?
I have waited for 7 years, finally, Annie is back. I wanna see more of her story and  character development. I cant wait to see her conversation with Hitch and Armin!
Please Isayama give me more good Shadis content
I really want to see Eren's full complete titan. Issayama, stop blueballing us please!
I would actually like to know more about that spine creature that is evidently the source of Titans.
Is there a Kiyomi option?
  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,843 Responses
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With close to 200,000 members it’s no surprise that Reddit continues to dominate the discussion field (47.7%), followed distantly by Tumblr (15.5%), Real Life (9.8%) and Discord (6.7%). Amazingly, 9% don’t discuss it at all. This month, FIVE of you said Snapchat, up from four last month, so while there’s still technically a possibility that you guys are actually forming some weird snapchat cult and this isn’t an elaborate psyop, I’m still not convinced. But regardless of where you discuss the series, or if you even do, we truly appreciate your participation in the chapter poll!
  ADDITIONAL COMMENTS? 416 Responses
OMG! Okay, it's happening! Everybody stay calm! Annie! Annie! Annie!
Annie got crystalized in chapter 33, and now she's out, 91 chapters later. Since 12 chapters are published in a year, we have been waiting for her (not including flasbacks and her just chilling in the crystal) 7 years and 7 months. I salute all the diehard Annie fans, you had a long wait.
Once again I have marked my calendar. May 9, 2012 - December 5, 2019. After 7 excruciating years our queen is FINALLY awake. This deserves a new record for longest amount of time a character has been comatose in real life. Thank GOD it's finally over I still can't believe it.
I'm a big fan of all of the smaller storylines coming together, hoping for everything to be wrapped up nicely and characters from different factions (i.e Hange, Annie, Historia) all coming together to address the rumbling.
It felt a little like a breather chapter, despite all the action. It was nice to slow down and get some character development for everyone.
“Everyone has a devil in them” is a great message. Hope they all team up and stop Eren. Very curious about what Annie will do!
The parallels to Trost arc were nice, but I felt like the endgame was finally amping up only to be put on hold.
Great chapter! I like Pathland, and the flashback with Levi and Hanji was great, but it was a relief to get some current time action. Gabi is best girl, Armin just went up by leaps and bounds in my book, and Annie is back!! So excited for the next chapter…
Great one ! The fear from the mindless titans in back, like in Trost. Many side characters development/deaths (Nile, Pixis, Shadis, Kaya, Nicolo, Gabi, Annie, Connie, Jean...). So much good stuff, I almost forgot about the rumbling going on !!
Amazing. If Isayama maintains this quality til the end, then this will be one of my favorite series, of any media, ever.
I'm wondering what Annie can realistically do at this point. Sure she beat Eren before but now he's in another level.
Guess we don't have to deal with the genocidal jock for a while
REINER HELOS BRAUN WILL SAVE THE WORLD (after his power nap)
ANNNIIEEEEE; Shadis' comeback was wonderful. I hope he can make up for the loss of Pixis and Erwin and such. He has great potential and he's a well developed character. Jean is asking the real questions, but the showdown between him and Floch is about to go down.
I said previously that if Floch survives I wanted my money back. But you know what? I'll take my refund in Annie store credit. Thanks for that bright spot, Isayama!  Also: this chapter pointed out how many good people in the world will suffer if Eren succeeds. And I felt as frustrated with the remnants of the 104th as Gabi. Nicolo and Shadis became my unexpected heroes this chapter.
Is Zeke still alive? Is he still controlling the mindless titans?
Floch didn’t do anything particularly bad this chapter but every time I have to see his face my opinion of him becomes less favorable. When Jean said “so you lived...” I FELT that disappointment lol.
I love the Braun siblings interaction in this chap. And Nicole's "we'll try to get out of the forest" sends chills. I think that's one of the point ISTM is trying to get across.
Does Connie realise that if his mother was given one of the nine titan powers she would be made to fight? Getting one of the titan powers is very much a curse not a blessing (especially with the Jaw titan)
At this point the Eren/Gabi parallels are feeling a little overdone and forced.
If Gabi receives Eren’s Titan it will be the stupidest most disappointing thing to happen in this- no all of manga! Besides, what is the damn point of her “paralleling” Eren anyways? But the Sasha paralleling was even more gnarly YUCK!
It's true that the people of Paradis will benefit from this shit, but I highly disagree with any justification when it comes to Eren's horrible actions. GENOCIDE IS NEVER THE OPTION. I think Jean is disappointed too but he's trying his best to rationalize the crap Eren's carrying out for he still doesn't want to believe his friend is committing genocide. I expect he comes back to his senses soon otherwise I no longer will appreciate him as a character.
That "who are you most disappointed" will sadly be filled with Armin hate tbh. And in the end he was just wanting to avoid unnecessary conflict... tbh Anyone hating on Connie, Gabi and Armin doesn't seems to know how humans emotion work in helpless situations...
What Yams is doing to Connie is further proof he is ruining his main characters (the good ones) to make room for his precious Marley characters (the crappy ones)
Connie's regression and frustration was more and more visible since Sasha died. He's lost everyone close to him. I am happy to see him finally snap at Armin and go his own way. This was foreshadowed for a while now.
I hope Isayama sensei doesn't forget to include World Millitary's raid in the action. They already mention in some previous chapter by Zeke.
Quantity-wise, the chapter wasn't centered around Gabi, okay. But. BUT. Gabi got quite a few powerful scenes, very Gabi-centric scenes, and I'm not happy about that. I don't see how and why the fandom so easily forgave her for what she's done. Isayama drawing parallels between Gabi and Sasha was insulting and distasteful.
It is highly likely that this is the last time we are going to see Pure Titan mayhem in the series now that the Rumbling is taking place, so I think it was great to that focus in this chapter. I thought it was handled well, especially with Shadis's scenes, the parallel of the new recruits seeing the Pure Titans peaking through the hole of the fortress tower much like a similar scene in the Trost arc, the tragedy of seeing Pixis and Nile (two of the last remaining head honchos of the military not counting Hange and Shadis) as Pure Titans and getting killed off for good, and how characters like Armin and Jean fought those Pure Titans.  
WARMASTER FLOCKE, TO LEAD THE ARMIES OF ELDIA TO VICTORY! Haha no I guess not. I'm torn between Flocke, Jean, Eren, and Shadis. All could be good picks but all outcomes would have different implications on the story and what it means. I guess if I had to pick, it'll be Shadis or Eren for now and then perhaps Jean later when things have settled and they've grown up more.
I honestly can't keep up with how many faces Floch has.
With how the pacing is handled there's no way this is ending in 6 chapters. The real climax is Eren having to go against his friends because there's no way in hell Mikasa is allowing him to genocide kids
As heartbreaking as this chapter has been, I already had my hopes destroyed when 119 was released. Today has been the confirmation for two awesome characters, who fell because of the non-veteran rule. I don't know why I still hope to see Keith staying alive, but at least we got an awesome moment of his.
Characters are being balanced relatively well. Isayama's got a lot of characters and plot threads to deal with, and while Levi, Hange and Historia are getting less focus than I would like, I think he's doing a pretty good job of keeping each character relevant and giving them all some good arcs/ moments
Everything (except for Gabi scenes) was perfect for me!
Eww Gabi-focused chapter…
I simply hate how cowardy the 104th is acting. It's clear they're only fighting in their own interest and are just pulling excuses after excuses for supporting Eren. At least Floch is honest about it.
Man, the 104th always been the group I care the less in the story, but this chapter they're being so annoying (apart from Mikasa). Well, I can forgive Connie because of everything he went through, but Jean... why are you saying this ""there was no other choice, eren is protecting us"" bs ? Nice of you to be complicit of mass genocide. (Yes, I know his face shows he's conflicted, but he still sides with eren) Also Armin... at least he's horrified at what's Eren's doing but when he said that if they don't kill Falco there would be no conflict with the warriors since Marley will be gone....that's just dumb. Their home and families are going to be destroyed, but ok Armin, go off. And getting into another serumbowl situation, with one of my fave uncounscious while the SC decides who will eat him... I don't like it. (I don't think Falco will be eaten tho, the whole thing raised many death flags on Connie)
Great chap, Isayama seems to finally give closure to certain plot parts. End is near.
Here's a crazy idea: feed GABI to Connie's mom instead of Falco, there would be nowhere near as much arguing with that
Highlights that people can rise above their conditions to become better people, offering a counterargument that humanity should be wiped out.
I don't get why the story pacing was disrupted so much. Why build up to a climatic cliffhanger with the rumbling, only to basically ignore it for the entire following chapter?
I honestly wonder if titan shifting still works as it used to. I'm afraid of seeing Falco get eaten for nothing. Honestly I'm worried about Falco dying for nothing while people right over him as a pawn in general.
Quite interesting chapter. Had fun with it. Much, much slower paced than expected almost. But then again we need time to cover all this stuff. And I'm happy it all took place in the current rather than another flashback. Not really a fan of the Gabi stuff but it is what it is. The other character developments were quite nice. Reiner literally just falling asleep tho lol. Overall I guess I wouldn't say it's a "big" chapter but it is necessary to bridge what came before with whatever comes next. And at long last Annie is back, so that's GLORIOUS.
I hope Annie will have such a big role she gets repaid for the all years she's been gone😞
I hope Isayama uses the slowdown in the pace to better sell the scale of the rumbling, we already see part of that by hoe Eren's dino titan still isnt complete, even after all this time
I love how the story is progressing.The next chapter is always something I personally don't expect and it's always exciting. The hype at the beginning/end of the month is unreal. As for the chapter itself, it's always refreshing to see Jean's perspective on Eren's plans because I love his interpretations on him. #TEAMJAEGER
i love my waifu annie i missed her so much
I love you Connie and I'm sure your mom is nice and all but Falco is a precious bean who needs to be protected.
I really hated the Gabi-Sasha and Gabi-Eren parallels. I also still think Gabi was never needed in this story, in fact I don’t know how I’ll be able to stomach season 4. Ugh, the first half will be completely and utterly Gabified. Gabi in color and motion plus speaking, YUCK!  Anyways I hope that the next chapter will have an update on Hange, Levi, and Historia. And maybe Floch getting punched by Shadis that would be the Cherry on top.
It was an average chapter, not bad but nowhere near as good as the previous ones. Plus I'd appreciate if other characters, outside of Gabi, had more spotlight. Her arc and development is done, give more development and screentime to other characters such as Mikasa please.
Just being disappointed. The pacing is very slow. Also the main cast's reactions were too passive. I hated it.
Just great. Just great. The drawings were incredible and the plot just keeps getting better.
Less Gabi, more Historia!
Levi and Hange better return in some way, shape, or form, or Yam's is in for it.
Levi is the new Annie
Love getting to see thoughts from many different characters and where they stand. A lot of them are still left behind trying to rationalise things to make it emotionally palatable, or simply stuck not being able to accept the reality, whereas Gabi has kind of gone ahead and realised there's evil on both sides, and she's willing to kill Eren or work with him if she can best protect the people she cares about (eventually probably not just her friends and family either, but the outside Eldians as a whole).
My baby is back!!!!!!!! I wanna see more of ANNIE!!!!!!
Nicolo talking to Kaya and Gabi was cringey af. Did they really do back to that derpy forest analogy? If this series ends with them holding hands and singing around a campfire imma legit be so disappointed. I need me my Rumbling!
This chapter felt like a nostalgia trip, but I wasn't in for the ride. It was a mess of short catching-up moments when I just want to pick Eren's brain. I want to see Levi and Hange alive or hear what Annie and Historia think about the events, but at the moment I don't care about even those storylines. I just want to know what the relationship between Ymir and Eren is now that the walls came down.
The first panel being Mr. Leonhart was a pretty strong indicator to me that Annie would be released in the last panel, and it was. I felt that to be extremly poetic, and the timing is good too. Another wildcard in the plot. Excellent.
Compared to the previous chapter, this one turned out to be very disappointing. I was excited to see the rumbling and getting a glimpse of Eren’s thoughts and feelings. But instead I got Reiner going to sleep, Gabi being paralleled to Eren (again) and Sasha, the 104th busy arguing over what to do with Falco instead of, you know, focusing on THE RUMBLING
Good chapter, but if S4 is the final season and airs Autumn 2020, and with a monthly release, curious as to how isayama might tie up these "last minute" plot threads such as the new developments with Connie and Falco.
What else can I say except it's amazing and it was worth the wait
Where is Levi damnit
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saint-patrice · 5 years
Note
Tbh I would like to have the 34 *other* Bergy pics on your shortlist, complete with commentary lolol. And then (if you’re still waiting that is) any other Marchy pics with commentary? xD xD
oh my godddd you are my favourite person anon - ask and ye shall receive 😎 i should maybe warn that while this doesn’t have actual nsfw content you probably wouldn’t want to read this to your kids as a bedtime story. anyway, here we go: 
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this was very close to making the original list. i like the soft lighting and the kind of floofy hair, yet he still looks like he could absolutely fuck me up (both like in a fight and various other ways). this photo gets me thinking some thoughts ™ if i am being honest
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a literal saint and god amongst men right here. his brown eyes are so soft and his little smile puts me at ease. this is a man who would treat me right (fact). this photo is also from quite deep into the playoffs so the beard is going a little wild, and whilst i’m glad it isn’t like this all of the time, i very much appreciate it when it’s around.
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O CAP’N MY CAP’N (sorry zee). nah for real this exudes some real sexy alternate energy. if i were on the opposing team and i saw this formidable man just skating around looking like that i think i’d just go back down the tunnel and hide in the locker room. this man will fucking kneecap you for the sake of a goal if that’s what it takes. and then i remember that it’s patrice and he’s the nicest man alive and he would literally never, but that’s still the energy this image has. and i ain’t saying i don’t like it.
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okay this is just cute. they look like 2 dads who aren’t entirely sure how to take a selfie but are willing to try. the outfits lend this a slightly chaotic energy - i can’t commend zee’s colour combo if i’m honest, and when juxtaposed with the plaid shirt it kind of hurts my head. but it adds to the dad energy so i still love it. also this is from chara’s ig and the caption is super sweet.
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DADS WITH THEIR KIDS ALWAYS GETS ME. i don’t even want kids, nor do i particularly like them, but seeing a man with his child is the cutest thing in the world and this, predictably, is no exception. patrice’s son 100% has his eyes which is really cute. speaking of patrice’s eyes, he may be smiling here but if you look into his eyes all you will see is fear - that child does not appear too bothered about remaining upright on the ice, and i suspect thay bergy is concerned about this. it would be criminal for me to not comment on the jeans. bergy has some exceptional thighs as these jeans do an excellent job of highlighting that.
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this is Hot, and i’m not accepting criticism on that opinion. the crisp white shirt w no jacket or tie, and the top buttons undone???? i need a lie down. the hands are also making a nice appearance which i can always appreciate. basically what i’m saying is that i’m jealous of that snake this is an excellent photo and i owe the bruins instagram person a drink for posting it.
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do you remember when i said bergy had marvellous thighs? well take a fucking sip babes - they’re like tree trunks carved out of carrara marble. if i have to die i want it to be because they crushed my skull. this is also one of the clearest photos i’ve seen of his tattoo, so it has that going for it too ( sidenote if anyone has an image with literally a pixel of his tattoo pls send it my way, i’m getting desperate at this point). i also think men in jewellery is a good look so i’m digging his beaded bracelets and silver chain. fantastic picture all round.
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yeah okay there’s no escaping that the main reason this one made the list is 🍑. it’s exquisite. those pants also do a great job on the thighs too. the hair, socked feet (no i dont have a fetish i just think ppl in their socks with no shoes is kind of funny), and hands get an honourable mention
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is this the only picture that has ever mattered? i’d believe it. patrice just lovingly gazing down at his son giving his hockey husband a handshake? you just can’t beat it. i have also been emotionally ruined by that tiny #37 jersey oh my
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in the interest of being polite, i will describe this look as rugged. he has probably objectively looked better but i just like this photo and awful lot.
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i don’t think i can give any commentary on this without saying something genuinely not suitable for public eyes. the 2 things i will say are: the only thing keeping me going completely feral horny looking at this is those pants,, if they were black or navy i’d be dead; and patrice i am begging you to do up a few more buttons on your shirt or remove it completely or i’m not going to live much longer.
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oh man i just love this??? i can’t even explain why. the lack of much beard and the expression in his eyes just makes him look massively soft - i would give him a kiss on the nose and a cuddle in this photo
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(gif via @gaudreau) i am slightly loathe to admit this bc it sounds weird but cuts and bruises can sometimes be a real look so this checks that box for me. his smile when he talks truly is one of the finer things in life too. also the lil shrug. i love you mr pikachu
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a** fantastic **angle. this is just prime beautiful bergy.  excellent level of beard imo, the lighting shows off his v nice bone structure, and the nose is looking fab as always. weird observation of the day is that his neck looks nice in this
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i mean obviously this had to go in - lord knows it’s fucking iconic. i have so many questions about how this situation came to be (aside from the fact that alcohol was involved. did brad initiate it? or patrice? why are they spinning? what the fuck? how the fuck? why was i not invited?) but anyway, this photo increased my thirst for a shirtless bergy photo at least two-hundredfold. at this point it’s a need not a want. i don’t think i can continue to comment on this without straying into nsfw territory so we’ll leave it at that. oh the things i would do
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classic humble patrice making an appearance here, reminding us that he is not only the most handsome bastard to ever walk planet earth, but he’s a great guy too. just can’t hate him. and boy is he handsome in this gif. excellent stubble (im really invested in his facial hair if you hadn’t noticed), and the smile that could melt even my cold heart on display here. also bonus points for the previously mentioned thing about cuts/bruises. (sorry). i love this one 
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in contrast to some of the prior ones, this picture is so cute that i can make nothing but pg comments about it. this is exactly the same face we all make when someone points a camera at us and says “cheese!” and i love that. the man looks good in white. good, wholesome content right here.
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(gif via @weekendatbergysblog) okay the baby is cute but the fucking headband is what gets me in this. i’m able to make no further comment because this short circuits my brain.
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(gif via @davidpastrnut)when i first saw this gif i had to go find the source video because i didn’t believe he actually said that but i’m here to tell you: he did. i love these hockey husbands so much. also i saw this tagged as “# hot waiter” one time and i still haven’t got over how accurate that is. someone more talented than me, i’m begging you for that fucking au 
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(gif via @gaudreau) can patrice please stop looking up ??? it’s unfair that someone can look so good just looking in a direction what the fucK. he’s so stunning.
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i love this one. brad pulling his hoodie down like that looks like he’s... soliciting and honestly who could blame him. bergy looks very cute, if a bit edgy in the all black. the hand is a treat in this one hooooooooooooooooo yes
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this one show’s off patrice’s dark features very well. it’s amazing how he has such dark hair, dark eyes, big dark eyebrows, and dark facial hair, yet it doesn’t overcrowd or shadow his face ( except occasionally in awful lighting) ??? does anyone actually know how that works?? he’s looking very pensive here, and that hoodie looks oh-so-cosy. absolutely would cuddle.
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**how cute is this y’all. **in case you thought you were just missing something, no, patrice is not sitting on a chair. he’s just maintaining that deep squat like a champ. maybe that’s the secret to his sublime thighs... the navy/deep red is an excellent look on him, and we get a rare glimpse of bergy with his wedding ring, which i find to be oddly cute. bonus points for him being beside a very cute kid too :)
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(gif via @jakedebrask) this, i, ummmmm. i- uhh. just. um. yeah. so like. uhhhh... swiftly moving on
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(gif via @davidpastrnut) this motherfucker and his handsome fucking face even looks good in that god-awful wooly patriots hat. honestly it looks like he’s about to go out and have a snowball fight (presumably with brad). decidedly rather domestic and i love it
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(gif via @davidpastrnut) intense media patrice is intense. this is such a classic bergy face though, i love it. every time some media person asks him some big long question he puts on this exact very-invested-and-slightly-concerned face, its iconic. looking cosy in a hoodie once again. stop it. 
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nice polo, dude
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(gif via @davidpastrnut) that tshirt looks like its fighting for its life to contain those biceps. a dark, brooding patrice that has some sort of slow burn au stirring deep in my mind. from other angles in this interview the tattoo is fairly visible also.
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this has such a strong energy it almost knocked me off my feet. again, i can see this being some sort of business or maybe criminal masterminds au. but fuck me, does that man looking something beautiful in a suit. the one hand in the pocket is quite frankly BDE too. i’m glad i’m not into dadkes or esle i think this whole picture would be too much for me.
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he is literally the kind of man you’d want to bring home to your parents. i’m glad he seems to have cashed in on the navy/deep red combo because it really does suit him. he looks so fucking dapper here i may be very much in love
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another excellent on-ice shot of him, albeit his slightly concerned expression. the beard is looking fucking crisp here hello sir. not much else to say on this, just a handsome, handsome boy.
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(gif via @jeffsamardzija) another one that gives me Thoughts. he’s literally so beautiful. hair is cut a little shorter than usual on the sides and on anyone else it would scream fuckboy but i’m kind of digging it on bergy, at least on this one occasion. if i say anything else we’ll go down the rabbit hole
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oof this is_ intense. _bergy aside, this is just an incredible shot tbh. rare that we get to see mr perfect not completely level-headed and playing it cool so it feels like a treat when we do. lowkey hot ngl
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last but very certainly not least, mr patrice bergeron, four-time bergeron award winner, holding the award itself. this photo honestly just makes my heart swell a little with pride - it’s what he deserves!!!! just absolutely dapper in a beautiful suit as always, and a smile that could topple a nation to round it all off.
thank you so much for this anon!!! it was rather self-indulgent but i hope you like it :) also i will absolutely do another one with marchy, although my nails have been dry for about 2 hours now so i’ll probably do it tomorrow or friday, but it’s on its way :)
38 notes · View notes
lilyhoshikawa · 5 years
Text
Aoi Zaizen & Misogyny
The characterization Aoi is given in Vrains isn't exactly subtle about how it wants to frame her, but I've had a fair share of ppl try to say the writing isn't misogynistic, and so to prove my argument here, I just figured I'd go beat by beat in her character arc and see what it points to.
Aoi is a character defined by her helplessness. Before we even meet her, she is made helpless. From the very beginning her struggle is about her brother trying to watch out for her because he's worried she'll get hurt- this isn't inherently a bad setup for a conflict or a character arc, I'm not say saying it is. But it's already starting Aoi off in a position where she is being protected, and any attempt to break out of that is considered selfish. We are expected to understand early on that Aoi is putting herself in circumstances she cannot handle by getting involved in the plot. And it shows. Before she even gets her first duel, Aoi is brainwashed. That's a new record, even amongst Yugioh girls.
The duel with Playmaker is, itself, fine. It's pretty well written and it allows the potential for future growth on Aoi's part. But it'd be wrong not to note that it's this situation that reinforces her helplessness and puts her in coma #1. Aoi is being controlled and is reliant on Playmaker to defeat her, and later, to save her. Her consciousness is wagered in the duel against Revolver, yet it always seems strange that it is. Yusaku's motivation for fighting Revolver is absolutely not about Aoi, it's about his revenge. Aoi is an afterthought. He's not dueling Revolver to save her, it's her needing to be saved that gave him the opportunity to duel Revolver. They have enough tension at play by this point to make Aoi's involvement irrelevant, the only contribution it offers is the occasional shot of Akira watching the duel.
I'm gonna mainly gloss over the duel against the A.I. and Akira vs Yusaku aside from noting a few things. Aoi defeating the AI is fine, it gives her a decent win. It's mostly a result of being on Playmaker's side, and it's not really a significant opponent, but it's a meaningful win if it establishes a new character shift. Which I'll go on to establish it doesn't do. Aoi reaching out to Playmaker and wanting to know his story would also be meaningful and relevant if it went anywhere, but 50 episodes later she still doesn't know Playmaker's identity and had to be given another connection to the lost incident bc her relation to Yusaku was that weak.
So in any case. Aoi awakens from coma #1 and is determined not to be weak anymore, and decides to fight for the sake of others in her duel against Vaira. This is the ONLY relevant win she ever gets, and the one everyone seems to love to parade around as if it proves the rest of her losses don't count, or that I'd be the misogynistic one for ignoring this win. This is ignoring, however, that this duel was part of a series of duels building up Aoi, Yusaku, and Go as they ALL got their own respective Knight of Hanoi to defeat in order to bump up their characters. Go and Aoi hadn't done much by this point, and if they were meant to be Playmaker's partners, they needed something additional to build them up. This one win can't be counted as any more significant than Go's win against Doctor Genome or Yusaku's win against Faust. I like these episodes, I like the way Aoi is written in them and I LOVE that she gets to be the hero. But it's disingenuous to imply this single instance of winning dismisses the following assault of bad writing.
As part of her decision to fight for others, Aoi sympathizes with and even tries to save Specter, who by all means she should have every right to hate. In a twist of backwards development, he gets to win, so that he can have a hastily-constructed reason to duel Playmaker instead, making her the only one to lose to a minor villain out of the party. This duel is riddled with Bad Stuff so much so that I don't even feel a real need to touch on it. The main thing of note though is that the annoying plant man's arrogance comes from the fact that he sees everything coming, nothing surprises him. He gets to be in control the whole time, guiding Aoi along as he mocks her. She is helpless from the beginning of this duel. Whether or not you'd like to claim Specter specifically is a well written character is it's own argument, but necessary in that conversation is the note that any development he gains is at the expense of Aoi. She is an expense in this duel, a sacrifice to give Yusaku one more big opponent before Revolver. Enter coma #2. The Tower of Hanoi arc ends and everyone comes back.
Season 2 is when all the character transformations happen, and for Aoi, each one is just a big neon sign of her imposed weakness.
Blue Angel becomes Blue Girl. This is meant to be a big moment on Aoi's decision to fight in a new way and improve herself. She talks abt improving her deck and becoming stronger. In the episode literally titled "Blue Girl's First Duel" she loses to Soulburner and does not duel again before her second transformation.
This strange, confusing and ultimately pointless transformation doesn't last long, as soon enough she encounters Aqua and suddenly remembers Miyu.
Enter Blue Maiden. NOW we're supposed to understand that Aoi has ACTUALLY matured, for real this time, we promise. Now she's fighting for her childhood friend's consciousness, she has the plot-armor of an Ignis, and a new deck. She is framed alongside Takeru and Yusaku as a main protagonist. She's even being called a victim of the Lost Incident now, albeit secondhand. It seems that while she was put through the wringer, she's at least finally been given the chance to shine.
Several Yusaku, Takeru, and Blood Shepard duels later, Blue Maiden finally gets her first duel. A speed duel against Haru. She wins. Hooray, she beat a relevant character, and all it took was a completely new deck and 2 transformations! Sarcasm aside, she naturally couldn't lose here. You can imagine Marincess debuting only for its user to immediately be killed off again, and to top it all off, this is before the killing game of late season 2 begins. They're saving the deaths for that. But on the bright side, Aoi gets a win to show off her new deck and new resolve, and it has the handy side effects of taking care of Haru and giving slight motivation to Bohman.
But now Bohman is here, and he has to defeat literally everyone except Playmaker so we can have their 5th duel. Aoi is, of course, the first to duel him. He wagers the data for Miyu's consciousness in much the same way Revolver wagered Aoi's. Even with plot armor though, Aoi has to lose. Does it make narrative sense? Oh, sure. Can't have the big bad lose on the first big match. But if that's where your analysis stops, you aren't trying to think critically at all.
You have to understand the implications of these repeated losses. Aoi is given new resolve each time only to have it ripped away, and a random new motivation is thrust upon her as the plot demands it. She loses so Playmaker can clean up the villain she failed to beat.
And that is, of course, without even bothering to ask why Miyu has to be in a coma at all, why Ema loses so much and is being sidelined now. Whatever happened To Queen, after Go lost? The very few girls Vrains has bothered to write have very little agency. Aoi may get the spotlight among them, but she is highlighted only to be the designated loser, the one who tries her best and always falls short to show how dangerous the threat is. Whatever this may do to her psyche can be worked out by thrusting a new character motivation onto her. Next arc she'll once again care about becoming stronger, for the sake of some new arbitrary thing. She'll always be attempting to grow, with no success.
It's also worth noting that much of Aoi's suffering is to serve Akira's very lukewarm character arc. And you can ask yourself why Aoi has to fight for her brother always, or later on her childhood friend, when Yusaku gets to fight for himself. Aoi is almost always fighting for the sake of someone else, but the answer is simply that this is a byproduct of what Aoi has had to become. Continually fighting for herself is redundant if she can't win the way Yusaku does. She needs a new reason to reignite her flames of passion so that her drive to get better won't go out. Yet it will always fall short, each and every time.
Aoi's character is defined by helplessness and desperation as she struggles against forces that have already decided she is worthy neither of victory nor even basic respect.
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Unpopular character you love? (not hoshi)
The saltiest cracker you know is me, Bepsi!23. Unpopular character you love?
Ah SHOOT. YOU TOOK MY EASY ANSWER. JERK ! Meanie !!! U big pizza slice !
aababbaa but! I do have one I really wanna talk about!Under the cut you see, for I ramble a lot.
- Hifumi !
I love him man.There’s so much about his character that’s so relatable and lovable to me. I think that’s why DR1′s amazing theme of “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” really comes on in with him. On the outside he looks like as one would expect of a gross anime fan. Fat, not attractive, pretty gonk-y, speaks all fuckin over the top like an anime, so on and so forth. But it’s when you learn about him that really makes him super fucking amazing.His past is like, something that I can relate to myself in a bit. As someone that ‘became a bully to stop the bullying’ and stopped when he could like… find enjoyment and fun in an anime character and put all of his effort into that instead. He’s drawing because he shows appreciation for her, and that’s super sweet. And quick tangent before I continue, but “he only makes hentai” is a bad argument. Like, he does and I ain’t gunna vouch that he doesn’t but lots of people do. What’s wrong with it? Like, is it a crime to make that stuff??? Clearly not if Doujin creators are a big deal in Japan, able to have hour long lines at their stands at conventions, with people willing to purchase their merch with devoted fans. Like, ppl are so quick to demonize sexuality it’s CRAZY.
Anyways, back on topic. He’s got a great personality. He’s like, a bit of a stuck up jackass when ya first see him, but it’s the later interactions that just really sell it for me. He’s got some of the FUNNIEST lines in my opinion, between saying that his punches towards Ishida will go faster b/c he has no arm hair so there’ll be less wind resistance, or his numerous anime and videogame quips (”rebooting my devices; please stand by”, “You haven’t reached that point in our friendship! You don’t have enough friendship points to be asking those questions!”, “If he tries that (in context it’s mondo going to attack monokuma) Oowada Mondo-dono’s health will go to zero!”, “the whole anime plotline for the first episode outside the trash room”, for a few) are all just absolutely stellar to me. He’s unabashedly awkward because he’s just so confident in himself and what he loves, and it makes me happy to see him so enthusiastic!
Speakin of that, let’s go more into it!!He’s so passionate about himself, and just has a gay ol time doing everything. It’s absolutely amazing honestly. His speaking is just so energetic! He’s so happy to do what he does as an artist and I absolutely love it! It’s almost inspirational, that he can be so unabashedly confident and happy about his skill, and it shows just how much love he puts into his art. And real talk here, but Hifumi isn’t even that much of an asshole. Like, people make him out to be some kinda monster, when that’s absolutely not the case. “he killed Ishimaru though!” yeah, because Celes lied and said that Ishimaru sexually assaulted her, took what would be at that point Hifumi’s close friend, and said Ishimaru planned to kill him and probably everyone else. Like, murder is still wrong, but he didn’t do it because “oh celes asked me to”. He did it for his sense of justice- in that he hated to see someone like Celes be hurt. : / don’t diss my dude for tryin to protect a friend yo. His spats with people are less mean spirited and just more fun and lightheared dickery. Like, when you crack shit with your friends. He picks fights, but it’s never out of malicious intent. It’s like having a good time or trying to lighten the atmosphere, albeit in his own goofy anime way.Even in Chapter 2, the spat he has with Fukawa in the library over literature and doujin isn’t as aggressive as it prolly should be. He takes most insults with stride (unless they insult the 2-D works of course!!) and it feels a lot more like a cliche anime rivalry (esp. when he says shit like “you are my ARCH NEMESIS, I can’t make you tea!” when Fukawa asks why he only made some for Celes). At least, that’s what Yamada thinks.
He’s confident, which a lot of people always like to assume makes someone a dick or feature it as a negative trait rather than a positive one, when it can go both ways. Hifumi being able to have such high standards that he openly admits to not reading other people’s works because he can just write a story he wants to see himself can be considered narcissistic, but having the confidence to sell his works starting from high school (prolly when they were more pg and ‘fade to black’) and get over 10,000 copies sold is something to be proud of and I’m glad that he is! It’s a stigma that artists have to hate themselves, or suffer for their work, but I disagree. When an artist is healthiest and happiest in their mind, that’s when they make the best work. Vincent Van Gogh made the Starry Night when he was in a hospital getting better for his depression and mental relapses after all. Hifumi’s not fit, and he definitely has some areas where people would consider him unhealthy such as his eating habits and whatnot, but he also focuses on being happy and being himself as a first priority. He eats because he enjoys it, and remembers to have all his meals. He does what he likes without actively hurting others, because he just enjoys doing it, and he loves to promote his favorite anime character. He’s a dorky geek that says shit like “swag” and fuckin says “i forget not everyone is as savvy as I am” which is just so fucking amazing to me it’s both hilarious and fun.
Also haha, the fact that he’s making Doujin from a character who’s overweight is kinda nice to me, because she’s not a “conventionally attractive” anime girl with big titties and a small stomach; she’s chubby and different, and I think that’s nice to show what Hifumi’s interests are as well as what anime really means to him. It’s not just about getting his rocks off, it’s about the fun and enjoyment and the feelings that anime can give you and what your mind can do. It’s why he had a dream about going on a date with a magical girl, the kinds of characters who inspire friendship and happiness, for fucks sake. When he was lonely and had no friends and became a bully to counteract the way people treated him, he found something that would be there for him, and he wanted to support it ever since. Which is a powerful and very overall positive message to give people.
But he has great messages too. Messages about being able to be yourself and have fun, no matter how “dorky” or “lame” your interest might be to others. He encourages people to have fun in their own ways, even if he wants to promote Princess Piggles, with lines such as “what might be boring to me might be another persons moespiration! With that in mind, look for your own!” and “In a sense, a geek is like an expert. That’s right, a total expert! A successful musician must necessarily be a music geek, a good movie director is a movie geek. You see? It’s those experts, those geeks who open up the world to others!”. It’s positive and nice, and it forms who he is as a person.
No one’s perfect, and neither is he, but he’s pretty damn good. And I’ll defend him with every fiber of my being for just how real he feels.
I personally believe it’s because this fandom has a definite bias against male characters that aren’t distinctly attractive, as you can see Hoshi gets ignored quite a lot compared to all of the other males (even being the ONLY male left out of the halloween drawing!! Let alone he gets left out of most fan merch.) and he’s honestly one of the most down to earth and downright cool dudes in DR. I don’t want to change either of them, because I think their looks only make it better for their backstories and who they are as characters! So even if Hifumi gets like no fanart, and Hoshi struggles with getting new content, I’d rather have them the same way they are now, rather than make them attractive. Because I think that the way they are, only makes them better.
And that’s my short version essay on why I think Hifumi’s super rad and more people should give him a chance. Of course he’s a very hit or miss kinda person with his comedy, but if Tsumugi’s obscure anime references were fun for you, then Hifumi’s really good too! ^p^b
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gldtarnish · 6 years
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the loveliest angels make the cruelest demons. 
 — ✧ that looks like ROSALIND SNART! they’re the TWENTY SIX YEAR OLD DAUGHTER of GOLDEN GLIDER. [ they are also a SKATEWORLD ROLLER RINK EMPLOYEE. ] i hear they’re INSIGHTFUL & TACTILE, but tend to be MANIPULATIVE & SARCASTIC. her file says that her power is ASTRAL PROJECTION & INTANGIBILITY.
stats.
pinterest.
            some people’s stories are written before they are born:    sometimes, being born on the wrong side of the track can feel like a noose around the neck, not yet tightened.
    your father is never in the question; it could be anyone. you had your money bet on another rogue, but every time you asked your mother, she’d simply reply with a side smile and a half shrug.   she’d always say,    ‘ fathers aren’t worth the trouble. ‘      you just nodded your head.
lisa tried to be a good mother ;    loving her daughter dearly, doing whatever she could to protect her pride and joy.      to give golden haired rosalind the childhood that had been robbed from her.   unfortunately,    as a super villain -- that was easier said than done. lisa tried to go straight for a while, but the duo struggled to keep their head above waters, and the more lisa began to dabble in thievery, crookery, and straight up villainy, the more she learnt if you loved something you have to let it go. and sometimes, that constitutes putting your kid in the foster system.      or, she was partially.               it was an initial attempt to give rosalind a better life; a different family name;   it lasted roughly a year in the foster home, occasional visits from her mother every now and again to check up, occasionally having other parents come to see her to see if she would fit. but every time a whisper of a name. a statement would be exchanged;    a  side eye glance and a sorry expression as the parents moved on for a less ‘troublesome’ canidate.
the last ditch effort ; sending rosalind to gotham academy.  if she couldn’t get a new shot at life, away from all the villainy,   than she may as well get a good education.   she got more than that; good friends, a backbone to her voice, as well as finding out how athletically gifted she was.
people dubbed her ‘the golden girl.’ though, she mostly thought they were just mocking her mom.  perhaps not straight 4.0 level, but golden hair, shimmering smile, and also the star of the lacrosse team and ice skating champion.    she was still a snart; but she actually had a future ahead of her. of an olympic athlete, or at least, someone who may be able to keep their head above the water.
friendly; lovely; wouldn’t hurt a fly unless adequately provoked; they got her far in life, a lot of connections, a lot of friends.    they didn’t get her that far in court however.  if anyone questions rosalind anything about ‘ the incident ‘ she is adamant that it wasn’t her ; that she wasn’t even near a bank, that she had a perfectly valid alibi, the facts didn’t add up on anyone’s side, but once you have a name on your back, it might as well be a target. a name was whispered, a theory was suggested, and it spread like wildfire through the audience that of course golden glider’s kid would be responsible. because villainy? it’s genetic. absolutely no good scientists would tell you that.  ( to this day, rosalind is still adamant the jury was bought up.  she would defend her innocence till air has forever left her lungs. ) 
the golden girl fallen from grace ;
 once again, a name was whispered, and the gavel fell. 7 years with the chance of parol on good behaviour.   it’s a heavy sentence on a 22 years old head. and she definitely didn’t take it lying down. but with nothing she could do to fight it, she realised there was other things she could fight instead. the government. heroes and the law and justice was make believe, so if they were going to send her to jail for doing nothing ? well, then she may as well break it in that case. she managed three extra counts of robbery ( all undetected ) before finding herself behind bars. she also found herself;     or more specifically, she found the one benefit that came with her name. super powers.
what she thought was just lucid dreaming and out of body experiences ? turned out to be astral projection, with a form that only people vibrating at a high enough frequency could see. suddenly, the wimpy little angel could fall from grace, straight to slumming it with the devils.   being able to covertly see and hear everything that happened ( whilst she was sleeping, at least ) gave her enough black mail material. ( at least enough to get her on the parole board. )
it took 4 years; but she made it on parole. they gave her either the option of effective house arrest, or get set up with a job at paragon.  she took the latter, and felt almost at home at the roller rink. it just needed a little chaos. 
her current status ?   :  legally, a law abiding citizen who works at the roller rink. and in actuality ?   a fledgling super villain, perhaps slightly without aim, but looking for the right people to get angry at, and a group of ragtags she can call her own rogues.
ok !!! that’s my girl rosa’s history !!! here r some bullet point tl;dr’s \
daughter of lisa snart aka. golden glider
cousin of axel snart
basically the same powers as her mum ( from prime earth !! )
she used to be the sweetest fucking angel ( always morally grey, but u know ), and now she can genuinely not give 2 shits and is just here to cause trouble for the sake of causing trouble. fuck the police coming straight from the underground
used to have a squad at gotham academy, which is where she started to learn to be edgy to fit in better. but she was very much ur heathers/regina george kind of ‘popular, but almost untouchable and could very much kill u’ kind of vibe. the people who seem flawless, the people that everyone wants to see crash n burn
was nikki’s cellmate ! the real ride n DIE’s
anyway WC’S! 
here’s the 1 i’m submitting to the main ! 
ROSALIND SNART, our HALSTON SAGE fc is looking for a HIGH SCHOOL EX’s connection who looks like PLAYER’S CHOICE, who is  29-23 YEARS OLD.  you DON’T  have to contact prior to applying at ( but if u want to @ gldtarnish ). ( any gender /   idea background is your standard high school relationship/teen flick, just your standard teens trying to live through a world of gods and monsters without falling off the track. rosa broke it off just before she got falsely accused of arson, breaking and entering, and arson. went to jail without telling them, and came back the exact opposite of the golden girl sweetheart she was growing up!!  )
also looking for ( and will be submitting when i get the fucking time to write it up ) FRIEND WITH BENEFITS ( current/ within the past year ! ) just emotionally fucked people lookin to fuck n mayb do some illegal substances/shit ! ( any gender - but rosa is male leaning bi)
also lookin for another RIDE OR DIE. ( someone who knew her since she was like 20, and totally believed in her and supported her thru the trial / whether or not they like her change in character ? )
ON THAT NOTE: in general, friends or people she knew growing  up / before she went to jail.    because damn this bitch could be an entirely different person.
also criminal buddies pls come n    . . . . . . . . .. .    be evil ? get that bread ????
those r my particular  i would love these fuckn connections but also loving: friends in general hero kids who side eye the hell out of her bc bitch what the fUCK someone who is the elmo to her kermit in this one video PLEASe.  also ppl who she hates ? u got a soft kid or someone who easily gets on someone else’s nerves ? ? ? ???? bitch step the fuck up n be ready to fIGTE. and also the person that framed her is also    open   👀 if anyone ‘s    👀 👀 👀
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crowned-ladybug · 7 years
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hmu with all the jackieboy man hc you got! im working on an art project and i need some ideas to go off of ^-^
Oooh, gladly!!
(Under the cut bc there’s a Lot and it’s probably not even all of them)
He’s tall as heck (second tallest ego after Dark, tallest of the Septics) and kinda lanky, suprisingly badly coordinated when not doing his hero-y things
He has a lot of scars from past fights and accidents. Also some birthmarks, and stretchmarks on his tighs, hips, chest and back.
He’s less “super muscular comic book beef-man” and more agile and wiry and yknow. built like an actual person
Never cared much for the green hair and let it go without any fuss (egos can choose whether to keep their hair colour or let it change when their human counterpart changes it too). He should really get it cut now tho bc it’s getting Long and Bothersome
His eyes squint a lot when he smiles and it’s v cute
When not in his hero gear, he just looks like a Big Nerd. He wears flannels (or giant hoodies) and glasses (the rim of which is the same blue as his mask) and is a p shy and v friendly guy. He also loves comics and his favourite hero is Spiderman
His mask is enchanted to substitute for his glasses
He doesn’t actually have any superpowers and the only superhuman thing about him is that he’s an ego and thus he’s more resistant to damage and way harder to kill than a regular person. He gets around via parkour and a grappling hook and fights using a “homemade blend of martial arts” (- Krista). He doesn’t like weapons (tho he has a knife for emergencies bc Marvin and Anti begged him to carry one), so the most he’ll do in that regard is use a pole/staff or utilise the advantages the environment gives him.
Stubborn as fuck sometimes and would probably bleed to death before asking for help bc he didn’t want to be a bother (Marvin keeps trying to get him not to do that. They’re working on it)
He’s trans and yet to have any sort of surgery bc he hates the thought of being out of comission during the healing proccess. Instead of T and birth control, he takes potions made by Marvin bc they’re cheaper, easier to get and more convenient. Their only downside is that they don’t stop his periods completely bc Marvin is too scared to magically mess with the functions of a whole set of organs too much for fear that he’d cause a lot of damage.
He’s gay (as in, proper full rainbow not just “not straight”)
He knows how to sew and to properly operate a sewing machine, bc he just found it an interesting and useful skill to learn. It came in handy when he made his suit mostly by himself (well, his current one. The first version was just cheap spandex) (Marvin did the magical aspect of things and most of the concept art)
Since he can’t wear his binder while out and about doing his hero things (bc one should never wear a binder while exercising!) his suit is enchanted with minor illusion magic to make him look flat-chested anyway. It also helps him blend into the shadows better despite his bright colour scheme.
He’s dating Marvin btw I just realised that I should probably mention that just in case. They live together in a Big treehouse (yknow the ones that are just. actual houses in trees) and both have their own room but still share a bed a lot
He likes to curl up to make himself comfortable or when cuddling and thus he can look deceivingly small
He’s a v insistent cuddler, even more so when he’s asleep. Even if he falls asleep not clinging to the person nearest to him (including anyone who’s next to him on the couch during a movie night, not just Marvin when they’re sharing a bed) he’ll grapple for them and gravitate towards them in his sleep and just not let go of them if he can help it
His favourite place to sleep is on Marvin tho and it’s highly beneficial to both of them bc Jackie gets his much needed dose of physical contact and comfort (and gets to listen to Marvin’s heartbeat as he sleeps, which is apparently p good against nightmares) and Marvin also enjoys the closeness as well as some good good pressure stims (and a lot of kisses)
Loves flowers! There’s a lot of plants in the house (and under it on the ground), and he knows the meanings of most flowers as well
Besides Marvin, he’s probably closest to Schneep but tbh he gets along well with anyone. He strikes up short-term alliances with Anti and/or Chase every once in a while to mess with Marvin (sidenote: Anti, Chase and Marvin are the Inseparable Disaster Trio)
Likes video games tho doesn’t play nearly as much as Chase or Marvin (or Seán ofc) do. He mainly likes story-heavy games or soft, light-hearted ones like Slime Rancher, but will play other games too for the sake of playing with his friends
His biggest fear is not being able to protect his loved ones from danger (let it be him being captured and used as leverage against them or them getting hurt directly). Another v big one is the idea that “you either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain” bc he obvi doesn’t wanna die young but he’d also never want to be the villain. In the end, if he had to choose he’d probably choose to die young
He has anxiety and PTSD due to the general traumatic events of being a hero, but he’s v intent on getting better so he takes his meds and tries to seek out help whenever he needs it
He’s v open about his thoughts and emotions and isn’t afraid to cry (and cry he does esp over movies. Also over TAZ when he listened to it with Marvin)
Has a big soft spot both for animals and children. He instantly got on well with Varjú (Marvin’s pet crow/familiar) when he entered the scene, and he adores Chase’s kids (who in turn adore their Uncle Jackie who’s an Actual Hero and always up for playing cool games with them or telling them stories)
He speaks French on an intermediate level, tho he’s p rusty. He could still manage if he needed to, probably
I swear he gets his life energy from positive reinforcement or something
Hates being the centre of attention for long (or amongst a lot of ppl) tho or being thanked too much for something he sees as a simple deed. He gets awkward and nervous really quick and will find the quickest way out possible
His bed is a big comfy double bed btw with like three blankets and okay only two pillows but at least ten stuffed animals (who are moved to a chair and the floor when Marvin also sleeps there, bc if not then they will end up being pushed off on accident)
He likes cooking and baking and bakes when he’s anxious
He’s also p good at drawing but unlike Marvin he doesn’t really pursue that hobby aside from a stray doodle every once in a while
Neither him nor Marvin can dance for shit but that doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy it
The later it is the more cheesy and sappy and Gay he gets and he rambles a Lot. His pick-up lines/flirting/compliments to Marvin reach the level of coherence as those made by neural networks (if you don’t know what I’m talking about I highly suggest you look up those posts bc they’re Hilarious) but Marvin finds it v endearing
As a proper Tall Person, he sometimes teases others for being shorter than him and exploits his tallness (which includes him literally just picking Schneep up, who’s the shortest Septic ego, and just putting him aside when he’s worrying about something too much)
Absolutely the Mum Friend sometimes
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yuzuria · 6 years
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for 1, komahina, pekozuki, kirizono and for 2 komaeda and kirigiri. sorry if its too much;;
not at all!! i appreciate spamming me more, thank you oliver~ ily
001 | komahina: (i’ve had this meme before and answered this but i’ll do it again and see if some stuff changed hehe)
when I started shipping it if I did: a lil after dr3 ended and i fully got back in dr fandom after 3 years o(--(
my thoughts: always the first spot in my heart, i always rant about them in twt and i don’t think i can ever fully convey what i feel about them but they’re the most canon ship i’ve ever had and it gave me fulfillment ha ha ;;;
What makes me happy about them: all of their interactions are significant and sheds light on each of their development, komaeda continues to push hinata forward even after his death and meanwhile hinata destroyed komaeda’s toxic worldview and mind you, didn’t give the hope to komaeda but made komaeda realize the hope is within himself and overall their rship conveys such a strong message. komaeda may not be the one who made the final act to make hinata move on and face their future but he’s the one hinata’s with in that future 
What makes me sad about them: facing the other is like facing oneself and their flaws which makes this ship really complicated because they argue a lot even if that’s the process to becoming better people where komaeda’s pushed to stop accepting what comes to him and learn to change himself while hinata needed acceptance within himself, but because komaeda offed himself their rship ended rocky like a broken wild rollercoaster and it was thrown over and we’ve seen how much komaeda’s death affected hinata because hinata only thought that he wouldn’t see komaeda anymore after the killing game over not because he died, what makes me sad is this complex exploration will always be limited in the fandom bc people will see it as abusive or unhealthy or for yaoizz sake from either haters or fans, it’s sometimes sad to be in this fandom and see all misinterpretations and hate all around but ha ha #justfandomthings
things done in fanfic that annoys me: the ridiculous fanon characteristics, you know what are they, too many to mention, i hate most of their interpretations im a really cranky grandma as a result with fight or flight response to their content online
things I look for in fanfic: rn i want more tdp
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: the people i dont mind for them are already dead (matsuda (which in my heart is komaeda’s canon first love) for komaeda  and natsumi for hinata) 
My happily ever after for them: dr3 sucks but they already have the happy ending i could ask for, just... hopefully they came to terms and closure from the simulation and are in whatever situation they think best for their future, not even me can dictate it for them
who is the big spoon/little spoon: hinata/komaeda
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: having dates in animal cafes...like cat cafe....dog cafe..hedgehog cafe... *sobs*
001 | pekozumi
when i started shipping it if i did: has it been last year or early this year i cant recall
my thoughts: they both have a problem being selfless and looking out for others over themselves and i think it balances out if they’re the one who looks out for each other... 
what makes me happy about them: their tdp is so good!! koizumi taking a picture of peko smiling and making peko realize the things that make her happy is so pure.... 
what makes me sad about them: we didn’t get to see a resolution with you know... “i killed you for my master who killed your former girlfriend who killed his sister...” 
things done in fanfic that annoys me: it doesn’t exist
things i look for in fanfic: ANYTHING
who i’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: nope, their major ships are lowkey my notps so no thanks
my happily ever after for them: i want to see them explore the world together, koizumi taking pictures of smiles as the world is being rebuild while peko looks for her own happiness recovering from her attitude with seeing herself as a mere tool
who is the big spoon/little spoon: they switch
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: koizumi learns to love taking selfies only with peko bc they make embarrassed faces but they think the other is v cute so they do it often
001 | kirizono
when I started shipping it if I did: also in 2016, i saw them beside each other and it shook me how blind for so long for not noticing them
my thoughts: tragic highschool sweethearts
What makes me happy about them: even though they didn’t interact once in dr1 we have enough idea how they would act towards each other, they both can read people well and are both reserved and dedicated to their talents and those are, but in their class pictures they looked close so i’ll hold on to that they were lovers before the killing game and sayaka died without them remembering it, also their one (1) interaction in tdp is precious,, they can read each other so well and are concerned for each other uuuu;;;
What makes me sad about them: they. didn’t, interact, AT ALL!! UNTIL TDP AND THAT UMBRELLA POSTER  SPIKE MADE. 
things done in fanfic that annoys me: i havent read much but from what i’ve read eeee it’s fine but not my flavor (i want more angst and more mundane situations...)
things I look for in fanfic: non despair au where they go in adventure and fall in love, hpa days where they fall in love, when kirigiri remembers their hpa days and grieve, au where naegi dies instead of sayaka and she becomes the protag (i’ve had this idea before drv3 okay)
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: non
My happily ever after for them: kirigiri holds onto sayaka’s memories and doesn’t marry/have a relationship with anyone (fuck naegi) until she dies and reunite with sayaka..... or sayaka lives... pls LET SAYAKA LIVE I’M CRYING SO MUCH 
who is the big spoon/little spoon: switch
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: card games
002 | komaeda
how i feel about this character: my dearest angel
all the people i ship romantically with this character: hinata, matsuda, kamukura im trash
my non-romantic otp for this character: sonia, kirigiri, kuzuryuu, koizumi, amami
my unpopular opinion about this character: komaeda isn’t gaga for kamukura because he’s the embodiment of hope and talents, it’s quite the opposite lmao, komaeda believes in natural-born talent and the will to make it flourish and improve which kamukura neither isn’t so it’s so so so boring when people only thinks of kamukoma this way, komaeda is capable of hating kamukura, in fact he’s more likely to hate kamukura than love him because of his passive listless attitude despite being capable of turning tides
one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: what i wanted in canon already made magi happen so i don’t expect much anymore bc kdk isn’t the best person wrapping up his characters that’s why it’s so convenient 60+% of his characters are dead
my otp: hikoma
my cross over ship: komaeda/amami for that fwb au i have... also platonic komaeda/tae (gintam) where they cook together and make everything on fire
a headcanon fact: komaeda’s first love is matsuda, komaeda’s house/mansion isn’t empty but rather have a huge well-kept collection of his eccentric tastes and things he got via his luck and remember each story behind them, how many people was caught up with his bad luck or what he experienced
002 | kirigiri
how i feel about this character: my bestest girl
all the people i ship romantically with this character: sayaka
my non-romantic otp for this character: komaeda, dr1 girls, sonia
my unpopular opinion about this character: ppl barely talk about her so idk what’s unpopular or popular... maybe i just don’t see naegiri as a romantic thing or tonaegiri as a trio
one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: be an actual good character in dr3 like who she is in dr1
my otp: kirizono
my cross over ship: no
a headcanon fact: she rides a motorcycle
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Episode 2 - “Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk” - Joshua (through Autumn)
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I hate flag-making challenges. I will not be helpful at all, and I hope that someone else can take the reigns and lead us to victory. I honestly feel safe going into a tribal council, but I do not want to test that theory.
Next morning
With Chips and Jules working on the crest designs, I feel confident that we will do well in the challenge. Maybe not the best, but definitely not the worst. I still have the same anxious feeling that my tribe is not active enough for my taste, but I will just have to live with it for now. Besides, at least this is not immunity because that we increase my anxiety by so much. But, I keep forgetting to search the idol hunt which is my bad, but it is just so hard and long that I do not really feel like searching all the time lol
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ART CHALLENGE <333 i love these challenges. Jess made my picture 110% better and its super cute. The note that she wrote with it is also hella cute and I love the whole HP aesthetics bc i never got to go to real hogwarts ;-; but i'm sure most of yall can related. The boys weren't too helpful but nick was better than jacob who is sick. Nick was way more active aka jacob said 3 sentences the entire challenge sooooo…. if we lose idk I might just save jacob anyways bc pregame relations.
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Won reward, but now we have to win immunity again. I really hope that this reward helps us continue to survive. I don't want to have to vote anyone out. We've been getting first, but I really just want to survive this challenge, its known to be hard.
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I think I have been stuck with the second most challenge inept tribe in the history of my ORG career. I literally said so many answers in my version of the story and Jules just fucked it up. And then they got the girl's name wrong. And then they started mixing up characters. I know I did well, but fuck these people. God. Now we need a tribe to get 0 which is very unlikely. I will just resign myself to tribal. I hope and pray that these people have some common sense and do not want to vote me out
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Listen. Listen. Listen. I dang knew this story was going to be Harry Potter based. I knew in my brain and in my heart that I shouldn’t have been the one to start that thing. What do I do? Start the dang thing. Oh well. We did alright. I would be shocked if we won tho but if we don’t I’ll be relieved. I def don’t feel confident enough but I really had a lot of fun with my tribe. I really miss this and really hope that my time isn’t cut short! I feel really good about my tribe mates sincerely. And that’s kind of scary! I would hate to see any of us to go and how it’s going to affect the bond we have if we vote someone out. In this moment with Max sitting out, it may be him who goes if we go to tribal. I hope that isn’t the case. I’ve got my fingers crossed for us. Huff Puff strong!
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Honestly Jules dropped the ball sis!! But it’s okay, I love her. She’s really nice and I know she tried her best. Plus she’s in an alliance with me and Owen, so we should have the numbers against Joanna or Miguel if we go to tribal. Personally, I’d prefer Joanna to go. She’s kinda domineering, but she’s also an asset in challenges thus far. She is organized and direct. I’ve also talked to her a bit more than Miguel, so I guess I don’t really care who goes.
I’m happy I didn’t fuck up the reward comp and the shit that I drew got us a win!
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I really hope I don't bomb that challenge, I answered everything that Kevin talked to me about.... I think!  The rest of them tried very hard but I am SOOO glad that I asked to do my part at the end because my memory of repeating things is horrendous but I'm usually pretty good at bullshitting test answers... too bad I got some of the multiple choice stuff wrong.
I think that if we do lose I am still in a good spot on this tribe and hopefully I won't be in danger.  I feel like I'm on everyone's good side and Max kind of just disappeared so maybe we could just vote him out this round? Idk.
Hopefully we don't have to worry about it.  I smell a swap coming up pretty soon and I just hope I'm either with Owen or with some of the people from my tribe.  I have no idea if they know anyone or are close with anyone in the other houses.
I'm still feeling the closest to Lily and Kevin but I have been talking to Landen a good bit too these days so hopefully we'll be safe or we can all just agree on Max.
16 minutes later
OOOOOH IS LANDEN PAVING THE WAY FOR A MOVE TO SEND MAX PACKING???
He just told me that me, lily and kevin are precious angels that must be protected and that he likes Max when he's around too so that sounds like something... HMMM...
I can't get cocky, I always go home when I get cocky. But I like this.
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my host chat saw this first (shout-out to Drewie and Dennis): Y’all I’m an idiot. I thought I only knew 2 people in this game (Owen and chips). Then I remembered I also know Jess, Autumn, and dan. Literally love and respect each of you my brain just don’t got the strongest memory no more. I’m so sorry!!!! I literally just told landen I only know 2 ppl. I’m just gonna try to not remember it happened.
Ugh.....I need to get it together.
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I love my tribe talking to each other now that we have to!! Everyday I'm like damn either I'm on the bottom or I'm not the only one with piss poor social game. Ok so... the moment the hosts said we got 1 point, I started getting ready for tribal lmaaaooo. No sense crying over it either because all the tribes basically just had to show up in order to beat that
Like how could we not go to tribal with a score of ONE? That shit's embarrassing hahaha. That's like when your teacher passes the test back to everyone sitting around you but not you so you KNOW it's bad. But you know what? It's all good cause I'd rather us take the L now and get it out the way and we can all laugh about it cause losing won't be funny after long. The real question is: will Gryffindor do this the easy way or the hard way caaauusse we all know who the weakest link is. I just wanna see if someone puts two and two together without my prodding. Chips already said we voting together right and I'm like yes sir. There's no better place than being on the same page
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WE WON OMG!! Jules basically gave me nothing, which is fine, i understand, but i'm so impressed that we pulled that off. Absolutely killing these reward challenges really helps!
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"Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk."
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Tonight we learned Joshua is a feminist selfless man that I stan because he's volunteering to go home without me having to put his name out, which I was going to do. Like imagine if every guy had that kind of self-awareness, to recognize why he should be the vote and then embrace it instead of wreaking havoc. And wanting to see others succeed more than yourself? King shit! He knew when to hang it up and did just that. Like the number of times I've seen a vote get complicated for no fucking reason because everyone wants a fight to the death. Enough- I'm old, tired, and cannot exert too much energy at once. We got a long game ahead of us, not to mention quarantine. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Joshua. We need more players like you and I appreciate your service
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im back back BACK AGAIN with another confessional! not much has changed but a few updates for the sake of these being required :) 1. max has become even more inactive, he's not reached out to me personally since the first day and any time i messaged him after that he's sent me nothing back that i can build a convo off of, so we just have stopped speaking. Luckily this challenge only required four people and everyone else SHOWED UP!! or at least spoke about their availability, while he did not. However in his defense he said he was having some issues at home and i feel for him but his inability to connect has been an issue before he spoke about anything in our tribe chat with us. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but this point my relationships with the other 3 are leaps and bounds ahead of where I am at with Max. Maybe he can pick up some speed if we continue winning challenges but, it's not looking too hot. SPEAKING OF CHALLENGES, well first we lost reward AGAIN, but we won immunity.. AGAIN! thank goodness for not being first or second boot, i always love being able to avoid these early tribals and if i can get to a swap without seeing one that would be ideal, but also if we do go and maybe vote out max? wouldn't be the worst thing. Moral of the story we won and thats exciting! however.. if we didn't.. the first big push of strategic talk came up with landen when he hinted at being frustrated with max's lack of presence which I also share. I do believe if we lost me and landen could have most definitely picked up ruthie and lily to form a four against him, if he even came to tribal. That would be my ideal situation and if we continue on this tribes hopefully it gives me a nice cushion to fall on if we do lose so i dont have to entirely blow up my social game within the first few rounds by voting out someone i've built a connection with. If max can go and the remaining four hufflepuffs can make a swap I would feel good about that, and maybe in the right circumstances we could work together on the swapped tribes because i genuinely like all of these people (yes max too but in this specific scenario he wouldn't be included bc... well..) anyways to close this off i still absolutely ADORE lily, she is fun and our conversations are really good, and same goes for ruthie, hopefully i dont have to see either of them or myself go home before we can really start playing because i think we could do some damage. :) ok anyways this was longer than i thought it would be goodbye
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I'm still not over the fact that I was able to answer 7 of those questions right. I have the memory of a plastic fork.  I also love that we are SAFE!
I do kind of hope things get spicy and we swap this round and become two tribes of 9. That'd be cute. I don't want VI to get bored and crack on me. BUT ALSO I think I have solid enough relationships with almost everyone on this tribe... so who knows?!
Also... these hoes really out here trying to search for an idol in PUBLIC. IN PUBLIC. WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?
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Dear diary, seems like we keep winning challenges, which is great but tbh i feel like every time i give a disadvantage to my team because english is not my first Language, and so far its been a vocabulary test and a listening and speaking test. I mean I knew I signed up for school but damn. Give me some macarena  or drinking tequila challenge and I'll crush it
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bippity boppity boo im back again with almost no content kdfasjhdskjfh
Ravenclaw working smarter and we keep winning, period!!! Thankful that y'all put Dan and I together....bc truly we will be unstoppable in these competitions. I kind of want to lose soon though to see how things would shake out, but I don't really have bad blood with anyone. Joanna seems passionate enough in the tribe chat and the challenges, even if she's dry in PMs. Miguel still won't give me anything other than a "how are you," but I hope the best for him in life lol
Still love Jules and Dan, and we made a three person alliance, but I haven't talked with either of them much one on one since it happened.... I really need to step the social game up eventually, but right now, I'm coasting, and maybe that's what I need before I find the time and resources in this game to strike!!
The idol hunt is hard but Dan seems onto something. Honestly he's gonna be a big threat sooner or later so he's sticking around as long as I can keep him! The last two games I've been in I've seen "goats" get dragged to the end and locked in final 3 positions, and then these perceived goats have ended up winning. so I want the big players in this game to rise to the top and fight it out in the end!
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let’s say i am como we dice.. fed up with a lot :flushed: a lot meaning joshua starting to get on my nerves a bit! he’s genuinely sweet n all but.. the way he complained about us losing by putting down others work HHH pissed me off. which is why i will be voting him out hehe.. but so far my misting has worked because no one wants to vote me out! mwah
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Slytherin killed the memory challenge. We thought we were all gonna flop bc all of us thought we sucked at memory stuff. um well we knocked it out of the park? Ravenclaw got 4 and huff/gryff got 1. We got 7 so oops. I do hope things turn out well for Gryffindor but no one I really know/care about is in that house so I'm not too worried. I hope they continue to lose or even hufflepuff since ravenclaw has 2 of my friends in it.
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I have been TERRIBLE with confessionals but only because there's really not been much going on? I have an alliance with Dan and Owen, and even though I wrote off Joanna I was DEFINITELY wrong in doing that. Miguel is sort of the outlier. Our team is kinda iconic though? We've done so well on all the challenges. I might be the weakest link? More to come.
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it's pretty sad but the whole tribe has agreed to vote max if we lose, basically he's just never around because of what's going on at home and like thats sad but... we gotta do what we gotta do *shrug*. I'm really feeling good about Hufflepuff moving forward, i've never bonded this much this easily with EVERYONE on a tribe and i just feel like if we keep winning or even if we lose and have to vote out max, we could be a great group for the future. especially i feel great about working with kevin, we dominated eve's game after eve came between us in 2020 that dastardly witch... :P (juuust kiddin. love ya!) but now we could totally do well in this game too i think.....
lily and ruthie are just so sweet and we really bond talking about pretty much anything,, especially lily is a great conversationalist and i just find it so natural to talk to them both. i'd love to work with any combination of people from hufflepuff in the future, hopefully i start sucking a little less at all these challenges. i think i did pretty great on memory :D
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So here is the summary of what has happened since last time
We had a reward challenge that was drawing. Mine sucked. Apparently 3/4 so no reward.
We played Telephone. My team didnt realize that details are the most important parts of that and didnt share then with Autumn so Autumn didnt share them with me. Then I didnt know them when asked about them.
We scored 1 point and lost. Since I still have no alliance I'm scared that it could be me. So I kind of got an idea how everyone was feeling.
Juls let me know she wanted to vote Joshua and- it's not me so that's fine!
Then I was talking to Autumn about it and - OOP! Josh asked to be voted out. So unless he plays an idol I'm supposing he is leaving after asking to go.
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woo my tribe won immunity!! we are safe! i’m glad bc i’m forming good relationships with ppl on my tribe. i think we all get along rly well so i hope we keep winning. the challenge was fun and i slayed bc i’m skinny mwah
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Ya know what’s refreshing? Being on a tribe that actually wins!!! The last three games I’ve played I’ve been on flop ass starting tribes.
Now we’ll lose every challenge
10 minutes later
This sickening bitch just found a hidden immunity idol!!!! Good until f6 L A D I E S!!!!!!
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HI BARBS SO I WAS GROUNDED SO I MISSED THE CHALLENGE BUT MY HUFFLEPUFF BABS SLAYED SM SO IM LIVING
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CONFESSIONAL 2.1 —
Not much strategy has happened this episode, just simply tribal bonding! We are SlytherWINNING, getting reward and immunity this time! How wonderful.
Regarding my tribe mates, I love all three. I pray, pray, pray we make swap, i do Noh want to be a dirty bad guy and have to vote one out.. yet. Haha.
I was drunk during immunity, one full glass of rum & coke, so I am shocked that we won immunity. Honestly, I feel silly admitting I was drunk to my tribe because... if I can do that when drunk, imagine if I was sober. Competition Beast, duh.
I also gave up my run this round for the tribe to use. Was partially social, partially I just do not understand how to do the Hunt, so I might as well help the greater good. Either way, it comes off positively.
Hoping for a smooth journey for a little longer!
x nick
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Joshue has basically quit at this point so I have no fear going into tribal
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tellywoodtrash · 7 years
Text
ishqbaaz 26.09.17 lb
“shaadi na ho gayi mahabharat ho gaya.”
bloody hell, good someone recognizes. this shit’s been going on for like.................. years.
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wow anika, utaaavli much? seedha elvis pose! 
waise good to see she’s anxious to get laid as well. 
LMAO EVERYONE’S REACTIONS:
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omki as usual, is the bestest. i love him so much. 
lol yeah sure anika. hella poor coverup job. 
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ugh these two fuckers. cut out the fucking cute and GIVE ME THARAK.
ok how many things today? ring ceremony, mehendi... matlab, 3 mahino se is bloody shaadi ko kheenche jaa rahe ho and now everything’s going to happen in one fucking day? fuck you ppl. 
OMFG ZAAAAAAAAAKIRR KHAN. I LOVEEEEEEEEEE HIMMMMMMMMM. HE’S ONE OF THE FUCKING BEST STAND UP COMEDIANS INDIA HAS. 
i’ve seen him live as well (his new haq se single tour), and he was absolute fire. he did the entire two hours without even a pause for water! 
some of my favt bits by him (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) it’s a little heavy on indori + delhi hindi slang, but if you’re fluent, you’ll love it. 
haaaaye, mere sakht launde ke kya din aa gaye, ke is chutiya show mein usse cameo karna pad raha hai. laanat ho tumpe star plus. laanat. 
pls, shivaay would never be friends with zakir. ever. zakir’s whole schtick is based on his middle class-ness and self deprecation about the chutiyaapa of life when middle class and average and not model-esque looking. now anika and zakir being friends, i can see. they really should have had him be HER friend. 
ok this shit is hella embarrassing for ZAKIR, so imma fwd. 
anika has fucking loooooooost it. 
invisible gauri is in charge of sangeet. (get well soon shrenu! i miss your face already, my little button!)
ohhhhhhhh boy, pinky. 
her complaints be fully legit though. 
wow, even om is trying to shush shivaay. 
dadi has fully forgiven pinky. even after suspecting her to do khulaasa of the oh so dangerous raaz and what not. idgi. 
anika is freaking out. like why though? they’ve gone through this wedding shit a million times. like... just get it over with, sis. 
the real crisis: “main pehnoongi kya??????????” 
hubs is here to calm her down. 
“AAPKA BREATHING GAYA TEL LENE. DO DIN MEIN SHAADI HAI, PEHENE KE LIYE KAPDE NAHI HAI, BREATHING THODI NA PEHNOONGI!?!?!?”
lolllllllll
khudi ke choice ko beautiful keh raha hai. usse bhi toh dikha. she’s the one who has to wear the damn thing her whole life. 
ouffffffff what is this stupid immature billu and bandariya fight???? 
ok that was a little uncalled for, shivaay. 
but i mean.... ok. i woulda done the same. chick was getting OUTTA CONTROL.
aaaaaaand..... every action has an equal and opposite reaction, so....
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“breathe shivaay. JUST BREAAAAAAATHE!” lmaooooo
time for some seski romancinggggggg. 
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uh huh honey. get itttttttttt. 
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sealed with a kiss! 
that ring is too big and so un-anika-like though. 
whut. where the fuck did she get a ring from tho???? 
and how did she conjure that shit up like a fucking magician? 
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billu looks like he might cry. i’m loving the whole reversal of the proposal trope!
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yo man my girl got some maaaaaaaaaaaad moves, and some hella alluring “let’s sex” eyes. billu can’t even handle it. he’s a weepy, gooey mess. 
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ouff billu why would you ask for one more kiss ON THE HAND? you and your damn hand fetish. 
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ok my damn heart is bursting from feelz. *weeping* my babies. my beaaaaauuuutiful babies. so happy and peaceful (in the moment. let’s see how long it lasts.)
ocd perfectionist billu is being a pain in the ass for the vendors. ek toh last se bhi last minute order, upar se nakhre hazaar. in the words of zakir, hatt behenchod... 
lol shivaaaay has a phobia of the words “thank you” now. he hears it and instant pavlovian response; thinks he’s fucked up and needs to start grovelling. 
lmao “(w)ow likhne nahi hote shivaay, wow ko mehsoooos kiya jaata hai!”
uh, you’re hindus. “vows” have been prewritten for you for thousands of years. you really don’t need to khapaaofy your sar over it? awaiiii ke chonchle during last minute wedding. 
HE’S WRITTEN HIS VOWS ALREADY. WHAT A NERD. 
ew what is this excited to share in front of whole family waali feeling tho? who are these ppl who like to exhibit their most private feelings like this? mera bas chale toh there’d be no one at my wedding other than the groom and myself. i don’t need ppl witnessing this nonsense. 
“are you staring at my lips?”
lmaoooooooooo him correcting her from offscreen. 
what the fuck even is this rudra scene???? like.... what even is this fastforwarding of their plot???? just yest they were in the guest house almost making out??? 
LMAO ANIKA ADALAT MEIN OATH LE RAHI HO KYA???
ok the first vow itself is setting her up for failure. girl you know you’re gonna call him baaghad billa before the end of the day even.
dude, just steal his vows. 
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EEEEEEEEEEEEE SAHILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL 
lolllll i knewwww it. she’s making sahil steal shivaay’s vows. 
WHAT FUCKING CONNECTION RUDRA
GOD BHAVYA WHY THE FUCK IS HE IN THE HOUSE RUINING YOUR BIG DAY 
there’s not even dosti between you two. he’s a whiny little pissbaby who’s not even worth befriending. coz he doesn’t get how men and women can be friends.
yup. he’s manhandling her. great. 
AND SLUT SHAMING HER. OMFG RUDRAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU’RE THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING WORST
that’s 3 outta 3 oBros slut shaming their future wives. great job, gulneet! keep it up!!!!
BHAVYA FUCKING HELL GET HIM FUCKING ARRESTED. GOD YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER GIRL; PLEASE, LOVE YOURSELF, MANAV IS SUCH A NICE GUY PLEASE JUST MARRY HIM
lol this tiny munchkin thief. 
aaaaaaaaaaaaand shivaay’s here. 
LMAO HE KNEW SHE’D TRY TO STEAL THE VOWS 
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omfg the vows are so damn extra, all tied up in ribbon and shit wtf
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ok i know this kinda comedy is laaaaaaame, but I FUCKING LOVE IT. also, it was nice to see shivaay in shark singh oberoi mode after a long long time. 
ohhhhhhhhh boy, shivaay gonna fuck her over. 
LMAO HIS LETTER TO HER: 
“wow anika. sorry, nakalchi bandariya. i cannot believe tumne apne chote bhai ko chori karne ke liye bheja, you cheater. apne vows khud likho, and remember it’s VOWS. with a V.” 
sahil sach mein bohut ekta kapoor waale serials dekhne laga hai. 
“aapki help ki chakkar mein meriiii integrityyyyyy pe question mark lag gaya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 
lmaooooo his dangal waali impression. 
“behen ki shaadi hai, bhai ko aur bhi bohut kaam hote hai, CHORI KE ALAAWA!!!!” 
lmaooooooooo omg i love sahil so much. petition to have him replace rudra as the youngest oBro, coz honestly i want to strangle rudra with my bare hands rn. 
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daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn omki, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind, OH OMKI!!!!! OH OMKI!!!!!!!!!!!! 
omki be all angsty at wife telling him to gtfo. good. 
god i’m so sad we won’t get angsty rikara romance during shaadi ki rasmein. i was soooo looking fwd to it. 
rudra fuck you to fuckkkkkkkkk. 
yes, for fucks sake make your utara hua thopdas better coz SO HELP ME GOD I WON’T LET YOU FUCKERS AND YOUR INSENSITIVITY RUIN THE BIG DAY OF THE ONE OBRO WHO ISN’T COMPLETELY ABOMINABLE RIGHT NOW. 
this weird angst is soooooooo killing my buzz. could you assholes just gtfo???? i really don’t care about your issues that you’ve brought upon yourself.
holy shit shivKara look so damn hot in black. i wanna spread them on toast and just nommmmmmmm. 
can’t even look at rudra with how much i hate him today. 
pinky looks nice. unhappy af, but nice. 
.... why are shakti and tej so awkwardly seated? 
ok, anika’s outfit... isn’t BAD... but isn’t GREAT either. but my girl so pretty, she looks fire anyway. 
i’m really missing more of a younger female presence in this episode, like gauri and bhavya and sumo.
(lol prinku who???? noone gives a shit. gauri has fully replaced prinku as the baby sister of choice. “sabse choti!!!!!!!!” shivaay yelled yesterday. like literally no one gives one flying fuck about stupid prinku who only added nothing but misery to their lives, as opposed to gauri who adds magic and happiness and sunshine and glitter.)
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heart eyes motherfucker. “wow” is right. 
i have the same question as shivaay: tote ki yaadaasht achchi hoti hai???? 
she’s gonna fly by the seat of her lehenga and fuck you upppppp billu. 
waise, why are the vows being read on the mehendi day, instead of the shaadi???? 
is baar mehendi mein kaunsa corrosive liquid hoga? 
aaaaand pinky’s going awff. 
shivaay’s wielding phone of tadi. and is fucking up whoever’s on the other end. 
“sab kuch pefect chahiye toh khud karna chahiyeee” bada dialogue maar raha tha. why didn’t you go out and get the mehendi yourself then????
bike pe kaunnnnn hai? is it that new dude? 
lmao mehendi ka wait being made so overdramatic. sit your ass down and wait, loser.
is new dude bringing the mehendi????? 
THIS FUCKER JUST RODE THE BIKE RIGHT INTO THEIR LIVING ROOM. LIKE.... HE HAS TO BE AN OBEROI FOR SURE. SUCH EXTRA CAN ONLY BE IN THEIR GENES. 
what the fuck were security even doing when someone RODE A BIKE INTO THE HOUSE?????? 
digging his leather jacket/skinny tie combo though. 
whoever he is, he cute af. can we replace rudra with HIM? 
“you’re the most beautiful, kind, wonderfully weird girl i know... tumhare saath bitaaya hua har lamha is like an adventure, and i just wanna be with you forever.” 
well damn. those ARE some perfect vows. 
20 notes · View notes
spockandawe · 7 years
Text
So you’ve heard Spock is the actual literal devil
Have you heard that I’m a terrible person? A plagiarist? Have you been told that I’m only into transformers at all because I wanted to make this one random guy unhappy? If you’ve been told that, you’ve probably also been told that a year and a half later, I’m still making fanworks just to upset him. You might have even heard that shhhh, don’t disagree with Spock on anything, or they’ll hunt you down and harass you.
Right, okay. This is one hell of a saga that I will attempt to tell in as compressed a form as possible. It’s a lot. Years ago, back in HS, there was this one guy who policed the hell out of one of the character tags. I’m going to call him C. He’d pressure people not to make the content they were making, decry the hateful people reading with a malicious eye who thought the character would ever do anything bad (the character was a creep). And because being obnoxious wasn’t bad enough, if you didn’t cave to his demands, he just might do things like start whisper campaigns about how you support rape, casually out you as a survivor, cute little things like that.
This is not a story about that guy.
This is a story about C’s one-time attack dog, eventual boyfriend, and current ex. We’ll go ahead and call him R. I’ve tried real hard to avoid namedropping on my blog before, but could people find him from this? Probably. Have I stopped caring? Absolutely.
TL;DR, unsubstantiated accusations of serial harassment are a little questionable when they’re coming from someone with a years-long, extensively documented history of serial harassment and a personal grudge against me.
Cut for length.
Edit 7/2/2017: R has posted that he regrets making these posts about me, and admits that he said things that were out of line. And he’s stated that he’s going to try to do better in the future. I genuinely, truly appreciate that. I’m leaving this post up because there have been lies about me floating around for a while and I reserve the right to defend myself, but I really do appreciate that.
Oh balls, none of this makes sense without backstory (I’m so sorry)
If you think I suck or my work sucks, that’s fine! You do you, go enjoy the things that make you happy.
If you think I’m the devil because this one guy told you about my evil, evil past and all my terrible misdeeds, without anything at all to back up his words? You can ask me. I don’t bite, and oh lordy do I have receipts.
To be clear, R is totally allowed to hate me! I don't care. I don't care if he hates my writing, I don't care if he hates me as a person. But now he's escalated to spreading lies about me, and people are believing him, and I’m not enough of a doormat to let that just stand.
And I’m going to cheat a little. Here’s a memo with the cliffs notes version (not the original memo, I made a copy with C’s urls cropped out since he hasn’t attacked anyone in a long while). Warning, digging any distance into this turns up violent fantasies, violent sexual fantasies, creepy interactions with a minor, and lots more, it’s all really, really unpleasant. Evidence is thoroughly documented, please tread with care.
You would not believe how truncated that is compared to the reality.
Now, the worst of this came via C. Who has calmed down a lot these days, and I’m really happy that’s the case. Good for him. I hope his life continues in a direction where he doesn’t find it necessary to do this stuff.
Lucky for me, R was standing by to pick up the slack.
It doesn’t show up as much in the memo, which is mostly C-focused, but R was standing by C this whole time, defending his right to spread around private information about someone’s abuse history, sending nasty messages on the other guy’s behalf, and much,much more. it’s long, it’s awful, it’s unpleasant. R personally hurt people in some significant ways that I don’t want to link directly, for their sake. He expressed deep remorse a few times, but it never stuck.
Here’s my personal favorite quote from R. He’s speaking to the CSA survivor that C casually outed (with information given to him in confidence), and who they’d been running a long, long whisper campaign against, and who was understandably a bit upset over the whole thing:
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oh go wank to your own tears [name]
#and get your sympathizers to help #nasty fucking people #maybe if you cry enough youll be able to go into second grade in the fall #ooc
Said, again, to a CSA survivor they outed and harassed. That person is such a sweetheart, and this screencap still infuriates me.
The first time I saw C pick a fight he had lots of friends. Shockingly, as he did things like loudly fantasize about how he wants to mutilate people and rant about how autistic people should die, those friends mostly drifted away. I know one person had a friend even help them stage a faux relationship-ending fight, so they could be sure they’d be able to completely cut and run from C. R stuck with him, though. Eventually they even started dating.
‘Spock followed R into transformers to harass him and stalks his favorite characters just to harass him more’
Then, transformers. Here, let me show you the first post (by R) that ever brought MTMTE to my attention. I spent years being aggressively uninterested in transformers, but this caught my eye
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and honestly, ppl (adults too!!!) shipping someone who has the mentality of a child and is quite glaringly lacking a world of experiences and general understanding of things outside of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, with an adult, is just. very alarming and gross to me.
and honestly, the fact that there is a large portion of people who want him to become romantically (and sexually!!!) involved with either one of two fucking adults in canon, and hell, esp those defending it with ‘hes an adult too tho!!’ is really gross.
you can pretend all you want that hes ‘an adult’ because his body is, but theres no way jro didnt intent to code him as a child. stop fetishizing children lmao,
#pedophilia -/-/- #cygate -/-/- #if someone comes at me screaming ‘rule 38′ im gonna shove them in a locker
I didn’t know transformers, but I was pretty sure this was some straight-up bullshit.
(but don’t worry, he ships it now! no hypocrisy here, no sir)
It’s “really gross” to ship this adult with other adults. Mm. Given the reasonableness of the claims these guys have made in the past, and given their extensive history of harassing people over those claims, I hopped to the wiki to check it out. I read a bit about the comic and the plot, and all of it sounded so fascinating that I just had to give the comic a try.
Reader, I married it.
I shotgunned MTMTE 1-47 in two days, started doing fanworks right out of the gate, and I’ve never looked back. A lot of my art was cygate, because come on, the comic wants you to ship it so bad, my first readthrough ended with issue 47, and that was the first ship I’d ever read about for the series, even before I dove in.
Now, both these characters punch me right in the heart, in some painfully personal ways. Tailgate’s the more relevant one here, but I don’t even know if I could do justice to the emotions both of them give me.
I’m still not a fan of how R’s lies about me have edged me into needing to say this in public, but okay. I’m developmentally delayed. It’s been a rough ride. And Tailgate hits me in some of those spots so hard it just takes my breath away. I’ve got a lot of baggage over not being a real adult, and not in the funny oh-no-how-do-taxes-work way, more like an extended months-long meltdown my first year of college because I can tell that my friends are years ahead of me and I don’t know how to even start catching up, and just existing, as myself, is humiliating.
All of my relationship milestones have come painfully, painfully late. The whole thing is still one awful emotional bruise. I hate it, and I hate how easy it is to convince myself that yeah, of course you don’t actually deserve to be treated as an adult and you never will. Just look at you. So then it is unbelievably important to me that I can see someone someone who is like me, being treated as a legitimate adult, and being able to have an adult relationship.
Hearing that shipping someone like me is essentially pedophilia is the opposite of that.
But he ships it now, so everything is fine :)
Yeah, you know what? Another fucking receipt.
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uGHGH im so tired of all the rabid cy// /gat// //e fans like even cy’s giving em a look like ‘leave my fucking child alone’
#i just #im hoping jro has some taste tho and doesnt make an adult date a child #and if not im hoping the outcome blows over soon bc im so tired of seeing people defend pedophilia #pedophilia -/-/-
Parental.
This continued even after JRO explicitly confirmed Tailgate was an adult.
Bonus ableism: shipping Whirl (another character who hits me way too hard) isn’t okay either. Even though there isn’t the excuse of ‘but he only lived three years--’ No, at that point, you’re saying that an adult who fails to adult correctly does not count, and isn’t allowed to have romantic relationships. It makes my skin crawl, and it is an issue which is very personally and directly important to me.
So some of my cygate was porn from the start (it’s what I write. it’s what I draw.), and some of the porn was made because I was upset over discourse that says someone like me needs to be treated as a child. I played with cywhirlgate too, because omg how could I not, and some of that was porn as well. It was ages ago, so I don’t remember the details for every little thing I made. But when I saw someone saying that Cyclonus and Tailgate had a parental relationship, I’m sure that helped nudge me in that direction. Maybe R thinks I should have channeled my emotions by starting a whisper campaign to exclude him from fandom spaces. But I think my way of working through bad emotions might have been a little healthier than that.
So when R accuses me of making cygate content to spite him? Half true. Just true enough to be real fucking dishonest. R spent a nice long time insisting that cygate was pedophilia. I channeled my outrage over that ableism into fan creations.
I didn’t attack him. I talked about him some – on a private forum, with people who’d already been aware of him and had been watching him and C hurt people for years, plural. I haven’t told people on tumblr any real details about him until now. And R still is happy to talk about how it was his toxic ex’s right to post torture/rape/murder porn vent fic about actual people.
Tell me, how exactly am I in the wrong?
Bonus pettiness: I posted some cywhirlgate porn. The next day, R vaguely whined about robot pedophilia and turned around and wrote some obviously-a-response cywhirlgate. Where it was super platonic and the text explicitly said it was super platonic and it even had platonic thigh nuzzling. With two “children” involved. Of course I turned around and wrote more fic of my own, because jesus h christ that made my skin crawl. You want to play this game? I guarantee I can write faster than you, let’s do this. (he did not follow through on that)
I’d also like to say that forgetting inconvenient little details like this is a thing with R. Hard to call me terrible for writing spitefic when you write it yourself.
A history of Spock’s personal involvement
Let’s backtrack a tiny bit. You may notice I am up to my elbows in this nonsense for no clear reason.
I was friends with some of the people C was taking shots at, and I was unfortunate enough to believe his original smear campaign about that one artist (I’m still ashamed about that). I cared about a number of people C was trying to hurt. I think one or two fanworks of mine upset him, but he already had loads of targets. I kept tabs on him and R, because anxiety is the gift that just keeps giving.
Eventually, C fantasized about wanting to put my former datemate’s hand through a meat grinder (ey wrote a fic that portrayed his fave in a negative light). And R defended his right to do that.
The person he posted about is still feeling the effects of that incident. I’m still feeling the effects of that. And it wasn’t even directed at me, just someone I care deeply about.
R has recently posted that ‘oh my goodness, C sure was awful, remember when he posted this thing about a meat grinder and how unreasonable it was?’ Thanks buddy, glad you noticed, now just go ahead and keep on blaming me for the aftereffects of what your boyfriend did, and what you defended.
After that, it was months before I could properly look away from either of their blogs.
C posted extensively about trying to track down the street address of his ~enemies~ (including the one whose genitals he fantasized about mutilating). He posted about how autistics should die. He had skype chats about wanting to do amateur brain surgery on people. All while posting very often about finding real addresses.
Yeah, it’s more than a year later, and every so often I get a stab of anxiety and have to head off to double check on what these two are up to.
I will repeat that C has been pretty chill lately. He’s got a career he’s aiming for. Good for him, go find success, please don’t slip back into being an internet bully. It’s sad and upsetting to see R echoing some of the early patterns of his ex, and it’s so strange to see me labeled as his own personal enemy.
‘Spock will totally come harass you too’ and/or various accusations of ableism
So there are some things I did in the mix in this history that I regret. Occasionally, I went out and flipped through the blogs of C and R’s friends, seeing if maybe they’d had said something in their notes, did they have any vagueblogs C liked, did they post about— It got unreasonable. I admit that. Anxiety was at the root of it, but it absolutely got unreasonable. And also it is a massive time sink, and I can’t remember the last time I bothered with it. I enjoy life much more when anxiety and paranoia issues don’t have their claws in me. This hasn’t been an issue in a very long time.
I came down hard on some of the kinfeels and system stuff too, which I do walk back a bit. C’s approach was… hahaha. It was something. And he was my intro to the kin and system paradigms. I saw R talking about C’s approach being unreasonable too, pretty recently. So that was an unfortunate bit of poison in how I processed the next people I met who did that sort of thing. I don’t do kin stuff, but I get it. And DID may not strictly apply to all systems, by the formal diagnostic criteria, but I’ve learned there are plenty of other dissociative disorders out there. And I met people who were multiples and who did kin things that weren’t these two guys. Which helped a LOT.
But the big one, hmmm. C wrote a fic. The idea was interesting, but the execution frustrated me. Everyone but the main lead felt so… flat. Everyone was constantly cruel to the main, for no reason. I saw a way to riff on the original text while staying true to its shape, and writing my bad emotions out is also a major, major thing I do to cope. Now, my big thing is that I should have asked before I remixed. I’d been thinking in terms of, y’know, transformative fanworks. Even with authors like Anne McCaffrey and Anne Rice, who fought against fandom, people have still felt that it should be allowed, even against their wishes. So I wrote the remix. I gave full credit on ao3 in the ‘inspired by’ box, linked to the original with positive words, the whole shebang.
The guy was still furious, and… that’s fair. I thought I’d written a thing on self-sabotage that was pretty sympathetic and compelling, and the self-sabotage actually drew a lot on my own personal history. But I gave the main flaws he strongly disagreed with, and I didn’t ask for permission. I get why he was/is angry over it.
I’ve been a fixture on their shitlists ever since :P
It’s remarkable, even while R posts now about ‘oh my god, remember how C wrote the creepiest things?’, I’m still the one who’s the the actual worst, for being skeeved out by the creepy things and finding a constructive way to deal with it. R’s controlling ex gets full freedom when it comes to vent fic, even when it’s about wallowing in torturing, raping, and murdering an avatar for a real person (the original one they harassed!), or punching someone in the face until they agree to be your friend (another artist these guys targeted). But R’s position seems to be that only C is allowed to vent (even if it’s genital mutilation fantasies), and I’m definitely not.
Oh, and R has now expanded this remix into me totally having a consistent pattern of stealing ideas and plagiarism and so many remixes that are obviously done as revenge on anyone who pisses me off. So that’s nice.
So R hates your writing. Is that seriously why this post exists?
Ha, no. Let’s look at the concrete things R is saying. Here, let me post a little sampling of evidence.
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These aren’t just things he’s shouting into the void, people have responded saying wow, I never knew that! These are lies that people are believing about me. And then yesterday, June 30, 2017, he warned a friend not to disagree with my meta, or I’d come harass them. A friend I’m aggressively leaving out of this, just as I’m leaving out other responses, because these people don’t deserve to be dragged into R’s bullshit.
Let’s have bullet points. Some of these are the silly spock-is-bad-at-writing complaints. Those are here because this whole mess is pretty fucking depressing and the ridiculous claims make me laugh, but these are all things he says.
Spock is evil – You know what, he’s not calling people pedophiles, which is a step up. I’ll take it.
Spock is a plagiarist – I remixed one fic with full credit, said only good things about the original, and linked to it in extra places so that people would have extra opportunities to click through and check it out. I arguably remixed inappropriately, but that’s not the same thing. Words have definitions. If I’m a plagiarist, so is everyone who’s ever written a fanfic.
Spock is something something mean when people disagree – I don’t even know, man. I’m actually shockingly conflict-averse. Is this because I make walls of text and explain why I hold opinions at great length? I enjoy talking about a thing I love. I’m autistic, I’m hyperverbal, and this is my special interest, so is it that I talk a lot? That’s the best I can do. I’ve talked about things I disagree with on a private forum, in which case mister pot has had a lot of fun in public on twitter, not only talking shit, but also spreading outright untruths. Maybe he wants to rethink this one.
Spock will come harass you if you disagree – You need to back the heck down, pal.
Spock’s meta/fic/characterization is bad and they should feel bad – Hahaha, fite me. He won’t, because I can articulately defend myself at significant length, and his criticisms seem to stop at ‘spock sucks’, but hey.
Spock used ableist language about Whirl - I... what? This one confuses me and makes me laugh so it stays here. Also, holy double standards, batman.
Spock is only into transformers to harass R – I checked out transformers because I was pretty sure R was being disgustingly ableist (he was). I stayed in transformers because I adore it. I had to adore it a lot to make me willing to share fandom space with these two. My god, I have better things to do with my life than spend all my time on something that bores me just to annoy one asshole on the other side of the internet. I’d ask if he thinks I spent dozens of painstaking hours cross-stitching Starscream just to bother him, but….. yep, pretty sure he does.
Spock goes after all of R’s favorite characters to upset him – R latches on to just about every interesting and/or sympathetic character that shows up. When he was dating C, they covered most of the cast between them. I don’t care who R likes best because I don’t agree with his opinions. I tend to stay away from his opinions because I don’t like reading things that bother me. This is asnine. I’m only allowed to like the characters R despises, I guess.
Spock makes fanworks for things R likes just to make him see them – Oh my god, I don’t caaaaaare. I write about things that interest me, unless I’m venting. Say, venting about the way R and his ex have deliberately hurt a shockingly high number of people I care about. ‘Spock made rodistar because I liked it--’ I made it because I wrote a thing about their parallels, and shipping was the obvious next step. R isn’t that important to me. Promise.
This is just exhausting, man. The anxiety bugs had been dying down, and it had been ages since I checked out this guy’s anything. C, who drove the whole initial blowup that led to this, has been quiet and chill on tumblr. But R has learned from his ex’s old example and has been having fun spreading lies about me.
In conclusion
Some fun history.
R was 18 when he told a CSA survivor upset about being outed and harassed to wank using their tears for lube.
He was older than that when he defended C’s right to post about wanting to mutilate someone’s genitals (for the crime of saying C’s logic didn’t make sense).
He was older than that when he complained about that person’s spouse being ‘vicious’ for reacting badly to C’s genital mutilation fantasy.
He was older than that when he nodded along as C called autistic people retards and said they should die.
He was older than that when he talked about being happy that someone he disliked was triggered, and nodded along when C fantasized about that person drinking bleach.
And he was older than that when he defended C, his twenty-something boyfriend, against the thirteen-year-old that C had been having incredibly inappropriate conversations with, despite skype log proof and everything.
And despite all this, I’m still the bad guy, because I didn’t think what they were doing was okay. I’m the bad guy for being upset by C's actions, even though... R is now upset by C’s actions. The ways I responded to C were inexcusable. My only motivation is to hurt people. Every thing I did that ever upset them still means I’m terrible, even though R is saying this while he’s busy posting about how awful C is. And this all means that he needs to warn his friends not to catch my attention, or I’ll come harass them.
So, I’m tired.
I’m very tired.
I’m glad he’s trying to grow past that history. Good. Maybe he can do that without making up a story about how I’m unrepentant villain who lives for villainy and who only takes joy in causing him pain. I’m sure it helps him, because it’s a story that brushes aside the shit he did that he regrets, and makes his past less painful to think about. But that doesn’t mean I’m okay with him telling lies about me.
I don’t know why I’m the one boogeyman he has left (I kid, it’s because I’m in transformers, and because he thinks I’m popular. he harps on it a lot, and it’s weird for everyone). I mean, whatever. I’ve aggressively avoided publishing drama details on here for a very long time. But there are two blog tags, miscellaneous other untagged blog content, three forum threads, and hundreds of pages of skype logs with hard evidence of this bullshit.
I’m pretty sure that if he tries to defend himself, one, he’ll place some blame on his ex. That’s fair. C was pretty darn controlling and demanding. But R is still absolutely responsible for his own actions, and is especially responsible for the harm he personally caused. He’ll talk about how it’s bullshit to pull up all these receipts from so very long ago. In that case, his receipts for me (whatever he even has) are equally old, so aren’t they null and void? No, because Spock is the devil. And it’s not so much bullshit if he’s clearly learned nothing, and has gone back to spreading outright falsehoods about people.
To be clear, a lot of the lies he told about me were told a while back. Weeks to a few months to a year. I was letting it sit, because I’d really, really hoped this was over. Yesterday, June 30, 2017, he warned a friend not to publicly disagree with my meta or I’d come and harass them.
It’s been three years since I first saw him doing this. I’ve watched him hurt a lot of people, and I’ve watched him admit, multiple times, that he has hurt people. I thought he’d learned to stop following these toxic patterns. Apparently he has not.
Edit 7/2/2017: To repeat the edit up above, R has said he regrets posting these things about me, and that he's going to try to avoid slipping into this in the future. I very much appreciate that.
117 notes · View notes
witchofdoom · 7 years
Note
can i have 14 for auralia, 1 for chi and can i also like drop the bomb completely and do 8 for ama
Them in an uncomfortable outfit
P a n t s. (God what’s up w/ my ocs and hating pants)
It feels weird having fabric just. SURROUNDING her legs and making it so hard to shift vs like a dress or skirt. Pants in general just feel super restricting too?? Since ~under the sea~ clothing isn’t really a thing since it just gets wet so the more fabric the worse it is minus on the arms. But even then she doesn’t like the longer sleeves either? Mostly tight ones just....get off my skin blease.
Them as a child
I LOVE THAT U SENT THIS FOR HER AFTER I GOT IT FOR AMA JUST....THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE END OF THE SAME BAD HOUSE.....
Chi has always been a go getter, even without the guise of her parents she loves the praise and competition. Not as stoic as she is as a teen/adult tho she would be enthusiastic about new things and learning and just planning so many things for the future...
She was definitely a model student and someone a lot of people looked up and went to for help. She was a bit cold to people but more in the sense of just being blunt with her words. Tho maybe that added to her ~Cool and Collected Senpai~ vibe
But of course with the ever so much a piece of shit bad dad her enthusiasm turned more into doing it for the sake of doing it/being a chore? Like she still liked the praise, still liked pushing herself, still liked learning but when only the best of the best was expected of you it just became....annoying. But she would never dare to say that or go against wishes of her parents because they were her family they were her guardians they were the ones who taught her and raised her they were in the right!!! Right? And. TERRIBLE AS IT IS seeing Ama be more compromised with what their dad wants kind of placed a fear in her to not falter...
Weird thing to mention after that but she enjoyed sports a lot too!! She was in track in her middle school years + some stuff on the side for fun and joined her high school’s gal basketball team when she moved. Ofc she left this behind for the sake of LAW but she’s always been athletic as a kiddo.
Their interactions with their significant other(s), if they have them
Holy shit I. THIS IS REVENGE FOR MY ASK H U H. Alright this is gonna be a long one...
Maybe not rly super on topic but? To start off this long train of rambling to say that. Ama sees Meti as a knight in shining armor is an understatement??? Like even saying he’s that AND her prince charming is not even close to how much he means to her like....in the weirdest of wording he’s just her snuggle bunny....like he’s him and she loves him and u ever think abt someone u love so much u cry that’s her 24/7 probably.
EARLY ON in their relationship/knowing each other in general was?? Awkward. You got shouty mcfight guy and I’m crying on the inside anxiety incarnate but it oddly??? Worked out?? Like maybe it was because shared interests??? Maybe it was how opposite their personalities were they ended up balancing each other out??? Or just how strange their first meeting was??? Maybe how (even if the methods weren’t. SOMETHING SHE CONDONED) she kinda admired people who didn’t take shit or confident??? or even something more!! (Or. something that needs to be specified/worked on more since it was like 6 years ago and stuff changed om g) But it was basically just these two, honestly very broken people coming together to create something new and fix all the cracks in each other along the way, despite neither of them really knowing that they were there to begin with? Or how deep the damages were.
LIKE AS MENTIONED BEFORE Ama was. Not a very social person?? And failed with the interactions that came with it pretty often like hell their first meeting she was probably quiet for 75% of it....And hell even as friends she was super quiet but like she cares for ppl so much it still kinda showed just from her expressions and actions and the few words she DID say. Quiet mom friend. She liked being around him a lot??? Like ofc she enjoyed the company of the rest of the friend group but just....even the simplest of things they did together?? The stupidest of conversations (or i/g early on more like him rambling since...tfw super quiet and also the added fear of not knowing a language 100% and accent) and just him (u kno when he wasn’t. KINDA PUTTING HIMSELF IN DANGER) made her heart go doki doki....Despite her denying and denying like no wtf ur horrible u don’t DESERVE to have friends or even a crush :/// thinking that like he’s gonna like u back smfh :////
After knowing him (+ friends) for a bit she did become a little bit more open?? Like in the friend way tho like she still hid her issues like hell. It was like before where she was empathetic to everyone and stuff just a little more friendly...still like ummmm EVEN IF THEY LIKE U NOBODY (meti) WOULD EVER LOVE U. She did kinda hold back bc of that just umm u wanna lose a FRIEND too u fuck???? (This. Stupid summer child.....u fool....) Once they got together tho she was actually kinda?? The same as before but instead of ummm it was more like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA///
I think this came?? A little bit after getting together but weird thing w/ Ama is that the closer u are to her the more she’ll actually speak up about things? Like her concern for you grows and she’ll put more of her own issues to stop u from doing fuck shit. So like she was still super caring and sweet but then the Mom Friend Attitude(tm) got mixed in a bit with that since. GESTURES TO METI, WHO FOUGHT PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE. And that probably kinda. opened pantrauma’s box of hell after a while of ‘ur gonna get hurt stop!!!’ just.....‘SOME PEOPLE??? FIGHT PEOPLE TO COPE???’ ‘wait what are u coping for-’ like that kinda showed that?? They trust each other enough to actually talk about this stuff despite not really realizing that?? Like...maybe not the root of the issues but maybe the mentality that lead to it and the start of healing for him?? Like she’s always been empathetic but it was something really new to just....see someone she cared about so much be like this and just wanting to help him....THO SHE HERSELF WAS STILL KINDA CLOSED OFF ABOUT HER OWN ISSUES AND TRIED TO HIDE THEM SINCE SHE DIDN'T WANT HIM TO WORRY AMA WHY...LIKE THIS IS STILL A THING EVEN IF WAY LESS...that sweet sweet abuse trauma I guess. She gets better with later years tho like with her feelings and even trauma at least but u h sweats at the medical issues that’s another story //horrayplz
Tries to....stay more vague tho bc this is getting long but like for the majority/still now she’s always been kinda dotting?? Like maybe not in a mom way now bc that’s weird but like in a spouse kinda way where she just wants him to be happy and safe and she def has gotten way better with speaking and is way more open about her concerns/feelings for him?? Like again with the balancing thing sorta she’s there to hold things back to make sure they don’t explode vs him who protects and maybe has things blow up just a little bit so it’s not brushed under the rug when something upsets her and will cause issues since she’s still super passive to things...But like her concerns come from nothing but a good place and just absolute pure love for him?
Also in terms of like affections she does like. Hold back a bit despite REALLY LOVING IT?? Like tbh it’s kinda rare for her to initiate stuff besides like hugs/hand holding/leaning against him and sometimes cuddling?? Morning/Goodbye/Goodnight kisses are smthing she’s more okay with doing too since it’s just quick and sweet and u don’t usually give a second thought to those....Even then she’s still so easily embarrassed like Ama blease you’ve been together for 6 years and in main verse ur married!!! Also god just in general she just....likes being near him or sitting next to him or laying against him and all that good stuff like her cheeks still kinda go redder than usual (bc fun fact!!! Ama’s cheeks are actually naturally rosy.) but it helps her relax and she feels so safe...HENCE THE WHOLE KNIGHT THING AT THE BEGINNING....
tl;dr bc god knows ppl need it: Ama just....loves Meti a lot. She cares about him so much and it’s a case of these two broken and lost people finding each other in such a cruel world and coming together to help fix each other while making something new along the way. She feels safe with him, she feels at home with him, she feels happy with him. He’s not her knight in shining armor, he’s not her prince charming, he’s not even her soul mate....he’s so much more than that he’s her snuggle bunny.
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