#i have to go google hanahaki now

[shunshuntaiga]

angst anon back with a Concept ™

btw sorry sorry sorry for clogging your askbox feel free to tell me to stop i won't mind

ok, so... what about.. hear me out!... spadeliano hanahaki au 👀 it could go either way because honestly they're both emotionally constipated enough to almost die from all the unrequited (in their head) love.

I will be extremely honest anon, though I have heard the word, i have absolutely no clue what Hanahaki au's are XD i can presume from your ask that it's something to do with loving someone so much it kills you? But other than that, not the foggiest.

However, they are both so emotionally constipated that if that's the case, yes I could see that being fun. Although after my last fantasy type au (I did a soulmates au) I am a little intimidated by going with canon world breaking au's. Hats off to anyone who can write those because man, I STRUGGLED with it.

[xovalentinewritesxo]

Say you love me (I need it). [Miguel O'hara]

✿ - Having a crush in the spider society was seen as a distraction. The universe was supposed to be put first, so that's what you did.  Knowing that you were playing with your life and knew that this could kill you.

✿ - Miguel O'hara x Reader

✿ - Angst, With tiny fluff.

✿ - Hanahaki Disease.

✿ - Mentions of blood and vomit, bodily pain, near death experience, yelling/arguing, google translated spanish (I apologize in advance-)

A/N: Hiii~! This is my first fanfic! Miguel might be a little OOC, I wanted to make him a little more soft! My next fic however- I can’t promise you that lol!

If you want to support me: Here's My Kofi! <3

I appreciate everything and everyone who comes across my works! Enjoy!

You knew this disease had the ability and potential to kill you. You knew that very well.

You knew that eventually, it would constrict your breathing, flowers would crawl up your throat and leave you breathless before you eventually passed.

Were you going to say anything about it? Of course not. You couldn’t allow something like this disrupt your job as a spider person.

That was until you were out with Gwen and Jessica, and ended up puking up roses.

You had a mission in Earth-229, a rogue anomaly managed to make it into this universe and Alexander, the Spiderwoman of this dimension [My Spidersona ^^], was sick and couldn’t capture it.

So taking up the job, you were joined by Gwen and Jessica, and the mission was going well. The three of you managed to capture the anomaly and were preparing to bring it back to HQ when you got a surge of pain shoot through your chest.

‘No..no..no! Not now please! Anything but now!’

You were standing with Jessica as she logged the report, when you quickly left their side to curl over the side of the building you were standing on, scaring Gwen and concerning Jess.

“Y/n? Are you okay?!”

“Oh god..is it flaring up again? You haven't been around him today, though.”

That statement from Jess caused Gwen to look at her funny. “What? What is wrong with Y/n?” She asked as she rubbed your back, wincing as she listening to the sound of you throwing up, the pained yet muffled cries leaving your body.

Jessica walks over and helps Gwen raise you back up to your feet, a few rose petals stuck to your uniform, and Jessica looked over the building and sighed. Seeing full roses, some with thorns attached.

“Y/n. You need to either tell him. Or you need to get the surgery!”

“It’s not that simple Jessica! I am going to tell him!”

“When!? I am not going to sit back and watch you waste away simply because you can’t tell Miguel your feelings!”

Gwen, once again slowly raised her hand between the two arguing. “Um...Can I ask...what’s wrong, Y/n?”

You sigh and sit down on the edge of the building, placing a hand to your chest to try and ease the growing pressure that was raging in her body.

“It’s called Hanahaki Disease..”

Gwen raised an eyebrow. “I thought that was a fictional Disease? One used in stories and books..”

You give her a sad chuckle before looking over at her. “It is…in certain universes. Sadly mine it is very much a real disease.” You state as you slowly stand up. 

“Its a disease of unrequited love. One may start to cough of petals if the person they love does not love them back. It starts with Petals, then full flowers, then flowers with stems….” You take a deep breath as you could feel stems start to constrict around certain veins, your lungs being wrapped in a horrifically beautiful pattern.

Jessica can see you struggling to talk and sighs. “She’s in the late stages, stems start to appear in the victim's lungs eventually, if not surgically removed, they’ll constrict their lungs and eventually kill them.”

Gwen gasps as you lean against her, she could hear the wheezing as you struggle to breath, the quick rise and fall of your chest was concerning. You give her a pained smile as Jessica leads you through the portal and back to HQ.

“Y/n…why don’t you get them removed?...if you’re in so much pain..”

“Because. If I remove them. My feelings go too..” You quickly say as Gwen helps you sit on a bench in the cafeteria while Jessica goes to deliver the report to Miguel a job that was usually yours. But with your condition, you slowly stopped going, as even being around him for a short amount of time would cause the vines in your chest to tighten around your heart.

You then freeze for a bit a severe coughing fit coming over her as she hurled over, but instead of vomit, like Gwen had expected, it was several blood roses that hit the floor with a disgusting plop. You dry heave for a bit as a hand flew to your chest.

You could feel your head pounding, the world around you spinning, and you could feel the air being constricted from your lungs. You suddenly grip Gwen’s hand which causes the girl to jump and your eyes widened.

“G-gwen..I-i think i’m going to..” 

You didn’t get to finish the sentence before you felt your body go limp and you fell forward, barely being held up by Gwen who started to freak out.

Your vision was blurred and fading to black and the last thing you heard was Gwen yelling to whoever was passing by to help you to the medical bay.

"Oh My God! Y/n!"

"You did amazing today."

You don’t remember when your feelings for Miguel started. But you want to say it was about a year after joining the Spider Society.

It was just a normal day for you, you were chatting with Lyla as you waited for Miguel to assign you a new mission.

“Hey. Y/n.”

You raise your head to see Miguel lowering his platform so he could come over to you. You could feel  your heart rate increase as he stood across from you. 

“I just wanted to say Thank you, you’ve been a great asset to us since you’ve joined.”

That simple praise is what sent the ball rolling down the hill. Every word he said to you after that made your heart sore, you could see that when you come around that his mood brightens a bit. He would request for you to join him whenever he had a mission. 

"Please take care of yourself, that was a rough mission today,"

"Did you eat today? Please care for yourself, we don't need you passing out."

His small praises would make your heart happy. It made you feel worthy and it only solidified your growing feeling for him.

Sometimes the two of you would spend time together after missions and you knew you were falling head over heels for him.

That was until you overheard him speaking to Jessica one day.

“Why don’t you tell them Miguel?”

“Feelings will only complicate things. I can’t afford to put the universe at risk.”

Those words broke your heart. 

Put the universe at risk? Did he not trust you enough to allow you to love him? Was he afraid that something was going to happen and instead decided to push you away?

Whatever it was, it was the beginning of the end.

Your disease spreads rapidly. After one day of seeing the petals every time you went to cough. To have to leave meetings to have coughing fits and full flowers leaving your body. It was awful. The pain was relentless. You continued your duties as a spider woman, trying not to let your sickness affect you.

You even had a fainting spell in Miguel’s office, and had to beg him to let you continue working, and convince him that everything was fine when everything was in fact, not fine.

You struggled with trying to hide it from Miguel, but you managed, but you couldn't get it past Jessica. Jessica caught on and was concerned beyond belief. She would frequently check in on you, and try to convince you to say something to Miguel.

But you couldn't bring yourself to do it. You didn't want to add more stress to Miguel's daily battles already. So you kept it to yourself, and it was not well for you

“Y/n?...Y/n?..por favor dios cuide de ella*...”

You groaned as you felt IV’s hooked up into your arms, you felt a heavy weighted black over your body.

The sounds of a steady heart monitor and when you glanced over you saw an x-ray picture of your chest. Your condition was bad. You didn't release how bad you had let it get.

It showed vines wrapped around her lungs and flowers were in the smaller crevices, which prevented your body from working to it's full compacity.

You whined as your turned your head to look over to see a very stressed and looked like tear stained cheek Miguel sitting at your bedside with his eyes closed.

You reached out to touch the hand of Miguel who jumped slightly at your touch before he rose from his seat and pulled you into a hug. You froze for a bit before hugging him back, your eyes widening when you feel his body start to shake as if he was…crying.

“Miguel..Are you-”

“Shh..let me hold you..let me hold you y/n.”

You tightened your grip around him as he held onto you tight, he was holding you like you were going to vanish in an instance.

The two of you sat in silence for a good 10 minutes before he finally spoke up.

“Why?..” Is what he asked first, and you knew what he was asking.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” HIs voice suddenly raised up and he moves to grip your shoulders. “How could you just suffer like that in silence?! ¡Respóndeme!” Miguel barked and you could feel tears welling up in your eyes.

“I..i..I’m so sorry Miguel. I..i didn’t want to be a burden to you-”

“SO YOU DECIDED THAT DYING WAS BETTER!?” 

You winced as he cut you off, you hated when he yelled but this time, it wasn’t from a place of anger..it was one of fear, concern and hurt. Miguel brought his hands up to caress both of your cheeks, he lets out a soft sigh before bringing your lips towards his. You gasped as he pulled you into a soft precious kiss, you felt like you were on cloud nine.

Miguel held your lips before pulling away slightly, and pulling you back into a hug.

“Please…do not do that ever again. I love you too much to lose you, especially like this..”

He places a kiss on your forehead as he held you, rubbing your arms, having to have a hand touching you.

You felt your heart swell and hurt, you could feel tears well up in your eyes again as you buried your head into his chest. It was a silent confirmation that the two of you made to each other.

"The doctor says you're cleared up...I'm so glad...When i saw it I thought..I thought.." He got choked up again before he sighs a bit.

"I thought you were going to die...and leave me alone again."

From that moment forward, You promised to tell him everything and he promised to be there for you.

Miguel made sure to take care of you, if you even felt a little off he made you tell him, he was scared of your disease coming back [Even when you told him it wasn’t like that]. He made sure to tell you everyday when you came into HQ that he loved you, hugging you and kissing your cheek or forehead before you left on a mission.

Miguel didn’t want to lose you. So made sure to say it every time he saw you.

“Hey, Mi Amor,..” Miguel stopped you before you headed on a mission, he pulls you into a hug before placing a kiss on your lips.

“I love you.”

You blush and let a small giggle slip past your lips before kissing him back. 

“I love you too..”

© xovalentinewritesxo 2023 <3

Please feel free to put a request in!

[snonkerdoodlefizzy221b]

Another idea for you, Echo with Hanahaki disease!

Fun fact I literally did not know what hanahaki disease was before I googled it just now but YESSSSSSSSS

Although that would have to be a back burner thing for a pretty long while. Just because of all the stuff I've got going on already and i KNOW it would have to be multi chapter which I can't seem to manage! I'll try my best to get to it though (just like I told @amethyst257 for that Skipper fire and rescue fic and look where that is).

[asmilethatshines]

100 Theme Challenge - Variation 1 - 20. Fortitude

Fortitude: courage in pain or adversity

Synonyms: bravery, courage, strength of mind

I stared at this definition for a very long time. And also avoided this challenge. I meant I could only think of "going to the battle and endure injury" to fit this definition. And there is no way I am able to draw USxUK Hetalia at the moment to fit the theme @@ So I kinda cheated again.

My picture is inspired by the fanfiction "Feeling" by @madmeridian from AO3 (link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26368531). God dangggggg it I think I bookmark her entire library T_T I love every of her work and she tried every AUs possible for Meronia. Truly remarkable writer T_T Unfortunately I think she is inactive now *cries*

The fiction is based on Hanahaki disease. I quote directly from Google ok? Hanahaki is a fictional illness in which a person bearing an unrequited love coughs up flower petals until they die or their feelings are reciprocated. The disease can also be cured by a surgical procedure that removes the flowers, but this will result in them losing their feelings of affection and all memories of the person they loved.

So in this fiction Near starts coughing up snapdragon petals. I don't know the meaning of the flower but it seems to be the symbol for Mello according to the author. And Near chooses death over giving up his affection for Mello -> I take it as "fortitude" for my theme: the willing to face death to stay true to his emotion.

In my mind Mello's symbol flower fits best with "sunflower": wild and bright. But the idea of Near having and coughing a gigantic sunflower from his lung is just ... absurd and silly to draw. So I changed it to 'golden rose' - my favourite flower ^^"

Yay I overused the blood again xDD ever since I figure how to draw blood I enjoy it so much. I intentionally make Near face kinda "emotionless"? I meant he is coughing blood but he doesn't even cringe to show his strength of mind

[crossover-enthusiast]

reread the hanahaki improvement post and remembered that time I made Good Hanahaki polyhatz and now I REALLY wish I had been able to save m old account. might go google some flower meanings now :)

:O!!

Also, funny you should mention that...

I still have the email of the ask!!

I actually went searching for it a while back bc I still love this concept a lot, heh

[paulmezcal]

20 questions for fic writers

ty. for the tag, @hangmanbradshaw! between you and mo, i feel v welcomed to tumblr haha

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 7

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 75,042 (writing this after seeing yours was humbling)

3. What fandoms do you write for? top gun with a sprinkle of marauders-era in my drafts but shhh

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

there's a limit to your love -- sereshaw amnesia fic

caught a fever from the inside -- bradley fixing all of jake's self doubt and thought spiraling issues with his wang

sugar on my tongue -- pierced nip fic no. 1

when bradley falls in love (goose&carole's version) -- iwtby companion piece for someone's birthday

you've got the win in your bag -- pierced nip fic no. 2

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yes! from the point that i started doing it (i don't have the attention span to go back, sorry) but moving forward i do! i eat every comment i get as crunch croutons on my soup

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? LOL can i answer with some ideas on my "to write" list here because...

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? fever's got a pretty happy ending for how spiral-y it starts off with

8. Do you get hate on fics? nah

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? stares at the 20k series i wrote about jake seresin with nipple ring(s)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? technically i wrote an in-fandom crossover in the iwtby-verse! but nothing so far

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? doubt it!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? i did a round robin fic that was pretty fun, but otherwise no(t yet). i vibe with group writing though, wouldn't be opposed to doing it more!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? jake/bradley right now! took a fandom break for a long while, but was definitely a deancas girl for a while, also i have read a large chunk of "the man from uncle" illya kuryakin/napoleon solo fic, i'm not sorry.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? ahhh there's a few i am afraid i have preemptively lost steam before even starting but i am not giving up (yet)! there's a reverse-hanahaki-disease jake/bradley that got riffed on discord that i really want to write.

16. What are your writing strengths? idk maybe thought spiraling and angst?

17. What are your writing weaknesses? keeping things short/to the point hahaha

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? fine with it, but i do judge the google translate options from french when i read it (sorry)

19. First fandom you wrote for? probably supernatural or harry potter, i can't remember

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? fever is definitely my fav, both 'cause it's the first thing i wrote in a long time and kinda dragged me back into fandom, and because i love me some self-deprecating introspective character studies. limits might take this place when i finish it!

i tag @magdarko in response :) and @lewispullsman also for all your tumblr pro tips! (no pressure)

[cinnamonsugarteethtwists]

what have you been working on in terms of writing lately?

hi hi!! I have a couple projects going on atm (every writers bane) but here are my personal favourites rattling around in google docs. all of them are fictions based on The Magnus Archives.

A Jmart Chochohaki. based on the expression "butterflies in your stomach," I'm writing a TMA Hanahaki fic with a butterfly garden instead of flowers. featuring Butterfly!Prentiss as a spectre of the writhing beauty of caterpillars eating away their homes and emerging anew :> I'm currently at 6k words, unpublished, but I'm hoping to make it 3 chaptered (maybe more if I'm feeling adventurous)

A Jmart retelling of a folktale. based on the story The Widow's Son, specifically the Norwegian translation. dead dove: do not eat. not much else to say about it but it's my closest one to finished so I'm naturally excited about it. it's at about 2.2k words right now and I'm expecting it to stretch to about 4-5k before I publish it as a one-shot.

[sigh]. aa dating app centered double-identity romance fic. based on the dating app Bantr from Ted Lasso, it's about Jmart meeting on an anonymous dating app set in season 1 times when Jon hated Martin. it's cheesy and stupid but I'm a sucker for double identity fics and I'm setting out for this too be too well written for what it is. this one's at 3.2k currently and I'm also hoping to stretch it out for... [checks notes] at least 5 chapters.

I would be nothing if I didn't mention Unfold or phosphenes and pasts by @arcadecarpetgay. I am going absolutely apeshit over these stories (that I did, in part, help to create, though they did 99% of the writing for and deserves all the credit you can muster.) Unfold is a little-more-involved Moth!Jon fic, [crowd goes wild] and phosphenes and pasts is a little-more-involved time travel fix-it [crowd gets louder]. Both are published and incomplete so check them out !! I am grossly biased but I think that they are very cool stories and I wish I could read them for the first time again even after the long nights where I did just that in an effort to get them out in a timely manner.

[grubus]

20 questions for writers, tagged by @fanfiction_artist_prototype

for some reason the site won't let me actually @ them :( hope u see this. Answers under read more!

how many works do you have on ao3? Apparently 79! how interesting.

what's your total ao3 word count? 316,765! Nice.

What fandoms do you write for? I think I'll only list the most recent one! Which is "The Scum Villain's Self Saving System". I usually don't switch much once I'm writing, I tend to get a little bit too focused on that specific fandom.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? In order! Shen Yuan of No Relation (so far my only svsss fic) Clutching Daffodils (magnus archives/hanahaki fic) Worries (magnus archives with archivist!Martin au) Silence thy Fledgling Call (a dream smp fic, vampire/werewolf au) Softly Squeezing (magnus archives/Jon's missing rib fic)

Do you respond to comments? why/why not? I try! I usually try and respond to all of them, but SYoNR kind of explodes and if I tried to reply to EVERYONE I wouldn't have time to write the fic. Sorry ;A; but I do love them all!!

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Absolutely no clue. Some of those fics in there I wrote when I was 15 and lemme tell you I pay taxes now. I do not wish to take a peek at what depressed 15 year old me wrote.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Again, no clue! Yay :D

Do you get hate on fics? I've gotten a few! I mostly ignore them, and besides, I try to tag my fics as well as I can so if they hate on it, well. They still found it and read it! So I don't really care.

Do you write smut? if so, what kind? I've not written a lot of smut, but I've given it a try. I hope to get better at it but *finger guns* we shall see! svsss is kind of made for smut fics, after all.

Do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one? I do! But I haven't posted any. There was a ninja turtles/harry potter one way back when.

have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know! I've had people ask to put them on a different site but I said no.

have you ever had a fic translated? One asked to translate an original story into Russian. I don't know if they ever did it though.

have you ever co-written a fic? Yes! A transformers one we never finished, oops.

what's your all-time fave ship? This is an impossible question! I love all my ships :(

what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? "Victory by Fractions" is a hero academia fic with quirkless!Bakugo and quirk!Midoriya. It's meant to explore how fucked up their friendship can still be when the roles are reversed. Also I just love codependency and the "I'm your knight and you're my princess" vibes where said princess does NOT want to be that, actually. also it was just me going "hehe" because I haven't actually read or watched hero academia more than like up until Midoriya was given the quirk. An Experimental Fic so to speak.

what are your writing strengths? I think people have said they enjoy the humor and the character interactions? I just really love exploring how a change here or there changes dynamics.

writing weaknesses? Hmmmm probably descriptions? I dare not ask, my ego is fragile.

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? I could write it in Swedish probably but other than that I rather not risk it. Google translate only helps so much.

first fandom you wrote for? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2k3.

fave fic you've ever written? Tbh very proud of SYoNR right now. But! "Clutching Daffodils" is also a favorite of mine.

Tagging @primtheamazing and whoever else wants to do it, because this was rough. *thumbs up* good luck.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

non-con/dub-con, au (a completely different setting), having to share a bed, fake relationship, fuck or die, hanahaki

non-con: (C: Neutral. A good author might be able to sell it, but a bad one will kill it deader than dead.) I don't want to read this for a ship I'm genuinely invested in (e.g., xiyao), but I could engage with it if the endgame ship is a separate one where there is no non-con involved. Fwiw I'm separating this from rape kink scenarios where both parties have engaged in some kind of kink negotiation in advance, that is very much not non-con!

dub-con: (B: Like it. Not one of my bigger cravings, but it can scratch a certain itch if I’m in the right mood.) Sometimes you just want to read something messy. 👀

AU (completely different setting): (D: Not my favorite. I avoid it if I can, but it won’t necessarily put me off reading something.) I'm especially 'meh' on modern AUs for reasons I've discussed previously. ...or at least, I think I've discussed them previously. I know I've talked about them in one-on-one comments/DMs with other users, but The Vibes that keep me invested in the canon setting rarely translate well to modern settings. I can get behind a good transmigration AU tho. (@verdantrivers thinking specifically about our PSL thread where Bingge-flavour Luo Binghe stages his demonic invasion of the MDZS cultivation world and jgy ends up a courtier in an effort to protect lxc, that was good shit.)

having to share a bed: (B: Like it. Not one of my bigger cravings, but it can scratch a certain itch if I’m in the right mood.) oh no.... there's only one bed..... what will we do now??..... the inherent eroticism of falling asleep feeling the warmth of your soulmate's skin just right there--yeah, I fuck with it heavily. I don't necessarily seek it out on AO3 just for its own sake but I love it when it shows up in fic.

fake relationship: (A: Love it. Spend my time combing AO3 for it.) *clenches fist* it sends me.

fuck or die: (F: Hate it. Will immediately make me nope out of a fic.) like I am glad this trope exists for the people who enjoy it, but /bartleby the scrivener voice, I would prefer not to.

hanahaki: (A: Love it. Spend my time combing AO3 for it.) so I had no idea what the fuck this even was and had to google it, and now I'm genuinely obsessed with this idea??? the beautiful body horror potential, the symbolism, the cursed soulmate vibes, like 🤌 yes please. I'm going to go searching for this now.

[nyaskitten]

oh ho this will be fun, stories will be divided by ~~~'s

Well, two Skybound related ones

Well, to go with the last one. Jay and Cole meet someone who has a lead to missing Wu and they just so happen to be a pirate. Poor Jay has a nasty flashback to skybound and he can't get himself to talk to Cole about it. He thinks he should say anything about it without checking with Nya since she knows about it too.

So Cole invites her, to at least comfort Jay about this specific thing, and hopefully talk about the stuff. And then it would be almost a recap thing for a bit with way more emotion. Especially with Cole hearing how he reacted to basically giving Jay to the spider by himself.

~~~

Jay and Nya wish to find a excuse to go to the lighthouse without talking about the timeline so they can get Echo. And they find a way, also bringing Zane very intentionally. Not for them as siblings but to have him x-ray the place and discover the room "himself" as the excuse to open the room.

~~~

now two Hunted ones, but during the season

Kai is feeling a bit unneeded during the situation without his power, especially as a big part of himself. And wishes he didn't help Lloyd before they teleported to the other realm since he needs his own powers now, and also guilty feeling that as well.

Jay helps him out by letting feel what he needs about the power given to Lloyd but to also let him know he can do what he is able to without the element since he is a lot past the fire.

~~~

And this one is super simple, but it's Cole having his fear of dragons bubble back up in the relam with them in a more "violent" state the their own pet dragon back home.

I never think about this story thou. So I got no comfort buddies for him in this fic concept

~~~

Thinkfast Hanahaki

I have a entire half a google page about this idea. They deserve their own ask

~~~

And I feel a bit shy about this one but.... Vinny going to his first queer parade and finding Gayle as well and they spend the day together

~~~

And then of course, my side blog only ideas I cannot easily talk about on main .///.

WHOAHHH I LOVEEE THEESE !!!!!!

[ajaxhearts]

Petals & Tears, Throughout The Years. - KSM

Talented, academically independent, has a sense of humor and hangs out with the right kind of people. That's who I like. If you were to ask me why, I wouldn't be able to respond; because honestly, I have no idea. It just… happened.

The first time I saw him, he had his signature cup of coffee in his hand. A few weeks had passed after this and well, I eventually found him attractive; without a reason. I mean, there has to be one right? Apparently, I just can't point it out.

It really was just a spontaneous crush, until I realized I was slowly falling in love. Funny thing is though, I always tell myself he doesn't feel the same way. Since I never get that feeling of adoration from him. I never feel that he has some kind of romantic intention in doing the things he does for and to me. But, It’s fine.

“Heya!” I called out to him. It was after school hours so of course, I’d be in hopes that I’d see him near the school gates, waiting for his parents to fetch him. 

“Hey y/n!” he replied. Small interactions like these make my heart skip a little. I know it’s just a simple hi-hello, but having a crush really changes the normal things and ways friends or acquaintances would do. 

“Are you headed home yet?” He continued. Why the sudden ask? Whenever I’d say hi to him, he doesn't have any follow ups. 

Interesting.

“Probably, but I am kind of hungry so maybe I’ll get something to eat before I leave.” 

“Ah. I see.”

“Do you wanna get something to eat? I can just message my parents and let them know were heading somewhere.” 

Sorry, what? Why is he asking me this? 

“Hello? Earth to y/n?”

“Oh sorry. Sure, I’d love to.”

Obviously you’d love to. Crazy girl.

And as expected, we ate together at his favorite restaurant.

“Hi, good afternoon. Welcome to KFC, what can I get for you both?”

“I’ll have a bowl of mushroom soup and flavor shots, thank you!”

Ah. My favorite combo.

“And I’ll have a zinger chicken and iced tea please.”

“Alright then, I’ll get back to you when I have your food.” Two hours had passed, eating while talking about the little things and drama we both had. It’s times like these when you really get to appreciate your friends and the people you hold dear to you.

Wait. ‘Friends’?

My chest tightens. 

“Give me a sec, I’ll head to the bathroom real quick.”

“Alrighty,”

I open the bathroom door and stay by the sink, feeling like I’m being choked. I start coughing out of nowhere and my breath hitches. I close my eyes and the next thing I see when I open them is blood all over the sink. Flower petals along with it. 

“Lilies?”

I clean myself up, head out of that bathroom and ask for a glass of water.

I’m so confused? Why’d I start coughing up blood along with Lily petals and why’d it hurt so much?

I had no idea what was happening. Despite what happened, I pretended like nothing did, and continued to talk with him until we both needed to head home. Exchanging our farewells, I made my way back home.

I needed to know what was happening and I needed to know now. 

How stupid of me to want to know what was happening.

I arrive, dashing to my computer to search up what I experienced. 

“Hanahaki? What is that?” I decided to continue searching and found out what it was. 

‘Hanahaki Disease is a disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love, or if the victim believes that their beloved does not reciprocate the same feelings. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear.”

“What…?”

Is this all because I keep telling myself that he doesn’t feel the same?

“Hah…” I let out a pained chuckle, not believing this stupid Google search.

If it were real, wouldn’t I have heard stories about it already? This is all fake.

Still not believing what I read, I prepared myself to go get a well-deserved good night's rest. 

I wonder what he’s doing…

Seungmins POV:

It’s a weekend. One’s most favorite day in a week. Well, for me at least. I get up and take a look at my side table, seeing my favorite Lilies sitting in their vase ever-so gracefully. I then prepare myself for breakfast. I can already smell my mother’s delicious cooking from up here.

“Son! The food is ready! Come down anytime!”

“Coming, mom!” 

Dashing down the stairs, I can smell the enticing aroma of my mother’s signature dish. Oh how I love waking up to this every morning. Eating quickly and savoring its flavor, I am definitely satisfied. I thank her for the food, and head back to my room.

Now that I think about it, what is y/n doing?

“Ugh, get her out of your head! She doesn’t like you.”

 Moving on from my thoughts I open my pc to play video games, as usual.

Maybe she’s up for a few rounds? No, you’re playing video games to get your mind off her, dimwit.

Whatever that stupid inside voice says. Ugh. 

4 Hours had passed and boy am I tired. I plop myself onto my bed and start scrolling through my phone, whilst getting a notification from someone I did not want to talk with right now.

Y/N Sent you a message: “Hellur hellur. What are you doing?”

You replied: Nothing much. Wanna get some rest though, been playing video games for hours on end.

Y/N: And you had the nerve not to invite me? Jerk!

You: Well geez, sorry!

Y/n: PFFTTTT I’m just kidding, beztie.

You: Whatever you say, little-miss-perfect.

Seungmin has gone offline.

Y/N: HEY WHAT DID U JUST CALL ME 

Y/N: KIM SEUNGMIN ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW

Y/N: WHAT THE HELL MAN

Y/N has gone offline.

I love playing tricks on her, you’re right. However, it’s a different story when it’s the other way around. Sure, her tricks are cute but that doesn’t excuse the fact they’re annoying. But I guess it’s fine because it’s her we're talking about, right?

Seungmin. For the love of God, stop thinking about her. She doesn’t like you!!!!!

‘Ding!’ Y/N just posted a photo. 

“Oh new pic, let me see.”

Captioned: I haven’t been single for a week, I think I slayed.

“WHAT. THE. hell.”

Seungmin has gone online.

You: Y/N WHAT

You: WHAT THE HELL

You: YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND?????

You: HELLO???

Delivered.

“Sigh.”

Seungmin has gone offline.

“She’s ghosting me, that’s a first.”

“Ouch y/n, you had the nerve not to tell me sooner?”

Something crystalline falls to the floor and shatters.

"Ah."

Just like the way she shattered my heart.

That was the last time I ever talked to her.

A few years later

Walking down the street, I bump into something- no someone.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry. Here, let me help.” They offer. I hear them pick up my cane and feel them hand it back to me.

“Thank you.” 

“I’m so sorry sir! I didn’t see you.”

That voice…

“Y/N?”

“You know my name?”

Wait a second….

“Seungmin?!”

She retorts and embraces me as my glasses fall down.

“I haven’t seen you in years!”

“Same here, y/n..”

“Oh yeah! I completely forgot to show you this picture I found! It was us back in high school.”

I hold up the phone to Seungmins face.

"We look so young!"

“Y/N…. I can’t see.

END.

dt: @sweetrabbit

A/N: hellur everyone i am back after how many months dshgb,sjdjas hope u enjoy this little comeback fic :P

[gyusbambi]

red petals; kim sunwoo (1)

genre: angst, hanahaki disease, unrequited love, college au, introvert!reader

synopsis: with everyday you feel your love for him growing. so do the flowers in your lungs. and you can‘t do anything but discover a new flower each day.

warnings: angst, suicidal thoughts, disfunctional family

in which you are deeply in love with kim sunwoo, who happens to be interested in your friend.

daffodils are the first flowers you coughed up.

long, slender petals in a beautiful shade of yellow. inner ones formed into a trompet-shaped tube, the flower appears pretty to everyone. people don‘t seem to care about the symbolic meanings of each flower. instead, they are interested in the beauty of it. its color, shape, smell.

however, you dislike daffodils. the latin name for it is narcissus. the flower is named after a beautiful greek god, who was arrogant. he rejected all romantic advances and fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. however, he drowned trying to capture his reflection. therefore, the flowers on the riverbed are called after him: narcissus. apparently, the heads of daffodils can be compared to narcissus bending down to observe himself on the water.

needless to say, you make a lot of research of the flowers you cough up. finding out that daffodils can be symbolized as unrequited love, makes a lot of sense to you.

unrequited love is the reason for your hanahaki disease.

_

everything started in your second semester of college when your roommate kara decided to introduce her friend group to you, someone who appears quiet and shy.

although you’re an introverted person, you were able to open up to your new friend group. eric, mina, haknyeon and juyeon.

however not to kim sunwoo.

no matter how much you try to open up and talk to him, you fail every time.

blushing, shifting gaze, slightly trembling hands, dry mouth.

whenever the boy talks to you, you shrug, shake your head or nod an answer instead of actually speaking. sometimes you hesitantly offer an opinion or answer question to avoid awkwardness.

don’t get me wrong. it’s definitely not because you dislike kim sunwoo. quite the opposite! for some reason, you feel a little too attracted to the college student. just the sight of him makes your heart beat a little faster. now and then you have eye contact, which leads you to look away after only milliseconds, eyes looking for an object to focus on. wavy, dark hair slightly covering his beautiful round eyes makes you completely nervous. afraid that you’ll say or do something dumb or embarrassing, you usually keep silent. therefore, your bond with him isn’t as strong as the ones with the others.

on the other hand, you enjoy eric’s presence since the young boy is extremely energetic and really fun to be around with. eric made you open up by starting conversations with you when nobody else was giving their attention to you. as the others were laughing about something, the young boy noticed that you haven’t spoken a word and suddenly started talking to like you were his best friend.

little do you know, sunwoo wonders why you are comfortable around everyone besides him.

like how you are currently walking home after a long night of studying. the night sky is pitch-black, stars almost invisible. you feel the old air hit your face as you feel sunwoo’s warm hand slightly brush against yours. instantly your cold cheeks heat up due to the sudden contact of his skin with yours and you feel your hand tingle.

instead of looking up to observe his reaction, you don’t advert your gaze from the ground, too scared to look into his eyes. although you don’t even dare to take a quick glimpse, you know that he looks insanely good at that moment. his puffer jacket fading in the darkness, his other hand in his pocket, curls covering his forehead, tanned skin glowing under the moonlight. if only you had the guts to talk to him.

however, thankfully the boy himself moves his head to face you only to observe your small figure quietly walking next to him. sunwoo thinks you’re too engrossed into your own thoughts, not paying attention to your surroundings. not paying attention to the rest of the group walking in front of you, while the both of you walk in a slower path. indeed, the boy is anything but used to being alone with you. therefore, he takes this as an opportunity to talk to you.

“you good?”

his sudden deep voice brings you back to reality and you give him a short side glance before looking ahead of you again. sunwoo is surprised to actually hear your voice instead of getting a simple nod as a response.

“yeah. i’m just a little tired.”

in contrast to his, your voice sounds small and soft. attempting to meet your eyes, sunwoo nudges your side playfully with his elbow. “relax a little. you always study until you doze off.”

laughing at his statement, you finally meet his eyes and shrug before answering. “they only pick the best students for the bachelor specializations.”

when your eyes meet sunwoo’s he feels relief and comfort. the young boy is amazed by your shining eyes under the moonlight as he offers you a genuine smile, eyes still focused on yours.

“you already do well in everything, thought...”

you notice sunwoo trailing off and his eyes glancing around the park you’re passing by, before his gaze lands on you again.

“except botany.”

both of you say the same words at the same time causing you to laugh.

“i don’t know. it’s just not interesting to me?”

for some reason you seem a little less shy than usual today, which enables you to have a normal conversation with sunwoo.

“well, if you help me with microbio i could help you with botany.”

sunwoo shrugs, hands still in his jacket pockets. it is true that kim sunwoo has a deep interest for botany. everyone in your friend group knows that the young boy likes learning about several plants, whereas you find it boring and unnecessary. 

however, before you can agree to his suggestion, kara turns around swiftly to face both of you. gesturing to the dorms, the girl pouts lightly. “it’s time to separate our ways.”

“see you in the library tomorrow.” sunwoo mumbles when kara pulls him into a tight hug. 

rapidly you look away, eyes trying to focus on anything but your two friends next to you. eventually your gaze lands on eric, who’s already looking at you with an unreadable expression. soon enough he pats your shoulder as he chuckles. “sleep well. tomorrow’s going to be a long day.”

“you too.” 

smiling, you wave at your friend before you turn your head to catch a glimpse of sunwoo glancing at you. thinking he won’t say anything anyway, your feet start moving towards kara, who’s saying goodbye to the others. 

“y/n!”

sunwoo calling your name makes you stop immediately, heart pounding a little faster than normal. with curious eyes you turn around and are met with sunwoo waving at you, a small smile forming on his lips. 

“rest well. and let’s talk more.”

suddenly your body feels like its frozen on spot, no single muscle able to move. it’s stupid how you can’t do anything but blink a few times, clearing your throat to give him a response. however, your throat feels dry and your nervousness makes it impossible for you to form actual words. instead, you nod shyly, waving at him one last time before your roommate grips your arm, pulling you towards the dorms. 

kara is already sleeping peacefully while you face your reflection in the bathroom, hand clasping your throat as you feel burning pain in your whole chest and throat area. frowning you reach for a glass of water, hoping that the pain would vanish. 

however, it only starts hurting more causing you to squat down on your spot. probing the pained area while wincing, you wonder what could be the cause for this horrible burning and itching. 

when you eventually feel like you’re going to throw up, you quickly grab an empty bucket. completely shocked by what came out of your mouth, your glassy eyes are now widen as you lean back, hand covering your mouth. in order to keep quiet, you try to avoid loud coughing. 

the empty bucket is now filled with countless yellow petals. 

flowers?

head tilting to the side, you open your mouth but can’t speak. the whole situation seems entirely absurd and confusing to you. maybe it’s a dream?

but you know it isn’t a dream when you google “coughing flowers” only to find out that it is an actual disease called “hanahaki”. 

and you suffer from it because of unrequited love.

_

to be continued.

[hyunverse]

words doesn’t matter | gojo satoru

genre; bittersweet, angst with a happy ending. occasional fluff.

gender neutral.

warnings; mention of blood and vomit.

owner's note; an oomf from twitter requested this ^^ feedbacks wud be very much appreciated

y/n never understood their feelings for gojo satoru. they're best friends, they had been for the longest time. you see, it's not easy for gojo satoru to have loyal friends who could tolerate him. they're always saying, "oh he's too cocky", and "he's a brat!". y/n however, finds his teasing and self confidence rather amusing. gojo satoru's little antics such as poking their cheeks and saying "i'm the best!" are what made y/n stuck around.

being friends for so long, y/n thought their feelings for gojo was platonic. surely it's normal for a friend to stare at their friend's eyes a second longer right? gojo's eyes are a pretty shade of blue; or shall i say shades of blue. y/n could see an entire ocean in his eyes, there's no need to search up pacific ocean on google. who wouldn't want to stare at those eyes of his? y/n loves how the sun makes his eyes glow and the way his pink lips curve when he smiles. honestly, they love every single little detail about gojo satoru that to others, it's odd.

it wasn't until they started coughing up flowers when y/n realized just how whipped and in love they were for their best friend.

y/n remembers the day they found out about their hanahaki disease like yesterday; how they coughed up flowers on their apartment floor after a phone call with gojo. they looked up their bizarre disease due to their fear of operation. 

hanahaki disease, a disease where patient will suffer from coughing up flowers due to unrequited love. the only cure being the loved one reciprocating their feelings.

despite the bitter aftertaste in y/n’s throat everytime they cough up flowers or how there would be blood mixed with the pretty violet flowers, it’s not the physical pain that hurts them the most. it’s how the hanahaki disease reminds them of the fact that gojo satoru does not love them back; probably never will.

gojo’s hair looks magical under the moonlight. the man lays on a king-sized bed, his hair sprawled on a pillow. moonlight seeps in through the sliding door, being the only source of light in the hotel room. being the most powerful sorcerer; he’s always travelling for work hence why time spent with y/n are always valued by him. 

“i missed you”, y/n says against the phone, their hand holding onto the phone tightly.

gojo’s heart skips a beat. he clears his throat and hums against the phone, “who wouldn’t?”. what he means to say is, “i miss you too”, but the words couldn’t seem to come out. he covers the receiver on the hotel phone before letting out a sigh then pulls his hand away.

the two talk for hours, enjoying each other’s company. y/n glances at a photo frame on their nightstand, smiling at the picture of them and gojo together. they could feel their throat growing uncomfortable, but they pushed the sensation away in order to talk to the white haired man.

“the moon looks beautiful tonight”, gojo says, looking out at the balcony. the moon looks exceptionally bright tonight, as if to mirror the calmness in his heart.

what he means to say is, “i love you”, but too bad for gojo, his best friend didn’t quite get that.

y/n on the other line hums, “yeah. so bright, i love it”, they say, fingers fiddling around with the telephone chord, “you sound sleepy, satoru. you should go to sleep”. 

“yeah, i really should”, gojo mutters, fluttering his eyes close. he rolls to his side, grunting lightly when he feels the emptiness of the other side. that’s when the man starts imagining having y/n by his side.

“i’ll end the call t-”

“no”, gojo answers, his eyes feeling even heavier now. “keep talking, it’s okay. you can put it down when i fall asleep”.

so y/n stays on the line, talking about how their day went as gojo listens intently. slowly but surely, his exhaustion fades away at the sound of y/n’s voice, as though their voice is his antidote. he suddenly forgets the feeling of loneliness he felt just a few minutes ago.

approximately five months after, gojo and y/n are sitting on his rooftop. y/n’s hanahaki disease have gotten worse now, but they successfully managed to hide it from gojo.

“i can’t believe you had to move”, y/n sighs, eyes still fixed up on the sky above. the clouds move in a hypnotizing way, sure to calm people down but it’s different for y/n. the uneasy feeling in their heart just won’t go.

“yeah, i’m far away from you now.”, gojo mutters, pulling y/n closer towards his body. 

his words are genuine, and his vulnerability is practically spilling out from his body. there’s no hesitance in his movements, since gojo had decided that it’s now or never. he either tells his feelings now or he might never get to tell them ever, due to his crazy schedule.

y/n rests their head on gojo’s shoulder, their muscles instantly loosening. they feel safe in gojo’s arms and it’s not because of the strength the man has; it’s a matter of trust. y/n would go as far as trusting gojo with their life; and it hurts how gojo probably doesn’t feel the same. 

gojo looks down at y/n’s face, his lips itching to meet theirs. feeling gojo’s gaze on theirs, y/n looks up to see gojo staring right down at them. driven by the tension surrounding them, gojo is quick to pull his blindfold down, revealing his ice blue eyes. 

“satoru? are you o-”, y/n is cut off by a pair of warm lips meeting theirs and gojo wrapping his strong arms around their figure.

the pair’s lips move in sync, and so does their body. at that very moment y/n understands what it means by how sometimes words doesn’t matter; for gojo’s actions explains how he feels more than his words ever could. 

[your-average-weeb-dealer]

HᴀɴᴀHᴀᴋɪ

ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀs ɪɴ ᴛʜɪs ᴘᴏsᴛ: ɪᴛᴀᴅᴏʀɪ ʏᴜᴜᴊɪ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴇɢᴜᴍɪ ғᴜsʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ

anime: Jujutsu Kaisen style: headcannons genre: angst Warnings: HanaHaki disease- (blood, death, coughing up petals, throwing up petals, mentions of severe pain, unrequited love)

{HanaHaki disease} An illness made from unrequited love. The victim will cough and throw up petals, blood and even whole flowers until the person they are in love with returns their love. If not returned, then the victim will die as the flowers will fill up their lungs.

Iᴛᴀᴅᴏʀɪ Yᴜᴜᴊɪ ... 赤いバラ 

He’d be absolutely heart broken

From the moment he started coughing up petals he knew what it meant

He read a lot of Manga, and he’d read a few Shōjo mangas

But it was always the main character who got HanaHaki disease, it was never the love interest-

Oh...

You were the love interest, not him 

Does that mean that... you don’t love him? HanaHaki only happens to people who experience unrequited love...

No it can’t be, you have to love him! You have to! This isn’t real, it’s all in his head. That’s right! he’s dreaming he must be dreaming 

The only problem with that thought, is that in dreams you can’t feel pain, 

God, he could feel this

He could feel every petal inside his lungs, every vine twisting around his stomach,

 he had been unfortunate enough to have roses, red roses, but the color didn’t really matter to him. The only thing that mattered was getting rid of the flowers

The thorns weren’t sharp enough to stab him or pierce anything, they only caused more discomfort 

He didn’t tell anyone, not because he didn’t want help. But because he knew the elders would only leave him to die- not caring about how painful his death would be 

Sukuna would also find the situation annoying but he didn’t have to deal with it (because he’s almost never in control of itadoris body), he’d constantly mock him though, telling him every reason why you don’t love him as he’s gagging and choking on petals 

He’d tell you how he felt, he just needs this pain to go away 

Iᴛ ᴄᴀɴ ɢᴏ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴡᴀʏs

{ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ʜɪs ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢs}

He’s whole world will come back, everything felt so much more alive. He’s lungs felt so clean, all the petals were gone. And better yet, you love him. He’ll spend every living, breathing second he has being around you. From now on you’ll never have to worry about getting hurt, because he owes you, you love him and now he’s going to protect you. 

{ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ʜɪs ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢs} 

He’ll start balling, not in front of you. But he’ll run to the bathroom as he feels his lungs overflowing, the sharp thorns poking at his insides, but when they came out of his mouth they were white lilies. Whole flowers game gushing out of his mouth along with blood. But no physical pain can match the feeling of knowing that the only reason you’re dying, is because one person in particular didn't love you. That was the last thing that Itadori thought about.

 Mᴇɢᴜᴍɪ Fᴜsʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ... 白いユリ

He’ll deny that it’s even happening

If he just pretends it isn’t there, then it’ll go away, right?

No matter how many inconveniences it causes him, no matter how many late nights he spends throwing up petals, no matter how much it hurts. He’s going to deny everything 

He didn’t know what was happening to him at first, it took several google searches for him to even find out what HanaHaki disease was

after he found out what was going on, that’s when he started ignoring you

Which only made everything worse

The more he ignored you, the more he thought about you, the more he coughed up petals

It got so bad in fact, that just reading your name would make him go into a coughing fit

Then he’d muster up the courage to talk to you. Talk to you, not tell you.

Yeah there’s no way in hell he’d telling you that he has an unexplainable illness that the only cure to is you loving him

And somehow it got worse after that 

As if he couldn’t get you off his mind before, now your words are stuck in an infinite repeat in his head

Even though it was literally just “hi,”. Your voice just echoed in his ears

 he wasn’t even sure if he remembered what it sounded like, it had been ringing in his ears for so long. But he knew it was your voice

And that just made things ten times worse 

he spent full hours in the bathroom, coughing full flowers, blood and petals 

He’d try to opt for surgery, but no one would operate on someone so young 

The only solution was to tell you, but can he do it?

Tʜʀᴇᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ

{ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ʜɪs ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢs} 

He’ll wonder why he was so worried, he told you and you accepted! How awesome is that? After that he’s going to be like your personal cuddle buddy, he never wants to let you go. He finally got the person he’d dreamed about, the perfect y/n was his s/o. After all the pain he went through just to be with you, you better not let him go either.

{ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ʜɪs ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢs}  

Now he understands why he didn’t want to do it. Everything went by in a flash, head spinning; he stumbled into the bathroom. Feeling his lungs compress, body shake he let out what he knew would be his last words.

“I still love you, y/n. Even though it kills me,”

{ʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ'ᴛ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ} 

Megumi isn’t a coward. He knows he isn’t. But he doesn’t want to imagine the look on your face when he tells you that he’s coughing up flowers because he thinks/knows you don’t love him back. He’ll sit in his room, with a bucket, holding a picture you took together at an event, and he’ll converse. Tears mix with the blood pooling down his face, full flowers, petals along with leaves pouring out of his mouth. He screamed, he didn’t care who heard, this was his final moment. If all Jujutsu Sorcerers die with regrets, then Megumis was that he never told you how he felt.

Yeah, I’m crying too :’) 

[pies-writes-and-more]

hello :)

do you know what the hanahaki disease is? if so, could you write the hanahaki trope with iwaizumi where he thinks you like oikawa but finds himself in love w you? I'm a sucker for angst with happy endings

pairing: iwaizumi hajime x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of throwing up flowers, having trouble breathing, coughing, etc, also potentially bad writing because i wrote this at work and did not proofread im so sorry lol

a/n: omg i'm finally getting to this i'm so sorry i wanted to do this perfectly LOL for those of you who don't know (like myself before i googled haha), the Hanahaki disease is a fictional disease that grows a flower/plant in your body when you are experiencing unrequited love. some say it only happens when you think the love is unrequited (so that's what I used here!). this was a super cool request anon so thank you so much for requesting! again, i'm so sorry for taking so long on this haha i wanted it to be perfect! Enjoy!!

haikyuu masterlist

It started with just a petal.

One stupid petal that freaked Iwaizumi out more than anything else.

He felt something caught in his throat one day at practice and tried to chug some water down to make it go away. Only for him to end up choking on whatever it was and having to rush to the bathroom to splutter it out.

A stupid singular petal.

He glared at it, rolling his eyes as he squished the soft light pink coloured object in his fingers, tossing it into the garbage. He knew exactly what it meant and he didn't care.

"Iwaaa!" Oikawa came popping in, looking at his best friend curiously as he noticed the redness in Iwaizumi's cheeks. "Are you alright? Not getting sick are you?"

"I'm fine," Iwaizumi snapped, looking away from him. Why did it have to be him of all people to come check up on him? Normally, Iwaizumi would feel comforted by his best friend coming to cheer him up or make sure he wasn't throwing up bad food.

But all Oikawa's pretty face did was remind Iwaizumi of what he wasn't. Recently, Oikawa had just become a constant reminder that he could never be as good as this pretty boy, that he would always be overlooked, in the shadows of that pretty boy face.

"You seem grumpier than usual," Oikawa pointed out as the two of them walked back to the gym. "Did something happen? Is this because I took those snacks from those girls this morning? I promise I'll share them with you," Oikawa grinned, nudging his friend in the arm playfully.

"Whatever," Iwaizumi shrugged, trying to just go back to practice like nothing happened.

That was the plan, he decided as he continued on with volleyball practice. Ignore what just happened. Pretend like nothing was wrong. Go on with his life until he couldn't ignore it anymore.

He knew it was stupid - he knew this was a serious health issue, one that could potentially take him out of the running for being a main player on the team. But right now he didn't care. He didn't want to care. Because all that stupid little petal told him was that no matter how much he loved you, regardless of the fact that he had known he felt this way since he met you, you didn't feel the same way.

Why would you? With Oikawa always at his side, Iwaizumi knew he couldn't compete.

At some point, Iwaizumi wondered if the rumours about the Hanahaki disease were true. Would he really die if he just let this disease go unresolved? Would confessing his feelings to you make them go away? Would he just have to hope that you felt the same?

But time passed and the more Iwaizumi saw you and his captain interact, laughing over anything and everything, Oikawa teasing you playfully and you smacking him around, the more Iwa felt his throat start to close. It became harder and harder to hide the petals and flower buds that he was throwing up now. He just wanted to forget about it - he wanted to forget you.

He wanted to forget the feeling of falling head over heels for you, reading into every little gesture you did around him, thinking about any hidden meanings in your words. He wanted to forget.

A few online searches gave him an exit from this torturous feeling. People online mentioned that once the plant got too big for someone to properly breathe with, they got it surgically removed.

But the removal of the plant, they always cautioned, meant the removal of your feelings as well. Whatever you felt for this person would be gone, and in some cases, you would forget about them completely once you had woken up from surgery.

Iwaizumi glanced at his phone, the group chat between you, him, and Oikawa was blowing up with you two arguing over some meme catching his eye.

Maybe he didn't want to forget you completely, but he wanted to stop feeling like a third wheel so desperately, he would do anything.

It wasn't like you hadn't noticed how distant Iwaizumi had gotten over the past few weeks. He didn't seem to hang around you as much anymore, your weekly study dates seemed like they were more of a hindrance to him than anything else, so you stopped begging him to help you out.

Maybe you had read all of the previous signs wrong, you thought. Maybe Iwaizumi didn't actually have feelings for you... maybe there was someone else.

The morning after you considered that possibility, you choked up a flower petal at breakfast and your heart sank. More weeks passed and Iwaizumi was definitely avoiding you now. Unbloomed flowers and petals greeted you every morning as if to remind you that the one guy who made you feel like your heart beat faster against your chest, might actually be the reason your heart stopped beating one day.

You hadn't seen Iwaizumi in what felt like forever, so it was only through OIkawa that you found out that the boy you were in love with was sitting in a hospital bed somewhere. The captain didn't seem to have any important details about what happened, just that Iwa was feeling sick, and you found yourself racing to the hospital. There was something wrong, it was like a gut feeling you had that you couldn't explain. Your lungs were feeling extremely tight as you ran to the nearest bus stop that could take you to the hospital, gripping your chest like your heart might explode.

You made your way through the halls, trying to remember how he seemed the last time you saw him in passing. He always seemed so pale, so tired, like he had a fever he just couldn't get rid of. Oikawa had told you he hadn't been to practice in a while because of how sick he was getting.

"Iwa!" You gaped in the doorway of his room, eyes wide as you finally laid eyes on him lying in the hospital bed. "Oikawa... he told me it was just some bad cold." Your eyes narrowed as you slowly reached his side, noting how he was avoiding your eyes. "It's not just a cold is it? You lied to the team didn't you?"

Iwaizumi wasn't sure what to say at this point. What kind of cruel universe was it that he had to deal with both the nerves of the surgery prep but also see you right before it happened? You with that worried gaze like you cared about him? You with that soft look in your eyes, and the way your fingers would brush over his hair to push it out of his face?

He knew you cared. He knew he was being cynical and rude by ignoring you these past few months. You just... never cared the way he wanted you to.

"I'm fine," he croaked out after a while but the sound in his voice and the way he started to cough afterwards, hacking for oxygen, showed you he wasn't.

"Do they know what it is?" You asked cautiously, watching as he cupped whatever it was that he coughed up in his hands and hid it in his side so you couldn't see it.

He avoided your eyes again, as if he had been so sneaky and you hadn't actually seen it, "I dunno. Got surgery later."

"S-Surgery? What kind of surgery?" You asked, your eyes darting around as if the doctors would've left some sort of note in the room for you to see.

"Dunno," he lied again, his fingers playing with the blankets, as if they were so much more interesting than the situation in front of him.

You frowned and reached over to flick him in the forehead, his eyes finally shooting up to look at you in surprise, "W-What was that for?" He yelped, a raspiness to his voice.

"Why are you lying to me, Iwaizumi?" You shot back, flicking him another time for good measure. "I-I... I thought we were close. Why would you lie to me about your health? This whole time I knew something was going on with you and I thought maybe if I gave you space you'd tell me on your own time. But you haven't! And now you're having surgery? And you're still lying to me?"

Iwaizumi watched the fire in your eyes as you scolded him, a guilt digging further into him as if the flowers in his throat had grown roots into his belly. "It's not like you can do anything about it," he mumbled quietly, slipping his gaze from yours again. Another lie, he thought to himself. If anything, you're the only one who can do something about it.

"Even if I can't, that doesn't mean you have to go through this alone! Please, Iwaizumi, I don't want to lose you," you insisted, grabbing his hand tightly.

He looked up at you in surprise, finding tears building up in your eyes as you held onto him tightly.

"I'm... I'm getting it taken out," he whispered softly, pulling his one hand out from hiding and showing you the fully bloomed flowers in his hands. They looked like they had just bloomed in the sun, as if they hadn't just been crushed in Iwaizumi's hand. They were... oddly beautiful, for something so destructive.

"O-Oh," you stammered, watching as he showed you the object of his shame. "Hanahaki..." you mumbled, eyes falling from his. "W-Well who is it?" You demanded suddenly, looking at him with a fiery determination in your eyes.

"Who?" He repeated, frowning tightly as he watched you.

"Yeah! Are you sure they don't love you back? Maybe I can get them to come and you guys can talk! Maybe they do love you, maybe you won't have to go through surgery!" You insisted, pulling out your phone and scrolling through your contacts, ready to text and/or call whoever it was that Iwaizumi loved.

You couldn't deny how harsh the blow was to your own heart. You could feel the petals tickling the back of your throat but it didn't matter. Your own feelings couldn't matter right now, not when Iwaizumi was practically dying right in front of you. You would rather die yourself, choking on the fact that he would never love you back, knowing that he was alive and happy with someone who he loved, than watch him wither away.

"No," Iwaizumi shook his head, clearing his throat as he felt it getting harder to breathe. "I... I need it out."

"But... you'll forget them," you whispered, watching how dejected he looked. "Wouldn't you rather know it was for sure? Wouldn't you rather know they didn't love you back before you completely forgot how you felt about them?"

"No! Because I don't want my last thoughts of you to be so negative!" Iwaizumi snapped at you harshly, shaking his head furiously. "I-I know it's not me. I know you don't love me. I know how you feel about Oikawa. You lying to me about how you feel won't change that! I'd rather get this cut out of me and forget that every time I see you, you're thinking about him!"

Iwaizumi's small outburst made the whole room seem so much quieter. The silence hung in the air, only his raspy breathing and coughing interrupting the awkwardness.

"I didn't want you to know," Iwaizumi finally continued as he caught his breath, his hand clutching at his chest as if it would help him breathe. "I know you're happy with him. I know you love him. And you should love him. He's... Everyone loves him. I can't give you anything that he can. You're better off with him, and I'm better off forgetting."

Your lips parted, fists clenched at your sides as you thought about the countless nights you threw up flowers into your sink, gripping the counter with tears in your eyes as you thought about just one person.

Iwaizumi Hajime.

"Are you all ready, Sir?" A nurse came in, glancing over the chart she had in her hand as she walked over. "It's time for your surgery."

It happened so much quicker than you were expecting. Doctors and nurses came to help bring Iwaizumi to the surgical room, no one listening to you as you begged for them to just hold on.

"Wait a damn minute!" You finally screamed loud enough for them to hear you as Iwaizumi's bed reached the door. "J-Just wait for god's sake!" You huffed, glaring at the medical professionals as they all looked at you.

"Y/N, it's okay," Iwaizumi insisted but your glare silenced him almost immediately.

"You little shithead!" You yelled at him, tears starting to spill from your eyes. "You would rather go through a surgery and forget about me than look me in the eyes and tell me how you feel? You fucking idiot! I've spent months hiding all my symptoms, stuffing flowers and petals and leaves into any spare pockets I could find or into my bags so you wouldn't see. Why didn't you just tell me? You think I went to all of your practice games just to see Oikawa get flirted with with a bunch of high school girls? You think I spent all those nights, videochatting with you and working through homework together because I was in love with your best friend? I love you, Hajime! It's always been you!"

The silence in the air this time was even more awkward for the professionals standing around, shuffling their feet as they shared confused looks of so do we bring him for surgery or?

Iwaizumi shifted in his bed, this time not feeling like something was rooted in his body, keeping him stiff. He looked at you with wide eyes, trying to grip onto every word you just said to him.

"M-Me?" He managed to get out, his voice just a little clearer, the oxygen around him feeling that much easier to breathe.

"Yes you, you idiot," you sighed, shaking your head as you frowned at him. "If you... If you had just told me. You wouldn't have gone through all this."

"Well you didn't tell me either," Iwaizumi grumbled, giving an awkward smile to the doctors around him. "I... I feel a bit better now." He admitted to them and they all just laughed, shifting his bed back to the original place in the room.

"I-I'm sorry for my outburst!" You apologized quickly to them all, bowing as far as you could whilst standing.

"No apology needed, Miss," one of them insisted while another nurse explained to Iwaizumi what would happen now.

"-take some time for it to clear up because of how bad it got. But we'll keep you here to monitor you for a bit and then you should be able to leave in a few days, if not tomorrow."

Iwa nodded slowly, sheepishly thanking them as one by one the doctors left and suddenly it was just you two left in the room.

"Say it again," he mumbled as the air settled.

You looked over at him in surprise, finding his eyes eagerly watching you, "W-What?"

"Say it again. I want to hear you say it again," Iwaizumi insisted, shifting a bit on the bed as if to make room for you.

Your whole face was warm with embarrassment, the fact that you had just shouted your confession at him and a whole team of medical staff was very much so not what you had wanted to do. But you sat with him, holding his hand in yours and squeezing gently, "It's always been you, Iwaizumi Hajime," you smiled. "I've always loved you."

Iwaizumi watched your eyes, as if still unsure if you were telling the truth or not. He let his fingers intertwine with yours, his gaze moving to your hands - it felt like a dream, finally holding yours in his.

"I wish you had just told me," you huffed after a moment, glaring at him playfully. "If you had told me, I wouldn't be throwing up every morning."

"Hey! You could've told me too!" Iwaizumi insisted, grabbing a nearby cup of water and downing it for the first time without feeling like something was clogging his throat.

You shook your head, "It's not like I didn't try to hint it to you! Even Oikawa practically spilled it to you that one day when he was talking about me getting a boyfriend!"

Iwaizumi's brow creased as he thought back to that conversation, you swatting at Oikawa's head and telling him if he didn't shut up, you'd make him shut up forever. He had always thought it was just a flirtatious fight between the two of you.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I'm sure I don't look like a very attractive partner right now, in a hospital gown," Iwaizumi sighed, leaning back in the pillow as he felt his body slowly start to recuperate.

"You look oddly handsome for someone who's been feeling that sick for so long," you teased, playing with his fingertips.

"Maybe.... after I get out... we can go on a proper date," Iwaizumi offered slowly, shyly looking up at you like he was making sure you weren't going to reject him.

"Sounds fun! Oh... but Iwa?"

"Mm?"

"Please don't bring me flowers."

Iwaizumi's laugh seemed so much more lively than it had in the past few weeks, his face slowly gaining more colour, "Alright. No flowers."

haikyuu masterlist (let me know if you’d like to join!)

@sgue0s @aurumk @neko-chii1 @thisnoodlewritesao3 @satan-ruler-of-hells @trashy-simp @jeppiet @tobi-momo @darkvadeeer @haikyuutothetop @livy384 @babyshoyo @jesssobs @b-bakana @just4readingfics @moonlightaangel @crystal-lilac @random-734

[ggukkiereads]

hi, can u please recommend fics for e2l OR comfort fics (or both cuz i’m neeeedy lol) for yoongi? i can’t seem to find many good ones :( thanks in advance!

🌷 Hi Anon, there are actually a lot of great ones! I can’t go through my other reference-slash-third side blog because I’m pressed for time, so it’s going to be a quick list. Off the top of my head: 

Enemies to Lovers | Yoongi

The Truth Between Us @gukyi @jimlingss

man, where do I start?!?! This is part of my #holygrailfics for a lot of reasons. It's a multi-verse. They go through different AUs from coffee shop to sports, to hogwarts, to mafia, to hanahaki, to android, etc. It has everything you need in an AU.  It’s a seven-chapter series so it’s a long but great read. By the time you’re done, you'll wish you could stay in this universe longer because isn’t it sad when a masterpiece fic ends? 😥

Early Shift @hobidreams

co-workers, coffee shop, yoongi always late except for one time 😉. Ah, I love this a lot. Starts with hate sex and ends with 🥰. I enjoyed this journey of theirs (please read author's ongoing yoongi drabble series too)

You Among the Others @inkofyoongi (ongoing)

e2l, tutor, ex-taehyung. This is ongoing which I read every time there is an update. Author has other great yoongi fics too! My go-to author for my yoongi needs 😍.

The Heart Holiday @vanaera (ongoing)

office au, manager yoongi, fake dating au, concept of having a Heart Holiday Leave so they have to "fake date" to get the benefits. This hasn’t been updated yet but my policy with ongoing fics is to read it now and not have a hard time catching up later on 😉

Settle Down @floralseokjin

temporary roommate au; this is one of the first fics I’ve read in this fic land so this holds a special place in my heart 🥰

Vogue @gukyi

fashion designer au. I just raved about it few days ago, anon! How could you say there aren’t any good E2L yoongi fics 😭.

Straight Shooter @snackhobi

This too! I oohed and aahed over this that it took time for me to recover from this Cyberpunk-Hitman! yoongi.

Hwasan @jeonggukkiepabo

Yoongi being the only dragon hybrid left (he rides a motorbike 😎) and YN part of the “enemy” group. . 

Other Fics that I’m listing quickly so apologies if titles didn’t link right:

Lover's Paradox @taesthetes - police au, comedy (read on mobile app)

Stages @/gukyi - neighbors to locker buddies to college classmates, bad boy yoongi

An Out of Bounds Umbrella @bubmyg - college au, basketball player, a bit e2L

Out of this World: Mercury @ddaengyoonmin - Sci-Fi

Get Jinxed @kimtaehyung - cyberpunk au, ex lovers, ex officer

Happy Halloween @whatifyoulivelikethat - bickering e2l

Thinking of You @smaubts - SMAU (social media AU)

Hell on Wheels @peekaboongi - childhood friends au, partner presentation

Sheltered Hearts @yeoldontknow - Vet Clinic AU 🥰🐶

Pour Some Sugar on Me @yoonia - baker au, this is newly released! #readwithme ✨

For comfort fics, this was ficswithluv’s category a week ago. You can check if there are yoongi comfort fics here

Please note that the fics are NOT mine. Please show these authors love by reblogging their fics, giving them feedback, and engaging in any positive interaction you can think of! 🥰

Additional note: I listed down a few E2L fics in my readings lists. Just click per month and search “enemies to lovers” or “E2L”. I try to put all the AUs/Genres per fic so it should be easy to find what you need. You can also search my fic rec blog (ggukkiereads) with “yoongi enemies to lovers” and it’ll usually show you reblogs that has E2L content. Maybe not all posts will appear (because tumblr isn't as smart as google lol), but it’ll give you enough fics to work with 😉