#i have so many thoughts about annie and the word “mum”

[ughgoaway]

https://www.tumblr.com/ughgoaway/740601500041150464/heyyyyyy-ive-been-off-tumblr-since-the-holidays?source=share

"Sweetheart, you can't blame her! girls always tell their mums these kind of things first"

Mum? MUM??? DID SHE SAYS MUM??????

MUM?!?!?! 😭😭😭😭

- 🎭

AHAHAHAHAH YESSSSS, I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO NOTICE THIS HEHEHEHE!!!!

SHE. SAID MUM.

teacher girlie just IS her mum!!! like that is it!!!

[agirlwithbigdreamsforher]

MATERNITY

THE NANNY: ONE SHOT

MATERNITY

Pairing: Andy Barber x Annie Johnson (OFC)

Summary: Having a baby and take care of a house is never easy.

Warnings: none I think, just being a momma is hard. If you are dealing with something similar I want you to know you are doing amazing!

A/N: English is not my first language and I was tired when I wrote this, so I’m sorry for any mistake this may have. Enjoy!

Word count: 2232

Disclaimer: I do not give permission for any of my works to be copied, used, translated nor reposted anywhere else but here on this blog. Do not steal what you didn’t work for. Minors and ageless blank blogs don’t interact with me or my works. Reblogs and likes are always welcome. Thank you for reading this work of fiction.

GIFS not mine, you can find the credits in each gif :)

                                     ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Everyone said having a baby was one of the greatest things ones would experience. It was 3:45 when the crying of Lily woke Annie up. Annie got up, walked to her nursery, and took Lily back with her. As Annie sat down, Andy stirred awake.

“What is it?” Andy asked in a groggy voice.

“She is just hungry.” Annie yawned as she lifted her top and placed Lily near her nipple. Andy groaned, turned to his side and went back to sleep. Meanwhile Lily was eating and Annie was drifting off, her eyes were heavy with sleep, she put her back against the headboard and waited until Lily finished. Once lily was done she burped her and took her back to her crib. And this had been her routine lately.

Andy had noticed how tired her wife was, how she cried whenever she thought no one was watching her.

“Honey?” Andy approached her one evening, “You know you can tell me anything, right? We’ve talked about this before I hate it when you hide things from me.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me, ok?” She gave him a kiss on the lips, “I’m just tired.” She smiled but that smile didn’t reach her eyes.

Any took her hand and squeezed it, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She walked passed by Andy and took the hamper of dirty clothes.

“Honey, is 9 p.m.”

“I know, I know, but I didn’t have time to wash these today, so…I won’t be long.” And she left.

It was a Saturday, Lily had woken up 3 times. First because she was hungry, the second because she was wet and the third apparently just because she was ready for the day to begin at 5 a.m. Annie was sitting on one of the stools by the counter when a very cheerful Andy walked in.

“Good morning!” Making Annie jumped, “Sorry I scared you.”

“S’fine.” She yawned and drank from the glass of juice she had.

“How you slept?” he got closer and kissed the back of her head.

“I didn’t, but hey she is sleeping now.” She looked at her phone, it was close to 8:30 “I need to wake her up in a couples of minutes.”

“Maybe you should let her rest.”

“Nu-uh, if she sleeps during the day she won’t sleep during the night.”

“SO, I was thinking last night, and I think it would be good for you if we have a night off. I texted Sharon and told her the 4 of us should go out for dinner tonight. I just need to get a babysitter but I don’t think that would be a problem.”

“Are you insane?”

“Hey!”

“I can’t go out Andy! The house is dirty!” She stood up, “I have so many things to do to go out for dinner.”

“Honey…”

“You better cancel because I am not in the mood to see anybody!”

The day went by and after lunch Andy went to his office to read some files to get ahead on a case he needed to see on Monday, while Annie was cleaning the kitchen. The whole house was a mess lately, no matter how much she cleaned, the house never seemed to stay clean for more than a couple of hours. Her body ached and she felt exhausted. It was nearly 4 p.m. when she put the last dish away, she was ready to sit down for a while to wait for the cycle of laundry to be over. She walked to the living room only to find out Jake had scattered his toy box all over the floor with him in the middle.

“No!” Jake jumped when she heard her scream.

“Hi, mum!”

“No! What is wrong with you?! I just cleaned!!!”

“But I wanna play!”

“I don’t care! I just cleaned! And you…argh!!!!!!”

She felt so frustrated, sat down on the couch and looked at the mess Jake did.

“I just cleaned…” She whispered and then she cried.

“Mum?” Annie was sobbing, big tears running down her face, “I sorry! Dad!!!!”

Jake stood up and ran to his dad’s office.

“Dad!” Jake opened the door.

“What’s wrong, buddy?”

“I made mum cry!”

“What?”

Andy got out of this office and found Annie fully crying, her face was red at this point.

“What did you do?” Andy asked Jake.

“I was playing.”

“Honey, what’s wrong?”

“I just cleaned,” she took a deep breath, “and then this!” Annie pointed to the toys on the floor. “I’ve just cleaned the living room! And Jake did this! And I just,” she cleaned her nose with the back of her hand, “I can’t do this.”

“Ok, ok, take a deep breath.���

“No! I cleaned here and Jake in less than a fucking minute put the place upside down again!”

Once Andy heard her cursing she knew she was pissed. She never cursed in front of Jake.

“Ok, honey. I’m sure Jake didn’t mean to make you upset. Right, buddy?”

“Yes, I sorry, mum! I clean now!” The small boy took the box and began to gather all his toys and put them away.

“No! Leave it! You are grounded!!”

“What?” Jake asked.

“Honey.”

“Go to your room! Now!”

Jake dropped what he had on his hands and ran to his room.

“FUCK!!!!!!!” Andy tried to touch her but she pushed him away. “I just cleaned.” She said one more time. Softer this time.

“I know. Take a deep breath.” Annie followed his breathing when all of the sudden the cries of Lily filled their ears.

“No, please, no more cries.” Annie was so frustrated.

“I got her.” Andy walked to the kitchen where the cries came from, “Come here princess.” He took her out of the baby carrier and began bouncing her as he walked back to the living room. It took only minutes for Lily to stop crying.

“She hates me.” Annie said.

“She doesn’t hate you.”

“She does! She just stops crying whenever you hold her! I feed her! My nipples are sore from feeding her! And she cries and cries! And I can’t make her stop!”

“You are just tired, honey.”

Andy saw her wife blink her tiredness away. The bags under her eyes were deep and dark. Her eyes were still red from crying. Her hair was all over the place and her t-shirt had milk stains on it.

“How about if you go to sleep? I can clean and take care of the kids.”

“No, I…” She stood up and began picking up Jake’s toys, “Can do it.” She threw some of them into the box, “I need to finish, so I can go to the supermarket and buy everything for tonight’s dinner.”

“Honey, no one is coming. The plan was to go out for you not to do anything. And you said you didn’t want to see anyone. I cancel.”

“Very well,” She took a deep breath and clean her tears. “I still have to take out the laundry.” She yawned and rubbed her eyes.

 “No.”

“’m sorry, what?”

“I said no. Go to our room. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“But…” Andy clenched his jaw and stared at her. Annie put the toys in the box and walked away.

Meanwhile Andy was still holding Lily how was wide awake.

“Your mommy is exhausted. You are giving her a hard time little lady.” Lily just coo.

5 minutes later Andy walked in with Lily in her arms. Annie was sitting on the bed looking out the window. When Andy got closer she saw Annie was sleeping while sited.

“Honey?”

“I’m awake!” she turned to see him, “Is she hungry?” she lifted her arms to take Lily in her arms.

“Amm no, but how about a shower?”

“Yeah, I can bathe her.”

“Not for Lily. For you.” Annie just looked at him still waiting for him to pass the baby to her, “Tell you what, you can have Lily while I’ll prepare you the bathroom, that ok?” She nodded, “Good! Be right back.” She handed Lily to her mom and off he went.

When Andy came back Annie was humming a lullaby and Lily was holding her finger with her chubby hand, a toothless smile across her face.

“You are so cute.” Andy heard her whispered to their child.

“That’s because her momma is cute too.” She turned and smiled tiring to him. “Come on, time for a shower.”

Annie put Lily on the basinet, walked to the bathroom and stripped. When her body touched the warm water she sighed.

Meanwhile Andy checked on Lily who was very busy sucking on her whole hand.  He walked out of the room and towards Jake’s.

“Buddy?” Jake was on his bed looking at the ceiling.

“I still grounded?”

“Ammm. Well since your mom grounded you she is the one to decide.” Andy sat near his feet.

“I only wanna play.”

“I know, but you mom made a great effort to clean the house and well you know… It’s just been hard for her now with Lily here. So I need you to go downstairs, pick all of your toys and made a bag, you staying with Luis tonight.”

Jake nodded and ran to follow Andy’s instructions. Andy came back to their room, and took Lily with him.

“Mommy need some time alone, so you are coming with me.”

When Annie finished her shower, she felt a lot more relaxed. She walked to the closet and grabbed some clean clothes. She was about to sit on the bed when she notice Lily was no longer in the basinet. She rapidly walked to the entrance of the room.

“Andy! Do you have Lily?”

“YES! SHE IS WITH ME!” Andy shouted from the kitchen.

Annie took her time to dress, brush her hair and moisturized her body. The TV was on giving her some company with the sound of a show she didn’t know.

Andy was folding the laundry when he notice the time, it was nearly an hour after he heard the water of the shower stopped.

“Let’s check on your mom.” Andy took Lily with him and once he got to the door he opened it slowly. Annie was sleeping peacefully on her side, holding one of the pillows and with the throw blanket covering her legs. Andy smiled and closed the door.

Annie woke up by the sound of the doorbell, the room was completely dark.

“Oh, god” She turned to see the clock on Andy’s side. “7:30, Fuck!  Have to make dinner!” She jumped out of the bed and ran downstairs to find Andy putting food on the table.

“Honey! I was about to go and wake you up.” Andy got closer and kiss her forehead, “I didn’t know what you wanted to eat, so I bought, pizza, Chinese, sushi and Italian. I thought it was better to have options.” Annie didn’t say a word, “You ok?”

“I...” She scanned the kitchen, “Where’s Lily?”

“Sleeping in her baby carrier on her play mat in the living room, turns out Bluey is better than me.” He laughed.

“Where is Jake?”

“He’s staying with Luis tonight. He is very sorry by the way, and before he left he picked up his toys.”

“Ok…I…the laundry I need to take out the laundry and…”

“It’s done and I folded it. Although I put the clothes in the living room because I didn’t want to wake you. But I promise I’ll put everything in the right place after we finish our dinner.” Annie’s eyes began to water and Andy hugged her. “Shhhhh, I’m right here.” He rubbed his hand on her back, “Did you rest.” She nodded against his chest, “Are you hungry?”

“Very.” She muffled against him.

“Alright,” Andy smiled to her and reached for her chair, “My lady.” Annie sat down. “What are you craving tonight?”

“I’ll have a slice of pizza and ammm chow main, please?

“Excellent choice! For drinks we have apple and orange juice, tap water, coke or if you’re feeling a little rebel, wine.”

“Water with ice is fine.”

“Coming right up!”

For the rest of the night Andy didn’t let her lift a finger. He washed and put the dished away, he put all the remained food in containers in the fridge and cleaned the kitchen.

By the time he made it to the room Annie was drifting off. When Andy sat Annie opened her eyes.

“Sorry.”

“It’s ok, no need to apologize.” He lean towards her and kissed her, “I love you, and I want you to know you are not alone in this.”

“It’s just too much some times.”

“Yes, but you don’t have to deal with everything at once.”

“I feel like such a failure.” She sniffed.

“Honey, you are not a failure. You are amazing! Everything you do. You are a great mom and an amazing wife. Don’t you ever forget that,” He kissed her again, “I’m here for you; for everything you need.”

“Thank you.”

“Wanna watch a movie?”

“I don’t think I can’t make it to the end.”

“That’s ok. I only wanna spend time with you. Come here.” He laid down and opened his arms and Annie snuggled against his chest. Andy sighed when the cries of Lily reached their ears.

“I got her.” Andy said, leaving Annie who fell asleep right after that.

[imnotobsessedwfictionalchracters]

Chapter 6 Everything I Need is Right Here by My Side

I do not own Harry Potter or the characters created by Rowling

Anyways, this is also posted onto my Fanfiction.net account SomeKind0fMagic and my Wattpad somekindofmagic1 so you can check it out on there too!

But anywho, hope you enjoy!

Love Z <3

Prev Next

A few days had passed since Christmas and Albus was sitting on the couch, waiting for Scorpius and Annie to arrive. He sighed as he flipped through the pages of the comic his aunt Hermione had gotten him. She tried to talk to him about Rose when she gave it to him, but he got out of the talk by claiming he was needed somewhere else. 

His mum was in her office upstairs while his dad was out with Lily and James was out with his friends. He dreaded when they would come back. He only hoped it would be after Scor and Annie would leave. But he knew that would be a long shot as the two were staying until after dinner.

His eyes flicked over to the fireplace as he heard the roar of the Floo being used. He smiled as he saw the dirty blonde hair of his friend appear. Sitting the book down, he stood up, “Hey Scorp!”

Scorpius smiled and stepped out of the fire, “Hey Al, how’re you doing?”

They hugged, “Good, you?”

Scorpius pulled away and placed his hands in his pockets, “Same, so are we just waiting for Anne?”

The fire roared again and soon the voice of their reddish-brunette friend spoke out. “No, no you are not.”

“Oh my god.” Albus gaped at Annie.. “Your hair!” It was shorter, shaved on one half, and pitch black.

Her hand instinctively raised up to her hair. “Oh, yeah, I asked my aunt to cut and dye it.” THe hand fell slowly, smile following quickly after,  “You don’t like it do you?”

“No, I like it, it’s cute. It’s...you!” She smiled again, “Honestly, not many people can rock half shaved hair, but you look good with it.”

Scorpius nodded, “He’s right, it suits you. And I honestly thought that you were joking at the dinner.”

Annie shrugged, “I was, but then I decided to go through with it.” She looked around, “So this is your house?”

Albus shrugged, “The living room of it.” He waved at them to follow him, “C’mon, let me show you my room.” They followed Albus out of the room and up the stairs. He stopped when he reached the door. “So, my sister, Lily, will be home later with my dad.” He pointed to Lily’s closed door. “That’s her room. And next to it is James’s. I have no idea when he and his friends will be back.” He opened his bedroom door and let them in, “It’s not much, but it’s comfortable.”

“I like it, but it’s just so…” Scorpius started, but he couldn’t seem to find the right word.

“Gryffindor.” Annie stated simply and placed a hand on Albus’s shoulder. “Which is so not you.”

Albus shrugged, “It’s been like this my whole life, I never really noticed or cared.” Not until he came back. “Maybe I'll ask mum and dad if I can repaint it over the summer.”

Annie shrugged, “It's up to you, and I'm not surprised that you never noticed, you hardly ever notice anything.” She walked over to his desk and picked up the radio, “I have one of these.” She turned back to him, “Funny thing, my mum has always been interested in Muggle things. Radios, movies, clothing. But truly, anything that can play music she has fallen in love with.” She sat it back on the desk, “I have a radio in my room.”

Albus nodded, “My dad was raised by Muggles, my Aunt’s parents are, and my granddad works in the Muggle Artifacts section of the Ministry. So I was raised around all types of Muggle appliances.”

Scorpius laughed softly, “I wish man. My mum was the biggest with Muggles, but even she could not do too much convincing on bringing Muggle technology into the Malfoy home.”

“Doesn’t your father own a few Muggle restaurants around the world, though?”

Albus looked at Scorpius curiously when Annie said that. Scorpius just shrugged, “Yeah. But my father kind of lets them do their own things. He’s lost in the Muggle world for the most part. There’s this one restaurant, however, in France that my father owns that he and my mum frequent regularly. I’ve been there once or twice.”

Albus nodded, “Any good?”

“Not sure. Expensive though.”

“Not surprising considering your family.” Scorpius nodded and Albus sighed, “Well, there’s more muggle technology downstairs if you’d like to see.” Scorpius nodded enthusiastically and the three made their way back downstairs.

--------

“I still don’t understand!”

Annie and Albus laughed at Scorpius. “Honestly, muggle sports make very little sense to me as well. So it’s quite alright.”

“I wonder if this is how muggleborns feel about Quidditch.”

“Probably.”

As they heard the front door close shut, he prayed that it was Lily and their dad and not James and his friends. And thankfully, his sister came skipping into the sitting room. A smile on her face. “Daddy wanted me to come see if your friends were here!” She threw Annie and Scorpius a smile and smiled, “Hi!”

Albus watched them both smile and wave back to her. “Is that it?”

“Well, he also wanted to meet them. So I guess you could always walk to the kitchen and introduce them to dad. Have you even introduced them to mum?”

Albus went silent and he could hear the smugness in his mums voice. “Yeah Albus? Have you?” He muttered a tiny ‘no’ and heard her continue. “That’s what I thought.” He looked up and saw his mum walking over to them. She held her hand out for them to shake. “Good to finally meet the two people who seem to have kept my son's head on straight these past few months.”

Annie shook her hand first, “Somebody has to.” She smiled at his mum, “I’m Anneliese by the way. But just Anne is fine.”

Scorpius followed suit with, “Anne actually keeps both me and Al in line.” He gave Albus’s mum a dashing smile. “And I’m Scorpius.”

His mum nodded, “Well, you two can call me Ginny.”

Annie bit her lip, “Is Ms. Ginny alright? My mother always told me to say ‘Mr.’ and ‘Ms.’ when talking to or about adults.”

Albus’s mum nodded, “If it makes you more comfortable, then yes, it’s alright.”

Annie nodded, “Okay. Cool.”

“Well, I’m going to start making dinner. James will be home shortly.” Albus held back a groan when his mum said that. He was hoping that James would just stay at someone’s house. That he wouldn’t come back home today.

And from the looks on his friends' faces, he realized that they were hoping for that to happen too.

--------

To say the dinner was tense was putting it lightly. James had brought Oliver Creevy, Frank Longbottom, Jason Bell-Wood, and their cousin Fred back home with him. Albus didn’t have the biggest thing against Fred. He surprisingly had been nice to Albus. But Frank, Oliver, and Jason? Albus didn’t trust them. Especially as they all, well mostly James and Oliver, were glaring daggers at Annie and Scorpius.

But the two of them couldn’t have cared less. They just carried on talking to his parents and sister. As if James and his friends didn’t exist. He wasn’t gonna lie, he admired them for it. Their ability to just ignore them and focus on something else.

The three kids played a few games, but it didn’t take them too much time before they decided to just head to bed. Well, that It was around 3 in the morning. Scorpius was snoring on the floor next to him. Something that he was already used to, however. But something that he hadn’t come accustomed to was the staring at his ceiling. It had happened once or twice, usually after arguments with his family. And then Christmas. And like Christmas, tonight he just couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t sure what it was about it, but something was just keeping him from sleeping. He turned to his side, staring out of his barely open curtains. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about what he overheard his Uncle saying. Was that the biggest problem? Him being friends with Scor and Annie? Would things have been different--no. He stopped his thought. Things wouldn’t have been. They would always find a reason to hate him. Just because he didn’t fight the hat to not be placed into Slytherin. Because, deep down, he knew that was where he belonged. Not in Gryffindor. Not where he would only ever be known as James Potter’s little brother and son of Harry Potter. At least in Slytherin he could make a name for himself.

--------

It was the next morning. Albus was laying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Again. But instead of being unable to sleep, he was reflecting on his last year. From getting accepted into Hogwarts, to meeting two friends, no, best friends, being put in Slytherin, his family hating him just because of his house. And while the last one still stung, the rest was happy.

There was a knock at his door and then it opened, “Albus? Are you and Scorpius up?” He sat up as his mum asked the question. She gave him a small smile when she saw him, “Okay, well, I see that Scorpius isn’t up, can you maybe wake him up in about 30 minutes. I’m starting breakfast.” And just as she was about to shut the door, she stopped to say, “Lily and Anne are downstairs playing Wizards Chess. I really like that girl, Anne. I can tell she really cares about you and she gets along with Lily well.” She sighed, “And James left about an hour ago. I believe he’s over at Jason’s.”

Albus nodded, “What time is it?”

“It’s nearly 10 am sweetheart.” Albus nodded again as she shut the door once again. He crawled over his bed and shook Scorpius’ sleeping shoulder.

“Dude, wake up, my mums making breakfast.”

Scorpius shot up, “Food?”

Albus snorted at his friend. His dirty blonde hair was sticking out everywhere. “Yes, food.”

Scorpius yawned, “What time is it anyways?”

“It’s nearly 10. My mum just came in to tell me. Apparently James left a few ago and Lils and Annie are downstairs.”

Scorpius scratched the back of his head, “We probably should get down there then, should we?”

Albus shrugged, “It’s up to you man.”

Scorpius stood up, “I want food. So let’s go.”

Albus laughed and followed after his friend.

--------

Annie’s older brother, Aidan, had come to pick her up around an hour ago and Scorpius had flooed home a few minutes ago. And Albus was back up in his room. Annie was right. This room wasn’t him. Or, at least not who he was now. It reflected him before he started Hogwarts. When he still had this idealized version of what Hogwarts would be like in his head. 

That version where he would get into trouble with James. Or he and Oxford Wilde would roll their eyes at Rose and Elisia Finnigan for wanting to study. The version where he wouldn’t stay up late at night because he had a fight with James. Where he wouldn't question what his family thought of him. 

He laid down onto his bed. Why did he have to be so different? Why couldn’t he have just asked to be placed in Gryffindor like his dad?

--------

James had come back later that day, around the time for dinner. It had been silent since everyone sat down. A stark contrast to the previous night. And most other nights. So maybe that was why his mum began to speak.

“Y’know, I really liked your friends Albus. They were both very sweet. Especially Anne.” She glanced at Albus, “I can tell why you keep her around.”

He nodded silently, “Yeah, she’s who keeps Scor in and I in check. She makes sure we get our work done and not get into trouble.”

Albus heard the snort that came from James. And if their parents had heard it, they both chose to ignore it as his dad continues.

“Sounds like Hermione with Ron and I.” He laughed, “I swear I don’t think Ron would have finished school without her. So it’s always good to have a friend like that.”

Albus gave a small smile, “Yeah. And her family helps me with remembering how chaotic our family can be.” He glanced at James when he said ‘our’. Hoping he would stay out of it.

“Right, you said she has...how many siblings?”

“14. 7 older, who are all in Hogwarts, and 7 younger. Two will be coming to Hogwarts next year.”

His mum nodded, “Doubt that there’s ever a dull moment at her home.”

Albus laughed, “Yeah, from what she’s said, there isn’t. Especially when you take into consideration the 16 year age gap between the oldest and youngest.”

He watched as his dad nearly choked on his drink. “I’m sorry, 16 years?”

Albus nodded as he took a bite of his food. “Yeah. Her oldest brother, Aidan, was in his 5th year when her youngest brother, Nicholas, was born.”

His mum shook her head in disbelief, “Wow, I can’t even believe that. Bill and I are only...10 or 11 years apart. All I know is he was going into his first year when I was born.”

“Yeah, that’s the difference between Annie and Nicholas basically. She was born at the end of October of ‘05 and he was at the beginning of October of 2015.” 

“I can’t imagine 15 pregnancies. 3 was more than enough for me.”

“Well, it was a little less because there are twins.”

“Either way.”

His dad spoke up again, “How many twins?”

Albus thought about it for a moment. “I’m not sure. You have Aidan, who graduates this year. Then the twins Antonio and Derek, who graduate next year. And then Dominick who is the 5th year prefect this year. Then the next twins are Liam and Randolph, they’re two-ish years older than Annie. Then her sister Genevieve, she’s only a year...well 11 months older. Then Annie. Then the twins Liana and Alexa, who start next year. And then you have Clara, Odette, Elina, Eden, and then Nicholas. So that would be 3 sets of twins.”

“I can’t even imagine.”

“According to Annie, she’s pretty sure that none of them were supposed to happen. Cause her parents weren’t even married when Aidan was born. Plus put in the age difference between most of them. Seems like no one was meant to happen.”

“Well, hopefully their parents love them all.”

Albus nodded, “Oh yeah, their mum loves them a bunch according to them all. She doesn’t always put one away for the other. She tries to give everyone an equal look after.”

His mum nodded, “That’s good...better than some parents that I know of.”

“Can you invite Anne over again? I really liked her. She was fun.”

Albus smiled at Lily, “I’ll talk to her about it.”

Lily nodded, “Good.”

“Are there any other friends we should be aware of?”

He glanced at his dad, “Well...there’s the twins, Rohyn and Robyn Goyle. Holly Avery and Jordan Boles. And then Charlotte Montague. That’s really all who I talk to in my year. Actually, Rohyn is considering trying out for Quidditch next year. He’s trying to convince Scor and I to join him.”

And before anyone could say something, James spoke up, “Can I go to my room please?”

“But you’ve hardly touched your food.”

He was already getting out of his chair when their mum spoke. He just rolled his eyes, “I’m not hungry.”

“James--” Their dad started, “What?” James snapped.

But instead of getting mad at him, like Albus thought that they would, his parents looked at one another before his mum said. “Sure, I’ll just leave some out for you in case you’re hungry later.”

James muttered a ‘whatever’ as he exited the room. Albus watched as his parents sighed before his dad spoke again. “So, Quidditch? Are you considering it?”

Albus shrugged, “Haven’t given it much thought. I’m only really good at Seeker and they already have a Seeker.” He snorted, “Not that he’s any good.”

“Who is it?”

“Annie’s brother, Dominick. He just...I don’t even know if the guy knows how to play. Nothing he does helps the team. I don’t get how he’s stayed on the team for two years now.”

His dad shrugged, “Well, see if next year's Captain will try for all spots. If they do, maybe you can make it.”

“Well what about Scorpius and um...what was his name again?”

“Rohyn?” His mum nodded, “Scor wants Chaser and Rohyn wants Keeper. Both of which will be needed as Aidan is Keeper and William Montague, a 7th year, is a Chaser.”

“Who knows Al, maybe you’ll get lucky and get on the team.”

Albus laughed, “I would feel sorry for Annie and her siblings if I did. Dominick would be complaining for months if he doesn’t make it.” He chuckled softly, “Actually, the way he is reminds me of how you explained Uncle Percy was during school. Prioritizes school and being Prefect and Headboy. Annie said that he wouldn’t even shut up about it when it happened.”

“Oh dear, yeah, that sounds like Percy.” His mum sighed, “Goodluck to all of them for the next 2 years.”

Albus laughed, “I’m sure Annie will appreciate it.” He sighed and stood, “May I go to my room? I’m finished.”

“Oh, sure. Just put your plate in the sink.” 

Albus nodded and did what his mum asked and silently walked up to his room. “Y’know, I’ve heard from Rose, and apparently you’re causing Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione to fight. All because you couldn’t help but get into a fight with Rose.”

Albus stopped, his hand frozen above his doorknob. “What?”

“Yeah. They’re fighting and he’s sleeping on the couch. Mum and dad were talking about it too. How does that feel? Knowing that you are the reason our family can’t get along. Because you didn’t honor--”

“Shut up.” He mumbled.

“What?” James questioned, condescendingly.

“I said, shut up.”

“Why? I haven’t said anything that isn’t true.”

But instead of arguing, like he so deeply wanted to, Albus just sighed and opened his door. But to make it known to James that he was mad at him, he slammed his door. Completely ignoring his mum yelling at him to not do it. 

Albus didn’t even bother with changing out of his clothes, he just fell face first on his bed, passing out not long after. Because slowly he was realizing that James would never change. That he would never be who Albus used to think he was. 

But he didn’t want to admit it, not just yet. Not at 11.

[unusual-ly]

I just finished the first three episodes, my dad wants to watch his football now so we’ll finish it tomorrow hopefully~ I’m thinking I’ll post some proper episode reviews after a rewatch next week but here’s some Thoughts for now~ (in no particular order)

Spoilers for Happy Holiday, Speak As Ye Choose and The Hardest Word

Fanny has a pet cemetery I’m sobbing I too have lost many pets I fEEL THIS

Robin is her pet now *^* She shall do his hair nicely *^* I actually do that to Reuben…

The plague ghosts. Just. Them. Angels. Love that they literally just had to hear one of Thomas’ poems and immediately gave up. Also love that Mick went back to talk to the Captain

MARY AND ANNIE MARY AND ANNIE MARY AND ANNIE it wasn’t what I expected but I don’t care they are so precious and pure Annie please come back

Robin chasing squirrels my beloved <33333

Speaking of Robin, his original name was Rogh! It’s a small thing but I’m so happy one of the very first things I ever posted about in this fandom has a partial answer!

Goddammit Thomas. I was so proud of you. And you ruined it. Amatonormativity has claimed him. I’m so glad he didn’t possess Mike to kiss Alison

Mike is the sweetest thing /)^^(\

Cap/Kitty father/daughter bonding beautiful amazing perfect incredible

My dad found Pat’s explanations about holidays very funny. He and my mum actually just cancelled a holiday, they were gonna go away this week for their anniversary but they decided they’d rather have a week off at home. Good timing~

Mary talking to Florence~!

The song. The song. Thomas please

Autism. Autism everywhere. My rewatch will also involve taking notes to update the Autistic Ghosts post

[jedivszombie]

Okay gang, since there are a bunch of anons going fucking wild across the dash tonight about some joking posts about Mark Webber and Ann Neal - that were someone’s shocked reaction to the age difference between them. I thought it would be interesting to go on a little journey together. 

This little journey is the story of how Ann and Mark met, and will hopefully give you guys some insight as to why the ‘sexism’ and ‘ageism’ arguments you are currently using are bullshit - and why using these words in such a buzzword way actually is not the kind of critical thinking you think it is. And why this situation is more akin to a student and teacher starting a relationship - which I think we can all agree is not advisable, even if you don’t know why.

Below the cut is going to be a little discussion of Mark and Ann the early days; the reason the age difference is iffy at best and fucked up at worst; and, a little discussion about how these situations require nuance and the ways in which f1blr often likes to blow situations out of proportion. 

I have split it into three parts:

Mark and Ann: The Early Days (1994-1997)

Nuance, my old friend. Anon hate, my enemy. (tw: for racism here, be careful)

The pitfalls of discourse and the importance of looking after yourself.

A little disclaimer for you guys: I do not pretend to know anything about this relationship, other than what is readily available to learn about it from what they themselves have put out about it. I am just providing a timeline and some facts. Whatever conclusions you draw from it are your own.

Feel free to come for me if you so desire. 

Mark and Ann: The Early Days (1994-1997)

We start our story in Australia in February, 1994. Mark is competing in Australian Formula Ford Championship and Ann Neal is the new media and PR officer for the category. This is their first meeting. Just so we know what’s up here Mark was 17 at the time, and Ann was absolutely an adult (apparently there is a 13 year age gap, which may not sound like much but we will get onto that later, which makes her roughly 30 when they first met). 

Some key things to be aware of from this first meeting: 

Mark is 17, Ann is about 30. Mark is a young racer, Ann is the media and PR officer for the category he races in. 

In an excerpt from Aussie Grit, p. 57 to be exact, we get to find out what Ann had to say about the first time they met: 

“She thought I was a bit of a smart-arse when we first met. ‘But I liked how bold and cheeky he was,’ she says, ‘and how mature he seemed. When I asked someone how old he was, I was shocked when they said 17 – he was confident beyond his years.’”

In another excerpt from Aussie Grit, p. 61, Mark tells us other things Ann remembers about their first meeting:

“Ann remembers our first meeting and my opening remark about her being so important. She can even remember what I was wearing – a stripey green and red top, one of those United Colors of Benetton things – so that was pretty prophetic, as things turned out!” 

Now this may sound extremely cute to some of you, like they’re just having a normal ‘aww remember how we met’ moment. But let me please re-direct your attention back to the fact that Mark is 17 (and still not an adult yet if this is what you are gonna nitpick about) and Ann is very much an adult, in a position of power. 

So, a teenager makes a quip about how important you are and you commit to memory what he was wearing the day it happened? 

Now let’s bring in the first quote I put up there where Ann herself was recalling the first time they met. I would like to draw your attention to the following sentence: ‘and how mature he seemed. When I asked someone how old he was, I was shocked when they said 17 – he was confident beyond his years.’

Hmmmm, where have we all heard language like this used before? If, like me, you have some experience of adults trying to start inappropriate relationships with you as a teenager then you will be very familiar to this sort of language. The emphasis is on how mature he seemed, is what’s sticking out for me here tbh.

Now, if this had been a fleeting meeting, and they had met again a few years later, I would be more on board for whatever justification some of the anons have been trying to use. However, it wasn’t. 

Again from Aussie Grit, p.61:

“After that first meeting we kept in touch. My family sometimes met up with Ann and Luke for weekend get-togethers, and I ensured she got her motor-sport fixes by dragging all my old F1 tapes out. By way of revenge she would bring down all her British Formula Ford tapes for me.”

Oh cool, so she gained the trust of his family and Mark was hanging out with her son. This is so sweet Alexa, play Chosen Family by Rina Sawayama. Real talk though, again if this is how it had ended - with them just being family friends - then we would not be having this conversation. 

BUT, we all know how this little story ends so onwards we march. We shoot forward to late 1994, Mark has done okay in Formula Ford but his Dad is no longer able to fund him. SO, he turns to their old pal - the ever present and super helpful Ann, bless her heart - to try and drum up some sponsorship for Mark so he can race. 

Little background on why Ann was chosen to try and help with this, I’ll give you 3 guesses and only one of them is correct. Yes, that’s right, it’s her experience - which she has managed to get by being 30 and having a background in motorsports. She started out as a motorsport journo and ended up dealing with press and PR for Paul Warwick (Derek Warwick’s brother). In 1986 she started dealing with Johnny Herbert’s media before working for Formula Ford in Europe in 1991. 

Ann begrudgingly accepts and draws up plans with Mark, which leads him to a Yellow Pages sponsorship for his next season in Formula Ford, and beyond - how sweet, how nice, they are #winning! We stan teamwork besties! And Ann started working with Mark and his family to further his career. 

Ann had a plan for Mark, as outlined in Aussie Grit, p.69-70:

“By the end of 1995 Annie told me, in no uncertain terms, that – and I quote – I had to get my arse out of there. She didn’t just mean Australian Formula Ford, either: she meant Australia. She thought it was time for me to go and have a crack at some of the big guys, and she proposed to help me go about it in a serious, business-like way.

‘How the f#*k are you going to get to Formula 1 coming from Queanbeyan?’ Anyone who wants to trace my journey should start with a piece of paper that Ann drew up on 6 July 1995.”

So, now Ann has outlined her hopes for Mark and a glimmering career in motorsport. I would like us to know that at this point in time Mark was the ripe old age of 18, going on 19. 

In 1996 Ann and Mark moved properly to the UK so Mark could drive in the British Formula Ford Championship - at this point Mark is still 19. At this point he is living in the UK with Ann and her mother, and Ann’s son. 

So this is probably sounding pretty okay so far and sure it’s just a business relationship with a business set up, like no real cause for concern. But then we discover that this business relationship had turned into a relationship-relationship pretty damn fast. 

From the horses mouth himself, Aussie Grit, p.87:

“Back in England, Ann and I moved house to Aylesbury in Buckinghamshire, on the edge of motor sport’s equivalent of Silicon Valley. We had started out as teammates and friends on a mission but over time our friendship had deepened into something else. I enjoyed spending time with her and we felt entirely comfortable in each other’s company. Moving to England was a huge step for me and I think it was a case of us needing one another and that’s how the relationship was formed.”

Okay, okay, okay so I know at this point Mark is 19/20 he’s an adult right? He can make his own choices. But, can we please admit that at best it’s an iffy situation because of the position of power and authority she was in? In his life? For his career? 

There are a few other excerpts I found particularly interesting, about Mark’s family’s reaction (all from Aussie Grit, chapter 3):

“My parents came over to the UK in the English summer of 1997. While they were thrilled about how things were developing for me in racing, they’d been less thrilled by the romantic relationship that was developing between Annie and me....”  “...Annie was bitterly disappointed at my behaviour. Her plan to take me to the highest level of motor sport was starting to go horribly wrong, so she left Australia earlier than planned and headed back to Europe. My family arranged for Alan Docking to collect my belongings from the house we had been sharing and the one and only car Annie and I had at that stage...Campese Management told her that they had been instructed by the Webber family to terminate her role as my manager and that Campese Management would be taking over all aspects of my career, including the negotiation of my driving contracts.“

“While I knew Annie provided the support and guidance I needed in my racing career, I was missing her in so many other ways too. We were such a dynamic force in every sense; we could make things happen when we were together. We were teammates, soul mates, call it what you want.“

“As to Mum’s concern about our age difference, that has never been a factor for us. When we began to be more open about being together, perhaps the top end of the age gap shocked a few people. In those days people were less accepting of a big age difference between partners, especially when it’s our way round. It’s not such a big deal nowadays and it makes us laugh when so-called celebrities reveal they’re dating an older woman or younger man!“

While the Daily Mail is trash, the beginning of this video is very revealing to me - particularly Jackie Stewart’s comments from 00:12.

Obviously you can make up your own conclusions from all of this information, and I would once again like to point out that none of us - not me, not the anons, not you - actually know the nature of their relationship. They have been together for 24 years - good for them! Whatever they have going has obviously worked for them, this is not me trying to shit on that or anything, and I’m gonna be real I’m not the biggest Mark Webber fan. 

Nuance, my old friend. Anon hate, my enemy.

All I want to do is add some nuance to the conversation, an overview of the timeline, an understanding of what the facts are. So that some of those cowardly anons (or anon) can hop off their self-built thrones and get a grip. The sexism and ageism argument literally does not apply here, for all of the evidence and reasons listed above - if the situation was flipped we would still be calling it out. The only difference is you guys would probably be on board with it being called out. 

So Ann is a woman? So, what? Do you think she’s above reproach? You think one person’s 50 note post on this site is gonna rock the foundation of a relationship that has been 26 years in making? If you have answered yes to any of these questions then you are either: a) Mark Webber himself, or b) delusional as hell. You really think that responding by sending anon hate to a teenager, who btw only made a post calling out the age difference because she was shocked and had just discovered it, is the right way to go? 

You really think that sending me this message, attacking other people in such a vile and racist manner is okay?

So you don’t like Nehir and Sera? Good for you, go block them, if you follow them, unfollow them. Those options are free and readily available to you. 

For me, it’s so funny to see you hiding behind that little Anon mask spewing this vile shit. The commitment you have to proving that you are just a cowardly person with nothing better to do than rag on a bunch of different people for reblogging a post, that in the long run is not going to reach the people it’s about, is outstanding. I really hope you pat yourself on the back for this one. 

The pitfalls of discourse and the importance of looking after yourself.

There has definitely been a spate of ‘conversations’ that have been happening recently that have very much been straying into the land of discourse, over very small comments or posts. I think that some people need to remember that we’re all here for our own entertainment and as soon as it stops being fun - you are allowed to log off; you are allowed to block people; you are allowed to unfollow people. 

Sending anon hate is so counterproductive to whatever conversation you think you are starting or having with a person. Also guys, sometimes it’s not that deep - sometimes jokes are just jokes, sometimes someone finds out something they didn’t know about a driver or an ex-driver and they make a joke post about it. That does not give you the right to send them hate, or to make racist comments in other people’s asks. 

Sometimes these discussions require a debate and sometimes discourse can be good - but honestly? I’m worried about some of you guys, it is not healthy to get so angry at other people for the things they post on their blogs that you are not obligated to follow or interact with at all. 

I am also worried about people who turn every little thing into something discoursey. There are causes and issues to care about in this sport and community, for sure. But sometimes you also have to pick your battles - especially when I know a lot people in this community have fragile mental health. I do not say this to patronise any of you but to just provide a reminder that you do not need to engage with everything that makes your blood boil, and furthering some of these conversations sometimes is not doing you guys any good. Burnout is real. 

Please take some time to take care of yourselves, the pandemic is doing a number on all of us and I know being online gives you a gateway to being connected to people, but sometimes you just have to walk away from a discussion. Sometimes you have to just go and reblog something unrelated, or stare at a photo of your favourite driver, or listen to some angry music. Anything else to process your knee jerk reaction, to give yourself time to figure out how you feel about something and whether it’s worth engaging in or not. 

[karasunoparkinglot]

Welcome Home (Reiner x Reader)

• Word Count: ~2.3k

• Pairing: Reiner Braun x fem!reader 

• Warnings: Possible Spoilers. Beginning of Season 4.

You had been waiting for this day for a while now - in fact, you’ve been waiting years. The last time you saw Reiner was when you were both twelve years old, just before he left for Paradis island. You were meant to go with him and the others, but you were gravely injured not long before, making you unworthy to be one of the nine.

However, you grew up with the group that became the nine. You were close with all of them, going through hell and back in training together. But the person you were closest to was Reiner Braun. You did not know why the two of you got on so well, something just, clicked. Maybe it was because you always had a crush on him, always found yourself near him.

The last day you saw one another, you both admitted to having a crush on each other. But you were kids. You doubted that Reiner would still feel the same after nine years, especially after everything he had been through. But for you, he never left your mind. You tried to date different men, see other people, even got with a few women, but no matter how good the time you spend with them was, all you could think about was  him .

How did he look now? How did he act? Did he remember you? 

Those were the thoughts running through your head as you waited for the warriors to return. You stood with his family - yours had died just over a year ago, and the Brauns were nice enough to take you in, not that you needed it, but it was nice not to be alone.

Your foot impatiently tapped the floor as the warriors came flooding in. Gabi Braun was the first one to catch your attention, not that you saw her - for a little girl, she had a loud voice. You knew she was somewhere in the crowd with  him. You bit your lip nervously as the soldiers hugged their families, tears of happiness streaming down their faces.

Moments later, Gabi emerged from the crowd, and just behind her stood Reiner. You felt your breath get caught in your throat. You knew he would look different, there was no doubt, but he looked so grown up, that it caught you a little of guard. Of all the times you envisioned how he looked over the years, you never really came close. His hair was nearly identical to when he was younger, and his golden orbs caught your attention like they always did. Though before they use to show a glint of mischievousness, but now they were hard and emotionless. His face was chiselled, though furrowed with deep lines. His goatee fit his face well, and you could not believe how handsome he had become.

“Reiner,” his mum called, catching his attention. He looked over. “You must be tired. Come home and rest.” His expression softened when he saw his family, though you were sure he had not seen you yet as you were standing behind everyone.

“Mom...I think I will.” Reiner walked over to his family, they greeted each other politely, but no big questions were asked as they started to make their way to the house. You swallowed nervously, still hidden anyway, he still had not seen you. You let everyone walk by, and as Reiner passed, you found your voice.

“Reiner…” His head turned, and instantly his eyes widened. You felt a weight off your shoulders - he recognized you. All the nervous worry you had been feeling that day washed away, and you smiled softly up at him. It was a first, to look up at him, when you were younger you were always the same height. But now he stood over six foot, and it was the first time you were happy you were on the taller side.

He stood a step closer to you and mumbled your name as if he was unsure it was you he was actually seeing. You nodded, suddenly, a different type of nerves filled every fibre in your body. You could not believe after nine years; he still made you feel like that.

“How are you?” he asked. You could see he was battling with himself whether to step closer or not, his arms were slightly raised as if he wanted to go for a hug, but decided against it.

“I’m good.” Your eyes glanced away, feeling slight heat rushing to your cheeks. “How are you?” you forced herself to look back up.

“Good,” the same soft expression from before returned to his face, “happy to be home.”

The two of you walked beside each other as you made your way back to the Braun household. Not many words were exchanged between the two of you, knowing that any questions you asked could lead to something far deeper than intended. You mainly glanced over to him multiple times, trying your best not to get caught checking him out, though you were sure he knew.

Reiner sat at the head of the table, you were to his left, slowly finishing your food as Gabi explained the events of what happened the days prior. You listened carefully, smiling softly, memories of training as a child flooding through your mind.

“She reminds me of you,” Reiner whispered beside you, catching you off guard.

“Me?” You chuckled lightly, and shook your head, “I was far off. Think your memory is a little off.”

“Okay, maybe you weren’t as loud, thankfully,” you both lightly chuckled. “But how Gabi goes around things, how her brain works in battle reminds me of how you were during training. Even though you were not as strong or fast, you would always win because of your plans.” You looked to your food, trying to hide your rosy cheeks, feeling touched he remembered such a small detail. “We needed your plans out there.” Your eyes widened at the last comment. You knew ‘out there’ meant Paradis Island.

Before you could reply, the conversation moved from Gabi to Reiner. Questions were asked about his time at Paradis Island, and you were surprised he was happy to talk about it. You kept your eyes on the empty plate as he spoke. With each word, your hand tightened into a fist. It sounded terrible. You should have been there to help Reiner, Annie, Bertholdt and Marcel. Suddenly, you stood, the scarping of the chair across the floor caught everyone’s attention.

“Excuse me,” you nodded, picking up your plate and heading to the kitchen. The plate clattered as you dropped it into the sink. Your hand gripped the sides of the counter, holding your body weight as your head hung low. Memories swamped your brain. After a moment, you lifted your left hand and balled it into a fist, before slamming it down onto the counter.

“What’s wrong?” Reiner entered the kitchen, seeing your actions. You jumped at his sudden presence beside you; you only met his eyes for a moment.

“Nothing.” You answered.

He huffed a laugh, making your eyebrows pull together. He leaned his back on the counter and brought his arms across his chest. “Somethings never change.” You looked up at him, your frown unchanging. “You were like this when we were kids. Stubborn-”

“I’m not stubborn!”

“-and you would never admit when something was wrong.”

He gave you a knowing look. You sighed and looked back down to the sink. You closed your eyes, trying to relax. “I should have been there,” you said after a moment of silence. “I should have gone with you guys to Paradis Island.”

“Would have been useless with your injury.”

“I could have turned into a Titan and then healed!” You pushed yourself upright, unable to control your emotions.

“And then you wouldn’t be here right now!” He stood tall, towered over you with a hard expression. You swallowed nervously, but you did not back down.

“You said it yourself, with my plans maybe we could have won!”

“Maybe. Or maybe we could have still lost, and I would have lost you too!” You looked away, breathing hard. You did not know what else to say. You thought you were past the situation, that your anger had dwindled over time that you were unable to go to Paradis Island, but talking about it again relit the fire inside. “I’m glad I could come home to you,” his voice was softer. He placed his hand on top of yours.

You cheeks flared up again, and your heart was now racing for a different reason. You looked to him again; his eyes were soft, a touch of a smile on his face. You felt yourself start to calm. He always had that effect on you. Your temper was always an issue of sorts, mainly when to came to Porco. The two of you clashed like two bulls, and Reiner was always able to calm you down before any fists were thrown, the same way Peick was able to clam down Porco.

Suddenly, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around his torso. He was surprised by the action; nevertheless, he returned it - wrapping an arm around your shoulders and his other hand on the back of your head. “I’m happy your home,” you mumbled into his chest, tears stinging your eyes.

“I’m happy to be home too,” he replied, placing a gentle kiss on top of your head.

The two of you stood like that for a while, enjoying each other’s company. You looked up, placing your chin on his chest. “Want to go for a walk?”

“Sure.”

It was chilly as the two of you walked around. You knew Reiner did not want to talk about what had happened, so instead, the two of you reminisced as you recognized places you spent time together at as kids. The two of you talked and laughed. You were worried that with everything that happened, he would have PTSD, so it was nice to see he could relax and push away the horrible memories.

“Do you remember the one area where we could always hear music?” She asked. He nodded. “You still can hear it.”

“Really? I thought the woman would be dead by now. Wasn’t she like ninety?”

“Something like that, but still going strong.” You grinned, grabbing his hand and dragging him along. “Do you remember?”

“Remember what?”

“How to dance! Don’t tell me you forgot all those hours of me teaching you.”

Reiner chuckled. “I couldn’t forget even if I tried.”

“Good.” You stoped, four buildings surrounded the area you both stood in. You faced him, the music already entering your ears. “Dance with me.” You expected him to argue against it - that he didn’t want to, but instead, he took a step closer to you, one hand on your waist and the other in the air, waiting for you to take it.

“If you insist,” he smirked. You felt your stomach flip at the unexpected action. Your eyes glanced to your feet as you took his hand, your cheeks burned red, your other hand landing on his shoulder. After a few moments of moving gently to the music, you leaned forward and placed your head on his chest and closed your eyes, enjoying the moment. A few words were exchanged, though you mainly hummed in reply to what he said.

Suddenly, the music started to speed up, throwing off your rhythm. Reiner took a step back, opening the gap between the two of you. You giggled as he lifted his hand and rotated his wrist, making you spin on the spot.

“REINER!” You laughed as he continued spinning you.

“What? I just want to see all of you,” he replied nonchalantly. You blushed at the comment.

“Reiner, please! I’m getting really dizzy!”

“Alright then,” he stopped you, and just before you fell, he grabbed your waist. You looked at him, and even with the dizziness, you found yourself unable to stop your smile.

“Now I see two of you,” you muttered, your hands raised, and before he could say anything, you planted your hands on his cheeks hard. He winced at the impact. “Sorry, I didn’t know which was your real face.”

Reiner said nothing, and to your surprise, he leaned into your touch. His smile was small when he turned his head and placed a gentle kiss on your hand.

“I’ve missed you,” he mumbled, his hand left your waist and placed it on top of yours. “I never stopped thinking about you. You kept me going. I wanted to come back to you.”

You met eyes, both a dash of pink colouring your cheeks. You swallowed nervously before leaning forward; you glanced down to his lips for a moment before back to his eyes. He did the same. You pushed to your tiptoes; your lips hovered over his. His hot breath mixed with yours, he did not move, so slowly, you closed your eyes and leaned forward, connecting your lips with his.

At first, he did not move, and you were ready to pull away before his grip on your waist tightened, and his other hand moved from yours and placed it on your cheek. It was as though a bolt shot through him, and suddenly he was awake and hungry for more. He pushed forward, harshly kissing you - not that you minded it, in fact, it made your stomach fill with butterflies. His mouth opened, you followed suit, feeling the same hunger he did, your hand now running through his hair.

A sudden squeal left your lips at it started pouring down with rain.

“Shit, we’ve got to go!” You tried to run, but Reiner held your in place firmly.

“Do we though? I was enjoying it.”

“Who said we’re heading back to the house?” You answered with a coy smile. His eyes widened, a smirk forming.

“Then lead the way.”

[lunaekalenda]

Heyo can I get an Armin x fem reader where he’s currently dating Annie and reader is a new student and Armin and reader start to get to know each other more and start to gain feelings for each other and reader doesn’t know he’s dating Annie and shes on pretty good terms with her since Annie sort of envies her cuz she’s sweet and outgoing, so reader asks him out he says yes and things are great for them until Annie starts to realize Armins been distancing himself from her and hanging out with reader a lot and she confronts him about it and he admits that he just fell out of love and started gaining heavy feelings for reader and they break up even though Annie’s hurt she tries to stay happy and accepts reader and armins new found relationship:3 (can it be a modern AU and can it be in 1st POV from either reader or Armin please and thank you)

hiii!! :D omg yes!! i hope you like it! sorry if i took long to write it :’) and i think it’s a little messed up sorry

i hope it is what you’ve asked for! i didn’t want to make it longer, so this is it!

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

❁ Private lessons

❁ Armin x female reader

❁ !! : cheating

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

"So this is your new classmate, I hope you get along well."

Everybody smiles, specially a blue-eyed girl on the first row. The professor tells me to sit next to her.

"Hi, I'm Historia." She smiles sweetly. I smile back at her. Professor Keith starts his class, and I do my best to follow his explanations.

I used to study in a south zone institute, but my dad was posted north which made me move and switch to this institute. Near to Historia, and looking at her, is a tall girl with brown eyes and a low ponytail. On my other side, there’s a brown-haired boy with freckles, looking nice and smiling. Behind him, a boy with an undercut looks bored. The professor starts talking about history, and Historia passes me a paper.

“I can give you my notes for you to copy” I smile at her and nod. An hour after, the class is finished. 

“Okay, I’ll introduce you to all. This girl here is Ymir.” she points to the tall girl, that is walking towards us. She hugs Historia while talking. 

“I hate history classes, oh, my sweet and beloved Historia, if you...”

“I’ll help you to study this afternoon.” Ymir smiles at her and kisses her cheek in signal of thanks. “Oh, the new one.” I smile at Ymir and she does the same.

Historia points a huge blonde boy, that was sitting behind me. He’s talking with a black-haired tall guy. “Those two are Reiner and Bertholdt. And the blonde girl coming is Annie” A girl with a bun goes to the door, followed by a boy. “And that’s Armin. He’s always with Eren and Eren is always with Mikasa.” They are following Armin. The boy with freckles comes and smiles at me.

“Hi, I’m Marco! I hope we can became friends! He’s Jean, my best friend.” The boy with the undercut waves his hand at me.

“Oh, and the two fighting for cup of ramen are Connie and Sasha. Now, should we eat together?” I nod to Marco and Historia. They pull their tables together and star eating. They tell me how was the first semester and try to know if my institute on the south was giving the same subjects than here, and told me to join their study group. 

“Armin gives us classes. He’s really smart and catches up all the subjects, and he also likes to explain.” They tell me that the next session is going to be tomorrow afternoon on Reiner’s. “We take turns studying at each other's house, so it's not always the same host” Actually that’s a good plan, so I guess someday I’ll have to be a host too. My face darkens as I remember that my house is too small to accommodate more than three people in the same room. Mom and Dad live in a flat that dad's company gave them, but the distance between that apartment and the institute made them decide to rent a one-man flat for me. We keep eating and attending the next classes. 

Faster than I thought, the afternoon of the study group arrived. I took all the books before leaving home, and walked towards the entrance, where Marco, that lives literally next door, was waiting to help me arrive to Reiner’s home. He was dressing casually, not a huge difference between seeing him on the school uniform. 

“Good morning!” Marco says when I left the entrance. I wave my hand at him. “Ready for a studying session?” 

“I think so, but everybody raves about how well Armin explains, so I’m impatient to see it! I think I need a lot of help to pass this course.”

“That’s normal, you arrived in the middle of it! But I’m sure you’ll be okay, your grades on the other institute were pretty high!” Marco, as the class delegate, had to pass my expedient to the new institute, and he looked at my grades to do it. We walk in silence while he explains me some streets or where our classmates lived.

“Reiner’s house is the one furthest from the institute, the rest of us live near it.” 

Once were in Reiner’s house, a lot of classmates were waiting outside. Jean walked towards Marco.

 “I knew you could guide the new girl here without problem!” Jean smiles at me and Historia comes, followed by Ymir.

“Oh, you arrived!” Historia says. Then, Reiner makes us enter his house. We all sit when Armin arrives. He has his blonde hair messy, and his hands are occupied with some papers. 

The studio group is outgoing and nice to me, but when Armin starts to explain history of the north, I’m totally lost. He looks at me with curiosity.

Armin’s eyes were so beautiful, and every time he looks at me my heart flutters. 

“Do you understand it?” I shake my head. The north history is totally new for me, I never studied it. “Don’t worry, are you free tomorrow?” 

“Hm, yes, I am” He smiles before writing something on a paper. “There’s were I live. Come at four and I’ll explain everything to you, with detail.”

He was so sweet I couldn’t say no, so I nod and smile at him. 

Walking back home, Marco explains me where Armin lives.

“Up that street, the last house. He lives in front of Eren and Mikasa.”

Marco invited me to have dinner with him and Jean in a near bar, where, surprisingly, also Connie was having dinner. When I asked him why he was there alone, he told me.

“I took some dinner with me but Sasha ate it, and now I have to have some dinner because I’m about to pass out of hunger.”

“Can we sit here, Conn?” Marco asks and Connie nods. We have dinner between laughs and stories. and everybody leaves once we’re finished.

The next day, I'm in front of Armin's house, waiting for him. He makes me go into his house.

"Sorry if my room is messed up, I just woke up." He says, with his hand on his neck. I laugh.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure your room is more organized than mine.” He lets me pass in front of him to a clear and enormous room. It has a lot of books and a shelf full of seashells. He tells me to take off my jacket and put it on a near chair. We sit on the floor, near to the coffee table he has in the middle of the room. He takes some books with him.

“Okay, so North History.” I nod. He starts to explain me with calm and quiet voice, making sure I understand everything, and looking me in the eyes. 

I can’t concentrate if his ocean eyes are fixed on mine. Once Armin ends explaining me the unit, we agreed in having a little break. He passes me a cup of coffee and a couple cookies. 

“So, do you like the city?” he asks. I nod while swallowing the coffee.

“Yes, it’s pretty cool. In the south we don’t have this big cities like in the north, Is more like a rural place. So at first it was complicated for me to move.” Armin nods, telling me without words that he understands me. 

“Well, I can show you the city. I’m not a talkative person but I know a lot about the history of the place, so I can tell you about some of the famous buildings.”

“That would be amazing...” Thanks to my parents, I was born without the gift of shame. Armin had caught my eye, so why not give it a try? “Something like a date?”

Armin laughs, kinda blushing.

“Yes, something like a date.” he answers.

A couple weeks later, after passing a lot of time with Armin, we decided to go and explore the city. I choose a yellow dress my mum bought me for our date. He was there when I arrived. 

“Hi!” He looks at me when I talk to him. He smiles a bit.

“Hi” answers. We start walking. Where do you want to start?”

“What about the park?” He nods. We walk, and he tells me a lot of curious things about the city. “Did you know this was a prison?” 

The, he invites me, buying me an ice cream. We sit on a cool park, and we eat the ice creams in silence. His phone starts to sound. He looks the name of the person who’s calling, but he puts his phone again on his pocket.

“Sorry, you know how many times a day do telephone companies call.” I nod, totally clueless. He was kinda nervous after that, and it made me think he maybe wasn’t talking with telephone companies.

After the long day out, my feet hurt. Armin laughs and accompanies me home. Once we’re at my door, Armin smiles sweetly. 

“Do you want to enter?” I ask. Armin’s face blushes. “N-No! I wasn’t asking like that?!”

“I know, I know.” he laughs, “Anyway, I should go home. It’s kinda late.” he looks the hour on his phone. I can glimpse a blonde girl on his wallpaper, smiling at the camera.

“Well, thanks for today...” I say, in low voice, He smiles and lends closer to me. His gaze fixed on my mouth.

“See you tomorrow?” I ask. He hums before leaning even closer and he kisses me.

I kiss him back. I was literally hoping for this to happen. His arms are around my waist. When we part, I’m kinda dizzy. He’s an awesome kisser, not gonna lie. 

“Bye, then.”

He’s about to leave, but what kind of boy leaves a girl right after kissing her? I took his hand.

“Does this mean that now we are dating?” I ask. He smiles wide.

“Probably. I’ll wait for you tomorrow.” He kisses me again, lightly, and then he leaves. 

Our relationship grew really fast, but he didn’t want to look that closer at school.

“You know, professors might think we’re not fixed on our studies.”

And he also was really close to Annie. I wasn’t jealous, he spends a lot of time at my house, my mum loves him and we are so in love...

Annie looks at me with anger while we’re in music class. She’s fixed on me. When she comes to talk with me, Armin intercepts her.

“Annie! can we talk outside a bit?” He says. She looks at me, but then nods. I stand up and follow them. They’re talking in the corridor. I tell myself to sit and mind my own business, but her tone makes me stay there, listening,

“You’re really close to her now.” she says. Armin asks her to be quiet.

“Annie, I only love you...”

“You’ve been lying for a fucking month. Stop it already, Armin. Tell me the truth, or I’ll ask her.”

“I...” I can hear Annie’s steps, but it’s late to go back to my seat. Fortunately, Armin calls her. “Wait, Annie! See... I... I don’t love you. It was fast, but I fell in love with her. She’s really sweet and I couldn’t handle it. She studied so close to me... Her lips so close... And admit it, our relationship was about to die.” He says. Annie doesn’t make a sound. 

Were Annie and Armin dating?

Did I break a couple?

Oh, no.

“Well, we...”

“We were sinking, And because of you.” he says. “You wasted a lot of time with Reiner and Bert. You were the one always occupied to see me. The one that never came to our dates. I need someone to be with, Annie, and you weren’t filling that desire, so I started to feel less and less for you. And she loves me. She always asks me to do something with her, either watch a movie or just lay down together. She counts me on her plans. I deserve something like what I give. So, I hope you can be happy with another one.”

“But why you waited so long to break up with me?”

“I thought you knew I was cheating on you. I was kinda obvious.”

Annie keeps being quiet.

“Hope you two be happy then.” she says, before walking to the opposite direction. 

Maybe their relationship was made to sink. Armin enters again, and I look interested to the books on the shelf.

“You’re so cute...” he says. I smile a bit.

The doubt about asking him or not about what just happened dissapears when I feel his lips on mine.

“We don’t have to hide now?” I ask. He shakes his head.

“No more.”

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

Go to the ends of the earth for you - Part 4

Bet you thought I'd forgotten this didn't you? I have no excuses, except that it's been misbehaving and would not go right. It was meant to be the last chapter but they had a lot to say even though not much happens!

(AO3 link)

Fourteen months later

Aaron couldn’t stand still, never mind Seb. It was early, he’d left the village far too early in his excitement, but he hadn’t wanted to be late, that would’ve been unbearable. It’s two months since they’d found out his release date, it coming through the day of Annie’s funeral and now the day was finally here.

“How long Dada?”

“Not long mate. Do you want to sit inside the car? Are you cold?”

“No. I don’t want to miss Daddy.” He smiled and wrapped an arm round him, sitting next to him on the bonnet of the car. He couldn’t help wondering if this was how Robert had felt all those years ago, waiting, wondering.

“You won’t. Promise.”

“And he’s staying, not goin’ away again?”

“No, definitely not. He’s not going anywhere.”

“Not even if those people don’t like him?”

“What people?” He could sense a note of fear in Seb’s voice, suddenly quiet.

“The man with no hair, Granny Faith took me to get a cookie and I heard him, he was talking about Daddy.” Aaron let out a sigh. He’d had very little to do with Paddy or his Mum the past year but he knew their dislike of Robert hadn’t dimmed one little bit, and now it was affecting Seb. He crouched in front of him, ruffling his hair a little.

“Daddy’s not going anywhere, no matter what anyone says. So if you hear anyone talking about him again take no notice ok?” Seb nods and leans forward for a cuddle. Aaron doesn’t want to let him go so he just stays like that.

“Can I get in on that hug.” The voice startles him so much he almost drops Seb in shock. Turning he finds Robert standing there, familiar grin in place, and he laughs a little.

“Daddy!”

“Hi little man.” Aaron hands him over to Robert with a smile, content to wait for his own moment with him. “You’ve got so big!”

“I’m almost half the window!” Robert looks confused, looking to Aaron for help.

“We’ve been marking how he’s growing haven’t we? Every Friday night he stands next to the window and we put a mark on the wall.”

“That’s amazing.” He lets Seb chatter, eyes never leaving Aaron’s, eventually pulling him into a one armed hug, that would have to do as it seemed Seb was in no mood to let go of his Dad anytime soon.

The excitement is clearly too much and by the time they reach the outskirts of Hotten, Seb’s dropped off in the back of the car, head leaning against the side of his car seat, giraffe toy clutched in his hand. Aaron reaches over and squeezes Robert’s hand.

“You ok?”

“I am now. So, what am I facing back in the village?”

“Nothing much, I promise. Gran said she might pop in, and Vic wants you to meet Harry, at some point but I told her to leave it for today. I don’t think Paddy or my Mum will be hanging out any bunting, if that’s what you were hoping for.”

“I got that much…Seb heard him?” Aaron nods. “Great.”

“Hey, it was a one off. It won’t be long before we’re out of there will it?”

“You still want to leave?”

“I want what’s best for our family, and I don’t think that’s the village is it.”

Robert doesn’t answer and he’s quiet for the rest of the drive. Aaron leaves him to it, knowing it takes some adjustment when you first get out of prison. The village is quiet when he pulls the car to a stop at the house, Robert looking around seeing if anything has changed.

“You want to go inside?”

“No. I…can we go to the graveyard?” Aaron nods. “I just want to say goodbye.”

Aaron had hated going to the prison, telling Robert that his Gran had died, knowing he wouldn’t be able to go to the funeral, and say goodbye. Instead Aaron had stood next to Vic in his place, but he knew Robert felt guilty anyway, that he’d not been there.

Robert’s quiet as they stand there, the plaque on the wooden cross glinting in the sunlight. He shifted Seb in his arms so he could take his hand.

“Vic wouldn’t hear of sorting out a stone, not until you were here, same with her will.”

“I should’ve called more, should’ve visited, but I got so wrapped up in everything, and I suppose, I knew what she’d say about Chrissie, knew she’d see through me especially after I met you, so I stayed away. Then everything just kept getting in the way.”

“You called, I heard you. She knew you loved her Robert.”

“Maybe. I wish she could’ve met him,” He runs a hand through Seb’s hair, the little boy still sleeping, head resting on Aaron’s shoulder. “And you.”

“What would she have said about me then?” Robert chuckles.

“He’s a nice enough lad, Robert, but he could dress a bit more smartly. You know what I think of those hoodie things. She would’ve loved ya, known how much I love you.” He takes another look at the grave. “Come on, let’s go home.”

————

The next few days are quiet, the weekend allowing them the excuse to stay indoors away from everyone. The only people they see are Vic with Harry and his Gran who drops in with some supplies insisting she knew they wouldn’t want to go to the shop, full of apologies for what Seb overheard, which they wave away because it’s not her fault that Paddy just can’t keep his mouth shut.

After that Aaron has to go back to work. Cain probably wouldn’t mind if he took some more time but he doesn’t want to take advantage, and besides they have to try and get back to normality at some point.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take him to nursery?” Robert’s staring at a cup of coffee and has been the past twenty minutes, but he looks over at Seb who’s playing by the sofa.

“I can take care of him.”

“I know, but…I s’pose I thought you’d want to check in at the haulage firm. He’ll be fine there, he likes it.” He steps over, hands resting on Robert’s shoulders. “I can come with you if you want, Cain will give me an extra hour.”

“You think I can’t cope?” He doesn’t react, he’s gotten used to the defensive tone in Robert’s voice over the past few days, knows it’s not directed at him.

“No. Of course you can, but I know how strange it is coming back after you’ve been inside, and that’s without wanting to avoid my family.” Robert looks up at him. “I’m not daft Robert.”

“I know that.”

“So…why don’t we take Seb to nursery this morning, and you pick him up and the three of us will have lunch. We can’t stay shut in here for the next year.” Robert nods. “Come on monster, you ready for nursery?”

“What about Daddy?”

“I’ll pick you up at lunchtime, and then me, you and Dada are going to the…where are we going?” He asks as he tries to get Seb to stand still long enough to get into his coat.

“Pub?”

“Feel like living dangerously do you?”

“I’m not hidin’. We can do the cafe if you’d rather.”

“No, no, it’s been a while since I’ve felt the death rays, I almost miss them.” Happy that he’s brought a smile to his face, Aaron kisses him goodbye and hurries Seb out of the door.

————

The pub is about half full when they get inside and he points at the table by the fire telling Robert he’ll get their drinks while he settles Seb down. He can see his Mum by the bar, pretending not to look at them but he knows better. She’s next to Cain who lifts his pint and winks at him. He’d told him his plan that morning. He wasn’t going to let Robert feel as though he couldn’t go about the village because of his Mum and Paddy. Robert hadn’t said as much but Aaron wasn’t stupid. He goes to order but Robert’s hand on his arm stops him and he smiles.

Matty takes their order and everyone leaves them alone. There’s some kind of delay with their food, Marlon’s probably having one of his tantrums so he goes to order another drink. He knows his Mum has been watching the whole time.

He subtly waves Matty away when he tries to serve him, locking eyes with his Mum and staring until she comes over.

“Two pints and an orange for Seb please.” He bites back a laugh when she all but snatches the money from him without saying a word.

“Playing with fire aren’t you?” Cain sidles round the bar to his side.

“I told you, I’m not hiding away and neither is Robert. Are you going to throw the Dingle code in my face if I don’t stop?”

“Nah. I reckon it’s about time she got a taste of her own medicine.” He says seeing her going into the back, their drinks abandoned on the side. He looks over at his uncle, surprised. “Tried telling me I shouldn’t have given you a job not long after I took you on.”

“What?”

“Said I was going against the family. Told her it weren’t me doing that…she ignored me for a few weeks but I reckon she found not many people wanted to listen, so now she’s talking again but she’s frosty. Suits me. Less earache that way.” He snorts a little as Matty brings over the abandoned order. He gives him the rest of their order before going back to the table, not that surprised that Cain follows.

“Alright Sugden. Good to see you.”

“Er, cheers Cain.” He gives Aaron a look but he shakes his head. He’ll tell him later.

“Here.” He hands him his drink when Cain’s gone back to the bar without another word.

“Ta. What’d your Mum say?”

“Nothing. Literally. Guess it’s a good job she’s not like that with all her customers or her trip advisor rating would be rubbish.” He lays a hand on Robert’s knee at the look on his face. “Leave it, she’s not worth the trouble.”

“She’s your Mum.”

“Mmm, who can’t support my decisions. I’ve had a year to get used to this Robert. It’s better than her being in my ear all the time about you.” He looks down at Seb, thankfully engrossed in his colouring and not listening. “She can get as annoyed as she likes, this is our local for the next few months and I’m not avoiding it because of her.”

“I quite like this new you.” He laughs at Robert’s face as Marlon puts their food down with a smile.

“Eat your food.” He can’t help smiling to himself though.

————

“You ready?” Aaron can’t help pulling at his tie as they stand outside the solicitors office in Hotten, the sunshine making him feel hot in his suit. He supposed he didn’t really need one, it was only the reading of a will but Robert had put his on so Aaron had followed suit.

“I think so. Where’s Vic? She said half past?” Robert worrying about being on time was a new thing, probably left over from prison Aaron mused, you lived by timetables in there. He rubbed a hand up his arm to reassure him.

“She was taking Harry and Seb to Diane’s remember? She’ll be here.” Robert nods. He’s been quiet all morning. Aaron supposes he’s still grieving for his Gran and the fact that he couldn’t say goodbye properly. “See, here she is.”

Vic rushes up to them, complaining about Diane keeping her talking and then Robert’s ushering them inside, taking charge and the two of them let him. Aaron wants to laugh at how much time he’s spent in a solicitor’s office this past year for one thing and another and not once because he was in trouble. It made a nice change.

Thankfully they’re not kept waiting and then they’re sitting in this posh office and Aaron can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. He’s always thought of Annie Sugden as a typical farmer’s wife and mother, not well off, just comfortable enough for her old age. Neither Robert nor Vic seem surprised at the sums been bandied about so he keeps quiet.

“No.” Robert’s whisper drags him out of his thoughts, just catching the man in front of them mentioning a house, looking straight at Robert. “She can’t.”

“Mr Sugden…”

“No! She wouldn’t.” He’s out of his chair, all but running from the office before Aaron can stop him. He goes after him, hoping Vic will make their apologies, hoping he’s not got far. He’s right outside, leaning against the wall, breathing hard.

“You ok?”

“Did you hear?”

“Yeah. Your Gran left you her house.” He’s confused by the reaction because surely Robert knew he was in the will, he’d been invited to the reading after all. “That’s…good isn’t it?”

“I don’t deserve it. She…can’t. Not after everything I’ve done.”

“She knew all that, and she still wanted you to have it. She obviously loved you Robert, you were her grandson.”

“No, if she’d know I was in prison she wouldn’t…she’d be so disappointed in me, ruining the Sugden name.”

“Rob?” He moves aside to let the siblings hug each other. He feels out of his depth because he didn’t know Annie, has no idea if Robert’s right. He hopes she wasn’t like that, wouldn’t disown her grandson given everything, but he was so convinced. “It’s what Gran wanted.”

“Should’ve been for you, not me. You’ve been here all these years, I haven’t even visited or anything.”

“You called her, she told me how much she used to love hearing about Seb. Anyway she left me money which is better than a house. It’ll help me more.”

“Vic, did the solicitor say when the will was written?” Aaron can see that Robert’s gearing up for another bout of convincing himself he’s not worth any of it and he says the only thing he can think of.

“About a month before she died.”

“And she knew…about Robert, about what we’d done, everything?” She nods and he smiles in thanks before turning to Robert. “See? She knew everything and she still wanted you to have it.”

“But…”

“No buts. I didn’t know her, so you tell me, did anyone ever make your Gran do anything she didn’t want?” He snorts and Vic’s laughing, leaning against her brother.

“I suppose not. Still…seems unfair, that house is worth more than what you got Vic.”

“Maybe but Gran’s helped me out a lot over the years and not you. I’m not bothered by it Rob, so you don’t need to be.”

“Besides, if you keep it I expect Vic will be quite happy to borrow it every now and then, eh?” She shoves him playfully but his words have the desired effect, Vic’s love of the sunshine is well known and Robert teases her whenever she moans about the lack of it in Yorkshire. “Might have to up the rent mind or she’ll never leave.”

“Oi you! You might be my brother-in-law but I knew you long before he did.”

“Yeah yeah.”

“You didn’t you know.” Robert says as they’re walking back to their cars. “I met him at Katie and Andy’s wedding.”

“You did?” Aaron can just remember being dragged to some party because his Mum was working. He’d just been glad to be away from his Dad for a few days but he can’t remember Robert.

“Mmm. You were sat at the bar on some manky video game. Had a right face on you. Mind you, so did I. I wanted to be anywhere but at their wedding.” His face changes, memories coming all at once and Aaron takes his hand, knowing exactly where his mind has gone. “So…I fancy some chips.”

“Dressed like this?”

“Why not. There’s no law says you can’t eat chips in a suit.” With that he walks ahead leaving Aaron and Vic to catch up, smiling at each other. Aaron’s not blind, he can see just how Robert’s mood has improved from being out of the village, despite the circumstances.

————

“Seb, come on bedtime.” Robert’s in the bath so it’s his turn to try and get the little boy into bed. Just lately he’s become determined to stay up as late as possible even when he’s falling asleep on his feet. “I’ll read you two stories if you go up now.”

“No.”

“It’s already late and you have nursery tomorrow. You don’t want to be too tired to play with Isaac do you?”

“Not go to nursery.” He carries on colouring, despite the adamant statement.

“Why?” Aaron sits down beside him, instantly worried, because he loves nursery and hates leaving.

“Stay here with Daddy. So he’s not sad.”

“Why do you think Daddy will be sad? He knows you like nursery, he won’t mind mate.”

“Cos he was, other day.” Seb whispers, looking up at him with big eyes.

“He was? Do you know why?”

“The man. He saw him. Uncle Cain was there and he told the man to be quiet but Daddy’s still sad.” He crawls into Aaron’s lap, picture abandoned. Aaron doesn’t need to ask which man, Seb only uses those words for one person.

“Oh, well you don’t have to worry about that mate, I’m here now. I’ll make sure Daddy isn’t sad anymore.”

“Why doesn’t the man like Daddy? He’s fun, he plays with me when I ask.”

“I know he does. You don’t worry about any of that ok, I’ll sort it. That man won’t upset Daddy again, promise.” He hugs him tighter before tickling him to make him laugh. “Now, come on, bed. I’ll even let you stay awake until Daddy’s done in the bath, but you have to get into your ‘jamas first.”

He tries his best not to let Seb see how angry he is but he has to take a couple of minutes to himself in the kitchen calming down before going upstairs. He was going to pay a visit to Paddy the next morning because he wasn’t having the little boy upset, let alone Robert.

[henrycavillobsessed]

Porcelain

Characters: Henry Cavill x Anwen Evans (fictional fiance)

Summary: Henry and Anwen’s life was perfect. Until one day, one phone call, changes everything.

Words: 3,444

TW/CW: Death, car accident, description of injuries, hospital, grief. Slight mention of implied sex; some bad language. 

Notes: So here it is, my latest fanfic. It’s been a while, due to a bit of a mind block. The idea for this came to me, after being inspired by the song Porcelain by Emarosa (link below in case you’re interested). This one is different to my other fics, for one it’s not the usual Henry x reader narrative. I have created a character this time to act as his partner. Also this one is LONG (3,444 words). I have enjoyed writing a longer and more complex story and I hope you enjoy reading it. (As a warning, it’s SAD. I am not ashamed to admit I cried just writing it.)

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/7rk8cH53nI8ffb5ZccjfpT?si=QMVvEmA3TK-3WuQXJanMmQ

“Oww! Shit!”

Henry looked up from the book he was reading in bed. Anwen was rubbing her forehead and looking very wounded. She’d clearly just walked into the doorframe. Again. Henry laughed out loud.

“Don’t laugh at me!” A pillow flew through the air and missed its target of Henry’s face by a considerable amount. He laughed again. 

“I can’t help it. You are so clumsy!”

Anwen climbed into bed, still massaging the sore spot on her head. She scowled at Henry. “If I remember correctly Mr Cavill, it was because of me being clumsy that meant we met for the very first time.”

“Hmm,” Henry reached over and gathered her up in his arms, leaning back against the headboard. He kissed her gently on the faint bruise that was blooming on her pale skin. “I do remember,” he said fondly. 

          It had been over five years ago now. Henry was out with his friend and colleague Simon Pegg, drinking their way through some of London’s best nightclubs. It had been a great night so far, with both men enjoying their freedom; they’d recently finished filming their latest movie and were celebrating. Henry was feeling happily tipsy, and when Simon offered to go to the bar for another round, he didn’t refuse. 

“Get some shots too!” he shouted at Simon’s back as he left their table. Simon waved a hand in response; Henry took that as a yes and smiled. He was just checking his Instagram on his phone when something- someone- crashed into him and he felt the cold wetness of a spilt drink over his shoulder and down his shirt. He looked up incredulously. A woman was stood there with an empty glass and an equally shocked expression.

“Oh, my go- I am so sorry!” she said in a very attractive Welsh accent, Henry thought. He felt his annoyance dissipate immediately. 

“Hey, don’t worry about it, accidents happen. How much have you had to drink anyway?” he asked cheekily. 

The woman’s ivory skin blushed, contrasting prettily with her ebony hair, which was cascading around her shoulders in thick waves.

“Um, I actually don’t drink,” she admitted. “I have just shown you how uncoordinated I am; I really don’t need to throw alcohol into the mix.” 

“Very wise. Hi, I’m Henry Cavill.”

“Anwen Evans, nice to meet you.” They shook hands and were making pleasant small talk when Simon returned with the drinks.

“What on earth happened to your shirt?” he asked Henry. 

“Anwen happened. Anwen, this is my friend Simon Pegg.” 

Anwen’s face lit up. “I love your movies! Hot Fuzz is just hilarious!” she said to Simon, who smiled widely and they spent the next few moments quoting lines from the film. Simon looked sideways at Henry, and saw the way he was looking at Anwen, and cleared his throat.

“Well, it’s been lovely to meet you, but I must get on. Henry, I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said, winking at his friend. Henry mouthed a silent thank you, grinning. 

After Anwen explained to her girlfriend’s that she was going to continue the night with Henry, prompting a lot of excited giggling and whispering, she sat herself down at Henry’s table. The hours flew by as they got to know each other. Anwen was an up-and-coming chef, who’d recently opened a new restaurant nearby in London. She told Henry about the restaurant’s menu, and Henry promised to try it out soon. In return, Henry told her about the films he’d been in. He was mock-outraged when Anwen admitted she’d never seen a Superman movie, let alone Man of Steel, and laughing, she promised she’d check it out soon. Conversation naturally flowed between them, Henry felt so at ease with her, and it turned out they had quite a bit in common. As Henry told Anwen about his akita Kal, Anwen told him she also had a dog, a golden retriever named Ciri.

“Ciri?” Henry had asked. “As in Ciri from The Witcher?”

“Yeah! I’m such a huge fan, I’ve read all the books, and I’ve played all the games!”

Henry laughed. “You are never going to believe who I’ve just been cast as for my next job…” Anwen’s jaw dropped to the floor when he told her. 

The night ended with Henry walking Anwen home to her nearby townhouse, and they shared their first kiss on the doorstep, swapping numbers with the promise to meet up again soon for a date.

          Now back in the present, nearly six years later, Anwen had moved into Henry’s penthouse, with Ciri who Kal adored. Both dogs were curled up at the end of the bed now, fast asleep.

In Henry’s arms, Anwen cuddled in close. “Yes, so if it wasn’t for me tripping and drenching you that night we wouldn’t be here now, so stop taking the piss!”  

“Okay, okay!” Henry laughed. “I do worry though, you know. You’re like… like porcelain. So easily broken. Be more careful, I’d hate for something to happen, for me to lose you. I love you so much, my Annie.”

“Don’t be so soft! I’m not going anywhere, not for a long time. And I’ll love you until the day I’m gone, and if I can love after, then I will then too. So shush,” Anwen replied, placing a kiss on his lips.

“Anyway, I’m not that breakable, I don’t think. Wanna test this theory?” 

Swinging her legs around Henry’s waist, Anwen straddled him and seductively removed her top. She was braless underneath. Henry whistled low, and licked his lips.

“Yes ma’am.”

          Henry and Anwen’s life continued in perfect bliss. Both had never been as happy as they were with each other. Anwen was now an established celebrity chef, having opened many more restaurants worldwide, written a few cookbooks and even been on television a couple of times. Henry’s career as an actor was skyrocketing, his role at Geralt in The Witcher making him a household name. This meant that he had to travel all around the globe for work, however this didn’t impact his and Anwen’s relationship in the slightest, as she regularly went with him, using the time to research new recipes for her business. When they had spare time, they enjoyed exotic holidays, and it was on the white powder sand of the Maldives that Henry proposed. Anwen had burst into tears and accepted immediately, and they’d spent the rest of that holiday on their private island mostly naked, enjoying each other as an engaged couple.           Their home life was refreshingly normal however. Behind closed doors, they were just Henry and Anwen, not the famous actor and the celebrity chef. They both took in turns to cook dinner, did the housework together and spent the evenings cwtched up on the sofa watching old movies. Laughter was a staple in their home, in fact they only ever rowed when England played Wales at rugby during the Six Nations. Life was indeed bliss, and it seemed nothing could burst this content bubble they were living in.

            One average day in late autumn, Anwen was sat at the kitchen table, with her laptop open in front of her and Ciri snoozing quietly at her feet. Dressed in a pair of comfy sweats and a loose off-the-shoulder jumper, her hair piled artfully messy on top of her head and holding a large cup of coffee in her hands, she was looking at wedding venues online, finally making a start on planning their special day. A huge binder was also open on the table with multiple sheets on paper sticking out of it. She’d made plenty of notes and had lots of ideas; it was now time to put them into action. Henry walked into the kitchen, looking very stylish in back jeans and a tight black t-shirt. He was holding Kal’s lead and the akita was tip-tapping on the tiles behind him, clearly very excited about going for a walk. Ciri didn’t even raise her head, happy enough to stay in with her mum and continue her nap. 

“I’m going to take Kal with me to the meeting with my manager,” he said to Anwen. “Then do you fancy meeting me after with Ciri and we’ll take them for a walk in the park?” 

“Yes, my love, sounds lush. How long will you be do you think?”

“Not sure, I’ll call you when I’m done.”

“Sounds like a plan!”

“What are you up to today?” Henry asked, walking over to Anwen and kissing her on the top of her head. “Wedding stuff?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna send off some emails now this morning and then go to this bakery and try out some wedding cake samples,” Anwen smiled.

“Well, I’m jealous! Have a great day honey, I’ll call you later. Love you!”

“Love you, bye!” she called as he walked out the front door.

          Henry’s meeting was going well. His manager had quite a few prospective roles lined up for him, and Henry was interested in the majority of them. His mind wandered to Anwen every so often; he still missed her when they were apart. As the meeting was coming to a close and Kal started getting excited again at going for another walk, Henry’s phone rang. He looked at the caller ID- withheld number. 

“Hello?”

“Is this Mr Henry Cavill? I’m a nurse here at London hospital. We have you down here as Miss Anwen Evans’s emergency contact.”

Henry paled. “Is she okay?”

“I’m afraid Miss Evans has been involved in a serious accident. We have her here at the emergency department. Can you get here straight away?”

          Henry had never moved so quickly in his entire life. After giving his manager a hurried explanation and asking him whether he’d look after Kal, he’d gotten in his car and sped through the streets of London, not caring that he was breaking the speed limit. He parked illegally, jumping out of the vehicle and sprinting into the hospital. His mind was in overdrive, all sorts of scenarios going through his head. He felt sick with fear and exertion. Flying into the emergency room, he looked around wildly, finding a nurse sat at the front desk.

“Anwen Evans? I’m here for Anwen Evans, I’m Henry Cavill,” he cried desperately. The nurse didn’t hesitate.

“Come with me.”

She explained to Henry what had happened on the way. “Anwen was crossing the road at a zebra crossing when she tripped halfway, according to witnesses. There was a speeding car, who didn’t see her. He… he ran right over her. He didn’t stop. There are police looking for the car and driver as we speak.”

The flash of anger that Henry felt was so severe that his steps faltered for a second. But then he pushed it away, to be dealt with later. All that mattered now was Anwen. 

“Mr Cavill, Anwen is in a bad way. She has a serious brain injury, and multiple body fractures. The trauma team managed to get her stable, but it’s touch-and-go. The next twenty-four hours are critical,” the nurse said gently. “Prepare yourself before you go in.”

She opened the door to the dimly lit room. The sound of machines beeping dominated the otherwise peaceful atmosphere. Henry moved closer to the bed, his mouth dry, hands shaking. His Annie was lying in the bed, connected to the machines, wires snaking out from every part of her it seemed. Her beautiful black hair was covered by thick white bandages wrapped around her head, and every part of her skin was purple and blue bruises. Her striking green eyes, usually so full of love and sparkle, were swollen shut. Henry had never seen anything so heartbreaking; tears coursed unbidden down his cheeks.

“Can I sit by her? Hold her hand?” he choked to the nurse. 

“Of course, pet.”

He pulled up a chair to her bedside and ever so gently took Anwen’s hand in his. It was reassuringly warm. He could do nothing for a moment but stroke it slowly. Worry filled every part of his being. 

“I’m here Annie. It’s your Henry. Come back to me, you can get through this,” he whispered, and then as sobs wracked through him, he added, “you said you’d love me until you’re gone and I’ll be damned if you’re going anywhere yet.” 

For the next few hours, Henry didn’t leave Anwen’s side; he didn’t let go of her hand. He held onto hope that she would get better. After all, porcelain could break yes, but it could also be fixed. And he would do anything to fix her. 

          As it approached eighteen hours since Anwen’s accident, a nurse came into the room and caught Henry fighting not to fall asleep. She softly tapped him on the shoulder.

“Mr Cavill, go and get some rest. You’re more than welcome to use the family room just next door. Freshen up, get an hour or so sleep. If anything changes, I promise I’ll come and notify you immediately.”

Henry considered this, torn between not wanting to leave Anwen’s side and the need to at least wash his face. 

“I’ll be half an hour, tops. Annie, I’ll be right back.” He put her hand down, and exited the room, rubbing his tired eyes as he went. 

He hadn’t been gone five minutes when a terrifying beeping screeched out from Anwen’s room. He ran out of the bathroom still with wet hands, his heart in his mouth. He halted in the doorway, petrified at the scene unfolding in front of him. 

A team of medics were working hard on her, the unrelenting beeping just adding to the frenzy of the situation. Anwen’s heart had stopped; someone fired up a defibrillator. The shock that went through her echoed in Henry. He just didn’t know what to do. He was vaguely aware of someone trying to lead him away but he just couldn’t move, couldn’t tear his eyes away, panic rising, threatening to overspill. His Annie, his Annie was there dying on that bed, and he couldn’t do anything but watch. And then suddenly, the most sinister sound yet. A flatline. Followed by a voice.

“We’ve lost her. Time of death, eight fifteen AM…”

Then silence.

The sound that tore its way up and out through Henry’s throat was that of a wounded animal. He screamed, the feeling pure agony.

“No! NO! There must be something you can do! My Annie! Annie…”

The doctor looked at him with sadness in his eyes. “I am so sorry, Henry. So sorry. Please, everyone, give him some space.”

The rest of his team followed him out; the nurse that had told Henry to go get some rest was crying silently. 

Henry stood rooted to the spot, in a state of absolute denial. Only a day before they’d been in their kitchen together, making plans to walk their beloved dogs, she was planning their wedding. Their wedding. Agony ripped through his chest, sobs wracked his body, his breathing erratic, his heart shattered, never to be healed again. Broken, like porcelain. 

          Henry didn’t know how he got through the funeral. He’d been to the funeral home, and dressed her in her favourite dress and shoes, and spent a long time brushing out her hair; he’d done that when she was alive, but the familiar act did nothing to ease his pain. When he got to the church, he walked down the aisle with her coffin on his shoulder, his heart heavy because he should have been watching her walk down the aisle in a white flowing dress towards him, he should be becoming her husband, not burying her. When it came to reading her eulogy, he was overcome with emotion, for the first time in his life not able to talk in public. His mother helped him down from the podium; his father continued the speech. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

At the wake, he got blind drunk. No one saw him for a week afterwards.

          The news of Anwen’s death was plastered all over the newspapers and online. Headlines such as “HENRY CAVILL FIANCE KILLED IN TRAGIC ACCIDENT” and “CELEBRITY CHEF ANWEN EVANS DEAD AT 27” accompanied photos of the both of them. The hole in Henry’s chest got bigger each time he saw it. He threw himself into his work; being someone else for at least 12 hours a day was easier than dealing with real life. Because the grief was all consuming, terrifying, never-ending. When he got home to his cold and empty penthouse, he couldn’t escape it; Kal and Ciri looked at him sadly every night, the question in their eyes: “where is our mummy?” Henry had no answers for them. He spent each evening sat in the dark, in silence. There was no laughter, no enjoyment in life since she’d gone. 

          A few weeks later, Simon came to visit. He’d been dropping in regularly, terribly worried about his friend. Henry looked, quite frankly, awful. His hair was long and the curls unkempt, he’d let his beard grow out and he had deep purple bags under his eyes. He’d lost a lot of weight too, although he hadn’t stopped working out. Simon sat down next to Henry on his sofa, nervously voicing the question he’d come round to ask.

“Henry, it’s the awards ceremony tonight. Will you be going?”

Henry looked at him like he’d gone mad. 

“Look,” Simon continued. “You’ve been nominated for Best Actor. It’s highly likely you’re going to win. Remember how she… how Anwen was really looking forward to going.” This was true. The red dress she’d been planning to wear was still hung up on the back of the bedroom door. “If you don’t want to go for yourself, why don’t you go for her?”

Henry thought it over. He hadn’t been out, apart from work and the gym, since before the accident. The thought of going to such a high-profile event caused panic. Yet… an image of Anwen, smiling before him in that red dress suddenly entered his mind. She had been so excited; she’d even helped him write his acceptance speech in case he did in fact win Best Actor. Go for her, Simon had said…

          And that’s how, just hours later, Henry found himself back on the red carpet, surrounded by flashing lights and crazed shouting as paparazzi tried to get his attention. He posed for a few photos before hurrying inside and taking his seat. He ate the extravagant three-course meal without really tasting it, drank the wine without really feeling it. Simon sat by his side, a welcome support; a truly great friend. Then, finally, it was time for the awards to be given. 

Henry clapped and cheered as each person won their nominated categories; showing his support for his fellow actors and actresses. Seeing them so happy actually lifted his spirits for the first time since… before. Then it was time for the winner of the Best Actor award.

“And the winner is… HENRY CAVILL!”

Henry sat in shock as the cameras and spotlights panned to him. Simon was on his feet, screaming “I knew he’d do it!” and then he was helping Henry up. “Go on mate, to the stage. You won, you bloody won!” 

In a daze, he walked towards the stage, then across it, accepting his award from the host. The applause was tumultuous; it took a few moments for it to die down, and then everyone in the audience was waiting expectantly for his speech. Henry drew a blank; he had no idea what to say.

“You can do it, handsome!” a heartbreakingly familiar voice whispered in his ear. He looked to the side and his breath hitched in his throat. Anwen was stood there, a wide grin all over her face, looking devastatingly beautiful in the red dress she’d planned to wear tonight. 

“I’m right here with you. I love you.”

Tears welled and spilled from Henry’s eyes as he turned back to face the audience. 

“This award,” he started. “is for my Anwen. My Annie. I couldn’t have been the actor who deserved it without her love and encouragement. She was my everything. She still is. I owe this, my entire career, my entire life to you, my angel. I miss you more than words can describe, and I love you even more.

As he left the stage to even louder applause and cheers and flashing lights, he looked up, seeing the love of his life again, smiling, tears sparkling on her cheeks, blowing him a kiss as she faded away.

“Goodbye my Annie,” he whispered. “Goodbye.”

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Field of Poppies Part 22

Summary: After being apart for six years, childhood friends Tommy and Amelia reunite under odd circumstances. Tommy is an outspoken young man and Amelia is pregnant and out on the streets. The bond of family can be unbreakable but it is tested often. Especially when Europe descends into war.

Part 22: Another Christmas without Tommy. Yet bright days are just around the corner. 

             “Did you know Alexander? He used to work down at the butcher’s shop before he was drafted.”

            Amelia was in the betting shop working alongside Rosie, Danny Owen’s wife. “I think so. Was he the one married to that Italian girl?”

            “Right, she passed some time ago from the flu.” Rosie nodded. “Well, he came back few months ago.” She reported. “They just locked him up in the asylum last week. Martha was telling me.”

            “The asylum?” Amelia looked up from her ledger in alarm. “Whatever for?” From the brief time she’d known the young man, he seemed like a decent person without anything seemingly off about him.

            “He went off his rocker. Had a gun and was threatening to shoot his own brother.” Rosie looked concerned. “They said he still thought he was in the war. They couldn’t convince him otherwise.”     

            “Jesus.” Then pen slipped from Amelia’s hand a bit. She couldn’t imagine what sort of horrors could change such a nice man. What could possibly cause someone to lose their mind completely? And would Tommy come back the same?

            After almost four years of waiting for him, she couldn’t imagine having to lock him up to protect others and himself. Because Alexander’s case wasn’t some anomaly. There were many stories drifting quietly around Birmingham of the men who came back. Once upstanding figures in the community came home different men. There were two men that Amelia knew had committed suicide. Their families were distraught. They had waited so long for them to return, were so happy they came home alive, and now they had to bury them.

            It made Amelia so anxious. Of course, she wanted Tommy home but what could she do if he was nothing like the man that had left her that day at the train station? How could she explain that to her children?

            “It’s a shame,” Rosie said quietly. Both the wives were thinking about their husbands. Hoping, that maybe by some sheer luck, their boys would be okay. But it seemed foolish to even hope.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

            It would be another Christmas without Tommy. It never got any easier, although Amelia tried to make do. Annie’s awareness of Tommy’s missing presence was becoming more of an issue. There were only so many times Amelia could explain why he was gone. The almost-four-year-old was unsatisfied with the answers. She didn’t understand war, didn’t understand why her father was gone, and especially struggled with why he couldn’t just come home.

            A week before Christmas, the Shelby household was in chaos. A loose thread on Annie’s teddy bear had caught on one of the kitchen cabinet handles. Instead of trying to unravel it from the metal, the young girl pulled and pulled until her darling stuffed animal had a loose arm hanging by a thread.

            Annie screamed and cried, inconsolable as she cradled her bear close.

            Amelia tried to calm her down, saying it wouldn’t be an issue to stitch the thing up again. But her daughter wasn’t listening. She wouldn’t even let go of the bear so Amelia could fix it.

            “Love, please, it’ll be okay!” Amelia begged for her daughter to calm down. “Mummy will fix it and he’ll be as good as new. I promise.”      

            “But daddy gave him to me!” She sobbed.

            “I know, but I can fix him.”

            “Daddy’ll know I hurt ‘im!” She wailed and thrashed about on the kitchen floor. “Daddy’ll hate me!”

            “Annie Shelby, what on Earth gave you that idea?” Amelia asked.

            “’Cause…’cause he will!” She didn’t seem to have any basis for how she felt. “That’s why he won’t come home!”

            “Now you listen to me.” Amelia gathered her up into her lap. “Your father loves you very much and if he could come home, he would in a heartbeat.”

            Annie began to calm down in her mother’s arms. She hiccuped and wiped her eyes and nose on her sleeve. “Teddy’ll be okay?” She asked.

            “Of course, I’ll patch up his arm and he’ll be looking nice for Christmas.” Amelia kissed her cheek. "Now go head upstairs. It's nearly bath time." 

~~~~~~~~~~

            As they always did, they got through the holidays and made it out alive in the new year. Amelia was struggling to write down the date sometimes.

            1918

            How could it only be two years away from the new decade? And more importantly, would she be welcoming 1920 still without Tommy. Max would be ten by the end of 1920. By then he would’ve spent more than half his life without his father. It made Amelia sick to her stomach to think about.

            She just didn’t realize good news was around the corner.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Annie and Max were running around the parlor while Amelia cleaned up after dinner. The two were sick of being cooped up inside because March had brought on endless rain.

            The phone started to ring and Amelia called out from the kitchen. “Quiet down, you two, mum needs to answer the phone!”

            It didn’t do much good. The kids were leaping off the sofa and creating a big ruckus.

            Still, Amelia picked up the receiver. “Shelby Residence.”

            “Mel?”

            For a moment, Amelia was convinced she was in a dream. There was no other explanation for why Tommy’s voice would be on the other end of the phone. Her knees went weak and she clutched onto the stair banister nearby. “Tommy?” She gasped. “Is that really you?”

            “Yeah, love. It’s me.”

            It felt like her heart was in her throat. There was so much she wanted to say to him and yet she couldn’t find the words. “I-I don’t understand.”

            “They’re sending us home. All of the 179."

            Tears began to stream down Amelia’s cheeks. This was the day she’d been waiting years for. Now that it was time, she couldn’t contain her happiness. “Really? Oh, Tommy…I-I don’t know what to say. I’m over the moon!”

            “I know, love. I can’t wait to finally be back home with you. I don’t have much time on the phone, are the kids there?”  

            “Yes, yes I’ll get them.” Amelia turned from the telephone. “Max, Annie! Guess who’s on the telephone!”

            The two rambunctious kids ran into the hallway to see what she was talking about. “Who?”

            “It’s daddy.” Amelia knelt down and held the receiver to them.

            “Dad?” Max was cautious, unsure if his mother was just pulling his leg or not. Although he figured it would be too cruel of a trick for his mother to play on him.

            “Hello, Max. Your sister there too?”

            “Daddy?” Annie piped up. She looked thrilled but nervous at the idea of speaking to the man she’d never met.

            “I’m coming home soon, you two,” Tommy announced happily. “Are you excited? I’m going to be coming home on the train next month.”

            “Really?” Max’s eyes widened in shock. “For good?”

            “For good,” Tommy promised. “You’ll be at the train station waiting for me, right?”

            “Yeah!” Max couldn’t hold back his grin.

            “Alright, well, I’ll be home very soon. I love you all very much.”

            “We love you, Tom,” Amelia said tearfully before the line went dead. She hung up the receiver, her hand trembling.

            “Aren’t you happy, mummy?” Annie asked.

            “Of course.”   

            “Then why’re you crying?”

            “I’m just so happy.” Amelia pulled her children in for a tight squeeze. “He’s finally coming home.”

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[ugly-anastasia]

Not Ready to Make Nice | Sinnie + Tonee

Annie takes Simba up on an invitation that he really didn’t offer her, and some other guests overhear...

@simba-bonfamille-lyons @inperfection-ashlee @foreverydinger

Date: 19 July 2021 TW: A brief (not graphic) mention of murder

ANNIE:

So... there had been a lot more behind that "Wow! Yum!" on Twitter. Honestly, Annie wasn't sure she was even supposed to be engaging with Simba. For, like, legal reasons or whatever. But she was kind of pissed at Mummy anyway for getting herself in enough trouble that she couldn't give Annie more financial help, and she also didn't really care about whatever shit had gone down between Mummy and Simba. Simba was popular and well-liked in town. Annie needed to be on his good side.

So she called the babysitter to look after the kids for an hour (their cuteness could be useful, but the risk factor of them completely trashing Simba's house was too high), stopped by the Moon Market and picked up a prepackaged steak and kidney pie, transferred it to a cute little ceramic dish, and drove over to the address she had managed to wrestle out of an old classmate. Easy.

"Hiya!" Annie said in a chipper, and very American, voice. "I was in the neighborhood and I just couldn't resist. That food on Twitter looked so yummy."

SIMBA

Simba had been cooking all day. Well, most of the day. He'd taken a trip this morning to the local mosque in NTO to deliver meat that he'd bought from the butcher's and to attend prayer with his mum. But, after that, it had been an all day cooking affair. It was holidays like these that he missed Nala most, but he was grateful for all the friends and family he did have.

He was looking forward to seeing everyone later. It was always nice how many people showed up to his Eid gatherings. The show of support from the community was always bolstering. Especially right now, with the Blackwells hanging over his head.

At first, Simba didn't recognize the voice. Or the face. (Was there something off about it? Or had it just been too long?) He had a smile on his face as he turned from chatting with Ashlee, reaching out to take the dish so that he could put it with the rest of the food, but then he recognized who it was and he stopped dead.

"What are you doing here Anastasia?"

TONY

Did Tony celebrate Eid? No. Did Tony like food, especially free food? Yes. Plus maybe he could get in Ashlee's good graces again if he just made himself available to her. It was hard seeing the lack of recognition there in her eyes but there was little he could do about it aside from just... replace it with new memories.

So he sat in Simba's house with a plate of food, on his way to make conversation with Ashlee and Simba, when he heard the voice ring out into the room.

It couldn't be...? Anastasia fucking Tremaine?! What was she doing her?!

"Uh-oh," he mumbled, glancing Ashlee's way.

ASHLEE

Ashlee both kind of hated the open invitation to the house and enjoyed it? She didn't like to seem like she enjoyed it. A lot of the time if people did come it was people she didn't know or didn't like and after socializing and eating for a bit she'd escape either to her room or out with the girls.

She was getting used to it more and more though.

At least until Simba froze in his tracks and the half smile she had on dropped as well. Bristling quickly. She didn't know who this person was but there was very few people that made Simba react like that. Infact she wasn't that sure if she had even since him not interact with a smile for someone that showed up.

And she didn't like being confused.

"Uh-oh what?" Ashlee questioned hearing the kid that walked up to them. What did he know that she didn't?

ANNIE

Great. She had an audience. One thing never changed about Swynlake: nobody could mind their own business. Ever.

But having an audience meant that everyone could see how goddamn gracefully she would handle this. Including the random-ass teenagers watching from the sidelines. Anastasia glanced at them uneasily before she put on her biggest, sweetest smile for Simba.

"Aww, you don't have to be so formal! I actually go by Annie now. Way easier to say." She winked. "But to answer your question, I had a bit of a disaster in my personal life, dunno if you've heard, and I thought I really ought to come back to my roots. Leave the big city, come back to this cute little town and reconnect with the people who made me who I am, you know? I'm so glad you threw this little party. I'd love to catch up."

Maybe those random kids could help her. "Hey there!" she said, waving. "Y'all know Simba?"

SIMBA

Simba's nostrils flared slightly and he had the horrible, irrational instinct to step in front of Ashlee and keep her away from "Annie."

It wasn't, necessarily, fair to Annie. After all, she hadn't even been in town. Already left for college by the time her mother helped cover up his father's death, but her proximity to Rodmilla Tremaine made him uneasy. He had trouble trusting lawyers these days, but he was pretty sure everything that he'd done with InterPride was wrapped up in a neat little bow.

His arrangement with Rodmilla was much less official. He would not be surprised if she'd sent her daughter to try and make amends. To soften him for her own return.

Honestly, he had no idea how much Annie even knew. That didn't make him feel any more hospitable.

"It's not a 'little party', it's Eid. A religious holiday and celebration," Simba bit out. "And this is Ashlee Tomassian, my--" Simba actually wasn't sure what to call her, considering everyone in town already knew her situation "--daughter. And her friend."

TONY

Eesh, the whole room was starting to feel tense. Tony remembered Annie from secondary and, if his memory served, she was not exactly the best companion to most of the school. It had made for some good stories but Tony wasn't sure those were the types of stories that belonged in Simba's adult home.

Now her little American lilt and smile was... unnerving. He glanced at Simba's face and then Ashlee's. Yeah, definitely not a good situation in front of them.

"She's actually a--" Tony stopped his explanation that she was a native to Swynlake both because she answered that herself and then when she turned her sights on the pair of teens.

Y'all know Simba?

Tony grimaced at the question. "Uh... Yeah.. He, uh, taught at the secondary school for a little bit and he's... um... Simba? How do you not--"

Just shut up, Tony.

ASHLEE

There were so many things Ashlee wanted to comment on.

A little party - she didn't celebrate Eid but she knew better than to call it a little party. Especially when she knew how important this was to Simba. That's after all why she was here and why she tried to learn about it.

The causality of 'y'all know Simba' Of course Ashlee knew Simba, she was insulted for a moment this woman didn't even know who she was.  How did anyone in this town not know Simba.

Her lackadaisical mannerism. For someone who put Simba on guard, that was what bothered her the most.

And not that Ashlee ever slouched but she stood taller, a cat ready to hiss. That familiar defensiveness that caused her to lash out, to fight (with words at least).

But just for a moment Ashlee's defenses fell glancing up at Simba's introduction of her. It wasn't a word they ever used but she wasn't mad at it. She softened just for a moment. But then it was back up again because who was she truly? To walk in like this.

"I don't think there's anyone in this house that doesn't know Simba." Ashlee agreed glancing at the guy trying to place his name. He was her friend as per Simba and she would keep face and go with it better to not disagree with the person you were fighting with.

ANNIE

Anastasia could sense the hostility. She wasn't oblivious. Even the more subtle callout coming from the kids. Well, fine, she thought. she would just have to kill them with kindness. After all, what did a couple of uni kids know about her?

Unless Simba talked about her. Jeez, could that be possible?

High road, Annie, she told herself.

"Riiiight, my b! Who doesn't know Simba?" she laughed, maybe a little too loudly. "Good to know you run this town just as much as ever. A regular Mr. Mayor, aren't you?" Anastasia looked around at the rest of the crew. "Allllrighty then, are we gonna hover in doorways like vampires at a cookout or should we get this party started?"

SIMBA

Simba had glanced at Ashlee, feeling weird because they'd never really discussed that and it was kind of a big thing and he didn't want her to think he was trying to replace or erase anyone in her life. It was just--he cared about her as more than a ward or a responsibility. It wasn't as easy as it was with Kiara, who was and always would be his cousin. Though their relationship was obviously more complicated that.

Yallah, this was not what he needed to be thinking about right now.

Instead, he watched this Tremaine try to take a step further into his house and he felt himself bristle.

"I think it's best if you left, Annie," Simba told her firmly, though he kept his voice low. He didn't want to make a scene, but he also did not want a Tremaine in his house. Simba had spent the last four years trying to learn forgiveness and finding it almost impossible. Not that he blamed Annie, but he had no idea what her motivations were and he would not take any risks.

TONY

Tony wondered if Anastasia had ever learned how to read a room because her current behavior pointed to no, not really.

Simba was clearly tense, a sight that wasn't common here in Swynlake, and Tony couldn't help the messy teen energy inside him that was a little intrigued by that.

What? No one ever said Tony was mature!

"Hey, Ashlee, isn't this holiday about community? I, uh, don't know if bringing bad energy in here is a good idea, do you?"

ASHLEE

Okay maybe this kid was okay, she really did need to figure out who the hell he was? Maybe in Nemo's grade? Maybe a new transfer? That was something to worry about later.

Smirking Ashlee grinned at him and then up at Annie "I wouldn't think so. I'm already feeling the mood drop in general. Instead of coming in it might be better to head out and get fresh air. Plus if *My Dad *doesn't think it's a good idea for you to stay I imagine a lot of people in here might think the same. Don't you?" She really wished she had his name at the moment that would be helpful.

Ashlee also probably didn't need to throw that title in there but it worked.  And Ashlee knew the power of words and there was nothing that this woman could say that would change her mind as long as Simba wanted her out of the house.

ANNIE

Anastasia looked from Simba to his two little minions and back to Simba. Well. She had at least expected him to be polite, maybe a little passive-aggressive. So the comments caught her off guard, and for a moment, Anastasia's jaw dropped.

But just as quickly, she put on that same sugary smile as ever.

"I'm not gonna lie, I'm mighty hurt. I guess I got a little too used to southern hospitality," she said, then giggled in that tinkling tone of hers. "Y'all enjoy the pie, alright?"

SIMBA

Simba, honestly, wished that Ashlee and her friend weren't here. If they weren't, he could've handled this a lot more firmly. Told Annie exactly why she wasn't welcome. Made it clear that if she approached his husband or Ashlee or any one else in his family, or went snooping around InterPride, he would make it his business that she left Swynlake as soon as possible.

Also, he didn't need kids sticking up for him and getting caught in the crossfire. He remembered how cruel and cutting all the Tremaines could be with their sharp tongues. Simba had underestimated them for petty once before. He wasn't going to do it again.

This also meant that her smile caught him off guard, some of his anger deflating. He hated when people messed around with people like this. It made him feel like he'd overreacted, or was making things up.

Also, he was pissed that he couldn't enjoy the fact someone had called him Dad and meant it. (Kiara used to do it, but mostly as a joke.)

His eyes stayed hard. "I'm sorry you feel that way," he said, his voice betraying that he didn't feel that sorry at all. "Ashlee, go put the pie on the table, please. I'll escort Annie out."

TONY

Tony couldn't stop his own grin from spreading at Ashlee's quick and sharp tongue coming out. It felt like forever since something like this had happened.

This wasn't to take away from the clearly strong familial moment that was happening with the pressure of this situation but Tony felt like it was probably better not to focus on that given... not his circus not his monkeys, you know?

"Someone was real quick to forget how Swynlake works," Tony chuckled at Annie's confession of feeling slighted. "I can help you with that, Ashlee."

ASHLEE

Poor thing. Not.

"Someone was real quick to forget they are not entitled to someone's forgiveness or hospitality." Ashlee agreed daring Annie to say something about it for just the second Ashlee had left in this conversation while she took the dish from Simba. If only they could just toss the food but that wasn't what Eid was about. So fine she would put it on the table.  "Bye bye Annie."

Nodding her head for the guy to follow with her.

With just enough distance. "Sorry what's your name again?

ANNIE

This was going to be a lot harder than Anastasia had thought. Maybe she had jumped in too quickly. Maybe she should have started out small, rather than chasing down the lion's den (heh) from the start. Anastasia didn't get it. Should she not have made the vampire joke? These Gen Z kids were so particular about that stuff nowadays...

Or maybe it was just that they trusted Simba.

She waited for the kids to leave before narrowing her eyes at Simba. "Simba Lyons, I have been nothing but pleasant and kind to you," she said simply. She wasn't going to beg for him to let him stay. Anastasia had a little bit of pride left. But she felt the need to point that out. "I'll be going soon, I promise, but we really can't let bygones be bygones?"

TONY

Tony snickered as he stood from his seat. Honestly, he'd missed being a petty teen sometimes. Stretching his Mean Kid Energy for just this moment felt refreshing.

When was the last time he'd gotten in a fight? Had it been Phineas? Damn, that had been awhile.

"Later, Annie!" He called over his shoulder as he fell into step behind Ashlee. His heart gave a pang at the question despite knowing it was coming.

"Tony, Tony Rydinger. I'm an upper sixth form."

ASHLEE

That made sense and why Ashlee didn't really recognize him. She wouldn't if she was about two years ahead of him.

"Ashlee Tommassian. Though it sounds like you already knew that. Thanks for jumping in and helping there. I don't really know the story but if she pissed off Simba, she deserves whatever she's getting." Ashlee mused setting the dish on the table among the many many other dishes. "Did you want to grab something or maybe try to listen in some more?"

SIMBA

"It's Bonfamille-Lyons now," Simba corrected her swiftly.

He kept his body blocking her from being able to walk off the dias. Simba didn't often use his larger frame to intimidate. He knew that he was tall and broad and that he could easily look threatening to others. (Not to mention how some people might just assume it based on the color of his skin.) He always walked tall and proud, but his movements were always loose and easy.

They weren't now. He was drawn up to his full height, shoulders straight and lowered. His arms were crossed over his chest.

"And no, we can't. I would prefer if we just stayed out of each other's way, if you are planning on being in town for an extended period of time. And stay away from Ashlee and my husband. And especially my mother. She doesn't need any reminders about what your mother did." He kept his voice low, away from prying ears.

He didn't do this for Anastasia either, but because he didn't want everything that had happened dragged back up. His failures, how blind he had been, how easily manipulated.

TONY

"Right, uh, you're friends with Nemo and Ian. Ian's my roommate." He explained swiftly. It was the easiest way to wave away the odd fact he knew about her. He had connections.

"It's nice to actually meet you, though. They both have a lot of nice things to say about you." He glanced at the food on the table then shook his head. "I mean, I definitely wanna find out what Simba and Annie are doing out there. She's gonna be a menace I'm sure!"

ASHLEE

Ashlee nodded at the names, for a moment she actually felt bad she didn't know him or even of him, after all if he knew Nemo and Ian, the latter enough to live with him. Then again Ian was friends with Eilonwy and Ashlee was still struggling on her insistence of being friends. It made her bristle feeling like Eilonwy wanted something more. That her kindness was fake.

At least Tony had a little mean streak in him.

"They better or they would get an earful from me for spreading lies." Ashlee grinned. "If we want to be sneaky it's best to head around the back and just listen from the side of the house."

ANNIE

Anastasia couldn't keep this up much longer. It was so much easier to fight with people online like this, where they couldn't see your face, or to fight with the other moms at playgroup back in Nashville. At least everyone had the sense to pretend like they were being nice while, underneath, they wanted to rip you apart.

But there was only so much of Simba's direct approach that Anastasia could take.

Her voice dropped a few octaves, and her old accent crept in slightly as the facade dropped. "You leave my mother out of this. You and your little company already succeeded in ruining her life, so you don't need to go ruining mine, too by turning this town against me." Anastasia stuck her chin in the air stubbornly, her expression shifting to an ugly scowl. "Fine, though, I'll stay out of your way. But I would appreciate if you would have the decency not to humiliate me in front of the children. Seeing as I'm not going anywhere. I live here now, and I'm going to get my life back. You're not getting in the way of that.”

TONY

Tony nodded, glad to follow Ashlee's lead. It was nice not to be the one in charge of a situation. He'd been befriending way too many introverts as of late. Spending time with Ashlee and her friends was a whole different experience to what he was dealing with here.

"Oh Ian's anything but untruthful," Tony chuckled. "Perfect. You show me the way and I'll keep quiet. I feel like this town is so boring sometimes for drama."

ASHLEE

It had been a long time since Ashlee had snuck around. Unlike her old home Simba and Berlioz gave her the freedom she needed as long as she was vocal with them and she was, never feeling the need to not be. Anything she asked or brought up they listened. Even if it was far inbetween. And she was still nervous to do so.

"You're not making the right type of friends if you're looking for drama. Secondary has probably gotten much duller as of late."

But that didn't mean she wasn't good at it. Quick and light on her feet and everyone was busy talking to really pay attention to two kids slipping out the back.

TONY

"You're telling me!" Tony sighed wistfully. "Honestly might need to stir some shit myself if I want to stay awake in school this year," Tony complained.

This was something he couldn't really complain to Ian about because his more soft-around-the-edges friend was not the type to understand this feeling.

He leaned close to the wall as they both headed to where they could snoop on the feuding adults in peace. He winked over at Ashlee conspiratorially.

SIMBA

Ah, there it was.

Simba didn't feel even a little bad, In fact, he was relieved that she was showing her true colors. It made all this so much easier for the both of them.

"I won't get in the way of it as long as I don't have any reason to," Simba told her. After all, he could recognize that Annie might have had nothing to do with everything. She had been young when Mufasa had died. Hardly even an adult. And it wasn't like Rodmilla to involve her precious daughters in her criminal dealings.

"But let me make one thing extremely clear: your mother ruined her own life when she knowingly covered up a murder, so don't blame me for her moral failure."

ASHLEE

Ashlee settled herself against the corner of the house, she didn't need to turn around to know Simba's voice though for a moment she did think she needed to double check he was the one talking.

She knowingly covered up a murder? Ashlee mouthed to Tony. What the fuck had actually happened, who covered up what and were they in jail was the important piece.

TONY

Tony's eyes widened at the words. Honestly he had some... guesses... but also this was Swynlake and shit happened all the time so trying to guess who was murdered seemed like rushing to conclusions.

He shrugged at Ashlee, just as confused and concerned about what could be happening.

ANNIE

Jeez. Well. If Simba was going to just put it out there like that, Anastasia wasn’t going to hold back either.

She didn’t like the word “murder.” It was so dramatic.

“She did what she had to do,” Anastasia said vaguely, because she wasn’t sure if people might overhear and wouldn’t that be the final disappointment, for Anastasia to land Mummy in jail. How fitting. And... Anastasia didn’t really know the details anyway. But corruption and scandal was part of the Tremaine family history, like any other core value. “You don’t know what it’s like to be her. Or me, for that matter. Life isn’t all sunshine and roses, and sometimes when an opportunity presents itself, you gotta take it. And I’m sorry people got hurt, but that’s... life.”

Not exactly the idealistic, cheery image Anastasia put forth online. But cynicism didn’t rake in the money or influence the way her optimistic go-getter attitude did.

ASHLEE

Ashlee actually felt like she was going to be sick. To speak so casually of murder, to chalk it up to that's life it reminded her too much of her own Dad. Who cared about who was hurt if it meant the end result was what you wanted.

And maybe that was hypocritical of her considering her own past and her part in what she had done with the girls but this was just frightening. But there was a difference, Ashlee at least liked to think there was a difference, she wasn't as bad at this woman. (Who sounded different? Was that in her head?)

SIMBA

Simba's hand clenched into a fist by his side. He felt his anger spike--a wild thing inside of him, so loud it was almost frightening. It made him want to reach for a drink. Thankfully, there wasn't any inside and he couldn't disappear from his own party.

Besides, he wasn't going to break his sobriety streak for a Tremaine.

Nor was he about to get in a physical altercation on his door step. Though, he wanted to. No doubt.

How could she--

That's life? People got hurt? His father had been murdered. Taken away from him and he had blamed himself for years because of Annie's mother. She had ruined his life just as much as Taka had.

"Get off my property," he snapped at her, his voice rising up enough that he was sure people through the open door behind them could hear it. He refused to shout, but it wasn't far off.

He had plenty of more choice words for Anastasia Tremaine, but it was a holy day and he had a family and friends and community to celebrate. Even if this conversation had put him in a black mood and he just wanted to go upstairs and lock himself in his room.

TONY

Tony felt anger flare in his own chest at Anastasia's words. He couldn't imagine anyone saying that that was just life. Excusing literal murder! He thought back on anything he knew of Anastasia or her family. In truth he had paid little attention to the girl in secondary and now he was seriously regretting it if he was missing this information.

This can't be happening, right? He mouthed to Ashlee. Tony couldn't help but feel a little frightened. If they were dealing with someone that unhinged was it wise to leave Simba alone with her? Was it wise to be eavesdropping on her?!

ANNIE

Anastasia knew Simba hated her family’s guts. But she only knew it in a vague sense. All the shit with Taka had gone down while she was back in Nashville, and it had only affected Anastasia in the sense that now Mummy couldn’t take the whole family on vacations to Nice and Aruba and Switzerland anymore because of her stupid new nonprofit job. The way Anastasia saw it, the details didn’t really matter, but the reality was that Simba had taken something from her that she believed she was entitled to.

But Anastasia wasn’t good in confrontations the way Drizella was. Anastasia’s style of fighting was subtler, quieter. If Drizella were here, maybe she would have a cutting line or a scary threat. All Anastasia had was her practiced ability to shut down her feelings.

She took a step back and stared at Simba, nodded, and then smiled. “Enjoy the party,” she said, the twang returning to her voice. “I’ll see y’all around.”

And with that, Anastasia turned on her heel and returned to her car, hoping Simba didn’t notice the slight tremble in her gait.

ASHLEE

Ashlee wished she didn't know, she wished she could have gone on believing this was some stupid petty drama, it was as simple as a 'my fam doesn't like this person so i don't like this person'. But this ran so much deeper than she could have thought.

Shaking her head Ashlee struggled to form words. I don't know but we should go. it was just go where? Simba would come in soon, Where was Berlioz, hopefully he could help Simba cause that was heavy and Ashlee was not the one with the ability to help. They could escape to her room? Yeah that was probably best. Grabbing Tony's hand she pulled him back toward the back door and swiveled up the stairs quickly. "What the hell was that????"

TONY

Oh his head was reeling at this whole experience. He blinked when Ashlee grabbed him but allowed the tug to lead him inside once again. He hadn't been to her room in Simba's before so it was somewhat of a jarring moment of him realizing this was a big deal.

"I don't know! I knew she was from Swynlake and her family had some beef with people but not that!" He admitted. "She was known as kind of a bitch but not a murder-excusing bitch!"

ASHLEE

Ashlee didn't even know what to say, she really wished they hadn't done that. It kind of gave her the creeps and it was way too close of a comparison to her Baba for her.

"We can't say anything. We don't know what the hell any of that meant or how it effects Simba." Tony better not open his mouth and spill unless they knew more.

TONY

Tony took a deep breath to try to steady himself. When he had said this year was going to be boring he hadn't considered finding out about literal murder. And now Ashlee was expecting him to keep this between them?!

"Jesus, yeah, I get it. What are we gonna do, though? Are we just, what, waiting to find out what's going on?" He shook his head. "You okay?"

ASHLEE

"Nothing, Whatever that was is old and dark and does not need to be touched by us." Maybe not even that old considering she was maybe Simba's age. But she knew they knew too much. Maybe she would find out from Simba at some point, or maybe not but she wasn't letting Tony in much. What she knew was that Simba was good and she trusted his judgement on whatever the hell that was. 

TONY

Tony frowned at Ashlee's words. It seemed like the sort of response that was, well, responsible and adult... and Tony, despite all of his efforts, wasn't really either of those things. He wanted to investigate, wanted to do something to get to the bottom of.

"I... guess so... I mean.. I s'ppose we're still... young." Don't think about how long you've been on Earth, Tony. "Jesus.."

ASHLEE

"It's not about being young, it's about getting involved in whoever covered a murder. I'm a performance major, you're a secondary kid. We're not equipped to handle that. And I already went through one shit storm involving the courts. I sure as hell don't want another. Not to mention Heresay, the fact we don't have the whole story and its not like we can just walk up and ask someone." Maybe she could, but she didn't think she had a right. "It's not like I believe Simba is part of a massive cover up." (Hopefully) "So it might already be dealt with, you know." 

TONY

Tony didn't like the response, didn't like the way he knew Ashlee was right. He took another steadying breath because, really, she was entirely correct. They were kids despite... every complicating part of Tony's life and curse.

"Yeah, right, of-of course.. Yeah, um, Simba's resourceful and-and powerful... If he had any way of settling this he would. We just gotta... trust the adults." Sure, that wasn't Tony's strong suit but he could try. "Are you okay, though? Like, is there.. anything I can... do for you?"

ASHLEE

Ashlee really hoped it was as simple as it was already taken care of. She really really did. Flopping down on her bed Ashlee sighed covering her eyes. No more spying for her. It wasn't worth it, if this was the outcome. Especially considering she didn't know if she could hid it on her face when she eventually faced Simba.

"It's fine I'm fine. we should just wait a few and head back down. Worse comes to worse they think we're making out or something up here." Which no but it was the lessor of a few evils right now.

TONY

"Gotcha..."

Tony sat down on the floor beside the bed so he wouldn't crowd her. This was ridiculous. Swynlake constantly churned out so much drama! He supposed he shouldn't be freaked out but it was.. jarring.. to see people he'd gone to school with involved in such heinous things.

"Well I would hope Simba has more faith in you than that," Tony laughed softly, a little forced. "But I can see where the concern comes."

ASHLEE

"Probably if only cause I've had a few dates with Michael since prom." And Ashlee was not the cheating kind or even had enough people she was interested in anyway.

Ashlee sighed looking up at her ceiling. Did she ask Simba or not was the question now.

[janeyseymour]

Let Me Help You

Hello! Here we are with yet another piece of writing! 

Jane Seymour was always the first one to help her fellow queens. She didn't mind it one bit because, in a way, they were helping her by letting her help them.

Can also be found here! 

Jane Seymour often helped the other queens. For Catherine of Aragon, it was subtle. She was slowly breaking down the walls that the first queen had built up around herself. For Anne Boleyn, it ranged from holding her through nightmares to simply patching up a skinned knee. Anna of Cleves was hard to help, ever the independent woman, but Jane Seymour knew that if it ever came to it, she would be there in a heartbeat to help out the German woman. Katherine Howard was most certainly the queen she helped the most, stepping in as a maternal figure to the youngest queen. Catherine Parr was one that just needed a push in the right direction when it came to taking care of herself. And Jane? Jane didn’t mind any of this one bit.

-

I.

Catherine of Aragon never liked to put her emotions onto anybody else. Instead, she held everything in for as long as possible before unexpectedly exploding at the smallest of things. Unfortunately for Jane, Catherine was about to unleash her wrath.

“Oh my- Jane, can you just relax for like five minutes? Kat went out with Anne and Anna! She’s going to be fine, and she’s going to do the dishes when she gets back!”

“But I told her they had to be done before they went anywhere! And forgive me for worrying about my daughter while she’s out with the two who are most likely to get her into a sticky situation,” Jane shot back.

“Okay first of all, you need to give Anne and Anna more credit and-”

“That’s rich coming from you, Miss “Anne is the most irresponsible person I’ve ever met, and I wouldn’t trust her as far as I can throw her.”

“You know what Jane?” Catherine’s voice got scarily low.

“What Aragon?”

“Stop mothering everybody, especially Kat! Newsflash, she’s not your daughter! You just feel like you need to step up because you couldn’t even be a mother in your last life! You died before you could!” she shouted.

Before Aragon could speak another word, Jane had wrapped the woman in a hug. This was the last reaction that the first queen could’ve ever expected from the third queen.

“Lina,” Jane sighed. “What’s got you down?”

“Jane! What the- I just said something so terrible, and your first instinct is to hug me and ask me what’s wrong? Are you insane?”

“Thank you,” Jane whispered as she continued to hold Catalina.

“What the- why are you thanking me?” Catherine was beyond confused. “You should be yelling at me, screaming at me like I deserve!”

“You trusted me enough to break that stoic persona you have. You lost your cool. You needed to do it, and I’m just glad you didn’t lose it on Boleyn.” She let out an uncomfortable laugh.

“Jane, what are you talking about?”

“Even in the show, you say something about having to “keep your cool”. You only carry that over into real life. I’m just happy you finally trusted me enough to let down your guard.”

At those words, Catherine of Aragon broke. Jane Seymour wasn’t wrong in what she had said, and the golden queen had been so blinded by trying to keep up some sort of characterization that had been fabricated for her.

The blonde was shocked at what was happening before her, a small pang in her chest surging through her. She had broken the first queen. The Catherine of Aragon was openly crying in front of her.

“I’m sorry,” Jane sighed as she pulled the crying queen close to her.

“No, you were right. I don’t ever break. Thank you for being here,” the first queen gripped the third queen’s shirt as if her life depended on it.

“Of course love. Don’t think for a second I won’t ever be here for you.” Jane placed a gentle kiss on the woman’s hairline. The golden queen didn’t cry for much longer, but the silver queen held her through it all.

“Are you feeling better love?” she asked gingerly as she felt the upset queen’s breathing regulate once again. She felt a nod. “That’s good. How about we go sit down and watch some television to relax?” She felt another nod.

Normally when the two women watched television together, Jane found herself on one end of the sofa while Catherine settled on the other, but today the two found themselves sitting beside one another.

It was an unusual sight for the other queens to walk into: the strong Catherine of Aragon tucked into the motherly Jane Seymour’s side fast asleep.

“Mum? Wha-” Kat started

“Please go do the dishes I asked you to do,” Jane paused as Catherine moved in her sleep. When the golden queen situated herself the blonde continued pointedly, “ before you left the house today.”

II.

Anne Boleyn had a tendency to get hurt quite a bit. After she had purchased her heelys, the occasions where she wasn’t covered in bandages were few and far between.

“Janey!” Anne’s shrill voice called out. “Jane!” She called again when Jane didn’t come running to her rescue.

“Yes love?”

“Remember when you told me if I got hurt again and had blood dripping down my legs again, if I got blood on your white carpet again, you would take away my heelys?”

“Jesus Annie,” Jane sighed loudly. “Stay outside, I’ll grab the first aid kit and be out in a moment.” Jane set down her embroidery and pushed her glasses up before setting off to find the first aid kit.

“Jane! It’s kinda getting all over the front step!”

“Better than my white carpet,” Jane huffed as she brought the first aid kit out. “It took me weeks of scrubbing to get that stain out.”

“I said I was sorry!”

“You said, and I quote, ‘Sorry not sorry... I’m just tryna have some fun,’ and then you laughed.”

“But I apologized after!”

“After I took away your wheels for a week,” Jane rebutted. “Now, please give me your leg so I can clean this mess up.” Jane opened the kit to find various snacks in place of the many bandages she had stocked up on for occasions like this.

“Anne Boleyn, where is all of my medical equipment?” Jane spoke lowly, slowly becoming more and more frustrated.

“Well uh,” Anne laughed awkwardly. “Funny story about that: I thought that if I got hurt again, and clearly I was not planning on it-”

“Mistake number one.”

“I thought I would probably want a snack instead of a bandage. I guess I was wrong.”

“For the love of-” Jane stood up. “Just tell me where the darn bandages are.”

“My bedroom, in the top right drawer of my desk.”

“You are so lucky I love you,” Jane muttered as she walked back into the house. Moments later, she came back with a wet paper towel and bandages to see Anne had dove into the cheetos that were placed in the medical kit.

“Turns out, past me was right. These cheetos are really hitting different.” As Anne continued to munch on the snack, Jane began to clean up the mess. Once, the green queen offered the blonde a cheeto but was told “Anne, you know I do not put such snacks into my body, and I’m still not quite sure you do either given how bad they are for you.”

“But they’re so good!” Anne whined.

After a few minutes, the third queen had finished cleaning up Anne’s leg and grinned.

“Wheels please.” She outstretched her hand.

“But Jane-”

“I don’t want to hear it. Wheels. Now.” The second queen slowly began to take out the wheels of her shoes and placed them in the silver queen’s hand. “You’ll get these back in a week.”

Anne groaned. “But now I have to walk . Where’s the fun in that?”

“At least you won’t be getting as hurt this next week. Please be more careful in the future.” Jane threw a pointed look at the girl before dropping her facade and placing a kiss on the other queen’s head.

It was a good thing Jane had taken away Anne’s wheels, because had she not, Anne would’ve broken her arm the very next day.

III.

Anna of Cleves almost always refused help.

“Seymour, I’ve got it handled, seriously. It’s fine,” she would say.

Jane would protest, “But Anna, you don’t have to go through this alone!” And most days, the blonde was met with “but it’s really fine. I know how to handle myself.” But there were some days where Anna couldn’t just brush the issue under the rug and go about her day.

Jane’s cell phone rang, and as usual, she answered with, “Hello, this is Jane!”

“Seymour, I know it’s you. That’s why I called your number,” Anna deadpanned.

“Oh Cleves! Where are you?” She then looked down at the number she was calling from. “This isn’t your number!”

“I-” she was interrupted.

“Miss, you have one more minute before I’m going to have to ask you to step away from the phone,” a voice could be heard saying.

“Who is that?” Jane’s heart began to flutter. Where was that girl?

“Doesn’t matter. Listen, I’ll get straight to the point: Anne and I-”

“Hey don’t forget about me!” Katherine’s voice could be clearly heard.

“You have my daughter?”

“Uhm, Anne, your daughter, and myself may be in a bit of a sticky situation.”

“Anna of Cleves,” Jane began, only to be interrupted by Anne.

“Ooh, she used your full name! You’re in trouble!”

“Anne Boleyn!” Jane’s voice was much sharper this time.

“Ooh! Someone’s in trouble!” Anne’s voice rang through. “Oh god, it’s me. I don’t know why I did that.”

“Just tell me where you are,” the blonde was about to blow.

“The police station on main and third. Please come bail us out.” The line went dead. Anna of Cleves had hung up on her, mostly in fear of what Jane would say next.

Nearly fifteen minutes later, the three were greeted with a not-so-thrilled looking Jane.

“I’ve posted bail. Let’s get going. We’ll talk about this in the car.” Jane began to hurry to the car, the other three not far behind her.

“Can somebody please explain to me why I’m picking the three of you up from the police station at 9 pm on a Monday?” Jane’s tone indicated she wasn’t playing around.

“Mum, it’s honestly not our fault,” Katherine tried.

“Not the time Kat.” The pink haired queen shrunk in her seat.

“Seymour, I was protecting your daughter from a creep. The man in the cell next to us? He tried to make advances at Katherine. I tried to push him away, and we kind of got into a bar fight. The cops were called. I didn’t have my wallet on me like I usually do because we just opened a tab, so I couldn’t post bail. I’m sorry.” Jane’s face softened at the admission.

“Is this true?” She directed the question at the other two queens in the car. Both nodded. “Well then, none of you are in trouble. Thank you Anna.”

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat for your daughter, you ol’ mum,” the red queen chuckled lightly.

“And I’d bail you out again in a heartbeat ol’ Cleves.” Jane gently ruffed the woman’s hair.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t just bail us out myself.”

Later that night, the third queen made her way to the fourth queen’s room.

“Thank you for keeping my daughter safe. Seriously,” Jane smiled softly as she handed the German some chocolate.

“I’d do anything for you queens,” Anna happily accepted the chocolate.

“And we would do anything for you too, you know.”

If only Jane had known Anna had been craving chocolate all night.

IV.

Katherine Howard relied on Jane Seymour quite frequently, not that you would ever hear the older queen complaining. It made her quite happy to be able to put her maternal energy into something instead of having to bottle it up, and the pink queen didn’t seem to mind being coddled. Yes, she relied mostly on Jane to comfort her from her fears and nightmares. Yes, Jane almost always was the one cooking meals when they weren’t eating out. Yes, Jane was even the one who mostly accompanied on the very few outings the fifth queen wanted to make. But Jane was useful for other things too.

What most people wouldn’t pick up on about the blonde is that she was quite good at styling hair. Most wouldn’t know this due to the fact that the third queen’s hair was often worn down, or at the very most in a plain bun.

Katherine quite often liked to change her hairstyle. Some days it was down, some it was up in a simple ponytail, and other days one could find her with some sort of intricate hairstyle that Jane had done.

“Your hair looks so pretty today!” A stranger in their local store would say.

“Thank you,” she would blush. “My mum did it.”

Today, Katherine had taken it upon herself to try to style her own hair in two dutch braids. Unfortunately for the fifth queen, her locks had decided to work against her today, and she instead only succeeded in tangling her hair. After trying to brush it out for fifteen straight minutes, she gave up and walked into the living room.

She watched Jane for a few seconds before the mother figure pushed her glasses up on her face as she read her book.

“Mum?” She whispered from the entrance.

“Oh hello Kitty!” She took in the girl’s appearance. “Having a bit of a struggle with your hair today?” She said, although not in a harmful way; it was soft, almost sympathetic.

“Yeah,” the pink haired queen played with her fingers. “Do you think you could-”

“Of course.” The blonde haired queen stood from the chair and led her daughter back to her room.

“How do you want your hair today?” Jane asked as she began to brush out the younger queen’s tangles.

“Just two plaits please,” she asked shyly.

“That seems a bit too simple for you to not be able to do yourself,” the blonde chuckled. “What do you really want?”

“Two dutch braids. I just couldn’t quite get all of the hair to stay in neatly,” she admitted.

“That’s quite alright. That’s what your ol’ mum is here for, isn’t it?”

“You’re here for so much more, and you know that.”

“T’was just a joke, dear daughter of mine.”

As Jane worked, Katherine couldn’t help but become fascinated with the way her mother so effortlessly twisted her hair. With a few more twists, the girl was presented with two clean braids, much nicer looking than the ones she had attempted earlier.

“There you are love.” Jane smiled softly.

“Thank you.” Katherine turned to face the blonde and pecked her cheek.

“Only the best for my daughter.” Jane gently tucked a stray piece of hair behind the girl’s ear.

“Thank you.” Katherine grinned from ear to ear.

Jane knew that Katherine liked being referred to as her daughter, but she didn’t quite know how far that one simple title went for the younger queen.

V.

Cathy Parr was quite the independent woman; her past life only proved this. Her song in the show only proved this. That didn’t mean that every once in a while she leaned on the mother of the group though.

“Jane?” Cathy called from her room.

“Yes dear?” Jane appeared with a skillet in hand.

“I need help.” Jane stayed quiet, silently urging the woman to continue. “I can’t find the right words to convey what I’m trying to say.”

“Well, how long have you been working on this piece?”

“Far too long,” Cathy sighed. “It’s been like three hours, and I just can’t come up with the right words.” She handed over the laptop and allowed her fellow queen to skim over what she had written.

“Well, it seems to me Catherine, that the point you are trying to make is quite simple, but it can get a little confusing with all of the bigger words you use. You know, it’s okay to not use such big words. It’s okay to keep things simple sometimes.” The blonde handed back the laptop.

“I-” Cathy read over what she had written, seeing that what Jane had spoken was true.

“You’re right. Maybe I should try to say things more simply.”

“When are you going to realize that “Mama Jane” is almost always right?” the silver queen laughed. “Mama Jane also knows that you haven't had anything to eat today, so come eat some lunch with me, will you?”

“But I have to finish this Jane,” Cathy grumbled.

“You won't be able to finish it if you haven't got any brain food, now will you? Come on, it’ll be quick. I won’t keep you for too long.” Jane exited out of Parr’s room. Cathy groaned but rose from her desk to follow the blonde.

“What’s for lunch?” she questioned as she watched the silver queen busy herself.

“I was thinking of a stir fry. Any requests?”

“Lots of vegetables please,” Cathy responded. “So, what have you been up to today?” She tried her hand at holding a conversation.

Jane was a bit taken back. Parr wasn’t one to casually strike up this sort of conversation. These conversations were normally reserved for Aragon and Katherine. Still, she was delighted to answer.

“Oh you know, same old, same old. I spiffed up around the house, watered my flowers, and settled in to read a bit. I took to reading some of your writing. It’s quite good.” Cathy blushed at the compliment. “I’m assuming you’ve just been trying to write since you woke up this morning?”

“I, uh- thanks. And, yeah, but it wasn’t really going anywhere. Thank you for making lunch by the way.” Jane nodded as if to say you’re welcome.

A few moments later the two were happily diving into their lunches in silence, save for the few crunches that could be heard from the vegetables being devoured.

“This is delicious,” Cathy complimented.

“Thank you!”

“You should like, open up a restaurant or something. Everything you make is just- to die for!” It was Jane’s turn to blush.

“Thank you love. Maybe in another life,” she laughed weakly. The two continued their lunch when Parr was struck with an idea.

“Oh my gosh,” she mumbled to no one in particular.

“What is it, love?”

“I know exactly how to word what I’ve been trying to say!” The writer stood up abruptly and began to clumsily make her way to her room. “Thank you for lunch Jane!”

“I told you you needed brain food!” Jane shouted in good nature.

-

Jane Seymour had adapted to being the mother figure in the house, and she didn’t mind this one bit. In fact, helping the other queens helped her. They might not know it, but in helping them, they were helping her.

[six-is-awesome]

trapeze artist Six the musical AU

hehe this is my first fanfiction that I’ve published so feedback would be amazing! Kitty would excel at trapeze and you can pry that headcannon from my cold dead hands. A huge thank you to @the10amongstthese3s who read a section of this fic and was just so nice and encouraging in general! 

Jane is one of the circuses ‘mums’ and much to Katherines ‘annoyance’, she seems to have claimed her as one of her adopted kids. Katherine isn’t the only one though, Annie hasn’t escaped Janes unexplainable need to mother others. Jane, despite only being two years older than Katherine, has an undeniable paternal aura that seems to follow her wherever she goes. On most days Katherine puts up with Janes constant reminders to drink water and to warm up correctly but today Katherines head was already pounding, whether it was the lack of breakfast or the nauseating red and yellow of the circus tent, she doesn’t know.  

Jane must notice though, she offers to walk Katherine home after practise. Great. Just great. When they arrive at Katherines small apartment complex, she invites Jane in for dinner and a cup of tea ‘do I even have tea bags? Or sugar? Or milk??’ Katherine thought as she led Jane into what should be the living room (it currently looked more like cramped, crowded, overused yet unlived in shed) and vaguely gestured for Jane to sit down somewhere. Katherine could feel herself slipping into the past as she sat next to Jane, she has to get up, she has to get up NOW. “I’m going to go and start the dinner” Katherine jumped up from the couch and makes her way to the kitchen, she knows that Jane replies but Janes words fall upon deaf ears as Katherine is no longer standing in her small hallway, no, she’s back in her old bedroom, at her fathers house...

————————————sometime later————————————————

Jane jumped when she heard the crash coming from what she could only assume was the kitchen ‘Katherine is an adult; she can take care of herself’, A second crash from the kitchen proved Jane wrong as she jumped up out of her seat at the round table and slowly but surely made her way through the unfamiliar house. "Katherine, you ok love?” the twenty-four-year-old asked when she reached the door to the kitchen. When she didn’t receive an answer, Jane looked at the closed door for a second before hesitantly giving the it a slight nudge. As the door opened, Jane gasped. no. Katherine was not alright.  

Katherine flinched when she heard Jane gasp, but she didn’t move her gaze from the floor, the older woman was already worried about her and now Katherine has just proved that she can’t even make a simple stir-fry without dropping the dinner plates. Great. Just great. Katherines eyes begin to water as she blindly reached out behind her, trying to find something to grab on to, something to ground her. 'no’ she thinks ‘you will not cry over this Katherine; you are going to look at her and tell her that you just dropped the plates and that you’re ok’ Katherine lifted her head up to look at Jane but as she opened her mouth to explain what had happened, the words that she desperately wanted to say didn’t fall from her lips, a strangled sob escaped instead, then, Katherine broke down.

Katherine sank to her knees, fully expecting to become one with her kitchen floor but, much to her surprise, she feels a pair of warm arms wrap around her and it feels...nice? Is this what comfort should feel like? When her parents hugged Katherine as a child, it had always felt rushed. As if she was the box in a Childs’ game of pass the parcel, everyone eager to hold onto her for the shortest time possible and when they held her for too long, they peeled back one of the many layers that Katherine had wrapped herself up in, then, they simply passed her onto the next person. That cycle continued until there was nothing left to unwrap, the party was over, and all that Katherine was left with was the torn pieces of paper she had to reassemble, and Katherine was tired of getting paper cuts.

[thewritepages]

The Diary of the Older Collegiate (#TheFreshman Series) (2)

Synopsis : Annabelle Green is somewhat in a situation no thirty year woman would want to find herself in : (Un) Happily divorced, childless and with a job worth peanuts and migraine. The downward spiral of her life doesn't seem to end anytime soon until her sister reminds her of her most cherished dream.

College.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

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MAY 10, 2019

3.30 A.M.

----------------------------------------------------

Maybe Kat was right- A few days away has done me good.

I've actually stopped bawling every ten minutes. I have even managed to sleep for five hours straight last night, which is a significant improvement.

My family members quickly realized that I had to no intention to talk about the disastrous interview or about my estranged husband. Instead, they've tried distracting me with all sorts of things-

Mum: "Anna, darling, come here and help us with the gardening."

Me: "Who's the other person in the 'we'?"

Kat: (appearing out of nowhere) "That would be me."

Me: "Okay, fine. Wait...Mum. Didn't you complain of knee pain? You may have arthritis! You need to stop exerting yourself."

Mum: "Oh, Anna, really, it isn't so bad-"

Me: "And you, Kat, what do you think you're doing here? Without GLOVES?? You may develop toxoplasmosis! Do you know how toxic-"

Kat: (rolling her eyes) "Oh, now enough already Miss Know-It-All. I was going to wear them! Would you please-"

Me: "On second thoughts, gloves won't suffice. According to Youronlinegynac.com, You have to make sure you wear long sleeve blouses, long trousers, rain boots and a mask, for good measure."

Mum: "Anna-"

Me: "Plus, you're carrying twins for heaven's sake. Don't you ever read pregnancy articles? You must give your back as much rest as possible-"

Kat: "I JUST GOT OUT OF BED-"

Me: "Back to you, Mum. The morning sun is not very good for your aging skin. I think-"

Kat: "You know what, Anna? Never mind about us. You should probably go back to sleep."

Jeez, so much for being considerate.

So, yeah. That's what I've been the entire week – Eat, Read and Watch Movies. Sometimes, Kat pops in to chat but storms away ten minutes later claiming that my "Ridiculous Internet Articles" exasperates her. I completely fail to understand why she gets so agitated about it. The other day when I told her all about Kim K's regime for fighting flabby abdomen and about her extremely shapely hips despite having four kids, all she did was glare at me for a full minute and then stomps away.

Must be the hormones.

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MAY 11, 2019

3.30 A.M.

----------------------------------------------------

IT'S DEFINITELY THE HORMONES.

I MEAN, HOW COULD SHE - I WOULD NEVER – IT'S JUST IMPOSSIBLE –

Calm down, Anna. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out.

Okay... let's just rewind all that.

About two hours ago, I was just roaming around the house, munching on Pop Tarts, having nothing else to do with sleep permanently erased from my mind. Passing through the corridor, I suddenly spotted the narrow staircase leading up to the attic.

Deciding to go check out the old stuff stashed up there, I climbed up the rickety staircase, opening up the dusty wooden door. As I rifled through old furniture and documents, a familiar cardboard box caught my eye. It was labeled "ANNA'S STUFF. DO NOT TOUCH." In my old scrawly handwriting. As my gaze lingers on the label, memories seep into my mind. Why did I skip college? Why did I leave town? Why did I sacrifice everything...for him?

With shaky hands, I open the box.

The box was filled with dozens of college applications, unfinished application essays and my high school books. I touched the frayed sheets, decaying with years, wondering how life would have been, if I had just taken the chance.

"Anna! What happened? " Kat dropped down beside me, breathing heavily.

"Kat! Why did you come up here? The latest article in the Mom-to-be e-magazine says that –"

"Oh, will you just stop with your goddamn articles and tell me what the hell is wrong? Why are you crying?" Her gaze shifted to the box.

"What's in that?"

I quickly closed the lid. "Nothing, nothing. I'm just being my usual pathetic self, I guess." I wiped my cheeks hastily.

"Aw. C'mere, Annie." She opens her arms wide, offering comfort. I accepted it gratefully.

"Okay. Now tell me what's wrong."

Despite my state of weakness, I still found the strength to roll my eyes at her. "Really? You want me to tell you the messy details of my marriage, once again?"

"Oh lord, not that. I'm sick of hearing your big, sad story." I let out a sad chuckle. "The other reason for your misery. There's something else, I know it."

I sniffed. "How do you 'know'? "

"I just...know."

"Jeez, and I thought I was the weird one."

She broke away from the embrace and looked at me right in the eye.

"Now, will you stop deflecting the topic and tell me what the hell is wrong with you?"

I looked here and there for some distraction. A few moments later, I realized that I was trapped.

"It's nothing, really."

"I'll be the judge of that." She smiled kindly at me.

And that was it. I began to bawl like a two year old.

"I wish I never skipped college. I wish I never gave up on my dream. I wish I'd waited like you d-did. "I swallow the huge lump in my throat. "And you know what's the worst part? I gave up everything, for that...that bastard!" I threw my face in my lap, muffling my high decibel cry.

Kat, on the other hand, waits patiently. Ten minutes later, I sit up straight, staring at her with bloodshot eyes.

"So...no words of comfort or consolation?"

"Why is there a need for that when the solution is right in front of you?"

"What do you mean?"

Her face grows impatient. "You sound like you're eighty and lying on your deathbed or something. You have so much of life ahead of you, so many opportunities waiting for you."

I shake my head, still not getting the point.

All of the sudden, she grabs my face tightly and looks at me with happiness glimmering in her eyes.

"You wanted to attend college, right? Get a degree? Discover your talents? This is the moment, Anna! You can finally live your dream!"

I stare at her for a solid minute. And then I stare at her some more.

"Well?" she inquires.

"Me? Attend college? Now?"

She nods vigorously. "This is your chance, Anna. What's there to stop you?"

I blink. She blinks.

Suddenly, I explode into a full-fledged, insane laughter. I laugh and I laugh, till my cheeks hurt.

Kat waits again, calmly as ever. She appraises me grimly. "If you're done with the schizophrenic behavior, would you be kind enough to tell me what you found so funny about what I said?"

"What's funny about it? Seriously? I'll tell you what's funny." I stand in front of her. "Look at me. I'm a thirty year old divorced, childless woman with nothing to look forward to. I've spent my entire life listening to complaints, be it from my boss in office or from my husband back home. Now that my darling husband has got rid of me, I have to work extra shifts to pay the rent, the bills, everything."

"So what, Anna? This is what you've always wanted to do. You are an intelligent, young"- I snorted-"independent woman, as far as I've seen you. You deserve a fun college experience, even if you think you're twelve years late for it."

"Well, sorry to burst your bubble, Kat, but I really am twelve years too late to apply. And anyway, which college will be willing to take me in?"

"Any college would be lucky to have you, Annabelle Green. Just you wait and watch." She strides out of the attic, determined and excited.

Oh, well. Now that I think of it, all of this was probably a part of the mood swings she goes through. I bet she'll forget all of this by breakfast time.

Yeah, nothing to worry about.

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A/N :

Hi there, thank you for taking the time to read my new diary styled new ChickLit series:

"The Diaries of an Older Collegiate"(#TheFreshman).

If this chapter ignited an interest for this series, please let me know by reblogging or sending me a message. It helps a lot and keeps me motivated. Till then stay healthy :)

Love and Kisses,

D <3

[spartanguard]

(love will see us through these) Dark Days [CSRT; 1/7]

Summary: A century ago, the United Realms of Pomem had been a land of peace, prosperity, and magic. Until war tore the land apart, leaving behind cruel leaders and even crueler laws regarding the use of magic. And each year, the youth of each realm are subjected to a fight to the death, both for entertainment and to weed out anyone capable of wielding magic. In the 99th Magic Games, past victors Emma Nolan and Killian Jones find themselves serving as mentors, while Alice Gothel and Robyn West end up representing their realm. Everyone has secrets; everyone has something to lose. Who will win? Who will die? Just don’t forget: all magic comes with a price.

rated M | 2.8k words | AO3

A/N: In case this sounds sort of familiar, this is a reworking of Once Upon A Time in Panem, which I've done as part of the Captain Swan Rewrite-A-Thon (@captainswanbigbang​). Thanks to the mod crew for putting on this awesome event! And to @optomisticgirl​ for being the greatest beta in the history of betas.

A note before you read: in this story, Alice is Killian's daughter with Eloise. But the circumstances surrounding her conception are NOT what they were in the show; while Gothel isn't exactly a great person, she's not the main villain and every effort has been taken to illustrate consent. But if the Knightrook relationship isn't your thing, it might be best to pass this one over. Also, as it was inspired by The Hunger Games, there is some mild violence.Story title comes from "Dark Days" by the Punch Brothers; chapter title from “Run Daddy Run” by Miranda Lambert + Pistol Annies.

part 1: Oh how I've dreaded this god forsaken day

Alice fidgeted with the hem of her skirt. It was a nervous habit and she knew what her mother would say about it—what she was probably trying to say telepathically from her seat on the stage. But Alice had never mastered the cool composure of Eloise; her emotions tended to carry her off with them. 

But even her mum had to have some nerves today. It was the Reaping for the annual Magic Games, and at 16—and the daughter of Sherwood’s only past Victor—she knew the odds weren’t in her favor. Statistically, she didn’t have a higher or lower chance of her name being drawn than any other 16-year-old, but Olympus loved a good story, and one they could never resist was seeing how a Victor’s child fared in the Games. 

It was why her mother never really wanted to have her. Not generally something a parent told a child, but it’s not like there was anything all that normal about their relationship anyways. 

So she continued to tug nervously on her skirt, her mother’s thoughts be damned. 

“Welcome, welcome all,” announced the district escort from Olympus, Victoria Tremaine. She’d been in that role for years but was seemingly ageless; Olympus had some skilled plastic surgeons, apparently. “Thank you for joining me today at the Selection for the 99th Annual Magic Games.” As if they had a choice: attendance was mandatory for everyone, no matter how young or old. Even the textile factories were shut down from their normal ‘round-the-clock grind; the air was eerily quiet without their constant hum. “Before we get to the main event, allow me to present a brief program on the history of the Games, so we can reflect on where we’ve been, and see just how far we’ve come.”

Alice sighed and shifted her weight impatiently; it was the same video every year—the same propaganda.

“Once upon a time, the realms of magic were at peace, and a harmonious existence was enjoyed by all,” the narration told. “It was so idyllic that they decided to join as one so as to better share their prosperity.”

She probably had it memorized at this point.

“And so the most skilled magic users in each realm got together and wove the strongest spell anyone had ever seen, joining the worlds in one land: the United Realms of Pomem, from the Latin for apple—representing their hopes to share knowledge and for a fruitful future.” 

Alice shivered; she was always leery of apples.

“There was a land without magic, though, which had landed in the middle of Neverland, one of the most magical. This was decided to be the capital of this new world, and it was given a name that all the realms knew as mythical: Olympus.

“For years, Pomem flourished, sharing ideas and trade and becoming one of the most technologically advanced civilizations in history. Eventually, it became hard to tell where the magic stopped and science began.”

And this was where the video took a turn for the worse, as far as Alice was concerned.

“Those with magic grew jealous of the advancing technology, despite the fact that it put everyone on equal footing. They preferred to be seen as higher than their peers, and more skilled; they didn’t want to lose their power. What once had brought people together was now a point of division.”

Oh, someone was definitely clamoring for power, Alice knew; but it certainly had not been magic-users.

“Harsh penalties were put in place for anyone caught practicing or using magic—a fair law—” Alice couldn’t suppress her snort of derision “—which many didn’t appreciate, even if they didn’t possess it themselves. Tensions built, and the ungrateful citizens of the realms revolted.”

I would have, too, Alice thought; she didn’t dare voice that opinion out loud, though—not when the armor-plated Black Knights from Olympus were standing guard over the proceedings. 

“Four leaders emerged in the rebellion: sorceresses known as the Wicked Witch of the West, the Evil Queen of the East, the Guardian in the North, and the Savior in the South. They led the insurrectionists against Olympus.” The grainy image of four women in old-fashioned cloaks, standing together in a defensive pose, was the only part of this that Alice even sort of enjoyed. She always wanted to know more about them, but any record of who they were outside of the rebellion had been destroyed. 

“But they didn’t stand a chance. Olympus knew something they didn’t: how to destroy magic. Through their advanced technology and incredible force, Olympus obliterated the insurgents, and nearly rid the realm of the offending sorcery. Completely destroyed was the realm of Wonderland, which had been another stronghold of magic.”

That part always bothered Alice the most—as if genocide wasn’t enough, the fact that an entire realm had been destroyed...god. There was an image of the annihilated ruins on the projection—burning shrubbery, charred homes, and what she could only imagine had been plants of a fantastical nature reduced to ashes. What a waste.

“So, to make sure the citizens remembered their place and that magic never gained power again, Olympus took two known magic users from each realm and locked them into an arena in the depths of Neverland, forcing them to fight to the death. The inherent magic in the land made it all the easier to determine who was the most powerful—and ensure they couldn’t unleash their sorcery on the world again. The lone Victor was granted immunity, and was rendered safe for the world by wearing a computerized cuff that blocked their use of magic.”

That part always hit too close to home; Alice glared at the bracelet her mother had to wear.

“To ensure the continued suppression of magic, the Magic Games continue each year, with each of the realms—Phrygia, Oz, Arendelle, Agrabah, Sherwood, Atlantica, Erebor, Misthaven, DunBroch, and Stormhold—” the scenic views of each that flashed overhead were definitely altered; she’d never seen a cotton field in Sherwood look so photogenic “—required to send two tributes each from their young people. Only one can emerge victorious—and those with magic rarely survive.

“Now, Pomem is once more that land of expanding knowledge and growing prosperity, with no magic to be seen. We continue the games to ensure our lasting peace. Now, let the Reaping begin, and remember: All Magic Comes With A Price.” The crest of Olympus—an apple hanging off a branch—appeared onscreen, along with the strains of the anthem, and then faded away. A few government officials clapped, most enthusiastically being Tremaine, who took the mic again.

“Let’s not drag this out any longer, shall we? Let the Reaping for the 99th Magic Games commence!” How she could be so cheery when she was essentially sentencing children to death was something Alice couldn’t comprehend. 

The woman placed her well-manicured hand in the bowl that held the name of all the youth of the realm, everyone from age 12 to 18. Everyone around Alice joined in her restlessness; they all had their names in there five times—once for every year since they became “eligible” (as if it was some kind of honor—ugh). 

Carefully, Tremaine pulled out a slip and made a production of opening it. Alice held her breath. 

“Our first tribute is...Robyn West.”

“No,” Alice gasped under her breath, and her eyes darted around to find the other girl. Robyn was her classmate, though they weren’t all that close. The thing was: she wanted to be close with her—had for ages—but never worked up the nerve. The butterflies she felt whenever she looked at the strawberry blonde girl were dancing a sad flutter in her stomach as she watched the other girl confidently march up to the stage. God, that sucked. 

“Thank you, Miss West,” Victoria said once she’d reached the podium. “And now for our second tribute...Nicholas Zimmer.”

Okay, that was worse; it may not have been her name called, but she felt no relief. Nicholas was only 12, and he and his twin sister were probably the closest thing she had to friends—at least, they were the only ones to take pity on the weird girl who lived practically alone in Victor’s Village. Well-socialized, she was not. That, and she knew the family was struggling—she could see his mother breaking down in tears as he shyly stepped forward to head up. 

No, she wasn’t okay with that at all. But there was only one thing she could do about it.

Good thing everyone already thought she was crazy, because what she did next was pure insanity. 

Steeling her nerves, she squeezed her hands into fists, tamping down the sparks of magic that were trying to escape. Then she stepped into the aisle between everyone. 

“I volunteer!” she shouted. Gasps surrounded her, and Nicholas froze in his spot. 

She jogged up to him, placed her hand on his shoulder, and gave him a look that she hoped told him it was okay. Then she faced Tremaine and said again, “I volunteer as tribute.”

Behind the escort, her mother was giving a stern look that she couldn’t exactly read. But Victoria carried on. “Well, this is quite the surprise! Come on up, then, and tell us your name.”

Before her mind could catch up with what she’d just done, she ran up the steps to the microphone. “I’m Alice; Alice...Gothel.”

“Why, you must be Eloise’s daughter!” Tremaine exclaimed. “How wonderful!” That wasn’t the word Alice would have chosen.

In no time at all, Alice was being escorted off the stage and into the city hall behind them. She threw a glance toward Robyn as they entered the building, only to find the other girl nearly gaping at her. Maybe she would get a chance to tell her how she felt after all. Not that it would do much good. 

Neither of them had great chances of getting out of this alive, coming from a poor realm like Sherwood. But Alice was the daughter of not one, but two victors; that had to count for something, right?

◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇

Emma Nolan could hear her mother gasping from downstairs. 

“David! Look at that—she volunteered to save that boy! No one ever does that!” 

“I’m sitting right next to you, Snow.” 

“I know, but—oh my god, isn’t that Eloise’s daughter?”

“Damn, I think it is.”

God, it was like they’d never seen a Reaping before, even though that couldn’t be further from the truth. Not that anyone’s lives were free of the annual anguish, but her family in particular was extra intimate with the affair. 

Snow Nolan and her husband, David—who were victors in back-to-back years, and were basically local royalty—had long served as Misthaven’s mentors, with one main exception: the year their daughter, Emma, was reaped (one of their former mentees, Graham Humbert, had the honor that year).

Which made her wonder—why would the child of a victor who hadn’t been selected enter the Games voluntarily? If she somehow managed to escape that fate, why go chasing it? She didn’t need Henry seeing stuff like that; his odds were terrible enough as it was. At least he was still only 11.

God, even the thought of that made her magic prick at her fingertips. She took a few calming breaths until it subsided; few knew about it, least of all Olympus, and she needed to keep it that way if she was going to have any success this year.

Her mother had been chosen as Mayor of Misthaven a few months ago, which was how Emma found herself rushing to pack a suitcase in anticipation of her first year as a mentor, alongside Graham, who had come to be one of her closest friends in the ensuing years. To the rest of the world, they were more than that—as far as Olympus and its citizens were concerned, Emma and Graham were True Loves, capital letters and all, just like her parents, living happily with their son, Henry. 

And she did love Graham, but more as a brother than a lover, and she knew he felt the same toward her. Their shared experiences in the Games brought them together as friends and Henry had united them as parents, but she had long since vowed to never fall in love again; not after what happened with Neal.

“Mom, hurry up! Dad’s already packed. You don’t want to be late!” Henry shouted from downstairs. Truthfully, she was supposed to be watching the other realms’ Reapings before attending Misthaven’s, but she wouldn’t be her if she wasn’t procrastinating. It was as good an excuse as any to avoid the inevitable crowd shots of weeping parents and terrified kids. 

Henry apparently gave up waiting and just ran into her room. Despite Graham not being his biological father, he looked more like Graham’s son than Emma’s, with their shared dark, messy hair; she’d hoped Henry would inherit her green eyes, but they were definitely Neal’s deep brown. He knew the truth about his father, but Graham was as much his parent as Emma was. 

“I’m almost done,” Emma replied, zipping up her bag. “Just missing one thing: a hug.” She walked over to her son and wrapped him tight. “I’m going to miss you, kid.”

“I’ll miss you, too, Mom. Are you sure you have to go?”

“You know I don’t have a choice, Henry; it’s my turn,” she answered; there were only a handful of other Victors in their realm, but they had all done the mentor thing before her parents. “Plus, I think your grandparents are looking forward to having you to themselves for a few weeks.” Henry laughed at that, but hugged just a bit tighter. “I love you, Henry.” 

“Love you, too.”

Graham poked his head into the room. “Ready?” he asked.

“As I’ll ever be.”

“Shall we, then?”

◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇

From his home in Atlantica, Killian Jones, victor of the 82nd Magic Games, watched the events in Sherwood as they were broadcast. He was about to make his way to his own town square for their Reaping, and from there would head with this year’s tributes to Olympus as one of their mentors.

He was nursing his glass of rum with extra careful attention this year. The Reaping always had a way of bringing up unpleasant memories—being reaped twice will do that to a man—but it’d gotten worse each of the past few. The rum didn’t really help, but he supposed it didn’t hurt either. It wouldn’t change the outcome, but he’d gotten so used to the vice over the years that it was something of a comfort—especially given that his only true source of comfort was presently out of reach. 

The same familiar churning in his gut began to coil as he watched the mouthpiece from Olympus stick her fingers in that bowl. The image was nearly identical to the one 23 years ago, when his 12-year-old self was first called up. That one was clearer in his memory than the one six years later, because of what followed.

But he shook his head, trying to dislodge the memory; as much as it still hurt, it was in the past. He turned his focus back on the television, and let out a deep breath when the first name was called, even if it was slightly familiar. It wasn’t the one he was most concerned with.

It was the same with the second name, and he finished his drink. He stood to start to make his way out, but then an all-too-familiar voice rang out from the television, and that memory that had threatened to take over played through his head without restraint. 

“I volunteer!” the voice shouted, and its echo rang out in his head—his brother’s voice, all those years ago.

He watched in horror as the blonde girl from Sherwood took the boy’s place, just like Liam had taken his. No—no, this couldn’t be happening, not again. Gods, he couldn’t watch. 

“I’m Alice; Alice...Gothel,” the girl said. 

(“I’m Liam Jones,” the memory echoed.)

In a weird way, being chosen again for—and then somehow winning—the games when he was 18 had ended up giving him a reason to go on, instead of the aimless drift he’d been on in those intervening years. But in one moment—one more absurd display of nobility and bravery—that was all at risk of crumbling again, and spectacularly so.

With a primal yell, he punched his tv with his hook, shattering the screen and cutting his clothing, but that was the least of his cares. 

The Games had already taken his hand, his love, and his brother. 

They weren’t taking his daughter, too. 

◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇

thanks for reading! the rest of the chapters will be much longer, I assure you. tagging some people who might be interested; please let me know if you/don’t want a tag! @kat2609​ @thesschesthair​ @xpumpkindumplingx​ @shipsxahoy​ @amortentia-on-the-rocks​ @mryddinwilt​ @cocohook38​ @annytecture​ @wingedlioness​ @word-bug​ @distant-rose​ @wellhellotragic​ @welllpthisishappening​ @let-it-raines​ @pirateherokillian​ @its-imperator-furiosa​ @killianmesmalls​ @sherlockianwhovian​ @ineffablecolors​ @laschatzi​ @ive-always-been-a-pirate​ @nfbagelperson​ @stubblesandwich​​ @killian-whump​​ @phiralovesloki​ @athenascarlet​ @kmomof4​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​ @snowbellewells​ @idristardis​ @scientificapricot​ @searchingwardrobes​

[katefiction]

Cora, Chapter 2: Invitations

I have to tell someone.

I can’t.

I can’t tell anyone.

Annie, she’d know what to do.

No, she’d just congratulate me and pat me on the back.

Jenny? She’d freak me out even more.

Mum…let’s not go there.

Dad? I quiver at the thought.

The door swings open as I stand contemplating my options, one hand in my mouth, my nail being torn to shreds, the other clutching a bottle of brandy.

‘Cora!’, he says as if I’m a wonderful surprise he wasn’t expecting. 

‘Evening Nicholas’, I smile, placing my hand at my side quickly.

He looks fantastic, his hair perfectly in place, and wearing a blue shirt and chinos. I have opted for a little black dress.

‘You look lovely’, he kisses me on both cheeks and I hand him the brandy.

‘For you’.

 ‘Brandy and fish? I think I’ll have to teach you a thing or two about flavours!’, he chuckles.

He lets me in to his plush Notting Hill apartment. Unlike my apartment at Clarence House, Nicholas is surrounded by shiny new furniture and contemporary art. It’s the kind of place that when you step bare foot, your feet sink into the lush, soft strands of the carpet.

He puts the brandy to one side and pours me a glass of wine.

‘So what’s for dinner?’, I ask.

‘Salt-crusted grilled fish with lemongrass’, he says proudly. 

‘You are full of surprises! Who knew you were a cook?’

‘I have many talents’, he says, looking over his glass at me.

I blush lightly. I have no idea what to say in response.

We settle down to dinner, Nicholas entertaining me with stories from his childhood, and the rivalry he and his older brother, Jonathan, had as boys.

‘I used to scribble out his grades on his school work and replace them with E’s and F’s’, he laughs, ‘he used to get so angry when Mum and Dad made him do more homework to make up for it’.

‘I wish I had siblings’

‘They’re not all they’re made out to be’

‘No, you’re so lucky to have that one person who understands…’, I trail off. ‘…I remember being seven and finally realising that Mum and Dad divorcing meant I wouldn’t get a little brother or sister to play with.’

I don’t have to tell Nicholas the story, we’d never talked about it, but of course he knew, the whole world knew. My parents divorced when I was five. They continued to live in Clarence House, albeit in very separate apartments, for my sake. When I left home for university, Mum wasted no time in moving to a secluded country home in Surrey. I’d resented her for it ever since. For leaving me. For leaving Dad.

I snap myself out of it as Nicholas says, ‘yes well, silver linings and all that.’ I can see I’ve made him uncomfortable. He changes the subject and my family aren’t mentioned for the rest of the meal.

After a chocolate soufflé, we head over to the living area. I’m a little woozy from the wine and would love to put my feet up and sink into the couch, but it’s hard on the back and sides, and I sit awkwardly upright as Nicholas sits next to me, looking all the more glamorous, his arm draped over his arm rest.

‘Get comfortable’, he insists.

I shuffle backwards into the couch, holding my wine in one hand, doing my best to look casual.

Nicholas swirls the wine in his glass. ‘So I know it’s a bit short notice for someone like you, but my father’s hosting our annual Highland Fling next month, and I wondered if you’d like to accompany me?’

‘Will you be dancing?’, I giggle.

‘Yes, of course, and I’ll be in a kilt’

I almost ask him if he’ll wear the kilt in the traditional way, with nothing underneath, but I stop myself. He raises an eyebrow as if he’s expecting me to ask that very question.

‘I’ll check my diary’, I say instead.

Nicholas’ face drops slightly, giving him a look of an abandoned puppy on the roadside.

‘I’m sure it’ll be fine though Nick! Best not double book myself’, I say cheerily, placing a hand on his knee to reassure him. 

‘Good’. He reaches to my hair, tucking a strand behind my ear before resting it on my shoulder. Tilting his body toward mine, my heart starts to beat uncontrollably. He’s taken that small gesture as a green light. Shit.

Nicholas is inches away from my face when I panic, ‘I can’t!’, I say, my voice going to liquid.

He stops, but doesn’t pull away, his face still ludicrously close to mine given what I’d just said.

‘You can’t?’

‘I mean I won’t…I mean…just not on the first date’, I manage a smile.

I’m lying; I did mean ‘I can’t’. A Freudian slip. How could I kiss this man after kissing another yesterday? How could he compare? I shake the thought of Ben out of my mind.

Nicholas pats my knee, ‘of course’.

‘Could I use the bathroom?’, I say, hoping to change the subject.

‘Through the passage, second on the right’. I think I hear a hint of annoyance in his voice.

I amble back from the bathroom a few minutes later, looking at the art work in the passage as I go. Next to the doorway that leads back to the living area is a small, wooden telephone table, with a telephone and a pile of documents sitting on top. The one messy thing in Nicholas’ home, I think to myself.

My father has always said I have an inquisitive mind; anyone else would call it nosy. I reassure myself that I’m just getting to know him better as I flick nonchalantly through Nicholas’ papers. A single sheet at the bottom of the pile catches my eye.

25/07/2163

Invoice

Elliot Mason Private Catering

2 course meal x2    £250.00

I push the papers back into place, smarting from my discovery. Part of me is endeared that he would go to such lengths for our date. The other part, the niggling part in my chest, is annoyed that he lied to me. It’s the cynical princess that wins. I have to test him.

‘So’ I say as I re-enter the room, where Nicholas is clearing away the glasses, ‘what are you going to cook for me next time?’ 

‘Ha! Well next time, we’ll be at the Highland Fling, so I won’t need to’, he gives me a small wink.

Forcing myself to come to my senses, I thank him for the evening, and promise to get in touch. So what if he paid a chef and lied about it? Surely that proves he likes me?

Maybe that niggling feeling I’ve felt all night isn’t my doubt, maybe it’s guilt.

I have to tell someone.

***

I drum my fingers across the desk in an erratic beat as Maggie reals off my commitments for the coming month. Our monthly diary meetings were her idea; a way to keep me organised and for us to merge my work diary with my personal one.

‘The weekend beginning Saturday, August twenty-eighth, you have free…’

‘I’m in Scotland that weekend’, I say, distracted by a fly buzzing near the window, trying to escape. 

‘Ok, for the whole weekend?’ Maggie never asked for specifics, where I was going and who with were my business. Nevertheless, I usually told her anyway.

I get up and open the window, releasing the fly to the world, ‘I’m not sure yet, it’s the Dunrobin Highland Fling, I might come home the next day’.

She scribbles something in her diary, as we discuss the last few days of August for a couple of minutes. I’m eager to leave, I hate meetings. I’m always the fly trying to escape from the window.

‘Just one last thing Ma’am’, Maggie picks up a large, thick envelope. ‘This came for you at the office, I presume you were expecting it?’

She hands it to me and I pull out the contents; a navy blue information pack, with the words ‘Marion and James Evans Trust’ in white writing on the cover. My heart skips a beat.

Opening the folder, I find a compliments note written in scrawling, spiky handwriting,

‘In case you couldn’t find the email address,

Ben Evans’

I’m convinced Maggie can hear my heart humming.

‘It’s from Ben Evans, about the Trust’, I say, my mouth dry.

‘Is he wanting you to get involved?’ Maggie asks, more interested in her paperwork.

‘Um…I don’t know’, I stay glued to the spot, staring at his disjointed penmanship, wondering what it says about him.

‘Are you ok Ma’am?’

When I look up, Maggie is looking at me, a slightly concerned expression on her face. It’s not like me to be so quiet.

‘I kissed him’. The words are out before my brain can stop them.

‘Mr Egerton, Ma’am?’

‘What?’, she thinks I’m talking about Nicholas, I had told her about the date in a fit of nerves on the way back from the awards. ‘No, not Nicholas…Ben, that night, I don’t know what happened, one minute we were talking, the next…’

Maggie’s eyes widen for a milli-second, then settle. She is truly the calmest person I know.

‘Are you planning to see each other again?’

‘I don’t know, I mean of course not! I’m seeing Nicholas, it was just a moment of madness’, I blurt out.

‘Are you worried?’, she says, trying to find the source of my angst.

‘About what?’

‘That he may speak to someone?’

Her innocent question hits me in the chest like a freezing snowball on a winter’s day. I hadn’t even considered he might talk to someone, and by ‘someone’, Maggie meant the press.

‘He wouldn’t, would he? I mean, why would he?’, the panic in my voice is rising by the second.

‘For publicity, press attention…any number of reasons Ma’am’

‘Oh shit’. How could I be so stupid?

Maggie tries to placate me, ‘I can get in contact with his team, make sure he knows any such action would be deplorable’

‘No! No, it’s fine, I’ll speak to him myself’, I scan the room, my mind buzzing.

‘I’m not sure that would be advisable’, she says calmly.

I ignore her against my better judgement, ‘I should see him in person, yes, that’s what I need to do, I need to see him.’

***

Queen’s Club, London

Maggie knew it was an excuse, I knew it was an excuse. But that wasn’t enough to stop me.

I’m well known around here, visiting every month or so to play a quick game of tennis. Ben and I had spoken about it that night, he had told me he comes here often, and after a few discreet phone calls from Maggie, I had discovered he’d be here training today.

Walking towards the lawns in my tennis whites and neon pink trainers, I scan the area for any sight of him and it doesn’t take long before I do. Swinging his racket forcefully against his training partner’s forehand, he bounces around the court, sweating head to toe in the August heat.  

I stand and watch for a few minutes, admiring the shapes his body can make under such speed, until his partner relents and goes to find some shade. Ben heads over to a bench on the side of the court, sits down and leans back his head, pouring water from his bottle all over his face, before gulping the rest down. 

I stride towards him purposefully. I am here for a reason.

I see him squinting like he’s seen a mirage. A grin passes over his face as I approach.

‘Morning, how are you?’, he says simply.

‘Good thanks, and you?’, I say. Casual. Be casual.

‘Good, good’

I stand in front of him, an expectant silence between us. Say something clever, Cora, or funny. Say anything. Speak for God’s sake!

‘I got your information pack, thank you!’, I say with a squeak.

‘Well, I noticed there hadn’t been any emails from you’, he shrugged. ‘I thought you might have been avoiding me.’

I laugh like a deranged idiot, ‘why would I avoid you?’

‘Because you kissed me’

I’m startled by his bluntness and stumble over my words before I realise what he’s just said.

‘Wait a second, you kissed me’, I say indignantly.

‘That’s not how I remember it’, he leans down to re-tie his shoelaces.

I open my mouth to bite back, then realise what he’s doing. ‘Nice try’.

‘Aha, she’s discovered a sense of humour at last’, he says, looking to the sky playfully.

I sit down next to him; I need to bite the bullet. ‘I have to ask you something…’, I say tentatively.

‘Go on’

‘Have you…told anyone about what happened?’

‘Nope, why?’

‘I just had to check’

‘For?…’ He places his elbows on his thighs and studies me.

‘If it got out, well, it would be a nightmare; I would really appreciate it if you didn’t say anything’

‘Thanks for the vote of confidence’, he rolls his eyes. ‘Is there someone in particular you don’t want to find out? A boyfriend, perhaps’

My heart jumps into my throat. ‘No!’ I say it a little too quickly. ‘But, I’ve been on a date, since…it happened’

Why did I just tell him that?

A flicker of disappointment passes over his face.

‘So you‘re just worried I’ll use you for publicity?’, a darkness clouds his voice.

‘No, I-’

‘Cora, I’ve been in the public eye long enough to know how it works, I’m not interested in making the Sunday papers, I just want to play tennis’

‘I’m sorry, it would be stupid of me not to check’, I say.

He nods in agreement, ‘I appreciate you coming to me yourself’

‘See, I told Maggie that would be best!’, I can’t wait for the chance to rub that one in her face.

‘So Maggie knows does she?’, he raises both eyebrows. ‘And yet I’m getting the lecture about keeping my mouth shut!’

Crap. ‘She’s the only person I told, I swear’, I say, panicking.

Ben laughs, that glorious, big laugh, ‘I couldn’t give a shit who you tell’. There’s that bluntness again.

I want to hit him with my racket; this man knows how to break me into a sweat.

‘As you’re here, do you fancy a game?’, he motions towards the court.

‘With you?’

‘No with the Pope, yes with me. I heard Bejar offered you lessons, I think you can do better than him’, his deep brown eyes dart across mine.

I force Nicholas back into my mind like a shoehorn. Don’t flirt, don’t flirt.

‘Well you do need help on that forehand’, I tease.

We head over to the court where we hit a few balls around, Ben giving me some pointers along the way. As we finally get into a game, unsurprisingly, he wins every point. All but one, when he hits the net.

Later as I walk him to the changing rooms, I can’t help but gloat. ‘A point against a tennis champion, that’s pretty good going.’

‘One measly point! And it was only because I was distracted by those ridiculous trainers!’, he looks down at my neon pink feet.

It usually takes an age for a new friend to feel like they can tease me. I smile to myself, grateful that he just didn’t ‘give a shit’.

‘I’m sure you’re better at other things’, he pats me on the shoulder unaware of the glow it ignites inside me.

‘I am’, I try and sound mysterious.

‘Like?’

I say the first think that pops into my mind, ‘like the Highland Fling’

Ben finds this hilarious, of course he does.

‘I bet you couldn’t do it, I bet you’re too “manly” to even try’, I hold his gaze.

‘Try me’, he says, his voice deep.

‘There’s a party on the twenty-eighth, my friend…the guy I’m going with, it’s at his home, a big do, I’ll send you the details…if you’re not too much of a wuss, that is’

What am I doing?

‘Great’, if he’s registered that I’m going there with a date, he doesn’t show it.

‘Great, see you then’, I flounce off , my face on fire, my heart thumping.

‘Uh Cora!’, he calls after me.

I turn around.

‘You’ll probably need my number, to send me the details?’

‘Oh yes’, I blush.

I walk away with my hand gripped around my racket, Ben’s number in my phone, and his eyes on my back.

This has suddenly become very real.

What have I done?