#i have schizophrenia lol

[schizopositivity]

i see reminders to take your meds all the time and thats great but heres your reminder to get your meds refilled! to call your pharmacy! to pick up your refills while the pharmacy is still open! you cant take whats not there, its super important that you stay on top of getting your refills

[objectlovingobject]

I should have known i was posic/objectum sooner bc i am suddenly remembering that when i was reeally little i would cry when my family moved homes(we did it quite a bit when i was little) bc i loved the house(or appartment) so much and i would miss it for months into living in a new place.

I still feel this way, if my parents ever sell our house imma be pissed like bro we BUILT HER

[i-love-love]

I would love to get just. The most comprehensive medical work up of all time. Run every test it’s possible to run on every conceivable part/system/function of the human body. Full psych battery. I want to know e v e r y t h i n g going on in here. I wanna know which of these things are related. Wanna find out what secrets my meatsack is hiding. I just think it would be so cool to have a 100% complete picture of how my own body works yknow

[cryingintoahandheldmirror]

Google how do you explain that childlike innocence isn't in the cards for you because no matter how much loved ones tried to shelter you, the hallucinations crying for help ruined that sweetness forever.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[blood-injections]

Okay fineee finally getting back into figuring out an original comic of mine i plan to draw and publish. Well two✌ comics maybe three the third one i wanna make a movie or animation. They're The original stories ive had forever but keep losing inspiration for but that always live in my head ones like danger days meets the matrix meets the terminator and im working on my style guide for it rn getting inspiration back and sketching the creature designs. That ones science fiction post apocalypse gay dystopia and the other one would be like. Short like one part while the dystopia one would be like a series or at least multiple issues but the second one is apocalyptic fantasy and kind of cosmic horror? But its not really horror it just has the same like. Unexplainableness. Its just kind of sad tbh its like. Hopeful but somber but Weird and has a nuclear war and powers and mental illness and genderless entities and a lonely god and queer love facing an apocalypse together and life and reincarnation and ends and beginnings and just. Its my darling. And the third one i want to be a film of some sort is straight up horror lol a lot of body horror and like. Its a hopeless apocalypse it doesn't have a happy ending. Im thinking since i dont know like. cgi or anything. Im thinking of making it a mixture of live action for the characters and stopmotion for the Creatures since i could greenscreen them in if i just make them puppets. itll be a project for when i have free time and money for an adobe subscription lol. If you guys wanna hear abt any of these i might make a sideblog if i start drawing the comic until then just ask me abt any of these and ill gladddly infodump lol. Gay matrix terminator danger days dystopia is for now called In Our Dreams(we can be complete) the weird fantasy apocalypse one always been loosely titled The Stargazer but i could call it Sending My Love(from the other side of the apocalypse) to match lol. And the third one i just call the Bonepocalypse. Also these all came from wild dreams i had like the universes i fully dreamed up its crazy

[armandposting]

honestly saw someone saying we should apply the DSM to the gay vampires. brother they have each been alive for hundreds of years and have things wrong with them no psychologist could fathom what makes you think THATS a useful approach

[marrzyy]

Yeah ok I have stpd

[hakuryuu]

the amount of times lately ive googled schizophrenia symptoms....

[sirensskai]

Character AI is wild lol

[vake-hunter]

I am not sure I am going to be able to keep the lore document updated. I have been struggling mentally very badly. I may even cancel my sub. It's been really hard to make myself play. I'm sorry.

You can still talk to me about FL or anything really but I am just very distant from myself

[clodstyle]

Spotify really said "I know what you are :)" and suggested a song about surviving a suicide attempt, a song about having paranoid schizophrenia, then a song about having bipolar disorder. ALMOST BACK TO BACK lmfao

[cynicjovial]

people talk about schizophrenic ppl as they are psycho killers locked away and not actual people that go on the internet and read their shit. Get a fucking clue idiot lmao

[archliches]

hesitant to post this bc it will not be well phrased and I feel liable to be misinterpreted here but it's been irking me lately to see how often ppl r like "unipolar depression and anxiety are destigmatized disorders" on this website as if if the best case scenario irl you'll get "oooh haha yeah the world sucks lol totally" if you share that u have a depressive/anxiety disorder and then have ppl get so so scared forever when u actually express symptoms of those disorders. it rlly feels like we're taking statements like "oh yeah im so ocd i love organizing things by color" and interpreting that as acceptance and accommodation now.

[xxxpu55yslay3rxxx]

Man I hate the need for self-improvement out of nowhere. A lot of it is just creating a fake demand (I need to 'fix myself') and then giving annoying solutions to handle it ('try my counselling! My book! My n steps plan!').

Yet I see a lot of mentally ill people buy into that shit unfortunately. And by that I mean anxiety, depression and BPD types.

There's nothing wrong with trying to improve yourself btw. It's just that there a lot of people out there to sell you something or make you act in a way they like. They may not be mustache twirling ableist villains, but they know there's a market out there and they peddle their bullshit. Just be aware of that and try not buying into it immediately.

Also another disclaimer. There's nothing wrong with engaging in self help culture, just try not to be pushed into it. I don't wanna be too radical lol

[gbfmi1]

Donnie Darko, as a person

I wanted to share a bit about one of my favorite pieces of comfort media, a movie that means a lot to me. Donnie Darko is a great movie on its own, though some (everyone) may find the plot confusing because of its depth and references. I wanted to specifically explore the character of Donnie Darko, who represents an amazing portrayal of the struggle to be understood as a mentally ill individual.

Neurodivergent brains are not a monolith. I use that term as a catch-all for schizophrenia, autism, bipolar disorder, ADHD, depression, etc., as Donnie displays some symptoms of all of these. I write solely from my own perspective, this is just my personal headcanon; media is extremely complicated and encourages multiple understandings.

Donnie experiences delusions, and is neurodivergent and/or mentally ill. It's only very rarely that you see a character with such taboo mental issues such as paranoid delusions, explored with such depth and empathy in film, and to have this character be a protagonist is even rarer. Through the movie, he attempts to wrestle control over his own life, fighting with his mind, unsure which threats are real and which are imagined. For those of us who are neurodivergent, especially if you experience delusions, or if your issues aren't easily categorizable, I think we'll find Donnie's struggles very relatable.

There's a number of things that make Donnie a sympathetic character, and an accurate if unfortunate representation of what it's like to be mentally ill in an environment that doesn't understand or accommodate you.

Donnie is seen as a prodigy, but one who is wasting his talent. This will definitely resonate with those who have "Gifted Kid Burnout Syndrome". Another point of frustration comes when Donnie begins to notice patterns and significant events in his life, which seem to be much more than coincidence. However when he tries to share his findings with others, they reject these ideas for being illogical. (Of course it's illogical, that's why he's asking for help understanding these contradictions). His neurodivergent brain is going overboard with pattern recognition, this exact ability that's allowed him to become such a prodigy, yet his ideas that don't fall into the format of standardized tests are dismissed as being too weird. According to the authority figures in his life, Donnie is a genius, up until he begins to question that authority.

As teenagers, especially when mental illness is clouding our reason, issues in our lives can feel like the end of the world (only in the case of this movie it literally is the end of the world). It's our first time experiencing them, and we're often given little direction. Donnie is frustrated in the movie because the various authority figures that might be able to give him guidance brush off his troubles as personal failings. He's accused of being "a prisoner of fear", as if it were his choice to be like this. In fact, the toxic positivity given by the motivational speaker goes against what Donnie wants and needs: for his problem to be acknowledged. This black-and-white self-help schlock is (barely) a parody of real life advice many of us have been told. It states that the onus of diagnosing the problem, of finding the solution, and carrying out the treatment, is on the child and not the adult.

Donnie understands from before the beginning of the movie that he experiences delusions and that some of his emotional reactions are "irrational". However as the movie progresses and Donnie begins to feel increased pressure, he's less and less able to "mask" his true feelings. Donnie feels that, by failing his role in the traditional family unit and his social role, he's a burden to those around him. Because he is supposedly choosing to be this way, and because his nature is seen by society as disturbing and undesirable, he is made to feel shame simply for existing.

Despite understanding that the self-help guru pervert's advice is garbage, Donnie still internalizes the idea that his mental illness is something to be fixed like a broken machine, instead of understood and treated. The "grand mystery" Frank has sent Donnie on a quest to solve can also be seen as Donnie's desire to "solve" his weirdness. He feels that, in order to be accepted, he has to find the solution the thing that divides him from society, when in reality the solution he's searching for is comfort and understanding from loved ones. For his issues to be taken seriously.

Donnie is caught in a unique sort of trap, caught between his own needs and the wills of those around him. His family does genuinely care about and love him, but doesn't make a tremendous effort to understand him. Donnie tries asking for help multiple times, but he's not even capable of understanding the issue (after all, how can he trust his own perception to tell him how his perception is warped?) much less articulating what the problem is. He realizes that he can't talk about his issues directly with words, and so resorts to expressing himself using poetry and art. When others see his expressions, he's either disregarded as absurd, or met with confusion and fear. More specifically, Donnie's family and friends are afraid of him. His feelings aren't easily understood by outsiders, and this fear of the unknown causes them to treat him like a danger, rather than working with him to help explore his unknown. But he needs to express himself in order to ask for help, even to feel human connection! The trap Donnie's stuck in is the double bind: he has to express himself in order to ask for help, but he also has to not act "crazy" or "weird" so he won't push his friends and family further away. As a result of this, despite Donnie having plenty of social interaction with his friends and family (even being well known at school), he feels incredibly isolated, and alone. Despite being given emotional support, it's done at a distance; his delusions are shocking and scary to outsiders and so are avoided being referenced directly. The only characters who treat the presence of Frank as more than a dream or a joke are Donnie's therapist and his English teacher. Despite the tragic end to it, his friends loyally go with him to Grandma Death's house. While he may be in the throes of a delusion, these characters understand that his feelings are real.

Donnie understands from before the beginning of the movie that he experiences delusions and that some of his emotional reactions are "irrational". However as the movie progresses and Donnie begins to feel increased pressure, he's less and less able to "mask" his true feelings. Donnie feels that, by failing his role in the traditional family unit and his social role, he's a burden to those around him.

As teenagers, especially when mental illness is clouding our reason, issues in our lives can feel like the end of the world (only in the case of this movie it literally is the end of the world). It's our first time experiencing them, and we're often given little direction. Donnie is frustrated in the movie because the various authority figures that might be able to give him guidance brush off his troubles as personal failings. He's accused of being "a prisoner of fear", as if it were his choice to be like this. In fact, the toxic positivity given by the motivational speaker goes against what Donnie wants and needs: for his problem to be acknowledged. This black-and-white self-help schlock is (barely) a parody of real life advice many of us have been told. It states that the onus of diagnosing the problem, of finding the solution, and carrying out the treatment, is on the child and not the adult.

He, and I cannot fucking stress this enough, just like me fr.

I feel glad that I can show people my own six foot tall bunny rabbit, and I hope that by doing this I can gain some understanding of my own.