#i grew up reading harry potter books and i remember being so into them until like. late 6

[frostiifae]

tag commentary on posts is fun because i can change my mind whenever i want and only my mutuals would ever tell on me. and you wouldnt do that to me would you guys 🥺

[robin1729]

living in the moment ft. my dad

I have always had my head in the clouds, a little bit? I have spent my entire life lost in stories. It started with those magazines they have for kids. Champak, Magic Pot, Tinkle. Then it moved to novels for kids. Secret Seven, Famous Five, anything Enid Blyton really. Then Fantasy. Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl. Then as we grew older, the classics. Pride and Prejudice, Oliver Twist, Black Beauty. I was the kid who always had his nose in a book. In our substitute periods, my friends would be calling my name and I simply wouldn't hear them because that's how engrossed I was. I would be walking down the stairs with my head in a book and people would warn me that I am going to fall, and I would tell them (with a bit of pretentious snobbiness, I have to admit) that I had been doing this shit since I was 6.

Then came college, and like a lot of people I shifted to shows and movies. How I met your mother, Parks and Recreation, New girl. The same thing happened. My eyes were now always glued to my phone screen. I watched with so much concentration and watched the same things so many times I ended up memorising entire 9 season long shows. I started narrating movies dialogue-by-dialogue in front of my friends.

My dad didn't help either. He had to see every movie that came out. If too many movies came out in a month, he would bring pirated CDs for 50 rupees each and we would watch them on our tv. He would randomly come in his car in the evenings when me and my brother would be playing with our friends, roll down his windows, and say "Get in the car, we are going to the theater." Our friends would watch with childish jealousy as we just randomly up and went to see a movie. We wouldn't even check what was in the theaters that week. We would just get there and sit for whatever was starting in the next 15 minutes. I have seen so many sequels without watching the original?

Somewhere in all of this, I think I lost some sense of reality. I would be writing novels in my head. And no, not just outlines. I would be sitting on the dining table, writing them in my head sentence-by-sentence as I ate my food, mouthing dialogues that my characters would speak in the way they would speak them and not realise what I was doing until my brother pointed it out. That must have been creepy for him, to say the least. Suddenly I am 23 and life is more complicated than in any book, show, or movie I had ever read or seen. People on LinkedIn talking about the best investments and wanting to build careers and customer service strategies and I find it so hard to care sometimes??

Why can't I just be happy that my friend Hagrid has come back from Azkaban where he was wrongfully imprisoned for being the heir of Slytherin and that Gryffindor has won the house cup again? But noooo, I have to make excel sheets, and powerpoint presentations, and think of the best way to automate our processes. The real world is so, so boring.

My dad, somehow though, lives in both these worlds. He still watches every hindi movie and show that comes out. But never gets too attached. He really just watches them for simple entertainment and then doesn't get obsessed??? what a maniac?? He doesn't even remember plots of movies he saw two weeks back. And I remember movies I saw when I was 15 like I saw them yesterday. Whenever we talk, I want to talk about astronomy, and philosophy. About how tiny and insignificant we are in space and time, about thought experiments. And he never has anything to say about any of those things. He just nods and listens. "I don't really think about this stuff," he says. He has experienced way more stories than I have, and yet his head stays on the ground. If it's not something that affects him here and now, in the real world, he doesn't wanna hear about it. Who cares if wormholes can exist or not, when it's not affecting his life in any way?

And like, I get it. Life already throws so many things in your way; why add to it, right? He keeps his head clear, focuses only on the present, and on what is directly in front of him. A simple man. And on some level, I admire that. And I have been trying to be like that. But I don't want to lose my passion for stories, for things like the universe and different theories of ethics.

There's this very young businesswoman and internet personality I admire, and she is a great speaker. She always comes across as very confident and very sure of herself. And she was asked in an event how she deals with any failures or setbacks. And she said that she has learnt to regulate her emotions, so that she doesn't get too happy when something goes her way, and she doesn't get too sad when something doesn't.

Isn't that... kind of sad? It broke my heart, to be honest. I wanna be madly happy when something goes my way, dude. I wanna party and feel like I am on top of the world and that I am invincible. Moderating your emotions sounds like dulling the human experience.

Like always, I don't know what the answer is. But right now I am a little tired of feeling too much, of thinking too much. So I am going to try my dad's approach for a while, and let you know how it goes.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Can you explain why you ship batcest?! I’m sorry I’m just confused by why you like JayTim or DickTim or whatever…

I feel like I already answered this but: I just really like the dynamics of their relationships and it’s fun to go: what if they kiss?!? The pure enemies to lovers of JayTim and the freaking adorable puppy crush to love of DickTim is so good. I don’t want them canon. But it is so damn fun to read them as a couple. That’s it.

For a longer answer and as to why I explore these pairings:

I’m older then most of the people poking around in fandom and making their complaints. I’ve been participating in fandom for almost two decades, since I was a tiny preteen who was hitting puberty who suddenly got a BUNCH of issues we never figured out until I got older because hormone disorders suck ass and my autism went undiagnosed even longer. I remember my first fanfic found on Deviant art: a Harry Potter one where the golden trio and Ginny were the reincarnations of the founders and they got transported into another universe. I remember that so well because it’s just this core memory for me. Finding a place I could be me.

I went through multiple accounts and wrote some dumb shit. I roleplayed Loonatics Unleashed and did some stupid shit there to. I was a weird ass child.

I have been around for a while here kids. I read fucked up shit way to young (and it’s why one thing I am loud about is that kids shouldn’t be allowed to troll the internet without someone aware cause holy shit is some stuff messed up on here. My parents should have been watching.) and I did stupid crap. I was introduced to sex from fanfics and learned about sexuality and gender identity.

And one thing I learned through this is that: people need to grow the fuck up and realize that while fiction doesn’t exist in a vaccum it also isn’t as black and white as people like. Just because someone writes Jason and Tim kisisng doesn’t mean they are like: adoptive families don’t count or incest is fine and I’ll make out with my sibling now. It just means: hey this dynamic is interesting and let’s play with it.

Fiction does not exist in a vaccum. Racism and sexism along with other issues are common for fanfics, headcanons and comics. I recently admitted to falling prey to a few issues I was unaware of as someone who is white and grew up in a Baptist church town in bumfuck Canada.

But when people start whining over pairings it becomes a thing where all you can do is yell: ‘IT IS FICTIONAL’ and walk off. Cause anyone with critical reading skills can tell that it’s 1) not real and 2) not hurting anyone. If someone uses it to hurt someone and that’s the issue? Might as well get rid of all the books in the world and stop all TV and games because people use those as excuses to. So many people talk about the Bible, Twilight, the MCU and more being used to groom them. So… yeah. I don’t have an issue exploring pairings and relationships others would because it’s all fictional.

[skyfallscotland]

Hiii me again! I, too, have questions for the ask game 🍓🦋🥤

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

I feel like it's redundant to keep saying the same ones, but *whispers* storm in the quiet @justallihere and Political Gain @sarahwyland

But also, in terms of underrated, I just read a little series by Ramzes called The Unseen One, furthering the Sloane/Bodhi agenda (🙏🏼 the lord’s work) and I've also enjoyed The Princess Gambit by JuliLyng so far as well, which is Xaden/OC. Not sure if they have tumblr, but if they're here, hi! 👋🏼

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

So I've always been a reader/writer, since as far back as I can remember (maybe three years old?), I'm pretty sure with the knowledge I have now that I'm hyperlexic.

I'm old enough to have been around for dial-up internet, but when I was a preteen, we got broadband (showing my age). This is to say, don't judge my parents too harshly because internet safety was not a thing back then, but...

I found fanfiction because back then, a lot of people either used livejournal or hosted their own sites, so a lot of fansites, had fanfiction. So while looking at Buffy fansites, I stumbled across Buffy fanfiction and realised I could actually read stories!!! so many stories!! where Buffy and Spike got together earlier or things didn't end tragically for them. So yeah, at 11 I was reading very explicit Spuffy smut on the internet 🫢 I had a system set up where I would play The Sims all day or do school project powerpoints, except I was really reading fanfic and I would flick between screens whenever my parents entered the room.

My mum now has KU and reads dark romance every day, so I guess she comes by it honestly (and yes, I did mean it that way around, I was here first!) 😂

Anyway, when I was 12 I started publishing my first few fanfics on ffnet - Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, and a Harry Potter/X-Men Crossover. Each originally written on paper, they were all ridiculously bad, but the latter had people interested enough despite the writing, which encouraged me to try again later down the line with The Vampire Diaries and Jurassic World. I hadn't written for almost ten years and had never finished anything much until last year, by chance, I decided to finally get back into reading actual books and picked up ACOTAR. I finished the series within a week and I was left like?? That's it????

The archive had such a small number of works, I couldn't believe it, so I decided to write my own. I wrote Fury and Siren over the course of three months. I wasn't game to post anything in case I didn't finish it, because I'd never finished anything before. I also put off starting this little book I'd bought 'Fourth Wing' by three months, because I knew I'd be sucked in and would lose the hyperfixation I had, so I forced myself to finish Siren first. And now you all know my life story lol omg I'm so embarrassing to myself 🫠

TLDR: internet

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately 

Honestly, this is kind of angsty, but this last week I’ve thought a lot about male-dominated fandom spaces and how we’re not welcome in them. We, meaning everyone who isn’t a straight, cis, white male. The Formula 1 community on here seems a little better, probably because it’s female-led, but everywhere else I can’t even look at the comments.

To be honest, I’m tired of being told I don’t belong, or that my opinion means nothing because I’m female. I grew up in a motorsport family, my earliest memories are at racetracks, but men on the internet would have you believe I’m only interested because of what the drivers look like. It’s just…tiring. Those fandom spaces have become a no-go zone for me now, because it just isn’t worth it. We live in a time where no matter what you say someone will attack you which is sad in itself, but it’s so much worse when you’re a woman commenting on a “man’s sport”, not to mention endlessly frustrating because they’re too stupid to tell the difference between equity and equality.

🦋 On a larger note, Palestine. I don’t think more than that needs saying. It hurts my heart.

[donovanpaak]

INTRODUCING...Donovan Paak.

STATS:

Nicknames: Donnie, Don.

Character Age:  33

Neighborhood: Midtown

Occupation: Firefighter

Sexuality: Bisexual

Birthday: June 29th, 1990

Faceclaim: Charles Melton

Hometown: Asheville, NC.

Years of Residence: 25 Years

Pinterest Board /

Character Inspiration: Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Patrick Verona (10 things I hate about you), Kevin G (Mean Girls), Rick O'Connell (The Mummy), Neville Longbottom (Harry Potter)

tldr;

-- DONOVAN PAAK grew up in a loving home where knowledge was everything. his parents went missing when he was only seven years old and he ended up being fostered by the yoon's, a family that showed him nothing but real love. not long after, a single mother with means adopted him and helped him try to connect the dots of his biological parents' disappearance. after years and with no answers, donnie made it his mission to save people that needed to be saved. he became a firefighter after spending a year in south korea, thriving in his career until three years ago when he made a mistake and his friend decided to take the fall for him. since then, donnie wonders how long his conscience will let him keep the secret and struggles with keeping up with the lies.

READ BELOW for fun facts, biography, possible connections.

random facts

donnie loves drawing and will do so at any time of the day, even when he's having a conversation with his close friends or family

has quite the graphic novels collection; however if you ask him about any tv show or movie, he will probably not have any idea of what you're talking about

hosts video game nights once a month at his mother's home in carriage falls

can and will outdrink you under any circumstances

can be a little quiet and reserved upon first meeting him

will do anything for the people that he loves

donnie can fall asleep very easily and will take naps at random times of the day

owns too many backpacks

prefers to stay in rather than going out, but will still have fun when out with friends

owns way too many books, his collection includes all the books that belonged to his parents. he hasn't read half of their stuff but reads one book a week

he's a people pleaser and is mostly happy when he makes other people happy

biography

Donnie was born in Asheville to loving parents whose real and only love was their research and their son. The Paak’s had found love in what most people would call a movie story, two archaeologists that met in university and married right after. Donovan was born two years after their marriage, and then five years later they found a topic that turned their research into their whole lives.

Donovan doesn’t remember a lot of it, or of his parents, but they traveled more often than not when he was a child. His grandmother would take care of him until she passed away, then came the nannies,or the aunts. It was during one of those trips that his parents never came back from. Donnie was seven.

The foster system is one of the first things that he can remember, but unlike most kids, Donovan remembers it fondly as that is where he met the Yoon’s. Minhyuk came first as his social worker, but also who eventually became his foster dad which led to Donovan’s move to the town that he now calls home: Wilmington. With the man came Sara and Mahi, who Donnie grew so attached to that by the time that he had to say goodbye to his temporary family, he knew he would never be able to let them go.

With the Yoon’s, he learned what a home cooked meal was, what having siblings felt like, what sharing toys really meant, but most of all, he learned that his parents hadn’t left him, but that they’d been missing after their flight to Berlin.

It worked out perfectly when almost a year after being in the system, Donovan was adopted by a single woman in her thirties who’d always wanted children but couldn’t have them with or without a partner. Adela Garcia was a sophisticated, fairly rich museum curator and collector. But Donnie’s favorite thing about the woman was that she was local to Wilmington and that was all that mattered because that meant that he would stay in touch with his sisters. He could get through anything with them.

Adela was the perfect mother though, food was always on the table, traveling overseas only happened when she could take Donovan with her, she didn’t miss a school play or sporting event, bought him anything and everything that her son wanted. The one thing that she could not give him though? Answers. 

At thirteen, Donovan only wanted to know what happened to his parents, how could they have disappeared out of thin air and why had no one ever asked these questions? So, Adela helped him. She hired investigators, let him miss classes when needed, hugged him when they hit dead-ends. 

Slowly, Donnie realized that his parents’ disappearance would always be a mystery to him. This led to him acting out a little bit. He tried getting into fights with older kids in school, tried drinking, yelled at his adoptive mom, yelled at who’d once been his foster dad. High school was a roller coaster, too much pent up frustration and heartbreak that he was finally letting out. Donnie often wondered if his mom would give up on him but she never did, neither did the Yoon’s.

When no one left him, he realized that despite not having answers, he had a family, and although he would never stop looking for his birth parents, Donnie had to move on. Meeting Chloe helped, it was like someone finally understood him. He’d found the missing piece to his support system.

At eighteen, Donovan graduated high school. He and Adela spent a year in Korea, where they found his father’s side of the family and although he loved spending time with them, he was even happier to be back home in Wilmington when they did come back. Spending a whole year doing nothing but drawing, reading and sightseeing gave him answers that he hadn’t had upon graduation.

He joined the fire academy the day that they landed back in Wilmington. Two years later, he joined the Wilmington Fire Station as a candidate. His mother wasn’t particularly happy, she could have paid for any school, any major, but her son had chosen to put his life at risk everyday of his life. Donovan’s answer was and will always be that he can’t do anything that isn’t helping those who need it. 

Naturally, Donnie thrived as a firefighter, graduating top of his class and becoming the driver for the truck in record time according to the older firefighters. He has worked his way up in the past decade and is thought of very highly by his teammates and superior officers, but he’s never really wanted up the hierarchy as the reason why he wanted to be in the job was that he could save people. It’s his calling.

Three years ago, Donovan and another firefighter went on a call with everyone else and Donnie messed up by being impatient and not following his chief’s direct orders, which led to one of his teammates getting extremely hurt. When Donnie woke up, his friend had taken the fall for him, telling him in secret that with his injuries he couldn’t keep being a firefighter and Donovan deserved a second chance, he’d only done what he thought was right.

Despite his friend’s support, Donnie has felt incredibly guilty since then and for a few years struggled to be happy with his job, feeling as if he’d betrayed the firefighter spirit and honor by letting a dear friend take the fall for his mistake. He’s never told anyone but as much as he loves his job, he wonders if his conscience is going to let him continue working and has found himself not as centered as he’s always been, trying to see if he should follow his gut, come clean and lose everything he’s worked so hard for or to keep quiet and keep going.

possible connections

friends, childhood friends, fwb, hook ups, one night stands, enemies, rivals, drinking buddies, partners in crime, love interests, anything you can think of that your character can fit into his life!

[theclearblue]

When reading a book or watching a series, have you :

a. Finish a book or a series, even when you dislike the mc until the end but love the story (What's the title?)

b. Finish a book or a series, even when you dislike the story but love the mc (what's the title?)

c Finish a book or a series, even when you dislike the mc and story but love the worldbuilding (what's the title?)

d. Finish a book or a series, even when you dislike the mc, story, worldbuilding but still finish it for whatever reason (what's the title?)

The thing about me is I will drop a series very easily, if it can't hold my attention I'll be usually just drop it and move on lol. A and C are automatically out because I'm a big character reader/watcher, so if I find the main character boring or annoying, it's not for me. Not that the main character needs to be my favorite, they often aren't, but this is the character that the reader spends the most time with and it's through their POV usually, I should find them likeable or interesting enough to continue to care about plot/worldbuilding/everything else. There are exceptions to this in the form of I grew up reading the same YA slop that everyone my age read, so looking back I completed a lot of series that weren't very good and had main characters I found annoying. Harry Potter, Divergent, Maximum Ride, Pendragon series, Cinder, none of these hold up unfortunately (main exceptions to this being PJO, Hunger Games, and the Uglies series <3).

For the second question, the only one that comes to mind is Legend of Korra. LOVE Korra, I think she's a really interesting avatar and her character journey is really great to follow, but the series does get hampered by convoluted romance plot lines that I didn't care about, production issues that greatly rushed the pacing in season 4, and I didn't really care about the plot by the end because it was so all over the place. I don't think Korra herself is an issue in the series though, she gets way too much shit.

The last scenario where I finish it without liking anything is usually when I've invested a lot of time and love into a series and then it just falls on it's face at the end. Voltron comes to mind instantly where I just hated everything about Season 7 and 8, but I'm on Seasons 7 and 8 so I might as well finish the damn thing. Same exact scenario with Game of Thrones (the tv show). Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu is a 10/10 series until the "twist" with the open ending, it was soooo unnecessary and like. It wasn't crashing and burning like Voltron and GOT, it just abruptly slaps you in the face with it before leaving lmao. So maybe it doesn't fit because I DO love everything else about it, but this ending would color how I view the series on a reread, and that sucks. Other series like this would be Blue Flag, Death Note, Attack on Titan (kind of, the series is mostly fine I just got really grossed out with the antisemitism in season 4), The Promised Neverland season 2, Darling in the Franxx (idk why i started let alone completed this), Eragon series, Allegiant (looking back I hate the entire Divergent series, but this is the first time I remember finishing a series and hating the ending). There are probably more than this as well lol.

[wingardium-levioshiiit]

Look. I get that people shouldn't buy Hogwarts Legacy because of the things JK said but can be take a moment to remember how much HP has impacted our lives and how it has helped millions of people? Yes, JK stands for some horrible things but have you ever considered that many of your favorite artists and musicians have some horrible ideals that you don't know about? I'm not saying they all do.

The Harry Potter universe helped me. I literally grew up with the HP world from the moment it started. It helped me become brave, courageous, unafraid of speaking my mind, to stand up for myself, to not judge people before getting to know them, and so much more. An entire generation grew up with these positive morals. For some, it literally saved their lives. For some, if Harry Potter never came out and gave the messages it did, they wouldn't be here today.

Yes, JK isn't perfect, but no one is. Hogwarts Legacy has been a dream for many of us. We have waited years for an open world game. Just because the author of the series is a shithead doesn't make the HPverse a terrible place.

You say she doesn't represent those of color yet many of the characters mentioned in the books were never described with a race or ethnicity so how can you get upset when she purposely left those out because it allows the READER to invision what the world looks like based on some minor details. Thats what books for meant to do: give you some bare basic information to get you started are on your visual journey while reading. Look at Hermione. We weren't given any information on her race/ethnicity UNTIL the movies came out...and the way the movies were portrayed was how the director invisioned them. She could have been portrayed as black but at the time of the first film, leading roles with colored folk was not that popular. Today is a different story. Today she'd probably be portrayed as black and maybe even a little gay.

The times are different. Things have changed. People who grew up in the same time as Rowling don't understand trans people. They are allowing faith and religion to cloud their judgment on things like this. They think its an abomination to be like that. I mean, some people think that gay couples are somehow going to turn children gay by looking at them. And we all know that's highly false and crazy insulting.

All I'm saying is: screw what JK has to say and buy the game, especially if you grew up with the HPverse. Life is too damn short to get pissy over things you can not control. No one will ever change her mind so why continue to fume over it? Why allow ONE person to ruin something for you? Regardless of whether you buy the came or not, shes still making millions every day. Harry Potter world, the movies playing on different TV channels, merchandise being sold, etc.

[fandom-imagination-ss]

day 6 of 31 days of  Halloween Imagines

Imagine: The Building is having a Halloween Party and you confess to Mabel that you have a massive Crush on Theo Dimas 

(Author Note: this is being writing in August and the second season is still playing So if This Adorable Man is Dead, or the killer or doesn’t have happiness even a little bit by the season of season 2 i will cry ) 

you grew up in the building, you knew Bunny, you Knew everyone in the old impressive building. you were friends with Mabel and you were generally shocked to learn about the first murders. and that Theo Dimas was a jewel thief. you tried to communicate with Theo. Even going as far as learning Simple ASL. Theo wasn’t Ever Mean or Rude but he always was too busy dashing in and out of the building. Hinge sight Now knowing his Dad forced him to Rob Dead peoples Graves. you understood why he was always so busy!

getting to the Halloween party across from your Apartment you were dressed as Hermione grander Not a Sexy Hermione you dressed as close as possible to the character without sexualizing your fictional idol! you were holding a bottle of wine to give to the Host the entire Building was invited and you were standing out in the hall with Mabel, Charles and Oliver were bickering with each other as Mabel asked how you not so Sutle Crush was going.

During the first Murders Charles, Oliver, and Mabel questioned you for the Podcast you were convinced that Theo and his dad who was always So kind to you weren’t killers. and it came out that you had a crush you had to Beg on your hands and knees. and ended up feeding Oliver for a week for that to stay out of their podcast. Now. with the murder of Bunny, Theo, and his Dad on House arrest you rarely saw Theo. you didn’t even know he was back until Mabel mentioned it. 

Shaking your head as you spoke up, “he just seems so Hug deprived and I love giving Hugs!” Mabel who was dressed up as an Old Lady spoke, “well why don’t you ask him out? he isn’t that bad of a guy.” 

you reached over grabbing her arm as you laughed, “I Would take just a conversation in the Elevator. He Doesn’t like me! I spent weeks learning Some ASL and he Never sticks around to let me show him!” 

“But it’s So romantic you learned it for him.” 

you laughed taking a drink. you knew your crush on Theo was one-sided and pointless he would never look at you that way Hell you would take Him just glancing in your direction. you realized after It came out he Robbed Dead people of their jewelry that you had No chance. Not that you thought he was a bad guy. but you learned he liked Zoe and you remember Zoe. she was Nothing like you so you gave up. 

the Pumpkin flavor drink you were having was Awful. somethings shouldn’t be Pumpkin spiced flavored and Liquor was one of them. you took another sip as you spoke, ‘I would have better luck with the ghost of one of the dead tenants.” 

“it can’t be that extreme yet that your sinking that low on the Dating pole.”

“I mean out of Charles and Oliver. Charles is the better match- but he’s older than my dad. so-” Mabel laughed loudly saying god her ears as you spoke, “I shall Live with the fact I will never attract Theo Dimas. it just sucks.. but not as bad as these drinks! I’m getting anything else that isn’t Pumpkin flavor you good/’ 

she nodded her head as you went into the apartment to get better drinks. Mabel noticed Theo walking in a few minutes ago he was dressed in his normal regular clothes so not on the floor to attend the party. the truth was he came to see what you dressed up as. he wasn’t disappointed to see the bushie brown hair, the white tube socks, and the black cloak. he knew you were Hermione. you Loved Harry potter and he knew it. you would read the books growing up and would have a Harry potter theme party once a year. always a different location last year was the Hogwarts express train. it was mainly an excuse to have a marathon. Mable noticed Theo watching you leave as she spoke, ‘hey Theo.” he nodded his head Signing Hey as he Signed, “Did Y/N say she liked me?” 

he couldn’t believe read your lips correctly. He wasn't great at lip reading. But sometime he swears he can understand everything you saym it was in the eyes. Every emotion or thought is visible to your face. And he waa stunned he lip read you liked him .he he was dreaming of hearing say you fancied him for years.hes. liked yoi since. you moved into the apartment and you were always smiling and he was addicted. he found himself taking the Long way In and out of the building just so he could catch a glimpse of you. 

“Shit.. yes! But - Look I didn’t tell you.” 

you returned with two drinks as you spoke, “the table is full of Pumpkin flavored things. it’s awful oh Hi Theo.” you waved weakly as he smiled back beaming brightly as you spoke, “I got you a drink Mabel just cause that line for the drinks is long.” 

I’m Good why don’t you offer it to Theo.” you smiled at Mable you had been waiting for almost 3 years to finally Sign to Theo. For Once he wasn’t speeding off. you handed the drinks to Mabel who grabbed them awkwardly still holding her own drink as you started to Sign, “do you want a drink?” Theo smiled brightly as he signed ‘Yes Please.” you smiled handing one to him as he smiled thanking you.

Oliver and Charles came over dragging Mabel away as you ended up sitting on the floor in the hallway as you talked with Theo all night. you ended up asking him out you meant to Sign “Do you want to go get food.” but you signed “do you want to get Glitter?” Theo chuckled as you smiled saying as you spoke, “was I close to Food? I was asking you out for food.. did I sign food? it was that or this one you signed for food as he chuckled as he signed, “you were close.” you laughed as he smiled he couldn’t really hear your laugh but he loved the way your head titled back and he could see it was a genuine laugh. he smiled nodding his head as you smiled as you spoke up, not knowing how to Sign “take out?” he nodded his head knowing what you said as you both got up and left the Halloween party. for taking out at your apartment. 

[danpuff-ao3]

Comfort Characters

@givereadersahug wrote about Comfort Characters and I thought I'd do the same!

This was always a weird concept for me to consider. Like...do I have a comfort character? The answer feels sort of obvious, but in the way that both yes and no feel obvious. Thus: the dilemma.

When it comes to fandom, I read so much angst, whump, darkfic, etc. And I favor portrayals of characters that are real, gritty, imperfect, and messy. My fandom preferences feel a bit at odds with the word "comfort." But...I do find a strange sense of comfort in these subjects and these characters, don't I?

And with that in mind...let me answer the dang question, yeah?

To really get the full picture, I think first we need to focus on what the Harry Potter books mean to me.

In recent years, with the author's outrageous and shameless vitriol, being a fan of HP has been challenging. It feels wrong to love this fandom so much, when the author shows such unmitigated hate.

The problem is: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone was published in the U.S. in 1998. (Usually I remember HP was published in 1997, but I just did a Google check for the U.S. publication to make sure I had my facts straight!) I was six years old when the books came out here. I was a bookworm since I could read! I inhaled books at an alarming rate. But no book from my childhood stuck out to me more than Harry Potter. I don't remember life before those books. And they were probably the first books I ever reread. And I never stopped rereading them. I'm not sure I've read anything more times than I've read those books.

Are they a literary masterpiece? Of course not. But they are whimsical, magical, joyful, colorful, touching, adventurous, and just plain fun! More so when I discovered fandom properly and my creativity ran loose in fanfiction.

My childhood was not especially good or happy, and these books were my escape. The fandom was my escape. Whenever life was dark or scary or hurtful, I had somewhere to turn. I had no one in my real life I could turn to. But I had these characters. And I had the friends I made through fandom. Facts that hold true even to this day, though I've escaped all the worst life had thrown at me (up until this point, at least!)

The books and fandom were a great source of comfort to me. And a large part of it must be because of the characters that were such a comfort to me.

Of course, my two comfort characters make up my beloved OTP.

Severus Snape, who I loved from the start. Which is funny when you think about little 6 year old Danni mooning over the "mean teacher." The dark mystery of him seduced me even then! He was clever, and creative, and cutting. He was the bad guy who wasn't really a bad guy, which blew my little socks off!

Harry Potter, of course...our titular character. My partner now likes to joke that I'm a "main character simp." (Hello, Harry Potter and Percy Jackson and Rand al'Thor...) I can't help it, okay? But Harry was always such a precious bean. Wide-eyed awe for magic. Spunky and bold, in spite of his poor life circumstances. The sort of fearlessness I admired, but could never quite replicate. My whole life was tied up in fear. I was scared of so much for so long. Harry's openness and honesty and bravery drew me in.

But those were the simpler, surface-level attractions for a young girl. But I'm not a young girl anymore. I'm a woman who grew up with these characters. I watched Harry grow and change; I watched him learn; I watched his trials and errors; his failures and his successes; I watched him save the day. And for Severus Snape, rather than moving forward, we looked back. I watched his story unfold in all of its horrible, messy glory. And I fell more and more in love with them both.

Harry and Severus both came from troubled backgrounds. Severus represents the stark reality. How deeply those wounds impact you, and how they don't always heal. Harry represented the ideals. All that I hoped to be; the behavior I respected and the principles I learned.

Harry overcome his circumstances and became a truly good person in spite of it all. But "good" doesn't mean without flaw. And his strength doesn't mean no damage was left behind.

On the flip side, Severus' trauma pushed him along a dark road. He reacted poorly. He made bad decisions. But hope wasn't lost, was it? Bad decisions didn't mean he could be written off as a villain. He was so deeply wounded, and he carried on despite that. The pain of his past plagued his every moment, but he still moved forward and kept fighting through it all. And for all the ways his trauma had made him flawed, there was still goodness in him. He was still worthy of love and respect. He was still capable of great deeds.

They are both men who were hurt by their life's circumstances, and who were bound by terrible fate. And they chose to embrace that. They chose to keep doing and being better, even when they screwed up. They never let life keep them down.

So much in them speaks to me. They can share my pain. And they give me hope and strength to keep going. And in them and all their messy, imperfect glory, I can reflect upon myself. And in loving them for their best and worst qualities, I can accept and love them in myself.

...and then I make them fall in love again and again and again (and again and again) (and again and again and again.) And that brings me even more comfort. And joy. And endless entertainment. And emotions. And basically all the good things life has to offer. Snarry for life, if you didn't already know I was a massive Snarry stan.

[linipikk]

Sounds like you were pretty ignorant then if you didn’t have all the mass of super explicit and easy to see racism and Jew hate in hp. She literally says black people are inferior, Asian girls are objects, and goblin bankers are like jews word for word in the books.

I was very terribly ignorant! yes! i was also 8 or 9 and, albeit, through my teen years the books were still being published and i still liked them even with the faults even i could see. And never read them in english either , and it is a well known fact that harry potter translations are somewhat better than the og books. And, when you come from a 3rd world country, everything that is produced in a predominantly white and/or colonialist culture and really privileged society has this veil of racism that you learn to ignore very VERY early on. It was work to unlearn that, and it took me until i was pursuing storytelling as a career. Many have never thought more about harry potter because it is very low in the list of priorities.

And not only that. Jews are a very small community here, also asians (like... any asian whole-continent-east south south pacific, any tbh), not many in Colombia, and much less in the very specific ambient i grew up in. Remember that there is nuance. And that back in the day it made sense to me that a white brit would know nothing about other cultures. "They never know or even include us in anything, and really it all seems so plain when they add another, I can believe they are just that ignorant" or so i thought. But of course I was wrong.

The real shocker to me was when I was in the uk, seeing so mahy people from so many different places and cultures and thinking "wao, ok, now i see what the deal is " .

Nuance, my friend. Because very many if not all classical tales are hella antisemtic but i didnt knew that. for me those were just stories and i, of course, wasnt just believing them with my eyes closed, and just assumed the author was exagerating the bad guys as they always do (with us at least). There is this fairy tale about slavery that privileged people tell themselves that apply only in their imagination and we learn to ignore that because that is not the reality we see here but we still want fo enjoy the fun parts so we overlook the bad in order to find a little good. Same with classism, same with racism. And then come back to earth and think about it whole and ultimately learn.

We shouldnt just ignore it tho! but thats how it is because we all have different experiences. I dont know how begin to tell you about how the fandom experience here was so so different before the internet-harry potter (those two are linked) .

But I grew up and learnt to be a storyteller who is aware of all of those things. But also, i am still allowed to feel nostalgic about something that was important to me ina personal level, while also understanding the nuance of why i liked it how i read it and what happens with people who still likes it and why. And still try to open with them a dialogue of the problems, a real productive discussion, if you will. But I wont look at the girl waiting for her dad to finish his class at 8 pm and shun her for reading harry potter, i will try to nudge her to also read something else and open her worldview another degree tho. It is a " Yes, and..." approach.

You send anon messages to randos so I dont think you are very open to a bigger understandings of anything and just want to feel all mighty from your high horse, but I do like to ramble about stuff.

[arrestedforhomestuckcrimes]

Thoughts based off of last reblog since I didn't wanna derail just talking about my experiences with no real PointTM

I had the best homeschooling options I think you can really get.

My mom wanted to grow up and be a stay at home mom, but grandma made sure she had a degree and could work if she needed to. My mom went to college FOR teaching and then had me right away so that degree was put away until dad got laid off sixteen years later

I went to preschool and kindergarten and even before my mom knew homeschooling was a real option she was helping with my education.

Thanks to this book I was WAY ahead of my peers in kindergarten.... With Reading Only. TERRIBLE social skills, I preferred grabbing from our tiny in class library during free choice time over ever playing with anyone.

From first grade to college, I was homeschooled.

And like, I knew every type of family that post described. We had C**** who was never going to go to college, she took over running her family's coffee shop. We had J****, who I think married his girlfriend when they were 16 and 17 if I remember correctly. Or both 17 but I know they weren't 18

(She had cancer and probably wasn't going to make it to the end of the year, for the record. It was very much circumstantial, but I knew more than one other couple who DID get married at 18)

I can look back at the people who went to the co-op and point out the anger management kid, the extreme autism kids, the Weird food allergy kids, the Severely Christian kids, etc.

I knew a family with nine kids where the girls were Not Allowed to wear pants. All dressed, all the time. High collars, sleeves to the elbows, skirts to the ankles.

My mother was told she was training me and my siblings to be sluts for letting us wear two pieces. The kind of two piece that covers the entire stomach and looks functionally like a one piece.

Half the kids I knew weren't allowed to read Harry Potter.

There is a third type the post doesn't mention though. The families who hate the government and are SUPER neglectful. That was my best friend's family growing up.

It's interesting like. Being Homeschooled definitely made me the person I am today. If I could go back I would have stayed in public school and hopefully would have learned to 1 Realize Deadlines Are Real. 2 Study. 3 Socialize with people I don't already know.

If I popped out a kid today (horrifying) I would NOT let them into the public school system.

I grew up SO PREJUDICED against public schoolers lmao. "Those poor idiots, getting pushed into overcrowded, underfunded buildings that are designed to make you a Good Factory Worker not to teach you to learn"

Which isn't the full truth but isn't inaccurate either you know? Like there's a layer of that I don't think I'm ever going to be able to get rid of but I'm also not letting any future kids I'm never going to have go to public school b/c of school shootings.

And if I had gone to public school I wouldn't have gotten to do half the things I did! Civil air patrol, violin lessons, drama club, dance lessons, karate, I did EVERYTHING and if I went to public school there just wouldn't have been time in the day!

I didn't know gay people existed until our Friday Forum (big homeschool co-op that met once a month) people said our state had just failed two intelligence tests. They were talking about how the state was legalizing gay marriage and weed.

I just. Idk. It was the best thing that happened to me. It was Absolutely a cult but one I was on the fringe of. You need a parent who's willing to do a LOT of work to make it work. I never got a high school diploma. I have two college degrees.

I hope my old friends are okay. I haven't talked to any of them in at least three years, closer to 6 for most of them.

[straykats]

i think you knew i was coming HSJHS also it’s getting kinda late for us so you can respond to this in the morning 🤣

numbers 1, 9, 18, 66, 92, 99, 102, 121, 135 for the book recs ask game please!!

toff!! toffee!!! that gif is an accurate presentation of what i experienced last night when i was juuuust about to go to sleep and then got ur ask AHAHHA anyways, sorry for such a late response!! had to do some stuff this morn <//3

[ send me book rec asks! ]

1. a book that is close to your heart

the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky &lt;3

9. your favourite book of 2020

of 2020?? defs chain of gold by cassandra clare. why, you ask? idk im just a bitch for the shadowhunter books 💀💀 nah jokes there are defs reasons, but me already being in love w the shadowhunter universe definitely plays a major part. ummm fav book of 2022 ?? on earth, maybe. it's not a '22 book but i didnt read it until this year i think. tbh i'm not sure when i read it AHHA (i just know i havent read much this year sigh)

18. your least favourite book ever

i... don't know. if i dont like a book i dont tend to finish it? but i easily get invested in and love the media i consume so there's none i would consider my 'least favourite'.. even the ones we read in school, i found something to love about them. but, uh. city of bones is always very difficult to reread. can't ever really do it. i tend to just skip it HAHAHA

66. a book that fucked you up

on earth, but not in a bad way. and the perks of being a wallflower as well, but in a different way as well. i fell like if i read a little life it'll probably be here HAHAHA. OH WAIT OH WAIT release by patrick ness. i??? i dont remember why i bought it but i know that i got to some scenes that i was not expecting and it made me really??? confused and uncofmortable at the time, but i don't remember why.

92. a book about a redeemable villain

i.. am going to tentatively say dark rise by c.s.pacat. the more i think about it the more i think it counts, but i dont wanna spoil anything so... anyways 10/10 rec this book/series.

99. a book with a strong female protagonist

the last hours trilogy, my beloved, by cassandra clare. cordelia carstairs <3 <3 <3 BUT UH too many shadowhunter books so uh instead. throne of glass series by sarah j. maas! not only the main protag, but also lysandra ! defs grew on me.

102. your favourite dark academia read

UHHHHHHHH off the top of my head u cant think of anything that actually fits the da genre/aes, but i have the atlas six on my to be potentially read list?? wait. idk if the his dark materials trilogy by philp pullman counts as DA but if it does... yes.

121. a book that makes you nostalgic

pjo/hoo by rick riordan, guardians of ga'hoole by kathryn lasky, his dark materials by philip pullman. nostalgic bc i read them all in primary/middle school ig lol . ih and ofc, harry potter.

135. recommend any book you like

urusla k. le guin's the left hand of darkness!! it's scifi (and fantasy?? idk) and there's a lot of world building and new terms that can be really confusing (but there are a multitude of lists online w the different terms and definiitions) but the concept and the ideas/social commentary is >>> it was one of my favourite texts to study in school, and now that i'm older and have studied it, i really want to reread it again! (it was a yr12 lit text so.. i'm not really that much older but still AHAH)

[robinsversion]

Something I just realized, and why I think I was able to so easily let go of Harry Potter compared to most people, is that I dropped HP like a flea-ridden rag because I’m now so used to dropping literally anything and everything due to the epidemic of YouTubers and other public figures being exposed as pedos/predators/bigots. I was a panic at the disco fan. I was a cryaotic fan. I was a boyinaband fan. And that’s just three I can name off the top of my head, I’m sure I’ll probably think of more when I hit send on this post. I’ve been a fan of the work of so many people, and in some cases even just a fan of their public persona in general, but over the years they’ve gone down one by one, whether it was Br*ndon Ur*e’s racist and bigoted and rapey statements (none of which he’s taken accountability for and all of which he’s tried to just shove under the rug and pretend he never said them) coming to light in the public eye, Cryaotic coming forward as a pedo and then having his victims reveal that he’s a sadistic abusive asshole on top of it, boyinaband being exposed for praying on minor fans and later further abusing them once he got into relationships with them, and so countless more instances of public figure’s masks being ripped off to expose a vile face underneath. Hell, there’s many further creators whose work has definitely shaped me in one way or another, but who I’ve felt the need to drop once they were revealed to have done or said things that I am unable to continue supporting, whether being abusive to others behind the scenes or cheating on SOs or actively trying to ruin the lives of their “enemies” or developing cult-like relationships with their fanbases.

All that to say, yeah, by the time JK posted her transphobia manifesto, I had become so used to being disappointed by creators I admired, that cutting all my ties and love for Harry Potter was second nature, like a chore that I could do subconsciously. And bear in mind I was far from just a casual fan. I read all the books multiple times and watched all the movies (from the fourth one on I saw them in theaters opening weekend), had all the books (most in hardcover editions), and had all the movies on dvd. I had played most of the games, and one was even an all-time favorite right up until said manifesto. I owned a ton of merch. I was one of those people where my hogwarts house was my whole fucking personality.

But then it just stopped. It all just stopped. I dropped her, because I was well used to dropping things and creators, because I was used to being disappointed. I was used to being let down. I was used to people turning out to be shitty.

Anyway, if this even had a point in the beginning I can’t remember where I was going with it. I guess I just wanted to talk about how sad it is that finding out someone I supported is an asshole, is basically just a normal Tuesday nowadays. It was upsetting when it first started happening—at least, when it first started affecting the art and content I liked, I should say—but now, well, now I just move on almost instantly. Harry Potter was my childhood, but I cannot in any way co-sign the words and actions of such a viscous, sadistic, transphobic bigot, and no piece of content or art, let alone something so full of fault in hindsight like HP, is worth letting bigotry be welcomed into our society. I just wish everyone else who grew up with HP felt the same.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Yes yes good for them!! The happy couple <33 I havent played minecraft in a while but i used to play it constantly before shit went down with an ex bff of mine, then i just stopped playing since I had no one to play it with. But I really enjoyed playing it when I used to spend every day on it with my crappy laptop. I need to play it again. Genshin impact is so much fun though!! If you decide to try it and stick with it I'd like to know since it does have co op. I grew up with pokemon so i've played it for a long ass time, theres a new game coming out but i also reccomend getting legends arceus as its addicting !! Really addicting and adds a new twist to the game that isnt collecting 8 gym badges and becoming the champion. ooohhh, that sounds interesting I should definately look into the book. I remember being a book worm up until like high school, I was reading a lot of the time as its the only thing I could do as I didnt get a phone until freshman year of high school. There's a series I started but I havent finished quite yet. But one thing I remember in high school I borrowed a book from a friend(they later let me keep the book), it's a book meant for little kids to read but I enjoyed it despite the fact I tend to read novels than books like it, and I even remember the teacher's aide telling me that I could read a more higher up book than that, i didnt really pay any mind to it i just enjoyed reading the book as a sort of break from what I normally read. I remember reading the harry potter series in like one school year back in middle school, while only reading the books at school and on the way home from school, never at home(it was my first time reading them.) The theory just appeared in my head on the topic of sweet home and it just sort of made sense to me, especially with how the series showed that not all monsters are bad so there had to of been a reason why not all of em are bad. Yea, but I think Stupid Cool is now my favorite Dawn song, i love it way too much at this very moment. I dont really listen to Jessi so I dont really know any of her songs. OH! Another solo artist I like is Alexa, especially her song bomb. Two more groups I like are KARD and OMEGA X. And I agree TXT's songs are BOPS, i actually have 4 of their albums as well. I dont really care for grammar in casual talk tbh, like it makes no sense to be grammically correct with everything when you're just talking in a normal conversation (like if the grammar is very bad then i'd be a bit annoyed but i typically dont give af about grammar unless its in writing.)

Awh!1 I try to play alone but I always end up getting bored T-T I think that's why I'm also bored on Stardew Valley, I'm going to try and convince a friend of mine to start playing on it with me so we can make a farm together haha! Awwh! I grew up watching the Pokemon show and playing a couple of games, I remember playing it on the DS whenever we would go on road trips 😭😂

Honestly, its a series I recommend a lot! My penpal suggested it to me and I've been hooked!!! It's such a good series, it's fantasy too which is nice because it's not normally a genre that I tend to read. I tend to read a lot of smut now, on my kindle mostly haha.It's so sweet that you have some good memories of reading 🥺🥺 Harry potter is for sure one of my favourite series. I have a Felix Felicis bottle tattooed on my arm haha I'm working on getting some more book related ones

I love the theory so much, I had to send it to my friend so that she could look into it as well! She loves it!

ALEXA!! I love her! I followed her on Tiktok and I've been in love ever since!!! There's so many people and groups that I love!!! T-T

Same here!!! I don't tend to focus on spelling and grammar unless I'm writing for you guys on here but other than that I'm spelling stuff wrong all of the time.

[pens-swords-stuff]

Hi there! For your AMA asks; what are the kinds of asian characters that you would personally like to see in the media that you consume?

I personally don't have a certain kind, archetype, trope, or anything specific type of Asian characters I want to see.

I just want to see more of them. In every possible iteration and archetype possible. As long as they're well-rounded, have a lot of depth, are treated with the same love and care that white characters are given, and aren't just caricatures or stereotypes, I'm here for it.

Seriously, any sort of Asian character will do. It doesn't matter what they are, as long as they're well-developed!

I had a bit of a shock and a minor identity crisis a few years ago when I looked back on some of the characters I really loved in American media and realized... Oh man, they were really my favorites just because they were Asian. In Harry Potter, I've always cited Cho Chang as my favorite character even though objectively, she's not written to be that great of a character. I didn't even realize that Numbuh Three in Codename: Kids Next Door was Japanese until I was doing a deep dive into the lore of the show when I was an adult, but she was my favorite character anyway because I related to her; she looked like me.

Every single Asian character (especially if they were a female character) that I grew up watching in American shows and reading in American books, I gravitated towards as a child. It didn't matter if they were well written or badly written; they were my favorite.

My point is: Representation matters. Even if I didn't realize it at the time, it apparently meant a lot to me; It's not a coincidence that I gravitated towards Asian and Asian-coded characters, what few that I had. Think of how much powerful that could've been for me if they'd been written really well? If there were a lot for me to choose from? But instead, I was left with a startling realization that wow, I really wanted that representation as a child, and I clung to the few that I was allowed to have — even if they weren't even that good.

And I also personally never found the question of "what kind of Asian character do you want to see more of" very helpful or enlightening. To me, it seems like there's no real answer and risks further stereotyping or swinging too hard the other way. (For me! Personally! It's a valid question, just one that never really worked for me). I want to see every kind of Asian character, just as many as white characters. I want every single background, heroes and villains, love interests and main characters, best friends and enemies... Everything. Absolutely everything.

I don't want to be drawn to an Asian character just because they're an Asian anymore, just because they're the only ones I had in American media, just because they're the only ones that look like me. I want to have so many Asian characters to be drawn to so that I can pick and choose which ones are my favorites and which ones that I identify the most with. I want to have the chance to be choosey and picky about which ones are my favorites.

As long as they're well-written and developed and have depth, that's valuable representation. And it matters so much. It definitely mattered to me when I was a young child.

AAPI AMA 2022: Ask me anything about being Japanese!

Remember that these are just my personal experiences and opinions! My thoughts and experiences are not necessarily representative of every Japanese person, and should not be taken as such.

[missdawnandherdusk]

Beautiful Ghosts

Ghost!Reader X Draco

Summary: Request: @sydthekid1518​: I had an Idea for a draco fic, where y/n is a ghost that’s fairly popular with the students and staff, and draco falls for her and stuff? And then maybe y/n and Harry create a plan that would allow reader to come back to life and stuff and be with draco.

A/N: Happy spooky season to all and to all a good night filled with Draco Malfoy. I’m so excited about how this turned out and that I got it done before Halloween because the odds weren’t looking to hot not gonna lie, but here it is and it’s beautiful. As always, let me know what y’all think,,,

“Y/n, please don’t disturb my students,” Snape droned with a monotone voice.

“You’ve got no power over me, Severus,” I laughed, ghosting away from his Slytherins working on Polyjuice potion.

“But I do have control in this classroom, dead or not Miss Y/n, this is my domain,” Snape argued, ruffled.

“I’m eternally bonded to this school. It’s my domain more than it is yours,” I countered, perched on his desk.

“Blasted ghosts,” A boy muttered, catching my attention, “No respect for authority,”

Tilting my head, I made my way over to him, studying the young Slytherin. He was about the age that I was when I had died, moved on, crossed the veil—whatever. His steady grey eyes and twisted sneer told me all that I needed to know about him.

“Another Malfoy,” I mused. “Interesting... And where’s your respect for the dead Mr. Malfoy?”

His eyes went wide at the idea that I was addressing him at all. Like I spooked him. Imagine that, a ghost spooking someone.

“Enough Ms. Y/n. Kindly refrain from scaring my students if you must stay,” Snape intervened. “I’m not scared,” Malfoy shot back.

“Boo!” I teased before passing through the walls of the dungeon and into my favorite spot in the entire castle, even living: the library.

I never had so much time on my hands before being dead, and now I could just take a book and read. Pince had been able to enchant them in such a way that I was able to hold them and turn their pages still. I was in the middle of a riveting tale about a boy who never grew up and had his destiny forced upon him and could fly. Perched on one of the tops of the shelves, I was lost in another world of magic.

“I didn’t know you could read,” I heard the same condescending voice from Severus’ potions class earlier that day.

“Little Malfoy,” I smiled down at him, closing my book. “And why would you assume that? I don’t look that stupid, do I?”

“Well, no,” He fumbled. “But you’re a ghost, you’re dead,”

“Yes, and I like to read, anything else?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Don’t call me little Malfoy. My name’s Draco,” He huffed.

“But it annoys you,” I mocked a pout. “And you are a little Malfoy, a bit taller than your father, but young all the same,”

“Who are you calling young? We’re the same age,” His voice raised enough that Pince had to shush him.

“I was born in 1776, I think you’re a little young,”

“1776!?” Draco’s eyes bulged. “But... how? You’re...” Pince hushed him again. I floated down and perched on the desk, trying and failing to contain my laughter.

“Oh, so now you care little Malfoy?” I teased lightly. “What happened to your dismissal of spirits not hours ago?” He didn’t have an answer for that. He just stared and didn’t dare to meet my eyes. “If you really want to know, I’ll tell you some time, but you’re going to be late for McGonagall if you don’t get going,”

Flustered, Draco headed out of the library and I watched him go. Knowing that Remus had a class this hour with the infamous Harry Potter, I headed over and perched on a desk in the back.

“Miss Y/n,” Remus acknowledged, “Perhaps you’d like to aid us today as we learn about ghosts and spirits?” Even though he had grown quite a bit over the years, there was still the same shine in his eyes when he was able to teach—even if it wasn’t a rag-tag group of marauders.

“So... you’re a ghost?” A young Hermione asked, a girl who spent a lot of hours in my library.

“Yes,” I smiled at her. “There are different types of ghosts however,”

“Oh, yes, Poltergeists, Funnels, Whisps, Orbs, and Shades,” She said matter-of-factly.

“Exactly, and Hogwarts has them all,” I looked to Remus who nodded for me to continue. “Most of you know that Peeves is a Poltergeist, a trickster loud ghost. Sometimes they were loud and violent, sometimes... well sometimes you have something like Peeves.” The class laughed.

“I’m sure you all have heard of the Grey Lady?” Remus interjected. “Helena Ravenclaw was murdered by the Bloody Baron and spends the rest of her days here at Hogwarts, they are both what we classify as Funnel ghosts. Ghosts who visit loved ones or loved places,”

“What about Whisps?” An intrigued Weasley asked.

“Well, most others are Whisps,” I explained. “Nearly Headless Nick, the Fat Friar, and most others you see strolling about. There is no strict reason that they’re here, other than they chose not to move on, or felt their work on earth was not completed.”

“Orbs are normally the spirits of animals or humans travelling about,” I continued, “They mainly show up in photographs. It wasn’t till after I died that cameras were invented, and they were found,”

“Any what kind of ghost are you?” A shy kid in the back asked. The class of kids turned to me, all expectant.

“I’m a Shade,” I explained. “It means that when I died, I wasn’t meant to. My soul knowing that, remained, and here I am,”

“Shades are very rare in the Wizarding World,” Remus cut in, “Not many are killed before their time, and many of them are very young,”

“Aren’t Shades allowed to come back though?” Hermione asked. “Because they were wrongfully killed? Doesn’t fate allow them another chance?”

Remus and I shared a look. I remembered when he had asked me that same question when he was no more than a third year as well. There was a solemn sorrow in his eyes.

“Yes,” I answered hesitantly. “There is a possibility, but the odds are almost impossible. Most of them have to do around prophecies.”

Class had ended, and Hermione waved as she went to leave. I lingered behind a bit with Remus for old times’ sake. He was one who had always been kind to me. I was one who never judged him for being a werewolf before he found his marauders.

“Sirius escaped from Azkaban,” He whispered softly, his gaze fixed on the papers on his desk. “I... I thought I was over it. Over him. He had my best friends killed,”

Pity flooded my chest as I hovered over to him, my hand ghosting above his.

“That wasn’t your fault Remus...” Was I going to give away the truth that I knew? Or would I keep it a secret? “And it wasn’t Sirius’ either,”

“How can you say that!” Remus slammed his hand on the desk. “He gave away Lily and James’ location! Then he killed Peter!”

“Remus,” I shook my head. “I can’t tell you everything, because it’s not in the stars, but... your friend isn’t who you think he is,”

A quiet moment passed between us and rather than get upset at me like I had thought he would, he spoke softly and surely.

“You’re... you’re saying there’s hope?”

“There’s always hope,” I offered a soft smile. “For all of us... even me,”

“How are you doing with that? The prophecy?” He asked.

I sighed and shook my head. “I might really be stuck like this for the rest of... forever...” 

“Is there anything...?”

“No,” I denied softly. “Interfering with a prophecy can ruin it,”

“Can,” Remus stressed. “Not that it will,”

“But is it worth that risk?” I countered. “I could lose my one shot to come back. To be human again,”

“If I could be human again, I’d take any chance I could,” Remus’ eyes held a sadness that very few could sympathize with. One of those was me.

“Perhaps you’re right,” I murmured and let him be, drifting around the halls for a bit then back to the library to think some more and maybe find the right answer.

What I didn’t expect to find however was Draco, fast asleep where we had spoken earlier, draped over a few books and handwritten notes. I hadn’t noticed the late hour, sometimes time did elude me, and the days seemed to run together.

I didn’t want to wake the young Malfoy, instead, I peered at the books underneath him. Potions books, it seemed. Supposing that a Slytherin might have a partiality to Snape’s class, there was no need to question why he’d rather work on this subject than the others. Knowing Pince would chase Draco out of the library if he didn’t wake, my notion to not disturb him fell to the wayside.

“Malfoy!” I whispered loudly. “Draco, wake up!”

It was useless to try and shake him awake, I wasn’t able to. I could however pull the book out from under his resting head. So, I did.

“Bloody hell,” Draco grumbled, rubbing his eyes. “What’d you do that for?” 

“You fell asleep?”

“And that was the only way you know how to wake a person?” He snapped, blinking into consciousness.

I gave him a flat look and reached out to touch him. He shied away, but it was in vain because my hand passed right through his material body.

“Oh,” He muttered. “But you can touch the books?”

“Pince and I worked on that together,” I informed him. “Did you think I would spend eternity and not figure out how to read?”

“I... uh,” He stammered, blushing a bit. “How come I’ve never met a ghost like you before?” 

“And that means?” I pressed, perching on the desk.

“Well, all of the other ghosts are... I don’t know... stuck in their ways? Not sad about being ghosts? Haven’t kept up on things like reading?”

“You think I’m sad about being a ghost?” I mused.

“I... you—I mean,” He stammered, looking down in embarrassment. “You just seem... optimistically hopeless,” It was almost mumbled through his exhaustion.

“You know those words have opposite meaning, right?” I teased softly. “And... I’m a Shade. I doubt you’ve met another before like me,”

“A Shade?”

“Do you not pay attention in Remus’ class?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t have his class until tomorrow,” Draco dismayed. “And it’s a stupid class anyway,”

“Defense against the dark arts isn’t stupid,” I refuted. “Especially with Remus teaching it,”

“You knew him then... when he went here. Professor Lupin,” Draco noted.

“Yes,” Lost in thought, a quietness passed before I spoke again. “When you learn what a Shade is, you’ll understand,”

“You could just tell me,” Draco whined, listlessly tired.

“But then you won’t pay attention in class,” I smiled. “Go on to bed, Draco. I’m not going anywhere,”

____________________________

Draco sulked in bed that night, thinking about you. Thinking about what a Shade was. Of course, he didn’t wait for class in the morning, instead he took out his DADA book and began to read up on ghosts. And he read. And read. And read. And barely found anything about what a Shade was. All that he knew was that you died when before your time. Maybe that was why he saw the sadness in your eyes.

He had every intention to be at Lupin’s class that day, but having Mythical Creatures beforehand, things hadn’t gone as planned.

“There’s always one,” Your voice sounded amused. “Why am I not surprised it was you, Little Malfoy?”

“It was the bloody hippogriff,” Draco snapped back.

“And somehow I don’t think that’s the entire truth,” You mused, hovering at his bedside. Until Pomfrey gave him the clear to leave, he was stuck with you.

“Won’t you just leave me alone?” He groaned, closing his eyes and laying back on the lumpy pillows of the hospital cot.

“Did you not want to learn about Shades? You’re going to miss Remus’ class after all,” The smile he heard in your voice made him look over to you, skeptical.

Your offer was tempting. Very tempting. He didn’t care much about magic other than excelling at it, therefore things that didn’t pertain to his advancement—mythical creatures and the like— held no inkling to him. And yet, you were a mystery he didn’t mind learning about. He wanted to know more about you. And you specifically.

“I guess, since I’m stuck here,” He tried to play it off as nonchalance, but you raised an eyebrow at him, seeing right through his charade.

“Well, Little Malfoy,” You hovered and perched on the end of his bed. “What do you know?”

“I... uh. Shades are people who have died before their time,” He stammered, not sure why he was so nervous.

“Quite,” You nodded. “Anything else?”

“Our book didn’t have anything else,” He admitted.

You went pensive a moment then nodded. “I suppose that you’d learn more about me in Divination than the Dark Arts,”

“Divination? You’ve got to be bloody joking! That class is a circus!” Draco exclaimed, wincing when he moved his arm too much.

“Perhaps,” You didn’t berate him, but seemed to be lost in thought once more. “But all Shades are tied to prophecies.”

“All of them?” Draco pressed.

“The fates understand that these souls left before their time, and give them another chance, a prophecy... to come back and live one more time.”

“So, you have the chance to live again?” His genuine curiosity seemed to shock both of you. “How?”

“If the prophecy is fulfilled, then I get to live again,” You said it as if it were obvious. 

“So, why haven’t you, I don’t know... fulfilled it?” Draco asked.

You laughed something sad and soft. “Don’t you think I’ve tried? I’ve read every prophecy, every book, every scribble. I’ve tried everything... after so many centuries, you give up hope and accept your fate,”

“But this wasn’t your fate,” He argued back. “You were meant to live, back then, whatever that life was,”

“Do you know what happened when I was young, before I died, Little Malfoy?” You spoke, and he could hear the age in your voice though you liked no older than he was. It was your sorrow that aged you. He waited for you to continue. “I was born in 1776, the year the Americans went to war with the King of England. At the time we were living in the French countryside with my aunt because my father had gone to fight in the war. He was a general,” A smile ghosted your lips. “My father died in the war... the battle of Yorktown... that’s what it’s called today. Back then it was just a letter and inheritance money that went to my brother,”

“Hang on, you’re saying that your father fought in the American War of Independence? Under the king?”

“So, he can be taught,” You smiled at him. “Yes, the king at the time was a wizard and until parliament and the ministry were born and declared that muggles and wizards should rule themselves. Of course, the ministry was formed in the beginning of that century, but it took the war for them to call the final straw.”

“So, your father died in the war, that doesn’t explain what happened to you,” Draco pointed out, deeply invested.

“Well, tell me, what happened in France after that war ended?”

“The French Revolution,”

Your warm smile had the same effect as the sun. “Yes, and as I said, I was in France at the time, being tutored at home for the summer. Muggle girls weren’t allowed to go to school back then... I travelled to Hogwarts to receive schooling and even then, I was only allowed to learn Herbology and Potions. At least those two classes stayed the same,” You sounded sad and wistful. “But the revolutionists were going for the rich, any sort of rich. And at the time, they saw knowledge as wealth and power, and I had a reputation for being able to read and attending a private school out of the country and well...”

“They killed you because you knew how to read?” Draco distressed, sitting up, enraptured by your tale. “That’s so... stupid,”

“It was. But perhaps it was my own fault, I wouldn’t deny that I could read. I was proud.” Your smile faded again as melancholy settled on your face. “Now it seems that’s all I do. Fate is funny like that...”

“You’re free to go Mr. Malfoy,” Madam Pomfrey’s voice seemed to draw you both from whatever world had been created with your words.

He had to blink a few times to come to grips with the fact that he was currently in the hospital wing at Hogwarts, and not centuries behind, trying to imagine death for the reason of knowledge. There was an awkward moment between the two of you as you both seemed to realize that you were no longer int eh late eighteenth century. You offered a smile and left without another word, a curious look on your face as you left.

That was the last time he saw you that day, and that week for that matter, but he always wondered what you were doing. What were you reading today? What was your prophecy? Was it really as hopeless as you said it was? Was there a reason that he found himself caring?

______________________

“Oh, hello Harry,” I stood from the corner of Remus’ office, intrigued that the young Potter had come. He looked so much like his father that my heart ached for Remus and to imagine what he felt when he saw Harry.

“Y/n,” Harry seemed surprised. “I... uh... you know Professor Lupin?”

“Well I was here when he went to Hogwarts himself, so yes, I’m quite fond of him if you can believe it,” I smiled as Remus eyed the situation.

“Is there something that you needed Harry?” Remus asked, trying to sound professional, but I could hear the sentiment in his voice.

“The map...” Harry turned slightly pink.

A smile grew on my face. “You have the Marauder’s Map?” I almost laughed. “How in the world did you get that? Oh, if your father knew,” I did laugh this time.

Remus shot me a sharp look and Harry looked at me in wonder.

“My father? You knew my father?” The realization seemed to dawn him.

“Yes, well,” Remus interjected sharply. “Don’t get caught again Potter,”

“Why haven’t you told him?” I demanded as soon as Harry left. “Remus, come on, that’s not fair to Harry,”

“I’m not the one to tell him though! I can’t be!” He protested and I could hear the anxiety in his voice.

“Remus, I’ve known you a long time. And I’ve known James and Lily. They would want you to talk to him. They would want you apart of his life,” I argued, or perhaps encouraged softly.

“Maybe you’re right,” Remus mumbled.

“Of course, I am,” I smiled. “It’ll work out Re, with Sirius, and with Harry,” 

“I hope you’re right,”

I left him to his thoughts and on my way to the library, I was ambushed by the younger Potter. Not that I wasn’t expecting it, I knew that Harry would have questions for me as soon as he knew I knew his father.

“Hello Harry,” I smiled.

“You know about my dad,” He burst out, hope in his eyes and tone.

“And your mother,” I smiled and perched on the windowsill nearby.

“Can you tell me about them? Please?” His eyes went glossy with tears that he blinked away.

“Your mother was bold, but still kind and gentle. She looked out for the little guy. She rooted for the underdog and protected the younger years of any House. She was always kind to me. Her and Remus both.” The memory was fond, if it was a memory. Did ghosts have memories after they were dead?

“And my dad?” He clung to every word.

“He... was a bit like you. Always finding trouble whether it was his fault or not. Totally deserved to be smacked a few times... but the war changed him. He grew up rather quickly. Into a protective caring young man. Almost everyone had eyes for him, but he only saw your mother,”

“Do... you think they would be proud of me?” His gaze dropped to his beat-up sneakers. 

“Harry,” I called his attention. “You’re their son, they’ll always be proud of you,” 

“But—”

“No buts,” I interjected. “That’s all it takes for you to make them proud, I promise,”

He nodded and mumbled a thanks before taking off toward the Gryffindor dorm. Finding solace in the library, I began to read again. Maybe a week had passed. Perhaps two. I wasn’t sure. I was so wrapped up in my books that I became lost to time. Until a blond-haired boy came in, his nose stuck in a book.

“I was wondering when I’d see you again Little Malfoy,” I smiled, from my perch in the library. He didn’t acknowledge me, causing me to frown. “Draco?” I ghosted down and perched on the table next to him. “Are you ghosting a ghost?”

Though he ignored me I could see the smile that twitched at his lips. That gave me little hope. “Is everything alright?” I asked, genuine concern coloring my voice.

“Ask Potter,” Draco snapped. “You seem to fancy him lately,”

“Excuse me?” I was taken aback. “Harry? He just wanted to know about his parents, that’s all,” 

Draco frowned at this and he finally looked at me. “His parents?”

“Yes,” I rolled my eyes. “It’s not like he has a lot of people who know his parents and are willing to tell him anything. Dumbledore has made almost everyone vow not to talk to him, but what good is a vow to someone who’s already in the grave?” I shrugged. “Poor kid knows nothing,”

���I...” Draco didn’t seem to have the words. Instead he looked back down at his book. I smiled and rolled my eyes at his antics.

“If you care that much, you are still my favorite Little Malfoy,” His cheeks tinged pink and I laughed. “You’re something else Malfoy, you know that?”

“Says the girl who died for admitting that she could read instead of lying,” He raised an eyebrow at me. I chuckled and shrugged.

“Says the boy who avoided me for what, two weeks, because I talked to a boy about his dead parents,” I mused.

“It wasn’t two weeks,” Draco grumbled. “Nine days,” 

“Oh, forgive me,” I laughed. “Nine days.”

He smiled and looked back down at his notes. I think it was the first time I had ever seen him smile and not sneer.

“So, nine days,” He prompted. “I assume you haven’t left the library... read anything interesting?”

I laughed and somehow the hours passed as Draco and I spoke about books and stories we had read as kids, and the ones we were currently invested in. It shocked me to know that he was an avid reader, of fantasy novels, nonetheless. Though I had read just about everyone that he had mentioned, there were a few that I added to my mental list of his that I said I would check out. He seemed sincerely happy at my interest of the books he read.

“Father thought they were childish,” He muttered when I asked him about it. “Fairytales and fantasies,”

“That’s stupid,” I scoffed, and Draco gaped at me, aghast that I would dare to call something his father said ‘stupid.’ It made me pause. “You... you know you don’t have to always agree with your parents,”

His gaze cast downward. “I don’t want to disappoint them,”

My face furrowed. “You’re they’re son, that’s enough for them to be proud,”

“You don’t know my parents,” He scoffed, leaning back in his chair. “I think the last time they were proud of me, is when I was sorted into Slytherin.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” I protested.

“You don’t know my parents,” Draco argued again.

“I do,” I retorted. “Or I did,”

The notion seemed to dawn on Draco as he stared up at me with wonder in his eyes. 

“You did,” He realized. “Can you tell me about them... have they always been so...” 

“Strict?” I offered.

“Suffocating,” Draco supplied.

I pressed my lips together and thought a moment.

“Your father, perhaps. I never spoke to him much, and he never paid me mind. But you mother,” I smiled at the memories that came flooding back. “She was bold, cunning. She loved her sisters with a fierce passion.” My smile. “The three of them were some of the brightest witches I’d ever seen,” I glanced over to him. “You have her eyes, her same spirit,”

A smile drew on his lips as his face turned a soft shade of pink. “Do you know that because you’re a ghost?” He mused.

“No, I’m just a girl who can read character pretty well. After seeing so many faces pass through here, and reading so many stories, there are those who stand out and stay with you. Your mother... she stood out to me. And I can see her in your eyes,” My demeanor softened as I realized the words I was saying and if I could have, I would have blushed.

“Thank you,” He whispered as the clock chimed a late hour.

“You should head back,” I sighed softly. “Get some rest,”

“Why don’t I ever see you near the Slytherin dorm?” Draco asked, gathering his things. 

“I’d rather not cross paths with the Baron,” I admitted.

“The Baron? Why?” Draco frowned; his bag slung over his shoulder.

“Never you mind,” I smiled. “Get to bed Little Malfoy,”

“Don’t call me that,” He grumbled, trudging out of the library.

The night progressed as did the month and I went from one book to another, soon searching for a book I hadn’t in a long time. My diary from when I was alive. Published as its own book that I had found a few decades ago. Tucked into the pages was what held my fate. My prophecy.

I went to the shelf in which I knew my book had its home, but it wasn’t there. Instead a sliver of time carved away by my missing book. Drifting over to Pince I asked her about where my book had gone. She told me that Malfoy had checked it out and had it for about a week—since the day we spent in the infirmary together.

For the first time in a long time I felt... embarrassed that my story and thoughts were on display for anyone to read. I never cared before, but this felt different.

Cursing the late hour, I knew that there was no way to get to Draco now. The Bloody Baron was protective about other ghosts coming into the Slytherin dorms. I’d have to find him in the morning then. I considered loitering outside the Slytherin portrait, but I also did not want to go anywhere near the Bloody Baron. I had heard and read enough.

So instead I headed to the Astronomy Tower to watch the stars again, having silent conversations with them, wondering if they’d ever grant me life again.

“You’re glowing,”

The voice startled me enough that I actually jumped. The irony of scaring a ghost. I turned to see Draco behind me, his eyes glued to my shimmering skin.

“Yes, all ghosts do it under the moon and stars,” I noted. “By the way, can I have my book back?” I stood, going over to him.

“Your book?” He questioned.

“My book,” I restressed. “My diary? That you have from the library? The one that has my—” I stopped myself.

“Your prophecy.” Draco finished, offering me the book that he had drawn from his robes. “Yeah, I know.”

I stared at him curiously, pulling the book back into the security of my arms, where it belonged. That uncertain feeling returned to my chest.

“You know it’s rude to read a girl’s diary,” I retorted, defensive.

“It’s a published book in the library, anyone can read it,” Draco rolled his eyes. I gave him a flat look and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “So, have you figured out what it means?”

I sighed softly and shook my head in defeat. “The only thing I’m sure of is the great star is Sirius,”

“Sirius, like Sirius Black? Escaped Azkaban criminal?” Draco exasperated.

“Well, the star is his name sake. But I’m sure you of all people know that Draco,” I raised an eyebrow at him. “Your family has a knack for celestial namesakes. If I remember correctly, Sirius is your mother’s cousin,”

“What?” Draco demanded. “No! There is no way!”

“Draco,” I reached out for him in vain as he paced in anger and confusion. “Draco will you calm down?” I nearly shouted.

“Calm down!? How can I when I know that I’m related to that criminal!?” He demanded.

“Sirius isn’t a criminal!” I argued back. “He didn’t kill Peter or those people!” I gasped, covering my mouth in shame, my eyes wide. That was a secret that I wasn’t supposed to tell.

“What do you mean he didn’t kill those people?” Draco sneered, stalking up to me.

“I—I’m not supposed to...” I took a step back, ghostly tears welling in my eyes. “I wasn’t supposed to... Merlin,” I cried, sliding to the ground.

Draco’s demeanor changed from anger to worried and concerned. Not that I noticed through my distress. I felt as if I had just betrayed one of my best friends.

“Y/n, what... what in the world are you talking about?” Draco asked sitting beside me, a failed attempt to reach out and comfort me.

“I promised. I promised I wouldn’t tell what I knew until the time was right,” I sobbed. “Bloody hell, he’ll never trust me again,” I squeaked.

“Who?” Draco demanded.

I looked at him, wide eyed with fear, shaking my head softly. “I... I can’t. I’m sorry Draco,”

I dematerialized and rematerialized in a quiet portion of the castle grounds, away from the rest of the students, among the woods. The trees welcomed me and the further I walked in, the less tied to the castle I felt. I came to a lake and sat beside it. Crying tears that would never fall in my undead state, I stared at the water and my lack of reflection.

“I’m so sorry Sirius,” I wept softly. “I didn’t mean to tell him... I was just defending you,”

“I’m surprised you kept the secret this long,”

Again, I jumped, startled by the voice behind me.

“Hey there Spooks,” Sirius gave a lopsided smile, the years in Azkaban resting in his eyes and in the lines on his face.

“Sirius,” I gasped. “What are you doing? It’s not safe here!” I protested.

“I couldn’t leave my girl to cry, now could I?” He smirked, before his expression sobered.

 “You should,” I sniffed. “I’m so sorry Sirius, it slipped out,”

“I know,” He held his hands up in a calming effort. “I knew it would, and it’s okay. Who did you tell? It wasn’t Moony was it?”

“No,” I looked down. “But you need to tell him Sirius, he deserves to know,”

“He won’t even talk to me. He thinks that I betrayed James and Lily and killed all of his friends,” Sirius toed at the dirt—the same tick he had in his Hogwarts years when he had been caught in a lie or prank.

“But you didn’t,” I protested. “He still loves you Sirius, I can see it in his eyes and when he talks about you and James...”

“He—no,” Sirius shook his head. “That’s not for you to worry about,”

“Do not make me mother you,” I threatened. “Talk to Remus,”

“I will,” Sirius sighed. “When the time is right,”

“As a girl who’s waited for centuries for the right time... talk to him as soon as you can,” There was a pity-filled look on his face that I brushed off.

“Any luck with that? Your prophecy?” He seemed almost hopeful.

“No,” I sighed. “But there is one who took the time to ask this year. Like Remus did his first year,” The memory was a soft spot for both of us.

“You were his first friend,” Sirius smiled at the same memory. “So, who is it this year?” 

“Little Malfoy,”

Sirius snorted. “We both know you don’t have a sense of humor, drop the act,”

“I’m ser—” He gave me a look and I paused to rephrase. “I’m telling the truth. It was Draco who asked, who read my diary, and knows about the prophecy,” I hesitated. “He’s also the one I told,” My gaze dropped to the ground waiting for the backlash.

“Malfoy!?” Sirius demanded. “You told Malfoy!?”

“I’m sorry! I told you I was sorry!” I shouted back, bristling, feeling my body shudder. Sirius seemed to notice and took a few paces away and composed himself.

I dared to speak. “All he knows is that you didn’t kill Peter. That’s all. I’m so sorry Sirius,” I turned, and he was gone. “Fine! Leave!” I shouted. “Like always... like everyone...”

I let out a scream of frustration that was carried away with the wind. Letting out a sigh of defeat I wandered up to the castle again.

“Y/n?” For the third time tonight, I jumped at the call of my name. It was Draco again.

 “Draco, look,” I started. “I...”

“No,” He stopped me softly. “I’m sorry... I...” He shook his head and took off down the hall towards the Slytherin dorms. Chasing after him, he was too far gone, and I was face to face with the Baron.

“Oh, could this night get any worse?” I shouted to no one in particular. “I don’t mean to trespass, apologies.”

“Stay out of my territory and away from my students, you little harlot,” The Baron sneered. 

“Gladly,” I growled back. “Arse,” I muttered as I ghosted back to the upper levels of the castle.

Utterly lost on what to do, I found myself by the Black Lake, staring up at the moon and stars. I stayed there until the sun rose over the dark waters, painting the valleys in a golden light. I remained there, watching the sun and moon dance in the sky in an unchangeable waltz that continued for eternity.

“They said you were out here,”

I didn’t jump this time at the sound of his voice as the moon rose to her duet again.

“Hello, Draco,” I murmured softly. “Come to watch the stars with me?”

“Sure,” I could hear the smile in his voice as he sat beside me on the bank of the lake, the only sound was the music of the night, the lake lapping at the small beach, and his gentle breaths.

“I... I’m really sorry,” He murmured softly. “For that night, I didn’t mean to get so angry. I wasn’t upset with you...” Silence fell softly between us. “My parents never told me... I wrote to my mother...” My eyes widened as I gazed over at him, his pale skin almost having the same affect that mine did in the moon light. “I never knew...”

“I’m sorry,” I offered.

“Merlin don’t apologize to me,” He laughed hopelessly.

“Well I did sort of freak out on you, so... sorry.”

He shrugged and his gaze fixed on the moonlit water. “My father thinks it’s absurd that I’m talking to you... and I think my mother is slightly worried about me for it,”

“Any particular reason?” I mused.

“Father has always been against those different than him in any way... my mother probably worries that I’m not making friends...talking to ghosts...” A smile toyed at his lips at the mention of his mother.

“Are we not friends then?” I teased lightly, causing him to laugh.

“Sure,” He rolled his eyes at me, this time causing me to laugh. “Do you miss them?” He asked after a quiet moment.

“Who?”

“Your parents... your family?” He seemed almost afraid to ask.

I pondered the question. “Yes, sometimes... but I’ve spent a lot of years wasting tears that will never fall over people I can never see again... you move on and learn to live after a while... well as much as a ghost can live,”

“You can’t cry, can you?” He came to the fact easier and saner than most did.

I shook my head. “I can feel bitter sorrow, the worst loss, but I can never shed a tear,” I chuckled humorlessly. “The irony, I have the most to mourn and I can’t even cry,”

“I’m sorry,”

I shrugged. “I’ve lived a long time without being able to cry... just reminds me that I’ll never be quite human again,”

“But you could be,” He had more hope than I ever had about the fact. 

“Yeah,” I scoffed. “That stupid prophecy,”

“I don’t think it’s stupid,”

“You’ve haven’t spent centuries wondering what it meant,” I argued back:

“In the days when evil lurks around every corner; 

The condemned will become innocent; 

And the innocent will become condemned; 

True love can reanimate a deceased heart; 

Under the star of Great Dog; 

She will become alive as time is altered; 

Two souls will be set free that day as the star takes her place.”

“True love,” I scoffed again; my lips pressed together. “Like some sort of stupid fairytale,” 

“I thought you said that fairytales weren’t stupid,” Draco raised an eyebrow at me smirking.

“They’re not,” I rolled my eyes. “Believing that there’s true love out there to save me? That’s stupid,”

“Then maybe there’s no hope for any of us,” Draco sighed. “If someone like you can’t find true love, where’s the hope for the rest of us,”

A smile ghosted me lips at his words as I looked over to him, his eyes still trained on the water.

“You’re really sweet sometimes, you know that Malfoy?” His eyes darted to mine as his cheeks tinged pink.

“Will you come back inside?” He asked softly. “The library isn’t as interesting without you there,”

“Sure,” I smiled warmly at him.

Fall turned to winter turned to spring, and Draco and I spent a lot more time together than I cared to admit. He was almost easier to talk to than anyone else I had met. And that was saying something, because I knew Remus Lupin, who was fascinated with my fascination of the young Malfoy.

But all the same, I found myself crave Draco’s company more and more and cursing the Baron for not letting me see him while he was in his dorm. It was rough when he came down with a cold and I wasn’t able to see him for a week. No number of books could distract me from the fact that he wasn’t there to talk to. That he wasn’t here to talk to me. I had never missed anyone like this before.

But when he felt better, we’d press curfew to mere minutes just to get another word in with each other. Then he’d have to be human and I’d have to remember that I didn’t belong in his world and never could. It didn’t stop me, however, from finding and talking to him the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

Then there was a day in late spring that caught my attention as Sirius had finally gotten to Harry and his friends, but things had gone from bad to worse as I watched the scene unfold, doing the only thing I could think of, I spirited away to find Remus. He would know what to do, he would know how to help.

After I had explained what I had seen, Remus grabbed his wand and took off towards the Whomping Willow. I followed him, and as soon as I left the castle, I felt the dark presence of the dementors around me.

“No!” I shouted, going up to meet them, and for the first time in a long time gave into my spiritual power, long enough to hold them off and let Remus pass through safely.

I hovered over the Shrieking Shack, keeping the dementors as bay, away from Sirius, away from Remus. They didn’t dare to go near my pure light that was amplified by the full moon. Soon I saw the three of them emerge, Peter in chains, when the light of the full moon hit my little Remus.

With a cry of desperation, I did my best to keep the dementors away as I watched the horrors unfold before me before I couldn’t take it any long and chased after Remus, who was not a wolf into the wood.

“Remus!?” I shouted; my voice lost with the wind. “Remus, it’s me! Please come out!” I caught sight of Hermione and Harry and gestured that they should leave, and quickly. “Remus!?”

I heard a growl and turned, seeing golden scared eyes. 

“Hey,” I cooed softly. “You’re alright, you can’t hurt me,” 

A pained howl left his lips.

“I know,” I replied. “But you’re going to be alright, let get you back, yeah? To Prongs and Pads, they’re waiting for you.” Tears I wanted to cry weren’t shed at the pitiful heartbreaking whine that left his lips.

But he let me lead him back to the Shrieking Shack all the same. I stayed with him until McGonagall and Dumbledore came. There was a soft thank you from the both of them. I drifted back to the castle, pacing in anxiety.

“Y/n?” It was Draco’s voice. I turned.

“Draco, it’s not safe!” I squeaked. “What are you doing out of bed!?”

“I had to see you,” He confessed. “There are rumors, about Black and Lupin... I thought you’d... Are you alright?”

“Draco, really,” I glanced around, cursing that I couldn’t drag him inside to where it was safer. “It’s not safe for you out here,”

“Bloody hell, Y/n, what about you!?”

“I’m already dead! So, unless you’d like to join me!” I shouted, realizing after the fact what I had said. “Draco, I didn’t mean that,”

“You’re keeping things from me,” It was a broken accusation. “About Sirius, about Remus,”

“Draco, please,” I pulled away. “I... I have to go, I have to make sure that he’s alright,” My eyes trailed up to the top of the tower, knowing that I may have been the reason that Sirius was in chains again.

“No!” Draco shouted, drawing my attention.

He had never demanded anything of me before, not like this. It wasn’t the fact that he told me to stop, it was the notion that he had found his own voice in it that caused me to pause. I waited for him to continue.

“I’ve spent all year, all of my three years here, knowing you, and getting to know you and I’m not going to let you walk away again! I want to know! I don’t want this you can’t tell me act. If anyone, you can tell me. Can’t you trust me? Please,” His voice broke, unshed tears in his eyes.

“Draco,” My non-material heart broke a bit as he stood before me, vulnerable. Shaking and terrified I nodded. “Remus... is a werewolf. Sirius is an Animagus. Peter betrayed the Potters, and Sirius went to confront him. Peter faked his death and killed all those people and it was blamed on Sirius...” In my nervousness I began to ramble:

“...and Sirius and Remus confronted Peter tonight and Harry and his friends were there and I had to fight off dementors so that Sirius would be okay because I couldn’t bear to see him get hurt for something he didn’t do and then I had to go and help Remus because it’s a full moon and he won’t hurt me but for the love of merlin he will hurt you so will you please go inside!”

Draco gaped at me, in utter disbelief.

“Please Draco, go inside,”

“Only if you come with me,” He recovered.

My thoughts for Sirius were forgotten as I took a step closer to him. Instead, all I could see and focus on was the heartbreak on his face and the hand that he held out for me. A hand that I wanted to accept but knew that I couldn’t because I would phase right through him. Never had I loathed being dead so much but in that moment when all I wanted to do was comfort him.

For the first time in almost two hundred years, tears slid down my cheeks. I barely noticed. 

“Please,” His voice shook as did his hand as it remained extended to me. “Please, Y/n,” 

The moon fell behind the mountains as the sun shed her first light onto us.

And with reckless abandon, I reached out for him, for his hand. In desperation and false hope, closing my eyes, knowing my heart would never break more that in the next few moments for not being a part of his world.

Then my hand felt softness and warmth.

I gasped and jerked back, and Draco seemed to realize this as I did.

“You just...” He stammered.

“I...” Trembling, I held my hand up, the sunlight no longer passing through it but refracting off of it. I finally reached up and felt the wetness of tears on my cheeks as I gasped in pure joy.

“I’m human,” I laughed, “I’m human!” I marveled at my rosy skin and the soft green fabric of my dress as I felt the grass beneath my feet. After a moment, I, at last, looked to Draco, who seemed to be frozen in a state of wonder and disbelief, and almost... scared.

“Draco,” I called softly, “It’s me,” I offered my hand to him, the grin not leaving my face. 

“You’re... and...”

I nodded and smiled, taking a step closer to him. “Not scared of ghosts, are you?” I teased softly.

He finally laughed and took my hand, pulling me close, into the comfort of his arms. I began to cry again because for the first time in two hundred and fifty years, I was hugged. I clung to him, my fingers marveling at the softness of his shirt, trailing up into his hair.

“Merlin,” Draco pulled away softly. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this,”

Before I could ask him what he meant—or argue that I had been waiting longer than he ever had—he pressed his lips to mine, and in that moment, I swear I could have died all over again in his arms.

.

In the days when evil lurks around every corner, 

The condemned will become innocent,

And the innocent will become condemned.

True love can reanimate a deceased heart, 

Under the star of Great Dog,

She will become alive as time is altered; 

Two souls will be set free that day as the star takes her place.

.

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