#i haven't been on tumblr in a couple weeks WHAT did i miss

[freckliedan]

Wait you reblogged something about dnp getting outed before the height of the careers? Did I miss something lol when were they outed

oh my god. i love that this is not something everyone knows anymore. but it's also absolutely fucking insane to me that this knowledge could potentially be lost. it's the biggest piece of context necessary for understanding them.

they were outed in 2011 on a smaller scale and again in 2012 on a massive scale, both times by the same video.

on september 17th of 2011 there was a platform wide glitch on youtube where, at random, a bunch of videos that had been uploaded and listed as private were suddenly unprivatized.

one of the videos that was unprivatized was a deeply earnest private message to dan that phil uploaded on february 13th of 2010, because dan was in india with his family and it was their first valentine's day together. there are a lot of intimate details about their early relationship in this video.

it gets called the vday or valentine's day video by phannies because it was titled ":3".

it was only up for a couple hours, but there are posts from phannies within that span. they reached out to people asking that it not be circulated with a poor cover story (that it was a prank they thought better of because it would be too mean).

people did not publicly circulate it for a period of time, but on halloween of 2012 it got posted publicly and got spread everywhere immediately. that's the second and more major outing.

in the years of like, 2013 thru the end of tatinof era at least but likely longer than that? if it got posted anywhere publicly it would get copyright struck by phil and removed. i don't have a definitive end date but the copyright strikes aren't still happening.

the leak is absolutely what lead to the peak era of dan and phil's closeting. understanding their need for control and how momentous it is that they trust us with anything requires knowledge of this context, imo.

i don't reccomend watching it. i haven't in some time.

i am open about the fact that i did watch it as a teenager in november of 2012, back when it was still circulating on tumblr. when i returned a couple weeks later to rewatch it, the entire blog i'd originally seen it on had been nuked for copyright infringement, and that wasn't uncommon for the era.

it was a really bad time in the phandom. dan briefly made a "customer service" sideblog & vehemently shut down people speculating on his sexuality/relationship with phil.

all of the archival information we have on dan and phil—the dailybooths, the formsprings, the old tweets, the videos they've taken off their channels, liveshows, vyous, etc? so much of that information was saved despite dan and phil trying to eradicate it in the immediate aftermath of the leak.

it's incredible that we still have it all, and even more incredible that images from phannie archives have made it into their videos several times from 2019 onward. their relationship with us has changed so drastically since 2012, in ways beyond what we could've imagined at the time.

yes, they were outed. that's the context for everything.

[simmerianne93]

[Simmerianne93]Portrait_poses_07

Hello everyone!!! How are you today???

Have you missed me??

I took a small break after the beautiful Valentine's collab i did with my dear friends and mates Herecirm and Simmireen (which btw if you haven't seen yet, tho I doubt it, you can find a masterpost here) but i'm back with more poses for you all.

I can't end the month of love without publishing this little pack of wedding poses that I really wanted to bring for you all.

A couple of weeks ago I saw some references in pinterest (my dear friend to have ideas) and i was like "I need them in my life", so... here you have some funny wedding portrait poses for your sims' family portraits.

Although the process has been a little odyssey, because I tried to convert the bouquets from "my wedding stories" gamepack and I failed multiple times trying to fix them (unfortunatelly there is no way for them to work good ingame xD).... I looked everywhere, and I finally found a bouquet (with the stigmata bone assign that was what i wanted) that can be used for these cute poses i'm bringing and for some other slightly more dynamic poses that i'll bring in the future (I still have a couple of references that I loved and would like to recreate them because they are fun and not the typical poses of looking statically at the camera).

Anyway, I'll leave you with the descriptions of this beautiful wedding pack, celebrating love until the end of the month:

----------

What is on it?

6 couple poses (made with a female rig and a modified male rig) + 3 all in one.

--- What do you need?

Andrew poses player

Teleport any sim by Scumbumbo or Mccc by deaderpool.

Pocci's wedding bouquet 

Instructions in the original post.

PS: tomorrow I'll be publishing my "coming soon" post, so keep an eye to take a closer look to all the packs that are coming next month.

——

TOU

Do not claim my creations as your own.

Do not re-upload or modify my creations.

Do not make money of my creations.

Do not include my creations in Mods folders to download.

Please follow my Term Of Use.

——

Download it now here — [Early access until March 21 st, 2024]

——————

If you want to support me:  Patreon | Ko-fi

All my poses overview: Pinterest |  Wix | Tumblr

More in-game preview pics of all my poses: Instagram

My socials: Twitter |BlueSky

——————

I really hope you like them and I will say in advance: Thank you so much for use them.

@ts4-poses

[nova-is-a-writer-now]

Hidden Embers

Series summary: You return to your home state the summer after graduating college. The relentless Texas heat, the suburban southern bubble and your treacherous relationship with your mom give you the feeling this will be a long summer. That's until Joel Miller enters the picture.

Summary: Your welcome-back party brings a re-encounter with one of your dad’s old friends, one you don’t remember looking so good.

A/N: Hello strangers, haven't seen you in a long long time. This is something that's been on the works for months now. Ideally, I wanted to put this series out when I had a good enough chunk of the story finished since I'm the most undecisive person ever. However, I wanna start posting some chapters on here as I go and then post the full completed thing on AO3. I will warn you though, it is very likely that as I write the story, I will keep on making some changes to previously posted chapters just so in the end it all makes sense and it's cohesive, I will let you guys know whenever there has been a major change. Take this as me asking the tumblr girlies to beta read this series before i publish it over on AO3. In any case, I hope the ones who decide to start reading here instead of waiting for the full thing enjoy it very much, I'm very open to suggestions, opinions and constructive critisism. :)

Warnings: Age-gap (Reader is 22, Joel is 46), Dbf!Joel, mommy issues

It was your first summer back home after graduation. The relentless Texas heat was bringing memories from your childhood that had been buried away until now, some of them felt more like dreams at this point. You had never been too good with the heat, but spending four years in chilly, gloomy New England had certainly birthed a new appreciation for it.

You weren’t sure you wanted to come back and stay for the entire summer, but your southern-to-the-core mother has a knack for getting her way. Something about “You were away for four whole years, I’m sure you can spare us a couple months before you jump right into a job in god knows where. Who knows? Maybe you’ll end up moving back and finding something around here, a nice guy to settle down with and finally get your life going.” 

God forbid. 

Naturally, in true southern fashion, your parents had to make your graduation celebration a neighborhood affair. A big barbeque, with all the nice people your parents grew up with, went to highschool and college with, who married and had kids with each other. People who haven’t, a day in their lives, given a single thought to what might exist outside of their perfect suburban bubbles. 

You weren’t trying to act ungrateful – it was a celebration of one of your most important milestones after all. People were coming together to congratulate you and your achievements. But if it were up to you, none of them would have been invited and you wouldn’t have celebrated it like this. Honestly, you missed the trips you used to take with your dad as a kid, all the way out in the countryside. Just the two of you for a week during the summer, staying in an old cabin that creaked and shook whenever your steps were too heavy. You don't remember why you stopped going, but you wished you still did. It would have been a much nicer celebration.

None of today’s guests knew you as anything other than your parent’s daughter, the shiny new thing your mother was choosing to show off. You knew that’s how it was gonna be the second your mother told you there was no point in attending your college’s graduation party, why would you when they could make you your own celebration back home with all the nice neighborhood people instead of a room full of strangers?

Your dad had good intentions, you knew that… deep, deep down. But it had always just been the three of you, and even when it was blatantly obvious your mother was in the wrong, even when there was no way of justifying her behaviors, he still stood behind her, echoing her words. 

And that's how you ended up here, prepping food for your own graduation barbeque, decorating your own garden, cleaning up your own house so it would be sparkly clean for people you hadn’t seen in well over a decade. It’s what a “Do it for me, i’ll make it up to you I promise. The community is just really important to your mom” from your dad gets out of you. 

You had probably been looking at yourself for a good twenty minutes now. Nothing you tried on felt quite right. It was either too formal, too casual, too revealing or too childish. This was a direct consequence of moving out of the south at the ripe age of 10; No one in Virginia taught you how one was supposed to dress for a neighborhood barbeque. 

Last minute you land on a blue sundress, delicate white flowers scattered around, long enough to cover your knees but not long enough to make you look like you just walked out of Sunday school. You took that as a win. 

At the sound of your mother loudly complaining about no one in the household ever helping (a comment undoubtedly directed at you), you decide to drag yourself downstairs. The sooner you get this party started, the sooner you could be done with it.

Rushing down the stairs, distractedly gathering your hair up with a tie, you unexpectedly bump into something – or rather someone.  

"Easy. Watch your step, kid. Where's the fire?"

That familiar voice… same old Joel Miller. A few more grays overpowering the darkness of his hair, a couple more wrinkles here and there and a deeper tan painting his skin a more caramel-y shade. But it was still him. 

You knew very little about Joel, just that he was your dad’s best friend for as long as you could remember. The periodic phone calls they filled with hour-long football discussions, the christmas cards exchanged and birthday wishes texted. You remember him being around the house a lot before moving out of Texas, although the specifics of it escape your memory.

Now he’s standing right in front of you, firm hands holding you by your arms to make sure you won't lose your balance, and you’re faced with the fact that twenty-two-year-old you might be seeing Joel Miller through a different lens. 

Your brain isn’t really doing what it’s meant to do, which in this exact moment would be produce an acceptable response for the six-foot-something man with broad shoulders, dark brooding eyes and a musky, woody scent that made you wanna… No. Focus.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t even see you there… I didn’t think anyone would arrive until five.” you finally reply to his expectant stare. 

“No need to be sorry.” He says back, letting go of your arms once he’s sure you’re able to stand on your own. “Well, welcome home. Haven’t seen you since you were running around in mermaid tees” 

Yeah, now seemed like the right time to look for a hole in the ground to crawl into. 

“Oh, that’s not fair, I grew out of my mermaid phase long before we moved.  I was well into boyband territory last time you saw me” you try to joke your way through the conversation, hoping the burning sensation crawling up to your cheeks isn’t as obvious as it feels. 

The embarrassment of the moment would have churned your insides for much longer if Joel's mouth hadn't quirked up in a charming smirk, so captivating it was hard to believe he wasn't aware of its effect. 

That on its own was already causing some conflicting feelings to boil up inside you, but then he had the nerve to let out a small chuckle he seemed to have been trying to hold back. He was chuckling... Texas’ resident grump was chuckling at your joke, which wasn't even that funny if we’re being fully earnest. Why did you like that thought so much?

You were about to say something, anything really, in a shameless attempt to see if you could earn one more of those, when your mother's approaching voice snapped you out of the haze.

“Are you gonna make me drag you in here, or will you do me the courtesy of helping out... Oh, goodness me! Joel! I didn’t hear you come in, you’re here early.” She switched gears faster than a professional racer. Suddenly, she was back to being the neighborhood’s sweetheart, her voice dripping with that sickly sweet drawl.

“Yes, ma’am. Sorry for the intrusion,” Joel replies, slipping back into his usual, almost stiff demeanor. Whatever new side you had seen of him a second ago was quickly gone. “Hank asked me to drop by a bit earlier to bring him the grill. Said mine’s better suited for the amount of meat he’s buying.”

“Oh, how that man refuses to listen. I told him we didn’t need that much meat. I'm making a whole lotta side dishes,” she whines, waving her hand dismissively. “Well, I guess everyone will be taking leftovers home then. Hank went over to the store to grab me some stuff I was missing. He should be back in a heartbeat.” She glances back at you and, in that passive-aggressive tone that almost anybody else would miss, said, “Well, sweetheart, don’t just stand there. Go help Joel unload his grill and show him what a good host you are.” 

It was only your third day back home. Somehow, four years of freedom had made living in this household even more unbearable. 

Smile, turn around, walk away. Choose your peace, choose your peace, choose your peace.

Heavy footsteps echo yours all the way to the garage, where Joel's truck waited. You let him walk past you to unlock the tailgate. “Your mom hasn’t changed one bit, has she?” Joel says distractedly while grabbing some metal pieces that looked like parts of his grill. 

“Oh, if you only knew.” you say back, trying your best to conceal the sharpness of your tone. 

He hands you the cold metal parts, surprisingly lighter than you anticipated. You were convinced he only made you carry them to let you feel useful. “Believe me, I know. Known your mom since way before you were even a thought runnin’ through her head.” 

Right. ‘Cause he happens to be your parents’ age and over twice your senior. One of the many reasons why getting distracted by the way his muscles flexed while picking up the grill was so beyond wrong. 

“You uh… you still live a few houses up the street?” You asked, trying your best to redirect your reckless thoughts. 

“Same old house.” He replies with a slightly strained voice from carrying the weight. Once he set it down in the backyard, he turned around to take the pieces you were holding onto. “Renovated some of it, built a new pool out back.” 

“That sounds nice, might have to check it out sometime.” You said it without even thinking much. What compelled you to think it was acceptable to tell a man you haven't seen in over a decade you would like to ‘check out’ his pool, was beyond you.

You thought Joel would chuckle it off or maybe not even acknowledge it, which he would’ve been well within his right to do, but he looked up to you from his leaning position next to the grill and said “Yeah, I think you might.” 

You couldn’t shake off Joel’s words throughout the whole afternoon. 

First chance you got to zone out in between introductions, awkward small talk and getting asked the same thing for the thousandth time, your mind drifted back to Joel’s words. 

He was just being polite, right? He has always been a gentleman after all. Maybe it was just the southern hospitality in him, maybe he didn’t even mean it and was just trying to be nice.

Yeah, I think you might

You were most probably just reading too much into it, but the way he said it seemed like a lot more than just being polite. Or, and this is a very big possibility, it’s been way too long since you’ve let anyone take you to bed and you’re latching onto the first man who looks your way. 

You try to distract your brain with the old lady in front of you instead, who’s been chatting you up about her four cats for over fifteen minutes. She’s surprisingly nice but you think you’d be enjoying her chatter a lot more if your mind wasn’t so distracted.

She notices as much.  “You doin’ alright there, sweetheart?” 

You  brush it off as best as you can. “Oh, I'm alright. I just think the trip and the unpacking is finally catching up to me.” You stand up from the lawn chair you’d been lounging on. “I’ll go grab myself a drink, can I grab you anything?” 

She smiles sweetly up at you and replies “No, sweetness, you go ahead.” 

The chatter outside dulls out as you close the glass doors behind you. You don’t bother turning on the kitchen overhead lights, relying only on light seeping in from the back yard.

The chill from the fridge hits your chest as you crack the door open to grab a can of coke. Just as you pop the tab, a shadow leaning against the door frame makes you jump. 

“Jesus, give a girl a warning.” you say bringing your hand to your chest trying to slow your heartbeat back down. 

“Sorry darlin’, didn’t mean to scare you.” Joel's voice comes from the shadow

Oh, this man was actively trying to kill you. 

Darlin’ ? Lord, were you screwed. 

You hoped the dim lighting was doing enough to hide the burning red that was probably staining your cheeks already, especially since Joel was pushing off of the door frame and walking over to you. 

“Needed a break from the crowd too?” you ask softly, cutting through the quiet.

The corner of his lips curves up in one of his killer smirks and you can already tell that’s gonna be one of your favorite things about him. “You readin’ me like a book.” 

You give him a tiny smile and take a sip of your Coke, the cold liquid a welcome distraction. “I thought you’d be manning the grill.”

He grumbles softly, the sound reverberating in his chest. “Hank’s got it covered for now. Figured I’d come check on you.”

You look up at him confused. “Check on me? Why?”

He shrugged, his eyes meeting yours with an intensity that made you feel seen in a way you hadn’t felt in a long time. “Just wanted to make sure you’re doing alright. This can’t be easy, coming back after all this time.”

More than the charming smirks or the pet names or the indecipherable jabs, this knocked the air out of your chest. You were so used to everyone telling you how lucky you were, how your parents were wonderful and how great it was they could put you through college, how you had a perfect life and how easy it seemed for you to deal with it all. You get it, that’s how it looked from the outside and you didn’t blame people for thinking that. But the truth was you had just become shockingly skilled at hiding your struggles, pretending you had everything under control and plastering a big, dazzling smile on your face.

Somehow, in the few hours that Joel has been around you, at least in this past decade, he managed to see right through this smoke screen you’ve been building your entire life to keep people from seeing what’s going on inside. 

It leaves you speechless for a second. “Oh, um…” you can’t take your eyes off of him now, far too unconcerned to notice if you’re staring. “It’s been… exhausting and a bit hectic but, you know, I’m alright. Thank you for asking, Joel.” His name slips out of your lips so easily, like you could picture yourself saying it over and over again without ever burning out. 

He looks down, almost like he isn’t used to doing this either, like he’s searching for something else to say. Then his hoarse voice breaks through the silence “Well, if you’re not, you know where to find me.” 

With one last glance, a lingering one at that, Joel turns back and leaves where he came from. Like he didn’t just tip your entire world out of balance. 

And you’re left there in the dark, trying to figure out what the hell this feeling on your chest is and why, on god's green earth, your father’s best friend won’t leave your head. 

[konigsluvr]

Hey hey! I'd like to request König headcanons please. I was thinking more of his childhood but it can be anything really :D thanks x

Also I'm an Avatar fan too! Don't seem to know a lot of people who are into both #teamneteyam

Hey!! I looooove Avatar so much, I haven't been reading it much lately but 2 months ago I was on tumblr all day, everyday just reading various Avatar fics (best days of my life). I miss neteyam so much :(( I really hope this is to your liking<3 i have included some NSFW headcannons, but there will be a warning, if you are uncomfortable, just skip. Reposts are highly appreciated. I will literally marry you. And of course, here I present...

★ navigation ★ masterlist ★

König Headcanons

Includes: Childhood König. König x fem!reader. Fluff. Spice. Smut.

☆ As said in his biography, he has suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life. This probably started developing in maybe late childhood/early teens.

☆ I can picture him as the quiet kid in school. Had a couple chill friends that he was comfortable around and hung out with after school.

☆ I think König was average grade student (like me lmao), not bad grades but not super good either, he just did what he had to do at school.

☆ He liked helping around the house so he could contribute and help his parents save time.

☆ He applied to the military at 17, having a job that allows him to blow off steam would help with his anxiety sometimes but if it's a more dangerous mission than usual, his anxiety might peak but he could have coping mechanisms.

☆ Even though he is 6'10" and literally all muscle, he can't stay still. Due to his anxiety again, he is fidgety at times depending on the social situation he is in. Now this leads onto the relationship stuff.

☆ With him being fidgety, I feel his love language is physical touch. He can sometimes struggle with his words but you always know that he loves you when he cuddles you or does little things like playing with your hair or holding your hand whenever you are in public.

☆ König isn't the best at working with technology but you'll show him how he can text you and phone you, so whenever he has free time at base or whenever he isn't with you, expect him spamming you with texts because he misses you so much :((

☆ He has a gym at home for when he wants to work out but with him having such a physical job he doesn't feel the need to workout everyday, maybe 3 or 4 times a week when he's home with you but at base he'll do it more as its like the only thing to do there.

☆ He enjoys going on walks. When he's home with you he'll love going on a walk in the woods or just wondering around town with you, go shopping to get food for supper or something, he'll sneakily buy flowers to surprise you. At base, he sometimes can't sleep well so he'll just walk around for some fresh air to clear his mind.

☆ His down time with you would be watching your favourite show or a random movie. He would do it just to cuddle up or be with you but he will get invested. Like I watched the notebook last night and I was thinking about König crying as you watch the notebook together.

☆ Like you'll be watching the movie and a sad scene comes up, you are already crying and you hear a sniffle but it isn't from you. You turn to your left and see a tear rolling down Königs cheek. This will make you cry harder as you wipe away his tears and cuddle into his neck.

☆ With König having a high payed job, he has a lot of money that he doesn't know how to spend. Lucky him, he has you. You would tell him its no bother, that you have enough clothes and pretty jewellery to last you a lifetime but he drags you to the car to your favourite store and you can't help but give in.

☆ He would get a former guard dog and train it to only command you and him, this dog would stay at home with you all the time. You would take it out walks and just spend your whole day with it. He wants to make sure you are safe all of the time.

NSFW AHEAD!!

☆ He likes to take it slow, make ethereal love to you and treat you like your made of glass. You would let a few tears roll down your cheek from his sweetness.

☆ Pussy eater!!! He is like a god with his tongue. Worships your clit like its his favourite thing while his fingers work in and out of you. It doesn't matter if you are crying from overstimulation, you have a safe word. His only mission is making you cum.

☆ Loves face sitting, literally just loves your pussy on his face and your thighs pushing against the side of his head. You would tell him that you are too heavy, he huffs frustrated and pulls you down on him and instantly gets to work. Let's just say, you forgot about what you said 3 seconds ago.

☆ Breeding kink. Sorry, not sorry. In all his fantasies about you, it's you all pretty n pregnant with his baby. You will have that pregnant woman glow and he just can't keep his hands off of you. He doesn't really wear condoms but you'll usually be on the pill, he still struggles to pull out but it's nearly impossible for him. But when he does cum in you, he finds it the sexiest thing ever. He'll use his fingers to plunge his load back into you to feed his growing hunger.

☆ He loves when you top him and take your time with him, but he also enjoys being in charge and having his sole focus on you, even if you just came for the fourth time from his tongue and his cock is rock hard.

☆ The ratio between him giving you head and you giving him head is very diverse. He loves a good blowie but only does it when you want to, he will never ask you.

☆ Isn't one for quickies, he wants to take his time with you. He wouldn't like the risk of someone else seeing you being intimate with him, that is a sight only for him to see.

☆ Isn't afraid to make noise in the bedroom. Whimpering. Moaning. Whining. Groaning. He does it all.

I hoped you liked this!! If you have any more requests don't be shy. Stay safe and take care of yourself my lovies xx

[callioclops]

Going through Tumblr's Community Guidelines to find out which one all the transfems are apparently breaking

So let's just be clear, we all know that transfem blogs are being taken down for criticising Tumblr staff. I wouldn't be surprised if mine goes down for making this. But I think it would be good if we just go through what is and isn't allowed and find where they might be trying to find a loophole if they even bother to give a reason.

The only way I could see this ever being relevant to the transfem ban wave is if they made pro-Palestine posts which Staff chose to unfavourable misinterpret as pro-Hamas, which I wouldn't be surpised by but it's a separate point I think

Ironically, transfems are getting banned for doing the exact thing it suggests here. We're addressing our concerns directly with staff. We're speaking up, we're raising awareness, and yet we're banned for explicitly following the advice given in the Community Guidelines. Nevertheless I expect a few of them have been banned on this exact point. Now, if any of the critiques had been levelled at the staff specifically based on any of the qualities listed then yes, that would be valid, but I've yet to see that, and even if I did see that I have no doubt that they'd be banned faster than the 50 TERFs and Nazis that commited the exact same violation against them for weeks on end.

I'm including this one for the sake of completion but I don't think I need to talk about it. Obviously no one is violating this for critiquing staff and I think it would be absurd for them to try and claim it.

A similar thing here, although more likely than the former if a "KYS" gets thrown in out of an understandable amount of anger or frustration. Again however, I haven't personally seen this from any criticisms.

We know transfems have been banned on this point. It's been explicitly stated and the evidence given has been none, or tenuous at best. They can and will book you on this point for any reason it seems. We shouldn't have to be scared to share our photos to highlight our experiences as trans women. There is no reason why our faces should be considered inappropriate.

To my knowledge the only time this has come up is Hammer Car, and we all know how absurd that is. To be banned over a looney tunes threat shows the person pulling the trigger has been waiting for a reason.

The following is a long string of completely irrelevant guidelines that I'm including to make sure I haven't missed anything, feel free to skip over these.

And now we're back to one last thing that has a chance of being levied agaisnt us:

Staff, I want to make this perfectly clear to you: Critique is not harassment. Protest is not harassment. Your job is to run a website that is welcoming to people of all gender identities, races, ages (within your own limit of when people can make an account of course), etc. When you're getting so many complaints about this, that should be an indicator for you to consider whether something is being done wrong. And it may not be you that's doing it, but when the company you work for is allowing this rampant prejudice to be carried out, you have a duty to do something about it. Make a statement denouncing the actions of the company. If you're in a position to do so, strike. Protest. If you agree with us that what's happening is wrong, then stand with us. And if you don't see anything wrong with the silencing of disparaging opinions from an oppressed minority, keep at it I suppose. You won't get all of us.

And finally a couple more completely irrelevant guidelines for this topic.

[sgiandubh]

A tale of two brands

Sophie Mancini's Departures paper on S in NY started a flurry of comments even before the whole content was made available on blogs. That people - mostly in Mordor - jumped in to add their two booing cents on the matter, based on two or three Instagram Story screencaps only, is a testimony to Tumblr's community deep interest in S's slightest PR/sales move and the easiness with which people like *urv managed to push their own agenda, in the process, to her unsuspecting, bicep-loving crowd.

Many of these comments asked just one question, more or less kindly and more or less openly: who are you, Sam Roland Heughan? Some of them, more along my alley, took a different angle: who are you talking to, Sam Roland Heughan?

Let me count the US crowds: the Wall Street yuppie crowd? the old money, WASP Knickerbocker / Colony Club crowd? Tribeca's sophisticated, culture-ish snob crowd? the UN international crowd? the laid-back (-ish) brownstone Brooklyn crowd? the DC politico types? the Boston Brahmin crowd? the Silicon Valley Bitcoin crowd? the Florida Latino crowd? the Bible Belt crowd? the Deep South charmingly old-fashioned crowd? the yee-haw, witty and ambitious Texans? the gourmet, nature-loving Seattle crowd? I am sure I am missing some (it's been a while I haven't traveled to the States and I have to say I miss all 50 of them, plus and perhaps above all my beloved DC :), but you get the idea. And the problem, or rather its first layer.

The second question this very poorly written article prompted is: what are you talking about, Sam Roland Heughan? I mean, what destination are you trying to promote? Scotland, through your Scottish gin, which I truly believe is exceptional? The Big Apple, like a counterpart to Sting, you know - a Scotsman in New York? That's not very clear, since that superficial girl just whirled you to a couple Chinatown speakeasies, rat pitter-patter included (bye-bye, Knickerbocker crowd right there) and that's pretty much it. New Zealand, that you mention at length, Maori tattoo story re-hashed, just because the book comes out next Tuesday? Ha-wa-wee, perhaps in a belated attempt to mitigate Tunagate? California, even, because it takes you back to humble beginnings? Granted, the Frisco one, not LA: that would be a horrible faux-pas, in a NY centered paper, much like me whimsically and idiotically mentioning Istanbul (instead of Constantinople), in a conversation with my Greek friends.

My head spins. And then let's add to that a ladle of recycled talking points, yours and C's altogether, like this gem:

Aspirational. Mmmhm. She said that. You said that. Multiple times, in multiple contexts that probably didn't even call for it. This is *** PR right there. I am not JAMMF. I am not Claire. But we aspire to that. Stop thinking we are these characters. No sane fan ever did: the insistence is unnecessary and has a real backfire potential. Stop thinking, period. But let it be my shipper sin, then, not to believe an iota of it and stubbornly think you people are, by now, way past the aspirational stage.

So, I took a long walk down memory lane today, while driving, trying to understand what the hell your personal brand is. Once upon a time, things were clear: you and C were a single brand. S&C - the fresh-faced, candid, witty and funny and oh, so in love new kids on the block. The spark was real and it was strong (it still is, only dampened and muted by PR-prompted shenanigans) and OL's audience was under its spell. People loved you, both of you, and some of us still do. You showed us as much as you could and for a while, it seemed to be convenient for just about everybody. That created expectations, but at the same time, you could have sold us land concessions on the Moon and we would have bought them, no questions asked.

And then, things happened. We know what: IFH, EFH, Remarkable Week-end. The spell was broken for many, who left in droves. Fans turned into bashing other fans. The S&C brand was progressively compromised and along with it, your Barbour Ambassadorship (for different reasons). Let's stop a bit at this point, in fond remembrance: that was the perfect pitch, for the perfect kind of corporate brand, for the perfect niche, for the perfect guy. A guy who had a credible, authentic story to tell, with a really strong potential to attract people outside of OL's crowd. Image and message perfectly aligned. Best case scenario.

So, with ***'s and your own PR benediction, what once was your solid gold starting point was ridiculed, trampled, shot to shambles, in a (failed) attempt to be sent to complete oblivion. You then had to think of something and try to branch out of both the blessing and curse of it.

MPC suddenly became more important than just any other charity project, of which there were a few (Cahonas Scotland comes to mind, the blood cancer one, as well). Cue in Sam the Athlete, Sam the Healthy Living Evangelist. The project was turned into a lucrative business, with a strong charity side. People bought subscriptions, people changed their eating and lifestyle habits, people lost weight - but really, I shouldn't write 'people', but 'women'. This was a women-oriented endeavor. A problem, again, on the long term.

Ha-wa-wee 1 happened, to more scandal and shrieks (that, I believe, was the reason you lost the Barbour project, another gold opportunity squandered because ten Internet bitches knew better). Then we were told another avatar was born: Sam the Entrepreneur. With a genuine, carefully curated, labor of love first alcohol product that clearly used the discarded S&C brand: The Sassenach and believe what you want, but just buy it. Mommies obliged. Antis obliged. Shippers obliged. All wallets are created equal, as I (often) use to say. And then COVID-19 came, putting a very real, very dangerous logistic strain on it.

Yet, you still had to somehow mitigate delays and losses. The Sassenach went exotic, with that limited edition tequila that probably won't be remembered by many outside OL's fandom, and that is a pity and a shame. The reason it won't be remembered is that you almost did not promote it, spare one or two Tick-Tock and Instagram clips. Does that justify the investment, the trips to Mexico, the very expensive retainers and commissions your tequila friends took for their trouble? I very much doubt it. That was, until being proved completely wrong, a flop. It brought absolutely nothing in terms of personal branding, spare perhaps a new faction in this paranoid cesspool of a fandom: the Gay Crowd, fueled by the image of a Lonely Bandana Cowboy, instead of the intended Sophisticated Traveler and Connoisseur. Yes, people are stupid, like that. Your PR and Sales team, too - and this comes from a place of deep understanding and appreciation.

We are now talking gin and boy, am I glad we do! This is perhaps an opportunity. Finally, a more democratically price-tagged, carefully tailored (again) drawing card product. But who is selling it to me? The California Boat Party Host? In that case, I won't buy it, but never mind me: maybe the fun-loving California Millennials would (we know the Smuggling Mommies would do it, anyways). The Sophisticated Traveler and Connoisseur you tried to show us again in Mancini's abysmal Departures paper and who is invited to important events, in recognition of his efforts?

You can't have the two of them, Sam, whatever those incompetents told you. You're either a 43-years old midlife crisis-stricken and shirtless clown or an Old World Industrious Thespian, with a stature and a status to match. A real Entrepreneur, not a cartoon scuba diver/beach boy Influencer. Eye Candy vs. Brain Power: after all, you are a '3x NYT best selling author', aren't you? Your pick, not mine. Stop the Sri Mataji-style Hugging and Booze tours: it's nonsense and that geriatric crowd is nowhere near what you need to make your dream come true. Do some real soul searching and stop listening to clueless 28-year old journalists, who tell you tacky rings are fun: they aren't. They make you look like an ageing Atlantic City Sinatra wannabe:

Sam Roland Heughan: currently at crossroads, trying to not choose between two opposite personal brands. Tricky position and an even trickier context, with the strike still lingering on and the pressing need to find an after OL strategy.

I promised you a tale of two brands and I think you wonder, by now, what happened to C, the other half of the primary SC brand?

The answer is, I honestly believe, not much. She has no personal brand, so to speak. Until now, she is just an Enthusiastic Dilettante. Book Club - started, unfinished and with that, farewell to any fan engagement. Cinema production rights - bought and then silence. Botanical Gin - first batch released (?) with no promo, no interviews (mentioning it in a podcast does not count), no reviews. Then teasing, then crickets again: a bit late, now, for the end of year celebrations. And I have to say I miss her or the part of her I never witnessed in real time (is such a thing possible?). I miss that starry-eyed, funny and witty girl. That girl was somehow completely swallowed by an Acrid Matron, who thought it was intelligent to yell at an Internet nobody, on Christmas Day, 'I am not married to Sam!' (ok, you aren't, but you're still lying). And I honestly don't know which one is best (or worst, for that matter): try to build something and make mistakes and try again until you hopefully find your way, or say nothing, do nothing and of course, never be controversial.

Now I am really interested to see how is she going to promote her gin. But you know what, I am not holding my breath, for some reason.

[baki-tiene-un-simp]

Hey, I know that i've already asked agood amount of hc but could you please make an hc for retsu, musashi, mumon, sukune and jun with an S/O that was almost killed by someone like their enemy or something (like a very graphic and bloody injuries that are basically exposing the bone or the whole body is basically fully bruised) but they get to the hospital and they are in a coma and they wake up after 3 to 6 months or so moments before their S/O is umpluged from the life support and everyone thought that they were basically dead.I would like to know about their thoughts, feelings and plans after they thought they were going to lose their S/O and their plans for the future, also what they would do the person and how would they react to their S/O coming back and some aftermate.

Thanks for having the patience to deal with so many asks.

Heres a kiss for my FWACCOF(Favorite Writer And Content Creator Of Tumblr)

P.S.(I know that this kind of reads "fuck off" but I liked the acronym so I'll let it stay)

Hope you have a nice second/minute/hour/day/week/month/year/life/eternety.

Situation: Baki's men's train of thought when an enemy attacks their S/O. / Tren de pensamiento de los hombres de Baki cuando un enemigo ataca a su S/O.

Characters: Jun Guevaru, Musashi Miyamoto, Mumon Katsuragi and Retsu Kaioh.

Jun Guevaru.

"These months have been exhausting without them, so stressful how everyone seems to go on with their lives while I feel lost because they didn't react, but they have finally come to their senses. They have opened their eyes and looked at me after so long, I really missed those beautiful eyes.

Who could even think of hurting you, mi amor? What kind of monster could hurt you, mi ángel?

I must make sure that your house is protected so that this incident does not happen again. A couple of my men could regularly hang around there just to keep the perimeter clear, I'll be with them anyway so I can protect them. Oh how I've missed you…"

Musashi Miyamoto.

"It's ridiculous to take it out on someone who can't defend themselves, what logic is there in attacking others when the target is me? The discomfort in my chest hasn't disappeared since they were attacked a couple of months ago, now that they woke up I felt less… Uncomfortable, but that feeling is still there.

Is it some kind of desire for revenge? Revenge doesn't taste so bitter, besides, I'm satisfied when I use my katanas on the offender. I don't understand what happens.

I don't understand how they are still here either, their slow breathing and their lack of mobility during these months only gave me an image of what I thought was the future, I don't know how they managed to come back to life, but I will stay with them until they can explain it to me…"

Mumon Katsuragi.

"They opened their eyes, heaven has finally heard my pleas, maybe God got tired of hearing me cry at night to get them back to me. I stopped myself, I wanted to jump on them and kiss them as if I hadn't seen them in years, but I I held back; her condition is delicate and I must be careful.

The doctors haven't stopped talking about her treatment and diet from now on, that old cookbook I found at her house should help me a bit. They probably don't mind me staying at their apartment, I spend most of my time there and they need help right now.

I have to go home before them, I have to clean and change the sheets so they can rest as soon as they get out of the hospital, maybe they want to eat something after a long time? Probably, I'll take care of bringing today's dinner so that I can regain my strength after all these months…"

Retsu Kaioh.

"They are fine, they are fine, they have finally woken up and just in time, just when I lost hope of one day being able to see their eyes looking at me once more. If only I had been by their side when they needed me most, maybe if would have paid more attention to their surroundings they would not be here, they would not have suffered as they did.

The wounds have healed, but they need therapy and periodic checkups to make sure they are better. Maybe I should ask them to move in with me so that I can take care of them properly during all the remaining time of recovery and therapies, that would also allow me to be around for them when they need to do something and their injuries do not allow it.

A good diet is also vital, it could supply the pantry with foods rich in vitamins and nutrients, meat and fish, reduce sugar and bad substances for a period of time. The tea is medicinal, surely they will manage to calm your discomfort and help you sleep. I should take out the inflatable bed and offer them my bed, the important thing is that they are comfortable and rested…"

Versión en español.

Jun Guevaru.

"Estos meses han sido agotadores sin ti, tan estresante como todos parecen seguir sus vidas mientras yo me siento perdido porque tu no reaccionas, pero finalmente has vuelto. Al fin abriste los ojos y me miraste después de tanto tiempo, realmente extrañaba esos hermosos ojos.

¿Quién podría siquiera pensar en hacerte daño, mi amor? ¿Qué clase de monstruo podría lastimarte a ti, mi ángel?

Debo asegurarme de que tu casa esté protegida para que este incidente no se repita. Un par de mis hombres podrían pasearse regularmente por allí solo para mantener el perímetro libre, de todas formas estaré junto a ti, así que puedo protegerte. Oh, como te he extrañado…"

Musashi Miyamoto.

"Es ridículo desquitarse con quien no puede defenderse, ¿Qué lógica existe en atacar a otros cuando el objetivo soy yo? La incomodidad en mi pecho no ha desaparecido desde que fue atacado hace un par de meses, ahora que despertó me he sentido menos… Incómodo, pero ese sentimiento sigue allí.

¿Será alguna clase de deseo de venganza? La venganza no tiene este sabor tan amargo, además, quede satisfecho cuando use mis catanas en el causante. No entiendo que sucede.

Tampoco entiendo como sigue aquí, sus lentas respiraciones y su falta de movilidad durante estos meses solo me dieron una imagen de lo que creía era el futuro, no sé cómo logro regresar a la vida, pero me quedaré a su lado hasta que pueda explicármelo…"

Mumon Katsuragi.

"Abrió los ojos, el cielo al fin ha escuchado mis súplicas, quizá Dios se cansó de escucharme llorar por las noches para que me lo devuelvan. Me contuve, quise saltar sobre el y besarles como si no le hubiera visto en años, pero me contuve; su estado es delicado y debo tener cuidado.

Los doctores no han parado de hablar sobre el tratamiento y la dieta que debe seguir de ahora en adelante, ese viejo libro de cocina que encontré en su casa debería ayudarme un poco. Probablemente no le moleste que me quede en su apartamento, paso la mayor parte del tiempo allí y necesita ayuda justo ahora.

Debo volver a casa antes, debo limpiar y cambiar las sábanas para que puedan descansar tan pronto salga del hospital, ¿quizá quiera comer algo después de mucho tiempo? Es probable, me encargaré de traer la cena de hoy para que pueda reponer fuerzas después de todos estos meses…"

Retsu Kaioh.

"Está bien, se encuentra bien, al fin ha despertado y justo a tiempo, justo cuando perdí la esperanza de algún día poder ver sus ojos mirándome una vez más. Si tan solo hubiese estado a su lado cuando más me necesitaba, quizá si hubiera puesto más atención a su alrededor no estaría aquí, no hubiera sufrido como lo hizo.

Las heridas han sanado, pero necesitan terapia y revisiones periódicas para verificar que están mejor. Quizá deba pedirle que se muden conmigo para que pueda cuidarles debidamente durante todo el tiempo restante de recuperación y terapias, eso también me permitiría estar cerca cuando necesite hacer algo y sus heridas no se lo permitan.

Una buena dieta también es vital, podría abastecer la despensa con alimentos ricos en vitaminas y nutrientes, carnes y pescados, disminuir los azúcares y sustancias malas durante un periodo de tiempo. El té es medicinal, seguro que lograran calmar sus molestias y les ayudaran a dormir. Debería sacar la cama inflable y ofrecerle mi cama, lo importante es que esté cómodo y descansado…"

[ratwars]

Housekeeping. Long af, but important if you give a shit about my tagging system or actively use it to filter or regularly search my blog.

When I first started this blog I didn't know wtf I was doing or how to use tumblr. However as someone who loves making things searchable and sortable I quickly fell in love with the tagging system, and started extensively using organizational tags. I quickly settled on a consistent system I have been using ever since.

I used to never talk on here either but eventually decided to do that more but when my follower count was lower (which I miss tbh) it was super obvious when ppl would unfollow me, which tended to happen after personal posting. So I created a -pers tag so ppl could shut me up but still get 24 hr reblogs. Because I did have a queue going for the better part of those 2 years.

My queue ended a couple times in the past 6 months and I haven't had the time or energy to put it back together again. I miss having it. I also have less time and energy to deal with my own tagging system causing me to do most of my reblogs in 2 parts. Drafting things when I see them. Tagging and posting them later sometimes weeks later as my drafts build up. I have been even worse about leaving compliments and comments in tags as well because of this. I am tired and busy but I miss it.

In order to combat my issues and take the burden off of myself that I put on myself, and allow me to hopefully do more of what I enjoy while still sharing lots of rbs with yall, I am doing the following:

I will no longer be consistently tagging individual bsd characters except for a few. Fyodor, Nikolai, Sigma, and Dazai (because I regularly search them on my own blog). And possibly characters who it is more of a rare treat to rb fanart of them, like Higuchi and Mori. I will no longer be tagging bsd posts that have other bsd tags in them as bsd separately (so the common "bsd fyodor, bsd fanart, bsd, would become bsd fyodor, bsd fanart.)

I will still tag new chapters on chapter release days and the day after, as well as continue to use the bsd spoilers tag for even longer.

For other series that are not bsd, I will only tag the series and no longer tag characters or use a fanart tag separately, with the exception of the dialovers Carla and Yui Komori tags.

I will no longer tag nature.

I will no longer tag quotes.

I will only use the "art" tag for non fandom related art, I will no longer use the illustration (or illlustration) tags.

I will use weirdcore or dreamcore tags but not both on the same post. It is important to me that ppl can still filter these out.

I will use -pers and -vent still, but with absolutely zero further promises that I will tag my own talking consistently. I will still put long or (things that I think would be) super upsetting under cuts like I have in the past. I will probably still delete things regularly.

I will no longer tag me reblogging my own posts as self rb.

I will keep my -whump on main tag, so ppl can filter that still. I will still tag cw eyestrain and cw flashing for accessibility. I will still tag blood and gore if it is intense and I post it here instead of my sideblog but I do not promise consistency.

I will still use my ask and tunes tags, and if I do special queues (like the friday fyo queue) I will tag those. I do plan on using my old queue tag as well or making a new one.

If I have gotten rid of anything that you actively filter please feel free to unfollow me even if we are mutuals. I also don't find it weird for people to visit my blog and interact with me without following me, so if you do feel you need to unfollow me but still want to search your blorbos on my blog, send me asks, or talk in my tags and replies, please do so and of course reblog and spam reblog from me to your heart's content. If you want to unfollow me and we have ever talked in dms before my dms are still open to you then as well. It doesn't bother me at all. This isn't so much of a new thing either in regards to my feelings about that, just a clarification I thought I should explicitly point out rn given the fact more of you might want to bail if you can't hide my bird posting for instance.

I might change or drop any of this if I feel like it. I enjoy being consistent, but I don't like feeling bound to it. And I realized I was which made me want to abandon my blog and start over without the imagined expectations. Instead I am trying this.

[random-mailbox]

Random-Mailbox's Favorite Sailor Moon Fics - Week 42 - Birthdays

It is Usagi / Chibi-Usa Birthday Week (on June 30th), so it seemed like a good time to do stories on this topic. Although after I finished looking through it, majority are for Mamoru’s birthday BUT it seemed fitting to include them as well.  Keep in mind that a lot of Usagi birthday fics are also tied to the birth of Chibi-Usa, which would be it’s own post down the road. 

Also, don't forget to check out the prompts for @usamamoweek2023!

As always, my apologies in advance for spoiling some of these for you (Fic Titles are linked to either FFN or AO3 entries).

Happy Birthday Mamoru! - @areptiledysfunction1107

While away at Harvard, Mamoru keeps waiting for a call that does not seem to be coming from Usagi on his birthday. His first one in a couple of years that he hasn't been either brainwashed or dead for. But maybe, just maybe she has a surprise for him.

Trouble Trying to Sleep - @sailormoonrewrite

In a post Galaxia world, Usagi is having trouble falling asleep - made that much worse by the fact that it is night before her birthday.

"Girl's" Night In - @uglygreenjacket

To do something extra special for Usagi’s birthday, Mamoru (with some help and guidance from the girls), plans a surprise slumber party for her at his place. Doing all the traditional “girly” things you would expect, much to her delight.

a space in the clouds - @idesofnovember

Written for Mamoru’s 40th birthday, this slice of life fic is based in an alternate timeline where Crystal Tokyo did not come to pass. We get a glimpse of what future would look like and how grateful he is for it.

A Week with Mamoru Chiba: Chapter 6: Birthday - @she-dreams-in-pink

In this pre-relationship fic, Mamoru is dreading his birthday that no one should know is even that day. Except Usagi decided that she would do something to change that. 

Tokens of Affection: Chapter 9: 1st U_M anniversary: Celebration - Lina_Natsudori (Jennifer Ellison)

A short ficlet about Mamoru appreciating everything his life has become with Usagi and the girls around him

---

That's it for June! Yes, we have made through another month and FOURTY-TWO weeks of posts (cue jokes about Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).

Next week we start our July post schedule:

July 3 - Fluff

July 10 - First Kiss

July 17 - Reviving Shitennou

July 24 - @usamamoweek2023 - no fic rec post because you should be focusing on everything that creative people in this fandom are doing for that event!

July 31 - Tutoring

Here are the links to the previous Tumblr posts in these series to explore more amazing works based on different themes - make sure to check them out if you haven't had a chance! (Click on title name to go to the post) - I will keep updating the list every week as new posts come up:

Week 1 - Groundhog Day

Week 2 - Established Relationships

Week 3 - Sex Positivity

Week 4 - Unfinished Stories

Week 5 - Darker Stories

Week 6 - Potions 🧪

Week 7 - Reveals

Week 8 - 👻Halloween🎃

Week 9 - Wrong Perceptions

Week 10 - Non-Senshi AU

Week 11 - In-Progress Fics

Week 12 - Mutual Pining

Week 13 - Enemies to Lovers

Week 14 - Slow Burn

Week 15 - Christmas Part 1 - Ugly Christmas Sweaters and Santa!

Week 16 - Christmas Part 2

Week 17 - New Years

Week 18 - High School AU

Week 19 - Slice of Life

Week 20 - Coffee shop AU

Week 21 - Huddle for Warmth

Week 22 - Friends to Lovers

Week 23 - ❤️Valentines Day❤️

Week 24 - Do a Grouch a Favour Day (or Cheer Up Fics)

Week 25 - Soulmate AU

Week 26 - Amnesia Fics (and resources)

Week 27 - 🍀St Patrick's Day🍀

Week 28 - Fix it Fics

Week 29 - Prompt: Mug

Week 30 - Flowers

Week 31 - Traditions

Week 32 - Dreams

Week 33 - Friends

Week 34 - Body-Swap

Week 35 - Medical Assistance

Week 36 - Sex Pollen

Week 37 - Psychometry

Week 38 - What If

Week 39 - Missing Scenes Part I

Week 40 - Green Jacket

Week 41 - Dr Chiba

[maxverstepponme]

Someone submitted this but they wanted to keep being anonymous so I’m reposting it (sorry if it took me this long)

Anon: anon please

Someone on IG put together a list a while ago, and more things happened. So let's put all the weirdness into one place.

Kelly calls paparazzi twice. Max gets body shamed.  During the 2nd stint after seeing the paparazzi he even puts on a T shirt

Yes Kelly we see you seeing the photographer and *grooming* cough Max to give you a kiss. What I also see is your cheap hairpiece attached to the back of your head. Thanks to you we do know in which Salon in Monaco to get this excellent hairpiece job done, since you showed us in an ad.

2. The pictures release on Monday 09/01 when Max is back in Monaco training with Brad and Kelly went to her family in Miami.

Kelly calls the paparazzi again on herself but we won't see those pictures for 2 weeks

A friend of Kelly posts from Max apartment but according to Kelly's stories she is still in Miami

Someone claims in a anon messages that on reddit there has been a rumor Kelly slapped Max after they argued about a female fan. But nobody has a screenshot or can link to the story.

Kelly returns officially 22/01 and posts Max and P pictures but there is the question if those are recent because of P's height difference

7. F1 IG gossip ngl accounts are overrun by Kelly's minions speaking of marriage.

The 3rd Paparazzi pictures get released after 2 weeks on 24/01. A nonnie finds out the guy in the ridiculous kiss picture works for a UK PR firm.

She posed more for these pictures than the Vogue shooting. Also that kiss face looks like it hurts.

Several people think something is up and discuss here and on IG. Original weirdness list is posted, only to have minions go crazy and scream marriage even more

Max flies to Milton Keynes on Tuesday 24/01

Max buying a red Ferrari in Monaco is released on Wednesday 25/01 even though he is still in England

Kellypiquetsource goes missing

Max fanpage not active in 2 weeks (since 15/01 last post M&K couple picture) even though we have 2 new running in Monaco, one cycling, Max buying a new Ferrari and First season picture from RB

Kelly's friend posts a picture of the "happy family" on a carousel 26/01 but Max returned that day at 9pm to Nice. We also find out this carousel is part of the Christmas Market that runs from 03/12/22 til 01/01/23. Meaning her friend posted OLD pictures. They went to St. Barths on 26/12

15. Victoria and Sophie haven't liked or commented on Kelly's posts since 22/12/22 and 17/01/23 respectfully.

People in anon messages imply Max is bi

Kelly follows a weird "dog house" account 28/01 meaning someone is hounded for something they did

The tumblr fan who paid for the first paparazzi pictures posted a picture from them in a Ferrari from 2021 and claimed it was recently

People start to realise all the weirdness and discuss everything in points 1 to 18 on this tumblr on Saturday 28/01

On tumblr someone is claiming there is a sex tape and "they" (M&K?) Paid to have it removed from public. Also claimed something about a Nazi party but no more information on that. So either someone is full of shit and made it up or someone has a lot more information and has it out for her/them

Kelly posts a picture in black and white on 29/01. This is the first time since 22/12 and 17/01 that Victoria and Sophie liked a picture. "Max" commented on it. A day after we notice and discuss the weirdness.

[koiyin]

GUYS GUESS WHO'S BACK... 'YAY'

so uh idk why i come back on tumblr every couple months and make posts like this but i've basically ruined my account at this point haha perfectionist issues and i'm going to try to be honest with everyone of you guys because. idek at this point

i don't know how everyone's opinion of me is at this point, and it feels like i'm ruining it. i don't know if this is me now, if i kind of put up a front before, but why these posts seem different than the others on my blog is a mystery to me ^^'

maybe i'm just overthinking it, though?

well, my life is pretty shit. i don't really have any friends, except for a couple close ones who can somehow deal with me-- and, yeah. people at my school don't really like me, and i've fucked up a lot recently. this post sounds really depressing. sorry for that.

i don't know, i guess prior to the whole incident (moots, yk what i'm talking about) i always tried to put up a cheerful front. i had an idealized version of myself, and that was koi. and i did act like myself a lot around you guys, because i became comfortable with all of you and i felt accepted. i'm really grateful for what you all have done for me.

so, more about what's going on- basically, i'm just... not happy with myself, i guess. i wish i had more friends.

you know, my goal in life at one point was to be friends with everyone in my grade. that was more than a year ago. i guess that whole hope pretty much died out. but i do still try my very best, and this is turning into a ramble which i'm sorry for but i just want to get everything off of my chest.

i'll probably never use tumblr regularly again- but, who knows, shit changes.

the incident really affected me. after i was told about everything and learned about all of what happened, i was just... i don't know. i was told that it was that day that i began to eat less, act angrier, and all of that shit- and that went on for a couple weeks.

eventually, i tried to forget about it. i still think about every once in a while, though.

well, i'm starting to sound like a pessimist. i miss when i could be koi, the friendly, cheerful, happy person who had a bunch of friends that worried about him and asked if he was feeling okay.

i don't even know what's going on anymore. i feel fine, and then i go through short spikes of depression. or maybe i'm just a person that's sad all the time, but i choose to be ignorant. i'm really sorry that whoever reads this has to hear me vent and all that shit, but i'm just glad that i can say all of my feelings in the hopes that someone will read this.

so, let's talk about what's been going on since i've left- since i really feel like i should add some filler because of my long absensce '- -

well, i got a suit that kind of reminded me of haruchiyo sanzu from tokyo revengers (haha weeb things) and i look pretty hot in it, ngl- and, my family moved back to our house, which got remodeled. i've done a lot of drawing, too.

and, for context of the tokyo revengers comment earlier- i've been hyperfixating on it for so long. i love the series and the characters aaa

also, i started bakuman and black butler, and they're pretty good! i love the plot of bakuman so much!! (the death note team always makes amazing manga) i also got the first book of haikyuu from the library, because i've seen it referenced online so much and i haven't taken the time to check it out yet.

whew. i don't know, i guess saying all this makes me sound more human than just pixels on a screen. (but i'm actually 3 ducks in a trenchcoat) (i'm not funny)

i've had a lot of homework, so i've been pretty busy.

and i have to go eat dinner now, so i'll be leaving- but again, thank you guys for being my friends for so long. and, why are people still following me when my blog is inactive like- ????

[skyhopedango]

WHAT WHAT WHAT

So like... like...

Here I am, just minding my own business, being in a somewhat better place mentally in these past couple months (despite my world getting increasingly worse ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ), considering slowly getting back to fandoms and reactivating my social media and stuff*... especially after having an AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH moment over Loulou*di's Dying Matter**

...and then I open Twitter, and the HanaDoll* account comes at me like

....WHAT

I'm so worried! I really really don't want this franchise to get one of those really cheaply made idol animes, like the TsukiPro show... but I don't think they have the funds of even UtaPri, let alone Idolish7 or something... Also this franchise has such an amazingly well thought-out visual design, it would really really suck to see it not being done justice in an anime, but I can't imagine it having the sort of money to make it happen... Oh well, we'll see.

Anyway, though, it says the anime will be adapting Season 1, which is I guess a safe way to go? It's a good introduction to the HanaDoll* world. Honestly, though, I would have preferred more manga over an anime. S2 would make a great manga, especially with Loulou*di and the sheer intensity of their... *gestures wildly* their everything. Maybe, if the anime makes any decent business, they'll restart the manga.

.

..

...

....

So anyway, I guess I'm back? :D

I thought I'd just sit down and write a post like "the world still sucks, and it sucks more and more with each moment, and I'm still feeling low-key anxious, but I guess I'm doing better, enough to have been able to sob my heart out over Think Of Me: Mono anyway,*** so let's just slowly ease back... also maybe write something about Mono because yeah that should totally be written about..."

Instead it's

"OH MY GOD HanaDoll* is getting an anime WHAT"

I guess that's how my life rolls! :D;;

orz

*If anyone happened to have read this far - I apologize to anyone who have written to me or messaged me! I turned off app notifications on all my social media, but left email notifications on Tumblr, and got none, so I was like okay, so it's peace and quiet... except as I found out a week ago, my email client at one point decided to deliver all my Tumblr notification emails right into my junk folder. 😩And since that folder is set to be emptied in every five days... yeah, I basically missed everything. So I'm very sorry if you wrote to me and I didn't reply!

**I haven't had the opportunity to listen to the Think Of Me: Ark drama yet, but of course I did listen to the songs, and look,

1. I don't need to have listened to the drama to assume that Dying Matter is a Rui song, and

2. I guess this is basically canon confirmation that Rui is in love with Ageha? not that it hadn't been obvious so far but here they just flat out say it, not even in English or whatever like in Butterfly Knife, just flat out 愛してる、愛してる、愛してる/"I love you, I love you, I love you";

3. anyway that aside, tell me this is not going where the song implies it's going dear god Ageha, Rui, no, never mind poor Toki, also

4. 葬列の果てまで/"till end of your funeral procession" is just an absolutely amazing line, just... chef's kiss. This is Loulou*di, guys, they're not satisfied with the cheap dramatics of "until the end" or "beyond the grave" or whatever, no, it's "till the end of your funeral procession" because why be OK with a mere ten if you can turn it up to eleven. (Also, the visuals and implications it evokes are amazing. Hama Takeshi keeps doing it with this band, damn that man.)

***Dear god, Toki and Kaoru, My poor, poor Toki and Kaoru. Just... damn. That whole scene of them together. Oh god. Poor Toki. Poor Kaoru. Someone please help these boys.

[gittetj]

Ooooohh that's a fun ask game! Oh man would it be too much to ask about 5 characters? I'll try to make it short anyway

Could you do 1 for Nagata, 4 for Iida (listen. i know it's completely out of left field to ask this about iida. but we don't know anything about him. so can i at least have the courtesy to know what he likes or used to like OR IS THAT A SPOILER TOO??) 45 for Satsune, 46 for Himiko (mainly i'm curious about what makes her listen lol) and 51 for Yuka if you have the time?

.....actually would it be even mucher to ask for 50 about Higashio? He's hardly a "newer oc" but I have a sufficient argument. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLE

Hey, I asked for questions, no need to worry about giving too many of them.

My mind has been very far away from my stories in the last couple weeks. Life kind of drags and I've run out of plants to dig up from my garden (my new coping mechanism, apparently), so thanks for giving me something more creative to focus on for a little while!

1. Nagata: What’s the lie your character says most often?

Hmm, hard to answer without spoilers. Nagata doesn't tell little lies much. She's earned her current position by being rigorous, hard working, and brutally honest anywhere she can get away with it. She doesn't like to lie, it's risky and potentially harmful, but sometimes she thinks it's necessary, and she is very good at lying, so she'd rather take that task on herself than entrust anyone else with it. In other words, I guess most of her lying is done to help or protect someone else.

4. Iida: What’s a hobby they used to have that they miss?

Oh man this is hard. Often, the way I get to know my characters is to sort of interview them in my mind, or ask other characters about them if they don't want to talk to me (Iida is not chatty), and I think you could ask anyone about him and they would have no idea.

Iida has spent a Lot of time alone, so obviously he must have ways he likes to pass the time. I've been mentally glaring at him to make him speak up, but he only informs me he likes watching baseball. This is the best I can do, sorry

45. Satsune: What’s something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately?

People commenting on her appearance. Mostly if it's meant in a positive way. She will resent you for calling her pretty or cute, but she won't care as much if you call her gross for emerging from the forest covered in mud and leaves like the cryptid she is.

46. Himiko: Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen?

Big big talker. She often bulldozes over other people in conversations, interrupts them, dismisses the points they try to make, etc. She's pretty bad at picking up on social cues, but if someone starts crying or lashing out in a way where it's obvious something's wrong, she will shut up and focus on trying to understand the problem so she can help.

51. Yuka: What’s a phrase they say a lot?

Hmm, I haven't given her any, have I? The main speech quirk I keep in mind for her is that she laughs a lot.

I don't like to put pop culture references in the things I write, but if I did and if she was better at English, I really think Yuka would love Tumblr (Moblr?) She could recite all your favorite Tumblr memes for you.

50. Higashio: What belief / moral / personality trait do they stand by that you personally don’t agree with?

Higashio is frustrating because I really like him and find him relatable in some aspects, but he's also so... old fashioned? Misinformed? Like, there's clearly things other people have knocked into his head so hard that he's internalized them and isn't even aware of it. He's the kind of person who'll tell someone who's struggling that they aren't trying hard enough, the kind who'll tell them to stop being lazy and get a job, who'll call them ridiculous for being upset about something he doesn't understand, EVEN when he genuinely feels bad for them and wants to help. My patience with stuff like that got used up a long time ago.

Weirdly specific character building questions

[frances-and-the-moon]

I have no one to talk to and I feel a bit like a failure in life now even though I know I'm not a failure so I'm going to use tumblr as my diary from now on.

My family is still narcissistic - nothing has changed. My mother stomps constantly and is depressed and so is my sister. I think this town really brings out the worst in people, because there's nothing to do. So I have to do stuff by myself, and I have to start all over again.

I only see my psychiatrist once a week and no other people, but I have to stop doing that this week because it's too expensive and I have no money.

I am looking for a job online - a job is the only thing that can save me now. I've been trying to get into teaching in Italy but I haven't had any luck so far.

Since I don't know where I want to live and what I want to do, and since my family is now completely fucked, I can only rely on myself and other people. Since my dad died I became the scapegoat.

So I was thinking of getting a job somewhere and then moving to Australia or back to Iceland, or keep sending CVs and seize the opportunities. But the opportunities aren't coming.

I left Iceland because I didn't know which job to do but I have the same conundrum in Italy. Since I don't want to live here, I have to make a plan to either seize any job I can get, or move out in a couple of months or so. I'm not too sure about Australia but it seems like getting jobs is easy there. Iceland was a social wasteland, but Italy is too - all my friends have drifted apart and everyone has their own life now.

So it's either I find a job I really like, or I move back to Iceland, or I go to Australia, although I don't know which jobs I could get there. They also told me it's very very expensive.

I made Iceland my home for two years and I don't regret it. I had a nice house and I only chose jobs I liked, even though they weren't "permanent" jobs. I didn't mind that because I wanted to live there.

I have pretty dresses and makeup but I don't use them 'cause I never go out. That was the same in Iceland after a time.

I guess I'm in the midst of a life crisis which is ok. I know most of my friends have experienced it, too. Some decided to get government positions here and others just moved away.

The thing is, I've moved away so many times now I'm scared to do it and start all over again. Even though I send job applications I almost never get a response.

My professor has told me I could do a phd in Naples, but I haven't given her an answer yet.

I feel like I'm self-sabotaging (and self-sacrificing) myself because of the environment I live in.

I guess I was let down by most people who live here but I now realize it's kind of normal - I haven't been here for 2 years so I lost most of my friends and connections.

I know I have to start something, but I don't know what. I never moved abroad to work - only to study.

Now it's been one year and a half without a job. Not really cause I've been doing freelancing, but.

I think I may be not very motivated to move out or move abroad again, because it means working and since I don't know what to do or where to go or where I can feel most at home, I'm kinda stuck.

I'm stuck because my life was in Iceland up to one year ago, so starting over again - that's very tiring.

But I left Iceland because I kept comparing my life to those of people who moved abroad when they were much much younger and it always seemed to me like they had chosen the better country, compared to me.

They also didn't know what they wanted to do there, they just knew they wanted to live there and made their friends there and boyfriends etc.

I also had a boyfriend in Iceland. Then I thought: the language is too hard, it's not worth it, etc. I miss him a lot.

In a way it wasn't. It wasn't easy finding jobs, not like a place like Scotland and the "friends" I know who moved there did it when they were much younger anyway.

So that's why I thought about Australia - but I feel it might be another escape, and who is to say I'm going to like it?

I was veery motivated to live in Iceland but, again - no specific degree, not speaking the language were the reasons I left.

I think the point in life is to resist and insist in your goals, that's very important. I feel my goals are different from the people living in this tiny town.

That is why I want to leave.

[blindedguilt]

It's been quiet for some time, Leonard had noticed — not unlike the time he spent in the forest. It left him feeling some way he couldn't exactly tell. Was it unease? Possible loneliness? Either one was a feeling he hadn't expected to come back in such a way, but similarly, again, it had dug up a familiar memory of the forest...

Having finished tending to the small bonfire where he sat, Leonard's shoulders dropped and his head leaned back. For the first time since his pact — since meeting Seere — he wished he could be relieved of his blindness if only to confirm he wasn't alone as he thought he was.

The bonfire's warmth kept him comfortable, at least, as did the hope of the momentary thought that echoed throughout his mind: Time would tell.

//So this isn't an easy decision, but after a couple weeks of mulling it over, I've decided to put this blog into semi-permanent hiatus - basically, if things change either with the state of the RPC or my motivation to write I'll be more than eager to return, though it does seem unlikely.

//Things have been quiet lately, and it's of course by no means anyone's fault for being quiet!! (I can't blame them, life and Tumblr bullshit have taken a toll on a large portion of the RPC as a whole lately) But in the end, I think it had more of an effect on my motivation to write than even I expected. I tried for the past year or so to "Get back on my feet", as even now I deeply miss Leonard and being able to write him, but evidentially, I haven't gotten very far QwQ

//That said!! While this could be it for this blog, if anyone wants to discuss plans for plotting or even just chatting over Discord (At the end of the post), lemme know! One of the hardest things about the choice to leave this blog behind is definitely the loss of community that comes with it, there were a lot of people who followed me and that I briefly spoke to these past months who I don't want to cut off a potential friendship with just because of my own personal circumstances!

//And going onto that topic, I won't be shutting down or removing any current drafts or asks in my inbox in the event I ever magically DO get motivation to write again or something changes, and of course, that in turn means the blog itself will be staying as well!! You might have guessed, it goes without saying that this blog and the interactions on it mean a great deal not to just me, but (At least I hope!!) some of you. It's also a bit of why I wanted to "wrap up" the blog with the in-character piece at the top, even given my issues with writing (I may add to it to make it feel more "complete", given I kinda don't like how half-assed it feels currently), it just didn't feel fair to go for what could be forever without letting him speak his final piece. :,)

//I won't spend too long waxing out all the sentimentals, but I've stated over and over how when I first made this blog, I really wasn't expecting it to last much more than a couple weeks before moving onto another character. It's kind of impossible for me to state just how much this blog and all the experiences on it mean to me personally and the impact it's left, both personally, as I mentioned before, but also in my enjoyment and love for Drakengard 1 and 2 and Leonard's character specifically! Being able to dive into his mind and find someone I can put together so easy with such a well-constructed tragedy, it's not much of an overstatement to say that ironically, being able to play and put my own mind and problems away for one I not only cared to look into, but one I could more easily pick apart and explain the actions of while being layered enough and having enough facets to make it interesting. Leonard in a lot of ways was and is a sort of second life for me, but in a way I didn't have to deal with the burden of having a psychical body or firsthand perspective! lmao

//And not to be sounding all overdramatic or anything but as I said, it's letting go of not just what feels sort of like a little hideout or small part of me I like to nurture and keep from falling into rot, but this blog is some of the most fun I've had in a horribly otherwise busy, yes, but very mundane outside life. It's sort of pathetic to admit, but I mean it in the best way I can when I say I haven't really gotten so emotionally engaged with anything in a long time. Just the small interactions and memorable snippets from this blog, both from long-standing partners, people who fell off, or even people I just spoke to once and then never again still play over in my head and definitely spark a lot of joy when I really need it! I'll be honest, there's not one day that goes by where I don't think of at least one interaction I've had here. I remember my pain at being in a different timezone and always falling behind the drama before I went to the US and could finally catch up. To update on that: I'm not doing too well in the US in all honesty, but I'm doing my best to get on my feet and making progress!! One of the first things I always did in difficult situations was, unironically, use this blog to reference some old posts and memes to laugh and think about all the new connections, subplots, and jokes that were going to be shared.

//I guess the final point I'd like to make is a short one, but a major argument I had against shutting down when the thought first entered my mind, and the hardest part of all this is the loss of potentiality. I had a lot planned for Leonard, both things that I actively wanted to do and just general questions of "What kind of people will he meet with next? What will he think of them, and how long will they get to develop with each other?" The thought both of meeting new people and the interactions that could be shared with them, as well as all the different interactions and shenanigans that I thought might be in store when the DOD RPC came back was a major motivator in why I kept trying to fight my writer's block, and why I even kept this blog going for the past year with barely any activity to speak of. Even going on Discord, as you might imagine, can be limiting in its setup compared to just being able to search and see who's out there via tumblr - and joining communities can be quite an issue being a Leonard mun, specifically!!

//But either way, I'll be sure to find my way around it one way or another, and hopefully, by some divine miracle, I'll just end up back at this blog anyways!! Again, the chances are slim, but I'm really holding out here dskhffkdbhdkh

//I think that should be it based off what I wanted to say, Leonard's left nice and comfy at his campfire, and it's getting late so with ALL that said, if we've spoken or never have before (ESPECIALLY if we never have, I like to believe you followed for a reason so I'd love to speak to you so we can get to know each other better, plot, or just chat!!), please consider following me on Discord!! I'm usually on there, and always happy to talk (Unless I'm on Do not Disturb, but that's hardly ever lol):

//My discord is: barnabism

//Anyways, I apologise for the downer announcement, but this has been wracking my brain for the past few days so I'm at least glad just to get the hard part over with. :,)

//Thank you all for over two years of writing!! Please don't be afraid to reach out, and as always, if you have any questions, please ask!! ^^

[red-riding-wood]

Back from Hiatus

Trigger warning? I think? Brief mentions of medical stuff, nothing graphic. Oh, and death (but none occurred).

TLDR if you don't want to read seven paragraphs: Physical health bad, mental health bad, now hospitalised, fucked up when transferring my story files, hospital bad, home soon?, regardless you will be seeing me back in your feed probably more than you'd like

Rambling below cut

So, about a month ago I had to take a step back from Tumblr... and then an even bigger step back from Tumblr, because I had taken a step back from writing and I found that I just pressured myself too much to write and post when I did use the app. (I did my best to save your guys' stories in my drafts to read later but... I may have missed some and I definitely have some catching up to do.)

Why did I take a hiatus from writing? Well, that was due to my physical health declining in a real bad way. I won't get into it too much here, because I would end up telling a dramatic yet probably honestly boring story of the last four years of my life, but I'm willing to answer any questions if anyone's curious.

Anyway, that sent my head into a state of just utter... fear, I suppose. It's very difficult to care or focus on anything else when death is literally on your mind, and I was also in this weird state of limbo because I wasn't sure if I would be going to hospital or dying or what... so I didn't write, or really do anything except try to take care of myself the best I could. And I pretty much just isolated.

I've been in hospital a couple days now. The fear of death has lessened, and I think I'm gonna be okay, though I'm straight up not having a good time. I had this idea that what would get me through it was writing, so I sent myself all of my docs for my WIPs. Thing is, I keep shortcuts to them on my desktop, and apparently they don't save changes to the root file?? A lesson I learned after I showed up and found that massive chunks of my writing, notes, and storyboards were missing. Yeah, I fucked up.

But now there is talk of outpatient care as soon as this Friday which means I can maybe go home with my TPN (feeding through a vein tube which is the best way I can describe it since I am not a medical professional; it's basically a hardcore IV and I assure you it's badass and exactly like Cyberpunk 2077 -- that was sarcasm but seriously, props to anyone who lives with these because these are terrifying). If that's the case, I'll be able to carry on with White Ribbon and the fics I had started for Darjeeling and Budapest, and it will probably be a lot easier for me to write in general. I haven't tried writing yet, but hospital is a really uncomfortable environment for me (I mean, I'm sure it is for most people but I have a lovely lifetime dose of trauma on top of the usual) and I'm not managing as well as I thought I would so I have my doubts on how well I will be able to focus. (Don't worry about requests, guys... I haven't forgotten about any of them and I still fully intend to fulfill them, even if it means writing your smutty fantasies in hospital.)

If that's not the case, and I'm stuck here until surgery, well, I am willing it into the damn universe that I'm gonna write again regardless. So if you don't see me post something in the next week you have my blessing to send copious amounts of hate mail.

Thank you for reading my long-winded explanation. Oh, and, don't hesitate to message/reach out or tag me in anything! I'm feeling more social again now that I'm not, you know, dying and stuff.