#i have all of season 1 outlined so far

[curioussubjects]

Kara has ADHD in every episode: Miniseries (1/2)

[thechekhov]

Hey Chekhov! How do you start converting an AU idea from character sheets and mini comics into a plot outline for a full, continuous comic? Especially if the series you're basing it on isn't complete?

I've been following your white diamond Steven comics for years, and frankly, I love how it builds and continues the scaffolding canon laid to be something that is thematically still the same but also very unique. And I never thought I'll ever say this, but now I'm working on a canon-divergent AU with someone that's I think aiming to do something similar(continue the themes of canon but different). So I'll just like some advice, I suppose!

You might've answered something like this before, honestly, but I tried to dig a little and couldn't really find it.

Thanks, if you do answer this! I just want take the opportunity as well to say also that your comic and blog accompanied me through parts of my late teens, and I'm very grateful for you being a stabilizing influence during that time.

Thank you! I really appreciate you saying that, and I appreciate you respecting me enough to ask for advice.

As for your question...

Well, to be frank, I don't START with character sheets and mini-comics. In fact, for WD!AU, I didn't have any character sheets until I started season 2.

Think of your story as an aquarium. Your characters are fish.

Yes, they're important, but having a whole bunch of fish without any substrate, tanks, feed and WATER..... will not really make for a memorable aquarium experience.

The reality is that all stories should start with an end.

That's my personal approach, anyway.

What I mean is - you need to know the general idea for your story before you begin to write or plan it.

Let's try this:

1.Tell me about your story in THREE sentences!

Just three. Not long ones, just regular ones.

For my AU, @ask-whitepearl-and-steven, it would be:

"A young orphan runs away from home with a mysterious lady who seems more cryptid than human. He realizes that he's not human either - he used to be the ruler of an alien planet! He and the other aliens he meets decide to (REDACTED) (REDACTED) (REDACTED) and he (REDACTED) (REDACTED) (READACTED) (READ ANDCTED) (READ AND FIND OUT)."

YOU should know how YOUR story ends too! Even vaguely.

It helps if you know at what point you plan to lay down the pencil. Because if you DO know, you are always going to know which direction to walk in, even if the end is so far away it's beyond your line of sight.

It's true that when I began WDAU, I didn't have much information about White Diamond and white Pearl, because they had literally ONLY been introduced. I had to guess a lot of the details (like WP being Pink's originally) and what White would be capable of. And thankfully, my original intent for the story's end fit pretty well with what was later revealed!

But don't forget - you could also just fuck around with stuff! It's your story, after all.

And don't forget... to also look back!

2.Tell me WHY the story is happening in the first place.

There's a reason that the beginning of your story happens when it does. If there is no reason to start somewhere, then find a different place to start.

You should be able to tell me "We're picking up the story here because something significant has happened... and that significant thing happened BECAUSE...."

That 'because' is your main background information that should be revealed slowly throughout the story. In WDAU's case, we only have a few pieces of the puzzle. We know Greg's side. He know Earl's side. But there are still little bits and pieces missing! And they're all important for finding out WHY Steven ended up an orphan and WHY he is being followed by White Pearl (Earl) at the very start of the comic!

3.Tell me what the coolest and most interesting things to happen would be....and then write them!

I think this may be something that's rarely said out loud, but I will speak on the behalf of the people...

We should write the scenes we want to read. If you don't want to read the scene you're writing, then DON'T write it!

If you feel like you "have to" do a page and a half of 'lore' because you think it's traditional to have that 'explanation' about the location of your story, or the history of the species or whatever, you're simply wrong. There are other ways to reveal information aside from just forced paragraphs upon paragraphs of information that would make an SAT Reading Section sweat.

Instead, I recommend that you find the most exciting or hilarious way for the characters to discover the most important bits of info. Find a dramatic twist. Shove it into the narrative. Then, figure out what needs to happen to get there.

Ultimately, though, remember this: When you're taking advice from me or from others, don't forget to take advice from yourself, too! It's your story, after all. You know it best, and only YOU can figure out how to get it written.

I hope that helps at least a little bit! Writing it never easy, but it should still be enjoyable!

[motimatcha]

"nostromo"

PART 1. The Nostromo Killer.

parts: one | two | three | four | five

dbd Xenomorph (alien) x fem!reader. attention: not detailed murder, feeling of fear, chase. I'm a vicious child of the internet and I have nothing to be ashamed of! And so are you.

The World of the Essence is multifaceted and large, but even taking into account this knowledge, hardly anyone could imagine something like this. The knowledge of where you ended up naturally appears in your head: the Nostromo crash site is a location unknown to anyone, large and open, with a minimum number of bushes in which you could hide from the soulless eyes of the killer, but you were pleased with a large number of smooth, different-sized stones, behind which, theoretically, you can hide.

You found yourself alone. On one side there was an exit from the monster’s lair, on the other side there was a smoking and collapsing spaceship, which was ready to explode at any moment if a person stepped on board carelessly. Your gaze glances across the sky, and although you know that it is not real, you cannot help but be surprised by its beauty: a large satellite against the backdrop of billions of stars illuminates your path in the darkness.

However, there was not a second to lose if you wanted to at least escape from the Nostromo; the four of them could only hope and pray to the Entity to escape.

There is a generator behind you, two more stand out against the gray background inside the fallen ship - it is better to get rid of this triangle, first of all, without giving the killer an advantage. This was a new trend - a fashion - for the “triangle”, as other survivors called this phenomenon, and it must be said that it was very successful, since not many managed to break this vicious “circle” and escape, at least through the hatch.

Thinking about this and hoping that the new (really new?) killer won’t figure this out, you finish repairing the generator, when at the same second you hear a scream from one of your comrades. Very far away, the aura is barely visible, and you can only see a vague red dot between the opened outline of another generator and the two previous ones. A lump forms in your throat, and cold sweat runs down your temple. The thoughts in your head become chaotic: should you go to the rescue? Continue repairing generators? What if someone has already gone to help and you lose precious time?

You can't take risks in new terrain. You don't know where the windows and planks are to escape the killer, and the limited number of places to hide only makes matters worse. With heavy thoughts, your only solution is to continue repairing the generators and hope that someone will save the wounded man.

It's loud and scary on board the Nostromo. Jets of either hot or hungry steam emerge from all the cracks, sparks are heard from damaged equipment, and blood and its smell will forever remain on board. You walk around a couple of corpses of former crew members, trying not to even look at the cause of their death. Every step you take echoes through the empty corridors, but eventually you reach another generator in splendid isolation. The equipment turns out to be a little more than half wound up; Apparently, before being hung on a hook, someone was painstakingly fixing the local generator.

“Thanks for your hard work…” You close your eyes for a second to show your mental gratitude to the other survivor before getting to work. You're almost done with the generator before you make a ridiculously stupid mistake. Sparks, a loud explosion and nervously shaking hands. - “If only he didn’t come! If only he hadn’t come!” - you pray, frantically sorting through the wires in the generator, just to make up for the lost result.

Somewhere below there is a noise of muffled groans. Man, old man… apparently it's Bill! He was repairing the generator and was able to escape from the killer. A joyful thought crosses your mind, but immediately disappears when the seasoned veteran suddenly falls to the ground from the blow, an inhuman cry of victory is heard.

Heart beats faster, like a cornered animal. Thudum, thudum, thudum, thudum.

You walk away from the generator as if from a red-hot piece of iron, afraid to even look in its direction. There were seconds left before you could finish it to one hundred percent, but the fear for your own life was much stronger. Peering out of a hole in the spaceship's hull, you notice a new killer - a creature from outer space. Moving on four legs, having sharp claws as a weapon and a long tail similar to the edge of a knife, you understand that it is unlikely that anyone will be able to escape.

Bill was lucky, he was the first to suffer.

The creature, clad in a durable black shell, lifted the man in front of him to carry him to the nearest hook. Having seen a lot in his life, the old man did not resist, he himself understood that he could not escape the grip of the Entity under his ribs, and therefore did not delay the moment. With a wave passing through the earth, the Entity took the first survivor into its possession. At the same time, like a ray of hope, another generator was repaired. If you return to fixing your generator now, the three survivors will be able to escape.

That's what you thought. So you set to work with enthusiasm, and then one woman’s scream was heard, then another… and now you were left alone, on the Nostromo, next to the working generator. Going somewhere seemed risky, but you could try to save someone still hanging on the hook, while simultaneously praying that you wouldn’t get caught.

Climbing up the wall on trembling legs, you take a bold step forward. Then the second, third, and so on until you reach a fork: you can go straight to your first generator or turn left, going to the last generator from the triangle where your comrades are hanging. It was impossible to take a detour, if only because you would lose precious time and other survivors, by the time you came to the rescue, would sooner find themselves in the arms of the Entity. You had no options…

What had once been a meeting hall or a dining room was now a deplorable sight, because half of the spaceship was shamelessly destroyed and its fragments here and there were stuck deep into the ground. Having looked around the clearing under your feet and the crash site, you quickly find Claudette’s gaze and a girl unknown to you hanging a little behind.

“No! Get out of here!” Morel screams heart-rendingly before engaging in battle with the entity. “He's behind… behind you!” the last thing the girl manages to shout before the spider-like appendage of the Entity pierced her stomach and lifted her into the air. The stranger followed her.

It was scary to turn around. It seems that if you don’t look at the problem, it will disappear on its own, but in reality you feel and hear heavy footsteps behind you, the grinding of metal from the collision with the tail blade, and breathing. Hot, heavy, wet. The creature stands close behind you, with the skin of your back you can clearly feel the loaded plates and bones of the exoskeleton. Thick saliva drips onto your shoulder, viscous, like glue, and will be difficult to wash off your clothes.

“God, what are these thoughts in my head?” - a thought occurs to you before a nervous chuckle escapes your lips. This is from nerves, from the awareness of imminent death.

The creature hisses, its voice is surprisingly high and shrill, and then next to your head, almost centimeters away, there is an incomprehensible something. Everything is covered in saliva, it turns slightly at an angle, first one way, then the other, and the fangs (God, it has fangs!) seem to bite the air. Or maybe it sniffs like that?

There is no strength left to move. Not when there is a strange something dangerously close to your head, the owner of which is standing behind your back, one of whose arms can clasp your entire body and inadvertently break it. You don't want to check the latter. The creature speaks again, and then you understand – it’s time to run!

The energy accumulated over many seconds passes into the legs. You start from your place, as Meg taught you, and run straight along the stones and pieces of metal. The creature, slightly behind you, ran after you and tried to hook you with its sharp claws; slash across the back, and deep enough to leave scars. And although the latter will still disappear, they will be cured in the world of essence, the feeling of blood on the back, skin torn to the flesh and bones, is not pleasant. You turn sharply to the side, just at the moment when a huge paw whistles dangerously close behind you and rushes towards another, smaller, destroyed spaceship.

Perhaps out of fear, but you thought there was a hatch there.

Luck was on your side. Perhaps the offering in the form of a jar of Vigo worked, or maybe the entity itself decided to take pity on you, but you manage to get to the hatch. And before you fall into the fog, you sneak a second to look behind yourself.

The killer stands motionless in place. The killer is watching. And you understand

It is remembered It is developing.

this paragraph:

This work was written as part of the game dead by daylight, because, despite my familiarity with films, it is simply easier for me to write in the setting of this game. If you're not familiar with the game, but want to read how the Xenomorph does its dark work, you're welcome.

should have been at the beginning of the text. I decided to remove it, don’t ask why.

[blakbonnet]

AUTHOR OF THE WEEK: @soupbtch

Ever read a fic and go "they're so 😭" - that's every single Danny fic to me, aka today's second aotw feature, and god, what an amazingly talented author they are.

I'm so glad you decided to write and grace us with your lovely and bonkers fics, because I cannot imagine the OFMD fic world without your incredible Every Part of You series. I cannot imagine logging into this website without another incredible post from you. Every single thing you write (and do) leaves me in stitches and then, more often than not, you straight up chair your friends with your ultra soft way of writing how much they love each other - in between the much needed elbow fucking. You are such an amazingly kind person - hilarious, supportive, and the best cheerleader 💕 Thank you for answering my questions:

What's your writing process like? Do you start with the beginning or the end? Do you write in order or as the scenes come to you?

I start with a pretty detailed outline because if I don’t go in with a plan, I’ll drop threads and/or write myself in circles. Then I have my outline open on half of my screen while I have a separate doc open on the other half where I’m actually writing. I write in order from beginning to end.

Favourite trope or headcanon you like to explore while writing? (Things like Ed's sweet tooth, Stede's ability to bury his feelings etc)

I have a lot of fun writing angst, so I think any facet of that I can explore is a good time. Weigh them down with insecurities and see how far I can bend them with external factors like plot points, each other, or other characters before they snap. So things like Stede believing he ruins everything he touches, Ed believing he doesn’t deserve fine things, and how they both stand in the way of their own happiness because of these feelings. I also love exploring like, the horrible communication skills Ed and Stede have with each other when it comes to their emotions, and setting up story beats where that intercommunication can break down. Because they’re idiots (affectionate).

Whose voice is easier to write - Ed or Stede? Why?

Ed for sure. I find him very easy to connect with, emotionally. All my favorite characters think they’re unlovable monsters and no, this says NOTHING about me personally, etc etc etc.

Your personal favourite thing you've written that you'd like more people to read

Red Skies at Night! It's modern au, but they're still on a boat! If you like slow burn, bitchy Stede, Ed with a tongue piercing, fun costumes, and a big dash of pining, I def recommend checking it out!! ❤️

What is the one word that you think you use a lot?

The one that comes to mind is ‘blink.’ Kind of a funny one, but to me, it’s such a juicy way to imply so much while saying so little, so I know I use it frequently. Stede asks, “Do you trust me?” and Ed blinks back at him as he tries to work out why that question hits him like a truck (because the answer is a very easy yes). Ed says, “You make me happy,” and Stede blinks back at him in awe (because Stede? Making someone happy? That can’t be true). You get it.

Do you have a beta reader? Have they made you a better writer?

Yes, Beedle (@sleepystede) and Connie (@spirker) have both beta read for me! They’ve helped me tremendously with flow and rewording awkward sentences, and I’ve improved a lot from their feedback. Connie has also been invaluable to bounce ideas off of for new fics and just generally pushing me to be more creative through her never-ending support and big beautiful brain.

Why OFMD 🥹

I loved season 1 when I first watched it, but as soon as I saw the season 2 trailer, something clicked in my brain. Where season 1 was slow burn, will-they-won’t-they, is this real or are they queerbaiting, season 2 was posing itself as very, very clearly queer. Stede is going to get his man. That’s it, that’s the show. Undisguised, unabashed, unapologetic gay yearning and gay romance. There are a million other things I can say, but I think it really all comes down to that. What a gift. No one does it like our show. 💖

Please head over to @ofmdlovelyletters (who also made the header) and send your love to all your favourite authors (and authors of the week 😈 watch that blog for some special letters coming your way)

[queermediaanysis]

So a lot is bothering me about the narrative structure of season two. If I didn’t have my own novel to work on and didn’t have several more edits commissioned, I’d write a fix-it fic for all of season two to fix the narrative stuff and to really delve into character arcs that felt off. Maybe I will anyway. Idk. If someone who actually has time wants to take any or all of this and write a fic, go for it. Can’t wait to read it. Anyway, this is a very rough outline that’s subject to change if I do write the fic, but from a developmental editing perspective, here’s my two cents nobody asked for on season 2:

Thematic elements: Atonement and coping with trauma, the crew leaving (especially in regards to Stede’s emotional wound where he’s worried about people being better off without him) and identity (especially in regards to Ed/Stede/Izzy). These are present in the show as-is, but they don’t play out well just yet. I’m focusing on these to make things cohesive.

Episodes 1-3: mostly perfect. Loved these and the pacing felt correct for the most part. I would keep the tone from these episodes through the season. Ricky would be introduced here. Zheng is fantastic and all of her stuff stays here.

What I’d change: Ned Low would be the primary antagonist for this season. Ricky would be set up through this season to be the primary antagonist next season. Ned Low’s record is Ed’s original suicide by proxy plan, and that needs to be introduced here. There needs to be a scene showing how Ned tortures people in these episodes. Izzy needs to bring it up as a concern to Ed. Ed doesn’t care about the crew’s safety, obviously, someone (Izzy) needs to mention Ned’s record and possible repercussions here. I’d also NOT play Lucius’s trauma reveal with Stede like a comedy beat. (Like seriously, I HATE that the show played SA as a comedy beat.) Black Pete would be shown crying of Lucius so it’s not just told randomly after the fact. Olu would be shown missing Jim.

Episode 4: The unicorn thing with Izzy was beautiful and I’d keep that. Stede and Ed going to Mary and Anne’s is fine. Buttons can APPEAR to turn into a seagull.

What I’d change: The Kraken Crew and Lucius need to stay paranoid longer. They need to tally things up and realize that Low’s record has been broken (I think Ed was too checked out from reality/high on rhino horn to even realize he’d broken it; Izzy has bigger things going on and likely also lost track) but that record being broken was NEVER shown in the original, just told after the fact. In order to NOT switch to a speculative genre randomly for a convenient metaphor, Buttons appears to turn into a seagull but he doesn’t literally. Revealed to the audience but not to Ed/Stede (more on this later). Stede doesn’t put it to a vote that Ed can come back. He’s the captain and decides that that’s how it’s gonna be. The crew is also gonna look to former first-mate Frenchie (whose trauma is in a box) for direction when Izzy is struggling. It’s Frenchie’s idea about the leg. Izzy is still struggling a little more after his new leg, and I think he should be shown happy at the end but with a bottle of something not far from him (but more in that later).

Episode 5: Ed’s influencer non-apology clearly written by Stede works. Ed and Stede need time apart. The cursed suit can stay for the levity of it. Ed and Fang can go fishing. The moonlight kiss scene works for the most part.

What I’d change: Izzy can be sassy with Lucius, and a bit of a mentor to Stede, but he’s going to be drinking in this episode. Not plastered drunk like ep 4, but it’s gonna clearly be a struggle and everyone is just Not Talking About It. Lucius might start to parallel that a bit and I’d like to see more interaction with them there. I’d also like to see the Kraken Crew (all the crew really) treating Izzy as their captain. Stede says he doesn’t feel like the captain and there should be a reason for that. If he forced them to let Ed back on the boat in ep 4, that can be addressed here. Izzy is following Stede so he can eventually persuade everyone they have to as well, though Izzy’s earned more trust than anyone at this point. I’d delve into him doing for Stede what he did for Ed pre-season one (“massaged the crew” when Ed’s moods seemed off to keep things running (I can’t remember the exact quote past that, but that’s essentially the idea). The Kraken Crew needs to be wary of Ed longer. They do not believe Buttons is a seagull. They all think Ed killed him and Stede says he didn’t see Buttons turn into a seagull, but he takes Ed’s side and doesn’t think Ed killed him. That starts a rift and an “us or Ed” thing that’ll play out later. Ed can try to interact with the crew and get the cold shoulder. He’s done nothing to restore his reputation. As far as the cursed suit goes, I would have them receive some sort of warning from Ned Low when they go to pawn the suit off on the other ship. Stede or/or Izzy would keep it quiet from the crew, who are only just now starting to follow Stede as the captain. Ricky needs to be shown here wanting to end piracy, and interacting with Zheng. After the moonlight kiss, I’d have them holding hands as they walk off. I think maybe Lucius would want to leave the ship here. The Swede and Buttons are gone already, and it makes sense for Lucius to want to leave but Black Pete to want to stay. They’ll both still be on board here though.

Episode 6: Calypso’s Birthday will be the plot for 7/8.

What I’d change: let me preface this by saying I haven’t worked Zheng’s plot fixes out fully. But. If we’re moving this to the next two episodes, something has to happen here. I’d keep the bit with the guilt room and with Ed giving away treasure to the urchins saying don’t be pirates, but have him say more in front of Stede about how piracy is bad for specific reasons that Stede just doesn’t clock as Ed wanting to stop. I think the plot will be along the lines of Stede engaging in more piracy. Ed will quietly be struggling with the fact that Stede is becoming a more and more proficient pirate in his own way, Ed himself not wanting to pirate anymore, and his tentative new relationship with the captain of a ship he is definitely not wanted on by anyone other than Stede. Zheng needs to interact with Ricky here about him wanting to end piracy. Izzy is a good first mate here but he’s still drinking. Lucius may start to parallel that here. Former first mate Frenchie picks up the slack and falls into a leadership role when Izzy is struggling too much, and this is eventually gonna cause him to have to deal with his trauma that’s bottled up, when he has to talk to Izzy about clearly not handling his own. Eventually, things will come to a head with the crew not wanting Ed on board. It becomes an “us vs him” thing with the crew threatening to leave if Es doesn’t. Stede will try to smooth things over but Ed will interrupt and say don’t bother, he’s leaving. He doesn’t know who he is but at least fisherman would be better than pirate. Episode ends with Stede heartbroken and Ed going off to fish in something that isn’t his leathers, so he wouldn’t be recognizable from a distance. Low pinpoints Stede’s ship but doesn’t see Ed on it, and plans to bait him out by boarding and torturing the crew.

Episodes 7-8: Nope. I’d keep almost none of this.

What I’d change: This part is also still rough and I need to flesh it out a bit more, BUT: Calypso’s birthday would be episode 7. The crew would wanna party but also wanna cheer up their sulking captain. They’re glad Ed is gone. Izzy is a good first mate here but still drinking. He encourages the party to Stede who agrees. They’re spending Ed’s treasure that he’s left, turning the poison into positivity by getting rid of the bad memories the Kraken Crew has of obtaining it. Stede and Izzy bond a lot here. Ned Low does interrupt the party (I think maybe he’s also “working” with Ricky but not really, he has his own agenda) planning to bait Ed back. The scene in Stede’s quarters would be Izzy and Stede, not Ed and Stede. Once again the crew are suffering for Ed’s actions, and THAT is how Ed can atone for it. He can save them, probably with the help of Zheng who he’ll have met when he goes off to be a fisherman. So there’s some camaraderie going there. Also, with help from Lucius and Black Pete, who will have to trust him in order to save the crew/themselves. Stede will be the one to kill Ned Low, and he and Ed will still impulsively sleep together as a coping mechanism at the end of episode 8. Izzy is still alive and well (though still drinking a lot; and I think this could be a key to Frenchie having to confront trauma instead of locking it in the box), and things aren’t smoothed out with Ed and Izzy yet, that’s for next season, Ed has ACTUALLY done something to earn the crew’s trust back, and it appears to be a happy enough ending for Ed and Stede. Also, IF Ed says “I love you”, Stede is GONNA say “I love you too” because WTAF was that in the show?! But I’d end the season with La Vie en Rose and fireworks, Izzy happy and celebrating with the crew, a happy moment for Ed/Stede, the antagonist defeated, and Ed actually having atoned for his previous actions.

All of this is rough, but it’s my original thoughts. If anyone wants to use the base of this to write a fix-it fic, go for it. I may do it myself if I can find the time between work writing responsibilities.

[ryin-silverfish]

LMK S5 trailer, Chinese pantheon infodump, and some ideas

…Man, normally, I feel the urge to write fix-it AUs after rewatching episodes and coming across particularly bizarre theories and takes, not before the new season's even out.

Thanks, S5 trailer.

Consider this your spoiler warning, because the rest of this post will all be my personal opinions about a few major story beats that were revealed + the rough outline for a fix-it AU.

It's also a bit ranty, and features some criticisms of the general narrative, so if that's not your cup of tea, feel free to avoid this one.

Li Jing becoming JE/the regent of the Celestial Realm is just hilariously absurd. I mean, it makes a teeny tiny bit more sense than the "Nezha will be the new JE" fan theory, but that's not a very high bar.

1) In-universe, he had done a grand total of nothing while shit was hitting the fan, and only showed up after it was all over. Which, tbh, isn't too far from his role in FSYY. No, wait, at least in FSYY, he killed Luo Xuan via a pagoda to the head, after the guy had all his fire-based magical treasures neutralized and taken away by Princess Longji.

Yeah, congrats, LMK's Li Jing, you've somehow become even more useless than your FSYY and JTTW counterparts——which is a true feat.

2) Even if someone's making him JE/regent, it wouldn't be the Ten Kings. To put it simply: the Underworld doesn't have that authority. They are the most pathetic of all divine bureaucracies, who pretty much only show up to get pushed around and revive the occasional dead guy in JTTW (and I still love them).

Like, they ain't no Hades or Satan. Just the 10 judges of the Dead People Supreme Court. To heavily paraphrase Di Ting in the original JTTW novel:

"How much power do Underworld gods really have? (幽冥之神，能有多少法力)" "...Certainly not enough to stop a rampaging demonic macaque who's as strong as SWK, if I say the truth out loud in here and piss him off. Just send them to the Buddha, please."

An analogy: if the Celestial Host is the imperial court, the Underworld is the ministry in charge of judicial processes and prisons. They don't even have authority over the imperial censors who answer directly to the emperor, let alone the power to determine a successor to the throne during a major crisis.

If this was to make the tiniest bit of sense, Li Jing would be the one commanding THEM, not the other way around. Or if it's Bodhisattva Ksitigarbha himself giving orders to Li Jing…for some reason.

But we know that ain't happening bc of the show's strange aversion to showing Buddhist deities on screen, not to mention it would be very OOC for Ksitigarbha, whose job is granting relief and salvation to souls in the Path of Hell, not judging and punishing them like the Ten Kings.

3) If you must make Li Jing the emperor/regent, you have a more mythos-accurate and obvious choice than the Ten Kings, considering you already got the Four Divine Beasts involved!

Yes, I'm talking about their bosses, the humanoid "directional + elemental gods": Lord Father of the East (Wood), Queen Mother of the West (Metal), Emperor Zhenwu of the North (Water).

No South though...because our mythos can't agree on a single directional god of the South, but for shit and giggles, just imagine Zhurong, Yandi, Huaguang, and the Star of Fiery Virtues all sitting on the same narrow bench, staring awkwardly at each other.

Maybe we can have Ziwei, Great Emperor of the Central Sky and North Stars, who is one of the Four Sovereigns(四御) in Daoism (two of which could also be an alternate choice, but maybe a bit too obscure for foreign audiences).

He commands the stellar deities and heavenly bodies——which the Four Divine Beasts would technically fall under, as guardians of the four quadrants of the sky, each in charge of 7 Lunar Mansions.

4) But if you already have these deities, why the hell would any of them make Li Jing the regent? Wouldn't it be more likely for them to create a Celestial Council of Regents themselves, with Devaraja Li Jing under their command as the leader of what's left of the celestial army?

Like, you can still have them, or one of them, going after the gang and ordering Li Jing to put the fillet on SWK.

I can see Zhenwu the Demon-Vanquisher doing that, since the fillet isn't too different from what he did to Huaguang and a lot of the demons he subdued in JTTN: feeding them magical water/fire pills that would corrode/ignite their insides whenever they tried to resist.

(Yeah, compared to that, the fillet would look like the lenient option, since it's just pain and won't actually dissolve/cook you alive from the inside out...)

And it wouldn't be bc he thought SWK was to blame for the Brotherhood's epic fuck-up...somehow. Like, what even is that logic?!

I mean, I can kinda see the Ten Kings doing it as a pre-emptive "Don't blame us for our shitty security, blame that guy over there!" move...except they are no longer answering to any higher authorities who'd hold them responsible at that point!

"What about Li Jing?" You may ask. Yeah, WHAT ABOUT LI JING? Why does Li Jing have to get involved in this?

If he's forcing the Ten Kings to pass judgement on the gang (which surely doesn't look like it in the trailers), why's he enlisting the help of the weakest faction and not, y'know, his celestial soldiers and other gods?

If the Ten Kings get Li Jing to be their enforcer...well, how the Eighteen Hells did they manage that? What could the Ghost Supreme Court and their crappy prison-torture chamber-soul customs office complex even offer Li Jing as a bribe?

And if their goals were to avoid responsibilities by blaming someone else, how stupid did they have to be to actively involve/create a higher authority who can punish them once the cat gets out of the proverbial bag, instead of, I dunno, just stay where they are and keep their head down???

So in my fix-it AU, it's more of a "Better safe than sorry" scenario, where every demon working for the new Celestial Council must prove their loyalty via swallowing the water/fire pill, now that even more dangerous demons have escaped and are running around in the aftermath of S4.

And Great Sage and company are not exempt from that new law either——"If you are truly righteous and Not Like Them and not planning to rebel, what's there to be afraid of?"

Horrified by the Demon-Vanquishing Mansion's 16th century standards of "justice" and "mercy", they naturally would not have any of it, and thus the conflict begins.

Not only would this show the fallout of Azure's misguided rebellion——that, in trying to make a better world, he had made it 120% worse for both humanity and demonkind in less drastic and more realistic ways aside from dooming reality to irreversible destruction, it would also help with the major show-not-tell problem about Celestial cruelty bc the "good guys" in power saw no problem with this kind of shit.

If you want your lawful antagonists who take Order to its extremes, the warrior sovereign in black leading an elite army of demon-hunters + penal legions made of "reformed" demons would be a better choice than the Ghost Supreme Court, don't ya think?

(Fun fact: in Zaju plays, Zhenwu was often said to be the boss of Nezha and Erlang, so him commanding Li Jing wouldn't be too out of place either.)

Now, you may ask, why do I even care? After all, isn't it clear that the show is neither mythos-accurate nor trying to be, considering the JE got K.O.ed by a Bodhisattva's cat of all things?

Not to mention the season's not even out yet, so why jump to conclusions so quickly? Maybe the actual episodes will have explanations that make sense. Relax.

...Cause I don't mind less-than-stellar animations if the story's good, and since I keep noticing the less-than-stellar animations, it clearly isn't good enough.

Also, it's not like it's only the implications that are absurd——my problem is with the whole premise of "Li Jing becoming the new JE/Regent" and "The gang is prosecuted by the Ten Kings for bullshit reasons, even though these guys should not, and never have the power to enforce anything over SWK."

I don't like calling narrative choices "wrong" per se, and prefer to see it on a gradient of "least to most narrative potential". When it comes to adaptations, if the option that is faithful to the original work will result in a less interesting story, then I'll happily take the one that isn't as faithful and takes creative liberties, but makes a better story.

And here, I feel like being faithful to the Chinese mythos inspirations will add to the narrative potential instead of subtract from it, and the idea they come up with kinda...goes against how Chinese pantheons work, in a very simplified and "westernized" manner.

Mostly bc I am a Chinese Underworld mythos lover and think they deserve better than being ominous Hades/Grim Reaper knockoffs. And out of all the possible Chinese gods, Nezha's asshole dad is the least qualified or interesting candidate to fill in the power vaccum left by JE's death.

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Something There (Chapter 1)

Ahh I'm excited to start this story! I hope you enjoy!

8.0k words Roy Kent x Reader Warnings: Language, brief references to breasts, enemies-to-lovers totally not taken right out of Pride and Prejudice, mentions of alcohol, me not knowing a thing about the Women's Super League and not letting it ruin my fun, Roy not being super excited about women's sports (but it's only because he's grumpy), Reader has a nickname

Series Masterlist

“What the fuck is a whippet?”

Rebecca stared at Roy as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s a dog very similar to a greyhound, but smaller,” she explained simply. “And it’s the official mascot of W.F.C. Richmond.”

Roy, Beard, and Nate sat across from Rebecca, who was flanked by a very excited Keeley. Nate’s expression was wide-eyed and intrigued, while Beard looked pleased and almost proud as he listened to Rebecca’s news. Roy, on the other hand, sat there with his brow furrowed and arms crossed.

Not that the manager’s body and facial language deterred Rebecca; on the contrary, she was far too used to his sulky disposition. However, considering this was a project near and dear to both her and Keeley’s hearts, she had very little patience for his lack of enthusiasm today.

“Where’ll they be playing then?” Roy asked, doing his best to show the support that he knew Rebecca was craving from him. He respected her far too much- both as a boss and a, dare he say, friend- to let her think he didn’t care, not after she and Keeley had done a whole song and dance to present the news to the gaffers: a women’s team. A women’s team for Richmond.

Keeley and Rebecca exchanged looks. Keeley’s expression was one that involved raised eyebrows, as if to say You tell him. Rebecca’s, with her mouth in a straight line, communicated something more along the lines of Shit, do I really have to tell him?

With a deep breath, Rebecca turned back to Roy. “Here, of course,” she answered, her voice steady and nonchalant, seeming to presume her response was obvious to everyone in the room.

Roy furrowed his brow, the corners of his mouth dipping downwards. “But we play here,” he said dumbly. His mind raced. Holy shit, is Rebecca selling us? Is it because we didn’t come in fucking first last year? It was my first fucking season managing, no one could have expected-

“We’ll be sharing the facilities,” Rebecca answered, interrupting the thoughts racing through Roy’s head faster than he used to run on the pitch. Her voice reminded Roy of the voices of Phoebe’s teachers: patient, calm, explanatory. It made Roy feel small.

Coach Beard leaned forward. “I can help Higgins set up a schedule of who gets to use things at certain times, so we don’t have to worry about being on top of each other,” he offered helpfully. Roy knew his assistant coach was trying to distract Rebecca from Roy’s less-than-excited response to this news.

Nate quickly got on board. “Have you hired a manager then?” he asked with a smile.

Rebecca’s shoulders relaxed. At least two of the Richmond coaches were reacting the way she’d hoped. “I have. Another American, actually,” she chuckled, winking at Beard. “Feels like we need at least two of you running around Nelson Road.”

Roy decided to do his best to follow the other men’s examples. “What’s his name? Maybe Beard knows him,” he joked.

“You can read all about her here,” Keeley quipped, handing Roy a folder branded with that familiar red and blue rearranged around an outline of what Roy initially thought was a greyhound. Internally, he quickly corrected himself; it was a whippet. “This is a little report on W.F.C. Richmond just to give you boys some more info,” Keeley continued, passing identical folders to Nate and Beard. “A bit about the manager, her assistant coach, some of the players, things like that. Just so you all don’t look like proper fools in front of her when she pops in tomorrow. Reading it would be a grand idea.” Keeley gave Roy a scolding glare; they both knew that Roy was not one to read reports, even as manager, a fact that drove everyone insane.

With a huff, Roy nodded. “I’ll read it, I’ll read it.”

Everyone knew that was a fucking lie.

~

I looked around my new apartment- flat, Keeley Jones kept calling it in that accent I had to stop myself from grinning at- and smiled. It was definitely bigger than my old place, and I wouldn’t have to share it with any roommates. Sure, it was in a whole new country where I didn’t know anyone, but that was fine. This was fine.

Alright, so I’d sort of miss being on the same continent as my friends and family. But this was such an incredible opportunity that I simply couldn’t pass up. Rebecca Welton was wealthy, and the salary she’d offered me was more akin to what the coaches of men’s teams made back in the U.S., not what we made in the women’s league. The chance to build a program from the ground up was a thrilling challenge I was dying to sink my teeth into. England’s passionate soccer culture- football, I reminded myself- was something I’d found lacking back home, even amongst my own family and friends. And, more than anything else, I jumped at the opportunity to leave and not look back. I was ready for something new, and different, and far away from the places I’d called home for the past few years.

The vibration from my phone tore my attention away from the redecorating I’d spent the afternoon doing, enjoying my last day of normalcy. I grinned when I saw the name on my phone.

“Coach Lucas,” I greeted. “What’s up?”

“Hey,” the familiar voice on the other end answered. “You settled in alright?”

Lucas Austen was the one piece of home I’d brought with me. We’d been pals since my days playing college soccer, when he was our brilliant assistant coach. While he was the first to admit he wasn’t much of an athlete, the man was a great coach, who’d found himself promoted to head coach of our college team a few years ago and even had the men begging him to switch to their side but declined in favor of leading my alma mater to multiple national titles. When Rebecca Welton had asked me about potential coaching staff during one of our million Zoom sessions, Lucas was the first name out of my mouth. She didn’t hesitate to sign him after hearing my gushing reference. And, incredible friend that he was, he didn’t hesitate to say yes.

I could picture his smiling face as I plopped onto the couch. “All good. Yourself?”

“Peachy keen,” he assured me. “Want to do something tonight? Not too tired to go out?”

“Let’s see.” I leaned back and hugged the fluffy pillow I was positive Keeley Jones had selected herself. “Sit inside all night and fret over starting a new job in a new country or go out and actually enjoy that new country? Tough choice.”

His laugh eased some of the anxiety in my chest. “Pick you up at six.” He paused. “Six London time,” he added jokingly.

We hung up, and I gave a little stretch, thinking about how insane we were for doing this- something we’d heard a lot in the last few weeks. If nothing else, Lucas and I were going to have a grand old adventure.

~

Roy sighed and gripped his beer tighter. He’d really let Jamie talk him into going out with him. Even worse, he’d let Jamie talk him into going to a club. Roy hated clubs; but to be fair, Roy hated most things, including Jamie. But the young player had promised his coach they’d have a good time and, more importantly, that there would be alcohol, all paid for by Jamie.

And sometimes, free alcohol was all Roy needed to hear.

So, there he was, leaning against the bar, pretending it was because he looked cool and intimidating and not because his fucking knee was bothering him. Again. He wondered how much longer he’d have to stand here before he could leave without Jamie turning into a whining twat.

“Excuse me.” A woman squeezed by Roy and gave a little wave to get the bartender’s attention. She let out a frustrated little huff when she was ignored. “Dammit.”

Annoyed at how close she was to him, Roy cocked his head. “Oi!” The bartender quickly turned in their direction. “She’d like some fucking service!”

In a flash, the bartender was getting the woman’s order and set to work making it. While she waited, she glanced up at Roy.

“Thanks for that,” she called over the music. “I’ll have to learn how to use my voice like that. Might come in handy at work.” There was a joking lilt to her voice.

If Roy had been paying attention, he would have been caught off guard by her distinct way of speaking, and if he’d been in a good mood he’d have even asked where she was from. Instead, he gave a little grunt and a nod, turning his gaze back to the dance floor, where Jamie had disappeared with some gorgeous girl.

Drink now in hand, the woman nodded to Roy. “Thanks again.”

Roy ignored her as she walked away. He glanced at his watch. 9:30. About his bedtime, and Jamie’s too if the prick knew what was good for him. He was in training, after all.

As if he knew his coach was looking for him, Jamie appeared, adjusting the stupid pink headband he’d worn because it matched his fucking shoelaces.

“Oi, don’t you think the bar can hold itself up, Coach?” Jamie asked good-naturedly, nudging Roy. Roy only grunted in response, so Jamie continued. “Get yourself out there. Dance. Live a little.”

Stuffing his free hand into his pocket, Roy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, me, dancing. Sounds fucking right,” he huffed. “Just let me sit here and drink my beer, yeah?” He spotted Jamie’s dance partner, who was clearly waiting for the young footballer to return to her. “Go on, poor girl’s waiting.”

A smile crossed Jamie’s face. “Cute, eh?” He nudged Roy again. “Go on, let’s find you someone. What about that girl I saw you talking to right now? She was fit. Ask her to dance.”

Roy rolled his eyes. “No fucking thank you. I don’t need some young thing in a tight outfit trying to grind on me just so she can go tell her friends that she danced with Roy fucking-”

“Who said I wanted to dance with you?”

Unnoticed by Roy, the woman had returned to the bar, her face and voice both sour now.

Jamie put on his best smile, clearly trying to diffuse the thick awkwardness that even he could feel. “Hi there!”

The woman paused, quirking an eyebrow at Jamie. “Hey yourself.” Her eyes flickered to Roy for a moment before returning to Jamie. “Your buddy always this friendly?”

Jamie nodded towards Roy. “He’s just awkward around pretty women,” he tried. “He really does want to dance with you.”

“No, I fucking don’t,” Roy blurted out before thinking, thankful, for once, for the stupidly dark lighting in this club for hiding his slight blush.

The woman’s eyes lingered on Roy’s face for a moment, something turning behind her eyes, before wheeling back to Jamie. “As charming as your friend is, I’ve got someone waiting for me. Maybe teach him some manners, hmm?”

In the back of his head, Roy noted that she was pretty. Really fucking pretty. Her eyes sparkled with a teasing gleam, even with her annoyed tone, and her red lips formed a perfect smirk that a younger Roy would have tried to kiss after buying her a drink.

 But he was too embarrassed and annoyed to think about that right now.

Roy sighed, damning himself for how fucking rude he could be sometimes. “Listen, I just don’t want to fucking dance-”

She shook her head and waved him off. “Hey, it’s not like I was dying to dance with someone trying to dress like Johnny Cash,” she quipped, gesturing towards Roy’s totally black ensemble. “I was just grabbing some water. Not every girl walking around a club is dying for some guy to hit on her.” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Even if he’s-” She stopped herself, shaking her head. “Never mind.” She nodded to Jamie. “Have a good night.” She glanced back at Roy. With a small hum of amusement, she grabbed a water bottle off the bar and was off.

Roy watched as she approached a guy, probably about his own age, and whispered something in his ear as she handed him the water bottle. The guy, his eyes widening for the briefest moment, looked over at Roy and Jamie, then back to the woman. They both broke into fits of laughter as they went off, probably to find somewhere far away from Roy and Jamie. Mostly Roy.

Jamie clapped his hand on Roy’s shoulder. “Looks like she’s got a fella. Tough break, Coach,” he said with a sympathetic click of his tongue.

Roy glared at Jamie. “Fucking asshole,” he mumbled, taking a swig of his beer.

~

“Alright, here we go, it’s just the most important day of your life so far,” I murmured to myself as I stared at my reflection.

Lucas and I were due at Nelson Road, our new home, within the hour. We’d finally meet Rebecca Welton face-to-face after hours of Zoom meetings, get a tour of the ‘Dog Track’, see our new offices that we’d be sharing with the men’s side, and get to meet the men’s team, the Greyhounds.

Considering that this was the first impression I’d make on everyone, I opted to dress up a bit. Some nice black slacks, a dark blouse my mom had bought for me as her own misguided way to wish me luck before playoffs one year, and a pair of heels. As I put on some bright red lipstick and pondered whether I looked badass or clownish, I heard a knock at my door.

Lucas raised an eyebrow at me as soon as I opened the door. “Shit. I should’ve known you’d be dressing up.” He wore a pair of Dickies and a button-down shirt; not sloppy, but definitely a step down from my style choice.

“You’re fine,” I assured him with a huff. “I’m probably overdressed if we’re being honest.” I took off the blazer I’d been debating all morning. “There, a little more casual?”

He shrugged, an amused grin on his face. “I mean, you look great. You’re the head coach, not me, you should look professional on our first day. They’ll all see you in sweatshirts and shorts soon enough.” He gave a small nod. “Nice color by the way.”

My hand flew to my mouth. “It’s not too much?”

“Nah, it’s just enough.” He gave a little nod towards the door. “Shall we?”

Not wanting to deal with walking directions on our first day, we opted to take a car to Nelson Road. The ride was much quicker than I expected, and I felt my stomach knot up as I grabbed my messenger bag while Lucas paid the driver.

I’d seen photos of the stadium, having made countless Google searches as the big move got closer. But now, being there in person, everything suddenly felt so real. This was it; my new home, where I’d get to help make history- hopefully a history we’d all be proud of.

A man in glasses waved to us from the entrance as soon as our car took off. “Good morning!” he called excitedly.

The moment I realized who it was, I couldn’t help but smile. “Leslie Higgins,” I laughed. As we approached, I resisted the urge to hug him. We’d seen Higgins in almost as many meetings as Rebecca Welton, and I loved him. He was kind, silly, and went above and beyond to make sure Lucas and I would be comfortable during the transition we were about to face. I knew already that he’d provide a father’s touch as we settled in.

Lucas high-fived Higgins as we approached. “Leslie, what’s shaking?”

Higgins chuckled as he shook my hand. “We are so excited that you’re here,” he gushed. “Honestly, we’ve been twittering like little birdies all morning. Tweet, tweet!” He nodded towards the entrance. “Let’s head on up to Rebecca’s office first, hmm? She’s so thrilled to finally meet you.”

We made our way inside, with Higgins cheerfully asking us about our flight, our new living arrangements, how we were adjusting to the time change so far. It felt like chatting with an old friend, and I was so engaged that I barely even noticed we’d arrived at Rebecca’s office. The door was wide open, so Higgins gestured for us to go on in.

Dear Lord, she’s freaking tall,I thought to myself as I finally stood in Rebecca Welton’s presence. She was exactly who I’d met on all those Zoom calls: gorgeous, poised, dignified, confident, and, more than anything, warm. Before I could extend my hand to her, she’d already wrapped me in a hug.

“Welcome to Richmond!” she gushed before letting go. She cleared her throat and straightened her skirt, furrowing her brow. “That wasn’t weird, was it?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Just a smidge. But it already feels like we’ve known each other forever, so it’s fine.”

It was true. We’d spent so many hours talking on video calls, and on the phone, and even more emailing and eventually texting back and forth, plus I’d done some light online stalking, so that Rebecca felt like a dear friend at this point. Each time we spoke, I felt more and more excited to come to work for her and help her build something special.

“My turn!”

I was smothered by a blonde vision in pink and squeezed like a teddy bear. “Hi, Keeley,” I sputtered out, returning her embrace.

Keeley Jones had been the first person I’d spoken to about any of this. She’d called me, seemingly out of the blue, and gotten straight to the chase, telling me all about how impressed Richmond was with my career as both player and coach and oh would I be interested in leaving the United States, moving to England, and helping build their brand-new women’s team? Her bubbly charisma and enthusiasm had stopped me from laughing into the phone and hanging up, chalking it up to some joke. Instead, I let her reel me in until I was walking into work and handing in my resignation, saying tearful farewells to the incredible athletes I had come to love like sisters, those goodbyes even harder than the ones I said to my family and friends. But the tiny blonde with the fast way of talking had charmed and emboldened me to do this terrifying, thrilling thing.

Lucas quickly shook hands with the two women, escaping the displays of affection that they’d shown me. I glanced at the chairs behind the women, assuming we’d sit and chat for a bit before anything else.

But Rebecca had other ideas.

“Does anyone need a water before heading downstairs?” she offered, gesturing towards her fully stocked bar. “Or tea? I know it’s not your country’s favorite, but…” She trailed off, waiting for an answer.

“I’ll take water,” Lucas said, filling the silence.

“Uh, I’m good,” I murmured, shaking my head. The only thing I could focus on was getting started.

Rebecca quickly handed Lucas a bottle of water and gestured to the door. “This way.”

She led us out of her office and downstairs, excitedly chattering about the men’s team, about the amazing coach who helped build the club into what it had become (a fellow American, she was excited to tell us), how much she adored the current coaching staff, and how she knew they’d be very helpful to Lucas and myself.

“Now, I know it’ll be a bit of a squeeze, having two clubs in the same facilities,” she went on as our little group continued its stroll. “But I know we’ll all just do our best, hmm?”

Lucas spoke up, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “Oh yeah. If it’s anything us Americans are known for, it’s sharing and selflessness.”

Everyone gave a light chuckle as we entered the locker room.

Two men stood in the middle of the room, decked out in A.F.C. Richmond gear. Rebecca quickly introduced Lucas and I to them.

“And this is Coach Beard,” she said, pointing to the one wearing a baseball cap. “And Coach Nate Shelley,” she continued, gesturing to the other man. “Coach Beard is from America as well,” she added with a tiny smile.

It took a moment for everyone to shake hands and offer awkward hellos and nice to meet yous.

Rebecca looked around, frowning. “Where’s-”

“Fuck, fuck, sorry, I was-”

A bearded man in dark clothing jogged in, looking absolutely ragged. His gaze darted around the room at everyone as we all stared back. When his eyes landed on me, they widened.

“Oh fuck.”

~

It was her. It was fucking her.

Roy felt like crawling into a hole and dying. He felt like turning around and running out of the room and not stopping until he reached Scotland, or he collapsed, whichever happened first. He felt like his knees were about to give out, and not because he’d just sprinted through the building, which he knew was a stupid idea. More than anything, he felt like a fucking idiot.

Standing in front of him with one eyebrow arched in amusement was the girl he’d talked to at the club. The one he’d been admittedly rude to. She looked so put together in her outfit and heels and red lipstick, while Roy was in his Richmond shirt and slightly sweating from dashing in from the pitch after he’d finally seen Keeley’s text to come to the changing room. He felt like an even bigger arse than he did the night before.

Rebecca cleared her throat, cool look on her face. “And this is our manager for the men’s side, Roy Kent.” She gestured to the woman and man- who Roy now recognized as the one she’d been giggling with at the club- and told Roy their names.

The woman stepped forward with a small smirk on her lips. “Roy Kent. Nice to officially meet you.” She extended her hand towards him.

Furrowing his brow, Roy reached out and shook her hand. “Right. So, you’re the-”

“First-ever manager of W.F.C. Richmond, yes,” she finished for him. She gave his hand a small squeeze before letting go. “I’m glad to report that I survived the pain of being rejected,” she half-whispered.

Rebecca’s eyes darted between the two as the man- Lucas, apparently- held back laughter. “I’m sorry, have you two already met?” Confusion filled Rebecca’s question.

“Hmm?” The new coach turned to Rebecca. “Kind of. We bumped into each other last night while out on the town. I received a very warm welcome.” She raised a mocking eyebrow at Roy before looking back at Rebecca, all friendly smiles. “Should we continue?”

The group- Rebecca, Higgins, Keeley, and the Americans- exited the changing rooms through the offices, with Rebecca explaining how they’d be sharing: the Greyhounds in the larger office, the Whippets in the smaller one, since there were only the two of them. As their voices faded and left the offices, Beard gazed at Roy’s pale face carefully.

“Alright there, Coach?”

Roy grunted. “Was a bit of an ass when we bumped into each other at a club last night,” he admitted. “Didn’t fucking know it was her.”

Beard’s brows furrowed. “So, you didn’t read Keeley’s report.” Not a question; a statement. He gestured for Roy to follow him into their office, now holding three desks, and handed him the W.F.C. Richmond folder Keeley had given them, Nate trailing in after them.

Roy flipped through a couple of pages before finding the manager profile Keeley had probably worked hard on writing. Sure enough, there she was: the woman from the club smiling up at him, her name in big letters at the top of the page. The profile contained information on her college career, her time as a professional player, her success as a manager in the American women’s league, even her Olympic and World Cup appearances. Definitely not just some “young thing” trying to get five minutes of fame by flirting with him. Roy felt like a right prick skimming her remarkable career.

“She’s really impressive,” Nate chirped, as if it needed to be said. “We could probably learn a lot from her, hmm?”

Tossing the folder back on Beard’s desk, Roy gave another grunt, refusing to admit his embarrassment. “We’re fine,” he responded in a short tone. “Let’s get back out there, alright? I left Isaac and Jamie in charge, so they’re probably having a fucking break-dancing contest at this point.”

~

Lucas and I sat at my dining room table eating the dinner he’d brought over. It had been a busy day; touring Nelson Road, meeting the staff, making sure contracts were signed and players were ready to start training at the end of the week. The next day, we’d be going in for a press conference to introduce ourselves to the public. To prepare, I was drinking the largest glass of wine I could pour.

“Are we gonna talk about it?” Lucas raised his eyebrows at me.

I put down my glass. “Talk about what?”

Lucas rested his face on his hands, gazing at me like a gossiping teenager. “Roy Kent.”

“What about Roy Kent?” I took another gulp of wine. “It’s not like we’re going to be coaching together. Does it really matter if I like him?”

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” Lucas hummed, earning a glare from me. “Hey, I’d be pissed too if he was rude to me.” He took a bite. “Can’t believe he didn’t know who you were.”

I shrugged and went back to my food. “Clearly the man didn’t read his report. I mean, he had to get one about us, right? We got one about them.”

I’d spent about half my flight to England reading and rereading the packet Keeley had sent us about A.F.C. Richmond. It was great: a short history of the team, a bit about each member of the coaching staff, brief player profiles. A perfect way to get to know our new neighbors before moving into Nelson Road. Not that I hadn’t done a little research on my own as soon as Rebecca sent me an official offer to lead the Whippets; indeed, I’d done a particularly deep dive into Roy Kent’s Wikipedia page and watched more than a few clips of him on YouTube, fascinated by his career and transition into coaching. Heck, I’d even pondered if maybe we could become friends eventually.

But he’d put a nail in that coffin at the club.

Whatever. Like it even mattered, I told myself. All I had to do was exist in the same space as the man, no more, no less. And I could handle that.

Right?

I’d get to find out the next morning. Again dressed professionally and deciding to continue rocking that red lipstick, I carried a small box of things into Nelson Road. Since the press conference wasn’t until late in the morning, I had decided that I could take advantage of what would probably be my last bit of free time to set up some things in my office, while my assistant coach opted to relax and take his time getting ready.

As I entered the locker room, several players were already in there, in various states of undress. All of them nodded or waved in friendly greetings, having been introduced to Lucas and me yesterday. They had been extraordinarily enthusiastic, especially considering they now had to share their stadium. I waved back, noting the big smile on one Jamie Tartt’s face- the one who’d been with Roy Kent at the club, the dreamy star player I’d read all about. I grinned at the men, relieved that at least they were friendly.

On the other hand, when I entered the coaches’ office, all talking ceased immediately.

From his seat, with his feet atop his desk, Roy Kent glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, his mouth in a perfectly straight line beneath his beard. He’d been saying something to the other two but had halted as soon as I entered. I raised my eyebrow at him in response, feeling like those muscles in my face would be getting a good workout in the coming weeks.

“Morning,” I hummed, mostly to Beard and Nate. Nate waved cheerfully while Beard gave a friendly salute. Only Roy continued to ignore me.

Before I could step through into my new office, Nate’s voice called out, “Got your press conference today, right?”

I turned over my shoulder and looked at him, a little surprised by his friendly tone and the genuine interest on his face. “Yeah, not til later this morning though. Figured I’d set up some things in the office, make myself at home.”

Beard leaned back in his seat. “If you need help with anything, just ask. We’ll be in the weight room this morning.”

“Thanks,” I said with a nod. Okay, so not all the Greyhound coaches sucked. That was good to know.

I strolled into my new office, wrinkling my nose when I realized my desk had a direct view of Roy Kent’s desk, where he continued to avoid looking at me. Ignoring my observation, I set down my box and started pulling things out, arranging them the way I’d had them in my old office: soccer ball-shaped pencil holder a friend had bought me back in high school, framed photo of my family, my first ever AYSO trophy.

My heart skipped a beat when I pulled out a frame. It held my prized possession: the Sports Illustrated cover featuring Brandi Chastain, on her knees, black sports bra exposed, celebrating her penalty kick that won the 1999 World Cup, signed by the woman herself. It had hung in my bedroom, my college dorm, and eventually my office. It had served for many years as motivation, as something I aspired to. Now, it was my daily reminder of why I loved coaching- to help others achieve their big dreams.

I looked back in the box. Crap. I’d tossed in a couple nails but had forgotten to grab a hammer.

“Hey, Coach Beard?” Clutching the framed magazine, I poked my head into the Greyhounds’ office. The only one in there was Roy, who was thumbing through a notebook and mumbling to himself.

His eyes flickered up at me. He gave a small grunt of acknowledgement and went back to his notebook.

I sighed, not surprised by his lackluster greeting. “Do you guys have a hammer? I’m trying to put something up.”

Still not even glancing at me, Roy walked around to one of the other desks, yanking open a drawer, and pulling out a hammer, slamming it on top of the desk. “There,” he muttered.

“Thanks.” I stepped over and grabbed the hammer. Deciding to play his game of not looking at each other, I let my eyes flitter over to the wall behind his desk. I choked a little trying to hide my laughter. “What the fuck is that?”

Roy’s eyes followed mine to the… anatomical drawing behind his desk, a black strip of tape over it. “My niece drew it,” he answered matter-of-factly. “She’s eight.”

My eyebrows flew up. “Your eight-year-old niece drew the best tits I’ve ever seen in my life?”

A snort flew out of Roy’s nose, the friendliest noise I’d heard from him. “And just how many tits have you seen?”

Unable to help myself, I smirked. “I was a professional soccer player,” I reminded him. “I’ve been in plenty of locker rooms with other women.”

“Is that why you’re hanging that thing in your office?” He gestured to the magazine in my hands.

I raised an eyebrow at him and scoffed. “That’s Brandi Chastain,” I answered plainly. “She’s an Olympic gold medalist.”

“Right.” His steely gaze finally met mine, sending a jolt to my system that I did my best to ignore. “American, I assume?”

“Obviously,” I answered, feeling that defensiveness I had as a kid, arguing against the boys on the playground about whether I could play sports with them at recess. “Only the best women’s soccer team in the world.”

He snorted again. “Can’t be that great if you can’t call it the right fucking name.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, unsure if my tone was friendly or defensive. “Oh, I’m sorry, where’s your Olympic gold medal? Because mine’s in my living room, but I could bring it in if you’d ever like to see one in person.”

Something in his face changed, effectively ending the almost-nice interaction we were having. “Leave the hammer when you’re done,” he mumbled, turning and trudging out of the room, not looking me in the eye.

“Alrighty then,” I mumbled to myself, twirling the hammer in my hand. With a shrug, I turned back to my office, wondering if Roy Kent was capable of having a civil conversation.

~

Roy lumbered into the weight room, where Beard and Nate were supervising various workouts. His body felt heavy, and his chest felt tight. The Dog Track suddenly felt too crowded, too filled with her and her ego. That was it: her cockiness. Roy found it off-putting. That’s what had him feeling so twisted. The feeling in his stomach had absolutely nothing to do with that red lipstick she wore or the fact that she smelled far better than any other coach he’d ever met. Like fucking vanilla.

Both coaches nodded to Roy as he approached.

He grunted in place of a greeting. “Sorry, someone needed a fucking hammer. And then couldn’t shut up about her fucking Olympic gold medal.” Roy ignored the fact that, if he had one, he’d never stop talking about it. Hell, he still managed to bring up his time playing for England in casual conversation whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Beard continued to observe the workouts, only half interested in Roy’s complaining. “What’d she need a hammer for?”

“To put up some poster or some shit.” He folded his arms, scowling. “Didn’t know we were allowed to nail things into the fucking walls. Thought we were supposed to use that putty shit. Not leave holes in the walls.”

Now he had Beard’s attention. “Roy, you’ve punched holes into the walls.” To punctuate his point, Beard nodded towards the patch of recently fixed wall that still needed to be painted over.

Trying to keep things light, Nate piped up. “What was the poster?”

Fucking really? “Dunno,” Roy grumbled. “Some lady footballer.”

Beard raised an eyebrow. “Mia Hamm? Megan Rapinoe?”

“Fuck if I know,” Roy muttered, secretly racking his brain for the name she’d mentioned. “Didn’t really care enough to fucking listen.”

Pulling his cap over his eyes, despite being inside, Beard let out a little hum. “I’m sure you didn’t.”

“Oi! Turn up the volume, bruv!” Isaac called from his treadmill. “Wanna hear this.”

The guys paused their workouts to turn their gazes to the television, where the W.F.C. Richmond press conference played on the screen.

Roy narrowed his eyes as he observed the way she was dressed, in her blazer and red lipstick. She looked professional. More professional than he ever looked at press conferences. He found himself wondering if that’s how she dressed for matches, and whether that meant he should dress better on the pitch too. And fuck, she looked confident in front of all those cameras. He had yet to figure out how to look that comfortable.

A reporter’s voice filled the room. “You just made a big move, leaving the NWSL to come start a brand-new team. Why’d you do it?”

She looked thoughtful. Almost pretty with the way her eyes lit up before she spoke. “Well, let’s be really honest. The United States has the greatest women’s soccer team in the world-” The reporters hollered playfully at her. “Hey, sorry, it’s true!” She chuckled. “So, we’ve got the best team in the world, World Cup and Olympic champions how many times over, incredible athletes. But no one cares. Over here, though, soccer is a freaking religion. It’s everything. I’m excited to be in a place where people love the sport as much as the players on the field do. Who love it as much as I do.”

There was a murmuring of approval among the guys in the weight room.

Except for one person. Roy scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Fucking soccer,” he muttered. “It’s football, fucking Yank.” He glanced at Beard, who shot him pointed look, reminding Roy of his own nationality. “Sorry,” he mumbled, properly shamed.

“What do you think you’ll bring to the new club? Why are you worth importing from the States?”

Roy snorted. Great, an opportunity for her to brag about herself.

Sure enough, a cocky expression crossed her face. “Is it cheeky or just plain arrogant if I say my gold medal and World Cup title?” There was good-natured tittering both from the journalists on television and among the Richmond players in the weight room. “No, actually I think in this case my coaching record really speaks for itself more than my time playing. I’ve been fortunate to lead my team back home to some great successes, and I’m looking forward to doing the same with Richmond.” She looked reflective for a moment. “And I’m young. I started as one of the youngest coaches in the U.S., in both men and women’s soccer. So, I can only keep growing as a coach. I’m only going to get better, get smarter. And this guy here?” She gestured to Lucas, who sat beside her, pride shining in his eyes as he watched her. “Incredible coach. Coach Lucas Austen has been the best kept secret in college soccer for years. I’ve played for this man myself, so I speak from experience when I say he’ll bring out the best in each and every player, as well as everyone lucky enough to watch his magic, most especially myself.”

Nate gave out a low whistle. “She’s fabulous to listen to. So at ease.”

Not willing to acknowledge Nate’s praise, Roy turned to Beard. “Are she and he… are they…?” He nodded towards the television, where the two Americans exchanged smiles as Lucas now sang the young manager’s praises, telling some charming story from his time coaching her.

Beard scoffed. “I doubt it, she’s not exactly his type.”

It took Roy a moment. “Oh. And is he… her type?” Roy couldn’t figure out why he was asking. He didn’t really care. Right?

“She’s dated men, if that’s what you’re asking,” Beard said, looking at Roy with skepticism. “There are straight and bisexual women in sports, you know.”

“I know.” Roy hated the way Beard was looking at him.

But apparently, Beard wasn’t done educating Roy. “And men and women can be just friends. Look at Ted and Rebecca. You and Keeley. Leo and Kate.”

“Leonardo DiCaprio is absolutely in love with Kate Winslet,” Colin shouted across the room, where he was leaning against a wall with Sam, eyes still glued to the television.

Roy scowled. “Back to your fucking workouts before I have Will shove all your boots up your arses!”

Poor Will, who happened to be strolling by the open door on his way to the boot room, picked up his pace, unsure if he preferred doing as Roy demanded or telling the manager “No”. Both sounded horrifying.

With the workouts resumed, Roy turned back to the screen, scowl deepening when his eyes lingered a moment too long on her smiling red lips.

“Are you bringing that nickname of yours over to this side of the pond?”

Her smile widened. “Only to make your jobs easier. ‘Coach Bucky gets lucky’ is a great headline.” She winked, a sight that caused Roy’s breath to stop for a moment. “Although I’d hate to think what else you all could find to rhyme with Buck.”

“What kind of fucking nickname is that?” Roy mumbled to himself, eyebrows furrowed.

As if reading Roy Kent’s mind, a reporter called out, “Where’d the name come from anyway?”

Wistfulness crossed her face as she paused for a moment. “My grandfather,” she answered quietly. She spoke slowly, hesitating for the first time. “When I started playing, he kept calling me ‘Plucky Bucky’, because of my positive attitude. Said he liked the way I never gave up when things got hard.” She let out a soft breath. “Silly. But my teammates and coaches picked up on it so….” She shrugged. “Coach Buck remains. It’s a nice reminder of the man who made me fall in love with the sport.”

Something tugged in Roy’s stomach at the word “grandfather”. Maybe it wasn’t such a stupid nickname after all.

“I think we’ve got time for one more question.” Keeley’s bright voice brought Roy’s attention back to the television.

A reporter piped up. “What’s your goal this year? Brand new team, are you just looking to get comfortable, get your bearings?”

The manager grinned, that cocky look in her eye again. “We’re not here for comfortable. We’re here for greatness.” She cleared her throat, smirking at Lucas before facing the cameras again. “We’re looking to be the first Richmond team to win the whole damn thing.”

~

Keeley, Lucas, and I exchanged high-fives as we walked out of the press room. Doing press conferences wasn’t unusual to me at all, but doing one in a new country was a bit overwhelming. But Keeley had prepared me well, and the journalists weren’t as intimidating as I’d expected. Of course, we’d see how they were once the season was underway and the Whippets were actually playing.

“You were great, babes!” Keeley assured me as we made our way to the coaching offices. “Seriously, if you do that in every press conference, you’ll make my job so easy.” She attempted an American accent as she continued, “We’re not here for comfortable, we’re here for greatness.” She shook her head. “Perfect soundbite!”

Lucas nodded. “Especially that part about being the first Richmond team to win the whole thing? Excellent. Not sure if the guys’ll like it, but I loved it.”

I cleared my throat as we passed the weight room. “We’ll see,” was all I could manage. I hadn’t thought of whether those words would offend the men’s side.

“Oi! Coach!” Jamie Tartt poked his head out of the weight room. “Great job in your press conference!”

“Thanks,” I replied, unable to stop myself from returning his bright smile, which assured me that I’d at least avoided insulting him. “Glad you guys caught some of it.”

Another man joined him, his hair tied in a bun at the base of his neck. Dani, if I remembered correctly. “May we call you Coach Buck too?” His eyes shone with excitement.

His boyish earnestness made me laugh. “Um, yeah, if you guys want to.”

“Sick!” Jamie interjected, sticking his tongue out. “Roy never lets us give him nicknames. Although I like to call him-”

“Oi!” I ignored the way Roy Kent’s gruff voice made my heart skip a beat. “What the fuck are you two doing?” He marched over, his scowl only growing when he saw me. He turned to his players. “Is our fucking training interrupting you two ogling over the shiny new toy?”

My own brow furrowed as I stepped closer to him, our quickly reddening faces inches away from each other. “Shiny new toy?” I sputtered, feeling his breath against my face and not caring that he could feel mine or if he could hear my heart slamming against my chest. “Wait a fucking-”

“Stop distracting my players,” he continued, his eyes dark. At this proximity, I could see the laugh lines on his face, evidence that he actually knew how to smile. “Worry about your own fucking team.”

Before I could say another word, Keeley hooked her arm through mine and gave a tug. “Alright, coaches, lovely chat but we should get going,” she hummed, clearly trying to diffuse whatever the fuck was happening between me and Roy Kent. “Greyhounds, we will see you later, yeah?”

With a deep grunt, Roy turned back to the weight room. “Whistle!” he bellowed. “Everyone on the pitch! Jamie’s leading you in fucking burpees!”

The sound of groaning filled the halls as Keeley yanked me away, Lucas on my heels looking amused. Keeley didn’t stop pulling until we were back in my office; the walk had done nothing to calm me down as Keeley leaned against my desk. Lucas sat in his chair, watching me with raised eyebrows. My pounding heart felt as if I’d just sprinted from one goal to another.

“Well, that was fun,” Lucas finally said in a light tone after watching me pace silently back and forth for a minute.

“Yeah, what was that?” Keeley squeaked. “I know Roy can be a bit rough. But that was…. interesting.”

Lucas smirked now. “I think someone’s still mad Roy Kent didn’t recognize her at the club. And didn’t want to dance with her.”

That broke my silence. “As if,” I scoffed, folding my arms across my chest indignantly. “I wouldn’t dance with Roy Kent if he was the last man on earth, with his fucking black clothes and fucking growling and-”

“Wait, wait, what’s this about a club?” Curiosity covered Keeley’s face.

Before I could answer, Lucas spoke up. “Alright, so we went out the night before we started here, just to relax a bit. And this one went to grab a drink and ran into none other than Roy Kent himself.” He chuckled. “And Kent had no idea who she was, he thought she was just some girl who wanted to dance.”

I cleared my throat. “To be fair, it took me a moment to realize who he was too. Stupid dark lighting and all.”

Lucas continued. “Then she overheard him tell Jamie Tartt, that, oh what was it?” He looked at me expectantly.

He’d finally gotten me to crack a smile. “I don’t need some young thing in a tight outfit trying to grind on me just so she can go tell her friends,” I growled, doing my best impression of the man I now officially couldn’t stand.

Even Keeley snickered. “Shit, that’s pretty good!”

“And he just kept digging himself into this hole,” Lucas went on. “Until finally, she compares him to Johnny Cash, says she’s not interested, almost tells him she knows who he is but decides not to give him the satisfaction, and struts off.” He wrapped an arm around me. “Then of course she surprises the hell out of him the next morning. Leaves him with his jaw on the floor while she’s cool and collected. It was stunning, truly.” He gave me a squeeze. “Plucky Bucky indeed.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, fun story, but no, I’m not bitter about not being recognized. I didn’t even get recognized back home when I was on a World Cup winning team, it’s hard to expect people here to give a shit who I am.”

“They will,” Keeley piped up. “You start winning, they’ll care. You’re gorgeous and charming and a world champion. And an American to boot, that’s always amusing. All you need now is a winning record on this side of the pond. Rebecca and I think you’re going to put W.F.C. Richmond on the map, and hopefully raise interest in women’s soccer in general while you’re at it.”

“No pressure,” Lucas added with a chuckle.

I sighed. This move was hard enough; leaving behind my home, my country, my family, my team. Leaving behind things I’d spent years building. And now, I was in a brand-new country, building something from scratch with wonderful strangers and the one person who knew me better than anyone else. Add to all of it the burden of being a woman in sports and the desire to have people take it seriously, and I was already feeling the pressure.

And Roy fucking Kent wasn’t helping with any of it.

[thestupidhelmet]

A6

AU T7S Where Kelso Doesn't Exist on the Show

This turned into an outline/first-draft hybrid of a fanfic I would call One Difference: Michael Kelso Doesn't Exist.

Quite a few twists. Lots of Zen. Plenty for the other characters, too.

Season 1

Jackie joins the basement gang because of Fez. Jackie enjoys his flattery and attention, but she hasn't promised him anything romantic or sexual. She also keeps her time in Eric's basement secret, acting like she doesn't know Fez, Donna, Eric, or Hyde while in school.

Hyde influences Eric to be more delinquent than he otherwise would be. Without Kelso as his partner in crime, Eric fills that role.

Eric gets into more trouble with both his parents because of his shenanigans with Hyde. Donna also finds Eric slightly hotter for his rebelliousness. In canon season seven, she tells Eric she thinks it's hot when he does naughty stuff.

Unfortunately for Eric, his parents don't agree. He doesn't get the Vista Cruiser, as he does in "That '70s Pilot" (1x01). They tell him that unless and until he acts responsible enough to have a car, he's not getting one from them.

Red's opinion about Hyde is also different. Instead of seeing Hyde as a good kid who's rough around the edges, he thinks Hyde's a danger to his son and tells Eric Hyde's no longer allowed in the house. He also tells Eric to let Hyde find another dumbass to get into trouble with.

Jackie wants to go to the junior prom so badly that she accepts Fez's invitation. Problem is that she's finding herself attracted to Hyde in spite of herself. Before Red banned him from the basement, regardless of how annoyed he is by Jackie, she's drawn to him.

Hyde is the only one who fights the guy (and his friends) who punched Eric unconscious in "Grandma's Dead" (1x23). Without Kelso there, Fez tries to help but is tossed aside and passes out.

Hyde gets more than a fat lip from that bar fight. He's bruised all over. He's allowed to go to Grandma Forman's funeral to support Eric (because of Kitty).

When Red sees Hyde, he assumes the worst about why Hyde's bruised and swollen. Eric tells Red what Hyde did for him, and that significantly changes Red's mind about Hyde.

Fez is confused as to why Jackie runs hot and cold with him. Hyde and Eric both answer that she's a nutbag and he should look for a girlfriend elsewhere. Donna, though, defends Jackie. They're friends now, and Jackie's helped Donna transition her friendship with Eric into a romance.

Fez decides to fight even harder for Jackie's love, and Hyde and Eric groan.

After Edna abandons Hyde, Red (without knowing yet what happened) lets Hyde join his for dinner three nights in one week. During these dinners, Red starts to understand that Hyde is a good boy who's rough around the edges. Kitty, who always liked Hyde, is grateful for how he stood up for her son.

Once Red and Kitty learn that Hyde's mom abandoned him, he allows Hyde to live with them on probationary status. Hyde has to cut out the nonsense and stop cutting classes.

Hyde excels at following Red's conditions, so much so that Eric becomes jealous. With Hyde no longer doing senseless stupid stunts, Eric decides to do a stunt of his own. He's got way more experience in it since Hyde essentially trained him in the art for eleven years.

Eric, who's earned the Vista Cruiser a third through the season, decides to take his mom's keys to the Toyota and find out how fast and far it can go on one tank of gas. Donna, Hyde, and Fez try to convince him not to.

Jackie is present for this moment, and she encourages Eric to go with his plan. This pisses off Donna and Hyde, but Fez finds it hot (despite not wanting Eric to do it).

Hyde tells Eric if he's gonna do something so stupid, Hyde better go with him.

Eric ends up swerving to avoid another car, but the Toyota's bumper falls off and the left taillight is busted. A good measure of paint has been scraped off.

When Red discovers what happened to his car, Hyde takes responsibility for it. Eric objects and says it's his fault. They fight over it, and Red fights internally with himself whether to blame Hyde and kick him out.

But, unlike Donna and Fez who have run off, Jackie steps in and says it was Eric's idea and that Hyde tried to stop him. She's a witness. She knows Hyde will be homeless if Hyde doesn't let Eric take responsibility, and then she'll lose access to him.

Red is relieved and disappointed. He makes Eric and Hyde work to pay off the car repairs. Rather than being upset by this punishment, Hyde feels more like part of the family.

Season 2

Fez tricks Jackie into a kiss during the movies. Once she realizes what he's doing, she stops him. With no Kelso to slug Fez, Jackie runs out of the theater.

Jackie tells Donna what happened and admits she liked the kiss. She's considering dating Fez in secret.Donna has two problems with this idea: one, Fez tricked her into a kiss, which doesn't set a good precedent for the start of a relationship; and two, Jackie shouldn't date Fez in secret. If Jackie has romantic feelings for him, she should be proud to date him and not let xenophobia -- or fear of others' xenophobia -- dictate how she lives her life.

Jackie says in this conversation that she's never had a boyfriend before and she's getting long in the tooth. It's time for her to start dating already. Fez is a terrible choice. "He worships me. He's great dancer, but ..."

Donna says, "He's foreign."

Jackie says, "No. I mean yes, but you're right that I shouldn't treat him like a dirty little secret. The problem is ... I love kissing, and Fez is good at it, but I'm not sure Fez is the one I want to kiss."

Donna, shocked and intrigued, says, "Is there someone else you want to kiss?"

Jackie becomes cagey, an obvious tell, and Donna calls her out on it: "There is someone you want to kiss! Who is it? Do I know him?"

Jackie, very uncomfortable, escapes the question by escaping the conversation (and Donna).

In the circle with Eric, Hyde, and Fez, Donna does her best to keep her mouth shut about Jackie. But Fez brings up how he kissed Jackie at the movies and that Jackie ran away afterward.

Eric and Hyde rag on Fez (and Jackie): "Why Jackie? I mean ... why Jackie?" "You found the Holy Grail, man -- the secret to gettin' Jackie to disappear."

Donna, unhappy about their burns, says, "Jackie liked the kiss, you jackasses -- " which makes Fez brighten -- "but she wants someone else to kiss her that way."

Fez, Hyde, and Eric: "Who?"

Donna: "I don't know. She wouldn't tell me."

Eric: "Oh, God -- that must mean it's one of us!"

Hyde: "Donna's hot. Wouldn't blame her."

Eric: "Not Donna. Us! You and me!"

Hyde: "No way, Forman. You make her sick, and she makes me sick. She wouldn't go after her best friend's boyfriend anyway."

Donna, Eric, and Fez: "How do you know that?"

Hyde: "Uh ... "

Donna (teasing, singing): "Hyde and Jackie sitting in ... in ... have you two ever sat in anything together?"

Fez (sad): "Only the remains of my heart."

Hyde: "Look, last winter at her ski cabin, she whined to me about wanting this guy Jake Bradley -- "

Eric: "The Jake Bradley? The Vikings quarterback?"

Hyde: "Yeah. But he's dating Kat Peterson, so that's never gonna happen."

Donna (remembering): "Right! And you tried to 'comfort' her by saying Jake wouldn't cheat on Kat with Pam Macy either, so Jackie's in good company.

Hyde (chuckling to himself): "That was a pretty good burn."

Donna: "You were a total jerk that weekend -- and not just to her."

Hyde: "Yup. I was. [Sincerely to Donna] Sorry, man. For all of it. No excuses. Just a reason: head was screwed up from my ma. Wouldn't want anyone to do to me what I did to you, and I'm glad we're still cool though I don't deserve it."

Donna's about to accept his apology, but Eric says, "What did you do to her?"

Fez (morose): "What I did to Jackie."

Eric (pissed and confused, to Hyde): "You kissed her in a movie theater in Alpine Valley?"

Donna and Hyde: "The ski cabin."

Hyde: "And she slapped me good. Too bad it didn't knock sense into my skull."

After this circle, Eric is uneasy about Hyde.

Laurie, bored, finds a sad Fez moping around the Forman driveway. She gets him to open up about Jackie's latest but as-yet unspoken romantic rejection of him. Laurie sees an opportunity to amuse herself.

Laurie: "You're a virgin, right?"

Fez: "Yes -- no! I have done it with many women. Like a stallion."

Laurie: "Mm-hmm. Care to prove it?"

Fez glances around. "Where?"

Laurie holds up the keys to her parents' Toyota and nods her head toward the car.

"B-b-but we could get caught!" Fez says.

"It'll be more fun that way," Laurie says and pulls Fez to the car.

A little later, Hyde goes to the driveway. The garage door is open. The Toyota is rocking. At first Hyde thinks the Formans are having sex, and he back away. Then Laurie screams, "Fez!" in passion (and in an attempt to get caught).

Hyde is more repulsed by the idea of Fez and Laurie screwing than the Formans and flees to The Hub.

At The Hub, Jackie is eating at a table alone. Hyde brings his tray of fries, a hot dog, and a soda to her table.

Jackie (suspicious and intrigued): "What do you want?"

Hyde: "You don't have to worry about Fez anymore."

Jackie: "Huh?"

Hyde: "Look, we all know he's been after you for months, but someone caught him in her web today. He's probably gonna stay there willingly, even if the spider sucks out his insides ... leavin' him a dried husk."

Jackie (annoyed): What are you talking about, Hyde?"

Hyde: "Spotted Laurie and Fez doing the backseat bossa nova."

Jackie: "Is that some kind of dance?"

Hyde (smirking): "Some kind. Doesn't require clothes. [To himself] Hope he's wearin' a condom."

Jackie (understanding): "HE'S HAVING SEX WITH LAURIE?"

Hyde winces at her shout. "You should be happy, man. Now that she's got Fez on his back, he'll get off yours."

Jackie: "I -- well -- who's gonna ... "

Hyde: "What?"

Jackie: "You'll just burn me if I tell you."

Hyde: "Likely. [Gently] You can still tell me."

Jackie: "It's just that ... I don't get a lot of attention at home, okay? And I have no boyfriend to lavish me with the adoration I totally deserve, so now that Fez'll be all over Laurie, I'm gonna be alone."

Hyde: "Not alone. Lonely."

Jackie: "What's the difference?"

Hyde: "Trust me; there's a difference."

Jackie stares at Hyde a moment. Then she says, "I do. I do trust you."

Hyde, realizing he made a big mistake, says, "I'm gonna take the rest of my lunch to-go." He stands up with his tray of food and leaves The Hub while Frank (the manager and cashier) yells at him about it. Hyde says, "I'll bring it back!" and hurries away outside.

Fez, exhilarated and a little scared by what happened between himself and Laurie, looks for someone to confide in. He wants someone who will react helpfully, so Eric's out. Hyde's at The Hub with Jackie, so Fez can't find him. Next door, however, is Donna.

Nervously, Fez relates to Donna that he just lost his virginity to Laurie. Donna's first reaction is disgust and shock, but she recovers and asks if he's okay. "And please tell me you used a condom."

Fez: "I don't know if I'm okay -- but yes, Pépé wore a coat. Laurie said I was all right, which is a synonym for *okay,* but did she really mean it? And the first-first time lasted five seconds. The second first time was eight minutes and -- "

Donna: "Spare me the second-by-second breakdown. Please. I want to know how you feel -- emotionally. Because, y'know, it's Laurie! And how did this even happen?"

Fez (laughing): "Oh, you silly virgins and you're silly questions. Sex-education in this country is very lacking. You see, women have -- "

Donna: "I know how sex works! I mean how did you and Laurie ... *why* did you and Laurie?"

Fez: "Oh. She was bored. I was heartbroken over Jackie, and now Fez is no longer a virgin. But what if Laurie just used me to burn Eric? Or if she'll never have sex with me again? Or if that will be my *only* time having sex? Because I liked it ... about four minutes into the second first time."

Donna wishes Hyde were the one Fez was talking to. She's very uncomfortable. She's also worried about how this situation will affect Fez and Eric. She says, "Laurie is always up to something. Whatever you do, even if it's having sex with her again, don't trust her. And don't mistake sex for love. They're totally not the same thing. And I think you should tell Eric right away. Like now."

Fez: "Wow. This is a lot to think about."

Donna: "I just don't want you or Eric to get hurt."

Donna supports Fez by being present in the basement when Fez tells Eric about Laurie. Eric has a negative reaction, and Donna tries to calm him down. Hyde enters the basement amid this bit of chaos.

Hyde: "So Forman knows Fez and Laurie did it, huh?"

Fez, Donna and Eric: "How do you know about that?"

Hyde: "I was there, man. In the driveway. Saw the Formans' Toyota rattling around. Once I spotted the cause, I was outta there."

Eric, hoping to find an ally, says to Hyde, "So what now? Laurie's not hanging out with us just 'cause she and Fez committed that abominable act."

Hyde (to Fez): "Whatever you do, whoever you do, is your business, man. Just don't make it ours, all right?"

Donna: "I already warned him not to fall in love with her."

Fez grows annoyed at his friends' controlling, unsupportive attitudes. He decides that if Laurie's interested in him, he'll have fun with her as long as it lasts.

Throughout the rest of the season, Fez and Laurie's strange relationship continues. Jackie's disgusted and thankful she'd realized she doesn't have romantic feelings for him early. Red is oblivious, but eagle-eyed Kitty recognizes that Laurie is "playing" with Fez (please excuse the unavoidable double entendre).

Kitty sits Laurie down and has a serious talk with her. Kitty knows Laurie is in no way faithful to Fez and doesn't want her to break Fez's heart. Laurie tries to reassure Kitty, albeit dismissively, that the heart isn't the organ Fez is concerned about.

Dissatisfied, Kitty goes to Red. Big mistake. Red puts the onus on Fez and tries to scare him off Laurie. Fez tells Laurie about this development, which makes her want Fez more.

Jackie tries to befriend Hyde, much to his annoyance. She likes how real he is, especially compared to the guys who are part of her social circle at school. She finds in his personality and demeanor aspects she feels she lacks within herself and is attracted (platonically) by that.

Hyde shows no interest in reciprocating any friendship until he witnesses at school a nasty encounter Jackie has with a very competitive cheer squad teammate, Julie. Julie is gunning for cheer captain for the varsity team next year. She sees Jackie as a threat and uses Jackie's lack of boyfriend as a way to spread rumors about her.

Hyde teaches Jackie his version of Zen so she can protect herself. He also introduces her to the circle in between lessons. Unfortunately, being Zen goes only so far when Jackie Burkhart is a lesbian (remember, 1970s) and other untrue statements about her are written on blackboards and whispered by students whenever Jackie walks into a classroom or a school hallway.

To mitigate these rumors, Jackie starts dating Chip. Hyde is wary of this development and keeps an eye on it.

Before Jackie and Chip's third date, at school Hyde questions Chip -- whom Hyde knows is a year older than Jackie and has bragged about previous sexual "conquests". Chip says what he and Jackie have is quid quo pro. Chip goes on a few dates with her, tolerates the yapping, and on the last date he gets to nail her.

Hyde: "Is tonight gonna be the last date?"

Chip: "Hell yeah. She's a bitch."

Pow!

Hyde lays out Chip with one punch. It's witnessed by a lot of students, including Jackie. Jackie wants to know what happened. Hyde manages to get out, "He said bitch. Last date. Nail you -- "

Unlike the Jackie of T7S Prime, this one is a virgin at this time on the show. She's sexually inexperienced, and she pieces together what Chip intended and why Hyde punched him.

Unfortunately, the school principal arrives. As he hauls Hyde to his office, Jackie shouts that she loves Hyde. Many students witness this moment, too.

The principal suspends Hyde from school for the rest of the year, which only has two weeks left, but it means he can't take his finals. He'll have to attend summer school and anger management classes.

Eric and Donna's stories in season 2 are relatively unaffected by Kelso's absence except as described above.

Season 3

Jackie happy-brags to Donna about what went down and why Hyde has to go to summer school. Donna thinks what Hyde did is noble but that Jackie needs to tell her dad about it since the principal doesn't know.

Jackie thinks Donna's idea is great. She does tell her father, who uses his influence to get Hyde out of anger management and a commendation on his transcript for community spirit-- despite the principal condemning the use of violence to solve issues. Chip is expelled because of Jack's influence (and fury that someone thought to hurt his daughter in such a way).

Hyde remains suspended for one week but is allowed to return to school to take his finals.

Jackie is flustered that Hyde doesn't thank her for her intervention on his behalf. He protected her, and she protected him, so -- to her mind -- they should be really close now.

When Jackie confronts Hyde about his lack of gratitude, he tells her he never would've had to punch the guy (Chip) if Jackie didn't give into social pressure. Although this statement is victim-blaming, Jackie does think hard about how toxic her social circle is and tells Hyde he's right. She'll choose her friends better. In fact, he'll be seeing a lot more of her from now on.

Hyde complains to Eric and Donna about this latest situation. Donna's pissed at Hyde for blaming Jackie for Chip nearly taking advantage of her.

Eric, meanwhile, is still focused on Fez and Laurie's relationship and says he bets Laurie took advantage of Laurie, but no one was around to punch her before she could get to him -- not that a man should punch a lady. But if Donna had been there ...

Donna slaps Eric's shoulder and tells him to pay attention to the matter at hand.

Hyde takes to heart Donna's point about victim-blaming Jackie and wants to make it right. He apologizes to Jackie, in his own way. He says, "I get feelin' pressured, and sometimes it puts us in situations we don't know are dangerous. Chip is a sneaky bastard, and you're not used to sneaky bastards. I am, but you couldn't have seen what he had planned for ya. Even if you could -- "

Jackie: "You're rambling, Steven."

Hyde: "I don't ... yeah, okay, I do. I am. Anyway, I'm sorry for acting like a dillhole after I punched Chip. I kinda punched you, too, with my words."

Jackie: "Yeah, you did. It really hurt ... and not only because I really like you."

Hyde: "You shouldn't -- like me, I mean. I'm no good. But under your abrasive, bossy exterior is someone I can stand to be around."

Jackie (touched): "Aw! Does this mean we're friends?"

Hyde: "I knocked a guy's teeth in 'cause he called you a bitch and planned to do a lot worse, and you had your dad bail me out of goin' to summer school and more. People who hate each other generally don't do things like that, so ... "

Jackie (excitedly, hugging Hyde): "We're friends! Hey, why don't we go to the Sizzler for dinner and celebrate?"

Hyde (uncomfortable): "I'm not sure we -- "

Jackie: "I'll pay."

Hyde (now agreeable): "You've had a rough couple of weeks. Let's go, kid."

Jackie and Hyde's arc in season three is their growing friendship that they manage to conceal from everyone but Mrs. Forman. She keeps it mostly to herself but talks to Red about it. Red approves because of his experience with her in "Career Day" (1x18).

Fez and Laurie's relationship ends when Fez discovers that Laurie's cheating on him. His friends say they all warned him but still display various levels of sympathy.

Donna says, "Why did you like her so much anyway? She was mean to you most of the time."

Fez: *She had sex with me, Donna. Regularly! How could I not love a woman like that?"

Hyde: "Dude, you didn't love her."

Fez: "I loved that she had sex with me. Regularly! And sometimes strangely, which I also enjoyed very much."

To help Fez get over Laurie, Hyde takes Fez "cruising for chicks". It cheers Fez up a little, but he's relatively down the rest of the season.

Eric never gets the idea of getting Donna a promise ring because Kelso doesn't exist to give it to him. Still, Ric and Donna's relationship goes downhill because of h increasing independence and his increasing insecurity.

At the end of the season, Eric has an important conversation with Donna. He says, "When do you think we'll get married? Before college or after college?"

Donna (laughing, thinking he's joking): "Why not tomorrow? We could drive to Vegas, and an Elvis impersonator can officiate."

Eric: "I'm serious. Donna, I can't imagine my life without you."

Donna (stunned): "Are you, like, proposing?"

Eric: "Hypothetically if I were, what would you say?"

Donna: "I'd say, 'We're seventeen and have no idea where our lives will take us.'"

Eric: "But wherever they take us, you see us together ... don't you?"

This question leads to the rest of their breakup scene in "Promise Ring" -- minus the actual ring.

Season 4

Eric's depression proceeds as it does on the show. For the first half of the season, he dates random girls. Donna doesn't date.

The heartbroken Eric and Fez set up the get-Hyde-a-girlfriend party. Jackie invites Rhonda -- not because Jackie's insecure about not being the prettiest girl at the party but doesn't want to find Hyde a potential girlfriend. Fez and Rhonda hit it off.

With no Kelso and no vanity-driven insecurity, Jackie stays at the party and watches Hyde closely but sneakily. She's relieved when he doesn't seem seriously interested in any of the girls.

After a short absence, Hyde returns to the party with Melissa. Jackie recognizes how disrespectful and manipulatively Melissa treats Hyde. Once Melissa leaves, Jackie pulls Hyde aside.

Jackie: "Melissa's really pretty."

Hyde (still dazed by his attraction to Melissa): "Uh-huh ... "

Jackie: "She's also everything you hate about me."

Hyde: "What?"

Jackie: "You clearly didn't pay attention to how she acted. She was bossy, mean, and -- and -- what's that word you taught me, when you described how your mom used to give you the silent treatment whenever you pissed her off by blinking too loud?"

Hyde: "Withholding."

Jackie: "That's it! She's emotionally withholding, and she's gonna use that as a weapon against you if you date her. I can see it already."

Hyde (annoyed): "Jackie, I spent an hour with her. You can't tell all that."

Jackie: "You had one conversation with Chip, and you knew exactly what he had planned for me."

Hyde: "Because he told me!"

Jackie: "And Melissa told me. I might not have your sexual experience or whatever, but I'm an expert in manipulation. ... Just think about what happened between you two tonight before you call her, okay?"

Hyde (mostly because he wants to end the conversation): "... Okay."

But Hyde does as Jackie asks. He flashes back to how his mom treated his dad (Bud) and eventually himself. Melissa did seem to resent him already, and he'd end up resenting her. She might be a great girl -- but not for him. She clearly doesn't think he's enough for her as he is now. Not a great way to start a relationship.

At The Hub a few days later, Donna tells Hyde that Melissa told her he never called. Donna asks why.

Hyde: "You called me whipped after she left the party. That was enough."

Donna: "Oh, come on, Hyde. I was teasing. Melissa's really cool. You're cool. I don't think you should miss out on each other."

Hyde: "And I don't think you and Forman should've broken up. You obviously miss each other, but what can I do about it?"

Hyde hit the target he was aiming for. Donna, emotional and pissed, leaves The Hub.

Jackie arrives at The Hub and passes Donna, who says, "Hyde's being a jackass today. I wouldn't sit with him."

Jackie does sit with Hyde, however, and she gets him to spill about not calling Melissa and his interaction with Donna.

"Thanks, by the way, for lookin' out for me," he says.

Jackie: "That's what friends do even when it might piss their friend off like you did Donna."

Hyde: "She'll get over it. Don't know how she and Forman'll get over each other, though."

"Tornado Prom" (4x15) happens a few episodes earlier in this AU. Jackie really wants to win Snow Queen, but she laments to Hyde that she has no date. Hyde shrugs. Jackie says, "You could take me."

Hyde: "I could, but I won't. Plan on partying in the principal's office."

Jackie: "You can still do that. But if you're my date, the teacher-chaperones won't be as watchful of you."

Hyde: "Huh. ... All right. I owe you for Melissa -- and I hate owing anyone -- but no dancing."

Jackie: "Five dances, and you wear a tuxedo."

Hyde: "No dances, and I wear a shirt and pants."

Jackie: "Steven!"

Hyde: "Whatever. One dance."

Jackie: "Four and a tux. I'll rent it."

Hyde: "Two dances, and I wear the suit Bud left me after he -- well, left me the first time."

Jackie: "That mustard thing? Ew! ... Three dances, a nice suit jacket, pants, dress shirt, and tie I'll buy you, and I distract any teachers who might be eyeing you."

Hyde: "Deal."

During his dances with Jackie at Snow Prom, Hyde begins to realize his romantic, aesthetic, and sexual attraction to Jackie. It scares him. After their third dance, he definitely wants to have his circle in the principal's office. Jackie joins him with Fez and Rhonda.

Jackie falls asleep. Hyde draws a unibrow on her forehead. She wins Snow Queen, and Jake Bradley wins Snow King. Jackie is elated but can't understand why everyone in the gym is laughing at her. Then she sees her face in a mirror and knows Hyde is the culprit.

Jackie is furious, but instead of letting humiliation get the best of her, she goes Zen. Everyone is impressed, including Hyde -- and he knows now he's in big trouble.

After "Tornado Prom," Eric realizes he'll never get over Donna if he doesn't actually try. Without Jackie setting Donna up with Casey Kelso, Eric's able to focus on his own date life. He asks out Shelly ("Eric's Panties" [3x06], who is happy to go out with him.

Donna's emotional spiraling begins again. She doesn't want to date anyone, but she's afraid Eric and Shelly might actually have a chance at a relationship (unlike his previous dates).

Jackie (to Donna): "Oh, my God, you still love him!"

Donna: "Of course I do, but that doesn't mean I can be with him. He tried to control my life."

Jackie: "No, he confessed his undying commitment to you, and you rejected it."

Donna: "Because the second I carved out a little piece of my life just for myself, he freaked!"

Jackie: "Someone who loves you as much as Eric does would be willing to work through that."

Donna: "How do you know? You've never even had a boyfriend."

Jackie: "No, but I understand love and that it takes compromises and work ... and trust."

Donna: "Then I guess I don't trust Eric to work on compromising with me."

Jackie: "He compromised with you all the time!"

Donna: "I compromised with him. Until I was sick of him refusing to respect me enough to do the same."

Jackie: "Have you ever told him that?"

Donna: "I told him to trust me."

Jackie: "That's not the same thing."

Donna: "It should've been enough."

Jackie: "Obviously, it wasn't."

Donna: "Well, that's not my problem."

Jackie (mockingly): "'That's not my problem.'" [She pinches Donna's arm, and Donna cries out in pain and anger.] "Who's problem is it, then? Eric's, someone who Shelly or another girl might give a chance to let him learn from his mistakes and be happy? Or the person so stubborn she'll end up alone and miserable because she's in love with someone who needs more time to understand what he's doing wrong?"

Donna can't absorb Jackie's insight all at once, but the seed is planted.

Jackie's parents find out that Hyde took Jackie to Snow Prom. They think she's dating him, despite her protestations to the contrary: "We're just friends! He'll tell you the same thing!"

Jackie's parents want her to stop hanging out in the Formans' basement. She can go to Donna's house, but if she keeps going to the Formans', her father will cut her off financially.

Jackie has more than Hyde to lose. Despite that Donna doesn't go to the basement as often, especially now that Eric's dating Shelly, Jackie will miss all her friends there.

In the basement, Jackie announces her conundrum without saying that Hyde's the reason for it. She says her dad wants her to spend more of her spare time with her "real" friends from the cheer squad and in her own grade. She's decided, though, to get a job because she knows everyone here will miss her too much.

Eric, Donna, Fez, Rhonda, and Hyde's reactions are unenthusiastic. But in private, Hyde asks Jackie what the actual deal is.

Jackie, to her surprise, admits the truth. Hyde laughs and says, "That's ridiculous. Your folks are ... "

Jackie: "Ridiculous! I know! You'd never like me that way."

Hyde: "Right. Never. And you wouldn't date a poor, lowerclass burnout dirtbag."

Jackie: "Exactly! Not that you're a dirtbag ... or poor in the non-money sense. You're richer in every other way that counts compared to the sons of my parents' upperclass friends."

Hyde (sensing the awkwardness between them): "So you're getting a job, huh?"

Jackie: "I'm going to the mall. Maybe Halverson's is look for someone pretty to model its clothes."

Jackie ends up at the Cheese Palace, hired to hand out cheese samples to potential patrons. She has to take the bus to the mall and back because her dad took away her keys to the Lincoln.

Hyde feels partially responsible for Jackie's situation, so he drives her home from work when his own work schedule allows.

Eric catches Todd "the Cheese Guy" kissing Jackie (Todd had tricked her when she was down about her parents' lack of trust in her and low opinion of Hyde).

Jackie doesn't want Eric telling anyone because she's humiliated that her second real kiss was due to being tricked by another boy. Moved by compassion, Eric keeps her secret.

Except that Jackie feels like she cheated on Hyde in some way.

By the end of the season, Fez doesn't get terrible advice from Casey Kelso, and his relationship with Rhonda is intact.

Donna has grown completely depressed. She refuses to try to break up Eric and Shelly by telling Eric she loves him. She had her chance to work through the toughest part of her relationship with Eric, and they both blew it. She needs to get away for the summer, and she heads to the bus station -- and California -- to stay with her mom.

What Donna doesn't know is that Eric has broken up with Shelly. He's still in love with Donna, and he can accept living in the now with her and leave the future unwritten.

Jackie tells Hyde about what happened with Todd. Hyde says she doesn't need to confess to him. He's no priest.

Jackie: "I do. I feel terrible about it, Steven. He tricked me!"

Hyde (growing protective): "What do you mean by tricked?"

Jackie: "He offered to give !e a sympathetic hug because of my parents, you know? But he turned his face, and his lips pushed against mine, and we were kissing. I was so confused, but I kissed him back! Just like I was confused when Fez tricked me at the movies and kissed me -- and I kissed him back."

Jackie (tearing up): "My teammates are right about me: I'm a naive loser. God, I've never been kissed by a boy I've chosen to kiss. Who I've wanted to kiss. And -- and if you hadn't looked out for me another boy, Chip, might've done a lot worse."

Hyde (consoling): "Hey ... hey, that sucks. But it's not your fault, all right? I didn't get to choose most things about my life, either, but I got to choose my friends. Like you."

Jackie feels a little better, but her first tear falls.

Hyde: "Listen, any guy you choose to kiss someday will be lucky."

Jackie: "Any guy?"

Hyde: "Well, someone who wants to kiss you back."

Jackie: "Would you want to?"

Hyde (flushing a little): "If you kissed me ... it would be cool."

Jackie: "That can mean anything!"

Hyde: "I wouldn't hate it. ... Hell, I'd probably like it."

Jackie places her hand on Hyde's cheek. She kisses him gently. He responds gently -- at first -- then they're making out with each other heavily. Fade to black.

Eric goes to the Pinciottis' house to tell Donna about his breakup and what he's learned about trusting the moment. Unfortunately, Donna's not there. Bob and Joanne don't know where she is. They let Eric wait for her in her room. He waits a long time.

Season 5

Jackie and Hyde's romantic relationship develops over the summer. They keep it a secret because Eric is sad and mopey about Donna. They also want the relationship to be just theirs while in its beginning stages, without their friends' opinions.

Hyde gets Eric the plane ticket (using Eric's Candy Land stash) to go to Donna in California. Hyde and Fez cover for his absence.

Eric and Donna reconcile in California. Without Casey being an issue, and Eric explaining that he dumped Shelly and never had sex with her because he never stopped loving Donna, they actually deal with what broke them up.

When Fez and Rhonda catch Hyde and Jackie in the basement post-kissing -- unlike Fez -- Rhonda recognizes what they walked in on. Hyde decides to act Zen about it. Jackie follows his lead.

Rhonda: "That doesn't work on me. I know love when I see it."

Hyde (laughing nervously): "Love? I don't love, man. I tolerate."

Jackie: "No, no, no. I tolerate. You're so overwhelmed by my beauty that I tolerate making out with you."

Fez (to Rhonda): What are they doing?

Rhonda: "Acting like two in love dorks. Want to see if Mrs. Forman has any peach cobbler left over?"

Fez: "I suppose I could tolerate that."

With Rhonda and Fez gone, Jackie says, "Steven, are we dorks?"

Hyde: "Nope."

Jackie: "Are we ... in love?"

Hyde: "How's about we quit talking and get back to what we were doin'?"

Jackie and Hyde continue to make out but wonder about Jackie's question.

Donna and Eric return from California.

Without Kelso, Jackie and Hyde's arc consists of figuring out just how they feel about each other, supporting each other through life issues (e.g., Jackie's dad going to prison) and not always getting it right the first or second time.

Eric and Donna don't get engaged this season. They're too busy finding the balance between their fears, individual desires, and how all that affects their relationship.

During the senior prank, Eric, Fez, and Hyde are present. Eric tried to get artistic and paint a tribute to Donna. He miscalculated his reach and fell off the water tower. Hyde leaves Fez to check on Eric. Fez is arrested.

Jackie is afraid to admit to Hyde she loves him. Hyde is afraid he's unlovable, but Kitty reassures him and says, "Maybe Jackie has to hear it first."

Hyde: "And if she laughs in my face?"

Kitty: "Steven, you've loved that girl for years. You can deny it all you like, but a mother knows. And if you've chosen someone worthy of your love, which I believe you have, you'll hear the right thing."

Jackie, meanwhile, has gone to Red -- who doesn't want to get involved but does. Jackie says, "When did you first tell Mrs. Forman you love her?"

Red: "Between when I fought in World War II and the Korean War."

Jackie, despite knowing Hyde would never join the military and dislikes conflict of any kind, decides she'll have to take drastic action.

Jackie finds Hyde in the Formans' basement. She says she's declaring war on him.

Hyde, confused since he and Jackie haven't had any serious fights in a while, says, "Before you do that -- whatever that means -- I've got somethin' to tell you."

Jackie wants to speak first, but she's learned that she has a tiny window when Hyde is open and vulnerable enough to say important things to her. She doesn't want him to shut down, so she gestures her assent.

Hyde: "I love you. ... Okay, go declare war."

Jackie, taken a back says, "I -- I ... I admit defeat. I love you, too!"

Hyde (unsure): "You what?"

Jackie: "Mr. Forman went through one war and was about to fight in another when he told Mrs. Forman he loves her. So I thought if I declared war by telling you I love you that either we'd both win or both lose. I just needed a definitive answer."

Hyde (laughing): "You are one freaky, freaky chick. Glad we both won. Medical care for vets in this country, 'specially mental care, sucks. Have you seen that guy on Sherman? He -- "

Jackie quiets him with a kiss. "Another time, Steven. This war is over."

Hyde kisses her back.

Rhonda marries Fez so he can stay in the country. Red doesn't have a heart attack.

Eric, inspired by Fez and Rhonda, proposes to Donna at the end of the season. We don't get her answer.

Season 6

Kitty is devastated that Eric and Hyde are leaving for college. Eric says, "It's in Kenosha. We'll be less than forty-five minutes away."

As in The Middle, we get the characters' college experiences, but they're in Point Place for the majority of episodes.

We learn that Donna said yes to Eric's proposal by seeing the engagement ring on her finger. Their arcs revolve around keeping their engagement secret, accidentally revealing it, and their parents' reactions on top of dealing with college life and sharing a house with Hyde, Fez, and Rhonda off-campus.

With Donna out of the house, Bob spends his fatherly attention on Jackie. It's helpful and annoying, and then her mom returns to town. The conflict this arrival creates is handled more seriously than it is on the show with Kelso.

Hyde struggles in college. He's smart but not academically inclined. His temperament is much better suited to an apprenticeship, learning a craft by doing the craft. He's scared.

During one weekend, Hyde learns Hyde bought Wilson & Son's Muffler Shop. He asks Red if he can work there on the weekends. Red hears the uncertainty in Hyde's voice and gets the truth out of him.

Hyde says he doesn't want to disappoint him or Mrs. Forman after all they've done for him.

Red says part of being an adult is making one's own path. Red will hire Hyde full-time if that's what Hyde wants. Hyde agrees.

Hyde then has to go through the process of telling everyone else. Mrs. Forman is worried but trusts Red to teach Hyde well -- and is happy he'll be moving back into the house.

Jackie is shocked, but she ultimately supports Hyde in his decision. She's also happy he'll be next door instead of forty minutes away.

Eric, Donna, and Fez are not happy, especially Eric. He's afraid Hyde will end up like one of his cousins. But Donna says Red owns a muffler and car repair business, not a gas station. If Hyde's happier, then he needs to make this change for himself.

Once Red and Kitty learn of Donna's engagement, they try to stop it. Shenanigans enue for a few episodes until Eric and Donna finally get the chance to tell them that the marriage won't take place until after college, which they're in.

Rhonda learns she's pregnant at the end of the season.

Hyde receives a letter in the mail from someone who claims to be his sister.

Season 7

Part of Hyde's arc is learning about his biological father and that side of the family. He's been working for Red for eight months, but W.B. works in music, and that's Hyde's true calling. Red lets Hyde go from the muffler shop.

Fez and Rhonda deal with Rhonda's pregnancy while going to college.

Donna gets the opportunity to study abroad in Paris for her junior year. Eric wants to go with her, and he applies for the same opportunity. Odds are against him, but he studies hard, inadvertently distancing himself from Donna she doesn't know why.

Near the end of the season, Eric learns he's accepted. Donna finally understands and wishes he'd told her. He didn't because he didn't want to get either of their hopes up.

Jackie is accepted togoing to NYU in New York City. She's torn because Hyde manages Grooves in Point Place. W.B., though, just happens to be expanding his business into the Northeast. Hyde will run the giant, new flagship store with Angie's help.

Rhonda has the baby. It's a girl, ten pounds, eight ounces. Fez is a proud papa.

Red and Kitty face the fact they'll truly be empty nesters. "Until Eric's senior year," Red says, "when he and Donna will be back in Wisconsin."

The show ends with the Vista Cruiser driving away. We see the license plate, and Hyde shouts (unseen): "Goodbye, Wisconsin!"

Jukebox Ask Game

[rubyscarbuncle]

So, in the aftershow talk Anthony laments about season 2 but honestly? I love season 2.

I think season 1 had a lot more clear of an objective, and a lot more clear of a structure, but that’s kind of perfect for the story of season 2 right?

season 2 is a story about being a teen. It’s about all the ups and downs and struggles and heartache and everything about being a teen, it’s about crushes, and emotions, and fathers, and weird mustaches, and it’s about the incredibly gen z/alpha experience of trying to figure out what you can do in a world that feels like it’s doomed by the people before you. It’s a very teen story. It’s very proud of this, and it does it very well, and while I can’t say whether or not it was *intentional* I think the structure and flow of season 2 is perfect for that story.

It starts off with a decently defined structure in school, with a vague but simple enough goal to reach, then you’re thrusted out into the world, having to make big choices for yourself and that’s when it starts to get… Messy. Things aren’t as simple as they used to be, there’s lots of moving pieces, people who are going to be making their own decisions that you can’t really change, there’s a lot of things going on. And it even feels difficult to lean on the people you care about but you do it anyways.

I think season 2 has had some of the best pc to pc emotional character interactions of the entire series and I don’t think you get there without season 2 being structured the way it is. Season 2 being so much more loose and more focused on the players pushing the plot I think purely serves it for the story it ends up telling. I don’t think you get moments like Scary siding with Willy and even while lashing out and eldritch blasting still being hugged by Linc and piled on by everyone to show she’s cared for in a season like season 1. I just don’t think that happens, because I don’t think everything being the way it is and the more almost tv show like structuring of season 1 would allow for that. It had plenty of great emotional moments, but I think the teen nature of it being messier and more impulsive and trying to figure out who you are and where your place in the world is absolutely benefits from a looser structure and goals that are less neatly defined.

The dads have, for the most part, figured themselves out as people even on episode 1 hitting. Sure they all grow and learn and change, but they never stop being those people they are during episode 1, they just become better versions of themselves. Even Glenn. Debatably. (he definitely changed but he might have become a worse person, like he’s a stoner who plays a guitar and says “far out” at the start and by the end is creating big vats of oil to blow up an entire commune and pissing in the sand lying down.) They’re adults, they have their priorities, and they know who they are. We’re in a freaky situation, we’ve been through a lot, let’s get our kids, let’s get tf out, let’s maybe try and fix some things because we’re not totally monsters or anything. Bing bang boom.

The dads have very clear outlines, but the season 2 cast has very strong vibes.

They’re a lot more chaotic, loosely defined, and their outlines are less immediate, but in exchange they are absolutely vibrating with energy and possibility and chaos and all of these interesting dynamics and things that never feel forced because, well, they’re still figuring themselves out! By all rights, they SHOULDN’T have those same defined outlines to their characters that the season 1 cast had.

The entire story is about being messy, and finding your way in life, and I think season 2 does that perfectly, and I think none of the incredible stuff that everyone brings to the table works without Anthony doing what he did and doing the incredible job he did. Good shit king.

[concernedbrownbread]

Oops, started outlining tua s4 au/fix-it (now posted). Spoilers for season 4 + fic below

Basically, this is what I imagined s4 to be. That is, "you painted over the cracks in the wall, but the cracks are still there and now they're getting wider"

Here's what I've got so far (in no particular order):

Raymond Chestnut, man myth and legend, is an important part of the story. What's a man pulled out of time, with nowhere to go and feeling out of time and place to do? Join the Keepers ofc!

Instead of Reginald's cool little memory machine, the family has to actively work to unravel the mystery of Ben and his death (the mystery has changed)

DAVE IS HERE

Jennifer doesn't exist, sorry. Ben is still causing the apocalypse but for way different reasons

Lila's parents are not alive. This is Allison's selfish dreamworld. If she didn't think to bring back Sissy, she did not think to save Lila's parents. Lila and Diego only have Grace.

Speaking of Allison ... whooo boy get ready for her to parallel Reginald, because who else pulled their partner out of their ending for their own selfish love ...

Allison gets a happy ending don't worry. She just faces consequences of s3 first

Obligatory DANCE BREAK~

Five Deli and the Subway have a plot and the plot is trauma and revisiting trauma

Timelines are used as a thematic device cause time travel makes no sense and I've decided it doesn't need to make sense as long as it develops character arcs & plot. I ain't no physicist

Abigail is 100x more evil (with similar motivations) and Gene and Jean are ... themselves

Lila & Five timey whimey field trip that is PLATONIC (I can't believe I have to clarify that).

DOLORES MAKES A CAMEO

Klaus has a side-plot actually relevant to his character and the plot. He continued being the best Uncle

Viktor gets to yell at Reginald. I'm not changing that that was amazing.

Viktor and Allison make up with each other

Luther gets recognition for holding the family together this timeline. He's trying so hard.

The fact that "timelines are spilling into one another" is relevant

It all comes back to Five and his apocalypse. It always does.

Anyway. Here's chapter 1.

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

WIP Wednesday Thursday

Happy Thursday y'all! It's been a while since I gave an update on the Dancing with the Stars Dieter fic, Closed Position.

As mentioned before, I do not plan to fully dive into this fic and start posting until Destiny & Deliverance has been completed. However, there is only one chapter and the epilogue left (I'm not ready). Since, it's not that far off...I have started working on my outline for dancing Dieter. More below the cut. 👇

I have it planned out fairly well, so I am sharing my chapter list with you today. This could change slightly when I start digging in, but this is the format I'm going with:

Prologue

Introductions

Week 1 - Foxtrot

Week 2 - Cha Cha

Week 3 - Jive

Week 4 - Rumba

Week 5 - Argentine Tango

Week 6 - Paso Doble

Week 7 - Jazz

Week 8 - Viennese Waltz

Week 9 - Quickstep

Week 10 - Samba

Week 11 - Finale

Epilogue

I've been doing a ton of homework on the show, so I plan to incorporate a lot of crazy behind the scenes stuff that actually happens and makes for an entertaining plot. Anyone down for a weekly spray tan? No? Dieter isn't a fan either.

This fic will not be anywhere near as angsty as D & D. However, some tough topics are mentioned, mostly relating to Kat's (OFC) asshole ex who will be very present as another professional dancer on the show. Then of course, Dieter's issues with drugs and alcohol are discussed too. He will be sober in this fic, but early on in his journey. Still very much our loveable, hot mess trash panda though.

I would like to do a lot more extras with this fic. I plan to share some inspiration videos for each chapter so you will have a visual of the dances. I think it will help you understand what ultimately causes Dieter and Kat to fall for each other. If nothing else, the visuals are just hot AF.

There will be a lot of Latin dances, just because we have to show off Dieter's loose hips. You know there are going to be jokes about that. I feel like it's a good excuse to take Dieter's button allergy up a few notches too. 😏 Here is a sexy little Rumba video to get us started. This dance may or may not be the one that gets them in trouble...🤐

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo was looking to change his bad boy image and clean up his act after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble. 

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dance partner to one of Hollywood’s biggest stars to go the same as it had for the past nine seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo. 

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

If you would like to be added to my taglist for this fic, feel free to comment below or shoot me a message and I will get you added.

Tagging all my usuals. If this isn't a fic you would like to be tagged on, let me know and I will remove you. 😉

@rhoorl @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring @partyofone3413 @wannab-urs @cakipy-blog @titlee78 @poodlebae @guelyury @missladym1981 @maried01 @alokaerza @samiamproductions @misstokyo7love @themonadiaries-blog @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @avastrasposts @weho2kcmo @harriedandharassed @tkchaos @girlofchaos @yghuibt @musings-of-a-rose @secretelephanttattoo @maggiemayhemnj @legendary-pink-dot @linzels-blog @morallyinept @undercoverpena @sin-djarin @trulybetty @goodwithcheese @jazzloveslatte @timpletance @myloveistoolittle @annieispunk @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @for-a-longlongtime @hisandsnakes @sarcasm-theotherwhitemeat @copperhalfcent

[orionsangel86]

Subtext Glorious Subtext! A Dreamling on Netflix analysis in The Sandman - Masterpost

Introduction

Shortly after realising this show was going to become my new obsession, I decided to throw myself into all things Sandman, which meant actually reading the comics (several times over) and listening to the audio book on Audible. The one thing that struck me most after consuming all Sandman media, was how different the tone of the Netflix show was. In particular, the choices made in the show for the Men of Good Fortune sequence in episode 6 The Sound of Her Wings which is the reason I fell head first into shipping Dreamling. The Netflix show portrays Dream and Hob’s relationship in a whole different way to the comic and the Audible book.

Whilst it IS possible to pick up certain moments in the Men of Good Fortune comic which can be interpreted with a queer lense, (the rose, Death’s knowing expression, etc) there isn’t really much to work with until we get to Hob’s dream in Season of Mists (and I’m losing my mind thinking about how the Netflix show will adapt THAT).

The queer coding in the show however is laid on so thickly, it’s difficult to ignore it. Like with most popular fandom ships, the reason Dreamling has suddenly become SO popular, is because viewers all collectively watched this 30 minute sequence, and had the eyebrow raising realisation that this was actually all very romantic and subtextually very queer.

I have yet to see a full meta analysis of the episode, so thought I would write a breakdown of Dream and Hob’s meetings over the centuries and outline how their differences from the comics have had such an impact on Dream and Hob’s relationship. How everything from the tweaks to the dialogue and additional scenes, the acting choices made, music cues, and the use of classic love tropes in TV have all come together to give us a subtextual masterpiece of queer coding and very much turned a friendship into something more. Even if you don’t ship Dreamling, I believe it would be very difficult for anyone versed in fandom culture (and anyone with a good knowledge of film and TV analysis) to ignore just how thickly the queer subtext is laid on.

Besides, its also writer acknowledged that there was intention there among the creative team, whatever they may decide to do with that going forward.

Initially I was going to put this entire analysis into one long post, but it is far too long and Tumblr was getting angry with me for the amount of gifs I was using. Instead I have broken my meta essay down into 8 parts as follows under the cut:

Chapter 1 - A Walk with Death and the Return to the White Horse

Chapter 2 - 1389 and 1489

Chapter 3 - 1589

Chapter 4 - 1689

Chapter 5 - 1789

Chapter 6 - 1889

Chapter 7 - 1989

Chaper 8 - Reunited

I have been writing this meta essay very slowly over the space of 7 months and I would love to know your thoughts, feedback, comments, or questions on it! Tagging those who may be interested and those who have asked to be tagged:

@notallsandmen @academicblorbo @just-cosmere-fan @seiya-starsniper @littledreamling @altair214 @lulusolier @joyce20091234 @zenkitty714 @tickldpnk8 @timeuntravel @marlowe-zara @mr-sadman @duckland

[landing-amongst-the-planets]

After seeing Season 5 and the way Miguel beat up three different guys to protect Robby in the fight at the Cobra Kai dojo, I need more of protective Miguel over Robby, so here! It’s not a fic, more an outline xD

4 Times Miguel’s Protective Of Robby And 1 Time He Realises Why

1: Robby and a former Cobra Kai are sparring and the ex-Cobra gets way too aggressive and nearly crushes Robby’s leg. Miguel immediately intervenes and knocks him to the ground and really digs into him until Robby has to tell him to cool it and the guy apologises. Tory and Sam snicker in the background and Demetri hands Eli money. Robby spends the rest of the week thinking about that because no one’s ever protected him like that before, except Miguel. For Miguel it’s just another Tuesday xD

2: Miguel finds out Johnny didn’t tell Robby the purpose of the Mexico trip until they were already there and that leads to the loudest fight the entire apartment complex has heard, and that’s saying something. Miguel thinks it’s unfair to Robby that Johnny put him in that position without even telling him and yet again made him feel second to Miguel. Eventually he calms down after Robby pacifies him and Johnny’s impressed and kinda proud that his two sons are getting along so well that Miguel is even protecting Robby from JOHNNY. Yaya gives Miguel a knowing look and Robby a wink and they don’t know what she means but they oddly feel like they’ve been found out.

3: One of the guys from school asks Robby out and he’s so far removed from karate and Carmen tells him it’ll be nice to have a break from the constant training for the Sekai Taikai, so he accepts. Miguel doesn’t know why but he feels weirdly betrayed by his mom. He ends up recruiting Eli and Demetri to follow Robby on the date “just in case”, citing their newly formed friendship and brotherhood meaning he wants to keep him safe. Eli and Demetri exchange that look they always do when they’re communicating in their own way that no one else understands, but Miguel’s one-track mind lets it go. The date does end up going badly cuz the guy is really disrespectful and too touchy and the next day Miguel’s on TikTok for beating the guy within an inch of his life before Robby, Eli, AND Demetri all had to hold him back. The video shows up on Daniel’s For You page on his newly made TikTok and he can’t help but be glad that someone’s looking out for his mentee, because if anyone knows how rough Robby had it it’s Daniel.

4: It’s movie night at the Diaz-Lawrence household and, after an exhausting game of Monopoly where Johnny nearly throws the board out the window when he starts losing, Miguel and Robby end up on the kitchen table together once everyone’s gone to sleep. They start talking about their childhoods and Miguel learns things about Robby’s that he half-figured but never wanted to think about when he was supposed to hate him. But now, seeing the kid who spent his childhood cooking for himself in dingy apartments and having to sweep up broken shards of the bottles of beer his mom or her newest boyfriend would leave on the ratty carpets, the kid who fell in with the wrong crowd too many times and got taken advantage of, the kid who was alone and didn’t have Johnny around…Miguel can’t help himself, he hugs Robby, a full-body hug, for the first time, and says he won’t let anything or anyone hurt him again. And Robby’s pretty sure he forgets how to breathe.

+1: Of course they don’t figure it out on their own. It takes separate interventions from their friends AND their senseis (yes, even Johnny figured it out eventually….ok, Daniel may have had to give him an intervention first) for Miguel to figure out he has feelings for Robby. And maybe that overprotectiveness wasn’t just brotherly love and friendship. And when he comes to this epiphany, it takes another full week for him to stop babbling nonsense when he sees Robby and finally ask him out. Fortunately for him, Robby likes him back, and fortunately for everyone else, they can finally exchange their money for the bets for when they’ll start dating😌

[endiness]

Debunking misinformation about Netflix's The Witcher (Part 5)

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

"The show was supposed to have 7 seasons."

So. This isn't quite true and this rumor has largely been based off of what was basically a misunderstanding of what Lauren said and the subsequent misreporting of that along with the media never really following up on any of her clarifying comments, either — all of which is the thing that I really want to get into.

First off, I will preface this by saying that at one point, Lauren did say something along the lines of how she pitched "season 1, then season 2, season 3, 4, 5, 6, 7" to Netflix. Unfortunately, I cannot find this quote at the moment, but I do think that should be noted. However, as far as I can tell, the main source of the rumor that the show was originally planned for 7 seasons is not based off of Lauren having said that but rather this SFX/gamesradar interview instead:

Which Lauren later went on to clarify what she meant in another season 1 interview:

And in an interview for season 2:

The basic gist of what she was saying was that she initially mapped out 7 seasons with the idea of 1 season = 1 book, essentially, which she mainly did in order to have an overall sense of where the characters were going. So, was there a rough draft, outline for 7 seasons? Sure. Were there definitive, concrete plans that the show was always supposed to have 7 seasons? imo, no.

Just to address this, too, and how the subsequent misreporting of inaccurate information spreads: People — and not just the fanbase but other media outlets, too — usually cite this Hollywood Reporter interview with Henry Cavill as proof that the show was always supposed to have 7 seasons because he said he'd be up for doing that many:

But Henry Cavill was never directly quoted as saying that, and given that he was never directly quoted, it's likely that the interviewer asked him something along the lines of "Would you be part of the show for 7 seasons?" which prompted the answer he gave — and there is a difference between Henry Cavill himself saying that there's going to be 7 seasons and he's down for being part of the show for that long vs an interviewer asking him if he'd be up for doing 7 seasons of the show (which has been based off of the subsequent misreporting of what Lauren said in the first place) and him answering yes.

On top of that, here's an earlier season 1 interview Henry Cavill did with Elle where he talks about how many seasons he hopes the show goes to:

Which imo also only goes to show that the idea that there were ever any definitive plans for 7 seasons is not an accurate depiction of the situation.

"The viewership for season 3 was bad."

Season 3 debuted at #1 on the Top 10, it stayed at the #1 spot in the Top 10 for a total of 3 weeks, and it stayed in the Top 10 altogether for 8 weeks.

It had approximately 54.8 million views over the course of 186 days — 6.9 million views in 2 days (from Netflix's Jan-Jun 2023 data) + 49.7 million views in 184 days (from Netflix's Jul-Dec 2023 data.)

It was also the 5th most watched show in Netflix's Jul-Dec 2023 data, which I think is the most important factor because regardless of how the season-by-season numbers look and any potential drop in viewership, it was still one of the most watched shows on the platform during that time period.

"The show was cancelled and it was cancelled because of season 3."

The show was already rumored to have been renewed for season 4 and season 5 back in September of 2022.

So, long before season 3 even aired or it was announced that Henry Cavill was leaving the show or any other season 3 related issue. Given that Netflix already has a track record of shows rarely going beyond 5 seasons, if that, I think it is entirely probable that it was renewed for season 4 and season 5 back in 2022 with the intention for the show to end after that point anyway — although, granted, this hasn't been confirmed.

Also, like, despite claims otherwise, the show is following the books and the books do have a set endpoint. The show ending where the books do is not the show being cancelled, it's just the show coming to its natural conclusion like the books do. Also just to say, but it is entirely possible for the show to adapt the last 3 books into two seasons anyway. Baptism of Fire largely focuses on Geralt's story, not Ciri's as she's hardly in that book, whereas The Tower of the Swallow largely focuses on Ciri's story, and both books roughly take place over the course of summer/fall. It is extremely probable that S4 will cover Geralt's story in BoF and Ciri's story in TTotS (especially as we already know that Bonhart will appear in S4 and he's really not that prominent of a character until TTotS), leaving the remainder of TTotS and The Lady of the Lake for S5 (which roughly covers winter/spring, just to give a sense of the timeline in the books.)

[canonicallyobserving911]

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Exciting update: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!” - Currently 25 chapters completed: 973.1K Words; Rated: Mature

__________

Exciting Update: The number of chapters for this fic has been increased from 30 to 40!

Before I explain why I increased the number of chapters, I would like to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU 😊🤗😁💕 to everyone who has been reading my massive multi-chapter fanfic and I would also like to say WELCOME to anyone who would like to begin reading it. I really appreciate everyone's supportive and encouraging words and please know that I read every AO3 comment that's posted and I respond to all of them.

This fic is Buck's and Eddie's FANON EPIC LOVE STORY and IMO, it has taken them places the show refuses to go!

I've loved every minute I've spent writing it and I'm looking forward to writing even more of it. Currently it's at almost 1 million words but when I first started writing it last year, I had no idea I would be this far along with it because my initial plan was for the fic to only be 12 chapters. Then I changed the amount in AO3 to undecided (?) but after I posted chapter 9 or 10, I decided 30 chapters would be sufficient.

However, after I completed chapters 24 & 25, I took a week or so to review all the things I want to include in it going forward. Once I did, I had to be honest with myself regarding the 5 remaining chapters because I realized they won't be enough. Therefore, I outlined everything that's still to come and decided to increase the fic by 10 more chapters so the Diaz family's story along with Buck's, Eddie's and Chris' individual stories will get the attention I believe they deserve.

At the end of 2023, I posted on Tumblr and indicated my plan was to finish the entire fic before the start of season 7 but that's not going to happen. Also, for those who have been reading along, I want to assure you that just because the new season is set to begin in three days, that doesn't mean this fic is over. It's NOT FINISHED because there's so much more I have planned for the characters and I will continue writing it until I've posted all 40 chapters. If my timeline works the way I'm hoping, my new plan is to complete it during the hiatus after season 7 ends but before season 8 (if there is one) begins.

There's so much more to come for Buck, Eddie and Chris and a quick reminder, just because Buck and Eddie are married and Buck has adopted Chris, all three of their stories will continue.

Here are of the things that still need to be completed.

Eddie's still working towards obtaining two more paramedic certifications so he can become the Critical Care Paramedic of Los Angeles County.

Chris still has to complete the video game he's working on with his classmates.

Buck is still on medical leave and after they returned to L.A.; he told Eddie he didn't know if he wanted to go back to the 118. The question is will he or is he going to find new employment? 👀

Furthermore, Buck and Eddie put a bid in on a house while they were in Italy. Are they going to get it? 🙃

Chapter 25 ended with a massive cliffhanger and the person who sent Buck the package still has to be revealed. 🥹

Finally, their vow renewal ceremony is scheduled for May 2024 and they're going back to Italy for the entire month of June. Adriana's sons are going with them but Buck and Eddie still have to talk with Chris about the University of Florence's summer program when he returns home and they still have to talk to Adri and Tonio to see if Chris' cousins can go too.

So, please believe me when I say there's so much more in store for them and that's why I believe adding 10 additional chapters will allow me to continue to tell their story in a way that's not rushed and I won't have to include any time jumps to fit it all in.

Thank you again for reading, commenting in AO3 and for reblogging the posts about this fic. I really appreciate everyone's support and encouragement.

AND REMEMBER... THIS FANFIC WON'T BE FINISHED UNTIL THE LAST CHAPTER HAS BEEN POSTED!

__________

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?

Chapter 21 - Buck, Eddie and Chris are finalizing their ‘To Do’ Lists, double checking their itineraries and packing their suitcases in preparation for their trip to Europe so they can board their flight that departs Los Angeles, CA on Friday, December 15, 2023 at 3:25PM.

Chapter 22 - While Buck, Eddie and Chris spend the first 8 days of their European family adventure in Italy, their primary reason for going will be fulfilled as well as several others they hadn’t considered or anticipated.

Chapter 23 - As the Diaz Family continues their Italian family adventure, they’ll say, “Ciao” or hello and goodbye to a lot of things almost immediately after they become an official and legal family.

Chapter 24 - After Buck, Eddie and Chris arrive in London, England on December 24th; the Diazes immediately start preparing to spend their first family Christmas together. During their stay, each of them will hear a few choice words that will be the life raft to get them home to complete their searches to be seen and to be found.

Chapter 25 - After spending more than two weeks in Europe, Eddie, Buck and Chris are back in Los Angeles and they’re getting ready to attend Maddie and Chimney’s New Year’s Eve party. During the event, they have plans to make two surprise announcements but the question is, who’s really going to be surprised, the Diaz family or their found family at the 118?

Chapter 26 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-25 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

[ckret2]

So, uh...

How far are we from the next angst chapter? And how many chpaters/seasons do you plan on making (give or take)?

Asking for a friend.. 👀

Next angst chapter is... not far. :)

I can't answer the second question. Let me illustrate the problem.

Don't bother counting the blocks/color chunks, I didn't, this is just to illustrate the concept.

The chapters I've written, I've written. I know how many of those there are.

The chapters I've plotted, I have detailed outlines for. I know exactly what will happen in them and what order they happen in, and I might be able to guesstimate how many chapters they'll be.

The plots I've heavily developed are "episodes" where I have a really good idea what happens in them and a preeetty good idea what order they happen in, but I do NOT have a detailed outline, which means A LOT could change.

The FOG OF WAR (undeveloped plots) contains all the "episode" ideas I've had that I know I want to write, but I have NOT developed them in detail, I DON'T know what order they're in, AND MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF THEM might change. I have a few developed plots or plotted chapters that are floating in the fog of war because I don't know when they'll happen yet. I do not even know how many episodes are currently hidden in the fog of war. It's possible I haven't even thought up all of the episodes I'll put in this fic—I have several character development goals that I don't currently have an associated plotline for them to happen in. It's also possible I'll cut or combine some of the episodes I've already thought of.

I do not know how big the fog of war is. It's possible that it's about the size I've drawn it above. It's also possible that it's...

... like this.

What I do know is we're gonna be here a while.

As for "seasons," I'm only able to divide up a season 1 from a season 2 because there's part of the story with an EXTREMELY STRONG "season finale"-tier plotline, before and after which the story and its possibilities change drastically. The "season" division isn't a measure of length, but of plot stakes. There's a possibility there won't be a similar shift from a season 2 to a season 3+. The seasons could have any length relative to each other.